the power of womanhood or mothers and sons a book for parents, and those in loco parentis by ellice hopkins author of "life and letters of james hinton," "wars among workingmen," etc. sow an act, and you reap a habit: sow a habit, and you reap a character: sow a character, and you reap a destiny. new york e.p. dutton & company west twenty-third street copyright, copyright, by e.p. dutton & co. the knickerbocker press, new york preface this little book has been written under great physical disabilities, chiefly while wandering about in search of health, and consequently far from the libraries which would have enabled me to give proper references to all my quotations. often for a whole year i have been unable to touch it; but again and again i have returned to my task, feeling it worth any risk to mind or body if only in the end its words might prove of some service to the educated mothers of england and america. under these circumstances, i know i may plead for indulgence as to any defects its pages may present. but now that, after six years, i have realized the pretty eastern proverb, "by patience and perseverance, and a bottle of sweet-oil, the snail at length reaches jerusalem,"--now that by god's unfailing help i have finished my difficult task, i can but commit the book into the hands of the women who have implanted in me, next to my faith in god, faith in the "power of womanhood," and whose faithful adherence and co-operation remain the deepest and most grateful memory of my life. most of the ordinary means of circulation are closed to a book of this nature. the doors of circulating libraries are for the most part shut; notices in papers for the general public are necessarily few; nor can i any longer hope, as i once did, to visit america, and give it a wide circulation by my own efforts. i can but stretch out my hands to my many dear unknown friends in america,--hands which have grown too weak to hold the sword or lift the banner in a cause for which i have laid down my all,--and ask any mother who may find help or strength in this book to help me in return by placing it in the hands of other mothers of boys she may know, especially,--i would plead,--young mothers. do not say they are too young to know. if they are not too young to be the mothers of boys, they are not too young to know how to fulfil the responsibility inherent in such motherhood. they at least can begin at the beginning, and not have occasion to say, as so many mothers have said to me, with tears in their eyes, "oh, if i could only have heard you years ago, what a difference it would have made to me! but now it is too late." enable me thus, by your aid, to do some helpful work for that great country which i have ever loved as my own; and which with england is appointed in the providence of god to lead in the great moral causes of the world. if, indeed, each mother whom, either by word or deed, i may have helped would do me this service of love now that i am laid aside, not yielding to the first adverse criticism, which is so often only a cry of pain or prejudice, but patiently working on at enlightening and strengthening the hands of other mothers in her own rank of life, what vital work would be done:--work so precious in its very nature, so far-reaching in its consequences, that all the travail and anguish i have endured, all the brokenness of body and soul i have incurred, would not so much as come into mind for joy that a truer manhood is being born into the world, even the manhood of him who-- "came on earth that he might show mankind what 'tis to be a man: to give, not take; to serve, not rule; to nourish, not devour; to help, not crush; if needs, to die, not live." belle vue gardens, walpole road, brighton, _nov. , _. contents chapter page i.--introductory ii.--"why should i interfere?" iii.--first principles iv.--the secret and method v.--early boyhood vi.--boyhood and school life vii.--early manhood viii.--the influence of sisters ix.--the modern woman and her future x.--national and imperial aspects xi.--the dynamic aspect of evil conclusion appendix "no advice, no exposure, will be of use until the right relation exists between the father and mother and their son. to deserve his confidence, to keep it as the chief treasure committed to them by god;--to be, the father his strength, the mother his sanctification, and both his chosen refuge, through all weakness, evil, danger, and amazement of his young life." rushkin. the power of womanhood chapter i introductory in a banquet given in honor of heinrik ibsen by a norwegian society known as the woman's league, in response to a speech thanking him in the name of the society for all he had done for the cause of women, the poet, while disclaiming the honor of having consciously worked for the woman's cause--indeed, not even being quite clear as to what the woman's cause really was, since in his eyes it was indistinguishable from the cause of humanity--concluded his speech with the words: "it has always seemed to me that the great problem is to elevate the nation and place it on a higher level. two factors, the man and the woman, must co-operate for this end, and it lies especially with the mothers of the people, by slow and strenuous work, to arouse in it a conscious sense of culture and discipline. to the woman, then, we must look for the solution of the problem of humanity. it must come from them as mothers: that is the mission that lies before them." whether we are admirers of the great norwegian poet or not, whether we are afflicted with ibsenism, or regard his peculiar genius in a more critical and dispassionate light, no one would deny to him that deep intuitive insight which belongs to a poet, and which borders so closely on the prophet's gift. it is now some years since i have been laid aside, owing to the terrible strain and burthen of my ten years' conflict with the evils that are threatening the sanctity of the family, the purity of the home, and all that constitutes the higher life of the nation. but in those ten years the one truth that was burnt into my very soul was the truth enunciated by ibsen, that it is to the woman that we must look for the solution of the deepest moral problems of humanity, and that the key of those problems lies in the hands of the mothers of our race. they, and they alone, can unlock the door to a purer and a stronger life. this, in ibsen's words, "is the mission that lies before them." and it is this strong conviction which makes me feel that, even with broken powers and shattered health, i cannot rest from my labors without, at any cost to myself, placing the knowledge and experience gained in those years of toil and sorrow at the disposal of the educated women of the english-speaking world who, either as mothers or in other capacities, have the care and training of the young. no one recognizes more thankfully than i do the progress that the woman's movement has made during what have been to me years of inaction and suffering. the ever-increasing activity in all agencies for the elevation of women; the multiplication of preventive institutions and rescue societies; above all, that new sense of a common womanhood, that _esprit de corps_ in which hitherto we have been so grievously lacking, and which is now beginning to bind all our efforts together into one great whole--these i thankfully recognize. we no longer each of us set up in separate and somewhat antagonistic individuality our own little private burrow of good works, with one way in and one way out, and nothing else needed for the wants of the universe. we realize now that no one agency can even partially cover the ground, and conferences are now held of all who are working for the good of women and children, to enable the separate agencies to work more effectually into one another's hands and unite more fervently in heart and soul in a common cause. beneath all this, apart from any external organization whatever, there is a silent work going on in the hearts of thoughtful and educated mothers, which never comes before the public at all, but is silently spreading and deepening under the surface of our life. but when all this is thankfully recognized and acknowledged, i still cannot help questioning whether the mass of educated women have at all grasped the depth and complexity of the problem with which we have to grapple if we are to fufil our trust as the guardians of the home and family, and those hidden wells of the national life from which spring up all that is best and highest in the national character. nay, i sometimes fear lest even our increased activity in practical work may not have the effect of calling off our attention from those deep underlying causes which must be dealt with if we are not to engage in the hopeless task of trying to fill a cistern the tap of which has been left running. this absorption in the effect and inattention to the cause is to a certain degree bred in us by the very nature of the duties that devolve upon us as women. john stuart mill has compared the life of a woman to an "interrupted sentence." the mere fact that our lives are so interrupted by incessant home calls, and that we are necessarily so concerned in the details of life, is apt to make us wanting in grasp of underlying principles. perhaps it is the fact of my having been associated all the early years of my life with eminent scientific men that has formed in me a habit of mind always to regard effects in relation to causes, so that merely to cure evil results without striking at the evil cause seems to me, to use a johnsonian simile, "like stopping up a hole or two of a sieve with the hope of making it hold water." it is, therefore, on these deeper aspects that more especially bear upon the lives and training of our own sons that i want to write, placing before you some facts which you must know if you are to be their guardians, and venturing to make some suggestions which, as the result of much collective wisdom and prayer, i think may prove helpful to you in that which lies nearest your heart. only, if some of the facts are such as may prove both painful and disagreeable to you, do not therefore reject them in your ignorance as false. do not follow the advice of a politician to a friend whom he was urging to speak on some public question. "but how can i?" his friend replied; "i know nothing of the subject, and should therefore have nothing to say." "oh, you can always get up and deny the facts," was the sardonic reply. let me first of all give you my credentials, all the more necessary as my long illness has doubtless made me unknown by name to many of the younger generation, who may therefore question my right to impart facts or make any suggestions at all. suffer me, therefore, to recount to you how i have gained my knowledge and what are the sources of my information. in the first place, i was trained for the work by a medical man--my friend mr. james hinton--first in his own branch of the london profession, and a most original thinker. to him the degradation of women, which most men accept with such blank indifference, was a source of unspeakable distress. he used to wander about the haymarket and piccadilly in london at night, and break his heart over the sights he saw and the tales he heard. the words of the prophet ground themselves into his very soul, with regard to the miserable wanderers of our streets: "this is a people robbed and spoiled; they are all of them snared in holes and hid in prison-houses; they are for a prey, and none delivereth; for a spoil, and none saith, restore." the very first time he came down to me at brighton, to see if i could give him any help, speaking of all he had seen and heard, his voice suddenly broke, and he bowed his face upon my hands and wept like a child. that one man could suffer as he did over the degradation of this womanhood of ours has always been to me the most hopeful thing i know--a divine earnest of ultimate overcoming. the only thing that seemed in a measure to assuage his anguish was my promise to devote myself to the one work of fighting it and endeavoring to awake the conscience of the nation to some sense of guilt with regard to it. in order to fit me for this work he considered that i ought to know all that he as a medical man knew. he emphatically did not spare me, and often the knowledge that he imparted to me was drowned in a storm of tears. we were to have worked together, but his mind, already unhinged by suffering, ultimately gave way, and, with all that this world could give him--health, fame, wealth, family affection, devoted friends--he died prematurely of a broken heart. for ten years, therefore, after my friend's death i gave up everything for the purpose of carrying on the work he left me, and beat wearily up and down the three kingdoms, holding meetings, organizing practical work, agitating for the greater legal protection of the young, afterwards embodied in two acts--one for removing children from dens of infamy and one known as the criminal law amendment act, which have done much to educate the public sentiment of the country; but always making it my chief object to rouse educated women to face the facts about their own womanhood, and, above all, to rouse mothers to realize the perils of their own boys and to be determined to know enough to enable them to act as their guardians. during those ten years of warfare, passing as i did from family to family, and always concerned with questions that touch upon the innermost shrine of our life, i necessarily became the recipient of many hidden sorrows. in fact, my fellow-creatures used me as a bottomless well into which they could empty their household skeletons; and i used often to reflect with sardonic satisfaction that i should never run dry like other old wells, but that death would come and fill me up with a good wholesome shovelful of earth, and i and my skeletons would lie quiet together. but in this way i gained a knowledge of what is going on under the surface of our life, whether we choose to ignore it or not, which possibly can only come to those who are set apart to be confessors of their kind; and the conclusion was forced upon me that this evil, in one form or another, is more or less everywhere--in our nurseries, in our public, and still more our private, schools, decorously seated on magisterial benches, fouling our places of business, and even sanctimoniously seated in our places of worship. after the first two years of work among women i found that it was absolutely hopeless attacking the evil from one side only, and i had to nerve myself as best i could to address large mass meetings of men, always taking care clearly to define my position--that i had not come upon that platform to help them, but to ask them to help me in a battle that i had found too hard for me, and that i stood before them as a woman pleading for women. the first of these meetings i addressed at the instance of the late revered bishop of durham, dr. lightfoot, who took the chair, and inaugurated the white cross movement, which has since spread over the civilized world. and throughout this most difficult side of my work i had his priceless co-operation and approval; besides the wise counsel, guidance, and unfailing sympathy of one whom but to name is to awake the deepest springs of reverence, dr. wilkinson, then the incumbent of st. peter's, eaton square, afterwards bishop of truro, and now bishop of st. andrews. but so great was the effort that it cost me, that i do not think i could have done this part of my work but for my two favorite mottoes--the one, that "i can't" is a lie in the lips that repeat, "i believe in the holy ghost"; the other, received from the lips of bishop selwyn, that "if as soldiers of the cross we stick at anything, we are disgraced forever." but lastly, and perhaps best of all, as giving weight to any suggestions that i may make, across the dismal mud swamp that i often trod with such an aching heart and faltering steps came to meet me god's best and highest, with outstretched hands of help and encouragement. it was the highly-cultivated and thoughtful women who, amidst the storm of obloquy that beat upon me from every quarter, first ranged themselves by my side, perceiving that the best way to avoid a danger is not to refuse to see it. some were women already in the field in connection with mrs. butler's movement, to which our nation owes so much, some were roused by my words. in all our large towns where i formed associations for the care of friendless girls i was in the habit of reporting my work to the clergy of my own church, whose sympathy and cooperation i shall ever gratefully acknowledge. ultimately, the leading laity, as well as some nonconformist ministers, joined with us; often these conferences were diocesan meetings--to which, however, nonconformists were invited--with the bishop of the diocese in the chair; and after my address free discussion took place, so that i had the advantage of hearing the opinions and judgments of many of our leading men in regard to this difficult problem, and getting at men's views of the question. the matter that i lay before you, therefore, has been thoroughly and repeatedly threshed out at such conferences, as well as in long, earnest, private talks with the wisest and most experienced mothers and teachers of our day; and it is in their name, far more than in my own, that i ask you to ponder what i say. do not, however, be under any fear that i intend in these pages to make myself the medium of all sorts of horrors. i intend to do no such thing. it is but very little evil that you will need to know, and that not in detail, in order to guard your own boys. we women, thank god, have to do with the fountain of sweet waters, clear as crystal, that flow from the throne of god; not with the sewer that flows from the foul imaginations and actions of men. our part is the inculcation of positive purity, not the part of negative warning against vice. nor need you fear that the evil you must know, in order to fulfil your most sacred trust, will sully you. this i say emphatically, that the evil which we have grappled with to save one of our own dear ones does not sully. it is the evil that we read about in novels and newspapers, for our own amusement; it is the evil that we weakly give way to in our lives; above all, it is the destroying evil that we have refused so much as to know of in our absorbing care for our own alabaster skin--it is _that_ evil which defiles the woman. but the evil that we have grappled with in a life and death struggle to save a soul for whom christ died does not sully: it clothes from head to foot with the white robe, it crowns with the golden crown. though i have had to know what, thank god! no other woman may ever again be called upon to know, i can yet speak of the great conflict that involved this knowledge as being the one great purifying, sanctifying influence of my life. but even if, as men would often persuade us, the knowledge of the world's evil would sully us, i know i utter the heart of every woman when i say that we choose the hand that is sullied in saving our own dear ones from the deep mire that might otherwise have swallowed them up, rather than the hand that has kept itself white and pure because it has never been stretched out to save. that hand may be white, but in god's sight it is white with the whiteness of leprosy. believe, rather, the words of james hinton, written to a woman friend: "you women have been living in a dreamland of your own; but dare to live in this poor disordered world of god's, and it will work out in you a better goodness than your own,"--even that purified womanhood, strong to know, and strong to save, before whose gracious loveliness the strongest man grows weak as a child, and, as a little child, grows pure. god grant that, in view of the tremendous responsibilities that devolve upon us women in these latter days, we may cry from our hearts: "let not fine culture, poesy, art, sweet tones, build up about my soothed sense a world that is not thine, and wall me up in dreams. so my sad heart may cease to beat with thine, the great world-heart, whose blood, forever shed, is human life, whose ache is man's dull pain." chapter ii "why should i interfere?" i am, of course, aware that at the very outset i shall be met by the question--far less frequently urged, however, by thoughtful mothers than it used to be--"why need i interfere at all in a subject like this? why may i not leave it all to the boy's father? why should it be my duty to face a question which is very distasteful to me, and which i feel i had much better let alone?" i would answer at once, because the evil is so rife, the dangers so great and manifold, the temptations so strong and subtle, that your influence must be united to that of the boy's father if you want to safeguard him. every influence you can lay hold of is needed here, and will not prove more than enough. the influence of one parent alone is not sufficient, more especially as there are potent lines of influence open to you as a woman from which a man, from the very fact that he is a man, is necessarily debarred. you must bring the whole of that influence to bear for the following considerations. let me take the lowest and simplest first. even if you be indifferent to your boy's moral welfare, you cannot be indifferent to his physical well-being, nay, to his very existence. here i necessarily cannot tell you all i know; but i would ask you thoughtfully to study for yourself a striking diagram which dr. carpenter, in one of our recognized medical text-books, has reproduced from the well-known french statistician, quetelet, showing the comparative viability, or life value, of men and women respectively at different ages. [illustration: diagram representing the comparative viability of the male and female at different ages.] the female line, where it differs from the male, is the dotted line, the greater or less probability or value of life being shown by the greater or less distance of the line of life from the level line at the bottom. infant life being very fragile, the line steadily rises till it reaches its highest point, between thirteen and fourteen. in both cases there is then a rapid fall, the age of puberty being a critical age. but from fifteen, when the female line begins to right itself, only showing by a gentle curve downwards the added risks of the child-bearing period in a woman's life, the male line, which ought, without these risks, to keep above the female line, makes a sharp dip below it, till it reaches its lowest point at twenty-five, the age when the excesses of youth have had time to tell most on the system.[ ] here, at least, is evidence that none can gainsay. the more you ponder that mysterious sharp dip in the man's line of life at the very age which nature intended should be the prime and flower of life, the more deeply you will feel that some deep and hidden danger lies concealed there, the more earnestly you will come to the conclusion that you cannot and will not thrust from you the responsibility that rests upon you as the boy's mother of helping to guard him from it. keep him from the knowledge of evil, and the temptations that come with that knowledge, you cannot. the few first days at school will insure that, to say nothing of the miserable streets of our large towns. as thackeray long ago said in a well-known passage, much animadverted on at the time: "and by the way, ye tender mothers and sober fathers of christian families, a prodigious thing that theory of life is, as orally learnt at a great public school. why! if you could hear those boys of fourteen who blush before their mothers, and sneak off in silence in the presence of their daughters, talking among each other, it would be the woman's turn to blush then. before pen was twelve years old, and while his mother thought him an angel of candour, little pen had heard enough to make him quite awfully wise upon certain points; and so, madam, has your pretty rosy-cheeked son who is coming home from school for the ensuing christmas holidays. i don't say that the boy is lost, or that the innocence has left him which he had 'from heaven, which is our home,' but that the shades of the prison house are closing very fast round him, and that we are helping as much as possible to corrupt him."[ ] but though you cannot keep him from the knowledge of evil, you can be a potent factor in teaching him the hidden dangers that beset him, in seeing that his young feet rest on the rock of true knowledge, and not on the shifting quagmire of the devil's lies; but above all, in inspiring him with a high ideal of conduct, which will make him shrink from everything low and foul as he would from card-sharping or sneaking, proving yourself thus to him as far as in you lies-- "a perfect woman, nobly planned, to warn, to comfort, and command; and yet a spirit still, and bright with something of an angel light." the boy thus mothered is saved as a rule from all physical risk. and this in part anticipates my second point. you cannot let this question alone if you are to aim at the highest for your boy. high character is more to be accounted of than long life. and it is to you, as a woman, that the guarding of the higher springs of his nature is especially entrusted. my whole experience has gone to teach me, with ever-increasing force, that the proposition that purity is vitally necessary for the woman, but of comparatively small account for the man, is absolutely false. granted that, owing to social ostracism, the outward degradation of impurity to the woman is far greater, i contend that a deeper inner debasement is its sure fruition in the man. cruelty and lies are its certain accompaniment. as burns, with a poet's insight, has truly said: "but oh! it hardens a' within, and petrifies the feeling." yes, it is exactly that; "it hardens all within"--hardens and darkens. it is as our lord says: only "the pure in heart" are capable of divine vision. only the man who has kept himself pure, who has never sullied his white faith in womanhood, never profaned the sacred mysteries of life and love, never fouled his manhood in the stye of the beast--it is only that man who can see god, who can see duty where another sees useless sacrifice, who can see and grasp abiding principles in a world of expediency and self-interest, and discern "in temporal policy the eternal will," who can see god in the meanest of his redeemed creatures. it is only the virginal heart that has kept itself pure, that grows not old, but keeps its freshness, its innocent gaiety, its simple pleasures. the eminent swiss professor, aimé humbert, does but echo these words from the sadder side, when, speaking of the moral malady which is the result of impurity, he says: "it does not attack any single organ of the human frame, but it withers all that is human--mind, body, and soul. it strikes our youth at the unhappy moment when they first cross the thresholds of vice. for them the spring has no more innocent freshness; their very friendships are polluted by foul suggestions and memories; they become strangers to all the honorable relations of a pure young life; and thus we see stretching wider and wider around us the circle of this mocking, faded, worn-out, sceptical youth, without poetry and without love, without faith and without joy." too soon and too earnestly we cannot teach our boys that the flaming sword, turning all ways, which guards the tree of life for him, is purity. but thirdly, there are wider issues than the welfare, physical and moral, of our own boys which make it impossible for us to take up any neutral attitude on this question. we cannot remain indifferent to that which affects so deeply both the status and the happiness of women. we cannot accept a standard for men which works out with the certainty of a mathematical law a pariah class of women. we cannot leave on one side the anguish of working-class mothers just because we belong to the protected classes, and it is not our girls that are sacrificed. at least, we women are ceasing to be as base as that, and god forgive us that, from want of thought rather than from want of heart, educated women could be found even to hold that the degradation of their own womanhood is a necessity! take but one instance out of the many that crossed my _via dolorosa_ of the anguish inflicted on the mothers of the poor. i take it, not because it is uncommon, but because it is typical. at one of my mass meetings of working women in the north i was told at its close that a woman wished to speak with me in private. as soon as i could disengage myself from the crowd of mothers who were always eager to shake hands with me, and to bless me with tears in their eyes for taking up their cause, i went down the room, and there, in a dimly-lighted corner of the great hall, i found a respectable-looking woman waiting for me. i sat down by her side, and she poured out the pent-up sorrow of her heart before telling me the one great favor she craved at my hands. she had an only daughter, who at the age of sixteen she had placed out in service, at a carefully-chosen situation. we all know what a difficult age in a girl's life is sixteen; but our girls we can keep under our own watchful care, and their little wilfulnesses and naughtinesses are got over within the four walls of a loving home, and are only the thorns that precede the perfect rose of womanhood. but the poor have to send their girls out into the great wicked world at this age to be bread-winners, often far away from a mother's protecting care. the girl, however, in this case was a good, steady girl, and for a time did well. then something unsettled her, and she left her first place, and got another situation. for a time it seemed all right, when suddenly her letters ceased. the mother wrote again and again, but got no answer. she wrote to her former place; they knew nothing of her. at last she saved up a little money and went to the town where she believed her girl to be. she sought out and found her last address. the family had gone away, and left no address. she made inquiries of the neighbors, of the police. yes, they remembered the girl--a nice-looking girl with a bright color; but no one had seen her lately. it was as if a trap-door had opened and let her through. she had simply disappeared. in all that crowded city her mother could find no trace of her. "it is now thirteen years, ma'am, since i lost her." but all through those thirteen years that poor mother had watched and waited for her. all through those weary years, whenever she read in the local paper of some poor girl's body being found in the river, some poor suicide, who had leapt, "mad from life's history, swift to death's mystery, anywhere, anywhere, out of the world," that poor mother would get into her head it might be her dear girl that was lying there alone and unclaimed; and she would pay her fare--if she could afford it--or if not, trudge the distance on foot, creep, trembling, into the mortuary or the public-house where the body lay, blue from drowning, or with the ugly red gash across the throat, take one look, and then cry with a sigh of relief, "no, it ain't my child," and return again to her watching and waiting. "once, ma'am," she said, "i had a dream. i saw a beautiful place, all bright and shiny, and there were lots of angels singing so sweet, when out of the midst of the glory came my poor girl. she came straight to me, and said, 'oh, mother, don't fret; i'm safe and i'm happy!' and with those words in my ears i awoke. that dream has been a great comfort to me, ma'am; i feel sure god sent it to me. but oh, ma'am," she exclaimed, with a new light of hope in her face, and clasping her hands in silent entreaty, "the thought came into my head whilst you were a-speakin', if you would be so kind as to ask at the end of every one of your meetin's, 'has anyone heard or seen anything of a girl of the name of sarah smith?' as you go all about the country, maybe i might get to hear of her that way." ah me! the pathetic forlornness of the suggestion, the last hope of a broken-hearted mother, that i should go all over the three kingdoms asking my large audiences, "have you seen or heard anything of sarah smith?" and i was dumb. i had not a word of comfort to give her. i had heard the words too often from the lips of outcast girls in answer to my question, "does your mother know where you are?" "oh, no; i couldn't bear that mother should know about me!"--not to know what the fate of that young girl had been. she had been trapped, or drugged, or enticed into that dread under-world into which so many of our working-class girls disappear and are lost. possibly she had been sent out of the country, and was in some foreign den. one's best hope was that she was dead. but picture to yourselves the long-drawn anguish of that mother, with nothing but a dream to comfort her amid the dread realities of life. picture her as only one of thousands and thousands of our working-class mothers on whose poor dumb hearts the same nameless sorrow rests like a gravestone; and i think no woman--no mother, at least--but will agree with me, that this is a matter from which we, as women, cannot stand off. even if we had not the moral and physical welfare of our own boys to consider, we are baptized into this cause by the tears of women, the dumb tears of the poor. but there is one last consideration, exquisitely painful as it is, which i cannot, i dare not, pass over, and which more than any other has aroused the thoughtful women of england and america to face the question and endeavor to grapple, however imperfectly as yet, with the problem. for some strange reason the whole weight of this evil in its last resort comes crushing down on the shoulders of a little child--infant christs of the cross without the crown, "martyrs of the pang, without the palm." the sins of their parents are visited on them from their birth, in scrofula, blindness, consumption. "disease and suffering," in dickens's words, "preside over their birth, rock their wretched cradles, nail down their little coffins, and fill their unknown graves." more than one-half of the inmates of our great ormond street hospital for sick children are sent there by vice. but would to god it were only innocent suffering that is inflicted on the children of our land. alas! alas! when i first began my work, a ward in a large london penitentiary, i found, was set apart for degraded children! or take that one brief appalling statement in the record of ten years of work-- to --issued by a society for the prevention of cruelty to children. in the classification of the various victims it is stated that the society had dealt with pitiable child victims of debauchery! alas for our england, and the debasement which a low moral standard for men has made possible in our midst! and, judging by the absence of proper legal protection and the extraordinarily low age of consent adopted by some of the states of the union, i fear things are not much better in america. one of our sweetest poets, charles tennyson turner, in an exquisite sonnet on a three-year-old child being presented with a toy globe, has portrayed the consecration of a child's innocence, bathing the world itself in its baptismal dew: "she patted all the world; old empires peep'd between her baby fingers; her soft hand was welcome at all frontiers." and when at length they turn "her sweet unlearned eye" "on our own isle," she utters a little joyous cry: "oh yes, i see it! letty's home is there! and while she hid all england with a kiss, bright over europe fell her golden hair." by the side of that exquisite picture of the beatitude of a child's innocence place the picture of that long procession of desecrated children, with no "sweet unlearned eye," but eyes learned in the worst forms of human wickedness and cruelty; and let any woman say, if she can or dare, that this is a subject on which she is not called to have any voice and which she prefers to let alone. surely our womanhood has not become in these last days such a withered and wilted thing that our ears have grown too nice for the cry of these hapless children! as women, we are the natural guardians of the innocence of all children. the divine motherhood that is at the heart of every woman worthy of the name "rises up in wrath" within us and cries: "we _will_ fulfil our trust, not only to our own children, but to the helpless children of the poor." the day is at hand when every mother of boys will silently vow before god to send at least one knight of god into the world to fight an evil before which even a child's innocence is not sacred and which tramples under its swine's feet the weak and the helpless. indeed, when one reflects that this great moral problem touches all the great trusts of our womanhood, the sanctity of the family, the purity of the home, the sacredness of marriage, the sweet innocence of children, it seems like some evil dream that women can ever have asked, "why cannot i leave this matter to men? why should i interfere?" footnotes: [footnote : dr. carpenter does not hesitate to attribute this sharp dip in the male line of life to the indulgence of the passions in youth, and the subsequent rise to marriage and a more regular life.] [footnote : _pendennis_, vol. i., p. .] chapter iii first principles "but what can we do?" will be the next question, uttered perhaps in the forlorn accents of a latent despair. before answering this question in detail, i would endeavor to impress two cardinal points upon you. the first point i want you to recognize, though it may seem to minister to the very hopelessness which most lames and cripples for effective action, is the depth and magnitude of the problem we have to grapple with. all other great social evils, with the possible exception of greed or covetousness, which in scripture is often classed with impurity, may be looked upon as more or less diseases of the extremities. but the evil which we are now considering is no disease of the extremities, but a disease at the very heart of our life, attacking all the great bases on which it rests. it is not only the negation of the sanctity of the family and the destroyer of the purity of the home, as i have already pointed out, but it is also the derider of the sacredness of the individual, the slow but sure disintegrator of the body politic, the dry-rot of nations, before which the mightiest empires have crumbled into dust. the lagoons of venice mirror it in the departed grandeur of her palaces, overthrown by the licentiousness of her merchant princes. the mute sands that silt up the ruins of old empires are eloquent of it. the most brilliant civilization the world has even seen through it became the most transitory. even the vast and massive structure of the roman empire, undermined by moral corruption, vanished before barbarian hordes like the baseless fabric of a dream. to think that we can solve a problem of this depth and magnitude by any mere external means--as so many good and earnest women seem to imagine--by any multiplication of rescue societies, preventive institutions, and other benevolent organizations--is to think that we can plug up a volcano with sticks and straws. the remedy, like the evil, must be from within, and must to a great degree revolutionize our life. my second cardinal point is, that the first step we have to take, the step which must precede all others, if anything is to be of the least avail, must be to restore the moral law and get rid of the double standard. i know well how much has been said and written on this point; it has been insisted on possibly _ad nauseam_. but even now i do not think we fully realize how completely we have been in the grasp of a "tradition of the elders," which has emphatically "made the law of god of none effect." side by side with the ethics of christianity have grown up the bastard ethics of society, widely divergent from the true moral order. man has accepted the obligation of purity so far as it subserves his own selfish interests and enables him to be sure of his own paternity and safeguard the laws of inheritance. the precepts which were primarily addressed to the man, as the very form of the greek words demonstrate, were tacitly transferred to the woman. when, in a standard dictionary of the english language, i look out the word "virtue," which etymologically means "manliness"--the manliness which would scorn to gratify its own selfish passions at the cost of the young, the poor, and the weak, at the cost of a _woman_--i find one of its meanings defined, not as male but as "female chastity." long ago i suggested that as manliness thus goes by default, the word had better be changed from virtue to "muliertue." in a passage in one of our standard school-books, green's _short history of the english people_, the historian, alluding to the coarseness of the early elizabethan drama, remarks that "there were no female actors, and the grossness which startles us in words which fall from a woman's lips took a different color when every woman's part was acted by a boy."[ ] why, in the name of all moral sense, should it be less dreadful that gross and obscene passages should be uttered at a public spectacle by young and unformed boys than by adult women, who at least would have the safeguard of mature knowledge and instincts to teach them their full loathsomeness? do we really think that boys are born less pure than girls? does the mother, when her little son is born, keep the old iron-moulded flannels, the faded basinette, the dirty feeding-bottle for him with the passing comment, "oh, it is only a boy!" is anything too white and fine and pure for his infant limbs, and yet are we to hold that anything is good enough for his childish soul--even, according to mr. green, the grossness of the early elizabethan stage--because he is a boy? but i ask how many readers of that delightful history would so much as notice this passage, and not, on the contrary, quietly accept it without inward note or comment, possessed as we are, often without knowing it, by our monstrous double standard? if we want to see what is the final outcome of this moral code, of this one-sided and distorted ethic, we have only to turn our eyes to france. on the one hand we have "la jeune fille" in her white communion robe, kept so pure and ignorant of all evil, that "une société ecclésiastique," i am told, exists for the emendation of history for her benefit--divine providence, as conducting the affairs of men, being far too coarse for her pure gaze; and at the other end of the stick we find zola, and a literature intended only for the eyes of men, of whose chastity, according to renan, "nature takes no account whatever,"--a literature which fouls with its vile sewage the very wellsprings of our nature, and which, whatever its artistic merit, i make bold to say is a curse to the civilized world. now, i earnestly protest that while we have this social code, which is in direct violation of the moral law, we may set on foot any number of rescue societies, preventive agencies, acts for the legal protection of the young, etc., but all our efforts will be in vain. we are like a man who should endeavor to construct a perfect system of dynamics on the violation of newton's first law of motion. the tacitly accepted necessity for something short of the moral law for men will--again i say it--work out with the certainty of a mathematical law a degraded and outcast class, with its disease, its insanity, its foul contamination of the young, its debasement of manhood, its disintegration of the state, its curse to the community. you cannot dodge the moral law; as professor clifford said, "there are no back-stairs to the universe" by which we can elude the consequences of our wrong, whether of thought or action. if you let in one evil premise by the back-door, be sure sin and death will come out at the front. here, then, you must take a firm and watchful stand. as the mothers of the future generation of men, you must look upon it as your divinely-appointed task to bring back the moral law in its entirety, the one standard equally binding on men and women alike. whatever your creed, you have got to hold fast to this great truth, which life itself forces upon you, and which is a truth of christian ethics because first of all it is a truth of life. it is simply a moral q.e.d., that if chastity is a law for women--and no man would deny that--it is a law for every woman without exception; and if it is a law for every woman, it follows necessarily that it must be for every man, unless we are going to indulge in the moral turpitude of accepting a pariah class of women made up of other women's daughters and other women's sisters--not our own, god forbid that they should be our own!--set apart for the vices of men. but perhaps, looking at our complicated civilization, which, at least in the upper classes, involves, as a rule, the deferring of marriage--looking at the strength of the passions which generations of indulgence have evolved beyond their natural limits, some women will feel constrained to ask, "is this standard a possible one? can men keep their health and strength as celibates? is not my husband right when he says that this is a subject we women can know nothing about, and that here we must bow to the judgment of men?" i answer that a mother must know by what standard she is to educate her boy, and therefore must have the data supplied to her on which to form her own judgment, and be fully persuaded in her own mind what she is to aim at in the training she is to give him; and the mere fact that the current judgment of men involves the sacrifice in body and soul of a large class of our fellow-women lays a paramount obligation upon all women to search for themselves into the truth and scientific accuracy of the premises on which that judgment is based. "can men keep their health and strength as celibates till such time as they have the means to marry?" is the question we have, then, to face. is the standard of the moral law possible to men who have to maintain a high level of physical efficiency in the sharp competition of modern life? primarily, the answer to this question must come from the acknowledged heads of the medical profession. now, i am thankful to say, we have in england a consensus of opinion from the representative men of the faculty that no one can gainsay. sir james paget, acton in his great text-book, sir andrew clark, sir george humphrey, of cambridge, professor millar, of the edinburgh university, sir william gowers, f.r.s., have all answered the above question in the strongest affirmative. "chastity does no harm to body or mind; its discipline is excellent; marriage may safely be waited for," are sir james paget's terse and emphatic words[ ]. still more emphatic are the words of sir william gowers, the great men's specialist, who counts as an authority on the continent as well as here: "the opinions which on grounds falsely called 'physiological' suggest or permit unchastity are terribly prevalent among young men, but they are absolutely false. with all the force of any knowledge i possess, and any authority i have, i assert that this belief is contrary to fact; i assert that no man ever yet was in the slightest degree or way the worse for continence or better for incontinence. from incontinence during unmarried life all are worse morally; a clear majority, are, in the end, worse physically; and in no small number the result is, and ever will be, utter physical shipwreck on one of the many rocks, sharp, jagged-edged, which beset the way, or on one of the banks of festering slime which no care can possibly avoid. they are rocks which tear and rend the unhappy being who is driven against them when he has yielded to the tide of passion, they are banks which exhale a poison for which, no true antidote exists." in face of such testimony as this, well might mr. george russell, in an address to young men, speak of "this exploded lie which has hitherto led so many astray." turning now from knowledge to fact, we have only to look at the french clergy to see that even in the extreme case of life-long celibacy it is not injurious to health. i know, in taking this case, i am grating somewhat harshly against protestant prejudice. but the testimony that renan bears on this point is irrefutable. himself a renegade priest, he certainly would not have hesitated to expose the order to which he had once belonged, and vindicate his broken vows by the revelation of any moral rottenness known within the walls of its seminaries. far from this, he bears the most emphatic testimony in his autobiography that there is enough virtue in st. sulpice alone to convert the world; and owns so strong was the impress made on his own soul by his training as a priest that personally he had lived a pure life, "although," he adds, with an easy shrug of his shoulders, "it is very possible that the libertine has the best of it!" another renegade priest, also eminent in literature, bears exactly the same testimony. indeed, when we remember the argus-eyed hatred with which the french priesthood is watched by the anti-clerical party, and the few scandals that appear in the public prints only too anxious to give publicity to them, this unimpeachable testimony is borne out by fact. i believe this testimony to be equally true of the english and irish roman catholic clergy. yet few would dispute the vigor of the physique of the roman catholic priests, or their capacity for hard and often exhausting work. let me, however, guard myself from misapprehension. that a celibate life, combined with rich feeding, french novels, and low thinking, does produce a great deal of physical harm goes almost without saying. nature, like her lord, requires truth in the inward parts, and takes but small care of outward respectabilities that are but the whitewashed graves of inward foulness. surely lowell is right when he says, "i hold unchastity of mind to be worse than that of body." to live the unmarried life one must, of course, fulfil its conditions of plain living and clean thinking. it is almost with a feeling of shame that i have dwelt at some length on the point we have been considering; but all through my ten years of work the sunken rock on which i was always making shipwreck was the necessity of the evil--often openly avowed by men, but haunting even the minds of women like a shadow--a shadow which gained solidity and substance from a sense of their helpless ignorance. i have even met with christian women who have serenely averred to my face that they have been told, on authority that they could not question, that, were it not for the existence of an outcast class, no respectable woman would be safe and we could not insure the purity of the home! so low had the moral consciousness fallen, through ignorance and thoughtless acceptance of the masculine code, that women calling themselves christians could be found who seemed wholly unconscious of the deep inner debasement of accepting the degradation of other women as a safeguard to our own virtue and of basing the purity of the christian home on the ruined bodies and souls of the children of the poor. truly the dark places of the world within, as well as of the world without, are full of cruelty! what can i do, in the face of such an experience as this, but humbly and earnestly beseech the women of england and america not to play fast and loose with the moral sense within them--- which is god's voice within us--but to hold fast to the moral law, one, equal, and indivisible, for men and women alike; and to know and feel sure that, whatever else is bound up with the nature of man or with an advancing civilization, the hopeless degradation of woman is not that something. it is god who has made us--not we ourselves, with our false codes, false notions, and false necessities; and god has made the man to love the woman and give himself for her, not to degrade her and destroy the very function for which she was made the blessed "mother of all living." only be sure of this: that men will rise to the level of any standard that we set them. for the present standard of what sainte beuve calls "l'homme sensuel moyen," which we have accepted and tacitly endorsed, we women are largely to blame. in my conferences with the clergy and earnest laity held in all our large towns it was always this that men spoke of as the greatest stumbling-block in their way. with the utmost bitterness they would urge that men of known fast life were admitted into society, that women seemed to prefer them rather than not; and it seemed to make no difference to them what kind of life a man led--whether he reverenced their womanhood or not. how could i deny this bitter accusation in the face of facts? all i could urge in extenuation was that i believed it was due rather to the ignorance than to the indifference of women, owing to the whole of this dark side of life having been carefully veiled from their view; but now that this ignorance was passing away, i was only one of hundreds of women who ask nothing better than to lay down their lives in the cause of their own womanhood. only when women learn to respect themselves; only when no woman worthy the name will receive into her own drawing-room in friendly intercourse with her own girls the man who has done his best to make her womanhood a vile and desecrated thing; only when no mother worthy the name will, for the sake of wealth or position,--what is called "a good match,"--give her pure girl to a man on the very common conditions, as things have been, that some other ten or twenty young girls--some poor mothers' daughters--have been degraded and cast aside into the gutter, that she, the twenty-first in this honorable harem, may be held in apparent honor as a wife; only when no woman worthy the name will marry under the conditions portrayed by our great novelist, george eliot,--that of another woman being basely forsaken for her sake--then, and then only, will this reproach that men level at us drop off; then, and then only, shall we be able to save our own sons and bring in a better and purer state of things, enabling them to fight the battle of their life at less tremendous odds; then, and then only, shall we be able to evolve the true manhood, whose attitude is not to defile and destroy, but "to look up and to lift up." footnotes: [footnote : _short history of the english people_, by j.r. green, p. .] [footnote : see a little white cross paper entitled, _medical testimony_.] chapter iv the secret and method there is a simile of herbert spencer's, in his book on sociology, which has often helped me in dealing with great moral problems. he says: "you see that wrought-iron plate is not quite flat; it sticks up a little here towards the left, 'cockles,' as we say. how shall we flatten it? obviously, you reply, by hitting down on the part that is prominent. well, here is a hammer, and i give the plate a blow as you advise. harder, you say. still no effect. another stroke. well, there is one, and another, and another. the prominence remains, you see; the evil is as great as ever, greater, indeed. but this is not all. look at the warp which the plate has got near the opposite edge. where it was flat before it is now curved. a pretty bungle we have made of it! instead of curing the original defect, we have produced a second. had we asked an artisan practised in 'planishing,' as it is called, he would have told us that no good was to be done, but only mischief, by hitting down on the projecting part. he would have taught us how to give variously directed and specially adjusted blows with a hammer elsewhere, so attacking the evil not by direct but by indirect actions. the required process is less simple than you thought. even a sheet of metal is not to be successfully dealt with after those common-sense methods in which you have so much confidence. 'do you think i am easier to be played on than a pipe?' asked hamlet. is humanity more readily straightened than an iron plate?"[ ] now, in our moral "planishing" we need to know where and how to direct our blows, lest in endeavoring to lessen the evil we not only increase the evil itself, but produce other evils almost as great as the one we intended to cure. the mistake that we commit--and this is, i think, especially true of us women--is to rush at our moral problems without giving a moment's thought to their causes, which often lie deep hidden in human nature. our great naturalist, darwin, gave eight years' study to our lowly brother, the barnacle; he gave an almost equal amount of time to the study of the earthworm and its functions, revealing to us, in one of his most charming books, how much of our golden harvest, of our pastures, and our jewelled garden-beds, we owe to this silent and patient laborer. yet we think that we can deal with our higher and more complex human nature without giving it any study at all. we hit down directly on its moral inequalities, without giving a thought to what has caused the imperfection, when constantly, as in the sheet of metal which has to be straightened, the moral disorder has to be met, not directly, but indirectly--not at the point of the disorder itself, but of its often unsuspected cause. purity, like health, like happiness, like so many of the higher aims of our life, has to be attained altruistically. seek them too directly, and they elude our grasp. like the oarsman, we have often to turn our back upon our destination in order to arrive at our end. do not, therefore, think impatiently that i am putting you off with vague theories when you want practical suggestions, if i ask you first to give some patient thought to the causes of the disorder which seems to mark the side of our human nature on which the very existence of the race depends, and which cannot, therefore, be evil in itself. to me the problem presented was almost paralyzing. it seemed as if nature, in her anxiety to secure the continuance of the species, had taken no account whatever of the moral law, but had so overloaded the strength of passion as not only to secure the defeat of the moral law, but even of her own ends, by producing the sterility which results from vicious indulgence. it was not till i met with two wonderful sermons on "the kingdom of god," by that great master of "divine philosophy," dr. james martineau, that i first got a clue to the moral difficulty and to that fuller understanding of our human nature which is so essential to all who have the training and moulding of the young. and, therefore, i ask you to let me enter at some length into this teaching, which will not only give us light for our own guidance, but enable us to grasp the right principles on which we have to act in the moral training of the coming generation.[ ] now, in trying to think out the laws of our own being, we are met at the very outset by the great crux in the moral world: what is the true relation of the material to the spiritual,--of the body, with its instincts and appetites, to the moral personality, with its conscience and will? on the one hand, seeing the fatal proneness of man to obey his appetites and run into terrible excesses, ascetics in all ages and of all creeds have taught that the body itself is evil and the seat of sin; that its instincts must be crushed and its appetites repressed and eradicated; and that it is only so far as you trample your animal nature under foot that you can rise to be a saint. "brute," "blind," "dead," have been the epithets bestowed on matter, which is a ceaseless play of living forces that rest not day nor night. to look down on the material pleasures with suspicion, to fly contact with the rude world and lose one's self in the unembodied splendors of the spiritual, to save souls rather than men and women, to preach abstract doctrines rather than grapple with hideous concrete problems--this has been the tendency of the religious spirit in all ages, a tendency of which positive asceticism, with its mortification of the body, and its ideal of virginity, and marriage regarded as more or less a concession to the flesh, is only an exaggeration. on the other hand, in disgust at the mutilation of human nature and under pretext of its consummation, has arisen the "fleshly school," whose maxim is "obedience to nature,"--leaving undefined what nature, the nature of the swine or the nature of the man,--which holds that every natural instinct ought to be obeyed, which takes the agreeable as the test of the right, and which goes in for the "healthy animal" with enlightened self-interest as the safeguard against excesses. alas! the results are no happier. the healthy animal treads under his feet the helpless and the weak, who suffer that he may grow fat and kick. the attractive warmth and color and richness are found to be but rottenness and decay. when, dissatisfied with the teaching of men, one turns to the great world at large, to see whether some practical instinct may not have guided men to a right adjustment, one's first feeling is one of dismay at the spectacle presented. the bodily instincts and appetites that seem to work aright in the animal world, in man seem fatally overloaded, and, instead of hitting the mark, explode with disaster and death at the outset. let us now turn to the teaching of christ, and see whether it does not explain the deep disorder of the animal instincts in the world of man, and while saving us on the one hand from the self-mutilation of asceticism, and from the swinishness of the fleshly school on the other, whether it does not embrace the truth that is in both and teach us how to correlate the material and the spiritual. now, dr. martineau points out that christ teaches, in contradistinction to asceticism, that the animal body, with its instincts and appetites, is as good on its own plane as the higher and spiritual attributes of man are on theirs. our father knoweth that, in common with other creatures, we have need of physical good, and he has provided us with a self-acting mechanism for its attainment, which will work rightly if only it is left alone and not tampered with. there is the same provision in us as in them of unconscious instincts and appetites for carrying on the lower life which is necessary as the platform of the higher spiritual being, to set it free, as it were, for the pursuit of its legitimate ends--all those higher and wider interests in life which are comprised under the one comprehensive name of "the kingdom of god." and the teaching of christ is: neither hate nor fear this part of your nature with the ascetic, nor pamper and stimulate it with the hedonist, but let it alone to act on its own plane; trust it, trust god who made it, while you throw all your conscious energies into the higher concerns of life; and you will find, when left to its own unconscious activity, it is neither an over-nor an under-provision for carrying on your subsistence and that of the race. "take no anxious thought [(greek: me merimnesete)] for the morrow." "your father knoweth that ye have need of these things," and has arranged your being accordingly. "seek ye first the kingdom of god, and all these things shall be added to you." "behold the birds of the air; your heavenly father feedeth them." "oh," says the practical man at once, "that is all very fine as sentiment; it is very eastern and poetical; but i should like to know how, in these overcrowded days, i could support myself and family if i am to trust god to feed me and them like the birds of the air, and only think about religion." but is not this wholly to misunderstand our lord's teaching? how does god feed the birds of the air? is it not by incessant and untiring effort on their part? those who have watched a pair of birds flying backwards and forwards to the nest under the eave may well question whether industry can go further. but in the unconscious being of a bird it is toil without [greek: merimna], without thought and worry, and becomes, therefore, the very picture to us of trust in a higher power, who has thus adjusted an unerring instinct to an unfailing end. the insect and the bird provide for the morrow, while they take no anxious thought for the morrow. "the agility which achieves it is theirs, the skill and foresight absent from them remain with god. and thus the simple life of lower natures, in its unconscious surrender to involuntary though internal guidance, becomes the negative type of perfect trust."[ ] but to leave his instincts and appetites to work, unimpeded and unconscious, on their own plane, while he concerns himself with matters of truly human interest, is just what man is not content to do. on the contrary, he takes his higher and spiritual nature down into them. he enhances their pleasure with all the powers of his imagination; he sets his intellect to work to plot and plan for their gratification; he loads them with the whole force of his spiritual will, and in so doing he overloads and maddens them. the instinct for food and drink, which in the animal is sufficient for the maintenance of health and activity, in the man becomes gluttony and drunkenness; the instinct for the preservation of the race becomes the licentiousness which produces sterility and defeats its own ends; the instinct of self-maintenance becomes the feverish greed and money-getting which leave no room for the higher life of beauty, and science, and worship, and disinterested service. "seek ye first the material," says the world, "and all these things shall be added unto you when you get the time for them"--which will be probably never. now, then, do we not begin to see why the animal instincts and appetites, which make for order and happiness, and fufil their end in the animal world, lead to such intolerable disorder in the world of man? their laws, like all other laws in the divine economy, are holy and just and good; but man by not observing their conditions makes them work evil and death. do you not see that to be a healthy animal is just what man cannot be except by being a true and high-minded man, all his conscious energies taken up and absorbed on a higher plane, with none left over to filter down into and disorder the animal instincts, which only work aright when left to their own unconscious activity? fix your consciousness long enough on the tip of your little finger, and you will feel a pricking sensation in it. the mind directed intently to any part of the frame will produce a flow of blood there. any physician will tell you that this is one of the greatest difficulties he has to contend with in his patients; the mind being steadily directed to some disordered spot increases the congestion which is the result of disease. unconsciousness, therefore, is the very channel in which our animal nature works healthily and undisturbed according to its own laws. but you are a self-conscious being, and not as the animals. god keeps the keys of their nature in his own hands. they are shut up to certain ends which are in his purpose rather than in their minds. they are locked within limits of their nature, which are absolute, and cannot, therefore, be transgressed. but man, in virtue of his self-consciousness, is emphatically "he who hath the keys, who openeth and no man shutteth, and who shutteth and no man openeth." all the secret recesses of your being lie open to you, and no man can close it to your vision. you can voluntarily shut the door of salvation and hamper the lock, and no man can open. a limit is no absolute limit to you because your very consciousness of the limit involves your consciousness of the beyond which makes it a limit. and therefore to you as a self-knowing existence, with your being necessarily surrendered into your own hands, two faculties have been given as a substitute for the unconscious necessity of an animal nature: first, a self-judging faculty which we call conscience, or a power of discerning between a lower and a higher, and a sense of obligation to the higher which enables you to correlate your faculties and functions in their true order of relative excellence; and secondly, a spiritual will, capable of carrying the decisions of conscience into practical execution and attaining to a necessity of moral law. the true function of man's will is not, therefore, to add itself on to any one of his instincts and give it a disordered strength, but, while throwing its chief conscious energies into the higher interests of life, to rule his instincts and appetites according to those higher interests. this, when the condition of that infinitely complex thing, modern civilized life, interferes, as at times it must do, with the legitimate exercise of his instincts, and his good has to be subordinated to the good of the greater number, may occasionally involve a hard struggle, even when the instincts have been left to their own healthy natural play; but at least it will be all the difference between a struggle with a spirited animal and a maddened and infuriated brute. "but," asks dr. martineau, "if the animal instincts and appetites are to be directed by conscience and ruled by the will in accordance with the dictates of conscience, what becomes of the unconsciousness which is necessary for their right action? its place is gradually supplied by habit, which is the unconsciousness of a self-conscious being." the habit of plain living and spare food, so necessary to high thinking, at first acquired possibly by real effort of will, by real fasting and prayer, becomes a second nature, that sets the will free for higher conquests. the habit of purity, which at first may have resulted only from a sleepless watch of the will in directing the thoughts and imagination into safe channels, becomes an instinctive recoil from the least touch of defilement. the habit of unworldly simplicity, which may have had to be induced by deliberate self-denial, becomes a natural disposition which rejects superfluities from unconscious choice. this is what takes place where direct conflict is necessitated by the constant readjustment of the individual, with his instincts and appetites, to his social environment which so complex a state of society as that of modern civilization involves. but under ordinary circumstances, where the teaching of christ is observed and all the conscious energies of the man are absorbed in seeking first the kingdom of god, there the need of conflict on the lower plane is at least partially done away with. the whole current of thought and will, flowing into higher channels, is drained away from the lower instincts and appetites, which are thus restored to their natural unconsciousness, with only an occasional interference on the part of the will to subordinate them to human ends and aims, or to those demands of a high and complex civilization in the benefits of which we all share, but for whose fuller and richer life we have in some directions to pay, and perhaps at times to pay heavily. the scientific man who in his passionate devotion to the search after truth--the kingdom of god as revealed in the order of the universe--exclaimed testily that he had no time to waste in making money, had no conflict with the instinct of self-subsistence maddened into greed. it worked out a sufficient quotient of bread and cheese to insure the healthy exercise of his brain, and that was enough. the alpine climber, intent on mastering a printless snow-peak, has not to control an appetite sharpened by mountain air from sinking into the gluttony which would be fatal to the cool head and steady foot necessary for his enterprise. the man who has a noble passion for the weak and defenceless, who from the first has cultivated a chivalrous loyalty to women, putting far from him the lowering talk, the cynical expression, the moral lassitude of society, and guarding his high enthusiasm from the blight of worldly commonplace, has no need to fight against the lower instinct that would degrade them or wrong the weak and defenceless. the conflict is there, but it is removed to a nobler and higher battle-field, a battle against the sacrifice of the weak by the strong, whilst in him the lower life may be left to settle itself, as in the unconscious birds of the air. "love god," as st. augustine said, "and do what you will." "be a child of the water, and you may be a child of the wind, blowing where it listeth." "seek the kingdom of god first, and all these things shall be added to you." this, then, is the first great practical lesson that we learn from the study of the laws of our human nature, taken in their widest aspect, under the teaching of the divine master, the "open secret" of overcoming in man and woman alike, that which restores to us our whole nature, and vindicates it, even in the depths of disorder into which it has practically fallen, as originally bearing the divine stamp. the more unconscious we are in the pursuit of physical good, the better for the ends of life; the more conscious we are in the pursuit of moral and spiritual good, the nearer we are to that kingdom of righteousness and peace and joy in the holy ghost which we seek. get out of the narrow individualism or atomism--for let us never forget that individual and atom are the same word--which threatens to dwarf and pulverize us, which keeps within our view only the narrow range of our own interests and defeats their true pursuit by the very intensity of attention it concentrates upon them; and live, as goethe says, "in the beautiful, the good, and the whole," the kingdom of the eternal. have the higher passion that casts out the lower. the physician whose conscious aim is the relief of human suffering and the enforcement of the laws of health, even though a large professional income may be added to him; the lawyer who regards himself as the minister of the just one to uphold the law of right and equity, whose reputation does not rest on his skill in getting off a fraudulent company without costs, and who makes his money not by his "practices," but by his honest practice; the man of science who reverently devotes himself, as the servant of the truth, to "think god's thoughts after him," in the words of kepler's prayer, and establish the kingdom of law and order, in the humbleness of conscious limitation which forbids dogmatizing; the artist who is true to his art and does not subordinate the laws of the eternal loveliness to the shifting laws of the temporary market; the capitalist who looks upon himself as the steward of the public good, and to whom material gain is the means and not the end; the workman who does good work for the kingdom of god's sake, knowing that every stroke of good work is a brick in the palace of the great king, and who scorns to scamp because it pays; and, generally speaking, every man who is so intent on helping and serving others that his thoughts are taken off himself and centred on another--these are the men who are seeking first a kingdom of god, wherein dwelleth righteousness; these are the men who, living in the higher life can rule the lower--the men whose feet are in the lilies, and to whom the floods of earthly passion, even when they beat hardest, end in the flight of a dove and in a triumphal arch of light. now, you will see at once the intensely practical bearing of this teaching on the training of your boys. you are not called to hit down directly on the evil, to give warnings against vice, or to speak on things which your womanhood unspeakably shrinks from mentioning. what you are called to do is to secure, so far as you can, that the mind and soul moves on its own proper plane. it is more an attitude you have to form than a warning you have to give. and here it is that the imperative need of high positive teaching comes in. till parents, and especially mothers, recognize their god-given functions as the moral teachers of their own children, till they cease to shunt off their responsibilities on the professional shoulders of the schoolmaster, we had better frankly give up the whole question in despair. strange and sad it seems to me that at the end of the nineteenth century after the coming of our lord i should have to plead that the moral law is possible under every condition to any man, and that parents are _ipso facto_ the moral teachers of their own children. and yet it is the denial, tacit or explicit, of these two primary truths that has been the greatest obstacle to the progress of my work. but i appeal to you: who but a mother can bring such a constant and potent influence to bear as to secure the mind and character moving on its own higher plane in relation to the whole of this side of our nature? who so well as a mother can teach the sacredness of the body as the temple of the eternal? who else can implant in her son that habitual reverence for womanhood which to a man is "as fountains of sweet water in the bitter sea" of life? who like a mother, as he grows to years of sense and observation, and the curiosity is kindled, which is only a cry for light and teaching, can so answer the cry and so teach as to make the mysteries of life and truth to be for ever associated for him with all the sacred associations of home and his own mother, and not with the talk of the groom or the dirty-minded schoolboy? who so well as a mother, as he passes into dawning manhood, can plead faithfulness to the future wife before marriage as well as after? nay, as i hold by the old spanish proverb "an ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy," who like a mother, by her prayers and ever-present example and influence, can lead him to the highest, and impress upon him that his life is given him for no lower end than, in the words of the westminster confession, "to know god and to glorify him for ever"; and that therefore he is made on a very high plan--as browning puts it, "heaven's consummate cup," whose end is to slake "the master's thirst"; and that the cup from which he drinks must be clean inside as well as out, and studded within and without with the pearl of purity? but refuse to give him this higher teaching and training; go on, as so many mothers have done, blankly ignoring the whole subject, because it is so difficult to speak to one's boys,--as if everything worth having in this life were not difficult!--leave him to the teaching of dirty gossip, of unclean classical allusions in his school-books, of scraps of newspaper intelligence, possibly of bad companions whom he may pick up at school or business, and be sure of it, as this side of his nature is awakened--in his search after gratified curiosity or pleasurable sensation, in utter ignorance of what he is doing, through your fault, not through his--he will use his imagination and his will to strengthen the animal instincts. what ought to have been kept on a higher plane of being will be used to stimulate functions just coming into existence, and pre-eminently needing to be let alone on their own plane to mature quietly and unconsciously. thus dwelt upon and stimulated, these functions become in a measure disordered and a source of miserable temptation and difficulty, even if no actual wrong-doing results. if you only knew what those struggles are, if you only knew what miserable chains are forged in utter helpless ignorance, you would not let any sense of difficulty or shrinking timidity make you refuse to give your boy the higher teaching which would have saved him. it is told of the beautiful countess of dufferin, by her son and biographer, lord dufferin, that when the surgeons were consulting round her bedside which they should save--the mother or the child--she exclaimed, "oh, never mind me; save my baby!" if you knew the facts as i know them, i am quite sure you would exclaim, in the face of any difficulties, any natural shrinking on your part, "oh, never mind me, let me save my boys!" footnotes: [footnote : _the study of sociology_, by herbert spencer (international scientific series), p. , fifth edition, .] [footnote : i quote here at some length from a white cross paper called _per augusta ad augusta_, in which i summarized and applied dr. martineau's teaching, as i do not think i can do it more clearly or in more condensed form. by some mistake it came out, not under my name, but under the initials of the writer of _true manliness_ and several others of the white cross series. i only mention the mistake now to safeguard my own intellectual honesty.] [footnote : _hours of thought_, by dr. martineau, vol. i., p. , third edition.] chapter v early boyhood having now laid down the general principles which we have to recognize in the moral training of the young, let me endeavor to make some practical suggestions how these principles may be carried out, suggestions which, as a matter of fact, i have found to be helpful to educated mothers in the great and responsible task of training the men of the future generation. all i would earnestly ask you to remember is, that in offering these suggestions i am in no way venturing to dictate to you, only endeavoring to place a wide experience at your service. doubtless you will often modify and, in some cases, very possibly reverse my conclusions. all i ask is that you should weigh them thoughtfully and prayerfully and with an open and unprejudiced mind before you finally reject them. let us, therefore, begin with the nursery. it is in the nursery that the roots of the evil we have to contend with are often first planted, and this in more senses than one. in the more obvious sense all experienced mothers know what i mean. but i am quite sure that there are a large number of young wives who become mothers without the smallest knowledge of the dangers to which even infant boys may be exposed. this ignorance is painfully shown by the frequent application for nursemaids from our penitentiaries. at one house where i held a small meeting my young hostess, an intelligent literary woman, came into my room after the household had retired to rest to ask me about some curious actions which she had noticed in her baby boy at night. there could not be a doubt or a question that her nurse was corrupting her little child before that hapless young mother's eyes, and forming in him habits which could only lead to misery hereafter, and only too possibly to idiocy and death; and that young mother was too ignorant to save her own baby boy! indeed, i know of no greater instance of the cruelty of "the conspiracy of silence" than the fact that in all the orthodox medical manuals for young mothers the necessary knowledge is withheld.[ ] but more marvellous still is the fact that women should ever have placidly consented to an ignorance which makes it impossible for them to save even baby boys from a corrupt nursemaid, who by some evil chance may have found her way into their service through a false character or under some other specious disguise, not seeing at once that the so-called delicacy which shrinks from knowing everything that is necessary in order to save is not purity but prurience. i would, therefore, beseech young mothers who are conscious of their own ignorance to see a lady doctor, if they do not like to consult their own family physician, and ask her to tell them plainly what they have to guard against and the best methods to pursue. all i can say here is to beseech every mother to be absolutely careful about the antecedents of her nursemaids, and only to admit those of unblemished character into the precincts of the nursery. never, if possible, let your baby boy sleep with any one but yourself, if through illness or any other cause he cannot sleep in his own little cot. pyjamas, i think, are generally recognized now to be the best form of night gear, as keeping the little limbs warm and covered, when in the restlessness of sleep the child throws off the bedclothes, as well as for other and more vital reasons. if through straitened means you cannot afford an experienced nurse--not that i should altogether allow that even the experienced nurse is to be implicitly and blindly trusted until she has been well tested--then i would entreat you not to let sleepiness or ill health or any other excuse prevent you from being always present at your boy's morning bath. often and often evil habits arise from imperfect washing and consequent irritation; and many a wise mother thinks it best on this account to revert to the old jewish rite of initiation by which cleanliness was secured. teach them from the first self-reverence in touch, as in word and deed, and watch even their attitudes in sleep, that the little arms are folded lightly upwards. even experienced nurses are not always nice in their ways. be vigilantly watchful that the utmost niceness is observed between the boys and girls in the nursery, and that childish modesty is never broken down, but, on the contrary, nurtured and trained. knowledge and watchfulness are the two cherubim with the flaming sword turning all ways to guard the young tree of life and bar the way of every low and creeping thing. if i may venture in some sort to reverse our lord's words, i should say his word to all mothers is, "what i say unto all i say especially unto you, _watch_." but there is another and a deeper sense in which the root of the evil is first planted and nourished in the nursery. if we are to contend with this deadly peril to soul and body, i cannot but feel that we must bring about a radical change in the training of our boys. there must be some radical defect in that training for men to take the attitude they do. i do not mean bad, dissipated men, but men who in all other relations of life would be designated fairly good men. once let such a man be persuaded--however wrongly--that his health, or his prospect of having some day a family of his own, will suffer from delayed marriage and he considers the question settled. he will sacrifice his health to over-smoking, to excess in athletics, to over-eating or champagne drinking, to late hours and overwork; but to sacrifice health or future happiness to save a woman from degradation, bah! it never so much as enters his mind. even so high-minded a writer as mr. lecky, in his _history of european morals_,[ ] deliberately proposes that the difficulty of deferred marriage which advanced civilization necessitates, at least for the upper classes, should be met by temporary unions being permitted with a woman of a lower class. the daughters of workingmen, according to this writer, are good enough as fleshly stop-gaps, to be flung aside when a sufficient income makes the true wife possible--an honorable proceeding indeed! to say nothing of the children of such a temporary union, to whom the father can perform no duty, and leave no inheritance, save the inestimable one of a mother with a tainted name. verily there must be some fault in our training of men! certainly an intelligent american mother put her finger on the blot, so far as we are concerned, when, speaking to me many years ago, she said what struck her so in our english homes was the way in which the girls were subordinated to the boys; the boys seemed first considered, the girls in comparison were nowhere. doubtless our english homes are more at fault here than in america; but, as a mother's pride in her boys is the same all over the world, may not even american homes admit of a little improvement in this respect as well? and, if we choose to bring up our boys to look upon their mothers and sisters as more or less the devoted slaves of their selfishness, can we wonder that they should grow up to look upon all women as more or less the slaves of their needs, fleshly or otherwise? now, what i want all boys taught from their earliest years is, roughly speaking, that boys came into the world to take care of girls. whatever modification may take place in our view of the relation of the sexes, nature's great fact will remain, that the man is the stronger--a difference which civilization and culture seem to strengthen rather than diminish; and from his earliest years he ought to be taught that he, therefore, is the one that has to serve. it is the strong that have to bear the burden of the weaker, and not to prostitute that strength by using it to master the weaker into bearing their loads. it is the man who has to give himself for the woman, not the other way on, as we have made it. nay, this is no theory of mine; it is a truth implanted in the very heart of every true man. "every true man," as milton says, "is born a knight," diligently as we endeavor to stub up this royal root, constantly, as from the very nursery, we endeavor to train it out of him. you may deny the truth and go on some theory of your own in the training of your boys, but the truth cannot deny itself. it is _there_, whether you will have it or not, a root of the tree of life itself. now there is not a day that need pass without opportunities of training your boys in this their true knightly attitude. you can see, as i have already said, that they learn in relation to their own sisters what in after years they have to practise towards all women alike. to give up the comfortable easy-chair, the favorite book or toy, the warmest place by the fire, to the little sister--this ought to become a second nature to a well-trained boy. to carry a parcel for her, to jump up and fetch anything she wants, to give in to her because he is a boy and the stronger--all this ought to be a matter of course. as he grows older you can place him in little positions of responsibility to his sisters, sending them out on an expedition or to a party under his care. in a thousand such ways you can see that your boy is not only born but grows up a knight. i was once in a house where the master always brought up the heavy evening water-cans and morning coal-scuttles for the maids. and if these were placed at the foot of the stairs so as to involve no running in and out of the kitchen, it might be no mean exercise for a boy's muscles. i was told only the other day of a little six-year-old boy whose mother had brought him up from babyhood on these principles. he was playing with his little sister on a bed, when suddenly he perceived that she was getting perilously near the edge which was farthest from the wall. instantly he dismounted and went round to the other side, and, climbing up, pushed her gently into the middle of the bed, remarking sententiously to himself, "i think boys ought always to take the dangerous side of their sisters." ah me! if only you mothers would but train your boys to "take the dangerous side of their sisters," especially of those poor little sisters who are thrust forth at so early an age to earn their own living, alone and unprotected, on the perilous highways of the world, skirted for them by so terrible a precipice, what a different world would it be for us women, what a purer and better world for your sons! surely the womanhood in our homes ought to enable us to bring up our boys in such an habitual attitude of serving a woman, of caring for her, of giving himself for her, that it would become a moral impossibility for him ever to lower or degrade a woman in his after-life. in concluding these suggestions there is one point i must emphasize, the more so as in treating of one particular moral problem it is difficult not to seem to ignore a truth which is simply vital to all moral training. let us clearly recognize that there is no such thing as moral specialism. our moral being, like wordsworth's cloud, "moveth altogether if it move at all." you cannot strengthen one particular virtue except by strengthening the character all round. cardinal newman points out--i think in one of those wonderful oxford sermons of his--that what our ancestors would have called "a bosom sin" will often take an underground course and come to the surface at quite an unexpected point in the character. hidden licentiousness, which one would expect to evince itself in over-ripe sentiment and feeling, manifests itself instead in cruelty and hardness of heart. the little habit of self-indulgence which you in your foolish fondness have allowed in that boy of yours may, in after-life, come out as the very impurity which you have endeavored so earnestly to guard him against. this mystical interdependence and hidden correlation of our moral and intellectual being is a solemn thought, and can only be met by recognizing that the walls of the citadel must be strengthened at all points in order to resist the foe at one. truthfulness, conscientiousness that refuses to scamp work, devotion to duty, temperance in food and drink, rectitude--these things are the bastions of purity of life, as well as of all high character. but in these days i think we have more especially to remember that the beautiful gate of all noble living rests, like the gate of the jewish temple, on two pillars, both of which show signs of being considerably out of repair. one of these pillars is obedience, or discipline. if you have not exacted prompt and unhesitating obedience in your boy, from his earliest childhood, to the parents whom he has seen, do you think that in after years he will obey the father of lights, whom he has not seen? do you think, if you have let him set your authority at defiance, he will in future years, with temptation on one side and opportunity on the other, bow to the invisible authority of conscience? what is it, i ask, that makes the army the finest school for character, giving us our lawrences, our havelocks, our gordons, our kitcheners, but simply this habit of implicit obedience, of that discipline which has grown so grievously lax in so many of our english homes? in carlyle's strong words, "obedience is our universal duty and destiny, wherein whoso will not bend must break: too early and too thoroughly we cannot be trained to know that 'would,' in this world of ours, is as mere zero to 'should,' and for most part as the smallest of fractions even to 'shall.'"[ ] the second great pillar of the portal of noble life seems to me to show still greater signs of being out of repair and in want of restoration, and that pillar is reverence,--that heaven-eyed quality which dr. martineau rightly places at the very top of the ethical scale. let that crumble, and the character which might have been a temple sinks into a mere counting-house. when in these days children are allowed to call their father dick, jack, or tom, and nickname their own mother; when they are allowed to drown the voice of the most honored guest at the table with their little bald chatter, so that even the cross-questioning genius of a socrates would find itself at a discount; when they are allowed to criticise and contradict their elders in a way that would have appalled our grandmothers; when they are suffered to make remarks which are anything but reverent on sacred things--have i not some reason to fear that the one attribute which touches the character to fine issues is threatened with extinction? do you think that the boy who has never been taught to reverence his own mother's womanhood will reverence the degraded womanhood of our streets, or hear that divine voice guarding all suffering manhood and all helpless womanhood from wrong at his hands, "inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto me?" oh, i would entreat you to set yourself firmly against this evil tendency of our day, to which i cannot but believe so much of its agnosticism is due,--that deadening down and stamping out of the spiritual instincts of our nature, those great intuitions of the soul, which lie both above and below all reasoning and logic and form their basis rather than their apex. once let the springs of reverence be choked up, once let that window of the soul be overgrown with weeds and cobwebs, and your most careful training will only produce a character estimable in many respects, but for the most part without noble aspirations, without high ideals, with no great enthusiasms--a character, to use saint beuve's expressive phrase, "tout en façade sur la rue," whose moral judgments are no better than street cries; the type of man that accepts the degradation of women with blank alacrity as a necessity of civilization, and would have it regulated, like any other commodity for the market; that very common type of character which, whatever its good qualities, spreads an atmosphere of blight around it, stunting all upward growing things and flattening down our life to the dead level of desert sands. if you would not be satisfied at your boy rising no higher than this, then, again i say, guard the springs of reverence. do not let your pride in your child's smartness or any momentary sense of humor make you pass over any little speech that savors of irreverence; check it instantly. exact respect for yourself and for the boy's father, the respect which is no enemy, but the reverse, to the uttermost of fondness. insist upon good manners and respectful attention to the guests of your house. do not despise the good old fashion of family prayers because they do not rise to all that we might wish them to be. at least they form a daily recognition of "him in whom the families of the earth are blessed"--a daily recognition which that keen observer of english life, the late american ambassador, mr. bayard, pointed out as one of the great secrets of england's greatness, and which forms a valuable school for habits of reverence and discipline for the children of the family. insist upon the boys being down in time for the worship of god, and do not allow them to get into the habit indulged in by so many young men of "sloping" down with slippered feet long after breakfast is done and prayers are over. only let the springs of reverence well up in your child's soul, and then, and then only, will you be able to give your boy what, after all, must always be the greatest safeguard from shipwreck in this perilous world--religious faith, that stops him at the very threshold of temptation with the words: "how can i do this great wickedness and sin against god?" your very attitude as you kneel by his side with bowed head and folded hands while he says his little evening and morning prayer will breathe into his soul a sense of a divine presence about our bed and about our path. your love--so strong to love, and yet so weak to save--can lead his faltering childish feet to that love which is deeper than our deepest fall, "which knows all, but loves us better than it knows." you can press your child against the very heart of god, and lay him in the everlasting arms, that faint not, neither are weary; and, with the mother of st. augustine, you may know that the child of such prayers and such tears will never perish. "happy he with such a mother! faith in womankind beats with his blood, and trust in all things high comes easy to him, and though he trip and fall he shall not blind his soul with clay." footnotes: [footnote : this is the case with our recognized medical manuals; i do not know whether it is equally true of american manuals.] [footnote : vol. ii. see chapter on "the position of women."] [footnote : _sartor resartus_, by thomas carlyle, book ii., chap, ii., p. . chapman and hall, .] chapter vi boyhood and school life i now come to what must always be the great moral crux in a boy's life, that on which all the higher issues of his character will, in all human probability, turn--his school life. one of our great educators took what, looked at superficially, seemed the somewhat retrograde step of giving up the mastership of a college at oxford to take again the head-mastership of a great public school. but in a conversation i had with him he led me to infer that he had done so from the conviction forced upon him that the whole moral trend of the character must be given, if given at all, prior to university life, at the public school; and to him nothing less than the formation of high moral character seemed worth striving for. fine scholarship and high mathematics are excellent, but after all, as the apostle of culture, matthew arnold, has told us, conduct, and not intellectual attainment, forms seven-tenths of life. now, it is in connection with your boy's school life that you will have your greatest dangers to face, your hardest battle to fight. i am, of course, aware that your school system is in some respects different from ours. you have the mixed day school such as largely obtains in scotland, but which does not exist, at least for the upper classes, in england. you have private boarding-schools, which with us are called preparatory schools, as they form the vestibule to the public school. and you have, lastly, a few large public schools somewhat on the model of eton and harrow. let us begin with the boarding-school. i do not intend for one moment to deny the advantages of our great english public schools. they are excellent for discipline and the formation of strong character, especially for a ruling race like ours; and their very numerical strength and importance command a splendid set of men as masters. but both public and private boarding-schools labor under one great disadvantage: they remove a boy from all family influence and violate the order of our life, which can never be violated with impunity. boys and girls are sent into the world in pretty equal proportions, and we were never intended to pile a lot of boys together without girls and largely without any feminine influence whatever. to do so is to insure moral disorder whether in our schools or yours. to quote from an excellent paper of dr. butler's: "in giving us sisters," says one of the hares in _guesses at truth_, "god gave us the best moral antiseptic," and it is their absence more than anything else that has produced the moral problems which our boarding-schools present. to be absent from sisters for the greater part of the year, at an age when their companionship is perhaps the most eloquent of silent appeals to purity, is undoubtedly one of the greatest evils to be set against the blessings of our public schools.[ ] for my own part, i can only say that the one thing which has filled me at times with the darkness of despair has not been the facts about our back streets, not those facts to meet which we hold conferences and establish penitentiaries, refuges, preventive homes, etc.--i am full of hopefulness about them--but the facts about our public, and still more about our private, schools, which until lately have been met with dead silence and masterly inactivity on the part of english parents. on the part of mothers i feel sure it is ignorance, not indifference: if they knew what i know, it simply could not be the latter. even now, when some, at least, of their ignorance has been dispelled, i doubt whether they realize the depth of moral corruption which is to be found in our public and private schools; the existence of heathen vices which by the law of our land are treated as felony, and which we would fain hope, after nineteen centuries of christianity, might now be relegated to the first chapter of romans. they do not realize the presence of other and commoner forms of impurity, the self-defilement which taints the moral nature and stimulates the lower nature into unhealthy and abnormal activity. they do not understand the essentially sporadic nature of the evil--that it may exist "as a pestilence that walketh in darkness" in one boarding-school, while another, owing to the influence of a good set of boys, is comparatively free from it; and they will, therefore, take a single denial of its existence, possibly from their own husbands, as conclusive. even the affirmations of head-masters are not altogether to be trusted here, as mothers cannot betray the confidence of their own boys, and often fail in gaining their consent to let the head-master know what is going on, in the boy's natural dread of being found out as the source of the information and, according to the ruling code, cut, as having "peached." once i obtained leave to expose an indescribable state of things which was going on in broad daylight in an unsupervised room at one of our great public schools, utterly unsuspected by the head-master, and his subordinate, the house-master. but another case which for long made my life a kind of waking nightmare remained unexposed to the last. speaking of those commoner forms of impurity to which i have referred, and which are so mischievous as stimulating immature functions, needing, as acton over and over again insists, absolute quiet and rest for healthy development, dr. dukes, the head physician of one of our best known public schools, states: "the reason why it is so widespread an evil"--computed in at eighty per cent. of boys at school, a computation accepted by a committee of public schoolmasters--"i believe to be, that the boy leaves home in the first instance without one word of warning from his parents that he will meet with bad boys who will tell him that everybody does it, and thus he falls into evil ways from his innocence and ignorance alone."[ ] dr. dukes further states that as the results of his thirty years' experience he had come to the conclusion that only one per cent. of parents ever warned their boys at all before sending them to school. these statements were made some fifteen years ago, when first the conspiracy of silence was broken through and the question of the morality of our public and private schools was dragged into the light of day and boldly faced and grappled with, largely owing to the action of dr. pusey. since then a mass of strenuous effort has been directed against the evil by our high-minded head-masters; and an immense improvement has been effected. it is too short a time for one to hope that the evil has been eradicated; but when parents learn to fulfil their moral duties of teaching and warning their own boys--as dr. dukes observes--i feel sure it could be so far removed as to cause the numbers to change places, so that we might obtain a percentage of ninety to ninety-five of those who lead pure lives while at school, as against five per cent, who are impure, reversing the lamentable ratio that now exists. but here again there has been progress, and i feel sure that the percentage of parents who do warn and teach their sons before sending them to school is now incomparably higher than dr. dukes's "one per cent." and is steadily rising. as to other deeper and nameless evils, they have been already reduced to a minimum, and if fathers could only be persuaded to do their duty by their own boys, they might be made wholly to disappear. i give you these facts about our english schools, that parents may see for themselves what are the consequences of refusing both teaching and warning to their boys, under the delusion that god's lilies will grow up in the weedy garden of the human heart without strenuous culture and training. do not, therefore, i beseech you, take for granted that your boarding-schools are entirely free from such evils. you have the same conditions that we have. till lately your boys have been as untaught and unwarned as ours. in your boarding-schools, as in ours, they are removed from the purifying influence of mother and sisters. they are just at the age which has neither the delicacy of childhood nor of early manhood. rest assured that conditions will breed like results. "my belief, not lightly formed," says dr. butler,[ ] "is, that none of the great schools can congratulate themselves on anything like safety from this danger. and if this is true of the great public schools, it is still more true of private schools, where the evil is admittedly greater. boys and masters alike may strangely deceive themselves; the evil may hide very close. many a boy has been known to assert positively and honestly that nothing of the kind was ever heard of in his time, and that any fellow suspected of it would have been cut, and half killed, when all the time the evil was actively at work even among the circle of his intimate friends." and yet it is this evil, so pervasive in its influence, so certain to taint the fresh springs of young life with impure knowledge, if not to foul them with unclean acts, that parents still too often elect to ignore. the boy, full of eager curiosity, anxious, above all things, to catch up the ways of the other fellows, afraid, above all things, of being laughed at for his innocence, and elated at being taken up by one of the swells in the shape of an elder boy, and at first set-off wholly ignorant of the motive; exposed to suggestions about the functions of his own body which he has not the knowledge to rebut as the devil's lies--what wonder is it that so many boys, originally good and pure, fall victims? "they blunder like blind puppies into sin," a medical man who has had much to do with boys' schools exclaimed to me in the bitterness of his soul. the small house of the young boy's soul, full of the song of birds, the fresh babble of the voices of sisters, all the innocent sights and sounds of an english or american home, swept and garnished till now by such loving hands, but left empty, unguarded, and unwatched, for the unclean spirit to lift the latch and enter in and take possession--the pity of it! oh, the pity of it! what can the boy think? to quote dr. dukes again: "he will say to himself: 'my father knows of all this vice at schools, and yet has not said one word to me about it. he has warned me about most things. he told me to be truthful, to keep my temper, to be upright and manly, to say my prayers; he pressed me never to get into debt, never to drink, and never to use bad language; and he told me i ought to change my boots and clothes when wet, so as not to get ill; and yet he has not said one syllable about this. my father is a good man and loves me, and if he wanted me not to do this he would surely have told me; it can't be very wrong, else i am sure he would have protected me and told me all about it." i remember a friend of mine, who had been greatly stirred on the whole subject, endeavoring, with tears in her eyes, to persuade a father to warn his boy before sending him to his first public school, and on his absolutely refusing to do any such thing, she said to him, "at least promise me that you will give him this book," placing in his hands mr. george everett's excellent little book, _your innings_. this he consented to do. the next morning my friend met him at breakfast, the boy having been already despatched by an early train. "well," he said, "i sat up till past twelve last night reading your book; it is excellent, and i gave it to my lad before starting him off. but there is just one chapter in it, called a 'strange companion,' which i took the precaution of previously cutting out with my penknife; and my boy in his after years will thank me for not putting any such ideas in his head, but having kept him the pure and innocent lad that he is." i need not say that it was the one chapter that would have put the boy on his guard. oh, befooled and purblind father! i happened to know that the school to which the boy was sent was swept at that time by a moral epidemic, and before that hapless lad had been a week in its corrupt atmosphere he would have had ideas put into his head with a vengeance. his father had handed over the ground of his boy's heart for the devil to sow the first crop, and as a rule the devil sows, not wild oats, as we say, but acorns--a dread sowing which it may take years to root up and to extirpate, even if, so far as after-taint is concerned, it can ever be wholly extirpated. in another case a widowed mother came to one of my meetings, and was profoundly alarmed at what i said about the dangers of our schoolboys. it had never occurred to her that her gentlemanly little lad of twelve could have any temptations of the kind. unlike the father i have mentioned, she resolved to speak to him that same evening. she found that he was fighting a battle against the whole school, standing up alone for the right, guided by some blind instinct of purity to resist the foul suggestions which were inflicted upon him, threatening him with the most terrible consequences in after-life if he did not yield and do as the other boys did. think of it, ye mothers! a child of twelve without a hand to guide him, without a voice to cheer him, refused the knowledge that would have saved him from his deadly peril, his own mother deaf and dumb and blind to his struggles, leaving him to fight his little forlorn hope absolutely alone. i need scarcely say how thankfully he poured forth his sore heart to his mother when once she had opened the door, till now kept locked by her own ignorance; and how she was able to explain to him that, far from reaping any evil consequences from doing what is right, like sir galahad, "his strength would be the strength of ten" if he kept himself pure. she probably took steps to remove him from so corrupt an atmosphere as prevailed in that preparatory school, but of this i do not know. but here let me guard myself from being misunderstood. i am not making out that every schoolboy is exposed to these temptations; there are boys so exceptionally endowed that they seem to spread a pure atmosphere around them which is respected by even the coarsest and loosest boys in the school. all i do maintain, with dr. butler, is that no school is safe from this danger, that at any time it may prove an active one in your boy's life, and that at the very least you have to guard him from impure knowledge being thrust upon him before nature has developed the instincts of manhood by which she guards her inner shrine. and now i come to the question of day schools. as i have already said, i cannot feel but they are more consonant with the order of our life as giving the discipline and competition of numbers without removing the boy from family life, nor do they lend themselves to some of the graver evils of our boarding-schools. but, alas! in themselves they form no panacea for the evils we are contemplating. on the contrary, i am told on authority i cannot question that in some places this plague spot is rife among them. in one case the evil had struck so wide and deep that the school had to be temporarily closed. here, again, the same lesson is emphasized, viz.: that whatever is the form of the school, however excellent the teacher, there is no substitute in the moral life for the home teaching and training of mothers and fathers. no mother can read these statements unmoved--statements, remember, not my own, but made by men of the deepest and widest experience, and which, therefore, you are bound to weigh, ponder, and carefully consider. i know that straight from your heart again comes the cry, "what can i do?" i am inclined to answer this cry in one word, "everything,"--with god's help. i and now let us enter into practical details. we will begin with the outworks, and work our way inwards to the shrine. first, as to the all-important choice of a school, should the boy's father decide, for reasons in which you concur to send him to a boarding-school. as to how to ascertain the real state of a school there is, of course, considerable difficulty. i have always found the best way is through mothers who have gained the confidence of their boys and who know through them what really goes on. in this way, as mothers wake up to the danger their boys run and to their own responsibility in guarding them, we shall be able to help one another more and more. but make a point of yourself, as well as the boy's father, personally seeing the master to whom you think of entrusting your lad, and talking over the matter with him. in this way you will not only satisfy yourself, but you will strengthen his hands by making him feel how vital the whole question is to your heart. what more than anything else weakens the high-minded men who have the tuition of the young is the utter unconcern that is evinced by the parents and the sense that, by the payment of a sum of money down, they can compound with a master for the performance of their inalienable duty of undertaking the moral education of their own children. here let me give you two most earnest cautions. do not attach too much importance to mere mechanical arrangements as moral safeguards. one of our most successful head-masters says: "i would most seriously warn any parent anxious about the choice of a school not to attach much weight to the apparent excellence of arrangements. some of the worst schools have these arrangements in the highest perfection. they cannot afford to have them otherwise. neat cubicles and spotless dimity have beguiled an uninterrupted sequence of mammas, and have kept alive, and even flourishing, schools which are in a thoroughly bad moral state and are hopelessly inefficient in every particular. of course, many a parent feels that he ought to judge for himself, and these mechanical arrangements are too often the only material on which he can form his judgment. let me assure him that they are entirely untrustworthy." secondly, do not think to find safety in the choice of a so-called "religious" school, even though it reflect the exact shade of your own religious opinions. the worst evils i ever knew went on in a school where the boys implicated held a weekly prayer-meeting! we must boldly face the fact that there is some mysterious connection between the religious emotions and the lower animal nature; and the religious forcing-house, of whatever school of theology, will always be liable to prove a hot-bed of impurity. choose a school with a high moral tone, with religion as an underlying principle--a practical religion, that inculcates duty rather than fosters emotion, and embodies the wise proverb of solomon, "in all labor there is profit, but the talk of the lips tendeth to penury." only let me beseech you to use your whole influence not to have your boy sent away at too early an age. do you really think that the exclusive society of little boys, with their childish chatter, their foolish little codes, their crude and often ridiculously false notions of life, and their small curiosities, naturally inquisitive, but not always clean in the researches they inspire, and _always_ false in their results, is morally better for your child than, in dr. butler's words, "the refining and purifying atmosphere of home, with the tenderness of a mother, the grace and playfulness of sisters, the love and loyalty of the family nurse, and lastly--scarcely to be distinguished in its effects from these influences--the sweetness, the simplicity, the flower-picking, the pony-patting of happy, frolicsome younger brothers or sisters in the garden, the paddock, or stable?" if the boy has got out of hand, i ask, whose fault is that? and is it fair to the child that your fault should be remedied by sending him away from all that is best and most purifying in child life? i would plead earnestly that eleven or twelve is old enough for the private school, and that a boy should not be sent to a public school before fourteen. in this i think most of our english head-masters would agree with me. till this age, a day school or a tutor should be had recourse to, and when the time comes for sending him off to school, at least we can refuse to place the boy anywhere, either at a private or public school, where there is not some woman to mother and look after the boys and exert a good womanly influence over them. a head-master keenly alive to moral dangers, with a capable wife ready to use her womanly influence in aiding and abetting his efforts, i have found the best possible combination. but if it is decided that the boys are to be brought up at the day school, your range of choice will probably be very small. you will have to look wholly to your home influence and teaching to counteract any evil influence they may encounter in their school life. but as your boys will never be separated from you, what may not that home influence and teaching, with knowledge and forewarning to direct it,--what may it not accomplish? ii let us, then, think out the best ways in which you can warn and guard your boy and fulfil your responsibility of being his moral teacher. let us begin with the simplest measure which you can take, and which can present no difficulty to anyone. before sending your boy to school get him quietly by himself and say to him some such words as these: "my boy, you know, or will come to know, that when boys get together they often talk of nasty things, and even do nasty things. give me your word of honor as a christian and a gentleman that you will never say or do anything that you know you would be ashamed to tell me, that you know would bring a blush to your sister's cheeks. always remember that dirty talk, and still more dirty deeds, are only fit for cads. promise me faithfully that you will never let any boy, especially an elder boy, tell you 'secrets.' if you were to consent through curiosity, or because you feel flattered at one of the elder fellows taking you up, be sure he means you no good. whatever you want to know ask me, and so far as i can i will tell you." some such words as these said solemnly to a boy the day before he leaves home for the first time, either for a boarding-school, or even a day school, will make your womanhood a sort of external conscience to your boy, to guard him from those first beginnings of impurity, in the shape of what are technically called "secrets," which lead on to all the rest. i know one mother who, from her boy's earliest years, has made a solemn pact with him, on the one hand, if he would promise never to ask any questions about life and birth of anyone but her, she, in her turn, would promise to tell him all he wanted to know; and from first to last there has been that perfect confidence and friendship between mother and son which is, and ever must be, a boy's greatest safeguard. only remember that with young boys men who have had the greatest experience are generally agreed that it is better not to put the stress on religious motives. practically, for a young boy, it is better to treat the whole thing as dirty, nasty, and blackguardly. and the whole subject must always be spoken of with reserve, without any emotion, and with much "dry light." with most lads i should go a step further; i should give the boy one of the white cross papers, "a strange companion."[ ] it is impossible to lay down hard and fast rules; it is impossible to make so many jam-pots of even young humanity, to be tied up and labelled and arranged upon the same shelf. each individuality has to be dealt with in all its mysterious idiosyncrasy. one boy may be so reserved that it is better to write to him than to talk face to face; another may find the greatest possible strength and comfort in freedom of speech and the feeling that there is no barrier between him and his mother with regard to being able to tell her freely of any temptations that may assail him. your mother's instincts will be your best guide as to what method to adopt with each of your boys. if the father of the lad can be induced, at any rate before he enters a boarding-school, to follow the advice of that remarkable man, mr. thring, the founder of uppingham school, in his address to our church congress, and write a letter of plain warning and counsel to the lad, it would be an unspeakable help. "my first statement," says mr. thring, "is that all fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. it is not difficult, if done in a common-sense way."[ ] but now i come to what on all hands we must allow to be a point of extreme difficulty. i think all head-masters, deeply concerned in the moral welfare of the boys under their charge, would emphatically endorse the following words of dr. butler's: "it is certain, it must needs be, that boys should, at an early period of their boyhood, come to hear of the nature of sexual relations. from whom should they first learn it? should it be with every accompaniment of coarseness, of levity, of obscenity? from some ribald groom in the stables? from some impure maidservant who has stolen into the household and the nursery? from some brother only a year or two older, who has just received his first initiation in impurity at a private school and is too young to understand its danger? worst of all, from the idlest, and most corrupt, and most worthless set of boys at this same private school, who surround the newcomer within a few days, perhaps a few hours, of his first joining, and, with knowing looks and enticing words, try to probe his childish knowledge, and leave him half-ashamed of himself and keenly inquisitive for full initiation, if he finds that he knows nothing of this engrossing mystery? is it right, is it fair, is it consistent with religious duty or with common-sense, that a little boy of eight, or ten, or twelve, should be sent at this impressionable age to hear for the first time of facts of human nature which must ere long be known, and are part of god's appointment? does not every dictate of humanity and of reason point to the conclusion that the dawn of this knowledge should be invested with all that is tender, and loving, and pure, and sacred, instead of being shrouded in the mists of innuendo or blazoned forth in the shamelessness of bestiality? there is really no answer but one to such a question, and the plain truth is that fathers, perhaps still more mothers, must recognize the duty which lies upon them to teach their children, at such times, in such words, and with such reservations as the character of each child may suggest, the elements at least of that knowledge which will otherwise be learnt but a very little later from a widely different set of instructors. i lay down the principle as admitting of no exception--i do not anticipate even one dissentient voice from any who now hear me--_that no boy ought ever to be allowed to go to school without learning from his father or his mother, or from some brother or tried friend considerably older than himself the simple facts as to the laws of birth and the terrible danger of ever coming to talk of these phenomena as matters of frivolous and filthy conversation_." i can only beseech you to give due weight to these words of one who had many years' experience of a large public school. over and over again, at all my meetings of educated mothers, i have reiterated his question in similar words, "is it right, is it fair, that your boy should learn the sacred mysteries of life and birth from the sources which dr. butler enumerates, and to which you abandon him, if you refuse to speak; sources of unclean and lying information by which i have no hesitation in saying that the mind and conscience of many men are more or less permanently defiled, even when the life has been kept outwardly pure?" can you hesitate for one moment to allow that the springs of the life which you will be the first to acknowledge comes from god should well up from a pure source, till, like wordsworth's stream-- "crowned with flowers, the mountain infant to the sun laughs forth," and that the whole subject should be so bound up in the boy's mind with his father's love for his mother, his mother's love for his father, with his own existence, and that of his sisters, that he would shrink with utter loathing from the filthy so-called "secrets" that are bandied about among schoolboys? i know that the task of conveying this knowledge presents many difficulties, but again i ask, "what is there in our life that is worth doing which is not difficult?" long ago the definition of a difficulty to me has become "a thing to be overcome." it is not in sitting down helplessly before a difficulty that the way will open. with us, as with the israelites on the brink of that raging midnight sea, it is in a brave obedience to the divine command, "go forward!" that the path opens through the trackless sea, and we find that the great waters that seem ready to overwhelm us are in reality a baptism into new life. iii again i seem almost to hear the cry of your heart, "i know i ought to speak to my boy, but how am i to do it?" now, it is here that i earnestly desire to give you, if i possibly can, some helpful, practical suggestions, for i feel that it is not in the recognition of a duty, but in its performance, that the difficulty lies which is arresting so many educated mothers at the present time. with very young children, whether girls or boys, there should be no difficulty whatever. they are too young to understand. only, when they come to you asking their innocent little questions as to where the little baby brother or sister comes from, i would earnestly ask you never to allow yourself, or your nurse, to inflict on them the usual popular fables, that the baby was brought by the doctor or that it was found under the gooseberry-bush. a child is far quicker than we think to detect that mother is hiding something, and the first tiny seed of evil curiosity is sown. make no mystery about it; look your child full in the face, and say, "my child, you have asked me a question about what is very, very sacred. if i were to try to explain it to you, you would not be old enough to understand; for the present you must be content to know that the baby comes from god; how it comes mother will tell you when you grow old enough to understand; only promise me that you will never ask any one but mother about it." the child will then see that you are hiding nothing, and will be satisfied to wait for the explanation that mother has promised. but what when the child is old enough to understand?--an age which doubtless varies in different children, but which with boys must come before their first school, if you are to occupy the ground of his heart with good seed, which leaves no room for the devil's sowing. well, with regard to the facts of birth, i do not think we ought to find much difficulty. you can point out how the baby seed has a soft, downy place provided for it in the pod of the parent plant till it has ripened and is fit to be sown, when the pod opens and lets it fall to the earth, and it becomes a plant in its turn. you can point out that the egg in a similar way is carried in the mother bird's body till the shell has hardened and is fit to be laid, when she warms it with her own breast, patiently sitting on it for days, while the father bird feeds her, till the little chick is strong enough to break the walls of its tiny house, and come forth and peck and fend for itself. you can explain how the little kitten the child plays with has in the same way a safe place provided for it in the mother's body, where it grows and grows till all its organs are formed, and it can breathe and suck, when, like the seed from the pod, and the chick from the egg it leaves the mother's body, and is born, a blind and helpless baby kitten, to be fed and tenderly cared for by the mother cat. you will explain that the baby comes in just the same way so far as its infant body is concerned, growing like the kitten from a tiny cell--borne by the mother till all the organs are formed which it needs for its earthly life, when it also is born and laid in its mother's arms, to be nourished and cared for by the love of both father and mother, not for a few weeks, as with animals, but through long years of helplessness. and you mean to tell me that the sacred truth would not endear you to your child far more than the usual cock-and-bull story about the doctor and the gooseberry-bush? a friend of mine has three boys of widely opposite character and temperament. owing to circumstances, the eldest lad had to be sent to school at an early age. young as he was, she resolved to follow dr. butler's advice and tell him the facts of birth in the way i have suggested. on realizing the truth, the boy flung his arms round her neck and burst into tears. but though she felt that she had done right, she was not wholly without misgivings that she might have introduced some objectionable talk into her nursery. when the time came to send the second lad to school, she repeated the talk that she had had with his elder brother. but to her surprise she found him in total ignorance of the facts: his elder brother had never confided them to him. and so again with the third boy. evidently the boys had considered it too sacred a thing to talk about--how much too sacred, then, to allow of their joining in with the unclean gossip of schoolboys! its only result was to give them an added tenderness for their mother, and to make them resent all such unclean talk as so much mud flung at her. so far, so good. but we all of us realize that it is not the facts of birth, but the facts of the origination of life, that form the perennial source of obscene talk, and often of obscene action, among boys; and it is in explaining these, without violating those instincts of reserve and modesty with which nature herself surrounds the whole subject, that what often seems an insuperable difficulty arises. yet these functions are, and must be, the very shrine of a body which is a temple of the lord and giver of life; and on the face of things, therefore, there must be some method of conveying pure knowledge to the opening mind with regard to them. the difficulty must be with ourselves, and not in the very nature of things themselves. has it not been created in a great measure by a wrong method? we begin with human life instead of ending with it; we isolate it from a great system to which it belongs, and treat what is "the roof and crown of things" as a roof that tops no fair edifice, and is therefore anomalous; as a crown that rests on a head which has been severed from its body, and is therefore unmeaning. we obstinately refuse to live--to quote goethe's words again--not only "in the beautiful and the good," but also "in the whole," which is equally necessary for a well-ordered life. what it seems to me we need is to teach the facts of life-giving, or, in other words, of sex, as a great, wide, open-air law, running right through animated creation, an ever-ascending progression forming a golden ladder leading up to man. in explaining the facts of reproduction, i would therefore suggest that you should begin with the lowest rung of the ladder, the simplest organisms, such as the amoeba or the volvox. i should show how these multiply by fission, the creature dividing into two, when it is impossible to tell which is the father and which is the mother. i would then pass upwards to more complex organisms, where two individuals are required to form the offspring. you could explain the whole process by the method of fertilization in plants, as urged in an excellent paper by a lady doctor, published in the _parents' review_.[ ] let me quote her words: "the child can learn the difference of the names, color, and forms of flowers as soon as it can learn anything. the next step would be to simple lessons in the different parts of a plant--the vegetative organs of roots, stem, leaves, passing on to the reproductive organs in the flower--calyx, corolla, stamen, and pistil. let the child be taught to notice that all flowers have not quite the same organs, some bearing stamens only, which shed the powdery pollen and are the male, or little father flowers; while others have the pistil only, furnished with the stigma to catch the pollen, and are the females, or little mothers; that the one sort of flowers is necessary to the other in producing the little seed or baby plant." let us take a primrose. here the mother and father elements are found in the same flower. at the base of the flower, packed in a delicate casket, which is called the ovary, lie a number of small white objects no larger than butterfly-eggs. these are the eggs or ova of the primrose. into this casket, by a secret opening, filmy tubes thrown out by the pollen grains--now enticed from their hiding-place on the stamens and clustered on the stigma--enter and pour a fertilizing fluid, called "spermatozoa," through a microscopic gateway, which opens in the wall of the egg and leads to its inmost heart. the ovule, or future seed, is now fertilized and capable of producing a future primrose. covered with many protecting coats, it becomes a perfect seed. the original casket swells, hardens, is transformed into a rounded capsule or seed-vessel, opening by valves or a deftly constructed hinge. one day this seed-vessel, crowded with seeds, breaks open and completes the cycle of reproduction by dispersing them over the ground, where they sow themselves, and grow and become primrose plants in their turn, starring the grass with their lovely blossoms.[ ] sometimes the male and female elements grow upon different plants, as in the catkins children are so fond of gathering in the spring. "more than two thousand years ago herodotus observed a remarkable custom in egypt. at a certain season of the year the egyptians went into the desert, cut off branches from the wild palms, and bringing them back to their gardens, waved them over the flowers of the date-palm. why they performed this ceremony they did not know; but they knew that if they neglected it the date-crop would be poor or wholly lost. but the true reason is now explained. palm-trees, like human beings, are male and female. the garden plants, the date bearers, were females, the desert plants were males; and the waving of the branches over the females meant the transference of the pollen dust from the one to the other."[ ] from these two elements, the spermatozoa, or male element, and the ova, or female element, all life, except in the lowest organisms, is produced. you could point out how it is by this marvellous process of reproduction, not only that the world is made green and beautiful, but all animal life is fed. corn and rice, which are only fertilized seeds, form the staple food of a large proportion of mankind; while even the animal in order to live has first to be nourished on corn or grass before it can become meat for man. you could go on further to illustrate the facts of reproduction by bees and ants, so familiar to children, where the drone or male bee, or the male ant, in just the same way as in the plant, fertilizes the eggs of the queen bee or ant by bringing the spermatozoa into contact with the unfertilized egg in the insect's body, when the eggs thus fertilized are laid and carefully nurtured by the working bee or ant. all children have observed the little neuter,[ ] or working ant, carrying in its mandibles an egg almost as large as itself with an air of extreme hurry and absorption, to lay it in the sun till the warmth hatches it into a baby ant. if it were further pointed out that not the male, but the female, as the mother of the species, is nature's chief care; that among ants the male is sent into the world so imperfectly endowed that he cannot even feed himself, but is fed by his female relations, and that as soon as he has performed his function of fertilizing the queen ant, nature apparently dismisses him with contemptuous starvation; or--to take the case of the drone or male bee--he is stung to death by the workers, it might help to modify the preposterous pretensions of the male, especially of the boy, in higher circles. you could then pass upwards through fish with the soft and hard roe, or male and female elements which are familiar to children, and through frogs with their spawn to birds. here comes in an upward step indeed. "a world that only cared for eggs becomes," as professor drummond observes in his _ascent of man,_ "a world that cares for its young." the first faint trembling dawn, or at least shadowing forth, of a moral life, in the care of the strong for the weak, makes itself seen, which henceforth becomes as pervasive an element in nature as the fierce struggle for existence in which the weak are destroyed by the strong.[ ] in the bird--till now "the free queen of the air," living at her own wild will, suddenly fettered and brooding on her nest, and covering her helpless young with her tender wings--we see some faint image of the divine tenderness. in the ceaseless toil of both the parent birds from morning till night to fill the little gaping throats we begin to feel the duty of the strong to serve and protect the weak; and in the little hen partridge, still clinging to her nest, when the flash of the scythe is drawing nearer and nearer, till reapers have told me they have feared the next sweep of the scythe might cut off her head, we see more than a shadow of that mother's love which is stronger than death. and when we pass lastly to the highest order of animals, the mammalia, we find them named after the mother's function of giving suck to her young from her own breast. they are no longer matured in an external egg, but are borne in her own body till they are able to breathe, and seek their nourishment from her, and then they are born so helpless that, as with kittens and puppies, they often cannot even see. in this higher order of animals nothing can exceed the devotion of the mother to her young in their helpless infancy. the fierce bear will recklessly expose her shaggy breast to the hunter in their defence. here, too, we find, as the duke of argyle points out in his book on _the unity of nature_, "that the equality of the sexes, as regards all the enjoyments as well as the work of life, is the universal rule; and among those of them in which the social instincts have been especially implanted, and whose systems of polity are like the most civilized polities of men, the females of the race are treated with a strange mixture of love, loyalty, and devotion." "man" as the duke says, "is the great exception," and has been defined as the only animal that ill-treats and degrades his female. and when at length we come to the topmost step, "the roof and crown of things,"--man, as you have already explained the physical facts of life-giving on the plane of plants, and ants, and bees, where they can excite no feeling of any kind, you will have no need to go over them again, but will find yourself free to express the physical in terms of the moral. man, as a spiritual being, incarnate in an animal body, takes this great law of sex which we have seen running through the animated creation, and lifts it into the moral and the spiritual. the physical love which in animals only lasts for the brief time that is needed for the production and rearing of offspring--becomes in him a love which "inhabiteth eternity," and unites him to the mother of his children in the indissoluble union of marriage. his fatherhood becomes the very representative of the father in heaven. the mother becomes the very type and image of the love that has loved us with more than a mother's love, borne with us with more than a mother's patience, suffered for us, in the cross and passion, more than a mother's pangs, to bring us into a higher life. the love of brothers and sisters becomes the first faint beginning of the universal church and the brotherhood of man; and the sweet babble of their voices grows choral at length in the songs of the church triumphant, the unbroken family in heaven; while the christian home shadows forth the eternal home which awaits us hereafter.[ ] the only warning you would have to give your boy would be to point out that, as a cathedral takes longer to build than a shanty, so the human body, which is meant to be the temple of the "lord and giver of life," takes much longer to mature than an animal's. many an animal lives and dies of old age in the fourteen years that leave man still an immature boy. and you must earnestly impress upon him that the whole of this part of his nature which you have been explaining to him as a great law running through animated creation and finding its highest uses in man, must be left to mature itself in absolute rest and quiet. all premature use of it is fatal to perfect health of soul and body. the less he thinks of it, and the more he thinks of his work and his athletics, the better for him. above all, you hope, now that he knows the truth and his curiosity is satisfied, he will loathe all filthy jests and stories about that which is the source of all beautiful living things on the pleasant earth and, in his own little world, of all happy family life and innocent home love and joy. let me quote here, in conclusion, a little poem, called "the golden ladder," which seems to me to embody some of the teaching of this exquisite page of the illuminated word of creation, which man has so blotted and defiled with his obscenities, but which to "open hearts and love-lit eyes" is the spring of all that is highest--the birth of the moral and the cradle of the divine. "when torn with passion's insecure delights, by love's dear torments, ceaseless changes worn, as my swift sphere full twenty days and nights did make, ere one slow morn and eve were born; "i passed within the dim, sweet world of flowers, where only harmless lights, not hearts, are broken, and weep out the sweet-watered summer showers-- world of white joys, cool dews, and peace unspoken; "i started, even there among the flowers, to find the tokens mute of what i fled-- passions, and forces, and resistless powers, that have uptorn the world and stirred the dead. "in secret bowers of amethyst and rose, close wrapped in fragrant golden curtains laid, where silver lattices to morn unclose, the fairy lover clasps his flower-maid. "ye blessed children of the jocund day! what mean these mysteries of love and birth? caught up like solemn words by babes at play, who know not what they babble in their mirth. "or of one stuff has some hand made us all, baptized us all in one great sequent plan, where deep to ever vaster deep may call, and all their large expression find in man? "flowers climb to birds, and birds and beasts to man, and man to god, by some strong instinct driven; and so the golden ladder upward ran, its foot among the flowers, its top in heaven. "all lives man lives; of matter first then tends to plants, an animal next unconscious, dim, a man, a spirit last, the cycle ends,-- thus all creation weds with god in him. "and if he fall, a world in him doth fall, all things decline to lower uses; while the golden chain that bound the each to all falls broken in the dust, a linkless pile. "and love's fair sacraments and mystic rite in nature, which their consummation find, in wedded hearts, and union infinite with the divine, of married mind with mind, foul symbols of an idol temple grow, and sun-white love is blackened into lust, and man's impure doth into flower-cups flow, and the fair kosmos mourneth in the dust. o thou, out-topping all we know or think, far off yet nigh, out-reaching all we see, hold thou my hand, that so the top-most link of the great chain may hold, from us to thee; "and from my heaven-touched life may downward flow prophetic promise of a grace to be; and flower, and bird, and beast, may upward grow, and find their highest linked to god in me." possibly you will say at once, "oh, my boy has no taste for natural history, and he would take no interest in this kind of thing." all the better his finding it a bit dry--it will rid the subject of some of its dangerous attraction. i have yet to find the boy for whom the latin grammar has the least interest; but we do not excuse him on that ground from grinding at it. whether he takes an interest in it or not, you have to teach him that he has got to know about these things before going to school, to guard him from the danger of having all sorts of false, and often foul, notions palmed off on him. i do not say that pure knowledge will necessarily save, but i do say that the pitcher which is full of clear spring-water has no room for foul. i do say that you have gained a great step, if in answer to the offer of enlightenment which he is certain to receive, you have enabled your boy to acquit himself of the rough objurgation--forgive me for putting it in schoolboy language: "oh, hold your jaw! i know all about that, and i don't want any of your rot." i do say that early associations are most terribly strong, and if you will secure that those early associations with regard to life and birth shall be bound up with all the sanctities of life--with home, with his mother, with family, with all that is best and highest in life; then his whole attitude in life will be different. but if these early associations are linked with all that is false and foul, some subtle odor of the sewer will still cling about the heart of the shrine, a nameless sense of something impure in the whole subject; an undefinable something in his way of looking at it, which has often made the purity of men--blameless in their outer life--- sadden and perplex me almost as much as the actions and words of confessedly impure men. iv but, whatever is the importance i attach to pure teaching, i return to my old position, that purity is an attitude of soul, or, perhaps i ought to say, the "snowy bloom" of the soul's perfect health, rather than anything you can embody in moral maxims or pure knowledge--that perfect bloom of spiritual health which may be as much the result of a mother's watchful care and training as the physical health of the body. it is for you to train your boy in that knightly attitude of soul, that reverence for womanhood, which is to men as "fountains of sweet water" in the bitter sea of life; that chivalrous respect for the weak and the unprotected which, next to faith in god, will be the best guard to all the finer issues of his character. truth of truth are the golden words of ruskin to young men: "whomsoever else you deceive, whomsoever else you injure, whomsoever else you leave unaided, you must not deceive, nor injure, nor leave unaided according to your power any woman whatever, of whatever rank. believe me, every virtue of the highest phase of manly character begins and ends in this, in truth and modesty before the face of all maidens, in truth and reverence or truth and pity to all womanhood." can we doubt or question this, we who worship him who came to reveal the true man quite as much as to reveal the only true god--the real manhood beneath the false, perishable man with which it is so often overlaid by the influence of society and the world? look at his attitude towards women, ay, even eastern women, who had not been ennobled by centuries of christian freedom and recognized equality of the sexes, but who, on the contrary, belonged to a nation tainted to some degree with that eastern contempt for women which made a hindu answer the question of the englishman, perplexed by the multiplied of indian gods and sects, "is there _no_ point of belief in which you all unite?" "oh, yes," the pundit replied, "we all believe in the sanctity of cows and the depravity of women!" these eastern women, therefore, had much to enslave and lower them; but see how instantly they rose to the touch of the true man, just as they will rise, the women of to-day, to the touch of the true manhood of your sons, if you will train them to be to us such men as jesus christ was. see how he made women his friends, and deigned to accept their ministry to his human needs. many severe rebukes are recorded from his lips to men, but not one to a woman. it was a woman, ay, even a degraded woman, who by her kisses and her tears smote the rock of ages and the water of life flowed forth for the world, who won for the world the words: "he who hath been forgiven much loveth much," and the burden of guilt is changed into the burden of love. it was to a woman he first gave the revelation of life, that he first revealed himself as the water of life, and first uttered the words, "i am the resurrection and the life." it was women who remained faithful when all forsook him and fled. it was a woman who was the last to whom he spoke on the cross, to a woman that the first words were spoken of his risen life. it was a woman he made his first messenger of the risen life to the world. nothing in the life of the true man on earth stands out in more marked features than, if i may venture to use the words, his faith in women, as if to stamp it forever as an attribute of all true manhood, that without which a man cannot be a man. now, side by side with this attitude of the true man, this perfect loyalty to all womanhood as such, ay, even degraded womanhood, place the present debased attitude of men, even of some christian men, which we are looking to you mothers of boys to change _in toto_. is not a powerful writer in the _westminster review_ right when he says, "there is not found a chivalrous respect for womanhood as such. that a woman has fallen is not the trumpet call to every noble and wise-hearted man to raise her up again as speedily as may be; rather it is the signal to deepen her degradation and to doom her to moral death." is it not a received code even among americans as well as englishmen that if a woman knows how to respect and protect herself men are to respect her--it is only a scoundrel that will dare to say an insulting word to her? but if she is a bit fast and giddy, if she has little or no respect for herself, if her foolish feet have slipped ever so little, then she is fair game. "she gave him encouragement; what else could she expect? it was her own fault." to expect that any man with an ounce of true manhood in him would at once say, "that young girl does not in the least realize the danger she is in, and i must get between her and the edge of the precipice, and see that she comes to no harm."--this would be to expect the wildly impossible. have we not made up our mind that the beast and not the christ is our master here; and does not every beast spring at once on a fallen prey? it is human nature, and you will never get men to think and act any differently. as to faith in man as such, not only in the church-going man, but in the rough-spoken fisherman, the contemned publican, the infidel samaritan, faith in his power of recognizing and rising to the truth, the higher standard placed before him, _that_ i sometimes think lies buried in that eastern garden--in the sepulchre "wherein never man yet lay."[ ] and yet it is the man as revealed in jesus christ, not the man as fashioned by the world, with its low traditions and low public opinion, that is true to human nature. in moments of excitement or danger he reverts to this true nature, which has been so warped and overlaid by the world. in the great mass meetings which i held for the purpose of pleading with men to come over on my side and help me in the work of saving women from the awful doom to which men sentence them, i used to bring this home by saying to them: "if a fire were to break out in this vast hall, who would be the first person that you would try to save? it would be me because i am a woman"; and the roar of assent that burst forth from all parts of the building showed that i had struck home. i used to bring before them--and the sooner you bring it before your boys the better--the conduct of the men on the ill-fated _birkenhead_--ah! dear men, voiceless and nameless, and lost in that "vast and wandering grave" into which they sank, what have they not done to raise the tone of england? you will possibly remember that the _birkenhead_, with a troop of our soldiers on board, struck and foundered not far from land. the women and children were at once crowded into the boats, and it was only when, in a few minutes, the ship began to settle that the cry was heard among the men, "to the boats! to the boats! every man for himself!" but the officer in command stood up and shouted, "what! and swamp the women and children? die rather!" and those men did die. drawn up in military array, without moving a muscle, those men sank into the bitter waters of death, that the women and children might live.[ ] that i contend is man's true nature, to love the woman, and, if needs be, to give himself for her. it is, therefore, to recognize and strengthen this true nature of man, to get it deeper into him, and not to get it out of him, as i cannot but feel we have hitherto more or less done, to train your boys in this perfect loyalty to all womanhood as such; and to send forth men into the world to "die rather" than save themselves at the cost of a woman, to "die rather" than drive a woman down into those deep waters of degradation and death, that we look to the mothers of the future as the sole hope of the world. i say again you have got to see that they learn in relation to their own sisters what they have to practise towards all women, however humble, ay, and however degraded, in their future life. as the great english oaks are built up of tiny cells, so this true manliness must be built up by a mother's watchful use of a thousand small daily incidents--by what wordsworth rightly calls the best part of a good man's life-- "his little daily, unremembered acts of kindness and of love." in themselves they seem almost too trivial to mention:--the easy chair instinctively given up on the sister's entrance; the door opened for any woman passing out; the cap removed in the presence of ladies, even though those ladies are his own relatives; the deck-chair taken out by the seaside to make the mother comfortable; the favorite cricket-match given up if an expedition has been fixed in which his services are needed; the window raised and the door shut on leaving a railway-carriage in which women are travelling, so as not to expose them to draught; and, when men-servants are not kept, the sister's bicycle cleaned or the skates polished--all those "little daily, unremembered acts" of knightly service which the mere presence of a woman ought to inspire in a man. i am well aware that here again, as mr. philip hamerton points out, the boarding-school presents a difficulty. as he says, "the worst of the distant school system is that it deprives the home residence that remains of all beneficial discipline; for the boys are guests during the holidays, and the great business is to amuse them."[ ] but surely this needs only to be mentioned to be remedied. you do not make your boys happier during their holidays by making them selfish: what is really a novelty to a schoolboy, fresh from the association with boys only, is to have sisters to look after and a mother to depend upon him for all sorts of little services. a joyous exclamation on your part, "oh, what a comfort it is to have a boy in the house to do things for one!" will make him swell with manly pride; and should he show the least tendency to put upon his sisters and make them fetch and carry for him, as they are only too willing to do, you can easily put a stop to that by a few caustic remarks that you don't want savages in your house; and a pointed use of that delightful story in one of the white cross papers,[ ] of the zulu chief to whom the government sent a propitiatory present of wagons and wheelbarrows, thinking that it would be sure to please him. but he gazed on them with fine scorn, exclaiming: "what's the use of those things for carrying our burdens when we have plenty of women!" or you can use that equally good story, told by sir john lubbock at a sectional meeting of the british association for the promotion of science, of a remote tribe of savages who had never seen a bullock, and when the white man arrived with his bullock wagons, after much perplexed discussion, they came to the conclusion that, as they were used for heavy loads, they must be the white man's wives! a little wholesome, if incisive, raillery on your part will quickly extinguish any tendency to make willing slaves of his sisters. if, however, you prefer to indulge your foolish fondness for him, that subtle self-indulgence which makes it easier for you to sacrifice yourself and his sisters to him rather than discipline him to work out his true nature, remember you gratify yourself at his most cruel cost. you produce the boy whose youth is marked by a tacit contempt for girls and whose manhood will be disfigured by a light estimation of the beauty and sanctity of womanhood. i know well i shall be told that all this is quite out of date; that modern girls are so independent that they stand in no need of brothers, but like to place themselves on a level with them and share as good comrades in all their rough-and-tumble games. let us be of good cheer. sex is a very ancient institution, the slow evolution of hundreds of centuries, and is in no danger of being obliterated by the fashion of a day. take the most advanced "new woman"; yes, concealed under that virile shirt-front, unchoked by that manly necktie and turned-up collar, lurking beneath that masculine billy-cock; nay, hidden somewhere deeper down than the pockets of even those male knickerbockers, you will find the involuntary pleasurable thrill at a strong man's chivalrous attention, the delicious sense of a man's care and protection, which centuries and centuries of physical weakness have woven into the very tissues of her being, in however loud and strident a voice she may deny it. whatever changes in the position of women may take place, the basic fact remains, and will always remain, the man is stronger than the woman, and his strength is given him to serve the weaker; and you have got to get your girls to be your fellow-helpers in developing all that is best and most chivalrous in their brothers, and not so to run riot in their independence as to substitute a boyish camaraderie for the exquisite relations of the true man to the true woman. there rises up now before me a boy, one of those delightful english boys overflowing with pluck and spirits. his mother had come to one of my meetings, and, like so many other mothers, i am thankful to say, had received a lifelong impression from what i said with regard to the training of boys, and she resolved, there and then, to act upon my advice with her own boys. she told me some two years after, that this boy had come in late one afternoon and explained to her that a little girl had asked him to direct her to rather an out-of-the-way house. "i thought she might ask that question of some one who would tell her wrong, or that she might come to some harm, so i thought i had better go with her and see her safe to the house." "but what of the cricket-match that you wanted so to see?" his mother asked. "oh, i had to give that up. there wasn't time for both." on another occasion, when a christmas-tree was being prepared in the schoolroom for some choristers, as he and his mother left at dusk a chorister tried to force himself past her and gain a private view; and when she refused him admittance, not recognizing who she was, called her a very disrespectful name. instantly the boy flew at him like a little tiger, "how dare you speak to my mother like that!" "i didn't see it was your mother," the chorister pleaded, trying to ward off the blows. "but you saw it was a woman, and somebody's mother, and you dare to speak to her like that!" and such a storm of fisticuffs fell on every part of that hulking young chorister's person as forced him at last to cry for mercy and promise that he would never do so again. that boy's master wrote to his mother towards the end of his school-time--he was a bluecoat boy--and said that he positively dreaded his leaving, as his influence on the side of everything good, and pure, and high was quite that of a master. and now i come to the question of religious teaching, which you may be surprised that i have not put first of all. first of all, in one sense, i do put it. there can be no greater safeguard to purity of life than vital religion. i do not go so far as some evangelical mothers who have told me that nothing less than the conversion of their boys would be of the least avail to keep them morally straight; on the contrary, i have known men who have never come under any strong religious influence, but have grown up sceptical scientific men, yet who have led lives as pure as any woman's. common manhood, with the "light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world"; common love for mother and sister, which for their sakes maketh it impossible to wrong their womanhood, even when fallen into the dust; common self-respect, which is so strong in some men, and makes them shrink from anything in the nature of mud, is often sufficient to accomplish this end. but still, when all is said, if in answer to your mother's prayers you can implant in your boy a sense of the divine presence and the cry of the quickened conscience, "how can i do this great sin and wickedness against god?" you have doubtless given him the best panoply against the fiery darts of temptation. only i would again warn you that there must be no forcing of the religious emotions, no effort to gather the fruits of the spirit before the root, in the shape of the great cardinal virtues everywhere presupposed in christian ethics, has been nourished, and strengthened, and watered into strong, healthy growth. we have to bear in mind our lord's words, which it seems to me religious parents sometimes forget, that there is an order of growth in spiritual things as in natural--first the blade, then the ear, and then the full corn in the ear; and we are not to try to force the full corn in the ear before the stalk and the blade have grown. for the want of laying to heart these words of the great teacher, i have known much pulpy, emotional religion engrafted on young souls--admirably adapted to exhaust the soil, but with the smallest possible bearing upon right conduct; a religion perfectly at its ease with much scamping of lessons and hard work in general; indulgent of occasional cribbing, and of skilful manipulation of awkward truth, of betting and small extravagances; and innocent of all sense of dishonesty in allowing a struggling parent to pay large sums for education while the school-time so purchased, often at the cost of home comforts and pleasant outings, is squandered in idleness. what a boy really needs, and, indeed, all immature things--for i found it equally true of immature men--is a simple, practical religion, based more on the facts of life and conscience than on doctrines and dogmas. to know god as his father; to know that he has a redeemer who laid down his life to save him from sin and who takes account of his smallest and most broken effort to do what is right; to realize that it is only so far as he is like christ and in christ that he can be really a man and work out what is highest in him; to know that he has been baptized into a divine society, binding him to fight against all wrong, both within and in the world without; above all, to know that there is a supreme spiritual power within him and about him to enable him to do right, and that in the line of duty "i can't" is a lie in the lips that repeat, "i believe in the holy ghost"; this is as much as his young soul can assimilate, not as mere religious phrases, but as realities to live by. "so nigh to glory is our dust, so nigh to god is man, when duty whispers low 'thou must,' the soul replies, 'i can.'" but see that beneath all this he has the special christian teaching with regard to the sanctity of the body thoroughly instilled into him. if the incarnation means anything, it means not the salvation and sanctification of a ghost, but the salvation and consecration of the whole man, of his body as well as his soul. true, the animal body to a spiritual being must always be a "body of humiliation," but nothing can be more unfortunate and misleading than the epithet in the authorized version of "vile" as a translation of the greek word used by st. paul. on the contrary, we are taught that even this mortal body is a temple of the holy ghost. in teaching this there can be no difficulty; you can make use of a child's natural reverence for a church. you can say, "what would you think if you heard of some loose lads breaking into a church, and just for the fun of the thing strewing the aisles with cinder dust and all sorts of loose rubbish; tearing out the pages of bibles and hymn-books to light their pipes, and getting drunk out of the chalice? you would be honestly shocked at such profanity. nay, even in the dire exigencies of war we do not think better of the germans for having stabled their horses in one of the french churches and left their broken beer-bottles on the high altar and the refuse of a stable strewn up and down the nave. yet a church is, after all, only a poor earthly building, built by human hands. but there is one temple which god has built for himself, the temple of man's body; and of that the terrible words are written, and ever fulfilled, "if any man defile that temple, him will god destroy." god's great gift of speech is not to be defiled by dirty talk, by profane language, by lies, or evil speaking. the organs which are given us for its sustenance are not to be denied by gluttony and piggishness, either in food or drink. the boy is not to use any part of his body in defiling ways which he would be ashamed for his own mother to know of. to do so is not only to defile, but--with the double meaning of the greek word, which we cannot render into english--to destroy; to weaken his brain-power, which he wants for his work in life, to weaken his nervous system, lessening his strength thereby and rendering him less able to excel in athletics, and often, if carried to excess, in after-life bringing results which are the very embodiment of the terrible words, "him will god destroy." the full force and bearing of this teaching he may not apprehend. i have already said that with a young boy the lower appeal never to do anything that is low and dirty and blackguardly will have far more practical weight, and will also avoid laying undue stress on the religious emotions. but i am quite sure that the christian teaching of the sanctity of the body must be laid deep and strong with all the force of early impression in a boy's inmost being, in order that it may lie ready for future use when nature has developed those instincts of manhood which will teach him its full significance. if you are an episcopalian, you will of course find the time of your boy's confirmation simply invaluable as one of those turning-points which will enable you to speak, or possibly write, more unreservedly than is possible on more ordinary occasions. i would earnestly ask you to give him a little white cross confirmation paper called _purity the guard of manhood_, a paper which an eton master pronounced the best thing he had met with of the kind, and which has been widely used. do not rest content with merely giving the paper in a perfunctory way, but follow it up with a few living, earnest words of your own. of course i should do a wrong to your womanly instincts if i were to think it necessary to say that the inculcation of purity must be always in a mother's heart, but only on her lips on some marked occasions, such as the first going to school, the last day of the holidays, or when your boy himself gives the occasion by some question he may ask you, but above all when he reaches a critical age, when a few words from your own lips will be worth all the printed pages in the world. only ever and always make it an essential element of his idea of manliness to be pure, and do not forget constantly to couple the words "brave and pure," or "manly and pure," or "pure and high character," in his hearing; that he may be endued, not with that pale, emasculate thing that passes muster for purity nowadays, which always seems to me chiefly conscious of its own indecency, full of the old nervous "touch not, taste not, handle not" spirit, bandaged up with this restriction and that lest it fall to pieces, and when it comes to saving another from defilement in body and soul shuffling uneasily into a pair of lavender kid-gloves and muttering something about its being "such a very delicate subject"--nay, not this, but that militant sun-clad power which milton dreamed of, rushing down like a sword of god to smite everything low, and base and impure; a purity as of mountain water or living fire, whose very nature it is, not only to be pure itself, but to destroy impurity in others. v and now let me throw together two or three practical suggestions, which will probably be superfluous to the most experienced mothers, but may be useful to younger and more inexperienced parents. in the first place, i think there are few of the heads of the medical profession who would not agree with me that our english dietary is too stimulating and too abundant. sir andrew clark certainly held that a large proportion of our diseases spring from over-eating and over-drinking. i don't suppose that for a boy it so much matters, as he is eating for "edification" as well as for sustenance, for the building up of his walls as well as for the nutrition of his existing frame. but "the boy is father to the man," and i would ask you not to accustom your boys to a rich dietary, as the habit once formed will be prolonged into early manhood, and undoubtedly such stimulating diet does greatly increase the temptations with which young men have to contend. it is perfectly unnecessary for the developing of strength and stature, as is shown by the splendid scotchmen who yearly carry off some of our highest university distinctions and prizes--many of them farmer lads who have scarcely tasted meat in their boyhood, but have been brought up on the simple farinaceous food of the country. there was much force and meaning in the quaint congratulatory telegram sent by a friend to a cambridge senior wrangler hailing from scotland, "three cheers for the parritge!" and that curious and most impressive fact which mr. bayard, the late american ambassador, hunted up for our edification from various dictionaries of biography--the fact, namely, that a large proportion of our most eminent men spring from the homes of the poorer clergy, where certainly sumptuous fare and much meat do not obtain, is a proof that abstemious living, while forming a valuable discipline for the soul, does not injure but promotes the health of the body and the strength of the brain. our having given up the religious uses of fasting i often think is a loss to young men; and it might, therefore, be as well if we were to imitate our "corybantic" brethren, the salvationists, and institute a week of self-denial, leaving the children to work out an economical dietary, with due care on our part that it should be fairly nutritious, and allowing them to give what they have saved from the ordinary household expenses to any cause in which they may be interested. it would give them a wholesome lesson in self-denial and cheap living; both lessons much needed in these luxurious days. but whether this suggestion finds favor or not, we have always to bear in mind that "plain living" is the necessary companion of "high thinking"--the lowly earth-born twin who waits upon her heavenly sister. on the vexed question of the use of alcohol there was but one point on which there was a consensus of opinion in the discussion by our leading medical men, which appeared some years ago in the pages of the _contemporary review_. the point upon which they were all agreed was that alcohol is injurious to children, and if the boy has been accustomed from his early youth to do without it, and, as he grows up, remains a total abstainer, there is no question that his abstinence will prove a great safeguard; though i cannot go as far as some of my abstaining friends, who seem to regard the use of alcohol as the root of what must, in the nature of things, be one of the strongest primal passions of human nature, and therefore liable to abuse, whether men are total abstainers or not. anyhow, though a lad can be trained to strict moderation, abstinence in both alcohol and tobacco must after a time come of the lad's own free will; the last thing that answers is to multiply and enforce restrictions; the rebound is inevitable and often fatal. but i do say that where there is a great pinching in the home in order to afford the educational advantages of school and university, it does show some radical defect in the training of our boys that they should indulge in such expensive habits, especially the expensive and wholly unnecessary habit of smoking, when the dear mother and young sisters are doing without many a little home comfort in order to meet the expense of the young rascal's education. one rich old grandmother whom i met abroad promised each of her grandsons fifty pounds if they would give up smoking; and it was marvellous how that stern necessity of doing as other young men do disappeared like their own tobacco smoke before the promise of that fifty pounds for their own pockets! they were all able to claim it one after the other. if boys were not trained by their mothers to be systematically selfish, might not the home-claims in the heart be as strong as those fifty pounds in the pocket? secondly, with regard to betting and gambling, which may be classed with drinking, as the fruitful parent of bad company, and a _descensus ad infernum_:--do you not think a boy may be best guarded against a habit of betting, which is so likely to lead on to gambling, by taking the same line as a boy of my acquaintance took with his mother when she was warning him against it: "well, mother, you see, it always does seem so mean to me to get a fellow's money from him without giving him anything in return; it always does seem so like prigging, and some of our fellows are awfully hard up, and can't afford to lose a penny." mr. gladstone was evidently of the same opinion when he once said to his private secretary, sir edward hamilton, that he "regarded gambling as nothing short of damnable. what can be the fun of winning other people's money?" this strikes me as a way of putting it which would appeal most forcibly to a boy; and if, in addition, we were to point out to him that, like all shady things, it has a tendency to grow and sharpen the man into a sharper and develop the blood-sucking apparatus of a leech, besides bringing wretchedness and misery on others, he might be led to resist the first beginnings of a betting habit which may lead on to gambling in after years. and here i would say that the absolute absence of any training given to a boy in the right use and value of money, which has obtained till lately in our english schools, is surely suicidal and must lend itself to every form of abuse. i do not know whether it is the same with you, but many of our boys know money only in the form of pocket-money, when it becomes to him a metal token mostly signifying so much "tuck"; becoming, as he grows older, more and more deleterious "tuck" in the shape of billiards, betting, etc., and ending in a general going "on tick," which is worse still. but in this matter we are improving. i think most sensible parents nowadays place a small sum at their bank to the boy's account, with a check-book, making him responsible at first for small articles of clothing, neckties, shirt-collars, etc, and as soon as he shows himself trustworthy, for all his expenses except school bills. the boy is expected to keep accounts, get nothing without first asking the price, and to bring his receipted bills at the end of the term to his father, and see that they tally with his foils; and, above all, always to pay in ready money--unpaid bills being contemplated in the bald light of shop-lifting. to this i would add, if possible, the habit of giving the jewish tenth, so as to make giving a steady principle, and not a hap-hazard impulse. thirdly, it is a vital point to give your boys interesting pursuits. there is great force in the rough old saying, "never give the devil an empty chair to sit down upon, and you won't be much troubled with his company." vice is constantly only idleness which has turned bad,--idleness being emphatically a thing that will not keep, but turns rotten. it is not the great industrial centres of our population that are chiefly ravaged by vice; it is the fashionable watering-places, the fashionable quarters of large towns, where idle men congregate, in which it is a "pestilence that walketh in darkness," and slays its thousands of young girls. "empty by filling," has always been a favorite motto of mine. how many a young man has been driven to betting, drinking, and the race-course from the want of something of interest to fill his unoccupied hours, because more wholesome tastes have never been developed in him! of course, tastes must be to a certain degree inborn, but i am quite sure that many a taste perishes, like a frost-bitten bud, full of the promise of blossom and fruit, because it has never been given the opportunity to develop. take a boy's innate love of collecting. could you not develop it by the offer of a little prize for the best collection of dried flowers, of butterflies or insects, of birds' eggs, even, in some cases, of geological specimens, but, in any case, with the scientific and common names attached; so forming a healthy taste for natural history, which may be a source of perpetual interest and profit in after-life? do not let your dislike of destroying life interfere; reverence for life can be as well, nay, better taught by insisting that only the necessary specimens should be given of each species, only one or two eggs taken from the nest, and the nest itself disturbed as little as possible. chemistry and electricity also appeal to a boy's love of experimentizing and of making electrical contrivances, easily constructed of the commonest materials. as to hand-work, the lack of which in ill-health has made so many a man a torment both to himself and others, there ought to be no difficulty with regard to that. carpentering, wood-carving, repoussé-work in metal, bent-iron work, mosaic work, any of these, except possibly the last, may be set on foot with very little expense, besides drawing, modelling, etc. where there are sufficient means it would be a good thing if boys were taught, as far as may be, how things are made and the amount of toil that goes into the simplest article. i remember giving a small printing-press to a boy of ours--an excellent gift, by the by, for a lad, and it can be had for five or six shillings--and his coming to me soon after with a match-box in his hand, exclaiming with wonderment, "why, auntie, there are six different kinds of type on this match-box!" if they could learn how to build, how rafters and joists are put in, and construct as much as a miniature summer-house in the garden, how useful this being able to turn their hands to anything might prove to them in their after-life. and with what added respect they would look upon all labor if they had never looked upon it as the part of a "gentleman" to stand aloof from it. lastly, but not least, i would plead most earnestly for the frequent home-letter, should your boy be sent to a boarding-school. if you would have him resist the temptations of school life, keep the home as close to his heart and as present to his mind as you can. make it your first and paramount duty to write every day if you can, if not every other day, at least twice a week. do not misunderstand me here. god knows i do not go in for the devoted mother who thinks of nothing but her boys and to whom the whole world besides is nothing but an empty flourish of the pen about their names. such mothers are like chinese teacups, with no perspective and everything out of proportion; where the mandarin is as big as the pagoda, and suffers from a pathetic inability to get in at his own door. you must see things in moral perspective in order to train character on large and noble lines. and it is from the rough quarry of the outside world, with its suffering and sin, that you must fetch the most precious stones for the building up of true manhood or womanhood. the sooner children are taught that their small concerns must be subordinated at times to the needs of the sick, the poor, and the suffering, the better for them. for a mother, therefore, to undertake _some_ outside work may and will prove the best element in their education, enabling them in their turn to live in relation with the world in which god has placed them and do their part in the service of humanity. all that i mean is, do not so crowd your life with outside work or social engagements as to have no time to spare for this daily or at least bi-weekly letter to the boys at school. bear in mind that the most important work you can do for the world is the formation of noble character, building it up stone by stone as you alone can do. do not be too busy to make yourself your boy's friend and throw yourself heartily into all that interests him. i have known philanthropic mothers to whom cricket was nothing but an unmeaning scurrying backwards and forwards, and who scarcely knew the stern of a boat from its bows! and what a liberal education a mother's home-letters to her boys at school might be made! the stirring incident in the newspapers, the fine passage in the book, a verse or two of a noble poem, as well as all the loving thought and prayer that is for ever flying like homing birds to the dear absent lads, and the inculcation of all things lovely and pure and manly, brightened by home jokes and the health of the last cherished pet--all these things might go to make up the home letters. above all, what an opportunity it would give for pleading the cause of the little chaps who, by some strange insanity working in the brain of the british parent, are sent into the rough world of a large school when they are fitter for the nursery, and whom you might appeal to your boys to look after and protect, so far as they are able; and not only these, but to side with every boy who is being bullied for acting up to his conscience or because he has not the pluck to stand up for himself. in conclusion, i would earnestly ask you to believe in your own power when united to the knowledge which is necessary to direct it. "a man is what a woman makes him," says the old saw. look back upon the men you have known who have been touched to finest issues, and you will find, with few exceptions, that they are the shaping of a noble woman's hands--a noble mother, a noble wife, a noble sister. doubt not, but earnestly believe that with those wonderful shaping hands of yours you can mould that boy of yours into the manhood of sir galahad, "whose strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure"; that you can send him forth into the world like king arthur, of whom our own poet, spenser, says, that the poorest, the most unprotected girl could feel that "all the while he by his side her bore she was as safe as in a sanctuary." nay, may i not go further still and say that by the grace of god you can send him forth "made of a woman" in the image of the strong and tender manhood of jesus christ, to whom even the poor lost girls out of the street could come and know that here was a man who would not drag them down, but lift them up; believing in whom, clinging to whom, trusting in whom, they grew no longer lost and degraded, but splendid saints of the christian church. footnotes: [footnote : _morality in public schools_, by dr. butler, master of trinity college, cambridge, and late head-master of harrow.] [footnote : _the preservation of health_, by clement dukes, m.d., m.r.c.s., howard medallist, statistical society of london, p. .] [footnote : _ibid._, p. .] [footnote : _a confidential talk with the boys of america_, by j.m. dick. fleming h. revell co.] [footnote : see appendix.] [footnote : see _parents' review_, no. , july, , p. .] [footnote : have quoted here from _the ascent of man_ by professor drummond, pp. , ; but any standard work on botany will give you the method of the fertilization of plants in greater detail.] [footnote : _ibid._, p. .] [footnote : erroneously called neuter, as in reality it is an imperfectly developed female, and is only capable of producing males.] [footnote : i owe my first clear apprehension of the gradual evolution of the preservative and altruistic elements in nature, arising from the struggle for existence, to a sermon of dr. abbott's called _the manifestation of the son of god_, now, i fear, out of print. of course darwin recognized these factors as a necessary complement to the survival of the fittest, else had there been no fittest to survive; but the exigencies of proving his theory of the origin of species necessitated his dwelling on the destructive and weeding-out elements of nature--"nature red in tooth and claw," rather than the equally pervasive nature of the brooding wing and the flowing breast. had not professor drummond unfortunately mixed it up with a good deal of extraneous sentiment, his main thesis would scarcely have been impugned.] [footnote : in case this method of teaching should seem to some mothers too difficult, i intend to embody it in a simple "mother's talk on life and birth," which a mother can read with her boys.] [footnote : see a white cross paper of mine called _my little sister_. wells gardner, darton and co., london.] [footnote : twice since the wreck of the _birkenhead_ has the same true manhood been evinced on the high seas in the face of almost certain death--once in the wreck of the troopship, the _warren hastings_, and again by the crew and the civilian passengers of the _stella_. perfect order was maintained, and though, ultimately all the men were saved, not a man stirred hand or foot to save himself till the women and children had first been safely got on shore.] [footnote : _french and english_, by philip hamerton, p. .] [footnote : _the british zulu_. wells gardner, darton and co., london.] chapter vii early manhood if, in the words of the great educator i have already quoted, the chief moral teaching and moral trend of the character must be given in the schoolboy days, yet early manhood presents its own fruitful field for the influence of a mother on the side of whatsoever things are pure and lovely. the methods of exerting this influence must change as your son grows from a boy into a man; the inevitable reticence, the exquisite reserve of sex, must interfere with the old boyish confidences and with your own freedom of speech. other barriers, too, will most likely spring up as your son goes forth into the world and mixes freely with other young men of his own standing. whether it be at college, or in the army, or in business, he will inevitably be influenced by the views of the men he associates with, which he will enlarge into the opinion of the world in general, and will probably come home, if not to contradict his mother, at least to patronize her and go his own way, smiling at her with an air of manly superiority and with a lofty consciousness that he knows a thing or two which lie beyond a woman's ken. probably enough he takes up with views on religion, or politics, or social questions which are emphatically not yours, and which make you feel left very far behind, instead of the old familiar "walking together" which was so sweet. worse still, he may evince for a time a cynical indifference to all great questions, and all your teaching may seem to be lost in a desert flat. the days of the latch-key and the independent life have come, and you often seem to stand outside the walls which once admitted you into their dearest recesses, left with but little clue as to what is going on within. but have patience. early teaching and influence, though it may pass for a time into abeyance, is the one thing that leaves an indelible impress which will in the end make itself felt, only waiting for those eternal springs which well up sooner or later in every life to burst into upward growth; it may be a pure attachment, it may be a great sorrow, it may be a sickness almost unto death, it may be some awakening to spiritual realities. i often think of that pathetic yet joyful resurrection cry, "this is our god, we have waited for him"--waited for him, possibly through such long years of disappointment and heart hunger--only to cry at the last, "this is our god, we have waited for him, and he has saved us." but it is not all waiting. if with early manhood the "old order" has to give place to new, and old methods and instruments have to be laid aside as no longer fitted for their task, god puts into the hands of the mother new instruments, new methods of appeal, which in some ways are more powerful than the old. in early manhood she can appeal to the thought of the future wife. i believe that this appeal is one of the strongest that you can bring to bear upon young men. i once had to make it myself under circumstances of unparalleled difficulty; and i was struck with the profound response that it evoked. it was on the occasion of the inaugural white cross address to the students of the edinburgh university, now one of the first medical schools in the world. the date of the address had been fixed, the hall taken, when an unforeseen difficulty arose. eminent man after eminent man was asked to give the address, but all with one consent began to make excuse. spirit and flesh quailed before so difficult and rowdy an audience on so difficult and perilous a subject. at last the professor who was chiefly interested implored me to give the address myself, or the whole thing would go by default. under these circumstances i had no choice but to do so. but as i sat in the committee room while the order of the meeting was being arranged, and heard my audience shouting, singing, crowing like cocks, whistling like parrots, caterwauling like cats, and keeping up a continuous uproar, i thought to myself, "i have got to go into that, and control it somehow so as to be heard"; i confess i did feel wrecked upon god. professor maclagan, who took the chair, agreed that a prayer was impossible, a hymn was equally out of the question. the only thing was to push me at once to the front; and almost immediately after a few very brief words from the distinguished chairman i found myself face to face with an audience that evidently meant mischief. by some instinct i told them at once about james hinton, whom, of course, they knew by name as the first aurist of his day; how, with all that this life could give him, he had died of a broken heart, a heart broken over the lost and degraded womanhood of england, the hosts of young girls slain in body and soul whom he met with at night in our terrible streets. this seemed to strike and sober them, that a man should actually die over a thing which to all of them was so familiar and to many had been only the subject of a coarse jest. fortunately, there is a stage of nervous terror which rounds again on desperate courage, and having once got hold of my audience, i determined to use the occasion to the uttermost and venture on the most perilous ground. in the course of my address i asked them to take notice of a great silent change that was taking place all round them in the position of women, the full significance of which they might not have grasped. everywhere women were leaving the seclusion of their homes and were quietly coming forward and taking their place by their side in the great work of the world. i thanked them for the generous welcome that they had accorded them. but had they seized the full meaning, the ulterior bearings of this changed attitude in women, and the wider knowledge of the world that it brought with it? not so long ago it was an understood thing that women should know nothing of the darker side of life; and there was nothing dishonorable in a man keeping the woman he loved in ignorance of the darker side of his own past, if such there were. but in the greater knowledge that has come to women, and the anguish some of them feel over the misery and degradation of their lost sisters, can this attitude any longer be maintained without conscious deception? "what would you say," i asked, "if the woman you loved with the whole strength of your soul passed herself off as an undamaged article upon you, and let you worship her as the very embodiment of all that is white and pure, when something unspeakably sad and sinful had happened in her past life? you know you would be half mad at the wrong done to you if after marriage you found it out. and what are you going to do, i ask some of you who are so careless as to the life you lead, are _you_ going to pass yourself off as an undamaged article on the woman who loves and worships you, and who gives herself so unreservedly to you that she loses her very name and takes yours? is it fair, is it honorable, is it even manly? no, i see by your faces you are saying, 'i don't think it is, i should have to confess.' well, that is better than basing your life on a dishonorable lie. but, alas! it is no way out of the misery. at the very moment when you would give all you possess to be worthy of that great love she gives you, you have to prove that you are unworthy; and the whole of the only last gleam of eden that is left to this poor life of yours, the pure love of a man to a pure woman, is blotted out with bitter and jealous tears; the trail of the serpent is over it all. i know well that women can love, and love passionately, impure men; but every woman will tell you that there is _a_ love that a woman can only give to a man who has been faithful to her before marriage as well as after; and for ever and for ever there will be a shut door at the very heart of your eden of which you have flung away the key, a love that might have been yours had you kept yourself worthy of it. there is but one way out of the difficulty, now that in the changed position of women you can no longer honorably keep them in the dark--to make up your mind that you will come to the woman you love in the glory of your unfallen manhood, as you expect her to come to you in the beauty of her spotless maidenhood." i did not know for one moment whether they would not break out into cooing like doves; but, on the contrary, they listened to me with profound attention, and i could see that none of my words went so home to them as those. when i had finished my address a member of the committee said to one of the professors, "i think if she had asked them to go off and storm edinburgh castle they would have marched off in a body and done it." so great is the power of a woman pleading for women. if i could use this sacred plea with effect under circumstances of--i think you will allow--such unspeakable difficulty, must it not be possible to you, the mother from whom such an appeal would come so naturally, to use this same influence, and in the quiet sunday walk through the fields and woods where nature herself seems to breathe of the sanctity of life in every leaf and flower, or in the quiet talk over the winter fireside before he leaves home, to plead with your son to keep himself faithful to his future wife, so that when he meets the woman he can love and make his wife, he may have no shameful secrets to confess, or, worse still, to conceal from her, no base tendencies to hand down to his unborn children after him? thank god! how many an american and english wife and mother can speak here from personal experience of the perfect love and perfect trust which have been bred of a pure life before marriage, and a knowledge that the sacraments of love and life had never been desecrated or defiled, so that no shadow of distrust or suspicion can ever darken the path of her married happiness. how powerful the pleading of such a mother may become with her son, to give his future wife the same perfect trust and unclouded happiness in her husband's love! i remember in a series of allegorical pictures by an old master in the baptistery at florence, how, with the divine instinct of poets and artists, in the beautiful symbolic figure of hope, the painter has placed a lily in her hands. cannot we teach our sons that if they are to realize their dearest hope in life, that divine hope must ever bear a lily in her hand as the only wand that can open to them the paradise of the ideal, the divine vision which is "the master light of all our seeing," the deepest and most sacred joys of our life? he safely walks in darkest ways whose youth is lighted from above, where, through the senses' silvery haze, dawns the veiled moon of nuptial love. "who is the happy husband? he who, scanning his unwedded life, thanks god, with all his conscience free, 'twas faithful to his future wife."[ ] again, could we not give our boys a little more teaching about the true nature and sacredness of fatherhood? it always strikes me that the true ethics of fatherhood are not yet born. were the true nature, the sacredness, and the immense responsibilities of fatherhood really and duly recognized, men could not look with the appalling lightness with which they do on providing some substitute for marriage, when they have not the means to marry in early life, and are under the very prevalent illusion that continent men who marry late run the risk of a childless marriage--a notion which so great an authority as acton pronounces to be absolutely false physiologically, and without foundation in fact. to bring a child into the world to whom he can perform no one of the duties of a father, and to whom he deliberately gives a mother with a tarnished name--a mother who, from the initial wrong done to her and the stigma which deprives her of the society of women, will only too probably not stay her feet at the first wrong step, but be drawn down that dread winding stair which ends in the despair of a lost soul--this, i urge, would be utterly abhorrent to every even fairly right-thinking man, instead of the very common thing it is. did we see it truly, it would be a not venial sin, but an unpardonable crime. now, surely mothers can supply some teaching here which must be wanting for public opinion to be what it is. a quiet talk about the high nature, the duties and responsibilities of fatherhood cannot present any great difficulties. i remember many years ago hearing canon knox little preach a sermon in york cathedral to a large mixed congregation, in which he touched on this subject. at this distance of time i can only give the freest rendering of his words, the more so as i have so often used them in my own meetings that i may have unconsciously moulded them after my own fashion. "look," he said, "at that dying father--dying in the faith, having fought the good fight, and all heaven now opening before his dying gaze. yet he withdraws his thoughts from that great hereafter to centre them upon the little lad who stands at his bedside. his hands wander over the golden head with "'the vast sad tenderness of dying men.' he triumphs over pain and weakness that he may plot and plan every detail of the young life which he can no longer live to guide and direct. and when at length he seems to have passed into the last darkness, and they hold up the child to see if he will yet recognize him, suddenly the spirit seems to sweep back again over the dark river which it has almost crossed, and an ineffable light illumines the dying face as his lips meet the lips of his little son in one last supreme kiss--the father's love for one moment vanquishing death itself. and what, i ask," said the preacher, in tones that thrilled that vast audience, "must be the sin of desecrating and defiling such a function as this, this function of fatherhood in which man seems to touch upon god himself and become the representative of the father in heaven--what must be the guilt of turning it into a subject of filthy jests and a source of unclean actions?" the friend with whom i was staying had brought with her her bible class of industrial school lads, and when the next day she asked what had struck them most in the sermon, they answered promptly, "what he said about fathers," let us go and teach likewise. but perhaps the most precious sphere of influence is that which comes to a mother last and latest of all--too late, unless the moral training of all preceding years has been made one long disciplinary preparation in self-mastery and pureness of living, for the higher and more difficult self-control, the far sterner discipline, of true marriage pure and undefiled. but if through her training and influence "the white flower of a blameless life" has been worn "through all the years of passion in the blood," then this is the time when her long patient sowing comes to its golden fruitage. it is to his mother that a young man turns as his confidant in his engagement; it is to her that he necessarily turns for counsel and advice with regard to his young wife in the early years of his marriage. a young man in love is a man who can receive divine truth even of the hardest, for love is of god, and its very nature is self-giving. "love took up the harp of life, and smote upon its chords with might-- smote the chord of self, that trembling passed in music out of sight." a pure affection is an almost awful revelation in itself to a young man of the true nature of sensual sin. he would gladly die for the woman he loves. and we look, therefore, to you mothers to bring into the world that christian ideal of marriage which at present is practically shut up between the covers of our bibles, that the man is to love the woman, the husband the wife,[ ] "as christ loved the church and gave himself for it"; not our ideal of the self-sacrificing woman--our patient griseldas and enids and all the rest of it--but the self-sacrificing man, who is but poorly represented in our literature at all,--the man who loves the woman and gives himself for her, holding all the strongest forces and passions of his nature for her good, to crown her with perfect wifehood and perfect motherhood. this christian ideal was doubtless intended to fulfil those restrictions of the levitical law which were to safeguard the health of the wife and secure the best conditions for the unborn child; laws and regulations to the observance of which the jew doubtless owes his splendid physique and his still more splendid mental endowments, which, though he is the fewest of all peoples, bring him everywhere to the forefront,--in finance, in literature, in music, in general capacity,--and to which, i should be inclined to add, he owes his comparatively slow rate of increase, else it is difficult to understand the small numerical strength of this extraordinary race; but i know that this is a disputed point. no jot or tittle of these laws and regulations can pass away until they are fulfilled in some larger truth; for ignore them or not, they are founded on physiological laws; and it is on mothers' recognizing this larger truth in the advice they give, and on their bringing in the christian ideal, that the future of marriage mainly depends, and its being made more consonant with the higher and more independent position of women than it at present is. whilst the sight is so familiar of wives with health broken down and life made a burden, possibly even premature death incurred, by their being given no rest from the sacred duties of motherhood, to say nothing of the health of the hapless child born under such circumstances, can we wonder that the modern woman often shows a marked distaste to marriage and looks upon it as something low and sensual? or can we wonder that married men, with so sensual an ideal of so holy a state, should, alas! so largely minister to the existence of an outcast class of women? on the other hand, the remedy resorted to is often worse than the disease. i confess i have stood aghast at the advice given by christian mothers, often backed up by a doctor whom they affirm to be a christian man, in order to save the health of the wife or limit the increase of the family. the heads of the profession, in england, i believe, are sound on this point, a conference having been held some years ago by our leading medical men to denounce all such "fruits of philosophy" as physically injurious and morally lowering. but if we want to know what their practical results are, the moral gangrene they are to the national life when once they have firmly taken hold of a nation, we have only to look across the channel at france--france with her immense wealth, but rapidly declining population, which in less than a century will reduce her from a first-rate to a second-or third-rate power, so that her statesmen have actually debated the expediency of offering a premium on illegitimacy in the shape of free nurture to all illegitimate children,--illegitimate citizens being better in their estimation than no citizens at all. would we have the anglo-saxon race enter on this downward grade? if not, then let us women silently band together to preserve the sanctity of the family, of the home, and sternly to bar out the entrance of all that defileth--all that sensualizes her men and enfeebles their self-mastery, all that renders the heart of her women too craven to encounter the burdens of being the mothers of a mighty race, flowing out into all the lands to civilize and christianize, and "bear the white man's burthen." one word more, a sad and painful one, but one which comes from my inmost heart. do not pass by the sadder aspects of this great moral question and refuse "to open thy mouth for the dumb," for those "who are appointed unto destruction." you cannot keep your son in ignorance of the facts; the state of our miserable streets, every time he walks out in the evening in any of our large towns, absolutely forbids that possibility. but you can place him in the right attitude to meet those facts whether in the streets or among his own companions. it is by fighting the evils without that we can best fight the evils within. it is in dragging them down that we are lifted up. a noble passion for the wronged, the weak, the sinful, and the lost is the best means for casting out the ignoble passions which would destroy another in order to have a good time one's self. at present the stock phrase of a virtuous young man is, "i know how to take care of myself." you have to put into his lips and heart a stronger and a nobler utterance than that: "i know how to take care of the weakest woman that comes in my path." surely it is requiring no impossible moral attitude in our sons, rather mere common manliness, to expect that when spoken to by some poor wanderer, he should make answer in his heart if not with his lips, "my girl, i have got a sister, and it would break my heart to see her in your place, and i would rather die than have any part in your degradation." one mother i know, who had been much engaged in rescue work, and into whose heart the misery and degradation of our outcast girls had entered like iron, taught her young son always to take off his hat before passsing on, whenever he was accosted. he told a friend of mine that he had scarcely ever known it to fail. either the poor girl would say, "sir, i am very sorry i spoke to you"; or more frequently still that little mark of human respect would prove too much, and she would silently turn away and burst into tears. if our sons cannot bare their heads before that bowed and ignoble object on whom the sins of us all seem to have met--the wild passions of men, as well as the self-righteousness of the church--then our young men are not what i take them to be,--nay, thank god! what i know them to be, sound of head and sound of heart. they get hold of facts by the wrong end; they cut into the middle of a chain, and look upon the woman as the aggressor, and contemplate her as an unclean bird of prey. they do not in the least realize the slight and morally trivial things that cast too many of our working-class girls down into the pit of hell that skirts their daily path--often as mere children who know not what they do, often from hunger and desperation, often tricked and drugged, and always heavily bribed. but let them know the facts, let them read a little paper such as the _black anchor_, the _ride of death_, or _my little sister_,[ ] and they will feel the whole thing to be, in their own rough but expressive words, "a beastly shame," and fight it both in themselves and in others, for our sakes as well as their own. for the misery as things are is this:--that men divide us into two classes--we pure women for whom nothing is too good; and those others, whom they never associate with us, for whom nothing is too bad. and what we have to teach them is this--that our womanhood is one that a sin against them is a sin against us, and so to link the thought of us to them that for the sake of their own mothers, for the sake of their own sisters, above all, for the sake of the future wife, they cannot wrong or degrade a woman or keep up a degraded class of women. i am aware that, besides the suggestions i have made, young men require a plain, emphatic warning as to the physical dangers of licentiousness and of the possibility of contracting a taint which medical science is now pronouncing to be ineradicable and which they will transmit in some form or other to their children after them. we want a strong cord made up of every strand we can lay hold of, and one of these strands is doubtless self-preservation, though in impulsive youth i do not think it the strongest. but to give these warnings is manifestly the father's duty, and not the mother's; and i hope and believe that the number of fathers who are beginning to recognize their duty in this matter, as moral teachers of their boys, is steadily increasing. in the case of widowed mothers, or where the father absolutely refuses to say anything, perhaps the paper i have already mentioned, _medical testimony_,[ ] would be the best substitute for the father's living voice. and now let me conclude this chapter, as i concluded the last, with a few scattered practical suggestions which may prove of use. my experience has been that the vast majority of our young men go wrong not from any vicious tendencies, but from want of thought, want of knowledge, and a consequent yielding to the low moral tone of so-called men of the world, and the fear of being chaffed as "an innocent." see that your boy is guarded from this want of thought and want of knowledge. when your son is a sixth form boy--it is impossible to give the age more definitely, as it must depend upon the character of the boy--place in his hands the white cross paper, _true manliness_ which will give him the facts about his own manhood. this paper was carefully revised by the late bishop of durham, dr. lightfoot, whose specialty was young men; and upwards of a million copies have been sold, which in itself guarantees it as a safe paper. nor need you as a mother of sons fear to read over any of the white cross papers, since they concern themselves, as their name denotes, with purity and a high ideal of life--not with the sewer, but with the fountain of sweet waters. should your boys be so inclined, you might suggest their joining that band of modern knights, the white cross society.[ ] it is a great thing to give a young man a high ideal to act up to, and the white cross would certainly give him this, as well as save him, with its definite obligations, from evil that is incurred from sheer thoughtlessness and animal spirits, enforcing a respectful and chivalrous treatment of women, even when by their fast ways those women show that they have no respect for themselves. but more especially is this the case with regard to the second obligation, to discountenance coarse jests and allusions and the by no means nice sort of talk that often goes on in smoking-rooms, and by which, i am convinced, more than by any other agency the mind and conscience of young men is gradually deadened and defiled, but in which they are apt to join from sheer thoughtlessness and sense of fun. their white cross obligation might screw up their moral courage to utter some such pointed rebuke as dr. jowett's to a lot of young men in a smoking-room, "i don't want to make myself out better than you are, but is there not more dirt than wit in that story?" or that other still more public rebuke which he administered at his own dinner-table when, the gentlemen having been left to their wine, a well-known diplomat began telling some very unsavory stories, till the still, small, high-pitched voice of the master made itself heard, saying, "had we not better adjourn this conversation till we join the ladies in the drawing-room?" at least they can keep silence and a grave face; and silence and a grave face are often the best damper to coarse wit. why, i ask, should men when they get together be one whit coarser than women? it is simply an evil fashion, and as an evil fashion can and will be put down as "bad form." i think also that joining the white cross will make young men more active in trying to influence other young men and to guard and help their younger brothers, with all the other priceless work that they can, if they will, do for our womanhood among men, but which, from shyness and reserve and the dread of being looked upon as moral prigs, they are apt to let go by default. but whether you agree with me or not with regard to your sons' joining an organization, see that they assume their rightful attitude of guardians of the purity of the home. we women cannot know anything about the inner secrets of men's lives, or know whom to exclude and whom to admit to the society of our girls. this ought to be the part of the brothers. god knows we do not want to make a pariah class of men on the same lines as are meted out to women. the young man who wants to do better we are bound to help, and no better work can be done in our large cities than to open our homes to young men in business or in government offices, etc. but men who are deliberately leading a fast life and who are deeply stained with the degradation of our own womanhood, with no wish to rise out of their moral slough, these must be to us as moral lepers, to be gilded by no wealth, to be cloaked by no insignia of noble birth, or we stand betrayed as hypocrites and charlatans in our own cause. if our position in society is such as obliges us to receive such men, we all know the moral uses of ice, and under the guise of the most frigid politeness we can make them feel their absolute exclusion from the inner circle of our friends and intimates. there need be no discussion between you and your son--just the hint: "oh, mother, i would not ask that fellow if i were you," and you will know what is meant. much may also be done by keeping up the general high tone of the home. one mother of eight sons, who all turned out men of high, pure life, if ever they used in her presence such expressions as "a well-groomed woman," or commended their last partner at a ball as "a pretty little filly," would instantly interrupt them and ask incisively, "are you talking of a horse or a woman? if you are talking of a woman, you will be pleased to remember that you are speaking in the presence of your mother and your sisters." and if any scandal about a woman was mooted, the conversation was at once quietly turned into another and more profitable channel. a word of homely advice from you to your sons with regard to our streets at night: never to loiter, but to trudge on quickly, when they would be rarely molested, may be advisable and useful. as to absolute watchfulness with regard to the young maid-servants in your house, this is so obvious a point that it scarcely needs mentioning; though at the same time i have known the most culpably careless arrangements made when the family are away for their summer holidays, young maid-servants being left alone in the house while the young men are still going backwards and forwards to their business; or the whole family going out and no older woman being left in charge of the young domestics. what can one expect but that, having sown moral carelessness, we shall reap corruption? but even with no such culpable neglect of our responsibilities, i do wish we would cultivate more human relations with our servants, and so get them to work more consciously with us in maintaining a high christian tone in our homes. if we would but take a more individual interest in them and their belongings, as we should do with those we count our friends; getting a good situation for the younger sister who is just coming on, possibly giving her a few weeks of good training in our own household; giving the delicate child of the family change of air and good food, even taking in a baby to enable a sick mother to go for a short time into a hospital. all these things i have found possible in my own household. and surely such thought and care for those they hold dear would form a living bond between mistress and servant. if we would take the same thought and care for pleasant breaks in the monotony of our young servants' lives as we do for our own girls, would the servant difficulty press upon us to the same degree? nay, if we could set going a weekly or fortnightly working party with our own servants in some cause which would interest us both, reading out some interesting narrative in connection with it, could we not even in this small way establish a bond of common service and make us feel that we were all working together for the same master, so that our servants might become our helpers, and not, as they sometimes are, our hinderers, in bringing up our children in a high and pure moral atmosphere? but when all things are said and done, i know that with every mother worthy the name there must be moments of deep discouragement and sense of failure--a sense of mistakes made with some difficult nature to which her own gives her but little clue; a sense of difficulties in vain grappled with, of shortcomings in vain striven against. which of us have not had such moments of despondency in the face of a great task? in such moments i have often called to mind one of those parables of nature which are everywhere around us, unseen and unheeded, like those exquisite fresco angels of the old masters, in dim corners of ancient churches, blowing silent trumpets of praise and adoration and touching mute viols into mystic melodies which are lost to us. so thin has the material veil grown under the touch of modern science that everywhere the spiritual breaks through. often in that nameless discouragement before unfinished tasks, unfulfilled aims, and broken efforts, i have thought of how the creative word has fashioned the opal, made it of the same stuff as desert sands, mere silica--not a crystallized stone like a diamond, but rather a stone with a broken heart, traversed by hundreds of small fissures which let in the air, the breath, as the spirit is called in the greek of our new testament; and through these two transparent mediums of such different density it is enabled to refract the light and reflect every lovely hue of heaven, while at its heart burns a mysterious spot of fire. when we feel, therefore, as i have often done, nothing but cracks and desert dust, we can say, "so god maketh his precious opal." our very sense of brokenness and failure makes room for the spirit to enter in, and through his strength made perfect in human weakness we are made able to reflect every tender hue of the eternal loveliness and break up the white light of his truth into those rays which are fittest for different natures; while that hidden lamp of the sanctuary will burn in your heart of hearts for ever a guide to your boy's feet in the devious ways of life. in conclusion, i should like to record an incident full of encouragement to mothers. a young fellow of eighteen or nineteen, whom his widowed mother had brought up on the principles which i have been advocating, said to her one day, "mother, you know that men don't always think like you about poor girls." "alas!" she replied, "i know that but too well; but what makes you say so?" "well, mother, i was with a lot of college fellows yesterday, and they were giving one another the best addresses in the west end to go to." "but didn't you say anything?" "no, i only kept silence. had i said anything, they would only have called me a confounded prig. there were three other fellows who kept silence, and i could see they did not approve, but we none of us spoke up." "oh, my son," exclaimed his mother in great distress, "how are we to help you young fellows? do you think if the clergy were more faithful, they could help you more than they do?" "i don't think they would listen to what a parson says." "then if doctors were to warn you more plainly than they do?" "i don't think it would be of much use; they would not heed; and then a fellow generally goes to a doctor too late." "then what can we do, what can we do?" "well, i think there is only one person who can really help, and that's a fellow's mother--she can save him, if she would only try." doubt not, but earnestly believe. "in every man's breast is to be found a lotus-blossom," says the pretty old indian saying, and, watered by your prayers and your tears, be sure it will blossom into "the white flower of a blameless life." footnotes: [footnote : coventry patmore.] [footnote : the word in greek is the same for woman and wife.] [footnote : white cross publications, e.p. dutton & co., west twenty third street, new york.] [footnote : office of white cross league, dean's yard, westminster abbey, london.] [footnote : the white cross obligations. i. to treat all women with respect, and endeavor to protect them from wrong and degradation. ii. to endeavor to put down all indecent language and coarse jests. iii. to maintain the law of purity as equally binding upon men and women. iv. to endeavor to spread these principles among my companions, and to try and help my younger brothers. v. to use every possible means to fulfil the command, "keep thyself pure."] chapter viii the influence of sisters hitherto i have dealt exclusively with the moral training of boys and young men, but i am aware that i have left out one of the great shaping influences of a boy's life, which certainly comes next to the mother's where it exists--the influence of sisters. the childish hand that he clasps in his is the hand that unconsciously moulds him to higher ends or the reverse. for if the man is the director, the ruler, and defender, "the builder of the house" as he is called in the grand old word husband,[ ] the woman is the shaping and moulding influence of life; and if god has placed her in the power of the man, both through the weakness of her frame and the strength of her affections, on the other hand he has given into her hands the keys of his being, and according as he fulfils or abuses his trust towards her, she opens or closes the door of higher life to him.[ ] i often wonder whether we women sufficiently realize this truth for ourselves or our girls. walter bagehot used to say in his blind, masculine way, "it's a horrid scrape to be a woman,"--a sentiment which, i fear, will find some echo in the hearts of a good many women themselves. but is it so? if to the man chiefly belongs power in all its forms, does not the woman wield as her portion that far more potent but wholly silent, and often unnoticed thing, influence? not the storm, or the earthquake, or the strong wind, but the still, small voice: the benediction of dews and gentle rains, the mute beatitudes of still waters flowing through sun-parched lands and transforming them into "fruitful fields that the lord hath blest"; the silent but irresistible influence of the sunlight, which in the baby palm of a little leaf becomes a golden key to unlock the secret treasures of the air and build up great oaks out of its invisible elements; the still, small voice of the moral sense, so still, so small, so powerless to enforce its dictates, but before which all the forces of the man do bow and obey, choosing death rather than disobedience--are not all these silent influences emblems of the supreme, shaping, moulding influence that is given to the woman as the "mother of all living," coming without observation, but making far more strongly than any external power for the kingdom of love and light? truly we have a goodly heritage if only we had eyes to see it. alas! that we should have made so little comparative use of it in these great moral questions. alas! that we should have to acknowledge the truth and justice of the poet's words: ah, wasteful woman! she who may on her sweet self set her own price, knowing he cannot choose but pay-- how has she cheapen'd paradise, how given for nought her priceless gift, how spoiled the bread and spilt the wine, which, spent with due respective thrift, had made brutes men, and men divine!"[ ] but even here is there not place for a hopeful thought, that if women have made so little comparative use of their well-nigh irresistible influence in setting a high standard and shaping men to a diviner and less animal type, it has been, as i have already said, chiefly owing to ignorance? the whole of one of the darkest sides of life has been sedulously kept from us. educated mothers, till lately, have been profoundly ignorant of the moral evils of schools, and have never dreamt that that young, frank, fresh-faced lad of theirs had any temptations of the kind. their moral influence, which the poet blames them so strongly for misusing, has been largely, at least with good women, not so much a misused as an undirected force, and we know not, therefore, what that force may accomplish when a larger and truer knowledge enables it to be persistently directed to a conscious aim. this fact, at least, has been stamped into my inmost being, that men will rise to any moral standard which women choose to set them. i ask, therefore, cannot we get our girls to help us here more than we do, without being crippled by the fear of initiating them too much in the evil of the world or destroying that unconscious virginal purity which is, even as things are, so strong and pathetic an influence for good over young men? in the addresses that i have given to large numbers of educated girls, i used often to begin by quoting a passage from the jewish prayer-book. in a general thanksgiving for the mercies of life, the men say: "we thank thee, o lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast not made us a woman." one a little wonders how the poor women could join in this thanksgiving. but in one corner of the page there is a little rubric in very small print which directs, "here shall the women say: 'we thank thee, o lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast made us according unto thy will!'" and, looking upon that bed of spring flowers before me, i used to tell them that it made me feel what a fair and gracious and beautiful thing it was to be made according unto god's will, to be made a woman. now, in the first place, could we not get them to realize this great truth a little more than they do, and not in their heart of hearts to wish that they were men? could we not get them to realize a little more the divine possibilities of their womanhood, and instead of making it their ambition to figure as a weaker form of man, and become lawyers, stockbrokers, and other queer things the modern woman is striving after, to make it their ambition to become stronger and truer women? but how is this to be done? i remember on one occasion, when i was going in the evening to address a mass meeting of working-class girls, a stout, middle-aged lady bustling up to me in a morning conference we were holding, and exclaiming: "and what are you going to say to them? what can you say to them, except to tell them to take care of themselves and keep the men at arm's length?" now, this old-fashioned method, which we have adopted in dealing with the girls of the poor, i contend traverses the central and most fundamental facts of a woman's being. a woman will never find salvation in being told to take care of herself, and least of all for the purpose of keeping the man, for whom she was created to be a helpmate, at arm's length. gospels of self-culture may take seeming root here and there in the exotic woman; but even in her, at some moment of swift passion or strong emotion, they will crumple up and fall off from her like a withered leaf. james hinton knew a woman's nature but too well when he said that she would respond to the appeal "lay down your life" more readily and more surely than to the appeal "take up your rights." she certainly has a most divine power of flinging herself away, whether nobly or ignobly, which forms both her strength and her weakness. but i have never yet known a woman who would not, at any rate to some degree, respond to an appeal to save, not herself, but another: "do not let him do this wrong thing, for his sake. you can do anything you like with a man who loves you. god has given him body and soul into your hands, and you can lift him up into something of his image and make a true man of him; or you can let his love for you sink him into a selfish beast of prey. do not let him do anything that will for ever lower his manhood, but use your power over him to keep him true to all that is best and highest in him." i have never yet known the woman who will not be moved by such an appeal as this. in other words, the central motive force of a woman's nature, the key of her whole being, is, and must ever be, the mother in her, that divine motherhood which is at the heart of every woman worthy of the name, married or unmarried. it is this divine motherhood, which all evolution, the whole "process of the suns," has gone to strengthen, and which christianity has enshrined at her very heart--it is this that makes her for ever the christ factor in the world, the supreme expression of the redeeming love--that care of the strong for the weak which even in nature comes trembling into existence beneath the tender wing of the nesting bird, or forces itself into notice in the fierce lioness's care for her whelps, and which we believe will work out the ultimate consummation of the "whole creation that groaneth and travaileth in pain until now." and i contend that if we are to have in the future such women as lady augusta stanley, round whose lifeless form were united in one common sorrow the queen on her throne and the poorest of the poor, such women as browning's wife and browning's mother, of whom he used to say, with a slight tremor in his voice, "she was a divine woman," it will be by strengthening and appealing to this element of divine motherhood in a woman's nature. what i would, therefore, teach the girls is this: that they have got to mother the boys, that they are the guardians of all that is best and highest in them, of all that makes for the chivalrous american gentleman, and that their womanhood should therefore be to them a fountain of fine manners, of high thoughts, and noble actions. i would rub into their very bones, if i could, the old saw i have already quoted: "a man is what a woman makes him"; that if there were more high womanhood there would be less low manhood; and that if the boys are rude and rough and slangy, and loutish in their manner to women, the blame lies with their sisters who, in their foolish fondness and indulgence, or in their boyish camaraderie, have allowed them to slouch up into a slovenly manhood. the man at most is the fine prose of life, but the woman ought to be its poetry and inspiration. it is her hand that sets its key, whether "to feed the high tradition of the world," or add to its low discords. surely ruskin's noble words apply here: "it is the type of an eternal truth that the soul's armor is never well set to the heart unless a woman's hand has braced it; and it is only when she has braced it loosely that the honor of manhood fails"; or those other still stronger and nobler words of frederick robertson's: "there are two rocks in a man's life on which he must either anchor or split: god and woman." and could we not appeal to our girls to make their womanhood a rock which bears a light to all in peril on the rough sea of life--a light to save from moral shipwreck and lead to the safe haven beneath the rock of ages? surely we might appeal to them, in the name of their own brothers and others with whom they are intimately thrown, to work out these higher possibilities of their own womanhood; not to lower it by picking up slang words from their brothers--a woman ought to be above coarsening and vulgarizing god's great gift of speech--not to engage in games or romps that involve a rude rough-and-tumble with boys, which may develop a healthy hoyden, but is utterly destructive of the gracious dignity of the true woman; not to adopt fast ways of either dress or bearing which lead to young men making remarks behind their backs which they ought not to make on any woman; above all, never in girlish flightiness, or, worse still, in order to boast of the number of offers they have received, to flirt or trifle in any way with a man's affections; but to remember that to every man they have to make a woman only the other name for truth and constancy. god only knows the number of young men who have received their first downward bent from what to a young girl, in the wilfulness of her high spirits and her ignorance of life, has been only a bit of fun, but which to the young man has been the first fatal break in his faith in woman--that faith which in his soul dwells so hard by his faith in the divine that in making shipwreck of the one is only too likely to make shipwreck of the other. as to the mothers who send out their young girls into society the victims of their fashionable dressmakers, to be a fountain, not of high, pure thoughts to young men, but a spring of low temptations and impure suggestions, i do not blame the young girls here; but surely the severest blame is due to the criminal folly, or worse, of their mothers, who must know what the consequences of immodest dressing necessarily are to the inflammable mind of youth. but that that unlovely phenomenon "the girl of the period," is also deeply to blame for the lowered traditions of english society, and consequently of english manhood, i have only too sorrowfully to acknowledge. i remember mrs. herbert of vauxhall telling a very fashionable audience how on one occasion she had to rebuke a young man moving in the first london society for using some contemptuous expression with regard to women, and was led to appeal very earnestly to him to reverence all women for his mother's sake. he turned upon her with a sort of divine rage and said: "i long to reverence women, but the girls i meet with in society won't let me. they like me to make free with them; they like me to talk to them about doubtful subjects, and they make me"--and he ground his teeth as he said it--"what i just hate myself for being." alas! alas! can sadder words knell in a woman's ears than these? but side by side with this desecrating womanhood there rises up before me the vision of a young girl, not english, nor american, but french--now a mature woman, with girls and boys of her own, but who in her young days was the very embodiment of all that i have been urging that our girls might become to their brothers. she was a daughter of the great french preacher, frederick monod, and had an only brother who was all in all to her. she knew enough of the evil of the world to know that a medical student in paris was exposed to great temptations; and she was resolved, so far as she could, to make her womanhood a crystal shield between him and them. she entered into all his pursuits; she took an interest in all his friends and companions; she had always leisure for sympathy and counsel in his difficulties and troubles. she had a little room of her own to which she used to get him to come every evening and talk over the day with her, so that she might keep herself heart to heart with him in all that concerned him. she even overcame her girlish reserve, and would get him to kneel down by her side and pour out her sweet girlish heart in prayer that god would guide him in all his ways, and keep him unspotted from the world. years after, when he was a married man, with boys of his own, he said to her: "you little know all that you were to me as a young man. my temptations were so maddening that i used sometimes to think that i must yield to them and do as other young men did all round me. but then a vision of you used to rise up before me, and i used to say to myself: 'no; if i do this thing, i can never go and sit with her in her own little room; i can never look into her dear face again.'" and the thought of that young girl, the angel of her presence in the midst of the furnace, kept that young man unspotted from the world through all the gutters of paris life. could not our sweet english and american girls be to their brothers what that young french girl was to hers? but perhaps some pessimistic mother will exclaim, "what is the use of making these old-fashioned appeals to our modern girls? they are so taken up with the delights of their freedom, so absorbed in the pleasure of cycling and athletic games, so full of manly ambitions, so persuaded that the proper cultivated attitude is to be an agnostic, and to look at god and the universe through a sceptical and somewhat supercilious eyeglass, that if we did make an appeal to them such as you suggest they would only laugh at such old-fashioned notions." i can only say that i have not found it so. i can bear the highest testimony at least to our english girls, of whom i have addressed thousands, all over the three kingdoms. occasionally it has happened that maturer women have left me stranded, stretching out hands of vain appeal to them; but my girls, my dear girls, never once failed me. not only could i see by the expression of their faces how deeply they responded to my appeal to work out the latent possibilities of their womanhood, and be the uplifting influence to their brothers, and other young men with whom they were thrown, that a true woman can be; but they came forward in troops to take up the position i assigned to them in our woman's movement towards a higher and purer life. nobly did those young girls respond, joining a movement for opening club-rooms and classes for working girls, a movement initiated not by me, but by educated girls like themselves, and which has since spread all over england and scotland. and if this is true of our english girls, still more would it be true of the american girl, who has a unique position and influence of her own, and is dowered with that peculiar capacity and graciousness which seem to belong by divine right to the american woman. i cannot but think that if we were to teach our girls less in religious phraseology and more from the great realities of life; if they were taught that christianity is only human life rightly seen and divinely ordered, that the cross is only the uncovering of what is going on all round us, though hidden to a careless gaze,--the sin, the pain, the misery, which are forever crucifying and forever calling forth that great passion of redeeming love to which, through the motherhood that is in us, "one touch of nature makes us kin"; and that the central truth of christianity is not, as we have too often taught, saving our own souls, but a life poured out for the good of others, and personal salvation as a means for having a life to pour forth--i cannot but think that much fashionable girlish agnosticism would disappear, and the true woman would reach forth to that divine humanity to which she belongs. footnotes: [footnote : husband is derived from two words--"house" and the saxon word to "build," german _bauen_.] [footnote : see a little white cross paper called _my little sister_, which i wish mothers would get into the hands of their sons just entering into manhood to read, mark, learn, digest. (wells gardner, darton and co.)] [footnote : coventry patmore.] chapter ix the modern woman and her future up to this point i have dealt only with the great shaping and moulding principles of life, with indirect influence rather than direct. how far direct teaching on matters of sex should be given to our girls has been a far greater perplexity to me than in the case of boys. in the present state of our schools and our streets our boys must get to know evil. hitherto it was possible to say that our girls _might_ get to know evil, and between that "must" and "might" lay a great and perplexing chasm. we do not want our garden lilies to smell of anything but pure dews and rains and sun-warmed fragrance. but is this ideal possible any longer, except in a few secluded country homes, where, hidden like keats's nightingale "among the leaves," they may remain innocent and ignorant of the world's evil? but with the ordinary conditions of the present day, with the greater freedom accorded to women, the wider range of education, involving a wider range of reading, with modern newspapers left about, i ask, how is it possible for a mother to keep her girls in ignorance and unconscious innocence? a volume of short stories comes into the house from the circulating library; they are clever and apparently absolutely harmless. yet embedded in the heart of one such volume, which shall be nameless, i came upon a story almost as vile as anything in a french novel, and conveying the most corrupt knowledge. how, i ask, can a busy mother read through every book of short stories before letting it fall into the hands of her girls; or how, if they are to read latin and greek, or even carefully to study our own old literature, is she to guard them from a knowledge of evil conveyed in classical allusions, or in the coarse plainness of speech of an earlier age? i know as a fact, whether we recognize it or not, that behind our mature backs our girls are discussing these moral problems with quite an alarming amount of freedom, and some at least, guided by no teaching, and with no practical knowledge of the great laws of human life, are coming to quite startling conclusions, which would make their mothers' hair stand on end. and one most undesirable, and i may add unnatural, result noticeable among the more advanced section is a certain distaste for marriage, a tendency to look upon it as something low and animal, which strikes me as simply a fatal attitude for women to take up. have we not, therefore, got clearly to recognize that the old order has changed, giving place to new, and requiring, therefore, new methods. we may or we may not like the new order, but it is _there_. under the changed conditions of modern life it is inevitable; therefore it must be in the providence of god; it cannot be wholly bad, and if we will work in with it loyally, and not thrust it aside for some old order of our own, it may be, nay, it will be, wholly for good. let us remember that the two most conservative organic forms, the two that have most resisted progressive evolution, are the donkey and the goose. to ignore the new order, to cling to the old views and methods, is to court moral extinction as a living force. as well think to find safety in escaping from the advance of an express engine by adopting the stately pace of our grandmothers, which was perfectly adapted for getting out of the way of a lumbering stage-coach. may not he "whose large plan ripens slowly to a whole" be working out a progressive ideal such as we trace in the great spiritual records of our race? the bible, thank god! neither begins nor ends with sin; but it begins with a sinless garden, it ends with a strong city of god, with evil known and recognized, but cast out beyond its walls. may he not be leading us to form a wiser, deeper, stronger ideal; to aim for our girls not so much at innocence, with her fading wreath of flowers--fading, as, alas! they must ever fade in a world like this--but to aim at virtue, with her victor's crown of gold, tried in the fire? may it not be that his divine providence is constraining us to take as our ideal for our womanhood, not the old sheltered garden, but a strong city of god, having foundations, whose very gates are made of pearl, through which nothing that defileth is suffered to enter, and whose common ways are paved with pure gold, gold of no earthly temper, but pure and clear as crystal;--a city of refuge for all who are oppressed with wrong, and from which all foul forms of evil are banned by the one word "_without_"? sure i am that if we will accept this deeper and larger ideal, and endeavor, however imperfectly, to work it out on the earth, in the midst of it, as in the old garden ideal, will be found the tree of life; but then its very leaves will be for the healing of the nations. but whether you go with me as far as this or not, i think you will agree with me that we must not leave our girls to their own crude notions on the deepest matters of life. still less must we leave them to get their teaching on marriage and matters of sex from some modern novels, which i can only characterize as tuberculosis of the moral sense, but from which, as i have already pointed out, we cannot always guard them. we must give them direct teaching of some kind. first, i think our girls, as well as our boys, need far more direct teaching than has been customary as to the sanctity of the body. this is especially true of girls who are sent to boarding-schools, as some of the moral evils of boys' schools are not, i am sorry to say, altogether unknown in girls' schools, though, as far as i can ascertain, the evil is much less in extent, and in some is non-existent. still, all girls need to be taught that the body is the temple of the lord and giver of life, and that from the crown of their heads to the sole of their feet those bodies belong to christ. secondly, i think that they ought to have some such teaching about life and birth as that which i have already recommended for boys, that they may see how through the marital tie and the consequent rise of the parental relation, a world of blind mechanical force gradually developed into a world of life and beauty, and at last crowned itself with a conscious love in an indissoluble union, which makes marriage the very type of the union of the soul with god, of christ with his church. thirdly, they need to be taught that much in their own physical constitution, which they rebel against as handicapping them in the struggle of life, is nature's provision for them that no merely physical function should press upon them as we see it do in the animal creation at certain periods of the year, but that they should be free to serve god, whether in the married or in the unmarried state, in quietness and godly living. fourthly, above all they need definite teaching on the true nature, the sanctity, and the beauty of marriage. it appears that the line of progress is always a spiral, and it would seem as if we were in the backward sweep of the spiral which looks like retrogression, but will doubtless bring us out further up in the end. the masculine view that marriage is the one aim and end of a woman's existence, adopted also by some careful mothers, is now exploded. young men are no longer led to look upon every girl that they meet as furtively, to use a vulgarism, "setting her cap for him," and only too ready to fling herself at his feet. so far so good. but have we not suffered our girls to drift into the opposite extreme? in the heyday of their bright young life, with so many new interests and amusements open to them, in the pride of their freedom and independence, they are no longer so inclined to marry, and are even apt to look down upon the married state. they form so high an ideal of the man to whom they would surrender their independence--an ideal which they fortunately do not apply to their fathers and brothers, whom they find it quite possible to love on a far lower and more human level--that because a man does not fulfil this ideal, and is not a fairy prince dowered with every possible gift, they refuse men who, though not angels, would have made them happy as wife and mother. would not a little sound, sensible teaching be of great good here? could we not point out that, though in so vital and complex a union as the family there must be some seat of ultimate authority, some court of final appeal somewhere, and that the woman herself would not wish it to rest anywhere else than in the man, if she is to respect him; yet there is no subservience on the part of the wife in the obedience she renders, but rather in south's grand words, "it is that of a queen to her king, who both owns a subjection and remains a majesty"? cannot we contend against this falsehood of the age which seems so to underlie our modern life, and which inclines us to look upon all obedience as a slavish thing--that obedience which "doth preserve the stars from wrong," and through which "the most ancient heavens are fresh and strong"; that obedience which when absolute and implicit to the divine will is "a service of perfect freedom"? it is the profession which exacts unquestionable obedience that forms the finest school for character, as i have already pointed out. we do not hear of a wellington or a roberts refusing to enter the service because they could not give up their independence. our military heroes at least know that it is through discipline and obedience that they gain their real independence--the independence of a strong character. again, our girls need to be taught not only that there is nothing derogatory in the married relation to the freest and fullest independence of character, but surely in these days of open advocacy by some popular writers of "les unions libres" and a freedom of divorce that comes to much the same thing, they need to be taught the sanctity of marriage--those first principles which hitherto we have taken for granted, but which now, like everything else, is thrown into the crucible and brought into question. they need definite teaching as to the true nature of marriage; that it is no mere contract to be broken or kept according to the individual contractor's convenience--i never yet heard of a contract for bringing into existence, not a successful machine, but a moral and spiritual being with infinite possibilities of weal or woe, of heaven or hell--but a sacramental union of love and life, with sacramental grace given to those who will seek it to live happily and endure nobly within its sacred bounds--a union so deep and mystical that even on its physical side our great physiologists are wholly at a loss to account for some of its effects;[ ] a union of which permanence is the very essence, as on its permanence rests the permanence and stability of the whole fabric of our life. it can never be treated on an individualistic basis, though that is always the tendency with every man and woman who has ever loved. in mrs. humphry ward's words: "that is always the way; each man imagines the matter is still for his deciding, and he can no more decide it than he can tamper with the fact that fire burns or water drowns. all these centuries the human animal has fought with the human soul. and step by step the soul has registered her victories. she has won them only by feeling for the law and finding it--uncovering, bringing into light the firm rocks beneath her feet. and on these rocks she rears her landmarks--marriage, the family, the state, the church. neglect them and you sink into the quagmire from which the soul of the race has been for generations struggling to save you."[ ] fall on this rock, stumble into unhappiness and discontent, as so many do in marriage, and you will be broken. but be faithful to it and to the high traditions which generations of suffering men and women have worked out for you, and you will be broken as the bud is broken into the blossom, as the acorn is broken into the oak--broken into a higher and stronger life. on the other hand rebel against it, attempt to drag it down or cast it from its place, and it will crush you, and grind some part of your higher nature to powder. how strangely and sadly is this shown in the case of one of our greatest writers, who thought that the influence of her writings would far outweigh the influence of her example, but whose name and example are now constantly used by bad men to overcome the virtue of young educated girls struggling alone in london, and often half starving on the miserable pittance which is all they can earn. but still more is it shown in the life of the nation which tampers with the laws of marriage and admits freedom of divorce. either such suits must be heard _in camera_ without the shame of exposure, when divorce is so facilitated that the family and the state rest rather on a superstructure of rickety boards than on a rock; or they must be heard in public court and form a moral sewer laid on to the whole nation, poisoning the deepest springs of its life, and through that polluted life producing far more individual misery than it endeavors to remedy in dissolving an unhappy marriage. god only knows what i suffered when a _cause célèbre_ came on, and i felt that the whole nation was being provided with something worse and more vitally mischievous than the most corrupt french novel. deeply do i regret--and in this i think most thoughtful minds will agree with me--that the reformers in their inevitable rebound from the superstitions of rome, rejected her teaching of the sacramental nature of marriage, which has made so many protestant nations tend to that freedom of divorce which is carried to so great an extent in some parts of america, and is spreading, alas! to many of our own colonies--a laxity fatally undermining the sanctity and stability of the family. if marriage be not a sacrament, an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual life and grace, i ask what is? i would therefore earnestly beseech you to oppose your direct teaching to the whole tendency of modern life, and to much of the direct teaching of modern fiction--even of so great a novelist as george meredith--which inculcates the subordination of the marriage bond to what is called the higher law of love, or rather, passion. in teaching your sons, and especially your girls, who are far more likely to be led astray by this specious doctrine, base marriage not on emotion, not on sentiment, but on duty. to build upon emotion, with the unruly wills and affections of sinful men, is to build, not upon the sand, but upon the wind. there is but one immovable rock on which steadfast character, steadfast relations, steadfast subordination of the lower and personal desires, to the higher and immutable obligations and trusts and responsibilities of life can be built--duty. when this rock has been faithfully clung to, when in the midst of disillusionment and shattered ideals the noble resolution has been clung to never to base personal happiness on a broken trust or another's pain, i have over and over again known the, most imperfect marriage prove in the end to be happy and contented. here again i quote some words of mrs. humphry ward, which she puts into the mouth of her hero: "no," he said with deep emphasis--"no; i have come to think the most disappointing and hopeless marriage, nobly borne, to be better worth having than what people call an 'ideal passion'--if the ideal passion must be enjoyed at the expense of one of those fundamental rules which poor human nature has worked out, with such infinite difficulty and pain, for the protection and help of its own weakness,"[ ] i am aware that neither mr. grant allen with his "hill-top" novels, nor mrs. mona caird need be taken too seriously, but when the latter says, "there is something pathetically absurd in this sacrifice to their children of generation after generation of grown people,"[ ] i would suggest that it would be still more pathetically absurd to see the whole upward-striving past, the whole noble future of the human race, sacrificed to their unruly wills and affections, their passions and desires. if as goldwin smith says in his rough, incisive way, "there is not much union of heart in marriage, i do not see that there would be any more union of heart in adultery." i have dwelt thus earnestly upon this point because the sooner we realize for ourselves and our girls that any relaxation of the marriage bond will in its disastrous consequences fall upon us, and not upon men, the better. it is the woman who first grows old and loses her personal attractions, while a man often preserves his beauty into extreme old age. it is the burdened mother of a family who cannot compete in companionship with the highly cultured young unmarried lady, with the leisure to post herself up in the last interesting book or the newest political movement. it is the man who is the more variable in his affections than the woman; more constant as she is by nature, as well as firmly anchored down by the strength of her maternal love. it is therefore on the woman that any loosening of the permanence of the marriage tie will chiefly fall in untold suffering. "le mariage c'est la justice," say the french, who have had experience enough of "les unions libres"--justice to the wife and mother, securing her the stability of her right to her husband's affections, the stability to her right of maintenance after she has given up her means of support, above all, the stability of her right to the care of her own children. if we want to study the innate misery to women arising from the relaxation of the married tie, or transient unions, we had better read professor dowden's _life of shelley_--misery not the result of public stigma, for there was no such stigma in the circle in which shelley moved, but misery brought about by the facts themselves, and producing state of things which matthew arnold could only characterize by the untranslatable french word "_sale_." but nearer home, one of your most brilliant writers, mr. henry james, has given us an equally profitable study in his novelette, _what maisie knew_, which i presume is intended as a satire on freedom of divorce, but which again can only be characterized by the french word "_sale_." i confess it does fill me with sardonic laughter to find this oldest and stalest of all experiments, this oldest and flattest of failures, paraded as a brand new and original panacea for all the woes of our family life,--woes which, if nobly borne, at least make "perfect through suffering." there is but one great rock-hewn dam successfully reared against the lawless passions of men and women, and that is christian marriage. it has at least given us the christian home, and pure family life. and sometimes it fills me with despair to see enlightened nations, like america and australia, whittling away and slowly undermining this great bulwark against the devastating sea of human passion. if only i could feel that any poor words of mine could in any faint measure rouse american women to set themselves against what must in the end affect the depth and steadfastness of those family affections on which the beauty and solidity of the national character mainly rest, i should feel indeed i had not lived in vain. at least i can claim that one of your greatest women, frances willard, was heart and soul with me on this point. and now to descend to lower levels. could we not do a little more to save our young girls from sacrificing their happiness to false ideals by opportunely obtruding a little mature common-sense into their day visions and their inexperienced way of looking at things? it is all very well in the heyday of life, when existence is full of delight and home affection, to refuse a man who could make them happy, because they don't quite like the shape of his nose, or because he is a little untidy in his dress, or simply because they are waiting for some impossible demigod to whom alone they could surrender their independence. but could we not mildly point out that darker days must come, when life will not be all enjoyment, and that a lonely old age, with only too possible penury to be encountered, must be taken into consideration? god knows i am no advocate for loveless, and least of all for mercenary marriages, but i think we want some _viâ media_ between the french _mariage de convenance_ and our english and american method of leaving so grave a question as marriage entirely to the whimsies and romantic fancies of young girls. we need not go back to the old fallacy that marriage is the aim and end of a woman's existence, and absolutely necessary for her happiness. some women are doubtless called to be mothers of the race, and to do the social work which is so necessary to our complex civilization. some women may feel themselves called to some literary or artistic pursuit, or some other profession, for which they require the freedom of unmarried life. but i think i shall carry most women with me in saying that for the ordinary woman marriage is the happiest state, and that she rarely realizes the deepest and highest in her nature except in wifehood and motherhood. rarely, indeed, can any public work that she can do for the world equal the value of that priceless work of building up, stone by stone, the temple of a good man's character which falls to the lot of his mother. truly is she called the wife, the weaver, since day and night, without hasting and without resting, she is weaving the temple hangings, wrought about with pomegranates and lilies, of the very shrine of his being. and if our girls could be led to see this, at least it would overcome that adverseness to marriage which many are now so curiously showing, and which inevitably makes them more fastidious and fanciful in their choice, and, on the other hand, without falling back into the old match-making mamma, exposing her wares in the marriage market to be knocked down to the highest bidder, might not parents recognize a little more than they do how incumbent on them it is to make every effort to give their daughters that free and healthy intercourse with young men which would yield them a wider choice, and which forms the best method for insuring a happy marriage? at least, let us open our eyes to the fact that we are face to face with some terrible problems with regard to the future of our girls. with safe investments yielding less and less interest, it must become more and more difficult to make a provision for the unmarried daughters; and if the money is spent instead on training them to earn their own bread, we are still met by the problem of the early superannuation of women's labor, which rests on physical causes, and cannot therefore be removed. this at least is no time to despise marriage, or for women of strong and independent character to adopt an attitude which deprives the nation of many of its noblest mothers. but if we are to facilitate marriage, which must form, at any rate, the main solution of the problems of the near future to which i have alluded, if we are to prevent, or even lessen, the degradation of women, if we are to extinguish this pit of destruction in our midst, into which so many a fair and promising young life disappears, and which perpetually threatens the moral and physical welfare of our own sons, if we are to stay the seeds of moral decay in our own nation, we must be content to revolutionize much in the order of our own life, and adopt a lower and simpler standard of living. it is we, and not men, who set the standard; it is we who have been guilty of the vulgar ambition of following the last social fashion, and doing as our richer neighbors do, until in england we have made our girls such expensive articles that many young men simply dare not indulge in them, and are led to seek in their luxurious clubs the comfort which they should find in a home of their own, with all that relaxation of moral fibre which comes from club life. do we seriously think that we are likely successfully to contend against the degradation of women by our rescue societies and our refuges when we are deliberately bringing about a social condition that ministers to it? "oh, of course," said a near relative of my own, "no girl can marry comfortably and live in london with less than a thousand a year." all i can answer is that if this be so, it means the degradation of women writ large. and have we even secured the happiness of our own daughters by this high standard of living which prevents so many of them from marrying at all? these unmarried girls, with no worthy object in life to call out the noble energies that lie dormant within them, "lasting" rather than "living,"--are they really happy? is not robert louis stevenson right when he says that "the ideal of the stalled ox is the one ideal that will never satisfy either man or woman"? were not the hardships of a smaller income and a larger life--a life that would at least satisfy a woman's worst foe, heart hunger,--more adapted to their true nature, their true happiness? and to what further admirable results have we attained by this high standard of comfort and luxury? nature has carefully provided for the equality of the sexes by sending rather more boys than girls into the world, since fewer boys are reared; but we have managed to derange this order. we have sent our boys out into the world, but we have kept our girls at home, refusing to allow them to rough it with husbands and brothers or to endure the least hardness. the consequence is that we have nearly a million of surplus women in the old country, while in america, and in our own colonies, we have a corresponding surplus of men, with all the evil moral consequences that belong to a disproportion between the sexes. truly we may congratulate ourselves! i would therefore urge that if we are really to grapple with these moral evils, we should simplify our standard of living, and educate our girls very differently to what, at least in england, we are doing. culture is good, and the more we have of it the better; it gives a woman a wider sphere of influence, as well as more enlightened methods of using that influence. but if dead languages are to take the place of living service; if high mathematics are to work out a low plane of cooking and household management; if a first class in moral science is to involve third class performance of the moral duties involved in family life, then i deliberately say it were better that, like tennyson's mother, we should be "not learned save in gracious household ways." i protest with the uttermost earnestness against the care of human life, of human health, and of human comfort being considered a lower thing and of less importance than good scholarship; or that, when we recognize that months and even years will have to be devoted to the attainment of the one, the arts by which we can fulfil those great human trusts which devolve more or less upon every woman can be practised without ever having been learnt at all. do not misunderstand me. do not think i am decrying a classical education; and, as the daughter of a great mathematician, it is not likely that i should underrate mathematics as a mental discipline. i am only urging that they should be subordinated to higher and more practical issues. i am thankfully aware that these remarks do not apply to american women to the same degree in which they apply to our english girls. the paucity of domestic servants, and the consequent pressure of necessity, have saved you from the fine lady ideal which we have adopted for our girls and the exclusively book education into which we have almost unconsciously drifted. you have been constrained to choose some nobler type on which to mould your scheme of female education than that of the tadpole, which is all head, no hands, a much active and frivolous tail. your girls are brought up not to consider it beneath them to take part in the work of the house; and something of the all round capability of american women which so strikes us is doubtless owing to their not having incurred "this nemesis of disproportion," and therefore to their combining intellectual culture with practical efficiency. why we should have taken this fine lady ideal for our girls, when we take such a much more practical standard for our boys, has always puzzled me. if an excellent opening offered itself to one of our sons at a bank, we should agree with his father in expecting him to take it, though it would involve the drudgery of sitting in a cramped attitude on a tall stool for hours and hours every day. why should we accept life's necessary drudgery for our boys and refuse it for our girls? no life worth living can be had without drudgery,--the most brilliant as well as the dullest. darwin spent eight of the best years of his life in an exhaustive investigation into the organization of a barnacle--labor accompanied, as all intellectual work was with him, by a constant sense of physical nausea from which he suffered, till, from sheer weariness and disgust at the drudgery, he ends his researches in his emphatic way with the exclamation, "d---- the barnacles!" at least a woman's household drudgery does not end in a barnacle, or in dead coin, but in a living and loved personality whose comfort and health it secures. blessed is drudgery, the homely mother of patience, "that young and rose-lipped cherubim," of quiet endurance, of persistency in well-doing, of all the stablest elements of character. do not let us refuse to our girls the divine hardness which is the very heart of a diviner joy and of that "fuller life" of "which our veins are scant," nor refuse for them and for ourselves the words of life: "as the father hath sent me into the world, even so send i you"; but be content to send them into the world to love, to suffer, to endure, to live and die for the good of others. footnotes: [footnote : see some curious facts given in darwin's _origin of species_.] [footnote : _david grieve_, by mrs. humphry ward, sixth edition, p. .] [footnote : _david grieve_, p. .] [footnote : _nineteenth century_, may, .] chapter x national and imperial aspects i cannot conclude these imperfect suggestions as to how we may best carry up the moral training of our children, and especially of our boys, to a higher level, without touching on the wider and national aspect of the problems we have been considering. especially is this necessary in relation to that attribute which, in common parlance, arrogates to itself the name that covers the vast sweep of all moral obligation and calls itself emphatically "morality." "language," dr. martineau has finely said, "is the great confessional of the human heart"; and it may be in some instinctive sense that this question of personal purity or the reverse is the determining force for good or evil to the nation, as well as to the family, that has given this restricted sense to the words "morality" and "immorality." yet we are possessed with an inveterate and almost irreclaimable tendency to look at the question of purity of life from a purely individualistic standpoint, and to regard it as a matter concerning the individual rather than the social organism. in electing a member for the legislature how often have we not been told that we are only concerned with his public career, and have nothing whatever to do with his private life, though the private life is only another expression for the man himself; and how can we be called upon to entrust the destinies of our country to a libertine who habitually violates the obligations of his own manhood and does his best to lower and degrade the womanhood of the people he is called as a member of the legislature to protect and to raise? when shall we learn that whatever touches the higher life and well-being of the family still more vitally affects the wider family of the state, and threatens its disintegration? the family in some lower form will survive in the most corrupt form of society; but the state, as an organized polity, capable of embodying, preserving, and promoting the higher life of the nation, perishes. i am the more led to dwell earnestly on these wider aspects, since that great epoch-making commemoration which marked the sixtieth year of the reign of our queen, and which brought home to the consciousness of the nation, as nothing else has ever done, its vast world-wide responsibilities. that great national festival, with its proud imperial note, in which we celebrated the rise and progress of that "larger venice with no narrow canals, but the sea itself for streets," will forever form a landmark in english history. none who witnessed it will ever forget that spectacle, of men of all races and color, of all creeds and traditions, assembled together as brothers and fellow-subjects, to do honor to a woman's gracious sway of sixty years. and is there not a deep significance in the fact that these men of warring creeds and opposed traditions came together to do homage to no commanding personality, no semiramis or boadicea of old, no catherine of russia or elizabeth of england; but to a sovereign whose chief characteristic has been that of being a true woman, with a true woman's instinctive sagacity and wisdom of the heart: a woman with no glamour of youth and beauty, but bowed with the weight of years and widowhood and cares of state; a queen who, on the morning of her crowning triumph, sent forth no royal proclamation couched in set and pompous periods, but laid her trembling hands on the bowed head of her people, and gave them a simple mother's blessing: "tell my beloved people that i pray from the bottom of my heart that god may bless them"? may i not take it as the very embodiment of all that i have been urging on the women of this day, the immense possibilities of good that lie latent in our womanhood, the vast issues of good to the nation, and through it to the world, if that womanhood is only true to itself? for let us clearly realize that this great moral question is no question confined to the narrow limits of the home, but a question of the rise and fall of nations. this is a truism of history. all history teaches us that the welfare and very life of a nation is determined by moral causes; and that it is the pure races that respect their women and guard them jealously from defilement that are the tough, prolific, ascendant races, the noblest in type and the most fruitful in propagating themselves. you will never find a permanently progressive race where the position of women is low, the men libertine, and the state of society corrupt. what was it that made the most brilliant civilization the world has ever seen--the civilization which still gives us the inexhaustible wells of our intellectual life--what was it that made it the shortest-lived? few, i think, would deny that the rapid decadence of greece, despite her splendid intellectual life, was due to moral causes. not the pure, but the impure--the brilliant hetairæ--were the companions of men, and the men themselves were stained with nameless vices. speaking of the decay of the athenian people, mr. francis galton says: "we know, and may guess something more, of the reason why this marvellously gifted race declined. social morality grew exceedingly lax; marriage became unfashionable and was avoided; many of the more ambitious and accomplished women were avowed courtesans, and consequently infertile; and the mothers of the incoming population were of a heterogeneous class."[ ] what was it that made the egyptian civilization one of the longest-lived of ancient civilizations? was it not, as we now find by her monuments, that the position of women was high; the wife was enthroned by the side of her husband, and impurity was condemned by the moral sense of the nation? what was it that enabled our barbaric ancestors, the teutons, to overthrow the whole power of civilized rome? on the authority of tacitus, we know that they were singularly pure. their women were held in the highest reverence, and believed to have something divine about them, some breath of prophetic insight. their young men were not allowed to marry till they were five-and-twenty--in other words, till their frame was thoroughly matured. impurity before marriage was strongly discountenanced in both sexes. therefore the whole power of rome, honeycombed as it was by moral corruption and sexual vice, could not stand before these pure barbarians. and if these mighty civilizations have perished from moral causes, do we really think that the moral law--will "of which the solid earth and sky are but the fitful shadows cast on high"-- suspend its operation out of compliment to the greatness of the british empire or of the american republic, if they, too, become morally corrupt; or will not those old vanished nations, in the magnificent words of the hebrew prophet, greet the phantom of their departed greatness in the land of shadows: "what, art thou, also, become weak as we? art thou also like unto us? thy pomp is brought down to the grave; the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee." "we talk of our greatness," says mr. froude; "do we really know in what a nation's greatness consists? whether it be great or little depends entirely on what sort of men and women it is producing. a sound nation is a nation that is made up of sound human beings, healthy in body, strong of limb, true in word and deed, brave, sober, temperate, and chaste, to whom morals are of more importance than wealth or knowledge; where duty is first and the rights of man are second; where, in short, men grow up, and live, and work, having in them what our ancestors called 'the fear of god.' it is to form a character of this kind that human beings are sent into the world. unless england's greatness in this sense has the principle of growth in it, it were better for us that a millstone were hanged about our neck, and that we were drowned in the midst of the sea." "i feel more and more," said mrs. fawcett in words addressed to a great meeting of men in the manchester free trade hall--words that i wish could be written upon every heart--" that the great question whether the relations of men and women shall be pure and virtuous or impure and vile lies at the root of all national well-being and progress. the main requisite towards a better state of things than now exists cannot be brought about by any outside agency. there is no royal road to virtue and purity. law can do something to punish wickedness, but improvement in the law is mainly valuable as an indication that the public standard of morality is raised. let us get good laws if we can; but there is only one way of really obtaining a nobler national existence, and that is by each of us individually learning to hate and detest the vile self-indulgence that covers the life of those who are the victims of it with shame and degradation. self-control and respect for the rights of others are the only cure for the terrible national danger which threatens us. if men and women would learn never to take pleasure in what brings pain, shame, misery, and moral death to others, earth would be turned into a heaven. it would be incredible if it were not true that for mere selfish indulgence thousands of men are willing to drag women down to what even these men themselves recognize as the lowest dregs of humanity. where is their chivalry? where is their common humanity? some would say that such men do not possess either. for my part, i do not believe this. let women thankfully acknowledge that, so far as other matters are concerned, they are constantly indebted to the chivalrous self-sacrifice of men. chivalry is not dead; generous self-sacrifice is not dead; but in far too many cases, with regard to the all-important question of personal purity, they are sleeping. our efforts must be directed to awakening them. we must try and make men realize the callous cruelty of all actions which lower the womanhood of even the poorest and most degraded of women." and if we refuse, sunk in our own selfish interests and pleasures, and content that the daughters of the people should perish as long as our own are safe, then it will not be by an european coalition that the british empire will perish, it will be by moral decay from within; in blake's rough, strong words: "the harlot's curse from street to street shall be old england's winding sheet." the british empire, the great american republic, the two greatest civilizing, order-spreading, christianizing world-powers ever known, can only be saved by a solemn league and covenant of their women to bring back simplicity of life, plain living, high thinking, reverence for marriage laws, chivalrous respect for all womanhood, and a high standard of purity for men and women alike. suffer me to lay before you three considerations, which will prove to you at once that this great moral question is more vital to our two nations than to any other, and that we are peculiarly vulnerable to the action of moral causes. firstly, england, and in one sense england alone, is the mighty mother of nations. three great nations have already sprung from her loins; a fourth in africa is already in process of consolidation. from the narrow confines of our sea-girt island our people pour into all quarters of the globe; and if we suffer england to know corruption we send forth polluted waters into all lands. your great republic, on the other hand, is a mother of nations in another sense, since she receives into her mighty bosom vast numbers drawn from the suffering peoples of the old world, and gives them a mother's welcome. according as your civilization is high and pure, or low and corrupt, so will those naturalized citizens be. decay with great empires, as with fish, sets in at the head; and the moral decadence of england and america will sensibly lower the moral standard of nearly one-third of the population of the world.[ ] the heart of the two nations is still sound. it is not too late. we are at least free from the continental system, by which the degradation of women is reduced to a systematized slavery, to meet what is openly called a necessity of nature. the comparative purity of englishmen and americans is still a wonder, and often a derision to foreigners. our women are a greater power than in any other country. we still start from a good vantage-ground. england, certainly through no merit of her own, has been called by the providence of god to lead in great moral causes. we led in the matter of slavery--the open sore of the world. we english and american women are now called to lead, in this its hidden sore, for the healing of the nations. secondly, since you have elected to go beyond your own confines and have dependencies, and so take up the white man's burden of civilizing and christianizing the world, your men as well as ours will be exposed to that dangerously lowering influence, contact with lower races and alien civilizations. an englishman in india, if he be not a religious man, is apt to blind himself to wrongs done to womanhood, because those wrongs are often done to a pariah caste who are already set apart for infamy; though i have not yet heard of an englishman possessing himself of slaves on the ground that they were slaves already to their native masters. worse still, in savage or semi-civilized countries the native girl, far from feeling herself degraded, considers that she is raised by any union, however illicit, with a white man. it is the native men who are furious. which of us in england did not feel an ache of shame in our hearts over the plea of the matabele to the white man: "you have taken our lands, and our hunting-grounds are gone. you have taken our herds, and we want for food. you have taken our young men, and made them slaves in your mines. you have taken our women _and done what you like with them_." how many of our native wars may not have had as their cause that last sentence in the plaint of the matabele, a cause carefully concealed from the public eye? for god's sake, let mothers teach their sons that first rudiment in manly character, the recognition that the girls of a conquered race, or of a barbarian tribe inhabiting one of our spheres of influence, from the very fact that they are a conquered race, or, if not conquered, hopelessly and piteously in our power, are _ipso facto_ a most sacred trust to us, which it is both unmanly and bestial to violate. especially i would plead with mothers to send us pure men for our army--officers who will set their men a high example of chivalry towards the weakest native woman, and who will so influence them by example and personal influence that they may look upon voluntarily disabling themselves from active service, while still taking the government pay, as unmanly and unsoldierly. give us men who can say with a non-commissioned officer writing home to one of our white cross secretaries: "i have been out in india now eleven years and have never had a day's illness; and i think the whole secret of my good health is total abstinence from all that intoxicates, and that i honor all women as i honor my mother or any of my sisters." thirdly, the hardest thing on earth is not to slay a sin, but to get it buried; and the hardest of all sins to get under ground is the sin of impurity. it is largely due to the low standard of purity among men that we owe the almost insoluble problem presented by the existence of the large eurasian population in india, and of the half-caste generally. "the universal unanimity of the popular verdict on the half-caste is remarkable," says olive schreiner in some powerful articles published in _blackwood_ on the problems presented by our colonial empire. "the half-caste, it is asserted in every country where he is known, whether it be in america, asia, or africa, and whether his ancestors be english and negroid spanish and indian, or boer and hottentot,--the self-caste is by nature anti-social. it is always asserted that he possesses the vices of both parent races and the virtues of neither: that he is born especially with a tendency to be a liar, cowardly, licentious, and without self-respect." olive schreiner herself is the first to admit that there are exceptions. she says: "the fact that amongst the most despised class of our laboring half-castes we have all met individuals, not only of the highest integrity, but of rare moral beauty and of heroic and fully developed social feelings, does not impugn the theory of his unfortunate position. if you should sow human seed inside the door of hell, some of it would yet come up white lilies. but as a rule the popular verdict on the half-caste is not overdrawn." i strongly agree with mrs. schreiner that this lamentable result is not due solely, or even chiefly, to the admixture of races, but far more to the circumstances in which he has been born and bred. he has originated in almost all cases, not from the union of average individuals of the two races uniting under average conditions, but as the result of a sexual union between the most helpless and enslaved females of the dark race and the most recklessly dominant males of the white. "he enters a world in which there was no place prepared for him." his father was about as sensible of his parental obligations towards him as a toad towards its spawn in the next ditch. to him he "was a broken wineglass from last night's feast." "often without a family, always without a nation or race, without education or moral training, and despised by the society in which he was born," is it any wonder that the half-caste is the curse of the community in which he is found;--one of those whips, as shakespeare reminds us, that "heaven makes out of our pleasant vices" to "scourge" us into some sense of their seriousness? if you would not incur that curse, that insoluble problem of the half-caste, then in both your civil and military services send out men of clean hearts and lives into your dependencies, alas! in your great military camps during your spanish war a moral laxity was allowed, which, had it been attempted in the egyptian campaign, lord kitchener would have stamped out with a divine fury. i had it from an eyewitness, but the details are wholly unfit for publication. i do not hold with our "little englanders" that the possession of an empire is a disaster; on the contrary, i hold that it constitutes a splendid school for the formation of strong character,--of men who are the very salt of the earth,--and that the sense of a great mission to be fulfilled tends to give a nobility of soul to the whole nation; while even the wars it may involve prove the vultures of god swooping down on the hidden social rottennesses which in prolonged peace may breed unnoticed and unreproved. we have never forgotten the bitter lessons of the crimean war which laid bare our miserable incompetence in organizing, and the moral rottenness of our english firms that could supply our soldiers with paper-soled boots and bayonets that bent at a thrust, when the very life of our brave fellows depended on their being well armed and well shod. america will never forget the sufferings of her wounded in the spanish war, sufferings caused by the like dishonesty in the goods supplied and the like criminal incompetency which failed to provide them even with necessaries. but i do say that an empire presents many difficult problems, and that the men who accept its responsibilities need a sound head, clean hands, and above all a pure heart. let me in conclusion relate an incident which happened in the wreck of the _warren hastings_, to which i have already alluded,--an incident which i can never tell without a breaking voice and eyes full of tears. in that awful night of storm and darkness and iminent shipwreck, the officer in command, after ordering his men below to lighten the crowded deck, stationed two of his men at a narrow gangway through which he feared an ugly rush for life might be made, while the women and children were being embarked, bidding them on no account to leave their post till he gave them the word of command. at length the women and the sick had all been saved in the boats. this done, and not till then, the men had saved themselves, some by boats, some by life preservers; and last of all the captain and officer in command were proceeding to leave the fast foundering ship, when the latter heard a voice close to him, saying, "colonel, may we leave now?" it was the voice of one of his two sentinels. in the stress and strain of the awful scenes of that night he had for the moment forgotten that he had ordered them not to leave their post until he gave the word of command. and he said that _the water was almost up to their lips_! oh ye mothers of america and of our great empire! send us such men as these,--men who will mount guard over women and children in all lands, and see, as far as in them lies, that they do not make shipwreck of what is dearer than life;--men who, even with the bitter waters of temptation up to their own lips, will still hold their post and see that no man, to save himself, drives them down into that dread sea of perdition which never gives up its dead. then east, west, north, south, the american flag will witness in the face of all nations to the true manhood that steers its course by no earth-born fires of passion and selfish lust, but by the eternal stars, the heavenly lights of god, and mother, and duty, and home. east, west, north, south, by its side our flag, twice scored with the white cross, will float wide in the face of all nations the englishman's faith, reverence for womanhood, self-giving manhood, and the pure heart that sees god. footnotes: [footnote : _hereditary genius_, by francis galton, p. .] [footnote : great britain, since the conquest of the soudan, rules one-fourth of the population of the world.] chapter xi the dynamic aspect of evil[ ] there remains yet one other way in which i earnestly desire to help you if i can. i would fain afford you some light on this difficult problem and give you a spring of hope within by enabling you to see what it is working out in the world without. some, i know, do not need this help. some wholesome souls seem to gaze on all evil with sun-dazzled eyes--eyes that see him in whom they walk, and not it, and in his light they see light. they are the "naturally christian" souls who lead melodious days amid all the jars and discords of the world around them. others there are who seem to look upon these great social evils as especially provided to afford a sphere for their beneficent activities; and who if, by some sudden rise in public opinion, some passionate sense of the wrong done to women, the degraded class should almost cease to exist, would in their heart of hearts secretly regret so many empty beds in their little rescue home and the possibility that it might have to be shut up, when "the girls did turn out so well." others, again, there are who never trouble their heads or hearts about the misery and sin of the world, or any social problem, however dark, as long as their own house is comfortable, their own bed soft, and their own children healthy and well cared for, never dreaming how those social evils may press upon those children in their after-life. these are in no need of this kind of help. but there are many thoughtful mothers, possibly an increasing number with the increase of knowledge that is coming to all women, from whose heart there is going up a bitter cry, "why, oh why is all this evil permitted?" why is there this nameless moral difficulty at the very heart of our life which our whole soul revolts from contemplating? why has nature made these passions so strong that she seems wholly regardless of all considerations of morality?[ ] some there are who feel that all infidel books are mere curl-paper in comparison with the terrible facts of life, some who are in danger of having all faith crushed out of them-- "beneath the weary and the heavy weight of all this unintelligible world." it is these who need, like myself, as a first step to strong action, to see something of what god is working out by the evil and suffering of the world, to see it as a part of a vast redemptive whole, not as a great exception in our life, but working under the same law by which, in the words of the ancient collect, "things which are cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and all things are returning to perfection through him from whom they had their origin." now, do not think that i am going to indulge in a dissertation on the origin of evil or why the world is so full of sin and misery. this is insoluble. you cannot solve a problem which has only one term. your unknown quantity must have some known factor or factors related to it, or you cannot resolve it into the known. in this great claim of cause and effect, where all things are related and interdependent, you can only know a related thing through its relations. try to account for a bit of chalk, for instance, and consider all you must know in order to enable you to do so. to account for its weight you must know something about the motion of the whole planetary system and the law of gravity that controls that system; to account for the weather-stains upon it, you must know something about chemical reaction; to account for its being chalk and not flint, you must know something of the geological ages of the earth, and how it comes to be built up of little sea-shells; to account for its hardness, you must know something of the intricacies of molecular physics. all this you must know to account for a mere bit of chalk. how, then, can we expect to understand the problem of the world when we know absolutely nothing of its relations with the great moral and spiritual whole to which it belongs, and without the knowledge of which it must for ever remain an insoluble problem, presenting one term only, an enigma of which we do not possess the key? but though we cannot understand the origin of evil and why the world is as it is, we can understand something of the processes which are at work for good or ill. we can in a measure trace whether these processes are making slowly but surely for righteousness, or whether all the sin and the suffering are aimless and purposeless, a voice that cries "believe no more," "an ever breaking shore that tumbles in a godless deep." now, i contend that the only ground of despair, the only thing that might-shut us up to pessimism and to "a philosophy only just above suicide mark," would be not the presence but the absence of these great world evils. if this world presented a dead-level of comfortable selfishness that on the whole answered fairly well all round, an economy of petty self-interests in stable equilibrium, a world generally wrong, but working out no evil in particular to set it right, a society in which every man was for himself, and not the devil, as at present, but god for us all--then indeed we might despair. but who can contemplate humanity as it is, that broken stair of the divinity, whose top is in the unapproachable light of heaven and whose lowest step rests not on earth but in hell, without feeling that it is destined for an infinite progress, destined for the ascending feet of angels? who that gazes on this world, with its infinite depths of pain, its heavy weight of evil, its abysmal falls, its stupendous pressures of wrong and misery, but feels that here, if anywhere, we are in the presence of kinetic energies, of immense moral and spiritual forces, capable of raising the whole of fallen humanity to the heights of the divine. for let us remember that in the moral and spiritual world, as well as in the physical, no fall but carries with it the force that can be converted into a rise; no dread resistance of wrong to the right but creates an accumulated force which once let loose can transform an empire; no weight of evil but, in pulling it down, can be made to raise the whole bent of our life. "man partly is, and wholly hopes to be." he is "no finite and finished clod." progress, as browning says, is his distinctive mark, and these deep evils are the gigantic steps by which he rises as he treads them under foot. once recognize the fact that he is a fallen being--and by that i mean no theological dogma, but a truth of life, which, whatever our creed may be, must stare us in the face--the fact that he is a being knowing good but choosing evil, capable of an ideal but habitually falling below it, no mere automaton, but possessed of a spiritual will and an accusing conscience--i ask how else can he be educated, in the true sense of the word, and raised from death unto life except by being made to educe his own results and work out his evil premiss to the bitter end, till he is forced to go back upon himself, and recognize the right principle which he has violated? the very law of his being, of every being who is being raised from death unto life, is, that he can only know life through death, only grasp good by grappling with evil, only gain knowledge by knowing ignorance; his highest must be sown in weakness before it can be raised in power, must be sown in dishonor before it can be raised in glory. look back over the past and see if it is not in conflict with these great world evils, themselves the results of man's moral blindness and sin, that we have worked out the true principles of our life, the higher possibilities of our humanity. take the most elementary case first, man's disobedience to the physical laws under which he must live to have a sound mind in a sound body. man in his primitive stages is emphatically not a clean animal. on the contrary, he is a very dirty one. he has none of the cat's dainty neatness and cleanliness, none of her instinctive recognition of the deodorizing and purifying power of the earth, that makes the foulest thing once buried spring up in fresh grass and fragrant flowers. he has nothing of the imperative impulse of the little ant which he treads under his lordly feet to shampoo his brother, let alone himself. it has needed the discipline and the suffering of the ages to evolve that great banner of progress, the clean shirt. from what great world pestilences has he not had to suffer as the consequences of his own uncleanliness! cholera has been rightly called the beneficent sanitary inspector of the world. with what foul diseases, the very details of which would sicken, has he not had to be scourged withal to get him to recognize and obey the one divine injunction, "wash and be clean"! truly his knowledge and recognition of sanitary law, his "physical righteousness," has had to be sown in the weakness and corruption of disease before it could be raised to the power of a recognized law of life, insuring that cleanliness which is next to godliness. again, take the great principle of national freedom,--that a nation has a right to govern its own destinies. with what world tyrannies and oppressions, the outcome of man's selfish lust of power and wealth, have not the peoples had to fight and struggle in order at length to win and get recognized that principle of freedom without which a nation can be neither strong nor holy, neither a citadel nor a temple! the iron duke used to say, "there is but one thing worse than a battle gained, and that is a battle lost." yet what battles lost and what battles gained, with all their sickening sights and sounds-- "oaths, insults, filth, and monstrous blasphemies, sweat, writhings, anguish, laboring of lungs, in that close mist, and cryings for the light, moans of the dying and voices of the dead"; what bloody conflicts through the long ages have not had to be fought out to gain this freedom! truly we might apostrophize freedom in the words of the hebrew prophet: "who is this that cometh with her garments dyed in blood?" through what long centuries did not what sir john seeley called the "mechanical theory of government" survive, the theory which recognized no vital bond of blood and historical tradition between a people and its government, but looked upon nations as royal appanages, to be banded about with royal alliances and passed under an alien sway without consent on its own part! did it not require a napoleon to work out this false premiss to its bitter end, drenching europe in blood to gratify his own greed of power, and reducing nation after nation to his alien and despotic rule, till it was felt to be intolerable, and with a convulsive struggle europe threw off the yoke? truly a struggle which was the birth-throes of national sentiment and the recognition that the tie between the governed and the governing must be an organic one, a tie of blood from within, not a force from without--in one word, the recognition of the great principle of national freedom which, when the nation is sufficiently developed and self-disciplined to be fit for it, is the great mother of progress. sown in the corruption of those mangled and decaying corpses on many an awful battle-field, freedom is raised to the glory of an incorruptible truth of national life. once again, was it not in his age-long conflict with the great world evil of slavery that man worked out the true nature of a moral personality? man started at the outset with the evil premiss of the right of the strong to possess himself of the weak and the conquered, and enslave him for his own use, shunting the toil and burden of life upon his bowed shoulders. through long ages he had to work out this wrong premiss in disaster to empires through the laziness and worthlessness of their ruling classes engendered by slave labor, in the dumb suffering and bitter wrongs of millions of enslaved men and women. through centuries the church protested against these wrongs in vain, since the evil root, in the face of all protests, will go on bearing the evil fruit. england, herself the mother of free peoples, was stained with the guilt of being one of the first to originate the worst form of slavery that the world has ever seen, the african slave-trade, her great queen elizabeth not scorning to enrich her royal coffers out of the profits of slave-raiding expeditions conducted by her sea-captains. it needed the horrors of this latest development of the principle of slavery, the horrors of the middle passage, of whole regions of africa decimated to supply the slave market, of mothers torn from their children, or, worse still, compelled to bear them to their slave masters, only to see them in their turn sold to some far-off station; of the degradation of men and women brought up in heathen ignorance lest they should use their knowledge to rebel--it needed all this weight of evil and disaster at last to rouse the conscience of europe to recognize that slavery was wrong in itself and to cast out the evil premiss on which it rested. by the mere force of moral revulsion in england, by the throes of a great civil war engendered by slavery in america, at last the true nature of a moral personality got itself recognized,--the inviolability of personal responsibility, the sanctity of the individual, the sacredness of freedom,--those great principles on which the whole of our public and political life are founded. and i make bold to say that these principles were gained as a heritage for all time, not by the preaching of abstract justice, not by any consideration of the moral beauty of liberty, but mainly by a remorseful passion over the wrongs and the degradation of the slave. these great principles were sown in weakness and dishonor, to be raised in honor and in the power of an endless life. when, therefore, the church of the living god awakes, as she is just beginning to do, and closes in a life and death struggle with this far deeper and more pervasive evil of the degradation of women and children, which she has too long accepted as a melancholy necessity of human nature, may we not find in the course of that conflict that wholly new powers and new principles are being evolved, and that the apparent impossibilities of our nature are only its divine possibilities in disguise? may we not work out the true principles, not now of our public and political life, but of the home, of the family, of personal conduct and character--all those great moral bases on which the whole social structure rests for its stability? granted that this is the deepest and strongest of all our world evils, that which is the most firmly based on the original forces of our nature, and of that part of our nature which has shown the deepest disorder--does not all this point to some great issue? that which has been sown in such deep dishonor, will it not be raised in some glory that excelleth? if god has suffered mighty empires and whole kingdoms to be wrecked on this one evil; if he has made it throughout the old scriptures the symbol of departure from himself, and closely associated monogamic love with monotheistic worship, teaching us by the history of all ancient idolatries that the race which is impure spawns unclean idols and phrygian rites; if nature attaches such preciousness to purity in man that the statistics of insurance offices value a young man's life at twenty-five, the very prime of well-regulated manhood, at exactly one-half of what it is worth at fourteen, owing, dr. carpenter does not hesitate to say, to the indulgence of the passions of youth; if the tender father, "who sits by the death-bed of the little sparrow," has not thought it too great a price to pay that countless women and children should be sunk to hell without a chance in this life, in a degradation that has no name, but which, in its very depth, measures the height of the sanctity of womanhood; do we think that all these stupendous issues are for no end and to work out no purpose? do we not feel at once that we stand here at the very centre of the mighty forces that are moulding men to nobler shape and higher use? here, at least, is a force, if we will only use it, so weighted with public disaster, with national decay, with private misery, that it insists on making itself felt if there be a spark of life left and the nation has not become mere dead carcase for the vultures of god's judgments to prey upon. here alone is a power strong enough to compel us to simplify our life and restore its old divine order of marriage and hard work, of "plain living and high thinking," which luxury and self-ease are fast undermining. here, in the slain of the daughters of our people, is a stinging wrong that will goad us into seeing that the people are so housed that a human life is possible to them. here, if anywhere, is a passion of conscience, and pity, and duty, and interest combined, strong enough, a heaped-up weight of evil heavy enough, to raise us to a self-giving manhood and a self-reverencing womanhood. and from this secret place of thunder is not god now calling his chosen ones to come forward and be fellow-workers with him? and when that call is obeyed, when, to summarize what i have already said, the wrongs and degradation of women and hapless children take hold of men, as, thank god, they are beginning to take hold, with a remorseful passion, that passion for the weak, the wronged, and the defenceless, which surely is the divine in flower in a human soul; when women rise up in a wild revolt against "the law that now is paramount, the common law by which the poor and weak are trampled under foot of vicious men, and loathed forever after by the good"; when the christian church at length hears the persistent interrogation of her lord, "seest thou this woman?" and makes answer, "yea, lord, i see that she is young, and poor, and outcast, and degraded," and speaks to young men with something of the passion of the true man--"it were better for you that a millstone were hanged about your neck and you cast into the depths of the sea, than that you should cause one of these little ones to stumble"; when the fact that a foolish, giddy girl's feet have slipped and fallen is no longer the signal for every man to look upon her as fair game, and to trample her deeper into the mire, but the signal to every man calling himself a man to hasten to her side, to raise her up again and restore her to her lost womanhood; when boys are taught from their earliest years that if they would have a clear brain, a firm nerve, and a strong muscle, they must be pure, and purity is looked upon as manly, at least, as much as truth and courage; when women are no longer so lost to the dignity of their own womanhood as to make companions of the very men who insult and degrade it; when the woman requires the man to come to her in holy marriage in the glory of his unfallen manhood, as he requires her to come to him in the beauty of her spotless maidenhood; then, when these things begin to be, will not god's order slowly evolve itself out of our disorder, and the man will become the head of the woman, to guard her from all that makes her unfit to be the mother of the race, and the woman will be the heart of the man, to inspire him with all noble purpose? as we stand by this great world-sepulchre of corruption our unbelieving heart can only exclaim: "it stinketh." but the christ meets us with the words, "said i not unto thee that if thou wouldst believe, thou shouldst see the glory of god?" that which has been sown in human weakness must be raised in divine power; that which has been sown in deep dishonor must be raised in glory. for this corruptible must put on incorruption, even the self-giving manhood of him who is the prince of passion and the lord of love, the manhood lifted into god. footnotes: [footnote : in this chapter i have quoted some passages from an article of mine, "the apocalypse of evil," which appeared in the _contemporary review_, and received the strong commendation of dr. lightfoot, then bishop of durham. many of the thoughts i owe to my friend, james hinton, to whom my obligations on this subject are absolute.] [footnote : we must be careful, however, in urging this difficulty, to remember dr. martineau's teaching, which i have given in the third chapter, and bear in mind that the evil here is due to man's disorder, and not to nature's order. in the animal world the reproductive instincts work out as orderly results as all other natural instincts, and are no stronger than is necessary for the preservation of the race.] conclusion and it is this great upward movement, lifting man to a higher level, which is given into the hands of us women, touching, as it does, all the great trusts of our womanhood. what are we women going to do in the face of such vast issues for good or evil? undoubtedly we stand at the parting of the ways. in england undoubtedly the old high traditions of english society have, at least in what is called the "upper ten," been lowered and vulgarized. our literature is no longer as clean and wholesome as it was. the greater freedom that women enjoy has not always been put to high uses. and all around us in both countries the old order is changing, and the new order is not yet born. old positions are becoming untenable, with the higher position and culture of women. it is becoming an impossibility for intelligent women with a knowledge of physiology and an added sense of their own dignity to accept the lower moral standard for men, which exposes them to the risk of exchanging monogamy for a peculiarly vile polygamy--polygamy with its sensuality, but without its duties--bringing physical risks to their children and the terrible likelihood of an inherited moral taint to their sons. it is an impossibility, now that mothers know, that they should remain indifferent as to what sort of manhood they send out into the world--the so-called manhood that either makes and maintains the miserable sinner of our streets or is content to give a tainted name to the mother of his child, or the true manhood lifted into god, whose marriage is the type of the eternal union of god and the soul, of christ and the church, and whose fatherhood claims kinship with the father of lights. it is impossible for women who are agitating for the enfranchisement of their sex to accept as a necessary class in the midst of a democratical society a class of citizens who, in dr. welldon's[ ] words, addressed to the university of cambridge, "have lost once for all time the rights of citizenship--who are nobody's wives, nobody's sisters, nobody's friends, who live a living death in the world of men. there are one hundred and fifty thousand such citizens,--perhaps far more, in england and wales--_and all are women_." these old positions are simply impossible, each a moral _reductio ad absurdam_. we must institute a new and higher order. to do so we women must unite in a great silent movement, a temple slowly rising up beneath our hands without sound of axe or hammer. it will not make itself heard on platforms; its cry will not be heard in our streets. it will go on beneath the surface of our life, probably unheeded and unnoticed of men. women must educate women; those who know must teach those who are in ignorance. let mothers who have been roused to the greatness of the issues at stake take as their field of labor the young mothers whom they may know--possibly their own married daughters or nieces, possibly those who are only bound to them by ties of friendship. use this book, if you will. if there are things in it which you don't approve of--and oh, how much of the divine patience of our lord do we need with one another in dealing with this difficult question--cut out those pages, erase that passage, but do not deny those young mothers the necessary knowledge to guard the nursery or save their boys at school. and then try and follow it up by quietly talking over the difficulties and the best method of encountering them. let us deny ourselves in order to give to associations or institutions for the elevation of women, as well as to that excellent society for men, the white cross, which is spreading its purifying work through both countries.[ ] let us do what we can to help in organizing women's labor, so that a living wage may be secured and no woman be driven by starvation into selling herself for a morsel of bread. let us endeavor to secure the franchise that we may have the power of legislating for the protection of women on the one point on which we stand in sharp opposition to all but good men; especially such measures as raising the age of consent, so deplorably low in some of your states, that your children are almost without legal protection; resisting state regulation of vice in the army; cleansing the streets by an act pressing equally on men and women, and many others which will suggest themselves to you. but let us, at the same time, clearly recognize that the remedy must lie deeper than any external agency--must be as deep as life itself, and must be worked out in the silence of our own hearts and of our own homes. we must restore the law of god, quietly but firmly insisting on the equal moral standard for men and women alike; and we must maintain the sanctity and permanence of the marriage bond as ordained by christ himself. i say again i do not think, i simply _know_, by my own experience, that men will rise to any standard which women choose to set them. ruskin's noble words are the simple truth: "their whole course and character are in your hands; what you would have them be they shall be, if you not only desire to have them so, but deserve to have them so, for they are but mirrors in which you will see yourselves imaged.... you fancy, perhaps, as you have been told so often, that a wife's rule should only be over her husband's house, not over his mind. ah no! the true rule is just the reverse of that: a true wife, in her husband's house, is his servant; it is in his heart that she is queen. whatever of best he can conceive, it is her part to be; whatever of highest he can hope, it is hers to promise. all that is dark in him she must purge into purity; all that is failing in him she must strengthen into truth; from her, through all the world's clamor, he must win his praise; in her, through all the world's warfare, he must find his peace." last, but not least, we must set ourselves to make our lives simpler and plainer, and oppose the ever-increasing luxury and love of pleasure, with its sure and certain result, a relaxed moral fibre, which, to a race called to such high destinies and difficult tasks as our anglo-saxon race, is simply fatal. it can, and it must be done. as philip hammerton remarks: "it is entirely within the power of public opinion to relieve the world from the weariness of this burthen of expensive living; it has actually been done to a great extent with regard to the costliness of funerals, a matter in which public opinion has always been very authoritative. if it will now permit a man to be buried simply when he is dead, why cannot it allow him to exist simply whilst he is living?" to lessen the expense of dress, which has risen twenty per cent, within the last thirty years; to restore amusements to their proper place, as recreation after hard work for the good of others; to resist the ever-increasing restlessness of our day, leading to such constant absences from home as seriously to threaten all steady work for the amelioration of the stay-at-home classes, and use up the funds which are needed for that work; to keep a simple table, so that the future sir andrew clark may no longer have to say that more than half of our diseases come from over-eating; to resist the vulgar tendency to compete with our richer or more fashionable neighbors in their style of living--surely these sacrifices are not beyond us, to attain a great end, both for ourselves and our empire. if indeed we think we can meet this evil without making sacrifices amounting to a silent revolution in our life; if we think, as i have sometimes thought some women do think, that we can quench this pit of perdition in our midst by, as it were, emptying our scent-bottles upon it,--shedding a few empty tears, heaving a few sentimental sighs: "it is very sad! of course i can't do anything, but i am sure i wish all success to your noble work"--possibly even giving a very little money, say a guinea a year, to a penitentiary--all i can say is, _god is not mocked_. i know but one thing in heaven or earth that will quench it, and that is life-blood. sometimes i have asked in anguish of spirit: "will women give it?" i believe they will. but, whether we give it or not, what matthew arnold called "the noblest of religious utterances" holds good here: "without shedding of blood there is no remission of this sin." and it is because i know that mothers will spend their heart's blood in saving their sons, and because i believe that women, with their new-born position and dignity, will not go on accepting as a matter of course that their womanhood should be fashioned like the egyptian sphinx, half pure woman, crowned with intellectual and moral beauty, dowered with the homage of men; and half unclean beast of prey, seeking whom it may slay, outcast and abandoned and forced to snare or starve--it is because of this, my rooted faith in women, that i have hope. as long ago as professor max müller, ever anxious for the interests of his indian fellow-subjects, when mr. malabari came to ask him how he could rouse english public opinion with regard to the injuries inflicted on young girls by hindu child-marriages, answered him at once, "write a short pamphlet and send it to the women of england. they begin to be a power, and they have one splendid quality, they are never beaten."[ ] and if this can be said of english women, still more may it be said of the women of america. but, further, to strengthen us in this splendid quality, have we sufficiently recognized the new moral forces that are coming into the world? have our eyes been opened to see "the horses and chariots of fire" which are silently taking up their position around us, to guard us and fight for us, that we may not be beaten; the deepened sense of moral obligation, the added power of conscience, the altogether new altruistic sense which makes the misery and degradation of others cling to us like a garment we cannot shake off, a sense of others' woes for which we have had to invent a new word? lord shaftesbury's legislation does not date so very far back; and yet when his bill for delivering women and children from working in our mines was hanging in the balance, and the loss of a single vote might wreck it--women, be it remembered, who were working naked to the waist in the coal-mines, and little children of eight or nine who were carrying half a sack of coals twelve times a day the height of st. paul's cathedral--the archbishop of canterbury and the bishop of london left the house of lords without voting, as the subject did not interest them; while in the lower house bright and gladstone both voted against the bill, gladstone being the only member who, when the bill was passed by a bare majority, endeavored to delay its coming into operation! i ask, would such a state of things be possible in these days? am i not right in saying that new moral forces and sensibilities have been born within us which make such a state of things not only impossible, but simply incomprehensible? why then should we despair? what! has god built up his everlasting marble of broken shells, and will he not build up his temple of the future out of these broken efforts of ours? has he made his pure and splendid diamond out of mere soot, and shall we refuse to see in the blackest and foulest moral problem the possibilities of the diamond, of a higher life worked out in the process of its solution, reflecting his light and his love? has he made his precious sapphire of the mere mud that we tread under our feet, and, when we insist on our little sisters' being no longer trodden like mud "under foot of vicious men," may they not in the course of their redemption bring an added hue of heaven to our life, an added purity to home and family, and behold, instead of the old mud, a sapphire throne, and above it the likeness as of a divine man?[ ] but to those who still hang back with a feeling of almost angry repulsion from the whole subject which makes them refuse even to face the perils and temptations of their own boys, i would address no hard words, remembering but too well the terrible struggle it cost me to make this my life work. only i would remind them of that greatest act in all history, by which the world was redeemed. the cross to us is so associated with the adoration of the ages, so glorified by art, and music, and lofty thought, that we have ceased to realize what it was in actual fact such as no painter has ever dared to portray it; the cross, not elevated as in sacred pictures, but huddled up with the jeering crowd; the cross with its ribald blasphemies, its shameful nakedness, its coarse mockeries, its brutal long-drawn torture. do you think it cost the women of that day nothing to bear all this on their tender hearts? yet what was it that made men draw nearer and nearer, till the women who at first "stood afar off, beholding these things," we are told, at last "stood by the cross of jesus"; and, when all men forsook him and fled, placed themselves heart to heart with the divine love bearing the sins of the world and casting them into the abysmal depths of its own being, deeper even than the depths of man's sin? what was it but their faithfulness to the highest that they had known which made them endure the cross, despising the shame? and now, when at the end of the ages he once again calls us women to stand heart to heart with him in a great redemptive purpose, shall we hang back? shall we not rather obey the divine call, enduring the cross, despising the shame, and, like those women of old, winning for ourselves, by faithfulness unto death, the joy of being made the messengers of a higher and risen life to the world? god grant that the power of the holy ghost may overshadow us and enable us to make answer with her whom all generations have called blessed: "behold the hand-maiden of the lord!" footnotes: [footnote : late head-master of harrow; now metropolitan of india.] [footnote : i would especially commend this modern order of knighthood to the prayers and support of women. it is bravely fighting our battle for us and doing the public work among men. as it attacks what is especially the sin of the moneyed classes, it is unpopular, men resenting its interference with what they call their private life, and it is always in peril for want of funds. the white cross league admits women associates for intercessory prayer--and what mother will not be thankful for that?--for any work where women's aid is needed, and for raising funds for what is so emphatically our own cause. i would earnestly suggest to women who have incomes of their own that they should leave the white cross a small legacy, so as to place it on a firmer basis. i hope myself to leave the english branch £ .] [footnote : from an article in the _nineteenth century_ on "meddling with hindu marriages."] [footnote : ezek. i., .] appendix in mr. edward thring's address to the church congress at carlisle in , he said: "curiosity, ignorance, and lies form a very hot-bed of impurity. we pay heavily for our civilized habits in false shame and the mystery in which sex is wrapped. "i confess that for curiosity i have no remedy to propose. ignorance and lies are on a different footing. i suppose everyone is acquainted with some of the current lies about the impossibility of being pure. the only answer to this is a flat denial from experience. i know it is possible, and, when once attained, easy. the means, under god, in my own case, was a letter from my father. a quiet, simple statement of the sinfulness of the sin and a few of the plain texts from st. paul saved me. a film fell from my eyes at my father's letter. my first statement is that all fathers ought to write such a letter to their sons. it is not difficult if done in a common-sense way. following out this plan at uppingham in the morning bible lessons, i have always spoken as occasion arose with perfect plainness on lust and its devil-worship, particularly noting its deadly effect on human life and its early and dishonored graves. ignorance is deadly, because perfect ignorance in a boy is impossible. i consider the half-ignorance so deadly that once a year, at the time of confirmation, i speak openly to the whole school, divided into three different sets. first i take the confirmees, then the communicants and older boys, then the younger boys, on three following nights after evening prayers. the first two sets i speak very plainly to, the last only warn against all indecency in thought, word, or deed, whether alone or with companions. thus no boy who has been at school a whole year can sin in ignorance, and a boy who despises this warning is justly turned out of the school on conviction." finally, he dwelt upon the necessity of school life having joined to it a home life. the purifying influence of a good woman and a fuller recognition of woman's work and place in the world he looked upon as that which promised most for lifting mankind into a higher atmosphere of pure life. the end. white cross series of tracts. white cross manual. containing an account of the origin and progress of the movement, a statement of its objects and methods, plan of organization, suggestions on the conduct of the work, devotional offices, etc. paper, pages ... $ . . an address to the members of the white cross army. by the right rev. the bishop of durham. . the white cross army. a statement of the bishop of durham's movement. by ellice hopkins. . per angusta ad augusta. by j.e.h. . the ride of death. by ellice hopkins. . the black anchor. by ellice hopkins. . the american zulu. by ellice hopkins. price, cents each. $ . a hundred, direct from the publishers. shorter papers. $ . a hundred. lost in quicksand. by j.e.h. is it natural? by j.e.h. moral money clippers. by j.e.h. who holds the rope? by j.e.h. rolling away the stone. by ellice hopkins. touching pitch. by ellice hopkins. the defaced image restored. by ellice hopkins. power to let. by ellice hopkins. e.p. dutton & co., publishers. west d street, new york. little essays of love and virtue by havelock ellis by the same author studies in the psychology of sex six volumes philadelphia: _f.a. davis company_ man and woman london: _walter scott_ new york: _charles scribners' sons_ the task of social hygiene london: _constable and company_ boston: _houghton mifflin company_ impressions and comments first and second series london: _constable and company_ boston: _houghton mifflin company_ by mrs. havelock ellis the new horizon in love and life with a preface by edward carpenter and an introduction by marguerite tracy london: _a. and c. black, ltd._ little essays of love and virtue by havelock ellis a. & c. black, ltd. , & soho square, london, w. copyright _in great britain by a. and g. black, ltd., london_ _in america by george h. doran co., new york_ preface in these essays--little, indeed, as i know them to be, compared to the magnitude of their subjects--i have tried to set forth, as clearly as i can, certain fundamental principles, together with their practical application to the life of our time. some of these principles were stated, more briefly and technically, in my larger _studies_ of sex; others were therein implied but only to be read between the lines. here i have expressed them in simple language and with some detail. it is my hope that in this way they may more surely come into the hands of young people, youths and girls at the period of adolescence, who have been present to my thoughts in all the studies i have written of sex because i was myself of that age when i first vaguely planned them. i would prefer to leave to their judgment the question as to whether this book is suitable to be placed in the hands of older people. it might only give them pain. it is in youth that the questions of mature age can alone be settled, if they ever are to be settled, and unless we begin to think about adult problems when we are young all our thinking is likely to be in vain. there are but few people who are able when youth is over either on the one hand to re-mould themselves nearer to those facts of nature and of society they failed to perceive, or had not the courage to accept, when they were young, or, on the other hand, to mould the facts of the exterior world nearer to those of their own true interior world. one hesitates to bring home to them too keenly what they have missed in life. yet, let us remember, even for those who have missed most, there always remains the fortifying and consoling thought that they may at least help to make the world better for those who come after them, and the possibilities of human adjustment easier for others than it has been for themselves. they must still remain true to their own traditions. we could not wish it to be otherwise. the art of making love and the art of being virtuous;--two aspects of the great art of living that are, rightly regarded, harmonious and not at variance--remain, indeed, when we cease to misunderstand them, essentially the same in all ages and among all peoples. yet, always and everywhere, little modifications become necessary, little, yet, like so many little things, immense in their significance and results. in this way, if we are really alive, we flexibly adjust ourselves to the world in which we find ourselves, and in so doing simultaneously adjust to ourselves that ever-changing world, ever-changing, though its changes are within such narrow limits that it yet remains substantially the same. it is with such modification that we are concerned in these little essays. h.e. _london, _ contents chapter page i children and parents ii the meaning of purity iii the objects of marriage iv husbands and wives v the love-rights of women vi the play-function of sex vii the individual and the race index little essays of love and virtue chapter i children and parents the twentieth century, as we know, has frequently been called "the century of the child." when, however, we turn to the books of ellen key, who has most largely and sympathetically taken this point of view, one asks oneself whether, after all, the child's century has brought much to the child. ellen key points out, with truth, that, even in our century, parents may for the most part be divided into two classes: those who act as if their children existed only for their benefit, and those who act as if they existed only for their children's benefit, the results, she adds being alike deplorable. for the first group of parents tyrannise over the child, seek to destroy its individuality, exercise an arbitrary discipline too spasmodic to have any of the good effects of discipline and would model him into a copy of themselves, though really, she adds, it ought to pain them very much to see themselves exactly copied. the second group of parents may wish to model their children not after themselves but after their ideals, yet they differ chiefly from the first class by their over-indulgence, by their anxiety to pamper the child by yielding to all his caprices and artificially protecting him from the natural results of those caprices, so that instead of learning freedom, he has merely acquired self-will. these parents do not indeed tyrannise over their children but they do worse; they train their children to be tyrants. against these two tendencies of our century ellen key declares her own alpha and omega of the art of education. try to leave the child in peace; live your own life beautifully, nobly, temperately, and in so living you will sufficiently teach your children to live. it is not my purpose here to consider how far this conception of the duty of parents towards children is justified, and whether or not peace is the best preparation for a world in which struggle dominates. all these questions about education are rather idle. there are endless theories of education but no agreement concerning the value of any of them, and the whole question of education remains open. i am here concerned less with the duty of parents in relation to their children than with the duty of children in relation to their parents, and that means that i am not concerned with young children, to whom, that duty still presents no serious problems, since they have not yet developed a personality with self-conscious individual needs. certainly the one attitude must condition the other attitude. the reaction of children against their parents is the necessary result of the parents' action. so that we have to pay some attention to the character of parental action. we cannot expect to find any coherent or uniform action on the part of parents. but there have been at different historical periods different general tendencies in the attitude of parents towards their children. thus if we go back four or five centuries in english social history we seem to find a general attitude which scarcely corresponds exactly to either of ellen key's two groups. it seems usually to have been compounded of severity and independence; children were first strictly compelled to go their parents' way and then thrust off to their own way. there seems a certain hardness in this method, yet it is doubtful whether it can fairly be regarded as more unreasonable than either of the two modern methods deplored by ellen key. on the contrary it had points for admiration. it was primarily a discipline, but it was regarded, as any fortifying discipline should be regarded, as a preparation for freedom, and it is precisely there that the more timid and clinging modern way seems to fail. we clearly see the old method at work in the chief source of knowledge concerning old english domestic life, the _paston letters_. here we find that at an early age the sons of knights and gentlemen were sent to serve in the houses of other gentlemen: it was here that their education really took place, an education not in book knowledge, but in knowledge of life. such education was considered so necessary for a youth that a father who kept his sons at home was regarded as negligent of his duty to his family. a knowledge of the world was a necessary part, indeed the chief part, of a youth's training for life. the remarkable thing is that this applied also to a large extent to the daughters. they realised in those days, what is only beginning to be realised in ours,[ ] that, after all, women live in the world just as much, though differently, as men live in the world, and that it is quite as necessary for the girl as for the boy to be trained to the meaning of life. margaret paston, towards the end of the fifteenth century, sent her daughter ann to live in the house of a gentleman who, a little later, found that he could not keep her as he was purposing to decrease the size of his household. the mother writes to her son: "i shall be fain to send for her and with me she shall but lose her time, and without she be the better occupied she shall oftentimes move me and put me to great unquietness. remember what labour i had with your sister, therefore do your best to help her forth"; as a result it was planned to send her to a relative's house in london. [ ] this was illustrated in england when women first began to serve on juries. the pretext was frequently brought forward that there are certain kinds of cases and of evidence that do not concern women or that women ought not to hear. the pretext would have been more plausible if it had also been argued that there are certain kinds of cases and of evidence that men ought not to hear. as a matter of fact, whatever frontier there may be in these matters is not of a sexual kind. everything that concerns men ultimately concerns women, and everything that concerns women ultimately concerns men. neither women nor men are entitled to claim dispensation. it is evident that in the fifteenth century in england there was a wide prevalence of this method of education, which in france, a century later, was still regarded as desirable by montaigne. his reason for it is worth noting; children should be educated away from home, he remarks, in order to acquire hardness, for the parents will be too tender to them. "it is an opinion accepted by all that it is not right to bring up children in their parents' laps, for natural love softens and relaxes even the wisest."[ ] [ ] montaigne, _essais_, bk. i., ch. . in old france indeed the conditions seem similar to those in england. the great serio-comic novel of antoine de la salle, _petit jean de saintré_, shows us in detail the education and the adventures, which certainly involved a very early introduction to life, of a page in a great house in the fifteenth century. we must not take everything in this fine comedy too solemnly, but in the fourteenth century _book of the knight of the tour-landry_ we may be sure that we have at its best the then prevailing view of the relation of a father to his tenderly loved daughters. of harshness and rigour in the relationship it is not easy to find traces in this lengthy and elaborate book of paternal counsels. but it is clear that the father takes seriously the right of a daughter to govern herself and to decide for herself between right and wrong. it is his object, he tells his girls, "to enable them to govern themselves." in this task he assumes that they are entitled to full knowledge, and we feel that he is not instructing them in the mysteries of that knowledge; he is taking for granted, in the advice he gives and the stories he tells them, that his "young and small daughters, not, poor things, overburdened with experience," already possess the most precise knowledge of the intimate facts of life, and that he may tell them, without turning a hair, the most outrageous incidents of debauchery. life already lies naked before them: that he assumes; he is not imparting knowledge, he is giving good counsel.[ ] [ ] if the knight went to an extreme in his assumption of his daughters' knowledge, modern fathers often go to the opposite and more foolish extreme of assuming in their daughters an ignorance that would be dangerous even if it really existed. in _a young girl's diary_ (translated from the german by eden and cedar paul), a work that is highly instructive for parents, and ought to be painful for many, we find the diarist noting at the age of thirteen that she and a girl friend of about the same age overheard the father of one of them--both well brought up and carefully protected, one catholic and the other protestant--referring to "those innocent children." "we did laugh so, we and _innocent children_!!! what our fathers really think of us; we innocent!!! at dinner we did not dare look at one another or we should have exploded." it need scarcely be added that, at the same time, they were more innocent than they knew. it is clear that this kind of education and this attitude towards children must be regarded as the outcome of the whole mediæval method of life. in a state of society where roughness and violence, though not, as we sometimes assume, chronic, were yet always liable to be manifested, it was necessary for every man and woman to be able to face the crudest facts of the world and to be able to maintain his or her own rights against them. the education that best secured that strength and independence was the best education and it necessarily involved an element of hardness. we must go back earlier than montaigne's day, when the conditions were becoming mitigated, to see the system working in all its vigour. the lady of the day of the early thirteenth century has been well described by luchaire in his scholarly study of french society in the time of philip augustus. she was, he tells us, as indeed she had been in the preceding feudal centuries, often what we should nowadays call a virago, of violent temperament, with vivid passions, broken in from childhood to all physical exercises, sharing the pleasures and dangers of the knights around her. feudal life, fertile in surprises and in risks, demanded even in women a vigorous temper of soul and body, a masculine air, and habits also that were almost virile. she accompanied her father or her husband to the chase, while in war-time, if she became a widow or if her husband was away at the crusades, she was ready, if necessary, to direct the defences of the lordship, and in peace time she was not afraid of the longest and most dangerous pilgrimages. she might even go to the crusades on her own account, and, if circumstances required, conduct a war to come out victoriously. we may imagine the robust kind of education required to produce people of this quality. but as regards the precise way in which parents conducted that education, we have, as luchaire admits, little precise knowledge. it is for the most part only indirectly, by reading between the lines, that we glean something as to what it was considered befitting to inculcate in a good household, and as what we thus learn is mostly from the writings of churchmen it is doubtless a little one-sided. thus adam de perseigne, an ecclesiastic, writes to the countess du perche to advise her how to live in a christian manner; he counsels her to abstain from playing games of chance and chess, not to take pleasure in the indecent farces of actors, and to be moderate in dress. then, as ever, preachers expressed their horror of the ruinous extravagance of women, their false hair, their rouge, and their dresses that were too long or too short. they also reprobated their love of flirtation. it was, however, in those days a young girl's recognised duty, when a knight arrived in the household, to exercise the rites of hospitality, to disarm him, give him his bath, and if necessary massage him to help him to go to sleep. it is not surprising that the young girl sometimes made love to the knight under these circumstances, nor is it surprising that he, engaged in an arduous life and trained to disdain feminine attractions, often failed to respond. it is easy to understand how this state of things gradually became transformed into the considerably different position of parents and child we have known, which doubtless attained its climax nearly a century ago. feudal conditions, with the large households so well adapted to act as seminaries for youth, began to decay, and as education in such seminaries must have led to frequent mischances both for youths and maidens who enjoyed the opportunities of education there, the regret for their disappearance may often have been tempered for parents. schools, colleges, and universities began to spring up and develop for one sex, while for the other home life grew more intimate, and domestic ties closer. montaigne's warning against the undue tenderness of a narrow family life no longer seemed reasonable, and the family became more self-centred and more enclosed. beneath this, and more profoundly influential, there was a general softening in social respects, and a greater expansiveness of affectional relationships, in reality or in seeming, within the home, compensating, it may be, the more diffused social feeling within a group which characterised the previous period. so was cultivated that undue tenderness, deplored by montaigne, which we now regard as almost normal in family life, and solemnly label, if we happen to be psycho-analysts, the oedipus-complex or the electra-complex. sexual love is closely related to parental love; the tender emotion, which is an intimate part of parental love, is also an intimate part of sexual love, and two emotions which are each closely related to a third emotion cannot fail to become often closely associated to each other. with a little thought we might guess beforehand, even while still in complete ignorance of the matter, that there could not fail to be frequently a sexual tinge in the affection of a father for his daughter, of a mother for her son, of a son for his mother, or a daughter for her father. needless to say, that does not mean that there is present any physical desire of sex in the narrow sense; that would be a perversity, and a rare perversity. we are here on another plane than that of crude physical desire, and are moving within the sphere of the emotions. but such emotions are often strong, and all the stronger because conscious of their own absolute rectitude and often masked under the shape of duty. yet when prolonged beyond the age of childhood they tend to become a clog on development, and a hindrance to a wholesome life. the child who cherishes such emotion is likely to suffer infantile arrest of development, and the parent who is so selfish as to continue to expend such tenderness on a child who has passed the age of childhood, or to demand it, is guilty of a serious offence against that child. that the intimate family life which sometimes resulted--especially when, as frequently happened, the seeming mutual devotion was also real--might often be regarded as beautiful and almost ideal, it has been customary to repeat with an emphasis that in the end has even become nauseous. for it was usually overlooked that the self-centred and enclosed family, even when the mutual affection of its members was real enough to bear all examination, could scarcely be more than partially beautiful, and could never be ideal. for the family only represents one aspect, however important an aspect, of a human being's functions and activities. he cannot, she cannot, be divorced from the life of the social group, and a life is beautiful and ideal, or the reverse, only when we have taken into our consideration the social as well as the family relationship. when the family claims to prevent the free association of an adult member of it with the larger social organisation, it is claiming that the part is greater than the whole, and such a claim cannot fail to be morbid and mischievous. the old-world method of treating children, we know, has long ago been displaced as containing an element of harsh tyranny. but it was not perceived, and it seems indeed not even yet to be generally recognised, that the system which replaced it, and is only now beginning to pass away, involved another and more subtle tyranny, the more potent because not seemingly harsh. parents no longer whipped their children even when grown up, or put them in seclusion, or exercised physical force upon them after they had passed childhood. they felt that that would not be in harmony with the social customs of a world in which ancient feudal notions were dead. but they merely replaced the external compulsion by an internal compulsion which was much more effective. it was based on the moral assumption of claims and duties which were rarely formulated because parents found it quite easy and pleasant to avoid formulating them, and children, on the rare occasions when they formulated them, usually felt a sense of guilt in challenging their validity. it was in the nineteenth century that this state of things reached its full development. the sons of the family were usually able, as they grew up, to escape and elude it, although they thereby often created an undesirable divorce from the home, and often suffered, as well as inflicted, much pain in tearing themselves loose from the spiritual bonds--especially perhaps in matters of religion--woven by long tradition to bind them to their parents. it was on the daughters that the chief stress fell. for the working class, indeed, there was often the possibility of escape into hard labour, if only that of marriage. but such escape was not possible, immediately or at all, for a large number. during the nineteenth century many had been so carefully enclosed in invisible cages, they had been so well drilled in the reticences and the duties and the subserviences that their parents silently demanded of them, that we can never know all the tragedies that took place. in exceptional cases, indeed, they gave a sign. when they possessed unusual power of intellect, or unusual power of character and will, they succeeded in breaking loose from their cages, or at least in giving expression to themselves. this is seen in the stories of nearly all the women eminent in life and literature during the nineteenth century, from the days of mary wollstonecraft onwards. the brontës, almost, yet not quite, strangled by the fetters placed upon them by their stern and narrow-minded father, and enabled to attain the full stature of their genius only by that brief sojourn in brussels, are representative. elizabeth barrett, chained to a couch of invalidism under the eyes of an imperiously affectionate father until with robert browning's aid she secretly eloped into the open air of freedom and health, and so attained complete literary expression, is a typical figure. it is only because we recognise that she is a typical figure among the women who attained distinction that we are able to guess at the vast number of mute inglorious elizabeth barretts who were never able to escape by their own efforts and never found a browning to aid them to escape. it is sometimes said that those days are long past and that young women, in all the countries which we are pleased to called civilised, are now emancipated, indeed, rather too much emancipated. critics come forward to complain of their undue freedom, of their irreverent familiarity to their parents, of their language, of their habits. but there were critics who said the very same things, in almost the same words, of the grandmothers of these girls! these incompetent critics are as ignorant of the social history of the past as they are of the social significance of the history of the present. we read in _once a week_ of sixty years ago ( th august, ), the very period when the domestic conditions of girls were the most oppressive in the sense here understood, that these same critics were about at that time, and as shocked as they are now at "the young ladies who talk of 'awful swells' and 'deuced bores,' who smoke and venture upon free discourse, and try to be like men." the writer of this anonymous article, who was really (i judge from internal evidence) so distinguished and so serious a woman as harriet martineau, duly snubs these critics, pointing out that such accusations are at least as old as addison and horace walpole; she remarks that there have no doubt been so-called "fast young ladies" in every age, "varying their doings and sayings according to the fopperies of the time." the question, as she pertinently concludes is, as indeed it still remains to-day: "have we more than the average proportion? i do not know." nor to-day do we know. but while to-day, as ever before, we have a certain proportion of these emancipated girls, and while to-day, as perhaps never before, we are able to understand that they have an element of reason on their side, it would be a mistake to suppose that they are more than exceptions. the majority are unable, and not even anxious, to attain this light-hearted social emancipation. for the majority, even though they are workers, the anciently subtle ties of the home are still, as they should be, an element of natural piety, and, also, as they should not be, clinging fetters which impede individuality and destroy personal initiative. we all know so many happy homes beneath whose calm surface this process is working out. the parents are deeply attached to their children, who still remain children to them even when they are grown up. they wish to guide them and mould them and cherish them, to protect them from the world, to enjoy their society and their aid, and they expect that their children shall continue indefinitely to remain children. the children, on their side, remain and always will remain, tenderly attached to their parents, and it would really pain them to feel that they are harbouring any unwillingness to stay in the home even after they have grown up, so long as their parents need their attention. it is, of course, the daughters who are thus expected to remain in the home and who feel this compunction about leaving it. it seems to us--although, as we have seen, so unlike the attitude of former days--a natural, beautiful, and rightful feeling on both sides. yet, in the result, all sorts of evils tend to ensue. the parents often take as their moral right the services which should only be accepted, if accepted at all, as the offering of love and gratitude, and even reach a degree of domineering selfishness in which they refuse to believe that their children have any adult rights of their own, absorbing and drying up that physical and spiritual life-blood of their offspring which it is the parents' part in nature to feed. if the children are willing there is nothing to mitigate this process; if they are unwilling the result is often a disastrous conflict. their time and energy are not their own; their tastes are criticised and so far as possible crushed; their political ideas, if they have any, are treated as pernicious; and--which is often on both sides the most painful of all--differences in religious belief lead to bitter controversy and humiliating recrimination. such differences in outlook between youth and age are natural and inevitable and right. the parents themselves, though they may have forgotten it, often in youth similarly revolted against the cherished doctrines of their own parents; it has ever been so, the only difference being that to-day, probably, the opportunities for variation are greater. so it comes about that what james hinton said half a century ago is often true to-day: "our happy christian homes are the real dark places of the earth." it is evident that the problem of the relation of the child to the parent is still incompletely solved even in what we consider our highest civilisation. there is here needed an art in which those who have to exercise it can scarcely possess all the necessary skill and experience. among trees and birds and beasts the art is surer because it is exercised unconsciously, on the foundation of a large tradition in which failure meant death. in the common procreative profusion of those forms of life the frequent death of the young was a matter of little concern, but biologically there was never any sacrifice of the offspring to the well-being of the parents. whenever sacrifice is called for it is the parents who are sacrificed to their offspring. in our superior human civilisation, in which quantity ever tends to give place to quality, the higher value of the individual involves an effort to avoid sacrifice which sometimes proves worse than abortive. an avian philosopher would be unlikely to feel called upon to denounce nests as the dark places of the earth, and in laying down our human moral laws we have always to be aware of forgetting the fundamental biological relationship of parent and child to which all such moral laws must conform. to some would-be parents that necessity may seem hard. in such a case it is well for them to remember that there is no need to become parents and that we live in an age when it is not difficult to avoid becoming a parent. the world is not dying for lack of parents. on the contrary we have far too many of them--ignorant parents, silly parents, unwilling parents, undesirable parents--and those who aspire to the high dignity of creating the future race, let them be as few as they will--and perhaps at the present time the fewer the better--must not refuse the responsibilities of that position, its pains as well as its joys. in our human world, as we know, the moral duties laid upon us--the duties in which, if we fail, we become outcasts in our own eyes or in those of others or in both--are of three kinds: the duties to oneself, the duties to the small circle of those we love, and the duties to the larger circle of mankind to which ultimately we belong, since out of it we proceed, and to it we owe all that we are. there are no maxims, there is only an art and a difficult art, to harmonise duties which must often conflict. we have to be true to all the motives that sanctify our lives. to that extent george eliot's maggie tulliver was undoubtedly right. but the renunciation of the self is not the routine solution of every conflict, any more than is the absolute failure to renounce. in a certain sense the duty towards the self comes before all others, because it is the condition on which duties towards others possess any significance and worth. in that sense, it is true according to the familiar saying of shakespeare,--though it was only polonius, the man of maxims, who voiced it,--that one cannot be true to others unless one is first true to oneself, and that one can know nothing of giving aught that is worthy to give unless one also knows how to take. we see that the problem of the place of parents in life, after their function of parenthood has been adequately fulfilled, a problem which offers no difficulties among most forms of life, has been found hard to solve by man. at some places and periods it has been considered most merciful to put them, to death; at others they have been almost or quite deified and allowed to regulate the whole lives of their descendants. thus in new caledonia aged parents, it is said by mrs. hadfield, were formerly taken up to a high mountain and left with enough food to last a few days; there was at the same time great regard for the aged, as also among the hottentots who asked: "can you see a parent or a relative shaking and freezing under a cold, dreary, heavy, useless old age, and not think, in pity of them, of putting an end to their misery?" it was generally the opinion of the parents themselves, but in some countries the parents have dominated and overawed their children to the time of their natural death and even beyond, up to the point of ancestor worship, as in china, where no man of any age can act for himself in the chief matters of life during his parents' life-time, and to some extent in ancient rome, whence an influence in this direction which still exists in the laws and customs of france.[ ] both extremes have proved compatible with a beautifully human life. to steer midway between them seems to-day, however, the wisest course. there ought to be no reason, and under happy conditions there is no reason, why the relationship between parent and child, as one of mutual affection and care, should ever cease to exist. but that the relationship should continue to exist as a tie is unnatural and tends to be harmful. at a certain stage in the development of the child the physical tie with the parent is severed, and the umbilical cord cut. at a later stage in development, when puberty is attained and adolescence is feeling its way towards a complete adult maturity, the spiritual tie must be severed. it is absolutely essential that the young spirit should begin to essay its own wings. if its energy is not equal to this adventure, then it is the part of a truly loving parent to push it over the edge of the nest. of course there are dangers and risks. but the worst dangers and risks come of the failure to adventure, of the refusal to face the tasks of the world and to assume the full function of life. all that freud has told of the paralysing and maiming influence of infantile arrest or regression is here profitable to consider. in order, moreover, that the relationship between parents and children may retain its early beauty and love, it is essential that it shall adapt itself to adult conditions and the absence of ties so rendered necessary. otherwise there is little likelihood of anything but friction and pain on one side or the other, and perhaps on both sides. [ ] the varying customs of different peoples in this matter are set forth by westermarck, _the origin and development of the moral ideas_, ch. xxv. the parents have not only to train their children: it is of at least equal importance that they should train themselves. it is desirable that children, as they grow up, should be alive to this necessity, and consciously assist in the process, since they are in closer touch with a new world of activities to which their more lethargic parents are often blind and deaf. for every fresh stage in our lives we need a fresh education, and there is no stage for which so little educational preparation is made as that which follows the reproductive period. yet at no time--especially in women, who present all the various stages of the sexual life in so emphatic a form--would education be more valuable. the great burden of reproduction, with all its absorbing responsibilities, has suddenly been lifted; at the same time the perpetually recurring rhythm of physical sex manifestations, so often disturbing in its effect, finally ceases; with that cessation, very often, after a brief period of perturbation, there is an increase both in physical and mental energy. yet, too often, all that one can see is that a vacuum has been created, and that there is nothing to fill it. the result is that the mother--for it is most often of the mother that complaint is made--devotes her own new found energies to the never-ending task of hampering and crushing her children's developing energies. how many mothers there are who bring to our minds that ancient and almost inspired statement concerning those for whom "satan finds some mischief still"! they are wasting, worse than wasting, energies that might be profitably applied to all sorts of social service in the world. there is nothing that is so much needed as the "maternal in politics," or in all sorts of non-political channels of social service, and none can be better fitted for such service than those who have had an actual experience of motherhood and acquired the varied knowledge that such experience should give. there are numberless other ways, besides social service, in which mothers who have passed the age of forty, providing they possess the necessary aptitudes, can more profitably apply themselves than in hampering, or pampering, their adult children. it is by wisely cultivating their activities in a larger sphere that women whose chief duties in the narrower domestic sphere are over may better ensure their own happiness and the welfare of others than either by fretting and obstructing, or by worrying over, their own children who are no longer children. it is quite true that the children may go astray even when they have ceased to be children. but the time to implant the seeds of virtue, the time to convey a knowledge of life, was when they were small. if it was done well, it only remains to exercise faith and trust. if it was done ill, nothing done later will compensate, for it is merely foolish for a mother who could not educate her children when they were small to imagine that she is able to educate them when they are big. so it is that the problem of the attitude of the child to its parents circles round again to that of the parents to the child. the wise parent realises that childhood is simply a preparation for the free activities of later life, that the parents exist in order to equip children for life and not to shelter and protect them from the world into which they must be cast. education, whatever else it should or should not be, must be an inoculation against the poisons of life and an adequate equipment in knowledge and skill for meeting the chances of life. beyond that, and no doubt in the largest part, it is a natural growth and takes place of itself. chapter ii the meaning of purity i we live in a world in which, as we nowadays begin to realise, we find two antagonistic streams of traditional platitude concerning the question of sexual purity, both flowing from the far past. the people who embody one of these streams of tradition, basing themselves on old-fashioned physiology, assume, though they may not always assert, that the sexual products are excretions, to be dealt with summarily like other excretions. that is an ancient view and it was accepted by such wise philosophers of old times as montaigne and sir thomas more. it had, moreover, the hearty support of so eminent a theological authority as luther, who on this ground preached early marriage to men and women alike. it is still a popular view, sometimes expressed in the crudest terms, and often by people who, not following luther's example, use it to defend prostitution, though they generally exclude women from its operation, as a sex to whom it fails to apply and by whom it is not required. but on the other hand we have another stream of platitude. on this side there is usually little attempt either to deny or to affirm the theory of the opposing party, though they would contradict its conclusions. their theory, if they have one, would usually seem to be that sexual activity is a response to stimulation from without or from within, so that if there is no stimulation there will be no sexual manifestation. they would preach, they tell us, a strenuous ideal; they would set up a wholesome dictate of hygiene. the formula put forward on this basis usually runs: continence is not only harmless but beneficial. it is a formula which, in one form or another, has received apparently enthusiastic approval in many quarters, even from distinguished physicians. we need not be surprised. a proposition so large and general is not easy to deny, and is still more difficult to reverse; therefore it proves welcome to the people--especially the people occupying public and professional positions--who wish to find the path of least resistance, under pressure of a vigorous section of public opinion. yet in its vagueness the proposition is a little disingenuous; it condescends to no definitions and no qualifications; it fails even to make clear how it is to be reconciled with any enthusiastic approval of marriage, for if continence is beautiful how can marriage make it cease to be so? both these streams of feeling, it may be noted, sprang from a common source far back in the primitive human world. all the emanations of the human body, all the spontaneous manifestations of its activities, were mysterious and ominous to early man, pregnant with terror unless met with immense precautions and surrounded by careful ritual. the manifestations of sex were the least intelligible and the most spontaneous. therefore the things of sex were those that most lent themselves to feelings of horror and awe, of impurity and of purity. they seemed so highly charged with magic potency that there were no things that men more sought to avoid, yet none to which they were impelled to give more thought. the manifold echoes of that primitive conception of sex, and all the violent reactions that were thus evolved and eventually bound up with the original impulse, compose the streams of tradition that feed our modern world in this matter and determine the ideas of purity that surround us. at the present day the crude theory of the sexual impulse held on one side, and the ignorant rejection of theory altogether on the other side, are beginning to be seen as both alike unjustified. we begin to find the grounds for a sounder theory. not indeed that the problems of sex, which go so deeply into the whole personal and social life, can ever be settled exclusively upon physiological grounds. but we have done much to prepare even the loftiest building of love when we have attained a clear view of its biological basis. the progress of chemico-physiological research during recent years has now brought us to new ground for our building. indeed the image might well be changed altogether, and it might be said that science has entirely transferred the drama of reproduction to a new stage with new actors. therewith the immense emphasis placed on excretion, and the inevitable reaction that emphasis aroused, both alike disappear. the sexual protagonists are no longer at the surface but within the most secret recesses of the organism, and they appear to science under the name of hormones or internal secretions, always at work within and never themselves condescending to appear at all. those products of the sexual glands which in both sexes are cast out of the body, and at an immature stage of knowledge appeared to be excretions, are of primary reproductive importance, but, as regards the sexual constitution of the individual, they are of far less importance than the internal secretions of these very same glands. it is, however, by no means only the specifically sexual glands which thus exert a sexual influence within the organism. other glands in the brain, the throat, and the abdomen,--such as the thyroid and the adrenals,--are also elaborating fermentative secretions to throw into the system. their mutual play is so elaborate that it is only beginning to be understood. some internal secretions stimulate, others inhibit, and the same secretions may under different conditions do either. this fact is the source of many degrees and varieties of energy and formative power in the organism. taken altogether, the internal secretions are the forces which build up the man's and woman's distinctively sexual constitution: the special disposition and growth of hair, the relative development of breasts and pelvis, the characteristic differences in motor activity, the varying emotional desires and needs. it is in the complex play of these secretions that we now seek the explanation of all the peculiarities of sexual constitution, imperfect or one-sided physical and psychic development, the various approximations of the male to female bodily and emotional disposition, of the female to the male, all the numerous gradations that occur, naturally as we now see, between the complete man and the complete woman. when we turn the light of this new conception on to our old ideas of purity,--to the virtue or the vice, accordingly as we may have been pleased to consider it, of sexual abstinence,--we begin to see that those ideas need radical revision. they appear in a new light, their whole meaning is changed. no doubt it may be said they never had the validity they appeared to possess, even when we judge them by the crudest criterion, that of practice. thus, while it is the rule for physicians to proclaim the advantages of sexual continence, there is no good reason to believe that they have themselves practised it in any eminent degree. a few years ago an inquiry among thirty-five distinguished physicians, chiefly german and russian, showed that they were nearly all of opinion that continence is harmless, if not beneficial. but meirowsky found by inquiry of eighty-six physicians, of much the same nationalities, that only one had himself been sexually abstinent before marriage. there seem to be no similar statistics for the english-speaking countries, where there exists a greater modesty--though not perhaps notably less need for it--in the making of such confessions. but if we turn to the allied profession which is strongly on the side of sexual abstinence, we find that among theological students, as has been shown in the united states, while prostitution may be infrequent, no temptation is so frequent or so potent, and in most cases so irresistible, as that to solitary sexual indulgence. such is the actual attitude towards the two least ideal forms of sexual practice--as distinguished from mere theory--on the part of the two professions which most definitely pronounce in favour of continence. it is necessary, however, as will now be clearer, to set our net more widely. we must take into consideration every form and degree of sexual manifestation, normal and abnormal, gross and ethereal. when we do this, even cautiously and without going far afield, sexual abstinence is found to be singularly elusive. rohleder, a careful and conscientious investigator, has asserted that such abstinence, in the true and complete sense, is absolutely non-existent, the genuine cases in which sexual phenomena of some kind or other fail to manifest themselves being simply cases of inborn lack of sexual sensibility. he met, indeed, a few people who seemed exceptions to the general rule, but, on better knowledge, he found that he was mistaken, and that so far from being absent in these people the sexual instinct was present even in its crudest shapes. the activity of sex is an activity that on the physical side is generated by the complex mechanism of the ductless glands and displayed in the whole organism, physical and psychic, of the individual, who cannot abolish that activity, although to some extent able to regulate the forms in which it is manifested, so that purity cannot be the abolition or even the indefinite suspension of sexual manifestations; it must be the wise and beautiful control of them. it is becoming clear that the old platitudes can no longer be maintained, and that if we wish to improve our morals we must first improve our knowledge. ii we have seen that various popular beliefs and conventional assumptions concerning the sexual impulse can no longer be maintained. the sexual activities of the organism are not mere responses to stimulation, absent if we choose to apply no stimulus, never troubling us if we run away from them, harmless if we enclose them within a high wall. nor do they constitute a mere excretion, or a mere appetite, which we can control by a crude system of hygiene and dietetics. we better understand the psycho-sexual constitution if we regard the motive power behind it as a dynamic energy, produced and maintained by a complex mechanism at certain inner foci of the body, and realise that whatever periodic explosive manifestations may take place at the surface, the primary motive source lies in the intimate recesses of the organism, while the outcome is the whole physical and spiritual energy of our being under those aspects which are most forcible and most aspiring and even most ethereal. this conception, we find, is now receiving an admirable and beautifully adequate physical basis in the researches of distinguished physiologists in various lands concerning the parts played by the ductless glands of the body, in sensitive equilibrium with each other, pouring out into the system stimulating and inhibiting hormones, which not only confer on the man's or woman's body those specific sexual characters which we admire but at the same time impart the special tone and fibre and polarity of masculinity or femininity to the psychic disposition. yet, even before brown-séquard's first epoch-making suggestion had set physiologists to search for internal secretions, the insight of certain physicians on the medico-psychological side was independently leading towards the same dynamic conception. in the middle of the last century anstie, an acute london physician, more or less vaguely realised the transformations of sexual energy into nervous disease and into artistic energy. james hinton, whose genius rendered him the precursor of many modern ideas, had definitely grasped the dynamic nature of sexual activity, and daringly proposed to utilise it, not only as a solution of the difficulties of the personal life but for the revolutionary transformation of morality.[ ] it was the wish to group together all the far-flung manifestations of the inner irresistible process of sexual activity that underlay my own conception of _auto-erotism_, or the spontaneous erotic impulse which arises from the organism apart from all definite external stimulation, to be manifested, or it may be transformed, in mere solitary physical sex activity, in dreams of the night, in day-dreams, in shapes of literature and art, in symptoms of nervous disorder such as some forms of hysteria, and even in the most exalted phases of mystical devotion. since then, a more elaborate attempt to develop a similar dynamic conception of sexual activity has been made by freud; and the psycho-analysts who have followed him, or sometimes diverged, have with endless subtlety, and courageous thoroughness, traced the long and sinuous paths of sexual energy in personality and in life, indeed in all the main manifestations of human activity. [ ] "the man who separated the thought of chastity from service and made it revolve round self," wrote hinton half a century ago in his unpublished mss., "betrayed the human race." "the rule of self," he wrote again, "has two forms: self-indulgence and self-virtue; and nature has two weapons against it: pain and pleasure.... a restraint must always be put away when another's need can be served by putting it away; for so is restored to us the force by which life is made.... how curious it seems! the true evil things are our _good_ things. our thoughts of duty and goodness and chastity, those are the things that need to be altered and put aside; these are the barriers to true goodness.... i foresee the positive denial of _all_ positive morals, the removal of _all_ restrictions. i feel i do not know what 'license,' as we should term it, may not truly belong to the perfect state of man. when there is no self surely there is no restriction; as we see there is none in nature.... may we not say of marriage as st. augustine said of god: 'rather would i, not finding, find thee, than finding, not find thee'?... 'because we like' is the sole legitimate and perfect motive of human action.... if this is what nature affirms then it will be what i believe." this dynamic conception of the sexual impulse, as a force that, under natural conditions, may be trusted to build up a new morality, obviously belongs to an indefinitely remote future. it is a force whose blade is two-edged, for while it strikes at unselfishness it also strikes at selfishness, and at present we cannot easily conceive a time when "there is no self"; we should be more disposed to regard it as a time when there is much humbug. yet for the individual this conception of the constructive power of love retains much enlightenment and inspiration. it is important for us to note about this dynamic sexual energy in the constitution that while it is very firmly and organically rooted, and quite indestructible, it assumes very various shapes. on the physical side all the characters of sexual distinction and all the beauties of sexual adornment are wrought by the power furnished by the co-operating furnaces of the glands, and so also, on the psychic side, are emotions and impulses which range from the simplest longings for sensual contact to the most exalted rapture of union with the infinite. moreover, there is a certain degree of correlation between the physical and the psychic manifestation of sexual energy, and, to some extent, transformation is possible in the embodiment of that energy. a vague belief in the transformation of sexual energy has long been widespread. it is apparently shown in the idea that continence, as an economy in the expenditure of sexual force, may be practised to aid the physical and mental development, while folklore reveals various sayings in regard to the supposed influence of sexual abstinence in the causation of insanity. there is a certain underlying basis of reason in such beliefs, though in an unqualified form they cannot be accepted, for they take no account of the complexity of the factors involved, of the difficulty and often impossibility of effecting any complete transformation, either in a desirable or undesirable direction, and of the serious conflict which the process often involves. the psycho-analysts have helped us here. whether or not we accept their elaborate and often shifting conceptions, they have emphasised and developed a psychological conception of sexual energy and its transformations, before only vaguely apprehended, which is now seen to harmonise with the modern physiological view. the old notion that sexual activity is merely a matter of the voluntary exercise, or abstinence from exercise, of the reproductive functions of adult persons has too long obstructed any clear vision of the fact that sexuality, in the wide and deep sense, is independent of the developments of puberty. this has long been accepted as an occasional and therefore abnormal fact, but we have to recognise that it is true, almost or quite normally, even of early childhood. no doubt we must here extend the word "sexuality"[ ]--in what may well be considered an illegitimate way--to cover manifestations which in the usual sense are not sexual or are at most called "sexual perversions." but this extension has a certain justification in view of the fact that these manifestations can be seen to be definitely related to the ordinary adult forms of sexuality. however we define it, we have to recognise that the child takes the same kind of pleasure in those functions which are natural to his age as the adult is capable of taking in localised sexual functions, that he may weave ideas around such functions, sometimes cultivate their exercise from love of luxury, make them the basis of day-dreams which at puberty, when the ideals of adult life are ready to capture his sexual energy, he begins to grow ashamed of. [ ] perhaps, as applied to the period below puberty, it would be more exact to say "pseudo-sexuality." matsumato has lately pointed out the significance of the fact that the interstitial testicular tissue, essential to the hormonic function of the testes, only becomes active at puberty. at this stage, indeed, we reach a crucial point, though it has usually been overlooked, in the lives of boys and girls, more especially those whose heredity may have been a little tainted or their upbringing a little twisted. for it is here that the transformation of energy and the resulting possibilities of conflict are wont to enter. in the harmoniously developing organism, one may say, there is at this period a gradual and easy transmutation of the childish pleasurable activities into adult activities, accompanied perhaps by a feeling of shame for the earlier feelings, though this quickly passes into a forgetfulness which often leads the adult far astray when he attempts to understand the psychic life of the child. the childish manifestations, it must be remarked, are not necessarily unwholesome; they probably perform a valuable function and develop budding sexual emotions, just as the petals of flowers are developed in pale and contorted shapes beneath the enveloping sheaths. but in our human life the transmutation is often not so easy as in flowers. normally, indeed, the adolescent transformations of sex are so urgent and so manifold--now definite sensual desire, now muscular impulses of adventure, now emotional aspirations in the sphere of art or religion--that they easily overwhelm and absorb all its vaguer and more twisted manifestations in childhood. yet it may happen that by some aberration of internal development or of external influence this conversion of energy may at one point or another fail to be completely effected. then some fragment of infantile sexuality survives, in rare cases to turn all the adult faculties to its service and become reckless and triumphant, in minor and more frequent cases to be subordinated and more or less repressed into the subconscious sphere by voluntary or even involuntary and unconscious effort. then we may have conflict, which, when it works happily, exerts a fortifying and ennobling influence on character, when more unhappily a disturbing influence which may even lead to conditions of definite nervous disorder. the process by which this fundamental sexual energy is elevated from elementary and primitive forms into complex and developed forms is termed sublimation, a term, originally used for the process of raising by heat a solid substance to the state of vapour, which was applied even by such early writers as drayton and davies in a metaphorical and spiritual sense.[ ] in the sexual sphere sublimation is of vital importance because it comes into question throughout the whole of life, and our relation to it must intimately affect our conception of morality. the element of athletic asceticism which is a part of all virility, and is found even--indeed often in a high degree--among savages, has its main moral justification as one aid to sublimation. throughout life sublimation acts by transforming some part at all events of the creative sexual energy from its elementary animal manifestations into more highly individual and social manifestations, or at all events into finer forms of sexual activity, forms that seem to us more beautiful and satisfy us more widely. purity, we thus come to see is, in one aspect, the action of sublimation, not abolishing sexual activity, but lifting it into forms of which our best judgment may approve. [ ] we may gather the history of the term from the _oxford dictionary_. bodies, said davies, are transformed to spirit "by sublimation strange," and ben jonson in _cynthia's revels_ spoke of a being "sublimated and refined"; purchas and jackson, early in the same seventeenth century, referred to religion as "sublimating" human nature, and jeremy taylor, a little later, to "subliming" marriage into a sacrament; shaftesbury, early in the eighteenth century, spoke of human nature being "sublimated by a sort of spiritual chemists" and welton, a little later, of "a love sublimate and refined," while, finally, and altogether in our modern sense, peacock in in his _headlong hall_ referred to "that enthusiastic sublimation which is the source of greatness and energy." we must not suppose--as is too often assumed--that sublimation can be carried out easily, completely, or even with unmixed advantage. if it were so, certainly the old-fashioned moralist would be confronted by few difficulties, but we have ample reason to believe that it is not so. it is with sexual energy, well observes freud, who yet attaches great importance to sublimation, as it is with heat in our machines: only a certain proportion can be transformed into work. or, as it is put by löwenfeld, who is not a constructive philosopher but a careful and cautious medical investigator, the advantages of sublimation are not received in specially high degree by those who permanently deny to their sexual impulse every natural direct relief. the celibate catholic clergy, notwithstanding their heroic achievements in individual cases, can scarcely be said to display a conspicuous excess of intellectual energy, on the whole, over the non-celibate protestant clergy; or, if we compare the english clergy before and after the protestant reformation, though the earlier period may reveal more daring and brilliant personages, the whole intellectual output of the later church may claim comparison with that of the earlier church. there are clearly other factors at work besides sublimation, and even sublimation may act most potently, not when the sexual activities sink or are driven into a tame and monotonous subordination, but rather when they assume a splendid energy which surges into many channels. yet sublimation is a very real influence, not only in its more unconscious and profound operations, but in its more immediate and temporary applications, as part of an athletic discipline, acting best perhaps when it acts most automatically, to utilise the motor energy of the organism in the attainment of any high physical or psychic achievement. we have to realise, however, that these transmutations do not only take place by way of a sublimation of sexual energy, but also by way of a degradation of that energy. the new form of energy produced, that is to say, may not be of a beneficial kind; it may be of a mischievous kind, a form of perversion or disease. sexual self-denial, instead of leading to sublimation, may lead to nervous disorder when the erotic tension, failing to find a natural outlet and not sublimated to higher erotic or non-erotic ends in the real world, is transmuted into an unreal dreamland, thus undergoing what jung terms introversion; while there are also the people already referred to, in whom immature childish sexuality persists into an adult stage of development it is no longer altogether in accord with, so that conflict, with various possible trains of nervous symptoms, may result. disturbances and conflicts in the emotional sexual field may, we know, in these and similar ways become transformed into physical symptoms of disorder which can be seen to have a precise symbolic relationship to definite events in the patient's emotional history, while fits of nervous terror, or anxiety-neurosis, may frequently be regarded as a degradation of thwarted or disturbed sexual energy, manifesting its origin by presenting a picture of sexual excitation transposed into a non-sexual shape of an entirely useless or mischievous character. thus, to sum up, we may say that the sexual energy of the organism is a mighty force, automatically generated throughout life. under healthy conditions that force is transmuted in more or less degree, but never entirely, into forms that further the development of the individual and the general ends of life. these transformations are to some extent automatic, to some extent within the control of personal guidance. but there are limits to such guidance, for the primitive human personality can never be altogether rendered an artificial creature of civilisation. when these limits are reached the transmutation of sexual energy may become useless or even dangerous, and we fail to attain the exquisite flower of purity. iii it may seem that in setting forth the nature of the sexual impulse in the light of modern biology and psychology, i have said but little of purity and less of morality. yet that is as it should be. we must first be content to see how the machine works and watch the wheels go round. we must understand before we can pretend to control; in the natural world, as bacon long ago said, we can only command by obeying. moreover, in this field nature's order is far older and more firmly established than our civilised human morality. in our arrogance we often assume that morality is the master of nature. yet except when it is so elementary or fundamental as to be part of nature, it is but a guide, and a guide that is only a child, so young, so capricious, that in every age its wayward hand has sought to pull nature in a different direction. even only in order to guide we must first see and know. we realise that never more than when we observe the distinction which conventional sex-morals so often makes between men and women. failing to find in women exactly the same kind of sexual emotions, as they find in themselves, men have concluded that there are none there at all. so man has regarded himself as the sexual animal, and woman as either the passive object of his adoring love or the helpless victim of his degrading lust, in either case as a being who, unlike man, possessed an innocent "purity" by nature, without any need for the trouble of acquiring it. of woman as a real human being, with sexual needs and sexual responsibilities, morality has often known nothing. it has been content to preach restraint to man, an abstract and meaningless restraint even if it were possible. but when we have regard to the actual facts of life, we can no longer place virtue in a vacuum. women are just as apt as men to be afflicted by the petty jealousies and narrownesses of the crude sexual impulse; women just as much as men need the perpetual sublimation of erotic desire into forms of more sincere purity, of larger harmony, in gaining which ends all the essential ends of morality are alone gained. the delicate adjustment of the needs of each sex to the needs of the other sex to the end of what chaucer called fine loving, the adjustment of the needs of both sexes to the larger ends of fine living, may well furnish a perpetual moral discipline which extends its fortifying influence to men and women alike. it is this universality of sexual emotion, blending in its own mighty stream, as is now realised, many other currents of emotion, even the parental and the filial, and traceable even in childhood,--the wide efflorescence of an energy constantly generated by a vital internal mechanism,--which renders vain all attempts either to suppress or to ignore the problem of sex, however immensely urgent we might foolishly imagine such attempts to be. even the history of the early christian ascetics in egypt, as recorded in the contemporary _paradise_ of palladius, illustrates the futility of seeking to quench the unquenchable, the flame of fire which is life itself. these "athletes of the lord" were under the best possible conditions for the conquest of lust; they had been driven into the solitude of the desert by a genuine deeply-felt impulse, they could regulate their lives as they would, and they possessed an almost inconceivable energy of resolution. they were prepared to live on herbs, even to eat grass, and to undertake any labour of self-denial. they were so scrupulous that we hear of a holy man who would even efface a woman's footprints in the sand lest a brother might thereby be led into thoughts of evil. yet they were perpetually tempted to seductive visions and desires, even after a monastic life of forty years, and the women seem to have been not less liable to yield to temptation than the men. it may be noted that in the most perfect saints there has not always been a complete suppression of the sexual impulse even on the normal plane, nor even, in some cases, the attempt at such complete suppression. in the early days of christianity the exercise of chastity was frequently combined with a close and romantic intimacy of affection between the sexes which shocked austere moralists. even in the eleventh century we find that the charming and saintly robert of arbrissel, founder of the order of fontevrault, would often sleep with his nuns, notwithstanding the remonstrances of pious friends who thought he was displaying too heroic a manifestation of continence, failing to understand that he was effecting a sweet compromise with continence. if, moreover, we consider the rarest and finest of the saints we usually find that in their early lives there was a period of full expansion of the organic activities in which all the natural impulses had full play. this was the case with the two greatest and most influential saints of the christian church, st. augustine and st. francis of assisi, absolutely unlike as they were in most other respects. sublimation, we see again and again, is limited, and the best developments of the spiritual life are not likely to come about by the rigid attempt to obtain a complete transmutation of sexual energy. the old notion that any strict attempt to adhere to sexual abstinence is beset by terrible risks, insanity and so forth, has no foundation, at all events where we are concerned with reasonably sound and healthy people. but it is a very serious error to suppose that the effort to achieve complete and prolonged sexual abstinence is without any bad results at all, physical or psychic, either in men or women who are normal and healthy. this is now generally recognised everywhere, except in the english-speaking countries, where the supposed interests of a prudish morality often lead to a refusal to look facts in the face. as professor näcke, a careful and cautious physician, stated shortly before his death, a few years ago, the opinion that sexual abstinence has no bad effects is not to-day held by a single authority on questions of sex; the fight is only concerned with the nature and degree of the bad effects which, in näcke's belief--and he was doubtless right--are never of a gravely serious character. yet we have also to remember that not only, as we have seen, is the effort to achieve complete abstinence--which we ignorantly term "purity"--futile, since we are concerned with a force which is being constantly generated within the organism, but in the effort to achieve it we are abusing a great source of beneficent energy. we lose more than half of what we might gain when we cover it up, and try to push it back, to produce, it may be, not harmonious activity in the world, but merely internal confusion and distortion, and perhaps the paralysis of half the soul's energy. the sexual activities of the organism, we cannot too often repeat, constitute a mighty source of energy which we can never altogether repress though by wise guidance we may render it an aid not only to personal development and well-being but to the moral betterment of the world. the attraction of sex, according to a superstition which reaches far back into antiquity, is a baleful comet pointing to destruction, rather than a mighty star to which we may harness our chariot. it may certainly be either, and which it is likely to become depends largely on our knowledge and our power of self-guidance. in old days when, as we have seen, tradition, aided by the most fantastic superstitions, insisted on the baleful aspects of sex, the whole emphasis was placed against passion. since knowledge and self-guidance, without which passion is likely to be in fact pernicious, were then usually absent, the emphasis was needed, and when böhme, the old mystic, declared that the art of living is to "harness our fiery energies to the service of the light," it has recently been even maintained that he was the solitary pioneer of our modern doctrines. but the ages in which ill-regulated passion exceeded--ages at least full of vitality and energy--gave place to a more anæmic society. to-day the conditions are changed, even reversed. moral maxims that were wholesome in feudal days are deadly now. we are in no danger of suffering from too much vitality, from too much energy in the explosive splendour of our social life. we possess, moreover, knowledge in plenty and self-restraint in plenty, even in excess, however wrongly they may sometimes be applied. it is passion, more passion and fuller, that we need. the moralist who bans passion is not of our time; his place these many years is with the dead. for we know what happens in a world when those who ban passion have triumphed. when love is suppressed hate takes its place. the least regulated orgies of love grow innocent beside the orgies of hate. when nations that might well worship one another cut one another's throats, when cruelty and self-righteousness and lying and injustice and all the powers of destruction rule the human heart, the world is devastated, the fibre of the whole organism, of society grows flaccid, and all the ideals of civilisation are debased. if the world is not now sick of hate we may be sure it never will be; so whatever may happen to the world let us remember that the individual is still left, to carry on the tasks of love, to do good even in an evil world. it is more passion and ever more that we need if we are to undo the work of hate, if we are to add to the gaiety and splendour of life, to the sum of human achievement, to the aspiration of human ecstasy. the things that fill men and women with beauty and exhilaration, and spur them to actions beyond themselves, are the things that are now needed. the entire intrinsic purification of the soul, it was held by the great spanish jesuit theologian, suarez, takes place at the moment when, provided the soul is of good disposition, it sees god; he meant after death, but for us the saying is symbolic of the living truth. it is only in the passion of facing the naked beauty of the world and its naked truth that we can win intrinsic purity. not all, indeed, who look upon the face of god can live. it is not well that they should live. it is only the metals that can be welded in the fire of passion to finer services that the world needs. it would be well that the rest should be lost in those flames. that indeed were a world fit to perish, wherein the moralist had set up the ignoble maxim: safety first. chapter iii the objects of marriage what are the legitimate objects of marriage? we know that many people seek to marry for ends that can scarcely be called legitimate, that men may marry to obtain a cheap domestic drudge or nurse, and that women may marry to be kept when they are tired of keeping themselves. these objects in marriage may or may not be moral, but in any case they are scarcely its legitimate ends. we are here concerned to ascertain those ends of marriage which are legitimate when we take the highest ground as moral and civilised men and women living in an advanced state of society and seeking, if we can, to advance that state of society still further. the primary end of marriage is to beget and bear offspring, and to rear them until they are able to take care of themselves. on that basis man is at one with all the mammals and most of the birds. if, indeed, we disregard the originally less essential part of this end--that is to say, the care and tending of the young--this end of marriage is not only the primary but usually the sole end of sexual intercourse in the whole mammal world. as a natural instinct, its achievement involves gratification and well-being, but this bait of gratification is merely a device of nature's and not in itself an end having any useful function at the periods when conception is not possible. this is clearly indicated by the fact that among animals the female only experiences sexual desire at the season of impregnation, and that desire ceases as soon as impregnation takes place, though this is only in a few species true of the male, obviously because, if his sexual desire and aptitude were confined to so brief a period, the chances of the female meeting the right male at the right moment would be too seriously diminished; so that the attentive and inquisitive attitude towards the female by the male animal--which we may often think we see still traceable in the human species--is not the outcome of lustfulness for personal gratification ("wantonly to satisfy carnal lusts and appetites like brute beasts," as the anglican prayer book incorrectly puts it) but implanted by nature for the benefit of the female and the attainment of the primary object of procreation. this primary object we may term the animal end of marriage. this object remains not only the primary but even the sole end of marriage among the lower races of mankind generally. the erotic idea, in its deeper sense, that is to say the element of love, arose very slowly in mankind. it is found, it is true, among some lower races, and it appears that some tribes possess a word for the joy of love in a purely psychic sense. but even among european races the evolution was late. the greek poets, except the latest, showed little recognition of love as an element of marriage. theognis compared marriage with cattle-breeding. the romans of the republic took much the same view. greeks and romans alike regarded breeding as the one recognisable object of marriage; any other object was mere wantonness and had better, they thought, be carried on outside marriage. religion, which preserves so many ancient and primitive conceptions of life, has consecrated this conception also, and christianity--though, as i will point out later, it has tended to enlarge the conception--at the outset only offered the choice between celibacy on the one hand and on the other marriage for the production of offspring. yet, from, an early period in human history, a secondary function of sexual intercourse had been slowly growing up to become one of the great objects of marriage. among animals, it may be said, and even sometimes in man, the sexual impulse, when once aroused, makes but a short and swift circuit through the brain to reach its consummation. but as the brain and its faculties develop, powerfully aided indeed by the very difficulties of the sexual life, the impulse for sexual union has to traverse ever longer, slower, more painful paths, before it reaches--and sometimes it never reaches--its ultimate object. this means that sex gradually becomes intertwined with all the highest and subtlest human emotions and activities, with the refinements of social intercourse, with high adventure in every sphere, with art, with religion. the primitive animal instinct, having the sole end of procreation, becomes on its way to that end the inspiring stimulus to all those psychic energies which in civilisation we count most precious. this function is thus, we see, a by-product. but, as we know, even in our human factories, the by-product is sometimes more valuable than the product. that is so as regards the functional products of human evolution. the hand was produced out of the animal forelimb with the primary end of grasping the things we materially need, but as a by-product the hand has developed the function of making and playing the piano and the violin, and that secondary functional by-product of the hand we account, even as measured by the rough test of money, more precious, however less materially necessary, than its primary function. it is, however, only in rare and gifted natures that transformed sexual energy becomes of supreme value for its own sake without ever attaining the normal physical outlet. for the most part the by-product accompanies the product, throughout, thus adding a secondary, yet peculiarly sacred and specially human, object of marriage to its primary animal object. this may be termed the spiritual object of marriage. by the term "spiritual" we are not to understand any mysterious and supernatural qualities. it is simply a convenient name, in distinction from animal, to cover all those higher mental and emotional processes which in human evolution are ever gaining greater power. it is needless to enumerate the constituents of this spiritual end of sexual intercourse, for everyone is entitled to enumerate them differently and in different order. they include not only all that makes love a gracious and beautiful erotic art, but the whole element of pleasure in so far as pleasure is more than a mere animal gratification. our ancient ascetic traditions often make us blind to the meaning of pleasure. we see only its possibilities of evil and not its mightiness for good. we forget that, as romain rolland says, "joy is as holy as pain." no one has insisted so much on the supreme importance of the element of pleasure in the spiritual ends of sex as james hinton. rightly used, he declares, pleasure is "the child of god," to be recognised as a "mighty storehouse of force," and he pointed out the significant fact that in the course of human progress its importance increases rather than diminishes.[ ] while it is perfectly true that sexual energy may be in large degree arrested, and transformed into intellectual and moral forms, yet it is also true that pleasure itself, and above all, sexual pleasure, wisely used and not abused, may prove the stimulus and liberator of our finest and most exalted activities. it is largely this remarkable function of sexual pleasure which is decisive in settling the argument of those who claim that continence is the only alternative to the animal end of marriage. that argument ignores the liberating and harmonising influences, giving wholesome balance and sanity to the whole organism, imparted by a sexual union which is the outcome of the psychic as well as physical needs. there is, further, in the attainment of the spiritual end of marriage, much more than the benefit of each individual separately. there is, that is to say, the effect on the union itself. for through harmonious sex relationships a deeper spiritual unity is reached than can possibly be derived from continence in or out of marriage, and the marriage association becomes an apter instrument in the service of the world. apart from any sexual craving, the complete spiritual contact of two persons who love each other can only be attained through some act of rare intimacy. no act can be quite so intimate as the sexual embrace. in its accomplishment, for all who have reached a reasonably human degree of development, the communion of bodies becomes the communion of souls. the outward and visible sign has been the consummation of an inward and spiritual grace. "i would base all my sex teaching to children and young people on the beauty and sacredness of sex," wrote a distinguished woman; "sex intercourse is the great sacrament of life, he that eateth and drinketh unworthily eateth and drinketh his own damnation; but it may be the most beautiful sacrament between two souls who have no thought of children."[ ] to many the idea of a sacrament seems merely ecclesiastical, but that is a misunderstanding. the word "sacrament" is the ancient roman name of a soldier's oath of military allegiance, and the idea, in the deeper sense, existed long before christianity, and has ever been regarded as the physical sign of the closest possible union with some great spiritual reality. from our modern standpoint we may say, with james hinton, that the sexual embrace, worthily understood, can only be compared with music and with prayer. "every true lover," it has been well said by a woman, "knows this, and the worth of any and every relationship can be judged by its success in reaching, or failing to reach, this standpoint."[ ] [ ] mrs. havelock ellis, _james hinton: a sketch_, ch. iv. [ ] olive schreiner in a personal letter. [ ] mrs. havelock ellis, _james hinton_, p. . i have mentioned how the church--in part influenced by that clinging to primitive conceptions which always marks religions and in part by its ancient traditions of asceticism--tended to insist mainly, if not exclusively, on the animal object of marriage. it sought to reduce sex to a minimum because the pagans magnified sex; it banned pleasure because the christian's path on earth was the way of the cross; and even if theologians accepted the idea of a "sacrament of nature" they could only allow it to operate when the active interference of the priest was impossible, though it must in justice be said that, before the council of trent, the western church recognised that the sacrament of marriage was effected entirely by the act of the two celebrants themselves and not by the priest. gradually, however, a more reasonable and humane opinion crept into the church. intercourse outside the animal end of marriage was indeed a sin, but it became merely a venial sin. the great influence of st. augustine was on the side of allowing much freedom to intercourse outside the aim of procreation. at the reformation, john à lasco, a catholic bishop who became a protestant and settled in england, laid it down, following various earlier theologians, that the object of marriage, besides offspring, was to serve as a "sacrament of consolation" to the united couple, and that view was more or less accepted by the founders of the protestant churches. it is the generally accepted protestant view to-day.[ ] the importance of the spiritual end of intercourse in marriage, alike for the higher development of each member of the couple and for the intimacy and stability of their union, is still more emphatically set forth by the more advanced thinkers of to-day. [ ] it is well set forth by the rev. h. northcote in his excellent book, _christianity and sex problems_. there is something pathetic in the spectacle of those among us who are still only able to recognise the animal end of marriage, and who point to the example of the lower animals--among whom the biological conditions are entirely different--as worthy of our imitation. it has taken god--or nature, if we will--unknown millions of years of painful struggle to evolve man, and to raise the human species above that helpless bondage to reproduction which marks the lower animals. but on these people it has all been wasted. they are at the animal stage still. they have yet to learn the a.b.c. of love. a representative of these people in the person of an anglican bishop, the bishop of southwark, appeared as a witness before the national birth-rate commission which, a few years ago, met in london to investigate the decline of the birth-rate. he declared that procreation is the sole legitimate object of marriage and that intercourse for any other end was a degrading act of mere "self-gratification." this declaration had the interesting result of evoking the comments of many members of the commission, formed of representative men and women with various stand-points--protestant, catholic, and other--and it is notable that while not one identified himself with the bishop's opinion, several decisively opposed that opinion, as contrary to the best beliefs of both ancient and modern times, as representing a low and not a high moral standpoint, and as involving the notion that the whole sexual activity of an individual should be reduced to perhaps two or three effective acts of intercourse in a lifetime. such a notion obviously cannot be carried into general practice, putting aside the question as to whether it would be desirable, and it may be added that it would have the further result of shutting out from the life of love altogether all those persons who, for whatever reason, feel that it is their duty to refrain from having children at all. it is the attitude of a handful of pharisees seeking to thrust the bulk of mankind into hell. all this confusion and evil comes of the blindness which cannot know that, beyond the primary animal end of propagation in marriage, there is a secondary but more exalted spiritual end. it is needless to insist how intimately that secondary end of marriage is bound up with the practice of birth-control. without birth-control, indeed, it could frequently have no existence at all, and even at the best seldom be free from disconcerting possibilities fatal to its very essence. against these disconcerting possibilities is often placed, on the other side, the un-æsthetic nature of the contraceptives associated with birth-control. yet, it must be remembered, they are of a part with the whole of our civilised human life. we at no point enter the spiritual save through the material. forel has in this connection compared the use of contraceptives to the use of eye-glasses. eye-glasses are equally un-æsthetic, yet they are devices, based on nature, wherewith to supplement the deficiencies of nature. however in themselves un-æsthetic, for those who need them they make the æsthetic possible. eye-glasses and contraceptives alike are a portal to the spiritual world for many who, without them, would find that world largely a closed book. birth-control is effecting, and promising to effect, many functions in our social life. by furnishing the means to limit the size of families, which would otherwise be excessive, it confers the greatest benefit on the family and especially on the mother. by rendering easily possible a selection in parentage and the choice of the right time and circumstances for conception it is, again, the chief key to the eugenic improvement of the race. there are many other benefits, as is now generally becoming clear, which will be derived from the rightly applied practice of birth-control. to many of us it is not the least of these that birth-control effects finally the complete liberation of the spiritual object of marriage. chapter iv husbands and wives it has always been common to discuss the psychology of women. the psychology of men has usually been passed over, whether because it is too simple or too complicated. but the marriage question to-day is much less the wife-problem than the husband-problem. women in their personal and social activities have been slowly expanding along lines which are now generally accepted. but there has been no marked change of responsive character in the activities of men. hence a defective adjustment of men and women, felt in all sorts of subtle as well as grosser ways, most felt when they are husband and wife, and sometimes becoming acute. it is necessary to make clear that, as is here assumed at the outset, "man" and "husband" are not quite the same thing, even when they refer to the same person. no doubt that is also true of "woman" and "wife." a woman in her quality as woman may be a different kind of person from what she is in her function as wife. but in the case of a man the distinction is more marked. one may know a man well in the world as a man and not know him at all in his home as a husband; not necessarily that he is unfavourably revealed in the latter capacity. it is simply that he is different. the explanation is not really far to seek. a man in the world is in vital response to the influences around him. but a husband in the home is playing a part which was created for him long centuries before he was born. he is falling into a convention, which, indeed, was moulded to fit many masculine human needs but has become rigidly traditionalised. thus the part no longer corresponds accurately to the player's nature nor to the circumstances under which it has to be played. in the marriage system which has prevailed in our world for several thousand years, a certain hierarchy, or sacred order in authority, has throughout been recognised. the family has been regarded as a small state of which the husband and father is head. classic paganism and christianity differed on many points, but they were completely at one on this. the roman system was on a patriarchal basis and continued to be so theoretically even when in practise it came to allow great independence to the wife. christianity, although it allowed complete spiritual freedom to the individual, introduced no fundamentally new theory of the family, and, indeed, re-inforced the old theory by regarding the family as a little church of which the husband was the head. just as christ is the head of the church, st. paul repeatedly asserted, so the husband is the head of the wife; therefore, as it was constantly argued during the middle ages, a man is bound to rule his wife. st. augustine, the most influential of christian fathers, even said that a wife should be proud to consider herself as the servant of her husband, his _ancilla_, a word that had in it the suggestion of slave. that was the underlying assumption throughout the middle ages, for the northern germanic peoples, having always been accustomed to wife-purchase before their conversion, had found it quite easy to assimilate the christian view. protestantism, even puritanism with its associations of spiritual revolt, so far from modifying the accepted attitude, strengthened it, for they found authority for all social organisation in the bible, and the bible revealed an emphatic predominance of the jewish husband, who possessed essential rights to which the wife had no claim. milton, who had the poet's sensitiveness to the loveliness of woman, and the lonely man's feeling for the solace of her society, was yet firmly assured of the husband's superiority over his wife. he has indeed furnished the classical picture of it in adam and eve, "he for god only, she for god in him," and to that god she owed "subjection," even though she might qualify it by "sweet reluctant amorous delay." this was completely in harmony with the legal position of the wife. as a subject she was naturally in subjection; she owed her husband the same loyalty as a subject owes the sovereign; her disloyalty to him was termed a minor form of treason; if she murdered him the crime was legally worse than murder and she rendered herself liable to be burnt. we see that all the influences on our civilisation, religious and secular, southern and northern, have combined to mould the underlying bony structure of our family system in such a way that, however it may appear softened and disguised on the surface, the husband is the head and the wife subject to him. we must not be supposed hereby to deny that the wife has had much authority, many privileges, considerable freedom, and in individual cases much opportunity to domineer, whatever superiority custom or brute strength may have given the husband. there are henpecked husbands, it has been remarked, even in aboriginal australia. it is necessary to avoid the error of those enthusiasts for the emancipation of women who, out of their eager faith in the future of women, used to describe her past as one of scarcely mitigated servitude and hardship. if women had not constantly succeeded in overcoming or eluding the difficulties that beset them in the past, it would be foolish to cherish any faith in their future. it must, moreover, be remembered that the very constitution of that ecclesiastico-feudal hierarchy which made the husband supreme over the wife, also made the wife jointly with her husband supreme over their children and over their servants. the middle ages, alike in england and in france, as doubtless in christendom generally, accepted the rule laid down in gratian's _decretum_, the great mediæval text-book of canon law, that "the husband may chastise his wife temperately, for she is of his household," but the wife might chastise her daughters and her servants, and she sometimes exercised that right in ways that we should nowadays think scarcely temperate. if we seek to observe how the system worked some five hundred years ago when it had not yet become, as it is to-day, both weakened and disguised, we cannot do better than turn to the _paston letters_, the most instructive documents we possess concerning the domestic life of excellent yet fairly average people of the upper middle class in england in the fifteenth century. marriage was still frankly and fundamentally (as it was in the following century and less frankly later) a commercial transaction. the wooer, when he had a wife in view, stated as a matter of course that he proposed to "deal" in the matter; it was quite recognised on both sides that love and courtship must depend on whether the "deal" came off satisfactorily. john paston approached sir thomas brews, through a third person, with a view to negotiate a marriage with his daughter margery. she was willing, even eager, and while the matter was still uncertain she wrote him a letter on valentine's day, addressing him as "right reverent and worshipful and my right well-beloved valentine," to tell him that it was impossible for her father to offer a larger dowry than he had already promised. "if that you could be content with that good, and my poor person, i would be the merriest maiden on ground." in his first letter--boldly written, he says, without her knowledge or license--he addresses her simply as "mistress," and assures her that "i am and will be yours and at your commandment in every wise during my life." a few weeks later, addressing him as "right worshipful master," she calls him "mine own sweetheart," and ends up, as she frequently does, "your servant and bedeswoman." some months later, a few weeks after marriage, she addresses her husband in the correct manner of the time as "right reverent and worshipful husband," asking him to buy her a gown as she is weary of wearing her present one, it is so cumbrous. five years later she refers to "all" the babies, and writes in haste: "right reverent and worshipful sir, in my most humble wise i recommend me unto you as lowly as i can," etc., though she adds in a postscript: "please you to send for me for i think long since i lay in your arms." if we turn to another wife of the paston family, a little earlier in the century, margaret paston, whose husband's name also was john, we find the same attitude even more distinctly expressed. she always addressed him in her most familiar letters, showing affectionate concern for his welfare, as "right reverent and worshipful husband" or "right worshipful master." it is seldom that he writes to her at all, but when he writes the superscription is simply "to my mistress paston," or "my cousin," with little greeting at either beginning or end. once only, with unexampled effusion, he writes to her as "my own dear sovereign lady" and signs himself "your true and trusting husband."[ ] [ ] we see just the same formulas in the fifteenth century letters of the stonor family (_stonor letters and papers_, camden society), though in these letters we seem often to find a lighter and more playful touch than was common among the pastons. i may refer here to dr. powell's learned and well written book (with which i was not acquainted when i wrote this chapter), _english domestic relations - _ (columbia university press). if we turn to france the relation of the wife to her husband was the same, or even more definitely dependent, for he occupied the place of father to her as well as of husband and sovereign, in this respect carrying on a tradition of roman law. she was her husband's "wife and subject"; she signed herself "vostre humble obéissante fille et amye." if also we turn to the _book of the chevalier de la tour-landry_ in anjou, written at the end of the fourteenth century, we find a picture of the relations of women to men in marriage comparable to that presented in the _paston letters_, though of a different order. this book was, as we know, written for the instruction of his daughters by a knight who seems to have been a fairly average man of his time in his beliefs, and in character, as he has been described, probably above it, "a man of the world, a christian, a parent, and a gentleman." his book is full of interesting light on the customs and manners of his day, though it is mainly a picture of what the writer thought ought to be rather than what always was. herein the knight is sagacious and moderate, much of his advice is admirably sound for every age. he is less concerned with affirming the authority of husbands than with assuring the happiness and well-being of his dearly loved daughters. but he clearly finds this bound up with the recognition of the authority of the husband, and the demands he makes are fairly concordant with the relationships we see established among the pastons. the knight abounds in illustrations, from lot's daughters down to his own time, for the example or the warning of his daughters. the ideal he holds up to them is strictly domestic and in a sense conventional. he puts the matter on practical rather than religious or legal grounds, and his fundamental assumption is "that no woman ought ever to thwart or refuse to obey the ordinance of her lord; that is, if she is either desirous to be mistress of his affections or to have peace and understanding in the house. for very evident reasons submission should begin on her part." one would like to know what duties the knight inculcated on husbands, but the corresponding book he wrote for the guidance of his sons appears no longer to be extant. on the whole, the fundamental traditions of our western world concerning the duties of husbands and wives are well summed up in what pollock and maitland term "that curious cabinet of antiquities, the marriage ritual of the english church." here we find that the husband promises to love and cherish the wife, but she promises not only to love and cherish but also to obey him, though, it may be noted, this point was not introduced into english marriage rites until the fourteenth century, when the wife promised to be "buxom" (which then meant submissive) and "bonair" (courteous and kind), while in some french and spanish rites it has never been introduced at all. but we may take it to be generally implied. in the final address to the married couple the priest admonishes the bride that the husband is the head of the wife, and that her part is submission. in some more ancient and local rituals this point was further driven home, and on the delivery of the ring the bride knelt and kissed the bridegroom's right foot. in course of time this was modified, at all events in france, and she simply dropped the ring, so that her motion of stooping was regarded as for the purpose of picking it up. i note that change for it is significant of the ways in which we modify the traditions of the past, not quite abandoning them but pretending that they have other than the fundamental original motives. we see just the same thing in the use of the ring, which was in the first place a part of the bride-price, frequently accompanied by money, proof that the wife had been duly purchased. it was thus made easy to regard the ring as really a golden fetter. that idea soon became offensive, and the new idea was originated that the ring was a pledge of affection; thus, quite early in some countries, the husband, also wore a wedding ring. the marriage order illustrated by the _paston letters_ and the _book of the chevalier de la tour-landry_ before the reformation, and the anglican book of common prayer afterwards, has never been definitely broken; it is a part of our living tradition to-day. but during recent centuries it has been overlaid by the growth of new fashions and sentiments which have softened its hard outlines to the view. it has been disguised, notably during the eighteenth century, by the development of a new feeling of social equality, chiefly initiated in france, which, in an atmosphere of public intercourse largely regulated by women, made the ostentatious assertion of the husband's headship over his wife displeasing and even ridiculous. then, especially in the nineteenth century, there began another movement, chiefly initiated in england and carried further in america, which affected the foundations of the husband's position from beneath. this movement consisted in a great number of legislative measures and judicial pronouncements and administrative orders--each small in itself and never co-ordinated--which taken altogether have had a cumulative effect in immensely increasing the rights of the wife independently of her husband or even in opposition to him. thus at the present time the husband's authority has been overlaid by new social conventions from above and undermined by new legal regulations from below. yet, it is important to realise, although the husband's domestic throne has been in appearance elegantly re-covered and in substance has become worm-eaten, it still stands and still retains its ancient shape and structure. there has never been a french revolution in the home, and that revolution itself, which modified society so extensively, scarcely modified the legal supremacy of the husband at all, even in france under the code napoléon and still less anywhere else. interwoven with all the new developments, and however less obtrusive it may have become, the old tradition still continues among us. since, also, the husband is, conventionally and in large measure really, the economic support of the home,--the work of the wife and even actual financial contributions brought by her not being supposed to affect that convention,--this state of things is held to be justified. thus when a man enters the home as a husband, to seat himself on the antique domestic throne and to play the part assigned to him of old, he is involuntarily, even unconsciously, following an ancient tradition and taking his place in a procession of husbands which began long ages before he was born. it thus comes about that a man, even after he is married, and a husband are two different persons, so that his wife who mainly knows him as a husband may be unable to form any just idea of what he is like as a man. as a husband he has stepped out of the path that belongs to him in the world, and taken on another part which has called out altogether different reactions, so he is sometimes a much more admirable person in one of these spheres--whichever it may be--than in the other. we must not be surprised if the husband's position has sometimes developed those qualities which from the modern point of view are the less admirable. in this respect the sovereign husband resembles the sovereign state. the sovereign state, as it has survived from renaissance days in our modern world, may be made up of admirable people, yet as a state they are forced into an attitude of helpless egoism which nowadays fails to commend itself to the outside world, and the tendency of scientific jurists to-day is to deal very critically with the old conception of the sovereign state. it is so with the husband in the home. he was thrust by ancient tradition into a position of sovereignty which impelled him to play a part of helpless egoism. he was a celestial body in the home around which all the other inmates were revolving satellites. the hours of rising and retiring, the times of meals and their nature and substance, all the activities of the household--in which he himself takes little or no part--are still arranged primarily to suit his work, his play, and his tastes. this is an accepted matter of course, and not the result of any violent self-assertion on his part. it is equally an accepted matter of course that the wife should be constantly occupied in keeping this little solar system in easy harmonious movement, evolving from it, if she has the skill, the music of the spheres. she has no recognised independent personality of her own, nor even any right to go away by herself for a little change and recreation. any work of her own, play of her own, tastes of her own, must be strictly subordinated, if not suppressed altogether. in the old days, from which our domestic traditions proceed, little hardship was thus inflicted on the wife. her rights and privileges were, indeed, far less than those of the modern woman, but for that very reason the home offered her a larger field; beneath the shelter of her husband the irresponsible wife might exert a maximum of influential activity with a minimum of rights and privileges of her own. to many men, even to-day, that state of things seems the realisation of an ideal. yet to women it seems increasingly less so, and of necessity since the cleavage between the position of woman in society and law, and the position of the wife in the sacramental bonds of wedlock, is daily becoming greater. to-day a woman, who possibly for ten years has been leading her own life of independent work, earning her own living, choosing her own conditions in accordance with her own needs, and selecting her own periods of recreation in accordance with her own tastes, whether or not this may have included the society of a man-friend--such a woman suddenly finds on marriage, and without any assertion of authority on her husband's part, that all the outward circumstances of her life are reversed and all her inner spontaneous movements arrested. there may be no signs of this on the surface of her conduct. she loves her husband too much to wish to hurt his feelings by explaining the situation, and she values domestic peace too much to risk friction by making unexpected claims. but beneath the surface there is often a profound discontent, and even in women who thought they had gained an insight into life, a sense of disillusion. everyone knows this who is privileged to catch a glimpse into the hearts of women--often women of most distinguished intelligence as well as women of quite ordinary nature--who leave a life of spontaneous activity in the world to enter the home.[ ] [ ] while this condition of things is sometimes to be found in the more distinguished minority and in well-to-do families, it is, of course, among the great labouring majority that it is most conspicuous. mrs. will crooks, of poplar, speaking to a newspaper reporter (_daily chronicle_, feb., ), truly remarked: "at present the average married woman's working day is a flagrant contradiction of all trade-union ideals. the poor thing is slaving all the time! what she needs--what she longs for--is just a little break or change now and again, an opportunity to get her mind off her work and its worries. if her husband's hours are reduced to eight, well that gives her a chance, doesn't it? the home and the children are, after all, as much his as hers. with his enlarged leisure he will now be able to take a fair share in home duties. i suggest that they take it turn and turn about--one night he goes out and she looks after the house and the children; the next night she goes out and he takes charge of things at home. she can sometimes go to the cinema, sometimes call on friends. then, say once a week, they can both go out together, taking the children with them. that will be a little change and treat for everybody." it is not to be supposed that in this presentation of the situation in the home, as it is to-day visible to those who are privileged to see beneath the surface, any accusation is brought against the husband. he is no more guilty of an unreasonable conservatism than the wife is guilty of an unreasonable radicalism. each of them is the outcome of a tradition. the point is that the events of the past hundred years have produced a discrepancy in the two lines of tradition, with a resultant lack of harmony, independent of the goodwill of either husband or wife. olive schreiner, in her _woman and labour_, has eloquently set forth the tendency to parasitism which civilisation produces in women; they no longer exercise the arts and industries which were theirs in former ages, and so they become economically dependent on men, losing their energies and aptitudes, and becoming like those dull parasitic animals which live as blood-suckers of their host. that picture, which was of course never true of all women, is now ceasing to be true of any but a negligible minority; it presents, moreover, a parasitism limited to the economic side of life. for if the wife has often been a lazy gold-sucking parasite on her husband in the world, the husband has yet oftener been a helpless service-absorbing parasite on his wife in the home. there is, that is to say, not only an economic parasitism, with no adequate return for financial support, but a still more prevalent domestic parasitism, with an absorption of services for which no return would be adequate. there are many helpful husbands in the home, but there are a larger number who are helpless and have never been trained to be anything else but helpless, even by their wives, who would often detest a rival in household work and management. the average husband enjoys the total effect of his home but is usually unable to contribute any of the details of work and organisation that make it enjoyable. he cannot keep it in order and cleanliness and regulated movement, he seldom knows how to buy the things that are needed for its upkeep, nor how to prepare and cook and present a decent meal; he cannot even attend to his own domestic needs. it is the wife's consolation that most husbands are not always at home. "in ministering to the wants of the family, the woman has reduced man to a state of considerable dependency on her in all domestic affairs, just as she is dependent on him for bodily protection. in the course of ages this has gone so far as to foster a peculiar helplessness on the part of the man, which manifests itself in a somewhat childlike reliance of the husband on the wife. in fact it may be said that the husband is, to all intents and purposes, incapable of maintaining himself without the aid of a woman." this passage will probably seem to many readers to apply quite fairly well to men as they exist to-day in most of those lands which we consider at the summit of our civilisation. yet it was not written of civilisation, or of white men, but of the bantu tribes of east africa,[ ] complete negroes who, while far from being among the lowest savages, belong to a culture which is only just emerging from cannibalism, witchcraft, and customary bloodshed. so close a resemblance between the european husband and the negro husband significantly suggests how remarkable has been the arrest of development in the husband's customary status during a vast period of the world's history. [ ] hon. c. dundas, _journal of the anthropological institute_, vol. , , p. . it is in the considerable group of couples where the husband's work separates him but little from the home that the pressure on the wife is most severe, and without the relief and variety secured by his frequent absence. she has perhaps led a life of her own before marriage, she knows how to be economically independent; now they occupy a small dwelling, they have, maybe, one or two small children, they can only afford one helper in the work or none at all, and in this busy little hive the husband and wife are constantly tumbling over each other. it is small wonder if the wife feels a deep discontent beneath her willing ministrations and misses the devotion of the lover in the perpetual claims of the husband. but the difficulty is not settled if she persuades him to take a room outside. he is devoted to his wife and his home, with good reason, for the wife makes the home and he is incapable of making a home. his new domestic arrangements sink into careless and sordid disorder, and he is conscious of profound discomfort. his wife soon realises that it is a choice between his return to the home and complete separation. most wives never get even as far as this attempt at solution of the difficulty and hide their secret discontent. this is the situation which to-day is becoming intensified and extended on a vast scale. the habit and the taste for freedom, adventure, and economic independence is becoming generated among millions of women who once meekly trod the ancient beaten paths, and we must not be so foolish as to suppose that they can suddenly renounce those habits and tastes at the threshold of marriage. moreover, it is becoming clear to men and to women alike, and for the first time, that the world can be remoulded, and that the claims for better conditions of work, for a higher standard of life, and for the attainment of leisure, which previously had only feebly been put forward, may now be asserted drastically. we see therefore to-day a great revolutionary movement, mainly on the part of men in the world of labour, and we see a corresponding movement, however less ostentatious, mainly on the part of women, in the world of the home. it may seem to some that this new movement of upheaval in the sphere of the home is merely destructive. timid souls have felt the like in every period of transition, and with as little reason. just as we realise that the movement now in progress in the world of labour for a higher standard of life and for, as it has been termed, a larger "leisure-ration," represents a wholesome revolt against the crushing conditions of prolonged monotonous work--the most deadening of all work--and a real advance towards those ideals of democracy which are still so remote, so it is with the movement in the home. that also is the claim for a new and fairer allotment of responsibility, of larger opportunities for freedom and leisure. if in the home the husband is still to be regarded as the capitalist and the wife as the labourer, then at all events it has to be recognised that he owes her not only the satisfaction of her physical needs of food and shelter and clothing, but the opportunity to satisfy the personal spontaneous claims of her own individual nature. just as the readjustment of labour is really only an approach to the long recognised ideals of democracy, so the readjustment of the home, far from being subversive or revolutionary, is merely an approximation to the long recognised ideals of marriage. how in practice, one may finally ask, is this readjustment of the home likely to be carried out? in the first place we are justified in believing that in the future home men will no longer be so helpless, so domestically parasitic, as in the past. this change is indeed already coming about. it is an inestimable benefit throughout life for a man to have been forcibly lifted out of the routine comforts and feminine services of the old-fashioned home and to be thrown into an alien and solitary environment, face to face with nature and the essential domestic human needs (in my own case i owe an inestimable debt to the chance that thus flung me into the australian bush in early life), and one may note that the great war has had, directly and indirectly, a remarkable influence in this direction, for it not only compelled women to exercise many enlarging and fortifying functions commonly counted as pertaining to men, it also compelled men, deprived of accustomed feminine services, to develop a new independent ability for organising domesticity, and that ability, even though it is not permanently exercised in rendering domestic services, must yet always make clear the nature of domestic problems and tend to prevent the demand for unnecessary domestic services. but there is another quite different and more general line along which we may expect this problem to be largely solved. that is by the simplification and organisation of domestic life. if that process were carried to the full extent that is now becoming possible a large part of the problem before us would be at once solved. a great promise for the future of domestic life is held out by the growing adoption of birth-control, by which the wife and mother is relieved from that burden of unduly frequent and unwanted maternity which in the past so often crushed her vitality and destroyed her freshness. but many minor agencies are helpful. to supply heat, light, and motive power even to small households, to replace the wasteful, extravagant, and often inefficient home-cookery by meals cooked outside, as well as to facilitate the growing social habit of taking meals in spacious public restaurants, under more attractive, economical, and wholesome conditions than can usually be secured within the narrow confines of the home, to contract with specially trained workers from outside for all those routines of domestic drudgery which are often so inefficiently and laboriously carried on by the household-worker, whether mistress or servant, and to seek perpetually by new devices to simplify, which often means to beautify, all the everyday processes of life--to effect this in any comprehensive degree is to transform the home from the intolerable burden it is sometimes felt to be into a possible haven of peace and joy.[ ] the trouble in the past, and even to-day, has been, not in any difficulty in providing the facilities but in prevailing people to adopt them. thus in england, even under the stress of the great war, there was among the working population a considerable disinclination--founded on stupid conservatism and a meaningless pride--to take advantage of national kitchens and national restaurants, notwithstanding the superiority of the meals in quality, cheapness, and convenience, to the workers' home meals, so that many of these establishments, even while still fostered by the government, had speedily to close their doors. ancient traditions, that have now become not only empty but mischievous, in these matters still fetter the wife even more than the husband. we cannot regulate even the material side of life without cultivating that intelligence in the development of which civilisation so largely consists. [ ] this aspect of the future of domesticity was often set forth by mrs. havelock ellis, _the new horizon in love and life_, . intelligence, and even something more than intelligence, is needed along the third line of progress towards the modernised home. simplification and organisation can effect nothing in the desired transformation if they merely end in themselves. they are only helpful in so far as they economise energy, offer a more ample leisure, and extend the opportunities for that play of the intellect, that liberation of the emotions with accompanying discipline of the primitive instincts, which are needed not only for the development of civilisation in general, but in particular of the home. domineering egotism, the assertion of greedy possessive rights, are out of place in the modern home. they are just as mischievous when exhibited by the wife as by the husband. we have seen, as we look back, the futility in the end of the ancient structure of the home, however reasonable it was at the beginning, under our different modern social conditions, and for women to attempt nowadays to reintroduce the same structure, merely reversed would be not only mischievous but silly. that spirit of narrow exclusiveness and self centred egoism--even if it were sometimes an _égoisme à deux_--evoked, half a century ago, the scathing sarcasm of james hinton, who never wearied of denouncing the "virtuous and happy homes" which he saw as "floating blotches of verdure on a sea of filth." such outbursts seem extravagant, but they were the extravagance of an idealist at the vision which, as a physician in touch with realities, he had, seen beneath the surface of the home. it is well to insist on the organisation of the mechanical and material side of life. some leaders of women movements feel this so strongly that they insist on nothing else. in old days it was conventionally supposed that women's sphere was that of the feelings; the result has been that women now often take ostentatious pleasure in washing their hands of feelings and accusing men of "sentiment." but that wrongly debased word stands for the whole superstructure of life on the basis of material organisation, for all the finer and higher parts of our nature, for the greater part of civilisation.[ ] the elaboration of the mechanical side of life by itself may merely serve to speed up the pace of life instead of expanding leisure, to pile up the weary burden of luxury, and still further to dissipate the energy of life in petty or frivolous channels.[ ] to bring order into the region of soulless machinery running at random, to raise the super-structure of a genuinely human civilisation, is not a task which either men or women can afford to fling contemptuously to the opposite sex. it concerns them both equally and can only be carried out by both equally, working side by side in the most intimate spirit of mutual comprehension, confiding trust, and the goodwill to conquer the demon of jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive. [ ] "the growth of the sentiments," remarks an influential psychologist of our own time (w. mcdougall, _social psychology_, p. ), "is of the utmost importance for the character and conduct of individuals and of societies; it is the organisation of the affective and conative life. in the absence of sentiments our emotional life would be a mere chaos, without order, consistency, or continuity of any kind; and all our social relations and conduct, being based on the emotions and their impulses would be correspondingly chaotic, unpredictable, and unstable.... again, our judgments of value and of merit are rooted in our sentiments; and our moral principles have the same source, for they are formed by our judgments of moral value." [ ] the destructive effects of the mechanisation of modern life have lately been admirably set forth, and with much precise illustration, by dr. austin freeman, _social decay and regeneration_. this task, it may finally be added, is always an adventure. however well organised the foundations of life may be, life must always be full of risks. we may smile, therefore, when it is remarked that the future developments of the home are risky. birds in the air and fishes in the sea, quite as much as our own ancestors on the earth, have always found life full of risks. it was the greatest risk of all when they insisted on continuing on the old outworn ways and so became extinct. if the home is an experiment and a risky experiment, one can only say that life is always like that. we have to see to it that in this central experiment, on which our happiness so largely depends, all our finest qualities are mobilised. even the smallest homes under the new conditions cannot be built to last with small minds and small hearts. indeed the discipline of the home demands not only the best intellectual qualities that are available, but often involves--and in men as well as in women--a spiritual training fit to make sweeter and more generous saints than any cloister. the greater the freedom, the more complete the equality of husband and wife, the greater the possibilities of discipline and development. in view of the rigidities and injustices of the law, many couples nowadays dispense with legal marriage, and form their own private contract; that method has sometimes proved more favourable to the fidelity and permanence of love than external compulsion; it assists the husband to remain the lover, and it is often the lover more than the husband that the modern woman needs; but it has always to be remembered that in the present condition of law and social opinion a slur is cast on the children of such unions. no doubt, however, marriage and the home will undergo modifications, which will tend to make these ancient institutions a little more flexible and to permit a greater degree of variation to meet special circumstances. we can occupy ourselves with no more essential task, whether as regards ourselves or the race, than to make more beautiful the house of life for the dwelling of love. chapter v the love-rights of women what is the part of woman, one is sometimes asked, in the sex act? must it be the wife's concern in the marital embrace to sacrifice her own wishes from a sense of love and duty towards her husband? or is the wife entitled to an equal mutual interest and joy in this act with her husband? it seems a simple problem. in so fundamental a relationship, which goes back to the beginning of sex in the dawn of life, it might appear that we could leave nature to decide. yet it is not so. throughout the history of civilisation, wherever we can trace the feelings and ideas which have prevailed on this matter and the resultant conduct, the problem has existed, often to produce discord, conflict, and misery. the problem still exists to-day and with as important results as in the past. in nature, before the arrival of man, it can scarcely be said indeed that any difficulty existed. it was taken for granted at that time that the female had both the right to her own body, and the right to a certain amount of enjoyment in the use of it. it often cost the male a serious amount of trouble--though he never failed to find it worth while--to explain to her the point where he may be allowed to come in, and to persuade her that he can contribute to her enjoyment. so it generally is throughout nature, before we reach man, and, though it is not invariably obvious, we often find it even among the unlikeliest animals. as is well known, it is most pronounced among the birds, who have in some species carried the erotic art,--and the faithful devotion which properly accompanied the erotic art as being an essential part of it,--to the highest point. we have here the great natural fact of courtship. throughout nature, wherever we meet with animals of a high type, often indeed when they are of a lowly type--provided they have not been rendered unnatural by domestication--every act of sexual union is preceded by a process of courtship. there is a sound physiological reason for this courtship, for in the act of wooing and being wooed the psychic excitement gradually generated in the brains of the two partners acts as a stimulant to arouse into full activity the mechanism which ensures sexual union and aids ultimate impregnation. such courtship is thus a fundamental natural fact. it is as a natural fact that we still find it in full development among a large number of peoples of the lower races whom we are accustomed to regard as more primitive than ourselves. new conditions, it is true, soon enter to complicate the picture presented by savage courtship. the economic element of bargaining, destined to prove so important, comes in at an early stage. and among peoples leading a violent life, and constantly fighting, it has sometimes happened, though not always, that courtship also has been violent. this is not so frequent as was once supposed. with better knowledge it was found that the seeming brutality once thought to take the place of courtship among various peoples in a low state of culture was really itself courtship, a rough kind of play agreeable to both parties and not depriving the feminine partner of her own freedom of choice. this was notably the case as regards so-called "marriage by capture." while this is sometimes a real capture, it is more often a mock capture; the lover perhaps pursues the beloved on horseback, but she is as fleet and as skilful as he is, cannot be captured unless she wishes to be captured, and in addition, as among the kirghiz, she may be armed with a formidable whip; so that "marriage by capture," far from being a hardship imposed on women is largely a concession to their modesty and a gratification of their erotic impulses. even when the chief part of the decision rests with masculine force courtship is still not necessarily or usually excluded, for the exhibition of force by a lover,--and this is true for civilised as well as for savage women,--is itself a source of pleasurable stimulation, and when that is so the essence of courtship may be attained even more successfully by the forceful than by the humble lover. the evolution of society, however, tended to overlay and sometimes even to suppress those fundamental natural tendencies. the position of the man as the sole and uncontested head of the family, the insistence on paternity and male descent, the accompanying economic developments, and the tendency to view a woman less as a self-disposing individual than as an object of barter belonging to her father, the consequent rigidity of the marriage bond and the stern insistence on wifely fidelity--all these conditions of developing civilisation, while still leaving courtship possible, diminished its significance and even abolished its necessity. moreover, on the basis of the social, economic, and legal developments thus established, new moral, spiritual, and religious forces were slowly generated, which worked on these rules of merely exterior order, and interiorised them, thus giving them power over the souls as well as over the bodies of women. the result was that, directly and indirectly, the legal, economic, and erotic rights of women were all diminished. it is with the erotic rights only that we are here concerned. no doubt in its erotic aspects, as well as in its legal and economic aspects, the social order thus established was described, and in good faith, as beneficial to women, and even as maintained in their interests. monogamy and the home, it was claimed, alike existed for the benefit and protection of women. it was not so often explained that they greatly benefited and protected men, with, moreover, this additional advantage that while women were absolutely confined to the home, men were free to exercise their activities outside the home, even, with tacit general consent, on the erotic side. whatever the real benefits, and there is no occasion for questioning them, of the sexual order thus established, it becomes clear that in certain important respects it had an unnatural and repressive influence on the erotic aspect of woman's sexual life. it fostered the reproductive side of woman's sexual life, but it rendered difficult for her the satisfaction of the instinct for that courtship which is the natural preliminary of reproductive activity, an instinct even more highly developed in the female than in the male, and the more insistent because in the order of nature the burden of maternity is preceded by the reward of pleasure. but the marriage order which had become established led to the indirect result of banning pleasure in women, or at all events in wives. it was regarded as too dangerous, and even as degrading. the women who wanted pleasure were not considered fit for the home, but more suited to be devoted to an exclusive "life of pleasure," which soon turned out to be not their own pleasure but men's. a "life of pleasure," in that sense or in any other sense, was not what more than a small minority of women ever desired. the desire of women for courtship is not a thing by itself, and was not implanted for gratification by itself. it is naturally intertwined--and to a much greater degree than the corresponding desire in men--with her deepest personal, family, and social instincts, so that if these are desecrated and lost its charm soon fades. the practices and the ideals of this established morality were both due to men, and both were so thoroughly fashioned that they subjugated alike the actions and the feelings of women. there is no sphere which we regard as so peculiarly women's sphere as that of love. yet there is no sphere which in civilisation women have so far had so small a part in regulating. their deepest impulses--their modesty, their maternity, their devotion, their emotional receptivity--were used, with no conscious and deliberate machiavellism, against themselves, to mould a moral world for their habitation which they would not themselves have moulded. it is not of modern creation, nor by any means due, as some have supposed, to the asceticism of christianity, however much christianity may have reinforced it. indeed one may say that in course of time christianity had an influence in weakening it, for christianity discovered a new reservoir of tender emotion, and such emotion may be transferred, and, as a matter of fact, was transferred, from its first religious channel into erotic channels which were thereby deepened and extended, and without reference to any design of christianity. for the ends we achieve are often by no means those which we set out to accomplish. in ancient classic days this moral order was even more severely established than in the middle ages. montaigne, in the sixteenth century, declared that "marriage is a devout and religious relationship, the pleasures derived from it should be restrained and serious, mixed with some severity." but in this matter he was not merely expressing the christian standpoint but even more that of paganism, and he thoroughly agreed with the old greek moralist that a man should approach his wife "prudently and severely" for fear of inciting her to lasciviousness; he thought that marriage was best arranged by a third party, and was inclined to think, with the ancients, that women are not fitted to make friends of. montaigne has elsewhere spoken with insight of women's instinctive knowledge of the art and discipline of love and has pointed out how men have imposed their own ideals and rules of action on women from whom they have demanded opposite and contradictory virtues; yet, we see, he approves of this state of things and never suggests that women have any right to opinions of their own or feelings of their own when the sacred institution of marriage is in question. montaigne represents the more exalted aspects of the pagan-christian conception of morality in marriage which still largely prevails. but that conception lent itself to deductions, frankly accepted even by montaigne himself, which were by no means exalted. "i find," said montaigne, "that venus, after all, is nothing more than the pleasure of discharging our vessels, just as nature renders pleasurable the discharges from other parts." sir thomas more among catholics, and luther among protestants, said exactly the same thing in other and even clearer words, while untold millions of husbands in christendom down to to-day, whether or not they have had the wit to put their theory into a phrase, have regularly put it into practice, at all events within the consecrated pale of marriage, and treated their wives, "severely and prudently," as convenient utensils for the reception of a natural excretion. obviously, in this view of marriage, sexual activity was regarded as an exclusively masculine function, in the exercise of which women had merely a passive part to play. any active participation on her side thus seemed unnecessary, and even unbefitting, finally, though only in comparatively modern times, disgusting and actually degrading. thus acton, who was regarded half a century ago as the chief english authority on sexual matters, declared that, "happily for society," the supposition that women possess sexual feelings could be put aside as "a vile aspersion," while another medical authority of the same period stated in regard to the most simple physical sign of healthy sexual emotion that it "only happens in lascivious women." this final triumph of the masculine ideals and rule of life was, however, only achieved slowly. it was the culmination of an elaborate process of training. at the outset men had found it impossible to speak too strongly of the "wantonness" of women. this attitude was pronounced among the ancient greeks and prominent in their dramatists. christianity again, which ended by making women into the chief pillars of the church, began by regarding them as the "gate of hell." again, later, when in the middle ages this masculine moral order approached the task of subjugating the barbarians of northern europe, men were horrified at the licentiousness of those northern women at whose coldness they are now shocked. that, indeed, was, as montaigne had seen, the central core of conflict in the rule of life imposed by men on woman. men were perpetually striving, by ways the most methodical, the most subtle, the most far-reaching, to achieve a result in women, which, when achieved, men themselves viewed with dismay. they may be said to be moved in this sphere by two passions, the passion for virtue and the passion for vice. but it so happens that both these streams of passion have to be directed at the same fascinating object: woman. no doubt nothing is more admirable than the skill with which women have acquired the duplicity necessary to play the two contradictory parts thus imposed upon them. but in that requirement the play of their natural reactions tended to become paralysed, and the delicate mechanism of their instincts often disturbed. they were forbidden, except in a few carefully etiquetted forms, the free play of courtship, without which they could not perform their part in the erotic life with full satisfaction either to themselves or their partners. they were reduced to an artificial simulation of coldness or of warmth, according to the particular stage of the dominating masculine ideal of woman which their partner chanced to have reached. but that is an attitude equally unsatisfactory to themselves and to their lovers, even when the latter have not sufficient insight to see through its unreality. it is an attitude so unnatural and artificial that it inevitably tends to produce a real coldness which nothing can disguise. it is true that women whose instincts are not perverted at the roots do not desire to be cold. far from it. but to dispel that coldness the right atmosphere is needed, and the insight and skill of the right man. in the erotic sphere a woman asks nothing better of a man than to be lifted above her coldness, to the higher plane where there is reciprocal interest and mutual joy in the act of love. therein her silent demand is one with nature's. for the biological order of the world involves those claims which, in the human range, are the erotic rights of women. the social claims of women, their economic claims, their political claims, have long been before the world. women themselves have actively asserted them, and they are all in process of realisation. the erotic claims of women, which are at least as fundamental, are not publicly voiced, and women themselves would be the last to assert them. it is easy to understand why that should be so. the natural and acquired qualities of women, even the qualities developed in the art of courtship, have all been utilised in building up the masculine ideal of sexual morality; it is on feminine characteristics that this masculine ideal has been based, so that women have been helpless to protest against it. moreover, even if that were not so, to formulate such rights is to raise the question whether there so much as exists anything that can be called "erotic rights." the right to joy cannot be claimed in the same way as one claims the right to put a voting paper in a ballot box. a human being's erotic aptitudes can only be developed where the right atmosphere for them exists, and where the attitudes of both persons concerned are in harmonious sympathy. that is why the erotic rights of women have been the last of all to be attained. yet to-day we see a change here. the change required is, it has been said, a change of attitude and a resultant change in the atmosphere in which the sexual impulses are manifested. it involves no necessary change in the external order of our marriage system, for, as has already been pointed out, it was a coincident and not designed part of that order. various recent lines of tendency have converged to produce this change of attitude and of atmosphere. in part the men of to-day are far more ready than the men of former days to look upon women as their comrades in the every day work of the world, instead of as beings who were ideally on a level above themselves and practically on a level considerably below themselves. in part there is the growing recognition that women have conquered many elementary human rights of which before they were deprived, and are more and more taking the position of citizens, with the same kinds of duties, privileges, and responsibilities as men. in part, also, it may be added, there is a growing diffusion among educated people of a knowledge of the primary facts of life in the two sexes, slowly dissipating and dissolving many foolish and often mischievous superstitions. the result is that, as many competent observers have noted, the young men of to-day show a new attitude towards women and towards marriage, an attitude of simplicity and frankness, a desire for mutual confidence, a readiness to discuss difficulties, an appeal to understand and to be understood. such an attitude, which had hitherto been hard to attain, at once creates the atmosphere in which alone the free spontaneous erotic activities of women can breathe and live. this consummation, we have seen, may be regarded as the attainment of certain rights, the corollary of other rights in the social field which women are slowly achieving as human beings on the same human level as men. it opens to women, on whom is always laid the chief burden of sex, the right to the joy and exaltation of sex, to the uplifting of the soul which, when the right conditions are fulfilled, is the outcome of the intimate approach and union of two human beings. yet while we may find convenient so to formulate it, we need to remember that that is only a fashion of speech, for there are no rights in nature. if we take a broader sweep, what we may choose to call an erotic right is simply the perfect poise of the conflicting forces of life, the rhythmic harmony in which generation is achieved with the highest degree of perfection compatible with the make of the world. it is our part to transform nature's large conception into our own smaller organic mould, not otherwise than the plants, to whom we are far back akin, who dig their flexible roots deep into the moist and fruitful earth, and so are able to lift up glorious heads toward the sky. chapter vi the play-function of sex when we hear the sexual functions spoken of we commonly understand the performance of an act which normally tends to the propagation of the race. when we see the question of sexual abstinence discussed, when the desirability of sexual gratification is asserted or denied, when the idea arises of the erotic rights and needs of woman, it is always the same act with its physical results that is chiefly in mind. such a conception is quite adequate for practical working purposes in the social world. it enables us to deal with all our established human institutions in the sphere of sex, as the arbitrary assumptions of euclid enable us to traverse the field of elementary geometry. but beyond these useful purposes it is inadequate and even inexact. the functions of sex on the psychic and erotic side are of far greater extension than any act of procreation, they may even exclude it altogether, and when we are concerned with the welfare of the individual human being we must enlarge our outlook and deepen our insight. there are, we know, two main functions in the sexual relationship, or what in the biological sense we term "marriage," among civilised human beings, the primary physiological function of begetting and bearing offspring and the secondary spiritual function of furthering the higher mental and emotional processes. these are the main functions of the sexual impulse, and in order to understand any further object of the sexual relationship--or even in order to understand all that is involved in the secondary object of marriage--we must go beyond conscious motives and consider the nature of the sexual impulse, physical and psychic, as rooted in the human organism. the human organism, as we know, is a machine on which excitations from without, streaming through the nerves and brain, effect internal work, and, notably, stimulate the glandular system. in recent years the glandular system, and especially that of the ductless glands, has taken on an altogether new significance. these ductless glands, as we know, liberate into the blood what are termed "hormones," or chemical messengers, which have a complex but precise action in exciting and developing all those physical and psychic activities which make up a full life alike on the general side and the reproductive side, so that their balanced functions are essential to wholesome and complete existence. in a rudimentary form these functions may be traced back to our earliest ancestors who possessed brains. in those times the predominant sense for arousing the internal mental and emotional faculties was that of smell, the other senses being gradually evolved subsequently, and it is significant that the pituitary, one of the chief ductless glands active in ourselves to-day, was developed out of the nervous centre for smell in conjunction with the membrane of the mouth. the energies of the whole organism were set in action through stimuli arising from the outside world by way of the sense of smell. in process of time the mechanism has become immensely elaborated, yet its healthy activity is ultimately dependent on a rich and varied action and reaction with the external world. it is becoming recognised that the tendency to pluri-glandular insufficiency, with its resulting lack of organic harmony and equilibrium, can be counteracted by the physical and psychic stimuli of intimate contacts with the external world. in this action and reaction, moreover, we cannot distinguish between sexual ends and general ends. the activities of the ductless glands and their hormones equally serve both ends in ways that cannot be distinguished. "the individual metabolism," as a distinguished authority in this field has expressed it, "is the reproductive metabolism."[ ] thus the establishment of our complete activities as human beings in the world is aided by, if not indeed ultimately dependent upon, a perpetual and many-sided play with our environment. [ ] w. blair bell, _the sex-complex,_ , p. . this book is a cautious and precise statement of the present state of knowledge on this subject, although some of the author's psychological deductions must be treated with circumspection. it is thus that we arrive at the importance of the play-function, and thus, also, we realise that while it extends beyond the sexual sphere it yet definitely includes that sphere. there are at least three different ways of understanding the biological function of play. there is the conception of play, on which groos has elaborately insisted, as education: the cat "plays" with the mouse and is thereby educating itself in the skill necessary to catch mice; all our human games are a training in qualities that are required in life, and that is why in england we continue to attribute to the duke of wellington the saying that "the battle of waterloo was won on the playing fields of eton." then there is the conception of play as the utilisation in art of the superfluous energies left unemployed in the practical work of life; this enlarging and harmonising function of play, while in the lower ranges it may be spent trivially, leads in the higher ranges to the production of the most magnificent human achievements. but there is yet a third conception of play, according to which it exerts a direct internal influence--health-giving, developmental, and balancing--on the whole organism of the player himself. this conception is related to the other two, and yet distinct, for it is not primarily a definite education in specific kinds of life-conserving skill, although it may involve the acquisition of such skill, and it is not concerned with the construction of objective works of art, although--by means of contact in human relationship--it attains the wholesome organic effects which may be indirectly achieved by artistic activities. it is in this sense that we are here concerned with what we may perhaps best call the play-function of sex.[ ] [ ] the term seems to have been devised by professor maurice parmelee, _personality and conduct_, , pp. , , . but it is understood by parmelee in a much vaguer and more extended sense than i have used it. as thus understood, the play-function of sex is at once in an inseparable way both physical and psychic. it stimulates to wholesome activity all the complex and inter-related systems of the organism. at the same time it satisfies the most profound emotional impulses, controlling in harmonious poise the various mental instincts. along these lines it necessarily tends in the end to go beyond its own sphere and to embrace and introduce into the sphere of sex the other two more objective fields of play, that of play as education, and that of play as artistic creation. it may not be true, as was said of old time, "most of our arts and sciences were invented for love's sake." but it is certainly true that, in proportion as we truly and wisely exercise the play-function of sex, we are at the same time training our personality on the erotic side and acquiring a mastery of the art of love. the longer i live the more i realise the immense importance for the individual of the development through the play-function of erotic personality, and for human society of the acquirement of the art of love. at the same time i am ever more astonished at the rarity of erotic personality and the ignorance of the art of love even among those men and women, experienced in the exercise of procreation, in whom we might most confidently expect to find such development and such art. at times one feels hopeless at the thought that civilisation in this supremely intimate field of life has yet achieved so little. for until it is generally possible to acquire erotic personality and to master the art of loving, the development of the individual man or woman is marred, the acquirement of human happiness and harmony remains impossible. in entering this field, indeed, we not only have to gain true knowledge but to cast off false knowledge, and, above all, to purify our hearts from superstitions which have no connection with any kind of existing knowledge. we have to cease to regard as admirable the man who regards the accomplishment of the procreative act, with the pleasurable relief it affords to himself, as the whole code of love. we have to treat with contempt the woman who abjectly accepts the act, and her own passivity therein, as the whole duty of love. we have to understand that the art of love has nothing to do with vice, and the acquirement of erotic personality nothing to do with sensuality. but we have also to realise that the art of love is far from being the attainment of a refined and luxurious self-indulgence, and the acquirement of erotic personality of little worth unless it fortifies and enlarges the whole personality in all its aspects. now all this is difficult, and for some people even painful; to root up is a more serious matter than to sow; it cannot all be done in a day. it is not easy to form a clear picture of the erotic life of the average man in our society. to the best informed among us knowledge in this field only comes slowly. even when we have decided what may or may not be termed "average" the sources of approach to this intimate sphere remain few and misleading; at the best the women a man loves remain far more illuminating sources of information than the man himself. the more one knows about him, however, the more one is convinced that, quite independently of the place we may feel inclined to afford to him in the scale of virtue, his conception of erotic personality, his ideas on the art of love, if they have any existence at all, are of a humble character. as to the notion of play in the sphere of sex, even if he makes blundering attempts to practice it, that is for him something quite low down, something to be ashamed of, and he would not dream of associating it with anything he has been taught to regard as belonging to the spiritual sphere. the conception of "divine play" is meaningless to him. his fundamental ideas, his cherished ideals, in the erotic sphere, seem to be reducible to two: ( ) he wishes to prove that he is "a man," and he experiences what seems to him the pride of virility in the successful attainment of that proof; ( ) he finds in the same act the most satisfactory method of removing sexual tension and in the ensuing relief one of the chief pleasures of life. it cannot be said that either of these ideals is absolutely unsound; each is part of the truth; it is only as a complete statement of the truth that they become pathetically inadequate. it is to be noted that both of them are based solely on the physical act of sexual conjunction, and that they are both exclusively self-regarding. so that they are, after all, although the nearest approach to the erotic sphere he may be able to find, yet still not really erotic. for love is not primarily self-regarding. it is the intimate, harmonious, combined play--the play in the wide as well as in the more narrow sense we are here concerned with--of two personalities. it would not be love if it were primarily self-regarding, and the act of intercourse, however essential to secure the propagation of the race, is only an incident, and not an essential in love. let us turn to the average woman. here the picture must usually be still more unsatisfactory. the man at least, crude as we may find his two fundamental notions to be, has at all events attained mental pride and physical satisfaction. the woman often attains neither, and since the man, by instinct or tradition, has maintained a self-regarding attitude, that is not surprising. the husband--by primitive instinct partly, certainly by ancient tradition--regards himself as the active partner in matters of love and his own pleasure as legitimately the prime motive for activity. his wife consequently falls into the complementary position, and regards herself as the passive partner and her pleasure as negligible, if not indeed as a thing to be rather ashamed of, should she by chance experience it. so that, while the husband is content with a mere simulacrum and pretence of the erotic life, the wife has often had none at all. few people realise--few indeed have the knowledge or the opportunity to realise--how much women thus lose, alike in the means to fulfill their own lives and in the power to help others. a woman has a husband, she has marital relationships, she has children, she has all the usual domestic troubles--it seems to the casual observer that she has everything that constitutes a fully developed matron fit to play her proper part in the home and in the world. yet with all these experiences, which undoubtedly are an important part of life, she may yet remain on the emotional side--and, as a matter of fact, frequently remains--quite virginal, as immature as a school-girl. she has not acquired an erotic personality, she has not mastered the art of love, with the result that her whole nature remains ill-developed and unharmonised, and that she is incapable of bringing her personality--having indeed no achieved personality to bring--to bear effectively on the problems of society and the world around her. that alone is a great misfortune, all the more tragic since under favourable conditions, which it should have been natural to attain, it might so easily be avoided. but there is this further result, full of the possibilities of domestic tragedy, that the wife so situated, however innocent, however virtuous, may at any time find her virginally sensitive emotional nature fertilised by the touch of some other man than her husband. it happens so often. a girl who has been carefully guarded in the home, preserved from evil companions, preserved also from what her friends regarded as the contamination of sexual knowledge, a girl of high ideals, yet healthy and robust, is married to a man of whom she probably has little more than a conventional knowledge. yet he may by good chance be the masculine counterpart of herself, well brought up, without sexual experience and ignorant of all but the elementary facts of sex, loyal and honourable, prepared to be, fitted to be, a devoted husband. the union seems to be of the happiest kind; no one detects that anything is lacking to this perfect marriage; in course of time one or more children are born. but during all this time the husband has never really made love to his wife; he has not even understood what courtship in the intimate sense means; love as an art has no existence for him; he has loved his wife according to his imperfect knowledge, but he has never so much as realised that his knowledge was imperfect. she on her side loves her husband; she comes in time indeed to have a sort of tender maternal feeling for him. possibly she feels a little pleasure in intercourse with him. but she has never once been profoundly aroused, and she has never once been utterly satisfied. the deep fountains of her nature have never been unsealed; she has never been fertilised throughout her whole nature by their liberating influence; her erotic personality has never been developed. then something happens. perhaps the husband is called away, it may have been to take part in the great war. the wife, whatever her tender solicitude for her absent partner, feels her solitude and is drawn nearer to friends, perhaps her husband's friends. some man among them becomes congenial to her. there need be no conscious or overt love-making on either side, and if there were the wife's loyalty might be aroused and the friendship brought to an end. love-making is not indeed necessary. the wife's latent erotic needs, while still remaining unconscious, have come nearer to the surface; now that she has grown mature and that they have been stimulated yet unsatisfied for so long, they have, unknown to herself, become insistent and sensitive to a sympathetic touch. the friends may indeed grow into lovers, and then some sort of solution, by divorce or intrigue--scarcely however a desirable kind of solution--becomes possible. but we are here taking the highest ground and assuming that honourable feeling, domestic affection, or a stern sense of moral duty, renders such solution unacceptable. in due course the husband returns, and then, to her utter dismay, the wife discovers, if she has not discovered it before, that during his absence, and for the first time in her life, she has fallen in love. she loyally confesses the situation to her husband, for whom her affection and attachment remain the same as before, for what has happened to her is the coming of a totally new kind of love and not any change in her old love. the situation which arises is one of torturing anxiety for all concerned, and it is not less so when all concerned are animated by noble and self-sacrificing impulses. the husband in his devotion to his wife may even be willing that her new impulses should be gratified. she, on her side, will not think of yielding to desires which seem both unfair to her husband and opposed to all her moral traditions. we are not here concerned to consider the most likely, or the most desirable, exit from this unfortunate situation. the points to note are that it is a situation which to-day actually occurs; that it causes acute unhappiness to at least two people who may be of the finest physical and intellectual type and the noblest character, and that it might be avoided if there were at the outset a proper understanding of the married state and of the part which the art of love plays in married happiness and the development of personality. a woman may have been married once, she may have been married twice, she may have had children by both husbands, and yet it may not be until she is past the age of thirty and is united to a third man that she attains the development of erotic personality and all that it involves in the full flowering of her whole nature. up to then she had to all appearance had all the essential experiences of life. yet she had remained spiritually virginal, with conventionally prim ideas of life, narrow in her sympathies, with the finest and noblest functions of her soul helpless and bound, at heart unhappy even if not clearly realising that she was unhappy. now she has become another person. the new liberated forces from within have not only enabled her to become sensitive to the rich complexities of intimate personal relationship, they have enlarged and harmonised her realisation of all relationships. her new erotic experience has not only stimulated all her energies, but her new knowledge has quickened all her sympathies. she feels, at the same time, more mentally alert, and she finds that she is more alive than before to the influences of nature and of art. moreover, as others observe, however they may explain it, a new beauty has come into her face, a new radiancy into her expression, a new force into all her activities. such is the exquisite flowering of love which some of us who may penetrate beneath the surface of life are now and then privileged to see. the sad part of it is that we see it so seldom and then often so late. it must not be supposed that there is any direct or speedy way of introducing into life a wider and deeper conception of the erotic play-function, and all that it means for the development of the individual, the enrichment of the marriage relationship, and the moral harmony of society. such a supposition would merely be to vulgarise and to stultify the divine and elusive mystery. it is only slowly and indirectly that we can bring about the revolution which in this direction would renew life. we may prepare the way for it by undermining and destroying those degrading traditional conceptions which have persisted so long that they are instilled into us almost from birth, to work like a virus in the heart, and to become almost a disease of the soul. to make way for the true and beautiful revelation, we can at least seek to cast out those ancient growths, which may once have been true and beautiful, but now are false and poisonous. by casting out from us the conception of love as vile and unclean we shall purify the chambers of our hearts for the reception of love as something unspeakably holy. in this matter we may learn a lesson from the psycho-analysts of to-day without any implication that psycho-analysis is necessarily a desirable or even possible way of attaining the revelation of love. the wiser psycho-analysts insist that the process of liberating the individual from outer and inner influences that repress or deform his energies and impulses is effected by removing the inhibitions on the free-play of his nature. it is a process of education in the true sense, not of the suppression of natural impulses nor even of the instillation of sound rules and maxims for their control, not of the pressing in but of the leading out of the individual's special tendencies.[ ] it removes inhibitions, even inhibitions that were placed upon the individual, or that he consciously or unconsciously placed upon himself, with the best moral intentions, and by so doing it allows a larger and freer and more natively spontaneous morality to come into play. it has this influence above all in the sphere of sex, where such inhibitions have been most powerfully laid on the native impulses, where the natural tendencies have been most surrounded by taboos and terrors, most tinged with artificial stains of impurity and degradation derived from alien and antiquated traditions. thus the therapeutical experience of the psycho-analysts reinforces the lessons we learn from physiology and psychology and the intimate experiences of life. [ ] see, for instance, h.w. frink, _morbid fears and compulsions_, , ch. x. sexual activity, we see, is not merely a bald propagative act, nor, when propagation is put aside, is it merely the relief of distended vessels. it is something more even than the foundation of great social institutions. it is the function by which all the finer activities of the organism, physical and psychic, may be developed and satisfied. nothing, it has been said, is so serious as lust--to use the beautiful term which has been degraded into the expression of the lowest forms of sensual pleasure--and we have now to add that nothing is so full of play as love. play is primarily the instinctive work of the brain, but it is brain activity united in the subtlest way to bodily activity. in the play-function of sex two forms of activity, physical and psychic, are most exquisitely and variously and harmoniously blended. we here understand best how it is that the brain organs and the sexual organs are, from the physiological standpoint, of equal importance and equal dignity. thus the adrenal glands, among the most influential of all the ductless glands, are specially and intimately associated alike with the brain and the sex organs. as we rise in the animal series, brain and adrenal glands march side by side in developmental increase of size, and at the same time, sexual activity and adrenal activity equally correspond. lovers in their play--when they have been liberated from the traditions which bound them to the trivial or the gross conception of play in love--are thus moving amongst the highest human activities, alike of the body and of the soul. they are passing to each other the sacramental chalice of that wine which imparts the deepest joy that men and women can know. they are subtly weaving the invisible cords that bind husband and wife together more truly and more firmly than the priest of any church. and if in the end--as may or may not be--they attain the climax of free and complete union, then their human play has become one with that divine play of creation in which old poets fabled that, out of the dust of the ground and in his own image, some god of chaos once created man. chapter vii the individual and the race i the relation of the individual person to the species he belongs to is the most intimate of all relations. it is a relation which almost amounts to identity. yet it somehow seems so vague, so abstract, as scarcely to concern us at all. it is only lately indeed that there has been formulated even so much as a science to discuss this relationship, and the duties which, when properly understood, it throws upon the individual. even yet the word "eugenics," the name of this science, and this art, sometimes arouses a smile. it seems to stand for a modern fad, which the superior person, or even the ordinary plebeian democrat, may pass by on the other side with his nose raised towards the sky. modern the science and art of eugenics certainly seem, though the term is ancient, and the greeks of classic days, as well as their successors to-day, used the word eugeneia for nobility or good birth. it was chosen by francis galton, less than fifty years ago, to express "the effort of man to improve his own breed." but the thing the term stands for is, in reality, also far from modern. it is indeed ancient and may even be nearly as old as man himself. consciously or unconsciously, sometimes under pretexts that have disguised his motives even from himself, man has always been attempting to improve his own quality or at least to maintain it. when he slackens that effort, when he allows his attention to be too exclusively drawn to other ends, he suffers, he becomes decadent, he even tends to die out. primitive eugenics had seldom anything to do with what we call "birth-control." one must not say that it never had. even the mysterious mika operation of so primitive a race as the australians has been supposed to be a method of controlling conception. but the usual method, even of people highly advanced in culture, has been simpler. they preferred to see the new-born infant before deciding whether it was likely to prove a credit to its parents or to the human race generally, and if it seemed not up to the standard they dealt with it accordingly. at one time that was regarded as a cruel and even inhuman method. to-day, when the most civilised nations of the world have devoted all their best energies to competitive slaughter, we may have learnt to view the matter differently. if we can tolerate the wholesale murder and mutilation of the finest specimens of our race in the adult possession of all their aptitudes we cannot easily find anything to disapprove in the merciful disposal of the poorest specimens before they have even attained conscious possession of their senses. but in any case, and whatever we may ourselves be pleased to think or not to think, it is certain that some of the most highly developed peoples of the world have practised infanticide. it is equally certain that the practise has not proved destructive to the emotions of humanity and affection. even some of the lowest human races,--as we commonly estimate them,--while finding it necessary to put aside a certain proportion of their new-born infants, expend a degree of love and even indulgence on the children they bring up which is rarely found among so-called civilised nations. there is no need, however, to consider whether or not infanticide is humane. we are all agreed that it is altogether unnecessary, and that it is seldom that even that incipient form of infanticide called abortion, still so popular among us, need be resorted to. our aim now--so far at all events as mere ideals go--is not to destroy life but to preserve it; we seek to improve the conditions of life and to render unnecessary the premature death of any human creature that has once drawn breath. it is indeed just here that we find a certain clash between the modern view of life and the view of earlier civilisations. the ancients were less careful than we claim to be of the individual, but they were more careful of the race. they cultivated eugenics after their manner, though it was a manner which we reprobate.[ ] we pride ourselves, rightly or wrongly, on our care for the individual; during all the past century we claim to have been strenuously working for an amelioration of the environment which will make life healthier and pleasanter for the individual. but in the concentration of our attention on this altogether desirable end, which we are still far from having adequately attained, we have lost sight of that larger end, the well-being of the race and the amelioration of life itself, not merely of the conditions of life. the most we hope is that somehow the improvement of the conditions of the individual will incidentally improve the stock. these our practical ideals, which have flourished for a century past, arose out of the great french revolution and were inspired by the maxim of that revolution, as formulated by rousseau, that "all men are born equal." that maxim, was overthrown half a century ago; the great biological movement of science, initiated by darwin, showed that it was untenable. all men are not born equal. everyone agrees about that now, but nevertheless the momentum of the earlier movement was so powerful that we still go on acting as though all men are, and always will be, born equal, and that we need not trouble ourselves about heredity but only about the environment. [ ] but this statement must not be left without important qualification. thus the ancient greeks (as moïssidès has shown in _janus_, ), not only their philosophers and statesmen, but also their women, often took the most enlightened interest in eugenics, and, moreover, showed it in practice. they were in many respects far in advance of us. they clearly realised, for instance, the need of a proper interval between conceptions, not only to ensure the health of women, but also the vigour of the offspring. it is natural that among every fine race eugenics should be almost an instinct or they would cease to be a fine race. it is equally natural that among our modern degenerates eugenics is an unspeakable horror, however much, as the psycho-analysts would put it, they rationalise that horror. the way out of this clash of ideals--which has compelled us to hope impossibilities from the environment because we dreaded what seemed the only alternative--is, as we know, furnished by birth-control. an unqualified reliance on the environment, making it ever easier and easier for the feeblest and most defective to be born and survive, could only, in the long run, lead to the degeneration of the whole race. the knowledge of the practice of birth-control gives us the mastery of all that the ancients gained by infanticide, while yet enabling us to cherish that ideal of the sacredness of human life which we profess to honour so highly. the main difficulty is that it demands a degree of scientific precision which the ancients could not possess and might dispense with, so long as they were able to decide the eugenic claims of the infant by actual inspection. we have to be content to determine not what the infant is but when it be likely to be, and that involves a knowledge of the laws of heredity which we are only learning slowly to acquire. we may all in our humble ways help to increase that knowledge by giving it greater extension and more precision through the observations we are able to make on our own families. to such observations galton attached great importance and strove in various ways to further them. detailed records, physical and mental, beginning from birth, are still far from being as common as is desirable, although it is obvious that they possess a permanent personal and family private interest in addition to their more public scientific value. we do not need, and it would indeed be undesirable, to emulate in human breeding the achievements of a luther burbank. we have no right to attempt to impose on any human creature an exaggerated and one-sided development. but it is not only our right, it is our duty, or rather one may say, the natural impulse of every rational and humane person, to seek that only such children may be born as will be able to go through life with a reasonable prospect that they will not be heavily handicapped by inborn defect or special liability to some incapacitating disease. what is called "positive" eugenics--the attempt, that is, to breed special qualities--may well be viewed with hesitation. but so-called "negative" eugenics--the effort to clear all inborn obstacles out of the path of the coming generation--demands our heartiest sympathy and our best co-operation, for as galton, the founder of modern eugenics, wrote towards the end of his life of this new science: "its first object is to check the birth-rate of the unfit, instead of allowing them to come into being, though doomed in large numbers to perish prematurely." we can seldom be absolutely sure what stocks should not propagate, and what two stocks should on no account be blended, but we can attain reasonable probability, and it is on such probabilities in every department of life that we are always called upon to act. it is often said--i have said it myself--that birth-control when practised merely as a limitation of the family, scarcely suffices to further the eugenic progress of the race. if it is not deliberately directed towards the elimination of the worst stocks or the worst possibilities in the blending of stocks, it may even tend to diminish the better stocks since it is the better stocks that are least likely to propagate at random. this is true if other conditions remain equal. it is evident, however, that the other conditions will not remain equal, for no evidence has yet been brought forward to show that birth-control, even when practised without regard to eugenic considerations--doubtless the usual rule up to the present--has produced any degeneration of the race. on the contrary, the evidence seems to show that it has improved the race. the example of holland is often brought forward as evidence in favour of such a tendency of birth-control, since in that country the wide-spread practise of birth-control has been accompanied by an increase in the health and stature of the people, as well as an increase in their numbers to a remarkable degree, for the fall in the birth-rate has been far more than compensated by the fall in the death-rate, while it is said that the average height of the population has increased by four inches. it is, indeed, quite possible to see why, although theoretically a random application of birth-control cannot affect the germinal possibilities of a community, in practise it may improve the somatic conditions under which the germinal elements develop. there will probably be a longer interval between the births of the children, which has been demonstrated by ewart and others to be an important factor not only in preserving the health of the mother but in increasing the health and size of the child. the diminution in the number of the children renders it possible to bestow a greater amount of care on each child. moreover, the better economic position of the father, due to the smaller number of individuals he has to support, makes it possible for the family to live under improved conditions as regards nourishment, hygiene, and comfort. the observance of birth-control is thus a far more effective lever for raising the state of the social environment and improving the conditions of breeding, than is direct action on the part of the community in its collective capacity to attain the same end. for however energetic such collective action may be in striving to improve general social conditions by municipalising or state-supporting public utilities, it can never adequately counter-balance the excessive burden and wasteful expenditure of force placed on a family by undue child-production. it can only palliate them. when, however, we have found reason to believe that, even if practised without regard to eugenic considerations, birth-control may yet act beneficially to promote good breeding, we begin to realise how great a power it may possess when consciously and deliberately directed towards that end. in eugenics, as already pointed out, there are two objects that may be aimed at: one called positive eugenics, that seeks to promote the increase of the best stocks amongst us; the other, called negative eugenics, which seeks to promote the decrease of the worst stocks. our knowledge is still too imperfect to enable us to pursue either of these objects with complete certainty. this is especially so as regards positive eugenics, and since it seems highly undesirable to attempt to breed human beings, as we do animals, for points, when we are in the presence of what seem to us our finest human stocks, physically, morally, and intellectually, it is our wisest course just to leave them alone as much as we can. the best stocks will probably be also those best able to help themselves and in so doing to help others. but that is obviously not so as regards the worst stocks. it is, therefore, fortunate that the aim here seems a little clearer. there are still many abnormal conditions of which we cannot say positively that they are injurious to the race and that we should therefore seek to breed them out. but there are other conditions so obviously of evil import alike to the subjects themselves and to their descendants that we cannot have any reasonable doubt about them. there is, for instance, epilepsy, which is known to be transformed by heredity into various abnormalities dangerous alike to their possessors and to society. there are also the pronounced degrees of feeble-mindedness, which are definitely heritable and not only condemn those who reveal them to a permanent inaptitude for full life, but constitute a subtle poison working through the social atmosphere in all directions and lowering the level of civilisation in the community. nowhere has this been so thoroughly studied and so clearly proved as in the united states. it is only necessary to mention dr. c.b. davenport of the department of experimental evolution at cold spring harbor (new york) who has carried on so much research in regard to the heredity of epilepsy and other inheritable abnormal conditions, and dr. goddard of vineland (new jersey) whose work has illustrated so fully the hereditary relationships of feeble-mindedness. the united states, moreover, has seen the development of the system of social field-work which has rendered possible a more complete knowledge of family heredity than has ever before been possible on a large scale. it is along such lines as these that our knowledge of the eugenic conditions of life will grow adequate and precise enough to form an effective guide to social conduct. nature, and a due attention to laws of heredity in life, will then rank in equal honour to our eyes with nurture or that attention to the environmental conditions of life which we already regard as so important. a regard to nurture has led us to spend the greatest care on the preservation not only of the fit but the unfit, while meantime it has wisely suggested to us the desirability of segregating or even of sterilising the unfit. but the study of nature leads us further and, as galton said, "eugenics rests on bringing no more individuals into the world than can be properly cared for, and these only of the best stocks." that is to say that the only instrument by which eugenics can be made practically effective in the modern world is birth-control. it is not scientific research alone, nor even the wide popular diffusion of knowledge, that will suffice to bring eugenics and birth-control, singly or in their due combination, into the course of our daily lives. they need to be embodied in our instinctive impulses. galton considered that eugenics must become a factor of religion and be regarded as a sacred and virile creed, while ellen key holds that the religions of the past must be superseded by a new religion which will be the awakening of the whole of humanity to a consciousness of the "holiness of generation." for my own part, i scarcely consider that either eugenics or birth-control can be regarded as properly a part of religion. being of virtue and not of grace they belong more naturally to the sphere of morals. but here they certainly need to go far deeper than the mere intelligence of the mind can take them. they cannot become guides to conduct until their injunctions have been printed on the fleshy tablets of our hearts. the demands of the race must speak from within us, in the voice of conscience which we disobey at our peril. when that happens with regard to ascertained laws of racial well-being we may know that we are truly following, even though not in the letter, those great spirits, like galton with his intellectual vision and ellen key with her inspired enthusiasm, who have pointed out new roads for the ennoblement of the race. ii it may be well, before we go further, to look a little more closely into the suspicion and dislike which eugenics still arouses in many worthy old-fashioned people. to some extent that attitude is excused, not only by the mistakes which in a new and complex science must inevitably be made even by painstaking students, but also by the rash and extravagant proposals of irresponsible and eccentric persons claiming without warrant to speak in the name of eugenics. two thousand years ago the wild excesses of some early christians furnished an excuse for the ancient world to view christianity with contempt, although the extreme absence of such excesses has furnished still better ground for the modern world to maintain the same view. to-day such a work as _le haras humain_ ("the human stud-farm") of dr. binet-sanglé, putting forward proposals which, whether beneficial or not, will certainly find no one to carry them out, similarly furnishes an excuse to those who would reject eugenics altogether. utopian schemes have their value; we should be able to find inspiration in the most modern of them, just as we still do in plato's immortal _republic_. but in this, as in other matters, we must exercise a little intelligence. we must not confuse the brilliant excursion of some solitary thinker with the well-grounded proposals of those who are concerned with the sober possibilities of actual life in our own time. people who are incapable of exercising a little shrewd commonsense in the affairs of life, and are in the habit of emptying out the baby with the bath, had better avoid touching the delicate problems connected with practical eugenics. there is one prejudice already mentioned, due to lack of clear thinking, which deserves more special consideration because it is widespread among the socialistic democracy of several countries as well as among social reformers, and is directed alike against eugenics and birth-control. this prejudice is based on the ground that bad economic conditions and an unwholesome environment are the source of all social evils, and that a better distribution of wealth, or a vast scheme of social welfare, is the one thing necessary, when that is achieved all other things being added unto us, without any further trouble on our part. it is certainly impossible to over-rate the importance of the economic factor in society, or of a good environment. and it is true that eugenics alone, like birth-control alone, can effect little if the economic basis of society is unsound. but it is equally certain that the economic factor can never in itself suffice for fine living or even as a cure-all of social and racial diseases. its value is not that it can effect these things but that it furnishes the favourable conditions for effecting them. he would be foolish indeed who went to the rich to find the example of good breeding and, as is well known, it is not with the rich that the future of the race lies. the fact is that under any economic system the responsible personal direction of the individual and the family remain equally necessary, and no progress is possible so long as the individual casts all responsibility away from himself on to the social group he forms part of. the social group, after all, is merely himself and the likes of himself. he is merely shifting the burden from his individual self to his collective self, and in so doing he loses more than he gains. thus there is always a sound core in that individualism which has been preached so long and practised so energetically, especially in english-speaking lands, however great the abuse involved in its excesses. it is still in the name of individualism that the most brilliant antagonists of eugenics and of birth-control are wont to direct their attacks. the counsel of self-control and foresight in procreation, the restriction necessary to purify and raise the standard of the race, seem to the narrow and short-sighted advocates of a great principle an unwarrantable violation of the sacred rights of their individual liberty. they have not yet grasped the elementary fact that the rights of the individual are the rights of all individuals, and that individualism itself calls for a limitation of the freedom of the individual. that is why even the most uncompromising individualist must recognise an element of altruism, call it whatever name you will, collectivism, socialism, communism, or merely the vague and long-suffering term, democracy. one cannot assume individualism for oneself unless one assumes it for the many. that is a great truth which goes to the heart of the whole complex problem of eugenics and birth-control. as perrycoste has well argued,[ ] biology is altogether against the narrow individualism which seeks to oppose collective individualism. for if, in accordance with the most careful modern investigations, we recognise that heredity is supreme, that the qualities we have inherited from our ancestors count for more in our lives than anything we have acquired by our own personal efforts, then we have to admit that the capable man's wealth is more the community's property than his own, and, similarly, the incapable man's poverty is more the community's concern than his own. so that neither the capable nor the incapable are entitled to an unqualified power of freedom, and neither, likewise, are justly liable to be burdened by an unqualified responsibility. it is the duty of the community to draw on the powers of the fit and equally its duty to care for the unfit. in this way, perrycoste, whose attitude is that of the rationalist, is led by science to a conclusion which is that of the christian. we are all members each of the other, and still more are we members of those who went before us. the generations preceding us have not died to themselves but live in us, and we, whom they produced, live in each other and in those who will come after us. the problems of eugenics and of birth-control affect us all. in the face of these problems it is the voice of man that speaks: "inasmuch as ye did it not unto the least of these my brethren, ye did it not unto me." however firmly we base ourselves on the principles of individualism we are inevitably brought to the fundamental facts of eugenics which, if we fail to recognise, our individualism becomes of no effect. [ ] f.h. perrycoste, "politics and science," _science progress_, jan., . but it is the same with socialism, or by whatever name we chose to call the collectivist activities of the community in social reform. socialism also brings us up against the hard rock of eugenic fact which, if we neglect it, will dash our most beautiful social construction to fragments. it is the more necessary to point this out since it is on the socialist and democratic side, much more frequently than on the individualist side, that we find an indifferent or positively hostile attitude towards eugenic considerations. put social conditions on a sound basis, the people on this side often say, let all receive an adequate economic return for their work and be recognised as having a claim for an adequate share in the products of society, and there is no need to worry about the race or about the need for birth-control, all will go well of itself. there is not the slightest ground for any such comfortable belief. this has been well shown by dr. eden paul, himself a socialist and even in sympathy with the extreme left.[ ] after setting forth the present conditions, with our excessive elimination of higher types, and undue multiplication of lower types, the racial degeneration caused by the faulty and anti-selective working of the marriage system in modern capitalist society, so that in our existing civilisation unconscious natural selection has largely ceased to work towards the improvement of the human breed, he proceeds to consider the possible remedies. the frequent impatience of the socialist, and social reformers generally, with eugenic proposals has a certain degree of justification in the fact that many evils thoughtlessly attributed to inferiority of stock are really due to bad environment. but when the environment has been so far improved that all defects due to its badness are removed, we shall be face to face, without possibility of doubt, with bad inheritance as the sole remaining factor in the production of inefficient and anti-social members of the community. a socialist community must recognise the right to work and to maintenance of all its members, eden paul points out, but, he adds, a community which allowed this right to all defectives without imposing any restrictions in their perpetuation of themselves would deserve all the evils that would fall upon it. it is quite clear how intolerable the burden of these evils would be. a state that provided an adequate subsistence for all alike, the inefficient as well as the efficient, would encourage a racial degeneration, from excessive multiplication of the unfit, far more dangerous even than that of to-day.[ ] ability to earn the minimum wage, eden paul argues in agreement with h.g. wells, must be the condition of the right to become a parent. "unless the socialist is a eugenist as well, the socialist state will speedily perish from racial degradation." [ ] in an essay on "eugenics, birth control, and socialism" in _population and birth-control: a symposium_, edited by eden and cedar paul. [ ] this is here and there beginning to be recognised. thus, not long ago, the hereford war pensions committee resolved not to issue a maternal grant for children born during a prolonged period of treatment allowance. such a measure of course fails to meet the situation, for it is obvious that, when born, the children must be cared for. but it shows a glimmering recognition of the facts, and the people capable of such a recognition will, in time, come to see that the right way of meeting the situation is, not to neglect the children, but to prevent their conception. mothers' clinics for instruction in such prevention are now being established in england, through the advocacy of mrs. margaret sanger and the actual initiative of dr. marie stopes. thus it is essential that the eugenist, dealing with the hereditary factor of life, and the social reformer or socialist, dealing with the environmental factor, should supplement each other's work. neither can attain his end without the other's help, for the eugenist alone cannot overcome the environmental factor, even perhaps increases it if he is an individualist in the narrow sense, and the socialist alone cannot overcome the bad hereditary factor, and will even increase it if he is no more than a socialist. the more socialist our state becomes the more essential becomes at the same time the adoption of eugenic practices as a working part of the state. "socialism and eugenics must go hand in hand." perrycoste from his own point of view has independently reached the same conclusions. he is not, indeed, concerned with any "socialist" community of the future but with the dangerous results which must inevitably follow the already established methods of social reform in our modern civilised states unless they are speedily checked by effective action based on eugenic knowledge. "if," he observes, "the community is to shoulder half or three-quarters of the burden of sustaining those degenerates who, through no fault of their own, are congenitally incompetent to maintain themselves in decent comfort, and is to render the life-pilgrimage of these unfortunates tolerable instead of a dreary nightmare, if it is to assume paternal charge of all the tens or hundreds of thousands of children whose parents cannot or will not provide adequately for them and is to guarantee to all such children as much education as they are capable of receiving, and a really fair start in life: then in sheer self-preservation the community must insist on, and rigidly enforce, its absolute claim to secure that no degeneracy or inheritable congenital defects shall persist beyond the present generation of degenerates, and that the community of fifty or seventy years hence shall have no incubus of mentally, or morally, or even physically, degenerate members--none but a few occasional sporadic morbid 'sports' from the normal, which it, in turn, may effectively prevent from handing on their like." unless the problem is squarely faced, perrycoste concludes, national deterioration must increase and a permanently successful collectivist society is inherently impossible. we are not now concerned with the details of any policy of eugenics and of birth-control, which i couple together because although a random birth-control by no means involves much, if any, eugenic progress, it is not easy under modern conditions to conceive any practical or effective policy of eugenics except through the instrumentation of birth-control. we here take it for granted that in this field the slow progress of scientific knowledge must be our guide. premature legislation, rash and uninstructed action, will not lead to progress but are more likely to delay it. yet even with imperfect knowledge, it is already of the first importance to evoke interest in the great issue here at stake and to do all that we can to arouse the individual conscience of every man and woman to his or her personal responsibility in this matter. that is here all taken for granted. it seems necessary to consider the political aspect of eugenics because that aspect is frequently invoked, and a man's attitude towards this question is frequently determined beforehand by what he considers that individualism or socialism demands. we see that when the question is driven home our political attitude makes no difference. it is only a shallow individualism, it is only a still more shallow socialism, which imagines that under modern social conditions the fundamental racial questions can be left to answer themselves. iii many years before the great war, in all the most civilised countries of the world, there were those who raised the cry of "race-suicide!" in america this cry was more especially popularised by the powerful voice of theodore roosevelt, but in european countries there were similar voices raised in tones of virtuous indignation to denounce the same crime. since the war other voices have been raised in even more high-pitched and feverish tones, but now they are less weighty and responsible voices, since to those who realise that at present there is not food enough to keep the population of the world from starvation it seems hardly compatible with sanity to advocate an increased rate of human production. now, though it is easy to do so, we must not belittle this cry of "race-suicide!" it is not usually accompanied by definite argument, but it assumes that birth-control is the method of such suicide, and that the first and most immediately dangerous result is that one's own nation, whichever that may be, is placed in a position of alarming military inferiority to other nations, as a step towards the final extinction. it is useless to deny that it really is a serious matter if there is danger of the speedy disappearance of the human race from the earth by its own voluntary and deliberate action, and that within a measurable period of time--for if it were an immeasurable period there would be no occasion for any acute anxiety--the last man will perish from the world. this is what "race-suicide" means, and we must face the fact squarely. it can scarcely be said, however, that the meaning of "race-suicide" has actually been squarely faced by those who have most vehemently raised that cry. translated into more definite and precise terms this cry means, and is intended to mean: "we want more births." that is what it definitely means, and sometimes in the minds of those who make this demand it seems also to imply nothing more. yet it implies a great number of other things. it implies certain strain and probable ill-health on the mothers, it implies distress and disorder in the family, it implies, even if the additional child survives, a more acute industrial struggle, and it further involves in this case, by the stimulus it gives to over-population, the perpetual menace of militarism and war. what, however, even at the outset, more births most distinctly and most unquestionably imply is more deaths. it is nowadays so well known that a high birth-rate is accompanied by a high death-rate--the exceptions are too few to need attention--that it is unnecessary to adduce further evidence. it is only the intoxicated enthusiasts of the "race-suicide" cry who are able to overlook a fact of which they can hardly be ignorant. the model which they hold up for the public's inspiration has on the obverse "more births!" but on the reverse it bears "more deaths!" it would be helpful to the public, and might even be wholesome for our enthusiasts' own enlightenment, if they would occasionally turn the medal round and slightly vary the monotony of their propaganda by changing its form and crying out for "more deaths!" "it is a hard thing," said johnny dunn, "for a man that has a house full of children to be left to the mercy of almighty god." if, however, we wish to consider the real significance of the facts, without regard for the wild cries of ignorant cranks, it is scarcely necessary to point out here that neither the birth-rate taken by itself, nor the death-rate taken by itself, will suffice to give us any measure even of the growth of the population, to say nothing of the progress of civilisation or the happiness of humanity. it is obvious that we must consider both gains and losses, and put one against the other, if we wish to ascertain the net result. we may roughly get a notion of what that result is by deducting the death-rate from the birth-rate and calling the remainder the survival-rate. if we are really concerned with the question of the alleged suicide of the race, and do not wish to be befooled, we must pay little attention to the birth-rate, for that by itself means nothing: we must concentrate on the survival-rate. then we may soon convince ourselves, not only that the human race is not committing suicide, but that not even a single one of the so-called civilised nations of which it is mainly composed is committing suicide. quite the contrary! every one of them, even france, where this peculiar "suicide" is supposed to be most actively at work, is yearly increasing in numbers. it is interesting to note, moreover, that the french have been increasing faster, that is to say the survival-rate has been higher in recent years just before the war, when the birth-rate was at its lowest, than they were twenty years earlier, with a higher birth-rate. and if we take a wider sweep and consider the growth of the french population towards the end of the eighteenth century, we find the birth-rate estimated at the very high figure of . but the death-rate was nearly as high, the average duration of life was only half what it is now. so that the survival-rate in france at that time, with widely different rates of birth and death, was not much unlike it is now. the recent french birth-rate of and less, which automatically causes the "race-suicide" marionette to dance with rage, is producing not far from the same result in growth of the population--we are not here concerned with the enormous difference in well being and happiness--as the extremely high rate of which sends our marionettes leaping to the sky with joy. in war-time england, in , the birth-rate sank to . , yet the death-rate was at and the increase of the population continued. the more the human race commits this kind of suicide, one is tempted to exclaim, the faster it grows! it is, however, in the new world--as in canada, australia, and new zealand--that we find the most impressive evidence of the real criteria of the growth in population set up for judgment on the racial suicide cranks. canadian statistics bring out many points instructive even in their variation. here we see not only unusual curves of rise and fall, but also pronounced differences, due to the special peculiarities of the french population, most clearly in the province of quebec but also in some parts of the province of ontario. in quebec the birth-rate some years ago was , and the death-rate , both rates high, and the survival-rate high at ; recently the birth-rate has risen to and the death-rate fallen to , with the result that the survival-rate of is the highest in the world, though it must be noted that the high birth-rate is not likely to last long, since in quebec, as elsewhere in the world, increasing urbanisation causes a decreasing birth-rate. in mainly english-speaking ontario the birth-rate is much lower, about , but the death-rate is also lower, about , so that the fairly considerable survival-rate of is obtained. but we note the highly significant fact that some thirty years or more ago the birth-rate was much lower, about , and yet the survival-rate was almost , nearly as high as to-day! the death-rate was then at , and nothing could be more instructive as to the real relationship that holds in this matter. there has been a great rise in the birth-rate and the only result, as someone has remarked, is a great increase in the population of the grave-yards. equally instructive is it to compare various cities in this same province, living under the same laws, and fairly similar social conditions. in the report of the registrar-general of ontario for i find that highest in birth-rate of cities in the province stands ottawa with a very considerable french population. but first also stands the same city for infant mortality, which is three times greater than in some other cities in the province with a low birth-rate. sault ste. marie, again with an enormous birth-rate, stands third for infant mortality. canada shows us that, even if we regard the crude desire for a large growth of population as reasonable--and that is a considerable assumption--a high birth-rate is an uncertain prop to rest on. canada is an instructive example because we have some ground for believing that the difference between the english-speaking and french-speaking populations--the greater care of the former in procreation and the more recklessly destructive methods of the latter in attaining the same ends--are due to their different attitudes towards the use of methods of birth-control. what the result of a general use of such methods is we know from the example already mentioned of holland, where they are taught, officially recognised, and in general use, not only among the rich but among the poor. the result is that the birth-rate has been falling slowly and steadily for forty years. but the death-rate has also been falling and at a greater rate. so that the more the birth-rate has fallen the higher has been the rate of increase among the population. it is perhaps in australia and new zealand that we find the most satisfactory proofs of the benefits of a falling birth-rate in relation to "race-suicide." the evidence may well appeal to us the more since it is precisely here that the race-suicide fanatic finds freest scope for his wrath. he looks gleefully at china with its prolific women, at russia with its magnificent birth-rate before the war of nearly , at roumania with its birth-rate of , at chile and jamaica with nearly . no nonsense about birth-control there! no shirking by women of the sacred duties of perpetual maternity! no immoral notions about claims to happiness and desires for culture. and then he turns from, those great centres of prosperity and civilisation to australia, to new zealand, and his voice is choked and tears fill his eyes as he sees the goal of "race-suicide" nearly in sight and the spectre of the last man rising before him. for there is no doubt about it, australia and new zealand contain a population which is gradually reaching the highest point yet known of democratic organisation and general social well-being, and the birth-rate has been falling with terrific speed. sixty-years ago in the australian commonwealth it was nearly , only forty years ago in new zealand it was . now it is only about in both lands. yet the survival-rate, the actual growth of the population, is not so very much less with this low birth-rate than it was with the high birth-rate. for the death-rate has also fallen in both lands to about (in new zealand to ) which is lower than any other country in the world. the result is that australia and new zealand, where (so it is claimed) preventives of conception are hawked from door to door, instead of being awful examples of "race-suicide," actually present the highest rate of race-increase in the world (only excepting canada, where it is less firmly and less healthily based), nearly twice that of great britain and able at the present rate to double itself every years. so much for "race-suicide." the outcry about "race-suicide" is so far away from the real facts of life that it is not easy to take it seriously, however solemn one's natural temperament may be. we are concerned with people who arrogantly claim to direct the moral affairs of the world, even in the most intimately private matters, and who are yet ignorant of the most elementary facts of the world, unable to think, not even able to count! we can only greet them with a smile. but this question has, nevertheless, a genuinely serious aspect, and i should be sorry even to touch on the question of birth-control in relation to "race-suicide" without making that serious aspect clear. "race-suicide," we know, has no existence. not only is the race as a whole increasing in number, especially its white branches, but even among the separate national groups there is not even one civilised people anywhere in the world that is decreasing in number. on the contrary they are all, even france, increasing at a more or less rapid rate. in england and wales, for example, where the birth-rate has steadily fallen during the last forty years from to (i disregard the abnormal rates of war-time) the population is still increasing, and even if the present falls in birth-rate and death-rate continue, it will for years still go on increasing by an excess of over , births a day. when we realise that this is merely what goes on in one corner of the world and must be multiplied enormously to represent the whole, we shall find it impossible even to conceive the prodigious flow of excess babies which is being constantly poured over the earth. if we are capable of realising all the problems which thereby arise we must be forced to ask ourselves: _is this state of things desirable_? "be ye fruitful and multiply." that command was, according to the old story, delivered to a world inhabited by eight people. it has been handed down to a world in which it has long been ridiculously out of place, and has become merely the excuse for criminal recklessness among a race which has chosen to forget that the command was qualified by a solemn admonition: "at the hand of man, even at the hand of every man's brother, will i require the life of man." the high birth-rate has meant a vast slaughter of infants, it has meant, moreover, a perpetual oppression of the workers, disease, starvation, and death among the adult population; it has meant, further, a blood-thirsty economic competition, militarism, warfare. it has meant that all civilisation has from time to time become a thin crust over a volcano of revolution, and the human race has gone on lightly dancing there, striving to forget that ancient warning from a soul of things even deeper than the voice of jehovah: "at the hand of man will i require the life of man." men have recklessly followed the will o' the wisp which represented mere multiplication of their inefficient selves as the ideal of progress, quantity before quality, the notion that in an orgy of universal procreation could consist the highest good of humanity. the great war, that is scarcely yet merged into an only less war-like peace, has brought at least the small compensation that it has led men to look in the face this insane ideal of human progress. we see to-day what has come of it, and the further evils yet to come of it are being embodied beneath our eyes. so that at last the voice of jehovah has here and there been faintly heard, even where nowadays we had grown least accustomed to hear it, in the churches. it is dr. inge, the dean of london's cathedral of st. paul's, a distinguished churchman and at the same time a foremost champion of eugenics, who lately expressed the hope that the world, especially the european world, would one day realise the advantages of a stationary population.[ ] such a recognition, such an aspiration, indicates that a new hope is dawning on the world's horizon, and a higher ideal growing within the human soul. the mad competition of the industrial world during the past century, with the sordid gloom and wretchedness of it for all who were able to see beneath the surface, has shown for ever what comes of the effort to produce a growing population by high birth-rates in peace-time. the great war of a later day has shown, let us hope in an equally decisive manner, what comes to a world where men have been for long generations produced so copiously and so cheaply that it is natural to regard them as only fit to sweep off the earth with machine guns. and the whole world of to-day--with its starving millions struggling in vain to feed themselves, with most of its natural beauty swept away by the ravages of man, and many of its most exquisite animals finally exterminated--is likely to become merely the monument to an ideal that failed. it was time, however late in the day, for a return to common-sense. it was time to realise that the ideal of mere propagation could lead us nowhere but to destruction. on that level we cannot compete even with the lowest of organised things, not even with the bacteria, which in number and in rapidity of multiplication are inconceivable to us. "all hope abandon, ye that enter here" is written over the portal of this path of "progress." [ ] this has long been recognised by men of science. even anyone with the slightest knowledge of biology, professor bateson remarked in a british association presidential address in , is aware that a population need not be declining because it is not increasing; "in normal stable conditions population is stationary." major leonard darwin, the thoughtful and cautious president of the eugenics education society, has lately stated his considered belief ("population and civilisation," _economic journal_, june, ) that increase in numbers means, ultimately, relative reduction of wealth per head, with consequent lowering of the standard of civilisation; that it also, under existing conditions, involves the production of a smaller proportion of men of ability; and, further, a depreciation of our traditions; he concludes that, whatever element in civilisation we regard--wealth, or stock, or traditions--"any increase in the population _such as that now taking place_ will be accompanied by a lowering in the standard of our civilisation." there are definite reasons why real progress in the supreme tasks of civilisation can best be made by a more or less stationary population, whether the population is large or small, and it need scarcely be added that, so far as the history of mankind is yet legible, the great advances in civilisation have been made by small, even very small populations. where the population is rapidly growing, even if it is growing under the favourable conditions that hardly ever accompany such growth, all its energy is absorbed in adjusting its perpetually shifting equilibrium. it cannot succeed in securing the right conditions of growth, because its growth is never ceasing to demand new conditions. the structure of its civilisation never rises above the foundations because these foundations have perpetually to be laid afresh, and there is never time to get further. it is a process, moreover, accompanied by unending friction and disorder, by strains and stresses of all kinds, which are fatal to any full, harmonious, and democratic civilisation. the "population question," with the endlessly mischievous readjustment it demands, must be eliminated before the great house of life can be built up on a strong solid human foundation, to lift its soaring pinnacles towards the skies. that is what many bitter experiences are beginning to teach us. in the future we are likely to be much less concerned about "race-suicide," though we can never be too concerned about race-murder. when we think, however, of the desirability of a more or less stationary population, in order to insure real social progress, as distinct from that vain struggle of meaningless movement to and fro which the history of the past reveals, we have to be clear in our minds that it may be far from desirable that the present overgrown population of the world should be stationary. that might indeed be better than further increase in numbers, it would arrest the growth of our present evils; it might open the way to methods by which they would be diminished or eliminated. but the process would be infinitely difficult, and almost infinitely slow, as we may easily realise when we consider that, with a population even smaller than at present, the human race has not only ravished the world's beauty almost out of existence, but so ravaged its own vital spirit that, as was found with some consternation during the great war, a large proportion of the male population of every country is unfit for military service. so often we hear it assumed, or even asserted, that greatness means quantity, so that to look forward to the replacement of the present teeming insignificant human myriads by a rarer and more truly greater race is to be a pessimist! oh, these "optimists"! to revel in a world which more and more closely resembles all that the poets ever imagined of hell, is to be an "optimist"! one wonders how it is that in no brief moment of lucidity it occurs to these people that the lower we descend in the scale of life the greater the quantity in a species and the poorer the quality, so that to reach what such people should really regard as the world's period of supreme greatness in life we must go back to the days, before animal life appeared, when the earth was merely a teeming mass of bacteria.[ ] [ ] see, for instance, h.f. osborn, _the origin and evolution of life_, , chapter iii. to-day, we are often told, the majority of human beings belong either to the undesired class or the undesirable class. to realise that this is so, we are bidden to read the newspapers or to walk along the streets of the cities--whichever they may be--wherein dwell the highest products of our civilisation. in the better class quarters it is indeed the undesirable class that seems to predominate, and in the poor quarters, the undesired. yet, viewing our species as a whole, the two classes may be seen to walk hand in hand along the same road, and in proportion as our nobler instincts germinate and develop, we must doubtless admit that it ought to be our active aim to make that road for both of them--socially though not individually--the road to destruction. to stem the devastating tide of human procreativeness, however, easy as it may seem in theory, is by no means so easy as some think, especially as those think who believe that the human race stands on the brink of suicide. for there is this about it that we must never forget: the majority of those born to-day die before their time, so that by diminishing the production of the unfit, as well as by the progressive improvement of the environment that automatically accompanies such diminution, we may make an imposing difference in the appearance of the birth-rate, whilst yet the population goes on increasing rapidly, probably even more rapidly than before. it needs a most radical and thorough attack on the birth-rate before we can make any real impression on the rate of increase of the population, to say nothing of its real reduction. there is still an arduous road before us. true it is that we have two opposing schools of thought which both say that we need not, or that we cannot, make any difference by our efforts to regulate the earth's human population. according to one view the development of population, together with the necessity for war which is inextricably mixed up with a developing population, cannot be effected without, as one champion of the doctrine is pleased to put it, "shattering both the structure of euclidean space and the psychological laws upon which the existence of self-consciousness and human society are conditional."[ ] in simpler words, populations tend to become too large for their territories, so that war ensues, and birth-control can do nothing because "it is doubtful whether a group in the plenitude of vigour and self-consciousness can deliberately stop its own growth." the other school proclaims human impotence on exactly opposite grounds. there is not the slightest reason, it declares, to believe that birth-control has had any but a completely negligible influence on population. this is a natural process and fertility is automatically adjusted to the death-rate. whenever a population reaches a certain stage of civilisation and nervous development its procreativeness, quite apart from any effort of the will, tends to diminish. the seeming effect of birth-control is illusory. it is nature, not human effort, which is at work.[ ] [ ] b.a.g. fuller, "the mechanical basis of war," _hibbert journal_, . [ ] sir shirley murphy some years ago (_lancet_, aug. ) argued that the fall of the birth-rate, as also that of the death-rate, has been largely effected by natural causes, independent of man's action. mr. g. udney yule (_the fall in the birth-rate_, ) also believes that birth-control counts for little, the chief factor being natural fluctuations, probably of economic nature. recently mr. c.e. pell, in his book, _the law of births and deaths_ ( ), has made a more elaborate and systematic attempt to show that the rise and fall of the birth-rate has hitherto been independent of human effort. these two opposing councils of despair, each proclaiming, though in a contrary sense, the vanity of human wishes in the matter of procreation, might well, some may think, be left to neutralise each other and evaporate in air. but it seems worth while to point out that, with proper limitations and qualifications, there is an element of truth in each of them, while, without such limitations and qualifications, both are alike obviously absurd and wrong-headed. undoubtedly, as the one school holds, in certain stages of civilisation, even at a fairly advanced stage, nations tend to break out over their frontiers with resulting war; but the period when they reach "the plenitude of vigour and self-consciousness" is exactly the period when the birth-rate begins to decline, and the population, deliberately or instinctively, controls its own increase. that has, for instance, been the history of france since the great expansion of population, roughly associated with the napoleonic epopee,--which doubtless covered a web of causes, sanitary, political, industrial, favourable to a real numerical increase of the nation--had died down slowly to the level we witness to-day.[ ] similarly, with regard to the opposing school, we must undoubtedly accept a natural fall in the birth-rate with a rising civilisation; that has always been visible in highly civilised individual couples, and it is an easily ascertainable zoological fact that throughout the evolution of life procreativeness has decreased with the increased development of species. we may agree that a natural factor comes into the recent fall in the human birth-rate. but to argue that because a natural decline in birth-rate is the essential factor in the slowing down of procreative activity with all higher evolution, therefore deliberate birth-control counts for nothing, since exactly the same result follows when voluntary prevention is adopted and when it is not, seems highly absurd. we must at least admit that voluntary birth-control is an important contributory cause, in some sense indeed, of supreme importance, because it is within man's own power and because man is thus enabled to guide and mould processes of nature which might otherwise work disastrously. how disastrously is shown by the history of europe, and in a notable degree france, during the four or five centuries preceding the end of the eighteenth century when various new influences began to operate. during all these centuries there was undoubtedly a very high birth-rate, yet infant mortality, war, famine, insanitation, contagious diseases of many and virulent kinds, tended, as far as we can see, to keep the population almost or quite stationary,[ ] and so ruinous a method of maintaining a stationary population necessarily used up most of the energy which might otherwise have been available for social progress, although the stationary population, even thus maintained, still placed france at the head of european civilisation. the more firmly we believe that the diminution of the population is a natural process, the more strenuously, surely, we ought to guide it, so that it shall work without friction, and, so far as possible, tend to eliminate the undesirable stocks of man and preserve the desirable. clearly, the theory itself calls for much effort, since it is obvious that along natural lines the decline, if it is the result of high evolution, will affect the fit more easily than the unfit. [ ] the reader may point to the renewal of militarism and imperialism in france since the great war. that, however, has been an artificial product (in so far as it exists among the people themselves) directly fostered from outside by the policy of england and the united states, just as the same spirit in germany before the war, in the face of a falling birth-rate, was artificially fostered from above by a military and imperialistic caste. [ ] see especially mathorez, _histoire de la formation de la population française_, vol. i, , _les Étrangers en france_. the fecundity of french families, even among the aristocracy, till towards the end of the eighteenth century, was fabulous; in the third quarter of the seventeenth century the average number of children was five in paris. but the mortality was extremely high; under the age of sixteen, mathorez estimates, it was per cent., and infant mortality was terrible in all classes, small-pox being specially fatal. then there were the various diseases termed plagues, with famine sometimes added, while war, emigration, and religious celibacy all counteracted the excessive fecundity, so that from the thirteenth century to the third quarter of the eighteenth the population seems to have been stationary, about twenty-two millions. then the size of the family fell in paris to . and in france generally to . , while also there were fewer marriages. therewith there was an increase of prosperity. thus there seems, on a wide survey of the matter, no reason whatever to quarrel with that conviction, which is gradually over-spreading all classes of human society in all parts of the world, and ever more widely leading to practical action, that the welfare of the individual, the family, the community, and the race is bound up with the purposive and deliberate practice of birth-control, whether we advocate that policy on the ground that we are thereby furthering nature, or on the opposite, and no doubt equally excellent, ground that we are thereby correcting nature. along this road, as along any other road, we shall not reach utopia; and since the utopia of every person who possesses one is unique that perhaps need not be regretted. we shall not even, within any measurable period of time, reach a sanely free and human life fit to satisfy quite moderate aspirations. the wise birth-controller will not (like the deliciously absurd suffragette of old-time) imagine that birth-control for all means a new heaven and a new earth, but will, rather, appreciate the delightful irony of the biblical legend which represented a world with only four people in it, yet one of them a murderer. still, it may be pointed out, that was a state of things much better than we can show now. the world would count itself happier if, during the great war, only twenty-five per cent of the population of belligerent lands had been murderers, virtually or in fact. there is something to be gained, and that something is well worth while. still, whether we like it or not, the task of speeding up the decrease of the human population becomes increasingly urgent.[ ] to many of our undesirables it may seem, mere sentiment to trouble about the ravishing of the world's beauty or the ravaging of the world's humanity. but certain hard facts, even to-day, have to be faced. the process of mechanical invention continues every day on an ever increasing scale of magnitude. now that process, however necessary, however beneficial, involves some of the chief evils of our present phase of what we call civilisation, partly because it has deteriorated the quality of all human products and partly because it has enslaved mankind, and in so doing deteriorated also his quality.[ ] now we cannot abolish machinery, because machinery lies in the very essence of life and we ourselves are machines. but, as the largest part of history shows, there is no need whatever for man to become the slave of machinery, or even for machinery to injure the quality of his own work; rightly used it may improve it. the greatest task before civilisation at present is to make machines what they ought to be, the slaves, instead of the masters of men; and if civilisation fails at the task, then without doubt it and its makers will go down to a common destruction. it is a task inextricably bound up with the task of moulding the human race for which birth-control is the elected instrument. indeed they are but two aspects of the same task. we have to accept the rugged fact that every step to render more nearly perfect the mechanical side of life correspondingly abolishes the need for men. thus it is calculated to-day that whenever, in accordance with a growing tendency, coal is superseded by oil in industry two men are enabled to do the work of twelve. that is merely typical of what is taking place generally in our modern system of civilisation. everywhere a small number of men are being enabled to replace a large number of men. not to avoid looking ahead, we may say that of every twelve millions of our population, ten millions will be unwanted. let them do something else! we cheerfully exclaim. but what? no doubt there are always art and science, infinite in their possibilities for joy and enlightenment, infinite also, as we know, in their possibilities of mischief and shallowness and boredom. let it only be true science and great art, and one man is better than ten millions. to say that is only to echo unconsciously the ancient saying of heraclitus, "one is ten thousand if he be the best." [ ] professor e.m. east, a distinguished biologist and lately president of the american society of naturalists (_nature_, sept., ), has estimated that, for all the fall in the birth-rate, the present rate of increase in the population of the world, chiefly of whites, who are increasing most rapidly, will, in the lives of our grandchildren, lead to a struggle for existence more terrible than imagination can conceive. [ ] this has been set forth with admirable lucidity and wealth of illustration by dr. austin freeman in his _social decay and regeneration_ ( ), already mentioned. the vistas that are opened up when we realise the direction in which the human race is travelling may seem to be endless; and so in a sense they are. man has replaced the gods he once dreamed of; he has found that he is himself a god, who, however realistic he seeks to make his philosophy, himself created the world as he sees it and now has even acquired the power of creating himself, or, rather, of re-creating himself. for he recognises that, at present, he is rather a poor sort of god, so much an inferior god that he is hardly, if at all, to be distinguished from the lords of hell. the divine creative task of man extends into the future far beyond the present, and we cannot too often meditate on the words of the wisest and noblest forerunner of that future: "the whole world still lies before us like a quarry before the master-builder, who is only then worthy of the name when out of this casual mass of natural material he has embodied with all his best economy, adaptability to the end, and firmness, the image which has arisen in his mind. everything outside us is only the means for this constructing process, yes, i would even dare to say, also everything inside us; deep within lies the creative force which is able to form what it will, and gives us no rest until, without us or within us, in one or the other way, we have finally given it representation." the future, with all its possibilities, is still a future infinitely far away, however well it may be to fix our eyes on the constellation towards which our solar system may seem to be moving across the sky. meanwhile, every well-directed step, while it brings us but ever so little nearer to the far goal around which our dreams may play, is at once a beautiful process and an invigorating effort, and thereby becomes in itself a desirable end. it is the little things of life which give us most satisfaction and the smallest things in our path that may seem most worth while. index abstinence, sexual, . acton, . adrenal glands, . anstie, . art of love, . asceticism and sexuality, . augustine, st., , . australian birth-rate, . auto-erotism, . bantu, marriage among the, . bateson, . bell, w. blair, . binet-sanglé, . birth-control, , _et seq._ birth-rate, in france, , . in australia, . in canada, . in england, , . book of the knight of the tour-landry, , . brontës, the, . browning, mrs., . brown-séquard, . burbank, luther, . canada, birth-rate in, . chastity, . chaucer, . children, to parents, relation of, _et seq._ in modern life, _et seq._ sex in, . china, parents in, . christianity, , , , , , . continence, the value of, , . courtship in nature, . crooks, mrs. will, . davenport, c.b., . darwin, major leonard, . davies, . drayton, . dundas, c, . east, e.m., . education, . in old england, . in old france, , . electra-complex, . eliot, george, . ellis, mrs. havelock, , , . english social history, , , , , . erotic claims of women, . erotic personality, . eugenics, _et seq._ ewart, . family, sex in life of, _et seq._, . feeblemindedness, . feudal education, . francis of assisi, st., . freeman, austin, , . french social history, , , , , . freud, , , . frink, h.w., . fuller, b.a.g., . galton, sir francis, , , , , . girls, emancipated, . goddard, . goethe, . gratian, . greeks, eugenics amongst ancient, . groos, . hadfield, mrs., . heraclitus, . hinton, james, , , , , , . home, revolution in the, . hormones, , . husbands, _et seq._ individualism and eugenics, . infanticide, ancient, . infantile arrest, . inge, dr., . internal secretions, , . jonson, ben, . juries, women on, . key, ellen, , , , . lasco, john à, . löwenfeld, . luchaire, . luther, . machinery and civilisation, . magic and sex, . marriage, _et seq._, _et seq._, _et seq._, _et seq._ martineau, harriet, . mathorez, . matsumato, . mcdougall, w., . meirowsky, . milton, . moïssidès, . monogamy, . montaigne, , , , , . morality, and nature, . in marriage, . more, sir thomas, , . murphy, sir shirley, . näcke, . nature and morality, . new caledonia, treatment of parents in, . northcote, h., . oedipus-complex, . osborn, h.f., . palladius, . parasitism in the home, . parents, merciful destruction of, . relation of children to, _et seq._, . training of, . veneration of, . parmelee, . paston letters, , . paul, eden & cedar, , . paul, st., . peacock, . pell, c.e., . perrycoste, f.h., , . perseigne, adam de, . pituitary gland, . play-function of sex, _et seq._ pleasure, the function of, . polonius, . powell, dr., . protestantism and marriage, . psycho-analysis, , . purity, _et seq._ race-suicide, _et seq._ ring in marriage, . rite, the marriage, . robert of arbrissel, . rohleder, . rolland, romain, . sacrament, sex as a, . salle, antoine de la, . sanger, margaret, . schreiner, olive, , . and asceticism, . sex, and magic, . as a sacrament, . evolution in, . nature of impulse of, . play-function of, _et seq._ spiritual element in, . sublimation of, , . shaftesbury, . socialism and eugenics, . _stonor letters_, . stopes, marie, . suarez, . sublimation, , . theognis, . wells, h.g., . westermarck, . wives, _et seq._ love rights of, _et seq._ wollstonecraft, mary, . women, erotic claims of, . erotic ideas of average, , in crusades, . in marriage, , . in old france, _et seq._ in subjection to men, . love rights of, _et seq._ on juries, . yule, g. udney, . printed in great britain by billing and sons, ltd., guildford and esher. * * * * * transcriber's notes: in the index, wollstonecroft was changed to wollstonecraft also in the index, á was changed to à in: lasco, john à some punctuation normalized everything else was left as found in the original * * * * * [advertisements] particulars of other works on sex, sex psychology, heredity & evolution will be found on the three following pages [illustration] mrs. havelock ellis: the new horizon in love and life. with a preface by edward carpenter. s. herbert, m.d., m.r.c.s.: an introduction to the physiology and psychology of sex. the first principles of heredity. (second edition.) the first principles of evolution. (second edition.) fundamentals in sexual ethics. mrs. s. herbert: sex lore: a primer, on courtship, marriage and parenthood. dr. & mrs. herbert: sexual life of primitive people. authorized translation of hans fehlinger's volume. published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. the new horizon in love and life by mrs. havelock ellis with a preface by edward carpenter and an introduction by marguerite tracy _demy vo_ price / net (_by post, s._) questions of marriage and divorce, of sex variation, of love in the past and in the future all come up for subtle consideration. the items of our common knowledge are regrouped. here we see clearly revealed the personal conception of life that lay behind mrs. havelock ellis's brilliant novels. we are arrested and spell-bound by the same understanding, the same directness of touch, the same beauty. contents: preface, by edward carpenter. introduction, by marguerite tracy. note, by havelock ellis. part i.--love and marriage. the love of to-morrow. a noviciate for marriage. semi-detached marriage. marriage and divorce. eugenics and the mystical outlook. eugenics and spiritual parenthood. blossoming time. love as a fine art. part ii.--the new civilization. democracy in the kitchen. the masses and the classes. the maternal in domestic and political life. political militancy: its cause and cure. war. the new civilization. the philosophy of happiness. bibliography. index. opinions: "bold in pursuit of honesty."--_observer._ "the charm of style, the frankness and courage, the delicacy and idealism which marked her life's work are here in full measure."--_challenge._ "a wholly sincere, clear-headed woman, mrs. ellis was often misunderstood because she was sane."--_w.l. george._ "stimulates thought, arouses controversy, may shock the timidly conventional."--_sunday times._ published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. the herbert books by s. herbert, m.d., m.r.c.s., l.r.c.p. * * * * * the first principles of heredity diagrams and illustrations. large crown vo. cloth. s. d. net (by post, s. d.). _revised edition._ "dr. herbert's hook can be recommended as a trustworthy 'first aid' in the study of a difficult subject. his style is lucid and concise, and he has provided a glossary which will be of service to many."--_athenæum._ "we have only praise for the result."--_eugenics review._ "dr. herbert will be found a safe guide. he writes as clearly and as simply as may be upon a subject in which it is practically impossible to avoid technical language.... the book may be cordially recommended as admirably adapted for the class for whom it is intended." _westminster gazette._ * * * * * the first principles of evolution illustrations. large crown vo. cloth, s. d. net (by post, s. d.). _revised edition._ "the author attempts to examine and test the principles of the theory of evolution as applied to the known phenomena of the cosmos. to do this at all satisfactorily in little more than pages, and at the same time bring under review all that is most valuable in recent scientific research, is no easy task. we may say at once that, in our opinion dr. herbert has succeeded wonderfully well."--_athenæum._ "contains not a single dry page--far and away the most compact and complete account of evolution in all its aspects."--_globe._ "we congratulate dr. herbert on his masterly arrangement.... it will serve as an admirable introduction to a difficult subject."--_dundee advertiser._ * * * * * an introduction to the physiology and psychology of sex illustrations. large crown vo. cloth. s. d. net (by post, s. d.). this fills a gap in the literature of sex. it gathers together for the general reader a vast array of facts about sex, mating and reproduction which have never before been so clearly and directly stated. "for a simple statement, expressed in language as far as possible free from technicalities, of the principal phenomena of generation, dr. herbert's book is the best that we have seen."--_cambridge review._ "it is therefore a real satisfaction to find a sex manual which may be placed with confidence in the hands of any educated person.... he has certainly produced the best little manual which we yet possess in this field."--havelock ellis in _eugenics review._ * * * * * by mrs. herbert. sex lore. a primer on courtship, marriage and parenthood. illustrations. crown vo. cloth, s. d. net (by post, s. d.). "the author in simple, non-technical language expounds the main facts of sex, especially with regard to biology and physiology, and she treats this delicate subject in a tactful manner. a special feature of the book is the large number of illustrations. the volume is intended for the 'younger generation,' but parents and teachers would be well advised to peruse the book, which should prove invaluable for educative purposes. '--_medical times._ "... may be left with confidence in the hands of any educated person who is attaining to manhood or womanhood."--_aberdeen daily journal._ * * * * * published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. the herbert books sexual life of primitive people by hans fehlinger translated by dr. s. herbert and mrs. herbert large crown vo. cloth, s. net (by post, s. d.). "a concise survey of the beliefs and customs of primitive peoples in such matters as modesty, conjugal fidelity, courtship, marriage, birth and feticide."--_the times._ "if anyone doubts that the world is progressing, we commend to his attention this book of mr. fehlinger."--_dublin evening mail._ "in this translation dr. and mrs. herbert present clearly and fairly all the more important facts which recent research has brought to light."--_times of india._ * * * * * fundamentals in sexual ethics an enquiry into modern tendencies by s. herbert, m.d., m.r.c.s., l.r.c.p. large crown vo. cloth. price s. d. net (by post, s. d.). contents: part i.--the basic characteristics of sex. part ii.--sex relationships: sex morality. sex vice and disease. sex aberration and abnormality. auto eroticism. sexual inversion. part iii.--marital relationship: factors; moral, biotic, eugenic, economic, social. part iv.--sex and education: sex education. co-education. opinions: "he treats with knowledge all the urgent sexual questions and sexual phenomena, normal and abnormal."--_the times._ "a very valuable book dealing with a vastly important subject."--_justice._ "what we want is the best that is known and thought in the world on a matter that vitally concerns us. we need also intelligent, sympathetic common-sense guidance amid the opposing extremes of a narrow materialism and a narrow spiritualism. dr. herbert supplies both these needs ... and we could not well ask more of him."--havelock ellis in _daily herald_. "we may congratulate him on the success of his undertaking."--_manchester guardian._ "wide knowledge, conscientious thoroughness, sincere conviction, sympathetic understanding and, even more, spiritual aspirations.... a splendid feminist." edith bethune baker in _woman's leader_. * * * * * published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. almost a man. by mary wood-allen, m. d. author of teaching truth, child-confidence rewarded, the man wonderful in the house beautiful, etc. "what is man that thou art mindful of him?" david. "every true man is a cause, a country and an age." emerson. "god on thee abundantly his gifts hath also poured; inward and outward both his image fair." milton. published by wood-allen publishing co. ann arbor, mich. copyrighted by mary wood-allen, m. d. . contents. page prelude iii almost a man a gateway and a gift the white cross prelude. two lads had crossed the sunny meadow-land of childhood and stood by the gate, at the entrance to the rougher paths of youth leading up to the grander heights of maturity. they glanced backward, but not with regret, for their eyes shone with eagerness to climb the upward way. as they waited, an angel came bearing a gift for each, which he gave them, saying: "i have brought you a wondrous gift, not for yourselves but for others. listen." and they bent their heads and listened. and one said: "i hear most entrancing music. it thrills my very being. it is for me, for me." but the angel said: "listen again. shut your ears to those bewildering tones and you will hear a deeper, holier strain." but the youth said: "no, i hear only that melody which speaks to my own heart. i can hear nothing else." the other youth too took the gift and, bending his head at the command of the angel, said: "i hear that sweet entrancing strain which speaks to myself, and which promises me pleasure; but deeper than all that i hear a tone soft, sweet and low, that sounds like the voices of happy children, and of a mother singing to her babe." the angel smiled. "it is for them," he said, "that you must keep your gift. and in the years to come that music will be to you the sweetest in the world." so the youths started on their devious ways through the hilly land of youth. there were bird-songs and flowers; there were bright paths, and dark ones; there were sunny by-paths, which ended in dreamy forests; there were pitfalls in unexpected places; there was often sorrow where they looked for joy, and failure where they expected success. and the one listened oft to the entrancing music of his angelic gift, and was led to think only of himself, and his eye lost its fire, his feet often stumbled, and the days and nights had no pleasure for him. as he reached the heights of maturity he was met by a bright creature who laughed with great joy when he offered her his love and said exultantly: "i have kept myself pure for you," and he, knowing his own dark secrets, could make no reply but hung his head and was silent. and, thus silent, he heard no more the bewildering music of his youth, but instead there came to his ears the sound of a broken-hearted woman's sobs, and the weeping of children mourning the birthright that had been lost for them in their father's wayward youth. and the man said sighingly: "o that i had my innocence again my untouched honor. but i wish in vain." but the other lad turned a deaf ear to the brain-bewildering music and listened with his soul for the happy melodies of the future. and his eye grew brighter and his strength increased and his paths were straight and clean, and as he neared the heights of maturity he was met by one whose robe was shining in its brightness and who whispered: "i have kept myself pure for you." and gladly he answered: "and i for you;" and so their lives became one, and the melody of happy children's voices drew nearer and nearer, and listening to the sweet voice of the mother singing to her babe, and looking into the bright and rosy faces that with every glance and motion thanked him for their dower of health and honor, he blessed the great creator from whom he had received the wondrous gift of potential fatherhood, and gave thanks that he had wisely listened to the angel's voice bidding him keep his gift for those whose life, in the years to come, was to be his holiest possession. almost a man. by mary wood-allen, m. d. "let me take your book of quotations, please." "certainly, if i can find it. o, i remember. i let susie glenn take it. no doubt i can find it in her desk." as she spoke miss bell walked to the desk and, finding the desired book, took possession of it. an open note dropped from it and fell upon the floor. picking it up miss bell read: "my darling little sweetheart," and glancing at the close saw the signature, "carl." sending of notes in school was forbidden, therefore miss bell had no compunction of conscience in taking possession of this one, and, on the impulse of the moment, read it aloud to miss lane, her fellow-teacher. it was not only sentimental in tone but there were mysterious phrases which seemed to hold a deep and sinful significance. the women looked at each other with sorrowful faces. "what shall i do about it?" asked miss bell. "what a depth of wickedness it reveals!" exclaimed miss lane. "who would have imagined that such a nice appearing boy as carl woodford could be so base? and susie glenn too, such a shy, modest little creature as she seems." "do you suppose it is really as bad as it seems to us? those expressions which appear to indicate such--such almost criminal intimacy perhaps they do not understand fully." "don't you believe it," said miss lane. "i tell you these children are wiser in sin than we older people can imagine. that boy needs to be whipped within an inch of his life, the little reprobate! i'd give him such a lecture as would make his eyes open wide for once. i'd make him understand that he'd better not let me catch him in such mischief again. and i'd tell mrs. glenn about it so that she could punish susie." "i really am afraid that the result would not be what we wish. suppose we go and talk it over with dr. barrett. maybe she can tell us what to do." dr. barrett received the ladies with cordiality and professed herself willing to aid them in the solution of their problem. she did not appear as shocked as they did, and even smiled a little as miss lane, in indignant tones, read aloud the offending note. "don't you think that little rascal should be nearly annihilated?" she asked, turning to the doctor. "i think he should be instructed," replied the latter. "will you send him to me, miss bell?" "most gladly, but i don't believe he will come." "yes he will, if you don't frighten him beforehand. don't say a word to him about the affair, but send him with a note to me and tell him to wait for an answer." the next evening carl appeared at the doctor's residence with the note from miss bell. "i am to wait for an answer," he said. dr. barrett only nodded as she wrote on steadily for a moment, seeming too much engrossed in her work to notice him. then she read the note, thought a moment, excused herself and left the room. returning immediately she said, "it will be half an hour before the answer is ready. can you wait?" "o certainly." "then sit down here and look over the youth's companion while i finish my letter." for some moments there was silence and then the doctor, laying down her pen, turned to the boy and said, pleasantly; "you are carl woodford, are you not?" "yes, ma'am." "it has been so long since i saw you that you have almost grown out of my knowledge. you are getting to be almost a man. you must be fifteen years old." "not quite. i will be next june." "almost a man," said dr. barrett softly as she looked thoughtfully into the fire. after a moment's silence she asked, "carl, what is it to be a man?" the boy drew himself up with a self-conscious air as he replied. "why, to have your growth, and get into business for yourself." "well, that is not quite it," said the doctor smiling, "for i have my growth and am in business for myself, and yet i am not a man." "maybe it means having a mustache," said carl, with a slight flush. "that has something to do with it certainly, but mrs. flynn has a mustache, and she is not a man." "well, i don't know how to explain it then," said carl. "you have studied grammar, will you parse the word man?" "man is a common noun, masculine gender, third----" "what does masculine gender mean?" "it means male." "then to be a man means to be a male. how does the grammar define gender?" "the distinction of nouns with regard to sex." "have you studied physiology?" "yes'm." "was it the physiology of man or woman?" "why, it didn't say anything but physiology." "you studied, then, only those organs in which men and women are alike, as in their muscular and nervous systems, and in the organs of digestion; in fact you learned only of the organs which are for the preservation of the individual. you learned nothing of them in regard to sex, which is termed special physiology." a wave of color was creeping over carl's face, seeing which the doctor said: "as you have never studied this special physiology supposing you try to forget that any one has ever told you anything about it, and let us for a few minutes talk of it as of god's laws. we believe god to be pure, and we cannot believe that he would make a law that was founded on impurity. it is true we are able to think of his laws in an impure way, but that is our fault, not his. let us now try to think his pure thoughts after him. if there are two sexes created by the almighty he must have a pure purpose in creating them. we seldom think how much of beauty and melody and loveliness is due to sex. "it is because of sex that we are gathered in families and enjoy all the delights of home. it is because of sex that we have ties of kindred, brothers, sisters, father, mother, uncles, aunts and cousins. think of the pleasant home gatherings at christmas or thanksgiving, or upon family birthdays, with all the relatives, old and young, meeting in love and sympathy; think of the sweet prattle of children in the home; think of the tender ministrations of mother or sister in times of sorrow or illness or death, and remember that these are possible because of sex. men may build themselves fine club houses where they congregate to smoke or drink or eat together, but these are not homes. women may go away by themselves into a convent and give up the world, but in so doing they give up the home; for in a real true home there must be parents and children, and this comes through sex. we may go even farther and say with mr. grant allen that everything high and ennobling in our nature springs directly from the fact of sex. he claims that to it 'we owe our love of color, of graceful forms, of melodious sound, of rhythmical motion, the evolution of music, of poetry, of romance, of painting, of sculpture, of decorative art, of dramatic entertainment. from it,' he says, 'springs the love of beauty, around it all beautiful arts circle as their centre. its subtle aroma pervades all literature, and to it we owe the heart and all that is best within it.' "we read of knights of old fighting for 'fayre ladye,' of heroes who died to save wives and children; we cannot take up a book of poetry without realizing how love of men and women has been the inspiration of the poet in all ages. and this is not all that we owe to sex. in all organic life we find the same force at work. the song of the nightingale is a call to his mate, the chirp of cricket, the song of the thrush, the note of the grasshopper, every charming voice in wild nature are notes of love, and were it not for these, field and forest would be silent. among the animals we can trace the beauty of form and of covering to the same source. and even in the inanimate world of plants and trees we find sex as the source of life and beauty. the bright tinted flowers are the homes of the father and mother and babies of the plant and without the male and female principle in plants there would be no bud or blossom and no fruit. remember when you see the beauty of the apple orchard in the spring and the glowing fruit in the autumn that these are the expression of sex-life in the tree." "my!" exclaimed carl, "i never thought of all that before." "i presume not, and many who are older than you have no thoughts of sex but those which are low and vile. but when you consider how the same principle reaches through all nature, and upon it depends so much that is beautiful and charming you cannot believe that is in itself vile and unholy, can you? if we are to think god's thoughts after him we must come to look upon sex as something to be thought of and spoken of only with reverence, never to be jested about or debased in any way. you begin to see that more is involved in the coming into manhood than you had supposed. but we have not gone over the whole matter yet. you have read the first chapter of genesis how that god made man in his own image, and out of the dust of the earth. we do not suppose that he made him out of dirt and water, as a child makes mud-pies, but we may accept this as a statement of the scientific fact that in man are found the same elements as in the earth, such as iron, soda, lime, etc. what we want to think of now is the statement that god created man by his direct power. then we are told he made woman also. these are the first living human beings of whom we have record. who is the third?" "cain." "and who made cain?" "god," answered carl glibly, as if that must be the only orthodox answer. "in the same way that he made adam and eve?" carl blushed and was silent. "you were not embarrassed when i spoke of the creation of adam and eve, you have no reason to be embarrassed when i speak of the creation of cain. all was in accordance with the divine will, and must therefore be right. we cannot say positively that god thought this or that, but we have a right to judge from his acts what his purposes were. we have a right to suppose that he created the earth intending to people it with human beings. of course every possible plan for doing this was open to him. he might have created each individual as he did adam, but what would have been the result? we should have stood, each one alone, in selfish solitariness, like a lot of ten-pins, able to knock each other down but not to help each other up. each one would have been thinking only of himself and his own selfish interests. this plan could not commend itself to a compassionate creator, and we can imagine that he would say to himself: 'that would never do. i must put these, my children, in such relation to each other that they will have love for each other; that they will be bound by ties so strong that nothing can break them; they must be created in such a way that they will also understand their relation to me and love me as their life-giver. to do this i will share with them my greatest power, that of creation. i will let them help me people the world. by this creative power they shall come to understand how i, their heavenly father, love them, and yearn over them, and by their dependence as children upon their parents they shall learn to depend upon and trust me.' from the plan god adopted for peopling the earth we may suppose this to have been his process of thought. so you see that sex comes as a wondrous gift from god, a gift endowed with a marvelous power, and therefore to be held most sacred. when i spoke of you as being almost a man it was with the thought that now is being conferred upon you this gift of sex." carl looked up with some surprise. "why, i have always been a boy." "true. and a boy is a being who will become a man. but he is not endowed with the functions of sex until he is about fourteen years old. then sex begins to make itself felt in his whole being. he grows taller rapidly; he gains in breadth; he begins to see the long-looked-for mustache; he notices the growth of the special organs of sex; he begins to feel more manly; to enjoy the society of girls as never before; and desires to treat them with more attention. this is a time when, if he is wrongly taught, he may fall into great wrong-doing and injure himself, and not that alone, but those who are to come after him. i have not yet told you of the great responsibilities that come with this gift of sex." dr. barrett rose and, bringing a book from the shelves, opened it and showed carl an illustration, saying; "did you ever see such a picture as this?" [illustration] "what are they?" asked he. "they look like pollywogs." "as much like them as anything. but they are not pollywogs. they have a bigger sounding name than that. they are called _spermatozoa_, or each one is a _spermatozoon_. they are so tiny that they are not visible except with the aid of a microscope, and yet they are alive and very active. they live and move in a fluid called _semen_, and they are the living principle contributed by the male to the formation of a new creature. each one contains in itself all the particular traits, characteristics or talents which the father would confer on the child of which this spermatozoon would form a part. you are like your father in some things, i suppose." "yes, i am like papa in size and in my love for mathematics. he says i have his quick temper, too." "that leads me to speak of another fact. you see that you were a part of your father during his whole life, and you were affected by all that affected him. you were changed or modified by his habits. if he tried to curb his quick temper, it has made it easier for you to control yourself; but if he allowed it full sway, it has made it harder for you. if he were truthful and honest, it has made it easy for you to be the same; but if he were wild and dissipated, it would make it easier for you to yield to the same temptations." "was that what he meant when he said he was not surprised that will grey was so bad a boy, for his father was a very wild young man?" "yes, that was exactly what he meant." "if that is so why don't fathers tell their boys about it so that they can behave better when they are young?" "that is just what i think they ought to do, but unfortunately people have thought they must not talk of these things to young folks for fear it will make them bad instead of good." "well, i guess that would depend upon the way they told it. now they don't tell it right, but leave the boys to be told in wrong ways, and that really does lead them to be bad. no one ever talked to me as you have to-night, and i am sure it makes me want to be better." [illustration] "that ought to be the effect, and i believe it would be if boys were only 'told right,' as you say. but i have told you only half the story. here is another picture. these are called _ova_. one is an _ovum_, and these are the principle the mother gives to the future child. they are greatly magnified. it would take of them lying side by side to make a row an inch long, so we say they are / of an inch in diameter, but tiny as they are, each ovum contains all the traits or talents that the mother gives to the child of which this particular ovum may form a part. your mother is english, your father american. their childhood and youth were spent thousands of miles apart, and yet both were working by the habits of their lives to create you in your peculiar traits and talents. are you like your parents in any of their capabilities?" "yes, i am like mother in her love for music; you know she is a fine musician." "yes, and in the cultivation of her own musical ability she made it easier for you to learn music; just as your father, in his study as an engineer, has given you a love for mathematics." "but my grandfather and great-grandfather were engineers, and i am going to be one, too." "it is true that you inherit from your grandparents, also, but it must be through your parents, and they may have changed the direction of the inheritance. this important fact you should know and remember. you can change yourself by education so that the inheritance of your children may be quite changed. for example, if you know that you lack perseverance, you can, by constantly making a mighty effort to overcome this defect, compel yourself to persevere, and this would tend to give your children perseverance. so you see we need not despair because we have inherited faults from our ancestors, but we should determine all the more that we will not pass these defects on to later generations." "i guess that is what dr. brice meant when he said that mother's good care of her health had overcome in us children to a great extent the tendency to consumption which is in her family. nearly all my cousins on her side die with it, but when she was a little girl her father made her live out of doors all the time and she grew strong, and we none of us seem to have any tendency to consumption." "you see then the value of caring for yourself in youth, not only for your own sake but for that of your children. your mother did not know that she would ever have children to be benefitted by her out-door life. but one day she met a young man who pleased her, and as they grew to know each other better they came to love each other so that they wished to leave home and friends and make their own home and live their united lives separate and apart from all the rest of the world. so they were married, as we say. marriage is the union of one man and one woman under the sanction of the law. this is the closest and most sacred human relation. in this relation the _spermatozoon_ of the man unites with the germ or _ovum_ of the woman and a new life is begun. when your parents knew that such a little life had begun in their home they felt a great and holy joy, and desired that every good might surround it in its development. you were the first to come into your father's home. after your life had begun you were still so small as not to be visible to the naked eye, and would have been lost had you come into the world. but a home had been prepared for you in your mother's body, where day by day you grew and grew. the food which she ate nourished you as well as herself. the air which she breathed was life to you as well as to her. "you have seen the father-bird bringing food to the mother-bird as she sits upon her eggs and waits for the birdlings to come forth, and you have thought it a pretty sight to watch his tender care of her. even so your father watched over your mother and you. he provided everything as pleasant as possible, he removed every care from her path so that she might be happy and so make you happy. his love for her took on a new and strange tenderness it had not known before. and she, holding you warm and close in the embrace of her body, thought of you and loved you. she wondered how you would look; she dreamed of you; she fancied she could feel the touch of your fluttering fingers; she made your little wardrobe and with each stitch wove in some tender thought of the baby whom she had never seen. then one day she cried out with great anguish of body but joy of heart, 'o my baby is coming.' then through long hours she suffered, going down almost to the gates of death that you might have life. but she never murmured; in spite of all her pain and anguish of body her very soul was full of rejoicing that soon she would hold you in her arms. when all those hours of peril and anxiety were past and you were laid in your mother's arms, your father came and bent over you both with a measureless love, and looking into your little face they knew what the scripture meant when it said, 'and they twain shall be one flesh,' for were not you a living fulfillment of that saying? you were a part of each united in a living being who belonged to them both. then for the first time could they realize, even dimly, the yearning, tender love of their heavenly father who had granted to them to know by experience his feelings towards his children." great tears had gathered in the boy's eyes as she talked, and now with choking voice he said, "i don't think i can ever be disobedient again, dr. barrett. i did not understand it all as i do now. you know we only hear these things talked of among the boys, and i had come to feel that there was some reason why i ought to be ashamed of my father and mother; but it all looks so different to me now. i wish you could talk to the other boys as you have to me." "it may not be possible for me to do so, although i should be glad to do it, but you can help them to think more truly on these subjects. you can especially help them to treat women and girls with more respect than they often do, because you can see how an injury to any girl is an injury to the whole world." "i don't quite see that," said carl. "you can see that if any one had injured your mother in her girlhood it would have been an injury to all her children, can you not?" "o yes." "and that injury might be passed on to future generations. there lived a poor girl, about a hundred years ago, who was uncared for by good people and wronged by evil ones, and to-day she is known as a 'mother of criminals,' and no one can tell where the mischief will end. you would feel very indignant if you knew that some one had done your mother an injury in her girlhood, and you would feel the same way should any one wrong your sisters." "i knocked bill jones down last week because he said something to my sister kate." "you felt a righteous anger and manifested it. well, in all probability you will some day marry. if so, there is in the world to-day the girl who will be your wife. how do you want her to be treated by the boys who are her school-companions? do you like to think that they are rough with her, or playing at lovering with her? is it a pleasant thought that she is allowing them to caress her or write her silly sentimental notes?" carl's face was scarlet, but he answered bravely; "no, it isn't." the doctor continued. "some day, in all likelihood, a little girl-child will climb upon your knee and call you papa. no creature can ever be to you what that little daughter will be. if any one should injure her----." "i'd kill him," broke in carl hotly. "if you feel that way, dear boy, you should remember that every girl is some one's daughter, perhaps some one's sister, will probably be some one's wife and some one's mother, so that all girls should be sacred to you, treated with chivalrous courtesy and protected even as you feel you would protect those who may belong especially to you." "but don't you believe in boys and girls being friends at all?" "most assuredly i do. nothing is more charming than the frank comradeship of girls and boys, and that is why i am so sorry to see them spoil it with sentimentality. they ought to be good friends, helping each other, having jolly good times together, but never in ways that will bring a blush to the cheeks of either, now, or in the years to come." a rap sounded on the door and the maid entered with a note which she gave to the doctor, who handed it to carl, saying, "here is the note for miss bell. i have kept you waiting a long time, but i hope it has not been unprofitable." "indeed it has not. i am ever so much obliged to you, i am sure." "and if you ever wish to talk to me again you will feel free to come, will you not?" "yes, ma'am, i surely will," answered the lad with a frank clasp of the hand. "wait a moment," said the doctor, "i have just thought of a little book that i am sure you will be interested in reading. it is called 'a gateway and a gift,' and it deals with some of the questions we have been talking about this evening. you can lend it to some of your boy friends if you wish." "thank you," said carl, taking the book which the doctor handed him, and then with another "good night," he walked away in the darkness. the note which he gave to miss bell the next morning read merely: "don't say anything to carl. just wait." if miss bell had seen a note slipped by carl into susie glenn's hand an hour later she might have thought it an evidence that the doctor's plan had failed. but had she read the note her opinion would have been that it had succeeded. it read: "dear susie:--it was real mean of me to write that note yesterday. will you forgive me? say, susie, i think all this nonsense about lovers and sweethearts is silly rot, don't you? let's be just friends. respectfully yours, carl." susie's answer was short but to the point. it read: "all right. let's. susie." several months later miss bell and miss lane called again on dr. barrett. "have you come with another problem?" asked the doctor. "no, we have come to report progress and to learn, if possible, just how it has come about. there has been a wonderful change in the school. the girls and boys are no less friendly, but it is without that silly sentimentality which was so annoying. they are now just real good comrades, and seem to help each other in being orderly, polite, and studious. how did you do it?" "perhaps all credit is not due to me, but i will say that i gave carl the instruction i thought he needed and he has passed the good word along. several of the boys have met with me once a month to study concerning themselves, and i can see that they have grown to have a reverence for themselves and a deep regard for all womanhood. carl was in last evening, and said, 'dr. barrett, i am so glad miss bell sent me with that note to you, for your talk to me that night has changed my whole life, i know. i feel so much cleaner all through, and have so much more respect for myself. and i think so differently of girls and women, and especially of my mother, and i realize as i never did before how important a thing it is to be almost a man.'" a gateway and a gift. three gateways span the path of earthly existence: one at the entrance which we call the gate of birth; one at the close which we call the gate of death, and one at the entrance to the wondrous land of the teens, which we call the gate of manhood or of womanhood. at each of these gates a wonderful gift is presented to each individual. at the gate of birth it is the gift of earthly life, at death it is the gift of continued life, and at the gate which opens into the land of the teens it is the gift of creative life. you see that each gift is of life. the path of earthly life, beginning at the gateway of birth, passes through the sunny meadow-land of childhood, and also through a strange, mysterious land to which we have referred as the land of the teens, before reaching the heights of maturity. this land of the teens is peculiar in that the inhabitants are neither children nor adults, and yet, with the inexperience of children, they have many of the desires and emotions of grown-up people. this constitutes an element of great danger, while another source of danger is the fact that adequate guidance is not always given in this transition period, or, if proffered, is proudly rejected by those who think that being in their "teens" makes them wise above that which is written. when we visit foreign lands we are grateful for guidance and direction, especially if we are not acquainted with the language; so, if we do not hire a guide we, at least, buy a guide-book. it seems to me, then, that we ought not to rebel against guides through the land of the teens, realizing that one who has traveled through a country can point out beauties and warn against dangers which would not be recognized by the inexperienced traveler. we can visit england, italy, or germany many times, and at each journey can profit by former experiences, but we pass through the land of the teens but once, and the lessons we learn on that journey we can only utilize for the benefit of others. this is why many people on the heights of maturity are anxious to light a beacon for those who are still in their "teens." they would gladly help others to shun the by-paths where they have met disaster, for they have learned the very solemn truth that in youth one is determining what maturity shall be. the seeds sown in the sunny meadow of childhood and in the broader fields of the land of the teens are harvested in the uplands of maturity, and the harvest is always greater than the seed sown. the petulance and pouting of the child hardens into the gruffness, bad-temper, and moroseness of the man; the idleness and shirking of the youth becomes the shiftlessness and unreliability of the adult; the boy's neglect of duty and unwearied search for pleasure may be harvested in dissipation and ruin in mature life. it is, then, a very serious thing to be passing through one's "teens," and the wise youth will welcome any guide who will show him a safe path. may i claim the privilege of acting for a little time in that capacity? the king of this land has made laws for its government and wisdom, has builded paths wherein one may walk in safety. the laws made by the king are not harsh and cruel, but are beneficent, and he denies no real good. he says to the traveler, "you belong to me, and i am desirous of your highest welfare; therefore, obey me and you shall be rewarded; disobey me and you shall be punished." it needs some moral courage to bravely stay in the path of wisdom, for there are many allurements to leave it; more particularly as the inexperience of the traveler does not warn him of the dangers of following pleasures that lead away from wisdom's ways. the guide worthy of trust must not fail to point out these dangers; and the prudent youth will listen to the warning voice and walk in wisdom's ways, for "all her ways are pleasantness, and all her paths are peace." we talk much about our personal liberty, and assert that we have a right to live in maine or california, but we have not that much liberty in regard to dwelling in the land of the teens. if we are ever to reach the heights of maturity we must spend ten years in the teens. we cannot sell our domain, nor give it away, and we cannot even hire some one to cultivate it for us. this being the case, it becomes important for us to study the soil and how best to develop its advantages. we find that the land has three divisions: the domain of the body, the field of intellect, and the garden of the heart,--the same divisions that exist in the sunny land of childhood, and that we have been cultivating ever since we were born. these are the kingdoms which came to us with the gift of life. we recognize that the gifts which come to us at birth and death are of life for ourselves alone, and we have had no thought during our childish years except to develop our powers for our own advantage. it may be we have not felt perfectly satisfied with our lot in life, but we have felt that we were not responsible for this. we did not choose to be born in america instead of asia, though we do not rebel at this fact. we did not select to be white instead of black. it is not our fault if we are born of a family in which consumption is an inheritance; and, on the other hand, we can claim no credit to ourselves if we have inherited strong bodies with healthful tendencies. it is our misfortune, and not our fault, if we are not quite perfectly poised by nature; it is our good fortune, not our foresight, if we have genius instead of mediocrity. the gifts that come to us through inheritance are ours without blame or credit to us but they bring with them the responsibility of their use. we are responsible for maintaining or increasing our dower of health by obedience to physical laws; responsible for the cultivation of our intellects, for the development of inherited virtues, and the annihilation of inherited vices. if you study your characteristics and talents you find that they repeat those of your ancestry. your eyes, hair, mouth, chin, your stature, figure, complexion, your talents, capabilities, tendencies, your likes and dislikes, your faults as well as your virtues are repetitions of those who preceded you in this living network of existence of which you form a part. if you are not like father or mother you may be like grandfather or great-grandmother. if you do not find yourself repeating the characteristics or personality of any one ancestor, you may find yourself a composite photograph of several. and even if you cannot trace in yourself a likeness to any family representative, you may still be assured that from some of them your traits have come to you. you have only to recall the complexity of your sources of inheritance and then remember how many words can be spelled from the twenty-six letters of the alphabet to see that you can hardly measure the peculiar forces of mind and body that may come to you though that power of transmission which we call heredity. it may occur to you to ask why, if we are not responsible for our inheritances, is it needful to give them any particular thought? there are two reasons why we should consider the good and bad characteristics which may be ours through inheritance. in the first place, heredity is not fatality, and we are not absolutely obliged to follow the paths which our ancestors marked out for us, and in the second place, we can, by understanding our own characters, mark out better paths for our posterity. we are not only receivers of life, but we may be also givers of life, and this is the gift that comes to you at the entrance to the land of the teens. can you imagine a more important period in the life of an individual than that point where is intrusted to him the physical powers which make him the arbiter of the destiny of those who come after him? the gift of possible life for others is even more marvelous than that of actual life for one's self and brings with it greater responsibility. it is accompanied with marked physical changes. you have observed them in yourself, though you perhaps have not understood them. up to this time you have been but a child, and all your physical forces have been occupied in keeping you alive and growing. but you are now to become a man, with powers that will unite you to the race; powers that will give you the ability to form a new link in the living chain that now ends with you. you have noticed the rapid unfolding of your bodily powers; you have become conscious of new and strange emotions; you have, it may be, found yourself becoming irritable and have felt bewildered with the new aspects of life and have wondered what it all means. it may be you have felt as did one boy who said to his mother, to whom he confided all his problems of life: "mamma, i want to kick and cry, and i don't know why." the mother knew. she understood the strange unfolding that was going on in his physical organism, and she kindly explained it to him, telling him that he must have patience with himself, and govern himself by his judgment and not allow himself to be carried away by impulse, assuring him that god would hold him as responsible for purity of character as he would the dear sister of whom they all felt so careful. he should reverence his manhood, even as he expected her to reverence her womanhood. this is necessary, not only for the good of each individual, but also for the eternal interest of future generations. this entrance into the land of the teens is a serious, even a dangerous period, for if you have not had right instruction you may be led, or fall into habits of wrong doing or thinking. if you are rightly taught you will begin to have an added reverence for yourselves in that god is dignifying you with new powers that will bring you more nearly into co-partnership with himself. these powers, the most sacred of all that have come to you, need years for development, and should be guarded by pure thoughts and kept for their holy office of promoting the earthly usefulness and eternal blessedness of those who hereafter will owe both earthly and immortal life to you. i have said that we are not responsible for the dower of virtues or of vices which are ours by inheritance, but we are responsible for the inheritances of our children, and this is a most solemn thought. do you not begin to see that we cannot value ourselves too highly if we have the right idea of what our real worth is? we can scarcely overestimate the results of our own deeds. we may think it does not matter if we do not always tell the exact truth; if at some times we equivocate and at others exaggerate, but when we remember that truth is the foundation of character, and realize that by our little equivocations or exaggerations we may be weakening the foundations of many who are from us to receive their talents and tendencies, we begin to see that the matter is a very serious one. i am sometimes told that young people will not be influenced by a consideration for the welfare of unborn generations whose existence is very problematical in their thought; but my observation is that young folks are much more sensible than we give them credit for being. more than one young man has said to me: "i was never taught that my conduct and thought would impress themselves upon my children, but now that i see that such is the case, i am sure that i will hereafter be more careful of my life than i ever have been." this field of investigation is a broad one, and even if you never have an opportunity to study the subject scientifically you can still be of incalculable benefit to humanity by ever remembering that you are living for an earthly, as well as for a heavenly immortality. the young people who to-day are in the land of the teens are they who are determining the characteristics of the men and women of the twentieth century, creating the standards of thought and action, the methods of business, the level of morals, in fact the whole status of society in the world of a hundred years to come. it is a very wonderful fact that god has so created us that the result of our deeds is not limited to our own lives, but makes its impress upon those who are to come after us. we are not separate units, but are links in a living chain of endless transmission. this fact makes our lives of far greater consequence than if, in their results, they were limited to ourselves. if we are anxious concerning the future of our country, we may take to heart the thought that it will be what we ourselves have made it. the bible expresses the same idea in many ways. "whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap," does not mean merely that his own future will be influenced by his conduct, but that his future in his children will be a record which he himself has made. men often make their wills and bequeath to their children their gold or houses and lands, but sometimes against their wills they bequeath to their children a bodily dwelling of inferior material, and so poor in construction that it very soon falls into decay through disease, or in very early life becomes a tottering ruin. it would seem rather amusing to us if one should sit down and write his will and say: "i bequeath to my daughter mary my yellow, blotched and pimpled complexion, resulting from my own bad habits of life. i bequeath to my son john, the effects of my habits of dissipation in my youth, with a like love for alcoholic liquors and tobacco. i bequeath to my son harry my petulant, irritable disposition, and the rheumatic gout which i have brought upon myself by disobedience to physical law; and to my daughter elizabeth, my trembling nerves and weak moral nature." but this is, in truth, what many parents do, and the children find it a sad, instead of an amusing fact. on the other hand, if one has led a life of uprightness and morality, and has obeyed physical law, his children will inherit his physical vigor, and his moral stamina. it becomes of exceeding great importance that these facts should be known to the young, in order that they may endeavor to overcome their own weaknesses, and strengthen their own good qualities for the sake of future generations. this heredity, the transmission of the qualities of the parent to the child, is found among plants and animals as well as in the human race. the seed of a plant produces another plant of the same kind, and the farmer knows when he sows wheat, that his harvest will be wheat, and he should know just as certainly that if he "sows wild oats" in his youth he may expect "wild oats" in his children. the character of the food we eat, the air we breathe, the occupations we follow, the habits we create, are the forces which shape not only our own destiny, but create the tendencies of our children. with these thoughts in mind, the question of the use of narcotics becomes one of great importance. there are few, if any, tobacco users who are anxious that their boys should early begin the use of the weed. but they do not realize the fact that in their own use of it they may have diminished the vital force of these boys, transmitting a tendency to disease, or perhaps an appetite for the tobacco itself, and not only will the boys feel the effects, but the girls as well. as the thought of men is turned in this direction, proofs are accumulating of the evil results to the children of tobacco-using parents. a prominent physician says: "i have never known an habitual tobacco user whose children did not have deranged nerves, and sometimes weak minds. shattered nervous systems, for generations to come, may be the result of this indulgence. the children of tobacco-using parents frequently die with infantile paralysis. i have known two cases in which the crying of the baby could not be stopped until the tobacco-pipe was placed between its lips." dr. pidduck asserts that in no instance is the sin of the father more strikingly visited upon his children than the sin of tobacco using. "the enervation, the hypochondriasis, the hysteria, the insanity, the dwarfish deformities, the consumption, the suffering lives, and early deaths of the children of inveterate smokers bear ample testimony to the feebleness and unsoundness of the constitution transmitted by this pernicious habit." the effect of alcohol upon the child is equally marked, and from all sides comes the testimony that the degenerations do not stop with the individual, but pass on to succeeding generations. sometimes the influence is seen in the stunting of the growth, both mentally and physically. dr. langden downe reports several cases of this sort where the children had lived to be twenty-two years old and still remained infants, symmetrical in form, just able to stand beside a chair, utter a few monosyllabic sounds, and to be amused with toys. dr. f. r. lees, referring to the injury inflicted upon the liver by alcohol, says: "and recollect, whatever injury you inflict upon this organ, to your posterity the curse descends, and as is the father, so are the children." dr. kerr asserts that the effects of injury to the mind and body may not always show themselves in the drinker himself, yet it is doubtful if his children ever entirely escape the effects in one form or another. these effects may be manifest in insanity, or in a tendency to diseases of the stomach, liver, bowels, lungs, or other organs; or with a like love for alcoholic stimulants. not only may the child be weak in body but also in intellect. it is the statement of a score of observant physicians that the children of intemperate parents are apt to be feeble in body and weak in mind. another very striking thought in this connection is that while the physical effects may not show in the individual himself, nor in his children, they may be manifest in the deterioration of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. a prominent temperance advocate who was laid up with rheumatic gout, which is apt to be the result of alcoholic indulgence, replied to a friend who wondered that he, a drinker of cold water, should suffer with this disease, "yes, my ancestors drank the liquor and i foot the bills." in the parliament of the british house of commons made a report of intemperance in which they stated that the evils of alcoholism "are cumulative in the amount of injury they inflict, as intemperate parents, according to high medical testimony, give a taint to their offspring before birth, and the poisonous stream of spirits is conveyed through the milk of the mother to the infant at the breast; so that the fountain of life, through which nature supplies that pure and healthy nutriment of infancy, is poisoned at its very source, and a diseased and vitiated appetite is thus created, which grows with its growth, and strengthens with its increasing weakness and decay." a tendency to commit suicide seems to be a marked bequest of an inebriate parent to his children, and it is well to state that in the opinion of medical men who are dealing with all forms of inebriety, the evils resulting to the children may be transmitted by parents who have never been noted for drunkenness. continual moderate drinking keeps the body so constantly under the influence of alcohol that a crowd of nervous difficulties and disorders may be transmitted even more surely than from the parent who has occasional sprees with long intervals of sobriety between. it is not only through the drinking father that injury is done to the children, but the mother may have a vitiated inheritance from her father and transmit it to her children. when we recall the fact that one hundred thousand men fall into drunkard's graves every year, we are appalled at the thought of that vast army marching on to death and destruction. as we listen, we can, in fancy, almost hear the tramp, tramp of that "mighty host advancing, satan leading on." in the front rank comes the one hundred thousand men who shall fall into drunkard's graves this year, and behind them the one hundred thousand men who are to fall next year. they come with sound of revelry and song, and close beside them press a crowd of weeping wives and mothers and little children, starved, crippled, and murdered, who are to be fellow victims with the drunkard. not very far back from the front row come one hundred thousand young men in the very prime of young, vigorous life, just beginning to drink their first glass of wine or beer, with no intention of ever standing in that front row, yet having started on the way. back of them, one hundred little school boys who think it manly to ape the follies of their predecessors. back of them, one hundred thousand little toddlers whose feet stagger in their innocent helplessness. back of them, one hundred thousand mothers with babies in their arms. oh, how sweetly those baby eyes look up into the loving eyes that are brooding over them. is it possible those baby brows will ever lie low in the gutter, those sweet lips be stained by oath or glass; those crumpled rose-leaf fingers ever strike the murderous blow incited by alcohol? it must be, if that front rank of one hundred thousand drunkards is to be recruited, for the drunkards of the future are to-day babies in their mother's arms. do you who read these words intend to join this vast army of prospective drunkards, or will you belong to the cold-water army that is marching on accompanied by health, vigor, industry, prosperity, success and long life? we must not be so interested in the inheritance of evil qualities as to forget the transmission of good. we read in exodus, twentieth chapter, that the sins of the fathers are to be visited upon the children unto the third and fourth generations of them that hate the lord, but mercy will be shown to _thousands of generations_ of them that love him and keep his commandments. as we have seen the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children in transmission of diseased bodies, perverted moral natures and weakened wills, and realize that the promise is being fulfilled in the visitation of the sins of the fathers upon the children, let us see if the other promise is being fulfilled also, in the mercy shown to thousands of them that love the lord and keep his commandments. an english specialist in children's diseases has carefully noted the difference between twelve families of drinkers and twelve families of sober parents during a period of twelve years. intemperate. | temperate. | produced children; died in | produced children; died the first week of life. these | in first week, of weakness. deaths due to convulsions, or | had curable diseases. oedema of brain and membranes. | showed inherited nervous defects. were idiots. dwarfs. | this leaves who were in epileptics. had chorea. were | every way normal, sound in body deformed. became drunkards. | and mind. this leaves only who showed | during the whole of life a | normal disposition and development | of body and mind. | if it were not a fact that health, purity, integrity, intellect and virtue were being transmitted to a far greater extent than sin and vice, there would be little good in the world, but the transmission of these good qualities is so extended, so like the air and the sunshine and the water, a common thing, that we almost forget to recognize it. when we turn our thoughts to the investigation of this phase of the subject, we find that vigorous parents have healthful children, that powers of intellect are transmitted, and that honesty and uprightness in the father warrants us in expecting the same in the son. we recognize the transmission of powers of intellect in the fact that where the parents have a peculiar talent, we very generally find the same talent in their children. we are acquainted with musical families, mathematical families, artistic families, and in the study of renowned people of the world we find evidences of this transmission of intellect. we also learn that the effects of education are transmissible, and if the parents are educated along a certain line the children receive education along that line much more readily. this fact becomes a wonderful incentive to us to build up all that is best in our own natures in order that through us the world may receive an impetus towards higher and better things. sometimes when your faults and defects press upon you with tremendous force and you find it so very hard to overcome them, you may be tempted to lay the blame on your ancestry who gave you such a dower, who by their lives handicapped you in your life-struggle. you may feel inclined to say with some writer, to me unknown, who says: heredity. "your strictures are unmerited, our follies are inherited, directly from our gran-pas they all came; our defects have been transmitted, and we should be acquitted of all responsibility and blame. we are not depraved beginners, but hereditary sinners, for our fathers never acted as they should; 'tis the folly of our gran-pas that continually hampers-- what a pity that our gran-pas weren't good! yes, we'd all be reverend senators, if our depraved progenitors had all been prudent, studious and wise; but they were quite terrestial, or we would be celestial, yes, we'd all be proper tenants for the skies. if we're not all blameless sages, and beacons to the ages, and fit for principalities and powers; if we do not guide and man it, and engineer the planet, 'tis the folly of our forefathers--not ours." but the lesson of these lines is not that you should lie back in inaction, making no effort to overcome your defects because they are inheritances. there is for you a wiser lesson in the theme than that. when marshall ney was taunted with the fact that the imperial nobility had no pedigree he proudly replied, "we are ancestors." there is a grand thought for you. if your ancestors did not do the best for you, will you not profit by your knowledge of this fact and do the best for those who shall look back to you as their ancestor? supposing that your parents in their youth had said: "i will take care of my health so that my children may be born with vigorous bodies; i will make good use of my intellect so that my children will inherit an added capacity for acquiring knowledge; i will obey all laws of morality so that my children will by inheritance tend toward virtue;" and supposing that you to-day, with healthful bodies, keen intellects and upward tending moral natures, were reaping the reward of their forethought, would you not bless them for it? you have no right to remain listless and discouraged because of your inheritances, whatever they may be. hear the inspiriting words of ella wheeler wilcox: there is no thing you cannot overcome. say not thy evil instinct is inherited; or that some trait inborn, makes thy whole life forlorn, and calls for punishment that is not merited. back of thy parents and grandparents lies, the great eternal will; that, too, is thine inheritance--strong, beautiful, divine; sure lever of success for one who tries. pry up thy fault with this great lever--will; however deeply bedded in propensity; however firmly set, i tell thee firmer yet is that great power that comes from truth's immensity. there is no noble height thou canst not climb; all triumphs may be thine in time's futurity, if whatsoe'er thy fault, thou dost not faint or halt, but lean upon the staff of god's security. earth has no claim the soul can not contest. know thyself part of the supernal source, and naught can stand before thy spirit's force the soul's divine inheritance is best. the youth of to-day have in their own hands the molding of the future, not only of themselves, but of the nation, by the every day habits of their lives. by their thoughts and aspirations, by the moral tendencies which they are cultivating in themselves, they are determining what shall be the characteristics of the nation in a hundred years to come. shall this be, in a hundred years, a nation of drunkards? the young people of to-day are deciding that question. shall it be a nation of invalids? this, also, the young people are deciding. shall it be a nation filled with greed of gain, with a low standard of morals, with dishonest methods in business, or shall it be a nation wherein vigorous health is the rule, unflinching courage, absolute integrity and pure morality shall everywhere reign? what the young people of to-day are making of themselves physically, mentally and morally, is deciding what shall be the future of the country. the white cross. the cross is considered as an emblem of self-denial, the immolating of selfish wishes upon the altar of universal good. in a nobler sense it means not so much self-denial as the creation of nobler desires, so that the individual wants only those things which he rightfully should have; he is not obliged to deny himself, because he asks nothing but that which is noble and pure. in this sense the cross is not so much the emblem of self-denial as an emblem of self-ennoblement--the exaltation of self. the white cross typifies the purifying of the life from the desire of mere sense pleasures. it means the noble manhood which claims for itself the privilege of chastity and the rewards of purity. the white cross army is composed of men and boys over fourteen years of age who unite to resist vice, to secure safety for the home and for society, to become all that becomes true manhood. in organized co-operation there is strength. it is not only the "long pull" and the "strong pull," but the "pull altogether," that is thoroughly successful. hundreds of men are living the white life individually, but are not associated together in an effort to influence others. such association would result in more rapidly spreading the idea of the responsibility of the individual, would create public opinion, would give moral support to those who might find their unaided strength inadequate to meet the temptations of the world, in short, would furnish the conditions favorable to the highest ideals of social and individual life. the white cross society aims to unite men in such an organized effort for the elevation of moral standards. its members are pledged to the keeping of a fivefold obligation. the first of these appeals to the chivalry latent in the heart of every man, making him a protector of every woman, however lonely or friendless she may be, recognizing her potential value to the race; protecting her against his own selfish desires, against the open and covert assaults of other men, against her own unwisdom, if need be. the second obligation pledges the white cross knight to a pure heart expressed not only in conduct but in word. he will think and speak reverently of life in all its phases, and help to cleanse the language--written or spoken--of all that pollutes the heart or vitiates the imagination. the third obligation claims for the white cross soldier the glory of living up to the highest moral standards, of being as pure as the noblest woman that lives. the fourth recognizes the power of influence and binds the members to a helpful interest in all humanity. the fifth covers the whole scope of life in the obligation to use every effort to fulfil the command, "keep thyself pure." the heart of the true man must throb a quick response to the appeal made to him by the white cross. it means marital fidelity, it implies the sanctity of the home, it creates individual purity, and that insures social purity, it means a nobler manhood, a grander womanhood, a safer childhood. the appeal is made to you individually. will you not become a white cross knight? will you not, even if you cannot join an organized society, become a standard-bearer of the white cross, pledging yourself to its five obligations? soon you will find others willing to unite with you in this great work, and the society will be formed. each one who reads this book may become a true and faithful knight of the white cross, no matter where he may be, in city mart or lonely farm, in busy shop or quiet school, and not only may he be a soldier, but he may be a recruiting officer, inducing others to enlist under the white cross banner. the white cross pledge. "_blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see god._" i promise, by the help of god: . _to treat all women with respect, and endeavor to protect them from wrong and degradation._ . _to endeavor to put down all indecent language and coarse jests._ . _to maintain the law of purity as equally binding upon men and women._ . _to endeavor to spread these principles among my companions, and try to help my younger brothers._ . _to use all possible means to fulfil the command, "keep thyself pure."_ name_______________________ * * * * * =self and sex series.= for men. =by sylvanus stall, d. d.= . "what a young boy ought to know." . "what a young man ought to know." . "what a young husband ought to know." . "what a man at forty-five ought to know." . "what a man at sixty-five ought to know." price $ . each. for women. =by mrs. mary wood-allen, m. d., and sylvanus stall, d. d.= . "what a young girl ought to know." . "what a young woman ought to know." . "what a young wife ought to know." . "what a woman at forty-five ought to know." . "what a woman at sixty-five ought to know." price $ . each. address orders to =wood-allen publishing co., ann arbor, mich.= * * * * * =almost a woman.= ... mary wood-allen, m. d. price, cents. =girls= have long been wanting a book written by dr. wood-allen for them to correspond with the one by the same author for =boys= at last the demand has been met and the doctor's new book, =almost a woman=, presents in attractive form the pure instruction needed by the girl. =mothers= will find this just what they have been wanting to put into the hands of their daughter. =wood-allen publishing co., ann arbor, mich.= * * * * * =books= ... by mary wood-allen, m. d. =teaching truth.= price, cents ... this little brochure aims to answer in chaste and scientific language the queries of children as to the origin of life. the reception it has met with is best indicated by the testimonials received from the press and through private letters. the principal of a young ladies' school writes: "i invited our girls to the parlor and read your brochure, which was listened to with the deepest interest. at certain portions of the reading nearly all were in tears. it is a most pathetically pure, chaste presentation of a grand subject. you would have rejoiced could you have heard the expressions from the young ladies. surely, dear dr. allen, god has blessed many through your instrumentality." read this book if you read no other but the bible this year.--_emma bates, valley city, n. d._ please send me some more copies of your unique and valuable little book. i cannot keep a copy over night. it would be an evangel to every young person in whose hands it might be placed. i would also invite the public school teachers to examine this rare little book.--_frances e. willard._ a skilful, graceful, and reverent effort to assist parents in what has been a delicate and difficult task. the author deserves the praise that belongs to the successful pioneer.--_george n. miller._ =almost a man.= ... price, cents ... the success of the "teaching truth," and "child-confidence rewarded," together with the frequent requests for some inexpensive book for the instruction of boys approaching manhood, has led to the writing of "=almost a man=." it is intended to help mothers and teachers in the delicate task of teaching the lad concerning himself, purely and yet with scientific accuracy. a booklet designed to help mothers and teachers in the instruction of boys. ought to be in the hands of every parent in the land.--_toledo blade._ chaste and pure, and admirably adapted to mothers in this most difficult, universally neglected but very important line of work.--_early education._ many mothers will be glad to read what such an authority as dr. wood-allen has to say on so important and delicate a subject.--_mother's journal._ worth its weight in gold to the puzzled mother, telling her exactly what she wants to know. this book deals reverently with the great mystery of life.--_ladies' home journal._ too much cannot be said in its favor.--_school education._ i can conscientiously recommend it to all who are interested in the physical and moral welfare of youth.--_c. a. dorman, m. d._ such literature cannot fail to accomplish great and lasting good.--_eng. f. storke, m. d._ many have given good advice, but this is the best.--_rev. kent white._ i believe this little book would do incalculable good if placed in the hands of boys after they have reached ten years of age.--_wm. g. lotze, gen. sec. y. m. c. a., denver, colo._ =address, wood-allen pub. co., ann arbor, mich.= * * * * * =a new book=, =the marvels of our bodily dwelling= =by mary wood-allen, m. d.= teaching by metaphor, parable, and allegory has been the method of many of the wisest instructors. no one can claim originality in comparing the body to a house, for that comparison is as old as literature. but the simile is still of interest to the juvenile mind, and as science is ever making new discoveries, there is continual demand for new and interesting works on physiology. dr. wood-allen in this new book has united scientific facts and metaphor with the skill that would be expected from her by those acquainted with her literary powers. the book will be found equally valuable as a text-book, a supplementary reader or a reference book in schools, or as a book of pleasant home instruction. teachers in normal schools will find it a most suggestive aid in teaching physiology. as it contains the most reliable scientific facts in regard to alcohol, tobacco, and other narcotics, it fills the demand created by the school laws compelling the teaching of the action of narcotics on the human body. testimonials. a charming book.--_frances willard._ only a scientific person can understand how really good it is. it has been to me intensely interesting, and i hope sincerely that the world at large will appreciate it.--_j. m. w. kitchen, m. d._ it gives me pleasure to note that the book, both by its subject-matter and its pleasing form of presentation, is well adapted to the use for which it is intended.--_b. a. hinsdale, professor of the science and art of teaching, university of michigan._ i find here, wrought out in attractive form, some of the most important knowledge that our young people ought to know. it is suitable for a supplementary reader in the upper grammar grades of the public schools. part second particularly is of the highest value to the boys and girls in our grammar and high schools.--_w. s. perry, principal of high school, ann arbor, mich._ this excellent work ought to be, not only read, but studied by every one in and out of our schools who is interested in preserving the integrity of our bodily and mental functions. the author's method would make knowledge invigorate and mature the judgment and not burden the memory, and this is the germinal idea in all sound education.--_geo. e. seymour, professor of history, high school, st. louis, mo._ =the retail price of the book is $ . . orders promptly filled by the= =wood-allen pub. co., ann arbor, mich.= * * * * * =the birth chamber.= price, cents. a supplementary chapter to =the marvels of our bodily dwelling=. in this supplementary chapter are given the scientific facts of special physiology, written in dr. wood-allen's own delicate style. many who have become aroused to the fact that accurate scientific knowledge is the surest safeguard of purity, are themselves not well enough instructed to be able to teach their children. this booklet meets the need of all such, and gives just what is wanted to instruct young people in regard to the sacred origin of life. every one who owns "teaching truth" and "child-confidence rewarded" will desire to possess this booklet also, for it supplements these perfectly. =child-confidence rewarded.= price, cents. "this little book treats of child-purity with the same delicate but masterly hand shown in dr. allen's other writings."--_union signal of july , ._ "unique and valuable."--_frances e. willard._ "i am delighted with it."--_katherine lente stevenson, chicago._ "most charmingly written."--_alice b. stockham, m. d., chicago._ "the good it will do is incalculable."--_emily s. bouton, in toledo blade._ "the best you have done yet. i can recommend it."--_earl barnes, professor in leland stanford university, palo alto, cal._ * * * * * =the new crusade= price cents a year. sample copies free. =mary wood-allen, m. d., editor.= it is sui generis, deals frankly and scientifically with the moral problems of the home, the school, and society. it embodies the work of the =white cross=, =white shield=, =mother's meetings=, =child-culture circles=, and the =rescue work=. also deals with the subject of reform and legislation for morality, and yet continuing to emphasize, most emphatically of all, the necessity of right instruction as the surest means of promoting purity. co-operating with the national superintendent of the department of health and heredity, it discusses all topics of health and inheritance, pre-natal influences, etc. =physical education will also have its share of attention.= crusaders of old endeavored to overthrow evil by "force and arms." the new crusade proposes to emphasize the positive side of life, and waging a peaceful war, aims to supplant ignorance by knowledge; to eradicate vice by virtue; to displace disease by health, and to dispel darkness by light. send for terms to agents and our club rates. make all money orders payable to =wood-allen publishing company, ann arbor, michigan.= * * * * * transcriber notes typographical problems have been changed and are listed below. hyphenation and common compound words standardized and listed below. author's archaic spelling is preserved. author's punctuation style is preserved. table of contents added. passages in italics indicated by _underscores_. passages in bold indicated by =equal signs=. transcriber changes the following changes were made to the original text: prelude: =meadow land= standardized to =meadow-land= (lads had crossed the sunny =meadow-land= of childhood and stood by the gate) page : added quotes (="it= has been so long since i saw you that you have almost grown out of my knowledge.... you must be fifteen years =old."=) page : =anyone= standardized to =any one= (supposing you try to forget that =any one= has ever told you anything about it) page : =every thing= standardized to =everything= (we may go even farther and say with mr. grant allen that =everything= high and ennobling in our nature springs directly from the fact of sex.) page : =microscrope= changed to =microscope= (they are not visible except with the aid of a =microscope=) page : changed period to comma after =to-night= (no one ever talked to me as you have =to-night,= and i am sure it makes me want to be better.) page : changed single quote to double (that will bring a blush to the cheeks of either, now, or in the years to =come."=) page : changed ending single quote to double (the doctor handed him, and then with another "good =night,"= he walked away in the darkness.) page : =plesaantness= changed to =pleasantness= ("all her ways are =pleasantness=, and all her paths are peace.") page : added comma after =mouth= (your eyes, hair, =mouth,= chin, your stature, figure, complexion, your talents, capabilities) page : =prehaps= changed to =perhaps= (you have observed them in yourself, though you =perhaps= have not understood them.) page : =tobacco using= standardized to =tobacco-using= (proofs are accumulating of the evil results to the children of =tobacco-using= parents) page : =transmissable= changed to =transmissible= (we also learn that the effects of education are =transmissible=) advertisements: removed extraneous quote after =youth= (i can conscientiously recommend it to all who are interested in the physical and moral welfare of =youth.=--_c. a. dorman, m. d._) advertisements: =m d.= changed to =m. d.= ("most charmingly written."--_alice b. stockham, =m. d.=, chicago._) * * * * * by the same author himself talks with men concerning themselves $ . confidences talks with a young girl concerning herself cts. truths talks with a boy concerning himself cts. false modesty cts. teaching sex hygiene cts. the home nurse $ . your baby a guide for mothers $ . ------------------------------------------------------------------------ herself talks with women concerning themselves by e. b. lowry, m.d. author of "confidences," "truths," etc. chicago forbes & company ------------------------------------------------------------------------ copyright, , by forbes and company ------------------------------------------------------------------------ preface a recent number of the journal of the american medical association contained this paragraph: "a correspondent asks for a good book describing the female generative organs anatomically, physiologically and pathologically, treating also of childbirth, written in language easily understood by a layman. he desires to give copies to some of his young women patients. the editor regrets there is no satisfactory book on the subject although there is great need for one." it is a lamentable fact that the majority of women and girls are ignorant of the structure of their most important organs. in the majority of schools and colleges where physiology is taught, absolutely nothing is mentioned about the reproductive organs. as far as books or instruction are concerned, the girl is ignorant of their very existence. if she knew something of the structure of such important organs and the harmful results of many practices or acts of carelessness affecting them, would she not be better prepared to take the proper care of herself and more liable to develop into a strong, healthy woman? if a girl in the business world is intrusted with a delicate piece of machinery she is taught the structure, use and care of it. why is it not just as necessary that the girl, who is intrusted with the care of delicate organisms upon whose condition depends the health of the future generation, be instructed regarding the care of these organs? instead, she is left in absolute ignorance and then blamed if she mars them. every woman should have some knowledge of the structure and care of her body, especially of those parts which are concerned so intimately in the welfare of the future generation. every woman, too, should receive some instruction regarding the care of young children and the proper management of the home. a woman who attempts to care for herself and her children without proper knowledge of these subjects is like a man who tries to run his business blindfolded. that thinking women are awakening to the fact that they have been suffering unnecessarily and are realizing the necessity for more knowledge concerning the hygiene and physiology of their own bodies is shown by the fact that nearly every chapter in this book has been written in answer to questions asked by women readers of the author's magazine articles. with the hope that the plain facts herein set forth will aid some women to have healthier and happier lives and healthier and happier babies this series of talks has been written. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ contents chapter page i anatomy and physiology of the female organs ii menstruation--puberty--menopause iii diseases of the female organs iv constipation--hemorrhoids v the black plagues vi fake medical advice for women vii the marriage relation viii embryology ix abortions x maternal impressions--heredity xi childless homes and real homes xii prevention of pregnancy xiii some of the causes of divorce xiv the need of early instruction of girls xv why girls go astray xvi self-abuse xvii effects of immoral life xviii flirtations and their results xix white slavery xx the need of early instruction of boys xxi why boys go astray xxii how shall the child be told xxiii women in business xxiv nervousness--a lack of control xxv a woman is as young as she wants to be ------------------------------------------------------------------------ herself chapter i anatomy and physiology of the female organs before we can understand the care of anything we must have some knowledge of its structure; so i think it well, in this our first talk, that we should learn something of the structure of the female generative organs. as i have told some of you in former talks, the womb is designed as a nest for the babe during its process of development from the egg or ovule. it lies in the center of the pelvis, or lower part of the body cavity, in front of the rectum and behind and above the bladder. it is pear-shaped, with the small end downward, and is about three inches long, two inches wide and one inch thick. it consists of layers of muscles enclosing a cavity which, owing to the thickness of the walls, is comparatively small. this cavity is triangular in shape and has three openings,--one at the lower end or mouth of the womb into the vagina and one at each side, near the top, into the fallopian tubes. the womb, or uterus as it sometimes is called, is not firmly attached nor adherent to any of the bony parts. it is suspended in the pelvic cavity and kept in place by muscles and ligaments. as the muscles and ligaments are elastic, the womb slightly changes its position with different movements of the body. normally, it is inclined forward, resting on the bladder; so you see, a full bladder will push it backward, while a full rectum and intestines tend to push it forward and downward. [illustration: generative organs.] the lower end or mouth of the womb opens into the vagina, a distensible and curved muscular tube, which helps to support the womb and also connects it with the external parts. the vagina is about three and a half inches long. it often is called the birth canal because the baby must pass through it on its way from the womb to the external world. the two upper openings of the womb lead into the fallopian tubes or oviducts, which are two small muscular tubes leading from the ovaries to the womb. each one is about four inches long, but the opening through the center in its largest portion is only about as large as a broom straw, while near the womb it narrows down until it will admit only a fine bristle. when the ovum or seed leaves the ovary it must pass through one of these tubes to reach the womb, so you see how necessary it is that they be kept in good condition. from the end of each tube, but not directly connected with it, is suspended a small almond-shaped body called the ovary. each ovary is similar in shape and size to an almond, measuring about one and a half inches in length, three-fourths of an inch in width and one-half an inch in thickness. the function or work of the ovaries is to produce, develop and mature the ova (eggs) and to discharge them when fully formed so they may enter the tubes and so find their way to the womb. in every ovary there are several hundred little ovules or eggs in various stages of development. at irregular intervals one of these ovules ripens and leaves the ovary. it passes along the fallopian tube to the womb. here it remains if it is impregnated or fertilized, and develops into the babe. if not impregnated, it passes off with the menstrual flow. every twenty-eight days large quantities of blood are sent to the womb, producing a natural congestion. the pressure of this extra blood in the tiny capillaries of the womb stretches and weakens their walls. this allows the blood, which is being sent to the womb to provide nourishment for the ovum if it be impregnated, to pass into the cavity of the womb, then out through the mouth into the vagina, thence to the external parts. this flow is called the menstrual flow. when the flow ceases the mucosa or lining assumes its former state. this process is repeated every month. [illustration: . bladder . urethra . uterus . vagina . rectum . peritoneum . perineum vertical section of pelvis] lining the cavity of the abdomen and also folded over the womb, ovaries, tubes and other organs is a thin membrane called the peritoneum. an inflammation of this lining is called peritonitis. all these organs i have mentioned are situated inside the body out of sight, but there are other organs that are external. you have noticed two longitudinal folds of skin extending from the anus, or external opening of the rectum, to the rounded eminence in front. their outer surface is covered with hair and their inner surface with glands that secrete a lubricating material. these folds are called the labia majora. within the labia majora are two smaller folds called the labia minora. these folds meet at their anterior (front) end. at the meeting point you will notice a very small structure which is called the clitoris. this clitoris is very similar in structure to the penis of the male, having a tiny prepuce or foreskin which folds over to protect the sensitive end. sometimes the foreskin is bound down too tightly, so that instead of being a protection to the parts, it becomes a source of irritation. then we say the clitoris is hooded and it is necessary to loosen or cut this fold of skin. the operation is similar to that of circumcision in the male. just back of the clitoris, within the folds of the labia, is situated the meatus urinarius, or opening leading to the bladder. this aperture does not open directly into the bladder but is connected to it by a tube, about an inch and a half long, called the urethra. the orifice or external opening of the vagina is situated just back of the meatus urinarius, also within the folds of the labia. in the virgin it is partly closed by a membranous fold called the hymen or maidenhead. the shape and size of the hymen varies greatly in different individuals, sometimes being entirely absent. after marriage it usually persists as notched folds. the presence of an intact hymen is not necessarily a sign of virginity, nor does its absence necessarily indicate defloration. its congenital absence or absence at the time of birth is known. it sometimes is injured, or may be destroyed by an accident, as by falling astride of an object; again violent exercise may rupture it (horseback riding). surgical operations or vaginal examinations, roughly conducted, not infrequently cause rupture. then, too, authentic cases are on record in which prostitutes have had perfectly preserved hymens. it is well known that the use of vaginal astringents may tone up and narrow the vagina and even restore the hymen to a great degree. the surface between the vaginal orifice and the anus is called the perineum (do not confuse this with the peritoneum, for they are entirely different). it is this perineum that sometimes becomes torn during childbirth. the vaginal opening does not always stretch sufficiently to allow the passage of the child's head and the great pressure being exerted on the child by the uterine and abdominal muscles pushes it through, causing the tear. (you will understand this better when i explain about the development and birth of the child.) if this tear is repaired immediately no inconvenience usually results but if it is neglected it may produce a series of complications, some of which are falling of the womb, inflammation and even sterility. not directly connected with any of the other organs but still associated with them are the breasts. they vary in size at different periods of life, being usually of small size when the girl is young but increasing in size as the generative organs develop. the breasts consist of fatty tissue surrounding milk glands and ducts. during pregnancy they increase in size and become filled with milk. after the menopause (change of life) they ordinarily shrink in size. the ancient greek statues, such as the venus de medici, long regarded as a type of perfect beauty, the venus of capua, regarded as the bust of a perfect form, show that the grecian ideal of the feminine form had small busts. the modern idea seems to have wandered far from the grecian ideal and many women devote much time and money trying to develop their busts. perhaps sometime we will give up trying to be so artificial and conform to nature's ideal. nature has constructed the internal female organs so wisely that we seldom need give them much thought. but the external organs do need our attention every day. i told you that the labia secreted a lubricating material which kept the parts moist, but this secretion must not be allowed to accumulate. the scalp secretes an oil that is necessary to the health of the hair but if this and the perspiration are allowed to accumulate the hair has an offensive odor. so it is with the female organs, the parts must be bathed carefully every day. i have been surprised in the past to find how many intelligent women neglect these parts. women come for an examination, their clothing is scrupulously clean, their bodies show recent care but in the folds of the labia, especially near the clitoris, i find an accumulation of a cheesy-like material which has an odor very offensive to any truly refined woman. sometimes in public gatherings, i have been seated near a woman with this same offensive odor very noticeable, and i have longed to tell her how to avoid it, for i am sure others must notice the same odor. but even from a physician, in the privacy of the office, women resent any suggestion that they are not thorough in matters of cleanliness. daily cleansing of these parts is a necessity. at least once a day these parts should be sponged carefully. the labia should be separated and every fold thoroughly cleansed. occasional vaginal douches also are necessary, for the various secretions often are retained in the folds of the vagina and cause irritation. but in taking a douche one always should remember to have the water warm. cold water may produce congestion. the virtue of douches (except when taken for medicinal purposes) lies in their cleansing properties and warm water cleanses even better than cold. many women produce grave disorders by the use of cold douches under the mistaken notion that they are of greater value than hot ones. a douche should be taken at the close of the menstrual period especially. these female organs should not be the source of worry but they do require as much or even more attention to cleanliness than we give to our mouths or other parts of the body. chapter ii menstruation--puberty--menopause the subject of menstruation seems to be troubling several of you. i am sorry that you did not all have the advantage of having this explained at an early age. you might have been saved a great deal of suffering and causeless worry. by menstruation, or "the monthlies" as it sometimes is called, is meant the monthly hemorrhage that takes place in the uterus or womb during the child-bearing period of the normal woman except during pregnancy and lactation, when it nearly always is suspended. the child-bearing period commences at the age of puberty and ends with the menopause (change of life). puberty is the period of maturing of the sexual organs. it occurs about the age of twelve, although there may be considerable variation as to this. it extends over a period of several years. as a rule, girls mature earlier in warm climates than in cold and in cities than in country districts. the signs of the approach of this period are the growth of hair on the pubes and other parts of the body, the enlargement of the breasts, a general rounding and increased grace of the body, the development of the pelvis so that the hips become more prominent, and a change in the mental qualities of the child, the girl naturally becoming more retiring. the menstrual function usually is not established at once, there being premonitory symptoms of a vague nature. there may be, at first, only a slight discharge of mucus tinged with blood, later the normal menstrual flow will be established. during this period of puberty there are great changes taking place in the girl's internal organs. this change and development requires considerable of the girl's strength and naturally influences her nervous system. it is for this reason that a girl at this period of her life should not be subjected to any great exertion, either physical or mental. she should have plenty of light, healthful exercise in the open air, but should not indulge in any very violent exercise. a little care at this time often will save her years of suffering. as the nervous system is greatly affected at this period there should be no great mental strain. in fact, if the girl shows many nervous symptoms, it may be wise to take her out of school for a year so that her strength may be used as nature requires it. as a rule, too much work is required in school at this age. the school duties should be lessened and the girl allowed to rest a day or two during her menstrual period. the girl at this age should not attempt to accomplish as much work or study as the boy does. her time at this period might better be occupied in learning the rudiments of housekeeping and home-making. then, when her body has become developed, her strength can be spared and can be well used in the development of her mind. if the nervous strain too common at this age could be relieved we would have fewer nervous women and a healthier and happier posterity. as puberty approaches, a mother should give her daughter adequate information so that she should not be frightened at the first appearance of the menstrual flow, nor take any risks at this period. menstruation is the sign of the possibility of motherhood. if properly taught this fact, every girl will be glad she menstruates and will want to be careful during the period. on account of lack of early instruction, many a girl obtains wrong ideas regarding this function and it produces in her a feeling of repugnance. she should be taught the reasons for observing prudence during the menstrual period. the possible lifelong invalidism that may result should be pointed out. a woman owes it to herself to take good care of herself during her menstrual periods. for two or three days at least she should avoid any unnecessary strain, lie down and rest as much as possible and not worry over school or other duties. especial attention should be paid to cleanliness during this period. a sponge bath taken in a warm room is not injurious and unpleasant odors can be avoided by sponging the parts with a warm antiseptic solution upon changing the cloth. every woman should be provided with a circular girdle cut upon the bias so it may be elastic, and provided with tabs to which to pin the folded cloth. she also should have a supply of sanitary cloths made of absorbent cotton-fabric, or pads made of absorbent cotton enclosed in gauze. the latter especially are convenient for the girl who is obliged to room away from home, for they may be burned and the cost of new ones is no greater than the laundry of cloths. these pads or cloths should be changed at least twice a day. it also is necessary that one should bathe the parts in warm water with each change, as unpleasant odors can thereby be avoided. at the close of each period she should take a bath and change all clothing. one cannot be too careful about these matters so essential to cleanliness. it is surprising how many women neglect these important matters. the erroneous idea that bathing of any sort at this time may have disastrous results accounts for much of this neglect. if proper care is taken warm sponge baths cannot be injurious. a woman in normal health should not suffer at the menstrual period. she normally will have a feeling of lassitude and disinclination for any great mental or physical work, perhaps accompanied by a slight feeling of uneasiness in the pelvic region. because so many women do suffer at these periods it often is considered as "natural" and allowed to continue. the phenomena often noted at the menstrual period are,--pains in various parts of the body, hot flashes, chilliness and various hysterical symptoms. a few days before menstruation commences there may be various nervous symptoms, as irritability and a disinclination for any exertion. dark circles often appear under the eyes and the breasts become enlarged and painful. a sense of fullness and oppression may be felt in the head. any severe pain or profuse flow during the period or a discharge between periods indicates a weakened or diseased condition and should not be neglected, for it sooner or later will affect the whole system. a woman suffering from female diseases not only is unable to perform her work in a normal manner but the pale skin, dark circles under the eyes and drawn haggard look which accompany these conditions rob her of her charm of physical excellence. the menstrual flow appears, as a rule, every twenty-eight days, although the length of time varies with the individual. the average duration is five days, but varies from three to seven. the flow consists of blood from the uterine mucosa (lining of the womb) together with small quantities of mucus. the color generally is dark at first while later it becomes more pale. women in poor health often have a pale discharge. there always is a faint odor to the menstrual flow, which has been likened to the odor of marigolds. the quantity varies with the individual. usually fleshy girls flow more than thin ones and dark complexioned ones than light ones. the average quantity is four to six fluid ounces. the time between the periods is required by the uterus or womb to first restore the lining and then prepare it for the reception of the ovum. every month one or more ova (eggs) leave the ovary, pass to the uterus and, if not impregnated, pass off with the menstrual flow. the material prepared for the reception of the ovum is used to nourish the new life if pregnancy occurs, but when it does not, this surplus passes off in the form of the menstrual flow. the menopause or change of life is the end of the child-bearing period of a woman's life. the average age at which it occurs is forty-six, although there is a great difference as to this. in some women it has been known to occur as early as the thirtieth year, while in others it does not come until the fifty-fifth year. as a rule, a woman who commences to menstruate at an early age continues to do so until a late age, while with a woman who commences to menstruate late, the change comes early. at this period of a woman's life, there are numerous changes taking place in the body. the ovaries and uterus atrophy or shrink in size, and cease to functionate. the nervous system is being readjusted to meet the changed conditions. one symptom of the approach of this period is irregularity in menstruation; sometimes several periods are missed, then the menstrual flow appears normally for several months and then disappears again. often the woman complains of hot flashes, cramps in the limbs and other parts of the body. these are caused by the attempts to readjust the nervous system to the altered conditions. a great many women worry unnecessarily, for there is no especial danger at this time unless the body has been neglected previously and a diseased condition is present. but the body needs a little extra care, just as it did at puberty. so many women break down their health by worrying at this period over what might happen. the best plan for every woman, as soon as she perceives the approach of this period, is to go to a reliable physician and have a thorough examination. then if there are any neglected tears or chronic inflammations they can be corrected and danger removed. if a person were to cross a deep lake and had any doubts regarding the worthiness of the vessel provided for his use, he would be very foolish if he did not have a trained boat-builder examine his vessel and repair any weak places. it is just as important for a woman about to cross this period of her life to go to a trained repairer of bodies and have him correct any weak places. the various changes taking place consume so much of the woman's strength that she requires an extra amount of rest and cannot use up as much energy in working as at other periods of her life. the ordinary woman does not realize the need of extra rest during this period and so continues her usual work. then the extra drain on her nervous system shows itself in various forms. the disturbances sometimes are productive of so much discomfort and so often are exaggerated beyond physiological limits that the patient is impelled to seek relief and often requires a physician's attention. puberty or the period of development extends over several years, so the menopause or period of atrophy extends over a period of from three to five years. if a woman relaxes and allows the changes to proceed naturally she need have no cause to worry, but she must remember that rest from continual strain is necessary during this period. freedom from care, relaxation of physical and mental effort, regular periods of complete rest once or twice a day, a reduction of the diet and regulation of the bowels should be the first principles of treatment. then--do not worry but occupy the mind with happy thoughts. chapter iii diseases of the female organs so much of the suffering among women is unnecessary, being due to the neglect of the little things, so much ill health can be relieved by attention to a few simple hygienic measures, that i think it wise to describe some of the most common disorders of the female organs, and to explain their symptoms so that you would not ignorantly neglect them, if you should be so unfortunate as to contract any. the most common diseases of the female organs may be classed as displacements, inflammations and tumors. on account of its lack of strong attachment, the womb is very easily displaced. when from any cause the womb is congested and heavy the extra weight stretches the supporting muscles and ligaments, which then allow it to fall out of place. it also may be displaced by a sudden fall, by jumping or other strenuous exercise. as the womb normally is heavier at the menstrual period than at any other time and as there is a natural congestion then, it is more easily displaced at that time than during any other part of the month. this is one reason why one should be careful not to take strenuous exercise at the menstrual period. the most common displacement, or the most common way for the womb to tip, is backwards and at the same time it usually falls downward. you remember, the rectum is directly back of the womb, so, if the womb is tipped backwards, it presses against the rectum. this tends to prevent the feces, or bowel movement, from passing out naturally and helps to produce constipation. the womb, pressing against the rectum, also presses on the blood vessels which are very numerous there. this pressure on the blood vessels prevents the blood from leaving them. if it is held there, it causes the blood vessels to dilate in order to be large enough to contain it. we call this enlarged portion of the vein a blood tumor. these tumors or dilated blood vessels of the rectum are called hemorrhoids or piles. i will explain these more thoroughly when i talk to you about constipation. the womb may tip forward, pressing on the bladder and causing a frequent desire to urinate. more rarely it is tipped to one side. it then tends to pull on the ovaries and produce pain and various nervous symptoms. the womb may fall downward, pressing against both the bladder and rectum and dragging the ovaries and tubes out of their natural positions. sometimes it even protrudes from the vagina. any falling or displacement of the womb pulls on the tubes and ovaries, often producing an inflammation. this inflammation should not be allowed to continue, as it may become serious, even extending to the peritoneum and producing peritonitis. the nerves of the uterus are very closely connected with the spinal nerves, therefore, any displacement reacts through them and may produce headache and backache, which are the common accompaniments of any uterine disorder. [illustration: knee-chest position] one of the most simple and yet efficacious treatments to correct a displacement downward and backward is to assume the knee-chest position for a few moments morning and evening after the clothing has been removed. in the knee-chest position, the patient kneels on the bed, then bends forward until her chest touches the bed; the back slopes down and the thighs should be at right angles with the bed. this position allows the various organs to fall forward and toward the upper part of the body, the pressure on the uterus is relieved and it assumes its natural position. this treatment, persisted in, will relieve nearly every case which has not some other disorder connected with it. if every woman would assume this position for a few minutes once or twice a week, just before retiring, she would be greatly benefited; for the majority of women have a slight falling of the womb, which then presses on the rectal and other nerves causing various nervous symptoms. the womb and ovaries are surrounded by a dense network of nerves and blood vessels, making them very liable to congestion. tight clothing or improperly fitted clothing causes pressure and interferes with the circulation. i believe that a large percentage of the objections to the corset originated from women wearing improperly fitted corsets which pushed the organs out of place. a corset fitted to the wearer is not injurious and serves as a support. overwork, catching cold and excesses may produce a congestion which is one stage of inflammation. the most common symptoms of inflammation of the womb are pain in the pelvic region, a dull backache, especially across the hips, and a vaginal discharge called leucorrhoea (whites). any leucorrhoea shows a disordered condition which should be corrected. it may be simply of a catarrhal nature, due to pressure or cold, or it may indicate a more serious condition, as the presence of one of the black plagues. whenever a woman notices a vaginal discharge, it is a wise plan to go at once to a reliable physician, find out what is the cause and nature and then take measures to correct it. in the beginning a very little treatment, such as hot douches, may be all that is required, while if untreated the condition may become serious, as you will understand when i explain about the black plagues. any disorder of the uterus or ovaries reacts through the nerves upon other parts of the body and may produce various symptoms such as general weakness, headaches and backaches. this drain on the system often is shown by dark circles under the eyes, pale skin and a drawn, haggard expression. all these tend to rob a woman of her charm of physical excellence, and none of us wish to lose that; for it is natural for all women to wish to appear attractive. one of the most common of the so-called female disorders, which seems to be the lot of the majority of women, is dysmenorrhoea or painful menstruation. this is not a disease in itself, but the symptom of various disorders. a woman in normal health should not suffer at her menstrual period; so if she does suffer it shows there is something wrong. the natural thing for anyone to do who had dysmenorrhoea would be first to find the cause of this pain and then take measures to correct it. it may be due to displacements, inflammations or tumors; it may be due to a contraction of the mouth of the womb which does not dilate sufficiently to allow the menstrual discharge to flow freely. it may be due to neuralgia or rheumatism of the uterus or ovaries. pain always indicates an unnatural condition. it is the cry of tortured nerves. the cause should be determined by a competent physician and then measures taken immediately to restore the normal condition. one who suffers from dysmenorrhoea should try to plan her work so that she may rest the first day of her menstrual period, and, if possible, the preceding day. absolute rest in bed at this time is beneficial. a hot sitz bath, hot foot bath or hot vaginal douche taken just previous to the commencement of the period will aid in relieving the congestion and thus lessen the pain. after the flow has started hot foot baths and hot applications to the abdomen may be used. hot drinks also may be taken, but one should not get in the habit of using any drug at this time. hot ginger tea will do as much good as one prepared with some habit-forming drug. many of the remedies advertised as a cure for this condition are composed chiefly of alcohol, and, although they may give a temporary relief, the benefit is not permanent. careful attention to diet and exercise, with regular hours of sleep, are essential points to be considered if one would be free from this disagreeable trouble. another symptom which often causes much alarm to the patient is amenorrhoea or deficient or scanty menstruation. this may result from fear, worry, catching cold or to an enlargement of the womb. it also is one of the first symptoms of pregnancy. sometimes it indicates an impoverished condition of the blood and shows the need of a general building up of the system. this is true especially in young girls who have what is called chlorosis or green sickness. these girls are pale, weak, sometimes having a greenish cast to their complexions. they need good care and nourishing food and plenty of light, outdoor exercise. in young girls i sometimes find an irritation of the vagina which causes pain. this may be due to the retention of secretions in the vagina. the general idea that only married women have leucorrhoea, or whites, is fallacious. virgins may have it. the usual cause is catching cold at the menstrual period. another delusion is that these girls should not take douches for fear they might injure the hymen. this is erroneous, for douches are necessary in the treatment of this condition and, except in very rare cases, a douche can be taken with an especially small douche point without injury to the parts. there normally must be a small opening in the hymen to permit the passage of the menstrual flow. if a small douche point is used no harm will result. when i talked to you about the structure of the external generative organs, i mentioned the clitoris and explained that sometimes the prepuce or foreskin is bound down, or is too tight, so that the natural secretions are retained under it and produce an irritation; that the operation for the unhooding of the clitoris is very similiar to that of circumcision in the male and is performed for similar causes. many a woman who has been nervous all her life, owes her condition to a hooded clitoris, which a very simple operation would correct. a hooded clitoris also may have something to do with the immoral life of some girls. the other day i received a letter from an aged physician who, in discussing the tendency to immoral practices, says: "you say in one of your articles, 'what is the remedy? educate!' well, perhaps, but if you would let me circumcise the girl early in life, i believe it would be more certain." there is considerable truth in his statement. a hooded clitoris produces a constant irritation which tends to lead to habits of self-abuse and perhaps immorality. the other common disorder which i named at first is a tumor. tumors are any unnatural growth. they may form in any part of the body, but just now we will speak only of those affecting the internal female organs. tumors may form in the cavity of the womb, in its walls or on the outside of it. the common symptoms are an enlargement of the abdomen accompanied usually by pain due to pressure on the nerves. there also may be some hemorrhage at other than the regular menstrual periods. sometimes the ovaries are diseased and become enlarged, tender and filled with fluid. then they are spoken of as cystic tumors or as cysts. the tubes may become inflamed and filled with pus. the most common cause of these pus tubes is one of the black plagues. with all these tumors the treatment usually is to remove the tumor and sometimes the entire organ. in a few cases it is possible that the fluid or other contents of the tumor may be absorbed, if the general health and circulation are improved. in some cases we find what is called a phantom tumor. there really is no tumor, although the symptoms may be such that even reliable physicians are misled. the symptoms are due to a nervous condition. these phantom tumors have given many a quack a reputation for removing tumors without the use of the knife. a carcinoma or cancer is a malignant tumor, that is, one that tends to grow worse and to reappear if it apparently is removed. the reappearance may be in the same place or in an entirely different portion of the body. cancer of the uterus is not uncommon in women. it frequently follows neglect of some injury. for example, it will appear on the site of an unrepaired tear. it most commonly comes after the menopause. the change that is undergone at that time seems to stir things up and bring to light any neglected injury. this is another reason why every woman at the menopause should undergo a thorough examination and have any defect repaired, thus avoiding much of the possibility of trouble. a frequent symptom of carcinoma of the uterus is hemorrhage at irregular times after the menopause. any woman who has such a condition would be wise if she immediately repaired to a physician and determined the cause of the hemorrhage. in the beginning it is possible to remove a cancer, but later it becomes so involved in the surrounding structures that its removal is impossible. you may think i am trying to increase business for the physicians but in reality my advice, if taken, would lessen their practice. it is another application of "a stitch in time saves nine." in the beginning almost all these diseases can be corrected with very little trouble, while if neglected the process is much slower. the probabilities are that the doctor will have the case later, if not consulted early, but instead of a few office treatments he will have an expensive operation. so, you see, i really am trying to save you doctors' bills when i urge early and thorough examinations. there is a peculiar thing about the human race. a machine will get out of order and the owner will send for an expert machinist to repair it--not attempting to patch it up himself. but when these bodies of ours, the most wonderful and complicated of machines, get out of repair we try to patch them up ourselves or try various remedies recommended by those who know worse than nothing about the physical machinery. then we think we are saving doctors' bills, when at the same time we are spending twice as much on questionable repairs--patent medicines, which often do more harm than good. frequently they contain stimulants which produce a mythical improvement but leave the system worse off than before. chapter iv constipation--hemorrhoids a regular daily movement of the bowels is necessary to health. much of the illness in the world might have been avoided if the victims had taken better care of the excretory organs. one of the first questions a physician asks a patient is, "how are your bowels, do they move regularly every day?" in some cases that is the first time the patient has thought of them, and he has to think some time before he can remember just when and how often his bowels did move. then perhaps he is not sure. in a great many cases it is a routine practice with physicians to give a "good cleaning out," that is, to give a thorough laxative. many times this is all the treatment required and in other cases it only is combined with a little intestinal antiseptic to further carry out the cleaning process. the most common cause of constipation is irregularity in going to the toilet. when the desire for defecation comes, we are too busy and postpone it until some more convenient time, which time may be too late. nature is the best judge as to when the bowels are ready to be emptied. if we do not obey her call, we must take the consequences. when the waste material is ready to be voided, it is in a semi-fluid state, but, if it remains in the intestines too long the water is absorbed and the waste material is left in a hard mass which is expelled with difficulty. not only that, but the desire to expel it soon passes. nature, finding we do not respond to her call, ceases to notify us. if the waste material is allowed to remain in the bowels, not only the water is absorbed but with it some of the poisons from the waste material, which are taken up by the blood and carried to all parts of the system, causing a great deal of trouble and pain. this absorption of toxins (poisons) causes headache, loss of appetite, a sense of depression and a lack of energy. the pressure of the hard material on the tender tissues of the rectum causes hemorrhoids or piles, by irritating the tissues and causing a congestion. hemorrhoids are enlarged veins which have been so irritated and filled with extra blood that they have lost their power to contract. these enlarged veins may remain inside the rectum and then are known as internal piles. sometimes they protrude externally and then are known as external piles. frequently they become tender and cause a great deal of pain. in some cases one of the little veins becomes so engorged with blood that it bursts and allows the contained blood to escape. this is known as bleeding piles. for mild cases of hemorrhoids (piles) the treatment is to correct the accompanying constipation, then take an enema or injection of warm water morning and evening, using the water as hot as can be borne and allowing it to run in and out the rectum for some time. following this, an astringent and soothing lotion should be applied. constipation may be caused by retroversion of the uterus. if the uterus is tipped backwards it presses on the rectum, preventing the passage of the feces (bowel movement). this pressure also causes hemorrhoids. in this case the treatment is to correct the displacement. in many cases all that is necessary is to take the knee-chest position for a few minutes night and morning. always in the treatment of constipation, the first item is to discover the cause. we have noted that the chief cause is irregularity in going to the toilet, therefore, the first measure to be taken in the treatment is regularity in going to the toilet. choose a convenient hour, usually right after breakfast, and always go to the toilet at that time no matter if there is a desire or not. at first there may be no natural movement but if you persist, your efforts will be rewarded. for the first few days it is well to take an enema of warm, soapy water at this time. every day take exercise that will strengthen the muscles of the abdomen. bending forward and touching the toes with the fingers without bending the knees is one valuable exercise. this should be done ten or twelve times morning and evening. a daily brisk walk in the fresh air is another good exercise. fruit or figs eaten with the meals or a glass of water taken before breakfast and upon retiring often proves very beneficial in relieving a tendency to constipation. there is an old saying, "an apple or two before going to bed, and the doctor will go begging for his bread." this really is a practical idea and more nearly true than many old sayings. cathartics or laxatives should not be taken except for an occasional dose or during illness upon the advice of a physician. so common is the practice of taking daily laxatives that it has become a "national curse"! people do not realize that they are slaves to this habit, so they continue to take their daily doses of "teas" or "waters." in many cases a patient will tell his physician that his bowels are "all right," that they move every day. further questionings reveal the fact that he is in the habit of taking some laxative frequently. the bowels are not "all right" if any laxative is required. massage of the abdomen usually is very beneficial in treating constipation. it acts by stimulating the muscles and should be given at set times in the day but never until two hours after any meal. the various vibrators act in the same manner as massage. in any massage of the abdomen the thighs should be flexed, as this relaxes the abdominal muscles. enemas or injections of warm water may be taken occasionally and then are beneficial, but if long continued are injurious by reason of their irritating effect. at times, when the stomach and intestines have been over-loaded with irritating material, an enema is one of the quickest measures for relief. in obstinate constipation two or three ounces of warm olive oil injected slowly into the rectum at night and allowed to remain until morning will soften the waste material so it can be evacuated easily in the morning. constipation never should be neglected as it carries in its train a long line of disorders, as hemorrhoids (piles), abscesses, and intestinal obstruction. indigestion and constipation frequently are bosom friends. how often indigestion is a result of nervous strain is perhaps seldom realized. a business man eats his lunch and other meals in a hurry, with his mind on his business. his energies are being consumed by his brain and very little is left to be used in the digestion of his food. one never should eat when tired and nervous. take a few moments' absolute rest before meals. if possible lie down and relax all muscles for a few moments. then eat your meal slowly and if possible have some pleasant companion who will talk with you on subjects not connected with your business cares. you will be surprised to note the improvement in your digestion and incidentally in your tendency to constipation. for the noon meal, office workers should eat only light and easily digested food. eat your heaviest meal after the work for the day is finished and the blood which has been required by the brain can be spared to the stomach. people doing manual labor that requires physical strength need, and can digest, a heavy noonday meal but the requirements of the brain workers are quite different. many girls break down on account of lack of sufficient nourishment. coffee and rolls for breakfast, ice cream and rolls for lunch and a sandwich and coffee for dinner is not sufficient food for any working girl. and yet that is about the diet of hundreds of girls. often it is impossible for her to provide more, for when a girl must pay for her board, room, clothes and laundry from her salary of five or six dollars a week, sufficient food becomes an impossibility. many girls actually are slowly starving on this account. when the wheels of progress make it possible for every working girl to have a comfortable home and sufficient nourishing food many of the social problems will right themselves. chapter v the black plagues i promised to explain to you what i meant by the black plagues. it is strange when anything is as widely spread as are these diseases that so few people know anything about them, or realize their importance. at one time epidemics of typhoid fever were regarded as a revelation of the wrath of god. now we know they are due to carelessness and lack of sanitation. it is the same with the sufferings of women. we used to think it was a dispensation of providence if a woman were compelled to undergo an operation. now we know it usually is due to someone's lack of care, to a desecration of nature's teachings. i remember when i was quite young hearing mention made of a "bad disease." concerning the nature of this disease i was ignorant but i gathered the idea that it was some terrible disease which was contracted only by the most depraved of mortals. how little i suspected its widely-spread distribution, and how little i dreamed that among my acquaintances might be any afflicted with these diseases! nor did i dream of the danger of innocent contagion. since then i have learned what these diseases were. now we call them the black plagues, because, owing to the prejudice of the majority, we dare not use their correct names generally. i have no doubt you will be as surprised and shocked as i was at the things i am going to impart to you. by black plagues we mean the two diseases spoken of by physicians as the venereal diseases, because they usually are contracted during sexual intercourse. the most common of these diseases is gonorrhoea, or clap, as it often is called by men. how common it is may be judged by a statement made by a professor to his class in the medical college that at least eighty per cent. of the men in the world have contracted it sometime during their lives. even the most conservative give the estimate as sixty per cent. the prevalent idea common among men that it is no worse than a cold--a mere annoyance that all men must expect and endure sometime--is lamentable. the persistence of the disease in the deeper structures long after it outwardly is cured leads to unexpected communication of it to women, among whom may be the young wife. as a result she enters upon a period of ill-health that ultimately may compel the mutilation of her body by a surgical operation to save her life. much of the surgery performed upon the female organs has been rendered necessary by disease contracted from the husband. a few little germs of this disease left on even the external organs may find their way up through the vagina to the uterus or womb. here they may produce an inflammation of the lining of the womb, causing severe pain and other symptoms, such as profuse discharge. the germs may go farther, or the inflammation may extend from the uterus to the tubes. when we consider that the passage through the tubes is only about as large as a broom straw, we see what serious trouble may result. the tubes become enlarged and filled with pus. the opening from the tubes to the uterus becomes closed, so there is no way for the pus to escape. the accumulation of pus or the products of septic inflammation stretch the walls of the tubes until the little nerves in the walls cry out in rebellion. the pain becomes so great and the reflex symptoms are so aggravated that finally the woman resorts to the only relief,--an operation for the removal of the tubes. when we consider that the ovule, the human egg, must travel through these tubes to reach the uterus and, if they are destroyed, has no other way of reaching the womb and, if it cannot reach the womb and be impregnated, cannot develop into the babe, then we realize how this disease is dooming women to childless lives,--women whose natural instincts and desires cry out for motherhood. when we consider the factors that promote race suicide we must not forget this important one. even though the woman refuses an operation, or in a case in which the inflammation is not so severe and is reduced until she is nearly free from pain, the result may be the same, for the tubes may remain closed permanently. the closure of the tubes is not the only result that may follow the course of this disease. the infection may extend into the peritoneal cavity causing peritonitis, which so often results in the untimely death of the woman. here let me say that not all cases of peritonitis or of inflammation of the womb, tubes or ovaries are due to this infection. there are other infections, other germs, that may produce similar results. these germs may reach the organs in various ways. sometimes the woman herself is to blame and sometimes we can blame no one. inflammation of these organs may result from pressure of clothing, colds, excitement, overwork, pregnancies, excesses or neglect. the inflammation may spread to these organs from an inflamed appendix or other neighboring organs. supposing, though, following this disease the tubes are not entirely closed and the woman becomes pregnant. there is still the danger that during labor the baby's eyes will become infected and may become permanently blind. it is estimated that seventy per cent. of the blindness in the world has this cause. how does this produce blindness? some few germs of this disease have remained in the vagina or birth canal and as the baby passes along the canal they enter its eyes. they are so very strong and work so rapidly that they can cause total blindness within three days. this fact is so well known by physicians that at the present time all reliable physicians pay especial attention to the newborn baby's eyes, cleansing them with an antiseptic solution immediately after birth. this precaution doubtless has saved the eyes of thousands of babies. this is one of the reasons why it is dangerous to employ an uneducated person at the time of labor. even though she may have assisted at hundreds of births yet often she is ignorant of the many dangers and of the precautions that should be taken in every case. even adults may become blind from this infection. the disease is carried to the eyes by polluted fingers or towels. in a few hours the eyes become inflamed, pus forms, and unless heroic measures are taken, the eyesight is soon destroyed. in female children the vagina may become infected through the use of tainted sponges, wash cloths, etc. an innocent girl may thus carelessly acquire the disease. for this reason, we see how necessary it is to caution girls never to use public towels or wash cloths that have been used by another person. even in the home, every member of the family should have his exclusive towel and wash cloth. the symptoms of gonorrhoea that often are noted first are a profuse discharge from the vagina, usually creamy or yellowish in color. this discharge is of such a nature that frequently it excoriates the external parts so that they become very tender and inflamed. backache, especially across the hips, is a common accompaniment of this disease. there may be general soreness in the pelvic region. if a woman suspects she has contracted this disease, she should go immediately to some reliable physician; for at first the disease may affect only the vagina but, if neglected, may extend to the uterus and tubes. in its early stages it may be cured by prompt treatment, but the majority of women postpone treatment until it is too late. the other loathsome disease, syphilis, infects the blood and therefore all parts of the body. while under proper treatment it is not dangerous to life in the earlier years, yet the possibilities of conveying the contagion are numerous. in the second stage, which lasts for a number of weeks, the mucous patches in the mouth are a source of danger. in this stage the disease may be conveyed by a kiss or through the medium of the public drinking cup, towel, or anything that comes in contact with the virus. it may be contracted by a babe from a wet-nurse or the nurse may contract it from the babe. the most serious results of this disease appear years after its initial appearance, when the individual has been lulled into a false sense of security by long freedom from its outward symptoms. many of the obscure cases of stomach or nerve trouble may be traced to this disease. the results not only affect the man, but, should he marry and have children, his innocent babes may come into the world with an inherited taint. these children seldom live to reach adult life and their lives usually are burdensome and full of misery. they may be deformed or be continually afflicted with ulcers or other horrible manifestations of the disease. i will explain this more thoroughly when i speak of heredity. many of the disastrous effects of these diseases might have been prevented if they had been properly treated in their early stages. ignorance as to the nature and probable disastrous effects, if neglected, prevents many a person from procuring proper treatment. it is a common practice among men afflicted with these diseases to try various remedies recommended by their friends or by the druggist. it is strange that a person who would not think of trying to treat himself for smallpox or other contagious disease will do so with these diseases. with women, the cause of their neglect is a failure to realize the importance of the symptoms. unfortunately women have grown to think that various female ills are their lot in life which must be endured and regarded as a dispensation of providence instead of being considered an error in living that must be corrected the same as any other disease. some commence treatment but neglect it as soon as the noticeable symptoms have disappeared. it generally is considered among physicians that the treatment of syphilis should be continued for at least three years after contracting the disease in order to remove all traces from the blood. it is a deplorable fact that the prevalence of these diseases might have been prevented by proper instruction of young boys. no man ever willfully contracted one of these diseases. statistics tell us that the majority of victims contract them before their twentieth year, before the boy has learned anything of their dangers or perhaps of their existence. if these patients received the right treatment immediately and continued it until the disease had been eradicated the results would have been less serious. here, too, lack of early and proper instruction is shown; for these immature boys do not realize the necessity for prompt and wise treatment, or are misled by unscrupulous persons. i shall talk to you again on this subject, for many of you will have sons and you must know the dangers that beset them, so they can be prepared. chapter vi fake medical advice for women one young lady wrote me, "recently i read that imperfectly developed ovaries might be a reason why some women do not have children. i have the symptoms which the article said indicated imperfect development. does this necessarily mean that i never can have a baby? i seem to be healthy. i am twenty-one years old. i was to have been married in three months but now i do not know what to do. 'my boy' loves children as i do. it seems as though i cannot give him up, yet it surely is not honorable to marry him if i find that i never will have a little one, without telling him. please tell me what to do." the probabilities are that this girl's ovaries are perfectly normal and that the article mentioned was an advertisement of some medical house which, by misleading statements, endeavors to induce women to take their treatment. there are many women who suffer a great deal mentally, and this in turn reflects on their physical health because of just such articles. it has been said that we are a nation of dupes and the advertisements carried in some of the papers would indicate the truth of this statement. no manufacturer is going to advertise anything that does not sell well and bring a considerable profit. men are not so altruistic as to be in business just for the good of humanity. the majority are in business for the money to be obtained from it. somehow, women are very susceptible to the arts of these greedy manufacturers. a company commences to make a patent medicine and then, in order to derive any profits from the investment, large quantities of the preparation must be sold. in order to accomplish this they must convince possible buyers of their need of this particular treatment. the company employs an agent to write an advertisement, perhaps in the shape of an article purporting to be written by someone much interested in the human race. this advertisement or article describes some disease which may be cured by this one remedy. as there might not be enough people who know they have this given disease to make a profit for the manufacturer, it becomes his business to convince others that they have this disease. therefore, he proceeds to enumerate a great many symptoms which he says indicate this disease. perhaps they might! but they are just as likely to indicate any one of half a dozen other things. he details enough symptoms so that some are recognized by nearly every woman as relating to her condition, so she jumps to the conclusion that she has that certain disease and buys a bottle of the medicine. if you will study the large medical advertisements that appeal especially to women you will notice that they all have certain symptoms enumerated. no matter if the remedy advertised is for the kidneys, the bowels, or exclusively for women, the same symptoms are claimed to indicate the need of that certain remedy. one of the symptoms most commonly given is backache. of course! for nearly every person has a backache at some time. it may be due to a strain, to rheumatism of the lumbar muscles (lumbago), to constipation, to a displacement, or to numerous other conditions. no one can tell the cause who is not properly prepared to do so and who is not fully acquainted with the physical condition. the sewing machine runs hard and perhaps makes a noise. it requires a mechanic who is familiar with the mechanism of the machine to find the cause of the trouble. so it is with the human body. it requires a mechanic who is familiar with the structure of the body to discover the cause of the trouble. and yet people will continue to pour into their bodies drugs, harmless and otherwise, that are manufactured by some enterprising firm and then advertised by an expert who knows nothing of disease except a few symptoms common to almost all diseases. the patent medicine consumers seldom realize the nature of the medicine they take. because some man, desirous of selling his remedy, claims it will be beneficial, they rush in and buy. to one who knows the true nature of some of these remedies, many laughable instances are visible. one man recently discovered that a temperance agitator was daily dosing herself with a certain tonic which was known to contain a larger percentage of alcohol than did the beverages she was denouncing so ardently. patent medicines may benefit some, but in the majority of cases, the consumer is like a man who boards the nearest street-car hoping it will take him to his destination. it may! but it is just as likely to take him in the opposite direction. some people become veritable drug fiends, slaves to certain drugs without in the least realizing their condition. how many are slaves to certain laxatives or headache powders! with them the daily dose of "harmless" teas or waters or even of pills cannot be neglected. and yet such a person would be indignant at the suggestion that she was the victim of a drug habit. what are drugs, anyhow? the majority are simply extracts of herbs and vegetables. and yet people imagine that they are avoiding the use of drugs and medicines when they take "simple herb remedies, prepared at home." another lure of the advertiser is to state that all letters are "strictly confidential and answered by women only." perhaps they are! but he neglects to add that the women who answer these letters are simply stenographers with no medical knowledge, employed to write according to dictation, that the letters are all written according to certain forms which have been dictated by the manager. a short time ago a young woman wrote me regarding her condition. among other things, she said she had written to a certain woman whose name is much advertised by a patent medicine concern and that this woman had written her advice that had caused her to worry over her condition. poor, deluded girl! how was she to know that the woman in question had been dead many years and that the business was carried on by her son and other men. if you are ill do not be misled by these unscrupulous advertisers. do not waste your time and money on remedies that may be entirely unsuited to your condition. chapter vii the marriage relation as several of you expect to be married soon i think it would be well to talk briefly about the cause of so much unhappiness in marriage. it has been estimated that only about five per cent. of all marriages are successful. is this true, and if true, why? if five per cent. made a success of marriage, why could not the other ninety-five? marriage is a science to be studied by the prospective bride and groom in order that they may be ranked with the five per cent. and not make a failure of their married life. few would enter the marriage relation if convinced that it would be a failure. the prospective bride looks around among her acquaintances and sees the lack of true happiness, thinks that her case will be an exception, that her marriage will turn out all right and then goes blindly ahead into the new life without any preparation. a large percentage of the unhappiness among married couples comes through a misunderstanding of the marital relations. a great deal of this is due to ignorance on the part of the bride and thoughtlessness on the part of the husband. this is partly due to defective education during childhood in regard to the sexes. the training of boys and girls in this matter is very different. knowledge pertaining to the sexual life is talked over very freely among boys, so that by the time the boy is of a marriageable age he is pretty well posted. with girls it is quite different. it would be considered very immodest for a girl to discuss such matters. she does not feel free even to talk with her mother or other adviser, and so she goes to the altar ignorant of many things she should know. then during the first few days of married life this knowledge so overwhelms her and often gives her such a severe shock that it leaves a lasting impression. she has no way of knowing that her husband is just like other men. she is liable to regard him as a brute and resent his attentions. such a condition of affairs is altogether wrong, but the girl is not to be blamed. had she been taught what to expect, much of the unhappiness of married life might have been avoided. if taught correctly, the girl should regard the sexual act as the culmination of true love. it should be regarded as something sacred, something that makes her and her husband as one. fortunate indeed is the girl whose husband realizes this lack of knowledge and gently leads her to desire the fulfillment of love. unfortunate is the girl whose husband regards this act only as the gratification of animal passions--something it is a wife's duty to endure as such. passion or sex sense is a sign of maturity. it is the calling for a mate. all animals have this sense and nearly all animals have a mating season. the billing and cooing of the birds in the springtime is an expression of this sense--the love sense. it is possessed by every little insect. only by knowing their habits do we see the expression of it. this sense is nothing of which one should be ashamed. it was god-given for a divine purpose. in the study of plants we learn that the pollen or male element must unite with the ovum or female element in order to produce the seed that will develop into the new plant. the same fact is true of the human race. before pregnancy can take place there must be a meeting and fusion of the vital elements of the two sexes. this fertilization of the ovum or joining of the male and female elements is called conception. it is brought about by coitus, by means of which the semen of the male is deposited in the vagina of the female. this act is called insemination, although conception does not follow unless the ovum and spermatozoon (life-giving element of the semen) come together and unite. when this occurs the woman conceives and enters upon a period of pregnancy. the time at which conception is least likely to occur is from the seventeenth to the twenty-third day after menstruation ceases. during the first year of married life couples are liable to abuse the love sense by over-indulgence and thereby use up too much of their energy. this affects their health, especially that of the young wife, who finds herself always being tired and is unable to account for it. her daily tasks become a drudgery, for she is too exhausted to have the strength to perform them. after the tasks finally are finished, she is too tired to don the afternoon dress, and so easily falls into untidy habits. this brings its train of results. the young husband, on his return from work, fails to find his wife the bright, attractive girl he married and gradually grows indifferent. the relation of intercourse to conception is a problem that each husband and wife must settle for themselves. some educators claim that only for the one is the other allowable, that the bearing and raising of children is the sole aim of married life. naturally this is the fundamental end of the sex instinct. but in the present-day, practical married life it would be impossible to convince the majority that the impulse of sex gratification was given to them for this one purpose only. the sense of well being and the increased capacity for work, that follows a moderate exercise of this function, tends to convince us that it has a beneficial effect upon the entire system if exercised moderately. as to what constitutes moderation or temperance depends upon the individual. what would be moderation to some would be excess to others. it may be taken as a general rule that the after-effects will indicate the amount. if the after-effects are irritability, extreme lassitude or a diminution of the love or respect for the other then there has been excess. if the after-effect is a sense of well-being so that the next day one feels more inclined to take up the duties of life, then it may be considered that moderation has been practiced. a certain amount of energy is consumed in any act and, as in our present age we need a great deal of energy to carry on our everyday business, in the majority of cases fresh vitality cannot be spared for an expenditure under several days or a week. excess in anything tends to bring on premature old age, for the nervous force is expended faster than it is manufactured. frequently women seem to be endowed with an excess of energy which manifests itself in various forms. besides this, the woman does not seem to have control of her nervous energy but wastes it in numerous ways. with many a woman the regularity and moderation attendant on a happy married life seems to have a regulating effect upon her whole nervous system, so that she becomes more calm and has greater control over her energies. wrong training or lack of training in matters pertaining to the relationship of the sexes and to the management of a home may be given as the cause of the majority of unhappy marriages. there must be something wrong with our system of education when the aim of this education seems to be to prepare the girl for a temporary position in an office or store or for a gay social life; and when there is no preparation for the important work of home-making and the rearing of children. a girl would not be expected to run a complicated and delicate piece of machinery without having adequate instruction concerning the necessary care of it. but the girl is allowed to go blindly into marriage and is expected to manage her home and care for her children with practically no preparation. nowadays we require experts for every position except that of motherhood, but we apparently do not consider that of enough importance to waste any time preparing for it. a man requires his gardener or office assistant to be trained, but the mother of his children need know nothing regarding the preparation for their coming. too often her only preparation is that of making numerous clothes. she takes no measures to insure a healthy child. if girls would make a study of home-making and motherhood and enter into marriage with a more definite realization of its obligations we would have fewer unhappy marriages and fewer divorce cases. some women, owing to false education, wish to have all the advantages of marriage without assuming its cares. such a woman expects a man to be willing to provide her with all the gifts of the gods, with all the luxuries of life, but in return is not willing to become the mother of his children nor to exert herself to make their mutual habitation a home and not merely a house--a place in which to eat and sleep. a large part of the average woman's life is devoted to home-making and the rearing of children. usually she is poorly prepared for this work. the early years of a girl's life are spent in the acquisition of a store of general knowledge, especially that derived from books and related to subjects generally considered necessary to "culture." during this period, her time is so occupied with her studies that her mother thinks it would be an imposition to ask her to do any housework, so the girl grows up without much knowledge of the care of a home. true, she often is enabled to do a few things. she learns to make cake and several varieties of candy and perhaps can fashion a collar that is the envy of her schoolmates. sometimes she even helps her mother with the dishes or the dusting, but it is easier for the mother to take the responsibility of the housekeeping than it is to teach her daughter to do so, and besides her daughter always is so busy with school affairs. she has no time in which to learn the science of housekeeping. after the completion of her course in the common or high school, a few months, sometimes, are devoted to the preparation for a certain line of work which is to occupy her time for a few years. very few girls, except those who enter the professions, expect to continue their work after marriage and nearly all look forward to marriage. if we place a girl at a new occupation, for instance lace-making, and let her work out her own salvation, we would not be surprised if she disliked her work and was unable to accomplish any good results. but that is what we do in regard to home-making. a girl upon marriage is expected to know by instinct how to keep house, cook, and do the numerous other household duties; she is expected to know how to care for herself before the birth of her baby and how to care for the baby when it comes. fortunately for the future generation this fact has come to the realization of many of our educators. during the last few years many schools have introduced into their curriculum, courses in domestic science, including the purchasing, preparation and serving of food. very recently some of the more progressive schools have introduced courses in nursing and the care of young babies. perhaps in a few years motherhood will take its proper place as the most important of all sciences. chapter viii embryology--the development of life you remember i mentioned that at various times during the month an ovum or egg leaves the ovary and passes along the tube to the uterus. here it remains if it is impregnated or fertilized by a union with the spermatozoon or male element. the whole body of the babe is developed from the ovum or female element after it has been fertilized by the spermatozoon or male element. the union usually takes place in the tube. the spermatozoon, after being deposited in the vagina, travels to the mouth of the womb, then up through the womb into one of the tubes. here it meets the ovum and unites with it, then the impregnated ovum continues on its way to the uterus. it attaches itself to the lining of the womb by little thread-like filaments which it projects. the ovum then begins to grow, dividing itself into portions that go to make the different parts of the body. before i continue, let me remind you that the ovum in the beginning is only about as large as the point of a pin, being about - of an inch in diameter, while the spermatozoon is so tiny it cannot be seen without the aid of a miscroscope. therefore, it can be realized how much the ovum has to grow before it becomes a fully formed babe. during the time the ovum is developing into the babe we speak of it first as the embryo, then the foetus. it takes about nine calendar months or ten lunar months before the foetus is fully developed and ready to be expelled from the womb. during the process of development the foetus resembles various animals. it seems it must pass through about the same stages of evolution that our primitive ancestors did. by the end of the third week, the dividing has progressed so far that the body is quite well indicated. by the end of the seventh week the body and limbs are quite well defined. one peculiar thing is that, at this time, the foetus has a tail which disappears during the next two weeks. during the third month the foetus increases in size and weight so that by the end of the month the weight is four ounces and the length two and three-fourths inches. it now is not directly attached to the lining of the womb but is attached by means of the cord to the placenta or afterbirth which has been forming slowly. this placenta consists of fatty tissue surrounding a great many little blood vessels. the tiny blood vessels lie so close to the blood vessels of the lining of the womb that the blood passes from one to the other. to do this, it must pass through the walls of the blood vessels, as the vessels of the mother and those of the placenta are not directly united. the blood vessels of the placenta unite to form two veins and one artery which lie very close to each other and are surrounded by a membrane. these three blood vessels united together form what we call the cord. the other end of the cord is attached to the foetus so that the blood can flow back and forth between the foetus and placenta. by the end of the third month the limbs have definite shape, the nails being almost perfectly formed. during the next month the sexual distinctions of the external organs become well marked. by the last of the fifth month the weight has increased to one pound and the length to eight inches. active foetal movements begin, that is, the foetus begins to move around and not lie quietly as before. this is what is usually spoken of as "feeling life," or as "quickening." there is life from the very beginning but during the first four or five months the foetus does not move about and so the mother does not "feel life." this has caused the erroneous idea that there is no life before the fifth month. by the end of the sixth month the weight is two pounds and the length twelve inches. the eyebrows and eyelashes have begun to grow and the lobule of the ear is more characteristic. by the end of the seventh month the weight is three pounds and the length fourteen inches. the surface of the body, which has appeared wrinkled, now appears more smooth owing to the increase of fat underneath. by the end of the eighth month the weight is four to five pounds and the length twenty inches. the nails have grown to project beyond the finger tips. up to this time the body has been covered with a fine hair called lanugo. this now has begun to disappear and the skin becomes brighter and is covered with a white, cheesy material called the vernix caseosa. this almost entirely disappears during the next month, but frequently there are portions of it remaining on the body at the time of birth. the foetus is fully developed by the end of the ninth month. then its average weight is six or seven pounds and the length twenty inches. if we could look into the womb just before the time of labor we would find the foetus attached by the cord to the placenta and floating in a sac of water. this sac is formed partly of the placenta and partly of the membrane; the side of the placenta opposite to the child being attached to the womb. just before labor the child takes a position with its head downward, its lower limbs flexed and its arms folded upon its breast. this allows it to come in the usual way, head first. but sometimes, for various reasons, it does not take this position and some part other than the head, for instance, the feet, may be born first. labor pains are caused by the contraction of the muscles of the womb in an effort to expel the foetus. the muscles, contracting, push the foetus downward to the mouth of the womb but push ahead of it a portion of the membrane enclosing some of the water. this is called the "bag of waters." as it presses against the mouth of the womb it causes it to dilate so as to allow the foetus to pass through into the vagina. the foetus, preceded by the bag of waters, then descends through the vagina or birth canal until it comes to the external opening of the vagina. this it must dilate before it can pass through it. the bag of waters should rupture normally while it is being pushed through the external opening. sometimes the bag does not rupture directly in front of the descending head but further up along the side. then a portion of the membrane may be over the face of the child when it is born. this is what is called being "born with a veil" or "born with a caul." the bag of waters helps dilate the parts much easier than the foetus could do it alone. when the bag breaks the water lubricates the parts so as to make the passage of the child easier. when it breaks, as it sometimes does, at the beginning of labor we have what is termed a "dry labor." this usually is much slower than it would be otherwise. the majority of the cases of labor extend over a period of from twelve to twenty-four hours. sometimes the external opening of the vagina does not dilate enough to allow the passage of the child. as the head presses hard against the perineum it tears it. this tear should be repaired immediately after completion of labor. when the baby is born it is fully formed but its lungs have never contained air. at the first cry the air rushes into the lungs and expands them. at birth there is a change in the circulation of the blood of the baby. before this time, the blood has passed to and from the placenta through the cord but now this is stopped. before birth there was an opening between the right and left sides of the heart but this closes during the first few days of the child's life. to assist in this closure, it is wise to keep the child on its right side for a few days. rarely, this opening never closes and we have what is called a "blue baby," which seldom lives very long. in a great many cases, painless childbirth could be a possibility by a little attention to diet, exercise and other hygienic measures during the last few months of pregnancy. knowing this, it seems inconceivable that any woman would neglect to so fully inform herself on these matters that both she and her child could have all benefit of the investigations of science. chapter ix abortions sometimes through an accident or on account of disease, the womb expels the foetus before it is fully developed. if this occurs before the end of the third month we call it an abortion; if it occurs between the third and seventh months we call it a miscarriage; while if it occurs after the seventh month but before the normal time of labor we call it a premature labor. formerly it was considered that there was no possibility of the child living if it were born before the seventh month. now, by the aid of incubators, even those born at five months have a chance to live. by that time the body is fully formed, so the chief requirements are a steady temperature and proper care and food. great care must be exercised, as a slight cooling of the air may result in the death of the babe. abortions are either accidental, criminal, or justifiable, that is, brought on to preserve the life of the mother. accidental abortions may follow a sudden fall or a sudden shock, either mental or physical, to the mother. they may be due to some disease either of the mother or of the foetus. of the diseases responsible for abortions the one with the largest percentage is syphilis. it is estimated that this disease is responsible for forty per cent. of accidental abortions and miscarriages. whenever a physician has for a patient a woman who gives a history of having had several abortions without any apparent cause and all at about the same age of the foetus, he immediately becomes suspicious of syphilis either of the father or the mother. it is a peculiar fact with this disease that it may be transmitted to the offspring without the mother ever actually having the disease. this is an instance of "visiting the sins of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation." many a weak frame owes its condition to a dissipated father, grandfather or even great-grandfather. it is possible, though, for a man or woman who has had this disease to have a healthy child if the disease has been properly treated. under some circumstances, especially with a deformed pelvis, if pregnancy were allowed to proceed normally it probably would result in the death of the mother. then, it is considered justifiable for the physician in charge of the case to produce an abortion in order to save the life of the mother. those cases are rare and such a procedure never is undertaken except in extreme cases. criminal abortions are those brought on simply because the woman does not desire to have a child. these often are produced by the woman herself by means of drugs that set up uterine contractions (labor pains) or by means of something introduced into the uterus. in either case it is a dangerous procedure. infections may be carried into the uterus by means of whatever is introduced into it. this may set up an inflammation that may result in the death of the woman. it is a dangerous procedure to introduce anything into the womb. some women are extremely foolish or reckless and use anything that may be handy. sometimes grave harm results. instances are on record of women who have punctured the walls of the womb by the use of hatpins or other sharp instruments. if an abortion is produced by either drugs or instruments there is danger that all the products of conception may not come away. if even a small portion remains in the uterus it may cause a hemorrhage or, becoming decomposed, produce a poison that may result in the death of the woman. it would be impossible to estimate the number of abortions performed on unmarried girls, as well as married women, during one year by midwives, unscrupulous physicians and by many respected family physicians. we never hear of one of these except through the occasional one who is so unfortunate as to meet death. we cannot entirely blame the one who performs the abortion. sometimes it is performed because of the sympathy of the physician. it is very hard to refuse some cases. let me read you a letter to illustrate my meaning. "i have just finished reading your article on 'woman's inhumanity to woman' and wish to say that every word impresses the truth as read. my reason for writing you is because i am one of those who have sinned through love, with one i have known all my life only to find too late that he did not love me; and the sin is killing me. i do not want to bring into this world a little child to have no father. i am not bad at heart. my only hope is to get something that will bring me all right. if you are a doctor you can give me medicine that will help me miscarry this, as i have only missed two months. nothing would please me more than to be the mother of a little one, but, oh, not one born without a name. dear madam, if you can help me, or show me some way that my people cannot suspect me of this sin, for the love you bear all girls, help me. i am the only one at home to care for an aged father and one of the dearest brothers that ever lived. if he knew i had sinned as i have, it would break his heart. my god in heaven, help me! is my prayer, and through his love you can help me. i am almost desperate and before i will live and bear this sin i will take my own life, which will bar me from heaven and my angel mother's face. be gracious, kind doctor, and help me. i will repay you if it takes the remainder of my life and give my solemn promise that i will sin no more. erring through the love of a man is my only excuse and, oh, i am the one to bear the blame. he would be forgiven. i am so nervous and ruined in mind that i hardly can go about my duties and i cannot stand the strain much longer. let me hear from you at once and please help me, for i know it can be done, but i am ignorant; i do not know what to get or what to do. it will be no sin to try to get all right and not bear a child, but in my thoughts it is something awful to have to have it. for the love of heaven help a heartbroken girl at once and before it is too late for me to regain my chance of heaven." now suppose you were a physician and that girl, instead of being a stranger, was a very dear friend who had come to you in your office, would you not be tempted to grant her wishes? that is the position in which every physician is placed a great many times. some allow their sympathies to rule and so break the laws of the land. they allow their sympathies to overcome the moral truths that previously had been their guide. they commit a crime by taking a life, even though that life were not fully developed. many women have the false idea that there is no life before the fifth month and so think they are not destroying life if they have an abortion at the end of the first, the second or even the third month. this idea is entirely erroneous, for there is life from the very beginning and it is just as wrong to destroy life the first few months as it would be to do so later. aside from this moral reason there is a very important reason for not having abortions. you may regret it afterwards! let me give you an instance. one of my friends, a charming young woman, was married several years ago. after her marriage she moved to a distant city and i did not see her for about four years. then she returned and called to see me. during the course of our conversation i asked her if she had any children. her reply in a very sad tone was, "no, i guess i did too much interfering at first, so now i cannot have any." then she told me she had the idea she did not wish to have children for several years after she was married. so during the first year she had an abortion performed. now for two years she had been wanting a baby but none came. that is the history of so many women. the regrets! all women naturally desire to have children. if they do not, they are the victims of false ideas or of fear. anything which is natural is the best, so usually a woman who bears children is much healthier than one who does not. think of the women of your acquaintance and see if the mothers are not happier and healthier than the women who are childless. chapter x maternal impressions--heredity every child has a right to be born well. an undesired child never should be brought into the world. an undesired child or a child of parents who are not in good bodily or mental condition comes into the world with an inheritance that perhaps never is overcome. how can we expect children of parents with criminal tendencies to become good citizens? children born in circumstances under which the expectant mother has been subjected to fright or to cruel treatment are handicapped in the very beginning of life's race. maternal impressions from fright or physical violence undoubtedly are followed by the birth of individuals malformed and in many respects with altered minds. although some biologists try to deny this, the coincidence is too widely observed to admit of doubt, although the precise manner in which the effect is produced has not been clearly demonstrated. sufficient is known to make it of the utmost importance that, in the interest of her offspring, the expectant mother be not subjected to sudden or violent mechanical force or to any great nervous shock. equally important is it that she should be surrounded by a harmonious environment in order to give the unborn child all possible benefit of such surroundings. by many it is claimed that the mother's mental condition during this period will be reflected in the child both mentally and physically. for instance if the mother be calm, free from worry and happy in anticipation of the coming event, her offspring will have a sound nervous system, shown by a perfect digestion and an excellent disposition: while if the mother be irritable and unhappy her child is inclined to have various digestive ills, as well as to be cross and restless. great disturbances in the expectant mother's health also have their effect upon the child. the erroneous idea that there is no life before the third or fifth month allows many conscientious women to attempt measures that will cause the discharge of the products of conception. these measures not only are dangerous to the health or the life of the woman but, in the event of their proving unsuccessful, may result in the birth of a deformed or a mentally defective child. parents who have become degenerate from the immoderate use of alcohol or other stimulants or those who are afflicted with one of the black plagues furnish further examples of the birth of deficient offspring. the question of heredity has received considerable attention during recent years. as a result, many of our pet theories have undergone a decided change. many of the diseases which formerly were thought to be acquired through inheritance we now know to be contracted through lack of care or through association. the only inheritance is possibly a tendency to the disease or a decrease in the power of resistance. it is a law of pathology that the diseases of parents who suffer from certain serious chronic maladies create in the offspring a condition of defective life shown in malformations or in altered nutrition. the hereditary influence of most diseases is shown in the transmission to the child of a defective body shown by feebleness or a diminished power of resisting disease. in tuberculosis and other diseases that once were considered hereditary, this influence is shown probably only in a predisposition to the disease which under favorable circumstances finds an easy condition of growth. the child does not actually inherit the disease and if placed in favorable surroundings will outgrow the tendency, will overcome the feeble vitality. but such a child if allowed to remain with its parent, to breathe the germs of disease cast off by the parent, readily contracts the disease. for the sake of the child it must be separated from its tubercular parent. it must be given fresh air and nourishing food. there is one disease, though, that seems to be truly inherited: the worst of the black plagues, syphilis. this may be inherited from either parent, it frequently is inherited from the father even though the mother does not contract the disease. this inheritance seems to manifest itself chiefly in a disordered nutrition. even during the first few months of development, this may be so effective as to destroy life. you remember, i mentioned this when i talked about abortions. if life is not destroyed, the nutritional processes may be so affected that the pregnancy will result in the birth of a defective child. these children, perhaps fortunately, usually die during the first few months of their lives. seldom do they live to maturity. many children who seem to have escaped this inherited trait really have not done so, but their inheritance is not recognized. some people with defective generative organs owe this to a diseased parent. others suffering from a chronic skin disorder, and many afflicted with epilepsy or some brain malformation could trace their inheritance to the same source. this disease seems truly to be an instance of "visiting the sins of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation." there is no doubt that the general health of the child is affected by the health of the mother especially during the period when the child is nourished from the mother's blood. attention to such matters as diet, sleep and exercise certainly has a great influence upon the constitution of the unborn child. the best heritage a mother can give her child is a strong constitution, and in order to do this she must make motherhood a science. chapter xi childless homes and real homes--causes of sterility whatever may be the motive that causes men and women to enter into matrimony, the social reason is the perpetuation of the human race. herbert spencer says, "the welfare of the family underlies the welfare of society." therefore those who marry for convenience or with the avowed intention of not assuming the obligations of parenthood have not the welfare of the human race at heart and are a menace to society in its highest form. childless homes are not the happy homes, anyhow! their occupants usually are dissatisfied; the women are nervous, irritable and unhappy; the men are seeking happiness elsewhere. the homes childless from choice should receive our condemnation, but the homes childless from necessity should receive our commiseration. the latter are much more prevalent than many of our race suicide agitators would admit. these are too prone to blame the woman for what is not her choice. we hear so much about the higher education of women promoting race suicide. a recent investigation carried on by a well-known magazine has proven that such is not the case. the college girls and the professional women desire children much more than do the factory girls. but these college girls realize that quality is as necessary as quantity. they do not desire to bring into the world weak, puny offspring. these college girls are beginning to make motherhood a science. what the results will be we can only anticipate. a normal woman, who has not become imbued with false ideas and fear, desires children. she realizes that motherhood, if rightly carried out, is a privilege and not a curse; it is the woman who has been falsely educated who dreads motherhood. this morning i received a letter which shows the prevailing attitude of many girls. the writer says: "i am twenty-two years of age but strange to say i am ignorant as far as knowledge about the origin of life, etc., is concerned. i am a business girl, drawing a good salary, and have many gentleman and lady friends. i am the oldest child of a large family of moderate means and have been brought up under christian principles and possess a goodly amount of common sense. i long have been anxious in regard to this important subject but never have asked anyone for advice, shuddering to do so, feeling that if i had a chance to ask a lady with knowledge, as a nurse or some such person, i would do so. but to tell the truth, i did not care to find out such things, but i realize the fact that i must know in order to guard myself; for that is something no one can do for me at a critical moment. i have no less than three gentleman admirers, but i have no desire to be a married woman for a long time to come, but i feel that i must be armed with the knowledge of right and wrong. i shudder on account of _fear_ to think of becoming a mother. i hear so much of woman's pains and aches and the such, that i often think i would prefer to remain single all my life, although i am perfectly healthy and a happy, cheerful girl. my mother is, and always will be, too busy to tell me about such matters, although i had a right to know long ago. as you say, an ignorant, innocent girl would be guilty before the world if something wrong should happen to her and in most cases it is not her fault. can you give me the desired information or can you recommend some good book? if so, i assure you that your efforts will be greatly appreciated." this letter certainly indicates that the writer has a good amount of common sense. the trouble is she has become over-impressed with the possibilities of pain, and never has been told the wonderful truths that would overcome this fear. if love is the greatest thing in the world, fear and its companion, worry, certainly are the greatest curses of humanity. and the most pitiful part is that this fear and worry usually result from ignorance which a little instruction at the right time could dispel so easily. it is the unknown things that we fear. when any trouble actually comes we find strength enough to meet it, and, anyway, it usually is not half as bad in the reality as in the prospect. young girls hear so much about the pains of childbirth that this fear overshadows the natural longings for motherhood. it is not until motherhood is an actual fact that they realize the happiness is worth all the cost. but this fear is not what actually makes many childless homes. they often are unpremeditated. a large percentage of the sterility in the world is due to the results of indiscretions that are the outcome of ignorance. one great factor in childless homes is the prevalence of the black plagues. it is estimated that forty-five per cent. of sterile marriages are due to that seemingly mild disease which is regarded as no worse than a cold and which has been contracted either by the man or the woman. this disease does not disqualify the woman alone, as was formerly thought, for recent investigations have proven that twenty-five per cent. of the sterile marriages are due to sterility of the male. oh, the innumerable women who have submitted to unpleasant treatments and even operations in the hope of overcoming sterility when all the time the fault was elsewhere! the microscope has proven that even though a man may seemingly be healthy and capable of sustaining the marriage relation, yet his efforts are valueless; for the spermatozoa, the life-giving element, are dead, due usually to an inflammation which accompanied an attack of this seemingly mild disease,--gonorrhoea. this disease is responsible for many of the one child marriages. how often we see a family with only one child, this child born during the first year of married life, then there are no more pregnancies. the woman probably has contracted a disease from her husband and, during the period immediately following the birth of her baby when the entire generative system is in a condition to easily become inflamed, the tubes have become closed. another pregnancy is very unlikely. another factor in sterility is abortions. so many times we hear a young married woman say, "i do not want a child the first year, but after that i would like one." in order to carry out her desires it is not uncommon for an abortion to be performed during the first few months. in many cases an inflammation follows this interference and the tubes become closed permanently. then when the woman is ready to have a child it is impossible. girls about to enter marriage should be cognizant of this possibility and not take any risks, for few women would do anything voluntarily that would condemn them to childless lives. chapter xii prevention of pregnancy this morning i received a letter which says in part, "i am a young school teacher and do not know lots i should, but will come to you for advice. now i am engaged to the dearest boy in the world. i will do my best to be a good wife and do my duty. but my health is not so very good and i want to put off motherhood for awhile. will you kindly tell me some remedy that will keep me from becoming pregnant? i have long wanted to ask someone but always was afraid. mother never tells me anything." this is the type of question that is asked every physician many times. those who do not ask, wish to--and blame physicians for not telling the things they want to know. what is my answer to such a question? just this: there is in effect a federal statute making it a felony punishable by $ , fine and five years at hard labor to impart any information _whatever_ relating to the preventing of conception. the information may concern a thing, an instrument, or it need not be any material substance at all--only a "method." i obey that law as i am not foolhardy enough to walk into absolute danger. every day we see examples of heart-breaking misery caused by lack of knowledge of the proper means of prevention. the limitation of the number of offspring has become an important problem to be considered. there are thousands of families that would be perfectly happy if the number of offspring could be limited. there are thousands of young men who would be glad to get married but are afraid to do so for fear of having a family larger than they could supply with the necessities of life. these same young men, because they are not married, frequent questionable houses and often contract one or more of the venereal diseases. there are thousands of women who have become semi-invalids because of a too prolific offspring. the babies came so fast the mother had no opportunity to regain her health and strength. there are other thousands of women who are made invalids because of attempts at abortion, or have been driven into early graves by these attempts, while some have actually killed themselves. there are thousands of children half starved because their parents are unable to supply them the necessities of life. there are other thousands of children below par mentally and physically because of the fact that the mother was weak from too frequent child-bearing. there are other thousands of children born of syphilitic, tubercular or epileptic parents who never should have been born at all because they came into life so handicapped and had to fight against such severe odds that they, after a brief struggle, met an early death. there are children brought into this world amidst cursing who never hear much else. we find it necessary to regulate the parentage of our domestic animals in order to insure a good race. but children can come by chance. the most degraded of men is allowed to beget children of his kind. there is small chance for race improvement under such conditions. the same laws hold true as to the future generation of humans as are true of animals or plants. human beings are not mere animals and they should be allowed to decide how many children they should have. furthermore, the present laws do not attain their object. we all pretend to obey the laws but everyone knows that in every city there are many women, and men also, who make an excellent income from performing abortions. i would venture to say that in chicago alone there is at least one abortion performed every hour--and chicago is not so very different from other parts of the country in this respect. the ways and means to prevent pregnancy are sold and are bringing a rich reward to their manufacturers. but the advertisements are so carefully worded that the law is not violated. but the interested understand. if the manufacturer or his agent were accused of selling anything to prevent pregnancy, he would simulate great surprise and possible indignation. he doing such a thing! impossible! why, he is selling a simple hygienic device or drug used in the treatment of certain diseases. if we have laws, let us obey them; but if we do not intend to obey them, let us stop being hypocrites and remove them from the statutes. if the law remains let us make it far-reaching enough to include those who now are so flagrantly violating it. but if means for the prevention of pregnancy are necessary to the health and happiness of the human race, let us change the laws so we can have the best of these preventives and allow reputable physicians to give whatever information they can to prevent this wholesale misuse of a law by the unscrupulous,--the law-breakers. a recent investigation carried on by one magazine proved that the knowledge of how to prevent conception would not mean race suicide, as some fear. as reported in this magazine, the college girls and professional women who no doubt had given these subjects careful consideration, desired children more than did those whose experience had been a poor home and a large family. the average number of children desired by the well-informed woman was four. that would not mean race-suicide! it would mean that children were given a fair start in life by being desired and planned for before their conception. every true woman desires a home and children but she does not wish to be driven into motherhood. every true man desires a family but he does not feel justified in bringing children into the world to be half starved and with no advantages of education. what is the solution of the problem? chapter xiii some of the causes of divorce until our marriage laws are so adjusted that there are no unequal marriages, the question of divorce always will be eminent. the ever present agitation about uniform divorce laws and the divorce problem cannot be settled until there are more stringent marriage laws. trying to settle the divorce question without first settling the marriage question is like trying to keep chickens in a small yard surrounded by enticing fields without first constructing an adequate fence. divorce is the concession of society to its inability to solve the marriage problem. anyone can get married! mere children can meet on a pleasure excursion and in a moment of fun or infatuation walk over to a justice of the peace and be married. in some states not even a license is necessary. a large proportion of the marriages in the world are consummated without a proper consideration on the part of either bride or groom as to the responsibilities of the marriage state. many of the marriages are made simply as a matter of convenience--in order to inherit property, for social position or in a spirit of pique. such marriages are not natural marriages and are in violation of the right spirit of the law of marriage. the much quoted saying, "what god hath joined together, let no man put asunder," surely does not apply to these marriages; for that very admission would be a condemnation of the wisdom of god. he surely never would give his sanction to many of the marriages contracted in a spirit of lust or of greed. it is as impossible to keep mismated people together as it is to keep chemical incompatibles together. no chemist would try to keep chlorate of potash and sulphur together even if they did, by some accident, happen to be in the same locality. it is just as impossible to keep two incompatible people together and not expect an explosion. the law may keep such people legally bound, but it cannot keep them so mentally or physically. a prominent reformer is reported to have said that fully one-third of the married population of new york city is unfaithful to the physical obligation. and new york is not so very different from other parts of the country. many who are not physically disloyal are mentally so. the no-divorce law will not prevent this condition of affairs. whites and blacks cannot marry legally in the south and yet in some of the southern states which have a no-divorce system a large proportion of the colored population is _mulatto_. nature's laws tend to provide an indissoluble union, but divorce represents the protest of the individual against the inharmonious relations he ignorantly or thoughtlessly has assumed. even those who are the loudest in their condemnation of divorce could not sanction marriage under certain conditions. i wonder if these people know that many of the divorces that are granted under the head of cruelty really are granted because one of the parties has contracted one of the loathsome black plagues. no humane person could condemn a woman for refusing to live with a man and take the almost certain risk of contracting a disease that would mean her death or mutilation, or for refusing to bear children that would come into the world an object of disgust and horror or which would die before being born. some of these reformers say, "let her live separately from him but not marry again." that would be condemning an innocent woman to a childless life because she had been so unfortunate as to become bound to a dissipated man. another underlying but often unknown factor in many of the divorce cases is sterility. in some states the law says this is a just cause for divorce, because the future of the nation depends on the production of children. because a woman, in her ignorance, has married a man who is incapable of producing healthy offspring, due to his having "sown his wild oats," should not be a reason why she should be condemned to forego the pleasures of motherhood. because a man has married a woman who is sterile or who selfishly refuses to bear children should not be a reason why he should be denied an heir. again, it is unfair to the future generation to compel mismated couples to live together. children brought into the world under such conditions are bequeathed a heritage that will have a demoralizing effect upon their whole after life. children, who every day hear quarrels and strife between those they should honor, lose something of the beauty of life; they become hardened and quarrelsome. of course these divorces must not be granted promiscuously; for in bringing children into the world, parents assume an obligation that cannot be neglected. in considering a separation, the parents' first thought should be, "what is best for my children?" the duty to the children should be settled first. then the question comes, "what is my duty to my wife or my husband?" for the act of making any contract imposes certain obligations. the individual circumstances must settle what these obligations are. last comes the question, "what is my duty to myself? i was placed in this world to make the best use of my life. am i doing it or is it impossible to do so unless i change my environment and associates?" the conscience of the individual should be the guide now. were there more frankness and sincerity in discussing the problems and conditions of married life before marriage much unhappiness would be avoided and there would be fewer divorces; for many engaged people would thus discover they were mismated before the marriage ceremony. to reach a complete understanding is the main purpose of the engagement period. marriage is not a lottery nor a game of chance to the man and woman entering it with a knowledge of sex relations and with absolute mutual honesty. chapter xiv the need of early instruction of girls dr. charles w. eliot, former president of harvard university, recently said: "the subject of reproduction and sexual hygiene should be more generally presented to young people by parents and teachers. i am convinced that the policy of silence has failed disastrously." that you may understand how widely spread is this desire on the part of women for a better knowledge of themselves and of those things so vitally important to the welfare of the future generation, i shall quote a few extracts from letters i have received from women in various parts of the country. these letters, too, will serve to show the woeful ignorance along these lines among even the well educated women, and also the need for some systematic instruction. a very intelligent girl from south dakota writes this heart story: "my mother died when i was a babe. after her death i was sent out among strangers. while away from home and before i was _six_ years old a young fellow about fifteen years old possessed me and threatened to do something terrible to me if i told. i did not dare tell. luckily i was taken home at that time, as i now had a step-mother. but still more horrible, it also happened that i had immoral relations with my brother. when i found out that this was the way people got babies, i wished i could get one. i was not very old before i understood that this was a wrong and a shame and acted accordingly. my parents never mentioned things of this nature to me. how much better it would have been if they had done so when we were real young. how many things were spoken of by schoolmates and told in the dirtiest possible way and things also were said that i now know were entirely wrong." i cannot impress upon you too strongly the need of early talks with young children on these matters. as soon as they enter school at the age of six and even before this, in some cases, they are bound to hear these things from their playmates. usually the information is thrust upon the child in a very vulgar manner, or entirely wrong impressions are given. the very secrecy that always has surrounded these subjects makes them an object of interest to children. the functions of the generative organs are just as natural a process as the process of digestion. we make no secret of the process of digestion, and children do not manifest any morbid curiosity regarding it. if we would discuss the functions of the generative organs in just as natural a way, many of our great problems would right themselves. a woman in one of the western states writes, "once i had a heated argument upon that subject with another woman. she always had lived in a small community. in her opinion all city girls were morally depraved. she had two daughters of her own. both girls gave birth to babies at the age of fourteen and sixteen years. it transpired later that these girls first began the evil practice at school. and i will state here, regardless of contradiction, that the village school is often the breeder of immoral characters among both boys and girls. "in a small farming community of california containing about forty children of school age, it was discovered that immoral practices had been carried on for years among the older children. one little girl, being new to the school and also being in the habit of telling her mother everything, repeated some of the sights she had seen during the recess and noon hours, and also some of the conversation she had heard among the children. the mother, being horrified at the child's revelations and knowing the child must have some foundation for her stories, told a friend about it. this woman told some of her friends who were the mothers of the children the little girl had named to her mother. of course, the children were questioned and denied all knowledge of things the child had mentioned. the mothers were indignant that their children should be accused of anything like that. they unquestionably believed the denial, making no effort to find out if there might be any truth in the report. that mother and her little one were 'sent to coventry' with a vengeance. later some of these mothers had cause to repent of their carelessness in having neglected or disregarded the warning. they found to their sorrow that the little girl was not telling an untruth, after all. "the trouble with the mother in the small community is that she judges her children by her own past. she, perhaps, had an entirely different environment from that of her children and because she came out all right, naturally sees no use in bothering about talking to her girls. 'they will learn these things soon enough,' she says when the subject is mentioned. that they either already have learned them or may be learning them in a manner of which she would be the last to approve, she does not take into consideration. an attempt to warn such a mother often is misunderstood." that young women realize their need and are anxious for any help is shown by these letters. from new york a girl writes, "i am twenty-two years of age and as yet know nothing about the mysteries of life, and i am beginning to worry about it as i am keeping company with a young man and expect to become engaged to him. i know nothing of what is expected of me when i get married and i know there are a number of girls just like me and that they are worried, too." from a girl in seattle came this letter, "no one ever told me about this wonderful body of ours and that god made it in his likeness for his glorification. when i asked where the babies came from, i was told the doctor brought them in his case. one day i saw a boy and girl about eight years of age doing wrong, and thought nothing of it when my brother, who was fourteen while i was six, proposed that we do likewise. this was kept up until i was somewhere between eleven and thirteen, when i was converted and it occurred to me that this was not the right thing to do, but i never dreamed that i would suffer so these ten years, as i am twenty-three now. only in the last few years i have learned how god made these organs for the marriage relation only and how life was formed. i would go to my mother for this information but i know it would break her heart and i am afraid she could not tell me what i want to know. i would not write this but i am deeply in love with a christian man, and i could not marry anyone until i know about this matter. i often have made a vow i never would marry anyone, but this love came to me before i could help myself, and as he told me of his love i would not allow myself to let him know i care as much as i do. kindly tell me if anyone who has abused her organs while so young could make a good wife or become a mother, and can these marks of sin be removed?" another young girl writes, "it is just as you say, ignorance is the root of evil in many cases such as mine. i have come to you for help, information and advice. i have taken that fatal mis-step you write about, but no one knows it besides myself and this man. he dare not speak of this. he is very wealthy and influential. after reading your article i found that you were the one to go to and make a confession. i never have been warned or told of these dangers and now it is too late. i am a young girl, eighteen years old, and have a lot of men friends because i am considered attractive, but none of them have ever said one word out of the way to me except this one and i yielded to the tempter. i know i have done wrong, and now am trying to atone for it by being awfully good. now, what i want to know and want you to tell me is this, 'can i ever marry a decent, respectable man without him knowing of this affair?' there is a young man very much devoted to me (and i can assure you it is mutual) who several times has asked me to marry him. i am afraid to give him an answer. i cannot ask anyone else this question for the simple reason that i am not sure whether they will tell me the truth or whether they really know." both these girls were fortunate that they did not have any serious consequences from their mis-step. too many girls make only one mis-step and as a result become pregnant or else contract one of the black plagues. this week i have received several such letters. laying aside all moral points, it is too much risk for any girl to run. unfortunately a great many girls in their ignorance do make a mis-step. that is no reason why they should not marry. we must take into consideration the fact that the young man in question probably has made several of these mis-steps. he should not expect his prospective wife to be any stronger to resist temptation than he has been. if this were an ideal world, all men, as well as all women, would be pure, but until the millennium comes we must take things as they are, and proceed from that standpoint. but because a girl has erred through ignorance is no reason why she should be doomed to everlasting punishment in the shape of social ostracism or being denied the happiness of having a home and children. these are only a few of the many letters i have received, but they serve to show the great need of early instruction of girls on these much neglected subjects. every girl, soon after she enters school if not before, learns where babies come from. she too often is led by older children, both boys and girls, to do things she may regret later. it has been said that "sin is but ignorance." this is true in the great majority of cases of immoral practices among girls as well as among boys. the remedy for these sins, then, is to do away with the ignorance by proper instruction of children. children are reasonable beings and if they understood the _why_ would not do wrong. if girls go wrong through ignorance the parents are to blame; for at the present time there is no excuse for a parent not giving the necessary instruction. if, on account of her own lack of knowledge, the mother feels incapable of instructing her daughter, there are others ready and willing to aid her; also, there are books especially prepared for her help, which will definitely point the way. chapter xv why girls go astray not long ago an estimable young woman in speaking of the unfortunate girls in the world said, "i cannot see how any refined girl could get into trouble. i cannot conceive of any circumstances which would permit any self-respecting girl to allow the familiarities necessary for such a condition." that is the attitude assumed by many intelligent women. because they grew up in an environment without temptations, because they had no unsatisfied longings to be loved or to be popular, they are incapable of understanding these feelings in any other person. in every girl there is an inborn longing to be loved and to have a home of her own. it is a misunderstanding of this sense that is responsible for the wrecked lives of many girls. in too many homes there is no expression of the love sense. frequently i have heard girls remark, "why, i never think of kissing my parents except, perhaps, when they or i go away." in too many homes the only mention that is made of love is that made in a bantering manner. a child has the right idea of love. she loves everyone and is free in the expression of this love. as she grows older she obtains wrong ideas of love and she too often obtains these wrong ideas in her own home and from her own parents who instill false ideas of love when indulging their habit of "teasing." frequently we hear parents talking about the small daughter's "beau." the child feels pent-up emotions of love and, as there is no outlet at home in a natural way, she acquires the idea that these emotions should be spent in a childish love affair. in a recent address professor marx lubine of the university of berlin said, "motherhood, in all stages of civilization, has been strangely ignorant of the fact that girls have as powerful a battery of emotions as boys. it is my experience that a major portion of mothers understand their sons better than their daughters. why? the daughters are not given credit for a power of emotion the sons are capable of. yet, naturally, in my long experience with both sexes, i have no hesitation in saying that the emotions of a pure girl are usually deeper, more lasting, than those of a boy, and that if we are to have a great improvement in womanhood it must come through a recognition of this fact." it is strange but mothers seem to be blind to, or ignorant of the emotions that are seething back of the clear eyes of their daughters. the emotions of the girl have not been studied sufficiently. we expect a boy to do things which serve as an outlet to his pent-up emotions but we expect a girl to go on in a calm, uneventful manner with no outlet for the overflow of emotions. blessed are the "tomboys." i would there were more of them. it is a fact that the girl who runs, plays, climbs trees and is given to outdoor sports generally during the early part of her life develops into the truest woman. she has an outlet for her energies. her time is fully occupied with those things that promote health. she has no time nor desires for those things that show a perverted taste. such a girl seldom becomes a victim of self-abuse. she is not inclined to romantic love affairs. it is her sister who sits and sews who has time and inclination for indulging in morbid longings and who becomes the victim of pernicious habits. curiosity is one of the prominent characteristics of both sexes. with the boy this is satisfied without much pretence at secrecy. false modesty prevents the girl from openly obtaining the desired information. she obtains it secretly from her companions. mothers do not give their daughters credit for the instinct that compels the satisfaction of their curiosity. sometime during her life, nearly every mother is surprised and shocked at the knowledge displayed by her daughter. she finds that owing to her silence and neglect of opportunities her daughter has obtained definite if entirely wrong ideas of sexual matters. in other matters, too, the policy of silence or of arbitrarily forbidding the daughter to indulge in certain pleasures, coupled with the natural curiosity of the girl, tends to develop in her the habit of deceitfulness. if she is forbidden some harmless amusements she very frequently learns these diversions at the homes of her friends. the mother was brought up in one generation, the daughter in another; what was considered wrong in the first generation is looked upon in an entirely different manner now. many mothers seem to be unable to realize this. they were brought up in a puritanical environment. the puritan fathers forbade all indulgence in mirth and happiness. their ideas of the perfect life were to wear a stern, unsmiling countenance and do those things that were unpleasant. if anything was uncongenial, then it was their duty to overcome their inclinations. these puritans expected to develop by repression. we have changed our ideas radically since then, but some of the puritanical ideas still cling to us in our treatment of children. to develop the child's character she must be made to do the things she does not want to do and to refrain from the things she most desires. is it right? we are most interested in those things that belong to us individually or in which we have some share. if we wish a girl to remain at home then we must see that she is interested in that home. the way to do this is to make her feel that the home belongs to her in part and that some portions of it are entirely hers. the majority of girls feel no real interest in their homes. they are made to feel that it is their parents' home and that they are only assistants. a girl to be interested in her home must have some definite room that is hers alone and in which she is allowed to exercise her individual tastes. she must have a place in which she can entertain her friends without the feeling that whatever she does and says is to be criticised afterwards. she should be assigned to certain tasks and held responsible for them. she must have a certain definite allowance out of which she is to buy certain things, otherwise her desire for independence will arise and cause her to leave home. the majority of girls have no income of their own. perhaps their desires are all fulfilled by an indulgent parent and yet the girls resent the feeling of dependence. girls are naturally just as ambitious as boys, and they need good, honest work to keep them healthy and their minds occupied. if a girl displays an interest in a certain line of work this interest must be encouraged. usually it is not. the girl is taught, either consciously or unconsciously, that whatever occupation she takes up will be only temporary, that to become engrossed in her work would mean no marriage. girls cannot do good work under such conditions. chapter xvi self-abuse in one of my articles for one of the leading women's magazines i spoke of mental self-abuse. this brought me so many inquiries regarding both mental and physical self-abuse that i feel impelled to explain them to you. to abuse means to use wrongly, or to injure. we have talked about the uses of the female organs and also about the care of them. sometimes, i have watched children rub their eyes until they were quite red and inflamed. i have seen children, thoughtlessly, stick pins and hairpins in their ears and i even have had to remove a bean which a thoughtless child had pushed up its nose. all these things did more or less harm to the parts. in the same way, some girls play with their external generative organs and even put things up in the vagina. sometimes they injure these organs greatly, and sometimes there is a more general and serious effect. you know the nerves of the body all are very closely connected like telegraph wires so that an irritation to one part will sometimes be telegraphed to another entirely different part and cause the nerves of that part to be irritated. when you have a toothache your whole face and head and even your arms ache. that is because the nerves are irritated. in the same way if one irritates the nerves of the female organs, the whole body may be affected; only in this case it is more serious than with the toothache; for these female organs are more abundantly supplied with nerves. one who is guilty of such an unnatural practice as to deliberately irritate any portion of her body, especially the very important generative organs, always secretly despises herself. if persisted in, the results of this vice are a ruined nervous system and a weakened character. the victim realizes she is doing a disgraceful thing and seldom acknowledges her habit even to her physician. if one has become a victim of such a habit she should determine to stop it immediately and then take measures to restore her nervous system to its original state. it never is too late to commence treatment. it is the continued practice and the mental dwelling on the acts that does the harm, not the few acts thoughtlessly performed. of course the longer the habit has continued, the more firmly it is fixed and the harder to break. the treatment is first to absolutely stop the practice, then fill your mind with other thoughts. take considerable physical exercise in the open air. sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room. eat plain, nourishing food without spices and stimulants. take up some work or play that will interest you and that will keep your mind occupied. live in the open air as much as possible. if you find yourself desiring to do these harmful things, go immediately and busy your mind and hands with something else and the desire will pass soon. in young children this habit often has its origin in some irritation of the external organs, as a hooded clitoris. so before taking severe measures to break the habit, it is wise to have the child examined for such a condition. now as to mental self-abuse, perhaps i can make my meaning more clear by again quoting from some of my letters. a young woman from south carolina wrote me, "a few years ago i taught school and one of my pupils, perfectly innocent of the grave results that would befall her, committed three outrages upon herself, what is known in the medical world as masturbation or self-abuse. the girl, as i know, was chaste and a sweeter, nicer, brighter pupil i never taught. but she had the misfortune to commit these abuses upon herself in all innocence and felt no discomfort or ill health in any way until about three months afterward. then she began to lose interest in her work, to fall away in her grades, in fact to take very little interest in anything. in this condition she came to me and told me everything. since then she has felt no physical pain whatever, but her mind, though not really gone, is visibly affected. in this way, she is constantly in dread lest something dreadful will happen, feels as if a cloud were hanging over her, is not capable of doing any mental work. at times, has a horror of being shut up in any place, memory is poor, places and positions change, that is, a place moves to some other position, for instance, the right side of the street very often is in the opposite direction. to sum it all up, she constantly is miserable. so far as being insane is concerned, she is not that. she is perfectly conscious of her condition. she feels well physically and appears to be so mentally, but says there is just a befogged sensation in her head which gets no better nor worse, yet it is there. the feeling came upon her very suddenly one morning in the spring after the abuses had taken place in january and then it all flashed over her the awful consequences of her innocent practices. oh! what would she not have given to be her old self again! if she only had known the awful result, her mind sacrificed for a practice in which she indulged through ignorance and for experiment, never dreaming the baneful effect it would have on her mind. now, this girl has gone on this way for the past eight years getting no worse nor any better. seemingly, she is the same but she suffers untold miseries when alone, conscious that her mind is hazy and not capable of enjoying books, society of others or anything that interests young girls. yet nobody ever would detect that she is not feeling well. she told me all this in confidence and as the case puzzles me, i write you feeling that perhaps you would advise me in some way the treatment necessary to cure her. she is and has been perfectly moral since the fateful abuses upon herself and i do not understand why her mind does not return to its normal condition." i do! she will not give her mind a chance to get well. she constantly is abusing it by dwelling on things that should have been forgotten long ago. no one goes through life without making some mistakes. everyone has burned his finger many times. and yet he does not keep worrying about it and wondering if it will have some dangerous after-effect. of course, if he deliberately burned his finger time and time again, it might remain injured permanently. but if he, ignorantly or accidentally, has burned it once or several times, he stops his careless ways, allows nature to restore the injured portion, and then forgets there ever was an injury. it is the same with self-abuse, many children do things like this thoughtlessly. but when a girl learns she is injuring herself, she should stop the practice and allow nature to repair the wound. then forget all about it. do not worry, above all things. go ahead and fill your mind with work. there are many women in this world who are abusing themselves by worrying over something that has occurred in the past. whatever is in the past cannot be undone. all we can do is to profit by our experience and turn the energies, that would be wasted by worrying, to some good use. whenever thoughts of the past or desires for the wrong things disturb you, crowd these worry thoughts and desires out of your mind by putting in it good thoughts. deliberately fill your mind and hands so full of other things that there will be no room for these unwholesome pests. worry does more harm than smallpox ever did! this dwelling on past mistakes is only one of several methods of mental self-abuse. another way some abuse themselves is by continuing the association with those who excite or irritate them. if in your work or social life you find that a certain person has an effect upon you that is not wholesome, that when you are in the company of that individual you are incapable of doing your best, then it is time to make a change. keep away from that individual until such a time as you are strong enough to resist his influence. choose your friends from among those who stimulate you mentally. if you stop to think, you must admit that you accomplish more and better work when in the presence of certain people. those are the ones whose companionship you should seek. there are people living together or working together who are a continual source of irritation to each other. it is just as impossible for such people to work in harmony as it is for two incompatible chemicals, as nitrogen and iodine. we do not try to over-ride the laws of nature by trying to force these chemicals to stay together. it is just as impossible to force certain incompatible people to be harmonious. if society or business throws two such people together it would be wise for one to make a change before there is an explosion. it is impossible for any person to do good work in an atmosphere of irritation. another element in mental self-abuse is longing for the unattainable. sometimes a person sets her mind on a certain thing. if that goal is an honorable one, she should make every effort to attain it but if circumstances over which she has no control make that goal impossible of attainment she should turn her thoughts in another direction. but that is what many people do not do. if they cannot have just what they want they sit and bemoan their fate and give up trying for other goals. such a person should choose a line of work or play that is especially interesting to her and bend her energies in that direction. she will be surprised how soon she will lose her intense interest in her former longed-for goal. lack of self-confidence is an evidence of mental self-abuse. a person who has no confidence in herself cannot expect others to have. one who keeps herself in the attitude of uriah heap, who continually asserts, "i am a poor worm, i am unworthy of the blessings of life, i cannot expect great reward," must expect to be taken at her word. in this age a man (or woman) is valued, in a large measure, by the estimate he sets upon himself. honors are not thrust upon a man unless he shows the self-confidence which commands confidence. bacon said, "some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them." but those of the last class are very few. our enemies are willing to thrust upon us scandal and humiliation whenever there is a possible chance, but our friends are very slow in thrusting honors upon us. if a person wants anything in this world he must first convince himself of his ability to attain that goal, then he may be able to convince others. it is the man with confidence in himself who wins the day. after one has decided upon his goal he should keep that goal always before him as the pillar of fire before the seekers for the promised land. all our thoughts should be in that direction. every wish or thought we send out reaches someone and in time may bring us what we wish. "by faith ye can accomplish all things." there is an explanation of "who answers prayer" which describes a mother kneeling by the bedside of her sick baby, and praying faithfully that her baby might be restored to health. in a vision the author sees these prayer thoughts radiating from the mother like invisible telegraph wires, along which the message is carried to various parts of the city. one wire reaches the home of a minister who, although willing, feels his inability to answer. another wire reaches the home of a wealthy banker but he, too, is powerless to help. the next wire is connected with the home of a prominent lawyer famous for his ability to win cases for the needy, but in this case he cannot win, for death is more powerful than he. but a fourth wire reaches a physician who has just retired from a hard day's fight with his enemy--disease. the physician awakens, grasps the message and immediately arises, dresses and hastens to the home of the poor woman. in a short time the little one's spasms are relieved and the doctor gives a sigh of relief, as he says to the anxious mother, "the crisis is past, your baby will live." the mother's prayer has been answered. every thought we entertain is being sent out along these invisible wires and eventually will reach someone who responds to it. if we send out worry thoughts or thoughts of self-depreciation we must expect others to receive the message as we send it. so if we want to make the most of our lives we continually must send out only thoughts that we wish others to receive. we must value ourselves if we expect others to value us! too much introspection and concern for self is often the cause of nervous conditions that produce worry and ill-health. the best cure is the cultivation of complete unselfishness. to be interested in the happiness of others is the surest road to happiness for one's self;--if you get feeling tired of yourself make a visit to some congenial friend, and there forget self and your troubles. "it is more blessed to give than receive" is a truth that all serene and great souls recognize and practice throughout their lives. chapter xvii effects of immoral life some time ago, the general public was shocked by a newspaper story of the life led by many girl clerks in the department stores of a large city. it seems a young girl from the country applied for a position in one of the stores, but upon hearing of the small wages paid, said, "how can i live on that? it would not provide even the most meager of board and the smallest room." the employer asked in reply, "but have you not a gentleman friend?" that reply, repeated to a social worker, started an investigation which resulted in startling revelations. it was found that many of the stores paid such small salaries that to live on them at all was an impossibility for even the most economical. it was an understood fact that each girl was expected to receive help from some "gentleman friend." there must be something wrong in our whole system of living when girls are compelled to work for salaries insufficient for even the necessities and are taught to have tastes and desires for the beautiful which it is impossible to gratify on their meager salaries. a young girl goes to work in an office or store with a definite, if not expressed, understanding of what should be the proper relations of the sexes. after she has been at work a short time she notices that her companions are much better dressed than it is possible for her to be with the resources at her command. she notices that her friends have numerous invitations to theatres and dinners. she wonders if she is less attractive than they. after awhile she receives hints, more or less broad, from her male associates. gradually it dawns upon her why the other girls are more attractive than she. one who has not been thrown in close contact with the girls of this age cannot realize the extent of the immorality among them. formerly it was considered that only boys sowed their wild oats. now we find that many girls do so also. we hear very little about it except for the occasional case of one who has to suffer for her sins. usually this one is one of the most innocent. many of the girls of this generation are "wise." they think they know how to "keep out of trouble," and yet reap the rewards in the shape of a few dollars. girls cannot afford to take the great risks incident to leading an immoral life, aside from all moral reasons for not doing so. in the first place there is the danger of becoming pregnant. think what that means! the majority of girls are led to take the first step by promises of marriage. real life has proved these promises seldom are kept. the man "changes" his mind after the mis-step has been taken. he goes away and forgets, the girl is left to bear the consequences of their mutual sin. the men of the world like to take these girls out and enjoy themselves but when it comes to marriage--the man wants a different kind of a wife. there are three courses from which such an unfortunate girl may choose. one course is an abortion with all its attendant dangers, its risks to her life and the thoughts of having taken a life. another is to brave the world, bear her child and keep it. it takes a great deal of courage to do this with our present social system. often it is impossible, as the girl is unable to care for the child and at the same time support it and herself. she seldom finds very much encouragement in this course. those who should be her friends and aid her to make the most of her life are now the ones who keep her down. they refuse to make it possible for her to earn an honest living and lead a moral life. the third course is to place herself under the care of a responsible physician, live in seclusion for the last few months of her pregnancy, then, after the birth of her baby, have it adopted. considering everything, this often is the best course. from the child's standpoint, it is given a better start in life. it is much better to live as the adopted, but honored, child in a home than it is to have to bear the stigma of illegitimacy. as soon as the child enters school the latter will become known among its playmates and will be the subject of many cruel taunts. it is not fair to the innocent child to give it such a heritage. but think how the mothers must feel to have to give up their babies! that is the saddest part of the case. it is not fair that the girl should be punished the remainder of her life for one mis-step when the man goes absolutely free and without the sign of a stigma attached to him. these cases of unfortunate girls are all too common. the rescue homes in the large cities are full, and often a large percentage of their occupants are from the country. within the last week, i have received letters from four girls, similar to the one i shall read you. this letter is from a girl in indiana who gives a rural delivery address. "in one of your articles in ---- you speak of homes where unfortunate girls are sheltered and taken care of and i should like to know if there is such a home in indianapolis. if there is, will you kindly give me the street and number. i am in trouble and have nowhere to go, but knowing you to be a friend to unfortunate girls who met their misfortune through ignorance and with no desire to do wrong, i write you for advice." this, as well as numerous other letters, show that these things are just as prevalent in the country districts as in the cities. so many girls do not realize how easy it is to "get into trouble." a short time ago i had a confinement case that was a little unusual; for the young woman, who was unmarried, had an unruptured hymen, which contained only one small opening barely large enough to insert a sound the size of a slate pencil. at the first consultation several months previous, when she had come to me on account of absence of menstruation for three months, the girl had insisted that there was no possibility of her being pregnant. later she admitted that four months previously, just after she menstruated, she was out with a young man who was very insistent, that she did not consent, but in spite of her resistance there was a discharge thrown against the labia (external organs). at the time of this first examination she was about four months pregnant and had not supposed such a condition of affairs possible. fortunately in this case there was an early marriage. another grave danger to the girl who indulges in immoral practices is the possibility of contracting one of the black plagues. you know what that would mean. if you recall the prevalence of these diseases you will see that the probabilities are that any girl indulging in immoral relations will sooner or later contract one of these diseases. indeed she runs a big risk of contracting one at her first mis-step. after one has taken the first mis-step it is very easy to take the next. one step often leads to another until the girl succumbs to a life of prostitution. a result of prostitution that is important is the unfitting for regular life. whatever the effect of such a life may be upon a man, a girl cannot lead such a life with impunity. many a girl tires of her immoral life and gladly would turn to something else but the difficulties in her way are numerous. one is her inability to obtain a position when it is known that she has led an immoral life. another is that she finds the duties and regular hours incident to any position very irksome. the irregular life she has led has unfitted her for a regular life. there seems to have been a general disturbance of the whole nervous system, her will has become so weakened that it is very hard for her to have the will power necessary to keep from returning to the old life. this breaking of the will power also makes it difficult for her to keep her mind on her work. then, too, she resents any supervision of her work. of course, the longer the irregular life has continued the harder it is to break away from it. now, from another standpoint! no matter how dissipated a man may be he wants his bride to be pure. nearly all girls expect to marry sometime, and so for the sake of the future--in order to keep the confidence of her husband as well as for the sake of not taking any risks that might prevent future motherhood, girls should not lead immoral lives. chapter xviii flirtations and their results the greater social freedom of the present generation without adequate preparation has resulted in an increasing tendency among young girls to make chance acquaintances and perhaps clandestine engagements. that these flirtations, entered into so innocently, may result in events that will be the cause of lifelong regret is seldom realized by a young girl. yet very often such is the case! one letter i received says, "i will give you a short outline of my life since last april when my troubles began, for which i blame my parents partly, because i was not allowed to have my friends at my home or go out with young men, as the other girls do, with my parents' knowledge of it and because i was kept ignorant of the things i think every girl should know. i was nineteen last march. the men say i am the kind that looks good to men, that they cannot resist. as to this i do not know, but i do know that i always attract their attentions and i am sorry that i do. and yet i crave them. i have for years and i am lonesome without them. i want their friendship and company. i do not know why it is but i am more satisfied with the boys than the girls. last april a young man, somewhere in the thirties, i think, though he looked much younger, came to our little country town. he was handsome, well educated, finely dressed and always seemed to have plenty of money. i was very unhappy about this time over my troubles at home and because my boy friend, who always had been a friend through all, had for some cause unknown to me stopped writing to me. so i met the young man first in company with friends a couple of times, then he wished to make an appointment to meet me alone and, through the kindness of my friends, i met him out at night several times. on the third night before i half realized what i was doing i had let him ruin me. i had never been told that this was wrong and yet i seemed to know that it was. it worried me, but there was no one i could go to for advice and my friend said that since what was done already could never be undone i might as well keep it up, etc. having no advice but his, i followed it and for several weeks met him out any and every where and time i could. i knew of the trouble that might come from these meetings and asked my friend about it but he said that everything was all right, that he would tend to that and that nothing would happen. but it did happen. he was going away in a few days and gave me some medicine to take, telling me i was only held back on account of it being the first time. but i didn't believe him and went to a married lady whom i had known but a short time but whom i thought i could trust and who would help me. she invited my friend and me there one evening and talked the matter over with us or rather with him. he stayed over and helped me out of my trouble. but my health has never been the same since. now, what i want to ask you is this, do you think it would be right for me to marry any man, with him thinking that i am good or innocent? do men expect that of the women they marry? but i do not wish to marry if i can help it, but i must do something. i will go crazy if i stay here at home from worrying over what i have done and for fear my parents will find it out. what i wish to do is to go away to work, but i have no one to go to and am afraid i cannot resist the temptations that they say come to every working girl. i have given in twice since my trouble, both times shortly afterwards. the first because i could not help it and the second because i was afraid of being told on, he having been told by the first man. but when i found out i could not resist the teasing i quit going out and it has been months since i have been out with a man and i am trying to lead a decent life but it is hard and at times it seems that i must give in. now, please write and tell me just exactly what you think of my case. has my whole life been ruined by this man?" unless this girl will "play soldier" and "right about face" she is in danger of landing in a house of ill-fame. how common is her story! girls do not realize what are the possible results that may follow an innocent flirtation. young girls are not posted and they do not know men. they do not realize the pressure that will be brought to bear upon them. many young girls grow to womanhood without any idea of the relations of the sexes. to them, love is devoid of ideas of sex, practically the same as their love for a brother or sister. it is not until they are thrown alone in the company of some older man that they suddenly awaken to a realization of what it all means. the girls who like to be petted, to be kissed and hugged can see no harm in that and do not realize what a sleeping force may be aroused. the man, when he finds a girl will allow these attentions, thinks that she knows what they may lead to and naturally assumes that she is willing, but only wishes to be coaxed. it is a clear case of misunderstanding on both sides. but that does not make the consequences any less harmful. girls do not realize what kind of an impression they make upon men by their clothes, actions, etc. an eminent lawyer said to me recently, "why do you not tell girls what _real_ men think of them when they appear on the streets with painted faces, peek-a-boo waists and thin, silk hose worn with shoes more appropriate for the ball-room? if girls imitate the demi-monde in their dress they must expect to be treated accordingly." there is in every girl's nature a desire to appear attractive in the eyes of those of the opposite sex and this desire leads them to extremes of dressing. these extremes of dressing naturally attract the attention of men, and the girls feel flattered and continue in their course, not realizing what impression the men really get. then, when the man makes the advances that her manner of dressing has led him to believe he can make, she feels insulted and resentful. the fault lies in the fact that the girl has not been properly educated and has received exaggerated and entirely wrong ideas of life. chapter xix white slavery during the past few years the public has been much interested in the prosecution of the white slave investigation. every adult person had a more or less definite idea that there were in existence immoral houses. but the majority of women had no idea that their existence should be of any especial interest to them. the hon. edwin sims, u. s. district attorney, chicago, says: "there are some things so far removed from the lives of normal, decent people as to be simply unbelievable by them. the 'white slave' trade of to-day is one of these incredible things. the calmest, simplest statements of its facts are almost beyond the comprehension of belief of men and women who are mercifully spared from contact with the dark and hideous secrets of the 'under-world' of the big cities. "naturally, wisely, every parent who reads this statement will at once raise the question: 'what excuse is there for the open discussion of such a revolting condition of things? what good is there to be served by flaunting so dark and disgusting a subject before the family circle?' only one--and that is a reason and not an excuse! the recent examination of more than two hundred 'white slaves' by the office of the u. s. district attorney at chicago has brought to light the fact that literally thousands of innocent girls from the country districts are every year entrapped into a life of hopeless slavery and degradation because parents in the country do not understand conditions as they exist and how to protect their daughters from the 'white slave' traders who have reduced the art of ruining young girls to a national and international system. i sincerely believe that nine-tenths of the parents of these thousands of girls who are every year snatched from lives of decency and comparative peace and dragged under the slime of an existence in the 'white slave world' have no idea that there is really a trade in the ruin of girls as much as there is a trade in cattle or sheep or other products of the farm. "i have no disposition to add a single word to what will open the eyes of parents to the fact that white slavery is an existing condition--a system of girl hunting that is national and international in its scope, that it literally consumes thousands of girls--clean, innocent girls--every year; that it is operated with a cruelty, a barbarism that gives a new meaning to the word fiend; that it is an imminent peril to every girl in the country who has a desire to get into the city and taste its excitement and pleasures." one of the worst obstacles to be overcome in the work of protecting innocent girls and restoring to useful lives those who have been betrayed, is the blind incredulity on the part of a large percentage of the public. there are thousands of women all over the country who know as little about what is going on in the world as do so many children. they are wonderfully ignorant of the terrible conditions that are in existence all around them. of course their blindness to these awful conditions makes them more peaceful and contented for the time being than they possibly could be if they realized the temptations and perils that are lying in wait for their daughters and the daughters of their friends. but this peace is not permanent and every year thousands of mothers are rudely awakened from their sleep of peace to find that while they were asleep to the perils of the world their daughters have been drawn into the whirlpool. the awakening of such parents comes too late usually to do any good. the recent agitation along this line has caused many a mother to exclaim, "how terrible; i did not dream that such a condition of affairs could exist in this country." if you possessed a rare jewel and knew you were surrounded by those who would try to obtain possession of that jewel you would not entrust it to a blind or a deaf watchman or one so ignorant of the wiles of the robbers that he would trustingly allow it to pass into their possession. there is nothing in the world so priceless to the father and mother as the virtue and happiness of their daughter. and yet there are thousands of parents who have been entrusted with the care of a daughter who are trying to discharge that trust with their eyes blinded and their ears closed. they insist upon keeping the childish belief that there is no real danger threatening their daughter. these parents do not live in the world. they fold their hands and raise their eyes towards heaven and cry, "peace! peace!" and are unable to see the enemy slipping upon their daughter to drag her down to a life of shame. in this age no young girl is beyond temptation. she needs all the protection possible, and in order to protect her the parents must be awake to the dangers and provided with the best means of protection. one of the things hardest to make honest and trusting parents believe is that there can be people in the world who make it their business to lead girls into a life of shame. but such is the case whether we believe it or not. the men and women who ply this trade lay their plans more carefully and employ more artifices than can be conceived of by the ordinary parent. the wonder is that not more are caught in the net. another fact which the public finds it hard to believe is that the girls who are lured into the life of shame find it impossible to escape from such a life, that they are prisoners and slaves in every sense of the word. the artifices employed by these slave-dealers to obtain their victims are many and frequently are so adroitly formulated as to blind not only the victim but her parents as well. one common trick of these slave procurers is the promise of a good position. many a girl has gone to the cities thinking she had obtained a definite and desirable position. perhaps she was to be met at the station by the person who obtained the position for her. too late she finds her position is in a house of ill-fame. so common has this trick become that in every large city there are organizations of social workers who offer through the churches to look up the desirability of any position which has been obtained by a girl so that should it prove to be a lure of the destroyer she could be warned before it was too late. another favorite device of the white slaver for landing victims is the runaway marriage trick. the alleged summer resorts and excursion centers which are so widely advertised as gretna greens and as places where the usual legal and official formalities preliminary to respectable marriage are reduced to the minimum are star recruiting stations for the white slave traffic. so common is this trick that a wise mother would refuse to allow her daughter to visit one of these places or to go on one of the pleasure excursions unless accompanied by some older member of the family. also, every mother should teach her daughter that any man who proposed such a marriage was to be looked upon with suspicion, and should not be trusted for an instant. then there is the restaurant trick. the girl is induced to go to what she thinks is a restaurant and then perhaps is taken into a private room only to find that this room leads to her prison. girls cannot be too suspicious of going to unknown places with comparative strangers--either men or women. the moving picture shows furnish to these slavers another opportunity of misleading girls. these shows naturally attract children and very young girls. evidence has been procured which proves that many girls owe their ruin to frequenting them. as an instance of this, three girls met as many young men at a moving picture show and at the end of the performance were induced to leave the theater by a side door which was found to open into an adjoining building and all passed the night together. the massage parlors and manicure parlors upon investigation proved to have been used as a bait for these vile procurers. many of these places were found to be not equipped for their legitimate work but to be nothing more than disorderly houses. the investigations of the united states courts have resulted in the imprisonment of many of these panders but there are many more still unconvicted and the danger to young girls is ever present. the parents cannot be too watchful in their protection, and to be watchful they must be cognizant of the dangers and of the methods in use. the daughters must be so educated that they are prepared to cope with the enemy. remember, as browning says, "ignorance is not innocence, but sin." chapter xx the need of early instruction of boys i have made so emphatic the necessity of early and proper instruction of girls and i have shown you that so much of the disease and unhappiness in the world is due to this lack of instruction that i do not believe any of your daughters ever will say, "why was i not told these things before it was too late?" but you women will have sons as well as daughters and you are just as responsible for their future happiness as you are for that of your daughters. besides the future happiness of another woman's daughter depends in a large measure upon the health of your son. the boys need instruction as much if not more than do the girls; at any rate they need it earlier than the girls do, because boys talk more freely than girls and boys acquire their first impressions of these subjects much earlier than girls. no boy ever willfully contracted a disease that would produce so much future misery as that resulting from one of the venereal diseases. you remember i made the remark that the large percentage of men contracted these diseases before their twentieth year, before they had any adequate knowledge of the possible consequences. if boys were warned there would be no more of this innocent acquisition of disease. many a man has had cause to regret all his life a few moments of thoughtless dissipation. even though a boy has acquired one of these diseases that is no reason why he should suffer from it the remainder of his life any more than that he constantly should suffer from an attack of smallpox. one difference at the present time is that the smallpox patient receives the most scientific treatment procurable, but the victim of one of these plagues is neglected. boys are told these diseases are no worse than a cold and so do not realize the necessity for prompt and adequate treatment. the ordinary boy treats himself, following the advice of some of his friends or some incompetent person. he has a feeling of shame which prevents him from going to the family physician, who would give him honest advice. if he goes to any physician he usually goes to some advertising physician who claims to be a "men specialist." the main speciality of these men is obtaining money from their ignorant dupes. their advertisements would make nearly every man in the world think he were suffering from some grave disease. the young boy, at an impressionable age, is a ready victim to their lures. he is treated for a real or an imaginary disease until his money is all gone, then he is discharged. let me read you a letter i received from a young boy which will illustrate my meaning: "i read your article 'a father's duty to his son,' in the ---- and take the liberty of writing to you. my father died when i was but nine years old, so i was left to my own resources, the result being i am now a nervous wreck at the age of nineteen. i have doctored for nervous debility with four doctors for over a year and a half. the result, they got every cent out of me but did not help me a particle. if my mother ever found it out, it would worry her to death, as she has hopes in me, fool that i was. my condition, i am always nervous when in company, expecting somebody to accuse me any minute. my eyes always are blurred and my hands shake as if i were an old man. i have night losses, which bother me more than anything and if they stopped i know i could fight my way back to health. if you could possibly give me some recipe or advice it would be greatly appreciated. nobody but one in this condition can imagine the strain on the mind and body. although i feel well when alone, though awfully weak, i am a nervous wreck when in the presence of others. i have written to you because your article seems to tell facts which i know to be true." now, if you will pardon me i will quote a portion of my reply: "evidently you have been the victim of unscrupulous doctors. unfortunately there are a number. they usually advertise themselves as specialists in diseases of men. a reliable physician does not advertise. if you had gone to a trustworthy family physician in the first place you would have been saved much worry, and incidentally considerable money. "the chief advice you need is to _stop worrying_. the night losses you mention are a natural condition. they occur with nearly every normal man who is living a continent life. even if they occur two or three times a week they do not indicate any diseased condition. the more you worry and think about such things the more often they will occur. i do not know what your occupation is, but if it is indoor work you must plan to take a great deal of outdoor exercise every day. if you could go out in the country for awhile and do hard outdoor work it would be the best thing for you. eat only plain, easily digested food, but eat plenty. do not use any condiments nor stimulants. sleep on a hard bed with plenty of fresh air in the room. bathe the external genitals with cold water night and morning.... the fact that you have abused yourself in the past need not prevent you from being a perfectly healthy person now if you are not continuing the practice." every boy desires to be a man but does not quite understand the meaning of the word. he dislikes to be called a "greeny" or anything that suggests that he is young and inexperienced. often he pretends to know things he does not. nearly every boy, at an early age, is thrown in contact with low-minded persons who think it amusing to persuade the youth to prove he knows indecent things. he thinks it a test of manhood to be acquainted with various vices and so in order to prove his knowledge is led into various indiscretions, which result in the contraction of vile habits or of loathsome diseases. if a boy at an early age were given the true idea of the meaning of being a man or of manhood we would have fewer physical wrecks and incompetent individuals. chapter xxi why boys go astray "what can a boy do, and where can a boy stay, if he is always told to get out of the way? he cannot sit here, and he must not stand there, the cushions that cover that fine rocking chair were put there, of course, to be seen and admired; a boy has no business to ever be tired. the beautiful roses and flowers that bloom on the floor of the darkened and delicate room are made not to walk on--at least, not by boys; the house is no place, anyway, for their noise, yet boys must walk somewhere, and what if their feet, sent out of their houses, sent into the street, should step round the corner and pause at the door where other boys' feet have paused often before; should pass the gateway of glittering light, where jokes that are merry and songs that are bright ring out a warm welcome with flattering voice, and temptingly say, 'here's a place for the boys.' "ah, what if they should? what if your boy or mine should cross o'er the threshold which marks out the line 'twixt virtue and vice, 'twixt pureness and sin, and leave all his innocent boyhood within? oh, what if they should, because you and i while the days and the months and the years hurry by, are too busy with cares and with life's fleeting joys to make round our hearthstone a place for the boys? there's a place for the boys. they'll find it somewhere; and if our own homes are too daintily fair for the touch of their fingers, the tread of their feet, they'll find it, and find it, alas, in the street, 'mid the gilding of sin and the glitter of vice; and with heartaches and longings we pay a dear price for the getting of gain that our lifetime employs, if we fail to provide a good place for the boys." this little poem, published anonymously in a country newspaper, seems to me to tell the story of why boys go astray. they are not understood at home and so naturally go where someone seems to understand and want them. in a great many homes the boy's room is a very unattractive place, merely a place in which to sleep. he is not allowed in the "parlor." he always seems to be in the way. no one seems to take any interest in the things that are closest to his heart. it is only natural that he should gradually drift to the saloon, the billiard room, the questionable houses, because he is made to feel that he is welcome there. indeed his tastes and desires are consulted there. a boy always is interested in sex problems. the vulgar delight in feeding his fancy, in giving him exaggerated ideas of these much abused subjects. he is lead on from one step to another. often many of the things he does are performed in a spirit of bravado, simply because he does not wish to appear "green." from one of the reliable magazines comes this information: "forty-one families--'nice families,' as we call them--were last may thrown into consternation and humiliation by being privately notified by the head master of a boys' school that their boys would not be reëntered for another term at his school. 'a fearful condition of immorality,' wrote the head master, 'has been unearthed at the school, and in order to set an example to the rest of the boys, every boy concerned will be denied reëntrance to this school.' "the 'fearful condition of immorality' discovered in the school was, as the head master privately explained, traceable, as it generally is, 'to one boy, the son of a family of unquestioned standing in its community,' and he has involved the other boys. "the boy in question was not a vicious lad: on the contrary, he was a boy possessed of more than ordinary good characteristics. when he was brought up before the head master and the full result of his baneful influence was explained to him the boy was panic stricken. "'didn't you realize what you were doing?' asked the head master. "'no,' replied the boy, who was nineteen and really a young man: 'i knew it was wrong, yes, but i didn't realize how wrong. as a matter of fact,' said the boy, 'i didn't know what i was doing, and how i was getting the boys into a thing that i now see is more serious than i had any idea of.' "'didn't your father and mother ever explain these things to you?' asked the head master. "'not a word,' answered the boy, and then as a grim look came on his face he said: 'god! i wish they had!' "a pleasant realization must it be to the parents of this boy as they read this sentence in the head master's letter to the father of this boy: "'i cannot but feel that your criminal negligence in the most vital duty that can come to a parent is the direct cause in this twofold calamity: first, of the downfall of your own son; and second, of the downfall of each of the other forty boys, and of the humiliation in which they and their parents find themselves. these are hard words to say to you, but they are true, and i say them not alone as the head master of this school, but also as one father to another, and as one man to another.'" in the growing youth's mind there arise many questions that he would like to talk over with his father, but he feels diffident about asking him. too often the boy grows up and goes away to college without ever talking with his father about manhood. in all matters concerning his business relations and success, the boy has received careful instruction. he has not been left to work out those problems by himself but is given the benefit of the experiences of those who have trodden the road before. but in this matter so vital to his whole life, he has been left to clear his own path through the woods. with no guide and bewildered with the new ideas and experiences that crowd upon him, is it any wonder he loses his way, wanders off the straight path, falls ofttimes into some bog that perhaps was hidden from his sight by surrounding flowers and to which he has been lured by siren music? the father's duty to his son is plain--and must not be neglected. in some cases the mother must attend to this duty and for the future welfare of her son she must see that he receives adequate instruction. chapter xxii how shall the child be told? every mother and every father realizes that there are certain things incident to reproduction that must be learned by the child at an early age. they realize, too, that it is preferable that this information should be imparted by the parents. but, on account of their own lack of instruction, they find two problems confronting them. how and when shall i tell my child are the questions uppermost in many parents' minds. the answer to the first question must depend upon the individual case. at a certain age a baby expresses a desire for something to bite. before that time we make no effort to force him to bite. later he finds he can help himself from one position to another by creeping. then in a few months he discovers he is able to use his feet and tries to walk. we do not try to force any of these new ideas upon him but simply wait patiently until he expresses a desire to acquire some new knowledge, then we aid him and guide his efforts. there comes a time in the life of every child when he awakens to knowledge of reproduction. then is the time to give the information. some children commence to inquire as early as three years. at such an early age it is not necessary to go into details, as a very little information suffices to satisfy the child. just how to tell the truths necessary must vary with the age of the child. it is important to remember to be truthful to the child. when a mother tells the child that the stork or the doctor brings the baby, she sets a seal upon evasion. some day he will learn that his mother has deceived him and that behind her instruction lies an element of secrecy, and secrecy with its companion curiosity is the cause of much unrest in after life. the child gathers the idea that there must be something shameful connected with the birth of a child or his mother would not be ashamed to tell him the truth. secondly, the child must be told scientifically that this knowledge may form a basis for later studies in biology. he can be taught in a simple manner that all nature comes from a seed; that the mother makes a tiny nest for the seed and that with all seeds it is necessary for their growth that the father gives them some pollen. until these subjects are put before children and young people with some degree of intelligence and sympathetic handling, it cannot be expected that anything but the utmost confusion in mind and in morals should reign in matters of sex. it seems incredible that our thoughts could be so unclean that we find it impossible to give to our children the information they need on these most sacred subjects, but instead we allow them to obtain their information whenever and wherever they can and in the most unclean manner. a child at the age of puberty is capable of the most sensitive, affectional and serene appreciation of what sex means and can absorb the teachings if properly given without any shock to his sense of the fitness of things. indeed whenever these subjects are taught to the child correctly they induce a feeling of reverence for the mother that could not otherwise be obtained. a little child when told that she grew in a nest in mother's body right underneath mother's heart at once becomes filled with a great love and wonder for that mother. then later to teach the relation of fatherhood and how the love of parents for each other and their desire to have a child of their very own was the cause of that child's existence--these things seem so natural to the child mind that has not been polluted with vulgar ideas that they excite in him no sense of unfitness, only a deep gratitude and a kind of tender wonderment. the great point to remember in teaching these things to children is to satisfy their present question and leave the understanding that mother (or father) always stands ready and willing to explain any problems that are bothering the child. so many girls have told me that when they were between six and fourteen years of age they had heard some things about the land where the babies grow and immediately went to their mothers and inquired as to the truth of what they had heard. the invariable answer received was, "little girls must not talk about such things." that silenced the child and the mother heaved a sigh of relief that the question had passed off so smoothly and easily. that little sentence has been the cause of innumerable mistakes and misery. that little sentence marked the beginning of the failure of the child to confide in her mother, the child never again would broach the subject to her mother. however, that did not mean that the child would not receive the information requested; for, as a rule, the girls who told of this incidence also remarked that they had received the information very soon from some older girl and frequently in a vulgar manner. if a mother wishes to retain the confidence of her daughter, if a father wishes to retain the confidence of his son they both must keep a keen lookout for the first questions and be prepared to answer them at the time. later on the special sexual needs of the boy or the girl can be explained, the necessity of cleanliness and the danger of self-abuse. the need of self-control and the possibility of deflecting physical desire to other channels and the great gain resulting; all these things the youth of either sex are capable of understanding and appreciating, and the knowledge given early will prevent many physical and moral wrecks. it is the duty of fathers and mothers to prepare themselves on these subjects so as to have the answer ready when the child first inquires. there is no excuse for not doing so, for educators all over the country stand ready to help any parents who call upon them. it is possible for every community to obtain the services of a lecturer or teacher who will instruct the parents. the individual can obtain books which explain all these things simply and plainly. there is no excuse for ignorance. chapter xxiii women in business if all homes were ideal and all men likewise, there would be no question of woman suffrage or woman in business. but this is not an ideal world; all women who have kept their places and stayed at home, kept house and taken care of their children have not led ideal lives. in too many instances the home woman, the little wren, has been deserted for the gay song-bird. the necessities of life have forced other women into the business world--women whose preference would be for the ideal, quiet home life. one must not think that because a woman is leading a public life that she prefers it, that she has no desire for a home and little ones. often her choice has been the lesser of two evils,--more to be desired than a life, married, but loveless; one in which she must slave from morn till eve and then receive as recompense curses and fault-finding. the woman who refuses to so demean the married life as to enter into such a marriage, preferring instead the busy life of a bachelor maid, is to be admired rather than condemned. that she makes a success of her business life tends to show what some man has missed by not proving himself worthy to be her husband. we hear so much about woman entering into business--just as though she had not always been in business. stop and think about our ancestors on the farms. the woman shared the work equally with the man. he attended to the heavier work, while she attended to that which required less physical strength but more attention to details. the products of her industry often brought as much ready cash as that derived from the sale of the larger products of the farm. many families depended for the yearly supply of clothes and luxuries on the money thus obtained from the sale of butter, eggs and chickens. in olden days, too, many a woman derived an income from the sale of home-made rugs and counterpanes. just how men have conceived the idea that it is only the modern woman who is a money earner, i cannot understand, nor can i understand how some men expect women to be happy in idleness. the most unhappy women in the world are the women who have a great deal of leisure time. many a man objects to his wife taking up any outside work even though it would not interfere with her household duties. this usually is due to false pride on his part. he is afraid of what others will say; afraid his friends will think he is not capable of supporting his wife. some of these men forget to take into account the possibility that an accident or illness may take him away, business failures may sweep away his accumulations and then his wife must face the necessity of earning her living. alas, how seldom is she prepared to do this! if, during the leisure time of her protected life, she had been perfecting herself in some branch of industry, her future would be easily solved. a woman can devote several hours a day to outside affairs and still not neglect her home duties. home-making does not necessarily mean that the woman herself must do the washing, ironing, cooking, baking or sewing. she must see that these are performed properly but the actual work may all be done by others. a business man does not attempt to do all the work of the office himself. he employs a bookkeeper, a clerk and a stenographer to attend to the details while he directs. it is the same way with a home, a woman may employ others to do the physical labor while she directs. then as to the married woman earning money. let me give you an illustration. a woman has spent the early part of her life perfecting herself in some branch of work, for instance, book cover designing. she marries a man in moderate circumstances and does not feel that she can afford to be idle and employ someone else to do her house work. she is a slenderly built woman and it would be a great tax on her strength to perform all the household duties--for some parts of housekeeping require such hard physical labor that even many men would not care to attempt them. it certainly would seem a very reasonable thing for this woman to devote several hours a day to book cover designing and use the money so earned to employ a strong woman to do the heavy housework. this arrangement would be better for all concerned; first, the woman would be happier and more contented; next, the man would enjoy his home more, for any man certainly would rather come home and find his wife contented and happy and with leisure time to devote to him, than to come home and find her all tired out, and consequently cross, with the housework so unfinished she must devote her evening to some household task. if circumstances have given a woman home and children, they always must come first, but this does not mean the woman must do housework if conditions permit the employment of somebody to do it. she must do the work for which she is best fitted both by nature and by training. in whatever occupation a woman is engaged she should endeavor to make a success of that work, to do it a little better than anyone else could; for in every field of endeavor there is joy and reward for always being and doing one's best. the great secret of success is _concentration_. too many women waste their energies thinking and talking about the things they would like to do. every time you talk about the thing you would like to do you waste just that much energy and make your goal less possible of achievement. that which seems difficult before is usually found easy to accomplish, once undertaken. if you wish to accomplish anything _hold the thought_ in your mind and concentrate all your powers in that direction. do not scatter your energies like chaff to be blown hither and thither. chapter xxiv nervousness--a lack of control how often do we meet women who complain of being nervous. what they really mean is that they have not control of their nerves but let them run away. a woman may be of a nervous temperament and yet have such good control of her nerves that she never complains of being nervous. this lack of nerve control manifests itself in various ways. sometimes it only is a tendency to cry at trivial things or an inclination to despondency--to have "the blues," or to worry over real or fancied slights. many women waste so much time thinking over things that are past and gone. a visit with a friend loses its joy in the afterthought, for this victim of the nerves lives over again every moment of the visit. she recalls everything that has been said and wonders if a different meaning were meant. things that were said as a joke and originally taken that way now are brought up for criticism and pondered over until the woman convinces herself of the presence of a hidden meaning. she is not satisfied until she has bent and shapen the original thoughtless sentence into an ugly sting. these nervous women are the ones who continually are tormented with the demon of jealousy. if one of them should suddenly meet her husband on the street walking with another woman, what a curtain lecture he would receive that evening; or if not that, he finds his wife wearing the air of one who considers herself much abused. the real facts of the case may be that her husband met the other woman quite accidentally and, as they were going in the same direction, he could not avoid walking with her without being positively rude. in this age men must, of necessity, have business transactions with women. it is a common occurrence for two men to lunch together in order to have a chance to talk over some important business without fear of interruption. there is no reason why a man and woman might not do the same, and yet how impossible it would be to convince the jealous woman that this was the case. to be jealous is to acknowledge the superior charms of the other woman. "if i cannot hold you against all women, then i do not want you." if you think some other woman is attracting your husband, wake up and beat her at her own game. do not sit idly in the corner and complain. you only are making yourself miserable and not trying to right the wrong. a woman who is nervous usually does not realize what is the cause of her condition. when excitable and irritable and suffering from a nervous headache, she takes various remedies to deaden the symptoms, instead of looking the matter squarely in the face and going after the cause. many women need a hobby to take up their spare time and to occupy their minds. if their minds are occupied and their bodies kept in good condition by proper care, they soon will gain control of their nerves. if you find yourself getting nervous, make up your mind to overcome it by filling your life so full of work and play that you will have no time to give way to the nerves. when you feel an attack coming on, get busy and "work it off." there is a class of women who possess comfortable homes, with a maid to do the work, whose home duties are not confining and who find themselves with a great deal of extra time on their hands. to these women the days are long and they endeavor to pass away the time by doing nerve racking fancy work or by "fussing" around the house. they are not happy and contented, chiefly because their minds are being neglected--are growing up to weeds like a neglected garden. for such a woman club work is a boon. she should take up some especial kind of work, and devote several hours a day to the study of it. at first this will be hard, for a mind that has fallen into lazy ways is not easily aroused to continual effort, the deeply rooted weeds are not easily destroyed. many half contented women realize this need of mental food but hesitate. as one woman said, "why, my husband would leave me if i started to work!" some men take a peculiar attitude towards women. they would like to treat them as a woman treats her pet dog. the dog is provided with a comfortable home, plenty of food, someone to bathe it and carry it around. the dog is contented with this. it loves to sleep and eat the livelong day; it comes when its mistress calls, and goes when she is tired of it. unfortunately, perhaps, all women cannot be contented with such a life. the woman was given a brain which refuses to be dormant. if it is not required to be used in a useful way, it occupies itself with bad thoughts--it worries and becomes fault finding or gossiping. no woman should allow her mind to grow up to such weeds. if the circumstances of her position, her education or her environment seem to make it unwise that she take up any work that would bring a monetary reward, she easily can find some charitable work that needs all the energies she can devote to it. if such a woman would take up some special branch of philanthropic work she would be amply rewarded, not only by the consciousness of the good she had done, but by the improvement in her own health and happiness. there is another phase to this lack of nerve control shown in a nervous tension, an inability to relax and enjoy life. some people go through the day on such a nervous tension that they are unable to take cognizance of their surroundings. eventually this tension will manifest itself in some disorder, as headache, nervous indigestion or complete nervous prostration. in the latter case the nerves have been so abused, so strained that at last they are worn out. a rest is imperative! a woman who, if she has a few spare moments, can lie down and relax absolutely, perhaps even drop to sleep, has a better chance to stand the stress and strain of business or of housekeeping than the one who finds it impossible to do so. try making it a point to lie down for two or three minutes several times a day; lie flat on your back and relax every muscle; put every worry or ugly thought out of your mind by thinking some pleasant but soothing sentence as, "i am glad i can rest. i will be happy when i arise." you will be surprised at the effect these few moments a day will produce upon your health and happiness. plenty of sleep is imperative for these women and yet so many of them neglect this great restorer of the nervous system. frequently these women complain of an inability to go to sleep easily, and spend long hours of the night lying awake and entertaining worry thoughts. this symptom of disordered nerves should not be neglected. a warm bath before retiring, followed by a gentle massage, especially along the spine, will, by relaxing the nerves and muscles, produce very good results. a hot foot-bath, by drawing the blood away from the brain, often will be beneficial. a glass of hot milk or cocoa taken just before retiring may have the same effect. if the sleeplessness is a result of indigestion a plain diet will relieve. sleeping upon a hard bed without a pillow sometimes produces the desired effect. always have plenty of fresh air in the room. keep the mind free from the cares of the day. if they will intrude crowd them out by repeating some soothing sentence as: "there is no reason why i should not sleep, therefore, i shall sleep. my body is relaxed, my mind is at peace, sleep is coming, i am getting sleepy, i am about to sleep." never take any sleeping powders except upon the advice of a physician, for the majority of these sleeping powders contain some harmful drug, as morphine, codeine, phenacetin or acetanilid. the latter especially is very depressing to the heart and serves to weaken the nervous system. in fact many deaths may be laid at the door of these drugs. treatments to tone up the nervous system and to improve the circulation often are indicated in these cases of "nerves." control your nerves, do not let them control you! chapter xxv a woman is as young as she wants to be have you ever thought why it is that some women are as young at forty as others are at twenty-four? and i mean young not frivolous! it is every woman's duty to keep young as long as possible, but, unfortunately, she does not always know the best way to live up to that duty. keeping young means keeping your body in a perfectly healthy condition and your mind in harmony. with attention to certain laws a woman can detract ten years from her age. she can do this by treating herself as a friend and not as a slave. take ten minutes and think how you could improve yourself by a little effort. perhaps some of these suggestions will help you. everyone needs exercise. just what sort depends upon the occupation of the individual. a woman doing housework exercises most of her muscles during the day, and if she makes pleasure, and not drudgery out of her work, this exercise is very beneficial. it is a pleasure to be able to accomplish so much, but the housework is not sufficient exercise. this woman needs exercise for her mind and for her beauty-loving soul. in her spare time she should lie under the trees and enjoy nature or a good book, or she should go to some gathering where she will meet those who will refresh her intellectually. keep the mind open to all the impressions of nature. love the open air. fresh air is not a fad, it is a necessity if one would keep young. occasionally read a book of travel or a biography of some well-known person. keep mentally alert. an intellectual back number adds years to her seeming age. nothing makes for youth as a young mind, save perhaps a young heart. if a woman wishes to retain her attractiveness and not grow dull and uninteresting, she must be interested in the outside world. make it a point to go somewhere every day. if you cannot do anything else, put the baby in the cart and walk a few blocks. do not say you are too busy. it is necessary for your health and you will find a few minutes' outing will give you renewed energies and help you to see the silver lining. if possible go to social affairs where you meet people. invite others to your home but do not tire yourself entertaining them. people who are boarding enjoy a simple home-cooked meal. it is the "homey" air they enjoy and not elaborate decorations or menu. a woman in an office needs different exercise. she needs to do something that will stretch and strengthen the tired muscles. she also needs plenty of fresh air. a brisk walk is one of the best exercises for her. walk part of the way to the office, if possible, and keep your eyes open for interesting things you pass. use your imagination in guessing the life story of those you meet. forget yourself by becoming interested in others, and you will be surprised at the effect upon your outlook on life. it is not work that makes the business girl grow old and careworn as much as it is her inability to forget her work during her play or rest time. a business man takes an occasional day off and goes hunting or fishing, but the business girl seldom can afford the little trips that would serve to break the monotony of work. but every day brings its opportunities for little pleasures that are available. remember it is the small things of life that make up its enjoyment. once in a while at noon go to some especially nice lunch room where you will see well dressed women, where the service is faultless and every mouthful and every moment enjoyable. you will come away filled with such a sense of well-being that you will be able to accomplish twice as much in the way of work. many business girls do not entertain themselves well enough. they become so imbued with the spirit of economy that they deny themselves the little pleasures that would make life enjoyable. this reacts upon their work and ability. these people who continually stint themselves never achieve great success. they repress themselves so much that they quell all their best impulses. they never expand. learn self-control. anger is a rapid wrinkle bringer. the energy that is wasted in useless worry and tirade against circumstances might be conserved and diverted into other channels that would bring you abundant reward, financially as well as in other ways. avoid worry, hurry and getting flustered. plan your work in the morning, then take the little interruptions coolly and quietly. you will not be half so tired at the end of the day as you would be otherwise. be temperate. moderation does not refer only to the stomach. overdoing in any way makes for premature age. do not let yourself get sluggish and indifferent. here is where the benefits of massage, physical culture and a vital interest in life come in. youth is happiness! if you would be young, radiate happiness. talk happiness not ill-health. one certain symptom of advancing age is the desire to talk about ill-health. discussing operations you have undergone or sickness you have experienced always attracts attention to your age. children seldom talk about ill-health. an illness once conquered is forgotten. another thing, do not whine. the american women are noted for their unpleasant voices, which often are too high pitched, showing lack of control. cultivate a low, well-modulated voice. recently i met a young woman who had a deformed body and a plain face, but i immediately was attracted to her because she had the most beautiful speaking voice it ever was my privilege to hear. as we age in years we are liable to grow careless in our dress, to select colors and styles that are not very becoming; we do not take as much pains with our hair, our nails or our shoes as we should. we have allowed age to manifest itself in the lack of care of the little things. finally, if your work does not bring you happiness, you are in the wrong place and the sooner you find the right place the better for you. it is impossible to take a race horse and expect to make him a good plow horse. we only would spoil the one without succeeding in obtaining the other. there is a right place for everyone and each one is adapted to certain things and in order to accomplish the most we must "find ourselves." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ index abortions, accidental, criminal, prevalence, , sterility following, advertisements, misleading, advertising physicians, after-birth, amenorrhoea, anatomy of generative organs, anus, atrophy of generative organs, backache, displacement causing, fake advertisements concerning, gonorrhoea causing, lumbago, rheumatism, strain, bag of waters, birth canal, black plagues, see gonorrhoea and syphilis causing tumors, bladder, openings into, position in relation to womb, blindness, due to gonorrhoea, infection, prevalence of in new born, blue baby, blues, born with caul or veil, boys, need of instruction, why boys go astray, breasts, after menopause, in pregnancy, at puberty, cancer, carcinoma, cathartics, cavity of pelvis, cavity of womb, openings into, , change of life, see menopause child bearing period, childless homes, chlorosis, circumcision in girls, clandestine engagements, clap, see gonorrhoea. clitoris, hooded, causing nervousness and immorality, coitus, conception, prevention of, congestion from tight clothing, constipation, caused by retroversion, , causes, cord, cramps during menopause, development of life, diseases of female organs, influence on appearance, venereal diseases, displacements, causes of, backward, constipation caused by, bladder, pressure on, downward, side, forward, hemorrhoids caused by, menstruation, relation to, treatment, divorce, black plagues as a factor, sterility as a factor, douche, for cleanliness, at close of period, in irritation of vagina, drug habit, from patent medicines, in constipation, dry labor, dysmenorrhoea, education, lack of for girls, egg, see ovum. embryo, embryology, epilepsy due to syphilis, excesses cause of premature old age, causing congestion, during early married life, exercise for business woman, for home woman, external generative organs, description, care, fake advice, fallopian tubes, description, position, effect of gonorrhoea on, removal, effect of, sterility from removal, tumors of, father's duty to son, fear, needless, fertilization of ovum, , flirtations and their results, foetal movements, foetus, gonorrhoea effect on female organs, persistence of in later years, prevalence of, prevention of in youth, symptoms, green sickness, happiness necessary, headache, from constipation, from displacements, powders, heart valves of baby, hemorrhage in cancer, hemorrhoids, bleeding, external, internal, pain from, from constipation, retrodisplacements causing, treatment, herb remedies as drugs, heredity, inherited tendency to disease, tuberculosis, syphilis, home-making a study, homes, childless, girls not interested in parents' home, hot flashes during menopause, hymen, not injured by douche, opening in, unruptured in pregnancy, illegitimacy, immorality, due to low wages, effects of, among children, in country districts, in school, due to hooded clitoris, indigestion, inflammation causing dysmenorrhoea, inherited syphilis, intercourse, insemination, jealousy, kiss conveying contagion, knee chest position, for constipation and hemorrhoids, labia majora and minora, labor, dry, duration of, pains, cause of, premature, lanugo, law regarding prevention of pregnancy, laxatives, leucorrhoea, in young girls, life feeling, love, misunderstood, lumbago, backache in, lungs of newborn child, maidenhead, see hymen. malignant tumor, marriage, education necessary for, fake marriages used to obtain white slaves, false promises leading to immorality, for convenience, natural, laws not adequate, relation, science of, successful and otherwise, social reasons for, massage, for constipation, mating, meatus urinarius, medical, fake advertisements, medicine, doubtful results from, patent, membrane, menstruation, absence of, bathing during, care during, color, odor, composition of flow, deficiency of, description of, duration of, frequency, , lassitude during, pain during, , phenomena common to, profuse flow, quantity, time between periods, sign of approach of period, source of flow, menopause, age, bowels in, breasts after, cancer at, care during, symptoms of approach, changes in body, nervous system, duration, diet, end of child-bearing period, hot flashes during, necessity for examination, relaxation, rest, worry during, miscarriage, modesty, false, motherhood, accidental, a science, preparation for, fear regarding, natural desire of all women, mucous patches in syphilis, nerve trouble, due to syphilis, nervousness a lack of control, due to hooded clitoris, overcoming, relation to intercourse, neuralgia, backache, causing dysmenorrhoea, ovary, description, function, position, tumor, see tumor. oviduct, see fallopian tube, ovum, relation to menstruation, division into portions, growth, passage from ovary to uterus, impregnation, size, passion or sex sense, parents' duty to daughters, to sons, patent medicine, of doubtful benefit, pelvis, deformed in abortions, peritoneum, peritonitis, from displacement and inflammation of womb, from gonorrhoea, from appendicitis, perineum, tearing during labor, , physiology of female organs, piles, see hemorrhoids. placenta, position of foetus in utero, pregnancy, absence of menstruation, among unmarried girls, fertilization before, prevention of, premature birth, labor, prostitution, result of, puberty, change in nervous system, hygiene during, school work during, premonitory symptoms, signs of approach, preparatory information, necessity for, public cup, pus tubes, see fallopian tubes. race improvement, race suicide, education in relation to, not increased by knowledge of means of prevention, rectum, position in relation to womb, in retrodisplacement, regulation of number of children, relaxation, rest, rheumatism, backache, dysmenorrhoea due to, sac, sanitary pads, self-abuse, hooded clitoris as a cause, mental, nervous system injured, treatment, self-confidence, self-control, semen, sex, education needed regarding, , fundamental end of, over-indulgence, instinct, instruction for children, organs formed fourth month, skin disease due to syphilis, sleep, sleeplessness, treatment, spermatozoon, death due to disease, union with ovum, size, sterility after one birth, due to abortions, due to gonorrhoea, due to indiscretions, in male, stomach trouble due to syphilis, syphilis, causing abortions, causing epilepsy, brain and skin lesions, contracted from wet nurse, conveyed by kiss, by public cup, inherited, , late symptoms, prevention in youth, treatment, tears of perineum, necessity for repair, relation to cancer, teas, laxative, tomboys, toxines from constipation, tubes, see fallopian tubes. tumor, abdominal, caused by black plagues, absorption of, removal, causing dysmenorrhoea, hemorrhoidal, malignant, phantom, symptoms of, hemorrhage, pain in, ulcers in syphilis, umbilical cord, urethra, urination, frequent, caused by displacement, uterus, see womb. vagina, description of, discharge from, infection from use of public towels, irritation of, orifice of, vein of cord, vernix caseosa, venereal diseases, vibrator for constipation, wet nurse in syphilis, womb, attachment, cancer of, congestion from tight clothing, contraction of mouth, inflammation from displacements, position, size, structure, shape, over work causing congestion, wild oats, sown by girls, white slavery, women in business, worry, an abuse, youth, obtainable, ------------------------------------------------------------------------ by e. b. lowry, m.d. himself talks with men concerning themselves this is regarded by all authorities as the best book on sexual hygiene for men. no man knowing its contents would be without this important book. it tells plainly all of the facts about sex and leads to health, happiness and success. a book that points the way to strong vitality and healthy manhood. every man ought to read this excellent, reliable book.--_philadelphia telegraph._ the best book on sexual hygiene for men and we highly commend it.--_baltimore american._ the more widely this splendid book is read the better it will be for men and women.--_boston globe._ every youth and man who can read the english language should study this book.--_portland oregonian._ a rare book that treats its subject in a common-sense fashion.--_pittsburgh post._ this is a storehouse of knowledge that should be in the hands of every man.--_united states medical journal._ it is utterly free from hysteria and sticks straight to the unadulterated truth. a valuable addition to any man's library.--_spokane chronicle._ it is as good a book as a physician could recommend.--_northwest medicine._ clear, accurate, easily understood.--_chicago journal._ _illustrated. cloth, mo._ price, $ . net; by mail, $ . _for sale by all booksellers and the publishers_ forbes & co., s. dearborn st., chicago ------------------------------------------------------------------------ by e. b. lowry, m.d. confidences talks with a young 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[transcriber's note: i have not modernized spelling that appears consistent within this book.] women as sex vendors or why women are conservative (being a view of the economic status of woman) by r. b. tobias and mary e. marcy chicago charles h. kerr & company co-operative copyright by charles h. kerr & company contents page why women are conservative youth and maid the evolution of the family the future women as sex vendors why women are conservative we have often heard discussions of the reason we do not find women, as a sex, in the vanguard of world affairs; why the great educators, strong figures in progressive or revolutionary movements, are men rather than women; why these movements, themselves, are made up almost entirely of men rather than women. people have asked over and over again why, in the fields of the arts, the sciences, in the world of "practical affairs," men, rather than women, generally excel. we believe the answer lies in the fact that women, as a sex, are the owners of a commodity vitally necessary to the health and well-being of man. women occupy a more fortunate biologic, and in many countries, a more fortunate economic position, in the increasingly intensified struggle for existence. and the preferred class, the biologically and economically favored class, or sex, has rarely been efficient-to-do, has never been revolutionary to attack a social system that accords advantage to it. as a sex, women have rarely been rebels or revolutionists. we do not see how they can ever be as long as there exists any system of exploitation to revolt against. revolt comes from the submerged, never from the group occupying a favored place. today the revolutionist is he who has nothing to sell but his labor power. the skilled trade union group is least revolutionary among the workers. the best paid unions are not the most militant in acts calculated to improve the conditions of even their own group, and are least aggressive in conduct for improving the conditions of the whole working class. so long as they occupy a more favorable position in the industrial world, the trade unions will have something to conserve. they become conservative. we see the small, struggling farmers, who have probably very little to lose in this world save their debts and their mortgages, counting themselves in a class of possible property owners and small exploiters, and generally throwing their support into movements promising petty reforms, when nothing but the abolition, or downfall of the system of private ownership in the means of production and distribution, can possibly help them. the petty shop-keepers rail more against the "outrageously" high wages and the short hours of the skilled workers than against the large business organizations, like the packing interests, or the great monopolies, that hold them constantly on the edge of failure. desperately and consistently, as they behold their competitors forced out in the irresistible march of centralization, they cling to their sinking ships, their small deceits and petty ideology in the hope of one day winning out against the terrific odds opposed to them, and landing high and dry in the capitalist class. no shoe dealer in the darkest side street of the smallest village but hopes some day to leave his dingy shop behind and to climb into the class economically above him. he counts himself a man of business, and thinks and acts and goes down to failure, individualistically. he hates and fears his competitors, ascribes most of his wrongs to them or to the highly paid skilled workers, and apes and envies the men whom he sees rising to wealth in the economic conflict. as a sex, women occupy a position similar to the petty shop-keeper, because they possess a commodity to sell or to barter. men, as a sex, are buyers of, or barterers for, this commodity. the general attitude on this question of sex may be, and in fact usually is, wholly unconscious; but the fact remains that men and women meet each other, in the capitalist system, as buyers and sellers of, or barterers for, a commodity. scarcely anybody recognizes this fact, and those who sense it fail to understand the inevitable result upon society and upon women themselves. there is no office or saloon scrub-woman so displeasing and decrepit, no stenographer so old and so unattractive, no dish-washer so sodden, that she does not know, tucked far away in her inner consciousness, perhaps, that, if the very worst comes and she loses her job, there is the truck driver or the office clerk, the shaky-legged bar patron on the road to early locomotor ataxia, or the squint-eyed out-of-town salesman, who can be counted on to tide her over an emergency--usually for goods delivered. when a man is out of a job and broke, he is flat on his back. his appetites, his desires cry out for satisfaction exactly as they did when he had money in his pockets to pay for the satisfaction of these appetites and these desires. when a woman loses a job, she has always the sale of her sex to fall back upon as a last resort. please understand that this is in no way a criticism of the conduct of women. we desire to lay no stigma upon them. we lay no stigma upon any class or sex or group, for down at bottom, men and women do what they do because they have to do it. the more we understand the economic and biological status of any group, the more we see they are compelled to act, under the circumstances, and in the environment they occupy, precisely as they do act. in the struggle for existence today the laurels are only to those who use any and all methods to save themselves. we only want to point out that women =are able= to save themselves because of their "favored" position in the biological world. since economic interest and economic control are at the basis of all social institutions, we want to show some of the results of this sex monopoly possessed by women, and required by men. every group which possesses anything which is necessary to the health and well-being of any other group, is bound to be pursued, wooed, bribed, paid. the monopolistic class, or sex, in turn, learns to withhold, to barter, to become "uncertain, coy and hard to please," to enhance and raise the price of her commodity, even though the economic basis of the transaction be utterly concealed or disguised. all this is exactly as natural and inevitable as a group of wage workers demanding all they can get in payment for their labor power, or the land-owner holding up the farm renters for all the tenants will bear, or the broker selling to the highest bidder. no one is to be blamed. the private possession of a commodity necessary to man, the lower cost of living for women, are the natural causes of lower wages for women than for men, and explains why women are actually able to live on lower wages, as a sex, than men. few people speak frankly about sex matters today. and still fewer understand them and their economic basis. the subject of sex is clothed in pretense. we discuss women philosophically, idealistically, sometimes from the viewpoint of biology, but never from an economic =and= a biological standpoint, which is the only scientific basis from which to regard them. everywhere in the animal world except among humankind, the male possesses the gay and attractive plumage, the color and form to please the eye. naturally he should possess them. but this is not so in the world of man. here we find the woman decorating herself in the colorful garb. woman has ceased to ask, "is he beautiful?" she asks "what does he =own=?" or, "how much can he =pay=?" men love to dress their women in expensive clothes, to provide them with luxurious surroundings, because this advertises to the world the fact that they are able to purchase a superior, i. e., a higher priced commodity. women give much time and spend money extravagantly in articles of conspicuous waste for the simple reason that by so doing they announce the fact that =they= are finer than other women, higher priced, of a fancier brand, possessed of better wares. everybody knows that the office clerk who aspires to the affections of an artistically gowned, jewel decked young woman, often spends most of his wages upon her in the hope of winning her attention. his office associates may describe her as "fancy," or speak of her as "an expensive package." and so the twenty dollar-a-week clerk magnifies his "income" in order to bribe the young lady into "giving herself" to him in exchange for his name and some sort of life-long support, provided he can produce it. how many young wives have learned, to their chagrin, of the deceits thus practiced upon them by their husbands! alas! the scenes that are enacted when it is discovered, after the ceremony, that the diamond engagement ring is not yet paid for, and that the mahogany furniture in the new flat so joyously selected by the young bride-elect, was bought upon the installment plan! that john earns only twenty dollars a week in the shipping room instead of the fifty a week he had declared, as assistant manager! here the man has not paid as promised and every one feels that the woman has made a "bad bargain." on the other hand, women disguise the economic basis of the deal in every possible way; lie, cheat and compete in a life and death struggle with others of their sex. a thousand illusions, tricks, subtleties, hypocrisies are employed to cover the bald fact that wares are being displayed, are being bidden for by other men. the deal is smothered in chivalrous urbanities and sentimental verbiage. unnumbered circumlocutions are resorted to, to conceal the salesmanship of one who has a commodity to sell. monogamy for wives when certain strong men found themselves able to garner a larger share of property than their fellows, they rebelled against the communistic ownership of property, and the state, with the system of =private= ownership, was evolved, came into being to protect the private owners in their private ownership =against= the community, or the mass, which possessed no private property. wealthy men then began to desire to leave their fortunes to their own children and so the marriage system, with theoretical monogamy for both sexes and practical monogamy for wives, arose. men of property then felt tolerably certain that their wealth would descend to their own sons and to the sons of no others. we are not inclined to believe this was due to the prevalence of any so-called =paternal= instinct. paternal instinct is, we suspect, a minus, rather than a plus, quantity. it seems to us that fathers more often learn to love their children through following the conduct prescribed by good form and pretending to love them, or through love of display, pride or by =association=, than through any "natural tendency." the almost universality of the maternal instinct is proven by the peoples in the world today, for scarcely anybody would have a chance for existence if it were not for the care of the mothers. generally the coming of children is a handicap to a woman in the market in which nature and the present system have placed her. where this is the case, it is here that society, customs and laws speak for the family, in ways built up, sometimes blindly, sometimes consciously, to preserve the species, and upon the old biological and economic foundations. it is generally granted that women with children are more conservative than women without children. we believe this is true only when they and their children are provided for. when a mother is left with no one to support her children, she becomes more predatory than other women in the pursuit of a new provider. our jails and workhouses are full of unsuccessful mothers of this class, convicted of crimes against property. mothers are conservative when their children are secure; more predatory when they are in want. mothers often compete successfully in making their wares attractive and in binding the male by habits and associations that hold him and induce him to continue to pay. among men, the possession of, and ability to support a woman in perpetuity, whom no other may touch, is honorific, a high sign of display. it announces to the world that such a man is able to hold a trophy in the struggle for existence. a monogamous wife is, in fact, an emblem of well-off-ness, and greatly to be desired. a man does not wish to be one among a corporation of men owning a woman any more than he desires to be owner of a sixth part of an automobile. not because there is anything more intrinsically wrong in purchasing one-sixth than six-sixths, but because, in a world where the ownership of private property is the greatest of all good things, individual ownership denotes respectability, comfort, ability to buy outright. hence we have monogamy for wives and mistresses in general, and polygamy for men. for if it is honorific to possess one woman, it is still more proof of one's buying power to support half a dozen different establishments. besides, biologically, a man may require many women for the satisfaction of his desires. chastity why do young girls remain chaste before the importunities of their lovers and, perhaps, against their own desires, if not for the purpose of forcing or inducing them to offer the sure and permanent price of matrimony? do not all respectable and well-meaning parents (and others not so respectable) seek gently to guide their daughters into safe matrimonial harbors where they barter themselves for a respectable meal-ticket, or an income, presumably, for life? they would be shocked beyond measure if you told them that back of all their exalted mummeries, they desired to see their daughters barter their sex for the highest and most enduring stake rather than to see them selling their labor or brain power for wages, or selling their sex on the installment, or retail plan, to the chance purchaser. yet these are the facts. and it is this hope of bartering their sex privileges for permanent support and the title of "wife" that keeps the girls of the working class in the same category as the small shop-keeper. nearly every ordinary woman under ninety hopes some day to find a man who will marry her and support her for the rest of her days. instead of fitting herself for a trade or a profession, young women, and old women, devote their time to schemes for prevailing upon some man, to pay the ultimate price and marry them. and so women, not every individual, but as a =sex=, are ever individualistic, ever competing among themselves, ever displaying their wares, ever looking for a possible purchaser of the commodity they have to sell, ever endeavoring to keep the purchaser satisfied and willing to pay more. human beings are human =animals= however much we may pretend to the contrary. in the rest of the animal world the fact of the mating season is frankly acknowledged. it has never been recognized among humankind within the period of written history. is it possible that when women are released from economic and social coercion, this periodic mating instinct in the woman of the species may assert, or reassert, itself? wives and mistresses often submit to their husbands or lovers only through fear of losing economic security to the ever alert competitor. it is certain that when all men and all women have gained individual economic opportunity and security, social institutions will change also. may it not be possible that the jealousies now prevalent, because of the economic import or the social standing that the private claim on the individual brings, may vanish also? which is superior? but do not imagine for a single moment that women are inferior to men. biology has long since proven that daughters inherit the same natural tendencies from their fathers and their grandfathers, their mothers and their grandmothers that sons do. in the case of the girls it is only as it would be if the sons in a family all inherited a share in the monopoly of a commodity that half the human race requires. the son of your butcher may have all the nervous and intellectual capacities of thomas edison, or dr. e. l. thorndyke. perhaps he has. but the economic environment in which he is born will give him small opportunity to so prove himself. women are intellectually capable of all that men can do. they always will be because the paternal branch of the family bequeathes to its daughters the same natural tendencies and capacities that are the heritage of its sons. it is biologically impossible for sons to inherit the cumulative capacities of their fathers =alone= just as it is biologically impossible for the daughters to inherit from their mothers alone. so that, at birth, it appears that both sexes must remain on an equal footing so far as heredity is concerned. but the social and economic environment differentiates. boys and girls =learn= to differ more than they differ physically at birth. we believe it is due to the fact that woman, biologically possessed of a necessary commodity, something to sell besides her labor power, leans and reckons upon this ownership, which prevents her, not individually, but as a sex, from taking an active and permanent part in the affairs and workshops of the world today. there are exceptions to the rule, of course. and often, unconsciously, perhaps, she seeks to excel in the fields occupied by the men who surround her, for the purpose of enhancing her wares. it is to be remembered that in nearly all phases of the relations between men and women, both are almost always at least partially unconscious of the economic basis of the bargain they make, although, legally, marriage is a contract. here society and social institutions protect the possible future mothers of the race. we are in no way denying the existence of affection between the sexes. we see undoubted instances of self-sacrifice (in the economic sense) on the part of women everywhere. we are not gainsaying these. we only claim that the root of the relation of the sexes in america is today the economic basis of buyers and sellers of a commodity and that this basis of sex, sold as a commodity, affects every phase of our social life, and all of our social institutions, and that we fail to recognize these economic roots because of the leaves upon the social tree. why, do you imagine, the woman who brings to a penniless husband, not only herself but a fortune as well, is looked down upon in many countries? why is the woman of the streets, who spends her sex earnings upon her lover, scorned universally? is it not because both are unconsciously violating the =code=, or the trade "understandings," in =giving= not only of themselves, but their substance as well? these women are selling below the market, or scabbing on the job. youth and maid it is customary to speak of youth as the period of rebellion or revolt. but to us it seems to be the normal age of conquest. youth is the world's eternal and undaunted conqueror. no matter what the odds, no matter how slim the chances of success in any undertaking, youth dares. experience and wisdom =know=, fear and hesitate. youth rushes in and--sometimes--finds a way. people speak of the colossal egotism of youth. it is not egotism; it is unfathomable ignorance. the youth knows neither himself, the world nor his adversaries. he is unafraid because he does not know the strength of the forces he would conquer. but society learns from the threshings about of its individuals. and it is the young who thresh about. mailed in their own ignorance, and propelled by their own marvelous energy, the young go forth to conquer. and so the world learns many things. youth rebels only when it is thwarted in entering the lists and may then turn the flood of its activities into channels of rebellion or revolt against authority. the boy revolts when his father declines to permit him to accomplish the impossible, to invent, discover, explore, to overwhelm. it seems to him that if he received encouragement and help instead of censure at home, the son of the house would soon be recognized by the world as one of the great ones of the earth. when he finds his talents unappreciated, he usually decides to write a book that will influence the whole future course of human events, or a novel that will alter dynasties and change social systems; or he decides to become a powerful political leader, or the silver-tongued orator of the times. thwarted youth may aspire to become the world's greatest rebel, or the most heroic victim of despotic authority. even in rebellion youth aspires to conquer the heights, though it be through the depths. a boy finds consolation in planning to become the world's greatest hero or martyr when he is thwarted in becoming an epoch-making inventor, or discoverer. this on the male side of the house. the daughter aspires to beauty, lovely clothes, charm, or to stardom on the theatrical or operatic stage, achievements and characteristics which mean popularity and the ultimate disposal of her wares to the highest available bidder. listen to a group of boys talking among themselves. you will probably add some useful knowledge to your mental equipment, for you will hear them discussing feats in civil engineering, problems in electricity, mechanics, physics, chemistry, surgery, as well as events in the world of sports. on the other hand, the conversations among girls are almost entirely on the subject of boys, men, clothes and the theatre. the psychology of the sexes in youth is totally different. the ideas of the average young man are those of one who expects to become some day a =producer= or at least a =worker=; the ideas of the average young woman are those of one who =expects= and =intends= (for here, too, youth sees only personal victory) to rise into the leisure, non-producing or =supported= class. the small boy sent forth to play with his comrades with his hair done up in curls by a fond mama, would encounter the jeers of the whole neighborhood. from babyhood, the ribbons, curls, frills and silks are for the girls, who are thereby rendered deeply conscious of their appearance and taught above all things to keep themselves clean and "looking nice." nothing is sacred from the invasion of small boys, who climb in, and under and over all obstacles to discover what makes the wheels go around, while the small girls sit about and take care of their clothes and learn to count them of supreme importance. and the matter of clothes =is= a vital one to the woman of today. clothes are the frame that enhances the picture as well as its price tag; they are the carton wrapping the package in the show window, the case that best displays the jewel for sale within. all our social institutions encourage girls and young women, and all women up to the age of ninety, or more, in believing that it is the supreme good for a woman to make the best possible matrimonial bargain. on the stage, in our press, and pulpit, in the books and magazines produced for the consumption of the young people in this country, marriage is nearly always represented as the safe, ultimate and greatly-to-be-desired haven for a woman. hence, young women, intent upon securing the best the world has to offer, rarely take any sort of work seriously. they regard jobs as merely temporary conveniences, or inconveniences. the wise employer hires ugly women stenographers, when he cannot afford to engage men, because he knows they usually possess more brains than their lovely sisters, and because they remain longer. the beautiful woman sees no need for intelligence nor for understanding because she has always been able to outstrip her less attractive competitors in making the best match and securing the rich husbands. and so her neurones rarely "connect," or react, except to stimuli pertaining to things that will enhance her charms and increase her selling price. the young man expects to accomplish something in the world, to earn much money, or "high position," in order to be able to marry the most charming girl. the "most charming girl," if she be temporarily forced to earn her own living, =expects= to find somebody who will marry her, give her more luxuries than she has been accustomed to, and lift her far above her companions. she hopes to become a member of the leisure class even if she never attains it. arnold bennett says that men usually marry through the desire to mate, while women marry for economic reasons. it seems to us that this is often true. women are =potential= parasites even if they never become real ones, and this is the gist of the matter we are discussing. why are nearly all small farmers reactionary, individualistic, distrustful, competitive? because they hope some day to become gentleman farmers. why are most small business men narrow, egoistic, conservative? for the reason that they hope one day to become men of big business. the young woman in america today possesses the same psychology. being young, she not only =hopes=, she =expects=, to rise into the leisure class when some young man asks her for the privilege of supporting her through life. we are making no claim that the lot of millions of housekeeping mothers, married to working men, is more enviable than is the condition of their husbands. we merely wish to point out that millions of women, potentially, actually, or psychologically, =are= "of the leisure class," and that =fact= and =expectation= keep women, as a sex, allied to the forces of reaction. when a woman is competing in a life and death struggle among a score of other young women, to make a permanent legal bargain which entails the promise of an income or support for life, she has little leisure or energy to spare in making over, or revolutionizing the present social system. the mind of the average woman today is that of the petty shop-keeper. entertaining, ofttimes, impossible dreams, these dreams, are, nevertheless, productive of a conservative and bourgeois ideology of a life of leisure and non-productiveness. it was the machine process in production that permitted the rise of a parasitical, or leisure, class. as long as both men and women were forced to produce things in order to live, an exploiting class, that lives off the labor of others, was impossible. but as spinning, weaving, canning, soap-making, butter, bread, candle, clothes-making and a hundred other functions formerly performed by women in the home, were absorbed into the factories, the young girls often followed the old task into the new plant. this was also true of the boys on the farms, who turned toward the cities and entered factories, where hogs were slaughtered, farm machines manufactured, or where shoes were made. but the farm youths expected to become permanent producers in the shops and mills; they sought to become able to support a woman, and, perhaps, children. the girls entering the factories, on the other hand, did so to earn money to help pay their expenses at home until they married, or in order to buy gay and expensive clothes, unconsciously, perhaps, for advertising as well as decorative purposes. the evolution of the family undoubtedly the early savages drew together for self-protection against their forest enemies. and out of this necessity grew the love of society. man became a gregarious animal. promiscuity in sexual intercourse among these herds was another factor for holding the tribes, or groups together. in his "origin of the family," frederick engels says: "the development of the family is founded on the continual contraction of the circle, originally comprising the whole tribe, within which marital intercourse between both sexes was general. by the continual exclusion, first of near, then of ever remoter relatives, including finally even those who were simply related legally, all group marriage becomes practically impossible. at last only one couple, temporarily and loosely united, remains ... even from this we may infer how little the sexual love of the individual in the modern sense of the word had to do with the origin of monogamy." any casual student of sociology can prove that marriage and the family have not always been what they are today. lewis j. morgan, in his well-known work, "ancient society," says: "when the fact is accepted that the family has passed through four successive forms, and is now in a fifth, the question at once arises whether this form can be permanent in the future. the only answer that can be given is that it must advance as society advances, and change as society changes, even as it has done in the past. it is the creature of the social system and will reflect its culture." engels says: "we have three main forms of the family, corresponding in general to the three main stages of human development. for savagery group marriage, for barbarism the pairing family, for civilization, monogamy supplemented by adultery and prostitution." the pairing family "a certain pairing for a longer or shorter term took place even during the group marriage or still earlier. a man had his principal wife among other women, and he was to her the principal husband among others.... such a habitual pairing would gain ground the more the gens developed and the more numerous the classes of "brothers" and "sisters" became who were not permitted to marry one another.... "by this increasing complication of marriage restrictions, group marriage became more and more impossible; it was displaced by the pairing family. "the communistic household, in which most or all the women belong to one and the same gens, while the husbands come from different gentes, is the cause and foundation of the general and widespread supremacy of women in primeval times. "it is one of the most absurd notions derived from eighteenth century enlightenment that in the beginning of society woman was the slave of man. among all savages and barbarians of the lower and middle stages, sometimes even of the higher stage, women not only have freedom but are held in high esteem." in writing of the pairing family among the iroquois, arthur wright says: "as to their families, at a time when they still lived in their old long houses (communistic households of several families) ... a certain clan (gens) always reigned so that the women chose their husbands from other clans. the female part generally ruled the house; the provisions were held in common; but woe to the luckless husband or lover who was too indolent or too clumsy to contribute his share to the common stock. no matter how many children or how much private property he had in the house, he was liable at any moment to receive a hint to gather up his belongings and get out. and he could not dare to venture any resistance; the house was made too hot for him and he had no other choice but to return to his own clan or, as was mostly the case, to look for another wife in some other clan. the women were the dominating power in the clans and everywhere else." bachofen discovered that in the communistic household, the supremacy of woman was caused by the fact that the women all belonged to the same gens while the men came from different gentes. during this period the children belonged to the same gens as the mother and took her name. at this time man's tools and weapons were yet crude and they were his only possession. the woman owned the household goods and utensils, the value of which for the preservation and preparation of food was very great. bachofen has shown how women were strong factors in the demand for monogamy through this and the earlier periods. man learned to till the soil and to domesticate animals; he captured enemies from neighboring tribes and learned to make slaves instead of food of them. and the conqueror became a master, and the slave an instrument of production. it was the men who were lucky enough to be first to enslave the enemy, to acquire more precious metals and larger flocks, who evolved the state, to protect them against the commune, or the mass, in their ownership of private property. at the death of the father his own children were disinherited, in the matriarchy. as increasing wealth strengthened the position of man, he began to desire to overthrow the old maternal law and to establish a new one that would permit inheritance in favor of his children. and so monogamy became the law, and descent was traced by male instead of female lineage. engels says that "the downfall of maternal law was the historic defeat of the female sex." in order to insure the faithfulness of the wife, and the reliability of paternal lineage, the women were given absolutely into the power of the men. husbands had power of life and death over their wives. in certain countries today it is only the man who can dissolve the marriage bonds and cast off his wife. but gradually the old standards which were applied to men and women are changing. new laws are written on our statute books. civil laws protecting male rule apply only to the wealthy classes and their intercourse with the working class. in sex relations the sentiment, in america particularly, has swung around in favor of woman. undoubtedly her growing economic independence, arising from her ability to support herself in shop and factory, has had some influence on this social attitude. also, one can imagine the feelings of the tax-payers of a small community when the father of several small children deserted his wife and the expenses of supporting his family devolved upon them. it would call for little imagination to picture these respectable members of society scrambling to pass laws for the punishment of the errant one and to force him back to his wife and support-producing labor. but, basically, the legal favoritism which has arisen in the past thirty years in america, is probably due to a desire on the part of the employing class to protect and make secure the mothers of children for the sake of the future labor supply. only recently a great national reform body, dedicated to child welfare, declared frankly that there are "no illegitimate" children; that the misdeeds of parents can remove nothing from the legality of birth and that unmarried mothers must be granted some legal status and a measure of economic security for the sake of the future supply of labor. it is evident, whether due to one cause or to many, that the law, which usually protects those who possess bestowable favors, has gradually built up strong protective measures for women. among the rich, men and women find protection for their property in the laws, according to the measure of their economic power, but among the wage working and middle classes, woman occupies a privileged legal position. as long as a husband possesses anything, his wife may be certain of support or an "adequate" income at least. the husband may be punished for his lack of possessions, or his failure to produce an income. the marriage contract of course, every one knows that marriage is a legal contract; but whom does it bind? certainly not the woman, nor any woman in america. for she may easily free herself and even divorce and penalize her husband if she is dissatisfied either with him or his earnings; or she may evade all the obligations she is supposed to meet, almost always with absolute impunity. whatever she may do or leave undone in the marriage relation, if it but be with sufficient pretense and discretion, in america, at least, the world and the courts absolve her from all blame. if she be discreet, she may entertain lovers galore; she may refuse to perform any of the theoretical duties of the home; she may refuse to bear children or to surrender to her husband, without censure, and often without the knowledge of the world. if she be addicted to drunkenness, people will divine that her husband must have treated her brutally; if she be seen with other men, folks suspect that he neglects her. if her husband seeks satisfaction for his desires elsewhere, she may divorce him and secure alimony; if he deserts her the law will return him to her side, if it can find him. if he fails to bring home the wherewithall to provide for her, she may have him sent to jail. if she discovers that he is getting the affection and the sex life which she has denied him, outside of his home, and if she buys a revolver and murders him in cold blood, the jury will exonerate her. if a wife deserts her husband and her children, the law does not make her a criminal; for wife abandonment, the husband is held criminally liable. no matter what the offense of the woman, custom and public opinion demand that every "decent" man permit his wife to accuse him on "just grounds" and to secure the divorce and call on the law to force him to pay her alimony for the rest of their natural lives. no matter what the provocation, legally or sentimentally, no man can be exonerated for killing a woman. no matter how little the provocation, legally or sentimentally, any woman may kill almost any man, and the jury will render a verdict of not guilty. she has only to say that he "deceived her." a husband may become crippled or invalided and there is no law even suggesting that it is the duty of his wife to support him; most communities would lynch a man who neglected a sick or helpless wife, and the law would certainly deal most harshly with him. the law throws no safeguards about the man, to protect him against his wife's failure to live up to her theoretical marital obligations, to protect him when he is ill, or in the enjoyment of separate maintenance, alimony, or against non-support or abandonment. the laws today protect the owners of property and the economically powerful. the more economic power a group, or a class, or a sex possesses, the more the state throws the mantle of its protective laws about it. women are owners of a commodity for which men are buyers or barterers, and our modern laws protect woman at the expense of man. in his "origin of the family," engels says: "the supremacy of man in marriage is simply the consequence of his economic superiority and will fall with the abolition of the latter." in a large per cent of the american homes, man no longer possesses any economic superiority. he has four vital needs to satisfy while woman has only three, and woman possesses, for barter, for sale, or for gift, the wherewithall to satisfy one of these. few men any longer possess any property worthy of the name; hence, they are forced to sell their labor power for wages to keep from starving. and men are not always able to secure jobs. the propertyless woman today is rarely reduced to starvation. if the price (or wages) offered for the sale of her laboring power are unsatisfactory, she may always supplement them through the barter or sale of her sex. that there are no women hoboes in the civilized world today is incontestable proof of the superiority of the economic status of woman over man. the future we still hear people talk about the relations of the sexes, the family and marriage, as though these human and social relationships had always been and were bound to remain what they are today, whereas they have undergone far-reaching modifications within the period of our own lives. every change taking place in industry is always bound to send out infinite ramifications through every branch of our social institutions. the increasing specialization in industry, drawing more and more of the household arts out of the home and into factory, mill and shops, and the following of the jobs by women into the mills and factories, thus freeing woman from economic dependence on man, has already colored every branch of our social fabric. having become more independent, woman has grown more exacting. she demands a better bargain when she marries, or, refusing to barter, she chooses a mate. in the early days of america, when the home was the economic unit, and almost all industry was performed in the home and on the farm, women were economically dependent on men. then woman's place was undoubtedly in the home, since there was no place else where she could earn a living. modern industry has changed all that. women compete for jobs with men today, force down wages to a lower level and demand more from men before they will marry. and yet we see $ . a week stenographers giving up their positions to barter themselves, presumably for life, to $ . a week clerks or salesmen, rarely because of the mating instinct, but usually because of the personal triumph this means in the competition between members of the sex, and the social approbation which marriage brings. the only certain thing the wisest man may say about our social institutions is that they have changed in the past and that they will continue to change, or be modified, or to pass away, in the future. in one short year, the war has altered some of our old institutions beyond recall. we believe that a continuation of the war for a considerable period will mean economic and social changes that will rock the world. and out of the storm and stress of things we doubt very much whether any of our existing social institutions will emerge intact--if it emerge at all. the family as it is known in america today, the marriage contract, the relations of the sexes are bound to alter as they reflect changed economic conditions. some of the old "pillars of the social structure" in russia have already crumbled away. women are becoming ever more necessary and important in the role they play in industry. with this growing economic importance, and with the increasing need of capitalism for more children to augment the labor and military supply, the power of women will probably increase marvelously during the next few years. governments will reward the surrender of woman to man, while employers compete among themselves for her labor power. much will be offered to women. this, we believe, for only a brief period, for we cannot but think that the final results of this war--the fruit of the present system of production and distribution--will be the utter collapse of the system itself--making way for a new society wherein the only aristocracy shall be that of labor and of merit. undoubtedly, in the new society, conditions will be very much changed for women. but they will also be greatly changed for men. what the future sex relations will be, we do not pretend to know. perhaps the statement by frederick engels in his "origin of the family," is as good a forecast as any. he says: "what we may anticipate about the adjustment of sexual relations after the impending downfall of capitalist production is mainly of a negative nature and mostly confined to elements that will disappear. but what will be added? that will be decided after a new generation has come to maturity: a race of men who never in their lives have had any occasion for buying with money or other economic means of power the surrender of a woman; a race of women who have never had any occasion for surrendering to any man for any other reason but love, or for refusing to surrender to their lover from fear of economic consequences. once such people are in the world, they will not give a moment's thought to what we today believe should be their course. they will follow their own practice and fashion their own public opinion about the individual practice of every person--only this and nothing more." [illustration: the sanitarium at battle creek, mich.] [frontispiece: yours truly, j. h. kellogg] plain facts for old and young. by j. h. kellogg, m.d., member american public health association, american society for the advancement of science, american society of microscopy, member mich. state board of health, medical superintendent of the battle creek sanitarium, author of numerous works on health, etc. published by segner & condit, burlington, iowa. . entered, according to act of congress, in the year , by j. h. kellogg, m.d., in the office of the librarian of congress at washington, d.c. all rights reserved. preface. the publishers of this work offer no apology for presenting it to the reading public, since the wide prevalence of the evils which it exposes is sufficient warrant for its publication. the subjects with which it deals are of vital consequence to the human race; and it is of the utmost importance that every effort should be made to dispel the gross ignorance which almost universally prevails, by the wide diffusion, in a proper manner, of information of the character contained in this volume. this book has been written not for the young only, nor for any single class of persons, but for all who are old enough to be capable of understanding and appreciating it. the prime object of its preparation has been to call attention to the great prevalence of sexual excesses of all kinds, and the heinous crimes resulting from some forms of sexual transgression, and to point out the terrible results which inevitably follow the violation of sexual law. in order to make more clear and comprehensible the teachings of nature respecting the laws regulating the sexual function, and the evils resulting from their violation, it has seemed necessary to preface the practical part of the subject by a concise description of the anatomy of reproduction. in this portion of the work especial pains has been taken to avoid anything like indelicacy of expression, yet it has not been deemed advisable to sacrifice perspicuity of ideas to any prudish notions of modesty. it is hoped that the reader will bear in mind that the language of science is always chaste in itself, and that it is only through a corrupt imagination that it becomes invested with impurity. the author has constantly endeavored to impart information in the most straightforward, simple, and concise manner. the work should be judiciously circulated, and to secure this the publishers will take care to place it in the hands of agents competent to introduce it with discretion; yet it may be read without injury by any one who is sufficiently mature to understand it. great care has been taken to exclude from its pages those accounts of the habits of vicious persons, and descriptions of the mechanical accessories of vice, with which many works upon sexual subjects abound. the first editions of the work were issued with no little anxiety on the part of both author and publishers as to how it would be received by the reading public. it was anticipated that no little adverse criticism, and perhaps severe condemnation, would be pronounced by many whose education and general mode of thought had been such as to unfit them to appreciate it; but it was hoped that persons of more thoughtful and unbiased minds would receive the work kindly, and would readily co-operate with the publishers in its circulation. this anticipation has been more than realized. wherever the book has been introduced, it has met with a warm reception; and of the several thousand persons into whose hands the work has been placed, hundreds have gratefully acknowledged the benefit which they have received from its perusal, and it is hoped that a large proportion have been greatly benefited. the cordial reception which the work has met from the press everywhere has undoubtedly contributed in great measure to its popularity. the demand for the work has exhausted several editions in rapid succession, and has seemed to require its preparation in the greatly enlarged and in every way improved form in which it now appears. the addition of two whole chapters for the purpose of bringing the subject directly before the minds of boys and girls in a proper manner, adds greatly to the interest and value of the work, as there seemed to be a slight deficiency in this particular in the former editions. j. h. k. battle creek, mich., _october, _. contents. page. introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _sex in living forms_. living beings--animals and vegetables--life force--reproduction-- spontaneous generation--simplest form of generation--hermaphrodism-- sex in plants--sex in animals--other sexual differences--men and women differ in form--modern mania for female pedestrianism-- , quarter miles in , quarter hours--a female walking-match--the male and female brain--vital organs of man and woman--woman less muscular, more enduring--a pathological difference--why a woman does not breathe like a man--the reproductive elements--sexual organs of plants-- polygamous flowers--the female organ of flowers--sexual organs of animals--the spermatozoon--the ovum--fecundation--fecundation in flowers--union of the ovum and zoosperm--curious modes of reproduction--human beings are developed buds--fecundation in hermaphrodites--development--unprotected development--partial protection of the ovum--development in the higher animals and in man-- the uterus--uterine gestation--the primitive trace--curious relations to lower animals--simplicity of early structures--the stages of growth-- duration of gestation--uterine life--how the unborn infant breathes-- parturition--changes in the child at birth--nursing--anatomy of the reproductive organs--male organs--the prostate gland--female organs-- puberty--influence of diet on puberty--brunettes naturally precocious-- remarkable precocity--premature development occasions early decay-- early puberty a cause for anxiety--changes which occur at puberty-- menstruation--nature of menstruation--a critical period--important hints--menorrhagia--dysmenorrhoea--amenorrhoea and chlorosis-- hysteria--prevention better than cure--extra-uterine pregnancy--twins-- monsters--hybrids--law of sex--heredity--ante-natal influences--law universal--a source of crime--circumcision--castration . . . . . . . _the sexual relations_. sexual precocity--astonishing ignorance--inherited passion--various causes of sexual precocity--senile sexuality--marriage--time to marry--application of the law of heredity--early marriage--mutual adaptation--disparity of age--courtship--long courtships-- flirtation--youthful flirtations--polygamy--polyandry--divorce-- who may not marry--do not be in a hurry. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _chastity_. mental unchastity--amativeness--unchaste conversation--causes of unchastity--early causes--diet vs. chastity--clerical lapses--tobacco and vice--bad books--idleness--dress and sensuality--how young women fall--fashion and vice--reform in dress needed--round dances--physical causes of unchastity--constipation--intestinal worms--local uncleanness--irritation of the bladder--modern modes of life . . . . _continence_. continence not injurious--does not produce impotence--difficulty of continence--helps to continence--the will--diet--exercise--bathing-- religion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _marital excesses_. object of the reproductive functions--results of excesses--effects upon husbands--testimony of a french physician--continence of trainers--a cause of throat disease--a cause of consumption--effects on wives--the greatest cause of uterine disease--legalized murder-- indulgence during menstruation--effects upon offspring--indulgence during pregnancy--effect upon the character--a selfish objection-- brutes and savages more considerate--what may be done--early moderation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _prevention of conception_: its evils and dangers. conjugal onanism--"male continence"--shaker views--moral bearings of the question--unconsidered murders--the charge disputed--difficulties-- woman's rights--what to do--a compromise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _infanticide and abortion_. not a modern crime--causes of the crime--the nature of the crime-- instruments of crime--results of this unnatural crime--an unwelcome child--the remedy--murder by proxy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _the social evil_. unchastity of the ancients--causes of the "social evil"--libidinous blood--gluttony--precocious sexuality--man's lewdness--fashion--lack of early training--sentimental literature--poverty--ignorance--disease-- results of licentiousness--thousands of victims--effects of vice ineradicable--the only hope--hereditary effects of venereal disease-- man the only transgressor--origin of the foul disease--cure of the "social evil"--prevention the only cure--early training--teach self-control--mental culture--early associations . . . . . . . . . . _solitary vice_. alarming prevalence of the vice--testimony of eminent authors--not a modern vice--victims of all ages--unsuspected rottenness--causes of the habit--evil associations--corruption in schools--wicked nurses--not an uncommon case--the instructor in vice--local disease--an illustrative case--other physical causes--influence of stimulants-- signs of self-abuse--suspicious signs--general debility--early symptoms of consumption--premature and defective development--sudden change in disposition--lassitude--sleeplessness--failure of mental capacity-- fickleness--untrustworthiness--love of solitude--bashfulness--unnatural boldness--mock piety--confusion of ideas--round shoulders--weak backs-- pains in the limbs--stiffness of the joints--paralysis--gait--bad positions--lack of development of the breasts--capricious appetite-- eating clay--the use of tobacco--unnatural paleness--acne--biting the finger nails--palpitation of the heart--hysteria--chlorosis--epileptic fits--wetting the bed--unchastity of speech--positive signs--results of secret vice--effects in males--local effects--urethral irritation-- stricture--enlarged prostate--urinary diseases--priapism--piles-- prolapsus of rectum--extension of irritation--atrophy--varicocele-- nocturnal emissions--exciting causes--are occasional emissions necessary or harmless?--emissions not necessary to health--eminent testimony--diurnal emissions--cause of diurnal emissions--internal emissions--an important caution--impotence--general effects--general debility--consumption--dyspepsia--heart-disease--throat affections-- nervous diseases--epilepsy--failure of special senses--spinal irritation--insanity--a victim's mental condition pictured--effects in females--local effects--leucorrhoea--uterine disease--cancer of the womb--sterility--atrophy of mammae--pruritis--general effects--a common cause of hysteria--effects upon offspring--treatment of self-abuse and its effects--prevention of secret vice--cultivate chastity--timely warning--curative treatment of the effects of self-abuse--cure of the habit--how may a person help himself?--hopeful courage--general regimen and treatment--mental and moral treatment-- exercise--never overeat--eat but twice a day--discard all stimulating food--stimulating drinks--sleeping--dreams--can dreams be controlled?-- bathing--improvement of general health--prostitution as a remedy-- marriage--local treatment--cool sitz bath--ascending douche--abdominal bandage--wet compress--hot and cold applications to the spine--local fomentations--local cold bathing--enemata--electricity--internal applications--use of electricity--circumcision--impotence--varicocele-- drugs--rings--quacks--closing advice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _a chapter for boys_. who are boys?--what are boys for?--boys the hope of the world--man the masterpiece--how a noble character is ruined--the marvelous human machine--the two objects of human existence--the nutritive apparatus-- the moving apparatus--the thinking and feeling apparatus--the purifying apparatus--the reproductive apparatus--how a noble character and a sound body must be formed--the downhill road--self-abuse--a dreadful sin-- self-murderers--what makes boys dwarfs--scrawny and hollow-eyed boys-- old boys--what makes idiots--young dyspeptics--the race ruined by boys-- cases illustrating the effects of self-abuse--two young wrecks--a prodigal youth--barely escaped--a lost soul--the results of one transgression--a hospital case--an old offender--the sad end of a young victim--from bad to worse--an indignant father--disgusted with life--bad company--bad language--bad books--vile pictures--evil thoughts-- influence of other bad habits--closing advice to boys and young men. _a chapter for girls_. girlhood--how to develop beauty and loveliness--the human form divine--a wonderful process--human buds--how beauty is marred--a beauty-destroying vice--terrible effects of secret vice--remote effects--causes which lead girls astray--vicious companions--whom to avoid--sentimental books-- various causes--modesty woman's safeguard--a few sad cases--a pitiful case--a mind dethroned--a penitent victim--a ruined girl--the danger of boarding-schools--a desperate case--a last word--a few words to boys and girls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . introduction. books almost without number have been written upon the subject treated in this work. unfortunately, most of these works are utterly unreliable, being filled with gross misrepresentations and exaggerations, and being designed as advertising mediums for ignorant and unscrupulous charlatans, or worse than worthless patent nostrums. to add to their power for evil, many of them abound with pictorial illustrations which are in no way conducive to virtue or morality, but rather stimulate the animal propensities and excite lewd imaginations. books of this character are usually widely circulated; and their pernicious influence is fully as great as that of works of a more grossly obscene character. in most of the few instances in which the evident motive of the author is not of an unworthy character, the manner of presenting the subject is unfortunately such that it more frequently than otherwise has a strong tendency in a direction exactly the opposite of that intended and desired. the writer of this work has endeavored to avoid the latter evil by adopting a style of presentation quite different from that generally pursued. instead of restricting the reader's attention rigidly to the sexual function in man, his mind is diverted by frequent references to corresponding functions in lower animals and in the vegetable kingdom. by this means, not only is an additional fund of information imparted, but the sexual function in man is divested of its sensuality. it is viewed as a fact of natural history, and is associated with the innocence of animal life and the chaste loveliness of flowers. thus the subject comes to be regarded from a purely physiological standpoint, and is liberated from the gross animal instinct which is the active cause of sensuality. there are so many well-meaning individuals who object to the agitation of this subject in any manner whatever, that it may be profitable to consider in this connection some of the principal objections which are urged against imparting information on sexual subjects, especially against giving knowledge to the young. i. _sexual matters improper to be spoken of to the young._ this objection is often raised, it being urged that these matters are _too delicate_ to be even suggested to children; that they ought to be kept in total ignorance of all sexual matters and relations until nature indicates that they are fit to receive them. it is doubtless true that children raised in a perfectly natural way would have no sexual thoughts until puberty, at least, and it would be better if it might be so; but from facts pointed out in succeeding portions of this work, it is certain that at the present time children nearly always do have some vague ideas of sexual relations long before puberty, and often at a very early age. it is thus apparent that by speaking to children of sexual matters in a proper manner, a new subject is not introduced to them, but it is merely presenting to them in a true light a subject of which they already have vague ideas; and thus, by satisfying a natural curiosity, they are saved from supplying by their imaginations distorted images and exaggerated conceptions, and from seeking to obtain the desired information from evil sources whence they would derive untold injury. what reason is there that the subject of the sexual functions should be treated with such maudlin secrecy? why should the function of generation be regarded as something low and beastly, unfit to be spoken of by decent people on decent occasions? we can conceive of no answer except the worse than beastly use to which the function has been so generally put by man. there is nothing about the sexual organism which makes it less pure than the lungs or the stomach. "unto the pure all things are pure," may have been written especially for our times, when there is such a vast amount of mock modesty; when so much pretense of virtue covers such a world of iniquity and vice. the young lady who goes into a spasm of virtuous hysterics upon hearing the word "leg," is perhaps just the one who at home riots her imagination in voluptuous french novels, if she commits no grosser breach of chastity. the parents who are the most opposed to imparting information to the young are often those who have themselves indulged in sexual excesses. in the minds of such persons the sexual organs and functions, and everything even remotely connected with them, are associated only with ideas of lust and gross sensuality. no wonder that they wish to keep such topics in the dark. with such thoughts they cannot well bear the scrutiny of virtue. sexual subjects are not, of course, proper subjects for conversation at all times, or at any time in a spirit of levity and flippancy. ii. _knowledge is dangerous._ very true, knowledge is dangerous, but ignorance is more dangerous still; or, rather, partial knowledge is more dangerous than a more complete understanding of facts. children, young people, will not grow up in innocent ignorance. if, in obedience to custom, they are not encouraged to inquire of their parents about the mysteries of life, they will seek to satisfy their curiosity by appealing to older or better informed companions. they will eagerly read any book which promises any hint on the mysterious subject, and will embrace every opportunity, proper or improper--and most likely to be the latter--of obtaining the coveted information. knowledge obtained in this uncertain and irregular way must of necessity be very unreliable. many times--generally, in fact--it is of a most corrupting character, and the clandestine manner in which it is obtained is itself corrupting and demoralizing. a child ought to be taught to expect all such information from its parents, and it ought not to be disappointed. again, while it is true that knowledge is dangerous, it is equally true that this dangerous knowledge will be gained sometime, at any rate; and as it must come, better let it be imparted by the parent, who can administer proper warnings and cautions along with it, than by any other individual. thus may the child be shielded from injury to which he would otherwise be certainly exposed. iii. _young people should be left to find out these things for themselves._ if human beings received much of their knowledge through instinct, as animals do, this might be a proper course; but man gets his knowledge largely by instruction. young people will get their first knowledge of sexual matters mostly by instruction from some source. how much better, then, as we have already shown, to let them obtain this knowledge from the most natural and most reliable source! the following paragraph from dr. ware is to the point:-- "but putting aside the question whether we ought to hide this subject wholly from the young if we could, the truth, it is to be feared, is that we cannot if we would. admitting it to be desirable, every man of experience in life will pronounce it to be impracticable. if, then, we cannot prevent the minds of children from being engaged in some way on this subject, may it not be better to forestall evil impressions by implanting good ones, or at least to mingle such good ones with the evil as the nature of the case admits? let us be at least as wise as the crafty enemy of man, and cast in a little wheat with his tares; and among the most effectual methods of doing this is to impart to the young just and religious views of the nature and purposes of the relation which the creator has established between the two sexes." _when shall information be given?_--it is a matter of some difficulty to decide the exact age at which information on sexual subjects should be given to the young. it may be adopted as a safe rule, however, that a certain amount of knowledge should be imparted as soon as there is manifested a curiosity in this direction. if there is reason to believe that the mind of the child is exercised in this direction, even though he may have made no particular inquiries, information should not be withheld. _how to impart proper knowledge._--no little skill may be displayed in introducing these subjects to the mind of the young person in such a way as to avoid arousing his passions and creating sexual excitement. perhaps the general plan followed in the first portion of this work will be found a very pleasant and successful method if studied thoroughly and well executed. all information should not be given at once. first obtain the child's confidence, and assure him by candor and unreserve that you will give him all needed information; then, as he encounters difficulties, he will resort for explanation where he knows he will receive satisfaction. when the little one questions, answer truthfully and carefully. the following paragraph by dr. wilkinson is suggestive:-- "when we are little boys and girls, our first inquiries about our _whence_ are answered by the authoritative dogma of the 'silver spade;' we were dug up with that implement. by degrees the fact comes forth. the public, however, remains for ages in the silver-spade condition of mind with regard to the science of the fact; and the doctors foster it by telling us that the whole subject is a medical property.... there is nothing wrong in the knowing; and, though the passions might be stimulated in the first moments by such information, yet in the second instance they will be calmed by it; and, ceasing to be inflamed by the additional goad of curiosity and imagination, they will cool down under the hydropathic influences of science. well-stated knowledge did never yet contribute to human inflammation; and we much question whether the whole theory of the silver spade be not a mistake; and whether children should not be told the truth from the first; that before desire and imagination are born, the young mind may receive, in its cool innocency, a knowledge of the future objects of powers and faculties which are to be subject afterward to such strong excitements." the experience of hundreds in the circulation of this work has proven beyond all chance for question the truth of the foregoing remarks, and often in a most striking manner. scores of persons have written us, "i would give all i possess in this world could i have had a copy of 'plain facts' placed in my hands when i was a lad," or, "words cannot express the gratitude i would now feel had some kind friend imparted to me the invaluable information which this book contains; it would have saved me a life of wretchedness." we have had the satisfaction of knowing in numerous instances that the virtue and happiness of whole families have been secured by the timely warnings of danger which parents have obtained from this work. we are glad to be able to feel that it is now thoroughly demonstrated that intelligent persons who have given this subject thought universally approve of the objects of the work and the manner of presenting the subject adopted in it. those who at first question the propriety of discussing the subject so freely and thoroughly as is here done, lose their prejudice entirely upon giving the work a careful perusal. in numerous instances it has occurred that those who were most decided in their denunciations have become the most zealous and efficient agents in its circulation after becoming more fully acquainted with it. sex in living forms. life, in its great diversity of forms, has ever been a subject of the deepest interest to rational beings. poets have sung of its joys and sorrows, its brilliant phantasies and harsh realities. philosophers have spent their lives in vain attempts to solve its mysteries; and some have held and thought that life was nothing more than a stupendous farce, a delusion of the senses. moralists have sought to impress mankind with the truth that "life is real," and teeming with grave responsibilities. physiologists have busied themselves in observing the phenomena of life, and learning, therefrom, its laws. the subject is certainly an interesting one, and none could be more worthy of the most careful attention. living beings.--man possesses life in common with other beings almost infinite in number and variety. the hugest beast that roams the forest or plows the main is no more a living creature than the smallest insect or microscopic animalculum. the "big tree" of california and the tiny blade of grass which waves at its foot are alike imbued with life. all nature teems with life. the practiced eye detects multitudes of living forms at every glance. the universe of life presents the most marvelous manifestations of the infinite power and wisdom of the creator to be found in all his works. the student of biology sees life in myriad forms which are unnoticed by the casual observer. the microscope reveals whole worlds of life that were unknown before the discovery of this wonderful aid to human vision,--whole tribes of living organisms, each of which, though insignificant in size, possesses organs as perfect and as useful to it in its sphere as do animals of greater magnitude. under a powerful magnifying glass, a drop of water from a stagnant pool is found to be peopled with curious animated forms; slime from a damp rock, or a speck of green scum from the surface of a pond, presents a museum of living wonders. through this instrument the student of nature learns that life in its lowest form is represented by a mere atom of living matter, an insignificant speck of trembling jelly, transparent and structureless, having no organs of locomotion, yet able to move in any direction; no nerves or organs of sense, yet possessing a high degree of sensibility; no mouth, teeth, nor organs of digestion, yet capable of taking food, growing, developing, producing other individuals like itself, becoming aged, infirm, and dying,--such is the life history of a living creature at the lower extreme of the scale of animated being. as we rise higher in the scale, we find similar little atoms of life associated together in a single individual, each doing its proper share of the work necessary to maintain the life of the individual as a whole, yet retaining at the same time its own individual life. as we ascend to still higher forms, we find this association of minute living creatures resulting in the production of forms of increasing complicity. as the structure of the individual becomes more complex and its functions more varied, the greater is the number of separate, yet associated, organisms to do the work. in man, at the very summit of the scale of animate existence, we find the most delicate and wonderfully intricate living mechanism of all. in him, as in lower, intermediate forms of life, the life of the individual is but a summary of the lives of all numberless minute organisms of which his body is composed. the individual life is but the aggregate life of all the millions of distinct individuals which are associated together in the human organism. animals and vegetables.--the first classification of living creatures separates them into two great kingdoms, animals and vegetables. although it is very easy to define the general characteristics of each of these classes, it is impossible to fix upon any single peculiarity which will be applicable in every case. most vegetable organisms remain stationary, while some possess organs of locomotion, and swim about in the water in a manner much resembling the movements of certain animals. most vegetables obtain their nutriment from the earth and the air, while animals subsist on living matter. a few plants seem to take organic matter for food, some even catching and killing small insects. it is found impossible to draw the precise line between animals and vegetables, for the reason just mentioned. the two kingdoms blend so intimately that in some cases it is impossible to tell whether a certain microscopic speck of life is an animal or a vegetable. but since these doubtful creatures are usually so minute that several millions of them can exist in a single drop of water, it is usually of no practical importance whether they are animal or vegetable, or sometimes one and sometimes the other, as they have been supposed to be by some biologists. all living creatures are _organized_ beings. most possess a structure and an organism more or less complicated; but some of the lowest forms are merely little masses of a transparent, homogeneous jelly, known as protoplasm. some of the smallest of these are so minute that one hundred millions of them could occupy the space of a cube one-thousandth of an inch on each side; yet each one runs its course of life as regularly as man himself, performing its proper functions even more perfectly, perhaps. life force.--to every thinking mind the question often recurs, what makes the fragrant flower so different from the dead soil from which it grows? the trilling bird, so vastly superior to the inert atmosphere in which it flies? what subtle power paints the rose, and tunes the merry songster's voice? to explain this mystery, philosophers of olden time supposed the existence of a certain peculiar force which is called life, or vital force, or vitality. this supposition does nothing more than furnish a name for a thing unknown, and the very existence of which may fairly be doubted. in fact, any attempt to find a place for such a force, to understand its origin, or harmonize its existence with that of other well-known forces, is unsuccessful; and the theory of a peculiar vital force, a presiding entity present in every living thing, vanishes into thin air to give place to the more rational view of the most advanced modern scientists, that vital force, so-called, is only a manifestation of the ordinary forces of nature acting through a peculiar arrangement of matter. in other words, life depends, not upon a peculiar force, but upon a peculiar arrangement of matter, or organization. it is simply a peculiar manifestation of the force possessed by atoms exhibited through a peculiar arrangement of atoms and molecules. this arrangement is what is known as organization; and bodies which possess it are known as organized or living bodies. the term life may be understood as referring to the phenomena which result from organization. that life results from organization, not organization from life, is more consonant with the accepted and established facts of science than the contrary view. we might adduce numerous facts and arguments in support of this view of the nature of life, but will not do so here, as we have considered the subject at some length elsewhere.[ ] [footnote : see "science and the bible," pp. - .] _nutrition_ and _reproduction_ are the two great functions of life, being common not only to all animals, but to both animals and plants, to all classes of living creatures. the object of the first, is the development and maintenance of the individual existence; the second has for its end the production of new individuals, or the preservation of the race. nutrition is a purely selfish process; reproduction is purely unselfish in its object; though the human species--unlike the lower animals, which, while less intelligent, are far more true to nature--too often pervert its functions to the most grossly selfish ends. the subject of nutrition is an important one, and well worthy the attention of every person who values life. the general disregard of this subject is undoubtedly the cause of a very large share of the ills to which human flesh is heir; but our limited space forbids its consideration here, and we shall confine our attention to reproduction. reproduction. as before remarked, reproduction is a function common to all animals and to all plants. every organized being has the power to reproduce itself, or to produce, or aid in producing, other individuals like itself. it is by means of this function that plants and animals increase or multiply. when we consider the great diversity of characters illustrated in animal and vegetable life, and the infinite variety of conditions and circumstances under which organized creatures exist, it is not surprising that modes of reproduction should also present great diversity both in general character and in detail. we shall find it both interesting and instructive to consider some of the many different modes of reproduction, or generation, observed in different classes of living beings, previous to entering upon the specific study of reproduction in man. before doing thus, however, let us give brief attention to a theoretical form of generation, which cannot be called reproduction, known as spontaneous generation.--by this term is meant the supposed formation of living creatures directly from dead matter without the intervention of other living organisms. the theory is, in substance, an old one. the ancients supposed that the frogs and other small reptiles so abundant in the vicinity of slimy pools and stagnant marshes, were generated spontaneously from the mud and slime in which they lived. this theory was, of course, abandoned when the natural history of reptiles became known. for several thousand years the belief was still held that maggots found in decaying meat were produced spontaneously; but it was discovered, centuries ago, that maggots are not formed if the flesh is protected from flies, since they are the larvae, or young, of a species of this insect. a relic of the ancient belief in spontaneous generation is still found in the supposition that horse-hair snakes, so-called, are really formed from the hairs of horses. this belief is quite common, but science long ago exposed its falsity. when the microscope was discovered it revealed a whole new world of infinitesimal beings which were at first supposed to be of spontaneous origin; but careful scientific investigation has shown that even these mere specks of life are not independent of parentage. m. pasteur and, more recently, prof. tyndall, with many other distinguished scientists, have demonstrated this fact beyond all reasonable chance for question. it is, then, an established law that _every living organism originates with some previously existing living being or beings_. it may be queried, if it be true that life is but a manifestation of the ordinary forces of matter,--which are common to both dead and living matter,--being dependent upon arrangement, then why may it not be that dead matter may, through the action of molecular laws, and without the intervention of any living existence, assume those peculiar forms of arrangement necessary to constitute life, as supposed by the advocates of the theory in question? it is true that some who recognize the fact that life is the result of organization maintain the doctrine of _spontaneous generation_; that is, the production of life without any agency other than the recognized forces of nature being brought about simply by a fortuitous combination of atoms. although this doctrine cannot be said to be inconsistent with the theory of life presented, yet it is by no means a legitimate or necessary result of it; and observation proves its falsity. the testimony of all nature, as almost universally admitted by scientific men, is that life originated through a creative act by the first great cause, who gave to certain bodies the requisite arrangement or organization to enable them to perform certain functions, and delegated to them the power to transmit the same to other matter, and thus to perpetuate life. the creator alone has the power to originate life. man, with all his wisdom and attainments, cannot discover the secret of organization. he may become familiar with its phenomena, but he cannot unravel, further, the mystery of life. the power of organizing is possessed only by the lower class of living or organized bodies, those known as vegetable organisms or plants. a grain of wheat, a kernel of corn, a potato, when placed under favorable conditions, takes the inert, lifeless particles of matter which lie about it in the earth and air, and organizes them into living substances like itself. to man and animals the creator delegated the power to form their own peculiar structures from the vitalized tissues of plants. thus, both animal and vegetable life is preserved without the necessity of continued acts of creative power, each plant and each animal possessing the power not only to preserve its own life, but also to aid, at least, in the perpetuation of the species. the record of creation in genesis harmonizes perfectly with this view, it being represented that god formed (organized or arranged) man, animals, and vegetable productions from the earth. simplest form of generation.--deep down beneath the waters of the ocean, covering its bottom in certain localities, is found a curious slime, which, under the microscope, is seen to be composed of minute rounded masses of gelatinous matter, or protoplasm. by watching these little bodies intently for a few minutes, the observer will discover that each is a living creature capable of moving, growing, and assuming a variety of shapes. continued observation will reveal the fact that these little creatures multiply; and a more careful scrutiny will enable him to see _how_ they increase. each divides into two equal parts so nearly alike that they cannot be distinguished apart. in this case the process of generation is simply the production of two similar individuals from one. a small quantity of slime taken from the surface of a stone near the bottom of an old well, or on the seaside, when placed under the microscope, will sometimes be found to contain large numbers of small, round, living bodies. careful watching will show that they also multiply by division; but before the division occurs, two cells unite to form one by a process called _conjugation_. then, by the division of this cell, instead of only two cells, a large number of small cells are formed, each of which may be considered as a bud formed upon the body of the parent cell and then separated from it to become by growth an individual like its parent, and, like it, to produce its kind. in this case, we have new individuals formed by the union of two individuals which are to all appearance entirely similar in every particular. sex.--rising higher in the scale of being, we find that, with rare exceptions, reproduction is the result of the union of two dissimilar elements. these elements do not, in higher organisms, as in lower forms of life, constitute the individuals, but are produced by them; and being unlike, they are produced by special organs, each adapted to the formation of one kind of elements. the two classes of organs usually exist in separate individuals, thus giving rise to distinctions of _sex_; an individual possessing organs which form one kind of elements being called a male, and one possessing organs for the formation of the other kind of elements, a female. the sexual differences between individuals of the same species are not, however, confined to the sexual organs. in most classes of plants and animals, other sexual differences are very great. in some of the lower orders of animals, and in many species of plants, the male and female individuals are so much unlike that for a long time after they were well known, no sexual relation was discovered. hermaphrodism.--an individual possessing both male and female organs of reproduction is called an _hermaphrodite_. such a combination is very rare among higher animals; but it is by no means uncommon among plants and the lower forms of animal life. the snail, the oyster, the earth-worm, and the common tape-worm, are examples of true hermaphrodites. so-called human hermaphrodites are usually individuals in whom the sexual organs are abnormally developed so that they resemble those of the opposite sex, though they really have but one sex, which can usually be determined with certainty. only a very few cases have been observed in which both male and female organs were present. there is now living in germany an individual who bears the name of a woman; but learned physicians have decided that the person is as much man as woman, having the organs of both sexes. what is still more curious, this person has the feelings of both sexes, having loved at first a man, and afterward a woman. there have been observed, also, a very few instances of individuals in whom the sexual organs of neither sex were present. it thus appears that a person may be of both sexes or of no sex at all. sex in plants.--to one unacquainted with the mysteries of plant life and growth, the idea of attaching sexuality to plants seems very extraordinary; but the botanist recognizes the fact that the distinctions of sex are as clearly maintained in the vegetable as in the animal kingdom. the sexual organs of the higher orders of plants are flowers. that part of the flower which produces seeds answers to the female; another part, which is incapable of forming seeds, answers to the male. the fertile and sterile flowers are sometimes produced on separate plants. very frequently, they are produced upon separate parts of the same plant, as in the oak, walnut, and many other forest trees, and indian corn. in the latter plant, so familiar to every one, the "tassel" contains the male flowers, and the part known as the "silk," with the portion to which it is attached--which becomes the ear--the female or fertile flowers. in a large number of species, the male and female organs are combined in a single flower, making a true hermaphrodite. sex in animals.--as previously remarked, individuals of opposite sex usually differ much more than in the character of their sexual organs only. among higher animals, the male is usually larger, stronger, and of coarser structure than the female. the same contrast is observed in their mental characters. with lower animals, especially insects, the opposite is often observed. the female spider is many times larger than the male. the male ant is small in size when compared with the female. nevertheless, in all classes of animals the difference in the structure and the functions of the sexual organs is the chief distinguishing character. these differences are not so great, however, as they might at first appear. the male and female organs of reproduction in man and other animals, which seem so dissimilar, when studied in the light shed upon this subject by the science of embryology, are found to be wonderfully alike in structure, differing far more in appearance than in reality, and being little more than modifications of one general plan. every organ to be found in the one sex has an analogue in the other which is complete in every particular, corresponding in function, in structure, and usually in position. other sexual differences.--in this country there is between five and six inches difference in height and about twenty pounds difference in weight between the average man and the average woman, the average man being about five feet, eight inches in height, and weighing one hundred and forty-five pounds; while the average woman is five feet, two or two and one-half inches in height, and weighs one hundred and twenty-five pounds. the relation of the sexes in height and weight varies in degree in different countries, but is never changed. the average height and weight of american men and women is considerably above that of the average human being. men and women differ in form.--the differences in form are so marked that it is possible for the skilled anatomist to determine the sex of a human being who has been dead for ages, by an examination of the skeleton alone. in man, the shoulders are broad, the hips narrow, and the limbs nearly straight with the body. in woman, the shoulders are narrow and usually rounded, and set farther back, the collar-bone being longer and less curved, giving the chest greater prominence; while the hips are broad. the consequence of these differences is that woman is generally less graceful and naturally less skillful in the use of the extremities than man, and hence less fitted for athletic sports and feats requiring great dexterity. a girl throws a stone awkwardly, less from want of practice than from a natural peculiarity of physical structure. a woman walks less gracefully than a man, owing to the greater relative breadth of her hips, requiring a motion of the body together with that of the limbs. in consequence of this peculiarity, a woman is less fitted for walking long distances. modern mania for female pedestrianism.--nothing could be much more inhuman than the exhibitions made in satisfying the mania for female pedestrianism which has recently arisen. not long since, in walking down one of the principal streets of boston, we passed, in going a distance of thirty rods, three illuminated placards announcing to the public that in as many different public halls four female pedestrians were exhibiting their walking talents for the gratification of the crowds of bawdy loafers and jockeys who congregated to criticize their several "points," and bet on their walking capacity, as though they were horses on a race-course or hounds on a fox hunt. , quarter miles in , quarter hours.--we visited the halls and ascertained that two of these misguided women were attempting the feat of walking respectively , and , quarter miles in an equal number of successive quarter hours. this would require almost incessant exertion for nearly twenty-eight days in one case, and for more than thirty-one days in the other, without at any time a period of unbroken rest longer than ten minutes. such a procedure, in the light of physiology, is a greater inhumanity than the most merciless boston teamster would inflict upon his dumb brutes. why does not mr. bergh exercise his function in such cases? we did not wonder that the poor women looked pale and suffering, and trudged along with a limping gait. a female walking match.--at another hall we found two women engaged in a "walking match." the hall was so crowded with spectators--with very few exceptions of the male sex--that it was with difficulty the narrow track could be kept clear. the sixty hours for which the walk was to be continued had nearly expired, and the excitement grew more intense each moment. one of the walkers, who was a few miles in advance, strode on at a pace almost marvelous, constantly stimulated to greater efforts by the coarse shouts of the masculine audience, who evidently took the same sort of interest in the proceeding that they would in a dog race or a cock fight. the other was pale and spiritless, and it seemed with difficulty that she dragged herself along to keep upon the track until the last. at times she seemed to be almost fainting, as the result of the long-continued excitement and fatigue; but she managed to keep going until nine minutes before the slow moving clock had measured off the sixty hours, when she became too ill to be longer able to stand, and was carried off the track. the cheers for the winner were as vigorous as though a rebel fort had been captured, a million people emancipated from slavery, or some great and noble deed of honor or daring had been done; but no one thought of the injury which had been done the contestant. we turned away in disgust. the ancient greeks and romans amused themselves with witnessing the gladiatorial contests of their male slaves; but it was left for civilized america to introduce woman into the "ring" and make her show her paces on the race-course. an ungraceful figure she cuts, and a repulsive spectacle she presents; and worst of all is the havoc which she makes with her health. at the very time that these four female pedestrians were making their disgraceful exhibit in boston, in another part of the same city lay a helpless invalid who was once as noted a "female walkist" as any of them, made hopelessly ill by the same disregard of the plainest laws of nature. the male and the female brain.--but there are other important physical differences to which we must call attention. man possesses a larger brain than woman, but she makes up the deficiency in size by superior fineness in quality. the female brain differs from the masculine organ of mentality in other particulars so marked that one who has given the subject attention can determine with perfect ease the probable sex of the owner of almost any skull which might be presented to him. this difference in the conformation of the skull is undoubtedly due to a difference in mental character, which, in turn, depends upon a difference in cerebral development. faculties which are generally largely developed in one are usually smaller in the other, and the reverse. vital organs of man and woman.--the anatomist also observes an interesting difference in the size of the various vital organs. for example, while a woman has a heart proportionally smaller than the same organ in man, she has a larger liver. thus, while less well fitted for severe physical exertion by less circulatory power, she has superior excretory powers. woman less muscular, more enduring.--this peculiarity of structure is perfectly harmonious with the fact which experience has established so often as to make the matter no longer a question, that woman is less fitted for severe muscular exertion than man, but possesses in a superior degree the quality known as endurance. with a less robust frame, a more delicately organized constitution, she will endure for months what would kill a robust man in as many weeks. more perfect elimination of the wastes of the body secures a higher grade of vitality. on no other hypothesis could we account for the marvelous endurance of the feminine part of the civilized portion of the human race, ground down under the heel of fashion for ages, "stayed," "corseted," "laced," and thereby distorted and deformed in a manner that would be fatal to almost any member of the masculine sex. a pathological difference.--most physiologists mention another particular in which woman differs materially from man; viz, in naturally employing, in respiration, chiefly the upper part of the lungs, while man breathes chiefly with the lower part of the lungs. for several years we have carefully studied this question, and we have been unable to find any physiological or anatomical reason sufficient to account for this fact, if it be such. why a woman does not breathe like a man.--it is undoubtedly true that most women do breathe almost exclusively with the upper part of the chest; but whether this is a _natural_ peculiarity, or an acquired, unnatural, and depraved one, is a question which we are decidedly inclined to answer in harmony with the latter supposition, basing our conclusion on the following undeniable facts:-- . in childhood, and until about the age of puberty, respiration in the boy and the girl is exactly the same. . although there is a change in the mode of respiration in most females, usually soon after the period of puberty, marked by increased intercostal respiration and diminished abdominal or deep respiration, this change can be accounted for on other than physiological grounds. . we believe the cause of this modification of respiration is the change in dress which is usually made about that time. the young girl is now becoming a woman, and must acquire the art of lacing, wearing a corset, "stays," and sundry other contrivances by means of which to produce a "fine form" by distorting and destroying all natural grace and beauty in the "form divine." . we have met a number of ladies whose good fortune and good sense had delivered them from the distorting influence of corset-wearing and tight-lacing, and we have invariably observed that they are as capable of deep respiration as men, and practice it as naturally. we are thoroughly convinced that this so-called physiological difference between man and woman is really a pathological rather than a natural difference, and is due to the evils of fashionable dress, which we have exposed at some length in another work exclusively devoted to that subject.[ ] in short, we believe that the only reason why women do not, under ordinary circumstances, breathe as do men, is simply _because they can not_ breathe naturally. [footnote : "evils of fashionable dress, and how to dress healthfully."] the reproductive elements.--as has been previously observed, in all except the very lowest forms of life, two elements are necessary to the production of a new individual, or a reproduction of the species--a male element and a female element. the special organs by means of which these elements are produced, brought together, and developed into the new individual in a more or less perfect state, are termed _sexual organs_, as we have already seen. as an introduction to the specific study of the sexual organs in the human species, let us briefly consider the sexual organs of plants.--as already remarked, flowers are the sexual organs of plants. nothing is more interesting in the natural world than the wonderful beauty, diversity, and perfect adaptability to various conditions and functions, which we see in the sexual parts of plants. an exceedingly interesting line of study, which has occupied the attention of many naturalists, is the wonderful perfection displayed in the adaptability of the male and female parts of plants to each other. without burdening the reader with unnecessary technicalities of detail, we will briefly notice the principal parts of vegetable sexual organs as illustrated in flowers. complete flowers are made up of four parts, two of which, the _stamen_ and _pistil_, are essential, while the other two, the calyx and corolla, are accessory. the _calyx_ is that part which surrounds the flower at its outer and lower part. it varies greatly in form and color, but is most frequently of a green or greenish color. just within the calyx is the _corolla_, which usually forms the most attractive, showy, and beautiful part of the flower. the beautifully colored petals of the rose, geranium, dahlia, and other similar flowers, form their corollas. vegetable husbands.--within the cup formed by the calyx and corolla are placed the _stamens_ and _pistils_ of the flower, the first being the male organs proper, and the second the female organs of the flower. the stamen is composed of a stem or filament, at the summit of which are placed two little sacks called the _anther_, which contain a fine, microscopic dust, the _pollen_, which contains the male reproductive element of the flower. this part of the plant corresponds to the male organ of reproduction in animals. a stamen has been called, not inaptly, a vegetable husband. some flowers have many stamens, or vegetable husbands, which reminds us of the custom in thibet and some other eastern countries which allows a woman to have several husbands. polygamous flowers.--the great naturalist, linnaeus, whose name was immortalized by his careful study and classification of organized life, made the number of stamens possessed by various flowers the basis of a systematic classification. for example, a flower having but one stamen was classed as _monandria_, which means, literally, one husband; one having two stamens was classified as _diandria_; flowers having a large number of male organs were termed _polyandria_, or many husbands. the female organ of flowers.--the _pistil_ occupies the very center of the flower. it produces and contains in a cell, the female element, termed the _ovule_. it is surmounted by the _style_ and the _stigma_. a series of plants in which the sexual organs are not visible to the eye are termed _cryptogamia_, which means literally, hidden marriages. as we proceed to study the anatomy of the human sexual apparatus we shall be constantly struck with the remarkable correspondence between animals and vegetables in the structure and functions of the sexual apparatus. sexual organs of animals.--the male reproductive element is called a _spermatozoon_ or _zoosperm_. the female element is called an _ovum_, literally, an egg. the spermatozoon.--the male reproductive element of animals is formed by an organ called the _testis_, or _testicle_, of which each male possesses two. they are elastic, glandular bodies, and are formed within the cavity of the abdomen, near the kidneys, but usually pass out of the abdominal cavity and descend to their permanent position before birth. the opening in the abdominal wall is usually completely closed in a short time; but occasionally it remains open, giving rise to congenital hernia, an accident in which a loop of intestine follows the testicle down into the scrotum, either completely or partially. in a few animals, as in the porcupine, the opening is never fully closed, and the testis remains in the cavity of the body most of the time, passing out only at certain periods. we also occasionally meet cases of human beings in which the testes have never descended from their place in the abdominal cavity, giving the individuals the appearance of eunuchs. this condition, however, though an abnormal one, does not in any way interfere with the function of the organs, as those who happen to possess it often imagine. we have also met with cases in which the organs were movable, and could readily be pressed up into the abdominal cavity, through the unclosed inguinal cavity, which afforded them a passage downward in the process of development. as before remarked, these peculiarities do not affect the functions of the organs in any appreciable degree, although they not infrequently give rise to some apprehension on the part of those subject to them. the left testicle is sometimes a little smaller than the right, another fact which is seized upon by quacks as a means of exciting the fears of young men who have been addicted to bad habits, although the peculiarity is generally without important significance. the testicles are connected with the urinary passage by means of two ducts which terminate near the base of the bladder, at which point they connect with the urethra. we need not dwell at further length upon the structure of the testicles, as this subject receives fuller attention elsewhere. human spermatozoa are about / of an inch in length. those of reptiles are very much larger. one of the remarkable features of these minute elements is their peculiar movements. while alive, the filamentous tail is in constant action in a manner strongly resembling the movements of the caudal appendage of a tadpole. this wonderful property led the earlier observers to believe that they were true animalcula. but they are not to be regarded as such, though one can scarcely make himself believe otherwise while watching their lively evolutions, and apparent volitionary movement from one point to another. spermatozoa originate in the testis as cells, which are filled with granules. after a time, each granule acquires a long appendage, and then the cell has become converted into a bundle of small zoosperms. development still continues, until finally the thin pellicle on the outside of the bundle is ruptured, thus liberating the young spermatozoa, which speedily complete their full development. the spermatozoon is pure protoplasm, which is the basis of all life, and its power of spontaneous motion is due to this fact. in man, the formation of spermatozoa continues with greater or less rapidity from puberty to old age, though at the two extremes of existence they are imperfectly developed. when not discharged from the body, they are said to be absorbed. some physiologists claim that they are composed of a substance identical with nerve tissue, and that by absorption they play a very important part in the development and maintenance of the nervous system. it is asserted by good authorities that the reproductive element in man is not so well developed as to be really fit for the reproduction of the species before the age of twenty-four or twenty-five. after the age of forty-five or fifty, the reproductive elements deteriorate in quality, and become again unfitted for vigorous procreation. the fully developed zoosperms are suspended in a transparent, gelatinous fluid, which, mingled with the secretion of the prostate gland and other fluids which it meets during its expulsion from the body, constitutes the _semen_. the ovum.--the female element of generation, the ovum, is produced by an organ called the _ovary_, of which there are two in each individual. in size and form, the ovary closely resembles the testicle. like the latter organ, also, it is formed within the body early in the process of development; but instead of passing outward and downward, as does the testicle, it remains within the abdominal cavity, suspended in place by ligaments. it is connected with a duct which receives the ovum as it is discharged, and conveys it to the uterus. the human ovum varies in size from / to / of an inch in diameter, and consists of a single cell. ova are not formed in such large numbers as zoosperms. as a general rule, in the human female, a single ovum is developed and discharged once in about four weeks, during the period of sexual activity. fecundation.--it is often asked, and the question has elicited some discussion, which is the principal reproductive element; the zoosperm, or the ovum? the ancients supposed the male element to be the essential element, being simply nourished and developed by the female; but modern research in biological science does not sustain this view. probably neither one enjoys especial preeminence; for neither can undergo complete development without the other. in very rare cases, the ovum has been observed to undergo a certain amount of development of itself; but a perfect individual can be produced only by the union of the two kinds of elements, which process is known as _fecundation_. the instant this union occurs, the life of a new individual begins. all the changes which result between that moment and the birth of the individual are those of development only. indeed, the same existence continues from the instant of the union of the two elements, not only until birth, but through growth, the attainment of maturity, the decline of life, and even until death. it is interesting to observe the different methods by which fecundation is effected, both in plants and animals, for this is a process common to both. fecundation in flowers.--the great naturalist, linnaeus, was the first to explain the reproductive process in plants. he tells us that "the flower forms the theater of their amours; the calyx is to be considered as the nuptial bed; the corolla constitutes the curtains; the anthers are the testes; the pollen, the fecundating fluid; the stigma of the pistil, the external genital aperture; the style, the vagina, or the conductor of the prolific seed; the ovary of the plant, the womb; the reciprocal action of the stamens on the pistil, the accessory process of fecundation." thus marvelous is the analogy between the reproductive organs and their functions in plants and animals. through this one vital process we may trace a close relation between all the forms of life, from the humblest plant, or even the mere specks of life which form the green scum upon a stagnant pool, to man, the masterpiece of creation, the highest of all animated creatures. in all the realm of nature there can be found no more remarkable evidences of the infinite skill and wisdom of the creator of all things. in many instances the action of plants seems almost to be prompted by intelligence. at the proper moment, the corolla contracts in such a way as to bring the stamens nearer to the stigma, or in contact with it, so as to insure fecundation. in some aquatic plants the flowers elevate themselves above the surface of water while the process of fecundation is effected; submerging themselves again immediately afterward. other very curious changes occur in flowers of different species during the reproductive act. the stigma is observed to become moistened, and even to become distinctly odorous. often, too, it becomes intensely congested with the juices of the plant, and sometimes even acquires an uncommon and most remarkable degree of contractility. this is the case with the stigma of the tulip and one variety of sensitive plant, and is in these plants observed to occur not only after the application of the pollen to the stigma, but when excited by any other means of stimulation. the flowers of some plants, during and after fecundation, also show an increase of heat, in some cases so marked as to be readily detected with the thermometer. this is said to be the case with the _arum_ of italy. in some plants in which the pistil is longer than the stamens, thus elevating the stigma above the anthers, the female organ is often observed to bend over and depress itself so as to come within reach of the anthers. in most instances the fecundation of flowers is chiefly effected through a purely mechanical process, though in these cases also we see a wonderful adaptation of parts to conditions. when the male and female parts of flowers are situated on different plants, as is the case in the willow, the poplar, the melon vine, and many other species, the pollen of the male flower is wafted by the wind or gentle breeze to the stigma of the female flower, which will usually be found at no very great distance, although fertilization may take place in this way at very considerable distances. bees, moths, and many other species of insects, serve a very important purpose in this work, transporting the fertilizing dust upon their wings, antennae, sucking-tubes, and feet. small birds, and even the humble snail, which would scarcely be credited with any useful function, are also very serviceable in the same direction. the part performed by insects in the reproductive process of many plants is so great that they have been very poetically termed "the marriage priests of flowers." nature provides for thorough fecundation in these cases by placing the plants which bear the male and the female flowers near each other. this fact accounts for the unproductiveness of certain varieties of strawberries unless mixed with plants of some other variety, it being well known to nursery-men that some varieties produce only the female parts of flowers. modes of fecundation in animals.--the modes by which fecundation is effected in animals are still more various and wonderful than in plants. in some of the lower animals, as in most fish and reptiles, both elements are discharged from the bodies of the parents before coming in contact, there being no contact of the two individuals. in this class of animals the process is almost wholly analogous to fecundation in those plants in which the male and female flowers are on different plants or different parts of the same plant. in the female fish, a large number of ova are developed at a certain season of the year known as the spawning season. sometimes the number reaches many thousands. at the same time, the testicles of the male fish, which are contained within the abdominal cavity, become distended with developed zoosperms. when the female seeks a place to deposit her eggs, the male closely follows; and as she drops them upon the gravelly bottom, he discharges upon them the zoosperms by which they are fecundated. the process is analogous to some species of frogs. when the female is about to deposit her eggs, the male mounts upon her back and rides about until the eggs are all deposited, discharging upon them the fertilizing spermatozoa as they are laid by the female. in higher orders of animals, fecundation takes place within the generative organs of the female by contact between the male and the female organs. to effect this, there are necessitated certain accessory organs, the _penis_ in the male and the _vagina_ in the female. nothing in all the range of nature is more remarkable than the adaptation of the two varieties of sexual organs in each species. this necessary provision is both a powerful means of securing the perpetuation of the species, and an almost impassable barrier against amalgamation. the act of union, or sexual congress, is called _coitus_ or _copulation_. it is accompanied by a peculiar nervous spasm due to excitement of special nerves principally located in the _penis_ in the male, and in an extremely sensitive organ, the _clitoris_, in the female. the nervous action referred to is more exhausting to the system than any other to which it is subject. union of the ovum and zoosperm.--the zoosperms not only come in contact with the ovum, but penetrate the thin membrane which incloses its contents, and enter its interior, where they disappear, becoming united with its substance. in the ova of certain fishes, small openings have been observed through which the spermatozoa find entrance. whether such openings exist in human ova is an undecided question; but it is probable that they do. curious modes of reproduction.--a peculiar kind of reproduction is observed in a variety of polyp, a curious animal which very much resembles a shrub in appearance. it attaches itself to some solid object, and then, as it grows, sends out little protuberances resembling buds. some of these separate and fall off, swimming about as separate animals. these never become like the parent polyp; but they lay eggs, which hatch, and become stationary polyps like their grandparent, and in their turn throw off buds to form swimming polyps. in this case we have two kinds of generation combined, alternating with each other. plant-lice afford a curious illustration of a similar generation. males and females unite and produce eggs. the creatures produced by the hatching of eggs are neither males nor perfect females. they are _imperfect females_. they are all alike, so that no sexual union occurs. instead of laying eggs, they produce live young like themselves, which appear to be developed from internal buds similar to the external buds of the polyp. after this method of reproduction has continued for eight or ten generations, a few perfect individuals appear, and the first process is repeated. the common honey-bee affords another illustration like the last. a virgin queen sometimes lays eggs, which always produce males, or drones. after union with a male, she lays eggs in the royal cells which become perfect females like herself. she also seems to have the power to lay, at will, unfecundated eggs, from which drones are produced. human beings are developed buds.--it has been very aptly suggested by an eminent physiologist that the ovum and zoosperm may be correctly considered as internal buds. thus it would appear that generation is universally a process of budding. a child is but a compound bud, an offshoot from its parents. this idea is not a mere fancy, but has a scientific basis. as all the exquisite details of the most beautiful flower are in essence contained within the tiny bud which first makes its appearance, so is the developed human being, the full-grown man or woman, virtually contained within the tiny cell called the ovum after it has been impregnated or fecundated by the zoosperms. in short, men and women are blossoms in a strictly scientific sense. fecundation in hermaphrodites.--the process of fecundation in hermaphrodite animals is very peculiar. in some cases, as in the snail, the union of two individuals is usually necessary, though each possesses both kinds of organs. in other cases, as in the tape-worm, the oyster, and numerous other mollusks, a single individual has the power to fertilize its own ova, thus being wholly independent. human hermaphrodites are usually so deformed that fecundation is not effected, which is a fortunate safeguard against the multiplication of such monstrosities. development.--after the union of the two elements, known as fecundation or _conception_, if the conditions are favorable, development occurs, and the little germ is in due process of time developed into an individual which is an exact counterpart of its parents. during this developmental process, the embryonic being is variously treated by different classes of animals. unprotected development.--most fishes and reptiles discharge their ova before fecundation, or soon after, and pay no further attention to them. the fish deposits its eggs in a little hollow scooped out in the gravelly bed of a stream, or sows them broadcast upon the waters. the turtle buries its eggs in the sand, and leaves them to be hatched by the sun. the ostrich disposes of her eggs in the same way. many other species of animals pay no regard to the protection of the germs which are destined, if placed under favorable conditions, to become individuals like themselves. partial protection of the ovum.--there are some exceptions, however, to this general rule among fishes and reptiles. even fishes manifest a degree of parental solicitude in certain cases. the male of a species of south american fish gathers up the eggs after fecundation has taken place, and carries them in his mouth until they are hatched. another male fish carries the eggs of his mate in a little pouch upon the lower and posterior part of his body. certain species of frogs carry their eggs wound about their legs; others suspend them from the abdomen. another variety carries its young upon its back. prof. wyman describes a "swamp toad" which patiently takes the eggs of his mate, one by one, and fastens them upon her back, observing great regularity in arrangement. these several devices are evidently for the purpose of protecting, in some degree, the young individual during the helpless stage of its existence. development in the higher animals and man.--higher animals are less prolific, and their development is a more complicated process; hence, their young need greater protection, and, for this reason, the ova, instead of being discharged from the body of the female after fecundation, are retained.[ ] as we have seen that a suitable receptacle is sometimes provided outside of the body, so now a receptacle is needed, and is provided in the interior of the body of the female. this receptacle is called [footnote : curious examples of internal development sometimes occur in animals which usually deposit eggs. snakes have been known to produce both eggs and living young at the same time. at the annual meeting of the american society for the advancement of science, at detroit, mich., in august, , we had the pleasure of examining a specimen, exhibited by prof. wilder, of a chick which had undergone a considerable degree of development within the ovary of the hen. it had a head, a rudimentary brain, and internal viscera, but no feathers nor limbs. it was, in fact, an egg hatched before it had been laid. the anomaly excited much interest at that time and since among biologists.] the uterus.--this is a hollow, pear-shaped organ, located in the median line, just behind the bladder, between it and the rectum. it is supported in place by various ligaments and by the juxtaposition of other organs. its larger end is directed upward, and communicates upon each side with a very narrow tube which is prolonged outward on either side until it nearly touches the ovary of the same side. its lower and smaller end fills the internal extremity of the passage previously described as the vagina. when an ovum is matured, it escapes from the ovary into the narrow tube referred to, called the _fallopian tube_, and passes down into the cavity of the uterus. if fecundation does not occur, it is expelled or absorbed after six to twelve or fourteen days. if copulation occurs, however, zoosperms are brought into the cavity of the uterus, and, coming in contact with the ovum, fecundate it. this is _conception_. when the natural process is allowed to proceed, development occurs. uterine gestation.--this is the term applied to the process last referred to. we shall not attempt to describe in detail this most wonderful and intricate of all living processes; but will sketch only the chief points, leaving the reader who would obtain a more complete knowledge of the subject to consult any one of the numerous physiological and obstetrical works which deal with it in a very exhaustive manner. as soon as the ovum is impregnated by the male element, it begins a process of symmetrical division. the first division produces two cells out of the single one which first existed. by the next division, four segments are produced; then eight, sixteen, etc. while this process is going on, the ovum becomes adherent to the internal wall of the uterus, and is soon enveloped by its mucous membrane, which grows up about and incloses it. the primitive trace.--when the process of segmentation has advanced to a certain point, the cells are aggregated together in a compact layer at the surface. soon a straight line appears upon this layer, which is called the _primitive trace_. this delicate line becomes the basis for the spinal column; and upon and about it the whole individual is developed by an intricate process of folding, dividing, and reduplication of the layer of cells. one end of the line becomes the head, and the other becomes the tail. even man has a caudal appendage at an early stage of his existence. after a further lapse of time, little excrescences, buds, or "pads," appear in the proper positions to represent the arms and legs. after further development the ends split up into fingers and toes, and by the continued development of the parts, perfect arms and legs are formed. curious relation to lower animals.--it is a very remarkable fact that in the lower animals we have numerous examples in which the permanent condition of the individual is the same as some one of the stages through which man passes in the process of development. the same author previously quoted makes the following interesting statements:-- "the webbed feet of the seal and ornithorhynchus typify the period when the hands and feet of the human embryo are as yet only partly subdivided into fingers and toes. indeed, it is not uncommon for the 'web' to persist to some extent between the toes of adults; and occasionally children are born with two or more fingers or toes united to their tips. "with the seal and the walrus, the limbs are protruded but little beyond the wrist and ankle. with the ordinary quadrupeds, the knee and elbow are visible. the cats, the lemurs, and the monkeys form a series in which the limbs are successively freed from the trunk, and in the highest apes they are capable of nearly the same movements as the human arm and leg, which, in their development, passed through all these stages." simplicity of early structures.--the first structures formed are exceedingly simple in form. it is only by slow degrees that the great complicity which characterizes many organs is finally attained. for example, the heart is at first only a straight tube. by enlargement and the formation of longitudinal and transverse partitions, the fully developed organ is finally produced. the stomach and intestines are also at first but a simple straight tube. the stomach and large intestine are formed by dilatation; and by a growth of the tube in length while the ends are confined, the small intestines are formed. the other internal organs are successively developed by similar processes. the stages of growth.--at first insignificant in size--a simple cell, the embryonic human being steadily increases in size, gradually approximating more and more closely to the human form, until, at the end of about nine calendar months or ten lunar months, the new individual is prepared to enter the world and begin a more independent course of life. the following condensation of a summary quoted by dr. austin flint, jr., will give an idea of the size of the developing being at different periods, and the rate of progress:-- at the end of the third week, the embryon is a little less than one-fourth of an inch in length. at the end of the seventh week, it is three-fourths of an inch long. the liver, lungs, and other internal organs are partially formed. at the eighth week, it is about one inch in length. it begins to look some like a human being, but it is impossible to determine the sex. at the third month, the embryon has attained the length of two to two and one-half inches. its weight is about one ounce. at the end of the fourth month, the embryon is called a fetus. it is from four to five inches long, and weighs five ounces. at the fifth month, the fetus is nearly a foot long, and weighs about half a pound. at the sixth month, the average length of the fetus is about thirteen inches, and its weight one and a half to two pounds. if born, life could continue a few minutes. at the seventh month, the fetus is from fourteen to fifteen inches long, and weighs two to three pounds. it is now viable (may live if born). at the eighth month, the length of the fetus is from fifteen to sixteen inches, and its weight from three to four pounds. at the ninth month, the fetus is about seventeen inches long, and weighs from five to six pounds. at birth, the infant weighs a little more than seven pounds, the usual range being from four to ten pounds, though these limits are sometimes exceeded. duration of gestation.--the length of time required for the development of a human being is usually reckoned as about forty weeks. a more precise statement places it at about two hundred and seventy-eight days. this limit is often varied from. cases have occurred in which a much longer time has been required, and numberless cases have occurred in which human beings have been born several weeks before the expiration of the usual time, as stated. there is some uncertainty respecting the exact length of the period of gestation, which grows out of the difficulty of determining, in many cases, the exact time when conception takes place. uterine life.--the uterine life of the new individual begins with the impregnation of the ovum, which occurs the instant it is brought in contact with the zoosperms of the male. while in the uterus, the young life is supported wholly by the mother. she is obliged to provide not only for her own sustenance, but for the maintenance of her child. and she must not only eat for it, but breathe for it as well, since it requires a constant and adequate supply of oxygen before birth as much as afterward. how the unborn infant breathes.--oxygen and nutriment are both supplied to it through the medium of an organ called the _placenta_, which is a spongy growth composed almost entirely of blood-vessels, and is developed upon the inner wall of the uterus, at the point at which the ovum attaches itself after fecundation. the growing fetus is connected with this vascular organ by means of a sort of cable, called the _umbilical cord_. the cord is almost entirely composed of blood-vessels which convey the blood of the fetus to the placenta and return it again. the fetal blood does not mix with that of the mother, but receives oxygen and nourishment from it by absorption through the thin walls which alone separate it from the mother's blood. the umbilical cord contains no nerves, as there is no nervous connection between the mother and the child. the only way in which the child can be influenced by the mother is through the medium of the blood, to changes in which it is very susceptible, as we shall see more clearly hereafter. the cord is attached to the body of the child at the point called the _navel_, being cut off at birth by the _accoucheur_. with the placenta, it is expelled soon after the birth of the child, and constitutes the shapeless mass familiarly known as the _after-birth_, by the retention of which the most serious trouble is occasionally caused. parturition.--at the end of the period of development, the young being is forcibly expelled from the laboratory of nature in which it has been formed. in other words, it is born; and this process is termed _parturition_. though, at first thought, such an act would seem an utter impossibility, yet it is a very admirable illustration of nature's adaptation of means to ends. during the months of gestation, while the uterus has been enlarging to accommodate its daily increasing contents, the generative passages have also been increasing in size and becoming soft and distensible, so that a seeming impossibility is in due time accomplished without physical damage, though possibly not without intense suffering. however, it is a most gratifying fact that modern medical science may do much to mitigate the pains of childbirth. it is possible, by a proper course of preparation for the expected event, to greatly lessen the suffering usually undergone; and some ladies assert that they have thus avoided real pain altogether. although the curse pronounced upon the feminine part of the race, in consequence of the sin of eve, implies suffering in the parturient act, yet there is no doubt that the greater share of the daughters of eve are, through the perverting and degenerating influences of wrong habits and especially of modern civilization, compelled to suffer many times more than their maternal ancestor. we have sufficient evidence of this in the fact that among barbarian women, who are generally less perverted physically than civilized women, childbirth is regarded with very little apprehension, since it occasions little pain or inconvenience. the same is true of many women among the lower laboring classes. in short, while it is true that more or less suffering must always accompany the parturient act, yet the excessive pain usually attendant upon the process is the result of causes which can in many cases be removed by proper management beforehand and at the time of confinement. after being relieved of its contents, the uterus and other organs rapidly return to nearly their original size. changes in the child at birth.--in the system of the child a wonderful change occurs at the moment of its expulsion into the outer world. for the first time, its lungs are filled with air. for the first time they receive the full tide of blood. the whole course of the circulation is changed, and an entirely new process begins. it is surprising in how short a space of time changes so marvelous can be wrought. nursing.--the process of development is not fully complete at birth. the young life is not yet prepared to support itself; hence, still further provision is necessary for it. it requires prepared food suited to its condition. this is provided by the _mammae_, or breasts, of the female, which are glands for secreting milk. the fully developed gland is peculiar to the female; but a few instances have been known in which it has been sufficiently developed to become functionally active in men, as well as in young girls, though it is usually inactive even in women until near the close of gestation. it is a curious fact that the breasts of a new-born child occasionally contain milk. the first product of the mammae is not the proper milk secretion, but is a yellowish fluid called _colostrum _. the true milk secretion begins two or three days after delivery. the lacteal secretion is influenced in a very remarkable manner by the mental conditions of the mother. by sudden emotions of grief or anger, it has been known to undergo such changes as to produce in the child a fit of indigestion, vomiting, diarrhea, and even convulsions and death. any medicine taken by the mother finds its way into the milk, and often affects the delicate system of the infant more than herself. this fact should be a warning to those nursing mothers who use stimulants. cases are not uncommon in which delicate infants are kept in a state of intoxication for weeks by the use of alcoholic drinks by the mother. the popular notion that lager-beer, ale, wine, or alcohol in any other form, is in any degree necessary or beneficial to a nursing woman is a great error which cannot be too often noticed and condemned. not only is the mother injured, instead of being benefited by such a practice, but great injury, sometimes life-long in its consequences, is inflicted upon the babe at her breast who takes the intoxicating poison at second hand, and is influenced in a fourfold degree from its feebleness and great susceptibility. anatomy of the reproductive organs. having now considered the functions and somewhat of the structures of the principal organs of reproduction, we may obtain a more definite idea of the relation of the several organs of each class by a connected review of the anatomy of the parts. male organs.--as previously stated, the external organs of generation in the male are the _penis_ and the _testicles_, the latter being contained in a pouch called the _scrotum_. the penis is the organ of urination as well as copulation. its structure is cellular, and it contains a vast number of minute coils of blood-vessels which become turgid with blood under the influence of sexual excitement, producing distention and erection of the organ. a canal passes through its entire length, called the _urethra_, which conveys both the urine and the seminal fluid. the organ is protected by a loose covering of integument which folds over the end. this fold is called the _foreskin_ or _prepuce_. the fluid formed by each testicle is conveyed by the _vas deferens_, a curved tube about two feet in length, to the base of the bladder. here the vas deferens joins with another duct which communicates with an elongated pouch, the _vesicula seminalis_, which lies close upon the under side of the bladder. the single tube thus formed, the _ejaculatory duct_, conveys the seminal fluid to the urethra, from which it is discharged. as the production of seminal fluid is more or less constant in man and some animals, while its discharge is intermittent, the vesiculae seminales serve as reservoirs for the fluid, preserving it until required, or allowing it to undergo absorption. some claim that the zoosperms are matured in these organs. they always contain seminal fluid after the age of puberty. during coition, their contents are forcibly expelled by a spasmodic contraction of the muscles which surround them and the ducts leading from them. the prostate gland.--surrounding the ejaculatory ducts and their openings into the urethra at the base of the bladder is the _prostate gland_, which produces a peculiar secretion which forms a considerable portion of the seminal fluid, being mingled with the secretion of the testes during its ejaculation. this gland sometimes becomes the seat of somewhat serious disease. in old age it usually becomes somewhat indurated, and often to such an extent as to seriously affect the health and comfort of the individual by interference with urination and by occasioning pain. anterior to this organ, in the urethra, is a curious little pouch, the _utriculus_, which corresponds to the vagina and uterus in the female. just in front of the prostate gland are two small bodies known as cowper's glands. they secrete a fluid which combines with the seminal secretion. female organs.--the _ovaries_, _uterus_, or _womb_, _fallopian tubes_, and _vagina_ have already been described in part. the external organs of the female are included in the term _vulva_ or _pudenda_. the most superficial parts are the _labia_, two thick folds of integument. just within these are two thinner folds, the _labia minora_ or _nymphae_. these, together with the _clitoris_, situated just above, are extremely sensitive organs, being the chief seat of sexual sense in the female. at the lower part is the opening to the vagina, which in the virgin is usually partially guarded by a thin membrane, the _hymen_. this is not always a reliable test of virginity, however, as commonly regarded, since it may be destroyed by disease or accident, and may exist even after the occurrence of pregnancy. the vagina extends from the vulva to the lower end of the uterus, which it incloses, passing between the bladder and the rectum. the lower extremity of the uterus presents a small opening which leads into its interior. upon either side, at its upper and larger end, is a minute opening, the mouth of the fallopian tube. the latter organs extend from the uterus outward nearly to the ovaries, toward which they present a number of small filaments, one of which is in contact with each ovary. these filaments, together with the interior of the tubes, are covered with a peculiar kind of cells, upon which are minute cilia, or hairs, in constant motion. very curiously, they all move in the same direction, toward the cavity of the uterus. when an ovum escapes from the ovary in connection with menstruation, it is by these delicate hairs propelled along a filament of tissue to the fallopian tube, and thence by the same means is conveyed to the uterus. it may come in contact with the zoosperms at any point between the ovary and the lower orifice of the uterus, and thus undergo fecundation. puberty.--for a certain period after birth, the sexual organs remain in a partially developed condition. this period varies in duration with different animals; in some cases being very brief, in others, comprising several years. upon the attainment of a certain age, the individual becomes sexually perfect, and is then capable of the generative act. this period is called puberty. in man, puberty commonly occurs between the ages of ten and fifteen years, varying considerably in different climates. in this country, and in other countries of about the same latitude, puberty usually occurs at the age of fourteen or fourteen and one-half years in females, and a few months later in males. in cooler climates, as in norway and siberia, the change is delayed to the age of eighteen or nineteen years. in tropical climates it is hastened, occurring as early as nine or ten years. in warm climates it is no uncommon thing for a girl to be a mother at twelve; and it is stated that one of the wives of mahomet was a mother at ten. other causes besides climate tend to hasten the occurrence of this change, as habits, temperament, constitutional tendency, education, and idiosyncrasy. habits of vigorous physical exercise tend to delay the access of puberty. for this reason, together with others, country boys and girls generally mature later than those living in the city by several months, and even a year or two. anything that tends to excite the emotions hastens puberty. the excitements of city life, parties, balls, theaters, even the competition of students in school, and the various causes of excitement to the nervous system which occur in city life, have a tendency to hasten the occurrence of the change which awakens the sexual activities of the system into life. hence, these influences cannot but be considered prejudicial to the best interests of the individual, mentally, morally, and physically, since it is in every way desirable that a change which arouses the passions and gives to them greater intensity should be delayed rather than hastened. influence of diet on puberty.--the dietary has a not unimportant influence in this respect. stimulating food, such as pepper, vinegar, mustard, spices, and condiments generally, together with tea and coffee, and an excess of animal food, have a clearly appreciable influence in inducing the premature occurrence of puberty. on this account, if on no other, should these articles be prohibited to children and youth, or used very sparingly. those who advocate the large use of meat by children and youth have not studied this matter closely in all its bearings. while it is true that children and growing youth require an abundance of the nitrogenous elements of food which are found abundantly in beefsteak, mutton, fish, and other varieties of animal food, it is also true that in taking those articles of food they take along with the nutrient elements properties of a stimulating character, which exert a decidedly detrimental influence upon the susceptible systems of children and youth. at the same time, it is possible to obtain the same desirable nitrogenous elements in oatmeal, unbolted wheat flour, peas, beans, and other vegetable productions, which are wholly free from injurious properties. we are positive from numerous observations on this subject, that a cool, unstimulating, vegetable or farinaceous diet would deter the development of the sexual organism for several months, and perhaps for a year or two. while it might not be in all cases desirable to do this, it would at least be wise to adopt such measures in cases in which the child is unavoidably exposed to influences which have a tendency to hasten the change. it is important to add in this connection a word of caution against the adoption of a dietary too abstemious in character. it is necessary that an abundance of good, wholesome food, rich in the elements of nutrition, should be taken regularly. there is no doubt that many young ladies have induced conditions of serious disease by actual starvation of the system. a young woman who attempts to live on strong tea or coffee, fine-flour bread, and sweet cake, is as certainly starving herself as though she were purposely attempting to commit suicide by means of starvation, and with as much certainty of the same result. brunettes naturally precocious.--it has been observed that in girls the occurrence of puberty is earlier in brunettes than in blondes; and in general it makes its appearance earlier in persons of a nervous or nervo-bilious temperament than in persons of a lymphatic temperament or phlegmatic nature. certain nationalities and families are marked by the earlier occurrence of puberty than in others. in jews, the change is commonly a year or two in advance of other nationalities in this country. it also occurs somewhat sooner in negroes and creoles than in white persons, the african race seeming to retain something of the precocity occasioned by the tropical influence of its native clime. remarkable precocity.--cases occasionally occur in which puberty makes its appearance at the age of three or four years. indeed, a case has been reported in this country in which a female child possessed all the characteristics which are usually developed at puberty, from birth. in this case the regular periodical changes began at birth. premature development occasions early decay.--a fact which is of too great importance to allow to pass unnoticed, is that whatever occasions early or premature sexual development, also occasions premature decay. females in whom puberty occurs at the age of ten or twelve, by the time their age is doubled, are shriveled and wrinkled with age. at the time when they should be in their prime of health and beauty, they are prematurely old and broken. those women who mature late retain their beauty and their strength many years after their precocious sisters have become old, decrepit, and broken down. thus, the matrons of thirty and forty years in colder climates are much more attractive in appearance than the maidens of sixteen; while quite the reverse is true in this and other countries where sexual development is unduly hastened. early puberty a cause for anxiety.--the unnaturally early appearance of puberty is a just cause for apprehension, since it usually indicates an inherent weakness of the constitution. when there are reasons for fearing its occurrence, active measures should be taken to occasion delay if possible. we call especial attention to this point, since there are many who erroneously suppose the early occurrence of puberty to be a sign of superior vigor. changes which occur at puberty.--the changes which occur in the two sexes at this period have been thus described:-- "in both sexes, hair grows on the skin covering the _symphysis pubis_, around the sexual organs, and in the axillae (armpits). in man, the chest and shoulders broaden, the larynx enlarges, and the voice becomes lower in pitch from the elongation of the vocal cords; hair grows upon the chin, upper lip, and cheeks, and often exists upon the general surface of the body more abundantly than in woman." the sexual organs undergo enlargement, and are more frequently excited. the testicles first begin the secretion of the seminal fluid. "in woman, the pelvis and abdomen enlarge, but the whole frame remains more slender, the muscles and joints less prominent, the limbs more rounded and tapering [than in the male]. locally, both external and internal organs undergo a considerable and rapid enlargement. the mammae enlarge, the ovarian vesicles become dilated, and there is established a periodical discharge of one or more ova, accompanied, in most cases, by a sanguineous fluid from the cavity of the uterus." these changes, so varied and extraordinary, often occur within a very short space of time; and as they are liable to serious derangement, especially in the female, great care should be taken to secure for the individual the most favorable conditions until they are successfully effected. it is, however, a fact deserving of mention, that many of the ills which are developed at this particular period are quite as much the result of previous indiscretions and mismanagement as of any immediate cause. a few suggestions with regard to the proper treatment of individuals at this age may be in place. . do not allow the boy or girl to be overworked, either mentally or physically. great and important changes are occurring within the body, and nature should not be overtaxed. . keep the mind occupied. while excessive labor should be avoided, idleness should be as carefully shunned. some light, useful employment or harmless amusement--better some kind of work--should keep the mind fully occupied with wholesome subjects. . abundant exercise out-of-doors is essential for both sexes. sunshine and fresh air are as necessary to the development of a human being as for the expanding of a flower bud. . watch carefully the associations of the youth. this should be done at all times, but especially just at the critical period in question, when the general physical disturbances occurring in the system react upon the mind and make it peculiarly susceptible to influences, especially those of an evil character. . none too much care can be exercised at this important epoch of human life, provided it is properly applied; but nothing could be more disastrous in its consequences than a weak solicitude which panders to every whim and gratifies every perverted appetite. _such_ care is a fatal error. menstruation.--the functional changes which occur in the female are much more marked than those of the male. as already intimated, the periodical development and discharge of an ovum by the female, which occurs after puberty, is accompanied by the discharge of a bloody fluid, which is known as the _flowers_, _menses_, or _catamenia_. the accompanying symptoms together are termed the process of _menstruation_, or _being unwell_. this usually occurs, in the human female, once in about four weeks. in special cases, the interval may be a week less or a week longer; or the variation may be even greater. dalton describes the process as follows:-- "when the expected period is about to come on, the female is affected by a certain degree of discomfort and lassitude, a sense of weight in the pelvis, and more or less disinclination to society. these symptoms are in some cases slightly pronounced, in others more troublesome. an unusual discharge of vaginal mucus then begins to take place, which soon becomes yellowish or rusty brown in color, from the admixture of a certain proportion of blood; and by the second or third day, the discharge has the appearance of nearly pure blood. the unpleasant sensations which were at first manifest, then usually subside; and the discharge, after continuing for a certain period, begins to grow more scanty. its color changes from a pure red to a brownish or rusty tinge, until it finally disappears altogether, and the female returns to her ordinary condition." the menstrual function continues active from puberty to about the forty-fifth year, or during the period of fertility. when it finally disappears, the woman is no longer capable of bearing children. the time of disappearance is termed the "change of life," or _menopause_. exceptional cases occur in which this period is greatly hastened, arriving as early as the thirty-fifth year, or even earlier. instances have also been observed in which menstruation continued as late as the sixtieth year, and even later; but such cases are very rare; and if procreation occurs, the progeny is feeble and senile. with rare exceptions, the function is suspended during pregnancy, and usually, also, during the period of nursing. nature of menstruation.--there has been a great amount of speculation concerning the cause and nature of the menstrual process. no entirely satisfactory conclusions have been reached, however, except that it is usually accompanied by the maturation and expulsion from the ovary of an ovum, which is termed ovulation. but menstruation may occur without ovulation, and, _vice versa_. menstruation is not peculiar to the human female, being represented in the higher animals by what is familiarly termed the "rut." this is not usually a bloody discharge, however, as in the human female, though such a discharge has been observed in the monkey. it has been quite satisfactorily settled that the discharge of the ovum from the ovary generally takes place about the time of the cessation of the flow. immediately after the discharge, the sexual desires of the female are more intense than at other times. this fact is particularly manifest in lower animals. the following remark by prof. dalton is especially significant to those who care to appreciate its bearing:-- "it is a remarkable fact, in this connection, that the female of these [domestic] animals will allow the approaches of the male only during and immediately after the oestrual period [rut]; that is, just when the egg is recently discharged, and ready for impregnation. at other times, when sexual intercourse would be necessarily fruitless, the instinct of the animal leads her to avoid it; and the concourse of the sexes is accordingly made to correspond in time with the maturity of the egg and its aptitude for fecundation." the amount of fluid lost during the menstrual flow varies greatly with different individuals. it is estimated at from three ounces to half a pint. in cases of deranged function, it may be much greater than this. it is not all blood, however, a considerable portion being mucus. it is rather difficult to understand why the discharge of so considerable a quantity of blood is required. there is no benefit derived from a very copious discharge, as some suppose. facts seem to indicate that in general those enjoy the best health who lose but small quantities of blood in this manner. a critical period.--as the first occurrence of menstruation is a very critical period in the life of a female, and as each recurrence of the function renders her especially susceptible to morbid influences, and liable to serious derangements, a few hints respecting the proper care of an individual at these periods may be acceptable. important hints.-- . avoid taking cold. to do this, it is necessary to avoid exposure; not that a person must be constantly confined in a warm room, for such a course would be the surest way in which to increase the susceptibility to cold. nothing will disturb the menstrual process more quickly than a sudden chilling of the body when in a state of perspiration, or after confinement in a warm room, by exposure, without sufficient protection, to cold air. a daily bath and daily exercise in the open air are the best known means of preventing colds. . intense mental excitement, as well as severe physical labor, is to be sedulously avoided during this period. at the time of its first occurrence, special care should be observed in this direction. intense study, a fit of anger, sudden grief, or even great merriment, will sometimes arrest the process prematurely. the feeling of _malaise_ which usually accompanies the discharge is by nature intended as a warning that rest and quiet are required; and the hint should be followed. every endeavor should be made to keep the individual comfortable, calm, and cheerful. feelings of apprehension arising from a continual watching of symptoms are very depressing, and should be avoided by occupying the mind in some agreeable manner not demanding severe effort, either mental or physical. there is no doubt that many young women have permanently injured their constitutions while at school by excessive mental taxation during the catamenial period, to which they were prompted by ambition to excel, or were compelled by the "cramming" system too generally pursued in our schools, and particularly in young ladies' seminaries. it is not to be supposed, however, that the moderate amount of sound study required by a correct system of teaching would be injurious to a healthy young woman at any time, and we have no doubt that a very large share of the injury which has been attributed to over-study during the catamenia has been induced by other causes, such as improper dress, exposure to taking cold, keeping late hours, and improper diet. if there is any class of persons deserving of pity it is that large class of girls and young women who are in every large city employed as clerks, seamstresses, flower makers, and in other taxing and confining occupations. in order to keep their situations they are required to be on hand daily, being allowed no opportunity for rest at the menstrual period. in many cases, too, they are compelled to remain upon their feet all day behind a counter, or at a work table, even at periods when a recumbent position is actually demanded by nature. there should be less delicacy in relation to this subject on the part of young women, and more consideration on the part of employers. here is a field for philanthropic effort which is well worthy of the best efforts of any person of influence who will engage in it. custom of indian women.--the ease with which indian women perform the parturient act is proverbial. they suffer scarcely at all from the pains of childbirth; and without doubt one reason of this is the preservation of their sexual health by rest during the menstrual period. at those seasons they invariably absent themselves from the lodge, and enjoy absolute rest. we may readily suppose, from the nature of some of the mosaic laws, that a custom somewhat similar prevailed among the ancient hebrew women. if the hardy women of the forest are benefited by rest, certainly our more delicate females may be thus benefited. all need a degree of rest; with some it should be absolute. the reckless manner in which some young women treat themselves at the menstrual period, is quite appalling to one who is acquainted with the painful and inveterate character of the evils which arise from such abuse. it is no uncommon thing for young ladies to attend balls, visit skating rinks, and otherwise expose themselves to the influences in every way the best calculated to do them the most harm at this particular period, observing not the slightest precaution. such recklessness is really criminal; and the sad consequences of physical transgression are sure to follow. a young lady who allows herself to get wet or chilled, or gets the feet wet, just prior to or during menstruation, runs the risk of imposing upon herself life-long injury. mothers should look carefully after their daughters at these periods, and impress upon them the importance of special care. . a third hint, which is applicable to both sexes and at all times, is the necessity of attending promptly to the demands of nature for relief of the bowels and bladder. school-girls are often very negligent in this respect; and we have seen the most distressing cases of disease which were entirely attributable to this disregard of the promptings of nature. obstinate constipation and chronic irritation of the bladder are common effects. when constipation results, purgatives in the shape of pills, salts, or "pleasant purgative pellets," are resorted to with the certain result of producing only temporary relief, and permanent damage. to escape these evil consequences, do this: . establish a regular habit of relieving the bowels daily at a certain hour; . discard laxative and cathartic drugs of every kind; . to aid in securing a regular movement of the bowels, make a liberal use of oatmeal, wheat-meal, fruit, and vegetables, avoiding fine-flour bread, sweetmeats, and condiments; . take daily exercise, as much as possible short of fatigue; if necessarily confined indoors, counteract the constipating influence of sedentary habits by kneading and percussing the bowels with the hands several minutes each day; . never resist the calls of nature a single moment, if possible to avoid it. in this case, as in numerous others, "delay is dangerous." ladies who desire a sweet breath--and what lady does not--should remember that retained feces are one of the most frequent causes of foul breath. the foul odors which ought to pass out through the bowels find their way into the blood and escape at the lungs. a medical man whose sense of smell is delicate soon learns to know a constipated person by the breath. as one says, "what is more offensive than the breath of a costive child?" boerhaave, a famous old dutch physician, left to his heirs an elegantly bound volume in which, he claimed, were written all the secrets of the science of physic. after his death, the wonderful book was opened, when it was found to contain only the following sentence:-- "keep the head cool, the feet warm, and the bowels open." an old scotch physician once gave the following advice to sir astley cooper for the preservation of health:-- "keep in the fear of the lord, and your bowels open." . perhaps nothing tends more directly to the production of menstrual derangements--as well as uterine diseases of every sort--than fashionable modes of dress. we have not space here to give to the subject the attention it deserves; it will be found treated of in works devoted to the subject of dress exclusively. some of the most glaring evils are,-- ( ) unequal distribution of clothing. the trunk, especially the abdomen and pelvis, is covered with numerous layers of clothing, an extra amount being caused by the overlapping of the upper and lower garments. very frequently, the amount of clothing upon these, the most vital parts, is excessive. at the same time, the limbs are sometimes almost in a state of nudity. a single cotton garment, or at most one of thin flannel, is the only protection afforded to the limbs beneath the skirts, which often serve no better purpose than to collect cold air and retain it in contact with the limbs. a thin stocking is the only protection for the ankles, and a thin shoe is the only additional covering afforded the feet. under such circumstances, it is no wonder that a woman catches cold if she only steps out-of-doors on a chilly or damp day. ( ) another glaring fault is in the manner of suspending the skirts. instead of being fastened to a waist or suspended so as to give them support from the shoulders, they are hung upon the hips, being drawn tight at the waist to secure support. by this means, the organs of the pelvis are pressed down out of place. the uterus becomes congested, and painful menstrual derangements ensue. ( ) tight lacing, or compressing the waist with a corset, is a barbarous practice which produces the same results as the one last mentioned. reform in all of these particulars is an imperative necessity for every woman who desires to secure or retain sexual health. it is of the greatest importance that careful attention should be given to the proper establishment of the menstrual function at the outset of a woman's life of sexual activity. the first two years will be quite likely to have a deciding influence respecting her health during her whole future life. if a woman can get through the first two years after puberty without acquiring any serious uterine or ovarian disease, she will stand a good chance of enjoying a good degree of sexual health during the balance of her life. the foundation of a great share of the many thousands of cases of uterine disease is laid during this period. at this early period the daughter is usually too young to appreciate the importance of observing slight deviations from the standard of health, even if she were able to recognize them. hence it is a duty which no mother should neglect, to inquire into the exact frequency of the periods, the amount and character of the discharge, and other points necessary to ascertain whether or not there is any deviation from the natural condition of health. if there is pain, it is a certain evidence of something seriously wrong. if there is irregularity in any particular, it is a matter well deserving of serious attention. menorrhagia.--this condition is that in which there is a too profuse discharge of blood. the system is weakened by the loss, and, so much so, in many cases, that the individual does not recover her accustomed strength before the occurrence of the next period, when she becomes weakened still more. by a continuance of this periodical loss, the person may be reduced to a state of almost utter helplessness. a deathly pallor of the countenance, extreme emaciation, loss of strength, and general debility mark the effects of the constant drain upon the system. thousands of young women continue to suffer in this way year after year, until their constitutions are almost hopelessly wrecked, being deterred by false notions of modesty or delicacy from consulting a proper medical adviser and finding relief. the observance of a few simple precautions, and the application of proper remedies, will check the unnatural loss in most of these cases very promptly. in the first place, absolute rest, chiefly in a supine position, must be observed not only during the menstrual period, but for a few days previous to its commencement. if this does not restrain the flow, then cool and even cold compresses may be applied to the lower part of the abdomen and to the small of the back. in severe cases no harm will come from the use of an ice-compress, made by inclosing pounded ice between the folds of a towel. great care must be taken to make the hands, arms, feet, and limbs thoroughly warm by the application of warm bottles and woolen blankets. these measures will scarcely fail to accomplish the desired end, if employed thoroughly and judiciously. it may be well to add just here that the popular fear of using cold in such cases is groundless. no harm can come so long as the extremities are kept warm, and the circulation well balanced. the patient must not be made chilly, however. it is also of importance that the patient be kept mentally quiet as well as physically so. much good will result from these simple measures at the time of the period; but a radical cure can only be effected by removing the cause of the difficulty. the patient's general health must be improved, and local congestion must be removed. this will be accomplished by attention to general hygiene, gentle exercise out-of-doors between the periods, abundance of good food, tonic baths and other necessary treatment if there is derangement of the digestive organs, and daily hip baths with a local douche. the hip bath should be taken in water of a temperature of degrees at the beginning. after five minutes the temperature may be lowered degrees. after five minutes more, it may be lowered a few degrees more. by taking a warm foot bath at degrees or degrees at the same time, quite a cool bath may be endured without chilling. the bath should be continued minutes to minutes, according to the strength of the patient. a shorter bath than this will do little good, as the sedative effect will not be obtained. the douche may be taken at the same time with the bath, or before, as is most convenient. the fountain or syphon syringe should be employed, and the water used should range from degrees to degrees, as best suits the sensations of the patient, being cooled a little toward the last. in general, the hot douche, of a temperature from degrees to degrees, or even degrees, is not only more agreeable, but much more beneficial. by these simple remedies alone we have successfully treated scores of cases of this sort. in some cases other remedies may be required, and in nearly all, accessory remedies can be employed to advantage; but the measures described are the main features of the most successful mode of treatment. dysmenorrhoea.--this condition is that in which there is more or less pain and difficulty in connection with the menstrual process. the causes are various, as congestion of the uterus, malformation, and displacement or distortion of the organ. some of these conditions require the attention of a skilled physician to remedy; but all will be palliated more or less by a course of treatment similar to that described for the previous condition. a warm sitz or hip bath just at the beginning of the period will often give almost magical relief. the application of fomentations over the lower part of the abdomen, and the corresponding portion of the spine, or of hot bags, bottles, etc., in the same localities, is a measure of great utility. the patient should be covered warm in bed, should keep quiet, and great care should be used to keep the extremities well warmed. the use of electricity is a very valuable aid in numerous cases, but this requires the services of a physician, who should always be employed in severe cases when within reach. in many cases of this form of disease the suffering is so great that the constant dread of its periodical repetition becomes a source of great unhappiness, and casts a gloom over the life of an individual who would otherwise be as happy as could be desired. amenorrhoea and chlorosis.--these are serious disorders which require prompt and vigorous attention. they depend less frequently on disorder of the sexual organs themselves than upon some disorder of the general system. they usually demand the attention of a competent physician, and require a more accurate description of their nature and of proper modes of treatment than we have space to give here. hysteria.--from the most remote ages of medical history this disease has been regarded as intimately connected with morbid states of the female organs of generation, especially the uterus. that it is not exclusively produced by causes of this kind is evidenced by the fact that men also sometimes suffer from this curious malady. the phases which it assumes are so numerous that we shall not attempt an accurate description of it; neither is this required, as there are few who are not familiar with its peculiar manifestations. it simulates almost every disease. even consumption and other formidable maladies have been so completely simulated by this disorder as to deceive physicians of long experience. we have met cases in which young ladies were supposed to be in the last stages of pulmonary disease, were apparently gasping almost their last breath, panting, coughing, and experiencing the usual symptoms which accompany tuberculous disease of the lungs, when, upon making a thorough physical examination of the chest, we could find no evidence of pulmonary disease. in one case we incurred the everlasting displeasure of a young lady by disclosing the real state of affairs; but we were repaid in seeing an immediate disappearance of the symptoms, and complete recovery within six weeks, although the young woman had been considered hopelessly ill by her friends and physicians for six months, and was tenderly watched over, petted, and mourned by friends as one who must soon fall a victim to fell disease. the foundation of this disease is almost always laid in some indiscretion by means of which disease of the uterus is induced, and the most careful attention to this part of the organism is required. it should not be treated as a trivial matter which is wholly the result of a diseased imagination, and requires only mental treatment, since it is a real malady, dependent upon morbid states of the system. it requires substantial and thorough treatment as much as rheumatism, dyspepsia, or any other of the numerous diseases to which humanity is subject. prevention better than cure.--we might mention numerous other diseased conditions which grow out of inattention to the laws of health relating to the sexual organism; but to dwell longer upon this part of the subject would be to depart from the plan of this work, and we must forbear. this whole class of maladies is noted for obstinacy in great numbers of cases when the morbid conditions have existed for a long time. in addition it should be remarked that some of the most inveterate disorders of the nervous system originate in this same manner. the thousands of ladies who are suffering with spinal irritation, organic disease of the spine and other nervous disorders, are witnesses to this fact. it is apparent, then, that prevention of these serious maladies by attention to sexual hygiene, especially to the hygiene of menstruation at the first establishment of that function, is a matter of gravest importance. in fact, attention to hygiene is about all that is required. with this, drugs will be rarely required; without, they will be utterly useless. extra-uterine pregnancy.--sometimes the ovum becomes fecundated before reaching the uterus, and, instead of passing onward into that organ as usual, remains in its position in the fallopian tube or even on the surface of the ovary. occasionally an ovum falls into the cavity of the abdomen instead of passing into the tube. even in this situation it may be fecundated. impregnated ova thus left in abnormal positions, undergo a greater or lesser degree of development. they commonly result in the death of the mother. twins.--the human female usually matures but one ovum at each menstrual period, the two ovaries acting alternately. occasionally two ova are matured at once. if fecundation occurs, the result will be a development of two embryos at the same time. in rare cases, three or even four ova are matured at once, and by fecundation produce a corresponding number of embryos. as many as five children have been born alive at one birth, but have not lived more than a few minutes. the occurrence of multiple pregnancies may be explained by the supposition that ova matured subsequent to the first fecundation are also fecundated. in lower animals, the uterus is often divided into two long segments which afford room for the development of a number of young at once. some ancient writers make most absurd statements with regard to the fecundity of females. one declares that the simultaneous birth of seven or eight infants by the same mother was an ordinary occurrence with egyptian women! other statements still more extravagant are made by writers. for example: a traveler in the seventeenth century wrote that he saw, in the year , in a church near the hague, a tablet on which was an inscription stating that a certain noted countess gave birth at once, in the year , to infants, who were all baptized and christened, the males being all called john, and the females, elizabeth. they all died on the day of their birth, with their mother, according to the account, and were buried in the church, where a tablet was erected to their memory. monsters.--defects and abnormalities in the development of the embryon produce all degrees of deviation from the typical human form. excessive development may result in an extra finger or toe, or in the production of some peculiar excrescence. deficiency of development may produce all degrees of abnormality from the simple harelip to the most frightful deficiency, as the absence of a limb, or even of a head. it is in this manner that those unfortunate individuals known as hermaphrodites are formed. an excessive development of some parts of the female generative organs gives them a great degree of similarity to the external organs of the male. a deficient development of the male organs renders them very similar in form to those of the female. redundant development of the sexual organism sometimes results in the development of both kinds of organs in the same individual in a state more or less complete. cases have occurred in which it has become necessary, for legal purposes, to decide respecting the sex of an individual suffering from defective development, and it has sometimes been exceedingly difficult to decide in a given case whether the individual was male or female. such curious cases as the carolina twins and chang and eng were formerly supposed to be the result of the union of two separate individuals. it is now believed that they are developed from a single ovum. it has been observed that the primitive trace--described in a previous section--sometimes undergoes partial division longitudinally. if it splits a little at the anterior end, the individual will have a single body with two heads. if a partial division occurs at each end, the resulting being will possess two heads and two pairs of legs joined to a single body. more complete division produces a single trunk with two heads, two pairs of arms, and two pairs of legs, as in the case of the carolina twins. still more complete division may result in the formation of two perfect individuals almost entirely independent of each other, physiologically, but united by a narrow band, as in the remarkable siamese twins, chang and eng. in a curious case reported not a great while ago, a partially developed infant was amputated from the cheek of a child some time after birth. the precise cause of these strange modifications of development is as yet, in great degree, a mystery. hybrids.--it is a well-known law of biology that no progeny result from union of animals of different species. different varieties of the same species may in some cases form a fertile union, the result of which is a cross between its two parents, possessing some of the qualities of each. the mule is the product of such a union between the horse and the ass. a curious fact is that the offspring of such unions are themselves sterile almost without exception. the reason of this is that they do not produce mature elements of generation. in the mule, the zoosperms are either entirely absent or else very imperfectly developed; hence the fact that a colt having a mule for its sire is one of the rarest of curiosities, though a few instances have been reported. this is a wise law of nature to preserve the purity of species. law of sex.--if there is a law by which the sex of the developing embryon is determined, it probably has not yet been discovered. the influence of the will, the predominant vitality of one or the other of the parents, and the period at which conception occurs, have all been supposed to be the determining cause. a german physician some time since advanced the theory that the two testicles and ovaries produce elements of different sexual character, the right testicle forming zoosperms capable of producing only males, and the right ovary producing ova with the same peculiarity. the left testis and the left ovary he supposed to form the female elements. he claimed to have proved his theory by experiments upon animals. even if true, this theory will not be made of practical importance. it is, in fact, nothing more than a revival of an old theory held by physicians who flourished more than two thousand years ago. more recently another german physician has advanced the theory that the sex may be controlled at will by observing the time of fecundation. he asserts that when fecundation occurs shortly after menstruation, the result will be a female; but if impregnation occurs later in the month, and prior to the three or four days preceding the next menstrual period, a male will almost certainly be produced. this theory was proposed by prof. thury of the academy of geneva, who claims to have thoroughly tested it in a great variety of ways, and always with an affirmative result. dr. heitzman, of new york, an instructor in pathological histology, and an eminent physiologist, informs us that he has thoroughly tested this theory, and finds it to be entirely reliable. there are numerous facts which seem to corroborate the truth of this theory, and future investigations may give to it the dignity of an established physiological fact. heredity.--the phenomena of heredity are among the most interesting of biological studies. it is a matter of common observation that a child looks like its parents. it even happens that a child resembles an uncle or a grandparent more nearly than either parent. the same peculiarities are often seen in animals. the cause of this resemblance of offspring to parents and ancestors has been made a subject of careful study by scientific men. we shall present the most recent theory adopted, which, although it be but a theory, presents such an array of facts in its support, and explains the phenomena in question so admirably, that it must be regarded as something more than a plausible hypothesis. it is the conception of one of the most distinguished scientists of the age. the theory is known as the doctrine of _pangenesis_, and is essentially as follows:-- it is a fact well known to physiologists that every part of the living body is made up of cellular elements which have the power to reproduce themselves in the individual, thus repairing the damage resulting from waste and injury. each cell produces cells like itself. it is further known that there are found in the body numerous central points of growth. in every group of cells is found a central cell from which the others originated, and which determines the form of their growth. every minute structure possesses such a center. a simple proof of this fact is found in the experiment in which the spur of a cock was grafted upon the ear of an ox. it lived in this novel situation eight years, attaining the length of nine inches, and nearly a pound in weight. a tooth has been made to grow upon the comb of a cock in a similar manner. the tail of a pig survived the operation of transplanting from its proper position to the back of the animal, and retained its sensibility. numerous other similar illustrations might be given. the doctrine of pangenesis supposes that these centers of nutrition form and throw off not only cells like themselves, but very minute granules, called gemmules, each of which is capable, under suitable circumstances, of developing into a cell like its parent. these minute granules are scattered through the system in great numbers. the essential organs of generation, the testicles in the male and the ovaries in the female, perform the task of collecting these gemmules and forming them into sets, each of which constitutes a reproductive element, and contains, in rudimentary form, a representative of every part of the individual, including the most minute peculiarities. even more than this: it is supposed that each ovum and each zoosperm contains not only the gemmules necessary to reproduce the individuals who produced them, but also a number of gemmules which have been transmitted from the individuals' ancestors. if this theory be true,--and we can see no sound objection to it,--it is easy to understand all the problems of heredity. the gemmules must be very small indeed, but it may be suggested that the molecules of matter are smaller still, so this fact is no objection to the theory. it will be seen, then, that each spermatozoon, or zoosperm, actually contains, in an embryonic condition, every organ and tissue of the individual producing it. the same is true of the ovum. in other words, the reproductive elements are complete representatives, in miniature, of the parents, and contain all the elements for producing an offspring possessing the same peculiarities as the parents. various modifying circumstances sufficiently explain the dissimilarities between parents and children. this theory is strikingly confirmed by the fact, previously mentioned, that in certain cases the ovum alone, a single reproductive element, may undergo a degree of development approaching very near to completion. it is supposed that fecundation is chiefly necessary to give to the gemmules the requisite amount of nourishment to insure development. as we shall see hereafter, this matter has a very important bearing upon several practical questions. ante-natal influences.--there can be no manner of doubt that many circumstances which it is entirely within the power of the parents to supply, exert a powerful influence in molding both the mental and the physical characteristics of offspring. by carefully availing himself of the controlling power given him by a knowledge of this fact, the stock-raiser is enabled to produce almost any required quality in his young animals. pigeon fanciers show wonderful skill in thus producing most curious modifications in birds. the laws of heredity and development are carefully studied and applied in the production of superior horses, cows, dogs, and pigeons; but an application of the same principles to the improvement of the human race is rarely thought of. human beings are generated in as haphazard and reckless a manner as weeds are sown by the wind. no account is taken of the possible influence which may be exerted upon the future destiny of the new being by the physical or mental condition of parents at the moment when the germ of life is planted, or by the mental and physical conditions and surroundings of the mother while the young life is developing. indeed, the assertion of a modern writer that the poor of our great cities virtually "spawn children," with as little thought of influences and consequences as the fish that sow their eggs broadcast upon the waters, is not so great an exaggeration as it might at first sight appear to be. law universal.--men and women are constantly prone to forget that the domain of law is universal. nothing comes by chance. the revolutions of the planets, studied by the aid of the telescope, and the gyrations of the atoms, seen only by the eye of science, are alike examples of the controlling influence of law. notwithstanding this sad ignorance and disregard of this vitally important subject, the effects of law are only too clearly manifested in the crowds of wretched human beings with which the world is thronged. an old writer sagely remarks, "it is the greatest part of our felicity to be well born;" nevertheless, it is the sad misfortune of by far the greater portion of humanity to be deprived of this inestimable "felicity." a source of crime.--who can tell how many of the liars, thieves, drunkards, murderers, and prostitutes of our day are less responsible for their crimes against themselves, against society, and against heaven, than those who were instrumental in bringing them into the world? almost every village has its boy "who was born drunk," a staggering, simpering, idiotic representative of a drunken father, beastly intoxicated at the very moment when he should have been most sober. an interesting study of this question has recently been made by mr. dugdale, a member of the prison association of the state of new york. when visiting the various jails of the state, he found in one six persons detained for crimes of various character, between all of whom there was a family relation. upon further inquiry, he found that of the same family there were twenty-nine relatives in the vicinity, seventeen of whom were criminals. still further investigation developed the following facts:-- within seventy-five years, a family of persons have sprung from five sisters, several of whom were illegitimate, and three of whom were known to be unchaste, and who married men whose father was an idle, thriftless hunter, a hard drinker, and licentious. of this family, the history of but was traced. of these, the facts set forth in the following incomplete summary were found to be true:-- paupers, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . years of pauperism, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . criminals, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . years of infamy, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . thieves, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . murderers, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . prostitutes and adulteresses, . . . . . . . . . . . illegitimate children, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . no. of persons contaminated by syphilitic disease, . cost to the state in various ways, . . . . . $ , , without doubt a complete summary would make this showing still more appalling, since of the whose histories were traced, it was in many instances impossible to determine whether the individuals were guilty of crime or unchastity or not, even where there were grounds for suspicion. such cases were not included in the summary. no amount of argument on this question could be so conclusive as are these simple facts concerning the "juke" family. it is certainly high time that our legislators began to awaken to this subject, and consider whether it would be an unprofitable experiment to make some attempt to prevent the multiplication of criminals in this manner. we are not prepared to offer a plan for securing such an end; but it is very clearly important that something should be done in this direction. it is an established physiological fact that the character of offspring is influenced by the mental as well as the physical conditions of the parents at the moment of the performance of the generative act. in view of this fact, how many parents can regard the precocious--or even mature--manifestations of sexual depravity in their children without painful smitings of conscience at seeing the legitimate results of their own sensuality? by debasing the reproductive function to an act of selfish animal indulgence, they imprinted upon their children an almost irresistible tendency to vice. viewing the matter from this stand-point, what wonder that licentiousness is rife! that true chastity is among the rarest of virtues! prof. o. w. holmes remarks on this subject: "there are people who think that everything may be done if the doctor, be he educator or physician, be only called in season. no doubt; but _in season_ would often be a hundred or two years before the child was born, and people never send so early as that." "each of us is only the footing up of a double column of figures that goes back to the first pair. every unit tells, and some of them are _plus_ and some _minus_. if the columns don't add up right, it is commonly because we can't make out all of the figures." it cannot be doubted that the throngs of deaf, blind, crippled, idiotic unfortunates who were "born so," together with a still larger class of dwarfed, diseased, and constitutionally weak individuals, are the lamentable results of the violation of some sexual law on the part of their progenitors. if parents would stop a moment to consider the momentous responsibilities involved in the act of bringing into existence a human being; if they would reflect that the qualities imparted to the new being will affect its character to all eternity; if they would recall the fact that they are about to produce a mirror in which will be reflected their own characters divested of all the flimsy fabrics which deceive their fellow-men, revealing even the secret imaginings of their hearts,--there would surely be far less of sin, disease, and misery born into the world than at the preset day; but we dare not hope for such a reform. to effect it, would require such a revolution in the customs of society, such a radical reform in the habits and characters of individuals, as nothing short of a temporal millennium would be able to effect. it is quite probable that some writers have greatly exaggerated the possible results which may be attained by proper attention to the laws under consideration. all cannot be equally beautiful; every child cannot be a genius; the influence of six thousand years of transgression cannot be effaced in a single generation; but persevering, conscientious efforts to comply with every requirement of health, purity, morality, and the laws of nature, will accomplish wonders in securing healthy children with good dispositions, brilliant intellects, and beautiful bodies. this is not the proper place to describe in detail a plan to be pursued; but the few hints given, if rightly appreciated, may enable those interested in the subject to plan for themselves a proper course. in concluding the subject, we may summarize its chief points as follows, for the purpose of impressing them more fully upon the mind:-- . if a child is begotten in lust, its lower passions will as certainly be abnormally developed as peas will produce peas, or potatoes produce potatoes. if the child does not become a rake or a prostitute, it will be because of uncommonly fortunate surroundings, or a miracle of divine grace. but even then, what terrible struggles with sin and vice, with foul thoughts and lewd imaginations--the product of a naturally abnormal mind--must such an individual suffer! if he is unsuccessful in the conflict, is he alone to blame? society, his fellow-men, will censure him alone; but he who knoweth all the secrets of human life will pass a more lenient judgment on the erring one, and mete out punishment where it most belongs. . the same remarks apply with equal force to the transmission of other qualities. if the interest of the parents is only for self, with no thought for the well-being of the one whose destiny is in their hands, they can expect naught but a selfish character, a sordid, greedy disposition, in the child. . the influence of the father is, at the outset, as great as that of the mother. the unhappy or immoral thoughts of one alone at the critical moment when life is imparted, may fix for eternity a foul blot upon a character yet unformed. . if during gestation the mother is fretful, complaining, and exacting; if she requires to be petted and waited upon; if she gratifies every idle whim and indulges every depraved desire and perverted appetite--as thousands of mothers do--the result will surely be a peevish, fretful child, that will develop into a morose and irritable man or woman, imperious, unthankful, disobedient, willful, gluttonous, and vicious. if such undesirable results would be avoided, the following suggestions should be regarded:-- . for the beginning of a new life, select the most favorable time, which will be when the bodily health is at its height; when the mind is free from care and anxiety; when the heart is joyous, cheerful, and filled with hope, love, high aspirations, pure and beautiful thoughts. if, as one writer says, it is the duty of every human pair engaging in the reproductive act to bring into existence the most perfect specimen of the race of which they are capable, then it becomes a monstrous crime to enter into relations which may produce a contrary result. this may be a truth hard to accept, but who is prepared to dispute it on logical or moral grounds? . if a child has been properly conceived, the duty then devolves upon the mother to secure its proper development. is beauty desired, let the mother be surrounded with beautiful objects; and let her mind dwell upon such objects. if an active mind and brilliant intellect are required, the mother should devote considerable time to study and mental labor of a pleasant nature. the moral nature should be carefully cultivated, to insure a lovely disposition. no angry words or unhappy feelings should be tolerated. purity of heart and life should be maintained. the husband should do his part by supplying favorable surroundings, suggesting cheerful thoughts, and aiding mental culture. . after birth, the mother still possesses a molding influence upon the development of her child through the lacteal secretion. every mother knows how speedily the child will suffer if nursed when she is exhausted by physical labor or when suffering from nervous excitement, as anger or grief. these facts show the influence which the mental states of the mother exert upon the child even when the act of nursing is the only physical bond between them. it would be a happy day for the race which should witness the recognition of the fact that infants, even human beings in embryo, possess rights which are as sacred as those of adult human beings. circumcision.--the fold of integument called the prepuce, which has been previously described, has upon its inner surface a large number of glands which produce a peculiar secretion. under certain circumstances, and from inattention to personal cleanliness, this secretion may accumulate, and then often becomes the cause of irritation and serious disease. to prevent such disorders, and to insure cleanliness, the jewish law required the removal of the prepuce, which constituted the rite of circumcision. the same practice is followed by several modern nations dwelling in tropical climates; and it can scarcely be doubted that it is a very salutary one, and has contributed very materially to the maintenance of that proverbial national health for which the jews are celebrated. eminent physicians have expressed the opinion that the practice would be a salutary one for all men. the maintenance of scrupulous cleanliness, by daily cleansing, is at least an imperative duty. in some countries, females are also circumcised by removal of the nymphae. the object is the same as that of circumcision in the male. the same evils result from inattention to local cleanliness, and the same measure of prevention, daily cleansing, is necessitated by a similar secretion. local cleanliness is greatly neglected by both sexes. daily washing should begin with infancy and continue through life, and will prevent much disease. castration.--this operation consists in the removal of the testes of the male. it does not at once obliterate the sexual sense, especially if performed after puberty, but of course renders the individual impotent, or incapable of reproduction. persons upon whom it has been performed are called eunuchs. it was a very common custom in ancient times, being usually prompted by the jealousy of rulers, who allowed no males but eunuchs to associate with their wives and concubines. the effect upon the male is to render him effeminate in appearance and weak in mind. if performed before puberty, the growth of the beard is scanty, and the voice never acquires that deepness of tone natural to the masculine voice. an analogous operation, termed _spaying_, is performed upon females, consisting in the removal of the ovaries; effects similar to those in the male, _sterility_ without entire immediate loss of sexual sense, being the usual result. spaying is much more rarely performed than castration. both operations are now quite rare, seldom being resorted to except in surgical cases. castration is still practiced in some eastern countries. the sexual relations. just in proportion as the perpetuation of the race is more important than the existence of any single individual, the organs of reproduction may in a certain sense be said to rank higher than any other organs of the human frame, since to them is intrusted the important duty of performing that most marvelous of all vital processes, the production of human beings. that this high rank in the vital economy is recognized by nature, is shown by the fact that she has attached to the abuse of the generative function the most terrible penalties which can be inflicted upon a living being. the power of abuse seems to be almost exclusively confined to man; hence, we find him the only one of all living creatures subject to the awful penalties of sexual transgression. the _use_ of the reproductive function is perhaps the highest physical act of which man is capable; its _abuse_ is certainly one of the most grievous outrages against nature which it is possible for him to perpetrate. no observing person can doubt that the sexual relations of men and women determine in a great degree their happiness or misery in life. this subject, then, deserves due attention and careful consideration. it is of no use to scout it; for it will inevitably obtrude itself upon us, no matter now sedulously we attempt to avoid it. it can be rightly considered only with the most perfect candor, with the mind unbiased by passion, and prayerfully anxious to know and _do_ what is right. in the following paragraphs of this section are considered some of the evils out of which grows much of the sexual suffering of men and women:-- sexual precocity.--there are two periods in human life when the sexual instincts should be totally dormant; and they are so when nature is not perverted. the first is the period reaching from infancy to puberty. the second is the period reached in advanced age. if raised strictly in accordance with natural law, children would have no sexual notions or feelings before the occurrence of puberty. no prurient speculation about sexual matters would enter their heads. until that period, the reproductive system should lie dormant in its undeveloped state. no other feeling should be exhibited between the sexes than that brotherly and sisterly affection which is so admirable and becoming. fortunate, indeed, would it be for humanity if this natural state always existed; but it is a lamentable fact that it is rarely seen in modern homes. not infrequently, evidences of sexual passion are manifested before the child has hardly learned to walk. it has been suggested that this precocity is nothing remarkable or unnatural, since it is often seen in little lambs and other young animals. to this it is only necessary to reply that the development of the sexual instincts perfectly corresponds with the longevity of the animal; if short-lived, like the sheep, only a short period intervenes between birth and the attainment of the sexual appetite and virility. if the animal is intended for long life, as is the case with man, these manifestations are delayed until a much later period, or should be. certain insects perform the sexual act as soon as they acquire their perfect form; but they perish as soon as the act is completed. astonishing ignorance.--it is astonishing how ignorant and indifferent the majority of people are upon this subject. a friend related to us an incident which fairly illustrates the terrible apathy which prevails among parents. while teaching a country school, he learned that a large number of children, boys and girls, of ages varying from eight to twelve and fourteen years, were in the habit of collecting together in barns and other secluded places, and in a state of nudity imitating the "black crook" with all possible additional nastiness. horrified at such a monstrous evil, he hastened to inform the parents of the corruption in their midst. imagine his astonishment when he was met with an indifferent laugh and the response, "pooh! it's only natural; perfectly harmless; _just like little pigs!_" as though pigs were models for human beings! it is not pleasant to consider what must have been the moral status of parents who could hold such views; and it is no wonder that they should produce such children. doubtless they learned, too late, that those "natural" manifestations were the outgrowth of incipient vices, planted and fostered by themselves, which in later years destroyed shame and gave loose rein to lust. often the manifestation of sexual precocity is less gross, but almost equally fraught with danger, nevertheless. dr. acton, a distinguished english surgeon whom we shall frequently quote, makes the following excellent remarks upon this subject:-- "slight signs are sufficient to indicate when a boy has this unfortunate tendency. he shows marked preferences. you will see him single out one girl, and evidently derive an unusual pleasure (for a boy) in her society. his _penchant_ does not take the ordinary form of a boy's good nature, but little attentions that are generally reserved for a later period prove that his feeling is different, and sadly premature. he may be apparently healthy, and fond of playing with other boys; still there are slight, but ominous, indications of propensities fraught with danger to himself. his play with the girl is different from his play with his brothers. his kindness to her is a little too ardent. he follows her, he does not know why. he fondles her with a tenderness painfully suggestive of a vague dawning of passion. no one can find fault with him. he does nothing wrong. parents and friends are delighted at his gentleness and politeness, and not a little amused at the early flirtation. if they were wise, they would rather feel profound anxiety; and he would be an unfaithful or unwise medical friend who did not, if an opportunity occurred, warn them that such a boy, unsuspicious and innocent as he is, ought to be carefully watched and removed from every influence calculated to foster his abnormal propensities. "the premature development of the sexual inclination is not alone repugnant to all we associate with the term childhood, but is also fraught with danger to dawning manhood. on the judicious treatment of a case such as has been sketched, it probably depends whether the dangerous propensity shall be so kept in check as to preserve the boy's health and innocence, or whether one more shattered constitution and wounded conscience shall be added to the victims of sexual precocity and careless training. it ought not to be forgotten that in such cases a quasi-sexual power often accompanies these premature sexual inclinations. few, perhaps, except medical men, know how early in life a mere infant may experience erections. frequently it may be noticed that a little child, on being taken out of bed in the morning, cannot make water at once. it would be well if it were recognized by parents and nurses that this often depends upon a more or less complete erection." we have been not more disgusted than shocked to see parents, whose intelligence ought to teach them better, not only winking at, but actually encouraging, these premature manifestations of passion in their children. they may yet learn, by bitter experience, the folly of their course, unless they make the discovery in time to avert the calamitous results which threaten the future of their children, by careful reformatory training. inherited passion.--it is important to inquire the cause of this precocity. said a father of our acquaintance, when remonstrated with for encouraging his infant son in a ridiculous flirtation, "i did just so when i was of his age." in this case the cause was evident. the child was only acting out the disposition bequeathed him by his parent. how often do the secret follies of parents stand out in bold relief in their children. such a legacy is nothing to be proud of. we again quote from dr. acton some observations on the causes of this disorder,--for a grave disorder it is,--as follows:-- "i should specify _hereditary_ predisposition as by no means the least common.... i believe that, as in body and mind, so also in the passions, the sins of the father are frequently visited on the children. no man or woman, i am sure, can have habitually indulged the sexual passions ... without, at least, running the risk of finding that a disposition to follow a similar career has been inherited by the offspring. it is in this way only that we can explain the early and apparently almost irresistible propensity in generation after generation indulging similar habits and feelings." various causes of sexual precocity.--another very powerful predisposing cause of sexual precocity will be alluded to under the head of "marital excesses." the irritation caused by worms in the rectum, by local irritation or uncleanliness, or by irritation of the bladder, are exciting causes which are not infrequent. the latter cause is indicated by another symptom, the frequent wetting of the bed at night. such a symptom doubly demands immediate attention. the juvenile parties so common now-a-days, at which little ones of both sexes, of ages varying from four or five years to ten or twelve, with wonderful precocity and truthfulness imitate the conduct of their elders at fashionable dinners, cannot be too much deprecated. such associations of the sexes have a strong tendency to develop prematurely the distinctive peculiarities of the sexes. this is well evidenced by the fact that on such occasions one of the most common and popular entertainments is sham marriages. parents greatly err in encouraging or allowing their children to engage in amusements of so dangerous a character. they are productive of no good, and are almost without exception productive of positive and serious injury. modern modes of life, improper clothing, the forcing system of cramming in schools, the immodest example of older persons, and especially the irritating, stimulating articles of diet which are daily set before children, as well as older people, undoubtedly have a powerful influence in stimulating the development of the sexual passions. this subject is again referred to under the heading, "chastity." obscene books and papers, lewd pictures, and evil communications are telling causes which will be further noticed elsewhere. senile sexuality.--as with childhood, old age is a period in which the reproductive functions are quiescent unless unnaturally stimulated. sexual life begins with puberty, and, in the female, ends at about the age of forty-five years, the period known as the _menopause_, or _turn of life_. at this period, according to the plainest indications of nature, all functional activity should cease. if this law is disregarded, disease, premature decay, possibly local degenerations, will be sure to result. nature cannot be abused with impunity. the generative power of the male is retained somewhat longer than that of the female, and by stimulation may be indulged at quite an advanced age, but only at the expense of shortening life, and running the risk of sudden death. says parise, "one of the most important pieces of information which a man in years can attain is 'to learn to become old betimes,' if he wishes to attain old age. cicero, we are told, was asked if he still indulged in the pleasures of love. 'heaven forbid,' replied he, 'i have forsworn it as i would a savage and a furious master.'" some learned physicians place the proper limit of man's functional activity at fifty years, if he would not render himself guilty of shortening his days by sensuality. other reasons for this course will appear hereafter. when the passions have been indulged, and their diminishing vigor stimulated, a horrid disease, _satyriasis_, not infrequently seizes upon the imprudent individual, and drives him to the perpetration of the most loathsome crimes and excesses. passions cultivated and encouraged by gratification through life will thus sometimes assert a total supremacy in old age. marriage.--the scope and plan of this work will allow of but the briefest possible consideration of this subject upon which volumes have been written, much to no purpose other than the multiplication of books. we shall devote no space to consideration of the origin of the institution, its expediency, or varied relations, as these topics are foreign to the character of this work. the primary object of marriage was, undoubtedly, the preservation of the race, though there are other objects which, under special circumstances, may become paramount even to this. these latter we cannot consider, as only the relations of the reproductive functions in marriage come properly within our province. the first physiological question to be considered is concerning the proper age for marriage. time to marry.--physiology fixes with accuracy the earliest period at which marriage is admissible. this period is that at which the body attains complete development, which is not before twenty in the female, and twenty-four in the male. even though the growth may be completed before these ages, ossification of the bones is not fully effected, so that development is incomplete. among most modern nations, the civil laws fixing the earliest date of marriage seem to have been made without any reference to physiology, or with the mistaken notion that puberty and nubility are identical. it is interesting to note the different ages established by different nations for the entrance of the married state. the degenerating romans fixed the ages of legal marriage at thirteen for females, and fifteen for males. the grecian legislator, lycurgus, placed the ages at seventeen for the female, and thirty-seven for the male. plato fixed the ages at twenty and thirty years. in prussia, the respective ages are fifteen and nineteen; in austria, sixteen and twenty; in france, sixteen and eighteen, respectively. says mayer, "in general, it may be established that the normal epoch for marriage is the twentieth year for women, and the twenty-fourth for men." application of the law of heredity.--a moment's consideration of the physiology of heredity will disclose a sufficient reason why marriage should be deferred until the development of the body is wholly complete. the matrimonial relation implies reproduction. reproduction is effected through the union of the ovum with the zoosperm. these elements, as we have already seen, are complete representatives of the individuals producing them, being composed--as supposed--of minute gemmules which are destined to be developed into cells and organs in the new being, each preserving its resemblance to the cell within the parent which produced it. the perfection of the new being, then, must be largely dependent on the integrity and perfection of the sexual elements. if the body is still incomplete, the reproductive elements must also be incomplete; and, in consequence, the progeny must be equally immature. early marriage.--the preceding paragraph contains a sufficient reason for condemning early marriage; that is, marriage before the ages mentioned. it is probable that even the ages of twenty and twenty-four are too early for those persons whose development is uncommonly slow. but there are other cogent reasons for discountenancing early marriages, also drawn from the physiology of reproduction, to say nothing of the many reasons which might be urged on other grounds. . during the development of the body, all its energies are required in perfecting the various tissues and organs. there is no material to be spared for any foreign purpose. . the reproductive act is the most exhaustive of all vital acts. its effect upon an undeveloped person is to retard growth, weaken the constitution, and dwarf the intellect. . the effects upon the female are even worse than those upon the male; for, in addition to the exhaustion of nervous energy, she is compelled to endure the burdens and pains of child-bearing when utterly unprepared for such a task, to say nothing of her unfitness for the other duties of a mother. with so many girl-mothers in the land, is it any wonder that there are so many thousands of unfortunate individuals who never seem to get beyond childhood in their development? many a man at forty years is as childish in mind, and as immature in judgment, as a well-developed lad of eighteen would be. they are like withered fruit plucked before it was ripe; they can never become like the mellow and luscious fruit allowed to mature properly. they are unalterably molded; and the saddest fact of all is that they will give to their children the same imperfections; and the children will transmit them to another generation, and so the evil will go on increasing, unless checked by extinction. mutual adaptation.--another question of very great importance is that of the mutual adaptation of the individuals. to this question we can devote but a very brief consideration, and that will be more of the nature of criticism than of a set of formal rules for governing matrimonial alliances. a writer of some note, whose work on this and kindred subjects has had quite an extensive circulation, advocates with great emphasis the theory that parties contemplating marriage should in all cases select for partners individuals as nearly like themselves as possible. exact duplicates would, in his opinion, make the most perfect union attainable. to make his theory practicable, he is obliged to fall back upon phrenology; and directs that a man seeking a wife, or a woman seeking a husband, should obtain a phrenological chart of his head and then send it around until a counterpart is found. if the circle of one's acquaintance is so fortunate as to contain no one cursed with the same propensities or idiosyncrasies as himself, the newspapers are to be brought into requisition as a medium of advertising. if so strange a doctrine as this were advocated by an obscure individual in some secluded hamlet, or found only in the musty volumes of some forgotten author, it surely would be unworthy of notice; but coming as it does from a quite popular writer, and being coupled with a great amount of really valuable truth, it is sufficiently important to deserve refutation. a brief glance at the practical working of the theory will be a sufficient exposure of its falsity. according to this rule, a man or woman of large combativeness should select a partner equally inclined to antagonism; then we should have--what? the elements of a happy, contented, harmonious life? no; instead, either a speedy lawsuit for divorce, or a continual domestic broil, the nearest approach to a mundane purgatory possible. the selfish, close-fisted, miserly money-catcher must marry a woman equally sordid and stingy. then together they could hoard up, for moths and rust to destroy, or for interested relatives to quarrel over, the pictorial greenback and the glittering dollar, each scrimping the other down to the finest point above starvation and freezing, and finally dying, to be forgotten as soon as dead by their fellow-men, and sent among the goats at the great assizes. a shiftless spendthrift must choose for a helpmeet (?) an equally slovenly, thriftless wife. a man with a crotchet should select a partner with the same morbid fancy. a man whose whole mental composition gravitates behind his ears, must find a mate with the same animal disposition. an individual whose mental organization is sadly unbalanced, is advised to seek for a wife a woman with the same deficiencies and abnormalities. any one can see at a glance the domestic disasters which such a plan of proceeding would entail. men and women of unbalanced temperaments would become more unbalanced. an individual of erroneous tendencies, instead of having the constant check of the example and admonitions of a mate of opposite tendencies, would be, by constant example, hastened onward in his sinful ways. thus, to all but a very small proportion of humanity, the married state would be one of infelicity and degeneration. and what would be the progeny of such unions? the peculiarities and propensities of the parents, instead of being modified and perhaps obliterated in the children by corresponding differences in character, would be doubly exaggerated. the children of selfish parents would be thieves; those of spendthrifts, beggars; those of crotchety parents, monomaniacs; those born of sensual parents, beastly debauchees. a few generations of such a degenerating process would either exterminate the race or drive it back to darwin's ancestral ape. it must not be inferred, from our strictures upon the theory mentioned, that we would advocate the opposite course, that is, the contraction of marriage by individuals of wholly dissimilar tastes, aims, and temperaments. such alliances would doubtless be quite as wretched in their results as those of an opposite character. it is with this as with nearly all other subjects; the true course lies between the two extremes. parties who are negotiating a life partnership should be careful to assure themselves that there exists a sufficient degree of congeniality of temperament to make such close and continued association agreeable. disparity of age.--both nature and custom seem to indicate that the husband should be a little older than the wife. several reasons might be given for this; but we need not mention them. when, however, the difference of ages reaches such an extreme as thirty, forty, even fifty or more years, nature is abused, good taste is offended, and even morality is shocked. such ill-sorted alliances are disastrous to both parties, and scarcely more to one than the other. an old man who forms a union with a young girl scarce out of her teens--or even younger--can scarcely have any very elevated motive for his action, and he certainly exposes himself to the greatest risk of sudden death, while insuring his premature decay. a king once characterized such a course as "the pleasantest form of suicide." it is doubtless suicidal, but we suspect there are some phases of such an unnatural union which are not very enjoyable. one reason of the great danger of such marriages to the old is the exhaustive effects of the sexual act. as previously noted, in some animals it causes immediate death. dr. acton makes the following pertinent remarks:-- "so serious, indeed, is the paroxysm of the nervous system produced by the sexual spasm, that its immediate effect is not always unattended with danger, and men with weak hearts have died in the act. every now and then we learn that men are found dead on the night of their wedding." "however exceptional these cases are, they are warnings, and should serve to show that an act which _may_ destroy the weak should not be tampered with, even by the strong." "there are old men who marry young wives, and who pay the penalty by becoming martyrs to paralysis, softening of the brain, and driveling idiocy." dr. gardner quotes the abbe maury, as follows: "i hold as certain that after fifty years of age a man of sense ought to renounce the pleasures of love. each time that he allows himself this gratification is _a pellet of earth thrown upon his coffin_." dr. gardner further says: "alliances of this sort have taken place in every epoch of humanity, from the time of the patriarchs to the present day,--alliances repugnant to nature,--between men bordering on decrepitude and poor young girls, who are sacrificed by their parents for position, or who sell themselves for gold. there is in these monstrous alliances something which we know not how to brand sufficiently energetically, in considering the reciprocal relations of the pair thus wrongfully united, and the lot of the children which may result from them. let us admit, for an instant, that the marriage has been concluded with the full consent of the young girl, and that no external pressure has been exerted upon her will--as is generally the rule--it will none the less happen that reflection and experience will tardily bring regrets, and the sharper as the evil will be without remedy; but if compulsion, or what is often the same thing, _persuasion_, had been employed to obtain the consent which the law demands, the result would have been more prompt and vehement. from this moment the common life becomes odious to the unhappy victim, and _culpable hopes_ will arise in her desolate heart, so heavy is the chain she carries. in fact, the love of the old man becomes ridiculous and horrid to her, and we cannot sufficiently sympathize with the unfortunate person whose duty [?] it is to submit to it. if we think of it an instant, we shall perceive a repulsion, such as is only inspired by the idea of incest.... so what do we oftenest observe? either the woman violently breaks the cursed bands, or she resigns herself to them; and then she seeks to fill up the void in her soul by adulterous amours. such is the somber perspective of the sacrilegious unions which set at defiance the most respectable instincts, the most noble desires, and the most legitimate hopes. such, too, are the terrible chastisements reserved for the thoughtlessness or foolish pride of these dissolute gray-beards, who prodigalize the last breath of their life in search of depraved voluptuousness." the parents, the perpetrators of such an outrage against nature, are not the only sufferers. look at the children which they bring into the world! let dr. gardner speak again:-- "children, the issue of old men, are habitually marked by a serious and sad air spread over their countenances, which is manifestly very opposite to the infantile expression which so delights one in the little children of the same age engendered under other conditions. as they grow up, their features take on more and more the senile character; so much so that every one remarks it, and the world regards it as a natural thing. the old mothers pretend that it is an old head on young shoulders. they predict an early death to these children, and the event frequently justifies the horoscope. our attention has for many years been fixed upon this point, and we can affirm that the greater part of the offspring of these connections are weak, torpid, lymphatic, if not scrofulous, and do not promise a long career." in old age the seminal fluid becomes greatly deteriorated. even at the best, its component elements could only represent decrepitude and infirmity, degeneration and senility. in view of such facts, says dr. acton,-- "we are, therefore, forced to the conclusion that the children of old men have an inferior chance of life; and facts daily observed confirm our deductions. look but at the progeny of such marriages; what is its value? as far as i have seen, it is the worst kind--spoilt childhood, feeble and precocious youth, extravagant manhood, early and premature death." unions of an opposite character to those just considered, wherein a young man marries a woman much older than himself, are more rare than those of the other class. they are, perhaps, less deplorable in their physical effects, but still highly reprehensible. they are seldom prompted by pure motives, and can be productive of no good. children resulting from such unions are notably weak, unbalanced, and sorry specimens of humanity. we have scarcely referred to the domestic misery which may result from these disgraceful unions. if a young girl is brought home by a widower to preside over his grown-up daughters, perhaps old enough to be her mother, all the elements are provided for such a domestic hell as could only be equaled by circumstances precisely similar. if children are born, neither father nor mother is fit to act the part of a parent to them. the father, by reason of his age, is fitful, uncertain, and childish; to-day too lenient, to-morrow too exacting. the mother is pettish, childish, indulgent, impatient, and as unskilled in government as unfit for motherhood. in the midst of all this misrule, the child grows up undisciplined, uncultivated, unsubdued; a misery to his parents, a disgrace to his friends, a dishonor to himself. "what shall i do with him? and what will he do with me?" was the question asked by a girl of eighteen whose parents were urging her to marry an old man; and every young woman would do well to propound it under similar circumstances. were we disposed to define more specifically the conditions necessary to secure the most harmonious matrimonial unions, it would be useless to do so; for unions of this sort never have been, and never will be--with rare exceptions--formed in accordance with a prescribed method independent of any emotional bias. nor is it probable that such a plan would result in remedying, in any appreciable degree, existing evils. it is a fact too patent to be ignored that a very large share of the unhappiness in the world arises from ill-mated marriages; but it is also true that nearly the whole of this unhappiness might be averted if the parties themselves would endeavor to lessen the differences between them by mutual approximation. courtship.--we cannot well avoid devoting a few paragraphs to a part of the subject so important as this, especially as it affords an opportunity for pointing out some evils too patent and too perilous to be ignored. courting, in the sense in which we use the word, is distinctly an american custom. the social laws of other civilized countries are such as to preclude the possibility of the almost unrestrained association of the sexes in youth which we see in this country. we do not offer this fact as an argument in favor of foreign social customs, by any means, although in this one particular they often present great advantages, since in the majority of instances other evils as great or even greater are encouraged. we mention the fact simply for the purpose of bringing into bold relief the evils of the characteristic american looseness in this particular. a french matron would be horrified at the idea of a young man asking her daughter to accompany him alone on an evening ride, to a lecture, concert, or other place of amusement, and much more should he ask the privilege of sitting up all night in the parlor with the light turned down, after the rest of the family had retired. among respectable people in france such liberties are not tolerated; and a young man who should propose such things would be dismissed from the house instantly, and would be regarded as unfit for association with virtuous people. if a young man calls upon a young lady for the purpose of making her acquaintance, he sees both her and her mother, or an aunt or older sister. he never sees her alone. if he invites her to ride, or to accompany him to an entertainment of any sort, he must always invite her lady friend also; she goes along at any rate. there is afforded no chance for solitary moonlight strolls or rides, nor any other of the similar opportunities made so common by american courting customs. we are no advocates of the formal modes of contracting matrimonial alliances common among many nations, and illustrations of which we find at all ages of the world. for example, among the ancient assyrians it was a custom to sell wives to the highest bidder, at auction, the sums received for the handsomer one being given to the less favored ones as a dowry, to secure a husband for every woman. the same custom prevailed in babylon in ancient times, and has been practiced in modern times in russia. at st. petersburg, not many years ago, an annual sale of wives was held on whit sunday, after the same plan followed by the assyrians. among the early jews it seems to have been the custom for parents to select wives for their sons. in the case of isaac, this important matter was intrusted to an old and experienced servant, who was undoubtedly considered much more competent to select a wife for the young man than he was himself. the same custom has been handed down even to the present time among some oriental nations. in many cases the parties are not allowed to see each other until after the wedding ceremony is completed. the hungarians often betroth their children while they are yet in their cradles, as did the mexicans and brazilians of the last century. in some countries it has even been customary to betroth girls conditionally before they were born. the primitive moravians seem to have adhered to the ancient jewish custom in some degree, though making the selection of a wife a matter of chance. the old people did all the courting there was done, which was not much. when a young man desired a wife, a helpmeet was selected for him by casting lots among the marriageable young ladies of the community, and the young man was obliged to abide by the decision, it being supposed that providence controlled the selection. we are not prepared to say that the young man ran any greater risk of getting an uncongenial or undesirable life companion by this mode of selection than by the more modern modes in vogue among us. as before remarked, we do not present these customs as illustrations of what might be considered a proper mode of conducting the preliminary steps of matrimonial alliances. on the contrary, we unhesitatingly pronounce them decidedly objectionable on moral grounds if not on others, and we can readily see that such unions must have been in many cases exceedingly unsatisfactory. in various other countries, marriage customs quite the opposite from those described have been in vogue. in irving's "knickerbocker's history of new york," a somewhat humorous account is given of a custom which has prevailed in some parts of this country as well as others, even within the memory of persons living at the present day, and is, indeed, said to be not yet altogether obsolete in finland. the author, in dwelling upon the social customs of the early dutch settlers of new york, describes "a singular custom prevalent among them, commonly known by the name of _bundling_,--a superstitious rite observed by the young people of both sexes, with which they usually terminated their festivities, and which was kept up with religious strictness by the more bigoted part of the community. this ceremony was likewise, in those primitive times, considered as an indispensable preliminary to matrimony, their courtships commencing where ours usually finish,--by which means they acquired that intimate acquaintance with each other's good qualities before marriage, which has been pronounced by philosophers the sure basis of a happy union. thus early did this cunning and ingenious people display a shrewdness of making a bargain, which has ever since distinguished them." "to this sagacious custom, therefore, do i chiefly attribute the unparalleled increase of the yanokie or yankee race; for it is a certain fact, well authenticated by court records and parish registers, that, wherever the practice of bundling prevailed, there was an amazing number of sturdy brats annually born into the state, without the license of the law, or the benefit of clergy." long courtships.--chiefly for the reasons presented in the preceding paragraphs, we are opposed to long courtships and long engagements. they are productive of no good, and are not infrequently the occasion of much evil. there may be circumstances which render a prolonged engagement necessary and advisable; but, in general, they are to be avoided. on the other hand, hasty marriages are still more to be deprecated, especially when, as is too commonly the case, the probability is so great that passion is the actuating motive far more than true love. marriage is a matter of most serious consequences, and deserving of the most careful deliberation. too often matrimony is entered upon without any more substantial assurance of happiness as the result than the individual has of securing a valuable prize who buys a ticket in a lottery scheme. in the majority of cases, young people learn more of each other's real character within six weeks after marriage than they discovered during as many months of courting. to every young man and woman we say, look well before you leap; consider well, carefully, and prayerfully. a leap in the dark is a fearful risk, and will be far more likely to land you in a domestic purgatory than anywhere else. do not be dazzled by a handsome face, an agreeable address, a brilliant or piquant manner. choose, rather, modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, qualities of heart and mind, rather than exterior embellishments. "it is folly," suggests a friend, "to give advice on these subjects, for no one will follow advice on this point, no matter how sensible and reasonable he may be on all other subjects. the emotions carry the individual away, and the reason loses control." this is all too true, in nearly all cases. we believe in affection. the emotions have their part to act. we have no sympathy with the theories of those who will have all marriages made by rule. but reason must be allowed a voice in the matter; and although there may be a time when the overwhelming force of the emotions may force the reason and judgment into the background, there has been a time previous when the judgment might have held control. let every young man and woman be most scrupulously careful how he allows emotional excitement to gain the ascendency. when once reason is stifled, the individual is in a most precarious situation. it is far better and easier to prevent the danger than to escape from it. flirtation.--we cannot find language sufficiently emphatic to express proper condemnation of one of the most popular forms of amusement indulged in at the present day in this country, under the guise of innocent association of the sexes. by the majority of people, flirtation is looked upon as harmless, if not useful, as some even consider, claiming that the experience gained by such associations is valuable to young persons, by making them familiar with the customs of society and the ways of the world. we have not the slightest hesitation in pronouncing flirtation as pernicious in the extreme. it exerts a malign influence alike upon the mental, the moral, and the physical constitution of those who indulge it. the young lady who has become infatuated with a passion for flirting, courting the society of young men simply for the pleasure derived from their attentions, is educating herself in a school which will totally unfit her for the enjoyment of domestic peace and happiness should she have all the conditions necessary for such enjoyment other than those which she herself must furnish. more than this, she is very likely laying the foundation for lifelong disease by the dissipation, late hours, late suppers, evening exposures, fashionable dressing, etc., the almost certain accompaniments of the vice we are considering. she is surely sacrificing a life of real true happiness for the transient fascinations of unreal enjoyment, pernicious excitement. it may be true, and undoubtedly is the case, that the greater share of the guilt of flirtation lies at the door of the female sex; but there do exist such detestable creatures as male flirts. in general, the male flirt is a much less worthy character than the young lady who makes a pastime of flirtation. he is something more than a flirt. in nine cases out of ten, he is a rake as well. his object in flirting is to gratify a mean propensity at the expense of those who are pure and unsophisticated. he is skilled in the arts of fascination and intrigue. slowly he winds his coils about his victim, and before she is aware of his real character, she has lost her own. such wretches ought to be punished in a purgatory by themselves, made seven times hotter than for ordinary criminals. society is full of these lecherous villains. they insinuate themselves into the drawing-rooms of the most respectable families; they are always on hand at social gatherings of every sort. they haunt the ball-room, the theater, and the church, when they can forward their infamous plans by seeming to be pious. not infrequently they are well supplied with a stock of pious cant, which they employ on occasion to make an impression. they are the sharks of society, and often seize in their voracious maws the fairest and brightest ornaments of a community. the male flirt is a monster. every man ought to despise him; and every woman ought to spurn him as a loathsome social leper. youthful flirtations.--flirting is not confined to young men and women. the contagion extends to little boys and girls, whose heads ought to be as empty of all thoughts of sexual relations as the vacuum of an air-pump of air. the intimate association of young boys and girls in our common schools, and, indeed, in the majority of educational institutions, gives abundant opportunity for the fostering of this kind of a spirit, so prejudicial to healthful mental and moral development. every educator who is alive to the objects and interests of his profession knows too well the baneful influence of these premature and pernicious tendencies. many times has the teacher watched with a sad heart the withering of all his hopes for the intellectual progress of a naturally gifted scholar by this blighting influence. the most dangerous period for boys and girls exposed to temptations of this sort is that just following puberty, or between the ages of twelve and eighteen or twenty. this period, a prominent educator in one of our western states once denominated, not inappropriately, "the agonizing period of human puppyhood." if this critical period is once safely passed, the individual is comparatively safe; but how many fail to pass through the ordeal unseared! the most painful phase of this subject is the tacit--even, in many cases, active--encouragement which too many parents give their children in this very direction, seemingly in utter ignorance of the enormity of the evil which they are winking at or fostering. parents need enlightenment on this subject, and need to be aroused to the fact that it is one of the most momentous questions that can arise in the rearing and training of children. polygamy.--one hundred years ago the discussion of the public propriety or impropriety of a plurality of wives would have been impossible. polygamy had not obtained a foothold as an institution in any civilized land. being well known as not uncommon among certain heathenish and barbarous tribes, it was looked upon as a heathenish and debasing institution, the outgrowth of ignorance and gross sensuality, and a relic of a sensual age. now, this is no longer true. even in this, the most enlightened of all lands, where there are most ample facilities for culture, for moral and mental development, polygamy holds up its hideous head in defiance of all the laws of god and man. it is true that the perpetrators of this foul crime against humanity and heaven have been driven by the indignation of outraged decency to seek a lurking place in the far-off wilderness of the western territories; yet the foul odors from this festering sore are daily becoming more and more putrescent, and in spite of the distance, are contaminating the already not overstrict morals of the nation. no better evidence of the blighting, searing effect of this gross social crime could be found than the fact that not only is polygamy coming to be winked at as something not so very bad after all, but men from whom we have a right to expect something better are coming forward in its defense. we have just been perusing a work written for the express purpose of justifying and advocating polygamy, which was written by an evangelical clergyman. he was evidently not willing to own his work, however, since his name is carefully excluded from the title-page, and his publisher put under an oath of secrecy. the arguments which he makes in favor of polygamy are chiefly the following:-- . that it is approved by the bible. . that a robust man requires more than one woman to satisfy his sexual demands. . that there are more women than men; and since every woman has a right to have a husband, the only way all can be supplied is to allow several women, two or more, according to the capacity of the man, or as they can agree, to form a marriage partnership with one man. . that the great men of all ages have been polygamists in fact, if not by open profession. . that monogamy is a relic of the paganism of the ancient greeks and romans, with whom it originated. . that it is the only proper and effective cure for the "social evil," and all its attendant vices and dire diseases. as this work has had quite a circulation, bearing the imprint of a well-known boston publisher, and has not received any answer that we are aware of, we deem it worth while to give these arguments, which are very strongly presented, at least a brief passing notice. we will consider them in the order in which we have stated them. . we deny most emphatically the assertion that polygamy is either taught or approved by the bible. it was tolerated in a people who had long been in the darkness of egyptian bondage, but never approved. indeed, the inspired writers have evidently taken pains to give numerous examples of the evils growing out of that violation of the law of god and nature. . the second argument is based upon the asserted fact that man naturally possesses stronger sexual demands than woman; that these demands are imperative; and that it is not only impossible, but in the highest degree injurious, to restrain them. while it is true as a fact affirmed by constant observation that men have stronger passions than women, in general, and that many men demand of their wives a degree of sexual indulgence which is the cause of serious injury to them, and even impossible for them to grant without doing themselves the greatest wrong, it is by no means proven either that these demands are imperative, that they are natural, or that they are not injurious to the man as well as the woman, much less beneficial to either. on the contrary, there is as great a weight of evidence as could be required that restraint, self-control, and moderation in the exercise of the sexual instinct is in the highest degree beneficial to man, as well as to woman, and necessary for his highest development. . while it is true that there are a few more adult women than men, the difference is not sufficiently great to require the introduction of polygamy as a remedy for enforced celibacy. at any rate this would be unnecessary until all bachelors had been provided with wives, when there would be found no necessity for further provision, since there are large numbers of women who are utterly unfit to marry, who would be injured by so doing, and would only serve to degenerate the race, besides making themselves more wretched than they already are. again, it is a well-known fact that more males than females are born, the preponderance of adult females being caused by a greater mortality among male children, together with the losses from accidents and war. by a correct observance of the laws of health, together with the abolition of wars, the disparity in relative numbers of the sexes would disappear. indeed, it might happen that men would be in the preponderance. still again, it is only in a few very populous and long-settled communities that there are more women than men, as in the states of massachusetts, connecticut, and a few others of the eastern states, and a few countries of europe. in all newly settled countries the reverse is true. the inquiry naturally arises, what shall be done under these circumstances? shall a woman be allowed more than one husband, as is actually the case in some countries? "oh! no;" our polygamist replies, "a woman is not capable of loving more than one man, and is not even able to satisfy the sexual demands of a single husband; so, of course, a plurality of husbands is out of the question. a man is capable of loving any number of women, being differently constituted from a woman; and so the same rule does not apply." the writer evidently confounds love with lust. he will grant unstinted reign to the lusts of man, but requires woman to be restrained, offering as an apology for such a manifest unfair and unphilosophical discrimination that "man is differently constituted from a woman, sexually, requiring more active exercise of the sexual functions," a conclusion which could be warranted only by the selection, as a typical specimen of the male part of humanity, of a man with an abnormal development of the animal propensities. a correct understanding and application of the laws of sexual hygiene would effectually sweep away every vestige of argument based on this foundation. . in proof of the propriety of polygamy, as well as of its necessity, the author referred to cites the well-known fact that plato, aristotle, bacon, alexander, caesar, napoleon, burns, byron, augustus, webster, and numerous others of the noted men of all ages have been incontinent men. the fact that these men were guilty of crime does not in the least degree detract from the enormity of the sin. it is equally true that many great men have been addicted to intemperance and other crimes. alexander was a sodomite as well as a lecherous rake. does this fact afford any proof that those crimes are virtues instead of vices? such argument is hardly worthy of serious refutal, since it stultifies itself. . the fact that monogamy was practiced among the ancient greeks and romans is in no way derogatory of it as an institution. even if it could be shown that it originated with those nations, still this would in no way detract from its value or respectability. do not we owe much to those grand old pagans who laid the foundation for nearly all the modern sciences, and established better systems of political economy, and better schools for uniform culture of the whole individual, than any the world has seen since? but monogamy did not originate with the greeks, neither was it invented by the romans, nor by any other nation. it originated with the great originator of the human race. it is an institution which has come down to us, not from greece or rome, but from paradise. if it was so important that man should have more than one woman to supply his sexual demands, why was the creator so short-sighted as to make but one eve? it would have been as easy to remove two or three or half a dozen ribs from adam's side as one; and as the whole world had yet to be populated, a plurality of wives would certainly have accelerated the process. surely, if polygamy was ever required or excusable, it ought to have been allowed at the start. again, when noah went into the ark, taking with him an assortment of all species of animals, he took some kinds by pairs and some by sevens, from which we might suspect, at least, that he observed the laws of nature respecting polygamous and monogamous animals. but he took only one wife for himself, and only one for each of his sons. why not two or half a dozen instead? polygamy would certainly have accelerated the repopulation of the earth most wonderfully; but noah was monogamous. to say, in view of such facts, that monogamy originated with the paganism of ancient greece and rome, is blasphemy. . the argument that polygamy will cure the "social evil" is exactly equivalent to the argument that the removal of all restraint from the sale and manufacture of intoxicating drinks, thus making them cheap and common, is the best remedy for intemperance. an equally good argument might be made for the cure of theft, murder, and every other vice and crime, by a similar plan. such reasoning is the veriest sophistry. none but a biased mind could produce such flimsy arguments. but we forbear. we have already given this subject more attention than it is worthy of, though we have failed to characterize the vice of polygamy as it deserves. we leave this for the reader. polyandry.--perhaps we should add a word or two respecting this custom, which seems to be a still greater outrage against nature than that of polygamy, being the possession of a plurality of husbands by one woman. this practice is in vogue in several countries at the present time, being very common in thibet, where it is not an unusual thing for a woman in marrying the eldest of a family of brothers to include in the contract all of the other brothers as well. polyandry was also common among the ancient medes. indeed, the medes practiced both polygamy and polyandry. a man was not considered respectable unless he had at least seven wives; neither were women considered worthy of general esteem unless they had as many as five husbands. in that country, the fact that a woman was already married was in no degree a barrier to subsequent marriages, even while the husband was living, and without the trouble of a divorce. those who maintain the propriety of polygamy would do well to consider the historic facts respecting the opposite practice. there appear to be as good grounds for believing one to have a basis in the human constitution as the other. divorce.--another of the crying evils of the day, and one which menaces in a most alarming manner the most sacred interests of society, is the facility with which divorces may be obtained. in some states the laws regulating divorce are so notoriously loose that scores and even hundreds of people visit the states referred to every year with no other object than to obtain a dissolution of the bonds of matrimony. the effect of this looseness in the laws is to encourage hasty, inconsiderate marriages, and to make escape from an uncongenial partner so easy that the obligation to cultivate forbearance and to acquire mutual adaptation which may not at first exist, is wholly overlooked. the bible rule for divorce, laid down by the great teacher, is little regarded in these degenerate days. he made adultery the only legitimate cause for divorce; yet we now see married people breaking asunder their solemn marriage ties on the occurrence of the most trivial difficulties. if a couple become tired of each other and desire a change, all they have to do is to forward the fee to a new york or chicago lawyer, and they will receive back in a short time the legal papers duly signed, granting them the desired annulment of their vows. although countenanced by human laws, there can be no doubt that this shameless trifling with a divine institution is regarded by high heaven as the vilest abomination. in no direction is there greater need of reformatory legislation than in this. the marriage contract should be recognized in our laws as one which cannot be made and broken so lightly as it now is. it should be annulled only for the most serious offenses. the contrary course now pursued so frequently is most detrimental to morals. our divorce laws virtually offer a premium for unchastity. not infrequently we see among the advertisements in the newspapers notices like the following: "the undersigned is prepared to furnish divorces to parties desiring the same at moderate rates, in short time, and without publicity. ---- ----." the animus of these advertisements is fraud. the parties so engaged are the vilest scoundrels; and that they are allowed to continue to ply their nefarious vocation is a foul blot upon the enlightened civilization of a so-called christian country. a publisher who will insert such a notice in his journal, would advertise a brothel if he dared. while there is so much interest in the suppression of obscene literature, we would suggest that the proper authorities should direct their attention to the suppression of unlawful divorces, and the proper punishment of the villains engaged in forwarding this nefarious business. who may not marry.--many writers devote much space in laying down rules which are to be implicitly followed by those seeking life partners. we have attempted nothing of the sort, both from its impracticability, and from the fact that such rules are never followed; and if the attempt should be made to follow the prescribed rules, we are not sure that more good than harm would be the result. hence, we shall content ourselves with calling attention to a few facts of great importance respecting the conditions which imperatively forbid marriage, and which cannot be violated without the certain entailment of great suffering. _ . persons suffering with serious disease of a character communicable to others by contagion or by hereditary transmission._ many people wonder why it is that diseases are so much more numerous and varied in modern times than in the earlier ages of the race. there has been an evident increase within a few centuries. while there are, undoubtedly, numerous influencing causes, one which cannot be overlooked is the hereditary transmission of disease, which preserves those disorders which already exist, and adds new ones which originate from new exciting causes. by this means, the human race is undoubtedly being weakened, human life shortened, and diseases multiplied. compare the average age of human beings of the present day, less than forty years, with the longevity of the early members of the race, who lived more than as many score of years. some mighty deteriorating influence has been at work; and we hazard nothing in the assertion that the marriage of diseased persons and kindred violations of the laws of human hygiene have been not unimportant factors in producing this most appalling diminution in the length of human life. among the diseases which are most certain to be transmitted are pulmonary tuberculosis, or consumption, syphilis, cancer, leprosy, epilepsy, and some other nervous disorders, some forms of skin disease, and insanity. the list might be extended; but these are the more common. persons suffering with these disorders have no right to marry, for at least four reasons:-- ( ) it is a sin against the offspring of such unions, who have a right to be born well, but are forced to come into the world with weakly constitutions, diseased frames, and the certainty of premature death. the children of consumptive and syphilitic parents rarely survive infancy. if they do, it is only to suffer later on, as they surely will, and, perhaps, to communicate the same destructive diseases to other human beings; but these diseases rarely extend beyond the third generation, the line becoming extinct. the most heart-rending spectacles we have ever met have been the children of parents suffering with the diseases mentioned. their appearance is characteristic; no physician of experience can fail to detect the sins of a profligate parent in a syphilitic child. every feature indicates the presence of a blighting curse. there are those who assert that a man who has suffered with disease of the character last mentioned may marry after the lapse of two or three years from the disappearance of the active symptoms of the malady. such assertions we consider as most dangerous and pernicious. the individuals who make them are well acquainted with the fact that of all diseases this is the most difficult to eradicate when once the system has become thoroughly infected by it. not only three years but thirty years may elapse after active symptoms disappear, yet the disease may break out again in a new and still more serious and complicated form. it may even lie entirely dormant or latent in the system of the parent during his lifetime, but break out in all its terrible destructiveness in his children. a man or woman who has once suffered with this fell disease is contaminated for life; and it is a crime for such an one to entail upon innocent, unoffending human beings such a terrible legacy. such a person has no right to marry; or if married, has no right to perpetuate the results of his sins in offspring. it is _never safe_ to say to a man who has once been infected that he is cured. if a cure ever takes place, it is exceedingly rare. ( ) it is a crime against the race. one of the primary objects of marriage is reproduction. as members of the human race, it is the duty of parents to produce a high type of human beings, at least to do all in their power to produce healthy offspring. if they cannot do this, and are aware of the fact, they are guilty of abuse of the reproductive function in bringing sickly offspring into the world to suffer. ( ) it is injurious to the contracting parties themselves. if a person has a communicable disease, as syphilis, leprosy, and some bad forms of skin disease, the disease will certainly be communicated to the wife or husband, and so a double amount of suffering will be entailed. the dread disease, consumption, rightly called the scourge of civilization, is now well known to be communicable. a few years ago we were consulted by an old gentleman, a native of canada, who was suffering with pulmonary disease. we inquired respecting the history of the malady. said he, "doctor, it may seem strange, but i believe i _inherited_ consumption from my wife, who died of consumption a few years ago." excepting the wrong use of the term inherit, we were not prepared to dispute the old gentleman's ideas respecting the origin of his disease. living in close association for years with his wife, who was slowly dying with disease of the lungs, it was quite possible for him to have received the disease from her. so many cases of this kind have been reported that it is now generally believed by medical men that consumption is communicable from one person to another by the reception into the system of the well person of the exhalations from the lungs of the person affected. another point worthy of mention here is the well-known fact that the intimate association of married people modifies even the physical form of both. almost every one has noticed how much alike in appearance married people who have lived many years together come to be. this physical change undoubtedly extends further than to the features only. the whole constitution is modified. a remarkable illustration of this fact is found in the frequent observation that the children of a woman by a second husband often resemble in appearance the first husband much more than their own father. it has been observed that the children of negro women, even by husbands of pure negro blood, are much lighter in color than usual if she has had a child by a white man previously. the same fact is observed in lower animals. in england, some years ago, a cross was effected between a male zebra and several young mares. not only the hybrid colts resulting from this union, but all the colts afterward foaled by the same mares, from other horses, were striped like the zebra. in view of these facts, it is evident that the system of the woman, at least, may be profoundly affected in a similar manner by constitutional weaknesses, as well as by other individual peculiarities possessed by her husband. no person suffering with a contagious or infectious disease has any right to communicate the same to another. indeed, it is the moral duty of every person so affected to do all in his power for the protection of others from the same cause of suffering. _ . persons having a marked hereditary tendency to disease must not marry those having a similar tendency._ every physician knows only too well the powerful influence of hereditary causes in determining the length of human life. persons, one or both of whose parents have died of consumption, are very likely to die of the same disease, and frequently at about the same age. the children of such parents are commonly feeble and puny, and die early if they survive infancy. when both parents possess the consumptive tendency, the chance for life in the offspring is very poor indeed. the same may be said of those suffering with cancer, epilepsy, insanity, etc. persons with a strong tendency to any one of the diseases mentioned should in no case marry. if there is but a slight morbid tendency, marriage may be admissible, but only with a partner possessing robust health. _ . should cousins marry?_ writers have devoted a good deal of attention to this subject, and we have been shown statistics, reports of imbecile asylums, etc., for the purpose of proving that the marriage of cousins results in the production of idiots, and other defectives; but the results of more careful examinations of the subject invalidate the views heretofore held, and it must be acknowledged that when both parties are healthy there is no more liability of mental incompetency in the children of cousins, than in the offspring of persons more remotely related. it must be added, however, that there are other reasons why the marriage of cousins is not to be generally recommended. besides the fact that the feeling existing between cousins is often only that which is felt by brothers and sisters for each other, there is the still more important fact that on account of the blood relation, unions of this kind are more apt than others to bring together persons having similar morbid tendencies. _ . persons having serious congenital deformities should not marry._ the reason for this rule is obvious. persons suffering with serious congenital defects, as natural blindness, deafness, deformity of the limbs, or defective development of any part, will be more or less likely to transmit the same deformities or deficiencies to their children. there are, of course, cases of natural blindness, as well as of disability in other respects, to which this rule does not apply, the natural process of development not being seriously defective. it has even been observed that there is a slight tendency to the reproduction in the offspring, of deformity which has been artificially produced in the parents, and has existed for a long time. many ancient nations observed this rule. infants born cripples were strangled at birth or left to die. a spartan king was once required by his people to pay a heavy fine for taking a wife who was inferior in size. _ . criminals should not marry._ it has been satisfactorily shown by thorough and scientific investigation that criminals often receive their evil proclivities from their parents. what are known as the criminal classes, which are responsible for the greater part of the crime committed, are constantly and greatly on the increase. there is no doubt but that inheritance is largely responsible for the continued increase of crime and criminals. a drunkard begets in his child a thirst for liquor, which is augmented by the mother's use of ale or lager during gestation and nursing, and the child enters the world with a natural taste for intoxicants. a thief transmits to his offspring a secretive, dishonest, sneaking disposition; and the child comes into the world ticketed for the state prison by the nearest route. so with other evil tendencies. by legislation or by some other means, measures should be speedily adopted for the prevention of this rapid increase of criminals, if there is any feasible plan which can be adopted. we offer no suggestion on this point, but it is one well worthy of the consideration of philanthropic statesmen. _ . persons who are greatly disproportionate in size should not marry._ while good taste would suggest the propriety of this rule, there are important physiological reasons for its observance. while the lack of physical adaptitude may be the occasion of much suffering and unhappiness in such unions, especially on the part of the wife, being even productive of most serious local disease, and sometimes of sterility, it is in childbirth that the greatest risk and suffering is incurred. more might be said on this point, but this is sufficient for those who are willing to profit by a useful hint. _ . persons between whom there is great disparity of age should not marry._ the reasons for this have already been given at length, and we will not repeat. in general, the husband should be older than the wife, from two to five years. the husband may often be ten or twelve years the senior of the wife; but when more than that, the union is not likely to be a profitable or happy one, if it is not absolutely productive of suffering and unhappiness. the ancient greeks required that the husband should be twenty years older than the wife; but this custom was no more reasonable than that of another nation which required that only old and young should marry, so that the sobriety of the old might restrain the frivolity of the young. _ . persons who are extremely unlike in temperament should not marry._ persons who are so unlike in temperament and tastes as to have no mutual enjoyments, no congeniality of feeling, will be incompatible as husband and wife, and the union of such persons will be anything but felicitous. no definite rule can be laid down; but those seeking a companion for life would do well to bear this caution in mind, at the same time remembering that too great similarity of character, especially when there are prominent defects, is equally undesirable. _ . marriage between widely different races is unadvisable._ while there is no moral precept directly involved in marriage between widely different nations, as between whites and blacks or indians, experience shows that such marriages are not only not conducive to happiness, but are detrimental to the offspring. it has been proven beyond room for question that mulattoes are not so long-lived as either blacks or whites. _ . persons who are unable to sustain themselves or a family should not marry._ both moral and social obligations--if the two obligations may exist independently--forbid marriage to a young man who is scarcely able to provide for himself, much less to support a wife and a family. the theory advocated by some that two can live almost as cheaply as one, so that a saving will be made by a union of two in marriage, is a most fallacious one. there may be occasional exceptions, but in general, young people who marry with this idea in their heads find that they have reasoned not wisely. it will not be disputed that a married couple may live upon what is often spent foolishly by a young man; but a young man can be economical if he will; and if he does not learn economy before marriage, it is likely that he never will learn it. the marriage of paupers, to beget pauper children and foist them upon the community for support, is an outrage against society. we believe it is not improper to speak out plainly upon this subject, and in no uncertain tone, notwithstanding the popular prejudice which cries, "hush, be quiet; don't interfere with individual rights, don't disturb the peace of society," whenever anything is said which has a bearing on a regard for propriety in matters relating to one of the most ancient, the most sacred, and the most abused of all divinely appointed human institutions. we have never been able to account for this strange averseness to the consideration of this phase of the matrimonial question, and the determined effort often made to ignore it whenever it is broached. we purpose to speak out, notwithstanding the feeling referred to, since we believe this to be a crying evil; and we have no fears but that we shall have the hearty indorsement of every individual who can so far lay aside his prejudices as to allow his native common sense a fair chance to influence his judgment. in the country of iceland, a land which is scarcely more than semi-civilized, if a young man wishes to marry, the first thing to be considered is his pecuniary situation. before he can take to himself a wife, he must appear before the proper authority and present evidence that he is able to support a wife and family in addition to providing for himself. even the barbarous natives of patagonia show an equal degree of good sense, the chief of each tribe requiring that every young man who wishes to marry shall first prove himself competent to provide for a family, having attained the requisite degree of proficiency in hunting and fishing, and having possessed himself of at least two horses and the necessary equipments. in this country,--a civilized, so-called christian country, blessed with all the enlightenment of the nineteenth century, what do we see? instead of any regulation of the sort, the utmost indifference to such clearly important considerations. if young people profess to love each other and wish to marry, no one of their friends thinks of asking, "how are they going to live after they are married? has the young man a trade? has the young lady been so educated as to be self-sustaining if necessary? has the young man a home or the wherewithal to obtain one? has he a good situation, with prospects of being able to support his wife comfortably and provide for a family?" these, or similar questions are sometimes asked, but little respect is paid to them by any one, least of all by the young people themselves, who ought to be most interested. the minister never inquires respecting the propriety of the wedding at which he is to officiate, and invokes the blessings of heaven upon a union which, for aught he knows, may be the grossest violation of immutable laws, heaven-implanted in the constitution of the human race. the friends tender their congratulations and wishes of "much joy," when in three cases out of four the conditions are such that a preponderance of grief is an inevitable certainty, and "much joy" an utter impossibility. there are exceptions to all general rules; but it is a fact of which almost any one may convince himself that a man or a woman seldom rises much higher than the level reached at marriage. if a young man has no trade then, it is more than probable that he will never be master of one. if he has not fitted himself for a profession, he will most likely never attain to such a rank in society. he will, in all probability, be a common laborer, living "from hand to mouth," with nothing laid by for a rainy day. a wag says that a young couple just married, and for the first time awakened to the full consciousness of the fact that they must provide for themselves or starve, held the following dialogue: husband. "well, wife, what are we going to do? how shall we live?" wife. "oh, my dear, we shall get along very well, i am sure; you love me, don't you?" h. "certainly, dear, but we cannot live on love." w. "we can live on bread and water; so long as we have each other, it doesn't matter much what we have to eat." "that's so, my dear; well, you furnish the bread, and i will skirmish around after the water." this exact dialogue may never have taken place; but the circumstances which might have called it out have occurred thousands of times. how many times has a dependent woman who had hastily married an improvident husband awakened at the end of a short honeymoon to find that she had only a limber stick or a broken reed to lean upon, instead of a self-reliant, independent, self-sustaining man, able to provide for her the comforts of a home and to protect her from the rudeness and suffering of privation and want. in our estimation it is as much a sin for a man to assume the obligation of caring for a wife and family when he has no reasonable grounds for believing himself able to do so, as for a man to go in debt a few hundreds or thousands of dollars, and agree to pay the same when required, though perfectly well aware that he will probably be unable to do so. hence we say again, with emphasis, the improvident should not marry; and we shall insist upon urging this truth, notwithstanding the fact that the very class of persons referred to are usually of all classes the most anxious to enter the matrimonial state at the earliest possible moment, and the most certain to bring into the world large families of children still more improvident than themselves. _ . do not marry a person whose moral character will not bear the closest scrutiny._ by this we do not mean that absolute perfection should be required, as this would interdict marriage altogether; but we wish to warn every young man against marrying a young woman who treats lightly or contemptuously matters which should be treated with profound respect; who uses the name of deity flippantly or rudely; who treats her parents disrespectfully; who never cares to talk of subjects of a spiritual nature; who is giddy, gay, dressy, thoughtless, fickle. such a young woman will never make a loving, patient, faithful, helpful wife. we wish also to warn every young woman against choosing for a husband a man who has a strong leaning toward infidelity; who does not believe in human responsibility; who makes a mock of religion; who is addicted to profanity; who is either grossly intemperate or given to moderate tippling, be it ever so little, so long as he does not believe in and practice total abstinence; who uses tobacco; who is a jockey, a fop, a loafer, a scheming dreamer, or a speculator; who is known to be unchaste, or who has led a licentious life. the man who has no love for his maker will be likely to have little for his wife and children. he who does not acknowledge his responsibility to a higher power will soon forget his obligations to the wife he has promised to love and cherish. the man who is not willing to sacrifice the gratification afforded by such pernicious habits as dram-drinking and tobacco-using to insure the comfort and happiness of his wife and children, is too selfish to make any woman a kind husband. there is no greater error abroad than that held by not a few that "a reformed rake makes the best husband." the man whose affections have been consumed in the fires of unhallowed lust is incapable of giving to a pure-minded woman the love that she expects and deserves. a person cannot pass through the fire unscathed. the scars burned into the character by the flames of concupiscence are as deep and lasting as those inflicted upon the body, and even more so. only "in the regeneration" will the marks and scars of the reformed reprobate be wholly effaced. we willingly grant that there have been numerous instances in which noble women have by years of patient effort reformed their erring husbands, restoring them to the paths of virtue and sobriety from which they had wandered. we do not deny that it can be done again; but we do not hesitate to say that the experiment is a most perilous one for any woman to undertake, and one which not more than one woman in a hundred can bring to a successful termination. the hazard is terrible. perhaps it is on this very account that many young women run the risk; but they rarely understand what they are doing. the woman who marries a drunkard will, ten chances to one, die a heart-broken drunkard's wife, or follow her husband to a drunkard's grave. it is never safe for a woman to marry a man who has been for years an habitual drunkard, since he may relapse at any time; and the man who has only indulged moderately should be thoroughly reformed and tested before the chances are taken "for better or worse." let him prove himself well first. a proposition to reform on condition of marriage should be dismissed with disdain. if a young man will not determine to do right because it is right, his motives are sordid; and the probability is very great that so soon as some stronger incentive appeals to his selfishness, he will forget his vows and promises and relapse into his former vices. do not be in a hurry.--in conclusion, perhaps we could give no more important advice than this: _do not be in a hurry to marry._ there is little danger that this advice will do harm, for ten illustrations of the evil results of hasty marriage are seen to one in which the opposite mistake is made. it rarely happens that a marriage made without consideration and due deliberation on the part of both parties is a happy one in its results. there are exceptional cases in which this kind of matrimonial alliances result very satisfactorily; but these cases are quite exceptional. the business of selecting a partner for life, one who is expected to sustain the closest relation possible between human beings, who must be prepared to share in another's sorrows as well as joys, to sympathize with another's aspirations and appreciate another's motives and sentiments,--such a task is certainly one of the most serious of an individual's life and ought to be entered upon with calmness, deliberation, and unbiased judgment and entire self-control. when making a decision which must affect seriously an individual's whole life-time, passion, caprice, and all motives calculated to bias the judgment, should be laid aside. the happiness and usefulness of a whole life-time may be marred by a word. there is too much pending to be in a hurry. a certain philosopher once "compared a man about to marry to one who was about to put his hand into a sack in which were ninety-nine serpents and one eel; the moral of which is that there are ninety-nine chances to one against a fortunate selection." if this is true of a man about to marry, it is probably equally true that a woman under the same circumstances has nine hundred and ninety-nine chances against, for one in favor of, a fortunate selection. chastity. "thou shalt not commit adultery." "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." in these two scriptures we have a complete definition of unchastity. the seventh commandment, with the saviour's commentary upon it, places clearly before us the fact that chastity requires purity of thought as well as of outward acts. impure thoughts and unchaste acts are alike violations of the seventh commandment. as we shall see, also, unchastity of the mind is a violation of natural law as well as of moral law, and is visited with physical punishment commensurate to the transgression. mental unchastity.--it is vain for a man to suppose himself chaste who allows his imagination to run riot amid scenes of amorous associations. the man whose lips delight in tales of licentiousness, whose eyes feast upon obscene pictures, who is ever ready to pervert the meaning of a harmless word or act into uncleanness, who finds delight in reading vivid portrayals of acts of lewdness,--such a one is not a virtuous man. though he may never have committed an overt act of unchastity, if he cannot pass a handsome female in the street without, in imagination, approaching the secrets of her person, he is but one grade above the open libertine, and is as truly unchaste as the veriest debauchee. man may not see these mental adulteries, he may not perceive these filthy imaginings; but one sees and notes them. they leave their hideous scars upon the soul. they soil and mar the mind; and as the record of each day of life is photographed upon the books in heaven, they each appear in bold relief, in all their innate hideousness. o purity! how rare a virtue! how rare to find a face which shows no trace of sensuality! one turns with sadness from the thought that human "forms divine" have sunk so low. the standard of virtue is trailing in the dust. men laugh at vice, and sneer at purity. the bawdy laugh, the ribald jest, the sensual glance, the obscene song, the filthy tale, salute the eyes and ears at every street corner, in the horse-car, on the railroad train, in the bar-room, the lecture hall, the workshop. in short, the works and signs of vice are omnipresent. foul thoughts, once allowed to enter the mind, stick like the leprosy. they corrode, contaminate, and infect like the pestilence; naught but almighty power can deliver from the bondage of concupiscence a soul once infected by this foul blight, this moral contagium. mental uncleanness.--it is a wide-spread and deadly error, that only outward acts are harmful; that only physical transgression of the laws of chastity will produce disease. we have seen all the effects of beastly abuse result from mental sin alone. "i have traced serious affections and very great suffering to this cause. the cases may occur at any period of life. we meet with them frequently among such as are usually called, or think themselves, continent young men. there are large classes of persons who seem to think that they may, without moral guilt, excite their own feelings or those of others by loose or libidinous conversation in society, provided such impure thoughts or acts are not followed by masturbation or fornication. i have almost daily to tell such persons that physically, and in a sanitary point of view, they are ruining their constitutions. there are young men who almost pass their lives in making carnal acquaintances in the street, but just stop short of seducing girls; there are others who haunt the lower classes of places of public amusement for the purpose of sexual excitement, and live, in fact, a thoroughly immoral life in all respects except actually going home with prostitutes. when these men come to me, laboring under the various forms of impotence, they are surprised at my suggesting to them the possibility of the impairment of their powers being dependent upon these previous vicious habits."[ ] [footnote : acton.] "those lascivious _day-dreams_ and amorous reveries, in which young people--and especially the idle and the voluptuous, and the sedentary and the nervous--are exceedingly apt to indulge, are often the sources of general debility, effeminacy, disordered functions, premature disease, and even premature death, without the actual exercise of the genital organs! indeed, this unchastity of thought--this adultery of the mind--is the beginning of immeasurable evil to the human family."[ ] [footnote : graham.] amativeness.--certain phrenologists contend that the controlling center of the sexual passion is the cerebellum, or little brain, which is situated at the lower and back part of the head. they apparently love to dwell upon the theme, and ride their hobby upon all possible occasions, often in the most disgusting manner, and always leaving the impression that they must be themselves suffering from perversion of the very function of which they speak. there may be some doubt whether the function called amativeness is located in the cerebellum at all; at least, it is perfectly certain that amativeness is not the exclusive function of the cerebellum. says carpenter, the learned physiologist, "the seat of the sexual sensation is no longer supposed to be in the cerebellum generally; but probably in its central portion, or some part of the medulla oblongata." the cerebellum is intimately connected with the principal vital organs; hence, if it is largely developed, the individual will possess a well-developed physical organism and a good degree of constitutional vigor. he will have vigorous health, and probably strong sexual powers; not, however, as a special function, but for the same reason that he will have a good digestion. to the majority of mankind, apparently, amativeness, or sexual love, means lust. the faculty has been lowered and debased until it might almost be considered practically synonymous with sensuality. the first step toward reform must be a recognition of a higher and purer relation than that which centers every thought upon the gratification of the animal in human nature. if one may judge from the facts which now and then come to the surface in society, it would appear that the opportunity for sensual gratification had come to be, in the world at large, the chief attraction between the sexes. if to these observations we add the filthy disclosures constantly made in police courts and scandal suits, we have a powerful confirmation of the opinion. even ministers, who ought to be "ensamples to the flock," are rather "blind leaders of the blind," and fall into the same ditch with the rest. this perversion of a natural instinct, and these sudden lapses from virtue which startle a small portion of community and afford a filthy kind of pleasure to the other part, are but the outgrowths of mental unchastity. "filthy dreamers," before they are aware, become filthy in action. the thoughts mold the brain, as certainly as the brain molds the thoughts. rapidly down the current of sensuality is swept the individual who yields his imagination to the contemplation of lascivious themes. before he knows his danger, he finds himself deep in the mire of concupiscence. he may preserve a fair exterior; but deception cannot cleanse the slime from his putrid soul. how many a church-member carries under a garb of piety a soul filled with abominations, no human scrutiny can tell. how many pulpits are filled by "whited sepulchers," only the judgment will disclose. unchaste conversation.--"out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." "every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." "by thy words thou shalt be condemned." matt. : , , . in these three brief sentences, christ presents the whole moral aspect of the subject of this paragraph. to any one who will ponder well his weighty words, no further remark is necessary. let filthy talkers but consider for a moment what a multitude of "idle," unclean words are waiting for account in the final day; and then let them consider what a load of condemnation must roll upon their guilty souls when strict justice is meted out to every one before the bar of omnipotence, and in the face of all the world--of all the universe. the almost universal habit among boys and young men of relating filthy stories, indulging in foul jokes, making indecent allusions, and subjecting to lewd criticism every passing female, is a most abominable sin. such habits crush out pure thoughts; they annihilate respect for virtue; they make the mind a quagmire of obscenity; they lead to overt acts of lewdness. but boys and youths are not alone in this. more often than otherwise, they gain from older ones the phraseology of vice. and if the sin is loathsome in such youthful transgressors, what detestable enormity must characterize it in the old. and women, too, are not without their share in this accursed thing, this ghost of vice, which haunts the sewing-circle and the parlor as well as the club-room. they do not, of course, often descend to those black depths of vulgarity to which the coarser sex will go, but couch in finer terms the same foul thoughts, and hide in loose insinuations more smut than words could well express. women who think themselves rare paragons of virtue can find no greater pleasure than in the discussion of the latest scandal, speculations about the chastity of mrs. a. or mr. b., and gossip about the "fall" of this man's daughter or the amorous adventures of that woman's son. masculine purity loves to regard woman as chaste in mind as well as in body, to surround her with conceptions of purity and impregnable virtue; but the conclusion is irresistible that those who can gloat over others' lapses from virtue, and find delight in such questionable entertainments as the most recent case of seduction, or the newest scandal, have need to purify their hearts and re-enforce their waning chastity. nevertheless, a writer says, and perhaps truly, that "the women comprise about all the real virtue there is in the world." certainly if they were one-half as bad as the masculine portion of humanity, the world would be vastly worse than it is. causes of unchastity.--travelers among the north american indians have been struck with the almost entire absence of that abandonment to vice which might be expected in a race uninfluenced by the moral restraints of christianity. when first discovered in their native wilds, they were free from both the vices and the consequent diseases of civilization. this fact points unmistakably to the conclusion that there must be something in the refinements and perversions of civilized life which is unfavorable to chastity, notwithstanding all the restraints which religion and the conventionalisms of society impose. can we find such influences? yes; they abound on every hand and leave their blight in most unwelcome places, oft unsuspected, even, till the work of ruin is complete. early causes.--the earliest of all causes is hereditary predisposition. as we have shown, a child conceived in lust can no more be chaste by nature than a negro can be a caucasian. but back of this there is a deeper cause, as we shall see, one that affects parents as well as offspring. between infancy and puberty, are in operation, all those influences mentioned under "sexual precocity." the frequent custom of allowing children of the opposite sex to sleep together, even until eight or ten years of age, or longer, is a dangerous one. we have known of instances in which little boys of seven or eight have been allowed to sleep with girls of fourteen or sixteen, in some of which most shameful lessons were taught, and by persons who would not be suspected of such an impropriety. in one instance a little boy of eight, occupying the same bed with three girls several years older, was used for illustration by the older girl in instructing the younger ones in the _modus operandi_ of reproduction. the sexes should be carefully separated from each other at least as early as four or five years of age, under all circumstances which could afford opportunity for observing the physical differences of the sexes, or in any way serve to excite those passions which at this tender age should be wholly dormant. diet vs. chastity.--from earliest infancy to impotent old age, under the perverting influence of civilization, there is a constant antagonism between diet and purity. sometimes--rarely we hope--the helpless infant imbibes the essence of libidinous desires with its mother's milk, and thence receives upon its forming brain the stamp of vice. when old enough to take food in the ordinary way, the infant's tender organs of digestion are plied with highly seasoned viands, stimulating sauces, animal food, sweetmeats, and dainty tidbits in endless variety. soon, tea and coffee are added to the list. salt, pepper, ginger, mustard, condiments of every sort, deteriorate his daily food. if, perchance, he does not die at once of indigestion, or with his weakened forces fall a speedy victim to the diseases incident to infancy, he has his digestive organs impaired for life at the very outset of his existence. exciting stimulants and condiments weaken and irritate his nerves and derange the circulation. thus, indirectly, they affect the sexual system, which suffers through sympathy with the other organs. but a more direct injury is done. flesh, condiments, eggs, tea, coffee, chocolate, and all stimulants, have a powerful influence directly upon the reproductive organs. they increase the local supply of blood; and through nervous sympathy with the brain, the passions are aroused. overeating, eating between meals, hasty eating, eating indigestible articles of food, late suppers, react upon the sexual organs with the utmost certainty. any disturbance of the digestive function deteriorates the quality of the blood. poor blood, filled with crude, poorly digested food, is irritating to the nervous system, and especially to those extremely delicate nerves which govern the reproductive function. irritation provokes congestion; congestion excites sexual desires; excited passions increase the local disturbance; and thus each reacts upon the other, ever increasing the injury and the liability to future damage. thus, these exciting causes continue their insidious work through youth and more mature years. right under the eyes of fathers and mothers they work the ruin of their children, exciting such storms of passion as are absolutely uncontrollable. clerical lapses.--our most profound disgust is justly excited when we hear of laxity of morals in a clergyman. we naturally feel that one whose calling is to teach his fellow-men the way of truth, and right, and purity, should himself be free from taint of immorality. but when we consider how these ministers are fed, we cannot suppress a momentary disposition to excuse, in some degree, their fault. when the minister goes out to tea, he is served with the richest cake, the choicest jellies, the most pungent sauces, and the finest of fine-flour bread-stuffs. little does the indulgent hostess dream that she is ministering to the inflammation of passions which may imperil the virtue of her daughter, or even her own. salacity once aroused, even in a minister, allows no room for reason or for conscience. if women wish to preserve the virtue of their ministers, let them feed them more in accordance with the laws of health. ministers are not immaculate. the remedy for the dangers to chastity arising from this source, is pointed out in the article on "continence." tobacco and vice.--few are aware of the influence upon morals exerted by that filthy habit, tobacco-using. when acquired early, it excites the undeveloped organs, arouses the passions, and in a few years converts the once chaste and pure youth into a veritable volcano of lust, belching out from its inner fires of passion torrents of obscenity and the sulphurous fumes of lasciviousness. if long-continued, the final effect of tobacco is emasculation; but this is only the necessary consequence of previous super-excitation. the lecherous day-dreams in which many smokers indulge, are a species of fornication for which even a brute ought to blush, if such a crime were possible for a brute. the mental libertine does not confine himself to bagnios and women of the town. in the foulness of his imagination, he invades the sanctity of virtue wherever his erotic fancy leads him. we are aware that we have made a grave charge against tobacco, and we have not hesitated to state the naked truth; yet we do not think we have exaggerated, in the least, the pernicious influence of this foul drug. as much, or nearly as much, might be said against the use of liquor, on the same grounds. bad books.--another potent enemy of virtue is the obscene literature which has flooded the land for many years. circulated by secret agencies, these books have found their way into the most secluded districts. nearly every large school contains one of these emissaries of evil men and their satanic master. some idea of the enormity and extent of this evil may be gained from the following quotations from a published letter of mr. anthony comstock, who has been for some time employed by the young men's christian association in suppressing the traffic by arresting the publishers and destroying their goods:-- "i have succeeded in unearthing this hydra-headed monster in part, as you will see by the following statement, which, in many respects, might be truthfully increased in quantity. these i have seized and destroyed:-- "obscene photographs, stereoscopic and other pictures, more than one hundred and eighty-two thousand; obscene books and pamphlets, more than five tons; obscene letter-press in sheets, more than two tons; sheets of impure songs, catalogues, handbills, etc., more than twenty-one thousand; obscene microscopic watch and knife charms, and finger-rings, more than five thousand; obscene negative plates for printing photographs and stereoscopic views, about six hundred and twenty-five; obscene engraved steel and copper plates, three hundred and fifty; obscene lithographic stones destroyed, twenty; obscene wood-cut engravings, more than five hundred; stereotype plates for printing obscene books, more than five tons; obscene transparent playing-cards, nearly six thousand; obscene and immoral rubber articles, over thirty thousand; lead molds for manufacturing rubber goods, twelve sets, or more than seven hundred pounds; newspapers seized, about four thousand six hundred; letters from all parts of the country ordering these goods, about fifteen thousand; names of dealers in account-books seized, about six thousand; lists of names in the hands of dealers, that are sold as merchandise to forward circulars or catalogues to, independent of letters and account-books seized, more than seven thousand; arrest of dealers since oct. , , more than fifty." "these abominations are disseminated by these men first obtaining the names and addresses of scholars and students in our schools and colleges, and then forwarding circulars. they secure thousands of names in this way, either by sending for a catalogue of schools, seminaries, and colleges, under a pretense of sending a child to attend these places, or else by sending out a circular purporting to be getting up a directory of all the scholars and students in schools and colleges in the united states, or of taking the census of all the unmarried people, and offering to pay five cents per name for lists so sent. i need not say that the money is seldom or never sent, but i do say that these names, together with those that come in reply to advertisements, are sold to other parties; so that when a man desires to engage in this nefarious business, he has only to purchase a list of these names, and then your child, be it son or daughter, is liable to have thrust into its hands, all unknown to you, one of these devilish catalogues." "since the destruction of the stereotype plates of old books, secret circulars have been discovered of a notice to dealers that twelve new books are in course of preparation, and will soon be ready for delivery." says hon. c. l. merriam, as quoted by dr. lewis: "we find that the dealers in obscene literature have organized circulating libraries, which are under the charge of the most vicious boys in the schools, boys chosen and paid by the venders, and who circulate among the students, at ten cents a volume, any of the one hundred and forty-four obscene books heretofore published in new york city." largely through the influence of mr. comstock, laws have been enacted which promise to do much toward checking this extensive evil, or at least causing it to make itself less prominent. our newspapers still abound with advertisements of various so-called medical works, "marriage guides," etc., which are fruits of the same "upas-tree" that mr. comstock has labored so faithfully to uproot. it is a painful fact, however, that the total annihilation of every foul book which the law can reach will not effect the cure of this evil, for our modern literature is full of the same virus. it is necessarily presented in less grossly revolting forms, half concealed by beautiful imagery, or embellished by wit; but yet, there it is, and no law can reach it. the works of our standard authors in literature abound in lubricity. popular novels have doubtless done more to arouse a prurient curiosity in the young, and to excite and foster passion and immorality, than even the obscene literature for the suppression of which such active measures have recently been taken. the more exquisitely painted the scenes of vice, the more dangerously enticing. novel-reading has led thousands to lives of dissoluteness. idleness.--this evil is usually combined with the preceding. to maintain purity, the mind must be occupied. if left without occupation, the vacuity is quickly filled with unchaste thoughts. nothing can be worse for a child than to be reared in idleness. his morals will be certain to suffer. incessant mental occupation is the only safeguard against unchastity. those worthless fops who spend their lives in "killing time" by lounging about bar-rooms, loafing on street corners, or strutting up and down the boulevard, are anything but chaste. those equally worthless young women who waste their lives on sofas or in easy-chairs, occupied only with some silly novel, or idling away life's precious hours in reverie--such creatures are seldom the models of purity one would wish to think them. if born with a natural propensity toward sin, such a life would soon engender a diseased, impure imagination, if nothing worse. dress and sensuality.--there are two ways in which fashionable dress leads to unchastity; viz., . by its extravagance; . by its abuse of the body. how does extravagance lead to unchastity? by creating the temptation to sin. it affects not those gorgeously attired ladies who ride in fine carriages, and live in brown-stone fronts, who are surrounded with all the luxuries that wealth can purchase--fine apparel is no temptation to such. but to less favored--though not less worthy--ones, these magnificent displays of millinery goods and fine trappings are most powerful temptations. the poor seamstress, who can earn by diligent toil hardly enough to pay her board bill, has no legitimate way by which to deck herself with the finery she admires. plainly dressed as she must be if she remains honest and retains her virtue, she is scornfully ignored by her proud sisters. everywhere she finds it a generally recognized fact that "dress makes the lady." on the street, no one steps aside to let her pass, no one stoops to regain for her the package that slips from her weary hands. does she enter a crowded car, no one offers her a seat, though she is trembling with fatigue, while the showily dressed woman who follows her is accommodated at once. she marks the difference; she does not pause to count the cost, but barters away her self-respect, to gain the respect, or deference, of strangers. how young women fall.--it has been authoritatively stated that there are, in our large cities, hundreds of young women who, being able to earn barely enough to buy food and fuel and pay the rent of a dismal attic, take the advice offered by their employers, "get some gentleman friend to dress you for your company." others spend all their small earnings to keep themselves "respectably" dressed, and share the board and lodgings of some young _roue_ as heartless as incontinent. persons unaccustomed to city life, and thousands of people in the very heart of our great metropolis, have no conception of the frightful prevalence of this kind of prostitution. young women go to our large cities as pure as snow. they find no lucrative employment. daily contact with vice obtunds their first abhorrence of it. gradually it becomes familiar. a fancied life of ease presents allurements to a hard-worked sewing-girl. fine clothes and comfortable lodgings increase the temptation. she yields, and barters her body for a home without the trouble of a marriage ceremony. wealthy women could do more to cure the "social evil" by adopting plain attire than all the civil authorities by passing license laws or regulating ordinances. have not christian women a duty here? a few years ago, some nashville ladies made a slight move in the right direction, as indicated in the following paragraph; but we have not heard that their example has been followed:-- "the lady members of the first baptist church, of nashville, tenn., have agreed that they will dispense with all finery on sunday, wearing no jewels but consistency, and hereafter appear at church in plain calico dresses." a more radical reform would have been an extension of the salutary measure to all other days of the week as well as sunday; though we see no reason for restricting the material of clothing to calico, which might, indeed, be rather insufficient for some seasons of the year. fashion and vice.--let us glance at the second manner in which dress lends its influence to vice, by obstructing the normal functions of the body. . fashion requires a woman to compress her waist with bands or corsets. in consequence, the circulation of the blood toward the heart is obstructed. the venous blood is crowded back into the delicate organs of generation. congestion ensues, and with it, through reflex action, the unnatural excitement of the animal propensities. . the manner of wearing the clothing, suspending several heavy garments from the hips, increases the same difficulty by bringing too large a share of clothing where it is least needed, thus generating unnatural local heat. . the custom of clothing the feet and limbs so thinly that they are exposed to constant chilling, by still further unbalancing the circulation, adds another element to increase the local mischief. all of these causes combined, operating almost constantly,--with others that might be mentioned,--produce permanent local congestions, with ovarian and uterine derangements. the latter affections have long been recognized as the chief pathological condition in hysteria, and especially in that peculiar form of disease known as _nymphomania_, under the excitement of which a young woman, naturally chaste and modest, may be impelled to the commission of the most wanton acts. the pernicious influence of fashionable dress in occasioning this disorder cannot be doubted. reform in dress needed.--the remedy for these evils, the only way to escape them, is reformation. the dress must be so adjusted to the body that every organ will be allowed free movement. no corset, band, belt, or other means of constriction, should impede the circulation. garments should be suspended from the shoulders by means of a waist, or proper suspenders. the limbs should be as warmly clad as any other portion of the body. how best to secure these requirements of health may be learned from several excellent works on dress reform, any of which can be readily obtained of the publishers of this work or their agents. fashionable dissipation.--the influence of so important an agent for evil in this direction as fashionable dissipation, cannot be ignored. by fashionable dissipation we mean that class of excesses in the indulgence in which certain classes, usually the more wealthy or aristocratic, pride themselves. among this class of persons a man who is known to be a common drunkard would not be recognized; such a person would be carefully shunned; yet a total abstainer would be avoided with almost equal care, and would be regarded as a fanatic or an extremist at least. with persons of this class, wine-drinking is considered necessary as a matter of propriety. along with wine are taken the great variety of highly seasoned foods, spices, and condiments in profusion, with rich meats and all sorts of delicacies, rich desserts, etc., which can hardly be considered much less harmful than stimulants of a more generally recognized character. these indulgences excite that part of the system which generally needs restraint rather than stimulation. a participant, an ex-governor, recently described to us a grand political dinner given in honor of a noted american citizen, which began at p.m., and continued until nearly midnight, continuous courses of foods, wines, etc., being served for nearly six hours. similar scenes have been enacted in a score of our large cities for the same ostensible purpose. knowing that public men are addicted to such gormandizing on numerous occasions, we do not wonder that so many of them are men of loose morals. the tendency of luxury is toward demoralization. rome never became dissipated and corrupt until her citizens became wealthy, and adopted luxurious modes of living. nothing is much more conducive to sound morals than full occupation of the mind with useful labor. fashionable idleness is a foe to virtue. the young man or the young woman who wastes the precious hours of life in listless dreaming, or in that sort of senseless twaddle which forms the bulk of the conversation in some circles, is in very great danger of demoralization. many of the usages and customs of fashionable society seem to open the door to vice, and to insidiously, and at first unconsciously, lead the young and inexperienced away from the paths of purity and virtue. there is good evidence that the amount of immorality among what are known as the higher classes is every year increasing. every now and then a scandal in high life comes to the surface; but the great mass of corruption is effectually hidden from the general public. open profligacy is of course frowned upon in all respectable circles; and yet wealth and accomplishments will cover a multitude of sins. this freedom allowed to the vile and vicious is one of the worst features of fashionable society. such persons carry about them a moral atmosphere more deadly than the dreaded upas-tree. round dances.--whatever apologies may be offered for other forms of the dance as means of exercise under certain restrictions, employed as a form of calisthenics, no such excuse can be framed in defense of "round dances," especially of the waltz. in addition to the associated dissipation, late hours, fashionable dressing, midnight feasting, exposures through excessive exertions and improper dress, etc., it can be shown most clearly that dancing has a direct influence in stimulating the passions and provoking unchaste desires, which too often lead to unchaste acts, and are in themselves violations of the requirements of strict morality, and productive of injury to both mind and body. said the renowned petrarch, "the dance is the spur of lust--a circle of which the devil himself is the center. many women that use it have come dishonest home, most indifferent, none better." we cannot do better than to quote on this subject from a little work entitled, "the dance of death," the author of which has given a great amount of attention to this subject, and presents its evils in a very forcible light, as follows:-- "a score of forms whirl swiftly before us under the softened gaslight. i say a score of _forms_--but each is double--they would have made two score before the dancing began. twenty floating visions--each male and female. twenty women, knit and growing to as many men, undulate, sway, and swirl giddily before us, keeping time with the delirious melody of piano, harp, and violin. "but draw nearer--let us see how this miracle is accomplished. do you mark yonder couple who seem to excel the rest in grace and ardor. let us take this couple for a sample. he is stalwart, agile, mighty; she is tall, supple, lithe, and how beautiful in form and feature! her head rests upon his shoulder, her face is upturned to his; her naked arm is almost around his neck; her swelling breast heaves tumultuously against his; face to face they whirl, his limbs interwoven with her limbs; with strong right arm about her yielding waist, he presses her to him till every curve in the contour of her lovely body thrills with the amorous contact. her eyes look into his, but she sees nothing; the soft music fills the room, but she hears nothing; swiftly he whirls her from the floor or bends her frail body to and fro in his embrace. "with a last, low wail the music ceases. her swooning senses come back to life. ah, must it be! yes; her companion releases her from his embrace. leaning wearily upon his arm, the rapture faded from her eye, the flush dying from her cheek--enervated, limp, listless, worn out--she is led to a seat, there to recover from her delirium and gather her energies as best she may in the space of five minutes, after which she must yield her body to a new embrace." "and now tell me, friend of mine, did you not recognize an old acquaintance in the lady we have been watching so closely? no! then believe me; she is no other than the 'pure and lovely girl' you so much admired earlier in the evening, the so desirable wife, the angel who was to 'haunt your dreams.'" the author just quoted publishes in his little work a letter from a woman of great ability and strength of mind, of unblemished character and national reputation, written in response to his request for her opinion of the dance. the statements made in this remarkable letter are so clear and convincing that every parent ought to read it. we quote the chief portions as follows:-- "'i will venture to lay bare a young girl's heart and mind by giving you my own experience in the days when i waltzed. "'in those times i cared little for polka or varsovienne, and still less for the old-fashioned "money musk" or "virginia reel," and wondered what people could find to admire in those "slow dances." but in the soft floating of the waltz i found a strange pleasure, rather difficult to intelligibly describe. the mere anticipation fluttered my pulse, and when my partner approached to claim my promised hand for the dance, i felt my cheeks glow a little sometimes, and i could not look him in the eyes with the same frank gayety as heretofore. "'but the climax of my confusion was reached when, folded in his warm embrace, and giddy with the whirl, a strange, sweet thrill would shake me from head to foot, leaving me weak and almost powerless, and really almost obliged to depend for support upon the arm which encircled me. if my partner failed from ignorance, lack of skill, or innocence, to arouse these, to me, most pleasurable sensations, i did not dance with him the second time. "'i am speaking openly and frankly, and when i say that i did not understand what i felt, or what were the real and greatest pleasures i derived from this so-called dancing, i expect to be believed. but if my cheeks grew red with uncomprehended pleasure then, they grow pale with shame to-day when i think of it all. it was the physical emotions engendered by the contact of strong men that i was enamored of--not of the dance, nor even of the men themselves. "'thus i became abnormally developed in my lowest nature. i grew bolder, and from being able to return shy glances at first, was soon able to meet more daring ones, until the waltz became to me and whomsoever danced with me, one lingering, sweet, and purely sensual pleasure, where heart beat against heart, hand was held in hand, and eyes looked burning words which lips dared not speak. "'all this while no one said to me, you do wrong; so i dreamed of sweet words whispered during the dance, and often felt while alone a thrill of joy indescribable yet overpowering when my mind would turn from my studies to remember a piece of temerity of unusual grandeur on the part of one or another of my cavaliers. "'girls talk to each other. i was still a school girl, although mixing so much with the world. we talked together. we read romances that fed our romantic passions on seasoned food, and none but ourselves knew what subjects we discussed. had our parents heard us, they would have considered us on the high road to ruin. "'yet we had been taught that it was right to dance; our parents did it, our friends did, and we were permitted. i will say also that all the girls with whom i associated, with the exception of one, had much the same experience in dancing; felt the same strangely sweet emotions, and felt that almost imperative necessity for a closer communion than that which even the freedom of a waltz permits, without knowing exactly why, or even comprehending what. "'married now, with home and children around me, i can at least thank god for the experience which will assuredly be the means of preventing my little daughters from indulging in any such dangerous pleasure. but, if a young girl, pure and innocent in the beginning, can be brought to feel what i have confessed to have felt, what must be the experience of a married woman? _she_ knows what every glance of the eye, every bend of the head, every close clasp means, and knowing that, reciprocates it, and is led by swifter steps and a surer path down the dangerous, dishonorable road. "'i doubt if my experience will be of much service, but it is the candid truth, from a woman who, in the cause of all the young girls who may be contaminated, desires to show just to what extent a young mind may be defiled by the injurious effects of round dances. i have not hesitated to lay bare what are a young girl's most secret thoughts, in the hope that people will stop and consider, at least, before handing their lilies of purity over to the arms of any one who may choose to blow the frosty breath of dishonor on their petals.'" much more might be added on this important subject, would the limits of this work allow; but this must suffice. we beg the reader to consider carefully and prayerfully the facts presented before deciding that dancing is so harmless as many persons suppose. physical causes of unchastity.--some of the physical causes of impurity in women have been previously referred to, since it is through physical injuries that unhealthful clothing exerts its influence. too little is generally known of the intimate connection between physical and mental conditions. doubtless, many vices originate in physical imperfections. indeed, when the full bearing of physical influences upon the mind is allowed, it is difficult to avoid pleading extenuating circumstances in the cases of the greatest share of transgressors of both moral and civil laws. this principle is especially applicable to sexual relations. in males, one of the most general physical causes of sexual excitement is _constipation_. the vesicula seminalis, in which the seminal fluid is stored, is situated, as will be remembered, at the base of the bladder. it thus has the bladder in front, and the rectum behind. in constipation, the rectum becomes distended with feces, effete matter which should have been promptly evacuated instead of being allowed to accumulate. this hardened mass presses upon the parts most intimately concerned in the sexual act, causing excessive local excitement. when this condition is chronic, as in habitual constipation, the unnatural excitement often leads to most serious results. one of these is the production of a horrible disease, _satyriasis_, the nature of which has been previously indicated. _constipation_ in females has the same tendency, though the dangers are not quite so great. the irritation is sufficient, however, to lead to excitement of the passions. _intestinal worms_ often produce the same result in children. _local uncleanliness_ is another very frequent cause which is often overlooked. the natural local secretions quickly become a source of great irritation if not removed by daily washing. certain anatomical peculiarities sometimes exist in the male which greatly aggravate this difficulty, and for which circumcision, or an equivalent operation, is the remedy. _irritation of the bladder_, producing incontinence of urine, is another enemy to chastity. it should receive prompt attention and treatment. in children, this irritability is indicated by wetting of the bed at night. in cases of this kind, allow the child little drink in the latter portion of the day. see that the bladder is emptied just before he goes to bed. wake him once or twice during the night, and have him urinate. use all possible means to remove the cause of irritation by giving him plenty of out-of-door exercise and a very simple, though nutritious, diet. avoid meat, eggs, and condiments. modern modes of life.--aside from all of the causes already enumerated, there are many other conditions and circumstances, the result of modern habits of living, that tend directly toward the excitement of sensuality. superheated rooms, sedentary employments, the development of the mental and nervous organizations at the expense of the muscular, the cramming system in schools, too long confinement of school-children in a sitting position, the allowance of too great freedom between the sexes in the young, the demoralizing influence of most varieties of public amusement, balls, church fairs, and other like influences too numerous to mention, all tend in the one direction, that of abnormal excitation and precocious development of the sexual functions. it is not an exaggeration to say that for one conforming to modern modes of living, eating, sleeping, and drinking, absolute chastity is next to an absolute impossibility. this would certainly be true without a special interposition of providence; but providence never works miracles to obviate the results of voluntary sin. continence. continence differs from chastity in being entire restraint from sexual indulgence under all circumstances, while chastity is only restraint from unlawful indulgence. as we have both physical and mental chastity, so continence should be both mental and physical. many of the observations on the subject of "chastity" apply with equal force to continence. the causes of incontinence are the same as those of unchastity. the same relation also exists between mental and physical continence as between mental and physical chastity. the subject of continence evidently has a somewhat wider scope than that of chastity, as generally understood; but as we have considered the latter subject so fully, we shall devote less space to this, leaving the reader to make the application of such preceding remarks as reason may suggest to him are equally appropriate here. without stopping to consider the various circumstances under which absolute continence is expedient, or desirable, or morally required, we will proceed at once to examine the question, is continence harmful? continence not injurious.--it has been claimed by many, even by physicians,--and with considerable show of reason,--that absolute continence, after full development of the organs of reproduction, could not be maintained without great detriment to health. it is needless to enumerate all the different arguments employed to support this position, since they are, with a few exceptions, too frivolous to deserve attention. we shall content ourselves chiefly with quotations from acknowledged authorities, by which we shall show that the popular notions upon this subject are wholly erroneous. their general acceptance has been due, without doubt, to the strong natural bias in their favor. it is an easy matter to believe what agrees well with one's predilections. a bare surmise, on the side of prejudice, is more telling than the most powerful logic on the other side. "we know that this opinion is held by men of the world, and that many physicians share it. this belief appears to us to be erroneous, without foundation, and easily refuted."[ ] [footnote : mayer.] the same writer claims "that no peculiar disease nor any abridgment of the duration of life can be ascribed to such continence." he proves his position by appealing to statistics, and shows the fallacy of arguments in support of the contrary view. he further says:-- "it is determined, in our opinion, that the commerce of the sexes has no necessities that cannot be restrained without peril." "a part has been assigned to _spermatic plethora_ in the etiology of various mental affections. among others, priapism has been attributed to it. in our opinion, this malady originates in a disturbance of the cerebral nerve power; but it is due much less to the retention of sperm than to its exaggerated loss; much less to virtuous abstinence than to moral depravity." there has evidently been a wide-spread deception upon this subject. "health does not absolutely require that there should ever be an emission of semen, from puberty to death, though the individual live a hundred years; and the frequency of involuntary nocturnal emissions is an indubitable proof that the parts, at least, are suffering under a debility and morbid irritability utterly incompatible with the general welfare of the system." does not produce impotence.--it has been declared that strict continence would result in impotency. the falsity of this argument is clearly shown by the following observations:-- "there exists no _greater error_ than this, nor one more opposed to physiological truth. in the first place, i may state that i have, after many years' experience, never seen a single instance of atrophy of the generative organs from this cause. i have, it is true, met the complaint, but in what class of cases does it occur? it arises, in all instances, from the exactly opposite cause, abuse; the organs become worn out, and hence arises atrophy. physiologically considered, it is not a fact that the power of secreting semen is annihilated in well-formed adults leading a healthy life and yet remaining continent. no continent man need be deterred by this apocryphal fear of atrophy of the testes, from living a chaste life. it is a device of the unchaste--a lame excuse for their own incontinence, unfounded on any physiological law."[ ] [footnote : acton.] the truth of this statement has been amply confirmed by experiments upon animals. the complaint is made by those whose lives have been far otherwise than continent, that abstinence occasions suffering, from which indulgence gives relief. the same writer further says that when such a patient consults a medical man, "he should be told--and the result would soon prove the correctness of the advice--that attention to diet, gymnastic exercise, and self-control, will, most effectually relieve the symptoms." difficulty of continence.--some there are who urge that self-denial is difficult; that the natural promptings are imperious. from this they argue that it cannot but be right to gratify so strong a passion. "the admitted fact that continence, even at the very beginning of manhood, is frequently productive of distress, is often a struggle hard to be borne--still harder to be completely victorious in--is not to be at all regarded as an argument that it is an _evil_."[ ] [footnote : ibid.] but if rigid continence is maintained from the first, the struggle with the passions will not be nearly so severe as after they have once been allowed to gain the ascendency. on this point, the following remarks are very just:-- "at the outset, the sexual necessities are not so uncontrollable as is generally supposed, and they can be put down by the exercise of a little energetic will. there is, therefore, as it appears to us, as much injustice in accusing nature of disorders which are dependent upon the genital senses, badly directed, as there would be in attributing to it a sprain or a fracture accidentally produced."[ ] [footnote : mayer.] helps to continence.--as already indicated, and as every individual with strong passions knows, the warfare with passion is a serious one if one determines to lead a continent life. he needs the help of every aid that he can gain. some of these may be named as follows:-- _the will_.--a firm determination must be formed to lead a life of purity; to quickly quench the first suggestions of impurity; to harbor no unchaste desire; to purge the mind of carnal thoughts; in short, to cleave fast to mental continence. each triumph over vicious thoughts will strengthen virtue; each victory won will make the next the easier. so strong a habit of continence may be formed that this alone will be a bulwark against vice. _diet_.--he who would keep in subjection his animal nature must carefully guard the portal to his stomach. the blood is made of what is eaten. irritating food will produce irritating blood. stimulating foods or drinks will surely produce a corresponding quality of blood. irritating, stimulating blood will irritate and stimulate the nervous system, and especially the delicate nerves of the reproductive system, as previously explained. only the most simple and wholesome food should be eaten, and that only in such moderate quantities as are required to replenish the tissues. the custom of making the food pungent and stimulating with condiments is the great, almost the sole, cause of gluttony. it is one of the greatest hindrances to virtue. indeed, it may with truth be said that the devices of modern cookery are most powerful allies of unchastity and licentiousness. this subject is particularly deserving of careful, candid, and studious attention, and only needs such investigation to demonstrate its soundness. _exercise_.--next to diet as an aid to continence, perhaps of equal importance with it, is exercise, both physical and mental. it is a trite proverb, the truth of which every one acknowledges, that "satan finds some mischief still for idle hands to do," and it is equally true that he always has an evil thought in readiness--speaking figuratively--to instill into an unoccupied mind. a person who desires to be pure and continent in body and mind must flee idleness as he would the devil himself; for the latter is always ready to improve upon the advantages afforded by an idle moment, an hour given to reverie. we have the strongest testimony from the most eminent physicians in regard to the efficacy of exercise in overcoming abnormal sexual desires. mr. acton relates the following statement made to him by a gentleman who has become distinguished in his profession:-- "'you may be surprised, mr. acton,' said he, 'by the statement i am about to make to you, that before my marriage i lived a perfectly continent life. during my university career, my passions were very strong, sometimes almost uncontrollable, but i have the satisfaction to think that i mastered them; it was, however, by great efforts. i obliged myself to take violent physical exertion; i was the best oar of my year, and when i felt particularly strong sexual desire, i sallied out to take my exercise. i was victorious always, and i never committed fornication. you see in what vigorous health i am; it was exercise alone that saved me.'" says carpenter, on the same subject, in a textbook for medical students, "'try the effect of close mental application to some of those ennobling pursuits to which your profession introduces you, in combination with vigorous bodily exercise, before you assert that the appetite is unrestrainable, and act upon that assertion.'" walking, riding, rowing, and gymnastics are among the best modes of physical exercise for sedentary persons; but there is no better form of exercise than working in the garden. the cultivation of small fruits, flowers, and other occupations of like character, really excel all other modes of physical exercise for one who can engage in them with real pleasure. even though distasteful at first, they may become very attractive and interesting if there is an honest, persevering desire to make them so. the advantages of exercises of this kind are evident. . they are useful as well as healthful. while they call into action a very large number of muscles by the varied movements required, the expenditure of vital force is remunerated by the actual value of the products of the labor; so that no force is wasted. . the tillage of the soil and the dressing of vines and plants bring one in constant contact with nature in a manner that is elevating and refining, or at least affords the most favorable opportunities for the cultivation of nobility and purity of mind, and elevated principles. exercise carried to such excess as to produce exhaustion is always injurious. the same is true of mental labor as of physical exercise. plenty of sleep, and regular habits of retiring and rising, are important. dozing is bad at any time; for it is a condition in which the will is nearly dormant, though consciousness still lingers, and the imagination is allowed to run wild, and often enough it will run where it ought not. late study, or late hours spent in any manner, is a sure means of producing general nervous irritability and sexual excitement through reflex influence. _bathing_.--a daily bath with cool or tepid water, followed by vigorous rubbing of the skin with a coarse towel and then with the dry hand, is a most valuable aid. the hour of first rising is generally the most convenient time. how to take different kinds of baths is explained in other works devoted to the subject.[ ] general and local cleanliness are indispensable to general and local health. [footnote : see "uses of water" and "the household manual."] _religion_.--after availing himself of all other aids to continence, if he wishes to maintain purity of mind as well as physical chastity--and one cannot exist long without the other--the individual must seek that most powerful and helpful of all aids, divine grace. if, in the conflict with his animal nature, man had only to contend with the degrading influences of his own propensities, the battle would be a serious one, and it is doubtful whether human nature alone--at least in any but rare cases,--would be able to gain the victory; but, in addition to his own inherent tendencies to evil, man is assailed at every point by unseen agencies that seek to drag him down and spoil his soul with lust. these fiendish influences are only felt, not seen, from which some argue that they do not exist. such casuists must find enormous depths for human depravity. but who has not felt the cruel power of these unseen foes? against them, there is but one safe, successful weapon, "the blood of christ which cleanseth from all sin." the struggling soul, beset with evil thoughts, will find in prayer a salvation which all his force of will, and dieting, and exercising, will not, alone, insure him. yet prayer alone will not avail. faith and works must always be associated. all that one can do to work out his own salvation, he must do; then he can safely trust in god to do the rest, even though the struggle seems almost a useless one; for when the soul has been long in bondage to concupiscence, the mind a hold of foul and lustful thoughts, a panorama of unchaste imagery, these hateful phantoms will even intrude themselves upon the sanctity of prayer and make their victim mentally unchaste upon his knees. but christ can pity even such; and even these degraded minds may yet be pure if with the psalmist they continue to cry, with a true purpose and unwavering trust, "create in me a clean heart, o god, and renew a right spirit within me." "purge me with hyssop, and i shall be clean; wash me, and i shall be whiter than snow." at the first suggestion of an evil thought, send up a mental prayer to him whose ear is always open. prayer and impurity are as incompatible as oil and water. the pure thoughts that sincere prayer will bring, displace the evil promptings of excited passion. but the desire for aid must be sincere. prayer will be of no avail while the mind is half consenting to the evil thought. the evil must be loathed, spurned, detested. it would seem almost unnecessary to suggest the impropriety of resorting to prayer alone when sexual excitability has arisen from a culpable neglect to remove the physical conditions of local excitement by the means already mentioned. such physical causes must be well looked after, or every attempt to reform will be fruitless. god requires of every individual to do for himself all that he is capable of doing; to employ every available means for alleviating his sufferings. marital excesses. it seems to be a generally prevalent opinion that the marriage ceremony removes all restraint from the exercise of the sexual functions. few seem to even suspect that the seventh commandment has any bearing upon sexual conduct within the pale of matrimony. yet if we may believe the confessions and statements of men and women, legalized prostitution is a more common crime than illicit commerce of the sexes. so common is the popular error upon this subject, and so strongly fortified by prejudice is it, that it is absolutely dangerous for a writer or speaker to express the truth, if he knows it and has a disposition to do so. any attempt to call attention to true principles is mocked at, decried, stigmatized, and, if possible, extinguished. the author is vilified, and his work is denounced, and relegated to the ragman. extremist, fanatic, ascetic, are the mildest terms employed concerning him, and he escapes with rare good fortune if his chastity or virility is not assailed. we are not going to run any such risks, and so shall not attempt to enunciate or maintain any theory. we shall content ourselves with plainly stating established physiological facts by quotations from standard medical authors, leaving each reader to draw conclusions and construct a practical formula for himself. object of the reproductive functions.--man, in whatever condition we find him, is more or less depraved. this is true as well of the most cultivated and refined ladies and gentlemen of the great centers of civilization, as of the misshapen denizens of african jungles, or the scarcely human natives of australia and terra del fuego. his appetites, his tastes, his habits, even his bodily functions are perverted. of course, there are degrees of depravity, and varieties of perversion. in some respects, savages approach more nearly to the natural state than civilized man, and in other particulars, the latter more nearly represents man's natural condition; but in neither barbarism nor civilization do we find man in his primitive state. in consequence of this universal departure from his original normal condition,--the causes of which we need not here trace, since they are immaterial in the consideration of this question,--when we wish to ascertain with certainty the functions of certain organs of the human body, we are obliged to compare them with the corresponding organs of lower animals, and study the functions of the latter. it is by this method of investigation that most of the important truths of physiology have been developed; and the plan is universally acknowledged to be a proper and logical one. then if we wish to ascertain, with certainty, the true function of the reproductive organs in man, we must pursue the course above indicated; in other words, study the function of reproduction in lower animals. we say _lower animals_, because man is really an animal, a member of the great animal kingdom, though not a beast--at least he should not be a beast, though some animals in human form approach very closely to the line that separates humanity from brutes. we are brought, then, for a solution of this problem, to a consideration of the question, what is the object of the reproductive act in those members of the animal kingdom just below man in the scale of being? let science tell us, for zoologists have made a careful study of this subject for centuries. we quote the following paragraphs from one of the most distinguished and reliable of modern physiologists;[ ] the facts which he states being confirmed by all other physiologists:-- "every living being has a definite term of life, through which it passes by the operation of an invariable law, and which, at some regularly appointed time, comes to an end.... but while individual organisms are thus constantly perishing and disappearing from the stage, the particular kind, or species, remains in existence.... this process, by which new organisms make their appearance, to take the place of those which are destroyed, is known as the process of _reproduction_ or _generation_. "the ovaries, as well as the eggs which they contain, undergo, at particular seasons, a periodical development, or increase in growth.... at the approach of the generative season, in all the lower animals, a certain number of the eggs, which were previously in an imperfect and inactive condition, begin to increase in size and become somewhat altered in structure." "in most fish and reptiles as well as in birds, this regular process of maturation and discharge of eggs takes place but once in a year. in different species of quadrupeds it may take place annually, semi-annually, bi-monthly, or even monthly; but in every instance it recurs at regular intervals, and exhibits accordingly, in a marked degree, the periodic character which we have seen to belong to most of the other vital phenomena." "in most of the lower orders of animals there is a periodical development of the testicles in the male, corresponding in time with that of the ovaries in the female. as the ovaries enlarge and the eggs ripen in the one sex, so in the other the testicles increase in size, as the season of reproduction approaches, and become turgid with spermatozoa. the accessory organs of generation, at the same time, share the unusual activity of the testicles, and become increased in vascularity and ready to perform their part in the reproductive function." "each of the two sexes is then at the same time under the influence of a corresponding excitement. the unusual development of the genital organs reacts upon the entire system, and produces a state of peculiar activity and excitability, known as the condition of 'erethism.'" "it is a remarkable fact, in this connection, that the female of these animals will allow the approaches of the male only during and immediately after the oestral period; that is, just when the egg is recently discharged, and ready for impregnation. at other times, when sexual intercourse would be necessarily fruitless, the instinct of the animal leads her to avoid it; and the concourse of the sexes is accordingly made to correspond in time with the maturity of the egg and its aptitude for fecundation." "the egg, immediately upon its discharge from the ovary, is ready for impregnation. if sexual intercourse happens to take place about that time, the egg and the spermatic fluid meet in some part of the female generative passages, and fecundation is accomplished.... if, on the other hand, coitus do not take place, the egg passes down to the uterus unimpregnated, loses its vitality after a short time, and is finally carried away with the uterine secretions." "it is easily understood, therefore, why sexual intercourse should be more liable to be followed by pregnancy when it occurs about the menstrual epoch than at other times.... before its discharge, the egg is immature, and unprepared for impregnation; and after the menstrual period has passed, it gradually loses its freshness and vitality." [footnote : dalton.] the law of periodicity, as it affects the sexual activity of males of the human species, is indicated in the following remarks by the same author:-- "the same correspondence between the periods of sexual excitement in the male and female, is visible in many of the animals [higher mammals], as well as in fish and reptiles. this is the case in most species which produce young but once a year, and at a fixed period, as the deer and the wild hog. in other species, on the contrary, such as the dog, the rabbit, the guinea-pig, etc., where several broods of young are produced during the year, or where, as in the human subject, the generative epochs of the female recur at short intervals, so that the particular period of impregnation is comparatively indefinite, the generative apparatus of the male is almost always in a state of full development; and is excited to action at particular periods, apparently by some influence derived from the condition of the female." the facts presented in the foregoing quotations from dr. dalton may be summarized as follows:-- . the sexual function is for the purpose of producing new individuals to take the place of those who die, and thus preserve the species from becoming extinct. . in the animal kingdom generally, the reproductive function is _necessarily_ a periodical act, dependent upon the development of the reproductive organs of both the male and the female at stated periods. . in those exceptional cases in which the organs of the male are in a state of constant development, sexual congress occurs, in lower animals, only at those periods when the periodical development occurs in the female. . fecundation of the female element can only take place about the time of periodical development in the female. . the desire for sexual congress naturally exists in the female only at or immediately after the time of periodical development. . the constant development of the sexual organs in human males is a condition common to all animals in which development occurs in the female at short intervals, and is a provision of nature to secure a fruitful union when the female is in readiness, but not an indication for constant or frequent use. . the time of sexual congress is always determined by the condition and desires of the female. an additional fact, as stated by physiologists, is that, under normal conditions, the human female experiences sexual desire immediately after menstruation more than at any other time. it has, indeed, been claimed that at this period only does she experience the true sexual instinct unless it is abnormally excited by disease or otherwise. from these facts the following conclusions must evidently be drawn:-- . the fact that in all animals but the human species the act can be performed only when reproduction is possible, proves that in the animal kingdom in general the sole object of the function is reproduction. whether man is an exception, must be determined from other considerations. . the fact that the males of other animals besides man in which the sexual organs are in a state of constant development do not exercise those organs except for the purpose of reproduction, is proof of the position that the constant development in man is not a warrant for their constant use. . the general law that the reproductive act is performed only when desired by the female, is sufficient ground for supposing that such should be the case with the human species also. the opinions of writers of note are given in the following quotations:-- "the approach of the sexes is, in its purest condition, the result of a natural instinct, the end of which is the reproduction of the species. still, however, we are far from saying that this ultimate result is, in any proportion of cases, the actual thought in the minds of the parties engaged." "the very lively solicitations which spring from the genital sense, have no other end than to insure the perpetuity of the race."[ ] [footnote : dr. gardner.] "observation fully confirms the views of inductive philosophy; for it proves to us that coitus, exercised otherwise than under the inspirations of honest instinct, is a cause of disease in both sexes, and of danger to the social order."[ ] [footnote : mayer.] "it is incredible that the act of bringing men into life, that act of humanity, without contradiction of the most importance, should be the one of which there should have been the least supposed necessity for regulation, or which has been regulated the least beneficially."[ ] [footnote : dunoyer.] "but it may be said that the demands of nature are, in the married state, not only legal, but should be physically right. so they are, when our physical life is right; but it must not be forgotten that few live in a truly physical rectitude."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] "among cattle, the sexes meet by common instinct and common will; it is reserved for the human animal to treat the female as a mere victim to his lust."[ ] [footnote : quarterly review.] "he is an ill husband that _uses his wife as a man treats a harlot_, having no other end but pleasure. concerning which our best rule is, that although in this, as in eating and drinking, there is an appetite to be satisfied, which cannot be done without pleasing that desire, yet since that desire and satisfaction were intended by nature for other ends, they should never be separated from those ends." "it is a sad truth that many married persons, thinking that the flood-gates of liberty are set wide open, without measures or restraints (so they sail in the channel), have felt the final rewards of intemperance and lust by their unlawful using of lawful permissions. only let each of them be temperate, and both of them modest."[ ] [footnote : jeremy taylor.] says another writer very emphatically, "it is a common belief that a man and woman, because they are legally united in marriage, are privileged to the unbridled exercises of amativeness. this is wrong. nature, in the exercise of her laws, recognizes no human enactments, and is as prompt to punish any infringement of her laws in those who are legally married, as in those out of the bonds. excessive indulgence between the married produces as great and lasting evil effects as in the single man or woman, and is nothing more or less than legalized prostitution." results of excesses.--the sad results of excessive indulgences are seen on every hand. numerous ailments attributed to overwork, constitutional disease, or hereditary predisposition, know no other cause and need no other explanation. _effects upon husbands_.--no doubt the principal blame in this matter properly falls upon the husband; but it cannot be said that he is the greatest sufferer; however, his punishment is severe enough to clearly indicate the enormity of the transgression, and to warn him to a reformation of his habits. the following is a quotation from an eminent medical authority:-- "but any warning against sexual dangers would be very incomplete if it did not extend to the excesses so often committed by married persons in ignorance of their ill effects. too frequent emissions of the life-giving fluid, and too frequent excitement of the nervous system are, as we have seen, in themselves most destructive. the result is the same within the marriage bond as without it. the married man who thinks that because he is a married man he can commit no excess, however often the act of sexual congress is repeated, will suffer as certainly and as seriously as the unmarried debauchee who acts on the same principle in his indulgences--perhaps more certainly from his very ignorance, and from his not taking those precautions and following those rules which a career of vice is apt to teach the sensualist. many a man has, until his marriage, lived a most continent life; so has his wife. as soon as they are wedded, intercourse is indulged in night after night, neither party having any idea that these repeated sexual acts are excesses which the system of neither can bear, and which to the man, at least, are absolute ruin. the practice is continued till health is impaired, sometimes permanently, and when a patient is at last obliged to seek medical advice, he is thunderstruck at learning that his sufferings arise from excesses unwittingly committed. married people often appear to think that connection may be repeated as regularly and almost as often as their meals. till they are told of the danger, the idea never enters their heads that they are guilty of great and almost criminal excess; nor is this to be wondered at, since the possibility of such a cause of disease is seldom hinted at by the medical man they consult." "some go so far as to believe that indulgence may increase these powers, just as gymnastic exercises augment the force of the muscles. this is a popular error; and requires correction. such patients should be told that the shock on the system each time connection is indulged in, is very powerful, and that the expenditure of seminal fluid must be particularly injurious to organs previously debilitated. it is by this and similar excesses that premature old age and complaints of the generative organs are brought on." "the length to which married people carry excesses is perfectly astonishing." "since my attention has been particularly called to this class of ailments, i feel confident that many of the forms of indigestion, general ill health, hypochondriasis, etc., so often met with in adults, depend upon sexual excesses.... that this cause of illness is not more generally acknowledged and acted on, arises from the natural delicacy which medical men must feel in putting such questions to their patients as are necessary to elicit the facts." "it is not the body alone which suffers from excesses committed in married life. experience every day convinces me that much of the languor of mind, confusion of ideas, and inability to control the thoughts, of which some married men complain, arise from this cause."[ ] [footnote : acton.] the debilitating effects of excessive sexual indulgence arise from two causes; viz., the loss of the seminal fluid, and the nervous excitement. with reference to the value of the spermatic fluid, dr. gardner remarks:-- "the sperm is the purest extract of the blood.... nature, in creating it, has intended it not only to communicate life, but also to nourish the individual life. in fact, the re-absorption of the fecundating liquid impresses upon the entire economy new energy, and a virility which contributes to the prolongation of life." testimony of a french physician.--a french author of considerable note,[ ] remarks on the same subject:-- "nothing costs the economy so much as the production of semen and its forced ejaculation. it has been calculated that an ounce of semen was equivalent to forty ounces of blood.... semen is the essence of the whole individual. hence, fernel has said, 'totus homo semen est.' it is the balm of life.... that which gives life is intended for its preservation." [footnote : parise.] it may be questioned, perhaps, whether physiology will sustain to the fullest extent all the statements made in the last quotation; but perhaps physiology does not appreciate so fully as does pathology the worth of the most vital of all fluids, and the fearful results which follow its useless expenditure. continence of trainers.--"the moderns who are training are well aware that sexual indulgence wholly unfits them for great feats of strength, and the captain of a boat strictly forbids his crew anything of the sort just previous to a match. some trainers have gone so far as to assure me that they can discover by a man's style of pulling whether he has committed such a breach of discipline over night, and have not scrupled to attribute the occasional loss of matches to this cause."[ ] [footnote : acton.] a cause of throat disease.--the disease known as "_clergyman's sore throat_" is believed by many eminent physicians to have its chief origin in excessive venery. it is well known that sexual abuse is a very potent cause of throat diseases. this view is supported by the following from the pen of the learned dr. x. bourgeois:-- "we ought not, then, to be surprised that the physiological act, requiring so great an expenditure of vitality, must be injurious in the highest degree, when it is reiterated abusively. to engender is to give a portion of one's life. does not he who is prodigal of himself precipitate his own ruin? a peculiar character of the diseases which have their origin in venereal excesses and masturbation is chronicity." "individual predispositions, acquired or hereditary, engender for each a series of peculiar ills. in some, the debility bears upon the pulmonary organs. hence results the dry cough, prolonged hoarseness, stitch in the side, spitting of blood, and finally phthisis. how many examples are there of young debauchees who have been devoured by this cruel disease!... it is, of all the grave maladies, the one which venereal abuses provoke the most frequently. portal, bayle, louis, say this distinctly." a cause of consumption.--this fatal disease finds a large share of its victims among those addicted to sexual excesses, either of an illicit nature or within the marriage pale, for the physical effects are essentially identical. this cause is especially active and fatal with sedentary persons, but is sufficiently powerful to undermine the constitution under the most favorable circumstances, as the following case illustrates:-- the patient was a young man of twenty-two, large, muscular, and well developed, having uncommonly broad shoulders and a full chest. his occupation had been healthful, that of a laborer. had had cough for several months, and was spitting blood. examination of lungs showed that they were hopelessly diseased. there was no trace of consumption in the family, and the only cause to which the disease could be attributed was excessive sexual indulgence, which he confessed to have practiced for several years. effects on wives.--if husbands are great sufferers, as we have seen, wives suffer still more terribly, being of feebler constitution, and hence less able to bear the frequent shock which is suffered by the nervous system. dr. gardner places this evil prominent among the causes "the result of which we see deplored in the public press of the day, which warns us that the american race is fast dying out, and that its place is being filled by emigrants of different lineage, religion, political ideas, and education." the same author remarks further on the results of this with other causes which largely grow out of it:-- "it has been a matter of common observation that the physical status of the women of christendom has been gradually deteriorating; that their mental energies were uncertain and spasmodic; that they were prematurely care-worn, wrinkled, and enervated; that they became subject to a host of diseases scarcely ever known to the professional men of past times, but now familiar to, and the common talk of, the matrons, and often, indeed, of the youngest females in the community." so prevalent are these maladies that michelet says with truth that the present is the "age of womb diseases." every physician of observation and experience has met many cases illustrative of the serious effects of the evil named. some years ago, when acting as assistant physician in a large dispensary in an eastern city, a young woman applied for examination and treatment. she presented a great variety of nervous symptoms, prominent among which were those of mild hysteria and nervous exhaustion, together with impaired digestion and violent palpitation of the heart. in our inquiries respecting the cause of these difficulties, we learned that she had been married but about six months. a little careful questioning elicited the fact that sexual indulgence was invariably practiced every night, and often two or three times, occasionally as many as four times a night. we had the key to her troubles at once, and ordered entire continence for a month. from her subsequent reports i learned that her husband would not allow her to comply with the request, but that indulgence was much less frequent than before. the result was not all that could be desired, but there was marked improvement. if the husband had been willing to "do right," entire recovery would have taken place with rapidity. another case came under our observation in which the patient, a man, confessed to having indulged every night for twenty years. we did not wonder that at forty he was a complete physical wreck. the greatest cause of uterine disease.--dr. j. r. black remarks as follows on this subject:-- "medical writers agree that one of the most common causes of the many forms of derangement to which woman is subject consists in excessive cohabitation. the diseases known as menorrhagia, dysmenorrhoea, leucorrhoea, amenorrhoea, abortions, prolapsus, chronic inflammations and ulcerations of the womb, with a yet greater variety of sympathetic nervous disorders, are some of the distressing forms of these derangements. the popular way of accounting for many of these ills is that they come from colds or from straining lifts. but if colds and great strain upon the parts in question develop such diseases, why are they not seen among the inferior animals? the climatic alternations they endure, the severe labor some of them are obliged to perform, ought to cause their ruin; or else in popular phrase, 'make them catch their deaths from cold.'" legalized murder.--a medical writer of considerable ability presents the following picture, the counterpart of which almost any one can recall as having occurred within the circle of his acquaintance; perhaps numerous cases will be recalled by one who has been especially observing:-- "a man of great vital force is united to a woman of evenly-balanced organization. the husband, in the exercise of what he is pleased to term his 'marital rights,' places his wife, in a short time, on the nervous, delicate, sickly list. in the blindness and ignorance of his animal nature, he requires prompt obedience to his desires; and, ignorant of the law of right in this direction, thinking that it is her duty to accede to his wishes, though fulfilling them with a sore and troubled heart, she allows him passively, never lovingly, to exercise daily and weekly, month in and month out, the low and beastly of his nature, and eventually, slowly but surely, to kill her. and this man, who has as surely committed murder as has the convicted assassin, lures to his net and takes unto him another wife, to repeat the same programme of legalized prostitution on his part, and sickness and premature death on her part." prof. gerrish, in a little work from which we take the liberty to quote, speaks as follows on this subject:-- "one man reckless of his duty to the community, marries young, with means and prospects inadequate to support the family which is so sure to come ere long. his ostensible excuse is love; his real reason the gratification of his carnal instincts. another man, in exactly similar circumstances, but too conscientious to assume responsibilities which he cannot carry, and in which failure must compromise the comfort and tax the purses of people from whom he has no right to extort luxuries, forbears to marry; but, feeling the passions of his sex, and being imbued with the prevalent errors on such matters, resorts for relief to unlawful coition. at the wedding of the former, pious friends assemble with their presents and congratulations, and bid the legalized prostitution godspeed. love shields the crime, all the more easily because so many of the rejoicing guests have sinned in precisely the same way. the other man has no festival gathering.... society applauds the first and frowns on the second; but, to my mind, the difference between them is not markedly in favor of the former." "we hear a good deal said about certain crimes against nature, such as pederasty and sodomy, and they meet with the indignant condemnation of all right-minded persons. the statutes are especially severe on offenders of this class, the penalty being imprisonment between one and ten years, whereas fornication is punished by imprisonment for not more than sixty days and a fine of less than one hundred dollars. but the query very pertinently arises just here as to whether the use of the condom and defertilizing injections is not equally a crime against nature, and quite as worthy of our detestation and contempt. and, further, when we consider the brute creation, and see that they, guided by instinct, copulate only when the female is in proper physiological condition and yields a willing consent, it may be suggested that congress between men and women may, in certain circumstances, be a crime against nature, and one far worse in its results than any other. is it probable that a child born of a connection to which the woman objects will possess that felicitous organization which every parent should earnestly desire and endeavor to bestow on his offspring? can the unwelcome fruit of a rape be considered, what every child has a right to be, a pledge of affection? poor little pip, in 'great expectations,' spoke as the representative of a numerous class when he said, 'i was always treated as if i had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion and morality, and against the dissuading arguments of my best friends.' we enjoin the young to honor father and mother, never thinking how undeserving of respect are those whose children suffer from inherited ills, the result of the selfishness and carelessness of their parents in begetting them. "these accidental pregnancies are the great immediate cause of the enormously common crime of abortion, concerning which the morals of the people are amazingly blunted. the extent of the practice may be roughly estimated by the number of standing advertisements in the family newspapers, in which feticide is warranted safe and secret. it is not the poor only who take advantage of such nefarious opportunities; but the rich shamelessly patronize these professional and cowardly murderers of defenseless infancy. madame restell, who recently died by her own hand in new york, left a fortune of a million dollars, which she had accumulated by producing abortions." a husband who has not sunk in his carnality too far below the brute creation will certainly pause a moment, in the face of such terrible facts, before he continues his sensual, selfish, murderous course. indulgence during menstruation.--the following remarks which our own professional experience has several times confirmed, reveal a still more heinous violation of nature's laws:-- "to many it may seem that it is unnecessary to caution against contracting relationships at the period of the monthly flow, thinking that the instinctive laws of cleanliness and delicacy were sufficient to refrain the indulgence of the appetites; but they are little cognizant of the true condition of things in this world. often have i had husbands inform me that they had not missed having sexual relations with their wives once or more times a day for several years; and scores of women with delicate frames and broken-down health have revealed to me similar facts, and i have been compelled to make personal appeals to the husbands."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] the following is an important testimony by an eminent physician[ ] upon the same point:-- "females whose health is in a weak state ... become liable, in transgressing this law, to an infectious disorder, which, it is commonly supposed, can only originate or prevail among disreputable characters; but dr. bumstead and a number of other eminent authorities believe and teach that gonorrhoea may originate among women entirely virtuous in the ordinary sense of the term. that excessive venery is the chief cause that originates this peculiar form of inflammation, has long been the settled opinion of medical men." [footnote : dr. j. r. black.] it seems scarcely possible that such enormity could be committed by any human being, at least by civilized men, and in the face of the injunctions of moses to the jews, to say nothing of the evident indecency of the act. the jews still maintain their integrity to the observance of this command of their ancient lawgiver. "reason and experience both show that sexual relations at the menstrual period are very dangerous to both man and woman, and perhaps also for the offspring, should there chance to be conception."[ ] [footnote : mayer.] the woman suffers from the congestion and nervous excitement which occur at the most inopportune moment possible. man may suffer physical injury, though there are no grounds for the assertions of pliny that the menstrual blood is so potent for evil that it will, by a mere touch, rust iron, render a tree sterile, make dogs mad, etc., or that of paracelsus that "of it the devil makes spiders, fleas, caterpillars, and all the other insects that people the air." effects upon offspring.--that those guilty of the transgression should suffer, seems only just; but that an innocent being who had no part in the sin--no voice in the time or manner of its advent into the world--that such a one should suffer equally, if not more bitterly, with the transgressors themselves, seems anything but just. but such is nature's inexorable law, that the iniquities of the parents shall be visited upon the children; and this fact should be a most powerful influence to prevent parental transgression, especially in this direction, in which the dire consequences fall so heavily and so immediately upon an innocent being. says acton, "the ill effects of marital excesses are not confined to offending parties. no doubt can exist that many of the obscure cases of sickly children, born of apparently healthy parents, arise from this cause; and this is borne out by investigations amongst animals." breeders of stock who wish to secure sound progeny will not allow the most robust stallion to associate with mares as many times during the whole season as some of these salacious human males perform a similar act within a month. one reason why the offspring suffer is that the seminal fluid deteriorates very rapidly by repeated indulgence. the spermatozoa do not have time to become maturely developed. progeny resulting from such immature elements will possess the same deficiency. hence the hosts of deformed, scrofulous, weazen, and idiotic children which curse the race, and testify to the sensuality of their progenitors. another reason is the physical and nervous exhaustion which the parents bring upon themselves, and which totally unfits them to beget sound, healthy offspring. the effects of this evil may often be traced in a large family of children, nearly all of whom show traces of the excesses of their parents. it commonly happens, too, that such large families are on the hands of poor men who cannot earn enough to give them sufficient food and comfortable clothing, with nothing whatever to provide for their education. the overburdened mother has her strength totally exhausted by the excessive demands upon her system incident to child-bearing, so that she is unable to give her children that culture and training which all children need. more than as likely as not she feels that they were forced upon her, and hence she cannot hold for them all that tender sympathy and affection a mother should feel. the little ones grow up ignorant and often vicious; for want of home care drives them to the street. thus does one evil create another. it is certainly a question which deserves some attention, whether it is not a sin for parents to bring into the world more children than they can properly care for. if they can rear and educate three children properly, the same work would be only half done for six; and there are already in the world a sufficiency of half-raised people. from this class of society the ranks of thieves, drunkards, beggars, vagabonds, and prostitutes, are recruited. why should it be considered an improper or immoral thing to limit the number of children according to the circumstances of the parents? ought it not to be considered a crime against childhood and against the race to do otherwise? it is seriously maintained by a number of distinguished persons that man "is in duty bound to limit the number of his children as well as the sheep on his farm; the number of each to be according to the adequacy of his means for their support." indulgence during pregnancy.--transgressions of this sort are followed by the worst results of any form of marital excess. the mother suffers doubly, because laden with the burden of supporting two lives instead of one. but the results upon the child are especially disastrous. during the time when it is receiving its stock of vitality, while its plastic form is being molded, and its various organs acquiring that integrity of structure which makes up what is called constitutional vigor,--during this most critical of all periods in the life of the new being, its resources are exhausted and its structure depraved--and thus constitutional tendencies to disease produced--by the unnatural demands made upon the mother. effect upon the character.--still another terrible consequence results from this practice so contrary to nature. the delicate brain, which is being molded, with the other organs of the body, receives its cast largely from those mental and nervous sensations and actions of the mother which are the most intense. one of the most certain effects of sexual indulgence at this time is to develop abnormally the sexual instinct in the child. here is the key to the origin of much of the sexual precocity and depravity which curse humanity. sensuality is born in the souls of a large share of the rising generation. what wonder that prostitution flourishes in spite of christianity and civil law? it is scarcely necessary to say that all medical testimony concurs in forbidding indulgence during gestation. the same reasons require its interdiction during the nursing period. the fact that fecundation would be impossible during pregnancy, and that during this period the female, normally, has no sexual desire, are other powerful arguments in favor of perfect continence at this time. we quote the following from a work on health by dr. j. r. black:-- "coition during pregnancy is one of the ways in which the predisposition is laid for that terrible disease in children, epilepsy. the unnatural excitement of the nervous system in the mother by such a cause cannot operate otherwise than by inflicting injury upon the tender germ in her womb. this germ, it must be remembered, derives every quality it possesses from the parents, as well as every particle of matter of which it is composed. the old notion of anything like spontaneity in the development of the qualities of a new being is at variance with all the latest facts and inductions concerning reproduction. and so is that of a creative fiat. the smallest organic cell, as well as the most complicated organism, in form and quality, is wholly dependent upon the laws of derivation. "these laws are competent to explain, however subtle the ultimate process may be, the great diversities of human organization and character. impressions from without, the emotions, conduct, and play of the organic processes within, are never alike from day to day, or from hour to hour; and it is from the aggregate of these in the parents, but especially of those in the mother immediately before and after conception, that the quality of the offspring is determined. suppose, then, that there is every now and then an unnatural, excited, and exhausted state of the nervous system produced in the mother by excessive cohabitation, is it any wonder that the child's nervous system, which derives its qualities from those of its parents, should take its peculiar stamp from that of the parent in whom it lives, moves, and has its being? "in the adult, epilepsy is frequently developed by excessive venery; and the child born with such a predisposition will be exceedingly liable to the disease during its early years when the nervous system is notoriously prone to deranged action from very slight disturbing causes. "the infringement of this law regulating intercourse during pregnancy also reacts injuriously upon the mental capacity of the child, tending to give it a stupid, animalized look; and, there is also good reason to believe, aids in developing the idiotic condition." a selfish objection.--the married man will raise the plea that indulgence is to him a necessity. he has only to practice the principles laid down for the maintenance of continence to entirely remove any such necessity should there be the slightest semblance of a real demand. again, what many mistake for an indication of the necessity for indulgence, to relieve an accumulation of semen, is in fact, to state the exact truth, but a call of nature for a movement of the bowels. how this may occur, has already been explained, as being due to the pressure of the distended rectum upon the internal organs of generation situated at the base of the bladder. it is for this reason, chiefly, that a good share of sexual excesses occur in the morning. but, aside from all other considerations, is it not the most supreme selfishness for a man to consider only himself in his sexual relations, making his wife wholly subservient to his own desires? as a learned professor remarks, in speaking of woman, "who has a right to regard her as a therapeutic agent?" brutes and savages more considerate.--it is only the civilized, christianized (?) male human being who complains of the restraint imposed upon him by the laws of nature. the untutored barbarian, even some of the lowest of those who wear the human form, together with nearly all of the various classes of lower animals, abstain from sexual indulgence during pregnancy. the natives of the gold coast and many other african tribes regard it as a shameful offense to cohabit during gestation. in the case of lower animals, even when the male desires indulgence, the female resents any attempt of the sort by the most vigorous resistance. are not these wholesome lessons for that portion of the human race which professes to represent the accumulated wisdom, intelligence, and refinement of the world? those who need reproof on this point may reflect that by a continuance of the evil practice they are placing themselves on a plane even below the uncouth negro who haunts the jungles of southern africa. we quote the following from the pen of a talented professor in a well-known medical college:-- "i believe we cannot too strenuously insist upon this point--that sexual intercourse should never be undertaken with any other object than procreation, and never then unless the conditions are favorable to the production of a new being who will be likely to have cause to thankfully bless his parents for the gift of life. if this rule were generally observed, we should have no broken-nosed tristram shandys complaining of the carelessness of their fathers in begetting them."[ ] [footnote : dr. gerrish.] what may be done?--but what is the practical conclusion to be drawn from all the foregoing? what _should_ people do? what _may_ they do? dr. gardner offers the following remarks, which partially answer the questions:-- "we have shown that we can 'do right' without prejudice to health by the exercise of continence. self-restraint, the ruling of the passions, is a virtue, and is within the power of all well-regulated minds. nor is this necessarily perpetual or absolute. the passions may be restrained within proper limitations. he who indulges in lascivious thoughts may stimulate himself to frenzy; but if his mind were under proper control, he would find other employment for it, and his body, obedient to its potent sway, would not become the master of the man." what are the "proper limitations," every person must decide for himself in view of the facts which have been presented. if he find that the animal in his nature is too strong to allow him to comply with what seems to be the requirements of natural law, let him approximate as nearly to the truth as possible. "let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind," and act accordingly, not forgetting that this is a matter with serious moral bearings, and, hence, one in which conscience should be on the alert. it is of no use to reject truth because it is unpalatable. there can be nothing worse for a man than to "know the truth and do it not." it is but fair to say that there is a wide diversity of opinion among medical men on this subject. a very few hold that the sexual act should never be indulged except for the purpose of reproduction, and then only at periods when reproduction will be possible. others, while equally opposed to the excesses, the effects of which have been described, limit indulgence to the number of months in the year. read, reflect, weigh well the matter, then fix upon a plan of action, and, if it be in accordance with the dictates of better judgment, do not swerve from it. if the suggestion made near the outset of these remarks, in comparing the reproductive function in man and animals--viz., that the seasons of sexual approach should be governed by the inclination of the female--were conscientiously followed, it would undoubtedly do away with at least three-fourths of the excesses which have been under consideration. before rejecting the hint so plainly offered by nature, let every man consider for a moment whether he has any other than purely selfish arguments to produce against it. early moderation.--the time of all others when moderation is most imperatively demanded, yet least likely to be practiced, is at the beginning of matrimonial life. many a woman dates the beginning of a life of suffering from the first night after marriage; and the mental suffering from the disgusting and even horrible recollections of that night, the events of which were scarred upon her mind as well as upon her body, have made her equally as wretched mentally as bodily. a learned french writer, in referring to this subject, says, "the husband who begins with his wife by a rape is a lost man. he will never be loved." we quote the following very sensible words from dr. napheys:-- "it sometimes happens that marriage is consummated with difficulty. to overcome this, care, management, and forbearance should always be employed, and anything like precipitation and violence avoided." cases have come under our care of young wives who have required months of careful treatment to repair the damage inflicted on their wedding night. a medical writer has reported a case in which he was called upon to testify in a suit for divorce, which is an illustration of so gross a degree of sensuality that the perpetrator certainly deserved most severe punishment. the victim, a beautiful and accomplished young lady, to please her parents, was married to a man much older than herself, riches being the chief attraction. she at once began to pine, and in a very few months was a complete wreck. emaciated, spiritless, haggard, she was scarcely a shadow of her former self. the physician who was called in, upon making a local examination, found those delicate organs in a state of most terrible laceration and inflammation. the bladder, rectum, and other adjacent organs, were highly inflamed, and sensitive in the highest degree. upon inquiring respecting the cause, he found that from the initial night she had been subjected to the most excessive demands by her husband, "day and night." the tortures she had undergone had been terrific; and her mind trembled upon the verge of insanity. she entered suit for divorce on the charge of cruelty, but was defeated, the judge ruling that the law has no jurisdiction in matters of that sort. in another somewhat similar case which came to our knowledge, a young wife was delivered from the lecherous assaults of her husband--for they were no better--by the common sense of her neighbor friends, who gathered in force and insisted upon their discontinuance. it is only now and then that cases of this sort come to the surface. the majority of them are hidden deep down in the heart of the poor, heart-broken wife, and too often they are hidden along with the victim in an early grave. prevention of conception: its evils and dangers. the evil considered in the preceding section is by far the greatest cause of those which will be dwelt upon in this. excesses are habitually practiced through ignorance or carelessness of their direct results, and then to prevent the legitimate result of the reproductive act, innumerable devices are employed to render it fruitless. to even mention all of these would be too great a breach of propriety, even in this plain-spoken work; but accurate description is unnecessary, since those who need this warning are perfectly familiar with all the foul accessories of evil thus employed. we cannot do better than to quote from the writings of several of the most eminent authors upon this subject. the following paragraphs are from the distinguished mayer, who has already been frequently quoted:-- "the numerous stratagems invented by debauch to annihilate the natural consequences of coition, have all the same end in view." conjugal onanism.--"the soiling of the conjugal bed by the shameful maneuvers to which we have made allusion, is mentioned for the first time in gen. : , and following verses: 'and it came to pass, when he [onan] went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. and the thing which he did displeased the lord; wherefore he slew him.' "hence the name of _conjugal onanism_. "one cannot tell to what great extent this vice is practiced, except by observing its consequences, even among people who fear to commit the slightest sin, to such a degree is the public conscience perverted upon this point. still, many husbands know that nature often succeeds in rendering nugatory the most subtle calculations, and reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate. no matter; they persevere, none the less, and by the force of habit they poison the most blissful moments of life, with no surety of averting the result that they fear. so, who knows if the infants, too often feeble and weazen, are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete _procreations_, and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the generic act? is it not reasonable to suppose that the creative power, not meeting in its disturbed functions the conditions necessary for the elaboration of a normal product, the conception might be from its origin imperfect, and the being which proceeded therefrom, one of those monsters which are described in treatises on teratology?" "let us see, now, what are the consequences to those given to this practice of conjugal onanism. "we have at our disposition numerous facts which rigorously prove the disastrous influence of abnormal coitus to the woman, but we think it useless to publish them. all practitioners have more or less observed them, and it will only be necessary for them to call upon their memories to supply what our silence leaves. 'however, it is not difficult to conceive,' says dr. francis devay, 'the degree of perturbation that a like practice should exert upon the genital system of woman by provoking desires which are not gratified. a profound stimulation is felt through the entire apparatus; the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries enter into a state of orgasm, a storm which is not appeased by the natural crisis; a nervous super-excitation persists. there occurs, then, what would take place if, presenting food to a famished man, one should snatch it from his mouth after having thus violently excited his appetite. the sensibilities of the womb and the entire reproductive system are teased for no purpose. it is to this cause, too often repeated, that we should attribute the multiple neuroses, those strange affections which originate in the genital system of woman. our conviction respecting them is based upon a great number of observations. furthermore, the normal relations existing between the married couple undergo unfortunate changes; this affection, founded upon reciprocal esteem, is little by little effaced by the repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed; from thence proceed certain hard feelings, certain deep impressions which, gradually growing, eventuate in the scandalous ruptures of which the community rarely know the real motive.' "if the good harmony of families and their reciprocal relations are seriously menaced by the invasion of these detestable practices, the health of women, as we have already intimated, is fearfully injured. a great number of neuralgias appear to us to have no other cause. many women that we have interrogated on this matter have fortified this opinion. but that which to us has passed to the condition of incontestable proof, is the prevalence of uterine troubles, of enervation among the married, hysterical symptoms which are met with in the conjugal relation as often as among young virgins, arising from the vicious habits of the husbands in their conjugal intercourse.... still more, there is a graver affection, which is daily increasing, and which, if nothing arrests its invasion, will soon have attained the proportions of a scourge; we speak of the degeneration of the womb. we do not hesitate to place in the foremost rank, among the causes of this redoubtable disease, the refinements of civilization, and especially the artifices introduced in our day in the generic act. when there is no procreation, although the procreative faculties are excited, we see these pseudo-morphoses arise. thus it is noticed that polypi and schirrus [cancer] of the womb are common among prostitutes. and it is easy to account for the manner of action of this pathogenetic cause, if we consider how probable it is that the ejaculation and contact of the sperm with the uterine neck, constitutes, for the woman, the crisis of the genital function, by appeasing the venereal orgasm and calming the voluptuous emotions under the action of which the entire economy is convulsed." "we may, we trust, be pardoned for remarking upon the artifices imagined to prevent fecundation that there is in them an immense danger, of incalculable limits. we do not fear to be contradicted or taxed with exaggeration in elevating them into the proportions of a true calamity." the following is from an eminent physician[ ] who for many years devoted his whole attention to the diseases of women and lectured upon the subject in a prominent medical college:-- "it is undeniable that all the methods employed to prevent pregnancy are physically injurious. some of these have been characterized with sufficient explicitness, and the injury resulting from incomplete coitus to both parties has been made evident to all who are willing to be convinced. it should require but a moment's consideration to convince any one of the harmfulness of the common use of cold ablutions and astringent infusions and various medicated washes. simple and often wonderfully salutary as is cold water to a diseased limb, festering with inflammation, yet few are rash enough to cover a gouty toe, rheumatic knee, or erysipelatous head with cold water.... yet, when in the general state of nervous and physical excitement attendant upon coitus, when the organs principally engaged in this act are congested and turgid with blood, do you think you can with impunity throw a flood of cold or even lukewarm water far into the vitals in a continual stream? often, too, women add strong medicinal agents, intended to destroy by dissolution the spermatic germs, ere they have time to fulfill their natural destiny. these powerful astringents suddenly corrugate and close the glandular structure of the parts, and this is followed, necessarily, by a corresponding reaction, and the final result is debility and exhaustion, signalized by leucorrhoea, prolapsus, and other diseases. "finally, of the use of intermediate tegumentary coverings, made of thin rubber or gold-beater's skin, and so often relied upon as absolute preventives, madame de stael is reputed to have said, 'they are cobwebs for protection, and bulwarks against love.' their employment certainly must produce a feeling of shame and disgust utterly destructive of the true delight of pure hearts and refined sensibilities. they are suggestive of licentiousness and the brothel, and their employment degrades to bestiality the true feelings of manhood and the holy state of matrimony. neither do they give, except in a very limited degree, the protection desired. furthermore, they produce (as alleged by the best modern french writers, who are more familiar with the effect of their use than we are in the united states) certain physical lesions from their irritating presence as foreign bodies, and also, from the chemicals employed in their fabrication, and other effects inseparable from their employment, ofttimes of a really serious nature. "i will not further enlarge upon these instrumentalities. sufficient has been said to convince any one that to trifle with the grand functions of our organism, to attempt to deceive and thwart nature in her highly ordained prerogatives--no matter how simple seem to be the means employed--is to incur a heavy responsibility and run a fearful risk. it matters little whether a railroad train is thrown from the track by a frozen drop of rain or a huge bowlder lying in the way, the result is the same, the injuries as great. moral degradation, physical disability, premature exhaustion and decrepitude are the result of these physical frauds, and force upon our conviction the adage, which the history of every day confirms, that 'honesty is the best policy.'" [footnote : dr. gardner.] within the last ten years we have had under treatment many hundred cases of ladies suffering from ailments of a character peculiar to the sex; and in becoming acquainted with the history of individual cases we have, in many instances, found that the real cause of the disease which had sapped the vitality and undermined the constitution slowly but surely until cheerful health and freshness had given place to suffering, debility, and, in many cases, most deplorable melancholy, was the very crime against nature mentioned in the preceding paragraphs. the effects of these sins against nature are frequently not felt for years after the cause has been at work, and even then are seldom attributed to the true cause. in some instances we have known persons to suffer on for many years without having once suspected that the cause of their sufferings was a palpable violation of nature's laws. uterine diseases thus induced are among the most obstinate of diseases of this class, being often of long standing, and hence of a very serious character. dr. wm. goodell of philadelphia has recently called attention to the fact that the prevention of conception is one of the most common causes of prolapsus of the ovaries, a very common and painful disease. not infrequently, too, other organs, particularly the bladder, become affected, either through sympathy or in consequence of the congested condition of the contiguous parts. a difficulty which we have often met with has been the inability to convince those who have been guilty of the practices referred to, of the enormity of the sin against both soul and body. in spite of all warnings, perhaps supplemented by sufferings, the practice will often be continued, producing in the end the most lamentable results. too often it is the case that this reluctance to obey the dictates of nature's laws is the result of the unfeeling and unreasonable demands of a selfish husband. shaker views.--the shakers do not, as many suppose, believe wholly in celibacy. they believe in marriage and reproduction regulated by the natural law. they, also, would limit population, but not by interfering with nature; rather, by following nature's indications to the very letter. they believe "that no animals should use their reproductive powers and organs for any other than the simple purpose of procreation." recognizing the fact that this is the law among lower animals, they insist upon applying it to man. thus they find no necessity for the employment of those abominable contrivances so common among those who disregard the laws of nature. who will not respect the purity which must characterize sexual relations so governed? such a method for regulating the number of offspring is in immense contrast with that of the oneida community, which opens the door to the unstinted gratification of lust, separates the reproductive act entirely from its original purpose, and makes it the means of mere selfish, sensual, beastly--worse than brutish--gratification. those who are acquainted with the history of the founder of this community are obliged to look upon him as a scheming sensualist who well knows the truth, but deliberately chooses a course of evil, and beguiles into his snares others as sensual as himself. the abominations practiced among the members of the community which he has founded are represented by those who have had an inside view of its workings as too foul to mention. it seems almost wonderful that providence does not lay upon this gigantic brothel his hand of vengeance as in ancient times he did upon sodom, which could hardly have been more sunken in infamy than is this den of licentiousness. it is, indeed, astonishing that it should be tolerated in the midst of a country which professes to regard virtue and respect the marriage institution. we are glad to note that popular opinion is calling loudly for the eradication of this foul ulcer. only a short time ago a convention of more than fifty ministers met at syracuse, n. y., for the express purpose of considering ways and means for the removal of this blot "by legal measures or otherwise." we sincerely wish them success; and it appears to us that the people in that vicinity would be justified should they rise _en masse_ and purge their community of an evil so heinous, in case no civil authority can be induced to do the work of expurgation.[ ] [footnote : just as this edition is going to press we receive the gratifying information that the younger members of the community have become disgusted with their sensual life and announced that their former vile practices will be discontinued. mr. noyes with a few followers has sought refuge in canada.--j. h. k.] moral bearings of the question.--most of the considerations presented thus far have been of a physical character, though occasional references to the moral aspect of the question have been made. in a certain sense--and a true one--the question is wholly a moral one; for what moral right have men or women to do that which will injure the integrity of the physical organism given them, and for which they are accountable to their creator? surely none; for the man who destroys himself by degrees, is no less a murderer than he who cuts his throat or puts a bullet through his brain. the crime is the same--being the shortening of human life--whether the injury is done to one's self or to another. in this matter, there are at least three sufferers; the husband, the wife, and the offspring, though in most cases, doubtless, the husband is the one to whom the sin almost exclusively belongs. unconsidered murders.--but there is a more startling phase of this moral question. it is not impossible to show that actual violence is done to a human life. it has been previously shown that in the two elements, the ovum of the female, and the spermatozoon of the male, are, in rudimentary form, all the elements which go to make up the "human form divine." alone, neither of these elements can become anything more than it already is; but the instant that the two elements come in contact, fecundation takes place, and the individual life begins. from that moment until maturity is reached, years subsequently, the whole process is only one of development. nothing absolutely new is added at any subsequent moment. in view of these facts, it is evident that at the very instant of conception the embryonic human being possesses all the right to life it ever can possess. it is just as much an individual, a distinct human being, possessed of soul and body, as it ever is, though in a very immature form. that conception may take place during the reproductive act cannot be denied. if, then, means are employed with a view to prevent conception immediately after the accomplishment of the act, or at any subsequent time, if successful, it would be by destroying the delicate product of the conception which had already occurred, and which, as before observed, is as truly a distinct individual as it can ever become--certainly as independent as at any time previous to birth. is it immoral to take human life? is it a sin to kill a child? is it a crime to strangle an infant at birth? is it a murderous act to destroy a half-formed human being in its mother's womb? who will dare to answer "no," to one of these questions? then, who can refuse assent to the plain truth that it is equally a murder to deprive of life the most recent product of the generative act? who can number the myriads of murders that have been perpetrated at this early period of existence? who can estimate the load of guilt that weighs upon some human souls? and who knows how many brilliant lights have been thus early extinguished? how many promising human plantlets thus ruthlessly destroyed in the very act of germinating? it is to be hoped that in the final account the extenuating influence of ignorance may weigh heavily in the scale of justice against the damning testimony of these "unconsidered murders." the charge disputed.--it will be urged that these early destructions are not murders. murder is an awful word. the act itself is a terrible crime. no wonder that its personal application should be studiously avoided; the human being who would not shrink from such a charge would be unworthy of the name of human--a very brute. nevertheless, it is necessary to look the plain facts squarely in the face, and shrink not from the decision of an enlightened conscience. we quote the following portions of an extract which we give in full elsewhere; it is from the same distinguished authority[ ] whom we have frequently quoted:-- "there is, in fact, no moment after conception when it can be said that the child has not life, and the crime of destroying human life is as heinous and as sure before the period of 'quickening' has been attained, as afterward. but you still defend your horrible deed by saying: 'well, if there be, as you say, this mere animal life, equivalent at the most to simple vitality, there is no mind, no soul destroyed, and, therefore, there is no crime committed.' just so surely as one would destroy and root out of existence all the fowls in the world by destroying all the eggs in existence, so certain is it that you do by your act destroy the animal man in the egg and the soul which animates it.... murder is always sinful, and murder is the willful destruction of a human being at any period of its existence, from its earliest germinal embryo to its final, simple, animal existence in aged decrepitude and complete mental imbecility." [footnote : gardner.] difficulties.--married people will exclaim, "what shall we do?" delicate mothers who have already more children on their hands than they can care for, whose health is insufficient to longer endure the pains and burdens of pregnancy, but whose sensual husbands continue to demand indulgence, will echo in despairing tones, while acknowledging the truth, "what shall _we_ do?" we will answer the question for the latter first. mr. mill, the distinguished english logician, in his work on "the subjection of woman," thus represents the erroneous view which is popularly held of the sexual relations of the wife to the husband: "the wife, however brutal a tyrant she may be chained to--though she may know that he hates her, though it may be his daily pleasure to torture her, and though she may feel it impossible not to loathe him--he can claim from her and enforce the lowest degradation of a human being, that of being made the instrument of an animal function contrary to her inclinations." woman's rights.--a woman does not, upon the performance of the marriage ceremony, surrender all her personal rights. the law recognizes this fact if her husband beats her, or in any way injures her by physical force, or even by neglect. why may she not claim protection from other maltreatment as well? or, at least, why may she not refuse to lend herself to beastly lust? she remains the proprietor of her own body, though married; and who is so lost to all sense of justice, equity, and even morality, as to claim that she is under any moral obligation to allow her body to be abused? since the first edition of this work was published, we have many times been appealed to by suffering wives in the most pathetic terms. in many instances the poor wife was suffering with local disease of a serious character, making sexual approaches in the highest degree painful as well as repugnant; yet notwithstanding this, the demands of the husband for the gratification of his bestial passions were, in many instances, in no degree lessened by a knowledge of the facts in the case. in cases like these it is often a very delicate and exceedingly difficult task to point out the duty of the suffering wife and mother. the duty of the husband is very plain, and to him the wise physician will appeal in a manner which cannot fail to arouse him to a sense of his duty if there is yet left unconsumed by the fires of lust even a vestige of genuine manhood. what to do.--now to the question as asked by the first parties--married people who together seek for a solution of the difficulties arising from an abandonment of all protectives against fecundation. the true remedy, and the natural one, is doubtless to be found in the suggestion made under the heads of "continence" and "marital excesses." by a course of life in accordance with the principles there indicated, all of these evils and a thousand more would be avoided. there would be less sensual enjoyment, but more elevated joy. there would be less animal love, but more spiritual communion; less grossness, more purity; less development of the animal, and a more fruitful soil for the culture of virtue, holiness, and all the christian graces. "but such a life would be impossible this side of heaven." a few who claim to have tried the experiment think not. the shakers claim to practice, as well as teach, such principles; and with the potent aids to continence previously specified, it might be found less difficult in realization than in thought. a compromise.--there will be many, the vast majority, perhaps, who will not bring their minds to accept the truth which nature seems to teach, which would confine sexual acts to reproduction wholly. others, acknowledging the truth, declare "the spirit willing" though "the flesh is weak." such will inquire, "is there not some compromise by means of which we may escape the greater evils of our present mode of life?" such may find in the following facts suggestions for a "better way," if not the _best_ way, though it cannot be recommended as wholly free from dangers, and though it cannot be said of it that it is not an _unnatural_ way:-- "menstruation in woman indicates an aptitude for impregnation, and this condition remains for a period of six or eight days after the entire completion of the flow. during this time only can most women conceive. allow twelve days for the onset of the menses to pass by, and the probabilities of impregnation are very slight. this act of continence is healthful, moral, and irreproachable."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] it should be added to the above that the plan suggested is not absolutely certain to secure immunity from conception. the period of abstinence should certainly extend from the beginning of menstruation to the fourteenth day. to secure even reasonable safety, it is necessary to practice further abstinence for three or four days previous to the beginning of the flow. many writers make another suggestion which would certainly be beneficial to individual health; viz., that the husband and wife should habitually occupy separate beds. such a practice would undoubtedly serve to keep the sexual instincts in abeyance. separate apartments, or at least the separation of the beds by a curtain, are recommended by some estimable physicians, who suggest that such a plan would enable both parties to conduct their morning ablutions with proper thoroughness and without sacrificing that natural modesty which operates so powerfully as a check upon the excessive indulgence of the passions. many will think the suggestion a good one and will make a practical application of it. sleeping in single beds is reputed to be a european custom of long standing among the higher classes. this subject cannot be concluded better than by the following quotations from an excellent and able work entitled, "the ten laws of health"[ ]:-- "the obvious design of the sexual desire is the reproduction of the species.... the gratification of this passion, or indeed of any other, beyond its legitimate end, is an undoubted violation of natural law, as may be determined by the light of nature, and by the resulting moral and physical evils." "those creatures not gifted with erring reason, but with unerring instinct, and that have not the liberty of choice between good and evil, cohabit only at stated periods, when pleasure and reproduction are alike possible. it is so ordered among them that the means and the end are never separated; and as it was the all-wise being who endowed them with this instinct, without the responsibility resulting from the power to act otherwise, it follows that it is his law, and must, therefore, be the true copy for all beings to follow having the same functions to perform, and for the same end. the mere fact that men and women have the power and liberty of conforming or not conforming to this copy does not set them free from obedience to a right course, nor from the consequences of disobedience." "the end of sexual pleasure being to reproduce the species, it follows, from the considerations just advanced, that when the sexual function is diverted from its end, reproduction, or if the means be used when the end is impossible, harm or injury should ensue." "perhaps the number is not small of those who think there is nothing wrong in an unlimited indulgence of the sexual propensity during married life. the marriage vow seems to be taken as equivalent to the freest license, about which there need be no restraint. yet, if there is any truth in the law in reference to the enjoyment of the means only when the end is possible, the necessity of the limitation of this indulgence during married life is clearly as great as for that of any other sensual pleasure. "a great majority of those constituting the most highly civilized communities, act upon the belief that anything not forbidden by sacred or civil law is neither sinful nor wrong. they have not found cohabitation during pregnancy forbidden; nor have they ever had their attention drawn to the injury to health and organic development, which such a practice inflicts. hence, a habitual yielding to inclination in this matter has determined their life-long behavior. "the infringement of this law in the married state does not produce in the husband any very serious disorder. debility, aches, cramps, and a tendency to epileptic seizures, are sometimes seen as the effects of great excess. an evil of no small account is the steady growth of the sexual passion by habitual unrestraint. it is in this way that what is known as libidinous blood is nursed as well among those who are strictly virtuous, in the ordinary meaning of the term, as among those who are promiscuous in their intercourse. "the wife and the offspring are the chief sufferers by the violation of this law among the married. why this is so, may in part be accounted for by the following consideration: among the animal kind it is the female which decides when the approaches of the male are allowable. when these are untimely, her instinctive prompting leads her to resist and protect herself with ferocious zeal. no one at all acquainted with the remarkable wisdom nature invariably displays in all her operations, will doubt that the prohibition of all sexual intercourse among animals during the period of pregnancy must be for a wise and good purpose. and, if it serves a wise and good purpose with them, why should an opposite course not serve an unwise and bad purpose with us? our bodies are very much like theirs in structure and in function; and in the mode and laws that govern reproduction there is absolutely no difference. the mere fact that we possess the power to act otherwise than they do during that period, does not make it right. "human beings having no instinctive prompting as to what is right and what is wrong, cohabitation, like many other points of the behavior, is left for reason or the will to determine; or, rather, as things now are to unreason; for reason is neither consulted nor enlightened as to what is proper and allowable in the matter. nature's rule, by instinct, makes it devolve upon the female to determine when the approaches of the male are allowable. "but some may say that she is helpless in the matter. no one dare to approach her without consent before marriage; and why should man not be educated up to the point of doing the same after marriage? she is neither his slave, nor his property; nor does the tie of marriage bind her to carry out any unnatural requirement." [footnote : j. r. black, m.d.] infanticide and abortion. few but medical men are aware of the enormous proportions which have been assumed by these terrible crimes during the present century. that they are increasing with fearful rapidity and have really reached such a magnitude as to seriously affect the growth of civilized nations, and to threaten their very existence, has become a patent fact to observing physicians. the crime itself differs little, in reality, from that considered in the last section, the prevention of conception. it is, in fact, the same crime postponed till a later period. we quote the following eloquent words on this subject:-- "of all the sins, physical and moral against man and god, i know of none so utterly to be condemned as the very common one of the destruction of the child while yet in the womb of the mother. so utterly repugnant is it that i can scarcely express the loathing with which i approach the subject. murder!--murder in cold blood, without cause, of an unknown child; one's nearest relative; in fact, part of one's very being; actually having, not only one's own blood in its being, but that blood momentarily interchanging! good god! does it seem possible that such depravity can exist in a parent's breast--in a mother's heart! "'tis for no wrong that it has committed that its sweet life is so cruelly taken away. its coming is no disgrace; its creation was not in sin, but--its mother 'don't want to be bothered with any more brats; can hardly take care of what she has got; is going to europe in the spring.' "we can forgive the poor deluded girl--seduced, betrayed, abandoned--who, in her wild frenzy, destroys the mute evidence of her guilt. we have only sympathy and sorrow for her. but for the married shirk who disregards her divinely-ordained duty, we have nothing but contempt, even if she be the lordly woman of fashion, clothed in purple and fine linen. if glittering gems adorn her person, within there is foulness and squalor."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] not a modern crime.--although this crime has attained remarkable proportions in modern times, it is not a new one by any means, as the following paragraph will suffice to show:-- "infanticide and exposure were also the custom among the romans, medes, canaanites, babylonians, and other eastern nations, with the exception of the israelites and egyptians. the scandinavians killed their offspring from pure fantasy. the norwegians, after having carefully swaddled their children, put some food into their mouths, placed them under the roots of trees or under the rocks to preserve them from ferocious beasts. infanticide was also permitted among the chinese, and we saw, during the last century, vehicles going round the streets of pekin daily to collect the bodies of the dead infants. to-day there exist foundling hospitals to receive children abandoned by their parents. the same custom is also observed in japan, in the isles of the southern ocean, at otaheite, and among several savage nations of north america. it is related of the jaggers of guinea, that they devour their own children."[ ] [footnote : burdach.] the greeks practiced infanticide systematically, their laws at one time requiring the destruction of crippled or weakly children. among all the various nations, the general object of the crime seems to have been to avoid the trouble of rearing the children, or to avoid a surplus, objects not far different from those had in view by those who practice the same crimes at the present time. the destruction of the child after the mother has felt its movements is termed infanticide; before that time it is commonly known as abortion. it is a modern notion that the child possesses no soul or individual life until the period of quickening, an error which we have already sufficiently exposed. the ancients, with just as much reason, contended that no distinct life was present until after birth. hence it was that they could practice without scruple the crime of infanticide to prevent too great increase of population. "plato and aristotle were advocates of this practice, and these stoics justified this monstrous practice by alleging that the child only acquired a soul at the moment when it ceased to have uterine life and commenced to respire. from hence it resulted that, the child not being animated, its destruction was no murder." the prevalence of this crime will be indicated by the following observations from the most reliable sources:-- "we know that in certain countries abortion is practiced in a manner almost public, without speaking of the east, where it has, so to speak, entered into the manners of the country. we see it in america, in a great city like new york, constituting a regular business and not prevented, where it has enriched more than one midwife." "england does not yield to germany or france in the frequency of the crime of infanticide."[ ] [footnote : jardien.] "any statistics attainable are very incomplete. false certificates are daily given by attending physicians. men, if they are only rich enough, die of 'congestion of the brain,' not 'delirium tremens;' and women, similarly situated, do not die from the effects of abortion, but of 'inflammation of the bowels,' etc." "infanticide, as it is generally considered (destroying a child after quickening), is of very rare occurrence in new york, whereas abortions (destroying the embryo before quickening) are of daily habit in the families of the best informed and most religious; among those abounding in wealth, as well as among the poor and needy."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] "perhaps only medical men will credit the assertion that the frequency of this form of destroying human life exceeds all others by at least fifty per cent, and that not more than one in a thousand of the guilty parties receive any punishment by the hand of civil law. but there is a surer mode of punishment for the guilty mother in the self-executing laws of nature."[ ] [footnote : black.] "from a very large verbal and written correspondence in this and other states, i am satisfied that we have become _a nation of murderers_."[ ] [footnote : reamy.] said a distinguished clergyman of brooklyn in a sermon, "why send missionaries to india when child-murder is here of daily, almost hourly, occurrence; aye, when the hand that puts money into the contribution-box to-day, yesterday or a month ago, or to-morrow, will murder her own unborn offspring? "the hindoo mother, when she abandons her babe upon the sacred ganges, is, contrary to her heart, obeying a supposed religious law, and you desire to convert her to your own worship of the moloch of fashion and laziness and love of greed. out upon such hypocrisy!" writers tell us that it has even become the boast of many women that they "know too much to have babies." says the learned dr. storer, "will the time come, think ye, when husbands can no longer, as they now frequently do, commit the crime of rape upon their unwilling wives, and persuade them or compel them to allow a still more dreadful violence to be wreaked upon the children nestling within them--children fully alive from the very moment of conception, that have already been fully detached from all organic connection with their parent, and only re-attached to her for the purposes of nutriment and growth, and to destroy whom 'is a crime of the same nature, both against our maker and society, as to destroy an infant, a child, or a man?'"[ ] [footnote : "is it i?"] says another well-known author, "ladies boast to each other of the impunity with which they have aborted, as they do of their expenditures, of their dress, of their success in society. there is a fashion in this, as in all other female customs, good and bad. the wretch whose account with the almighty is heaviest with guilt too often becomes a heroine."[ ] [footnote : a woman's thoughts about women.] causes of the crime.--many influences may combine to cause the mother ruthlessly to destroy her helpless child: as, to conceal the results of sin; to avoid the burdens of maternity; to secure ease and freedom to travel, etc., or even from a false idea that maternity is vulgar; but it is true, beyond all question, that the primary cause of the sin is far back of all these influences. the most unstinted and scathing invectives are used in characterizing the criminality of a mother who takes the life of her unborn babe; but a word is seldom said of the one who forced upon her the circumstances which gave the unfortunate one existence. though doctors, ministers, and moralists have said much on this subject, and written more, it is reasonable to suppose that they will never accomplish much of anything in the direction of reform until they recognize the part the man acts in all of these sad cases, and begin to demand reform where it is most needed, and where its achievement will effect the most good. as was observed in the remarks upon the subject of "prevention of conception," this evil has its origin in "marital excesses," and in a disregard of the natural law which makes the female the sole proprietor of her own body, and gives to her the right to refuse the approaches of the male when unprepared to receive them without doing violence to the laws of her being. the nature of the crime.--"the married and well-to-do, who by means of medicines and operations produce abortions at early periods of pregnancy, have no excuse except the pretense that they do not consider it murder until the child quickens. "no, not murder, you say, for 'there has not been any life in the child.' do not attempt to evade, even to man, a crime which cannot be hidden from the all-seeing. the poor mother has not herself felt the life of the child perhaps, but that is a quibble only of the laws of man, founded indeed upon the view, now universally recognized as incorrect, that the child's life began when its movements were first strong enough to be perceptible. there is, in fact, no moment after conception when it can be said that the child has not life, and the crime of destroying human life is as heinous and as sure before the period of 'quickening' has been attained as afterward. but you still defend your horrible deed by saying, 'well, if there be, as you say, this mere animal life, equivalent at the most to simple vitality, there is no mind, no soul destroyed, and therefore, there is no crime committed.' just so surely as one would destroy and root out of existence all the fowl in the world by destroying all the eggs in existence, so certain is it that you do by your act destroy the animal man in the egg, and the soul which animates it. when is the period that intelligence comes to the infant? are its feeble first strugglings any evidence of its presence? has it any appreciable quantity at birth? has it any valuable, useful quantity even when a year old? when, then, is it, that destruction is harmless or comparatively sinless? while awaiting your metaphysical answer, i will tell you when it is sinful. murder is always sinful, and murder is the willful destruction of a human being at any period of its existence, from its earliest germinal embryo to its final, simple, animal existence in aged decrepitude and complete mental imbecility."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] "there are those who would fain make light of this crime by attempting to convince themselves and others that a child, while in embryo, has only a sort of vegetative life, not yet endowed with thought, and the ability to maintain an independent existence. if such a monstrous philosophy as this presents any justification for such an act, then the killing of a newly-born infant, or of an idiot, may be likewise justified. the destruction of the life of an unborn human being, for the reason that it is small, feeble, and innocently helpless, rather aggravates than palliates the crime. every act of this kind, with its justification, is obviously akin to that savage philosophy which accounts it a matter of no moment, or rather a duty, to destroy feeble infants, or old, helpless fathers and mothers."[ ] [footnote : black.] instruments of crime.--"the means through which abortions are effected are various. sometimes it is through potent drugs, extensively advertised in newspapers claiming to be moral!--the advertisements so adroitly worded as to convey under a caution the precise information required of the liability of the drug to produce miscarriages. sometimes the information is conveyed through secret circulars; but more commonly the deed is consummated by professed abortionists, who advertise themselves as such through innuendo, or through gaining this kind of repute by the frequent commission of the act. not a few women, deterred by lingering modesty or some sense of shame, attempt and execute it upon themselves, and then volunteer to instruct and encourage others to go and do likewise."[ ] [footnote : black.] results of this unnatural crime.--it is the universal testimony of physicians that the effects of abortion are almost as deadly upon the mother as upon the child. the amount of suffering is vastly greater; for that of the child, if it suffer at all, is only momentary, in general, while the mother is doomed to a life of suffering, of misery, if she survives the shock of the terrible outrage against her nature. it has been proved by statistics that the danger of immediate death is _fifteen times as great as in natural childbirth_. a medical author of note asserts that a woman suffers more injury from one abortion than she would from twenty normal births. says dr. gardner on this point:-- "we know that the popular idea is that women are worn out by the toil and wear connected with the raising of large families, and we can willingly concede something to this statement; but it is certainly far more observable that the efforts at the present day, made to avoid propagation, are ten thousand-fold more disastrous to the health and constitution, to say nothing of the demoralization of mind and heart, which cannot be estimated by red cheeks or physical vigor." an unwelcome child.--but suppose the mother does not succeed in her attempts against the life of her child, as she may not; what fearful results may follow! who can doubt that the murderous intent of the mother will be stamped indelibly upon the character of the unwelcome child, giving it a natural propensity for the commission of murderous deeds? then again--sickening thought--suppose the attempts to destroy the child are unsuccessful, resulting only in horrid mutilation of its tender form; when such a child is born, what terrible evidences may it bear in its crippled and misshapen body of the cruel outrage perpetrated upon it! that such cases do occur is certain from the following narrative, which we might confirm by others similar in character:-- "a lady, determined not to have any more children, went to a professed abortionist, and he attempted to effect the desired end by violence. with a pointed instrument the attempt was again and again made, but without the looked-for result. so vigorously was the effort made, that, astonished at no result being obtained, the individual stated that there must be some mistake, that the lady could not be pregnant, and refused to perform any further operations. partially from doubt and partially from fear, nothing further was attempted; and in due process of time the woman was delivered of an infant, shockingly mutilated, with one eye entirely put out, and the brain so injured that this otherwise robust child was entirely wanting in ordinary sense. this poor mother, it would seem, needs no future punishment for her sin. ten years face to face with this poor idiot, whose imbecility was her direct work--has it not punished her sufficiently?" the remedy.--whether this gigantic evil can ever be eradicated, is exceedingly doubtful. to effect its cure would be to make refined christians out of brutal sensualists; to emancipate woman from the enticing, alluring slavery of fashion; to uproot false ideas of life and its duties,--in short, to revolutionize society. the crime is perpetrated in secret. many times no one but the criminal herself is cognizant of the evil deed. only occasionally do cases come near enough to the surface to be dimly discernible; hence the evident inefficiency of any civil legislation. but the evil is a desperate one, and is increasing; shall no attempt be made to check the tide of crime and save the sufferers from both physical and spiritual perdition? an effort should be made, at least. let every christian raise the note of warning. from every christian pulpit let the truth be spoken in terms too plain for misapprehension. let those who are known to be guilty of this most revolting crime be looked upon as murderers, as they are; and let their real moral status be distinctly shown. all of these means will do something to effect a reform; but the radical cure of the evil will only be found in the principles suggested in the section devoted to the consideration of "marital excesses." the adoption of those principles and strict adherence to them would effectually prevent the occurrence of circumstances which are the occasion of abortions and infanticides. murder by proxy.--"there is, at the present time, a kind of infanticide, which, although it is not so well known, is even more dangerous, because done with impunity. there are parents who recoil with horror at the idea of destroying their offspring, although they would greatly desire to be disembarrassed of them, who yet place them without remorse with nurses who enjoy the sinister reputation of never returning the children to those who have intrusted them to their care. these unfortunate little beings are condemned to perish from inanition and bad treatment. "the number of these innocent victims is greater than would be imagined, and very certainly exceeds that of the marked infanticides sent by the public prosecutor to the court of the assizes." the social evil. illicit intercourse has been a foul blot upon humanity from the earliest periods of history. at the present moment, it is a loathsome ulcer eating at the heart of civilization, a malignant leprosy which shows its hideous deformities among the fairest results of modern culture. our large cities abound with dens of vice whose _habitues_ shamelessly promenade the most public streets and flaunt their infamy in the face of every passer-by. in many large cities, especially in those of continental europe, these holds of vice are placed under the supervision of the law by the requirement that every keeper of a house of prostitution must pay for a license; in other words, must buy the right to lead his fellow-men "down to the depths of hell." in smaller cities, as well as in large ones, in fact, from the great metropolis down to the country village, the haunts of vice are found. every army is flanked by bands of courtesans. wherever men go, loose women follow, penetrating even to the wildness of the miner's camp, far beyond the verge of civilization. but brothels and traveling strumpets do not fully represent the vast extent of this monster evil. there is a class of immoral women--probably exceeding in numbers the grosser class just referred to--who consider themselves respectable; indeed, who are considered very respectable. few are acquainted with their character. they live in elegant style and mingle in genteel society. privately, they prosecute the most unbounded licentiousness, for the purpose of gain, or merely to gratify their lewdness. "kept mistresses" are much more numerous than common prostitutes. the numerous scandal and divorce suits which expose the infidelity of husbands and wives, are sufficient evidence that illicit commerce is not confined to the unmarried; but so many are the facilities for covering and preventing the results of sins of this description it is impossible to form any just estimate of their frequency. the incontinence of husbands and the unchastity of wives will only appear in their enormity at that awful day when every one shall "stand before the judgment-seat" and hear the penalty of his guilty deeds. unchastity of the ancients.--we are prone to believe that the present is the most licentious age the world has ever known; that in the nineteenth century the climax of evil has been reached; that the libidinous blood of all the ages has culminated to produce a race of men more carnal than all predecessors. it is a sickening thought that any previous epoch could have been more vile than this; but history presents facts which disclose in ancient times periods when lust was even more uncontrolled than now; when vice was universal; and when virtue was a thing unknown. a few references to historical facts will establish this point. we do not make these allusions in any way to justify the present immorality, but to show the part which vice has acted in the overthrow of nations. from the sacred record we may judge that before the flood a state of corruption prevailed which was even greater and more general than any that has ever since been reached; only eight persons were fit to survive the calamity which swept into eternity that lustful generation with their filthy deeds. but men soon fell into vice again, for we find among the early assyrians a total disregard of chastity. her kings reveled in the grossest sensuality. no excess of vice could surpass the licentiousness of the ptolemies, who made of alexandria a bagnio, and all egypt a hot-bed of vice. herodotus relates that "the pyramid of cheops was built by the lovers of the daughter of this king; and that she never would have raised this monument to such a height except by multiplying her prostitutions." history also relates the adventures of that queenly courtesan, cleopatra, who captivated and seduced by her charms two masters of the world, and whose lewdness surpassed even her beauty. tyre and sidon, media, phoenicia, syria, and all the orient, were sunk in sensuality. fornication was made a part of their worship. women carried through the streets of the cities the most obscene and revolting representations. among all these nations a virtuous woman was not to be found; for, according to herodotus, the young women were by the laws of the land "obliged, once in their lives, to give themselves up to the desires of strangers in the temple of venus, and were not permitted to refuse anyone."[ ] [footnote : bourgeois.] st. augustine speaks of these religious debaucheries as still practiced in his day in phoenicia. they were even continued until constantine destroyed the temples in which they were prosecuted, in the fourth century. among the greeks the same corruptions prevailed in the worship of bacchus and phallus, which was celebrated by processions of half-nude girls "performing lascivious dances with men disguised as satyrs." in fact, as x. bourgeois says, "prostitution was in repute in greece." the most distinguished women were courtesans, and the wise socrates would be justly called, in modern times, a libertine. the abandonment to lust was, if possible, still more complete in the times of the roman emperors. rome astonished the universe "by the boldness of its turpitudes, after having astonished it by the splendor of its triumphs." the great caesar was such a rake that he has been said to have "merited to be surnamed every woman's husband." antony and augustus were equally notorious. the same sensuality pervaded the masses as reigned in the courts, and was stimulated by the erotic poems of ovid, catullus, and other poets of the time. tiberius displayed such ingenuity in inventing refinements in impudicity that it was necessary to coin new words to designate them. caligula committed the horrid crime of incest with all his sisters, even in public. his palace was a brothel. the roman empress, messalina, disguised herself as a prostitute and excelled the most degraded courtesans in her monstrous debaucheries. the roman emperor vitellius was accustomed to take an emetic after having eaten to repletion, to enable him to renew his gluttony. with still grosser sensuality he stimulated his satiated passions with philters and various aphrodisiac mixtures. nero, the most infamous of the emperors, committed rapes on the stage of the public theaters of rome, disguised as a wild beast. if this degraded voluptuousness had been confined to royalty, some respect might yet be entertained for the virtue of the ancients; but the foul infection was not restrained within such narrow bounds. it invaded whole empires until they fell in pieces from very rottenness. what must have been the condition of a nation that could tolerate such a spectacle as its monarch riding through the streets of its metropolis in a state of nudity, drawn by women in the same condition? such a deed did heliogabalus in rome. in the thirteenth century, virtue was almost as scarce in france as in ancient greece. nobles held as mistresses all the young girls of their domains. about every fifth person was a bastard. just before the revolution, chastity was such a rarity that a woman was actually obliged to apologize for being virtuous! in these disgusting facts we find one of the most potent agents in effecting the downfall of the nations. licentiousness sapped their vitality and weakened their prowess. the men who conquered the world were led captive by their own beastly passions. thus the assyrians, the medes, the grecians, the romans, successively fell victims to their lusts, and gave way to more virtuous successors. even the jews, the most enlightened people of their age, fell more than once through this same sin, which was coupled with idolatry, of which their seduction by the midianites is an example. surely, modern times present no worse spectacles of carnality than these; and will it be claimed that anything so vile is seen among civilized nations at the present day? but though there may be less grossness in the sensuality of to-day, the moral turpitude of men may be even greater than that of ancient times. enlightened christianity has raised the standard of morality. christ's commentary upon the seventh commandment requires a more rigorous chastity than ancient standards demanded, even among the jews; for had not david, solomon, and even the pious jacob more wives than one? consequently, a slight breach of chastity now requires as great a fall from virtue as a greater lapse in ages past, and must be attended with as severe a moral penalty. we have seen how universal is the "social evil," that it is a vice almost as old as man himself, which shows how deeply rooted in his perverted nature it has become. the inquiry arises, what are the causes of so monstrous a vice? so gross an outrage upon nature's laws? so withering a blight upon the race? causes of the "social evil."--a vice that has become so great an evil, even in these enlightened times, as to defy the most skillful legislation, which openly displays its gaudy filthiness and mocks at virtue with a lecherous stare, must have its origin in causes too powerful to be ignored. libidinous blood.--in no other direction are the effects of heredity to be more distinctly traced than in the transmission of sensual propensities. the children of libertines are almost certain to be rakes and prostitutes. history affords numerous examples in illustration of this fact. the daughter of augustus was as unchaste as her father, and her daughter was as immoral as herself. the sons of david showed evident traces of their father's failing. witness the incest of amnon, and the voluptuousness of solomon, who had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. solomon's son was, likewise, a noted polygamist, of whom the record says, "he desired many wives." his son's son manifested the same propensity in taking as many wives as the debilitated state of his kingdom enabled him to support. but perhaps we may be allowed to trace the origin of this libidinous propensity still further back. a glance at the genealogy of david will show that he was descended from judah through pharez, who was the result of an incestuous union between judah and his daughter-in-law. is it unreasonable to suppose that the abnormal passion which led david to commit the most heinous sin of his life in his adultery with bath-sheba and subsequently procuring the death of her husband, was really an hereditary propensity which had come down to him through his ancestors, and which, under more favorable circumstances, was more fully developed in his sons? the trait may have been kept dormant by the active and simple habits of his early years, but asserted itself in full force under the fostering influence of royal idleness and luxury. in accordance with the known laws of heredity, such a tendency would be the legitimate result of such a combination of circumstances. the influence of marital excesses, and especially sexual indulgence during pregnancy, in producing vicious tendencies in offspring, has been fully dwelt upon elsewhere in this work, and will not be reconsidered here, it being only necessary to call attention to the subject. physiology shows conclusively that thousands of parents whose sons have become libertines and their daughters courtesans, have themselves implanted in their characters the propensity which led to their unchastity. gluttony.--as a predisposing cause, the influence of dietetic habits should rank next to heredity. it is an observed fact that "all libertines are great eaters or famous gastronomists." the exciting influence upon the genital organs of such articles as pepper, mustard, ginger, spices, truffles, wine, and all alcoholic drinks, is well known. tea and coffee directly excite the animal passions through their influence upon the nerve centers controlling the sexual organs. when children are raised upon such articles, or upon food with which they are thoroughly mingled, what wonder that they occasionally "turn out bad"? how many mothers, while teaching their children the principles of virtue in the nursery, unwittingly stimulate their passions at the dinner table until vice becomes almost a physical necessity! nothing tends so powerfully to keep the passions in abeyance as a simple diet, free from condiments, especially when coupled with a generous amount of exercise. the influence of tobacco in leading to unchastity has been referred to in another connection. this is assuredly a not uncommon cause. when a boy places the first cigar or quid of tobacco to his lips, he takes--if he has not previously done so--the first step in the road to infamy; and if he adds wine or beer, he takes a short cut to the degradation of his manhood by the loss of virtue. precocious sexuality.--the causes of a too early development of sexual peculiarities, as manifested in infantile flirtations and early signs of sexual passion, were dwelt upon quite fully in a previous connection, and we need not repeat them here. certain it is that few things can be more dangerous to virtue than the premature development of those sentiments which belong only to puberty and later years. it is a most unnatural, but not uncommon, sight to see a girl of tender age evincing all those characters which mark the wanton of older years. man's lewdness.--it cannot be denied that men are in the greatest degree responsible for the "social evil." the general principle holds true here as elsewhere that the supply is regulated by the demand. if the patrons of prostitution should withdraw their support by a sudden acquisition of virtue, how soon would this vilest of traffics cease! the inmates of brothels would themselves become continent, if not virtuous, as the result of such a spasm of chastity in men. again, the ranks of fallen women, which are rapidly thinned by loathsome diseases and horrid deaths, are largely recruited from that class of unfortunates for whose fall faithless lovers or cunning, heartless libertines are chiefly responsible. the weak girl who, through too much trust, has been deceived and robbed of her dearest treasure, is disowned by relatives, shunned by her acquaintances, and turned out upon a cold world without money, without friends, without a character. what can she do? respectable employment she cannot find, for rumor follows her. there seems to be but one door open, the one which she herself so unintentionally opened. in despair, she enters the "open road to hell," and to her first sad error adds a life of shame. meanwhile, the villain who betrayed her still maintains his standing in society, and plies his arts to win another victim. is there not an unfair discrimination here? should not the seducer be blackened with an infamy at least as deep as that which society casts on the one betrayed? fashion.--the temptation of dress, fine clothing, costly jewelry, and all the extravagances with which rich ladies array themselves, is in many cases too powerful for the weakened virtue of poor seamstresses, operatives, and servant girls, who have seen so much of vice as to have lost that instinctive loathing for it which they may have once experienced. thinking to gain a life of ease, with means to gratify their love of show, they barter away their peace of mind for this world, all hope for the next, and only gain a little worthless tinsel, the scorn of their fellow-creatures, and a host of loathsome diseases. lack of early training.--it is needless to demonstrate a fact so well established as that the future character of an individual depends very largely upon his early training. if purity and modesty are taught from earliest infancy, the mind is fortified against the assaults of vice. if, instead, the child is allowed to grow up untrained, if the seeds of vice which are sure to fall sooner or later in the most carefully kept ground are allowed to germinate, if the first buds of evil are allowed to grow and unfold instead of being promptly nipped, it must not be considered remarkable that in later years rank weeds of sin should flourish in the soul and bear their hideous fruit in shameless lives. neglect to guard the avenues by which evil may approach the young mind, and to erect barriers against vice by careful instruction and a chaste example, leaves many innocent souls open to the assaults of evil, and an easy prey to lust. if children are allowed to get their training in the street, at the corner grocery, or hovering around saloons, they will be sure to develop a vigorous growth of the animal passions. the following extract is from the writings of one whose pen has been an inestimable blessing to american youth:-- "among the first lessons which boys learn of their fellows are impurities of language; and these are soon followed by impurities of thought.... when this is the training of boyhood, it is not strange that the predominating ideas among young men, in relation to the other sex, are too often those of impurity and sensuality.... we cannot be surprised, then, that the history of most young men is, that they yield to temptation in a greater or less degree and in different ways. with many, no doubt, the indulgence is transient, accidental, and does not become habitual. it does not get to be regarded as venial. it is never yielded to without remorse. the wish and the purpose are to resist; but the animal nature bears down the moral. still, transgression is always followed by grief and penitence. "with too many, however, it is to be feared, it is not so. the mind has become debauched by dwelling on licentious images, and by indulgence in licentious conversation. there is no wish to resist. they are not overtaken by temptation, for they seek it. with them the transgression becomes habitual, and the stain on the character is deep and lasting."[ ] [footnote : ware.] sentimental literature.--in another connection, we have referred particularly to the bawdy, obscene books and pictures which are secretly circulated among the youth of both sexes, and to their corrupting influence. the hope is not entirely a vain one that this evil may be controlled; but there seems no possible practicable remedy for another evil which ultimately leads to the same result, though by less gross and obscene methods. we refer to the sentimental literature which floods the land. city and school libraries, circulating libraries, and even sunday-school libraries, are full of books which, though they may contain good moral teaching, contain, as well, an element as incompatible with purity of morals as is light with midnight darkness. writers for children and youth seem to think a tale of "courtship, love, and matrimony" entirely indispensable as a medium for conveying their moral instruction. some of these "religious novels" are actually more pernicious than the fictions of well-known novelists who make no pretense to having religious instruction a particular object in view. sunday-school libraries are not often wholly composed of this class of works, but any one who takes the trouble to examine the books of such a library will be able to select the most pernicious ones by the external appearance. the covers will be well worn and the edges begrimed with dirt from much handling. children soon tire of the shallow sameness which characterizes the "moral" parts of most of these books, and skim lightly over them, selecting and devouring with eagerness those portions which relate the silly narrative of some love adventure. this kind of literature arouses in children premature fancies and queries, and fosters a sentimentalism which too often occasions most unhappy results. through their influence, young girls are often led to begin a life of shame long before their parents are aware that a thought of evil has ever entered their minds. the following words from the pen of a forcible writer[ ] present this matter in none too strong a light:-- "you may tear your coat or break a vase, and repair them again; but the point where the rip or fracture took place will always be evident. it takes less than an hour to do your heart a damage which no time can entirely repair. look carefully over your child's library; see what book it is that he reads after he has gone to bed, with the gas turned upon the pillow. do not always take it for granted that a book is good because it is a sunday-school book. as far as possible, know _who_ wrote it, who illustrated it, who published it, who sold it. "it seems that in the literature of the day the ten plagues of egypt have returned, and the frogs and lice have hopped and skipped over our parlor tables. "parents are delighted to have their children read, but they should be sure as to what they read. you do not have to walk a day or two in an infested district to get the cholera or typhoid fever; and one wave of moral unhealth will fever and blast the soul forever. perhaps, knowing not what you did, you read a bad book. do you not remember it altogether? yes! and perhaps you will never get over it. however strong and exalted your character, never read a bad book. by the time you get through the first chapter you will see the drift. if you find the marks of the hoofs of the devil in the pictures, or in the style, or in the plot, away with it. "but there is more danger, i think, from many of the family papers, published once a week, in those stories of vice and shame, full of infamous suggestions, going as far as they can without exposing themselves to the clutch of the law. i name none of them; but say that on some fashionable tables there lie 'family newspapers' that are the very vomit of the pit. "the way to ruin is cheap. it costs three dollars to go to philadelphia; six dollars to boston; thirty-three dollars to savannah; but, by the purchase of a bad paper for ten cents you may get a through ticket to hell, by express, with few stopping places, and the final halting like the tumbling of the lightning train down the draw-bridge at norwalk--sudden, terrific, deathful, never to rise." [footnote : t. de witt talmage.] poverty.--the pressing influence of poverty has been urged as one cause of prostitution. it cannot be denied that in many cases, in large cities, this may be the immediate occasion of the entrance of a young girl upon a life of shame; but it may still be insisted that there must have been, in such cases, a deficiency in previous training; for a young woman, educated with a proper regard for purity, would sooner sacrifice life itself than virtue. again, poverty can be no excuse, for in every city there are made provisions for the relief of the needy poor, and none who are really worthy need suffer. ignorance.--perhaps nothing fosters vice more than ignorance. prostitutes come almost entirely from the more ignorant classes, though there are, of course, many exceptions. among the lowest classes, vice is seen in its grossest forms, and is carried to the greatest lengths. intellectual culture is antagonistic to sensuality. as a general rule, in proportion as the intellect is developed, the animal passions are brought into subjection. it is true that very intellectual men have been great libertines, and that the licentious borgias and medicis of italy encouraged art and literature; but these are only apparent exceptions, for who knows to what greater depths of vice these individuals might have sunk had it not been for the restraining influence of mental culture? says deslandes, "in proportion as the intellect becomes enfeebled, the generative sensibility is augmented." the animal passions seem to survive when all higher intelligence is lost. we once saw an illustration of this fact in an idiot who was brought before a medical class in a clinic at bellevue hospital, new york. the patient had been an idiot from birth, and presented the most revolting appearance, seemingly possessing scarcely the intelligence of the average dog; but his animal propensities were so great as to be almost uncontrollable. indeed, he showed evidences of having been a gross debauchee, having contracted venereal disease of the worst form. the general prevalence of extravagant sexual excitement among the insane is a well-known fact. disease.--various diseases which cause local irritation and congestion of the reproductive organs are the causes of unchastity in both sexes, as previously explained. it not unfrequently happens that by constantly dwelling upon unchaste subjects until a condition of habitual congestion of the sexual organs is produced, young women become seized with a furor for libidinous commerce which nothing but the desired object will appease, unless active remedial measures are adopted under the direction of a skillful physician. this disease, known as _nymphomania_, has been the occasion of the fall of many young women of the better classes who have been bred in luxury and idleness, but were never taught even the first lessons of purity or self-control. constipation, piles, worms, pruritis of the genitals, and some other less common diseases of the urinary and genital systems, have been causes of sexual excitement which has resulted in moral degradation. results of licentiousness.--apparently as a safeguard to virtue, nature has appended to the sin of illicit sexual indulgence, as penalties, the most loathsome, deadly, and incurable diseases known to man. some of these, as _gonorrhea_ and _chancroid_, are purely local diseases; and though they occasion the transgressor a vast amount of suffering, they may be cured and leave no trace of their presence except in the conscience of the individual. such a result, however, is by no means the usual one. most frequently, the injury done is more or less permanent; sometimes it amounts to loss of life or serious mutilation, as in cases we have seen. and one attack secures no immunity from subsequent ones, as a new disease may be contracted upon every exposure. by far the worst form of venereal disease is _syphilis_, a malady which was formerly confounded with the two forms of disease mentioned, but from which it is essentially different. at first, a very slight local lesion, of no more consequence--except from its significance--than a small boil, it rapidly infects the general system, poisoning the whole body, and liable forever after to develop itself in any one or more of its protean forms. the most loathsome sight upon which a human eye can rest is a victim of this disease who presents it well developed in its later stages. in the large charity hospital upon blackwell's island, near new york city, we have seen scores of these unfortunates of both sexes, exhibiting the horrid disease in all its phases. to describe them would be to place before our readers a picture too revolting for these pages. no pen can portray the woebegone faces, the hopeless air, of these degraded sufferers whose repentance has come, alas! too late. no words can convey an adequate idea of their sufferings. what remorse and useless regrets add to the misery of their wretched existence as they daily watch the progress of a malignant ulceration which is destroying their organs of speech, or burrowing deep into the recesses of the skull, penetrating even to the brain itself! even the bones become rottenness; foul running sores appear on different portions of the body, and may even cover it entirely. perhaps the nose, or the tongue, or the lips, or an eye, or some other prominent organ, is lost. still the miserable sufferer lingers on, life serving only to prolong the torture. to many of them, death would be a grateful release, even with the fires of retributive justice before their eyes; for hell itself could scarcely be more awful punishment than that which they daily endure. thousands of victims.--the venturesome youth need not attempt to calm his fears by thinking that these are only exceptional cases, for this is not the truth. in any city, one who has an experienced eye can scarcely walk a dozen blocks on busy streets without encountering the woeful effects of sexual transgression. neither do these results come only from long-continued violations of the laws of chastity. the very first departure from virtue may occasion all the worst effects possible. effects of vice ineradicable.--another fearful feature of this terrible disease is that when once it invades the system its eradication is impossible. no drug, no chemical, can antidote its virulent poison or drive it from the system. various means may smother it, possibly for a life-time; but yet it is not cured, and the patient is never safe from a new outbreak. prof. bumstead, an acknowledged authority on this subject, after observing the disease for many years, says that "he never after treatment, however prolonged, promises immunity for the future."[ ] dr. van buren, professor of surgery at bellevue hospital medical college, new york, bears the same testimony. [footnote : venereal disease.] prof. van buren also says that he has often seen the disease occur upon the lips of young ladies who were entirely virtuous, but who were engaged to men who had contracted the disease and had communicated it to them by the act of kissing. virtuous wives have not infrequently had their constitutions hopelessly ruined by contracting the disease from husbands who had themselves been inoculated either before or after marriage, by illicit intercourse. several such unfortunate cases have fallen under our observation, and there is reason to believe that they are not infrequent. the only hope.--the only hope for one who has contracted this disease is to lead a life of perfect continence ever after, and by a most careful life, by conforming strictly to the laws of health, by bathing and dieting, he may possibly avoid the horrid consequences of the later stages of the malady. mercury will not cure, nor will any other poison, as before remarked. the following strong testimony on this subject we quote from an admirable pamphlet by prof. fred. h. gerrish, m.d.:-- "the diseases dependent upon prostitution are appallingly frequent, a distinguished surgeon recently declaring that one person in twenty in the united states has syphilis, a malady so ineradicable that a profound observer has remarked that 'a man who is once thus poisoned will die a syphilitic, and, in the day of judgment, he will be a syphilitic ghost.' prof. gross says: 'what is called scrofula, struma, or tuberculosis, is, i have long been satisfied from careful observation of the sick and a profound study of the literature of the subject, in a great majority of cases, if not invariably, merely syphilis in its more remote stages.' though there are doubtless many of us who believe that a not inconsiderable proportion of scrofulous and phthisical cases are clearly due to other causes than syphilis, we must admit that this statement contains a very large element of truth." hereditary effects of venereal disease.--the transgressor is not the only sufferer. if he marries, his children, if they survive infancy, will in later years show the effects of their father's sin, exhibiting the forms of the disease seen in its later stages. scrofula, consumption, cancer, rickets, diseases of the brain and nerves, decay of the bones by caries or necrosis, and other diseases, arise in this way. but it generally happens that the child dies before birth, or lingers out a miserable existence of a few days or weeks thereafter. a most pitiable sight these little ones are. their faces look as old as children of ten or twelve. often their bodies become reduced before death to the most wretched skeletons. their hollow, feeble cry sends a shudder of horror through the listener, and impresses indelibly the terrible consequences of sexual sin. plenty of these scrawny infants may be seen in the lying-in hospitals. no one can estimate how much of the excessive mortality of infants is owing to this cause. in children who survive infancy, its blighting influence may be seen in the notched, deformed teeth, and other defects; and very often it will be found, upon looking into the mouth of the child, that the soft palate, and perhaps the hard palate as well, is in a state of ulceration. there is more than a suspicion that this disease may be transmitted for several generations, perhaps remaining latent during the life-time of one, and appearing in all its virulence in the next. man the only transgressor.--man is the only animal that abuses his sexual organization by making it subservient to other ends than reproduction; hence he is the only sufferer from this foul disease, which is one of the penalties of such abuse. attempts have been made to communicate the disease to lower animals, but without success, even though inoculation was practiced. origin of the foul disease.--where or when the disease originated, is a mystery. it is said to have been introduced into france from naples by french soldiers. that it originated spontaneously at some time can scarcely be doubted, and that it might originate under circumstances of excessive violation of the laws of chastity is rendered probable by the fact that gonorrhea, or an infectious disease exactly resembling it, is often caused by excessive indulgence, from which cause it not infrequently occurs in the newly married, giving rise to unjust suspicion of infidelity on both sides. read the following from a noted french physician:-- "the father, as well as the mother, communicates the syphilitic virus to the children. these poor little beings are attacked sometimes at their birth; more often it is at the end of a month or two, before these morbid symptoms appear. "i recall the heart-rending anguish of a mother whom i assisted at her fifth confinement. she related to me her misfortune: 'i have already brought into the world four children. alas! they all died during the first months of their existence. a frightful eruption wasted them away and killed them. save me the one that is about to be born!' cried she, in tears. the child that i delivered was sickly and puny. a few days after its birth, it had purulent ophthalmia; then, crusted and ulcerated pustules, a few at first, numerous afterward, covered the entire surface of the skin. soon this miserable little being became as meager as a skeleton, hideous to the sight, and died. having questioned the husband, he acknowledged to me that he had had syphilis."[ ] [footnote : bourgeois.] cure of the "social evil."--with rare exceptions, the efforts of civil legislation have been directed toward controlling or modifying this vice, rather than extirpating it. among other devices adopted with a view to effect this, and to mitigate in some degree the resulting evils, the issuing of licenses for brothels has been practiced in several large cities. one of the conditions of the license makes it obligatory upon the keepers of houses of ill-repute and their inmates to submit to medical examination at stated intervals. by this means, it is expected to detect the cases of foul disease at the outset, and thus to protect others by placing the infected individuals under restraint and treatment. it will be seen that for many reasons such examinations could not be effective; but, even if they were, the propriety of this plan of dealing with the vice is exceedingly questionable, as will appear from the following considerations:-- . the moment that prostitution is placed under the protection of law by means of a license, it at once loses half its disrepute, and becomes respectable, as do gambling and liquor-selling under the same circumstances. . why should so vile a crime as fornication be taken under legal protection more than stealing or the lowest forms of gambling? is it not a lesser crime against human nature to rob a man of his money by theft or by deceit and trickery than to snatch from him at one fell swoop his health, his virtue, and his peace of mind? why not as well have laws to regulate burglary and assassination, allowing the perpetrators of those crimes to ply their chosen avocations with impunity under certain prescribed restrictions; if robbery, for instance, requiring the thief to leave his victim money enough to make his escape to another country; or, if murder, directing the assassin to allow his intended victim time to repeat a sufficient number of _ave marias_ to insure his safe transit through purgatory or to pay a priest for doing the same? such a course would not be inconsistent with the policy which legalizes that infamous traffic in human souls, prostitution. . by the use of certain precautionary measures the fears of many will be allayed, so that thousands whose fear of the consequences of sin would otherwise have kept them physically virtuous, at least, erroneously supposing that the cause for fear has been removed, will rush madly into a career of vice, and will learn only too late the folly of their course. prevention the only cure.--those who have once entered upon a career of sensuality are generally so completely lost to all sense of purity and right that there is little chance for reforming them. they have no principle to which to appeal. the gratification of lust so degrades the soul and benumbs the higher sensibilities that a votary of voluptuousness is a most unpromising subject for reformatory efforts. the old adage that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure is strikingly exemplified in this case. the remedy must be applied before the depths have been reached. it was well said by a celebrated physician to a young man beginning a life of vice, "you are entering upon a career from which you will never turn back." early training.--the remedy, to be effective, must be applied early, the earlier the better. lessons on chastity may be given in early infancy. the remedy may be applied even further back than this; children must be virtuously generated. the bearing of this point will be fully appreciated in connection with the principles established in the preceding pages of this work, and which have already been sufficiently elucidated. children should be early taught to reverence virtue, to abhor lust; and boys should be so trained that they will associate with the name of woman only pure, chaste, and noble thoughts. few things are more deeply injurious to the character of woman, and more conducive to the production of foul imaginations in children, than the free discussion of such subjects as the "beecher scandal" and like topics. the inquisitive minds and lively imaginations of childhood penetrate the rotten mysteries of such foul subjects at a much earlier age than many persons imagine. the inquiring minds of children will be occupied in some way, and it is of the utmost importance that they should be early filled with thoughts that will lead them to noble and pure actions. teach self-control.--one important part of early training is the cultivation of self-control, and a habit of self-denial, whenever right demands it. another most essential part of a child's moral training is the cultivation of right motives. to present a child no higher motives for doing right than the hope of securing some pleasant reward, or the fear of suffering some terrible punishment, is the surest way to make of him a supremely selfish man, with no higher aim than to secure good to himself, no matter what may become of other people. and if he can convince himself that the pleasure he will secure by the commission of a certain act will more than counterbalance the probable risk of suffering, he will not hesitate to commit it, leaving wholly out of the consideration the question, is it right? or noble? or pure? a love of right for its own sake is the only solid basis upon which to build a moral character. children should not be taught to do right in order to avoid a whipping, or imprisonment in a dark closet,--a horrid kind of punishment sometimes resorted to,--or even to escape "the lake of fire and brimstone." neither should they be constantly coaxed to right-doing by promised rewards,--a new toy, a book, an excursion, nor even the pleasures of heaven. all of these incentives are selfish, and invariably narrow the character and belittle life when made the _chief_ motives of action. but rather begin at the earliest possible moment to instill into the mind a love for right, and truth, and purity, and virtue, and an abhorrence for their contraries; then will he have a worthy principle by which to square his life; then will he be safe from the assaults of passion, of vice, of lust. a mind so trained stands upon an eminence from which all evil men and devils combined cannot displace it so long as it adheres to its noble principles. mental culture.--the cultivation of the physical organization must not be neglected. healthful mental discipline should receive equal attention. by healthful mental discipline is not meant that kind of superficial "cramming" and memorizing which constitute the training of the average school, but sound culture; a directing of the mind from facts to underlying principles; a development of the reasoning powers so as to bring the emotions and passions into subjection; the acquirement of the power to concentrate the mind, one of the best methods of cultivating self-control,--these are some of the objects and results of sound culture of the mind. to supply the mind with food for pure thoughts, the child should be early inspired with a love for nature. the perceptives should be trained, the child taught to observe closely and accurately. the study of the natural sciences is a most valuable means of elevating the mind above grossness and sensuality. to be successful in this direction, parents must cultivate a love for the same objects themselves. take the little ones into the country, if they are not so fortunate as to live there, and in the midst of nature's glories, point their impressible minds upward to the author of all the surrounding loveliness. gather flowers and leaves and call attention to the peculiarities and special beauties of each, and thus arouse curiosity and cultivate habits of close observation and attention. early associations.--as children grow older, watch their associations. warn them of evil influences and evil practices. make home so attractive that they will enjoy it better than any other place. cultivate music; its mellowing, harmonizing, refining influence is too great to be prudently withheld. children naturally love music; and if they cannot hear it at home, they will go where they can hear it. supply attractive books of natural history, travels, interesting and instructive biographies, and almost any other books but love-sick novels, and sentimental religious story-books. guard against bad books and bad associates as carefully as though they were deadly serpents, for they are, indeed, the artful emissaries of the "old serpent" himself. a taste once formed for reading light literature destroys the relish for solid reading; and usually the taste, once lost, is never regained. the fascination of bad companionship once formed around a person is broken with the greatest difficulty. hence the necessity for watching for the very beginnings of evil and promptly checking them. the mind should be thus fortified against the trifles and follies of fashionable life. it should be elevated into a sphere far above that occupied by those who pass their time in fashionable drawing-rooms in silly twaddle, with thrumming a piano, with listless day-dreaming, or in the gratification of perverted tastes and depraved instincts in any other of the ways common to fashionable life. solitary vice. if illicit commerce of the sexes is a heinous sin, self-pollution, or masturbation, is a crime doubly abominable. as a sin against nature, it has no parallel except in sodomy (see gen. : , judges : ). it is the most dangerous of all sexual abuses, because the most extensively practiced. the vice consists in any excitement of the genital organs produced otherwise than in the natural way. it is known by the terms, self-pollution, self-abuse, masturbation, onanism, manustupration, voluntary pollution, solitary or secret vice, and other names sufficiently explanatory. the vice is the more extensive because there are no bounds to its indulgence. its frequent repetition fastens it upon the victim with a fascination almost irresistible. it may be begun in earliest infancy, and may continue through life. even though no warning may have been given, the transgressor seems to know, instinctively, that he is committing a great wrong, for he carefully hides his practice from observation. in solitude he pollutes himself, and with his own hand blights all his prospects for both this world and the next. even after being solemnly warned, he will often continue this worse than beastly practice, deliberately forfeiting his right to health and happiness for a moment's mad sensuality. alarming prevalence of the vice.--the habit is by no means confined to boys; girls also indulge in it, though, it is to be hoped, to a less fearful extent than boys, at least in this country. a russian physician, quoted by an eminent medical professor in new york, states that the habit is universal among girls in russia. it seems impossible that such a statement should be credible; and yet we have not seen it contradicted. it is more than probable that the practice is far more nearly universal everywhere than even medical men are willing to admit. many young men who have been addicted to the vice, have, in their confessions, declared that they found it universal in the schools in which they learned the practice. dr. gardner speaks of it as "the secret cause of much that is perverting the energies and demoralizing the minds of many of our fairest and best." he further says:-- "much of the worthlessness, lassitude, and physical and mental feebleness attributable to the modern woman are to be ascribed to these habits as their initial cause." "foreigners are especially struck with this fact as the cause of much of the physical disease of our young women. they recognize it in the physique, in the sodden, colorless countenance, the lack-luster eye, in the dreamy indolence, the general carriage, the constant demeanor indicative of distrust, mingled boldness and timidity, and a series of anomalous combinations which mark this genus of physical and moral decay." the extent to which the vice is practiced by an individual is in some cases appalling. three or four repetitions of the act daily are not uncommon; and the following from dr. copland is evidence of much deeper depravity:-- "there can be no doubt that the individual who has once devoted himself to this moloch of the species becomes but too frequently its slave to an almost incredible degree. a patient who was sent to london for my advice confessed that he had practiced this vice seven or eight times daily from the age of thirteen until twenty-four; and he was then reduced to the lowest state of mental weakness, associated with various bodily infirmities; indeed, both mental power and physical existence were nearly extinguished." testimony of eminent authors.--says a medical writer, "in my opinion, neither the plague, nor war, nor small-pox, nor similar diseases, have produced results so disastrous to humanity as the pernicious habit of onanism; it is the destroying element of civilized societies, which is constantly in action, and gradually undermines the health of a nation." "the sin of self-pollution, which is generally considered to be that of onan, is one of the most destructive evils ever practiced by fallen man. in many respects it is several degrees worse than common whoredom, and has in its train more awful consequences, though practiced by numbers who would shudder at the thought of criminal connection with a prostitute."[ ] [footnote : dr. adam clarke.] "however revolting to the feelings it may be to enter upon such a subject, it cannot be passed over in silence without a great violation of duty. unhappily, it has not been hitherto exhibited in the awful light in which it deserves to be shown. _the worst of it is that it is seldom suspected._ there are many pale faces and languid and nervous feelings attributed to other causes, when all the mischief lies here."[ ] [footnote : sir w. c. ellis.] we scarcely need add further evidence of the fearful extent of this evil, but will conclude with the following:-- "the pernicious and debasing practice of masturbation is a more common and extensive evil with youth of both sexes than is usually supposed." "a great number of the evils which come upon the youth at and after the age of puberty, arise from masturbation, persisted in, so as to waste the vital energies and enervate the physical and mental powers of man." "many of the weaknesses commonly attributed to growth and the changes in the habit by the important transformation from adolescence to manhood, are justly referable to this practice."[ ] [footnote : boston medical and surgical journal.] not a modern vice.--that this vice is not entirely a modern one is proved by the fact that in many ancient writings directions are given for treating its effects. even moses seems to have recognized disorders of this class. hippocrates and others devoted considerable attention to them. victims of all ages.--the ages at which the habit may be practiced include almost the whole extent of human life. we have seen it in infants of only three or four years, and in old men scarcely less than sixty, in both extremes marked by the most unmistakable and lamentable consequences. cases have been noted in which the practice was begun as early as two years of age. it is common among african boys at nine and ten years of age, according to dr. copland. unsuspected rottenness.--parents who have no suspicion of the evil, who think their children the embodiment of purity, will find by careful observation and inquiry,--though personal testimony cannot be relied upon,--that in numerous instances their supposed virtuous children are old in corruption. such a revelation has brought dismay into many a family, only too late in some cases. not long since a case came under our care which well illustrates the apathy and blindness of parents with respect to this subject. the parents of a young man whose mind seemed to be somewhat disordered, sent word to us through a friend respecting his condition, asking advice. we suspected from the symptoms described the real cause of the disease, and urged prompt attention to the case. in a short time the young man was placed under our immediate care without encouragement of a cure, and we gave the case still closer study. the characteristic symptoms of disease from self-abuse were marked, but the father was positive that no influence of that kind could have been at work. he had watched his son narrowly from infancy, and did not believe it possible for him to have been guilty. in addition, the young man had long been remarkable for his piety, and he did not believe there could be any possibility of his being guilty of so gross a crime. a short time sufficed, however, to secure the indisputable evidence of the fact by his being caught in the act by his nurse. this young man was a sad example of what havoc is made with the "human form divine" by this debasing vice. once a bright boy, kind, affectionate, active, intelligent, the pride of a loving mother and the hope of a doting father, his mind had sunken to driveling idiocy. his vacant stare and expressionless countenance betokened almost complete imbecility. if allowed to do so, he would remain for hours in whatever position his last movement left him. if his hand was raised, it remained extended until placed in a position of rest by his attendant. only with the utmost difficulty could he be made to rise in the morning, to eat, drink, or walk. only by great efforts could he be aroused from his lethargy sufficiently to answer the most simple question. the instinctive demands of decency in regarding the calls of nature were not respected. in short, the distinguishing characteristics of a human being were almost wholly obliterated, leaving but a physical semblance of humanity; a mind completely wrecked, a body undergoing dissolution while yet alive, a blasted life, no hope for this world, no prospect for the next. in the insane asylums of the country may be seen hundreds of these poor victims in all stages of physical and mental demoralization. causes of the habit.--it is needless to recapitulate all the causes of unchastity which have previously been quite fully dwelt upon, nearly all of which are predisposing or exciting causes of solitary as well as of social vice. sexual precocity, idleness, pernicious literature, abnormal sexual passions, exciting and irritating food, gluttony, sedentary employment, libidinous pictures, and many abnormal conditions of life, are potent causes in exciting the vile practice; but by far the most frequent causes are evil associations, wicked or ignorant nurses, and local disease, or abnormality. these latter we will consider more particularly, as they have not been so fully dwelt upon elsewhere. evil associations.--a child may have been reared with the greatest care. from infancy he may have been carefully shielded from all pernicious influences, so that at the age of ten or twelve, when he is for the first time sent away to school, he may be free from vice; but when he associates with his fellow-students, he soon finds them practicing a habit new to him, and being unwarned, he speedily follows their filthy example and quickly becomes fascinated with the vice. thousands have taken their first lessons in this debasing habit at school. teachers and scholars testify that it is often practiced even in school hours, almost under the teacher's eyes; but where the infection most quickly spreads is in the sleeping apartments, where more than one occupy the same bed, or where several sleep in the same room. nothing is more indispensable to purity of body and of morals than a private sleeping room and single bed for each student. such an arrangement would protect the youth from the reception of much evil, and would allow an opportunity for privacy which every young man or youth needs for his spiritual as well as physical benefit. not the least benefit of the latter class is the opportunity for a thorough cleansing of the whole body every morning, which is almost as indispensable to purity of morals as cleanliness of body. the same suggestion is fully as applicable to the sleeping arrangements of girls. the exceptional cases in which this plan would not be the best are very few indeed. corruption in schools.--says dr. acton, "i cannot venture to print the accounts patients have given me of what they have seen or even been drawn into at schools. i would fain hope that such abominations are things of the past." the entrance of a single corrupt boy into a school which may have been previously pure--though such schools must be extremely rare--will speedily corrupt almost the entire membership. the evil infection spreads more rapidly than the contagion of small-pox or yellow fever, and it is scarcely less fatal. this danger exists not in public or city schools alone, but in the most select and private schools. a father who had kept his two sons under the care of a private governess for several years, and then placed them in a small school taught by a lady, and composed of a few small children from the most select families, was greatly astonished when informed by a physician that his sons showed symptoms of the effects of self-abuse. he was totally incredulous; but an investigation showed that they had already practiced the vile habit for several years, having learned it of an infantile school-mate. we were acquainted with one instance in which a primary school in a secluded and select community was nearly broken up by the introduction of this vile habit through a corrupt student. many a watchful teacher has seen the light of growing intelligence suddenly dim and wane in the eye of his favorite student just when he was giving the most promise of developing unusual talents in literature, mathematics, or some one of the natural or physical sciences, and has been compelled to watch the devastating influence of this deadly upas tree that often claims the best and fairest human flowers as its victims. wicked nurses.--in those cases in which the habit is acquired at a very early age, the work of evil is usually wrought by the nurse, perhaps through ignorance of the effects of the habit. incredible as it seems, it is proved by numerous instances that it is not an uncommon habit for nurses to quiet small children by handling or titillating their genital organs. they find this a speedy means of quieting them, and resort to it regardless or ignorant of the consequences. not an uncommon case.--prof. lusk, of bellevue hospital college, new york, related to his medical class in our hearing a case which came under his observation in which all of the children in a large family had been taught the habit by a wicked nurse for the purpose of keeping them quiet after they were put to bed. the vileness that would lead a person to thus rob childhood of its innocence, and blast its prospects for this life and the next, is base enough for the commission of almost any crime. indeed, the crime could hardly have been a worse one had the nurse referred to in the above case in cold blood cut the throats of those innocent children; perhaps it might have been better for the children. a gentleman once declared that if he should detect a person teaching this crime to his child he would shoot him on the spot; and if homicide is allowable under any circumstances, it seems to us it would be extenuated by such an aggravation. if occasional bad associations will work an immense damage to the youthful character, what terrible injury may be wrought by an agent of sin, an instructor in vice, who is within the household, who presides in the nursery, and exerts a constant influence! no one can estimate it. acton remarks on this point, "i need hardly point out how very dangerous this is. there seems hardly any limit to the age at which a young child can be initiated into these abominations, or to the depth of degradation to which it may fall under such hideous teaching. books treating of this subject are unfortunately too full of accounts of the habits of such children." in not a few instances the "hired man" has been the means of communicating to innocent little boys the infamous knowledge which, fortunately, they had not acquired in babyhood. with no knowledge of the evil they are committing, they begin the work of physical damnation which makes a hell of life and leads to endless death. the "hired girl" is often an equally efficient agent for evil in the instruction of little girls in this debasing vice. some time ago, the very intelligent parents of a bright family of children were awakened to the importance of this subject from the perusal of the first edition of this work, and upon investigation were horrified to find that their oldest child a promising daughter of ten, was already a victim to the vile practice, having been initiated by a "hired girl." after using in vain every means he could bring to bear upon the case, the father brought her to us, and with tears in his eyes gave his story. after telling of his unsuccessful attempts to effect a reform, he declared that he would far prefer to place his daughter in the grave than to see her grow up a wretched victim of this vice. we were most happy to be able, after a few weeks' treatment, to restore her to her parents, as we hope, permanently reformed. not a few such cases are constantly coming to the attention of the medical profession. the instructor in vice.--are these lines perused by any one who has ever taught another this vice so vile, and so certainly followed by penalties so terrible--penalties not upon the instigator but upon the hapless victim? let such a person clothe himself in sackcloth and ashes, and do penance for the remainder of his life. the only way in which he can hope to atone even in some small degree for such a heinous crime, is by doing all in his power to warn those in danger against this sin. when all men receive their just deserts, what will be the punishment of such a one who has not, by thorough repentance and a life spent in trying to undo the work of ruin so foully wrought, in some measure disburdened himself of the consequences of his act! sending children very early to bed before they are weary, "to get them out of the way," or for punishment, is a grave error, as this may give rise to the vice. confining children alone in a room by themselves is an equally reprehensible practice, as it favors the commission of the act, at least, and may afford a favorable opportunity for its discovery. allowing children to form a habit of seeking solitude is an evil of the same nature. local disease.--in the male, a tight or long foreskin is a frequent cause of the habit. the constant contact of the prepuce with the most sensitive part of the organ increases its sensibility. the secretion is retained, and accumulates, often becoming hardened. in this manner irritation is set up, which occasions uncomfortable feelings, and attracts the hands to the part. owing to the great degree of excitement due to irritation, but a slight provocation is necessary to arouse voluptuous sensations, and then the terrible secret is revealed. the child readily discovers how to reproduce the same, and is not slow to commit a frequent repetition of the act; and thus the habit is formed. an illustrative case.--a case in which the vice originated in this manner was recently under our observation. the patient was a man of considerable intellectual power and some culture, but showed unmistakable signs of his early indiscretion. he stated that although he mingled quite freely with other boys of his age, he obtained no knowledge of the habit from others. he often heard allusions which he did not understand, and of which he did not, fortunately, discover the meaning. but he was afflicted with congenital _phimosis_, the prepuce being so tight that retraction was impossible. this, together with urinal irritation,--which occasioned nocturnal incontinence of urine,--constipation, and highly seasoned food, produced so much local irritation as to occasion frequent erections, and an increased secretion. he soon noticed that there was an accumulation of hardened secretion beneath the foreskin, and in attempting to remove this, he accidentally provoked voluptuous sensations. he speedily abandoned himself to the habit, often repeating it several times a day. beginning at the age of twelve years, he continued it for three or four years. soon after acquiring the habit, he became aware of its tendencies, through reading books upon the subject, but he found himself so completely enslaved that abstinence seemed impossible. one resolution to reform after another was formed, only to be speedily broken. his unwholesome diet, habitual constipation, and especially the unfortunate organic difficulty in his genital organs, produced an almost constant priapism, which was only relieved, and then but temporarily, by the act of pollution. his sedentary habits increased the difficulty to an extreme degree. in the meantime, his constitution, naturally weak, was being gradually undermined. he suffered from constant headache, heart-burn, pains in the back and limbs, weakness, and lassitude. yet he attributed none of these ailments to the true cause. after the lapse of three or four years thus spent, and after repeated ineffectual attempts, by a powerful effort of the will, by the aid of prayer, and by adopting a more wholesome diet, he succeeded in getting the mastery of his vice. but the local difficulties still continued in a great degree, and under particularly aggravating circumstances occasioned a relapse at long intervals. after a time, the local difficulties grew less and less, and enabled him to gain a complete victory over the habit, though the results of previous sin still remained, for which he desired treatment. this case will serve as a fair illustration of many of similar character, in which the child accidentally makes the discovery which leads him to work his own ruin. other physical causes.--constipation, piles, irritable bladder, fissure of the anus, local uncleanliness, and pruritis of the genital organs, will produce the habit in both males and females in the manner described. sleeping on feather beds increases the local congestion, and thus favors the exciting influences of any of the above-named causes. it may, perhaps, itself be the exciting cause. we once treated a patient who was affected with stone in the bladder, and who asserted that the constant irritation which he suffered in the end of the penis was only relieved by friction. this might readily be the cause of masturbation, though in this case the vice had been acquired many years before, and was still continued in spite of all efforts to reform. lying upon the back or upon the abdomen frequently leads to self-abuse by provoking sexual excitement. certain kinds of exercises, as climbing, in particular, have been attended by the same results. it is said that children sometimes experience genital excitement amounting to pleasure as the result of whipping. influence of stimulants.--the use of stimulants of any kind is a fruitful cause of the vice. tea and coffee have led thousands to perdition in this way. the influence of tobacco is so strongly shown in this direction that it is doubtful if there can be found a boy who has attained the age of puberty and has acquired the habit of using tobacco, who is not also addicted to this vile practice. candies, spices, cinnamon, cloves, peppermint, and all strong essences, powerfully excite the genital organs and lead to the same result. it should be further added that there is evidence that a powerful predisposition to this vice is transmitted to the children of those who have themselves been guilty of it. signs of self-abuse.--the net which this vice weaves around its victims is so strong, and its meshes are so elaborately interwoven with all his thoughts, his habits, and his very being, when it has been long indulged, that it is important to be able to detect it when first acquired, as it may then be much more easily overcome than at any subsequent period. it is often no easy matter to do this, as the victim will resort to all manner of cunning devices to hide his vice, and will not scruple to falsify concerning it, when questioned. to be able to accomplish this successfully, requires a careful study, first, of the signs by which those who indulge in the practice may be known, and, secondly, of the habits of the individuals. in considering the subject it will be found that there are two classes of signs, as follows:-- . those which may arouse suspicion, but any one of which, taken singly, would not be an evidence of the practice. . those which may be regarded as positive. several suspicious signs together may constitute a positive sign. under these two heads, we will consider the signs of this vile habit. it is well to bear in mind the fact that one or two suspicious signs are not evidence of the disease. it is likewise well to remember that the habit may be found where least looked for, and where one would have a right to expect perfect purity. prejudice must be allowed no voice upon either side. a writer has said that every young person under puberty ought to be suspected of the disease. we can hardly indorse this remark, in full, but it would be at least wise for every guardian of children to criticize most carefully their habits and to quickly detect the first indications of sinful practices. parents must not think that _their_ children, at least, are too good to engage in such sinful abuses. it is most probable that their children are very like those of their neighbors; and any amount of natural goodness is not a protection against this insidious vice when it presents itself as a harmless pleasure to the unwarned and ignorant child. suspicious signs.--the following symptoms, occurring in the mental and physical character and habits of a child or young person, may well give rise to grave suspicions of evil, and should cause parents or guardians to be on the alert to root it out if possible:-- . _general debility_, coming upon a previously healthy child, marked by emaciation, weakness, an unnatural paleness, colorless lips and gums, and the general symptoms of exhaustion, when it cannot be traced to any other legitimate cause, as internal disease, worms, grief, overwork, poor air or poor food, and when it is not speedily removed by change of air or appropriate remedial measures, may safely be attributed to solitary vice, no matter how far above natural suspicion the individual may be. mistakes will be rare indeed when such a judgment is pronounced under the circumstances named. . _early symptoms of consumption_--or what are supposed to be such--as cough, and decrease in flesh, with short breathing and soreness of the lungs--or muscles of the chest--are not infrequently, solely the result of this vice. that such is the case may be considered pretty surely determined if physical examination of the lungs reveals no organic disease of those organs. but it should be remembered that solitary vice is one of the most frequent causes of early consumption. several cases which strikingly prove this have fallen under our own observation. . _premature and defective development_ is a symptom closely allied to the two preceding. when it cannot be traced to such natural causes as overstudy, overwork, lack of exercise, and other influences of a similar nature, it should be charged to self-abuse. the early exercise of the genital organs hastens the attainment of puberty, in many cases, especially when the habit is acquired early, but at the same time saps the vital energies so that the system is unable to manifest that increased energy in growth and development which usually occurs at this period. in consequence, the body remains small, or does not attain that development which it otherwise would. the mind is dwarfed as well as the body. sometimes the mind suffers more than the body in lack of development, and sometimes the reverse is true. this defective development is shown, in the physical organization of males, in the failure of the voice to increase in volume and depth of tone as it should; in deficient growth of the beard; in failure of the chest to become full and the shoulders broad. the mind and character show the dwarfing influence by failure to develop those qualities which especially distinguish a noble manhood. in the female, defective development is shown by menstrual derangements, by defective growth either in stature, or as shown in unnatural slimness, and in a failure to develop the graces and pleasing character which should distinguish early womanhood. such signs deserve careful investigation, for they can only result from some powerfully blighting influence. . _sudden change in disposition_ is a sign which may well arouse suspicion. if a boy who has previously been cheerful, pleasant, dutiful, and gentle, suddenly becomes morose, cross, peevish, irritable, and disobedient, be sure that some foul influence is at work with him. when a girl, naturally joyous, happy, confiding, and amiable, becomes unaccountably gloomy, sad, fretful, dissatisfied, and unconfiding, be certain that a blight of no insignificant character is resting upon her. make a careful study of the habits of such children; and if there is no sudden illness to account for the change in their character, it need not require long deliberation to arrive at the true cause, for it will rarely be found to be anything other than solitary indulgence. . _lassitude_ is as unnatural for a child as for a young kitten. a healthy child will be active, playful, full of life and animal spirits. if a young child manifests indisposition to activity, a dislike for play, lifelessness and languor, suspect his habits, if there is no other reasonable cause to which to attribute his unnatural want of childish sprightliness. . in connection with the preceding symptom will generally be found, instead of that natural brilliance of expression in the eyes and countenance, an unnatural dullness and vacantness altogether foreign to childhood. this is a just ground for suspicion. . _sleeplessness_ is another symptom of significance. sound sleep is natural for childhood; and if sleeplessness be not occasioned by dietetic errors, as eating indigestible food, eating between meals, or eating late suppers, it may justly be a cause for suspicion of evil habits. . _failure of mental capacity_ without apparent cause should occasion suspicion of evil practices. when a child who has previously learned readily, mastered his lessons easily, and possessed a retentive memory, shows a manifest decline in these directions, fails to get his lessons, becomes stupid, forgetful, and inattentive, he has probably become the victim of a terrible vice, and is on the road to speedy mental as well as physical ruin. watch him. . _fickleness_ is another evidence of the working of some deteriorating influence, for only a weak mind is fickle. . _untrustworthiness_ appearing in a child should attract attention to his habits. if he has suddenly become heedless, listless, and forgetful, so that he cannot be depended upon, though previously not so, lay the blame upon solitary indulgence. this vice has a wonderful influence in developing untruthfulness. a child previously honest, under its baneful influence will soon become an inveterate liar. . _love of solitude_ is a very suspicious sign. children are naturally sociable, almost without exception. they have a natural dread of being alone. when a child habitually seeks seclusion without a sufficient cause, there are good grounds for suspecting him of sinful habits. the barn, the garret, the water-closet, and sometimes secluded places in the woods, are the favorite resorts of masturbators. they should be carefully followed and watched, unobserved. . _bashfulness_ is not infrequently dependent upon this cause. it would be far from right to say that every person who is excessively modest or timid is a masturbator; but there is a certain timorousness which seems to arise from a sense of shame or fear of discovery that many victims of this vice exhibit, and which may be distinguished from natural modesty by a little experience. one very common mode of manifestation of this timidity is the inability to look a superior, or any person who is esteemed pure, in the eye. if spoken to, instead of looking directly at the person to whom he addresses an answer, the masturbator looks to one side, or lets his eyes fall upon the ground, seemingly conscious that the eye is a wonderful tell-tale of the secrets of the mind. . _unnatural boldness_, in marked contrast with the preceding sign, is manifested by a certain class of victims. it can be as easily distinguished, however, as unnatural timidity. the individual seems to have not the slightest appreciation of propriety. he commits openly the most uncouth acts, if he does not manifest the most indecent unchastity of manner. when spoken to, he stares rudely at the person addressing him, often with a very unpleasant leer upon his countenance. in some few cases there seems to be a curious combination of conditions. while mentally fearful, timid, and hesitating, the individual finds himself, upon addressing a person, staring at him in the most ungainly manner. he is conscious of his ill manners, but is powerless to control himself. this sign is one which could hardly be of use to any except a very close observer, however, as few can read upon the countenance the operations of the mind. . _mock piety_--or perhaps we should more properly designate it as mistaken piety--is another peculiar manifestation of the effects of this vicious practice. the victim is observed to become transformed, by degrees, from a romping, laughing child, full of hilarity and frolic, to a sober and very sedate little--christian, the friends think, and they are highly gratified with the piety of the child. little do they suspect the real cause of the solemn face; not the slightest suspicion have they of the foul orgies practiced by the little sinner. by the aid of friends he may soon add hypocrisy to his other crimes, and find in assumed devotion a ready pretense for seeking solitude. parents will do well to investigate the origin of this kind of religion in their children. . _easily frightened_ children are abundant among young masturbators, though all easily frightened persons are not vicious. it is certain, however, that the vice greatly exaggerates natural fear, and creates an unnatural apprehensiveness. the victim's mind is constantly filled with vague forebodings of evil. he often looks behind him, looks into all the closets, peeps under the bed, and is constantly expressing fears of impending evil. such movements are the result of a diseased imagination, and they may justly give rise to suspicion. . _confusion of ideas_ is another characteristic of the devotee of this artful vice. if he attempts to argue, his points are not clearly made. he may be superficially quick and cute, but is incapable of deep thought, or abstruse reasoning; is often very dull of apprehension. ideas are not presented in logical order, but seem to fall out promiscuously, and fairly represent the condition of a disordered brain. attempts at joking are generally failures, as the jest is sure to be inappropriate or vulgar, and no one but himself sees any occasion for laughter except at his stupidity. such individuals are not scarce. . boys in whom the habit has become well developed sometimes manifest a decided aversion to the society of girls; but this is not nearly so often the case as some authors seem to indicate. it would rather appear that the opposite is more often true. girls usually show an increasing fondness for the society of boys, and are very prone to exhibit marked evidences of real wantonness. . _round shoulders_ and a stooping posture in sitting are characteristics of young masturbators of both sexes. whenever a child seats himself, the head and shoulders droop forward, giving to the spine a curved appearance. . _weak backs, pains in the limbs, and stiffness of the joints_, in children, are familiar signs of the habit. to the first of these conditions is due the habitual stooping posture assumed by these children. the habit referred to is not the only cause of these conditions, but its causative occurrence is sufficiently frequent to give it no small importance as a suspicious indication. . _paralysis_ of the lower extremities, coming on without apparent cause, is not infrequently the result of solitary indulgence, even in very small children. we have seen several cases in which this condition was traced to the habit of masturbation, in children under six years of age. . the _gait_ of a person addicted to this vice will usually betray him to one who has learned to distinguish the peculiarities which almost always mark the walk of such persons. in a child, a dragging, shuffling walk is to be suspected. boys, in walking rapidly, show none of that elasticity which characterizes a natural gait, but walk as if they had been stiffened in the hips, and as though their legs were pegs attached to the body by hinges. the girl wriggles along in a style quite as characteristic, though more difficult to detect with certainty, as females are often so "affected" in their walk. unsteadiness of gait is an evidence seen in both sexes, especially in advanced cases. . _bad positions_ in bed are evidences which should be noticed. if a child lies constantly upon its abdomen, or is often found with its hands about the genitals, it may be at least considered in a fair way to acquire the habit if it has not already done so. . _lack of development of the breasts_ in females, after puberty, is a common result of self-pollution. still it would be entirely unsafe to say that every female with small mammary glands had been addicted to this vice, especially at the present time when a fair natural development is often destroyed by the constant pressure and heat of "pads." but this sign may well be given a due bearing. . _capricious appetite_ particularly characterizes children addicted to secret vice. at the commencement of the practice, they almost invariably manifest great voracity for food, gorging themselves in the most gluttonous manner. as the habit becomes fixed, digestion becomes impaired, and the appetite is sometimes almost wanting, and at other times almost unappeasable. . one very constant peculiarity of such children is their extreme fondness for unnatural, hurtful, and irritating articles. nearly all are greatly attached to salt, pepper, spices, cinnamon, cloves, vinegar, mustard, horse-radish, and similar articles, and use them in most inordinate quantities. a boy or girl who is constantly eating cloves or cinnamon, or who will eat salt in quantities without other food, gives good occasion for suspicion. . _eating clay, slate-pencils, plaster, chalk,_ and other indigestible articles is a practice to which girls who abuse themselves are especially addicted. the habit sometimes becomes developed to such a wonderful extent that the victims almost rival the clay-eaters of the amazon in gratifying their propensity. . disgust for simple food is one of the traits which a victim of this vice is sure to possess. he seems to loathe any food which is not rendered hot and stimulating with spices and other condiments, and cannot be induced to eat it. . _the use of tobacco_ is good presumptive evidence that a boy is also addicted to a practice still more filthy. exceptions to this rule are very rare indeed, if they exist, which we somewhat doubt. the same influences which would lead a boy to the use of tobacco would also lead him to solitary vice, and each sin would serve to exaggerate the other. . _unnatural paleness_ and colorless lips, unless they can be otherwise accounted for, may be attributed to secret sin. the face is a great tell-tale against this class of sinners. justice demands, however, that an individual should be given the benefit of a doubt so long as there is a chance for the production of these symptoms by any other known cause, as overwork, mental anxiety, or dyspepsia. . _acne_, or _pimples_, on the face are also among the suspicious signs, especially when they appear upon the forehead as well as upon other portions of the face. occasional pimples upon the chin are very common in both sexes at puberty and for a few years afterward, but are without significance, except that the blood may be somewhat gross from unwholesome diet or lack of exercise. . _biting the finger nails_ is a practice very common in girls addicted to this vice. in such persons there will also be found, not infrequently, slight soreness or ulceration at the roots of the nails, and warts, one or more, upon one or both the first two fingers of the hand--usually the right. . the eyes often betray much. if, in addition to want of luster and natural brilliancy, they are sunken, present red edges, are somewhat sore, perhaps, and are surrounded by a dark ring, the patient, especially if a child, should be suspected and carefully watched. it should be observed, however, that dyspepsia, debility from any cause, and especially loss of sleep, will produce some or all of these signs, and no one should be accused of the vice upon the evidence of these indications alone, neither could he be justly suspected so long as his symptoms could be accounted for by legitimate causes. . an habitually moist, cold hand, is a suspicious circumstance in a young person who is not known to be suffering from some constitutional disease. . _palpitation of the heart_, frequently occurring, denotes a condition of nervous disturbance which has some powerful cause, and which may often be found to be the vice in question. . _hysteria_ in females may be regarded as a suspicious circumstance when frequently occurring on very slight occasions, and especially if there is no hereditary tendency to the disease. . _chlorosis_, or _green sickness_, is very often caused by the unholy practice under consideration. it is very commonly attributed, when occurring in young women, to menstrual derangements; but it is only necessary to remember that these menstrual irregularities are in many cases the result of the same habit, as has been already pointed out. . _epileptic fits_ in children are not infrequently the result of vicious habits. . _wetting the bed_ is an evidence of irritation which may be connected with the practice; it should be looked after. . _unchastity of speech_ and fondness for obscene stories betray a condition of mind which does not exist in youth who are not addicted to this vice. as previously remarked, no single one of the above signs should be considered as conclusive evidence of the habit in any individual; but any one of them may, and should, arouse suspicion and watchfulness. if the habit really exists, but a short time will elapse before other signs will be noticed, and when several point in the same direction, the evidence may be considered nearly, if not quite, conclusive. but persistent watching will enable the positive signs to be detected sooner or later, and then there can no longer be doubt. it is, of course, necessary to give the individual no suspicion that he is being watched, as that would put him so effectually on his guard as, possibly, to defy detection. positive signs.--the absolutely positive signs of solitary vice are very few. of course the most certainly positive of all is detection in the act. sometimes this is difficult, with such consummate cunning do the devotees of this moloch pursue their debasing practice. if a child is noticed to seek a certain secluded spot with considerable regularity, he should be carefully followed and secretly watched, for several days in succession if need be. many children pursue the practice at night after retiring. if the suspected one is observed to become very quickly quiet after retiring, and when looked at appears to be asleep, the bedclothes should be quickly thrown off under some pretense. if, in the case of a boy, the penis is found in a state of erection, with the hands near the genitals, he may certainly be treated as a masturbator without any error. if he is found in a state of excitement, in connection with the other evidences, with a quickened circulation as indicated by the pulse, or in a state of perspiration, his guilt is certain, even though he may pretend to be asleep; no doubt he has been addicted to the vice for a considerable time to have acquired so much cunning. if the same course is pursued with girls, under the same circumstances, the clitoris will be found congested, with the other genital organs, which will also be moist from increased secretion. other conditions will be as nearly as possible the same as those in the boy. stains upon the night shirt or sheets, occurring before puberty, are certain evidences of the vice in boys, as they are subject, before that time, to no discharge which will leave a stain resembling that from the seminal fluid, except the rare one from piles. in the very young, these stains do not occur; but when the habit is acquired before puberty, a discharge resembling semen takes place before the ordinary period. of course, the stains from urine will be easily distinguished from others. the frequent occurrence of such stains after puberty is a suspicious circumstance. a discharge in some respects similar may occur in girls. before puberty, the effect of the vice upon the genital organs is to cause an unnatural development, in both sexes, of the sensitive portions. when this is marked, it is pretty conclusive evidence of the vice. in girls, the vagina often becomes unnaturally enlarged, and leucorrhoea is often present. after puberty, the organs usually diminish in size, and become unnaturally lax and shrunken. all of these signs should be thoroughly mastered by those who have children under their care, and if not continually watching for them, which would be an unpleasant task, such should be on the alert to detect the signs at once when they appear, and then carefully seek for others until there is no longer any doubt about the case. results of secret vice. the physician rarely meets more forlorn objects than the victims of prolonged self-abuse. these unfortunate beings he meets every day of his life, and listens so often to the same story of shameful abuse and retributive suffering that he dreads to hear it repeated. in these cases, there is usually a horrid sameness--the same cause, the same inevitable results. in most cases, the patient need not utter a word, for the physician can read in his countenance his whole history, as can most other people at all conversant with the subject. in order to secure the greatest completeness consistent with necessary brevity, we will describe the effects observed in males and those in females under separate heads, noticing the symptoms of each morbid condition in connection with its description. effects in males. we shall describe, first, the local effects, then the general effects, physical and mental. local effects.--excitement of the genital organs produces the most intense congestion. no other organs in the body are capable of such rapid and enormous engorgement. when the act is frequently repeated, this condition becomes permanent in some of the tissues, particularly in the mucous membrane lining the urethra. this same membrane continues into and lines throughout the bladder, kidneys, and all the urinary organs, together with the vesiculae seminales, the ejaculatory ducts, the vasa deferentia, and the testes. in consequence of this continuity of tissue, any irritation affecting one part is liable to extend to another, or to all the rest. we mention this anatomical fact here as a help to the understanding of the different morbid conditions which will be noticed. _urethral irritation_.--the chronic congestion of the urethra after a time becomes chronic irritability. the tissue is unusually sensitive, this condition being often indicated by a slight smarting in urination. it often extends throughout the whole length of the urethra, and becomes so intense that the passage of a sound, which would occasion little if any sensation in a healthy organ, produces the most acute pain, as we have observed in numerous instances, even when the greatest care was used in the introduction of the instrument. shooting pains are often felt in the organ, due to this irritation. pain is in some cases most felt at the root, in others, at the head. it often darts from one point to another. just before and just after urination the pain is most severe. _stricture_.--long-continued irritation of the mucous membrane of the urethra produces, ultimately, inflammation and swelling of the same in some portion of its extent. this condition may become permanent, and then constitutes real stricture, a most serious disease. more often the swelling is but transient, being due to some unusual excess, and will subside. sometimes, also, a temporary stricture is produced by spasmodic contraction of the muscular fibers surrounding the urethra, which is excited by the local irritation. this kind of stricture is often met in the treatment of spermatorrhoea. enlarged prostate.--this painful affection is a frequent result of the chronic irritation in the urethra, which the gland surrounds, the morbid action being communicated to it by its proximity. a diseased action is set up which results in enlargement and hardening. it is felt as a hard body just anterior to the anus, and becomes by pressure the source of much additional mischief. sometimes the disease progresses to dangerous ulceration. it is attended by heat, pressure, and pain between the anus and the root of the penis. urinary diseases.--the same congestion and irritability extend to the bladder and thence to the kidneys, producing irritation and inflammation of those organs. mucus is often formed in large quantities; sometimes much is retained in the bladder. earthy matter is deposited, which becomes entangled in the mucus, and thus a concretion or stone is produced, occasioning much suffering, and perhaps death. we saw, not long since, a case of this kind. the patient was nearly sixty years of age, and had practiced masturbation from childhood. in consequence of his vice, a chronic irritation of the urethra had been produced, which was followed by enlargement of the prostate, then by chronic irritation of the bladder and the formation of stone. his sufferings were most excruciating whenever he attempted to urinate, which was only accomplished with the greatest difficulty and suffering. one of the unpleasant results of irritation of the lining membrane of the bladder is inability to retain the urine long, which requires frequent urination and often causes incontinence of urine. _priapism_.--this same morbid sensitiveness may produce priapism, or continuous and painful erection, one of the most "terrible and humiliating conditions," as dr. acton says, to which the human body is subject. the horrid desperation of patients suffering under this condition is almost inconceivable. it is, fortunately, rare, in its most severe forms; but hundreds suffer from it to a most painful degree as one of the punishments of transgression of nature's laws; and a most terrible punishment it is. _piles, prolapsus of rectum, etc._--as the result of the straining caused by stricture, piles, prolapsus of the rectum, and fissure of the anus are not infrequently induced, as the following case observed at charity hospital, new york, illustrates:-- the patient had a peculiar deformity of the genital organs, _hypospadias_, which prevented sexual intercourse, in consequence of which he gave himself up to the practice of self-abuse. he had become reduced to the most deplorable condition of both mind and body, and presented a most woebegone countenance. in addition to his general ailments, he suffered from extreme prolapsus of the rectum and a most painful anal fissure. his condition was somewhat bettered by skillful surgical treatment. _extension of irritation_.--serious and painful as are the affections already noticed, those which arise from the extension of the congestion and irritation of the urethra to those other organs most intimately connected with the function of generation are still more dreadful in themselves, and far more serious in their consequences. the irritation extends into the ejaculatory ducts, thence backward into the seminal vesicles, and downward through the vasa deferentia to the testes. these organs become unnaturally excited, and their activity is increased. the testicles form an abnormal amount of spermatozoa; the seminal vesicles secrete their peculiar fluid too freely. from these two sources combined, the vesicles become loaded with seminal fluid, and this condition gives rise to a great increase of sexual excitement. in cases of long standing, the irritation of the urethra at the openings of the ejaculatory ducts, a point just in front of the bladder, advances to inflammation and ulceration. here is now established a permanent source of irritation, by which the morbid activity of the testes and seminal vesicles is kept up and continually increased. this condition is indicated by frequent twitchings of the ejaculatory and compressor muscles in the perineum. it is also indicated by a burning sensation at the root of the penis after urination, which, in severe cases, amounts to very serious pain. _atrophy, or wasting of the testes_.--the first result of the irritation communicated to the testes, is, as already remarked, increased activity; but this is attended by swelling in some cases, more or less pain, tenderness, and, after a time, diminution in size. this degenerative process likewise affects the seminal fluid, which becomes more or less deteriorated and incapable of producing healthy offspring, even while it retains the power of fecundating the ovum, which it also ultimately loses if the disease is not checked by proper treatment, when the individual becomes hopelessly impotent, a happy result for the race, for it prevents the possibility of his imparting to another being his debilitated constitution. _varicocele_.--this morbid condition consists in a varicose state of the spermatic veins. it is almost always found upon the left side, owing to an anatomical peculiarity of the spermatic vein of that side. it has been supposed to be a result of masturbation and its effects, but is certainly caused otherwise in many cases. it is not infrequently found in these patients; but prof. bartholow contends that even in such cases we should "consider its presence, in general, as accidental." atrophy of the left testicle is often produced by the pressure of the distended veins; but this does not produce impotence. it occasionally occurs simultaneously on both sides, and greatly aggravates the effects of self-abuse, if it is not itself an effect of the vice. nocturnal emissions.--seminal emissions during sleep, usually accompanied by erotic dreams, are known as nocturnal pollutions or emissions, and are often called _spermatorrhoea_, though there is some disagreement respecting the use of the latter term. its most proper use is when applied to the entire group of symptoms which accompany involuntary seminal losses. the masturbator knows nothing of this disease so long as he continues his vile practice; but when he resolves to reform, and ceases to defile himself voluntarily, he is astonished and disgusted to find that the same filthy pollutions occur during his sleep without his voluntary participation. he now begins to see something of the ruin he has wrought. the same nightly loss continues, sometimes being repeated several times in a single night, to his infinite mortification and chagrin. he hopes the difficulty will subside of itself, but his hope is vain; unless properly treated, it will probably continue until the ruin which he voluntarily began is completed. this disease is the result of sexual excesses of any kind; it is common in married men who have abused the marriage relation, when they are forced to temporary continence from any cause. it also occurs in those addicted to mental unchastity, though they may be physically continent. it is not probable that it would ever occur in a person who had been strictly continent and had not allowed his mind to dwell upon libidinous imaginations. exciting causes.--the exciting causes which serve to perpetuate this difficulty are chiefly two; viz., local irritation and lewd thoughts. the first cause is usually chiefly located in the urethra, and especially at the mouths of the ejaculatory ducts. distention of the seminal vesicles with a superabundance of seminal fluid also acts as a source of irritation. constipation, worms, and piles have an irritative influence which is often very seriously felt. unchaste thoughts act detrimentally in a two-fold way. they first stimulate the activity of the testes, thus increasing the overloading of the seminal vesicles. lascivious thoughts during wakefulness are the chief cause of lascivious dreams. emissions do not usually occur during the soundest sleep, but during that condition which may be characterized as dozing, which is most often indulged in early in the morning after the soundest sleep is passed. this fact has an important bearing upon treatment, as will be seen hereafter. at first, the emissions are always accompanied by dreams, the patient usually awaking immediately afterward; but after a time they take place without dreams and without awaking him, and are unaccompanied by sensation. this denotes a greatly increased gravity of the complaint. certain circumstances greatly increase the frequency of the emissions, and thus hasten the injury which they are certain to accomplish if not checked; as, neglect to relieve the bladder and bowels at night, late suppers, stimulating foods and drinks, and anything that will excite the genital organs. of all causes, amorous or erotic thoughts are the most powerful. tea and coffee, spices and other condiments, and animal food have a special tendency in this direction. certain positions in bed also serve as exciting or predisposing causes; as sleeping upon the back or abdomen. feather beds and pillows and too warm covering in bed are also injurious for the same reason. in frequency, emissions will vary in different persons from an occasional one at long and irregular intervals to two or three a week, or several--as many as four in one case we have met--in a single night. the immediate effect of an emission will depend somewhat upon the frequency of occurrence and the condition of the individual. if very infrequent, and occurring in a comparatively robust person, after the seminal vesicles have become distended with seminal fluid, the immediate effect of an emission may be a sensation of temporary relief. this circumstance has led certain persons to suppose that emissions are natural and beneficial. this point will receive attention shortly. if the emissions are more frequent, or if they occur in a person of a naturally feeble constitution, the immediate effect is lassitude, languor, indisposition and often inability to perform severe mental or physical labor, melancholy, amounting often to despair and even leading to suicide, and an exaggeration of local irritation, and of all the morbid conditions to be noticed under the head of "general effects." headache, indigestion, weakness of the back and knees, disturbed circulation, dimness of vision, and loss of appetite, are only a few of these. are occasional emissions necessary or harmless?--that an individual may suffer for years an involuntary seminal loss as frequently as once a month without apparently suffering very great injury, seems to be a settled fact with physicians of extensive experience, and is well confirmed by observation; yet there are those who suffer severely from losses no more frequent than this. but when seminal losses occur more frequently than once a month, they will certainly ultimate in great injury, even though immediate ill effects are not noticed, as in exceptional cases they may not be. if argument is necessary to sustain this position, as it hardly seems to be, we would refer to the fact that seminal losses do not occur in those who are, and always have been, continent both mentally and physically, when such rare individuals can be found. they occur the most rarely in those who the most nearly approach the standard of perfect chastity; so that whenever they occur, they may be taken as evidence of some form of sexual excess. this fact clearly shows that losses of this kind are not natural. emission not necessary to health.--if it be argued that an occasional emission is necessary to relieve the overloaded seminal vesicles, we reply, the same argument has been used as an apology for unchastity; but it is equally worthless in both instances. it might be as well argued that vomiting is a necessary physiological and healthful act, and should occur with regularity, because a person may so overload his stomach as to make the act necessary as a remedial measure. vomiting is a diseased action, a pathological process, and is occasioned by the voluntary transgression of the individual. hence, it is as unnecessary as gluttony, and must be wasteful of vitality, even though rendered necessary under some circumstances. so with emissions. if a person allows his mind to dwell upon unchaste subjects, indulges in erotic dreams, and riots in mental lasciviousness, he may render an emission almost necessary as a remedial effort. nevertheless, he will suffer from the loss of the vital fluid just the same as though he had not, by his own concupiscence, rendered it in some degree necessary. and as it would have been infinitely better for him to have retained and digested food in his stomach instead of ejecting it--provided it were wholesome food--so it would have been better for him to have retained in his system the seminal fluid, which would have been disposed of by the system and probably utilized to very great advantage in the repair of certain of the tissues. eminent testimony.--an eminent english physician, dr. milton, who has treated many thousands of cases of this disease, remarks in a work upon the subject as follows:-- "anything beyond one emission a month requires attention. i know this statement has been impugned, but i am quite prepared to abide by it. i did not put it forward till i considered i had quite sufficient evidence in my hands to justify me in doing so." "an opinion prevails, as most of my readers are aware, among medical men, that a few emissions in youth do good instead of harm. it is difficult to understand how an unnatural evacuation can do good, except in the case of unnatural congestion. i have, however, convinced myself that the principle is wrong. lads never really feel better for emissions; they very often feel decidedly worse. occasionally they may fancy there is a sense of relief, but it is very much the same sort of relief that a drunkard feels from a dram. in early life the stomach may be repeatedly overloaded with impunity, but i suppose few would contend that overloading was therefore good. the fact is that emissions are invariably more or less injurious; not always visibly so in youth, nor susceptible of being assessed as to the damage inflicted by any given number of them, but still contributing, each in its turn, a mite toward the exhaustion and debility which the patient will one day complain of." diurnal emissions.--as the disease progresses, the irritation and weakness of the organs become so great that an erection and emission occur upon the slightest sexual excitement. mere proximity to a female, or the thought of one, will be sufficient to produce a pollution, attended by voluptuous sensations. but after a time the organs become so diseased and irritable that the slightest mechanical irritation, as friction of the clothing, the sitting posture, or riding horseback, will produce a discharge which may or may not be attended by sensation of any kind. frequently a burning or more or less painful sensation occurs; erection does not take place. even straining at stool will produce the discharge, or violent efforts to retain the feces when there is unnatural looseness. the amount of the discharge may vary from a few drops to one or two drams, or even more. the character of the discharge is of considerable importance. when it occurs under the circumstances last described, viz., without erection or voluptuous sensations, it may be of a true seminal character, or it may contain no spermatozoa. this point can be determined by the microscope alone. the discharge is the result of sexual excitement or irritation, nevertheless, and indicates a most deplorable condition of the genital organs. the patient is sometimes unnecessarily frightened by it, and often exaggerates the amount of the losses, and the symptoms arising from them. however, when a single nocturnal emission occasions such detrimental results, what must be the effect of repeated discharges occurring several times a day, or every time an individual relieves his bowels, urinates, or entertains an unvirtuous thought! if the losses were always seminal, the work of ruin would soon be complete; fortunately, those discharges which are the most frequent are only occasionally of a true seminal character. it is not true, however, as has been claimed by some writers, one at least, that they are never seminal, as we have proved by repeated microscopic examinations. cause of diurnal emissions.--the causes of these discharges are spasmodic action of the muscles involved in ejaculation, which is occasioned by local irritation, and pressure upon the seminal vesicles by the distended rectum or bladder. they denote a condition of debility and irritation which may well occasion grave alarm. in occasional instances, the internal irritation reaches such a height that blood is discharged with the seminal fluid. internal emissions.--as the disease progresses, external discharges finally cease, in some cases, or partially so, and the individual is encouraged by that circumstance to think that he is recovering. he soon discovers his error, however, for he continues to droop even though the discharges apparently cease altogether. this seems a mystery until some medical friend or a medical work calls his attention to the fact that the discharges now occur internally instead of externally, the seminal fluid passing back into the bladder and being voided with the urine. an examination of the urine reveals the presence of cloudy matter appearing much like mucus, or a whitish sediment. a microscopic examination shows this matter to be composed largely of zoosperms, which decides its origin. an important caution.--it is necessary, however, to caution the reader not to pronounce every whitish sediment or flocculent matter found in the urine to be a seminal discharge, for the great majority are of a different character. they are, most frequently, simply mucus or phosphates from the bladder. seminal fluid cannot be distinguished from mucus by any other than a careful microscopic examination. a microscope of good quality and capable of magnifying at least one hundred and fifty diameters is required, together with considerable skill in the operator. quacks have done an immense amount of harm by frightening patients into the belief that they were suffering from discharges of this kind when there was, in fact, nothing more than a copious deposit of phosphates, which is not at all infrequent in nervous people, especially after eating. when the condition described does really exist, however, the patient cannot make too much haste to put himself under the care of a competent physician for treatment. if there is even a reasonable suspicion that it may exist, he should have his urine carefully examined by one competent to criticize it intelligently. by many authors, the term spermatorrhoea is confined entirely to this stage of the disease. it is said that the forcible interruption of ejaculation has been the cause of this unfortunate condition in many cases. such a proceeding is certainly very hazardous. one more caution should be offered; viz., that the occasional presence of spermatozoa in the urine is not a proof of the existence of internal emissions, as a few zoosperms may be left in the urethra after a voluntary or nocturnal emission, and thus find their way into the urine as it is discharged from the bladder. impotence.--in the progress of the disease a point is finally reached when the victim not only loses all desire for the natural exercise of the sexual function, but when such an act becomes impossible. this condition may have been reached even before all of the preceding symptoms have been developed. ultimately it becomes impossible to longer practice the abominable vice itself, on account of the great degeneration and relaxation of the organs. the approach of this condition is indicated by increasing loss of erectile power, which is at first only temporary, but afterward becomes permanent. still the involuntary discharges continue, and the victim sees himself gradually sinking lower and lower into the pit which his own hands have dug. the misery of his condition is unimaginable; manhood lost, body a wreck, and death staring him in the face. this is a brief sketch of the local effects of the horrid vice of self-abuse. the description has not been at all overdrawn. we have yet to consider the general effects, some of which have already been incidentally touched upon in describing nocturnal emissions, with their immediate results. general effects.--the many serious effects which follow the habit of self-abuse, in addition to those terrible local maladies already described, are the direct results of two causes in the male; viz., . nervous exhaustion; . loss of the seminal fluid. there has been much discussion as to which one of these was the cause of the effects observed in these cases. some have attributed all the evil to one cause, and some to the other. that the loss of semen is not the only cause, nor, perhaps, the chief source of injury, is proved by the fact that most deplorable effects of the vice are seen in children before puberty, and also in females, in whom no seminal discharge nor anything analogous to it occurs. in these cases, it is the nervous shock alone which works the evil. again, that the seminal fluid is the most highly vitalized of all the fluids of the body, and that its rapid production is at the expense of a most exhaustive effort on the part of the vital forces, is well attested by all physiologists. it is further believed by some eminent physicians that the seminal fluid is of great use in the body for building up and replenishing certain tissues, especially those of the nerves and brain, being absorbed after secretion. though this view is not coincided in by all physiologists, it seems to be supported by the following facts:-- . the composition of the nerves and that of spermatozoa is nearly identical. . men from whom the testes have been removed before puberty, as in the case of eunuchs, are never fully developed as they would otherwise have been. the nervous shock accompanying the exercise of the sexual organs--either natural or unnatural--is the most profound to which the system is subject. the whole nervous system is called into activity; and the effects are occasionally so strongly felt upon a weakened organism that death results in the very act. the subsequent exhaustion is necessarily proportionate to the excitement. it need not be surprising, then, that the effects of the frequent operation of two such powerful influences combined should be so terrible as they are found to be. _general debility_.--nervous exhaustion and the loss of the vivifying influence of the seminal fluid produce extreme mental and physical debility, which increases as the habit is practiced, and is continued by involuntary emissions after the habit ceases. if the patient's habits are sedentary, and if he had a delicate constitution at the start, his progress toward the grave will be fearfully rapid, especially if the habit were acquired young, as it most frequently is by such boys, they being generally precocious. extreme emaciation, sallow or blotched skin, sunken eyes, surrounded by a dark or blue color, general weakness, dullness, weak back, stupidity, laziness, or indisposition to activity of any kind, wandering and illy defined pains, obscure and often terrible sensations, pain in back and limbs, sleeplessness, and a train of morbid symptoms too long to mention in detail, attend these sufferers. _consumption_.--it is well recognized by the medical profession that this vice is one of the most frequent causes of consumption. at least such would seem to be the declaration of experience, and the following statistical fact adds weight to the conclusion:-- "dr. smith read a paper before a learned medical association a few years since in which he pointed out the startling fact that in one thousand cases of consumption five hundred and eighteen had suffered from some form of sexual abuse, and more than four hundred had been addicted to masturbation or suffered from nocturnal emissions."[ ] [footnote : acton.] "most of those who early become addicted to self-pollution are soon afterward the subjects, not merely of one or more of the ailments already noticed, but also of enlargements of the lymphatic and other glands, ultimately of _tubercular deposits in the lungs_ and other viscera, or of scrofulous disease of the vertebrae or bones, or of other structures, more especially of the joints."[ ] [footnote : copland.] many young men waste away and die of symptoms resembling consumption which are solely the result of the loathsome practice of self-abuse. the real number of consumptives whose disease originates in this manner can never be known. _dyspepsia_.--indigestion is frequently one of the first results. nervous exhaustion is always felt by the stomach very promptly. when dyspepsia is once really established, it reacts upon the genital organs, increasing their irritability as well as that of all the rest of the nervous system. now there is no end to the ills which may be suffered; for an impaired digestion lays the system open to the inroads of almost any and every malady. _heart disease_.--functional disease of the heart, indicated by excessive palpitation on the slightest exertion, is a very frequent symptom. though it unfits the individual for labor, and causes him much suffering, he would be fortunate if he escaped with no disease of a more dangerous character. _throat affections_.--there is no doubt that many of the affections of the throat in young men and older ones which pass under the name of "clergyman's sore throat" are the direct results of masturbation and emissions. dr. acton cites several cases in proof of this, and quotes the following letter from a young clergyman:-- "when i began the practice of masturbation, at the age of sixteen, i was in the habit of exercising my voice regularly. the first part in which i felt the bad effects of that habit was in the organs of articulation. after the act, the voice wanted tone, and there was a disagreeable feeling about the throat which made speaking a source of no pleasure to me as it had been. by-and-by, it became painful to speak after the act. this arose from a feeling as if a morbid matter was being secreted in the throat, so acrid that it sent tears to the eyes when speaking, and would have taken away the breath if not swallowed. this, however, passed away in a day or two after the act. in the course of years, when involuntary emissions began to impair the constitution, this condition became permanent. the throat always feels very delicate, and there is often such irritability in it, along with this feeling of the secretion of morbid matter, as to make it impossible to speak without swallowing at every second or third word. this is felt even in conversation, and there is a great disinclination to attempt to speak at all. in many instances in which the throat has been supposed to give way from other causes, i have known this to be the real one. may it not be that the general irritation always produced by the habit referred to, shows itself also in this organ, and more fully in those who are required habitually to exercise it?" _nervous diseases_.--there is no end to the nervous affections to which the sufferer from this vice is subject. headaches, neuralgias, symptoms resembling hysteria, sudden alternations of heat and cold, irregular flushing of the face, and many other affections, some of the more important of which we will mention in detail, are his constant companions. _epilepsy_.--this disease has been traced to the vile habit under consideration in so many cases that it is now very certain that in many instances this is its origin. it is of frequent occurrence in those who have indulged in solitary vice or any other form of sexual excess. we have seen several cases of this kind. failure of special senses.--dimness of vision, amaurosis, spots before the eyes, with other forms of ocular weakness, are common results of this vice. the same degeneration and premature failure occur in the organs of hearing. in fact, sensibility of all the senses becomes in some measure diminished in old cases. spinal irritation.--irritation of the spinal cord, with its resultant evils, is one of the most common of the nervous affections originating in this cause. tenderness of the spine, numerous pains in the limbs, and spasmodic twitching of the muscles, are some of its results. paralysis, partial or complete, of the lower limbs, and even of the whole body, is not a rare occurrence. we have seen two cases in which this was well marked. both patients were small boys and began to excite the genital organs at a very early age. in one, the paralytic condition was complete when he was held erect. the head fell forward, the arms and limbs hung down helpless, the eyes rolled upward, and the saliva dribbled from his mouth. when lying flat upon his back, he had considerable control of his limbs. in this case, a condition of priapism seems to have existed almost from birth, owing to congenital phimosis. his condition was somewhat improved by circumcision. in the other case, in which phimosis also existed, there was paralysis of a few of the muscles of the leg, which produced club-foot. circumcision was also performed in this case and the child returned in a few weeks completely cured, without any other application, though it had previously been treated in a great variety of ways without success, all the usual remedies for club-foot proving ineffectual. both of these cases appeared in the clinic of dr. sayre at bellevue hospital, and were operated upon by him. we have recently observed several cases of spinal disease which could be traced to no origin but masturbation. two patients were small boys, naturally quite intelligent. they manifested all the peculiarities of loco-motor ataxia in older persons, walking with the characteristic gait. the disease was steadily progressing in spite of all attempts to stay it. an older brother had died of the same malady, paralysis extending over the whole body, and finally preventing deglutition, so that he really starved to death. insanity.--that solitary vice is one of the most common causes of insanity, is a fact too well established to need demonstration here. every lunatic asylum furnishes numerous illustrations of the fact. "authors are universally agreed, from galen down to the present day, about the pernicious influence of this enervating indulgence, and its strong propensity to generate the very worst and most formidable kinds of insanity. it has frequently been known to occasion speedy, and even instant, insanity."[ ] [footnote : arnold.] "religious insanity," so-called, may justly be attributed to this cause in a great proportion of cases. the individual is conscience-smitten in view of his horrid sins, and a view of his terrible condition--ruined for both worlds, he fears--goads him to despair, and his weakened intellect fails; reason is dethroned, and he becomes a hopeless lunatic. his friends, knowing nothing of the real cause of his mysterious confessions of terrible sin, think him over-conscientious, and lay the blame of his insanity upon religion, when it is solely the result of his vicious habits, of which they are ignorant. in other cases, the victim falls into a profound melancholy from which nothing can divert him. he never laughs, does not even smile. he becomes more and more reserved and taciturn, and perhaps ends the scene by committing suicide. this crime is not at all uncommon with those who have gone the whole length of the road of evil. they find their manhood gone, the vice in which they have so long delighted is no longer possible, and, in desperation, they put an end to the miserable life which nature might lengthen out a few months if not thus violently superseded. if the practice is continued uninterruptedly from boyhood to manhood, imbecility and idiocy are the results. demented individuals are met in no small numbers inside of hospitals and asylums, and outside as well, who owe to this vice their awful condition. plenty of half-witted men whom one meets in the every-day walks of life have destroyed the better half of their understanding by this wretched practice. a victim's mental condition pictured.--the mental condition of a victim of this vice cannot be better described than is done in the following paragraphs by one himself a victim, though few of these unfortunate individuals would be able to produce so accurate and critical a portrait of themselves as is here drawn by m. rousseau, as quoted by mr. acton:-- "one might say that my heart and my mind do not belong to the same person. my feelings, quicker than lightning, fill my soul; but instead of illuminating, they burn and dazzle me. i feel everything. i see nothing. i am excited, but stupid; i cannot think except in cold blood. the wonderful thing is that i have sound enough tact, penetration, even _finesse_, if people will wait for me. i make excellent impromptus at leisure; but at the moment i have nothing ready to say or do. i should converse brilliantly by post, as they say the spaniards play at chess. when i read of a duke of savoy who turned back after starting on his journey to say, 'in your teeth! you paris shop-keeper!' i said, 'that is like me!'" "but not only is it a labor to me to express, but also to receive, ideas. i have studied men, and i think i am a tolerably good observer; yet i can see nothing of what i do see. i can hardly say that i see anything except what i recall; i have no power of mind but in my recollection. of all that is said, of all that is done, of all that passes in my presence, i feel nothing, i appreciate nothing. the external sign is all that strikes me. but after a while it all comes back to me." effects in females. local effects.--the local diseases produced by the vice in females are, of course, of a different nature from those seen in males, on account of the difference in organization. they arise, however, in the same way, congestions at first temporary ultimately becoming permanent and resulting in irritation and various disorders. leucorrhoea.--the results of congestion first appear in the mucous membrane lining the vagina, which is also injured by mechanical irritation, and consists of a catarrhal discharge which enervates the system. by degrees the discharge increases in quantity and virulence, extending backward until it reaches the sensitive womb. contact with the acrid, irritating secretions of the vagina produces soreness of the fingers at the roots of the nails, and also frequently causes warts upon the fingers. hence the value of these signs, as previously mentioned. uterine disease.--congestion of the womb is also produced by the act of abuse; and as the habit is continued, it also becomes permanent. this congestion, together with the contact of the acrid vaginal discharge, finally produces ulceration upon the neck, together with other diseases. another result of congestion is all kinds of menstrual derangements after puberty, the occurrence of which epoch is hastened by the habit. prolapsus and various displacements are produced in addition to menstrual irregularities. cancer of the womb.--degeneration of this delicate organ also occurs as the result of the constant irritation and congestion, and is often of a malignant nature, occasioning a most painful death. sterility.--sterility, dependent on a total loss of sexual desire and inability to participate in the sexual act, is another condition which is declared by medical authors to be most commonly due to previous habits of self-abuse. in consequence of overexcitement the organs become relaxed. atrophy of mammae.--closely connected with other local results is the deficient development of the breasts when the vice is begun before or at puberty, and atrophy if it is begun or continued after development has occurred. as previously remarked, this is not the sole cause of small mammae, but it is one of the great causes. pruritis.--this is an affection not infrequent in these subjects. continued congestion produces a terrible itching of the genitals, which increases until the individual is in a state of actual frenzy, and the disposition to manipulate the genitals becomes irresistible, and is indulged even in the presence of friends or strangers, and though the patient be at other times a young woman of unexceptionable modesty. in cases of this kind, great hypertrophy of the organ of greatest sensibility has been observed, and in some cases amputation of the part has been found the only cure. general effects.--the general effects in the female are much the same as those in the male. although women suffer no seminal loss, they suffer the debilitating effects of leucorrhoea, which is in some degree injurious in the same manner as seminal losses in the male. but in females the greatest injury results from the nervous exhaustion which follows the unnatural excitement. nervous diseases of every variety are developed. emaciation and debility become more marked even than in the male, and the worst results are produced sooner, being hastened by the sedentary habits of these females, generally. insanity is more frequently developed than in males. spinal irritation is so frequent a result that a recent surgical author has said that "spinal irritation in girls and women is, in a majority of cases, due to self-abuse."[ ] [footnote : davis.] a common cause of hysteria.--this, too, is one of the most frequent causes of hysteria, chorea, and epilepsy among young women, though not often recognized. a writer, quoted several times before in this work, remarks as follows:-- "this is not a matter within the scope of general investigation; truth is not to be expected from its _habitues_; parents are deceived respecting it, believing rather what they wish than what they fear. even the physician can but suspect, till time develops more fully by hysterias, epilepsies, spinal irritations, and a train of symptoms unmistakable even if the finally extorted confession of the poor victim did not render the matter clear. marriage does, indeed, often arrest this final catastrophe, and thus apparently shifts the responsibility upon other shoulders, and to the 'injurious effects of early marriages,' to the 'ills of maternity,' are ascribed the results of previous personal abuse. "for statistics and further information on this all-important subject, we must refer the reader to the opinions of physicians who have the charge of our retreats for the insane, lunatic asylums, and the like; to the discriminating physicians of the families of the upper classes--stimulated alike by food, drinks, scenes where ease is predominant, where indolence is the habit and novel-reading is the occupation--for further particulars on a subject here but barely alluded to."[ ] [footnote : gardner.] effects upon offspring. if sterility does not result, children are liable to be "delicate, puny, decrepit, or subject to various congenital maladies, especially of the nervous system, to idiocy from deficient development of the brain, to hydrocephalus, to epilepsy, convulsions, palsy. the scrofulous diathesis, tubercular and glandular maladies, diseases of the vertebrae and of the joints, softening of the central portions of the brain, and tuberculous formations in the membranes, palsy and convulsions, chorea, inflammations of the membranes or substance of the brain or spinal cord, and numerous other affections to which infants and children are liable, very commonly result from the practice of self-pollution by either of the parents previous to marriage. but the evil does not always stop at this epoch of existence, it often extends throughout the life of the offspring, or it appears only with puberty and mature age." too frequently, the victim of self-abuse, when he finds himself suffering from the first results of his sin, neglects to adopt any measures for the cure of the disease. not understanding its inveterate character, he labors under the delusion that it will cure itself in time. this is a fatal mistake. the diseased conditions induced by this vice never improve themselves. their constant tendency is to increase in virulence and inveteracy. the necessity of taking prompt measures for relief is too apparent to need especial emphasis. treatment of self-abuse and its effects. after having duly considered the causes and effects of this terrible evil, the question next in order for consideration is, how shall it be cured? when a person has, through ignorance or weakness, brought upon himself the terrible effects described, how shall he find relief from his ills, if restoration is possible? to the answer of these inquiries, most of the remaining pages of this work will be devoted. but before entering upon a description of methods of _cure_, a brief consideration of the subject of _prevention_ of the habit will be in order. prevention of secret vice. for the rising generation, those yet innocent of the evil practices so abundant in this age of sensuality, how the evil habit may be prevented is the most important of all questions connected with this subject. this topic should be especially interesting to parents, for even those who are themselves sensual have seen enough of the evils of such a life to wish that their children may remain pure. there are, indeed, rare exceptions to this rule, for we sometimes learn of parents who have deliberately led their own children into vice, as though they desired to make them share their shame and damnation. cultivate chastity.--from earliest infancy all of those influences and agencies which cultivate chastity should be brought into active exercise. these we need not repeat here, having previously dwelt upon them so fully. the reader is recommended to re-peruse the portion of the work devoted to this subject, in connection with the present section. if parents have themselves indulged in this vice, they should use special care that all of the generative and gestative influences brought to bear upon their children are the purest possible, so that they may not inherit a predisposition to sin in this direction. special care should be exercised to avoid corrupt servants and associates. every servant not known to be pure should be suspected until proof of innocence has been established. they should be especially instructed of the evil arising from manipulation of the genitals even in infants, as they may do immense harm through simple ignorance. timely warning.--but, in spite of chaste surroundings and all other favorable circumstances, if the child is left in ignorance of his danger, he may yet fall a victim to the devices of servants or corrupt playmates, or may himself make a fatal discovery. hence arises the duty of warning children of the evil before the habit has been formed. this is a duty that parents seldom perform even when they are not unaware of the danger. they in some way convince themselves that their children are pure, at least, even if others are corrupt. it is often the most difficult thing in the world for parents to comprehend the fact that _their_ children are not the best children in the world, perfect paragons of purity and innocence. there is an unaccountable and unreasonable delicacy on the part of parents about speaking of sexual subjects to their children. in consequence, their young, inquisitive minds are left wholly in ignorance unless, perchance, they gain information from some vile source. objections are raised against talking to children or young persons about matters in any degree pertaining to the sexual organs or functions. some of the more important of them are considered in the introduction to this work, and we need not repeat here. the little one should be taught from earliest infancy to abstain from handling the genitals, being made to regard it as a very improper act. when the child becomes old enough to understand and reason, he may be further informed of the evil consequences; then, as he becomes older, the functions of the organs may be explained with sufficient fullness to satisfy his natural craving for knowledge. if this course were pursued, how many might be saved from ruin! it is, of course, necessary that the parents shall themselves be acquainted with the true functions of the organs before they attempt to teach any one else, especially children. many parents might receive benefit from being obliged to "study up;" for it is a lamentable fact, the ill effects of which are every day seen, that a great many people have spent a very large portion of their lives without ever ascertaining the true function of the reproductive organs, though living in matrimony for many years. some of the consequences of this ignorance have been portrayed in previous pages. "oh! why did not some kind friend tell me of the harm i was doing myself?" has been the exclamation of many an unfortunate sufferer from this vice. a warning voice should be raised to save those who are ignorantly working their own destruction. parents, teachers, ministers, all who have access to the youth, should sound the note of alarm in their ears, that if possible they may be saved from the terrible thralldom pictured by a writer in the following lines:-- "the waters have gone over me. but out of the black depths, could i be heard, i would cry to all those who have set a foot in the perilous flood. could the youth look into my desolation, and be made to understand what a dreary thing it is when a man shall feel himself going down a precipice with open eyes and passive will--to see his destruction and have no power to stop it, and yet to feel it all the way emanating from himself; to perceive all goodness emptied out of him, and yet not be able to forget a time when it was otherwise; to bear about with him the spectacle of his own self-ruin; could he feel the body of death out of which i cry hourly with feebler and feebler outcry to be delivered." curative treatment of the effects of self-abuse. when the habit and its effects are of very short duration, a cure is very readily accomplished, especially in the cases of children and females, as in them the evils begun are not continued in the form of involuntary pollutions. in cases of longer standing in males, the task is more difficult, but still the prospect of recovery is very favorable, provided the cooperation of the patient can be secured; without this, little can be done. but in these cases the patient may as well be told at the outset that the task of undoing the evil work of years of sin is no easy matter. it can only be accomplished by determined effort, by steady perseverance in right doing, and in the application of necessary remedies. those who have long practiced the vice, or long suffered severely from its effects, have received an injury which will inevitably be life-long to a greater or lesser extent in spite of all that can be done for them. yet such need not despair, for they may receive inestimable benefit by the prevention of greater damage, which they are sure to suffer if the disease is allowed to go unchecked. cure of the habit.--the preliminary step in treatment is always to cure the vice itself if it still exists. the methods adopted for this purpose must differ according to the age of the individual patient. _in children_, especially those who have recently acquired the habit, it can be broken up by admonishing them of its sinfulness, and portraying in vivid colors its terrible results, if the child is old enough to comprehend such admonitions. in addition to faithful warnings, the attention of the child should be fully occupied by work, study, or pleasant recreation. he should not be left alone at any time, lest he yield to temptation. work is an excellent remedy; work that will really make him very tired, so that when he goes to bed he will have no disposition to defile himself. it is best to place such a child under the care of a faithful person of older years, whose special duty it shall be to watch him night and day until the habit is thoroughly overcome. in younger children, with whom moral considerations will have no particular weight, other devices may be used. bandaging the parts has been practiced with success. tying the hands is also successful in some cases; but this will not always succeed, for they will often contrive to continue the habit in other ways, as by working the limbs, or lying upon the abdomen. covering the organs with a cage has been practiced with entire success. a remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. the operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anaesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. the soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed. if any attempt is made to watch the child, he should be so carefully surrounded by vigilance that he cannot possibly transgress without detection. if he is only partially watched, he soon learns to elude observation, and thus the effect is only to make him cunning in his vice. _in adults_, or youths, a different plan must be pursued. in these cases, moral considerations, and the inevitable consequences to health of body and mind, are the chief influences by which a reform is to be effected, if at all. these considerations may be urged with all possible eloquence and earnestness, but should not be exaggerated. the truth is terrible enough. if there are any special influences which may be brought to bear upon a particular individual,--and there always will be something of this sort owing to peculiarities of temperament or circumstances,--these should be promptly employed and applied in such a manner as to secure for them their full bearing. but after all, the most must be done by the individual himself. all that others can do for him is to surround him with favoring circumstances and arouse him to a proper sense of his real condition and danger. if this can be thoroughly accomplished, there is much reason to hope; but if the individual has become so lost to all sense of purity, all aspirations toward good and noble objects, that he cannot be made to feel the need of reformation, his case is hopeless. _how may a person help himself?_--the following suggestions will be found useful in fighting the battle with vice and habit:-- . begin by a resolution to reform, strengthened by the most solemn vows. . resolve to reform _now_; not to-morrow or next week, but this very minute. thousands have sunk to perdition while resolving to indulge "only this once." . begin the work of reform by purging the mind. if a lewd thought enters the mind, dispel it at once. cultivate a loathing for concupiscence. never harbor such ideas for an instant, for they will surely lead to the overt act. if, perchance, the physical sin should not be committed, the thought itself is sin, and it leaves a physical as well as a moral scar almost as deep and hideous as that inflicted by the grosser crime. . as a help to purity of mind, whenever impure thoughts enter, immediately direct the mind upon the purest object with which you are acquainted. flee from the special exciting cause, if there is one, and engage in some active labor or other exercise that will divert the mind into another channel. . avoid solitude, for then it is that temptation comes, and you are most likely to fail. avoid equally all other causes which may lead to the act. . strictly comply with all the rules laid down for the cultivation of chastity and the maintenance of continence. . above all, seek for grace and help from the source of all spiritual strength in every time of temptation, relying upon the promise, "seek, and ye shall find." hopeful courage.--an individual who will earnestly set himself about the work of purifying his mind and redeeming his body, if he will conscientiously adopt, and perseveringly apply, the remedies pointed out, _may be sure of success_. there can be no possible chance for failure. triumph is certain. patience may be tried and faith tested, but unwavering trust in god and nature, and an executed determination to do all on his part, will bring to every such one certain recovery. there may be some scars left, a few traces of the injury wrought; but the deliverance will be none the less triumphant. faith and perseverance will work wonders. general regimen and treatment.--after long abuse of the sexual organs, and in many cases after a short course of sin, the whole system becomes deteriorated; digestion is impaired, the muscles are weakened, the circulation is unbalanced, the nerves are irritable, the brain--especially the back and lower portion of it--is congested, the skin is torpid, the bowels are inactive, the general health is deranged in almost every particular. all of these morbid conditions serve to keep up the very difficulty which has produced and is increasing them. any curative effort, to be effective, then, must be directed to these as well as to local conditions; and it is pretty certainly established that local remedies or applications alone will rarely accomplish any appreciable good, at least of a permanent character. many of the observations on treatment are equally applicable to both sexes; but particular directions have been especially adapted to males, and chiefly with the cure of seminal emissions as the object in view. this remark will explain any seeming lack of completeness. mental and moral treatment.--the greatest impediment to recovery is usually found in the mind of the patient. his hopeless despair, melancholy, sullen apathy in many cases, want of energy, and fickleness of mind, thwart all attempts that are made for him. in other cases, the want of willpower, or neglect to exercise the will in controlling the thoughts, completely counteracts all that can be done for him. he must be made to understand this well, and then all possible means must be employed to attract his attention from himself, from brooding over his ills. occupy him, interest him, or teach him to occupy and interest himself. the enthusiastic study of some one of the natural sciences is a most excellent auxiliary in effecting this. the thing of first importance is that the patient should obtain command of his thoughts; by this means, he can do more for himself than all the doctors can do for him. "but i cannot control my thoughts," says the patient. a young man said to me, "o doctor, you don't know how i feel. i despise myself; i hate myself; i often feel inclined to kill myself. my mind is always full of abominable images; my thoughts run away with me and i cannot help myself." the tears ran down his face in streams as he told me of his slavery. he solemnly affirmed that he had never performed the act of self-pollution but once in his life: and yet for years he had been a constant sufferer from nocturnal emissions until his manhood was nearly lost, evidently the result of the mental onanism which he had practiced without imagining the possibility of harm. but it is not true that control of the thoughts is impossible. thoughts are the result of the action of the brain; and the action of the brain may be controlled as well as the movements of a voluntary muscle. it may be more difficult, especially when the resolution is weakened, as it is by this vice; but so long as there are left any remnants of will and reason, control is possible. to strengthen the will must be one of the objects of mental treatment, and exercise is the method by which it may be accomplished. the thing for a sufferer to say, is not, "i can't," but, "i can and i will control my thoughts." suggestions which will aid in accomplishing this have already been given under the heading, "cure of the habit." we cannot forbear to add a word further respecting the worth of religion in aiding these sufferers. if there is any living creature who needs the help of true religion, of faith in god, in christ, and in the efficacy of prayer, it is one of these. if there is any poor mortal who can not afford to be deprived of the aid of a sympathizing saviour, it is one who has enervated his will, degraded his soul, and depraved his body by the vile habit of self-abuse. a compassionate redeemer will succor even these defiled ones, if they truly "hunger and thirst" after purity, and if they set about the work of reforming themselves in good earnest, and with right motives. exercise.--physical exercise is a most powerful aid to pure thoughts. when unchaste ideas intrude, engage at once in something which will demand energetic muscular exercise. pursue the effort until fatigued, if necessary, making, all the while, a powerful mental effort to control the mind. of course, evil thoughts will not be expelled by thinking of them, but by displacing them by pure thoughts. exercise aids this greatly. exercise is also essential to balance the circulation, and thus relieve congestion of internal organs. sedentary persons especially need systematic exercise. no single form of exercise is so excellent as walking. four or five miles a day are none too many to secure a proper amount of muscular exercise. gymnastics, the "health-lift," "indian clubs," "dumb-bells," rowing, and other forms of exercise are all good; but none of them should be carried to excess. ball-playing is likely to be made a source of injury by exciting, in vigorous competition, too violent and spasmodic action. daily exercise should be taken to the extent of fatigue. it is better that those who are still strong enough should have some regular employment which will secure exercise. those who prefer may secure exercise and recreation in the pursuit of some study that involves necessary physical exertion; as, botany, geology, or entomology. the collection of natural-history specimens is one of the most pleasant diversions, and may be made very useful as well. pleasant companionship is essential to the best progress of these patients, especially in their walks, as much more exercise may be taken without an unpleasant sense of fatigue with a cheerful companion than when alone. solitude should be avoided at all times as much as possible. diet.--so much has already been said upon the relation of diet to chastity and its influence upon the sexual organs that it is unnecessary to add many remarks here. nothing could be more untrue than the statement made by some authors that the nature of the diet is of no consequence. the science of physiology teaches that our very thoughts are born of what we eat. a man that lives on pork, fine-flour bread, rich pies and cakes, and condiments, drinks tea and coffee and uses tobacco, might as well try to fly as to be chaste in thought. he will accomplish wonders if he remains physically chaste; but to be mentally virtuous would be impossible for him without a miracle of grace. one whose thoughts have been so long trained in the filthy ruts of vice that they run there automatically, and naturally gravitate downward--such a one must exercise especial care to secure the most simple, pure, and unstimulating diet. the following precautions are necessary to be observed in relation to diet:-- . _never overeat_. if too much food is taken at one meal, fast the next meal to give the system a chance to recover itself and to serve as a barrier against future transgressions of the same kind. gluttony is fatal to chastity; and overeating will be certain to cause emissions, with other evils, in one whose organs are weakened by abuse. . _eat but twice a day_, or, if supper is eaten, let it be very light, and of the most simple food, as fruit, or fruit and bread. nothing should be eaten within four or five hours of bed-time, and it is much better to eat nothing after three o'clock. the ancients ate but two meals a day; why should moderns eat three or four? if the stomach contains undigested food, the sleep will be disturbed, dreams will be more abundant, and emissions will be frequent. a most imperative rule of life should be, "never go to bed with a loaded stomach." the violation of this rule is the great cause of horrid dreams and nightmare. . _discard all stimulating food_. under this head must be included, spices, pepper, ginger, mustard, cinnamon, cloves, essences, all condiments, salt, pickles, etc., together with animal food of all kinds, not excepting fish, fowl, oysters, eggs, and milk. it is hardly to be expected that all who have been accustomed to use these articles all their lives will discard them wholly at once, nor, perhaps, that many will ever discard them entirely; but it would be better for them to do so, nevertheless. the only ones which should be tolerated under any circumstances should be lean beef or mutton, salt in very moderate quantities, and a moderate use of milk. use as little of these as possible--_the less the better_. . _stimulating drinks_ should be abstained from with still greater strictness. wine, beer, tea, and coffee should be taken under no circumstances. the influence of coffee in stimulating the genital organs is notorious. chocolate should be discarded also. it is recommended by some who suppose it to be harmless, being ignorant of the fact that it contains a poison practically identical with that of tea and coffee. hot drinks of all kinds should be avoided. tobacco, another stimulant, though not a drink, should be totally abandoned at once. . in place of such articles as have been condemned, eat fruits, grains, and vegetables. there is a rich variety of these kinds of food, and they are wholesome and unstimulating. graham flour, oatmeal, and ripe fruit are the indispensables of a dietary for those who are suffering from sexual excesses. further remarks upon diet, with a few useful recipes for preparing healthful food, will be found in works devoted to the subject of diet.[ ] the patient must carefully comply with all the rules of a healthy diet if he would be sure of recovery. [footnote : see "healthful cookery," _good health_ publishing company, battle creek, mich.] sleeping.--it is from accidents which happen during sleep that the great majority of sufferers complain; hence there is no little importance attaching to this subject. the following suggestions present in a very brief manner some of the more practical ideas connected with this part of the subject:-- . from seven to nine hours' sleep are required by all persons. the rule should be, retire early and sleep until rested; early rising is not beneficial unless it has been preceded by abundant sleep. . arise immediately upon waking in the morning if it is after four o'clock. a second nap is generally unrefreshing and is dangerous, for emissions most frequently occur at this time. . if insufficient sleep is taken at night, sleep a few minutes just before dinner. half an hour's rest at this time is remarkably refreshing; and even fifteen minutes spent in sleep will be found very reviving. do not sleep after dinner, as a pollution will be very likely to occur, and, as a rule, after-dinner naps are unrefreshing and productive of indigestion. . never go to bed with the bowels or bladder loaded. the bladder should be emptied just before retiring. it is also a good plan to form the habit of rising once or twice during the night to urinate. . the position in sleeping is of some importance. sleeping upon the back or upon the abdomen favors the occurrence of emissions; hence, it is preferable to sleep on one side. if supper has been taken, the right side is preferable, as that position will favor the passage of food from the stomach into the intestines in undergoing digestion. various devices are employed, sometimes with advantage, to prevent the patient from turning upon his back while asleep. the most simple is that recommended by acton, and consists in tying a knot in the middle of a towel and then fastening the towel about the body in such a way that the knot will come upon the small of the back. the unpleasant sensations arising from pressure of the knot, if the sleeper turn upon his back, will often serve as a complete preventive. others fasten a piece of wood upon the back for a similar purpose. still others practice tying one hand to the bedpost. none of these remedies should be depended upon, but they may be tried in connection with other means of treatment. . soft beds and pillows must be carefully avoided. feather-beds should not be employed when possible to find a harder bed; the floor, with a single folded blanket beneath the sleeper, would be preferable. soft pillows heat the head, as soft beds produce heat in other parts. a hair mattress, or a bed of corn husks, oat straw, or excelsior--covered with two or three blankets or a quilted cotton mattress--makes a very healthy and comfortable bed. . too many covers should be avoided with equal care. the thinnest possible covering in summer, and the lightest consistent with comfort in winter, should be the rule. sleeping too warm is a frequent exciting cause of nocturnal losses. . thorough ventilation of the sleeping-room, both while occupied and during the day-time, must not be neglected. it should be located in a position to admit the sunshine during the morning hours. it is a good plan to keep in it a number of house plants, as they will help to purify the air, besides adding to its cheerfulness. . if wakeful at night, instead of lying in bed trying to go to sleep, get up at once, open the bed, air the sheets, remove the night clothing and walk about the room for a few minutes, rubbing the body briskly with the bare hand at the same time. a tepid sponge bath, followed by a vigorous rubbing kept up until really tired, will conduce to sleep in many cases. sometimes a change of bed, or pulling the bed to pieces and arranging it again, is just the thing needed to bring sleep. . one of the most effectual panaceas for certain varieties of sleeplessness is going to bed at peace with all the world, and with a conscience void of offense toward god as well as man. dreams.--this is a subject of much interest to those suffering from nocturnal pollutions, for these occurrences are almost always connected with dreams of a lascivious nature. in perfectly natural sleep, there are no dreams; consciousness is entirely suspended. in the ordinary stage of dreaming, there is a peculiar sort of consciousness, many of the faculties of the mind being more or less active while the power of volition is wholly dormant. carpenter describes another stage of consciousness between that of ordinary dreaming and wakefulness, a condition "in which the dreamer has a consciousness that he is dreaming, being aware of the unreliability of the images which present themselves before his mind. he may even make a voluntary and successful effort to prolong them if agreeable, or to dissipate them if unpleasing; thus evincing a certain degree of that directing power, the entire want of which is characteristic of the true state of dreams." can dreams be controlled?--facts prove that they can be, and to a remarkable extent. a large share of emissions occur in the state described by dr. carpenter, in which a certain amount of control by the will is possible. this is the usual condition of the mind during morning naps; and if a person resolutely determines to combat unchaste thoughts whenever they come to him, whether asleep or awake, he will find it possible to control himself not only during this semi-conscious state, but even during more profound sleep. the following case, related by an eminent london surgeon,[ ] illustrates what may be done by strong resolution; the patient was an italian gentleman of very great respectability. [footnote : acton.] "he had been inconvenienced five years before with frequent emissions, which totally unnerved him. he determined resolutely that the very instant the image of a woman or any libidinous idea presented itself to his imagination, _he would wake_; and to insure his doing so, dwelt in his thoughts on his resolution for a long time before going to sleep. the remedy, applied by a vigorous will, had the most happy results. the idea, the remembrance of its being a _danger_, and the determination to wake, closely united the evening before, were never dissociated even in sleep, and he awoke in time; and this reiterated precaution, repeated during some evenings, absolutely cured the complaint." several other cases of the same kind have been recorded. doubtless the plan would be found successful in many cases when coupled with a proper regimen. a still greater control is exerted over the thoughts during sleep by their character during hours of wakefulness. by controlling the mind during entire consciousness, it will also be controlled during unconsciousness or semi-consciousness. dr. acton makes the following very appropriate remarks on this subject:-- "patients will tell you that they _cannot_ control their dreams. this is not true. those who have studied the connection between thoughts during waking hours and dreams during sleep know that they are closely connected. the _character_ is the same sleeping or waking. it is not surprising that, if a man has allowed his thoughts during the day to rest upon libidinous subjects, he should find his mind at night full of lascivious dreams--the one is a consequence of the other, and the nocturnal pollution is a natural consequence, particularly when diurnal indulgence has produced an irritability of the generative organs. a will which in our waking hours we have not exercised in repressing sexual desires, will not, when we fall asleep, preserve us from carrying the sleeping echo of our waking thought farther than we dared to do in the day-time." bathing.--a daily bath is indispensable to health under almost all circumstances; for patients of this class, it is especially necessary. a general bath should be taken every morning immediately upon rising. general _cold bathing_ is not good for any person, especially in the morning, though some may tolerate it remarkably well, being of exceptionally hardy constitutions; but the advice to try "cold bathing" often given to sufferers from seminal weakness, is very pernicious, for most of them have been reduced so low in vitality by their disease that they cannot endure such violent treatment. sun baths, electric baths, spray, plunge, and other forms of bath, are of greatest value to those suffering from the effects of indiscretions. these are described, with additional observations concerning temperature of baths, etc., etc., in works devoted to this subject. improvement of general health.--patients suffering from emissions and other forms of seminal weakness are almost always dyspeptic, and most of them present other constitutional affections which require careful and thorough treatment according to the particular indications of the case. the wise physician will not neglect these if he desires to cure his patient and make his recovery as complete as possible. prostitution as a remedy.--said a leading physician in new york to us when interrogated as to his special treatment of spermatorrhoea, "when a young man comes to me suffering from nocturnal emissions, i give him tonics and _send him to a woman_." that this is not an unusual method of treatment, even among regular physicians, is a fact as true as it is deplorable. there are hundreds of young men whose morals have been ruined by such advice. having been educated to virtuous habits, at least so far as illicit intercourse is concerned, they resist all temptations in this direction, even though their inclinations are very strong; but when advised by a physician to commit fornication as a remedial measure, they yield their virtue, far too readily sometimes, and begin a life of sin from which they might have been prevented. there are good grounds for believing that many young men purposely seek advice from physicians whom they know are in the habit of prescribing this kind of remedy. few know how commonly this course is recommended, and not by quacks, but by members of the regular profession. a medical friend informed us that he knew a case in which a country physician advised a young man of continent habits to go to a neighboring large city and spend a year or so with prostitutes, which advice he followed. of his subsequent history we know nothing; but it is most probable that, like most other young men who adopt this remedy, he soon contracted diseases which rendered his condition ten times worse than at first, without at all improving his former state. in pursuing this course, one form of emission is only substituted for another, at the best; but more than this, an involuntary result of disease is converted into a voluntary sin of the blackest character, a crime in which two participate, and which is not only an outrage upon nature, but against morality as well. a final argument against this course is that it is not a remedy and does not effect a cure of the evil, as will be shown by the following medical testimonies:-- "the vexed question of connection is one which may be decided out of hand.... _it has no power of curing bad spermatorrhoea_; it may cause a diminution in the number of emissions, but this is only a delusion; the semen is still thrown off; the frame still continues to be exhausted; the genital organs and nervous system generally are still harassed by the incessant tax, and the patient is all the while laying the foundation of impotence."[ ] [footnote : milton.] "in all solemn earnestness i protest against such false treatment. it is better for a youth to live a continent life." "there is a terrible significance in the wise man's words, 'none that go to her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.'"[ ] this hazardous and immoral mode of treatment is the result of the common opinion that emissions are necessary and natural, which we have previously shown to be a falsity. [footnote : acton.] marriage.--another class of practitioners, with more apparent regard for morality, recommend matrimony as the sure panacea for all the ills of which the sufferers from self-abuse complain, with the possible exception of actual impotence. against this course several objections may be urged; we offer the following:-- . it is not a remedy, since, as in the case of illicit intercourse, "legalized prostitution" is only a substitution of one form of emissions for another, the ill effects of which do not differ appreciably. . if it were a remedy, it would not be a justifiable one, for its use would necessitate an abuse of the marriage relation, as elsewhere shown. . as another reason why the remedy would not be a _proper_, even if a _good_, one, it may well be asked, what right has a man to treat a wife as a vial of medicine? well does mr. acton inquire, "what has the young girl, who is thus sacrificed to an egotistical calculation, done that she should be condemned to the existence that awaits her? who has the right to regard her as a therapeutic agent, and to risk thus lightly her future prospects, her repose, and the happiness of the remainder of her life?" in cases in which seminal emissions occur frequently, the most reliable writers upon this subject, copland, acton, milton, and others, advise, with reference to marriage, "that the complaint should be removed before the married life is commenced." independent of the considerations already presented, the individual affected in this manner and contemplating marriage should carefully consider the possible and probable effects upon offspring, the legitimate result of marriage; these have been already described, and need not be recapitulated. local treatment.--while it is true that general treatment alone is occasionally successful in curing the diseases under consideration, and that local treatment alone is very rarely efficient, it is also true that in many cases skillful local treatment is required to supplement the general remedies employed. while there has been a tendency on the part of the profession generally to depend wholly upon general treatment, on the part of a less numerous body of specialists there has been an opposite tendency to depend wholly, or nearly so, upon local measures. both extremes are evidently wrong. the object of local treatment for the relief of emissions, especially, is to remove the local cause of irritation, which, as previously shown, is one of the most active exciting causes of seminal losses. to effect this, both internal and external applications are useful. we will now consider some of these agents. _cool sitz bath_.--the cool or cold sitz bath is one of the most efficacious of all remedies. it should be taken daily, and may often be repeated, with benefit, several times a day. its effect is to relieve the local congestion, and thus allay the irritability of the affected parts. when but one bath is taken daily, it should be just before retiring at night. full directions for this and other baths are given in works devoted to the subject of bathing. _ascending douche_.--this is also a very useful means of allaying irritation, especially the reflex excitability which is often present in the muscles in the vicinity of the perineum and prostate gland, and when there is pain and fullness in these parts. _abdominal bandage_.--this may be worn nights to very great advantage by most patients. it not only allays the irritability of the nerve centers which are closely connected with the genital apparatus, but serves to keep the bowels in a healthy condition. it should not be applied so continuously as to produce a very profuse eruption on the skin. if such a symptom should appear, discontinue the bandage for a time. when worn during the day-time, it should be changed once in three or four hours. it is generally best to wear it only nights. _wet compress_.--this is an application to be made to the lower part of the spine for the purpose of allaying the excessive heat and irritation which often exist there. it may also be worn nights, as it in some degree prevents the danger arising from sleeping upon the back. _hot and cold applications to the spine_.--these are powerful remedies under appropriate conditions. hot applications relieve congestion of the genital organs and allay irritation. cold applications are useful when a condition of debility and relaxation is present. alternate applications of heat and cold are very valuable, when skillfully applied, as a means of allaying reflex excitability and promoting healthy action. these applications are especially useful in cases in which there is heat and pain in the lower portion of the back. their effects are greatly enhanced by administering a foot or leg bath at the same time. _local fomentations_.--when great local irritation exists, with considerable pain and spasmodic muscular action, the application of hot fomentations to the perineum will be found the most effectual means of giving relief. the hot douche and hot sitz bath are useful under the same circumstances. in some cases, alternate hot and cold applications are more effectual in allaying local irritation than hot fomentations alone. _local cold bathing_.--the genital organs should be daily bathed in cold water just before retiring. simply dashing water upon the parts for two or three minutes is insufficient; more prolonged bathing is necessary. a short application of cold occasions a strong and sudden reaction which increases local congestion; hence, the bath should be continued until the sedative effect is fully produced, which will require at least fifteen minutes. the water must be cold; about degrees is the best temperature. ice should be used to cool the water in warm weather. it should be applied thoroughly, being squeezed from a sponge upon the lower part of the abdomen and allowed to run down. _enemata_.--the use of the enema is an important means of aiding recovery, but it has been much abused, and must be employed with caution. when the bowels are very costive, relieve them before retiring by a copious injection of tepid water. the "fountain syringe" is the best instrument to employ. useful as is the syringe when needed, nothing could be much worse than becoming dependent upon it. the bowels must be made to act for themselves without such artificial assistance, by the use of proper food, especially graham flour and oatmeal, and the avoidance of hot drinks, milk, sugar, and other clogging and constipating articles; by wearing the abdominal bandage; by thorough kneading and percussion of the abdomen several times daily for five minutes at a time; by taking one or two glasses of cold water half an hour before breakfast every morning; and by plenty of muscular exercise daily. the enema should be used occasionally, however, rather than allow the bowels to continue costive, and to avoid severe straining at stool. a small, cold enema taken just before retiring, and retained, will often do much to allay local irritation. _electricity_.--probably no single agent will accomplish more than this remedy when skillfully applied. it needs to be carefully used, and cannot be trusted in the hands of those not acquainted with the physical properties of the remedy and scientific methods of applying it. _internal applications_.--complete and rapid success greatly depends upon skillful internal treatment, in a large number of cases. we are aware that there is considerable prejudice, in certain quarters, against internal treatment; but having had the opportunity of observing the effects of careful treatment applied in this way, and having put to the test of practical experience this method, we feel justified in recommending that which is approved on both theoretical and practical grounds; for it is rational to suppose that proper treatment applied directly to the seat of disease must be at least equally efficacious with methods less direct. as heretofore explained, in the more severe cases the urethra is found in a very irritable condition. it is hyper-sensitive, especially in that portion just in front of the bladder, where the ejaculatory ducts open into it. we have also seen how this condition is one of the chief exciting causes of emissions. the remedies described for allaying this irritation are all excellent and indispensable; but there is another method of great value. this consists in the passage of a suitable instrument, a sound or bougie of proper size, two or three times a week. by the aid of this means, the abnormal irritation will often diminish with magical rapidity. the passage of the instrument of course needs to be done with great delicacy, so as to avoid increasing the irritation; hence it should not be attempted by a novice. lack of skill in catheterism is doubtless the reason why some have seemed to produce injury rather than benefit by this method of treatment, they not recognizing the fact asserted by prof. gross in his treatise on surgery, that skillful catheterism is one of the most delicate operations in surgery. _use of electricity_.--the use of electricity in connection with that of the sound adds greatly to its utility. by means of the metallic instrument, also, electricity may be applied directly to the point of greatest irritation; and its soothing effect is sometimes really wonderful, as the following case will show:-- the patient, a man of unusual physical development, was suffering from nocturnal emissions and diminished sexual power, the result of early indiscretions and marital excesses. one of his most unpleasant symptoms was severe pain in the portion of the urethra near the openings of the ejaculatory ducts. after he had been suffering more than usual for a few days, we applied the faradaic electric current in the manner indicated above, for about fifteen minutes. at the end of that time the pain was entirely removed, though considerable suffering had been caused by the passage of the instrument, so sensitive was the congested membrane. the pain did not return again for two or three weeks, though treatment was necessarily suspended on account of absence. in another case, that of a young man, a student, at the beginning of treatment emissions occurred nightly, and sometimes as many as four in a single night, according to his statement, which we had no reason to doubt. under the influence of these local applications, combined with other measures of treatment and a measurably correct regimen, the number of emissions was in a few weeks reduced to one in two or three weeks. numerous other cases nearly as remarkable might be detailed if it were necessary to do so. in quite a considerable number of cases in which we have employed this plan of treatment, the results have been uniformly excellent. a very slight increase of irritation sometimes occurs at first, but this quickly subsides. the galvanic as well as the faradaic current is to be used under proper circumstances. the application of electricity to the nerve centers by means of central galvanization, and also general and local external faradization, are necessary methods to be employed in electrical treatment. _circumcision_.--in cases of phimosis, in which irritation is produced by retained secretions, division of the prepuce, or circumcision, is the proper remedy. these cases are not infrequent, but the exciting cause of much of the difficulty is often overlooked. the same remedy is often useful in cases of long prepuce. when the glans penis is unusually tender and sensitive, this condition will usually be removed by the daily washing with soap and water necessary for cleanliness. if this does not suffice, or if there are slight excoriations caused by acrid secretions, apply, in addition, a weak solution of tannin in glycerine once a day. _impotence_.--loss of sexual power arising from any form of sexual excess, should be treated on the same general plan laid down for the treatment of emissions and other weaknesses. cold to the spine, and short, but frequent, local cold applications, are among the most useful remedies; but, probably, electricity, discreetly used, is by far the most valuable of all remedies. it should be applied both internally and externally. the use of cantharides and other aphrodisiac remedies to stimulate the sexual organs is a most pernicious practice. the inevitable result is still greater weakness. they should never be used under any circumstances whatever. on the contrary, everything of a stimulating character must be carefully avoided, even in diet. _varicocele_.--patients suffering from this difficulty should wear a proper suspensory bag, as the continued pressure of the distended veins upon the testes, if unsupported, will ultimately cause degenerative changes and atrophy. a surgical operation, consisting of the removal of a portion of the skin of the scrotum, is proper if the patient desires an operation; no other operation is advisable. the wearing of a suspensory bag is also advisable for those whose testicles are unusually pendulous. drugs, rings, etc.--if drugs, _per se_, will cure invalids of any class, they are certainly worthless in this class of patients. the whole materia medica affords no root, herb, extract, or compound that alone will cure a person suffering from emissions. thousands of unfortunates have been ruined by long-continued drugging. one physician will purge and salivate the patient. another will dose him with phosphorus, quinine, or ergot. another feeds him with iron. another plies him with lupuline, camphor, and digitaline. still another narcotizes him with opium, belladonna, and chloral. purgatives and diuretics are given by another, and some will be found ready to empty the whole pharmacopoeia into the poor sufferer's stomach if he can be got to open his mouth wide enough. the way that some of these poor fellows are blistered, and burned, and cauterized, and tortured in sundry other ways, is almost too horrible to think of; yet they endure it, often willingly, thinking it but just punishment for their sins, and perhaps hoping to expiate them by this cruel penance. by these procedures, the emissions are sometimes temporarily checked, but the patient is not cured, nevertheless, and the malady soon returns. the employment of rings, pessaries, and numerous other mechanical devices for preventing emissions, is entirely futile. no dependence can be placed upon them. some of these contrivances are very ingenious, but they are all worthless, and time and money spent upon them are thrown away. quacks.--the victims of self-abuse fall an easy prey to the hordes of harpies, fiends in human shape, who are ready at every turn to make capital out of their misfortunes. from no other class of persons do quacks and charlatans derive so rich a harvest as from these erring ones. it is not uncommon to find a man suffering from seminal weakness who has paid to sundry parties hundreds of dollars for "specifics" which they advertised as "sure cures." we have seen and treated scores of these patients, but never yet met a single case that had received benefit from patent medicines. the newspapers are full of the advertisements of these heartless villains. they advertise under the guise of "clergymen," charitable institutions, "cured invalids," and similar pretenses. usually they offer for sale some pill or mixture which will be a _sure cure_, in proof of which they cite the testimonials of numerous individuals who never lived, or, at least, never saw either them or their filthy compounds; or, they promise to send free a recipe which will be a certain cure. here is a specimen recipe which was sent by a "reverend" gentleman who claims to be a returned missionary from south america so intent on doing good that he charges nothing for his invaluable information:-- extract of corrossa apimis, " " selarmo umbelifera, powdered alkermes latifolia, extract of carsadoc herbalis. this remarkable recipe is warranted to cure all the evils arising from self-abuse, with no attention to diet and no inconvenience of any kind, to prevent consumption and insanity, and to cure venereal diseases. it is also declared to be a perfectly "_safe_" remedy for all female difficulties, which means that it will aid nefarious purposes. along with the recipe comes the suggestion that the druggist may not be able to furnish all the ingredients in a perfectly pure state, and so, for the accommodation of suffering humanity, this noble philanthropist has taken infinite pains to secure them direct from south america, and has them put up in neat little packages which he will send, post-paid, for the trifle of $ . , just one cent _less_ than actual cost. then he tells what purports to be the history of his own nastiness, with a generous spicing of pious cant, and closes with a benediction on all who have fallen into the same slough, and especially those who will send for his fabulous foreign weeds to help them out. a young man sees the advertisement of a book which will be sent free, postage paid, if he will only send his address. the title of the book being of some such character as "manhood regained," or "nervous debility," he imagines it may suit his case, and sends his name. return mail brings the book, which is a wretched jargon of confused terms and appalling descriptions of the effects of self-abuse, with the most shameful exaggerations of the significance of the most trivial symptoms. the ignorant youth reads what he supposes to be a description of his own case, and is frightened nearly to death. he is most happily relieved, however, to find that the generous publishers of the book have a remedy which is just adapted to his case, but which is so precious that it cannot be afforded at less than $ . for a sufficient quantity to effect a cure. he willingly parts with his hard-earned dollars, and gets, in return, some filthy mixture that did not cost a shilling. another trap set is called an "anatomical museum." the anatomical part of the exhibition consists chiefly of models and figures calculated to excite the passions to the highest pitch. at stated intervals the proprietor, who is always a "doctor," and by preference a german, delivers lectures on the effects of masturbation, in which he resorts to every device to excite the fears and exaggerate the symptoms of his hearers, who are mostly young men and boys. thus he prepares his victim, and when he once gets him within his clutches, he does not let him go until he has robbed him of his last dollar. we might present almost any number of illustrations of the ways in which these human sharks pursue their villainy. if there were a dungeon deep, dark, and dismal enough for the punishment of such rascals, we should feel strongly inclined to petition to have them incarcerated in it. they defy all laws, civil as well as moral, but are cunning enough to keep outside of prison bars; and thus they wax rich by robbery, and thrive by deceit. a terrible recompense awaits them at the final settlement, though they escape so easily now. closing advice.--we cannot finish this chapter without a few closing words of advice to those who are suffering in any way from the results of sexual transgression. we are especially anxious to call attention to a few points of practical and vital interest to all who are suffering in the manner indicated. . give the matter prompt attention. do not delay to adopt curative measures under the delusive idea that the difficulty will disappear of itself. thousands have procrastinated in this way until their constitutions have been so hopelessly undermined as to make treatment of little value. the intrinsic tendency of this disease is to continue to increase. it progresses only in one direction. it never "gets well of itself," as some have imagined that it may do. something must be done to effect a cure; and the longer treatment is delayed, the more difficult the case will become. . set about the work of getting well with a fixed determination to persevere, and never to give over the struggle until success is attained, no matter how difficult may be the obstacles to be surmounted. such an effort will rarely be unsuccessful. one of the greatest impediments to recovery from diseases of this class is the vacillating dispositions of nearly all patients suffering from disorders of this character. make up your mind what course of treatment to pursue, then adhere to it rigidly until it has received a thorough trial. do not despair if no very marked results are seen in a week, a month, or even a longer period. the best remedies are among those which operate the most slowly. . avoid watching for symptoms. ills are greatly exaggerated by dwelling upon them. one can easily imagine himself getting worse when he is really getting better. indeed, one can make himself sick by dwelling upon insignificant symptoms. fix upon a course to pursue for recovery, firmly resolve to comply with every requirement necessary to insure success, and then let the mind be entirely at rest respecting the result. . never consult a quack. the newspapers abound with lying advertisements of remedies for diseases of this character. do not waste time and money in corresponding with the ignorant, unprincipled charlatans who make such false pretensions. do not consult traveling doctors. physicians of real merit have plenty of business at home. they are not obliged to go abroad in order to secure practice. persons who resort to this course are, without exception, pretentious quacks. consult only some well-known and reliable physician in whom you have confidence. if your physician treats the matter lightly, and advises marriage as a means of cure, you will not judge him harshly if you decide that although he may be thoroughly competent to treat other diseases, he is ignorant of the nature and proper treatment of this. it is an unfortunate fact that there are many physicians who are not thoroughly acquainted with the nature of spermatorrhoea and the proper mode of treating the disease; hence the importance of making a judicious selection in choosing a medical adviser. if possible, employ one whom you know to have treated successfully numerous similar cases, and give him your entire confidence. it is far better to consult your family physician than to trust yourself in the hands of some one whom you do not know, and especially one who makes great pretensions to knowledge. . do not despair of ever recovering from the effects of past transgression, and plunge into greater depths of sin. persevering, skillful treatment will cure almost every case. even the worst cases can be greatly benefited if the earnest co-operation of the patient can be secured. this is indispensable, and the patient should be so instructed at the outset of a course of treatment. . every sufferer from sexual disease must make up his mind to live, during the remainder of his life, as closely in accord with the laws of life and health as circumstances under his control will allow him to do. one who pursues this course, with a genuine regard for principle and a love for right, may confidently expect to receive the reward of obedience for his faithfulness. we would recommend such to obtain and study the best works upon hygiene, put in practice every new truth as soon as learned, and become missionaries of the saving truths of hygiene to others who are suffering from the same cause as themselves, or who may be in danger of falling into the same evil. a chapter for boys. boys, this chapter is for you. it is written and printed purposely for you. if you do not read another word in the book, read these few pages if you are old enough to do so. read each line carefully and thoughtfully. you may not find anything to make you laugh--possibly you may: but you will be certain to find something of almost inestimable value to you in every line. who are boys?--boys are scarce now-a-days. in the days of methuselah, male human beings were still boys when nearly a century old; twenty-five years ago boys were still such until well out of their "teens"; now the interval between infancy and the age at which the boy becomes a young man is so brief that boyhood is almost a thing of the past. the happy period of care-free, joyous innocence which formerly intervened between childhood and early manhood is now almost unobservable. boys grow old too fast. they learn to imitate the vices and the manners of their seniors before they reach their teens, and are impatient to be counted as men, no matter how great may be their deficiencies, their unfitness for the important duties and responsibilities of life. the consequence of this inordinate haste and impatience to be old, is premature decay. unfortunately the general tendency of the young members of the rising generation is to copy the vices of their elders, rather than the virtues of true manliness. a strong evidence of this fact, if there were no other, is the unnaturally old-looking faces which so many of our boys present. at the present time the average boy of twelve knows more of vice and sin than the youth of twenty of the past generation. it is not so much for these human mushrooms, which may be not inaptly compared to toadstools which grow up in a single night and almost as speedily decay, that we write, but for the old-fashioned boys, the few such there may be, those who have not yet learned to love sin, those whose minds are still pure and uncontaminated. those who have already begun a course of vice and wickedness we have little hope of reforming; but we are anxious to offer a few words of counsel and warning which may possibly help to save as brands plucked from a blazing fire, those whose moral sense is yet alive, who have quick and tender consciences, who aspire to be truly noble and good. what are boys for?--this question was answered with exact truthfulness by a little boy, who, when contemptuously accosted by a man with the remark, "what are you good for?" replied, "men are made of such as we." boys are the beginnings of men. they sustain the same relation to men that the buds do to full-blown flowers. they are still more like the small green apples which first appear when the blossoms drop from the branches, compared with the ripe, luscious fruit which in autumn bends the heavy-laden boughs almost to breaking. often, like the young apples, boys are green; but this is only natural, and should be considered no disgrace to the boys. if they grow up naturally they will ripen with age, like the fruit, developing at each successive stage of life additional attractions and excellent qualities. boys the hope of the world.--a nation's most valuable property is its boys. a nation which has poor, weakly, vicious boys will have still weaker, more vicious and untrustworthy men. a country with noble, virtuous, vigorous boys, is equally sure of having noble, pious, brave, and energetic men. whatever debases, contaminates, or in any way injures the boys of a country, saps and undermines the very foundation of the nation's strength and greatness. save the boys from vice and crime, give them good training, physically, mentally, and morally, and the prosperity of the nation is assured. man the masterpiece.--when a skillful artist perfects a work of art, a painting, a drawing, a statue, or some other work requiring great talent and exceeding all his other efforts, it is called his masterpiece. so man is the noblest work of god, the masterpiece of the almighty. numerous anecdotes are told of the sagacity of dogs, horses, elephants and other animals, of their intelligence and ingenious devices in overcoming obstacles, avoiding difficulties, etc. our admiration and wonder are often excited by the scarcely less than human wisdom shown by these lowly brothers of the human race. we call them noble animals; but they are only noble brutes, at best. compared with man, even in his most humble form, as seen in the wild savage that hunts and devours his prey like a wild beast, a lion or a tiger, they are immeasurably inferior. and in his highest development, man civilized, cultivated, christianized, learned, generous, pious, certainly stands at the head of all created things. boys, do you love what is noble, what is pure, what is grand, what is good? you may each, if you will, become such yourselves. let us consider for a moment how a noble character is ruined.--a noble character is formed by the development of the good qualities of an individual. a bad character is formed by the development of bad traits, or evil propensities. in other words, sin is the cause of the demoralization of character, the debasing of the mind, the loss of nobility of which we see so much around us in the world. sin is the transgression of some law. there are two kinds of sins: those which are transgressions of the moral law, and those which are transgressions of physical laws. both classes of sins are followed by penalties. if a person violates the laws of health, he is just as certain to suffer as though he tells a falsehood, steals, murders, or commits any other crime. perfect obedience to all of nature's laws, including of course all moral laws, is necessary to perfect health and perfect nobleness of character. the nature of these laws and the results of transgression will be understood after we have taken a hasty glance at the marvelous human machine which we call the body. all the inventions and devices ever constructed by the human hand or conceived by the human mind, no matter how delicate, how intricate and complicated, are simple, childish toys compared with that most marvelously wrought mechanism, the human body. let us proceed to take this wonderful machine in pieces and study its various parts and the manner in which they are put together. the two objects of human existence.--the objects of this wonderfully formed mechanism are two: . the maintenance of an individual life; . the production of similar individuals which shall also have the power of maintaining individual lives. the same may be said of every plant that grows, and every animal. each tree, plant, and shrub has some useful service to perform while it lives, in addition to the production of seed from which other plants may grow. for example, the object of the majestic oak which towers high and broadly spreads its leafy branches is not to produce acorns merely, but to give place for birds to build their nests, to present an inviting shade for cattle, and to afford protection in a variety of ways to numerous living creatures which need such aid. the same may be said of all vegetable growths, each particular plant having its peculiar purposes to fulfill, and all together acting as purifiers of the air for the benefit of man and lower animals. the principle is equally true as applied to lower animals, as is evidenced by the numerous ways in which domestic animals are utilized. indeed, it seems that the prime purpose of life, not only with all lowly living creatures, as plants and animals, but with man as well, is to live and act as individuals. but the important function of reproduction, or producing other similar individuals, though incidental, is necessary to the perpetuation of the race or species. in order that an individual human being may live and develop, it is necessary that he should eat, drink, digest, and assimilate, and that he should be able to move about, to perceive,--that is, to hear, see, feel, smell, taste, determine weight and distinguish temperature,--to think, and to express ideas in language. in order to keep his vital machinery in order, it is necessary that the body should also be able to repair injuries which may occur in consequence of wear or accident, and to remove out of the way wornout material which would otherwise obstruct the working of the delicate machinery of which his body is constructed. each of these functions requires special organs and apparatuses to carry on the work; and these we will now briefly consider:-- the nutritive apparatus.--this consists of organs for the purpose of taking in food or nourishment, digesting it, and distributing it throughout the body wherever it is needed. these are chiefly the mouth and teeth for receiving and chewing the food, the stomach and intestines for digesting and absorbing it, and the heart and blood-vessels for distributing it to the body. the moving apparatus.--for the purpose of producing motion, we have the muscles and the bones, by which the food is received, masticated, and swallowed, the blood circulated, the body moved about from place to place, and speech, expression, respiration, and many other important functions performed. the thinking and feeling apparatus.--the brain and nerves afford the means of thinking and feeling, also giving rise to all the activities of the body by the production of nerve force. to aid the brain and nerves, we have special organs provided, termed the organs of special sense; as the eye for sight, the ear for hearing, the nose for the detection of odors, the tongue for tasting, the skin and the mucous membrane for the sense of touch. the purifying apparatus.--waste matter accumulates in the body so rapidly that it is necessary to have abundant and efficient means to remove the same, and prevent death by obstruction. this work is performed by the lungs, liver, kidneys, skin, and mucous membrane. each organ and tissue possesses the power to repair itself. animal heat, which is also necessary to life, is not produced by any special set of organs, but results incidentally from the various other processes named. the reproductive apparatus.--as there is a stomach to digest, a brain to think, a pair of lungs to breathe, etc., so there are special organs for reproducing the species or producing new individuals. these organs have been carefully described in the preceding portion of this volume, so that we do not need to repeat the description here. unlike all the other organs of the body, they are intended for use only after full development or manhood has been attained; consequently, they are only partially developed in childhood, becoming perfected as the person becomes older, especially after about the age of fourteen to eighteen, when puberty occurs. the lungs, the stomach, the muscles, and other organs must be used constantly from the earliest period of infancy, hence they are developed sufficiently for efficient use at birth. the fact that the sexual or reproductive organs are only fully developed later on in life, is sufficient evidence that they are intended for use only when the body has become fully mature and well developed. how a noble character and a sound body must be formed.--by obeying all the laws which relate to the healthy action of the body and the mind, a noble character and a healthy body may be formed. any deviation from right will be sure to be followed by suffering. a boy who carefully heeds the advice of good and wise parents, who avoids bad company, who never indulges in bad habits of any sort, who cultivates purity, honesty, and manliness, is certain to grow up into a noble, lovely youth, and to become an intelligent, respected, virtuous man. the down-hill road.--in every large city, and in small ones too, even in little villages, we can scarcely step upon the street without being pained at meeting little boys who have perhaps scarcely learned to speak distinctly, but whose faces show very plainly that they have already taken several steps down the steep hillside of vice. all degrees of wickedness are pictured on the faces of a large proportion of the boys we meet upon the streets, loitering about the corners, loafing in hotels, groceries, and about bar-room doors. everywhere we meet small faces upon which sin and vice are as clearly written as though the words were actually spelled out. lying, swearing, smoking, petty stealing, and brazen impudence are among the vices which contaminate thousands and thousands of the boys who are by-and-by to become the _men_ of this country, to constitute its legislators, its educators, its supporters, and its protectors. is it possible that such boys can become good, useful, noble, trustworthy men? scarcely. if the seeds of noxious weeds can be made to produce useful plants or beautiful flowers, or if a barren, worthless shrub can be made to bear luscious fruit, then may we expect to see these vicious boys grow up into virtuous, useful men. but the vices mentioned are not the worst, the traces of which we see stamped upon the faces of hundreds of boys, some of whom, too, would scorn to commit any one of the sins named. there is another vice, still more terrible, more blighting in its effects, a vice which defiles, diseases, and destroys the body, enervates, degrades, and finally dethrones the mind, debases and ruins the soul. it is to this vice that we wish especially to call attention. it is known as self-abuse.--secret vice, masturbation, and self-pollution are other names applied to this same awful sin against nature and against god. we shall not explain here the exact nature of the sin, as very few boys are so ignorant or so innocent as to be unacquainted with it. to this sin and its awful consequences we now wish to call the attention of all who may read these lines. a dreadful sin.--the sin of self-pollution is one of the vilest, the basest, and the most degrading that a human being can commit. it is worse than beastly. those who commit it place themselves far below the meanest brute that breathes. the most loathsome reptile, rolling in the slush and slime of its stagnant pool, would not bemean itself thus. it is true that monkeys sometimes have the habit, but only when they have been taught it by vile men or boys. a boy who is thus guilty ought to be ashamed to look into the eyes of an honest dog. such a boy naturally shuns the company of those who are pure and innocent. he cannot look with assurance into his mother's face. it is difficult for any one to catch his eye, even for a few seconds. he feels his guilt and acts it out, thus making it known to every one. let such a boy think how he must appear in the eyes of the almighty. let him only think of the angels, pure, innocent, and holy, who are eye-witnesses of his shameful practices. is not the thought appalling? would he dare commit such a sin in the presence of his father, his mother, or his sisters? no, indeed. how, then, will he dare to defile himself in the presence of him from whose all-seeing eye nothing is hid? the bible utters the most solemn warnings against sexual sins. the inhabitants of sodom and gomorrah were destroyed by fire and brimstone for such transgressions. onan was struck dead in the act of committing a vileness of this sort. for similar vices the wicked inhabitants of palestine were destroyed, and their lands given to the hebrews. for a single violation of the seventh commandment, one of the most notable bible characters, david, suffered to the day of his death. those who imagine that this sin is not a transgression of the seventh commandment may be assured that this most heinous, revolting, and unnatural vice is in every respect more pernicious, more debasing, and more immoral than what is generally considered as violation of the commandment which says, "thou shalt not commit adultery," and is itself a most flagrant violation of the same commandment. those who imagine that they "have a right to do as they please with themselves," so long as no one else is immediately affected, must learn that we are not our own masters; we belong to our creator, and are accountable to god not only for the manner in which we treat our fellow-men, but for how we treat ourselves, for the manner in which we use the bodies which he has given us. the man who commits suicide, who takes his own life, is a murderer as much as he who kills a fellow-man. so, also, he who pollutes himself in the manner we are considering, violates the seventh commandment, although the crime is in both cases committed against himself. think of this, ye youth who defile yourselves in secret and seek to escape the punishment of sin. in heaven a faithful record of your vile commandment-breaking is kept, and you must meet it by-and-by. you are fixing your fate for eternity; and each daily act in some degree determines what it shall be. are you a victim of this fascinating vice, stop, repent, reform, before you are forever ruined, a mental, moral, and physical wreck. self-murderers.--of all the vices to which human beings are addicted, no other so rapidly undermines the constitution and so certainly makes a complete wreck of an individual as this, especially when the habit is begun at an early age. it wastes the most precious part of the blood, uses up the vital forces, and finally leaves the poor victim a most utterly ruined and loathsome object. if a boy should be deprived of both hands and feet and should lose his eyesight, he would still be infinitely better off than the boy who for years gives himself up to the gratification of lust in secret vice. for such a boy to become a strong, vigorous man is just as impossible as it would be to make a mammoth tree out of a currant bush. such a man will necessarily be short-lived. he will always suffer from the effects of his folly, even though he shall marry. if he has children--he may become incapable--they will be quite certain to be puny, weak, scrofulous, consumptive, rickety, nervous, depraved in body and mind, or otherwise deprived of the happiness which grows out of the possession of "a sound mind in a sound body." let us notice a little more closely the terrible effects resulting from this most unnatural and abominable vice. what makes boys dwarfs.--how many times have we seen boys who were born with good constitutions, with force and stamina sufficient to develop them into large, vigorous men, become puny dwarfs. at the time when they ought to begin to grow and develop more rapidly than ever before, their growth is checked and they cease to develop. they are, in fact, stunted, dwarfed, like a plant which has a canker-worm eating away at its roots. indeed, there is a veritable canker-worm sapping their vitality, undermining their constitutions, and destroying their prospects for time and for eternity. anxious friends may attribute the unhappy change to overwork, overstudy, or some similar cause; but from a somewhat extended observation we are thoroughly convinced that the very vice which we are considering is the viper which blights the prospects and poisons the existence of many of these promising boys. a boy who gives himself up to the practice of secret vice at an early age, say as early as seven to ten years of age, is certain to make himself a wreck. instead of having a healthy, vigorous body, with strong muscles and a hardy constitution, he will be weak, scrawny, sickly, always complaining, never well, and will never know anything about that joyous exuberance of life and animal spirits which the young antelope feels as it bounds over the plain, or the vigorous young colt as it frisks about its pasture, and which every youth ought to feel. scrawny, hollow-eyed boys.--boys ought to be fresh and vigorous as little lambs. they ought to be plump, rosy, bright-eyed, and sprightly. a boy who is pale, scrawny, hollow-eyed, dull, listless, has something the matter with him. self-abuse makes thousands of just such boys every year; and it is just such boys that make vicious, shiftless, haggard, unhappy men. this horrible vice steals away the health and vitality which are needed to develop the body and the mind; and the lad that ought to make his mark in the world, that ought to become a distinguished statesman, orator, clergyman, physician, or author, becomes little more than a living animal, a mere shadow of what he ought to have been. old boys.--often have we felt sad when we have heard fond mothers speaking in glowing terms of the old ways of their sons, and rather glorying that they looked so much older than they were. in nine cases out of ten these old-looking boys owe their appearance to this vile habit; for it is exceedingly common, and its dreadful effects in shriveling and dwarfing and destroying the human form are too plainly perceptible, when present, to be mistaken. oh! this dreadful curse! why will so many of our bright, innocent boys pollute themselves with it! what makes idiots.--reader, have you ever seen an idiot? if you have, the hideous picture will never be dissipated from your memory. the vacant stare, the drooping, drooling mouth, the unsteady gait, the sensual look, the emptiness of mind,--all these you will well remember. did you ever stop to think how idiots are made? it is by this very vice that the ranks of these poor daft mortals are being recruited every day. every visitor to an insane asylum sees scores of them; ruined in mind and body, only the semblance of a human being, bereft of sense, lower than a beast in many respects, a human being hopelessly lost to himself and to the world!--oh, most terrible thought!--yet once pure, intelligent, active, perhaps the hope of a fond mother, the pride of a doting father, and possibly possessed of natural ability to become greatly distinguished in some of the many noble and useful walks of life; now sunk below the brute through the degrading, destroying influence of a lustful gratification. boys, are you guilty of this terrible sin? have you even once in this way yielded to the tempter's voice? stop, consider, think of the awful results, repent, confess to god, reform. another step in that direction and you may be lost, soul and body. you cannot dally with the tempter. you must escape now or never. don't delay. young dyspeptics.--if we leave out of the consideration the effects of bad food and worse cookery, there is in our estimation no other cause so active in occasioning the early breaking down of the digestive organs of our american boys. a boy of ten or twelve years of age ought to have a stomach capable of digesting anything not absolutely indigestible; but there are to-day thousands and thousands of boys of that age whose stomachs are so impaired as to be incapable of digesting any but the most simple food. the digestion being ruined, the teeth soon follow suit. hardly one boy in a dozen has perfectly sound teeth. with a bad stomach and bad teeth, a foundation for disease is laid which is sure to result in early decay of the whole body. in this awful vice do we find a cause, too, for the thousands of cases of consumption in young men. at the very time when they ought to be in their prime, they break down in health and become helpless invalids for life, or speedily sink into an early grave. upon their tombstones might justly be graven, "here lies a self-murderer." providence is not to blame; nor is climate, weather, overwork, overstudy, or any other even seemingly plausible cause, to be blamed. their own sins have sunk them in mental, moral, and physical perdition. such a victim literally dies by his own hand, a veritable suicide. appalling thought! it is a grand thing to die for one's principles, a martyr to his love of right and truth. one may die blameless who is the victim of some dire contagious malady which he could not avoid; even the poor, downcast misanthrope whose hopes are blighted and whose sorrows multiplied, may possibly be in some degree excused for wishing to end his misery with his life; but the wretched being who sheds his life-blood by the disgusting maneuvers of self-pollution--what can be said to extenuate _his_ guilt? his is a double crime. let him pass from the memory of his fellow-men. he will perish, overwhelmed with his own vileness. let him die, and return to the dust from which he sprang. the race ruined by boys.--the human race is growing steadily weaker year by year. the boys of to-day would be no match in physical strength for the sturdy youths of a century ago who are now their grandparents. an immense amount of skillful training enables now and then one to accomplish some wonderful feat of walking, rowing, or swimming, but we hear very little of remarkable feats of labor accomplished by our modern boys. even the country boys of to-day cannot endure the hard work which their fathers accomplished at the same age; and we doubt not that this growing physical weakness is one of the reasons why so large a share of the boys whose fathers are farmers, and who have been reared on farms, are unwilling to follow the occupation of their fathers for a livelihood. they are too weakly to do the work required by an agricultural life, even by the aid of the numerous labor-saving inventions of the age. what is it that is undermining the health of the race and sapping the constitutions of our american men? no doubt much may be attributed to the unnatural refinements of civilization in several directions; but there can be no doubt that vice is the most active cause of all. secret sin and its kindred vices yearly ruin more constitutions than hard work, severe study, hunger, cold, privation, and disease combined. boys, the destiny of the race is in your hands. you can do more than all the doctors, all the scientists and most eminent political men in the world, to secure the prosperity and future greatness of the nation, by taking care of yourselves, by being pure, noble, true to yourselves and to the demands of high moral principle. cases illustrating the effects of self-abuse.--the land is full of poor human wrecks who have dashed in pieces their hopes for this world, and too often for the next also, against this hideous rock which lies hidden in the pathway of every young man who starts out upon life's stormy voyage. gladly would we draw the veil and cover them with all their dreadful deformities with the mantle of charity from the gaze of their fellow-beings; but their number is so great that this could scarcely be done, and the lesson to be learned from their sad fate is such a grave one, and so needful for the good of the generation of young men who are just encountering the same dangers, that we cannot resist the promptings of duty to present a few examples of the effects of vice in men and boys that have fallen under our own observation. we have seen hundreds of cases of this sort; have treated many scores of persons for the effects of the terrible crime which we are seeking to sound a warning against, and the number of cases we might describe would fill a volume; but we will select only a very few. two young wrecks.--charles and oscar b---- were the sons of a farmer in a western state, aged respectively ten and twelve years. they possessed well-formed heads, and once had beautiful faces, and were as bright and sprightly as any little boys of their age to be found anywhere. their father was proud of them, and their fond mother took great pleasure in building bright prospects for her darling sons when they should attain maturity and become competent to fill useful and honorable positions in the world. living in a rapidly-growing western community, they had every prospect of growing up to honorable usefulness, a comfort to their parents, a blessing to the world, and capable of enjoying life in the highest degree. but suddenly certain manifestations appeared which gave rise to grave apprehensions on the part of the parents. it was observed that the elder of the little boys no longer played about with that nimbleness which he had formerly shown, but seemed slow and stiff in his movements. sometimes, indeed, he would stagger a little when he walked. soon, also, his speech became affected in some degree; he mumbled his words and could not speak distinctly. in spite of all that could be done, the disease continued, increasing slowly in all its symptoms from week to week. soon the hands, also, became affected, so that the little boy could not feed himself. the mind now began to fail. the bright eyes became vacant and expressionless. instead of the merry light which used to shine in them, there was a blank, idiotic stare. imagine the grief and anguish of the poor mother! no one but a mother who has been called to pass through a similar trial could know how to sympathize with such a one. her darling son she saw daily becoming a prey to a strange, incurable malady, with no power even to stay the progress of the terrible disease. but there was still greater grief in store for her. within a year or two the younger son began to show symptoms of the same character, and in spite of all that was done, rapidly sank into the same helpless state as his brother. as a last resort, the mother took her boys and came a long journey to place her sons under our care. at that time they were both nearly helpless. neither could walk but a few steps. they reeled and staggered about like drunken men, falling down upon each other and going through the most agonizing contortions in their attempts to work their way from one chair to another and thus about the room. their heads were no longer erect, but drooped like wilted flowers. on their faces was a blank, imbecile expression, with a few traces of former intelligence still left. the mouth was open, from the drooping of the lower jaw, and the saliva constantly dribbled upon the clothing. altogether, it was a spectacle which one does not care to meet every day; the impression made was too harrowing to be pleasant even from its interest from a scientific point of view. we at once set to work to discover the cause of this dreadful condition, saying to ourselves that such an awful punishment should certainly be the result of some gross violation of nature's laws somewhere. the most careful scrutiny of the history of the parents of the unfortunate lads gave us no clue to anything of an hereditary character, both parents having come of good families, and having been always of sober, temperate habits. the father had used neither liquor nor tobacco in any form. the mother could give no light on the matter, and we were obliged to rest for the time being upon the conviction which fastened itself upon us that the cases before us were most marked illustrations of the results of self-abuse begun at a very early age. the mother thought it impossible that our suspicions could be correct, saying that she had watched her sons with jealous care from earliest infancy and had seen no indications of any error of the sort. but we had not long to wait for confirmation of our view of the case, as they were soon caught in the act, to which it was found that they were greatly addicted, and the mystery was wholly solved. every possible remedy was used to check the terrible disease which was preying upon the unfortunate boys, but in vain. at times the symptoms would be somewhat mitigated, and the most sanguine hopes of the fond, watching mother would be excited, but in vain. the improvement always proved to be but temporary, and the poor sufferers would speedily relapse into the same dreadful condition again, and gradually grew worse. at last, the poor mother was obliged to give up all hope, in utter despair watching the daily advances of the awful malady which inch by inch destroyed the life, the humanity, the very mind and soul of her once promising sons. sadly she took them back to her western home, there to see them suffer, perhaps for years before death should kindly release them, the terrible penalty of sin committed almost before they had arrived at years of responsibility. how these mere infants learned the vice we were never able to determine. we have no doubt that opportunities sufficient were presented them, as the parents seemed to have very little appreciation of danger from this source. had greater vigilance been exercised, we doubt not that the discovery of the vice at the beginning would have resulted in the salvation of these two beautiful boys, who were sacrificed upon the altar of concupiscence. two or three years after we first saw the cases, we heard from them, and though still alive, their condition was almost too horrible for description. three or four similar cases have come to our knowledge. boys, are you guilty? think of the fearful fate of these boys, once as joyous and healthy as you. when you are tempted to sin, think of the fearful picture of the effects of sin which they present. have you ever once dared to commit this awful sin? stop, never dare to do the thing again. take a solemn vow before god to be pure. your fate may be as sad, your punishment as terrible. no one can tell what the results may be. absolute purity is the only safe course. a prodigal youth.--a. m., son of a gentleman of wealth in ohio, early acquired the evil practice which has ruined so many bright lads. he was naturally an intelligent and prepossessing lad, and his father gave him as good an education as he could be induced to acquire, affording him most excellent opportunities for study and improvement. but the vile habit which had been acquired at an early age speedily began its blighting influence. it destroyed his taste for study and culture. his mind dwelt upon low and vile subjects. he grew restless of home restraint and surroundings, and finally left the parental roof. wandering from city to city he grew rapidly worse, sinking into deeper depths of vice, until finally he became a base, besotted, wretched creature. broken down in health by his sins, he could no longer enjoy even the worst sensual pleasures, and with no taste for or capability of appreciating anything higher he was most wretched indeed. the poor fellow now fell into the hands of quacks. his kind father sent him money in answer to his pitiful appeals for help, and he went anxiously from one to another of the wretched villains who promise relief to such sufferers but only rob them of their money and leave them worse than before. at last, in total despair of everything else, the poor fellow came to us. he seemed quite broken-hearted and penitent for his sins, and really appeared to want to lead a better life if he could only be made well again. we faithfully pointed out to him the dreadful wickedness of his course, and the fact that a cure could only be effected by the most implicit obedience to all of nature's laws during his whole future life. indeed, we were obliged to inform him of the sad fact that he could never be as well as before, that he must always suffer in consequence of his dreadful course of transgression. we gave him a most earnest exhortation to begin the work of reform where alone it could be effectual, by reforming his heart, and the tears which coursed down his sin-scarred cheeks seemed to indicate true penitence and a real desire to return to the paths of purity and peace. earnestly we labored for this young man, for months, employing every means in our power to lift him from the slough of sin and vice upon the solid pathway of virtue and purity again. gradually the hard lines on his face seemed to lessen in intensity. the traces of vice and crime seemed to be fading out by degrees. we began to entertain hopes of his ultimate recovery. but alas! in an evil moment, through the influence of bad companions, he fell, and for some time we lost sight of him. a long time afterward we caught a glimpse of his bloated, sin-stained face, just as he was turning to skulk away to avoid recognition. where this poor human wreck is now leading his miserable existence we cannot say, but have no doubt he is haunting the dens of iniquity and sin in the cities, seeking to find a little momentary pleasure in the gratification of his appetites and passions. a hopeless wreck, with the lines of vice and crime drawn all over his tell-tale countenance, he dares not go home, for he fears to meet the reproachful glance of his doting mother, and the scornful looks of his brothers and sisters. we never saw a more thoroughly unhappy creature. he is fully conscious of his condition; he sees himself to be a wreck, in mind, in body, and knows that he is doomed to suffer still more in consequence of his vices. he has no hope for this world or the next. his mother gave him earnest, pious instructions, which he has never forgotten, though he has long tried to smother them. he now looks forward with terror to the fate which he well knows awaits all evil-doers, and shudders at the thought, but seems powerless to enter the only avenue which affords a chance of escape. he is so tormented with the pains and diseased conditions which he has brought upon himself by vice that he often looks to self-destruction as a grateful means of escape; but then comes the awful foreboding of future punishment, and his hand is stayed. ashamed to meet his friends, afraid to meet his maker, he wanders about, an exile, an outcast, a hopeless wreck. young man, youth, have you taken the first step on this evil road? if so, take warning by the fate of this young man. at once "cease to do evil and learn to do well," before, like him, you lose the power to do right, before your will is paralyzed by sin so that when you desire to do right, to reform, your will and power to execute your good determinations will fail to support your effort. barely escaped.--l. r. of h----, a young man of about twenty-five years of age, presented himself for treatment, a few years ago, for the consequence of self-abuse. having been taught the habit by evil companions when just emerging into manhood, he had indulged his passions without restraint for several years, not knowing the evil consequences until he began to suffer the effects of sin. then, being warned by his own experience and by the fortunate thoughtfulness of an intelligent friend who surmised his condition and told him faithfully of the terrible results of the vile habit, he made a manly effort to reform and claimed to have wholly broken the habit. to his great grief he found, however, that the years in which he had devoted himself to sin had wrought sad havoc in his system. in many ways his health was greatly deranged and his once powerful constitution was broken down. the sexual organs themselves were greatly diseased, so much so that a serious and painful surgical operation was necessary. with shame and mortification he looked upon his past life and saw what a hideous work of evil he had wrought. his vileness stood out before him in a vivid light, and he felt ashamed to meet the gaze of his fellows. after performing the necessary surgical operation upon this poor unfortunate, we dealt faithfully with him, pointing out to him the way by which he might with proper effort in some degree redeem himself by a life-long struggle against every form of impurity. he felt, and rightly, that the task was a most severe one. he well knew that the stamp of sin was on his countenance, and in his mind. thoughts long allowed to run upon vile subjects, forming filthy pictures in the imagination, are not easily brought back to the channel of purity and virtue. the mind that has learned to love to riot in impure dreams, does not readily acquire a love for the opposite. but he determined to make a brave and earnest effort, and we have every reason to believe that he has, in a measure at least, succeeded. but, if so, he has made a narrow escape. a few more years of sin, and his rescue would have been impossible; both mind and body would have been sunk so deep in the mire of concupiscence that none but almighty power could have saved him from utter destruction. thousands of boys and young men are to-day standing on the slippery brink of that awful precipice from which but very few are snatched away. soon they will plunge headlong over into the abyss of debasement and corruption from whence they will never escape. oh that we had the power to reach each one of these unfortunate youth before it is too late, and to utter in their ears such warnings, to portray before them such pictures of the sure results of a course of sin, that they might be turned back to the paths of chastity and virtue before they have become such mental, moral, and physical wrecks as we every day encounter in the walks of life. but not one in a thousand can be reached when they have gone so far in sin. when they have ventured once, they can rarely be checked in their downward course until great harm has been wrought which it will require the work of years to undo. the young man we have referred to made indeed a narrow escape, but no one can safely run such a risk. even he must suffer all his life the consequences of a few years of sin. a lost soul.--m. m., of ----, was the son of a mechanic in humble circumstances. he was an only child, and his parents spared no pains to do all in their power to insure his becoming a good and useful man. good school advantages were given him, and at a proper age he was put to learn a trade. he succeeded fairly, and their hopes of his becoming all that they could desire were great, when he suddenly began to manifest peculiar symptoms. he had attended a religious revival and seemed much affected, professing religion and becoming a member of a church. to the exercises of his mind on the subject of religion his friends attributed his peculiar actions, which soon became so strange as to excite grave fears that his mind was seriously affected. at times he was wild, showing such unmistakable evidences of insanity that even his poor mother, who was loth to believe the sad truth, was forced to admit that he was deranged. after a few months a change came over him which encouraged his friends to think that he was recovering. he became quiet and tractable, never manifesting the furious symptoms before observed. but the deception was only temporary, for it was soon evident that the change was simply the result of the progress of the disease and denoted the failure of the mental powers and the approach of imbecility. in this condition was the young man when he came under our care. we felt strongly impressed from our first examination of the case that it was one of sexual abuse; but we were assured by his friends in the most emphatic manner that such was an impossibility. it was claimed that the most scrupulous care had been bestowed upon him, and that he had been so closely watched that it was impossible that he should have been guilty of so gross a vice. his friends were disposed to attribute his sad condition to excessive exercise of mind upon religious subjects. not satisfied with this view of the case, we set a close watch upon him, and within a week his nurse reported that he had detected him in the act of self-pollution, when he confessed the truth, not yet being so utterly devoid of sense as to have lost his appreciation of the sinfulness of the act. when discovered, he exclaimed, "i know i have made myself a fool," which was the exact truth. at this time the once bright and intelligent youth had become so obtuse and stupid that he appeared almost senseless. his face wore an idiotic expression which was rarely lighted up by a look of intelligence. it was only by the greatest exertion that he could be made to understand or to respond when spoken to. in whatever position he was placed, whether lying, sitting, or standing, no matter how constrained or painful, he would remain for hours, staring vacantly, and fixed and immovable as a statue. his countenance was blank and expressionless except at rare intervals. his lips were always parted, and the saliva ran from the corners of his mouth down upon his clothing. the calls of nature were responded to involuntarily, soiling constantly his clothing and bedding in a most disgusting manner, and requiring the constant attention of a nurse to keep him in anything like a wholesome condition. we did what we could to relieve this poor victim of unhallowed lust, but soon became convinced that no human arm could save from utter ruin this self-destroyed soul. at our suggestion the young man was removed to be placed in an institution devoted to the care of imbeciles and lunatics. the last we heard of the poor fellow he was still sinking into lower depths of physical and mental degradation,--a soul utterly lost and ruined. how many thousands of young men who might have been useful members of society, lawyers, clergymen, statesmen, scientists, have thus sunk into the foul depths of the quagmire of vice, to rise no more forever! oh, awful fate! the human eye never rests upon a sadder sight than a ruined soul, a mind shattered and debased by vice. the results of one transgression.--the following case is a good illustration of the fact that a long course of transgression is not necessary to occasion the most serious results. a young man from an eastern state who visited us for treatment was suffering with the usual consequences of self-abuse, but he asserted in the most emphatic manner that he had never committed the act of self-pollution but once in his life. he had, however, after that one vile act, allowed his mind to run upon vile thoughts, giving loose rein to his imagination, and in consequence he found himself as badly off, suffering with the very same disorders, as those who had practiced the vice for some time. not the slightest dallying with sin is safe. the maintenance of perfect purity and chastity of body and mind is the only right and safe course. by a few months' treatment the young man recovered his health in a great measure, and, marrying an estimable young lady, settled down happily in life. many tears of remorse and repentance did he shed over that one sinful act, and bitterly did he reproach the evil companion who taught him to sin; but he was fortunate enough to escape without suffering the worst effects of sin, and is now living happily. a hospital case.--one of the most wretched creatures we ever saw among the many sufferers from sexual excesses whom we have met, was a man of about thirty years of age whom we found in the large charity hospital on blackwell's island, new york city. in consequence of long indulgence in the soul-and-body destroying habit, he had brought upon himself not only the most serious and painful disease of the sexual organs themselves, but disease of the bladder and other adjacent organs. he was under severe and painful treatment for a long time without benefit, and finally a surgical operation was performed, but with the result of affording only partial relief. an old offender.--never were we more astonished than at the depth of depravity revealed to us by the confessions of a patient from a distant country who was upwards of sixty years of age and was yet a victim of the vile habit to which he had become addicted when a youth. the stamp of vice was on his face, and was not hidden by the lines made by advancing age. the sufferings which this ancient sinner endured daily in consequence of his long course of sin were sometimes fearful to behold; and yet he continued the habit in spite of all warnings, advice, and every influence which could be brought to bear upon him. so long had he transgressed, he had lost his sense of shame and his appreciation of the vileness of sin, and it was impossible to reform him by any means which could be brought to bear upon him. he left us still a sufferer, though somewhat relieved, and, we have every reason to believe, as vile a sinner as ever. undoubtedly, before this time his worthless life is ended, and he has gone down into a sinner's grave, hoary with vice. a terrible end. the sad end of a young victim.--c. l., a young man residing in a large southern city, was the youngest son of parents who were in moderate circumstances, but appreciated the value of education, and were anxious to give their children every advantage possible for them to receive. with this end in view, the young man was sent to college, where he did well for a time, being naturally studious and intelligent; but after a brief period he began to drop behind his classes. he seemed moody and obtuse. he could not complete his tasks even by the most severe application. it seemed impossible for him to apply himself. the power of concentration appeared to be lost. soon he was seized by fits of gloominess from which he did not seem to have power to free himself. his strength began to fail to such a degree that he could hardly drag himself to his meals, and at last he was almost confined to his room. he became greatly emaciated. the failure of his mental powers seemed to keep pace with the wasting of his body, so that it was soon evident that he must abandon all hope of pursuing his studies for some time at least. his case being brought to our notice, we gave him every attention possible, and spared no effort to rescue him from his condition. we readily perceived the cause of his troubles, but for a long time he did not acknowledge the truth. at last he confessed that he had sinned for years in the manner suspected, and was suffering the consequences. a knowledge of his guilt weighed upon him and haunted him day and night. he promised to reform; but if he did, it was too late, for the wasting disease which was fastened upon him continued. at his mother's request he returned to his home, and a few weeks later we received the awful intelligence that he had ended his miserable life by blowing out his brains with a pistol. thus tragically ended the career of this young man, who might, with the advantages afforded him, have become a useful member of society. in total despair of this life or the next, he rashly ended his probation, and with his own hand finished the work of destruction which he had himself begun. no words can tell the grief of his stricken mother; but, fortunately, she was spared the knowledge of the whole truth, else would her sorrow have been too great to bear. from bad to worse.--c. e., a young man from the west, was sent to us by his father with the request that we would do what we could to save him. his father's letter intimated that the son had been a source of grief to him, but he hoped that he had repented of his prodigal course, and was really determined to reform. though scarcely more than twenty years of age, the young man's face wore an aspect of hardness, from familiarity with vice, that we have rarely seen. he was reduced to a mere skeleton by the vice which he made no secret of, and was so weak that he could scarcely walk a rod. it seemed as if every organ in his body was diseased, and that he had so squandered his vital resources that he had no power to rally from his wretched condition even should he carry out the determination to reform which he announced. however, we gave him the best counsel and advice within our power, and placed him under treatment. after a few weeks it was evident that nature was still willing to respond to his endeavors to reform, by vigorous efforts to restore him to a condition of comparative health. thus he was snatched, as it appeared, from the very jaws of death. under these circumstances it would seem that the most hardened criminal would reform, at least for a season, and lead a life of rectitude; but so utterly depraved was this poor wretch that no sooner did he find that he was not liable to die immediately than he began at once again his career of sin. by long indulgence his moral sense had become, apparently, obliterated. he seemed to be utterly without the restraint imposed by conscience. in less than a month he was detected in the crime of theft, having stolen a watch from a fellow-patient. upon his arrest, stimulated by the hope of in some degree mitigating his punishment, he confessed to have been carrying on a series of petty thieving for weeks before he was finally detected, having scores of stolen articles in his possession. the last time we saw the wretched fellow he was being led away in irons to prison. we have since heard that he continues in his downward career, having served out his time in prison, and will undoubtedly end his life in a felon's cell unless he is shrewd enough to escape his just deserts. having lost all desire to do right, to be noble, pure, and good, all efforts to reform and restore him to the path of rectitude were fruitless. it was only the fear of impending death that caused him to pause for a few days in his criminal course. young man, take warning by this sad case; enter not the pathway of vice. a course of vice once entered upon is not easily left. a youth who once gives himself up to sin, rarely escapes from going headlong to destruction. an indignant father.--a case came to our knowledge through a gentleman who brought his daughter to us for treatment for the effects of self-abuse, of a father who adopted a summary method of curing his son of the evil practice. having discovered that the lad was a victim of the vile habit, and having done all in his power by punishment, threats, and representations of its terrible effects, but without inducing him to reform, the father, in a fit of desperation, seized the sinful boy and with his own hand performed upon him the operation of castration as he would have done upon a colt. the boy recovered from the operation, and was of course effectually cured of his vile habit. the remedy was efficient, though scarcely justifiable. even a father has no right thus to mutilate his own son, though we must confess that the lad's chances for becoming a useful man are fully as good as they would have been had he continued his course of sin. disgusted with life.--t. a. was a young man of promise, the son of ambitious parents, proud-spirited, and without respect for religion. while still quite young he enlisted in the service of the government, and after a time rose to the position of an officer in the u. s. army. having in boyhood acquired the habit of self-abuse, he had stimulated his passions without restraint, and was readily led still farther astray by the evil companions with whom he was surrounded. he indulged his passions in every way and on every occasion when he found opportunity, and speedily began to feel the effects of his vices. before he was fully aware of his condition, he found himself being literally devoured by the vilest of all diseases, which only those who transgress in this manner suffer. the disease made rapid advances and speedily reduced him to a condition of almost absolute helplessness. he was obliged to obtain a furlough; but his vital forces were so nearly exhausted that he did not rally even under skillful treatment; and when his furlough expired, he was still in the same pitiable condition. getting it extended for a time, he by accident came under our care, and by the aid of very thorough treatment he was in a measure improved, though the progress of the disease was simply stayed. when apprized of his real condition, he exhibited much agitation, walking nervously about his room, and finally exclaimed that he was utterly disgusted with life anyway, and after a few weeks or months more of suffering he should blow his brains out and end his misery. he had no fears of death, he said, and we presume that he could not imagine it possible that there was any greater suffering in store for him than he already endured. we pitied the poor fellow from the bottom of our heart. he had natural qualities which ought to have made him distinguished. he might have risen high in the world of usefulness. now he was compelled to look back upon a short life of squandered opportunities, a pathway stained with vice, memories of vile debaucheries which had wasted his youth and broken his constitution. wretched was he indeed. notwithstanding his vileness he was not lost to shame, for his greatest fear was that his friends might ascertain the real cause of his sufferings, to conceal which he was obliged to resort to all sorts of subterfuges. as soon as he was able to travel he left us, being obliged to report to his superior officers, and we have heard nothing of him since. scores of similar cases we might recount in detail, but we have not here the space. these will suffice to give to the young reader an idea of the terrible results of this awful vice which are suffered by its victims. we have not dared to portray on these pages one-half the misery and wretchedness which we have seen as the results of self-abuse and the vices to which it leads. the picture is too terrible for young eyes to behold. we most sincerely hope that none of our readers will ever have to suffer as we have seen boys and young men do, languishing in misery as the result of their own transgressions of the laws of chastity. we will now devote the remaining pages of this chapter to the consideration of some of the causes of the vice, the avenues that lead to the awful sin which we are considering, and the terrible consequences which attend it. bad company.--the influence of evil companionship is one of the most powerful agents for evil against which those who love purity and are seeking to elevate and benefit their fellow-men have to contend. a bad boy can do more harm in a community than can be counteracted by all the clergymen, sabbath-school teachers, tract-distributers, and other christian workers combined. an evil boy is a pest compared with which the cholera, small-pox, and even the plague, are nothing. the damage which would be done by a terrific hurricane sweeping with destructive force through a thickly settled district is insignificant compared with the evil work which may be accomplished by one vicious lad. no community is free from these vipers, these agents of the arch-fiend. every school, no matter how select it may be, contains a greater or less number of these young moral lepers. often they pursue their work unsuspected by the good and pure, who do not dream of the vileness pent up in the young brains which have not yet learned the multiplication table and scarcely learned to read. we have known instances in which a boy of seven or eight years of age has implanted the venom of vice in the hearts and minds of half a score of pure-minded lads within a few days of his first association with them. this vice spreads like wild-fire. it is more "catching" than the most contagious disease, and more tenacious, when once implanted, than the leprosy. boys are easily influenced either for right or for wrong, but especially for the wrong; hence it is the duty of parents to select good companions for their children, and it is the duty of children to avoid bad company as they would avoid carrion or the most loathsome object. a boy with a match box in a powder magazine would be in no greater danger than in the company of most of the lads who attend our public schools and play upon the streets. it is astonishing how early children, especially boys, will sometimes learn the hideous, shameless tricks of vice which yearly lead thousands down to everlasting death. often children begin their course of sin while yet cradled in their mother's arms, thus early taught by some vile nurse. boys that fight and swear, that play upon the streets and disobey their parents, may be wisely shunned as unfit for associates. in many instances, too, boys whose conduct is in other respects wholly faultless sometimes indulge in vice, ignorant of its real nature and consequences. at the first intimation of evil on the part of a companion, a boy who is yet pure should flee away as from a deadly serpent or a voracious beast. do not let the desire to gratify a craving curiosity deter you from fleeing at once from the source of contamination. under such circumstances do not hesitate a moment to escape from danger. if an evil word is spoken or an indecent act of any sort indulged in by a companion, cut the acquaintance of such a boy at once. never allow yourself to be alone with him a moment. on no account be induced to associate with him. he will as surely soil and besmear with sin your moral garments as would contact with the most filthy object imaginable your outer garments. it were better for a boy never to see or associate with a lad of his own age than to run any risk of being corrupted before he is old enough to appreciate the terrible enormity of sin and the awful consequences of transgression. it should be recollected also that not only young boys but vicious youths and young men are frequently the instructors in vice. it is unsafe to trust any but those who are known to be pure. bad language.--we have often been astonished at the facility with which children acquire the language of vice. often we have been astounded to hear little boys scarcely out of their cradles, lisping the most horrible oaths and the vilest epithets. the streets and alleys in our large cities, and in smaller ones too in a less degree, are nurseries of vice, in which are reared the criminals that fill our jails, prisons, work-houses, school-ships, and houses of correction. many a lad begins his criminal education by learning the language of vice and sin. at first he simply imitates the evil utterances of others; but soon he learns the full significance of the obscene and filthy language which he hears and repeats, and then he rapidly progresses in the downward road. a boy that indulges in the use of foul language will not long be chaste in acts. it is a safe rule to be followed by those who wish to grow up pure and unsullied by sin, untainted by vice, that those who use bad language are persons to avoid, to keep away from. even those who are well fortified against vice, who have been faithfully warned of its consequences and fully appreciate its dangers, cannot be safely trusted to associate with vile talkers. the use of bad language by old and young is an evil which is of the very greatest moment. it is too often ignored; too little is said about it; far too often it is disregarded as of little consequence, and persons who are really not bad at heart thoughtlessly encourage the evil by listening to and laughing at obscene and ribald jokes, and impure language which ought to make a virtuous man blush with shame to hear. boys, if you want to be pure, if you wish to be loved by a pure mother, an innocent sister, and when you are grown to manhood to be worthy of the confidence of a pure, virtuous wife, keep your lips pure; never let a vile word or an indecent allusion pass them. never, under any circumstances, give utterance to language that you would blush to have your mother overhear. if you find yourself in the company of persons whose language will not bear this test, escape as soon as possible, for you are in danger; your sense of what is right and proper in speech is being vitiated; you are being damaged in a variety of ways. bad books.--a bad book is as bad as an evil companion. in some respects it is even worse than a living teacher of vice, since it may cling to an individual at all times. it may follow him to the secrecy of his bed-chamber, and there poison his mind with the venom of evil. the influence of bad books in making bad boys and men is little appreciated. few are aware how much evil seed is being sown among the young everywhere through the medium of vile books. it is not only the wretched volumes of obscenity of which so many thousands have been seized and destroyed by mr. comstock which are included under the head of bad books, and which corrupt the morals of the young and lead them to enter the road to infamy, but the evil literature which is sold in "dime and nickel novels," and which constitutes the principal part of the contents of such papers as the _police gazette_, the _police news_, and a large proportion of the sensational story books which flood the land, and too many of which find their way into town and circulating libraries and even sunday-school libraries, which are rarely selected with the care that ought to be exercised in the selection of reading matter for the young. bad books often find their way even where evil companions would not intrude; and undoubtedly effect a work of evil almost as great as is wrought by bad associations. look out, boys, for the tempter in this guise. if a companion offers you a book the character of which is suspicious, take it home to your father, your mother, or some reliable older friend, for examination. if it is handed you with an air of secrecy, or if a promise to keep it hidden from others is required, have nothing to do with it. you might better place a coal of fire or a live viper in your bosom than to allow yourself to read such a book. the thoughts that are implanted in the mind in youth will stick there through life, in spite of all efforts to dislodge them. hundreds of men who have been thus injured when young, but have by some providence escaped a life of vice and shame, look back with most intense regret to the early days of childhood, and earnestly wish that the pictures then made in the mind by bad books might be effaced. evil impressions thus formed often torture minds during a whole lifetime. in the most inopportune moments they will intrude themselves. when the individual desires to place his mind undividedly upon sacred and elevated themes, even at the most solemn moments of life, these lewd pictures will sometimes intrude themselves in spite of his efforts to avoid them. it is an awful thing to allow the mind to be thus contaminated; and many a man would give the world, if he possessed it, to be free from the horrible incubus of a defiled imagination. vile pictures.--obscene and lascivious pictures are influences which lead boys astray too important to be unnoticed. evil men, agents of the arch-fiend, have adopted all sorts of devices for putting into the hands of the boys and youths of the rising generation pictures calculated to excite the passions, to lead to vice. thousands of these vile pictures are in circulation throughout the country in spite of the worthy efforts of such philanthropists as mr. anthony comstock and his co-laborers. in almost every large school there are boys who have a supply of these infamous designs and act as agents in scattering the evil contagion among all who come under their influence. under the guise of art, the genius of some of our finest artists is turned to pandering to this base desire for sensuous gratification. the pictures which hang in many of our art galleries that are visited by old and young of both sexes often number in the list views which to those whose thoughts are not well trained to rigid chastity can be only means of evil. a plea may be made for these paintings in the name of art; but we see no necessity for the development of art in this particular direction, when nature presents so many and such varied scenes of loveliness in landscapes, flowers, beautiful birds, and graceful animals, to say nothing of the human form protected by sufficient covering to satisfy the demands of modesty. many of the papers and magazines sold at our news-stands and eagerly sought after by young men and boys are better suited for the parlors of a house of ill-repute than for the eyes of pure-minded youth. a news-dealer who will distribute such vile sheets ought to be dealt with as an educator in vice and crime, an agent of evil, and a recruiting officer for hell and perdition. evil thoughts.--no one can succeed long in keeping himself from vicious acts whose thoughts dwell upon unchaste subjects. only those who are pure in heart will be pure and chaste in action. the mind must be educated to love and dwell upon pure subjects in early life, as by this means only can the foundation be laid for that purity of character which alone will insure purity of life. when the mind once becomes contaminated with evil thoughts, it requires the work of years of earnest effort to purge it from uncleanness. vile thoughts leave scars which even time will not always efface. they soil and deprave the soul, as vile acts do the body. god knows them, if no human being does, and if harbored and cherished they will tell against the character in the day of judgment as surely as will evil words and deeds. influence of other bad habits.--evil practices of any sort which lower the moral tone of an individual, which lessen his appreciation of and love for right and purity and true nobility of soul, encourage the development of vice. a boy who loves purity, who has a keen sense of what is true and right, can never become a vicious man. profanity, falsehood, and deception of every sort, have a tendency in the direction of vice. the use of highly seasoned food, of rich sauces, spices and condiments, sweetmeats, and in fact all kinds of stimulating foods, has an undoubted influence upon the sexual nature of boys, stimulating those organs into too early activity, and occasioning temptations to sin which otherwise would not occur. the use of mustard, pepper, pepper-sauce, spices, rich gravies, and all similar kinds of food, should be carefully avoided by young persons. they are not wholesome for either old or young; but for the young they are absolutely dangerous. the use of beer, wine, hard cider, and tobacco, is especially damaging to boys on this account. these stimulants excite the passions and produce a clamoring for sensual gratification which few boys or young men have the will power or moral courage to resist. tobacco is an especially detrimental agent. the early age at which boys now begin the use of tobacco may be one of the reasons why the practice of secret vice is becoming so terribly common among boys and young men. we never think a boy or young man who uses tobacco safe from the commission of some vile act. the use of tea and coffee by boys is also a practice which should be interdicted. all wise physicians forbid the use of these narcotic drinks, together with that of tobacco, and always with benefit to those who abstain. in france the government has made a law forbidding the use of tobacco by students in the public schools. in germany a still more stringent law has been made, which forbids the use of tobacco by boys and young men. these laws have been made on account of the serious injury which was evidently resulting from the use of the filthy weed to both the health and the morals of the young men of those countries. there is certainly an equal need for such a law in this country. closing advice to boys and young men.--one word more and we must close this chapter, which we hope has been read with care by those for whom it is especially written. let every boy who peruses these pages remember that the facts here stated are true. every word we have verified, and we have not written one-half that might be said upon this subject. let the boy who is still pure, who has never defiled himself with vice, firmly resolve that with the help of god he will maintain a pure and virtuous character. it is much easier to preserve purity than to get free from the taint of sin after having been once defiled. let the boy who has already fallen into evil ways, who has been taught the vile practice the consequences of which we have endeavored to describe, and who is already in the downward road,--let him resolve now to break the chain of sin, to reform at once, and to renounce his evil practice forever. the least hesitancy, the slightest dalliance with the demon vice, and the poor victim will be lost. now, this moment, is the time to reform. seek purity of mind and heart. banish evil thoughts and shun evil companions; then with earnest prayer to god wage a determined battle for purity and chastity until the victory is wholly won. one of the greatest safeguards for a boy is implicit trust and confidence in his parents. let him go to them with all his queries instead of to some older boyish friend. if all boys would do this, an immense amount of evil would be prevented. when tempted to sin, boys, think first of the vileness and wickedness of the act; think that god and pure angels behold every act, and even know every thought. nothing is hid from their eyes. think then of the awful results of this terrible sin, and fly from temptation as from a burning house. send up a prayer to god to deliver you from temptation, and you will not fall. every battle manfully and successfully fought will add new strength to your resolution and force to your character. gaining such victories from day to day you will grow up to be a pure, noble, useful man, the grandest work of god, and will live a happy, virtuous life yourself, and add to the happiness of those around you. a chapter for girls. we have written this chapter especially for girls, and we sincerely hope that many will read it with an earnest desire to be benefited by so doing. the subject of which we have to write is a delicate one, and one which, we regret exceedingly, needs to be written about. but our experience as a physician has proven to us again and again that it is of the utmost importance that something be said, that words of warning should be addressed particularly to the girls and maidens just emerging into womanhood, on a subject which vitally concerns not only their own future health and happiness, but the prosperity and destiny of the race. probably no one can be better fitted to speak on this subject than the physician. a physician who has given careful attention to the health and the causes of ill-health of ladies, and who has had opportunities for observing the baneful influence exerted upon the bodies and minds of girls and young women by the evil practices of which it is our purpose here to speak, can better appreciate than can others the magnitude of the evil, and is better prepared to speak upon the subject understandingly and authoritatively. gladly would we shun the task which has been pressed upon us, but which we have long avoided, were it not for the sense of the urgent need of its performance of which our professional experience has thoroughly convinced us. we cannot keep our lips closed when our eyes are witnesses to the fact that thousands of the fairest and best of our girls and maidens are being beguiled into everlasting ruin by a soul-destroying vice which works unseen, and often so insidiously that its results are unperceived until the work of ruin is complete. the nature of our subject necessitates that we should speak plainly, though delicately, and we shall endeavor to make our language comprehensible by any one old enough to be benefited by the perusal of this chapter. we desire that all who read these pages may receive lasting benefit by so doing. the subject is one upon which every girl ought to be informed, and to which she should give serious attention, at least sufficiently long to become intelligent concerning the evils and dangers to which girls are exposed from this source. girlhood.--nothing is so suggestive of innocence and purity as the simple beauty of girlhood when seen in its natural freshness, though too seldom, now-a-days, is it possible to find in our young girls the natural grace and healthy beauty which were common among the little maidens of a quarter of a century ago. the ruddy cheeks and bright eyes and red lips which are indicative of a high degree of healthy vigor are not so often seen to-day among the small girls in our public schools and passing to and fro upon the streets. the pale cheeks, languid eyes, and almost colorless lips which we more often see, indicate weakly constitutions and delicate health, and prophesy a short and suffering life to many. various causes are at work to produce this unfortunate decline; and while we hope that in the larger share of cases, bad diet, improper clothing, confinement in poorly ventilated rooms with too little exercise, and similar causes, are the active agents, we are obliged to recognize the fact that there is in far too many cases another cause, the very mention of which makes us blush with shame that its existence should be possible. but of this we shall speak again presently. real girls are like the just opening buds of beautiful flowers. the beauty and fragrance of the full-blossomed rose scarcely exceed the delicate loveliness of the swelling bud which shows between the sections of its bursting calyx the crimson petals tightly folded beneath. so the true girl possesses in her sphere as high a degree of attractive beauty as she can hope to attain in after-years, though of a different character. but genuine girls are scarce. really natural little girls are almost as scarce as real boys. too many girls begin at a very early age to attempt to imitate the pride and vanity manifested by older girls and young ladies. it is by many supposed that to be ladylike should be the height of the ambition of girls as soon as they are old enough to be taught respecting propriety of behavior, which is understood to mean that they must appear as unnatural as possible in attempting to act like grown-up ladies. many mothers who wish their daughters to be models of perfection, but whose ideas of perfect deportment are exceedingly superficial in character, dress up their little daughters in fine clothing, beautiful to look at, but very far from what is required for health and comfort, and then continually admonish the little ones that they must keep very quiet and "act like little ladies." such a course is a most pernicious one. it fosters pride and vanity, and inculcates an entirely wrong idea of what it is to be ladylike,--to be a true lady, to be true to nature as a girl. such artificial training is damaging alike to mind and body; and it induces a condition of mind and of the physical system which is very conducive to the encouragement of dangerous tendencies. how to develop beauty and loveliness.--all little girls want to be beautiful. girls in general care much more for their appearance than do boys. they have finer tastes, and greater love for whatever is lovely and beautiful. it is a natural desire, and should be encouraged. a pure, innocent, beautiful little girl is the most lovely of all god's creatures. all are not equally beautiful, however, and cannot be; but all may be beautiful to a degree that will render them attractive. let all little girls who want to be pretty, handsome, or good-looking, give attention and we will tell them how. those who are homely should listen especially, for all may become good-looking, though all cannot become remarkably beautiful. first of all, it is necessary that the girl who wishes to be handsome, to be admired, should be good. she must learn to love what is right and true. she must be pure in mind and act. she must be simple in her manners, modest in her deportment, and kind in her ways. second in importance, though scarcely so, is the necessity of health. no girl can long be beautiful without health; and no girl who enjoys perfect health can be really ugly in appearance. a healthy countenance is always attractive. disease wastes the rounded features, bleaches out the roses from the cheeks and the vermilion from the lips. it destroys the luster of the eye and the elasticity of the step. health is essential to beauty. in fact, if we consider goodness as a state of moral health, then health is the one great requisite of beauty. health is obtained and preserved by the observance of those natural laws which the creator has appointed for the government of our bodies. the structure of these bodies we may do well to study for a few moments. the human form divine.--go with us to one of the large cities, and we will show you one of the most marvelous pieces of mechanism ever invented, a triumph of ingenuity, skill, and patient, persevering labor for many years. this wonderful device is a clock which will run more than one hundred years. it is so constructed that it indicates not only the time of day, the day of the month and year, itself making all the necessary changes for leap year, but shows the motions of the earth around the sun, together with the movements and positions of all the other planets, and many other marvelous things. when it strikes at the end of each hour, groups of figures go through a variety of curious movements most closely resembling the appearance and actions of human beings. the maker of this remarkable clock well deserves the almost endless praise which he receives for his skill and patience; for his work is certainly wonderful; but the great clock, with its curious and complicated mechanism, is a coarse and bungling affair when compared with the human body. the clock doubtless contains thousands of delicate wheels and springs, and is constructed with all the skill imaginable; and yet the structure of the human body is infinitely more delicate. the clock has no intelligence; but a human being can hear, see, feel, taste, touch, and think. the clock does only what its maker designed to have it do, and can do nothing else. the human machine is a living mechanism; it can control its own movements, can do as it will, within certain limits. what is very curious indeed, the human machine has the power to mend itself, so that when it needs repairs it is not necessary to send it to a shop for the purpose, but all that is required is to give nature an opportunity and the system repairs itself. a wonderful process.--we have not space to describe all the wonderful mechanism of this human machine, but must notice particularly one of its most curious features, a provision by which other human beings, living machines like itself, are produced. all living creatures possess this power. a single potato placed in the ground becomes a dozen or more, by a process of multiplying. a little seed planted in the earth grows up to be a plant, produces flowers, and from the flowers come other seeds, not one, but often a great many, sometimes hundreds from a single seed. insects, fishes, birds, and all other animals, thus multiply. so do human beings, and in a similar manner. the organs by which this most marvelous process is carried on in plants and animals, including also human beings, are called sexual organs. flowers are the sexual organs of plants. and flowers are always the most fragrant and the most beautiful when they are engaged in this wonderful and curious work. human buds.--a curious animal which lives near the seashore, in shallow water, attached to a rock like a water plant, puts out little buds which grow awhile and then drop off, and after a time become large individuals like the parent, each in turn producing buds like the one from which it grew. human beings are formed by a similar process. human buds are formed by an organ for the purpose possessed only by the female sex, and these, under proper circumstances, develop into infant human beings. the process, though so simply stated, is a marvelously complicated one, which cannot be fully explained here; indeed, it is one of the mysteries which it is beyond the power of human wisdom fully to explain. the production of these human buds is one of the most important and sacred duties of woman. it is through this means that she becomes a mother, which is one of the grandest and noblest functions of womanhood. it is the motherly instinct that causes little girls to show such a fondness for dolls, a perfectly natural feeling which may be encouraged to a moderate degree without injury. how beauty is marred.--as already remarked, mental, moral, and physical health are the requisites for true beauty, and to secure these, obedience to all the laws of health is required. the most beautiful face is soon marred when disease begins its ravages in the body. the most beautiful character is as speedily spoiled by the touch of moral disease, or sin. the face is a mirror of the mind, the character; and a mind full of evil, impure thoughts is certain to show itself in the face in spite of rosy cheeks and dimples, ruby lips and bewitching smiles. the character is written on the face as plainly as the face may be pictured by an artist on canvas. to be more explicit, the girl who disregards the laws of health, who eats bad food, eats at all hours or at unseasonable hours, sits up late at night, attends fashionable parties and indulges in the usual means of dissipation there afforded, dancing, wine, rich suppers, etc., who carefully follows the fashions in her dress, lacing her waist to attain the fashionable degree of slenderness, wearing thin, narrow-toed gaiters with french heels, and insufficiently clothing the limbs in cold weather, and who in like manner neglects to comply with the requirements of health in other important particulars, may be certain that sooner or later, certainly at no distant day, she will become as unattractive and homely as she can wish not to be. girls and young ladies who eat largely of fat meat, rich cakes and pies, confectionery, iced creams, and other dietetic abominations, cannot avoid becoming sallow and hollow-eyed. the cheeks may be ever so plump and rosy, they will certainly lose their freshness and become hollow and thin. chalk and rouge will not hide the defect, for everybody will discover the fraud, and will of course know the reason why it is practiced. a beauty-destroying vice.--but by far the worst enemy of beauty and health of body, mind, and soul, we have not yet mentioned. it is a sin concerning which we would gladly keep silence; but we cannot see so many of our most beautiful and promising girls and young ladies annually being ruined, often for this world and the next alike, without uttering the word of warning needed. as before remarked, the function of maternity, which is the object of the sexual system in woman, when rightly exercised is the most sacred and elevated office which a woman can perform for the world. the woman who is a true mother has an opportunity of doing for the race more than all other human agencies combined. the mother's influence is the controlling influence in the world. the mother molds the character of her children. she can make of their plastic minds almost what she will if she is herself prepared for the work. on the other hand, misuse or abuse of the sexual organism is visited in girls and women, as in boys and men, with the most fearful penalties. nothing will sooner deprive a girl or young lady of the maidenly grace and freshness with which nature blesses woman in her early years than secret vice. we have the greatest difficulty in making ourself believe that it is possible for beings designed by nature to be pure and innocent, in all respects free from impurity of any sort, to become so depraved by sin as to be willing to devote themselves to so vile and filthy a practice. yet the frequency with which cases have come under our observation which clearly indicate the alarming prevalence of the practice, even among girls and young women who would naturally be least suspected, compels us to recognize the fact. the testimony of many eminent physicians whose opportunities for observation have been very extensive shows that the evil is enormously greater than people generally are aware. instructors of the youth, of large experience, assert the same. nor is the evil greater in america than in some other countries. one writer declares that the vice is almost universal among the girls of russia, which may be due to the low condition in which the women of that country are kept. terrible effects of secret vice.--the awful effects of this sin against god and nature, this soul-and-body-destroying vice, become speedily visible in those who are guilty of it. the experienced eye needs no confession on the part of the victim to read the whole story of sinful indulgence and consequent disease. the vice stamps its insignia upon the countenance; it shows itself in the walk, in the changed disposition and the loss of healthy vigor. it is not only impossible for a victim of this sinful practice to hide from the all-seeing eye of god the vileness perpetrated in secret, but it is also useless to attempt to hide from human eyes the awful truth. headache, side-ache, back-ache, pains in the chest, and wandering pains in various parts of the body,--these are but a few of the painful ailments from which girls who are guilty of this sin suffer. many of the tender spines which cause great solicitude on the part of parents and physicians, who fear that disease of the spine is threatening the life of a loved daughter, not infrequently originate in this way. much of the hysteria which renders wretched the lives of thousands of young ladies and the fond friends who are obliged to care for and attend them, arises from sexual transgression of the kind of which we are speaking. the blanched cheeks, hollow, expressionless eyes, and rough, pimply skins of many school-girls are due to this cause alone. we do not mean by this to intimate that every girl who has pimples upon her face is guilty of secret vice; but this sin is undoubtedly a very frequent cause of the unpleasant eruption which so often appears upon the foreheads of both sexes. it would be very unjust, however, to charge a person with the sin unless some further evidence than that of an eruption on the face was afforded. the inability to study, to apply themselves in any way except when stimulated by something of a very exciting character, which many girls exhibit, is in a large proportion of cases due to the practice of which we are writing. often enough the effects which are attributed to overstudy are properly due to this debasing habit. we have little faith in the great outcry made in certain quarters about the damaging effects of study upon the health of young ladies. a far less worthy cause is in many cases the true one, to which is attributable the decline in health at a critical period when all the vital forces of the system are necessarily called into action to introduce the activity of a new function. hundreds of girls break down in health just as they are entering womanhood. at from twelve to eighteen years of age the change naturally occurs which transforms the girl into a woman by the development of functions previously latent. this critical period is one through which every girl in health ought to pass with scarcely any noticeable disturbance; and if during the previous years of life the laws of health were observed, there would seldom be any unusual degree of suffering at this time. those who have before this period been addicted to the vile habit of which we are writing, will almost invariably show at this time evidences of the injury which has been wrought. the unnatural excitement of the organs before the period of puberty, lays the foundation for life-long disease. when that critical epoch arrives, the organs are found in a state of congestion often bordering on inflammation. the increased congestion which naturally occurs at this time in many cases is sufficient to excite most serious disease. here is the beginning of a great many of the special diseases which are the bane and shame of the sex. displacements of various sorts, congestions, neuralgia of the ovaries, leucorrhoea, or whites, and a great variety of kindred maladies, are certain to make their appearance at this period or soon after in those who have previously been guilty of self-abuse. if the evil influences already at work are augmented by tight lacing, improper dressing of the extremities, hanging heavy skirts upon the hips, and fashionable dissipation generally, the worst results are sure to follow, and the individual is certain to be a subject for the doctors for a good portion of her life. a talented writer some time since contributed to a popular magazine an article entitled, "the little health of women," which contained many excellent hints respecting the influences at work to undermine the health and destroy the constitutions of american women; but he did not even hint at this potent cause, which, we firmly believe, is responsible for a far greater share of the local disease and general poor health of girls, young women, and married ladies, than has been generally recognized. these are startling facts, but we are prepared to substantiate them. remote effects.--not all of the effects of the vice appear in girlhood, nor even during early life. not infrequently it is not until the girl has grown up to be a wife and mother that she begins to appreciate fully the harm that has been wrought. at this time, when new demands are made upon the sexual organism, when its proper duties are to be performed, there is a sudden failure; new weaknesses and diseases make their appearance, new pains and sufferings are felt, which no woman who has not in some way seriously transgressed the laws of health will suffer. in not a few instances it is discovered that the individual is wholly unfitted for the duties of maternity. often, indeed, maternity is impossible, the injury resulting from the sins committed being so great as to render the diseased organism incapable of the functions required. in the great majority of cases these peculiar difficulties, morbid conditions, and incapacities are attributed to overwork, overstudy, "taking cold," "getting the feet wet," or some other cause wholly inadequate to account for the diseased conditions present, although in many instances it may be true that some such unfortunate circumstance may be the means of precipitating the effects of previous sin upon organs already relaxed, debilitated, and thus prepared readily to take on disease. causes which lead girls astray.--the predisposing causes of sexual vices have already been dwelt upon so fully in this volume that we shall devote little space to the subject here. we may, however, mention a few of the causes which seem to be most active in leading to the formation of evil habits among girls. vicious companions.--girls are remarkably susceptible to influence by those of their own age. a vicious girl who makes herself agreeable to those with whom she associates can exert more influence over many of her companions than can any number of older persons. even a mother rarely has that influence over her daughter that is maintained by the girl whom she holds as her bosom friend. the close friendships which are often formed between girls of the same age are often highly detrimental in character. each makes a confidant of the other, and thus becomes estranged from the only one competent to give counsel and advice, and the one who of all others is worthy of a young girl's confidence,--her mother. from these unfortunate alliances often arise most deplorable evils. vicious companions not infrequently sow the seeds of evil habits far and wide, contaminating all who come within their influence. whom to avoid.--a girl will always do well to avoid a companion who is vain, idle, silly, or frivolous. girls who have these evil characteristics are very likely to have others also which are worse. a girl who is rude in her manners, careless in her habits, irreverent and disobedient to parents and teachers, is always an unsafe companion. no matter how pretty, witty, stylish, or aristocratic she may be, she should be shunned. her influence will be withering, debasing, wherever felt. a girl may be gay and thoughtless without being vicious; but the chances are ten to one that she will become sinful unless she changes her ways. sentimental books.--the majority of girls love to read, but, unfortunately, the kind of literature of which they are chiefly fond is not of a character which will elevate, refine, or in any way benefit them. story books, romances, love tales, and religious novels constitute the chief part of the reading matter which american young ladies greedily devour. we have known young ladies still in their teens who had read whole libraries of the most exciting novels. the taste for novel-reading is like that for liquor or opium. it is never satiated. it grows with gratification. a confirmed novel-reader is almost as difficult to reform as a confirmed inebriate or opium-eater. the influence upon the mind is most damaging and pernicious. it not only destroys the love for solid, useful reading, but excites the emotions, and in many cases keeps the passions in a perfect fever of excitement. the confessions of young women who were to all appearance the most circumspect in every particular, and whom no one mistrusted to be capable of vile thoughts, have convinced us that this evil is more prevalent than many, even of those who are quite well informed, would be willing to admit. by reading of this kind, many are led to resort to self-abuse for the gratification of passions which over-stimulation has made almost uncontrollable. some have thus been induced to sin who had never been injured by other influences, but discovered the fatal secret themselves. mothers cannot be too careful of the character of the books which their daughters read. every book, magazine, and paper should be carefully scrutinized, unless its character is already well known, before it is allowed to be read. in our opinion, some of the literature which passes as standard, which is often found on parlor center-tables and in family and school libraries, such as chaucer's poems, and other writings of a kindred character, is unfit for perusal by inexperienced and unsophisticated young ladies. some of this literature is actually too vile for any one to read, and if written to-day by any poet of note would cause his works to be committed to the stove and the rag-bag in spite of his reputation. various causes.--bad diet, the use of stimulating and exciting articles of food, late suppers, confectionery and dainties,--all these have a very powerful influence in the wrong direction by exciting functions which ought to be kept as nearly latent as possible. the use of tea and coffee by young ladies cannot be too strongly condemned. improper dress, by causing local congestion, often predisposes to secret vice by occasioning local excitement. probably a greater cause than any of those last mentioned is too great familiarity with the opposite sex. the silly letters which girls sometimes allow themselves to receive from the boys and young men of their acquaintance, and which they encourage by letters of a similar character, must be condemned in the most thorough manner. upon receiving such a letter a pure-minded girl will consider herself insulted; and has just reason for so doing. the childish flirtations which girls and boys sometimes indulge in often lead to evils of a most revolting character. modesty woman's safeguard.--true modesty and maidenly reserve are the best guardians of virtue. the girl who is truly modest, who encourages and allows no improper advances, need have no fear of annoyance from this source. she is equally safe from temptation to sin which may come to her in secret, when no human eye can behold. maidenly modesty is one of the best qualities which any young lady can possess. a young woman who lacks modesty, who manifests boldness of manner and carelessness in deportment, is not only liable to have her virtue assailed by designing and unscrupulous men, but is herself likely to fall before the temptation to indulge in secret sin, which is certain to present itself in some way sooner or later. this invaluable protection is speedily lost by the girl who abandons herself to secret vice. the chances are very great, also, that by degrees her respect for and love of virtue and chastity will diminish until she is open to temptations to indulge in less secret sin; and thus she travels down the road of vice until she finds herself at last an inmate of a brothel or an outcast wanderer, rejected by friends, and lost to virtue, purity, and all that a true woman holds most dear. a few sad cases.--although we do not believe it right to harrow the feelings of those who have sinned and suffered with a rehearsal of sad cases when no good can be accomplished by such accounts, we deem it but just that those who are not yet entangled in the meshes of vice should have an opportunity of knowing the actual results of sin, and profiting by the sad experience of others. it is for this purpose that we shall mention a few cases which have come under our observation, taking care to avoid mentioning any facts which might lead to identification, as the facts we shall use were, many of them, received in strict confidence from those who were glad to unburden their hearts to some one, but had never dared to do so, even to their friends. a pitiful case.--several years ago we received a letter from a young woman in an eastern state in which she described her case as that of an individual who had early become addicted to secret vice and had continued the vile habit until that time, when she was about thirty-two years of age. in spite of the most solemn vows to reform, she still continued the habit, and had become reduced to such a miserable condition that she would almost rather die than live. she sent with her letter photographs representing herself at twenty and at that time, so that we might see the contrast. it was indeed appalling to see what changes sin had wrought. her face, once fair and comely, had become actually haggard with vice. purity, innocence, grace, and modesty were no longer visible there. the hard lines of sin had obliterated every trace of beauty, and produced a most repulsive countenance. though greatly depraved and shattered by sin and consequent disease in body and mind, she still had some desire to be cured, if possible, and made a most pitiful appeal for help to escape from her loathsome condition. we gave her the best counsel we could under the circumstances, and did all in our power to rescue her from her living death; but whether in any degree successful we cannot tell, as we have never heard from the poor creature since. we have often wished since that we might but show those two pictures to every girl who has been tempted to sin in this way, to all who have ever yielded to this awful vice. the terrible contrast would certainly produce an impression which no words can do. we sent them back to their wretched original, however, by her request, and so cannot show the actual pictures; but when any who read these lines are tempted thus to sin we beg them to think of these two pictures, and by forming a vivid image of them in the mind drive away the disposition to do wrong. a mind dethroned.--a young lady who had received every advantage which could be given her by indulgent parents, and who naturally possessed most excellent talents, being a fine musician, and naturally so bright and witty as to be the life of every company in which she moved, suddenly began to show strange symptoms of mental unsoundness. she would sometimes be seized with fits of violence during which it was with great difficulty that she could be controlled. several times she threatened the lives of her nurses, and even on one occasion attempted to execute her threat, the person's life being saved by mere accident. everything was done for her that could be done, but the mania increased to such a degree of violence that she was sent to an asylum for the insane. here she remained for months before she became sufficiently tractable to be taken to her home and cared for by friends. too close application to study was the cause at first assigned for her mental disorder, but a careful investigation of the case revealed the fact that the terrible sin which has ruined the minds of so many promising young men and brilliant young women was the cause that led to the sad result in this case also. the punishment of sin, especially of sexual sins, is indeed terrible; but the sin is a fearful one, and the penalty must be equal to the enormity of the crime. not all young women who indulge thus will become insane, but any one who thus transgresses may be thus punished. there is no safety but in absolute purity. a penitent victim.--a young woman who had been ill for years, and whose physicians had sought in vain to cure her various ailments, until her parents almost despaired of her ever being anything but a helpless invalid, came to us for treatment, resolved upon making a last effort for health. she had grown up in utter ignorance of the laws of health and of the results of the vice of which we are writing; and having been early taught the sin, she had indulged it for a number of years with the result of producing a most terribly diseased condition of the sexual organs, which had baffled the skill of all the physicians who had attended her, none of whom had ever been made acquainted with the true cause of the difficulties. when apprized of the real facts in the case, that she was alone responsible for the sad condition into which she had fallen, her eyes were opened to see the wickedness and vileness of her course. she bitterly bemoaned her past life, and heartily repented of her sins. of the sincerity of her repentance she gave evidence in the earnest efforts which she put forth to help herself. she spared no pains to do well all required on her part, and was soon rewarded by feeling that her diseases were being removed and health was returning. still, she was constantly reminded of her former sins. when the will was off its guard, during sleep, the mind, long indulged in sin, would revert to the old channels and riot in vileness. unchaste dreams made her often dread to sleep, as she awoke from these unconscious lapses enervated, weak, and prostrated as though she had actually transgressed. but though often thus almost disheartened she continued the struggle, and was finally rewarded by gaining a perfect victory over her mind, sleeping as well as waking, and recovering her health sufficiently to enable her to enjoy life and make herself very useful. not a few similar cases have come under our observation; and it seems to us that the pain, anguish, and remorse suffered by these poor victims, ought to be a warning to those who have never entered the sinful road. what a terrible thing it is for a pure and lovely being, designed by god to fulfill a high, holy, and sacred mission in the world, to become a victim to such a filthy vice! no girl of sense would in her right mind raise her hand to dash in pieces a beautiful vase, to destroy a lovely painting, or a beautiful piece of statuary. a girl who would do such a thing would be considered insane and a fit subject for a mad-house. yet is not the human body, a girl's own beautiful, symmetrical form, infinitely better, more valuable and more sacred, than any object produced by human art? there can be but one answer. how, then, is it possible for her thus to defile and destroy herself? is it not a fearful thing? a terrible vice? a ruined girl.--one of the most remarkable cases of disease resulting from self-abuse which ever came under our observation was that of a young lady from a distant western state whose adopted parents, after consulting many different physicians for a peculiar disease of the breast, placed her under our care. we found her a good-looking young woman about seventeen years of age, rather pale and considerably emaciated, very nervous and hysterical, and suffering with severe pain in the left breast, which was swollen to nearly double the natural size, hot, tense, pulsating, and extremely tender to the touch. occasionally she would experience paroxysms in which she apparently suffered extremely, being sometimes semi-conscious, and scarcely breathing for hours. we suspected the cause of these peculiar manifestations at the outset, but every suggestion of the possibility of the suspected cause was met with a stout denial and a very deceptive appearance of innocent ignorance on the subject. all treatment was unavailing to check the disease. though sometimes the symptoms seemed to be controlled, a speedy relapse occurred, so that no progress toward a cure was made. finally our conviction that our first impression respecting the case was correct became so strong that we hesitated no longer to treat it as such. by most vigilant observation we detected evidences of the soul-corrupting vice which we considered unmistakable, and then the young woman who had pretended such profound ignorance of the matter confessed to an extent of wickedness which was perfectly appalling. every paroxysm was traced to an unusual excess of sinful indulgence. so hardened was she by her evil practices that she seemed to feel no remorse, and only promised to reform when threatened with exposure to her parents unless she immediately ceased the vile practice. in less than ten days the mysterious symptoms which had puzzled many physicians disappeared altogether. the swollen, tender breast was no larger than the other, and was so entirely restored that she was able to strike it a full blow without pain. so great was the depravity of this girl, however, that she had no notion of making a permanent reform. she even boasted of her wickedness to a companion, and announced her intention to continue the practice. we sent her home, and apprized her parents of the full facts in the case, for which we received their deepest gratitude, though their hearts were nearly broken with grief at the sad revelation made to them. notwithstanding their most earnest efforts in her behalf, the wretched girl continued her downward career, and a year or two after we learned that she had sunk to the very lowest depths of shame. once this now wretched, disgraced creature was an attractive, pure, innocent little girl. her adopted father lavished upon her numerous presents, and spent hundreds of dollars to obtain her recovery to health. yet through this awful vice she was ruined utterly, and rendered so wholly perverse and bad that she had no desire to be better, no disposition to reform. god only knows what will be her sad end. may none who read these lines ever follow in her footsteps. the danger of boarding-schools.--some years ago a young lady came under our medical care who had suffered for some time from a serious nervous difficulty which had baffled the skill of all the physicians who had had charge of her case, and which occasioned her a great amount of suffering, making it necessary that she should be confined to her bed most of the time, the disease being aggravated by exercise, and the patient having been much weakened by its long continuance. all the remedies usually successful in such cases were employed with little or no effect, and we were feeling somewhat perplexed concerning the case, when the young lady sent for us one day and upon our going to her room in answer to her call she immediately burst into tears and acknowledged that she had been addicted to the habit of self-abuse and that she was still suffering from involuntary excitement during sleep. having been placed in a boarding-school when quite young, she had there learned the vile habit, and had practiced it without knowing anything of the ill effects or really appreciating its sinfulness. when she learned, some years after, that the habit was a most pernicious vice and of a character to bring destruction to both soul and body of one addicted to it, she endeavored to free herself from its shackles; but she found herself too securely bound for escape. it seemed, indeed, an utter impossibility. her thoughts had long been allowed to run in sentimental channels, and now they would do so in spite of the most earnest efforts to the contrary, during her waking hours; and in sleep, while the will power was not active, the imagination would run riot uncontrolled, leaving her, upon awaking, exhausted, enervated, and almost desperate with chagrin. knowing that she was daily suffering for her transgressions, she was filled with remorse and regret, and would have given all to undo the past; but, alas! she could not, and could only suffer with patience until relief could be secured. her love for sentimental literature occasioned another battle for her to fight; for she could scarcely resist the temptation daily offered her to while away some of the weary hours with such stories of love and sentiment as she had been accustomed to enjoy. but she fought the battle earnestly, and finally succeeded in conquering the evil tendencies of her mind both while awake and when asleep; and from that time she began to make slow progress toward recovery. the last we saw of her she was doing well, and hoped in time to arrive at a very comfortable state of health. a desperate case.--a little girl about ten years of age was brought to us by her father, who came with his daughter to have her broken of the vile habit of self-abuse into which she had fallen, having been taught it by a german servant girl. having read an early copy of this work, the father had speedily detected the habit, and had adopted every measure which he could devise to break his child of the destructive vice which she had acquired, but in vain. after applying various other measures without success, it finally became necessary to resort to a surgical operation, by which it is hoped that she was permanently cured, as we have heard nothing to the contrary since, and as the remedy seemed to be effectual. it was a severe remedy, and may seem a harsh one, but every other means utterly failed, and the father insisted upon the performance of the operation as a trial. this little girl, naturally truthful and honest, had, through the influence of this blighting vice, been made crafty and deceptive. she would tell the most astonishing falsehoods to free herself from the charge of guilt or to avoid punishment. the gentleman, her father, felt so deeply upon the subject and was so thoroughly awake to the consequences of the sin, that he declared he would take his daughter away into the wilderness and leave her to die, if need be, rather than allow her to grow up to womanhood with this vile blight upon her, and run the risk of her contaminating with the same vice his other, younger children. he felt so deeply that the tears coursed down his cheeks as he talked, and we were most happy to be of service to him in aiding his daughter to overcome the fascinating vice. she seemed willing to try to help herself, but was unable to break the bonds of sin without the extraordinary help which she received. we might continue this rehearsal of cases to an almost indefinite length, but we must soon bring this chapter to a close. those described are only a few examples of the many we are constantly meeting. none have been overdrawn; much has been omitted for the sake of delicacy which the exposure of the whole truth would have required us to present. we sincerely hope that these examples may be a warning to those who have never marred their purity of character by an unchaste act. to those who may have already sinned in this manner let the words come with double force and meaning. do you value life, health, beauty, honor, virtue, purity? then for the sake of all these, abandon the evil practice at once. do not hesitate for a moment to decide, and do not turn back after deciding to reform. a last word.--girls, as one who has only your best interests in view, and who would do you good, we beg of you to give heed one moment to the important matter which we have been presenting before you. it is of no frivolous character. it is one of the most important subjects to which your attention can be called. only those who are utterly ignorant of the dangers which surround them in the world, or who are already hardened in sin, will treat this matter lightly or scornfully. if you are still pure and possess a character unsoiled by sin, thank god that you have been preserved until now, and humbly petition him to enable you to remain as pure and unsullied as you now are. cultivate all of the heavenly graces. make your dear mother your confidant in all your perplexities and trials. go to her for information on all subjects upon which you find yourself ignorant. let no foreign influence beguile away your confidence from her who is most worthy of your love and respect, and who is best prepared to instruct you on all subjects, no matter how delicate. trust in god for help to resist evil under every guise. flee from temptation under whatever form it may appear. thus may you escape the suffering, the sorrow, and the remorse, which is endured sooner or later by all who enter the road of sin, no matter how short a time they may travel therein. to those who have already fallen, who have been led astray either ignorantly or through weakness in yielding to temptation, we will say, turn from your evil way at once. misery, sorrow, anguish, and everlasting ruin stare you in the face. perdition is before you. you need not think to escape the punishment that others suffer, for there is no way of escape. the penalty will surely come. make haste to return to the paths of purity before it is too late to mend the past. it may take years of pure and upright living to repair the evil already done; but do not hesitate to begin at once. with the help of god, resolve to become pure again. god can cleanse you from all unrighteousness. he can enable you to chase from your mind and heart every impure thought and unclean desire. through his grace you can successfully battle with temptation and redeem the black record of the past. a few words to boys and girls. of the last two preceding chapters one was devoted exclusively to advice and instruction to boys, the other being written expressly for girls. now we have a few words in conclusion for boys and girls together. it is of the greatest importance that our boys and girls should be in every way improved as much as possible. they are to become the men and women of the next generation, when their fathers and mothers have retired from active life. twenty years from to-day the world will be just what the present boys and girls shall make it. boys who are chaste, honest, obedient, and industrious, will become useful and noble men, husbands, and fathers. girls who are pure, innocent, and dutiful, will become honored and lovely women, wives, and mothers. boys and girls are placed in families together, and thus are evidently designed by nature to associate together, to obtain their education and preparation for life together. when secluded wholly from each other's society, both suffer a loss. but while this is true, it is also true that certain evils may and often do grow out of the association of the two sexes of young people, so serious in character that many wise and good men and women have felt that the sexes should be reared and educated apart as much as possible. these evils are the result of too intimate and improper associations of boys and girls. associations of this sort must be most sedulously avoided. boys and girls who are in school together must be extremely careful to avoid too close associations. on all occasions a modest reserve should be maintained in the deportment of the young of both sexes toward each other. too early friendships formed often lead to hasty marriages, before either party is prepared to enter into the married state, and before the judgment has been sufficiently developed to make either capable of selecting a suitable partner for life. these facts are usually learned when it is too late for the information to be of any value. parents and teachers are especially responsible for guarding these early associations and giving timely warning when needed. the youth should always be ready to take advice on this subject, for with their inexperience they cannot know their wants so well as do their elders. nothing is more disgusting to persons of sound sense than youthful flirtations. those misguided persons who encourage these indiscretions in young people do an immense amount of injury to those whom they ought to be prepared to benefit by wise counsel. we have seen promising young people made wretched for life through the influence of one of these mischief-makers, being most unhappily mated, and repenting too late of a hasty marriage for which they were utterly unprepared. young persons often labor under the erroneous impression that in order to be agreeable they must talk "small talk;" this literally means, "silly twaddle," which disgusts everybody, and yet which all seek to imitate. whenever the two sexes meet in society or elsewhere, as at all other times, the conversation should be turned upon subjects of real interest, which admit of the exercise of sound sense and will be a means of culture. such associations do not result in injury to any one, and may be the means of much profit; but nothing is more execrable than the frivolous, silly, often absolutely senseless observations which make up the great bulk of the conversation of young people in fashionable society. the most ready means of disclosing the superficial character of the minds of a large share of the young persons who move in fashionable circles is to introduce some topic requiring depth of thought and sound judgment. such a subject will usually produce either an instant lull in the conversation or a display of ignorance which cannot fail to reveal the shallowness of the speaker's intellect. it is this superficial class of minds that most easily fall victims to a sickly sentimentalism, which readily leads to digressions from the pathway of rigid virtue. a boy who has the elements of true manliness in him will carry a gentlemanly bearing wherever he goes. in all his deportment, and especially in his conduct toward the opposite sex, he will act the gentleman; and the boy whose gentility is genuine will manifest the same kind deference toward his mother and sisters as toward other ladies and girls. so also the young lady who is a lady at heart, will never allow herself to forget the rules of propriety, whether she is in the company of her father and brothers, or that of other gentlemen. all the rules of etiquette are worth little compared with the one simple rule which is applicable to both sexes and all ages,--"have the heart right, and then act natural." one so governed will not go very far astray under any circumstances; but it is of the greatest importance that the heart be right. to make it such is, indeed, the great business of life. "blessed are the pure in heart." index. page. abortion, " results of, accidental pregnancy, adaptation to marriage, advice to boys, advice to girls, advice to boys and girls, afterbirth, amativeness, amaurosis, amenorrhoea, animalcula, ante-natal influences, antediluvian wickedness, bad language, bad company, bad books, " " influence of, " " effects of, balls, demoralizing effect of, beauty, how to develop, beer-drinking by nursing mothers, beer, evil effects of, betrothal of infants, birth, changes at, bladder, irritation of, boarding-schools, danger of, books, bad, " obscene, brain, male and female, breasts, " atrophy of the, breath, causes of foul, "bundling," cancer, cause of, " of the womb, castration, catamenia, causes of unchastity, cells, development of, chastity, chlorosis, , cider, evil effects of, circumcision, , civilization, perverting influence of, classification of living creatures, clitoris, , coitus, colds, how to prevent, colostrum, conception, prevention of, condiments, , conjugal onanism, constipation, consumption, " cause of, , continence, " male, " not injurious, " difficulty of, " helps to, conversation, trifling, copulation, courtship, " evils of, courtships, long, crime, source of, " cause of, criminality hereditary, critical period, a, dancing, day-dreams, desirable qualities, how to produce, development, , " premature, development in higher animals, diet, " influence on chastity, disease, " obscure causes of, diurnal emissions, divorce, loose laws of, dozing, danger of, dreams, " how to control, dress and sensuality, dressing unhealthfully, dress reform, drinks, stimulating, drugs, dwarfs, dysmenorrhoea, dyspepsia, " cause of, early associations, " marriage, " training, " " lack of, " decline, cause of, egypt a hot-bed of vice, electricity, embryo, " simple structure of, " stages of growth of, emissions, effect of, " internal, " nocturnal, endurance of women, epilepsy, " cause of, evil habits, excesses, marital, " results of, " effects of on wives, " effects of on husbands, extra-uterine pregnancy, eyes, weakness of, fallopian tube, false delicacy, " training, fashion, " and vice, fashionable dissipation, fecundation, " in flowers, " modes of, " in fishes, " in reptiles, " in higher animals, " in hermaphrodites, feeling apparatus, females, imperfect, female organs, " organs of flowers, fetus, respiration of, " influenced through the blood, fishes, development in, " fecundation in, filthy dreams, " talkers, flirtation, evils of, " youthful, " childish, flowers, polygamous, " female organs of, " fecundation in, fomentations, foods, stimulating, force, life, functions of life, general debility, generation, laws of, " physiological, " spontaneous, " ancient theory of, gestation, duration of, girlhood, girls, a chapter for, " causes which lead astray, " how ruined, gluttony, habit, power of, health essential to beauty, health hints, , heart disease, heredity, " laws of, " of disease, " of crime, hermaphrodism, hermaphrodites, fecundation in, hip bath, human machine, the, human wrecks, human form, human buds, husbands, improvident, hybrids, hymen, hysteria, , " causes of, , idiocy, " cause of, idleness, ignorance, ill-health of girls, causes of, illustrative cases, imbecility, impotence, , " not produced by continence, infanticide, " among various nations, infant intoxication, infants, betrothal of, insanity, " cause of, , instinct, lessons from, " a safe guide, internal emissions, intestinal worms, juke family, the, labia, the, labor, lacing, law of heredity applied, " of sex, legalized murder, " vice, leucorrhoea, libidinous blood, licentious worship, licentiousness, results of, life, " beginning of, " force, " origin of, " modern modes of, " when it begins, " uterine, literature, poisonous, living beings, love, perverted, lust, effect upon child, male organs, " continence, mammary glands, marriage, , " evils of ill-mated, " effect of late, " experimental, " forbidden, " of cousins, " of criminals, " of paupers, " but not love, " customs of different nations, marital excesses, " rights, masturbation, , " treatment of, " prevention of, " effects in females, " effects on offspring, " self-helps to cure, menopause, the, menorrhagia, menses, menstrual period, duration of, menstruation, " nature of, mental unchastity, " culture, milk, influence of upon children, mind, cause of unbalanced, mormonism, monsters, mock piety, moderation, modesty, mothers, a warning to, " their work, moral contagion, moving apparatus, multiple births, navel, the, nervous diseases, " debility, treatment of, nocturnal emissions, novel-reading, nursing, nutrition, nutritive apparatus, nymphae, the, nymphomania, objects of life, obscene books, obscenity, oneida community, the, organized beings, organization, ovary, ovum, " discharge of, " size of, " expulsion of from ovary, " union of the, with the zoosperm, pangenesis, doctrine of, paralysis, parturition, " painless, passion, inherited, passions, how excited, pedestrianism, pernicious books, influence of, penis, the, , physical differences in sex, piles, pimples, placenta, plants, sex of, pictures, vile, poisonous literature, polyandry, polygamous flowers, polygamy, " defense of, " exposed, " of great men, precocity, " sexual, " indications of, pregnancy, " duration of, " extra-uterine, " indulgence during, premature development, " decay, prevention of conception, priapism, prostate gland, " " enlargement of the, prostitution, " in greece, pruritis, puberty, " premature, " influence of diet on, " changes at, " influence of climate on, pudenda, the, purifying apparatus, quacks, , race degeneration, cause of, religion, help of, religious novels, " insanity, reproduction, , , " elements of, " in polyps, " anatomy of, " curious modes of, " in the honey bee, " in lower animals, reproductive organs, " functions, " apparatus, " elements, union of, reptiles, fecundation in, " development in, respiration in woman, " of the fetus, results of abortion, roman emperors, licentiousness of, satyriasis, scrotum, the, secret vice, " " evidences of, " " prevalence of, " " terrible effects of, self-abuse, , " causes of, , " effects of, " the signs of, " results of, " treatment of, " not a modern vice, " physical causes of, " how to cure the habit of, self-control, self-pollution, self-murder, seminal fluid, the, , senility, senile children, " sexuality, sentimental books, " young women, " literature, influence of, sex, " in plants, " in animals, " law of, " of fetus, sexual differences, " organs of plants, " " of animals, " relations, the, " precocity, " " causes of, " activity, the limit of, shaker views, sitz-baths, sleeping, social lepers, " evil, the, " " causes of the, " " cure of the, solitary vice, " " alarming prevalence of, " " unsuspected cause of, spaying, spermatozoa, " size of, spermatorrhoea, spinal irritation, sterility, stimulants the cause of self-abuse, stricture, suicide, cause of, "tarrying," tea and coffee, " " " bad effects of, testicles, position of, " wasting of, temperaments, thinking apparatus, thoughts, evil, throat disease, cause of, time to marry, tobacco, " evil effects of, " grave charges against, twins, umbilical cord, unchaste conversation, unchastity, causes of, " of the ancients, " physical causes of, unconsidered murders, uterus, uterine life, " douche, " disease, , " gestation, urinary diseases, urethra, the, vagina, the, , varicocele, vegetable husbands, vice legalized, vicious companions, vital force, definition of, " organs of man and woman, vision, dimness of, vulva, the, waltz, the, its sensuality, weak backs, wine, evil effects of, wives, on trial, " sale of, among the russians, woman, servitude of, " her responsibility, woman's rights, women, indian, " hebrew, womb, cancer of the, works by the same author. the home hand-book of domestic hygiene and rational medicine.--this work has met with a most cordial reception everywhere, from both physicians and the 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[ transcriber's note: every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible, including inconsistencies in spelling and hyphenation; changes (corrections of spelling and punctuation) made to the original text are listed at the end of this file. ] plain talks on avoided subjects. by henry n. guernsey, m. d., ex-professor of obstetrics and diseases of women and children in the homoeopathic medical college of penn'a; ex-professor of materia medica and institutes in the hahnemann medical college of philadelphia and dean of the faculty; author of guernsey's obstetrics, including the disorders peculiar to women and young children; lectures on materia medica, &c. honorary member of the hahnemannian medical institute of phila- delphia; of the homoeopathic medical society of the state of new york; of the instituto homeopatico, mexicano; of the hahn- emannian society of madris de tulio, spain; member of the american institute of homoeopathy; consulting physician to the west philadelphia homoeo- pathic hospital for children, &c. &c. philadelphia f. a. davis company, publishers copyrighted, , by h. n. guernsey. m. d. this little volume is fervently and solemnly dedicated to its mission. those who conscientiously read and faithfully apply its teachings to life, cannot fail to become wiser, better and happier members of the home circle and of society at large. preface. for many years i have wished that some able pen would place before the community at large the knowledge contained in the following pages. some of this information has appeared from time to time in such books as "graham's lectures on chastity," "todd's students' manual," and a few popular works of a similar kind, which have been of immense service to the human race in preserving chastity and in reclaiming the unchaste. but all these are now inadequate to the growing demand for more light on these vital topics. it has been too much the custom for everyone, parents included, to shrink from instructing their own children, or those entrusted to their care, on these points; consequently, many young people _solely from their ignorance_ fall into the direst evils of a sexual nature and are thereby much injured and sometimes wholly ruined for life's important duties. an experience of forty years in my professional career has afforded me thousands of opportunities for sympathizing with young men, and young women too, who had unconsciously sunk into these very evils merely for want of an able writer to place this whole subject truthfully and squarely before them, or for some wise friend to perform the same kind office verbally. the perusal of a work by wm. acton, m. r. c. s., of london, on "the functions and disorders of the reproductive organs in childhood, youth, adult age, and advanced life," has, by his purity of sentiments, which have ever been identical with my own, both inspired and emboldened me to write a work of similar import. but his is for the profession while mine is for the profession and the laity, of both sexes and of any age. may its perusal inspire the readers with a higher appreciation of the matters herein treated, and with a greater effort to reformatory measures everywhere. whenever i advise the consulting of a "judicious" (a term i use many times) physician, i mean one fully and practically qualified, both by inherent qualities and education, for the fullest confidence of his patients. i am indebted to my son, joseph c. guernsey, m. d., for assistance in editing and carrying this work through the press. henry n. guernsey, m. d., chestnut st., philad'a. june, . contents. chapter i. introductory, chapter ii. the infant, chapter iii. childhood, chapter iv. adolescence of the male, chapter v. adolescence of the female, chapter vi. marriage.--the husband, chapter vii. the wife, chapter viii. husband and wife, chapter ix. to the unfortunate, chapter x. origin of the sex, chapter i. introductory. in the creation of the world and all that therein is, we should consider it an axiom that "everything was created for use." all individual substances, or beings, that come to our notice bear certain relations to one another, have connection one with another, and are dependent upon and useful to each other; and nothing could possibly exist or subsist without this co-relation: connection with and use to each other. this is a law which needs only a little reflection to be accepted as a truth in every particular--in the greatest as well as in the least created form. this is more plainly seen in the animal kingdom than in the mineral or vegetable, because its members associate and finally become conjoined in pairs. man and woman, who represent the crown and glory of all created beings, in whom are embodied all the lower orders, were and are still created to associate in pairs--each created for the other, the one to help the other; the two to love and to belong to one another. this principle, fully carried out, justifies and shows the necessity for the creation of man and woman precisely as they are, having bodies, parts and passions, will and understanding. it is my intention in the following pages to explain the relations existing between the sexes, for the purpose of showing that the greatest happiness to the human race will be found in living a life in full accord with these relations. in order that the subject may be fully understood, let us examine the physical development of man and woman in detail, particularizing the different organs of the body as they appear in their order of formation, from the very inmost or beginning, to the ultimate or end, in their respective natures. ever since the primal creation of man and woman, the human race has been perpetuated by a series of births. children have been conceived in harmony with the natural order of events, in such matters, and have been born boys and girls. a boy is a boy to all intents and purposes from his very conception, from the very earliest moment of his being; begotten by his father he is a boy in embryo within the ovule of his mother. the converse is true of the opposite sex. at this very early age of reproduction the embryo has all the elements of the future man or woman, mentally and physically, even before any form becomes apparent; and so small is the human being at the earliest stage of its existence that no material change is observable between the ovule that contains the product of conception and a fully developed ovule unimpregnated.[a] [a] for fuller particulars see guernsey's obstetrics, d edition, pages  - , inclusive. it is about twelve days after conception before the impregnated ovule, which undergoes many changes during this time, makes its escape from the ovary where it became impregnated and enters one of the fallopian tubes, thence gradually descending into the cavity of the womb. here it begins to mature and become fitted for its birth into the outer world. soon now the embryo (for such it is called at this early stage) begins to assume form. the first indication of formation that it is possible to discover, even by the help of the microscope, consists of an oblong figure, obtuse at one extremity, swollen in the middle, blunt-pointed at the other extremity. the rudimentary embryo is slightly curved forward, is of a grayish white color, of a gelatinous consistence, from two to four lines long and weighs one or two grains. a slight depression representing the neck, enables us to distinguish the head; the body is marked by a swollen centre, but there are as yet no traces of the extremities. so much can be observed about the end of the third week after conception. at about the _fifth week_ the embryo presents more distinctions. the head is very large in proportion to the rest of the body, the eyes are represented by two black spots, and the upper extremities by small protuberances on the sides of the trunk. the embryo at this stage is nearly two-thirds of an inch in length and weighs about fifteen grains. the lower extremities now begin to appear in the shape of two minute rounded tubercles. till about this time a straight artery has been observed to beat with the regularity of the pulse; but now it appears doubled somewhat into the shape of an adult heart, although as yet it has but one auricle and one ventricle. as time advances we find the perfect heart with its two ventricles and two auricles, all developed from the original straight artery. at this period the lungs appear to exist in five or six different lobes and we can barely distinguish the bronchial tubes; about the same time the ears and face are distinctly outlined, and after awhile the nose is also faintly and imperfectly perceived. at about the _seventh week_ a little bony deposit is found in the lower jaw. the kidneys now begin to be formed, and a little later the genital organs. the embryo averages one inch in length. at _two months_ the rudiments of the extremities become more prominent. the forearm and hand can be distinguished but not the arm above the elbow; the hand is larger than the forearm, but is not supplied with fingers. the sex cannot yet be determined. the length of the embryo is from one inch and a half to two inches, and it weighs from three to five drachms. the eyes are discernible, but still uncovered by the rudimentary lids. the nose forms an obtuse eminence, the nostrils are rounded and separated, the mouth is gaping and the epidermis can be distinguished from the true skin. at _ten weeks_ the embryo is from one and a half to two and a half inches long, and its weight is from one ounce to an ounce and a half, the eyelids are more developed and descend in front of the eyes; the mouth begins to be closed by the development of the lips. the walls of the chest are more completely formed, so that it is no longer possible to see the movements of the heart. the fingers become distinct and the toes appear as small projections webbed together like a frog's foot. at about this period the sexual organs show their development as follows: on each side of the urinary locality an oblong fold becomes distinguishable; in course of progress if these folds remain separate, a little tubercle forms in the anterior commissure which becomes the clitoris; the nymphæ develop, the urethra forms between them, and the female sex is determined. if, on the other hand, these folds unite into a rounded projection the scrotum is formed, the little tubercle above becomes the penis and hence the male sex. the testicles forming within the body, descend later into the scrotum, and organs similar to them, their counterparts, form in the female and are called ovaries. these ovaries are found attached to an organ called the womb, and this again is united with the vagina, which leads downwards and outwards between the labia majora.[b] [b] for fuller particulars see guernsey's obstetrics. at the end of the _third month_ the weight of the embryo is from three to four ounces and its length from four to five inches, the eyeballs are seen through the lids, the pupils of the eyes are discernible, the forehead, nose and lips can be clearly distinguished. the finger nails resemble thin membranous plates, the skin shows more firmness, but is still rosy-hued, thin and transparent. the sex can now be fully determined. at the end of the _fourth month_ the product of conception is no longer called an embryo, but a foetus. the body is from six to eight inches in length and weighs six or seven ounces. a few little white hairs are seen scattered over the scalp. the development of the face is still imperfect. the eyes are now closed by their lids, the nostrils are well-formed, the mouth is shut in by the lips and the sex is still more sharply defined. the tongue may be observed far back in the mouth, and the lower part of the face is rounded off by what a little later will be a well-formed chin. the movements of the foetus are by this time plainly felt by the mother, and if born at this time it may live several months. at the end of the _fifth month_ the body of the foetus is from seven to nine inches long and weighs from eight to eleven ounces. the skin has a fairer appearance and more consistence; the eyes can no longer be distinguished through the lids, owing to the increased thickness of the latter. the head, heart and kidneys are large and well developed. at the end of the _sixth month_ the foetus is from eleven to twelve and a half inches in length, and weighs about sixteen ounces, more or less. the hair upon the scalp is thicker and longer, the eyes remain closed, and very delicate hairs may be seen upon the margins of the eye-lids and upon the eye-brows. the nails are solid, the scrotum small and empty, the surface of the skin appears wrinkled but the dermis may be distinguished from the epidermis. the liver is large and red, and the gall-bladder contains fluid. at the end of the _seventh month_ the length of the foetus is from twelve and a half to fourteen inches, its weight is about fifty-five ounces, and it is both well defined and well proportioned in all its parts. the bones of the cranium, hitherto quite flat, now appear a little arched, and as the process of ossification goes on, the arching increases till the vault is quite complete. the brain presents greater firmness, and the eye-lids are opened. the skin is much firmer and red. the gall-bladder contains bile. at the end of the _eighth month_ the foetus seems to thicken up rather than to increase in length, since it is only from sixteen to eighteen inches long while its weight increases from four to five pounds. the skin is red, and characterized at this period by a fine downy covering, over which is spread a quantity of thick viscous matter, called the sebaceous coat, which has been forming since the latter part of the fifth month. the lower jaw has now become as long as the upper one, and in the male the left testicle may be found in the scrotum. convolutions appear in the brain structure. at _nine months_ the anxious time of parturition has arrived. the foetus is from nineteen to twenty-three inches in length and weighs on an average from six to eight pounds. children at birth sometimes weigh as much as fourteen pounds; but such extremes are very rare. at this period the white and grey matter of the brain are distinct, and the convolutions are well marked; the nails assume a horny consistence, hair upon the head is more or less abundant, the testes are in the scrotum, and the entire external genital organs of both male and female are well formed. the above particulars respecting the development of the human being have been narrated to show that one organ is just as important as another, and that each is really dependent upon the other; no one could exist without the other and all are to subserve a use. first must be the _esse_ (the inmost) the vital force imparted to the ovule. a little later certain changes take place in the ovule, later still other changes, and finally about the fifteenth day a slight development of the new human being can just be outlined by the help of the microscope, which, as before stated, has form at about the third week after conception. first the vestige of a head and body, a little later the heart and lungs appear lying in the open chest; then the hands are protruded from the sides of the trunk, afterwards the forearms, then the arms, all pushed out from the body; the feet and legs gradually protrude from the lower end of the trunk, and the chest closes up so that the heart and lungs can no longer be seen; the face, mouth and eyes take form, the external genital organs make their appearance in conjunction with other developments, and in due course of time the boy or girl is born ready for further developments in childhood, and adolescence. when the latter development has been attained, if due care has been taken by all interested parties, we have pure men and pure women fitted to enter upon the privileges and the _uses_ of a wedded life according to the design of our creator. how wonderfully and how instructively are all organs in the animal body disposed and arranged! in the highest place we find the brain to govern and rule over all below. it is the first organ formed and in an orderly life should control all the others. next in order and importance are the heart and lungs, which put into motion all other parts and enable the animal frame to continue in motion. so each and every organ is developed in its proper order, all to obey the commands of the first and most important--the brain, the seat of the reason and the will. happy are they of either sex who will govern themselves by a pure enlightened reason and a pure affectionate will. chapter ii. the infant. embracing the first year of the child's life. the battle of life really begins as soon as the child is born. its cleanliness, its clothing, its temperature and its food are matters for daily observance and care, as also are the light, sunshine and air which it is to breathe. opiates, soothing syrups and cordials, are to be strictly avoided as being deleterious to health; proper sanitary measures usually suffice to render all _dosing_ unnecessary. spirituous potions and lotions should be avoided as being contrary to the laws of hygiene as well as for fear the child may learn to love and to become addicted to their use later in life. every organ of the body should be carefully protected even at this early age, so that health may reign supreme. particular care and the utmost solicitude should be bestowed upon the genital organs. no rubbing or handling of these parts should be permitted under any pretense whatever--beyond what may be absolutely necessary for cleanliness. the genital organs require just as much watchful care, if not more, as the stomach, the eye, the ear, &c. i regret to say that i have known some fathers to tickle the genital organs of their infant boys until a complete erection of the little penis ensued, which effect pleases the father as an evidence of a robust boy. the evil effects of such a procedure are too manifest to require dilating upon. fathers take warning! nurses are known to quiet young children by gently exciting pleasurable sensations about the genital organs both of males and females--practices which are the most vicious and vice-begetting that can possibly be invented. many a young man and young woman has fallen to very low depths from influences developed by these and similar means. nurses should be cautioned in this matter _and carefully watched too_, as even the least suspected may (innocently perhaps) be guilty of this fault to save themselves the trouble of quieting their charges in a proper way. early impressions upon these animal passions, as well as those made upon other senses of the young, are very abiding. mothers be watchful! great care should be exercised in the choice of a diaper for infants and the material of which it is made. the diaper should fit easily about the organs which it covers and protects, so as not to cause undue heating or friction of the parts; and immediately after a babe has soiled itself either with urine or from a motion of the bowels, it should be made clean and dry at once to avoid any irritation that would otherwise ensue upon these delicate parts. the material of which the diaper is made should not be stiff or harsh, but very limp, soft and pliable; nor should it be thick and bungling. there are great objections to the use of oil-cloth, rubber or other impervious materials as they prevent the escape of perspiration, urine, fecal matter, etc. as soon as possible, say near the end of the first year, the child should be taught to use its little chair-commode, thus dispensing with the diaper at an early age. this is much better for the sexual organs, is more comfortable for the child and is more healthy; it also favors a more perfect development of the limbs and joints, the hip joints particularly. chapter iii. childhood. childhood is that portion of life extending from infancy to adolescence, which in boys occurs at the age of fourteen to sixteen years; and in girls at the age of twelve to fourteen years. in very warm climates adolescence is reached some two or three years earlier. most fortunate the infant who has completed its term of life, thus far, in accordance with the strictest rules of hygiene, or the laws of health. "in a state of health sexual impressions should never affect a child's mind or body. all its vital energy should be employed in constructing the growing frame, in storing up proper external impressions and in educating the brain to receive them." unfortunately this state of health is not always attained. impressions may be exhibited in these organs at a very early age either from inheritance, from improper handling or from some morbid condition of the child that could show itself in no other organ of the body and which, like morbid conditions in general, make their appearance somewhere in the mind or body. sexual precocity.--many parents who are most particular in all other respects, as to the moral and physical training of their children, imagine there is no need to pay any special attention to the genital organs. this, however, is a grave mistake and needs our careful consideration. as is well known, some children evince a sexual precocity which may lead to very serious results. in these it often happens that the sexual instinct arises long before puberty; such children, if males, manifest an instinctive attraction towards the female sex which they show by constantly spying after their nurses, chambermaids, etc.; by seeking as much as possible to play with children of the opposite sex and improperly toying with them. [c]"one case is so remarkable that an abstract of it may be instructive: m. d----, between five and six years of age, was one day in summer in the room of a dressmaker who lived in the family; this girl thinking that she might put herself at ease before such a child, threw herself on her bed, almost without clothing. the little d---- had followed all her motions and regarded her figure with a greedy eye. he approached her on the bed, as if to sleep, but soon became so bold in his behavior that the girl, after having laughed at him for some time was obliged to put him out of the room. this girl's simple imprudence produced such an impression on the child that forty years afterwards he had not forgotten a single circumstance connected with it." [c] lallemand and wilson, page . parents are remarkably careless on this point. they allow children to play together for hours at a time without the surveillance of an older person, provided only they are removed from any danger. it is sufficient to merely draw attention to such a custom as every reflective mind can easily draw the inevitable consequences. habits are indulged in and marks of familiarity shown which should not for an instant be tolerated. causes which commonly produce sexual impressions on young children are, allowing them to repose playfully on their belly, to slide down bannisters, to go too long without urinating, constipation or straining at stool, cutaneous affections, and worms. also, thoughtless acts of elder people which are very frequently more closely observed than is commonly supposed. the sliding down bannisters produces a titillation which is agreeable to the sexual organs. children of both sexes will constantly repeat this act until they learn to become inveterate masturbators, even at a very early age. among boys a disease called _priapism_ is often developed; this arises from undue handling of the parts, or from some morbid state of the child's health. the disorder consists of paroxysms, occurring more or less frequently, of violent erections of the penis; these sometimes become very painful and require the attention of a physician. at all events medical aid should be sought at once, because some functional derangement is at work which might, if not arrested and cured, give rise to masturbation. owing to unknown causes such morbid conditions induce some little boys to pull frequently at the foreskin of the penis until their health is seriously impaired; they pine away, lose flesh, and still continue to worry at the foreskin, till death has been known to result. these cases require the most careful and skillful constitutional treatment, until they are cured. sometimes, in other cases, the foreskin becomes inflamed, offensive secretions may form about the end of the penis, etc. all such disorders should be submitted to a judicious physician at once, to avoid irritations which might result in a tendency to sexual excitement--a calamity truly deplorable to the young. the idea which some writers advance--that a long prepuce (or foreskin) often proves an exciting cause of troublesome sensations to the boy, is certainly erroneous. so, too, it is all wrong to state that particular care should be taken to wash under the prepuce. that this objection in regard to washing is true, is proved from the physical fact that in a large majority of boys the orifice of the foreskin is not sufficiently opened to permit of these washings. and the objection is still further proved by the fact that all these unnatural secretions, offensive odors, sensations, etc., which irritate and worry a boy together with all inflammations of these parts are soon relieved and permanently cured by the proper medicament. needless laving, handling or rubbing the sexual parts should be avoided as strictly as possible. to show how little good such washings really do, even though persisted in, i will mention one out of many similar cases: "in spite of repeated washings every day, a fetid smegma was deposited in considerable quantity on the glans, causing a tiresome burning and itching." all such cases are utterly intractable by any amount of bathing. but the suitable remedy administered internally cures the trouble permanently in a few weeks and at the same time improves the general tone and health of the individual. this is so because the proper remedy removes the morbific cause which produced that condition of the penis and all concomitant symptoms, at the same time. it must be remembered that the troubles referred to above come from within, and that they are but developments of internal morbific causes. in a similar manner, small pox, measles, chicken pox and all eruptive diseases come _out_ as products from morbific causes _within_. no sane person ever thinks of washing off these appearances with the hope of curing the case! all our external parts were made just as they should be and they work in harmony so long as we are perfectly healthy inwardly. every blemish upon the skin, even to a wart, has a corresponding morbid influence within, which can be removed by proper treatment. let it be remembered then for all coming time that a little boy's penis is never to be meddled or trifled with, nor his foreskin, nor the parts about the generative organs. all unnatural conditions, appearances or sensations require prompt and proper medical aid. if erections of his little penis occur during sleep, or if he cannot urinate promptly on rising in the morning, because of an erection, let these conditions beget an anxiety for his welfare and at once seek a judicious physician, who will be able to prescribe a medicament to arrest all further development of sexual precocity--an affliction so baneful to the young. a little later in life children are liable to ascarides or seat worms, called by some "pin worms." no applications, purgatives, "vermifuges," injections or other mechanical means should ever be employed to remove these, as they are of constitutional origin and should be so treated, until perfectly cured. removing the worms by irritants or by mechanical means does not remove the _cause_ of their existence or reproduction in the body. the dyscrasia that gives rise to these worms, with the accompanying itching and tickling, is apt to cause a sexual excitement which may prove more disastrous than the original trouble itself. therefore be sure that this affection is treated constitutionally; so long as the vital forces work in harmonious order, no abnormal appearances of any kind can come to light, because they do not exist. from the age of nine to fourteen, boys generally acquire very curious notions about sexual affairs and are naturally, from what they hear, desirous of obtaining some idea of sexual congress, a knowledge of where babies come from, etc. this curiosity, of course, causes the mind to dwell much upon sexual subjects. i fully believe that good information will, by satisfying this curiosity, free the mind to a great extent from sexual thoughts. it is from such very thoughts that boys are led to play with their sexual organs in secret, and to handle them so as to excite pleasurable sensations; erections of the penis are thus produced and finally, by this continual excitation with the hand, the height of sexual orgasm is reached, ejaculation of semen occurs and _self-pollution_ is the consequence. this act is called "masturbation" and becomes a _secret vice of the worst kind_! very frequently and to an alarming extent "masturbation" is taught by older boys, and by young men even, in nearly all our colleges, boarding, public and private schools, and by companions under the paternal roof. this act is repeated time after time until the degrading and destructive (morally and physically so) habit is confirmed. as a result, the boy grows thin, pale, morose and passionate; then weak, indolent and indifferent; his digestion becomes impaired, his sleep short, disturbed and broken; he sometimes becomes epileptic or falls into a state of marasmus; in any case he is in great danger of being totally ruined forever. there is a great difference in boys regarding the formation of these habits. while some may almost insensibly glide into them, others, intuitively as it were, turn away from all such temptations and banish all thoughts of a sexual nature from their minds at once. this is right. so long as a boy's mind refuses to harbor such baleful approaches, so long he is safe; but the moment he heeds them and allows them to enter his mind, that moment he is in danger and will most likely fall into bad habits. he must strenuously resist all such thoughts and going to his father or mother tell them about his trials and temptations and strive to forget them until success crowns his efforts. by persistent efforts, by repeated prayers to the lord for help, by reading his bible and good, pure stories, by running into the open air and indulging in some useful occupation or joyous, healthful play, he will eventually conquer them and thus rise to the dignity of a true man. sometimes, too, it may be necessary to consult the physician for help. in addition to the instinctive shrinking which every right minded person generally feels from putting ideas of impurity into a child's innocent mind, a parent's pride leads him to hope that _his_ boy would not indulge in any such mean and disgusting practices. but, bearing in mind the advice of herbert spencer--"that the aim of discipline should be to produce a _self-governing_ being," the best advice a parent or guardian can, and ought, to give, is: do not harbor bad thoughts or feelings about anything; at once turn them away and think of something else, of something good, true and pure. indulge in no hatred or revengeful feelings towards others; plot no evil things; always be true to your word, faithful to your duties and charitable to all. treat everybody kindly and politely. and further, a child should be _taught_ what "chastity" really is, instead of leaving him to find it out as best he may. it should be clearly explained to him that true chastity requires the shunning of all indecency and foul language; that he should refrain from touching his secret parts except when the necessities of nature require it; that all sexual emotions should be subjugated. when he grows older every boy should be taught that chastity means continence; and it should be firmly impressed upon his mind that all lascivious actions are a drain upon his whole system and weaken the powers which the lord has given him to be employed _only_ in the married state. these are characteristics of a true man and will help him very much to keep out of sexual difficulties which, as we shall see further on, are among the greatest curses of life. the use of tobacco, wine, coffee or tea by children is well known to be highly injurious. never allow a child to use either of these--not even in small quantities. a too common practice in many families is to allow a little wine at dinner "to assist digestion!" others allow coffee or tea, "because my child is so fond of it." "the after-effects of all these is to disturb the heart, to cause nervousness and irritability, and _to weaken the sexual organs in a marked degree_. tobacco particularly has this last effect in old and young, besides producing convulsions, a dulled intellect, etc."[d] [d] lallemand and wilson. remember where the brain is and the purposes for which it has been given! here reside the knowledge and the power to govern all below it. no matter what the stomach craves or how strongly the appetite begs for this or that; no matter how much one may be tempted to steal, to lie or to swear; no matter how much the sexual organs may lead one to think about or handle them--here is the great and good brain, the home of the will-power, which says: "touch not, taste not, handle not." so long as these commands are listened to and obeyed, one is safe. the desire need not and should not control the act--but the rational faculty can and will control, when early taught to do so. the more one is led by this rational faculty the easier it becomes to follow it, and _vice versa_. what has been said above regarding the danger of little boys falling into bad habits applies with equal force to little girls. do not forget this. they too may have sexual thoughts, feelings and curiosity, and care must be taken to keep their minds pure and bodies healthy. they are also liable to disorders that require prompt and careful attention, such as inflammations, excoriations, itchings and swellings of the genital organs with discharges from these parts resembling leucorrhoea. all such conditions lead them to more or less rub and scratch these parts--which should never be touched--for relief. pleasurable sensations are experienced and then comes masturbation--_a sin chargeable to the parent_ for not having given the matter proper medical attention. "repeated washings" will no more cure these cases in little girls than, as shown above, will they cure in little boys. all these are but the outcropping of some constitutional affection and should be treated accordingly. no applications or medicated washings of any kind should be allowed. such external treatment only palliates the suffering for a little while without removing the disordered vital force that gave origin to its appearance. this is simply repressed and may react upon the child and appear in another form tenfold worse than the first. the passing of urine or fecal matter may (in either sex) cause irritation and excoriation; this is another sign that all is not right in the vital forces and should be mentioned to the physician as a sure index that medical treatment, but not topical applications, is absolutely necessary. all abnormal appearances, actions and discomforts of the child, whether mental or physical, should be submitted to an experienced and judicious physician. a healthy child should be happy and comfortable in all respects. a very successful plan for keeping children from vice or vicious habits is to see that their time is fully occupied with amusements and duties which interest them. they need a great deal of harmlessly conducted amusement and--do _not_ strive to "keep them quiet." allow little boys and girls to play together, under proper surveillance, and let them be boisterous if they will; let them romp and run, climb fences, trundle hoops, jump rope, go to dancing school, participate in military drills, go coasting and skating, take swimming lessons, etc. no judicious parents will allow a son or daughter to be alone much; to seek to be alone is always a bad sign and should be carefully guarded against without its being known that such precaution is observed. furnish them liberally with instructive and innocent story books and let them read aloud to you or to each other. take them to walk or ride when you go, and strive to make companions of them as much as possible, making whatever sacrifices are necessary to attain this end. above all, _encourage their making confidants of you_. let them feel that they can come and talk freely on any subject, no matter what its nature may be. do this, and you have thrown around them a bulwark of defence that will withstand the repeated attacks of hosts of evil spirits. when night comes and they go to bed, let them learn to go to sleep at once; no play then--they may be read to sleep, but no romping or playing. no strange children should be allowed to sleep with yours; make them occupy separate rooms or at least separate beds; be sure that the sleeping places of your children are sacred to them alone. nor is it advisable for children to sleep with a grown person of either sex and particularly not with servants--all for obvious reasons. the observance of all these precautions against influences that might excite sexual disturbance is most sacred in its character and most needful even in a religious point of view; for there should be _chastity_ above all things. chapter iv. adolescence of the male. adolescence of the male embraces the period of life from the age of fourteen or sixteen years to the age of twenty-five. at about the age of fourteen years "the period of youth is distinguished by that advance in the evolution of the generative apparatus in both sexes, and by that acquirement of its power of functional activity, which constitutes the state of _puberty_." at this age the following great changes take place in the general appearance and deportment of the male: his frame becomes more angular and the masculine proportions more pronounced; increased strength and greater powers of endurance are manifested; the larynx enlarges and the voice becomes lower in pitch as well as rougher and more powerful; new feelings and desires awaken in the mind. his deportment becomes more commanding, his frivolity is less and less apparent, and the boy is lost in the man. if he has been so fortunate as to escape all the dangers and baneful influences of childhood, he is manly indeed, and we behold him with an unburdened conscience, bright intellect, frank address and good memory. his spirits are buoyant and his complexion clear; every function of his body is well performed, and no fatigue is felt after moderate exertion. he evinces that elasticity of body, and that happy control of himself and his feelings, which are indicative of the robust health and absence of care which should accompany youth. his time is devoted to his studies, duties and amusements; as he feels his stature increase, and his intellect enlarge, he gladly prepares for his coming struggle with the world. all boys may come to this condition with proper training through the period of infancy and childhood; and after arriving at the adolescent age of their existence as they have the power of mind to _choose_, so also have they the power to _refuse_. the human race is created above the animal so that we are something more than mere animals; we are human beings with human propensities, human passions, human desires and human tastes, which are subject to the human brain, to the human reason and to the human will--all elevated and ennobled by the divine will. man must not let himself down to be governed by animal passions; the moment he does that, his higher powers suffer and become weakened, and he becomes more like an inferior animal; if he persists in this downward course, his lower powers become strengthened until finally they transcend and rule the higher. then, to all intents and purposes, such a man's head is downwards and the lower part of his body is upwards just where his head ought to be. man is a human being, yet, like the whole animal kingdom, he has appetites, desires and passions, as it is absolutely necessary that he should have. he has organs corresponding to these appetites, desires and passions, and it is necessary that he should have them. a proper understanding in regard to this matter will convince anyone of the truth of this assertion. our creator doeth all things wisely and well, in the most perfect manner possible. consequently, man with all his organs, parts and passions is just what he should be when he blossoms into youth, in the perfection of his adolescence as described above. in fact there could be no other form of creating man, for the lord always creates in the most perfect way possible, according to one harmonious law which he has ordained to govern the creation of all beings. such a man is fully prepared to struggle with himself and the world at large. in his desires, appetites or passions of any kind, he, in his humanity, protected by his rational faculties and enlightened by the divine oracle of god, unquestionably has the power to choose between propriety and impropriety, between the right and the wrong, between the good and the bad. take any evil into which a member of the human family may fall--the love of ardent spirit for instance; he first thinks of it and desires to partake of some. finally he takes an opportunity to gratify his desire, does satisfy it for the time and thinks it very nice. the next craving is a little more intense, and he cannot overcome the temptation quite so easily as he could have done before, and at last he indulges again. so he goes on, step by step, until he may fall very low. _the same thinking, feeling and desiring precedes the adoption of every vicious habit that was ever formed._ nor will anyone pretend to say that a persistent effort of the will power, at the very outset, when he first perceived the tendencies of his desires to do what he need not do, would not have prevented the evil; no argumentation will prevail in the face of stubborn facts, and the real facts are all on the side of purity and order. these very young men or youths, as they progress through adolescence, may become tempted in a variety of ways, some to the use of ardent spirits or tobacco, others to lie, to steal, to forge, &c.; but the approach to all these evils is gradual and first comes through the mind. they first think about the action, turn it over and over in their minds until they come to greatly desire and then, later, to commit the evil which would not have been ultimated if the mind had been persistently set against it in the beginning. this is an indisputable fact. in this manner many promising youths, just as they are blossoming into the pride of early manhood, begin to indulge in sexual thoughts and to allow these thoughts to influence their minds until they commit some of the evils to which perverted and unchaste passions lead them. if this evil be masturbation, then they are on the direct road to ruin, as will be seen described further on. if it be the commission of sexual intercourse with women, their ruin is still more certain, and in the latter case they are exposed to one of the worst poisons that can possibly infect the human race. i do not overdraw the picture when i declare that _millions of human beings die annually from the effects of poison contracted in this way_, in some form of suffering or another; for, by insinuating its effects into and poisoning the whole man, it complicates various disorders and renders them incurable. when gonorrhoea is contracted, although frequently suppressed by local treatment in the form of injections, it is never perfectly cured thereby. no; the hidden poison runs on for a life time producing strictures, dysuria, gleet and kindred diseases; finally, in old men, a horrible prostatitis results from which the balance of one's life is rendered miserable indeed. if inflammation of the lungs supervenes, there is often a translation of the virus to these vital organs, causing what is termed "plastic pneumonia," where one lobule after another becomes gradually sealed up, till nearly the whole of both lungs becomes impervious to air, and death results from asphyxia. this horrible infection sometimes becomes engrafted upon other acute diseases when lingering disorders follow, causing years of misery, and only terminating in death. if real syphilis, in the form of chancre, should be contracted, and in that form suppressed, we have buboes often of a malignant type, ulceration of the penis and a loss of some portion of this member. sometimes the poison attacks the throat, causing most destructive ulcerations therein; sometimes it seizes upon the nasal bones, resulting in their entire destruction and an awful disfiguration of the face; sometimes it ultimates itself in the ulceration and destruction of other osseous tissues in different portions of the body. living examples of these facts are too frequently witnessed in the streets of any large city. young men marrying with the slightest taint of this poison in the blood will surely transmit the disease to their children. thousands of abortions transpire every year from this cause alone, the poison being so destructive as to kill the child _in utero_, before it is matured for birth; and even if the child be born alive, it is liable to break down with the most loathsome disorders of some kind and to die during dentition; the few that survive this period are short lived and are unhealthy so long as they do live. the very first unchaste connection of a man with a woman may be attended with a contamination entailing upon him a life of suffering and even death itself. there is no safety among impure or loose women whether in private homes or in the very best regulated houses of ill-fame; even in paris, where, after women have been carefully examined and pronounced free from any infecting condition, the first man who visits one of them, often carries away a deadly enemy in his blood, which had lurked in concealment beyond the keen eye of the inspector. a young man, or a man at any age, is in far greater danger amidst company of this stamp, than he would be with a clear conscience and pure character in the midst of the wildest forest, full of all manner of poisonous serpents and wild beasts of every description. a knowledge of the above facts should be enough to chill the first impulse and to make any man who respects his own well-being, turn away and flee from the destruction that awaits him. as if the above sufferings were not a sufficient penalty for the transgression against the law--"be ye pure," we find yet another. coincident with the physical wreck, which syphilis makes of the man who becomes thoroughly tainted with its poison, comes his moral wreck. he loses all respect for the truth and all regard for his word; no dependence of any kind can be placed upon him, and he will not pay his debts or fulfil any moral obligation; all because he began by prostituting his mind more and more until, with deadened conscience, almost literally, his head is dependent and his feet uppermost, ruling all the better part of his nature. and next come the mental sufferings--and most agonizing they are. unhappy to the last degree, he no longer takes pleasure in life, but, wishing to die, finally commits suicide. a search in any insane asylum will show that a very large proportion of patients are made up from those who masturbate or have syphilis. stamp out these two evils, or rather _curses_ of the human race, and the supply that feeds our insane asylums, aye and our penitentiaries, too, will become vastly lessened. think of it! so many of the inhabitants of our prisons, asylums, and our poor-houses, are composed of men and women who have offended against nature's laws by violating their own sexual nature. add to this summary the list of broken-hearted, deflowered virgins and unwedded mothers, and you have the picture complete. what a contrast with that manliness of character from which he has fallen! now he is in an insane condition, blaming everyone for having contributed to his many misfortunes and his fallen condition, whereas he alone is the culprit. no one made him commit the first or any subsequent evil. he allowed his own mind to yield to the first temptation, and then went on from step to step, he alone being responsible for the result yield not the first point, and all is safe. the pride of perfect adolescence, as described a few pages back, is due to purity of thought, to chastity and continence. this purity shines through every tissue, enkindles the eye with a true expression, makes bright the countenance and erects the form. it gives elasticity to the step, causes harmony in the tones of the voice, and adds dignity to the carriage and deportment. the first step in the paths of vice in any form, whether in sexual errors or any other, detracts in the exact degree of the digression from all of the above beautiful and ennobling characteristics. we have spoken in the preceding pages of new feelings and desires being awakened in the youth after his fourteenth year. this change is wholly due to his approaching manhood, to the time when he will be fully prepared to appreciate, to love and protect, guide and support her whom he makes his wife, and to become the father of happy and healthy children. but this approach to manhood is not due to the development of the genital organs, as some writers affirm, for this would be a reversion of orderly development. the approaching manhood develops in full accordance to their uses and importance _all_ the organs belonging to man. as the well-developed infant has all its organs developed in a condition suitable for its state, and the child has all its organs in all parts of the body, developed in full accord with its state, so adolescence follows, and every organ must develop accordingly; and in this development a new impetus is given to every organ in the body. the whole man awakens to a newness of life as is seen in the change of his voice, the spreading out of his frame, the independence and command of his bearing, the activity of his brain, the soundness of his judgment, until he becomes in the fullest sense a rational being. of course the development of his genital organs keeps pace with that of his brain; but the brain should lead the way throughout the entire development of the human race. at the time of puberty, then, a new and a different sensation springs up in the generative organs, which is in perfect harmony with the uses for which they are intended. we recognize the use of the hands, the fingers, the feet, the eyes, the ears, the sense of taste, &c., and we use them accordingly. we should think of the generative organs only in the same light. they are intended for use, for the highest and holiest use of procreating human beings to the end that they may become angels in heaven. these organs were not made to be abused; but they are abused every time the mind is allowed to dwell upon them improperly. every excitation we allow from lewd thoughts or fancies, has a debasing and deteriorating effect upon that well-developed form, upon that conscience so free, and upon that countenance so open and bright, which has been described in the preceding pages. if the mere thought and excitation arising therefrom are injurious to the perfection of the youth, how much more injurious must be the ultimation of that thought in masturbation, in unlawful sexual intercourse, or in the loss of seminal fluid by other unnatural means. right here i feel impelled to say something of the difficulty of maintaining chastity. i, in connection with many of our best and wisest men who have given the subject a lifetime's most earnest consideration, hold that for a young man whose early education has been carefully looked to, and consequently, whose mind has not been debased by vile practices, it is no more impossible mentally, or injurious physically, to preserve his chastity than to refrain from yielding to any other of the innumerable temptations with which his life is beset. and every year of voluntary chastity renders the task easier by mere force of habit. i wish to be clearly understood in this matter. so long as a young man remains chaste in thought and deed, he will not suffer any bad effects from his continence. it is the _semicontinent_, the man who knows the right but pursues the wrong, who suffers! patients frequently complain that enforced continence makes them restless, irritable, unfit for mental application of any sort, &c. sexual intercourse is then indulged in, and presto: for the time being, what a welcome change. the now unclogged mind grasps with vigor any subject presented to it, the spirits are exuberant and the physical frame buoyant. but, is the trouble cured, is it permanently eradicated from the system? no! in a short time the symptoms reappear and the same remedy is again sought. the more the sexual feelings are indulged the more frequent will be their recurrence, and the result need not be written; every candid mind can easily see it. to their shame and confusion be it said, there are many physicians who, when consulted by their patients for medical assistance in such trials, "deliberately encourage the early indulgence of the passions, on the false and wicked ground that self-restraint is incompatible with health. what abhorrence can be too deep for a doctrine so destructive, or for the teachers who thus, before the eyes of those whose youthful ignorance, whose sore natural temptation, rather call for the wisest and tenderest guidance and encouragement, put darkness for light, evil for good, and bitter for sweet."[e] [e] wm. acton, m. r. c. s. i declare emphatically that no symptoms of sexual suffering, no matter how feelingly described or cunningly insinuated, should ever lead a physician to prescribe for a young man that fatal remedy, illicit intercourse. medically as a physician, morally as a christian, and sympathizingly as a fellow being, i record a solemn protest against such false treatment. it is better for a youth to live a continent life. the strictly chaste suffer comparatively little sexual irritability; but the incontinent, at recurring periods are sure to be troubled in one or other of the ways spoken of; and the remedy of indulgence, if effective, requires repetition as often as the inconvenience returns. no! when thus consulted, let the physician prescribe the proper medicament, if one be necessary; and let him direct a plain, nourishing, non-stimulating diet, physical exertion of any kind carried to exhaustion, and self control. would any young man in his senses listen to a physician, who, for lowness of spirits, mental despondency, &c., should tell him to drink plentifully of brandy or eat hasheesh? on the same principle then let a youth shun the physician, who, for sexual excitement, prescribes sexual indulgence. again, such complaints coming from young men are very often specious, and are mere subterfuges--overdrawn pictures of their sufferings--which are presented as an excuse for indulging the sensual emotions, instead of manfully and righteously struggling to overcome them. and further, "if anyone wishes to really experience the acutest sexual suffering, he can adopt no more certain method than to be incontinent with the intention of becoming continent again, when he has 'sown his wild oats.' the agony of breaking off a habit which so rapidly entwines itself with every fibre of the human frame (as sexual indulgence) is such that it would not be too much to say in the wise man's words, '_none_ that go to her return again, neither take they hold on the paths of life.'" "the sin, of all, most sure to blight-- the sin, of all, that the soul's light is soonest lost, extinguished in." remember then that sexual suffering comes to the _incontinent_ man, and that it is far easier, even for the fully developed vigorous adult, to continue in control of these feelings, than when they have been once excited and indulged. one single impure connection may entail a whole life of syphilitic suffering on the unhappy transgressor. would this "pay?" no inducement could persuade me to assume the awful responsibilities of advising illicit intercourse. apart from christian principle, i know that there is no necessity, physiological, pathological or any other, that can excuse any physician for saying that the seventh commandment may ever be broken. my sentiments on the physiological side of the question are so admirably expressed by acton,[f] that i will here quote from him. [f] fourth american edition, p.  . "one argument in favor of incontinence deserves special notice, as it purports to be founded on physiology. i have been consulted by persons who feared, or professed to fear, that if the organs were not exercised regularly, they would become atrophied, or that in some way impotence might be the result of chastity. this is the assigned reason for committing fornication. there exists _no greater_ error than this, or one more opposed to physiological truth. in the first place, i may state that i have, after many years' experience, never seen a single instance of atrophy of the generative organs from this cause. i have, it is true, met with the complaint--but in what class of cases does it occur? it arises in all instances from the exactly opposite cause--abuse: the organs become worn out, and hence arises atrophy. physiologically considered, it is not a fact that the power of secreting semen is annihilated in well-formed adults leading a healthy life and yet remaining continent. the function goes on in the organ always, from puberty to old age. semen is secreted sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and very frequently under the influence of the will. no continent man need be deterred by this apocryphal fear of atrophy of the testes from living a chaste life. it is a device of the unchaste--a lame excuse for their own incontinence, unfounded on any physiological law. the testes will take care that their action is not interfered with." many and many a time have i heard it regretted and bemoaned, on account of the many troubles they had seemed to cause, that the sexual organs exist. it is the lewd thoughts and uses to which they are put that causes all this misery, and there is always that "first thought" which should not be harbored. cast away the impure thoughts, rise above them, and one is safe! pure thoughts can _never_ lead to harm. the generative organs, with their functions and uses, are most closely interwoven with the highest destiny and well being of the race physically, mentally and spiritually; they are a part of us, without which there would be no men and women, lovers and loved ones, fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters. we must then happily accept the situation as it is, and our bodies, parts and passions as they are; for they are all indispensable, high and holy, when kept in an orderly and chaste condition. we only need the above knowledge and its application to make ourselves as happy in the enjoyment of these organs as it was designed by our creator that we should be. to rise above the sexual temptations that may be more or less experienced by many and perhaps by all, requires an effort of course, and frequently a very great effort; but let it be borne in mind that all temptations to do wrong, require effort to overcome them; and as a rule, the greater the evil we are tempted to commit the greater is the effort needed to overcome it. now, as shown above, since sexual matters are so thoroughly interwoven with the highest destinies of the human race, physically, mentally and spiritually, there is scarcely any function of higher import, allotted to any individual, than that assigned to the genital organs. no function more deeply concerns the healthfulness of the body, the clearness and brilliancy of the intellect, or the purity and sincerity of the soul itself. several times in the course of this book i have referred to the term "abuse." by "abuse," i mean precisely what _lallemand_ so forcibly expresses as follows: "_i understand by the term abuse, when applied to the organs of generation, any irregular or premature exercise of their functions; any application of them which cannot have, as its result, the propagation of the species._" look at the habitual masturbator! see how thin, pale and haggard he appears; how his eyes are sunken; how long and cadaverous is his cast of countenance; how irritable he is and how sluggish, mentally and physically; how afraid he is to meet the eye of his fellows; feel his damp and chilling hand, so characteristic of great vital exhaustion. taken as a class, how terrible are their lost virility, their miserable night's sleep, their convulsions and their shrunken limbs. they keep by themselves, seeking charm in solitude and are fit companions for no one; they dare not read their bible, they cannot commune with good angels nor with the lord, our saviour. is not this picture deplorable? it is at the last end of the chain i admit, but it is reached link after link, one at a time; and the first link was forged when the first temptation in the mind was first favored and finally yielded to. the above picture is a true one and shows how intimately connected are the soul, the mind and the body with this whole subject. man in a healthy state need not and should not lose one drop of seminal fluid by his own hand, by nightly emissions or pollutions, or in any way, until he becomes conjoined to a wife of his choice in the holy bonds of matrimony. every time the seed of his body is lost in a disorderly or unnatural way, he injures the finest textures of his brain correspondingly, as well as the finest and most exalted condition of his mind and soul, because the act proceeds in its incipiency from a willful prostitution of these higher powers. when sexual thoughts and temptations arise in one's mind, even very young men are capable of putting them away, urged by the thought that tampering with one's generative organs is wrong. he should intuitively feel that it is something akin to theft, or a crime of some worse sort, for him to indulge in solitary vice and he should intuitively feel an inward reproach for all such meditations. when one is sorely tempted in these matters, as is often the case, let him reflect that he was not created to indulge in such pleasures by himself, and that to do so is a crime, a sin against the god of heaven; that it is his destiny, his privilege and one of the uses of his life to share such enjoyments with the wife of his bosom; and that all excitement or dallying with this part of his nature before marriage only serves to weaken his sexual powers, as well as his mind and body; also, that it mars his sexual uses and will detract from his sexual pleasures in the married life. sexual indulgence of any sort in a young man is a loss, not only to himself but also, prospectively, to that dear girl whom he will some day make his wife. such reflections will often drive away the temptation entirely. if they are not sufficient to do so let him read some interesting book that shall take his mind away from the subject; or, that failing, let him take exercise, vigorous exercise--pushed to fatigue, if necessary. if these states of temptation occur in bed at night, let him rise and read, plunge his arm into very cold water, or if necessary go forth into the open air and seek relief in a rapid walk. it is better to go to any amount of trouble and to endure any physical discomfort, than to sacrifice one's chastity, the loss of which can never be replaced. a young man naturally desires and expects chastity of the strictest order in the young woman of his choice for a wife. who would marry a girl, no matter how beautiful or how many and varied her accomplishments if it were known that she had granted her favors to any other man? and yet, what less has _she_ a perfect right to require from a young man who presumes to pay his addresses to her? this consideration, too, should serve as a restraint to any amorous desires that might infest a man's mind. it is wonderful how keen are the perceptions of a pure minded young lady to detect even an approach to licentiousness in the male. he is abhorrent to her and his very sphere betrays him. with the facts of the preceding pages, contained in this chapter being known, it does seem as if every man would keep himself pure from all carnal associations and use the utmost care not to prostitute his mind, that he may approach the nuptial altar as pure in mind and body as he would have her who is to become the idol of his heart. now this is all very beautiful in theory and desirable in practice, but _is it practical_? can man so school himself in self denial as to accomplish this end? are there not real physiological facts existing which utterly preclude the possibility of this most desirable result? do not, as has been alleged by some writers, the testicles of man secrete semen until they become so surcharged that emission becomes absolutely necessary, and does not this accumulation actually produce such sexual excitement that man feels compelled to seek relief in some way? i answer, most unhesitatingly, no! the above questions are all theories and utterly devoid of fact. would almighty god command, "thou shalt _not_ commit adultery," and then so create man as to compel him to break his divine injunction? abundance of proof is at hand to substantiate this sweeping remark of mine, were this the place to produce it. seminal fluid is abundantly secreted and produced only during the height of sexual excitement in the male. as acton remarks: "it is a highly organized fluid requiring the expenditure of much vital force in its elaboration and its expulsion." it is secreted from the blood of his body and the whole man physically, mentally and spiritually is concerned and represented in its product; consequently the action requires an effort of the whole man, and, if often repeated, the effect is very exhausting to the physical powers, to the mind and to the brain. let this be another warning to remain in purity of heart. we have said in the preceding pages that man, in a healthy state, need not lose a drop of seminal fluid until after marriage. there are many abnormal causes resulting in what are called wet dreams, nightly pollutions, spermatorrhoea, prostatic emission during stool or urination, also diurnal emissions without erection. these may result from over study, from errors in diet such as use of coffee, highly seasoned food, wines, spirituous liquors or drugs of various kinds--though perhaps prescribed by a physician. when these troubles arise from constitutional disorders, a skillful physician must be consulted at once. errors in diet and the taking of drugs causing this trouble must of course be discontinued. [g]"certain medicines--as astringents, purgatives, narcotics, stimulants and diuretics especially--may bring on conditions from which spermatorrhoea may arise." among other causes lallemand refers to the use of quinine, tobacco and, particularly _alcohol_. the trouble may also arise from injuries and many other accidental causes, besides masturbation and venereal excesses. [g] lallemand and wilson, page  . it is distressing to see what a complete wreck seminal losses make of those who were once robust and healthy young men, and what a shock they give to the nervous system. they become weak, pale, and feeble in mind, while all that was manly and vigorous has gone out of them. now which of the two is preferable--the pride of a virtuous youth, or the roué exhausted and worn out by sexual abuses? it demands great strength to become either, but really a much greater effort for the latter; because it requires very great perseverance for a chaste and pure minded man to debase himself by such practices. it depends on the mind which is all right before yielding the first point; therefore beware and shun the first step downward. strengthen the moral courage and exercise the will power so as always to be able to say, "no," to whatever temptation the conscience tells you is wrong. chapter v. adolescence of the female. adolescence of the female embraces the period of life from the age of twelve or fourteen, to twenty-one years. at about the twelfth or fourteenth year of the girl's life a marked change comes over her form, features and mental state. unlike the male, the forms which in him are angular, become in her rounded, symmetrical and beautiful, and the characteristic feminine proportions are well marked; she becomes more graceful in her movements, her voice grows sweeter, more mellow, more powerful and capable of registering a higher tone. new feelings and desires are awakened in her mind. her deportment becomes more commanding and less frivolous, and the girl is lost in the woman. if she has been so fortunate as to have escaped all the dangers and baneful influences of infantile and childhood life, she is womanly indeed, and we behold her with an unburdened conscience, clear intellect, artless and candid address, good memory, buoyant spirits, a complexion bright, clear and, as the poet declares, "beautiful exceedingly." every function of her body is well performed, and no fatigue is experienced after moderate exertion. she evinces that elasticity of spirit and gracefulness of body, and happy control of her feelings which indicate healthfulness of both mind and body. her whole time is given up to her studies, duties and amusements; and as she feels her stature increase and her intellect enlarge, she gladly prepares for her coming struggle with the world--though in a manner becoming to her sex. this, too, is no fanciful sketch, but is realized in thousands of cases every year. it is one which parents feel proud to witness in a daughter, and one in which the daughter takes a modest delight. we have said that every function of her body is well performed. the functions of the female body, which in a state of health are perfectly free from pain, are very numerous and, in the four years from fourteen to eighteen, she accomplishes an amount of physiological cell change and growth which nature does not require of a boy in less than twice that number of years. it is obvious, therefore, that a girl upon whom nature, for a limited period and for a definite purpose, imposes so great a physiological task, will not have as much power left for the tasks of school as a boy, of whom nature requires less at the corresponding epoch. the functions of circulation, respiration, digestion, perspiration, nutrition and menstruation, though involuntary, are all important, dependent one upon another, and all develop at the proper time. puberty is the proper time for the appearance of menstruation, one of the most important and sacred of her functions. it should not be feared, dreaded or regarded as a nuisance; it forms a part of herself; and she never commands the respect and forbearance of her friends, or even of her enemies, more than when it is known that she is "unwell." it serves in many ways as a blessing to her, rather than an inconvenience. let no young girl be alarmed, as, owing to the negligence of her parents or guardians, many are, at the first appearance of this flow of blood from the genital organs. she should keep more quiet than usual, at these times, until the flow disappears, which it will do in a few days. in a state of health these appearances occur every twenty-eight days and the young lady should exercise extreme caution at such times, in avoiding unnecessary fatigue, exposure to cold, getting wet, suddenly cooling off when heated, etc. one of the reasons why so many suffer at this time is due to the want of proper knowledge and care, also for the want of a proper feeling about the matter. i have known young ladies to be guilty of the almost incredible crime of trying to arrest the flow by plugging up the vagina and by resorting to other means, that they might attend a dancing party or some pleasure excursion. such a procedure is sure to be followed by the direst retribution to the offender. nature never allows her laws to be so trifled with. some experience a deep mortification on account of this function; some think it a very great inconvenience and a nuisance--an obstacle to their pleasure; others feel unhappy and vexed about it. in truth, every woman should consider it a privilege and should regard menstruation as it really is, a blessing from heaven; and, when rightly performed, a help to lend loveliness to her character, beauty to her expression, music to her voice, and gracefulness to her form and movements. mothers or guardians should instruct young girls in good time as to the expected menstrual function and prepare their minds for its advent. they should also be carefully instructed in regard to the external use of water--of its attendant danger, lest they chill themselves sufficiently to arrest this flow, which should continue uninterruptedly until the function is complete. too many lives have been sacrificed by suppressing the monthly flux; external ablutions should be plentiful, but only sufficient, as in the case of boys, for cleanliness. if menstruation should not become healthfully established at the proper time of age, consult a judicious physician who will see that any abnormal condition, preventing such consummation, is properly removed. "the principal organs of elimination, common to both sexes, are the bowels, kidneys, lungs and skin. a neglect of their functions is punished in each alike. to woman is intrusted the exclusive management of another process of elimination, viz.: the catamenial function. this, using the blood for its channel of operation, performs, like the blood, double duty. it is necessary to ovulation, and to the integrity of every part of the reproductive apparatus; it also serves as a means of elimination for the blood itself. a careless management of this function, at any period of life during its existence, is apt to be followed by consequences that may be serious; but a neglect of it during the epoch of development, that is, from the age of fourteen to eighteen or twenty, not only produces great evil at the time of the neglect, but leaves a large legacy of evil to the future. the system is then peculiarly susceptible; and disturbances of the delicate mechanism we are considering, induced during the catamenial weeks of that critical age by constrained positions, muscular effort, brain work, and all forms of mental and physical excitement, germinate a host of ills."[h] [h] clarke: "sex in education." here i must be allowed to protest most solemnly against the use of injections into the vagina for the so-called purpose of cleanliness. vaginal syringes are constructed and used now by thousands and the sufferings of the human race are increased thereby ten thousand fold proportionately. the vagina, like all organs supplied with a mucous membrane, is self-cleansing. water, or any other fluid thrown into this organ, has a tendency to disorder the mucous follicles, to dry up their secretions and thus prevent the efflux of some of nature's necessities. from this cause alone there will be a reaction upon the vaginal walls, upon the neck of the uterus and the uterus itself; the ovaries also become disordered; the lungs sympathize as well as the throat and bronchial tubes, producing hoarseness, hacking cough and a host of troubles following in their train. nervous headaches of fearful intensity are frequently produced from this unnatural course of procedure. moreover, water thrown into the vagina, to wash it out, day after day for a considerable time, absolutely produces a leucorrhoea most persistent in character. this is the confession of young ladies to me in making inquiry as to the origin of their trouble, and i have found that the discharge was unknown to some of them till after the use of these injections. it stands to reason that such unnatural washings should be followed by a retribution equal to the error committed, because, as before stated, nature's laws cannot be perverted without a penalty. a girl should never, under any pretext whatever, resort to such unhallowed means for the cure or alleviation of leucorrhoea, ulceration, or for any disorders that affect these parts. by so doing she is really forming a basis for innumerable future ills. if the girl is well, she has none of these disorders, for they all arise from constitutional derangements. as all must acknowledge, it is a self-evident fact--that, _if a woman is well, every part of her must be well also_; no one organ can, unaided, get up a disease by itself. in all troubles of this nature, as well as of any other, consult a judicious physician. there are objections, however, of even a graver nature than those urged above against the use of such instruments. they often excite sensations in the parts to which they are applied, that should remain perfectly dormant in the unmarried state. after awhile these sensations, increasing in frequency and influence, serve to prostitute the mind and the young lady may become ruined for life. i am stating facts that can be proved by multitudes of living witnesses to-day in cases and confessions that have come under my own observation. on remonstrating against this habit, some remark, "but it feels so nice, doctor!" of course, ablutions of the _external_ organs are perfectly right and proper and should be resorted to daily. to the reflecting mind no more need be said about this matter. those who wish to live in harmony with the order of their creation and thereby preserve the freshness of health, will not have recourse to such means as add new derangements to the system. to preserve feminine charms as the girl develops into womanhood, much depends upon her mental state. she must not allow herself to bear malice towards anyone, must not plot evil or attempt to "pay off others in their own coin," as it is called, or seek revenge in any way; but she must ever cultivate a forgiving disposition, good thoughts and good feelings towards everyone. there is always danger of meeting both rude and lewd girls, and that too in places where least expected; they may be found in schools of all kinds and are occasionally met with in the houses of one's own friends. not very long since a charming young lady wrote me from a neighboring city, that while sharing a bed with another girl, she experienced a very strange sensation induced by the improper liberties of her bed-fellow; and so persistent were these troublesome sensations, although occupying a bed by herself ever after, she thought it proper to seek my advice. now this was a good and pure-minded girl who might easily have been ruined but for her inherent love of chastity; and so our daughters are always in danger of being contaminated. a perfectly pure and chaste mind, unsullied by impure thoughts or acts, and cultivated by the exercise of all the christian virtues, lends enchantment to the eye, sweetness of expression to the face, music to the voice, and gracefulness of carriage. cultivation of merely external manners will not do; they must spring from the mind and thence they shine throughout the whole, in every fibre and movement of the body. such an one is truly beloved wherever she goes; she has a real affection for her father and mother, brothers and sisters; and she is fully prepared to appreciate and love one of the opposite sex whose purity of life and nobleness of mind fully corresponds to her own. to retain this charm of excellence will cost her many a trial and her temptations will be innumerable and very great. but her perceptive faculties are keen, and at the first suspicion of anything wrong she must have the moral courage to say: "no! that is not allowable, it is not right," or, "this is impure and its tendency is to vice." whatever the temptation may be, in thought or in deed, let no one persuade her into wrong-doing--not even her _apparently_ best friend; for it would only be an appearance of friendship if he tempted to anything of a vicious nature. she will be beset with hosts of admirers, some of them pure and having honorable intentions; but (i am sorry to sound the note of warning here,) others will come with the most dishonorable intentions possible, though with an air of sincerity, and apparently as artless as doves. study all men long and carefully, keeping them meanwhile at a respectful distance; never allow one to sit near with his arm about your waist or to hold your hand in his; never allow him to kiss you--_the vilest of loathsome diseases may be communicated by a kiss_ viz.: _syphilis_. do not allow any approach or touch beyond what is customary in the best of society at a social gathering. many a young lady with an angelic form and spotless soul within, full of the best intentions and of the purest character, giving bright promise of a brilliant future, has been ruined for life by trusting herself alone with some of these apparently wise and good, yet really vile men. young women have not, as a rule, any sexual propensity, or amorous thoughts or feelings. if they have been properly educated and cared for, they are, before marriage, perfect strangers to any such sensations; and yet any young lady who falls, does so by her own hand and she has no one else to blame for it. _remember_ that the lord, in the beginning, never suffers temptations beyond one's strength to overcome. if she falls ultimately, it results from allowing an impure seed to be planted in the mind at first, which she then nourishes for a time and only in the end it bears its fruit. as time passes, a young lady forms an acquaintance with gentlemen, and at length she favors the addresses of one who is particularly agreeable to her. after this acquaintance has ripened into love, and she has become convinced of the purity of his heart, she enjoys being with him, in sitting by his side, and is unhappy in his absence. when betrothed, owing to her great and pure love for him, she takes pleasure in receiving such marks of affection from him as are shown by a tender father or brother, but nothing more. after marriage, she feels that she is really his and that he has become a part of herself--that they are no more twain but are one flesh. all this has transpired without her hardly suspecting such a quality in herself as an amorous affection. still she more than ever loves him, more than ever desires to be near him until finally their union is fully and truly consummated by the marriage act. at no time in her life does a woman make a greater sacrifice of her feelings than at this time, and she does it solely for her pure and fervent love for him. this is right and proper, and is in accordance with the laws of order in the creation of the two sexes in the human, animal and vegetable kingdoms throughout the world. i wish here to have some "plain talk," that the true object of this book may be more fully understood and its mission more successfully accomplished. unless willing to make the above sacrifice, no woman should ever marry; because she would not then be fulfilling the marriage covenant. besides, she would be false to her husband and this falsity might cause his moral and physical destruction; his health would suffer and his manhood become dethroned, because her conduct would utterly controvert the immutable laws of nature. nature's laws cannot possibly be set aside without the infliction of a severe penalty. the healthy young woman will have no difficulty in preserving her chastity intact, so long as she cultivates that purity of mind to which she is naturally prone. she should never allow herself to read immoral stories or books having in the slightest degree even, such a tendency; theatrical plays with loose morals should also be avoided, and light, silly novels are very pernicious to the imaginative mind of the young. on the other hand useful reading stores the mind with high and noble thoughts, whence spring good and useful deeds. unfortunately there are a variety of morbid conditions to which the female is liable, so that sexual desires arise in spite of every effort to keep aloof from them--even though there is not the slightest guilt in mental or bodily transgression. these are owing to disordered conditions of the sexual system, just as other disorderly desires arise, and are often _inherited_--remember this all parents!--or they may be caused by some morbific influences, as are other diseased conditions of the body. many a time have i had pure-minded young ladies apply to me for medical aid in these matters, confessing that they had impure thoughts which they knew were wrong, but of which they could not rid themselves. in such cases there are physical symptoms of some kind that incite these thoughts and feelings. the proper medical and hygienic treatment always restores order in such functional derangements and the sexual disturbances of the mind disappear. i have repeatedly cured nymphomania by curing physical, or constitutional symptoms. in one case which came under my care, nymphomania appeared in a married woman in the seventh month of her pregnancy, and so fearfully did her mania rage that it threw her into convulsions. her physical and sensational symptoms led me to the choice of the medicine that cured her, so that she was happily delivered of a fine, healthy child at full term and no trace of the disease has ever appeared since. too often young women err and give way to such feelings in resorting to _self-abuse_ for relief, or to the caresses of the opposite sex, when they are ruined forever. it is never safe to temporize or to tamper in this way with such sensations. women have heads and brains, as well as men, and rational faculties, too. every digression allowed, only paves the way for others, with less and less resistance, and more and more ruinous results. let a judicious physician be consulted at once in all cases where a morbid condition seems to excite immoral thoughts and sensations. the effects of self-abuse upon woman, is as disastrous as masturbation upon males. a few hours after its commission, or the next day at furthest, she feels languid and dragged out, sleepy, unfit for reading anything solid, or studying, and unfit for social enjoyment with others; she looks pale and haggard; often she feels giddy, particularly when rising in the morning, with many other discomforts too numerous to mention here. and is it true that some young ladies, the sweetest and fairest of our race, play with one another in an immodest and indecent way, teaching immorality to the pure and innocent? i fear it is, i _know_ it is. such things need not, must not, and will not be tolerated. this little book will go about in all classes of society confirming and strengthening the pure in heart in their purity and enlightening the ignorant who will joyfully hail the good news; all will join hands in one popular cry against indecencies and indulgences of an impure nature; and the vilest man even will be taught to fear and respect the combined world of chaste female influence. so it must be and eventually will be; but woman, naturally pure and lovely woman! the greatest part of this work must be done by you. chapter vi. marriage. the husband. "and jehovah god said, it is not good that the man should be alone; i will make him a help meet for him. * * * * and jehovah god brought the woman unto the man. and the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."--gen. ii. , - . "the marriage of one man with one woman is therefore designed in our very creation by him who made us. the love which brings them together and binds them together, flows into their minds from the divine love, from the love which has operated hitherto, and which now operates, in creating and forming a heaven of human beings." all young men, on arriving at the age of twenty-five, other circumstances being favorable, should conform to the laws of divine order and marry. "whom shall we marry? young ladies now-a-days require such an outfit and it costs so much to support a wife in the style she wishes to live, or has been accustomed to, that, to say nothing of the extra expense of children, we cannot afford to marry." this is a wrong view to take, because pomp, style and show _are not the true objects of marriage_! the married state is a duty and a great privilege, while its uses are of the highest possible order physically, mentally and spiritually. the love which brings the two together and which should bind them together, requires only a comfortable home of respectable appearance. young married people should begin like young married people; it is more orderly and more conducive to the welfare and true happiness of each that, as time passes on, they build up their fortunes together, each helping the other--thus affording new charms that no other course will or can yield. in the choice of a wife, a man should especially seek _congeniality_. he should make the acquaintance of a young lady living and moving in the same sphere of life as his own, such as is congenial to his tastes; he should see her in company with other young people and observe how she treats them; and particularly notice how she acts towards her father and mother, brothers and sisters: for a good daughter and sister always makes a good wife. study closely her character, her mental discipline, her tastes in reading and her mode of life generally. above all, note her disposition as to selfishness, whether she be determined and bent upon having her own way in everything, or whether she is yielding and thoughtful of the comfort and happiness of her associates. remember that in the married state there must be a mutual yielding to each other, though not the sinking of the wife's identity, so that the combined life of the two may become one harmonious whole. observe what she thinks of children and get her opinion as to how they should be brought up and educated. be sure that she is one who can be loved most tenderly, one for whom a man can make any sacrifice in reason for her sake--for whom one can deny himself any comfort, any and every passion, brave any danger, and conquer every difficulty in his power, to make her life happy and useful. one quality: is she strictly virtuous? is she chastity itself in thought, word and deed? if you, young man, have been the same, if you have held yourself in by "bit and bridle," as it were,--then, if she reciprocates your love, you are at liberty to propose marriage to her. before marriage, a young man takes great pains to make himself attractive, is very attentive and polite, keeps up a genteel appearance and is civility itself, that he may woo and win the young lady most nearly approaching his ideal of feminine perfection, and the one most nearly suited to his tastes and congeniality. after marriage he feels that she is his, that she has pledged herself to this effect; and the law has so decided; she is his, as he is hers, irrevocably. now, young man, do you mean to be loyal, to be her real husband until death dissolves the allegiance? then let nothing cool your ardor. be as watchful as when you were her wooer and even more so. let nothing induce you to swerve from your duty, to violate your vow or to betray your trust. but ever be faithful and true. so may you be accounted worthy of her choice as a husband and worthy to be enrolled among the respected and honored fathers in our land. heavier responsibilities rest upon you now than before marriage. your wife must be protected, supported and cared for in every possible way, and you need to be even more careful to retain her love than you were to win it. you are under heavy responsibilities to your relatives and the community in which you live, that your united lives bear such fruit as will be to all a delight. together, in your unity, you form as it were a tree; your united lives throw out branches and leaves, buds and blossoms, and finally fruit in its season; and every tree is known by its fruit. bearing in mind the high duties to which as a husband and a father you are called, seek not to live for carnal pleasures. you have struggled manfully with yourself and the world and have come up to this stage of your life pure and uncontaminated; and that love which brought you two together, now flows into your united lives from the divine love. let that love continually operate through you unitedly in creating new human beings who shall ultimately serve to swell the grand army of the angelic hosts in heaven. some well-meaning and otherwise apparently good husbands, but not true, form habits of staying from their homes during their leisure hours, particularly in the evenings. they visit club houses, billiard rooms or other places of amusement, leaving their wives at home. such absences distress a wife greatly, though her love often restrains any expression of disapproval. these habits increase, she suffers more and more, loses sleep on his account and her health fails. the husband's dissipations grow upon him--all such desertions are dissipations when they become habitual--until he loses all relish for the company of his faithful wife and for the caresses of his young and lovely children, until finally to stay at home a single evening is a restraint and unhappiness to him. where now is the plighted faith! where now is the tree, its branches and leaves with their buds and blossoms, and what is the fruit? where now is that pure love which he promised when they became united and which should forever bind them together, and who has almost severed that love? has not the little that remains become merely carnal, on his part at least? where is that union of mind and communion of soul that lifts one above sensualism; and without which, sensualism is the only link and quality left to keep the two together, until death dissolves the union? chapter vii. marriage [continued]. the wife. young ladies, why do you marry? through infancy, childhood and adolescence you have been watched over most tenderly and cared for most lovingly; you have been protected and educated, and have been made as happy under the paternal roof as circumstances would allow; and this very book has been written largely on _your_ account. it has been the custom from time immemorial, as it always will be, for girls to complete their education and then to marry. but alas! how very few seem to realize what married life really is and what will be expected in it; what its duties and responsibilities are, or even what leads to marriage. but to the question why do you even think of getting married? the answer is, "because it is inherent in the mind of every true female character. it was ordained of god in her creation, spiritually, mentally, and physically--from her inmost being to her complete ultimation. it was in the very design of her creation that she should love and be loved, that she should be sought after by the male sex, and that she should become a wife and mother." first, let us understand what "marriage" signifies. the word itself has the same meaning as the latin word _conjugium_ and represents a conjunction or union together. carried out to its higher or more interior meaning, marriage signifies the joining of good and truth--the "good" being represented by the woman and "truth" being represented by the man. hence it denotes the spiritual conjunction of minds, and thence of bodies, in contradistinction to the merely natural conjunction or joining together of bodies only. so, to secure a real marriage, there must be a spiritual conjunction of minds; and the conjunction of bodies in wedlock is simply the ultimation, or manifestation of spiritual principles in marriage. the true reason why girls marry is because they have an innate principle of love for the male sex; and this love is drawn from the lord above. consequently, it is pure, chaste, and when fully developed, very powerful. in connection with this principle comes the desire to be sought after and loved by a man of congenial character for whose dear sake a woman is induced to leave father and mother, brothers and sisters, to become the wife of him whom she can claim as her own dear husband. this heaven-born principle is what leads and induces the female to assent to the marriage relation. for her own sake, for his sake as well as for the sake of all parties concerned, this step should be taken very carefully and only after mature consideration. once married, there is no escape from its lifelong duties and responsibilities. she must yield to him whatever the marriage vow allows, that she may become a _wife_ in the fullest sense of the term. marriage is a sacred relation, instituted by god himself, and the sexual approach which follows between husband and wife, is a special avowal of their relation to each other; and so often as it is repeated it is a renewal of their obligations to be faithful to each other. all sexuality is in the order of creation and, coming from the lord, serves for high and holy purposes. it was _never_ intended for mere carnal pleasure; as such, it is the profanation and perversion of a great boon to the human race. the man or woman who perverts it must and will, sooner or later, suffer a penalty equal to the transgression. the husband rightfully expects to find in his wife, as a seal of the marriage covenant, his greatest possible delight. it should be her greatest delight to give him that pleasure; and if she loves her husband according to her avowal, she will not fail to do this. the feeling, each of the other's nearness--in thought, word and act, as though each one were intertwined with the other in the most complete union, is a very great delight; even indescribably great. the sexual act itself is really a type of the perfect harmony in which the married pair should dwell throughout their lives. it teaches a mutual yielding so that the honeymoon, rising so beautifully and lovingly, may continue to wax lighter and brighter and its fullness be attained in this world only at the dissolution, by a natural death, of a union so orderly and happily formed. it is in the very nature of the male to seek his mate; it is an inborn principle for him to do so, and his health, even his life, certainly his moral life, often depends upon an orderly and lawful indulgence of what this inherent principle demands. the greatest longevity and the best health are found among fathers and mothers; thereby proving that orderly and well-regulated sexual intercourse is just as necessary to the married couple as are the functional demands of all other organs of the body. from the foregoing it may be plainly inferred, that, if the wife of a chaste young man who has duly guarded himself from his childhood up, until he has sought and wedded his mate, fails to reciprocate cheerfully and pleasantly in the seal of connubial affection, she proves a bitter disappointment to him. not that he is carnal, gross or beastly, no! the principle given him by his creator and residing in his pure and inmost soul has been violated by her in whom he placed his life's confidence; she has proved _false_ to him in this particular, one upon which their present and eternal welfare so largely depends. young ladies about to marry should be taught to understand this matter most fully, in all its bearings. if they pervert marriage in false practices, the love of god, conjugal love, and the love of infants, the three holiest and noblest inspirations of life, perish together. no woman then should ever marry without a full knowledge of her duties to her husband, particularly in the sexual respect; for without granting this privilege to her husband in full and free accord, there _cannot_ be maintained a happy married life. _the duties of marriage_, as a topic, embrace a vast field of thought; and there is _so much_ to say thereon, so much advice to tender, so many absolute commands to enjoin, so many warnings to utter, that it is with difficulty i restrain myself from launching out diffusely in an attempt to give the most important of these. but to so specifically particularize is not the purpose of this book. enough is said herein, i trust, to set the reflective mind to thinking seriously on these matters and thereby to awaken the conscience to a full sense of its duties. quite too many cases have come under my observation where the marriage vow has never been consummated or, if consummated at all, in a very begrudging manner, owing to the insubordination of the wife. consequently dissatisfaction, unhappiness and frequently a permanent separation follows, bringing disgrace upon the family and scandal to their circle of friends. this is not only wrong, but it is a most unpardonable vice. sexuality has been ordained by god in his wisdom as the means of creation. it exists throughout all nature, in every tree, plant and shrub, in every animal and insect; in every bird that flies, in every fish that swims, in every man and woman. the very best and purest of husbands and wives, all the world over, indulge in sexuality to their united satisfaction, in full acknowledgment that it is of god and from god. every wife who is unreasonable or derelict in this _duty_ is untrue to her husband and commits a sin against the god of heaven and earth. since, then, sexuality is so evidently of divine appointment, it should be committed entirely to him in its effects.[i] [i] see "in health." by dr. a. j. ingersoll, corning, n. y. if at any time the act prove fruitful and a child be born, it should be considered as a great blessing and gift from god himself. what is more beautiful than to see a married couple engaged in rearing a new human being destined to become an angel in heaven! for this indeed is the prime object of sexuality and of the marriage covenant. as has been well said, life on earth is heaven's seminary. and yet, so many wives, to their shame be it said, use preventives to conception, thus attempting to controvert the order of nature and nature's god; this is one of the greatest crimes of the present age and vengeance will surely be taken on every transgressor in this sacred matter. such practice is secret vice which little by little wears upon the inmost vital principle until the perpetrators of such wrongs suffer untold misery in their physical nature--often not even suspecting the cause of such sufferings. "but there is yet another reason, and a very strong moral one, why the wife should not remain childless. there can be no question that the blood of the father mingles with that of the mother through the medium of the child _in utero_. (hence the transmission of blood-diseases from husband to wife.) hence the indelible impressions made upon a wife by the father of her offspring--impressions, both mental and physical, which by character or resemblance she often transmits to her children by a second husband. now, * * * * may not this account for the similarity of character and identity of tastes, and, indeed, for that wonderful personal resemblance, which sometimes develops between husband and wife? and does not this requisite alone fulfil the divine interpretation of marriage, that 'they are no more twain but one flesh?'"[j] [j] wm. goodell, m. d., "lessons in gynecology," p.  . after marriage a new order of life is entered upon by the wife, and her family matters should subordinate all other schemes and projects of her future existence. her main thought and study should now be, "how can i best fulfil these new duties and responsibilities? first, my dear husband! how can i be a true help-meet to him? here we two are to be one, a new _punctum saliens_, and every act of ours will bear the image of our united lives. no matter what may happen, i will be true to my matrimonial vow and to my god; for i am in his hands and my dear husband's." a married life begun in this way, with such resolutions sincerely and studiously kept, will secure a life full of happiness and privileges beyond the fondest hope and expectation. when pregnancy occurs, just as soon as the fact be suspected, the little embryo should be regarded as already a member of the family. every act of each parent should now be performed in some degree with reference to the forth-coming infant. the mother's thoughts particularly should be directed to it as much as possible whilst performing the uses of life. she should read much that is elevating and ennobling in character as this serves a good purpose in producing a more perfect, more healthy and more brilliant child. let her read such books as "elements of character" by miss chandler; "growth of the mind" by s. reed; "sex in education" by e. h. clarke, m. d.; also, "wear and tear" by s. weir mitchell, m. d.; and any other books of like character. do not forget that the education of the child begins _in utero_. during gestation the mother should subsist as far as possible upon fruit, vegetables and a farinaceous diet--always plain and without spices. plenty of active exercise is indispensable and the use of a "health lift" will be found most beneficial. when the nine months are completed, under care of a competent physician, the birth of the child will be accomplished with but comparatively little pain, and its attendant dangers and difficulties will be greatly lessened. chapter viii. marriage [concluded]. husband and wife. to preserve the marriage vow inviolate, the same pure love that brought the two together should be cultivated by home uses and home amusements such as readings, games, conversation, etc. if the wife have needle work, let the husband read or talk to her; if he be a literary man, let her presence cheer him on and inspire him to nobler and more refined productions. what was done during courtship that made time pass so rapidly and so pleasantly? was every topic so discussed and used up that nothing is now left for an exchange of views? is carnal pleasure to be the only binding tie? such a life is not very pure and only a poor use can be made of it. topics of interest to a married pair should be innumerable and their pleasures inexhaustible. home is the soil in which the tree is to grow; and the richer the soil, the better for the tree, and the more numerous will be the branches, all of them vigorously developing buds and leaves, blossoms and fruit, which will be most fragrant, beautiful and useful. when amusement outside of home is sought let it be, as far as possible, of a nature that both may enjoy it equally. husband and wife! he, being of larger mould in every particular, in head, chest, and all the vital organs, is the provider, the protector, the guardian of his home; he, the masculine, or representative of the truth, is to lead the way in conducting home or business affairs. she, the feminine, or representative of the good, inclines to the good way continually; and, as married partners, good and truth should be married in them. there cannot be a true evil way nor a good false way; there can only be a true good way and a good true way. so the wife, the good, must conjoin herself to her husband, the truth, in order that every truth may result in good; and the husband, the truth, should seek to be conjoined to the wife, the good, that every good may become true. in this there is much wisdom: if the husband be truly wise he will always be sure that all his projects are tempered with good; while if the wife be truly good, all her doings will be enlightened by truth. as hand in hand they thus go through life's planning and doing, the husband will always be assisted by his good, the wife; and the wife will be led on in good by her truth, the husband. by taking this high and holy ground, there will be experienced pleasure and happiness by the married couple, far transcending all other modes of life in existence. then will each and every organ in the body be seen to have a fitness, a place, and a use which could not possibly be dispensed with, because, each and all these organs have an originating cause in the mental and spiritual parts of mankind, from which they proceed and from which they exist. thus we see how wrong, how frightfully wrong it is to abuse, or pervert the use of, _any_ of these physical organs which are so sacred and so important to the welfare of the human family. "dishonor the body, the temple of the soul, and you dishonor the soul." "if any man defile the temple of god, him will god destroy."--i. cor. : . when married, the battle for one united and harmonious life really begins. the wife's great and supreme love for her husband personally, will allow many privileges which under other circumstances her timidity and chastity would refuse. tenderly and with great consideration should these privileges be accepted. for, contrary to the opinion of many men, there is no sexual passion on the part of the bride that induces her to grant such liberties. then how exquisitely gentle and how forbearing should be the bridegroom's deportment on such occasions! sometimes such a shock is administered to her sensibilities that she does not recover from it for years; and in consequence of this shock, rudely or thoughtlessly administered, she forms a deeply rooted antipathy against the very act which is the bond and seal of a truly happy married life. these sexual unions serve to bring the married pair into a perfectly harmonious relation to each other. and just as tenderly, lovingly and harmoniously should they join in each and all the daily uses of life which they are called upon to perform. the sexual relation is among the most important uses of married life; it vivifies the affections for each other, as nothing else in this world can, and is a powerful reminder of their mutual obligations to one another and to the community in which they live. indulgence, however, should not be too frequent, lest it debilitate the pair and undermine their health. the bridegroom and husband should carefully watch over his bride and wife to see that she is not a sufferer and should govern himself accordingly. it is better that these renewed obligations should be made at stated periods, as man is governed so much by habit. as a rule, once or twice a week, or in some cases once in two weeks, is sufficient; but once a week will suffice in many cases for healthful purposes. during the menstrual flow there should be an entire cessation of the conjugal act. when pregnancy occurs it is in most cases, more healthful and better for the expectant mother to allow intercourse at regular times, very gently, throughout her gestation. the object of marriage is the ultimation of that love which brings the two together and binds them together, in the procreation and rearing of children for heaven. this is the only true aim and sole object about which every earthly desire, interest and plan of the married pair should cluster. _as to the question of child-bearing._ no greater crime in the sight of heaven exists to-day than that of perverting the natural uses of marriage. this is done in a great variety of ways, every one of which is criminal, in whatever form practised; and none will escape the penalty--no, not one. nature's laws are inexorable; every transgression thereof is surely punished, even at the _climacteric period_, if not before. the questions of failing health, of physical inability, or too frequent conceptions are matters for the investigation, advice and decision of an experienced, judicious and upright physician. they should never be taken in hand and judged upon by the parties themselves. and to the objection "can't afford to have children; they cost too much," i have faith enough to reply, "our heavenly father never sends more mouths than he can feed." let each one do his and her duty in life and this cavil falls to the ground like water--which, when spilled, cannot be gathered up. good people everywhere rejoice when they behold a married couple living together in an orderly manner and rearing a large family of children. how often is queen victoria held up as a pattern of excellence in this respect: she accepted and acknowledged prince albert as her husband and gave herself to him as his wife; and so indeed she was in every sense of the term. although a queen, sitting on the pinnacle of power, she did not seek to avoid the pangs, the dangers or inconveniences of child-bearing. by her own personal strength her twelve children were brought forth and her own sensitive fibres and tissues felt the suffering. she nursed, caressed and loved them like a good mother and she was a _royal mother_! other kings and queens have done likewise; other husbands and wives, high in power, wealth and fashion have done and are still doing the same. and how much the less should we, in the humbler walks of life, obey the divine command "be fruitful and multiply." if a husband truly loves his wife and if she truly loves him, they will live for each other and in each other, and they will be one; and they will seek to do right in every particular of their marital relation. to apply to life the truths advanced above and to realize them, will require great effort by the parties in question. this manner of life will not come of itself; it is too good to come without working for. mutual concessions must be made daily, and several times a day; one's own way must frequently be given up, and always when discovered to be a selfish way, because the mutual good is always to be consulted. questions of importance should be discussed freely and dispassionately, and a good reason be established before adopting actions that may not lead to proper results. in the marriage co-partnership the interest in the right and the wrong, the loss and the gain, the lights and the shadows, the pleasures and the pains, should be equally shared; because they concern one just as much as the other, and should be equally enjoyed, and equally borne by both. a start is made with loving hearts and this state of affairs must never be allowed to diminish. the husband should ever be glad to see his wife, and the wife should ever be glad to see her husband. how many husbands never know what reception they will meet with on returning home after their anxious and exhausting business hours are over for the day; it may be a happy or a very unhappy one. how much it consoles, encourages, lifts up, and rests a man to return to his home after the trying scenes of a day busily spent in providing for the support of his family are over, to find his wife affectionate and serene, and all about the house brilliant with contentment. such a wife if she has troubles, and of course she has just as many troubles as the husband, though of a different kind, and wishes to call the attention of her husband to them, will do it at a proper time, when she knows it will annoy him the least, and when he will be able to give her the most assistance. she will never try to annoy him; but endeavoring to be a true help-meet will seek in a proper and loving way to get him to be the same to her. the wife will gain and command the respect of her husband only through kind and loving ways. by her love constantly and judiciously administered she will lead him onward and upward to higher aspirations and better circumstances in life, throughout their days of united existence. a scolding, fretting, worrying and selfish wife has ruined for life many a husband. all the "self-denial" however, as it is called by some, is not on the wife's side; the husband too must be forbearing; he must remember on his way home at night that his faithful wife, who has been at home all day, has had trials and disappointments in her domestic affairs; and he must not be disappointed to find domestic arrangements a little disordered, and his wife somewhat chagrined that, under the circumstances, she really could give him no better a reception than he may experience. he must always try to make the best of it and be satisfied. he must not find fault with the cooking, for instance, but must be perfectly content with everything as it is until his well-managing wife has had time to overcome her difficulties and troubles. never find fault with your wife under any circumstances; let your intellect discover a way to better things if need be. a really wise man will never allow a harsh word to escape his lips to a loving wife, or to his harmless children. by so living together a wise husband and a loving wife will soon discover that they two are but complemental to each other--like the will and understanding of one individual. chapter ix. to the unfortunate. let no one imagine that, because he or she has committed any of the great errors enumerated in former chapters, there is no hopeful future. such a conclusion need not, necessarily, be accepted. in very many cases where there is a _will_ to reform, there is also a _way_; and very often a complete cure and restoration to health may be effected. diseased bones may be made sound; ulcerations healed; sore throats cured; blemishes on the skin removed; urinary difficulties may be dissipated or at least greatly ameliorated; sexual disorders remedied; impaired eyes much improved and defective vision much benefited if not wholly restored; the auditory apparatus helped if not fully cured; and the distracted mind, with its fanciful imageries, rendered tranquil and rational. to accomplish all this the _mind_ must lead the way. the brain must assert its supremacy, and the will-power become absolute. it is only where there is a will, an indomitable will, that a way out of these direful difficulties is afforded. let happen what may, no opposing influences should dampen the determination to press forward to reformation; and then, sooner or later, the conquest will be made. to begin with, when the mind is fully determined to overcome all obstacles or perish in the attempt, consult a judicious physician as advised in the preface of this book. lose no time with quackery in any shape or form. do not be beguiled by those who promise "a speedy cure." speedy cures cannot be made in these cases. strong determination to improve aided by proper medication can, in bad cases, only restore a healthful condition in from two to three years. the system requires to be made over anew as it were. the current of life must be turned into new channels. new thoughts and new blood must be made to take the place of what were wrong and polluted. this will take time and perseverance; and then, little by little the old enemies will be overcome and driven out. but progress for the better must be measured only from month to month and even then there may be apparent relapses. let me however asseverate, from my abundance of experience in these cases, that there is ultimately, after a reasonable time, every hope of becoming sound and healthy again. many young persons are rendered quite distracted by the sexual instinct being too strong. it infests them and goads them on to the commission of further unseemly acts--though suffering much from past transgressions--which it seems almost impossible to avoid. the sensation haunts and clings to them day and night, in spite of every attempt to rise superior thereto. sometimes nocturnal pollutions, or "wet dreams," as they are commonly termed, result from these or other causes. there must be some cause for this state of things and a rigid examination into one's mode of life should ascertain the same. it may come from errors in diet, in eating or drinking; in the use of highly seasoned food; or the taking of some medicinal drug substance. it is well known that many drugs have the power of producing such a condition. should any of the above seem to act as causes, a change should be made at once. the plainest diet and simplest mode of life is always best in sickness or in health. again, one may take too little exercise in the open air. if so, an abundance of physical exertion should be made daily, to insure a natural and healthy condition of all organs of the body. or, uncomfortable conditions may arise, as they often do, from some morbid condition of the vital forces. if diet and exercise are insufficient, the judicious physician should be consulted and every symptom or unnatural sensation from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet, should be carefully described to him. in all probability he will remedy the trouble, thus restoring peace and happiness. the generative organs are as liable to be affected by a morbid state of the vital forces, as are any other organs of the body; and when so affected they are just as amenable to treatment. the above condition of affairs is not, however, confined to the male sex. females often suffer equally and in the same way. many young persons, of both sexes, have fallen victims to these disorders who could have been cured by proper medical treatment. a female suffering from the ill effects of any bad habit contracted in youth, or from any sexual or venereal disorder, should seek medical aid with the same promptness and openness of heart as a male. to overcome the vicious habit of self-abuse is no trifling matter; it will require the persistent application of indomitable will, aided by christianity--by oft repeated appeals to the lord for aid, who lends a willing ear and a helping hand to the poor and needy. when reformation is determined upon, it is better to consult a physician at once and act under his advice. besides directing the proper diet and plenty of vigorous exercise in the open air, he will prescribe the proper medicament. cases of real syphilitic poisoning are most serious affections, and everyone should know of the fearful effects of this poison--how searchingly it infests the whole system, and how it contaminates the blood and every tissue in the body. such cases, therefore, should not be trifled with in any way. advertised nostrums should be particularly avoided. for, if this poison be simply smothered in one's blood instead of being wholly eradicated and cured, it will be sure to seize upon the offspring and either destroy them before birth or during dentition. the bare fear of such contamination should be amply sufficient to deter everyone from exposing him- or herself to the risk. but, having fallen, by all means seek the aid of a judicious physician. an experience of nearly forty years in the treatment of these cases, in both sexes, has given me the power to know whereof i speak; and i do declare that a very large percentage of these cases can be cured in a safe manner; and so perfectly cured too, that there will be no danger of transmitting the infection to the offspring. i, by no means stand alone in this statement; many other physicians, after long years of experience assert the same truth. therefore, let no one be discouraged, no matter how far he, or she, has strayed from the paths of virtue or how much suffering has been entailed thereby. in connection with the physician's help, aid yourself. have courage! let the invincible will lead on unflinchingly--upheld by pure thoughts, and good actions will surely follow. "desire is really dangerous only when it brings voluptuous pictures incessantly before the imagination. it thus holds a thousand conflicts with virtue which it conquers in the end; it installs itself in the bosom of the intelligence of which it becomes the habitual pre-occupation." seek therefore for only pure thoughts. we should at all times exert all the power within us to live correct and blameless lives in every respect, but particularly so in sexual matters. the happiness, the health, and the lives of families and communities are far more largely dependent upon these matters than is commonly supposed. those who have led lives of blameless purity, will continue to do so after reading this book; while those who have gone astray will here find every encouragement to set about their reformation at once. if faithful to the teachings recorded in these pages they will bless the day and the occasion that inspired the writer to put his hand to this work. the god of heaven and earth knows that the motive that led me to this undertaking was pure, and as solely for the good of humanity, as that purity which prompts a human being to live a blameless life in the sight of his maker. chapter x. origin of the sex. from whence does the sex proceed and what determines it? so much has been written about this matter, and so many foolish, low, and really debasing theories and speculations have been advanced in relation thereto, that i deem it expedient at this time, and in this place, to put forth the true theory of the reproduction of the sexes, one that can endure the test of the most rigid scientific investigation. the only theory upon this subject worthy of notice, must be based upon a principle that will hold good and true throughout all animated nature, not only in the animal, but in the vegetable kingdom as well. the earth is the common mother of the vegetable world; seeds of all kinds fall into her and she brings forth male and female plants according to the seeds planted. the _earth_ certainly does not give the sex to plants for they come forth according to the life inherent in the seed; if this life-force be male, the plant must be male; and if the life-force of the seed be female, the product must be a female plant. the earth can possibly bring forth no other sex than that which the life-force of the seed impels. this is true in the animal creation. within the female grows the seed given her by the male, be it male or female, and she can grow none other. in other words the male as is very evident on mature reflection gives the soul or the inmost vital principle, and the female clothes that soul, or gives it a body in which to operate. what else can the male do; what office does he perform, if it is not strictly this: to impart of his life-giving spirit! the mother in clothing this germ of life commingles, intertwines, and insinuates her own spirit, at the same time educating, instructing, and determining its development according to the influence she imparts to it. so the offspring partakes largely of the nature of both its parents. the determination as to whether he begets a male or female depends entirely upon the inmost vital state of the male at the time of giving, although he is unconscious of the fact, so that he can have no choice and no regulation, as some writers most absurdly claim, in the matter of the forth-coming sex. he determines or produces it unconsciously and involuntarily, the mother simply receiving, clothing, and issuing from her body what the father has given her. it must not be forgotten when exploring these deep subjects that man is a spiritual being, clothed with a material body, that his spirit is his inmost, and that what proceeds from him in the generative act has life from his inmost; consequently the life-giving principle of his semen is from his inmost, which constitutes its life-giving power. this inmost from the male, the begetting power, is clothed by his seminal fluid for an all-wise purpose; it is not the gross material, the clothing, that begets, but the living power which this material contains, which fructifies, or becomes conjoined, or commingled with the vital force of the ovule of the mother,[k] so that she can clothe it; and when so conjoined the germ, or seed, is planted in congenial soil. conception has thus really taken place by virtue of this act, and the animal mother proceeds with her reproduction precisely upon the same general principles that mother earth reproduces corn from a single kernel. [k] see guernsey's obstetrics, d edition, on reproduction. it is universally acknowledged that the lord creates, that we owe all to him, that he gives us our children, etc., etc. this is true, and it is also true that he makes use of the parents, through whom he operates to this end. by the constant influx of his divine love and wisdom he gives us life, and by virtue of this constant influx into the father who begets, the mother's conception becomes doubly sacred. she conceives from her husband, and at the same instant the lord by virtue of his divine power breathes into that conception the breath of life, whereby it becomes a living soul. by the light of this truth we see that it is not the parents who give life to their offspring. they only supply the pure material substances which are organized into the human form by the living and life-giving forces which constantly flow in from the lord who is life itself and from whom all life constantly emanates. index. "abuse," self, definition of, adolescence of the female, " characteristics of, in females, " time of, in females, " of the male, " pride of in the male, " of male, changes observable, , " time of, in the male, amorous, females not naturally, , applications, in worm affections, ascarides, bannisters, injurious to slide down, chastity, what is true, " difficulty of maintaining, , " needful in both sexes, " difficulty of regaining, " should be maintained, child-bearing, the question of, " prevention of, childhood, children, let them romp, play, &c., " sleep of, " weight of at birth, coffee, use of by children, conception, continence not hurtful, , " physiologically considered, , diapers for children, choice of, diet of the mother, during gestation, embryo, earliest stage of, evil, first step of, , fathers, injurious actions of, females, self-abuse in, , " dangers and temptations of, , " from fourteen to eighteen years, " naturally not amorous, , feminine charms, to preserve, foetal development, recapitulation of, , genital organs, care of in infancy, " " uses of, , health lift beneficial, hope for the fallen, husband, advice to, " not to find fault, " represents "the truth," incontinent, trials of the, infant, the, insane asylums, who are there, introductory chapter, licentiousness, perception of by the female, life, all, comes from the lord, lord, the, alone creates, marriage; act, the, , " the husband, " the wife, " conduct of a man before and after, , " the duties of, " true meaning of the word, " vow, the, married life, how to begin, " true love in, marry, men should, " why do girls, , masturbation, symptoms of, , " taught in schools, at home, &c., mechanical means, in worm affections, menstruation; and care during, , " not an inconvenience, mind, strength of, needful in reformation, nurses, vicious practices of, opiates should be avoided, origin of the sex, penis, secretions forming on, , pin worms, pollutions, nightly, causes of, " produced by drugs, poor houses, who the inmates are, preface, pregnancy, beginning of, " fifth week of, " seventh week of, " two months of, " ten weeks of, " third month of, " fourth month of, " fifth month of, " sixth month of, " seventh month of, " eighth month of, " ninth month of, prepuce, long, prevention of child bearing, preventives to conception, priapism, in boys, prisons, who the inmates are, pure thoughts, necessity for, , purgatives in worm affections, queen victoria, in child bearing, " " a royal mother, self-abuse, to overcome, seminal fluid, sex, man powerless to regulate, " origin of the, sexual act, the, in marriage, , , " act, the frequency of, in marriage, " disorders come from within, " impressions on children, causes producing, " impressions should never affect a child, " instinct too strong, " intercourse, illicit, dangers of, , " intercourse, illicit, should not be recommended by a physician, , " matters, use of good information on, " organs, earliest discernment of, " organs, needless laving, handling, &c., " precocity in children, " precocity in children, case illustrating, " temptations, to conquer, , , , " thoughts, influence of, , soothing syrups, avoidance of, spermatorrhoea, causes of, " caused by drugs, syphilis, , " mental effects of, syphilitic poisoning, syringes, , syrups, soothing, avoidance of, tea, use of, by children, tobacco, use of, by children, unfortunate, to the, urinate, inability to, in the morning, vaginal injections, vermifuges, in worm affections, washings, uselessness of, , weight of children at birth, "wet dreams," causes of, wife, choice of, " represents "the good," " should allow the sexual act, , , " to be considerate, will power, man should be governed by the, wine, use of by children, worms, " are of constitutional origin, [ transcriber's note: the following is a list of corrections made to the original. the first line is the original line, the second the corrected one. practically qualified, both by inherent qualities and education for the practically qualified, both by inherent qualities and education, for the origin of the sex origin of the sex, heighth of sexual orgasm is reached, ejaculation of semen occurs and height of sexual orgasm is reached, ejaculation of semen occurs and as inflamations, excoriations, itchings and swellings of the genital as inflammations, excoriations, itchings and swellings of the genital low. _the same thinking, feeling and desiring preceeds the adoption of low. _the same thinking, feeling and desiring precedes the adoption of view to take, because, pomp, style and show _are not the true objects of view to take, because pomp, style and show _are not the true objects of some well-meaning and otherwise apparrently good husbands, but not true, some well-meaning and otherwise apparently good husbands, but not true, young ladies why do you marry? through infancy, childhood and young ladies, why do you marry? through infancy, childhood and everyone from exposing him--or herself, to the risk. but, having fallen, everyone from exposing him- or herself to the risk. but, having fallen, children, sleep of, " sleep of, husband, advice to husband, advice to, " seventh week of " seventh week of, sex, origin of the, " origin of the, " temptations, to conquer , , , " temptations, to conquer, , , , ] * * * * * +-----------------------------------------------------------+ | transcriber's note: | | | | inconsistent hyphenation in the original document has | | been preserved. | | | +-----------------------------------------------------------+ * * * * * commendations from eminent men & women _what a young woman ought to know_ commended by rev. f.b. meyer the eminent english preacher and author [illustration: rev. f.b. meyer, b.a.] minister of christ church, westminster, london, author of "israel, a prince with god," "elijah; tried by fire," "the bells of is," etc., etc. "the questions which are dealt with in the 'self and sex series' of books are always being asked, and if the answer is not forthcoming from pure and wise lips it will be obtained through vicious and empirical channels. i therefore greatly commend this series of books, which are written lucidly and purely, and will afford the necessary information without pandering to unholy and sensual passion. i should like to see a wide and judicious distribution of this literature among christian circles." commended by charles m. sheldon the eminent american preacher and author [illustration: charles m. sheldon, d.d.] pastor of central congregational church, topeka, kansas; author of "in his steps," "the crucifixion of philip strong," "lend a hand," "born to serve." "it is a pleasure to call attention to the books of the 'self and sex series' which have been prepared with great wisdom for the express purpose of teaching the truth concerning the subjects which are painfully neglected." commended by mrs. m.w. sewall the eminent american educator [illustration: mrs. may wright sewall] principal of the girls' classical school; former president of the international council of women; and nominee of the international congress of women. "i am profoundly grateful that a subject of such information to young women should be treated in a manner at once so noble and so delicate that any pure-minded teacher or mother may read or discuss its pages with young girls without the slightest chance of wounding the most delicate sensibilities, or by being misunderstood." commended by mrs. m.l. dickinson the eminent american christian worker [illustration: mrs. mary lowe dickinson] former president of the national council of women; general secretary of the order of the king's daughters; emeritus professor of literature denver university; editor of "the silver cross;" author of "the temptation of katharine gray," "one little life," etc., etc. "any young woman, knowing all that this volume teaches, has an essential foundation for whatever other knowledge she may acquire." commended by mrs. m.b. carse the eminent american christian worker [illustration: mrs. matilda b. carse] founder of the woman's temple, chicago. "as a mother, i can truly say that my heart goes out to you in endorsement of this book. it is pure and instructive on the delicate subjects that mean so much to our daughters, to their future as home-keepers, wives and mothers, and to the future generations. it can but create a more reverent ideal of life in every girl who reads it, and i wish every daughter in the land could reap of its benefit." commended by mrs. e.c. stanton the eminent american lecturer and author [illustration: mrs. elizabeth cady stanton] noted woman suffragist, lecturer and author. "your books i consider a valuable addition to the literature of the day on social ethics. the many facts you state are not only important for a knowledge of social science, but involve good health and morals." commended by mr. c.n. crittenton the eminent american philanthropist [illustration: charles n. crittenton] founder of the national florence crittenton mission "the frequent excuse which parents give for not enlightening their children on these most important points is that they have never known how to do so. this excuse can no longer be considered valid. "dr. wood-allen has a remarkable gift in the facility and refinement with which she is able to approach the most delicate subject without arousing a single morbid and sensitive impulse." commended by mrs. h. campbell the eminent american author and educator [illustration: mrs. helen campbell] dean of the department of household economics in the kansas state agricultural college. author of "prisoners of poverty," "wage earners," etc., etc. "i cannot speak too warmly of your invaluable series. there is hardly a woman in america so thoroughly qualified by education, long experience, deep sympathies, and, most excellent of all gifts, as deep common sense, as dr. mary wood-allen, to meet the growing need, or rather the growing sense of need. mothers and fathers alike will be helped and enlightened by these simple, clear-phrased, wholesome books, and they deserve all the success already their own." commended by l.m.n. stevens the eminent temperance worker [illustration: mrs. lillian m.n. stevens] president of national woman's christian temperance union. "i consider the book 'what a young wife ought to know' a wise and safe teacher. it is a careful and delicate presentation of vital truths which have to do with the happiness and welfare of home life." commended by eminent american authors and editors margaret warner morley author of "the song of life," "life and love," "the bee people," etc. "there is an awful need for the book, and it does what it has undertaken to do better than anything of the kind i have ever read. you may rely upon me to make it known wherever i can." elisabeth robinson scovil superintendent of the newport hospital, and associate editor of the ladies' home journal; author of "the care of children," etc. "'what a young woman ought to know' is characterized by purity of tone and delicacy of treatment. "it is one which a mother can place with confidence in the hands of her daughter. reverent knowledge is the surest safeguard of innocence, and it is every mother's duty to see that the young girl committed to her charge is duly forearmed by being forewarned of the dangers that lie around her." pure books on avoided subjects _books for men_ _by sylvanus stall, d.d._ "what a young boy ought to know." "what a young man ought to know." "what a young husband ought to know." "what a man of ought to know." _books for women_ _by mrs. mary wood-allen, m.d. and mrs. emma f.a. drake, m.d._ "what a young girl ought to know." "what a young woman ought to know." "what a young wife ought to know." "what a woman of ought to know." published by in the united states the vir publishing company - n. fifteenth street philadelphia in england the vir publishing company imperial bldgs., ludgate circus, london, e.c. in canada ryerson press cor. queen and john streets, toronto, ontario [illustration: mrs. mary wood-allen, m.d.] new revised edition _self and sex series_ what a young woman ought to know by mrs. mary wood-allen, m.d. national superintendent of the purity department woman's christian temperance union; author of "what a young girl ought to know," "marvels of our bodily dwelling," "child confidence rewarded," "teaching truth," "almost a man," "almost a woman." [illustration] philadelphia, pa.: - n. fifteenth street the vir publishing company london: toronto: imperial buildings, the ryerson press, ludgate circus, e.c. queen and john streets. copyright, , by sylvanus stall entered at stationers' hall, london, england. protected by international copyright in great britain and all her colonies and possessions, including india and canada, and, under the provisions of the berne convention in germany, belgium, denmark, spain and her colonies, france, including algeria and the french colonies, haiti, italy, japan, luxembourg, monaco, norway, sweden, switzerland, and tunis. _all rights reserved_ [printed in the united states] copyright, , by sylvanus stall copyright, , by sylvanus stall to the daughter dear, whose intimate and confidential companionship from childhood to womanhood has made it possible for me to feel a sympathetic interest in the life-problems of all girls, this book is most lovingly dedicated by her mother contents. part i. chapter i. what are you worth? page the first great lesson to learn, your own importance--probably twelve million young women in the united states--what it means for one of them to be sick--woman's work in the world--the using of spiritual forces--how much are you worth to your home, to the community, to the state, to the nation, to the race? chapter ii. care of body. your body is your dwelling--it expresses you--we can judge of character by the external appearance--the body also an instrument and should be taken care of--not "fussy" to take care of it in youth--we should prepare for life chapter iii. food. a desire for health creates a desire to know how to obtain it--the question of diet--we eat to repair waste and to supply new material--overstudy less a cause of illness than wrong eating--tea and coffee not foods--alcoholic beverages interfere with digestion--dyspepsia produced by worry--we should give ourselves to our friends--young women should study scientific cookery chapter iv. sleep. every thought, activity, or motion causes expenditure of force--in sleep the energy restored--amount of sleep needed--effect of sleeplessness--causes of unrefreshing sleep--ventilation of sleeping rooms--beauty sleep chapter v. breathing. how often we breathe--what is accomplished by breathing--office of oxygen in the blood--breathing our measure of ability--breathing gymnastics, their value--importance of the diaphragm in breathing chapter vi. hindrances to breathing. effect of sitting attitudes--how to counteract this--wrong positions in standing--restrictions of clothing--rule for the tightness of clothing--why tight dresses may feel comfortable chapter vii. added injuries from tight clothing. the effect upon the heart--danger of exercising in tight dress--effect of tight clothing upon the kidneys, upon the liver, stomach, and bowels--how the bowels are held in the abdomen--influence of tight clothing upon the pelvic organs--upon the circulation--a tapering waist a deformity chapter viii. exercise. the purpose of physical culture--balance between waste and supply--gymnastic dress a necessity--value of housework--bicycle riding--dancing--skating--lawn tennis--running up and down stairs--bathing chapter ix. bathing. beauty of complexion--condition of skin indicates condition of digestive organs--pimples--constipation--thermal bath--foot bath--time to bathe--daily baths--the use of soaps--wrinkles--care of the hands part ii. chapter x. creative power. we have godlike powers: reason, imagination, conferring life--organs of individual life same in both sexes--differences between the sexes in size--dignity of man chapter xi. building brains. babies born deaf, dumb, blind and helpless--the activities of the baby build its brains--our brains develop through cultivation of the senses--certain areas of brain govern certain movements of body--can learn how to build up any part of brain--professor gates' experiments in training dogs--creation of habits--effects of malevolent passions, such as anger, worry, etc. chapter xii. you are more than body or mind. you are neither body nor mind, you are spirit--your relationship to god--god's obligation to us--our obligation to him--god's school--his method of teaching us. chapter xiii. special physiology. differences between boys and girls--boys need our sympathy--the crisis in the girl's life--sex in mind--description of the sex organs chapter xiv. becoming a woman. all life from an egg--the human egg--menstruation--girls may injure themselves through ignorance--value of sex. chapter xv. artificialities of civilized life. menstruation should be painless--dr. mary jacobi's opinion--dr. emmett on the artificial life of young women. chapter xvi. some causes of painful menstruation. woman not necessarily a semi-invalid--effects of wrong clothing on the young girl--evils of novel reading--evils of constipation--congestions produced by displacements--serious results of abdominal displacements--value of abdominal bandage--how to make one--how to wear it--effects of wrong attitude--standing on one foot--correct attitude. chapter xvii. female diseases. displacements of uterus--leucorrhea--patent medicines--honest physicians--sitz baths for reducing congestions--age at which menstruation first appears--non-menstruation and consumption--mechanical hindrances to menstruation-- suppression--scanty flow--profuse flow--treatment. chapter xviii. care during menstruation. no long walks or rides--may pursue usual avocations--if pain, keep quiet--do not use alcoholics of any kind--use of heat--use of cold--should you bathe at this time--arrangement of clothing and napkins--mental serenity. chapter xix. solitary vice. its results--causes--lack of cleanliness--pin-worms--all functions attended with pleasure--sex not low--its development accompanied by increased power--how overcome the bad habit?--remove causes of pelvic congestions--train the senses--study clouds, leaves, shapes, birds, etc. chapter xx. be good to yourself. what is real fun--the effects of a wrong idea of fun--flirtations--familiarities--criticism of girls by young men--class of girls who are most respected--responsibility of girls--the conduct of a pure woman the safeguard of man. chapter xxi. friendship between boys and girls. the meaning of friendship--mother the girl's wisest confidante--kissing--friendship between brothers and sisters--platonic friendships--the value of noble companionship. chapter xxii. friendship between girls. gushing girls--manly friendships--the highest type of friendship--to love truly is to grow strong by true giving. chapter xxiii. exercises. correct dressing--to overcome curvature--round shoulders--to strengthen the back--to develop the chest--abdominal muscles--to restore displaced organs. chapter xxiv. recreations. walking--running--riding--skating--rowing--cycling--tennis-- swimming--skipping--dancing--card-playing--theatre-going. part iii. chapter xxv. love. different ideas of different people--much that is called love is selfishness--love at first sight--present conditions of society unnatural--parents unwilling to teach their children, yet permit flirtations, etc.--what is love?--one word to express different phases of regard--love of man and woman--love should include mental congeniality, spiritual sympathy and physical attraction--young people should have opportunity to get acquainted--comradeship of young people--love is a growth. chapter xxvi. responsibility in marriage. who is the young man?--what are his antecedents, his talents, his habits?--what sort of a family does he belong to?--the wife marries her husband's family--girls should know this--a mother's privilege. chapter xxvii. the law of heredity. a strange will--should study the law of inheritance--plant heredity--race heredity--national characteristics--individual inheritance--we are composite photographs--the law of heredity a beneficial law--transmission of evil a warning--bad tempers inherited--atavism. chapter xxviii. hereditary effects of alcohol, tobacco, etc. alcoholism produces nerve degeneration--tight lacing may have the same result--nerve degeneracy may lead to alcoholism--idiocy and inebriety increasing--effects of wine--evils of patent medicines--inebriety of parents entails injury on offspring--folly of marrying a man to reform him--hereditary effects of morphine, chloral, etc.--dangers of the tobacco habit--inherited effects of tobacco. chapter xxix. effects of immorality on the race. the law of god not a double law--the inherited effects of immorality--millions die annually from its effects-- transmitted to child or wife--contamination through a kiss. chapter xxx. the gospel of heredity. inheritance of good so universal that we fail to think of it--mercy shown to thousands of generations--heredity not fatality--effects of education transmitted--experiments of professor gates on dogs--a divine inheritance. chapter xxxi. requisites of a husband. what is the young man's inheritance?--what are his ideas?--what is his estimate of woman?--what are his defects?--are there adequate reasons why some should not marry?--may not married people be happy without children--a girl should know something of the personal habits of her future husband--should consider her own personal habits--how freely may young people talk together? chapter xxxii. engagements. becoming engaged for fun--may not engaged young people throw aside restrictions?--long engagements--the benefits of an engagement--evils of a long engagement--engagement a time of preparation--sexual attraction not limited to local expression--duty of the engaged young woman to her own family--jealousy the quintessence of selfishness--trust a suggestion to be true--common sense needed in marriage--hold your lover to the highest ideals. chapter xxxiii. the wedding. folly of preparing an elaborate trousseau--the way of one sensible girl--the wedding gifts--bridal tours--the realities of wedded life. preface. during a number of years it has been my privilege to be the confidante and counsellor of a large number of young women of various stations in life and in all parts of the united states. these girls have talked freely with me concerning their plans, aspirations, fears and personal problems. it has been a great revelation to me to note with what unanimity they ask certain questions concerning conduct--queries which perhaps might astonish the mothers of those same girls, as they, doubtless, take it for granted that their daughters intuitively understand these fundamental laws of propriety. the truth is that many girls who have been taught in the "ologies" of the schools, who have been trained in the conventionalities of society, have been left to pick up as they may their ideas upon personal conduct, and, coming face to face with puzzling problems, are at a loss, and perhaps are led into wrong ways of thinking and questionable ways of doing because no one has foreseen their dilemma and warned them how to meet it. the subjects treated in this little book are discussed because every one of them has been the substance of a query propounded by some girl otherwise intelligent and well informed. they have been treated plainly and simply because they purport to be the frank conferences of a mother and daughter, between whom there can be no need of hesitation in dealing frankly with any question bearing on the life, health or happiness of the girl. there is therefore no need of apology; the book is its own excuse for being, the queries of the young women demand honest answers. life will be safer for the girl who understands her own nature and reverences her womanhood, who realizes her responsibility towards the human race and conducts herself in accordance with that realization. life will be nobler and purer in its possession and its transmission, if, from childhood onward to old age, the thought has been held that "life is a gift of god and is divine," and its physical is no less sacred than its mental or moral manifestation; if it has been understood that the foundations of character are laid in the habits formed in youth, and that a noble girlhood assures a grand maturity. dear girls who read this book, the mother-heart has gone out to you with great tenderness with every line herein written, with many an unspoken prayer that you will be helped, uplifted, inspired by its reading, and made more and more to feel "a sacred burden is this life ye bear. look on it, lift it, bear it solemnly; stand up and walk beneath it steadfastly; fail not for sorrow, falter not for sin, but onward, upward, till the goal ye win." mary wood-allen. ann arbor, michigan. part i. the value of health, and responsibility in maintaining it. what a young woman ought to know. chapter i. what are you worth? my daughter dear: when i see you with your young girl friends, when i look into your bright faces and listen to your merry laughter and your girlish chatter, i wonder if any one of you understands how much you are worth. now you may say, "i haven't any money in the bank, i have no houses or land, i am worth nothing," but that would only be detailing what you possess. it is not what you possess but what you are that determines what you are worth. one may possess much wealth and be worth very little. i was reading the other day that the first great lesson for a _young man_ to learn, the first fact to realize, is that he is of some importance; that upon his wisdom, energy and faithfulness all else depends, and that the world cannot get along without him. now if this is true of young men, i do not see why it is not equally true of young women. it is not after you have grown old that you will be of value to the world; it is now, in your young days, while you are laying the foundation of your character, that you are of great importance. we cannot say that the foundation is of no importance until the building is erected, for upon the right placing of the foundation depends the firmness and stability of the superstructure. dr. conwell, in his little book, "manhood's morning," estimates that there are twelve million young men in the united states between fourteen and twenty-eight years of age; that these twelve million young men represent latent physical force enough to dig the iron ore from the mines, manufacture it into wire, lay the foundation and construct completely the great brooklyn bridge in three hours; that they represent force enough, if rightly utilized, to dig the clay from the earth, manufacture the bricks and construct the great chinese wall in five days. if each one were to build himself a house twenty-five feet wide, these houses would line both sides of eight streets reaching across the continent from the atlantic to the pacific. for each one to be sick one day is equal to thirty thousand being sick an entire year. now, if there are twelve million young men in the united states, we may estimate that there are an equal number of young women. although we cannot calculate accurately the amount of physical force represented by these young women, there are some things we can tell. we know that for each one of these young women to be sick one day means thirty thousand sick one year. just imagine the loss to the country, and the gain to posterity if it can be prevented! rome endeavored to create good soldiery, but was not able to produce strength and courage through physical culture of the men alone. not until she began the physical education of the women, the young women, was she able to insure to the nation a race of strong, hardy, vigorous soldiery. so the health of the young women of to-day is of great importance to the nation, for upon their vigor and soundness of body depend to a very great extent the health and capacity of future generations. we are told that in the state of massachusetts, in one year, there were lost twenty-eight thousand five hundred ( , ) years of time through the illness of working-people by preventable diseases. dr. buck, in his "hygiene," tells us that one hundred thousand persons die every year through preventable diseases, that one hundred and fifty thousand are constantly sick through preventable diseases, and that the loss to the nation, through the illness of working-people by diseases that might have been prevented, is more than a hundred million dollars a year. so we can see that each individual has a pecuniary value to the nation. you are worth just as much to the nation as you can earn. if you earn a dollar a day, you are not only worth a dollar a day to yourself and to your personal employer, but you are worth a dollar a day to the nation; and if, through illness, you are laid aside for one day, the nation, as well as yourself, is pecuniarily the loser. young women could not build the houses that would line eight streets from new york to san francisco, but, rightly educated, they could convert each one of these houses into a home, and to found a home and conduct it properly is to help the world. it is so easy to measure what is done with physical strength. we can see what men are doing when they build railroads, construct immense bridges and towering buildings, but it is more difficult to measure what is done through intellectual and spiritual forces; and woman's work in the world is not so much the using of strength as it is the using of those finer forces which go to build up men and women. with this thought in your mind, can you answer the question, how much are you worth? how much are you worth to yourself? how much are you worth in your home? how much money would your parents be willing to accept in place of yourself? how much are you worth to the community in which you live? how much are you worth to the state, the nation, the human race? you can recognize your value in the home when you remember how much you are the center of all that goes on there, how much your interest is consulted in everything that is done by father and mother. you can realize your value to the state when you realize how much money is spent for the education of young people, how cultured men and women give the best of their lives to your instruction. you cannot measure your value to the human race until you begin to think that the young people of to-day are creating the condition of the world in fifty or one hundred years to come; that you, through your physical health, or lack of it, are to become a source of strength or weakness in future years, if you are a mother. it is all right that young women should think of marriage and motherhood, provided they think of it in the right way. i want you to reverence yourself, to realize your own importance, to feel that you are a necessity to god's perfect plan. when we are young and feel that we are of no account in the world, it is difficult to realize that god's complete plan cannot be carried out without us. the smallest, tiniest rivet or bolt may be of such great importance in the construction of an engine that its loss means the incapacity of that piece of machinery to do its work. as god has placed you in the world, he has placed you here to do a specific work for him and for humanity, and your failure to do that work means the failure of his complete and perfect plan. now can you begin to see how much you are worth? and can you begin to realize that in the conduct of your life as a young woman you are a factor of immense importance to the great problem of the evolution of the human race? in the light of these thoughts i would like to have you ask yourself this question every day, how much am i worth? chapter ii. care of body. the question "how much are you worth?" is not answered by discussing your bodily conditions, for your body is not yourself. it is your dwelling, but not you. it, however, expresses you. a man builds a house, and through it expresses himself. the external appearance causes the observer to form an opinion of him, and each apartment bears the impress of his individuality. to look at the house and then to walk through it will tell you much of the man. the outside will tell you whether he is neat, orderly and artistic, or whether he cares nothing for the elements of beauty and neatness. if you go into his parlor, you can judge whether he cares most for show or for comfort. his library will reveal to you the character of his mind, and the dining-room will indicate by its furnishings and its viands whether he loves the pleasures of sense more than health of body. you do not need to see the man to have a pretty clear idea of him. so the body is our house, and our individuality permeates every part of it. those who look at our bodily dwelling can gain a very good idea of what we are. the external appearance will indicate to a great extent our character. we glance at one man and say, "he is gross, sensual, cruel, domineering;" at another and say, "he is intellectual, spiritual, fine-grained, benevolent." so we judge of entire strangers, and usually find the character largely corresponds to our judgment, if, later, we come to know the person. the anatomist and microscopist who penetrates into the secrets of his bodily house after the inhabitant has moved out can tell much of his habits, his thoughts, his capacities and powers by the traces of himself which he has left on the insensate walls of his dwelling. the care of the body, then, adds to our value, because it gives us a better instrument, a better medium of expression. the old saying, "a workman is known by his tools," is equally true of the body. the carpenter who cares for his saws, chisels and planes, who keeps them sharp and free from rust, will be able to do better work than the one who carelessly allows them to become nicked, broken, handleless or rusted. the finer the work which one does, the greater the care he must take of the instruments with which he works. a jack-knife will do to whittle a pine stick, but the carver of intricate designs must have his various sharp tools with which to make the delicate lines and tracings. when we speak of health and physical conditions in discussing the question of your value, we are discussing the instrument upon whose integrity depends your ability to demonstrate your value. many young people think it nonsense to pay attention to the preservation of health. i have heard them say, "o, i don't want to be so fussy! it will do for old folks to be coddling themselves, but i want a good time. i'd rather die ten years sooner and have some fun while i do live." i wonder what these same young people would think if they should hear a workman say, "well, i have here a fine kit of tools; i am assured that if they are destroyed they will never be replaced; but now, while i am learning my trade, i don't want to be 'so fussy' about keeping them in order. it will do for 'boss workmen' to take care of everything so constantly, but now i want to break stones with these delicate hammers, to cut nails with these razor-bladed knives, to crack nuts with these slender pincers. by and by, when i am older, i'll use them as they should be used, but i think it's all nonsense to be so careful now." if in later years you should hear him complain that he had nothing to work with, would you feel like pitying him? no "kit of tools" was ever so complete as is the bodily instrument given to each one of us. its mechanism has been the inspiration of inventors; it combines all forms of mechanical devices; its delicacy, intricacy, completeness and adaptability challenge the admiration of the philosopher, the engineer, the master mechanic. i cannot here tell you of all its wonders,[ ] but i would like to give you such an exalted idea of its importance that you would look upon it with reverence and take a justifiable pride in keeping it in perfect working order. i would like to make you feel your personal responsibility in regard to its condition. you know that in the ages past men believed the body to be the individual, and they endeavored through care of the body to build up mental as well as physical power. in those days the acrobat and the sage were found working side by side in the gymnasium, the one to gain physical strength, the other to increase his mental ability, and each profited as he desired. when men made the discovery that the body is not the individual, but merely his dwelling and instrument of expression, they came to feel less regard for it, and lost their interest in its care and culture. even the early christians, forgetting what paul said about the body as a temple, began to call it vile, and thought it an evidence of great piety to treat it with contempt. i have read of one religious sect who believed that the creator of the body could not have been the creator of the soul, and held that the chief object of god's government was to deliver the captive souls of men from their bodily prisons. when men began to understand that the thinking principle was the real self and the body merely a material encasement, it was no wonder that they valued the body less and held mind as of great value. they failed to see that mind without a material organ of expression is, in this world, of no account. a great pianist with no piano could not make music, and he would be considered a strange being if he did not care for his instrument most scrupulously. think of a rubinstein voluntarily breaking the piano strings or smashing the keys, while he made discordant poundings, and excusing himself by saying that it was "fussy" to take care of a piano until it was old. you cannot imagine such a thing. we can all appreciate the value of a man-made instrument or machine; but the god-created body, a combination of machines and instruments of marvelous power and delicacy, we neglect or treat with absolute, positive injury, and excuse ourselves on the ground that when it is old we will treat it more kindly. melville says it is a sin to die, ignoring what is to be done with the body. "that body," he says, "has been redeemed, that body has been appointed to a glorious condition." it seems to me we prize the body far more after its use for us is at an end than while it is ours to use. we do not neglect the dead; we dress them in beautiful garments, we adorn them with flowers, we follow them to the grave with religious ceremonies, we build costly monuments to place over their graves, and then we go to weep over their last resting-place. after all, is it not life that we should value? life here and hereafter, not death, is the real thing for which we should prepare, and earthly life without a sound body is not life full and complete. life is joy, vigor, elasticity, freedom from pain or illness, enjoyment of all innocent pleasures in maturity as well as in youth. we have no right to look forward to decrepitude, to failure in zest of living, to lessening of real enjoyment because of coming years. life should increase in beauty and usefulness, in ability and joyousness, as the years bring us a wider experience, and this will be the case if we in youth have been wise enough to lay the foundation of health by a wise, thoughtful, prudent care of our bodies and our minds. footnotes: [ ] this dr. mary wood-allen has done in a volume entitled "marvels of our bodily dwelling." this book teaches physiology and hygiene, by metaphor, parable, and allegory in a most charming way. superbly illustrated. mo. price, cloth, $ . , post free. chapter iii. food. if i can arouse in your mind a most earnest desire to be strong and vigorous, i shall not find it necessary to give you very minute directions, for if you have the ambition you will find the way. if i could excite in you an intense longing to visit paris, i should know that you would begin to seek for the way of getting there. if i could create in you an earnest aspiration to be well and physically strong, i should know that you would seek for the books that would give you the necessary instruction. it will not be needful to talk of rules and restrictions if i can make you feel the glory of having a sound body. if you were starting on a journey, i should not need to warn you of by-paths, of traps, or of dangers if i could be assured that your eye was fixed upon your ultimate destination. so it is in the matter of health; and yet there are some general rules or principles which i might lay down for your consideration. in regard to the matter of diet. i do not want you to be hampered by "don'ts" and restrictions as to what you shall eat, but i do want you to eat with the thought in view that eating is to be governed by judgment and not by the pleasures of sense. why do we eat? not merely because the food tastes good. there is a better reason. we eat to live. we know that the food which we take into our bodies is digested, elaborated and assimilated--that is, made over into ourselves--and unless this digestion, elaboration and assimilation is properly conducted, we shall not be fully and completely nourished. our body is made up of cells; the food which we eat is transformed into cell structure, and this new cell-material takes the place of the worn-out cells. our reason would tell us that if too little material is furnished, cells will not be properly repaired and ill-health will follow. our reason would tell us in the same way that if too much material is furnished, the machine will be clogged and the work will not be properly done. we will also understand at once that an irregular supply of new material would interfere with the elaboration of that which is undergoing the process of digestion and assimilation. we can see, too, that unless the various tissues receive the material which they can transform into themselves, they will not be fully repaired. if material is taken into the system which supplies no tissue with what it needs, this material becomes a source of irritation. these general rules borne in mind are sufficient to guide us into a wiser life than if we do not understand them; and, understanding these general principles, we will be anxious to study the particular rules which govern digestion and assimilation. i have known young women in college to be so absolutely ignorant or indifferent to physiological law as to be injuring themselves constantly by disobedience of such laws. i knew one girl, supposed to be a very fine student, and to have brought on "fits" by overstudy, while away at school. i had an opportunity to investigate the case, and i discovered that she had been eating from morning till night. she carried nuts, and candy, and apples in her pocket, had pickles and cake in her room, and studied and munched until it was no doubt a disturbed digestion, rather than an overused brain, that caused the "fits." if you will eat regularly of plain meat, vegetables, fruits, cereals, milk and eggs, plainly prepared, and avoid rich pastries, cakes, puddings, pickles and sweetmeats, you will have compassed the round of healthful diet, and need give yourself very little anxiety in regard to anything more. i should like to emphasize the fact, however, that tea and coffee are not foods. they are irritants, stimulants, nerve-poisons. they bring nothing to the system to build it up. they satisfy the sense of hunger without having contributed to the nourishment of the body. if you are wise you will avoid them. you will not create for yourself any false necessities. you will avoid the use of alcohol in all forms, whether wine, ales, beer or cider, as well as in the stronger forms, because you will know that these products interfere with digestion. dr. kellogg, of battle creek, has made an experiment which proved that sherry to the amount of per cent. of the contents of the stomach retarded digestion nearly per cent. he calculates that per cent. of sherry would be equal to two tenths of per cent. of alcohol, and it would be necessary to take less than an ordinary tablespoonful of the wine to obtain this percentage. when per cent. of claret was used (equivalent to three-tenths of per cent. of alcohol), there was marked diminution in digestive activity. this certainly proves that even the so-called light wines are injurious, and certainly the drinks that contain a large per cent. of alcohol must be that much more hurtful. if you use good judgment both as to the quality and quantity of foods, you need then give the matter very little thought. people sometimes make themselves dyspeptics by worrying about what they eat. eat what is set before you, making a judicious choice both as to variety and quantity, and then determine that your food shall digest. when you live upon the higher plane of thought, you will not be so much interested in the question of food as regards gustatory pleasure. you will understand that eating is a necessity, but you will not be thinking about it; you will not be desiring to please the sense of taste; you will see that there are higher forms of sociability than mere eating with friends, and you will not be so interested in late suppers, and in various forms of sense gratification because you enjoy more thoroughly the higher pleasures. you will serve your friends with delicate food, simply and daintily prepared, and seasoned with that wit and wisdom which remain as a permanent mental pabulum. you will make them feel that when you come to visit them you come not to get something to eat, but to enjoy them, to receive from them the inspiration which they can give. we often treat our friends as if we thought they came as beggars for physical food. it is a much higher compliment to treat them as though we thought they came to exchange thoughts with us, to walk with us in the higher paths of living, and that the physical food we give them is only incidental. i was once entertained where a company of intelligent, cultured people were assembled, and we did not see the hostess from the time we entered the house until supper was served. she sat at the table, worried and anxious, and after the supper was over she did not make her appearance until just as we were about to leave. she did not pay us the high compliment of giving us herself, but she bestowed upon us that which a hired cook might have given. you remember what emerson says: "i pray you, o excellent wife, cumber not yourself and me to get a curiously rich dinner for this man and woman who have just alighted at our gate. these things, if they desire them, they can get for a few shillings at any village inn; but rather let that stranger see, if he will, in your looks, accents and behavior, your heart and earnestness, your thought and will, that which he cannot buy at any price in any city, and which he may travel miles and dine sparely and sleep hardly to behold." it would indeed be worth your while to study food scientifically, to know how to prepare dainty and tempting dishes wholesomely, and then to serve your guests with such beauty of manner, such graciousness of courtesy, that they will remember the meal they have taken with you as idyllic in its simplicity, beauty and helpfulness. chapter iv. sleep. shakespeare writes of "sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care." the metaphor is striking, but not accurate. to knit up that which is ravelled implies using the old material in repairing the damage, but that is not the way in which the body is rebuilt. the old material is thrown out and new material put in its place, and that largely takes place during sleep. we have read of brownies who came at night and swept and churned and baked while the housewife slept. so, in our bodily dwelling, the vital forces are our brownies, and they can work more uninterruptedly while we are asleep than when we are calling on them to move us from place to place, or to aid us in various activities. much of life's processes must remain a mystery to us, but certain things we have learned, and one is that perfect health cannot be maintained, strong nerves cannot be constructed, nor a clear brain be built without plenty of sleep. the baby sleeps almost continually because he is building so much new structure. the growing child needs more sleep than the adult; but even after reaching maturity sleep cannot be materially lessened without injury to the whole organization. we appreciate the need of food. we are often very needlessly alarmed for fear that we shall starve from one meal to the next, but few of us realize that food cannot be assimilated, built into tissue, without some hours in which the vital forces can devote themselves wholly to the work of assimilation. during the working hours of the day we are expending force. the brain is using it in thought, the muscles are calling for force in various activities, the emotions are expending energy, and each of these activities is creating changes in the cells of the body. we know that life in the body is only possible through constant death of the atoms of which it is composed. we can only live because we are constantly dying. huxley says, "for every vital act, life is used up. all work implies waste, and the work of life results directly or indirectly in the waste of protoplasm (which is the cell substance). every word uttered by a speaker costs him some physical loss, and in the strictest sense he burns that others may have light." each word, thought, activity, emotion causes expenditure, and unless expenditure is in some way made good, there will be bankruptcy. how shall we get back the energy we have expended and so restore our vital forces to their equilibrium? the protoplasm of which our cells are made we can obtain from the protoplasm of animal and vegetable substances which we eat, but we cannot use the material unless we are sometimes at rest, and by quiescence of brain and muscle give a chance for worn-out cells to be removed and new material put in their place. it is when we lay our bodies down in the beautiful repose of slumber that this process can go on with most perfect results. then, when all the forces can be concentrated on the process of nutrition, will nutrition be most perfect. when we awake refreshed after a night of sound sleep we are really fed. it is quite doubtful if, in a normal condition, we would want food until we had been at work some time and by destroying tissue have created a demand for more new material. if we were only half as anxious that food should be assimilated--that is, made over into ourselves--as we are that it should be put into the stomach, we would be very careful to secure for ourselves a due amount of good sleep. and what is a due amount? that depends. i once heard of a servant girl whose mistress complained of her because she did not get up early in the morning, and the girl's excuse was, "but, ma'am, i can't get up early because i sleep so slow." it seems a ridiculous statement, and yet there is a germ of truth in it. in some people the vital processes go on with such rapidity that the old, worn-out material will be eliminated and the new material built into the body in a comparatively short time. seven hours of good sleep, perhaps, make them feel strong and rested and able to start on a new day's work with courage and ease. in others the vital processes are hindered or work feebly and slowly, and eight or nine hours of sleep scarcely suffice to complete the work of restoration. what is the obvious inference? simply that each one shall judge for himself; but each should be wise enough not to confuse sleeplessness with having had sufficient sleep. very frequently the loss of sleep makes it difficult or impossible to sleep, and not until the excited condition of nerves can be calmed, can refreshing slumber be obtained. young women who attempt to be in school and in society at the same time often bring themselves into the condition of insomnia or sleeplessness, and foolishly fancy that because they do not sleep they do not need it. it is not at all difficult to understand that if you are constantly taking money out of the bank, you must also be constantly putting money in, or some day you will be told that your account is already overdrawn and your draft will not be honored. one can overdraw for a time, and right here is the danger with young people. they fancy, because they are not at once told that they are overdrawing, that their bank account is unlimited, and then, when it is too late, they find themselves on the verge, if not clear over the verge, of bankruptcy. how shall you know whether you sleep enough? if you will make it a rule to go to bed by ten o'clock every night, and go to sleep at once, and sleep soundly and waken with a clear head and a rested feeling, you may infer that you have slept enough. if you are still tired or dull, something is wrong. you may have been in bed long enough, but your room may not have been ventilated, and so you may be poisoned by breathing over and over again the emanations from your own body. or for some reason the process of digestion and assimilation may not have been carried on, and poisons have been created instead of being eliminated. if you waken unrefreshed, i should want to inquire into your habits of life. was there opportunity for fresh air to enter your room? was there in it no uncovered vessel, no old shoes in the closet, no soiled underclothing, nothing that could contaminate the atmosphere? did you eat a hearty supper late in the evening? is your system oppressed with a superabundance of sweets? are you living on simple, wholesome food, or eating irregularly of all sorts of trash? there may be many causes, you see, for your "tired feeling" in the morning, and instead of taking some "sarsaparilla," or other drug, i should try to find out the cause and remove it. many people are afraid of night air, and scrupulously shut it out of their sleeping-rooms, and yet, what kind of air can you get at night but night air? and is it not better to have pure night air from out of doors than the impure night air of a close room? i once went with two ladies to ascend the rigi in switzerland, in order to see the sun rise. one of these was a polish countess, who took with her a little black-and-tan terrier. the hotel at the rigi staeffel was crowded, and we thought ourselves very fortunate to secure a room with three beds. the countess disposed herself in one bed with her little dog, and i took one bed, saying to my friend, "you'll please open the window before you go to bed?" "o certainly," she replied. the little countess sprang up in evident alarm. "open the window!" she cried; "why, we'd all take our death of cold! i beg of you don't do it. i could not sleep a wink if the window were open." my friend spoke reassuringly to her, and she at length grew quiet, when my friend surreptitiously raised a window and we went to sleep. the next morning the countess asked, with a strange air of incredulity, "were you in earnest when you spoke about opening the window? why, i never heard of such a thing in my life. i know i should have been ill if you had persisted in having the window open." my friend and i exchanged glances silently. we knew she was not ill and she had slept with the window open, but doubtless she would have been ill had she known it was open, for she had a wonderful imagination. when we were called at three o'clock to get up and go to the top of the mountain to see the sun rise, she turned herself luxuriously in her bed and said she could imagine it. she had taken this journey and "climbed the mountain" (that is, was carried up in a chair, with her dog in her lap), to see the famous sunrise on the rigi, and then remained in bed and imagined it! her imagination seemed entirely satisfactory, and so we did not quarrel with her. sleep is the most positive beautifier, the best cosmetic. the term "beauty sleep" is no misnomer. sleep freshens the complexion, smoothes out wrinkles, clears out the brain, strengthens the muscles, puts light into the eyes and color into the cheek. chapter v. breathing. the first thing you did when you came into this world was to inspire, that is, to breathe in. the last thing you will do will be to expire, that is, to breathe out. and between your first inspiration and your last expiration there will have been the process of respiration, that is, breathing in and out at an average rate of twenty times a minute. twenty times a minute means twelve hundred times an hour, or nearly thirty thousand times a day, or over ten million times a year. if you should live to be fifty years old, you will have breathed in and out over five hundred million times. we eat three times a day, twenty-one times a week, over a thousand times a year, fifty thousand times in fifty years, but we breathe over five hundred million times in fifty years. we realize the importance of eating, but we can live days without food. on the other hand, we cannot live many seconds entirely without air. we must infer from all this that breathing is more important than eating. how can it be? from our food our body is rebuilt. what life-process is accomplished by breathing? to understand this, we must learn what processes are going on in the body, by means of which food is converted into tissue, into heat and energy. these processes we find are chemical, and may be likened to the combustion of wood or coal in the furnace. we know that fire must have air in order to burn. burning is the process of oxidation or combustion of oxygen with the atoms of fuel and the formation of a new substance thereby. coal, we are told, consists of carbon and nitrogen, both of which readily combine with oxygen, and in the process of uniting heat is liberated, and waste compounds thus formed pass off through the smokestack or chimney. we may not understand this scientifically, but we know that if we want the fire to burn well we must give it draft or air. our bodies are living engines, and use food and air instead of coal and air. food in the body without air is like the coal in an engine without air; and air is useful only because it brings oxygen to unite chemically with the food. this process is going on all over the body. each little microscopical cell is a furnace in which oxidation is taking place; and not only is energy liberated, but reconstructive processes are going on, new tissues are being formed, and old tissues removed. but how can the oxygen get to the cells in all parts of the body? we can readily see how it gets to the air-cells of the lungs, but it would do little good if it stopped there. it must be carried in some way to all the minutest cells of all the tissues. this is done through the breathing. the blood goes to the lungs, and there it gives out the waste material it has collected in its journey through the body and takes up oxygen. the blood goes to the lungs dark in color from its load of waste. it is changed to a bright red by taking up oxygen. each red blood-corpuscle takes a load of oxygen, carries it to its destination, and gives it to some tissue to be used up in the chemical process of oxidation, upon which depends our life and energy. during the hours of rest the tissues are busy in this process, and during exercise the energy stored up in the tissue-cells is liberated and waste created. so we see that the process is a continual round of taking food and air, using them in rebuilding tissue, then using up the tissue by exercise and casting out the waste products. and now we can begin to understand that we live in proportion as we breathe. dr. holbrook says: "the activity of the child is in close relation to the strength of its lungs; so, too, is the calmness, dignity and power of a man in proportion to the depth and tranquility of his respiration. if the lungs are strong and active, there is courage and boldness; if feeble, there is cowardice and debility. to be out of spirits is to be out of breath. to be animated and joyous is to be full of breath." "breathing," writes dr. von der deeken, "is an actual vivifying act, and the need of breath as felt is a real life-hunger and a proof that without the continual charging of the blood-column with the proper force, all the other vital organs would soon stagnate and cease action altogether." now i wonder how many young women really know how to breathe. "why," you say, "we have always breathed!" and i reply, "so you have, to some extent; but do you really breathe, or do you just let a little current of air flow gently through a part of your lungs, not reaching the minute air-cells at all, or have you crippled a large part of your lung-power by the restrictions of tight clothing?" now you shrug your shoulders and say, with a little irritation, perhaps, "o, now she is going to scold about corsets and tight-lacing, and i do not wear my clothes tight." but i am not now going to talk of lacing; i am going to talk about singing, and speaking, and real living. the highest class of living creatures are those that have most power to breathe. the cold-blooded animals breathe little, and are slow-moving creatures with deficient sensation and small powers of action. man has large lung-capacity and should be full of life and power, and will be, if he understands himself. one benefit of exercise is the added impulse given to the heart and lungs, calling for more breath, and bringing more blood to the lungs to receive the added supply of oxygen. if we were wise we would practise the art of deep, voluntary breathing, as a daily form of gymnastics. what would it do for us? wonderful things, if we may believe the doctors. even in the old greek and roman times the doctors recommended deep breathing, the voluntary holding of air in the lungs, believing that this exercise cleansed the system of impurities and gave strength. and all our scientific discoverers have proven that they were right, and modern doctors have only learned more of the process and added to the wisdom of the ancients. professor lehwess says that he uses deep breathing not only as a health remedy but as a cure for muscular convulsions, especially chronic spasms; and he says that he bases his method for the cure of stuttering mainly upon respiratory and vocal exercises, "whereby," he says, "we work on enervated muscles, and make their function bring them into permanent activity and make them obedient to our will." thus not only will the respiratory system be enlarged and quickened, and the lungs strengthened, but the blood circulation is promoted and those injurious influences overcome which often take away the stutterer's courage for speaking. dr. niemeyer, of leipzig, urges breathing in these words: "prize air; use good, pure air; breathe fresh air in your room by night and day." dr. bicking says that respiratory gymnastics are the only effectual remedy for pulmonary affection, especially for consumption. the marquise ciccolina claims that by the teaching of breathing gymnastics she has cured people of a tendency to take cold easily; she has benefited cases of lung and heart trouble, and she has cured nervous asthma even in cases that have lasted from childhood to maturity. dr. kitchen asserts that if the various structures of the body, including the lungs, are in a sufficiently healthy state, consumption cannot find a soil in which to commence its ravages, or, if already commenced, can be cured by attention to the general health, by pure air and deep breathing. all this proves that the breathing is of great importance--of just as much importance to women as to men. it used to be thought that women breathe naturally with the upper part of the chest and men with the abdominal muscles, but we have now learned that in the breathing of both men and women the diaphragm should be used and the lower part of the chest expanded. the breathing should neither be thoracic--that is, with the upper part of the chest--nor abdominal. it should be diaphragmatic; that is, with the expansion of the sides of the lower part of the chest, thus filling every air-cell and bringing the life-giving oxygen to the blood. the importance of the diaphragm as the breathing muscle cannot be overestimated. a diaphragm, you know, is a partition across a cylinder; the diaphragm is a muscular partition across the cylinder of the body, dividing the lungs from the abdomen. in breathing, the diaphragm becomes tense, and in becoming tense becomes also flattened, just as an umbrella does by being opened. in fact the opening and shutting of an umbrella gives a very good idea of the motion of the diaphragm in breathing. we can realize, then, how much larger around the body will be when the lungs are fully inflated than it is when we breathe the air out and the lungs are empty. a few minutes spent each day in exercising in diaphragmatic breathing would be of great advantage in increasing beauty of form, in giving strength and power to the voice, in improving the complexion and adding to the health, and therefore to the happiness. in taking these exercises, one should either stand erect or lie flat upon the back and draw the air in through the nose, keeping the mouth closed. draw in gently, allowing the chest to expand at the sides, hold the air for a little time, and then breathe out slowly. these exercises performed in a room that is well ventilated, or, better still, in the pure air of outdoors, will do much toward driving away headaches, clearing the brain, giving better judgment, stronger will, and a clearer, happier, brighter disposition. chapter vi. hindrances to breathing. this little conversation will be on the hindrances to deep breathing, for if we make up our minds that it is so important to breathe deeply we shall be very anxious to know how to avoid the hindrances to deep breathing. first, let me speak of attitude. if you study physiology and note the arrangement of the internal organs, you will very easily see that when the body is compressed in a sitting attitude there must be a hindrance to full and deep breathing. the girl who is running the typewriter or the sewing-machine, or the girl who is working as bookkeeper or stenographer, or the girl at her studies, is sitting so that it will not be possible to breathe deeply, for the lungs are encroached upon by the crowding together of the other _viscera_ (which means the vital organs) and the action of the breathing muscles is impeded by compression. as you will readily observe, there can be no lifting of the chest in this compressed attitude, no complete flattening of the diaphragm, no full inflation of the minute air-cells; therefore, as we have learned, the blood is not thoroughly purified, and actual poisons created by the vital processes accumulate in the brain and tissues until you feel overpoweringly weary and stupid. you cannot think, because you cannot fully breathe. you have often found, when sewing, that the machine would get, as you say, bewitched. it wouldn't feed, the thread would break or the needle would snap, and the whole work go wrong. put the machine away, take a rest, and the next day, without doing anything at all to the machine, you find that it runs perfectly. the trouble was with yourself. it is so with the girl who is running the typewriter. she finds that it makes mistakes in spelling, things go wrong altogether. it "acts up," as she would say. so with the girl who is bookkeeper. the figures will not add themselves up right. now if, under these circumstances, the girl would get up, go to the door, take a few deep breaths and expand the lungs fully, she would relieve the internal congestion consequent upon the cramped position, the brain would be freed from the accumulated poison, and as a consequence the troublesome problems would soon be solved, the typewriter would spell correctly, the figures would add themselves up accurately, and life would become brighter at once. five minutes spent each hour in deep breathing of pure air would add both to the quality and quantity of work done, and so be a saving of time. this certainly is of great value to you in your work in the world. after working-hours are over, the girl should make a special effort to sit erect for other reasons than that of breathing, though that is reason enough. but wrong sitting-postures are not the only attitudes that interfere with deep breathing. very often the position in standing is also objectionable. when one stands with the weight resting on the heels the body is thrown out of balance, and as a consequence the shoulders are not on a vertical line with the hips. in this attitude it is impossible to manifest fullness of life, because the lungs are not fully inflated with air at each breath. we live, enjoy, accomplish only in proportion to our breathing ability. as one writer says, "the deep thinker, the orator, the fine singer, must of necessity be a good breather." the most serious hindrance to deep breathing is found in the restrictions of the clothing. i do not say of the corsets, because tight bands or waists can also compress the body and make full breathing impossible. of course you say your dresses are loose, and you run your hand up under your waist to prove it to me. i will not argue the question with you, but i will ask you to argue it with yourself. if breathing is the measure of your living and doing, then if, in the least degree, you limit by your dress your breathing, the dress is too tight. "well," you ask "how shall i know if i am hindering my breathing? my dress feels comfortable. it seems to me that i breathe. is there any way that i can prove whether my dress is tight or not?" it is true that one becomes accustomed to uncomfortable things and scarcely realizes that they ever were uncomfortable. the dress may seem a little tight when you first put it on, then it begins to grow comfortable, and after a while it feels loose, and you say it certainly is loose. i will give a simple rule by which you may know whether your clothing is loose enough or not. unfasten every article of clothing; dress, corset, skirt-bands, everything. now breathe in slowly until every air-cell is full. it may take some practice to do this, but persevere until you find the chest elevated and filled to its utmost extent. it should swell out at the sides along the line of the insertion of the diaphragm. there should be no heaving of the chest. now, with the lungs so completely filled with air, bring your dress waist together without pulling a particle. will it fasten without pressing out a bit of air from the lungs? if so, it is loose enough. if, however, you have to pull it together, even to the tiniest extent, you have pressed out some of the air. the minute air-cells that have thus been emptied cannot be again filled while the dress is fastened. therefore you are defrauded of your rightful amount of air, and because part of the air is pressed out, the lungs take less space and the dress seems looser. you can understand how that would be. the trouble is that our dresses are usually fitted over empty lungs. the dressmaker pulls the dress together, squeezes the air out of the lungs, and fastens the dress. now you can readily understand that it will be impossible to fill those air-cells so long as the dress is worn, and yet it may not seem uncomfortable, because we become accustomed to it. nature has made us so that we can accustom ourselves to many things that are not absolutely healthful, but this should not make us willing to live unhealthfully when it is possible to avoid it. chapter vii. added injuries from tight clothing. we have talked of the effect of tight clothing upon the breathing power. let us see what other injuries arise from wearing the dress too tight. in the first place, the action of the heart is impeded. the heart is a hollow muscle which must be continually filled with blood and emptied again many times a minute from the moment of birth till the moment of death. you have been lying down for an hour; let me count your pulse. now sit up for a few moments. i find, now, that it beats faster. now stand up, and it beats still faster. you see, it increases continually as you get into the erect position. now walk quickly across the floor and you will see how much it has increased again in rapidity. you will realize how much the dress interferes with the action of the heart better from an illustration. professor sargent made an experiment with a number of girls. one day they were dressed in perfectly loose clothing. he counted the pulse of each. it beat on the average of eighty-four times in a minute. he had them run five hundred and forty yards in the space of two and a half minutes. the pulse was again counted. it had increased to one hundred and fifty-six beats in a minute. this illustrates the effect of exercise even in loose clothing. the next day at the same time, dressed with a corset which reduced the waist to twenty-four inches, they ran the same distance in the same length of time, and then he found that the pulse had run up to one hundred and sixty-eight beats in a minute, showing how much harder it was for the heart to do its work when restricted by tight clothing. no acrobat would attempt to perform feats of strength or of agility if restricted even so much as by a belt. the russian government has issued an edict that the soldiers must wear their pantaloons held up by suspenders, for it has been demonstrated that when they wear them supported by a belt around the waist they are not able to do a fair amount of work. the austrian government has also decreed that the pantaloons of soldiers are not to be suspended by belts because of the increase of kidney difficulty caused thereby. we will understand why kidney difficulty is caused by tight clothing when we study the location of the kidneys and how they are affected by compression of the ribs. most people think the kidneys lie low down in the back, but in reality they lie up under the short ribs, and the pressure of tight clothing brings the ribs to bear directly upon the kidneys, injuring them in such a way as often to cause disease. the heart and lungs are protected by a bony framework called the thorax, but below the thorax there is no protection for the internal organs except that of the muscles, therefore the corset or tight clothing can do most damage to the vital organs below the diaphragm. the largest of these is the liver. it should lie close up under the diaphragm, from which it is suspended. under the influence of tight clothing it is often pressed over on the right side, sometimes extending over the whole front of the body, or even as low down as the navel. it is rutted by the pressure of the ribs. the corset liver is well known in the dissecting-room. sometimes, where corsets are not worn and tight skirts are worn, supported by the hips, the liver has almost been cut in two, the pieces being only held together by a sufficient band of tissue to keep them from dying. when hiram powers, the great sculptor, was in this country, he once attended an elegant party, and was observed watching very intently a beautifully dressed, fashionable woman. a friend, noticing his interest, said to him, "what an elegant figure she has, hasn't she?" "well," said powers, "i was wondering where she put her liver." you see, powers had studied the human body, and when he saw such an outline as the figure of a fashionable woman, he knew that some internal organ must be displaced in order to create that tapering waist, and his anxiety was for the internal organs. as an artist he did not admire the tapering waist, as is shown by the beautiful marble statue which he made. no artist would perpetuate in marble the figure of the fashionable woman. not only is the liver thus displaced, but the stomach is often pressed out of its original position, which should be also close up under the diaphragm, towards the left side. by the pressure of clothing it is sometimes pushed down until it lies in the abdominal cavity, even as low down as the navel. this is the statement of dr. j.h. kellogg, who, in his sanitarium at battle creek, examines hundreds, or even thousands of women in a year, and asserts that it is almost impossible to find a woman whose stomach is where it belongs. this is a serious matter, because no organ can do its work properly when it is out of its rightful position. we understand this in any machinery except that of the human body. we would not meddle with a man-made machine because that would hinder its perfect working, but we do not hesitate to interfere with the body, forgetful that it, too, is a machine, divinely created, and with powers most fateful to us for weal or woe. but the harm is not all done by the displacement of the organs mentioned. the bowels suffer, and we can best understand what is done to them when we understand how they are placed in the abdominal cavity. let me take the ruffle you are making. the mesentery is a delicate, narrow membrane about twenty feet long. we will compare it to the ruffle. folded in it at one edge are the small intestines, just as i can run this bodkin into the hem of this ruffle. the other edge of the mesentery is gathered up as you have gathered the ruffle. it is gathered into a space of about six inches in length, and is fastened up and down the spine in the region of the small of the back. you can see, if i gather up twenty feet of this ruffle into a space of six inches, how the mesentery, with the intestines folded in the free edge, are held in the abdominal cavity. they are held loosely, and at the same time so that the intestines cannot be tied in knots or loops upon each other. in this way the ruffle flares out into the abdominal cavity. the intestines should stay in their place close up under the liver and stomach, but if pressure is brought to bear around the body at this point, the bowels begin to sag into the abdominal cavity. the abdominal walls lose their tonicity because they are so compressed that they cannot have a perfect circulation, the bowels sink down still further into the pelvis, and pull upon their attachment in the small of the back, creating backache. the stomach sags down into the cavity; the liver sinks, and all the organs pull upon their attachments; so it is no wonder that women have backaches and headaches, and their eyes feel bad, and they are unable to stand or walk. we don't want small rooms in our dwelling-houses, we don't like it if we haven't sufficient space for our furniture; but in this bodily house in which we dwell we are quite willing to constrict the rooms in which the vital organs or furniture are placed, until everything is huddled together in the closest pressure, so that the organs are unable to do their work. it wouldn't matter in our parlors if the chairs and tables were huddled close together, for they are not constantly changing in size, but it does matter in a room where machines must have space to work and such space is not permitted them; and we cannot expect good work where we crowd machinery so that it does not have adequate room. the influence of tight clothing upon the pelvic organs is to displace them and create a great many difficulties which we know as "female diseases." but these, in my opinion, are not the most important things. the important things are the displacement of the vital organs of the body--those organs without which we cannot live, and those organs the perfect working of which is necessary both to our health and our happiness. if we are wise we will be exceedingly anxious that every vital organ shall be allowed to hold its own position, to do its own work, with plenty of room. the impeding of the heart-action by tight clothing is not in itself the most serious effect of this restriction. the serious trouble is in the disturbance of the circulation. upon a perfect circulation depends perfect nutrition. the blood must go in sufficient quantity to every organ in order that it may be fully nourished. when the waist is compressed the organs do not receive their full amount of blood. it is retained, and therefore the organs are congested. the feet are cold because the blood does not reach them in sufficient quantity, and the brain, it may be, is hot, because the blood is not taken from the head with enough rapidity and furnished to the other organs. so we find that tight clothing interferes with the integrity and health of every organ in the body, and consequently with our happiness and with our usefulness. the reason we admire the tapering waist is because we have been wrongly educated. we have acquired wrong ideas of beauty. we have accepted the ideals of the fashion-plate rather than those of the creator. we find that some form of physical deformity maintains in almost every country. the chinese deform the feet, and we think this is barbarous, but it is really not as serious as the deforming of the vital parts of the body. the flathead indian is deformed in babyhood by being compressed between boards until the head changes its shape. among some savage nations the leg is bandaged for a few inches above the ankle and for a few inches below the knee and the central part is allowed to expand as it will, and this deformity to them constitutes beauty. among other nations, holes are made in the ears and pieces of wood are inserted. the size of these pieces is gradually increased until the lobe of the ear will hang down upon the shoulder and a piece of wood as large as a man's arm be worn in the ears. all of these things seem to us most horrible; yet, after all, they are not as much an insult to the divine architect of the body as the deformity practised by civilized and so-called christian people, who by restriction of the waist interfere with the vital organs and prevent the body from being perfect in its development, or perfect in its action. the activity of the body is an evidence of its life, and if it is so tied up that it cannot be active, it certainly is not in the fullest condition of life. chapter viii. exercise. you said to me, my daughter, that you wanted to join the class in physical culture. i asked you why, and you said because you thought you needed to build up in certain parts of the body. you were defective in muscular development; you needed also to acquire grace, you thought. and i said, "is muscular development the primary object of physical education?" you seemed to think that it is. now i want to talk to you a little along that line, and to demonstrate to you, if i can, that physical education is not primarily for the building up of big muscle, or for the gaining of power to do great feats of bodily strength or skill. the object of physical education is to develop a quickly responsive, flexible instrument for the soul to use, for that is what the body is. physical culture, rightly conducted, aims to secure the highest condition of the body through the exercises that are required by the laws of the body. law, physical law, governs the body, and exercise should be according to this law. the first object of exercise is to make a vital supply for the whole body. this is first secured by proper attitude. if we stand or sit properly we gain a proper position of the vital organs, and then they will do their work well, and the result will be more perfect nutrition. the use of certain organs increases supply, and the use of others quickens waste; a balance should be maintained between the two. we must nourish the life-sustaining organs before using the organs which use up brain-supply, therefore we want to be sure that we are working according to these laws. a great many people have an idea that physical culture means building up big muscle. they measure the muscles of the arm and of the leg, and judge by their increase in size of the value of the exercise. this is not a correct measurement. individuals may weigh themselves down by development of muscles until they have not sufficient internal vital force to carry so much weight. if we could only balance between the organs which supply nutriment and the organs which use it up, we would keep in perfect health. we want to learn how to secure a maximum of results with a minimum of force. that is, we want the body to be quickly responsive, to be flexible, to be so that we can use it for the things we want to do without wasting strength, and yet without being weighed down by a superabundance of muscular tissue. the first desideratum in taking exercise is to have every organ of the body free, therefore a gymnastic dress is a necessity. then we should have the exercise conducted by some one who understands the peculiarities of each individual and knows just what exercises are suited for her in her special physical condition. they should also be directed by one who understands perfectly that the girl with an anæmic brain, that is, with a brain having too little blood, cannot be conducted on the same plan as the exercise of the girl who has a superabundance of blood in the brain. the best exercise is that which employs the mind pleasantly. a good deal of exercise may be obtained in housework, and, if conducted with pleasure in the work, may be of great physical advantage. not long ago i listened to a very charming talk by a lady whose dress betokened her a woman of society. she wore white kid gloves, a dainty flower bonnet, and in herself appeared an exponent of leisure and happiness. her address was entitled "the home gymnasium," and i supposed that it would consist of descriptions of machinery that could be put up in one's own dwelling for gymnastic purposes, but i soon found that her home gymnasium meant household duties. she said one could scrub the table and obtain the best exercise for arms and chest, and at the same time produce an article or piece of furniture which would be a delight to the eye in its whiteness and brightness. she said that in scrubbing the floor one obtained very much the same movement that would be given in the gymnasium, while at the same time the exercise would conduce not only to the personal advantage but to the happiness of the family. she spoke of sweeping, and dusting, and bed-making, and expressed herself as competent to do all these kinds of work, in fact, as doing them. and she said she never felt more of a lady than when scrubbing her kitchen floor, and she was not ashamed to be seen by her friends at this work. if any one rang the door-bell, she said she would simply put on a clean apron and go to the door, and remark without hesitation that she was just scrubbing her kitchen floor, but she was glad to see her friends. this sort of a home gymnasium is at the command of nearly every girl, and if she can bring herself to feel an interest in this home gymnastic exercise, she may find it conducive not only to her own physical well-being, but to the comfort and happiness of all about her. the question is often asked whether bicycle-riding is injurious for girls, and i would say that in my opinion it depends largely upon the girl. has she good common sense? of course i am speaking of the girl who is in a normal condition of health. a girl of extreme delicacy, or who is subject to some functional difficulty, or the victim of some organic disease, might not find it advantageous to ride. a physician should, in these cases, be consulted. but for the ordinary girl, the girl of fairly good health, if she will learn how to sit properly upon her saddle, will have the good sense to ride with judgment, it seems to me that the exercise must be productive of great good. my own experience is somewhat limited. i made some discoveries in my attempts to ride. in the first place, i learned that it was important to know how to sit. in reading a book on "physical culture and hygiene for women," by dr. anna galbraith, i found this sentence: "sit upon the gluteal muscles, and not upon the perineum." this was a revelation to me. i found that i had been doing the thing which was not proper, and bearing the weight almost entirely upon the perineum had caused constant rectal irritation. the gluteal muscles, closely held together, form a firm support for the body without injuring any of the vital organs. i found that by distributing the weight--a little upon the handle-bars, and some upon the feet--i was able to sit with less weight and heaviness upon the saddle. i found, too, that it was quite important to have the saddle high enough, so that the legs might be fully extended at each stroke, and with these precautions i found the wheel a source both of enjoyment and of strength. the harm done by the wheel i believe in most instances to be due to an ill-adapted saddle or a lack of good judgment in the amount of exercise taken. it is such a fascinating exercise, one seems to be flying and scarcely realizes how much of nerve-force is being expended. if the girl learning to ride will be prudent, gauging the amount of exercise by her amount of strength; if she will gradually acquire the needed strength before attempting long wheeling trips; if she will be judicious and not ride, perhaps, during the first two or three days of menstruation, there seems to be no reason why the ordinary girl should not be entirely benefited by this most delightful form of exercise. it is not as objectionable, to any degree, as the exercise of dancing. dancing is a most fascinating amusement, and if it only could be conducted under proper circumstances it would be very delightful. in itself it is not so objectionable as in its concomitants; the late hours, the improper dressing, the hearty suppers in the middle of the night, the promiscuous association and the undue familiarity of the attitude of the round dance are what make dancing objectionable. if dancing could be conducted out of doors, in the daylight, with intimate friends, without the round dances, only those forms of dancing which may be likened to gymnastics, as the contra-dance, the cotillion, the objections to dancing would be largely removed, but i am of the opinion that a large share of the fascination of dancing would go at the same time. skating is a delightful, invigorating form of exercise, if conducted with judgment. one objection to it is that the girl will skate until wearied, and then, in that exhausted condition, perhaps ride home, or take a long, tiresome walk from the pond to her residence, all of which is sapping her unduly and annulling the value of the skating as an exercise. lawn-tennis is delightful and beneficial, provided it is undertaken with due judgment and the girl is properly dressed. in fact, the subject of dress is so closely associated with that of exercise that they can never be considered separately. even the moderate exercise of walking, conducted in the dress of the fashionable woman, is in itself an element of danger, whereas more violent exercise in a loose dress becomes a means of increased strength and vigor. i am often asked if girls should be allowed to run up and down stairs. i see no reason why girls should not go up and down stairs just as freely as boys, if they are properly dressed; but going up and down stairs in tight clothing is certainly very injurious. chapter ix. bathing. you and your girl friends take much pains with your personal adornment. you spend time in curling your hair and in putting on ribbons and laces, but i sometimes think you do not pay as much attention to personal cleanliness as you ought. it would seem as if some of you thought that powder would cover a defect in cleanliness and perfumery would conceal the odors of the person; but indeed it seems to me that the stylish make-up of your dress or the curl of your hair is of very little importance compared with the care of your health. you each desire to have a beautiful complexion. i used to be told in my childhood that beauty was only skin-deep, but i have learned better. i know that even the beauty of the complexion depends upon the integrity of the nutritive organs as well as upon the care and attention given to matters of personal cleanliness. i read the other day of a discussion between two young men concerning the cleanliness of girls of their acquaintance. one young man noticed that although one of the girls wore a very pretty dress-gown, she had forgotten to clean her finger-nails. the other remarked that many things in regard to a girl's personal cleanliness could be learned by riding behind her on a tandem. the two then commented favorably upon the girl whose nails were pink, whose ears and neck were clean, her teeth white and dazzling, and her hair well brushed. i might say, in passing, that this hair-brushing time at night may be well employed in reviewing the experiences of the day in order to learn the lessons they teach, and thereby to avoid to-morrow the mistakes of to-day. these same young men also said that the complexions of some girls suggested the idea of too little fresh air and too much candy. this, they agreed, it was impossible to hide with powder. so we see that the care of the skin is quite important if one would have the respect and the admiration of her associates. the skin is a very beautiful, complex and delicate covering of the body. it consists of six layers, and contains arteries, capillaries, lymphatics, nerves, sweat glands, sebaceous glands, pigment, etc. so you see that the care of the skin involves much. one writer has said, "at the skin man ends and the outlying universe begins." the skin, filled with nerves, is continually reporting to the brain concerning what is the condition of all parts of the body. the condition of the skin reflects the condition of the digestive organs. many girls are trying to cure pimples on the face by the use of salves and lotions, when in all probability all that they would need to do to gain a good complexion is to pay attention to diet, to quit eating between meals, and not to eat so much pastry, pickles or sweetmeats. our athletes and pugilists are learning that they must take care of the skin if they would keep in good condition, and they are what in horses would be called well groomed. the skin is rubbed, cared for, kept active, because it is understood that it is an organ of sensation, of secretion, of excretion, of absorption, and of respiration. more solid matter is thrown out from the skin than from the lungs, in the proportion of eleven to seven. it is even more than the excretion from the bowels. the skin is an organ of breathing. this seems strange to us, but it really does take up oxygen and give out carbonic acid, so upon the condition of the skin will depend very largely the condition of the general health. we can detect a constipated condition of the bowels through the color and odor of the skin. many girls feel that it is more delicate to neglect the care of the bowels than to attend to a daily evacuation, but if they would remember that it is just as indelicate to carry effete or dead matter about in the bowels as it would be to carry it upon the person in any other way, they would realize that it is only politeness and refinement to see that this part of their bodily housekeeping is duly attended to. if the bowels do not do their work the skin will be obliged to take extra labor upon itself; so, as we have said, by the odor of the skin we can detect the fact that the skin is doing the work that should be done by the bowels. when a person is sick the condition of the internal organs is shown in the complexion, and nothing more clearly indicates health than the condition of the skin. if this is so important, how shall we care for the skin? first, by bathing. the tin bath-tub of the englishman accompanies him in all his travels, and has penetrated even to the jungles of africa. bathing appliances are marks of civilization, and the bath-room is becoming a necessity. where the bath-room does not exist it is easy to bathe thoroughly and completely. a wash-basin of water, with a sponge and towel, furnish all that is absolutely necessary. a most convenient bath is the portable thermal bath, an arrangement of rubber cloth that can be opened out to form a square enclosure in which the person sits, with the head in the free outside air, the body enveloped in steam generated by an alcohol lamp. this, followed by a quick sponge-bath of cool water, is a most efficient way of cleansing the skin; and this bath may be used in any room, no matter how beautifully furnished, without soiling the carpet or furniture in the least. one great secret of healthful bathing is, when warm or hot water is used, to follow it by an immediate application of cold water, which leaves the skin in a tonic condition. in preparation for going out in cold weather, nothing is so efficient a protection from the cold as a foot-bath. soak the feet for a few minutes in water as warm as is comfortable, then plunge them into cold water and remove immediately, or throw cold water over them, wipe them thoroughly dry, rub them with a little olive oil, draw on a pair of clean, warm hose, and the feet are not only warmed, but are protected against cold and will stay warm. these precautions will prevent one taking cold from the foot-bath. care of the feet is a great necessity not only for health, for equalizing the circulation, but for the prevention of unpleasant odors. as to time of bathing, i suppose that the body is at its highest point of vital power at about ten o'clock in the morning, but this is, for most people, the most inconvenient time for a bath. the circumstances of the individual are to be consulted, and also the effect of bathing. there are those who are made nervous by taking a bath, consequently they will not be benefited by taking one just before going to bed. in other cases the bath conduces to slumber. this depends very largely upon the amount of blood in the brain. a person with an anæmic brain will not be benefited by the bath at bedtime, but the person whose brain is overcharged with blood will find the evening bath quieting. i would not advise everybody to take a daily bath. there are those who are benefited by it; there are others who might be injured by it. it is best to study personal peculiarities and to watch the effect of the bath. if, within a few hours, or the next day, there is great exhaustion, one might naturally conclude that the bath was not altogether beneficial. there are those in such delicate health that a cold bath at any time does not seem desirable; but constant attention will secure perfect cleanliness, as the arms and chest can be bathed one day, the abdomen and back another, the lower extremities still another day, and so the whole body be compassed twice or more in the space of a week. in regard to the use of soap for bathing purposes, the finest, purest soaps should be used, and these alone. it is generally supposed that pure, white castile soap is the best. various soaps are widely advertised, while some that claim to be of the very best are not always up to the requisite standard. yet one can tell by a little experience what soap is of pure quality, and such soap can be applied even to the face without injury. in washing the face the hand is probably the best instrument, with the thumb under the chin, the fingers turned toward the upper part of the face. the manipulation should be against the direction of forming wrinkles, wherever there is a tendency for wrinkles to appear. they can be held in check by the judicious manipulation of the fingers in the opposite direction. wrinkles are created by obliterating the capillary circulation of the skin. the manipulation increases the circulation, and so tends to overcome wrinkles. the expression of the face may form wrinkles. i saw a girl the other day on a street-car who continually held her eyebrows elevated, forming longitudinal lines across her forehead, which had become as fixed in her youthful face as if she had been seventy years of age. this was a lack of care in the governing of the expression of the face, and also a lack in keeping up the capillary circulation. the care of the hands may be considered also while discussing the question of bathing. the hands should be kept clean, the finger-nails particularly cared for, as much of the beauty of the hands depends upon the delicate appearance of the finger-nails. the manicure sets, which are at the disposal of almost every young woman of the present day, are a very great addition to toilet appurtenances. the curved scissors, the polisher, the blunt ivory instrument for pushing back the fold of skin from the root of the nail, all of these used but a few moments in the day will conduce to great beauty in the hands, even for those who are doing housework. part ii. need of special knowledge; some forms of avoidable disease, their remedy and prevention. chapter x. creative power. it is a wonderful thought that god shares his divine endowments with man; that he, being our father, hath bestowed upon us the power to manifest his characteristics. we are proud of these godlike powers. we talk of our godlike reason, and it is divine. we know that god reasons. we have evidence of it in the material world about us, and when we use our reason we are "thinking god's thoughts after him." god has the marvelous power of imagination, using that word in its noblest sense. he has the power to conceive something in thought before it actually exists. he must have seen all the glories of the material universe, worlds upon worlds circling through space, moon and stars, the beauty of forest and stream, of tinted flower and iridescent insect wing before they were brought into being, and he had the power to create them. man has this wonderful gift of imagination. the inventor sees the machine in his thought before he attempts to build it. the poet has the germ of his poem in mind, even the rhythm and rhyme, before he puts it on paper. to the imagination of the artist the canvas glows with color before his brush has touched it. the sculptor, looking at the rough block of marble, sees within it the imprisoned shape of beauty which his genius shall liberate to delight the world. the musician hears, singing through his brain, the marvelous harmonies which, put upon paper, shall entrance all hearers. certainly this glorious gift of imagination is godlike. but it would be useless if it were not accompanied by creative power. the inventor must be able to create as well as to imagine the engine. the poet, the musician, the artist fails of deserving the name if he cannot embody his thought in a form that others may recognize. he must not only imagine, but create. in some degree every intelligent human being has these powers. the housewife imagines her dinner before she prepares it, and a well-cooked dinner, placed upon a well-appointed table with care and taste, manifests something of the ability of the inventor and the artist. the same may be said of her who designs and creates an elegant costume, or arranges a room with taste and skill. we appreciate the housewife's culinary creation; we admire the tasteful creation of the dressmaker; we wonder at the glorious creation of artist or musician; perhaps we even envy them. but food and clothing pass away and are forgotten. even the grand symphony, the beautiful picture, the graceful statue, may pass into oblivion, and man forget that they ever existed. but humanity is endowed with creative powers that are not transient. the brains builded by the individual are transmitted to his posterity from generation to generation. god's greatest power is that of conferring life, sentient life. we might have imagined that that marvelous power he would have kept for himself alone, but he has not done so. we have also the power to confer life. we can call into existence other human beings, and endow them with the record of our own lives, giving to them our form, our features, our measure of vitality, our tendencies, our habits; and these human beings whom we have thus called into life will never die. what diviner, more responsible gift could god have conferred upon us than this? what more worthy of our devout study? in this reverent attitude of mind let us study this gift of creative power, learning what we may of its scope and purpose and the material organs through which it works. in your study of physiology in school you took up the organs of individual life. you studied the framework of the body, its machinery, its internal vital mechanism. you studied about digestion, nutrition, respiration, elimination, and in this you learned nothing of physical differences between individuals. all were considered as having the same organs, used in the same way. girls have the same number of bones as boys, the same number of muscles, of vital organs. they sleep, breathe, eat, digest, grow, according to the same plan. so far there seems no reason why there should be any distinction of male and female. but as we come to study what is called special physiology we discover physical differences and reasons for their existence. there are certain differences of form that are discernible at a glance. men are usually larger than women. they have heavier bones and bigger muscles. they have broad shoulders and narrow hips, and have hair upon the face. women have smooth faces, more rounded outlines, narrower shoulders and broader hips. in man the broadest part of the body is at the shoulders, in woman at the hips. this is significant of a great fact which will be manifest to you when you understand the functions of each sex. although each has the same general plan of individual life, there are special functions which determine the trend of their lives. the man's broad shoulders are indicative that he is to bear the heavy burdens of life--struggles for material support--and woman's broad hips indicate that she is to bear the heavier burden of the race. when we come fully to understand the deep significance of sex, we shall find in it a wonderful revelation of possibilities of development into a god-likeness that will stir our hearts to their very depths. humanity so weak, so lacking in appreciation of his possibilities, so groveling when he should soar, has been endowed with powers that give him control over the destiny of the race. we may well exclaim, with young: "how poor, how rich, how abject, how august, how complicate, how wonderful is man! how passing wonder he who made him such! who centred in his make such strange extremes! from diff'rent natures, marvelously mix'd! connection exquisite of distant worlds! distinguish'd link in being's endless chain! midway from nothing to the deity!" chapter xi. building brains. when you were born you were, as all babies are, deaf, dumb, blind, and helpless, but immediately the external world began to act upon you. then began the process of mind-building. you began to experience sensations of heat and cold, of hunger, of pain. the eyes began at once to recognize the light, the ears to become aware of sounds. after a time, objects were made clear to your sight and certain sounds were recognized. you learned your mother's face and voice, and, little by little, became acquainted with all the objects in the world of home. you began to use your limbs, and in this also you were at work building your mind. we do not sufficiently realize that every aimless movement of the baby has in reality a great purpose--that of creating brainpower sufficient to enable the baby to control itself in all its voluntary movements. we do not think that the fluttering hands and little kicking feet are really building brains, but this is so. and all of life's experiences have been building brain for you ever since. professor elmer gates tells us that only about ten per cent. of our brains are cultivated, that there is a vast field of brain possibilities lying undeveloped in each one of us, and that these possibilities are to be developed through cultivation of the senses. so while i have been talking to you of the care of your body, i have been advocating that which will in reality develop mind. we have learned that certain areas of brain govern certain movements of body. for example, anatomists know not only where the general motor area is located, but they can indicate the very spot where any special motor-force is generated. in the case of a mill girl who was subject to epilepsy and had pain in her right thumb at each attack, it was decided to remove the part of the brain which governed the motions of that thumb. this they could do because they knew just where that motor-center lies, and yet they were able to take out no more than that, for when the wound was healed she had full use of all of her hand except the thumb. we may know that by exercising a certain organ we are building up a certain part of the brain. for example, the man who has cultivated his hearing until he can hear sounds inaudible to ordinary men, has made for himself more brain-cells in the hearing area. if he has cultivated his sight assiduously, he has created more visual cells. if his touch has been cultivated, his brain has received new touch sensation-cells. and professor gates asserts that his mental ability has been thereby increased. you will be interested in hearing of his experiments with animals and what he has learned therefrom. he says he has demonstrated that it is possible to give to an animal or a human being more brains, and consequently a better use of the mental faculties. during twelve months, for five or six hours a day, he trained dogs to discriminate colors. he placed several hundred tin pans, painted different tints, in the yard with the dogs. at one time he put their food under pans of a certain tint. when they had learned to go at once to these pans for their food, he changed the color. again he arranged it so that they would receive an electric shock if they touched pans of any color save the particular one. they soon learned to avoid all the pans except those of this tint. so, by many different methods, he trained them to recognize shades and tints until they could discriminate between seven shades of red and as many shades of green, and in many ways they manifested more mental ability than any untrained dog. while these dogs were being trained, another group of dogs were being deprived of the use of sight by being kept in a darkened room. at the end of the year both groups of dogs were killed and their brains dissected. he found that the dogs kept in the darkness had less than the usual number of cells in the seeing areas, and the cells were smaller, while the dogs which had been trained to discriminate between tints and shades of color many times a day had a far greater number of larger and more complex brain-cells in the seeing areas than any dog of that age and species ever had before. "therefore," says professor gates, "mind activity creates organic structure." prof. gates discovered other things of equal importance. he carried his observations to successive generations, and found that the fifth generation was born with a far greater number of brain-cells than could be found in animals not descended from trained ancestors. this is not only interesting, but of value. you will remember, in our talk concerning your value, we spoke of your value to the race, and learned that in cultivating yourself in any direction you were adding to the welfare of future generations. that was only a general statement, and now you can see how it can be. you see that if you can make more brains for yourself you are also making more brains for your posterity. or if you fail to make brains for yourself, posterity will in like degree be defrauded. many people have the idea that we are obliged to be satisfied with our dower of mental ability, and so are excusable for failing to reach as high a level as some others. if we really believed that we could create brains we would not sit down and sigh over small mental capacity, but go to work at once in building minds for ourselves. and first, we must learn to control our thoughts and make them go where we send them. in too many cases thoughts wander here and there, with no power governing and guiding them. when we are sauntering in the wood we sometimes come upon pathways, and we know at once that many, many footsteps of men or animals have been needed to make the paths. if those who walked here had wandered each in his own way, no path would have been made. one pair of feet going often over the same ground will make a path. so the thoughts, traversing the same areas of brain, will make records on the brain-cells which we may call paths. every time a thought follows the same line it creates a deeper impression, and makes it easier to go over the same territory again. in this way habits are formed. if the thoughts are good, the habits will be good; if evil, the habits will be bad. it is not hard to understand how much easier it is to form a habit than to overcome it. the emotions, like the thoughts, create habits; but, more than this, they create actual physical conditions. it was my pleasure and profit once to have a conversation with professor gates in his laboratory, and he showed me an instrument wherein he condenses the breath. he then subjects it to a chemical reagent, and by the precipitate formed he knows what was the mental condition of the individual, whether he were angry, sorrowful or remorseful. in five minutes after a fit of anger he finds the excretory organs beginning to throw out the poison which anger has created. only five minutes suffice to create the poison, but half an hour is none too much to eliminate it. think what must be the bodily state of one who is constantly irritated or angry, who feels jealousy, hatred, or revenge. with body poisoned by these malevolent passions he cannot feel well, for his physical organs cannot do good work unless fed by pure blood. professor gates finds that the benevolent emotions create life-giving germs in the body; so, to love others is not only helpful to them, but it also gives us new life. anger, worry, hatred, jealousy, are suicidal emotions. we cannot for our own sakes afford to indulge in them, while from selfish reasons alone we should be incited to kindness, generosity, sympathy, and love. chapter xii. you are more than body or mind. we have talked of your body and your mind, but as yet not of yourself. you are not body; you are not mind; but you possess both. you are spirit, created by god, who is spirit; therefore you are his child. you may not have thought much of this fact, but that has not changed the fact. no failure to recognize god as your father changes his relationship to you. no conduct of yours can make you any less his child. "well," you may say, "if that is so, what does it matter, then, what i do? if disobedience or sin cannot make me less god's child, why should i be good and obedient?" because, dear heart, your conduct changes your attitude towards him. you might not know that i am your mother; you might know it and choose to disobey my wishes; yet in both cases i should still be your mother, and no more or less in one case than in the other. but you will have no difficulty in understanding that in one case you would be a loving, helpful, obedient daughter, a comfort and delight to me; in the other, a disobedient, willful, unloving daughter, a care and trouble. we are god's children, each of us, dependent on his love and bounty for protection, food, friends, intellect, even life. is it dignified and noble in us to ignore and disobey him? indeed the most worthy and dignified thing we can do is to recognize ourselves as god's children and be obedient. it is a wonderful glory to be a child of god. it means that we have godlike powers. the children of human parents are like them in their capacities. children of god must have capacities that are godlike. this is true even of the most ignorant or degraded. they have in themselves divine possibilities. if you can get this thought fully engrafted into your consciousness, it seems to me you can never willfully do wrong, can never condescend to a mean or ignoble deed, because you recognize your divine inheritance, and feel compelled by it to live truly, nobly. being children of god puts on us certain obligations towards him, but it also puts on god certain obligations towards us. "what!" you say; "god the infinite under obligations to man, the finite? the creator under obligations to the created?" oh, yes. we recognize the fact that human parents are under obligations to care for their children, to protect them, to educate them, to give them opportunities. even such are the obligations of god towards his human children, and he fulfills them. all our earthly blessings are from his hand. home, friends, shelter, food, are gifts of his love. he takes such minute care of us that if for one second of time he would forget us, we should be annihilated. he educates us. he does not send us away to a boarding-school where we hear from him but seldom, but he has a home-school where he is both father and teacher, and his methods of instruction are divinely wise. the injudicious love of earthly parents often induces them to do for their children things it would be far better to let the children do for themselves. i once knew a boy of seven years, as intelligent as the ordinary child, who had never been allowed to go down stairs alone in his life for fear he would fall. this unwise care of the parents had resulted in the child's being timid, fearful, and unable to care for himself. he would cry if he fell, and would lie still sobbing until some one came to pick him up and quiet him with caresses. at the same time i saw a boy of four who could run up and down stairs, go to the store alone to make purchases, and who, if he fell, would jump up quickly, saying, "o, that didn't hurt." which child had been better protected--the one who had been cared for by an overindulgent parent, or the one who, by judicious stimulation to self-help, had learned to care for himself? god teaches us how to help ourselves, and circumstances of life which we so often think hard and cruel are only the means by which we are being trained to be strong. the things we call failure, worriment, and hardship, are only the little tumbles by which we are learning to walk. the heathen philosopher, seneca, says: "god gives his best scholars the hardest lessons." we know how proud we would feel if our school-teacher would say, "this is a hard problem, but i believe you can solve it." we would be stimulated to work night and day to justify his confidence in our ability. but when a little trial comes in life we are quite apt to say, "god is so hard in his dealings with me. why should he be so unkind?" instead of saying: "these hard things of life are a test of my scholarship, and are an evidence of my teacher's confidence in my ability." i would like you to get this thought fixed in your mind so firmly that you will feel sure that all circumstances of life are but lessons in god's great school, and, rightly used, will be the means of promoting you to higher grades. no scholar wants to stay always in the primary department because it is easy there. he welcomes each promotion, although he knows it means harder lessons and new difficulties. he looks forward to college or university with pride, even though lessons grow harder and harder. god's school of earthly life has in it all grades of advancement. will you be a studious, courageous scholar and try to learn life's lessons well? it is such a wonderful thing to be a child of god, for that means to be an heir of god, an heir of his wisdom, his strength, his glory, his powers. "all things are yours," says paul; "life, death, things present and things to come, all are yours, and ye are christ's, and christ is god's." chapter xiii. special physiology. with a feeling of reverence for ourselves we now take up the subject of special physiology to learn what makes us women. in the study of general physiology we find very few physical differences in the sexes, but when we come to investigate what is called the reproductive system we find entire difference of structure and of function. boys and girls in early childhood are much alike in their inclinations. they both love activity--to run, to climb, to shout, to laugh, to play. if left to themselves one sees not much more difference between boys and girls than between different individuals of the same sex. but as they grow and develop they begin to take on characteristics that indicate the evolution of sex. the boy grows rapidly in height, his voice breaks, the signs of a moustache appear, he seems constrained and embarrassed in society, and yet he begins to show more politeness towards women and more of an inclination to be gallant to girls. he is becoming a man, and assumes manlike airs. often, too, he becomes restless and willful, hard to govern, self-assertive, with an assumption of wisdom that provokes laughter from his elders. the boy is passing through a serious crisis and needs much wise and loving care. there are inner forces awakening that move him strangely; he does not understand himself, neither do his friends seem to understand him. sometimes they snub and nag him, sometimes they tease and make fun of him. in either case he does not find home a happy place, and frequently leaves it to seek more sympathetic companionship elsewhere. i once spoke to an audience of women and girls along this line, and appealed to the mothers and sisters to be kind to the boys in their homes who were between twelve and eighteen years of age, to remember that they were passing through the critical period of transition from boyhood to manhood, and to try and help them by sympathy and kindness. some time later, as i was on the train, a young lady came and sat down by me and said: "i want to thank you for what you said to us the other day about boys. i have a brother about sixteen, and we have done just as you said; we have teased him about his moustache, and his voice, and his awkwardness, and laughed the more because it seemed to touch him. he had gotten so that he never would do anything for us girls, and we called him an old bear. since i heard you i concluded that we had done wrong and i would make a change, so that evening i said kindly, 'charlie, don't you want me to tie your cravat? i'd like to, ever so much.' i shall never forget the surprised look he gave me. it seemed as if he could not believe that i, his sister, wanted to do something to please him, but as soon as he saw i really meant it he accepted my offer with thanks, and since then it seems as if he could not do enough for me. really i have almost cried to think that so little a thing would make him so grateful. i have invited him to go out with me several times, and he seems so glad to go. then i've begun to make things for his room--little fancy things that i never thought a boy would care for--and he has appreciated them so much. why, he even stays in his room sometimes, now, instead of going off with the boys. and the other day, when one of the boys came to see him, i heard him say, 'come up and see my room,' and the other boy said, 'well, i wish some one would fix up _my_ room in such a jolly fashion.' really," said the girl, "if you have done nothing on your trip but what you have done for me, in showing me how to be good to my brother, it has paid for you to come." i often think of this little incident when i see boys at this critical age who are snubbed and teased just because they are leaving the land of boyhood to begin the difficult climb up the slopes of early manhood towards the grander height of maturity; and i wish all parents, sisters and older brothers would manifest a sympathy with the boy who, swayed by inner forces and influenced by outward temptation, is in a place of great danger. the girl at this period is also passing through a crisis, but this fact is better understood by her friends than is the crisis of the boy's life. her parents are anxious that she shall pass the crisis safely, and they have more patience with her eccentricities. she, too, often shows nervousness, irritability, petulance, or willfulness. she has headaches and backaches, she manifests lassitude and weariness, and is, perhaps, quite changed from her former self. she weeps easily or over nothing at all. she is dissatisfied with herself and the whole world. she feels certain vague, romantic longings that she could not explain if she tried. she inclines toward the reading of sensational love stories, and if not well instructed and self-respecting may be easily led into flirtations or conduct that later in life may make her blush to remember. certain physical changes begin to be manifest. she increases rapidly in height, her figure grows fuller and more rounded, her breasts are often sore and tender. hair makes its appearance on the body, and altogether she seems to be blossoming out into a fuller and riper beauty. she is changing from the girl to the woman, and this is a matter of sex. at this time the organs of sex, which have been dormant, awaken and take on their activity, and it is this awakening which is making itself felt throughout her whole organization. we are sometimes apt to think that sex is located in certain organs only, but in truth sex, while centralized in the reproductive organs, makes itself manifest throughout the whole organization. i used to feel somewhat indignant when i heard people talk of sex in mind, and i boldly asserted that it did not exist, that intellect was neuter and had no reference to sex; but i do not feel so now. when i see what an influence the awakening of sex has upon the entire body and upon the character, i am led to believe that sex inheres in mind as well. that does not mean that the brain of one sex is either inferior or superior to the other; it means only that they differ; that men and women see things from different standpoints; that they are the two eyes of the race, and the use of both is needed to a clear understanding of any problem of human interest. you know that the true perspective of objects cannot be had with one eye only, for each eye has its own range of vision, and one eye can see much farther on one side of an object than the other can. you can try this for yourself. if, then, in viewing the vital problems of life we have the man's view only or the woman's view only, we have not the true perspective. we cannot say that either has superior powers of vision, but we can say that they differ, as this difference is inherent in them as men and women, and not merely as individuals. instead, then, of looking at sex as circumscribed, and perhaps as something low and vulgar, to be thought of and spoken of only with whispers or questionable mirth, we should see that sex is god's divinest gift to humanity, the power through which we come into the nearest likeness to himself--the function by which we become creators and transmitters of our powers of body, mind, and soul. it is important that a young woman should understand her own structure and the functions of all her organs, and so, with this feeling of reverence for sex, we will begin this study. the trunk of the body is divided into three cavities; the upper or thoracic cavity contains the heart and lungs; the central or abdominal cavity contains the organs of nutrition, the stomach, liver, bowels, etc.; the lower or pelvic cavity contains two organs of elimination, the bladder and the rectum, and also the organs of reproduction, or of sex. between the outlet of bladder and bowels is the inlet to the reproductive organs. this inlet is a narrow channel called the vagina, and is about six inches in length. at the upper end is the mouth of the womb or uterus. the words mean the same, but womb is anglo-saxon and _uterus_ is latin, and as latin is the language of science, we will use that word. the uterus is the little nest or room in which the unborn baby has to live for three-fourths of a year. it is a small organ, about the size and shape of a small flattened pear. it is suspended with the small end downwards, and it is hollow. it is held in place by broad ligaments that extend outward to the sides, and by short, round ligaments from front to back. these ligaments do not hold it firmly in place, for it is necessary that it should be able to rise out of the pelvic into the abdominal cavity during pregnancy, as the baby grows too large to be contained in the small pelvic space. on the posterior sides of the two broad ligaments are two small oval organs which are called ovaries, meaning the place of the eggs. chapter xiv. becoming a woman. perhaps you will remember that i once told you that all life is from an egg, the life of the plant, the fish, the bird, the human being. in the book "what a young girl ought to know" we discussed how all life originates in an egg, and why there must needs be fathers as well as mothers. we found that some eggs were small, were laid by the mothers in various places, and then left to develop or to die. others were larger, covered with a large shell, and kept warm by the mothers sitting over them until the little ones were hatched. others were so small that they developed in the mother's body until, as living creatures, they were born into the world. this is the case with the human being. he is first an egg in the mother's ovary. when this egg has reached a certain stage of development it passes from the ovary through a tube into the uterus. if it meets there, or on its way there, the fertilizing principle of the male, it remains there and develops into the child. if it does not meet this principle, it passes out through the vagina and is lost. but the eggs, or ova--which is the latin word meaning eggs--do not begin to ripen until the girl reaches the age of thirteen or fourteen, or, in other words, until she begins to become a woman. this passing away of the ovum (singular of ova) is called ovulation, and it occurs in the woman about every twenty-eight days. the uterus is lined by a mucous membrane similar to that which lines the mouth, and at this time of ovulation this membrane becomes swollen and soft, and little hemorrhages, or bleedings, occur for three or four days, the blood passing away through the vagina. this is called menstruation. sometimes, when girls have not been told beforehand of the facts of menstruation, they become greatly frightened at seeing this blood and imagine that they have some dreadful disease. if they have no friend to whom they can speak freely they sometimes do very injudicious things in their efforts to remove that which to them seems so strange and inexplicable. i have known of girls who washed their clothes in cold water and put them on wet, and so took cold and perhaps checked the menstrual flow, and as a consequence were injured for life, or may even have died years after as a result of this unwise conduct. the girl who is wisely taught will recognize in this the outward sign of the fact that she has reached womanhood, that she has entered upon what is called the maternal period of a woman's life, the period when it is possible for her to become a mother. this does not mean that she should become a mother while so young. it only means that the sex organs are so far developed that they are beginning to take up their peculiar functions. but they are like the immature buds of the flower, and need time for a perfect development. if she understands this, and recognizes her added value to the world through the perfecting of her entire organism, she will desire to take good care of herself, and during these years of early young womanhood to develop into all that is possible of sweetness, grace, purity, and all true womanliness. girls who are not wisely taught sometimes feel that this new physical function is a vexatious hindrance to their happiness. it is often accompanied with pain, and its periodical recurrence interferes with their plans for pleasure, and they in ignorance sometimes say, rebelliously, "o, i hate being a woman!" a young woman once came to consult me professionally. she was a well-formed, good-looking girl, to all outward appearance lacking nothing in her physical make-up; but she was now twenty-two and had never menstruated, so she was aware that for some reason she was not like other girls. she came to ask me to make an examination and find out, if possible, what was wrong. she was engaged to be married, and knew that motherhood was in some way connected with menstruation, and she thought it might be possible that her physical condition would preclude the possibility of her becoming a mother, and, if so, it would be dishonorable to marry. upon examination i discovered that all the organs of reproduction were lacking. when i disclosed this fact to her she exclaimed, with sadness, "oh, why was i not made like other girls? i have heard them complain because they were girls, but i think if they were in my place, and knew that they could never have a home and children of their own, they would feel they had greater reason then to complain." i think so, too. we seldom think of the fact that upon sex depend all the sweet ties of home and family. it is because of sex that we are fathers, mothers and children; that we have the dear family life, with its anniversaries of weddings and birthdays. it is through sex that the "desolate of the earth are set in families," and love and generosity have sway instead of selfishness. for this reason we ought to regard sex with reverent thought, to hold it sacred to the highest purposes, to speak of it ever with purest delicacy, and never with jesting or prurient smiles. i do not want you to center your thought on the physical facts of sex, but i would like to have you feel that womanhood, which is the mental, moral and physical expression of sex, is a glorious, divine gift, to be received with solemn thankfulness. i want you, for the sake of a perfect womanhood, to take care of your bodily health, and yet i do not want you to feel that a woman must of necessity be a periodical semi-invalid. chapter xv. artificialities of civilized life. menstruation is a perfectly physiological process and should be without pain. indeed, dr. mary putnam jacobi maintains that a woman ought to feel more life, vigor and ambition at that period than at any other time. as a fact, however, the majority of civilized women feel more or less lassitude and discomfort, and many suffer intensely. whenever there is actual pain at any stage of the monthly period, it is because something is wrong, either in the dress, or the diet, or the personal and social habits of the individual. we certainly cannot believe that a kind and just god has made it necessary for women to suffer merely because they are women, and the observation of travelers among uncivilized peoples seems to indicate that where life is conducted according to nature's laws, the limitations of sex are less observable. it is difficult for us to understand how very far our lives are from being natural. professor emmett, a world-renowned specialist in diseases peculiar to women, says: "at the very dawn of womanhood the young girl begins to live an artificial life utterly inconsistent with normal development. the girl of the period is made a woman before her time by associating too much with her elders, and in diet, dress, habits and tastes becomes at an early age but a reflection of her elder sisters. she may have acquired every accomplishment, and yet will have been kept in ignorance of the simplest features of her organization, and of the requirements for the preservation of her health. her bloom is often as transient as that of the hothouse plant, where the flower has been forced by cultivation to an excess of development by stunting the growth of its branches and limiting the spread of its roots. a girl is scarcely in her teens before custom requires a change in her dress. her shoulder-straps and buttons are given up for a number of strings about her waist and the additional weight of an increased length in skirt is added. she is unable to take the proper kind or necessary amount of exercise, even if she were not taught that it would be unladylike to make the attempt. her waist is drawn into a shape little adapted to accommodate the organs placed there, and as the abdominal and spinal muscles are seldom brought into play they become atrophied. the viscera are thus compressed and displaced, and as the full play of the abdominal wall and the descent of the diaphragm are interfered with, the venous blood is hindered in its return to the heart." since professor emmett wrote this, public sentiment has changed, and it is no longer unladylike for girls to exercise; but with this increased freedom in custom should also come increased physical freedom through healthful clothing that allows perfect use of every muscle, more especially of the breathing muscles. i am sure you would rather pay out your money for that which shall add to your health and real happiness than to pay physicians to help you from suffering the just penalty of your own wrongdoing, and that is why i am anxious to give you this needed instruction. i do not care to have you study much about diseases, but i want you to understand very fully how, through care of yourself, to prevent disease. chapter xvi. some causes of painful menstruation. there should be no pain at menstruation, but that pain is quite common cannot be denied. let us look for other causes than are found in the dress. one frequent cause is found in the ignorance of girls, and their consequent injudicious conduct at the time of the beginning of sexual activity. at this time of life the girl is often called lazy because she manifests lassitude, and this is nature's indication that she should rest. the vital forces are busy establishing a new function, and the energy that has been expressed in bodily activity is now being otherwise employed. the girl who has been properly brought up, whose muscles are strong, and whose nervous supply is abundant, may have no need of especial care at this time, but the average girl needs much judicious care, in order that her physical womanhood shall be healthfully established. she should be guarded from taking cold, from overexertion, from social dissipation, and especially from mental excitement, and other causes of nervousness. i would like to call your attention to the great evil of romance-reading, both in the production of premature development and in the creation of morbid mental states which will tend to the production of physical evils, such as nervousness, hysteria, and a host of maladies which largely depend upon disturbed nerves. girls are not apt to understand the evils of novel-reading, and may think it is only because mothers have outlived their days of romance that they object to their daughters enjoying such sentimental reading; but the wise mother understands the effects of sensational reading upon the physical organization, and wishes to protect her daughter from the evils thus produced. it is not only that novel-reading engenders false and unreal ideas of life, but the descriptions of love-scenes, of thrilling, romantic episodes, find an echo in the girl's physical system and tend to create an abnormal excitement of her organs of sex, which she recognizes only as a pleasurable mental emotion, with no comprehension of the physical origin or the evil effects. romance-reading by young girls will, by this excitement of the bodily organs, tend to create their premature development, and the child becomes physically a woman months, or even years, before she should. in one case it became my duty to warn a girl of eleven, who was an omnivorous reader of romances, that such reading was in all probability hastening her development, and she would become a woman in bodily functions while she ought yet to be a child. her indications of approaching womanhood were very apparent. by becoming impressed by my words she gave up romance-reading, devoted herself to outdoor sports, to nature studies, and the vital forces diverted from the reproductive system were employed in building up her physical energy, her health improved, her nervousness disappeared, and three years later her function of menstruation was painlessly established. a frequent cause of painful menstruation is found in habitual neglect of the bowels. the evils of constipation are common to the majority of women and girls, and the foundation is laid in childhood. mothers are not careful enough in instructing children in the need of care in this respect, and so the habit is formed early in life, and the results are felt later. if the bowels are not evacuated regularly the matter to be cast out of the body accumulates in the rectum and large bowel, and by pressure the circulation of the blood is impeded and congestion ensues. this extends to all the pelvic organs; the uterus and ovaries thus congested will soon manifest disease, and painful menstruation be the result. one of the most frequent causes of pain is congestion produced by displacements. people are very apt to think that the displacement of the uterus is the main factor, but in my opinion it is a secondary condition, and not the one to be first considered. the uterus is a small organ, not vital to the individual, is very movable, and not sensitive, so that its displacement alone could hardly be considered sufficient to cause so great a train of evils as is frequently manifest. but the liver, stomach and bowels are large, vital organs, and their displacement leads to greater consequences. you learned at school that the bowels are over twenty feet in length, weigh as much as twelve or fifteen pounds, are supported in a way that makes it possible for them to sag into the abdominal cavity and press upon the pelvic organs. dr. emerson, of the boston school of oratory, asserts that in most adults the stomach and bowels are from two to six inches below their normal location; and, as i have said before, dr. kellogg often finds the stomach lying in the abdominal cavity as low down as the umbilicus. what has caused this sagging of the abdominal viscera? they certainly must have been intended to keep their place unless there has been some interference. we find just such interference in the ordinary arrangement of the clothing. tight waists and bands, and skirts supported by the hips, are cause sufficient for these displacements. just above the hips there is no bony structure to protect and support the soft, muscular parts. they yield to pressure, and the internal viscera, deprived of muscular support, sink until they rest on the pelvic organs. if, when you look at your abdomen, you see depressions or hollows on each side below the floating ribs, you may know that the bowels have sagged down out of place. if you feel great weariness, backache, or a dragged down feeling in standing or walking, you may know that the contents of the abdomen are pulling on their attachments or pressing on the pelvic organs. thus displaced, circulation is hindered and the organs all become congested, or filled with blood that moves very slowly. this congested condition is increased at menstruation, and great pain may result. it is well to have the counsel of some good, honest physician under such circumstances, but should you be where it is not possible to have such counsel, you may still be able to do something to help yourself. in the first place, you can rearrange your clothing so as to relieve all the organs from external weight or pressure, and, in the second place, you can support the abdominal walls by applying pressure from below. i have known cases of painful menstruation entirely relieved by simply supporting the bowels by a bandage, thus relieving the uterus of pressure and allowing a free circulation through all the internal organs. a very simple and practical bandage can be made at home at almost no cost, either in time or money. buy some thin, cheap cotton flannel. take lengthwise of the goods a strip long enough to go around the body at the hips, which will be a yard or a little over, and wide enough to fit from the thighs up to the waist, perhaps eight inches. put darts on the sides and in the center of the back, to make it fit the figure. make a couple of straps four inches wide and half a yard long; cut off one end of each diagonally. sew these slanting ends to the lower side of the band about four inches from the center, that is eight inches apart, and so that the short side of the strap will be towards the center. do not hem either band or straps, but overcast them; then they will not feel uncomfortable. in order to adjust the band properly it will be well to lie down on the back upon the bandage with the knees raised. press the hands low down upon the abdomen and raise the contents. repeat this several times; then draw the bandage around, pin with safety pins, draw the straps up between the limbs and fasten with safety pins to the bandage. the support thus given is found to be very comfortable, and girls who have much trouble in walking or standing during their menstrual periods would find this simple bandage a great help at that time. when the bandage is removed at night you should rub and manipulate the abdominal walls so as to increase the circulation and stimulate in them a better circulation and thus make you stronger. by deep breathing in a proper standing attitude the abdominal viscera are lifted upward, and if the firmness of the abdominal walls is at the same time increased by exercise, the difficulties may be largely overcome. some exercises will be found in chapter xxiii. which are calculated to strengthen the walls and to lift the internal organs. i wish to call your attention to a cause of displacement that is quite generally overlooked, and that is, a wrong attitude. dr. eliza mosher has made a very thorough study of this matter, and she says that the common habit of standing on one foot is productive of marked deformities of both face and body and of serious displacements of internal organs. it is seldom a girl or woman can be found whose body is perfectly symmetrical. by standing on one foot, the hip and shoulder of one side approach each other, and so lessen the space within the abdomen on that side. on the other side a support has been removed for the contents of the abdomen, and they sag down until they pry the uterus out of place and press it over towards the side where there is less pressure. the broad ligament on one side is stretched from use and on the other side shortened from disuse, and so the uterus remains permanently dislocated. dr. mosher thinks that standing continually with the weight on the left foot is more injurious than bearing it on the right foot, for it causes the uterus and ovaries to press upon the rectum and so produces a mechanical constipation, especially during menstruation. wrong habits of sitting will produce the same results. if the girl sits at school with one elbow on the desk, the head will be turned to the opposite side and the spine will be inclined from the perpendicular, and a lateral curvature be likely to result. if she carries her books always on the same side, it will tend to increase the curvature. if she sits with both elbows supported, her shoulders will be pushed up. if her body is twisted as she sits, a strain comes upon the muscles, and some ligaments will be lengthened and others shortened, thus producing a lateral curvature. to sit "on the small of the back," that is, slipping down in the chair, bracing the shoulders against the chair-back, tends to injure the nerves by pressure, and also to create a posterior curvature of the spine. does it not seem unfortunate that we should allow ourselves even to form such wrong habits of sitting and standing? and now we ask, how shall we know when we are in a correct attitude? we have comparatively few correct examples to imitate. i notice people everywhere, and i see that old and young stand incorrectly. the head is poked forward, the shoulders are rounded, the chest is flattened, and the curve in the lower part of the back is straightened. the whole figure is out of balance, and therefore not harmonious. not only is the beauty of the figure destroyed, but the internal organs are displaced. many a mother who sees her daughter thus growing round-shouldered keeps telling her to throw her shoulders back; but to follow this command only increases the difficulty. the shoulders are not primarily at fault, but the trouble originates in non-use of the front waist muscles. these muscles, weakened by disease because of tight clothing and corset steels, and also by cramped positions in school or at work, refuse to hold the body erect, and it "lops" just at this point. this "lopping" disturbs the harmonious relation of the weights of shoulders, abdomen, head, and the large lower gluteal muscles with which nature has cushioned the lower part of the body, and so they are obliged to readjust themselves to balance each other, and the awkward, ungainly, unhealthful posture results. what is needed is to restore the right relation of these weights and all will again be harmonious. do not interfere with the shoulders, but straighten the front of the body by elevating the chest and raising the head until it is supported directly on the spine, letting the shoulders take care of themselves. if the abdomen is now held back and the gluteal muscles raised, the beautiful curves of the spine will be restored, the shoulders will be straightened, and the internal organs will have a chance to resume their natural position. a very easy way of finding out if you have the correct attitude is to place your toes against the bottom of the door. now bring your chest up to touch the door, and throw the lower part of the spine backward so that there will be a space between the abdomen and the door. place the head erect, with the chin drawn in towards the neck, and you will have very nearly the correct attitude. it may seem a little tiresome at first, because you will be apt to hold yourself in position with needless tension of muscles, but you will soon learn to relax the unnecessary tension, and then you will find the position the most comfortable possible. you can walk farther without fatigue, and stand longer without backache, because the body is placed in the attitude in which all parts occupy their designed relation to each other. one very important fact is that in the wrong attitude the abdominal organs crowd down into the pelvis, while in the correct position they are supported and kept from sagging, so that the matter of a correct attitude is not only a matter of beauty, but also of health. in sitting, also, the most comfortable posture is the most healthful; that is, with the body squarely placed on the seat, and equally supported upon the pelvis--not leaning back against the chair, unless the chair should chance to be so constructed that it supports the lower part of the back and keeps the body erect. chapter xvii. "female diseases." we hear a great deal in these days of "female diseases," by which is meant the displacements of the organs of the reproductive system; that is, of the uterus, ovaries, etc. these displacements are many, for the uterus may not only drop down out of place, but it may be tipped towards one side or the other, to the front or the back; or it may be bent upon itself in various directions. these different displacements cause much pain, and often result in ulcerations and profuse discharges which are known as the "whites," or scientifically as leucorrhea. i only mention these things incidentally, so that i may call your attention to the things you may do to prevent them. a great many girls and women are spending large sums of money in being doctored for these difficulties who need not suffer with them at all if they had known how to dress healthfully; and many are bearing much anxiety over the possibility of becoming sufferers with these distressing diseases who could have their burden of fear removed by the knowledge that "female diseases," in the great majority of cases, are the results of wrong habits of dress and life. leucorrhea is not a disease. it is a symptom of abnormal conditions, and to be cured it is needful that the conditions shall be understood. dr. kellogg says, "leucorrhea may result from simple congestion of the bloodvessels of the vaginal mucous membrane, due to improper dress. it may also be occasioned by taking cold, and by a debilitated condition of the stomach." leucorrhea is merely an abnormal increase of a normal secretion. all mucous membrane secretes mucus in small quantities--enough to keep the membrane moist. when from any cause this secretion is increased, we have what is called a catarrhal condition. as all cavities that communicate with the air are lined with mucous membrane, this catarrhal condition may exist in the nose, the throat, the eyes, the ears, the bowels, or the reproductive organs, and will be named according to the location. a natural increase of this secretion takes place just before and after menstruation, and should occasion no anxiety, but if continued during the remainder of the month, especially if very profuse, of offensive odor, or bloody in character, it needs the attention of the skilled physician. i do not wish to make you think constantly of yourself as diseased, and so i do not give you directions as to local self-treatment. many symptoms can be overcome by general care of the health-habits of the girl, and if they do not yield to this general care it is better to consult a responsible physician than to tamper with yourself. and here let me give you a word of warning. if you need medical care, never consult the traveling doctors who advertise to do such wonderful things. they charge big fees and give a little medicine and then move on, and you have no redress if they have not accomplished all that they have promised. they live off the gullibility of people. again, never take patent medicines. wonderful discoveries, favorite prescriptions and the like may be harmless, and they may not. and even if they are, how can you judge that they are suited to your special case? that they cured some one else is not proof that they will benefit you, and you run a risk by taking them as an experiment. one very serious danger in the taking of patent medicines is the fact that they are so largely alcoholic in composition, and girls and women have all too often been led into the alcohol habit and become habitual drunkards through taking some advertised remedy. another has correctly said: "if you need the consultation and advice of a physician go to your family physician, or, if you prefer, go to some other physician; but always select one whose moral character and acknowledged ability render him a suitable and safe adviser in such a time of need. above all things avoid quacks. the policy they pursue is to frighten you, to work upon your imagination, and to make such alarming and unreliable statements as will induce you to purchase their nostrums and subject yourself to such a series of humiliations and impositions as will enable them to pilfer your purse and without rendering you in return any value received, but likely leave you in a much worse condition than they found you." you will probably be advised by your personal friends, who may know of your ailments, to take hot douches, and perhaps you may wonder why i do not prescribe them for leucorrhea, and kindred difficulties. i do not commend them for the fact that i do not want you to be turning your constantly anxious thought towards yourself in these matters. if you need such treatment, let it be prescribed by your physician, who knows exactly your condition. as far as possible turn your thoughts from the reproductive system. take care of your general health, dress properly, obey all the rules of hygiene in regard to diet, sleep, bathing, special cleanliness, and care, and then forget as far as possible the physical facts of womanhood. an excellent addition to your general bathing can be taken once a week in the form of a sitz bath, which is effective for cleanliness, and also for the reduction of congestion. if you have no sitz bath-tub, an ordinary wash-tub can be made to answer by raising one side an inch or two by means of some support. have the water at a comfortable temperature, say about degrees, and if you have no thermometer you can gauge the heat by putting in three gallons of cold water and add one gallon of boiling water. sit down in the tub and cover yourself with a blanket. in about ten minutes add by degrees a gallon of cold water. remain sitting a minute or two longer, then rub dry. many people are afraid to use cold water after hot, in bathing, for fear they will take cold, but that is just the way to prevent such a result from the hot bath. the hot water has caused all the pores on the surface of the body to open, and the bodily heat is rapidly lost through this cause. the cold water, quickly applied, causes the pores to close, leaves the skin in a tonic condition, and conserves the bodily heat. one should never take a hot bath without following it with a _quick_ cold application to the surface. it should continue, however, but for a moment. this kind of a bath is very useful for all chronic congestions of the abdominal and pelvic viscera, such as piles, constipation, painful menstruation, leucorrhea, or other affections of the reproductive organs. it is also very helpful in headaches due to congestion of the brain. if there is too little blood in the brain it might produce wakefulness, but when the brain is too full of blood this bath tends to produce sound and refreshing sleep. a foot bath may be taken at the same time as the sitz bath, and in this case the water should be warmer than that in the sitz bath, and as the person rises from the sitz bath she should step into it, so that her feet will get the tonic effect of the cold water. the average age at which menstruation first appears is fourteen, but some girls menstruate as early as eleven, while others may not develop till some years later. frequently, when the girl does not manifest this symptom of womanly development, the mother becomes anxious and begins to give forcing medicines. she knows that girls often die with consumption in their early young womanhood, and has heard that it was because they did not physically develop, and she fears that such danger threatens her daughter, and imagines that if something can be done to "bring on her courses," as she expresses it, the danger will be averted. in this case she has reversed cause and effect. the consumptive girl did not menstruate because she had not the vitality to do so. the consumption was the cause, the non-menstruation the effect. to produce hemorrhage from the reproductive system by strong, forcing medicines is only to increase the danger. the only thing to do is to improve the general health, and if the girl can increase in strength until she has more vital force than suffices to keep her alive, the function that is vital--not to her, but to the race--will establish itself. the failure of the menses to appear at the average age may be due merely to a slow development, and in this case there is nothing to do but wait. if the girl seems well, if she has no backache, no headache, no general lassitude, no undue nervous symptoms, the mere non-appearance of the menses need occasion no alarm. if, however, she has these symptoms, it is an evidence that nature is attempting to establish the function and is hindered either by general lack of vitality or by some local condition, and in either case the giving of forcing medicines would be a mistake. the weekly sitz bath would do no harm as a semi-local measure. all proper precautions should be observed as to maintenance of general health and mental serenity, and if these do not prove sufficient the physician should be consulted. in the case i mentioned, where the reproductive organs were lacking, the girl had been subjected to a long course of home medication which had proven disastrous to her digestion, and yet, as will be readily understood, had not resulted in the establishment of a function that is dependent upon organs which, in this case, did not exist. sometimes there are slight mechanical hindrances which can only be determined by the physician, though their presence will be indicated by the symptoms of menstruation without the accompanying sanguineous discharge. in these cases the home medication is dangerous. if the girl regularly has symptoms of approaching menstruation, with pain and bloating, and these subside without flow, it would be wise to consult the physician instead of resorting to domestic remedies or letting the matter go on without attention. quite frequently the first appearance of menstruation is followed by weeks or even months of freedom from its reappearance. in these cases no alarm need be felt as long as the general health is not affected. again, there may be suspension of the function from change of surroundings. girls who go away to school often suffer from irregularity. i have known of a case where the girl never menstruated during the school year, but was perfectly regular during vacations. these cases may be accounted for by the nervous strain, the using up of vital forces in mental effort to such degree that there is nothing left with which to carry on the menstrual function. in all such cases it is wise to watch carefully the general health, and if all functions are not properly conducted, to reduce the strain until the vitality is able to keep all functions in order. girls are sometimes disturbed because the flow is scanty, and think they should do something to increase the amount. it is no doubt true that profuse menstrual flow is the result of our artificial lives. if we lived more normally we should have naturally a scanty menstrual flow. therefore if a girl has good health and no monthly pain and the flow is scanty, she may consider herself as more nearly in a normal state, and be thankful. if, however, the menses are suddenly less than normal it denotes a suppression, which may be the result of cold, exhaustion of body, weariness of nerves, mental anxiety, or disturbance of the emotions. if gradual suppression occurs, accompanied by loss of health, it indicates some constitutional difficulty or local trouble which demands professional counsel. profuse menstruation is also a relative term, as there is no definite standard as to amount of menstrual flow, nor the length of time it should continue. the profuseness must be measured by the condition of the individual. where health seems fully maintained there would appear no cause for anxiety. but if there is a marked increase over the amount usual for the individual, if great weakness and prostration is produced, either at the time or afterward, it may be called profuse, and the cause may be either debility, that is weakness, or plethora, which means fullness. if from the latter, there will be throbbing headache, pain in the back, and general signs of fever. if from debility, there will be pallor, weakness, and perhaps an almost continuous flow. as may be imagined, the treatment in the two cases will differ. the full-blooded girl should be put on a plain, unstimulating diet, with plenty of out-door exercise during the month, but about twenty-four hours before the flow is expected she should have complete mental and physical rest. she should remain in bed, and apply cold wet cloths over the abdomen and between the thighs for an hour at a time, with intervals of at least one-half hour between the applications. the bowels should be freed from all fecal matter, and cool, small enemas be given two or three times a day. if these simple measures do not avail, the doctor should be consulted. the pale and debilitated girl needs to rest. sometimes, if hemorrhage continues almost from one period to the next, she should remain in bed even after the flow seems checked. the great desideratum is to build up the general health, not by tonics, which are usually only stimulants, but by the judicious observance of the laws of health. this will, in many cases, call for the advice of the physician, who can see and study the patient and her special conditions. it is not safe to trust to book-doctoring. chapter xviii. care during menstruation. i have said that i do not want you to think yourself a semi-invalid and so be "fussy" about yourself, but i have also said that i want you to take care of yourself at all times, and especially during your menstrual periods. how can you make these ideas agree with each other? i know that many writers say that a girl should spend one day each month in bed, or at least lying down; that there are some things that should always be forbidden to girls, simply because they are girls, such as running up and down stairs. these wholesale restrictions make girls rebellious at their womanhood. i simply want you to use good sense at all times in your care of yourself. knowing the fact that just before and during menstruation the uterus is heavier than at other times, because engorged with blood, and remembering that it is loosely suspended, it is easy to understand that long walks or severe exercise at the menstrual period will more easily cause it to sag, and this sagging becoming permanent may cause pain, backache, and other discomforts. therefore, having good sense, you will not plan to take long rides or walks or do any severe exercise. at the same time moderate exercise in proper clothing will tend to relieve pelvic congestion by equalizing the circulation, and if the clothing is properly adjusted and the muscles are strong and well-developed, an ordinary amount of physical activity may be beneficial rather than harmful. girls are so often told that they must not walk at their monthly periods, must not study, must not ride, etc., etc., that it really is no wonder that they feel it a very undesirable thing to be a woman. my observation leads me to believe that if girls from earliest childhood were dressed loosely, with no clothing suspended on the hips, if their muscles were well developed through judicious exercise, they would seldom find it necessary to be semi-invalids at any time. in fact, we do sometimes find a young woman who has no consciousness of physical disturbance during menstruation. she can pursue her usual avocations without hindrance, and finds her physical womanhood no bar to any enjoyment. this is as it should be; but as girls have not all been well developed and properly dressed, we cannot assert that all girls can be indifferent to physical conditions at this time. if a girl is well, has no pain or discomfort, then i would say, let her use good common sense in the ordering of her daily life and give the matter no special or anxious thought. if she has pain or uneasiness, let her govern her life accordingly, using care, taking some rest at the time of the menses; but, above all things, let her arrange her clothing at all times so as to secure for herself absolute freedom of movement. then let her, during the intervals between the menstrual periods, endeavor by judicious exercise to build up strong muscular structure around the vital organs, such structure as will support the _viscera_ where they belong, and in time she will probably find herself growing free from menstrual pain. during the painful periods resulting from congestion it is often advisable to keep the recumbent position, and to use heat both externally and internally. however, i would advise never using alcoholic beverages. their apparent usefulness lies principally in the hot water with which they are administered, and the danger of forming the alcohol habit is too great to justify their use. there are cases of nervous pain at menstruation that are aggravated by heat and diminished by cold. i knew such a case where a girl at school, suffering with menstrual pain, alarmed teachers and friends by wringing towels out of cold water and laying them over her abdomen. but the alarm subsided when they saw that the pain soon passed away under the cold application. the girl was one in whom there were no local congestions, but great nervous exhaustion and heat always increased her sufferings, while cold allayed. i have read that a woman should not bathe or change her underwear while menstruating. i cannot see how soiled clothing can be more healthful than that which is clean; and if well-aired, i should no more object to your putting on clean underwear than to your changing your dress. most especially would i advise a frequent change of napkins, in order to remove those which are soiled from their irritating contact with the body. a full bath during menstruation would, for most people, be unadvisable, but the cleansing of the private parts is imperative. for this, tepid water, with good soap, may be used daily or oftener. other parts of the body may be rubbed with a wet cloth, followed by vigorous, dry rubbing. cleanliness at all times is certainly a mark of refinement. you should use good sense and not run out in thin slippers on wet or cold ground; but if your feet get wet through accident, keep in motion until you can make a change of shoes and stockings. there is little danger from wet feet to those in good health, if they keep in vigorous motion. as to other rules, they are those that pertain to the care of health at all times: loose clothing, deep breathing, wholesome food, plenty of sleep, sunlight, pure air, exercise according to your strength, and, above all, serenity of mind, accepting the fact of physical womanhood, together with a recognition of its sacredness and dignity. as a minor item, i would suggest that the napkins be fastened to straps that go over the shoulder and are then joined together in front and back to an end piece, on each of which a button is sewn. buttonholes in the napkins at the corners, diagonal from each other, will make them easily attached or removed. the napkins should be of a material that is quickly absorbent of the flow. cheesecloth is cheap, and can be burned or otherwise disposed of after using. it may be protected by an outer strip of unbleached muslin which is almost water-proof. a very comfortable way of arranging napkins that are to be used from time to time is to take a piece of linen or cotton diaper sixteen inches square. about three inches from one end, make on each side an incision four inches long. fold this strip in the middle lengthwise, and sew together up to the end of the incisions. this makes a band with a sort of pocket in the middle. hem the cut edges. fold the napkin over, four inches on each side, that is as deep as the incisions. then fold crosswise until you can enclose the whole in the pocket in the band. this makes a thick center and thin ends by which to attach the napkin to the suspender. i hold that mental serenity is one of the essentials of healthful menstrual periods, and this cannot be had if the mind is continually troubled and the thought centered on the physical condition. i would be glad to have your mind freed from the ideas of sex matters as far as possible. it is a scientific fact that thinking continually of an organ tends to disturb that organ. i know a man who was so afraid of heart disease that he felt of his pulse every few minutes and kept a stethoscope on the head of his bed to listen to his heart in the night. i would have been surprised had he not had heart trouble. chapter xix. solitary vice. as the reproductive system awakens to activity it naturally attracts the attention of the girl, and an effort should be made to call her thoughts to other themes. as i have said before, the reading of sensational love stories is most detrimental. the descriptions of passionate love scenes arouse in the reader a thrill through her own sexual organism that tends to increase its activity and derange its normal state. girls often mature into women earlier than they should, because through romances, through jests of associates in regard to beaus and lovers, and through indulgence in sentimental fancies their sexual systems are unduly stimulated and aroused. this stimulation sometimes leads to the formation of an evil habit, known as self-abuse. the stimulation of the sex organs is accompanied with a pleasurable sensation, and this excitement may be created by mechanical means, or even by thought. many girls who are victims of this most injurious habit are unaware of its dangers, although they instinctively feel that they do not want it known. others who would not stoop to a mechanical exciting of themselves do so through thoughts, and do not know that they are just as truly guilty of self-abuse as the girl who uses the hand or other mechanical means. the results of self-abuse are most disastrous. it destroys mental power and memory, it blotches the complexion, dulls the eye, takes away the strength, and may even cause insanity. it is a habit most difficult to overcome, and may not only last for years, but in its tendency be transmitted to one's children. if you have from the first thought nobly of yourself, you will have fallen into no such debasing habit. but if, through ignorance, you have acquired it, how shall you overcome it? i should hesitate to write more on this subject did i not know that many girls fall victims to this evil through ignorance, and many who thus fall could and would have been saved had they been rightly instructed. i therefore desire that you shall be wise. every normal function of the body is attended with a pleasurable sensation. we enjoy eating, seeing, walking. odors bring sensations which are agreeable, the sense of touch may give pleasure, and as we enjoy these sensations in fact, so we may enjoy them in memory or in imagination. we can recall the beauty of the rose, the perfume of the mignonette, the flavor of the orange, or we can imagine new combinations of these delights. we feel joy or grief through reading vivid descriptions, or we can ourselves create imaginary scenes in which we are actors, who suffer or enjoy. the reproductive system is the seat of great nervous susceptibility, and the excitation of these nerves gives a pleasurable sensation. this excitation may be thought a local mechanical irritation or it may be mental. in little children it may be caused by lack of cleanliness of the external organs. an irritation is produced, and an attempt to allay this by rubbing produces an agreeable feeling, which may be repeated until the evil habit of self-abuse is formed. sometimes constipation, by creating a pelvic congestion, will have the same result. sometimes clothing which is too small may, by undue pressure on the parts, call the thought of the child to these organs, and in an attempt to remove the pressure by pulling the clothing away the habit may be begun. sometimes the tiny pin-worms in the rectum may wander into the vagina, and the little girl feel a constant annoyance, which rubbing allays temporarily, but which results in the evil habit of the use of the hands to produce an agreeable sensation. thus through avoidable causes the evil habit may be acquired. then it may be taught by one thus learning it to another who, without this instruction, would never have acquired it. but new dangers arise as the girl approaches the age when the reproductive system begins to take on the activity that indicates approaching womanhood. the normal congestion of the parts causes a hitherto unknown consciousness of sex, and unless she is warned she may at this period acquire the habit without knowing its evils. all functions necessary to the preservation of the individual life are attended with pleasure, and so are those which are for the continuation of the species. while the emotion may be pleasurable, it is at the same time the most exhausting, that can be experienced. we see that in some forms of animal existence parenthood is purchased at the expense of the life of the parent; and while in the human being the procreative act does not kill, it exhausts, and no doubt takes from the vital force of those exercising it. one can feel justified to lose a part of her own life if she is conferring life upon others, but to indulge in such a waste of vital force merely for pleasure is certainly never excusable, and least excusable of all is the arousing of pleasurable emotions by a direct violation of natural law. the only natural method of arousing a recognition of sexual feeling is as god has appointed in holy marriage, and the self-respecting girl feels that no approach of personal familiarity is either right or proper. but it may be that she does not know that feelings may be awakened by the imagination which are as wrong morally as, and more injurious physically than, actual deeds, and so may allow her mind to revel in fancies that would shock her as actualities. i received a letter not long ago from a young woman who most emphatically asserted that she would never, never, never permit familiarities, and then most innocently says, "but it wouldn't be wrong to imagine yourself enjoying the embrace of some certain one, would it?" it is just this idea that there is no wrong in thought that weakens virtue's fortress and renders it easily demolished. girls who would shrink from use of mechanical means to arouse sexual desire will permit themselves to revel in imaginary scenes of love-making with real or unreal individuals, or in mental pictures which arouse the spasmodic feelings of sexual pleasure, and yet be unaware that they are guilty of self-abuse. sexual feeling in itself is not base, but it can be debased either in thought or in deed. rightly considered, it is the indication of the possession of the most sacred powers, that of the perpetuation of life. "passion is the instinct for preservation of one's kind, the voice of the life principle, the sign of creative power." these last four words open before us a wonderful field of thought. "creative power!" what does that mean? is creative power limited to reproduction of kind? do you not create when you work out with brain some idea and then embody it in some visible form? worth is said to create an artistic dress, the actor creates his part in the play, the musician creates the arrangement of harmonies which are represented in musical signs, and in the same sense you may be in a myriad of ways a creator. with the beginning of activity of sexual life in yourself came increased development and new energy, beauty, and power, and the preservation and right use of that life will continue to be a source of power. "when the signs of this creative power come throbbing and pulsing in every fiber, it only shows that one has more and greater ability to create than ever before. one knows by this that she can now do greater work than she has done or is doing;" so says one writer. is it not a beautiful thought that this feeling, which we have supposed we must fight as something low, is in reality the stirring of a divine impulse which we can control and govern and make to serve us in all high and noble deeds? if you hold such noble thoughts in your heart concerning yourself, you will need no threatenings to keep you from self-debasement and self-defilement. you will not need to be told of the loss of physical strength or of beauty, of memory or of reason, through evil habits of solitary vice, for they will have no temptation for you, even as you do not need threats of police and prisons to keep you from stealing, because honesty is the active and guiding principle of your life. but supposing you have already acquired the evil habit and are now awakened to the wrong you are doing yourself; you observe the lack of lustre in the eye, the sallow, blotched complexion; you realize your loss of nerve-power manifested in cold and clammy hands, backache, lassitude, irritability, lack of memory, and inability to concentrate thought. what shall you do to overcome and to gain control of yourself? the question is a serious one, for no habit is more tyrannical than the dominion of unrestrained sexual desire. its victims often fight for years, only to be conquered at last. if there was no cure but in fighting, i should feel that the case was almost hopeless. the very first thing to do is to change the mental attitude in regard to the whole matter of sex; to hold it in thought as sacred, holy, consecrated to the highest of all functions, that of procreation. recognize that, conserved and controlled, it becomes a source of energy to the individual. cleanse the mind of all polluting images by substituting this purer thought; then go to work to establish correct habits of living in dress, diet, exercise, etc. see to it that there are no such causes of pelvic congestions as prolapsed bowels, caused by tight clothing or constipation; keep the skin active; and, above all, keep the mind healthfully occupied. the victim of self-abuse has, through the frequent repetition of the habit, built up an undue amount of brain that is sensitive to local irritation of the sex-organs or to mental pictures of sex-pleasure. she must now allow this part of the brain to become quiescent, and she should go to work to build up other brain centers. let her train her sight by close observation of form, color, size, location. let her cultivate her sense of hearing in the study of different qualities of sound, tone, pitch, intensity, duration, timbre; her sense of touch, by learning to judge with closed eyes of different materials, of quality of fiber, of the different degrees of temperature, of roughness or smoothness, of density; in fact, let her endeavor to become alert, observant, along all the lines of sense-perception. let her study nature, leaf-forms, cloud-shapes, insects, flowers, birds, bird-songs, the causes of natural phenomena; and, above all, let her keep out of the realm of the artificial, the sentimental, the emotional, and, holding firmly to the thought that creative energy is symbolized by desire and can be dignified and consecrated to noblest purposes, she will find herself daily growing into a stronger, more beautiful self-control. chapter xx. be good to yourself. i witnessed the other day a parting between two men. the elder, as he took the younger by the hand, said, "good-by, my boy; be good to yourself;" and the younger responded, heartily, "oh, there is no danger but i'll be that." i wondered, as i saw the laughing face, so full of the indications of the love of pleasure, if he really would be good to himself, or if he would interpret it to mean to indulge himself in all kinds of sensuous gratification. it is a great thing to be truly good to one's self, and i would give the injunction with the highest ideal. be good to your real self with that true goodness that sees the end from the beginning, that realizes the tendency of certain forms of pleasure, and that claims the privilege of being master of the senses, and not their slave. "well," you say, rather deprecatingly, "you can't expect young people to act as staid and wise as you old folks. we want some fun." so you do, and that is perfectly right. you should want fun and have fun. all i ask is that you shall try to understand what real, true fun is. i have seen young folks pull the chair from under some one "for fun," and the result was pain and perhaps permanent injury to the object of the joke. i have known young men to imagine they were having "fun" when they went on a spree, to get "gloriously drunk," as they phrased it. you can see no fun in this. you realize that it is a most serious tragedy, with not an element of real fun in it, involving, as it does, the loss of health, the risking of life, the possibility of crime, the heart-break of friends, and perhaps even death. it is altogether a wrong idea of fun. i have known girls in the secrecy of their rooms to smoke cigarettes "for fun," and in that i am sure that you see no amusement. it was a lowering of the standard of womanhood; it was tampering with a poison; it was something to be ashamed of, rather than something to call fun. i have known young men and women to enter into flirtations "for fun." i knew a girl whose chief delight seemed to be in getting young men in love with her, only to cast them aside when tired of their adoration. she called this fun, but it was cruelty. in olden times men amused themselves by throwing christians to wild beasts and watching them while being torn to pieces. this was their idea of fun, and the flirt's idea of amusement seems to be of the same order. she plays with the man as the cat with the mouse, and experiences no pangs of conscience when, torn and bleeding in heart, she tosses him aside for a new victim. there are other young people who would not enter into such serious flirtations, and yet are unduly familiar with each other. they mean nothing by their endearments and familiarities, and neither will suffer any pangs when the pleasant intimacy is ended. can we not call this innocent fun? they have indulged in some unobserved hand-pressures, or a few stolen kisses; but neither believed the other to mean anything serious. it was only fun; what harm could there be in that? many girls to-day are reasoning thus, and many of these may pass through the experience without loss of reputation; they may subsequently marry honorably, and become respected and beloved mothers. but ask any of these girls, in her mature years, when her own daughters are growing up around her, if she wants them to pass through the same experiences. i once knew a beautiful young woman who thought it was fun to have these familiar intimacies with young men, because, as she said, she knew how far to go. i saw her in her maturity, with daughters of her own, and heard her say that when she recalled her own girlish escapades, even in the darkness of the night the blushes would rush over her from head to foot, and in heartfelt agony she would say to herself, "oh, i wonder if my girls will ever do so?" it was fun to her in her girlhood; it was shame to her in her mature remembrance; it was agony when she saw it possible to her own children. true fun is fun in anticipation, fun in realization, fun in retrospection, and fun in seeing it repeated by succeeding generations. if it fails to be fun in any of these instances, it fails to be genuine. i like to see young people full of vivacity. i like to hear their merry laughter, to witness their innocent pranks; but i do not like to see them laughing at the sufferings of others, or amusing themselves with dangers of any kind. above all, i regret to see them playing with the fire of physical passion. many a girl who to-day is lost to virtue had no idea that she was starting on this downward road. she was only having a good time. she was pretty, attractive, and admired. young men flattered her with words, and when they held her hand, or put their arm around her, she took it as another compliment to her charms. she did not see that it was only selfishness, only a desire to feel the thrills of physical pleasure which this contact with her person aroused. she would have felt humiliated had she recognized this fact, and it seems to me that girls should understand the feelings that prompt young men to take personal familiarities. the young man might deny the fact to the girl, but he understands it well enough as a fact, and he loses a measure of respect for her because she is willing to permit his advances. the girl no doubt imagines that these are sweet little secrets between herself and the young man, when perhaps he is discussing her openly with his young men friends. i have even heard such discussions on railway trains, carried on in no very low tones, between young men, well dressed and with all the outward appearances of gentlemen, and i have wondered how jennie and sadie and clara and nellie, whose names i heard openly mentioned, would have felt to have heard themselves described as "a nice, soft little thing to hug," or "she knows how to kiss." do you imagine these young men would have thus spoken had they truly respected the girls? they might say "they are nice girls," but would they say, in their deeper consciousness, "they are true, self-respecting, womanly girls, and i honor them?" "but what is a girl to do?" asks one. "if she is prudish she won't get any attention. she has to allow a certain innocent freedom, or young men won't go with her." do you really believe that, dear girl? let me tell you what young men have said to me. said one, "o, we have to be familiar with the girls. they all expect it, and would be offended if we were just friendly and manifested no familiarities." do you suppose girls ever thought of the possibility of the young men saying that? when they are pleading for permission to be familiar they do sometimes say, "why, all the girls allow it," but they also add, "so there can be no harm;" while among themselves they are laughing at the credulity of the girls, or accusing them of making it necessary for the young men to take "innocent" liberties in order to have the good will of the girls. a young man may assure you most emphatically that he respects you none the less, although you allow him to hold your hand or kiss you at parting, but he knows it is not true, and he will admit it to others rather than to the girl herself. truthful young men say, "of course, we have the most respect for the girls who keep us at a distance." "but they won't pay us attention," say the girls. "is that so?" i asked of a young man. "are you more earnest in pursuit of the girl who courts approaches, or the girl who holds you at bay?" "why!" responded he, with emphasis, "the girls ought to know that a boy wants most that which is hardest to get; but we are actually obliged to treat the girls with familiarity or they won't go with us." and this young man seemed really surprised when i assured him that girls supposed they were obliged to accept caresses in order to have the attention of young men. then this same young man spoke of something that i know to be too often true. he said, "it is strange, if the girls don't want these things, that they act as they do, for they actually invite familiarity. in fact, many times i would have been glad to be respectfully friendly, but the girls did not seem satisfied, and by many little ways and manners they indicated that they were ready to be caressed. i think they mean to be good girls, but they put an awful lot of temptation in a fellow's way." no doubt these girls did not realize what they were doing, but i believe every young woman should have so clear an understanding of human nature as to know that she is playing with a dangerous fire when she allows caresses and unbecoming familiarity. she ought to know that, while she may hold herself above criminal deeds, if she permits fondlings and caresses she may be directly responsible for arousing a passion in the young man that may lead him to go out from her presence and seek the company of dissolute women, and thus lose his honor and purity because a girl who called herself virtuous tempted him. is she in truth more honorable than the outcast woman? she has allowed familiarities in the matter of embraces and kisses, and she may not know what thoughts have been inspired in the mind of the young man by her unguarded conduct. she may feel indignant at the suggestion, because she has meant no harm, but in reality she should blush that her own familiar conduct has given him a tacit right to think of her with even greater freedom. girls have a wonderful responsibility in regard even to the moral conduct of young men, and the self-respecting girl will guard herself not only from the contamination of touch, but from an undue freedom of thought. do you say she cannot govern the thoughts of men? i reply, she can to a great extent. by a dress that exposes her person to public gaze, or even more seductively hides it under a film of suggestive lace, she has given a direction to the thoughts of those who look at her. she has declared that their eyes may touch her, that their thoughts may be occupied with an inventory of her physical charms. she has openly announced that she is willing to be appraised by eyes of men as a beautiful animal. what wonder if their thoughts go further than her public declaration, and that they may freely surmise the charms that still remain hidden? when a girl, by putting herself into graceful attitudes in tempting nearness to a young man, casts coquettish glances, she has done that which will give a turn to the thought which may prove provocative of deeds. "i am afraid of that girl," said a young man who desired to live purely. "may be she does not mean it, but her poses and glances make it almost impossible for me to keep my hands off of her. i am obliged to leave her for fear that i shall kiss her when she looks so mischievously alluring." the girl, perhaps, would have been flattered by the kiss and indignant at further liberties, yet would have felt no compunctions had her victim been inflamed by a passion that he lacked the power to control, prompting him to seek some other girl to be his prey. you think men should have self-control. so they should. we will not lessen the blame of the young man, but the girl who puts the temptation in his way, even if she did not herself yield to it, is not guiltless. the conduct of a pure woman should be the safeguard and not the destruction of a man, and she can be his protector, even as he is hers. i heard an eminent woman say that woman was man's moral protector, and man woman's physical protector, and i said that is only half true. man is also woman's moral protector, and woman is also man's physical protector. she is acknowledged to be his physical tempter. if she knows her power she can, by her wise, modest, womanly demeanor, make it impossible for him to feel an impure impulse in her presence. ruskin says: "you cannot think that the buckling on of the knight's armor by his lady's hand was a mere caprice of romantic fashion. it is the type of an eternal truth--that the soul's armor is never well set to the heart unless a woman's hand has braced it; and it is only when she braces it loosely that the honor of manhood fails. know you not those lovely lines--i would they were learned by all youthful ladies of england-- "'ah wasteful woman! she who may on her sweet self set her own price, knowing he cannot choose but pay-- how has she cheapen'd paradise! how given for nought her priceless gift, how spoiled the bread and spill'd the wine, which, spent with due, respective thrift, had made brutes men, and men divine!'" chapter xxi. friendship between boys and girls. you might like to know, dear reader, if i do not believe in some intermediate relation between that of the comrade and the lover--a more intimate relation than the one and less intimate than the other. you ask, cannot a young man and a young woman be real, true friends? let us talk a little about friendship and what it implies. i should define a friend as one who believes in me, who expects much of me, who encourages me to do the best that is in me, who will tell me of my faults, who recognizes my virtues, who trusts in my honor. you are willing to accept that definition, and you think it possible to be all that to each other without being lovers. i believe it, too, but i would like to make some further statements before we have the discussion of this question. i believe that a girl's first and best friends are her parents; her wisest _confidante_, her mother. to these she may speak unreservedly of herself. with these she may freely talk over family matters. in a friendship with some outside the family it would be unwise to discuss family matters. it might be an unkindness to other members of the family, and in case of a break in the friendship the family secrets might be betrayed, and to the detriment of the trusting friend. i once read of such an affair, where one girl had confided to another certain matters that reflected on the honor of her family, and when the friendship was broken the secret was betrayed, to the public shame of the girl who had been unwise in her confidences. true honor would forbid the betrayal of a confidence even after the rupture of a friendship; but all persons have not the highest ideal of honor. if the girl is not discreet in her revelation of herself, and her mother is her only _confidante_, it will not be so serious a matter, for the mother will never be tempted to reveal to others anything that would bring scorn or criticism upon her child. nowhere, in her girlish ignorance, can the girl find as sincere sympathy as in the loving mother. "but all mothers are not sympathetic," you say. "they are often nagging, and use the confidences of the daughter to make her uncomfortable." well, if this be so, you, at least, can learn the lesson, and by your habits of thought fit yourself to be the wise, loving, companionable, sympathetic _confidante_ of your daughter, for you will be anxious that she should have no friend so close as yourself. however, i believe that mothers should recognize the individuality of their daughters, and win, rather than command, confidence. it is difficult for us, as mothers, to realize that our daughter is just as much a separate individual as is our neighbor's daughter, and that we have no right to thrust ourselves upon her, no right to demand that she shall love us. we have the right to sympathize, to counsel, to direct her conduct so long as she remains in our personal care, but we should remember that she must be responsible, that she is a soul and must live her own life, learn her own lessons, suffer her own experiences. our deepest love can only enable us to help her to choose wisely, to think truly, to act judiciously. so i would have the friendship of mother and daughter something very deep and true--something more than a petting and caressing, an indulging or humoring. i would be inclined to have less outward demonstration and more inner tenderness. i believe that very often outward impression comes largely to take the place of true affection. i see girls who kiss and fondle their mothers, who never open to them their heart's deepest secrets. fewer kisses and more confidence would satisfy more thoroughly the mother's heart. i believe that, even in the family, a kiss should not become a conventionality. it should have a meaning. i would rather that my daughter should kiss me once a week, with a spontaneous desire thus to express her love, than that, from custom, she should kiss me morning, noon, and night. there are sanitary reasons against kissing, such as transmission of germs of disease; but aside from this, there are affectional reasons why kisses should be few, and these few spontaneous rather than required. we ought never to force our kisses upon children; but, recognizing their individuality, leave them free to proffer or to refuse. next to the friendship of parents should come that of brother and sister. we almost think it a wonder when members of the same family seem really to love each other, and yet family ties should be the strongest in the world. why should there not be the sweetest intimacy between two sisters, whose lives and interests are so closely united? why should not the bond between mother and sister be indissoluble? a young man and woman, children of the same parents, brought up in the same home, ought to be the best of friends. their friendship is without the danger of misunderstanding. it can be free from the slight feeling of envy or jealousy that might arise between sisters. it would seem that it could be the truest comradeship possible to two young people. a sister should be to a brother not merely some one at hand to mend his gloves or make his neckties, not simply some one to fondle and indulge, but she should be one whom he would never scold or browbeat. a brother should not be simply some one to run errands, to call on for help in emergencies, not some one to tease when the spirit of mischief prompts, or to scold when things have gone wrong. i would have the love of these two manifest itself in all true helpfulness, but in a way that would draw out the noblest self-reliance in each. it should manifest itself in courteous words, in helpful deeds, in glances of the eye, in tones of the voice, in heartfelt sympathies that stimulate to nobler deeds, in every way that strengthens and uplifts; and if caresses are few, they will not be missed in the wealth of that truer manifestation which makes the recipient feel his nobility and worth. a young lady once asked me if i believed in young people who were not related treating each other as brother and sister, and i replied that would depend on how the brother and sister treated each other. i have seen girls treat brothers in ways that other young men would not enjoy--finding fault, nagging, and snubbing generally. i have seen young men browbeat their sisters, tease them, and be continually unkind. i presume, if such a young man should propose to be a brother to a girl, he would not purpose to treat her in this way. young people sometimes like to try to deceive themselves, and they fancy that the subterfuge of calling each other brother and sister will be a warrant for the parting kiss or the tender endearment that they enjoy, but which they feel proprieties will not allow. the subterfuge is too transparent. it deceives no one, and it does not make right that which, without it, would be improper. platonic friendships--that is, friendships between men and women without the element of physical love--are rare; rarer, indeed, than they should be. they are difficult to maintain because of the temptation to begin in the indulgences of personal familiarities, which tend to lead the friendship over into debatable ground. men and women ought to be grand, true friends, inciting each other to the noblest achievements, but it never can be through sentimentality. a girl may think she is sisterly when she listens to the young man's cry for sympathy in some trouble, and she holds his hand and smoothes his hair and comforts him after this tender fashion, and he may go away feeling comforted, even as a baby might be quieted by petting; but his moral fiber has not been strengthened; he has not been made to feel stronger to do and dare. supposing she had listened with interest to his story, and then, without laying her hands upon him, she had said, "you are a man, a prince, the son of a king. you are strong to bear, brave to do. obstacles surmounted give broader outlooks. burdens bravely borne bring strength. i believe in you;" and then, with a strong, firm--i had almost said manly--grasp of the hand, she had sent him away, he would go feeling stronger, braver, more self-reliant, stimulated, encouraged, not merely soothed and quieted. in this fashion a girl may treat a young man as a brother. she may tell him his faults in all kindness. she may listen to his dreams, ambitions, aspirations, and encourage with approval, incite by gentle sarcasm, or enliven by kindly sportiveness; but her person is her own, and he should be made to feel that beyond these bounds he may not pass. such friendship may endure vicissitude, or separation, and be through life a source of truest inspiration. to be such a friend to a noble man is a worthy ambition. it would prove the possession of more qualities of womanliness than merely to win his passionate love. when the world comes to accept the highest ideals of life and believes that all relations of men and women are not of necessity founded on physical attraction, then will such friendships be more possible, and the earth can offer no more desirable future than that in which men and women, knowing each other as immortal intelligences, shall leave the vale of unsafe sentimentality and sensuous poison to dwell on heights of noble companionship. chapter xxii. friendship between girls. you think, perhaps, that i can find no fault with the friendship of girls with each other, that that certainly is safe and pleasant. i have said enough for you to understand that i believe in reserve even in girl friendships. girls are apt at certain periods of their lives to be rather gushing creatures. they form most sentimental attachments for each other. they go about with their arms around each other, they loll against each other, and sit with clasped hands by the hour. they fondle and kiss until beholders are fairly nauseated, and in a few weeks, perhaps, they do not speak as they pass each other, and their caresses are lavished on others. such friendships are not only silly, they are even dangerous. they are a weakening of moral fiber, a waste of mawkish sentimentality. they may be even worse. such friendship may degenerate even into a species of self-abuse that is most deplorable. when girls are so sentimentally fond of each other that they are like silly lovers when together, and weep over each other's absence in uncontrollable agony, the conditions are serious enough for the consultation of a physician. it is an abnormal state of affairs, and if probed thoroughly might be found to be a sort of perversion, a sex mania, needing immediate and perhaps severe measures. i wish the friendships of girls were less sentimental, were more manly. two young men who are friends do not lop on each other, and kiss and gush. they trust each other, they talk freely together, they would stand by each other in any trouble or emergency, but their expressions of endearment are not more than the cordial handgrasp and the unsentimental appellation, "dear old chap." i admire these friendships in young men. they seem to mean so much, and yet to exact so little. they believe in each other's love, but do not demand to be told of it every minute. it is the highest type of friendship that can believe in the friend under all circumstances. i have a friend from whom i may not hear once a year, yet i know just where she stands in her relation to me, and i would have no fear of finding her cold or unresponsive should i at any time call on her for a friendly service. i may never see her, or even hear from her again in life, and we may live long years yet on the earth, but i would as soon think of doubting the return of to-morrow's sun as to doubt her love. there is no need of words, of caresses, even of deeds. we are both busy women. our daily cares absorb us, yet we know that we are friends, and in the great hereafter we hope to find a place where we may pause and look into each other's faces and enjoy an interchange of thought. but now other interests than self-seeking claim us. we work on, cheered by the thought that time cannot alienate us, for true love is eternal. the charm of a true friendship is that it does not make demands. i had a school friend who thought that because she was my friend i must tell her all my affairs. she was offended if i received a letter that i did not read to her, or if i went out to spend the evening without first informing her. her friendship became a tax because it demanded so much. and, after all, was it true friendship? was it not love of self, rather than of me? people sometimes imagine that, because they crave love, they are affectionate and unselfish. is it true? it is rather natural to want to be loved, but it is selfish, and the feeling indulged in to any extent is weakening. to want to be loved means usually to want some one to be a protector, a giver of pleasure, a supplier of wants. to desire to love is nobler, for to love is to give. god so loved the world that he gave. christ loved us and gave--gave himself for us. to love truly, grandly, nobly, is to grow strong through giving. not giving that which we should not give, not unwisely giving of time that belongs to our own best good, not giving of strength that should be dedicated to some better purpose, not a yielding of principle, nor purity, nor honor, but the true giving of that which enriches both giver and recipient, which ennobles, uplifts, encourages and strengthens, and leaves no sorrow in its wake. the truest giving is sometimes a refusal to yield to demands that are unworthy. love wisely, my daughter, and you will give wisely. chapter xxiii. exercises. as many girls are affected by spinal curvature, round shoulders, weak back or ankles, prolapsed stomach, bowels, or pelvic organs, constipation and poor general circulation, it seems well to give a few exercises that shall be corrective of these defects, premising that each exercise should be begun gradually and easily, increasing frequency and force, as strength is gained, say five times a day the first week, eight times a day the second week, and so on. _never exercise in tight clothing or in a corset_, and do not _exercise to exhaustion_. _to overcome slight lateral curvature._ . if it is the right shoulder that is depressed, place the hands on hips or behind neck, and bend slowly to the left. reverse this movement if the left is the lower shoulder. . with arms raised above the head, bend the body slowly forward and try to touch the floor without bending the knees, then rise slowly to an erect position. _to overcome round shoulders._ do not fold the arms in front. any motion that brings hands together behind the back is good. draw the elbows quickly backward. carry a weight in each hand, holding the weight behind you and out from the body. hold the body in the correct attitude (see page ), head balanced on spine, chest elevated, posterior part of body thrown out, weight on balls of feet, not on heels. exercises that strengthen the waist muscles will help to maintain the erect position, and so tend to overcome round shoulders. _to strengthen weak back._ . hold a light weight in each hand. place the weights on the floor in front of you. stand with feet eight inches apart, and take three slow, deep breaths. stoop over and take the weights in the hands and gradually straighten up till the hands hang easily at the sides. bend slowly forward, and again place the weights on the floor. repeat five times. . clasp the hands back of the neck and bend slowly forward until the head is on a level with the waist. count ten, then straighten up to erect position. repeat. . bend the body backward, forward and sidewise at the waist. . put your right arm over your head till it touches your left ear. hold the chin high. breathe slowly and deeply while you walk around the room. repeat with other arm. increase the length of your walk gradually. . playing tennis is good exercise for the sides of the waist. . carry a weight first on one shoulder, then on the other. . run on the toes. . hop on one foot. _to strengthen and develop the chest._ . maintain an erect attitude. . raise and lower the arm, forward, upward, backward, without bending the elbows. . lie on the floor, stretch the arms over the head till the hands touch the floor. take a deep breath and hold it; now bring the arms over the head as high as you can reach, and do not bend the elbows. rest and repeat three times. . hold chin as high as possible. raise the arms at the side as high as you can. breathe deeply and hold the air in the lungs. now, without letting any air out and without bending the elbows, bring your hands down steadily to your sides. repeat. keep chin well up. _to strengthen abdominal muscles._ . stand with chin high. . breathe slowly and deeply. . raise the right knee till the right foot is about twelve inches from the floor. . give a little spring with the left foot, raise it swiftly from the floor, and at the same time put the right toe and sole (not heel) to the floor. . spring on right foot and put left down. repeat five times. . fold arms behind. hold chin up. breathe slowly and very deeply. do not bend the knees. hold your left foot far out in front of you while you count five. . lower it and raise right foot in same way. repeat four times. keep the shoulders well back and down while doing this exercise. point the toes down and out. . lie on your back. keep feet down and rise to a sitting position. drop slowly back, and repeat three times. . run, lifting your feet high, like a spirited horse. . stand with chin high, arms akimbo. breathe slowly and deeply. advance left foot eight inches in front of right. lean head slowly as far back as possible. hold it while you count five. straighten, and repeat five times. . place the hands on the wall in front of you as high as you can reach and about two feet apart, with the elbows straight. have chin up till you face the ceiling, and keep it so. take a very deep breath and hold it. now bend your elbows and let the body go slowly forward till the chest touches the wall, keeping the body and legs stiff all the time. push back till straight again. do not take heels off the floor, nor hands off the wall, nor eyes off the ceiling right overhead. repeat five times. . lie on the floor, stretch the arms over the head till the hands touch the floor. clinch the fists. take a deep breath and hold it. now raise the arms slowly, keeping the fists clinched, and bring them down at the sides, raising the head from the floor at same time. raise the arms and stretch them on the floor over the head at same time, letting the head sink back to the floor, and breathe out slowly. _to facilitate the return of displaced organs to their normal position._ . lie on your back upon a smooth, hard surface. draw the feet up as close to the body as possible. now lift the lower part of the body until it is wholly supported by the feet and shoulders. hold it in this position as long as possible without fatigue. lower slowly to original position. rest a few minutes. repeat. continue for twenty or thirty minutes, according to strength. . lie with face downward. raise the hips as high as possible, supporting the body on the toes and elbows. . slip from the bed head first and face downwards until the head rests on the floor and the legs and feet remain upon the bed. let the arms to the elbows rest on the floor. when weary of this attitude slip to the floor, turn on the back, and apply the bandage. chapter xxiv. recreations. _walking._ it is well to bear constantly in mind that all exercise, even walking on level ground, is objectionable in clothing that compresses the body; and as exercise is the law of the development of muscle, the only safe thing to do is so to dress that every muscle has free and unrestrained motion. walking to be beneficial should be out of doors, with some pleasant motive, and taken with some degree of energy. the length of the walk should be proportional to the strength of the girl--short at first, and increasing as strength increases. the erect attitude should be maintained, and the walking not prolonged to exhaustion. walking slowly home from school, laden with books and intent on conversation with others, will not fulfill the demands of walking for exercise. it makes no demand on breathing power, does not develop depth of chest or strength of limb. _running._ this is an admirable exercise if the dress be suitable. long skirts are an impediment. running on the toes develops the calf of the leg. the swift motion causes deep breathing, which expands the chest. if violent or long-continued, it may make too urgent a demand on the heart and lungs, and so be detrimental. the counsel of a physician is safest for those whose heart and lungs are weak. _riding._ horseback riding is a vigorous exercise, which would be especially beneficial were it not for the cramped position women are forced by custom to assume. it cannot be recommended to those who have a tendency to lateral curvature of the spine or weak back, or prolapsed internal organs. such girls should by proper care be put into a better physical condition before attempting to ride. harvey advises learning to ride on either side of the horse, so as to bring opposite sets of muscles into play, and counteract the curvature which physicians who have the opportunity to observe say is produced by riding. that being true, why not adopt the sensible fashion of riding on both sides of the horse at once, as men do? i saw a young lady so mounted the other day, and the sight was far more agreeable than the twisted attitude compelled by the side-saddle. medical men also assert that riding tends to produce round shoulders, and as the greatest muscular strain comes on the back, it is not helpful to weak backs. _skating._ skating is a fine exercise. it quickens the circulation and the respiration, aids digestion, exercises a great number of muscles, both of limbs and trunk of body, strengthens the ankles, and incidentally the nerves. evils are to be found in wrong habits of dressing, the tendency to overdo through the fascination of the sport, the danger of taking cold by carelessly sitting down to rest when heated, or driving home after being warmed up by the severe exertion. a girl of good judgment, properly clothed, ought to be benefited by this charming out-door sport. it should be begun very gradually at the opening of the skating season, and not undertaken if the internal organs are prolapsed. _rowing._ rowing is an exercise that develops the upper back and back of shoulders, and therefore needs to be counteracted by exercise that calls into play the muscles of the front of the chest. _cycling._ the dangers of cycling arise principally from lack of judgment. the temptation to overdo is very great, and injury is done in attempts to ride longer, farther and faster than the strength will safely allow. the whole dress should be so arranged as to give perfect freedom of movement, the skirt short enough to clear the dangerous part of the mechanism, the saddle adjusted to the individual both in its make and height, and the girl be taught to sit properly and to adjust her weight so that the pressure will not be undue upon the perineum. rectal and other local irritations are produced by the pressure of the whole weight resting on the saddle. the position should not be absolutely erect, but leaning _slightly_ forward, so as to allow the weight to be distributed between the handle-bars, the pedal, and the saddle. this slightly inclined attitude also maintains the proper and harmonious relation of the internal organs, so that the bowels do not crowd down on the pelvic organs. if the girl is taught to sit on the machine properly, to distribute her weight, to sit on the large gluteal muscles, and not on the perineum, to use judgment in the amount of exercise taken at a time, there is no reason why a girl in a normal condition of health should not be benefited. there may be particular reasons why some girls should not undertake to ride, and these can be determined by the physician. _tennis._ this is a game that demands great activity, consequently there is especial need of entire freedom of movement. all constrictions of clothing are especially injurious. it is claimed by some that, being essentially a one-sided exercise, there is a possibility, if unwisely indulged in, that it may produce injurious results, especially to the spine. _swimming._ swimming is not only a valuable exercise, but it really conduces to the safety of life in these days of constant boat travel, and there are no adequate reasons why girls should not learn. the younger they begin, the more readily will they become expert. it is not wise to indulge in this exercise while menstruating, nor immediately after eating. _skipping._ there is some prejudice against this form of exercise from the fact that it can be overdone, and also from the popular idea that it is injurious to girls to jump. if they are properly dressed, and their muscles are gradually developed, and they use good common sense as to amount, there are practically no dangers in skipping. it is admirably adapted to strengthen a great variety of muscles, as those of the legs, back, abdomen, and neck. it strengthens the knees and the arches of the feet, thereby tending to overcome flat foot. it strengthens weak backs, increases circulation and respiration and promotes digestion, and, if practised out of doors, is one of the most perfect forms of exercise. of course the judgment dictates that when the pelvic organs are heavy with the menstrual congestion it would not be advisable. _dancing._ dancing, in itself considered, is a pleasant and beneficial exercise. it develops grace and muscular strength, increases circulation and respiration, and is cheering because of rhythm. one wishes that it could be unqualifiedly commended. but when we take into account the late hours, the heated rooms, the promiscuous company, the late unwholesome suppers, the improper dress, the dangers of taking cold, the immodest freedom of the round dance, and the not infrequent evils resulting therefrom, it would seem unwise to commend an exercise so surrounded by objectionable concomitants. it is observed that young church members who become interested in the dance soon lose all their interest in church work. if dancing could be conducted in the daytime, out of doors, among well-known home friends and companions, in proper dress, and with _no round dances_, there would be much to commend, and little to condemn. _card-playing._ i can find little to say in favor of this form of amusement. it contains no exercise for the body. it continues the cramped attitudes to which most people are condemned during the day. it certainly contributes nothing to the higher forms of enjoyment. it stimulates emulations, which st. paul enumerates among things to be avoided; it is the accompaniment of gambling and low society; and, while we must admit that a pack of cards in itself is not evil, yet it can be and often is made most detrimental to the best interests of morality and righteousness. the young woman who respects her own intellectual and moral powers will see little charm in manipulating cards in a way to gain a momentary success over another and perhaps arousing unkind feelings, it may be even passions, that may culminate in bloodshed. _theatre-going._ it is natural that we should enjoy pictorial representation of human life with living actors and audible words; and, understanding this, many good people have had the hope that the stage might be purified and made a teacher of morals. certainly valuable lessons of life might be most strongly presented in this concrete form, and thus appeal with wonderful power to the young and inexperienced. but that it might be so used does not insure that it will be, and observation shows us that it is not. the modern play concerns itself principally with a delineation of those phases of life which we condemn when they become reality, and the teaching power of the stage becomes a lesson in wrongdoing which to the young and inexperienced is potent in its suggestiveness. the costumes of actresses are often immodest, and many of these women are immoral in character. it would not be just to condemn all actors with the sweeping assertion of immorality, but all will admit that the temptations are great, and that great moral force is needed to resist the influences that lead towards wrong. that many of our great actors will not permit their children to become actors, or, in some cases, even to enter the theatre as a witness of its performances, speaks strongly on the matter. in the consideration of this subject the girl may safely decide that she will not be a permanent loser if she is not a frequenter of the theatre. it is safer to keep the mind pure and untainted from all pictures of sin, more especially if they are made attractive by the glamour of jewels and silken attire, of music, dancing, and lifelike portrayal. part iii. love; heredity; engagements. chapter xxv. love. in our study we have first learned of general and then of special physiology, so, in continuing the same study in mental and moral fields, we first learn of the general and then of our special relation to others. we cultivate body, mind and spirit because it is our duty to develop ourselves for our own interests; but it is also our duty to cultivate all our powers because of our responsibility in regard to others. this responsibility i will include in the one word, "love." what is love? the idea of love occupies much of the thought of old and young, and in different persons it will have very different meanings. to one it means merely pleasurable sensations aroused by either the thought of a person, or by the actual presence of that person. to another it means an opportunity to sacrifice inclination and pleasure in order to promote the happiness or welfare of a certain person. much that passes in the world as love is principally love of self. the man loves the woman because she satisfies his sense of beauty; her presence causes thrills and ecstasies; she contributes to his happiness and comfort. that is, he loves himself through her. the woman loves the man because he protects her, he surrounds her with luxury, his presence brings thrills and ecstasies to her. she loves herself through him. is not this but the essence of selfishness? in another case the man loves the woman so tenderly that he cannot do enough to prove his devotion. if her welfare demands his absence, he gladly foregoes the pleasure of her society. if her comfort requires his unremitting toil, he gives his days, and even his nights, to the task of labor for her. his only anxiety is to know her wants and to supply them. he effaces himself and his wishes to serve her. he would die to secure her good. he gives, and asks nothing. or, in the same way, the woman loves the man so that her whole thought is not what she can obtain from him, but what she can give him. true love desires only to give. self-love strives only to secure. emerson says, "all the world loves a lover," and conversely we may say a true lover loves all the world. the affection kindled in the heart by one worthy individual goes out in a kindlier feeling for all the world. a poet once said that the world was brighter and all humanity dearer because he loved truly one worthy woman. he was more gentle with little children; the very beggar on the street corner seemed to be a brother in distress. because the woman he loved had given him her heart, he wanted to give something to every one he met. this is the spirit of true love, to go out in blessings towards the beloved object, and so on towards every created thing. i was once asked if i believed in love at first sight. how can love spring up in a minute? there may be admiration of beauty, there may be appreciation of intellectual qualities, there may be a recognition of magnetic personal attraction, but none of these is love. love, to be worthy the name, must be a superstructure built upon a firm foundation of acquaintance with each other's true qualities. love is not a balloon, in which two young people may go sailing among the clouds, away from all regions of every-day life. those who try it with that idea find the cloud-world cold and uncomfortable, and not at all the rosy, gold-tinted region it looked at a distance. love is rather like a building with foundations set into the earth--foundations solid, firmly laid and durable. how can people love when they do not know each other? acquaintance first, then friendship, comradeship; then, if the sentiment grows, love. but how are young people to get really acquainted? they meet under unreal conditions. they see each other in society, in sunday dress and with sunday manners. they doubtless do not mean to deceive each other, but there is little to draw out the real self. there is nothing to disturb or irritate, nothing to prove the honesty, the neatness, the industry, the persistence, the business ability; nothing to disclose the true ideas in matters of serious import, of health, religion, duties of husbands and wives, the government of the home; and too often the intimacy of marriage discloses many personal peculiarities of temper, habits and manners that, if seen in time, would have prevented marriage. the trouble does not originate with young people themselves, but with older people; but as the young people of to-day will be the older people of the future, it would be well for them to realize what the trouble is. the fact is, that in the present conditions of society the association of young people is unnatural. from earliest childhood boys and girls are taught to think of each other only in sentimental ways. the little boys and girls in school are playing at "lovering," and their conversation is often more about beaus and sweethearts than about the plays of childhood, which alone should occupy their thoughts. you remember that little miss of ten who asked you, when you were sixteen, who was your beau. you recall her look of surprise when you replied that you had none, and her exclamation, "have no beau! why, how do you get along without one?" what made such a mere child imagine a beau to be an essential agent of a girl's life? because she had been taught by the jests and suggestions of her elders that every boy was a possible lover, and, young as she was, that thought was woven into her very life. it is pitiable to see how early the mind of the child is tainted by sentimentality, by the unwise suggestions of older friends. i remember hearing of a child of six who was talking of getting married. some one said, "you are too little to think of getting married," and the child replied, "why, i have thought of it since i was two years old." and doubtless she had, because it had been continually impressed on her mind by the conversation of parents and friends, and the direction they had given her thought in regard to her relation to everything masculine. parents are often very unwilling to teach their daughters the facts of sex, and yet quite willing to emphasize the consciousness of sex by intimating the possibility of flirtations, love affairs, etc. and this false, pernicious idea of the relation of men and women is too often called love. the central idea of romances is this passionate attraction of the sexes. the plot gathers in intensity around the lovers, and culminates in their marriage, after which life is presumed to move on without a jar, and silly girls and impulsive boys imagine that the sweet pain that accompanies the touch of hands or the glance of the eyes is love, and is a sufficient guarantee for the forming of a life partnership. let us face this question fairly. what is love? of what is it made? can you judge with any certainty of its lasting qualities? how can you know the true from the false? unfortunately we have but the one word, "love," to designate many phases of kindly regard. the mother loves her child, the child loves the mother, yet love differs much in these two instances. the one is protecting, anxious, self-sacrificing, unstinted care, unqualified devotion; the other is sweet dependence, unquestioning acceptance, asking all and giving little. the love of brother and sister differs from that of brother for brother, or sister for sister. the love of man for woman differs from all other emotions of love. it contains elements not found in other forms. it may have the same quality of giving or accepting, of protecting or yielding, but with all this there is an added quality that is not found in any other relation of life, a quality that rises to the intensity of a passion, and which, if thwarted or distorted, may become murderous or lead to insanity. this overwhelming, domineering sway of feeling inheres in the fact of sex. it is the expression of the whole nature, through the physical; it is the vital creative force endeavoring to reach a tangible result. holy in its inception, it can be degraded to the vilest uses. forming the distinctive feature of love between the sexes, it is too often imagined to be the all, and a strong physical attraction without the basic friendship, which can only come through acquaintance, is not infrequently supposed to be worthy of the name of love, and found, alas! to be the most unsubstantial of chimeras. love, to be worthy of the name, must rest, not on the fact of admiration for beauty, not on the physical attraction manifested in sweet electric thrills. love should include intellectual congeniality and spiritual sympathy, as well as physical attraction. lacking any one of these three ingredients, the interest of two people in each other should not be called love. in order that it may be determined whether there is the true basis of love, there should be opportunity for unsentimental acquaintance. if we could free the minds of young people from the romantic idea, and allow them to associate as intelligent beings, and so form acquaintance on the basis of comradeship, we should make things safer for them. but if the older people do not know how to secure this desirable state of affairs, the young people themselves might secure it if they understood its desirability. you, as a young woman, can have much influence in the right directions, supposing that you drop from your mind the idea of sentimental relations with young men and meet them on the ground of a friendly comradeship. don't indulge in _tête-à-têtes_, or in lackadaisical glances of the eye. don't permit personal familiarities, hand pressures, or caresses. don't simper, and put on the airs which mean, though the girl may not understand it, an effort to arouse the admiration and the physical feeling of love. refuse to be flattered, to be played with, to be treated as a female, but insist on being treated as a woman with intelligence, with a capacity to understand reasonable things. manifest an interest in the movements of the world, of politics, literature, art, religion, athletics. talk of the things that interest the young man as a citizen of the world, and not merely of those things which appeal to him as a male. be frank, be lively, be witty, be wise, but do not be sentimental. when a young man calls, don't let him get the idea that you have to be secluded in a room apart from the rest of the family. you will be better able to judge of him if you see him with your brothers, if you note his manner towards your mother, if you hear him converse with your father, if you mark his conduct towards the younger children. he will talk sense, if he can, when he meets your family, while in a _tête-à-tête_ conversation with yourself he may be able to hide his lack of wisdom under the glamour of sweet nothings and soft nonsense. then be yourself when he comes. let him see you in your home life, at your domestic duties, sewing, helping mother, reading to father, caring for the little ones. be an honest, free-hearted, companionable girl, and put sentimentality out of mind. you can have many such friends, and by and by, out of these you will probably find one whom you admire more and more as time goes on. you hear his sentiments always expressed in favor of truth and probity. you come to know something of his business principles, you see his courtesy to old and young, you learn of his home, his family, his social position, and out of this intimate knowledge there springs the attachment, blended with deep respect, which assures you that he is worthy of your heart and hand, and indeed of your whole life. little by little the comradeship has grown more intimate. you have not been sentimental. you have treated each other with respect, you have maintained your self-respect, you have held a tight rein over your fancies and emotions, but now you are convinced that you may allow them to have sway. you begin to acknowledge to yourself that you love. and he, too, begins to manifest a deeper interest in you. you see this with a certain pride in the fact that he is not self-deceived he knows you, has seen you in your daily life, has sounded the depth of your intellect, knows of your religious beliefs, and in all he has found you coming up to his ideals. his eye meets yours with a new tenderness in its glance that touches you, because you know it is not an earthly fire of passion that glows therein. it is you, the real, immortal you, that he seeks; not merely the pleasures of sense through you; and feeling the response in your own heart, your glance kindles with the same divine fire, and your true selves have spoken to each other. you have gradually grown into the knowledge of love. you have not fallen in love. and yet there have been no words, and in maiden shyness you await his speech. your womanly reserve has won his respect, and he makes no attempts to win privileges of endearments before he confesses his love, but frankly and manfully pleads his suit and wins. oh, my dear child, this has been no matter for jesting; it has been serious, and we who have watched this dawning love have realized that the great drama of life, so full of tragic possibilities, is being here enacted. we do not laugh, nor jest, but with the tenderest prayers we welcome you into the possibilities of god's divinest gift of human love. chapter xxvi. responsibility in marriage. you are beginning to feel a peculiar interest in one young man more than in any other. you think of him in his absence; you welcome his coming; his eyes seem to caress you; the clasp of his hand thrills you; you begin to think that you have passed from the domain of friendship into that of love. before you really make that admission, let us "reason together." let us take a fair look at matters, and see whether it is wiser to pass the border line, or to remain only friends. who is this young man? you tell me his name, but that means nothing. who is he? what is he in himself? what are his talents, capacities, habits, inherited tendencies? who is his father, his mother? what is their worth? i do not mean in money, but in themselves? what ancestral diseases or defects may he transmit to his posterity, which will be your posterity if he becomes your husband? are the family tendencies such that you would be willing to see them repeated in your children? there is no indelicacy in asking yourself these questions, nor in making the investigations which will enable you to answer them satisfactorily. the woman who marries, marries not only _into_ her husband's family, she also marries his family; she is to become one of it, to live with it in closer and closer companionship as her children, bearing the family temperament, disposition and tendencies, gather one by one around her hearth. is the family one of the type that she will desire to associate with intimately all the days of her life? you may feel that it does not matter if you do not love your husband's mother, or admire his sisters; no matter if you do not have respect for his father, you will live so far away from them that it will not be oftener than once in several years that you will be obliged to meet them. it might even happen that you would never see them, and yet it be a very serious matter that they were not respectable or lovable people, for they constitute one-half of the ancestry of your children. their most undesirable characteristics may, perchance, be the endowment of your sons and daughters, and your heart ache, or even break, over the habits, or, it may be, criminality, which may disgrace your home through the paternal inheritance that you chose for them. viewed in this light, marriage becomes a most serious matter. it is unfortunate that girls generally have the idea that it is not modest to think of marriage further than the ceremony. of the responsibilities and duties they are not only ignorant, but think it ladylike to remain uninformed until experience teaches them, and that teaching is often accompanied by heart-breaking sorrow. if you should make inquiry you would discover that a large proportion of mothers have buried their firstborn children, and should you ask them why, they would in all probability say, almost without exception, that it was because they did not know how to give them a dower of health, or how to care for their physical needs. again, investigation would show you that children go astray, become wild, dissipated, or even criminal, because parents have not known how to train them, how to keep their confidence, how wisely to guide them in ways of righteousness. we all believe it very important that mothers should know how to direct and govern their children, and yet we do not train the future mothers for this important office. we teach girls how to sew or cook, how to embroider and play the piano. we do not expect them to know, without instruction, how to mingle the ingredients for a cake or pudding, but we imagine that they will know by intuition how to secure the best results in the mingling of heterogeneous compounds in the formation of the characteristics of a human being. when we speak of the mother's privilege, we think of the actual mother, whose privilege is to care for and guide her real children. but the mother's privilege in fact begins in her own childhood, when by her habits of life and thought she is deciding her own character, and at the same time creating, in great degree, the talents and tendencies of her possible children. it is her privilege to secure a measure of physical vigor for her descendants by her care of her own health in her very girlhood. she can endow them with mental power by not frittering away her own powers of mind in foolish reading or careless methods of study. by her own self-respecting conduct she helps to give them the reverence for self which will insure their acting wisely. all this is the mother's privilege; and still one more great privilege is hers, and that is to choose one-half the ancestry of her descendants. she cannot choose their ancestry that comes to them through herself; that is a fixed fact. her parents must of necessity be her children's grandparents. her family characteristics are also their inheritance. the only thing she can do in regard to their inheritance through her is to modify the objectionable traits, and to cultivate the good traits herself, so that family faults may in her be weakened and the probability of transmission lessened, and the family virtues be strengthened and their probable transmission intensified. but she has the power to decide what shall be the paternal ancestry of her household; and if she is duly impressed with the responsibility of this power, she will not allow herself to fall in love and marry a man of whose family she knows nothing, or knows facts that do not promise well for posterity. chapter xxvii. the law of heredity. i once heard of a man who on his death-bed made a singular will. he had no houses or lands to bequeath his children, but he had observed that they had inherited much from him, and so he made a formal bequest to them of that which they already possessed. he wrote: "i bequeath to my son john my big bony frame and the slouching gait i acquired by carelessness, also my inherited tendency to consumption. to my daughter mary i bequeath my sallow complexion and torpid liver, which are the result of my gross living; also my melancholy disposition and tendency to look on the dark side of life. to my son samuel i give my love for alcoholic liquors and my irritable disposition; to my daughter jane my coarseness of thought and my unwillingness to be restrained in my desires, and also my tendency to commit suicide." "a very strange will," said everybody, and yet it was a will that was probated long before the testator's death. that it gave perfect satisfaction i will not assert, but it was never contested and paid no fees to lawyers. just such wills are being made daily by the lives and conduct of young people, though they are not put into writing. some time in the future, however, they will be written into "living epistles, known and read of all men." other wills are being made daily that through sober, virtuous, youthful lives will bequeath to posterity dowers of health, strength, purity and power. this being true, it seems only a part of prudent foresight to study in youth the law that governs the transmission of personal characteristics to the future "denizens of life's great city." this law is known as heredity, and its first written record is in the first chapter of genesis, where it is written that "every plant and animal shall bring forth after its kind." we are so accustomed to seeing the results of this law that we give it little or no thought. we see that grass springs up each year on our lawns and meadows. we know that if we put the seeds of a certain flower in the ground, that kind of flower will always spring up, never another kind. the farmer is not anxious, after he sows wheat, for fear that the crop will be rye or barley. we expect that the young of cats will be kittens, of geese will be goslings, of men will be human children, and we are never disappointed. the law holds good under all circumstances. we see, too, that there are certain race characteristics that maintain. the mongolian race has peculiar high cheek-bones, sallow complexions and eyes set in bias, and we recognize the japanese or chinese at once, even though dressed in the garb of our country. so, too, we recognize the african or the caucasian by certain marked characteristics. this transmission of racial traits we call race heredity. then each race has its own traits, physical or mental, which we recognize as national, and so speak of them. we always mention thrift as an attribute of the teutonic nations; the irishman we characterize as witty and pugnacious; the frenchman as polite; the american as progressive. each individual has not only his human inheritance, his race inheritance and his national characteristics, but he has also an endowment of family traits. but we are not made up of odds and ends of ancestral belongings alone. we have in ourselves something that is original, that makes us different from each other, and from all others. i have sometimes thought that we are somewhat like patchwork quilts, the parti-colored blocks being set together by some solid-colored material; or, better still, we are like "hit and miss" rag carpets, with a warp of our own individuality, filled in with a woof made of qualities and capacities of all those who have preceded us. you know, in making "hit and miss" rag carpets we take little strips and bits of various materials and all colors, and sew them together without regard to order or arrangement, and these long strips are woven back and forth in the warp until the carpet is woven, showing no set pattern, but a mingling of tints and shades that is sometimes crude and unsightly, sometimes soft and artistic. i used, in childhood, to find great delight in seeking among the blended colors in the carpet for scraps of clothing which i recognized as having belonged to father or mother, or perhaps even to grandparents. even now, in my maturer years, i am interested in finding in myself the physical, mental or moral characteristics of those same ancestors; and you, no doubt, can do the same, while some of your traits seem to be yours entirely, constituting individual variations upon ancestral inheritances. nature has been doing for centuries, unheeded, what the photographer of to-day thinks is a modern discovery, that is, making composite photographs of us all. through this law of inheritance have arisen the intellectual, the moral or the criminal types of humanity, and the process is continuing; the types are becoming more and more marked, or modifying influences are being brought in to change the type. these influences are also the result of law, even though we may not be able to trace them to their cause. knowing this, however, we begin to see that heredity is not fatality; that the power to modify the endowments of future generations is ours. to know how to employ it, we should study the law as far as we have opportunity. this subject is a large one, and no doubt you will some day want to give it a thorough investigation. just now, however, you will have to accept my statements. i will not make them technical, but strictly practical to you as a young woman desiring that knowledge which shall best fit you for the responsibilities of future life. a superficial study is rather discouraging. we see with what certainty evil characteristics are transmitted, and we feel that the law is a cruel one; but if we have patience we shall find that, like all laws of god, its purpose is for the benefit of the race. before we begin to take comfort from the law let us first learn its warnings, one of which is that all weakening of the individual, either in bodily strength, in intellectual power or moral fiber, tends to produce a like weakness in posterity. this is why i say to you that the young people of the present have in their hands the welfare of the future. their habits to-day are moulding the possibilities of the race. young women may feel that their individual violation of the laws of health is of no importance, but when they realize that the girls of to-day are the mothers of the future, and that the physical strength or weakness of each individual girl affects the average health of the nation, not only now, but it may be through her posterity for centuries, we can see that each girl's health is a matter of national and of racial importance. but it is not alone in the physical organization that we can trace the law of heredity in the transmission of undesirable qualities. we find that evil traits and tendencies of mind or morals are transmissible. galton finds that a bad temper is quite sure to be passed on from one generation to the next, and any peculiarity of disposition in either parents is quite likely to become an inheritance of the child. this fact makes our little faults seem of vastly more importance than otherwise. we can endure them in ourselves, but they strike us very unpleasantly when we are obliged to see them manifested in our children. as the poet says: "little faults unheeded, which i now despise; for my baby took them with her hair and eyes." it may not strike us very unpleasantly when we speak disrespectfully to our parents, but when our own children show us lack of courtesy and cheerful obedience it cuts deeply, and all the more deeply if we see in their conduct but a repetition of our own. of course, if these minor faults are transmissible, we will not be surprised that graver moral defects are passed on. the grandson of a thief began to steal at three years of age, and at fourteen was an expert pickpocket. the police records show the same family names recurring year after year. these cases are so grave as to attract attention, while we overlook the fact that the smaller immoralities are as apt to be transmitted, and perhaps with increased power. i should be afraid that slight lack of strict integrity in the father might appear as actual crime in the son. i would not omit to mention also the law of atavism, in this discussion of heredity. this is that expression of the law in the omission of one generation in the transmission of a quality. we sometimes see the peculiarities or defects of a man or woman not manifested in their children, but reappearing in their grandchildren. not long ago i was in a family where both parents and all the children had dark hair but one, and she had long, bright auburn ringlets. i asked, "where did you get your hair?" "from my red-headed grandmother," she answered, with a laugh, indicating that the matter had been so often discussed in her hearing that she understood it quite fully. to cover the whole scope of the law of heredity would take more time than we have to spare. you can follow out the line of thought, and make practical application of the facts and principles here laid down. chapter xxviii. hereditary effects of alcohol, tobacco, etc. civilized life in its progress is accompanied by certain customs and habits which are detrimental to the individual health, and therefore to national health. the dress of women is not merely an unimportant matter, to be made the subject of sneers or jests. fashions often create deformities, and are therefore worthy of most philosophic consideration, especially when we know that the effects of these deformities may be transmitted. the tightly-compressed waist of the girl displaces her internal organs, weakens her digestion, and deprives her children of their rightful inheritance. they are born with lessened vitality, with diminished nerve power, and are less likely to live, or, living, are more liable not only to grow up physically weak, but also lacking in mental and moral stamina. this weakness may manifest itself in immoral tendencies, or in some form of inebriety. it is now recognized that alcoholism will produce nerve degeneration, but it is not so well understood that nerve degeneration may be a factor in producing inebriates from alcohol or other poisons. dr. crothers says: "hysteria, convulsions, unreasonable anger, excitement, depression, credulity, skepticism, most unusual emotionalism and faulty reasoning, are some of the signs of nerve degeneration," and adds that this central failure of nerve and brain power is often accompanied by a resulting alcohol or drug inebriety. that is, the weak and degenerate nerves crave a stimulant, and the weak will yield to the demand, and inebriety result. if this degeneration of nerve comes from the low vitality given by the mother, because of her unhealthful habits of dress and life, is it not wise that in her early womanhood she should know of this possibility, and guard against it through her care of herself? she ought also to understand the effect of alcohol and other poisons in producing nerve degeneration in the individual, and its probability in his posterity. george mcmichaels says: "the hereditary nature of the abnormal condition of which inebriety is the outward sign is not understood, even by physicians, as it should be. it is still, i regret to say, looked upon as a vice acquired by the individual, the outcome of voluntary wrongdoing. in some few cases this may be true, but in the majority of instances inquiry into the family history will reveal the presence of an inherited taint, such families usually showing a neurotic condition. no position in the social or intellectual world is, or ever has been, entirely free from the tendency towards alcoholism, and a study of the family history of the great men who have fallen victims to alcohol will show that the cause has been identical with the case among the most obscure of mankind, viz.: that a degenerated nerve condition has been inherited which renders the sufferer specially susceptible to this and allied neuroses, such as epilepsy, idiocy and suicide. the inheritance of an unstable nervous system makes the individual easily affected by what i must call 'alcoholic surroundings.' in other words, the provocation to drink which would have no influence upon an ordinary, stable nervous organization, is sufficient to turn the neurotic into a confirmed drunkard." as a young woman you hold great power over the race in yourself, and through your influence over others, especially over young men. your influence, wisely used, may save more than one from a drunkard's fate, and to use it wisely you should be instructed as to the real character of alcohol and its effects on the system. i have not time to tell you in minutiæ of the effects of alcohol, but i must take time to speak of the law of heredity in this respect. idiocy and inebriety are on the increase among civilized peoples. this startling fact should make us ask the reason. t.d. crothers, m.d., who is making a life study of inebriety, states that from to inebriety increased in proportion to the population over per cent., and that a large proportion is the result of inebriety in one or both parents. it is a sad fact that many women, even of good social standing, are fond of alcoholic beverages. i saw a very bright, pretty young woman not long since, at a reception, refuse to take ice-cream or cake, but drink four glasses of punch, with many jests as to her fondness for the same, apparently without any glimmering of the thought that she was drinking to excess, although her flushed face and loudness of manner were proof of this to those who were witnesses. many people have an idea that the finer drinks, such as wine and its various disguises, do not intoxicate, but in this they are mistaken. all alcoholics are intoxicating in just the degree that they contain alcohol. the exhilaration of wine is but the first step of intoxication, and that means always an accompanying lack of judgment, a lessening of the sense of propriety. one young woman who, under ordinary circumstances, was most modest in deportment, drank at her wedding in response to the toasts to her health, and grew very jovial, until at last she danced a jig on the platform at the railway station amid the applause of her exhilarated friends, who had accompanied the young husband and wife to the train, as they started on their wedding-journey. what a sorrowful and undignified beginning to the duties of marriage! there is no absolute safety for either man or woman except in total abstinence. the _débauché_ knows the effect of wine, and uses that knowledge to lead astray the young girl who, if herself, would find no charm in his blandishments, but who, after the wine supper, has no will to resist his advances. a young husband exacted of his bride a promise that she would never take a glass of wine except in his company, and when asked the reason, replied that he knew that no woman's judgment was to be trusted after taking one glass of wine. another cause of inebriety in women is found in the patent medicines advertised as a panacea for all pain, which chemical analysis shows to be largely alcoholic. many temperance women would be horrified to know that they are taking alcohol in varying quantity, from to per cent., in the bitters, tonics and restorative medicines they are using, many of which are especially advertised as "purely vegetable extracts, perfectly harmless, sustaining to the nervous system," etc. the result of inebriety of parents in inflicting injury upon offspring has not been well understood in the past, but is becoming recognized. dr. mcmichael says: "in every form of insanity the disease is more dangerous in the mother than in the father, as far as the next generation is concerned. this is a good and sufficient reason why the daughter of drunken parents, very often attractive to some men by reason of their excitable, vivacious, neurotic manner, should be carefully avoided by young men in search of wives. the man who marries the daughter of an inebriate not only endangers his own happiness, but runs the risk of entailing upon his children an inheritance of degradation and misery. "no woman should marry a man who, even occasionally, drinks to excess. further, the disposition of the sons of drunken parents ought to be investigated before any girl becomes engaged to one of them. this is one instance in which long engagements are not to be condemned, for, if the man has inherited the alcoholic craving, it may become known in time, and his _fiancée_ may be saved from the most terrible fate that i can think of--becoming the wife of a drunkard. "one word more before i leave this aspect of the subject. as the majority of inebriates are sufferers from a disease which is partly the result of hereditary predisposition, it is foolish for any woman to marry a drunkard in the belief that she can reform him. if women would realize that alcoholism is a disease and not a vice, they would understand that, while the spirit which prompts their devotion and self-sacrifice is praiseworthy, yet the probability of its success is very remote. no doubt there are women who have made this experiment and who have managed to 'reform,' as it is called, confirmed inebriates; but such cases are by no means numerous. while it might not be right to attempt to interfere with any effort to benefit any representative of suffering humanity, it must be remembered that the fate of the next generation is at stake, and that unborn children certainly have rights, although we are very apt to disregard them. admitting, then, that anyone is at liberty to risk everything, even life itself, to benefit another, nevertheless it cannot be said that anyone has a moral right to jeopardize the future of a family to satisfy any instinct or feeling of affection, however noble it may be. if what i have written is true, no woman is justified in marrying a drunkard." the unstable nervous organization bequeathed by intemperate parents is like a sword of damocles over the heads of their unfortunate children, and even moderate drinkers will not give vigorous bodies and strong wills to their descendants. one man boasted that he had used a bottle of wine daily for fifty years, and it had not injured him; but of his twelve children, six died in infancy, one was imbecile, one was insane, the rest were hysterical invalids. and alcohol is not the only substance that inebriates. opium, morphine, chloral, cocaine, and all drugs of a similar nature, are dangerous, and each not only inflicts its injury on the individual, but transmits its results to posterity in that nerve degeneration which renders the sufferer an easy victim to all forms of intoxication, and intoxication is nothing more nor less than poisoning. opium and morphine are often prescribed by physicians, and the patient, experiencing the sudden relief from pain, and perhaps not knowing the danger of indulgence, resorts next time to the delightful pain-quieter on his own responsibility, and almost before he knows it the habit is formed, and the weak will that made the easy victim now makes the unwilling slave, loathing his chains, yet unable to break them; and these evil habits are, in their effects, transmitted. dr. robertson says: "the part that heredity plays in all functional diseases or states of the nervous system is not to be misunderstood. it is safe to assert that no idiopathic case of insanity, chorea, hysteria, megrim, dipsomania, or moral insanity, can occur except by reason of inherited predisposition." the evils of morphinism are even greater than those of alcoholism, and their transmission no less sure. especially is there loss of moral power. dr. robertson says: "no matter how honorable, upright and conscientious a man's past life may have been, let him become thoroughly addicted to morphine, and i would not believe any statement he might make, either with reference to the use of the drug or on any other subject that concerned his habit. this extends further, and clouds his moral perceptions in all relations of life." dr. brush says: "cocaine is the only drug the effects of which are more dangerous and more slavish than the inhalation of the fumes of opium." the danger in the fast life of this age is that we try to find something that will enable us to do our excessive undertakings with less feeling of fatigue. we fail to see in this that we are exhausting our reserve force, instead of adding to our store of force. the _popular science news_ says that kola, cocoa, chocolate, coffee, tea, and similar substances make nervous work seem lighter, because they call out the reserve fund which should be most sacredly preserved, and the result is nervous bankruptcy. understanding that nervous bankruptcy of the parent threatens the welfare of future generations through the law of heredity, we will surely hesitate to bring ourselves under the strain produced by the use of these substances. the most dangerous habit of the present would almost seem to be the tobacco habit, because it is considered quite respectable and is therefore almost universal. men who are prominent, not only as statesmen and business men, but also as moral leaders, smoke with no apparent recognition of the evils, and lads can often sanction their beginning of the habit by the fact that a certain pastor or sunday-school superintendent is a smoker. but science has not been idle in regard to the investigation of the effects of tobacco, and the discoveries made have been published, so that we are not now ignorant of the tobacco heart, or tobacco throat, or tobacco nerves, nor of the transmission of nerve degeneracy to the children of smokers. girls sometimes think it is a great joke to smoke cigarettes for fun, and some grow into the habit of smoking, but the injury is not lessened by the fact that the use of the cigarette was begun in jest, nor that the user is a woman. in fact, the _medical times_ is quite inclined to assert that much of the neurasthenia, including a general disturbance of the digestive organs, now so common in that portion of the female sex who have ample means and leisure to indulge in any luxury agreeable to their taste, or which, for the time being, may contribute to their enjoyment, is due to narcotics. during the civil war we are told that per cent. of all men examined were excluded as unfit for military service. we are now told that per cent. are found to be unfit. nearly one-third of the young men found physically incompetent to be soldiers! from what cause? certainly tobacco must bear a large share of the blame. some years ago major houston, of the naval school at annapolis, made the statement that one-fifth of the boys who applied for admittance were rejected on account of heart disease, and that per cent. of these had produced the heart difficulty by the use of tobacco. dr. pidduch asserts that "the hysteria, the hypochondriasis, the consumption, the dwarfish deformities, the suffering lives and early deaths of the children of inveterate smokers, bear ample testimony to the feebleness of constitution which they have inherited." girls sometimes have the idea that a little wildness in a young man is rather to be admired. on one occasion a young woman left a church where she had heard a lecture on the evils of using tobacco, saying, as she went out, "i would not marry a young man if he did not smoke. i think it looks manly, and i don't want a husband who is not a man among men." years after, when her three babies died, one after the other, with infantile paralysis, because their father was an inveterate smoker, the habit did not seem to her altogether so admirable, and when she herself became a confirmed invalid, because compelled to breathe night and day a nicotine-poisoned atmosphere, she gave loud voice to her denunciation of the very habit which in her ignorant girlhood she had characterized as manly. chapter xxix. effects of immorality on the race. there is another influence at work in causing race degeneracy concerning which the majority of girls are ignorant, and that is immorality. the prevalent idea that young men must "sow their wild oats" is accepted by many young women as true, and they think if the lover reforms before marriage and remains true to them thereafter, that is all they can reasonably demand. they will not make such excuses for themselves for lapses from virtue, but they imbibe the idea that men are not to be held to an absolute standard of purity, and so think it delicate to shut their eyes to the derelictions of young men. this chapter of human life is a sorrowful one to read, but to heed its warnings would save many a girl from sorrow, many a wife from heartache. the law of god is not a double law, holding woman to the most rigid code of a "thou shalt not" and allowing men the liberty of a "thou mayest." the penalty inflicted for the violation of moral law is one of the most severe, both in its effects upon the individual transgressor and upon his descendants. the most dreadful scourge of physical disease, as well as moral degeneracy, follows an impure life. this disease, known as syphilis, is practically incurable. it may temporarily disappear, only to reappear in some other form later in life; and even after all signs have become quiescent in the man, they may reappear in his children in some form of transmission. even one lapse from virtue is enough to taint the young man with this dreadful poison, which may be in after years communicated to his innocent wife or transmitted to his children. dr. guernsey says: "i do not overdraw the picture when i declare that millions of human beings die annually from the effects of poison contracted in this way, in some form of suffering or other; for, by insinuating its effects into and poisoning the whole man, it complicates various disorders and renders them incurable. this horrible infection sometimes becomes engrafted upon other acute diseases, when lingering disorders follow, causing years of misery, and only terminating in death. sometimes the poison attacks the throat, causing most destructive alterations therein. sometimes it seizes upon the nasal bones, resulting in their entire destruction and an awful disfigurement of the face. sometimes it ultimates itself in the ulceration and destruction of other osseous tissues in different portions of the body. living examples of these facts are too frequently witnessed in the streets of any large city. young men marrying with the slightest taint of this poison in the blood will surely transmit the disease to their children. thousands of abortions transpire every year from this cause alone, the poison being so destructive as to kill the child _in utero_, before it is matured for birth; and even if the child be born alive, it is liable to break down with most loathsome disorders of some kind and die during dentition; the few that survive this period are short-lived, and are unhealthy so long as they do live. the first unchaste connection of a man with a woman may be attended with a contamination entailing upon him a life of suffering, and even death itself. almost imperceptible in its origin, it corrupts the whole body, makes the very air offensive to surrounding friends, and lays multitudes literally to rot in the grave. it commences in one part of the body, and usually, in more or less degree, extends to the whole system, and is said by most eminent physicians to be a morbid poison, having the power of extending itself to every part of the body into which it is infused, and to other persons with whom it in any way comes in contact, so that even its moisture, communicated by linen or otherwise, may corrupt those who unfortunately touch it." if girls were aware of all this they would not only be careful how they marry immoral men, but they would shrink from personal contact with them as from a viper. not one, but many girls who have held somewhat lax ideas concerning the propriety of allowing young men to be familiar have reaped the result in a contamination merely through the touch of the lips. to-day a young woman in good social standing is a sufferer from this cause. she was acquainted with a young man of respectable family, but immoral life. his gaiety had a fascination for her, and his reputed wildness only added to the charm. on one evening, as he escorted her home, and took leave of her on the doorstep, she allowed him to kiss her. it chanced that at the time she had a small sore on her lip. the poisonous touch of his lips conveyed the infection through this slight abrasion, and she became tainted with the syphilitic virus, and to-day bears the loathsome disfigurement in consequence. i do not need to multiply such cases. you can be warned by one as well as by a hundred.[ ] a young woman of pure life married a man whose reputation was bad, but whose social position was high. to-day she is suffering from the horrible disease which he communicated to her, and her children have died or are betraying to the world in their very faces the story of their father's wrong deeds. truly you cannot afford to be ignorant of facts so grave as these. footnotes: [ ] for an extended presentation of the character and diseases which accompany vice, the reader is referred to the chapters which treat of this subject in "what a young man ought to know." every young woman should be intelligent upon these important subjects. there is nothing in this book to young men which a young woman approaching maturity may not know, both with propriety and benefit, so that she may most successfully protect herself from possible companionship with well-dressed and polite but impure young men by discreetly placing the book in the hands of her father and brothers, that they may become intelligent concerning the dangers against which they can most successfully protect her. it might not be improper for her, after due acquaintance, to see that the book is placed in the hands of the one who seeks to become her husband and the father of her children, that she may at the proper time, and before it is too late, learn whether he has always lived by the standards of social purity which are there set up, and whether he is able to bring to the union the same unsullied life and character which he expects and requires of her. chapter xxx. the gospel of heredity. i have often heard people say that god was unjust in making this law of heredity and compelling innocent children to bear the sins of the guilty parents, and at first thought it might so seem; but god is a god of justice and also of mercy, and our study of his laws in their ultimate outcome leads us to know that they are invariably made for our welfare. let us see, then, if we cannot find something encouraging even in this law of heredity. are the majority of people born straight or deformed, sick or well, honest or dishonest? you may ask, are all of these conditions a matter of heredity? certainly. the fact that we are human beings instead of animals, that we have our due proportion of organs and faculties, that we are not monstrosities or imbeciles, are all hereditary conditions. we see, then, that the law of heredity insures to us our full complement of organs and capabilities, as well as the more pronounced characteristics which we the more readily recognize as inheritances. the fact is that inheritance of good is so universal that we fail to think of it. when the baby is "well-favored" and straight-limbed, no credit is given to heredity; but if he is in some way out of the ordinary, we blame the law that has fixed on him some result of parental conduct. if he possesses a good mentality, it scarcely occurs to us that this is just as surely heredity as is the transmission of the mental weakness of some ancestor. by the gospel of heredity i mean this brighter side, this "good-tidings" of the law. in the first written biblical record of the law, where the statement is made that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children to the third and fourth generation, we have also the statement of the "good-tidings" that the lord sheweth mercy to thousands of them that love him and keep his commandments; and that means not thousands of individuals, but thousands of generations. justice is meted to the third and fourth, but mercy to thousands of generations. all through the scriptures we find this brighter phase of the law enunciated. perhaps you would like to study both the law and the gospel from the bible. i will give you some texts and you can find them for yourself. it would be interesting also for you to read the lives of men and women of renown, and observe the transmission of talents and capabilities. encouraging as this view of the subject may be, it is by no means the brightest side of the subject of heredity, for if we have inherited no special talents, and if we are handicapped by the transmitted results of the sins of our ancestors, we may say "there is no hope for us, nor for our children." to us then will come, as special "good-tidings of great joy," the news that heredity is not fatality. we are not obliged to sit and quietly bear the fetters our ancestors have forged for us. we can break the chains, we can free ourselves. it may be difficult, but it can be done, and a great incentive to the effort is found in the fact that by success we not only improve ourselves, but we can pass on a better inheritance to our posterity. we may cultivate our health by obedience to its laws so as to overcome inherited weaknesses to a very great extent. we are not absolutely obliged to die with consumption because one of our parents did. by simple living, and especially by deep breathing of pure air, we may so strengthen ourselves that we will have the power to resist the encroachments of the germ of tuberculosis. we may be born with weak digestive power, but by plain, wholesome fare, by freedom from worry, by a careful attention to all healthful habits, we may grow strong and free from dyspeptic symptoms. we can by cultivation of our minds and morals not only increase our own powers, but add to the powers of our posterity. then, too, the effects of mental education are transmissible; not the education itself, but an increased capacity, a new tendency. every mental activity is accompanied by an actual modifying influence on brain structure, so that we are really building our brains by our thoughts, and this increase of our own brains is transmissible to posterity. i know that some of our philosophers assert strongly that acquired characteristics are not transmitted, and their theories seem quite plausible; but i would rather accept facts than theories any time, and professor elmer gates has demonstrated that this theory does not accord with the facts. he has trained dogs until they could recognize seven or eight shades of green or red. the brains of these dogs, so trained, show under the microscope a great increase of brain-cells in the visual area, proving that the education has created actual brain material. the progeny of these dogs, to several generations, shows at birth a much larger number of brain-cells in the visual area than is the case where the ancestry has not been so strained. where the dogs have been brought up in absolute darkness there is a great lack of cells in the visual area, both in these dogs and in their progeny. this is the brief statement of a most hopeful and encouraging fact. we look to the dark side of the law of heredity for our warning. it makes us solemnly thoughtful in view of our power over the race in the transmitted result from our own wrongdoing; and then, when we feel overwhelmed and discouraged, we turn towards the gospel of heredity and take hope from the fact that good is transmissible; and, more than that, we have it in our power so to modify our own characters, tendencies and habits that we can, in all probability, give our children a better dower than we received, and the earlier in life we begin this making over of ourselves the better. i have heard people excuse themselves for all manner of faults on the plea that they were inheritances, and therefore could not be overcome. that is to declare that we are slaves, with no chance to acquire freedom, and i am not willing to admit that. "whereas in adam all die, in christ may all be made alive." that is, that while under the law of heredity we are fettered, under the gospel of heredity our chains may be broken and we become free. there is much of encouragement in the poem of ella wheeler wilcox on heredity: "there is no trait you cannot overcome. say not thy evil instinct is inherited, or that some trait inborn makes thy whole life forlorn, and calls for punishment that is not merited. "back of thy parents and grandparents lies the great eternal will, that, too, is thine inheritance--strong, beautiful, divine; sure lever of success for one who tries. "pry up thy fault with this great lever--will; however deeply bedded in propensity; however firmly set, i tell thee firmer yet is that great power that comes from truth's immensity. "there is no noble height thou canst not climb; all triumphs may be thine in time's futurity, if, whatsoe'er thy fault, thou dost not faint or halt, but lean upon the staff of god's security. "earth has no claim the soul cannot contest; know thyself part of the supernal source, and naught can stand before thy spirit's force; the soul's divine inheritance is best." bible texts bearing on the subject of heredity. _natural heredity._ _law._--gen. : - ; ex. : ; num. : . _sins visited._--job : - ; ps. : ; jer. : . _blessings._--gen. : , ; deut. : ; : ; : ; ps. : ; : , , , ; : , ; : , ; : ; prov. : ; : ; : ; : ; : ; isa. : , ; jer. : . _divine heredity._ isa. : ; jer. : ; mal. : ; matt. : , , ; : , , , , , , ; john : ; rom. : , ; gal. : ; eph. : ; peter : ; john : ; : . chapter xxxi. requisites of a husband. having spent so much time in the study of principles and laws, we will now return to the discussion of this concrete case. what can you decide in regard to this individual young man to whom you think you have given your heart? what is he in his inheritance? what is he in himself? i do not ask that he shall have inherited wealth, for that often proves a young man's ruin, but does he come of an honest, industrious family? have you just reason to suppose that he will make a fair success of life? is his father shiftless, lazy, improvident? if so, it will be harder for him to be provident, business-like. has he true ideas of the dignity of life and his own responsibility? is he looking for an "easy job," or does he purpose to give a fair equivalent for all that he receives? would he rather toil at honest manual labor than be supported by a rich father-in-law? what are his ideas as to his responsibility in the founding of a home? how will he look upon his wife? as an equal, a companion, or as a plaything, a petted child, or a sort of upper servant? what value does he put upon the wife's labor in the conducting of the household? will he consider that the money he hands over to her is a gift from him, or only a fair recognition of the value of her work, a rendering to her of her share in the family purse? what is his estimate of woman? is she an individual with rights, with intellect and heart, with a judgment to be consulted, opinions worthy of recognition, or only an appendage to man, created for his comfort and to be held in her "sphere" by his will? what are his defects of temper, or his weaknesses of body? of course, to you now he seems perfection, and yet he is a human being, fallible and imperfect. if his faults are similar to yours, you double the possibility of their inheritance by your children. if you both have a tendency to lung trouble, the probabilities are that your children will have consumption. if you both are of rheumatic proclivities, you may expect a manifestation of the same early in the life of your children. if you both are "nervous" or irritable in temper, both jealously inclined, or are morbid and melancholy, you need not be surprised at an intensifying of these qualities in your little ones. if there are more serious family traits, such as insanity, epilepsy, alcoholism and the like, it might even be your duty never to run the risk of their transmission. i once spoke on heredity when in the audience sat a young man by the side of his _fiancée_, who, i was afterwards told, had been in an insane asylum three times, and yet he purposed marrying her. i know a clergyman who has wisely dedicated himself to a celibate life because there is marked insanity in his family. you chafe a little under this reiteration of the duty you owe to children yet unborn, and who may possibly never exist, and perhaps you say, as i have heard girls say, "oh, i don't mean to have any children;" and perhaps you add, "i don't see why people may not marry and be happy just by themselves without having children." it is not strange that you should not understand all that is involved in such a statement. it is true that some married people do not have children, and are comparatively happy, and yet perhaps if we could read their hearts we should find that the one great longing of their lives is for the blessing of a child. it is natural to desire to know the joys of parenthood. in the home, through the cares and love, the anxiety, self-sacrifice, tenderness and patience which accompany parenthood, the education of the individual is made most complete and perfect. the girl who marries without a willingness to accept these responsibilities is willing to sacrifice that which, rightly borne, will bring her the highest development. if she purposes deliberately to avoid motherhood she puts herself in a position of moral peril, for such immunity is not often secured except at the risk of criminality. i say not often, although i believe that if husband and wife are actuated by the worthy motive of not inflicting on posterity some dower of woe, they are justified in a marriage that does not contemplate parenthood, if they are of lofty purpose enough to live solely in mental and spiritual companionship. but all attempts to secure the pleasure of a physical relation and escape its legitimate results are a menace to the health and a degradation to the moral nature. this subject, and the questions arising therefrom, will be discussed more fully in the next book of this series, "what a young wife ought to know." but how is a girl to know all these things concerning her lover's ideas, thoughts, principles, and purposes? many of these you think cannot be known until after marriage, and then it is too late. that is true; therefore be wise and learn all you can of each other's habits, peculiarities, opinions, and predilections now, before it is too late. talk over business matters. find out what your lover's ideas are as to the wife's right to a pecuniary recognition of the value of her labor in making the home. does he think that she earns nothing, and that what he gives her of his money is a donation for which she gives no return? i know a young woman who had been self-supporting before her marriage who felt timid about asking her husband for money. so she wore her wedding garments until they were shabby, went without money when her own funds were exhausted, and kept silent for five years, and her husband--a young clergyman--never thought to ask her if she needed anything, never observed her growing shabbiness. when at last she summoned courage to tell him her needs, he was overwhelmed with regret for his own lack of thought and observation, and yet he could not understand why she should hesitate to ask for money. "why, it is all yours, dear," he said. "you were only asking for what already belongs to you." and many young husbands are just as obtuse, therefore they should receive in advance the instruction that is needed to prevent a possibility of such neglect. have it understood that if you are worthy to be trusted as a bearer of the name and a sharer of the fortunes of a man, you are worthy to share also the burden of the knowledge of his business experiences, and to bear the responsibility of economically guarding his interests in the expenditure of money which, by your love and care and labor, you have helped him to earn. i think a young woman should know something of the personal habits of her future husband. does he like fresh air, or does he want the windows hermetically sealed at night. is he a believer in the godliness of cleanliness? i have just read of two people who married after a six week's acquaintance, knowing nothing of each other's antecedents, personal habits, caprices or principles. the man proved to be a regular hypochondriac, taking medicine constantly, at one time with five doctors prescribing for him. he counted his pulse at every odd moment, and looked at his tongue instead of at the eyes of his wife, as he had done when a lover. he had a dread of pure air, and was as averse to bathing as a cat. the woman had lived in the open air, taken a daily morning bath, and was disgusted with those who did not do likewise. the writer says, "she stormed, took her baths, and opened the windows; he cried, took no baths, shut the windows, and called the doctors." there is no need to depict the unhappiness of the home, and yet no doubt the girl would have been shocked had anyone suggested that she inquire into these facts concerning her lover. but if she had been less romantic and more practical, if she had remembered that the marriage contract would bind her for life to one who would be more closely connected with her than anyone else could be, and this union for life, by day and by night, constant, continuous, and not to be annulled by any such small matters as bad breath or unpleasant personal habits, perhaps she would have considered it no small matter to discover the possible causes of disgust before they became fixtures in her life. and perhaps, also, she would have given her own personal habits more consideration. true love will endure much, but it sometimes dies in the presence of untidiness, of carelessness as to dress or room, or lack of sweetness of person or of breath. if you demand much of a husband, he has a right to demand just as much from you. if there are habits concerning which you would rather he as a lover should be ignorant, believe me that it is even more important that as a husband he should not know them. therefore employ your available time before marriage to rid yourself of them. if a lover would be disenchanted to see the room from which his blooming, beauteous adored one had departed, bearing the marks of carelessness and disorder, with soiled clothing, unmade bed, shoes, hose and dresses all in tumbled heaps on chairs and floor, remember that the marriage ceremony does not make such a room more attractive to the husband, who must not only see but share its discomforts. in addition to the knowledge of each other's personal peculiarities there should be an understanding of each other's ideas as to the duties and responsibilities of their proposed relation to each other. i lately received a letter from a young woman who asks, "how freely do you think two engaged young people may talk concerning their future life? would it not be indelicate for them to discuss their future relations, the possibility and responsibilities of parenthood, etc.?" i answer, that depends on the young people. if they have false ideas, if they have little or no scientific knowledge, if their thoughts are filled with wrong mental pictures, they will not know how to talk wisely and beneficially. but these two young people are intelligent, are scientifically educated, are christians. their hearts are pure, their standards high, their motives praiseworthy. it would seem that they might talk as freely as their inclination would prompt. in fact there seems to me more indelicacy and more danger from long evenings spent in murmuring ardent protestations of love and indulging in embraces and endearments than in a frank, serious conversation on the realities and responsibilities of marriage, an exchange of earnest thoughts, voiced in chaste, well-chosen language--a conversation which by its very solemnity is lifted out of the realm of sense-pleasure into the dignified domain of science and morality. chapter xxxii. engagements. there now sparkles on your finger a ring that symbolizes the promise you have given to become a wife. you are engaged, and there now arises in your mind the query as to the conduct of yourselves during this period of engagement: how much of privilege shall you grant your lover? as you are promised to each other for life, are you not warranted in assuming towards each other greater personal familiarity? may you not with perfect modesty allow endearments and caresses that hitherto have not been permissible? i take it for granted that you are not one of those unwise young women who permit themselves to become engaged for fun; who consider an engagement as of so little seriousness that it may be made and broken without regret. i have known girls who even enter into engagements just in order to feel justified in greater freedom of conduct without compunction of conscience. if such engagements do not violate the code of conventionalities they certainly infringe upon the moral code. it is not strange that girls should fail to see all the dangers of such conduct--that they should not comprehend that thus they become sources of temptation to their lovers, and may even imperil their own safety. but your engagement is an honest one, your love is true, based upon thorough acquaintance; you have mutual respect and entire confidence in each other. may you not now throw aside much of the restrictions that have surrounded your association and manifest your affection in reciprocal demonstrations? we often read the advice to young people not to enter upon long engagements, and the reason given is that it exacts too much in the way of self-control, is too great a nervous strain, is too full of peril. i would like to quote just here a few words by dr. c.w. eaton: "away with the sexual argument against engagements, and let us all set about that cultivation of will and purpose which can make the weakest a tower of strength and the arbiter of his own destiny; and let us say to our appetites, thus far shalt thou come and no farther, neither shalt thou presume to deny to thy master the best earthly companionship which may come into his life. it may be a far harder task than the ardent and poetical lover allows himself at first to think, but the hardest battles are best worth the fighting; and what manner of men should we become if we systematically evaded life's conflicts, instead of meeting them squarely and fighting them through manfully? dr. bourgeois says: 'the ancient custom of betrothals is the safeguard for the purity of morals and the happy association of man and wife. this institution was known to the greeks, the hebrews, the romans, and during the middle ages. in germany it has still preserved its poetical and moral character. the young people are sometimes affianced many years before their marriage. we see the young man, thus betrothed, with heart full of his chaste love, absent himself for a time in order to finish his education, to perform his studies of science or art, his apprenticeship to a trade, and to prepare himself for manly life. he returns to his betrothed with a soul which has remained pure, with a reason enlarged and fortified. then both are ripe for the austere duties of marriage. "'chaste love, consecrated by betrothals, can be cultivated in the midst of work. it lightens toil, it banishes _ennui_, it illumines the horizon of life with delightful prospects; it excites in the young man the manly courage and the high intelligence to create for himself a position in the world; in woman, the noble ambition to perfect herself to become a worthy companion and good adviser. "'during the stormy period of youth it is the only means of preserving the virgin purity of the heart and of the body. does anyone believe that young men who in good season have in their hearts a love strong and worthy of them would profane themselves, as they so often otherwise do, in vile affections, in those relations of a day, giving themselves a holocaust to beauty without soul, or even to licentiousness without beauty?'" emerson says: "if, however, from too much conversing with material objects the soul was gross, and misplaced its satisfaction in the body, it reaped nothing but sorrow, body being unable to fulfill the promise which beauty holds out; but if, accepting the hint of these visions and suggestions which beauty makes to his mind, the soul passes through the body and fails to admire strokes of character, and the lovers contemplate one another in their discourses and their actions, then they pass to the true palace of beauty, more and more inflame their love of it, and by this love extinguishing the base affection, as the sun puts out fire by shining on the hearth, they become pure and hallowed. by conversation with that which is in itself excellent, magnanimous, lowly and just, the lover comes to a warmer love of these nobilities, and a quicker apprehension of them. then he passes from loving them in one to loving them in all, and so is the one beautiful soul only the door through which he enters to the society of all true and pure souls. in the particular society of his mate he attains a clearer sight of any spot, any taint which her beauty has contracted from this world, and is able to point it out, and this with mutual joy that they are now able, without offense, to indicate blemishes and hindrances in each other, and give to each all help and comfort in curing the same. and beholding in many souls the traits of the divine beauty, and separating in each soul that which is divine from the taint which it has contracted in the world, the lover ascends to the highest beauty, to the love and knowledge of the divinity, by steps on this ladder of created souls." and this all means that when the thought of the sex-relation constitutes in the mind of either the idea of marriage, then the wedding ceremony will be supposed to remove all restrictions, and the only limit of gratification will be the limit of desire. under these circumstances the close familiarity of a long engagement would be a mental and physical tax, because the self-control exercised is felt to be only temporary, and will be no longer needed when the wedding ceremony has been said. but if the idea of marriage is nobler, if the sex-relation is consecrated to its highest purpose of reproduction, if marriage is felt to be only an added opportunity for self-control, which will be more difficult then because there will be no restraint except that which is self-imposed, then the engagement will be felt to be a time of gradual preparation for that closer relationship which needs more will-power because opportunity is greater. under these conditions the lovers will be aiming towards an ideal which recognizes that in wedded life all that is lasting in affection, in tender courtesy, in most intimate companionship, in sweetest demonstration, is possible without the physical union, which in itself is the most transitory of pleasures, but which in unlimited indulgence becomes the most domineering of passions, exhaustive of physical power and of mental vigor, and absolutely annihilating all true love. if you ask why there should exist this marvelous drawing of the sexes towards each other if their relation is not based upon the exercise of sex-functions, i reply that sex is more than its local expression; it is inherent in mind as well as body, and therefore sexual power may be expressed in masculine courage, energy or daring, or in feminine constancy, self-abnegation, or sweet courtesy. sexual attraction is not limited to the local expression, nor creative power to reproduction of kind, but may give a stimulus to the intellectual companionship of men and women, and result in the creation of nobler ideals and grander aspirations. having settled in your mind your attitude towards your lover, let us consider what it shall be towards your family during these days of the engagement. naturally you will not feel a separation from the home circle as keenly as do the other members of your family. you two are so absorbed in each other, are so busy exchanging ideas, in becoming acquainted, that you are oblivious to the change brought about in your family. you think you two ought to be allowed the privilege of _tête-à-têtes_, for of course you cannot talk freely together in the hearing of others. this is true. you should have times of seclusion, when, without a sense of oppression through fear of criticism or jesting, you can rhapsodize, or quote poetry and open your hearts' treasures to each other. but you still owe a duty to your home. doubtless your mother is not now as necessary to your happiness as you are to hers. she is thinking of you with most tender solicitude, she misses your presence, she already begins to feel the loneliness of the inevitable separation. if you are thoughtful you will see to it that the separation does not begin sooner than is necessary. then, too, your parents need to get acquainted with this new member whom you are to introduce into the family, and he needs to know them. he will think none the less of you if he sees that you do not allow him to monopolize you entirely, that you recognize your obligations to the family and that you expect him to recognize them also, and, in addition, his obligations to show them due courtesy and attention. he is not to absorb you entirely, to take you out of the home circle, but he is to come in and be a part of it, even as you are to become one in the home of which he is a member. you need to remember that he is son and brother to women who loved him long before you knew him, and that he still owes them attention and thoughtful, affectionate courtesy. never allow yourself to feel jealous of his mother or sisters. the fact that he is a loving, thoughtful son and brother is in a measure a guarantee that he will be a loving, thoughtful husband. let me add to this advice a word more. do not allow yourself to feel jealous of him in any way. jealousy is the quintessence of selfishness, and no other passion is so destructive of happiness, so full of the contagion of evil. if your lover is not to be trusted, you would be wise to end the engagement at once. if he is to be trusted, that trust should be absolute. i said you should not allow him to monopolize you, neither should you attempt to monopolize him. there are other people in the world besides yourself, and other occupations than the business of waiting on you. if you make him feel that he dare not speak to anyone but you, that he dare not think of anything but you, he will begin to chafe under the restraint and feel a desire to break the bonds that are becoming fetters. if he were not your acknowledged lover, if you were anxious to win his love, but were a little uncertain as to your power to do so, you would not meet him with tears and upbraidings because he had for one moment seemed to forget you, but you would at once use every possible effort to make yourself more attractive in his eyes than any other person could possibly be. you will be wise to use those same tactics now, even though his allegiance is pledged to you. be so charming that no one else can be considered so entertaining; that no one else can be so wise, so witty, so sympathetic, so altogether lovely, that everything but yourself is forgotten; and then believe in him so absolutely that he could not possibly swerve in his fidelity to you. have you ever thought that to accuse one of a certain wrong act may be just the way to suggest to him the possibility of committing it? if one trusts you implicitly, that very trust is a constant suggestion to be true, and doubt is a suggestion to act worthy of being doubted. you must trust each other or you have no sure foundation for future love and happiness. it needs a great deal of good common sense to learn how to live happily in marriage. you may have chosen wisely. the man may be honest, pure, kindly, intelligent, and christian, but he is human, therefore not perfect. he has faults, peculiarities, moods, perhaps tempers, and he will probably not wait until you are married to begin to show them. there will come differences of opinions, divergences in desires, clashings in judgment. now is the time to display your tact, to learn how to express an opposing opinion without arousing antagonism, to yield a desire for the sake of a greater love than that of self, to adhere to principle without unpleasant discussion; in short, to be dignified and womanly without pettiness or littleness of any kind. you remember the words of ruskin, that the woman must be "incorruptibly good, instinctively, infallibly wise, not for self-development, but for self-renunciation," and that will be the highest development. no doubt you will think that some of this advice should be given to young men as well as to young women, and i think so too, and were i talking to your lover i could say many warning words; but just now i am telling you things that he does not need to hear, and i do not need to tell you what, if i had the chance, i would say to him. you are to train yourself and not him, and yet i would not have you ignorant of your power over him in developing in him all that is noblest and best. you should hold him ever to his highest ideals. he should never feel so absolutely sure of your adoration as to imagine that it will endure a lowering of his standards. you have been posing a little before each other. doubtless you were not aware of this, but, now that you have each gained the heart of the other, you may sometimes feel that you can relax; but this is a dangerous error. you should continue to be as thoughtful, as courteous, as careful as ever; you should endeavor really to be all that you have tried or appeared to be during these days of courtship. you will be none too perfect even then. once, in talking to a group of women, i asserted that a wife should exact of her husband as high a tone of morality as of her lover, that she should not allow him to become lax in his conversation with her any more than with any other woman. one woman thought me too strict. she said men liked to feel that at home they could do as they pleased, and would resent a wife's interference with their right to be loose in their talk in their own home. i replied that the home is not the man's nor the woman's alone; it is theirs jointly; that each has a right to demand that the other shall not pollute or poison the air, the food, the water or the moral atmosphere; and the wife who allows contamination of the thought-atmosphere of the home is as culpable as if she were to permit poison to be put into the food. as a man admires the girl who respects herself too much to permit him to tell her questionable stories, so will he reverence the wife who refuses to allow him to degrade himself in her presence either by speech or conduct. love would not so often fail if wives knew the secret of retaining it, and that is not by sacrifice of principle, nor by tearful reproaches and upbraidings, but by being true to the highest impulses, and while having the good common sense that can make all reasonable allowance for fallibility, still permits no lowering of moral standards, no willful falling short of the very best. chapter xxxiii. the wedding. said my friend: there's to be a grand wedding, you know, with no end to the fuss and parade, with sixteen fair bridesmaids to stand in a row, with sixteen young groomsmen to help out the show, one to stand by the side of each maid. then there's a reception to be very fine, with all sorts of magnificent things, with silver to glitter and mirrors to shine, with tropical fruit and famous old wine, with odorous flowers and music divine, drawn forth from melodious strings. in the minds of many girls the wedding means only this public show, the display of elegant toilets, the reception of costly gifts; and the preparation of marriage means too often merely the making of an elegant _trousseau_. people generally do not ask concerning the fitness of the young people to enter on the solemn duties of life--do not ask how well they have been instructed concerning that which is before them; but the questions are all about clothes and gifts and ceremonials. no wonder, then, that the thought of the young woman centers on these things, to the exclusion of nearly all else; indeed, it may be to the detriment of health and the lessening of true happiness. the prospective husband finds his _fiancée_ so absorbed in sewing, shopping and interviews with dressmakers that she has few moments to give to him, and these few occupied more with the thought of gowns and personal adornments than with ideals of wedded happiness. perhaps she even excuses herself for lessening the number of his visits on the plea that very soon now she will be all his, and so he is left to spend his last days of bachelorhood in loneliness, and made to feel that raiment is more than love. worse still, it may be that on the wedding-day he takes to his heart a bride so wearied, so nervously exhausted by the preparations of the _trousseau_ that she is at least temporarily an invalid. i have known more than one bride so worn out by the preparation for her wedding that instead of bringing brightness, joy and beauty into the new life, she brought illness, anxiety and care, and made demands at once upon the patience and service of the husband, who had a right to expect health and vigor and a power to enjoy. i knew a sensible girl who said months before her marriage, "i am not going to bring to my new life a remnant of health, a shattered nervous system and a tattered temper," and she kept her word. her sewing was done by degrees, and was all out of the way weeks before the wedding. shopping and dressmaking were never allowed to interfere with the walks and drives, the chats and moonlight strolls. "we shall not be able to repeat this experience," she wisely said, and so her lover found her ever ready to give him her society and her thought. her _trousseau_ was not elaborate, her wedding-dress was simple, but in it she shone like a flower of the morning, full of brightness and health and joy. she was wise in other respects. only her intimate friends were invited to the wedding ceremony, and to these she said, "i want you to feel that it is you i invite, not your gifts. if your love impels you to give me some simple memento of yourself it will be cherished, but i'd rather have a pincushion made by your own hand, or a little flower painted by yourself, than the most costly purchased picture or most elegant piece of silver that you bought, because you thought it was expected. and if, when you come, you bring no gift but your love and blessing, i shall feel that that is the richest treasure." there was no display of presents to a vulgar curiosity, no collection of duplicate butter-knives or berry-spoons to be secretly disposed of after the wedding. the gifts were few and not costly, but each told its own story of personal affection, and therefore really had a meaning. this sensible young woman introduced another innovation into her wedding. she would not listen to the suggestion of a bridal tour. "i do not want to be stared at and commented on by strangers," she said. "let us go to some quiet spot in the mountains or by the sea, and let us live with each other and with nature." in after years she often said, "i would not miss from my memory the picture of those happy days for anything that any trip on railway trains and sojourns at hotels could give me. we had time and opportunity to learn each other's souls as we could not have done amid 'the madding crowd;' and we have loved each other more truly, i know, because in those early wedded days we sat with nature and nature's god in the true companionship which such solitude alone can bring." i never see the parade of a fashionable wedding that i am not reminded of her and of a sad contrast to her experience, when two young people were married amid a blaze of light, a rain of flowers, and under the curious eyes of hundreds of strangers took their wedding tour, while the papers glowingly described the dress and beauty of the bride, the necktie and the trousers of the groom, and pictures of the two were labeled "the happy couple." in two years the bride came home to her parents wrecked in health and broken in heart. there is a beauty in a golden wedding that truly celebrates a happy union of half a century. but when life is all untried, when perhaps the two young people know nothing of what is before them, it may be are but little acquainted with each other, and have mistaken the thrill of passion for the steady exaltation of love, then it would seem wiser to make the occasion one of most solemn import, free from glitter and show, and full of that deep meaning which makes the heart stand still in reverence for life's deepest mysteries. o, gallant young groom, it may seem a slight thing to take this young girl as your bride; to place on her finger the plain golden ring, around her these bright flower-festoons to fling, but have you e'er thought what the future will bring to you in this life so untried? have you thought how your temper may often be tried? that you may grow gouty and old, that the fair smiling face of your bonnie young bride may grow pale and haggard, and wrinkled, beside, or she prove a sloven and scold? and you, bonnie bride, on this glad wedding day, in the midst of the curious crowd, do you fancy that life will be always so gay? can you work, can you wait, do you know how to pray, can you suffer, and not cry aloud? can you watch out the hours by sad beds of pain? can you bear and forbear and forgive? can you cheerfully hope e'en when hoping is vain, and when hope is dead, and to die you would fain, can you still feel it right you should live? o, touchingly solemn and tender the hour, so full of deep meaning the vow you have uttered. and sorely you need divine power to guide you and guard you in sunshine and shower, for trouble will come and love's delicate flower be crushed, you can scarcely tell how. and yet, dear heart, there is nothing that has such unconquerable vitality as love; but it must be true love, not self-love, not sentimentality, not passion, not any of the spurious emotions that masquerade under the name of love, and which wither with the slightest adverse wind. love is not an exotic, growing only in the conservatories of wealth. it is a hardy plant, covering desolate places with verdure, glowing amid the snows of mountain peaks, blossoming by night as well as by day, hiding defects, clinging to ruins, enduring drouth and heat and cold. i know a woman who says that there should never be marriage where there are unpleasant peculiarities, idiosyncrasies, or even mannerisms; but should we act on that principle, few would marry. love is sometimes said to be blind in the days of wooing, but wearing magnifying glasses after wedlock. true love is never blind, but he is capable of judging of true relative values, and will count as naught the slight defect when measured by the overwhelming perfection. who has not seen men devoted to wives who were homely or peculiar, but who were genuinely pure and true? "i don't care," said one woman, "if my husband is bald and cross-eyed, he has a heart of gold." true love is not blind, but with a deep, keen insight looks through the encasing garment of human imperfections, and sees within the divine ego, and because it recognizes the true inner self that is worthy, hopeth all things, believeth all things, endureth all things, and never faileth. the end. offices _of_ publication ¶ in the united states. the vir publishing company, - n. fifteenth st., philadelphia, pa. ¶ in england. the vir publishing company, imperial b'l'd'g's, ludgate circus, london, e.c. ¶ in canada. ryerson press, cor. queen and john sts. toronto, ontario. "what a young girl ought to know." by mrs. mary wood-allen, m.d. condensed table of contents part i the origin of life--one plan in all forms of life--how plants grow from the seed--they feed on the soil, grow and mature--how the plant reproduces itself--the flower, the pollen, the pod, the seed--the office of bees and insects in fertilization. part ii fishes and their young--the parent fishes and the baby fishes--the seeds of plants and eggs of fishes, birds and animals--how fishes never know their baby offspring--warm blooded animals--lessons from birds--their nests, eggs and little ones. part iii animals and their young--the place which god has prepared for their young--beginning their independent life--human babies the most helpless and dependent of all creatures--the relations of parent and child--the child a part of each parent--heredity and its lessons. part iv the value of good health--the care of the body--the body a temple to be kept holy--girls should receive their instruction from their mothers--the body the garment which the soul wears--effects of thoughts upon life and character--value of good companions, good books and good influences--what it is to become a woman. "what a young girl ought to know" what eminent people say francis e. willard, ll.d. "i do earnestly hope that this book, founded on a strictly scientific but not forgetting a strong ethical basis, may be well known and widely read by the dear girls in their teens and the young women in their homes." mrs. elizabeth b. grannis "these facts ought to be judiciously brought to the intelligence of every child whenever it asks questions concerning its own origin." mrs. harriet lincoln coolidge "it is a book that mothers and daughters ought to own." mrs. katharine l. stevenson "the book is strong, direct, pure, as healthy as a breeze from the mountain-top." mrs. isabelle macdonald alden, "pansy" "it is just the book needed to teach what most people do not know how to teach, being scientific, simple and plain-spoken, yet delicate." miss grace h. dodge "i know of no one who writes or speaks on these great subjects with more womanly touch than mrs. wood-allen, nor with deeper reverence. when i listen to her i feel that she has been inspired by a higher power." ira d. sankey "every mother in the land that has a daughter should secure for her a copy of "what a young girl ought to know." it will save the world untold sorrow." "what a young wife ought to know." by mrs. emma f.a. drake, m.d. condensed table of contents husband and home the choice of a husband--one worthy of both love and respect--real characteristics necessary--purity vs. "wild oats"--what shall a young wife expect to be to her husband?--his equal, but not his counterpart--his helpmeet wifehood and motherhood--should keep pace with his mental growth--trousseau and wedding presents--the foolish and ruinous display at weddings--wedding presents and unhappiness--wise choice of furniture--the best adornments for the home. the marital relations the marital state should be the most holy of sanctuaries--its influence upon character--modesty--reproduction the primal purpose--love's highest plane--the right and wrong of marriage--the wrongdoings of good men. parenthood preparation for motherhood--motherhood the glory of womanhood--maternity productive of health--clothing--exercise--baths, etc., etc.--the child the expression of the mother's thoughts--the five stages of prenatal culture. preparation for fatherhood questions which test the fitness of young men for marriage--many young men of startling worth--effects of bad morals and wayward habits--tobacco and alcoholics--attaining the best--the father reproduced in his children. antenatal infanticide the moral responsibility of parents in heredity--the mother's investment of moulding power--parents workers together with god--ailments during expectant motherhood--maternity a normal state--development of the foetus--minuteness of the germ of human life--changes which take place--life present the moment conception takes place--the sin of tampering with the work of the infinite. the little one baby's wardrobe--the question that comes with fluttering signs of life--importance of wise choice of material and style of dress--choice of physician and nurse of real consequence--the birth chamber--surroundings and after-care of the mother--the care of the baby--the responsibilities and joys of motherhood--the mother the baby's teacher--common ailments of children and how to treat them--guarding against vice--the training of children--body building--helps for mothers. "what a young wife ought to know" what eminent people say mrs. margaret e. sangster "joyfully i send you my unqualified endorsement of the excellent book, 'what a young wife ought to know.' i wish every young and perplexed wife might read its pages." charles h. parkhurst, d.d. "it handles delicate matters in a manner as firm as it is delicate, and dignifies even what is common by the purity of the sentiment and nobility of intent with which it is treated." marietta holly (josiah allen's wife) "it is an excellent book; if every young wife of to-day would read it and lay its lessons to heart it would make the to-morrow much easier and happier for all of eve's daughters." w.g. sperry, m.d. "young wives, for whom this book is intended, wilt receive great benefits from heeding its wise words. it is good for incitement, guidance, restraint." mrs. joseph cook "it illuminates the holy of holies in the most sacred of earthly relationships with the white light of truth and purity." julia holmes smith, m.d. "be sure dr. drake's book is part of your daughter's outfit. i have never read anything which so thoroughly met the use it was designed for as this volume." j.p. sutherland, m.d. "a subject difficult to treat has been handled by dr. drake with delicacy, earnestness and straightforwardness. it is a practical book destined to do good." "what a woman of forty-five ought to know." by mrs. emma f.a. drake, m.d. condensed table of contents knowledge of climacteric necessary why women are not prepared to meet the climacteric--the fear that unnerves many--error of views concerning "change of life"--correct teaching stated--influence of medical literature--three periods in a woman's life--relation of early habits to later aches and ills--the menopause--conditions which influence the period of the climacteric--the age at-which it usually appears--effects of heredity--childless women--mothers of large families--effects of different occupations--excesses. heralds of change--diseases and remedies mental states during menopause--change in blood currents--flushes, chilliness, dizziness, etc.--nervous symptoms--disturbed mental and nervous equilibriums--nature as woman's helper--troublesome ailments--mental troubles considered--suggested help--cancer--benefits named--apprehensions dispelled--how to banish worry--simplifying daily duty--an eminent physician's prescription--a word to single women--reluctance of unmarried women to meet the menopause--how to prolong one's youth--dress during this period--the mother "at sea"--guarding against becoming gloomy--effects of patent medicine advertising--drug fiends--lustful indulgence. what both husband and wife should remember slights and inattentions keenly felt by her--need of patience--a word of private counsel--value of little attentions--wife's duty to her husband--holding husband's affections--making home attractive--unselfishness. auto-suggestion and other suggestions influence of mind over body--the mind as a curative agent--how to rise out of depression--mental philosophy and physical betterment--relation of health to sight--care of the teeth--the hair--constipation--self cure--choice of foods--exercise--physical development--exercise of mind and soul. "what a woman of forty-five ought to know" praised by the press "will dispel apprehensions aroused by groundless forebodings."--_reformed church messenger._ "if the hygienic advice in this book is followed it will lengthen the lives of women and make their closing years the happiest and most useful of all,"--_herald and presbyter._ "in no line of literature, perhaps, is such a book so much needed."--_new haven leader._ "those who peruse the book only from prurient curiosity will be disappointed."--_cleveland world._ "should be read by every woman nearing and passing middle life."--_pittsburg gazette._ "written in that wholesome sympathetic manner characteristic of all the books in the self and sex series."--_cleveland daily world._ "full of most admirable practical advice, and it is written in a sympathetic manner which is the outcome of oneness of sex between the author and those whom she addresses."--_syracuse herald._ "there are some things that a woman of forty-five does not know--things which she regards with more or less terror in the expectation--which terror it is the object of mrs. drake to dispel."--_rochester herald._ "there is nothing in the book that could not be proclaimed from the house-tops, and there is everything in it that intelligent and thoughtful women should read and keep for their daughters to read when the proper time comes."--_newark daily advertiser._ a new book by charles frederic goss more important than the simple or the strenuous life is the home life "husband, wife and home" by charles frederic goss author of "the redemption of david corson," etc., etc. "this is the kind of book that one desires to read aloud to all the family. its captivating stories, humorous often, pathetic at times, will brighten one's face into a broad smile or bring the tear unbidden. the stories are the windows that dr. goss opens upon the practical themes that brighten every page of this winsome book. it will drive away the "blues" and make a cross and glum person look pleasant and feel pleasant. the divorce courts would be forced to go out of business if its blessed home truths were put into practice." enthusiastically endorsed by the press "there are nearly fifty short chapters. it boxes the compass of its subject, skipping no point. wide experience and keen observation of real life yield material which is treated with plain, common sense, good wit and no lack of humor. thus it hits the need of the average man and woman, and all others that reckon themselves above the average. the whole book is pervaded by strong and pure moral feeling, and the chapters are well dotted with pithy anecdotes and amusing stories."--_the outlook._ "these talks are practical, pungent and full of the sap of experience."--_bookseller, newsdealer and stationer._ "the call of the hour is for such a book as this to be read and heeded. every chapter is on a subject bound to come up sooner or later, and discussed plainly but from a high christian 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the christian's power. disclosures in the cloud. healing and living waters. the concealed future. suspended animation. the source of power. lessons from the leaves. etc. just published. new revised edition. five-minute object sermons to children through eye-gate and ear-gate into the city of child-soul by sylvanus stall, d.d. a book for preachers, teachers, parents and all interested in the training and culture of children. enthusiastically commended "these little delightful sermons are models at point and brevity, and reach the little hearts through the eye and ear."--_christian observer._ "boys and girls will devour every one of them with relish, whilst we children of a larger growth will be children again."--_lutheran observer._ "these sermons cannot help being suggestive to every preacher who would interest children, and they also have a much wider scope than for the pulpit. the book should be eagerly sought by all sunday-school teachers, leaders of children's meetings and the clergymen of all churches."--_wesleyan methodist._ "dr. stall has the happy faculty of presenting to children, sober truths in a manner interesting to them. the author's object is to implant in the child's mind seeds of truth and love, nobleness and justice, and all the virtues that go to make a manly boy and womanly girl, as well as a god-loving child."--_boston times._ talks to the king's children _second series of "five-minute object sermons"_ by sylvanus stall, d.d. invaluable in the home, the sunday school, the pastor's library, the mission field a children's preacher "dr. stall has few equals in this particular line of writing. he shows a fine reserve in not allowing the object used to overshadow the truth taught."--_nashville christian advocate._ "the rev. dr. sylvanus stall is one of the best preachers for young people in the american pulpit. his 'five-minute object sermons' to children was an ideal book in its class. the present volume is a second series of the same kind, and will be found to have no less point and charm than the volume published two years ago."--_new york independent._ "the author is well-known in this community, having been a pastor in baltimore city for several years. he is an adept certainly in furnishing bright, interesting talks to children. he writes with a vigorous, irresistible pen."--_baltimore methodist._ the children good judges "those who have had the genuine pleasure and profit of dr. stall's first series of children's sermons will welcome this second volume. we have read them with the children and commend them very highly. the children know a good sermon when they hear it."--_reformed church messenger._ "irresistibly interesting, especially to the young mind."--_christian work._ just published two important booklets by mrs. adolphe hoffmann, who is widely known in france, germany and switzerland as a talented writer, lecturer and educator. she is also prominent in the great reform and educational movements in europe. the social duty of our daughters _a mother's talk with mothers and their grown daughters._ by mrs. adolphe hoffmann an affectionate and confidential talk to mothers and their daughters on the responsibility, power and maternal duties of woman. these counsels should do much to dignify and elevate parenthood to the place intended by the creator. before marriage _a mother's parting counsel to her son on the eve of his marriage._ by mrs. adolphe hoffmann this booklet embodies the counsel of an earnest mother who imparts to her son the information essential to the happiness both of her son and his bride. _unique original uplifting_ god's minute a book of daily prayers, seconds long, arranged from january st to december st, a prayer to each page, _written expressly for this book_ by the most eminent preachers and laymen in the english-speaking world. at the top of each page is a selection of scripture on encouragement to prayer. prayers by drs. wilfred t. grenfell, w.w. keen; reverend doctors, f.b. meyer, john clifford, james m. gray, timothy stone, david james burrell, washington gladden, hugh black; rev. w. griffith thomas; bishops w.a. quayle, charles e. woodcock; president e.y. mullins, mrs. alice hegan rice, author of "mrs. wiggs of the cabbage patch." clinton scollard contributes an original poem. _full cloth bound, printed on thin rag feather-weight paper, pages. specially priced at cents a copy, cloth; in leatherette, $ . ; in art leather, $ . ._ the vir publishing company philadelphia, pa., u.s.a.: n. fifteenth st. london: , imperial arcade, ludgate circus, e.c. canada: ryerson press, queen and john streets [illustration] "_touchstones of success_" written by _ present day men of achievement especially for this book_ opinions of great business men _from a california national bank_: "please find enclosed order for five copies of 'touchstones of success,' which we will keep in the bank for the present and future young men to read at their leisure time at the expense of the bank." _from a widely known california engineer_: "i enclose check for $ . for eight copies of touchstones of success'." _from a big business man, boston, mass_: "this is a splendid book for young men and it ought to be of great value to them." _from a prominent manufacturer in detroit_: "please send six copies of the book. i want to distribute them among some of the employees in our office." _from a great manufacturing concern of st. louis_: "i am passing copies of the book among the boys in our office because it contains some wonderful messages." _from a widely known new york jurist_: "i am enclosing my check for $ . , which makes $ . that i have invested in extra copies of this book, so you know what i think of it." _price, full cloth bound, $ . net per copy_ the publishers: _the_ vir publishing company - : north th street, philadelphia, pa. _a book about our wonderful bodies_ marvels of our bodily dwelling _by_ mrs. mary wood-allen, m.d. _author of_ "what a young girl ought to know," etc. introduction by sylvanus stall. d.d. in the form of an allegory--comparing each part of the human body to its counterpart in a dwelling, the author has succeeded in making this human study as interesting as a sherlock holmes detective story. she has laid under contribution the best scientific authorities and this book will be found abreast of the science of today. _cloth with cover in four colors, stamped in gold. pages with fine half-tone pictures and line drawings._ _a marvelous book upon a marvelous subject_ the vir publishing company philadelphia. pa., u.s.a.: n. th street london: , imperial arcade, ludgate circus, e.c. toronto: ryerson press, richmond street. w. bible selections for daily devotion selected and arranged by sylvanus stall, d.d. this book brings to family worship passages best suited in character and length to such service. it is intended to relieve the father or mother of perplexity and apprehension concerning the passages to be read, and to enable them to bring to the service that frame of mind indispensable to the conduct of real worship. the gospel narrative is chronologically arranged. the text is from the authorized version, while the verses are merged into paragraphs as in the revised edition. difficult words are pronounced. the selections are suited not only for use in family worship, but for the chapel service of colleges, universities, and by teachers in the opening services of public schools. readings are from three to five minutes in length. _cloth. pages. price, $ . net._ the vir publishing company philadelphia, pa., u.s.a.: n. th street london: , imperial arcade, ludgate circus, e.c. toronto: ryerson press, queen and john streets * * * * * [illustration: mary wood-allen, m. d.] teaching truth series almost a woman by mary wood-allen, m. d. author of "teaching truth"; "almost a man"; "child-confidence rewarded;" "caring for the baby"; "the man wonderful"; "ideal married life;" etc. "standing with reluctant feet where the brook and river meet, womanhood and childhood fleet! * * * * * like the swell of some sweet tune morning rises into noon, may glides onward into june." --longfellow. "earth's noblest thing, a woman perfected." --james russell lowell. published by the arthur h. crist co. cooperstown, n. y. copyrighted by crist, scott & parshall all rights reserved. entered at stationer's hall. contents. prelude. chapter i. chapter ii. chapter iii. chapter iv. prelude. mr. wayne, glancing out of the window, saw some one passing down the front steps. suddenly a look of recognition came into his face, and he turned to his wife with the exclamation, "i declare, mary, our daughter helen is almost a woman, isn't she?" "yes," replied mrs. wayne, coming to his side and watching the slender figure going down the street. her face bore a look of motherly pride, but she sighed, as she said, "yes, time and death are equally inexorable; they both take our babies from us." "but not after the same fashion," replied mr. wayne. "death takes them from our sight, where we cannot witness their growth and development, cannot know into what beauty they have blossomed." "still," said mrs. wayne, "we do not recognize the changes time makes until they are accomplished. so gradually does the blossom unfold that there is no day to which we can point as the day on which the bud became the full blown flower. on what day did helen cease to be a baby and become a child? on what day will she cease to be a child and become a woman?" "we will know when the actual physical change takes place, but even after that i trust there will remain to us something of our little girl. i do not like to think of her approaching the sentimental age. how old is she?" "thirteen." "well, we need have no present fear of a sudden development of sentimentality." "fortunately, no," replied mrs. wayne, "though many a mother of girls no older than helen is troubled with the question of beaux. helen, however, has had the good fortune to have for friends boys who seemed to enjoy her comradeship, and i have been very careful not to suggest that their relation could possibly border on the sentimental. so far, she has been perfectly obedient and ever ready to adopt my ideas on all subjects. we have been such close friends that i believe i am acquainted with her inmost thoughts, and if she had felt any romantic emotions i believe she would have confessed them to me." "happy mother!" said mr. wayne approvingly, "i wish all girls found in their mothers their closest friends and confidants. by the way, you have always talked freely to her about life's mysteries; have you explained her approaching womanhood to her?" "not yet," was the reply. "perhaps i have been a little unwilling to believe that she is really nearing that crisis. i cannot bear to lose my little girl," and mrs. wayne looked into her husband's face, smiling through her tears. "yes, i can understand that," he said, "and yet we believe that only through the normal development of her physical nature can she be the 'woman perfected.' i beg of you not to postpone your instruction too long. i am more and more convinced that right knowledge not only safeguards purity, but really produces true modesty. to give a young person a reverent knowledge of self is to insure that delicacy of thought which preserves the bloom of modesty. if the girls who are engaged in street flirtations could only be taught the lesson of true womanhood, i am sure they would become quiet and lady-like in conduct. i would rather lose my little girl altogether than have her fall into this error. you have no hesitancy about speaking to her?" "not in the least. but i have thought that perhaps she would indicate by some question that her mind was becoming ready for the disclosure. it always seems to me that to force information before the mind is ready to receive it, is to jeopardize its reception." "don't wait, mary. you risk too much by allowing some one else the opportunity to give her the knowledge with the taint of evil suggestion." "you are right,--and i could not bear that anyone else should explain to her all these mysteries. i have always been her teacher and i will not relinquish that privilege. i will seize the very first that will allow us uninterrupted time. "but do you not think that you as a father should have some part in this blessed work of guiding our daughter? i believe that it will be most helpful to her to get the man's view on the problems of her life. you know, one never gets a true perspective of material objects with only one eye; and i believe this is equally true of life. i can give her the woman's view, but she needs to know also how men look upon life. she will be better able to judge of the right or wrong of conduct if she knows that my view is supported by your own." "you are right, as usual," replied mr. wayne smiling, "and you may rest assured that i will always be glad to supplement your counsel by my own." almost a woman chapter i. "mother." the clear girlish voice rang through the house with persistent intensity but awakened no responsive call. mr. wayne, coming up the steps, heard the repeated summons for "mother" and sent out his answering cry, "father's here." quick, light steps answered his call and an urgent young voice demanded, "where's mother?" "mother has been called away for tonight, so you'll have to put up with father." "o, dear!" sighed the girl despondently. "is father such a poor substitute, then?" inquired mr. wayne in an aggrieved tone. "o, no," responded helen, quickly. "you're usually as good as mother; but there were some special things i wanted to ask her about this evening. i suppose i can wait," she added, dolorously. "try me and see if i won't answer tolerably well. what are these weighty problems?" drawing his daughter to his knee as he spoke. "that's it," pouted helen. "you always make fun,--mother doesn't." "pardon me, daughter, i had no intention of making fun. i only wanted you to feel at home with me. it was a clumsy attempt, i'll admit, but really and truly i would like to be in your confidence--to feel that you trust me, too. i can't fill mother's place, i know, but i can do what mother can't, i can give you the man's view of things, and that is sometimes of great value for a girl to know." "yes," said helen, snuggling down in her father's lap, for they were great friends and she felt his sympathy. "i often wish we could know how things look to other people. i know boys don't look at matters as girls do, but we can't always tell just what they do think." "that is true," replied mr. wayne, gravely. "i often think that if girls knew just what boys say among themselves it would make them more careful of their conduct. "for instance, not long ago i was on a steamer where there was dancing. i went into the smoking room, and there i heard the comments of the young men. i am sure the girls had no idea how their dress, figures, freedom and flirtatiousness were criticised and laughed at by these young men, who seemed to them, doubtless, so very nice and polite. of course, these girls were mostly strangers to the young men and were getting acquainted without introductions, probably thinking it fine fun." "yes, father. i've heard some of the real nice girls talk about getting acquainted in that way, and they seem to think it all right. someway, it never seemed quite nice to me." "i hope not, my daughter. i should be sorry to have you form acquaintances in that way. you never can tell what a man's character is by his clothes or manners. indeed, you may think you know a man pretty well, and yet be mistaken. i suppose girls who are familiar with young men and allow them liberties imagine that they are trustworthy. i sat in front of two young men on a train not long ago. they appeared well and really were nice, as boys go, but they had the usual boy's idea as to honor. they were talking freely of the girls they knew, discussing their merits and charms, saying that this one was soft and 'huggable,' that another was sweet to kiss--" "o, father!" exclaimed helen, in a fury of surprise and anger. "they didn't talk that way so that you could hear! and call the girls by name, too?" "yes, they did, dear. then after they had discussed several, who all seemed to allow great freedom, they mentioned another name, and their whole manner changed. 'ah,' said one, 'there's no nonsense about her. it's 'hands off' there every time and'--he went on, with great emphasis, 'that's the kind of a girl i mean to marry. a man doesn't want to feel that his wife's been slobbered over by all the young men of her acquaintance.'" helen hid her face on her father's shoulder. "how perfectly dreadful!" she said. "they were not gentlemen." "i'll admit that,--and yet the conduct of the girls in permitting such freedom was really an excuse for their speaking so discourteously of them. the girls had not maintained their own self-respect, and therefore had not secured the respect of the young men. the girl who respected herself compelled respect from them, and that is the idea i wish to impress on your mind. never expect any one to respect you more than you respect yourself, nor to shield your honor if you have placed yourself in their power." "but, father," said helen hesitatingly, "most of the girls and boys think it no harm to kiss each other good night, and the girls say the boys would be offended if a girl refused." "they are mistaken. of course, the boys like to have the girls think so; but they don't talk that way among themselves, you may be sure." "but, you see, father," urged helen, hesitatingly, "they say they are engaged, and that makes it all right." "how long do they stay engaged?" asked mr. wayne. "do they really consider it a true engagement, to end ultimately in marriage, or is it merely an excuse for freedom of association?" "o, they're all the time breaking their engagements. i don't believe they expect them to last very long. now, there's dora ills. she's only sixteen and she says she's been engaged four times, and when she breaks the engagement she doesn't give back the ring. she's making a collection of engagement rings, she says." "it is very evident that she cannot have the highest respect for herself. i knew of a girl whose sister had been engaged several times and who said to her, 'why, lida, you've never been engaged yet, have you?' and lida replied, 'no, and i have made up my mind that i'll not be one of your pawed-over girls.' "her expression was not an elegant one, but it showed that she respected herself, and of course, she will be more truly respected by the young men if she does not permit them to approach too closely. a girl is very much mistaken if she fancies that a young man thinks more of her if she lets him be familiar. on the other hand, it is always true that he thinks more of her if she makes him feel that she is not to be carelessly approached. as one boy said to me, 'girls ought to know that boys always want most that which is hardest to get.'" "but, father, if it's so difficult for boys and girls to be together and act as they should, wouldn't it be best to keep them entirely apart until they are old enough to marry?" "that is what they think in the old world, and girls are kept shut up in schools and convents until they are grown; then their parents select a husband for them, and after they are married they are allowed to go into society. i am afraid our girls wouldn't like that,--they'd want to select their own husbands." "they could do that after they got out of school." "my observation is that the girl who has been shut up away from young men, is the very one who doesn't know how to act when she comes out of school. she has very romantic ideas, and is quite apt to be misled by a glittering exterior. she is less able to judge wisely or to guide her own conduct judiciously than the girl who, having been educated with boys, has less romantic ideas concerning them. no, i believe in co-education and in the common social life for both sexes; but with it i should ask that all young people should be taught to respect themselves and each other, and to understand their responsibility to future generations." "and what is that responsibility? what have we young people to do with future generations?" "just exactly what we older people once had. we didn't think of it in our youth, but we can see now that even then we were creating our own characters and at the same time the characters of our future children. now, i can see in you many of my own youthful characteristics. i can understand why you find it hard to do things that i'd like you to do, and easy to do some i'd rather you wouldn't do. and if, in the years to come, you have a daughter, she will be apt to be largely what you are now. all the efforts you make now to overcome your own faults are in reality helping to overcome those faults for her also. suppose the young people knew and thought of these things; don't you think they would judge more wisely of what they ought to do?" "why, yes, i know what i'd want my daughter to do, it seems to me, even better than i could tell what i ought to do myself." "wouldn't that be a good way to decide your own conduct--to do only those things which you'd be perfectly willing your daughter should do?" "but, father, tell me why it's so much more important for girls to be particular about what they do than for boys." "it's not more important." "well, people seem to think it is. the other day johnnie webster was going to a show and his little sister carrie wanted to go, too, and he told her it was no place for girls, and she said, 'then it is no place for boys'; and he said, 'but boys don't have to be as good as girls.' and his father and mother both heard it and never said a word. they only laughed." "it is unfortunately quite a common idea that boys and men do not have to be as good as girls and women; but it is not god's idea. he doesn't have two standards of morals, and i think the time is coming when men will be glad to live up to the highest level of purity." "don't you think it seems worse for girls to swear or drink or gamble than for boys?" "it does _seem_ worse, because we have had such high ideals for women; but to god it must seem no worse, because he judges of us as _souls_, not as men and women, and he has laid down only one rule of conduct for all souls." "i'd like to know how the idea ever grew that it was not so bad for men to do wrong as for women." "perhaps we cannot now see all the reasons for this state of things, but we can see at least one reason. many, many years ago men bought their wives, or took them by force from others, so they felt that they _owned_ their wives. of course, each man liked to feel that his wife was above reproach, that she really did belong to him; therefore, he held any lack of fidelity as a great sin against himself. but he did not think that he belonged to her. she had neither bought nor captured him, so she had no power over him, except such as she could gain by her fascinations. "naturally, he didn't care to be bound by the same rigid ideas to which he held her. he felt himself free to do what fancy dictated. the general level of morals was low, so he followed the pleasures of sense, and the wife could only submit, or try to be more fascinating to him than any one else. but if he was great and influential or handsome, and was not bound by any moral restraints, there would be other women desirous of gaining his attentions and the material comforts he might be able to give, and he would quite willingly think himself free to follow his fancy without censure. in this way has grown up the double moral standard, the pure woman holding herself to the strictest morality, and men imagining themselves not so sternly held to the narrow path of absolute purity. "women are not now slaves, bought as wives and valued for their personal charms alone. they have intellectual power and moral force and social influence, and they can, if they will, create the single moral standard,--that is, the one high ideal for both men and women." "o, father, do you think girls have as much power as that? it always seems to me as if girls might be of value when they are grown up, but that while we are girls we can't do much to make the world better." "that is the mistake girls generally make, when in fact the most important time of life is youth. it is while you are girls that you are forming your own character, and at the same time you are helping to form the character of the generations to come. you are of far more value to the nation now, while you are young and can make of yourselves almost anything you please, than you will be when you are old and your habits are fixed. if girls all lived nobly and exacted noble conduct of all their associates, boys as well as girls, it would not take long to settle all questions of reform. young men will be what young women ask them to be, and that, you see, makes girls of great importance. do you remember what we were reading in sesame and lilies the other day about woman's queenly power? get the book and let us read it again." helen brought the book, and, finding the place, read: "woman's power is for rule, not for battle, and her intellect is not for invention or creation, but for sweet ordering, arrangement and decision. her great function is praise. "there is not a war in the world, no, nor an injustice, but you women are answerable for it, not in that you have provoked, but in that you have not hindered. men, by their nature, are prone to fight. they will fight for any cause or none. it is for you to choose their cause for them, and to forbid when there is no cause. there is no suffering, no injustice, no misery in the earth, but the guilt of it lies with you. "queens you must always be: queens to your lovers: queens to your husbands and sons: queens of higher mystery to the world beyond, which bows itself and will forever bow before the myrtle crown and the stainless sceptre of womanhood." helen leaned her head on her father's shoulder in silence. then she said, softly: "it makes me almost afraid to become a woman." mr. wayne kissed his daughter tenderly, saying: "it is worthy your highest ambition to be a noble woman. i would be glad to see you such an one as is pictured in lowell's poem of irene. would you like to read it to me?" helen took the book from her father's hand and read. irene. hers is a spirit deep, and crystal-clear; calmly beneath her earnest face it lies, free without boldness, meek without a fear, quicker to look than speak its sympathies; far down into her large and patient eyes i gaze, deep-drinking of the infinite, as, in the mid-watch of a clear, still night, i look into the fathomless blue skies. so circled lives she with love's holy light, that from the shade of self she walketh free: the garden of her soul still keepeth she an eden where the snake did never enter; she hath a natural, wise sincerity, a simple truthfulness, and these have lent her a dignity as moveless as the center: so that no influence of earth can stir her steadfast courage, nor can take away the holy peacefulness, which, night and day, unto her queenly soul doth minister. most gentle is she; her large charity (an all unwitting, childlike gift to her) not freer is to give than meek to bear; and, though herself not unacquaint with care, hath in her heart wide room for all that be-- her heart that hath no secrets of its own, but open as an eglantine full blown. cloudless forever is her brow serene, speaking calm hope and trust within her, whence welleth a noiseless spring of patience, that keepeth all her life so fresh, so green and full of holiness, that every look, the greatness of her woman's soul revealing, unto me bringeth blessing, and a feeling as when i read in god's own holy book. a graciousness in giving that doth make the small gift greatest, and a sense most meek of worthiness, that doth not fear to take from others, but which always fears to speak its thanks in utterance, for the giver's sake; the deep religion of a thankful heart, which rests instinctively in heaven's clear law with a full peace, that never can depart from its own steadfastness;--a holy awe for holy things,--not those which men call holy, but such as are revealed to the eyes of a true woman's soul bent down and lowly before the face of daily mysteries: a love that blossoms soon, but ripens slowly to the full goldenness of fruitful prime, enduring with a firmness that defies all shallow tricks of circumstance and time, by a sure insight knowing where to cling, and where it clingeth never withering: these are irene's dowry, which no fate can shake from their serene, deep-builded state. in-seeing sympathy is hers, which chasteneth no less than loveth, scorning to be bound with fear of blame, and yet which ever hasteneth to pour the balm of kind looks on the wound, if they be wounds which such sweet teaching makes, giving itself a pang for others' sakes: no want of faith, that chills with sidelong eye, hath she; no jealousy, no levite pride that passeth by upon the other side: for in her soul there never dwelt a lie. right from the hand of god her spirit came unstained, and she hath ne'er forgotten whence it came, nor wandered far from thence, but labored to keep her still the same, near to her place of birth, that she may not soil her white raiment with an earthly spot. yet sets she not her soul so steadily above, that she forgets her ties to earth, but her whole thought would almost seem to be how to make glad one lowly human hearth; and to make earth next heaven; and her heart herein doth show its most exceeding worth, that, bearing in our frailty her just part, she hath not shrunk from evils of this life, but hath gone calmly forth into the strife, and all its sin and sorrows hath withstood with lofty strength of patient womanhood: for this i love her great soul more than all, that, being bound, like us, with earthy thrall, for with a gentle courage she doth strive in thought and word and feeling so to live. she walks so bright and heaven-like therein,-- too wise, too meek, too womanly, to sin. like a lone star through riven storm-clouds seen by sailors, tempest-tost upon the sea, telling of rest and peaceful havens nigh, unto my soul her star-like soul hath been, her sight as full of hope and calm to me; for she unto herself hath builded high a home serene, wherein to lay her head, earth's noblest thing, a woman perfected. "that is a beautiful picture of what a girl may be, and i'd be glad to see you making it your model." "yes," said helen, slowly. then, with more enthusiasm, "you know, father, i've always wished i were a boy. it seems so much grander to be a man than a woman. a man's life is so much freer, and he can do so much greater things, you know. of course, i shall try to be a good woman, but i wish women could do big things, the way men can." "what wondrous things can men do that women can't do?" asked mr. wayne with a smile. "oh," replied helen, clasping her hands with enthusiasm, "just see what men do. they build immense houses, and great bridges--oh, they make the world, and women just sit in the house and look on. i'd like to _do_ something." mr. wayne smoothed back the hair from the forehead of his enthusiastic daughter with a tender smile, as he replied, "it does seem on the surface as if men did greater things than women, but it is only seeming, my dear. it is just as grand a thing to be a woman as to be a man. true, woman's work does not show on the surface so plainly, but she works with more enduring material than does man in creating the world of things. we can see the great works of man's hands and they impress us with a sense of his power; but it is _mind_ that does the real work, and women have _minds_, or _are_ minds, you know." "yes, i know, but they must devote their minds to cooking and dishwashing." "i have seen women doing other things. in the old world i saw women digging ditches, carrying brick and mortar to the top of high buildings, ploughing in the fields; in fact, working just like men. the great buildings of the world's exposition erected in vienna in , were largely the work of women's hands. you are not anxious to exchange dishwashing for such work, are you?" "o, no, indeed; but it is man who plans such work and superintends its doing. a woman could not have planned brooklyn bridge, for example." "it is quite true that a woman did not plan it, but did you know that it was completed under a woman's supervision?" "no, was it? how did that happen? tell me all about it." "it happened this way. mr. roebling, who was superintending its construction, was taken ill, and his wife took his place and personally gave oversight to every part of the work until it was done. you see, her being a woman did not prevent her doing the work. but if she had been only a careless or an ignorant woman she could not have done it. it was _mind_, you see, and cultured mind at that, which was the master power. if she had not been working with him in making the plans, she could not have worked for him in carrying them out. instead of lamenting over your sex, you would better rejoice in the fact that you are a _spirit_, and realize that your power in all spheres of activity will be measured by the cultivation of your mental and spiritual powers." "but, father, even if i do cultivate my mind, i shall probably never have an opportunity to do such a grand thing as help to build a brooklyn bridge." "probably not, but you can do a greater thing. you can fit yourself to work on finer material than insensate stones. you can mould plastic minds. it is a far greater thing to wield spiritual forces than to manipulate inorganic matter." "but, all men do not merely make _things_. there are great statesmen, great soldiers, great writers." "true, but you would not want to be a soldier, i am sure. to kill is not a glorious profession. and to be a great statesman or writer is not merely a question of sex; it is a question of mind." "do you think women have as much ability as men? aren't men really smarter than women?" mr. wayne smiled at the girl's eagerness. "i do not compare men and women to decide their relative ability," he answered. "i believe their minds differ, but that does not imply that one is superior and the other inferior. each is superior in its own place." "but men's minds are so much stronger, father. women never can be on the same level as men." "bring me two needles of different sizes from your work basket. now, tell me, which is superior to the other." "that depends on what you want to do with them," replied helen. "if you were going to sew on shoe buttons, you'd use this big one. if you wanted to hem a cambric handkerchief, you'd take this fine one." "just so. each is superior in its special place, and both are necessary. this is just as it seems to me in regard to the ability of men and women. they are both minds; one strong, robust, enduring rough usage; the other fine, delicate, going where the first cannot go, and therefore supplementing it, and increasing the range of work that can be accomplished. the fine needle might complain that it could not do hard work, but do you think the complaint would be justifiable?" "why, no, i don't; but tell me what great things a woman can do--things that are worth while, i mean; something besides keep house and take care of children. it seems to me that merely to be a cook and nurse girl is not a very high calling." "she might be a chemist," suggested mr. wayne. "oh, yes, a few women might; but i mean something that i could be, or other girls like me who have no special talent." "there is a great need of scientific knowledge among women. every housekeeper needs to know something of chemistry. the woman who knows the chemical action of acids and alkalies on each other will never use soda with sweet milk, nor make the mistake of using an excess of soda with sour milk. and every day, in a myriad of ways, her knowledge of chemistry will be called into use." "then every woman should be a psychologist, most especially if she is to have the care of children." "o, father, you use such big words. tell me just what you mean." "i mean that the office of nurse or mother demands the highest study of mental evolution. more big words, but i'll try to make you understand. "it seems to you that any one can take care of a baby. but what is a baby? not just a helpless little animal, to be fed and clothed and kept warm. a baby is a spirit in the process of development. from the moment of birth it is being educated by everything around it; the very tones of voice used in speaking to it are educating it. it is a great thing to be president of the united states, but that president was once a baby. his life depended on the way he was fed and cared for; his character was largely created by the circumstances of his life; and his mental powers--which he inherited from both parents--were in his babyhood and early childhood largely under the training of some woman. that woman, whether mother or nurse, had the first chance to develop him, to make him worthy or unworthy. john quincy adams said, 'all i am i owe to my mother,' and that is the testimony of many of earth's greatest men. garfield's first kiss after his inauguration was very justly given to his mother. "god has entrusted mothers with life's grandest work, the moulding of humanity in its plastic stage. you have done clay modelling in school, and you know that when the clay is fresh and moist you can make of it almost anything you will, but when it has hardened it is past remodelling. it is just the same with humanity. in babyhood the mind is plastic; when one has grown to maturity, it is hard and unyielding. man makes _things_; woman makes _men_. which is the greater work?" helen hesitated. "it seems very noble as you talk of it, to train a child; but you know people don't feel that way. mothers cuddle their babies, to be sure, but men think caring for babies is beneath them. they sneer at it as woman's work." "not all men, dear. some of the great men of the world have spent years in the study of infancy, realizing that to know how the baby develops will enable them to understand better how to train it, and rightly to train babies is in reality to make the nation." helen, leaning her head back on her father's shoulder, was silent for a while, then she kissed him softly, saying, "thank you, father dear. it has been a beautiful talk together. i am sure it will help me to be a better woman." chapter ii. "well, daughter," said mr. wayne, as helen and he were sitting by the fire one sabbath afternoon while mrs. wayne had gone to her room to rest. "why,--" said helen hesitatingly, "there is something i have been thinking about, but i'm afraid you'll think it silly to ask you about it. you'll think i ought to be able to decide it for myself." "nothing that is of enough importance to be a problem to my daughter is silly to me. state your difficulty, and we'll see if we cannot clear it away." "well, father, i'd like to know what you think about boys and girls writing to each other. of course, i don't mean the foolish notes they send back and forth in school. i know that is silly, but i mean correspond. you see, paul winslow and robert bates are going to move away and they're asking the girls to correspond with them, and the girls all say it will be great fun; but i don't know. you know, mother has taught me that things that seem funny at one time don't seem so at another, and i've been wondering if this is one of those things. when robert asked me if i'd write to him i said i'd ask mother, and he seemed to get mad. he said if it was such a dangerous thing to correspond with him that i had to ask my mother, he guessed i'd better not write to him. i said i asked my mother about everything. and he said 'i suppose you show her your letters,' and i said 'of course,' and then he said he'd excuse me from writing to him. the girls all said i was very foolish; that it was perfectly right to correspond with boys you knew, and that our mothers wouldn't want to be bothered to read all the letters we received. but i know mother doesn't think it a bother, and i wouldn't enjoy my letters if i didn't share them with her." "you are certainly much safer to keep in confidence with your mother," said mr. wayne, "and i should say that a young man who didn't want you to show his letters to your mother is one you wouldn't want to correspond with. i should be afraid that he'd be one who would show your letters to his boy friends and perhaps make fun of them." "o, father! do you think that? it seems to me that wouldn't be honorable." "boys do not always have the highest ideals of honor, my dear. i remember once, when i was young, i was camping with a lot of young fellows. i think all of them were corresponding with girls, and these letters were common property. they were read aloud as we gathered around the camp fire in the evening; their bad spelling was laughed at and their silly sentimentalities talked of in ways that i am sure would have made the girls' cheeks burn with shame. they thought, of course, that the boy they wrote to would keep their letters as sweet secrets. i learned a good deal that summer about girls whom i had never seen. some of them i came to know afterwards, and i often wondered what they would say if i should quote from their letters some foolish sentimentality which they imagined no one knew about except the one to whom it was written." "then, father, you'd say we ought never to correspond with boys?" "no, i didn't quite say that. i can see that a friendly correspondence might be helpful. it seems to me that girls and boys can be a great help and inspiration to each other. i once had a girl correspondent who wrote most charming letters, simple recitals of her daily life with some of her little moralizings thrown in. perhaps i would smile at them now, but they surely helped me to have higher ideals and made me have a great reverence for womanhood. there was one thing about her letters that i thought strange then, but i now think it very wise. she always signed every letter with her full name, never with her home pet name. i have often thought of it, and i believe it is a good plan. certainly, if you knew that you would sign your full name to every letter, you would not be as apt to write foolishly as if your identity would be hidden under some nickname. and you never know what will become of your letters. a few days ago i read in the newspaper some foolish letters written by a girl to a man. she never imagined that any one else would read them. yet here they were, in print, and the whole country was commenting on them. they were all signed by some soubriquet such as 'your darlingest babe,' or 'little jimmy,' and under the shield of such a signature she no doubt felt safe. but a dark tragedy tore away the flimsy protection and every one saw all her foolishness and sin." helen shuddered. "i believe i'll make it a rule," she said, soberly, "to write only such things in my letters that i'd be willing to have printed over my own name." "that's a good resolution, and i hope you'll keep it. you can feel quite certain that if you don't want to sign your own name to your letter you'd better not write it. "there are a number of suggestions i would like to make to you along the line of your association with young men," said mr. wayne, after a pause. "you have had no experience as yet, but in a few years you will be a woman and maybe then you'll have no father or mother to give you counsel. as you know, i don't want to shut you away from the society of young men, but i want you to know how to make it of the greatest advantage to you and to them. "do you know, dear, that women and girls always make the moral standards which maintain in the society of which they form a part?" helen shook her head doubtfully. "i don't see how that can be," she said, "for everybody says that women are better than men; and i am sure boys do lots of things that we girls would never think of doing." "very true," replied mr. wayne, "but that is because the men and boys set higher standards for the women and girls than they in turn set for the men and boys. no boy would be seen in the street with a girl who was smoking a cigar; yet girls, good girls too, let boys smoke in their company. no matter how immoral a man may be, he always demands that the women who belong to him, his wife, mother, sister or sweetheart, shall be pure and above reproach. he will even claim that a wife's misconduct sullies his honor; but she never claims that his immorality is her responsibility. she will even marry a man whom she knows to be dissipated, foolishly trusting that her love will reform him. a broken heart and degenerate children too often prove how seriously she has failed. yes, dear, i am right in saying that women are to blame that men do not have higher ideals and live up to them. ruskin says, 'the soul's armor is never well set to a heart unless a woman's hand has braced it; and it is only when she braces it loosely that the honor of manhood fails.'" "it's putting a great responsibility on women, isn't it?" sighed helen. "yes, daughter, but no greater than is placed on man. each sex should be the protector and inspirer of the other. but instead of that, they often tempt and mislead each other." "good girls don't tempt boys, father." "i'm afraid that they do, dear. they may not be aware of what they are doing, but nevertheless they may be sources of temptation." "i really don't see how." "probably not, but i can tell you, for i remember my own youth and know how girls may tempt boys unwittingly. when in college i was a boarder in a family where there were several other students, and two or three pretty high school girls. one of them was very coquettish, and was always 'making goo-goo eyes,' at the boys, as they say now-a-days. she couldn't talk in a straightforward manner, but always with sidewise glances from downcast lids that seemed invitations to a nearer approach. "among the students was one who was very retiring and bashful. he rarely spoke to the girls and seemed quite embarrassed if they spoke to him. this girl seemed to set herself to work to flirt with him. she would glance up at him so appealingly that we boys couldn't help guying him about it. one evening when she was plying her arts--not with evil intent, but she loved to flirt and did not understand what that might mean to a young man--all at once he seized her around the waist and kissed her furiously. she was in a rage in a moment, and said some pretty sharp things about his lack of gentlemanliness. "he stood his ground without flinching. 'i'm as much of a gentleman as you are a lady,' he said. 'i have let you alone, but you have been tormenting me for weeks. you liked to try how far you could go, and thought yourself virtuous because you felt no temptation. you didn't care how you tempted me, or the other boys. you have tried your powers in public. o, yes, you are too good to be sly! and so i determined to give you a public lesson, and everybody here, i am sure, is thankful to me for it. now, perhaps, you will let us alone. we want to be good, we want to treat all women with respect; yet, when you pretty pink-and-white creatures smile and smirk and set us on fire, then you say we are bad, we are not gentlemen. maybe not. but we are men, and we should find in you the true womanhood which is our salvation.' "i can see him now, as he stood up so proudly, forgetting his bashfulness in his righteous indignation,--and we all applauded him, i am glad to say. the girl was offended with us all, and left the house and sought another boarding place. in her stead came a real, true, womanly girl. full of fun, a real comrade, ready to join our sports, to help us in every way possible, but always making us feel that we were in honor bound to protect her from even a flirtatious thought. every man in the house was her friend, some of them, i am sure, her adorers, but none ever ventured to approach her with familiarity. if she should meet any of us to-day, she would not have to blush in the presence of her husband and children at the memory of any happening of those days. "this is the kind of a woman i want you to be, my daughter dear, a woman realizing a woman's true place and power, as ruskin says, 'power to heal, to redeem, to guide, to guard!' just hand me the book and let me read you a few words from his essay on war. 'believe me!' he says, 'the whole course and character of your lovers' lives is in your hand. what you would have them be they shall be, if you not only desire but deserve to have them so; for they are but mirrors in which you will see yourselves imaged. if you are frivolous, they will be so also; if you have no understanding of the scope of their duty, they will also forget it; they will listen,--they can listen--to no other interpretation of it than that uttered from your lips. bid them be brave;--they will be brave for you; bid them be cowards, and how noble soever they be, they will quail for you. bid them be wise, and they will be wise for you; mock at their counsels and they will be fools for you, such, and so absolute is your rule over them.' isn't that a wonderful power that is in woman's hands? and it is true, as he further says, just here: 'whatever of the best he can conceive, it is her part to be; whatever of the highest he can hope, it is hers to promise; all that is dark in him she must purge into purity; all that is failing in him she must strengthen into truth; from her, through all the world's clamour, he must win his praise; in her, through all the world's warfare, he must find his peace.'" helen sighed. "it is so much to ask," she said. "has nothing been written to the men, how they must help and protect women?" mr. wayne smiled, as he kissed his little daughter and said, "whatever has been written for men i will keep to tell my son, and i trust it will help him to reverence all womanhood." chapter iii. as mrs. wayne and her daughter sat at their window they saw a carriage dash by containing a handsomely dressed woman. shortly after a very pretty girl passed the house, talking busily with a boy of her own age. "how funny some mothers are," said helen. "that was mrs. eversman who rode by just now, and that's corrinne, her daughter. mrs. eversman pays no attention to corrinne except to buy her pretty clothes, and scold her for carelessness. corrinne goes where she pleases. she has lots of beaux, and when they call she won't let her mother come into the parlor,--she says she doesn't want her 'snooping' around, and mrs. eversman only laughs. she seems to think it smart. and, mother, corrinne has such lovely presents from boys and young men. and when she goes to the theatre with a young man, she insists on having a carriage and flowers and a supper afterward. she says no fellow need come around her unless he has 'the spondulics,' she calls money." "poor child!" said mrs. wayne thoughtfully. "how little she understands the purpose of life!" "but she says she wants to have a good time," urged helen. "surely," was mrs. wayne's reply. "every girl is entitled to a good time, but that does not of necessity consist of spending money. i should think she wouldn't like to be under such obligations to young men." "o, i guess she doesn't think she is under obligations. she thinks they are under obligation to her for condescending to go with them. but, mother, ought a girl let a young man spend money on her?" "i hope, my dear, when you are old enough to go out with young men that you will care too much for yourself to be willing to take expensive gifts. a certain amount of expenditure is allowable. a few flowers, a book, or a piece of music, but never elegant jewelry or articles of clothing. that is not only bad taste but it is often a direct incentive for young men of small salaries to be dishonest. corrinne, and girls like her, do not know how much they may be responsible for young men becoming untrue to their business trusts, nor how much they might do to strengthen young men in their purposes to be honest. you remember aunt elsie and uncle harold. he is a man of means now, but he was once a poor young clerk. he admired elsie and wanted to show her every attention, but she knew his salary would not permit extravagance; so when he first asked her to go to some public entertainment, he said he would come with a carriage at the appointed time. at once she said decidedly, 'then i will not go. it is not far. if it is a fine night, we can walk. if it rains, we can go on the street cars. you may send me a few flowers, but we will not have an opera supper nor indulge in needless carriages!' of course he objected, and urged that he could afford it. 'but i can't,' was her reply. and years after, when they were married, he confessed that it was a great relief to him to be able to take her about in ways that suited his purse and yet have no fear of being thought mean. now he can buy her everything her heart can desire; but he acknowledges that he might not have been able to withstand the temptation had she in her younger days desired pleasures beyond his power honorably to provide." "mother," said helen after a pause, as two girls passed the house with their arms about each other's waists. "don't you think it silly for girls to be so 'spooney'?" "i certainly think it is in bad taste for them to be so publicly demonstrative, and i could wish that girls might be friends with each other more as boys are. now, there are paul and winfield. surely no girls ever thought more of each other than these two boys, and yet i fancy we would smile to see them embracing each other on all occasions, as lucy and nellie do." "i should say so! i've heard paul say, 'old chap,' or seen winfield give paul a slap on the shoulder; but they are never silly and they've been friends for years. but lucy and nellie have only been so 'thick' for a few weeks, and they'll fall out pretty soon. lucy is always having such lover-like friends and then quarreling with them. now, she and nellie are going to have a mock wedding next week. they call themselves husband and wife even now,--isn't that silly?" "it is worse than silly,--i call it wrong," replied mrs. wayne. "such morbid friendships are dangerous, both to health and morals." "to the health, mother? i don't see how that can be." "no, i doubt if you can, but i hope that you will believe me when i tell you they are dangerous. when girls are so demonstrative, when they claim to stand to each other as man and woman, you may feel assured that the relation is unnatural and that the drain upon the nervous system is very great. i once knew a girl who actually destroyed the health of a number of girls in a school by such demonstrative friendships. she always had one devoted friend who could not live without her. i have known a girl to cry day after day and actually go home sick, because her friendship with this girl was threatened. and it is said that another girl took her own life from jealousy of this one. "friendship is a grand thing when it is true and worthy, but a morbid, unnatural sentimentality does not deserve the name of friendship and i should be very sorry to see you fall into the toils of a morbid, unnatural relation with another girl. yet i should be pleased to see you having a sincere, womanly, noble affection for another girl, one which would not waste itself in sentimentality but be able to rise to heights of grand renunciation." "i think i understand you, mother, and i promise you i will try to hold the highest ideals of friendship." such talks as these brought mother and daughter into such close companionship that helen was not afraid to bring her mother the deepest problems of her young life. it was saturday afternoon, and mother and daughter were sitting together sewing. the rain was pouring, so that there was little fear of visitors, and while mrs. wayne was discussing with herself how she could begin to talk to her daughter of her approaching womanhood, helen suddenly said, "mother, what is the matter with clara downs? she is going into consumption, they say, and i heard sadie barker say to cora lee that it was because clara did not change into a woman. what did she mean? i thought we just grew into women. isn't that the way?" "you didn't ask sadie what she meant?" "o, no, the girls acted as if they didn't want me to hear, and then, i'd always rather you'd tell me things, for then i feel sure that i know them right." this little testimony of her trust in her mother furnished mrs. wayne with the desired opportunity, and she said, "in order that you may clearly understand sadie's remark i shall have to make a long explanation of how girls become women." "why, mother, don't we just grow into women?" "well, my dear, i shall have to say both yes and no to that question. girls do grow and become women, but women are something more than grown-up girls. this house is much bigger than it was two years ago. did it just grow bigger?" "why, no, not exactly. there are no more rooms now than there were before, but some rooms have been finished off and are used now, when before they weren't used at all, and so the house seems bigger. but it can't be that way with our bodies, for we don't have any new organs added or finished off to make us women?" "that is just what is done, my daughter." "what! new organs added, mother? what can you mean?" "i mean, dear, that your bodily dwelling is enlarged, not by the addition of new rooms, but by the completing of rooms that have as yet not been fitted up for use." "i don't understand you, mother." "i suppose not, but i hope to be able to make you understand. you have studied your bodily house and know of the rooms in the different stories, the kitchen, laundry, dining-room, picture-gallery and telegraph office,--in fact, all the rooms or organs that keep you alive; but there is one part of the house that you have not studied. there are various rooms or organs which are not needed to keep you alive, and which have, therefore, been closed. as you approach womanhood, these organs will wake up and become active, and their activity is what will make you a woman." "why, mother, it sounds like a fairy story, a tale of a wonderful magic palace, doesn't it? and clara downs hasn't got these marvelous rooms?" "yes, they are there, but they are evidently not being finished off for use. i think, however, the girls made the mistake of confounding cause and effect. they say she is going into consumption because she does not become a woman. i think she does not become a woman because she is going into consumption. do you know why we did not finish off these rooms in our house sooner?" "why, father said he had not the money." "that is right. he did not say that he did not have the money because he did not finish off the rooms." "my, no, that would have been absurd; but i don't see how that applies to clara?" "it needed money to finish off our house; so it needs vitality to change from girl to woman, and clara seems not to have the vitality. she is failing in health, hence she has not vital force to spend in completing her physical development." "but, mother, tell me more about this wonderful change. where are the new rooms and what is their purpose? i can't really believe that i have some bodily organs that i never heard of. what are they and where are they; when will they be finished off? i am all curiosity. didn't we study about them in our school physiology?" "you have given me a good many questions to answer, little girl, and i hardly know where to begin answering them. "in your school physiology you studied all about the organs that keep you alive. what did you learn about your bodily house? how many stories is it?" "three stories high, and then there is a cupola on the top of all. i like to think of the head as a cupola or observatory, resting on the tower of the neck and turning from side to side as we want to look around us." "and what is the furniture in the different stories?" "o, the upper story is called the thorax, and the one big room in it is the thoracic cavity. it contains the heart and lungs. the next story below is the abdominal cavity and it has a number of articles of furniture, the liver, the stomach, the spleen, the bowels, etc. then the lower story is--o, i've forgotten what it is called." "the lower story is called the pelvis." "o, yes, and the pelvic cavity contains the reservoirs for waste material. i remember you told me that once." "that is right. the pelvic cavity contains the bladder, which is the reservoir for waste fluid, and the rectum, the outlet for waste solids. but it contains more than these. it is here in the pelvis that these organs of which you have not heard are located. you remember when you asked me about yourself and how you came into the world i told you of a little room in mother's body where you lived and grew until you were large enough to live your own independent existence. did you ever wonder where this room is?" "why, i never thought much about it. i guess i just thought it was in the abdominal cavity. isn't it?" [illustration] "no, the room is a little sac that lies here in the pelvis. i can best explain it to you by a picture. here it is. you see it looks like a pear hanging with the small end down. it lies just between the bladder and the rectum, and a passage leads up to it." "o, i see. doesn't the bladder empty itself through that passage?" "no, the outlet to the bladder is just at the very entrance to this passage, but does not open into the passage at all. this passage is called the vagina, and the little room has two names. one is latin, uterus; the other is saxon, womb--it means the place where things are brought to life. the latin word is used by scientists, but the saxon word is used in the bible and by poets. do you remember when nicodemus came to jesus that he was told he must be born again, and he said in surprise, 'can a man enter the second time into his mother's womb and be born?'" "o, i see now what he meant. i could not understand it before. of course, he knew that was impossible, and so he could not see what jesus meant." "david says, 'thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. i will praise thee, for i am fearfully and wonderfully made.' poets sometimes speak of the womb of the morning, meaning the place where morning lies and grows until it is ready to burst forth in beauty on the world." "i like the saxon word better than the latin one, don't you?" "yes, but as scientists use the latin word we shall use that, so that we will know how to talk on these subjects scientifically. the uterus hangs suspended by two broad ligaments (marked _ll_ in the picture). there are also round ligaments from the back and front which hold it loosely in place. on the back of each broad ligament is an oval body called the ovary (marked _o_). "do you remember once seeing in a hen that ellen was preparing for dinner a great number of eggs of all sizes? that was the hen's ovary. _ovum_ means an egg, and _ovary_ means the place of the eggs." "o, mother, women don't have eggs, do they? i don't like that." "well, if you do not like to use the word egg we can say _ovum_, which, you know, is the latin word for egg. the plural is _ova_. or we may call the _ovum_ the germ, which means the primary source. the ovum or germ is a very tiny thing, so small that it cannot be seen without a microscope; laid side by side would make only one inch in length." "o, mother, that is wonderful." "yes, dear. the whole process of life is very wonderful and very beautiful. the uterus and ovaries belong to what is called the reproductive system. as i said, until now your vital forces have been employed in keeping you alive. your nutritive system, your muscular system, your nervous system and so on, have all been busy taking care of you only; but soon your reproductive system will awaken and begin to take on activity." "and what does that mean, mother?" [illustration: ova.] "it means that you are entering on what is known as the maternal period of your life; are actually becoming a woman with all a woman's power of becoming a mother." "but you don't mean that a girl of fourteen could become a mother?" "yes, it might be possible; but no girl of fourteen should be a mother, for she is not fully developed and her children will not be strong as if she had not married until after she were twenty." "but tell me, mother, all about it. i don't see now how the baby grows?" "well, i was showing you the ovary in which are many ova. as the girl nears the age of fourteen, these ova start to grow and once a month one ripens and is thrown out of the ovary. it is taken up by the fallopian tube, marked _od_ in the picture, and it passes down the tube into the uterus and through the vagina out into the world." "can one tell when it passes?" "no, but there is a sign that this change has taken place. the uterus is lined with a membrane in which are many blood vessels, and when the girl has reached this stage of development and becomes a woman, the vessels become very full of blood, so full that it oozes out through the walls of the blood vessels into the cavity of the uterus, and when it passes out of the vagina the girl becomes aware of it and knows that she has become a woman. "this process takes place once a month and is called menstruation, from the latin _mensum_, a month." "isn't it painful, mother?" "it ought not to be and is not, if the girl is perfectly well. but sometimes girls have dressed improperly and have displaced their internal organs, or they have exhausted themselves with pleasure-seeking, or in some other way have injured themselves, in which case they may suffer much pain. when girls get about this age mothers are very anxious about them, very desirous that they shall naturally and easily step over into the land of womanhood." "i should think that girls ought to be taught about themselves, so that they would not do the things which injure them." "i think they should, and that is why i am telling you all this to-day so that when the change comes to you, you will not be frightened and maybe do something from which you will suffer all your life long, as many girls have done. "the question of tight clothing becomes now much more important than ever before. you can see at once that the restriction of the clothing comes just over the part of the body where there is the least resistance." "oh, yes, i remember about the seven upper ribs, that are fastened to both spine and breast-bone; and the five lower ribs, that are fastened directly only to the spine and are attached in front to the breast-bone by cartilage; and the two floating ribs, lowest of all, and fastened only to the spine. i have often wondered why the important organs of the abdominal cavity should not have been better protected." "it was needful to leave the front of the body covered only with muscular structure, or it could not be bent and twisted about as we can now bend it, and that would have hindered our activity. just imagine yourself going about encased in bone from your shoulders to your hips." helen laughed merrily. "i shouldn't like it," she said, "but that is just what is done by the corset, and folks get used to that." "yes, they become accustomed to the pressure because the nerves lose their sensitiveness and no longer report their discomfort to the brain; but the injury continues, nevertheless." "mother, i wish you'd tell me just how tight clothing is injurious. so many of the girls laugh at me because i don't wear a corset, and they declare it does not hurt them. they all say they wear their clothes perfectly loose and they think they prove it by showing me how they can run their fists up under their dress waists." "certainly, that can be done even with a very tight dress, by just pressing a little more air out of the lungs; but that is not a true measurement. to learn if the dress is tight, one should unfasten all of the clothing, draw in the breath slowly until the lungs are filled to their utmost capacity. then, while the lungs are held full, see if the clothing can be fastened without allowing any air to escape. if it can, then it is not tight; but if the lungs must be compressed, ever so little, in order to allow the clothing to be fastened, it is too tight. you see, the power we have to breathe is the measure of our power to do, and to lessen our breathing capacity is to lessen our ability in all directions. "i saw a statement yesterday that will interest you. it was a recital of an experiment made by dr. sargent on twelve girls in running yards in minutes seconds. the first time they ran without corsets and their waists measured inches. the pulse was counted before running and found to beat times a minute. again, it was counted after running and found to have risen to . the second run was made in the same length of time, but with corsets on, which reduced the waist measure to inches. pulse before running ; after running , showing the extra effort the heart was obliged to make because of the restriction of the waist and consequent lessening of the breathing power. he also found that the corset reduced the breathing capacity one-fifth. "let me read you another little item: "'dr. dickenson has been studying the pressure of the corset. he says that in the ordinary breathing we have to overcome in the resistance and elasticity of chest and lungs a force of pounds. if the woman whose waist measure is inches wears a corset of the same size, so that her waist is not compressed at all, there is added a force of pounds. if her natural waist measure is inches and is reduced by the corset to - / inches, the pressure is pounds.' "when dr. lucy hall was physician at vassar college, she made some observations as to the mental powers manifested by those who wore and those who did not wear corsets. in a graduating class in which there were thirty-five girls, nineteen wore no corsets; eighteen members of the class took honors, and of these thirteen wore no corsets; seven of the class were appointed to take part in public on commencement day, and six of these wore no corsets. all who took prizes for essays wore no corsets; five girls were class-day orators, and four of these wore no corsets; five had not missed a day in four years, and one had not missed a day in six years. that speaks pretty loudly in favor of doing without corsets, doesn't it?" "yes, indeed; but some of the girls care more for looks than for class honors. they say a girl looks so queer without a corset." "that is because we have set up false standards of beauty. if we examine the finest statuary of all ages, we shall not find a single figure that has been accustomed to tight clothing. the artist copies god's ideal figure of the woman, not that of the fashion plate. you see, we have become so accustomed to the deformed figure that we call it beautiful, just as the chinese woman thinks her deformed foot is beautiful." "o, isn't it dreadful that the chinese bind up the feet of the little girls as they do?" "it certainly is; but not as dreadful as that christian women bind up the vital parts of the body and prevent their working as they should. one can live without feet, but one could not live without heart and lungs and other vital organs, and can only half live when these organs are cramped and crowded together so they cannot work properly. if we were all truly artistic we would be pained at the sight of the small waist, for we should know that it was procured at the expense of the vital organs. you have heard of the statue of the venus de medici, renowned as being the most beautiful representation of a woman's figure?" "o, yes, i have seen pictures of it." "a certain english actress was called a model of loveliness in form and feature. some one has made a comparison between the two. here are the pictures and measurements: [illustration] bust measure waist hip fig. bust measure waist hip fig. "you see how graceful the curves of the venus (fig. ), how abrupt those of the actress (fig. ), and yet to most people her figure looks the more elegant. but i want to call your attention to the fact that to create her figure is really to lose much space, and to crowd together the important vital organs until their working power is greatly hindered. this same actress has become enlightened and now says: 'of course, no woman can breathe properly in a tightly-laced corset. i am horrified when i think of the way i used to compress my waist, and look back at the pictures showing my hour-glass figure with positive amazement.' "don't you think it strange that we never want little rooms with furniture huddled close together, except in our bodily dwellings? the divine architect has given us grand apartments, with all the machinery harmoniously related, and we think we improve things by putting everything into the closest possible quarters and disturbing the harmony! but the damage is not done to the heart and lungs alone. the liver is crowded out of place until it sometimes reaches clear across the abdomen and is creased with ruts from the pressure of the ribs upon it. the stomach is also pressed out of place. it belongs close up under the diaphragm, but it is crowded by the pressure down until it lies in the abdominal cavity, as low down, sometimes, as the umbilicus, six or eight inches below where it belongs." [illustration: showing how much space is lost by constriction of the waist.] "o, mother, that seems awful." "it is awful, my dear, because the body is created to do certain work, and to do that work well, its laws should be regarded. we would not think of interfering with the works of a watch or a piano, because they are valuable, but we do not hesitate to interfere with the more valuable organs of our bodies, and we do not even think that we are offering an insult to the creator. "but i have not told you yet of the evil effects in the displacement of the bowels. do you remember how many feet of intestines there are in the body?" "about twenty feet of small and about four feet of large intestines." "and how are they held in place?" "why, i don't just remember." "the small intestines are encased in a membrane called the mesentery. it is just as if i folded this strip of cloth in the middle lengthwise and put my finger inside of the fold. the small intestines lie in the middle fold of the mesentery, and the edges of the mesentery are gathered up like a ruffle and fastened to the spine in a space of about six inches, leaving it to flare out like a very full ruffle. in this way, you see, the intestines are left free, and yet cannot tie themselves in knots as they might if but laid loosely in the abdominal cavity. [illustration: fig. .--a natural figure and a normal pose.] [illustration: fig. .--corseted figure producing abnormal pose.] "if the waist is constricted above them, they sink down and pull on this attachment, and that often causes backache and inability to stand or walk with comfort. it may also press the reproductive organs out of place, and so cause much pain and suffering at menstruation. "i am of the opinion that women were not intended to be invalids in any degree because of their womanhood; and very likely there would be much less flow at menstrual periods if women and girls lived in accordance with nature's laws." "but, mother, you have not told me what this blood is for. it seems as if it would not be necessary for women to go through such an experience every month." "perhaps we do not fully know why it should be so, but we do know when the little child is growing in its little room, the mother does not have the menstrual flow; so we may suppose that it goes to nourish the child." "o, i see, and when not needed for the child, it just passes away." "yes, and every time this occurs it says to the woman that she is a perfect woman, capable of all the duties of the wife and mother. this thought should make her think very sacredly of herself." for a few moments there was silence between mother and daughter, broken only by the sound of the falling rain. at length helen spoke. "mother, there is something i want to ask you about. you remember last summer, when mrs. vale and mrs. odell called on you, i was in the library and they did not see me. while they were waiting for you they began to talk of edith chenowyth and of something dreadful she had been doing. they called her a very bad girl. when you came in they spoke to you about her and you said 'poor child, i am sorry for her;' and they were quite angry that you should pity her. just before they left i made some slight noise, and mrs. vale said, 'i hope no one heard what we've said,' and you said, 'i hope not, i am sure.' so i thought you would not want me to know of it or i should have asked you about what it all meant. "yesterday i heard some of the girls talking and one said, 'did you know that edith chenowyth had a baby last night? she is down at old mrs. fein's. her folks have turned her out of the house.' then clara downs said, 'well, they ought to turn her out, acting as she has.' then they all said such dreadful things of her! and while they were talking, cora lee came up and said, 'o, girls, i am an auntie! my sister ada had the loveliest baby boy last night and my father gave her $ because it is his first grandson; and the baby's father opened a bank account in the name of charles wyndham bell. ada is just as happy as she can be and we are all so proud.' "now, mother, ada lee and edith chenowyth were in the same class at school; they sang a duet together on the day of their graduation and edith was just as lovely as ada. now she has a baby and every one scorns her, while ada has one and she is honored and loved. i wish you'd explain this to me." "well, my daughter, you see ada is married and edith is not." "yes, i know that; and yet that does not explain to me why a child should be an honor to one and a disgrace to the other. i know people think so, but i want to know why." "in order to make you understand why, i shall have to take you back to your lessons in botany. you recall how you learned there of the reproduction of plants. you learned that the pollen must pass down the style and fertilize the seed before it would grow; and you learned that the stamen, anther and pollen were the male part of the plant and the ovary, style and stigma the female part of the plant." "yes, and i remember that i thought it rather silly that in a school book the plants should be spoken of as people, as if it were a fairy story." "and yet, my dear, it was only stating an actual fact, and was not, as you fancied, a fairy story. there are really fathers and mothers among plants; if there were not there could be no new plant life. in some plants the male and female are united in the same flower; in other plants there are male and female flowers, but all growing on the same plant. in a third species all the flowers of one plant will be male, and all of another plant will be female. the fertilization of plants is very interesting, for the insects and the bees and the breezes often carry the pollen of the male flowers to the female flowers, and so the seeds are fertilized. "when we come to study reproduction among the human race, we find the same plan; in fact, we find it in all forms of organized life, plants, animals and man. that is, there must be fathers as well as mothers. [illustration: spermatozoa.] "i told you of the germ or ovum that is produced by the ovary of the woman. that ovum of itself could never become a new being. it must be united with a life-giving principle furnished by the man. this principle consists of a fluid in which float tiny little creatures called spermatozoa--one is a spermatozoon. here is a picture of some. they are too small to be seen without the aid of a microscope. they are about / of an inch long, that is, of them laid end to end, would cover only an inch in length. "if an ovum starts from the ovary and is not hindered, it will pass on through the uterus and the vagina into the world, and that is the end of it; but if, when the ovum starts from the ovary to make its way through the tube, the spermatozoa are deposited here at the mouth of the uterus, they will find their way up into the cavity, and if one meets an ovum and enters into it, a new life is begun. the ovum will now fasten itself to the walls of the uterus and grow into the little child. "you can understand that, for the spermatozoa to be placed where they can find their way into the uterus, means a very close and familiar relation of the man and woman. "when two people have decided that they love each other so well that they are willing to leave all friends and ties of home, and in the presence of witnesses promise to live together always, and a clergymen has conducted a solemn ceremony and pronounced them husband and wife, it is perfectly proper for them to do what before would not have been proper. "they may go and live in a house by themselves, occupy the same room, bear the same name and be, in the eyes of the community, as one person. "if they desire to call into life a little child of their own, it is fully in accordance with the laws of god and man, and no one can criticise them. they have violated no ideas of purity or propriety. but you can understand that if an unmarried woman has a child, every one knows that she has had, with some man, an intimate relation to which they had no right, either moral or legal. they have sacrificed modesty and purity, and the child is a badge of disgrace, rather than of honor." "isn't it just as much of a disgrace to him as to her?" "yes, dear, i think it is, and so do many of the best people; but, unfortunately, there are many who do not think so, and blame the woman or girl altogether. and the man, very likely, does not blame himself. he says, 'well, she ought not to have permitted it,' and so he gets out of the way and leaves her to bear the shame alone. it is a cowardly thing to do, for in all probability he was the one who made the first advances and, had she been wise, she would have shunned the man who tried to lead her into wrong, into doing that which would forfeit her self-respect and the respect of the world. even the man scorns the woman whom he leads into disgrace." "i suppose girls don't understand it, do they? now, i did not understand, until just now as you have told me about it, and i believe lots of the girls are going into danger and don't know it. i must tell you something. yesterday as i was walking home from school with belle dane--you know her, don't you? isn't she pretty?" "yes, she is pretty, and i should imagine pert also. she has no mother." "well, as we were walking along, a young man passed us. belle smiled and bowed, and he bowed too. i said, 'who is that?' she said, 'i don't know, but isn't he handsome? i shouldn't wonder if he'd turn back and walk with us!' and sure enough, in a moment he was walking at her side, saying, 'what a lovely day? do you walk here every day?' and she said, 'yes, as i go from school. on saturdays i walk by the lake.' "'ah,' he said, 'i am thinking of walking there to-morrow. at what hour do you walk?' 'about o'clock,' she said. then he looked at me. 'does your friend walk there, too? i have a friend who'd be glad to come.' then i broke in--'no, i never walk by the lake.' then he bowed and left, and belle said, 'o, you little goose! why did you say you didn't walk by the lake? he'd have brought his friend and we'd have had such a good time. ten to one he'll bring flowers or candy, and we could take a boat ride. you were foolish.' and i said, 'i don't want to walk with young men, especially if i don't know them.' and she laughed and said, 'o, you'll get over that when you're older and learn what fun it is. my, he's a gentleman! see how nice he dressed and what pretty teeth he had and what nice words he used.' now, i thought maybe i was silly, but after what you have told me to-day, i think she is going in dangerous places and maybe don't know it. i am so glad you told me." "yes, poor child! it was just so that edith began. she met a handsome young man. she thought him a gentleman because he dressed fine. she let him hold her hand, then put his arm around her and kiss her, and so, little by little, he led her on, and she thought it was all so nice,--and now she is friendless and in great trouble." "mother, it makes me think of a little girl i saw at the seaside last summer. she was dancing on the edge of the waves. they came up and washed over her little pink toes and she laughed with delight. after a time the tide rose a little higher and the waves dashed over her feet and still she thought it fun; and then came one big wave and threw her down and carried her out to sea, and if there hadn't been some sailors right there with a boat she would have been drowned,--and all the time she thought it fun till the last wave came, and then she was frightened awfully." "your illustration is a very good one, my daughter, and i fear that poor belle is dancing in the gentle foam of a wave that will grow in power till it carries her out to sea, a lost girl." "mother, i really don't see how a girl can let a man become so familiar with her. i should think it would disgust her at once; and yet edith seemed like a perfect lady." "no doubt you will understand this puzzling matter better after a few years than you do now, but i can explain it to you partly. it is a part of human nature that men and women are very attractive to each other, and in a way that does not exist between men and men or women and women. it may be called a sort of personal magnetism. as they begin to develop into men and women, they begin to feel this new attraction. they want to please each other. new feelings and emotions are felt. if their hands touch, they feel a sort of electric thrill, even the glance of the eye may cause the same thrill. they enjoy it, and they do not know what it means. they do not know that, while it is pleasant, it is also dangerous. "girls are more ignorant than young men, because, as a rule, they have been taught less. the young men know more, but in all probability they have not learned from sources that are pure. the young girl does not understand that her coquettish glances and tossings of the head and simperings are so many intuitive efforts to awaken that sort of magnetic thrill in the young man. if she knew it, she would see that it is more maidenly to hold in check all actions that would tend to make the young man desire to be familiar with her." "but, mother, if it is not right to be familiar, why does god make us with those desires?" "god has given us many desires that are right under certain conditions and wrong under others and he has given us reason with which to control our desires. it is right to eat when the food is our own, but wrong to eat if we have stolen the food. it is right to enjoy the attraction of one to whom our heart and life is given, but otherwise we are defrauding some one else. you can understand that you would not want the man you are to marry to have had familiarities with many other girls, neither would he like to think that other men had been permitted to be free with you. "if you were going to select a dress that was to last all your life long, you would not choose goods that had been handled and were shop-worn. even so with husband and wife. each likes to feel sure that the freshest, purest love of the heart and modesty of person has been kept unstained from the slightest unwarrantable familiarity." chapter iv. "o mother, i am so glad you are at home again. i had a lovely talk with father last evening, but it wasn't you. he gave me lots to think about, though. he said that mothers need to have such a broad education; that they should even be chemists, mother, think of that!" "does that seem such a strange idea to you? really they need to be much more than that. they should be good teachers, to instruct their children, wise judges, in order to know what justice is, doctors of medicine so as to understand the first symptoms of illness and how to treat it, and surgeons so as to know how to bind up wounds, treat cuts and bruises and even how to reduce a dislocated finger if necessary. they should be physiologists so as to understand the laws of bodily health, and psychologists so as to know and obey the laws of the mental development of their children." "o, mother! how can one girl learn all those hard things?" mrs. wayne smiled indulgently as she replied, "o, she won't have to learn all of them at once. taken one at a time, through all the years preceding her marriage, she will find she can learn something of each without taxing herself too severely. for example, you can learn now how to take care of your own health, and that will help you to care for the health of your children when they come. you have already studied first aid to the injured in your physiology class. when you go to college you will study psychology as a part of your course of study." "what does that big word mean, mother?" "psychology means the science of mind. i said that mothers need to be psychologists; that is, students of the science of mind, so that they will understand the indications of the development of mind in their babies. a child gets the largest part of its education before it is six years old." "o, mamma, do you really mean that?" "i certainly do. in the first place, it has to learn, one by one, and by repeated experiments, its body. you do not realize now that you had to learn, one by one, and by repeated experiments, every one of the muscular movements that you can now make without thinking of them. you remember what hard work it was to learn the piano and that was only learning to use a very few muscles in a certain way. as a baby you had to practice hours a day before you could learn to hold anything in your fingers. your little hands flew about very wildly at first, but by constant practice you gained skill at last." "why, mamma, i never thought that a baby was practicing when it was throwing its hands about." "but it is practicing, and it keeps it up hour after hour, day after day, until it has learned to hold things, to pull itself up, to sit up, to hold its head up, to creep, to walk, to climb. "have you any idea what a wonderful feat has been accomplished when a baby has learned to walk? physiologists tell us that walking is continually beginning to fall and perpetual recovery from falling. it is a greater thing for the baby than those acrobatic feats which so amazed you the other day. "then the mental education begins also at birth. the baby is building his brain by everything he sees and does, and it is the mother's duty to see that this brain-building goes on in accordance with the law of his nature. every baby is a new being with a nature of his own, and what was good for his brother may not be good for him. the training that will give one child self-confidence will make a little tyrant of another; what would render one merely amenable to control might make a coward of another. so you see, my dear, that a mother needs to have great knowledge of the laws of mind and great insight in the applying of those laws to the particular cases she has in hand." "it really seems, mamma, as if girls ought to study all those things before they marry." "indeed they ought, but i fear they never will until they come to have a clearer idea of the value and importance of the mother's work. when they realize that the great and lasting work of the world is done in the homes, by the mothers, with their little children, then we shall have men demanding that girls shall be prepared for that important work by previous education. "there is another way, too, in which women are given great power over the destiny of the world, and that is through heredity." "what does that word mean, mother? i have heard it very often, but people speak as if it were something undesirable." "heredity means the passing on of traits or talents from parents to children. now, your eyes are like papa's. they are a part of your heredity from him. you have other features like him, and you have many of his traits. it has been easy to teach you to be orderly because you have inherited his love of order. then, too, you have many of my characteristics. my hair, my love of music, my quick temper." helen looked at her mother somewhat in surprise. "do you mean, mamma, that i have a quick temper because you had one?" "i certainly do; and if i had known, when i was of your age, what i know now, i might have given you a different disposition." "will my children have a temper because i have one?" "there will be a greater probability of their having quick tempers because you have one." "how can i help it, if i got my temper from you and just passed it on to them? certainly i am not to blame." "many people excuse themselves for their faults in just that way; but that is to give evil greater power than good, and we don't believe in that, you know. each one has the power to make himself over, and in the process he may change the direction of the inheritance of his children." "you mean that if i overcome my temper, my children will not be so likely to have tempers?" "yes, by controlling yourself you will have given them greater power of self-control; that is worth working for, isn't it? if, when i was of your age, i had begun to govern my temper, i should have been helping you. so it is in every field of effort. if you are a good student and cultivate your mental powers to the best of your ability, you will make it easier for your children to be good students. now, in your young girlhood, you are working to help future generations." "but maybe i'll never have any children, mamma; what then?" "none of us can see our future, but if we are wise we will prepare for the probabilities. at your age i could not be sure that i would ever be a mother, and now i have several children to call forth every power that i possess through inheritance or by education. you are not sorry that in many ways i was wise enough so to cultivate myself that you have inherited desirable qualities; and you have cause to regret that i did not know now to do better for you. you can learn through my failures, and be kinder to your children than i have been to you. i can assure you of one thing,--even if you never have children, you will never regret having cultivated yourself in every talent and virtue, but you may have great cause for sorrow if you fail to develop the best in yourself. there is no grief in the world like that caused by wilful or wicked sons and daughters. their waywardness brings not only sorrow but self-condemnation on the parents who must feel that in some way they have been to blame, either in the inheritance they passed on or the training they gave. and there is no happiness equal to the just pride felt in honorable children. as solomon says: 'children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children are their fathers.'" helen was silent a moment and then asked, "don't you think the law of heredity a very cruel law? it doesn't seem fair that children should be punished for the sins of their parents." "god's laws are never cruel, dear. they are always made for our good, and they will be for our good, if we use them rightly. harry severn fell yesterday from a scaffold and broke his leg because of the law of gravitation. you might say that was a cruel law, and that god was unkind to make such a law whereby we can be so seriously injured. but think for one moment what that law means in the universe. if it were not for this mysterious force which we call gravitation, the whole creation would be in chaos. nothing would stay in place, buildings could not be made, people would fly off the earth and go, no one knows whither. why, all the suns, moons, and stars of the universe are held in place by gravitation. if we are ever hurt through the action of that law it is because we were not happily related to it, that is all. the law is good, and what we have to do is to learn to work with it. "it is just so with this law of heredity. it is the law of transmission. it works right along and transmits good or evil. it is our part to relate ourselves to it so that it will transmit mostly good. when we come to think of it, we see that that is what it principally does. health, and honesty, and virtue, all good traits, are so constantly transmitted that we do not think of their coming through heredity, just as we do not think of all order and stability coming through gravity; but when undesirable traits are inherited we complain of the law, just as we complain when we are hurt through the law of gravitation. but do you not see that it is the very fact that the law is sure, that it invariably transmits evil, is one guarantee of its surety in transmitting good? indeed, the bible tells us that good is transmitted in greater degree than evil. the third commandment gives us the law of heredity: 'for i, the lord thy god, am a jealous god, visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of them that hate me and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.' that does not mean thousands of individuals, but, as the revised version gives it, 'thousands of generations.' so you see what encouragement this law gives us. the evil in us is to be transient, the good everlasting. instead of being weighed down by our undesirable inheritances, we should be encouraged to overcome them and to cultivate our good ones." "mamma, don't you think the fathers have something to do as well as the mothers, in trying to give a better inheritance to the children?" "i surely do, and that is where i think a girl needs to be especially wise in the choice of a husband. if a man has traits or habits that she would not want her children to have, she should remember that, through the law of heredity, that trait is one they will be very likely to inherit. "girls quite often think it does not matter if a young man smokes, or even if he drinks a little, but when we study heredity we see what a threat such habits are to the health and welfare of his children. i remember when john orland was a handsome young man, he drank, sometimes to excess. kittie claiborne knew this, and her friends opposed her marrying him, but she thought she could reform him, and you know the result. her husband is a confirmed drunkard, as is her youngest son. the oldest drinks, too, though not to such excess, and you know that kitty orland, such a beautiful girl, has more than once been found under the influence of liquor. the second girl died of consumption, and the second son is weak-minded." "but, mamma, do you mean that this is all because mr. orland drinks?" "the observation of scientific men as to the effects of alcohol through inheritance would lead us to think so. i find this little item in the paper. you may read it." helen read-- "european scientists have recently given much attention to the physical degradation among children which they believe to be the result of intemperance on the part of the parents. a startling example was recently published in the _london daily news_: "some months ago a workman and his wife, accompanied by a small boy of four, waited on doctor garnier, the physician who presides over the insanity ward at the paris depot, or central police station. the parents were in great distress, and the story they had to tell was that on two occasions the lad, their son, who was with them, had attempted to murder his baby brother. on the last occasion the mother had just arrived in time to prevent him from cutting the baby's throat with a pair of scissors. "examined by doctor garnier, the child declared it was quite true that he wished to murder his brother, and that it was his firm intention to accomplish his purpose, sooner or later. "taking the parents into an adjoining room, doctor garnier said to the father, 'are you a drinker?' "the man protested indignantly. he had never been drunk in his life. his wife backed up his assertion. her husband, she said, was the most sober of men. "'hold out your hand at arm's length,' said the doctor. "the man obeyed. after a few seconds the hand began that devil's dance to which alcohol fiddles the tune. "'as i thought,' said the doctor. 'my poor fellow, you are an _alcoholique_.' "he questioned the man, who, with tears in his eyes, related that, being a brewer's drayman, it was his duty to deliver casks of beer to his master's customers, carrying the casks up to various stages. a glass of wine was occasionally offered him as a _pouboire_. the total quantity so absorbed by him amounted to a liter, or a liter and a half per day. this had been going on steadily for several years. "'with the result,' said the doctor, 'that you, who have never been drunk, have become so completely alcoholized that you have transmitted to that unfortunate baby in the next room a form of epilepsy which has developed into homicidal mania.'" "isn't it awful, mamma? i should not want to marry a man who drinks." "i sincerely hope you never will. but there are other habits that are evil in their effects. smoking, for example." "o, mamma, smoking isn't inherited, is it?" "well, i don't know but we might say that it is. i knew a woman who was an inveterate smoker. when her baby was born, it cried night and day until one day the mother, nearly distracted, took the pipe from her mouth and put it between the baby's lips and it stopped crying at once, and after that she took that method to still its cries. you see, it had been under the influence of tobacco all the time before it was born, and when it no longer felt that influence it was uncomfortable until it had the tobacco again. you know how hard it is for a man to give up smoking. all poisons by long use make such an impression on the body that it suffers when the poisons are taken away. "tobacco paralyzes the nerves of sensation, so that feeling is lessened. that is why men like to use it. they think they feel better, when in reality they feel less, or not at all; and to have no feeling or power to feel is a dangerous condition. pain, or sensation, is our great protection, and to remove sensation by paralysis is to render ourselves open to danger. this paralytic condition may become an inheritance. many children have infantile paralysis because their fathers are users of tobacco." "i am glad my father doesn't use it," exclaimed helen with emphasis. "indeed, you may well be glad, and you can see to it that your children have the same cause for rejoicing. the girls of to-day have a wonderful influence on all time, the present and the future. i wish they knew how to use it wisely." "but girls think it is manly to smoke. i've heard lots of them say so. stella wilson says she wouldn't marry a man that didn't smoke; and kate barrows said the other day that she thought girls had no right to interfere with the enjoyment of men by asking them to give up smoking. she said she knew how nice it was, for she had tried it; and she said the most fashionable women smoke, and she means to smoke when she has a home of her own." "all of which only proves that she is a poor, ignorant girl who does not know her own value to herself, or to the world. she may yet have cause to weep over children made weak and nervous, or who have died because of her ignorance." "isn't it sad that ignorance does not save us from punishment?" "yes, but it does not. if you can't swim, you may drown, even while trying to save another. god's laws cannot vary to save us from the penalty of ignorance. "i wonder now, dear, if you are not beginning to see the greatness of woman's work. in her own vigor she creates health for the future of the nation. so you see whether you wear your overshoes or not, may be a question of importance to the race. by her virtue, courage, patience, purity, she is storing up those qualities for the men and women of the future. by her demanding of her future husband that he shall be without fear and without reproach, as clean in life and thought as herself, she is building up protections around the children of generations to come. even the young girls of to-day are creating national conditions for the future, are deciding the destiny of the nation,--yes, of the race. the great structures that men build will in time perish, but character is eternal. is it not even a greater thing to be a woman than to be a man?" "i begin to think so, and i think after this i'll try to feel that even i am of importance to the world, instead of regretting that i am not a man." teaching truth series all these books have been written with the utmost care and thought by such widely known and trusted authorities as dr. mary wood-allen, della thompson lutes, dr. emma f. a. drake, and emma virginia fish. prices are for books sent postpaid. almost a woman $ . teaching truth . child confidence rewarded . caring for the baby . preparation for parenthood . the boy and girl--adolescence . child, home and school . parents' problems . ideal married life . other works bible stories for children $ . animal stories for children . four little fosters . mothers' manual . husband and wife . baby's record . just away . mothers' and teachers' club booklet . the just away book is for mothers who have just lost a child--for such it is the most beautiful and helpful thing in the english language. see elsewhere our list of valuable leaflets. address all orders to american motherhood, main street cooperstown, n. y. ideal married life for one dollar and fifteen cents this book is one of the most valuable written by dr. mary wood-allen, and consists of closely printed pages. price $ . postpaid. a baby's diary would make very interesting reading were he able to keep one. by using our beautiful baby record any mother will find it easy and pleasant to record the development, cute sayings and doings, and important events in the little one's life. all the important events in the baby's life are arranged for in the book and are illustrated by appropriate poems and half-tone pictures. the book is five and one-half inches wide by eight inches long, is bound in stiff leatherette, either a beautiful white or a delicate blue, with title in gold. in addition to many pages of pictures and verses the book provides blank pages with printed headings for the following: baby's name, father's name, mother's name, place of birth, date of first photograph, ornamental frame inside first cover to hold photograph, description of day on which baby was born, weight at different ages, gifts and names of givers, first smile, first tooth, first outing, baptism certificate, first christmas, first birthday, change to short clothes, date of creeping, date of walking, first words, first day at school, wise sayings and doings, with six full blank pages in which to enter them. out of the thousands of orders we have had for this book we have not had one dissatisfied customer. price cents postpaid american motherhood, main st., cooperstown, n. y. valuable and inspiring reading for mother father daughter son teacher--your boys and girls need this information. all the leaflets have been revised and greatly improved. the new leaflets are handsome in appearance, printed on better and heavier paper, uniform in size-- - / x - / in.--and are especially adapted to go in an ordinary business envelope. best of all the prices are lower than ever, and include postage to home or foreign countries. how to order please order by number. the price is never given on less than of _one kind_. special prices quoted on quantities from to of _one kind_. leaflets assorted as you choose for $ . postpaid or for $ . . leaflets will be given as a reward for securing one _more_ yearly subscription to american motherhood outside of your own home. just away a story of hope _by della thompson lutes_ this book is the story of a young woman and wife who suffered and lost. from that time it portrays how she fought a noble fight and climbed to wonderful heights of happiness and helpfulness. every mother who has lost a child will find in this book the _greatest comfort to be had in printed language_ in the judgment of all who have read the book. it is really and genuinely one of the finest books extant. price c postpaid. leaflets no. price title of leaflet each sacredness & respon. of motherhood c $. teaching obedience c . proper diet children under years c . purification of desire c . pure life for two c . helps for mothers of boys c . a preventable disease c . the chamber of peace c . moral education through work c . a noble father c . parenthood and purity c . the bird with a broken pinion c . the angel's gift c . the cigarette and youth c . truth for lads c . the ideal mother c . impurity in schools; how deal with it c . what shall be taught & who teach it c . training the appetite c . work as an element in char'ter bld'g c . the father as his son's counselor c . confi'l r'lat'ns tw'n mother & dau'ter c . influ'ce of man'l train'g on character c . when does bodily education begin? c . johnnie and the microbes c . purity in the home c . the integrity of the sex nature c . the overthrow of coercion c . a friendly letter to boys c . conscientious compromises c . keep mother and me intimate c . adolescence c . to expectant fathers c . preparation for parenthood c . manual training in element. schools c . the confessions of a mother c . the arm around the boy c . the punishment that educates c . the child of the poor c . sitting at childhood's feet to learn c . the fussy mother c . to fathers of sons c . the girl & her relations with men c . truth for girls c . assorted for $ . assorted for . booklets. the cause of the child c each opening flower of manhood c " how to conduct mothers' clubs c " sex problems for young men c " mothers' and teachers' club booklet c address american motherhood -- cooperstown, new york. american motherhood is a magazine for mothers, edited by mothers. it is a magazine with a purpose and that is to give mothers practical help in the solution of the problems they meet each day. nor is the magazine lacking in interest to others besides mothers. fathers find it worthy of their attention; teachers find it full of helpful suggestions; workers in mothers' clubs and similar organizations could hardly get along without it; even the children look for it eagerly because of the things that can be read aloud to them. young mothers with babies in their arms are not the only ones who need help and advice; older mothers whose children are in the kindergarten, the grade school or the high school, feel their responsibility weighing on them with even greater force. special features the problem of the boy is one of the greatest parents and teachers have to deal with, therefore it receives especial attention in _american motherhood_. it is surprising to learn how many fathers read this publication closely. the adolescent period is to many the most trying and puzzling period in their children's lives. in this magazine they find that which enables than to understand the boys and girls who are passing through this time of storm and stress; so they are enabled to deal wisely with them, guiding than safely into a strong, noble maturity. the heart of the magazine is the parents' problems department. here is answered by the editor, and by a woman physician of splendid training and long experience, the questions submitted by the readers. how to wean the baby; what kind of clothes to dress him in; what food the prospective mother should eat; how to teach children to be truthful; how to break a child of whining; how to keep the active boy from wrong-doing; how to overcome timidity; how to secure obedience; what to do with the boy who wants to smoke; these and hundreds of other questions are answered with great care and thought. some of the best known educators of the day are contributors to the magazine. the articles are simple, practical and to the point, while the great aim of the magazine is to be helpful. trial subscriptions for new ones only: months for $ . , months for c. just away a story of hope _by della thompson lutes_ this book is the story of a young woman and wife who suffered and lost. from that time it portrays how she fought a noble fight and climbed to wonderful heights of happiness and helpfulness. every mother who has lost a child will find in this book the _greatest comfort to be had in printed language_, in the judgment of all who have read the book. it is really and genuinely one of the finest books extant. price, c postpaid. * * * * * transcriber notes punctuation problems have been resolved. other typographical issues have been changed and are listed below. author's archaic spelling and punctuation styles preserved. table of contents added. passages in italics indicated by _underscores_. transcriber changes the following changes were made to the original text: page : was jeaousy (no =jealousy=, no levite pride) page : was fearfearfully (for i am =fearfully= and wonderfully made.) page : was - (they are about = / = of an inch long) * * * * * none the task of social hygiene * * * * * by the same author studies in the psychology of sex. six vols. the new spirit affirmations man and woman the criminal the world of dreams the soul of spain impressions and comments essays in war-time. etc. * * * * * the task of social hygiene by havelock ellis author of "the soul of spain"; "the world of dreams"; etc. boston and new york houghton mifflin company printed in great britain. preface the study of social hygiene means the study of those things which concern the welfare of human beings living in societies. there can, therefore, be no study more widely important or more generally interesting. i fear, however, that by many persons social hygiene is vaguely regarded either as a mere extension of sanitary science, or else as an effort to set up an intolerable bureaucracy to oversee every action of our lives, and perhaps even to breed us as cattle are bred. that is certainly not the point of view from which this book has been written. plato and rabelais, campanella and more, have been among those who announced the principles of social hygiene here set forth. there must be a social order, all these great pioneers recognized, but the health of society, like the health of the body, is marked by expansion as much as by restriction, and, the striving for order is only justified because without order there can be no freedom. if it were not the mission of social hygiene to bring a new joy and a new freedom into life i should not have concerned myself with the writing of this book. when we thus contemplate the process of social hygiene, we are no longer in danger of looking upon it as an artificial interference with nature. it is in the book of nature, as campanella put it, that the laws of life and of government are to be read. or, as quesnel said two centuries ago, more precisely for our present purpose, "nature is universal hygiene." all animals are scrupulous in hygiene; the elaboration of hygiene moves _pari passu_ with the rank of a species in intelligence. even the cockroach, which lives on what we call filth, spends the greater part of its time in the cultivation of personal cleanliness. and all social hygiene, in its fullest sense, is but an increasingly complex and extended method of purification--the purification of the conditions of life by sound legislation, the purification of our own minds by better knowledge, the purification of our hearts by a growing sense of responsibility, the purification of the race itself by an enlightened eugenics, consciously aiding nature in her manifest effort to embody new ideals of life. it was not man, but nature, who realized the daring and splendid idea--risky as it was--of placing the higher anthropoids on their hind limbs and so liberating their fore-limbs in the service of their nimble and aspiring brains. we may humbly follow in the same path, liberating latent forces of life and suppressing those which no longer serve the present ends of life. for, as shakespeare said, when in _the winter's tale_ he set forth a luminous philosophy of social hygiene and applied it to eugenics, "nature is made better by no mean but nature makes that mean ... this is an art which does mend nature, change it rather, but the art itself is nature." in whatever way it may be understood, however, social hygiene is now very much to the front of people's minds. the present volume, i wish to make clear, has not been hastily written to meet any real or supposed demand. it has slowly grown during a period of nearly twenty-five years, and it expresses an attitude which is implicit or explicit in the whole of my work. by some readers, doubtless, it will be seen to constitute an extension in various directions of the arguments developed in the larger work on "sex in relation to society," which is the final volume of my _studies in the psychology of sex_. the book i now bring forward may, however, be more properly regarded as a presentation of the wider scheme of social reform out of which the more special sex studies have developed. we are faced to-day by the need for vast and complex changes in social organization. in these changes the welfare of individuals and the welfare of communities are alike concerned. moreover, they are matters which are not confined to the affairs of this nation or of that nation, but of the whole family of nations participating in the fraternity of modern progress. the word "progress," indeed, which falls so easily from our lips is not a word which any serious writer should use without precaution. the conception of "progress" is a useful conception in so far as it binds together those who are working for common ends, and stimulates that perpetual slight movement in which life consists. but there is no general progress in nature, nor any unqualified progress; that is to say, that there is no progress for all groups along the line, and that even those groups which progress pay the price of their progress. it was so even when our anthropoid ancestors rose to the erect position; that was "progress," and it gained us the use of hands. but it lost us our tails, and much else that is more regrettable than we are always able to realize. there is no general and ever-increasing evolution towards perfection. "existence is realized in its perfection under whatever aspect it is manifested," says jules de gaultier. or, as whitman put it, "there will never be any more perfection than there is now." we cannot expect an increased power of growth and realization in existence, as a whole, leading to any general perfection; we can only expect to see the triumph of individuals, or of groups of individuals, carrying out their own conceptions along special lines, every perfection so attained involving, on its reverse side, the acquirement of an imperfection. it is in this sense, and in this sense only, that progress is possible. we need not fear that we shall ever achieve the stagnant immobility of a general perfection. the problems of progress we are here concerned with are such as the civilized world, as represented by some of its foremost individuals or groups of individuals, is just now waking up to grapple with. no doubt other problems might be added, and the addition give a greater semblance of completion to this book. i have selected those which seem to me very essential, very fundamental. the questions of social hygiene, as here understood, go to the heart of life. it is the task of this hygiene not only to make sewers, but to re-make love, and to do both in the same large spirit of human fellowship, to ensure finer individual development and a larger social organization. at the one end social hygiene may be regarded as simply the extension of an elementary sanitary code; at the other end it seems to some to have in it the glorious freedom of a new religion. the majority of people, probably, will be content to admit that we have here a scheme of serious social reform which every man and woman will soon be called upon to take some share in. havelock ellis. contents i.--introduction page the aim of social hygiene--social reform--the rise of social reform out of english industrialism--the four stages of social reform--( ) the stage of sanitation--( ) factory legislation--( ) the extension of the scope of education--( ) puericulture--the scientific evolution corresponding to these stages--social reform only touched the conditions of life--yet social reform remains highly necessary--the question of infantile mortality and the quality of the race--the better organization of life involved by social hygiene--its insistence on the quality rather than on the conditions of life--the control of reproduction--the fall of the birth-rate in relation to the quality of the population--the rejuvenation of a society--the influence of culture and refinement on a race--eugenics--the regeneration of the race--the problem of feeble-mindedness--the methods of eugenics--some of the problems which face us ii.--the changing status of women the origin of the woman movement--mary wollstonecraft--george sand--robert owen--william thompson--john stuart mill--the modern growth of social cohesion--the growth of industrialism--its influence in woman's sphere of work--the education of women--co-education--the woman question and sexual selection--significance of economic independence--the state regulation of marriage--the future of marriage--wilhelm von humboldt--social equality of women--the reproduction of the race as a function of society--women and the future of civilization iii.--the new aspect of the woman's movement eighteenth-century france--pioneers of the woman's movement--the growth of the woman's suffrage movement--the militant activities of the suffragettes--their services and disservices to the cause--advantages of women's suffrage--sex questions in germany--bebel--the woman's rights movement in germany--the development of sexual science in germany--the movement for the protection of motherhood--ellen key--the question of illegitimacy--eugenics--women as law-makers in the home iv.--the emancipation of women in relation to romantic love the absence of romantic love in classic civilization--marriage as a duty--the rise of romantic love in the roman empire--the influence of christianity--the attitude of chivalry--the troubadours--the courts of love--the influence of the renaissance--conventional chivalry and modern civilization--the woman movement--the modern woman's equality of rights and responsibilities excludes chivalry--new forms of romantic love still remain possible--love as the inspiration of social hygiene v.--the significance of a falling birth-rate the fall of the birth-rate in europe generally--in england--in germany--in the united states--in canada--in australasia--"crude" birth-rate and "corrected" birth-rate--the connection between high birth-rate and high death-rate--"natural increase" measured by excess of births over deaths--the measure of national well-being--the example of russia--japan--china--the necessity of viewing the question from a wide standpoint--the prevalence of neo-malthusian methods--influence of the roman catholic church--other influences lowering the birth-rate--influence of postponement of marriage--relation of the birth-rate to commercial and industrial activity--illustrated by russia, hungary, and australia--the relation of prosperity to fertility--the social capillarity theory--divergence of the birth-rate and the marriage-rate--marriage-rate and the movement of prices--prosperity and civilization--fertility among savages--the lesser fertility of urban populations--effect of urbanization on physical development--why prosperity fails permanently to increase fertility--prosperity creates restraints on fertility--the process of civilization involves decreased fertility--in this respect it is a continuation of zoological evolution--large families as a stigma of degeneration--the decreased fertility of civilization a general historical fact--the ideals of civilization to-day--the east and the west vi.--eugenics and love eugenics and the decline of the birth-rate--quantity and quality in the production of children--eugenic sexual selection--the value of pedigrees--their scientific significance--the systematic record of personal data--the proposal for eugenic certificates--st. valentine's day and sexual selection--love and reason--love ruled by natural law--eugenic selection not opposed to love--no need for legal compulsion--medicine in relation to marriage. vii.--religion and the child religious education in relation to social hygiene and to psychology--the psychology of the child--the contents of children's minds--the imagination of children--how far may religion be assimilated by children?--unfortunate results of early religious instruction--puberty the age for religious education--religion as an initiation into a mystery--initiation among savages--the christian sacraments--the modern tendency as regards religious instruction--its advantages--children and fairy tales--the bible of childhood--moral training viii.--the problem of sexual hygiene the new movement for giving sexual instruction to children--the need of such a movement--contradictions involved by the ancient policy of silence--errors of the new policy--the need of teaching the teacher--the need of training the parents--and of scientifically equipping the physician--sexual hygiene and society--the far-reaching effects of sexual hygiene ix.--immorality and the law social hygiene and legal compulsion--the binding force of custom among savages--the dissolving influence of civilization--the distinction between immorality and criminality--adultery as a crime--the tests of criminality--national differences in laying down the boundary between criminal and immoral acts--france--germany--england--the united states--police administration--police methods in the united states--national differences in the regulation of the trade in alcohol--prohibition in the united states--origin of the american method of dealing with immorality--russia--historical fluctuations in methods of dealing with immorality and prostitution--homosexuality--holland--the age of consent--moral legislation in england--in the united states--the raines law--america attempts to suppress prostitution--their futility--german methods of regulating prostitution--the sound method of approaching immorality--training in sexual hygiene--education in personal and social responsibility x.--the war against war why the problem of war is specially urgent to-day--the beneficial effects of war in barbarous ages--civilization renders the ultimate disappearance of war inevitable--the introduction of law in disputes between individuals involves the introduction of law in disputes between nations--but there must be force behind law--henry iv's attempt to confederate europe--every international tribunal of arbitration must be able to enforce its decisions--the influences making for the abolition of warfare--( ) growth of international opinion--( ) international financial development--( ) the decreasing pressure of population--( ) the natural exhaustion of the warlike spirit--( ) the spread of anti-military doctrines--( ) the over-growth of armaments--( ) the dominance of social reform--war incompatible with an advanced civilization--nations as trustees for humanity--the impossibility of disarmament--the necessity of force to ensure peace--the federated state of the future--the decay of war still leaves the possibilities of daring and heroism xi.--the problem of an international language early attempts to construct an international language--the urgent need of an auxiliary language to-day--volapük--the claims of spanish--latin--the claims of english--its disadvantages--the claims of french--its disadvantages--the modern growth of national feeling opposed to selection of a natural language--advantages of an artificial language--demands it must fulfil--esperanto--its threatened disruption--the international association for the adoption of an auxiliary international language--the first step to take xii.--individualism and socialism social hygiene in relation to the alleged opposition between socialism and individualism--the two parties in politics--the relation of conservatism and radicalism to socialism and individualism--the basis of socialism--the basis of individualism--the seeming opposition between socialism and individualism merely a division of labour--both socialism and individualism equally necessary--not only necessary, but indispensable to each other--the conflict between the advocates of environment and heredity--a new embodiment of the supposed conflict between socialism and individualism--the place of eugenics--social hygiene ultimately one with the hygiene of the soul--the function of utopias index the task of social hygiene i introduction the aim of social hygiene--social reform--the rise of social reform out of english industrialism--the four stages of social reform--( ) the stage of sanitation--( ) factory legislation--( ) the extension of the scope of education--( ) puericulture--the scientific evolution corresponding to these stages--social reform only touched the conditions of life--yet social reform remains highly necessary--the question of infantile mortality and the quality of the race--the better organization of life involved by social hygiene--its insistence on the quality rather than on the conditions of life--the control of reproduction--the fall of the birth-rate in relation to the quality of the population--the rejuvenation of a society--the influence of culture and refinement on a race--eugenics--the regeneration of the race--the problem of feeble-mindedness--the methods of eugenics--some of the problems which face us. social hygiene, as it will be here understood, may be said to be a development, and even a transformation, of what was formerly known as social reform. in that transformation it has undergone two fundamental changes. in the first place, it is no longer merely an attempt to deal with the conditions under which life is lived, seeking to treat bad conditions as they occur, without going to their source, but it aims at prevention. it ceases to be simply a reforming of forms, and approaches in a comprehensive manner not only the conditions of life, but life itself. in the second place, its method is no longer haphazard, but organized and systematic, being based on a growing knowledge of those biological sciences which were scarcely in their infancy when the era of social reform began. thus social hygiene is at once more radical and more scientific than the old conception of social reform. it is the inevitable method by which at a certain stage civilization is compelled to continue its own course, and to preserve, perhaps to elevate, the race. the era of social reform followed on the rise of modern industrialism, and, no doubt largely on this account, although an international movement, it first became definite and self-conscious in england. there were perhaps other reasons why it should have been in the first place specially prominent in england. when at the end of the seventeenth century, muralt, a highly intelligent swiss gentleman, visited england, and wrote his by no means unsympathetic _lettres sur les anglais_, he was struck by a curious contradiction in the english character. they are a good-natured people, he observed, very rich, so well-nourished that sometimes they die of obesity, and they detest cruelty so much that by royal proclamation it is ordained that the fish and the ducks of the ponds should be duly and properly fed. yet he found that this good-natured, rich, cruelty-hating nation systematically allowed the prisoners in their gaols to die of starvation. "the great cruelty of the english," muralt remarks, "lies in permitting evil rather than in doing it."[ ] the root of the apparent contradiction lay clearly in a somewhat excessive independence and devotion to liberty. we give a man full liberty, they seem to have said, to work, to become rich, to grow fat. but if he will not work, let him starve. in that point of view there were involved certain fallacies, which became clearer during the course of social evolution. it was obvious, indeed, that such an attitude, while highly favourable to individual vigour and independence, and not incompatible with fairly healthy social life under the conditions which prevailed at the time, became disastrous in the era of industrialism. the conditions of industrial life tore up the individual from the roots by which he normally received strength, and crowded the workers together in masses, thus generating a confusion which no individual activity could grapple with. so it was that the very spirit which, under the earlier conditions, made for good now made for evil. to stand by and applaud the efforts of the individual who was perhaps slowly sinking deeper and deeper into a miry slough of degradation began to seem an even diabolical attitude. the maxim of _laissez-faire_, which had once stood for the whole unfettered action of natural activities in life, began to be viewed with horror and contempt. it was realized that there must be an intelligent superintendence of social conditions, humane regulation, systematic organization. the very intensity of the evils which the english spirit produced led to a reaction by which that spirit, while doubtless remaining the same at heart, took on a different form, and manifested its energy in a new direction. the modern industrial era, replacing domestic industry by collective work carried out by "hands" in factories, began in the eighteenth century. the era of social reform was delayed until the second quarter of the nineteenth century. it has proceeded by four successively progressive stages, each stage supplementing, rather than supplanting, the stage that preceded it. in sir edwin chadwick wrote an official report on the _sanitary condition of the labouring population of great britain_, in which was clearly presented for the first time a vivid, comprehensive, and authoritative picture of the incredibly filthy conditions under which the english labouring classes lived. the times were ripe for this report. it attracted public attention, and exerted an important influence. its appearance marks the first stage of social reform, which was mainly a sanitary effort to clear away the gross filth from our cities, to look after the cleansing, lighting, and policing of the streets, to create a drainage system, to improve dwellings, and in these ways to combat disease and to lower the very high death-rate. at an early stage, however, it began to be seen that this process of sanitation, necessary as it had become, was far too crude and elementary to achieve the ends sought. it was not enough to improve the streets, or even to regulate the building of dwellings. it was clearly necessary to regulate also the conditions of work of the people who lived in those streets and dwellings. thus it was that the scheme of factory legislation was initiated. rules were made as to the hours of labour, more especially as regards women and children, for whom, moreover, certain specially dangerous or unhealthy occupations were forbidden, and an increasingly large number of avocations were brought under government inspection. this second stage of social reform encountered a much more strenuous opposition than the first stage. the regulation of the order and cleanliness of the streets was obviously necessary, and it had indeed been more or less enforced even in medieval times;[ ] but the regulation of the conditions of work in the interests of the worker was a more novel proceeding, and it appeared to clash both with the interests of the employers and the ancient principles of english freedom and independence, behind which the employers consequently sheltered themselves. the early attempts to legislate on these lines were thus fruitless. it was not until a distinguished aristocratic philanthropist of great influence, the seventh earl of shaftesbury, took up the question, that factory legislation began to be accepted. it continues to develop even to-day, ever enlarging the sphere of its action, and now meeting with no opposition. but, in england, at all events, its acceptance marks a memorable stage in the growth of the national spirit. it was no longer easy and natural for the englishmen to look on at suffering without interference. it began to be recognized that it was perfectly legitimate, and even necessary, to put a curb on the freedom and independence which involved suffering to others. but as the era of factory legislation became established, a further advance was seen to be necessary. factory legislation had forbidden the child to work. but the duty of the community towards the child, the citizen of the future, was evidently by no means covered by this purely negative step. the child must be prepared to take his future part in life, in the first place by education. the nationalization of education in england dates from . but during the subsequent half century "education" has come to mean much more than mere instruction; it now covers a certain amount of provision for meals when necessary, the enforcement of cleanliness, the care of defective conditions, inborn or acquired, with special treatment for mentally defective children, an ever-increasing amount of medical inspection and supervision, while it is beginning to include arrangements for placing the child in work suited to his capacities when he leaves school. during the past ten years the movement of social reform has entered a fourth stage. the care of the child during his school-days was seen to be insufficient; it began too late, when probably the child's fate for life was already decided. it was necessary to push the process further back, to birth and even to the stage before birth, by directing social care to the infant, and by taking thought of the mother. this consideration has led to a whole series of highly important and fruitful measures which are only beginning to develop, although they have already proved very beneficial. the immediate notification to the authorities of a child's birth, and the institution of health visitors to ascertain what is being done for the infant's well-being, and to aid the mother with advice, have certainly been a large factor in the recent reduction in the infantile death-rate in england.[ ] the care of the infant has indeed now become a new applied science, the science of puericulture. professor budin of paris may fairly be regarded as the founder of puericulture by the establishment in paris, in , of infant consultations, to which mothers were encouraged to bring their babies to be weighed and examined, any necessary advice being given regarding the care of the baby. the mothers are persuaded to suckle their infants if possible, and if their own health permits. for the cases in which suckling is undesirable or impossible, budin established milk depôts, where pure milk is supplied at a low price or freely. infant consultations and milk depôts are now becoming common everywhere. a little later than budin, another distinguished french physician, pinard, carried puericulture a step further back, but a very important step, by initiating a movement for the care of the pregnant woman. pinard and his pupils have shown by a number of detailed investigations that the children born to working mothers who rest during the last three months of pregnancy, are to a marked extent larger and finer than the children of those mothers who enjoy no such period of rest, even though the mothers themselves may be equally robust and healthy in both cases. moreover, it is found that premature birth, one of the commonest accidents of modern life, tends to be prevented by such rest. the children of mothers who rest enjoy on the average three weeks longer development in the womb than the children of the mothers who do not rest, and this prolonged ante-natal development cannot fail to be a benefit for the whole of the child's subsequent life. the movement started by pinard, though strictly a continuation of the great movement for the improvement of the conditions of life, takes us as far back as we are able to go on these lines, and has in it the promise of an immense benefit to human efficiency. in connection with the movement of puericulture initiated by budin and pinard must be mentioned the institution of schools for mothers, for it is closely associated with the aims of puericulture. the school for mothers arose in belgium, a little later than the activities of budin and pinard commenced. about a young socialist doctor of ghent, dr. miele, started the first school of this kind, with girls of from twelve to sixteen years of age as students and assistants. the school eventually included as many as twelve different services, among these being dispensaries for mothers, a mothers' friendly society, milk depôts both for babies and nursing mothers, health talks to mothers with demonstrations, courses on puericulture (including anatomy, physiology, preparation of foods, weighing, etc.) to girls between fourteen and eighteen, who afterwards become eligible for appointment as paid assistants.[ ] in schools for mothers were introduced into england, at first under the auspices of dr. sykes, medical officer of health for st. pancras, london. such schools are now spreading everywhere. in the end they will probably be considered necessary centres for any national system of puericulture. every girl at the end of her school life should be expected to pass through a certain course of training at a school for mothers. it would be the technical school for the working-class mother, while such a course would be invaluable for any girl, whatever her social class, even if she is never called to be a mother herself or to have the care of children. the great movement of social reform during the nineteenth century, we thus see, has moved in four stages, each of which has reinforced rather than replaced that which went before: ( ) the effort to cleanse the gross filth of cities and to remedy obvious disorder by systematic attention to scavenging, drainage, the supply of water and of artificial light, as well as by improved policing; ( ) the great system of factory legislation for regulating the conditions of work, and to some extent restraining the work of women and of children; ( ) the introduction of national systems of education, and the gradual extension of the idea of education to cover far more than mere instruction; and ( ), most fundamental of all and last to appear, the effort to guard the child before the school age, even at birth, even before birth, by bestowing due care on the future mother.[ ] it may be pointed out that this movement of practical social reform has been accompanied, stimulated, and guided by a corresponding movement in the sciences which in their application are indispensable to the progress of civilized social reform. there has been a process of mutual action and reaction between science and practice. the social movement has stimulated the development of abstract science, and the new progress in science has enabled further advances to be made in social practice. the era of expansion in sanitation was the era of development in chemistry and physics, which alone enabled a sound system of sanitation to be developed. the fight against disease would have been impossible but for bacteriology. the new care for human life, and for the protection of its source, is associated with fresh developments of biological science. sociological observations and speculation, including economics, are intimately connected with the efforts of social reform to attain a broad, sound, and truly democratic basis.[ ] when we survey this movement as a whole, we have to recognize that it is exclusively concerned with the improvement of the conditions of life. it makes no attempt to influence either the quantity or the quality of life.[ ] it may sometimes have been carried out with the assumption that to improve the conditions of life is, in some way or other, to improve the quality of life itself. but it accepted the stream of life as it found it, and while working to cleanse the banks of the stream it made no attempt to purify the stream itself. it must, however, be remembered that the arguments which, especially nowadays, are brought against the social reform of the condition of life, will not bear serious examination. it is said, for instance, or at all events implied, that we need bestow very little care on the conditions of life because such care can have no permanently beneficial effect on the race, since acquired characters, for the most part, are not transmitted to descendants. but to assume that social reform is unnecessary because it is not inherited is altogether absurd. the people who make this assumption would certainly not argue that it is useless for them to satisfy their own hunger and thirst, because their children will not thereby be safeguarded from experiencing hunger and thirst. yet the needs which the movement of organized social reform seeks to satisfy are precisely on a level with, and indeed to some extent identical with, the needs of hunger and thirst. the impulse and the duty which move every civilized community to elaborate and gratify its own social needs to the utmost are altogether independent of the race, and would not cease to exist even in a community vowed to celibacy or the most absolute neo-malthusianism. nor, again, must it be said that social reform destroys the beneficial results of natural selection. here, indeed, we encounter a disputed point, and it may be admitted that the precise data for absolute demonstration in one direction or the other cannot yet be found. whenever human beings breed in reckless and unrestrained profusion--as is the case under some conditions before a free and self-conscious civilization is attained--there is an immense infantile mortality. it is claimed, on the one hand, that this is beneficial, and need not be interfered with. the weak are killed off, it is said, and the strong survive; there is a process of natural survival of the fittest. that is true. but it is equally true, as has also been clearly seen on the other hand, that though the relatively strongest survive, their relative strength has been impaired by the very influences which have proved altogether fatal to their weaker brethren. there is an immense infantile mortality in russia. yet, notwithstanding any resulting "survival of the fittest," russia is far more ravaged by disease than norway, where infantile mortality is low. "a high infantile mortality," as george carpenter, a great authority on the diseases of childhood, remarks, "denotes a far higher infantile deterioration rate"; or, as another doctor puts it, "the dead baby is next of kin to the diseased baby," the protection of the weak, so frequently condemned by some neo-darwinians, is thus in reality, as goldscheid terms it, "the protection of the strong from degeneration." there is, however, more to be said. not only must an undue struggle with unfavourable conditions enfeeble the strong as well as kill the feeble; it also imposes an intolerable burden upon these enfeebled survivors. the process of destruction is not sudden, it is gradual. it is a long-drawn-out process. it involves the multiplication of the diseased, the maimed, the feeble-minded, of paupers and lunatics and criminals. even natural selection thus includes the need for protecting the feeble, and so renders urgent the task of social reform, while the more thoroughly this task is carried out with the growth of civilization, the more stupendous and overwhelming the task becomes. it is thus that civilization, at a certain point in its course, renders inevitable the appearance of that wider and deeper organization of life which in the present volume we are concerned with under the name of social hygiene. that movement is far from being an abrupt or revolutionary manifestation in the ordinary progress of social growth. as we have seen, social reform during the past eighty years may be said to have proceeded in four successive stages, each of which has involved a nearer approach to the sources of life. the fourth stage, which in its beginnings dates only from the last years of the nineteenth century, takes us to the period before birth, and is concerned with the care of the child in the mother's womb. the next stage cannot fail to take us to the very source of life itself, lifting us beyond the task of purifying the conditions, and laying on us the further task of regulating the quantity and raising the quality of life at its very source. the duty of purifying, ordering, and consolidating the banks of the stream must still remain.[ ] but when we are able to control the stream at its source we are able to some extent to prevent the contamination of that stream by filth, and ensure that its muddy floods shall not sweep away the results of our laborious work on the banks. our sense of social responsibility is developing into a sense of racial responsibility, and that development is expressed in the nature of the tasks of social hygiene which now lie before us. it is the control of the reproduction of the race which renders possible the new conception of social hygiene. we have seen that the gradual process of social reform during the first three quarters of the nineteenth century, by successive stages of movement towards the sources of life, finally reached the moment of conception. the first result of reform at this point was that procreation became a deliberate act. up till then the method of propagating the race was the same as that which savages have carried on during thousands of years, the chief difference being that whereas savages have frequently sought to compensate their recklessness by destroying their inferior offspring, we had accepted all the offspring, good, bad, and indifferent, produced by our indiscriminate recklessness, shielding ourselves by a false theology. children "came," and their parents disclaimed all responsibility for their coming. the children were "sent by god," and if they all turned out to be idiots, the responsibility was god's. but when it became generally realized that it was possible to limit offspring without interfering with conjugal life a step of immense importance was achieved. it became clear to all that the divine force works through us, and that we are not entitled to cast the burden of our evil actions on any higher power. marriage no longer fatally involved an endless procession of children who, in so far as they survived at all, were in a large number of cases doomed to disease, neglect, misery, and ignorance. the new social hygiene was for the first time rendered possible. it was in france during the first half of the nineteenth century that the control of reproduction first began to become a social habit. in sweden and in denmark, the fall in the birth-rate, though it has been irregular, may be said to have begun in . it was not until about the year that, in so far as we may judge by the arrest of the birth-rate, the movement began to spread to europe generally. in england it is usual to associate this change with a famous prosecution which brought a knowledge of the means of preventing conception to the whole population of great britain. undoubtedly this prosecution was an important factor in the movement, but we cannot doubt that, even if the prosecution had not taken place, the course of social progress must still have pursued the same course. it is noteworthy that it was about this same period, in various european countries, that the tide turned, and the excessively high birth-rate began to fall.[ ] recklessness was giving place to foresight and self-control. such foresight and self-control are of the essence of civilization.[ ] it cannot be disputed that the transformation by which the propagation of the race became deliberate and voluntary has not been established in social custom without a certain amount of protestation from various sides. no social change, however beneficial, ever is established without such protestation, which may, therefore, be regarded as an inevitable and probably a salutary part of social change. even some would-be scientific persons, with a display of elaborate statistics, set forth various alarmistic doctrines. if, said these persons, this new movement goes on at the present pace, and if all other conditions remain unchanged, then all sorts of terrible results will ensue. but the alarming conclusion failed to ensue, and for a very sufficient reason. the assumed premises of the argument were unsound. nothing ever goes on at the same pace, nor do all other conditions ever remain unchanged. the world is a living fire, as heraclitus long ago put it. all things are in perpetual flux. life is a process of perpetual movement. it is idle to bid the world stand still, and then to argue about the consequences. the world will not stand still, it is for ever revolving, for ever revealing some new facet that had not been allowed for in the neatly arranged mechanism of the statistician. it is perhaps unnecessary to dwell on a point which is now at last, one may hope, becoming clear to most intelligent persons. but i may perhaps be allowed to refer in passing to an argument that has been brought forward with the wearisome iteration which always marks the progress of those who are feeble in argument. the good stocks of upper social class are decreasing in fertility, it is said; the bad stocks of lower social class are not decreasing; therefore the bad stocks are tending to replace the good stocks.[ ] it must, however, be pointed out that, even assuming that the facts are as stated; it is a hazardous assumption that the best stocks are necessarily the stocks of high social class. in the main no doubt this is so, but good stocks are nevertheless so widely spread through all classes--such good stocks in the lower social classes being probably the most resistent to adverse conditions--that we are not entitled to regard even a slightly greater net increase of the lower social classes as an unmitigated evil. it may be that, as mercier has expressed it, "we have to regard a civilized community somewhat in the light of a lamp, which burns at the top and is replenished from the bottom."[ ] the soundness of a stock, and its aptitude for performing efficiently the functions of its own social sphere, cannot, indeed, be accurately measured by any tendency to rise into a higher social sphere. on the whole, from generation to generation, the men of a good stock remain within their own social sphere, whether high or low, adequately performing their functions in that sphere, from generation to generation. they remain, we may say, in that social stratum of which the specific gravity is best suited for their existence.[ ] yet, undoubtedly, from time to time, there is a slight upward social tendency, due in most cases to the exceptional energy and ability of some individual who succeeds in permanently lifting his family into a slightly higher social stratum.[ ] such a process has always taken place, in the past even more conspicuously than in the present. the normans who came over to england with william the conqueror and constituted the proud english nobility were simply a miscellaneous set of adventurers, professional fighting men, of unknown, and no doubt for the most part undistinguished, lineage. william the conqueror himself was the son of a woman of the people. the catholic church founded no families, but its democratic constitution opened a career to men of all classes, and the most brilliant sons of the church were often of the lowliest social rank. we should not, therefore, say that the bad stocks are replacing the good stocks. there is not the slightest evidence for any such theory. all that we are entitled to say is that when in the upward progression of a community the vanishing point of culture and refinement is attained the bearers of that culture and refinement die off as naturally and inevitably as flowers in autumn, and from their roots spring up new and more vigorous shoots to replace them and to pass in their turn through the same stages, with that perpetual slight novelty in which lies the secret of life, as well as of art. an aristocracy which is merely an aristocracy because it is "old"--whether it is an aristocracy of families, or of races, or of species--has already ceased to be an aristocracy in any sound meaning of the term. we need not regret its disappearance. do not, therefore, let us waste our time in crying over the dead roses of the summer that is past. there is something morbid in the perpetual groaning over that inevitable decay which is itself a part of all life. such a perpetual narrow insistence on one aspect of life is scarcely sane. one suspects that these people are themselves of those stocks over whose fate they grieve. let us, therefore, mercifully leave them to manure their dead roses in peace. they will soon be forgotten. the world is for ever dying. the world is also for ever bursting with life. the spring song of _sursum corda_ easily overwhelms the dying autumnal wails of the _dies iræ_. it would thus appear that, even apart from any deliberate restraint from procreation, as a family attains the highest culture and refinement which civilization can yield, that family tends to die out, at all events in the male line.[ ] this is, for instance, the result which fahlbeck has reached in his valuable demographic study of the swedish nobility, _der adel schwedens_. "apparently," says fahlbeck, "the greater demands on nervous and intellectual force which the culture and refinement of the upper classes produce are chiefly responsible for this. for these are the two personal factors by which those classes are distinguished from the lower classes: high education and refinement in tastes and habits. the first involves predominant activity of the brain, the last a heightened sensitiveness in all departments of nervous life. in both respects, therefore, there is increased work for the nervous system, and this is compensated in the other vital functions, especially reproduction. man cannot achieve everything; what he gains on one side he loses on the other." we should do well to hold these wise words in mind when we encounter those sciolists who in the presence of the finest and rarest manifestations of civilizations, can only talk of race "decay." a female salmon, it is estimated, lays about nine hundred eggs for every pound of her own weight, and she may weigh fifty pounds. the progeny of shakespeare and goethe, such as it was, disappeared in the very centuries in which these great men themselves died. at the present stage of civilization we are somewhat nearer to shakespeare and goethe than to the salmon. we must set our ideals towards a very different direction from that which commends itself to our salmonidian sciolists. "increase and multiply" was the legendary injunction uttered on the threshold of an empty world. it is singularly out of place in an age in which the earth and the sea, if not indeed the very air, swarm with countless myriads of undistinguished and indistinguishable human creatures, until the beauty of the world is befouled and the glory of the heavens bedimmed. to stem back that tide is the task now imposed on our heroism, to elevate and purify and refine the race, to introduce the ideal of quality in place of the ideal of quantity which has run riot so long, with the results we see. "as the northern saga tells that odin must sacrifice his eye to attain the higher wisdom," concludes fahlbeck, "so man also, in order to win the treasures of culture and refinement, must give not only his eye but his life, if not his own life that of his posterity."[ ] the vulgar aim of reckless racial fertility is no longer within our reach and no longer commends itself as worthy. it is not consonant with the stage of civilization we are at the moment passing through. the higher task is now ours of the regeneration of the race, or, if we wish to express that betterment less questionably, the aggeneration of the race.[ ] the control of reproduction, we see, essential as it is, cannot by itself carry far the betterment of the race, because it involves no direct selection of stocks. yet we have to remember that though this control, with the limitation of offspring it involves, fails to answer all the demands which social hygiene to-day makes of us, it yet achieves much. it may not improve what we abstractly term the "race," but it immensely improves the individuals of which the race is made up. thus the limitation of the family renders it possible to avoid the production of undesired children. that in itself is an immense social gain, because it tends to abolish excessive infantile mortality.[ ] it means that adequate care will be expended upon the children that are produced, and that no children will be produced unless the parents are in a position to provide for them.[ ] even the mere spacing out of the children in a family, the larger interval between child-births, is a very great advantage. the mother is no longer exhausted by perpetually bearing, suckling, and tending babies, while the babies themselves are on the average of better quality.[ ] thus the limitation of offspring, far from being an egoistic measure, as some have foolishly supposed, is imperatively demanded in the altruistic interests of the individuals composing the race. but the control of reproduction, enormously beneficial as it is even in its most elementary shapes, mainly concerns us here because it furnishes the essential condition for the development of social hygiene. the control of reproduction renders possible, and leads on to, a wise selection in reproduction. it is only by such selection of children to be born that we can balance our indiscriminate care in the preservation of all children that are born, a care which otherwise would become an intolerable burden. it is only by such selection that we can work towards the elimination of those stocks which fail to help us in the tasks of our civilization to-day. it is only by such selection that we can hope to fortify the stocks that are fitted for these tasks. more than two centuries ago steele playfully suggested that "one might wear any passion out of a family by culture, as skilful gardeners blot a colour out of a tulip that hurts its beauty."[ ] the progress of civilization, with the self-control it involves, has made it possible to accept this suggestion seriously.[ ] the difference is that whereas the flowers of our gardens are bettered only by the control of an arbitrary external will and intelligence, our human flowers may be bettered by an intelligence and will, a finer sense of responsibility, developed within themselves. thus it is that human culture renders possible social hygiene. three centuries ago an inspired monk set forth his ideal of an ennobled world in _the city of the sun_. campanella wrote that prophetic book in prison. but his spirit was unfettered, and his conception of human society, though in daring it outruns all the visions we may compare it with, is yet on the lines along which our civilization lies. in the city of the sun not only was the nobility of work, even mechanical work,--which plato rejected and more was scarcely conscious of,--for the first time recognized, but the supreme impulse of procreation was regarded as a sacred function, to be exercised in the light of scientific knowledge. it was a public rather than a private duty, because it concerned the interests of the race; only valorous and high-spirited men ought to procreate, and it was held that the father should bear the punishments inflicted on the son for faults due to his failure by defects in generation.[ ] moreover, while unions not for the end of procreation were in the city of the sun left to the judgment of the individuals alone concerned, it was not so with unions for the end of procreation. these were arranged by the "great master," a physician, aided by the chief matrons, and the public exercises of the youths and maidens, performed in a state of nakedness, were of assistance in enabling unions to be fittingly made. no eugenist under modern conditions of life proposes that unions should be arranged by a supreme medical public official, though he might possibly regard such an official, if divested of any compulsory powers, a kind of public trustee for the race, as a useful institution. but it is easy to see that the luminous conception of racial betterment which, since galton rendered it practicable, is now inspiring social progress, was already burning brightly three centuries ago in the brain of this imprisoned italian monk. just as thomas more has been called the father of modern socialism, so campanella may be said to be the prophet of modern eugenics. by "eugenics" is meant the scientific study of all the agencies by which the human race may be improved, and the effort to give practical effect to those agencies by conscious and deliberate action in favour of better breeding. even among savages eugenics may be said to exist, if only in the crude and unscientific practice of destroying feeble, deformed, and abnormal infants at birth. in civilized ages elaborate and more or less scientific attempts are made by breeders of animals to improve the stocks they breed, and their efforts have been crowned with much success. the study of the same methods in their bearing on man proceeded out of the darwinian school of biology, and is especially associated with the great name of sir francis galton, the cousin of darwin. galton first proposed to call this study "stirpiculture." under that name it inspired noyes, the founder of the oneida community, with the impulse to carry it into practice with a thoroughness and daring--indeed a similarity of method--which caused oneida almost to rival the city of the sun. but the scheme of noyes, excellent as in some respects it was as an experiment, outran both scientific knowledge and the spirit of the times. it was not countenanced by galton, who never had any wish to offend general sentiment, but sought to win it over to his side, and before the oneida community was brought to an end in consequence of the antagonism it aroused. galton continued to develop his conceptions slowly and cautiously, and in , in his _inquiries into human faculty_, he abandoned the term "stirpiculture" and devised the term "eugenics," which is now generally adopted to signify good breeding. galton was quite well aware that the improved breeding of men is a very different matter from the improved breeding of animals, requiring a different knowledge and a different method, so that the ridicule which has sometimes been ignorantly flung at eugenics failed to touch him. it would be clearly undesirable to breed men, as animals are bred, for single points at the sacrifice of other points, even if we were in a position to breed men from outside. human breeding must proceed from impulses that arise, voluntarily, in human brains and wills, and are carried out with a human sense of personal responsibility. galton believed that the first need was the need of knowledge in these matters. he was not anxious to invoke legislation.[ ] the compulsory presentation of certificates of health and good breeding as a preliminary to marriage forms no part of eugenics, nor is compulsory sterilization a demand made by any reasonable eugenist. certainly the custom of securing certificates of health and ability is excellent, not only as a preliminary to marriage, but as a general custom. certainly, also, there are cases in which sterilization is desirable, if voluntarily accepted.[ ] but neither certification nor sterilization should be compulsory. they only have their value if they are intelligent and deliberate, springing out of a widened and enlightened sense of personal responsibility to society and to the race. eugenics constitutes the link between the social reform of the past, painfully struggling to improve the conditions of life, and the social hygiene of the future, which is authorized to deal adequately with the conditions of life because it has its hands on the sources of life. on this plane we are able to concentrate our energies on the finer ends of life, because we may reasonably expect to be no longer hampered by the ever-increasing burdens which were placed upon us by the failure to control life; while the more we succeed in our efforts to purify and strengthen life, the more magnificent become the tasks we may reasonably hope to attempt and compass. a problem which is often and justly cited as one to be settled by eugenics is that presented by the existence among us of the large class of the feeble-minded. no doubt there are some who would regret the disappearance of the feeble-minded from our midst. the philosophies of the bergsonian type, which to-day prevail so widely, place intuition above reason, and the "pure fool" has sometimes been enshrined and idolized. but we may remember that eugenics can never prevent absolutely the occurrence of feeble-minded persons, even in the extreme degree of the imbecile and the idiot.[ ] they come within the range of variation, by the same right as genius so comes. we cannot, it may be, prevent the occurrence of such persons, but we can prevent them from being the founders of families tending to resemble themselves. and in so doing, it will be agreed by most people, we shall be effecting a task of immense benefit to society and the race. feeble-mindedness is largely handed on by heredity. it was formerly supposed that idiocy and feeble-mindedness are mainly due to environmental conditions, to the drink, depravity, general disease, or lack of nutrition of the parents, and there is no doubt an element of truth in that view. but serious and frequent as are the results of bad environment and acquired disease in the parentage of the feeble-minded, they do not form the fundamental factor in the production of the feeble-minded.[ ] feeble-mindedness is essentially a germinal variation, belonging to the same large class as all other biological variations, occurring, for the most part, in the first place spontaneously, but strongly tending to be inherited. it thus resembles congenital cataract, deaf-mutism, the susceptibility to tuberculous infection, etc.[ ] exact investigation is now showing that feeble-mindedness is passed on from parent to child to an enormous extent. some years ago ashby, speaking from a large experience in the north of england, estimated that at least seventy-five per cent of feeble-minded children are born with an inherited tendency to mental defect. more precise investigation has since shown that this estimate was under the mark. tredgold, who in england has most carefully studied the heredity of the feeble-minded,[ ] found that in over eighty-two per cent cases there is a bad nervous inheritance. in a large number of cases the bad heredity was associated with alcoholism or consumption in the parentage, but only in a small proportion of cases (about seven per cent) was it probable that alcoholism and consumption alone, and usually combined, had sufficed to produce the defective condition of the children, while environmental conditions only produced mental defect in ten per cent cases.[ ] heredity is the chief cause of feeble-mindedness, and a normal child is never born of two feeble-minded parents. the very thorough investigation of the heredity of the feeble-minded which is now being carried on at the institution for their care at vineland, new jersey, shows even more decisive results. by making careful pedigrees of the families to which the inmates at vineland belong it is seen that in a large proportion of cases feeble-mindedness is handed on from generation to generation, and is traceable through three generations, though it sometimes skips a generation. in one family of three hundred and nineteen persons, one hundred and nineteen were known to be feeble-minded, and only forty-two known to be normal. the families tended to be large, sometimes very large, most of them in many cases dying in infancy or growing up weak-minded.[ ] not only is feeble-mindedness inherited, and to a much greater degree than has hitherto been suspected even by expert authorities, but the feeble-minded thus tend (though, as davenport and weeks have found, not invariably) to have a larger number of children than normal people. that indeed, we might expect, apart altogether from the question of any innate fertility. the feeble-minded have no forethought and no self-restraint. they are not adequately capable of resisting their own impulses or the solicitations of others, and they are unable to understand adequately the motives which guide the conduct of ordinary people. the average number of children of feeble-minded people seems to be frequently about one-third more than in normal families, and is sometimes much greater. dr. ettie sayer, when investigating for the london county council the family histories of one hundred normal families and one hundred families in which mentally defective children had been found, ascertained that the families of the latter averaged . children, while in the normal families they averaged . tredgold, specially investigating feeble-minded cases, found that they belonged to families in which children had been born, that is to say . per family, or, counting still-born children, . . nearly two-thirds of these abnormally large families were mentally defective, many showing a tendency to disease, pauperism, criminality, or else to early death.[ ] here, indeed, we have a counterbalancing influence, for, in the large families of the feeble-minded, there is a correspondingly large infantile mortality. a considerable proportion of tredgold's group of children were born dead, and a very large number died early. eichholz, again, found that, in one group of defective families, about sixty per cent of the children died young. that is probably an unusually high proportion, and in eichholz's cases it seems to have been associated with very unusually large families, but the infant mortality is always very high. this large early mortality of the offspring of the feeble-minded is, however, very far from settling the question of the disposal of the mentally defective, or we should not find families of them propagated from generation to generation. the large number who die early merely serves, roughly speaking, to reduce the size of the abnormal family to the size of a normal family, and some authorities consider that it scarcely suffices to do this, for we must remember that there is a considerable mortality even in the so-called normal family during early life. even when there is no abnormal fertility in the defective family we may still have to recognize that, as davenport and weeks argue, their defectiveness is intensified by heredity. moreover, we have to consider the social disorder and the heavy expense which accompany the large infantile mortality. illegitimacy is frequently the result of feeble-mindedness, since feeble-minded women are peculiarly unable to resist temptation. a great number of such women are continually coming into the workhouses and giving birth to illegitimate children whom they are unable to support, and who often never become capable of supporting themselves, but in their turn tend to produce a new feeble-minded generation, more especially since the men who are attracted to these feeble-minded women are themselves--according to the generally recognized tendency of the abnormal to be attracted to the abnormal--feeble-minded or otherwise mentally defective. there is thus generated not only a heavy financial burden, but also a perpetual danger to society, and, it may well be, a serious depreciation in the quality of the community.[ ] it is not only in themselves that the feeble-minded are a burden on the present generation and a menace to future generations. in large measure they form the reservoir from which the predatory classes are recruited. this is, for instance, the case as regards prostitutes. feeble-minded girls, of fairly high grade, may often be said to be predestined to prostitution if left to themselves, not because they are vicious, but because they are weak and have little power of resistance. they cannot properly weigh their actions against the results of their actions, and even if they are intelligent enough to do that, they are still too weak to regulate their actions accordingly. moreover, even when, as often happens among the high-grade feeble-minded, they are quite able and willing to work, after they have lost their "respectability" by having a child, the opportunities for work become more restricted, and they drift into prostitution. it has been found that of nearly , women who passed through magdalen homes in england, over , or more than sixteen per cent--and this is probably an under-estimate--were definitely feeble-minded. the women belonging to this feeble-minded group were known to have added illegitimate children to the population. in germany bonhoeffer found among prostitutes who passed through a prison that were hereditarily degenerate and feeble-minded. this would be an over-estimate as regards average prostitutes, though the offences were no doubt usually trivial, but in any case the association between prostitution and feeble-mindedness is intimate. everywhere, there can be no doubt, the ranks of prostitution contain a considerable proportion of women who were, at the very outset, in some slight degree feeble-minded, mentally and morally a little blunted through some taint of inheritance.[ ] criminality, again, is associated with feeble-mindedness in the most intimate way. not only do criminals tend to belong to large families, but the families that produce feeble-minded offspring also produce criminals, while a certain degree of feeble-mindedness is extremely common among criminals, and the most hopeless and typical, though fortunately rare, kind of criminal, frequently termed a "moral imbecile," is nothing more than a feeble-minded person whose defect is shown not so much in his intelligence as in his feelings and his conduct. sir h.b. donkin, who speaks with authority on this matter, estimates that, though it is difficult to obtain the early history of the criminals who enter english prisons, about twenty per cent of them are of primarily defective mental capacity. this would mean that every year some , feeble-minded persons are sent to english prisons as "criminals." the tendency of criminals to belong to the feeble-minded class is indeed every day becoming more clearly recognized. at pentonville, putting aside prisoners who were too mentally affected to be fit for prison discipline, eighteen per cent of the adult prisoners and forty per cent of the juvenile offenders were found to be feeble-minded. this includes only those whose defect is fairly obvious, and is not the result of methodical investigation. it is certain that such methodical inquiry would reveal a very large proportion of cases of less obvious mental defect. thus the systematic examination of a number of delinquent children in an industrial school showed that in seventy-five per cent cases they were defective as compared to normal children, and that their defectiveness was probably inborn. even the possession of a considerable degree of cunning is no evidence against mental defect, but may rather be said to be a sign of it, for it shows an intelligence unable to grasp the wider relations of life, and concentrated on the gratification of petty and immediate desires. thus it happens that the cunning of criminals is frequently associated with almost inconceivable stupidity.[ ] closely related to the great feeble-minded class, and from time to time falling into crime, are the inmates of workhouses, tramps, and the unemployable. the so-called "able-bodied" inmates of the workhouses are frequently found, on medical examination, to be, in more than fifty per cent cases, mentally defective, equally so whether they are men or women. tramps, by nature and profession, who overlap the workhouse population, and are estimated to number , to , in england and wales, when the genuine unemployed are eliminated, are everywhere found to be a very degenerate class, among whom the most mischievous kinds of feeble-mindedness and mental perversion prevail. inebriates, the people who are chronically and helplessly given to drink, largely belong to the same great family, and do not so much become feeble-minded because they drink, but possess the tendency to drink because they have a strain of feeble-mindedness from birth. branthwaite, the chief english authority on this question, finds that of the inebriates who come to his notice, putting aside altogether the group of actually insane persons, about sixty-three per cent are mentally defective, and scarcely more than a third of the whole number of average mental capacity. it is evident that these people, even if restored to sobriety, would still retain their more or less inborn defectiveness, and would remain equally, unfit to become the parents of the coming generation. these are the kind of people--tramps, prostitutes, paupers, criminals, inebriates, all tending to be born a little defective--who largely make up the great degenerate families whose histories are from time to time recorded. such a family was that of the jukes in america, who, in the course of five generations, by constantly intermarrying with bad stocks, produced known descendants who were on the whole unfit for society, and have been a constant danger and burden to society.[ ] a still larger family of the same kind, more recently studied in germany, consisted of known persons, all descended from a drunken vagabond woman, probably somewhat feeble-minded but physically vigorous. the great majority of these descendants were prostitutes, tramps, paupers, and criminals (some of them murderers), and the direct cost in money to the prussian state for the keep and care of this woman and her family has been a quarter of a million pounds. yet another such family is that of the "zeros." three centuries ago they were highly respectable people, living in a swiss valley. but they intermarried with an insane stock, and subsequently married other women of an unbalanced nature. in recent times members of this family have been studied, and it is found that vagrancy, feeble-mindedness, mental troubles, criminality, pauperism, immorality are, as it may be termed, their patrimony.[ ] these classes, with their tendency to weak-mindedness, their inborn laziness, lack of vitality, and unfitness for organized activity, contain the people who complain that they are starving for want of work, though they will never perform any work that is given them. feeble-mindedness is an absolute dead-weight on the race. it is an evil that is unmitigated. the heavy and complicated social burdens and injuries it inflicts on the present generation are without compensation, while the unquestionable fact that in any degree it is highly inheritable renders it a deteriorating poison to the race; it depreciates the quality of a people. the task of social hygiene which lies before us cannot be attempted by this feeble folk. not only can they not share it, but they impede it; their clumsy hands are for ever becoming entangled in the delicate mechanism of our modern civilization. their very existence is itself an impediment. apart altogether from the gross and obvious burden in money and social machinery which the protection they need, and the protection we need against them, casts upon the community,[ ] they dilute the spiritual quality of the community to a degree which makes it an inapt medium for any high achievement. it matters little how small a city or a nation is, provided the spirit of its people is great. it is the smallest communities that have most powerfully and most immortally raised the level of civilization, and surrounded the human species (in its own eyes) with a halo of glory which belongs to no other species. only a handful of people, hemmed in on every side, created the eternal radiance of athens, and the fame of the little city of florence may outlive that of the whole kingdom of italy. to realize this truth in the future of civilization is one of the first tasks of social hygiene.[ ] it is here that the ideals of eugenics may be expected to work fruitfully. to insist upon the power of heredity was once considered to indicate a fatalistic pessimism. it wears a very different aspect nowadays, in the light of eugenics. "to the eugenist," as davenport observes, "heredity stands as the one great hope of the human race: its saviour from imbecility, poverty, disease, immorality."[ ] we cannot, indeed, desire any compulsory elimination of the unfit or any centrally regulated breeding of the fit.[ ] such notions are idle, and even the mere fact that unbalanced brains may air them abroad tends to impair the legitimate authority of eugenic ideals. the two measures which are now commonly put forward for the attainment of eugenic ends--health certificates as a legal preliminary to marriage and the sterilization of the unfit--are excellent when wisely applied, but they become mischievous, if not ridiculous, in the hands of fanatics who would employ them by force. domestic animals may be highly bred from outside, compulsorily. man can only be bred upwards from within through the medium of his intelligence and will, working together under the control of a high sense of responsibility. the infinite cunning of men and women is fully equal to the defeat of any attempt to touch life at this intimate point against the wish of those to whom the creation of life is entrusted. the laws of marriage even among savages have often been complex and strenuous in the highest degree. but it has been easy to bear them, for they have been part of the sacred and inviolable traditions of the race; religion lay behind them. and galton, who recognized the futility of mere legislation in the elevation of the race, believed that the hope of the future lies in rendering eugenics a part of religion. the only compulsion we can apply in eugenics is the compulsion that comes from within. all those in whom any fine sense of social and racial responsibility is developed will desire, before marriage, to give, and to receive, the fullest information on all the matters that concern ancestral inheritance, while the registration of such information, it is probable, will become ever simpler and more a matter of course.[ ] and if he finds that he is not justified in aiding to carry on the race, the eugenist will be content to make himself, in the words of jesus, "a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake," whether, under modern conditions, that means abstention in marriage from procreation, or voluntary sterilization by operative methods.[ ] for, as giddings has put it, the goal of the race lies, not in the ruthless exaltation of a super-man, but in the evolution of a super-mankind. such a goal can only be reached by resolute selection and elimination.[ ] the breeding of men lies largely in the hands of women. that is why the question of eugenics is to a great extent one with the woman question. the realization of eugenics in our social life can only be attained with the realization of the woman movement in its latest and completest phase as an enlightened culture of motherhood, in all that motherhood involves alike on the physical and the psychic sides. motherhood on the eugenic basis is a deliberate and selective process, calling for the highest intelligence as well as the finest emotional and moral aptitudes, so that all the best energies of a long evolution of womanhood in the paths of modern culture here find their final outlet. the breeding of children further involves the training of children, and since the expansion of social hygiene renders education a far larger and more delicate task than it has ever been before, the responsibilities laid upon women by the evolution of civilization become correspondingly great. for the men who have been thus born and taught the tasks imposed by social hygiene are in no degree lighter. they demand all the best qualities of a selectively bred race from which the mentally and physically weak have, so far as possible, been bred out. the substitution of law for war alike in the relations of class to class, and of nation to nation, and the organization of international methods of social intercourse between peoples of different tongues and unlike traditions, are but two typical examples of the tasks, difficult but imperative, which social hygiene presents and the course of modern civilization renders insistent. again, the adequate adjustment of the claims of the individual and the claims of the community, each carried to its farthest point, can but prove an exquisite test of the quality of any well-bred and well-trained race. it is exactly in that balancing of apparent opposites, the necessity of pushing to extremes both opposites, and the consequent need of cultivating that quality of temperance the greeks estimated so highly, that the supreme difficulties of modern civilization lie. we see these difficulties again in relation to the extension of law. it is desirable and inevitable that the sphere of law should be extended, and that the disputes which are still decided by brutal and unreasoning force should be decided by humane and reasoning force, that is to say, by law. but, side by side with this extension of law, it is necessary to wage a constant war with the law-making tendency, to cherish an undying resolve to maintain unsullied those sacred and intimate impulses, all the finest activities of the moral sphere, which the generalizing hand of law can only injure and stain. it is these fascinating and impassioning problems, every day becoming of more urgent practical importance, which it is the task of social hygiene to solve, having first created the men and women who are fit to solve them. it is such problems as these that we are to-day called upon to illuminate, as far as we may--it may not yet be very far--by the dry light of science. footnotes: [ ] muralt, _lettres sur les anglais_. lettre v. [ ] in the reign of richard ii ( ) an act was passed for "the punishment of those which cause corruption near a city or great town to corrupt the air." a century later (in henry vii's time) an act was passed to prevent butchers killing beasts in walled towns, the preamble to this act declaring that no noble town in christendom should contain slaughter-houses lest sickness be thus engendered. in charles ii's time, after the great fire of london, the law provided for the better paving and cleansing of the streets and sewers. it was, however, in italy, as weyl points out (_geschichte der sozialen hygiene im mittelalter_, at a meeting of the gesellschaft für soziale medizin, may , ), that the modern movement of organized sanitation began. in the thirteenth century the great italian cities (like florence and pistoja) possessed _codici sanitarii_; but they were not carried out, and when the black death reached florence in , it found the city altogether unprepared. it was venice which, in the same year, first initiated vigorous state sanitation. disinfection was first ordained by gian visconti, in milan, in . the first quarantine station of which we hear was established in venice in . [ ] the rate of infant mortality in england and wales has decreased from per births in - to per births in . in reference to this remarkable fall which has taken place _pari passu_ with the fall in the birth-rate, newsholme, the medical officer to the local government board, writes: "there can be no reasonable doubt that much of the reduction has been caused by that 'concentration' on the mother and the child which has been a striking feature of the last few years. had the experience of - held good there would have been , more deaths of infants in than actually occurred." in some parts of the country, however, where the women go out to work in factories (as in lancashire and parts of staffordshire) the infantile mortality remains very high. [ ] mrs. bertrand russell, "the ghent school for mothers," _nineteenth century_, december, . [ ] it is scarcely necessary to say that other classifications of social reform on its more hygienic side may be put forward. thus w.h. allen, looking more narrowly at the sanitary side of the matter, but without confining his consideration to the nineteenth century, finds that there are always seven stages: ( ) that of racial tutelage, when sanitation becomes conscious and receives the sanction of law; ( ) the introduction of sanitary comfort, well-paved streets, public sewers, extensive waterworks; ( ) the period of commercial sanitation, when the mercantile classes insist upon such measures as quarantine and street-cleaning to check the immense ravages of epidemics; ( ) the introduction of legislation against nuisances and the tendency to extend the definition of nuisance, which for bracton, in the fourteenth century, meant an obstruction, and for blackstone, in the eighteenth, included things otherwise obnoxious, such as offensive trades and foul watercourses; ( ) the stage of precaution against the dangers incidental to the slums that are fostered by modern conditions of industry; ( ) the stage of philanthropy, erecting hospitals, model tenements, schools, etc.; ( ) the stage of socialistic sanitation, when the community as a whole actively seeks its own sanitary welfare, and devotes public funds to this end. (w.h. allen, "sanitation and social progress," _american journal of sociology_, march, .) [ ] dr. f. bushee has pointed out ("science and social progress," _popular science monthly_, september, ) that there is a kind of related progression between science and practice in this matter: "the natural sciences developed first, because man was first interested in the conquest of nature, and the simpler physical laws could be grasped at an early period. this period brought an increase of wealth, but it was wasteful of human life. the desire to save life led the way to the study of biology. knowledge of the physical environment and of life, however, did not prevent social disease from flourishing, and did not greatly improve the social condition of a large part of society. to overcome these defects the social sciences within recent years have been cultivated with great seriousness. interest in the social sciences has had to wait for the enlarged sympathies and the sense of solidarity which has appeared with the growing interdependence of dense populations, and these conditions have been dependent upon the advance of the other sciences. with the cultivation of the social sciences, the chain of knowledge will be complete, at least so far as the needs which have already appeared are concerned. for each group of sciences will solve one or more of the great problems which man has encountered in the process of development. the physical sciences will solve the problems of environment, the biological sciences the problems of life, and the social sciences the problems of society." [ ] this exclusive pre-occupation with the improvement of the environment has been termed euthenics by mrs. ellen h. richards, who has written a book with this title, advocating euthenics in opposition to eugenics. [ ] not one of the four stages of social reform already summarized can be neglected. on the contrary, they all need to be still further consolidated in a completely national organization of health. i may perhaps refer to the little book on _the nationalization of health_, in which, many years ago, i foreshadowed this movement, as well as to the recent work of professor benjamin moore on the same subject. the gigantic efforts of germany, and later of england, to establish national insurance systems, bear noble witness to the ardour with which these two countries, at all events, are moving towards the desired goal. [ ] in some countries, however, the decline, although traceable about , only began to be pronounced somewhat later, in austria in , in the german empire, hungary and italy in , and in prussia in . most of these countries, though late in following the modern movement of civilization initiated by france, are rapidly making their way in the same direction. thus the birth-rate in berlin is already as low as that of paris ten years ago, although the french decline began at a very early period. in norway, again, the decline was not marked until , but the birth-rate has nevertheless already fallen as low as that of sweden, where the fall began very much earlier. [ ] "foresight and self-control is, and always must be, the ground and medium of all moral socialism," says bosanquet (_the civilization of christendom_, p. ), using the term "socialism" in the wide and not in the economic sense. we see the same civilized growth of foresight and self-control in the decrease of drunkenness. thus in england the number of convictions for drunkenness, while varying greatly in different parts of the country, is decreasing for the whole country at the rapid rate of to a year, notwithstanding the constant growth of the population. it is incorrect to suppose that this decrease has any connection with decreased opportunities for drinking; thus in london county and in cardiff the proportion of premises licensed for drinking is the same, yet while the convictions for drunkenness in were in london per , inhabitants, in cardiff they were under per , . [ ] thus heron finds that in london during the past fifty years there has been per cent increase in the intensity of the relation between low social birth and high birth-rate, and that the high birth-rate of the lower social classes is not fully compensated by their high death-rate (d. heron, "on the relation of fertility in man to social status," _drapers' company research memoirs_, no. i, ). as, however, newsholme and stevenson point out (_journal royal statistical society_, april, , p. ), the net addition to the population made by the best social classes is at so very slightly lower a rate than that made by the poorest class that, even if we consent to let the question rest on this ground, there is still no urgent need for the wailings of cassandra. [ ] _sociological papers_ of the sociological society, , p. . [ ] there is a certain profit in studying one's own ancestry. it has been somewhat astonishing to me to find how very slight are the social oscillations traceable in a middle-class family and the families it intermarries with through several centuries. a professional family tends to form a caste marrying within that caste. an ambitious member of the family may marry a baronet's daughter, and another, less pretentious, a village tradesman's daughter; but the general level is maintained without rising or falling. occasionally, it happens that the ambitious and energetic son of a prosperous master-craftsman becomes a professional man, marries into the professional caste, and founds a professional family; such a family seems to flourish for some three generations, and then suddenly fails and dies out in the male line, while the vigour of the female line is not impaired. [ ] the new social adjustment of a family, it is probable, is always difficult, and if the change is sudden or extreme, the new environment may rapidly prove fatal to the family. lorenz (_lehrbuch der genealogie_, p. ) has shown that when a peasant family reaches an upper social class it dies out in a few generations. [ ] see, on this point, reibmayr, _entwicklungsgeschichte des talentes und genies_, vol. i, ch. vii. [ ] fahlbeck, _op. cit._, p. . [ ] regeneration implies that there has been degeneration, and it cannot be positively affirmed that such degeneration has, on the whole, occurred in such a manner as to affect the race. reibmayr (_die entwicklungsgeschichte des talentes und genies_, bd. i, p. ) regards degeneration as a process setting in with urbanization and the tendency to diminished population; if so, it is but another name for civilization, and can only be condemned by condemning civilization, whether or not physical deterioration occurs. the inter-departmental commission on physical deterioration held in , in london, concluded that there are no sufficient statistical or other data to prove that the physique of the people in the present, as compared with the past, has undergone any change; and this conclusion was confirmed by the director-general of the army medical service. there is certainly good reason to believe that urban populations (and especially industrial workers in factories) are inferior in height and weight and general development to rural populations, and less fit for military or similar service. the stunted development of factory workers in the east end of london was noted nearly a century ago, and german military experience distinctly shows the inferiority of the town-dweller to the country-dweller. (see e.g. weyl, _handbuch der hygiene_, supplement, bd. iv, pp. _et seq._; _politisch-anthropologische revue_, , pp. _et seq._) the proportion of german youths fit for military service slowly decreases every year; in it was . per cent, in only per cent; of those born in the country and engaged in agricultural or forest work . were found fit; of those born in the country and engaged in other industries, . per cent; of those born in towns, but engaged in agricultural or forest work, . per cent; of those born in towns and engaged in other industries . per cent. it is fairly clear that this deterioration under urban and industrial conditions cannot properly be termed a racial degeneration. it is, moreover, greatly improved even by a few months' training, and there is an immense difference between the undeveloped, feeble, half-starved recruit from the slums and the robust, broad-shouldered veteran when he leaves the army. the term "aggeneration"--not beyond criticism, though it is free from the objection to "regeneration"--was proposed by prof. christian von ehrenfels ("die aufsteigende entwicklung des menschen," _politisch-anthropologische revue_, april, , p. ). [ ] it is unnecessary to touch here on the question of infant mortality, which has already been referred to, and will again come in for consideration in a later chapter. it need only be said that a high birth-rate is inextricably combined with a high death-rate. the european countries with the highest birth-rates are, in descending order: russia, bulgaria, roumania, servia, and hungary. the european countries with the highest death-rates are, in descending order, almost the same: russia, hungary, spain, bulgaria, and servia, it is the same outside europe. thus chile, with a birth-rate which comes next after roumania, has a death-rate that is only second to russia. [ ] nyström (_la vie sexuelle_, , p. ) believes that "the time is coming when it will be considered the duty of municipal authorities, if they have found by experience or have reason to suspect that children will be thrown upon the parish, to instruct parents in methods of preventive conception." [ ] the directly unfavourable influences on the child of too short an interval between its birth and that of the previous child has been shown, for instance, by dr. r.j. ewart ("the influence of parental age on offspring," _eugenics review_, october, ). he has found at middlesbrough that children born at an interval of less than two years after the birth of the previous child still show at the age of six a notable deficiency in height, weight, and intelligence, when compared with children born after a longer interval, or with first-born children. [ ] _tatler_, vol. ii, no. , . [ ] "write man for primula, and the stage of the world for that of the greenhouse," says professor bateson (_biological fact and the structure of society_, , p. ), "and i believe that with a few generations of experimental breeding we should acquire the power similarly to determine how the varieties of men should be represented in the generations that succeed." but bateson proceeds to point out that our knowledge is still very inadequate, and he is opposed to eugenics by act of parliament. [ ] e. solmi, _la città del sole di campanella_, , p. xxxiv. [ ] only a year before his death galton wrote (preface to _essays in eugenics_): "the power by which eugenic reform must chiefly be effected is that of popular opinion, which is amply strong enough for that purpose whenever it shall be roused." [ ] it may perhaps be necessary to remark that by sterilization is here meant, not castration, but, in the male vasectomy (and a corresponding operation in the female), a simple and harmless operation which involves no real mutilation and no loss of power beyond that of procreation. see on this and related points, havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chap. xii. [ ] the term "feeble-minded" may be used generally to cover all degrees of mental weakness. in speaking a little more precisely, however, we have to recognize three main degrees of congenital mental weakness: _feeble-mindedness_, in which with care and supervision it is possible to work and earn a livelihood; _imbecility_, in which the subject is barely able to look after himself, and sometimes only has enough intelligence to be mischievous (the moral imbecile); and _idiocy_, the lowest depth of all, in which the subject has no intelligence and no ability to look after himself. more elaborate classifications are sometimes proposed. the method of binet and simon renders possible a fairly exact measurement of feeble-mindedness. [ ] mott (_archives of neurology and psychiatry_, vol. v, ) accepts the view that in some cases feeble-mindedness is simply a form of congenital syphilis, but he points out that feeble-mindedness abounds in many rural districts where syphilis, as well as alcoholism, is very rare, and concludes by emphasizing the influence of heredity; the prevalence of feeble-mindedness in these rural districts is thus due to the fact that the mentally and physically fit have emigrated to the great industrial centres, leaving the unfit to procreate the race. [ ] "whether germinal variations," remarked dr. r.j. ryle at a conference on feeble-mindedness (_british medical journal_, october , ), "be expressed by cleft palate, cataract, or cerebral deficiency of the pyramidal cells in the brain cortex, they may be produced, and, when once produced, they are reproduced as readily as the perfected structure of the face or eye or brain, if the gametes which contain these potentialities unite to form the ovum. but nature is not only the producer. given a fair field and no favour, natural selection would leave no problem of the unfit to perplex the mind of man who looks before and after. this we know cannot be, and we know, too, that we have no longer the excuse of ignorance to cover the neglect of the new duties which belong to the present epoch of civilization. we know now that we have to deal with a growing group in our community who demand permanent care and control as well for their own sakes as for the welfare of the community. all are now agreed on the general principle of segregation, but it is true that something more than this should be forthcoming. the difficulties of theory are clearing up as our wider view obtains a firmer grasp of our material, but the difficulties of practice are still before us." these remarks correspond with the general results reached by the royal commission on the feeble-minded, which issued its voluminous facts and conclusions in . [ ] see, for instance, a.f. tredgold, _mental deficiency_, . [ ] the investigation of bezzola showing that the maxima in the conception of idiots occur at carnival time, and especially at the vintage, has been held (especially by forel) to indicate that alcoholism of the parents at conception causes idiocy in the offspring. it may be so. but it may also be that the licence of these periods enables the defective members of the community to secure an amount of sexual activity which they would be debarred from under normal conditions. in that case the alcoholism would merely liberate, and not create, the idiocy-producing mechanism. [ ] godden, _eugenics review_, april, . [ ] feeble-mindedness and the other allied variations are not always exactly repeated in inheritance. they may be transmuted in passing from father to son, an epileptic father, for instance, having a feeble-minded child. these relationships of feeble-mindedness have been clearly brought out in an important investigation by davenport and weeks (_journal of nervous and mental disease_, november, ), who have for the first time succeeded in obtaining a large number of really thorough and precise pedigrees of such cases. [ ] it may be as well to point out once more that the possibility of such limited depreciation must not be construed into the statement that there has been any general "degeneration of the race." it maybe added that the notion that the golden age lay in the past, and that our own age is degenerate is not confined to a few biometricians of to-day; it has commended itself to uncritical minds in all ages, even the greatest, as far back as we can go. montesquieu referred to this common notion (and attempted to explain it) in his _pensées diverses_: "men have such a bad opinion of themselves," he adds, "that they have believed not only that their minds and souls were degenerate, but even their bodies, and that they were not so tall as the men of previous ages." it is thus quite logically that we arrive at the belief that when mankind first appeared, "there were giants on the earth in those days," and that adam lived to the age of nine hundred and thirty. evidently no syndromes of degenerescence there! [ ] the superintendent of a large state school for delinquent girls in america (as quoted in the chicago vice commission's report on _the social evil in chicago_, p. ) says: "the girls who come to us possessed of normal brain power, or not infected with venereal disease, we look upon as a prize indeed, and we seldom fail to make a woman worth while of a really normal girl, whatever her environment has been. but we have failed in numberless cases where the environment has been all right, but the girl was born wrong." [ ] see e.g. havelock ellis, _the criminal_, th ed., , chap iv. [ ] r.l. dugdale, _the jukes_, th ed., . it is noteworthy that dugdale, who wrote nearly forty years ago, was concerned to prove the influence of bad environment rather than of bad heredity. at that time the significance of heredity was scarcely yet conceived. it remains true, however, that bad heredity and bad environment constantly work together for evil. [ ] jörger, _archiv für rassen-und gesellschafts-biologie_, , p. . criminal families are also recorded by aubry, _la contagion du meutre_. [ ] even during school life this burden is serious. mr. bodey, inspector of schools, states that the defective school child costs three times as much as the ordinary school child. [ ] i have set forth these considerations more fully in a popular form in _the problem of the regeneration of the race_, the first of a series of "new tracts for the times," issued under the auspices of the national council of public morals. [ ] c.b. davenport, "euthenics and eugenics," _popular science monthly_, january, . [ ] the use of the terms "fit" and "unfit" in a eugenic sense has been criticized. it is said, for instance, that in a bad environment it may be precisely the defective classes who are most "fit" to survive. it is quite true that these terms are not well adapted to resist hyper-critical attack. the persistence with which they are employed seems, however, to indicate a certain "survival of the fittest." the terms "worthy" and "unworthy," which some would prefer to substitute, are unsatisfactory, for they have moral associations which are misleading. galton spoke of "civic worth" in this connection, and very occasionally used the term "worthy" (with inverted commas), but he was careful to point out (_essays in eugenics_, p. ) that in eugenics "we must leave morals as far as possible out of the discussion, not entangling ourselves with the almost hopeless difficulties they raise as to whether a character as a whole is good or bad." [ ] dr. toulouse has devoted a whole volume to the results of a minute personal examination of zola, the novelist, and another to poincaré, the mathematician. such minute investigations are at present confined to men of genius, but some day, perhaps, we shall consider that from the eugenic standpoint all men are men of genius. [ ] sterilization for social ends was introduced in switzerland a few years ago, in order to enable some persons with impaired self-control to be set at liberty and resume work without the risk of adding to the population defective members who would probably be a burden on the community. it was performed with the consent of the subjects (in some cases at their urgent request) and their relations, so requiring no special legislation, and the results are said to be satisfactory. in some american states sterilization for some classes of defective persons has been established by statute, but it is difficult to obtain reliable information as regards the working and the results of such legislation. [ ] when professor giddings speaks of the "goal of mankind," it must, of course, be remembered, he is using a bold metaphor in order to make his meaning clearer. strictly speaking, mankind has no "goals," nor are there any ends in nature which are not means to further ends. ii the changing status of women[ ] the origin of the woman movement--mary wollstonecraft--george sand--robert owen--william thompson--john stuart mill--the modern growth of social cohesion--the growth of industrialism--its influence in woman's sphere of work--the education of women--co-education--the woman question and sexual selection--significance of economic independence--the state regulation of marriage--the future of marriage--wilhelm von humboldt--social equality of women--the reproduction of the race as a function of society--women and the future of civilization. i it was in the eighteenth century, the seed-time of modern ideas, that our great-grandfathers became conscious of a discordant break in the traditional conceptions of women's status. the vague cries of justice, freedom, equality, which were then hurled about the world, were here and there energetically applied to women--notably in france by condorcet--and a new movement began to grow self-conscious and coherent. mary wollstonecraft, after aphra behn the first really noteworthy englishwoman of letters, gave voice to this movement in england. the famous and little-read _vindication of the rights of women_, careless and fragmentary as it is, and by no means so startling to us as to her contemporaries, shows mary wollstonecraft as a woman of genuine insight, who saw the questions of woman's social condition in their essential bearings. her intuitions need little modification, even though a century of progress has intervened. the modern advocates of woman's suffrage have little to add to her brief statement. she is far, indeed, from the monstrous notion of miss cobbe, that woman's suffrage is the "crown and completion" of all progress so far as women's movements are concerned. she looks upon it rather as one of the reasonable conditions of progress. it is pleasant to turn from the eccentric energy of so many of the advocates of women's causes to-day, all engaged in crying up their own particular nostrum, to the genial many-sided wisdom of mary wollstonecraft, touching all subjects with equal frankness and delicacy. the most brilliant and successful exponent of the new revolutionary ideas--making corinne and her prototype seem dim and ineffectual--was undoubtedly george sand. the badly-dressed woman who earned her living by scribbling novels, and said to m. du camp, as she sat before him in silence rolling her cigarette, "je ne dis rien parceque je suis bête," has exercised a profound influence throughout europe, an influence which, in the sclavonic countries especially, has helped to give impetus to the resolution we are now considering. and this not so much from any definite doctrines that underlie her work--for george sand's views on such matters varied as much as her political views--as from her whole temper and attitude. her large and rich nature, as sometimes happens in genius of a high order, was twofold; on the one hand, she possessed a solid serenity, a quiet sense of power, the qualities of a _bonne bourgeoise_, which found expression in her imperturbable calm, her gentle look and low voice. and with this was associated a massive, almost rabelaisian temperament (one may catch glimpses of it in her correspondence), a sane exuberant earthliness which delighted in every manifestation of the actual world. on the other hand, she bore within her a volcanic element of revolt, an immense disgust of law and custom. throughout her life george sand developed her strong and splendid individuality, not perhaps as harmoniously, but as courageously and as sincerely as even goethe. robert owen, who, like saint-simon in france, gave so extraordinary an impulse to all efforts at social reorganization, and who planted the seed of many modern movements, could not fail to extend his influence to the region of sex. a disciple of his, william thompson, who still holds a distinguished position in the history of the economic doctrines of socialism, wrote, under the inspiration of a woman (a mrs. wheeler), and published in , an _appeal of one half of the human race, women, against the pretensions of the other half, men, to retain them in political, and thence in civil and domestic slavery_. it is a thorough and logical, almost eloquent, demand for the absolute social equality of the sexes.[ ] forty years later, mill, also inspired by a woman, published his _subjection of women_. however partial and inadequate it may seem to us, this was at that day a notable book. mill's clear vision and feminine sensibilities gave freshness to his observations regarding the condition and capacity of women, while his reputation imparted gravity and resonance to his utterances. since then the signs in literature of the breaking up of the status of women have become far too numerous to be chronicled even in a volume. it is enough to have mentioned here some typical initiatory names. now, the movement may be seen at work anywhere, from norway to italy, from russia to california. the status which women are now entering places them, not, as in the old communism, in large measure practically above men, nor, as in the subsequent period, both practically and theoretically in subordination to men. it places them side by side, with like rights and like duties in relation to society. ii condorcet, mary wollstonecraft, george sand, owen, mill--these were feathers on the stream. they indicated the forces that had their source at the centre of social life. that historical movement which produced mother-law probably owed its rise, as well as its fall, to demands of subsistence and property--that is, to economic causes. the decay of the subsequent family system, in which the whole power is concentrated in the male head, is being produced by similar causes. the early communism, and the modes of action and sentiment which it had produced, still practically persisted long after the new system had arisen. in the patriarchal family the woman still had a recognized sphere of work and a recognized right to subsistence. it was not, indeed, until the sudden development of the industrial system, and the purely individualistic economics with which it was associated, at the beginning of the nineteenth century, that women in england were forced to realize that their household industries were gone, and that they must join in that game of competition in which the field and the rules had alike been chosen with reference to men alone. the commercial and industrial system, and the general diffusion of education that has accompanied it, and which also has its roots in economic causes, has been the chief motive force in revolutionizing the status of women; and the epoch of unrestricted competition on masculine lines has been a necessary period of transition.[ ] at the present time two great tendencies are visible in our social organization. on the one hand, the threads of social life are growing closer, and organization, as regards the simple and common means of subsistence, is increasing. on the other hand, as regards the things that most closely concern the individual person, the sphere of freedom is being perpetually enlarged. instead of every man digging a well for his own use and at his own free pleasure, perhaps in a graveyard or a cesspool, we consent to the distribution of water by a central executive. we have carried social methods so far that, instead of producing our own bread and butter, we prefer to go to a common bakery and dairy. the same centralizing methods are extending to all those things of which all have equal need. on the other hand, we exercise a very considerable freedom of individual thought. we claim a larger and larger freedom of individual speech and criticism. we worship any god we choose, after any fashion we choose. the same individual freedom is beginning to invade the sexual relationships. it is extending to all those things in regard to which civilized men have become so variously differentiated that they have no equal common needs. these two tendencies, so far from being antagonistic, cannot even be carried out under modern conditions of life except together. it is only by social co-operation in regard to what is commonly called the physical side of life that it becomes possible for the individual to develop his own peculiar nature. the society of the future is a reasonable anarchy founded on a broad basis of collectivism. it is not our object here to point out how widely these tendencies affect men, but it is worth while to indicate some of their bearings on the condition of women. while genuine productive industries have been taken out of the hands of women who work under the old conditions, an increasingly burdensome weight of unnecessary duties has been laid upon them. under the old communistic system, when a large number of families lived together in one great house, the women combined to perform their household duties, the cooking being done at a common fire. they had grown up together from childhood, and combination could be effected without friction. it is the result of the later system that the woman has to perform all the necessary household duties in the most wasteful manner, with least division of labour; while she has, in addition, to perform a great amount of unnecessary work, in obedience to traditional or conventional habits, which make it impossible even to perform the simple act of dusting the rooms of a small house in less than perhaps an hour and a half. she has probably also to accomplish, if she happens to belong to the middle or upper classes, an idle round of so-called "social duties." she tries to escape, when she can afford it, by adopting the apparently simple expedient of paying other people to perform these necessary and unnecessary household duties, but this expedient fails; the "social duties" increase in the same ratio as the servants increase and the task of overseeing these latter itself proves formidable. it is quite impossible for any person under these conditions to lead a reasonable and wholesome human life. a healthy life is more difficult to attain for the woman of the ordinary household than for the worker in a mine, for he at least, when the work of his set is over, has two-thirds of the twenty-four hours to himself. the woman is bound by a thousand lilliputian threads from which there seems no escape. she often makes frantic efforts to escape, but the combined strength of the threads generally proves too strong. there can be no doubt that the present household system is doomed; the higher standard of intelligence demanded from women, the growth of interest in the problems of domestic economy, the movement for association of labour, the revolt against the survivals of barbaric complication in living--all these, which are symptoms of a great economic revolution, indicate, the approach of a new period. the education of women is an essential part of the great movement we are considering. women will shortly be voters, and women, at all events in england, are in a majority. we have to educate our mistresses as we once had to educate our masters. and the word "education" is here used by no means in the narrow sense. a woman may be acquainted with greek and the higher mathematics, and be as uneducated in the wider relationships of life as a man in the like case. how much women suffer from this lack of education may be seen to-day even among those who are counted as leaders. there are extravagances in every period of transition. undoubtedly a potent factor in bringing about a saner attitude will be the education of boys and girls together. the lack of early fellowship fosters an unnatural divergence of aims and ideals, and a consequent lack of sympathy. it makes possible those abundant foolish generalizations by men concerning "women," by women concerning "men." st. augustine, at an early period of his ardent career, conceived with certain friends the notion of forming a community having goods in common; the scheme was almost effected when it was discovered that "those little wives, which some already had, and others would shortly have," objected, and so it fell through. perhaps the _mulierculæ_ were right. it is simply a rather remote instance of a fundamental divergence amply illustrated before our eyes. if men and women are to understand each other, to enter into each other's natures with mutual sympathy, and to become capable of genuine comradeship, the foundation must be laid in youth. another wholesome reform, promoted by co-education, is the physical education of women. in the case of boys special attention has generally been given to physical education, and the lack of it is one among several artificial causes of that chronic ill-health which so often handicaps women. women must have the same education as men, miss faithfull shrewdly observes, because that is sure to be the best. the present education of boys cannot, however, be counted a model, and the gradual introduction of co-education will produce many wholesome reforms. if the intimate association of the sexes destroys what remnant may linger of the unhealthy ideal of chivalry--according to which a woman was treated as a cross between an angel and an idiot--that is matter for rejoicing. wherever men and women stand in each other's presence the sexual instinct will always ensure an adequate ideal halo. iii the chief question that we have to ask when we consider the changing status of women is: how will it affect the reproduction of the race? hunger and love are the two great motor impulses, the ultimate source, probably, of all other impulses. hunger--that is to say, what we call "economic causes"--has, because it is the more widespread and constant, though not necessarily the more imperious instinct, produced nearly all the great zoological revolutions, including, as we have seen, the rise and fall of that phase of human evolution dominated by mother-law. yet love has, in the form of sexual selection, even before we reach the vertebrates, moulded races to the ideal of the female; and reproduction is always the chief end of nutrition which hunger waits on, the supreme aim of life everywhere. if we place on the one side man, as we know him during the historical period, and on the other, nearly every highly organized member of the animal family, there appears, speaking roughly and generally, a distinct difference in the relation which these two motor impulses bear to each other. among animals generally, economics are comparatively so simple that it is possible to satisfy the nutritive instinct without putting any hard pressure on the spontaneous play of the reproductive instinct. and nearly everywhere it is the female who has the chief voice in the establishment of sexual relationships. the males compete for the favour of the female by the fascination of their odour, or brilliant colour, or song, or grace, or strength, as revealed in what are usually mock-combats. the female is, in these respects, comparatively unaccomplished and comparatively passive. with her rests the final decision, and only after long hesitation, influenced, it seems, by a vaguely felt ideal resulting from her contemplation of the rivals, she calls the male of her choice.[ ] a dim instinct seems to warn her of the pains and cares of maternity, so that only the largest promises of pleasure can induce her to undertake the function of reproduction. in civilized man, on the other hand, as we know him, the situation is to some extent reversed; it is the woman who, by the display of her attractions, competes for the favour of the man. the final invitation does not come, as among animals generally, from the female; the decision rests with the man. it would be a mistake to suppose that this change reveals the evolution of a superior method; although it has developed the beauty of women, it has clearly had its origin in economic causes. the demands of nutrition have overridden those of reproduction; sexual selection has, to a large extent, given place to natural selection, a process clearly not for the advantage of the race. the changing status of women, in bestowing economic independence, will certainly tend to restore to sexual selection its due weight in human development. in so doing it will certainly tend also to destroy prostitution, which is simply one of the forms in which the merging of sexual selection in natural selection has shown itself. wherever sexual selection has free play, unhampered by economic considerations, prostitution is impossible. the dominant type of marriage is, like prostitution, founded on economic considerations; the woman often marries chiefly to earn her living; here, too, we may certainly expect profound modifications. we have long sought to preserve our social balance by placing an unreasonable licence in the one scale, an equally unreasonable abstinence in the other; the economic independence of women, tending to render both extremes unnecessary, can alone place the sexual relationships on a sound and free basis. the state regulation of marriage has undoubtedly played a large and important part in the evolution of society. at the present time the advantages of this artificial control no longer appear so obvious (even when the evidence of the law courts is put aside); they will vanish altogether when women have attained complete economic independence. with the disappearance of the artificial barriers in the way of friendship between the sexes and of the economic motive to sexual relationships--perhaps the two chief forces which now tend to produce promiscuous sexual intercourse, whether dignified or not with the name of marriage--men and women will be free to engage, unhampered, in the search, so complicated in a highly civilized condition of society, for a fitting mate.[ ] it is probable that this inevitable change will be brought about partly by the voluntary action of individuals, and in greater measure by the gradual and awkward method of shifting and ever freer divorce laws. the slow disintegration of state-regulated marriage from the latter cause may be observed now throughout the united states, where there is, on the whole, a developing tendency to frequency and facility of divorce. it is clear, however, that on this line marriage will not cease to be a concern to the state, and it may be as well to point out at once the important distinction between state-_regulated_ and state-_registered_ marriage. sexual relationships, so long as they do not result in the production of children, are matters in which the community has, as a community, little or no concern, but as soon as a sexual relationship results in the pregnancy of the woman the community is at once interested. at this point it is clearly the duty of the state to register the relationship.[ ] it is necessary to remember that the kind of equality of the sexes towards which this change of status is leading, is social equality--that is, equality of freedom. it is not an intellectual equality, still less is it likeness. men and women can only be alike mentally when they are alike in physical configuration and physiological function. even complete economic equality is not attainable. among animals which live in herds under the guidance of a leader, this leader is nearly always a male; there are few exceptions.[ ] in woman, the long period of pregnancy and lactation, and the prolonged helplessness of her child, render her for a considerable period of her life economically dependent. on whom shall she be dependent? this is a question of considerable moment. according to the old conception of the family, all the members were slaves producing for the benefit of the owner, and it was natural that the wife should be supported by the husband when she is producing slaves for his service. but this conception is, as we have seen, no longer possible. it is clearly unfair also to compel the mother to depend on her own previous exertions. the reproduction of the race is a social function, and we are compelled to conclude that it is the duty of the community, as a community, to provide for the child-bearer when in the exercise of her social function she is unable to provide for herself. the woman engaged in producing a new member, who may be a source of incalculable profit or danger to the whole community, cannot fail to be a source of the liveliest solicitude to everyone in the community, and it was a sane and beautiful instinct that found expression of old in the permission accorded to a pregnant woman to enter gardens and orchards, and freely help herself. whether this instinct will ever again be embodied in a new form, and the reproduction of the race be recognized as truly a social function, is a question which even yet lacks actuality. the care of the child-bearer and her child will at present continue to be a matter for individual arrangement. that it will be arranged much better than at present we may reasonably hope. on the one hand, the reckless multiplication of children will probably be checked; on the other hand, a large body of women will no longer be shut out from maternity. that the state should undertake the regulation of the birth-rate we can scarcely either desire or anticipate. undoubtedly the community has an abstract right to limit the number of its members. it may be pointed out, however, that under rational conditions of life the process would probably be self-regulating; in the human races, and also among animals generally, fertility diminishes as the organism becomes highly developed. and, without falling back on any natural law, it may be said that the extravagant procreation of children, leading to suffering both to parents and offspring, carried on under existing social conditions, is largely the result of ignorance, largely of religious or other superstition. a more developed social state would not be possible at all unless the social instincts were strong enough to check the reckless multiplication of offspring. richardson and others appear to advocate the special cultivation of a class of non-childbearing women. certainly no woman who freely chose should be debarred from belonging to such a class. but reproduction is the end and aim of all life everywhere, and in order to live a humanly complete life, every healthy woman should have, not sexual relationships only, but the exercise at least once in her life of the supreme function of maternity, and the possession of those experiences which only maternity can give. that unquestionably is the claim of natural and reasonable living in the social state towards which we are moving. to deal with the social organization of the future would be to pass beyond the limits that i have here set myself, and to touch on matters of which it is impossible to speak with certainty. the new culture of women, in the light and the open air, will doubtless solve many matters which now are dark to us. morgan supposed that it was in some measure the failure of the greeks and romans to develop their womanhood which brought the speedy downfall of classic civilization. the women of the future will help to renew art and science as well as life. they will do more even than this, for the destiny of the race rests with women. "i have sometimes thought," whitman wrote in his _democratic vistas_, "that the sole avenue and means to a reconstructed society depended primarily on a new birth, elevation, expansion, invigoration of women." that intuition is not without a sound basis, and if a great historical movement called for justification here would be enough. footnotes: [ ] this chapter was written so long ago as , and published in the _westminster review_ in the following year. i have pleasure in here including it exactly as it was originally written, not only because it has its proper place in the present volume, but because it may be regarded as a programme which i have since elaborated in numerous volumes. the original first section has, however, been omitted, as it embodied a statement of the matriarchal theory which, in view of the difficulty of the subject and the wide differences of opinion about it, i now consider necessary to express more guardedly (see, for a more recent statement, havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chap. x). with this exception, and the deletion of two insignificant footnotes, no changes have been made. after the lapse of a quarter of a century i find nothing that i seriously wish to withdraw and much that i now wish to emphasize. [ ] the following passage summarizes this _appeal_: "the simple and modest request is, that they may be permitted equal enjoyments with men, _provided they can, by the free and equal development and exercise of their faculties, procure for themselves such enjoyments_. they ask the same means that men possess of acquiring every species of knowledge, of unfolding every one of their faculties of mind and body that can be made tributary to their happiness. they ask every facility of access to every art, occupation, profession, from the highest to the lowest, without one exception, to which their inclinations and talents may direct and may fit them to occupy. they ask the removal of _all_ restraints and exclusions not applicable to men of equal capacities. they ask for perfectly equal political, civil, and domestic rights. they ask for equal obligations and equal punishments from the law with men in case of infraction of the same law by either party. they ask for an equal system of morals, founded on utility instead of caprice and unreasoning despotism, in which the same action, attended with the same consequences, whether done by man or woman, should be attended with the same portion of approbation or disapprobation; in which every pleasure, accompanied or followed by no preponderant evil, should be equally permitted to women and to men; in which every pleasure accompanied or followed by preponderant evil should be equally censured in women and in men." [ ] a period of transition not the less necessary although it is certainly disastrous and tends to produce an unwholesome tension between the sexes so long as men and women do not receive equal payment for equal work. "a thing of beauty is a joy for ever," as a working man in blackburn lately put it, "but when the thing of beauty takes to doing the work for s. a week that you have been paid s. for, you do not feel as if you cannot live without possessing that thing of beauty all to yourself, or that you are willing to lay your life and your fortune (when you have one) at its feet." on the other hand, the working girl in the same town often complains that a man will not look at a girl unless she is a "four-loom weaver," earning, that is, perhaps, s. or s. a week. [ ] see the very interesting work of alfred espinas, _des sociétés animales_, which contains many fruitful suggestions for the student of human sociology. [ ] the subtle and complex character of the sexual relationships in a high civilization, and the unhappy results of their state regulation, was well expressed by wilhehm von humboldt in his _ideen zu einen versuch, die grenzen der wirksamkeit des staates zu bestimmen_, so long ago as : "a union so closely allied with the very nature of the respective individuals must be attended with the most hurtful consequences when the state attempts to regulate it by law, or, through the force of its institutions, to make it repose on anything save simple inclination. when we remember, moreover, that the state can only contemplate the final results of such regulations on the race, we shall be still more ready to admit the justice of this conclusion. it may reasonably be argued that a solicitude for the race only conducts to the same results as the highest solicitude for the most beautiful development of the inner man. for after careful observation it has been found that the uninterrupted union of one man with one woman is most beneficial to the race, and it is likewise undeniable that no other union springs from true, natural, harmonious love. and further, it may be observed that such love leads to the same results as those very relations which law and custom tend to establish. the radical error seems to be that the law commands; whereas such a relation cannot mould itself according to external arrangements, but depends wholly on inclination; and wherever coercion or guidance comes into collision with inclination, they divert it still farther from the proper path. wherefore it appears to me that the state should not only loosen the bonds in this instance, and leave ampler freedom to the citizen, but that it should entirely withdraw its active solicitude from the institution of marriage, and both generally and in its particular modifications, should rather leave it wholly to the free choice of the individuals, and the various contracts they may enter into with respect to it. i should not be deterred from the adoption of this principle by the fear that all family relations might be disturbed, for although such a fear might be justified by considerations of particular circumstances and localities, it could not fairly be entertained in an inquiry into the nature of men and states in general. for experience frequently convinces us that just where law has imposed no fetters, morality most surely binds; the idea of external coercion is one entirely foreign to an institution which, like marriage, reposes only on inclination and an inward sense of duty; and the results of such coercive institutions do not at all correspond to the intentions in which they originate." [ ] such register should, as bertillon rightly insisted, be of the most complete description--setting forth all the anthropological traits of the contracting parties--so that the characteristics of a human group at any time and place may be studied and compared. registration of this kind would, beside its more obvious convenience, form an almost indispensable guide to the higher evolution of the race. i may here add that i have assumed, perhaps too rashly, that the natural tendency among civilized men and women is towards a monogamic and more or less permanent union; preceded, it may be in most individuals, by a more restless period of experiment. undoubtedly, many variations will arise in the future, leading to more complex relationships. such variations cannot be foreseen, and when they arise they will still have to prove their stability and their advantage to the race. [ ] as among geese, and, occasionally, it is said, among elephants. iii the new aspect of the woman's movement eighteenth-century france--pioneers of the woman's movement--the growth of the woman's suffrage movement--the militant activities of the suffragettes--their services and disservices to the cause--advantages of women's suffrage--sex questions in germany--bebel--the woman's rights movement in germany--the development of sexual science in germany--the movement for the protection of motherhood--ellen key--the question of illegitimacy--eugenics--women as law-makers in the home. i the modern conception of the political equality of women with men, we have seen, arose in france in the second half of the eighteenth century. its way was prepared by the philosophic thinkers of the _encyclopédie_, and the idea was definitely formulated by some of the finest minds of the age, notably by condorcet,[ ] as part of the great new programme of social and political reform which was to some small degree realized in the upheaval of the revolution. the political emancipation of women constituted no part of the revolution. it has indeed been maintained, and perhaps with reason, that the normal development of the revolutionary spirit would probably have ended in vanquishing the claim of masculine predominance if war had not diverted the movement of revolution by transforming it into the terror. even as it was, the rights of women were not without their champions even at this period. we ought specially to remember olympe de gouges, whose name is sometimes dismissed too contemptuously. with all her defects of character and education and literary style, olympe de gouges, as is now becoming recognized, was, in her biographer's words, "one of the loftiest and most generous souls of the epoch," in some respects superior to madame roland. she was the first woman to demand of the revolution that it should be logical by proclaiming the rights of woman side by side with those of her equal, man, and in so doing she became the great pioneer of the feminist movement of to-day.[ ] she owes the position more especially to her little pamphlet, issued in , entitled _déclaration des droits de la femme_. it is this _déclaration_ which contains the oft-quoted (or misquoted) saying: "women have the right to ascend the scaffold; they must also have the right to ascend the tribune." two years later she had herself ascended the scaffold, but the other right she claimed is only now beginning to be granted to women. at that time there were too many more pressing matters to be dealt with, and the only women who had been taught to demand the rights of their sex were precisely those whom the revolution was guillotining or exiling. even had it been otherwise, we may be quite sure that napoleon, the heir of the revolution and the final arbiter of what was to be permanent in its achievements, would have sternly repressed any political freedom accorded to women. the only freedom he cared to grant to women was the freedom to produce food for cannon, and so far as lay in his power he sought to crush the political activities of women even in literature, as we see in his treatment of mme de staël.[ ] an englishwoman of genius was in paris at the time of the revolution, with as broad a conception of the place of woman side by side with man as olympe de gouges, while for the most part she was olympe's superior. in , a year after the _déclaration des droits de la femme_, mary wollstonecraft--it is possible to some extent inspired by the brief _déclaration_--published her _vindication of the rights of women_. it was not a shrill outcry, nor an attack on men--in that indeed resembling the _déclaration_--but just the book of a woman, a wise and sensible woman, who discusses many women's questions from a woman's point of view, and desires civil and political rights, not as a panacea for all evils, but simply because, as she argues, humanity cannot progress as a whole while one half of it is semi-educated and only half free. there can be little doubt that if the later advocates of woman's suffrage could have preserved more of mary wollstonecraft's sanity, moderation, and breadth of outlook, they would have diminished the difficulties that beset the task of convincing the community generally. mary wollstonecraft was, however, the inspired pioneer of a great movement which slowly gained force and volume.[ ] during the long victorian period the practical aims of this movement went chiefly into the direction of improving the education of girls so as to make it, so far as possible, like that of boys. in this matter an immense revolution was slowly accomplished, involving the entrance of women into various professions and employments hitherto reserved to men. that was a very necessary preliminary to the extension of the franchise to women. the suffrage propaganda could not, moreover, fail to benefit by the better education of women and their increased activity in public life. it was their activity, indeed, far more than the skill of the women who fought for the franchise, which made the political emancipation of women inevitable, and the noble and brilliant women who through the middle of the nineteenth century recreated the educational system for women, and so prepared them to play their proper part in life, were the best women workers the cause of women's enfranchisement ever had. there was, however, one distinguished friend of the emancipation of women whose advocacy of the cause at this period was of immense value. it is now nearly half a century since john stuart mill--inspired, like thompson, by a woman--wrote his _subjection of women_, and it may undoubtedly be said that since that date no book on this subject published in any country--with the single exception of bebel's _woman_--has been so widely read or so influential. the support of this distinguished and authoritative thinker gave to the woman's movement a stamp of aristocratic intellectuality very valuable in a land where even the finest minds are apt to be afflicted by the disease of timidity, and was doubtless a leading cause of the cordial reception which in england the idea of women's political emancipation has long received among politicians. bebel's book, speedily translated into english, furnished the plebeian complement to mill's. the movement for the education of women and their introduction into careers previously monopolized by men inevitably encouraged the movement for extending the franchise to women. this political reform was remarkably successful in winning over the politicians, and not those of one party only. in england, since mill published his _subjection of women_ in , there have always been eminent statesmen convinced of the desirability of granting the franchise to women, and among the rank and file of members of parliament, irrespective of party, a very large proportion have pledged themselves to the same cause. the difficulty, therefore, in introducing woman's suffrage into england has not been primarily in parliament. the one point, at which political party feeling has caused obstruction--and it is certainly a difficult and important point--is the method by which woman's suffrage should be introduced. each party--conservative, liberal, labour--naturally enough desires that this great new voting force should first be applied at a point which would not be likely to injure its own party interests. it is probable that in each party the majority of the leaders are of opinion that the admission of female voters is inevitable and perhaps desirable; the dispute is as to the extent to which the floodgates should in the first place be opened. in accordance with english tradition, some kind of compromise, however illogical, suggests itself as the safest first step, but the dispute remains as to the exact class of women who should be first admitted and the exact extent to which entrance should be granted to them. the dispute of the gate-keepers would, however, be easily overcome if the pressure behind the gate were sufficiently strong. but it is not. however large a proportion of the voters in great britain may be in favour of women's franchise, it is certain that only a very minute percentage regard this as a question having precedency over all other questions. and the reason why men have only taken a very temperate interest in woman's suffrage is that women themselves, in the mass, have taken an equally temperate interest in the matter when they have not been actually hostile to the movement. it may indeed be said, even at the present time, that whenever an impartial poll is taken of a large miscellaneous group of women, only a minority are found to be in favour of woman's suffrage.[ ] no significant event has occurred to stimulate general interest in the matter, and no supremely eloquent or influential voice has artificially stirred it. there has been no woman of mary wollstonecraft's genius and breadth of mind who has devoted herself to the cause, and since mill the men who have made up their minds on this side have been content to leave the matter to the women's associations formed for securing the success of the cause. these associations have, however, been led by women of a past generation, who, while of unquestionable intellectual power and high moral character, have viewed the woman question in a somewhat narrow, old-fashioned spirit, and have not possessed the gift of inspiring enthusiasm. thus the growth of the movement, however steady it may have been, has been slow. john stuart mill's remark, in a letter to bain in , remains true to-day: "the most important thing women have to do is to stir up the zeal of women themselves." in the meanwhile in some other countries where, except in the united states, it was of much more recent growth, the woman's suffrage movement has achieved success, with no great expenditure of energy. it has been introduced into several american states and territories. it is established throughout australasia. it is also established in norway. in finland women may not only vote, but also sit in parliament. it was in these conditions that the women's social and political union was formed in london. it was not an offshoot from any existing woman's suffrage society, but represented a crystallization of new elements. for the most part, even its leaders had not previously taken any active part in the movement for woman's suffrage. the suffrage movement had need of exactly such an infusion of fresh and ardent blood; so that the new society was warmly welcomed, and met with immediate success, finding recruits alike among the rich and the poor. its unconventional methods, its eager and militant spirit, were felt to supply a lacking element, and the first picturesque and dashing exploits of the union were on the whole well received. the obvious sincerity and earnestness of these very fresh recruits covered the rashness of their new and rather ignorant enthusiasm. but a hasty excess of ardour only befits a first uncalculated outburst of youthfulness. it is quite another matter when it is deliberately hardened into a rigid routine, and becomes an organized method of creating disorder for the purpose of advertising a grievance in season and out of season. since, moreover, the attack was directed chiefly against politicians, precisely that class of the community most inclined to be favourable to woman's suffrage, the wrong-headedness of the movement becomes as striking as its offensiveness. the effect on the early friends of the new movement was inevitable. some, who had hailed it with enthusiasm and proclaimed its pioneers as new joans of arc, changed their tone to expostulation and protest, and finally relapsed into silence. other friends of the movement, even among its former leaders, were less silent. they have revealed to the world, too unkindly, some of the influences which slowly corrupt such a movement from the inside when it hardens into sectarianism: the narrowing of aim, the increase of conventionality, the jealousy of rivals, the tendency to morbid emotionalism. it is easy to exaggerate the misdeeds and the weaknesses of the suffragettes. it is undoubtedly true that they have alienated, in an increasing degree, the sympathies of the women of highest character and best abilities among the advocates of woman's suffrage. nearly all englishwomen to-day who stand well above the average in mental distinction are in favour of woman's suffrage, though they may not always be inclined to take an active part in securing it. perhaps the only prominent exception is mrs. humphry ward. yet they rarely associate themselves with the methods of the suffragettes. they do not, indeed, protest, for they feel there would be a kind of disloyalty in fighting against the extreme left of a movement to which they themselves belong; but they stand aloof. the women who are chiefly attracted to the ranks of the suffragettes belong to three classes: ( ) those of the well-to-do class with no outlet for their activities, who eagerly embrace an exciting occupation which has become, not only highly respectable, but even, in a sense, fashionable; they have no natural tendency to excess, but are easily moved by their social environment; some of these are rich, and the great principle--once formulated in an unhappy moment concerning a rich lady interested in social reform--"we must not kill the goose that lays the golden eggs," has never been despised by the suffragette leaders; ( ) the rowdy element among women which is not so much moved to adopt the methods for the sake of the cause as to adopt the cause for the sake of the methods, so that in the case of their special emotional temperament it may be said, reversing an ancient phrase, that the means justify the end; this element of noisy explosiveness, always found in a certain proportion of women, though latent under ordinary circumstances, is easily aroused by stimulation, and in every popular revolt the wildest excesses are the acts of women. ( ) in this small but important group we find women of rare and beautiful character who, hypnotized by the enthralling influence of an idea, and often having no great intellectual power of their own, are even unconscious of the vulgarity that accompanies them, and gladly sacrifice themselves to a cause that seems to be sacred; these are the saints and martyrs of every movement. when we thus analyse the suffragette outburst we see that it is really compounded out of quite varied elements: a conventionally respectable element, a rowdy element, and an ennobling element. it is, therefore, equally unreasonable to denounce its vices or to idealize its virtues. it is more profitable to attempt to balance its services and its disservices to the cause of women's suffrage. looked at dispassionately, the two main disadvantages of the suffragette agitation--and they certainly seem at the first glance very comprehensive objections--lie in its direction and in its methods. there are two vast bodies of people who require to be persuaded in order to secure woman's suffrage: first women themselves, and secondly their men-folk, who at present monopolize the franchise. until the majority of both men and women are educated to understand the justice and reasonableness of this step, and until men are persuaded that the time has come for practical action, the most violent personal assaults on cabinet ministers--supposing such political methods to be otherwise unobjectionable--are beside the mark. they are aimed in the wrong direction. this is so even when we leave aside the fact that politicians are sufficiently converted already. the primary task of women suffragists is to convert their own sex. indeed it may be said that that is their whole task. whenever the majority of women are persuaded that they ought to possess the vote, we may be quite sure that they will communicate that persuasion to their men-folk who are able to give them the vote. the conversion of the majority of women to a belief in women's suffrage is essential to its attainment because it is only by the influence of the women who belong to him, whom he knows and loves and respects, that the average man is likely to realize that, as ellen key puts it, "a ballot paper in itself no more injures the delicacy of a woman's hand than a cooking recipe." the antics of women in the street, however earnest those women may be, only leave him indifferent, even hostile, at most, amused. it may be added that in any case it would be undesirable, even if possible, to bestow the suffrage on women so long as only a minority have the wish to exercise it. it would be contrary to sound public policy. it would not only discredit political rights, but it would tend to give the woman's vote too narrow and one-sided a character. to grant women the right to vote is a different matter from granting women the right to enter a profession. in order to give women the right to be doctors or lawyers it is not necessary that women generally should be convinced of the advantage of such a step. the matter chiefly concerns the very small number of women who desire the privilege. but the women who vote will be in some measure legislating for women generally, and it is therefore necessary that women generally should participate. but even if it is admitted--although, as we have seen, there is a twofold reason for not making such an admission--that the suffragettes are justified in regarding politicians as the obstacles in the way of their demands, there still remains the question of the disadvantage of their method. this method is by some euphemistically described as the introduction of "nagging" into politics; but even at this mild estimate of its character the question may still be asked whether the method is calculated to attain the desired end. one hears women suffragettes declare that this is the only kind of argument men understand. there is, however, in the masculine mind--and by no means least when it is british--an element which strongly objects to be worried and bullied even into a good course of action. the suffragettes have done their best to stimulate that element of obstinacy. even among men who viewed the matter from an unprejudiced standpoint many felt that, necessary as woman's suffrage is, the policy of the suffragettes rendered the moment unfavourable for its adoption. it is a significant fact that in the countries which have so far granted women the franchise no methods in the slightest degree resembling those of the suffragettes have ever been practised. it is not easy to imagine australia tolerating such methods, and in finland full parliamentary rights were freely granted, as is generally recognized, precisely as a mark of gratitude for women's helpfulness in standing side by side with their men in a great political struggle. the policy of obstruction adopted by the english suffragettes, with its "tactics" of opposing at election times the candidates of the very party whose leaders they are imploring to grant them the franchise, was so foolish that it is little wonder that many doubted whether women at all understand the methods of politics, or are yet fitted to take a responsible part in political life. the suffragette method of persuading public men seems to be, on the whole, futile, even if it were directed at the proper quarter, and even if it were in itself a justifiable method. but it would be possible to grant these "ifs" and still to feel that a serious injury is done to the cause of woman's suffrage when the method of violence is adopted by women. some suffragettes have argued, in this matter, that in political crises men also have acted just as badly or worse. but, even if we assume that this is the case,[ ] it has been one of the chief arguments hitherto for the admission of women into political life that they exercise an elevating and refining influence, so that their entrance into this field will serve to purify politics. that, no doubt, is an argument mostly brought forward by men, and may be regarded as, in some measure, an amiable masculine delusion, since most of the refining and elevating elements in civilization probably owe their origin not to women but to men. but it is not altogether a delusion. in the virtues of force--however humbly those virtues are to be classed--women, as a sex, can never be the rivals of men, and when women attempt to gain their ends by the demonstration of brute force they can only place themselves at a disadvantage. they are laying down the weapons they know best how to use, and adopting weapons so unsuitable that they only injure the users. many women, speaking on behalf of the suffragettes, protest against the idea that women must always be "charming." and if "charm" is to be understood in so narrow and conventionalized a sense that it means something which is incompatible with the developed natural activities, whether of the soul or of the body, then such a protest is amply justified. but in the larger sense, "charm"--which means the power to effect work without employing brute force--is indispensable to women. charm is a woman's strength just as strength is a man's charm. and the justification for women in this matter is that herein they represent the progress of civilization. all civilization involves the substitution in this respect of the woman's method for the man's. in the last resort a savage can only assert his rights by brute force. but with the growth of civilization the wronged man, instead of knocking down his opponent, employs "charm"; in other words he engages an advocate, who, by the exercise of sweet reasonableness, persuades twelve men in a box that his wrongs must be righted, and the matter is then finally settled, not by man's weapon, the fist, but by woman's weapon, the tongue. nowadays the same method of "charm" is being substituted for brute force in international wrongs, and with the complete substitution of arbitration for war the woman's method of charm will have replaced the man's method of brute force along the whole line of legitimate human activity. if we realize this we can understand why it is that a group of women who, even in the effort to support a good cause, revert to the crude method of violence are committing a double wrong. they are wronging their own sex by proving false to its best traditions, and they are wronging civilization by attempting to revive methods of savagery which it is civilization's mission to repress. therefore it may fairly be held that even if the methods of the suffragettes were really adequate to secure women's suffrage, the attainment of the franchise by those methods would be a misfortune. the ultimate loss would be greater than the gain. if we hold the foregoing considerations in mind it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that neither in their direction nor in their nature are the methods of the suffragettes fitted to attain the end desired. we have still, however, to consider the other side of the question. whenever an old movement receives a strong infusion of new blood, whatever excesses or mistakes may arise, it is very unlikely that all the results will be on the same side. it is certainly not so in this case. even the opposition to woman's suffrage which the suffragettes are responsible for, and the anti-suffrage societies which they have called into active existence, are not an unmitigated disadvantage. every movement of progress requires a vigorous movement of opposition to stimulate its progress, and the clash of discussion can only be beneficial in the end to the progressive cause. but the immense advantage of the activity of the suffragettes has been indirect. it has enabled the great mass of ordinary sensible women who neither join suffrage societies nor anti-suffrage societies to think for themselves on this question. until a few years ago, while most educated women were vaguely aware of the existence of a movement for giving women the vote, they only knew of it as something rather unpractical and remote; its reality had never been brought home to them. when women witnessed the eruption into the streets of a band of women--most of them apparently women much like themselves--who were so convinced that the franchise must be granted to women, here and now, that they were prepared to face publicity, ridicule, and even imprisonment, then "votes for women" became to them, for the first time, a real and living issue. in a great many cases, certainly, they realized that they intensely disliked the people who behaved in this way and any cause that was so preached. but in a great many other cases they realized, for the first time definitely, that the demand of votes for women was a reasonable demand, and that they were themselves suffragists, though they had no wish to take an active part in the movement, and no real sympathy with its more "militant" methods. there can be no doubt that in this way the suffragettes have performed an immense service for the cause of women's suffrage. it has been for the most part an indirect and undesigned service, but in the end it will perhaps more than serve to counterbalance the disadvantages attached to their more conscious methods and their more deliberate aims. if, as we may trust, this service will be the main outcome of the suffragette phase of the women's movement, it is an outcome to be thankful for; we may then remember with gratitude the ardent enthusiasm of the suffragettes and forget the foolish and futile ways in which it was manifested. there has never been any doubt as to the ultimate adoption of women's suffrage; its gradual extension among the more progressive countries of the world sufficiently indicates that it will ultimately reach even to the most backward countries. its accomplishment in england has been gradual, although it is here so long since the first steps were taken, not because there has been some special and malignant opposition to it on the part of men in general and politicians in particular, but simply because england is an old and conservative country, with a very ancient constitutional machinery which effectually guards against the hasty realization of any scheme of reform. this particular reform, however, is not an isolated or independent scheme; it is an essential part of a great movement in the social equalization of the sexes which has been going on for centuries in our civilization, a movement such as may be correspondingly traced in the later stages of the civilizations of antiquity. such a movement we may by our efforts help forward, we may for a while retard, but it is a part of civilization, and it would be idle to imagine that we can affect the ultimate issue. that the issue of women's suffrage may be reached in england within a reasonable period is much to be desired for the sake of the woman's movement in the larger sense, which has nothing to do with politics, and is now impeded by this struggle. the enfranchisement of women, miss frances cobbe declared thirty years ago, is "the crown and completion" of all progress in women's movement. "votes for women," exclaims, more youthfully but not less unreasonably, miss christabel pankhurst, "means a new heaven and a new earth." but women's suffrage no more means a new heaven or even a new earth than it means, as other people fear, a new purgatory and a new hell. we may see this quite plainly in australasia. women's votes aid in furthering social legislation and contribute to the passing of acts which have their good side, and, no doubt, like everything else, their bad side. as elizabeth cady stanton, who devoted her life to the political enfranchisement of women, declared, the ballot is, at most, only the vestibule to women's emancipation. man's suffrage has not introduced the millennium, and it is foolish to suppose that woman's suffrage can. it is merely an act of justice and a reasonable condition of social hygiene. the attainment of the suffrage, if it is a beginning and not an end, will thus have a real and positive value in liberating the woman's movement from a narrow and sterilizing phase of its course. in england, especially, the woman's movement has in the past largely confined itself to imitating men and to obtaining the same work and the same rights as men. putting the matter more broadly, it may be said that it has been the aim of the woman's movement to secure woman's claims as a human being rather than as woman. but that is only half the task of the woman's movement, and perhaps not the most essential half. women can never be like men, any more than men can be like women. it is their unlikeness which renders them indispensable to each other, and which also makes it imperative that each sex should have its due share in moulding the conditions of life. woman's function in life can never be the same as man's, if only because women are the mothers of the race. that is the point, the only point, at which women have an uncontested supremacy over men. the most vital problem before our civilization to-day is the problem of motherhood, the question of creating the human beings best fitted for modern life, the practical realization of a sound eugenics. manouvrier, the distinguished anthropologist, who carries feminism to its extreme point in the scientific sphere, yet recognizes the fundamental fact that "a woman's part is to make children." but he clearly perceives also that "in all its extent and all its consequences that part is not surpassed in importance, in difficulty, or in dignity, by the man's part." on the contrary it is a part which needs "an amount of intelligence incontestably superior, and by far, to that required by most masculine occupations."[ ] we are here at the core of the woman's movement. and the full fruition of that movement means that women, by virtue of their supremacy in this matter, shall take their proper share in legislation for life, not as mere sexless human beings, but as women, and in accordance with the essential laws of their own nature as women. ii there is a further question. is it possible to discern the actual embodiment of this new phase of the woman movement? i think it is. to those who are accustomed to watch the emotional pulse of mankind, nothing has seemed so remarkable during recent years as the eruption of sex questions in germany. we had always been given to understand that the sphere of women and the laws of marriage had been definitely prescribed and fixed in germany for at least two thousand years, since the days of tacitus, in fact, and with the best possible results. germans assured the world in stentorian tones that only in germany could young womanhood be seen in all its purity, and that in the german _hausfrau_ the supreme ideal had been reached, the woman whose great mission is to keep alive the perennial fire of the ancient german hearth. here and there, indeed, the quiet voice of science was heard in germany; thus schrader, the distinguished investigator of teutonic origins, in commenting on the oft-quoted testimony of tacitus to the chastity of the german women, has appositely referred to the detailed evidences furnished by the committee of pastors of the evangelical church as to the extreme prevalence of unchastity among the women of rural germany, and argued that these widespread customs must be very ancient and deep-rooted.[ ] but germans in general refused to admit that tacitus had only used the idea of german virtue as a stick to beat his own fellow-countrywomen with. the social-democratic movement, which has so largely overspread industrial and even intellectual germany, prepared the way for a less traditional and idealistic way of feeling in regard to these questions. the publication by bebel of a book, _die frau_, in which the leader of the german social-democratic party set forth the socialist doctrine of the position of women in society, marked the first stage in the new movement. this book exercised a wide influence, more especially on uncritical readers. it is, indeed, from a scientific point of view a worthless book--if a book in which genuine emotions are brought to the cause of human freedom and social righteousness may ever be so termed--but it struck a rude blow at the traditions of teutonic sentiment. with something of the rough tone and temper of the great peasant who initiated the german reformation, a man who had himself sprung from the people, and who knew of what he was speaking, here set down in downright fashion the actual facts as to the position of women in germany, as well as what he conceived to be the claims of justice in regard to that position, slashing with equal vigour alike at the absurdities of conventional marriage and of prostitution, the obverse and the reverse, he declared, of a false society. the emotional renaissance with which we are here concerned seems to have no special and certainly no exclusive association with the social-democratic movement, but it can scarcely be doubted that the permeation of a great mass of the german people by the socialistic conceptions which in their bearing on women have been rendered so familiar by bebel's exposition has furnished, as it were, a ready-made sounding-board which has given resonance and effect to voices which might otherwise have been quickly lost in vacuity. there is another movement which counts for something in the renaissance we are here concerned with, though for considerably less than one might be led to expect. what is specifically known as the "woman's rights' movement" is in no degree native to germany, though hippel is one of the pioneers of the woman's movement, and it is only within recent years that it has reached germany. it is alien to the teutonic feminine mind, because in germany the spheres of men and women are so far apart and so unlike that the ideal of imitating men fails to present itself to a german woman's mind. the delay, moreover, in the arrival of the woman's movement in germany had given time for a clearer view of that movement and a criticism of its defects to form even in the lands of its origin, so that the german woman can no longer be caught unawares by the cry for woman's rights. still, however qualified a view might be taken of its benefits, it had to be recognized, even in germany, that it was an inevitable movement, and to some extent at all events indispensable from the woman's point of view. the same right to education as men, the same rights of public meeting and discussion, the same liberty to enter the liberal professions, these are claims which during recent years have been widely made by german women and to some extent secured, while--as is even more significant--they are for the most part no longer very energetically disputed. the international congress of women which met in berlin in was a revelation to the citizens of berlin of the skill and dignity with which women could organize a congress and conduct business meetings. it was notable, moreover, in that, though under the auspices of an international council, it showed the large number of german women who are already entitled to take a leading part in the movements for women's welfare. both directly and indirectly, indeed, such a movement cannot be otherwise than specially beneficial in germany. the teutonic reverence for woman, the assertion of the "aliquid divinum," has sometimes been accompanied by the openly expressed conviction that she is a fool. outside germany it would not be easy to find the representative philosophers of a nation putting forward so contemptuous a view of women as is set forth by schopenhauer or by nietzsche, while even within recent years a german physician of some ability, the late dr. möbius, published a book on the "physiological weak-mindedness of women." the new feminine movement in germany has received highly important support from the recent development of german science. the german intellect, exceedingly comprehensive in its outlook, ploddingly thorough, and imperturbably serious, has always taken the leading and pioneering part in the investigation of sexual problems, whether from the standpoint of history, biology, or pathology. early in the nineteenth century, when even more courage and resolution were needed to face the scientific study of such questions than is now the case, german physicians, unsupported by any co-operation in other countries, were the pioneers in exploring the paths of sexual pathology.[ ] from the antiquarian side, bachofen, more than half a century ago, put forth his conception of the exalted position of the primitive mother which, although it has been considerably battered by subsequent research, has been by no means without its value, and is of special significance from the present standpoint, because it sprang from precisely the same view of life as that animating the german women who are to-day inaugurating the movement we are here concerned with. from the medical side the late professor krafft-ebing of vienna and dr. albert moll of berlin are recognized throughout the world as leading authorities on sexual pathology, and in recent times many other german physicians of the first authority can be named in this field; while in austria dr. f.s. krauss and his coadjutors in the annual volumes of _anthropophyteia_ are diligently exploring the rich and fruitful field of sexual folk-lore. the large volumes of the _jahrbuch für sexuelle zwischenstufen_, edited by dr. magnus hirschfeld of berlin, have presented discussions of the commonest of sexual aberrations with a scientific and scholarly thoroughness, a practical competence, as well as admirable tone, which we may seek in vain in other countries. in vienna, moreover, professor freud, with his bold and original views on the sexual causation of many abnormal mental and nervous conditions, and his psycho-analytic method of investigating and treating them, although his doctrines are by no means universally accepted, is yet exerting a revolutionary influence all over the world. during the last ten years, indeed, the amount of german scientific and semi-scientific literature, dealing with every aspect of the sexual question, and from every point of view, is altogether unparalleled. it need scarcely be said that much of this literature is superficial or worthless. but much of it is sound, and it would seem that on the whole it is this portion of it which is most popular. thus dr. august forel, formerly professor of psychiatry at zurich and a physician of world-wide reputation, published a few years ago at munich a book on the sexual question, _die sexuelle frage_, in which all the questions of the sexual life, biological, medical, and social, are seriously discussed with no undue appeal to an ignorant public; it had an immediate success and a large sale. dr. forel had not entered this field before; he had merely come to the conclusion that every man at the end of his life ought to set forth his observations and conclusions regarding the most vital of questions. again, at about the same time, dr. iwan bloch, of berlin, published his many-sided work on the sexual life of our time, _das sexualleben unserer zeit_, a work less remarkable than forel's for the weight of the personal authority expressed, but more remarkable by the range of its learning and the sympathetic attitude it displayed towards the best movements of the day; this book also met with great success.[ ] still more recently ( ) dr. albert moll, with characteristic scientific thoroughness, has edited, and largely himself written, a truly encyclopædic _handbuch der sexualwissenschaften_. the eminence of the writers of these books and the mental calibre needed to read them suffice to show that we are not concerned, as a careless observer might suppose, with a matter of supply and demand in prurient literature, but with the serious and widespread appreciation of serious investigations. this same appreciation is shown not only by several bio-sociological periodicals of high scientific quality, but by the existence of a journal like _sexual-probleme_, edited by dr. max marcuse, a journal with many distinguished contributors, and undoubtedly the best periodical in this field to be found in any language. at the same time the new movement of german women, however it may arise from or be supported by political or scientific movements, is fundamentally emotional in its character. if we think of it, every great movement of the teutonic soul has been rooted in emotion. the german literary renaissance of the eighteenth century was emotional in its origin and received its chief stimulus from the contagion of the new irruption of sentiment in france. even german science is often influenced, and not always to its advantage, by german sentiment. the reformation is an example on a huge scale of the emotional force which underlies german movements. luther, for good and for evil, is the most typical of germans, and the luther who made his mark in the world--the shrewd, coarse, superstitious peasant who blossomed into genius--was an avalanche of emotion, a great mass of natural human instincts irresistible in their impetuosity. when we bear in mind this general tendency to emotional expansiveness in the manifestations of the teutonic soul we need feel no surprise that the present movement among german women should be, to a much greater extent than the corresponding movements in other countries, an emotional renaissance. it is not, first and last, a cry for political rights, but for emotional rights, and for the reasonable regulation of all those social functions which are founded on the emotions.[ ] this movement, although it may properly be said to be german, since its manifestations are mainly exhibited in the great german empire, is yet essentially a teutonic movement in the broader sense of the word. germans of austria, germans of switzerland, dutch women, scandinavians, have all been drawn into this movement. but it is in germany proper that they all find the chief field of their activities. if we attempt to define in a single sentence the specific object of this agitation we may best describe it as based on the demands of woman the mother, and as directed to the end of securing for her the right to control and regulate the personal and social relations which spring from her nature as mother or possible mother. therein we see at once both the intimately emotional and practical nature of this new claim and its decisive unlikeness to the earlier woman movement. that was definitely a demand for emancipation; political enfranchisement was its goal; its perpetual assertion was that women must be allowed to do everything that men do. but the new teutonic woman's movement, so far from making as its ideal the imitation of men, bases itself on that which most essentially marks the woman as unlike the man. the basis of the movement is significantly indicated by the title, _mutterschutz_--the protection of the mother--originally borne by "a journal for the reform of sexual morals," established in , edited by dr. helene stöcker, of berlin, and now called _die neue generation_. all the questions that radiate outwards from the maternal function are here discussed: the ethics of love, prostitution ancient and modern, the position of illegitimate mothers and illegitimate children, sexual hygiene, the sexual instruction of the young, etc. it must not be supposed that these matters are dealt with from the standpoint of a vigilance society for combating vice. the demand throughout is for the regulation of life, for reform, but for reform quite as much in the direction of expansion as of restraint. on many matters of detail, indeed, there is no agreement among these writers, some of whom approach the problems from the social and practical side, some from the psychological and philosophic side, others from the medical, legal, or historical sides. this journal was originally the organ of the association for the protection of mothers, more especially unmarried mothers, called the _bund für mutterschutz_. there are many agencies for dealing with illegitimate children, but the founders of this association started from the conviction that it is only through the mother that the child can be adequately cared for. as nearly a tenth of the children born in germany are illegitimate, and the conditions of life into which such children are thrown are in the highest degree unfavourable, the question has its actuality.[ ] it is the aim of the _bund für mutterschutz_ to rehabilitate the unmarried mother, to secure for her the conditions of economic independence--whatever social class she may belong to--and ultimately to effect a change in the legal status of illegitimate mothers and children alike. the bund, which is directed by a committee in which social, medical, and legal interests are alike represented, already possesses numerous branches, in addition to its head-quarters in berlin, and is beginning to initiate practical measures on the lines of its programme, notably homes for mothers, of which it has established nearly a dozen in different parts of germany. in the first international congress for the protection of mothers and for sexual reform was held at dresden, in connection with the great exhibition of hygiene. as a result of this congress, an international union was constituted, representing germany, austria, italy, sweden, and holland, which may probably be taken to be the countries which have so far manifested greatest interest in the programme of sexual reform based on recognition of the supreme importance of motherhood. this movement may, therefore, be said to have overcome the initial difficulties, the antagonism, the misunderstanding, and the opprobrium, which every movement in the field of sexual reform inevitably encounters, and often succumbs to. it would be a mistake to regard this association as a merely philanthropic movement. it claims to be "an association for the reform of sexual ethics," and _die neue generation_ deals with social and ethical rather than with philanthropic questions. in these respects it reflects the present attitude of many thoughtful german women, though the older school of women's rights advocates still holds aloof. we may here, for instance, find a statement of the recent discussion concerning the right of the mother to destroy her offspring before birth. this has been boldly claimed for women by countess gisela von streitberg, who advocates a return to the older moral view which prevailed not only in classic antiquity, but even, under certain conditions, in christian practice, until canon law, asserting that the embryo had from the first an independent life, pronounced abortion under all circumstances a crime. countess von streitberg takes the standpoint that as the chief risks and responsibilities must necessarily rest upon the woman, it is for her to decide whether she will permit the embryo she bears to develop. dr. marie raschke, taking up the discussion from the legal side, is unable to agree that abortion should cease to be a punishable offence, though she advocates considerable modifications in the law on this matter. dr. siegfried weinberg, summarizing this discussion, again from the legal standpoint, considers that there is considerable right on the countess's side, because from the modern juridical standpoint a criminal enactment is only justified because it protects a right, and in law the embryo possesses no rights which can be injured. from the moral standpoint, also, it is argued, its destruction often becomes justifiable in the interests of the community. this debatable question, while instructive as an example of the radical manner in which german women are now beginning to face moral questions, deals only with an isolated point which has hardly yet reached the sphere of practical politics.[ ] it is more interesting to consider the general conceptions which underlie this movement, and we can hardly do this better than by studying the writings of ellen key, who is not only one of its recognized leaders, but may be said to present its aims and ideals in a broader and more convinced manner than any other writer. ellen key's views are mainly contained in three books, _love and marriage_, _the century of the child_, and _the women's movement_, in which form they enjoy a large circulation, and are now becoming well known, through translations, in england and america. she carefully distinguishes her aims from what she regards as the american conception of progress in woman's movements, that is to say the tendency for women to seek to capture the activities which may be much more adequately fulfilled by the other sex, while at the same time neglecting the far weightier matters that concern their own sex. man and woman are not natural enemies who need to waste their energies in fighting over their respective rights and privileges; in spiritual as in physical life they are only fruitful together. women, indeed, need free scope for their activities--and the earlier aspirations of feminism are thus justified--but they need it, not to wrest away any tasks that men may be better fitted to perform, but to play their part in that field of creative life which is peculiarly their own. ellen key would say that the highest human unit is triune: father, mother, and child. marriage, therefore, instead of being, as it is to-day, the last thing to be thought of in education, becomes the central point of life. in ellen key's conception, "those who love each other are man and wife," and by love she means not a temporary inclination, but "a synthesis of desire and friendship," just as the air is a mixture of oxygen and nitrogen. it must be this for both sexes alike, and ellen key sees a real progress in what seems to her the modern tendency for men to realize that the soul has its erotic side, and for women to realize that the senses have. she has no special sympathy with the cry for purity in masculine candidates for marriage put forward by some women of the present day. she observes that many men who have painfully struggled to maintain this ideal meet with disillusion, for it is not the masculine lamb, but much more the spotted leopard, who fascinates women. the notion that women have higher moral instincts than men ellen key regards as absurd. the majority of frenchwomen, she remarks, were against dreyfus, and the majority of englishwomen approved the south african war. the really fundamental difference between man and woman is that he can usually give his best as a creator, and she as a lover, that his value is according to his work and hers according to her love. and in love the demand for each sex alike must not be primarily for a mere anatomical purity, but for passion and for sincerity. the aim of love, as understood by ellen key, is always marriage and the child, and as soon as the child comes into question society and the state are concerned. before fruition, love is a matter for the lovers alone, and the espionage, ceremony, and routine now permitted or enjoined are both ridiculous and offensive. "the flower of love belongs to the lovers, and should remain their secret; it is the fruit of love which brings them into relation to society." the dominating importance of the child, the parent of the race to be, alone makes the immense social importance of sexual union. it is not marriage which sanctifies generation, but generation which sanctifies marriage. from the point of view of "the sanctity of generation" and the welfare of the race, ellen key looks forward to a time when it will be impossible for a man and woman to become parents when they are unlikely to produce a healthy child, though she is opposed to neo-malthusian methods, partly on æsthetic grounds and partly on the more dubious grounds of doubt as to their practical efficiency; it is from this point of view also that she favours sexual equality in matters of divorce, the legal assimilation of legitimate and illegitimate children, the recognition of unions outside marriage,--a recognition already legally established under certain circumstances in sweden, in such a way as to confer the rights of legitimacy on the child,--and she is even prepared to advise women under some conditions to become mothers outside marriage, though only when there are obstacles to legal marriage, and as the outcome of deliberate will and resolution. in these and many similar proposals in detail, set forth in her earlier books, it is clear that ellen key has sometimes gone beyond the mandate of her central conviction, that love is the first condition for increasing the vitality alike of the race and of the individuality, and that the question of love, properly considered, is the question of creating the future man. as she herself has elsewhere quite truly pointed out, practice must precede, and precede by a very long time, the establishment of definite rules in matters of detail. it will be noticed that a point with which ellen key and the leaders of the new german woman's movement specially concern themselves is the affectional needs of the "supernumerary" woman and the legitimation of her children. there is an excess of women over men, in germany as in most other countries. that excess, it is said, is balanced by the large number of women who do not wish to marry. but that is too cheap a solution of the question. many women may wish to remain unmarried, but no woman wishes to be forced to remain unmarried. every woman, these advocates of the rights of women claim, has a right to motherhood, and in exercising the right under sound conditions she is benefiting society. but our marriage system, in the rigid form which it has long since assumed, has not now the elasticity necessary to answer these demands. it presents a solution which is often impossible, always difficult, and perhaps in a large proportion of cases undesirable. but for a woman who is shut out from marriage to grasp at the vital facts of love and motherhood which she perhaps regards, unreasonably or not, as the supreme things in the world, must often be under such conditions a disastrous step, while it is always accompanied by certain risks. therefore, it is asked, why should there not be, as of old there was, a relationship established which while of less dignity than marriage, and less exclusive in its demands, should yet permit a woman to enter into an honourable, open, and legally recognized relationship with a man? such a relationship a woman could proclaim to the whole world, if necessary, without reflecting any disesteem upon herself or her child, while it would give her a legal claim on her child's father. such a relationship would be substantially the same as the ancient concubinate, which persisted even in christendom up to the sixteenth century. its establishment in sweden has apparently been satisfactory, and it is now sought to extend it to other countries.[ ] it is interesting to compare, or to contrast, the movement of which ellen key has been a conspicuous champion with the futile movement initiated nearly a century ago by the school of saint-simon and prosper enfantin, in favour of "la femme libre."[ ] that earlier movement had no doubt its bright and ideal side, but it was not supported by a sound and scientific view of life; it was rooted in sand and soon withered up. the kind of freedom which ellen key advocates is not a freedom to dispense with law and order, but rather a freedom to recognize and follow true law; it is the freedom which in morals as well as in politics is essential for the development of real responsibility. people talk, ellen key remarks, as though reform in sexual morality meant the breaking up of a beautiful idyll, while the idyll is impossible as long as the only alternative offered to so many young men and women at the threshold of life is between becoming "the slave of duty or the slave of lust." in these matters we already possess licence, and the only sound reform lies in a kind of "freedom" which will correct that licence by obedience to the most fundamental natural instincts acting in harmony with the claims of the race, which claims, it must be added, cannot be out of harmony with the best traditions of the race. ellen key would agree with a great german, wilhelm von humboldt, who wrote more than a century ago that "a solicitude for the race conducts to the same results as the highest solicitude for the most beautiful development of the inner man." the modern revolt against fossilized laws is inevitable; it is already in progress, and we have to see to it that the laws written upon tables of stone in their inevitable decay only give place to the mightier laws written upon tables of flesh and blood. life is far too rich and manifold, ellen key says again, to be confined in a single formula, even the best; if our ideal has its worth for ourselves, if we are prepared to live for it and to die for it, that is enough; we are not entitled to impose it on others. the conception of duty still remains, duty to love and duty to the race. "i believe in a new ethics," ellen key declares at the end of _the women's movement_, "which will be a synthesis growing out of the nature of man and the nature of woman, out of the demands of the individual and the demands of society, out of the pagan and the christian points of view, out of the resolve to mould the future and out of piety towards the past." no reader of ellen key's books can fail to be impressed by the remarkable harmony between her sexual ethics and the conception that underlies sir francis galton's scientific eugenics. in setting forth the latest aspects of his view of eugenics before the sociological society, galton asserted that the improvement of the race, in harmony with scientific knowledge, would come about by a new religious movement, and he gave reasons to show why such an expectation is not unreasonable; in the past men have obeyed the most difficult marriage rules in response to what they believed to be supernatural commands, and there is no ground for supposing that the real demands of the welfare of the race, founded on exact knowledge, will prove less effective in calling out an inspiring religious emotion. writing probably at the same time, ellen key, in her essay entitled _love and ethics_, set forth precisely the same conception, though not from the scientific but from the emotional standpoint. from the outset she places the sexual question on a basis which brings it into line with galton's eugenics. the problem used to be concerned, she remarks, with the insistence of society on a rigid marriage form, in conflict with the demand of the individual to gratify his desires in any manner that seemed good to him, while now it becomes a question of harmonizing the claims of the improvement of the race with the claims of the individual to happiness in love. she points out that on this aspect real harmony becomes more possible. regard for the ennoblement of the race serves as a bridge from a chaos of conflicting tendencies to a truer conception of love, and "love must become on a higher plane what it was in primitive days--a religion." she compares the growth of the conception of the vital value of love to the modern growth of the conception of the value of health as against the medieval indifference to hygiene. it is inevitable that ellen key, approaching the question from the emotional side, should lay less stress than galton on the importance of scientific investigation in heredity, and insist mainly on the value of sound instincts, unfettered by false and artificial constraints, and taught to realize that the physical and the psychic aspects of life are alike "divine." it would obviously be premature to express either approval or disapproval of the conceptions of sexual morality which ellen key has developed with such fervour and insight. it scarcely seems probable that the methods of sexual union, put forward as an alternative to celibacy by some of the adherents of the new movement, are likely to become widely popular, even if legalized in an increasing number of countries. i have elsewhere given reasons to believe that the path of progress lies mainly in the direction of a reform of the present institution of marriage.[ ] the need of such reform is pressing, and there are many signs that it is being recognized. we can scarcely doubt that the advocates of these alternative methods of sexual union will do good by stimulating the champions of marriage to increased activity in the reform of that institution. in such matters a certain amount of competition sometimes has a remarkably vivifying effect. we may be sure that women, whose interests are so much at stake in this matter, and who tend to look at it in a practical rather than in a legal and theological spirit, will exert a powerful influence when they have acquired the ability to enforce that influence by the vote. this is significantly indicated by an inquiry held in england during by the women's co-operative guild. a number of women who had held official positions in the guild were asked (among other questions) whether or not they were in favour of divorce by mutual consent. of representative women conversant with affairs who were thus consulted, as many as deliberately recorded their opinion in favour of divorce by mutual consent, and only were against that highly important marriage reform. it is probably unnecessary to discuss the opinions of other leaders in this movement, though there are several, such as frau grete meisel-hess, whose views deserve study. it will be sufficiently clear in what way this teutonic movement differs from that anglo-saxon woman's rights' movement with which we have long been familiar. these german women fully recognize that women are entitled to the same human rights as men, and that until such rights are attained "feminism" still has a proper task to achieve. but women must use their strength in the sphere for which their own nature fits them. even though millions of women are enabled to do the work which men could do better the gain for mankind is nil. to put women to do men's work is (ellen key has declared) as foolish as to set a beethoven or a wagner to do engine-driving. it has probably excited surprise in the minds of some who have been impressed by the magnitude and vitality of this movement that it should have manifested itself in germany rather than in england, which is the original home of movements for women's emancipation, or in america, where they have reached their fullest developments. this, however, ceases to be surprising when we realize the special qualities of the anglo-saxon and teutonic temperaments and the special conditions under which the two movements arose. the anglo-saxon movement was a special application to women of the general french movement for the logical assertion of abstract human rights. that special application was not ardently taken up in france itself, though first proclaimed by french pioneers,[ ] partly perhaps because such one-sided applications make little appeal to the french mind, and mainly, no doubt, because women throughout the eighteenth century enjoyed such high social consideration and exerted so much influence that they were not impelled to rise in any rebellious protest. but when the seed was brought over to england, especially in the representative form of mary wollstonecraft's _vindication of the rights of women_, it fell in virgin soil which proved highly favourable to its development. this special application escaped the general condemnation which the revolution had brought upon french ideas. women in england were beginning to awaken to ideas,--as women in germany are now,--and the more energetic and intelligent among them eagerly seized upon conceptions which furnished food for their activities. in large measure they have achieved their aims, and even woman's suffrage has been secured here and there, without producing any notable revolution in human affairs. the anglo-saxon conception of feminine progress--beneficial as it has undoubtedly been in many respects--makes little impression in germany, partly because it fails to appeal to the emotional teutonic temperament, and partly because the established type of german life and civilization offers very small scope for its development. when miss susan anthony, the veteran pioneer of woman's movements in the united states, was presented to the german empress she expressed a hope that the emperor would soon confer the suffrage on german women; it is recorded that the empress smiled, and probably most german women smiled with her. at the present time, however, there is an extraordinary amount of intellectual activity in germany, a widespread and massive activity. for the first time, moreover, it has reached women, who are taking it up with characteristic teutonic thoroughness. but they are not imitating the methods of their anglo-saxon sisters; they are going to work their own way. they are spending very little energy in waving the red flag before the fortresses of male monopoly. they are following an emotional influence which, strangely enough, it may seem to some, finds more support from the biological and medical side than the anglo-saxon movement has always been able to win. from the time of aristophanes downwards, whenever they have demonstrated before the masculine citadels, women have always been roughly bidden to go home. and now, here in germany, where of all countries that advice has been most freely and persistently given, women are adopting new tactics: they have gone home. "yes, it is true," they say in effect, "the home is our sphere. love and marriage, the bearing and the training of children--that is our world. and we intend to lay down the laws of our world." footnotes: [ ] in condorcet declared (_lettres d'un bourgeois de new haven_, lettre ii) that women ought to have absolutely the same rights as men, and he repeated the same statement emphatically in , in an article "sur l'admission des femmes au droit de cité," published in the _journal de la société de _. it must be added that condorcet was not a democrat, and neither to men nor to women would he grant the vote unless they were proprietors. [ ] léopold lacour has given a full and reliable account of olympe de gouges (who was born at montauban in ) in his _trois femmes de la révolution_, . [ ] it is noteworthy that the empire had even a depressing effect on the physical activities of women. the eighteenth-century woman in france, although she was not athletic in the modern sense, enjoyed a free life in the open air and was fond of physical exercises. during the directoire this tendency became very pronounced; women wore the scantiest of garments, were out of doors in all weathers, cultivated healthy appetites, and enjoyed the best of health. but with the establishment of the empire these wholesome fashions were discarded, and women cultivated new ideals of fragile refinement indoors. (this evolution has been traced by dr. lucien nars, _l'hygiène_, september, .) [ ] concerning the rise and progress of this movement in england much information is sympathetically and vivaciously set forth in w. lyon blease's _emancipation of english women_ ( ), a book, however, which makes no claim to be judicial or impartial; the author regards "unregulated male egoism" as the source of the difficulties in the way of women's suffrage. [ ] thus, in the national league for opposing women's suffrage took an impartial poll of the women voters on the municipal register in several large constituencies, by sending a reply-paid postcard to ask whether or not they favoured the extension to women of the parliamentary franchise. only were in favour of it; , were against; , did not take the trouble to answer, and it was claimed, probably with reason, that a majority of these were not in favour of the vote. [ ] it must not be too hastily assumed. unless we go back to ancient plots of the guy fawkes type (now only imitated by self-styled anarchists), the leaders of movements of political reform have rarely, if ever, organized outbursts of violence; such violence, when it occurred, has been the spontaneous and unpremeditated act of a mob. [ ] _revue de l'ecole d'anthropologie_, february, , p. . [ ] o. schrader, _reallexicon_, art. "keuschheit." he considers that tacitus merely shows that german women were usually chaste after marriage. a few centuries later, lea points out, salvianus, while praising the barbarians generally for their chastity, makes an exception in the case of the alemanni. (see also havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," pp. - .) [ ] thus kaan, anticipating krafft-ebing, published a _psychopathia sexualis_, in , and casper, in , was the first medical authority to point out that sexual inversion is sometimes due to a congenital psychic condition. [ ] both forel's and bloch's books have become well known through translations in england and america. dr. bloch is also the author of an extremely erudite and thorough history of syphilis, which has gone far to demonstrate that this disease was introduced into europe from america on the first discovery of the new world at the end of the fifteenth century. [ ] this attitude is plainly reflected even in many books written by men; i may mention, for instance, frenssen's well-known novel _hilligenlei_ (_holyland_). [ ] in most countries illegitimacy is decreasing; in germany it is steadily increasing, alike in rural and urban districts. illegitimate births are, however, more numerous in the cities than in the country. of the constituent states of the german empire, the illegitimate birth-rate is lowest in prussia, highest in saxony and bavaria. in munich per cent of the births are illegitimate. (the facts are clearly brought out in an article by dr. arthur grünspan in the _berliner tagblatt_ for january , , reproduced in _die neue generation_, july, .) thus, in prussia, while the total births between and , notwithstanding a great increase in the population, have only increased . per cent, the illegitimate births have increased as much as . per cent. the increase is marked in nearly all the german states. it is specially marked in saxony; here the proportion of illegitimate births to the total number of births was, in , . per cent, and in it had already risen to . per cent. in berlin it is most marked; here it began in , when there were nearly , legitimate births; by , however, the legitimate births had fallen to , , a decrease of . per cent. but illegitimate births rose during the same period from nearly to over , an increase of per cent. the proportion of illegitimate births to the total births is now over per cent, so that to every four legitimate children there is rather more than one illegitimate child. it may be said that this is merely due to an increasing proportion of unmarried women. that, however, is not the case. the marriage-rate is on the whole rising, and the average age of women at marriage is becoming lower rather than higher. grünspan considers that this increase in illegitimacy is likely to continue, and he is inclined to attribute it less to economic than to social-psychological causes. [ ] i have discussed this point in _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chap. xii. [ ] it is remarkable that in early times in spain the laws recognized concubinage (_barragania_) as almost equal to marriage, and as conferring equal rights on the child, even on the sons of the clergy, who could thus inherit from their fathers by right of the privileges accorded to the concubine or _barragana_. _barragania_, however, was not real marriage, and in many regions it could be contracted by married men (r. altamira, _historia de españa y de la civilazacion española_, vol. i, pp. et seq.). [ ] "la femme libre," in quest of whom the young saint-simonians preached a crusade, must be a woman of reflection and intellect who, having meditated on the fate of her "sisters," knowing the wants of women, and having sounded those feminine capacities which man has never completely penetrated, shall give forth the confession of her sex, without restriction or reserve, in such a manner as to furnish the indispensable elements for formulating the rights and duties of woman. saint simon had asked madame de staël to undertake this rôle, but she failed to respond. when george sand published her first novels, one guéroult was commissioned to ascertain if the author of _lélia_ would undertake this important service. he found a badly dressed woman who was using her talents to gain a living, but was by no means anxious to become the high priestess of a new religion. even after his disappointment enfantin looked eagerly forward to the publication of george sand's _histoire de ma vie_, hoping that at last the great revelation was coming, and he was again disillusioned. but before this emile barrault had arisen and declared that in the east, in the solitude of the harem, "la femme libre" would be found in the person of some odalisque. the "mission of the mother" was formed, and with barrault at the head it set out for constantinople. all were dressed in white as an indication of the vow of chastity they had taken before leaving paris, and on the road they begged in the name of the mother. they arrived at constantinople and preached the faith of saint-simon to the turks in french. but "la femme libre" seemed as far off as ever, and they resolved to go to rotourma in oceana, there to establish the religion of saint-simon and a perfect government which might serve as a model to the states of europe. first, however, they felt it a duty to make certain that the mother was not hiding somewhere in russia, and they went therefore to odessa, but the governor, who was wanting in sympathy, speedily turned them out, and having realized that rotourma was some distance off, the mission broke up, most of the members going to egypt to rejoin enfantin, whom the arabs, struck by his beauty, had called _abu-l-dhunieh_, the father of the world. (this account of the movement is based on that given by maxime du camp, in his _souvenirs littéraires_) [ ] _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chap. x. [ ] it is worth noting that a frenchwoman has been called "the mother of modern feminism." marie de gournay, who died in at the age of eighty, is best known as the adopted daughter of montaigne, for whom she cherished an enthusiastic reverence, becoming the first editor of his essays. her short essay, _egalité des hommes et des femmes_, was written in . see e.g. m. schiff, _la fille d'alliance de montaigne_. iv the emancipation of women in relation to romantic love the absence of romantic love in classic civilization--marriage as a duty--the rise of romantic love in the roman empire--the influence of christianity--the attitude of chivalry--the troubadours--the courts of love--the influence of the renaissance--conventional chivalry and modern civilization--the woman movement--the modern woman's equality of rights and responsibilities excludes chivalry--new forms of romantic love still remain possible--love as the inspiration of social hygiene. what will be the ultimate effect of the woman's movement, now slowly but surely taking place among us, upon romantic love? that is really a serious question, and it is much more complex than many of those who are prepared to answer it off-hand may be willing to admit. it must be remembered that romantic love has not been a constant accompaniment of human relationships, even in civilization. it is true that various peoples very low down in the scale possess romantic love-songs, often, it appears, written by the women. but the classic civilizations of greece and rome in their most robust and brilliant periods knew little or nothing of romantic love in connection with normal sexual relationships culminating in marriage. classic antiquity reveals a high degree of conjugal devotion, and of domestic affection, at all events in rome, but the right of the woman to follow the inspirations of her own heart, and the idealization and worship of the woman by the man, were not only scarcely known but, so far as they were known, reprehended or condemned. ovid, in the opinion of some, represents a new movement in rome. we are apt to regard ovid as, in erotic matters, the representative of a set of immoral roman voluptuaries. that view probably requires considerable modification. ovid was not indeed a champion of morality, but there is no good reason to suppose that, before he appeared, the rather stern roman mind had yet conceived those refinements and courtesies which he set forth in such charming detail. if we take a wide survey of his work, we may perhaps regard ovid as the pioneer of a chivalrous attitude towards women and of a romantic conception of love not only new in rome but of significance for europe generally. ovid was a powerful factor in the renaissance movement, and not least in england, where his influence on shakespeare and some others of the elizabethans cannot easily be overrated.[ ] for the ordinary classic mind, greek or roman, marriage was intended for the end of building up the family, and the family was consecrated to the state. the fulfilment of so exalted a function involved a certain austere dignity which excluded wayward inclination or passionate emotion. these might indeed occur between a man and a woman outside marriage, but putting aside the very limited phenomena of athenian hetairism, they were too shameful to be idealized. some trace of this classic attitude may be said to persist even to-day among the so-called latin nations, notably in the french tradition (now dying out) of treating marriage as a relationship to be arranged, not by the two parties themselves, but by their parents and guardians; montaigne, attached as he was to maxims of roman antiquity, was not very alien from the ordinary french attitude of his time when he declared that, since we do not marry so much for our own sakes as for the sake of posterity and the race, marriage is too sacred a process to be mixed with amorous extravagance.[ ] there is something to be said for that point of view which is nowadays too often forgotten, but it certainly fails to cover the whole of the ground. it is not only in the west that a contemptuous attitude towards the romantic and erotic side of life has prevailed at some of the most vigorous moments of civilization. it is also found in the east. in japan, for instance, even at the present day, romantic love, as a reputable element of ordinary life, is unknown or disapproved; its existence is not recognized in the schools, and the european novels that celebrate it are scarcely understood.[ ] the development of modern romantic love in connection with marriage seems to be found in the late greek world under the roman empire.[ ] that is commonly called a period of decadence. in a certain limited sense it was. greece had become subjugated to rome. rome herself had lost her military spirit and was losing her political power. but the fighting instinct, and even the ruling spirit, are not synonymous with civilization. the "decline and fall" of empires by no means necessarily involves the decay of civilization. it is now generally realized that the later roman empire was not, as was once thought, an age of social and moral degeneration.[ ] the state indeed was dissolving, but the individual was evolving. the age which produced a plutarch--for fifteen hundred years one of the great inspiring forces of the world--was the reverse of a corrupt age. the life of the home and the life of the soul were alike developing. the home was becoming more complex, more intimate, more elevated. the soul was being turned in on itself to discover new and joyous secrets: the secret of the love of nature, the secret of mystic religion, and, not least, the secret of romantic love. when christianity finally conquered the roman world its task very largely lay in taking over and developing those three secrets already discovered by paganism. it was inevitable, however, that in developing these new forms of the emotional life, the ascetic bent of christianity should make itself felt. it was not possible for christianity to cast its halo around the natural sexual life, but it was possible to refine and exalt that life, to lift it into a spiritual sphere. neither woman the sweetheart nor woman the mother were in ordinary life glorified by the church; they were only tolerated. but on a higher than natural plane they were surrounded by a halo and raised to the highest pedestal of reverence and even worship. the virgin was exalted, bride and bridegroom became terms of mystical import, and the holy mother received the adoring love of all christendom. even in the actual relations of men and women, quite early in the history of christianity, we sometimes find men and women cultivating relationships which excluded that earthly union the church looked down on, but yet involved the most tender and intimate physical affection. many charming stories of such relationships are found in the lives of the saints, and sometimes they existed even within the marriage bond.[ ] christianity led to the use of ideas and terms borrowed from earthly love in a different and symbolic sense. but the undesigned result was that a new force and beauty were added to those ideas and terms, however applied, and also that many emotions were thus cultivated which became capable of re-inforcing earthly human love. in this way it happened that, though christianity rejected the ideal of romantic love in its natural associations, it indirectly prepared the way for a loftier and deeper realization of that love. there can be no doubt that the emotional training and refining of the fleshly instincts by christianity was the chief cause of the rise of that conception of romantic love which we associate with the institution of chivalry. exalted and sanctified by contact with the central dogmas of religion, the emotion of love was brought down from this spiritual atmosphere by the knightly lover, with something of its ethereal halo still clinging to it, and directed towards an earthly mistress. the most extravagant phase of romantic love which has ever been seen was then brought about, and in many cases, certainly, it was a real erotomania which passed beyond the bounds of sanity.[ ] in its extreme forms, however, this romantic love was a rare, localized, and short-lived manifestation. the dominant attitude of the chivalrous age towards women, as léon gautier has shown in his monumental work on chivalry, was one of indifference, or even contempt. the knight's thoughts were more of war than of women, and he cherished his horse more than his mistress.[ ] but women, above all in france, reacted against this attitude, and with splendid success. their husbands treated them with indifference or left them at home while they sought adventure in the world. the neglected wives proceeded to lay down the laws of society, and took upon themselves the part of rulers in the domain of morals. in the eleventh, the twelfth, the thirteenth centuries, says méray in a charming book on life in the days of the courts of love, we find women "with infinite skill and an adorable refinement seizing the moral direction of french society." they did so, he remarks, in a spirit so utopian, so ideally poetic, that historians have hesitated to take them seriously. the laws of the courts of love[ ] may sometimes seem to us immoral and licentious, but in reality they served to restrain the worst immoralities and licences of the time. they banished violence, they allowed no venality, and they inculcated moderation in passion. the task of the courts of love was facilitated by the relative degree of peace which then reigned, especially by the fact that the normans, holding both coasts of the channel, formed a link between france and england. when the murderous activities of french kings and english kings destroyed that link, the courts of love were swept away in the general disorder and the progress of civilization indefinitely retarded.[ ] yet in some degree the ideals which had been thus embodied still persisted. as the goncourts pointed out in their invaluable book, _la femme au dix-huitième siècle_ (chap. v), from the days of chivalry even on into the eighteenth century, when on the surface at all events it apparently disappeared, an exalted ideal of love continued to be cherished in france. this conception remained associated, throughout, with the great social influence and authority which had been enjoyed by women in france even from medieval times. that influence had become pronounced during the seventeenth century, and at that time sir thomas smith in his _commonwealth of england_, writing of the high position of women in england, remarked that they possessed "almost as much liberty as in france." there were at least two forms of medieval romantic love. the first arose in provence and northern italy during the twelfth century, and spread to germany as _minnedienst_. in this form the young knights directed their respectful and adoring devotion to a high-born married woman who chose one of them as her own cavalier, to do her service and reverence, the two vowing devotion to each other until death. it was a part of this amorous code that there could not be love between husband and wife, and it was counted a mark of low breeding for a husband to challenge his wife's right to her young knight's services, though sometimes we are told the husband risked this reproach, occasionally with tragic results. this mode of love, after being eloquently sung and practised by the troubadours--usually, it appears, younger sons of noble houses--died out in the place of its origin, but it had been introduced into spain, and the spaniards reintroduced it into italy when they acquired the kingdom of naples; in italy it was conventionalized into the firmly rooted institution of the _cavaliere servente_. from the standpoint of a strict morality, the institution was obviously open to question. but we can scarcely fail to see that at its origin it possessed, even if unconsciously, a quasi-religious warrant in the worship of the holy mother, and we have to recognize that, notwithstanding its questionable shape, it was really an effort to attain a purer and more ideal relationship than was possible in a rough and warlike age which placed the wife in subordination to her husband. a tender devotion that inspired poetry, an unalloyed respect that approached reverence, vows that were based on equal freedom and independence on both sides--these were possibilities which the men and women of that age felt to be incompatible with marriage as they knew it. the second form of medieval romantic love was more ethereal than the first, and much more definitely and consciously based on a religious attitude. it was really the worship of the virgin transferred to a young earthly maiden, yet retaining the purity and ideality of religious worship. to so high a degree is this the case that it is sometimes difficult to be sure whether we are concerned with a real maiden of flesh and blood or only a poetic symbol of womanhood. this doubt has been raised, notably by bartoli, concerning dante's beatrice, the supreme type of this ethereal love, which arose in the thirteenth century, and was chiefly cultivated in florence. the poets of this movement were themselves aware of the religious character of their devotion to the _donna angelicata_ to whom they even apply, as they would to the queen of heaven, the appellation stella maris. that there was an element of flesh and blood in these figures is believed by remy de gourmont, but when we gaze at them, he remarks, we see at first, "in place of a body only two eyes with angel's wings behind them, on the background of an azure sky sown with golden stars"; the lover is on his knees and his love has become a prayer.[ ] this phase of romantic love was brief, and perhaps mostly the possession of the poets, but it represented a really important moment in the evolution of modern romantic love. it was a step towards the realization of the genuinely human charm of young womanhood in real human relationships, of which we already have a foretaste in the delicious early french story of aucassin and nicolette. the re-discovery of classic literature, the movements of humanism and the renaissance, swept away what was left of the almost religious idealization of the young virgin. the ethereal maiden, thin, pale, anæmic, disappeared alike from literature and from art, and was no longer an ideal in actual life. she gave place to a new woman, conscious of her own fully developed womanhood and all its needs, radiantly beautiful and finely shaped in every limb. she lacked the spirituality of her predecessors, but she had gained in intellect. she appears first in the pages of boccaccio. after a long interval titian immortalized her rich and mature beauty; she is flora, she is ariadne, she is alike the earthly love and the heavenly love. every curve of her body was adoringly and minutely described by niphus and firenzuola.[ ] she was, moreover, the courtesan whose imperial charm and adroitness enabled her to trample under foot the medieval conception of lust as sin, even in the courts of popes. at the great academic centre of bologna, finally, she chastely taught learning and science.[ ] the people of the italian renaissance placed women on the same level as men, and to call a woman a _virago_ implied unalloyed praise.[ ] the very mixed conditions of what we have been accustomed to consider the modern world then began for women. they were no longer cloistered--whether in convents or the home--but neither were they any longer worshipped. they began to be treated as human beings, and when men idealized them in figures of romantic charm or pathos--figures like shakespeare's rosalind or marivaux's sylvia or richardson's clarissa--this humanity was henceforth the common ground out of which the vision arose. but, one notes, in nearly all the great poets and novelists up to the middle of the last century, it was usually in the weakness of humanity that the artist sought the charm and pathos of his feminine figures. from shakespeare's ophelia to thackeray's amelia this is the rule, more emphatically expressed in the literature of england than of any other country. there had been no actual emancipation of women; though now they had entered the world of men, they were not yet, socially and legally, of that world. even the medieval traditions still lived on in subtly conventionalized forms. the "chivalrous" attitude towards women was, as the word itself suggests, a medieval survival. it belonged to a period of barbarism when brutal force ruled and when the man who magnanimously placed his force at the disposition of a woman was really doing her a service and granting her a privilege. but civilization means the building up of an orderly society in which individual rights are respected, and force no longer dominates. so that as civilization advances the occasions on which women require the aid of masculine force become ever fewer and more unimportant. the conventionalized chivalry of men then tends to become an offer of services which it would be better for women to do for themselves and a bestowal of privileges to which they are nowise entitled.[ ] moreover, this same chivalry is, under these conditions, apt to take on a character which is the reverse of its face value. it becomes the assertion of a power over women instead of a power on their behalf; and it carries with it a tinge of contempt in place of respect. theoretically, a thousand chivalrous swords should leap from their scabbards to succour the distressed woman. in practice this may only mean that the thousand owners of these metaphorical weapons are on the alert to take advantage of the distressed woman. thus the romantic emotions based on medieval ideals gradually lost their worth. they were not in relation to the altered facts of life; they had become an empty convention which could be turned to very unromantic uses. the movement for the emancipation of women was not consciously or directly a movement of revolt against an antiquated chivalry. it was rather a part of the development of civilization which rendered chivalry antique. medieval romantic love implied in women a weakness in the soil of which only a spiritual force could flourish. the betterment of social conditions, the subordination of violence to order, the growing respect for individual rights, took away the reasons for consecrating weakness in women, and created an ever larger field in which women could freely seek to rival men, because it is a field in which knowledge and skill are of far more importance than muscular strength. the emancipation of women has simply been the later and more conscious phase of the process by which women have entered into this field and sought their share of its rights and its responsibilities. the woman movement of modern times, properly understood, has thus been the effort of women to adapt themselves to the conditions of an orderly and peaceful civilization. education, under the changed conditions, can effect what before needed force of arms; responsibility is now demanded where before only tutelage was possible. a civilized society in which women are ignorant and irresponsible is an anachronism, and, however great the wrench with the past might be, it was necessary that women should be adjusted to the changing times. the ideal of the weak, ignorant, inexperienced woman--the cross between an angel and an idiot, as i have elsewhere described her[ ]--no longer fulfilled any useful purpose. civilized society furnishes the conditions under which all adult persons are socially equal and all are free to give to society the best they are capable of. it was inevitable, but unfortunate, that this movement should have sometimes tended to take the form of an attempt on the part of women to secure, not merely equality with men, but actual imitation of men. these women said that since men had attained mastery in life, captured all the best things, and adopted the most successful methods of living, it was necessary for women to copy them at every point. that was a specious plea which even had in it a certain element of truth. but the fact remained that women and men are different, that the difference is based in fundamental natural functions, and that to place one sex in exactly the same position as the other sex is to deform its outlines and to hamper its activities. from the present point of view we are only concerned with the influence of the woman's movement on love. on the traditional conception of romantic love inherited from medieval days there can be no doubt that this influence has been highly dissolvent. medieval romantic love, in its original form, had been part of a conception of womanhood made up of opposites, and all the opposites balanced each other. the medieval man laid his homage at the feet of the great lady in the castle hall, but he himself lorded it over the wife who drudged in his own home. on his knees he gazed up in devotion at the ethereal virgin, but when she ceased to be a virgin, he asserted himself by cursing her as a demon sent from hell to seduce and torment him. all this was possible because the woman was outside the orbit of the man's life, never on the same plane, necessarily higher or lower. it became difficult if woman was man's equal, absurdly impossible if she was of identical nature with him. the medieval romantic tradition has come down to us so laden with beauty and mystery that we are apt to think, as we see it melt away, that human achievements are being permanently depreciated. that illusion occurs in every age of transition. it was notably so in the eighteenth century, which represented a highly important stage in the emancipation of women. to some that century seems to have been given up to empty gallantry and facile pleasure. yet it was not only the age in which women for the first time succeeded in openly attaining their supreme social influence,[ ] it was an age of romantic love, and the noble or poignant love-stories which have reached us from the records of that period surpass those of any other age. if we believe with goethe that the religion of the future consists in a triple reverence--the reverence for what is above us, the reverence for what is below us, and the reverence for our equals[ ]--we need not grieve overmuch if one form of this reverence, the first, and that which goethe regarded as the earliest and crudest, has lost its exclusive claim. reverence is essential to all romantic love. to bring down the madonna and the virgin from their pedestals to share with men the common responsibilities and duties of life is not to divest them of the claim to reverence. it is merely the sign of a change in the form of that reverence, a change which heralds a new romantic love. it would be premature to attempt to define the exact outline of the new forms of romantic love, or the precise lineaments of the beings who will most ardently evoke that love. in literature, indeed, the ideals of life cast their shadow before, and we may surely trace a change in the erotic ideals mirrored in literature. the woman whom dickens idealized in _david copperfield_ is unlike indeed to the series of women of a new type introduced by george meredith, and the modern heroine generally exhibits more of the robust, open-eyed and spontaneous qualities of that later type than the blind and clinging nature of the amiable simpletons of the older type. that the changed conditions of civilization should produce new types of womanhood and of love is not surprising, if we realize that, even within the ancient chivalrous forms it was possible to produce similar robust types when the qualities of a race were favourable to them. spain furnishes a notable illustration. spanish literature from cervantes and tirso to valera and blasco ibañez reflects a type of woman who stands on the same ground as man and is his equal and often his superior on that ground, alike in vigour of body and of spirit, acquiring all that she cares to of virility, while losing nothing feminine that is of worth.[ ] in more than one respect the ideal woman of spain is the ideal woman our civilization now renders necessary. the women of the future, grete meisel-hess declares in her femininely clever and frank discussion of present-day conditions, _die sexuelle krise_, will be full, strong, elementary natures, devoid alike of the impulse to destroy or the aptitude to be destroyed. she considers, moreover, that so far from romantic love being a thing of the past, "love as a form of worship is reserved for the future."[ ] in the past it has only been found among a few rare souls; in the future world, fostered by the finer selection of a conscious eugenics, and a new reverence and care for motherhood, we may reasonably hope for a truly efficient humanity, the bearers and conservers of the highest human emotions. it is in this sense, indeed, that the voices of the greatest and most typical leaders of the woman's movement of emancipation to-day are heard. ellen key, in her _love and marriage_, seeks to conciliate the cultivation of a free and sacred sexual relationship with the worship of the child, as the embodiment of the future race, while olive schreiner proclaims in her _woman and labour_ that the woman of the future will walk side by side with man in a higher and deeper relationship than has ever been possible before because it will involve a new community in activity and insight. nor is it alone from the feminine side that these forecasts are made. certainly for the most part love has been cultivated more by women than by men. primacy in the genius of intellect belongs incontestably to men, but in the genius of love it has doubtless oftener been achieved by women. they have usually understood better than men that in this matter, as goethe insisted, it is the lover and not the beloved who reaps the chief fruits of love. "it is better to love, even violently," wrote the forsaken portuguese nun, in her immortal _letters_, "than merely to be loved." he who loses his life here saves it, for it is only in so far as he becomes a crucified god that love wins the sacrifice of human hearts. of late years, by an inevitable reaction, women have sometimes forgotten this eternal verity. the women of the twentieth century in their anxiety for self-possession and their rightful eagerness to gain positions they feel they have been too long excluded from, have perhaps yet failed to realize that the women of the eighteenth century, who exerted a sway over life that the women of no age before or since have possessed, were, above all women, great and heroic lovers, and that those two fundamental facts cannot be cut asunder. but this failure, temporary as it is doubtless destined to be, will work for good if it is the point of departure for a revival among men of the art of love. men indeed have here fallen behind women. the old saying, so tediously often quoted, concerning love as a "thing apart" in the lives of men would scarcely have occurred to a medieval poet of provence or florence. it is not enough for women to proclaim a new avatar of love if men are not ready and eager to learn its art and to practise its discipline. in a profoundly suggestive fragment on love, left incomplete at his death by the distinguished sociologist tarde,[ ] he suggests that when masculine energy dies down in the fields of political ambition and commercial gain, as it already has in the field of warfare, the energy liberated by greater social organization and cohesion may find scope once more in love. for too long a period love, like war and politics and commerce, has been chiefly monopolized by the predatory type of man, in this field symbolized by the figure of don juan. in the future, tarde suggests, the don juan type of lover may fall into disrepute, giving place to the virgilian type, for whom love is not a thing apart but a form of life embodying its best and highest activities. when we come upon utterances of this kind we are tempted to think that they represent merely the poetic dreams of individuals, standing too far ahead of their fellows to possess any significance for men and women in general. but it is probable that ovid, and certain that dante, set forth erotic conceptions that were unintelligible to most of their contemporaries, yet they have been immensely influential over the ideas and emotions of men in later ages. the poets and prophets of one generation are engaged in moulding ideals which will be realized in the lives of a subsequent generation; in expressing their own most intimate emotions, as it has been truly said, they become the leaders in a long file of men and women. whatever may yet be uncertain and undefined, we may assuredly believe that the emotion of love is far too deeply rooted in the depth of man's organism and woman's organism ever to be torn out or ever to be thrust into a subordinate place. and we may also believe that there is no measurable limit to its power of putting forth ever new and miraculous flowers. it is recorded that once, in james hinton's presence, the conversation turned on music, and it was suggested that, owing to the limited number of musical combinations and the unlimited number of musical compositions, a time would come when all music would only be a repetition of exhausted harmonies. hinton remarked that then would come a man so inspired by a new spirit that his feeling would be, not that _all_ music has been written, but that no _music_ has yet been written. it was a memorable saying. in every field that is the perpetual proclamation of genius: behold! i create all things new. and in this field of love we can conceive of no age in which to the inspired seer it will not be possible to feel: there has yet been no _love_! footnotes: [ ] see especially sidney lee, "ovid and shakespeare's sonnets," _quarterly review_, april, . [ ] montaigne, _essais_, book iii, chap. v. [ ] see e.g. mrs. fraser, _world's work and play_, december, . [ ] a more modern feeling for love and marriage begins to emerge, however, at a much earlier period, with menander and the new comedy. e.f.m. benecke, in his interesting little book on _antimachus of colophon and the position of women in greek poetry_, believes that the romantic idea (that is to say, the idea that a woman is a worthy object for a man's love, and that such love may well be the chief, if not the only, aim of a man's life) had originally been propounded by antimachus at the end of the fifth century b.c. antimachus, said to have been the friend of plato, had been united to a woman of lydia (where women, we know, occupied a very high position) and her death inspired him to write a long poem, _lyde_, "the first love poem ever addressed by a greek to his wife after death." only a few lines of this poem survive. but antimachus seems to have greatly influenced philetas (whom croiset calls "the first of the alexandrians") and asclepiades of samos, tender and exquisite poets whom also we only know by a few fragments. benecke's arguments, therefore, however probable, cannot be satisfactorily substantiated. [ ] as i have elsewhere pointed out (_studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chap. ix), most modern authorities--friedländer, dill, donaldson, etc.--consider that there was no real moral decline in the later roman empire; we must not accept the pictures presented by satirists, pagan or christian, as of general application. [ ] i have discussed this phase of early christianity in the sixth volume of _studies in the psychology of sex_, "sex in relation to society," chap. v. [ ] ulrich von lichtenstein, in the thirteenth century, is the typical example of this chivalrous erotomania. his account of his own adventures has been questioned, but reinhold becker (_wahrheit und dichtung in ulrich von lichtenstein's frauendienst_, ) considers that, though much exaggerated, it is in substance true. [ ] léon gautier, _la chevalerie_, pp. - , - . [ ] the chief source of information on these courts is andré le chapelain's _de arte amatoria_. boccaccio made use of this work, though without mentioning the author's name, in his own _dialogo d' amore_. [ ] a. méray, _la vie au temps des cours d'amour_, . [ ] remy de gourmont, _dante, béatrice et la poésie amoureuse_, , p. . [ ] niphus (born about ), a physician and philosopher of the papal court, wrote in his _de pulchro_, sometimes considered the first modern treatise on æsthetics, a minute description of joan of aragon, whose portrait, traditionally ascribed to raphael, is in the louvre. the famous work of firenzuola (born ) entitled _dialogo delle bellezze delle donne_, was published in . it has been translated into english by clara bell under the title _on the beauty of women_. [ ] see, for example, edith coulson james, _bologna: its history, antiquities and art_, . [ ] see, for an interesting account of the position of women in the italian renaissance, burckhardt, _die kultur der renaissance_, part v, ch. vi. [ ] i may quote the following remarks from a communication i have received from a university man: "i am prepared to show women, and to expect from them, precisely the same amount of consideration as i show to or expect from other men, but i rather resent being expected to make a preferential difference. for example, in a crowded tram i see no more adequate reason for giving up my seat to a young and healthy girl than for expecting her to give up hers to me; i would do so cheerfully for an old person of either sex on the ground that i am probably better fit to stand the fatigue of 'strap-hanging,' and because i recognize that some respect is due to age; but if persons get into over-full vehicles they should not expect first-comers to turn out of their seats merely because they happen to be men." this writer acknowledges, indeed, that he is not very sensitive to the erotic attraction of women, but it is probable that the changing status of women will render the attitude he expresses more and more common among men. [ ] _ante_, p. . [ ] "women then were queens," as taine writes (_l'ancien régime_, vol. i, p. ), and he gives references to illustrate the point. [ ] goethe, _wilhelm meisters wanderjahre_, book ii, ch. i. [ ] havelock ellis, _the soul of spain_, chap. iii, "the women of spain." [ ] grete meisel-hess, _die sexuelle krise_, , pp. , . [ ] "la morale sexuelle," _archives d'anthropologie criminelle_, january, . v the significance of a falling birth-rate the fall of the birth-rate in europe generally--in england--in germany--in the united states--in canada--in australasia--"crude" birth-rate and "corrected" birth-rate--the connection between high birth-rate and high death-rate--"natural increase" measured by excess of births over deaths--the measure of national well-being--the example of russia--japan--china--the necessity of viewing the question from a wide standpoint--the prevalence of neo-malthusian methods--influence of the roman catholic church--other influences lowering the birth-rate--influence of postponement of marriage--relation of the birth-rate to commercial and industrial activity--illustrated by russia, hungary, and australia--the relation of prosperity to fertility--the social capillarity theory--divergence of the birth-rate and the marriage-rate--marriage-rate and the movement of prices--prosperity and civilization--fertility among savages--the lesser fertility of urban populations--effect of urbanization on physical development--why prosperity fails permanently to increase fertility--prosperity creates restraints on fertility--the process of civilization involves decreased fertility--in this respect it is a continuation of zoological evolution--large families as a stigma of degeneration--the decreased fertility of civilization a general historical fact--the ideals of civilization to-day--the east and the west. i one of the most interesting phenomena of the early part of the nineteenth century was the immense expansion of the people of the so-called "anglo-saxon" race.[ ] this expansion coincided with that development of industrial and commercial activity which made the english people, who had previously impressed foreigners as somewhat lazy and drunken, into "a nation of shopkeepers." it also coincided with the end of the supremacy of france in europe; france had succeeded to spain as the leading power in europe, and had on the whole maintained a supremacy which napoleon brought to a climax, and, in doing so, crushed. the growing prosperity of england represented an entirely new wave of influence, mainly economic in character, but not less forceful than that of spain and of france had been; and this prosperity was reflected in the growth of the nation. the greater part of the victorian period was marked by this expansion of population, which reached its highest point in the early years of the second half of that period. while the population of england was thus increasing with ever greater rapidity at home, at the same time the english-speaking peoples overspread the whole of north america, and colonized the fertile fringe of australia. it was, on a still larger scale, a phenomenon similar to that which had occurred three hundred years earlier, when spain covered the world and founded an empire upon which, as spaniards proudly boasted, the sun never set. when now, a century later, we survey the situation, not only has industrial and commercial activity ceased to be a special attribute of the anglo-saxons--since the germans have here shown themselves to possess qualities of the highest order, and other countries are rapidly rivalling them--but within the limits of the english-speaking world itself the english have found formidable rivals in the americans. underlying, however, even these great changes there is a still more fundamental fact to be considered, a fact which affects all branches of the race; and that is, that the anglo-saxons have passed their great epoch of expansion and that their birth-rate is rapidly falling to a normal level, that is to say, to the average level of the world in general. disregarding the extremely important point of the death-rate in its bearing on the birth-rate, england is seen to possess a medium birth-rate among european countries, not among the countries with a high birth-rate, like russia, roumania, or bulgaria, nor among those with a low birth-rate, like sweden, belgium, and france. it was in this last country that the movement of decline in the european birth-rate began, and though the rate of decline has in france now become very gradual the long period through which it has extended has placed france in the lowest place, so far as europe is concerned. in out of a total of over , , french families, in nearly , , there were no children, and in nearly , , there was only one child.[ ] the general decline in the european birth-rate, during the years - , was only slight in switzerland, ireland and spain, while it was large not only in france, but in italy, servia, england and wales, and especially in hungary (while, outside europe, it was largest of all in south australia). since there has been a further general decline throughout europe, only excepting ireland, bulgaria, and roumania. in prussia in - the birth-rate was . ; in it was only . ; while in the german empire as a whole it is throughout lower than in prussia, though somewhat higher than in england. in austria and spain alone of european countries during the twenty years between and was there any tendency for the fertility of wives to increase. in all other countries there was a decrease, greatest in belgium, next greatest in france, then in england.[ ] if we consider the question, not on the basis of the crude birth-rate, but of the "corrected" birth-rate, with more exact reference to the child-producing elements in the population, as is done by newsholme and stevenson,[ ] we find that the greatest decline has taken place in new south wales, then in victoria, belgium, and saxony, followed by new zealand. but france, the german empire generally, england, and denmark all show a considerable fall; while sweden and norway show a fall, which, especially in norway, is slight. norway illustrates the difference between the "crude" and the "corrected" birth-rate; the crude birth-rate is lower than that of saxony, but the corrected birth-rate is higher. ireland, again, has a very low crude birth-rate, but the population of child-bearing age has a high birth-rate, considerably higher than that of england. thus while forty years ago it was usual for both the english and the germans to contemplate, perhaps with some complacency, the spectacle of the falling birth-rate in france as compared with the high birth-rate in england and germany, we are now seen to be all marching along the same road. in the english birth-rate reached its maximum of . per thousand; while in france the birth-rate now appears almost to have reached its lowest level. germany, like england, now also has a falling birth-rate, though it will take some time to sink to the english level. the birth-rate for germany generally is still much higher than for england generally, but urbanization in germany seems to have a greater influence than in england in lowering the birth-rate, and for many years past the birth-rate of berlin has been lower than that of london. the birth-rate in germany has long been steadily falling, and the increase in the population of germany is due to a concomitant steady fall in the death-rate, a fall to which there are inevitable natural limits.[ ] moreover, as flux has shown,[ ] urbanization is going on at a greater speed in germany than in england, and practically the entire natural increase of the german population for a quarter of a century has drifted into the towns. but the death-rate of the young in german towns is far higher than in english towns, and the first five years of life in germany produce as much mortality as the first twenty-five years in england.[ ] so that a thousand children born in england add far more to the population than a thousand children born in germany. the average number of children per family in german towns is less than in english towns of the same size. these results, reached by flux, suggest that in a few years' time the rate of increase in the german population will be lower than it is at present in england. in england, since , the decline has been so rapid as to be equal to per cent within a generation, and in some of the large towns to per cent. against this there has, indeed, to be set the general tendency during recent years for the death-rate to fall also. but this saving of life has until lately been effected mainly at the higher ages; there has been but little saving of the lives of infants, upon whom the death-rate falls most heavily. accompanying this falling off in the number of children produced there has often been, as we might expect, a fall in the marriage-rate; but this has been less regular, and of late the marriage-rate has sometimes been high when the birth-rate was low.[ ] there has, however, been a steady postponement of the average age at which marriage takes place. on the whole, the main fact that emerges is, that nowadays in england we marry less and have fewer children. this is now a familiar fact, and perhaps it should not excite very great surprise. england is an old and fairly stable country, and it may be said that it would be unreasonable to expect its population to retain indefinitely a high degree of fertility. whether this is so or not, there is the further consideration to be borne in mind that, during nearly the whole of the victorian period, emigration of the most vigorous stocks took place to a very marked extent. it is not difficult to see the influence of such emigration in connection with the greatly diminished population of ireland, as compared with scotland; and we may reasonably infer that it has had its part in the decreased fertility of the united kingdom generally. but we encounter the remarkable fact that this decreased fertility of the anglo-saxon populations is not confined to the united kingdom. it is even more pronounced in those very lands to which so many thousand shiploads of our best people have been taken. in the united states the question has attracted much attention, and there is little disagreement among careful observers as to the main facts of the situation. the question is, indeed, somewhat difficult for two reasons: the registration of births is not generally compulsory in the united states, and, even when general facts are ascertained, it is still necessary to distinguish between the different classes of the population. our conclusions must therefore be based, not on the course of a general birth-rate, but on the most reliable calculations, based on the census returns and on the average size of the family at different periods, and among different classes of the population. a bulletin of the census bureau of the united states since was prepared a few years ago by walter f. wilcox, of cornell university. it determines from the data in the census office the proportion of children to the number of women of child-bearing age in the country at different periods, and shows that there has been, on the whole, a fall from the beginning to the end of the last century. children under ten years of age constituted one-third of the population at the beginning of the century, and at the end less than one-fourth of the total population. between and the proportion of children to women between fifteen and forty-nine years of age increased, but since it has constantly decreased. in the number of children under five years of age to one thousand women between fifteen and forty-nine years of age was ; in it was only . the proportion of children to potential mothers in was only three-fourths as large as in . in the north and west of the united states the decline has been regular, while in the south the change has been less regular and the decline less marked. a comparison is made between the proportion of children in the foreign-born population and in the american. the former was to the latter's . in the coloured population the proportion of children is greater than in the corresponding white population. there can be no doubt whatever that, from the eighteenth century to the twentieth, there has been a steady decrease in the size of the american family. franklin, in the eighteenth century, estimated that the average number of children to a married couple was eight; genealogical records show that, while in the seventeenth century it was nearly seven, it was over six at the end of the eighteenth century. since then, as engelmann and others have shown, there has been a steady decrease in the size of the family; in the earlier years of the nineteenth century there were between four and five children to each marriage, while by the end of the century the number of children had fallen to between four and but little over one. engelmann finds that there is but a very trifling difference in this respect between the upper and the lower social classes; the average for the labouring classes at st. louis he finds to be about two, and for the higher classes a little less. it is among the foreign-born population, and among those of foreign parents, that the larger families are found; thus kuczynski, by analysing the census, finds that in massachusetts the average number of children to each married woman among the american-born of all social classes is . , while among the foreign-born of all social classes it is . . moreover, sterility is much more frequent among american women than among foreign women in america. among various groups in boston, st. louis, and elsewhere it varies between and per cent, and in some smaller groups is even considerably higher, while among the foreign-born it is only per cent. the net result is that the general natality of the united states at the present day is about equal to that of france, but that, when we analyse the facts, the fertility of the old native-born american population of mainly anglo-saxon origin is found to be lower than that of france. this element, therefore, is rapidly dwindling away in the united states. the general level of the birth-rate is maintained by the foreign immigrants, who in many states (as in new york, massachusetts, michigan, and minnesota) constitute the majority of the population, and altogether number considerably over ten millions. among these immigrants the anglo-saxon element is now very small. indeed, the whole north european contingent among the american immigrants, which was formerly nearly per cent of the whole, has since steadily sunk, and the majority of the immigrants now belong to the central, southern, and eastern european stocks. the racial, and, it is probable, the psychological characteristics of the people of the united states are thus beginning to undergo, not merely modification, but, it may almost be said, a revolution. if, as we may well believe, the influence of the original north-european racial elements--anglo-saxon, dutch, and french--still continues to persist in the united states, it can only be the influence of a small aristocracy, maintained by intellect and character. when we turn to canada, a land that is imposing, less by the actual size of the population than by the vast tracts it possesses for its development, the question has not yet been fully investigated; but such facts and official publications as i have been able to obtain all indicate that, in this matter, the english canadians approximate to the native americans. in the united states it is the european immigrants who maintain the general population at a productive level, and thus indirectly oust the anglo-saxon element. in canada the chief dividing line is between the anglo-saxon element and the old french element in the population; and here it is the french canadians who are gaining ground on the english elements in the population. engelmann ascertained that an examination of one thousand families in the records of quebec life assurance companies shows . children on the average to the french canadian child-bearing woman. it is found also from the records of the french canadian society for artisans that families from town districts, taken at random, show . children per family, and families from country districts show . children per family.[ ] it must be remembered that this average, which is even higher than that found in russia, the most prolific of european countries, is not quite the same as the number of children per marriage; but it indicates very great fertility, while it may be noted also that sterile marriages are comparatively rare among french canadians, although among english canadians the proportion of childless families is found to be almost exactly the same (nearly per cent) as among the infertile americans of massachusetts. the annual reports of the registrar-general of ontario, a province which is predominantly of anglo-saxon origin, show that the average birth-rate during the decade - has been . per ; it must be noted, however, that there has been a gradual rise from a rate of . in to one of . in . the report of mr. prévost, the recorder of vital statistics for the predominantly french province of quebec, shows much higher rates. the general birth-rate for the province for the year is high, being . , much higher than that of england, and nearly as high as that of germany. if, however, we consider the thirty-five counties of the province in which the population is almost exclusively french canadian, we find that represents almost the lowest average; as many as twenty-two of these counties show a rate of over forty, and one (yamaska) reached . . it is very evident that, in order to pull down these high birth-rates to the general level of . , we have to assume a much lower birth-rate among the counties in which the english element is considerable. it must be remembered, however, that infant mortality is high among the french canadians. the french canadian catholic, it has been said, would shrink in horror from such an unnatural crime as limiting his family before birth, but he sees nothing repugnant to god or man in allowing the surplus excess of children to die after birth. in this he is at one with the chinese. dr. e.p. la chapelle, the president of the provincial conseil d'hygiène, wrote some years ago to professor davidson, in answer to inquiries: "i do not believe it would be correct to ascribe the phenomenon to any single cause, and i am convinced it is the result of several factors. for one, the first cause of the heavy infant mortality among the french canadians is their very heavy natality, each family being composed of an average of twelve children, and instances of families of fifteen, eighteen, and even twenty-four children being not uncommon. the super-abundance of children renders, i think, parents less careful about them."[ ] the net result is a slight increase on the part of the french canadians, as compared with the english element in the province, as becomes clear when we compare the proportion of the population of english, scotch, irish, and all other nationalities with the total population of the province, now and thirty years ago. in it was per cent; in it was only per cent. the decrease of the anglo-saxons may here appear to be small, though it must be remembered that thirty years is but a short period in the history of a nation; but it is significant when we bear in mind that the english element has here been constantly reinforced by immigrants (who, as the experience of the united states shows, are by no means an infertile class), and that such reinforcement cannot be expected to continue in the future. from australia comes the same story of the decline of anglo-saxon fertility. in nearly all the australian colonies the highest birth-rate was reached some twenty or thirty years ago. since then there has been a more or less steady fall, accompanied by a marked decrease in the number of marriages, and a tendency to postpone the age of marriage. one colony, western australia, has a birth-rate which sometimes fluctuates above that of england; but it is the youngest of the colonies, and, at present, that with the smallest population, largely composed of recent immigrants. we may be quite sure that its comparatively high birth-rate is merely a temporary phenomenon. a very notable fact about the australian birth-rate is the extreme rapidity with which the fall has taken place; thus queensland, in , had a birth-rate of , but by the rate had steadily fallen to , and the victorian rate during the same period fell from to per thousand. in new south wales, the state of things has been carefully studied by mr. coghlan, formerly government statistician of new south wales, who comes to the conclusion that the proportion of fertile marriages is declining, and that (as in the united states) it is the recent european immigrants only who show a comparatively high birth-rate. until , coghlan states, the australasian birth-rate was about per thousand, and the average number of children to the family about . . in the birth-rate had already fallen to . and the size of the family to . children.[ ] it should be added that in all the australasian colonies the birth-rate reached its lowest point some years ago, and may now be regarded as in a state of normal equipoise with a slight tendency to rise. the case of new zealand is specially interesting. new zealand once had the highest birth-rate of all the australasian colonies; it is without doubt the most advanced of all in social and legislative matters; a variety of social reforms, which other countries are struggling for, are, in new zealand, firmly established. its prosperity is shown by the fact that it has the lowest death-rate of any country in the world, only . per thousand, as against in austria and in france; it cannot even be said that the marriage-rate is very low, for it is scarcely lower than that of austria, where the birth-rate is high. yet the birth-rate in new zealand fell as the social prosperity of the country rose, reaching its lowest point in . we thus find that from the three great anglo-saxon centres of the world--north, west, and south--the same story comes. we need not consider the case of south africa, for it is well recognized that there the english constitute a comparatively infertile fringe, mostly confined to the towns, while the earlier dutch element is far more prolific and firmly rooted in the soil. the position of the dutch there is much the same as that of the french in canada. thus we find that among highly civilized races generally, and not least among the english-speaking peoples who were once regarded as peculiarly prolific, a great diminution of reproductive activity has taken place during the past forty years, and is in some countries still taking place. but before we proceed to consider its significance it may be well to look a little more closely at our facts. we have seen that the "crude" birth-rate is not an altogether reliable index of the reproductive energy of a nation. various circumstances may cause an excess or a defect of persons of reproductive age in a community, and unless we allow for these variations, we cannot estimate whether that community is exercising its reproductive powers in a fairly normal manner. but there is another and still more important consideration always to be borne in mind before we can attach any far-reaching significance even to the corrected birth-rate. we have, that is, to bear in mind that a high or a low birth-rate has no meaning, so far as the growth of a nation is concerned, unless it is considered in relation to the death-rate. the natural increase of a nation is not the result of its birth-rate, but of its birth-rate minus its death-rate. a low birth-rate with a low death-rate (as in australasia) produces a far greater natural increase than a low birth-rate with a rather high death-rate (as in france), and may even produce as great an increase as a very high birth-rate with a very high death-rate (as in russia). many worthy people might have been spared the utterance of foolish and mischievous jeremiads, if, instead of being content with a hasty glance at the crude birth-rate, they had paused to consider this fairly obvious fact. there is an intimate connection between a high birth-rate and a high death-rate, between a low birth-rate and a low death-rate. it may not, indeed, be an absolutely necessary connection, and is not the outcome of any mysterious "law." but it usually exists, and the reasons are fairly obvious. we have already encountered the statement from an official canadian source that the large infantile mortality of french canadian families is due to parental carelessness, consequent, no doubt, not only on the dimly felt consciousness that children are cheap, but much more on inability to cope with the manifold cares involved by a large family. among the english working class every doctor knows the thinly veiled indifference or even repulsion with which women view the seemingly endless stream of babies they give birth to. among the berlin working class, also, hamburger's important investigation has indicated how serious a cause of infantile mortality this may be. by taking working-class women, who had been married twenty years and conceived times, he found that the net result in surviving children was relatively more than twice as great among the women who had only had one child when compared to the women who had had fifteen children. the women with only one child brought . per cent of these children to maturity; the women who had produced fifteen children could only bring . of them to maturity; the intermediate groups showed a gradual fall to this low level, the only exception being that the mothers of three children were somewhat more successful than the mothers of two children. among well-to-do mothers hamburger found no such marked contrast between the net product of large families as compared to small families.[ ] it we look at the matter from a wider standpoint we can have no difficulty in realizing that a community which is reproducing itself rapidly must always be in an unstable state of disorganization highly unfavourable to the welfare of its members, and especially of the new-comers; a community which is reproducing itself slowly is in a stable and organized condition which permits it to undertake adequately the guardianship of its new members. the high infantile mortality of the community with a high birth-rate merely means that that community is unconsciously making a violent and murderous effort to attain to the more stable and organized level of the country with a low birth-rate. the english registrar-general in estimated the natural increase by excess of births over deaths as exceptionally high (higher than that of england) in several australian colonies, in the balkan states, in russia, the netherlands, the german empire, denmark, and norway, though in the majority of these lands the birth-rate is very low. on the other hand, the natural increase by excess of births over deaths is below the english rate in austria, in hungary, in japan, in italy, in sweden, switzerland, spain, belgium, and ontario, though in the majority of these lands the birth-rate is high, and in some very high.[ ] in most cases it is the high death-rate in infancy and childhood which exercises the counterbalancing influence against a high birth-rate; the death-rate in adult life may be quite moderate. and with few exceptions we find that a high infantile mortality accompanies a high birth-rate, while a low infantile mortality accompanies a low birth-rate. it is evident, however, that even an extremely high infantile mortality is no impediment to a large natural increase provided the birth-rate is extremely high to a more than corresponding extent. but a natural increase thus achieved seems to be accompanied by far more disastrous social conditions than when an equally large increase is achieved by a low infantile death-rate working in association with a low birth-rate. thus in norway on one side of the world and in australasia on the opposite side we see a large natural increase effected not by a profuse expenditure of mostly wasted births but by an economy in deaths, and the increase thus effected is accompanied by highly favourable social conditions, and great national vigour. norway appears to have the lowest infantile death-rate in europe.[ ] rubin has suggested that the fairest measure of a country's well-being, as regards its actual vitality--without direct regard, of course, to the country's economic prosperity--is the square of the death-rate divided by the birth-rate.[ ] sir j.a. baines, who accepts this test, states that argentina with its high birth-rate and low death-rate stands even above norway, and australia still higher, while the climax for the world is attained by new zealand, which has attained "the nearest approach to immortality yet on record."[ ] the order of descending well-being in europe is thus represented (at the year ) by norway, sweden, denmark, holland, england, scotland, finland, belgium, switzerland, germany, ireland, portugal, italy, austria, france, and spain. on the other hand, in all the countries, probably without exception, in which a large natural increase is effected by the efforts of an immense birth-rate to overcome an enormous death-rate the end is only effected with much friction and misery, and the process is accompanied by a general retardation of civilization. "the greater the number of children," as hamburger puts it, "the greater the cost of each survivor to the family and to the state." russia presents not only the most typical but the most stupendous and appalling example of this process. thirty years ago the mortality of infants under one year was three times that of norway, nearly double that of england. more recently ( - ) the infantile mortality in russia has fallen from to , but as that of the other countries has also fallen it still preserves nearly the same relative position, remaining the highest in europe, while if we compare it with countries outside europe we find it is considerably more than four times greater than that of south australia. in one town in the government of perm, some years ago if not still, the mortality of infants under one year regularly reached per cent, and the deaths of children under five years constituted half the total mortality. this is abnormally high even for russia, but for all russia it was found that of the boys born in a single year during the second half of the last century only per cent reached their twenty-first year, and even of these only . per cent were fit for military service. it is estimated that there die in russia per thousand more individuals than among the same number in england; this excess mortality represents a loss of , , lives to the state every year.[ ] thus russia has the highest birth-rate and at the same time the highest death-rate. the large countries which, after russia, have the highest infantile mortality are austria, hungary, prussia, spain, italy, and japan; all these, as we should expect, have a somewhat high birth-rate. the case of japan is interesting as that of a vigorous young eastern nation, which has assimilated western ways and is encountering the evils which come of those ways. japan is certainly worthy of all our admiration for the skill and vigour with which it has affirmed its young nationality along western lines. but when the vital statistics of japan are vaguely referred to either as a model for our imitation or as a threatening peril to us, we may do well to look into the matter a little more closely. the infantile mortality of japan ( ) is , a very high figure, per cent higher than that of england, much more than double that of new zealand, or south australia. moreover, it has rapidly risen during the last ten years. the birth-rate of japan in - was high ( ), though it has since fallen to the level of ten years ago. but the death-rate has risen concomitantly (to over per ), and has continued to rise notwithstanding the slight decline in the birth-rate. we see here a tendency to the sinister combination of a falling birth-rate with a rising death-rate.[ ] it is obvious that such a tendency, if continued, will furnish a serious problem to japanese social reformers, and at the same time make it impossible for western alarmists to regard the rise of japan as a menace to the world. it is behind china that these alarmists, when driven from every other position, finally entrench themselves. "the ultimate future of these islands may be to the chinese," incautiously exclaims mr. sidney webb, who on many subjects, unconnected with china, speaks with authority. the knowledge of the vital statistics of china possessed by our alarmists is vague to the most extreme degree, but as the knowledge of all of us is scarcely less vague, they assume that their position is fairly safe. that, however, is an altogether questionable assumption. it seems to be quite true--though in the absence of exact statistics it may not be certain--that the birth-rate in china is very high. but it is quite certain that the infantile death-rate is extremely high. "out of ten children born among us, three, normally the weakest three, will fail to grow up: out of ten children born in china these weakest three will die, and probably five more besides," writes professor ross, who is intimately acquainted with chinese conditions, and has closely questioned thirty-three physicians practising in various parts of china.[ ] matignon, a french physician familiar with china, states that it is the custom for a woman to suckle her child for at least three years; should pregnancy occur during this period, it is usual, and quite legal, to procure abortion. infants brought up by hand are fed on rice-flour and water, and consequently they nearly all die.[ ] putting aside altogether the question of infanticide, such a state of things is far from incredible when we remember the extremely insanitary state of china, the superstitions that flourish unchecked, and the famines, floods, and pestilences that devastate the country. it would appear probable that when vital statistics are introduced into china they will reveal a condition of things very similar to that we find in russia, but in a more marked degree. no doubt it is a state of things which will be remedied. it is a not unreasonable assumption, supported by many indications, that china will follow japan in the adoption of western methods of civilization.[ ] these methods, as we know, involve in the end a low birth-rate with a general tendency to a lower death-rate. neither in the near nor in the remote future, under present conditions or under probable future conditions, is there any reason for imagining that the chinese are likely to replace the europeans in europe.[ ] this preliminary survey of the ground may enable us to realize that not only must we be cautious in attaching importance to the crude birth-rate until it is corrected, but that even as usually corrected the birth-rate can give us no clue at all to natural increase because there is a marked tendency for the birth-rate and the infantile death-rate to rise or sink together. moreover, it is evident that we have also to realize that from the point of view of society and civilization there is a vast difference between the natural increase which is achieved by the effort of an enormously high birth-rate to overcome an almost correspondingly high death-rate and the natural increase which is attained by the dominance of a low birth-rate over a still lower death-rate. having thus cleared the ground, we may proceed to attempt the interpretation of the declining birth-rate which marks civilization, and to discuss its significance. ii it must be admitted that it is not usual to consider the question of the declining birth-rate from a broad or scientific standpoint. as we have seen, no attempt is usually made to correct the crude birth-rate; still more rarely is it pointed out that we cannot consider the significance of a falling birth-rate apart from the question of the death-rate, and that the net increase or decrease in a nation can only be judged by taking both these factors into account. it is scarcely necessary to add, in view of so superficial a way of looking at the problem, that we hardly ever find any attempt to deal with the more fundamental question of the meaning of a low birth-rate, and the problematical character of the advantages of rapid multiplication. the whole question is usually left to the ignorant preachers of the gospel of brute force, would-be patriots who desire their own country to increase at the cost of all other countries, not merely in ignorance of the fact that the crude birth-rate is not the index of increase, but reckless of the effect their desire, if fulfilled, would have upon all the higher and finer ends of living. when the question is thus narrowly and ignorantly considered, it is usual to account for the decreased birth-rate, the smaller average families, and the tendency to postpone the age of marriage, as due mainly to a love of luxury and vice, combined with a newly acquired acquaintance with neo-malthusian methods,[ ] which must be combated, and may successfully be combated, by inculcating, as a moral and patriotic duty, the necessity of marrying early and procreating large families.[ ] in france, the campaign against the religious orders in their educational capacity, while doubtless largely directed against educational inefficiency, was also supported by the feeling that such education is not on the side of family life; and arsène dumont, one of the most vigorous champions of a strenuously active policy for increasing the birth-rate, openly protested against allowing any place as teachers to priests, monks, and nuns, whose direct and indirect influence must degrade the conception of sex and its duties while exalting the place of celibacy. in the united states, also, engelmann, who, as a gynæcologist, was able to see this process from behind the scenes, urged his fellow-countrymen "to stay the dangerous and criminal practices which are the main determining factors of decreasing fecundity, and which deprive women of health, the family of its highest blessings, and the nation of its staunchest support."[ ] we must, however, look at these phenomena a little more broadly, and bring them into relation with other series of phenomena. it is almost beyond dispute that a voluntary restriction of the number of offspring by neo-malthusian practices is at least one of the chief methods by which the birth-rate has been lowered. it may not indeed be--and probably, as we shall see, is not--the only method. it has even been denied that the prevalence of neo-malthusian practices counts at all.[ ] thus while coghlan, the government statistician of new south wales, concludes that the decline in the birth-rate in the australian commonwealth was due to "the art of applying artificial checks to conception," mclean, the government statistician of victoria, concludes that it was "due mainly to natural causes." [ ] he points out that when the birth-rate in australia, half a century ago, was nearly per , the population consisted chiefly of men and women at the reproductive period of life, and that since then the proportion of persons at these ages has declined, leading necessarily to a decline in the crude birth-rate. if we compare the birth-rate of communities among women of the same age-periods, mclean argues, we may obtain results quite different from the crude birth-rate. thus the crude birth-rate of buda-pesth is much higher than that of new south wales, but if we ascertain the birth-rate of married women at different age-periods ( to , to , etc.) the new south wales birth-rate is higher for every age-period than that of buda-pesth. mclean considers that in young communities with many vigorous immigrants the population is normally more prolific than in older and more settled communities, and that hardships and financial depression still more depress the birth-rate. he further emphasizes the important relationship, which we must never lose sight of in this connection, between a high birth-rate and a high death-rate, especially a high infantile death-rate, and he believes, indeed, that "the solution of the problem of the general decline in the birth-rate throughout all civilized communities lies in the preservation of human life." the mechanism of the connection would be, he maintains, that prolonged suckling in the case of living children increases the intervals between childbearing. as we have seen, there is a tendency, though not a rigid and invariable necessity,[ ] for a high birth-rate to be associated with a high infantile death-rate, and a low birth-rate with a low infantile death-rate. thus in victoria, we have the striking fact that while the birth-rate has declined per cent the infantile death-rate has declined approximately to the still greater extent of per cent. no doubt the chief cause of the reduction of the birth-rate has been its voluntary restriction by preventive methods due to the growth of intelligence, knowledge, and foresight. in all the countries where a marked decline in the birth-rate has occurred there is good reason to believe that neo-malthusian methods are generally known and practised. so far as england is concerned this is certainly the case. a few years ago mr. sidney webb made inquiries among middle-class people in all parts of the country, and found that in marriages were thus limited and only unlimited, while for the ten years - out of marriages were limited and only unlimited, but as five of these were childless there were only unlimited fertile marriages out of . as to the causes assigned for limiting the number of children, in out of cases in which particulars were given under this head the poverty of the parents in relation to their standard of comfort was a factor; sexual ill-health--that is, generally, the disturbing effect of child-bearing--in ; and other forms of ill-health of the parents in cases; in cases the disinclination of the wife was a factor, and the death of a parent had in cases terminated the marriage.[ ] in the skilled artisan class there is also good reason to believe that the voluntary limitation of families is constantly becoming more usual, and the statistics of benefit societies show a marked decline in the fertility of superior working-class people during recent years; thus it is stated by sidney webb that the hearts of oak friendly society paid benefits on child-birth to per , members in ; by the proportion had fallen to per , , a much greater fall than occurred in england generally. the voluntary adoption of preventive precautions may not be, however, the only method by which the birth-rate has declined; we may have also to recognize a concomitant physiological sterility, induced by delayed marriage and its various consequences; we have also to recognize pathological sterility due to the impaired vitality and greater liability to venereal disease of an increasingly urban life; and we may have to recognize that stocks differ from one another in fertility. the delay in marriage, as studied in england, is so far apparently slight; the mean age of marriage for all husbands in england has increased from . in to . in , and the mean age of all wives from . in to . in . this seems a very trifling rate of progression. if, however, we look at the matter in another way we find that there has been an extremely serious reduction in the number of marriages between to , normally the most fecund of all age-periods. between and (according to the registrar-general's report for ) the proportion of minors in marriages in england and wales was . husbands and . wives. in it had fallen to only . husbands and . wives. it has been held that this has not greatly affected the decline in the birth-rate. its tendency, however, must be in that direction. it is true that engelmann argued that delayed marriages had no effect at all on the birth-rate. but it has been clearly shown that as the age of marriage increases fecundity distinctly diminishes.[ ] this is illustrated by the specially elaborate statistics of scotland for ;[ ] the number of women having children, that is, the fecundity, was higher in the years to , than at any subsequent age-period, except to , and the fact that the earliest age-group is not absolutely highest is due to the presence of a number of immature women. in new south wales, coghlan has shown that if the average number of children is . , then a woman marrying at may expect to have five children, a woman marrying at three children, at two children, and at one child. newsholme and stevenson, again, conclude that the general law of decline of fertility with advancing age of the mother is shown in various countries, and that in nearly all countries the mothers aged to have the largest number of children; the chief exception is in the case of some northern countries like norway and finland, where women develop late, and there it is the mothers of to who have the largest number of children.[ ] the postponement in the age of marriage during recent years is, however, so slight that it can only account for a small part of the decline in the birth-rate; coghlan calculates that of unborn possible children in new south wales the loss of only about one-sixth is to be attributed to this cause. in london, however, heron considers that the recognized connection between a low birth-rate and a high social standing might have been entirely accounted for sixty years ago by postponement of marriage, and that such postponement may still account for per cent of it.[ ] it is not enough, however, to consider the mechanism by which the birth-rate declines; to realize the significance of the decline we must consider the causes which set the mechanism in action. we begin to obtain a truer insight into the meaning of the curve of a country's birth-rate when we realize that it is in relation with the industrial and commercial activity of the country.[ ] it is sometimes stated that a high birth-rate goes with a high degree of national prosperity. that, however, is scarcely the case; we have to look into the matter a little more closely. and, when we do so, we find that, not only is the statement of a supposed connection between a high birth-rate and a high degree of prosperity an imperfect statement; it is altogether misleading. if, in the first place, we attempt to consider the state of things among savages, we find, indeed, great variations, and the birth-rate is not infrequently low. but, on the whole, it would appear, the marriage-rate, the birth-rate, and, it may be added, the death-rate are all alike high. karl ranke has investigated the question with considerable care among the trumai and nahuqua indians of central brazil.[ ] these tribes are yet totally uncontaminated by contact with european influences; consumption and syphilis are alike unknown. in the two villages he investigated in detail, ranke found that every man over twenty-five years of age was married, and that the only unmarried woman he discovered was feeble-minded. the average size of the families of those women who were over forty years of age was between five and six children, while, on the other hand, the mortality among children was great, and a relatively small proportion of the population reached old age. we see therefore that, among these fairly typical savages, living under simple natural conditions, the fertility of the women is as high as it is among all but the most prolific of european peoples; while, in striking contrast with european peoples, among whom a large percentage of the population never marry, and of those who do, many have no children, practically every man and woman both marries and produces children. if we leave savages out of the question and return to europe, it is still instructive to find that among those peoples who live under the most primitive conditions much the same state of things may be found as among savages. this is notably the case as regards russia. in no other great european country do the bulk of the women marry at so early an age, and in no other is the average size of the family so large. and, concomitantly with a very high marriage-rate and a very high birth-rate, we find in russia, in an equally high degree, the prevalence among the masses of infantile and general mortality, disease (epidemical and other), starvation, misery.[ ] so far we scarcely see any marked connection between high fertility and prosperity. it is more nearly indicated in the high birth-rate of hungary--only second to that of russia, and also accompanied by a high mortality--which is associated with the rapid and notable development of a young nationality. the case of hungary is, indeed, typical. in so far as high fertility is associated with prosperity, it is with the prosperity of a young and unstable community, which has experienced a sudden increase of wealth and a sudden expansion. the case of western australia illustrates the same point. thirty years ago the marriage-rate and the birth-rate of this colony were on the same level as those of the other australian colonies; but a sudden industrial expansion occurred, both rates rose, and in the fertility of western australia was higher than that of any other english-speaking community.[ ] if now we put together the facts observed in savage life and the facts observed in civilized life, we shall begin to see the real nature of the factors that operate to raise or lower the fertility of a community. it is far, indeed, from being prosperity which produces a high fertility, for the most wretched communities are the most prolific, but, on the other hand, it is by no means the mere absence of prosperity which produces fertility, for we constantly observe that the on-coming of a wave of prosperity elevates the birth-rate. in both cases alike it is the absence of social-economic restraints which conduces to high fertility. in the simple, primitive community of savages, serfs, or slaves, there is no restraint on either nutritive or reproductive enjoyments; there is no adequate motive for restraint; there are no claims of future wants to inhibit the gratification of present wants; there are no high standards, no ideals. supposing, again, that such restraints have been established by a certain amount of forethought as regards the future, or a certain calculation as to social advantages to be gained by limiting the number of children, a check on natural fertility is established. but a sudden accession of prosperity--a sudden excess of work and wages and food--sweeps away this check by apparently rendering it unnecessary; the natural reproductive impulse is liberated by this rising wave, and we here see whatever truth there is in the statement that prosperity means a high birth-rate. in reality, however, prosperity in such a case merely increases fertility because its sudden affluence reduces a community to the same careless indifference in regard to the future, the same hasty snatching at the pleasures of the moment, as we find among the most hopeless and least prosperous communities. it is a significant fact, as shown by beveridge, that the years when the people of great britain marry most are the years when they drink most. it is in the absence of social-economic restraints--the absence of the perception of such restraints, or the absence of the ability to act in accordance with such perception--that the birth-rate is high. arsène dumont seems to have been one of the first who observed this significance of the oscillation of the birth-rate, though he expressed it in a somewhat peculiar way, as the social capillarity theory. it is the natural and universal tendency of mankind to ascend, he declared; a high birth-rate and a strong ascensional impulse are mutually contradictory. large families are only possible when there is no progress, and no expectation of it can be cherished; small families become possible when the way has been opened to progress. "one might say," dumont puts it, "that invisible valves, like those which direct the circulation of the blood, have been placed by nature to direct the current of human aspiration in the upward path it has prescribed." as the proletariat is enabled to enjoy the prospect of rising it comes under the action of this law of social capillarity, and the birth-rate falls. it is the effort towards an indefinite perfection, dumont declares, which justifies nature and man, consoles us for our griefs, and constitutes our sovereign safeguard against the philosophy of despair.[ ] when we thus interpret the crude facts of the falling birth-rate, viewing them widely and calmly in connection with the other social facts with which they are intimately related, we are able to see how foolish has been the outcry against a falling birth-rate, and how false the supposition that it is due to a new selfishness replacing an ancient altruism.[ ] on the contrary, the excessive birth-rate of the early industrial period was directly stimulated by selfishness. there were no laws against child-labour; children were produced that they might be sent out, when little more than babies, to the factories and the mines to increase their parents' income. the fundamental instincts of men and women do not change, but their direction can be changed. in this field the change is towards a higher transformation, introducing a finer economy into life, diminishing death, disease, and misery, making possible the finer ends of living, and at the same time indirectly and even directly improving the quality of the future race.[ ] this is now becoming recognized by nearly all calm and sagacious inquirers.[ ] the wild outcry of many unbalanced persons to-day, that a falling birth-rate means degeneration and disaster, is so altogether removed from the sphere of reason that we ought perhaps to regard it as comparable to those manias which, in former centuries, have assumed other forms more attractive to the neurotic temperament of those days; fortunately, it is a mania which, in the nature of things, is powerless to realize itself, and we need not anticipate that the outcry against small families will have the same results as the ancient outcry against witches.[ ] it may be proper at this stage to point out that while, in the foregoing statement, a high birth-rate and a high marriage-rate have been regarded as practically the same thing, we need to make a distinction. the true relation of the two rates may be realized when it is stated that, the more primitive a community is, the more closely the two rates vary together. as a community becomes more civilized and more complex, the two rates tend to diverge; the restraints on child-production are deeper and more complex than those on marriage, so that the removal of the restraint on marriage by no means removes the restraint on fertility. they tend to diverge in opposite directions. farr considered the marriage-rate among civilized peoples as a barometer of national prosperity. in former years, when corn was a great national product, the marriage-rate in england rose regularly as the price of wheat fell. of recent years it has become very difficult to estimate exactly what economic factors affect the marriage-rate. it is believed by some that the marriage-rate rises or falls with the value of exports.[ ] udny yule, however, in an expertly statistical study of the matter,[ ] finds (in agreement with hooker) that neither exports nor imports tally with the marriage-rate. he concludes that the movement of prices is a predominant--though by no means the sole--factor in the change of marriage-rates, a fall in prices producing a fall in the marriage-rates and also in the birth-rates, though he also thinks that pressure on the labour market has forced both rates lower than the course of prices would lead one to expect. in so far as these causes are concerned, udny yule states, the fall is quite normal and pessimistic views are misplaced. udny yule, however, appears to be by no means confident that his explanation covers a large part of the causation, and he admits that he cannot understand the rationale of the connection between marriage-rates and prices. the curves of the marriage-rates in many countries indicate a maximum about or shortly before, , when the birth-rate also tended to reach a maximum, and another rise towards , thus making the intermediate curve concave. there was, however, a large rise in money wages between and , and the rise in the consuming power of the population has been continuous since . thus the factors favourable to a high marriage-rate must have risen from to a maximum about - , and since then have fallen continuously. this statement, which mr. udny yule emphasizes, certainly seems highly significant from our present point of view. it falls into line with the view here accepted, that the first result of a sudden access of prosperity is to produce a general orgy, a reckless and improvident haste to take advantage of the new prosperity, but that, as the effects of the orgy wear off, it necessarily gives place to new ideals, and to higher standards of life which lead to caution and prudence. mr. n.a. hooker seems to have perceived this, and in the discussion which followed the reading of udny yule's paper he set forth what (though it was not accepted by udny yule) may perhaps fairly be regarded as the sound view of the matter. "during the great expansion of trade prior to ," he remarked, "the means of satisfying the desired standard of comfort were increasing much more rapidly than the rise in the standard; hence a decreasing age of marriage and a marriage-rate above the normal. after about , however, the means of satisfying the standard of comfort no longer increased with the same rapidity, and then a new factor, he thought, became important, viz. the increased intelligence of the people."[ ] this seems to be precisely the same view of the matter as i have here sought to set forth; prosperity is not civilization, its first tendency is to produce a reckless abandonment to the satisfaction of the crudest impulses. but as prosperity develops it begins to engender more complex ideals and higher standards; the inevitable result is a greater forethought and restraint.[ ] if we consider, not the marriage-rate, but the average age at marriage, and especially the age of the woman, which varies less than that of the man, the results, though harmonious, would not be quite the same. the general tendency as regards the age of girls at marriage is summed up by ploss and bartels, in their monumental work on woman, in the statement: "it may be said in general that the age of girls at marriage is lower, the lower the stage of civilization is in the community to which they belong."[ ] we thus see one reason why it is that, in an advanced stage of civilization, a high marriage-rate is not necessarily associated with a high birth-rate. a large number of women who marry late may have fewer children than a smaller number who marry early. we may see the real character of the restraints on fertility very well illustrated by the varying birth-rate of the upper and lower social classes belonging to the same community. if a high birth-rate were a mark of prosperity or of advanced civilization, we should expect to find it among the better social class of a community. but the reverse is the case; it is everywhere the least prosperous and the least cultured classes of a community which show the highest birth-rate. as we go from the very poor to the very rich quarters of a great city--whether paris, berlin, or vienna--the average number of children to the family diminishes regularly. the difference is found in the country as well as in the towns. in holland, for instance, whether in town or country, there are . children per marriage among the poor, and only . among the rich. in london it is notorious that the same difference appears; thus charles booth, the greatest authority on the social conditions of london, in the concluding volume of his vast survey, sums up the condition of things in the statement that "the lower the class the earlier the period of marriage and the greater the number of children born to each marriage." the same phenomenon is everywhere found, and it is one of great significance. the significance becomes clearer when we realize that an urban population must always be regarded as more "civilized" than a rural population, and that, in accordance with that fact, an urban population tends to be less prolific than a rural population. the town birth-rate is nearly always lower than the country birth-rate. in germany this is very marked, and the rapidly growing urbanization of germany is accompanied by a great fall of the birth-rate in the large cities, but not in the rural districts. in england the fall is more widespread, and though the birth-rate is much higher in the country than in the towns the decline in the rural birth-rate is now proceeding more rapidly than that in the urban birth-rate. england, which once contained a largely rural population, now possesses a mainly urban population. every year it becomes more urban; while the town population grows, the rural population remains stationary; so that, at the present time, for every inhabitant of the country in england, there are more than three town-dwellers. as the country-dweller is more prolific than the town-dweller, this means that the rural population is constantly being poured into the towns. the larger our great cities grow, the more irresistible becomes the attraction which they exert on the children of the country, who are fascinated by them, as the birds are fascinated by the lighthouse or the moths by the candle. and the results are not altogether unlike those which this analogy suggests. at the present time, one-third of the population of london is made up of immigrants from the country. yet, notwithstanding this immense and constant stream of new and vigorous blood, it never suffices to raise the urban population to the same level of physical and nervous stability which the rural population possesses. more alert, more vivacious, more intelligent, even more urbane in the finer sense, as the urban population becomes,--not perhaps at first, but in the end,--it inevitably loses its stamina, its reserves of vital energy. dr. cantlie very properly defines a londoner as a person whose grandparents all belonged to london--and he could not find any. dr. harry campbell has found a few who could claim london grandparents; they were poor specimens of humanity.[ ] even on the intellectual side there are no great londoners. it is well known that a number of eminent men have been born in london; but, in the course of a somewhat elaborate study of the origins of british men of genius, i have not been able to find that any were genuinely londoners by descent.[ ] an urban life saps that calm and stolid strength which is necessary for all great effort and stress, physical or intellectual. the finest body of men in london, as a class, are the london police, and charles booth states that only per cent of the london police are born in london, a smaller proportion than any other class of the london population except the army and navy. as mr. n.c. macnamara has pointed out, it is found that london men do not possess the necessary nervous stability and self-possession for police work; they are too excitable and nervous, lacking the equanimity, courage, and self-reliance of the rural men. just in the same way, in spain, the bull-fighters, a body of men admirable for their graceful strength, their modesty, courage, and skill, nearly always come from country districts, although it is in the towns that the enthusiasm for bull-fighting is centred. therefore, it would appear that until urban conditions of life are greatly improved, the more largely urban a population becomes, the more is its standard of vital and physical efficiency likely to be lowered. this became clearly visible during the south african war; it was found at manchester (as stated by dr. t.p. smith and confirmed by dr. clayton) that among , young men who volunteered for enlistment, scarcely more than per cent could pass the surgeon's examination, although the standard of physique demanded was extremely low, while major-general sir f. maurice has stated[ ] that, even when all these rejections have been made, of those who actually are enlisted, at the end of two years only two effective soldiers are found for every five who enlist. it is not difficult to see a bearing of these facts on the birth-rate. the civilized world is becoming a world of towns, and, while the diminished birth-rate of towns is certainly not mainly the result of impaired vitality, these phenomena are correlative facts of the first importance for every country which is using up its rural population and becoming a land of cities. from our present point of view it is thus a very significant fact that the equipoise between country-dwellers and town-dwellers has been lost, that the towns are gaining at the expense of the country whose surplus population they absorb and destroy. the town population is not only disinclined to propagate; it is probably in some measure unfit to propagate. at the same time, we must not too strongly emphasize this aspect of the matter; such over-emphasis of a single aspect of highly complex phenomena constantly distorts our vision of great social processes. we have already seen that it is inaccurate to assert any connection between a high birth-rate and a high degree of national prosperity, except in so far as at special periods in the history of a country a sudden wave of prosperity may temporarily remove the restraints on natural fertility. prosperity is only one of the causes that tend to remove the restraint on the birth-rate; and it is a cause that is never permanently effective. iii to get to the bottom of the matter, we thus find it is necessary to look into it more closely than is usually attempted. when we ask ourselves why prosperity fails permanently to remove the restraints on fertility the answer is, that it speedily creates new restraints. prosperity and civilization are far from being synonymous terms. the savage who is able to glut himself with the whale that has just been stranded on his coast, is more prosperous than he was the day before, but he is not more civilized, perhaps a trifle less so. the working community that is suddenly glutted by an afflux of work and wages is in exactly the same position as the savage who is suddenly enabled to fill himself with a rich mass of decaying blubber. it is prosperity; it is not civilization.[ ] but, while prosperity leads at first to the reckless and unrestrained gratification of the simplest animal instincts of nutrition and reproduction, it tends, when it is prolonged, to evolve more complex instincts. aspirations become less crude, the needs and appetites engendered by prosperity take on a more social character, and are sharpened by social rivalries. in place of the earlier easy and reckless gratification of animal impulses, a peaceful and organized struggle is established for securing in ever fuller degree the gratification of increasingly insistent and increasingly complex desires. such a struggle involves a deliberate calculation and forethought, which, sooner or later, cannot fail to be applied to the question of offspring. thus it is that affluence, in the long run, itself imposes a check on reproduction. prosperity, under the stress of the urban conditions with which it tends to be associated, has been transformed into that calculated forethought, that deliberate self-restraint for the attainment of ever more manifold ends, which in its outcome we term "civilization." it is frequently assumed, as we have seen, that the process by which civilization is thus evolved is a selfish and immoral process. to procreate large families, it is said, is unselfish and moral, as well as a patriotic, even a religious duty. this assumption, we now find, is a little too hasty and is even the reverse of the truth; it is necessary to take into consideration the totality of the social phenomena accompanying a high birth-rate, more especially under the conditions of town life. a community in which children are born rapidly is necessarily in an unstable position; it is growing so quickly that there is insufficient time for the conditions of life to be equalized. the state of ill-adjustment is chronic; the pressure is lifted from off the natural impulse of procreation, but is increased on all the conditions under which the impulse is exerted. there is increased overcrowding, increased filth, increased disease, increased death. it can never happen, in modern times, that the readjustment of the conditions of life can be made to keep pace with a high birth-rate. it is sufficient if we consider the case of english towns, of london in particular, during the period when british prosperity was most rapidly increasing, and the birth-rate nearing its maximum, in the middle of the great victorian epoch, of which englishmen are, for many reasons, so proud. it was certainly not an age lacking in either energy or philanthropy; yet, when we read the memorable report which chadwick wrote in , on the _sanitary condition of the labouring population of great britain_, or the minute study of bethnal green which gavin published in as a type of the conditions prevailing in english towns, we realize that the magnificence of this epoch was built up over circles of hell to which the imagination of dante never attained. as reproductive activity dies down, social conditions become more stable, a comparatively balanced state of adjustment tends to be established, insanitary surroundings can be bettered, disease diminished, and the death-rate lowered. how much may thus be accomplished we realize when we compare the admirably precise and balanced pages in which charles booth, in the concluding volumes of his great work, has summarized his survey of london, with the picture presented by chadwick and gavin half a century earlier. ugly and painful as are many of the features of this modern london, the vision which is, on the whole, evoked is that of a community which has attained self-consciousness, which is growing into some faint degree of harmony with its environment, and is seeking to gain the full amount of the satisfaction which an organized urban life can yield. booth, who appears to have realized the significance of a decreased fertility in the attainment of this progress, hopes for a still greater fall in the birth-rate; and those who seek to restore the birth-rate of half a century ago are engaged on a task which would be criminal if it were not based on ignorance, and which is, in any case, fatuous. the whole course of zoological evolution reveals a constantly diminishing reproductive activity and a constantly increasing expenditure of care on the offspring thus diminished in number.[ ] fish spawn their ova by the million, and it is a happy chance if they become fertilized, a highly unlikely chance that more than a very small proportion will ever attain maturity. among the mammals, however, the female may produce but half a dozen or fewer offspring at a time, but she lavishes so much care upon them that they have a very fair chance of all reaching maturity. in man, in so far as he refrains from returning to the beast and is true to the impulse which in him becomes a conscious process of civilization, the same movement is carried forward. he even seeks to decrease still further the number of his offspring by voluntary effort, and at the same time to increase their quality and magnify their importance.[ ] when in human families, especially under civilized conditions, we see large families we are in the presence of a reversion to the tendencies that prevail among lower organisms. such large families may probably be regarded, as näcke suggests, as constituting a symptom of degeneration. it is noteworthy that they usually occur in the pathological and abnormal classes, among the insane, the feeble-minded, the criminal, the consumptive, the alcoholic, etc.[ ] this tendency of the birth-rate to fall with the growth of social stability is thus a tendency which is of the very essence of civilization. it represents an impulse which, however deliberate it may be in the individual, may, in the community, be looked upon as an instinctive effort to gain more complete control of the conditions of life, and to grapple more efficiently with the problems of misery and disease and death. it is not only, as is sometimes supposed, during the past century that the phenomena may be studied. we have a remarkable example some centuries earlier, an example which very clearly illustrates the real nature of the phenomena. the city of geneva, perhaps first of european cities, began to register its births, deaths, and marriages from the middle of the sixteenth century. this alone indicates a high degree of civilization; and at that time, and for some succeeding centuries, geneva was undoubtedly a very highly civilized city. its inhabitants really were the "elect," morally and intellectually, of french protestantism. in many respects it was a model city, as gray noted when he reached it in the course of his travels in the middle of the eighteenth century. these registers of geneva show, in a most illuminating manner, how extreme fertility at the outset, gradually gave place, as civilization progressed, to a very low fertility, with fewer and later marriages, a very low death-rate, and a state of general well-being in which the births barely replaced the deaths. after protestant geneva had lost her pioneering place in civilization, it was in france, the land which above all others may in modern times claim to represent the social aspects of civilization, that the same tendency most conspicuously appeared. but all europe, as well as all the english-speaking lands outside europe, is now following the lead of france. in a paper read before the paris society of anthropology a few years ago, emile macquart showed clearly, by a series of ingenious diagrams, that whereas, fifty years ago, the condition of the birth-rate in france diverged widely from that prevailing in the other chief countries of europe, the other countries are now rapidly following in the same road along which france has for a century been proceeding slowly, and are constantly coming closer to her, england closest of all. in the past, proposals have from time to time been made in france to interfere with the progress of this downward movement of the birth-rate--proposals that were sufficiently foolish, for neither in france nor elsewhere will the individual allow the statistician to interfere officiously in a matter which he regards as purely intimate and private. but the real character of this tendency of the birth-rate, as an essential phenomenon of civilization, with which neither moralist nor politician can successfully hope to interfere, is beginning to be realized in france. azoulay, in summing up the discussion after macquart's paper[ ] had been read at the society of anthropology, pointed out that "nations must inevitably follow the same course as social classes, and the more the mass of these social classes becomes civilized, the more the nation's birth-rate falls; therefore there is nothing to be done legally and administratively." and another member added: "except to applaud." it is probably too much to hope that so sagacious a view will at once be universally adopted. the united states and the great english colonies, for instance, find it difficult to realize that they are not really new countries, but branches of old countries, and already nearing maturity when they began their separate lives. they are not at the beginning of two thousand years of slow development, such as we have passed through, but at the end of it, with us, and sometimes even a little ahead of us. it is therefore natural and inevitable that, in a matter in which we are moving rapidly, massachusetts and ontario and new south wales and new zealand should have moved still more rapidly, so rapidly indeed, that they have themselves failed to perceive that their real natural increase and the manner in which it is attained place them in this matter at the van of civilization. these things are, however, only learnt slowly. we may be sure that the fundamental and complex character of the phenomena will never be obvious to our fussy little politicians, so apt to advocate panaceas which have effects quite opposite to those they desire. but, whatever politicians may wish to do or to leave undone, it is well to remember that, of the various ideals the world holds, there are some that lie on the path of our social progress, and others that do not there lie. we may properly exercise such wisdom as we possess by utilizing the ideals which are before us, serenely neglecting many others which however precious they may once have seemed, no longer form part of the stage of civilization we are now moving towards. iv what are the ideals of the stage of civilization we of the western world are now moving towards? we have here pushed as far as need be the analysis of that declining birth-rate which has caused so much anxiety to those amongst us who can only see narrowly and see superficially. we have found that, properly understood, there is nothing in it to evoke our pessimism. on the contrary, we have seen that, in the opinion of the most distinguished authorities, the energy with which we move in our present direction, through the exercise of an ever finer economy in life, may be regarded as a "measure of civilization" in the important sphere of vital statistics. as we now leave the question, some may ask themselves whether this concomitant decline in birth-rates and death-rates may not possibly have a still wider and more fundamental meaning as a measure of civilization. we have long been accustomed to regard the east as a spiritual world in which the finer ends of living were counted supreme, and the merely materialistic aspects of life, dissociated from the aims of religion and of art, were trodden under foot. our own western world we have humbly regarded as mainly absorbed in a feverish race for the attainment, by industry and war, of the satisfaction of the impulses of reproduction and nutrition, and the crudely material aggrandizement of which those impulses are the symbol. a certain outward idleness, a semi-idleness, as nietzsche said, is the necessary condition for a real religious life, for a real æsthetic life, for any life on the spiritual plane. the noisy, laborious, pushing, "progressive" life we traditionally associate with the west is essentially alien to the higher ends of living, as has been intuitively recognized and acted on by all those among us who have sought to pursue the higher ends of living. it was so that the nineteenth-century philosophers of europe, of whom schopenhauer was in this matter the extreme type, viewed the matter. but when we seek to measure the tendency of the chief countries of the west, led by france, england, and germany, and the countries of the east led by japan, in the light of this strictly measurable test of vital statistics, may we not, perhaps, trace the approach of a revolutionary transposition? japan, entering on the road we have nearly passed through, in which the perpetual clash of a high birth-rate and a high death-rate involves social disorder and misery, has flung to the winds the loftier ideals it once pursued so successfully and has lost its fine æsthetic perceptions, its insight into the most delicate secrets of the soul.[ ] and while japan, certainly to-day voicing the aspirations of the east, is concerned to become a great military and industrial power, we in the west are growing weary of war, and are coming to look upon commerce as a necessary routine no longer adequate to satisfy the best energies of human beings. we are here moving towards the fine quiescence involved by a delicate equipoise of life and of death; and this economy sets free an energy we are seeking to expend in a juster social organization, and in the realization of ideals which until now have seemed but the imagination of idle dreamers. asia, as an anonymous writer has recently put it, is growing crude, vulgar, and materialistic; europe, on the other hand, is growing to loathe its own past grossness. "london may yet be the spiritual capital of the world, while asia--rich in all that gold can buy and guns can give, lord of lands and bodies, builder of railways and promulgator of police regulations, glorious in all material glories--postures, complacent and obtuse, before a europe content in the possession of all that matters,"[ ] certainly, we are not there yet, but the old earth has seen many stranger and more revolutionary changes than this. england, as this writer reminds us, was once a tropical forest. footnotes: [ ] it must be understood that, from the present point of view, the term "anglo-saxon" covers the peoples of wales, scotland, and ireland, as well as of england. [ ] the decline of the french birth-rate has been investigated in a lyons thesis by salvat, _la dépopulation de la france_, . [ ] the latest figures are given in the annual reports of the registrar-general for england and wales. [ ] newsholme and stevenson, "decline of human fertility as shown by corrected birth-rates," _journal of the royal statistical society_, . [ ] werner sombart, _international magazine_, december, . [ ] a.w. flux, "urban vital statistics in england and germany," _journ. statist. soc._, march, . [ ] german infantile mortality, böhmert states ("die säuglingssterblichkeit in deutschland und ihre ursachen," _die neue generation_, march, ), is greater than in any european country, except russia and hungary, about per cent greater than in england, france, belgium, or holland. the infantile mortality has increased in germany, as usually happens, with the increased employment of women, and, largely from this cause, has nearly doubled in berlin in the course of four years, states lily braun (_mutterschutz_, , heft i, p. ); but even on this basis it is only per cent in the english textile industries, as against per cent in the german textile industries. [ ] in england the marriage-rate fell rather sharply in , and showed a slight tendency to rise about (g. udny yule, "on the changes in the marriage-and birth-rates in england and wales," _journal of the statistical society_, march, ). on the whole there has been a real though slight decline. the decline has been widespread, and is most marked in australia, especially south australia. there has, however, been a rise in the marriage-rate in ireland, france, austria, switzerland, germany, and especially belgium. the movement for decreased child-production would naturally in the first place involve decreased marriage, but it is easy to understand that when it is realized the marriage is not necessarily followed by conception this motive for avoiding marriage loses its force, and the marriage-rate rises. [ ] _medicine_, february, . [ ] davidson, "the growth of the french-canadian race," _annals of the american academy_, september, . [ ] t.a. coghlan, _the decline of the birth-rate of new south wales_, . the new south wales statistics are specially valuable as the records contain many particulars (such as age of parents, period since marriage, and number of children) not given in english or most other records. [ ] c. hamburger, "kinderzahl und kindersterblichkeit," _die neue generation_, august, . [ ] looked at in another way, it may be said that if a natural increase, as ascertained by subtracting the death-rate from the birth-rate, of to per cent be regarded as normal, then, taking so far as possible the figures for , the natural increase of england and scotland, of germany, of italy, of austria and hungary, of belgium, is normal; the natural increase of new south wales, of victoria, of south australia, of new zealand, is abnormally high (though in new countries such increase may not be undesirable) while the natural increase of france, of spain, and of ireland is abnormally low. such a method of estimation, of course, entirely leaves out of account the question of the social desirability of the process by which the normal increase is secured. [ ] johannsen, _janus_, . [ ] rubin, "a measure of civilization," _journal of the royal statistical society_, march, . "the lowest stage of civilization," he points out, "is to go forward blindly, which in this connection means to bring into the world a great number of children which must, in great proportion, sink into the grave. the next stage of civilization is to see the danger and to keep clear of it. the highest stage of civilization is to see the danger and overcome it." europe in the past and various countries in the present illustrate the first stage; france illustrates the second stage; the third stage is that towards which we are striving to move to-day. [ ] baines, "the recent growth of population in western europe," _journal of the royal statistical society_, december, . [ ] various facts and references are given by havelock ellis, _the nationalization of health_, chap. xiv. [ ] these are the figures given by the chief japanese authority, professor takano, _journal of the royal statistical society_, july, , p. . [ ] e.a. ross, "the race fibre of the chinese," _popular science monthly_, october, . according to another competent and fairly concordant estimate, the infantile death-rate of china is per cent. of the female infants, probably about in is intentionally destroyed. [ ] j.j. matignon, "la mère et l'enfant en chine," _archives d'anthropologie criminelle_, october to november, . [ ] arsène dumont, for instance, points out (_dépopulation et civilization_, p. ) that the very early marriages and the reckless fertility of the chinese cannot fail to cease as soon as the people adopt european ways. [ ] the confident estimates of the future population of the world which are from time to time put forward on the basis of the present birth-rate are quite worthless. a brilliantly insubstantial fabric of this kind, by b.l. putnam weale (_the conflict of colour_, ), has been justly criticized by professor weatherley (_popular science monthly_, november, ). [ ] it is sometimes convenient to use the term "neo-malthusianism" to indicate the voluntary limitation of the family, but it must always be remembered that malthus would not have approved of neo-malthusianism, and that neo-malthusian practices have nothing to do with the theory of malthus. they would not be affected could that theory be conclusively proved or conclusively disproved. [ ] we even find the demand that bachelors and spinsters shall be taxed. this proposal has been actually accepted ( ) by the landtag of the little principality of reuss, which proposes to tax bachelors and spinsters over thirty years of age. putting aside the arguable questions as to whether a state is entitled to place such pressure on its citizens, it must be pointed out that it is not marriage but the child which concerns the state. it is possible to have children without marriage, and marriage does not ensure the procreation of children. therefore it would be more to the point to tax the childless. in that case, it would be necessary to remit the tax in the case of unmarried people with children, and to levy it in the case of married people without children. but it has further to be remembered that not all persons are fitted to have sound children, and as unsound children are a burden and not a benefit to the state, the state ought to reward rather than to fine those conscientious persons who refrain from procreation when they are too poor, or with too defective a heredity, to be likely to produce, or to bring up, sound children. moreover, some persons are sterile, and thorough medical investigation would be required before they could fairly be taxed. as soon as we begin to analyse such a proposal we cannot fail to see that, even granting that the aim of such legislation is legitimate and desirable, the method of attaining it is thoroughly mischievous and unjustifiable. [ ] j.g. engelmann, "decreasing fecundity," _philadelphia medical journal_, january , . [ ] it has, further, been frequently denied that neo-malthusian practices can affect roman catholic countries, since the church is precluded from approving of them. that is true. but it is also true that, as lagneau long since pointed out, the protestants of europe have increased at more than double the annual rate of the catholics, though this relationship has now ceased to be exact. dumont states (_dépopulation et civilisation_, chap. xviii) that there is not the slightest reason to suppose that (apart from the question of poverty) the faithful have more children than the irreligious; moreover, in dealing with its more educated members, it is not the policy of the church to make indiscreet inquiries (see havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," p. ). a catholic bishop is reported to have warned his clergy against referring in their lent sermons to the voluntary restriction of conception, remarking that an excess of rigour in this matter would cause the church to lose half her flock. the fall in the birth-rate is as marked in catholic as in protestant countries; the catholic communities in which this is not the case are few, and placed in exceptional circumstances. it must be remembered, moreover, that the church enjoins celibacy on its clergy, and that celibacy is practically a malthusian method. it is not easy while preaching practical malthusianism to the clergy to spend much fervour in preaching against practical neo-malthusianism to the laity. [ ] mclean, "the declining birth-rate in australia," _international medical journal of australasia_, . [ ] thus in france the low birth-rate is associated with a high infantile death-rate, which has not yet been appreciably influenced by the movement of puericulture in france. in england also, at the end of the last century, the declining birth-rate was accompanied by a rising infantile death-rate, which is now, however, declining under the influence of greater care of child-life. [ ] sidney webb, _times_, october and , ; also _popular science monthly_, , p. . [ ] it is important to remember the distinction between "fecundity" and "fertility." a woman who has one child has proved that she is fecund, but has not proved that she is fertile. a woman with six children has proved that she is not only fecund but fertile. [ ] they have been worked out by c.j. lewis and j. norman lewis, _natality and fecundity_, . [ ] newsholme and stevenson, _op. cit._; rubin and westergaard, _statistik der ehen_, , p. . [ ] d. heron, "on the relation of fertility in man to social status," _drapers' company research memoirs_, no. , . [ ] the recognition of this relationship must not be regarded as an attempt unduly to narrow down the causation of changes in the birth-rate. the great complexity of the causes influencing the birth-rate is now fairly well recognized, and has, for instance, been pointed out by goldscheid, _höherentwicklung und menschenökonomie_, vol. i, . [ ] in a paper read at the brunswick meeting of the german anthropological society (_correspondenzblatt_ of the society, november, ); a great many facts concerning the fecundity of women among savages in various parts of the world are brought together by ploss and bartels, _das weib_, vol i, chap. xxiv. [ ] the proportion of doctors to the population is very small, and the people still have great confidence in their quacks and witch-doctors. the elementary rules of sanitation are generally neglected, water supplies are polluted, filth is piled up in the streets and the courtyards, as it was in england and western europe generally until a century ago, and the framing of regulations or the incursions of the police have little effect on the habits of the people. neglect of the ordinary precautions of cleanliness is responsible for the wide extension of syphilis by the use of drinking vessels, towels, etc., in common. not only is typhoid prevalent in nearly every province of russia, but typhus, which is peculiarly the disease of filth, overcrowding, and starvation, and has long been practically extinct in england, still flourishes and causes an immense mortality. the workers often have no homes and sleep in the factories amidst the machinery, men and women together; their food is insufficient, and the hours of labour may vary from twelve to fourteen. when famine occurs these conditions are exaggerated, and various epidemics ravage the population. [ ] it must, however, be remembered that in small and unstable communities a considerable margin for error must be allowed, as the crude birth-rate is unduly raised by an afflux of immigrants at the reproductive age. [ ] arsène dumont, _dépopulation et civilisation_, , chap. vi. the nature of the restraint on fertility has been well set forth by dr. bushee ("the declining birth-rate and its causes," _popular science monthly_, august, ), mainly in the terms of dumont's "social capillarity" theory. [ ] even dr. newsholme, usually so cautious and reliable an investigator in this field, has been betrayed into a reference in this connection (_the declining birth-rate_, , p. ) to the "increasing rarity of altruism," though in almost the next paragraph he points out that the large families of the past were connected with the fact that the child was a profitable asset, and could be sent to work when little more than an infant. the "altruism" which results in crushing the minds and bodies of others in order to increase one's own earnings is not an "altruism" which we need desire to perpetuate. the beneficial effect of legislation against child-labour in reducing an unduly high birth-rate has often been pointed out. [ ] it may suffice to take a single point. large families involve the birth of children at very short intervals. it has been clearly shown by dr. r.j. ewart ("the influence of parental age on offspring," _eugenics review_, october, ) that children born at an interval of less than two years after the birth of the previous child, remain, even when they have reached their sixth year, three inches shorter and three pounds lighter than first-born children. [ ] for instance, goldscheid, in _höherentwicklung und menschenökonomie_; it is also, on the whole, the conclusion of newsholme, though expressed in an exceedingly temperate manner, in his _declining birth-rate_. [ ] if, however, our birth-rate fanatics should hear of the results obtained at the experimental farm at roseville, california, by professor silas wentworth, who has found that by placing ewes in a field under the power wires of an electric wire company, the average production of lambs is more than doubled, we may anticipate trouble in many hitherto small families. their predecessors insisted, in the cause of religion and morals, on burning witches; we must not be surprised if our modern fanatics, in the same holy cause, clamour for a law compelling all childless women to live under electric wires. [ ] j. holt schooling, "the english marriage rate," _fortnightly review_, june, . [ ] g. udny yule, "changes in the marriage-and birth-rate in england," _journal of the royal statistical society_, march, . [ ] at an earlier period hooker had investigated the same subject without coming to any very decisive conclusions ("correlation of the marriage-rate with trade," _journ. statistical soc._, september, ). minor fluctuations in marriage and in trade per head, he found, tend to be in close correspondence, but on the whole trade has risen and the marriage-rate has fallen, probably, hooker believed, as the result of the gradual deferment of marriage. [ ] the higher standard need not be, among the mass of the population, of a very exalted character, although it marks a real progress. newsholme and stevenson (_op. cit._) term it a higher "standard of comfort." the decline of the birth-rate, they say, "is associated with a general raising of the standard of comfort, and is an expression of the determination of the people to secure this greater comfort." [ ] ploss, _das weib_, vol. i, chap. xx. [ ] it must not, however, be assumed that the rural immigrants are in the mass better suited to urban life than the urban natives. it is probable that, notwithstanding their energy and robustness, the immigrants are less suited to urban conditions than the natives. consequently a process of selection takes place among the immigrants, and the survivors become, as it were, immunized to the poisons of urban life. but this immunization is by no means necessarily associated with any high degree of nervous vigour or general physical development. [ ] havelock ellis, _a study of british genius_, pp. , . [ ] "national health: a soldier's study," _contemporary review_, january, . the reports of the inspector-general of recruiting are said to show that the recruits are every year smaller, lighter, and narrower-chested. [ ] this has been well illustrated during the past forty years in the flourishing county of glamorgan in wales, as is shown by dr. r.s. stewart ("the relationship of wages, lunacy, and crime in south wales," _journal of mental science_, january, ). the staple industry here is coal, per cent of the population being directly employed in coal-mining, and wages are determined by the sliding scale as it is called, according to which the selling price of coal regulates the wages. this leads to many fluctuations and sudden accesses of prosperity. it is found that whenever wages rise there is a concomitant increase of insanity and at the same time a diminished output of coal due to slacking of work when earnings are greater; there is also an increase of drunkenness and of crime. stewart concludes that it is doubtful whether increased material prosperity is conducive to improvement in physical and mental status. it must, however, be pointed out that it is a sudden and unstable prosperity, not necessarily a gradual and stable prosperity, which is hereby shown to be pernicious. [ ] the relationship is sometimes expressed by saying that the more highly differentiated the organism the fewer the offspring. according to plate we ought to say that, the greater the capacity for parental care the fewer the offspring. this, however, comes to the same thing, since it is the higher organisms which possess the increased capacity for parental care. putting it in the most generalized zoological way, diminished offspring is the response to improved environment. thus in man the decline of the birth-rate, as professor benjamin moore remarks (_british medical journal_, august , , p. ), is "the simple biological reply to good economic conditions. it is a well-known biological law that even a micro-organism, when placed in unfavourable conditions as to food and environment, passes into a reproductive phase, and by sporulation or some special type produces new individuals very rapidly. the same condition of affairs in the human race was shown even by the fact that one-half of the births come from the least favourably situated one-quarter of the population. hence, over-rapid birth-rate indicates unfavourable conditions of life, so that (so long as the population was on the increase) a lower birth-rate was a valuable indication of a better social condition of affairs, and a matter on which we should congratulate the country rather than proceed to condolences." [ ] "the accumulations of racial experience tend to show," remarks woods hutchinson ("animal marriage," _contemporary review_, october, ), "that by the production of a smaller and smaller number of offspring, and the expenditure upon those of a greater amount of parental care, better results can be obtained in efficiency and capacity for survival." [ ] toulouse, _causes de la folie_, p. ; magri, _archivio di psichiatria_, , fasc. vi-vii; havelock ellis, _a study of british genius_, pp. et seq. [ ] emile macquart, "mortalité, natalité, dépopulation," _bulletin de la société d'anthropologie_, . [ ] it is interesting to observe how lafcadio hearn, during the last years of his life, was compelled, however unwillingly, to recognize this change. see e.g. his _japan: an attempt at interpretation_, , ch. xxi, on "industrial dangers." the japanese themselves have recognized it, and it is the feeling of the decay of their ancient ideals which has given so great an impetus to new ethical movements, such as that, described as a kind of elevated materialism, established by yukichi fukuzawa (see _open court_, june, ). [ ] _athenæum_, october , . vi eugenics and love eugenics and the decline of the birth-rate--quantity and quality in the production of children--eugenic sexual selection--the value of pedigrees--their scientific significance--the systematic record of personal data--the proposal for eugenic certificates--st. valentine's day and sexual selection--love and reason--love ruled by natural law--eugenic selection not opposed to love--no need for legal compulsion--medicine in relation to marriage i during recent years the question of the future of the human race has been brought before us in a way it has never been brought before. the great expansive movement in civilized countries is over. whereas, fifty years ago, france seemed to present a striking contrast to other countries in her low and gradually falling birth-rate, to-day, though she has herself now almost reached a stationary position, france is seen merely to have been the leader in a movement which is common to all the more highly civilized nations. they are all now moving rapidly in the direction in which she moved slowly. it was inevitable that this movement, world-wide as it is, should call forth energetic protests, for there is no condition of things so bad but it finds some to advocate its perpetuation. there has, therefore, been much vigorous preaching against "race suicide" by people who were deaf to the small voice of reason, who failed to understand that this matter could not be settled by mere consideration of the crude birth-rates, and that, even if it could, we should have still to realize that, as an economist remarks, it is to the decline of the birth-rate only that we probably owe it that the modern civilized world has been saved from economic disaster.[ ] but whatever the causes of the declining birth-rate it is certain that even when they are within our control they are of far too intimate a character for the public moralist to be permitted to touch them, even though we consider them to be in a disastrous state. it has to be recognized that we are here in the presence, not of a merely local or temporary tendency which might be shaken off with an effort, but of a great fundamental law of civilization; and the fact that we encounter it in our own race merely means that we are reaching a fairly high stage of civilization. it is far from the first time, in the history of the world, that the same phenomenon has been witnessed. it was seen in imperial rome; it was seen, again, in the "protestant rome," geneva. wherever are gathered together an exceedingly fine race of people, the flower of the race, individuals of the highest mental and moral distinction, there the birth-rate falls steadily. vice or virtue alike avails nothing in this field; with high civilization fertility inevitably diminishes. ii under these circumstances it was to be expected that a new ideal should begin to flash before men's eyes. if the ideal of _quantity_ is lost to us, why not seek the ideal of _quality_? we know that the old rule: "increase and multiply" meant a vast amount of infant mortality, of starvation, of chronic disease, of widespread misery. in abandoning that rule, as we have been forced to do, are we not left free to seek that our children, though few, should be at all events fit, the finest, alike in physical and psychical constitution, that the world has seen? thus has come about the recent expansion of that conception of _eugenics_, or the science and art of good breeding in the human race, which a group of workers, pioneered by francis galton[ ]--at first in england and later in america, germany and elsewhere--have been developing for some years past. eugenics is beginning to be felt to possess a living actuality which it failed to possess before. instead of being a benevolent scientific fad it begins to present itself as the goal to which we are inevitably moving. the cause of eugenics has sometimes been prejudiced in the public mind by a comparison with the artificial breeding of domestic animals. in reality the two things are altogether different. in breeding animals a higher race of beings manipulates a lower race with the object of securing definite points that are of no use whatever to the animals themselves, but of considerable value to the breeders. in our own race, on the other hand, the problem of breeding is presented in an entirely different shape. there is as yet no race of super-men who are prepared to breed man for their own special ends. as things are, even if we had the ability and the power, we should surely hesitate before we bred men and women as we breed dogs or fowls. we may, therefore, quite put aside all discussion of eugenics as a sort of higher cattle-breeding. it would be undesirable, even if it were not impracticable. but there is another aspect of eugenics. human eugenics need not be, and is not likely to be, a cold-blooded selection of partners by some outside scientific authority. but it may be, and is very likely to be, a slowly growing conviction--first among the more intelligent members of the community and then by imitation and fashion among the less intelligent members--that our children, the future race, the torch-bearers of civilization for succeeding ages, are not the mere result of chance or providence, but that, in a very real sense, it is within our power to mould them, that the salvation or damnation of many future generations lies in our hands since it depends on our wise and sane choice of a mate. the results of the breeding of those persons who ought never to be parents is well known; the notorious case of the jukes family is but one among many instances. we could scarcely expect in any community that individuals like the jukes would take the initiative in movements for the eugenic development of the race, but it makes much difference whether such families exist in an environment like our own which is indifferent to the future of the race, or whether they are surrounded by influences of a more wholesome character which can scarcely fail to some extent to affect, and even to control, the reckless and anti-social elements in the community. in considering this question, therefore, we are justified in putting aside not only any kind of human breeding resembling the artificial breeding of animals, but also, at all events for the present, every compulsory prohibition on marriage or procreation. we must be content to concern ourselves with ideals, and with the endeavour to exert our personal influence in the realization of these ideals. iii such ideals cannot, however, be left in the air; if they depend on individual caprice nothing but fruitless confusion can come of them. they must be firmly grounded on a scientific basis of ascertained fact. this was always emphasized by galton. he not only initiated schemes for obtaining, but actually to some extent obtained, a large amount of scientific knowledge concerning the special characteristics and aptitudes of families, and his efforts in this direction have since been largely extended and elaborated.[ ] the feverish activities of modern life, and the constant vicissitudes and accidents that overtake families to-day, have led to an extraordinary indifference to family history and tradition. our forefathers, from generation to generation, carefully entered births, baptisms, marriages, and deaths in the fly-leaf of the family bible. it is largely owing to these precious entries that many are able to carry their family history several centuries further back than they otherwise could. but nowadays the family bible has for the most part ceased to exist, and nothing else has taken its place. if a man wishes to know what sort of stocks he has come from, unless he is himself an antiquarian, or in a position to employ an antiquarian to assist him, he can learn little, and in the most favourable position he is helpless without clues; though with such clues he might often learn much that would be of the greatest interest to him. the entries in the family bible, however, whatever their value as clues and even as actual data, do not furnish adequate information to serve as a guide to the different qualities of stocks; we need far more detailed and varied information in order to realize the respective values of families from the point of view of eugenics. here, again, galton had already realized the need for supplying a great defect in our knowledge, and his life-history albums showed how the necessary information may be conveniently registered. the accumulated histories of individual families, it is evident, will in time furnish a foundation on which to base scientific generalizations, and eventually, perhaps, to justify practical action. moreover, a vast amount of valuable information on which it is possible to build up a knowledge of the correlated characteristics of families, already lies at present unused in the great insurance offices and elsewhere. when it is possible to obtain a large collection of accurate pedigrees for scientific purposes, and to throw them into a properly tabulated form, we shall certainly be in a position to know more of the qualities of stocks, of their good and bad characteristics, and of the degree in which they are correlated.[ ] in this way we shall, in time, be able to obtain a clear picture of the probable results on the offspring of unions between any kind of people. from personal and ancestral data we shall be able to reckon the probable quality of the offspring of a married couple. given a man and woman of known personal qualities and of known ancestors, what are likely to be the personal qualities, physical, mental and moral, of the children? that is a question of immense importance both for the beings themselves whom we bring into the world, for the community generally, and for the future race. eventually, it seems evident, a general system, whether private or public, whereby all personal facts, biological and mental, normal and morbid, are duly and systematically registered, must become inevitable if we are to have a real guide as to those persons who are most fit, or most unfit, to carry on the race.[ ] unless they are full and frank such records are useless. but it is obvious that for a long time to come such a system of registration must be private. according to the belief which is still deeply rooted in most of us, we regard as most private those facts of our lives which are most intimately connected with the life of the race, and most fateful for the future of humanity. the feeling is no doubt inevitable; it has a certain rightness and justification. as, however, our knowledge increases we shall learn that we are, on the one hand, a little more responsible for future generations than we are accustomed to think, and, on the other hand, a little less responsible for our own good or bad qualities. our fiat makes the future man, but, in the same way, we are ourselves made by a choice and a will not our own. a man may indeed, within limits, mould himself, but the materials he can alone use were handed on to him by his parents, and whether he becomes a man of genius, a criminal, a drunkard, an epileptic, or an ordinarily healthy, well-conducted, and intelligent citizen, must depend at least as much on his parents as on his own effort or lack of effort, since even the aptitude for effective effort is largely inborn. as we learn to look on the facts from the only sound standpoint of heredity, our anger or contempt for a failing and erring individual has to give way to the kindly but firm control of a weakling. if the children's teeth have been set on edge it is because the parents have eaten sour grapes. if, however, we certainly cannot bring legal or even moral force to compel everyone to maintain such detailed registers of himself, his ancestral stocks, and his offspring--to say nothing of inducing him to make them public--there is something that we can do. we can make it to his interest to keep such a record.[ ] if it became an advantage in life to a man to possess good ancestors, and to be himself a good specimen of humanity in mind, character, and physique, we may be sure that those who are above the average in these matters will be glad to make use of that superiority. insurance offices already make an inquisition into these matters, to which no one objects, because a man only submits to it for his own advantage; while for military and some other services similar inquiries are compulsory. eugenic certificates, according to galton's proposal, would be issued by a suitably constituted authority to those candidates who chose to apply for them and were able to pass the necessary tests. such certificates would imply an inquiry and examination into the ancestry of the candidate as well as into his own constitution, health, intelligence and character; and the possession of such a certificate would involve a superiority to the average in all these respects. no one would be compelled to offer himself for such examination, just as no one is compelled to seek a university degree. but its possession would often be an advantage. there is nothing to prevent the establishment of a board of examiners of this kind to-morrow, and we may be sure that, once established, many candidates would hasten to present themselves.[ ] there are obviously many positions in life wherein a certificate of this kind of superiority would be helpful. but its chief distinction would be that its possession would be a kind of patent of natural nobility; the man or woman who held it would be one of nature's aristocrats, to whom the future of the race might be safely left without further question. iv by happy inspiration, or by chance, galton made public his programme of eugenic research, in a paper read before the sociological society, on february , the festival of st. valentine. although the ancient observances of that day have now died out, st. valentine was for many centuries the patron saint of sexual selection, more especially in england. it can scarcely be said that any credit in this matter belongs to the venerable saint himself; it was by an accident that he achieved his conspicuous position in the world. he was simply a pious christian who was beheaded for his faith in rome under claudius. but it so happened that his festival fell at that period in early spring when birds were believed to pair, and when youths and maidens were accustomed to select partners for themselves or for others. this custom--which has been studied together with many allied primitive practices by mannhardt[ ]--was not always carried out on february , sometimes it took place a little later. in england, where it was strictly associated with st. valentine's day, the custom was referred to by lydgate, and by charles of orleans in the rondeaus and ballades he wrote during his long imprisonment in england. the name valentins or valentines was also introduced into france (where the custom had long existed) to designate the young couples thus constituted. this method of sexual selection, half playful, half serious, flourished especially in the region between england, the moselle, and the tyrol. the essential part of the custom lay in the public choice of a fitting mate for marriageable girls. sometimes the question of fitness resolved itself into one of good looks; occasionally the matter was settled by lot. there was no compulsion about these unions; they were often little more than a game, though at times they involved a degree of immorality which caused the authorities to oppose them. but very frequently the sexual selection thus exerted led to weddings, and these playful valentine unions were held to be a specially favourable prelude to a happy marriage. it is scarcely necessary to show how the ancient customs associated with st. valentine's day are taken up again and placed on a higher plane by the great movement which is now beginning to shape itself among us. the old valentine unions were made by a process of caprice tempered more or less by sound instincts and good sense. in the sexual selection of the future the same results will be attained by more or less deliberate and conscious recognition of the great laws and tendencies which investigation is slowly bringing to light. the new st. valentine will be a saint of science rather than of folk-lore. whenever such statements as these are made it is always retorted that love laughs at science, and that the winds of passion blow where they list.[ ] that, however, is by no means altogether true, and in any case it is far from covering the whole of the ground. it is hard to fight against human nature, but human nature itself is opposed to indiscriminate choice of mates. it is not true that any one tends to love anybody, and that mutual attraction is entirely a matter of chance. the investigations which have lately been carried out show that there are certain definite tendencies in this matter, that certain kinds of people tend to be attracted to certain kinds, especially that like are attracted to like rather than unlike to unlike, and that, again, while some kinds of people tend to be married with special frequency other kinds tend to be left unmarried.[ ] sexual selection, even when left to random influences, is still not left to chance; it follows definite and ascertainable laws. in that way the play of love, however free it may appear, is really limited in a number of directions. people do not tend to fall in love with those who are in racial respects a contrast to themselves; they do not tend to fall in love with foreigners; they do not tend to be attracted to the ugly, the diseased, the deformed. all these things may happen, but they are the exception and not the rule. these limitations to the roving impulses of love, while very real, to some extent vary at different periods in accordance with the ideals which happen to be fashionable. in more remote ages they have been still more profoundly modified by religious and social ideas; polygamy and polyandry, the custom of marrying only inside one's own caste, or only outside it, all these various and contradictory plans have been easily accepted at some place and some time, and have offered no more conscious obstacle to the free play of love than among ourselves is offered by the prohibition against marriage between near relations. those simple-minded people who talk about the blind and irresistible force of passion are themselves blind to very ordinary psychological facts. passion--when it occurs--requires in normal persons cumulative and prolonged forces to impart to it full momentum.[ ] in its early stages it is under the control of many influences, including influences of reason. if it were not so there could be no sexual selection, nor any social organization.[ ] the eugenic ideal which is now developing is thus not an artificial product, but the reasoned manifestation of a natural instinct, which has often been far more severely strained by the arbitrary prohibitions of the past than it is ever likely to be by any eugenic ideals of the future. the new ideal will be absorbed into the conscience of the community, whether or not like a kind of new religion,[ ] and will instinctively and unconsciously influence the impulses of men and women. it will do all this the more surely since, unlike the taboos of savage societies, the eugenic ideal will lead men and women to reject as partners only the men and women who are naturally unfit--the diseased, the abnormal, the weaklings--and conscience will thus be on the side of impulse. it may indeed be pointed out that those who advocate a higher and more scientific conscience in matters of mating are by no means plotting against love, which is for the most part on their side, but rather against the influences that do violence to love: on the one hand, the reckless and thoughtless yielding to mere momentary desire, and, on the other hand, the still more fatal influences of wealth and position and worldly convenience which give a factitious value to persons who would never appear attractive partners in life were love and eugenic ideals left to go hand in hand. it is such unions, and not those inspired by the wholesome instincts of wholesome lovers, which lead, if not to the abstract "deterioration of the race," at all events in numberless cases to the abiding unhappiness of persons who choose a mate without realizing how that mate is likely to develop, nor what sort of children may probably be expected from the union. the eugenic ideal will have to struggle with the criminal and still more resolutely with the rich; it will have few serious quarrels with normal and well constituted lovers. it will now perhaps be clear how it is that the eugenic conception of the improvement of the race embodies a new ideal. we are familiar with legislative projects for compulsory certificates as a condition of marriage. but even apart from all the other considerations which make such schemes both illusory and undesirable, these externally imposed regulations fail to go to the root of the matter. if they are voluntary, if they spring out of a fine eugenic aspiration, it is another matter. under these conditions the method may be carried out at once. professor grasset has pointed out one way in which this may be effected. we cannot, he remarks, follow the procedure of a military _conseil de revision_ and compulsorily reject the candidate for a definite defect. but it would be possible for the two families concerned to call a conference of their two family doctors, after examination of the would-be bride and bridegroom, permitting the doctors to discuss freely the medical aspects of the proposed union, and undertaking to accept their decision, without asking for the revelation of any secrets, the families thus remaining ignorant of the defect which prevented this union but might not prevent another union, for the chief danger in many cases comes from the conjunction of convergent morbid tendencies.[ ] in france, where much power remains with the respective families, this method might be operative, provided complete confidence was felt in the doctors concerned. in some countries, such as england, the prospective couple might prefer to take the matter into their own hands, to discuss it frankly, and to seek medical advice on their own account; this is now much more frequently done than was formerly the case. but all compulsory projects of this kind, and indeed any mere legislation, cannot go to the root of the matter. for in the first place, what we need is a great body of facts, and a careful attention to the record and registration and statistical tabulation of personal and family histories. in the second place, we need that sound ideals and a high sense of responsibility should permeate the whole community, first its finer and more distinguished members and then, by the usual contagion that rules in such matters, the whole body of its members.[ ] in time, no doubt, this would lead to concerted social action. we may reasonably expect that a time will come when if, for instance, an epileptic woman conceals her condition from the man she is marrying it would generally be felt that an offence has been committed serious enough to invalidate the marriage. we must not suppose that lovers would be either willing or competent to investigate each other's family and medical histories. but it would be at least as easy and as simple to choose a partner from those persons who had successfully passed the eugenic test--more especially since such persons would certainly be the most attractive group in the community--as it is for an australian aborigine to select a conjugal partner from one social group rather than from any other.[ ] it is a matter of accepting an ideal and of exerting our personal and social influence in the direction of that ideal. if we really seek to raise the level of humanity we may in this way begin to do so to-day. note on the life-history record the extreme interest of a life-history record is obvious, even apart from its eventual scientific value. most of us would have reason to congratulate ourselves had such records been customary when we were ourselves children. it is probable that this is becoming more generally realized, though until recently only the pioneers have here been active. "i started a life-history album for each of my children," writes mr. f.h. perrycoste in a private letter, "as soon as they were born; and by the time they arrive at man's and woman's estate they will have valuable records of their own physical, mental, and moral development, which should be of great service to them when they come to have children of their own, whilst the physical--in which are included, of course, medical--records may at any time be of great value to their own medical advisers in later life. i have reason to regret that some such albums were not kept for my wife and myself, for they would have afforded the necessary data by which to 'size up' the abilities and conduct of our children. i know, for instance, pretty well what was my own galtonian rank as a schoolboy, and i am constantly asking myself whether my boy will do as well, better, or worse. now fortunately i do happen to remember roughly what stages i had reached at one or two transition periods of school-life; but if only such an album had been kept for me, i could turn it up and check my boy against myself in each subject at each yearly stage. you will gather from this that i consider it of great importance that ample details of school-work and intellectual development should be entered in the album. i find the space at my disposal for these entries insufficient, and consequently i summarize in the album and insert a reference to sheets of fuller details which i keep; but it might be well, when another edition of the album comes to be published, to agitate for the insertion of extra blank pages after the age of eight or nine, in order to allow of the transcription of full school-reports. however, the great thing is to induce people to keep an album that will form the nucleus round which any number of fuller records can cluster." it is not necessary that the galtonian type of album should be rigidly preserved, and i am indebted to "henry hamill," the author of _the truth we owe to youth_, for the following suggestions as to the way in which such a record may be carried out: "the book should not be a mere dry rigmarole, but include a certain appeal to sentiment. the subject should begin to make the entries himself when old enough to do so properly, i.e. so that the book will not be disfigured--though indeed the naivity of juvenile phrasing, etc., may be of a particular interest. from a graphological point of view, the evolution of the handwriting will be of interest; and if for no other reason, specimens of handwriting ought to appear in it from year to year, while the parent is still writing the other entries. there may now be a certain sacramental character in the life-history. the subject should be led to regard the book as a witness, and to perceive in it an additional reason for avoiding every act the mention of which would be a disfigurement of the history. at the same time, the nature of the witness may be made to correct the wrong notions prevailing as to the worthiness of acts, and to sanctify certain of them that have been foolishly degraded. thus there may be left several leaves blank before the pages of forms for filling in anthropometric and physiological data, and the headings may be made to suggest a worthier way of viewing these things. for instance, there may be the indication 'place and time of conception,' and a specimen entry may be of service to lead commonplace minds into a more reverent and poetical view than is now usual--such as the one i culled from the life-history of an american child: 'our second child m---- was conceived on midsummer day, under the shade of a friendly sycamore, beneath the cloudless blue of southern california.' or, instead of restricting the reference to the particular episode, it may refer to the whole chapter of love which that episode adorned, more especially in the case of a first child, when a poetical history of the mating of the parents may precede. the presence of the idea that the book would some day be read by others than the intimate circle, would restrain the tendency of some persons to inordinate self-revelation and 'gush.' such books as these would form the dearest heirlooms of a family, helping to knit its bonds firmer, and giving an insight into individual character which would supplement the more tangible data for the pedigree in a most valuable way. the photographs taken every three months or so ought to be as largely as possible nude. the gradual transition from childhood would help to prevent an abrupt feeling arising, and the practice would be a valuable aid to the rehabilitation of the nude, and of genuineness in our daily life, no matter in what respect. this leads to the difficult question of how far moral aspects should be entertained. 'to-day johnnie told his first fib; we pretended to disbelieve everything else he said, and he began to see that lying was bad policy.' 'chastised johnnie for the first time for pulling the wings off a fly; he wanted to know why we might kill flies outright, but not mutilate them,' and so on. for in this way parents would train themselves in the psychology of education and character-building, though books by specially gifted parents would soon appear for their guidance. "of course, whatever relevant circumstances were available about the ante-natal period or the mother's condition would be noted (but who would expect a mother to note that she laced tight up to such and such a month? perhaps the keeping of a log like this might act as a deterrent). similarly, under diet and regimen, year by year, the assumption of breast-feeding--provision of columns for the various incidents of it--weight before and after feeding, etc., would have a great suggestive value. "the provision under diet and regimen of columns for 'drug habits, if any'--tea, coffee, alcohol, nicotine, morphia, etc.--would have a suggestive value and operate in the direction of the simple life and a reverence for the body. some good aphorisms might be strewed in, such as: "'if anything is sacred, the human body is sacred' (whitman). "as young people circulate their 'books of likes and dislikes,' etc., and thus in an entertaining way provide each other with insight into mutual character, so the life-history need not be an _arcanum_--at least where people have nothing to be ashamed of. it would be a very trying ordeal, no doubt, to admit even intimate friends to this confidence. _but as eugenics spread, concealment of taint will become almost impracticable_, and the facts may as well be confessed. but even then there will be limitations. there might be an esoteric book for the individual's own account of himself. such important items as the incidence of puberty (though notorious in some communities) could not well be included in a book open even to the family circle, for generations to come. the quiescence of the genital sense, the sedatives naturally occurring, important as these are, and occupying the consciousness in so large a degree, would find no place; nevertheless, a private journal of the facts would help to steady the individual, and prove a check against disrespect to his body. "as the facts of individual evolution would be noted, so likewise would those of dissolution. the first signs of decay--the teeth, the elasticity of body and mind--would provide a valuable sphere for all who are disposed to the diary-habit. the journals of individuals with a gift for introspection would furnish valuable material for psychologists in the future. life would be cleansed in many ways. journals would not have to be bowdlerized, like marie bashkirtseff's, for the morbidity that gloats on the forbidden would have a lesser scope, much that is now regarded as disgraceful being then accepted as natural and right. "the book might have several volumes, and that for the periods of infancy and childhood might need to be less private than the one for puberty. more, in his _utopia_, demands that lovers shall learn to know each other as they really are, i.e. naked. that is now the most utopian thing in more's _utopia_. but the lovers might communicate their life-histories to each other as a preliminary. "the whole plan would, of course, finally have to be over-hauled by the so-called 'man of the world.'" not everyone may agree with this conception of the life-history album and its uses. some will prefer a severely dry and bald record of measurements. at the present time, however, there is room for very various types of such documents. the important point is to realize that, in some form or another, a record of this kind from birth or earlier is practicable, and constitutes a record which is highly desirable alike on personal, social, and scientific grounds. footnotes: [ ] dr. scott nearing, "race suicide _versus_ over-population," _popular science monthly_, january, . and from the biological side professor bateson concludes (_biological fact and the structure of society_, p. ) that "it is in a decline in the birth-rate that the most promising omen exists for the happiness of future generations." [ ] galton himself, the grandson of erasmus darwin, and the half-cousin of charles darwin, may be said to furnish a noble illustration of an unconscious process of eugenics. (he has set forth his ancestry in _memories of my life_.) on his death, the editor of the _popular science monthly_ wrote, referring to the fact that galton was nominated to succeed william james in the honorary membership of an academy of science: "these two men are the greatest whom he has known. james possessed the more complicated personality; but they had certain common traits--a combination of perfect aristocracy with complete democracy, directness, kindliness, generosity, and nobility beyond all measure. it has been said that eugenics is futile because it cannot define its end. the answer is simple--we want men like william james and francis galton" (_popular science monthly_, _march_, .) probably most of those who were brought, however slightly, in contact with these two fine personalities will subscribe to this conclusion. [ ] galton chiefly studied the families to which men of intellectual ability belong, especially in his _hereditary genius_ and _english men of science_; various kinds of pathological families have since been investigated by karl pearson and his co-workers (see the series of _biometrika_); the pedigrees of the defective classes (especially the feeble-minded and epileptic) are now being accurately worked out, as by godden, at vineland, new jersey, and davenport, in new york (see e.g. _eugenics review_, april, , and _journal of nervous and mental disease_, november, ). [ ] "when once more the importance of good birth comes to be recognized in a new sense," wrote w.c.d. whetham and mrs. whetham (in _the family and the nation_, p. ), "when the innate physical and mental qualities of different families are recorded in the central sociological department or scientifically reformed college of arms, the pedigrees of all will be known to be of supreme interest. it would be understood to be more important to marry into a family with a good hereditary record of physical and mental and moral qualities than it ever has been considered to be allied to one with sixteen quarterings." [ ] the importance of such biographical records of aptitude and character are so great that some, like schallmayer (_vererbung und auslese_, nd ed., , p. ) believe that they must be made universally obligatory. this proposal, however, seems premature. [ ] in many undesigned and unforeseen ways these registers may be of immense value. they may even prove the means of overthrowing our pernicious and destructive system of so-called "education." a step in this direction has been suggested by mr. r.t. bodey, inspector of elementary schools, at a meeting of the liverpool branch of the eugenics education society: "education facilities should be carefully distributed with regard to the scientific likelihood of their utilization to the maximum of national advantage, and this not for economic reasons only, but because it was cruel to drag children from their own to a different sphere of life, and cruel to the class they deserted. since the activities of the nation and the powers of the children were alike varied in kind and degree, the most natural plan would be to sort them both out, and then design a school system expressly in order to fit one to the other. at present there was no fixed purpose, but a perpetual riot of changes, resulting in distraction of mind, discontinuity of purpose, and increase of cost, while happiness decayed because desires grew faster than possessions or the sense of achievement. the only really scientific basis for a national system of education would be a full knowledge of the family history of each child. with more perfect classification of family talent the need of scholarships of transplantation would become less, for each of them was the confession of an initial error in placing the child. then there would be more money to be spared for industrial research, travelling and art studentships, and other aids to those who had the rare gift of original thought" (_british medical journal_, november , ). [ ] i should add that there is one obstacle, viz. expense. when the present chapter was first published in its preliminary form as an article in the _nineteenth century and after_ (may, ), galton, always alive to everything bearing on the study of eugenics, wrote to me that he had been impressed by the generally sympathetic reception my paper had received, and that he felt encouraged to consider whether it was possible to begin giving such certificates at once. he asked for my views, among others, as to the ground which should be covered by such certificates. the programme i set forth was somewhat extensive, as i considered that the applicant must not only bring evidence of a sound ancestry, but also submit to anthropological, psychological, and medical examination. galton eventually came to the conclusion that the expenses involved by the scheme rendered it for the present impracticable. my opinion was, and is, that though the charge for such a certificate might in the first place be prohibitive for most people, a few persons might find it desirable to seek, and advantageous to possess, such certificates, and that it is worth while at all events to make a beginning. [ ] mannhardt, _wald-und feldkulte_, , vol. i, pp. _et seq._ i have discussed seasonal erotic festivals in a study of "the phenomena of sexual periodicity," _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. i. [ ] thus we read in a small popular periodical: "i am prepared to back human nature against all the cranks in christendom. human nature will endure a faddist so long as he does not interfere with things it prizes. one of these things is the right to select its partner for life. if a man loves a girl he is not going to give her up because she happens to have an aunt in a lunatic asylum or an uncle who has epileptic fits," etc. in the same way it may be said that a man will allow nothing to interfere with his right to eat such food as he chooses, and is not going to give up a dish he likes because it happens to be peppered with arsenic. it may be so, let us grant, among savages. the growth of civilization lies in ever-extended self-control guided by foresight. [ ] i have summarized some of the evidence on these points, especially that showing that sexual attraction tends to be towards like persons and not, as was formerly supposed, towards the unlike, in _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. iv, "sexual selection in man." [ ] in other words, the process of tumescence is gradual and complex. see havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. iii, "the analysis of the sexual impulse." [ ] as roswell johnson remarks ("the evolution of man and its control," _popular science monthly_, january, ): "while it is undeniable that love when once established defies rational considerations, yet we must remark that sexual selection proceeds usually through two stages, the first being one of mere mutual attraction and interest. it is in this stage that the will and reason are operative, and here alone that any considerable elevation of standard may be effective." [ ] galton looked upon eugenics as fitted to become a factor in religion (_essays in eugenics_, p. ). it may, however, be questioned whether this consummation is either probable or desirable. the same religious claim has been made for socialism. but, as dr. eden paul remarks in a recent pamphlet on _socialism and eugenics_, "whereas both socialism and eugenics are concerned solely with the application of the knowledge gained by experience to the amelioration of the human lot, it seems preferable to dispense with religious terminology, and to regard the two doctrines as complementary parts of the great modern movement known by the name of humanism." personally, i do not consider that either socialism or eugenics can be regarded as coming within the legitimate sphere of religion, which i have elsewhere attempted to define (conclusion to _the new spirit_). [ ] j. grasset, in dr. a. marie's _traité international de psychologie pathologique_, , vol. i, p. . grasset proceeds to discuss the principles which must guide the physician in such consultations. [ ] this has been clearly realized by the german society of eugenics or "racial hygiene," as it is usually termed in germany (internationale gesellschaft für rassen-hygiene), founded by dr. alfred ploetz, with the co-operation of many distinguished physicians and men of science, "to further the theory and practice of racial hygiene." it is a chief aim of this society to encourage the registration by the members of the biological and other physical and psychic characteristics of themselves and their families, in order to obtain a body of data on which conclusions may eventually be based; the members undertake not to enter on a marriage except they are assured by medical investigation of both parties that the union is not likely to cause disaster to either partner or to the offspring. the society also admits associates who only occupy themselves with the scientific aspects of its work and with propaganda. in england the eugenics education society (with its organ the _eugenics review_) has done much to stimulate an intelligent interest in eugenics. [ ] how influential public opinion may be in the selection of mates is indicated by the influence it already exerts--in less than a century--in the limitation of offspring. this is well marked in some parts of france. thus, concerning a rural district near the garonne, dr. belbèze, who knows it thoroughly, writes (_la neurasthénie rurale_, ): "public opinion does not at present approve of multiple procreation. large families, there can be no doubt, are treated with contempt. couples who produce a numerous progeny are looked on, with a wink, as 'maladroits,' which in this region is perhaps the supreme term of abuse.... public opinion is all-powerful, and alone suffices to produce restraint, when foresight is not adequate for this purpose." vii religion and the child religious education in relation to social hygiene and to psychology--the psychology of the child--the contents of children's minds--the imagination of children--how far may religion be assimilated by children?--unfortunate results of early religious instruction--puberty the age for religious education--religion as an initiation into a mystery--initiation among savages--the christian sacraments--the modern tendency as regards religious instruction--its advantages--children and fairy tales--the bible of childhood--moral training. it is a fact as strange as it is unfortunate that the much-debated question of the religious education of children is almost exclusively considered from the points of view of the sectarian and the secularist. in a discussion of this question we are almost certain to be invited to take part in an unedifying wrangle between church and chapel, between religion and secularism. that is the strange part of it, that it should seem impossible to get away from this sectarian dispute as to the abstract claims of varying religious bodies. the unfortunate part of it is that in this quarrel the interests of the community, the interests of the child, even the interests of religion are alike disregarded. if we really desire to reach a sound conclusion on a matter which is unquestionably of great moment, both for the child and for the community of which he will one day become a citizen, we must resolutely put into the background, as of secondary importance, the cries of contending sects, religious or irreligious. the first place here belongs to the psychologist, who is building up the already extensive edifice of knowledge concerning the real nature of the child and the contents and growth of the youthful mind, and to the practical teacher who is in touch with that knowledge and can bring it to the test of actual experience. before considering what drugs are to be administered we must consider the nature of the organism they are to be thrust into. the mind of the child is at once logical and extravagant, matter-of-fact and poetic or rather mytho-poeic. this combination of apparent opposites, though it often seems almost incomprehensible to the adult, is the inevitable outcome of the fact that the child's dawning intelligence is working, as it were, in a vacuum. in other words, the child has not acquired the two endowments which chiefly give character to the whole body of the adult's beliefs and feelings. he is without the pubertal expansion which fills out the mind with new personal and altruistic impulses and transforms it with emotion that is often dazzling and sometimes distorting; and he has not yet absorbed, or even gained the power of absorbing, all those beliefs, opinions, and mental attitudes which the race has slowly acquired and transmitted as the traditional outcome of its experiences. the intellectual processes of children, the attitude and contents of the child's mind, have been explored during recent years with a care and detail that have never been brought to that study before. this is not a matter of which the adult can be said to possess any instinctive or matter-of-course knowledge. adults usually have a strange aptitude to forget entirely the facts of their lives as children, and children are usually, like peoples of primitive race, very cautious in the deliberate communication of their mental operations, their emotions, and their ideas. that is to say that the child is equally without the internally acquired complex emotional nature which has its kernel in the sexual impulse, and without the externally acquired mental equipment which may be summed up in the word tradition. but he possesses the vivid activities founded on the exercise of his senses and appetites, and he is able to reason with a relentless severity from which the traditionalized and complexly emotional adult shrinks back with horror. the child creates the world for himself, and he creates it in his own image and the images of the persons he is familiar with. nothing is sacred to him, and he pushes to the most daring extremities--as it seems to the adult--the arguments derived from his own personal experiences. he is unable to see any distinction between the natural and the supernatural, and he is justified in this conviction because, as a matter of fact, he himself lives in what for most adults would be a supernatural atmosphere; most children see visions with closed and sometimes with open eyes;[ ] they are not infrequently subject to colour-hearing and other synæsthetic sensations; and they occasionally hear hallucinatory voices. it is possible, indeed, that this is the case with all children in some slight degree, although the faculty dies out early and is easily forgotten because its extraordinary character was never recognized. of boston children, says stanley hall,[ ] believed the sun, moon, and stars to live, thought flowers could feel, and that dolls would feel pain if burnt. the sky was found the chief field in which the children exercise their philosophic minds. about three-quarters of them thought the world a plain with the sky like a bowl turned over it, sometimes believing that it was of such thin texture that one could easily break through, though so large that much floor-sweeping was necessary in heaven. the sun may enter the ground when it sets, but half the children thought that at night it rolls or flies away, or is blown or walks, or god pulls it higher up out of sight, taking it up into heaven, according to some putting it to bed, and even taking off its clothes and putting them on again in the morning, or again, it is believed to lie under the trees at night and the angels mind it. god, of whom the children always hear so much, plays a very large part in these conceptions, and is made directly responsible for all cosmic phenomena. thus thunder to these american children was god groaning or kicking or rolling barrels about, or turning a big handle, or grinding snow, or breaking something, or rattling a big hammer; while the lightning is due to god putting his finger out, or turning the gas on quick, or striking matches, or setting paper on fire. according to boston children, god is a big, perhaps a blue, man, to be seen in the sky, on the clouds, in church, or even in the streets. they declare that god comes to see them sometimes, and they have seen him enter the gate. he makes lamps, babies, dogs, trees, money, etc., and the angels work for him. he looks like a priest, or a teacher, or papa, and the children like to look at him; a few would themselves like to be god. his house in the sky may be made of stone or brick; birds, children, and santa claus live with god. birds and beasts, their food and their furniture, as burnham points out, all talk to children; when the dew is on the grass "the grass is crying," the stars are candles or lamps, perhaps cinders from god's stove, butterflies are flying pansies, icicles are christmas candy. children have imaginary play-brothers and sisters and friends, with whom they talk. sometimes god talks with them. even the prosiest things are vivified; the tracks of dirty feet on the floor are flowers; a creaking chair talks; the shoemaker's nails are children whom he is driving to school; a pedlar is santa claus. miss miriam levy once investigated the opinions of children, boys and girls, between the ages of and , as to how the man in the moon got there. only were unable to offer a serious explanation; thought there was no man there at all; offered a scientific explanation of the phenomena; but all the rest, the great majority, presented imaginative solutions which could be grouped into seventeen different classes. such facts as these--which can easily be multiplied and are indeed familiar to all, though their significance is not usually realized--indicate the special tendencies of the child in the religious sphere. he is unable to follow the distinctions which the adult is pleased to make between "real," "spiritual" and "imaginary" beings. to him such distinctions do not exist. he may, if he so pleases, adopt the names or such characteristics as he chooses, of the beings he is told about, but he puts them into his own world, on a footing of more or less equality, and he decides himself what their fate is to be. the adult's supreme beings by no means always survive in the struggle for existence which takes place in the child's imaginative world. it was found among many thousand children entering the city schools of berlin that red riding hood was better known than god, and cinderella than christ. that is the result of the child's freedom from the burden of tradition. yet at the same time the opposite though allied peculiarity of childhood--the absence of the emotional developments of puberty which deepen and often cloud the mind a few years later--is also making itself felt. extravagant as his beliefs may appear, the child is an uncompromising rationalist and realist. his supposed imaginativeness is indeed merely the result of his logical insistence that all the new phenomena presented to him shall be thought of in terms of himself and his own environment. his wildest notions are based on precise, concrete, and personal facts of his own experience. that is why he is so keen a questioner of grown-up people's ideas, and a critic who may sometimes be as dangerous and destructive as bishop colenso's zulus. most children before the age of thirteen, as earl barnes states, are inquirers, if not sceptics. if we clearly realize these characteristics of the childish mind, we cannot fail to understand the impression made on it by religious instruction. the statements and stories that are repeated to him are easily accepted by the child in so far, and in so far only, as they answer to his needs; and when accepted they are assimilated, which means that they are compelled to obey the laws of his own mental world. in so far as the statements and stories presented to him are not acceptable or cannot be assimilated, it happens either that they pass by him unnoticed, or else that he subjects them to a cold and matter-of-fact logic which exerts a dissolving influence upon them. now a few of the ideas of religion are assimilable by the child, and notably the idea of a god as the direct agent in cosmic phenomena; some of the childish notions i have quoted illustrate the facility with which the child adopts this idea. he adopts, that is, what may be called the hard precise skeleton of the idea, and imagines a colossal magician, of anthropomorphic (if not paidomorphic) nature, whose operations are curious, though they altogether fail to arouse any mysterious reverence or awe for the agent. even this is not very satisfactory, and stanley hall, in the spirit of froebel, considers that the best result is attained when the child knows no god but his own mother.[ ] but for the most part the ideas of religion cannot be accepted or assimilated by children at all; they were not made by children or for children, but represent the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of men, and sometimes even of very exceptional and abnormal men. "the child," it has been said, "no doubt has the psychical elements out of which the religious experience is evolved, just as the seed has the promise of the fruit which will come in the fullness of time. but to say, therefore, that the average child is religious, or capable of receiving the usual advanced religious instruction, is equivalent to saying that the seed is the fruit or capable of being converted into fruit before the fullness of time."[ ] the child who grows devout and becomes anxious about the state of his soul is a morbid and unwholesome child; if he prefers praying for the conversion of his play-fellows to joining them in their games he is not so much an example of piety as a pathological case whose future must be viewed with anxiety; and to preach religious duties to children is exactly the same, it has been well said, as to exhort them to imagine themselves married people and to inculcate on them the duties of that relation. fortunately the normal child is usually able to resist these influences. it is the healthy child's impulse either to let them fall with indifference or to apply to them the instrument of his unmerciful logic. naturally, the adult, in self-defence, is compelled to react against this indifferent or aggressive attitude of the child. he may be no match for the child in logic, and even unspeakably shocked by his daring inquiries, like an amiable old clergyman i knew when a public school teacher in australia; he went to a school to give bible lessons, and was one day explaining how king david was a man after god's own heart, when a small voice was heard making inquiries about uriah's wife; the small boy was hushed down by the shocked clergyman, and the cause of religion was not furthered in that school. but the adult knows that he has on his side tradition which has not yet been acquired by the child, and the inner emotional expansion which still remains unliberated in the child. the adult, therefore, fortified by this superiority, feels justified in falling back on the weapon of authority: "you may not _want_ to believe this and to learn it, but you've _got_ to." it is in this way that the adult wins the battle of religious education. in the deeper and more far-seeing sense he has lost it. religion has become, not a charming privilege, but a lesson, a lesson about unbelievable things, a meaningless task to be learnt by heart, a drudgery. it may be said that even if that is so, religious lessons merely share the inevitable fate of all subjects which become school tasks. but that is not the case. every other subject which is likely to become a school task is apt to become intelligible and attractive to some considerable section of the scholars because it is within the range of childish intelligence. but, for the two very definite reasons i have pointed out, this is only to an extremely limited degree true as regards the subject of religion, because the young organism is an instrument not as yet fitted with the notes which religion is most apt to strike. of all the school subjects religion thus tends to be the least attractive. lobsien, at kiel, found a few years since, in the course of a psychological investigation, that when five hundred children (boys and girls in equal numbers), between the ages of nine and fourteen, were asked which was their favourite lesson hour, only twelve (ten girls and two boys) named the religious lesson.[ ] in other words, nearly per cent children (and nearly all the boys) find that religion is either an indifferent or a repugnant subject. i have no reports at hand as regards english children, but there is little reason to suppose that the result would be widely different.[ ] here and there a specially skilful teacher might bring about a result more favourable to religious teaching, but that could only be done by depriving the subject of its most characteristic elements. this is, however, not by any means the whole of the mischief which, from the religious point of view, is thus perpetrated. it might, on _a priori_ grounds, be plausibly argued that even if there is among healthy young children a certain amount of indifference or even repugnance to religious instruction, that is of very little consequence: they cannot be too early grounded in the principles of the faith they will later be called on to profess; and however incapable they may now be of understanding the teaching that is being inculcated in the school, they will realize its importance when their knowledge and experience increase. but however plausible this may seem, practically it is not what usually happens. the usual effect of constantly imparting to children an instruction they are not yet ready to receive is to deaden their sensibilities to the whole subject of religion.[ ] the premature familiarity with religious influences--putting aside the rare cases where it leads to a morbid pre-occupation with religion--induces a reaction of routine which becomes so habitual that it successfully withstands the later influences which on more virgin soil would have evoked vigorous and living response. so far from preparing the way for a more genuine development of religious impulse later on, this precocious scriptural instruction is just adequate to act as an inoculation against deeper and more serious religious interests. the commonplace child in later life accepts the religion it has been inured to so early as part of the conventional routine of life. the more vigorous and original child for the same reason shakes it off, perhaps for ever. luther, feeling the need to gain converts to protestantism as early as possible, was a strong advocate for the religious training of children, and has doubtless had much influence in this matter on the protestant churches. "the study of religion, of the bible and the catechism," says fiedler, "of course comes first and foremost in his scheme of instruction." he was also quite prepared to adapt it to the childish mind. "let children be taught," he writes, "that our dear lord sits in heaven on a golden throne, that he has a long grey beard and a crown of gold." but luther quite failed to realize the inevitable psychological reaction in later life against such fairy-tales. at a later date, rousseau, who, like luther, was on the side of religion, realized, as luther failed to realize, the disastrous results of attempting to teach it to children. in _la nouvelle héloïse_, saint-preux writes that julie had explained to him how she sought to surround her children with good influences without forcing any religious instruction on them: "as to the catechism, they don't so much as know what it is." "what! julie, your children don't learn their catechism?" "no, my friend, my children don't learn their catechism." "so pious a mother!" i exclaimed; "i can't understand. and why don't your children learn their catechism?" "in order that they may one day believe it. i wish to make christians of them."[ ] since rousseau's day this may be said to be the general attitude of nearly all thinkers who have given attention to the question, even though they may not have viewed it psychologically. it is an attitude by no means confined to those who are anxious that children should grow up to be genuine christians, but is common to all who consider that the main point is that children should grow up to be, at all events, genuine men and women. "i do not think," writes john stuart mill, in , "there should be any _authoritative_ teaching at all on such subjects. i think parents ought to point out to their children, when the children begin to question them or to make observations of their own, the various opinions on such subjects, and what the parents themselves think the most powerful reasons for and against. then, if the parents show a strong feeling of the importance of truth, and also of the difficulty of attaining it, it seems to me that young people's minds will be sufficiently prepared to regard popular opinion or the opinion of those about them with respectful tolerance, and may be safely left to form definite conclusions in the course of mature life."[ ] there are few among us who have not suffered from too early familiarity with the bible and the conceptions of religion. even for a man of really strong and independent intellect it may be many years before the precociously dulled feelings become fresh again, before the fetters of routine fall off, and he is enabled at last to approach the bible with fresh receptivity and to realize, for the first time in his life, the treasures of art and beauty and divine wisdom it contains. but for most that moment never comes round. for the majority the religious education of the school as effectually seals the bible for life as the classical education of the college seals the great authors of greece and rome for life; no man opens his school books again when he has once left school. those who read greek and latin for love have not usually come out of universities, and there is surely a certain significance in the fact that the children of one's secularist friends are so often found to become devout church-goers, while, according to the frequent observation, devout parents often have most irreligious offspring, just as the bad boys at school and college are frequently sons of the clergy. at puberty and during adolescence everything begins to be changed. the change, it is important to remember, is a natural change, and tends to come about spontaneously; "where no set forms have been urged, the religious emotion," as lancaster puts it, "comes forth as naturally as the sun rises."[ ] that period, really and psychologically, marks a "new birth." emotions which are of fundamental importance, not only for the individual's personal life but for his social and even cosmic relationships, are for the first time born. not only is the child's body remoulded in the form of a man or a woman, but the child-soul becomes a man-soul or a woman-soul, and nothing can possibly be as it has been before. the daringly sceptical logician has gone, and so has the imaginative dreamer for whom the world was the automatic magnifying mirror of his own childish form and environment. it has been revealed to him that there are independent personal and impersonal forces outside himself, forces with which he may come into a conscious and fascinatingly exciting relationship. it is a revelation of supreme importance, and with it comes not only the complexly emotional and intellectual realization of personality, but the aptitude to enter into and assimilate the traditions of the race. it cannot be too strongly emphasized that this is the moment, and the earliest moment, when it becomes desirable to initiate the boy or girl into the mysteries of religion. that it is the best moment is indicated by the well-recognized fact that the immediately post-pubertal period of adolescence is the period during which, even spontaneously, the most marked religious phenomena tend to occur.[ ] stanley hall seems to think that twelve is the age at which the cultivation of the religious consciousness may begin; "the age, signalized by the ancient greeks as that at which the study of what was comprehensively called music should begin, the age at which roman guardianship ended, at which boys are confirmed in the modern greek, catholic, lutheran and episcopal churches, and at which the child jesus entered the temple, is as early as any child ought consciously to go about his heavenly father's business."[ ] but i doubt whether we can fix the age definitely by years, nor is it indeed quite accurate to assert that so early an age as twelve is generally accepted as the age of initiation; the anglican church, for example, usually confirms at the age of fifteen. it is not age with which we ought to be concerned, but a biological epoch of psychic evolution. it is unwise to insist on any particular age, because development takes place within a considerably wide limit of years. i have spoken of the introduction to religion at puberty as the initiation into a mystery. the phrase was deliberately chosen, for it seems to me to be not a metaphor, but the expression of a truth which has always been understood whenever religion has been a reality and not a mere convention. among savages in nearly all parts of the world the boy or girl at puberty is initiated into the mystery of manhood or of womanhood, into the duties and the privileges of the adult members of the tribe. the youth is taken into a solitary place, for a month or more, he is made to suffer pain and hardship, to learn self-restraint, he is taught the lore of the tribe as well as the elementary rules of morality and justice; he is shown the secret things of the tribe and their meaning and significance, which no stranger may know. he is, in short, enabled to find his soul, and he emerges from this discipline a trained and responsible member of his tribe. the girl receives a corresponding training, suited to her sex, also in solitude, at the hands of the older women. a clear and full description of a typical savage initiation into manhood at puberty is presented by dr. haddon in the fifth volume of the _reports of the cambridge anthropological expedition to torres straits_, and dr. haddon makes the comment: "it is not easy to conceive of more effectual means for a rapid training." the ideas of remote savages concerning the proper manner of initiating youth in the religious and other mysteries of life may seem of little personal assistance to superiorly civilized people like ourselves. but let us turn, therefore, to the greeks. they also had preserved the idea and the practice of initiation into sacred mysteries, though in a somewhat modified form because religion had ceased to be so intimately blended with all the activities of life. the eleusinian and other mysteries were initiations into sacred knowledge and insight which, as is now recognized, involved no revelation of obscure secrets, but were mysteries in the sense that all intimate experiences of the soul, the experiences of love quite as much as those of religion, are mysteries, not to be lightly or publicly spoken of. in that feeling the greek was at one with the papuan, and it is interesting to observe that the procedure of initiation into the greek mysteries, as described by theon of smyrna and other writers, followed the same course as the pubertal initiations of savages; there was the same preliminary purification by water, the same element of doctrinal teaching, the same ceremonial and symbolic rubbing with sand or charcoal or clay, the same conclusion in a joyous feast, even the same custom of wearing wreaths. in how far the christian sacraments were consciously moulded after the model of the greek mysteries is still a disputed point;[ ] but the first christians were seeking the same spiritual initiation, and they necessarily adopted, consciously or unconsciously, methods of procedure which, in essentials, were fundamentally the same as those they were already familiar with. the early christian church adopted the rite of baptism not merely as a symbol of initiation, but as an actual component part of a process of initiation; the purifying ceremony was preceded by long preparation, and when at last completed the baptized were sometimes crowned with garlands. when at a later period in the history of the church the physical part of the initiation was divorced from the spiritual part, and baptism was performed in infancy and confirmation at puberty, a fatal mistake was made, and each part of the rite largely lost its real significance. but it still remains true that christianity embodied in its practical system the ancient custom of initiating the young at puberty, and that the custom exists in an attenuated form in all the more ancient christian churches. the rite of confirmation has, however, been devitalized, and its immense significance has been almost wholly lost. instead of being regarded as a real initiation into the privileges and the responsibilities of a religious communion, of an active fellowship for the realization of a divine life on earth, it has become a mere mechanical corollary of the precedent rite of baptism, a formal condition of participation in the sacrament of holy communion. the splendid and many-sided discipline by which the child of the savage was initiated into the secrets of his own emotional nature and the sacred tradition of his people has been degraded into the learning of a catechism and a few hours' perfunctory instruction in the schoolroom or in the parlour of the curate's lodgings. the vital kernel of the rite is decayed and only the dead shell is left, while some of the christian churches have lost even the shell. it is extremely probable that in no remote future the state in england will reject as insoluble the problem of imparting religious instruction to the young in its schools, in accordance with a movement of opinion which is taking place in all civilized countries.[ ] the support which the secular education league has found in the most various quarters is without doubt a fact of impressive significance.[ ] it is well known also that the working classes--the people chiefly concerned in the matter--are distinctly opposed to religious teaching in state schools. there can be little doubt that before many years have passed, in england as elsewhere, the churches will have to face the question of the best methods of themselves undertaking that task of religious training which they have sought to foist upon the state. if they are to fulfil this duty in a wise and effectual manner they must follow the guidance of biological psychology at the point where it is at one with the teaching of their own most ancient traditions, and develop the merely formal rite of confirmation into a true initiation of the new-born soul at puberty into the deepest secrets of life and the highest mysteries of religion. it must, of course, be remembered that, so far as england is concerned, we live in an empire in which there are millions of people who are not even nominally christians,[ ] and that even among the comparatively small proportion (about per cent) who call themselves "christians," a very large proportion are practically secularists, and a considerable number avowedly so. if, however, we assume the secularist's position, the considerations here brought forward still retain their validity. in the first place, the undoubtedly frequent hostility of the freethinker to christianity is not so much directed against vital religion as against a dead church. the freethinker is prepared to respect the christian who by free choice and the exercise of thought has attained the position of a christian, but he resents the so-called christian who is merely in the church because he finds himself there, without any effort of his will or his intelligence. the convinced secularist feels respect for the sincere christian, even though it may only be in the sense that the real saint feels tenderness for the hopeless sinner. and in the second place, as i have sought to point out, the facts we are here concerned with are far too fundamental to concern the christian alone. they equally concern the secularist, who also is called upon to satisfy the spiritual hunger of the adolescent youth, to furnish him with a discipline for his entry into life, and a satisfying vision of the universe. and if secularists have not always grasped this necessity, we may perhaps find therein one main reason why secularism has not met with so enormous and enthusiastic a reception as the languor and formalism of the churches seemed to render possible. if the view here set forth is sound,--a view more and more widely held by educationists and by psychologists trained in biology,--the first twelve years must be left untouched by all conceptions of life and the world which transcend immediate experience, for the child whose spiritual virginity has been prematurely tainted will never be able to awake afresh to the full significance of those conceptions when the age of religion at last arrives. but are we, it may be asked, to leave the child's restless, inquisitive, imaginative brain without any food during all those early years? by no means. even admitting that, as it has been said, at the early stage religious training is the supreme art of standing out of nature's way, it is still not hard to find what, in this matter, the way of nature is. the life of the individual recapitulates the life of the race, and there can be no better imaginative food for the child than that which was found good in the childhood of the race. the child who is deprived of fairy tales invents them for himself,--for he must have them for the needs of his psychic growth just as there is reason to believe he must have sugar for his metabolic growth,--but he usually invents them badly.[ ] the savage sees the world almost exactly as the civilized child sees it, as the magnified image of himself and his own environment; but he sees it with an added poetic charm, a delightful and accomplished inventiveness which the child is incapable of. the myths and legends of primitive peoples--for instance, those of the british columbian indians, so carefully reproduced by boas in german and hill tout in english--are one in their precision and their extravagance with the stories of children, but with a finer inventiveness. it was, i believe, many years ago pointed out by ziller that fairy-tales ought to play a very important part in the education of young children, and since then b. hartmann, stanley hall and many others of the most conspicuous educational authorities have emphasized the same point. fairy tales are but the final and transformed versions of primitive myths, creative legends, stories of old gods. in purer and less transformed versions the myths and legends of primitive peoples are often scarcely less adapted to the child's mind. julia gayley argues that the legends of early greek civilization, the most perfect of all dreams, should above all be revealed to children; the early traditions of the east and of america yield material that is scarcely less fitted for the child's imaginative uses. portions of the bible, especially of genesis, are in the strict sense fairy tales, that is legends of early gods and their deeds which have become stories. in the opinion of many these portions of the bible may suitably be given to children (though it is curious to observe that a welsh education committee a few years ago prohibited the reading in schools of precisely the most legendary part of genesis); but it must always be remembered, from the christian point of view, that nothing should be given at this early age which is to be regarded as essential at a later age, for the youth turns against the tales of his childhood as he turns against its milk-foods. some day, perhaps, it may be thought worth while to compile a bible for childhood, not a mere miscellaneous assortment of stories, but a collection of books as various in origin and nature as are the books of the hebraic-christian bible, so that every kind of child in all his moods and stages of growth might here find fit pasture. children would not then be left wholly to the mercy of the thin and frothy literature which the contemporary press pours upon them so copiously; they would possess at least one great and essential book which, however fantastic and extravagant it might often be, would yet have sprung from the deepest instincts of the primitive soul, and furnish answers to the most insistent demands of primitive hearts. such a book, even when finally dropped from the youth's or girl's hands, would still leave its vague perfume behind. it may be pointed out, finally, that the fact that it is impossible to teach children even the elements of adult religion and philosophy, as well as unwise to attempt it, by no means proves that all serious teaching is impossible in childhood. on the imaginative and spiritual side, it is true, the child is re-born and transformed during adolescence, but on the practical and concrete side his life and thought are for the most part but the regular and orderly development of the habits he has already acquired. the elements of ethics on the one hand, as well as of natural science on the other, may alike be taught to children, and indeed they become a necessary part of early education, if the imaginative side of training is to be duly balanced and complemented. the child as much as the adult can be taught, and is indeed apt to learn, the meaning and value of truth and honesty, of justice and pity, of kindness and courtesy; we have wrangled and worried for so long concerning the teaching of religion in schools that we have failed altogether to realize that these fundamental notions of morality are a far more essential part of school training. it must, however, always be remembered that they cannot be adequately treated merely as an isolated subject of instruction, and possibly ought not to be so treated at all. as harriet finlay-johnson wisely says in her _dramatic method of instruction_: "it is impossible to shut away moral teaching into a compartment of the mind. it should be firmly and openly diffused throughout the thoughts, to 'leaven the whole of the lump.'" she adds the fruitful suggestion: "there is real need for some lessons in which the emotions shall not be ignored. nature study, properly treated, can touch both senses and emotions."[ ] the child is indeed quite apt to acquire a precise knowledge of the natural objects around him, of flowers and plants and to some extent of animals, objects which to the savage also are of absorbing interest. in this way, under wise guidance, the caprices of his imagination may be indirectly restrained and the lessons of life taught, while at the same time he is thus being directly prepared for the serious studies which must occupy so much of his later youth. the child, we thus have to realize, is, from the educational point of view of social hygiene, a being of dual nature, who needs ministering to on both sides. on the one hand he demands the key to an imaginative paradise which one day he must leave, bearing away with him, at the best, only a dim and haunting memory of its beauty. on the other hand he possesses eager aptitudes on which may be built up concrete knowledge and the sense of human relationships, to serve as a firm foundation when the period of adolescent development and discipline at length arrives. footnotes: [ ] de quincey in his _confessions of an opium eater_ referred to the power that many, perhaps most, children possess of seeing visions in the dark. the phenomenon has been carefully studied by g.l. partridge (_pedagogical seminary_, april, ) in over children. he found that . of them aged between thirteen and sixteen could see visions or images at night with closed eyes before falling asleep; of those aged six the proportion was higher. there seemed to be a maximum at the age of ten, and probably another maximum at a much earlier age. among adults this tendency is rudimentary, and only found in a marked form in neurasthenic subjects or at moments of nervous exhaustion. see also havelock ellis, _the world of dreams_, chap. ii. [ ] g. stanley hall, "the contents of children's minds on entering school," _pedagogical seminary_, june, . [ ] "the mother's face and voice are the first conscious objects as the infant soul unfolds, and she soon comes to stand in the very place of god to her child. all the religion of which the child is capable during this by no means brief stage of its development consists of these sentiments--gratitude, trust, dependence, love, etc.--now felt only for her, which are later directed towards god. the less these are now cultivated towards the mother, who is now their only fitting if not their only possible object, the more feebly they will later be felt towards god. this, too, adds greatly to the sacredness of the responsibilities of motherhood." (g. stanley hall, _pedagogical seminary_, june, , p. ). [ ] j. morse, _american journal of religious psychology_, , p. . [ ] lobsien, "kinderideale," _zeitschrift für päd. psychologie_, . [ ] mr. edmond holmes, formerly chief inspector of elementary education in england, has an instructive remark bearing on this point in his suggestive book, _what is and what might be_ ( , p. ): "the first forty minutes of the morning session are given in almost every elementary school to what is called _religious instruction_. this goes on, morning after morning, and week after week. the fact that the english parent, who must himself have attended from to scripture lessons in his schooldays, is not under any circumstance to be trusted to give religious instruction to his own children, shows that those who control the religious education of the youthful 'masses' have but little confidence in the effects of their system on the religious life and faith of the english people." miss harriet finlay-johnson, a highly original and successful elementary school teacher, speaks (_the dramatic method of teaching_, , p. ) with equal disapproval of the notion that any moral value attaches to the ordinary school examinations in "scripture." [ ] if it were not so, england, after sixty years of national schools, ought to be a devout nation of good church people. most of the criminals and outcasts have been taught in church schools. a clergyman, who points this out to me, adds: "i am heartily thankful that religion was never forced on me as a child. i do not think i had any religion, in the ethical sense, until puberty, or any conscious realization of religion, indeed, until nineteen." "the boy," remarks holmes (_op. cit._, p. ), "who, having attended two thousand scripture lessons, says to himself when he leaves school: 'if this is religion i will have no more of it,' is acting in obedience to a healthy instinct. he is to be honoured rather than blamed for having realized at last that the chaff on which he has so long been fed is not the life-giving grain which, unknown to himself, his inmost soul demands." [ ] _la nouvelle héloïse_, part v, letter . in more recent times ellen key remarks in a suggestive chapter on "religions education" in her _century of the child_: "nothing better shows how deeply rooted religion is in human nature than the fact that 'religious education' has not been able to tear it out." [ ] j.s. mill, _letters_, vol. ii, p. . [ ] lancaster found ("the psychology and pedagogy of adolescence," _pedagogical seminary_, july, ) that among individuals of both sexes in the united states, as many as experienced new religious emotions between the ages of and , only having no such emotions at this period, so that more than out of have this experience; it is really even more frequent, for it has no necessary tendency to fall into conventional religious moulds. [ ] professor starbuck, in his _psychology of religion_, has well brought together and clearly presented much of the evidence showing this intimate association between adolescence and religious manifestations. he finds (chap. iii) that in females there are two tidal waves of religious awakening, one at about , the other at , with a less significant period at ; for males, after a wavelet at , the great tidal wave is at , followed by another at or . ruediger's results are fairly concordant ("the period of mental reconstruction," _american journal of psychology_, july, ); he finds that in women the average age of conversion is , in men it is at or , and again at . [ ] g. stanley hall, "the moral and religious training of children and adolescents," _pedagogical seminary_, june, , p. . from the more narrowly religious side the undesirability of attempting to teach religion to children is well set forth by florence hayllar (_independent review_, oct., ). she considers that thirteen is quite early enough to begin teaching children the lessons of the gospels, for a child who acted in accordance with the gospels would be "aggravating," and would generally be regarded as "an insufferable prig." moreover, she points out, it is dangerous to teach young children the christian virtues of charity, humility, and self-denial. it is far better that they should first be taught the virtues of justice and courage and self-mastery, and the more christian virtues later. she also believes that in the case of the clergy who are brought in contact with children a preliminary course of child-study, with the necessary physiology and psychology, should be compulsory. [ ] the varying opinions on this point have been fairly and clearly presented by cheetham in his hulsean lectures on the _mysteries pagan and christian_. [ ] thus at the first congress of italian women held at rome in --a very representative congress, by no means made up of "feminists" or anti-clericals, and marked by great moderation and good sense--a resolution was passed against religious teaching in primary schools, though a subsequent resolution declared by a very large majority in favour of teaching the history of religions in secondary schools. these resolutions caused much surprise at the time to those persons who still cherish the superstition that in matters of religion women are blindly prejudiced and unable to think for themselves. [ ] see e.g. an article by halley stewart, president of the secular education league, on "the policy of secular education," _nineteenth century_, april, . [ ] so far as numbers go, the dominant religion of the british empire, the religion of the majority, is hinduism; mohammedanism comes next. [ ] "not long ago," says dr. l. guthrie (_clinical journal_, th june, ), "i heard of a lady who, in her desire that her children should learn nothing but what was true, banished fairy tales from her nursery. but the children evolved from their own imagination fictions which were so appalling that she was glad to divert them with jack-the-giant-killer." [ ] in his interesting study of comparative education (_the making of citizens_, , p. ), mr. r.e. hughes, a school inspector, after discussing the methods of settling the difficulties of religious education in england, america, germany, and france, reasonably concludes: "the solution of the religious problem of the schools of these four peoples lies in the future, but we believe it will be found not to be beyond human ingenuity to devise a scheme of moral and ethical training for little children which will be suitable. it is the moral principles underlying all conduct which the school should teach. indeed, the school, to justify its existence, dare not neglect them. it will teach them, not dogmatically or by precept, but by example, and by the creation of a noble atmosphere around the child." holmes also (_op. cit._, p. ) insists that the teaching of patriotism and citizenship must be informal and indirect. viii the problem of sexual hygiene the new movement for giving sexual instruction to children--the need of such a movement--contradictions involved by the ancient policy of silence--errors of the new policy--the need of teaching the teacher--the need of training the parents--and of scientifically equipping the physician--sexual hygiene and society--the far-reaching effects of sexual hygiene. it is impossible to doubt the vitality and the vigour of the new movement of sexual hygiene, especially that branch of it concerned with the instruction of children in the essential facts of life.[ ] in the eighteenth century the great educationist, basedow, was almost alone when, by practice and by precept, he sought to establish this branch of instruction in schools.[ ] a few years ago, when the german dürer bund offered prizes for the best essays on the training of the young in matters of sex, as many as five hundred papers were sent in.[ ] we may say that during the past ten years more has been done to influence popular feeling on this question than during the whole of the preceding century. whenever we witness a sudden impulse of zeal and enthusiasm to rush into a new channel, however admirable the impulse may be, we must be prepared for many risks and perhaps even a certain amount of damage. this is, indeed, especially the case when we are concerned with a new activity in the sphere of sex. the sexual relationships of life are so ancient and so wide, their roots ramify so complexly and run so deep, that any sudden disturbance in this soil, however well-intentioned, is certain to have many results which were not anticipated by those responsible for it. any movement here runs the risk of defeating its own ends, or else, in gaining them, to render impossible other ends which are of not less value. in this matter of sexual hygiene we are faced at the outset by the fact that the very recognition of any such branch of knowledge as "sexual hygiene" involves not merely a new departure, but the reversal of a policy which has been accepted, almost without question, for centuries. among many primitive peoples, indeed, we know that the boy and girl at puberty are initiated with solemnity, and even a not unwholesome hardship, into the responsibilities of adult life, including those which have reference to the duties and privileges of sex.[ ] but in our own traditions scarcely even a relic of any such custom is preserved. on the contrary, we tacitly maintain a custom, and even a policy, of silent obscurantism. parents and teachers have considered it a duty to say nothing and have felt justified in telling lies, or "fairy tales," in order to maintain their attitude. the oncoming of puberty, with its alarming manifestations, especially in the girl, has often left them unmoved and still silent. they have taken care that our elementary textbooks of anatomy and physiology, even when written by so independent and fearless a pioneer as huxley, should describe the human body absolutely as though the organs and functions of reproduction had no existence. the instinct was not thus suppressed; all the inevitable stimulations which life furnishes to the youthful sexual impulse have continued in operation.[ ] sexual activities were just as liable to break out. they were all the more liable to break out, indeed, because fostered by ignorance, often unconscious of themselves, and not held in check by the restraints which knowledge and teaching might have furnished. this, however, has seemed a matter of no concern to the guardians of youth. they have congratulated themselves if they could pilot the youths, and especially the maidens, under their guardianship into the haven of matrimony not only in apparent chastity, but in ignorance of nearly everything that marriage signifies and involves, alike for the individual and the coming race. this policy has been so firmly established that the theory of it has never been clearly argued out. so far as it exists at all, it is a theory that walks on two feet pointing opposite ways: sex things must not be talked about because they are "dirty"; sex things must not be talked about because they are "sacred." we must leave sex things alone, they say, because god will see to it that they manifest themselves aright and work for good; we must leave sex things alone, they also say, because there is no department in life in which the activity of the devil is so specially exhibited. the very same person may be guilty of this contradiction, when varying circumstances render it convenient. such a confusion is, indeed, a fate liable to befall all ancient and deeply rooted _tabus_; we see it in the _tabus_ against certain animals as foods (as the mosaic prohibition of pork); at first the animal was too sacred to eat, but in time people came to think that it is too disgusting to eat. they begin the practice for one reason, they continue it for a totally opposed reason. reasons are such a superficial part of our lives! thus every movement of sexual hygiene necessarily clashes against an established convention which is itself an inharmonious clash of contradictory notions. this is especially the case if sexual hygiene is introduced by way of the school. it is very widely held by many who accept the arguments so ably set forth by frau maria lischnewska, that the school is not only the best way of introducing sexual hygiene, but the only possible way, since through this channel alone is it possible to employ an antidote to the evil influences of the home and the world.[ ] yet to teach children what some of their parents consider as too sacred to be taught, and others as too disgusting, and to begin this teaching at an age when the children, having already imbibed these parental notions, are old enough to be morbidly curious and prurient, is to open the way to a complicated series of social reactions which demand great skill to adjust. largely, no doubt, from anxiety to counterbalance these dangers, there has been a tendency to emphasize, or rather to over-emphasize, the moral aspects of sexual hygiene. rightly considered, indeed, it is not easy to over-value its moral significance. but in the actual teaching of such hygiene it is quite easy, and the error is often found, to make statements and to affirm doctrines--all in the interests of good morals and with the object of exhibiting to the utmost the beneficial tendencies of this teaching--which are dubious at the best and often at variance with actual experience. in such cases we seem to see that the sexual hygienist has indeed broken with the conventional conspiracy of silence in these matters, but he has not broken with the conventional morality which grew out of that ignorant silence. with the best intention in the world he sets forth, dogmatically and without qualification, ancient half-truths which to become truly moral need to be squarely faced with their complementary half-truths. the inevitable danger is that the pupil sooner or later grasps the one-sided exaggeration of this teaching, and the credit of the sexual hygienist is gone. life is an art, and love, which lies at the heart of life, is an art; they are not science; they cannot be converted into clear-cut formulæ and taught as the multiplication table is taught. example here counts for more than precept, and practice teaches more than either, provided it is carried on in the light of precept and example. the rash and unqualified statements concerning the immense benefits of continence, or the awful results of self-abuse, etc., frequently found in books for young people will occur to every one. stated with wise moderation they would have been helpful. pushed to harsh extravagance they are not only useless to aid the young in their practical difficulties, but become mischievous by the injury they inflict on over-sensitive consciences, fearful of falling short of high-strung ideals. this consideration brings us, indeed, to what is perhaps the chief danger in the introduction of any teaching of sexual hygiene: the fact that our teachers are themselves untaught. sexual hygiene in the full sense--in so far as it concerns individual action and not the regulative or legislative action of communities--is the art of imparting such knowledge as is needed at successive stages by the child, the youth and maiden, the young man and woman, in order to enable them to deal rightly, and so far as possible without injury either to themselves or to others, with all those sexual events to which every one is naturally liable. to fulfil his functions adequately the master in the art of teaching sexual hygiene must answer to three requirements: ( ) he must have a sufficing knowledge of the facts of sexual psychology, sexual physiology, and sexual pathology, knowledge which, in many important respects, hardly existed at all until recently, and is only now beginning to become generally accessible; ( ) he must have a wise and broad moral outlook, with a sane idealism which refrains from demanding impossibilities, and resolutely thrusts aside not only the vulgar platitudes of worldliness, but the equally mischievous platitudes of an outworn and insincere asceticism, for the wise sexual hygienist knows, with pascal, that "he who tries to be an angel becomes a beast," and is less anxious to make his pupils ineffective angels than effective men and women, content to say with browning, "i may put forth angels' pinions, once unmanned, but not before"; ( ) in addition to sound knowledge and a wise moral outlook, the sexual hygienist must possess, finally, a genuine sympathy with the young, an insight into their sensitive shyness, a comprehension of their personal difficulties, and the skill to speak to them simply, frankly, and humanly. if we ask ourselves how many of the apostles of sexual hygiene combine these three essential qualities, we shall probably not be able to name many, while we may suspect that some do not even possess one of the three qualifications. if we further consider that the work of sexual hygiene, to be carried out on a really national scale, demands the more or less active co-operation of parents, teachers, and doctors, and that parents, teachers, and doctors are in these matters at present all alike untrained, and usually prejudiced, we shall realize some of the dangers through which sexual hygiene must at first pass. it is, i hope, unnecessary for me to say that, in thus pointing out some of the difficulties and the risks which must assail every attempt to introduce an element of effective sexual hygiene into life, i am far from wishing to argue that it is better to leave things as they are. that is impossible, not only because we are realizing that our system of incomplete silence is mischievous, but because it is based on a confusion which contains within itself the elements of disruption. we have to remember, however, that the creation of a new tradition cannot be effected in a day. before we begin to teach sexual hygiene the teachers must themselves be taught. there are many who have insisted, and not without reason, on the right of the parent to control the education of the child. sexual hygiene introduces us to another right, the right of the child to control the education of the parents. for few parents to-day are fitted to exercise the duty of training and guiding the child in the difficult field of sex without preliminary education, and such education, to be real and effective, must begin at an early age in the parents' life.[ ] the school teacher, again, on whom so many rely for the initial stage in sexual hygiene, is at present often in almost exactly the same stage of ignorance or prejudice in these matters as his or her pupils. the teacher has seldom been trained to impart even the most elementary scientific knowledge of the facts of sex, of reproduction, and of sexual hygiene, and is more often than not without that personal experience of life in its various aspects which is required in order to teach wisely in such a difficult field as that of sex, even if the principle is admitted that the teacher in class, equally whether addressing one sex or both sexes, is not called upon to go beyond the scientific, abstract, and objective aspects of sex. this difficulty of the lack of suitable teachers is not, indeed, insuperable. it would be largely settled, no doubt, if a wise and thorough course of sexual hygiene and puericulture formed part of the training of all school teachers, as, in france, pinard has proposed for the normal schools for young women. dr. w.o. henry, in a paper read before the nebraska state medical association in may, , put forward the proposal: "let each state have one or more competent physicians whose duty it shall be to teach these things to the children in all the public schools of the state from the time they are eight years of age. the boys and girls should be given the instruction separately by means of charts, pictures, and stereopticon views, beginning with the lower forms of life, flowers, plants, and then closing with the organs in man. these lectures and illustrations should be given every year to all the boys and girls separately, having those from eight to ten together at one time, and those from ten to twelve, and those from over twelve to sixteen." dr. henry was evidently not aware that the principle of a special teacher appointed by government to give special instruction in matters of sex in all state schools had already been adopted in canada, in the province of ontario; the teacher thus appointed goes from school to school and teaches the elements of sexual physiology and anatomy, and the duty of treating sexual matters with reverence, to classes of boys and of girls from the age of ten. the course is not compulsory, but any school board may call upon the special teacher to deliver the lectures. this appointment has met with so much approval that it is proposed to appoint further teachers on the same lines, women as well as men. it is not necessary that the school teacher of sex should be a physician. for personal and particular advice on the concrete difficulties of sex, however, as well as for the more special and detailed hygiene of the sexual relationship and the precautions demanded by eugenics, we must call in the physician. yet none of these things so far enter the curriculum through which the physician passes to reach his profession; he is often only a layman in relation to them. even if we are assured that these subjects form part of his scientific equipment, that fact by no means guarantees his tact, sympathy, and insight in addressing the young, whether by general lectures or individual interviews, both these being forms of imparting sexual hygiene for which we may properly call upon the physician, especially towards the end of the school or college course, and at the outset of any career in the world.[ ] undoubtedly we have amongst us many mothers, teachers, and physicians who are admirably equipped to fulfil their respective parts--elementary, secondary, and advanced--in the work of sexual hygiene. but so long as they are few and far apart their influence is negatived, if it is not even rendered harmful. it must often be useless for a mother to instil into her little boy respect for his own body, reverence for the channel of motherhood through which he entered the world, any sense of the purity of natural functions or the beauty of natural organs, if outside his home the little boy finds that all other little boys and girls regard these things as only an occasion for sniggering. it is idle for the teacher to describe plainly the scientific facts of sex as a marvellous culmination in the natural unfolding of the world if, outside the schoolroom, the pupil finds that, in the newspapers and in the general conversation of adults, this sacred temple is treated as a common sewer, too filthy to be spoken of, and that the books which contain even the most necessary descriptions of it are liable to be condemned as "obscene" in the law courts.[ ] it is vain for the physician to explain to young men and women the subtle and terrible nature of venereal poisons, to declare the right and the duty of both partners in marriage to know, authoritatively and beforehand, the state of each other's health, or to warn them that a proper sense of responsibility towards the race must prevent some ill-born persons from marrying, or at all events from procreating, if the young man and woman find, on leaving the physician, that their acquaintances are prepared to accept all these risks, light-heartedly, in the dark, in a heedless dream from which they somehow hope there will be no awful awakening. the moral to which these observations point is fairly clear. sex penetrates the whole of life. it is not a branch of mathematics, or a period of ancient history, which we can elect to teach, or not to teach, as may seem best to us, which if we teach we may teach as we choose, and if we neglect to teach it will never trouble us. love and hunger are the foundations of life, and the impulse of sex is just as fundamental as the impulse of nutrition. it will not remain absent because we refuse to call for its presence, it will not depart because we find its presence inconvenient. at the most it will only change its shape, and mock at us from beneath masks so degraded, and sometimes so exalted, that we are no longer able to recognize it. "people are always writing about education," said chamfort more than a century ago, "and their writings have led to some valuable methods. but what is the use, unless side by side with the introduction of such methods, corresponding reforms are not introduced in legislation, in religion, in public opinion? the only object of education is to conform the child's reason to that of the community. but if there is no corresponding reform in the community, by training the child to reason you are merely training him to see the absurdity of opinions and customs consecrated by the seal of sacred authority, public or legislative, and you are inspiring him with contempt of them."[ ] we cannot too often meditate on these wise words. it is useless to attempt to introduce sexual hygiene as a subject apart, and in some respects it may be dangerous. when we touch sex we are touching sensitive fibres which thrill through the whole of our social organism, just as the touch of love thrills through the whole of the bodily organism. any vital reform here, any true introduction of sexual hygiene to replace our traditional policy of confused silence, affects the whole of life or it affects nothing. it will modify our social conventions, enter our family life, transform our moral outlook, perhaps re-inspire our religion and our philosophy. that conclusion need by no means render us pessimistic concerning the future of sexual hygiene, nor unduly anxious to cling to the policy of the past. but it may induce us to be content to move slowly, to prepare our movements widely and firmly, and not to expect too much at the outset. by introducing sexual hygiene we are breaking with the tradition of the past which professed to leave the process by which the race is carried on to nature, to god, especially to the devil. we are claiming that it is a matter for individual personal responsibility, deliberately exercised in the light of precise knowledge which every young man and woman has a right, or rather a duty, to possess. that conception of personal responsibility thus extended to the sphere of sex in the reproduction of the race may well transform life and alter the course of civilization. it is not merely a reform in the class-room, it is a reform in the home, in the church, in the law courts, in the legislature. if sexual hygiene means that, it means something great, though something which can only come slowly, with difficulty, with much searching of hearts. if, on the other hand, sexual hygiene means nothing but the introduction of a new formal catechism, and an occasional goody-goody perfunctory exhortation, it may be introduced at once, quite easily, without hurting anyone's feelings. but, really, it will not be worth worrying about, one way or the other. footnotes: [ ] for a full discussion of the movement, see havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chaps. ii and iii. [ ] basedow (born at hamburg , died ) set forth his views on sexual education--which will seem to many somewhat radical and advanced even to-day--in his great treatise elementarwerk ( ). his practical educational work is dealt with by pinloche, _la réforme de l'education en allemagne au dix-huitième siècle_. [ ] the best of these papers have been printed in a volume entitled _am lebensquell_. [ ] the elaborate and admirable initiation of boys among the natives of torres straits furnishes a good example of this education, and has been fully described by dr. a.c. haddon, _reports of the anthropological expedition to torres straits_, vol. v, chaps. vii and xii. [ ] moll in his wise and comprehensive work, _the sexual life of the child_ (german ed., p. ), lays it down emphatically that "_we must clearly realize at the outset that the complete exclusion of sexual stimuli in the education of children is impossible_." he adds that the demands made by some "fanatics of hygiene" would be dangerous even if they were practicable. games and physical exercises induce in many cases a considerable degree of sexual stimulation. but this need not cause us undue alarm, nor must we thereby be persuaded to change our policy of recommending such games and exercises. [ ] see frau maria lischnewska's excellent pamphlet, _geschlechtliche belehrung der kinder_, first published in _mutterschutz_, , heft and . this is perhaps the ablest statement of the argument in favour of giving the chief place in sexual hygiene to the teacher. frau lischnewska recognizes three factors in the movement for freeing the sexual activities from degradation: ( ) medical, ( ) economic, and ( ) rational. but it is the last--in the broadest sense as a comprehensive process of enlightenment--which she regards as the chief. "the views and sentiments of people must be changed," she says. "the civilized man must learn to gaze at this piece of nature with pure eyes; reverence towards it must early sink into his soul. in the absence of this fundamental renovation, medical and social measures will merely produce refined animals." [ ] "we parents of to-day," as henriette fürth truly says ("erotik und elternpflicht," _am lebensquell_, p. ), "have not yet attained that beautiful naturalness out of which in these matters simplicity and freedom grow. and however willing we may be to learn afresh, most of us have so far lost our inward freedom from prejudice--the standpoint of the pure to whom all things are pure--that we cannot acquire it again. we parents of to-day have been altogether wrongly brought up. the inoculated feeling of shame still remains even after we have recognized that shame in this connection is false." [ ] the method of imparting a knowledge of sexual hygiene (especially in relation to venereal diseases) at the outset of adult life has most actively been carried out in germany and the united states. in germany lectures by doctors to students and others on these matters are frequently given. in the united states information and advice are spread abroad chiefly by the aid of societies. the american society of sanitary and moral prophylaxis, with which the name of dr. morrow is specially connected, was organized in . the chicago society of social hygiene was established in . since then many other similar societies have sprung up under medical auspices in various american cities and states. [ ] many flagrant cases in point are set forth from the legal point of view by theodore schroeder, _"obscene" literature and constitutional law_, new york, , chap. iv. [ ] chamfort, _oeuvres choisies_, ed. by lescure, vol. i, p. . ix immorality and the law social hygiene and legal compulsion--the binding force of custom among savages--the dissolving influence of civilization--the distinction between immorality and criminality--adultery as a crime--the tests of criminality--national differences in laying down the boundary between criminal and immoral acts--france--germany--england--the united states--police administration--police methods in the united states--national differences in the regulation of the trade in alcohol--prohibition in the united states--origin of the american method of dealing with immorality--russia--historical fluctuations in methods of dealing with immorality and prostitution--homosexuality--holland--the age of consent--moral legislation in england--in the united states--the raines law--american attempts to suppress prostitution--their futility--german methods of regulating prostitution--the sound method of approaching immorality--training in sexual hygiene--education in personal and social responsibility. the modern development of social hygiene in matters of eugenics has already sufficed to show that there are certain people in the community, anxious to take quick cuts to the millennium, who think that eugenics can be promoted by hasty legislation. that method of attempting to further social progress is not new. it has been practised with signal lack of success for several thousand years. therefore, if social hygiene is really to progress among us on sane and fundamental lines, it is necessary for us to realize clearly the mistakes of the past. again and again the blind haste of over-zealous reformers has led not to progress, but to retrogression. the excellent intentions of such social reformers have been defeated, not so much by the evils they have sought to overcome, as by their own excesses of ignorant zeal. as our knowledge of history and of psychology increases, we learn that, in dealing with human nature, what seems the longest way round is sometimes the shortest way home. among savages, and no doubt in primitive societies generally, the social reaction against injurious or even unusual acts on the part of individuals is regulated by the binding force of custom. the ruling opinion is the opinion of all, the ruling custom is the duty for all. the dictates of custom, even of ritual and etiquette, are stringent dictates of morality binding upon all, and the breach of any is equivalent to what we should consider a crime. the savage man is held in the path of duty by a much more united force of public opinion than is the civilized man. but, as westermarck points out, in a suggestive chapter on customs and laws as the expression of moral ideas, "custom never covers the whole field of morality, and the uncovered space grows larger in proportion as the moral consciousness develops.... the rule of custom is the rule of duty at early stages of development. only progress in culture lessens its sway."[ ] as a community increases in size and in cultivation, growing more heterogeneous, it adheres rigidly to fundamental conceptions of right and wrong, but in less fundamental matters its moral ideas become both more subjective and more various. if a man kills another man out of love to that man's wife, all civilized society is of opinion that the homicide is a "crime" to be severely punished; but if the man should make love to the wife without killing the husband, then, although in some savage societies the act would still have been a "crime," in a civilized society it would usually be regarded as more properly a case for civil action, not for criminal action; while should it come to be known that the wife had from the first been in love with the man, and was married by compulsion to a husband who had brutally ill-used her, then a very considerable section of the civilized community would actually transfer their sympathies to the offending couple and look upon the husband as the real offender. this is why the vestigial relics of the ancient ecclesiastical view of adultery as a "crime" are no longer supported by public opinion;[ ] they are no longer enforced, or else the penalty is reduced to ridiculous dimensions (as in france, where a fine of a few francs may be imposed), and there is a general inclination to abolish them altogether. penalties for adultery are not nowadays enacted afresh, except in the united states, where medieval regulations are enabled to survive through the strength of the puritan tradition. thus in the state of new york a law was passed in rendering any person guilty of adultery punishable by six months' imprisonment, or a heavy fine, or both. the law was largely due to agitation by the national christian league for the promotion of purity; it was supposed the law would act to prevent adultery. less than three months after the act became law, lawyers reached the conclusion that it was a dead letter. during the two years after its enactment, notwithstanding the large number of divorces, only three persons were sent to prison, for a few days, under this act, and only four fined a small sum. the committee of fourteen state that it is "of practically no effect," and add: "the preventive values of this statute cannot be determined, but, judging from the prosecutions, it has proved an ineffective weapon against immorality, and has practically no effect upon commercialized vice."[ ] when such laws remain on the statute book as relics of practically medieval days they deserve a certain respect, even if it is impossible to enforce them; to re-enact them in modern times is a gratuitous method of bringing law into contempt. it is clear that all such cases affecting morals are not only altered by circumstances, and by consideration of the psychic state of the individual, but that in regard to them different sections of the community hold widely different views. the sanctions of the criminal law to be firm and unshakeable must be capable of literal interpretation and of unfailing execution, and in that interpretation and execution be accepted as just by the whole community. but as soon as law enters the sphere of morals this becomes impossible; law loses all its certainty and all the reverence that rightly belongs to it. it no longer voices the conscience of the whole community; it tends to be merely an expression of the feelings of a small upper-class social circle; the feelings and the habits and the necessities of the mass of the population are altogether ignored.[ ] nor are such legislative incursions into the sphere of morals any more satisfactory from the point of view of the class which is responsible for them. it very soon begins to be felt that, as hagen puts it, "the formulas of penal law are stiff and clumsy instruments which can only in the rarest instance serve to disentangle the delicate and manifoldly interwoven threads of the human soul, and decide what is just and what unjust. formulas are adopted for simple, uncomplicated, rough everyday cases. only in such cases do they achieve the conquest of justice over injustice." it is true that no sharp line divides criminal acts from merely immoral acts, and the latter tend to be indirectly, even when not directly, anti-social. it would be highly convenient if we could draw a sharp distinction between major anti-social acts, which may properly be described as "crime," and justly be pursued with the full rigour of the law, and minor anti-social acts, which may be left to the varying reaction of the social environments since they cannot properly be visited by the criminal law.[ ] such a distinction exists, but it cannot be made sharply because there are a large number of intermediate anti-social acts which some sections of the community regard as major, while others regard them as minor, or even, in some cases, as not anti-social at all. the only convenient test we can apply is the strength of the social reaction--provided we are dealing with an act which is definitely anti-social, injuring recognized rights, and not merely an unusual or disgusting act.[ ] when an anti-social act meets with a reaction of social indignation which is fairly universal and permanent, it may be regarded as a crime coming under the jurisdiction of the law. if opinion varies, if a considerable section of the community revolt against the punishment of the alleged anti-social act, then we are not entitled to dignify it with the appellation of "crime." this is not an altogether sure or satisfactory criterion because there are frequently times and places, especially under the stimulation of some particular occurrence evoking an outburst of increased public emotion, when a section of the community succeeds by its noisy vigour in creating the impression that it voices the universal will. but, on the whole, it works out justly. ethical standards differ in different places at different times. they are, indeed, always changing. therefore, in regard to all matters which belong to the sphere of what we commonly call morals, there are in every community some who approve of a given act, others who disapprove of it, yet others who regard it with indifference. in such a shifting sphere we cannot legislate with the certainty of carrying the whole community with us, nor can we properly introduce the word "crime," which ought to indicate only an action of so gravely anti-social nature that there can be no possibility of doubt about it. it is, however, important to understand the marked national differences in the reaction to these slightly or dubiously anti-social acts, for such differences rest on ancient tradition, and are to some extent the expression of the genius of a people, though they are not the absolutely immutable product of racial constitution, and, within limits, they undergo transformation. it thus happens that acts which in some countries are pursued by the law and punished as crime, are in other countries untouched by the law, and left to the social reaction of the community. it becomes, therefore, of some importance to compare national differences in the attitude towards immorality, to find out whether the attempt to repress it directly, by law, is more effective, or less effective, than the method of leaving it to social reaction. in many respects france and germany present a remarkable contrast in their respective methods of dealing with immorality. the contrast has only existed since the sweeping legal reforms which followed the revolution in france. in old france the laws against sexual and religious offences were extremely severe, involving in some cases death at the stake, and even during the eighteenth century this extreme penalty of the law was sometimes carried out. the police were active, their methods of investigation elaborate and thorough, yet the rigour of the law and the energy of the police signally failed to suppress irreligion and immorality in eighteenth-century france. the revolution, by popularizing the opinions of the more enlightened men of the time, and by giving to the popular voice an authority it had never possessed before, remoulded the antiquated ecclesiastical laws in accordance with the ideas of the average modern man. in nearly all the ancient laws against immorality, which had proved so ineffectual, were flung away, and when in napoleon established the great penal code which bears his name, he was careful to limit to a minimum the moral offences of which the law was empowered to take cognisances, and--acting certainly in accordance with deeply rooted instincts of the french people--he avoided any useless or dangerous interference with private life and the freedom of the individual. the penal code in france remains substantially the same to-day, while the other countries which have constructed their codes on the french model have shown similar tendencies. in germany, and more especially in prussia, which now dominates german opinion, a very different tendency prevails. the german feels nothing of that sensitive jealousy with which the french seek to guard private life and the rights of the individual. he tolerates a police system which, as fuld has pointed out, is the most military police system in the world, and he makes little complaint of the indiscriminating thoroughness, even harshness, with which it exercises its functions. "the north german," as a german lawyer puts it, "gazes with sacred respect on every state authority, and on every official, especially on executive and police functionaries; he complacently accepts police inquisition into his private life, and the regulation of his behaviour by law and police affects his impulse of freedom in a relatively slight manner. hence the law-maker's interference with his private life seems to him a customary and not too injurious encroachment on his individuality."[ ] it thus comes about that a great many acts, of for the most part unquestioned immoral character--such as incest, the procuring of women for immoral purposes, and acts of a homosexual character--which, when adults are alone concerned, the french leave to be dealt with by the social reaction, are in germany directly dealt with by the law. these things and the like are viewed in france with fully as much detestation as in germany, but while the german considers that that detestation is itself a reason for inflicting a legal penalty on the detested act, the frenchman considers that to inflict a punishment upon such acts by law is an inadmissible interference of the state in private affairs, and an unnecessary interference since the social reaction is quite adequate. in germany, dr. wilhelm points out, a man who allows his daughter's _fiancé_ to stay overnight in his house with her is liable to be dragged before the police court and sent to prison for procuring immorality;[ ] to a frenchman this is a shocking and inconceivable insult to private rights.[ ] so also with the german legal attitude towards sexual inversion. the german method of dragging private scandals into the glare of day and investigating them at interminable length in the law courts is a perpetual source of astonishment to frenchmen. they point out that not only does this method defeat its own end by concentrating attention on the abnormal practices it attacks, but it adds dignity to them; a certain small section of the community justifies and upholds these practices, but while in france this section has no reason to come prominently before the public since it has no grievances demanding redress, in germany the existence of a cause to advocate in the name of justice has produced a serious and imposing body of literature which has no parallel in france.[ ] thus, as wilhelm points out, we find exactly opposite methods adopted in germany and france to obtain the same ends: "in germany, punishment on account of alleged injury to general interests; in france absence of punishment in order to avoid injury to general interests; in germany the police baton is called for in order to ward off threatened injury, while in france it is feared that the use of the police baton will itself cause the injury." the question naturally arises: which method is the more effective? wilhelm finds that these differences in national attitude towards immorality have not by any means rendered immorality more prevalent in france than in germany; on the contrary, though extra-conjugal intercourse is in germany almost a crime, sexual offences against children are far more prevalent than in france, while family life is at least as stable in france as in germany, and more intimate. "the freer way of regarding sexual matters and its results in legislation have, as compared to germany, in no respect led to more immoral conditions, while, on the other hand, it has been the reason why the vigorous agitation which we find in germany for certain legal reforms in respect to sexuality are quite unknown." it is forgotten, in germany and in some other countries, sometimes even in france, that to bring immorality within reach of the arm of the law is not necessarily by any means to make the actual penalty, in the largest sense of the term, more severe. so long as he retains the good opinion of his fellows, imprisonment is no injury to a man; it has happened to some of our most distinguished and respected public men. the bad opinion of his fellows, even when the law is powerless to touch him, is often an irretrievable injury to a man. we do not fortify the social reaction, in most matters, when we attempt to give it a legal sanction; we do not even need to fortify it, for it is sometimes harsher and more severe than the law, overlooking or not knowing all the extenuating circumstances. in france, as in england, the force of social opinion, independently of the law, is exceedingly and perhaps excessively strong. in england, however, we see an attitude towards immorality which differs alike from the french attitude and the german attitude, though it has points of contact with both. the distinctive feature of the englishman's attitude is his spirit of extreme individualism (which distinguishes him from the german) combined with the religious nature of his moral fervour (which distinguishes him from the frenchman), both being veiled by a shy prudery (which distinguishes him alike from the frenchman and the german). the englishman's reverence for the individual's rights goes beyond the frenchman's, for in france there is a tendency to subordinate the individual to the family, and in england the interests of the individual predominate. but while in france the laws have been re-moulded to the national temperament, this has not been the case to anything like the same extent in england, where in modern times no great revolution has occurred to shake off laws which still by their antiquity, rather than by their reasonableness, retain the reverence of the people. thus it comes about that, on the legal side the english attitude towards immorality in many respects resembles the german attitude. yet undoubtedly the most fundamental element in the english attitude is the instinct for personal freedom, and even the religious fervour of the moral impulse has strengthened the individualistic element.[ ] we see this clearly in the fact that england has even gone beyond france in rejecting the control of prostitutes. the french are striving to abolish such control, but in england where it was never extensively established it has long been abolished, leaving only a few faint traces behind. it is abhorrent to the english mind that even the most degraded specimens of humanity should be compulsorily deprived of rights over their own persons, even when it is claimed that the deprivation of such rights might be for the benefit of the community. in no country, perhaps, is the prostitute so free to parade the streets in the exercise of her profession as in england, and in no country is public opinion so intolerant of even the suspicion of a mistake by the police in the exercise of that very limited control over prostitutes which they possess. the freedom of the prostitute in england is further guaranteed by the very fervour of english religious feeling; for active interference with prostitutes involves regulation of prostitution, and that implies a national recognition of prostitution which to a very large section of the english people would be altogether repellant. thus english love of freedom and english love of god combine to protect the prostitute. it has to be added that this result is by no means, as some have imagined, hostile to morality. it is the opinion of many foreign observers that in this matter london, for all its freedom, compares favourably with many other large cities where prostitution is severely regulated by the police and so far as possible concealed. for the police can never become the agents of any morality of the heart, and all the repression in the world can only touch the surface of life. the english attitude, again, is characteristically seen in the method of dealing with homosexual practices and other similar sexual aberrations. here, legally, england is closer to germany than to modern france. no country in the world, it is often said, has preserved by tradition and even maintained by recent accretion such severe penalties against homosexual offences as england. yet, unlike the germans, the english do not actively prosecute in these cases and are usually content to leave the law in abeyance, so long as public order and decency are reasonably maintained. english people, like the french people, are by no means impressed by the advantages of the german system by which purely private scandals are made public scandals, to be set forth day after day in all their details before the court, and discussed excitedly by the whole population. yet the english law in this matter is still very widely upheld. there are very many english people who think that the fact that homosexuality is disgusting to most people is a reason for punishing it with extreme severity. yet disgust is a matter of taste, we cannot properly impart it into our laws; a disgusting person is not necessarily a criminal person, or we shall have to enact that many inmates of our hospitals and lunatic asylums be hanged. there is thus a fundamental inconsistency in the english method of dealing with immorality; it is made up of opposite views, some of them extreme in contrary directions. but by virtue of the national tendency to compromise, these conflicting tendencies work in a fairly harmonious manner. the result is that the general state of english morality--notwithstanding, and perhaps partly by reason of, its prudish anxiety to leave unpleasant matters alone--is at least as satisfactory as that of countries where much more logical and thorough methods are in favour. in the united states we see yet another attitude towards immorality. it is, indeed, related to the english attitude, necessarily so, since the most ancient and fundamental element of it was carried over to america by the english puritans, who cherished in the extreme form alike the english passion for individualism and the english fervour of religious idealism. these germs have been too potent for destruction even under all the new influences of american life. but they are not altogether in harmony with those influences, and the result has been that the american attitude towards immorality has sometimes looked rather like a caricature of the english method. the influx of a vast and racially confused population with the over-rapid development of urbanization which has necessarily followed, opens an immense field for idealistic individualism to attempt reforms. but this individualism has not been held in check by the english spirit of compromise, which is not a part of puritanism, and it has thus tended alike to excess and to impotence. this result is brought about partly by facilities for individualistic legislation not voicing the tendencies of the whole population, and therefore fatally condemned to sterility, and partly by the fact that in a new and rapidly developed civilization it is impossible to secure an army of functionaries who may be trusted to deal with the regulation of delicate and complex moral questions in regard to which the community is not really agreed. the american police are generally admitted to be open with special frequency to the charge of ineffectiveness and venality. it is not so often realized that these defects are fostered by the impossible nature of the tasks which are imposed on the american police. this aspect of the matter has been very clearly set forth by dr. fuld, of columbia university, in his able and thorough book on police administration.[ ] he shows that, though the american police system as a system has defects which need to be remedied, it is not true that the individual members of the american police forces are inferior to those of other countries; on the contrary, they are, in some respects, superior; it is not a large proportion which sells the right to break the law.[ ] their most serious defects are due to the impracticable laws and regulations made by inexperienced legislators. these laws and ordinances in many cases cannot possibly be enforced, and the weak police officers accept money from the citizen for not enforcing rules which in any case they could not enforce. "the american police forces," says fuld, "have been corrupted almost solely by the statutes.... the real blame attaches not to the policeman who accepts a bribe temptingly offered him, nor to the bribe-giver who seeks by giving a bribe to make the best possible business arrangement, but rather to the law, which by giving the police a large and uncontrolled discretion in the enforcement of the law places a premium upon bribe-giving and bribe-taking." this state of things is rendered possible by the fact that the duties of the police are not confined to matters affecting crime and public order--matters which the whole community consider essential, and in regard to which any police negligence is counted a serious charge--but are extended to unessential matters which a considerable section of the community, including many of the police themselves, view with complete indifference. it is impossible to regard seriously a conspiracy to defeat laws which a large proportion of citizens regard as unnecessary or even foolish. it thus unfortunately comes about that the charge brought against the american police that "it sells the right to break the law" has not the same grave significance which it would have in most countries, for the rights purchased in america may in most countries be obtained without purchase. "an act ought to be made criminal," as fuld rightly lays down, "only when it is socially expedient to punish its criminality.... the american people, or at least the american legislators, do not make this clear distinction between vice and crime. there seems to be a feeling in america that unless a vice is made a crime, the state countenances the vice and becomes a party to its commission. there are unfortunately a large number of men in the community who believe that they have satisfied the demands made upon them to lead a virtuous life by incorporating into some statute the condemnation of a particular vicious act as a crime."[ ] this special characteristic of american laws, with its failure to distinguish between vice and crime, is clearly a legacy of the early puritans. the puritans carried over to new england independent autonomous laws of morality, and were contemptuous of external law. the sturdy pioneers of the first generation were faithful to that attitude, and were not even guilty of punishing witches. but, when the opportunity came, their descendants could not resist the temptation to erect an external law of morals, and, like the calvinists of geneva, they set up an inquisition backed by the secular arm. it was not until the days of emerson that american puritanism regained autonomous freedom and moved in the same air as milton. but in the meantime the mischief had been done. even to-day an inquisition of the mails has been established in the united states. it is said to be unconstitutional, and one can well believe that that is so, but none the less it flourishes under the protection of what a famous american has called "the never-ending audacity of elected persons." but to allow subordinate officials to masquerade in the postal department as familiars of the inquisition, in the supposed interests of public morals, is a dangerous policy.[ ] its deadening influence on national life cannot fail sooner or later to be realized by americans. to moralize by statute is idle and unsatisfactory enough; but it is worse to attempt to moralize by the arbitrary dicta of minor government officials. it is interesting to observe the methods which find favour in some parts of the united states for dealing with the trade in alcoholic liquors. alcohol is, on the one hand, a poison; on the other hand, it is the basis of the national drinks of every civilized country. every state has felt called upon to regulate its sale to more or less extent, in such a way that ( ) in the interests of public health alcohol may not be too easily or too cheaply obtainable, that ( ) the restraints on its sale may be a source of revenue to the state, and that ( ) at the same time this regulation of the sale may not be a vexatious and useless attempt to interfere unduly with national customs. states have sought to attain these ends in various ways. the sale of alcohol may be made a state monopoly, as in russia, or, again, it may be carried on under disinterested municipal or other control, as by the gothenburg system of sweden or the samlag system of norway.[ ] in england the easier and more usual plan is adopted of heavily taxing the sale, with, in addition, various minor methods for restraining the sale of alcoholic drinks and attempting to improve the conditions under which they are sold. in france an ingenious method of influencing the sale of alcohol has lately been adopted, in the interests of public health, which has proved completely successful. the french national drink is light wine, which may be procured in abundance, of excellent and wholesome quality and very cheaply, provided it is not heavily taxed. but of recent years there has been a tendency in france to consume in large quantity the heavy alcoholic spirits, often of a specially deleterious kind. the plan has been adopted of placing a very high duty on distilled beverages and reducing the duty on the light wines, as well as beer, so that a wholesome and genuine wine can be supplied to the consumer at as low a price as beer. as a result the french consumer has shown a preference for the cheap and wholesome wine which is really his national drink, and there is an enormous fall in the consumption of spirits. whereas formerly the consumption of brandy in french towns amounted to seven or eight litres of absolute alcohol per head, it has now fallen in the large towns to . litres.[ ] in america, however, there is a tendency to deal with the sale of alcohol totally opposed to that which nearly everywhere prevails in europe. when in europe a man abandons the use of alcohol he makes no demand on his fellow men to follow his example, or, if he does, he is usually content to employ moral suasion to gain this end. but in the united states, where there is no single national drink, a large number of people have abandoned the use of alcohol, and have persuaded themselves that its use by other people is a vice, for it is not universally recognized that--"selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." moreover, as in the united states the medieval confusion between vice and crime still subsists among a section of the population, being a part of the national tradition, it became easy to regard the drinking of alcohol as a crime and to make it punishable. hence we have "prohibition," which has prevailed in various states of the union and is especially associated with maine, where it was established in a crude form so long ago as and (except for a brief interval between and ) has prevailed until to-day. the law has never been effective. it has been made more and more stringent; the wildest excuses of arbitrary administration have been committed; scandals have constantly occurred; officials of iron will and determination have perished in the faith that if only they put enough energy into the task the law might, after all, be at last enforced. it was all in vain. it has always been easy in the cities of maine for those to obtain alcohol who wished to obtain it. finally, in , by a direct referendum, the majority by which the people of maine are maintaining prohibition has been brought down to in a total poll of , , while all the large towns have voted for the repeal of prohibition by enormous majorities. the people of maine are evidently becoming dimly conscious that it is worse than useless to make laws which no human power can enforce. "the result of the vote," writes mr. arthur sherwell, an english social reformer, not himself opposed to temperance legislation, "from every point of view, and not least from the point of view of temperance, is eminently unsatisfactory, and it unquestionably creates a position of great difficulty and embarrassment for the authorities. a majority of in a total poll of , is clearly not a sufficient mandate for a drastic law which previous experience has conclusively shown cannot be enforced successfully in the urban districts of the state." successful enforcement of prohibition on a state basis would appear to be hopeless. the history of prohibition in maine will for ever form an eloquent proof of the mischief which comes when the ancient ecclesiastical failure to distinguish between the sphere of morals and the sphere of law is perpetuated under the conditions of modern life. the attempt to force men to render unto cæsar the things which are god's must always end thus. in these matters we witness in america the survival of an ancient tradition. the early puritans were individualists, it is true, but their individualism took a theocratic form, and, in the name of god, they looked upon crimes and vices equally and indistinguishably as sins. we see exactly the same point of view in the penitentials of the ninth century, which were ecclesiastical codes dealing, exactly in the same spirit and in the same way, with crime and with vice, recognizing nothing but a certain difference in degree between murder and masturbation. in the ninth century, and even much later, in calvin's geneva and cotton mather's new england, it was possible to carry into practice this theocratic conception of the unity of vices and crimes and the punishment as sins of both alike, for the community generally accepted that point of view. but that is very far from being the case in the united states of to-day. the result is that in america in this respect we find a condition of things analogous to that which existed in france, before the revolution remoulded the laws in accordance with the temperament of the nation. laws and regulations of the medieval kind, for the moral ordering of the smallest details of life, are still enacted in america, but they are regarded with growing contempt by the community and even by the administrators of the laws. it is realized that such minute inquisition into the citizen's private life can only be effectively carried out where the citizen himself recognizes the divine right of the inquisitor. but the theocratic conception of life no longer corresponds to american ideas or american customs; this minute moral legislation rests on a basis which in the course of centuries has become rotten. thus it has come about that nowhere in the world is there so great an anxiety to place the moral regulation of social affairs in the hands of the police; nowhere are the police more incapable of carrying out such regulation. when we thus bear in mind the historical aspect of the matter we can understand how it has come about that the individualistic idealist in america has been much more resolute than in england to effect reforms, much more determined that they shall be very thorough and extreme reforms, and, especially, much more eager to embody his moral aspirations in legal statutes. but his tasks are bigger than in england, because of the vast, unstable, heterogeneous and crude population he has to deal with, and because, at the same time, he has no firmly established centralized and reliable police instrument whereby to effect his reforms. the fiery american moral idealist is determined to set out for the kingdom of heaven at once, but every steed he mounts proves broken-winded, and speedily drops down by the wayside. don quixote sets the lance at rest and digs his spurs into rosinante's flanks, but he fails to realize that, in our modern world, he will never bear him anywhere near the foe. if we wish to see a totally different national method of regarding immorality we may turn to russia. here also we find idealism at work, but it is not the same kind of idealism, since, far from desiring to express itself by force, its essential basis is an absolute disbelief in force. russia, like france, has inherited from an ancient ecclesiastical domination an extremely severe code of regulations against immorality and all sexual aberrations, but, unlike france, it has not cast them off in order to mould the laws in accordance with national temperament. the essence of the russian attitude in these matters is a sympathy with the individual which is stronger than any antipathy aroused by his immoral acts; his act is a misfortune rather than a sin or a crime. we may observe this attitude in the kindly and helpful fashion in which the russian assists along the streets his fellow-man who has drunk too much vodka, and, on a higher plane, we see the same spirit of forgiving human tenderness in the russian novelists, most clearly in the greatest and most typically national, in dostoieffsky and in tolstoy. the harsh rigidity of the old russian laws had not the slightest influence, either in changing this national attitude or in diminishing the prevalence, at the very least as great as elsewhere, of sexual laxity or sexual aberration. nowadays, as russia attains national self-consciousness, these laws against immorality are being slowly remoulded in accordance with the national temperament, and in some respects--as in its attitude towards homosexuality and the introduction in of what is practically divorce by mutual consent--they allow a freedom and latitude scarcely equalled in any other country.[ ] undoubtedly there is, within certain limits, mutual action and reaction in these matters among nations. thus the influence of france has led to the abolition of the penalty against homosexual practices in many countries, notably holland, spain, portugal, and, more recently, italy, while even in germany there is a strong and influential party, among legal as well as medical authorities, in favour of taking the same step. on the other hand, france has in some matters of detail departed from her general principle in these matters, and has, for instance--without doubt in an altogether justifiable manner--taken part in the international movement against what is called the white slave trade. this mutual reaction of nations is well recognized by the more alert and progressive minds in every country, jealous of any undue interference with liberty. when, for instance, a bill is introduced in the english parliament for promoting inquisitorial and vexatious interference with matters that are not within the sphere of legislation it is eagerly discussed in germany before even its existence is known to most people in england, not so much out of interest in english affairs as from a sensitive dread that english example may affect german legislation.[ ] not only, indeed, have we to recognize the existence of these clearly marked and profound differences in legislative reaction to immorality. we have also to realize that at different periods there are general movements, to some extent overpassing national bounds, of rise and of fall in this reaction. a sudden impulse seizes on a community, and spreads to other communities, to attempt to suppress some form of immorality by law. such attempts, as we know, have always ended in failure or worse than failure, for laws against immorality are either not carried out, or, if they are carried out, it is at once realized that new evils are created worse than the original evils, and the laws speedily fall into abeyance or are repealed. that has been repeatedly seen, and is well illustrated by the history of prostitution, a sexual manifestation which for two thousand years all sorts of persons in authority have sought to suppress off-hand by law or by administrative fiat. from the time when christianity gained full political power, prostitution has again and again been prohibited, under the severest penalties, but always in vain. the mightiest emperors--theodosius, valentinian, justinian, karl the great, st. louis, frederick barbarossa--all had occasion to discover that might was here in vain, and worse than in vain, that they could not always obey their own moral ordinances, still less coerce their subjects into doing so, and that even so far as, on the surface, they were successful they produced results more pernicious than the evils they sought to suppress. the best known and one of the most vigorous of these attempts was that of the empress maria theresa in vienna; but all the cruelty and injustice of that energetic effort, and all the stringent, ridiculous, and brutal regulations it involved--its prohibition of short dresses, its inspection of billiard-rooms, its handcuffing of waitresses, its whippings and its tortures--proved useless and worse than useless, and were soon quietly dropped.[ ] no more fortunate were more recent municipal attempts in england and america (portsmouth, pittsburgh, new york, etc.) to suppress prostitution off-hand; for the most part they collapsed even in a few days. the history of the legal attempts to suppress homosexuality shows the same results. it may even be said to show more, for when the laws against homosexuality are relaxed or abolished, homosexuality becomes, not perhaps less prevalent (in so far as it is a congenital anomaly we cannot expect its prevalence to be influenced by law), but certainly less conspicuous and ostentatious. in france, under the bourbons, the sexual invert was a sacrilegious criminal who could legally be burnt at the stake, but homosexuality flourished openly in the highest circles, and some of the kings were themselves notoriously inverted. since the code napoléon was introduced homosexual acts, _per se_, have never been an offence, yet instead of flourishing more vigorously, homosexuality has so far receded into the background that some observers regard it as very rare in france. in germany and england, on the other hand, where the antiquated laws against this perversion still prevail, homosexuality is extremely prominent, and its right to exist is vigorously championed. the law cannot suppress these impulses and passions; it can only sting them into active rebellion.[ ] but although it has invariably been seen that all attempts to make men moral by law are doomed to disappointment, spasmodic attempts to do so are continually being made afresh. no doubt those who make these attempts are but a small minority, people whose good intentions are not accompanied by knowledge either of history or of the world. but though a minority they can often gain a free field for their activities. the reason is plain. no public man likes to take up a position which his enemies may interpret as favourable to vice and probably due to an anxiety to secure legal opportunities for his own enjoyment of vice. this consideration especially applies to professional politicians. a member of parliament, who must cultivate an immaculately pure reputation, feels that he is also bound to record by his vote how anxious he is to suppress other people's immorality. thus the philistine and the hypocrite join hands with the simple-minded idealist. very few are left to point out that, however desirable it is to prevent immorality, that end can never be attained by law. during the past ten years one of these waves of enthusiasm for the moralization of the public by law has been sweeping across europe and america. its energy is scarcely yet exhausted, and it may therefore be worthwhile to call attention to it. the movement has shown special activity in germany, in holland, in england, in the united states, and is traceable in a minor degree in many other countries. in germany the lex heintze in was an indication of the appearance of this movement, while various scandals have had the result of attracting an exaggerated amount of attention to questions of immorality and of tightening the rigour of the law, though as germany already holds moral matters in a very complex web of regulations it can scarcely be said that the new movement has here found any large field of activity. in holland it is different. holland is one of the traditional lands of freedom; it was the home of independent intellect, of free religion, of autonomous morals, when every other country in europe was closed to these manifestations of the spirit, and something of the same tradition has always inspired its habits of thought, even when they have been largely puritanic. so that there was here a clear field for the movement to work in, and it has found expression, of a very thorough character indeed, in the new so-called "morals law" which was passed in after several weeks' discussion. undoubtedly this law contains excellent features; thus the agents of the "white slave trade," who have hitherto been especially active in holland, are now threatened with five years' imprisonment. here we are concerned with what may fairly be regarded as crime and rightly punishable as such. but excellent provisions like these are lost to sight in a great number of other paragraphs which are at best useless and ridiculous, and at worst vexatious and mischievous in their attempts to limit the free play of civilization. thus we find that a year's imprisonment, or a heavy fine, threatens any one who exposes any object or writing which "offends decency," a provision which enabled a policeman to enter an art-pottery shop in amsterdam and remove a piece of porcelain on which he detected an insufficiently clothed human figure. yet this paragraph of the law had been passed with scarcely any opposition. another provision of this law deals extensively with the difficult and complicated question of the "age of consent" for girls, which it raises to the age of twenty-one, making intercourse with a girl under twenty-one an offence punishable by four years' imprisonment. it is generally regarded as desirable that chastity should be preserved until adult age is well established. but as soon as sexual maturity is attained--which is long before what we conventionally regard as the adult age, and earlier in girls than in boys--it is impossible to dismiss the question of personal responsibility. a girl over sixteen, and still more when she is over twenty, is a developed human being on the sexual side; she is capable of seducing as well as of being seduced; she is often more mature than the youth of corresponding age; to instruct her in sexual hygiene, to train her to responsibility, is the proper task of morals. but to treat her as an irresponsible child, and to regard the act of interfering with her chastity when her consent has been given, as on a level with an assault on an innocent child merely introduces confusion. it must often be unjust to the male partner in the act; it is always demoralizing and degrading to the girl whom it aims at "protecting"; above all, it reduces what ought to be an extremely serious crime to the level of a merely nominal offence when it punishes one of two practically mature persons for engaging with full knowledge and deliberation in an act which, however undesirable, is altogether according to nature. there is here a fatal confusion between a crime and an action which is at the worst morally reprehensible and only properly combated by moral methods. these objections are not of a purely abstract or theoretical character. they are based on the practical outcome of such enactments. thus in the state of new york the "age of consent" was in former days thirteen years. it was advanced to fourteen and afterwards to sixteen. this is the extreme limit to which it may prudently be raised, and the new york society for the prevention of cruelty to children, which had taken the chief part in obtaining these changes in the law, was content to stop at this point. but without seeking the approval of this society, another body, the white cross and social purity league, took the matter in hand, and succeeded in passing an amendment to the law which raised the age of consent to eighteen. what has been the result? the committee of fourteen, who are not witnesses hostile to moral legislation, state that "since the amendment went into effect making the age of consent eighteen years there have been few successful prosecutions. the laws are practically inoperative so far as the age clause is concerned." juries naturally require clear evidence that a rape has been committed when the case concerns a grown-up girl in the full possession of her faculties, possibly even a clandestine prostitute. moreover, as rape in the first degree involves the punishment of imprisonment for twenty years, there is a disinclination to convict a man unless the case is a very bad one. one judge, indeed, has asserted that he will not give any man the full penalty under the present law, so long as he is on the bench. the natural result of stretching the law to undue limits is to weaken it. instead of being, as it should be, an extremely serious crime, rape loses in a large proportion of cases the opprobrium which rightly belongs to it. it is, therefore, a matter for regret that in some english dominions there is a tendency to raise the "age of consent" to an unduly high limit. in new south wales the girls' protection act has placed the age of consent at sixteen, and in the case of offences by guardians, schoolmasters, or employers at seventeen years, notwithstanding the vigorous opposition of a distinguished medical member of the legislative council (the hon. j.m. creed), who presented the arguments against so high an age. not a single prosecution has so far occurred under this act. in england the force of the moral legislation wave has been felt, but it has been largely broken against the conservative traditions of the country, which make all legislation, good or bad, very difficult. a lengthy, elaborate and high-strung prevention of immorality bill was introduced in the house of commons by a group of nonconformists mainly on the liberal side. this bill was very largely on the lines of the dutch law already mentioned; it proposed to raise the age of consent to nineteen; making intercourse with a girl under that age felony, punishable by five years' penal servitude, and any attempt at such intercourse by two years' imprisonment. such a measure would be, it may be noted, peculiarly illogical and inconsistent in england and scotland, in both of which countries (though their laws in these matters are independent) even a girl of twelve is legally regarded as sufficiently mature and responsible to take to herself a husband. at one moment the bill seemed to have a chance of becoming law, but a group of enlightened and independent liberals, realizing that such a measure would introduce intolerable social conditions, organized resistance and prevented the acceptance of the bill. the chief organization in england at the present time for the promotion of public morality is the national council of public morals, which is a very influential body, with many able and distinguished supporters. law-enforced morality, however, constitutes but a very small part of the reforms advocated by this organization, which is far more concerned with the home, the school, the church, and the influences which operate in those spheres. it has lately to a considerable extent joined hands with the workers in the eugenic movement, advocating sexual hygiene and racial betterment, thus allying itself with one of the most hopeful movements of our day. certainly there may be some amount of zeal not according to knowledge in the activities of the national council of public morals, but there is also very much that is genuinely enlightened, and the very fact that the council includes representatives from so many fields of action and so many schools of thought largely saves it from running into practical excesses. its influence on the whole is beneficial, because, although it may not be altogether averse to moral legislation, it recognizes that the policeman is a very feeble guide in these matters, and that the fundamental and essential way of bettering the public morality is by enlightening the private conscience. in the united states conditions have been very favourable, as we have seen, for the attempt to achieve social reform by moral legislation, and nowhere else in the world has it been so clearly demonstrated that such attempts not only fail to cure the evils they are aimed at, but tend to further evils far worse than those aimed at. a famous example is furnished by the so-called "raines law" of new york. this act was passed in , and was intended to regulate the sale of alcoholic liquor in all its phases throughout the state. the grounds for bringing it forward were that the number of drinking saloons was excessive, that there was no fixed licensing fee, that too much discretionary power was allowed to the local commissioner; while, above all, the would-be puritanic legislators wished so far as possible to suppress the drinking of alcoholic liquors on sunday. to achieve these objects the licensing fee was raised to four times its usual amount previously to this enactment; heavy penalties, including the forfeiture of a large surety-bond, were established, and more surely to prevent sunday drinking only hotels, not ordinary drinking bars, were allowed, with many stringent restrictions, to sell drink on that day. in order that there should be no mistake, it was set forth in the act that the hotel must be a real hotel with at least ten properly furnished bedrooms. the legislators clearly thought that they had done a fine piece of work. "seldom," wrote the committee of fourteen, who are by no means out of sympathy with the aims of this legislation, "has a law intended to regulate one evil resulted in so aggravated a phase of another evil directly traceable to its provisions."[ ] in the first place, the passing of this law alarmed the saloon keepers; they realized that it had them in a very tight grip, and they suspected that it might be strictly enforced. they came to the conclusion, therefore, that their best policy would be to accept the law and to conform themselves to its provisions by converting their drinking bars into real hotels, with ten properly furnished bedrooms, kitchen, and dining-room. the immediate result was the preparation of ten thousand bedrooms, for which there was of course no real demand, and by there were certificated hotels in manhattan and the bronx alone, about of these hotels having probably been created by the raines law. but something had to be done with all these bedrooms, properly furnished according to law, for it was necessary to meet the heavy expenses incurred under the new conditions created by the law. the remedy was fairly obvious. these bedrooms were excellently adapted to serve as places of assignation and houses of prostitution. many hotel proprietors became practically brothel keepers, the women in some cases becoming boarders in the hotels; and saloons and hotels have entered into a kind of alliance for their mutual benefit, and are sometimes indeed under the same management. when a hotel is thus run in the interests of prostitution it has what may be regarded as a staff of women in the neighbouring streets. in some districts of new york it is found that practically all the prostitutes on the street are connected with some raines law hotel. these wise moral legislators of new york thought they were placing a penalty on sunday drinking; what they have really done is to place a premium on prostitution[ ]. an attempt of a different kind to strike a blow at once at alcohol and at prostitution has been made in chicago, with equally unsatisfactory results. drink and prostitution are connected, so intimately connected, indeed, that no attempt to separate them can ever be more than superficially successful even with the most minute inquisition by the police, least of all by police officers, who, in chicago, we are officially told, are themselves sometimes found, when in uniform and on duty, drinking among prostitutes in "saloons." on may , , the chicago general superintendent of police made a rule prohibiting the sale of liquor in houses of prostitution. on the surface this rule has in most cases been observed (though only on the surface, as the field-workers of the chicago vice commission easily discovered), and a blow was thus dealt to those houses which derive a large profit from the sale of drinks on account of the high price at which they retail them. yet even so far as the rule has been obeyed, and not evaded, has it effected any good? on this point we may trust the evidence of the vice commissioners of chicago, a municipal body appointed by the mayor and city council, and not anxious to discredit the actions of their police superintendent. "as to the benefits derived from this order, either to the inmates or the public, opinions differ," they write. "it is undoubtedly true that the result of the order has been to scatter the prostitutes over a wide territory and to transfer the sale of liquor carried on heretofore in houses to the near-by saloon-keepers, and to flats and residential sections, but it is an open question whether it has resulted in the lessening of either of the two evils of prostitution and drink."[ ] that is a mild statement of the results. it may be noted that there are over seven thousand drinking saloons in chicago, so that the transfer is not difficult, while the migration to flats--of which an enormous number have been taken for purposes of prostitution (five hundred in one district alone) since this rule came into force--may indeed enable the prostitute to live a freer and more humanizing life, but in no faintest degree diminishes the prevalence of prostitution. from the narrow police standpoint, indeed, the change is a disadvantage, for it shelters the prostitute from observation, and involves an entirely new readjustment to new conditions. it cannot be said that either the state of new york or the city of chicago has been in any degree more fortunate in its attempts at moral legislation against prostitution than against drinking. as we should expect, the laws of new york regard prostitution and the prostitute with an eye of extreme severity. every prostitute in new york, by virtue of the mere fact that she is a prostitute, is technically termed a "vagrant." as such she is liable to be committed to the workhouse for a term not exceeding six months; the owner of houses where she lives may be heavily fined, as she herself may be for living in them, and the keeper of a disorderly house may be imprisoned and the disorderly house suppressed. it is not clear that the large number of prostitutes in new york have been diminished by so much as a single unit, but from time to time attempts are made in some district or another by an unusually energetic official to put the laws into execution, and it is then possible to study the results. when disorderly houses are suppressed on a large scale, there are naturally a great number of prostitutes who have to find homes elsewhere in order to carry on their business. on one occasion, under the auspices of district-attorney jerome, it is stated by the committee of fourteen that eight hundred women were reported to be turned out into the street in a single night. for many there are the raines law hotels. a great many others take refuge in tenement houses. such houses in congested districts are crowded with families, and with these the prostitute is necessarily brought into close contact. consequently the seeds of physical and mental disorder which she may bear about her are disseminated in a much more fruitful soil than they were before. moreover, she is compelled by the laws to exert very great energy in the pursuit of her profession. as it is an offence to harbour her she has to pay twice as high a rent as other people would have to pay for the same rooms. she may have to pay the police to refrain from molesting her, as well as others to protect her from molestation. she is surrounded by people whom the law encourages to prey upon her. she is compelled to exert her energies at highest tension to earn the very large sums which are necessary, not to gain profits for herself, but to feed all the sharks who are eager to grab what is given to her. the blind or perverse zeal of the moral legislators not only intensifies the evils it aims at curing, but it introduces a whole crop of new evils. how large these sums are we may estimate by the investigation made by the vice commissioners of chicago. they conclude after careful inquiry that the annual profits of prostitution in the city of chicago alone amount to between fifteen to sixteen million dollars, and they regard this as "an ultra-conservative estimate." it is true that not all this actually passes through the women's hands and it includes the sales of drinks. if we confine ourselves strictly to the earnings of the girls themselves it is found to work out at an average for each girl of thirteen hundred dollars per annum. this is more than four times as much as the ordinary shop-girl can earn in chicago by her brains, virtue, and other good qualities. but it is not too much for the prostitute's needs; she is compelled to earn so large an income because the active hostility of society, the law, and the police facilitates the task of all those persons--and they are many--who desire to prey upon her. thus society, the law, and the police gain nothing for morals by their hostility to the prostitute. on the contrary, they give strength and stability to the very vice they nominally profess to fight against. this is shown in the vital matter of the high rents which it is possible to obtain where prostitution is concerned. these high rents are the direct result of legal and police enactments against the prostitute. remove these enactments and the rents would automatically fall. the enactments maintain the high rents and so ensure that the mighty protection of capital is on the side of prostitution; the property brings in an exorbitant rate of interest on the capital invested, and all the forces of sound business are concerned in maintaining rents. so gross is the ignorance of the would-be moral legislators--or, some may think, so skilful their duplicity--that the methods by which they profess to fight against immorality are the surest methods for enabling immorality not merely to exist--which it would in any case--but to flourish. a vigorous campaign is initiated against immorality. on the surface it is successful. morality triumphs. but, it may be, in the end we are reminded of the saying of m. desmaisons in one of remy de gourmont's witty and profound _dialogues des amateurs_: "quand la morale triomphe il se passe des choses très vilaines." the reason why the "triumphs" of legislative and administrative morality are really such ignominious failures must now be clear, but may again be repeated. it is because on matters of morals there is no unanimity of opinion as there is in regard to crime. there is always a large section of the community which feels tolerant towards, and even practises, acts which another section, it may be quite reasonably, stigmatizes as "immoral." such conditions are highly favourable for the exercise of moral influence; they are quite unsuitable for legislative action, which cannot possibly be brought to bear against a large minority, perhaps even majority, of otherwise law-abiding citizens. in the matter of prostitution, for instance, the vice commissioners of chicago state emphatically the need for "constant and persistent repression" leading on to "absolute annihilation of prostitution." they recommend the appointment of a "morals commission" to suppress disorderly houses, and to prosecute their keepers, their inmates, and their patrons; they further recommend the establishment of a "morals court" of vaguely large scope. among the other recommendations of the commissioners--and there are ninety-seven such recommendations--we find the establishment of a municipal farm, to which prostitutes can be "committed on an indeterminate sentence"; a "special morals police squad"; instructions to the police to send home all unattended boys and girls under sixteen at p.m.; no seats in the parks to be in shade; searchlights to be set up at night to enable the police to see what the public are doing, and so on. the scheme, it will be seen, combines the methods of calvin in geneva with those of maria theresa in vienna.[ ] the reason why any such high-handed repression of immorality by force is as impracticable in chicago as elsewhere is revealed in the excellent picture of the conditions furnished by the vice commissioners themselves. they estimate that the prostitutes in disorderly houses known to the police--leaving out of account all prostitutes in flats, rooms, hotels and houses of assignation, and also taking no note of clandestine prostitutes--receive , visits from men daily, or , , per annum. they consider further that the men in question may be one-fourth of the adult male population ( , in the city itself, leaving the surrounding district out of the reckoning), and they rightly insist that this estimate cannot possibly cover all the facts. yet it never occurs to the vice commissioners that in thus proposing to brand one-third or even only one quarter of the adult male population as criminals, and as such to prosecute them actively, is to propose an absurd impossibility. it is not by any means only in the united states that an object lesson in the foolishness of attempting to make people moral by force is set up before the world. it has often been set up before, and at the present day it is illustrated in exactly the same way in germany. unlike as are the police systems and the national temperaments of germany and the united states, in this matter social reformers tell exactly the same story. they report that the german laws and ordinances against immorality increase and support the very evil they profess to attack. thus by making it criminal to shelter, even though not for purposes of gain, unmarried lovers, even when they intend to marry, the respectable girl is forced into the position of the prostitute, and as such she becomes subject to an endless amount of police regulation and police control. landlords are encouraged to live on her activities, charging very high rates to indemnify themselves for the risks they run by harbouring her. she, in her turn, to meet the exorbitant demands which the law and the police encourage the whole environment to make upon her, is forced to exercise her profession with the greatest activity, and to acquire the maximum of profit. law and the police have forged the same vicious circle.[ ] the illustrations thus furnished by germany, holland, england, and the united states, will probably suffice to show that there really is at the present time a wave of feeling in favour of the notion that it is possible to promote public morals by force of law. it only remains to observe that the recognition of the futility of such attempts by no means necessarily involves a pessimistic conservatism. to point out that prostitution never has been, and never can be, abolished by law, is by no means to affirm that it is an evil which must endure for ever and that no influence can affect it. but we have to realize, in the first place, that prostitution belongs to that sphere of human impulses in which mere external police ordinances count for comparatively little, and that, in the second place, even in the more potent field of true morals, which has nothing to do with moral legislation, prostitution is so subtly and deeply rooted that it can only be affected by influences which bear on all our methods of thought and feeling and all our social custom. it is far from being an isolated manifestation; it is, for instance, closely related to marriage; any reforms in prostitution, therefore, can only follow a reform in our marriage system. but prostitution is also related to economics, and when it is realized how much has to be altogether changed in our whole social system to secure even an approximate abolition of prostitution it becomes doubtful whether many people are willing to pay the price of removing the "social evil" they find it so easy to deplore. they are prepared to appoint commissions; they have no objection to offer up a prayer; they are willing to pass laws and issue police regulations which are known to be useless. at that point their ardour ends. if it is impossible to guard the community by statute against the central evil of prostitution, still more hopeless is it to attempt the legal suppression of all the multitudinous minor provocations of the sexual impulse offered by civilization. let it be assumed that only by such suppression, and not by frankly meeting and fighting temptations, can character be formed, yet it would be absolutely impossible to suppress more than a fraction of the things that would need to be suppressed. "there is almost no feature, article of dress, attitude, act," dr. stanley hall has truly remarked, "or even animal, or perhaps object in nature, that may not have to some morbid soul specialized erogenic and erethic power." if, therefore, we wish to suppress the sexually suggestive and the possibly obscene we are bound to suppress the whole world, beginning with the human race, for if we once enter on that path there is no definite point at which we can logically stop. the truth is, as mr. theodore schroeder has so repeatedly insisted,[ ] that "obscenity" is subjective; it cannot reside in an object, but only in the impure mind which is influenced by the object. in this matter mr. schroeder is simply the follower, at an interval, of st. paul. we must work not on the object, but on the impure mind affected by the object. if the impure heart is not suppressed it is useless to suppress the impure object, while if the heart is renewed the whole task is achieved. certainly there are books, pictures, and other things in life so unclean that they can never be pure even to the purest, but these things by their loathsomeness are harmless to all healthy minds; they can only corrupt minds which are corrupt already. unfortunately, when ignorant police officials and custom-house officers are entrusted with the task of searching for the obscene, it is not to these things that their attention is exclusively directed. such persons, it seems, cannot distinguish between these things and the noblest productions of human art and intellect, and the law has proved powerless to set them right; in all civilized countries the list is indeed formidable of the splendid and inspiring productions, from the bible downwards, which officials or the law courts have been pleased to declare "obscene." so that while the task of moralizing the community by force must absolutely fail of its object, it may at the same time suffice to effect much mischief. it is one of the ironies of history that the passion for extinguishing immorality by law and administration should have arisen in what used to be called christendom. for christianity is precisely the most brilliant proof the world has ever seen of the truth that immorality cannot so be suppressed. from the standpoint of classic rome christianity was an aggressive attack on roman morality from every side. it was not so only in appearance, but in reality, as modern historians fully recognize.[ ] merely as a new religion christianity would have been received with calm indifference, even with a certain welcome, as other new religions were received. but christianity denied the supremacy of the state, carried on an anti-military propaganda in the army, openly flouted established social conventions, loosened family life, preached and practised asceticism to an age that was already painfully aware that, above all things, it needed men. the fatal though doubtless inevitable step was taken of attempting to suppress the potent poison of this manifold immorality by force. the triumph of christianity was largely due to the fine qualities which were brought out by that annealing process, and the splendid prestige which the process itself assured. yet the method of warfare which it had so brilliantly proved to be worthless was speedily adopted by christianity itself, and is even yet, at intervals, spasmodically applied. that these attempts should have such results as we see is not surprising when we remember that even movements, at the outset, mainly inspired by moral energy, rather than by faith in moral legislation, when that energy becomes reckless, violent and intolerant, lead in the end to results altogether opposed to the aims of those who initiated them. it was thus that luther has permanently fortified the position of the popes whom he assailed, and that the reformation produced the counter-reformation, a movement as formidable and as enduring as that which it countered. when luther appeared all that was rigid and inhuman in the church was slowly dissolving, certainly not without an inevitable sediment of immorality, yet the solution was in the highest degree favourable to the development of the freer and larger conceptions of life, the expansion of science and art and philosophy, which at that moment was pre-eminently necessary for the progress of civilisation, and, indirectly, therefore, for the progress of morals.[ ] the violence of the reformation not only resulted in a new tyranny for its own adherents--calling in turn for fresh reformations by puritans, quakers, deists, and freethinkers--but it re-established, and even to-day continues to support, that very tyranny of the old church against which it was a protest. when we try to regulate the morals of men on the same uniform pattern we have to remember that we are touching the most subtle, intimate, and incalculable springs of action. it is useless to apply the crude methods of "suppression" and "annihilation" to these complex and indestructible forces. when charles v retired in weariness from the greatest throne in the world to the solitude of the monastery at yuste, he occupied his leisure for some weeks in trying to regulate two clocks. it proved very difficult. one day, it is recorded, he turned to his assistant and said: "to think that i attempted to force the reason and conscience of thousands of men into one mould, and i cannot make two clocks agree!" wisdom comes to the rulers of men, sometimes, usually when they have ceased to be rulers. it comes to the moral legislators not otherwise than it comes to the immoral persons they legislate against. "i act first," the french thief said; "then i think." it seems to some people almost a paradox to assert that immorality should not be encountered by physical force. the same people would willingly admit that it is hopeless to rout a modern army with bows and arrows, even with the support of a fanfare of trumpets. yet that metaphor, as we have seen, altogether fails to represent the inadequacy of law in the face of immorality. we are concerned with a method of fighting which is not merely inadequate, but, as has been demonstrated many times during the last two thousand years, actually fortifies and even dignifies the foe it professes to attack. but the failure of physical force to suppress the spiritual evil of immorality by no means indicates that a like failure would attend the more rational tactics of opposing a spiritual force by spiritual force. the virility of our morals is not proved by any weak attempt to call in the aid of the secular arm of law or the ecclesiastical arm of theology. if a morality cannot by its own proper virtue hold its opposing immorality in check then there is something wrong with that morality. it runs the risk of encountering a fresh and more vigorous movement of morality. men begin to think that, if not the whole truth, there is yet a real element of truth in the assertion of nietzsche: "we believe that severity, violence, slavery, danger in the street and in the heart, secrecy, stoicism, tempter's art and devilry of every kind, everything wicked, tyrannical, predatory and serpentine in man, serves as well for the elevation of the human species as its opposite."[ ] to ignore altogether the affirmation of that opposing morality, it may be, would be to breed a race of weaklings, fatally doomed to succumb helplessly to the first breath of temptation. although we are passing through a wave of moral legislation, there are yet indications that a sounder movement is coming into action. the demand for the teaching of sexual hygiene which parents, teachers, and physicians in germany, the united states and elsewhere, are now striving to formulate and to supply will, if it is wisely carried out, effect far more for public morals than all the legislation in the world. inconsistently enough, some of those who clamour for moral legislation also advocate the teaching of sexual hygiene. but there is no room for compromise or combination here. a training in sexual hygiene has no meaning if it is not a training, for men and women alike, in personal and social responsibility, in the right to know and to discriminate, and in so doing to attain self-conquest. a generation thus trained to self-respect and to respect for others has no use for a web of official regulations to protect its feeble and cloistered virtues from possible visions of evil, and an army of police to conduct it homewards at p.m. nor, on the other hand, can any reliable sense of social responsibility ever be developed in such an unwholesome atmosphere of petty moral officialdom. the two methods of moralization are radically antagonistic. there can be no doubt which of them we ought to pursue if we really desire to breed a firmly-fibred, clean-minded, and self-reliant race of manly men and womanly women. footnotes: [ ] westermarck, _origin and development of the moral ideas_, vol. i, p. ; see also chapter on sexual morality in havelock ellis, _studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society," chap. ix. [ ] it must be remembered that in medieval days not only adultery but the smallest infraction of what the church regarded as morality could be punished in the archdeacon's court; this continued to be the case in england even after the reformation. see archdeacon w.w. hales' interesting work, _precedents and proceedings in criminal causes_ ( ), which is, as the author states, "a history of the moral police of the church." [ ] _the social evil in new york city_, p. . [ ] this has been emphasized in an able and lucid discussion of this question by dr. hans hagen, "sittliche werturteile," _mutterschutz_, heft i and ii, . such recognition of popular morals, he justly remarks, is needed not only for the sake of the people, but for the sake of law itself. [ ] grabowsky, in criticizing hiller's book, _das recht über sich selbst_ (_archiv für kriminalanthropologie und kriminalistik_, bd. , ), argues that in some cases immorality injures rights which need legal protection, but he admits it is difficult to decide when this is the case. he does not think that the law should interfere with homosexuality in adults, but he does consider it should interfere with incest, on the ground that in-breeding is not good for the race. but it is the view of most authorities nowadays that in-breeding is only injurious to the race in the case of an unsound stock, when the defect being in both partners of the same kind would probably be intensified by heredity. [ ] the occurrence of, for instance, incestuous, bestial, and homosexual acts--which are generally abhorrent, but not necessarily anti-social--makes it necessary to exercise some caution here. [ ] i quote from a valuable and interesting study by dr. eugen wilhelm, "die volkspsychologischen unterschiede in der französischen und deustchen sittlichkeits-gesetzgebung und rechtsprechung," _sexual-probleme_, october, . it may be added that in switzerland, also, the tyranny of the police is carried to an extreme. edith sellers gives some extraordinary examples, _cornhill_, august, . [ ] the absurdities and injustice of the german law, and its interference with purely private interests in these matters, have often been pointed out, as by dr. kurt hiller ("ist kuppelei strafwürdig?" _die neue generation_, november, ). as to what is possible under german law by judicial decision since , hagen takes the case of a widow who has living with her a daughter, aged twenty-five or thirty, engaged to marry an artisan now living at a distance for the sake of his work; he comes to see her when he can; she is already pregnant; they will marry soon; one evening, with the consent of the widow, who looks on the couple as practically married, he stays over-night, sharing his betrothed's room, the only room available. result: the old woman becomes liable to four years' penal servitude, a fine of six thousand marks, loss of civil rights, and police supervision. [ ] in another respect the french code carries private rights to an excess by forbidding the unmarried mother to make any claim on the father of her child. in most countries such a prohibition is regarded as unreasonable and unjust. there is even a tendency (as by a recent dutch law) to compel the father to provide for his illegitimate child not on the scale of the mother's social position but on the scale of his own social position. this is, possibly, an undue assertion of the superiority of man. [ ] the same point has lately been illustrated in holland, where a recent modification in the law is held to press harshly on homosexual persons. at once a vigorous propaganda on behalf of the homosexual has sprung into existence. we see here the difference between moral enactments and criminal enactments. supposing that a change in the law had placed, for instance, increased difficulties in the way of burglary. we should not witness any outburst of literary activity on behalf of burglars, because the community, as a whole, is thoroughly convinced that burglary ought to be penalized. [ ] apart from the attitude towards immorality, we have an illustration of the peculiarly english tendency to unite religious fervour with individualism in quakerism. in no other european country has any similar movement--that is, a popular movement of individualistic mysticism--ever appeared on the same scale. [ ] e.f. fuld, ph.d., _police administration_, . [ ] ex-police commissioner bingham, of new york, estimated (_hampton's magazine_, september, ) that "fifteen per cent. or from to members of the police force are unscrupulous 'grafters' whose hands are always out for easy money." see also report of the committee of fourteen on _the social evil in new york city_, p. . [ ] fuld, _op. cit._, pp. _et seq._ this last opinion by no means stands alone. thus it is asserted by the committee of fourteen in their report on the _social evil in new york city_ ( , p. xxxiv) that "some laws exist to-day because an unintelligent, cowardly public puts unenforceable statutes on the book, being content with registering their hypocrisy." [ ] it is also a blundering policy. its blind anathema is as likely as not to fall on its own allies. thus the report of the municipally appointed and municipally financed vice commission of chicago is not only an official but a highly moral document, advocating increased suppression of immoral literature, and erring, if it errs, on the side of over-severity. it has been suppressed by the united states post office! [ ] this system applies only to spirits, not to beer and wine, but it has proved very effective in diminishing drunkenness, as is admitted by those who are opposed to the system. a somewhat similar system exists in england under the name of the trust system, but its extension appears unfortunately to be much impeded by english laws and customs. [ ] jacques bertillon, in a paper read to the académie des sciences morales et politiques, th september, . [ ] during the present century a great wave of immorality and sexual crime has been passing over russia. this is not attributable to the laws, old or new, but is due in part to the russo-japanese war, and in part to the relaxed tension consequent on the collapse of the movement for political reform. (see an article by professor asnurof, "la crise sexuelle en russie," _archives d'anthropologie criminelle_, april, .) [ ] it was by this indirect influence that i was induced to write the present chapter. the editor of a prominent german review wrote to me for my opinion regarding a bill dealing with the prevention of immorality which had been introduced into the english parliament and had aroused much interest and anxiety in germany, where it had been discussed in all its details. but i had never so much as heard of the bill, nor could i find any one else who had heard of it, until i consulted a member of parliament who happened to have been instrumental in causing its rejection. [ ] j. schrank, _die prostitution in wien_, bd. i, pp. - . [ ] the history of this movement in germany may be followed in the _vierteljahrsberichte des wissenschaftlich-humanitären komitees_, edited by dr. magnus hirschfeld, a great authority on the matter. [ ] report on _the social evil in new york city_, p. ; see also rev dr. j.p. peters, "suppression of the 'raines law hotels,'" _american academy of political and social science_, november, . [ ] it is probably needless to add that the specific object of the act--the puritanic observance of sunday--was by no means attained. on sunday, the th december, , the police made a desperate attempt to enforce the law; every place of amusement was shut up; lectures, religious concerts, even the social meetings of the young men's christian association, were rigorously put a stop to. there was, of course, great popular indignation and uproar, and the impromptu performances got up in the streets, while the police looked on sympathetically, are said to have been far more outrageous than any entertainment indoors could possibly have been. [ ] _the social evil in chicago_, p. . [ ] the methods of maria theresa never had any success; the methods of calvin at geneva had, however, a certain superficial success, because the right conditions existed for their exercise. that is to say, that a theocratic basis of society was generally accepted, and that the suppression of immorality was regarded by the great mass of the population, including in most cases, no doubt, even the offenders themselves, as a religious duty. it is, however, interesting to note that, even at geneva, these "triumphs of morality" have met the usual fate. at the present day, it appears (edith sellers, _cornhill_, august, ), there are more disorderly houses in geneva, in proportion to the population, than in any other town in europe. [ ] see e.g. p. hausmeister, "zur analyse der prostitution," _geschlect und gesellschaft_, , p. . [ ] theodore schroeder, _"obscene" literature and constitutional law_, new york, . [ ] thus sir samuel dill (_roman society_, p. ) calls attention to the letter of st. paulinus who, when the empire was threatened by barbarians, wrote to a roman soldier that christianity is incompatible with family life, with citizenship, with patriotism, and that soldiers are doomed to eternal torment. christians frequently showed no respect for law or its representatives. "many christian confessors," says sir w.m. ramsay (_the church in the roman empire_, chap. xv), "went to extremes in showing their contempt and hatred for their judges. their answers to plain questions were evasive and indirect; they lectured roman dignitaries as if the latter were the criminals and they themselves the judges; and they even used violent reproaches and coarse, insulting gestures." bouché-leclercq (_l'intolérance religieuse et le politique_, , especially chap. x) shows how the early christians insisted on being persecuted. we see much the same attitude to-day among anarchists of the lower class (and also, it may be added, sometimes among suffragettes), who may be regarded as the modern analogues of the early christians. [ ] it may well be, indeed, that in all ages the actual sum of immorality, broadly considered--in public and in private, in thought and in act--undergoes but slight oscillations. but in the nature of its manifestations and in the nature of the manifestations that accompany it, there may be immense fluctuations. tarde, the distinguished thinker, referring to the "delicious catholicism" of the days before luther, asks: "if that amiable christian evolution had peacefully continued to our days, should we be still more immoral than we are? it is doubtful, but in all probability we should be enjoying the most æsthetic and the least vexatious religion in the world, in which all our science, all our civilization, would have been free to progress" (tarde, _la logique sociale_, p. ). as has often been pointed out, it was along the lines indicated by erasmus, rather than along the lines pursued by luther, that the progress of civilization lay. [ ] nietzsche, _beyond good and evil_, chap. ii. a century earlier godwin had written in his _political justice_ (book vii, chap. viii): "men are weak at present because they have always been told they are weak and must not be trusted with themselves. take them out of their shackles, bid them enquire, reason, and judge, and you will soon find them very different beings. tell them that they have passions, are occasionally hasty, intemperate, and injurious, but that they must be trusted with themselves. tell them that the mountains of parchment in which they have been hitherto entrenched, are fit only to impose upon ages of superstition and ignorance, that henceforth we will have no dependence but upon their spontaneous justice; that, if their passions be gigantic, they must rise with gigantic energy to subdue them; that if their decrees be iniquitous, the iniquity shall be all their own." x the war against war why the problem of war is specially urgent to-day--the beneficial effects of war in barbarous ages--civilization renders the ultimate disappearance of war inevitable--the introduction of law in disputes between individuals involves the introduction of law in disputes between nations--but there must be force behind law--henry iv's attempt to confederate europe--every international tribunal of arbitration must be able to enforce its decisions--the influences making for the abolition of warfare--( ) growth of international opinion--( ) international financial development--( ) the decreasing pressure of population--( ) the natural exhaustion of the warlike spirit--( ) the spread of anti-military doctrines--( ) the overgrowth of armaments--( ) the dominance of social reform--war incompatible with an advanced civilization--nations as trustees for humanity--the impossibility of disarmament--the necessity of force to ensure peace--the federated state of the future--the decay of war still leaves the possibilities of daring and heroism. there are, no doubt, special reasons why at the present time war and the armaments of war should appear an intolerable burden which must be thrown off as soon as possible if the task of social hygiene is not to be seriously impeded. but the abolition of the ancient method of settling international disputes by warfare is not a problem which depends for its solution on the conditions of the moment. it is implicit in the natural development of the process of civilization. at one stage, no doubt, warfare plays an important part in constituting states and so, indirectly, in promoting civilization. but civilization tends slowly but surely to substitute for war in the later stages of this process the methods of law, or, in any case, methods which, while not always unobjectionable, avoid the necessity for any breach of the peace.[ ] as soon, indeed, as in primitive society two individuals engage in a dispute which they are compelled to settle not by physical force but by a resort to an impartial tribunal, the thin end of the wedge is introduced, and the ultimate destruction of war becomes merely a matter of time. if it is unreasonable for two individuals to fight it is unreasonable for two groups of individuals to fight.[ ] the difficulty has been that while it is quite easy for an ordered society to compel two individuals to settle their differences before a tribunal, in accordance with abstractly determined principles of law and reason, it is a vastly more difficult matter to compel two groups of individuals so to settle their differences. a large part of the history of all the great european countries has consisted in the progressive conquest and pacification of small but often bellicose states outside, and even inside, their own borders.[ ] this is the case even within a community. hobbes, writing in the midst of a civil war, went so far as to lay down that the "final cause" of a commonwealth is nothing else but the abolition of "that miserable condition of war which is necessarily consequent to the natural passions of men when there is no visible power to keep them in awe." yet we see to-day that even within our highly civilized communities there is not always any adequately awful power to prevent employers and employed from engaging in what is little better than a civil war, nor even to bind them to accept the decision of an impartial tribunal they may have been persuaded to appeal to. the smallest state can compel its individual citizens to keep the peace; a large state can compel a small state to do so; but hitherto there has been no guarantee possible that large states, or even large compact groups within the state, should themselves keep the peace. they commit what injustice they please, for there is no visible power to keep them in awe. we have attained a condition in which a state is able to enforce a legal and peaceful attitude in its own individual citizens towards each other. the state is the guardian of its citizens' peace, but the old problem recurs: _quis custodiet ipsos custodes?_ it is obvious that this difficulty increases as the size of states increases. to compel a small state to keep the peace by absorbing it if it fails to do so is always an easy and even tempting process to a neighbouring larger state. this process was once carried out on a complete scale, when practically the whole known world was brought under the sway of rome. "war has ceased," plutarch was able to declare in the days of the roman empire, and, though himself an enthusiastic greek, he was unbounded in his admiration of the beneficence of the majestic _pax romana_, and never tempted by any narrow spirit of patriotism to desire the restoration of his own country's glories. but the roman organization broke up, and no single state will ever be strong enough to restore it. any attempt to establish orderly legal relationships between states must, therefore, be carried out by the harmonious co-operation of those states. at the end of the sixteenth century a great french statesman, sully, inspired henry iv with a scheme of a council of confederated european christian states; each of these states, fifteen in number, was to send four representatives to the council, which was to sit at metz or cologne and regulate the differences between the constituent states of the confederation. the army of the confederation was to be maintained in common, and used chiefly to keep the peace, to prevent one sovereign from interfering with any other, and also, if necessary, to repel invasion of barbarians from without. the scheme was arranged in concert with queen elizabeth, and twelve of the fifteen powers had already promised their active co-operation when the assassination of henry destroyed the whole plan. such a confederation was easier to arrange then than it is now, but probably it was more difficult to maintain, and it can scarcely be said that at that date the times were ripe for so advanced a scheme.[ ] to-day the interests of small states are so closely identified with peace that it is seldom difficult to exert pressure on them to maintain it. it is quite another matter with the large states. the fact that during the past half century so much has been done by the larger states to aid the cause of international arbitration, and to submit disputes to international tribunals, shows how powerful the motives for avoiding war are nowadays becoming. but the fact, also, that no country hitherto has abandoned its liberty of withdrawing from peaceful arbitration any question involving "national honour" shows that there is no constituted power strong enough to control large states. for the reservation of questions of national honour from the sphere of law is as absurd as would be any corresponding limitation by individuals of their liability for their acts before the law; it is as though a man were to say: "if i commit a theft i am willing to appear before the court, and will probably pay the penalty demanded; but if it is a question of murder, then my vital interests are at stake, and i deny altogether the right of the court to intervene." it is a reservation fatal to peace, and could not be accepted if pleaded at the bar of any international tribunal with the power to enforce its decisions. "imagine," says edward jenks, in his _history of politics_, "a modern judge 'persuading' mr. william sikes to 'make it up' with the relatives of his victim, and, on his remaining obdurate, leaving the two families to fight the matter out." yet that is what was in some degree done in england until medieval times as regards individual crimes, and it is what is still done as regards national crimes, in so far as the appeal to arbitration is limited and voluntary. the proposals, therefore--though not yet accepted by any government--lately mooted in the united states, in england, and in france, to submit international disputes, without reservation, to an impartial tribunal represent an advance of peculiar significance. the abolition of collective fighting is so desirable an extension of the abolition of individual fighting, and its introduction has waited so long the establishment of some high compelling power--for the influence of the religion of peace has in this matter been less than nil--that it is evident that only the coincidence of very powerful and peculiar factors could have brought the question into the region of practical politics in our own time. there are several such factors, most of which have been developing during a long period, but none have been clearly recognized until recent years. it may be worth while to indicate the great forces now warring against war. ( ) _growth of international opinion._ there can be no doubt whatever that during recent years, and especially in the more democratic countries, an international consensus of public opinion has gradually grown up, making itself the voice, like a greek chorus, of an abstract justice. it is quite true that of this justice, as of justice generally, it may be said that it has wide limits. renan declared once, in a famous allocution, that "what is called indulgence is, most often, only justice," and, at the other extreme, remy de gourmont has said that "injustice is sometimes a part of justice;" in other words, there are varying circumstances in which justice may properly be tempered either with mercy or with severity. in any case, and however it may be qualified; a popular international voice generously pronouncing itself in favour of justice, and resonantly condemning any government which clashes against justice, is now a factor of the international situation. it is, moreover, tending to become a factor having a certain influence on affairs. this was the case during the south african war, when england, by offending this international sense of justice, fell into a discredit which had many actual unpleasant results and narrowly escaped, there is some reason to believe, proving still more serious. the same voice was heard with dramatically sudden and startling effect when ferrer was shot at barcelona. ferrer was a person absolutely unknown to the man in the street; he was indeed little more than a name even to those who knew spain; few could be sure, except by a kind of intuition, that he was the innocent victim of a judicial murder, for it is only now that the fact is being slowly placed beyond dispute. yet immediately after ferrer was shot within the walls of monjuich a great shout of indignation was raised, with almost magical suddenness and harmony, throughout the civilized world, from italy to belgium, from england to argentina. moreover, this voice was so decisive and so loud that it acted like those legendary trumpet-blasts which shattered the walls of jericho; in a few days the spanish government, with a powerful minister at its head, had fallen. the significance of this event we cannot easily overestimate. for the first time in history, the voice of international public opinion, unsupported by pressure, political, social, or diplomatic, proved potent enough to avenge an act of injustice by destroying a government. a new force has appeared in the world, and it tends to operate against those countries which are guilty of injustice, whether that injustice is exerted against a state or even only against a single obscure individual. the modern developments of telegraphy and the press--unfavourable as the press is in many respects to the cause of international harmony--have placed in the hands of peace this new weapon against war. ( ) _international financial development._ there is another international force which expresses itself in the same sense. the voice of abstract justice raised against war is fortified by the voice of concrete self-interest. the interests of the propertied classes, and therefore of the masses dependent upon them, are to-day so widely distributed throughout the world that whenever any country is plunged into a disastrous war there arises in every other country, especially in rich and prosperous lands with most at stake, a voice of self-interest in harmony with the voice of justice. it is sometimes said that wars are in the interest of capital, and of capital alone, and that they are engineered by capitalists masquerading under imposing humanitarian disguises. that is doubtless true to the extent that every war cannot fail to benefit some section of the capitalistic world, which will therefore favour it, but it is true to that extent only. the old notion that war and the acquisition of territories encouraged trade by opening up new markets has proved fallacious. the extension of trade is a matter of tariffs rather than of war, and in any case the trade of a country with its own acquisitions by conquest is a comparatively insignificant portion of its total trade. but even if the financial advantages of war were much greater than they are, they would be more than compensated by the disadvantages which nowadays attend war. international financial relationships have come to constitute a network of interests so vast, so complicated, so sensitive, that the whole thrills responsively to any disturbing touch, and no one can say beforehand what widespread damage may not be done by shock even at a single point. when a country is at war its commerce is at once disorganized, that is to say that its shipping, and the shipping of all the countries that carry its freights, is thrown out of gear to a degree that often cannot fail to be internationally disastrous. foreign countries cannot send in the imports that lie on their wharves for the belligerent country, nor can they get out of it the exports they need for their own maintenance or luxury. moreover, all the foreign money invested in the belligerent country is depreciated and imperilled. the international voice of trade and finance is, therefore, to-day mainly on the side of peace. it must be added that this voice is not, as it might seem, a selfish voice only. it is justifiable not only in immediate international interests, but even in the ultimate interests of the belligerent country, and not less so if that country should prove victorious. so far as business and money are concerned, a country gains nothing by a successful war, even though that war involves the acquisition of immense new provinces; after a great war a conquered country may possess more financial stability than its conqueror, and both may stand lower in this respect than some other country which is internationally guaranteed against war. such points as these have of late been ably argued by norman angell in his remarkable book, _the great illusion_, and for the most part convincingly illustrated.[ ] as was long since said, the ancients cried, _væ victis_! we have learnt to cry, _væ victoribus_! it may, indeed, be added that the general tendency of war--putting aside peoples altogether lacking in stamina--is to moralize the conquered and to demoralise the conquerors. this effect is seen alike on the material and the spiritual sides. conquest brings self-conceit and intolerance, the reckless inflation and dissipation of energies. defeat brings prudence and concentration; it ennobles and fortifies. all the glorious victories of the first napoleon achieved less for france than the crushing defeat of the third napoleon. the triumphs left enfeeblement; the defeat acted as a strong tonic which is still working beneficently to-day. the corresponding reverse process has been at work in germany: the german soil that napoleon ploughed yielded a moltke and a bismarck,[ ] while to-day, however mistakenly, the german press is crying out that only another war--it ought in honesty to say an unsuccessful war--can restore the nation's flaccid muscle. it is yet too early to see the results of the russo-japanese war, but already there are signs that by industrial overstrain and the repression of individual thought japan is threatening to enfeeble the physique and to destroy the high spirit of the indomitable men to whom she owed her triumph. ( ) _the decreasing pressure of population._ it was at one time commonly said, and is still sometimes repeated, that the pressure of over-population is the chief cause of wars. that is a statement which requires a very great deal of qualification. it is, indeed, possible that the great hordes of warlike barbarians from the north and the east which invaded europe in early times, sometimes more or less overwhelming the civilized world, were the result of a rise in the birth-rate and an excess of population beyond the means of subsistence. but this is far from certain, for we know absolutely nothing concerning the birth-rate of these invading peoples either before or during the period of their incursions. again, it is certain that, in modern times, a high and rising birth-rate presents a favourable condition for war. a war distracts attention from the domestic disturbances and economic wretchedness which a too rapid growth of population necessarily produces, while at the same time tending to draw away and destroy the surplus population which causes this disturbance and wretchedness. yet there are other ways of meeting this over-population beside the crude method of war. social reform and emigration furnish equally effective and much more humane methods of counteracting such pressure. no doubt the over-population resulting from an excessively high birth-rate, when not met, as it tends to be, by a correspondingly high death-rate from disease, may be regarded as a predisposing cause of war, but to assert that it is the pre-eminent cause is to go far beyond the evidence at present available. to whatever degree, however, it may have been potent in causing war in the past, it is certain that the pressure of population as a cause of war will be eliminated in the future. the only nations nowadays that can afford to make war on the grand scale are the wealthy and civilized nations. but civilization excludes a high birth-rate: there has never been any exception to that law, nor can we conceive any exceptions, for it is more than a social law; it is a biological law. russia, a still imperfectly civilized country, stands apart in having a very high birth-rate, but it also has a very high death-rate, and even should it happen that in russia improved social conditions lower the death-rate before affecting the birth-rate, there is still ample room within russian territory for the consequent increase of population. among all the other nations which are considered to threaten the world's peace, the birth-rate is rapidly falling. this is so, for instance, as regards england and germany. germany, especially, it was once thought--though in actual fact germany has not fought for over forty years--had an interest in going to war in order to find an outlet for her surplus population, compelled, in the absence of suitable german colonies, to sacrifice its patriotism and lose its nationality by emigrating to foreign countries. but the german birth-rate is falling, german emigration is decreasing, and the immense growth of german industry is easily able to absorb the new generation. thus the declining birth-rate of civilized lands will alone largely serve in the end to eliminate warfare, partly by removing one of its causes, partly because the increased value of human life will make war too costly. ( ) _the natural exhaustion of the warlike spirit._ it is a remarkable tendency of the warlike spirit--frequently emphasized in recent years by the distinguished zoologist, president d.s. jordan, who here follows novikov[ ]--that it tends to exterminate itself. fighting stocks, and peoples largely made up of fighting stocks, are naturally killed out, and the field is left to the unwarlike. it is only the prudent, those who fight and run away, who live to fight another day; and they transmit their prudence to their offspring. great britain is a conspicuous example of a land which, being an island, was necessarily peopled by predatory and piratical invaders. a long series of warlike and adventurous peoples--celts, romans, anglo-saxons, danes, normans--built up england and imparted to it their spirit. the english were, it was said, "a people for whom pain and death are nothing, and who only fear hunger and boredom." but for over eight hundred years they have never been reinforced by new invaders, and the inevitable consequences have followed. there has been a gradual killing out of the warlike stocks, a process immensely accelerated during the nineteenth century by a vast emigration of the more adventurous elements in the population, pressed out of the overcrowded country by the reckless and unchecked increase of the population which occurred during the first three-quarters of that century. the result is that the english (except sometimes when they happen to be journalists) cannot now be described as a warlike people. old legends tell of british heroes who, when their legs were hacked away, still fought upon the stumps. modern poets feel that to picture a british warrior of to-day in this attitude would be somewhat far-fetched. the historian of the south african war points out, again and again, that the british leaders showed a singular lack of the fighting spirit. during that war english generals seldom cared to engage the enemy's forces except when their own forces greatly outnumbered them, and on many occasions they surrendered immediately they realized that they were themselves outnumbered. those reckless englishmen who boldly sailed out from their little island to face the spanish armada were long ago exterminated; an admirably prudent and cautious race has been left alive. it is the same story elsewhere. the french long cherished the tradition of military glory, and no country has fought so much. we see the result to-day. in no country is the attitude of the intellectual classes so calm and so reasonable on the subject of war, and nowhere is the popular hostility to war so strongly marked.[ ] spain furnishes another instance which is even still more decisive. the spanish were of old a pre-eminently warlike people, capable of enduring all hardships, never fearing to face death. their aggressively warlike and adventurous spirit sent them to death all over the world. it cannot be said, even to-day, that the spaniards have lost their old tenacity and hardness of fibre, but their passion for war and adventure was killed out three centuries ago. in all these and the like cases there has been a process of selective breeding, eliminating the soldierly stocks and leaving the others to breed the race. the men who so loved fighting that they fought till they died had few chances of propagating their own warlike impulses. the men who fought and ran away, the men who never fought at all, were the men who created the new generation and transmitted to it their own traditions. this selective process, moreover, has not merely acted automatically; it has been furthered by social opinion and social pressure, sometimes very drastically expressed. thus in the england of the plantagenets there grew up a class called "gentlemen"--not, as has sometimes been supposed, a definitely defined class, though they were originally of good birth--whose chief characteristic was that they were good fighting men, and sought fortune by fighting. the "premier gentleman" of england, according to sir george sitwell, and an entirely typical representative of his class, was a certain glorious hero who fought with talbot at agincourt, and also, as the unearthing of obscure documents shows, at other times indulged in housebreaking, and in wounding with intent to kill, and in "procuring the murder of one thomas page, who was cut to pieces while on his knees begging for his life." there, evidently, was a state of society highly favourable to the warlike man, highly unfavourable to the unwarlike man whom he slew in his wrath. nowadays, however, there has been a revaluation of these old values. the cowardly and no doubt plebeian thomas page, multiplied by the million, has succeeded in hoisting himself into the saddle, and he revenges himself by discrediting, hunting into the slums, and finally hanging, every descendant he can find of the premier gentleman of agincourt. it must be added that the advocates of the advantages of war are not entitled to claim this process of selective breeding as one of the advantages of war. it is quite true that war is incompatible with a high civilization, and must in the end be superseded. but this method of suppressing it is too thorough. it involves not merely the extermination of the fighting spirit, but of many excellent qualities, physical and moral, which are associated with the fighting spirit. benjamin franklin seems to have been the first to point out that "a standing army diminishes the size and breed of the human species." almost in franklin's lifetime that was demonstrated on a wholesale scale, for there seems little reason to doubt that the size and stature of the french nation have been permanently diminished by the constant levies of young recruits, the flower of the population, whom napoleon sent out to death in their first manhood and still childless. fine physical breed involves also fine qualities of virility and daring which are needed for other purposes than fighting. in so far as the selective breeding of war kills these out, its results are imperfect, and could be better attained by less radical methods. ( ) _the growth of the anti-military spirit._ the decay of the warlike spirit by the breeding out of fighting stocks has in recent years been reinforced by a more acute influence of which in the near future we shall certainly hear more. this is the spirit of anti-militarism. this spirit is an inevitable result of the decay of the fighting spirit. in a certain sense it is also complementary to it. the survival of non-fighting stocks by the destruction of the fighting stocks works most effectually in countries having a professional army. the anti-military spirit, on the contrary, works effectually in countries having a national army in which it is compulsory for all young citizens to serve, for it is only in such countries that the anti-militarist can, by refusing to serve, take an influential position as a martyr in the cause of peace. among the leading nations, it is in france that the spirit of anti-militarism has taken the deepest hold of the people, though in some smaller lands, notably among the obstinately peaceable inhabitants of holland, the same spirit also flourishes. hervé, who is a leader of the insurrectional socialists, as they are commonly called in opposition to the purely parliamentary socialists led by jaurès,--though the insurrectional socialists also use parliamentary methods,--may be regarded as the most conspicuous champion of anti-militarism, and many of his followers have suffered imprisonment as the penalty of their convictions. in france the peasant proprietors in the country and the organized workers in the town are alike sympathetic to anti-militarism. the syndicalists, or labour unionists with the confédération générale du travail as their central organization, are not usually anxious to imitate what they consider the unduly timid methods of english trade unionists;[ ] they tend to be revolutionary and anti-military. the congress of delegates of french trade unions, held at toulouse in , passed the significant resolution that "a declaration of war should be followed by the declaration of a general revolutionary strike." the same tendency, though in a less radical form, is becoming international, and the great international socialist congress at copenhagen has passed a resolution instructing the international bureau to "take the opinion of the organized workers of the world on the utility of a general strike in preventing war."[ ] even the english working classes are slowly coming into line. at a conference of labour delegates, held at leicester in , to consider the copenhagen resolution, the policy of the anti-military general strike was defeated by only a narrow majority, on the ground that it required further consideration, and might be detrimental to political action; but as most of the leaders are in favour of the strike policy there can be no doubt that this method of combating war will shortly be the accepted policy of the english labour movement. in carrying out such a policy the labour party expects much help from the growing social and political power of women. the most influential literary advocate of the peace movement, and one of the earliest, has been a woman, the baroness bertha von suttner, and it is held to be incredible that the wives and mothers of the people will use their power to support an institution which represents the most brutal method of destroying their husbands and sons. "the cause of woman," says novikov, "is the cause of peace." "we pay the first cost on all human life," says olive schreiner.[ ] the anti-militarist, as things are at present, exposes himself not only to the penalty of imprisonment, but also to obloquy. he has virtually refused to take up arms in defence of his country; he has sinned against patriotism. this accusation has led to a counter-accusation directed against the very idea of patriotism. here the writings of tolstoy, with their poignant and searching appeals for the cause of humanity as against the cause of patriotism, have undoubtedly served the anti-militarists well, and wherever the war against war is being urged, even so far as japan, tolstoy has furnished some of its keenest weapons. moreover, in so far as anti-militarism is advocated by the workers, they claim that international interests have already effaced and superseded the narrower interests of patriotism. in refusing to fight, the workers of a country are simply declaring their loyalty to fellow-workers on the other side of the frontier, a loyalty which has stronger claims on them, they hold, than any patriotism which simply means loyalty to capitalists; geographical frontiers are giving place to economic frontiers, which now alone serve to separate enemies. and if, as seems probable, when the next attempt is made at a great european war, the order for mobilization is immediately followed in both countries by the declaration of a general strike, there will be nothing to say against such a declaration even from the standpoint of the narrowest patriotism, although there may be much to say on other grounds against the policy of the general strike.[ ] if we realize what is going on around us, it is easy to see that the anti-militarist movement is rapidly reaching a stage when it will be easily able, even unaided, to paralyse any war immediately and automatically. the pioneers in the movement have played the same part as was played in the seventeenth century by the quakers. in the name of the bible and their own consciences, the quakers refused to recognize the right of any secular authority to compel them to worship or to fight; they gained what they struggled for, and now all men honour their memories. in the name of justice and human fraternity, the anti-militarists are to-day taking the like course and suffering the like penalties. to-morrow, they also will be revered as heroes and martyrs. ( ) _the over-growth of armaments._ the hostile forces so far enumerated have converged slowly on to war from such various directions that they may be said to have surrounded and isolated it; its ultimate surrender can only be a matter of time. of late, however, a new factor has appeared, of so urgent a character that it is fast rendering the question of the abolition of war acute: the over-growth of armaments. this is, practically, a modern factor in the situation, and while it is, on the surface, a luxury due to the large surplus of wealth in great modern states, it is also, if we look a little deeper, intimately connected with that decay of the warlike spirit due to selective breeding. it is the weak and timid woman who looks nervously under the bed for the burglar who is the last person she really desires to meet, and it is old, rich, and unwarlike nations which take the lead in laboriously protecting themselves against enemies of whom there is no sign in any quarter. within the last half-century only have the nations of the world begun to compete with each other in this timorous and costly rivalry. in the warlike days of old, armaments in time of peace consisted in little more than solid walls for defence, a supply of weapons stored away here and there, sometimes in a room attached to the parish church, and occasional martial exercises with the sword or the bow, which were little more than an amusement. the true fighting man trusted to his own strong right arm rather than to armaments, and considered that he was himself a match for any half-dozen of the enemy. even in actual time of war it was often difficult to find either zeal or money to supply the munitions of war. the _diary_ of the industrious pepys, who achieved so much for the english navy, shows that the care of the country's ships mainly depended on a few unimportant officials who had the greatest trouble in the world to secure attention to the most urgent and immediate needs. a very difficult state of things prevails to-day. the existence of a party having for its watchword the cry for retrenchment and economy is scarcely possible in a modern state. all the leading political parties in every great state--if we leave aside the party of labour--are equally eager to pile up the expenditure on armaments. it is the boast of each party, not that it spends less, but more, than its rivals on this source of expenditure, now the chief in every large state. moreover, every new step in expenditure involves a still further step; each new improvement in attack or defence must immediately be answered by corresponding or better improvements on the part of rival powers, if they are not to be outclassed. every year these moves and counter-moves necessarily become more extensive, more complex, more costly; while each counter-move involves the obsolescence of the improvements achieved by the previous move, so that the waste of energy and money keeps pace with the expenditure. it is well recognized that there is absolutely no possible limit to this process and its constantly increasing acceleration. there is no need to illustrate this point, for it is familiar to all. any newspaper will furnish facts and figures vividly exemplifying some aspect of the matter. for while only a handful of persons in any country are sincerely anxious under present conditions to reduce the colossal sums every year wasted on the unproductive work of armament; an increasing interest in the matter testifies to a vague alarm and anxiety concerning the ultimate issue. for it is felt that an inevitable crisis lies at the end of the path down which the nations are now moving. thus, from this point of view, the end of war is being attained by a process radically opposite to that by which in the social as well as in the physical organism ancient structures and functions are outgrown. the usual process is a gradual recession to a merely vestigial state. but here what may perhaps be the same ultimate result is being reached by the more alarming method of over-inflation and threatening collapse. it is an alarming process because those huge and heavily armed monsters of primeval days who furnish the zoological types corresponding to our modern over-armed states, themselves died out from the world when their unwieldy armament had reached its final point of expansion. will our own modern states, one wonders, more fortunately succeed in escaping from the tough hides that ever more closely constrict them, and finally save their souls alive? ( ) _the dominance of social reform._ the final factor in the situation is the growing dominance of the process of social reform. on the one hand, the increasing complexity of social organisation renders necessary a correspondingly increasing expenditure of money in diminishing its friction and aiding its elaboration; on the other hand, the still more rapidly increasing demands of armament render it ever more difficult to devote money to such social purposes. everywhere even the most elementary provision for the finer breeding and higher well-being of a country's citizens is postponed to the clamour for ever new armaments. the situation thus created is rapidly becoming intolerable. it is not alone the future of civilization which is for ever menaced by the possibility of war; the past of civilization, with all the precious embodiments of its traditions, is even more fatally imperilled. as the world grows older and the ages recede, the richer, the more precious, the more fragile, become the ancient heirlooms of humanity. they constitute the final symbols of human glory; they cannot be too carefully guarded, too highly valued. but all the other dangers that threaten their integrity and safety, if put together, do not equal war. no land that has ever been a cradle of civilization but bears witness to this sad truth. all the sacred citadels, the glories of humanity,--jerusalem and athens, rome and constantinople,--have been ravaged by war, and, in every case, their ruin has been a disaster that can never be repaired. if we turn to the minor glories of more modern ages, the special treasure of england has been its parish churches, a treasure of unique charm in the world and the embodiment of the people's spirit: to-day in their battered and irreparable condition they are the monuments of a civil war waged all over the country with ruthless religious ferocity. spain, again, was a land which had stored up, during long centuries, nearly the whole of its accumulated possessions in every art, sacred and secular, of fabulous value, within the walls of its great fortress-like cathedrals; napoleon's soldiers over-ran the land, and brought with them rapine and destruction; so that in many a shrine, as at montserrat, we still can see how in a few days they turned a paradise into a desert. it is not only the west that has suffered. in china the rarest and loveliest wares and fabrics that the hand of man has wrought were stored in the imperial palace of pekin; the savage military hordes of the west broke in less than a century ago and recklessly trampled down and fired all that they could not loot. in every such case the loss is final; the exquisite incarnation of some stage in the soul of man that is for ever gone is permanently diminished, deformed, or annihilated. at the present time all civilized countries are becoming keenly aware of the value of their embodied artistic possessions. this is shown, in the most decisive manner possible, by the enormous prices placed upon them. their pecuniary value enables even the stupidest and most unimaginative to realize the crime that is committed when they are ruthlessly and wantonly destroyed. nor is it only the products of ancient art which have to-day become so peculiarly valuable. the products of modern science are only less valuable. so highly complex and elaborate is the mechanism now required to ensure progress in some of the sciences that enormous sums of money, the most delicate skill, long periods of time, are necessary to produce it. galileo could replace his telescope with but little trouble; the destruction of a single modern observatory would be almost a calamity to the human race. such considerations as these are, indeed, at last recognized in all civilized countries. the engines of destruction now placed at the service of war are vastly more potent than any used in the wars of the past. on the other hand, the value of the products they can destroy is raised in a correspondingly high degree. but a third factor is now intervening. and if the museums of paris or the laboratories of berlin were threatened by a hostile army it would certainly be felt that an international power, if it existed, should be empowered to intervene, at whatever cost to national susceptibilities, in order to keep the peace. civilization, we now realize, is wrought out of inspirations and discoveries which are for ever passed and repassed from land to land; it cannot be claimed by any individual land. a nation's art-products and its scientific activities are not mere national property; they are international possessions, for the joy and service of the whole world. the nations hold them in trust for humanity. the international force which will inspire respect for that truth it is our business to create. the only question that remains--and it is a question the future alone will solve--is the particular point at which this ancient and overgrown stronghold of war, now being invested so vigorously from so many sides, will finally be overthrown, whether from within or from without, whether by its own inherent weakness, by the persuasive reasonableness of developing civilization, by the self-interest of the commercial and financial classes, or by the ruthless indignation of the proletariat. that is a problem still insoluble, but it is not impossible that some already living may witness its solution. two centuries ago the abbé de saint-pierre set forth his scheme for a federation of the states of europe, which meant, at that time, a federation of all the civilised states of the world. it was the age of great ideas, scattered abroad to germinate in more practical ages to come. the amiable abbé enjoyed all the credit of his large and philanthropic conceptions. but no one dreamed of realizing them, and the forces which alone could realize them had not yet appeared above the horizon.[ ] in this matter, at all events, the world has progressed, and a federation of the states of the world is no longer the mere conception of a philosophic dreamer. the first step will be taken when two of the leading countries of the world--and it would be most reasonable for the states having the closest community of origin and language to take the initiative--resolve to submit all their differences without reserve to arbitration. as soon as a third power of magnitude joined this federation the nucleus would be constituted of a world state. such a state would be able to impose peace on even the most recalcitrant outside states, for it would furnish that "visible power to keep them in awe," which hobbes rightly declared to be indispensable; it could even, in the last resort, if necessary, enforce peace by war. thus there might still be war in the world. but there would be no wars that were not holy wars. there are other methods than war of enforcing peace, and these such a federation of great states would be easily able to bring to bear on even the most warlike of states, but the necessity of a mighty armed international force would remain for a long time to come. to suppose, as some seem to suppose, that the establishment of arbitration in place of war means immediate disarmament is an idle dream. at conferences of the english labour party on this question, the most active opposition to the proposed strike method for rendering war impossible comes from the delegates representing the workers in arsenals and dockyards. but there is no likelihood of arsenals and dockyards closing in the lifetime of the present workers, and though the establishment of peaceful methods of settling international disputes cannot fail to diminish the number of the workers who live by armament, it will be long before they can be dispensed with altogether. [ ] the abbé de saint-pierre ( - ), a churchman without vocation, was a norman of noble family, and first published his _mémoires pour rendre la paix perpetuelle à l'europe_ in . as siégler-pascal well shows (_les projets de l'abbé dé saint-pierre_, ) he was not a mere visionary utopian, but an acute and far-seeing thinker, practical in his methods, a close observer, an experimentalist, and one of the first to attempt the employment of statistics. he was secretary to the french plenipotentiaries who negotiated the treaty of utrecht, and was thus probably put on the track of his scheme. he proposed that the various european states should name plenipotentiaries to form a permanent tribunal of compulsory arbitration for the settlement of all differences. if any state took up arms against one of the allies, the whole confederation would conjointly enter the field, at their conjoint expense, against the offending state. he was opposed to absolute disarmament, an army being necessary to ensure peace, but it must be a joint army composed of contingents from each power in the confederation. saint-pierre, it will be seen, had clearly grasped the essential facts of the situation as we see them to-day. "the author of _the project of perpetual peace_" concludes prof. pierre robert in a sympathetic summary of his career (petit de julleville, _histoire de la langue et de la littérature française_, vol. vi), "is the precursor of the twentieth century." his statue, we cannot doubt, will be a conspicuous object, beside sully's, on the future palace of any international tribunal. it is, indeed, so common to regard the person who points out the inevitable bankruptcy of war under highly civilized conditions as a mere utopian dreamer, that it becomes necessary to repeat, with all the emphasis necessary, that the settlement of international disputes by law cannot be achieved by disarmament, or by any method not involving force. all law, even the law that settles the disputes of individuals, has force behind it, and the law that is to settle the disputes between nations cannot possibly be effective unless it has behind it a mighty force. i have assumed this from the outset in quoting the dictum of hobbes, but the point seems to be so easily overlooked by the loose thinker that it is necessary to reiterate it. the necessity of force behind the law ordering international relations has, indeed, never been disputed by any sagacious person who has occupied himself with the matter. even william penn, who, though a quaker, was a practical man of affairs, when in he put forward his _essay towards the present and future peace of europe by the establishment of a european diet, parliament or estate_, proposed that if any imperial state refused to submit its pretensions to the sovereign assembly and to abide by its decisions, or took up arms on its own behalf, "all the other sovereignties, united as one strength, shall compel the submission and performance of the sentence, with damages to the suffering party, and charges to the sovereignties that obliged their submission." in repudiating some injudicious and hazardous pacificist considerations put forth by novikov, the distinguished french philosopher, jules de gaultier, points out that law has no rights against war save in force, on which war itself bases its rights. "force _in abstracto_ creates right. it is quite unimaginable that a right should exist which has not been affirmed at some moment as a reality, that is to say a force.... what we glorify under the name of right is only a more intense and habitual state of force which we oppose to a less frequent form of force."[ ] the old quaker and the modern philosopher are thus at one with the practical man in rejecting any form of pacification which rests on a mere appeal to reason and justice. [ ] jules de gaultier, "comment naissent les dogmes," _mercure de france_, st sept., . jules de gaultier also observes that "conflict is the law and condition of all existence." that may be admitted, but it ceases to be true if we assume, as the same thinker assumes, that "conflict" necessarily involves "war." the establishment of law to regulate the disputes between individuals by no means suppresses conflict, but it suppresses fighting, and it ensures that if any fighting occur the aggressor shall not profit by his aggression. in the same way the existence of a tribunal to regulate the disputes between national communities of individuals can by no means suppress conflict; but unless it suppresses fighting, and unless it ensures that if fighting occurs the aggressor shall not profit by his aggression, it will have effected nothing. it cannot be said that the progress of civilization has so far had any tendency to render unnecessary the point of view adopted by penn and jules de gaultier. the acts of states to-day are apt to be just as wantonly aggressive as they ever were, as reckless of reason and of justice. there is no country, however high it may stand in the comity of nations, which is not sometimes carried away by the blind fever of war. france, the land of reason, echoed, only forty years ago, with the mad cry, "À berlin!" england, the friend of the small nationalities, jubilantly, with even an air of heroism, crushed under foot the little south african republics, and hounded down every englishman who withstood the madness of the crowd. the great, free intelligent people of the united states went to war against spain with a childlike faith in the preposterous legend of the blowing up of the _maine_. there is no country which has not some such shameful page in its history, the record of some moment when its moral and intellectual prestige was besmirched in the eyes of the whole world. it pays for its momentary madness, it may valiantly strive to atone for its injustice, but the damaging record remains. the supersession of war is needed not merely in the interests of the victims of aggression; it is needed fully as much in the interests of the aggressors, driven by their own momentary passions, or by the ambitious follies of their rulers, towards crimes for which a terrible penalty is exacted. there has never been any country at every moment so virtuous and so wise that it has not sometimes needed to be saved from itself. for every country has sometimes gone mad, while every other country has looked on its madness with the mocking calm of clear-sighted intelligence, and perhaps with a pharisaical air of virtuous indignation. during the single year of the process was unrolled in its most complete form. the first bad move--though it was a relatively small and inoffensive move--was made by france. the powers, after much deliberation, had come to certain conclusions concerning morocco, and while giving france a predominant influence in that country, had carefully limited her power of action. but france, anxious to increase her hold on the land, sent out, with the usual pretexts, an unnecessary expedition to fez. had an international tribunal with an adequate force behind it been in existence, france would have been called upon to justify her action, and whether she succeeded or failed in such justification, no further evils would have occurred. but there was no force able or willing to call france to account, and the other powers found it a simpler plan to follow her example than to check it. in pursuance of this policy, germany sent a warship to the moroccan port of agadir, using the same pretext as the french, with even less justification. when the supreme military power of the world wags even a finger the whole world is thrown into a state of consternation. that happened on the present occasion, though, as a matter of fact, giants are not given to reckless violence, and germany, far from intending to break the world's peace, merely used her power to take advantage of france's bad move. she agreed to condone france's mistake, and to resign to her the moroccan rights to which neither country had the slightest legitimate claim, in return for an enormous tract of land in another part of africa. now, so far, the game had been played in accordance with rules which, though by no means those of abstract justice, were fairly in accordance with the recognized practices of nations. but now another power was moved to far more openly unscrupulous action. it has long been recognized that if there must be a partition of north africa, italy's share is certainly tripoli. the action of france and of germany stirred up in italy the feeling that now or never was the moment for action, and with brutal recklessness, and the usual pretexts, now flimsier than ever, italy made war on turkey, without offer of mediation, in flagrant violation of her own undertakings at the hague peace convention of . there was now only one mohammedan country left to attack, and it was russia's turn to make the attack. northern persia--the most civilized and fruitful half of persia--had been placed under the protection of russia, and russia, after cynically doing her best to make good government in persia impossible, seized on the pretext of the bad government to invade the country. if the powers of europe had wished to demonstrate the necessity for a great international tribunal, with a mighty force behind it to ensure the observance of its decisions, they could not have devised a more effective demonstration. thus it is that there can be no question of disarmament at present, and that there can be no effective international tribunal unless it has behind it an effective army. a great army must continue to exist apart altogether from the question as to whether the army in itself is a school of virtue or of vice. both these views of its influence have been held in extreme forms, and both seem to be without any great justification. on this point we may perhaps accept the conclusion of professor guérard, who can view the matter from a fairly impartial standpoint, having served in the french army, closely studied the life of the people in london, and occupied a professorial chair in california. he denies that an army is a school of all the vices, but he is also unable to see that it exercises an elevating influence on any but the lowest: "a regiment is not much worse than a big factory. factory life in europe is bad enough; military service extends its evils to agricultural labourers, and also to men who would otherwise have escaped these lowering influences. as for traces of moral uplift in the army, i have totally failed to notice any. war may be a stern school of virtue; barrack life is not. honour, duty, patriotism, are feelings instilled at school; they do not develop, but often deteriorate, during the term of compulsory service."[ ] but, as we have seen, and as guérard admits, it is probable that wars will be abolished generations before armies are suppressed. the question arises what we are to do with our armies. there seem to be at least two ways in which armies may be utilized, as we may already see in france, and perhaps to some slight extent in england. in the first place, the army may be made a great educational agency, an academy of arts and sciences, a school of citizenship. in the second place, armies are tending to become, as william james pointed out, the reserve force of peace, great organized unemployed bodies of men which can be brought into use during sudden emergencies and national disasters. thus the french army performed admirable service during the great seine floods a few years ago, and both in france and in england the army has been called upon to help to carry on public duties indispensable to the welfare of the nation during great strikes, though here it would be unfortunate if the army came to be regarded as a mere strike-breaking corps. along these main lines, however, there are, as guérard has pointed out, signs of a transformation which, while preserving armies for international use, yet point to a compromise between the army and modern democracy. it is feared by some that the reign of universal peace will deprive them of the opportunity of exhibiting daring and heroism. without inquiring too carefully what use has been made of their present opportunities by those who express this fear, it must be said that such a fear is altogether groundless. there are an infinite number of positions in life in which courage is needed, as much as on a battlefield, though, for the most part, with less risk of that total annihilation which in the past has done so much to breed out the courageous stocks. moreover, the certain establishment of peace will immensely enlarge the scope for daring and adventure in the social sphere. there are departments in the higher breeding and social evolution of the race--some perhaps even involving questions of life and death--where the highest courage is needed. it would be premature to discuss them, for they can scarcely enter the field of practical politics until war has been abolished. but those persons who are burning to display heroism may rest assured that the course of social evolution will offer them every opportunity. footnotes: [ ] the respective parts of war and law in the constitution of states are clearly and concisely set forth by edward jenks in his little primer, _a history of politics_. steinmetz, who argues in favour of the preservation of the method of war, in his book _die philosophie des krieges_ (p. ) states that "not a single element of the warlike spirit, not one of the psychic conditions of war, is lacking to the civilized european peoples of to-day." that may well be, although there is much reason to believe that they have all very considerably diminished. such warlike spirit as exists to-day must be considerably discounted by the fact that those who manifest it are not usually the people who would actually have to do the fighting. it is more important to point out (as is done in a historical sketch of warfare by a. sutherland, _nineteenth century_, april, ) that, as a matter of fact, war is becoming both less frequent and less ferocious. in england, for instance, where at one period the population spent a great part of their time in fighting, there has practically been no war for two and a half centuries. when the ancient germans swept through spain (as procopius, who was an eye-witness, tells) they slew every human being they met, including women and children, until millions had perished. the laws of war, though not always observed, are constantly growing more humane, and sutherland estimates that warfare is now less than one-hundredth part as destructive as it was in the early middle ages. [ ] this inevitable extension of the sphere of law from the settlement of disputes between individuals to disputes between individual states has been pointed out before, and is fairly obvious. thus mougins-roquefort, a french lawyer, in his book _de la solution juridique des conflits internationaux_ ( ), observes that in the days of the roman empire, when there was only one civilized state, any system of international relationships was impossible, but that as soon as we have a number of states forming units of international society there at once arises the necessity for a system of international relationships, just as some system of social order is necessary to regulate the relations of any community of individuals. [ ] in england, a small and compact country, this process was completed at a comparatively early date. in france it was not until the days of louis xv (in ) that the "last feudal brigand," as taine calls the marquis de pleumartin in poitou, was captured and beheaded. [ ] france, notwithstanding her military aptitude, has always taken the pioneering part in the pacific movement of civilization. even at the beginning of the fourteenth century france produced an advocate of international arbitration, pierre dubois (petrus de bosco), the norman lawyer, a pupil of thomas aquinas. in the seventeenth century emeric crucé proposed, for the first time, to admit all peoples, without distinction of colour or religion, to be represented at some central city where every state would have its perpetual ambassador, these representatives forming an assembly to adjudicate on international differences (dubois and crucé have lately been studied by prof. vesnitch, _revue d'histoire diplomatique_, january, ). the history of the various peace projects generally has been summarily related by lagorgette in _le rôle de la guerre_, , part iv, chap. vi. [ ] the same points had previously been brought forward by others, although not so vigorously enforced. thus the well-known belgian economist and publicist, emile de laveleye, pointed out (_pall mall gazette_, th august, ) that "the happiest countries are incontestably the smallest: switzerland, norway, luxembourg, and still more the republics of san marino and val d'andorre"; and that "countries in general, even when victorious, do not profit by their conquests." [ ] bismarck himself declared that without the deep shame of the german defeat at jena in the revival of german national feeling would have been impossible. [ ] d. starr jordan, the human harvest, ; j. novikov, la guerre et ses prétendus bienfaits, , chap. iv; novikov here argued that the selection of war eliminates not the feeble but the strong, and tends to produce, therefore, a survival of the unfittest. [ ] "the most demoralizing features in french military life," says professor guérard, a highly intelligent observer, "are due to an incontestable progress in the french mind--its gradual loss of faith and interest in military glory. henceforth the army is considered as useless, dangerous, a burden without a compensation. authors of school books may be censured for daring to print such opinions, but the great majority of the french hold them in their hearts. nay, there is a prevailing suspicion among working men that the military establishment is kept up for the sole benefit of the capitalists, and the reckless use of troops in case of labour conflicts gives colour to the contention." it has often happened that what the french think to-day the world generally thinks to-morrow. there is probably a world-wide significance in the fact that french experience is held to show that progress in intelligence means the demoralization of the army. [ ] the influence of syndicalism has, however, already reached the english labour movement, and an ill-advised prosecution by the english government must have immensely aided in extending and fortifying that influence. [ ] some small beginnings have already been made. "the greatest gain ever yet won for the cause of peace," writes mr. h.w. nevinson, the well-known war correspondent (_peace and war in the balance_, p. ), "was the refusal of the catalonian reservists to serve in the war against the riff mountaineers of morocco in july, .... so barcelona flared to heaven, and for nearly a week the people held the vast city. i have seen many noble, as well as many terrible, events, but none more noble or of finer promise than the sudden uprising of the catalan working people against a dastardly and inglorious war, waged for the benefit of a few speculators in paris and madrid." [ ] j. novikov, _le fédération de l'europe_, chap. iv. olive schreiner, _woman and labour_, chap. iv. while this is the fundamental fact, we must remember that we cannot generalize about the ideas or the feelings of a whole sex, and that the biological traditions of women have been associated with a primitive period when they were the delighted spectators of combats. "woman," thought nietzsche, "is essentially unpeaceable, like the cat, however well she may have assumed the peaceable demeanour." steinmetz (_philosophie des krieges_, p. ), remarking that women are opposed to war in the abstract, adds: "in practice, however, it happens that women regard a particular war--and all wars are particular wars--with special favour"; he remarks that the majority of englishwomen fully shared the war fever against the boers, and that, on the other side, he knew dutch ladies in holland, very opposed to war, who would yet have danced with joy at that time on the news of a declaration of war against england. [ ] the general strike, which has been especially developed by the syndicalist labour movement, and is now tending to spread to various countries, is a highly powerful weapon, so powerful that its results are not less serious than those of war. to use it against war seems to be to cast out beelzebub by beelzebub. even in labour disputes the modern strike threatens to become as serious and, indeed, almost as sanguinary as the civil wars of ancient times. the tendency is, therefore, in progressive countries, as we see in australia, to supersede strikes by conciliation and arbitration, just as war is tending to be superseded by international tribunals. these two aims are, however, absolutely distinct, and the introduction of law into the disputes between nations can have no direct effect on the disputes between social classes. it is quite possible, however, that it may have an indirect effect, and that when disputes between nations are settled in an orderly manner, social feeling will forbid disputes between classes to be settled in a disorderly manner. [ ] the abbé de saint-pierre ( - ), a churchman without vocation, was a norman of noble family, and first published his mémoires pour rendre la paix perpetuelle à l'europe in . as siégler-pascal well shows (les projets de l'abbé dé saint-pierre, ) he was not a mere visionary utopian, but an acute and far-seeing thinker, practical in his methods, a close observer, an experimentalist, and one of the first to attempt the employment of statistics. he was secretary to the french plenipotentiaries who negotiated the treaty of utrecht, and was thus probably put on the track of his scheme. he proposed that the various european states should name plenipotentiaries to form a permanent tribunal of compulsory arbitration for the settlement of all differences. if any state took up arms against one of the allies, the whole confederation would conjointly enter the field, at their conjoint expense, against the offending state. he was opposed to absolute disarmament, an army being necessary to ensure peace, but it must be a joint army composed of contingents from each power in the confederation. saint-pierre, it will be seen, had clearly grasped the essential facts of the situation as we see them to-day. "the author of the project of perpetual peace" concludes prof. pierre robert in a sympathetic summary of his career (petit de julleville, histoire de la langue et de la littérature française, vol. vi), "is the precursor of the twentieth century." his statue, we cannot doubt, will be a conspicuous object, beside sully's, on the future palace of any international tribunal. [ ] jules de gaultier, "comment naissent les dogmes," mercure de france, st sept., . jules de gaultier also observes that "conflict is the law and condition of all existence." that may be admitted, but it ceases to be true if we assume, as the same thinker assumes, that "conflict" necessarily involves "war." the establishment of law to regulate the disputes between individuals by no means suppresses conflict, but it suppresses fighting, and it ensures that if any fighting occur the aggressor shall not profit by his aggression. in the same way the existence of a tribunal to regulate the disputes between national communities of individuals can by no means suppress conflict; but unless it suppresses fighting, and unless it ensures that if fighting occurs the aggressor shall not profit by his aggression, it will have effected nothing. [ ] a.l. guérard, "impressions of military life in france," _popular science monthly_, april, . xi the problem of an international language early attempts to construct an international language--the urgent need of an auxiliary language to-day--volapük--the claims of spanish--latin--the claims of english--its disadvantages--the claims of french--its disadvantages--the modern growth of national feeling opposed to selection of a natural language--advantages of an artificial language--demands it must fulfil--esperanto--its threatened disruption--the international association for the adoption of an auxiliary international language--the first step to take. ever since the decay of latin as the universal language of educated people, there have been attempts to replace it by some other medium of international communication. that decay was inevitable; it was the outward manifestation of a movement of individualism which developed national languages and national literatures, and burst through the restraining envelope of an authoritarian system expounded in an official language. this individualism has had the freest play, and we are not likely to lose all that it has given us. yet as soon as it was achieved the more distinguished spirits in every country began to feel the need of counterbalancing it. the history of the movement may be said to begin with descartes, who in wrote to his friend mersenne that it would be possible to construct an artificial language which could be used as an international medium of communication. leibnitz, though he had solved the question for himself, writing some of his works in latin and others in french, was yet all his life more or less occupied with the question of a universal language. other men of the highest distinction--pascal, condillac, voltaire, diderot, ampère, jacob grimm--have sought or desired a solution to this problem.[ ] none of these great men, however, succeeded even in beginning an attempt to solve the problem they were concerned with. some forty years ago, however, the difficulty began again to be felt, this time much more keenly and more widely than before. the spread of commerce, the facility of travel, the ramifications of the postal service, the development of new nationalities and new literatures, have laid upon civilized peoples a sense of burden and restriction which could never have been felt by their forefathers in the previous century. added to this, a new sense of solidarity had been growing up in the world; the financial and commercial solidarity, by which any disaster or disturbance in one country causes a wave of disaster or disturbance to pass over the whole civilized globe, was being supplemented by a sense of spiritual solidarity. men began to realize that the tasks of civilization cannot be carried out except by mutual understanding and mutual sympathy among the more civilized nations, that every nation has something to learn from other nations, and that the bonds of international intercourse must thus be drawn closer. this feeling of the need of an international language led in america to several serious attempts to obtain a consensus of opinion among scientific men regarding an international language. thus in the philosophical society of philadelphia, the oldest of american learned societies, unanimously resolved, on the initiative of brinton, to address a letter to learned societies throughout the world, asking for their co-operation in perfecting a language for commercial and learned purposes, based on the aryan vocabulary and grammar in their simplest forms, and to that end proposing an international congress, the first meeting of which should be held in paris or london. in the same year horatio hale read a paper on the same subject before the american association for the advancement of science. a little later, in , it was again proposed at a meeting of the same association that, in order to consider the question of the construction and adoption of a symmetrical and scientific language, a congress should be held, delegates being in proportion to the number of persons speaking each language. these excellent proposals seem, however, to have borne little fruit. it is always an exceedingly difficult matter to produce combined action among scientific societies even of the same nation. thus the way has been left open for individuals to adopt the easier but far less decisive or satisfactory method of inventing a new language by their own unaided exertions. certainly over a hundred such languages have been proposed during the past century. the most famous of these was undoubtedly volapük, which was invented in by schleyer, a german-swiss priest who knew many languages and had long pondered over this problem, but who was not a scientific philologist; the actual inception of the language occurred in a dream. volapük was almost the first real attempt at an organic language capable of being used for the oral transmission of thought. on this account, no doubt, it met with great and widespread success; it was actively taken up by a professor at paris, societies were formed for its propagation, journals and hundreds of books were published in it; its adherents were estimated at a million. but its success, though brilliant, was short-lived. in , when the third volapük congress was held, it was at the height of its success, but thereafter dissension arose, and its reputation suddenly collapsed. no one now speaks volapük; it is regarded as a hideous monstrosity, even by those who have the most lively faith in artificial languages. its inventor has outlived his language, and, like it, has been forgotten by the world, though his achievement was a real step towards the solution of the problem. the collapse of volapük discouraged thoughtful persons from expecting any solution of the problem in an artificial language. it seemed extremely improbable that any invented language, least of all the unaided product of a single mind, could ever be generally accepted, or be worthy of general acceptance, as an international mode of communication. such a language failed to carry the prestige necessary to overcome the immense inertia which any attempt to adopt it would meet with. invented languages, the visionary schemes of idealists, apparently received no support from practical men of affairs. it seemed to be among actual languages, living or dead, that we might most reasonably expect to find a medium of communication likely to receive wide support. the difficulty then lay in deciding which language should be selected. russian had sometimes been advocated as the universal language for international purposes, and it is possible to point to the enormous territory of russia, its growing power and the fact that russian is the real or official language of a larger number of people than any other language except english. but russian is so unlike the latin and teutonic tongues, used by the majority of european peoples; it is so complicated, so difficult to acquire, and, moreover, so lacking in concision that it has never had many enthusiastic advocates. the virtues and defects of spanish, which has found many enthusiastic supporters, are of an opposite character. it is an admirably vigorous and euphonious language, on a sound phonetic basis, every letter always standing for a definite sound; the grammar is simple and exceptionally free from irregularities, and it is the key to a great literature. billroth, the distinguished austrian surgeon, advocated the adoption of spanish; he regarded english as really more suitable, but, he pointed out, it is so difficult for the latin races to speak non-latin tongues that a romance language is essential, and spanish is the simplest and most logical of the romance tongues.[ ] it is, moreover, spoken by a vast number of people in south america and elsewhere. a few enthusiasts have advocated greek, and have supported their claim with the argument that it is still a living language. but although greek is the key to a small but precious literature, and is one of the sources of latter-day speech and scientific terminology, it is difficult, it is without special adaptation to modern uses, and there are no adequate reasons why it should be made an international language. latin cannot be dismissed quite so hastily. it has in its favour the powerful argument that it has once already been found adequate to serve as the universal language. there is a widespread opinion to-day among the medical profession--the profession most actively interested in the establishment of a universal language--that latin should be adopted, and before the international medical congress at rome in , a petition to this effect was presented by some eight hundred doctors in india.[ ] it is undoubtedly an admirable language, expressive, concentrated, precise. but the objections are serious. the relative importance of latin to-day is very far from what it was a thousand years ago, for conditions have wholly changed. there is now no great influence, such as the catholic church was of old, to enforce latin, even if it possessed greater advantages. and the advantages are very mixed. latin is a wholly dead tongue, and except in a degenerate form not by any means an easy one to learn, for its genius is wholly opposed to the genius even of those modern languages which are most closely allied to it. the world never returns on its own path. although the prestige of latin is still enormous, a language could only be brought from death to life by some widespread motor force; such a force no longer exists behind latin. there remain english and french, and these are undoubtedly the two natural languages most often put forward--even outside england and france--as possessing the best claims for adoption as auxiliary international mediums of communication. english, especially, was claimed by many, some twenty years ago, to be not merely the auxiliary language of the future, but the universal language which must spread all over the world and supersede and drive out all others by a kind of survival of the fittest. this notion of a universal language is now everywhere regarded as a delusion, but at that time there was still thought by many to be a kind of special procreative activity in the communities of anglo-saxon origin which would naturally tend to replace all other peoples, both the people and the language being regarded as the fittest to survive.[ ] english was, however, rightly felt to be a language with very great force behind it, being spoken by vast communities possessing a peculiarly energetic and progressive temperament, and with much power of peaceful penetration in other lands. it is generally acknowledged also that english fully deserves to be ranked as one of the first of languages by its fine aptitude for powerful expression, while at the same time it is equally fitted for routine commercial purposes. the wide extension of english and its fine qualities have often been emphasized, and it is unnecessary to dwell on them here. the decision of the scientific societies of the world to use english for bibliographical purposes is not entirely a tribute to english energy in organization, but to the quality of the language. one finds, indeed, that these facts are widely recognized abroad, in france and elsewhere, though i have noted that those who foretell the conquest of english, even when they are men of intellectual distinction and able to read english, are often quite unable to speak it or to understand it when spoken. that brings us to a point which is overlooked by those who triumphantly pointed to the natural settlement of this question by the swamping of other tongues in the overflowing tide of english speech. english is the most concise and laconic of the great languages. greek, french and german are all more expansive, more syllabically copious. latin alone may be said to equal, or surpass english in concentration, because, although latin words are longer on the average, by their greater inflection they cover a larger number of english words. this power of english to attain expression with a minimum expenditure of energy in written speech is one of its chief claims to succeed latin as the auxiliary international language. but it furnishes no claim to preference for actual speaking, in which this economy of energy ceases to be a supreme virtue, since here we have also to admit the virtues of easy intelligibility and of persuasiveness. greek largely owed its admirable fitness for speech to the natural richness and prolongation of its euphonious words, which allowed the speaker to attain the legitimate utterance of his thought without pauses or superfluous repetition. french, again, while by no means inapt for concentration, as the _pensée_ writers show, most easily lends itself to effects that are meant for speech, as in bossuet, or that recall speech, as in mme de sevigné in one order of literature, or renan in another. but at rome, we feel, the spoken tongue had a difficulty to overcome, and the mellifluously prolonged rhetoric of cicero, delightful as it may be, scarcely seems to reveal to us the genius of the latin tongue. the inaptitude of english for the purposes of speech is even more conspicuous, and is again well illustrated in our oratory. gladstone was an orator of acknowledged eloquence, but the extreme looseness and redundancy into which his language was apt to fall in the effort to attain the verbose richness required for the ends of spoken speech, reveals too clearly the poverty of english from this point of view. the same tendency is also illustrated by the vain re-iterations of ordinary speakers. the english intellect, with all its fine qualities, is not sufficiently nimble for either speaker or hearer to keep up with the swift brevity of the english tongue. it is a curious fact that great britain takes the lead in europe in the prevalence of stuttering; the language is probably a factor in this evil pre-eminence, for it appears that the chinese, whose language is powerfully rhythmic, never stutter. one authority has declared that "no nation in the civilized world speaks its language so abominably as the english." we can scarcely admit that this english difficulty of speech is the result of some organic defect in english nervous systems; the language itself must be a factor in the matter. i have found, when discussing the point with scientific men and others abroad, that the opinion prevails that it is usually difficult to follow a speaker in english. this experience may, indeed, be considered general. while an admirably strong and concise language, english is by no means so adequate in actual speech; it is not one of the languages which can be heard at a long distance, and, moreover, it lends itself in speaking to so many contractions that are not used in writing--so many "can'ts" and "won'ts" and "don'ts," which suit english taciturnity, but slur and ruin english speech--that english, as spoken, is almost a different language from that which excites admiration when written. so that the exclusive use of english for international purposes would not be the survival of the fittest so far as a language for speaking purposes is concerned. moreover, it must be remembered that english is not a democratic language. it is not, like the chief romance languages and the chief teutonic languages, practically homogeneous, made out of one block. it is formed by the mixture of two utterly unlike elements, one aristocratic, the other plebeian. ever since the norman lord came over to england a profound social inequality has become rooted in the very language. in french, _boeuf_ and _mouton_ and _veau_ and _porc_ have always been the same for master and for man, in the field and on the table; the animal has never changed its plebeian name for an aristocratic name as it passed through the cook's hands. that example is typical of the curious mark which the norman conquest left on our speech, rendering it so much more difficult for us than for the french to attain equality of social intercourse. inequality is stamped indelibly into our language as into no other great language. of course, from the literary point of view, that is all gain, and has been of incomparable aid to our poets in helping them to reach their most magnificent effects, as we may see conspicuously in shakespeare's enormous vocabulary. but from the point of view of equal social intercourse, this wealth of language is worse than lost, it is disastrous. the old feudal distinctions are still perpetuated; the "man" still speaks his "plain anglo-saxon," and the "gentleman" still speaks his refined latinized speech. in every language, it is true, there are social distinctions in speech, and every language has its slang. but in english these distinctions are perpetuated in the very structure of the language. elsewhere the working-class speak--with a little difference in the quality--a language needing no substantial transformation to become the language of society, which differs from it in quality rather than in kind. but the english working man feels the need to translate his common anglo-saxon speech into foreign words of latin origin. it is difficult for the educated person in england to understand the struggle which the uneducated person goes through to speak the language of the educated, although the unsatisfactory result is sufficiently conspicuous. but we can trace the operation of a similar cause in the hesitancy of the educated man himself when he attempts to speak in public and is embarrassed by the search for the set of words most suited for dignified purposes. most of those who regarded english as the coming world-language admitted that it would require improvement for general use. the extensive and fundamental character of the necessary changes is not, however, realized. the difficulties of english are of four kinds: ( ) its special sounds, very troublesome for foreigners to learn to pronounce, and the uncertainty of its accentuation; ( ) its illogical and chaotic spelling, inevitably leading to confusions in pronunciation; ( ) the grammatical irregularities in its verbs and plural nouns; and ( ) the great number of widely different words which are almost or quite similar in pronunciation. a vast number of absurd pitfalls are thus prepared for the unwary user of english. he must remember that the plural of "mouse" is "mice," but that the plural of "house" is not "hice," that he may speak of his two "sons," but not of his two "childs"; he will indistinguishably refer to "sheeps" and "ships"; and like the preacher a little unfamiliar with english who had chosen a well-known text to preach on, he will not remember whether "plough" is pronounced "pluff" or "plo,"[ ] and even a phonetic spelling system would render still more confusing the confusion between such a series of words as "hair," "hare," "heir," "are," "ere" and "eyre." many of these irregularities are deeply rooted in the structure of the language; it would be an extremely difficult as well as extensive task to remove them, and when the task was achieved the language would have lost much of its character and savour; it would clash painfully with literary english. thus even if we admitted that english ought to be the international language of the future, the result is not so satisfactory from a british point of view as is usually taken for granted. all other civilized nations would be bilingual; they would possess the key not only to their own literature, but to a great foreign literature with all the new horizons that a foreign literature opens out. the english-speaking countries alone would be furnished with only one language, and would have no stimulus to acquire any other language, for no other language would be of any practical use to them. all foreigners would be in a position to bring to the english-speaking man whatever information they considered good for him. at first sight this seems a gain for the english-speaking peoples, because they would thus be spared a certain expenditure of energy; but a very little reflection shows that such a saving of energy is like that effected by the intestinal parasitic worm who has digested food brought ready to his mouth. it leads to degeneracy. not the people whose language is learnt, but the people who learn a language reap the benefit, spiritual and material. it is now admitted in the commercial world that the ardour of the germans in learning english has brought more advantage to the germans than to the english. moreover, the high intellectual level of small nations at the present time is due largely to the fact that all their educated members must be familiar with one or two languages besides their own. the great defect of the english mind is insularity; the virtue of its boisterous energy is accompanied by lack of insight into the differing virtues of other peoples. if the natural course of events led to the exclusive use of english for international communication, this defect would be still more accentuated. the immense value of becoming acquainted with a foreign language is that we are thereby led into a new world of tradition and thought and feeling. before we know a new language truly, we have to realize that the words which at first seem equivalent to words in our own language often have a totally different atmosphere, a different rank or dignity from that which they occupy in our own language. it is in learning this difference in the moral connotation of a language and its expression in literature that we reap the real benefit of knowing a foreign tongue. there is no other way--not even residence in a foreign land if we are ignorant of the language--to take us out of the customary circle of our own traditions. it imparts a mental flexibility and emotional sympathy which no other discipline can yield. to ordain that all non-english-speaking peoples should learn english in addition to their mother tongue, and to render it practically unnecessary for english-speakers (except the small class of students) to learn any other language, would be to confer an immense boon on the first group of peoples, doubling their mental and emotional capacity; it is to render the second group hidebound. when we take a broad and impartial survey of the question we thus see that there is reason to believe that, while english is an admirable literary language (this is the ground that its eulogists always take), and sufficiently concise for commercial purposes, it is by no means an adequate international tongue, especially for purposes of oral speech, and, moreover, its exclusive use for this purpose would be a misfortune for the nations already using it, since they would be deprived of that mental flexibility and emotional sympathy which no discipline can give so well as knowledge of a living foreign tongue. many who realized these difficulties put forward french as the auxiliary international language. it is quite true that the power behind french is now relatively less than it was two centuries ago.[ ] at that time france by its relatively large population, the tradition of its military greatness, and its influential political position, was able to exert an immense influence; french was the language of intellect and society in germany, in england, in russia, everywhere in fact. during the eighteenth century internal maladministration, the cataclysm of the revolution, and finally the fatal influence of napoleon alienated foreign sympathy, and france lost her commanding position. yet it was reasonably felt that, if a natural language is to be used for international purposes, after english there is no practicable alternative to french. french is the language not indeed in any special sense of science or of commerce, but of the finest human culture. it is a well-organized tongue, capable of the finest shades of expression, and it is the key to a great literature. in most respects it is the best favoured child of latin; it commends itself to all who speak romance languages, and, as alphonse de candolle has remarked, a spaniard and an italian know three-quarters of french beforehand, and every one who has learnt latin knows half of french already. it is more admirably adapted for speaking purposes than perhaps any other language which has any claim to be used for international purposes, as we should expect of the tongue spoken by a people who have excelled in oratory, who possess such widely diffused dramatic ability, and who have carried the arts of social intercourse to the highest point. paris remains for most people the intellectual capital of europe; french is still very generally used for purposes of intercommunication throughout europe, while the difficulty experienced by all but germans and russians in learning english is well known. li hung chang is reported to have said that, while for commercial reasons english is far more widely used in china than french, the chinese find french a much easier language to learn to speak, and the preferences of the chinese may one day count for a good deal--in one direction or another--in the world's progress. one frequently hears that the use of french for international purposes is decaying; this is a delusion probably due to the relatively slow growth of the french-speaking races and to various temporary political causes. it is only necessary to look at the large international medical congresses. thus at one such congress at rome, at which i was present, over six thousand members came from forty-two countries of the globe, and over two thousand of them took part in the proceedings. four languages (italian, french, german and english) were used at this congress. going over the seven large volumes of transactions, i find that fifty-nine communications were presented in english, one hundred and seventy-one in german, three hundred and one in french, the rest in italian. the proportion of english communications to german is thus a little more than one to three, and the proportion of english to french less than one to six. moreover, the english-speaking members invariably (i believe) used their own language, so that these fifty-nine communications represent the whole contribution of the english-speaking world. and they represent nothing more than that; notwithstanding the enormous spread of english, of which we hear so much, not a single non-english speaker seems to have used english. it might be supposed that this preponderance of french was due to a preponderance of the french element, but this was by no means the case; the members of english-speaking race greatly exceeded those of french-speaking race. but, while the english communications represented the english-speaking countries only, and the german communications were chiefly by german speakers, french was spoken not only by members belonging to the smaller nations of europe, from the north and from the south, by the russians, by most of the turkish and asiatic members, but also by all the mexicans and south americans. these figures may not be absolutely free from fallacy, due to temporary causes of fluctuation. but that they are fairly exact is shown by the results of the following congress, held at moscow. if i take up the programme for the department of psychiatry and nervous disease, in which i was myself chiefly interested, i find that of communications, were in french, in german and in english. this shows that french, german and english bear almost exactly the same relation to one another as at rome. in other words, per cent of the speakers used french, per cent german, and only per cent english. if we come down to one of the most recent international medical congresses, that of lisbon in , we find that the supremacy of french, far from weakening, is more emphatically affirmed. the language of the country in which the congress was held was ruled out, and i find that of contributions to the proceedings of the congress, over per cent were in french, scarcely more than per cent in english, and less than per cent in german. at the subsequent congress at budapesth in , the french contributions were to the english as three to one. similar results are shown by other international congresses. thus at the third international congress of psychology, held at munich, there were four official languages, and on grounds of locality the majority of communications were in german; french followed with , italian with , and english brought up the rear with . dr. westermarck, who is the stock example of the spread of english for international purposes, spoke in german. it is clearly futile to point to figures showing the prolific qualities of english races; the moral quality of a race and its language counts, as well as mere physical capacity for breeding, and the moral influence of french to-day is immensely greater than that of english. that is, indeed, scarcely a fair statement of the matter in view of the typical cases just quoted; one should rather say that, as a means of spoken international communication for other than commercial purposes, english is nowhere. there is one other point which serves to give prestige to french: its literary supremacy in the modern world. while some would claim for the english the supreme poetic literature, there can be no doubt that the french own the supreme prose literature of modern europe. it was felt by those who advocated the adoption of english or french that it would surely be a gain for human progress if the auxiliary international languages of the future should be one, if not both, of two that possess great literatures, and which embody cultures in some respects allied, but in most respects admirably supplementing each other.[ ] the collapse of volapük stimulated the energy of those who believed that the solution of the question lay in the adoption of a natural language. to-day, however, there are few persons who, after carefully considering the matter, regard this solution as probable or practicable.[ ] considerations of two orders seem now to be decisive in rejecting the claims of english and french, or, indeed, any other natural language, to be accepted as an international language: ( ) the vast number of peculiarities, difficulties, and irregularities, rendering necessary so revolutionary a change for international purposes that the language would be almost transformed into an artificial language, and perhaps not even then an entirely satisfactory one. ( ) the extraordinary development during recent years of the minor national languages, and the jealousy of foreign languages which this revival has caused. this latter factor is probably alone fatal to the adoption of any living language. it can scarcely be disputed that neither english nor french occupies to-day so relatively influential a position as it once occupied. the movement against the use of french in roumania, as detrimental to the national language, is significant of a widespread feeling, while, as regards english, the introduction by the germans into commerce of the method of approaching customers in their own tongue, has rendered impossible the previous english custom of treating english as the general language of commerce. the natural languages, it became realized, fail to answer to the requirements which must be made of an auxiliary international language. the conditions which have to be fulfilled are thus formulated by anna roberts:[ ] "_first_, a vocabulary having a maximum of internationality in its root-words for at least the indo-european races, living or bordering on the confines of the old roman empire, whose vocabularies are already saturated with greek and latin roots, absorbed during the long centuries of contact with greek and roman civilization. as the centre of gravity of the world's civilization now stands, this seems the most rational beginning. such a language shall then have: "_second_, a grammatical structure stripped of all the irregularities found in every existing tongue, and that shall be simpler than any of them. it shall have: "_third_, a single, unalterable sound for each letter, no silent letters, no difficult, complex, shaded sounds, but simple primary sounds, capable of being combined into harmonious words, which latter shall have but a single stress accent that never shifts. "_fourth_, mobility of structure, aptness for the expression of complex ideas, but in ways that are grammatically simple, and by means of words that can easily be analysed without a dictionary. "_fifth_, it must be capable of being, not merely a literary language,[ ] but a spoken tongue, having a pronunciation that can be perfectly mastered by adults through the use of manuals, and in the absence of oral teachers. "_finally_, and as a necessary corollary and complement to all of the above, this international auxiliary language must, to be of general utility, be exceedingly easy of acquisition by persons of but moderate education, and hitherto conversant with no language but their own." thus the way was prepared for the favourable reception of a new artificial language, which had in the meanwhile been elaborated. dr. zamenhof, a russian physician living at warsaw, had been from youth occupied with the project of an international language, and in he put forth in french his scheme for a new language to be called esperanto. the scheme attracted little notice; volapük was then at the zenith of its career, and when it fell, its fall discredited all attempts at an artificial language. but, like volapük, esperanto found its great apostle in france. m. louis de beaufront brought his high ability and immense enthusiasm to the work of propaganda, and the success of esperanto in the world is attributed in large measure to him. the extension of esperanto is now threatening to rival that of volapük. many years ago max müller, and subsequently skeat, notwithstanding the philologist's prejudice in favour of natural languages, expressed their approval of esperanto, and many persons of distinction, moving in such widely remote spheres as tolstoy and sir william ramsay, have since signified their acceptance and their sympathy. esperanto congresses are regularly held, esperanto societies and esperanto consulates are established in many parts of the world, a great number of books and journals are published in esperanto, and some of the world's classics have been translated into it. it is generally recognized that esperanto represents a great advance on volapük. yet there are already signs that esperanto is approaching the climax of its reputation, and that possibly its inventor may share the fate of the inventor of volapük and outlive his own language. the most serious attack on esperanto has come from within. the most intelligent esperantists have realized the weakness and defects of their language (in some measure due to the inevitable slavonic prepossessions of its inventor) and demand radical reforms, which the conservative party resist. even m. de beaufront, to whom its success was largely due, has abandoned primitive esperanto, and various scientific men of high distinction in several countries now advocate the supersession of esperanto by an improved language based upon it and called ido. professor lorenz, who is among the advocates of ido, admits that esperanto has shown the possibility of a synthetic language, but states definitely that "according to the concordant testimony of all unbiased opinions" esperanto in no wise represents the final solution of the problem. this new movement is embodied in the délégation pour l'adoption d'une langue auxiliaire internationale, founded in paris during the international exhibition in by various eminent literary and scientific men, and having its head-quarters in paris. the délégation consider that the problem demands a purely scientific and technical solution, and it is claimed that per cent of the stems of ido are common to six languages: german, english, french, italian, russian and spanish. the délégation appear to have approached the question with a fairly open mind, and it was only after study of the subject that they finally reached the conclusion that esperanto contained a sufficient number of good qualities to furnish a basis on which to work.[ ] the general programme of the délégation is that ( ) an auxiliary international language is required, adapted to written and oral language between persons of different mother tongues; ( ) such language must be capable of serving the needs of science, daily life, commerce, and general intercourse, and must be of such a character that it may easily be learnt by persons of average elementary education, especially those of civilized european nationality; ( ) the decision to rest with the international association of academies, and, in case of their refusal, with the committee of the délégation.[ ] the délégation is seeking to bring about an official international congress which would either itself or through properly appointed experts establish an internationally and officially recognized auxiliary language. the chief step made in this direction has been the formation at berne in of an international association whose object is to take immediate steps towards bringing the question before the governments of europe. the association is pledged to observe a strict neutrality in regard to the language to be chosen. the whole question seems thus to have been placed on a sounder basis than hitherto. the international language of the future cannot be, and ought not to be, settled by a single individual seeking to impose his own invention on the world. this is not a matter for zealous propaganda of an almost religious character. the hasty and premature adoption of some privately invented language merely retards progress. no individual can settle the question by himself. what we need is calm study and deliberation between the nations and the classes chiefly concerned, acting through the accredited representatives of their governments and other professional bodies. nothing effective can be done until the pressure of popular opinion has awakened governments and scientific societies to the need for action. the question of international arbitration has become practical; the question of the international language ought to go hand in hand with that of international arbitration. they are closely allied and both equally necessary. while the educational, commercial, and official advantages of an auxiliary international language are obvious, it seems to me that from the standpoint of social hygiene there are at least three interests which are especially and deeply concerned in the settlement of this question. the first and chief is that of international democracy in its efforts to attain an understanding on labour questions. there can be no solution of this question until a simpler mode of personal communication has become widely prevalent. this matter has from time to time already been brought before international labour congresses, and those who attend such congresses have doubtless had occasion to realize how essential it is. perhaps it is a chief factor in the comparative failure of such congresses hitherto. science represents the second great interest which has shown an active concern in the settlement of this question. to follow up any line of scientific research is already a sufficiently gigantic work, on account of the absence of proper bibliographical organization; it becomes almost overwhelming now that the search has to extend over at least half a dozen languages, and still leaves the searcher a stranger to the important investigations which are appearing in russian and in japanese, and will before long appear in other languages. sir michael foster once drew a humorous picture of the woes of the physiologist owing to these causes. in other fields--especially in the numerous branches of anthropological research, as i can myself bear witness--the worker is even worse off than the physiologist. just now science is concentrating its energies on the organization of bibliography, but much attention has been given to this question of an international language from time to time, and it is likely before long to come pressingly to the front. the medical profession is also practically concerned in this question; hitherto it has, indeed, taken a more lively interest in the effort to secure an international language than has pure science. it is of the first importance that new discoveries and methods in medicine and hygiene should be rendered immediately accessible; while the now enormously extended domain of medicine is full of great questions which can only be solved by international co-operation on an international basis. the responsibility of advocating a number of measures affecting the well-being of communities lies, in the first place, with the medical profession; but no general agreement is possible without full facilities for discussion in international session. this has been generally recognized; hence the numerous attempts to urge a single language on the organizers of the international medical congresses. i have already observed how large and active these congresses were. yet it cannot be said that any results are achieved commensurate with the world-wide character of such congresses. partly this is due to the fact that the organizers of international congresses have not yet learnt what should be the scope of such conferences, and what they may legitimately hope to perform; but very largely because there is no international method of communication; and, except for a few seasoned cosmopolitans, no truly international exchange of opinions takes place. this can only be possible when we have a really common and familiar method of intercommunication. these three interests--democratic, scientific, medical--seem at present those chiefly concerned in the task of putting this matter on a definite basis, and it is much to be desired that they should come to some common agreement. they represent three immensely important modes of social and intellectual activity, and the progress of every nation is bound up with an international progress of which they are now the natural pioneers. it cannot be too often repeated that the day has gone by when any progress worthy of the name can be purely national. all the most vital questions of national progress tend to merge themselves into international questions. but before any question of international progress can result in anything but noisy confusion, we need a recognized mode of international intelligence and communication. that is why the question of the auxiliary international language is of actual and vital interest to all who are concerned with the tasks of social hygiene. the question on international coinage it must be remembered that the international auxiliary language is an organic part of a larger internationalization which must inevitably be effected, and is indeed already coming into being. two related measures of intercommunication are an international system of postage stamps, and an international coinage, to which may be added an international system of weights and measures, which seems to be already in course of settlement by the increasingly general adoption of the metric system. the introduction of the exchangeable international stamp coupon represents the beginning of a truly international postal system; but it is only a beginning. if a completely developed international postal system were incidentally to deliver some nations, and especially the english, from the depressingly ugly postage stamps they are now condemned to use, this reform would possess a further advantage almost as great as its practical utility. an international coinage is, again, a prime necessity, which would possess immense commercial advantages in addition to the great saving of trouble it would effect. the progress of civilization is already working towards an international coinage. in an interesting paper on this subject ("international coinage," _popular science monthly_, march, ) t.f. van wagenen writes; "each in its way, the great commercial nations of the day are unconsciously engaged in the task. the english shilling is working northwards from the cape of good hope, has already come in touch with the german mark and the portuguese peseta which have been introduced on both the east and west sides of the continent, and will in due time meet the french franc and italian lira coming south from the shores of the mediterranean. in asia, the indian rupee, the russian rouble, the japanese yen, and the american-philippine coins are already competing for the patronage of the malay and the chinaman. in south america neither american nor european coins have any foot-hold, the latin-american nations being well supplied by systems of their own, all related more or less closely to the coinage of mexico or portugal. thus the plainly evolutionary task of pushing civilization into the uneducated parts of the world through commerce is as badly hampered by the different coins offered to the barbarian as are the efforts of the evangelists to introduce christianity by the existence of the various denominations and creeds. the church is beginning to appreciate the wastage in its efforts, and is trying to minimize it by combinations among the denominations having for their object to standardize christianity, so to speak, by reducing tenet and dogma to the lowest possible terms. commerce must do the same. the white man's coins must be standardized and simplified.... the international coin will come in a comparatively short time, just as will arrive the international postage stamp, which, by the way, is very badly needed. for the upper classes of all countries, the people who travel, and have to stand the nuisance and loss of changing their money at every frontier, the bankers and international merchants who have to cumber their accounts with the fluctuating item of exchange between commercial centres will insist upon it. all the european nations, with the exception of russia and turkey, are ready for the change, and when these reach the stage of real constitutionalism in their progress upward, they will be compelled to follow, being already deeply in debt to the french, english, and germans. japan may be counted upon to acquiesce instantly in any unit agreed upon by the rest of the civilized world." this writer points out that the opening out of the uncivilized parts of the world to commerce will alone serve to make an international coinage absolutely indispensable. without, however, introducing a really new system, an auxiliary international money system (corresponding to an auxiliary international language) could be introduced as a medium of exchange without interfering with the existing coinages of the various nations. réné de saussure (writing in the _journal de genève_, in ) has insisted on the immense benefit such a system of "monnaie de compte" would be in removing the burden imposed upon all international financial relations by the diversity of money values. he argues that the best point of union would be a gold piece of eight grammes--almost exactly equivalent to one pound, twenty marks, five dollars, and twenty-five francs--being, in fact, but one-third of a penny different from the value of a pound sterling. for the subdivisions the point of union must be decimally divided, and m. de saussure would give the name of speso to a ten-thousandth part of the gold coin. footnotes: [ ] the history of the efforts to attain a universal language has been written by couturat and leau, _histoire de la langue universelle_, . [ ] the distinguished french physician, dr. sollier, also, in an address to the lisbon international medical congress, on "la question de la langue auxiliaire internationale," in , advocating the adoption of one of the existing romance tongues, said: "spanish is the simplest of all and the easiest, and if it were chosen for this purpose i should be the first to accept it." [ ] it has even been stated by a distinguished english man of science that latin is sometimes easier for the english to use than is their own language. "i have known englishmen who could be trusted to write a more intelligible treatise, possibly even to make a more lucid speech, in latin than in english," says dr. miers, the principal of london university (_lancet_, th october, ), and he adds: "quite seriously, i think some part of the cause is to be sought in the difficulty of our language, and many educated persons get lost in its intricacies, just as they get lost in its spelling." without questioning the fact, however, i would venture to question this explanation of it. [ ] thus in one article on the growing extension of the english language throughout the world (_macmillan's magazine_, march, ) we read: "english is practically certain to become the language of the world.... the speech of shakespeare and milton, of dryden and swift, of byron and wordsworth, will be, in a sense in which no other language has been, the speech of the whole world." we do not nowadays meet with these wild statements. [ ] the stumbling-stones for the foreigner presented by english words in "ough" have often been referred to, and are clearly set forth in the verses in which mr. c.b. loomis has sought to represent a french learner's experiences--and the same time to show the criminal impulses which these irregularities arouse in the pupil. "i'm taught p-l-o-u-g-h shall be pronouncèd 'plow,' 'zat's easy when you know,' i say, 'mon anglais i'll get through.' "my teacher say zat in zat case o-u-g-h is 'oo,' and zen i laugh and say to him 'zees anglais make me cough.' "he say, 'not coo, but in zat word o-u-g-h is "off,"' oh, _sacre bleu_! such varied sounds of words make me hiccough! "he say, 'again, mon friend ees wrong! o-u-g-h is "up," in hiccough,' zen i cry, 'no more, you make my throat feel rough,' "'non! non!' he cry, 'you are not right-- o-u-g-h is "uff."' i say, 'i try to speak your words, i can't prononz zem though,' "'in time you'll learn, but now you're wrong, o-u-g-h is "owe."' 'i'll try no more. i sall go mad, i'll drown me in ze lough!' "'but ere you drown yourself,' said he, 'o-u-g-h is "ock."' he taught no more! i held him fast, and killed him wiz a rough!" [ ] it is interesting to remember that at one period in european history, french seemed likely to absorb english, and thus to acquire, in addition to its own motor force, all the motor force which now lies behind english. when the normans--a vigorous people of scandinavian origin, speaking a romance tongue, and therefore well fitted to accomplish a harmonizing task of this kind--occupied both sides of the english channel, it seemed probable that they would dominate the speech of england as well as of france. "at that time," says méray (_la vie aux temps des cours d'amour_, p. ), who puts forward this view, "the people of the two coasts of the channel were closer in customs and in speech than were for a long time the french on the opposite banks of the loire.... the influential part of the english nation and all the people of its southern regions spoke the _romance_ of the north of france. in the crusades the knights of the two peoples often mixed, and were greeted as franks wherever their adventurous spirit led them. if edward iii, with the object of envenoming an antagonism which served his own ends, had not broken this link of language, the two peoples would perhaps have been united to-day in the same efforts of progress and of liberty.... of what a fine instrument of culture and of progress has not that fatal decree of edward iii deprived civilization!" [ ] i was at one time (_progressive review_, april, ) inclined to think that the adoption of both english and french, as joint auxiliary international languages--the first for writing and the second for speaking--might solve the problem. i have since recognized that such a solution, however advantageous it might be for human culture, would present many difficulties, and is quite impracticable. [ ] i may refer to three able papers which have appeared in recent years in the _popular science monthly_: anna monsch roberts, "the problem of international speech" (february, ); ivy kellerman, "the necessity for an international language," (september, ); albert léon guérard, "english as an international language" (october, ). all these writers reject as impracticable the adoption of either english or french as the auxiliary international language, and view with more favour the adoption of an artificial language such as esperanto. [ ] a.m. roberts, _op. cit._ [ ] it should be added, however, that the auxiliary language need not be used as a medium for literary art, and it is a mistake, as pfaundler points out, to translate poems into such a language. [ ] see _international language and science_, , by couturat, jespersen, lorenz, ostwald, pfaundler, and donnan, five professors living in five different countries. [ ] the progress of the movement is recorded in its official journal, _progreso_, edited by couturat, and in de beaufront's journal, _la langue auxiliaire_. xii individualism and socialism social hygiene in relation to the alleged opposition between socialism and individualism--the two parties in politics--the relation of conservatism and radicalism to socialism and individualism--the basis of socialism--the basis of individualism--the seeming opposition between socialism and individualism merely a division of labour--both socialism and individualism equally necessary--not only necessary but indispensable to each other--the conflict between the advocates of environment and heredity--a new embodiment of the supposed conflict between socialism and individualism--the place of eugenics--social hygiene ultimately one with the hygiene of the soul--the function of utopias. the controversy between individualism and socialism, the claim of the personal unit as against the claim of the collective community, is of ancient date. yet it is ever new and constantly presented afresh. it even seems to become more acute as civilization progresses. every scheme of social reform, every powerful manifestation of individual energy, raise anew a problem that is never out of date. it is inevitable, indeed, that with the development of social hygiene during the past hundred years there should also develop a radical opposition of opinion as to the methods by which such hygiene ought to be accomplished. there has always been this opposition in the political sphere; it is natural to find it also in the social sphere. the very fact that old-fashioned politics are becoming more and more transformed into questions of social hygiene itself ensures the continuance of such an opposition. in politics, and especially in the politics of constitutional countries of which england is the type, there are normally two parties. there is the party that holds by tradition, by established order and solidarity, the maintenance of the ancient hierarchical constitution of society, and in general distinguishes itself by a preference for the old over the new. there is, on the other side, the party that insists on progress, on freedom, on the reasonable demands of the individual, on the adaptation of the accepted order to changing conditions, and in general distinguishes itself by a preference for the new over the old. the first may be called the party of structure, and the second the party of function. in england we know the adherents of one party as conservatives and those of the other party as liberals or radicals. in time, it is true, these normal distinctions between the party of structure and the party of function tend to become somewhat confused; and it is precisely the transition of politics into the social sphere which tends to introduce confusion. with a political system which proceeds ultimately out of a society with a feudalistic basis, the normal attitude of political parties is long maintained. the party of structure, the conservative party, holds by the ancient feudalistic ideals which are really, in the large sense, socialistic, though a socialism based on a foundation of established inequality, and so altogether unlike the democratic socialism promulgated to-day. the party of function, the liberal party, insists on the break-up of this structural socialism to meet the new needs of progressive civilization. but when feudalism has been left far behind, and many of the changes introduced by liberalism have become part of the social structure, they fall under the protection of conservatives who are fighting against new liberal innovations. thus the lines of delimitation tend to become indistinct. in the politics of social hygiene there are the same two factors: the party of structure and the party of function. in their nature and in their opposition to each other they correspond to the two parties in the old political field. but they have changed their character and their names: the party of structure is here socialism or collectivism,[ ] the party of function is individualism.[ ] and while the tory, the conservative of early days, was allied to collectivism, and the whig, the liberal of early days, to individualism, that correspondence has ceased to be invariable owing to the confused manner in which the old political parties have nowadays shifted their ground. we may thus see a liberal who is a collectivist when a collectivist measure may involve that innovation to secure adjustment to new needs which is of the essence of liberalism, and we may see a conservative who is an individualist when individualism involves that maintenance of the existing order which is of the essence of conservatism. whether a man is a conservative or a liberal, he may incline either to socialism or to individualism without breaking with his political tradition. it is, therefore, impossible to import any political animus into the fundamental antagonism between individualism and socialism, which prevails in the sphere of social hygiene. we cannot hope to see clearly the grave problems involved by the fundamental antagonism between socialism and individualism unless we understand what each is founded on and what it is aiming at. when we seek to inquire how it is that the socialist ideal exerts so powerful an attraction on the human mind, and why it is ever seeking new modes of practical realization, we cannot fail to perceive that it ultimately proceeds from the primitive need of mutual help, a need which was felt long before the appearance of humanity.[ ] if, however, we keep strictly to our immediate mammalian traditions it may be said that the earliest socialist community is the family, with its trinity of father, mother, and child. the primitive family constitutes a group which is conditioned by the needs of each member. each individual is subordinated to the whole. the infant needs the mother and the mother needs the infant; they both need the father and the father needs both for the complete satisfaction of his own activities. socially and economically this primitive group is a unit, and if broken up into its individual parts these would be liable to perish. however we may multiply our social unit, however we may enlarge and elaborate it, however we may juggle with the results, we cannot disguise the essential fact. at the centre of every social agglomeration, however vast, however small, lies the social unit of the family of which each individual is by himself either unable to live or unable to reproduce, unable, that is to say, to gratify the two fundamental needs of hunger and love. there are many people who, while willing to admit that the family is, in a sense, a composite social unit to which each part has need of the other parts, so that all are mutually bound together, seek to draw a firm line of distinction between the family and society. family life, they declare, is not irreconcilable with individualism; it is merely _un égoïsme à trois_. it is, however, difficult to see how such a distinction can be maintained, whether we look at the matter theoretically or practically. in a small country like great britain, for instance, every englishman (excluding new immigrants) is related by blood to every other englishman, as would become clearer if every man possessed his pedigree for a thousand years back. when we remember, further, also, that every nation has been overlaid by invasions, warlike or peaceful, from neighbouring lands, and has, indeed, been originally formed in this way since no people has sprung up out of the soil of its own land, we must further admit that the nations themselves form one family related by blood. our genealogical relation to our fellows is too remote and extensive to concern us much practically and sentimentally, though it is well that we should realize it. if we put it aside, we have still to remember that our actual need of our fellows is not definitely to be distinguished from the mutual needs of the members of the smallest social unit, the family. in practice the individual is helpless. of all animals, indeed, man is the most helpless when left to himself. he must be cared for by others at every moment during his long infancy. he is dependent on the exertions of others for shelter and clothes, while others are occupied in preparing his food and conveying it from the ends of the world. even if we confine ourselves to the most elementary needs of a moderately civilized existence, or even if our requirements are only those of an idiot in an asylum, yet, for every one of us, there are literally millions of people spending the best of their lives from morning to night and perhaps receiving but little in return. the very elementary need of the individual in an urban civilization for pure water to drink can only be attained by organized social effort. the gigantic aqueducts constructed by the romans are early monuments of social activity typical of all the rest. the primary needs of the individual can only be supplied by an immense and highly organized social effort. the more complex civilization becomes, and the more numerous individual needs become, so much the more elaborate and highly organized becomes the social response to those needs. the individual is so dependent on society that he needs not only the active work of others, but even their mere passive good opinion, and if he loses that he is a failure, bankrupt, a pauper, a lunatic, a criminal, and the social reaction against him may suffice to isolate him, even to put him out of life altogether. so dependent indeed on society is the individual that there has always been a certain plausibility in the old idea of the stoics, countenanced by st. paul, and so often revived in later days (as by schäffle, lilienfeld, and rené worms), that society is an organism in which the individuals are merely cells depending for their significance on the whole to which they belong. just as the animal is, as hegel, the metaphysician, called it, a "nation," and dareste, the physiologist, a "city," made up of cells which are individuals having a common ancestor, so the actual nation, the real city, is an animal made up of individuals which are cells having a common ancestor, or, as oken long ago put it, individuals are the organs of the whole.[ ] man is a social animal in constant action and reaction with all his fellows of the same group--a group which becomes ever greater as civilization advances--and socialism is merely the formal statement of this ultimate social fact.[ ] there is a divinity that hedges certain words. a sacred terror warns the profane off them as off something that might blast the beholder's sight. in fact it is so, and even a clear-sighted person may be blinded by such a word. of these words none is more typical than the word "socialism." not so very long ago a prominent public man, of high intelligence, but evidently susceptible to the terror-striking influence of words, went to glasgow to deliver an address on social reform. he warned his hearers against socialism, and told them that, though so much talked about, it had not made one inch of progress; of practical socialism or collectivism there were no signs at all. yet, as some of his hearers pointed out, he gave his address in a municipally owned hall, illuminated by municipal lights, to an audience which had largely arrived in municipal tramcars travelling through streets owned, maintained, and guarded by the municipality. this audience was largely educated in state schools, in which their children nowadays can receive not only free education and free books, but, if necessary, free food and free medical inspection and treatment. moreover, the members of this same audience thus assured of the non-existence of socialism, are entitled to free treatment in the municipal hospital, should an infective disease overtake them; the municipality provides them freely with concerts and picture galleries, golf courses and swimming ponds; and in old age, finally, if duly qualified, they receive a state pension. now all these measures are socialistic, and socialism is nothing more or less than a complicated web of such measures; the socialistic state, as some have put it, is simply a great national co-operative association of which the government is the board of managers. it is said by some who disclaim any tendency to socialism, that what they desire is not the state-ownership of the means of production, but state-regulation. let the state, in the interests of the community, keep a firm control over the individualistic exploitation of capital, let it tax capital as far as may be desirable in the interests of the community. but beyond this, capital, as well as land, is sacred. the distinction thus assumed is not, however, valid. the very people who make this distinction are often enthusiastic advocates of an enlarged navy and a more powerful army. yet these can only be provided by taxation, and every tax in a democratic state is a socialistic measure, and involves collective ownership of the proceeds, whether they are applied to making guns or swimming-baths. every step in the regulation of industry assumes the rights of society over individualistic production, and is therefore socialistic. it is a question of less or more, but except along those two lines, there is no socialism at all to be reckoned with in the practical affairs of the world. that revolutionary socialism of the dogmatically systematic school of karl marx which desired to transfer society at a single stroke by taking over and centralizing all the means of production may now be regarded as a dream. it never at any time took root in the english-speaking lands, though it was advocated with unwearying patience by men of such force of intellect and of character as mr. hyndman and william morris. even in germany, the land of its origin, nearly all its old irreconcilable leaders are dead, and it is now slowly but steadily losing influence, to give place to a more modern and practical socialism. as we are concerned with it to-day and in the future, socialism is not a rigid economic theory, nor is it the creed of a narrow sect. in its wide sense it is a name that covers all the activities--first instinctive, then organized--which arise out of the fundamental fact that man is a social animal. in its more precise sense it indicates the various orderly measures that are taken by groups of individuals--whether states or municipalities--to provide collectively for the definite needs of the individuals composing the group. so much for socialism. the individualist has a very different story to tell. from the point of view of individualism, however elaborate the structure of the society you erect, it can only, after all, be built up of individuals, and its whole worth must depend on the quality of those individuals. if they are not fully developed and finely tempered by high responsibilities and perpetual struggles, all social effort is fruitless, it will merely degrade the individual to the helpless position of a parasite. the individual is born alone; he must die alone; his deepest passions, his most exquisite tastes, are personal; in this world, or in any other world, all the activities of society cannot suffice to save his soul. thus it is that the individual must bear his own burdens, for it is only in so doing that the muscles of his body grow strong and that the energies of his spirit become keen. it is by the qualities of the individual alone that work is sound and that initiative is possible. all trade and commerce, every practical affair of life, depend for success on the personal ability of individuals.[ ] it is not only so in the everyday affairs of life, it is even more so on the highest planes of intellectual and spiritual life. the supreme great men of the race were termed by carlyle its "heroes," by emerson its "representative men," but, equally by the less and by the more democratic term, they are always individuals standing apart from society, often in violent opposition to it, though they have always conquered in the end. when any great person has stood alone against the world it has always been the world that lost. the strongest man, as ibsen argued in his _enemy of the people_, is the man who stands most alone. "he will be the greatest," says nietzsche in _beyond good and evil_, "who can be the most solitary, the most concealed, the most divergent." every great and vitally organized person is hostile to the rigid and narrow routine of social conventions, whether established by law or by opinion; they must ever be broken to suit his vital needs. therefore the more we multiply these social routines, the more strands we weave into the social web, the more closely we draw them, by so much the more we are discouraging the production of great and vitally organized persons, and by so much the more we are exposing society to destruction at the hands of such persons. beneath socialism lies the assertion that society came first and that individuals are indefinitely apt for education into their place in society. socialism has inherited the maxim, which rousseau, the uncompromising individualist, placed at the front of his _social contract_: "man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains." there is nothing to be done but to strike off the chains and organize society on a social basis. men are not this or that; they are what they have been made. make the social conditions right, says the thorough-going socialist, and individuals will be all that we could desire them to be. not poverty alone, but disease, lunacy, prostitution, criminality are all the results of bad social and economic conditions. create the right environment and you have done all that is necessary. to some extent that is clearly true. but the individualist insists that there are definite limits to its truth. even in the most favourable environment nearly every ill that the socialist seeks to remove is found. inevitably, the individualist declares, because we do not spring out of our environment, but out of our ancestral stocks. against the stress on environment, the individualist lays the stress on the ascertained facts of heredity. it is the individual that counts, and for good or for ill the individual brought his fate with him at birth. ensure the production of sound individuals, and you may set at naught the environment. you will, indeed, secure results incomparably better than even the most anxious care expended on environment alone can ever hope to secure. such are the respective attitudes of socialism and individualism. so far as i can see, they are both absolutely right. nor is it even clear that they are really opposed; for, as happens in every field, while the affirmations of each are sound, their denials are unsound. certainly, along each line we may be carried to absurdity. the individualism of max stirner is not far from the ultimate frontier of sanity, and possibly even on the other side of it;[ ] while the socialism of the oneida community involved a self-subordination which it would be idle to expect from the majority of men and women. but there is a perfect division of labour between socialism and individualism. we cannot have too much of either of them. we have only to remember that the field of each is distinct. no one needs individualism in his water supply, and no one needs socialism in his religion. all human affairs sort themselves out as coming within the province of socialism or of individualism, and each may be pushed to its furthest extreme.[ ] it so happens, however, that the capacity of the human brain is limited, and a single brain is not made to hold together the idea of socialism and the idea of individualism. ordinary people have, it is true, no practical difficulty whatever in acting concurrently in accordance with the ideas of socialism and of individualism. but it is different with the men of ideas; they must either be socialists or individualists; they cannot be both. the tendency in one or the other direction is probably inborn in these men of ideas. we need not regret this inevitable division of labour. on the contrary, it is difficult to see how the right result could otherwise be brought about. people without ideas experience no difficulty in harmonizing the two tendencies. but if the ideas of socialism and individualism tended to appear in the same brain they would neutralize each other or lead action into an unprofitable _via media_. the separate initiative and promulgation of the two tendencies encourages a much more effective action, and best promotes that final harmony of the two extremes which the finest human development needs. there is more to be said. not only are both alike indispensable, and both too profoundly rooted in human nature to be abolished or abridged, but each is indispensable to the other. there can be no socialism without individualism; there can be no individualism without socialism. only a very fine development of personal character and individual responsibility can bear up any highly elaborated social organization, which is why small socialist communities have only attained success by enlisting finely selected persons; only a highly organized social structure can afford scope for the play of individuality. the enlightened socialist nowadays often realizes something of the relationship of socialism to individualism, and the individualist--if he were not in recent times, for all his excellent qualities, sometimes lacking in mental flexibility and alertness--would be prepared to admit his own relationship to socialism. "the organization of the whole is dominated by the necessities of cellular life," as dareste says. that truth is well recognized by the physiologists since the days of claude bernard. it is absolutely true of the physiology of society. social organization is not for the purpose of subordinating the individual to society; it is as much for the purpose of subordinating society to the individual. between individuals, even the greatest, and society there is perpetual action and reaction. while the individual powerfully acts on society, he can only so act in so far as he is himself the instrument and organ of society. the individual leads society, but only in that direction whither society wishes to go. every man of science merely carries knowledge or invention one further step, a needed and desired step, beyond the stage reached by his immediate predecessors. every poet and artist is only giving expression to the secret feelings and impulses of his fellows. he has the courage to utter for the first time the intimate emotion and aspiration which he finds in the depth of his own soul, and he has the skill to express them in forms of radiant beauty. but all these secret feelings and desires are in the hearts of other men, who have not the boldness to tell them nor the ability to embody them exquisitely. in the life of man, as in nature generally, there is a perpetual process of exfoliation, as edward carpenter calls it, whereby a latent but striving desire is revealed, and the man of genius is the stimulus and the incarnation of this exfoliating movement. that is why every great poet and artist when once his message becomes intelligible, is acclaimed and adored by the crowd for whom he would only have been an object of idle wonderment if he had not expressed and glorified themselves. when the man of genius is too far ahead of his time, he is rejected, however great his genius may be, because he represents the individual out of vital relation to his time. a roger bacon, for all his stupendous intellect, is deprived of pen and paper and shut up in a monastery, because he is undertaking to answer questions which will not be asked until five centuries after his death. perhaps the supreme man of genius is he who, like virgil, leonardo, or shakespeare, has a message for his own time and a message for all times, a message which is for ever renewed for every new generation. the need for insisting on the intimate relations between socialism and individualism has become the more urgent to-day because we are reaching a stage of civilization in which each tendency is inevitably so pushed to its full development that a clash is only prevented by the realization that here we have truly a harmony. sometimes a matter that belongs to one sphere is so closely intertwined with a matter that belongs to the other that it is a very difficult problem how to hold them separate and allow each its due value.[ ] at times, indeed, it is really very difficult to determine to which sphere a particular kind of human activity belongs. this is notably the case as regards education. "render unto cæsar the things that be cæsar's, and unto god the things that be god's." but is education among the things that belong to cæsar, to social organization, or among the things that belong to god, to the province of the individual's soul? there is much to be said on both sides. of late the socialist tendency prevails here, and there is a disposition to standardize rigidly an education so superficial, so platitudinous, so uniform, so unprofitable--so fatally oblivious of what even the word _education_ means[ ]--that some day, perhaps, the revolted individualist spirit will arise in irresistible might to sweep away the whole worthless structure from top to bottom, with even such possibilities of good as it may conceal. the educationalists of to-day may do well to remember that it is wise to be generous to your enemies even in the interests of your own preservation. in every age the question of individualism and socialism takes on a different form. in our own age it has become acute under the form of a conflict between the advocates of good heredity and the advocates of good environment. on the one hand there is the desire to breed the individual to a high degree of efficiency by eugenic selection, favouring good stocks and making the procreation of bad stocks more difficult. on the other hand there is the effort so to organize the environment by collectivist methods that life for all may become easy and wholesome. as usual, those who insist on the importance of good environment are inclined to consider that the question of heredity may be left to itself, and those who insist on the importance of good heredity are indifferent to environment. as usual, also, there is a real underlying harmony of those two demands. there is, however, here more than this. in this most modern of their embodiments, socialism and individualism are not merely harmonious, each is the key to the other, which remains unattainable without it. however carefully we improve our breed, however anxiously we guard the entrance to life, our labour will be in vain if we neglect to adapt the environment to the fine race we are breeding. the best individuals are not the toughest, any more than the highest species are the toughest, but rather, indeed, the reverse, and no creature needs so much and so prolonged an environing care as man, to ensure his survival. on the other hand, an elaborate attention to the environment, combined with a reckless inattention to the quality of the individuals born to live in that environment can only lead to an overburdened social organization which will speedily fall by its own weight. during the past century the socialists of the school for bettering the environment have for the most part had the game in their own hands. they founded themselves on the very reasonable basis of sympathy, a basis which the eighteenth-century moralists had prepared, which schopenhauer had formulated, which george eliot had passionately preached, which had around its operations the immense prestige of the gospel of jesus. the environmental socialists--always quite reasonably--set themselves to improve the conditions of labour; they provided local relief for the poor; they built hospitals for the free treatment of the sick. they are proceeding to feed school children, to segregate and protect the feeble-minded, to insure the unemployed, to give state pensions to the aged, and they are even asked to guarantee work for all. now these things, and the likes of them, are not only in accordance with natural human impulses, but for the most part they are reasonable, and in protecting the weak the strong are, in a certain sense, protecting themselves. no one nowadays wants the hungry to hunger or the suffering to suffer. indeed, in that sense, there never has been any _laissez-faire_ school.[ ] but as the movement of environmental socialism realizes itself, it becomes increasingly clear that it is itself multiplying the work which it sets itself to do. in enabling the weak, the incompetent, and the defective to live and to live comfortably, it makes it easier for those on the borderland of these classes to fall into them, and it furnishes the conditions which enable them to propagate their like, and to do this, moreover, without that prudent limitation which is now becoming universal in all classes above those of the weak, the incompetent, and the defective. thus unchecked environmental socialism, obeying natural impulses and seeking legitimate ends, would be drawn into courses at the end of which only social enfeeblement, perhaps even dissolution, could be seen. the key to the situation, it is now beginning to be more and more widely felt, is to be found in the counterbalancing tendency of individualism, and the eugenic guardianship of the race. not, rightly understood, as a method of arresting environmental socialism, nor even as a counterblast to its gospel of sympathy. nietzsche, indeed, has made a famous assault on sympathy, as he has on conventional morality generally, but his "immoralism" in general and his "hardness" in particular are but new and finer manifestations of those faded virtues he was really seeking to revive. the superficially sympathetic man flings a coin to the beggar; the more deeply sympathetic man builds an almshouse for him so that he need no longer beg; but perhaps the most radically sympathetic of all is the man who arranges that the beggar shall not be born. so it is that the question of breed, the production of fine individuals, the elevation of the ideal of quality in human production over that of mere quantity, begins to be seen, not merely as a noble ideal in itself, but as the only method by which socialism can be enabled to continue on its present path. if the entry into life is conceded more freely to the weak, the incompetent, and the defective than to the strong, the efficient, and the sane, then a sisyphean task is imposed on society; for every burden lifted two more burdens appear. but as individual responsibility becomes developed, as we approach the time to which galton looked forward, when the eugenic care for the race may become a religion, then social control over the facts of life becomes possible. through the slow growth of knowledge concerning hereditary conditions, by voluntary self-restraint, by the final disappearance of the lingering prejudice against the control of procreation, by sterilization in special cases, by methods of pressure which need not amount to actual compulsion,[ ] it will be possible to attain an increasingly firm grip on the evil elements of heredity. not until such measures as these, under the controlling influence of a sense of personal responsibility extending to every member of the community, have long been put into practice, can we hope to see man on the earth risen to his full stature, healthy in body, noble in spirit, beautiful in both alike, moving spaciously and harmoniously among his fellows in the great world of nature, to which he is so subtly adapted because he has himself sprung out of it and is its most exquisite flower. at this final point social hygiene becomes one with the hygiene of the soul.[ ] poets and prophets, from jesus and paul to novalis and whitman, have seen the divine possibilities of man. there is no temple in the world, they seem to say, so great as the human body; he comes in contact with heaven, they declare, who touches a human person. but these human things, made to be gods, have spawned like frogs over all the earth. everywhere they have beslimed its purity and befouled its beauty, darkening the very sunshine. heaped upon one another in evil masses, preying upon one another as no other creature has ever preyed upon its kind, they have become a festering heap which all the oceans in vain lave with their antiseptic waters, and all the winds of heaven cannot purify. it is only in the unextinguished spark of reason within him that salvation for man may ever be found, in the realization that he is his own star, and carries in his hands his own fate. the impulses of individualism and of socialism alike prompt us to gain self-control and to learn the vast extent of our responsibility. the whole of humanity is working for each of us; each of us must live worthy of that great responsibility to humanity. by how fine a flash of insight jesus declared that few could enter the kingdom of heaven! not until the earth is purified of untold millions of its population will it ever become the heaven of old dreamers, in which the elect walk spaciously and nobly, loving one another. only in such spacious and pure air is it possible for the individual to perfect himself, as a rose becomes perfect, according to dante's beautiful simile,[ ] in order that he may spread abroad for others the fragrance that has been generated within him. if one thinks of it, that seems a truism, yet, even in this twentieth century, how few, how very few, there are who know it! this is why we cannot have too much individualism, we cannot have too much socialism. they play into each other's hands. to strengthen one is to give force to the other. the greater the vigour of both, the more vitally a society is progressing. "i can no more call myself an individualist or a socialist," said henry george, "than one who considers the forces by which the planets are held to their orbits could call himself a centrifugalist or a centripetalist." to attain a society in which individualism and socialism are each carried to its extreme point would be to attain to the society that lived in the abbey of thelema, in the city of the sun, in utopia, in the land of zarathustra, in the garden of eden, in the kingdom of heaven. it is a kingdom, no doubt, that is, as diderot expressed it, "diablement idéal." but to-day we hold in our hands more certainly than ever before the clues that were imperfectly foreshadowed by plato, and what our fathers sought ignorantly we may attempt by methods according to knowledge. no utopia was ever realized; and the ideal is a mirage that must ever elude us or it would cease to be ideal. yet all our progress, if progress there be, can only lie in setting our faces towards that goal to which utopias and ideals point. footnotes: [ ] in the narrow sense socialism is identical with the definite economic doctrine of the collectivistic organization of the productive and distributive work of society. it also possesses, as bosanquet remarks (in an essay on "individualism and socialism," in _the civilization of christendom_), "a deeper meaning as a name for a human tendency that is operative throughout history." every collectivist is a socialist, but not every socialist would admit that he is a collectivist. "moral socialism," however, though not identical with "economic socialism," tends to involve it. [ ] the term "individualism," like the term "socialism," is used in varying senses, and is not, therefore, satisfactory to everyone. thus e.f.b. fell (_the foundations of liberty_, ), regarding "individualism," as a merely negative term, prefers the term "personalism," to denote a more positive ideal. there is, however, by no means as any necessity to consider "individualism," a more negative term than "socialism." [ ] the inspiring appeal of socialism to ardent minds is no doubt ethical. "the ethics of socialism," says kirkup, "are closely akin to the ethics of christianity, if not identical with them." that, perhaps, is why socialism is so attractive to some minds, so repugnant to others. [ ] this idea was elaborated by eimer in an appendix to his _organic evolution_ on the idea of the individual in the animal kingdom. [ ] the term "socialism" is said to date from about the year . leroux claimed that he invented it, in opposition to the term "individualism," but at that period it had become so necessary and so obvious a term that it is difficult to say positively by whom it was first used. [ ] an important point which the individualist may fairly bring forward in this connection is the tendency of socialism to repress the energy of the best worker among its officials at the expense of the public. alike in government offices at whitehall and in municipal offices in the town halls there is a certain proportion of workers who find pleasure in putting forth their best energies at high pressure. but the majority take care that work shall be carried on at low pressure, and that the output shall not exceed a certain understood minimum. they ensure this by making things uncomfortable for the workers who exceed that minimum. the gravity of this evil is scarcely yet realized. it could probably be counteracted by so organizing promotion that the higher posts really went to the officials distinguished by the quantity and the quality of their work. pensions should also be affected by the same consideration. in any case, the evil is serious, and is becoming more so since the number of public officials is constantly increasing. the council of the law society found some years ago that the cost of civil administration in england had increased between the years and from millions to millions, and, excluding the revenue departments, it is now said to have gone up to millions. it is an evil that will have to be dealt with sooner or later. [ ] max stirner wrote his work, _der einzige und sein eigenthum_ (_the ego and his own_, in the english translation of byington), in . his life has been written by john henry mackay (_max stirner: sein leben und sein werk_), and an interesting study of max stirner (whose real name was schmidt) will be found in james huneker's _egoists_. [ ] in the introduction to my earliest book, _the new spirit_ ( ), i set forth this position, from which i have never departed: "while we are socializing all those things of which all have equal common need, we are more and more tending to leave to the individual the control of those things which in our complex civilization constitute individuality. we socialize what we call our physical life in order that we may attain greater freedom for what we call our spiritual life." no doubt such a point of view was implicit in ruskin and other previous writers, just as it has subsequently been set forth by ellen key and others, while from the economic side it has been well formulated by mr. j.a. hobson in his _evolution of capital_: "the _very raison d'être_ of increased social cohesiveness is to economize and enrich the individual life, and to enable the play of individual energy to assume higher forms out of which more individual satisfaction may accrue." "socialism will be of value," thought oscar wilde in his _soul of man_, "simply because it will lead to individualism." "socialism denies economic individualism for any," says karl nötzel ("zur ethischen begrundung des sozialismus," _sozialistische monatshefte_, , heft ), "in order to make moral intellectual individualism possible for all." and as it has been seen that socialism leads to individualism, so it has also been seen that individualism, even on the ethical plane, leads to socialism. "you must let the individual make his will a reality in the conduct of his life," bosanquet remarks in an essay already quoted, "in order that it may be possible for him consciously to entertain the social purpose as a constituent of his will. without these conditions there is no social organism and no moral socialism.... each unit of the social organism has to embody his relations with the whole in his own particular work and will; and in order to do this the individual must have a strength and depth in himself proportional to and consisting of the relations which he has to embody." grant allen long since clearly set forth the harmony between individualism and socialism in an article published in the _contemporary review_ in . [ ] an instructive illustration is furnished by the question of the relation of the sexes, and elsewhere (_studies in the psychology of sex_, vol. vi, "sex in relation to society") i have sought to show that we must distinguish between marriage, which is directly the affair of the individuals primarily concerned, and procreation, which is mainly the concern of society. [ ] see, for instance, the opinion of the former chief inspector of elementary schools in england, mr. edmond holmes, _what is and what might be_ ( ). he points out that true education must be "self-realization," and that the present system of "education" is entirely opposed to self-realization. sir john gorst, again, has repeatedly attacked the errors of the english state system of education. [ ] the phrase _laissez faire_ is sometimes used as though it were the watchword of a party which graciously accorded a free hand to the devil to do his worst. as a matter of fact, it was simply a phrase adopted by the french economists of the eighteenth century to summarize the conclusion of their arguments against the antiquated restrictions which were then stifling the trade and commerce of france (see g. weuleresse, _le mouvement physiocratique en france_, , vol. ii, p. ). properly understood, it is not a maxim which any party need be ashamed to own. [ ] i would again repeat that i do not regard legislation as a channel of true eugenic reform. as bateson well says (_op. cit._ p. ); "it is not the tyrannical and capricious interference of a half-informed majority which can safely mould or purify a population, but rather that simplification of instinct for which we ever hope, which fuller knowledge alone can make possible." even the subsidising of unexceptionable parents, as the same writer remarks, cannot be viewed with enthusiasm. "if we picture to ourselves the kind of persons who would infallibly be chosen as examples of 'civic worth' the prospect is not very attractive." [ ] "aristotle, herein the organ and exponent of the greek national mind," remarks gomperz, "understood by the hygiene of the soul the avoidance of all extremes, the equilibrium of the powers, the harmonious development of aptitudes, none of which is allowed to starve or paralyse the others." gomperz points out that this individual morality corresponded to the characteristics of the greek national religion--its inclusiveness and spaciousness, its freedom and serenity, its ennoblement alike of energetic action and passive enjoyment (gomperz, _greek thinkers_, eng. trans., vol. iii, p. ). [ ] _convito_, iv, . the end index (_names of authors quoted are italicized._) abortion, facultative, age of consent, _et seq._ aggeneration, alcohol, legislative control of, _et seq._, _et seq._ alcoholism, , _allen, grant_, _allen, w.h._, ancestry, the study of, _angell, norman_, _anthony, susan_, antimachus of colophon, anti-militarism, _aristotle_, _ashby_, _asnurof_, _aubry_, _augustine_, st., australia, birth-rate in, _et seq._, ; moral legislation in, _azoulay_, bachofen, _baines, sir j.a._, _barnes, earl_, _basedow_, _bateson_, , , beatrice, dante's, beaufront, l. de, , bebel, , _becker, r._, _belbèze_, _benecke, e.f.m._, bergsonian philosophy, _bertillon, g._, _bertillon, j._, _beveridge_, bible in religious education, , _billroth_, _bingham_, birth-rate, in france, , , ; in england, , ; in germany, , ; in russia, ; in united states, ; in canada, ; in australasia, , ; in japan, ; in china, ; among savages, ; significance of a falling, _et seq._; in relation to death-rate, , _blease, w. lyon_, _bloch, iwan_, _boccaccio_, , _bodey_, , _böhmert_, _bonhoeffer_, _booth, c._, , _bosanquet_, , , _bouché-leclercq_, _branthwaite_, _braun, lily_, _brinton_, budin, bund für mutterschutz, _burckhardt_, _burnham_, _bushee, f._, , _byington_, camp, maxime du, campanella, campbell, harry, canada, birth-rate in, _et seq._; sexual hygiene in, _cantlie_, _carpenter, edward_, _casper_, certificates, eugenic, , , _chadwick, sir e._, , _chamfort_, chastity of german women, _cheetham_, chicago vice commission, , , child, psychology of, children, religious education of, china, birth-rate in, christianity in relation to romantic love, chivalrous attitude towards women, civilization, what it consists in, _clayton_, _cobbe, f.p._, co-education, _coghlan, t.a._, , , , coinage, international, concubinage, legalized, _condorcet_, , confirmation, rite of, consent, age of, _et seq._ courts of love, _couturat_, , _creed, j.m._, criminality and feeble-mindedness, crucé, emeric, _dante_, , _dareste_, , _davenport_, , , , death-rate in relation to birth-rate, , degenerate families, _et seq._ degeneration of race, alleged, _et seq._, _de quincey_, descartes, _dickens_, _dill, sir s._, disinfection, origin of, divorce, , _donkin, sir h.b._, _donnan_, drunkenness, decrease of, dubois, p., _dugdale_, _dumont, arsène_, , , economic aspect of woman's movement, , _et seq._ education, , , , , , _et seq._, _ehrenfels_, _eichholz_, _eimer_, _ellis, havelock_, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , enfantin, prosper, _engelmann_, , , english, characteristics of the, ; attitude towards immorality, ; language for international purposes, _et seq._ esperanto, _espinas_, eugenics, , _et seq._, , _et seq._, _et seq._ euthenics, _ewart, r.j._, , factory legislation, _fahlbeck_, fairy tales in education, family, limitation of, , family in relation to degeneracy, ; size of, feeble-minded, problem of the, _et seq._ _fell, e.f.b._, ferrer, fertility in relation to prosperity, _et seq._ _fiedler_, _finlay-johnson, h._, , _firenzuola_, "fit," the term, _flux_, _forel_, france, birth-rate in, , , ; women and love in, ; legal attitude towards immorality in, ; regulation of alcohol in, _franklin, b._, , _fraser, mrs._, french language for international purposes, _et seq._ frenssen, _freud_, s., _fuld, e.f._, , _fürch, henriette_, _galton, sir f._, , , , , , , , , , , , _gaultier, j. de_, _gautier, léon_, _gavin, h._, _gayley, julia_, germany, sex questions in, _et seq._; illegitimacy in, ; sexual hygiene in, ; legal attitude towards immorality in, , _giddings_, _godden_, , _godwin, w._, _goethe_, , _goldscheid_, , _gomperz_, _goncourt_, gouges, olympe de, _gourmont, remy de_, , , _gournay, marie de_, _grabowsky_, _grasset_, _grünspan_, _guérard_, , , _guthrie, l._, _haddon, a.c._, , _hagen_, _hale, horatio_, _hales, w.w._, _hall, g. stanley_, , , , , _hamburger, c._, _hamill, henry_, _hausmeister, p._, _hayllar, f._, health, nationalization of, health visitors, _hearn, lafcadio_, _henry, w.o._, heredity of feeble-mindedness, ; as the hope of the race, ; study of, _heron_, , _hervé_, _hiller_, , _hinton, james_, _hirschfeld, magnus_, , _hobbes_, holland, moral legislation in, _holmes, edmond_, , homosexuality and the law, , _hookey, n.a._, _hughes, r.e._, _humboldt, w. von_, , _huneker_, hungary, birth-rate and death-rate in, _hutchinson, woods_, hygiene, in medieval and modern times, ; of sex, _et seq._ idiocy, _et seq._ ido, illegitimacy, and feeble-mindedness, ; in germany, imbecility, _et seq._ individualism, , _et seq._ industrialism, modern, inebriety and feeble-mindedness, infant consultations, infantile mortality, , , , , _et seq._ initiation of youth, insurance, national, international language of the future, _et seq._ _james, e.c._, james, william, japan, romantic love in, ; birth-rate and death-rate in, ; changed conditions in, , _jenks, e._, , _johannsen_, _johnson, roswell_, _jordan, d.s._, _jörger_, jukes family, _kaan_, _kellerman, ivy_, _key, ellen_, _et seq._, , , _kirkup_, _krafft-ebing_, _krauss, f.s._, _kuczynski_, labour movement and war, _la chapelle, e.p._, _lacour, l._, _lagorgette_, laissez-faire, the maxim of, , _lancaster_, language, international, _et seq._ latin as an international language, _lavelege, e. de_, law, in relation to eugenics, , ; to morals, ; the sphere of, _lea_, _leau_, _leibnitz_, _levy, miriam_, _lewis, c.j. and j.n._, lichtenstein, ulrich von, life-history albums, , _et seq._ _lischnewska, maria_, _lobsien_, _loomis, c.b._, _lorenz_, , love, and the woman's question, , , _et seq._; and eugenics, _et seq._ luther, , , mackay, j.h., _macnamara, n.c._, _macquart_, maine, prohibition in, _mannhardt_, _manouvrier_, _marcuse, max_, marriage, certificates for, , , , ; economics and, ; natural selection and, ; state regulation of, _et seq._; the ideal of, ; in classic times, marriage-rate, , , _matignon_, matriarchal theory, _maurice, sir f._, _mclean_, _meisel-hess, grete_, , _méray_, , _mercier_, c., meredith, george, miele, _miers_, milk depôts, _mill_, j.s., , _moll_, , , _montaigne_, _montesquieu_, _moore, b._, , morals in relation to law, , _et seq._ more, sir t., _morgan, l._, _morse, j._, mortality of infants, , , , , _et seq._ motherhood in relation to eugenics, mothers, schools for, _mougins-roquefort_, municipal authorities to instruct in limitation of offspring, duty of, _muralt_, mysteries, pagan and christian, _näcke_, napoleon, , _nars, l._, national insurance, nationalization of health, natural selection and social reform, _nearing, scott_, neo-malthusianism, , , , _et seq._ _nevinson, h.w._, _newsholme_, , , , , new zealand, birth-rate in, _nietzsche_, , , , _niphus_, norway, infantile mortality in, _nötzel_, r., _novikov_, , , noys, h., _nyström_, obscenity, , oneida, ovid, , owen, robert, pankhurst, mrs., _partridge, g.l._, _paul, eden_, _pearson, karl_, _penn, w._, _perrycoste, f.h._, _peters, j.p._, _pfaundler_, pinard, j., _pinloche_, _plate_, _ploetz_, _ploss_, , police systems, post office, inquisition at the, prohibition of alcohol in maine, prosperity in relation to fertility, _et seq._ prostitution, and feeble-mindedness, ; and sexual selection, ; varying legal attitude towards, , puberty, psychic influence of, _et seq._ puericulture, quakers, quarantine, origin of, race, alleged degeneration of, _et seq._, raines law hotels, _et seq._ _ramsay, sir w.m._, _ranke, karl_, _raschke, marie_, reform, social hygiene as distinct from sexual, ; four stages of social, _et seq._ _reibmayr_, religion, and eugenics, ; and the child, _et seq._ reproduction, control of, _richards, ellen_, _richardson, sir b.w._, _robert, p._, _roberts, a.m._, , roman catholics and neo-malthusianism, roseville, _ross, e.a._, _rousseau_, _rubin_, , _ruediger_, rural life, influence of, _et seq._ _russell, mrs. b._, russia, infantile mortality in, , , ; moral legislation in, _ryle, r.j._, sacraments, origin of christian, saint-pierre, abbé de, saint-simon, , st. valentine and eugenics, sand, george, , sanitation as an element of social reform, _saussure, r. de_, _sayer, e._, _schallmayer_, _schiff, m._, schleyer, _schooling, j.h._, schools for mothers, _schrader, o._, _schreiner, olive_, , _schroeder, t._, , science and social reform, _sellers, e._, , sex questions in germany, _et seq._ sexual hygiene, _et seq._, sexual selection, , _et seq._ shaftesbury, earl of, _sherwell, a._, _shrank, j._, _siégler-pascal_, _sitwell, sir g._, _smith, sir t._, _smith, t.p._, social reform as distinct from social hygiene, ; its four stages, _et seq._ socialism, , , _et seq._ society of the future, _sollier_, _solmi_, _sombart_, spain, legalized concubinage in, ; women in, spanish as an international language, _stanton, e.c._, _starbuck_, _steinmetz_, , _steele_, sterilization, , , sterility and the birth-rate, _stevenson_, _stewart, a._, _stewart, r.s._, _stirner, max_, stirpiculture, _stöcker, h._, _streitberg, countess von_, suffrage, woman's, , , _et seq._ sully, , sun, city of the, _sutherland, a._, _sykes_, syndicalism, syphilis, _taine_, , _takano_, _tarde_, , _thompson, w._, _toulouse_, , tramps and feeble-mindedness, _tredgold_, united states, birth-rate in, _et seq._; sexual hygiene in, ; attitude towards immorality in, _et seq._ urban life, influence of, _et seq._ vasectomy, venereal disease and sexual hygiene, _vesnitch_, vineland, volapük, _wagenen, w.f. van_, war against war, _et seq._ ward, mrs. humphry, _weale, b.l. putnam_, _weatherby_, _webb, sidney_, , _weeks_, , _weinberg, s._, _wentworth, s._, _westergaard_, _westermarck_, _weuleresse_, wheeler, mrs., white slave trade, _whetham, w.c.d. and mrs._, _whitman, walt_, , _wilcox, w.f._, _wilde, o._, _wilhelm, c._, _wollstonecraft, mary_, , , , woman, and eugenics, ; movement, _et seq._; economics, _et seq._; eighteenth century, , ; and the suffrage, , , _et seq._; of the italian renaissance, ; in spanish literature, ; and war, _yule, g. udny_, , zamenhof, zero family, _ziller_, william brendon and son, ltd. printers, plymouth * * * * * transcriber's notes: with the following exceptions spelling and punctuation of the original text have been maintained: . obvious typographical errors and punctuation inconsistencies. . chapter v, par "high death-rate" has been changed to "high birth-rate". . chapter vii par "precocious sexual" has been changed to "precocious scriptural". . ligatured words "mytho-poeic", "oeuvres", and "boef" have been left unligatured. . italicized words have been surrounded with underline "_". transcriber's note: a few typographical errors have been corrected: they are listed at the end of the text. * * * * * [illustration: guardian angel] * * * * * searchlights on health light on dark corners * * * * * a complete sexual science and a guide to purity and physical manhood advice to maiden, wife, and mother love, courtship, and marriage. * * * * * by prof. b. g. jefferis, m.d., ph.d., and j. l. nichols, a.m. * * * * * j. l. nichols & co. naperville, ill. memphis, tenn. atlanta, ga. sold only by subscription. agents wanted * * * * * "vice has no friend like the prejudice which claims to be virtue."--_lord lytton_. * * * * * "when the judgment's weak, the prejudice is strong."--_kate o'hare_. * * * * * "it is the first right of every child to be well born." * * * * * entered according to act of congress, in the year by j. l. nichols, in the office of the librarian of congress, at washington, d. c. * * * * * copyrighted . * * * * * copyrighted. , by j. l. nichols & co. * * * * * copyrighted, , by j. l. nichols & co. * * * * * over , copies sold. * * * * * { } he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light. [illustration: "search me, oh thou great creator."] * * * * * knowledge is safety. . the old maxim, that "knowledge is power," is a true one, but there is still a greater truth: "knowledge is safety." safety amid physical ills that beset mankind, and safety amid the moral pitfalls that surround so many young people, is the great crying demand of the age. { } . criticism.--while the aim of this work, though novel and to some extent is daring, it is chaste, practical and to the point, and will be a boon and a blessing to thousands who consult its pages. the world is full of ignorance, and the ignorant will always criticise, because they live to suffer ills, for they know no better. new light is fast falling upon the dark corners, and the eyes of many are being opened. . researches of science.--the researches of science in the past few years have thrown light on many facts relating to the physiology of man and woman, and the diseases to which they are subject, and consequently many reformations have taken place in the treatment and prevention of diseases peculiar to the sexes. . lock and key.--any information bearing upon the diseases of mankind should not be kept under lock and key. the physician is frequently called upon to speak in plain language to his patients upon some private and startling disease contracted on account of ignorance. the better plan, however, is to so educate and enlighten old and young upon the important subjects of health, so that the necessity to call a physician may occur less frequently. . progression.--a large, respectable, though diminishing class in every community, maintain that nothing that relates exclusively to either sex should become the subject of popular medical instruction. but such an opinion is radically wrong; ignorance is no more the mother of purity than it is of religion. enlightenment can never work injustice to him who investigates. . an example.--the men and women who study and practice medicine are not the worse, but the better for such knowledge; so it would be to the community in general if all would be properly instructed on the laws of health which relate to the sexes. . crime and degradation.--had every person a sound understanding on the relation of the sexes, one of the most fertile sources of crime and degradation would be removed. physicians know too well what sad consequences are constantly occurring from a lack of proper knowledge on these important subjects. . a consistent consideration.--let the reader of this work study its pages carefully and be able to give safe counsel and advice to others, and remember that purity of purpose and purity of character are the brightest jewels in the crown of immortality. * * * * * { } the beginning of life. [illustration: beginning right.] . the beginning.--there is a charm in opening manhood which has commended itself to the imagination in every age. the undefined hopes and promises of the future--the dawning strength of intellect--the vigorous flow of passion--the very exchange of home ties and protected joys for free and manly pleasures, give to this period an interest and excitement unfelt, perhaps, at any other. { } . the growth of independence.--hitherto life has been to boys, as to girls, a dependent existence--a sucker from the parent growth--a home discipline of authority and guidance and communicated impulse. but henceforth it is a transplanted growth of its own--a new and free power of activity in which the mainspring is no longer authority or law from without, but principle or opinion within. the shoot which has been nourished under the shelter of the parent stem, and bent according to its inclination, is transferred to the open world, where of its own impulse and character it must take root, and grow into strength, or sink into weakness and vice. . home ties.--the thought of home must excite a pang even in the first moments of freedom. its glad shelter--its kindly guidance--its very restraints, how dear and tender must they seem in parting! how brightly must they shine in the retrospect as the youth turns from them to the hardened and unfamiliar face of the world! with what a sweet, sadly-cheering pathos they must linger in the memory! and then what chance and hazard is there in his newly-gotten freedom! what instincts of warning in its very novelty and dim inexperience! what possibilities of failure as well as of success in the unknown future as it stretches before him! . vice or virtue.--certainly there is a grave importance as well as a pleasant charm in the beginning of life. there is awe as well as excitement in it when rightly viewed. the possibilities that lie in it of noble or ignoble work--of happy self-sacrifice or ruinous self-indulgence--the capacities in the right use of which it may rise to heights of beautiful virtue, in the abuse of which it may sink to the depths of debasing vice--make the crisis one of fear as well as of hope, of sadness as well as of joy. . success or failure.--it is wistful as well as pleasing to think of the young passing year by year into the world, and engaging with its duties, its interests, and temptations. of the throng that struggle at the gates of entrance, how many may reach their anticipated goal? carry the mind forward a few years, and some have climbed the hills of difficulty and gained the eminence on which they wished to stand--some, although they may not have done this, have kept their truth unhurt, their integrity unspoiled; but others have turned back, or have perished by the way, or fallen in weakness of will, no more to rise again; victims of their own sin. . warning.--as we place ourselves with the young at the opening gates of life, and think of the end from the { } beginning, it is a deep concern more than anything else that fills us. words of earnest argument and warning counsel rather than of congratulation rise to our lips. . mistakes are often fatal.--begin well, and the habit of doing well will become quite as easy as the habit of doing badly. "well begun is half ended," says the proverb; "and a good beginning is half the battle." many promising young men have irretrievably injured themselves by a first false step at the commencement of life; while others, of much less promising talents, have succeeded simply by beginning well, and going onward. the good, practical beginning is, to a certain extent, a pledge, a promise, and an assurance of the ultimate prosperous issue. there is many a poor creature, now crawling through life, miserable himself and the cause of sorrow to others, who might have lifted up his head and prospered, if, instead of merely satisfying himself with resolutions of well-doing, he had actually gone to work and made a good, practical beginning. . begin at the right place.--too many are, however, impatient of results. they are not satisfied to begin where their fathers did, but where they left off. they think to enjoy the fruits of industry without working for them. they cannot wait for the results of labor and application, but forestall them by too early indulgence. * * * * * [illustration: solid comfort and good health.] health a duty. perhaps nothing will so much hasten the time when body and mind will both be adequately cared for, as a diffusion of the belief that the preservation of health is a duty. few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality. men's habitual words and acts imply that they are at liberty to treat their bodies as they please. disorder entailed by disobedience to nature's dictates they regard as grievances, not as the effects of a conduct more or less flagitious. though the evil consequences inflicted on their descendents and on future generations are often as great as those caused by crime, they do not think themselves in any degree criminal. it is true that in the case of drunkenness the viciousness of a bodily transgression is recognized; but none appear to infer that if this bodily transgression is vicious, so, too, is { } every bodily transgression. the fact is, all breaches of the law of health are physical sins. when this is generally seen, then, and perhaps not till then, will the physical training of the young receive all the attention it deserves. purity of life and thought should be taught in the home. it is the only safeguard of the young. let parents wake up on this important subject. * * * * * { } value of reputation. . who shall estimate the cost.--who shall estimate the cost of a priceless reputation--that impress which gives this human dross its currency--without which we stand despised, debased, depreciated? who shall repair it injured? who can redeem it lost? oh, well and truly does the great philosopher of poetry esteem the world's wealth as "trash" in the comparison. without it gold has no value; birth, no distinction; station, no dignity; beauty, no charm; age, no reverence; without it every treasure impoverishes, every grace deforms, every dignity degrades, and all the arts, the decorations and accomplishments of life stand, like the beacon-blaze upon a rock, warning the world that its approach is dangerous; that its contact is death. . the wretch without it.--the wretch without it is under eternal quarantine; no friend to greet; no home to harbor him, the voyage of his life becomes a joyless peril; and in the midst of all ambition can achieve, or avarice amass, or rapacity plunder, he tosses on the surge, a buoyant pestilence. but let me not degrade into selfishness of individual safety or individual exposure this individual principle; it testifies a higher, a more ennobling origin. . its divinity.--oh, divine, oh, delightful legacy of a spotless reputation: rich is the inheritance it leaves; pious the example it testifies; pure, precious and imperishable, the hope which it inspires; can there be conceived a more atrocious injury than to filch from its possessor this inestimable benefit to rob society of its charm, and solitude of its solace; not only to out-law life, but attain death, converting the very grave, the refuge of the sufferer, into the gate of infamy and of shame. . lost character.--we can conceive few crimes beyond it. he who plunders my property takes from me that which can be repaired by time; but what period can repair a ruined reputation? he who maims my person effects that which medicine may remedy; but what herb has sovereignty over the wounds of slander? he who ridicules my poverty or reproaches my profession, upbraids me with that which industry may retrieve, and integrity may purify; but what riches shall redeem the bankrupt fame? what power shall blanch the sullied show of character? there can be no injury more deadly. there can be no crime more cruel. it is without remedy. it is without antidote. it is without evasion. * * * * * { } influence of associates. if you always live with those who are lame, you will yourself learn to limp.--from the latin. if men wish to be held in esteem, they must associate with those who are estimable.--la bruyere. [illustration: gathering wild flowers.] . by what men are known.--an author is known by his writings, a mother by her daughter, a fool by his words, and all men by their companions. . formation of a good character.--intercourse with persons of decided virtue and excellence is of great importance in the formation of a good character. the force of example is powerful; we are creatures of imitation, and, by a necessary influence, our tempers and habits are very much formed on the model of those with whom we familiarly associate. better be alone than in bad company. evil communications corrupt good manners. ill qualities are catching as well as diseases; and the mind is at least as much, if not a great deal more, liable to infection, than the body. go with mean people, and you think life is mean. . good example.--how natural is it for a child to look up to those around him for an example of imitation, and how readily does he copy all that he sees done, good or bad. the importance of a good example on which the young may exercise this powerful and active element of their nature, is a matter of the utmost moment. . a true maxim.--it is a trite, but true maxim, that "a man is known by the company he keeps." he naturally assimilates by the force of imitation, to the habits and manners of those by whom he is surrounded. we know persons who walk much with the lame, who have learned to walk with a hitch or limp like their lame friends. vice stalks in the streets unabashed, and children copy it. . live with the culpable.--live with the culpable, and you will be very likely to die with the criminal. bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which after the first or second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty; but being once driven in up to the head, the pinchers cannot take hold to draw it out, which can only be done by the destruction of the wood. you may be ever so pure, you cannot associate with bad companions without falling into bad odor. . society of the vulgar.--do you love the society of the vulgar? then you are already debased in your sentiments. do you seek to be with the profane? in your heart you are like them. are jesters and buffoons your choice friends? { } he who loves to laugh at folly, is himself a fool. do you love and seek the society of the wise and good? is this your habit? had you rather take the lowest seat among these than the highest seat among others? then you have already learned to be good. you may not make very much progress, but even a good beginning is not to be despised. . sinks of pollution.--strive for mental excellence, and strict integrity, and you never will be found in the sinks of pollution, and on the benches of retailers and gamblers. once habituate yourself to a virtuous course, once secure a love of good society, and no punishment would be greater than by accident to be obliged for half a day to associate with the low and vulgar. try to frequent the company of your betters. . procure no friend in haste.--nor, if once secured, in haste abandon them. be slow in choosing an associate, and slower to change him; slight no man for poverty, nor esteem any one for his wealth. good friends should not be easily forgotten, nor used as suits of apparel, which, when we have worn them threadbare, we cast them off, and call for new. when once you profess yourself a friend, endeavor to be always such. he can never have any true friends that will be often changing them. . have the courage to cut the most agreeable acquaintance.--do this when you are convinced that he lacks principle; a friend should bear with a friend's infirmities, but not with his vices. he that does a base thing in zeal for his friend, burns the golden thread that ties their hearts together. * * * * * self-control. "honor and profit do not always lie in the same sack."--george herbert. "the government of one's self is the only true freedom for the individual."--frederick perthes. "it is length of patience, and endurance, and forebearance, that so much of what is called good in mankind and womankind is shown."--arthur helps. * * * * * . essence of character.--self-control is only courage under another form. it may also be regarded as the primary essence of character. it is in virtue of this quality that shakespeare defines man as a being "looking before and after." it forms the chief distinction between man and the mere animal; and, indeed, there can be no true manhood without it. [illustration: the result of bad company.] . root of all the virtues.--self-control is at the root { } of all the virtues. let a man give the reins to his impulses and passions, and from that moment he yields up his moral freedom. he is carried along the current of life, and becomes the slave of his strongest desire for the time being. . resist instinctive impulse.--to be morally free--to be more than an animal--man must be able to resist instinctive impulse, and this can only be done by exercise of self-control. thus it is this power which constitutes the real distinction between a physical and a moral life, and that forms the primary basis of individual character. . a strong man ruleth his own spirit.--in the bible praise is given, not to a strong man who "taketh a city," but to the stronger man who "ruleth his own spirit." this stronger man is he who, by discipline, exercises a constant control over his thoughts, his speech, and his acts. nine-tenths of the vicious desires that degrade society, and which, when indulged, swell into the crimes that disgrace it, would shrink into insignificance before the advance of valiant self-discipline, self-respect, and self-control. by the watchful exercise of these virtues, purity of heart and mind become habitual, and the character is built up in chastity, virtue, and temperance. . the best support.--the best support of character will always be found in habit, which, according as the will is directed rightly or wrongly, as the case may be, will prove either a benignant ruler, or a cruel despot. we may be its willing subject on the one hand, or its servile slave on the other. it may help us on the road to good, or it may hurry us on the road to ruin. . the ideal man.--"in the supremacy of self-control," says herbert spencer, "consists one of the perfections of the ideal man. not to be impulsive, not to be spurred hither and thither by each desire that in turn comes uppermost, but to be self-restrained, self-balanced, governed by the joint decision of the feelings in council assembled, before whom every action shall have been fully debated, and calmly determined--that it is which education, moral education at least, strives to produce." . the best regulated home.--the best regulated home is always that in which the discipline is the most perfect, and yet where it is the least felt. moral discipline acts with the force of a law of nature. those subject to it yield themselves to it unconsciously; and though it shapes and forms the whole character, until the life becomes crystallized in habit, the influence thus exercised is for the most part unseen, and almost unfelt. { } . practice self-denial.--if a man would get through life honorably and peaceably, he must necessarily learn to practice self-denial in small things as well as in great. men have to bear as well as to forbear. the temper has to be held in subjection to the judgment; and the little demons of ill-humor, petulance, and sarcasm, kept resolutely at a distance. if once they find an entrance to the mind, they are apt to return, and to establish for themselves a permanent occupation there. . power of words.--it is necessary to one's personal happiness, to exercise control over one's words as well as acts: for there are words that strike even harder than blows; and men may "speak daggers," though they use none. the stinging repartee that rises to the lips, and which, if uttered, might cover an adversary with confusion, how difficult it is to resist saying it! "heaven, keep us," says miss bremer, in her 'home', "from the destroying power of words! there are words that sever hearts more than sharp swords do; there are words the point of which sting the heart through the course of a whole life." . character exhibits itself.--character exhibits itself in self-control of speech as much as in anything else. the wise and forbearant man will restrain his desire to say a smart or severe thing at the expense of another's feeling; while the fool blurts out what he thinks, and will sacrifice his friend rather than his joke. "the mouth of a wise man," said solomon, "is in his heart: the heart of a fool is in his mouth." . burns.--no one knew the value of self-control better than the poet burns, and no one could teach it more eloquently to others, but when it came to practice, burns was as weak as the weakest. he could not deny himself the pleasure of uttering a harsh and clever sarcasm at another's expense. one of his biographers observed of him, that it was no extravagant arithmetic to say that for every ten jokes he made himself a hundred enemies. but this was not all. poor burns exercised no control over his appetites, but freely gave them the rein: "thus thoughtless follies laid him low, and stained his name." [illustration: lost self-control.] . sow pollution.--nor had he the self-denial to resist giving publicity to compositions originally intended for the delight of the tap-room, but which continued secretly to sow pollution broadcast in the minds of youth. indeed, notwithstanding the many exquisite poems of this writer, it is not saying too much that his immoral writings have done far more harm than his purer writings have done good; and { } it would be better that all his writings should be destroyed and forgotten, provided his indecent songs could be destroyed with them. . moral principle.--many of our young men lack moral principle. they cannot look upon a beautiful girl with a pure heart and pure thoughts. they have not manifested or practiced that self-control which develops true manhood, and brings into subordination evil thoughts, evil passions, and evil practices. men who have no self-control will find life a failure, both in a social and in a business sense. the world despises an insignificant person who lacks backbone and character. stand upon your manhood and womanhood; honor your convictions, and dare to do right. . strong drink.--there is the habit of strong drink. it is only the lack of self-control that brings men into the depths of degradation; on account of the cup, the habit of taking drink occasionally in its milder forms--of playing with a small appetite that only needs sufficient playing with to make you a demon or a dolt. you think you are safe; i know you are not safe, if you drink at all; and when you get offended with the good friends that warn you of your danger, you are a fool. i know that the grave swallows daily, by scores, drunkards, every one of whom thought he was safe while he was forming his appetite. but this is old talk. a young man in this age who forms the habit of drinking, or puts himself in danger of forming the habit, is usually so weak that it doesn't pay to save him. * * * * * { } habit. it is almost as difficult to make a man unlearn his errors as his knowledge.--colton. there are habits contracted by bad example, or bad management, before we have judgment to discern their approaches, or because the eye of reason is laid asleep, or has not compass of view sufficient to look around on every quarter.--tucker. * * * * * . habit.--our real strength in life depends upon habits formed in early life. the young man who sows his wild oats and indulges in the social cup, is fastening chains upon himself that never can be broken. the innocent youth by solitary practice of self-abuse will fasten upon himself a habit which will wreck his physical constitution and bring suffering and misery and ruin. young man and young woman, beware of bad habits formed in early life. . a bundle of habits.--man, it has been said, is a bundle of habits; and habit is second nature. metastasio entertained so strong an opinion as to the power of repetition in act and thought, that he said, "all is habit in mankind, even virtue itself." evil habits must be conquered, or they will conquer us and destroy our peace and happiness. . vicious habits.--vicious habits, when opposed, offer the most vigorous resistence on the first attack. at each successive encounter this resistence grows fainter and fainter, until finally it ceases altogether and the victory is achieved. habit is man's best friend and worst enemy; it can exalt him to the highest pinnacle of virtue, honor and happiness, or sink him to the lowest depths of vice, shame and misery. . honesty, or knavery.--we may form habits of honesty, or knavery; truth, or falsehood; of industry, or idleness; frugality, or extravagance; of patience, or impatience; self-denial, or self-indulgence; of kindness, cruelty, politeness, rudeness, prudence, perseverance, circumspection. in short, there is not a virtue, nor a vice; not an act of body, nor of mind, to which we may not be chained down by this despotic power. . begin well.--it is a great point for young men to begin well; for it is the beginning of life that that system of conduct is adopted which soon assumes the force of habit. begin well, and the habit of doing well will become quite easy, as easy as the habit of doing badly. pitch upon that course of life which is the most excellent, and habit will render it the most delightful. * * * * * { } a good name. . the longing for a good name.--the longing for a good name is one of those laws of nature that were passed for the soul and written down within to urge toward a life of action, and away from small or wicked action. so large is this passion that it is set forth in poetic thought, as having a temple grand as that of jupiter or minerva, and up whose marble steps all noble minds struggle--the temple of fame. . civilization.--civilization is the ocean of which the millions of individuals are the rivers and torrents. these rivers and torrents swell with those rains of money and home and fame and happiness, and then fall and run almost dry, but the ocean of civilization has gathered up all these waters, and holds them in sparkling beauty for all subsequent use. civilization is a fertile delta made by the drifting souls of men. . fame.--the word "fame" never signifies simply notoriety. the meaning of the direct term may be seen from its negation or opposite, for only the meanest of men are called infamous. they are utterly without fame, utterly nameless; but if fame implied only notoriety then infamous would possess no marked significance. fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but who bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals and follows them to the grave. . life-motive.--so in studying that life-motive which is called a "good name," we must ask the large human race to tell us the high merit of this spiritual longing. we must read the words of the sage, who said long centuries ago that "a good name was rather chosen than great riches." other sages have said as much. solon said that "he that will sell his good name will sell the state." socrates said, "fame is the perfume of heroic deeds." our shakspeare said, "he lives in fame who died in virtue's cause." . influences of our age.--our age is deeply influenced by the motives called property and home and pleasure, but it is a question whether the generation in action to-day and the generation on the threshold of this intense life are conscious fully of the worth of an honorable name. . beauty of character.--we do not know whether with us all a good name is less sweet than it was with our fathers, but this is painfully evident, that our times do not sufficiently behold the beauty of character--their sense does not { } detect quickly enough or love deeply enough this aroma of heroic deeds. . selling out their reputation.--it is amazing what multitudes there are who are willing to sell out their reputation, and amazing at what a low price they will make the painful exchange. some king remarked that he would not tell a lie for any reward less than an empire. it is not uncommon in our world for a man to sell out all his honor and hopes for a score or a half score of dollars. . prisons overflowing.--our prisons are all full to overflowing of those who took no thought of honor. they have not waited for an empire to be offered them before they would violate the sacred rights of man, but many of them have even murdered for a cause that would not have justified even an exchange of words. . integrity the pride of the government.--if integrity were made the pride of the government, the love of it would soon spring up among the people. if all fraudulent men should go straight to jail, pitilessly, and if all the most rigid characters were sought out for all political and commercial offices, there would soon come a popular honesty just as there has come a love of reading or of art. it is with character as with any new article--the difficulty lies in its first introduction. . a new virtue.--may a new virtue come into favor, all our high rewards, those from the ballot-box, those from employers, the rewards of society, the rewards of the press, should be offered only to the worthy. a few years of rewarding the worthy would result in a wonderful zeal in the young to build up, not physical property, but mental and spiritual worth. [illustration: an arab princess.] . blessing the family group.--no young man or young woman can by industry and care reach an eminence in study or art or character, without blessing the entire family group. we have all seen that the father and mother feel that all life's care and labor were at last perfectly rewarded in the success of their child. but had the child been reckless or indolent, all this domestic joy--the joy of a large group--would have been blighted forever. . an honored child.--there have been triumphs at old rome, where victors marched along with many a chariot, many an elephant, and many spoils of the east; and in all times money has been lavished in the efforts of states to tell their pleasure in the name of some general; but more numerous and wide-spread and beyond expression, by chariot or cannon or drum, have been those triumphal { } hours, when some son or daughter has returned to the parental hearth beautiful in the wreaths of some confessed excellence, bearing a good name. . rich criminals.--we looked at the utter wretchedness of the men who threw away reputation, and would rather be rich criminals in exile than be loved friends and persons at home. . an empty, or an evil name.--young and old cannot afford to bear the burden of an empty or an evil name. a good name is a motive of life. it is a reason for that great encampment we call an existence. while you are building the home of to-morrow, build up also that kind of soul that can sleep sweetly on home's pillow, and can feel that god is not near as an avenger of wrong, but as the father not only of the verdure and the seasons, but of you. live a pure life and bear a good name, and your reward will be sure and great. * * * * * { } the mother's influence. mother, o mother, my heart calls for you, many a summer the grass has grown green, blossomed and faded, our faces between; yet with strong yearning and passionate pain, long i to-night for your presence again.--_elizabeth akers allen._ a mother is a mother still, the holiest thing alive.--_coleridge._ there is none, in all this cold and hollow world, no fount of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within a mother's heart.--_mrs. hemans._ and all my mother came into mine eyes, and gave me up to tears.--_shakespeare._ * * * * * [illustration: a prayerful and devoted mother.] . her influence.--it is true to nature, although it be expressed in a figurative form, that a mother is both the morning and the evening star of life. the light of her eye is always the first to rise, and often the last to set upon man's day of trial. she wields a power more decisive far than syllogisms in argument or courts of last appeal in authority. . her love.--mother! ecstatic sound so twined round our hearts that they must cease to throb ere we forget it; 'tis our first love; 'tis part of religion. nature has set the mother upon such a pinnacle that our infant eyes and arms are first uplifted to it; we cling to it in manhood; we almost worship it in old age. . her tenderness.--alas! how little do we appreciate a mother's tenderness while living. how heedless are we in youth of all her anxieties and kindness! but when she is dead and gone, when the cares and coldness of the world come withering to our hearts, when we experience for ourselves how hard it is to find true sympathy, how few to love us, how few will befriend us in misfortune, then it is that we think of the mother we have lost. . her controlling power.--the mother can take man's whole nature under her control. she becomes what she has been called, "the divinity of infancy." her smile is its sunshine, her word its mildest law, until sin and the world have steeled the heart. { } . the last tie.--the young man who has forsaken the advice and influence of his mother has broken the last cable and severed the last tie that binds him to an honorable and upright life. he has forsaken his best friend, and every hope for his future welfare may be abandoned, for he is lost forever. if he is faithless to mother, he will have but little respect for wife and children. . home ties.--the young man or young woman who love their home and love their mother can be safely trusted under almost any and all circumstances, and their life will not be a blank, for they seek what is good. their hearts will be ennobled, and god will bless them. * * * * * { } home power. "the mill-streams that turn the clappers of the world arise in solitary places."--helps. "lord! with what care hast thou begirt us round! parents first season us. then schoolmasters deliver us to laws. they send us bound to rules of reason."--george herbert. * * * * * [illustration: home amusement.] . school of character.--home is the first and most important school of character. it is there that every human being receives his best moral training, or his worst, for it is there that he imbibes those principles of conduct which endure through manhood, and cease only with life. . home makes the man.--it is a common saying, "manners make the man;" and there is a second, that "mind makes the man;" but truer than either is a third, that "home makes the man." for the home-training includes not only manners and mind, but character. it is mainly in the home that the heart is opened, the habits are formed, the intellect is awakened, and character moulded for good or for evil. { } . govern society.--from that source, be it pure or impure, issue the principles and maxims that govern society. law itself is but the reflex of homes. the tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of children in private life afterwards issue forth to the world, and become its public opinion; for nations are gathered out of nurseries, and they who hold the leading-strings of children may even exercise a greater power than those who wield the reins of government. . the child is father of the man.--the child's character is the nucleus of the man's; all after-education is but superposition; the form of the crystal remains the same. thus the saying of the poet holds true in a large degree, "the child is father of the man;" or as milton puts it, "the childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day." those impulses to conduct which last the longest and are rooted the deepest, always have their origin near our birth. it is then that the germs of virtues or vices, of feelings or sentiments, are first implanted which determine the character of life. . nurseries.--thus homes, which are nurseries of children who grow up into men and women, will be good or bad according to the power that governs them. where the spirit of love and duty pervades the home, where head and heart bear rule wisely there, where the daily life is honest and virtuous, where the government is sensible, kind, and loving, then may we expect from such a home an issue of healthy, useful, and happy beings, capable as they gain the requisite strength, of following the footsteps of their parents, of walking uprightly, governing themselves wisely, and contributing to the welfare of those about them. . ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness.--on the other hand, if surrounded by ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness, they will unconsciously assume the same character, and grow up to adult years rude, uncultivated, and all the more dangerous to society if placed amidst the manifold temptations of what is called civilized life. "give your child to be educated by a slave," said an ancient greek, "and, instead of one slave, you will then have two." . maternal love.--maternal love is the visible providence of our race. its influence is constant and universal. it begins with the education of the human being at the outstart of life, and is prolonged by virtue of the powerful influence which every good mother exercises over her children through life. when launched into the world, each to take part in its labors, anxieties, and trials, they still turn { } to their mother for consolation, if not for counsel, in their time of trouble and difficulty. the pure and good thoughts she has implanted in their minds when children continue to grow up into good acts long after she is dead; and when there is nothing but a memory of her left, her children rise up and call her blessed. . woman, above all other educators, educates humanly. man is the brain, but woman is the heart of humanity; he its judgment, she its feeling; he its strength, she its grace, ornament, and solace. even the understanding of the best woman seems to work mainly through her affections. and thus, though man may direct the intellect, woman cultivates the feelings, which mainly determine the character. while he fills the memory, she occupies the heart. she makes us love what he can make us only believe, and it is chiefly through her that we are enabled to arrive at virtue. . the poorest dwelling, presided over by a virtuous, thrifty, cheerful, and cleanly woman, may thus be the abode of comfort, virtue, and happiness; it may be the scene of every ennobling relation in family life; it may be endeared to man by many delightful associations; furnishing a sanctuary for the heart, a refuge from the storms of life, a sweet resting-place after labor, a consolation in misfortune, a pride in prosperity, and a joy at all times. . the good home is thus the best of schools, not only in youth but in age. there young and old best learn cheerfulness, patience, self-control, and the spirit of service and of duty. the home is the true school of courtesy, of which woman is always the best practical instructor. "without woman," says the provencal proverb, "men were but ill-licked cubs." philanthropy radiates from the home as from a centre. "to love the little platoon we belong to in society," said burke, "is the germ of all public affections." the wisest and best have not been ashamed to own it to be their greatest joy and happiness to sit "behind the heads of children" in the inviolable circle of home. [illustration] { } to young women. [illustration: meditation.] . to be a woman, in the truest and highest sense of the word, is to be the best thing beneath the skies. to be a woman is something more than to live eighteen or twenty years; something more than to grow to the physical stature of women; something more than to wear flounces, exhibit dry goods, sport jewelry, catch the gaze of lewd-eyed men; { } something more than to be a belle, a wife, or a mother. put all these qualifications together and they do but little toward making a true woman. . beauty and style are not the surest passports to womanhood--some of the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen have presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance. a woman's worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart, the greatness of her soul, and the purity and sweetness of her character; and a woman with a kindly disposition and well-balanced temper is both lovely and attractive, be her face ever so plain, and her figure ever so homely; she makes the best of wives and the truest of mothers. . beauty is a dangerous gift.--it is even so. like wealth, it has ruined its thousands. thousands of the most beautiful women are destitute of common sense and common humanity. no gift from heaven is so general and so widely abused by woman as the gift of beauty. in about nine cases in ten it makes her silly, senseless, thoughtless, giddy, vain, proud, frivolous, selfish, low and mean. i think i have seen more girls spoiled by beauty than by any other one thing. "she is beautiful, and she knows it," is as much as to say that she is spoiled. a beautiful girl is very likely to believe she was made to be looked at; and so she sets herself up for a show at every window, in every door, on every corner of the street, in every company at which opportunity offers for an exhibition of herself. . beware of beautiful women.--these facts have long since taught sensible men to beware of beautiful women--to sound them carefully before they give them their confidence. beauty is shallow--only skin deep; fleeting--only for a few years' reign; dangerous--tempting to vanity and lightness of mind; deceitful--dazzling often to bewilder; weak--reigning only to ruin; gross--leading often to sensual pleasure. and yet we say it need not be so. beauty is lovely and ought to be innocently possessed. it has charms which ought to be used for good purposes. it is a delightful gift, which ought to be received with gratitude and worn with grace and meekness. it should always minister to inward beauty. every woman of beautiful form and features should cultivate a beautiful mind and heart. . rival the boys.--we want the girls to rival the boys in all that is good, and refined, and ennobling. we want them to rival the boys, as they well can, in learning, in understanding, in virtues; in all noble qualities of mind and heart, but not in any of those things that have caused them, justly or unjustly, to be described as savages. we want { } the girls to be gentle--not weak, but gentle, and kind and affectionate. we want to be sure, that wherever a girl is, there should be a sweet, subduing and harmonizing influence of purity, and truth, and love, pervading and hallowing, from center to circumference, the entire circle in which she moves. if the boys are savages, we want her to be their civilizer. we want her to tame them, to subdue their ferocity, to soften their manners, and to teach them all needful lessons of order, sobriety, and meekness, and patience, and goodness. . kindness.--kindness is the ornament of man--it is the chief glory of woman--it is, indeed, woman's true prerogative--her sceptre and her crown. it is the sword with which she conquers, and the charm with which she captivates. . admired and beloved.--young lady, would you be admired and beloved? would you be an ornament to your sex, and a blessing to your race? cultivate this heavenly virtue. wealth may surround you with its blandishments, and beauty, and learning, or talents, may give you admirers, but love and kindness alone can captivate the heart. whether you live in a cottage or a palace, these graces can surround you with perpetual sunshine, making you, and all around you, happy. . inward grace.--seek ye then, fair daughters, the possession of that inward grace, whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the affections, adorn the countenance, make mellifluous the voice, and impart a hallowed beauty even to your motions. not merely that you may be loved, would i urge this, but that you may, in truth, be lovely--that loveliness which fades not with time, nor is marred or alienated by disease, but which neither chance nor change can in any way despoil. . silken enticements of the stranger.--we urge you, gentle maiden, to beware of the silken enticements of the stranger, until your love is confirmed by protracted acquaintance. shun the idler, though his coffers overflow with pelf. avoid the irreverent--the scoffer of hallowed things; and him who "looks upon the wine while it is red;" him too, "who hath a high look and a proud heart," and who "privily slandereth his neighbor." do not heed the specious prattle about "first love," and so place, irrevocably, the seal upon your future destiny, before you have sounded, in silence and secrecy, the deep fountains of your own heart. wait, rather, until your own character and that of him who would woo you, is more fully developed. surely, if this "first love" cannot endure a short probation, fortified by "the { } pleasures of hope," how can it be expected to survive years of intimacy, scenes of trial, distracting cares, wasting sickness, and all the homely routine of practical life? yet it is these that constitute life, and the love that cannot abide them is false and must die. * * * * * { } influence of female character. [illustration: roman ladies.] . moral effect.--it is in its moral effect on the mind and the heart of man, that the influence of woman is most powerful and important. in the diversity of tastes, habits, inclinations, and pursuits of the two sexes, is found a most beneficent provision for controlling the force and extravagance of human passion. the objects which most strongly seize and stimulate the mind of man, rarely act at the same time and with equal power on the mind of woman. she is naturally better, purer, and more chaste in thought and language. . female character.--but the influence of female character on the virtue of men, is not seen merely in restraining and softening the violence of human passion. to her is mainly committed the task of pouring into the opening mind of infancy its first impressions of duty, and of stamping on its susceptible heart the first image of its god. who will not confess the influence of a mother in forming the heart of a child? what man is there who can not trace the origin of many of the best maxims of his life to the lips of her who gave him birth? how wide, how lasting, how sacred is that part of a woman's influence. . virtue of a community.--there is yet another mode, by which woman may exert a powerful influence on the virtue of a community. it rests with her in a pre-eminent degree, to give tone and elevation to the moral character of the age, by deciding the degree of virtue that shall be necessary to afford a passport to her society. if all the favor of woman were given only to the good, if it were known that the charms and attractions of beauty, and wisdom, and wit, were reserved only for the pure; if, in one word, something of a similar rigor were exerted to exclude the profligate and abandoned of society, as is shown to those who have fallen from virtue,--how much would be done to re-enforce the motives to moral purity among us, and impress on the minds of all a reverence for the sanctity and obligations of virtue. . the influence of woman on the moral sentiments.--the influence of woman on the moral sentiments of society is intimately connected with her influence on its religious character; for religion and a pure and elevated morality must ever stand in the relation to each other of effect and cause. the heart of a woman is formed for the abode of sacred truth; and for the reasons alike honorable to her character and to that of society. from the nature of humanity this must be so, or the race would soon degenerate, and moral contagion eat out the heart of society. the purity of home is the safeguard to american manhood. * * * * * { } personal purity. "self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control, these three alone lead life to sovereign power."--tennyson. * * * * * [illustration] . words of the great teacher.--mark the words of the great teacher: "if thy right hand or foot cause thee to fall, cut it off and cast it from thee. if thy right eye cause thee to fall, pluck it out. it is better for thee to enter into life maimed and halt, than having two eyes to be cast into hell-fire, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched." . a melancholy fact.--it is a melancholy fact, in human experience, that the noblest gifts which men possess are constantly prostituted to other purposes than those for which they are designed. the most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest dishonor, abuse, and corruption. what a snare the wonderful organism of the eye may become, when used to read corrupt books, or to look upon licentious pictures, or vulgar theater scenes, or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! what an instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain, the hand, the mouth, or the tongue! what potent instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole being, for time and eternity! { } . abstinence.--some can testify with thankfulness that they never knew the sins of gambling, drunkenness, fornication, or adultery. in all these cases abstinence has been, and continues to be, liberty. restraint is the noblest freedom. no man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him; on the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing. solemnly ask young men to remember this when temptation and passion strive as a floodtide to move them from the anchorage and peace of self-restraint. beware of the deceitful stream of temporary gratification, whose eddying current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death. remember how quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment! . frank discussion.--the time has arrived for a full and frank discussion of those things which affect the personal purity. thousands are suffering to-day from various weaknesses, the causes of which they have never learned. manly vigor is not increasing with that rapidity which a christian age demands. means of dissipation are on the increase. it is high time, therefore, that every lover of the race should call a halt, and inquire into the condition of things. excessive modesty on this subject is not virtue. timidity in presenting unpleasant but important truths has permitted untold damage in every age. . man is a careless being.--he is very much inclined to sinful things. he more often does that which is wrong than that which is right, because it is easier, and, for the moment, perhaps, more satisfying to the flesh. the creator is often blamed for man's weaknesses and inconsistencies. this is wrong. god did not intend that we should be mere machines, but free moral agents. we are privileged to choose between good and evil. hence, if we perseveringly choose the latter, and make a miserable failure of life, we should blame only ourselves. . the pulpit.--would that every pulpit in the land might join hands with the medical profession and cry out with no uncertain sound against the mighty evils herein stigmatized! it would work a revolution for which coming society could never cease to be grateful. . strive to attain a higher life.--strive to attain unto a higher and better life. beware of all excesses, of whatever nature, and guard your personal purity with sacred determination. let every aspiration be upward, and be strong in every good resolution. seek the light, for in light there is life, while in darkness there is decay and death. { } [illustration: confidence that sometimes makes trouble.] * * * * * { } how to write all kinds of letters. [illustration] . from the president in his cabinet to the laborer in the street; from the lady in her parlor to the servant in her kitchen; from the millionaire to the beggar; from the emigrant to the settler; from every country and under every combination of circumstances, letter writing in all its forms and varieties is most important to the advancement, welfare and happiness of the human family. . education.---the art of conveying thought through the medium of written language is so valuable and so necessary, a thorough knowledge of the practice must be desirable to every one. for merely to write a good letter requires the exercise of much of the education and talent of any writer. . a good letter.--a good letter must be correct in every mechanical detail, finished in style, interesting in substance, and intelligible in construction. few there are who do not need write them; yet a letter perfect in detail is rarer than any other specimen of composition. . penmanship.--it is folly to suppose that the faculty for writing a good hand is confined to any particular persons. there is no one who can write at all, but what can write well, if only the necessary pains are practiced. practice makes perfect. secure a few copy books and write an hour each day. you will soon write a good hand. { } . write plainly.--every word of even the most trifling document should be written in such clear characters that it would be impossible to mistake it for another word, or the writer may find himself in the position of the eastern merchant who, writing to the indies for five thousand mangoes, received by the next vessel five hundred monkies, with a promise of more in the next cargo. . haste.--hurry is no excuse for bad writing, because any one of sense knows that everything hurried is liable to be ruined. dispatch may be acquired, but hurry will ruin everything. if, however, you must write slowly to write well, then be careful not to hurry at all, for the few moments you will gain by rapid writing will never compensate you for the disgrace of sending an ill-written letter. . neatness.--neatness is also of great importance. a fair white sheet with handsomely written words will be more welcome to any reader than a blotted, bedaubed page covered with erasures and dirt, even if the matter in each be of equal value and interest. erasures, blots, interlineations always spoil the beauty of any letter. . bad spelling.--when those who from faulty education, or forgetfulness are doubtful about the correct spelling of any word, it is best to keep a dictionary at hand, and refer to it upon such occasions. it is far better to spend a few moments in seeking for a doubtful word, than to dispatch an ill-spelled letter, and the search will probably impress the spelling upon the mind for a future occasion. . carelessness.--incorrect spelling will expose the most important or interesting letter to the severest sarcasm and ridicule. however perfect in all other respects, no epistle that is badly spelled will be regarded as the work of an educated gentleman or lady. carelessness will never be considered, and to be ignorant of spelling is to expose an imperfect education at once. . an excellent practice.--after writing a letter, read it over carefully, correct all the errors and re-write it. if you desire to become a good letter writer, improve your penmanship, improve your language and grammar, re-writing once or twice every letter that you have occasion to write, whether on social or business subjects. . punctuation.--a good rule for punctuation is to punctuate where the sense requires it, after writing a letter and reading it over carefully you will see where the punctuation marks are required, you can readily determine where the sense requires it, so that your letter will convey the desired meaning. { } [illustration] . correspondence.--there is no better school or better source for self-improvement than a pleasant correspondence between friends. it is not at all difficult to secure a good list of correspondents if desired. the young people who take advantage of such opportunities for self-improvement will be much more popular in the community and in society. letter writing cultivates the habit of study; it cultivates the mind, the heart, and stimulates self-improvement in general. . folding.--another bad practice with those unaccustomed to corresponding is to fold the sheet of writing in such a fantastic manner as to cause the receiver much annoyance in opening it. to the sender it may appear a very ingenious performance, but to the receiver it is only a source of vexation and annoyance, and may prevent the communication receiving the attention it would otherwise merit. . simple style.--the style of letter writing should be simple and unaffected, not raised on stilts and indulging in pedantic displays which are mostly regarded as cloaks of ignorance. repeated literary quotations, involved sentences, long-sounding words and scraps of latin, french and other languages are, generally speaking, out of place, and should not be indulged in. . the result.--a well written letter has opened the way to prosperity for many a one, has led to many a happy marriage and constant friendship, and has secured many a good service in time of need; for it is in some measure a photograph of the writer, and may inspire love or hatred, regard or aversion in the reader, just as the glimpse of a portrait often determine us, in our estimate, of the worth of the person represented. therefore, one of the roads to fortune runs through the ink bottle, and if we want to attain a certain end in love, friendship or business, we must trace out the route correctly with the pen in our hand. { } [illustration] how to write a love letter. . love.--there is no greater or more profound reality than love. why that reality should be obscured by mere sentimentalism, with all its train of absurdities is incomprehensible. there is no nobler possession than the love of another. there is no higher gift from one human being to another than love. the gift and the possession are true sanctifiers of life, and should be worn as precious jewels without affectation and without bashfulness. for this reason there is nothing to be ashamed of in a love letter, provided it be sincere. . forfeits.--no man need consider that he forfeits dignity if he speaks with his whole heart: no woman need fear she forfeits her womanly attributes if she responds as her heart bids her respond. "perfect love casteth out fear" is as true now as when the maxim was first given to the world. . telling their love.--the generality of the sex is love to be loved: how are they to know the fact that they { } are loved unless they are told? to write a sensible love letter requires more talent than to solve, with your pen, a profound problem in philosophy. lovers must not then expect much from each other's epistles. . confidential.--ladies and gentlemen who correspond with each other should never be guilty of exposing any of the contents of any letters written expressing confidence, attachment or love. the man who confides in a lady and honors her with his confidence should be treated with perfect security and respect, and those who delight in showing their confidential letters to others are unworthy, heartless and unsafe companions. . return of letters.--if letters were written under circumstances which no longer exist and all confidential relations are at an end, then all letters should be promptly returned. . how to begin a love letter.--how to begin a love letter has been no doubt the problem of lovers and suitors of all ages and nations. fancy the youth of young america with lifted pen, thinking how he shall address his beloved. much depends upon this letter. what shall he say, and how shall he say it, is the great question. perseverance, however, will solve the problem and determine results. . forms of beginning a love letter.--never say, "my dearest nellie," "my adored nellie," or "my darling nellie," until nellie has first called you "my dear," or has given you to understand that such familiar terms are permissible. as a rule a gentleman will never err if he says "dear miss nellie," and if the letters are cordially reciprocated the "miss" may in time be omitted, or other familiar terms used instead. in addressing a widow "dear madam," or, "my dear madam," will be a proper form until sufficient intimacy will justify the use of other terms. . respect.--a lady must always be treated with respectful delicacy, and a gentleman should never use the term "dear" or "my dear" under any circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long and friendly acquaintance justifies it. . how to finish a letter.--a letter will be suggested by the remarks on how to begin one. "yours respectfully," "yours truly," "yours sincerely," "yours affectionately," "yours ever affectionately," "yours most affectionately," "ever yours," "ever your own," or "yours," are all appropriate, each depending upon the beginning of the letter. it is difficult to see any phrase which could be added to them which would carry more meaning than they { } contain. people can sign themselves "adorers" and such like, but they do so at the peril of good taste. it is not good that men or women "worship" each other--if they succeed in preserving reciprocal love and esteem they will have cause for great contentment. . permission.--no young man should ever write to a young lady any letter, formal or informal, unless he has first sought her permission to do so. . special forms.--we give various forms or models of love letters to be _studied, not copied_. we have given no replies to the forms given, as every letter written will naturally suggest an answer. a careful study will be a great help to many who have not enjoyed the advantages of a literary education. [illustration] _forms of social letters._ * * * * * _ .--from a young lady to a clergyman asking a recommendation._ nantwich, may th, . reverend and dear sir: having seen an advertisment for a school mistress in the daily times, i have been recommended to offer myself as a candidate. will you kindly favor me { } with a testimonial as to my character, ability and conduct while at boston normal school? should you consider that i am fitted for the position, you would confer a great favor on me if you would interest yourself in my behalf. i remain, reverend sir, your most obedient and humble servant, laura b. nichols. _ .--applying for a position as a teacher of music._ scotland, conn., january st, . madam: seeing your advertisement in the clarion of to-day, i write to offer my services as a teacher of music in your family. i am a graduate of the peabody institute, of baltimore, where i was thoroughly instructed in instrumental and vocal music. i refer by permission to mrs. a. j. davis, walnut street; mrs. franklin hill, spring garden street, and mrs. william murray, spruce street, in whose families i have given lessons. hoping that you may see fit to employ me, i am, very respectfully yours, nellie reynolds. _ .--applying for a situation as a cook._ charlton place, september th, . madam: having seen your advertisement for a cook in today's times, i beg to offer myself for your place. i am a thorough cook. i can make clear soups, entrees, jellies, and all kinds of made dishes. i can bake, and am also used to a dairy. my wages are $ per week, and i can give good reference from my last place, in which i lived for two years. i am thirty-three years of age. i remain, madam, yours very respectfully, mary mooney. _ .--recommending a school teacher._ ottawa, ill., february th, . col. geo. h. haight, president board of trustees, etc. dear sir: i take pleasure in recommending to your favorable consideration the application of miss hannah alexander for the position of teacher in the public school at weymouth. { } miss alexander is a graduate of the davidson seminary, and for the past year has taught a school in this place. my children have been among her pupils, and their progress has been entirely satisfactory to me. miss alexander is a strict disciplinarian, an excellent teacher, and is thoroughly competent to conduct the school for which she applies. trusting that you may see fit to bestow upon her the appointment she seeks, i am, yours very respectfully, alice miller. _ .--a business introduction._ chicago., ill., may st, . j. w. brown, earlville, ill. my dear sir: this will introduce to you mr. william channing, of this city, who visits earlville on a matter of business, which he will explain to you in person. you can rely upon his statements, as he is a gentleman of high character, and should you be able to render him any assistance, it would be greatly appreciated by yours truly, haight larabee. _ .--introducing one lady to another._ dundee, tenn., may th, . dear mary: allow me to introduce to you my ever dear friend, miss nellie reynolds, the bearer of this letter. you have heard me speak of her so often that you will know at once who she is. as i am sure you will be mutually pleased with each other, i have asked her to inform you of her presence in your city. any attention you may show her will be highly appreciated by yours affectionately, lizzie eicher. _ .--to a lady, apologizing for a broken engagement._ albany, n. y., may th, . my dear miss lee: permit me to explain my failure to keep my appointment with you this evening. i was on my way to your house, with the assurance of a pleasant evening, when unfortunately i was very unexpectedly called from home on very important business. i regret my disappointment, but hope that the future may afford us many pleasant meetings. sincerely your friend, irving goodrich. { } _ .--form of an excuse for a pupil._ thursday morning, april th. mr. bunnel: you will please excuse william for non-attendance at school yesterday, as i was compelled to keep him at home to attend to a matter of business. mrs. a. smith. _ .--form of letter accompanying a present._ louisville, july , . my dearest nelly: many happy returns of the day. so fearful was i that it would escape your memory, that i thought i would send you this little trinket by way of reminder. i beg you to accept it and wear it for the sake of the giver. with love and best wishes. believe me ever, your sincere friend, caroline collins. _ .--returning thanks for the present._ louisville, july , . dear mrs. collins: i am very much obliged to you for the handsome bracelet you have sent me. how kind and thoughtful it was of you to remember me on my birthday. i am sure i have every cause to bless the day, and did i forget it, i have many kind friends to remind me of it. again thanking you for your present, which is far too beautiful for me, and also for your kind wishes. believe me, your most grateful bertha smith. _ .--congratulating a friend upon his marriage._ menton, n.y., may th, . my dear everett: i have to-day received the invitation to your wedding, and as i cannot be present at that happy event to offer my congratulations in person, i write. i am heartily glad you are going to be married, and congratulate you upon the wisdom of your choice. you have won a noble as well as a beautiful woman, and one whose love will make you a happy man to your life's end. may god grant that trouble may not come near you, but should it be your lot, you will have a wife to whom you can look with confidence for comfort, and whose good sense and devotion to you will be your sure and unfailing support. that you may both be very happy, and that your happiness may increase with your years, is the prayer of your friend, frank howard. { } [illustration: declaration of affection] any extravagant flattery should be avoided, both as tending to disgust those to whom it is addressed, as well as to degrade the writers, and to create suspicion as to their sincerity. the sentiments should spring from the tenderness of the heart, and, when faithfully and delicately expressed, will never be read without exciting sympathy or emotion in all hearts not absolutely deadened by insensibility. { } [illustration] _forms of love letters._ _ .--an ardent declaration._. naperville, ill., june th, . my dearest laura: i can no longer restrain myself from writing to you, dearest and best of girls, what i have often been on the point of saying to you. i love you so much that i cannot find words in which to express my feelings. i have loved you from the very first day we met, and always shall. do you blame me because i write so freely? i should be unworthy of you if i did not tell you the whole truth. oh, laura, can you love me in return? i am sure i shall not be able to bear it if your answer is unfavorable. i will study your every wish if you will give me the right to do so. may i hope? send just one kind word to your sincere friend, harry smith. _ .--a lover's good-bye before starting on a journey._ pearl st., new york, march th, . my dearest nellie: i am off to-morrow, and yet not altogether, for i leave my heart behind in your gentle keeping. you need not place a guard over it, however, for it is as impossible that it should stay away, as for a bit of steel { } to rush from a magnet. the simile is eminently correct, for you, my dear girl, are a magnet, and my heart is as true to you as steel. i shall make my absence as brief as possible. not a day, not an hour, not a minute, shall i waste either in going or returning. oh, this business; but i won't complain, for we must have something for our hive besides honey--something that rhymes with it--and that we must have it, i must bestir myself. you will find me a faithful correspondent. like the spider, i shall drop a line by (almost) every post; and mind, you must give me letter for letter. i can't give you credit. your returns must be prompt and punctual. passionately yours, lewis shuman. to miss nellie carter, no. ---- fifth avenue, new york. _ .--from an absent lover._ chicago, ill., sept. , . my dearest kate: this sheet of paper, though i should cover it with loving words, could never tell you truly how i long to see you again. time does not run on with me now at the same pace as with other people; the hours seem days, the days weeks, while i am absent from you, and i have no faith in the accuracy of clocks and almanacs. ah! if there were truth in clairvoyance, wouldn't i be with you at this moment! i wonder if you are as impatient to see me as i am to fly to you? sometimes it seems as if i must leave business and everything else to the fates, and take the first train to dawson. however, the hours do move, though they don't appear to, and in a few more weeks we shall meet again. let me hear from you as frequently as possible in the meantime. tell me of your health, your amusements and your affections. remember that every word you write will be a comfort to me. unchangeably yours, william miller. to miss kate martin, dawson, n. d. _ .--a declaration of love at first sight_. waterford, maine, may th, . dear miss searles: although i have been in your society but once, the impression you have made upon me is so deep and powerful that i cannot forbear writing to you, in defiance of all rules of etiquette. affection is sometimes of slow growth: { } but sometimes it springs up in a moment. in half an hour after i was introduced to you my heart was no longer my own. i have not the assurance to suppose that i have been fortunate enough to create any interest in yours; but will you allow me to cultivate your acquaintance in the hope of being able to win your regard in the course of time? petitioning for a few lines in reply, i remain, dear miss searles, yours devotedly, e. c. nicks. miss e. searles, waterford, maine. _ .--proposing marriage._ wednesday, october th, . dearest etta: the delightful hours i have passed in your society have left an impression on my mind that is altogether indelible, and cannot be effaced even by time itself. the frequent opportunities i have possessed, of observing the thousand acts of amiability and kindness which mark the daily tenor of your life, have ripened my feelings of affectionate regard into a passion at once ardent and sincere, until i have at length associated my hopes of future happiness with the idea of you as a life partner, in them. believe me, dearest etta, this is no puerile fancy, but the matured results of a long and warmly cherished admiration of your many charms of person and mind. it is love--pure, devoted love, and i feel confident that your knowledge of my character will lead you to ascribe my motives to their true source. may i then implore you to consult your own heart, and should this avowal of my fervent and honorable passion for you be crowned with your acceptance and approval, to grant me permission to refer the matter to your parents. anxiously awaiting your answer, i am, dearest etta, your sincere and faithful lover, geo. courtright. to miss etta jay, malden, ill. { } _ .--from a gentleman to a widow._ philadelphia, may th, . my dear mrs. freeman: i am sure you are too clear-sighted not to have observed the profound impression which your amiable qualities, intelligence and personal attractions have made upon my heart, and as you have not repelled my attentions nor manifested displeasure when i ventured to hint at the deep interest i felt in your welfare and happiness, i cannot help hoping that you will receive an explicit expression of my attachments, kindly and favorably. i wish it were in my power to clothe the feelings i entertain for you in such words as should make my pleadings irresistible; but, after all, what could i say, more than you are very dear to me, and that the most earnest desire of my soul is to have the privilege of calling you my wife? do you, can you love me? you will not, i am certain, keep me in suspense, for you are too good and kind to trifle for a moment with sincerity like mine. awaiting your answer, i remain with respectful affection, ever yours, henry murray. mrs. julia freeman, philadelphia. _ .--from a lady to an inconstant lover._ dear harry: it is with great reluctance that i enter upon a subject which has given me great pain, and upon which silence has become impossible if i would preserve my self-respect. you cannot but be aware that i have just reason for saying that you have much displeased me. you have apparently forgotten what is due to me, circumstanced as we are, thus far at least. you cannot suppose that i can tamely see you disregard my feelings, by conduct toward other ladies from which i should naturally have the right to expect you to abstain. i am not so vulgar a person as to be jealous. when there is cause to infer changed feelings, or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy, jealousy is not the remedy. what the remedy is i need not say--we both of us have it in our hands. i am sure you will agree with me that we must come to some understanding by which the future shall be governed. neither you nor i can bear a divided allegiance. believe me that i write more in sorrow than in anger. you have made me very unhappy, and perhaps thoughtlessly. but it will take much to reassure me of your unaltered regard. yours truly, emma. * * * * * { } [illustration: modesty. act natural and speak well of all people.] * * * * * { } hints and helps on good behavior at all times and at all places. [illustration: the human face, like a flower, speaks for itself.] . it takes acquaintance to found a noble esteem, but politeness prepares the way. indeed, as montaigne says, courtesy begets esteem at sight. urbanity is half of affability, and affability is a charm worth possessing. . a pleasing demeanor is often the scales by which the pagan weighs the christian. it is not virtue, but virtue inspires it. there are circumstances in which it takes a great and strong soul to pass under the little yoke of courtesy, but it is a passport to a greater soul standard. . matthew arnold says, "conduct is three-fourths of character," and christian benignity draws the line for conduct. a high sense of rectitude, a lowly soul, with a pure and kind { } heart are elements of nobility which will work out in the life of a human being at home--everywhere. "private refinement makes public gentility." . if you would conciliate the favor of men, rule your resentment. remember that if you permit revenge or malice to occupy your soul, you are ruined. . cultivate a happy temper; banish the blues; a cheerful saguine spirit begets cheer and hope. . be trustworthy and be trustful. . do not place a light estimate upon the arts of good reading and good expression; they will yield perpetual interest. . study to keep versed in world events as well as in local occurrences, but abhor gossip, and above all scandal. . banish a self-conscience spirit--the source of much awkwardness--with a constant aim to make others happy. remember that it is incumbent upon gentlemen and ladies alike to be neat in habits. . the following is said to be a correct posture for walking. head erect--not too rigid--chin in, shoulders back. permit no unnecessary motion about the thighs. do not lean over to one side in walking, standing or sitting; the practice is not only ungraceful, but it is deforming and therefore unhealthful. . beware of affectation and of beau brummel airs. . if the hands are allowed to swing in walking, the arc should be limited, and the lady will manage them much more gracefully, if they almost touch the clothing. . a lady should not stand with her hands behind her. we could almost say, forget the hands except to keep them clean, including the nails, cordial and helpful. one hand may rest easily in the other. study repose of attitude here as well as in the rest of the body. . gestures are for emphasis in public speaking; do not point elsewhere, as a rule. . greet your acquaintances as you meet them with a slight bow and smile, as you speak. . look the person to whom you speak in the eye. never under any circumstances wink at another or communicate by furtive looks. . should you chance to be the rejected suitor of a lady, bear in mind your own self-respect, as well as the inexorable laws { } of society, and bow politely when you meet her. reflect that you do not stand before all woman-kind as you do at her bar. do not resent the bitterness of flirtation. no lady or gentleman will flirt. remember ever that painful prediscovery is better than later disappointment. let such experience spur you to higher exertion. . discretion should be exercised in introducing persons. of two gentlemen who are introduced, if one is superior in rank or age, he is the one to whom the introduction should be made. of two social equals, if one be a stranger in the place, his name should be mentioned first. . in general the simpler the introduction the better. . before introducing a gentleman to a lady, remember that she is entitled to hold you responsible for the acquaintance. the lady is the one to whom the gentleman is presented, which may be done thus: "miss a, permit me to introduce to you my friend, mr. b."; or, "miss a., allow me to introduce mr. b." if mutual and near friends of yours, say simply, "miss a., mr. b." . receive the introduction with a slight bow and the acknowledgment, "miss a., i am happy to make your acquaintance"; or, "mr. b., i am pleased to meet you." there is no reason why such stereotyped expressions should always be used, but something similar is expected. do not extend the hand usually. . a true lady will avoid familiarity in her deportment towards gentlemen. a young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to address her by her home name, and the reverse is true. use the title miss and mr. respectively. . ladies should be frank and cordial towards their lady friends, but never gushing. . should you meet a friend twice or oftener, at short intervals, it is polite to bow slightly each time after the first. . a lady on meeting a gentleman with whom she has slight acquaintance will make a medium bow--neither too decided nor too slight or stiff. . for a gentleman to take a young lady's arm, is to intimate that she is feeble, and young ladies resent the mode. . if a young lady desires to visit any public place where she expects to meet a gentleman acquaintance, she should have a chaperon to accompany her, a person of mature years when possible, and never a giddy girl. . a lady should not ask a gentleman to walk with her. * * * * * { } [illustration] a complete etiquette in a few practical rules. _ . if you desire to be respected, keep clean. the finest attire and decorations will add nothing to the appearance or beauty of an untidy person._ _ . clean clothing, clean skin, clean hands, including the nails, and clean, white teeth, are a requisite passport for good society._ _ . a bad breath should be carefully remedied, whether it proceeds from the stomach or from decayed teeth._ _ . to pick the nose, finger about the ears, or scratch the head or any other part of the person, in company, is decidedly vulgar._ _ . when you call at any private residence, do not neglect to clean your shoes thoroughly._ _ . a gentleman should always remove his hat in the presence of ladies, except out of doors, and then he should lift or touch his hat in salutation. on meeting a lady a well-bred gentleman will always lift his hat._ _ . an invitation to a lecture, concert, or other entertainment, may be either verbal or written, but should always be made at least twenty-four hours before the time._ { } _ . on entering a hall or church the gentleman should precede the lady in walking up the aisle, or walk by her side, if the aisle is broad enough._ _ . a gentleman should always precede a lady upstairs, and follow her downstairs._ _ . visitors should always observe the customs of the church with reference to standing, sitting, or kneeling during the services._ _ . on leaving a hall or church at the close of entertainment or services, the gentleman should precede the lady._ _ . a gentleman walking with a lady should carry the parcels, and never allow the lady to be burdened with anything of the kind._ _ . a gentleman meeting a lady on the street and wishing to speak to her, should never detain her, but may turn around and walk in the same direction she is going, until the conversation is completed._ _ . if a lady is traveling with a gentleman, simply as a friend, she should place the amount of her expenses in his hands, or insist on paying the bills herself._ _ . never offer a lady costly gifts unless you are engaged to her, for it looks as if you were trying to purchase her goodwill; and when you make a present to a lady use no ceremony whatever._ [illustration: children should early be taught the lesson of propriety and good manners.] _ . never carry on a private conversation in company. if secrecy is necessary, withdraw from the company._ _ . never sit with your back to another without asking to be excused._ _ . it is as unbecoming for a gentleman to sit with legs crossed as it is for a lady._ _ . never thrum with your fingers, rub your hands, yawn, or sigh aloud in company._ _ . loud laughter, loud talking, or other boisterous manifestations should be checked in the society of others, especially on the street and in public places._ { } _ . when you are asked to sing or play in company, do so without being urged, or refuse in a way that shall be final; and when music is being rendered in company, show politeness to the musician by giving attention. it is very impolite to keep up a conversation. if you do not enjoy the music, keep silent._ _ . contentions, contradictions, etc., in society should be carefully avoided._ _ . pulling out your watch in company, unless asked the time of day, is a mark of the demi-bred. it looks as if you were tired of the company and the time dragged heavily._ _ . you should never decline to be introduced to any one or all of the guests present at a party to which you have been invited._ _ . a gentleman who escorts a lady to a party, or who has a lady placed under his care, is under particular obligations to attend to her wants and see that she has proper attention. he should introduce her to others, and endeavor to make the evening pleasant. he should escort her to the supper table and provide for her wants._ _ . to take small children or dogs with you on a visit of ceremony is altogether vulgar, though in visiting familiar friends, children are not objectionable._ * * * * * { } [illustration: an egyptian bride's wedding outfit.] { } etiquette of calls. [illustration] in the matter of making calls it is the correct thing: for the caller who arrived first to leave first. to return a first call within a week and in person. to call promptly and in person after a first invitation. for the mother or chaperon to invite a gentleman to call. to call within a week after any entertainment to which one has been invited. you should call upon an acquaintance who has recently returned from a prolonged absence. it is proper to make the first call upon people in a higher social position, if one is asked to do so. it is proper to call, after an engagement has been announced, or a marriage has taken place, in the family. for the older residents in the city or street to call upon the newcomers to their neighborhood is a long recognized custom. it is proper, after a removal from one part of the city to another, to send out cards with one's new address upon them. to ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place where one is living, or making a visit, and to adhere to those hours is a duty that must not be overlooked. a gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young ladies, and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family. { } [illustration: _improve your speech by reading._] * * * * * etiquette in your speech. don't say miss or mister without the person's name. don't say pants for trousers. don't say gents for gentlemen. don't say female for woman. don't say elegant to mean everything that pleases you. don't say genteel for well-bred. don't say ain't for isn't. don't say i done it for i did it. don't say he is older than me; say older than i. don't say she does not see any; say she does not see at all. don't say not as i know; say not that i know. don't say he calculates to get off; say he expects to get off. don't say he don't; say he doesn't. don't say she is some better; say she is somewhat better. don't say where are you stopping? say where are you staying? don't say you was; say you were. don't say i say, says i, but simply say i said. don't sign your letters yours etc., but yours truly. don't say lay for lie; lay expresses action; lie expresses rest. don't say them bonnets; say those bonnets. don't say party for person. don't say it looks beautifully, but say it looks beautiful. { } don't say feller, winder, to-morrer, for fellow, window, tomorrow. don't use slangy words; they are vulgar. don't use profane words; they are sinful and foolish. don't say it was her, when you mean it was she. don't say not at once for at once. don't say he gave me a recommend, but say he gave me a recommendation. don't say the two first for the first two. don't say he learnt me french; say he taught me french. don't say lit the fire; say lighted the fire. don't say the man which you saw; say the man whom you saw. don't say who done it; say who did it. don't say if i was rich i would buy a carriage; say if i were rich. don't say if i am not mistaken you are in the wrong; say if i mistake not. don't say who may you be; say who are you? don't say go lay down; say go lie down. don't say he is taller than me; say taller than i. don't say i shall call upon him; say i shall call on him. don't say i bought a new pair of shoes; say i bought a pair of new shoes. don't say i had rather not; say i would rather not. don't say two spoonsful; say two spoonfuls. * * * * * etiquette of dress and habits. don't let one day pass without a thorough cleansing of your person. don't sit down to your evening meal before a complete toilet if you have company. don't cleanse your nails, your nose or your ears in public. don't use hair dye, hair oil or pomades. don't wear evening dress in daytime. don't wear jewelry of a gaudy character; genuine jewelry modestly worn is not out of place. don't overdress yourself or walk affectedly. don't wear slippers or dressing-gown or smoking-jacket out of your own house. don't sink your hands in your trousers' pockets. don't whistle in public places, nor inside of houses either. don't use your fingers or fists to beat a tattoo upon floor, desk or window panes. don't examine other people's papers or letters scattered on their desk. { } don't bring a smell of spirits or tobacco into the presence of ladies. never use either in the presence of ladies. don't drink spirits; millions have tried it to their sorrow. * * * * * etiquette on the street. . your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified. ladies should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or laughter and all undue liveliness in public. . when walking on the street do not permit yourself to be absent-minded, as to fail to recognize a friend; do not go along reading a book or newspaper. . in walking with a lady on the street give her the inner side of the walk, unless the outside is the safer part; in which case she is entitled to it. . your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or safety requires it. at night the arm should always be offered; also in ascending the steps of a public building. . in crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle with one hand. to raise the dress with both hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep. . a gentleman meeting a lady acquaintance on the street should not presume to join her in her walk without first asking her permission. . if you have anything to say to a lady whom you may happen to meet in the street, however intimate you may be, do not stop her, but turn round and walk in company with her; you can take leave at the end of the street. . a lady should not venture out upon the street alone after dark. by so doing she compromises her dignity, and exposes herself to indignity at the hands of the rougher class. . never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark or soiled gloves, as you may soil hers. . a lady does not form acquaintances upon the street, or seek to attract the attention of the other sex or of persons of her own sex. her conduct is always modest and unassuming. neither does a lady demand services or favors from a gentleman. she accepts them graciously, always { } expressing her thanks. a gentleman will not stand on the street corners, or in hotel doorways, or store windows and gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass by. this is the exclusive business of loafers. . in walking with a lady who has your arm, should you have to cross the street, do not disengage your arm and go around upon the outside, unless the lady's comfort renders it necessary. in walking with a lady, where it is necessary for you to proceed singly, always go before her. * * * * * etiquette between sexes. . a lady should be a lady, and a gentleman a gentleman under any and all circumstances. . female indifference to man.--there is nothing that affects the nature and pleasure of man so much as a proper and friendly recognition from a lady, and as women are more or less dependent upon man's good-will, either for gain or pleasure, it surely stands to their interest to be reasonably pleasant and courteous in his presence or society. indifference is always a poor investment, whether in society or business. . gallantry and ladyism should be a prominent feature in the education of young people. politeness to ladies cultivates the intellect and refines the soul, and he who can be easy and entertaining in the society of ladies has mastered one of the greatest accomplishments. there is nothing taught in school, academy or college, that contributes so much to the happiness of man as a full development of his social and moral qualities. . ladylike etiquette.--no woman can afford to treat men rudely. a lady must have a high intellectual and moral ideal and hold herself above reproach. she must remember that the art of pleasing and entertaining gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces, ribbons or diamonds. dress and glitter may please man, but it will never benefit him. . cultivate deficiencies.--men and women poorly sexed treat each other with more or less indifference, whereas a hearty sexuality inspires both to a right estimation of the faculties and qualities of each other. those who are deficient should seek society and overcome their deficiencies. while some naturally inherit faculties as entertainers, others are compelled to acquire them by cultivation. { } [illustration: asking an honest question.] . ladies' society.--he who seeks ladies' society should seek an education and should have a pure heart and a pure mind. read good, pure and wholesome literature and study human nature, and you will always be a favorite in the society circle. . woman haters.--some men with little refinement and strong sensual feelings virtually insult and thereby disgust and repel every female they meet. they look upon woman with an inherent vulgarity, and doubt the virtue and integrity of all alike. but it is because they are generally { } insincere and impure themselves, and with such a nature culture and refinement are out of the question, there must be a revolution. . men haters.--women who look upon all men as odious, corrupt or hateful, are no doubt so themselves, though they may be clad in silk and sparkle with diamonds and be as pretty as a lily; but their hypocrisy will out, and they can never win the heart of a faithful, conscientious and well balanced man. a good woman has broad ideas and great sympathy. she respects all men until they are proven unworthy. . fond of children.--the man who is naturally fond of children will make a good husband and a good father. so it behooves the young man, to notice children and cultivate the art of pleasing them. it will be a source of interest, education and permanent benefit to all. . excessive luxury.--although the association with ladies is an expensive luxury, yet it is not an expensive education. it elevates, refines, sanctifies and purifies, and improves the whole man. a young man who has a pure and genuine respect for ladies, will not only make a good husband, but a good citizen as well. . masculine attention.--no woman is entitled to any more attention than her loveliness and ladylike conduct will command. those who are most pleasing will receive the most attention, and those who desire more should aspire to acquire more by cultivating those graces and virtues which ennoble woman, but no lady should lower or distort her own true ideal, or smother and crucify her conscience, in order to please any living man. a good man will admire a good woman, and deceptions cannot long be concealed. her show of dry goods or glitter of jewels cannot long cover up her imperfections or deceptions. . purity.--purity of purpose will solve all social problems. let all stand on this exalted sexual platform, and teach every man just how to treat the female sex, and every woman how to behave towards the masculine; and it will incomparably adorn the manners of both, make both happy in each other, and mutually develop each other's sexuality and humanity. [illustration] { } practical rules on table manners. [illustration] . help ladies with a due appreciation; do not overload the plate of any person you serve. never pour gravy on a plate without permission. it spoils the meat for some persons. . never put anything by force upon any one's plate. it is extremely ill-bred, though extremely common, to press one to eat of anything. . if at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce or gravy, do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side of them. never load down a person's plate with anything. . as soon as you are helped, begin to eat, or at least begin to occupy yourself with what you have before you. do not wait till your neighbors are served--a custom that was long ago abandoned. . should you, however, find yourself at a table where they have the old-fashioned steel forks, eat with your knife, as the others do, and do not let it be seen that you have any objection to doing so. . bread should be broken. to butter a large piece of bread and then bite it, as children do, is something the knowing never do. { } . in eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers. to take a bone in the fingers for the purpose of picking it, is looked upon as being very inelegant. . never use your own knife or fork to help another. use rather the knife or fork of the person you help. . never send your knife or fork, or either of them, on your plate when you send for second supply. . never turn your elbows out when you use your knife and fork. keep them close to your sides. . whenever you use your fingers to convey anything to your mouth or to remove anything from the mouth, let it be the fingers of the left hand. . tea, coffee, chocolate and the like are drank from the cup and never from the saucer. . in masticating your food, keep your mouth shut; otherwise you will make a noise that will be very offensive to those around you. . don't attempt to talk with a full mouth. one thing at a time is as much as any man can do well. . should you find a worm or insect in your food, say nothing about it. . if a dish is distasteful to you, decline it, and without comment. . never put bones or bits of fruit on the table cloth. put them on the side of your plate. . do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish, simply because it is the last. to do so is to directly express the fear that you would exhaust the supply. . if you would be what you would like to be--abroad, take care that you _are_ what you would like to be--at home. . avoid picking your teeth at the table if possible; but if you must, do it, if you can, where you are not observed. . if an accident of any kind soever should occur during dinner, the cause being who or what it may, you should not seem to note it. . should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything, you should make no apology. you might let your regret appear in your face, but it would not be proper to put it in words. * * * * * { } social duties. man in society is like a flower, blown in its native bed. 'tis there alone his faculties expanded in full bloom shine out, there only reach their proper use.--cowper. the primal duties shine aloft like stars; the charities that soothe, and heal, and bless, are scatter'd at the feet of man like flowers.--wordsworth. * * * * * { } [illustration: giving a parlor recitation.] . membership in society.--many fail to get hold of the idea that they are members of society. they seem to suppose that the social machinery of the world is self-operating. they cast their first ballot with an emotion of pride, perhaps, but are sure to pay their first tax with a groan. they see political organizations in active existence; the parish, and the church, and other important bodies that embrace in some form of society all men, are successfully operated; and yet these young men have no part or lot in the matter. they do not think of giving a day's time to society. . begin early.--one of the first things a young man should do is to see that he is acting his part in society. the earlier this is begun the better. i think that the opponents of secret societies in colleges have failed to estimate the benefit which it must be to every member to be obliged to contribute to the support of his particular organization, and to assume personal care and responsibility as a member. if these societies have a tendency to teach the lessons of which i speak, they are a blessed thing. . do your part.--do your part, and be a man among men. assume your portion of social responsibility, and see that you discharge it well. if you do not do this, then you are mean, and society has the right to despise you just as much as it chooses to do so. you are, to use a word more emphatic than agreeable, a sneak, and have not a claim upon your neighbors for a single polite word. . a whining complainer.--society, as it is called, is far more apt to pay its dues to the individual than the individual to society. have you, young man, who are at home whining over the fact that you cannot get into society, done anything to give you a claim to social recognition? are you able to make any return for social recognition and social privileges? do you know anything? what kind of coin do you propose to pay in the discharge of the obligation which comes upon you with social recognition? in other words, as a return for what you wish to have society do for you, what can you do for society? this is a very important question--more important to you than to society. the question is, whether you will be a member of society by right, or by courtesy. if you have so mean a spirit as to be content to be a beneficiary of society--to receive favors and to confer none--you have no business in the society to which you aspire. you are an exacting, conceited fellow. . what are you good for?--are you a good beau, and are you willing to make yourself useful in waiting on the { } ladies on all occasions? have you a good set of teeth, which you are willing to show whenever the wit of the company gets off a good thing? are you a true, straightforward, manly fellow, with whose healthful and uncorrupted nature it is good for society to come in contact? in short, do you possess anything of any social value? if you do, and are willing to impart it, society will yield itself to your touch. if you have nothing, then society, as such, owes you nothing. christian philanthropy may put its arm around you, as a lonely young man, about to spoil for want of something, but it is very sad and humiliating for a young man to be brought to that. there are people who devote themselves to nursing young men, and doing them good. if they invite you to tea, go by all means, and try your hand. if, in the course of the evening, you can prove to them that your society is desirable, you have won a point. don't be patronized. . the morbid condition.--young men, you are apt to get into a morbid state of mind, which declines them to social intercourse. they become devoted to business with such exclusiveness, that all social intercourse is irksome. they go out to tea as if they were going to jail, and drag themselves to a party as to an execution. this disposition is thoroughly morbid, and to be overcome by going where you are invited, always, and with a sacrifice of feeling. . the common blunder.--don't shrink from contact with anything but bad morals. men who affect your unhealthy minds with antipathy, will prove themselves very frequently to be your best friends and most delightful companions. because a man seems uncongenial to you, who are squeamish and foolish, you have no right to shun him. we become charitable by knowing men. we learn to love those whom we have despised by rubbing against them. do you not remember some instance of meeting a man or woman whom you had never previously known or cared to know--an individual, perhaps, against whom you have entertained the strongest prejudices--but to whom you became bound by a lifelong friendship through the influence of a three days' intercourse? yet, if you had not thus met, you would have carried through life the idea that it would be impossible for you to give your fellowship to such an individual. . the foolishness of man.--god has introduced into human character infinite variety, and for you to say that you do not love and will not associate with a man because he is unlike you, is not only foolish but wrong. you are to remember that in the precise manner and decree in which { } a man differs from you, do you differ from him; and that from his standpoint you are naturally as repulsive to him, as he, from your standpoint, is to you. so, leave all this talk of congeniality to silly girls and transcendental dreamers. [illustration: gathering oranges in the sunny south.] . do business in your way and be honest.--do your business in your own way, and concede to every man the privilege which you claim for yourself. the more you mix with men, the less you will be disposed to quarrel, and the more charitable and liberal will you become. the fact that you do not understand a man, is quite as likely to be your fault as his. there are a good many chances in favor of the conclusion that, if you fail to like an individual whose acquaintance you make it is through your own ignorance and illiberality. so i say, meet every man honestly; seek to know him; and you will find that in those points in which he differs from you rests his power to instruct you, enlarge you, and do you good. keep your heart open for everybody, and be sure that you shall have your reward. you shall find a jewel under the most uncouth exterior; and associated with homeliest manners and oddest ways and ugliest faces, you will find rare virtues, fragrant little humanities, and inspiring heroisms. . without society, without influence.--again: you can have no influence unless you are social. an unsocial man is as devoid of influence as an ice-peak is of verdure. it is through social contact and absolute social value alone that you can accomplish any great social good. it is through the invisible lines which you are able to attach to the minds with which you are brought into association alone that you can tow society, with its deeply freighted interests, to the great haven of your hope. . the revenge of society.--the revenge which society takes upon the man who isolates himself, is as terrible as it is inevitable. the pride which sits alone will have the privilege of sitting alone in its sublime disgust till it drops into the grave. the world sweeps by the man, carelessly, remorselessly, contemptuously. he has no hold upon society, because he is no part of it. . the conclusion of the whole matter.--you cannot move men until you are one of them. they will not follow you until they have heard your voice, shaken your hand, and fully learned your principles and your sympathies. it makes no difference how much you know, or how much you are capable of doing. you may pile accomplishment upon acquisition mountain high; but if you fail to be a social man, demonstrating to society that your lot is with the rest, a { } little child with a song in its mouth, and a kiss for all and a pair of innocent hands to lay upon the knees, shall lead more hearts and change the direction of more lives than you. * * * * * { } politeness. . beautiful behavior.--politeness has been described as the art of showing, by external signs, the internal regard we have for others. but one may be perfectly polite to another without necessarily paying a special regard for him. good manners are neither more nor less than beautiful behavior. it has been well said that "a beautiful form is better than a beautiful face, and a beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures--it is the finest of the fine arts." . true politeness.--the truest politeness comes of sincerity. it must be the outcome of the heart, or it will make no lasting impression; for no amount of polish can dispense with truthfulness. the natural character must be allowed to appear, freed of its angularities and asperities. though politeness, in its best form, should resemble water--"best when clearest, most simple, and without taste"--yet genius in a man will always cover many defects of manner, and much will be excused to the strong and the original. without genuineness and individuality, human life would lose much of its interest and variety, as well as its manliness and robustness of character. . personality of others.--true politeness especially exhibits itself in regard for the personality of others. a man will respect the individuality of another if he wishes to be respected himself. he will have due regard for his views and opinions, even though they differ from his own. the well-mannered man pays a compliment to another, and sometimes even secures his respect by patiently listening to him. he is simply tolerant and forbearant, and refrains from judging harshly; and harsh judgments of others will almost invariably provoke harsh judgments of ourselves. . the impolite.--the impolite, impulsive man will, however, sometimes rather lose his friend than his joke. he may surely be pronounced a very foolish person who secures another's hatred at the price of a moment's gratification. it was a saying of burnel, the engineer--himself one of the kindest-natured of men--that "spite and ill-nature are among the most expensive luxuries in life." dr. johnson once said: "sir, a man has no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down." . feelings of others.--want of respect for the feelings of others usually originates in selfishness, and issues in { } hardness and repulsiveness of manner. it may not proceed from malignity so much, as from want of sympathy, and want of delicacy--a want of that perception of, and attention to, those little and apparently trifling things, by which pleasure is given or pain occasioned to others. indeed, it may be said that in self-sacrifice in the ordinary intercourse of life, mainly consists the difference between being well and ill bred. without some degree of self-restraint in society a man may be found almost insufferable. no one has pleasure in holding intercourse with such a person, and he is a constant source of annoyance to those about him. . disregard of others.--men may show their disregard to others in various impolite ways, as, for instance, by neglect of propriety in dress, by the absence of cleanliness, or by indulging in repulsive habits. the slovenly, dirty person, by rendering himself physically disagreeable, sets the tastes and feelings of others at defiance, and is rude and uncivil, only under another form. . the best school of politeness.--the first and best school of politeness, as of character, is always the home, where woman is the teacher. the manners of society at large are but the reflex of the manners of our collective homes, neither better nor worse. yet, with all the disadvantages of ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture of manner as of intellect, and learn by good examples to cultivate a graceful and agreeable behavior towards others. most men are like so many gems in the rough, which need polishing by contact with other and better natures, to bring out their full beauty and lustre. some have but one side polished, sufficient only to show the delicate graining of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities of the gem, needs the discipline of experience, and contact with the best examples of character in the intercourse of daily life. . captiousness of manner.--while captiousness of manner, and the habit of disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and repulsive, the opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing with, every statement made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally disagreeable. it is unmanly, and is felt to be dishonest. "it may seem difficult," says richard sharp, "to steer always between bluntness and plain dealing, between merited praises and lavishing indiscriminate flattery; but it is very easy--good humor, kindheartedness, and perfect simplicity, being all that are requisite to do what is right in the right way." at the same time many are impolite, not because they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and perhaps know no better. { } . shy people.--again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved, and proud, when they are only shy. shyness is characteristic of most people of the teutonic race. from all that can be learned of shakespeare, it is to be inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man. the manner in which his plays were sent into the world--for it is not known that he edited or authorized the publication of a single one of them,--and the dates at which they respectively appeared, are mere matters of conjecture. . self-forgetfulness.--true politeness is best evinced by self-forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others. mr. garfield, our martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type. his friend, col. rockwell, says of him: "in the midst of his suffering he never forgets others. for instance, to-day he said to me, 'rockwell, there is a poor soldier's widow who came to me before this thing occurred, and i promised her, she should be provided for. i want you to see that the matter is attended to at once.' he is the most docile patient i ever saw." . its bright side.--we have thus far spoken of shyness as a defect. but there is another way of looking at it; for even shyness has its bright side, and contains an element of good. shy men and shy races are ungraceful and undemonstrative, because, as regards society at large, they are comparatively unsociable. they do not possess those elegancies of manner acquired by free intercourse, which distinguish the social races, because their tendency is to shun society rather than to seek it. they are shy in the presence of strangers, and shy even in their own families. they hide their affections under a robe of reserve, and when they do give way to their feelings, it is only in some very hidden inner chamber. and yet, the feelings are there, and not the less healthy and genuine, though they are not made the subject of exhibition to others. . worthy of cultivation.--while, therefore, grace of manner, politeness of behavior, elegance of demeanor, and all the arts that contribute to make life pleasant and beautiful, are worthy of cultivation, it must not be at the expense of the more solid and enduring qualities of honesty, sincerity, and truthfulness. the fountain of beauty must be in the heart more than in the eye, and if it does not tend to produce beautiful life and noble practice, it will prove of comparatively little avail. politeness of manner is not worth much, unless it is accompanied by polite actions. [illustration] { } influence of good character. "unless above himself he can erect himself, how poor a thing is man!"--daniel. "character is moral order seen through the medium of an individual nature--men of character are the conscience of the society to which they belong."--emerson. the purest treasure mortal times afford, is--spotless reputation; that away, men are but gilded loam, or painted clay. a jewel in a ten-times-barr'd-up chest is--a bold spirit in a loyal breast.--shakspeare. . reputation.--the two most precious things this side the grave are our reputation and our life. but it is to be lamented that the most contemptible whisper may deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon of the other. a wise man, therefore, will be more anxious to deserve a fair name than to possess it, and this will teach him so to live, as not to be afraid to die. . character.--character is one of the greatest motive powers in the world. in its noblest embodiments, it exemplifies human nature in its highest forms, for it exhibits man at his best. . the heart that rules in life.--although genius always commands admiration, character most secures respect. the former is more the product of brain power, the latter of heart power; and in the long run it is the heart that rules in life. men of genius stand to society in the relation of its intellect as men of character of its conscience: and while the former are admired, the latter are followed. . the highest ideal of life and character.--commonplace though it may appear, this doing of one's duty embodies the highest ideal of life and character. there may be nothing heroic about it; but the common lot of men is not heroic. and though the abiding sense of duty upholds man in his highest attitudes, it also equally sustains him in the transaction of the ordinary affairs of every-day existence. man's life is "centered in the sphere of common duties." the most influential of all the virtues are those which are the most in request for daily use. they wear the best, and last the longest. . wealth.--wealth in the hands of men of weak purpose, or deficient self-control, or of ill regulated passions, is { } only a temptation and a snare--the source, it may be, of infinite mischief to themselves, and often to others. on the contrary, a condition of comparative poverty is compatible with character in its highest form. a man may possess only his industry, his frugality, his integrity, and yet stand high in the rank of true manhood. the advice which burns' father gave him was the best: "he bade me act a manly part, though i had ne'er a farthing, for without an honest, manly heart no man was worth regarding." . character is property.--it is the noblest of possessions. it is an estate in the general good-will and respect of men; they who invest in it--though they may not become rich in this world's goods--will find their reward in esteem and reputation fairly and honorably won. and it is right that in life good qualities should tell--that industry, virtue, and goodness should rank the highest--and that the really best men should be foremost. . simple honesty of purpose.--this in a man goes a long way in life, if founded on a just estimate of himself and a steady obedience to the rule he knows and feels to be right. it holds a man straight, gives him strength and sustenance, and forms a mainspring of vigorous action. no man is bound to be rich or great--no, nor to be wise--but every man is bound to be honest and virtuous. [illustration] { } family government. [illustration: heavenly music.] . gentleness must characterize every act of authority.--the storm of excitement that may make the child start, bears no relation to actual obedience. the inner firmness, that sees and feels a moral conviction and expects obedience, is only disguised and defeated by bluster. the more calm and direct it is, the greater certainty it has of dominion. . for the government of small children.--for the government of small children speak only in the authority of love, yet authority, loving and to be obeyed. the most important lesson to impart is obedience to authority as authority. the question of salvation with most children will be settled as soon as they learn to obey parental authority. it establishes a habit and order of mind that is ready to accept divine authority. this precludes skepticism and disobedience, and induces that childlike trust and spirit set forth as a necessary state of salvation. children that are never made to obey are left to drift into the sea of passion where the pressure for surrender only tends to drive them at greater speed from the haven of safety. . habits of self-denial.--form in the child habits of self-denial. pampering never matures good character. . emphasize integrity.--keep the moral tissues tough in integrity; then it will hold a hook of obligations when once set in a sure place. there is nothing more vital. shape all your experiments to preserve the integrity. do not so reward it that it becomes mercenary. turning state's evidence is a dangerous experiment in morals. prevent deceit from succeeding. . guard modesty.--to be brazen is to imperil some of the best elements of character. modesty may be strengthened into a becoming confidence, but brazen facedness can seldom be toned down into decency. it requires the miracle of grace. . protect purity.--teach your children to loathe impurity. study the character of their playmates. watch their books. keep them from corruption at all cost. the groups of youth in the school and in society, and in business places, seed with improprieties of word and thought. never relax your vigilance along this exposed border. [illustration: both puzzled.] . threaten the least possible.--in family government threaten the least possible. some parents rattle off their commands with penalties so profusely that there is a steady { } roar of hostilities about the child's head. these threats are forgotten by the parent and unheeded by the child. all government is at an end. . do not enforce too many commands.--leave a few things within the range of the child's knowledge that are not forbidden. keep your word good, but do not have too much of it out to be redeemed. . punish as little as possible.--sometimes punishment is necessary, but the less it is resorted to the better. . never punish in a passion.--wrath only becomes cruelty. there is no moral power in it. when you seem to be angry you can do no good. . brutish violence only multiplies offenders.--striking and beating the body seldom reaches the soul. fear and hatred beget rebellion. . punish privately.--avoid punishments that break down self-respect. striking the body produces shame and indignation. it is enough for the other children to know that discipline is being administered. . never stop short of success.--when the child is not conquered the punishment has been worse than wasted. reach the point where neither wrath nor sullenness remain. by firm persistency and persuasion require an open look of recognition and peace. it is only evil to stir up the devil unless he is cast out. ordinarily one complete victory will last a child for a lifetime. but if the child relapses, repeat the dose with proper accompaniments. . do not require children to complain of themselves for pardon.--it begets either sycophants or liars. it is the part of the government to detect offences. it reverses the order of matters to shirk this duty. . grade authority up to liberty.--the growing child must have experiments of freedom. lead him gently into the family. counsel with him. let him plan as he can. by and by he has the confidence of courage without the danger of exposures. . respect.--parents must respect each other. undermining either undermines both. always govern in the spirit of love. [illustration] { } conversation. [illustration] some men are very entertaining for a first interview, but after that they are exhausted, and run out; on a second meeting we shall find them very flat and monotonous; like hand-organs, we have heard all their tunes.--coulton. he who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of some of the best requisites of man.--lavater. beauty is never so lovely as when adorned with the smile, and conversation never sits easier upon us than when we know and then discharge ourselves in a symphony of laughter, which may not improperly be called the chorus of conversation.--steele. the first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit.--sir william temple. { } home lessons in conversation. say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided. avoid satire and sarcasm. never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition. cultivate the supreme wisdom, which consists less in saying what ought to be said than in not saying what ought not to be said. often cultivate "flashes of silence." it is the larger half of the conversation to listen well. listen to others patiently, especially the poor. sharp sayings are an evidence of low breeding. shun faultfindings and faultfinders. never utter an uncomplimentary word against anyone. compliments delicately hinted and sincerely intended are a grace in conversation. commendation of gifts and cleverness properly put are in good taste, but praise of beauty is offensive. repeating kind expressions is proper. compliments given in a joke may be gratefully received in earnest. the manner and tone are important parts of a compliment. avoid egotism. don't talk of yourself, or of your friends or your deeds. give no sign that you appreciate your own merits. do not become a distributer of the small talk of a community. the smiles of your auditors do not mean respect. avoid giving the impression of one filled with "suppressed egotism." never mention your own peculiarities; for culture destroys vanity. avoid exaggeration. do not be too positive. do not talk of display oratory. do not try to lead in conversation, looking around to enforce silence. lay aside affected silly etiquette for the natural dictates of the heart. direct the conversation where others can join with you and impart to you useful information. avoid oddity. eccentricity is shallow vanity. be modest. be what you wish to seem. avoid repeating a brilliant or clever saying. { } [illustration: thinking only of dress.] if you find bashfulness or embarrassment coming upon you, do or say something at once. the commonest matter gently stated is better than an embarrassing silence. sometimes changing your position, or looking into a book for a moment may relieve your embarrassment, and dispel any settling stiffness. avoid telling many stories, or repeating a story more than once in the same company. never treat any one as if you simply wanted him to tell stories. people laugh and despise such a one. never tell a coarse story. no wit or preface can make it excusable. tell a story, if at all, only as an illustration, and not for itself. tell it accurately. be careful in asking questions for the purpose of starting conversation or drawing out a person, not to be rude or intrusive. never take liberties by staring, or by any rudeness. never infringe upon any established regulations among strangers. do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right. the right will appear. you need only give it a chance. avoid argument in conversation. it is discourteous to your host. cultivate paradoxes in conversation with your peers. they add interest to common-place matters. to strike the harmless faith of ordinary people in any public idol is waste, but such a movement with those able to reply is better. never discourse upon your ailments. never use words of the meaning or pronunciation of which you are uncertain. avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns. never prompt a slow speaker, as if you had all the ability. in conversing with a foreigner who may be learning our language, it is excusable to help him in some delicate way. never give advice unasked. do not manifest impatience. do not interrupt another when speaking. do not find fault, though you may gently criticise. do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others. do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather. do not, when narrating an incident, continually say, "you see," "you know." { } do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly. do not introduce professional or other topics that the company generally cannot take an interest in. do not talk very loud. a firm, clear, distinct, yet mild, gentle, and musical voice has great power. do not be absent-minded, requiring the speaker to repeat what has been said that you may understand. do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others. do not use profanity, vulgar terms, words of double meaning, or language that will bring the blush to anyone. do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be avoided. the day may come when some friend will be needed to defend you in your absence. do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be visiting. find something to truthfully praise and commend; thus make yourself agreeable. do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are a descendant of any notable family. you must pass for just what you are, and must stand on your own merit. do not contradict. in making a correction say, "i beg your pardon, but i had the impression that it was so and so." be careful in contradicting, as you may be wrong yourself. do not be unduly familiar; you will merit contempt if you are. neither should you be dogmatic in your assertions, arrogating to yourself such consequences in your opinions. do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own family when speaking to strangers; the person to whom you are speaking may know some faults that you do not. do not feel it incumbent upon yourself to carry your point in conversation. should the person with whom you are conversing feel the same, your talk may lead into violent argument. do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are, what things cost, whether melissa ever had a beau, and why amarette never got married? all such questions are extremely impertinent and are likely to meet with rebuke. do not whisper in company; do not engage in private conversation; do not speak a foreign language which the general company present may not understand, unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to speak your own language. * * * * * { } the toilet or the care of the person. * * * * * important rules. [illustration: widower jones and widow smith.] . good appearance.--the first care of all persons should be for their personal appearance. those who are slovenly or careless in their habits are unfit for refined society, and cannot possibly make a good appearance in it. a well-bred person will always cultivate habits of the most scrupulous neatness. a gentleman or lady is always well dressed. the garment may be plain or of coarse material, or even worn "thin and shiny," but if it is carefully brushed and neat it can be worn with dignity. { } . personal cleanliness.--personal appearance depends greatly on the careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress. the first point which marks the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness. this remark supplies to the body and everything which covers it. a clean skin--only to be secured by frequent baths--is indispensable. . the teeth.--the teeth should receive the utmost attention. many a young man has been disgusted with a lady by seeing her unclean and discolored teeth. it takes but a few moments, and if necessary secure some simple tooth powder or rub the teeth thoroughly every day with a linen handkerchief, and it will give the teeth and mouth a beautiful and clean appearance. . the hair and beard.--the hair should be thoroughly brushed and well kept, and the beard of men properly trimmed. men should not let their hair grow long and shaggy. . underclothing.--the matter of cleanliness extends to all articles of clothing, underwear as well as the outer clothing. cleanliness is a mark of true utility. the clothes need not necessarily be of a rich and expensive quality, but they can all be kept clean. some persons have an odor about them that is very offensive, simply on account of their underclothing being worn too long without washing. this odor of course cannot be detected by the person who wears the soiled garments, but other persons easily detect it and are offended by it. . the bath.--no person should think for a moment that they can be popular in society without regular bathing. a bath should be taken at least once a week, and if the feet perspire they should be washed several times a week, as the case may require. it is not unfrequent that young men are seen with dirty ears and neck. this is unpardonable and boorish, and shows gross neglect. occasionally a young lady will be called upon unexpectedly when her neck and smiling face are not emblems of cleanliness. every lady owes it to herself to be fascinating; every gentleman is bound, for his own sake, to be presentable; but beyond this there is the obligation to society, to one's friends, and to those with whom we may be brought in contact. . soiled garments.--a young man's garments may not be expensive, yet there is no excuse for wearing a soiled collar and a soiled shirt, or carrying a soiled handkerchief. no one should appear as though he had slept in a stable, shaggy hair, soiled clothing or garments indifferently put on and carelessly buttoned. a young man's vest should always be kept buttoned in the presence of ladies. { } . the breath.--care should be taken to remedy an offensive breath without delay. nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance, or is such a source of misery to one's self. the evil may be from some derangement of the stomach or some defective condition of the teeth, or catarrhal affection of the throat and nose. see remedies in other portions of the book. * * * * * a young man's personal appearance. dress changes the manners.--voltaire. whose garments wither, shall receive faded smiles.--sheridan knowles. men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither conspicuous for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it.--anonymous. . a well-dressed man does not require so much an extensive as a varied wardrobe. he does not need a different suit for every season and every occasion, but if he is careful to select clothes that are simple and not striking or conspicuous, he may use the garment over and over again without their being noticed, provided they are suitable to the season and the occasion. . a clean shirt, collar and cuffs always make a young man look neat and tidy, even if his clothes are not of the latest pattern and are somewhat threadbare. . propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like a youth of sixteen. it is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a noticeable extent. avoid affecting singularity in dress. expensive clothes are no sign of a gentleman. [illustration: the dude of the th century.] . when dressed for company, strive to appear easy and natural. nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person, or more ridiculous to one gifted with refinement, than to see a lady laboring under the consciousness of a fine gown; or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward and ungainly in a brand-new coat. . avoid what is called the "ruffianly style of dress" or the slouchy appearance of a half-unbottoned vest, and suspenderless pantaloons. that sort of affectation is, if possible, even more disgusting than the painfully elaborate frippery of the dandy or dude. keep your clothes well brushed and keep them cleaned. slight spots can be removed with a little sponge and soap and water. . a gentleman should never wear a high hat unless he has on a frock coat or a dress suit. . a man's jewelry should be good and simple. brass or false jewelry, like other forms of falsehood, is vulgar. wearing many cheap decorations is a serious fault. { } . if a man wears a ring it should be on the third finger of the left hand. this is the only piece of jewelry a man is allowed to wear that does not serve a purpose. . wearing imitations of diamonds is always in very bad taste. . every man looks better in a full beard it he keeps it well trimmed. if a man shaves he should shave at least every other day, unless he is in the country. . the finger-nails should be kept cut, and the teeth should be cleaned every morning, and kept clear from tartar. a man who does not keep his teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows them. * * * * * { } dress. we sacrifice to dress, till household joys and comforts cease. dress drains our cellar dry, and keeps our larder lean. puts out our fires, and introduces hunger, frost and woe, where peace and hospitality might reign.--cowper. * * * * * [illustration] . god is a lover of dress.--we cannot but feel that god is a lover of dress. he has put on robes of beauty and glory upon all his works. every flower is dressed in richness; every field blushes beneath a mantle of beauty; every star is veiled in brightness; every bird is clothed in the { } habiliments of the most exquisite taste. the cattle upon the thousand hills are dressed by the hand divine. who, studying god in his works, can doubt, that he will smile upon the evidence of correct taste manifested by his children in clothing the forms he has made them? . love of dress.--to love dress is not to be a slave of fashion; to love dress only is the test of such homage. to transact the business of charity in a silken dress, and to go in a carriage to the work, injures neither the work nor the worker. the slave of fashion is one who assumes the livery of a princess, and then omits the errand of the good human soul; dresses in elegance, and goes upon no good errand, and thinks and does nothing of value to mankind. . beauty in dress.--beauty in dress is a good thing, rail at it who may. but it is a lower beauty, for which a higher beauty should not be sacrificed. they love dresses too much who give it their first thought, their best time, or all their money; who for it neglect the culture of their mind or heart, or the claims of others on their service; who care more for their dress than their disposition; who are troubled more by an unfashionable bonnet than a neglected duty. . simplicity of dress.--female lovliness never appears to so good advantage as when set off by simplicity of dress. no artist ever decks his angels with towering feathers and gaudy jewelry; and our dear human angels--if they would make good their title to that name--should carefully avoid ornaments, which properly belong to indian squaws and african princesses. these tinselries may serve to give effect on the stage, or upon the ball room floor, but in daily life there is no substitute for the charm of simplicity. a vulgar taste is not to be disguised by gold or diamonds. the absence of a true taste and refinement of delicacy cannot be compensated for by the possession of the most princely fortune. mind measures gold, but gold cannot measure mind. through dress the mind may be read, as through the delicate tissue the lettered page. a modest woman will dress modestly; a really refined and intelligent woman will bear the marks of careful selection and faultless taste. . people of sense.--a coat that has the mark of use upon it, is a recommendation to the people of sense, and a hat with too much nap, and too high lustre, a derogatory circumstance. the best coats in our streets are worn on the backs of penniless fops, broken down merchants, clerks with pitiful salaries, and men that do not pay up. the heaviest gold chains dangle from the fobs of gamblers and gentlemen of very limited means; costly ornaments on { } ladies, indicate to the eyes that are well opened, the fact of a silly lover or husband cramped for funds. . plain and neat.--when a pretty woman goes by in plain and neat apparel, it is the presumption that she has fair expectations, and a husband that can show a balance in his favor. for women are like books,--too much gilding makes men suspicious, that the binding is the most important part. the body is the shell of the soul, and the dress is the husk of the body; but the husk generally tells what the kernel is. as a fashionably dressed young lady passed some gentlemen, one of them raised his hat, whereupon another, struck by the fine appearance of the lady, made some inquiries concerning her, and was answered thus: "she makes a pretty ornament in her father's house, but otherwise is of no use." . the richest dress.--the richest dress is always worn on the soul. the adornments that will not perish, and that all men most admire, shine from the heart through this life. god has made it our highest, holiest duty, to dress the soul he has given us. it is wicked to waste it in frivolity. it is a beautiful, undying, precious thing. if every young woman would think of her soul when she looks in the glass, would hear the cry of her naked mind when she dallies away her precious hours at her toilet, would listen to the sad moaning of her hollow heart, as it wails through her idle, useless life, something would be done for the elevation of womanhood. . dressing up.--compare a well-dressed body with a well-dressed mind. compare a taste for dress with a taste for knowledge, culture, virtue, and piety. dress up an ignorant young woman in the "height of fashion"; put on plumes and flowers, diamonds and gewgaws; paint her face, girt up her waist, and i ask you, if this side of a painted and feathered savage you can find anything more unpleasant to behold. and yet such young women we meet by the hundred every day on the street and in all our public places. it is awful to think of. . dress affects our manners.--a man who is badly dressed, feels chilly, sweaty, and prickly. he stammers, and does not always tell the truth. he means to, perhaps, but he can't. he is half distracted about his pantaloons, which are much to short, and are constantly hitching up; or his frayed jacket and crumpled linen harrow his soul, and quite unman him. he treads on the train of a lady's dress, and says, "thank you", sits down on his hat, and wishes the "desert were his dwelling place." * * * * * { } beauty. "she walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies: and all that's best of dark and bright meet her in aspect and in her eyes; thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies."--byron. [illustration] . the highest style of beauty.--the highest style of beauty to be found in nature pertains to the human form, as animated and lighted up by the intelligence within. it is the expression of the soul that constitutes this superior beauty. it is that which looks out of the eye, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, smiles on the cheek, is set forth in the chiselled lines and features of the countenance, in the general contour of figure and form, in the movement, and gesture, and tone; it is this looking out of the invisible spirit that dwells within, this manifestation of the higher nature, that we admire and love; this constitutes to us the beauty of our species. { } . beauty which perishes not.--there is a beauty which perishes not. it is such as the angels wear. it forms the washed white robes of the saints. it wreathes the countenance of every doer of good. it adorns every honest face. it shines in the virtuous life. it molds the hands of charity. it sweetens the voice of sympathy. it sparkles on the brow of wisdom. it flashes in the eye of love. it breathes in the spirit of piety. it is the beauty of the heaven of heavens. it is that which may grow by the hand of culture in every human soul. it is the flower of the spirit which blossoms on the tree of life. every soul may plant and nurture it in its own garden, in its own eden. . we may all be beautiful.--this is the capacity of beauty that god has given to the human soul, and this the beauty placed within the reach of all. we may all be beautiful. though our forms may be uncomely and our features not the prettiest, our spirits may be beautiful. and this inward beauty always shines through. a beautiful heart will flash out in the eye. a lovely soul will glow in the face. a sweet spirit will tune the voice, wreathe the countenance in charms. oh, there is a power in interior beauty that melts the hardest heart! . woman the most perfect type of beauty.--woman, by common consent, we regard as the most perfect type of beauty on earth. to her we ascribe the highest charms belonging to this wonderful element so profusely mingled in all god's works. her form is molded and finished in exquisite delicacy of perfection. the earth gives us no form more perfect, no features more symmetrical, no style more chaste, no movements more graceful, no finish more complete; so that our artists ever have and ever will regard the woman-form of humanity as the most perfect earthly type of beauty. this form is most perfect and symmetrical in the youth of womanhood; so that the youthful woman is earth's queen of beauty. this is true, not only by the common consent of mankind, but also by the strictest rules of scientific criticism. [illustration: a rejected lover.] . fadeless beauty.--there cannot be a picture without its bright spots; and the steady contemplation of what is bright in others, has a reflex influence upon the beholder. it reproduces what it reflects. nay, it seems to leave an impress even upon the countenance. the feature, from having a dark, sinister aspect, becomes open, serene, and sunny. a countenance so impressed, has neither the vacant stare of the idiot, nor the crafty, penetrating look of the basilisk, but the clear, placid aspect of truth and goodness. the woman { } who has such a face is beautiful. she has a beauty which changes not with the features, which fades not with years. it is beauty of expression. it is the only kind of beauty which can be relied upon for a permanent influence with the other sex. the violet will soon cease to smile. flowers must fade. the love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers away. . a pretty woman pleases the eye, a good woman, the heart. the one is a jewel, the other a treasure. invincible fidelity, good humor, and complacency of temper, outlive all the charms of a fine face, and make the decay of it invisible. that is true beauty which has not only a substance, but a spirit; a beauty that we must intimately know to justly appreciate. . the woman you love best.--beauty, dear reader, is probably the woman you love best, but we trust it is the beauty of soul and character, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, and will outlive what is called a fine face. . the wearing of ornaments.--beauty needs not the foreign aid of ornament, but is when unadorned adorned the most, is a trite observation; but with a little qualification it is worthy of general acceptance. aside from the dress itself, ornaments should be very sparingly used--at any rate, the danger lies in over-loading oneself, and not in using too few. a young girl, and especially one of a light and airy style of beauty, should never wear gems. a simple flower in her hair or on her bosom is all that good taste will permit. when jewels or other ornaments are worn, they should be placed where you desire the eye of the spectator to rest, leaving the parts to which you do not want attention called as plain and negative as possible. there is no surer sign of vulgarity than a profusion of heavy jewelry carried about upon the person. [illustration] { } sensible helps to beauty. [illustration] . for scrawny neck.--take off your tight collars, feather boas and such heating things. wash neck and chest with hot water, then rub in sweet oil all that you can work in. apply this every night before you retire and leave the skin damp with it while you sleep. . for red hands.--keep your feet warm by soaking them often in hot water, and keep your hands out of the water as much as possible. rub your hands with the skin of a lemon and it will whiten them. if your skin will bear glycerine after you have washed, pour into the palm a little glycerine and lemon juice mixed, and rub over the hands and wipe off. . neck and face.--do not bathe the neck and face just before or after being out of doors. it tends to wrinkle the skin. . scowls.--never allow yourself to scowl, even if the sun be in your eyes. that scowl will soon leave its trace and no beauty will outlive it. { } . wrinkled forehead.--if you wrinkle your forehead when you talk or read, visit an oculist and have your eyes tested, and then wear glasses to fit them. . old looks.--sometimes your face looks old because it is tired. then apply the following wash and it will make you look younger: put three drops of ammonia, a little borax, a tablespoonful of bay rum, and a few drops of camphor into warm water and apply to your face. avoid getting it into your eyes. . the best cosmetic.--squeeze the juice of a lemon into a pint of sweet milk. wash the face with it every night and in the morning wash off with warm rain water. this will produce a very beautiful effect upon the skin. . spots on the face.--moles and many other discolorations may be removed from the face by a preparation composed of one part chemically pure carbolic acid and two parts pure glycerine. touch the spots with a camel's-hair pencil, being careful that the preparation does not come in contact with the adjacent skin. five minutes after touching, bathe with soft water and apply a little vaseline. it may be necessary to repeat the operation, but if persisted in, the blemishes will be entirely removed. . wrinkles.--this prescription is said to cure wrinkles: take one ounce of white wax and melt it to a gentle heat. add two ounces of the juice of lily bulbs, two ounces of honey, two drams of rose water, and a drop or two of ottar of roses. apply twice a day, rubbing the wrinkles the wrong way. always use tepid water for washing the face. . the hair.--the hair must be kept free from dust or it will fall out. one of the best things for cleaning it, is a raw egg rubbed into the roots and then washed out in several waters. the egg furnishes material for the hair to grow on, while keeping the scalp perfectly clean. apply once a month. . loss of hair.--when through sickness or headache the hair falls out, the following tonic may be applied with good effect: use one ounce of glycerine, one ounce of bay rum, one pint of strong sage tea, and apply every other night, rubbing well into the scalp. * * * * * { } how to keep the bloom and grace of youth. the secret of its preservation. [illustration: mrs. wm. mckinley.] . the question most often asked by women is regarding the art of retaining, with advancing years, the bloom and grace of youth. this secret is not learned through the analysis of chemical compounds, but by a thorough study of nature's laws peculiar to their sex. it is useless for women with wrinkled faces, dimmed eyes and blemished skins to seek for external applications of beautifying balms and lotions to bring the glow of life and health into the face, and yet there are truths, simple yet wonderful, whereby the bloom of early life can be restored and retained, as should be the heritage of all god's children, sending the light of beauty into every woman's face. the secret: . do not bathe in hard water; soften it with a few drops of ammonia, or a little borax. . do not bathe the face while it is very warm, and never use very cold water. . do not attempt to remove dust with cold water; give your face a hot bath, using plenty of good soap, then give it a thorough rinsing with warm water. . do not rub your face with a coarse towel. . do not believe you can remove wrinkles by filling in the crevices with powder. give your face a russian bath every night; that is, bathe it with water so hot that you wonder how you can bear it, and then, a minute after, with moderately cold water, that will make your face glow with warmth; dry it with a soft towel. * * * * * { } form and deformity. [illustration: male. female. showing the difference in form and proportion.] . physical deformities.--masquerading is a modern accomplishment. girls wear tight shoes, burdensome skirts, corsets, etc., all of which prove so fatal to their health. at the age of seventeen or eighteen, our "young ladies" are sorry specimens of feminality; and palpitators, cosmetics and all the modern paraphernalia are required to make them appear fresh and blooming. man is equally at fault. a devotee to all the absurd devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress makes the man." but physical deformities are of far less importance than moral imperfections. . development of the individual.--it is not possible for human beings to attain their full stature of humanity, except by loving long and perfectly. behold that venerable man! he is mature in judgment, perfect in every action and expression, and saintly in goodness. you almost worship as you behold. what rendered him thus perfect? what { } rounded off his natural asperities, and moulded up his virtues? love, mainly. it permeated every pore, and seasoned every fibre of his being, as could nothing else. mark that matronly woman. in the bosom of her family she is more than a queen and goddess combined. all her looks and actions express the outflowing of some or all of the human virtues. to know her is to love her. she became thus perfect, not in a day or year, but by a long series of appropriate means. then by what? chiefly in and by love, which is specially adapted thus to develop this maturity. . physical stature.--men and women generally increase in stature until the twenty-fifth year, and it is safe to assume, that perfection of function is not established until maturity of bodily development is completed. the physical contour of these representations plainly exhibits the difference in structure, and also implies difference of function. solidity and strength are represented by the organization of the male, grace and beauty by that of the female. his broad shoulders represent physical power and the right of dominion, while her bosom is the symbol of love and nutrition. how to determine a perfect human figure. [illustration: lady's dress in the days of greece.] the proportions of the perfect human figure are strictly mathematical. the whole figure is six times the length of the foot. whether the form be slender or plump, this rule holds good. any deviation from it is a departure from the highest beauty of proportion. the greeks made all their statues according to this rule. the face, from the highest point of the forehead, where the hair begins, to the end of the chin, is one-tenth of the whole stature. the hand, from the wrist to the end of the middle finger, is the same. the chest is a fourth, and from the nipples to the top of the head is the same. from the top of the chest to the highest point of the forehead is a seventh. if the length of the face, from the roots of the hair to the chin, be divided into three equal parts, the first division determines the point where the eyebrows meet, and the second the place of the nostrils. the navel is the central point of the human body, and if a man should lie on his back with his arms and legs extended, the periphery of the circle which might be described around him, with the navel for its center, would touch the extremities of his hands and feet. the height from the feet to the top of the head is the same as the { } distance from the extremity of one hand to the extremity of the other when the arms are extended. the venus de medici is considered the most perfect model of the female forms, and has been the admiration of the world for ages. alexander walker, after minutely describing this celebrated statue, says: "all these admirable characteristics of the female form, the mere existence of which in woman must, one is temped to imagine, be, even to herself, a source of ineffable pleasure, these constitute a being worthy, as the personification of beauty, of occupying the temples of greece; present an object finer, alas, than nature even seems capable of producing; and offer to all nations and ages a theme of admiration and delight." well might thomson say: so stands the statue that enchants the world, so, bending, tries to vail the matchless boast-- the mingled beauties of exulting greece. we beg our readers to observe the form of the waist (evidently innocent of corsets and tight dresses) of this model woman, and also that of the greek slave in the accompanying outlines. these forms are such as unperverted nature and the highest art alike require. to compress the waist, and thereby change its form, pushing the ribs inward, displacing the vital organs, and preventing the due expansion of the lungs, is as destructive to beauty as it is to health. { } the history, mystery, benefits and injuries of the corset. [illustration: the corset in the th century.] . the origin of the corset is lost in remote antiquity. the figures of the early egyptian women show clearly an artificial shape of the waist produced by some style of corset. a similar style of dress must also have prevailed among the ancient jewish maidens; for isaiah, in calling upon the women to put away their personal adornments, says: "instead of a girdle there shall be a rent, and instead of a stomacher (corset) a girdle of sackcloth." . homer also tells us of the cestus or girdle of venus, which was borrowed by the haughty juno with a view to increasing her personal attractions, that jupiter might be a more tractable and orderly husband. . coming down to the later times, we find the corset was used in france and england as early as the th century. . the most extensive and extreme use of the corset occurred in the th century, during the reign of catherine de medici of france and queen elizabeth of england. with catherine de medici a thirteen-inch waist measurement was considered the standard of fashion, while a thick waist was an abomination. no lady could consider her figure of proper shape unless she could span her waist with her two hands. to produce this result a strong rigid corset was worn night and day until the waist was laced down to the required size. then over this corset was placed the steel apparatus shown in the illustration on next page. this corset-cover reached from the hip to the throat, and { } produced a rigid figure over which the dress would fit with perfect smoothness. . during the th century corsets were largely made from a species of leather known as "bend," which was not unlike that used for shoe soles, and measured nearly a quarter of an inch in thickness. one of the most popular corsets of the time was the corset and stomacher shown in the accompanying illustration. [illustration: steel corset worn in catherine's time.] . about the time of the french revolution a reaction set in against tight lacing, and for a time there was a return to the early classical greek costume. this style of dress prevailed, with various modifications, until about , when corsets and tight lacing again returned with threefold fury. buchan, a prominent writer of this period, says that it was by no means uncommon to see "a mother lay her daughter down upon the carpet, and, placing her foot upon her back, break half a dozen laces in tightening her stays." . it is reserved to our own time to demonstrate that corsets and tight lacing do not necessarily go hand in hand. distortion and feebleness are not beauty. a proper proportion should exist between the size of the waist and the breadth of the shoulders and hips, and if the waist is diminished below this proportion, it suggests disproportion and invalidism rather than grace and beauty. . the perfect corset is one which possesses just that degree of rigidity which will prevent it from wrinkling, but will at the same time allow freedom in the bending and twisting of the body. corsets boned with whalebone, horn or steel are necessarily stiff, rigid and uncomfortable. after a few days' wear the bones or steels become bent and set in position, or, as more frequently happens, they break and cause injury or discomfort to the wearer. . about seven years ago an article was discovered for the stiffening of corsets, which has revolutionized the corset industry of the world. this article is manufactured from { } the natural fibers of the mexican ixtle plant, and is known as coraline. it consists of straight, stiff fibers like bristles bound together into a cord by being wound with two strands of thread passing in opposite directions. this produces an elastic fiber intermediate in stiffness between twine and whalebone. it cannot break, but it possesses all the stiffness and flexibility necessary to hold the corset in shape and prevent its wrinkling. we congratulate the ladies of to-day upon the advantages they enjoy over their sisters of two centuries ago, in the forms and the graceful and easy curves of the corsets now made as compared with those of former times. [illustration: forms of corsets in the time of elizabeth of england.] { } tight-lacing. [illustration: egyptian corset.] [illustration: the natural waist. the effects of lacing.] it destroys natural beauty and creates an unpleasant and irritable temper. a tight-laced chest and a good disposition cannot go together. the human form has been molded by nature, the best shape is undoubtedly that which she has given it. to endeavor to render it more elegant by artificial means is to change it; to make it much smaller below and much larger above is to destroy its beauty; to keep it cased up in a kind of domestic cuirass is not only to deform it, but to expose the internal parts to serious injury. under such compression as is commonly practiced by ladies, the { } development of the bones, which are still tender, does not take place conformably to the intention of nature, because nutrition is necessarily stopped, and they consequently become twisted and deformed. those who wear these appliances of tight-lacing often complain that they cannot sit upright without them--are sometimes, indeed, compelled to wear them during all the twenty-four hours; a fact which proves to what extent such articles weaken the muscles of the trunk. the injury does not fall merely on the internal structure of the body, but also on its beauty, and on the temper and feelings with which that beauty is associated. beauty is in reality but another name for expression of countenance, which is the index of sound health, intelligence, good feelings and peace of mind. all are aware that uneasy feelings, existing habitually in the breast speedily exhibit their signature on the countenance, and that bitter thoughts or a bad temper spoil the human expression of its comeliness and grace. * * * * * { } the care of the hair. [illustration: natural hair.] . the color of the hair.--the color of the hair corresponds with that of the skin--being dark or black, with a dark complexion, and red or yellow with a fair skin. when a white skin is seen in conjunction with black hair, as among the women of syria and barbary, the apparent exception arises from protection from the sun's rays, and opposite colors are often found among people of one prevailing feature. thus red-haired jews are not uncommon, though the nation in general have dark complexion and hair. . the imperishable nature of hair.--the imperishable nature of hair arises from the combination of salt and metals in its composition. in old tombs and on mummies it has been found in a perfect state, after a lapse of over two thousand years. there are many curious accounts proving the indestructibility of the human hair. . tubular.--in the human family the hairs are tubular, the tubes being intersected by partitions, resembling in some degree the cellular tissue of plants. their hollowness prevents incumbrance from weight, while their power of resistance is increased by having their traverse sections rounded in form. . cautions.--it is ascertained that a full head of hair, beard and whiskers, are a prevention against colds and consumptions. occasionally, however, it is found necessary to remove the hair from the head, in cases of fever or disease, to stay the inflammatory symptoms, and to relieve the brain. the head should invariably be kept cool. close night-caps are unhealthy, and smoking-caps and coverings for the head within doors are alike detrimental to the free growth of the hair, weakening it, and causing it to fall out. how to beautify and preserve the hair. . to beautify the hair.--keep the head clean, the pores of the skin open, and the whole circulatory system in a healthy condition, and you will have no need of bear's grease (alias hog's lard). where there is a tendency in the hair to fall off on account of the weakness or sluggishness of the circulation, or an unhealthy state of the skin, cold water and friction with a tolerably stiff brush are probably the best remedial agents. . barber's shampoos.--are very beneficial if properly prepared. they should not be made too strong. avoid strong shampoos of any kind. great caution should be exercised in this matter. { } . care of the hair.--to keep the hair healthy, keep the head clean. brush the scalp well with a stiff brush, while dry. then wash with castile soap, and rub into the roots, bay rum, brandy or camphor water. this done twice a month will prove beneficial. brush the scalp thoroughly twice a week. dampen the hair with soft water at the toilet, and do not use oil. . hair wash.--take one ounce of borax, half an ounce of camphor powder--these ingredients fine--and dissolve them in one quart of boiling water. when cool, the solution will be ready for use. dampen the hair frequently. this wash is said not only to cleanse and beautify, but to strengthen the hair, preserve the color and prevent baldness. another excellent wash.--the best wash we know for cleansing and softening the hair is an egg beaten up and rubbed well into the hair, and afterwards washed out with several washes of warm water. . the only sensible and safe hair oil.--the following is considered a most valuable preparation: take of extract of yellow peruvian bark, fifteen grains; extract of rhatany root, eight grains; extract of burdoch root and oil of nutmegs (fixed), of each two drachms; camphor (dissolve with spirits of wine), fifteen grains; beef marrow, two ounces; best olive oil, one ounce; citron juice, half a drachm; aromatic essential oil, as much as sufficient to render it fragrant; mix and make into an ointment. two drachms of bergamot, and a few drops of attar of roses would suffice. . hair wash.--a good hair wash is soap and water, and the oftener it is applied the freer the surface of the head will be from scurf. the hair-brush should also be kept in requisition morning and evening. . to remove superfluous hair.--with those who dislike the use of arsenic, the following is used for removing superfluous hair from the skin: lime, one ounce; carbonate of potash, two ounces; charcoal powder, one drachm. for use, make it into a paste with a little warm water, and apply it to the part, previously shaved close. as soon as it has become thoroughly dry, it may be washed off with a little warm water. . coloring for eyelashes and eyebrows.--in eyelashes the chief element of beauty consists in their being long and glossy; the eyebrows should be finely arched and clearly divided from each other. the most innocent darkener of the brow is the expressed juice of the elderberry, or a burnt clove. { } [illustration: discussing the fashions.] . crimping hair.--to make the hair stay in crimps, take five cents worth of gum arabic and add to it just enough boiling water to dissolve it. when dissolved, add enough alcohol to make it rather thin. let this stand all night and then bottle it to prevent the alcohol from evaporating. this put on the hair at night, after it is done up in papers or pins, will make it stay in crimp the hottest day, and is perfectly harmless. . to curl the hair.--there is no preparation that will make naturally straight hair assume a permanent curl. the following will keep the hair in curl for a short time: take borax, two ounces; gum arabic, one drachm; and hot { } water, not boiling, one quart; stir, and, as soon as the ingredients are dissolved, add three tablespoonfuls of strong spirits of camphor. on retiring to rest, wet the hair with the above liquid, and roll in twists of paper as usual. do not disturb the hair until morning, when untwist and form into ringlets. . for falling or loosening of the hair.--take: alcohol, a half pint. salt, as much as will dissolve. glycerine, a tablespoonful. flour of sulphur, teaspoonful. mix. rub on the scalp every morning. . to darken the hair without bad effects.--take: blue vitriol (powdered), one drachm. alcohol, one ounce. essence of roses, ten drops. rain-water, a half-pint. shake together until they are thoroughly dissolved. . gray hair.--there are no known means by which the hair can be prevented from turning gray, and none which can restore it to its original hue, except through the process of dyeing. the numerous "hair color restorers" which are advertised are chemical preparations which act in the manner of a dye or as a paint, and are nearly always dependent for their power on the presence of lead. this mineral, applied to the skin, for a long time, will lead to the most disastrous maladies--lead-palsy, lead colic, and other symptoms of poisoning. it should, therefore, never be used for this purpose. [illustration] * * * * * { } how to cure pimples or other facial eruptions. [illustration] . it requires self-denial to get rid of pimples, for persons troubled with them will persist in eating fat meats and other articles of food calculated to produce them. avoid the use of rich gravies, or pastry, or anything of the kind in excess. take all the out-door exercise yon can and never indulge in a late supper. retire at a reasonable hour, and rise early in the morning. sulphur to purify the blood may be taken three times a week--a thimbleful in a glass of milk before breakfast. it takes some time for the sulphur to do its work, therefore persevere in its use till the humors, or pimples, or blotches, disappear. avoid getting wet while taking the sulphur. . try this recipe: wash the face twice a day in warm water, and rub dry with a coarse towel. then with a soft towel rub in a lotion made of two ounces of white brandy, one ounce of cologne, and one-half ounce of liquor potassa. { } persons subject to skin eruptions should avoid very salty or fat food. a dose of epsom salts occasionally might prove beneficial. . wash the face in a dilution of carbolic acid, allowing one teaspoonful to a pint of water. this is an excellent and purifying lotion, and may be used on the most delicate skins. be careful about letting this wash get into the eyes. . oil of sweet almonds, one ounce; fluid potash, one drachm. shake well together, and then add rose water, one ounce; pure water, six ounces. mix. rub the pimples or blotches for some minutes with a rough towel, and then dab them with the lotion. . dissolve one ounce of borax, and sponge the face with it every night. when there are insects, rub on flower of sulphur dry after washing, rub well and wipe dry; use plenty of castile soap. . dilute corrosive sublimate with oil of almonds. a few days' application will remove them. * * * * * black-heads and flesh worms. [illustration: a regular flesh worm greatly magnified.] * * * * * [illustration: a healthy complexion.] this is a minute little creature, scientifically called _demodex folliculorum_, hardly visible to the naked eye, with comparatively large fore body, a more slender hind body and eight little stumpy processes that do duty as legs. no specialized head is visible, although of course there is a mouth orifice. these creatures live on the sweat glands or pores of the human face, and owing to the appearance that they give to the infested pores, they are usually known as "black-heads." it is not at all uncommon to see an otherwise pretty face disfigured by these ugly creatures, although the insects themselves are nearly transparent white. the black appearance is really due the accumulation of dirt which gets under the edges of the skin of the enlarged sweat glands and cannot be removed in the ordinary way by washing, because the abnormal, hardened secretion of the gland itself becomes stained. these insects are so lowly organized that it is almost impossible to satisfactorily deal with them. { } and they sometimes cause the continual festering of the skin which they inhabit. remedy.--press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and fingers, and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening. wash every morning with the best toilet soap, or wash the face with hot water with a soft flannel at bedtime. * * * * * { } love. but there's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream.--moore. all love is sweet, given or returned. common as light is love, and its familiar voice wearies not ever.--shelley. doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt i love.--shakespeare. let those love now who never loved before, let those that always loved now love the more.--parnell. [illustration: love's young dream.] . love blends young hearts.--love blends young hearts in blissful unity, and, for the time, so ignores past ties and affections, as to make willing separation of the son from his father's house, and the daughter from all the sweet endearments of her childhood's home, to go out together, and rear for themselves an altar, around which shall cluster all the cares and delights, the anxieties and sympathies, of the family relationship; this love, if pure, unselfish, and discreet, constitutes the chief usefulness and happiness of human life. . without love.--without love there would be no organized households, and, consequently, none of that earnest endeavor for competence and respectability, which is the mainspring to human effort; none of those sweet, softening, restraining and elevating influences of domestic life, which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the lord and make glad the city of zion. this love is indeed heaven upon earth; but above would not be heaven without it; where there is not love, there is fear; but, "love casteth out fear." and yet we naturally do offend what we most love. . love is the sun of life.--most beautiful in morning and evening, but warmest and steadiest at noon. it is the sun of the soul. life without love is worse than death; a world without a sun. the love which does not lead to labor will soon die out, and the thankfulness which does not embody itself in sacrifices is already changing to gratitude. love is not ripened in one day, nor in many, nor even in a human lifetime. it is the oneness of soul with soul in appreciation and perfect trust. to be blessed it must rest in that faith in the divine which underlies every other motion. to be true, it must be eternal as god himself. . love is dependent.--remember that love is dependent upon forms; courtesy of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart. how many hearts have been lost irrevocably, and how many averted eyes and cold looks have been gained from what seemed, perhaps, but a trifling negligence of forms? { } [illustration: love making in the early colonial days.] . radical differences.--men and women should not be judged by the same rules. there are many radical differences in their affectional natures. man is the creature of interest and ambition. his nature leads him forth into the struggle and bustle of the world. love is but the embellishment of his early life, or a song piped in the intervals of the acts. he seeks for fame, for fortune, for space in the world's thoughts, and dominion over his fellow-men. but a woman's whole life is a history of the affections. the heart is her world; it is there her ambition strives for empire; it is there her ambition seeks for hidden treasures. she sends forth her sympathies on adventure; she embarks her whole soul in the traffic of affection; and if shipwrecked her case is hopeless, for it is bankruptcy of the heart. . woman's love.--woman's love is stronger than death; it rises superior to adversity, and towers in sublime beauty above the niggardly selfishness of the world. misfortune cannot suppress it; enmity cannot alienate it; temptation cannot enslave it. it is the guardian angel of the nursery and the sick bed; it gives an affectionate concord to the partnership of life and interest, circumstances cannot modify it; it ever remains the same to sweeten existence, to purify the cup of life, on the rugged pathway to the grave, and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man. it is the ministering spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses over the cradle, and the death-bed of the household, and filling up the urn of all its sacred memories. . a lady's complexion.--he who loves a lady's complexion, form and features, loves not her true self, but her soul's old clothes. the love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers and dies. the love that is fed with presents always requires feeding. love, and love only, is the loan for love. love is of the nature of a burning glass, which, kept still in one place, fireth; changed often, it doth nothing. the purest joy we can experience in one we love, is to see that person a source of happiness to others. when you are with the person loved, you have no sense of being bored. this humble and trivial circumstance is the great test--the only sure and abiding test of love. . two souls come together.--when two souls come together, each seeking to magnify the other, each in subordinate sense worshiping the other, each help the other; the two flying together so that each wing-beat of the one helps each wing-beat of the other--when two souls come together thus, they are lovers. they who unitedly move themselves away from grossness and from earth, toward the throne of crystaline and the pavement golden, are, indeed, true lovers. { } [illustration: cupid's captured victim.] the power and peculiarities of love. * * * * * love is a tonic and a remedy for disease, makes people look younger, creates industry, etc. * * * * * "all thoughts, all passions, all desires, whatever stirs this mortal frame, are ministers of love, and feed his sacred flame." . it is a physological fact long demonstrated that persons possessing a loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life, and also live much longer than persons with a strong, narrow and selfish nature. persons who love scenery, love domestic animals, show great attachment for all friends; love their home dearly and find interest and enchantment in almost everything have qualities of mind and heart which indicate good health and a happy disposition. . persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a tune, are persons that need not be feared, they are kind-hearted and with few exceptions possess a loving disposition. very few good musicians become criminals. . parents that cultivate a love among then children will find that the same feeling will soon be manifested in their children's disposition. sunshine in the hearts of the parents will blossom in the lives of the children. the parent who continually cherishes a feeling of dislike and rebellion in his soul, cultivating moral hatred against his fellow-man, will soon find the same things manifested by his son. as the son resembles his father in looks so he will to a certain extent resemble him in character. love in the heart of the parent will beget kindness and affection in the heart of a child. continuous scolding and fretting in the home will soon make love a stranger. { } [illustration: the turkish way of making love] . if you desire to cultivate love, create harmony in all your feelings and faculties. remember that all that is pure, holy and virtuous in love flows from the deepest fountain of the human soul. poison the fountain and you change virtue to vice, and happiness to misery. . love strengthens health, and disappointment cultivates disease. a person in love will invariably enjoy the best of health. ninety-nine per cent. of our strong constitutioned men, now in physical ruin, have wrecked themselves on the breakers of an unnatural love. nothing but right love and a right marriage will restore them to health. . all men feel much better for going a courting, providing they court purely. nothing tears the life out of man more than lust, vulgar thoughts and immoral conduct. the libertine or harlot has changed love, god's purest gift to man, into lust. they cannot acquire love in its purity again, the sacred flame has vanished forever. love is pure, and cannot be found in the heart of a seducer. . a woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in love. many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of some deadly disease and restored to health by falling in love. . it is a long established fact that married persons are healthier than unmarried persons; thus it proves that health and happiness belong to the home. health depends upon mind. love places the mind into a delightful state and quickens every human function, makes the blood circulate and weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic love. [illustration: preparing to entertain her lover.] . an old but true proverb: "a true man loving one woman will speak well of all women. a true woman loving one man will speak well of all men. a good wife praises all men, but praises her husband most. a good man praises all women, but praises his wife most." . persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant, winning and tender. it is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do his best until he has been deeply in love. a good orator, a great statesman or great men in general are greater and better for having once been thoroughly in love. a man who truly loves his wife and home is always a safe man to trust. . love makes people look younger in years. people in unhappy homes look older and more worn and fatigued. a woman at thirty, well courted and well married, looks five or ten years younger than a woman of the same age unhappily married. old maids and bachelors always look older { } than they are. a flirting widow always looks younger than an old maid of like age. . love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband spends lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards others. . love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. beauty in walk and beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out the finest traits of her character, she walks more erect and is more generous and forgiving; her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all about her. she works better, sings better and is better. . now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance policy; it pays dividends every day, while every other insurance policy merely promises to pay after death. remember that statistics demonstrate that married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by a goodly number of years and enjoy healthier and happier lives. * * * * * { } amativeness or connubial love. [illustration: confidence.] . multiplying the race.--some means for multiplying our race is necessary to prevent its extinction by death. propagation and death appertain to man's earthly existence. if the deity had seen fit to bring every member of the human family into being by a direct act of creative power, without the agency of parents, the present wise and benevolent arrangements of husbands and wives, parents and children, friends and neighbors, would have been superseded, and all opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love, in which so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. but the domestic feelings and relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical observer as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite wisdom and goodness combined. . amativeness and its combinations constitute their origin, counterpart, and main medium of manifestation. its primary function is connubial love. from it, mainly, spring those feelings which exist between the sexes as such and { } result in marriage and offspring. combined with the higher sentiments, it gives rise to all those reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies which each sex manifests towards the other; refining and elevating both, promoting gentility and politeness, and greatly increasing social and general happiness. . renders men more polite to women.--so far from being in the least gross or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous, and even an ingredient in good manners. it is this which renders men always more polite towards women than to one another, and more refined in their society, and which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel and tender towards men than women. it makes mothers love their sons more than their daughters, and fathers more attached to their daughters. man's endearing recollections of his mother or wife form his most powerful incentives to virtue, study, and good deeds, as well as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in proportion as a young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will he be fond of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both. . all should cultivate the faculty of amativeness or connubial lore.--study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the other sex by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful movements and elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the tones and accents of the voice. never be gruff if you desire to be winning. seek and enjoy and reciprocate fond looks and feelings. before you can create favorable impressions you must first be honest and sincere and natural, and your conquest will be sure and certain. * * * * * love and common-sense. . do you love her because she goes to the altar with her head full of book learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano and brush; because she has no conception of the duties and responsibilities of a wife; because she hates housework, hates its everlasting routine and ever recurring duties; because she hates children and will adopt every means to evade motherhood; because she loves her ease, loves to have her will supreme, loves, oh how well, to be free to go and come, to let the days slip idly by, to be absolved from all responsibility, to live without labor, without care? will you love her selfish, shirking, calculating nature after twenty years of close companionship? . do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how weak mentally, morally or physically he may { } be, he has vested in him the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence? because you would rather be mrs. nobody, than make the effort to be miss somebody? because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot live without him? god grant the time may never come when you cannot live with him. [illustration: an earnest caller.] . do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are absolute purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her disposition; for her loving, charitable thought; for her strength of character? because she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the sorrowful, capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief, because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues? . do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women; because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath; because mentally he is a man among men; because physically he stands head and shoulders above the masses; because morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his thought, word or deed; because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on god's side? . but there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly matured, delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care and keeping. that if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened, her happiness, which is largely dependent upon her health, is destroyed. . until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart; until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts. . until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and modesty in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only strengthen. until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all things known to humanity, will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and discontent, instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and enjoy. . be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, and happiness through life will be your reward. { } [illustration] what women love in men. . women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. the ideal man in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. woman naturally despises a coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man. . woman naturally loves her lord and master. women who desperately object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely rule and control. . man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal of the forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect his wife and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which make him a protector. . large men.--women naturally love men of strength, size and fine physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and weak man. a woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any love for him. . small and weakly men.--all men would be of good size in frame and flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before. . youthful sexual excitement.--there are many children born healthy and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children will have small bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. it is therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these symptoms of physical debility. . generosity.--woman generally loves a generous man. religion absorbs a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, etc., and ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman receives more gifts from man than all these combined: she { } loves a generous giver. _generosity and gallantry_ are the jewels which she most admires. a woman receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love, and the woman who accepts a man's presents, and does not respect him, commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven. . intelligence.--above all other qualities in man, woman admires his intelligence. intelligence is man's woman-captivating card. this character in woman is illustrated by an english army officer, as told by o. s. fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, summoned to india, who wrote back to her: "i have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and begrimmed besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed soldier. yet, i love you too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me, from which i hereby release you. find among english peers one physically more perfect, whom you can love better." she answered, as all genuine women must answer: "your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which maimed you, are what i love. as long as you retain sufficient body to contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what i admire, i love you all the same, and long to make you mine forever." . soft men.--all women despise soft and silly men more than all other defects in their character. woman never can love a man whose conversation is flat and insipid. every man seeking woman's appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books and daily papers. he should read books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day. even an ignorant woman always loves superior intelligence. . sexual vigor.--women love sexual vigor in men. this is human nature. weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, though the mother may be strong and robust. a weak mother often bears strong children, if the father is physically and sexually vigorous. consumption is often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the body, yet more women die with it because of female obstructions. hence women love passion in men, because it endows their offspring with strong functional vigor. . passionate men.--the less passion any woman possesses, the more she prizes a strong passionate man. this is a natural consequence, for if she married one equally { } passionless, their children would be poorly endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes up the deficiency. hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and reserved women. . homely men are admired by women if they are large, strong and vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. looks are trifles compared with the other qualities which man may possess. . young man, if you desire to win the love and admiration of young ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you read, so you can talk about it. second, be generous and do not show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may say. ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own. woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue. . be self-supporting.--the young man who gives evidence of thrift is always in demand. be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you undertake. a young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. woman admires a certainty. . uniformed men.--it is a well known fact that women love uniformed men. the soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry than the man without uniform. the correct reason is, the soldier's profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he wears. his profession is also that of a protector. * * * * * { } [illustration] kate shelley the heroine of honey creek, who july , , crept across the trembling bridge in the darkness of a terrific storm, and stopped the approaching passenger train. * * * * * what men love in women. . female beauty.--men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is the highest type of all beauty. a handsome woman needs no diamonds, no silks or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in calico. . false beautifiers.--man's love of female beauty surpasses all other love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. artificial beauty is always an imitation, and never can come into competition with the genuine. no art can successfully imitate nature. . true kind of beauty.--facial beauty is only skin-deep. a beautiful form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. a brilliant face always outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. good looks and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. a girl must therefore be charming as well { } as beautiful, for a charming girl will never become a charmless wife. . a good female body.--no weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's love like a strong, well developed body. a round, plump figure with an overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother. a good body and vigorous health, therefore, become indispensable to female beauty. . broad hips.--a woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak sexuality. the other portions of the body however must be in harmony with the size and breadth of the hips. . full busts.--in the female beauty of physical development there is nothing that can equal full breasts. it is an indication of good health and good maternal qualities. as a face looks bad without a nose, so the female breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad effect. the female breasts are the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth, hence it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood. cotton and all other false forms simply show the value of natural ones. all false forms are easily detected, because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life. as woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all objections to their use. a full breast has been man's admiration through all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see his child brought up on a bottle. men love full breasts, because it promotes maternity. if, however, the breasts are abnormally large, it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or extreme. . small feet.--small feet and small ankles are very attractive, because they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire perfection. small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while large feet and ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, predominance. feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the body, as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and consequently not beautiful. { } . beautiful arms.--as the arm is always in proportion with the other portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty not inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms may be proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a fine figure. . intelligence.--a mother must naturally possess intelligence, in order to rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and practicability depend upon intelligence. therefore a man generally loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of companionship. if a woman desires to be loved, she must cultivate her intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in society, and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty. . piety and religion in women.--men who love home and the companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. it is this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire women of moral and religious natures. it is therefore not strange that immoral men love moral and church-loving wives. man naturally admires the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home. men want good and pure children, and it is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment and happiness. a bad man, of course, does not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost to get one. . false appearance.--men love reserved, coy and discreet women much more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. falsehood, false hair, false curls, false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all that is false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a poor foundation on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men, but a frank, honest, conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid, except as a matter of choice and not of necessity. [illustration] { } history of marriage. [illustration] . "it is not good for man to be alone," was the divine judgment, and so god created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as divine as the soul. { } . polygamy.--polygamy has existed in all ages. it is and always has been the result of moral degradation and wantonness. . the garden of eden.--the garden of eden was no harem. primeval nature knew no community of love; there was only the union of two souls, and the twain were made one flesh. if god had intended man to be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives; but he only created one wife for the first man. he also directed noah to take into the ark two of each sort--a male and female--another evidence that god believed in pairs only. . abraham no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were national customs, and not the institutions authorized by god. . egyptian history.--egyptian history, in the first ostensible form we have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice. . solomon.--it is not strange that solomon, with his thousand wives, exclaimed: "all is vanity and vexation of spirit." polygamy is not the natural state of man. . concubinage and polygamy continued till the fifth century, when the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some concern and recognition. before this woman was regarded simply as an instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify the passions of man. . the chinese marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could have but one wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired. . mohammedanism.--of the , , mohammedans all are polygamists. their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the voluptuous character of the orientals has penetrated western europe and africa. . mormonism.--the mormon church, founded by joseph smith, practiced polygamy until the beginning of , when the church formally declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their religious institution. yet all mormons are polygamists at heart. it is a part of their religion; national law alone restrains them. . free lovers.--there is located at lenox, madison county, new york, an organization popularly known as free lovers. the members advocate a system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom of love for { } any and all. man offers woman support and love, woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union. in their system, love is made synonymous with sexuality, and there is no doubt but what woman is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice. . monogamy (single wife), is a law of nature evident from the fact that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: the development of the individual, the welfare of society and reproduction. in no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights, and the condition of woman is that of a slave. in polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and civilization. the natural tendency is sensualism, and sensualism tends to mental starvation. . christian civilization has lifted woman from slavery to liberty. wherever christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, pure homes and education. may god bless the purity of the home. * * * * * marriage. "thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure, married in haste we may repent at leisure."--shakspeare. the parties are wedded. the priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. the assembled guests congratulate the happy pair. the fair bride has left her dear mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will. they enter the carriage. it drives off on the wedding tour, and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now all his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her choice. if she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad. if she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a pang will shoot across her fair bosom. if she has married without due consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow before long. but, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring. * * * * * { } the advantages of wedlock. 'tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark, bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home; 'tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark our coming, and look brighter when we come.--byron, don juan. [illustration] . marriage is the natural state of man and woman. matrimony greatly contributes to the wealth and health of man. . circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late in life. many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and sisters to care for, yet family { } ties are cultivated, notwithstanding the home is without a wife. . in christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the health of man. marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no marriage ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. there can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married companion. all the licentiousness and lust of a libertine, whether civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and premature decay. . a man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap trouble and unhappiness. a young couple should first carefully learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and understood. . first see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; thirdly, see that there are no physical defects; and if these conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you. . the happiest place on all earth is home. a loving wife and lovely children are jewels without price, as payne says: "'mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." . reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. the elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage. . the consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the union of souls in a true marriage. whatever of beauty or romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. the crown of wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden. passion is lost--emotions predominate. [illustration: an algerian bride.] . too early marriages.--too early marriage is always bad for the female. if a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased. . boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial state. they are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance. . long life.--statistics show that married men live longer than bachelors. child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity. { } . complexion.--marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to old age. . temptations removed.--marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. it must be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious man. the comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul. . total abstention.--it is no doubt difficult for some men to fully abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind. the great majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire. abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control. the hermit in his seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed with these passions and trials. it is, however, natural; for remove these passions and man would be no longer a man. it is evident that the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he who avoids that state is not in harmony with the laws of his being. . prostitution.--men who inherit strong passions easily argue themselves into the belief, either to practice { } masturbation or visit places of prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it. though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet many believe it. the consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by man, and it is the balm of gilead for many ills. masturbation or prostitution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have. manhood is morality and purity of purpose, not sensuality. * * * * * disadvantages of celibacy. [illustration: disadvantages of celibacy. keeping bachelor's hall. the old bachelor sewing on his buttons.] . to live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many disadvantages. the man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor secret vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues that make a good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried. . if a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious loss of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or congestion, nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe. celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical strength. regularity in the habits of life will always have its good effects on the human body. . the average life of a married man is much longer than that of a bachelor. there is quite an alarming odds in the united states in favor of a man with a family. it is claimed that the married man lives on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. the married man lives a more regular life. he has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in sickness, and in every way a happier and more contented man. the happiness of wife and children will always add comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married. . it is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single men than among married men. let the young man be pure in heart like bunyan's pilgrim, and he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions, and overcome the ravenous fires of passion, unscathed. the vices of single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society, hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure. his future happiness largely depends upon his chastity while a single man. * * * * * { } old maids. [illustration: "we shall never marry."] . modern origin.--the prejudice which certainly still exists in the average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively modern origin. from the earliest ages, in ancient greece, and rome particularly, the highest { } honors were paid them. they were the ministers of the old religions, and regarded with superstitious awe. . matrimony.--since the reformation, especially during the last century, and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed, notably by women, that it has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to remain single. old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and disdain, arising no doubt from the belief, conscious or unconscious, that they would not be what they are if they could help it. few persons have a good word for them as a class. we are constantly hearing of lovely maidens, charming wives, buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids. . discarding prejudice.--the real old maid is like any other woman. she has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived of. she is often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, cultured, warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both sexes. these constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel that she must have had many opportunities. some of them may know why; she may have made them her confidantes. she usually has a sentimental, romantic, frequently a sad and pathetic past, of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy. . not quarrelsome.--she is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious. on the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, patient and serene,--more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic cares to tire and trouble them. . remain single from necessity.--it is a stupid, as well as a heinous mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. almost any woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation attests. when we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs of matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have been totally neglected? we may meet those who do not look inviting. but we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting. [illustration: "we have changed our minds."] . first offer.--the appearance and outgiving of many wives denote that they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers. it is undeniable, that wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids have, in the mass. but, as the majority of women are married, they are no more criticised nor commented on, in the bulk, than the whole sex are. they are spoken of individually as pretty or { } plain, bright or dull, pleasant or unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, and almost always unfavorable. . becomes a wife.--many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy having induced her to change her state. probably no other man of his kind has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. after her marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming, thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy. old maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for opportunities, but for proposers of an acceptable sort. they may have, indeed they are likely to have, those, but not to meet these. . no longer marry for support.--the time has changed and women have changed with it. they have grown more sensible, more independent in disposition as well as circumstances. they no longer marry for support; they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and self-support has developed them in every way. assured that they can get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by the assurance for consortship. they have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes, and have so improved in person, mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of forty years ago. [illustration: convincing his wife.] { } when and whom to marry. . early marriages.--women too early married always remain small in stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. we have no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. it is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and mind has taken place. a young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "first make the tree good, then shall the fruit be good also." . if marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity, idiocy, and other maladies. . puberty.--this is the period when childhood passes from immaturity of the sexual functions to maturity. woman attains this state a year or two sooner than man. in the hotter climates the period of puberty is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as russia, the united states, and canada, puberty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year. . diseased parents.--we do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the number of hereditary invalids. whole families of children have fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of parents. no young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble constitution. it only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife. on the other hand, no healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the hardships of life. if a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. courting a patient may be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. the young lady who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake. [illustration: the bashful young couple. "a faint heart never won a fair lady."] . whom to choose for a husband.--the choice of a husband requires the coolest judgment and the most { } vigilant sagacity. a true union based on organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water will not mix; the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord. "let the woman take an elder than herself, so wears she to him-- so sways she, rules in her husband's heart." look carefully at the disposition.--see that your intended spouse is kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others, though not in sympathy with them. don't marry a selfish tyrant who thinks only of himself. . be careful.--don't marry an intemperate man with a view of reforming him. thousands have tried it and failed. misery, sorrow and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such generous undertakings. . the true and only test which any man should look for in woman is modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste wife. . marrying first cousins is dangerous to offspring. the observation is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. first cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to their children. if both are healthy there is less danger. . do not choose one too good, or too far above you, lest the inferior dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than the trials of a single life. don't be too particular; for you might go farther and fare worse. as far as you yourself are faulty, you should put up with faults. don't cheat a consort by getting one much better than you can give. we are not in heaven yet, and must put up with their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better than none, if he loves you. . marrying for money.--those who seek only the society of those who can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment. wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness. marry because you love each other, and god will bless your home. a cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a discontented and unloving queen. { } . difference in age.--it is generally admitted that the husband should be a few years older than the wife. the question seems to be how much difference. up to twenty-two those who propose marriage should be about the same age; however, other things being equal, a difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five, need not prevent a marriage. a man of forty-five may marry a woman of twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen, because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his, and again her natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than he is likely to bestow. a girl of twenty or under should seldom if ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly man for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like that of a daughter to a father. he may pet, flatter and indulge her as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man requires from his wife. . the best time.--all things considered, we advise the male reader to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the age of twenty. after those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of action, and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature to play his proper part. . select carefully.--while character, health, accomplishments and social position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental construction and physical conformation. the rule always to be followed in choosing a life partner is _identity of taste and diversity of temperament_. another essential is that they be physically adapted to each other. for example: the pelvis--that part of the anatomy containing all the internal organs of gestation--is not only essential to beauty and symmetry, but is a matter of vital importance to her who contemplates matrimony, and its usual consequences. therefore, the woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state, while the birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains, or even cost her her life. { } * * * * * choose intellectually--love afterward. [illustration: explaining the necessity for a new bonnet.] . love.--let it ever be remembered that love is one of the most sacred elements of our nature, and the most dangerous with which to tamper. it is a very beautiful and delicately contrived faculty, producing the most delightful results, but easily thrown out of repair--like a tender plant, the delicate fibers of which incline gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one, uniting two willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties, and making of "twain one flesh"; but they are easily torn asunder, and then adieu to the joys of connubial bliss! { } . courting by the quarter.--this courting by the quarter, "here a little and there a little," is one of the greatest evils of the day. this getting a little in love with julia, and then a little with eliza, and a little more with mary,--this fashionable flirtation and coquetry of both sexes--is ruinous to the domestic affections; besides, effectually preventing the formation of true connubial love. i consider this dissipation of the affections one of the greatest sins against heaven, ourselves, and the one trifled with, that can be committed. . frittering away affections.--young men commence courting long before they think of marrying, and where they entertain no thoughts of marriage. they fritter away their own affections, and pride themselves on their conquests over the female heart; triumphing in having so nicely fooled them. they pursue this sinful course so far as to drive their pitiable victims, one after another, from respectable society, who, becoming disgraced, retaliate by heaping upon them all the indignities and impositions which the fertile imagination of woman can invent or execute. . courting without intending to marry.--nearly all this wide-spread crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness and prostitution, has its origin in these unmeaning courtships--this premature love--this blighting of the affections, and every young man who courts without intending to marry, is throwing himself or his sweetheart into _this hell upon earth_. and most of the blame rests on young men, because they take the liberty of paying their addresses to the ladies and discontinuing them, at pleasure, and thereby mainly cause this vice. . setting their caps.--true, young ladies sometimes "set their caps," sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate manners; by the natural language of love, or that backward reclining and affectionate roll of the head which expresses it; by their soft and persuasive accents; by their low dresses, artificial forms, and many other unnatural and affected ways and means of attracting attention and exciting love; but women never court till they have been in love and experienced its interruption, till their first and most tender fibres of love have been frostbitten by disappointment. it is surely a sad condition of society. [illustration: "hasty familiarity is fraught with many dangers."] . trampling the affections of women.--but man is a self-privileged character. he may not only violate the laws of his own social nature with impunity, but he may even trample upon the affections of woman. he may even carry { } this sinful indulgence to almost any length, and yet be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman; aye, even by virtuous woman. he may call out, only to blast the glowing affections of one young lady after another, and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed by others. surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his addresses, not only to a lady, but even to the ladies, although he does not once entertain the thought of marrying his sweet-heart, or, rather his victim. o, man, how depraved! o, woman, how strangely blind to your own rights and interests! . an infallible sign.--an infallible sign that a young man's intentions are improper, is his trying to excite your passions. if he loves you, he will never appeal to that feeling, because he respects you too much for that. and the woman who allows a man to take advantage of her just to compel him to marry her, is lost and heartless in the last degree, and utterly destitute of moral principle as well as virtue. a woman's riches is her virtue, that gone she has lost all. . the beginning of licentiousness.--man it seldom drives from society. do what he may, woman, aye, virtuous and even pious woman rarely excludes him from her list of visitors. but where is the point of propriety?--immoral transgression should exclude either sex from respectable society. is it that one false step which now constitutes the boundary between virtue and vice? or rather, the discovery of that false step? certainly not! but it is all that leads to, and precedes and induces it. it is this courting without marrying. this is the beginning of licentiousness, as well as its main, procuring cause, and therefore infinitely worse than its consummation merely. . searing the social affections.--he has seared his social affections so deeply, so thoroughly, so effectually, that when, at last, he wishes to marry, he is incapable of loving. he marries, but is necessarily cold-hearted towards his wife, which of course renders her wretched, if not jealous, and reverses the faculties of both towards each other; making both most miserable for life. this induces contention and mutual recrimination, if not unfaithfulness, and imbitters the marriage relations through life; and well it may. . unhappy marriages.--this very cause, besides inducing most of that unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to, renders a large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy. good people mourn over the result, but do not once dream of its cause. they even pray for moral reform, yet do the very things that increase the evil. { } [illustration: after the engagement.] . weeping over her fallen son.--do you see yonder godly mother, weeping over her fallen son, and remonstrating with him in tones of a mother's tenderness and importunity? that very mother prevented that very son marrying the girl he dearly loved, because she was poor, and this interruption of his love was the direct and procuring cause of his ruin; for, if she had allowed him to marry this beloved one, he never would have thought of giving his "strength unto strange women." true, the mother ruined her son ignorantly, but none the less effectually. . seduction and ruin.--that son next courts another virtuous fair one, engages her affections, and ruins her, or else leaves her broken-hearted, so that she is the more easily ruined by others, and thus prepares the way for her becoming an inmate of a house "whose steps take hold on hell." his heart is now indifferent, he is ready for anything. . the right principle.--i say then, with emphasis, that no man should ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his selection, not even to aid him in making that choice. he should first make his selection intellectually, and love afterward. he should go about the matter coolly and with judgment, just as he would undertake any other important matter. no man or woman, when blinded by love, is in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires, or who is adapted to his or her wants. . choosing first and loving afterwards.--i know, indeed, that this doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love from the councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the intellect and moral sentiments, is entirely at variance with the feelings of the young and the customs of society; but, for its correctness, i appeal to the common-sense--not to the experience, for so few try this plan. is not this the only proper method, and the one most likely to result happily? try it. . the young woman's caution.--and, especially, let no young lady ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they will not be broken off--that is, until the match is fully agreed upon; but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life. this requisition is as much more important, and its violation as much more disastrous to woman than to man, as her social faculties are stronger than his. . a burnt child dreads the fire.--as a "burnt child dreads the fire," and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread: so your affections, once interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and distrust all mankind. no! you cannot be too choice of your love--that pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness. * * * * * { } love-spats. for aught that ever i could read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did ran smooth."--shakespeare. "heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."--congreve. "thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation; then why not love-spats promote love, as they certainly often do? they are almost universal, and in the nature of our differences cannot be helped. the more two love, the more they are aggrieved by each other's faults; of which these spats are but the correction. love-spats instead of being universal, they are consequent on imperfect love, and only aggravate, never correct errors. sexual storms never improve, whereas love obviates faults by praising the opposite virtues. every view of them, practical and philosophical, condemns them as being to love what poison is to health, both before and after marriage. they are nothing but married discords. every law of mind and love condemns them. shun them as you would deadly vipers, and prevent them by forestallment."--o. s. fowler. * * * * * . the true facts.--notwithstanding some of the above quotations, to the contrary, trouble and disagreement between lovers embitters both love and life. contention is always dangerous, and will beget alienation if not final separation. . confirmed affections.--where affections are once thoroughly confirmed, each one should be very careful in taking offense, and avoid all disagreements as far as possible, but if disagreements continually develop with more or less friction and irritation, it is better for the crisis to come and a final separation take place. for peace is better than disunited love. [illustration: cupid's rebellion] . hate-spats.--hate-spats, though experienced by most lovers, yet, few realize how fatal they are to subsequent affections. love-spats develop into hate-spats, and their effects upon the affections are blighting and should not under any circumstances be tolerated. either agree, or agree to disagree. if there cannot be harmony before the ties of marriage are assumed, then there cannot be harmony { } after. married life will be continually marred by a series of "hate-spats" that sooner or later will destroy all happiness, unless the couple are reasonably well mated. . more fatal the oftener they occur.--as o. s. fowler says: "'the poison of asps is under their lips.' the first spat is like a deep gash cut into a beautiful face, rendering it ghastly, and leaving a fearful scar, which neither time nor cosmetics can ever efface; including that pain so fatal to love, and blotting that sacred love-page with memory's most hideous and imperishable visages. cannot many now unhappy remember them as the beginning of that alienation which embittered your subsequent affectional cup, and spoiled your lives? with what inherent repulsion do you look back upon them? their memory is horrid, and effect on love most destructive." . fatal conditions.--what are all lovers' "spats" but disappointment in its very worst form? they necessarily and always produce all its terrible consequences. the finer feelings and sensibilities will soon become destroyed and nothing but hatred will remain. . extreme sorrow.--after a serious "spat" there generally follows a period of tender sorrow, and a feeling of humiliation and submission. mutual promises are consequently made that such a condition of things shall never happen again, etc. but be sure and remember, that every subsequent difficulty will require stronger efforts to repair the breach. let it be understood that these compromises are dangerous, and every new difficulty increases their fatality. even the strongest will endure but few, nor survive many. . distrust and want of confidence.--most difficulties arise from distrust or lack of confidence or common-sense. when two lovers eye each other like two curs, each watching, lest the other should gain some new advantage, then this shows a lack of common-sense, and the young couple should get sensible or separate. . jealousy.--when one of the lovers, once so tender, now all at once so cold and hardened; once so coy and familiar, now suddenly so reserved, distant, hard and austere, is always a sure case of jealousy. a jealous person is first talkative, very affectionate, and then all at once changes and becomes cold, reserved and repulsive, apparently without cause. if a person is jealous before marriage, this characteristic will be increased rather than diminished by marriage. { } . confession.--if you make up by confession, the confessor feels mean and disgraced; or if both confess and forgive, both feel humbled; since forgiveness implies inferiority and pity; from which whatever is manly and womanly shrinks. still even this is better than continued "spats." . prevention.--if you can get along well in your courtship you will invariably make a happy couple if you should unite your destinies in marriage. learn not to give nor take offence. you must remember that all humanity is imperfect at best. we all have our faults, and must keep them in subordination. those who truly love each other will have but few difficulties in their courtship or in married life. . remedies.--establishing a perfect love in the beginning constitutes a preventive. fear that they are not truly loved usually paves the way for "spats." let all who make any pretension guard against all beginnings of this reversal, and strangle these "hate-spats" the moment they arise. "let not the sun go down upon thy wrath," not even an hour, but let the next sentence after they begin quench them forever. and let those who cannot court without "spats," stop; for those who spat before marriage, must quarrel after. [illustration: "let not the sun go down upon thy wrath."] [illustration] * * * * * { } a broken heart. [illustration: a broken heart] . wounded love.--tis true that love wields a magic, sovereign, absolute, and tyrannical power over both the body and the mind when it is given control. it often, in case of disappointment, works havoc and deals death blows to its victims, and leaves many in that morbid mental condition which no life-tonics simply can restore. wounded love may be the result of hasty and indiscreet conduct of young people; or the outgrowth of lust, or the result of domestic infidelity and discord. . fatal effects.--our cemeteries receive within the cold shadows of the grave thousands and thousands of victims that annually die from the results of "broken hearts." it is no doubt a fact that love troubles cause more disorders of the heart than everything else combined. . disrupted love.--it has long been known that dogs, birds, and even horses, when separated from their companions or friends, have pined away and died; so it is not strange that man with his higher intuitive ideas of affection should suffer from love when suddenly disrupted. . crucifying love.--painful love feelings strike right to the heart, and the breaking up of love that cannot be consummated in marriage is sometimes allowed to crucify the affections. there is no doubt that the suffering from disappointed love is often deeper and more intense than meeting death itself. . healing.--the paralyzing and agonizing consequences of ruptured love can only be remedied by diversion and society. bring the mind into a state of patriotic independence with a full determination to blot out the past. those who cannot bring into subordination the pangs of disappointment in love are not strong characters, and invariably will suffer disappointments in almost every department of life. disappointment in love means rising above it, and conquering it, or demoralization, mental, physical and sexual. . love runs mad.--love comes unbidden. a blind ungovernable impulse seems to hold sway in the passions of the affections. love is blind and seems to completely subdue and conquer. it often comes like a clap of thunder from a clear sky, and when it falls it falls flat, leaving only the ruins of a tornado behind. . bad, dismal, and blue feelings.--despondency breathes disease, and those who yield to it can neither work, eat nor sleep; they only suffer. the spell-bound, fascinated, magnetized affections seem to deaden self-control and no { } doubt many suffering from love-sickness are totally helpless; they are beside themselves, irritational and wild. men and women of genius, influence and education, all seem to suffer alike, but they do not yield alike to the subduing influence; some pine away and die; others rise above it, and are the stronger and better for having been afflicted. . rise above it.--cheer up! if you cannot think pleasurably over your misfortune, forget it. you must do this or perish. your power and influence is too much to blight by foolish and melancholicy pining. your own sense, your self-respect, your self-love, your love for others, command you not to spoil yourself by crying over "spilt milk." [illustration: marriage on a deathbed.] . retrieve your past loss.--do sun, moon, and stars indeed rise and set in your loved one? are there not "as good fish in the sea as ever were caught?" and can you not catch them? are there not other hearts on earth just as loving and lovely, and in every way as congenial? if circumstances had first turned you upon another, you would have felt about that one as now about this. love depends far less on the party loved than on the loving one. or is this the way either to retrieve your past loss, or provide for the future? is it not both unwise and self-destructive; and in every way calculated to render your case, present and prospective, still more hopeless? . find something to do.--idle hands are satan's workshop. employ your mind; find something to do; something in which you can find self-improvement; something that will fit you better to be admired by someone else, read, and improve your mind; get into society, throw your whole soul into some new enterprise, and you will conquer with glory and come out of the fire purified and made more worthy. . love again.--as love was the cause of your suffering, so love again will restore you, and you will love better and more consistently. do not allow yourself to become soured and detest and shun association. rebuild your dilapidated sexuality by cultivating a general appreciation of the excellence, especially of the mental and moral qualities of the opposite sex. conquer your prejudices, and vow not to allow anyone to annoy or disturb your calmness. . love for the dead.--a most affectionate woman, who continues to love her affianced though long dead, instead of becoming soured or deadened, manifests all the richness and sweetness of the fully-developed woman thoroughly in love, along with a softened, mellow, twilight sadness which touches every heart, yet throws a peculiar lustre and beauty over her manners and entire character. she must mourn, { } but not forever. it is not her duty to herself or to her creator. . a sure remedy.--come in contact with the other sex. you are infused with your lover's magnetism, which must remain till displaced by another's. go to parties and picnics; be free, familiar, offhand, even forward; try your knack at fascinating another, and yield to fascinations yourself. but be honest, command respect, and make yourself attractive and worthy. * * * * * { } former customs and peculiarities among men. . polygamy.--there is a wide difference as regards the relations of the sexes in different parts of the world. in some parts polygamy has prevailed from time immemorial. most savage people are polygamists, and the turks, though slowly departing from the practice, still allow themselves a plurality of wives. . rule reversed.--in thibet the rule is reversed, and the females are provided with two or more husbands. it is said that in many instances a whole family of brothers have but one wife. the custom has at least one advantageous feature, viz.: the possibility of leaving an unprotected widow and a number of fatherless children is entirely obviated. . the morganatic marriage is a modification of polygamy. it sometimes occurs among the royalty of europe, and is regarded as perfectly legitimate, but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal husband, and her children do not inherit his rank or fortune. the queen only is the consort of the sovereign, and entitled to share his rank. . different manners of obtaining wives.--among the uncivilized almost any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength. the same is true in obtaining a wife. the strong take precedence of the weak. it is said that among the north american indians it was the custom for men to wrestle for the choice of women. a weak man could seldom retain a wife that a strong man coveted. the law of contest was not confined to individuals alone. women were frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each other in battle. the effort to excel in physical power was a great incentive to bodily development, and since the best of the men were preferred by the most superior women, the custom was a good one in this, that the race was improved. . the aboriginal australian employed low cunning and heartless cruelty in obtaining his wife. laying in ambush, with club in hand, he would watch for the coveted woman, { } and, unawares, spring upon her. if simply disabled he carried her off as his possession, but if the blow had been hard enough to kill, he abandoned her to watch for another victim. there is here no effort to attract or please, no contest of strength; his courtship, if courtship it can be called, would compare very unfavorably with any among the brute creation. . the kalmuck tartar races for his bride on horseback, she having a certain start previously agreed upon. the _nuptial knot_ consists in catching her, but we are told that the result of the race all depends upon whether the girl wants to be caught or not. . sandwich islanders.--marriage among the early natives of these islands was merely a matter of mutual inclination. there was no ceremony at all, the men and women united and separated as they felt disposed. . the feudal lord, in various parts of europe, when any of his dependents or followers married, exercised the right of assuming the bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night. seldom was there any escape from this abominable practice. sometimes the husband, if wealthy, succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign from exercising his privilege. . the spartans had the custom of encouraging intercourse between their best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny, without any reference to a marriage ceremony. records show that the ancient roman husband has been known to invite a friend, in whom he may have admired some physical or mental trait, to share the favors of his wife, that the peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in the offspring. [illustration] { } [illustration: the peasant father blessing his daughter at her engagement.] * * * * * { } [illustration] hasty marriage seldom proveth well.--_shakespere, henry vi._ the reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.--_swift, thoughts on various subjects._ * * * * * sensible hints in choosing a partner. . there are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in courtship. natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern to eternal right; therefore love naturally, not artificially. don't love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money. . court scientifically.--if you court at all, court scientifically. bungle whatever else you will, but do not bungle courtship. a failure in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may mean ruin, or a life often worse than death. the world is full of wretched and mismated people. begin right and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong. when you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same as you would study any other business proposition. . divorces.--there is not a divorce on our court records that is not the result of some fundamental error in courtship. the purity or the power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the dark for a companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a crime against god and society. in this enlightened age there should be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable partner. sufficient time should be taken to study each other's character and disposition. association will soon reveal adaptability. . false love.--many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in his nature. it is all a momentary { } passion, a sort of puppy love; his vows and pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become indifferent and cold to his wife and children, and he will go through life without ambition, encouragement or success. he will be a failure. true love speaks for itself, and the casual observer can read its proclamations. true love does not speak in a whisper. it always makes itself heard. the follies of flirting develop into many unhappy marriages, and blight many a life. a man happily married has superior advantages both socially and financially. . flirting just for fun.--who is the flirt, what is his reputation, motive, or character? every young man and woman must have a reputation; if it is not good it is bad, there is no middle ground. young people who are running in the streets after dark, boisterous and noisy in their conversation, gossiping and giggling, flirting with first one and then another, will soon settle their matrimonial prospects among good society. modesty is a priceless jewel. no sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt. . the arch-deceiver.--they who win the affection simply for their own amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate punishment. how can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? remember that god is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely die." you may dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and visit gambling hells, but "thou art the man" will ever stare you in the face. her pale, sad cheeks, her hollow eyes will never cease to haunt you. men should promote happiness, and not cause misery. let the savage indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot, but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding women. torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity. young men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils, not men. . the rule to follow.--do not continually pay your attentions to the same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. occasionally escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly proper; but to give her your special attention, and extend invitations to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend, is an implied promise that you prefer her company above all others, and she has a right to believe that your attentions are serious. { } [illustration: the wedding ring.] . every girl should seal her heart against all manifested affections, unless they are accompanied by a proposal. woman's love is her all, and her heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy of her confidence. young woman, never bestow your affections until by some word or deed at least you are fully justified in recognizing sincerity and faith in him who is paying you special attention. better not be engaged until twenty-two. you are { } then more competent to judge the honesty and falsity of man. nature has thrown a wall of maidenly modesty around you. preserve that and not let your affections be trifled with while too young by any youthful flirt who is in search of hearts to conquer. . female flirtation.--the young man who loves a young woman has paid her the highest compliment in the possession of man. perpetrate almost any sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of disappointment. it is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt that never can be paid. . loyalty.--young persons with serious intentions, or those who are engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other. if they seek freedom with others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is often turned to hatred, and the severest anger of the soul is aroused. loyalty, faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be cherished in courtship. don't be a flirt. . kissing, fondling, and caressing between lovers.--this should never be tolerated under any circumstances, unless there is an engagement to justify it, and then only in a sensible and limited way. the girl who allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or putting his arms around her waist before engagement will at once fall in the estimation of the man she has thus gratified and desired to please. privileges always injure, but never benefit. [illustration: saying "no" when meaning "yes."] . improper liberties during courtship kill love.--any improper liberties which are permitted by young ladies, whether engaged or not, will change love into sensuality, and her affections will become obnoxious, if not repellent. men by nature love virtue, and for a life companion naturally shun an amorous woman. young folks, as you love moral purity and virtue, never reciprocate love until you have required the right of betrothal. remember that those who are thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other. the purity of woman is doubly attractive, and sensuality in her becomes doubly offensive and repellent. it is contrary to the laws of nature for a man to love a harlot. . a seducer.--the punishment of the seducer is best given by o. s. fowler, in his "creative science." the sin and punishment rest on all you who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin's affections, and then discard her. you deserve to be horsewhipped by her father, cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother, cursed by herself, and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon. { } . caution.--a young lady should never encourage the attentions of a young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. if a young man is indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as soon as the honey moon is over. there are few if any exceptions to this rule. the brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's home will make a very poor husband. . the old rule: "never marry a man that does not make his mother a christmas present every christmas," is a good one. the young lady makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his mother and respects his sisters and brothers. * * * * * { } safe hints. [illustration: a chinese bride and groom.] . marry in your own position in life. if there is any difference in social position, it is better that the husband should be the superior. a woman does not like to look down upon her husband, and to be obliged to do so is a poor guarantee for their happiness. . it is best to marry persons of your own faith and religious convictions, unless one is willing to adopt those of the other. difference of faith is apt to divide families, and to produce great trouble in after life. a pious woman should beware of marrying an irreligious man. { } . don't be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman. good health, cheerful disposition, stout hearts and industrious hands will bring happiness and comfort. . bright red hair should marry jet black, and jet black auburn or bright red, etc. and the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a man, the more dark, calm, cool and quiet should his wife be; and vice versa. the florid should not marry the florid, but those who are dark, in proportion as they themselves are light. . red-whiskered men should marry brunettes, but no blondes; the color of the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of the hair. . the color of the eyes is still more important. gray eyes must marry some other color, almost any other except gray; and so of blue, dark, hazel, etc. . those very fleshy should not marry those equally so, but those too spare and slim; and this is doubly true of females. a spare man is much better adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man. two who are short, thick-set and stocky, should not unite in marriage, but should choose those differently constituted; but on no account one of their own make. and, in general, those predisposed to corpulence are therefore less inclined to marriage. . those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is naturally abundant; still those who once had plenty, but who have lost it, may marry those who are either bald or have but little; for in this, as in all other cases, all depends on what one is by nature, little on present states. . those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates, who are bony, only moderately fleshy, quite prominent-featured, roman-nosed and muscular, should not marry those similarly formed. . small, nervous men must not marry little, nervous or sanguine women, lest both they and their children have quite too much of the hot-headed and impulsive, and die suddenly. [illustration: light, life, health and beauty.] . two very beautiful persons rarely do or should marry; nor two extra homely. the fact is a little singular that very handsome women, who of course can have their pick, rarely marry good-looking men, but generally give preference to those who are homely; because that { } exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends with that power which accompanies huge noses and disproportionate features. . rapid movers, speakers, laughers, etc., should marry those who are calm and deliberate, and impulsives those who are stoical; while those who are medium may marry those who are either or neither, as they prefer. . noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and temperaments. accordingly, those noses especially marked either way should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics. roman noses are adapted to those which turn up, and pug noses to those turning down; while straight noses may marry either. . men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry imperious, women's-rights woman; while those who willingly "obey order;" need just such. some men require a wife who shall take their part; yet all who do not need strong-willed women, should be careful how they marry them. . a sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious, unintelligent man; because she cannot long endure to see and help him blindly follow his poor, but spurn her good, plans. . the reserved or secretive should marry the frank. a cunning man cannot endure the least artifice in a wife. those who are non-committal must marry those who are demonstrative; else, however much they may love, neither will feel sure as to the other's affections, and each will distrust the other, while their children will be deceitful. . a timid woman should never marry a hesitating man, lest, like frightened children, each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by imaginary fears. . an industrious, thrifty, hard-working man should marry a woman tolerably saving and industrious. as the "almighty dollar" is now the great motor-wheel of humanity, and that to which most husbands devote their entire lives, to delve alone is uphill work. [illustration] { } marriage securities. [illustration: we must part.] . seek each other's happiness.--a selfish marriage that seeks only its own happiness defeats itself. happiness is a fire that will not burn long on one stick. { } . do not marry suddenly.--it can always be done till it is done, if it is a proper thing to do. . marry in your own grade in society.--it is painful to be always apologizing for any one. it is more painful to be apologized for. . do not marry downward.--it is hard enough to advance in the quality of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own. it will be sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level without having to correct a bias in their blood. . do not sell yourself.--it matters not whether the price be money or position. . do not throw yourself away.--you will not receive too much, even if you are paid full price. . seek the advice of your parents.--your parents are your best friends. they will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals. they are elevated above selfishness concerning you. if they differ from you concerning your choice, it is because they must. . do not marry to please any third party.--you must do the living and enduring. . do not marry to spite anybody.--it would add wretchedness to folly. . do not marry because someone else may seek the same hand.--one glove may not fit all hands equally well. . do not marry to get rid of anybody.--the coward who shot himself to escape from being drafted was insane. . do not marry merely for the impulse of love.--love is a principle as well as an emotion. so far as it is a sentiment it is a blind guide. it does not wait to test the presence of exalted character in its object before breaking out into a flame. shavings make a hot fire, but hard coal is better for the winter. . do not marry without love.--a body without a soul soon becomes offensive. . test carefully the effect of protracted association.--if familiarity breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward. . test carefully the effect of protracted separation.--true love will defy both time and space. . consider carefully the right of your children under the laws of heredity. it is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the number of invalids and cripples. . do not marry simply because you have promised to do so.--if a seam opens between you now it will widen into { } a gulf. it is less offensive to retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the altar. your intended spouse has a right to absolute integrity. [illustration: going to be married.] . marry character.--it is not so much what one has as what one is. . do not marry the wrong object.--themistocles said he would rather marry his daughter to a man without { } money than to money without a man. it is well to have both. it is fatal to have neither. . demand a just return.--you give virtue and purity, and gentleness and integrity. you have a right to demand the same in return. duty requires it. . require brains.--culture is good, but will not be transmitted. brain power may be. . study past relationship.--the good daughter and sister makes a good wife. the good son and brother makes a good husband. . never marry as a missionary deed.--if one needs saving from bad habits he is not suitable for you. . marriage is a sure and specific remedy for all the ills known as seminal losses. as right eating cures a sick stomach and right breathing diseased lungs, so the right use of the sexual organs will bring relief and restoration. many men who have been sufferers from indiscretions of youth, have married, and were soon cured of spermatorrhoea and other complications which accompanied it. . a good, long courtship will often cure many difficulties or ills of the sexual organs. o. s. fowler says: "see each other often spend many pleasant hours together," have many walks and talks, think of each other while absent, write many love letters, be inspired to many love feelings and acts towards each other, and exercise your sexuality in a thousand forms ten thousand times, every one of which tones up and thereby recuperates this very element now dilapidated. when you have courted long enough to marry, you will be sufficiently restored to be reimproved by it. come, up and at it.--dress up, spruce up, and be on the alert. don't wait too long to get one much more perfect than you are; but settle on some one soon. remember that your unsexed state renders you over-dainty, and easily disgusted. so contemplate only their lovable qualities. . purity of purpose.--court with a pure and loyal purpose, and when thoroughly convinced that the disposition of other difficulties are in the way of a happy marriage life, then _honorably_ discuss it and honorably treat each other in the settlement. . do not trifle with the feelings or affections of each other. it is a sin that will curse you all the days of your life. * * * * * { } women who make the best wives. . conscious of the duties of her sex.--a woman conscious of the duties of her sex, one who unflinchingly discharges the duties allotted to her by nature, would no doubt make a good wife. . good wives and mothers.--the good wives and mothers are the women who believe in the sisterhood of women as well as in the brotherhood of men. the highest exponent of this type seeks to make her home something more than an abode where children are fed, clothed and taught the catechism. the state has taken her children into politics by making their education a function of politicians. the good wife and homemaker says to her children, "where thou goest, i will go." she puts off her own inclinations to ease and selfishness. she studies the men who propose to educate her children; she exhorts mothers to sit beside fathers on the school-board; she will even herself accept such thankless office in the interests of the helpless youth of the schools who need a mother's as well as a father's and a teacher's care in this field of politics. . a busy woman.--as to whether a busy woman, that is, a woman who labors for mankind in the world outside her home,--whether such an one can also be a good housekeeper, and care for her children, and make a real "home, sweet home!" with all the comforts by way of variation, why! i am ready, as the result of years practical experience as a busy woman, to assert that women of affairs can also be women of true domestic tastes and habits. . brainy enough.--what kind of women make the best wives? the woman who is brainy enough to be a companion, wise enough to be a counsellor, skilled enough in the domestic virtues to be a good housekeeper, and loving enough to guide in true paths the children with whom the home may be blessed. . found the right husband.--the best wife is the woman who has found the right husband, a husband who understands her. a man will have the best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women. of all women she should always be to him the dearest. this sort of man will not only praise the dishes made by his wife, but will actually eat them. [illustration: punishment of wife beaters in new england in the early days.] . bank account.--he will allow his life-companion a bank account, and will exact no itemized bill at the end of the month. above all, he will pay the easter bonnet bill without a word, never bring a friend to dinner without first telephoning home,--short, he will comprehend that the { } woman who makes the best wife is the woman whom, by his indulgence of her ways and whims, he makes the best wife. so after all, good husbands have the most to do with making good wives. . best home maker.--a woman to be the best home maker needs to be devoid of intensive "nerves." she must be neat and systematic, but not too neat, lest she destroy the comfort she endeavors to create. she must be distinctly amiable, while firm. she should have no "career," or desire for a career, if she would fill to perfection the home sphere. she must be affectionate, sympathetic and patient, and fully appreciative of the worth and dignity of her sphere. . know nothing whatsoever about cooking or sewing or housekeeping.--i am inclined to make my answer to this question somewhat concise, after the manner of a text without the sermon. like this: to be the "best wife" depends upon three things: first, an abiding faith with god; second, duty lovingly discharged as daughter, wife and mother; third, self-improvement, mentally, physically, spiritually. with this as a text and as a glittering generality, let me touch upon one or two practical essentials. in the course of every week it is my privilege to meet hundreds of young women,--prospective wives. i am astonished to find that many of these know nothing whatsoever about cooking or sewing or housekeeping. now, if a woman cannot broil a beefsteak, nor boil the coffee when it is necessary, if she cannot mend the linen, nor patch a coat, if she cannot make a bed, order the dinner, create a lamp-shade, ventilate the house, nor do anything practical in the way of making home actually a home, how can she expect to make even a good wife, not to speak of a better or best wife? i need not continue this sermon. wise girls will understand. . the best keeper of home.--as to who is the best keeper of this transition home, memory pictures to me a woman grown white under the old slavery, still bound by it, in that little-out-of-the-way kansas town, but never so bound that she could not put aside household tasks, at any time, for social intercourse, for religious conversation, for correspondence, for reading, and, above all, for making everyone who came near her feel that her home was the expression of herself, a place for rest, study, and the cultivation of affection. she did not exist for her walls, her carpets, her furniture; they existed for her and all who came to her. she considered herself the equal of all; and everyone else thought her the superior of all. * * * * * { } adaptation, conjugal affection, and fatal errors. * * * * * advice to the married and unmarried. . marrying for wealth.--those who marry for wealth often get what they marry and nothing else; for rich girls, besides being generally destitute of both industry and economy, are generally extravagant in their expenditures, and require servants enough to dissipate a fortune. they generally have insatiable wants, yet feel that they deserve to be indulged in everything, because they placed their husbands under obligation to them by bringing them a dowry. and then the mere idea of living on the money of a wife, and of being supported by her, is enough to tantalize any man of an independent spirit. . self-support.--what spirited husband would not prefer to support both himself and wife, rather than submit to this perpetual bondage of obligation. to live upon a father, or take a patrimony from him, is quite bad enough; but to run in debt to a wife, and owe her a living, is a little too aggravating for endurance, especially if there be not perfect cordiality between the two, which cannot be the case in money matches. better live wifeless, or anything else, rather than marry for money. . money-seekers.--shame on sordid wife-seekers, or, rather, money-seekers; for it is not a wife that they seek, but only filthy lucre! they violate all their other faculties simply to gratify miserly desire. verily such "have their reward"! . the penitent hour.--and to you, young ladies, let me say with great emphasis, that those who court and marry you because you are rich, will make you rue the day of your pecuniary espousals. they care not for you, but only your money, and when they get that, will be liable to neglect or abuse you, and probably squander it, leaving you destitute and abandoning you to your fate. . industry the sign of nobility.--marry a working, industrious young lady, whose constitution is strong, flesh solid, and health unimpaired by confinement, bad habits, or late hours. give me a plain, home-spun farmer's daughter, and you may have all the rich and fashionable belles of our cities and villages. [illustration: an ill-mated couple.] . wasp waists.--marrying small waists is attended with consequences scarcely less disastrous than marrying { } rich and fashionable girls. an amply developed chest is a sure indication of a naturally vigorous constitution and a strong hold on life; while small waists indicate small and feeble vital organs, a delicate constitution, sickly offspring, and a short life. beware of them, therefore, unless you wish your heart broken by the early death of your wife and children. . marrying talkers.--in marrying a wit or a talker merely, though the brilliant scintillations of the former, or the garrulity of the latter, may amuse or delight you for the time being, yet you will derive no permanent satisfaction from these qualities, for there will be no common bond of kindred feeling to assimilate your souls and hold each spell-bound at the shrine of the other's intellectual or moral excellence. . the second wife.--many men, especially in choosing a second wife, are governed by her own qualifications as a housekeeper mainly, and marry industry and economy. though these traits of character are excellent, yet a good housekeeper may be far from being a good wife. a good housekeeper, but a poor wife, may indeed prepare you a good dinner, and keep her house and children neat and tidy, yet this is but a part of the office of a wife; who, besides all her household duties, has those of a far higher order to perform. she should soothe you with her sympathies, divert your troubled mind, and make the whole family happy by the gentleness of her manners, and the native goodness of her heart. a husband should also likewise do his part. . do not marry a man with a low, flat head; for, however fascinating, genteel, polite, tender, plausible or winning he may be, you will repent the day of your espousal. . healthy wives and mothers.--let girls romp, and let them range hill and dale in search of flowers, berries, or any other object of amusement or attraction; let them bathe often, skip the rope, and take a smart ride on horseback; often interspersing these amusements with a turn of sweeping or washing, in order thereby to develop their vital organs, and thus lay a substantial physical foundation for becoming good wives and mothers. the wildest romps usually make the best wives, while quiet, still, demure, sedate and sedentary girls are not worth having. . small stature.--in passing, i will just remark, that good size is important in wives and mothers. a small stature is objectionable in a woman, because little women { } usually have too much activity for their strength, and, consequently, feeble constitutions; hence they die young, and besides, being nervous, suffer extremely as mothers. . hard times and matrimony.--many persons, particularly young men, refuse to marry, especially "these hard times," because they cannot support a wife in the style they wish. to this i reply, that a good wife will care less for the style in which she is supported, than for you. she will cheerfully conform to your necessities, and be happy with you in a log-cabin. she will even help you support yourself. to support a good wife, even if she have children, is really less expensive than to board alone, besides being one of the surest means of acquiring property. . marrying for a home.--do not, however, marry for a home merely, unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without one; for, it is on the same footing with "marrying for money." marry a man for his merit, and you take no chances. . marry to please no one but yourself.--marriage is a matter exclusively your own; because you alone must abide its consequences. no person, not even a parent, has the least right to interfere or dictate in this matter. i never knew a marriage, made to please another, to turn out any otherwise than most unhappily. . do not marry to please your parents. parents cannot love for their children any more than they can eat or sleep, or breathe, or die and go to heaven for them. they may give wholesome advice merely, but should leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the parties themselves, who mainly are to experience the consequences of their choice. besides, such is human nature, that to oppose lovers, or to speak against the person beloved, only increases their desire and determination to marry. . run-away matches.--many a run-away match would never have taken place but for opposition or interference. parents are mostly to be blamed for these elopements. their children marry partly out of spite and to be contrary. their very natures tell them that this interference is unjust--as it really is--and this excites combativeness, firmness, and self-esteem, in combination with the social faculties, to powerful and even blind resistance--which turmoil of the faculties hastens the match. let the affections of a daughter be once slightly enlisted in your favor, and then let the "old folks" start an opposition, and you may feel sure of your prize. if she did not love you before, she will now, that you are persecuted. { } . disinheritance.--never disinherit, or threaten to disinherit, a child for marrying against your will. if you wish a daughter not to marry a certain man, oppose her, and she will be sure to marry him; so also in reference to a son. . proper training.--the secret is, however, all in a nutshell. let the father properly train his daughter, and she will bring her first love-letter to him, and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable affection, and to nip an improper one in the germ, before it has time to do any harm. . the fatal mistakes of parents.--_there is, however, one way of effectually preventing an improper match, and that is, not to allow your children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should marry. how cruel as well as unjust, to allow a daughter to associate with a young man till the affections of both are riveted, and then forbid her marrying him. forbid all association or consent cheerfully to the marriage._ . an intemperate lover.--do not flatter yourselves, young women, that you can wean even an occasional wine drinker from his cups by love and persuasion. ardent spirit at first, kindles up the fires of love into the fierce flames at burning licentiousness, which burn out every element of love and destroy every vestige of pure affection. it over-excites the passions, and thereby finally destroys it,--producing at first, unbridled libertinism, and then an utter barrenness of love; besides reversing the other faculties of the drinker against his own consort, and those of the wife against her drinking husband. * * * * * first love, desertion and divorce. . first love.--this is the most important direction of all. the first love experiences a tenderness, a purity and unreservedness, an exquisiteness, a devotedness, and a poetry belonging to no subsequent attachment. "love, like life, has no second spring." though a second attachment may be accompanied by high moral feeling, and to a devotedness to the object loved; yet, let love be checked or blighted in its first pure emotion, and the beauty of its spring is irrecoverably withered and lost. this does not mean the simple love of children in the first attachment they call love, but rather the mature intelligent love of those of suitable age. [illustration: considering the question.] { } . free from temptations.--as long as his heart is bound up in its first bundle of love and devotedness--as long as his affections remain reciprocated and uninterrupted--so long temptations cannot take effect. his heart is callous to the charms of others, and the very idea of bestowing his affections upon another is abhorrent. much more so is animal indulgence, which is morally impossible. . second love not constant.--but let this first love be broken off, and the flood-gates of passion are raised. temptations now flow in upon him. he casts a lustful eye upon every passing female, and indulges unchaste imaginations and feelings. although his conscientiousness or intellect may prevent actual indulgence, yet temptations now take effect, and render him liable to err; whereas before they had no power to awaken improper thoughts or feelings. thus many young men find their ruin. . legal marriage.--what would any woman give for merely a nominal or legal husband, just to live with and provide for her, but who entertained not one spark of love for her, or whose affections were bestowed upon another? how absurd, how preposterous the doctrine that the obligations of marriage derive their sacredness from legal enactments and injunctions! how it literally profanes this holy of holies, and drags down this heaven-born institution from its original, divine elevation, to the level of a merely human device. who will dare to advocate the human institution of marriage without the warm heart of a devoted and loving companion! . legislation.--but no human legislation can so guard this institution but that it may be broken in spirit, though, perhaps, acceded to in form; for, it is the heart which this institution requires. there must be true and devoted affection, or marriage is a farce and a failure. . the marriage ceremony and the law governing marriage are for the protection of the individual, yet a man and woman may be married by law and yet unmarried in spirit. the law may tie together, and no marriage be consummated. marriage therefore is divine, and "whom god hath joined together let no man put asunder." a right marriage means a right state of the heart. a careful study of this work will be a great help to both the unmarried and the married. . desertion and divorce.--for a young man to court a young woman, and excite her love till her affections are riveted, and then (from sinister motives, such as, to marry one richer, or more handsome), to leave her, and try { } elsewhere, is the very same crime as to divorce her from all that she holds dear on earth--to root up and pull out her imbedded affections, and to tear her from her rightful husband. first love is always constant. the second love brings uncertainty--too often desertions before marriage and divorces after marriage. . the coquet.--the young woman to play the coquet, and sport with the sincere affections of an honest and devoted young man, is one of the highest crimes that human nature can commit. better murder him in body too, as she does in soul and morals, and it is the result of previous disappointment, never the outcome of a sincere first love. . one marriage. one evidence that second marriages are contrary to the laws of our social nature, is the fact that almost all step-parents and step-children disagree. now, what law has been broken, to induce this penalty? the law of marriage; and this is one of the ways in which the breach punishes itself. it is much more in accordance with our natural feelings, especially those of mothers, that children should be brought up by their own parent. . second marriage.--another proof of this point is, that second marriage is more a matter of business. "i'll give you a home, if you'll take care of my children." "it's a bargain," is the way most second matches are made. there is little of the poetry of first-love, and little of the coyness and shrinking diffidence which characterize the first attachment. still these remarks apply almost equally to a second attachment, as to second marriage. . the conclusion of the whole matter.--let this portion be read and pondered, and also the one entitled, "marry your first love if possible," which assigns the cause, and points out the only remedy, of licentiousness. as long as the main cause of this vice exists, and is aggravated by purse-proud, high-born, aristocratic parents and friends, and even by the virtuous and religious, just so long, and exactly in the same ratio will this blighting sirocco blast the fairest flowers of female innocence and lovliness, and blight our noblest specimens of manliness. no sin of our land is greater. [illustration] { } [illustration: cupid's charm.] * * * * * { } flirting and its dangers. [illustration: how many young girls are ruined.] . no excuse.--in this country there is no excuse for the young man who seeks the society of the loose and the dissolute. there is at all times and everywhere open to him a society of persons of the opposite sex of his own age and of pure thoughts and lives, whose conversation will refine him and drive from his bosom ignoble and impure thoughts. . the dangers.--the young man who may take pleasure in the fact that he is the hero of half a dozen or more { } engagements and love episodes, little realizes that such constant excitement often causes not only dangerously frequent and long-continued nocturnal emissions, but most painful affections of the testicles. those who show too great familiarity with the other sex, who entertain lascivious thoughts, continually exciting the sexual desires, always suffer a weakening of power and sometimes the actual diseases of degeneration, chronic inflammation of the gland, spermatorrhoea, impotence, and the like.--young man, beware; your punishment for trifling with the affections of others may cost you a life of affliction. . remedy.--do not violate the social laws. do not trifle with the affections of your nature. do not give others countless anguish, and also do not run the chances of injuring yourself and others for life. the society of refined and pure women is one of the strongest safeguards a young man can have, and he who seeks it will not only find satisfaction, but happiness. simple friendship and kind affections for each other will ennoble and benefit. . the time for marriage.--when a young man's means permit him to marry, he should then look intelligently for her with whom he expects to pass the remainder of his life in perfect loyalty, and in sincerity and singleness of heart. seek her to whom he is ready to swear to be ever true. . breach of confidence.--nothing is more certain, says dr. naphey, to undermine domestic felicity, and sap the foundation of marital happiness, than marital infidelity. the risks of disease which a married man runs in impure intercourse are far more serious, because they not only involve himself, but his wife and his children. he should know that there is nothing which a woman will not forgive sooner than such a breach of confidence. he is exposed to the plots and is pretty certain sooner or later to fall into the snares of those atrocious parties who subsist on blackmail. and should he escape these complications, he still must lose self-respect, and carry about with him the burden of a guilty conscience and a broken vow. . society rules and customs.--a young man can enjoy the society of ladies without being a "flirt." he can escort ladies to parties, public places of interest, social gatherings, etc., without showing special devotion to any one special young lady. when he finds the choice of his heart, then he will be justified to manifest it, and publicly proclaim it by paying her the compliment, exclusive attention. to keep a lady's company six months is a public announcement of an engagement. * * * * * { } a word to maidens. . no young lady who is not willing to assume the responsibility of a true wife, and be crowned with the sacred diadem of motherhood, should ever think of getting married. we have too many young ladies to-day who despise maternity, who openly vow that they will never be burdened with children, and yet enter matrimony at the first opportunity. what is the result? let echo answer, what? unless a young lady believes that motherhood is noble, is honorable, is divine, and she is willing to carry out that sacred function of her nature, she had a thousand times better refuse every proposal, and enter some honorable occupation and wisely die an old maid by choice. . on the other hand, young lady, never enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until you have conversed with him freely and fully on these relations. learn distinctly his views and feelings and expectations in regard to that purest and most ennobling of all the functions of your nature, and the most sacred of all intimacies of conjugal love. your self-respect, your beauty, your glory, your heaven, as a wife, will be more directly involved in his feelings and views and practices, in regard to that relation, than in all other things. as you would not become a weak, miserable, imbecile, unlovable and degraded wife and mother, in the very prime of your life, come to a perfect understanding with your chosen one, ere you commit your person to his keeping in the sacred intimacies of home. beware of that man who, under pretence of delicacy, modesty, and propriety, shuns conversation with you on this relation, and on the hallowed function of maternity. . talk with your intended frankly and openly. remember, concealment and mystery in him, towards you, on all other subjects pertaining to conjugal union might be overlooked, but if he conceals his views here, rest assured it bodes no good to your purity and happiness as a wife and mother. you can have no more certain assurance that you are to be victimized, your soul and body offered up, _slain_, on the altar of his sensualism, than his unwillingness to converse with you on subjects so vital to your happiness. unless he is willing to hold his manhood in abeyance to the calls of your nature and to your conditions, and consecrate its passions and its powers to the elevation and happiness of his wife and children, your maiden soul had better return to god unadorned with the diadem of conjugal and maternal love than that you should become the wife of such a man and the mother of his children. { } [illustration: roman love making.] * * * * * { } popping the question. [illustration: uniformed men are always popular with the ladies.] . making the declaration.--there are few emergencies in business and few events in life that bring to man the trying ordeal of "proposing to a lady." we should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours of perplexity, embarrassment and hesitation, but unfortunately we cannot pop the question for him, nor give him a formula by which { } he may do it. different circumstances and different surroundings compel every lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing. . bashfulness.--if a young man is very bashful, he should write his sentiments in a clear, frank manner on a neat white sheet of note paper, enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to convey it to the lady's hand. . the answer.--if the beloved one's heart is touched, and she is in sympathy with the lover, the answer should be frankly and unequivocally given. if the negative answer is necessary, it should be done in the kindest and most sympathetic language, yet definite, positive and to the point, and the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit and continue friendly but not familiar. . saying "no" for "yes."--if girls are foolish enough to say "no" when they mean "yes," they must suffer the consequences which often follow. a man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice. it is begging for recognition and lowers his dignity, should he do so. a lady is supposed to know her heart sufficiently to consider the question to her satisfaction before giving an answer. . confusion of words and misunderstanding.--sometimes a man's happiness, has depended on his manner of popping the question. many a time the girl has said "no" because the question was so worded that the affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally; and two lives that gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have been thrown suddenly apart, because the electric keys were not carefully touched. . scriptural declaration.--the church is not the proper place to conduct a courtship, yet the following is suggestive and ingenious. a young gentleman, familiar with the scriptures, happening to sit in a pew adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment, made his proposal in this way: he politely handed his neighbor a bible open, with a pin stuck in the following text: second epistle of john, verse : "and i beseech thee, lady, not as though i wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that we had from the beginning, that we love one another." [illustration: sealing the engagement. from the most celebrated painting in the german department at the world's fair.] she returned it, pointing to the second chapter of ruth, verse : "then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him. why have i found grace in { } thine eyes that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing i am a stranger?" he returned the book, pointing to the th verse of the third epistle of john: "having many things to write unto you, i would not write to you with paper and ink, but trust to come unto you and speak face to face, that your joy may be full." from the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing month in the same church. . how jenny was won. on a sunny summer morning, early as the dew was dry, up the hill i went a berrying; need i tell you--tell you why? farmer davis had a daughter, and it happened that i knew, on each sunny morning, jenny up the hill went berrying too. lonely work is picking berries, so i joined her on the hill: "jenny, dear," said i, "your basket's quite too large for one to fill." so we stayed--we two--to fill it, jenny talking--i was still.-- leading where the hill was steepest, picking berries up the hill. "this is up-hill work," said jenny; "so is life," said i; "shall we climb it each alone, or, jenny, will you come and climb with me?" redder than the blushing berries jenny's cheek a moment grew, while without delay she answered, "i will come and climb with you." { } . a romantic way for proposing.--in peru they have a romantic way of popping the question. the suitor appears on the appointed evening, with a gaily dressed troubadour, under the balcony of his beloved. the singer steps before her flower-bedecked window, and sings her beauties in the name of her lover. he compares her size to that of a pear-tree, her lips to two blushing rose-buds, and her womanly form to that of a dove. with assumed harshness the lady asks her lover: "who are you, and what do you want?" he answers with ardent confidence: "thy love i do adore, the stars live in the harmony of love, and why should not we, too, love each other?" then the proud beauty gives herself away: she takes her flower-wreath from her hair and throws it down to her lover, promising to be his forever. [illustration: a peruvian beauty.] * * * * * { } the wedding. [illustration: the bride.] . the proper time.--much has been printed in various volumes regarding the time of the year, the influence of the seasons, etc., as determining the proper time to set for the wedding day. circumstances must govern these things. to be sure, it is best to avoid extremes of heat and cold. very hot weather is debilitating, and below zero is uncomfortable. . the lady should select the day.--there is one element in the time that is of great importance, physically, especially to the lady. it is the day of the month, and it is hoped that every lady who contemplates marriage is informed upon the great facts of ovulation. by reading page { } she will understand that it is to her advantage to select a wedding day about fifteen or eighteen days after the close of menstruation in the month chosen, since it is not best that the first child should be conceived during the excitement or irritation of first attempts at congress; besides modest brides naturally do not wish to become large with child before the season of congratulation and visiting on their return from the "wedding tour" is over. again, it is asserted by many of the best writers on this subject, that the mental condition of either parent at the time of intercourse will be stamped upon the embryo; hence it is not only best, but wise, that the first-born should not be conceived until several months after marriage, when the husband and wife have nicely settled in their new home, and become calm in their experience of each other's society. . the "bridal tour" is considered by many newly-married couples as a necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy. there is, in our opinion, nothing in the custom to recommend it. after the excitement and overwork before and accompanying a wedding, the period immediately following should be one of _rest_. again, the money expended on the ceremony and a tour of the principal cities, etc., might, in most cases, be applied to a multitude of after-life comforts of far more lasting value and importance. to be sure, it is not pleasant for the bride, should she remain at home, to pass through the ordeal of criticism and vulgar comments of acquaintances and friends, and hence, to escape this, the young couple feel like getting away for a time. undoubtedly the best plan for the great majority, after this most eventful ceremony, is to enter their future home at once, and there to remain in comparative privacy until the novelty of the situation is worn off. . if the conventional tour is taken, the husband should remember that his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and sight-seeing that he can. the female organs of generation are so easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support them, that at this critical period it would be a foolish and costly experience to drag a lady hurriedly around the country on an extensive and protracted round of sight-seeing or visiting. unless good common-sense is displayed in the manner of spending the "honey-moon," it will prove very untrue to its name. in many cases it lays the foundation for the wife's first and life-long "backache." * * * * * { } advice to newly married couples. [illustration: the honey-moon.] . "be ye fruitful and multiply" is a bible commandment which the children of men habitually obey. however they may disagree on other subjects, all are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the high, the low, the fierce, the gentle--all unite in the desire which finds its accomplishment in the reproduction of their kind. who { } shall quarrel with the divinely implanted instinct, or declare it to be vulgar or unmentionable? it is during the period of the honeymoon that the intensity of this desire, coupled with the greatest curiosity, is at its height, and the unbridled license often given the passions at this time is attended with the most dangerous consequences. . consummation of marriage.--the first time that the husband and wife cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the consummation of marriage. many grave errors have been committed by people in this, when one or both of the contracting parties were not physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage relation. a marriage, however, is complete without this in the eyes of the law, as it is a maxim taken from the roman civil statutes that consent, not cohabitation, is the binding element in the ceremony. yet, in most states of the u.s., and in some other countries; marriage is legally declared void and of no effect where it is not possible to consummate the marriage relation. a divorce may be obtained provided the injured party begins the suit. . test of virginity.--the consummation of marriage with a virgin is not necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity. the true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable familiarity. a sincere christian faith is one of the best recommendations. . let every man remember that the legal right of marriage does not carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion he has chosen. ignorance may be the cause, but every man before he marries should know something of the physiology and the laws of health, and we here give some information which is of very great importance to every newly-married man. . sensuality.--lust crucifies love. the young sensual husband is generally at fault. passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is nor thought of, and so a modest young wife is often actually forced and assaulted by the unsympathetic haste of her husband. an amorous man in that way soon destroys his own love, and thus is laid the foundation for many difficulties that soon develop trouble and disturb the happiness of both. . abuse after marriage.--usually marriage is consummated within a day or two after the ceremony, but this is { } gross injustice to the bride. in most cases she is nervous, timid, and exhausted by the duties of preparation for the wedding, and in no way in a condition, either in body or mind, for the vital change which the married relation bring upon her. many a young husband often lays the foundation of many diseases of the womb and of the nervous system in gratifying his unchecked passions without a proper regard for his wife's exhausted condition. . the first conjugal approaches are usually painful to the new wife, and no enjoyment to her follows. great caution and kindness should be exercised. a young couple rushing together in their animal passion soon produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings apathy, indifference, if not dislike. true love and a high regard for each other will temper passion into moderation. . were the above injunctions heeded fully and literally it would be folly to say more, but this would be omitting all account of the bridegroom's new position, the power of his passion, and the timidity of the fair creature who is wondering what fate has in store for her trembling modesty. to be sure, there are some women who are possessed of more forward natures and stronger desires than others. in such cases there may be less trouble. . a common error.--the young husband may have read in some treatise on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be overcome. he is apt to conclude that this is all, that some force will be needed to break it down, and that therefore an amount of urgency even to the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable. this is usually wrong. it rarely constitutes any obstruction, and, even when its rupturing may be necessary, it alone seldom causes suffering. there are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina, but no woman should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted. we quote from dr. c. a. huff the following: . "what is it, then, that usually causes distress to many women, whether a bride or a long-time wife?" the answer is, simply those conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared, by anticipation and desire, to receive a foreign body. the modest one craves only refined and platonic love at first, and if husbands, new and old, would only realize this plain truth, wife-torturing would cease and the happiness of each one of all human pairs vastly increase. { } . the conditions of the female organs depend upon the state of the mind just as much as in the case of the husband. the male, however, being more sensual, is more quickly roused. she is far less often or early ready. in its unexcited state the vagina is lax, its walls are closed together, and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating secretion. the chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and roughly invaded. this, then, is the time for all approaches by the husband to be of the most delicate, considerate, and refined description possible. the quietest and softest demeanor, with gentle and re-assuring words, are all that should be attempted at first. the wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and it is foolish to go farther. . for more than one night it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. how long should this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of any case. the bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with full deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality is not exhibited. her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is of a refined character; if the love and conduct offered to her are a careful effort to adapt roughness and strength to her refinement and weakness, her admiration and responsive love will be excited to the utmost. . when that moment arrives when the bride finds she can repose perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is not purely animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power of her affection for him will surely assert itself; the mind will act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of her being, the walls of the vagina will expand, and the glands at the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucous which renders congress a matter of comparative ease. . when this responsive enlargement and lubrication are fully realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first and subsequent coition is, as it has been justly called, nothing but "legalized rape." young husband! prove your manhood, not by yielding to unbridled lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in _self-control_ and patience with the helpless being confided to your care! prolong the delightful season of courting into and _through_ wedded life, and rich shall be your reward. { } . a want of desire may often prevail, and may be caused by loss of sleep, study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety, self-abuse, excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. overwork may cause debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it may not be a sign of debility, sexual lethargy or impotence. get the mind and the physical constitution in proper condition, and most all these difficulties will disappear. good athletic exercise by walking, riding, or playing croquet, or any other amusement, will greatly improve the condition. a good rest, however, will be necessary to fully restore the mind and the body, then the natural condition of the sexual organs will be resumed. . having twins.--having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and descends from generation to generation, and persons who have twins are generally those who have great sexual vigor. it is generally the result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first, but some parents have twins who cohabit but once during several days. . proper intercourse.--the right relation of a newly-married couple will rather increase than diminish love. to thus offer up the maiden on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy and bliss; whereas, on the other hand, sensuality humbles, debases, pollutes, and never elevates. young husbands should wait for an _invitation to the banquet_, and they will be amply paid by the very pleasure sought. invitation or permission delights, and possession by force degrades. the right-minded bridegroom will postpone the exercise of his nuptial rights for a few days, and allow his young wife to become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the wedding, and become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of life. . rightly beginning sexual life.--intercourse promotes all the functions of the body and mind, but rampant lust and sexual abuses soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness will be the result. remember that _intercourse_ should not become the polluted purpose of marriage. to be sure, rational enjoyment benefits and stimulates love, but the pleasure of each other's society, standing together on all questions of mutual benefit, working hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life, raising a family of beautiful children, sharing each other's joys and sorrows, are the things that bring to every couple the best, purest, and noblest enjoyment that god has bestowed upon man. { } [illustration: a turkish harem.] sexual proprieties and improprieties. . to have offspring is not to be regarded as a luxury, but as a great primary necessity of health and happiness, of which every fully-developed man and woman should have a fair share, while it cannot be denied that the ignorance of the necessity of sexual intercourse to the health and virtue of both man and woman is the most fundamental error in medical and moral philosophy. . in a state of pure nature, where man would have his sexual instincts under full and natural restraint, there would be little, if any, licentiousness, and children would be the result of natural desire, and not the accidents of lust. . this is an age of sensuality; unnatural passions are cultivated and indulged. young people in the course of their engagement often sow the seed of serious excesses. this habit of embracing, sitting on the lover's lap, leaning on his breast, long and uninterrupted periods of secluded companionship, have become so common that it is amazing how a young lady can safely arrive at the wedding day. while this conduct may safely terminate with the wedding day, yet it cultivates the tendency which often results in excessive indulgencies after the honey-moon is over. . separate beds.--many writers have vigorously championed as a reform the practice of separate beds for husband and wife. while we would not recommend such separation, it is no doubt very much better for both husband and wife, in case the wife is pregnant. where people are reasonably temperate, no such ordinary precautions as { } separate sleeping places may be necessary. but in case of pregnancy it will add rest to the mother and add vigor to the unborn child. sleeping together, however, is natural and cultivates true affection, and it is physiologically true that in very cold weather life is prolonged by husband and wife sleeping together. . the authority of the wife.--let the wife judge whether she desires a separate couch or not. she has the superior right to control her own person. in such diseases as consumption, or other severe or lingering diseases, separate beds should always be insisted upon. . the time for indulgence.--the health of the generative functions depends upon exercise, just the same as any other vital organ. intercourse should be absolutely avoided just before or after meals, or just after mental excitement or physical exercise. no wife should indulge her husband when he is under the influence of alcoholic stimulants, for idiocy and other serious maladies are liable to be visited upon the offspring. . restraint during pregnancy.--there is no question but what moderate indulgence during the first few months of pregnancy does not result in serious harm; but people who excessively satisfy their ill-governed passions are liable to pay a serious penalty. . miscarriage.--if a woman is liable to abortion or miscarriage, absolute abstinence is the only remedy. no sexual indulgence during pregnancy can be safely tolerated. . it is better for people not to marry until they are of proper age. it is a physiological fact that men seldom reach the full maturity of their virile power before the age of twenty-five, and the female rarely attains the full vigor of her sexual powers before the age of twenty. . illicit pleasures.--the indulgence of illicit pleasures, says dr. s. pancoast, sooner or later is sure to entail the most loathsome diseases on their votaries. among these diseases are gonorrhoea, syphilis, spermatorrhoea (waste of semen by daily and nightly involuntary emissions), satyriasis (a species of sexual madness, or a sexual diabolism, causing men to commit rape and other beastly acts and outrages, not only on women and children, but men and animals, as sodomy, pederasty, etc.), nymphomania (causing women to assail every man they meet, and supplicate and excite him to gratify their lustful passions, or who resort to means of sexual pollutions, which is impossible to describe without shuddering), together with spinal diseases and many disorders of the most distressing and disgusting character, { } filling the bones with rottenness, and eating away the flesh by gangrenous ulcers, until the patient dies, a horrible mass of putridity and corruption. . sensuality.--sensuality is not love, but an unbridled desire which kills the soul. sensuality will drive away the roses in the cheeks of womanhood, undermine health and produce a brazen countenance that can be read by all men. the harlot may commit her sins in the dark, but her countenance reveals her character and her immorality is an open secret. . sexual temperance.--all excesses and absurdities of every kind should be carefully avoided. many of the female disorders which often revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasure are largely due to the excessive practice of sexual indulgence. . frequency.--some writers claim that intercourse should never occur except for the purpose of childbearing; but such restraint is not natural and consequently not conducive to health. there are many conditions in which the health of the mother and offspring must be respected. it is now held that it is nearer a crime than a virtue to prostitute woman to the degradation of breeding animals by compelling her to bring into life more offspring than can be born healthy, or be properly cared for and educated. . in this work we shall attempt to specify no rule, but simply give advice as to the health and happiness of both man and wife. a man should not gratify his own desires at the expense of his wife's health, comfort or inclination. many men no doubt harass their wives and force many burdens upon their slender constitutions. but it is a great sin and no true husband will demand unreasonable recognition. the wife when physically able, however, should bear with her husband. man is naturally sensitive on this subject, and it takes but little to alienate his affections and bring discord into the family. . the best writers lay down the rule for the government of the marriage-bed, that sexual indulgence should only occur about once in a week or ten days, and this of course applies only to those who enjoy a fair degree of health. but it is a hygienic and physiological fact that those who indulge only once a month receive a far greater degree of the intensity of enjoyment than those who indulge their passions more frequently. much pleasure is lost by excesses where much might be gained by temperance, giving rest to the organs for the accumulation of nervous force. { } [illustration] how to perpetuate the honey-moon. . continue your courtship.--like causes produce like effects. . neglect of your companion.--do not assume a right to neglect your companion more after marriage than you did before. . secrets.--have no secrets that you keep from your companion. a third party is always disturbing. . avoid the appearance of evil.--in matrimonial matters it is often that the mere appearance contains all the evil. love, as soon as it rises above calculation and becomes love, is exacting. it gives all, and demands all. . once married, never open your mind to any change.--if you keep the door of your purpose closed, evil or even desirable changes cannot make headway without help. . keep step in mental development.--a tree that grows for forty years may take all the sunlight from a tree that stops growing at twenty. . keep a lively interest in the business of the home.--two that do not pull together are weaker than either alone. . gauge your expenses by your revenues.--love must eat. the sheriff often levies on cupid long before he takes away the old furniture. . start from where your parents started rather than from where they now are.--hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too strong temptation, while the quietness of a humble home would cement the hearts beyond risk. { } . avoid debt.--spend your own money, but earn it first, then it will not be necessary to blame any one for spending other people's. . do not both get angry at the same time.--remember, it takes two to quarrel. . do not allow yourself ever to come to an open rupture.--things unsaid need less repentance. . study to conform your tastes and habits to the tastes and habits of your companion.--if two walk together, they must agree. * * * * * how to be a good wife. . reverence your husband.--he sustains by god's order a position of dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. any breaking down of this order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from duty. . love him.--a wife loves as naturally as the sun shines. love is your best weapon. you conquered him with that in the first place. you can reconquer by the same means. . do not conceal your love from him.--if he is crowded with care, and too busy to seem to heed your love, you need to give all the greater attention to securing his knowledge of your love. if you intermit he will settle down into a hard, cold life with increased rapidity. your example will keep the light on his conviction. the more he neglects the fire on the hearth, the more carefully must you feed and guard it. it must not be allowed to go out. once out you must sit ever in darkness and in the cold. . cultivate the modesty and delicacy of your youth.--the relations and familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive and retiring instincts of girlhood, but nothing can compensate for the loss of these. however, much men may admire the public performance of gifted women, they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife. the holy blush of a maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and governing a home than the heaviest armament that ever a warrior bore. . cultivate personal attractiveness.--this means the storing of your mind with a knowledge of passing events, and with a good idea of the world's general advance. if you read nothing, and make no effort to make yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of stupidity. if { } your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom, or of common information, he will soon hear nothing from you. dress and gossips soon wear out. if your memory is weak, so that it hardly seems worth while to read, that is additional reason for reading. [illustration: talking before marriage.] . cultivate physical attractiveness.--when you were encouraging the attentions of him whom you now call husband, you did not neglect any item of dress or appearance { } that could help you. your hair was always in perfect training. you never greeted him with a ragged or untidy dress or soiled hands. it is true that your "market is made," but you cannot afford to have it "broken." cleanliness and good taste will attract now as they did formerly. keep yourself at your best. make the most of physical endowments. neatness and order break the power of poverty. . study your husband's character.--he has his peculiarities. he has no right to many of them, and you need to know them; thus you can avoid many hours of friction. the good pilot steers around the sunken rocks that lie in the channel. the engineer may remove them, not the pilot. you are more pilot than engineer. consult his tastes. it is more important to your home, that you should please him than anybody else. . practice economy.--many families are cast out of peace into grumbling and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty. when there are no great distresses to be endured or accounted for, complaint and fault-finding are not so often evoked. keep your husband free from the annoyance of disappointed creditors, and he will be more apt to keep free from annoying you. to toil hard for bread, to fight the wolf from the door, to resist impatient creditors, to struggle against complaining pride at home, is too much to ask of one man. a crust that is your own is a feast, while a feast that is purloined from unwilling creditors is a famine. * * * * * how to be a good husband. . show your love.--all life manifests itself. as certainly as a live tree will put forth leaves in the spring, so certainly will a living love show itself. many a noble man toils early and late to earn bread and position for his wife. he hesitates at no weariness for her sake. he justly thinks that such industry and providence give a better expression of his love than he could by caressing her and letting the grocery bills go unpaid. he fills the cellar and pantry. he drives and pushes his business. he never dreams that he is actually starving his wife to death. he may soon have a woman left to superintend his home, but his wife is dying. she must be kept alive by the same process that called her into being. recall and repeat the little attentions and delicate compliments that once made you so agreeable, and that fanned her love into a consuming flame. it is not beneath the dignity of the skillful physician to study all the { } little symptoms, and order all the little round of attentions that check the waste of strength and brace the staggering constitution. it is good work for a husband to cherish his wife. [illustration: talking after marriage.] . consult with your wife.--she is apt to be as right as you are, and frequently able to add much to your stock of wisdom. in any event she appreciates your attentions. . study to keep her young.--it can be done. it is not work, but worry, that wears. keep a brave, true heart between her and all harm. . help to bear her burdens.--bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of love. love seeks opportunities to do for the loved object. she has the constant care of your children. she is ordained by the lord to stand guard over them. not a disease can appear in the community without her taking the alarm. not a disease can come over the threshold without her instantly springing into the mortal combat. if there is a deficiency anywhere, it comes out of her pleasure. her burdens are everywhere. look for them, that you may lighten them. . make yourself helpful by thoughtfulness.--remember to bring into the house your best smile and sunshine. it is good for you, and it cheers up the home. there is hardly a nook in the house that has not been carefully hunted through to drive out everything that might annoy you. the dinner which suits, or ought to suit you, has not come on the table of itself. it represents much thoughtfulness and work. you can do no more manly thing than find some way of expressing, in word or look, your appreciation of it. . express your will, not by commands, but by suggestions.--it is god's order that you should be the head of the family. you are clothed with authority. but this does not authorize you to be stern and harsh, as an officer in the army. your authority is the dignity of love. when it is not clothed in love it ceases to have the substance of authority. a simple suggestion that may embody a wish, an opinion or an argument, becomes one who reigns over such a kingdom as yours. . seek to refine your nature.--it is no slander to say that many men have wives much more refined than themselves. this is natural in the inequalities of life. other qualities may compensate for any defect here. but you need have no defect in refinement. preserve the gentleness and refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your children, and in so doing you will lift yourself to higher levels. { } . be a gentleman as well as a husband.--the signs and bronze and callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman. the soul of gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others, that prompts one to secure their comfort. that is why the thoughtful peasant lover is always so gentlemanly, and in his love much above himself. . stay at home.--habitual absence during the evenings is sure to bring sorrow. if your duty or business calls you, you have the promise that you will be kept in all your ways. but if you go out to mingle with other society, and leave your wife at home alone, or with the children and servants, know that there is no good in store for you. she has claims upon you that you can not afford to allow to go to protest. reverse the case. you sit down alone after having waited all day for your wife's return, and think of her as reveling in gay society, and see if you can keep out all the doubts as to what takes her away. if your home is not as attractive as you want it, you are a principal partner. set yourself about the work of making it attractive. . take your wife with you into society.--seclusion begets morbidness. she needs some of the life that comes from contact with society. she must see how other people appear and act. it often requires an exertion for her to go out of her home, but it is good for her and for you. she will bring back more sunshine. it is wise to rest sometimes. when the arab stops for his dinner he unpacks his camel. treat your wife with as much consideration. [illustration] { } cause of family troubles. [illustration: tired of life.] . much better to be alone.--he who made man said it is not good for him to be alone; but it is much better to be alone, than it is to be in some kinds of company. many couples who felt unhappy when they were apart, have been utterly miserable when together; and scores who have been ready to go through fire and water to get married, have been willing to run the risk of fire and brimstone to get divorced. it is by no means certain that because persons are wretched before marriage they will be happy after it. the wretchedness of many homes, and the prevalence of immorality and divorce is a sad commentary on the evils which result from unwise marriages. . unavoidable evils.--there are plenty of unavoidable evils in this world, and it is mournful to think of the multitudes who are preparing themselves for needless disappointments, and who yet have no fear, and are unwilling to be instructed, cautioned or warned. to them the experience of mature life is of little account compared with the wisdom of ardent and enthusiastic youth. . matrimonial infelicity.--one great cause of matrimonial infelicity is the hasty marriages of persons who have no adequate knowledge of each other's characters. two strangers become acquainted, and are attracted to each other, and without taking half the trouble to investigate or inquire that a prudent man would take before buying a saddle horse, they are married. in a few weeks or months it is perhaps found that one of the parties was married already, or possibly that the man is drunken or vicious, or the woman anything but what she should be. then begins the bitter part of the experience: shame, disgrace, scandal, separation, sin and divorce, all come as the natural results of a rash and foolish marriage. a little time spent in honest, candid, and careful preliminary inquiry and investigation, would have saved the trouble. . the climax.--it has been said that a man is never utterly ruined until he has married a bad woman. so the climax of woman's miseries and sorrows may be said to come only when she is bound with that bond which should be her chiefest blessing and her highest joy, but which may prove her deepest sorrow and her bitterest curse. . the folly of follies.--there are some lessons which people are very slow to learn, and yet which are based upon { } the simple principles of common-sense. a young lady casts her eye upon a young man. she says, "i mean to have that man." she plies her arts, engages his affections, marries him, and secures for herself a life of sorrow and disappointment, ending perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave. any prudent, intelligent person of mature age, might have warned or cautioned her; but she sought no advice, and accepted no admonition. a young man may pursue a similar course with equally disastrous results. . hap-hazard.--many marriages are undoubtedly arranged by what may be termed the accident of locality. persons live near each other, become acquainted, and engage themselves to those whom they never would have selected as their companions in life if they had wider opportunities of acquaintance. within the borders of their limited circle they make a selection which may be wise or may be unwise. they have no means of judging, they allow no one else to judge for them. the results are sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy in the extreme. it is well to act cautiously in doing what can be done but once. it is not a pleasant experience for a person to find out a mistake when it is too late to rectify it. . we all change.--when two persons of opposite sex are often thrown together they are very naturally attracted to each other, and are liable to imbibe the opinion that they are better fitted for life-long companionship than any other two persons in the world. this may be the case, or it may not be. there are a thousand chances against such a conclusion to one in favor of it. but even if at the present moment these two persons were fitted to be associated, no one can tell whether the case will be the same five or ten years hence. men change; women change; they are not the same they were ten years ago; they are not the same they will be ten years hence. . the safe rule.--do not be in a hurry; take your time, and consider well before you allow your devotion to rule you. study first your character, then study the character of her whom you desire to marry. love works mysteriously, and if it will bear careful and cool investigation, it will no doubt thrive under adversity. when people marry they unite their destinies for the better or the worse. marriage is a contract for life and will never bear a hasty conclusion. _never be in a hurry!_ * * * * * { } jealousy--its cause and cure. * * * * * trifles, light as air are to the jealous confirmations strong, as proofs of holy writ.--shakespeare. nor jealousy was understood, the injur'd lover's hell.--milton. o, beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.--shakespeare. * * * * * . definition.--jealousy is an accidental passion, for which the faculty indeed is unborn. in its nobler form and in its nobler motives it arises from love, and in its lower form it arises from the deepest and darkest pit of satan. . how developed.--jealousy arises either from weakness, which from a sense of its own want of lovable qualities is not convinced of being sure of its cause, or from distrust, which thinks the beloved person capable of infidelity. sometimes all these motives may act together. . noblest jealousy.--the noblest jealousy, if the term noble is appropriate, is a sort of ambition or pride of the loving person who feels it is an insult that another one should assume it as possible to supplant his love, or it is the highest degree of devotion which sees a declaration of its object in the foreign invasion, as it were, of his own altar. jealousy is always a sign that a little more wisdom might adorn the individual without harm. . the lowest jealousy.--the lowest species of jealousy is a sort of avarice of envy which, without being capable of love, at least wishes to possess the object of its jealousy alone by the one party assuming a sort of property right over the other. this jealousy, which might be called the satanic, is generally to be found with old withered "husbands," whom the devil has prompted to marry young women and who forthwith dream night and day of cuck-old's horns. these argus-eyed keepers are no longer capable of any feeling that could be called love, they are rather as a rule heartless house-tyrants, and are in constant dread that some one may admire or appreciate his unfortunate slave. . want of love.--the general conclusion will be that jealousy is more the result of wrong conditions which cause uncongenial unions, and which through moral corruption, artificially create distrust, than a necessary accompaniment of love. [illustration: seeking the life of a rival.] { } . result of poor opinion.--jealousy is a passion with which those are most afflicted who are the least worthy of love. an innocent maiden who enters marriage will not dream of getting jealous; but all her innocence cannot secure her against the jealousy of her husband if he has been a libertine. those are wont to be the most jealous who have the consciousness that they themselves are most deserving of jealousy. most men in consequence of their present education and corruption have so poor an opinion not only of the male, but even of the female sex, that they believe every woman at every moment capable of what they themselves have looked for among all and have found among the most unfortunate, the prostitutes. no libertine can believe in the purity of woman; it is contrary to nature. a libertine therefore cannot believe in the loyalty of a faithful wife. . when justifiable.--there may be occasions where jealousy is justifiable. if a woman's confidence has been shaken in her husband, or a husband's confidence has been shaken in his wife by certain signs or conduct, which have no other meaning but that of infidelity, then there is just cause for jealousy. there must, however, be certain proof as evidence of the wife's or husband's immoral conduct. imaginations or any foolish absurdities should have no consideration whatever, and let everyone have confidence until his or her faith has been shaken by the revelation of absolute facts. . caution and advice.--no couple should allow their associations to develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any inclination to jealousy. it shows invariably a want of sufficient confidence, and that want of confidence, instead of being diminished after marriage, is liable to increase, until by the aid of the imagination and wrong interpretation the home is made a hell and divorce a necessity. let it be remembered, there can be no true love without perfect and absolute confidence. jealousy is always the sign of weakness or madness. avoid a jealous disposition, for it is an open acknowledgment of a lack of faith. [illustration] { } the improvement of offspring. * * * * * why bring into the world idiots, fools, criminals and lunatics? [illustration: the mother's good night prayer.] . the right way.--when mankind will properly love and marry and then rightly generate, carry, nurse and educate their children, will they in deed and in truth carry out { } the holy and happy purpose of their creator. see those miserable and depraved scape-goats of humanity, the demented simpletons, the half-crazy, unbalanced multitudes which infest our earth, and fill our prisons with criminals and our poor-houses with paupers. oh! the boundless capabilities and perfections of our god-like nature and, alas! its deformities! all is the result of the ignorance or indifference of parents. as long as children are the accidents of lust instead of the premeditated objects of love, so long will the offspring deteriorate and the world be cursed with deformities, monstrosities, unhumanities and cranks. . each after its kind.--"like parents like children." "in their own image beget" they them. in what other can they? "how can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit?" how can animal propensities in parents generate other than depraved children, or moral purity beget beings other than as holy by nature as those at whose hands they received existence and constitution? . as are the parents, physically, mentally and morally when they stamp their own image and likeness upon progeny, so will be the constitution of that progeny. . "just as the twig is bent the tree's inclined."--yet the bramble cannot be bent to bear delicious peaches, nor the sycamore to bear grain. education is something, but _parentage_ is _everything_; because it "_dyes in the wool_," and thereby exerts an influence on character almost infinitely more powerful than all other conditions put together. . healthy and beautiful children.--thoughtless mortal! before you allow the first goings forth of love, learn what the parental conditions in you mean, and you will confer a great boon upon the prospective bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh! if it is in your power to be the parent of beautiful, healthy, moral and talented children instead of diseased and depraved, is it not your imperious duty then, to impart to them that physical power, moral perfection, and intellectual capability, which shall ennoble their lives and make them good people and good citizens? . pause and tremble.--prospective parents! will you trifle with the dearest interests of your children? will you in matters thus momentous, head-long rush "where angels dare not tread?" seeking only mere animal indulgence?--well might cherubim shrink from assuming responsibilities thus momentous! yet, how many parents tread this holy ground completely unprepared, and almost as thoughtlessly and ignorantly as brutes--entailing even loathsome diseases and { } sensual propensities upon the fruit of their own bodies. whereas they are bound, by obligations the most imperious, to bestow on them a good physical organization, along with a pure, moral, and strong intellectual constitution, or else not to become parents! especially since it is easier to generate human angels than devils incarnate. . hereditary descent.--this great law of things, "hereditary descent," fully proves and illustrates in any required number and variety of cases, showing that progeny inherits the constitutional natures and characters, mental and physical, of parents, including pre-dispositions to consumption, insanity, all sorts of disease, etc., as well as longevity, strength, stature, looks, disposition, talents,--all that is constitutional. from what other source do or can they come? indeed, who can doubt a truth as palpable as that children inherit some, and if some, therefore all, the physical and mental nature and constitution of parents, thus becoming almost their fac-similes? . illustrations.--a whaleman was severely hurt by a harpooned and desperate whale turning upon the small boat, and, by his monstrous jaws, smashing it to pieces, one of which, striking him in his right side, crippled him for life. when sufficiently recovered, he married, according to previous engagement, and his daughter, born in due time, and closely resembling him in looks, constitution and character, has a weak and sore place corresponding in location with that of the injury of her father. tubercles have been found in the lungs of infants at birth, born of consumptive parents,--a proof, clear and demonstrative, that children inherit the several states of parental physiology existing at the time they received their physiological constitution. the same is true of the transmission of those diseases consequent on the violation of the law of chastity, and the same conclusion established thereby. . parent's participation.--each parent furnishing an indispensable portion of the materials of life, and somehow or other, contributes parentally to the formation of the constitutional character of their joint product, appears far more reasonable, than to ascribe, as many do, the whole to either, some to paternity, others to maternity. still this decision go which way it may, does not affect the great fact that children inherit both the physiology and the mentality existing in parents at the time they received being and constitution. . illegitimates or bastards also furnish strong proof of the correctness of this our leading doctrine. they are generally lively, sprightly, witty, frolicsome, knowing, { } quick of perception, apt to learn, full of passion, quick-tempered, impulsive throughout, hasty, indiscreet, given to excesses, yet abound in good feeling, and are well calculated to enjoy life, though in general sadly deficient in some essential moral elements. . character of illegitimates.--wherein, then, consists this difference? first, in "novelty lending an enchantment" rarely experienced in sated wedlock, as well as in power of passion sufficient to break through all restraint, external and internal; and hence their high wrought organization. they are usually wary and on the alert, and their parents drank "stolen waters." they are commonly wanting in moral balance, or else delinquent in some important moral aspect; nor would they have ever been born unless this had been the case, for the time being at least, with their parents. behold in these, and many other respects easily cited, how striking the coincidence between their characters on the one hand, and, on the other, those parental conditions necessarily attendant on their origin. . children's condition depends upon parents' condition at the time of the sexual embrace. let parents recall, as nearly as may be their circumstances and states of body and mind at this period, and place them by the side of the physical and mental constitutions of their children, and then say whether this law is not a great practical truth, and if so, its importance is as the happiness and misery it is capable of affecting! the application of this mighty engine of good or evil to mankind, to the promotion of human advancement, is the great question which should profoundly interest all parents. . the vital period.--the physical condition of parents at the vital period of transmission of life should be a perfect condition of health in both body and mind, and a rigorous condition of all the animal organs and functions. . muscular preparation.--especially should parents cultivate their muscular system preparatory to the perfection of this function, and of their children; because, to impart strength and stamina to offspring they must of necessity both possess a good muscular organization, and also bring it into vigorous requisition at this period. for this reason, if for no other, let those of sedentary habits cultivate muscular energy preparatory to this time of need. . the seed.--so exceedingly delicate are the seeds of life, that, unless planted in a place of perfect security, they must all be destroyed, and our race itself extinguished. and what place is as secure as that chosen, where they can { } be reached only with the utmost difficulty, and than only at the peril of even life itself? imperfect seed sown in poor ground means a sickly harvest. . healthy people--most children.--the most healthy classes have the most numerous families; but that, as luxury enervates society, it diminishes the population, by enfeebling parents, nature preferring none rather than those too weakly to live and be happy, and thereby rendering that union unfruitful which is too feeble to produce offspring sufficiently strong to enjoy life. debility and disease often cause barrenness. nature seems to rebel against sickly offspring. . why children die.--inquire whether one or both the parents of those numerous children that die around us, have not weak lungs, or a debilitated stomach, or a diseased liver, or feeble muscles, or else use them but little, or disordered nerves, or some other debility or form of disease. the prevalence of summer complaints, colic, cholera infantum, and other affections of these vital organs of children is truly alarming, sweeping them into their graves by the million. shall other animals rear nearly all their young, and shall man, constitutionally by far the strongest of them all, lose half or more of his? is this the order of nature? no, but their death-worm is born in and with them, and by parental agency. . grave-yard statistics.--take grave-yard statistics in august, and then say, whether most of the deaths of children are not caused by indigestion, or feebleness of the bowels, liver, etc., or complaints growing out of them? rather, take family statistics from broken-hearted parents! and yet, in general, those very parents who thus suffer more than words can tell, were the first and main transgressors, because they entailed those dyspeptic, heart, and other kindred affections so common among american parents upon their own children, and thereby almost as bad as killed them by inches; thus depriving them of the joys of life, and themselves of their greatest earthly treasure! . all children may die.--children may indeed die whose parents are healthy, but they almost must whose parents are essentially ailing in one or more of their vital organs; because, since they inherit this organ debilitated or diseased, any additional cause of sickness attacks this part first, and when it gives out, all go by the board together. . parents must learn and obey.--how infinitely more virtuous and happy would your children be if you should be healthy in body, and happy in mind, so as to beget in { } them a constitutionally healthy and vigorous physiology, along with a serene and happy frame of mind! words are utterly powerless in answer, and so is everything but a lifetime of consequent happiness or misery! learn and obey, then, the laws of life and health, that you may both reap the rich reward yourself, and also shower down upon your children after you, blessings many and most exalted. avoid excesses of all kinds, be temperate, take good care of the body and avoid exposures and disease, and your children will be models of health and beauty. . the right condition.--the great practical inference is, that those parents who desire intellectual and moral children, must love each other; because, this love, besides perpetually calling forth and cultivating their higher faculties, awakens them to the highest pitch of exalted action in that climax, concentration, and consummation of love which propagates their existing qualities, the mental endowment of offspring being proportionate to the purity and intensity of parental love. . the effects.--the children of affectionate parents receive existence and constitution when love has rendered the mentality of their parents both more elevated and more active than it is by nature, of course the children of loving parents are both more intellectual and moral by nature than their parents. now, if these children and their companions also love one another, this same law which renders the second generation better than the first, will of course render the third still better than the second, and thus of all succeeding generations. . animal impulse.--you may preach and pray till doomsday--may send out missionaries, may circulate tracts and bibles, and multiply revivals and all the means of grace, with little avail; because, as long as mankind go on, as now, to propagate by animal impulse, so long must their offspring be animal, sensual, devilish! but only induce parents cordially to love each other, and you thereby render their children constitutionally talented and virtuous. oh! parents, by as much as you prefer the luxuries of concord to the torments of discord, and children that are sweet dispositioned and highly intellectual to those that are rough, wrathful, and depraved, be entreated to "_love one another_." [illustration] * * * * * { } too many children. [illustration: just home from school.] . lessening pauperism.--many of the agencies for lessening pauperism are afraid of tracing back its growth to the frequency of births under wretched conditions. one begins to question whether after all sweet charity or dignified philanthropy has not acted with an unwise reticence. among the problems which defy practical handling this is the most complicated. the pauperism which arises from marriage is the result of the worst elements of character legalized. in america, where the boundaries of wedlock are practically boundless, it is not desirable, even were it possible, that the state should regulate marriage much further than it now does; therefore must the sociologist turn for aid to society in his struggle with pauperism. . right physical and spiritual conditions of birth.--society should insist upon the right spiritual and physical conditions for birth. it should be considered more than "a pity" when another child is born into a home too poor to receive it. the underlying selfishness of such an event should be recognized, for it brings motherhood under wrong conditions of health and money. instead of each birth being the result of mature consideration and hallowed love, children are too often born as animals are born. to be sure the child has a father whom he can call by name. better that there had never been a child. . wrong results.--no one hesitates to declare that it is want of self-respect and morality which brings wrong results outside of marriage, but it is also the want of them which begets evil inside the marriage relation. though there is nothing more difficult than to find the equilibrium between self-respect and self-sacrifice, yet on success in finding it depends individual and national preservation. the fact of being wife and mother or husband and father should imply dignity and joyousness, no matter how humble the home. . difference of opinion amongst physicians.--in regard to teaching, the difficulties are great. as soon as one advances beyond the simplest subjects of hygiene, one is met with the difference of opinions among physicians. when each one has a different way of making a mustard plaster, no wonder that each has his own notions about everything else. one doctor recommends frequent births, another advises against them. . different natures.--if physiological facts are taught to a large class, there are sure to be some in it whose impressionable natures are excited by too much plain { } speaking, while there are others who need the most open teaching in order to gain any benefit. talks to a few persons generally are wiser than popular lectures. especially are talks needed by mothers and unmothered girls who come from everywhere to the city. . boys and young men.--it is not women alone who require the shelter of organizations and instruction, but boys and young men. there is no double standard of morality, though the methods of advocating it depend upon the sex which is to be instructed. men are more concerned with the practical basis of morality than with its sentiment, and with the pecuniary aspects of domestic life than with its physical and mental suffering. we all may need medicine for moral ills, yet the very intangibleness of purity makes us slow to formulate rules for its growth. under the guidance of the wise in spirit and knowledge, much can be done to create a higher standard of marriage and to proportion the number of births according to the health and income of parents. . for the sake of the state.--if the home exists primarily for the sake of the individual, it exists secondarily for the sake of the state. therefore, any home into which are continually born the inefficient children of inefficient parents, not only is a discomfort in itself, but it also furnishes members for the armies of the unemployed, which are tinkering and hindering legislation and demanding by the brute force of numbers that the state shall support them. . opinions from high authorities.--in the statements and arguments made in the above we have not relied upon our own opinions and convictions, but have consulted the best authorities, and we hereby quote some of the highest authorities upon this subject. . rev. leonard dawson.--"how rapidly conjugal prudence might lift a nation out of pauperism was seen in france.--let them therefore hold the maxim that the production of offspring with forethought and providence is rational nature. it was immoral to bring children into the world whom they could not reasonably hope to feed, clothe and educate." . mrs. fawcett.--"nothing will permanently offset pauperism while the present reckless increase of population continues." . dr. george napheys.--"having too many children unquestionably has its disastrous effects on both mother and { } children as known to every intelligent physician. two-thirds of all cases of womb disease, says dr. tilt, are traceable to child-bearing in feeble women. there are also women to whom pregnancy is a nine months' torture, and others to whom it is nearly certain to prove fatal. such a condition cannot be discovered before marriage--the detestable crime of abortion is appallingly rife in our day. it is abroad in our land to an extent which would have shocked the dissolute women of pagan rome--this wholesale, fashionable murder, how are we to stop it? hundreds of vile men and women in our large cities subsist by this slaughter of the innocent." . rev. h. r. haweis.--"until it is thought a disgrace in every rank of society, from top to bottom of social scale, to bring into the world more children than you are able to provide for, the poor man's home, at least, must often be a purgatory--his children dinnerless, his wife a beggar--himself too often drunk--here, then, are the real remedies: first, control the family growth according to the family means of support." . montague cookson.--"the limitation of the number of the family--is as much the duty of married persons as the observance of chastity is the duty of those that are unmarried." . john stuart mill.--"every one has aright to live. we will suppose this granted. but no one has a right to bring children into life to be supported by other people. whoever means to stand upon the first of these rights must renounce all pretension to the last. little improvement can be expected in morality until the production of a large family is regarded in the same light as drunkenness or any other physical excess." . dr. t. d. nicholls.--"in the present social state, men and women should refrain from having children unless they see a reasonable prospect of giving them suitable nurture and education." . rev. m. j. savage.--"some means ought to be provided for checking the birth of sickly children." . dr. stockham.--"thoughtful minds must acknowledge the great wrong done when children are begotten under adverse conditions. women must learn the laws of life so as to protect themselves, and not be the means of bringing sin-cursed, diseased children into the world. the remedy is in the prevention of pregnancy, not in producing abortion." * * * * * { } small families and the improvement of the race. . married people must decide for themselves.--it is the fashion of those who marry nowadays to have few children, often none. of course this is a matter which married people must decide for themselves. as is stated in an earlier chapter, sometimes this policy is the wisest that can be pursued. [illustration] . diseased people.--diseased people who are likely to beget only a sickly offspring, may follow this course, and so may thieves, rascals, vagabonds, insane and drunken persons, and all those who are likely to bring into the world beings that ought not to be here. but why so many well-to-do folks should pursue a policy adapted only to paupers and criminals, is not easy to explain. why marry at all if not to found a family that shall live to bless and make glad the earth after father and mother are gone? it is not wise to rear too many children, nor is it wise to have too few. properly brought up, they will make home a delight and parents happy. . population limited.--galton, in his great work on hereditary genius, observes that "the time may hereafter arrive in far distant years, when the population of this earth shall be kept as strictly within bounds of number and suitability of race, as the sheep of a well-ordered moor, or the plants in an orchard-house; in the meantime, let us do what we can to encourage the multiplication of the races best { } fitted to invent and conform to a high and generous civilization." . shall sickly people raise children?--the question whether sickly people should marry and propagate their kind, is briefly alluded to in an early chapter of this work. where father and mother are both consumptive the chances are that the children will inherit physical weakness, which will result in the same disease, unless great pains are taken to give them a good physical education, and even then the probabilities are that they will find life a burden hardly worth living. . no real blessing.--where one parent is consumptive and the other vigorous, the chances are just half as great. if there is a scrofulous or consumptive taint in the blood, beware! sickly children are no comfort to their parents, no real blessing. if such people marry, they had better, in most cases, avoid parentage. . welfare of mankind.--the advancement of the welfare of mankind is a most intricate problem: all ought to refrain from marriage who cannot avoid abject poverty for their children; for poverty is not only a great evil, but tends to its own increase by leading to recklessness in marriage. on the other hand, as mr. galton has remarked, if the prudent avoid marriage, while the reckless marry, the inferior members will tend to supplant the better members of society. . preventives.--remember that the thousands of preventives which are advertised in papers, private circulars, etc., are not only inefficient, unreliable and worthless, but positively dangerous, and the annual mortality of females in this country from this cause alone is truly horrifying. study nature, and nature's laws alone will guide you safely in the path of health and happiness. . nature's remedy.--nature in her wise economy has prepared for overproduction, for during the period of pregnancy and nursing, and also most of the last half of each menstrual month, woman is naturally sterile; but this condition may become irregular and uncertain on account of stimulating drinks or immoral excesses. [illustration] { } the generative organs. [illustration] the male generative organs and their structure and adaptation. . the reproductive organs in man are the penis and testicles and their appendages. . the penis deposits the seminal life germ of the male. it is designed to fulfill the seed planting mission of human life. . in the accompanying illustration all the parts are named. . urethra.--the urethra performs the important mission of emptying the bladder, and is rendered very much larger by the passion, and the semen is propelled along through it by little layers of muscles on each side meeting { } above and below. it is this canal that is inflamed by the disease known as gonorrhoea. . prostrate gland.--the prostrate gland is located just before the bladder. it swells in men who have previously overtaxed it, thus preventing all sexual intercourse, and becomes very troublesome to void urine. this is a very common trouble in old age. . the penal gland.--the penal gland, located at the end of the penis, becomes unduly enlarged by excessive action and has the consistency of india rubber. it is always enlarged by erection. it is this gland at the end that draws the semen forward. it is one of the most essential and wonderful constructed glands of the human body. . female magnetism.--when the male organ comes in contact with female magnetism, the natural and proper excitement takes place. when excited without this female magnetism it becomes one of the most serious injuries to the human body. the male organ was made for a high and holy purpose, and woe be to him who pollutes his manhood by practicing the secret vice. he pays the penalty in after years either by the entire loss of sexual power, or by the afflictions of various urinary diseases. . nature pays all her debts, and when there is an abuse of organ, penalties must follow. if the hand is thrust into the fire it will be burnt. * * * * * the female sexual organs. * * * * * [illustration: anatomy or structure of the female organs of generation.] . the generative or reproductive organs of the human female are usually divided into the internal and external. those regarded as internal are concealed from view and protected within the body. those that can be readily perceived are termed external. the entrance of the vagina may be stated as the line of demarcation of the two divisions. { } [illustration: impregnated egg. in the first formation of embryo.] . hymen or vaginal valve.--this is a thin membrane of half moon shape stretched across the opening of the vagina. it usually contains before marriage one or more small openings for the passage of the menses. this membrane has been known to cause much distress in many females at the first menstrual flow. the trouble resulting from the openings in the hymen not being large enough to let the flow through and consequently blocking up the vaginal canal, and filling the entire { } internal sexual organs with blood; causing paroxysms and hysterics and other alarming symptoms. in such cases the hymen must be ruptured that a proper discharge may take place at once. . unyielding hymen.--the hymen is usually ruptured by the first sexual intercourse, but sometimes it is so unyielding as to require the aid of a knife before coition can take place. . the presence of the hymen was formerly considered a test of virginity, but this theory is no longer held by competent authorities, as disease or accidents or other circumstances may cause its rupture. . the ovaries.--the ovaries are little glands for the purpose of forming the female ova or egg. they are not fully developed until the period of puberty, and usually are about the size of a large chestnut. the are located in the broad ligaments between the uterus and the fallopian tubes. during pregnancy the ovaries change position; they are brought farther into the abdominal cavity as the uterus expands. . office of the ovary.--the ovary is to the female what the testicle is to the male. it is the germ vitalizing organ and the most essential part of the generative apparatus. the ovary is not only an organ for the formation of the ova, but is also designed for their separation when they reach maturity. . fallopian tubes.--these are the ducts that lead from the ovaries to the uterus. they are entirely detached from the glands or ovaries, and are developed on both sides of the body. . office of the fallopian tubes.--the fallopian tubes have a double office: receiving the ova from the ovaries and conducting it into the uterus, as well as receiving the spermatic fluid of the male and conveying it from the uterus in the direction of the ovaries, the tubes being the seat of impregnation. [illustration: ovum.] . sterility in females.--sterility in the female is sometimes caused by a morbid adhesion of the tube to a portion of the ovary. by what power the mouth of the tube is directed toward a particular portion of an ovary from which the ovum is about to be discharged, remains entirely unknown, as does also the precise nature of the cause which effects this movement. * * * * * { } the mysteries of the formation of life. [illustration: ripe ovum from the ovary.] . scientific theories.--darwin, huxley, haeckel, tyndall, meyer, and other renowned scientists, have tried to find the _missing link_ between man and animal; they have also exhausted their genius in trying to fathom the mysteries of the beginning of life, or find where the animal and mineral kingdoms unite to form life; but they have added to the vast accumulation of theories only, and the world is but little wiser on this mysterious subject. . physiology.--physiology has demonstrated what physiological changes take place in the germination and formation of life, and how nature expresses the intentions of reproduction by giving animals distinctive organs with certain secretions for this purpose, etc. all the different stages of development can be easily determined, but how and why life takes place under such special condition and under no other, is an unsolved mystery. . ovaries.--the ovaries are the essential parts of the generative system of the human female in which ova are matured. there are two ovaries, one on each side of the uterus, and connected with it by the fallopian tubes. they are egg-shaped, about an inch in diameter, and furnish the { } germs or ovules. these germs or ovules are very small, measuring about / of an inch in diameter. . development.--the ovaries develop with the growth of the female, so that finally at the period of puberty they ripen and liberate an ovum or germ vesicle, which is carried into the uterine cavity of the fallopian tubes. by the aid of the microscope we find that these ova are composed of granular substance, in which is found a miniature yolk surrounded by a transparent membrane called the zona pellucida. this yolk contains a germinal vesicle in which can be discovered a nucleus, called the germinal spot. the process of the growth of the ovaries is very gradual, and their function of ripening and discharging one ovum monthly into the fallopian tubes and uterus, is not completed until between the twelfth and fifteenth years. . what science knows.--after the sexual embrace we know that the sperm is lifted within the genital passages or portion of the vagina and mouth of the uterus. the time between the deposit of the semen and fecundation varies according to circumstances. if the sperm-cell travels to the ovarium it generally takes from three to five days to make the journey. as dr. pierce says: "the transportation is aided by the ciliary processes (little hairs) of the mucous surface of the vaginal and uterine walls, as well as by its own vibratile movements. the action of the cilia, under the stimulus of the sperm, seems to be from without, inward. even if a minute particle of sperm, less than a drop, be left upon the margin of the external genitals of the female, it is sufficient in amount to impregnate, and can be carried, by help of these cilia, to the ovaries." . conception.--after intercourse at the proper time the liability to conception is very great. if the organs are in a healthy condition, conception must necessarily follow, and no amount of prudence and the most rigid precautions often fail to prevent pregnancy. . only one absolutely safe method.--there is only one absolutely safe method to prevent conception, entirely free from danger and injury to health, and one that is in the reach of all; that is to refrain from union altogether. [illustration] { } prevention of conception. [illustration: the patient mother.] . the question is always asked, "can conception be prevented at all times?" certainly, this is possible; but such an interference with nature's laws is inadmissible, and perhaps never to be justified in any case whatever, except in cases of deformity or disease. . if the parties of a marriage are both feeble and so adapted to each other that their children are deformed, insane or idiots, then to beget offspring would be a flagrant wrong; if the mother's health is in such a condition as to forbid the right of laying the burden of motherhood upon her, then medical aid may safely come to her relief. if the man, however, respects his wife, he ought to come to her relief without the counsel of a physician. { } . forbearance.--often before the mother has recovered from the effects of bearing, nursing and rearing one child, ere she has regained proper tone and vigor of body and mind, she is unexpectedly overtaken, surprised by the manifestation of symptoms which again indicate pregnancy. children thus begotten cannot become hardy and long-lived. by the love that parents may feel for their posterity, by the wishes for their success, by the hopes for their usefulness, by every consideration for their future well-being, let them exercise precaution and forbearance until the wife becomes sufficiently healthy and enduring to bequeath her own rugged, vital stamina to the child she bears in love. . impostors.--during the past few years hundreds of books and pamphlets have been written on the subject, claiming that new remedies had been discovered for the prevention of conception, etc., but these are all money making devices to deceive the public, and enrich the pockets of miserable and unprincipled impostors. . the follies of prevention.--dr. pancoast, an eminent authority, says: "the truth is, there is no medicine taken internally capable of preventing conception, and the person who asserts to the contrary, not only speaks falsely, but is both a knave and a fool. it is true enough that remedies may be taken to produce abortion after conception occurs; but those who prescribe and those who resort to such desperate expedients, can only be placed in the category of lunatics and assassins!" . patent medicines.--if nature does not promptly respond, there are many patent medicines which when taken at the time the monthly flow is to begin, will produce the desired result. let women beware; for it is only a question of a few years when their constitution, complexion, and health will be a sorry evidence of their folly. the woman who continually takes a drug to prevent conception, cannot retain her natural complexion; her eyes will become dull, her cheeks flabby, and she will show various evidences of poor health, and her sexual organs will soon become permanently impaired and hopelessly diseased. . foolish dread of children.--what is more deplorable and pitiable than an old couple childless. young people dislike the care and confinement of children and prefer society and social entertainments and thereby do great injustice and injury to their health and fit themselves in later years to visit infirmities and diseases upon their children. the vigilant and rigid measures which have to be resorted to in order to prevent conception for a period of years unfits many a wife for the production of healthy children. { } . having children under proper circumstances never ruins the health and happiness of any woman. in fact, womanhood is incomplete without them. she may have a dozen or more, and still have better health than before marriage. it is having them too close together, and when she is not in a fit state, that her health gives way. sometimes the mother is diseased; the outlet from the womb, as a result of laceration by a previous child-birth, is frequently enlarged, thus allowing conception to take place very readily, and hence she has children in rapid succession. besides the wrong to the mother in having children in such rapid succession, it is a great injustice to the babe in the womb and the one at the breast that they should follow each other so quickly that one is conceived while the other is nursing. one takes the vitality of the other; neither has sufficient nourishment, and both are started in life stunted and incomplete. . "the desirability and practicability of limiting offspring," says dr. stockham, "are the subject of frequent inquiry. fewer and better children are desired by right-minded parents. many men and women, wise in other things of the world, permit generation as a chance result of copulation, without thought of physical or mental conditions to be transmitted to the child. coition, the one important act of all others, carrying with it the most vital results, is usually committed for selfish gratification. many a drunkard owes his life-long appetite for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his life could be traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father. physical degeneracy and mental derangements are too often caused by the parents producing offspring while laboring under great mental strain or bodily fatigue. drunkenness and licentiousness are frequently the heritage of posterity. future generations demand that such results be averted by better pre-natal influences. the world is groaning under the curse of chance parenthood. it is due to posterity that procreation be brought under the control of reason and conscience. . "it has been feared that a knowledge of means to prevent conception would, if generally diffused, be abused by women; that they would to so great an extent escape motherhood as to bring about social disaster. this fear is not well founded. the maternal instinct is inherent and sovereign in woman. even the pre-natal influences of a murderous intent on the part of parents scarcely ever { } eradicate it. with this natural desire for children, we believe few women would abuse the knowledge or privilege of controlling conception. although women shrink from forced maternity, and from the bearing of children under the great burden of suffering, as well as other adverse conditions, it is rare to find a woman who is not greatly disappointed if she does not, some time in her life, wear the crown of motherhood. "an eminent lady teacher, in talking to her pupils, once said: 'the greatest calamity that can befall a woman is never to have a child. the next greatest calamity is to have one only.' from my professional experience i am happy to testify that more women seek to overcome causes of sterility than to obtain knowledge of limiting the size of the family or means to destroy the embryo. also, if consultation for the latter is sought, it is usually at the instigation of the husband. believing in the rights of unborn children, and in the maternal instinct, i am consequently convinced that no knowledge should be withheld that will secure proper conditions for the best parenthood. . "many of the means used to prevent conception are injurious, and often lay the foundation for a train of physical ailments. probably no one means is more serious in its results than the practice of withdrawal, or the discharge of the semen externally to the vagina. the act is incomplete and unnatural, and is followed by results similar to and as disastrous as those consequent upon _masturbation_. in the male it may result in impotence, in the female in sterility. in both sexes many nervous symptoms are produced, such as headache, defective vision, dyspepsia, insomnia, loss of memory, etc. very many cases of uterine diseases can be attributed solely to this practice. the objection to the use of the syringe is that if the sperm has passed into the uterus the fluid cannot reach it. a cold fluid may, in some instances, produce contractions to throw it off, but cannot be relied upon." . is it ever right to prevent conception? we submit the following case of the _juke_ family, mostly of new york state, as related by r. l. dugdale, when a member of the prison association, and let the reader judge for himself: "it was traced out by painstaking research that from one woman called margaret, who, like topsy, merely 'growed' without pedigree as a pauper in a village on the upper hudson, about eighty-five years ago, there descended { } children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, of whom were criminals of the dangerous class, adult paupers, and fifty prostitutes, while children of her lineage died prematurely. the last fact proves to what extent in this family nature was kind to the rest of humanity in saving it from a still larger aggregation of undesirable and costly members, for it is estimated that the expense to the state of the descendants of maggie was over a million dollars, and the state itself did something also towards preventing a greater expense by the restrain exercised upon the criminals, paupers, and idiots of the family during a considerable portion of their lives." . the legal aspect.--by the revised statutes of the united states it is provided "that no obscene, * * * or lascivious book, picture, or any article or thing designed or intended for the prevention of conception or producing of abortion shall be carried in the mail, and any person who shall knowingly deposit or cause to be deposited for mailing or delivery any of the hereinbefore mentioned things shall be guilty of misdemeanor," etc. in new jersey, oregon, south carolina, texas and district of columbia we find no local law against abortion. nine states, viz.: new hampshire, connecticut, new york, indiana, wisconsin, dakotas, wyoming and california punish the woman upon whom the abortion is attempted; while massachusetts, new york, ohio, indiana, michigan, nebraska, kansas and california punish the advertising or furnishing of means for the prevention of conception; and ohio makes it a crime to even have such means in one's possession. there is exception made in favor of every case where the early birth of the infant is necessary to save the life of the mother. it will be noticed that the common law punishes the furnishing or advertising of means for the prevention of conception, and hence regards it as a crime. there is, however, no ban of the civil law on nature's law as laid down by nature's god and discovered by medical science, which we here make known. . is nature's method reliable?--dr. cowan says: "sexual excitement hastens the premature ripening and meeting of the germ cell with the sperm cell, and impregnation may result, although intercourse occurs only in the specified two weeks' absence of the egg from the uterus." this is just possible under certain peculiar circumstances of diseased conditions, or after long separation of husband and wife. however, it seldom happens, and married people in normal health, temperate in the sexual relation, desirous of controlling the size of their family, can usually depend upon this law. { } . moderation.--continence, self-control, a willingness to deny himself--that is what is required from the husband. but a thousand voices reach us from suffering women in all parts of the land that this will not suffice; that men refuse thus to restrain themselves; that it leads to a loss of domestic happiness and to illegal amour, or it is injurious physically and morally; that, in short, such advice is useless because impracticable. . nature's method.--to such we reply that nature herself has provided, to some extent, against over-production, and that it is well to avail ourselves of her provision. it is well known that women, when nursing, rarely become pregnant, and for this reason, if for no other, women should nurse their own children, and continue the period until the child is at least nine months or a year old. however, the nursing, if continued too long, weakens both the mother and the child, and, moreover, ceases to accomplish the end for which we now recommend it. . another provision of nature.--for a certain period between her monthly illness, every woman is sterile. conception may be avoided by refraining from coition except for this particular number of days, and there will be no evasion of natural intercourse, no resort to disgusting practices, and nothing degrading. the following facts have been established, without a doubt: the graafian vesicle, containing the egg in the ovary, enlarges during menstruation and bursts open to let the egg escape usually on the first day after the flow ceases, and seldom, if ever, later than the fourth day. it then takes from two to six days for the egg to pass down through the fallopian tube into the womb, where it remains from two to six days, when, if not impregnated, it passes down through the vagina from the body. after the egg has passed from the body, conception is not possible until after the next menstrual flow. the period, therefore, from after the sixteenth to within three days of the following menstrual discharge is one of almost absolute safety. we say within three days of the next menstruation, because the male seminal fluid may be retained there till the egg leaves the ovary, and in that way impregnation might follow. impregnation would, however, rarely occur if the period was extended to from the twelfth day after menstruation close up to one day before it began again. the above is the only physiological method (and it is no secret to a great many people) by which conception can be limited, without the employment of such means as involve danger and serious evils. . warning.--let women be warned in the most emphatic manner against the employment of the secret methods constantly advertised by quacks. such means are the almost certain cause of painful uterine diseases and of shortened life. they are productive of more misery by far than over-production itself. { } [illustration: [ ]new revelation for women.] vaginal cleanliness. . the above syringe has a patent tube known as the vaginal cleanser. this keeps the sides of the vagina apart and permits the water to thoroughly clean and cleanse the organ. it will be found a great relief in both health and sickness, and in many cases cure barrenness and other diseases of the womb. it can be used the same as any other syringe. the tube can be procured at almost any drug store and applied to either bulb or fountain syringe. many women are barren on account of an acid secretion in the vagina. the cleanser is almost a certain remedy and cure. . cleanliness.--cleanliness is next to godliness. without cleanliness the human body is more or less defiled and repulsive. a hint to the wise is sufficient. the vagina should be cleansed with the same faithfulness as any other portion of the body. . temperature of the water.--those not accustomed to use vaginal injections would do well to use water milk-warm at the commencement; after this the temperature may be varied according to circumstances. in case of local inflammation use hot water. the indiscriminate use of cold water injections will be found rather injurious than beneficial, and a woman in feeble health will always find warm water invigorating and preferable. { } . leucorrhoea.--in case of persistent leucorrhoea use the temperature of water from seventy-two to eighty-five degrees fahrenheit. . the cleanser will greatly stimulate the health and spirits of any woman who uses it. pure water injections have a stimulating effect, and it seems to invigorate the entire body. . salt and water injections.--this will cure mild cases of leucorrhoea. add a teaspoonful of salt to a pint and a half of water at the proper temperature. injections may be repeated daily if deemed necessary. . soap and water.--soap and water is a very simple domestic remedy, and will many times afford relief in many diseases of the womb. it seems it thoroughly cleanses the parts. a little borax or vinegar may be used the same as salt water injections. (see no. .) . sterile women desiring offspring should seek sexual union soon after the appearance of the menses, and not use the vaginal cleanser till several days later. those not desiring offspring should avoid copulation until the ovum has passed the generative tract. . holes in the tubes.--most of the holes in the tubes of syringes are too small. see that they are sufficiently large to produce thorough cleansing. . injections during the monthly flow.--of course it is not proper to arrest the flow, and the injections will stimulate a healthy action of the organs. the injections may be used daily throughout the monthly flow with much comfort and benefit. if the flow is scanty and painful the injections may be as warm as they can be comfortably borne. if the flowing is immoderate, then cool water may be used. a woman will soon learn her own condition and can act accordingly. . bloom and grace of youth.--the regular bathing of the body will greatly improve woman's beauty. remember that a perfect complexion depends upon the healthy action of all the organs. vaginal injections are just as important as the bath. a beautiful woman must not only be cleanly, but robust and healthy. there can be no perfect beauty without good health. [illustration] { } impotence and sterility. [illustration: trying on a new dress.] . actual impotence during the period of manhood is a very rare complaint, and nature very unwillingly, and only after the absolute neglect of sanitary laws, gives up the power of reproduction. . not only sensual women, but all without exception, feel deeply hurt, and are repelled by the husband whom they may previously have loved dearly, when, after entering the married state, they find that he is impotent. the more inexperienced and innocent they were at the time of marriage, the longer it often is before they find that something is lacking in the husband; but, once knowing this, the wife infallibly has a feeling of contempt and aversion for him; though there are many happy families where this defect exists. it is often very uncertain who is the weak one, and no cause for separation should be sought. . unhappy marriages, barrenness, divorces, and perchance an occasional suicide, may be prevented by the experienced physician, who can generally give correct information, comfort, and consolation, when consulted on these delicate matters. . when a single man fears that he is unable to fulfill the duties of marriage, he should not marry until his fear is dispelled. the suspicion of such a fear strongly tends to bring about the very weakness which he dreads. go to a good physician (not to one of those quacks whose { } advertisements you see in the papers; they are invariably unreliable), and state the case fully and freely. . diseases, malformation, etc., may cause impotence. in case of malformation there is usually no remedy, but in case of disease it is usually within the reach of a skillful physician. . self-abuse and spermatorrhoea produce usually only temporary impotence and can generally be relieved by carrying out the instructions given elsewhere in this book. . excessive indulgences often enfeeble the powers and often result in impotence. dissipated single men, professional libertines, and married men who are immoderate, often pay the penalty of their violations of the laws of nature, by losing their vital power. in such cases of excess there may be some temporary relief, but as age advances the effects of such indiscretion will become more and more manifest. . the condition of sterility in man may arise either from a condition of the secretion which deprives it of its fecundating powers or it may spring from a malformation which prevents it reaching the point where fecundation takes place. the former condition is most common in old age, and is a sequence of venereal disease, or from a change in the structure or functions of the glands. the latter has its origin in a stricture, or in an injury, or in that condition technically known as hypospadias, or in debility. . it can be safely said that neither self-indulgence nor spermatorrhoea often leads to permanent sterility. . it is sometimes, however, possible, even where there is sterility in the male, providing the secretion is not entirely devoid of life properties on part of the husband, to have children, but these are exceptions. . no man need hesitate about matrimony on account of sterility, unless that condition arises from a permanent and absolute degeneration of his functions. . impotence from mental and moral causes often takes place. persons of highly nervous organization may suffer incapacity in their sexual organs. the remedy for these difficulties is rest and change of occupation. . remedies in case of impotence on account of former private diseases, or masturbation, or other causes.--first build up the body by taking some good stimulating tonics. the general health is the most essential feature to be considered, in order to secure restoration of the sexual powers. constipation must be carefully avoided. if the { } kidneys do not work in good order, some remedy for their restoration must be taken. take plenty of out-door exercise, avoid horseback riding or heavy exhaustive work. . food and drinks which weaken desire.--all kinds of food which cause dyspepsia or bring on constipation, diarrhoea, or irritate the bowels, alcoholic beverages, or any indigestible compound, has the tendency to weaken the sexual power. drunkards and tipplers suffer early loss of vitality. beer drinking has a tendency to irritate the stomach and to that extent affects the private organs. . coffee.--coffee drank excessively causes a debilitating effect upon the sexual organs. the moderate use of coffee can be recommended, yet an excessive habit of drinking very strong coffee will sometimes wholly destroy vitality. . tobacco.--it is a hygienic and physiological fact that tobacco produces sexual debility and those who suffer any weakness from that source should carefully avoid the weed in all its forms. . drugs which stimulate desire.--there are certain medicines which act locally on the membranes and organs of the male, and the papers are full of advertisements of "lost manhood restored", etc., but in every case they are worthless or dangerous drugs and certain to lead to some painful malady or death. all these patent medicines should be carefully avoided. people who are troubled with any of these ailments should not attempt to doctor themselves by taking drugs, but a competent physician should be consulted. eating rye, corn, or graham bread, oatmeal, cracked wheat, plenty of fruit, etc. is a splendid medicine. if that is not sufficient, then a physician should be consulted. . drugs which moderate desire.--among one of the most common domestic remedies is camphor. this has stood the test for ages. small doses of half a grain in most instances diminishes the sensibility of the organs of sex. in some cases it produces irritation of the bladder. in that case it should be at once discontinued. on the whole a physician had better be consulted. the safest drug among domestic remedies is a strong tea made out of hops. saltpeter, or nitrate of potash, taken in moderate quantities, are very good remedies. { } . strictly speaking there is a distinction made between _impotence_ and _sterility_. _impotence_ is a loss of power to engage in the sexual act and is common to men. it may be imperfection in the male organ or a lack of sufficient sexual vigor to produce and maintain erection. _sterility_ is a total loss of capacity in the reproduction of the species, and is common to women. there are, however, very few causes of barrenness that cannot be removed when the patient is perfectly developed. sterility, in a female, most frequently depends upon a weakness or irritability either in the ovaries or the womb, and anything having a strengthening effect upon either organ will remove the disability. (see page .) . "over-indulgence in intercourse," says dr. hoff, "is sometimes the cause of barrenness; this is usually puzzling to the interested parties, inasmuch as the practices which, in their opinion, should be the source of a numerous progeny, have the very opposite effect. by greatly moderating their ardor, this defect may be remedied." . "napoleon and josephine.--a certain adaptation between the male and female has been regarded as necessary to conception, consisting of some mysterious influence which one sex exerts over the other, neither one, however, being essentially impotent or sterile. the man may impregnate one woman and not another, and the woman will conceive by one man and not by another. in the marriage of napoleon bonaparte and josephine no children were born, but after he had separated from the empress and wedded maria louisa of austria, an heir soon came. yet josephine had children by beauharnais, her previous husband. but as all is not known as to the physical condition of josephine during her second marriage, it cannot be assumed that mere lack of adaptability was the cause of unfruitfulness between them. there may have been some cause that history has not recorded, or unknown to the state of medical science of those days. there are doubtless many cases of apparently causeless unfruitfulness in marriage that even physicians, with a knowledge of all apparent conditions in the parties, cannot explain; but when, as elsewhere related in this volume, impregnation by artificial means is successfully practised, it is useless to attribute barrenness to purely psychological and adaptative influences." * * * * * { } producing boys or girls at will. . can the sexes be produced at will?--this question has been asked in all ages of the world. many theories have been advanced, but science has at last replied with some authority. the following are the best known authorities which this age of science has produced. . the agricultural theory.--the agricultural theory, as it may be called, because adopted by farmers, is that impregnation occurring within four days of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl, because the ovum is yet immature; but that when it occurs after the fourth day from its close, gives a boy, because this egg is now mature; whereas after about the eighth day this egg dissolves and passes off, so that impregnation is thereby rendered impossible, till just before the mother's next monthly.--_sexual science._ . queen bees lay female eggs first, and male afterwards. so with hens; the first eggs laid after the tread give females, the last males. mares shown the stallion late in their periods drop horse colts rather than fillies.--_napheys._ . if you wish females, give the male at the first sign of heat; if males, at its end.--_prof. thury._ . on twenty-two successive occasions i desired to have heifers, and succeeded in every case. i have made in all twenty-nine experiments, after this method, and succeeded in every one, in producing the sex i desired.--_a swiss breeder._ . this thury plan has been tried on the farms of the emperor of the french with unvarying success. . conception in the first half of the time between the menstrual periods produces females, and males is the latter.--_london lancet._ . intercourse in from two to six days after cessation of the menses produces girls, in from nine to twelve, boys.--_medical reporter._ . the most male power and passion creates boys; female girls. this law probably causes those agricultural facts just cited thus: conception right after menstruation give girls, because the female is then the most impassioned; later, boys, because her wanting sexual warmth leaves him the most vigorous. mere sexual excitement, a wild, fierce, furious rush of passion, is not only not sexual vigor, but in its inverse ratio; and a genuine insane fervor caused by weakness; just as a like nervous excitability indicates weak nerves instead of strong. sexual power is deliberate, not wild; cool, not impetuous; while all false excitement diminishes effectiveness.--_fowler._ * * * * * { } abortion or miscarriage. [illustration: healthy children.] . abortion or miscarriage is the expulsion of the child from the womb previous to six months; after that it is called premature birth. . causes.--it may be due to a criminal act of taking medicine for the express purpose of producing miscarriage or it may be caused by certain medicines, severe sickness or nervousness, syphilis, imperfect semen, lack of room in the pelvis and abdomen, lifting, straining, violent cold, sudden mental excitement, excessive sexual intercourse, dancing, tight lacing, the use of strong purgative medicines, bodily fatigue, late suppers, and fashionable amusements. . symptoms.--a falling or weakness and uneasiness in the region of the loins, thighs and womb, pain in the small { } of the back, vomiting and sickness of the stomach, chilliness with a discharge of blood accompanied with pain in the lower portions of the abdomen. these may take place in a single hour, or it may continue for several days. if before the fourth month, there is not so much danger, but the flow of blood is generally greater. if miscarriage is the result of an accident, it generally takes place without much warning, and the service of a physician should at once be secured. . home treatment.--a simple application of cold water externally applied will produce relief, or cold cloths of ice, if convenient, applied to the lower portions of the abdomen. perfect quiet, however, is the most essential thing for the patient. she should lie on her back and take internally a teaspoonful of paregoric every two hours; drink freely of lemonade or other cooling drinks, and for nourishment subsist chiefly on chicken broth, toast, water gruel, fresh fruits, etc. the principal homeopathic remedies for this disease are ergot and cimicifuga, given in drop-doses of the tinctures. . injurious effects.--miscarriage is a very serious difficulty, and the health and the constitution may be permanently impaired. any one prone to miscarriage should adopt every measure possible to strengthen and build up the system; avoid going up stairs or doing much heavy lifting or hard work. . prevention.--practice the laws of sexual abstinence, take frequent sitz-baths, live on oatmeal, graham bread, and other nourishing diet. avoid highly seasoned food, rich gravies, late suppers and the like. [illustration] { } the murder of the innocents. [illustration: an indian family. the savage indian teaches us lessons of civilization.] . many causes.--many causes have operated to produce a corruption of the public morals so deplorable; prominent among which may be mentioned the facility with which divorces may be obtained in some of the states, the constant promulgation of false ideas of marriage and its duties by means of books, lectures, etc., and the distribution through the mails of impure publications. but an influence not less powerful than any of these is the growing devotion of fashion and luxury of this age, and the idea which practically obtains to so great an extent that pleasure, instead of the health or morals, is the great object of life. . a monstrous crime.--the abiding interest we feel in the preservation of the morals of our country, constrains us to raise our voice against the daily increasing practice of { } infanticide, especially before birth. the notoriety this monstrous crime has obtained of late, and the hecatombs of infants that are annually sacrificed to moloch, to gratify an unlawful passion, are a sufficient justification for our alluding to a painful and delicate subject, which should "not even be named," only to correct and admonish the wrong-doers. . localities in which it is most prevalent.--we may observe that the crying sin of infanticide is most prevalent in those localities where the system of moral education has been longest neglected. this inhuman crime might be compared to the murder of the innocents, except that the criminals, in this case, exceed in enormity the cruelty of herod. . shedding innocent blood.--if it is a sin to take away the life even of an enemy; if the crime of shedding innocent blood cries to heaven for vengeance; in what language can we characterize the double guilt of those whose souls are stained with the innocent blood of their own unborn, unregenerated offspring? . the greatness of the crime.--the murder of an infant before its birth, is, in the sight of god and the law, as great a crime as the killing of a child after birth. . legal responsibility.--every state of the union has made this offense one of the most serious crimes. the law has no mercy for the offenders that violate the sacred law of human life. it is murder of the most cowardly character and woe to him who brings this curse upon his head, to haunt him all the days of his or her life, and to curse him at the day of his death. . the product of lust.--lust pure and simple. the only difference between a marriage of this character and prostitution is, that society, rotten to its heart, pulpits afraid to cry aloud against crime and vice, and the church conformed to the world, have made such a profanation of marriage respectable. to put it in other words, when two people determine to live together as husband and wife, and evade the consequences and responsibilities of marriage, they are simply engaged in prostitution without the infamy which attaches to that vice and crime. . outrageous violation of all law.--the violation of all law, both natural and revealed, is the cool and villainous contract by which people entering into the marital relation engage in defiance of the laws of god and the laws of the commonwealth, that they shall be unincumbered with a family of children. "disguise the matter as you will," says dr. pomeroy, "yet the fact remains that the first and { } specific object of marriage is the rearing of a family." "be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth," is god's first word to adam after his creation. . the national sin.--the prevention of offspring is preeminently the sin of america. it is fast becoming the national sin of america, and if it is not checked, it will sooner or later be an irremediable calamity. the sin has its roots in a low and perverted idea of marriage, and is fostered by false standards of modesty. . the sin of herod.--do these same white-walled sepulchres of hell know that they are committing the damning sin of herod in the slaughter of the innocents, and are accessories before the fact to the crime of murder? do women in all circles of society, when practicing these terrible crimes realize the real danger? do they understand that it is undermining their health, and their constitution, and that their destiny, if persisted in, is a premature grave just as sure as the sun rises in the heavens? let all beware, and let the first and only purpose be, to live a life guiltless before god and man. . the crime of abortion.--from the moment of conception a new life commences; a new individual exists; another child is added to the family. the mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life, either by want of care, or by taking drugs, or using instruments, commits as great a crime, and is just as guilty as if she strangled her new-born infant or as if she snatched from her own breast her six months' darling and dashed out its brains against the wall. its blood is upon her head, and as sure as there is a god and a judgment, that blood will be required of her. the crime she commits is murder, child murder--the slaughter of a speechless, helpless being, whom it is her duty, beyond all things else, to cherish and preserve. . dangerous diseases.--we appeal to all such with earnest and with threatening words. if they have no feeling for the fruit of their womb, if maternal sentiment is so callous in their breasts, let them know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent and dangerous womb diseases, and frequently of early death; that they bring on mental weakness, and often insanity; that they are the most certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted. better, far better, to bear a child every year for twenty years than to resort to such a wicked and injurious step; better to die, if need be, in the pangs of child-birth, than to live with such a weight of sin on the conscience. * * * * * { } the unwelcome child.[ ] . too often the husband thinks only of his personal gratification; he insists upon what he calls his rights (?); forces on his wife an _unwelcome child_, and thereby often alienates her affections, if he does not drive her to abortion. dr stockham reports the following case: "a woman once consulted me who was the mother of five children, all born within ten years. these were puny, scrofulous, nervous and irritable. she herself was a fit subject for doctors and drugs. every organ in her body seemed diseased, and every function perverted. she was dragging out a miserable existence. like other physicians, i had prescribed in vain for her many maladies. one day she chanced to inquire how she could safely prevent conception. this led me to ask how great was the danger. she said: 'unless my husband is absent from home, few nights have been exempt since we were married, except it may be three or four immediately after confinement.' "'and yet your husband loves you?' "'o, yes, he is kind and provides for his family. perhaps i might love him but for this. while now--(will god forgive me?)--_i detest, i loathe him_, and if i knew how to support myself and children, i would leave him.' "'can you talk with him upon this subject?' "'i think i can.' "' then there is hope, for many women cannot do that. tell him i will give you treatment to improve your health, and if he will wait until you can respond, _take time for the act, have it entirely mutual from first to last_, the demand will not come so frequent.' "'do you think so?' "'the experience of many proves the truth of this statement.' "hopefully she went home, and in six months i had the satisfaction of knowing my patient was restored to health, and a single coition in a month gave the husband more satisfaction than the many had done previously, that the creative power was under control, and that my lady could proudly say 'i love,' where previously she said 'i hate.' "if husbands will listen, a few simple instructions will { } appeal to their _common sense_, and none can imagine the gain to themselves, to their wives and children, and their children's children. then it may not be said of the babes that the 'death borders on their birth, and their cradle stands in the grave.'" . wives! be frank and true to your husbands on the subject of maternity, and the relation that leads to it. interchange thoughts and feelings with them as to what nature allows or demands in regard to these. can maternity be natural when it is undesigned by the father or undesired by the mother? can a maternity be natural, healthful, ennobling to the mother, to the child, to the father, and to the home, when no loving, tender, anxious forethought presides over the relation in which it originated?--when the mother's nature loathed and repelled it, and the father's only thought was his own selfish gratification; the feelings and conditions of the mother, and the health, character and destiny of the child that may result being ignored by him. wives! let there be a perfect and loving understanding between you and your husbands on these matters, and great will be your reward. . a woman writes:--"there are few, very few, wives and mothers who could not reveal a sad, dark picture in their own experience in their relations to their husbands and their children. maternity, and the relation in which it originates, are thrust upon them by their husbands, often without regard to their spiritual or physical conditions, and often in contempt of their earnest and urgent entreaties. no joy comes to their heart at the conception and birth of their children, except that which arises from the consciousness that they have survived the sufferings wantonly and selfishly inflicted upon them." . husband, when maternity is imposed on your wife without her consent, and contrary to her appeal, how will her mind necessarily be affected towards her child? it was conceived in dread and in bitterness of spirit. every stage of its foetal development is watched with feeling of settled repugnance. in every step of its ante-natal progress the child meets only with grief and indignation in the mother. she would crush out its life, if she could. she loathed its conception; she loathed it in every stage of its ante-natal development. instead of fixing her mind on devising ways and means for the healthful and happy organization and { } development of her child before it is born, and for its postnatal comfort and support, her soul may be intent on its destruction, and her thoughts devise plans to kill it. in this, how often is she aided by others! there are those, and they are called men and women, whose profession is to devise ways to kill children before they are born. those who do this would not hesitate (but for the consequences) to kill them after they are born, for the state of mind that would justify and instigate _ante-natal_ child-murder would justify and instigate _post-natal_ child-murder. yet, public sentiment consigns the murderer of post-natal children to the dungeon or the gallows, while the murderers of ante-natal children are often allowed to pass in society as honest and honorable men and women. . the following is an extract from a letter written by one who has proudly and nobly filled the station of a wife and mother, and whose children and grandchildren surround her and crown her life with tenderest love and respect: "it has often been a matter of wonder to me that men should, so heedlessly, and so injuriously to themselves, their wives and children, and their homes, demand at once, as soon as they get legal possession of their wives, the gratification of a passion, which, when indulged merely for the sake of the gratification of the moment, must end in the destruction of all that is beautiful, noble and divine in man or woman. i have often felt that i would give the world for a friendship with man that should show no impurity in its bearing, and for a conjugal relation that would, at all times, heartily and practically recognize the right of the wife to decide for herself when she should enter into the relation that leads to maternity." . timely advice.--here let me say that on no subject should a man and woman, as they are being attracted into conjugal relations, be more open and truthful with each other than on this. no woman, who would save herself and the man she loves from a desecrated and wretched home, should enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until she understands what he expects of her as to the function of maternity, and the relation that leads to it. if a woman is made aware that the man who would win her as a wife regards her and the marriage relation only as the means of a legalized gratification of his passions, and she sees fit to live with him as a wife, with such a prospect before her, she must take the consequences of a course so { } degrading and so shameless. if she sees fit to make an offering of her body and soul on the altar of her husband's sensuality, she must do it; but she has a right to know to what base uses her womanhood is to be put, and it is due to her, as well as to himself, that he should tell beforehand precisely what he wants and expects of her. too frequently, man shrinks from all allusion, during courtship, to his expectations in regard to future passional relations. he fears to speak of them, lest he should shock and repel the woman he would win as a wife. being conscious, it may be, of an intention to use power he may acquire over her person for his own gratification, he shuns all interchange of views with her, lest she should divine the hidden sensualism of his soul, and his intention to victimize her person to it the moment he shall get the license. a woman had better die at once than enter into or continue in marriage with a man whose highest conception of the relation is, that it is a means of licensed animal indulgence. in such a relation, body and soul are sacrificed. . one distinctive characteristic of a true and noble husband is a feeling of manly pride in the physical elements of his manhood. his physical manhood, as well as his soul, is dear to the heart of his wife, because through this he can give the fullest expression of his manly power. how can you, my friend, secure for your person the loving care and respect of your wife? there is but one way: so manifest yourself to her, in the hours of your most endearing intimacies, that all your manly power shall be associated only with all that is generous, just and noble in you, and with purity, freedom and happiness in her. make her feel that all which constitutes you a man, and qualifies you to be her husband and the father of her children, belongs to her, and is sacredly consecrated to the perfection and happiness of her nature. do this, and the happiness of your home is made complete. your _body_ will be lovingly and reverently cared for, because the wife of your bosom feels that it is the sacred symbol through which a noble, manly love is ever speaking to her, to cheer and sustain her. . woman is ever proud, and justly so, of the manly passion of her husband, when she knows it is controlled by a love for her, whose manifestations have regard only to her elevation and happiness. the power which, when bent only on selfish indulgence, becomes a source of more shame, degradation, disease and wretchedness, to { } women and to children than all other things put together, does but ennoble her, add grace and glory to her being, and concentrate and vitalize the love that encircles her as a wife when it is controlled by wisdom and consecrated to her highest growth and happiness, and that of her children. it lends enchantment to her person, and gives a fascination to her smiles, her words and her caresses, which ever breathe of purity and of heaven, and make her all lovely as a wife and mother to her husband and the father of her child. _manly passion is to the conjugal love of the wife like the sun to the rose-bud, that opens its petals, and causes them to give out their sweetest fragrance and to display their most delicate tints; or like the frost, which chills and kills it ere it blossoms in its richness and beauty._ . a diadem of beauty.--maternity, when it exists at the call of the wife, and is gratefully received, but binds her heart more tenderly and devotedly to her husband. as the father of her child, he stands before her invested with new beauty and dignity. in receiving from him the germ of a new life, she receives that which she feels is to add new beauty and glory to her as a woman--a new grace and attraction to her as a wife. she loves and honors him, because he has crowned her with the glory of a mother. maternity, to her, instead of being repulsive, is a diadem of beauty, a crown of rejoicing; and deep, tender, and self-forgetting are her love and reverence for him who has placed it on her brow. how noble, how august, how beautiful is maternity when thus bestowed and received! . conclusion.--would you, then, secure the love and trust of your wife, and become an object of her ever-growing tenderness and reverence? assure her, by all your manifestations, and your perfect respect for the functions of her nature, that your passion shall be in subjection of her wishes. it is not enough that you have secured in her heart respect for your spiritual and intellectual manhood. to maintain your self-respect in your relations with her, to perfect your growth and happiness as a husband, you must cause your _physical_ nature to be tenderly cherished and reverenced by her in all the sacred intimacies of home. no matter how much she reverences your intellectual or your social power, if by reason of your uncalled-for passional manifestations you have made your physical manhood disagreeable, how can you, in her presence, preserve a sense of manly pride and dignity as a husband? * * * * * { } heredity and the transmission of diseases. [illustration: health and disease.] . bad habits.--it is known that the girl who marries the man with bad habits, is, in a measure, responsible for the evil tendencies which these habits have created in the children; and young people are constantly warned of the danger in marrying when they know they come from families troubled with chronic diseases or insanity. to be sure the warnings have had little effect thus far in preventing such marriages, and it is doubtful whether they will, unless the prophecy of an extremist writing for one of our periodicals comes to pass--that the time is not far distant when such marriages will be a crime punishable by law. { } . tendency in the right direction.--that there is a tendency in the right direction must be admitted, and is perhaps most clearly shown in some of the articles on prison reform. many of them strongly urge the necessity of preventive work as the truest economy, and some go so far as to say that if the present human knowledge of the laws of heredity were acted upon for a generation, reformatory measures would be rendered unnecessary. . serious consequences.--the mother who has ruined her health by late hours, highly-spiced food, and general carelessness in regard to hygienic laws, and the father who is the slave of questionable habits, will be very sure to have children either mentally or morally inferior to what they might otherwise have had a right to expect. but the prenatal influences may be such that evils arising from such may be modified to a great degree. . formation of character.--i believe that pre-natal influences may do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after, and that the mother may, in a measure, "will" what that influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, it will be more and more under their control. in that, as in everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the other. . inheriting disease. consumption--that dread foe of modern life--is the most frequently encountered of all affections as the result of inherited predispositions. indeed, some of the most eminent physicians have believed it is never produced in any other way. heart disease, disease of the throat, excessive obesity, affections of the skin, asthma, disorders of the brain and nervous system, gout, rheumatism and cancer, are all hereditary. a tendency to bleed frequently, profusely and uncontrollably, from trifling wounds, is often met with as a family affection. . mental derangements.--almost all forms of mental derangements are hereditary--one of the parents or near relation being afflicted. physical or bodily weakness is often hereditary, such as scrofula, gout, rheumatism, rickets, consumption, apoplexy, hernia, urinary calculi, hemorrhoids or piles, cataract, etc. in fact, all physical weakness, if ingrafted in either parent, is transmitted from parents to offspring, and is often more strongly marked in the latter than in the former. . marks and deformities.--marks and deformities are all transmissible from parents to offspring, equally with { } diseases and peculiar proclivities. among such blemishes may be mentioned moles, hair-lips, deficient or supernumerary fingers, toes, and other characteristics. it is also asserted that dogs and cats that have accidentally lost their tails, bring forth young similarly deformed. blumenbach tells of a man who had lost his little finger, having children with the same deformity. . caution.--taking facts like these into consideration, how very important is it for persons, before selecting partners for life, to deliberately weigh every element and circumstances of this nature, if they would insure a felicitous union, and not entail upon their posterity disease, misery and despair. alas! in too many instances matrimony is made a matter of money, while all earthly joys are sacrificed upon the accursed altars of lust and mammon. [illustration] { } preparation for maternity. . woman before marriage.--it is not too much to say that the life of women before marriage ought to be adjusted with more reference to their duties as mothers than to any other one earthly object. it is the continuance of the race which is the chief purpose of marriage. the passion of amativeness is probably, on the whole, the most powerful of all human impulses. its purpose, however, is rather to subserve the object of continuing the species, than merely its own gratification. . exercise.--girls should be brought up to live much in the open air, always with abundant clothing against wet and cold. they should be encouraged to take much active exercise; as much, if they want to, as boys. it is as good for little girls to run and jump, to ramble in the woods, to go boating, to ride and drive, to play and "have fun" generally, as for little boys. . preserve the sight.--children should be carefully prevented from using their eyes to read or write, or in any equivalent exertion, either before breakfast, by dim daylight, or by artificial light. even school studies should be such that they can be dealt with by daylight. lessons that cannot be learned without lamp-light study are almost certainly excessive. this precaution should ordinarily be maintained until the age of puberty is reached. . bathing.--bathing should be enforced according to constitutions, not by an invariable rule, except the invariable rule of keeping clean. not necessarily every day, nor necessarily in cold water; though those conditions are doubtless often right in case of abundant physical health and strength. . wrong habits.--the habit of daily natural evacuations should be solicitously formed and maintained. words or figures could never express the discomforts and wretchedness which wrong habits in this particular have locked down upon innumerable women for years and even for life. . dress.--dress should be warm, loose, comely, and modest rather than showy; but it should be good enough to satisfy a child's desires after a good appearance, if they are reasonable. children, indeed, should have all their reasonable desires granted as far as possible; for nothing makes them reasonable so rapidly and so surely as to treat them reasonably. { } . tight lacing.--great harm is often done to maidens for want of knowledge in them, or wisdom and care in their parents. the extremes of fashions are very prone to violate not only taste, but physiology. such cases are tight lacing, low necked dresses, thin shoes, heavy skirts. and yet, if the ladies only knew, the most attractive costumes are not the extremes of fashion, but those which conform to fashion enough to avoid oddity, which preserve decorum and healthfulness, whether or no; and here is the great secret of successful dress--vary fashion so as to suit the style of the individual. . courtship and marriage.--last of all, parental care in the use of whatever influence can be exerted in the matter of courtship and marriage. maidens, as well as youths, must, after all, choose for themselves. it is their own lives which they take in their hands as they enter the marriage state, and not their parents'; and as the consequences affect them primarily it is the plainest justice that with the responsibility should be joined the right of choice. the parental influence, then, must be indirect and advisory. indirect, through the whole bringing up of their daughter; for if they have trained her aright, she will be incapable of enduring a fool, still more a knave. . a young woman and a young man had better not be alone together very much until they are married.--this will be found to prevent a good many troubles. it is not meant to imply that either sex, or any member of it, is worse than another, or bad at all, or anything but human. it is simply the prescription of a safe general rule. it is no more an imputation than the rule that people had better not be left without oversight in presence of large sums of other folks' money. the close personal proximity of the sexes is greatly undesirable before marriage. kisses and caresses are most properly the monopoly of wives. such indulgences have a direct and powerful physiological effect. nay, they often lead to the most fatal results. . ignorance before marriage.--at some time before marriage those who are to enter into it ought to be made acquainted with some of the plainest common-sense limitations which should govern their new relations to each other. ignorance in such matters has caused an infinite amount of disgust, pain, and unhappiness. it is not necessary to specify particulars here: see other portions of this work. * * * * * { } impregnation. [illustration: a healthy mother.] . conception or impregnation.--conception or impregnation takes place by the union of the male sperm and female sperm. whether this is accomplished in the ovaries, the oviducts or the uterus, is still a question of discussion and investigation by physiologists. . passing off the ovum.--"with many woman," says dr. stockham in her tokology, "the ovum passes off within twenty-four or forty-eight hours after menstruation begins. some, by careful observation, are able to know with certainty when this takes place. it is often accompanied with malaise, nervousness, headache or actual uterine pain. a minute substance like the white of an egg; with a fleck of blood in it, can frequently be seen upon the clothing. ladies who have noticed this phenomenon testify to its recurring very regularly upon the same day after menstruation. some delicate women have observed it as late as the fourteenth day." . calculations.--conception is more liable to take place either immediately before or immediately after the period, and, on that account it is usual when calculating the date at which to expect labor, to count from the day of disappearance of the last period. the easiest way to make a calculation is to count back three months from the date of the last period and add seven days; thus we might say that the date was the th of july; counting back brings us to the th of april, and adding the seven days will bring us to the th day of april, the expected time. . evidence of conception.--very many medical authorities, distinguished in this line, have stated their belief that women never pass more than two or three days at the most beyond the forty weeks conceded to pregnancy--that is two hundred and eighty days or ten lunar months, or nine calendar months and a week. about two hundred and eighty days will represent the average duration of pregnancy, counting from the last day of the last period. now it must be borne in mind, that there are many disturbing elements which might cause the young married woman to miss a time. during the first month of pregnancy there is no sign by which the condition may be positively known. the missing of a period, especially in a person who has been regular for some time, may lead one to suspect it; but there are many attendant causes in married life, the little annoyances of household duties, embarrassments, and the enforced gayety which naturally surrounds the bride, and { } these should all be taken into consideration in the discussion as to whether or not she is pregnant. but then, again, there are some rare cases who have menstruated throughout their pregnancy; and also cases where menstruation was never established and pregnancy occurred. nevertheless, the non-appearance of the period, with other signs, may be taken as presumptive evidence. . "artificial impregnation.--it may not be generally known that union is not essential to impregnation; it is possible for conception to occur without congress. all that is necessary is that seminal animalcules enter the womb and unite there with the egg or ovum. it is not essential that the semen be introduced through the medium of the male organ, as it has been demonstrated repeatedly that by means of a syringe and freshly obtained and healthy semen, impregnation can be made to follow by its careful introduction. there are physicians in france who make a specialty of "artificial impregnation," as it is called, and produce children to otherwise childless couples, being successful in many instances in supplying them as they are desired." * * * * * signs and symptoms of pregnancy. . the first sign.--the first sign that leads a lady to suspect that she is pregnant is her ceasing-to-be-unwell. this, provided she has just before been in good health, is a strong symptom of pregnancy; but still there must be others to corroborate it. . abnormal condition.--occasionally, women menstruate during the entire time of gestation. this, without doubt, is an abnormal condition, and should be remedied, as disastrous consequences may result. also, women have been known to bear children who have never menstruated. the cases are rare of pregnancy taking place where menstruation has never occurred, yet it frequently happens that women never menstruate from one pregnancy to another. in these cases this symptom is ruled out for diagnotic purposes. . may proceed from other causes.--but a ceasing-to-be-unwell may proceed from other causes than that of pregnancy, such as disease or disorder of the womb or of other { } organs of the body--especially of the lungs--it is not by itself alone entirely to be depended upon; although, as a single sign, it is, especially if the patient be healthy, one of the most reliable of all the other signs of pregnancy. . morning sickness.--if this does not arise from a disordered stomach, it is a trustworthy sign of pregnancy. a lady who has once had morning-sickness can always for the future distinguish it from each and from every other sickness; it is a peculiar sickness, which no other sickness can simulate. moreover, it is emphatically a morning-sickness--the patient being, as a rule, for the rest of the day entirely free from sickness or from the feeling of sickness. [illustration: embryo of twenty days, laid open. _b_, the back: _a_ _a_ _a_, covering, and pinned to back.] . a third symptom.--a third symptom is shooting, throbbing and lancinating pains in, and enlargement of the breasts, with soreness of the nipples, occurring about the second month. in some instances, after the first few months, a small quantity of watery fluid or a little milk, may be squeezed out of them. this latter symptom, in a first pregnancy, is valuable, and can generally be relied on as fairly conclusive of pregnancy. milk in the breast, however small it may be in quantity, especially in a first pregnancy, is a reliable sign, indeed, we might say, a certain sign, of pregnancy. . a dark brown areola or mark around the nipple is one of the distinguishing signs of pregnancy--more especially of a first pregnancy. women who have had large families, seldom, even when they are not pregnant, lose this mark entirely; but when they are pregnant it is more intensely dark--the darkest brown--especially if they be brunettes. . quickening.--quickening is one of the most important signs of pregnancy, and one of the most valuable, as at the moment it occurs, as a rule, the motion of the child is first felt, whilst, at the same time, there is a sudden increase in the size of the abdomen. quickening is a proof that nearly half the time of pregnancy has passed. if there be a { } liability to miscarry, quickening makes matters more safe, as there is less likelihood of a miscarriage after than before it. a lady at this time frequently feels faint or actually faints away; she is often giddy, or sick, or nervous, and in some instances even hysterically; although, in rare cases, some women do not even know the precise time when they quicken. . increased size and hardness of the abdomen.--this is very characteristic of pregnancy. when a lady is not pregnant the abdomen is soft and flaccid; when she is pregnant, and after she has quickened, the abdomen; over the region of the womb, is hard and resisting. [illustration: embryo at thirty days. _a_, the head; _b_, the eyes; _d_, the neck; _e_, the chest; _f_, the abdomen.] . excitability of mind.--excitability of mind is very common in pregnancy, more especially if the patient be delicate; indeed, excitability is a sign of debility, and requires plenty of good nourishment, but few stimulants. . eruptions on the skin.--principally on the face, neck, or throat, are tell-tales of pregnancy, and to an experienced matron, publish the fact that an acquaintance thus marked is pregnant. { } . the foetal heart.--in the fifth month there is a sign which, if detected, furnishes indubitable evidence of conception, and that is the sound of the child's heart. if the ear be placed on the abdomen, over the womb, the beating of the foetal heart can sometimes be heard quite plainly, and by the use of an instrument called the stethoscope, the sounds can be still more plainly heard. this is a very valuable sign, inasmuch as the presence of the child is not only ascertained, but also its position, and whether there are twins or more. [illustration: our king.] { } [illustration] diseases of pregnancy. . costive state of the bowels.--a costive state of the bowels is common in pregnancy; a mild laxative is therefore occasionally necessary. the mildest must be selected, as a strong purgative is highly improper, and even dangerous. calomel and all other preparations of mercury are to be especially avoided, as a mercurial medicine is apt to weaken the system, and sometimes even to produce a miscarriage. let me again urge the importance of a lady, during the whole period of pregnancy, being particular as to the state of her bowels, as costiveness is a fruitful cause of painful, tedious and hard labors. . laxatives.--the best laxatives are castor oil, salad oil, compound rhubarb pills, honey, stewed prunes, stewed rhubarb, muscatel raisins, figs, grapes, roasted apples, baked pears, stewed normandy pippins, coffee, brown-bread and treacle. scotch oatmeal made with new milk or water, or with equal parts of milk and water. . pills.--when the motions are hard, and when the bowels are easily acted upon, two, or three, or four pills made of castile soap will frequently answer the purpose; and if they will, are far better than any other ordinary laxative. the following is a good form. take of: castile soap, five scruples; oil of caraway, six drops; to make twenty-four pills. two, or three, or four to be taken at bedtime, occasionally. . honey.--a teaspoonful of honey, either eaten at breakfast or dissolved in a cup of tea, will frequently, comfortably and effectually, open the bowels, and will supersede the necessity of taking laxative medicine. . nature's medicines.--now, nature's medicines--exercise in the open air, occupation, and household duties--on the contrary, not only at the time open the bowels, but keep up a proper action for the future; hence their inestimable superiority. { } . warm water injections.--an excellent remedy for costiveness of pregnancy is an enema, either of warm water, or of castile soap and water, which the patient, by means of a self-injecting enema-apparatus, may administer to herself. the quantity of warm water to be used, is from half a pint to a pint; the proper heat is the temperature of new milk; the time for administering it is early in the morning, twice or three times a week. . muscular pains of the abdomen.--the best remedy is an abdominal belt constructed for pregnancy, and adjusted with proper straps and buckles to accomodate the gradually increasing size of the womb. this plan often affords great comfort and relief; indeed, such a belt is indispensably necessary. . diarrhoea.--although the bowels in pregnancy are generally costive, they are sometimes in an opposite state, and are relaxed. now, this relaxation is frequently owing to there having been prolonged constipation, and nature is trying to relieve herself by purging. do not check it, but allow it to have its course, and take a little rhubarb or magnesia. the diet should be simple, plain, and nourishing, and should consist of beef tea, chicken broth, arrowroot, and of well-made and well-boiled oatmeal gruel. butcher's meat, for a few days, should not be eaten; and stimulants of all kinds must be avoided. . fidgets.--a pregnant lady sometimes suffers severely from "fidgets"; it generally affects her feet and legs, especially at night, so as to entirely destroy her sleep; she cannot lie still; she every few minutes moves, tosses and tumbles about--first on one side, then on the other. the causes of "fidgets" are a heated state of the blood; an irritable condition of the nervous system, prevailing at that particular time; and want of occupation. the treatment of "fidgets" consists of: sleeping in a well-ventilated apartment, with either window or door open; a thorough ablution of the whole body every morning, and a good washing with tepid water of the face, neck, chest, arms and hands every night; shunning hot and close rooms; taking plenty of out-door exercise; living on a bland, nourishing, but not rich diet; avoiding meat at night, and substituting in lieu thereof, either a cupful of arrow-root made with milk, or of well-boiled oatmeal gruel. . exercise.--if a lady, during the night, have the "fidgets," she should get out of bed; take a short walk up and down the room, being well protected by a dressing-gown; empty her bladder; turn her pillow, so as to have { } the cold side next the head; and then lie down again; and the chances are that she will now fall asleep. if during the day she have the "fidgets," a ride in an open carriage; or a stroll in the garden, or in the fields; or a little housewifery, will do her good, and there is nothing like fresh air, exercise, and occupation to drive away "the fidgets." . heartburn.--heartburn is a common and often a distressing symptom of pregnancy. the acid producing the heartburn is frequently much increased by an overloaded stomach. an abstemious diet ought to be strictly observed. great attention should be paid to the quality of the food. greens, pastry, hot buttered toast, melted butter, and everything that is rich and gross, ought to be carefully avoided. either a teaspoonful of heavy calcined magnesia, or half a teaspoonful of carbonate of soda--the former to be preferred if there be constipation--should occasionally be taken in a wine-glassful of warm water. if these do not relieve--the above directions as to diet having been strictly attended to--the following mixture ought to be tried. take of: carbonate of ammonia, half a drachm; bicarbonate of soda, a drachm and a half; water, eight ounces; to make a mixture: two tablespoonfuls to be taken twice or three times a day, until relief be obtained. . wind in the stomach and bowels.--this is a frequent reason why a pregnant lady cannot sleep at night. the two most frequent causes of flatulence are, first, the want of walking exercise during the day, and second, the eating of a hearty meal just before going to bed at night. the remedies are, of course, in each instance, self-evident. . swollen legs from enlarged veins (varicose veins.)--the veins are frequently much enlarged and distended, causing the legs to be greatly swollen and very painful, preventing the patient from taking proper walking exercise. swollen legs are owing to the pressure of the womb upon the blood-vessels above. women who have had large families are more liable than others to varicose veins. if a lady marry late in life, or if she be very heavy in pregnancy--carrying the child low down--she is more likely to have distention of the veins. the best plan will be for her to wear during the day an elastic stocking, which ought to be made on purpose for her, in order that it may properly fit the leg and foot. . stretching of the skin of the abdomen.--this is frequently, in a first pregnancy, distressing, from the { } soreness it causes. the best remedy is to rub the abdomen, every night and morning, with warm camphorated oil, and to wear a belt during the day and a broad flannel bandage at night, both of which should be put on moderately but comfortably tight. the belt must be secured in its situation by means of properly adjusted straps. . before the approach of labor.--the patient, before the approach of labor, ought to take particular care to have the bowels gently opened, as during that state a costive state greatly increases her sufferings, and lengthens the period of her labor. a gentle action is all that is necessary; a violent one would do more harm than good. . swollen and painful breasts.--the breasts are, at times, during pregnancy, much swollen and very painful and, now and then, they cause the patient great uneasiness as she fancies that she is going to have either some dreadful tumor or a gathering of the bosom. there need, in such a case, be no apprehension. the swelling and the pain are the consequences of the pregnancy, and will in due time subside without any unpleasant result. for treatment she cannot do better than rub them well, every night and morning, with equal parts of eau de cologne and olive oil, and wear a piece of new flannel over them; taking care to cover the nipples with soft linen, as the friction of the flannel might irritate them. . bowel complaints.--bowel complaints, during pregnancy, are not unfrequent. a dose either of rhubarb and magnesia, or of castor oil, are the best remedies, and are generally, in the way of medicine, all that is necessary. . cramps.--cramps of the legs and of the thighs during the latter period, and especially at night, are apt to attend pregnancy, and are caused by the womb pressing upon the nerves which extend to the lower extremities. treatment.--tightly tie a handkerchief, folded like a neckerchief, round the limb a little above the part affected, and let it remain on for a few minutes. friction by means of the hand either with opodeldoc or with laudanum, taking care not to drink the lotion by mistake, will also give relief. [illustration: a precious flower.] . the whites.--the whites during pregnancy, especially during the latter months, and particularly if the lady have had many children, are frequently troublesome, and are, in a measure, occasioned by the pressure of the womb on the parts below, causing irritation. the best way, therefore, to obviate such pressure is for the patient to lie down a great part of each day either on a bed or a sofa. she ought to retire early to rest; she should sleep on a hard { } mattress and in a well-ventilated apartment, and should not overload her bed with clothes. a thick, heavy quilt at these times, and indeed at all times, is particularly objectionable; the perspiration cannot pass readily through it as through blankets, and thus she is weakened. she ought to live on plain, wholesome, nourishing food; and she must abstain from beer and wine and spirits. the bowels ought to be gently opened by means of a seidlitz powder, which should occasionally be taken early in the morning. . irritation and itching of the external parts.--this a most troublesome affection, and may occur at any time, but more especially during the latter period of the pregnancy. let her diet be simple and nourishing; let her avoid stimulants of all kinds. let her take a sitz-bath of warm water, considerably salted. let her sit in the bath with the body thoroughly covered. . hot and inflamed.--the external parts, and the passage to the womb (vagina), in these cases, are not only irritable and itching, but are sometimes hot and inflamed, and are covered either with small pimples, or with a whitish exudation of the nature of aphtha (thrush), somewhat similar to the thrush on the mouth of an infant; then, the addition of glycerine to the lotion is a great improvement and usually gives much relief. . [ ]biliousness is defined by some one as piggishness. generally it may be regarded as _overfed_. the elements of the bile are in the blood in excess of the power of the liver to eliminate them. this may be caused either from the superabundance of the materials from which the bile is made or by inaction of the organ itself. being thus retained the system is _clogged_. it is the result of either too much food in quantity or too rich in quality. especially is it caused by the excessive use of _fats and sweets_. the simplest remedy is the best. a plain, light diet with plenty of acid fruits, avoiding fats and sweets, will ameliorate or remove it. don't force the appetite. let hunger demand food. in the morning the sensitiveness of the stomach may be relieved by taking before rising a cup of hot water, hot milk, hot lemonade, rice or barley water, selecting according to preference. for this purpose many find coffee made from browned wheat or corn the best drink. depend for a time upon liquid food that can be taken up by absorbents. the juice of lemons and other acid fruits is usually grateful, and { } assists in assimilating any excess in nutriment. these may be diluted according to taste. with many, an egg lemonade proves relishing and acceptable. . deranged appetite.--where the appetite fails, let the patient go without eating for a little while, say for two or three meals. if, however, the strength begins to go, try the offering of some unexpected delicacy; or give small quantities of nourishing food, as directed in case of morning sickness. . piles.--for cases of significance consult a physician. as with constipation, so with piles, its frequent result, fruit diet, exercise, and sitz-bath regimen will do much to prevent the trouble. frequent local applications of a cold compress, and even of ice, and tepid water injections, are of great service. walking or standing aggravate this complaint. lying down alleviates it. dr. shaw says, "there is nothing in the world that will produce so great relief in piles as fasting. if the fit is severe, live a whole day, or even two, if necessary, upon pure soft cold water alone. give then very lightly of vegetable food." . toothache.--there is a sort of proverb that a woman loses one tooth every time she has a child. neuralgic toothache during pregnancy is, at any rate, extremely common, and often has to be endured. it is generally thought not best to have teeth extracted during pregnancy, as the shock to the nervous system has sometimes caused miscarriage. to wash out the mouth morning and night with cold or lukewarm water and salt is often of use. if the teeth are decayed, consult a good dentist in the early stages of pregnancy, and have the offending teeth properly dressed. good dentists, in the present state of the science, extract very few teeth, but save them. . salivation.--excessive secretion of the saliva has usually been reckoned substantially incurable. fasting, cold water treatment, exercise and fruit diet may be relied on to prevent, cure or alleviate it, where this is possible, as it frequently is. . headache.--this is, perhaps, almost as common in cases of pregnancy as "morning sickness." it may be from determination of blood to the head, from constipation or indigestion, constitutional "sick headache," from neuralgia, from a cold, from rheumatism. correct living will prevent much headache trouble; and where this does not answer the purpose, rubbing and making magnetic passes over the { } head by the hand of some healthy magnetic person will often prove of great service. . liver-spots.--these, on the face, must probably be endured, as no trustworthy way of driving them off is known. . jaundice.--see the doctor. . pain on the right side.--this is liable to occur from about the fifth to the eighth month, and is attributed to the pressure of the enlarging womb upon the liver. proper living is most likely to alleviate it. wearing a wet girdle in daytime or a wet compress at night, sitz-baths, and friction with the wet hand may also be tried. if the pain is severe a mustard poultice may be used. exercise should be carefully moderated if found to increase the pain. if there is fever and inflammation with it, consult a physician. it is usually not dangerous, but uncomfortable only. . palpitation of the heart.--to be prevented by healthy living and calm, good humor. lying down will often gradually relieve it, so will a compress wet with water, as hot as can be borne, placed over the heart and renewed as often as it gets cool. . fainting.--most likely to be caused by "quickening," or else by tight dress, bad air, over-exertion, or other unhealthy living. it is not often dangerous. lay the patient in an easy posture, the head rather low than high, and where cool air may blow across the face; loosen the dress if tight; sprinkle cold water on the face and hands. . sleeplessness.--most likely to be caused by incorrect living, and to be prevented and cured by the opposite. a glass or two of cold water drank deliberately on going to bed often helps one to go to sleep; so does bathing the face and hands and the feet in cold water. a short nap in the latter part of the forenoon can sometimes be had, and is of use. such a nap ought not to be too long, or it leaves a heavy feeling; it should be sought with the mind in a calm state, in a well-ventilated though darkened room, and with the clothing removed, as at night. a similar nap in the afternoon is not so good, but is better than nothing. the tepid sitz-bath on going to bed will often produce sleep, and so will gentle percussion given by an attendant with palms of the hand over the back for a few minutes on retiring. to secure sound sleep do not read, write or severely tax the mind in the evening. { } [illustration] morning sickness. . a pregnant woman is especially liable to suffer many forms of dyspepsia, nervous troubles, sleeplessness, etc. . morning sickness is the most common and is the result of an irritation in the womb, caused by some derangement, and it is greatly irritated by the habit of indulging in sexual gratification during pregnancy. if people would imitate the lower animals and reserve the vital forces of the mother for the benefit of her unborn child, it would be a great boon to humanity. morning sickness may begin the next day after conception, but it usually appears from two to three weeks after the beginning of pregnancy and continues with more or less severity from two to four months. . home treatment for morning sickness.--avoid all highly seasoned and rich food. also avoid strong tea and coffee. eat especially light and simple suppers at five o'clock and no later than six. some simple broths, such as will be found in the cooking department of this book will be very nourishing and soothing. coffee made from brown wheat or corn is an excellent remedy to use. the juice of lemons reduced with water will sometimes prove very effectual. a good lemonade with an egg well stirred is very nourishing and toning to the stomach. . hot fomentation on the stomach and liver is excellent, and warm and hot water injections are highly beneficial. . a little powdered magnesia at bed time, taken in a little milk, will often give almost permanent relief. . avoid corsets or any other pressure upon the stomach. all garments must be worn loosely. in many cases this will entirely prevent all stomach disturbances. * * * * * { } relation of husband and wife during pregnancy. . miscarriage.--if the wife is subject to miscarriage every precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again. under such exceptional circumstances the husband should sleep apart the first five months of pregnancy; after that length of time, the ordinary relation may be assumed. if miscarriage has taken place, intercourse should be avoided for a month or six weeks at least after the accident. . impregnation--impregnation is the only mission of intercourse, and after that has taken place, intercourse can subserve no other purpose than sensual gratification. . woman must judge.--every man should recognize the fact that woman is the sole umpire as to when, how frequent, and under what circumstances, connection should take place. her desires should not be ignored, for her likes and dislikes are--as seen in another part of this book--easily impressed upon the unborn child. if she is strong and healthy there is no reason why passion should not be gratified with moderation and caution during the whole period of pregnancy, but she must be the sole judge and her desires supreme. . voluntary instances.--no voluntary instances occur through the entire animal kingdom. all females repel with force and fierceness the approaches of the male. the human family is the only exception. a man that loves his wife, however, will respect her under all circumstances and recognize her condition and yield to her wishes. [illustration] { } a private word to the expectant mother [illustration] elizabeth cady stanton, in a lecture to ladies, thus strongly states her views regarding maternity and painless childbirth: "we must educate our daughters to think that motherhood is grand, and that god never cursed it. and this curse, if it be a curse, may be rolled off, as man has rolled away the curse of labor; as the curse has been rolled from the descendants of ham. my mission is to preach this new gospel. if you suffer, it is not because you are cursed of god, but because you violate his laws. what an incubus it would take from woman could she be educated to know that the pains of maternity are no curse upon her kind. we know that among the indians the squaws do not suffer in childbirth. they will step aside from the ranks, even on the march, and return in a short time to them with the newborn child. what an absurdity then, to suppose that only enlightened christian women are cursed. but one word of fact is worth a volume of philosophy; let me give you some of my own experience. i am the mother of seven children. my girlhood was spent mostly in the open air. i early imbibed the idea that a girl was just as good as a boy, and i carried it out. i would walk five miles before breakfast or { } ride ten on horseback. after i was married i wore my clothing sensibly. their weight hung entirely on my shoulders. i never compressed my body out of its natural shape. when my first four children were born, i suffered very little. i then made up my mind that it was totally unnecessary for me to suffer at all; so i dressed lightly, walked every day, lived as much as possible in the open air, ate no condiments or spices, kept quiet, listened to music, looked at pictures, and took proper care of myself. the night before the birth of the child i walked three miles. the child was born without a particle of pain. i bathed it and dressed it, and it weighed ten and one-half pounds. that same day i dined with the family. everybody said i would surely die, but i never had a relapse or a moment's inconvenience from it. i know this is not being delicate and refined, but if you would be vigorous and healthy, in spite of the diseases of your ancestors, and your own disregard of nature's laws, try it." * * * * * shall pregnant women work? . over-worked mothers.--children born of over-worked mothers, are liable to be a dwarfed and puny race. however, their chances are better than those of the children of inactive, dependent, indolent mothers who have neither brain nor muscle to transmit to son or daughter. the truth seems to be that excessive labor, with either body or mind, is alike injurious to both men and women, and herein lies the sting of that old curse. this paragraph suggests all that need be said on the question whether pregnant women should or should not labor. . foolishly idle.--at least it is certain that they should not be foolishly idle; and on the other hand, it is equally certain that they should be relieved from painful laborious occupations that exhaust and unfit them for happiness. pleasant and useful physical and intellectual occupation, however, will not only do no harm, but positive good. . the best man and the best woman.--the best man is he who can rear the best child, and the best woman is she who can rear the best child. we very properly extol to the skies harriet hosmer, the artist, for cutting in marble the statue of a zenobia, how much more should we sing praises to the man and the woman who bring into the world a noble boy or girl. the one is a piece of lifeless beauty, the other a piece of life including all beauty, all possibilities. * * * * * { } words for young mothers. [illustration] the act of nursing is sometimes painful to the mother, especially before the habit is fully established. the discomfort is greatly increased if the skin that covers the nipples is tender and delicate. the suction pulls it off, leaving them in a state in which the necessary pressure of the child's lips cause intense agony. this can be prevented in a great measure, says elizabeth robinson scovil, in _ladies' home journal_, if not entirely, by bathing the nipples twice a day for six weeks before the confinement with powdered alum dissolved in alcohol; or salt dissolved in brandy. if there is any symptom of the skin cracking when the child begins to nurse, they should be painted with a mixture of tannin and glycerine. this must be washed off before the baby touches them and renewed when it leaves them. if they are { } very painful, the doctor will probably order morphia added to the mixture. a rubber nipple shield to be put on at the time of nursing, is a great relief. if the nipples are retracted or drawn inward, they can be drawn out painlessly by filling a pint bottle with boiling water, emptying it and quickly applying the mouth over the nipple. as the air in the bottle cools, it condenses, leaving a vacuum and the nipple is pushed out by the air behind it. when the milk accumulates or "cakes" in the breast in hard patches, they should be rubbed very gently, from the base upwards, with warm camphorated oil. the rubbing should be the lightest, most delicate stroking, avoiding pressure. if lumps appear at the base of the breast and it is red, swollen and painful, cloths wrung out of cold water should be applied and the doctor sent for. while the breast is full and hard all over, not much apprehension need be felt. it is when lumps appear that the physician should be notified, that he may, if possible, prevent the formation of abscesses. while a woman is nursing she should eat plenty of nourishing food--milk, oatmeal, cracked wheat, and good juicy, fresh meat, boiled, roasted, or broiled, but not fried. between each meal, before going to bed, and once during the night, she should take a cup of cocoa, gruel made with milk, good beef tea, mutton broth, or any warm, nutritive drink. tea and coffee are to be avoided. it is important to keep the digestion in order and the bowels should be carefully regulated as a means to this end. if necessary, any of the laxative mineral waters can be used for this purpose, or a teaspoonful of compound licorice powder taken at night. powerful cathartic medicines should be avoided because of their effect upon the baby. the child should be weaned at nine months old, unless this time comes in very hot weather, or the infant is so delicate that a change of food would be injurious. if the mother is not strong her nurseling will sometimes thrive better upon artificial food than on its natural nourishment. by gradually lengthening the interval between the nursing and feeding the child, when it is hungry, the weaning can be accomplished without much trouble. a young mother should wear warm underclothing, thick stockings and a flannel jacket over her night dress, unless she is in the habit of wearing an under vest. if the body is not protected by warm clothing there is an undue demand upon the nervous energy to keep up the vital heat, and nerve force is wasted by the attempt to compel the system to do what ought to be done for it by outside means. [illustration] { } how to have beautiful children. [illustration] . parental influence.--the art of having handsome children has been a question that has interested the people of all ages and of all nationalities. there is no longer a question as to the influence that parents may and do exert upon their offspring, and it is shown in other parts of this book that beauty depends largely on the condition of health at the time of conception. it is therefore of no little moment that parents should guard carefully their own health as well as that of their children, that they may develop a vigorous constitution. there cannot be beauty without good health. . marrying too early.--we know that marriage at too early an age, or too late in life, is apt to produce imperfectly { } developed children, both mentally and physically. the causes are self-evident: a couple marrying too young, they lack maturity and consequently will impart weakness to their offspring; while on the other hand persons marrying late in life fail to find that normal condition which is conducive to the health and vigor of offspring. . crossing of temperaments and nationalities.--the crossing of temperaments and nationalities beautifies offspring. if young persons of different nationalities marry, their children under proper hygienic laws are generally handsome and healthy. for instance, an american and german or an irish and german uniting in marriage, produces better looking children than those marrying in the same nationality. persons of different temperaments uniting in marriage, always produces a good effect upon offspring. . the proper time.--to obtain the best results, conception should take place only when both parties are in the best physical condition. if either parent is in any way indisposed at the time of conception the results will be seen in the health of the child. many children brought in the world with diseases or other infirmities stamped upon their feeble frames show the indiscretion and ignorance of parents. . during pregnancy.--during pregnancy the mother should take time for self improvement and cultivate an interest for admiring beautiful pictures or engravings which represent cheerful and beautiful figures. secure a few good books illustrating art, with some fine representations of statues and other attractive pictures. the purchase of several illustrated art journals might answer the purpose. . what to avoid.--pregnant mothers should avoid thinking of ugly people, or those marked by any deformity or disease; avoid injury, fright and disease of any kind. also avoid ungraceful position and awkward attitude, but cultivate grace and beauty in herself. avoid difficulty with neighbors or other trouble. . good care.--she should keep herself in good physical condition, and the system well nourished, as a want of food always injures the child. . the improvement of the mind.--the mother should read suitable articles in newspapers or good books, keep her mind occupied. if she cultivates a desire for intellectual improvement, the same desire will be more or less manifested in the growth and development of the child. { } . like produces like, everywhere and always--in general forms and in particular features--in mental qualities and in bodily conditions--in tendencies of thought and in habits of action. let this grand truth be deeply impressed upon the hearts of all who desire or expect to become parents. . heredity.--male children generally inherit the peculiar traits and diseases of the mother and female children those of the father. . advice.--"therefore it is urged that during the period of utero-gestation, especial pains should be taken to render the life of the female as harmonious as possible, that her surroundings should all be of a nature calculated to inspire the mind with thoughts of physical and mental beauties and perfections, and that she should be guarded against all influences, of whatever character, having a deteriorating tendency." [illustration] { } education of the child in the womb. "a lady once interviewed a prominent college president and asked him when the education of a child should begin. 'twenty-five years before it is born,' was the prompt reply." no better answer was ever given to that question. every mother may well consider it. [illustration: the beautiful butterfly.] . the unborn child affected by the thoughts and the surroundings of the mother.--that the child is affected in the womb of the mother, through the influences apparently connected with objects by which she is surrounded, appears to have been well known in ancient days, as well as at the present time. . evidences.--many evidences are found in ancient history, especially among the refined nations, showing that certain expedients were resorted to by which their females, during the period of utero-gestation, were surrounded by the superior refinements of the age, with the hope of thus making upon them impressions which should have the effect of communicating certain desired qualities to the offspring. for this reason apartments were adorned with statuary and paintings, and special pains were taken not only to convey favorable impressions, but also to guard against unfavorable ones being made, upon the mind of the pregnant woman. . hankering after gin.--a certain mother while pregnant, longed for gin, which could not be gotten; and her child cried incessantly for six weeks till gin was given it, which it eagerly clutched and drank with ravenous greediness, stopped crying, and became healthy. . begin to educate children at conception, and continue during their entire carriage. yet maternal study, of little account before the sixth, after it, is most promotive of talents; which, next to goodness are the father's joy and the mother's pride. what pains are taken after they are born, to render them prodigies of learning, by the best of schools and teachers from their third year; whereas their mother's study, three months before their birth, would improve their intellects infinitely more. . mothers, does god thus put the endowment of your darlings into your moulding power? then tremble in view of its necessary responsibilities, and learn how to wield them for their and your temporal and eternal happiness. { } . qualities of the mind.--the qualities of the mind are perhaps as much liable to hereditary transmission as bodily configuration. [illustration] memory, intelligence, judgment, imagination, passions, diseases, and what is usually called genius, are often very markedly traced in the offspring.--i have known mental impressions forcibly impressed upon the offspring at the time of conception, as concomitant of some peculiar eccentricity, idiosyncracy, morbidness, waywardness, irritability, or proclivity of either one or both parents. . the plastic brain.--the plastic brain of the foetus is prompt to receive all impressions. it retains them, and they become the characteristics of the child and the man. low spirits, violent passions, irritability, frivolity, in the pregnant woman, leave indelible marks on the unborn child. . formation of character.--i believe that pre-natal influences may do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after, and that mothers may, in a measure, "will," what that influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, it will be more and more under their control. in that, as in everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the other. . a historical illustration.--a woman rode side by side with her soldier husband, and witnessed the drilling of troops for battle. the scene inspired her with a deep longing to see a battle and share in the excitements of the { } conquerors. this was but a few months before her boy was born, and his name was napoleon. . a musician.--the following was reported by dr. f. w. moffatt, in the mother's own language: "when i was first pregnant, i wished my offspring to be a musician, so, during the period of that pregnancy, settled my whole mind on music, and attended every musical entertainment i possibly could. i had my husband, who has a violin, to play for me by the hour. when the child was born, it was a girl, which grew and prospered, and finally became an expert musician." . murderous intent.--the mother of a young man, who was hung not long ago, was heard to say: "i tried to get rid of him before he was born; and, oh, how i wish now that i had succeeded!" she added that it was the only time she had attempted anything of the sort; but, because of home troubles, she became desperate, and resolved that her burdens should not be made any greater. does it not seem probable that the murderous intent, even though of short duration, was communicated to the mind of the child, and resulted in the crime for which he was hung? . the assassin of garfield.--guiteau's father was a man of integrity and considerable intellectual ability. his children were born in quick succession, and the mother was obliged to work very hard. before this child was born, she resorted to every means, though unsuccessful, to produce abortion. the world knows the result. guiteau's whole life was full of contradictions. there was little self-controlling power in him; no common sense, and not a vestige of remorse or shame. in his wild imagination, he believed himself capable of doing the greatest work, and of filling the loftiest station in life. who will dare question that this mother's effort to destroy him while in embryo was the main cause in bringing him to the level of the brutes? . caution.--any attempt, on the part of the mother, to destroy her child before birth, is liable, if unsuccessful, to produce murderous tendencies. even harboring murderous thoughts, whether toward her own child or not, might be followed by similar results. "the great king of kings hath in the table of his law commanded that thou shalt do no murder. wilt thou, then, spurn at his edict, and fulfill a man's? take heed, for he holds vengeance in his hand to hurl upon their heads that break his law."--richard iii., _act ._ * * * * * { } how to calculate the time of expected labor. [illustration: the embryo in sixty days.] . the table on the opposite page has been very accurately compiled, and will be very helpful to those who desire the exact time. . the duration of pregnancy is from to days, or nearly forty weeks. the count should be made from the beginning of the last menstruation, and add eight days on account of the possibility of it occurring within that period the heavier the child the longer is the duration; the younger the woman the longer time it often requires. the duration is longer in married than in unmarried women; the duration is liable to be longer if the child is a female. . movement.--the first movement is generally felt on the th day after impregnation. . growth of the embryo.--about the twentieth day the embryo resembles the appearance of an ant or lettuce seed; the th day the embryo is as large as a common horse fly; the th day the form resembles that of a person; in sixty days the limbs begin to form, and in four months the embryo takes the name of foetus. . children born after seven or eight months can survive and develop to maturity. * * * * * { } duration of pregnancy. directions.--find in the upper horizontal line the date on which the last menstruation ceased; the figure beneath gives the date of expected confinement ( days). ________________________________________________________________ |jan. | | |oct. | | | | | |feb. | | |nov. | | | | | |mar. | | |dec. | | | | | |apr. | | |jan. | | | | | |may | | |feb. | | | | | |june | | |mar. | | | | | |july | | |apr. | | | | | |aug. | | |may | | | | | |sept.| | |june | | | | | |oct. | | |july | | | | | |nov. | | |aug. | | | | | |dec. | | |sep. | | ________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ jan. | | | oct. | |nov. | | | | feb. | | | nov. | |dec. | | | | mar. | | | dec. | |jan. | | | | apr. | | | jan. | |feb. | | | | may | | | feb. | |mar. | | | | june | | | mar. | |apr. | | | | july | | | apr. | |may | | | | aug. | | | may | |june | | | | sept.| | | june | |july | | | | oct. | | | july | |aug. | | | | nov. | | | aug. | |sep. | | | | dec. | | | sep. | |oct. | _________________________________________________| [illustration: _"the house we live in" for nine months: showing the ample room provided by nature when uncontracted by inherited inferiority of form or artificial dressing._] [illustration: _a contracted pelvis. deformity and insufficient space._] { } . this is what dr. stockham says: "if women had _common sense_, instead of _fashion sense_, the corset would not exist. there are not words in the english language to express my convictions upon this subject. the corset more than any other one thing is responsible for woman's being the victim of disease and doctors.... "what is the effect upon the child? one-half of the children born in this country die before they are five years of age. who can tell how much this state of things is due to the enervation of maternal life forces by the one instrument of torture? "i am a temperance woman. no one can realize more than i the devastation and ruin alcohol in its many tempting forms has brought to the human family. still i solemnly believe that in weakness and deterioration of health, the corset has more to answer for than intoxicating drinks." when asked how far advanced a woman should be in pregnancy before she laid aside her corset, dr. stockham said with emphasis: "_the corset should not be worn for two hundred years before pregnancy takes place._ ladies, it will take that time at least to overcome the ill-effect of tight garments which you think so essential." . painless pregnancy and child-birth.--"some excellent popular volumes," says dr. haff, "have been largely devoted to directions how to secure a comfortable period of pregnancy and painless delivery. after much conning of these worthy efforts to impress a little common sense upon the sisterhood, we are convinced that all may be summed up under the simple heads of: ( ) an unconfined and lightly burdened waist; ( ) moderate but persistent outdoor exercise, of which walking is the best form; ( ) a plain, unstimulating, chiefly fruit and vegetable diet; ( ) little or no intercourse during the time. "these are hygienic rules of benefit under any ordinary conditions; yet they are violated by almost every pregnant lady. if they are followed, biliousness, indigestion, constipation, swollen limbs, morning sickness and nausea--all will absent themselves or be much lessened. in pregnancy, more than at any other time, corsets are injurious. the waist and abdomen must be allowed to expand freely with the growth of the child. the great process of _evolution_ must have room." . in addition, we can do no better than quote the following recapitulation by dr. stockham in her famous { } tokology: "to give a woman the greatest immunity from suffering during pregnancy, prepare her for a safe and comparatively easy delivery, and insure a speedy recovery, all hygienic conditions must be observed. "the dress must give: " . freedom of movement; " . no pressure upon any part of the body; " . no more weight than is essential for warmth, and both weight and warmth evenly distributed. "these requirements necessitate looseness, lightness and warmth, which can be obtained from the union underclothes, a princess skirt and dress, with a shoe that allows full development and use of the foot. while decoration and elegance are desirable, they should not sacrifice comfort and convenience. . "let the diet be light, plain and nutritious. avoid fats and sweets, relying mainly upon fruits and grain that contain little of the mineral salts. by this diet bilious and inflammatory conditions are overcome, the development of bone in the foetus lessened, and muscles necessary in labor nourished and strengthened. . "exercise should be sufficient and of such a character as will bring into action gently every muscle of the body; but must particularly develop the muscles of the trunk, abdomen and groin, that are specially called into action in labor. exercise, taken faithfully and systematically, more than any other means assists assimilative processes and stimulates the organs of excretion to healthy action. . "bathing must be frequent and regular. unless in special conditions the best results are obtained from tepid or cold bathing, which invigorates the system and overcomes nervousness. the sitz-bath is the best therapeutic and hygienic measure within the reach of the pregnant woman. "therefore, to establish conditions which will overcome many previous infractions of law, _dress_ naturally and physiologically; _live_ much of the time _out of doors_; have _abundance_ of _fresh air_ in the house; let _exercise_ be _sufficient_ and _systematic_; pursue a _diet of fruit_, rice and vegetables; _regular rest_ must be faithfully taken; _abstain_ from the sexual relation. to those who will commit themselves to this course of life, patiently and persistently carrying it out through the period of gestation, the possibilities of attaining a healthy, natural, painless parturition will be remarkably increased. { } . "if the first experiment should not result in a painless labor, it without doubt will prove the beginning of sound health. persisted in through years of married life, the ultimate result will be more and more closely approximated, while there will be less danger of diseases after childbirth and better and more vigorous children will be produced. "then pregnancy by every true woman will be desired, and instead of being a period of disease, suffering and direful forebodings, will become a period of health, exalted pleasure and holiest anticipations. motherhood will be deemed the choicest of earth's blessings; women will rejoice in a glad maternity and for any self-denial will be compensated by healthy, happy, buoyant, grateful children." [illustration] { } [illustration: a happy mother.] { } solemn lessons for parents. [illustration: joan of arc.] . excessive pleasures and pains.--a woman during her time of pregnancy should of all women be most carefully tended, and kept from violent and excessive pleasures and pains; and at that time she should cultivate gentleness, benevolence and kindness. { } . hereditary effects.--those who are born to become insane do not necessarily spring from insane parents, or from any ancestry having any apparent taint of lunacy in their blood, but they do receive from their progenitors certain impressions upon their mental and moral, as well as their physical beings, which impressions, like an iron mould, fix and shape their subsequent destinies. hysteria in the mother may develop insanity in the child, while drunkenness in the father may impel epilepsy, or mania, in the son. ungoverned passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of their children, and the bad treatment of the wife may produce sickly or weak-minded children. . the influence of predominant passion may be transmitted from the parent to the child, just as surely as similarity of looks. it has been truly said that "the faculties which predominate in power and activity in the parents, when the organic existence of the child commences, determine its future mental disposition." a bad mental condition of the mother may produce serious defects upon her unborn child. . the singular effects produced on the unborn child by the sudden mental emotions of the mother are remarkable examples of a kind of electrotyping on the sensitive surfaces of living forms. it is doubtless true that the mind's action in such cases may increase or diminish the molecular deposits in the several portions of the system. the precise place which each separate particle assumes in the new organic structure may be determined by the influence of thought or feeling. perfect love and perfect harmony should exist between wife and husband during this vital period. . an illustration.--if a sudden and powerful emotion of a woman's mind exerts such an influence upon her stomach as to excite vomiting, and upon her heart as almost to arrest its motion and induce fainting, can we believe that it will have no effect upon her womb and the fragile being contained within it? facts and reason then, alike demonstrate the reality of the influence, and much practical advantage would result to both parent and child, were the conditions and extent of its operations better understood. . pregnant women should not be exposed to causes likely to distress or otherwise strongly impress their minds. a consistent life with worthy objects constantly kept in mind should be the aim and purpose of every expectant mother. { } cases cited. we selected only a few cases to illustrate the above statement. thousands of cases occur every year that might be cited to illustrate these principles. a mother cannot be too careful, and she should have the hearty co-operation and assistance of her husband. we quote the following cases from dr. pancoast's medical guide, who is no doubt one of the best authorities on the subject. . a woman bitten on the vulva by a dog, bore a child having a similar wound on the glans penis. the boy suffered from epilepsy, and when the fit came on, or during sleep, was frequently heard to cry out, "the dog bites me!" . a pregnant woman who was suddenly alarmed from seeing her husband come home with one side of his face swollen and distorted by a blow, bore a girl with a purple swelling upon the same side of the face. . a woman, who was forced to be present at the opening of a calf by a butcher, bore a child with all its bowels protruding from the abdomen. she was aware at the time of something going on within the womb. . a pregnant woman fell into a violent passion at not being able to procure a particular piece of meat of a butcher; she bled at the nose, and wiping the blood from her lips, bore a child wanting a lip. . a woman absent from home became alarmed by seeing a great fire in the direction of her own house, bore a child with a distinct mark of the flame upon its forehead. . a woman who had borne healthy children, became frightened by a beggar with a wooden leg and a stumped arm, who threatened to embrace her. her next child had one stump leg and two stump arms. . a woman frightened in her first pregnancy by the sight of a child with a hare lip, had a child with a deformity of the same kind. her second child had a deep slit, and the third a mark of a similar character or modified hare lips. in this instance the morbid mind of the mother affected several successive issues of her body. . a pregnant woman became frightened at a lizard jumping into her bosom. she bore a child with a fleshy excrescence exactly resembling a lizard, growing from the breast, adhering by the head and neck. * * * * * { } the care of new-born infants. [illustration] . the first thing to be done ordinarily is to give the little stranger a bath by using soap and warm water. to remove the white material that usually covers the child use olive oil, goose oil or lard, and apply it with a soft piece of worn flannel, and when the child is entirely clean rub all off with a fresh piece of flannel. . many physicians in the united states recommend a thorough oiling of the child with pure lard or olive oil, and then rub dry as above stated. by these means water is avoided, and with it much risk of taking cold. . the application of brandy or liquor is entirely unnecessary, and generally does more injury than good. { } . if an infant should breathe feebly, or exhibit other signs of great feebleness, it should not be washed at once, but allowed to remain quiet and undisturbed, warmly wrapped up until the vital actions have acquired a fair degree of activity. . dressing the navel.--there is nothing better for dressing the navel than absorbent antiseptic cotton. there needs be no grease or oil upon the cotton. after the separation of the cord the navel should be dressed with a little cosmoline, still using the absorbent cotton. the navel string usually separates in a week's time; it may be delayed for twice this length of time, this will make no material difference, and the rule is to allow it to drop off of its own accord. . the clothing of the infant.--the clothing of the infant should be light, soft and _perfectly_ loose. a soft flannel band is necessary _only_ until the navel is healed. afterwards discard bands entirely if you wish your babe to be happy and well. make the dresses "mother hubbard"--put on first a soft woolen shirt, then prepare the flannel skirts to hang from the neck like a slip. make one kind with sleeves and one just like it without sleeves, then white muslin skirts (if they are desired), all the same way. then baby is ready for any weather. in intense heat simply put on the one flannel slip with sleeves, leaving off the shirt. in spring and fall the shirt and skirt with no sleeves. in cold weather shirt and both skirts. these garments can be all put on at once, thus making the process of dressing very quick and easy. these are the most approved modern styles for dressing infants, and with long cashmere stockings pinned to the diapers the little feet are free to kick with no old-fashioned pinning blanket to torture the naturally active, healthy child, and retard its development. if tight bands are an injury to grown people, then in the name of pity emancipate the poor little infant from their torture! . the diaper.--diapers should be of soft linen, and great care should be exercised not to pin them too tightly. never dry them, but always wash them thoroughly before being used again. . the band need not be worn after the navel has healed so that it requires no dressing, as it serves no purpose save to keep in place the dressing of the navel. the child's body should be kept thoroughly warm around the chest, bowels and feet. give the heart and lungs plenty of room to heave. . the proper time for shortening the clothes is about three months in summer and six months in winter. { } . infant bathing.--the first week of a child's life it should not be entirely stripped and washed. it is too exhausting. after a child is over a week old it should be bathed every day; after a child is three weeks old it may be put in the water and supported with one hand while it is being washed with the other. never, however, allow it to remain too long in the water. from ten to twenty minutes is the limit. use pears' soap or castile soap, and with a sponge wipe quickly, or use a soft towel. * * * * * nursing. [illustration] . the new-born infant requires only the mother's milk. the true mother will nurse her child if it is a possibility. the infant will thrive better and have many more chances for life. . the mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully take its place. it needs no feeding for the first few days as it was commonly deemed necessary a few years ago. the secretions in the mother's breast are sufficient. . artificial food.--tokology says: "the best artificial food is cream reduced and sweetened with sugar of milk. analysis shows that human milk contains more cream and sugar and less casein than the milk of animals. { } . milk should form the basis of all preparations of food. if the milk is too strong, indigestion will follow, and the child will lose instead of gaining strength. weaning.--the weaning of the child depends much upon the strength and condition of the mother. if it does not occur in hot weather, from nine to twelve months is as long as any child should be nursed. food in weaning.--infants cry a great deal during weaning, but a few days of patient perseverance will overcome all difficulties. give the child purely a milk diet, graham bread, milk crackers and milk, or a little milk thickened with boiled rice, a little jelly, apple sauce, etc., may be safely used. cracked wheat, oatmeal, wheat germ, or anything of that kind thoroughly cooked and served with a little cream and sugar, is an excellent food. milk drawn from the breasts.--if the mother suffers considerably from the milk gathering in the breast after weaning the child, withdraw it by taking a bottle that holds about a pint or a quart, putting a piece of cloth wrung out in warm water around the bottle, then fill it with boiling water, pour the water out and apply the bottle to the breast, and the bottle cooling will form a vacuum and will withdraw the milk into the bottle. this is one of the best methods now in use. return of the menses.--if the menses return while the mother is nursing, the child should at once be weaned, for the mother's milk no longer contains sufficient nourishment. in case the mother should become pregnant while the child is nursing it should at once be weaned, or serious results will follow to the health of the child. a mother's milk is no longer sufficiently rich to nourish the child or keep it in good health. care of the bottle.--if the child is fed on the bottle, great care should be taken in keeping it absolutely clean. never use white rubber nipples. a plain form of bottle with a black rubber nipple is preferable. children should not be permitted to come to the table until two years of age. chafing.--one of the best remedies is powdered lycopodium; apply it every time the babe is cleaned; but first wash with pure castile soap; pears' soap is also good. a preparation of oxide of zinc is also highly recommended. chafing sometimes results from an acid condition of the stomach; in that case give a few doses of castoria. colic.--if an infant is seriously troubled with colic, there is nothing better than camomile or catnip tea. procure the leaves and make tea and give it as warm as the babe can bear. * * * * * { } feeding infants. . the best food for infants is mother's milk; next best is cow's milk. cow's milk contains about three times as much curd and one-half as much sugar, and it should be reduced with two parts of water. . in feeding cow's milk there is too little cream and too little sugar, and there is no doubt no better preparation than mellin's food to mix it with (according to directions). . children being fed on food lacking fat generally have their teeth come late; their muscles will be flabby and bones soft. children will be too fat when their food contains too much sugar. sugar always makes their flesh soft and flabby. . during the first two months the baby should be fed every two hours during the day, and two or three times during the night, but no more. ten or eleven feedings for twenty-four hours are all a child will bear and remain healthy. at three months the child may be fed every three hours instead of every two. . children can be taught regular habits by being fed and put to sleep at the same time every day and evening. nervous diseases are caused by irregular hours of sleep and diet, and the use of soothing medicines. . a child five or six months old should not be fed during the night--from nine in the evening until six or seven in the morning, as overfeeding causes most of the wakefulness and nervousness of children during the night. . if a child vomits soon after taking the bottle, and there is an appearance of undigested food in the stool, it is a sign of overfeeding. if a large part of the bottle has been vomited, avoid the next bottle at regular time and pass over one bottle. if the child is nursing the same principles apply. . if a child empties its bottle and sucks vigorously its fingers after the bottle is emptied, it is very evident that the child is not fed enough, and should have its food gradually increased. . give the baby a little cold water several times a day. * * * * * infantile convulsions. definition.--an infantile convulsion corresponds to a chill in an adult, and is the most common brain affection among children. causes.--anything that irritates the nervous system may cause convulsions in the child, as teething, indigestible food, worms, dropsy of the brain, hereditary constitution, or they may be the accompanying symptom in nearly all the { } acute diseases of children, or when the eruption is suppressed in eruptive diseases. symptoms.--in case of convulsions of a child parents usually become frightened, and very rarely do the things that should be done in order to afford relief. the child, previous to the fit, is usually irritable, and the twitching of the muscles of the face may be noticed, or it may come on suddenly without warning. the child becomes insensible, clenches its hands tightly, lips turn blue, and the eyes become fixed, usually frothing from the mouth with head turned back. the convulsion generally lasts two or three minutes; sometimes, however, as long as ten or fifteen minutes, but rarely. remedy.--give the child a warm bath and rub gently. clothes wrung out of cold water and applied to the lower and back part of the head and plenty of fresh air will usually relieve the convulsion. be sure and loosen the clothing around the child's neck. after the convulsion is over, give the child a few doses of potassic bromide, and an injection of castor oil if the abdomen is swollen. potassic bromide should be kept in the house, to use in case of necessity. [illustration] { } pains and ills in nursing. [illustration: the city hospital.--a homeless and friendless mother.] . sore nipples.--if a lady, during the latter few months of her pregnancy, were to adopt "means to harden the nipples," sore nipples during the period of suckling would not be so prevalent as they are. . cause.--a sore nipple is frequently produced by the injudicious custom of allowing the child to have the nipple { } almost constantly in his mouth. another frequent cause of a sore nipple is from the babe having the canker. another cause of a sore nipple is from the mother, after the babe has been sucking, putting up the nipple wet. she, therefore, ought always to dry the nipple, not by rubbing, but by dabbing it with a soft cambric or lawn handkerchief, or with a piece of soft linen rag--one or the other of which ought always to be at hand--every time directly after the child has done sucking, and just before applying any of the following powders or lotions to the nipple. . remedies.--one of the best remedies for a sore nipple is the following powder: take of--borax, one drachm; powdered starch, seven drachms. mix.--a pinch of the powder to be frequently applied to the nipple. if the above does not cure, try glycerine by applying it each time after nursing. . gathered breast.--a healthy-woman with a well-developed breast and a good nipple, scarcely, if ever, has a gathered bosom; it is the delicate, the ill-developed breasted and worse-developed nippled lady who usually suffers from this painful complaint. and why? the evil can generally be traced to girlhood. if she be brought up luxuriously, her health and her breasts are sure to be weakened, and thus to suffer, more especially if the development of the bosoms and nipples has been arrested and interfered with by tight stays and corsets. why, the nipple is by them drawn in, and retained on the level with the breast--countersunk--as though it were of no consequence to her future well-being, as though it were a thing of nought. . tight lacers.--tight lacers will have to pay the penalties of which they little dream. oh, the monstrous folly of such proceedings! when will mothers awake from their lethargy? it is high time that they did so! from the mother having "no nipple," the effects of tight lacing, many a home has been made childless, the babe not being able to procure its proper nourishment, and dying in consequence! it is a frightful state of things! but fashion, unfortunately, blinds the eyes and deafens the ears of its votaries! . bad breast.--a gathered bosom, or "bad breast," as it is sometimes called, is more likely to occur after a first confinement and during the first month. great care, therefore, ought to be taken to avoid such a misfortune. a gathered breast is frequently owing to the carelessness of a { } mother in not covering her bosoms during the time she is suckling. too much attention cannot be paid to keeping the breasts comfortably warm. this, during the act of nursing, should be done by throwing either a shawl or a square of flannel over the neck, shoulders, and bosoms. . another cause.--another cause of gathered breasts arises from a mother sitting up in bed to suckle her babe. he ought to be accustomed to take the bosom while she is lying down; if this habit is not at first instituted, it will be difficult to adopt it afterwards. good habits may be taught a child from earliest babyhood. . faintness.--when a nursing mother feels faint, she ought immediately to lie down and take a little nourishment; a cup of tea with the yolk of an egg beaten up in it, or a cup of warm milk, or some beef-tea, any of which will answer the purpose extremely well. brandy, or any other spirit we would not recommend, as it would only cause, as soon as the immediate effects of the stimulant had gone off, a greater depression to ensue; not only so, but the frequent taking of brandy might become a habit--a necessity--which would be a calamity deeply to be deplored! . strong purgatives.--strong purgatives during this period are highly improper, as they are apt to give pain to the infant, as well as to injure the mother. if it be absolutely necessary to give physic, the mildest, such as a dose of castor oil, should be chosen. . habitually costive.--when a lady who is nursing is habitually costive, she ought to eat brown instead of white bread. this will, in the majority of cases, enable her to do without an aperient. the brown bread may be made with flour finely ground all one way; or by mixing one part of bran and three parts of fine wheaten flour together, and then making it in the usual way into bread. treacle instead of butter, on the brown bread increases its efficacy as an aperient; and raw should be substituted for lump sugar in her tea. . to prevent constipation.--stewed prunes, or stewed french plums, or stewed normandy pippins, are excellent remedies to prevent constipation. the patient ought to eat, every morning, a dozen or fifteen of them. the best way to stew either prunes or french plums, is the following:--put a pound of either prunes or french plums, and two tablespoonfuls of raw sugar, into a brown jar; cover them with water; put them into a slow oven, and stew them for three or four hours. both stewed rhubarb and stewed { } pears often act as mild and gentle aperients. muscatel raisins, eaten at dessert, will oftentimes without medicine relieve the bowels. . cold water.--a tumblerful of cold water, taken early every morning, sometimes effectually relieves the bowels; indeed, few people know the value of cold water as an aperient--it is one of the best we possess, and, unlike drug aperients, can never by any possibility do any harm. an injection of warm water is one of the best ways to relieve the bowels. . well-cooked vegetables.--although a nursing mother ought, more especially if she be costive, to take a variety of well-cooked vegetables, such as potatoes, asparagus, cauliflower, french beans, spinach, stewed celery and turnips; she should avoid eating greens, cabbages, and pickles, as they would be likely to affect the babe, and might cause him to suffer from gripings, from pain, and "looseness" of the bowels. . supersede the necessity of taking physic.--let me again--for it cannot be too urgently insisted upon--strongly advise a nursing mother to use every means in the way of diet, etc., to supersede the necessity of taking physic (opening medicine), as the repetition of aperients injures, and that severely, both herself and child. moreover, the more opening medicine she swallows, the more she requires; so that if she once gets into the habit of regularly taking physic, the bowels will not act without them. what a miserable existence to be always swallowing physic! [illustration] { } home lessons in nursing sick children. [illustration: healthy youth and ripe old age.] . mismanagement.--every doctor knows that a large share of the ills to which infancy is subject are directly traceable to mismanagement. troubles of the digestive system are, for the most part due to errors, either in the selection of the food or in the preparation of it. . respiratory diseases.--respiratory diseases or the diseases of the throat and lungs have their origin, as a rule, in want of care and judgment in matters of clothing, bathing and exposure to cold and drafts. a child should always be dressed to suit the existing temperature of the weather. { } . nervous diseases.--nervous diseases are often aggravated if not caused by over-stimulation of the brain, by irregular hours of sleep, or by the use of "soothing" medicines, or eating indigestible food. . skin affections.--skin affections are generally due to want of proper care of the skin, to improper clothing or feeding, or to indiscriminate association with nurses and children, who are the carriers of contagious diseases. . permanent injury.--permanent injury is often caused by lifting the child by one hand, allowing it to fall, permitting it to play with sharp instruments, etc. . rules and principles.--every mother should understand the rules and principles of home nursing. children are very tender plants and the want of proper knowledge is often very disastrous if not fatal. study carefully and follow the principles and rules which are laid down in the different parts of this work on nursing and cooking for the sick. . what a mother should know: i. infant feeding.--the care of milk, milk sterilization, care of bottles, preparation of commonly employed infant foods, the general principles of infant feeding, with rules as to quality and frequency. ii. bathing.--the daily bath; the use of hot, cold and mustard baths. iii. hygiene of the skin. care of the mouth, eyes and ears. ventilation, temperature, cleanliness, care of napkins, etc. iv. training of children in proper bodily habits. simple means of treatment in sickness, etc. . the cry of the sick child.--the cry of the child is a language by which the character of its suffering to some extent may be ascertained. the manner in which the cry is uttered, or the pitch and tone is generally a symptom of a certain kind of disease. . stomachache.--the cry of the child in suffering with pain of the stomach is loud, excitable and spasmodic. the legs are drawn up and as the pain ceases, they are relaxed and the child sobs itself to sleep, and rests until awakened again by pain. . lung trouble.--when a child is suffering with an affection of the lungs or throat, it never cries loudly or continuously. a distress in breathing causes a sort of subdued cry and low moaning. if there is a slight cough it is generally a sign that there is some complication with the lungs. { } . disease of the brain.--in disease of the brain the cry is always sharp, short and piercing. drowsiness generally follows each spasm of pain. . fevers.--children rarely cry when suffering with fever unless they are disturbed. they should be handled very gently and spoken to in a very quiet and tender tone of voice. . the chamber of the sick room.--the room of the sick child should be kept scrupulously clean. no noise should disturb the quiet and rest of the child. if the weather is mild, plenty of fresh air should be admitted; the temperature should be kept at about degrees. a thermometer should be kept in the room, and the air should be changed several times during the day. this may be done with safety to the child by covering it up with woolen blankets to protect it from draft, while the windows and doors are opened. fresh air often does more to restore the sick child than the doctor's medicine. take the best room in the house. if necessary take the parlor, always make the room pleasant for the sick. . visitors.--carefully avoid the conversation of visitors or the loud and boisterous playing of children in the house. if there is much noise about the house that cannot be avoided, it is a good plan to put cotton in the ears of the patient. . light in the room.--light has a tendency to produce nervous irritability, consequently it is best to exclude as much daylight as possible and keep the room in a sort of twilight until the child begins to improve. be careful to avoid any odor coming from a burning lamp in the night. when the child begins to recover, give it plenty of sunlight. after the child begins to get better let in all the sunlight the windows will admit. take a south room for the sick bed. . sickness in summer.--if the weather is very hot it is a good plan to dampen the floors with cold water, or set several dishes of water in the room, but be careful to keep the patient out of the draft, and avoid any sudden change of temperature. . bathing.--bathe every sick child in warm water once a day unless prohibited by the doctor. if the child has a spasm or any attack of a serious nervous character in absence of the doctor, place him in a hot bath at once. hot water is one of the finest agencies for the cure of nervous diseases. { } [illustration] . scarlet fever and measles.--bathe the child in warm water to bring out the rash, and put in about a dessertspoonful of mustard into each bath. . drinks.--if a child is suffering with fevers, let it have all the water it wants. toast-water will be found nourishing. when the stomach of the child is in an irritable condition, nourishments containing milk or any other fluid should be given very sparingly. barley-water and rice-water are very soothing to an irritable stomach. . food.--mellin's food and milk is very nourishing if the child will take it. oatmeal gruel, white of eggs, etc. are excellent and nourishing articles. see "how to cook for the sick." . eating fruit.--let children who are recovering from sickness eat moderately of good fresh fruit. never let a child, whether well or sick, eat the skins of any kind of fruit. the outer covering of fruit was not made to eat, and often has poisonous matter very injurious to health upon its surface. contagious and infectious diseases are often communicated in that way. . sudden startings with the thumbs drawn into the palms, portend trouble with the brain, and often end in convulsions, which are far more serious in infants than in children. convulsions in children often result from a suppression of urine. if you have occasion to believe that such is the case, get the patient to sweating as soon as possible. give it a hot bath, after which cover it up in bed and put bags of hot salt over the lower part of the abdomen. . symptoms of indigestion.--if the baby shows symptoms of indigestion, do not begin giving it medicine. it is wiser to decrease the quantity and quality of the food and let the little one omit one meal entirely, that his stomach may rest. avoid all starchy foods, as the organs of digestion are not sufficiently developed to receive them. * * * * * { } a practical rule for feeding a baby on cow's milk. cow's milk is steadily growing in favor as an artificial food. country milk should be used instead of milk purchased in town or city. rule--take the upper half of milk that has stood an hour of two, dilute, not hardly as much as a third, with sweetened water, and if there is a tendency to sour stomach, put in a teaspoonful of lime water to every quart. the milk and water should both be boiled separately. if the baby is constipated, it is best to heat the milk over boiling water and not allow it to boil. infant food for hours. age of child. milk. water. total. to days - / gills - / gills - / gills to days - / gills - / gills gills to days - / gills gills - / gills to - / months gills - / gills - / gills - / to months - / gills gills - / gills to - / months gills - / gills - / gills - / to months - / gills - / gills gills to - / months gills - / gills - / gills - / to months - / gills - / gills gills to - / months gills - / gills - / gills - / to months - / gills - / gills gills to months gills gills gills - / to months - / gills - / gills gills to months gills gills gills to months - / gills gills - / gills to months - / gills gills - / gills to months - / gills gills - / gills to months gills - / gills - / gills to months - / gills - / gills - / gills to months - / gills gills - / gills and more months gills gills gills * * * * * { } how to keep a baby well. [illustration: a delicate child should never be put into the bath, but bathed on the lap and kept warmly covered.] . the mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully take its place. . the infant's stomach does not readily accommodate itself to changes in diet; therefore, regularity in quality, quantity and temperature is extremely necessary. . not until a child is a year old should it be allowed any food except that of milk, and possibly a little cracker or bread, thoroughly soaked and softened. . meat should never be given to very young children. the best artificial food is cream, reduced and sweetened with sugar and milk. no rule can be given for its reduction. observation and experience must teach that, because every child's stomach is governed by a rule of its own. . a child can be safely weaned at one year of age, and sometimes less. it depends entirely upon the season, and upon the health of the child. . a child should never be weaned during the warm weather, in june, july or august. . when a child is weaned it may be given, in connection { } with the milk diet, some such nourishment as broth, gruel, egg, or some prepared food. . a child should never be allowed to come to the table until two years of age. . a child should never eat much starchy food until four years old. . a child should have all the water it desires to drink, but it is decidedly the best to boil the water first, and allow it to cool. all the impurities and disease germs are thereby destroyed. this one thing alone will add greatly to the health and vigor of the child. . where there is a tendency to bowel disorder, a little gum arabic, rice, or barley may be boiled with the drinking water. . if the child uses a bottle it should be kept absolutely clean. it is best to have two or three bottles, so that one will always be perfectly clean and fresh. . the nipple should be of black or pure rubber, and not of the white or vulcanized rubber; it should fit over the top of the bottle. no tubes should ever be used; it is impossible to keep them clean. . when the rubber becomes coated, a little coarse salt will clean it. . babies should be fed at regular times. they should also be put to sleep at regular hours. regularity is one of the best safeguards to health. . milk for babies and children should be from healthy cows. milk from different cows varies, and it is always better for a child to have milk from the same cow. a farrow cow's milk is preferable, especially if the child is not very strong. . many of the prepared foods advertised for children are of little benefit. a few may be good, but what is good for one child may not be for another. so it must be simply a matter of experiment if any of the advertised foods are used. . it is a physiological fact that an infant is always healthier and better to sleep alone. it gets better air and is not liable to suffocation. . a healthy child should never be fed in less than two hours from the last time they finished before, gradually lengthening the time as it grows older. at months ½ or hours; at months a healthy child will be better if given nothing in the night except, perhaps, a little water. . give an infant a little water several times a day. . a delicate child the first year should be oiled after each bath. the oiling may often take the place of the bath, in case of a cold. . in oiling a babe, use pure olive oil, and wipe off thoroughly after each application. for nourishing a weak child use also olive oil. . for colds, coughs, croup, etc., use goose oil externally and give a teaspoonful at bed-time. * * * * * { } how to preserve the health and life of your infant during hot weather. [illustration: found upon the door step.] _bathing._ . bathe infants daily in tepid water and even twice a day in hot weather. if delicate they should be sponged instead of immersing them in water, but cleanliness is absolutely necessary for the health of infants. _clothing._ . put no bands in their clothing, but make all garments to hang loosely from the shoulders, and have all their clothing _scrupulously clean_; even the diaper should not be re-used without rinsing. { } _sleep alone._ . the child should in all cases sleep by itself on a cot or in a crib and retire at a regular hour. a child _always_ early taught to go to sleep without rocking or nursing is the healthier and happier for it. begin _at birth_ and this will be easily accomplished. _cordials and soothing syrups._ . never give cordials, soothing syrups, sleeping drops, etc., without the advice of a physician. a child that frets and does not sleep is either hungry or ill. _if ill it needs a physician._ never give candy or cake to quiet a small child, they are sure to produce disorders of the stomach, diarrhoea or some other trouble. _fresh air._ . children should have plenty of fresh air summer as well as winter. avoid the severe hot sun and the heated kitchen for infants in summer. heat is the great destroyer of infants. in excessive hot weather feed them with chips of ice occasionally, if you have it. _clean houses._ . keep your house clean and cool and well aired night and day. your cellars cleared of all rubbish and whitewashed every spring, your drains cleaned with strong solution of copperas or chloride of lime, poured down them once a week. keep your gutters and yards clean and insist upon your neighbors doing the same. _evacuations of a child._ the healthy motion varies from light orange yellow to greenish yellow, in number, two to four times daily. smell should never be offensive. slimy mucous-like jelly passages indicate worms. pale green, offensive, acrid motions indicate disordered stomach. dark green indicate acid secretions and a more serious trouble. fetid dark brown stools are present in chronic diarrhoea. putty-like pasty passages are due to acidity curdling the milk or to torpid liver. { } [illustration] _breast milk._ . breast milk is the only proper food for infants, until after the second summer. if the supply is small keep what you have and feed the child in connection with it, for if the babe is ill this breast milk may be all that will save its life. _sterilized milk._ . milk is the best food. goat's milk best, cows milk next. if the child thrives on this _nothing else_ should be given during the hot weather, until the front teeth are cut. get fresh cow's milk twice a day if the child requires food in the night, pour it into a glass fruit jar with one-third pure water for a child under three months old, afterwards the proportion of water may be less and less, also a trifle of sugar may be added. then place the jar in a kettle or pan of cold water, like the bottom of an oatmeal kettle. leave the cover of the jar loose. place it on the stove and let the water come to a boil and boil ten minutes, screw down the cover tight and boil ten minutes more, then remove from the fire, and allow it to cool in the water slowly so as not to break the jar. when partly cool put on the ice or in a cool place, and keep tightly covered except when the milk is poured out for use. the glass jar must be kept perfectly clean and washed { } and scalded carefully before use. a tablespoonful of lime water to a bottle of milk will aid indigestion. discard the bottle as soon as possible and use a cup which you know is clean, whereas a bottle must be kept in water constantly when not in use, or the sour milk will make the child sick. use no tube for it is exceedingly hard to keep it clean, and if pure milk cannot be had, condensed milk is admirable and does not need to be sterilized as the above. _diet._ . never give babies under two years old such food as grown persons eat. their chief diet should be milk, wheat bread and milk, oatmeal, possibly a little rare boiled egg, but always and chiefly milk. germ wheat is also excellent. _exercise._ . children should have exercise in the house as well as outdoors, but should not be jolted and jumped and jarred in rough play, not rudely rocked in the cradle, nor carelessly trundled over bumps in their carriages. they should not be held too much in the arms, but allowed to crawl and kick upon the floor and develop their limbs and muscles. a child should not be lifted by its arms, nor dragged along by one hand after it learns to take a few feeble steps, but when they do learn to walk steadily it is the best of all exercise, especially in the open air. let the children as they grow older romp and play in the open air all they wish, girls as well as boys. give the girls an even chance for health, while they are young at least, and don't mind about their complexion. [illustration] { } infant teething. [illustration] . remarkable instances.--there are instances where babies have been born with teeth, and, on the other hand, there are cases of persons who have never had any teeth at all; and others that had double teeth all around in both upper and lower jaws, but these are rare instances, and may be termed as a sort of freaks of nature. . infant teething.--the first teeth generally make their appearance after the third month, and during the period of teething the child is fretful and restless, causing sometimes constitutional disturbances, such as diarrhoea, indigestion, etc. usually, however, no serious results follow, and no unnecessary anxiety need be felt, unless the weather is extremely warm, then there is some danger of summer complaint setting in and seriously complicating matters. . the number of teeth.--teeth are generally cut in pairs and make their appearance first in the front and going backwards until all are complete. it generally takes about { } two years for a temporary set of children's teeth. a child two or three years old should have twenty teeth. after the age of seven they generally begin to loosen and fall out and permanent teeth take their place. . lancing the gums.--this is very rarely necessary. there are extreme cases when the condition of the mouth and health of the child demand a physician's lance but this should not be resorted to, unless it is absolutely necessary. when the gums are very much swollen and the tooth is nearly through, the pains may be relieved by the mother taking a thimble and pressing it down upon the tooth, the sharp edges of the tooth will cut through the swollen flesh, and instant relief will follow. a child in a few hours or a day will be perfectly happy after a very severe and trying time of sickness. . permanent teeth.--the teeth are firmly inserted in sockets of the upper and lower jaw. the permanent teeth which follow the temporary teeth, when complete, are sixteen in each jaw, or thirty-two in all. . names of teeth.--there are four incisors (front teeth), four cuspids (eye teeth), four bicuspids (grinders), and four molars (large grinders), in each jaw. each tooth is divided into the crown, body, and root. the crown is the grinding surface; the body--the part projecting from the jaw--is the seat of sensation and nutrition; the root is that portion of the tooth which is inserted in the alveolus. the teeth are composed of dentine (ivory) and enamel. the ivory forms the greater portion of the body and root, while the enamel covers the exposed surface. the small white cords communicating with the teeth are the nerves. [illustration] { } home treatment for the diseases of infants and children. [illustration] . out of the , persons that died during the year of , , did not reach one year of age, and , died under five years of age. what a fearful responsibility therefore rests upon the parents who permit these hundreds of thousands of children to die annually. this terrible mortality among children is undoubtedly largely the result of ignorance as regarding to the proper care and treatment of sick children. . for very small children it is always best to use homoeopathic remedies. _colic._ . babies often suffer severely with colic. it is not considered dangerous, but causes considerable suffering. . severe colic is usually the result of derangement of the liver in the mother, or of her insufficient or improper nourishment, and it occurs more frequently when the child is from two to five months old. { } . let the mother eat chiefly barley, wheat and bread, rolled wheat, graham bread, fish, milk, eggs and fruit. the latter may be freely eaten, avoiding that which is very sour. . a rubber bag or bottle filled with hot water put into a crib, will keep the child, once quieted, asleep for hours. if a child is suffering from colic, it should be thoroughly warmed and kept warm. . avoid giving opiates of any kind, such as cordials, mrs. winslow's soothing syrup, "mother's friend," and various other patent medicines. they injure the stomach and health of the child, instead of benefiting it. . remedies.--a few tablespoonfuls of hot water will often allay a severe attack of the colic. catnip tea is also a good remedy. a drop of essence of peppermint in or teaspoonfuls of hot water will give relief. if the stools are green and the child is very restless, give chamomilla. if the child is suffering from constipation, and undigested curds of milk appear in its fæces, and the child starts suddenly in its sleep, give nux vomica. an injection of a few spoonfuls of hot water into the rectum with a little asafoetida is an effective remedy, and will be good for an adult. _constipation._ . this is a very frequent ailment of infants. the first thing necessary is for the mother to regulate her diet. . if the child is nursed regularly and held out at the same time of each day, it will seldom be troubled with this complaint. give plenty of _water_. regularity of habit is the remedy. if this method fails, use a soap suppository. make it by paring a piece of white castile soap round. it should be made about the size of a lead pencil, pointed at the end. . avoid giving a baby drugs. let the physician administer them if necessary. { } _diarrhoea._ great care should be exercised by parents in checking the diarrhoea of children. many times serious diseases are brought on by parents being too hasty in checking this disorder of the bowels. it is an infant's first method of removing obstructions and overcoming derangements of the system. _summer complaint._ . summer complaint is an irritation and inflammation of the lining membranes of the intestines. this may often be caused by teething, eating indigestible food, etc. . if the discharges are only frequent and yellow and not accompanied with pain, there is no cause for anxiety; but if the discharges are green, soon becoming gray, brown and sometimes frothy, having a mixture of phlegm, and sometimes containing food undigested, a physician had better be summoned. . for mild attacks the following treatment may be given: ) keep the child perfectly quiet and keep the room well aired. ) put a drop of tincture of camphor on a teaspoonful of sugar, mix thoroughly; then add teaspoonfuls of hot water and give a teaspoonful of the mixture every ten minutes. this is indicated where the discharges are watery, and where there is vomiting and coldness of the feet and hands. chamomilla is also an excellent remedy. ipecac and nux vomica may also be given. in giving homoeopathic remedies, give or pellets every or hours. ) the diet should be wholesome and nourishing. _for teething._ if a child is suffering with swollen gums, is feverish, restless, and starts in its sleep, give nux vomica. { } worms. _pin worms._ pin worms and round worms are the most common in children. they are generally found in the lower bowels. symptoms.--restlessness, itching about the anus in the fore part of the evening, and worms in the fæces. treatment.--give with a syringe an injection of a tablespoonful of linseed oil. cleanliness is also very necessary. _round worms._ a round worm is from six to sixteen inches in length, resembling the common earth worm. it inhabits generally the small intestines, but it sometimes enters the stomach and is thrown up by vomiting. symptoms.--distress, indigestion, swelling of the abdomen, grinding of the teeth, restlessness, and sometimes convulsions. treatment.--one teaspoonful of powdered wormseed mixed with a sufficient quantity of molasses, or spread on bread and butter. or, one grain of santonine every four hours for two or three days, followed by a brisk cathartic. wormwood tea is also highly recommended. swaim's vermifuge. ounces wormseed, ½ ounces valerian, ½ ounces rhubarb, ½ ounces pink-root, ½ ounces white agaric. boil in sufficient water to yield quarts of decoction, and add to it drops of oil of tansy and drops of oil of cloves, dissolved in a quart of rectified spirits. dose, teaspoonful at night. _another excellent vermifuge._ oil of wormseed, ounce, oil of anise, ounce, castor oil, ounce, tinct. of myrrh, drops, oil of turpentine, drops. mix thoroughly. always shake well before using. give to drops in cold coffee, once or twice a day. * * * * * { } how to treat croup spasmodic and true. _spasmodic croup._ [illustration] definition.--a spasmodic closure of the glottis which interferes with respiration. comes on suddenly and usually at night, without much warning. it is a purely nervous disease and may be caused by reflex nervous irritation from undigested food in the stomach or bowels, irritation of the gums in dentition, or from brain disorders. symptoms.--child awakens suddenly at night with suspended respiration or very difficult breathing. after a few respirations it cries out and then falls asleep quietly, or the attack may last an hour or so, when the face will become pale, veins in the neck become turgid and feet and hands contract spasmodically. in mild cases the attacks will only occur once during the night, but may recur on the following night. home treatment.--during the paroxysm dashing cold water in the face is a common remedy. to terminate the spasm and prevent its return give teaspoonful doses of { } powdered alum. the syrup of squills is an old and tried remedy; give in to drop doses and repeat every minutes till vomiting occurs. seek out the cause if possible and remove it. it commonly lies in some derangement of the digestive organs. _true croup._ definition.--this disease consists of an inflammation of the mucous membrane of the upper air passages, particularly of the larynx with the formation of a false membrane that obstructs the breathing. the disease is most common in children between the ages of two and seven years, but it may occur at any age. symptoms.--usually there are symptoms of a cold for three or four days previous to the attack. marked hoarseness is observed in the evening with a ringing metallic cough and some difficulty in breathing, which increases and becomes somewhat paroxysmal till the face which was at first flushed becomes pallid and ashy in hue. the efforts at breathing become very great, and unless the child gets speedy relief it will die of suffocation. home treatment.--patient should be kept in a moist warm atmosphere, and cold water applied to the neck early in the attack. as soon as the breathing seems difficult give a half to one teaspoonful of powdered alum in honey to produce vomiting and apply the remedies suggested in the treatment of diphtheria, as the two diseases are thought by many to be identical. when the breathing becomes labored and face becomes pallid, the condition is very serious and a physician should be called without delay. _scarlet fever._ definition.--an eruptive contagious disease, brought about by direct exposure to those having the disease, or by contact with clothing, dishes, or other articles, used about the sick room. the clothing may be disinfected by heating to a temperature of ° fahrenheit or by dipping in boiling water before washing. { } dogs and cats will also carry the disease and should be kept from the house, and particularly from the sick room. symptoms.--chilly sensations or a decided chill, fever, headache, furred tongue, vomiting, sore throat, rapid pulse, hot dry skin and more or less stupor. in from to hours a fine red rash appears about the ears, neck and shoulders, which rapidly spreads to the entire surface of the body. after a few days, a scurf or branny scales will begin to form on the skin. these scales are the principal source of contagion. home treatment. . isolate the patient from other members of the family to prevent the spread of the disease. . keep the patient in bed and give a fluid diet of milk gruel, beef tea, etc., with plenty of cold water to drink. . control the fever by sponging the body with tepid water, and relieve the pain in the throat by cold compresses, applied externally. . as soon as the skin shows a tendency to become scaly, apply goose grease or clean lard with a little boracic acid powder dusted in it, or better, perhaps, carbolized vaseline to relieve the itching and prevent the scales from being scattered about, and subjecting others to the contagion. regular treatment.--a few drops of aconite every three hours to regulate the pulse, and if the skin be pale and circulation feeble, with tardy eruption, administer one to ten drops of tincture of belladonna, according to the age of the patient. at the end of third week, if eyes look puffy and feet swell, there is danger of acute bright's disease, and a physician should be consulted. if the case does not progress well under the home remedies suggested, a physician should be called at once. _whooping cough._ definition.--this is a contagious disease which is known by a peculiar whooping sound in the cough. considerable mucus is thrown off after each attack of spasmodic coughing. symptoms.--it usually commences with the symptoms of a common cold in the head, some chilliness, feverishness, { } restlessness, headache, a feeling of tightness across the chest, violent paroxysms of coughing, sometimes almost threatening suffocation, and accompanied with vomiting. home treatment.--patient should eat plain food and avoid cold drafts and damp air, but keep in the open air as much as possible. a strong tea made of the tops of red clover is highly recommended. a strong tea made of chestnut leaves, sweetened with sugar, is also very good. teaspoonful of powdered alum. teaspoonful of syrup. mix in a tumbler of water, and give the child one teaspoonful every two or three hours. a kerosene lamp kept burning in the bed chamber at night is said to lessen the cough and shorten the course of the disease. _mumps._ definition.--this is a contagious disease causing the inflammation of the salivary glands, and is generally a disease of childhood and youth. symptoms.--a slight fever, stiffness of the neck and lower jaw, swelling and soreness of the gland. it usually develops in four or five days and then begins to disappear. home treatment.--apply to the swelling a hot poultice of cornmeal and bread and milk. a hop poultice is also excellent. take a good dose of physic and rest carefully. a warm general bath, or mustard foot bath, is very good. avoid exposure or cold drafts. if a bad cold is taken, serious results may follow. _measles._ definition.--it is an eruptive, contagious disease, preceded by cough and other catarrhal symptoms for about four or five days. the eruption comes rapidly in small red spots, which are slightly raised. symptoms.--a feeling of weakness, loss of appetite, some fever, cold in the head, frequent sneezing, watery eyes, dry cough and a hot skin. the disease takes effect nine or ten days after exposure. { } home treatment.--measles is not a dangerous disease in the child, but in an adult it is often very serious. in childhood very little medicine is necessary, but exposure must be carefully avoided, and the patient kept in bed, in a moderately warm room. the diet should be light and nourishing. keep the room dark. if the eruption does not come out promptly, apply hot baths. common treatment.--two teaspoonfuls of spirits of nitre, one teaspoonful paregoric, one wineglassful of camphor water. mix thoroughly, and give a teaspoonful in half a tea-cupful of water every two hours. to relieve the cough, if troublesome, flax seed tea, or infusion of slippery-elm bark, with a little lemon juice to render more palatable, will be of benefit. _chicken pox._ definition.--this is a contagious, eruptive disease, which resembles to some extent small-pox. the pointed vesicles or pimples have a depression in the center in chicken-pox, and in small pox they do not. symptoms.--nine to seventeen days elapse after the exposure, before symptoms appear. slight fever, a sense of sickness, the appearance of scattered pimples, some itching and heat. the pimples rapidly change into little blisters, filled with a watery fluid. after five or six days they disappear. home treatment.--milk diet, and avoid all kinds of meat. keep the bowels open, and avoid all exposure to cold. large vesicles on the face should be punctured early, and irritation by rubbing should be avoided. _home treatment of diphtheria._ definition.--acute, specific, constitutional disease, with local manifestations in the throat, mouth, nose, larynx, windpipe, and glands of the neck. the disease is infectious, but not very contagious under the proper precautions. it is a disease of childhood, though adults sometimes contract it. many of the best physicians of the day consider true or membranous croup to be due to this diphtheritic membranous disease thus located in the larynx or trachea. { } symptoms.--symptoms vary according to the severity of the attack. chills, fever, headache, languor, loss of appetite, stiffness of neck, with tenderness about the angles of the jaw, soreness of the throat, pain in the ear, aching of the limbs, loss of strength, coated tongue, swelling of the neck, and offensive breath; lymphatic glands on side of neck enlarged and tender. the throat is first to be seen red and swollen, then covered with grayish white patches, which spread, and a false membrane is found on the mucous membrane. if the nose is attacked, there will be an offensive discharge, and the child will breathe through the mouth. if the larynx or throat are involved, the voice will become hoarse, and a croupy cough, with difficult breathing, shows that the air passage to the lungs is being obstructed by the false membrane. home treatment.--isolate the patient, to prevent the spread of the disease. diet should be of the most nutritious character, as milk, eggs, broths, and oysters. give at intervals of every two or three hours. if patient refuses to swallow, from the pain caused by the effort, a nutrition injection must be resorted to. inhalations of steam and hot water, and allowing the patient to suck pellets of ice, will give relief. sponges dipped in hot water, and applied to the angles of the jaw, are beneficial. inhalations of lime, made by slaking freshly burnt lime in a vessel, and directing the vapor to the child's mouth, by means of a newspaper, or similar contrivance. flour of sulphur, blown into the back of the mouth and throat by means of a goose quill, has been highly recommended. frequent gargling of the throat and mouth, with a solution of lactic acid, strong enough to taste sour, will help to keep the parts clean, and correct the foul breath. if there is great prostration, with the nasal passage affected, or hoarseness and difficult breathing, a physician should be called at once. * * * * * { } diseases of women. _disorders of the menses._ . suppression of, or scanty menses. [illustration] home treatment.--attention to the diet, and exercise in the open air to promote the general health. some bitter tonic, taken with fifteen grains of dialyzed iron, well diluted, after meals, if patient is pale and debilitated. a hot foot bath is often all that is necessary. . profuse menstruation. home treatment.--avoid highly seasoned food, and the use of spirituous liquors; also excessive fatigue, either physical or mental. to check the flow, patient should be kept quiet, and allowed to sip cinnamon tea during the period. . painful menstruation. home treatment.--often brought on by colds. treat by warm hip baths, hot drinks (avoiding spirituous liquors), and heat applied to the back and extremities. a teaspoonful of the fluid extract of viburnum will sometimes act like a charm. _how to cure swelled and sore breasts._ take and boil a quantity of chamomile, and apply the hot fomentations. this dissolves the knot, and reduce the swelling and soreness. { } _leucorrhea or whites._ home treatment.--this disorder, if not arising from some abnormal condition of the pelvic organs, can easily be cured by patient taking the proper amount of exercise and good nutritious food, avoiding tea and coffee. an injection every evening of one teaspoonful of pond's extract in a cup of hot water, after first cleansing the vagina well with a quart of warm water, is a simple but effective remedy. _inflammation of the womb._ home treatment.--when in the acute form this disease is ushered in by a chill, followed by fever, and pain in the region of the womb. patient should be placed in bed, and a brisk purgative given, hot poultices applied to the abdomen, and the feet and hands kept warm. if the symptoms do not subside, a physician should be consulted. _hysteria._ definition.--a functional disorder of the nervous system of which it is impossible to speak definitely; characterized by disturbance of the reason, will, imagination, and emotions, with sometimes convulsive attacks that resemble epilepsy. symptoms.--fits of laughter, and tears without apparent cause; emotions easily excited; mind often melancholy and depressed; tenderness along the spine; disturbances of digestion, with hysterical convulsions, and other nervous phenomena. home treatment.--some healthy and pleasant employment should be urged upon women afflicted with this disease. men are also subject to it, though not so frequently. avoid excessive fatigue and mental worry; also stimulants and opiates. plenty of good food and fresh air will do more good than drugs. * * * * * { } falling of the womb. causes.--the displacement of the womb usually is the result of too much childbearing, miscarriages, abortions, or the taking of strong medicines to bring about menstruation. it may also be the result in getting up too quickly from the childbed. there are, however, other causes, such as a general breaking down of the health. symptoms.--if the womb has fallen forward it presses against the bladder, causing the patient to urinate frequently. if the womb has fallen back, it presses against the rectum, and constipation is the result with often severe pain at stool. if the womb descends into the vagina there is a feeling of heaviness. all forms of displacement produce pain in the back, with an irregular and scanty menstrual flow and a dull and exhausted feeling. home treatment.--improve the general health. take some preparation of cod-liver oil, hot injections (of a teaspoonful of powdered alum with a pint of water), a daily sitz-bath, and a regular morning bath three times a week will be found very beneficial. there, however, can be no remedy unless the womb is first replaced to the proper position. this must be done by a competent physician who should frequently be consulted. [illustration] { } menstruation. . its importance.--menstruation plays a momentous part in the female economy; indeed, unless it be in every way properly and duly performed, it is neither possible that a lady can be well, nor is it at all probable that she will conceive. the large number of barren, of delicate, and of hysterical women there are in america arises mainly from menstruation not being duly and properly performed. . the boundary-line.--menstruation--"the periods"--the appearance of the catamenia or the menses--is then one of the most important epochs in a girl's life. it is the boundary-line, the landmark between childhood and womanhood; it is the threshold, so to speak, of a woman's life. her body now develops and expands, and her mental capacity enlarges and improves. . the commencement of menstruation.--a good beginning at this time is peculiarly necessary, or a girl's health is sure to suffer, and different organs of the body--her lungs, for instance, may become imperiled. a healthy continuation, at regular periods, is also much needed, or conception, when she is married, may not occur. great attention and skillful management is required to ward off many formidable diseases, which at the close of menstruation--at "the change of life"--are more likely than at any time to be developed. if she marry when very young, marriage weakens her system, and prevents a full development of her body. moreover, such an one is, during the progress of her labor, prone to convulsions--which is a very serious childbed complication. . early marriages.--statistics prove that twenty per cent-- in every --of females who marry are under age, and that such early marriages are often followed by serious, and sometimes even by fatal consequences to mother, to progeny, or to both. parents ought, therefore, to persuade their daughters not to marry until they are of age--twenty-one; they should point out to them the risk and danger likely to ensue if their advice be not followed; they should impress upon their minds the old adage: "early wed, early dead." . time to marry.--parents who have the real interest and happiness of their daughters at heart, ought, in consonance with the laws of physiology, to discountenance marriage before twenty; and the nearer the girls arrive at { } the age of twenty-five before the consummation of this important rite, the greater the probability that, physically and morally, they will be protected against those risks which precocious marriages bring in their train. . feeble parents.--feeble parents have generally feeble children; diseased parents, diseased children; nervous parents, nervous children;--"like begets like." it is sad to reflect, that the innocent have to suffer, not only for the guilty, but for the thoughtless and inconsiderate. disease and debility are thus propagated from one generation to another and the american race becomes woefully deteriorated. . time.--menstruation in this country usually commences at the ages of from thirteen to sixteen, sometimes earlier; occasionally as early as eleven or twelve; at other times later, and not until a girl be seventeen or eighteen years of age. menstruation in large towns is supposed to commence at an earlier period than in the country, and earlier in luxurious than in simple life. . character.--the menstrual fluid is not exactly blood, although, both in appearance and properties, it much resembles it; yet it never in the healthy state clots as blood does. it is a secretion of the womb, and, when healthy, ought to be of a bright red color, in appearance very much like the blood from a recently cut finger. the menstrual fluid ought not, as before observed, clot. if it does, a lady, during "her periods," suffers intense pain; moreover, she seldom conceives until the clotting has ceased. . menstruation during nursing.--some ladies, though comparatively few, menstruate during nursing; when they do, it may be considered not as the rule, but as the exception. it is said in such instances, that they are more likely to conceive; and no doubt they are, as menstruation is an indication of a proneness to conception. many persons have an idea that when a woman, during lactation, menstruates, her milk is both sweeter and purer. such is an error. menstruation during nursing is more likely to weaken the mother, and consequently to deteriorate her milk, and thus make it less sweet and less pure. . violent exercise.--during "the monthly periods" violent exercise is injurious; iced drinks and acid beverages are improper; and bathing in the sea, and bathing the feet in cold water, and cold baths are dangerous; indeed, at such times as these, no risks should be run, and no experiments should, for the moment, be permitted, otherwise serious consequences will, in all probability, ensue. { } . the pale, colorless-complexioned.--the pale, colorless-complexioned, helpless, listless, and almost lifeless young ladies who are so constantly seen in society, usually owe their miserable state of health to absent, to deficient, or to profuse menstruation. their breathing is short--they are soon "out of breath," if they attempt to take exercise--to walk, for instance, either up stairs or up a hill, or even for half a mile on level ground, their breath is nearly exhausted--they pant as though they had been running quickly. they are ready, after the slightest exertion or fatigue, and after the least worry or excitement, to feel faint, and sometimes even to actually swoon away. now such cases may, if judiciously treated, be generally soon cured. it therefore behooves mothers to seek medical aid early for their girls, and that before irreparable mischief has been done to the constitution. . poverty of blood.--in a pale, delicate girl or wife, who is laboring under what is popularly called poverty of blood, the menstrual fluid is sometimes very scant, at others very copious, but is, in either case, usually very pale--almost as colorless as water, the patient being very nervous and even hysterical. now, these are signs of great debility; but, fortunately for such an one, a medical man is, in the majority of cases, in possession of remedies that will soon make her all right again. . no right to marry.--a delicate girl has no right until she be made strong, to marry. if she should marry, she will frequently, when in labor, not have strength, unless she has help, to bring a child into the world; which, provided she be healthy and well-formed, ought not to be. how graphically the bible tells of delicate women not having strength to bring children into the world: "for the children are come to the birth, and there is not strength to bring forth."-- kings xix, . . too sparing.--menstruation at another time is too sparing; this is a frequent cause of sterility. medical aid, in the majority of cases, will be able to remedy the defect, and, by doing so, will probably be the means of bringing the womb into a healthy state, and thus predispose to conception. [illustration] { } celebrated prescriptions for all diseases and how to use them. [illustration] vinegar for hives. after trying many remedies in a severe case of hives, mr. swain found vinegar lotion gave instant relief, and subsequent trials in other cases have been equally successful. one part of water to two parts of vinegar is the strength most suitable. throat trouble. a teaspoonful of salt, in a cup of hot water, makes a safe and excellent gargle in most throat troubles. for sweating feet, with bad odor. wash the feet in warm water with borax, and if this don't cure, use a solution of permanganate to destroy the fetor; about five grains to each ounce of water. { } amenorrhoea. the following is recommended as a reliable emmenagogue in many cases of functional amenorrhoea: bichloride of mercury, arsenite of sodium, aa gr. iij. sulphate of strychnine, gr. iss. carbonate of potassium, sulphate of iron, aa gr. xlv. mix and divide into sixty pills. sig. one pill after each meal. sick headache. take a spoonful of finely powdered charcoal in a small glass of warm water to relieve a sick headache. it absorbs the gasses produced by the fermentation of undigested food. an excellent eye wash. acetate of zinc, grains. acetate of morphia, grains. rose water, ounces. mix. for films and cataracts of the eyes. blood root pulverized, ounce. hog's lard, ounces. mix, simmer for minutes, then strain; when cold put a little in the eyes twice or three times a day. for burns and sores. pitch burgundy, pounds. bees' wax, pound. hog's lard, one pound. mix all together and simmer over a slow fire until the whole are well mixed together; then stir it until cold. apply on muslin to the parts affected. for chapped hands. olive oil, ounces. camphor beat fine, ½ ounce. mix, dissolve by gentle heat over slow fire and when cold apply to the hand freely. intoxication. a man who is helplessly intoxicated may almost immediately restore the faculties and powers of locomotion by taking half a teaspoonful of chloride of ammonium in a goblet of water. a wineglassful of strong vinegar will have the same effect and is frequently resorted to by drunken soldiers. { } nervous disability. headache. neuralgia. nervousness. fluid extract of scullcap, ounce. fluid extract american valerian, ounce. fluid extract catnip, ounce. mix all. dose, from to drops every two hours, in water; most valuable. a valuable tonic in all conditions of debility and want of appetite. comp. tincture of cinchona in teaspoonful doses in a little water, half hour before meals. another excellent tonic. tincture of gentian, ounce. tincture of columba, ounce. tincture of collinsonia, ounce. mix all. dose, one tablespoonful in one tablespoonful of water before meals. remedy for chapped hands. when doing housework, if your hands become chapped or red, mix corn meal and vinegar into a stiff paste and apply to the hand two or three times a day, after washing them in hot water, then let dry without wiping, and rub with glycerine. at night use cold cream, and wear gloves. bleeding. very hot water is a prompt checker of bleeding, besides, if it is clean, as it should be, it aids in sterilizing our wound. treatment for cramp. wherever friction can be conveniently applied, heat will be generated by it, and the muscle again reduced to a natural condition; but if the pains proceed from the contraction of some muscle located internally, burnt brandy is an excellent remedy. a severe attack which will not yield to this simple treatment may be conquered by administering a small dose of laudanum or ether, best given under medical supervision. treatment for colic. castor oil, given as soon as the symptoms of colic manifest themselves, has frequently afforded relief. at any rate, the irritating substances may be expelled from the alimentary canal before the pains will subside. all local remedies will be ineffectual, and consequently the purgative should be given in large doses until a copious vacuation is produced. { } [illustration: the doctor's visit.] treatment for heartburn. if soda, taken in small quantities after meals, does not relieve the distress, one may rest assured that the fluid is an alkali and requires an acid treatment. proceed, after eating, to squeeze ten drops of lemon-juice into a small quantity of water, and swallow it. the habit of daily life should be made to conform to the laws of health, or local treatment will prove futile. biliousness. for biliousness, squeeze the juice of a lime or small lemon into half a glass of cold water, then stir in a little baking soda and drink while it foams. this receipt will also relieve sick headache if taken at the beginning. turpentine applications. mix turpentine and lard in equal parts. warmed and rubbed on the chest, it is a safe, reliable and mild counter irritant and revulsent in minor lung complications. { } treatment for mumps. it is very important that the face and neck be kept warm. avoid catching cold, and regulate the stomach and bowels, because, when aggravated, this disease is communicated to other glands, and assumes there a serious form. rest and quiet, with a good condition of the general health, will throw off this disease without further inconvenience. treatment for felon. all medication, such as poulticing, anointing, and the applications of lotions, is but useless waste of time. the surgeon's knife should be used as early as possible, for it will be required sooner or later, and the more promptly it can be applied, the less danger is there from the disease, and the more agony is spared to the unfortunate victim. treatment for stabs. a wound made by thrusting a dagger or other oblong instrument into the flesh, is best treated, if no artery has been severed, by applying lint scraped from a linen cloth, which serves as an obstruction, allowing and assisting coagulation. meanwhile cold water should be applied to the parts adjoining the wound. treatment for mashed nails. if the injured member be plunged into very hot water, the nail will become pliable and adapt itself to the new condition of things, thus alleviating agony to some extent. a small hole may be bored on the nail with a pointed instrument, so adroitly so as not to cause pain, yet so successfully as to relieve pressure on the sensitive tissues. free applications of arnica or iodine will have an excellent effect. treatment for foreign body in the eye. when any foreign body enters the eye, close it instantly, and keep it still until you have an opportunity to ask the assistance of some one; then have the upper lid folded over a pencil and the exposed surfaces closely searched; if the body be invisible, catch the everted lid by the lashes, and drawing it down over the lower lid, suddenly release it, and it will resume its natural position. unsuccessful in this attempt, you may be pretty well assured that the object has become lodged in the tissues, and will require the assistance of a skilled operator to remove it. cuts. a drop or two of creosote on a cut will stop its bleeding. { } * * * * * treatment for poison oak--poison ivy--poison sumach.--mr. charles morris, of philadelphia, who has studied the subject closely, uses, as a sovereign remedy, frequent bathing of the affected parts in water as hot as can be borne. if used immediately after exposure, it may prevent the eruption appearing. if later, it allays the itching, and gradually dries up the swellings, though, they are very stubborn after they have once appeared. but an application every few hours keeps down the intolerable itching, which is the most annoying feature of sumach poisoning. in addition to this, the ordinary astringent ointments are useful, as is also that sovereign lotion, "lead-water and laudanum." mr. morris adds to these a preventive prescription of "wide-open eyes." bites and stings of insects.--wash with a solution of ammonia water. bites of mad dogs.--apply caustic potash at once to the wound, and give enough whiskey to cause sleep. burns.--make a paste of common baking soda and water, and apply it promptly to the burn. it will quickly check the pain and inflammation. cold on chest.--a flannel rag wrung out in boiling water and sprinkled with turpentine, laid on the chest, gives the greatest relief. cough.--boil one ounce of flaxseed in a pint of water, strain, and add a little honey, one ounce of rock candy, and the juice of three lemons. mix and boil well. drink as hot as possible. sprained ankle or wrist.--wash the ankle very frequently with cold salt and water, which is far better than warm vinegar or decoction of herbs. keep the foot as cool as possible to prevent inflammation, and sit with it elevated on a high cushion. live on low diet, and take every morning some cooling medicine, such as epsom salts. it cures in a few days. chilblains, sprains, etc.--one raw egg well beaten, half a pint of vinegar, one ounce spirits of turpentine, a quarter of an ounce of spirits of wine, a quarter of an ounce of camphor. these ingredients to be beaten together, then put in a bottle and shaken for ten minutes, after which, to be corked down tightly to exclude the air. in half an hour it is fit for use. to be well rubbed in, two, three, or four times a day. for rheumatism in the head, to be rubbed at the back of the neck and behind the ears. in chilblains this remedy is to be used before they are broken. { } how to remove superfluous hair.--sulphuret of arsenic, one ounce; quicklime, one ounce; prepared lard, one ounce; white wax, one ounce. melt the wax, add the lard. when nearly cold, stir in the other ingredients. apply to the superfluous hair, allowing it to remain on from five to ten minutes; use a table-knife to shave off the hair; then wash with soap and warm water. dyspepsia cure.--powdered rhubarb, two drachms; bicarbonate of sodium, six drachms; fluid extract of gentian, three drachms; peppermint water, seven and a half ounces. mix them. dose, a teaspoonful half an hour before meals. for neuralgia.--tincture of belladonna, one ounce; tincture of camphor, one ounce; tincture of arnica, one ounce; tincture of opium, one ounce. mix them. apply over the seat of the pain, and give ten to twenty drops in sweetened water every two hours. for coughs, colds, etc.--syrup of morphia, three ounces; syrup of tar, three and a half ounces; chloroform, one troy ounce; glycerine, one troy ounce. mix them. dose, a teaspoonful three or four times a day. to cure hives.--compound syrup of squill, u. s., three ounces; syrup of ipecac, u. s., one ounce. mix them. dose, a teaspoonful. to cure sick headache.--gather sumach leaves in the summer, and spread them in the sun a few days to dry. then powder them fine, and smoke, morning and evening for two weeks, also whenever there are symptoms of approaching headache. use a new clay pipe. if these directions are adhered to, this medicine will surely effect a permanent cure. whooping cough.--dissolve a scruple of salt of tartar in a gill of water; add to it ten grains of cochineal; sweeten it with sugar. give to an infant a quarter teaspoonful four times a day; two years old, one-half teaspoonful; from four years, a tablespoonful. great care is required in the administration of medicines to infants. we can assure paternal inquirers that the foregoing may be depended upon. cut or bruise.--apply the moist surface of the inside coating or skin of the shell of a raw egg. it will adhere of itself, leave no scar, and heal without pain. disinfectant.--chloride of lime should be scattered at least once a week under sinks and wherever sewer gas is likely to penetrate. [illustration: the young doctor.] { } costiveness.--common charcoal is highly recommended for costiveness. it may be taken in tea- or tablespoonful, or even larger doses, according to the exigencies of the case, mixed with molasses, repeating it as often as necessary. bathe the bowels with pepper and vinegar. or take two ounces of rhubarb, add one ounce of rust of iron, infuse in one quart of wine. half a wineglassful every morning. or take pulverized blood root, one drachm, pulverized rhubarb, one drachm, castile soap, two scruples. mix. and roll into thirty-two pills. take one, morning and night. by following these directions it may perhaps save you from a severe attack of the piles, or some other kindred disease. to cure deafness.--obtain pure pickerel oil, and apply four drops morning and evening to the ear. great care should be taken to obtain oil that is perfectly pure. deafness.--take three drops of sheep's gall, warm, and drop it into the ear on going to bed. the ear must be syringed with warm soap and water in the morning. the gall must be applied for three successive nights. it is only efficacious when the deafness is produced by cold. the most convenient way of warming the gall is by holding it in a silver spoon over the flame of a light. the above remedy has been frequently tried with perfect success. gout.--this is col. birch's recipe for rheumatic gout or acute rheumatism, commonly called in england the "chelsea pensioner." half an ounce of nitre (saltpetre), half an ounce of sulphur, half an ounce of flour of mustard, half an ounce of turkey rhubarb, quarter of an ounce of powdered guaicum. mix, and take a teaspoonful every other night for three nights, and omit three nights, in a wine-glassful of cold water which has been previously well boiled. ringworm.--the head is to be washed twice a day with soft soap and warm soft water; when dried the places to be rubbed with a piece of linen rag dipped in ammonia from gas tar; the patient should take a little sulphur and molasses, or some other genuine aperient, every morning; brushes and combs should be washed every day, and the ammonia kept tightly corked. piles.--hamamelis, both internally or as an injection in rectum. bathe the parts with cold water or with astringent lotions, as alum water, especially in bleeding piles. ointment of gallic acid and calomel is of repute. the best treatment of all is, suppositories of iodoform, ergotine, or tannic acid, which can be made at any drug store. { } chicken pox.--no medicine is usually needed, except a tea made from pleurisy root, to make the child sweat. milk diet is the best; avoidance of animal food; careful attention to the bowels; keep cool and avoid exposure to cold. scarlet fever.--cold water compress on the throat. fats and oils rubbed on hands and feet. the temperature of the room should be about degrees fahr., and all draughts avoided. mustard baths for retrocession of the rash and to bring it out. diet: ripe fruit, toast, gruel, beef tea and milk. stimulants are useful to counteract depression of the vital forces. false measles or rose rash.--it requires no treatment except hygienic. keep the bowels open. nourishing diet, and if there is itching, moisten the skin with five per cent. solution of aconite or solution of starch and water. bilious attacks.--drop doses of muriatic acid in a wine glass of water every four hours, or the following prescription. bicarbonate of soda, one drachm; aromatic spirits of ammonia, two drachms; peppermint water, four ounces. dose: take a teaspoonful every four hours. diarrhoea.--the following prescription is generally all that will be necessary: acetate of lead, eight grains; gum arabic, two drachms; acetate of morphia, one grain; and cinnamon water, eight ounces. take a teaspoonful every three hours. be careful not to eat too much food. some consider, the best treatment is to fast, and it is a good suggestion. patients should keep quiet and have the room of a warm and even temperature. vomiting.--ice dissolved in the mouth, often cures vomiting when all remedies fail. much depends on the diet of persons liable to such attacks; this should be easily digestible food, taken often and in small quantities. vomiting can often be arrested by applying a mustard paste over the region of the stomach. it is not necessary to allow it to remain until the parts are blistered, but it may be removed when the part becomes thoroughly red, and reapplied if required after the redness has disappeared. one of the secrets to relieve vomiting is to give the stomach perfect rest, not allowing the patient even a glass of water, as long as the tendency remains to throw it up again. nervous headache.--extract hyoscymus five grains, pulverized camphor five grains. mix. make four pills, one to be taken when the pain is most severe in nervous headache. or three drops tincture nux vomica in a spoonful of water, two or three times a day. { } bleeding from the nose,--from whatever cause--may generally be stopped by putting a plug of lint into the nostril; if this does not do, apply a cold lotion to the forehead; raise the head and place both arms over the head, so that it will rest on both hands; dip the lint plug, slightly moistened, in some powdered gum arabic, and plug the nostrils again; or dip the plug into equal parts of gum arabic and alum. an easier and simpler method is to place a piece of writing paper on the gums of the upper jaw, under the upper lip, and let it remain there for a few minutes. boils.--these should be brought to a head by warm poultices of camomile flowers, or boiled white lily root, or onion root, by fermentation with hot water, or by stimulating plasters. when ripe they should be destroyed by a needle or lancet. but this should not be attempted until they are thoroughly proved. bunions may be checked in their early development by binding the joint with adhesive plaster, and keeping it on as long as any uneasiness is felt. the bandaging should be perfect, and it might be well to extend it round the foot. an inflamed bunion should be poulticed, and larger shoes be worn. iodine grains, lard or spermaceti ointment half an ounce, makes a capital ointment for bunions. it should be rubbed on gently twice or three times a day. felons.--one table-spoonful of red lead, and one table-spoonful of castile soap, and mix them with as much weak lye as will make it soft enough to spread like a salve, and apply it on the first appearance of the felon, and it will cure in ten or twelve days. cure for warts.--the easiest way to get rid of warts, is to pare off the thickened skin which covers the prominent wart; cut it off by successive layers and shave it until you come to the surface of the skin, and till you draw blood in two or three places. then rub the part thoroughly over with lunar caustic, and one effective operation of this kind will generally destroy the wart; if not, you cut off the black spot which has been occasioned by the caustic, and apply it again; or you may apply acetic acid, and thus you will get rid of it. care must be taken in applying these acids, not to rub them on the skin around the wart. wens.--take the yoke of some eggs, beat up, and add as much fine salt as will dissolve, and apply a plaster to the wen every ten hours. it cures without pain or any other inconvenience. * * * * * { } how to cure apoplexy, bad breath and quinsy. . apoplexy.--apoplexy occurs only in the corpulent or obese, and those of gross or high living. _treatment._--raise the head to a nearly upright position; loosen all tight clothes, strings, etc., and apply cold water to the head and warm water and warm cloths to the feet. have the apartment cool and well ventilated. give nothing by the mouth until the breathing is relieved, and then only draughts of cold water. . bad breath.--bad or foul breath will be removed by taking a teaspoonful of the following mixture after each meal: one ounce chloride of soda, one ounce liquor of potassa, one and one-half ounces phosphate of soda, and three ounces of water. . quinsy.--this is an inflammation of the tonsils, or common inflammatory sore throat; commences with a slight feverish attack, with considerable pain and swelling of the tonsils, causing some difficulty in swallowing; as the attack advances, these symptoms become more intense, there is headache, thirst, a painful sense of tension, and acute darting pains in the ears. the attack is generally brought on by exposure to cold, and lasts from five to seven days, when it subsides naturally, or an abscess may form in tonsils and burst, or the tonsils may remain enlarged, the inflammation subsiding. _home treatment._--the patient should remain in a warm room, the diet chiefly milk and good broths, some cooling laxative and diaphoretic medicine may be given; but the greatest relief will be found in the frequent inhalation of the steam of hot water through an inhaler, or in the old-fashioned way through the spout of a teapot. * * * * * { } sensible rules for the nurse. "remember to be extremely neat in dress; a few drops of hartshorn in the water used for _daily_ bathing will remove the disagreeable odors of warmth and perspiration. "never speak of the symptoms of your patient in his presence, unless questioned by the doctor, whose orders you are always to obey _implicitly_. "remember never to be a gossip or tattler, and always to hold sacred the knowledge which, to a certain extent, you must obtain of the private affairs of your patient and the household in which you nurse. "never contradict your patient, nor argue with him, nor let him see that you are annoyed about anything. "never _whisper_ in the sick room. if your patient be well enough, and wishes you to talk to him, speak in a low, distinct voice, on cheerful subjects. don't relate painful hospital experiences, nor give details of the maladies of former patients, and remember never to startle him with accounts of dreadful crimes or accidents that you have read in the newspapers. "_write_ down the orders that the physician gives you as to time for giving the medicines, food, etc. "keep the room bright (unless the doctor orders it darkened). "let the air of the room be as pure as possible, and keep everything in order, but without being fussy and bustling. "the only way to remove dust in a sick room is to wipe everything with a damp cloth. "remember to carry out all vessels covered. empty and wash them immediately, and keep some disinfectant in them. "remember that to leave the patient's untasted food by his side, from meal to meal, in hopes that he will eat it in the interval, is simply to prevent him from taking any food at all. "medicines, beef tea or stimulants, should never be kept where the patient can see them or smell them. "light-colored clothing should be worn by those who have the care of the sick, in preference to dark-colored apparel; particularly if the disease is of a contagious nature. experiments have shown that black and other dark colors will absorb more readily the subtle effluvia that emanates from sick persons than white or light colors." * * * * * { } longevity. the following table exhibits very recent mortality statistics, showing the average duration of life among persons of various classes: _employment_ _years_. judges farmers bank officers coopers public officers clergymen shipwrights hatters lawyers rope makers blacksmiths merchants calico printers physicians butchers carpenters masons traders tailors jewelers manufacturers bakers painters shoemakers mechanics editors musicians printers machinists teachers clerks operatives "it will be easily seen, by these figures, how a quiet or tranquil life affects longevity. the phlegmatic man will live longer, all other things being equal, than the sanguine, nervous individual. marriage is favorable to longevity, and it has also been ascertained that women live longer than men." { } [illustration: hot water throat bag. hot water bag.] how to apply and use hot water in all diseases. . the hot water throat bag. the hot water throat bag is made from fine white rubber fastened to the head by a rubber band (see illustration), and is an unfailing remedy for catarrh, hay fever, cold, toothache, headache, earache, neuralgia, etc. . the hot water bottle. no well regulated house should be without a hot water bottle. it is excellent in the application of hot water for inflammations, colic, headache, congestion, cold feet, rheumatism, sprains, etc., etc. it is an excellent warming pan and an excellent feet and hand warmer when riding. these hot water bags in any variety can be purchased at any drug store. . boiling water may be used in the bags and the heat will be retained many hours. they are soft and pliable and pleasant to the touch, and can be adjusted to any part of the body. . hot water is good for constipation, torpid liver, and relieves colic and flatulence, and is of special value. . _caution_. when hot water bags or any hot fomentation { } is removed, replace dry flannel and bathe parts in tepid water and rub till dry. . by inflammations it is best to use hot water and then cold water. it seems to give more immediate relief. hot water is a much better remedy than drugs, paragoric, dover's powder or morphine. always avoid the use of strong poisonous drugs when possible. . those who suffer from cold feet there is no better remedy than to bathe the feet in cold water before retiring and then place a hot water bottle in the bed at the feet. a few weeks of such treatment results in relief if not cure of the most obstinate case. * * * * * how to use cold water. use a compress of cold water for acute or chronic inflammation, such as sore throat, bronchitis, croup, inflammation of the lungs, etc. if there is a hot and aching pain in the back apply a compress of cold water on the same, or it may simply be placed across the back or around the body. the most depends upon the condition of the patient. [illustration] { } practical rules for bathing. [illustration] . bathe at least once a week all over, thoroughly. no one can preserve his health by neglecting personal cleanliness. remember, "cleanliness is akin to godliness." . only mild soap should be used in bathing the body. . wipe quickly and dry the body thoroughly with a moderately coarse towel. rub the skin vigorously. { } . many people have contracted severe and fatal diseases by neglecting to take proper care of the body after bathing. . if you get up a good reaction by thorough rubbing in a mild temperature, the effect is always good. . never go into a cold room, or allow cold air to enter the room until you are dressed. . bathing in cold rooms and in cold water is positively injurious, unless the person possesses a very strong and vigorous constitution, and then there is great danger of laying the foundation of some serious disease. . never bathe within two hours after eating. it injures digestion. . never bathe when the body or mind is much exhausted. it is liable to check the healthful circulation. . a good time for bathing is just before retiring. the morning hour is a good time also, if a warm room and warm water can be secured. . never bathe a fresh wound or broken skin with cold water; the wound absorbs water, and causes swelling and irritation. . a person not robust should be very careful in bathing; great care should be exercised to avoid any chilling effects. [illustration] { } all the different kinds of baths, and how to prepare them. the sulphur bath. for the itch, ringworm, itching, and for other slight skin irritations, bathe in water containing a little sulphur. the salt bath. to open the pores of the skin, put a little common salt into the water. borax, baking soda or lime used in the same way are excellent for cooling and cleansing the skin. a very small quantity in a bowl of water is sufficient. the vapor bath. . for catarrh, bronchitis, pleurisy, inflammation of the lungs, rheumatism, fever, affections of the bowels and kidneys, and skin diseases, the vapor-bath is an excellent remedy. . apparatus.--use a small alcohol lamp, and place over it a small dish containing water. light the lamp and allow the water to boil. place a cane-bottom chair over the lamp, and seat the patient on it. wrap blankets or quilts around the chair and around the patient, closing it tightly about the neck. after free perspiration is produced the patient should be wrapped in warm blankets, and placed in bed, so as to continue the perspiration for some time. . a convenient alcohol lamp may be made by taking a tin box, placing a tube in it, and putting in a common lamp wick. any tinner can make one in a few minutes, at a trifling cost. the hot-air bath. . place the alcohol lamp under the chair, without the dish of water. then place the patient on the chair, as in the vapor bath, and let him remain until a gentle and free perspiration is produced. this bath may be taken from time to time, as may be deemed necessary. . while remaining in the hot-air bath the patient may drink freely of cold or tepid water. . as soon as the bath is over the patient should be washed with hot water and soap. . the hot-air bath is excellent for colds, skin diseases, and the gout. { } the sponge bath. . have a large basin of water of the temperature of or degrees. as soon as the patient rises rub the body over with a soft, dry towel until it becomes warm. . now sponge the body with water and a little soap, at the same time keeping the body well covered, except such portions as are necessarily exposed. then dry the skin carefully with a soft, warm towel. rub the skin well for two or three minutes, until every part becomes red and perfectly dry. . sulphur, lime or salt, and sometimes mustard, may be used in any of the sponge baths, according to the disease. the foot bath. . the foot bath, in coughs, colds, asthma, headaches and fevers, is excellent. one or two tablespoonfuls of ground mustard added to a gallon of hot water, is very beneficial. . heat the water as hot as the patient can endure it, and gradually increase the temperature by pouring in additional quantities of hot water during the bath. the sitz bath. a tub is arranged so that the patient can sit down in it while bathing. fill the tub about one-half full of water. this is an excellent remedy for piles, constipation, headache, gravel, and for acute and inflammatory affections generally. the acid bath. place a little vinegar in water, and heat to the usual temperature. this is an excellent remedy for the disorders of the liver. * * * * * a sure cure for prickly heat. . prickly heat is caused by hot weather, by excess of flesh, by rough flannels, by sudden changes of temperature, or by over-fatigue. . treatment--bathe two or three times a day with warm water, in which a moderate quantity of bran and common soda has been stirred. after wiping the skin dry, dust the affected parts with common cornstarch. * * * * * { } digestibility of food. article of food. condition. hours required. rice boiled . eggs, whipped raw . trout, salmon, fresh boiled . apples, sweet and mellow raw . venison steak broiled . tapioca boiled . barley " . milk " . bullock's liver, fresh broiled . fresh eggs raw . codfish, cured and dry boiled . milk raw . wild turkey roasted . domestic turkey " . goose " . sucking pig " . fresh lamb broiled . hash, meat and vegetables warmed . beans and pod boiled . parsnips " . irish potatoes roasted . chicken fricassee . custard baked . salt beef boiled . sour and hard apples raw . fresh oysters " . fresh eggs soft boiled . beef, fresh, lean and rare roasted . beef steak broiled . pork, recently salted stewed . fresh mutton boiled . soup, beans " . soup, chicken " . apple dumpling " . fresh oysters roasted . pork steak broiled . fresh mutton roasted . corn bread baked . carrots boiled . fresh sausage broiled . fresh flounder fried . fresh catfish " . fresh oysters stewed . butter melted . old, strong cheese raw . mutton soup boiled . oyster soup " . fresh wheat bread baked . flat turnips boiled . irish potatoes " . fresh eggs hard boiled . " " fried . green corn and beans boiled . beets " . fresh, lean beef fried . fresh veal broiled . domestic fowls roasted . ducks " . beef soup, vegetables and bread boiled . pork, recently salted " . fresh veal fried . cabbage, with vinegar boiled . pork, fat and lean roasted . * * * * * { } how to cook for the sick. useful dietetic recipes. * * * * * gruels. . oatmeal gruel.--stir two tablespoonfuls of coarse oatmeal into a quart of boiling water, and let it simmer two hours. strain, if preferred. . beef tea and oatmeal.--beat two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal, with two tablespoonfuls of cold water until very smooth, then add a pint of hot beef tea. boil together six or eight minutes, stirring constantly. strain through a fine sieve. . milk gruel.--into a pint of scalding milk stir two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal. add a pint of boiling water, and boil until the meal is thoroughly cooked. . milk porridge.--place over the fire equal parts of milk and water. just before it boils, add a small quantity (a tablespoonful to a pint of water) of graham flour or cornmeal, previously mixed with water, and boil three minutes. . sago gruel.--take two tablespoonfuls of sago and place them in a small saucepan, moisten gradually with a little cold water. set the preparation on a slow fire, and keep stirring till it becomes rather stiff and clear. add a little grated nutmeg and sugar to taste; if preferred, half a pat of butter may also be added with the sugar. . cream gruel.--put a pint and a half of water on the stove in a saucepan. take one tablespoon of flour and the same of cornmeal; mix this with cold water, and as soon as the water in the saucepan boils, stir it in slowly. let it boil slowly about twenty minutes, stirring constantly; then add a little salt and a gill of sweet cream. do not let it boil after putting in the cream, but turn into a bowl and cover tightly. serve in a pretty cup and saucer. { } drinks. . apple water.--cut two large apples into slices and pour a quart of boiling water on them, or on roasted apples: strain in two or three hours and sweeten slightly. . orangeade.--take the thin peel of two oranges and of one lemon; add water and sugar the same as for hot lemonade. when cold add the juice of four or five oranges and one lemon and strain off. . hot lemonade.--take two thin slices and the juice of one lemon; mix with two tablespoonfuls of granulated sugar, and add one-half pint of boiling water. . flaxseed lemonade.--two tablespoonfuls of whole flaxseed to a pint of boiling water, let it steep three hours, strain when cool and add the juice of two lemons and two tablespoonfuls of honey. if too thick, put in cold water. splendid for colds and suppression of urine. . jelly water.--sour jellies dissolved in water make a pleasant drink for fever patients. . toast water.--toast several thin pieces of bread a nice deep brown, but do not blacken or burn. break into small pieces and put into a jar. pour over the pieces a quart of boiling water; cover the jar and let it stand an hour before using. strain if desired. . white of egg and milk.--the white of an egg beaten to a stiff froth, and stirred very quickly into a glass of milk, is a very nourishing food for persons whose digestion is weak, also for children who cannot digest milk alone. . egg cocoa.--one-half teaspoon cocoa with enough hot water to make a paste. take one egg, beat white and yolk separately. stir into a cup of milk heated to nearly boiling. sweeten if desired. very nourishing. . egg lemonade.--white of one egg, one tablespoonful pulverized sugar, juice of one lemon and one goblet of water. beat together. very grateful in inflammation of lungs, stomach or bowels. . beef tea.--for every quart of tea desired use one pound of fresh beef, from which all fat, bones and sinews have been carefully removed; cut the beef into pieces a quarter of an inch thick and mix with a pint of cold water. let it stand an hour, then pour into a glass fruit can and place in a vessel of water; let it heat on the stove another hour, but do not let it boil. strain before using. { } jellies. . sago jelly.--simmer gently in a pint of water two tablespoonfuls of sago until it thickens, frequently stirring. a little sugar may be added if desired. . chicken jelly.--take half a raw chicken, tie in a coarse cloth and pound, till well mashed, bones and meat together. place the mass in a covered dish with water sufficient to cover it well. allow it to simmer slowly till the liquor is reduced about one-half and the meat is thoroughly cooked. press through a fine sieve or cloth, and salt to taste. place on the stove to simmer about five minutes. when cold remove all particles of grease. . mulled jelly.--take one tablespoonful of currant or grape jelly; beat it with the white of one egg and a little loaf sugar; pour on it one-half pint of boiling water and break in a slice of dry toast or two crackers. . bread jelly.--pour boiling water over bread crumbs; place the mixture on the fire and let it boil until it is perfectly smooth. take it off, and after pouring off the water, flavor with something agreeable, as a little raspberry or currant jelly water. pour into a mold until required for use. . lemon jelly.--moisten two tablespoonfuls of cornstarch, stir into one pint boiling water; add the juice of two lemons and one-half cup of sugar. grate in a little of the rind. put in molds to cool. miscellaneous. . to cook rice.--take two cups of rice and one and one-half pints of milk. place in a covered dish and steam in a kettle of boiling water until it is cooked through, pour into cups and let it stand until cold. serve with cream. . rice omelet.--two cups boiled rice, one cup sweet milk, two eggs. stir together with egg beater, and put into a hot buttered skillet. cook slowly ten minutes, stirring frequently. . browned rice.--parch or brown rice slowly. steep in milk for two hours. the rice or the milk only is excellent in summer complaint. . stewed oysters.--take one pint of milk, one cup of water, a teaspoon of salt: when boiling put in one pint of { } bulk oysters. stir occasionally and remove from the stove before it boils. an oyster should not be shriveled in cooking. . broiled oysters.--put large oysters on a wire toaster. hold over hot coals until heated through. serve on toast moistened with cream. very grateful in convalescence. . oyster toast.--pour stewed oysters over graham gems or bread toasted. excellent for breakfast. . graham crisps.--mix graham flour and cold water into a very stiff dough. knead, roll very thin, and bake quickly in a hot oven. excellent food for dyspeptics. . apple snow.--take seven apples, not very sweet ones, and bake till soft and brown. then remove the skins and cores; when cool, beat them smooth and fine; add one-half cup of granulated sugar and the white of one egg. beat till the mixture will hold on your spoon. serve with soft custard. . eggs on toast.--soften brown bread toast with hot water, put on a platter and cover with poached or scrambled eggs. . boiled eggs.--an egg should never be boiled. place in boiling water and set back on the stove for from seven to ten minutes. a little experience will enable anyone to do it successfully. . cracked wheat pudding.--in a deep two-quart pudding dish put layers of cold, cooked, cracked wheat, and tart apples sliced thin, with four tablespoonfuls of sugar. raisins can be added if preferred. fill the dish, having the wheat last, add a cup of cold water. bake two hours. . pie for dyspeptics.--four tablespoonfuls of oatmeal, one pint of water; let stand for a few hours, or until the meal is swelled. then add two large apples, pared and sliced, a little salt, one cup of sugar, one tablespoonful of flour. mix all well together and bake in a buttered dish; makes a most delicious pie, which can be eaten with safety by the sick or well. . apple tapioca pudding.--soak a teacup of tapioca in a quart of warm water three hours. cut in thin slices six tart apples, stir them lightly with the tapioca, add half cup sugar. bake three hours. to be eaten with whipped cream. good either warm or cold. { } . graham muffins.--take one pint of new milk, one pint graham or entire wheat flour; stir together and add one beaten egg. can be baked in any kind of gem pans or muffin rings. salt must not be used with any bread that is made light with egg. . strawberry dessert.--place alternate layers of hot cooked cracked wheat and strawberries in a deep dish; when cold, turn out on platter; cut in slices and serve with cream and sugar, or strawberry juice. wet the molds with cold water before using. this, molded in small cups, makes a dainty dish for the sick. wheatlet can be used in the same way. . fruit blanc mange.--one quart of juice of strawberries, cherries, grapes or other juicy fruit; one cup water. when boiling, add two tablespoonfuls sugar and four tablespoonfuls cornstarch wet in cold water; let boil five or six minutes, then mold in small cups. serve without sauce, or with cream or boiled custard. lemon juice can be used the same, only requiring more water. this is a very valuable dish for convalescents and pregnant women, where the stomach rejects solid food. [illustration] { } save the girls. [illustration: good advice from grandpa.] . public balls.--the church should turn its face like flint against the public ball. its influence is evil, and nothing but evil. it is a well known fact that in all cities and large towns the ball room is the recruiting office for prostitution. . thoughtless young women.--in cities public balls are given every night, and many thoughtless young women, { } mostly the daughters of small tradesmen and mechanics, or clerks or laborers, are induced to attend "just for fun." scarcely one in a hundred of the girls attending these balls preserve their purity. they meet the most desperate characters, professional gamblers, criminals and the lowest debauchees. such an assembly and such influence cannot mean anything but ruin for an innocent girl. . vile women.--the public ball is always a resort of vile women who picture to innocent girls the ease and luxury of a harlot's life, and offer them all manner of temptations to abandon the paths of virtue. the public ball is the resort of the libertine and the adulterer, and whose object is to work the ruin of every innocent girl that may fall into their clutches. . the question.--why does society wonder at the increase of prostitution, when the public balls and promiscuous dancing is so largely endorsed and encouraged? . working girls.--thousands of innocent working girls enter innocently and unsuspectingly into the paths which lead them to the house of evil, or who wander the streets as miserable outcasts all through the influence of the dance. the low theatre and dance halls and other places of unselected gatherings are the milestones which mark the working girl's downward path from virtue to vice, from modesty to shame. . the saleswoman, the seamstress, the factory girl or any other virtuous girl had better, far better, die than take the first step in the path of impropriety and danger. better, a thousand times better, better for this life, better for the life to come, an existence of humble, virtuous industry than a single departure from virtue, even though it were paid with a fortune. . temptations.--there is not a young girl but what is more or less tempted by some unprincipled wretch who may have the reputation of a genteel society man. it behooves parents to guard carefully the morals of their daughters, and be vigilant and cautious in permitting them to accept the society of young men. parents who desire to save their daughters from a fate which is worse than death, should endeavor by every means in their power to keep them from falling into traps cunningly devised by some cunning lover. there are many good young men, but not all are safe friends to an innocent, confiding young girl. . prostitution.--some girls inherit their vicious tendency; others fall because of misplaced affections; many sin through a love of dress, which is fostered by society and { } by the surroundings amidst which they may be placed; many, very many, embrace a life of shame to escape poverty. while each of these different phases of prostitution require a different remedy, we need better men, better women, better laws and better protection for the young girls. [illustration: a russian spinning girl.] . a startling fact.--startling as it may seem to some, it is a fact in our large cities that there are many girls raised { } by parents with no other aim than to make them harlots. at a tender age they are sold by fathers and mothers into an existence which is worse than slavery itself. it is not uncommon to see girls at the tender age of thirteen or fourteen--mere children--hardened courtesans, lost to all sense of shame and decency. they are reared in ignorance, surrounded by demoralizing influences, cut off from the blessings of church and sabbath school, see nothing but licentiousness, intemperance and crime. these young girls are lost forever. they are beyond the reach of the moralist or preacher and have no comprehension of modesty and purity. virtue to them is a stranger, and has been from the cradle. . a great wrong.--parents too poor to clothe themselves bring children into the world, children for whom they have no bread, consequently the girl easily falls a victim in early womanhood to the heartless libertine. the boy with no other schooling but that of the streets soon masters all the qualifications for a professional criminal. if there could be a law forbidding people to marry who have no visible means of supporting a family, or if they should marry, if their children could be taken from them and properly educated by the state, it would cost the country less and be a great step in advancing our civilization. . the first step.--thousands of fallen women could have been saved from lives of degradation and deaths of shame had they received more toleration and loving forgiveness in their first steps of error. many women naturally pure and virtuous have fallen to the lowest depths because discarded by friends, frowned upon by society, and sneered at by the world, after they had taken a single mis-step. society forgives man, but woman never. . in the beginning of every girl's downward career there is necessarily a hesitation. she naturally ponders over what course to take, dreading to meet friends and looking into the future with horror. that moment is the vital turning point in her career; a kind word of forgiveness, a mother's embrace a father's welcome may save her. the bloodhounds, known as the seducer, the libertine, the procurer, are upon her track; she is trembling on the frightful brink of the abyss. extend a helping hand and save her! . father, if your daughter goes astray, do not drive her from your home. mother, if your child errs, do not close your heart against her. sisters and brothers and friends, do not force her into the pathway of shame, but rather strive to win her back into the eden of virtue, and in nine cases out of ten you will succeed. { } . society evils.--the dance, the theater, the wine-cup, the race-course, the idle frivolity and luxury of summer watering places, all have a tendency to demoralize the young. . bad society.--much of our modern society admits libertines and seducers to the drawing-room, while it excludes their helpless and degraded victims, consequently it is not strange that there are skeletons in many closets, matrimonial infelicity and wayward girls. . "'know thyself,' says dr. saur, "is an important maxim for us all, and especially is it true for girls. "all are born with the desire to become attractive--girls especially want to grow up, not only attractive, but beautiful. some girls think that bright eyes, pretty hair and fine clothes alone make them beautiful. this is not so. real beauty depends upon good health, good manners and a pure mind. "as the happiness of our girls depends upon their health, it behoves us all to guide the girls in such a way as to bring forward the best of results. . "there is no one who stands so near the girl as the mother. from early childhood she occupies the first place in the little one's confidence--she laughs, plays, and corrects, when necessary, the faults of her darling. she should be equally ready to guide in the important laws of life and health upon which rest her future. teach your daughters that in all things the 'creative principle' has its source in life itself. it originates from divine life, and when they know that it may be consecrated to wise and useful purposes, they are never apt to grow up with base thoughts or form bad habits. their lives become a happiness to themselves and a blessing to humanity. . teach wisely.--"teach your daughters that _all life_ originates from a seed--a germ. knowing this law, you need have no fears that base or unworthy thoughts of the reproductive function can ever enter their minds. the growth, development and ripening of human seed becomes a beautiful and sacred mystery. the tree, the rose and all plant life are equally as mysterious and beautiful in their reproductive life. does not this alone prove to us, conclusively, that there is a divinity in the background governing, controlling and influencing our lives? nature has no secrets, and why should we? none at all. the only care we should experience is in teaching wisely. { } "yes--lead them wisely--teach them that the seed, the germ of a new life, is maturing within them. teach them that between the ages of eleven and fourteen this maturing process has certain physical signs. the breasts grow round and full, the whole body, even the voice, undergoes a change. it is right that they should be taught the natural law of life in reproduction and the physiological structure of their being. again we repeat that these lessons should be taught by the mother, and in a tender, delicate and confidential way. become, oh, mother, your daughter's companion, and she will not go elsewhere for this knowledge--which must come to all in time, but possibly too late and through sources that would prove more harm than good. . the organs of creative life in women are: ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, vagina and mammary glands. the _ovaries_ and _fallopian tubes_ have already been described under "the female generative organs." "the _uterus_ is a pear-shaped muscular organ, situated in the lower portion of the pelvis, between the bladder and the rectum. it is less than three inches in length and two inches in width and one in thickness. "the _vagina_ is a membranous canal which joins the internal outlet with the womb, which projects slightly into it. the opening into the vagina is nearly oval, and in those who have never indulged in sexual intercourse or in handling the sexual organs is more or less closed by a membrane termed the _hymen_. the presence of this membrane was formerly considered as undoubted evidence of virginity; its absence, a lack of chastity. "the _mammary glands_ are accessory to the generative organs. they secrete milk, which the all-wise father provided for the nourishment of the child after birth. . "menstruation, which appears about the age of thirteen years, is the flow from the uterus that occurs every month as the seed-germ ripens in the ovaries. god made the sexual organs so that the race should not die out. he gave them to us so that we may reproduce life, and thus fill the highest position in the created universe. the purpose for which they are made is high and holy and honorable, and if they are used only for this purpose--and they must not be used at all until they are fully matured--they will be a source of greatest blessing to us all. [illustration: hopeful youth.] . "a careful study of this organ, of its location, of its arteries and nerves, will convince the growing girl that { } her body should never submit to corsets and tight lacing in response to the demands of fashion, even though nature has so bountifully provided for the safety of this important organ. by constant pressure the vagina and womb may be compressed into one-third their natural length or crowded into an unnatural position. we can readily see, then, the effect of lacing or tight clothing. under these circumstances the ligaments lose their elasticity, and as a result we have prolapsus or falling of the womb. . "i am more anxious for growing girls than for any other earthly object. these girls are to be the mothers of future generations; upon them hangs the destiny of the world in coming time, and if they can be made to understand what is right and what is wrong with regard to their own bodies now, while they are young, the children they will give birth to and the men and women who shall call them mother will be of a higher type and belong to a nobler class than those of the present day. . "all women cannot have good features, but they can look well, and it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much of the figure. the first step to good looks is good health, and the first element of health is cleanliness. keep clean--wash freely, bathe regularly. all the skin wants is leave to act, and it takes care of itself. . "girls sometimes get the idea that it is nice to be 'weak' and 'delicate,' but they cannot get a more false idea! god meant women to be strong and able-bodied, and only by being so can they be happy and capable of imparting happiness to others. it is only by being strong and healthy that they can be perfect in their sexual nature; and it is only by being perfect in this part of their being that you can become a noble, grand and beautiful woman. . "up to the age of puberty, if the girl has grown naturally, waist, hips and shoulders are about the same in width, the shoulders being, perhaps, a trifle the broadest. up to this time the sexual organs have grown but little. now they take a sudden start and need more room. nature aids the girls; the tissues and muscles increase in size and the pelvis bones enlarge. the limbs grow plump, the girl stops growing tall and becomes round and full. unsuspected strength comes to her; tasks that were once hard to perform are now easy; her voice becomes sweeter and stronger. the mind develops more rapidly even than the body; her brain is more active and quicker; subjects that once were { } dull and dry have unwonted interest; lessons are more easily learned; the eyes sparkle with intelligence, indicating increased mental power; her manner denotes the consciousness of new power; toys of childhood are laid away; womanly thoughts and pursuits fill her mind; budding childhood has become blooming womanhood. now, if ever, must be laid the foundation of physical vigor and of a healthy body. girls should realize the significance of this fact. do not get the idea that men admire a weakly, puny, delicate, small-waisted, languid, doll-like creature, a libel on true womanhood. girls admire men with broad chests, square shoulders, erect form, keen bright eyes, hard muscles and undoubted vigor. men also turn naturally to healthy, robust, well-developed girls, and to win their admiration girls must meet their ideals. a good form, a sound mind and a healthy body are within the reach of nine out of ten of our girls by proper care and training. physical bankruptcy may claim the same proportion if care and training are neglected. . "a woman five feet tall should measure two feet around the waist and thirty-three inches around the hips. a waist less than this proportion indicates compression either by lacing or tight clothing. exercise in the open air, take long walks and vigorous exercise, using care not to overdo it. housework will prove a panacea for many of the ills which flesh is heir to. one hour's exercise at the wash-*tub is of far more value, from a physical standpoint, than hours at the piano. boating is most excellent exercise and within the reach of many. care in dressing is also important, and, fortunately, fashion is coming to the rescue here. it is essential that no garments be suspended from the waist. let the shoulders bear the weight of all the clothing, so that the organs of the body may be left free and unimpeded. . "sleep should be had regularly and abundantly. avoid late hours, undue excitement, evil associations; partake of plain, nutritious food, and health will be your reward. there is one way of destroying health, which, fortunately, is not as common among girls as boys, and which must be mentioned ere this chapter closes. self-abuse is practised among growing girls to such an extent as to arouse serious alarm. many a girl has been led to handle and play with her sexual organs through the advice of some girl who has obtained temporary pleasure in that { } way; or, perchance, chafing has been followed by rubbing until the organs have become congested with blood, and in this accidental manner the girl discovered what seems to her a source of pleasure, but which, alas, is a source of misery, and even death. . "as in the boy, so in the girl, self-abuse causes an undue amount of blood to flow to those organs, thus depriving other parts of the body of its nourishment, the weakest part first showing the effect of want of sustenance. all that has been said upon this loathsome subject in the preceding chapter for boys might well be repeated here, but space forbids. read that chapter again, and know that the same signs that betray the boy will make known the girl addicted to the vice. the bloodless lips, the dull, heavy eye surrounded with dark rings, the nerveless hand, the blanched cheek, the short breath, the old, faded look, the weakened memory and silly irritability tell the story all too plainly. the same evil result follows, ending perhaps in death, or worse, in insanity. aside from the injury the girl does herself by yielding to this habit, there is one other reason which appeals to the conscience, and that is, self-abuse is an offence against moral law--it is putting to a vile, selfish use the organs which were given for a high, sacred purpose. . "let them alone, except to care for them when care is needed, and they may prove the greatest blessing you have ever known. they were given you that you might become a mother, the highest office to which god has ever called one of his creatures. do not debase yourself and become lower than the beasts of the field. if this habit has fastened itself upon any one of our readers, stop it now. do not allow yourself to think about it, give up all evil associations, seek pure companions, and go to your mother, older sister, or physician for advice. . "and you, mother, knowing the danger that besets your daughters at this critical period, are you justified in keeping silent? can you be held guiltless if your daughter ruins body and mind because you were _too modest_ to tell her the laws of her being? there is no love that is dearer to your daughter than _yours_, no advice that is more respected than _yours_, no one whose warning would be more potent. fail not in your duty. as motherhood has been your sweetest joy, so help your daughter to make it hers." * * * * * { } save the boys. plain words to parents. [illustration: young garfield driving team on the canal.] . with a shy look, approaching his mother when she was alone, the boy of fifteen said, "there are some things i want to ask you. i hear the boys speak of them at school, and i don't understand, and a fellow doesn't like to ask any one but his mother." . drawing him down to her, in the darkness that was closing about them, the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely of things which everybody must know sooner or later, and which no boy should learn from "anyone but his mother" or father. . if you do not answer such a natural question, your boy will turn for answer to others, and learn things, perhaps, which your cheeks may well blush to have him know. . our boys and girls are growing faster than we think. the world moves; we can no longer put off our children { } with the old nurses' tales; even macdonald's beautiful statement, "out of the everywhere into the there", does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask, "where did i come from?" . they must be answered. if we put them off, they may be tempted to go elsewhere for information, and hear half-truths, or whole truths so distorted, so mingled with what is low and impure that, struggle against it as they may in later years, their minds will always retain these early impressions. . it is not so hard if you begin early. the very flowers are object lessons. the wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower, with its stamens, pistils and ovaries. every child knows how an egg came in the nest, and takes it as a matter of course; why not go one step farther with them and teach the wonder, the beauty, the holiness that surrounds maternity anywhere? why, centuries ago the romans honored, and taught their boys to honor, the women in whose safety was bound up the future of their existence as a nation! why should we do less? . your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, need to be wisely taught and guarded just along these lines, if your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, are to grow up into a pure, healthy, christian manhood and womanhood. [illustration] { } . [ ]"how grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled! his complexion clear, his muscles firm, his movements vigorous, his manner frank, his courage undaunted, his brain active, his will firm, his self-control perfect, his body and mind unfolding day by day. his life should be one song of praise and thanksgiving. if you want your boy to be such a one, train him, my dear woman, _to-day_, and his _to-morrow_ will take care of itself. . "think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit? a thousand times, no! as we sow, so shall we reap. train your boys in morality, temperance and virtue. teach them to embrace good and shun evil. teach them the true from the false; the light from the dark. teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own, they commit a sin. teach them that _sin means disobedience of god's laws of every kind_. . "god made every organ of our body with the intention that it should perform a certain work. if we wish to see, we use our eyes; if we want to hear, our ears are called into use. in fact, nature teaches us the proper use of _all our organs_. i say to you, mother, and oh, so earnestly: 'go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed to do, about these organs that make him _specially a boy_.' . "teach him they are called _sexual organs_; that they are not impure, but of special importance, and made by god for a definite purpose. teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in fluid form called urine, and that it passes through the sexual organs, but that nature takes care of that. teach him that these organs are given as a sacred trust, that in maturer years he may be the means of giving life to those who shall live forever. . "impress upon him that if these organs are abused, or if they are put to any use besides that for which god made them--and he did not intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown--they will bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which god has made to govern them. if he has ever learned to handle his _sexual organs_, or to touch them in any way except to keep them clean, not to do it again. if he does he will not grow up happy, healthy and strong. . "teach him that when he handles or excites the { } sexual organs all parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' the whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited in any manner whatever. teach them to shun all children who indulge in this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. the sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. for, although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of self-abuse will ruin both soul and body. . "if the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less amount of blood than they ought to have. the sexual organs, too, are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak. . "it lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart disease. it weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. it even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide. how often mothers see their little boys handling themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. i say to you who love your boys--'watch!' . "don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm. the boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health, poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the foundation for future misery. . "do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and living truths. do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from this time on keep this thought in mind--'the saving of your boy.' follow its teachings and you will bless god as long as you live. read it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice. { } . "right here we want to emphasize the importance of _cleanliness_. we verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of thorough washing. . "it is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. this irritation being removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. the argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high physical state of those people who have practiced the custom. . "happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this direction, while her boy is still a child. for those mothers, though, whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon them, and _you_, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'begin at once; it is never too late.' if he has not lost all will power, he can be saved. let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and follow his advice. simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and congenial employment will do much. do not let the mind dwell upon evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational novels, and keep the thoughts pure. . "let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs, participate in sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. let us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of god.' god has given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence, for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or misery in the future. it is here that we decide our destiny, and our efforts to know and obey god's laws in our bodies as well as in our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but never-ending happiness throughout eternity." . a question.--how can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family of pure, clean-minded children? let the echo answer. * * * * * { } the inhumanities of parents. [illustration: an old adage: "he who loves children will do you no harm."] . not long ago a presbyterian minister in western new york whipped his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. the little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. think of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a tiger upon a lamb, and with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues of a child's body. see its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear. . how often is this the case in the punishment of children all over this broad land! death is not often the immediate consequence of this brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and the mind by fright seriously injured. . everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? add to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of child-torture. . who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn condition? . would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or cutting or burning for whipping? it would, however, be easy to show that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows many children receive. why may not lying be as legitimately cured by blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with a ruler or whip? the principle is the same; and if the principle is right, why not multiply methods? . how many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty, inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child, and when she could no more take a pin and make { } the same number of thrusts into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. yet the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper impression on the child's mind. [illustration] . we do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition by the parents. children can soon be made to understand the necessity of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching them self-denial. deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny { } them the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness and without any yielding. children will soon learn obedience if they see the parents are sincere. lessons of home government can be learned by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school. . the trouble is, many parents need more government, more training and more discipline than the little ones under their control. . scores of times during the day a child is told in a short, authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. when we speak to an elder person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the same person making the request of a child will say, "_shut the door._" "_bring me the chair._" "_stop that noise._" "_sit down there._" whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon learn to imitate the example. . on the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying "please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a rebuke and a look of scorn at once. often a child insists on having a book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an outcry is raised: "such rudeness;" "such an ill-mannered child;" "his parents must have neglected him strangely." not at all: the parents may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not to do these precise things which you dislike. but they themselves have been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old one which weighs example over against precept. . it is a bad policy to be rude to children. a child will win and be won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better manners than its parents. give them a good example and take pains in teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved children. . never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. it is the way criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned. . but there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve, if we do this to the little children whom we { } have dared for our own pleasure to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. there are thousands of young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the ignorance or indifference of parents. . parents of course love their children, but with that love there is a responsibility that cannot be shirked. the government and training of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention often much more than the claims of business. . parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home. remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your children, depend upon it. . criminals and heredity.--wm. m. f. round was for many years in charge of the house of refuge on randall's island, new york, and his opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the new york observer: "among this large number of young offenders i can state with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of criminal parents; and with equal confidence i am able to say that the common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training, in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil associations and influences. it was this knowledge that led to the establishing of the house of refuge nearly three-quarters of a century ago." . bad training.--thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in the united states that criminals are made either by the indifference or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without proper judgment and knowledge. give your children a good example, and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not. a child should never be told twice to do the same thing. teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule. do it kindly but firmly. . if your children do not obey or respect you in their childhood and youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their character for future usefulness and good citizenship? . the fundamental rule.--never tell a child twice to do the same thing. command the respect of your children, and there will be no question as to obedience. * * * * * { } chastity and purity of character. . chastity is the purest and brightest jewel in human character. dr. pierce in his widely known _medical adviser_ says: for the full and perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is necessary. the health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse. therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. only in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals, and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious rewards of virtue. impurity travels downward with intemperance, obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. a dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of human suffering, iniquity and despair. the penalties which follow a violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly retributive. [illustration] . the union of the sexes in holy matrimony is a law of nature, finding sanction in both morals and legislation. even some of the lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to blush other animals more highly endowed. it seems important to discuss this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead to ruin. . sexual propensities are possessed by all, and these must be held in abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. hence parents ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties, to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the blood into healthful channels. vigorous employment of mind and body engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of the sexual desires. _give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. stimulate the methods of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character._ { } . ignorance does not mean innocence.--it is a current idea, especially among our good common people, that the child should be kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was created or came into the world. this is a great mistake. parents must know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously enlightened on these important truths by the parent. the parent must give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure to meet outside the parental roof. the child cannot get through the a, b, c period of school without it. . conflicting views.--there is a great difference of opinion regarding the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature: some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best to have them over-wise while they are so young. wait a while." that is just the point (_they will find it out_), and we ask in all candor, is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother, untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl at school? mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl? . delay is fraught with danger.--knowledge on a subject so vitally connected with moral health must not be deferred. it is safe to say that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest, reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's laws regarding parenthood. and ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and pure parent. now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish mind. but remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one chapter; it is as important as the lessons of love and duty. . the first lessons.--should you be asked by your four or five-year old, "mamma, where did you get me?" instead of saying, "the doctor brought you," or "god made you and a stork brought you from babyland on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary question. one mother's explanation was something like this: "my dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little chickens are made. your dolly was { } made, but it has no life like you have. god has provided that all living things such as plants, trees, little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from seeds or little tiny eggs. apples grow, little chickens grow, little babies grow. apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. baby chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen for a certain time. baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is so small you cannot see it with just your eye." this was not given at once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal life. it may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully understood. . the second lesson.--the second lesson came with the question, "but _where_ is the nest?" the ice is now broken, as it were; it was an easy matter for the mother to say, "the nest in which you grew, dear, was close to your mother's heart inside her body. all things that do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the mother's body." it may be that this mother had access to illustrations of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child, a boy. he was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. it meant nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. the subject of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught that the _sexual organs_ were made for a high and holy purpose, that their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle his _sexual organs_ nor touch them in any way except to keep them clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and healthy boy. but if he excites or _abuses_ them, he will become puny, sickly and unhappy. all this was explained in language pure and simple. there is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge. . silly dirty trash.--but i hear some mother say "such silly dirty trash to tell a child!" it is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's untarnished truth. god has ordained that children should thus be brought into the world, do you call the works of god silly? remember, kind mother, and { } don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children, boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it, and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper, perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides you have lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these matters. they will never come to mamma for information on these subjects. and, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life will make you their confidant as they ought? will your beautiful daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them? will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's lap? i think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her affections. you have kept knowledge from her that she had a right to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of menstruation. troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. you know the results--she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day. you, her mother, over fastidious, _so very nice_ you would never mention "_such silly trash_," but by your consummate foolishness and mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect you as she ought. . "knowledge the preserver of purity."--laura e. scammon, writing on this subject, in the _arena_ of november, , says: "when questions arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to the comprehension of the child. treat nature and her laws always with serious, respectful attention. treat the holy mysteries of parenthood reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded all others--the law of love. say it and sing it, play it and pray it into the soul of your child, that _love is lord of all_." . conclusion of the whole matter.--observation and common sense should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright promising boys wrecked by _self-abuse_ or _social impurity_. make your children your confidants early in life, especially in these things, have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless, debased son. * * * * * { } exciting the passions in children. . conversation before children.--the conduct and conversation of adults before children and youth, how often have i blushed with shame, and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and especially of mothers, to their children: "john, go and kiss harriet, for she is your sweet-heart." well may shame make him hesitate and hang his head. "why, john, i did not think you so great a coward. afraid of the girls, are you? that will never do. come, go along, and hug and kiss her. there, that's a man. i guess you will love the girls yet." continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till he really selects a sweet-heart. . the loss of maiden purity and natural delicacy.--i will not lift the veil, nor expose the conduct of children among themselves. and all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities which surfeit their own. what could more effectually wear off that natural delicacy, that maiden purity and bashfulness, which form the main barriers against the influx of vitiated amativeness? how often do those whose modesty has been worn smooth, even take pleasure in thus saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and innocence, merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion upon them; little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the barriers of their virtue, and prematurely kindling the fires of animal passion! . balls, parties and amusements.--the entire machinery of balls and parties, of dances and other amusements of young people, tend to excite and inflame this passion. thinking it a fine thing to get in love, they court and form attachments long before either their mental or physical powers are matured. of course, these young loves, these green-house exotics, must be broken off, and their miserable subjects left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion, which, if left alone, would have slumbered on for years, till they were prepared for its proper management and exercise. . sowing the seeds for future ruin.--nor is it merely the conversation of adults that does all this mischief; their manners also increase it. young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen years old, kiss them, press them, and play with them so as, in a great variety of ways, to excite their innocent passions, combined, i grant, with friendship and refinement--for all this is genteely done. they { } intend no harm, and parents dream of none: and yet their embryo love is awakened, to be again still more easily excited. maiden ladies, and even married women, often express similar feelings towards lads, not perhaps positively improper in themselves, yet injurious in their ultimate effects. . reading novels.--how often have i seen girls not twelve years old, as hungry for a story or novel as they should be for their dinners! a sickly sentimentalism is thus formed, and their minds are sullied with impure desires. every fashionable young lady must of course read every new novel, though nearly all of them contain exceptionable allusions, perhaps delicately covered over with a thin gauze of fashionable refinement; yet, on that very account, the more objectionable. if this work contained one improper allusion to their ten, many of those fastidious ladies who now eagerly devour the vulgarities of dumas, and the double-entendres of bulwer, and even converse with gentlemen about their contents, would discountenance or condemn it as improper. _shame on novel-reading women_; for they cannot have pure minds or unsullied feelings but cupid and the beaux, and waking of dreams of love, are fast consuming their health and virtue. . theater-going.--theaters and theatrical dancing, also inflame the passions, and are "the wide gate" of "the broad road" of moral impurity. fashionable music is another, especially the verses set to it, being mostly love-sick ditties, or sentimental odes, breathing this tender passion in its most melting and bewitching strains. improper prints often do immense injury in this respect, as do also balls, parties, annuals, newspaper articles, exceptional works, etc. . the conclusion of the whole matter.--stop for one moment and think for yourself and you will be convinced that the sentiment herein announced is for your good and the benefit of all mankind. [illustration] { } puberty, virility and hygienic laws. [illustration] . what is puberty?--the definition is explained in another portion of this book, but it should be understood that it is not a prompt or immediate change; it is a slow extending growth and may extend for many years. the ripening of physical powers do not take place when the first signs of puberty appear. . proper age.--the proper age for puberty should vary from twelve to eighteen years. as a general rule, in the more vigorous and the more addicted to athletic exercise or out-door life, this change is slower in making its approach. . hygienic attention.--youths at this period should receive special private attention. they should be taught the purpose of the sexual organs and the proper hygienic laws that govern them, and they should also be taught to rise in the morning and not to lie in bed after waking up, because it is largely owing to this habit that the secret vice is contracted. one of the common causes of premature excitement in many boys is a tight foreskin. it may cause much evil and ought always to be remedied. ill-fitting garments often cause much irritation in children and produce unnatural passions. it is best to have boys sleep in separate beds and not have them sleep together if it can be avoided. { } . proper influence.--every boy and girl should be carefully trained to look with disgust on everything that is indecent in word or action. let them be taught a sense of shame in doing shameful things, and teach them that modesty is honorable, and that immodesty is indecent and dishonorable. careful training at the proper age may save many a boy or girl from ruin. . sexual passions.--the sexual passions may be a fire from heaven, or a subtle flame from hell. it depends upon the government and proper control. the noblest and most unselfish emotions take their arise in the passion of sex. its sweet influence, its elevating ties, its vibrations and harmony, all combine to make up the noble and courageous traits of man. . when passions begin.--it is thought by some that passions begin at the age of puberty, but the passions may be produced as early as five or ten years. all depends upon the training or the want of it. self-abuse is not an uncommon evil at the age of eight or ten. a company of bad boys often teach an innocent child that which will develop his ruin. a boy may feel a sense of pleasure at eight and produce a slight discharge, but not of semen. thus it is seen that parents may by neglect do their child the greatest injury. . false modesty.--let there be no false modesty on part of the parents. give the child the necessary advice and instructions as soon as necessary. . the man unsexed, by mutilation or masturbation. eunuchs are proverbial for their cruelty and crafty and unsympathizing dispositions. their mental powers are feeble and their physical strength is inferior. they lack courage and physical endurance. when a child is operated upon before the age of puberty, the voice retains its childish treble, the limbs their soft and rounded outlines, and the neck acquires a feminine fulness; no beard makes its appearance. in ancient times and up to this time in oriental nations eunuchs are found. they are generally slaves who have suffered mutilation at a tender age. it is a scientific fact that where boys have been taught the practice of masturbation in their early years, say from eight to fourteen years of age, if they survive at all they often have their powers reduced to a similar condition of a eunuch. they generally however suffer a greater disadvantage. their health will be more or less injured. in the eunuch the power of sexual intercourse is not entirely lost but of course there is sterility and little if any satisfaction, and the same thing may be true of the victim of self-abuse. { } . signs of virility.--as the young man develops in strength and years the sexual appetite will manifest itself. the secretion of the male known as the seed or semen depends for the life-transmitting power upon little minute bodies called spermatozoa. these are very active and numerous in a healthy secretion, being many hundreds in a single drop and a single one of them is capable to bring about conception in a female. dr. napheys in his "transmission of life," says: "the secreted fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero for four days, yet when it was thawed these animalcules, as they are supposed to be, were as active as ever. they are not, however, always present, and when present may be of variable activity. in young men, just past puberty, and in aged men, they are often scarce and languid in motion." at the proper age the secretion is supposed to be the most active, generally at the age of twenty-five, and decreases as age increases. . hygienic rule.--the man at mid-life should guard carefully his passions and the husband his virile powers, and as the years progress, steadily wean himself more from his desire, for his passions will become weaker with age and any excitement in middle life may soon debilitate and destroy his virile powers. . follies of youth.--dr. napheys says: "not many men can fritter away a decade or two of years in dissipation and excess, and ever hope to make up their losses by rigid surveillance in later years." "the sins of youth are expiated in age," is a proverb which daily examples illustrate. in proportion as puberty is precocious, will decadence be premature; the excesses of middle life draw heavily on the fortune of later years. "the mill of the gods grinds slow, but it grinds exceedingly fine," and though nature may be a tardy creditor, she is found at last to be an inexorable one. * * * * * { } our secret sins. . passions.--every healthful man has sexual desires, and he might as well refuse to satisfy his hunger as to deny their existence. the creator has given us various appetites, intended they should be indulged, and has provided the means. . reason.--while it is true that a healthy man has strongly developed sexual passions, yet, god has crowned man with reason, and with a proper exercise of this wonderful faculty of the human mind no lascivious thoughts need to control the passions. a pure heart will develop pure thoughts and bring out a good life. . rioting in visions.--dr. lewis says: "rioting in visions of nude women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse. there are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned female, but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are not busy with her person. this species of indulgence is well-nigh universal; and it is the source of all other forms--the fountain from which the external vices spring, and the nursery of masturbation." . committing adultery in the heart.--a young man who allows his mind to dwell upon the vision of nude women will soon become a victim of ruinous passion, and either fall under the influence of lewd women or resort to self-abuse. the man who has no control over his mind and allows impure thoughts to be associated with the name of every female that may be suggested to his mind, is but committing adultery in his heart, just as guilty at heart as though he had committed the deed. . unchastity.--so far as the record is preserved, unchastity has contributed above all other causes, more to the ruin and exhaustion and demoralization of the race than all other wickedness. and we shall not be likely to vanquish the monster, even in ourselves, unless we make the thoughts our point of attack. so long as they are sensual we are indulging in sexual abuse, and are almost sure, when temptation is presented, to commit the overt acts of sin. if we cannot succeed within, we may pray in vain for help to resist the tempter outwardly. a young man who will indulge in obscene language will be guilty of a worse deed if opportunity is offered. . bad dressing.--if women knew how much mischief they do men they would change some of their habits of { } dress. the dress of their busts, the padding in different parts, are so contrived as to call away attention from the soul and fix it on the bosom and hips. and then, many, even educated women, are careful to avoid serious subjects in our presence--one minute before a gentleman enters the room they may be engaged in thoughtful discussion, but the moment he appears their whole style changes; they assume light fascinating ways, laugh sweet little bits of laughs, and turn their heads this way and that, all which forbids serious thinking and gives men over to imagination. . the lustful eye.--how many men there are who lecherously stare at every woman in whose presence they happen to be. these monsters stare at women as though they were naked in a cage on exhibition. a man whose whole manner is full of animal passion is not worthy of the respect of refined women. they have no thoughts, no ideas, no sentiments, nothing to interest them but the bodies of women whom they behold. the moral character of young women has no significance or weight in their eyes. this kind of men are a curse to society and a danger to the community. no young lady is safe in their company. . rebuking sensualism.--if the young women would exercise an honorable independence and heap contempt upon the young men that allow their imagination to take such liberties, a different state of things would soon follow. men of that type of character should have no recognition in the presence of ladies. . early marriages.--there can be no doubt that early marriages are bad for both parties. for children of such a marriage always lack vitality. the ancient germans did not marry until the twenty-fourth or twenty-fifth year, previous to which they observed the most rigid chastity, and in consequence they acquired a size and strength that excited the astonishment of europe. the present incomparable vigor of that race, both physically and mentally, is due in a great measure to their long established aversion to marrying young. the results of too early marriages are in brief, stunted growth and impaired strength on the part of the male; delicate if not utterly bad health in the female; the premature old age or death of one or both, and a puny, sickly offspring. . signs of excesses.--dr. dio lewis says: "some of the most common effects of sexual excess are backache, lassitude, giddiness, dimness of sight, noises in the ears, numbness of the fingers, and paralysis. the drain is universal, but the more sensitive organs and tissues suffer { } most. so the nervous system gives way and continues the principal sufferer throughout. a large part of the premature loss of sight and hearing, dizziness, numbness and pricking in the hands and feet, and other kindred developments, are justly chargeable to unbridled venery. not unfrequently you see men whose head or back or nerve testifies of such reckless expenditure." . non-completed intercourse.--withdrawal before the emission occurs is injurious to both parties. the soiling of the conjugal bed by the shameful manoeuvres is to be deplored. . the extent of the practice.--one cannot tell to what extent this vice is practiced, except by observing its consequences, even among people who fear to commit the slightest sin, to such a degree is the public conscience perverted upon this point. still, many husbands know that nature often renders nugatory the most subtle calculations, and reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate. no matter; they persevere none the less, and by the force of habit they poison the most blissful moments of life, with no surety of averting the result that they fear. so who knows if the too often feeble and weakened infants are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete procreations, and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the natural act. . health of women.--furthermore, the moral relations existing between the married couple undergo unfortunate changes; this affection, founded upon reciprocal esteem, is little by little effaced by the repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed. if the good harmony of families and the reciprocal relations are seriously menaced by the invasion of these detestable practices, the health of women, as we have already intimated, is fearfully injured. . the practice of abortion.--then we have the practice of abortion reduced in modern times to a science, and almost to a distinct profession. a large part of the business is carried on by the means of medicines advertised in obscure but intelligible terms as embryo-destroyers or preventives of conception. every large city has its professional abortionist. many ordinary physicians destroy embryos to order, and the skill to do this terrible deed has even descended among the common people. . sexual exhaustion.--every sexual excitement is exhaustive in proportion to its intensity and continuance. if a man sits by the side of a woman, fondles and kisses her three or four hours, and allows his imagination to run riot with sexual visions, he will be five times as much exhausted { } as he would by the act culminating in emission. it is the sexual excitement more than the emission which exhausts. as shown in another part of this work, thoughts of sexual intimacies, long continued, lead to the worst effects. to a man, whose imagination is filled with erotic fancies the emission comes as a merciful interruption to the burning, harassing and wearing excitement which so constantly goads him. . the desire of good.--the desire of good for its own sake--this is love. the desire of good for bodily pleasure--this is lust. man is a moral being, and as such should always act in the animal sphere according to the spiritual law. hence, to break the law of the highest creative action for the mere gratification of animal instinct is to perform the act of sin and to produce the corruption of nature. . cause of prostitution.--dr. dio lewis says: "occasionally we meet a diseased female with excessive animal passion, but such a case is very rare. the average woman has so little sexual desire that if licentiousness depended upon her, uninfluenced by her desire to please man or secure his support, there would be very little sexual excess. man is strong--he has all the money and all the facilities for business and pleasure; and woman is not long in learning the road to his favor. many prostitutes who take no pleasure in their unclean intimacies not only endure a disgusting life for the favor and means thus gained, but affect intense passion in their sexual contacts because they have learned that such exhibitions gratify men." . husband's brutality.--husbands! it is your licentiousness that drives your wives to a deed so abhorrent to their every wifely, womanly and maternal instinct--a deed which ruins the health of their bodies, prostitutes their souls, and makes marriage, maternity and womanhood itself degrading and loathsome. no terms can sufficiently characterize the cruelty, meanness and disgusting selfishness of your conduct when you impose on them a maternity so detested as to drive them to the desperation of killing their unborn children and often themselves. . what drunkards bequeath to their offspring.--organic imperfections unfit the brain for sane action, and habit confirms the insane condition; the man's brain has become unsound. then comes in the law of hereditary descent, by which the brain of a man's children is fashioned after his own--not as it was originally, but as it has become, in consequence of frequent functional disturbance. hence, of all appetites, the inherited appetite for drunkenness is { } the most direful. natural laws contemplate no exceptions, and sins against them are never pardoned. . the reports of hospitals.--the reports of hospitals for lunatics almost universally assign intemperance as one of the causes which predispose a man's offspring to insanity. this is even more strikingly manifested in the case of congenital idiocy. they come generally from a class of families which seem to have degenerated physically to a low degree. they are puny and sickly. . secret diseases.--see the weakly, sickly and diseased children who are born only to suffer and die, all because of the private disease of the father before his marriage. oh, let the truth be told that the young men of our land may learn the lessons of purity of life. let them learn that in morality there is perfect protection and happiness. [illustration: getting a divorce] { } physical and moral degeneracy. [illustration: the degenerate turk.] . moral principle.--"edgar allen poe, lord byron, and robert burns," says dr. geo. f. hall, "were men of marvelous strength intellectually. but measured by the true rule of high moral principle, they were very weak. superior endowment in a single direction--physical, mental, or spiritual--is not of itself sufficient to make one strong in all that that heroic word means. . insane asylum.--many a good man spiritually has gone to an untimely grave because of impaired physical powers. many a good man spiritually has gone to the insane asylum because of bodily and mental weaknesses. many a good man spiritually has fallen from virtue in an evil moment because of a weakened will, or, a too demanding fleshly passion, or, worse than either, too lax views on the subject of personal chastity." . boys learning vices.--some ignorant and timid people argue that boys and young men in reading a work of this character will learn vices concerning which they had { } never so much as dreamed of before. this is, however, certain, that vices cannot be condemned unless they are mentioned; and if the condemnation is strong enough it surely will be a source of strength and of security. if light and education, on these important subjects, does injury, then all knowledge likewise must do more wrong than good. knowledge is power, and the only hope of the race is enlightenment on all subjects pertaining to their being. . moral manhood.--it is clearly visible that the american manhood is rotting down--decaying at the center. the present generation shows many men of a small body and weak principles, and men and women of this kind are becoming more and more prevalent. dissipation and indiscretions of all kind are working ruin. purity of life and temperate habits are being too generally disregarded. . young women.--the vast majority of graduates from the schools and colleges of our land to-day, and two-thirds of the membership of our churches, and three-fourths of the charitable workers, are females. everywhere girls are carrying off most of the prizes in competitive examinations, because women, as a sex, naturally maintain a better character, take better care of their bodies, and are less addicted to bad and injurious habits. while all this is true in reference to females, you will find that the male sex furnishes almost the entire number of criminals. the saloons, gambling dens, the brothels, and bad literature are drawing down all that the public schools can build up. seventy per cent. of the young men of this land do not darken the church door. they are not interested in moral improvement or moral education. eighty-five per cent. leave school under years of age; prefer the loafer's honors to the benefit of school. . promotion.--the world is full of good places for good young men, and all the positions of trust now occupied by the present generation will soon be filled by the competent young men of the coming generation; and he that keeps his record clean, lives a pure life, and avoids excesses or dissipations of all kinds, and fortifies his life with good habits, is the young man who will be heard from, and a thousand places will be open for his services. . personal purity.--dr. george f. hall says: "why not pay careful attention to man in all his elements of strength, physical, mental, and moral? why not make personal purity a fixed principle in the manhood of the present and coming generations, and thus insure the best men the world has ever seen? it can be done. let every reader of these lines resolve that he will be one to help do it." * * * * * { } immorality, disease and death. [illustration: charles dickens' chair and desk.] . the policy of silence.--there is no greater delusion than to suppose that vast number of boys know nothing about practices of sin. some parents are afraid that unclean thoughts may be suggested by these very defences. the danger is slight. such cases are barely possible, but when the untold thousands are thought of on the other side, who have been demoralized from childhood through ignorance, and who are to-day suffering the result of these vicious practices, the policy of silence stands condemned, and intelligent knowledge abundantly justified. the emphatic words of scripture are true in this respect also, "the people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." . living illustrations.--without fear of truthful contradiction we affirm that the homes, public assemblies, and streets of all our large cities abound to-day with living illustrations and proofs of the widespread existence of this physical and moral scourge. an enervated and stunted manhood, a badly developed physique, a marked absence of manly and womanly strength and beauty, are painfully common everywhere. boys and girls, young men and women, exist by thousands, of whom it may be said, they were badly born and ill-developed. many of these are, to some extent, bearing the penalty of the sins and excesses of their parents, especially their fathers, whilst the great majority are reaping the fruits of their own immorality in a dwarfed and ill-formed body, and effeminate appearance, weak and enervated mind. { } . effeminate and sickly young men.--the purposeless and aimless life of any number of effeminate and sickly young men, is to be distinctly attributed to these sins. the large class of mentally impotent "ne'er-do-wells" are being constantly recruited and added to by those who practice what the celebrated erichson calls "that hideous sin engendered by vice, and practiced in solitude"--the sin, be it observed, which is the common cause of physical and mental weakness, and of the fearfully impoverishing night-emissions, or as they are commonly called, "wet-dreams." . weakness, disease, deformity, and death.--through self-pollution and fornication the land is being corrupted with weakness, disease, deformity, and death. we regret to say that we cannot speak with confidence concerning the moral character of the jew; but we have people amongst us who have deservedly a high character for the tone of their moral life--we refer to the members of the society of friends. the average of life amongst these reaches no less than fifty-six years; and, whilst some allowance must be made for the fact that amongst the friends the poor have not a large representation, these figures show conclusively the soundness of this position, . sowing their wild oats.--it is monstrous to suppose that healthy children should die just as they are coming to manhood. the fact that thousands of young people do reach the age of sixteen or eighteen, and then decline and die, should arouse parents to ask the question: why? certainly it would not be difficult to tell the reason in thousands of instances, and yet the habit and practice of the deadly sin of self-pollution is actually ignored; it is even spoken of as a boyish folly not to be mentioned, and young men literally burning up with lust are mildly spoken of as "sowing their wild oats." thus the cemetery is being filled with masses of the youth of america who, as in egypt of old, fill up the graves of uncleanness and lust. some time since a prominent christian man was taking exception to my addressing men on this subject; observe this! one of his own sons was at that very time near the lunatic asylum through these disgusting sins. what folly and madness this is! . death to true manhood.--the question for each one is, "in what way are you going to divert the courses of the streams of energy which pertain to youthful vigor and manhood?" to be destitute of that which may be described as raw material in the human frame, means that no really vigorous manhood can have place; to burn up the juices of the system in the fires of lust is madness and wanton folly, { } but it can be done. to divert the currents of life and energy from blood and brain, from memory and muscle, in order to secrete it for the shambles of prostitution, is death to true manhood; but remember, it can be done! the generous liquid life may inspire the brain and blood with noble impulse and vital force, or it may be sinned away and drained out of the system until the jaded brain, the faded cheek, the enervated young manhood, the gray hair, narrow chest, weak voice, and the enfeebled mind show another victim in the long catalogue of the degraded through lust. . the sisterhood of shame and death.--whenever we pass the sisterhood of death, and hear the undertone of song, which is one of the harlot's methods of advertising, let us recall the words, that these represent the "pestilence which walketh in darkness, the destruction that wasteth at noonday." the allusion, of course, is to the fact that the great majority of these harlots are full of loathsome physical and moral disease; with the face and form of an angel, these women "bite like a serpent and sting like an adder;" their traffic is not for life, but inevitably for shame, disease, and death. betrayed and seduced themselves, they in their turn betray and curse others. . warning others.--have you never been struck with the argument of the apostle, who, warning others from the corrupt example of the fleshy esau, said, "lest there be any fornicator or profane person as esau, who for one mess of meat sold his own birthright. for ye know that even afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears." terrible and striking words are these. his birthright sold for a mess of meat. the fearful costs of sin--yes, that is the thought, particularly the sin of fornication! engrave that word upon your memories and hearts--"one mess of meat." . the harlot's mess of meat.--remember it, young men, when you are tempted to this sin. for a few minutes' sensual pleasure, for a mess of harlot's meat, young men are paying out the love of the son and brother; they are deceiving, lying, and cheating for a mess of meat; for a mess, not seldom of putrid flesh, men have paid down purity and prayer, manliness and godliness; for a mess of meat some perhaps have donned their best attire, and assumed the manners of the gentleman, and then, like an infernal hypocrite, dogged the steps of maiden or harlot to satisfy their degrading lust; for a mess of meat young men have deceived father and mother, and shrunk from the embrace of { } love of the pure-minded sister. for the harlot's mess of meat some listening to me have spent scores of hours of invaluable time. they have wearied the body, diseased and demoralized the mind. the pocket has been emptied, theft committed, lies unnumbered told, to play the part of the harlot's mate--perchance a six-foot fool, dragged into the filth and mire of the harlot's house. you called her your friend, when, but for her mess of meat, you would have passed her like dirt in the street. . seeing life.--you consorted with her for your mutual shame and death, and then called it "seeing life." had your mother met you, you would have shrunk away like a craven cur. had your sister interviewed you, she had blushed to bear your name; or had she been seen by you in company with some other whoremaster, for similar commerce, you would have wished that she had been dead. now what think you of this "seeing life?" and it is for this that tens of thousands of strong men in our large cities are selling their birthright. . the devil's decoys.--some may be ready to affirm that physical and moral penalties do not appear to overtake all men; that many men known to be given to intemperance and sensuality are strong, well, and live to a good age. let us not make any mistake concerning these; they are exceptions to the rule; the appearance of health in them is but the grossness of sensuality. you have only carefully to look into the faces of these men to see that their countenances, eyes, and speech betray them. they are simply the devil's decoys. . grossness of sensuality.--the poor degraded harlot draws in the victims like a heavily charged lodestone; these men are found in large numbers throughout the entire community; they would make fine men were they not weighted with the grossness of sensuality; as it is, they frequent the race-course, the card-table, the drinking-saloon, the music-hall, and the low theaters, which abound in our cities and towns; the great majority of these are men of means and leisure. idleness is their curse, their opportunity for sin; you may know them as the loungers over refreshment-bars, as the retailers of the latest filthy joke, or as the vendors of some disgusting scandal; indeed, it is appalling the number of these lepers found both in our business and social circles. * * * * * { } poisonous literature and bad pictures. [illustration: palestine water carriers.] . obscene literature.--no other source contributes so much to sexual immorality as obscene literature. the mass of stories published in the great weeklies and the cheap novels are mischievous. when the devil determines to take charge of a young soul, he often employs a very ingenious method. he slyly hands a little novel filled with "voluptuous forms," "reclining on bosoms," "languishing eyes," etc. . moral forces.--the world is full of such literature. it is easily accessible, for it is cheap, and the young will procure it, and therefore become easy prey to its baneful influence and effects. it weakens the moral forces of the young, and they thereby fall an easy prey before the subtle schemes of the libertine. . bad books.--bad books play not a small part in the corruption of the youth. a bad book is as bad as an evil companion. in some respects it is even worse than a living teacher of vice, since it may cling to an individual at all times. it will follow him and poison his mind with the venom of evil. the influence of bad books in making bad boys and men is little appreciated. few are aware how much evil seed is being sown among the young everywhere through the medium of vile books. . sensational story books.--much of the evil literature which is sold in nickel and dime novels, and which constitutes the principal part of the contents of such papers as the "police gazette," the "police news," and a large proportion of the sensational story books which flood the land. you might better place a coal of fire or a live viper in your bosom, than allow yourself to read such a book. the thoughts that are implanted in the mind in youth will often stick there through life, in spite of all efforts to dislodge them. . papers and magazines.--many of the papers and magazines sold at our news stands, and eagerly sought after by young men and boys, are better suited for the parlors of a house of ill-fame than for the eyes of pure-minded youth. a newsdealer who will distribute such vile sheets ought to be dealt with as an educator in vice and crime, an agent of evil, and a recruiting officer of hell and perdition. . sentimental literature of low fiction.--sentimental literature, whether impure in its subject matter or not, has { } a direct tendency in the direction of impurity. the stimulation of the emotional nature, the instilling of sentimental ideas into the minds of the young, has a tendency to turn the thoughts into a channel which leads in the direction of the formation of vicious habits. . impressions left by reading questionable literature.--it is painful to see strong intelligent men and youths reading bad books, or feasting their eyes on filthy pictures, for the practice is sure to affect their personal purity. impressions will be left which cannot fail to breed a legion of impure thoughts, and in many instances criminal deeds. thousands of elevator boys, clerks, students, traveling men, and others, patronize the questionable literature counter to an alarming extent. . the nude in art.--for years there has been a great craze after the nude in art, and the realistic in literature. many art galleries abound in pictures and statuary which cannot fail to fan the fires of sensualism, unless the thoughts of the visitor are trained to the strictest purity. why should artists and sculptors persist in shocking the finer sensibilities of old and young of both sexes by crowding upon their view representations of naked human forms in attitudes of luxurious abandon? public taste may demand it. but let those who have the power endeavor to reform public taste. . widely diffused.--good men have ever lamented the pernicious influence of a depraved and perverted literature. but such literature has never been so systematically and widely diffused as at the present time. this is owing to two causes, its cheapness and the facility of conveyance. . inflame the passions.--a very large proportion of the works thus put in circulation are of the worst character, tending to corrupt the principles, to inflame the passions, to excite impure desire, and spread a blight over all the powers of the soul. brothels are recruited from this more than any other source. those who search the trunks of convicted criminals are almost sure to find in them one or more of these works; and few prisoners who can read at all fail to enumerate among the causes which led them into crime the unhealthy stimulus of this depraved and poisonous literature. [illustration] { } startling sins. [illustration] . nameless crimes.--the nameless crimes identified with the hushed-up sodomite cases; the revolting condition of the school of sodomy; the revelations of the divorce court concerning the condition of what is called national nobility, and upper classes, as well as the unclean spirit which attaches to "society papers," has revealed a condition which is perfectly disgusting. . unfaithfulness.--unfaithfulness amongst husbands and wives in the upper classes is common and adultery rife everywhere; mistresses are kept in all directions; thousands of these rich men have at least two, and not seldom three establishments. . a frightful increase.--facts which have come to light during the past ten years show a frightful increase in every form of licentiousness; the widely extended area over which whoredom and degrading lust have thrown the glamor of their fascinating toils is simply appalling. { } . moral carnage.--we speak against the fearful moral carnage; would to god that some unmistakable manifestation of the wrath of god should come in and put a stop to this huge seed-plot of national demoralization! we are reaping in this disgusting centre the harvest of corruption which has come from the toleration and encouragements given by the legislature, the police, and the magistrates to immorality, vice, and sin; the awful fact is, that we are in the midst of the foul and foetid harvest of lust. aided by some of the most exalted personages in the land, assisted by thousands of educated and wealthy whoremongers and adulterers, we are reaping also, in individual physical ugliness and deformity, that which has been sown; the puny, ill-formed and mentally weak youths and maidens, men and women, to be seen in large numbers in our principal towns and cities, represent the widespread nature of the curse which has, in a marked manner, impaired the physique, the morality, and the intelligence of the nation. . daily press.--the daily press has not had the moral courage to say one word; the quality of demoralizing novels such as have been produced from the impure brain and unclean imaginations; the subtle, clever, and fascinating undermining of the white-winged angel of purity by modern sophists, whose prurient and vicious volumes were written to throw a halo of charm and beauty about the brilliant courtesan and the splendid adulteress; the mixing up of lust and love; the making of corrupt passion to stand in the garb of a deep, lasting, and holy affection--these are some of the hideous seedlings which, hidden amid the glamor and fascination of the seeming "angel of light," have to so large an extent corrupted the morality of the country. . nightly exhibitions.--some of you know what the nightly exhibitions in these garlanded temples of whorish incentive are. there is the variety theatre, with its disgusting ballet dancing, and its shamelessly indecent photographs exhibited in every direction. what a clear gain to morality it would be if the accursed houses were burnt down, and forbidden by law ever to be re-built or re-opened; the whole scene is designed to act upon and stimulate the lusts and evil passions of corrupt men and women. . confidence and exposure.--i hear some of you say, cannot some influence be brought to bear upon this plague-spot? will the legislature or congress do nothing? is the law and moral right to continue to be trodden under foot? are the magistrates and the police powerless? the truth is the harlots and whoremongers are master of the situation; the moral sense of the legislators, the magistrates, and the { } police is so low that anything like confidence is at present out of the question. . the sisterhood of shame and death.--it is enough to make angels weep to see a great mass of america's wealthy and better-class sons full of zeal and on fire with interest in the surging hundreds of the sisterhood of shame and death. many of these men act as if they were--if they do not believe they are--dogs. no poor hunted dog in the streets was ever tracked by a yelping crowd of curs more than is the fresh girl or chance of a maid in the accursed streets of our large cities. price is no object, nor parentage, nor home; it is the truth to affirm that hundreds and thousands of well-dressed and educated men come in order to the gratification of their lusts, and to this end they frequent this whole district; they have reached this stage, they are being burned up in this fire of lust; men of whom god says, "having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease sin." . law makers.--now should any member of the legislature rise up and testify against this "earthly hell," and speak in defence of the moral manhood and womanhood of the nation, he would be greeted as a fanatic, and laughed down amid derisive cheers; such has been the experience again and again. therefore attack this great stronghold which for the past thirty years has warred and is warring against our social manhood and womanhood, and constantly undermining the moral life of the nation; against this citadel of licentiousness, this metropolitan centre of crime, and vice, and sin, direct your full blast of righteous and manly indignation. [illustration] . temples of lust.--here stand the foul and splendid temples of lust, intemperance, and passion, into whose vortex tens of thousands of our sons and daughters are constantly being drawn. let it be remembered that this whole area represents the most costly conditions, and proves beyond question that an enormous proportion of the wealthy manhood of the nation, and we as citizens sustain, partake, and share in this carnival of death. is it any wonder that the robust type of godly manhood which used to be found in the legislature, is sadly wanting now, or that the wretched caricatures of manhood which find form and place in such papers as "truth" and the "world" are accepted as representing "modern society?" . puritanic manhood.--it is a melancholy fact that by reason of uncleanness, we have almost lost regard for the type of puritanic manhood which in the past held aloft the standard of a chaste and holy life; such men in this day are spoken of as "too slow" as "weak-kneed," and { } "goody-goody" men. let me recall that word, the fast and indecently-dressed "things," the animals of easy virtue, the "respectable" courtesans that flirt, chaff, gamble, and waltz with well-known high-class licentious lepers--such is the ideal of womanhood which a large proportion of our large city society accepts, fawns upon, and favors. . shameful conditions.--perhaps one of the most inhuman and shameful conditions of modern fashionable society, both in england and america, is that which wealthy men and women who are married destroy their own children in the embryo stage of being, and become murderers thereby. this is done to prevent what should be one of our chief glories, viz., large and well-developed home and family life. * * * * * { } the prostitution of men. cause and remedy. . exposed youth.--generally even in the beginning of the period when sexual uneasiness begins to show itself in the boy, he is exposed in schools, institutes, and elsewhere to the temptations of secret vice, which is transmitted from youth to youth, like a contagious corruption, and which in thousands destroys the first germs of virility. countless numbers of boys are addicted to these vices for years. that they do not in the beginning of nascent puberty proceed to sexual intercourse with women, is generally due to youthful timidity, which dares not reveal its desire, or from want of experience for finding opportunities. the desire is there, for the heart is already corrupted. . boyhood timidity overcome.--too often a common boy's timidity is overcome by chance or by seduction, which is rarely lacking in great cities where prostitution is flourishing, and thus numbers of boys immediately after the transition period of youth, in accordance with the previous secret practice, accustom themselves to the association with prostitute women, and there young manhood and morals are soon lost forever. . marriage-bed resolutions.--most men of the educated classes enter the marriage-bed with the consciousness of leaving behind them a whole army of prostitutes or seduced women, in whose arms they cooled their passions and spent the vigor of their youth. but with such a past the married man does not at the same time leave behind him its influence on his inclinations. the habit of having a feminine being at his disposal for every rising appetite, and the desire for change inordinately indulged for years, generally make themselves felt again as soon as the honeymoon is over. marriage will not make a morally corrupt man all at once a good man and a model husband. . the injustice of man.--now, although many men are in a certain sense "not worthy to unloose the latchet of the shoes" of the commonest woman, much less to "unfasten her girdle," yet they make the most extravagant demands on the feminine sex. even the greatest debauchee, who has spent his vigor in the arms of a hundred courtesans, will cry out fraud and treachery if he does not receive his newly married bride as an untouched virgin. even the most dissolute husband will look on his wife as deserving of death if his daily infidelity is only once reciprocated. { } . unjust demands.--the greater the injustice a husband does to his wife, the less he is willing to submit to from her; the oftener he becomes unfaithful to her, the stricter he is in demanding faithfulness from her. we see that despotism nowhere denies its own nature: the more a despot deceives and abuses his people, the more submissiveness and faithfulness he demands of them. . suffering women.--who can be astonished at the many unhappy marriages, if he knows how unworthy most men are of their wives? their virtues they rarely can appreciate, and their vices they generally call out by their own. thousands of women suffer from the results of a mode of life of which they, having remained pure in their thought, have no conception whatever; and many an unsuspecting wife nurses her husband with tenderest care in sicknesses which are nothing more than the consequences of his amours with other women. . an inhuman criminal.--when at last, after long years of delusion and endurance, the scales drop from the eyes of the wife, and revenge or despair drives her into a hostile position towards her lord and master, she is an inhuman criminal, and the hue and cry against the fickleness of women and the falsity of their nature is endless. oh, the injustice of society and the injustice of cruel man. is there no relief for helpless women that are bound by the ties of marriage to men who are nothing but rotten corruption? . vulgar desire.--the habit of regarding the end and aim of woman only from the most vulgar side--not to respect in her the noble human being, but to see in her only the instrument of sensual desire--is carried so far among men that they will allow it to force into the background considerations among themselves, which they otherwise pretend to rank very high. [illustration] . the only remedy.--but when the feeling of women has once been driven to indignation with respect to the position which they occupy, it is to be hoped that they will compel men to be pure before marriage, and they will remain loyal after marriage. . worse than savages.--with all our civilization we are put to shame even by the savages. the savages know of no fastidiousness of the sexual instinct and of no brothels. we are, indeed, likewise savages, but in quite a different sense. proof of this is especially furnished by our youth. but that our students, and young men in general, usually pass through the school of corruption and drag the filth of the road which they have traversed before marriage along { } with them throughout life, is not their fault so much as the fault of prejudices and of our political and social conditions that prohibits a proper education, and the placing of the right kind of literature on these subjects into the hands of young people. . reason and remedy.--keep the youth pure by a thorough system of plain unrestricted training. the seeds of immorality are sown in youth, and the secret vice eats out their young manhood often before the age of puberty. they develop a bad character as they grow older. young girls are ruined, and licentiousness and prostitution flourish. keep the boys pure and the harlot would soon lose her vocation. elevate the morals of the boys, and you will have pure men and moral husbands. * * * * * { } the road to shame. [illustration: suicide lake.] . insult to mother or sister.--young men, it can never under any circumstances be right for you to do to a woman that, which, if another man did to your mother or sister, you could never forgive! the very thought is revolting. let us suppose a man guilty of this shameful sin, and i apprehend that each of us would feel ready to shoot the villain. we are not justifying the shooting, but appealing to your instinctive sense of right, in order to show the enormity of this fearful crime, and to fasten strong conviction in your mind against this sin. { } . a ruined sister.--what would you think of a man, no matter what his wealth, culture, or gentlemanly bearing, who should lay himself out for the seduction and shame of your beloved sister? her very name now reminds you of the purest affection: think of her, if you can bear it, ruined in character, and soon to become an unhappy mother. to whom can you introduce her? what can you say concerning her? how can her own brothers and sisters associate with her? and, mark! all this personal and relative misery caused by this genteel villain's degrading passion. . young man lost.--another terrible result of this sin is the practical overthrow of natural affection which it effects. a young man comes from his father's house to chicago. either through his own lust or through the corrupt companions that he finds in the house of business where he resides, he becomes the companion of lewd women. the immediate result is a bad conscience, a sense of shame, and a breach in the affections of home. letters are less frequent, careless, and brief. he cannot manifest true love now. he begins to shrink from his sister and mother, and well he may. . the harlot's influence.--he has spent the strength of his affection and love for home. in their stead the wretched harlot has filled him with unholy lust. his brain and heart refuse to yield him the love of the son and brother. his hand can not write as aforetime, or at best, his expressions become a hypocritical pretence. fallen into the degradation of the fornicator, he has changed a mother's love and sister's affection for the cursed fellowship of the woman "whose house is the way to hell." (prov. vii. .) . the way of death.--observe, that directly the law of god is broken, and wherever promiscuous intercourse between the sexes takes place, gonorrhoea, syphilis, and every other form of venereal disease is seen in hideous variety. it is only true to say that thousands of both sexes are slain annually by these horrible diseases. what must be the moral enormity of a sin, which, when committed, produces in vast numbers of cases such frightful physical and moral destruction as that which is here portrayed? . a harlot's woes.--would to god that something might be done to rescue fallen women from their low estate. we speak of them as "fallen women". fallen, indeed, they are, but surely not more deserving of the application of that term than the "fallen men" who are their partners and paramours. it is easy to use the words, "a fallen woman", but who can apprehend all that is involved in the { } expression, seeing that every purpose for which god created woman is prostituted and destroyed? she is now neither maiden, wife, nor mother; the sweet names of sister and betrothed can have no legitimate application in her case. . the penalties for lost virtue.--can the harlot be welcomed where either children, brothers, sisters, wife, or husband are found? surely, no. home is a sphere alien to the harlot's estate. see such an one wherever you may--she is a fallen outcast from woman's high estate. her existence--for she does not live--now culminates in one dread issue, viz., prostitution. she sleeps, but awakes a harlot. she rises in the late morning hours, but her object is prostitution; she washes, dresses, and braids her hair, but it is with one foul purpose before her. to this end she eats, drinks, and is clothed. to this end her house is hidden and the blinds are drawn. . lost forever.--to this end she applies the unnatural cosmetique, and covers herself with sweet perfumes, which vainly try to hide her disease and shame. to this end she decks herself with dashing finery and tawdry trappings, and with bold, unwomanly mien essays the streets of the great city. to this end she is loud and coarse and impudent. to this end she is the prostituted "lady," with simpering words, and smiles, and glamour of refined deceit. to this end an angel face, a devil in disguise. there is one foul and ghastly purpose towards which all her energies now tend. so low has she fallen, so lost is she to all the design of woman, that she exists for one foul purpose only, viz., to excite, stimulate, and gratify the lusts of degraded, ungodly men. verily, the word "prostitute" has an awful meaning. what plummet can sound the depths of a woman's fall who has become a harlot? . sound the alarm.--remember, young man, you can never rise above the degradation of the companionship of lewd women. your virtue once lost is lost forever. remember, young woman, your wealth or riches is your good name and good character--you have nothing else. give a man your virtue and he will forsake you, and you will be forsaken by all the world. remember that purity of purpose brings nobility of character, and an honorable life is the joy and security of mankind. * * * * * { } the curse of manhood. [illustration: the great philanthropist.] . moral lepers.--we cannot but denounce in the strongest terms, the profligacy of many married men. not content with the moderation permitted in the divine appointed relationship of marriage, they become adulterers, in order to gratify their accursed lust. the man in them is trodden down by the sensual beast which reigns supreme. these are the moral outlaws that make light of this scandalous social iniquity, and by their damnable example encourage young men to sin. . a sad condition.--it is constantly affirmed by prostitutes, that amongst married men are found their chief supporters. evidence from such a quarter must be received with considerable caution. nevertheless, we believe that there is much truth in this statement. here, again, we lay { } the ax to the root of the tree; the married man who dares affirm that there is a particle of physical necessity for this sin, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. whether these men be princes, peers, legislators, professional men, mechanics, or workmen, they are moral pests, a scandal to the social state, and a curse to the nation. . excesses.--many married men exhaust themselves by these excesses; they become irritable, liable to cold, to rheumatic affections, and nervous depression. they find themselves weary when they rise in the morning. unfitted for close application to business, they become dilatory and careless, often lapsing into entire lack of energy, and not seldom into the love of intoxicating stimulants. numbers of husbands and wives entering upon these experiences lose the charm of health, the cheerfulness of life and converse. home duties become irksome to the wife; the brightness, vivacity, and bloom natural to her earlier years, decline; she is spoken of as highly nervous, poorly, and weak, when the whole truth is that she is suffering from physical exhaustion which she cannot bear. her features become angular, her hair prematurely gray, she rapidly settles down into the nervous invalid, constantly needing medical aid, and, if possible, change of air. . ignorance.--these conditions are brought about in many cases through ignorance on the part of those who are married. multitudes of men have neither read, heard, nor known the truth of this question. we sympathize with our fellow-men in this, that we have been left in practical ignorance concerning the exceeding value and legitimate uses of these functions of our being. some know, that, had they known these things in the early days of their married life, it would have proved to them knowledge of exceeding value. if this counsel is followed, thousands of homes will scarcely know the need of the physician's presence. . animal passion.--common-sense teaches that children who are begotten in the heat of animal passion, are likely to be licentious when they grow up. many parents through excesses of eating and drinking, become inflamed with wine and strong drink., they are sensualists, and consequently, morally diseased. now, if in such conditions men beget their children, who can affect surprise if they develop licentious tendencies? are not such parents largely to blame? are they not criminals in a high degree? have they not fouled their own nest, and transmitted to their children predisposition to moral evil? . fast young men.--many of our "fast young men" have been thus corrupted, even as the children of the { } intemperate are proved to have been. certainly no one can deny that many of our "well-bred" young men are little better than "high-class dogs" so lawless are they, and ready for the arena of licentiousness. . the pure-minded wife.--happily, as tens of thousands of husbands can testify, the pure-minded wife and mother is not carried away, as men are liable to be, with the force of animal passion. were it not so, the tendencies to licentiousness in many sons would be stronger than they are. in the vast majority of cases suggestion is never made except by the husband, and it is a matter of deepest gratitude and consideration, that the true wife may become a real helpmeet in restraining this desire in the husband. . young wife and children.--we often hear it stated that a young wife has her children quickly. this cannot happen to the majority of women without injury to health and jeopardy to life. the law which rendered it imperative for the land to lie fallow in order to rest and gain renewed strength, is only another illustration of the unity which pervades physical conditions everywhere. it should be known that if a mother nurses her own babe, and the child is not weaned until it is nine or ten months old, the mother, except in rare cases, will not become enceinte again, though cohabitation with the husband takes place. . selfish and unnatural conduct.--it is natural and rational that a mother should feed her own children; in the selfish and unnatural conduct of many mothers, who, to avoid the self-denial and patience which are required, hand the little one over to the wet-nurse, or to be brought up by hand, is found in many cases the cause and reason of the unnatural haste of child-bearing. mothers need to be taught that the laws of nature cannot be broken without penalty. for every woman whose health has been weakened through nursing her child, a hundred have lost strength and health through marital excesses. the haste of having children is the costly penalty which women pay for shirking the mother's duty to the child. . law of god.--so graciously has the law of god been arranged in regard to the mother's strength, that, if it be obeyed, there will be, as a rule, an interval of at least from eighteen months to two years between the birth of one child and that of another. every married man should abstain during certain natural seasons. in this periodical recurrence god has instituted to every husband the law of restraint, and insisted upon self-control. . to young people who are married.--be exceedingly careful of license and excess in your intercourse with { } one another. do not needlessly expose, by undress, the body. let not the purity of love degenerate into unholy lust. see to it that you walk according to the divine word, "dwelling together as being heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." . lost powers.--many young men after their union showed a marked difference. they lost much of their natural vivacity, energy, and strength of voice. their powers of application, as business men, students, and ministers, had declined, as also their enterprise, fervor, and kindliness. they had become irritable, dull, pale, and complaining. many cases of rheumatic fever have been induced through impoverishment, caused by excesses on the part of young married men. . middle age.--after middle age the sap of a man's life declines in quantity. a man who intends close application to the ministry, to scientific or literary pursuits, where great demands are made upon the brain, must restrain this passion. the supplies for the brain and nervous system are absorbed, and the seed diverted through sexual excesses in the marriage relationship, by fornication, or by any other form of immorality, the man's power must decline: that to this very cause may be attributed the failure and breakdown of so many men of middle age. . intoxicating drinks.--by all means avoid intoxicating drinks. immorality and alcoholic stimulants, as we have shown, are intimately related to one another. wine and strong drink inflame the blood, and heat the passions. attacking the brain, they warp the judgment, and weaken the power of restraint. avoid what is called good living; it is madness to allow the pleasures of the table to corrupt and corrode the human body. we are not designed for gourmands, much less for educated pigs. cold water bathing, water as a beverage, simple and wholesome food, regularity of sleep, plenty of exercise; games such as cricket, football, tennis, boating, or bicycling, are among the best possible preventives against lust and animal passion. . beware of idleness.--indolent leisure means an unoccupied mind. when young men lounge along the streets, in this condition they become an easy prey to the sisterhood of shame and death. bear in mind that evil thoughts precede evil actions. the hand of the worst thief will not steal until the thief within operates upon the hand without. the members of the body which are capable of becoming instruments of sin, are not involuntary actors. lustful desires must proceed from brain and heart, ere the fire that consumes burns in the member. * * * * * { } a private talk to young men. [illustration: young lincoln starting to school.] . the most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest dishonor, abuse and corruption. what a snare the wonderful organism of the eye may become when used to read corrupt books or look upon licentious scenes at the theatre, or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! what an instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain, the hand, the ear, the mouth, or the tongue! what potent instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole being for time and eternity! . in like manner the organ concerning the uses of which i am to speak, has been, and continues to be, made one of the chief instruments of man's immorality, shame, disease, and death. how important to know what the legitimate uses of this member of the body are, and how great the { } dignity conferred upon us in the possession of this gift. on the human side this gift may be truly said to bring men nearer to the high and solemn relationship of the creator than any other which they possess. . i first deal with the destructive sin of self-abuse. there can be little doubt that vast numbers of boys are guilty of this practice. in many cases the degrading habit has been taught by others, e.g., by elder boys at school, where association largely results in mutual corruption. with others, the means of sensual gratification is found out by personal action; whilst in other cases fallen and depraved men have not hesitated to debauch the minds of mere children by teaching them this debasing practice. . thousands of youths and young men have only to use the looking-glass to see the portrait of one guilty of this loathsome sin. the effects are plainly discernible in the boy's appearance. the face and hands become pale and bloodless. the eye is destitute of its natural fire and lustre. the flesh is soft and flabby, the muscles limp and lacking healthy firmness. in cases where the habit has become confirmed, and where the system has been drained of this vital force, it is seen in positive ugliness, in a pale and cadaverous appearance, slovenly gait, slouching walk, and an impaired memory. . it is obvious that if the most vital physical force of a boy's life is being spent through this degrading habit--a habit, be it observed, of rapid growth, great strength, and difficult to break--he must develop badly. in thousands of cases the result is seen in a low stature, contracted chest, weak lungs, and liability to sore throat. tendency to cold, indigestion, depression, drowsiness, and idleness, are results distinctly traceable to this deadly practice. pallor of countenance, nervous and rheumatic affections, loss of memory, epilepsy, paralysis, and insanity find their principal predisposing cause in the same shameful waste of life. the want of moral force and strength of mind often observable is youths and young men is largely induced by this destructive and deadly sin. . large numbers of youths pass from an exhausted boyhood into the weakness, intermittent fevers, and consumption, which are said to carry off so many. if the deaths were attributed primarily to loss of strength occasioned by self-pollution, it would be much nearer the truth. it is monstrous to suppose that a boy who comes from healthy parents should decline and die. without a shade of doubt the chief cause of decay and death amongst youths and young men, is to be traced to this baneful habit. { } . it is a well-known fact that any man who desires to excel and retain his excellence as an accurate shot, an oarsman, a pedestrian, a pugilist, a first-class cricketer, bicyclist, student, artist, or literary man, must abstain from self-pollution and fornication. thousands of school boys and students lose their positions in the class, and are plucked at the time of their examination by reason of failure of memory, through lack of nerve and vital force, caused mainly by draining the physical frame of the seed which is the vigor of the life. . it is only true to say that thousands of young men in the early stages of a licentious career would rather lose a right hand than have their mothers or sisters know what manner of men they are. from the side of the mothers and sisters it may also be affirmed that, were they aware of the real character of those brothers and sons, they would wish that they had never been born. . let it be remembered that sexual desire is not in itself dishonorable or sinful, any more than hunger, thirst, or any other lawful and natural desire is. it is the gratification by unlawful means of this appetite which renders it so corrupting and iniquitous. . leisure means the opportunity to commit sin. unclean pictures are sought after and feasted upon, paragraphs relating to cases of divorce and seduction are eagerly read, papers and books of an immoral character and tendency greedily devoured, low and disgusting conversation indulged in and repeated. . the practical and manly counsel to every youth and young man is, entire abstinence from indulgence of the sexual faculty until such time as the marriage relationship is entered upon. neither is there, nor can there be, any exception to this rule. . no man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him. on the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing. beware of the deceitful streams of temporary gratification, whose eddying current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death. remember, how quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment. . be a young man of principle, honor, and preserve your powers. how can you look an innocent girl in the face when you are degrading your manhood with the vilest practice? keep your mind and life pure, and nobility will be your crown. * * * * * { } remedies for the social evil. . man responsible.--every great social reform must begin with the male sex. they must either lead, or give it its support. prostitution is a sin wholly of their own making. all the misery, all the lust, as well as all the blighting consequences, are chargeable wholly to the uncontrolled sexual passion of the male. to reform sinful women, _reform the men_. teach them that the physiological truth means permanent moral, physical and mental benefit, while seductive indulgence blights and ruins. . contagious diseases.--a man or woman cannot long live an impure life without sooner or later contracting disease which brings to every sufferer not only moral degradation, but often serious and vital injuries and many times death itself becomes the only relief. . should it be regulated by law?--dr. g. j. ziegler, of philadelphia, in several medical articles says that the act of sexual connection should be made in itself the solemnization of marriage, and that when any such single act can be proven against an unmarried man, by an unmarried woman, the latter be at once invested with all the legal privileges of a wife. by bestowing this power on women very few men would risk the dangers of the society of a dissolute and scheming woman who might exercise the right to force him to a marriage and ruin his reputation and life. the strongest objection of this would be that it would increase the temptation to destroy the purity of married women, for they could be approached without danger of being forced into another marriage. but this objection could easily be harmonized with a good system of well regulated laws. many means have been tried to mitigate the social evils, but with little encouragement. in the city of paris a system of registration has been inaugurated and houses of prostitution are under the supervision of the police, yet prostitution has not been in any degree diminished. similar methods have been tried in other european towns, but without satisfactory results. . moral influence.--let it be an imperative to every clergyman, to every educator, to every statesman and to every philanthropist, to every father and to every mother, to impart that moral influence which may guide and direct the youth of the land into the natural channels of morality, chastity and health. then, and not till then, shall we see righteous laws and rightly enforced for the mitigation and extermination of the modern house of prostitution. * * * * * { } the selfish slaves of doses of disease and death. [illustration: a turkish cigarette girl.] . most devilish intoxication.--what is the most devilish, subtle alluring, unconquerable, hopeless and deadly form of intoxication, with which science struggles and to which it often succumbs; which eludes the restrictive grasp of legislation; lurks behind lace curtains, hides in luxurious boudoirs, haunts the solitude of the study, and with waxen { } face, furtive eyes and palsied step totters to the secret recesses of its self-indulgence? it is the drunkenness of drugs, and woe be unto him that crosseth the threshold of its dream-curtained portal, for though gifted with the strength of samson, the courage of richard and the genius of archimedes, he shall never return, and of him it is written that forever he leaves hope behind. . the material satan.--the material satan in this sensuous syndicate of soul and body-destroying drugs is opium, and next in order of hellish potency come cocaine and chloral. . gum opium.--gum opium, from which the sulphate of morphine is made, is the dried juice of the poppy, and is obtained principally in the orient. taken in moderate doses it acts specially upon the nervous system, deadens sensibility, and the mind becomes inactive. when used habitually and excessively it becomes a tonic, which stimulates the whole nervous system, producing intense mental exaltation and delusive visions. when the effects wear off, proportionate lassitude follows, which begets an insatiate and insane craving for the drug. under the repeated strain of the continually increasing doses, which have to be taken to renew the desired effect, the nervous system finally becomes exhausted, and mind and body are utterly and hopelessly wrecked. . cocaine.--cocaine is extracted from the leaves of the peruvian cocoa tree, and exerts a decided influence upon the nervous system, somewhat akin to that of coffee. it increases the heart action and is said to be such an exhilarant that the natives of the andes are enabled to make extraordinary forced marches by chewing the leaves containing it. its after effects are more depressing even than those of opium, and insanity more frequently results from its use. . chloral.--the name which is derived from the first two syllables of chlorine and alcohol, is made by passing dry chlorine gas in a continuous stream through absolute alcohol for six or eight weeks. it is a hypnotic or sleep-producing drug, and in moderate doses acts on the caliber of the blood vessels of the brain, producing a soothing effect, especially in cases of passive congestion. some patent medicines contain chloral, bromide and hyoscymus, and they have a large sale, being bought by persons of wealth, who do not know what they are composed of and recklessly take them for the effect they produce. . victims rapidly increasing.--"from my experience," said a leading and conservative druggist, "i infer that the { } number of what are termed opium, cocaine, and chloral "fiends" is rapidly increasing, and is greater by two or three hundred per cent than a year ago, with twice as many women as men represented. i should say that one person out of every fifty is a victim of this frightful habit, which claims its doomed votaries from the extremes of social life, those who have the most and the least to live for, the upper classes and the cyprian, professional men of the finest intelligence, fifty per cent of whom are doctors and walk into the pit with eyes wide open. and lawyers and other professional men must be added to this fated vice." . destroys the moral fiber.--"it is a habit which utterly destroys the moral fiber of its slaves, and makes unmitigated liars and thieves and forgers of them, and even murder might be added to the list of crimes, were no other road left open to the gratification of its insatiate and insane appetite. i do not know of a single case in which it has been mastered, but i do know of many where the end has been unspeakable misery, disgrace, suffering, insanity and death." . shameful death.--to particularize further would be profitless so far as the beginners are concerned, but would to heaven that those not within the shadow of this shameful death would take warning from those who are. there are no social or periodical drunkards in this sort of intoxication. the vice is not only solitary, unsocial and utterly selfish, but incessant and increasing in its demands. . appetite stronger than for liquor.--this appetite is far stronger and more uncontrollable than that for liquor, and we can spot its victim as readily as though he were an ordinary bummer. he has a pallid complexion, a shifting, shuffling manner and can't look you in the face. if you manage to catch his eye for an instant you will observe that its pupil is contracted to an almost invisible point. it is no exaggeration to say that he would barter his very soul for that which indulgence has made him too poor to purchase, and where artifice fails he will grovel in abject agony of supplication for a few grains. at the same time he resorts to all kinds of miserable and transparent shifts, to conceal his degradation. he never buys for himself, but always for some fictitious person, and often resorts to purchasing from distant points. . opium smoking.--"opium smoking," said another representative druggist, "is almost entirely confined to the chinese and they seem to thrive on it. very few others hit the pipe that we know of." { } . malt and alcoholic drunkenness.--alcoholic stimulants have a record of woe second to nothing. its victims are annually marching to drunkards' graves by the thousands. drunkards may be divided into three classes: first, the accidental or social drunkard; second, the periodical or spasmodic drunkard; and third, the sot. . the accidental or social drunkard is yet on safe ground. he has not acquired the dangerous craving for liquor. it is only on special occasions that he yields to excessive indulgence; sometimes in meeting a friend, or at some political blow-out. on extreme occasions he will indulge until he becomes a helpless victim, and usually as he grows older occasions will increase, and step by step he will be lead nearer to the precipice of ruin. . the periodical or spasmodic drunkard, with whom it is always the unexpected which occurs, and who at intervals exacts from his accumulated capital the usury of as prolonged a spree as his nerves and stomach will stand. science is inclined to charitably label this specimen of man a sort of a physiologic puzzle, to be as much pitied as blamed. given the benefit of every doubt, when he starts off on one of his hilarious tangents, he becomes a howling nuisance; if he has a family, keeps them continually on the ragged edge of apprehension, and is unanimously pronounced a "holy terror" by his friends. his life and future is an uncertainty. he is unreliable and cannot be long trusted. total reformation is the only hope, but it rarely is accomplished. . the sot.--a blunt term that needs no defining, for even the children comprehend the hopeless degradation it implies. laws to restrain and punish him are framed; societies to protect and reform him are organized, and mostly in vain. he is prone in life's very gutter; bloated, reeking and polluted with the doggery's slops and filth. he can fall but a few feet lower, and not until he stumbles into an unmarked, unhonored grave, where kind mother earth and the merciful mantle of oblivion will cover and conceal the awful wreck he made of god's own image. to the casual observer, the large majority of the community, these three phases, at whose vagaries many laugh, and over whose consequences millions mourn, comprehend intoxication and its results, from the filling of the cup to its shattering fall from the nerveless hand, and this is the end of the matter. would to god that it were! for at that it would be bad enough. but it is not, for wife, children and friends must suffer and drink the cup of trouble and sorrow to its dregs. * * * * * { } object lessons of the effects of alcohol and cigarette smoking. by prof. george henkle, who personally made the postmortem examinations and drew the following illustrations from the diseased organs just as they appeared when first taken from the bodies of the unfortunate victims. [illustration: the stomach of an habitual drinker of alcoholic stimulants, showing the ulcerated condition of the mucous membrane, incapacitating this important organ for digestive functions.] [illustration: the stomach (interior view) of a healthy person with the first section of the small intestines.] { } [illustration: the liver of a drunkard who died of cirrhosis of the liver, also called granular liver, or "gin drinker's liver." the organ is much shrunken and presents rough, uneven edges, with carbuncular non-suppurative sores. in this self-inflicted disease the tissues of the liver undergo a cicatrical retraction which strangulates and partly destroys the parenchyma of the liver.] [illustration: the liver in health.] { } [illustration: the kidney of a man who died a drunkard, showing in upper portion the sores so often found on kidneys of hard drinkers, and in the lower portion, the obstruction formed in the internal arrangement of this organ. alcohol is a great enemy to the kidneys, and after this poison has once set in on its destructive course in these organs no remedial agents are known to exist to stop the already established disease.] [illustration: the kidney in health, with the lower section removed, to show the filtering apparatus (malphigian pyramids). natural size.] { } [illustration: the lungs and heart of a boy who died from the effects of cigarette smoking, showing the nicotine sediments in lungs and shrunken condition of the heart.] [illustration: the lungs and heart in health.] [illustration: a section of the diseased lung of a cigarette smoker, highly magnified.] the destructive effects of cigarette smoking. [illustration: _illustrating the shrunken condition of one of the lungs of an excessive smoker_] { } cigarettes have been analyzed, and the most physicians and chemists were surprised to find how much opium is put into them. a tobacconist himself says that "the extent to which drugs are used in cigarettes is appalling." "havana flavoring" for this same purpose is sold everywhere by the thousand barrels. this flavoring is made from the tonka-bean, which contains a deadly poison. the wrappers, warranted to be rice paper, are sometimes made of common paper, and sometimes of the filthy scrapings of ragpickers bleached white with arsenic. what a thing for human lungs. the habit burns up good health, good resolutions, good manners, good memories, good faculties, and often honesty and truthfulness as well. cases of epilepsy, insanity and death are frequently reported as the result of smoking cigarettes, while such physicians as dr. lewis sayre, dr. hammond, and sir morell mackenzie of england, name heart trouble, blindness, cancer and other diseases as occasioned by it. leading physicians of america unanimously condemn { } cigarette smoking as "one of the vilest and most destructive evils that ever befell the youth of any country," declaring that "its direct tendency is a deterioration of the race." look at the pale, wilted complexion of a boy who indulges in excessive cigarette smoking. it takes no physician to diagnose his case, and death will surely mark for his own every boy and young man who will follow up the habit. it is no longer a matter of guess. it is a scientific fact which the microscope in every case verifies. * * * * * { } the dangerous vices. [illustration: innocent youth.] few persons are aware of the extent to which masturbation or self-pollution is practiced by the young of both sexes in civilized society. symptoms. the hollow, sunken eye, the blanched cheek, the withered hands, and emaciated frame, and the listless life, have other sources than the ordinary illnesses of all large communities. when a child, after having given proofs of memory and intelligence, experiences daily more and more difficulty in retaining and understanding what is taught him, it is not only from unwillingness and idleness, as is commonly supposed, but from a disease eating out life itself, brought on by a self-abuse of the private organs. besides the slow and progressive derangement of his or her health, the diminished energy of application, the languid movement, the stooping gait, the desertion of social games, the solitary walk, late rising, livid and sunken eye, and many other symptoms, will fix the attention of every intelligent and competent guardian of youth that something is wrong. { } married people. nor are many persons sufficiently aware of the ruinous extent to which the amative propensity is indulged by married persons. the matrimonial ceremony does, indeed, sanctify the act of sexual intercourse, but it can by no means atone for nor obviate the consequences of its abuse. excessive indulgence in the married relation is, perhaps, as much owing to the force of habit, as to the force of the sexual appetite. [illustration: guard well the cradle. education cannot begin too young.] extreme youth. more lamentable still is the effect of inordinate sexual excitement of the young and unmarried. it is not very uncommon to find a confirmed onanist, or, rather, masturbator, who has not yet arrived at the period of puberty. many cases are related in which young boys and girls, from eight to ten years of age, were taught the method of self-pollution by their older playmates, and had made serious encroachments on the fund of constitutional vitality even before any considerable degree of sexual appetite was developed. force of habit. here, again, the fault was not in the power of passion, but in the force of habit. parents and guardians of youth can not be too mindful of the character and habits of those with whom they allow young persons and children under their charge to associate intimately, and especially careful should they be with whom they allow them to sleep. sin of ignorance. it is customary to designate self-pollution as among the "vices." i think misfortune is the more appropriate term. it is true, that in the physiological sense, it is one of the very worst "transgressions of the law." but in the moral sense it is generally the sin of ignorance in the commencement, and in the end the passive submission to a morbid and almost resistless impulse. quacks. the time has come when the rising generation must be thoroughly instructed in this matter. that quack specific "ignorance" has been experimented with quite too long already. the true method of insuring all persons, young or old, against the abuses of any part, organ, function, or faculty of the wondrous machinery of life, is to teach them its use. "train a child in the way it should go" or be sure it { } will, amid the ten thousand surrounding temptations, find out a way in which it should not go. keeping a child in ignorant innocence is, i aver, no part of the "training" which has been taught by a wiser than solomon. boys and girls do know, will know, and must know, that between them are important anatomical differences and interesting physiological relations. teach them, i repeat, their use, or expect their abuse. hardly a young person in the world would ever become addicted to self-pollution if he or she understood clearly the consequences; if he or she knew at the outset that the practice was directly destroying the bodily stamina, vitiating the moral tone, and enfeebling the intellect. no one would pursue the disgusting habit if he or she was fully aware that it was blasting all prospects of health and happiness in the approaching period of manhood and womanhood. general symptoms of the secret habit. the effects of either self-pollution or excessive sexual indulgence, appear in many forms. it would seem as if god had written an instinctive law of remonstrance, in the innate moral sense, against this filthy vice. all who give themselves up to the excesses of this debasing indulgence, carry about with them, continually, a consciousness of their defilement, and cherish a secret suspicion that others look upon them as debased beings. they feel none of that manly confidence and gallant spirit, and chaste delight in the presence of virtuous females, which stimulate young men to pursue the course of ennobling refinement, and mature them for the social relations and enjoyments of life. this shamefacedness, or unhappy quailing of the countenance, on meeting the look of others, often follows them through life, in some instances even after they have entirely abandoned the habit, and became married men and respectable members of society. in some cases, the only complaint the patient will make on consulting you, is that he is suffering under a kind of continued fever. he will probably present a hot, dry skin, with something of a hectic appearance. though all the ordinary means of arresting such symptoms have been tried, he is none the better. the sleep seems to be irregular and unrefreshing--restlessness during the early part of the night, and in the advanced stages of the disease, profuse sweats before morning. there is also frequent starting in the sleep, from { } disturbing dreams. the characteristic feature is, that your patient almost always dreams of sexual intercourse. this is one of the earliest, as well as most constant symptoms. when it occurs most frequently, it is apt to be accompanied with pain. a gleety discharge from the urethra may also be frequently discovered, especially if the patient examine when at stool or after urinating. other common symptoms are nervous headache, giddiness, ringing in the ears, and a dull pain in the back part of the head. it is frequently the case that the patient suffers a stiffness in the neck, darting pains in the forehead, and also weak eyes are among the common symptoms. one very frequent, and perhaps early symptom (especially in young females) is solitariness--a disposition to seclude themselves from society. although they may be tolerably cheerful when in company, they prefer rather to be alone. the countenance has often a gloomy and worn-down expression. the patient's friends frequently notice a great change. large livid spots under the eyes is a common feature. sudden flashes of heat may be noticed passing over the patient's face. he is liable also to palpitations. the pulse is very variable, generally too slow. extreme emaciation, without any other assignable cause for it, may be set down as another very common symptom. if the evil has gone on for several years, there will be a general unhealthy appearance, of a character so marked as to enable an experienced observer at once to detect the cause. in the case of onanists especially there is a peculiar rank odor emitted from the body, by which they may be readily distinguished. one striking peculiarity of all these patients is, that they cannot look a man in the face! cowardice is constitutional with them. * * * * * home treatment of the secret habit. . the first condition of recovery is a prompt and permanent abandonment of the ruinous habit. without a faithful adherence to this prohibitory law on the part of the patient all medication on the part of the physician will assuredly fail. the patient must plainly understand that future prospects, character, health, and life itself, depend on an unfaltering resistance to the morbid solicitation; with the assurance, however, that a due perseverance will eventually render what now seems like a resistless and overwhelming { } propensity, not only controllable but perfectly loathsome and undesirable. . keep the mind employed by interesting the patient in the various topics of the day, and social features of the community. . plenty of bodily out of door exercise, hoeing in the garden, walking, or working on the farm; of course not too heavy work must be indulged in. . if the patient is weak and very much emaciated, cod liver oil is an excellent remedy. . diet. the patient should live principally on brown bread, oat meal, graham crackers, wheat meal, cracked or boiled wheat, or hominy, and food of that character. no meats should be indulged in whatever; milk diet if used by the patient is an excellent remedy. plenty of fruit should be indulged in; dried toast and baked apples make an excellent supper. the patient should eat early in the evening, never late at night. . avoid all tea, coffee, or alcoholic stimulants of any kind. . "early to bed and early to rise," should be the motto of every victim of this vice. a patient should take a cold bath every morning after rising. a cold water injection in moderate quantities before retiring has cured many patients. . if the above remedies are not sufficient, a family physician should be consulted. . never let children sleep together, if possible, to avoid it. discourage the children of neighbors and friends from sleeping with your children. . have your children rise early. it is the lying in bed in the morning that plays the mischief. [illustration: (l) healthy semen, greatly magnified. (r) the semen of a victim of masturbation.] { } nocturnal emissions involuntary emissions of semen during amorous dreams at night is not at all uncommon among healthy men. when this occurs from one to three or four times a month, no anxiety or concern need be felt. when the emissions take place without dreams, manifested only by stained spots in the morning on the linen, or take place at stool and are entirely beyond control, then the patient should at once seek for remedies or consult a competent physician. when blood stains are produced, then medical aid must be sought at once. home treatment for nocturnal emissions. sleep in a hard bed, and rise early and take a sponge bath in cold water every morning. eat light suppers and refrain from eating late in the evening. empty the bladder thoroughly before retiring, bathe the spine and hips with a sponge dipped in cold water. _never sleep lying on the back._ avoid all highly seasoned food and read good books, and keep the mind well employed. take regular and vigorous outdoor exercise every day. [illustration: healthy testicle.] [illustration: a testicle wasted by masturbation.] avoid all coffee, tea, wine, beer and all alcoholic liquors. don't use tobacco, and keep the bowels free. prescription.--ask your druggist to put you up a good iron tonic and take it regularly according to his directions. beware of advertising quacks. beware of these advertising schemes that advertise a speedy cure for "loss of youth," "lost vitality," "a cure for impotency," "renewing of old age," etc. do not allow these circulating pamphlets and circulars to concern you the least. if you have a few _nocturnal emissions_, remember it is only a mark of vitality and health, and not a sign of a deathly disease, as many of these advertising quacks would lead you to believe. use your private organs only for what your creator intended they should be used, and there will be no occasion for you to be frightened by the deception of quacks. { } [illustration: the two paths: what will the boy become?] { } lost manhood restored. . resolute desistence.--the first step towards the restoration of lost manhood is a resolute desistence from these terrible sins. each time the temptation is overcome, the power to resist becomes stronger, and the fierce fire declines. each time the sin is committed, its hateful power strengthens, and the fire of lust is increased. remember, that you cannot commit these sins, and maintain health and strength. . avoid being alone.--avoid being alone when the temptation comes upon you to commit self-abuse. change your thoughts at once; "keep the heart diligently, for out of it are the issues of life." . avoid evil companions.--avoid evil companions, lewd conversation, bad pictures, corrupt and vicious novels, books, and papers. abstain from all intoxicating drinks. these inflame the blood, excite the passions, and stimulate sensuality; weakening the power of the brain, they always impair the power of self-restraint. smoking is very undesirable. keep away from the moral pesthouses. remember that these houses are the great resort of fallen and depraved men and women. the music, singing, and dancing are simply a blind to cover the intemperance and lust, which hold high carnival in these guilded hells. this, be it remembered, is equally true of the great majority of the theatres. . avoid strong tea, or coffee.--take freely of cocoa, milk, and bread and milk, or oatmeal porridge. meats, such as beef and mutton, use moderately. we would strongly recommend to young men of full habit, vegetarian diet. fruits in their season, partake liberally; also fresh vegetables. brown bread and toast, as also rice, and similar puddings, are always suitable. avoid rich pastry and new bread. . three meals a day are abundant.--avoid suppers, and be careful, if troubled with nightly emissions, not to take any liquid, not even water, after seven o'clock in the evening, at latest. this will diminish the secretions of the body, when asleep, and the consequent emissions, which in the early hours or the morning usually follow the taking of any kind of drink. do not be anxious or troubled by an occasional emission, say, for example, once a fortnight. . rest on a hard mattress.--keep the body cool when asleep; heat arising from a load of bed-clothes is most { } undesirable. turn down the counterpane, and let the air have free course through the blankets. . relieve the system.--as much as possible relieve the system of urine before going to sleep. on rising, bathe if practicable. if you cannot bear cold water, take the least possible chill off the water (cold water, however, is best). if bathing is not practicable, wash the body with cold water, and keep scrupulously clean. the reaction caused by cold water, is most desirable. rub the body dry with a rough towel. drink a good draught of cold water. . exercise.--get fifteen minutes' brisk walk, if possible before breakfast. if any sense of faintness exists, eat a crust of bread, or biscuit. be regular in your meals, and do not fear to make a hearty breakfast. this lays a good foundation for the day. take daily good, but not violent exercise. walk until you can distinctly feel the tendency to perspiration. this will keep the pores of the skin open and in healthy condition. . medicines.--take the medicines, if used, regularly and carefully. bromide of potassium is a most valuable remedy in allaying lustful and heated passions and appetites. unless there is actual venereal disease, medicine should be very little resorted to. . avoid the streets at night.--beware of corrupt companions. fast young men and women should be shunned everywhere. cultivate a taste for good reading and evening studies. home life with its gentle restraints, pure friendships, and healthful discipline, should be highly valued. there is no liberty like that of a well-regulated home. to large numbers of young men in business houses, home life is impracticable. . be of good cheer and courage.--recovery will be gradual, and not sudden; vital force is developed slowly from within. the object aimed at by medicine and counsel is to aid and increase nervous and physical vigor, and give tone to the demoralized system. do not pay the slightest heed to the exaggerated statements of the wretched quack doctors, who advertise everywhere. avoid them as you would a pestilence. their great object is, through exciting your fears, to get you into their clutches, in order to oppress you with heavy and unjust payments. be careful, not to indulge in fancies, or morbid thoughts and feelings. be hopeful, and play the part of a man determined to overcome. * * * * * { } manhood wrecked and rescued. . the noblest functions of manhood.--the noblest functions of manhood are brought into action in the office of the parent. it is here that man assumes the prerogative of a god and becomes a creator. how essential that every function of his physical system should be perfect, and every faculty of his mind free from that which would degrade; yet how many drag their purity through the filth of masturbation, revel in the orgies of the debauchee, and worship at the shrine of the prostitute, until, like a tree blighted by the livid lightning, they stand with all their outward form of men, but without life. . threshold of honor.--think of a man like that; in whom the passions and vices have burned themselves out, putting on the airs of a saint and claiming to have reformed! aye, reformed, when there is no longer sweetness in the indulgence of lust. think of such loathsome bestiality, dragging its slimy body across the threshold of honor and nobility and asking a pure woman, with the love-light of heaven in her eyes, to pass her days with him; to accept him as her lord; to be satisfied with the burnt-out, shriveled forces of manhood left; to sacrifice her purity that he may be redeemed, and to respect in a husband what she would despise in the brute. . stop.--if you are, then, on the highway to this state of degradation, stop. if already you have sounded the depths of lost manhood, then turn, and from the fountain of life regain your power, before you perpetrate the terrible crime of marriage, thus wrecking a woman's life and perhaps bringing into the world children who will live only to suffer and curse the day on which they were born and the father who begat them. . sexual impotency.--sexual impotency means sexual starvation, and drives many wives to ruin, while a similar lack among wives drives husbands to libertinism. nothing so enhances the happiness of married couples as this full, life-abounding, sexual vigor in the husband, thoroughly reciprocated by the wife, yet completely controlled by both. . two classes of sufferers.--there are two classes of sufferers. first, those who have only practiced self-abuse and are suffering from emissions. second, those who by overindulgence in marital relations, or by dissipation with women, have ruined their forces. . the remedy.--for self-abuse: when the young man has practiced self-abuse for some time, he finds, upon { } quitting the habit, that he has nightly emissions. he becomes alarmed, reads every sensational advertisement in the papers, and at once comes to the conclusion that he must take something. _drugs are not necessary._ . stop the cause.--the one thing needful, above all others, is to stop the cause. i have found that young men are invariably mistaken as to what is the cause. when asked as to the first cause of their trouble, they invariably say it was self-abuse, etc., but it is not. _it is the thought._ this precedes the handling, and, like every other cause, must be removed in order to have right results. . stop the thought.--but remember, _stop the thought_! you must not look after every woman with lustful thoughts, nor go courting girls who will allow you to hug, caress and kiss them, thus rousing your passions almost to a climax. do not keep the company of those whose only conversation is of a lewd and depraved character, but keep the company of those ladies who awaken your higher sentiments and nobler impulses, who appeal to the intellect and rouse your aspiration, in whose presence you would no more feel your passions aroused than in the presence of your own mother. . you will get well.--remember you will get well. don't fear. fear destroys strength and therefore increases the trouble. many get downhearted, discouraged, despairing--the very worst thing that can happen, doing as much harm, and in many cases more, than their former dissipation. brooding kills; hope enlivens. then sing with joy that the savior of knowledge has vanquished the death-dealing ignorance of the past; that the glorious strength of manhood has awakened and cast from you forever the grinning skeleton of vice. be your better self, proud that your thoughts in the day-time are as pure as you could wish your dreams to be at night. . helps.--do not use tobacco or liquor. they inflame the passions and irritate the nervous system; they only gratify base appetites and never rouse the higher feelings. highly spiced food should be eschewed, not chewed. meat should be eaten sparingly, and never at the last meal. . don't eat too much.--if not engaged in hard physical labor, try eating two meals a day. never neglect the calls of nature, and if possible have a passage from the bowels every night before retiring. when this is not done the feces often drop into the rectum during sleep, producing heat which extends to the sexual organs, causing the lascivious dreams and emission. this will be noticed especially in the morning, when the feces usually distend { } the rectum and the person nearly always awakes with sexual passions aroused. if necessary, use injections into the rectum of from one to two quarts of water, blood heat, two or three times a week. be sure to keep clean and see to it that no matter collects under the foreskin. wash off the organ every night and take a quick, cold hand-bath every morning. have something to do. never be idle. idleness always worships at the shrine of passion. . the worst time of all.--many are ruined by allowing their thoughts to run riot in the morning. owing to the passions being roused as stated above, the young man lies half awake and half dozing, rousing his passions and reveling in lascivious thought for hours perhaps, thus completely sapping the fountains of purity, establishing habits of vice that will bind him with iron bands, and doing his physical system more injury than if he had practiced self-abuse, and had the emission in a few minutes. jump out of bed at once on waking, and never allow the thought to master you. . a hand bath.--a hand bath in cold water every morning will diminish those rampant sexual cravings, that crazy, burning, lustful desire so sensualizing to men by millions; lessen prostitution by toning down that passion which alone patronizes it, and relieve wives by the millions of those excessive conjugal demands which ruin their sexual health; besides souring their tempers, and then demanding millions of money for resultant doctor bills. . will get well.--feel no more concern about your self. say to yourself, "i shall and will get well under this treatment," as you certainly will. pluck is half the battle. mind acts and reads directly on the sexual organs. determining to get well gets you well; whilst all fear that you will become worse makes you worse. all worrying over your case as if it were hopeless, all moody and despondent feelings, tear the life right out of these organs whilst hopefulness puts new life into them. [illustration] { } the curse and consequence of secret diseases. [illustration: innocent childhood.] . the sins of the fathers are visited on the children.--if persons who contract secret diseases were the only sufferers, there would be less pity and less concern manifested by the public and medical profession. . there are many secret diseases which leave an hereditary taint, and innocent children and grandchildren are compelled to suffer as well as those who committed the immoral act. . gonorrhoea (clap) is liable to leave the parts sensitive and irritable, and the miseries of spermatorrhoea, impotence, chronic rheumatism, stricture and other serious ailments may follow. . syphilis (pox).--statistics prove that over per cent. of the children born alive perish within the first year. outside of this frightful mortality, how many children are born, inheriting eruptions of the skin, foul ulcerations, { } swelling of the bones, weak eyes or blindness, scrofula, idiocy, stunted growth, and finally insanity, all on account of the father's early vices. the weaknesses and afflictions of parents are by natural laws visited upon their children. . the mother often takes the disease from her husband, and she becomes an innocent sufferer to the dreaded disease. however, some other name generally is applied to the disease, and with perfect confidence in her husband she suffers pain all her life, ignorant of the true cause. her children have diseases of the eyes, skin, glands and bones, and the doctor will apply the term scrofula, when the result is nothing more or less than inherited syphilis. let every man remember, the vengeance to a vital law knows only justice, not mercy, and a single moment of illicit pleasure will bring many curses upon him, and drain out the life of his innocent children, and bring a double burden of disease and sorrow to his wife. . if any man who has been once diseased is determined to marry, he should have his constitution tested thoroughly and see that every seed of the malady in the system has been destroyed. he should bathe daily in natural sulphur waters, as, for instance, the hot springs in arkansas, or the sulphur springs in florida, or those springs known as specific remedies for syphilic diseases. as long as the eruptions on the skin appear by bathing in sulphur water there is danger, and if the eruptions cease and do not appear, it is very fair evidence that the disease has left the system, yet it is not an infallible test. . how many bright and intelligent young men have met their doom and blighted the innocent lives of others, all on account of the secret follies and vices of men. . protection.--girls, you, who are too poor and too honest to disguise aught in your character, with your sweet soul shining through every act of your lives, beware of the men who smile upon you. study human nature, and try and select a virtuous companion. _transcriber's note: there is no . in the original._ . syphilitic poison ineradicable.--many of our best and ablest physicians assert that syphilitic poison, once infected, there can be no total disinfection during life; some of the virus remains in the system, though it may seem latent. boards of state charities in discussing the causes of the existence of whole classes of defectives hold to the opinion given above. the massachusetts board in its report has these strong words on the subject: "the worst is that, though years may have passed since its active stage, it permeates the very seed of life and { } causes strange affections or abnormalities in the offspring, or it tends to lessen their vital force, to disturb or to repress their growth, to lower their standard of mental and bodily vigor, and to render life puny and short. . a serpent's tooth.--"_the direct blood-poisoning, caused by the absorption into the system of the virus (syphilis) is more hideous and terrible in its effect than that of a serpent's tooth._ this may kill outright, and there's an end; but that, stingless and painless, slowly and surely permeates and vitiates the whole system of which it becomes part and parcel, like myriads of trichinæ, and can never be utterly cast out, even by salivation. "woe to the family and to the people in whose veins the poison courses! "it would seem that nothing could end the curse except utter extermination. that, however, would imply a purpose of eternal vengeance, involving the innocent with the guilty." this disease compared with small-pox is as an ulcer upon a finger to an ulcer in the vitals. small-pox does not vitiate the blood of a people; this disease does. its existence in a primary form implies moral turpitude. . cases cited.--many cases might be cited. we give but one. a man who had contracted the disease reformed his ways and was apparently cured. he married, and although living a moral life was compelled to witness in his little girl's eye-balls, her gums, and her breath the result of his past sins. no suffering, no expense, no effort would have been too great could he but be assured that his offspring might be freed from these results. . prevention better than cure.--here is a case where the old adage, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," may be aptly applied. our desire would be to herald to all young men in stentorian tones the advice, "avoid as a deadly enemy any approaches or probable pitfalls of the disease. let prevention be your motto and then you need not look for a cure." . help proffered.--realizing the sad fact that many are afflicted with this disease we would put forth our utmost powers to help even these, and hence give on the following pages some of the best methods of cure. how to cure gonorrhoea (clap). causes, impure connections, etc. symptoms.--as the disease first commences to manifest itself, the patient notices a slight itching at the point of the the { } male organ, which is shortly followed by a tingling or smarting sensation, especially on making water. this is on account of the inflammation, which now gradually extends backward, until the whole canal is involved. the orifice of the urethra is now noticed to be swollen and reddened, and on inspection a slight discharge will be found to be present. and if the penis is pressed between the finger and thumb, matter or pus exudes. as the inflammatory stage commences, the formation of pus is increased, which changes from a thin to a thick yellow color, accompanied by a severe scalding on making water. the inflammation increases up to the fifth day, often causing such pain, on urinating, that the patient is tortured severely. when the disease reaches its height, the erections become somewhat painful, when the discharge may be streaked with blood. home treatment. first, see that the bowels are loose--if not, a cathartic should be given. if the digestive powers are impaired, they should be corrected and the general health looked after. if the system is in a good condition, give internally five drops of gelseminum every two hours. the first thing to be thought of is to pluck the disease in its bud, which is best done by injections. the best of these are: tinct. hydrastis, one drachm; pure water, four ounces; to be used three times a day after urinating. zinc, sulphate, ten grains; pure water, eight ounces; to be used after urinating every morning and night. equal parts of red wine and pure water are often used, and are of high repute, as also one grain of permanganate of potash to four ounces of water. if the above remedies are ineffectual, a competent physician should be consulted. general treatment.--one of the best injections for a speedy cure is: hydrastis, oz. water, oz. mix and with a small syringe inject into the penis four or five times a day after urinating, until relieved, and diminish the number of injections as the disease disappears. no medicine per mouth need be given, unless the patient is in poor health. syphilis (pox). . this is the worst of all diseases except cancer--no tissue of the body escapes the ravages of this dreadful { } disease--bone, muscle, teeth, skin and every part of the body are destroyed by its deforming and corroding influence. . symptoms.--about eight days after the exposure a little redness and then a pimple, which soon becomes an open sore, makes its appearance, on or about the end of the penis in males or on the external or inner parts of the uterus of females. pimples and sores soon multiply, and after a time little hard lumps appear in the groin, which soon develop into a blue tumor called _bubo_. copper colored spots may appear in the face, hair fall out, etc. canker and ulcerations in the mouth and various parts of the body soon develop. . treatment.--secure the very best physician your means will allow without delay. . local treatment of buboes.--to prevent suppuration, treatment must be instituted as soon as they appear. compresses, wet in a solution composed of half an ounce of muriate of ammonia, three drachms of the fluid extract of belladonna, and a pint of water, are beneficial, and should be continuously applied. the tumor may be scattered by painting it once a day with tincture of iodine. . for eruptions.--the treatment of these should be mainly constitutional. perfect cleanliness should be observed, and the sulphur, spirit vapor, or alkaline bath freely used. good diet and the persistent use of alteratives will generally prove successful in removing this complication. recipe for syphilis.-- bin-iodide of mercury, gr. extract of licorice, gr. make into pills. take one morning and night. _lotion._-- bichloride of mercury, gr. lime water, pt. shake well, and wash affected parts night and morning. for eruptions on tongue.-- cyanide of silver, ½ gr. powdered iridis, gr. divide into parts. to be rubbed on tongue once a day. for eruptions in syphilis.--a per cent. ointment of carbolic acid in a good preparation. bubo. treatment.-- warm poultice of linseed meal, mercurial plaster, lead ointment. gleet (chronic clap). . symptoms.--when gonorrhoea is not cured at the end of twenty-one or twenty-eight days, at which time all { } discharge should have ceased, we have a condition known as chronic clap, which is nothing more or less than gleet. at this time most of the symptoms have abated, and the principal one needing medical attention is the discharge, which is generally thin, and often only noticed in the morning on arising, when a scab will be noticed, glutinating the lips of the external orifice. or, on pressing with the thumb and finger from behind, forward, a thin, white discharge can be noticed. . home treatment.--the diet of patients affected with this disease is all-important, and should have careful attention. the things that should be avoided are highly spiced and stimulating foods and drinks, as all forms of alcohol, or those containing acids. indulgence in impure thoughts is often sufficient to keep a discharge, on account of the excitement it produces to the sensitive organs, thus inducing erections, which always do harm. . general treatment.--the best injection is: nitrate of silver, ¼ grain. pure water, oz. inject three or four times a day after urinating. stricture of the urethra. symptoms.--the patient experiences difficulty in voiding the urine, several ineffectual efforts being made before it will flow. the stream is diminished in size, of a flattened or spiral form, or divided in two or more parts, and does not flow with the usual force. treatment.--it is purely a surgical case and a competent surgeon must be consulted. phimosis. . cause.--is a morbid condition of the penis, in which the glans penis cannot be uncovered, either on account of a congenital smallness of the orifice of the foreskin, or it may be due to the acute stage of gonorrhoea, or caused by the presence of soft chancre. . symptoms.--it is hardly necessary to give a description of the symptoms occurring in this condition, for it will be easily diagnosed, and its appearances are so indicative that all that is necessary is to study into its cause and treat the disease with reference to that. treatment.--if caused from acute gonorrhoea, it should be treated first by hot fomentations, to subdue the swelling, when the glans penis can be uncovered. if the result of the formation of chancre under the skin, they should be treated by a surgeon, for it may result in the sloughing off of the end of the penis, unless properly treated. * * * * * { } animal magnetism. what it is and how to use it. [illustration: illustrating magnetic influences. animal magnetism is supposed to radiate from and encircle every human being.] . magnetism existing between the bodies of mankind.--it is rational to believe that there is a magnetism existing between the bodies of mankind, which may have either a beneficial or a damaging effect upon our health, according to the conditions which are produced, or the nature of the individuals who are brought in contact with each other. as an illustration of this point we might consider that, all nature is governed by the laws of attraction and repulsion, or in other words, by positive and negative forces. these subtle forces or laws in nature which we call attraction or { } repulsion, are governed by the affinity--or sameness--or the lack of affinity--or sameness--which exists between what may be termed the combination of atoms or molecules which goes to make up organic structure. . law of attraction.--where this affinity--or sameness--exists between the different things, there is what we term the law of attraction, or what may be termed the disposition to unite together. where there is no affinity existing between the nature of the different particles of matter, there is what may be termed the law of repulsion, which has a tendency to destroy the harmony which would otherwise take place. . magnetism of the mind.--now, what is true of the magnet and steel, is also true--from the sameness of their nature--of two bodies. and what is true of the body in this sense, is also true of the sameness or magnetism of the mind. hence, _by the laying on of hands_, or by the association of the minds of individuals, we reach the same result as when a combination is produced in any department of nature. where this sameness of affinity exists, there will be a blending of forces, which has a tendency to build up vitality. . a proof.--as a proof of this position, how often have you found the society of strangers to be so repulsive to your feelings, that you have no disposition to associate. others seem to bring with them a soothing influence that draws you closer to them. all these involuntary likes and dislikes are but the results of the _animal magnetism_ that we are constantly throwing off from our bodies,--although seemingly imperceptible to our internal senses.--the dog can scent his master, and determine the course which he pursues, no doubt from similar influences. . home harmony.--many of the infirmities that afflict humanity are largely due to a want of an understanding of its principles, and the right applications of the same. i believe that if this law of magnetism was more fully understood and acted upon, there would be a far greater harmony in the domestic circle; the health of parents and children might often be preserved where now sickness and discord so frequently prevail. . the law of magnetism.--when two bodies are brought into contact with each other, the weak must naturally draw from the strong until both have become equal. and as long as this equality exists there will be perfect harmony between individuals, because of the reciprocation which exists in their nature. { } . survival of the fittest.--but if one should gain the advantage of the other in magnetic attraction, the chances are that through the law of development, or what has been termed the "survival of the fittest"--the stronger will rob the weaker until one becomes robust and healthy, while the other grows weaker and weaker day by day. this frequently occurs with children sleeping together, also between husband and wife. . sleeping with invalids.--healthy, hearty, vigorous persons sleeping with a diseased person is always at a disadvantage. the consumptive patient will draw from the strong, until the consumptive person becomes the strong patient and the strong person will become the consumptive. there are many cases on record to prove this statement. a well person should never sleep with an invalid if he desires to keep his health unimpaired, for the weak will take from the strong, until the strong becomes the weak and the weak the strong. many a husband has died from a lingering disease which saved his wife from an early grave. he took the disease from his wife because he was the stronger, and she became better and he perished. . husband and wife.--it is not always wise that husband and wife should sleep together, nor that children--whose temperament does not harmonize--should be compelled to sleep in the same bed. by the same law it is wrong for the young to sleep with old persons. some have slept in the same bed with persons, when in the morning they have gotten up seemingly more tired than when they went to bed. at other times with different persons, they have lain awake two-thirds of the night in pleasant conversation and have gotten up in the morning without scarcely realizing that they had been to sleep at all, yet have felt perfectly rested and refreshed. . magnetic healing, or what has been known as the laying on of hands.--a nervous prostration is a negative condition beneath the natural, by the laying on of hands a person in a good, healthy condition is capable of communicating to the necessity of the weak. for the negative condition of the patient will as naturally draw from the strong, as the loadstone draws from the magnet, until both become equally charged. and as fevers are a positive condition of the system "beyond the natural," the normal condition of the healer will, by the laying on of the hands, absorb these positive atoms, until the fever of the patient becomes reduced or cured. as a proof of this the magnetic healer often finds himself or herself prostrated after treating the weak; and excited or feverish after treating a feverish patient. * * * * * { } how to read character. how to tell disposition and character by the nose. [illustration: well mated.] . large noses.--bonaparte chose large-nosed men for his generals, and the opinion prevails that large noses indicate long heads and strong minds. not that great noses cause great minds, but that the motive or powerful temperament cause both. . flat noses.--flat noses indicate flatness of mind and character, by indicating a poor, low organic structure. . broad noses.--broad noses indicate large passageways to the lungs, and this, large lungs and vital organs, and this, great strength of constitution, and hearty animal { } passions along with selfishness; for broad noses, broad shoulders, broad heads, and large animal organs go together. but when the nose is narrow at the base, the nostrils are small, because the lungs are small and need but small avenues for air; and this indicates a predisposition to consumptive complaints, along with an active brain and nervous system, and a passionate fondness for literary pursuits. . sharp noses.--sharp noses indicate a quick, clear, penetrating, searching, knowing, sagacious mind, and also a scold; indicate warmth of love, hate, generosity, moral sentiment--indeed, positiveness in everything. . blunt noses.--blunt noses indicate and accompany obtuse intellects and perceptions, sluggish feelings, and a soulless character. . roman noses.--the roman nose indicates a martial spirit, love of debate, resistance, and strong passions, while hollow, pug noses indicate a tame, easy, inert, sly character, and straight, finely-formed grecian noses harmonious characters. seek their acquaintance. disposition and character by stature. . tall persons.--tall persons have high heads, and are aspiring, aim high, and seek conspicuousness, while short ones have flat heads, and seek the lower forms of worldly pleasures. tall persons are rarely mean, though often grasping; but very penurious persons are often broad-built. . small persons.--small persons generally have exquisite mentalities, yet less power--the more precious the article, the smaller the package in which it is done up,--while great men are rarely dwarfs, though great size often co-exists with sluggishness. disposition and character by the walk. . awkward.--those whose motions are awkward yet easy, possess much efficiency and positiveness of character, yet lack polish; and just in proportion as they become refined in mind will their movements be correspondingly improved. a short and quick step indicates a brisk and active but rather contracted mind, whereas those who take long steps generally have long heads; yet if the step is slow, they will make comparatively little progress, while those whose step is long and quick will accomplish proportionately much, and pass most of their competitors on the highway of life. { } . a dragging step.--those who sluff or drag their heels, drag and drawl in everything; while those who walk with a springing, bouncing step, abound in mental snap and spring. those whose walk is mincing, affected, and artificial, rarely, if ever, accomplish much; whereas those who walk carelessly, that is, naturally, are just what they appear to be, and put on nothing for outside show. . the different modes of walking.--in short, every individual has his own peculiar mode of moving, which exactly accords with his mental character; so that, as far as you can see such modes, you can decipher such outlines of character. the disposition and character by laughing. . laughter expressive of character.--laughter is very expressive of character. those who laugh very heartily have much cordiality and whole-souledness of character, except that those who laugh heartily at trifles have much feeling, yet little sense. those whose giggles are rapid but light, have much intensity of feeling, yet lack power; whereas those who combine rapidity with force in laughing, combine them in character. . vulgar laugh.--vulgar persons always laugh vulgarly, and refined persons show refinement in their laugh. those who ha, ha right out, unreservedly, have no cunning, and are open-hearted in everything; while those who suppress laughter, and try to control their countenances in it, are more or less secretive. those who laugh with their mouths closed are non-committal; while those who throw it wide open are unguarded and unequivocal in character. . suppressed laughter.--those who, suppressing laughter for a while, burst forth volcano-like, have strong characteristics, but are well-governed, yet violent when they give way to their feelings. then there is the intellectual laugh, the love laugh, the horse laugh, the philoprogenitive laugh, the friendly laugh, and many other kinds of laugh, each indicative of corresponding mental developments. disposition and character by the mode of shaking hands. their expression of character.--thus, those who give a tame and loose hand, and shake lightly, have a cold, if not heartless and selfish disposition, rarely sacrificing much for others, are probably conservatives, and lack warmth and { } soul. but those who grasp firmly, and shake heartily, have a corresponding whole-souledness of character, are hospitable, and will sacrifice business to friends; while those who bow low when they shake hands, add deference to friendship, and are easily led, for good or bad, by friends. [illustration: an easy-going disposition.] the disposition and character by the mouth and eyes. . different forms of mouths.--every mouth differs from every other, and indicates a coincident character. large mouths express a corresponding quantity of mentality, while small ones indicate a lesser amount. a coarsely-formed mouth indicates power, while one finely-formed indicates exquisite susceptibilities. hence small, delicately formed mouths indicate only common minds, with very fine feelings and much perfection of character. . characteristics.--whenever the muscles about the mouth are distinct, the character is correspondingly positive, and the reverse. those who open their mouths wide and frequently, thereby evince an open soul, while closed { } mouths, unless to hide deformed teeth, are proportionately secretive. . eyes.--those who keep their eyes half shut are peek-a-boos and eaves-droppers. . expressions of the eye.--the mere expression of the eye conveys precise ideas of the existing and predominant states of the mentality and physiology. as long as the constitution remains unimpaired, the eye is clear and bright, but becomes languid and soulless in proportion as the brain has been enfeebled. wild, erratic persons have a half-crazed expression of eye, while calmness, benignancy, intelligence, purity, sweetness, love, lasciviousness, anger, and all the other mental affections, express themselves quite as distinctly by the eye as voice, or any other mode. . color of the eyes.--some inherit fineness from one parent, and coarseness from the other, while the color of the eye generally corresponds with that of the skin, and expresses character. light eyes indicate warmth of feeling, and dark eyes power. . garments.--those, who keep their coats buttoned up, fancy high-necked and closed dresses, etc., are equally non-communicative, but those who like open, free, flowing garments, are equally open-hearted and communicative. the disposition and character by the color of the hair. . different colors.--coarseness and fineness of texture in nature indicate coarse and fine-grained feelings and characters, and since black signifies power, and red ardor, therefore coarse black hair and skin signify great power of character of some kind, along with considerable tendency to the sensual; yet fine black hair and skin indicate strength of character, along with purity and goodness. . coarse hair.--coarse black hair and skin, and coarse red hair and whiskers, indicate powerful animal passions, together with corresponding strength of character; while fine or light, or auburn hair indicates quick susceptibilities, together with refinement and good taste. . fine hair.--fine dark or brown hair indicates the combination of exquisite susceptibilities with great strength of character, while auburn hair, with a florid countenance, indicates the highest order of sentiment and intensity of feeling, along with corresponding purity of character, combined with the highest capacities for enjoyment and suffering. { } . curly hair.--curly hair or beard indicates a crisp, excitable, and variable disposition, and much diversity of character--now blowing hot, now cold--along with intense love and hate, gushing, glowing emotions, brilliancy, and variety of talent. so look out for ringlets; they betoken april weather--treat them gently, lovingly, and you will have the brightest, clearest sunshine, and the sweetest, balmiest breezes. . straight hair.--straight, even, smooth, and glossy hair indicate strength, harmony, and evenness of character, and hearty, whole-souled affections, as well as a clear head and superior talents; while straight, stiff, black hair and beard indicate a coarse, strong, rigid, straight-forward character. . abundance of hair.--abundance of hair and beard signifies virility and a great amount of character; while a thin beard signifies sterility and a thinly settled upper story, with rooms to let, so that the beard is very significant of character. . fiery red hair indicates a quick and fiery disposition. persons with such hair generally have intense feelings--love and hate intensely--yet treat them kindly, and you have the warmest friends, but ruffle them, and you raise a hurricane on short notice. this is doubly true of auburn curls. it takes but little kindness, however, to produce a calm and render them as fair as a summer morning. red-headed people in general are not given to hold a grudge. they are generally of a very forgiving disposition. secretive dispositions. . a man that naturally wears his hat upon the top or back of the head is frank and outspoken; will easily confide and have many confidential friends, and is less liable to keep a secret. he will never do you any harm. . if a man wears his hat well down on the forehead, shading the eyes more or less, will always keep his own counsel. he will not confide a secret, and if criminally inclined will be a very dangerous character. . if a lady naturally inclines to high-necked dresses and collars, she will keep her secrets to herself if she has any. in courtship or love she is an uncertainty, as she will not reveal sentiments of her heart. the secretive girl, however, usually makes a good housekeeper and rarely gets mixed into neighborhood difficulties. as a wife she will not be the most affectionate, nor will she trouble her husband with many of her trials or difficulties. * * * * * { } dictionary of medical terms. _found in this and other works._ abdomen--the largest cavity of the body, containing the liver, stomach, intestines, etc. abnormal--unhealthy, unnatural. abortion--a premature birth, or miscarriage. abscess--a cavity containing pus. acetic--sour, acid. acidity--sourness. acrid--irritating, biting. acute--of short duration. adipose--fatty. albumen--an animal substance resembling white of egg. alimentary canal--the entire passage through which food passes; the whole intestines from mouth to anus. alterative--medicines which gradually restore healthy action. amenorrhoea--suppression of the menses. amorphous--irregular. an�mia--bloodlessness. an�sthetics--medicines depriving of sensation and suffering. anatomy--physical structure. anodyne--a remedy used for the relief of pain. ante-natal--before birth. anteversion--bending forward. antidote--a medicine counteracting poison. anti-emetic--that which will stop vomiting. antiseptic--that which will prevent putrefaction. anus--circular opening or outlet of the bowels. aorta--the great artery of the heart. aphtha--thrush; infant sore mouth. aqua--water. areola--circle around the nipple. astringent--binding; contracting. auricle--a cavity of the heart. axilla--the armpit. azote--nitrogen. bacteria--infusoria; microscopical insects. bicuspid--a two-pointed tooth. bile--secretion from the liver. { } bronchitis--inflammation of the bronchial tubes which lead into the lungs. calculus--a stone found in the bladder, gall-ducts and kidneys. callous--a hard bony substance or growth. capillaries--hair-like vessels that convey the blood from the arteries to the veins. carbonic acid--the gas which is expired from the lungs. cardiac--relating to the heart. catarrh--flow of mucus. cathartic--an active purgative. caustic--a corroding or destroying substance. cellular--composed of cells. cervix--neck. cervix uteri--neck of the womb. chronic--of long standing. clavicle--the collar bone. coccyx--terminal bone of the spine. condiment--that which gives relish to food. congestion--overfullness of blood vessels. contusion--a bruise. cuticle--the outer skin. dentition--act of cutting teeth. diagnosis--scientific determination of diseases. diarrhoea--looseness of the bowels. disinfectant--that which cleanses or purifies. diaphragm--breathing muscle between chest and abdomen. duodenum--the first part of the small intestines. dyspepsia--difficult digestion. dysuria--difficult or painful urination. emetic--medicines which produce vomiting. enamel--covering of the teeth. enema--an injection by the rectum. enteritis--inflammation of the intestines. epidemic--generally prevailing. epidermis--outer skin. epigastrium--region of the pit of the stomach. epilepsy--convulsions. eustachian tube--a tube leading from the side of the throat to the internal ear. evacuation--discharging by stool. excretion--that which is thrown off. expectorant--tending to produce free discharge from the lungs or throat. fallopian tubes--tubes from ovaries to uterus. { } f�ces--discharge from the bowels. foetus--the child in the womb after the fifth month. fibula--the smallest bone of the leg below the knee. fistula--an ulcer. flatulence--gas in the stomach or bowels. flooding--uterine hemorrhage. fluor albus--white flow; leucorrhoea; whites. flux--diarrhoea, or other excessive discharge. fomentation--warm or hot application to the body. friable--easily crumbled or broken. friction--rubbing with the dry hand or dry coarse cloth. fumigate--to smoke a room, or any article needing to be cleansed. function--the office or duty of any organ. fundament--the anus. fungus--spongy flesh in wounds; proud flesh. fusion--to melt by heat. gall--bile. gall-stones--hard biliary concretions found in the gall bladder. gangrene--the first stage of mortification. gargle--a liquid preparation for washing the throat. gastric--of the stomach. gastritis--inflammation of the stomach. gelatinous--like jelly. genitals--the sexual organs. genu--the knee. genus--family of plants; a group. germ--the vital principal, or life spark. gestation--period of growth of child in the womb. gleet--chronic gonorrhoea. glottis--the opening of the windpipe. gonorrhoea--an infectious discharge from the genital organs. gout--painful inflammation of the joints of the toes. gravel--crystalline sand-like particles in the urine. guttural--relating to the throat. hectic--a fever which occurs generally at night. hemorrhage--a discharge of blood. hemorrhoids--piles; tumors in the anus. hepatic--pertaining to the liver. hereditary--transmitted from parents. hernia--rupture which permits a part of the bowels to protrude. hygiene--preserving health by diet and other precautions. { } hyper�mia--excess of blood in any part. hysteritis--inflammation of the uterus. impregnation--the act of producing. incision--the cutting with instruments. incontinence--not being able to hold the natural secretions. influenza--a disease affecting the nostrils and throat. infusion--the liquor in which plants have been steeped, and their medicinal virtues extracted. inhalation--drawing in the breath. injection--any preparation introduced into the rectum or other cavity by syringe. inspiration--the act of drawing air into the lungs. insomnia--sleeplessness. involuntary--against the will. introversion--turned within. jaundice--a disease caused by the inactivity of the liver or ducts leading from it. jugular--belonging to the throat. kidneys--two organs which secrete the urine. labia--the lips of the vagina. laryngitis--inflammation of the throat. larynx--the upper part of the throat. lassitude--weakness; a feeling of stupor. laxative--remedy increasing action of the bowels. leucorrhoea--whites; fluor albis. livid--a dark colored spot on the surface. loin--lower part of the back. lotion--a preparation to wash a sore. lumbago--rheumatism of the loins. malaria--foul marsh air. malignant--a disease of a very serious character. malformation--irregular, unnatural formation. mastication--the act of chewing. masturbation--excitement, by the hand, of the genital organs. matrix--the womb. meconium--the first passage of babes after birth. membrane--a thin lining or covering. menopause--change of life. menstruation--monthly discharge of blood from the uterus. midwifery--art of assisting at childbirth. mucus--a fluid secreted or poured out by the mucous membrane, serving to protect it. narcotic--a medicine relieving pain and producing sleep. nephritis--inflammation of the kidneys. neuralgia--pain in nerves. { } normal--in a natural condition. nutritious--a substance which feeds the body. obesity--excess of fat or flesh. obstetrics--the science of midwifery. oculus--the eye. oesophagus--the tube leading from the throat to the stomach. optic nerve--the nerve which enters the back part of the eye. organic--having organs. os--mouth; used as mouth of womb. ostalgia--pain in the bone. otitis--inflammation of the ear. ovum--an egg. oxalic acid--an acid found in sorrel, very poisonous. palate--the roof of the mouth. palliative--to afford relief only. palpitation--unnatural beating of the heart. paralysis--loss of motion. parturition--childbirth. pathological--morbid, diseased. pelvis--the bony cavity at lower part of trunk. pericardium--sac containing the heart. perin�um--the floor of the pelvis, or space between and including the anus and vulva. peritonitis--inflammation of lining membrane of bowels. placenta--after-birth. pleura--membrane covering the lungs. pleurisy--inflammation of the pleura. pregnancy--being with child. prognosis--prediction of termination of a disease. prolapsus--falling; protrusion. prolapsus uteri--falling of the womb. prostration--without strength. pruritis--a skin trouble causing intense itching. puberty--full growth. pubes--external part of the organs of generation covered with hair. puerperal--belonging to childbirth. pulmonary--pertaining to the lungs. pulmonitis--inflammation of the lungs. pus--unhealthy matter. putrid--rotten, decomposed. pylorus--lower opening of the stomach. rectum--the lower portion of the intestines. regimen--regulated habits and food. { } retching--an effort to vomit. retina--inner coat of the eye. retroversion--falling backward. rigor--chilliness, convulsive shuddering. sacrum--bone of the pelvis. saliva--fluid of the mouth. salivation--unnatural flow of saliva. sanative--health-producing. sciatic--pertaining to the hip. scrofula--a constitutional tendency to disease of the glands. scrotum--the sac which encloses the testicles. sedative--quieting, soothing. semen--secretion of the testes. sitz-bath--bath in a sitting position. sterility--barrenness. stimulant--a medicine calculated to excite an increased and healthy action. styptic--a substance to stop bleeding. sudorific--inducing sweat. tampan--a plug to arrest hemorrhage. tonic--a medicine which increases the strength of the system. testicle--gland that secretes the semen. therapeutic--treatment of disease. tissue--the peculiar structure of a part. tonsils--glands on each side of the throat. trachea--windpipe. triturate--to rub into a powder. tumor--a morbid enlargement of a part. ulceration--the forming of an ulcer. umbilicus--the navel. ureter--duct leading from kidney to the bladder. urethra--duct leading from the bladder. uterus--the womb. vagina--the passage from the womb to the vulva. varicose veins--veins dilated with accumulation of dark colored blood. vascular--relating to the blood vessels. vena cava--the large vein communicating with the heart. venous--pertaining to the veins. ventricle--one of the lower chambers of the heart. viable--capable of life. vulva--outer lips of the vagina. womb--that organ of the woman which conceives and nourishes the offspring. zymotic--caused by fermentation. * * * * * { } alphabetical index. a broken heart, page. - abortion, or miscarriage, , adaptation, conjugal, affection, etc, - advantages of wedlock, - advice to the married and unmarried, - advice to the newly married couples, - a good name, - amenorrhoea, animal magnetism, a perfect human figure, how to determine, a plea for the girls, - apoplexy, how to cure, associates, influence of, bad company, result of, bad breath and quinsy, how to cure, babies, how to keep well, - bathing, practical rules for, , baths, all the different kinds of, , beauty, a dangerous gift, beauty, - beauty, sensible helps to, , beautiful children, how to have, - beginning of life, beware of idleness, beware of advertising quacks, biliousness, blackheads and flesh worms, bleeding, to check, bleeding, from the nose, boils, boys, save them, - bruises or cuts, bunions, burns and sores, care of the hair, - care of the new born infants, cases cited, cause of family troubles, , celebrated prescriptions and how to use them, - celibacy, disadvantages of, character, exhibits itself, character, how to read, - child in the womb, education of, - child bearing without pain, - chilblains, sprains, etc, children, too many, - chapped hands, chicken pox, choosing a partner, sensible hints in, - chastity and purity of character, - cigarette smoking, the destructive effects of, - cooking for the sick, - confinement, special safeguards in, - correspondence, conversation, - conversation, home lessons, - corset, benefit and injury, - costiveness, courtship and marriage, hints and helps, - conjugal affections and fatal errors, - conception, prevention of, - colic, constipation, how to cure, coughs and colds, croup, spasmodic and true, cramps and colic, remedies for, dangerous vices, - deafness, cure for, dictionary of medical terms, - diarrhoea, diphtheria, home treatment of, disinfectant, diseases of women, - disposition, an easy going, ??? diseases of infants and children, home treatment for, - diseases, transmission of, - diseases of pregnancy, - doses, of disease and death, - dress, - dress, diet, and exercise during pregnancy, - duration of pregnancy, dyspepsia, cure of, education of child in the womb, - eruption of the skin, , etiquette, rules on, - etiquette of calls, etiquette in your speech, etiquette of dress and habit, etiquette on the street, etiquette between sexes, expectant mother cautioned exciting the passions in children, , eye wash, falling of the womb, family troubles, cause of, family, government, - facial eruptions, how to cure, - feeding a baby on cow's milk, felons, how to treat, female character, influence of, { } first love, desertion, etc., films and cataracts of the eyes, flirting and its dangers, , fleshworms, etc., form and deformity, - foreign bodies in the eye, to remove, former customs among men, - formation of life, mystery of, , food, digestibility of, friends, procure none in haste, generative organs--male and female, - good behavior, at all times and places, good character, influence of, , gout, cure for, guard modesty, habit, hair, the care of, - headache, sick, cure for, , health, a duty, heartburn, heredity and transmission of diseases, - hints and helps on good behavior, hints in choosing a partner, - hives, cure for, home power, - honeymoon, how to perpetuate, home lessons in nursing sick children, - home treatment of the secret habit, - hot water, how to use in all diseases, - how to keep the bloom and grace of youth, how to be a good wife, - how to be a good husband, - how to feed infants, how to keep a baby well, - how to apply and use hot water in all diseases, , how to mesmerize, ??? how the mind speaks through the nerves and muscles, ??? how to cook for the sick, - human magnetism, effects of, ??? human figure, a perfect, - hygienic laws, - ignorance, coarseness, etc., illustrations, ??? immorality, disease and death, - impotence and sterility, - improvement of offspring, - impregnation, impregnation, artificial, infant teething, , infants, feeding, infants, care of, - influence of good character, - inhumanities of parents, - intoxication, infants, care of during hot weather, - infantile convulsions, , influence of associates, influence of female character, indigestion, symptoms of, inward graces, jealousy, its cause and cure, - kidneys, the object lessons, knowledge is safety, labor, time of expected, - labor, signs and symptoms of, , leucorrhoea, lessons of caution to young women, letters, how to write, - letters, social forms of, - life, beginning of, liver and kidneys of a drunkard, , lock and key, longevity, love, - love letters, forms of, - love power, the peculiarities of, love, connubial, love and common sense, , love spats, - lost manhood restored, , lungs and heart of a cigarette smoker, , maidens, a word to, male and female generative organs explained, - manhood wrecked and rescued, - man, a careless being, mashed nails, men, prostitution of, - maternity, preparation for, , marriage, history of, - marriage securities, - matrimonial pointers, - menstruation, - mother's influence, morning sickness, mumps and measles, murder of the innocents, - { } nervous, disability, remedy for, nervous headache, neuralgia, , newly married couples, advice to, - new revelation for women, , nocturnal emissions, nursing, pains and ills of, - nursing sick children, - object lessons of the effects of alcohol and cigarette smoking, - offspring, improvement of, - old maids, - our secret sins, - ovum, ripe from the ovary, pains and ills in nursing, - person, care of, personal appearance, personal purity, , physical and moral degeneracy, , piles, cure of, pimples, how to cure, plain words to parents, poisonous literature and bad pictures, , poisons, remedies for, popping the question, - politeness, - prescriptions, celebrated, - prevention of conception, - preparation for maternity, , pregnancy, signs and symptoms of, - pregnancy, diseases of, - pregnancy, relation of husband and wife during, prisons overflowing, private talk to young men, - private word to the expectant mother, producing boys or girls at will, prostitution, cause and cure, - puberty, virility and hygienic laws, - quacks, quinsy, relation of husband and wife during pregnancy, road to shame, the, - ringworm, rose rash, safeguards during confinement, - safe hints, - save the boys, - save the girls, - scriptural declaration, scarlet fever, scarlet fever and measles, secret sins, symptoms of, - secret diseases, curse and consequence, - self control, sensible hints in choosing a partner, - sensible rules for the nurse, sexual propriety, etc., - shall pregnant women work, shame, the road to, - signs and symptoms of labor, , signs and symptoms of pregnancy, - sin of ignorance, slave of injurious drugs, - small families and the improvement of the race, - social duties, - solemn lessons for parents, - social evil, remedies for, sprained ankle or wrist, stomach, the object lessons, startling sins, - strong drink, sterilized milk, superfluous hair, sweating feet, cure for, table manners, practical rules on, , the beginning of life, the curse of manhood, - the last tie, the ideal man, the mother's influence, - the toilet, - the history and mystery of the corset, - the inhumanities of parents, the road to shame, , throat trouble, tight lacing, effects of, , time of expected labor, how to calculate, toilet, the, - too many children, - to young women, - turpentine, applications, unwelcome child, - value of reputation, virility, vice or virtue, vomiting, waists, natural and unnatural, warts and wens, water as medicine, wedlock, advantages of, - wedding, , what women love in men, - what men love in women, - when and whom to marry, - where did the baby come from, whooping cough, women, new revelations for, , women who make the best wives, - words for young mothers, , worms, round and pin, * * * * * notes [ ] above syringe will be sent by publishers, postpaid, for $ . . the cleanser alone for c. [ ] this is the title of a pamphlet written by henry c. wright. we have taken some extracts from it. [ ] some of these valuable suggestions are taken from "parturition without pain," by dr. m. l. holbrook. [ ] this quotation is an appeal to mothers by mrs. p. b. saur, m.d. * * * * * corrections made to printed original. p. . s. . "victims of their own sin.": 'or' (for 'of') in original. p. . s. . "it is necessary to one's personal happiness,": 'neccessary' in original. p. . s. . "not too rigid": 'rigd' in original. p. . s. . "should you chance": 'yon' in original. the same error in "unless you are engaged", p. . s. . p. . s. . "the love and admiration of young ladies": 'admiraton' in original. p. . "a glow of satisfaction and delight": 'satsfaction' in original. p. . s. . "do not bungle courtship": 'no' (for 'not') in original. p. . "rather ... to a man without money than to money without a man": garbled to 'with a man' in original. p. . s. . "fallopian tubes.": 'fallopion' in original. p. . s. . "sufficient in amount to impregnate": 'amouut' in original. p. . s. . "take plenty of out-door exercise": 'excercise' in original. p. . s. . "to be a dwarfed and puny race": 'to a be' in original. p. . s. . "no tying is necessary": 'no time is neeessary' in original. p. . s. . "the above cuts are given on page ": incorrectly ' ' in original. p. . s. . "were to adopt": 'where' (for 'were') in original. p. . s. . "inflammation of lungs": 'of of' (over line-break) in original. p. . s. . "moral manhood and womanhood": 'womahood' in original. p. . s. . "proof of this is especially furnished": 'if' (for 'is') in original. p. . s. . "sooner or later contracting disease": 'dis-disease' (over line-break) in original. p. . s. . "chloral, bromide and hyoscymus": 'hyoseamus' in original, 'hyoscymus' is his spelling on p. (it should really be 'hyoscyamus'). p. . "stricture of the urethra.": 'uretha' in original. p. . s. . "one becomes robust and healthy": 'heatlhy' in original. the following index entries in the original do not seem to match anything in the text: disposition, an easy going, how to mesmerize, how the mind speaks through the nerves and muscles, , human magnetism, effects of, - illustrations, men, women, and god a discussion of sex questions from the christian point of view by the rev. a. herbert gray, d. d. author of "the christian adventure," "as tommy sees us," etc. to my wife who for twenty-five years has been my chief teacher and has interpreted life and god to me through the contents of the daily round preface this book has been written at the request of the student christian movement, and is addressed in the first place to men and women of the student age. i have undertaken the task with great gladness because my long and happy contact with men and women through the student movement has taught me how great is the need for a fuller understanding of the problems of sex, and how possible it is that men and women should find help through the timely suggestion of right and wholesome thoughts. my brother, dr. charles gray of london, has contributed a very valuable appendix dealing with certain facts in a way which is only possible to a medical man, and i am very greatly indebted to him for thus enriching this volume. it will be apparent to all who read it that i also owe a great deal to many who have shared with me their knowledge and experience. in particular i owe much gratitude to a number of generous-hearted women who have enabled me to write the chapters which are more especially addressed to their sex. i have deliberately omitted from these pages any reference to disease. i do that not because i am not impressed by the terrible penalties with which nature visits certain sins, but because i do not believe in the power of fear to deliver us. though there were no such thing as venereal disease, immorality would still be a way of death, and morality would still be the way of life and joy. till we perceive that we are not on the path of progress. books of this sort have generally been addressed specially either to men or to women. i write to both alike because i am quite sure that until men and women understand and help each other, there is going to be no happy solution to the problems of sex. when they do so learn to co-operate i believe we shall as a race find our way out into that larger and happier life which can only be ours when we have accepted the facts of sex and learnt to use them to the enrichment of human life and the glory of god. a. herbert gray. _glasgow,_ . contents preface introduction i. knowing the facts ii. comradeship iii. love iv. falling in love and getting engaged v. our moral standards vi. a man's struggle vii. prostitution--a chapter for men viii. a girl's early days ix. involuntary celibacy x. the art of being married xi. unhappy marriages xii. the influence of social conditions xiii. forgetting the things which are behind appendix--some of the physiological facts. by a. charles e. gray, m.d. introduction in the following pages i propose to write simply and plainly about the social, personal, and bodily relations of men and women, and about the ways in which their common life may attain to happiness, harmony, and efficiency. i shall deal with matters often handled only with much diffidence, and thought of with uncomfortable reserve. and i address myself to men and women alike. i do it all on the basis of one assumption, namely, that a god of love in designing our human nature cannot have put into it anything which is incapable of a pure and happy exercise; and in particular that in making the sex interest so central, permanent, and powerful in human beings he must have had some great and beautiful purpose. i start, in fact, with the faith that the sexual elements in our humanity, once rightly understood and finely handled, make for the enrichment of human life, for the increase of our health and efficiency, and the heightening of our joy. i believe that nothing is more necessary for the world to-day than that we should trace out the ways in which this tremendous life force that is implanted in us all may be used to forward the higher aims of our common life, and to help the race on its upward march. and yet even as i write the word "sexual" i cannot but remember that the mere word will for many good people produce a sensation of distaste. partly because they have a sincere passion for purity, and partly because this whole subject has been defiled for them by the excesses and indecencies of mankind, they doubt whether it can be right or useful to think about it at all. they regard the facts of sex with a mixture of fear, perplexity, and shame, and take themselves to task if still some curiosity about them lingers in their minds. therefore before i go any further i would like to ask such people to realize that they are denying my initial assumption. they have not yet come to believe that there is any divine and holy purpose enshrined in the sexual side of life, although god is responsible for its place in our humanity; and i would beg them forthwith to think this matter out. sex is no accident in our humanity. the function of the sexual elements in our physical frame is so central that unless they be truly managed health and strength are impossible. their relation is no less vital to our mental and aesthetic life, and they appear to control almost absolutely our nervous stability. no man or woman attains to fullness and harmony of life if the sexual nature be either neglected or mismanaged. no society is strong and happy unless this part of life is truly adjusted. it may even be said that the evils that come through the mismanagement of sex relations have beaten every civilization up to the present. and no doubt it is natural enough to shudder over the abominations of prostitution and sex vice in general, and so to turn our minds away from the whole matter. but for all that our emotional energies would be better employed in trying to understand this titanic force, and in learning how it may be utilized for our upward progress. mere prohibitions have so utterly and entirely failed us that we ought now to realize that there is no hope in them alone. what we need is a positive constructive ideal for this part of life which will indicate the real value of the sexual forces in us, and not leave young men and women partly perplexed, partly ashamed, and partly annoyed because they are as the creator made them. and so i repeat we must begin with the assumption that, though we have not yet spelt it out, god must have had some great purpose of love when he created men and women with a clamant sex instinct at the center of their personalities. hebrew instinct declared that "god saw everything that he had made, and behold it was very good." christian instinct must repeat the verdict with vastly increased conviction, for our humanity is such that the son of god could wear it. he was not ashamed to call us brethren, and to be tempted like as we are. to suggest that in passion and in its exercise at the bidding of love there need be anything that is not holy, is to arraign the creator. sex love abused and misunderstood has indeed strewn the world with tragedies and disease. but sex love is going to remain. not until we have learnt to make it an instrument for the perfection of life and the heightening of vitality can we hope to reach the life which the love of god designed for us; and to that we shall not attain until we have dared to acquire knowledge and through knowledge to attain to wisdom. the ideal which still lingers in many minds, though it is seldom openly confessed, is that boys and girls, young men and women, should be kept in complete ignorance of the truth about their sexual natures until they marry, and that then they should be left to learn all that they need to know from mother nature direct. that at least would seem to be a fair inference from the fact of the conspiracy of silence in which ninety per cent of parents have engaged towards the beings they love best. unfortunately in order to carry out the policy thus implied it would be necessary to keep children from associating with other children, to forbid them to read the bible, the great classics of literature, and the daily papers--to keep them from the theatre, and from the study of nature--in fact to bring them up in a world which does not exist. for in all the ways i have suggested do boys and girls now collect garbled, half-true, and distorted notions about sexual life. and even if it were possible to carry out the policy it would still not be desirable. marriage is not the simple and easy thing which the policy would imply. mother nature does not teach young couples all that they need to know. often they make serious mistakes in the first few days. often they mishandle and spoil the beautiful relationship on which they have entered to their own disgust and disappointment. uncounted couples to-day have reason for the bitterness with which they complain that nobody ever taught or helped them. in fact the policy of silence is as cruel as its assumptions are untrue. ignorance is an impossibility for the young. our choice lies between garbled, distorted, and defiled knowledge and a knowledge that shall be clean, innocent, and helpful. it has often happened that men and women brought up on the policy of silence have first learnt the facts about life through some contact with vice or sin, and those who know what horrible sufferings sudden discoveries of that sort may mean for sensitive natures cannot possibly have any doubts remaining on this point. there are few more cruel things possible than to bring a girl up in the ignorance which is mistaken for innocence and then to allow her to go out into the world to learn the truth by chance, or through some unclean mind. that is why i gladly address myself to the task of this book, in which at least some of the truth is told. of course the real issue that stands in the background here is the one which concerns the nature of true spirituality. we are all agreed that the essential greatness of man lies in the fact that in him spirit may rule everything else. and until spirit does thus rule he has not reached his true life, but the question of the place of the body in the full life of man still remains to be faced and thought out. the hermits of the desert assumed that the way of true life lay in the repression of all bodily desire and as much negation of the body as is consistent with mere existence. but in fact they often succeeded in making life disgusting, and generally in making it useless. it may be doubted whether they contributed anything to the real problem of civilization. yet their mistake is still repeated in part by many good people. many still think that the way of the higher life consists in forgetting the body as much as possible in order that the soul may live in freedom. they admit the body's needs with reluctance, and treat it as something with no essential relation to their spiritual activities. often they willfully neglect the duty of health. still more often they believe they ought to regard with disapproval the clamant desires and cravings of our bodily natures. but in so doing they miss the real significance of the incarnation. our life here is an embodied life, and it cannot be fine unless the body is finely tempered. that body is designed as the instrument through which the spirit may find expression. the first essential no doubt is to submit it to discipline and so reduce it to the place of a servant. at all costs it must be brought under control. it must be understood, and kept in good health. and if these things be neglected the life of the spirit is hampered and depressed. but still spirit must express itself through body, and all the wealth of powers with which body is endowed has significance and worth. for this reason the attempt to keep spiritual and bodily activities separate always revenges itself upon its authors. on the one hand it leads to an impoverishment of the spiritual life, for on these terms the spirit is left with no fine instrument through which to express itself in the real world. and on the other hand, bodily activities divorced from the control of the spirit tend to become mere animal things and so to produce disgust and degeneration. but indeed the body cannot without disaster be simply ignored. the attempt merely to repress its manifold urgencies leads to a state in which these forces seek out for themselves abnormal channels of activity, so destroying the harmony and balance of life. the essential glory of human beings lies in the fact that in them body and spirit may be so wedded that their activities are woven into one harmonious whole. it was in a moment of real insight that robert browning cried-- "let us not always say, 'spite of this flesh to-day, i strove, made head, gained ground upon the whole.' as the bird wings and sings, let us cry, 'all good things are ours, nor soul helps flesh more now, than flesh helps soul.'" now all this is supremely true of the sexual part of life. if mere lust is the vilest thing on earth, pure love is the most beautiful. and when pure love dominates a life all the sexual activities of the body may be transmuted and redeemed until a complete life is attained in which all the primal forces of our beings find a happy exercise under the control of a passion that is at once physical, mental, and spiritual. but the body is not in this process denied. it is accepted, understood, and made to play its true part. if passion be truly handled it provides the driving force for a life that is effective, courageous, and joyous. he is most truly living a spiritual life who has learnt to use all the powers of his incarnate nature in a life of strenuous activity and loyal love. i do not mean of course that there is no place in the highest type of life for renunciation. nor do i mean for a moment that only in marriage can greatness and fullness of life be attained. it is hard to use words correctly at a time when special meanings have come to be attached to such words as repression and suppression. what the psychologists have discovered is that unconscious, or incomplete, or unaccepted repression of bodily instincts leads to a dangerous condition. he who has not really surrendered desire, but simply tried to drive it underground, may indeed reap troubles enough and to spare. but it needs no psychological training to know that deliberate, sincere, and courageous renunciation of this or that bodily desire for the sake of some compelling ideal may lead to the very finest kind of life. only in this process the body is not ignored. it is taken into account. nor are its forces neglected. through the process technically described as sublimation, a way is to be found whereby life force restrained in one direction finds other and most valuable ways of expression. * * * * * i write this book as one who has learnt to thank god for all the elements in our normal humanity, and i send it out with the prayer in my heart that through it some may be helped to a truer understanding of themselves which will ease their way to success and joy and to that fullness of human life which is the divine intention for us. chapter i knowing the facts the first essential equipment for a right journey through the country of sexual experience is that we should know the truth about our bodies --those temples of the holy ghost--and should understand the meaning of the emotions and desires which connect themselves with our physical constitution. further, because the problem of sex can only be solved by the cooperation of the sexes working together in mutual understanding it is right that men should know a good deal about women's bodies and vice versa. such knowledge almost always begets sympathy and a certain intelligent tenderness. the lack of it has often led to unconscious cruelties, to misunderstandings, and even to serious mistakes. to mention one instance only, how can men be expected to treat the other sex with true consideration if they do not know that once a month for a period women ought to be saved from fatigue and strain? and yet there are many adult men in that position of ignorance. but though the detailed facts are all clean, and really easy to be understood, the manner in which they are conveyed into our minds is of vital importance. i do not think they can be fully conveyed through any printed page. they are too delicate for such handling. they are not truly conveyed unless behind the mere words which express them there is a reverent soul that can impart the right tone and emphasis to them. i would quite gladly attempt to put them all down here could i only be assured that my words would only be read by men or women when alone and in a reverent mood. that being impossible i can only begin by insisting that they ought to be known. and this i can also do--i can assure all young people who read these pages that there is nothing whatever in the facts of the case to be afraid of--nothing that they cannot know with perfectly clean minds. there are no terrible mysteries in the matter. there are no horrors in normal sex life. the truth even about the ultimate intimacies of body between men and women is that when truly achieved they are beautiful, and holy, and happy. but how are young people to get the right knowledge? the worst possible way in which to get it is to pick it up bit by bit in connection with evil stories, the reports of divorce cases, and the hints of vice which lurk in life's shadowy corners. yet that has been the most common way in the past. quite little boys have passed on mysterious stories from mouth to mouth defiling the whole matter. many girls have first begun to wonder and to ask questions when they first heard of an illegitimate child. words in the bible, such as "lasciviousness" and so on, have started mere school children asking questions to which probably they only got distorted answers from other school children. just because their parents did not tell them anything, they have assumed that there must be something to be ashamed of in the truth. and so ninety per cent of boys, and i know not what proportion of girls, have the subject of sex spoiled for them even before adolescence. sex, sexual experience, passion, and so on are things they think half unclean and yet annoyingly interesting. they are half ashamed, and yet remain curious. some are half afraid. some rather more than half disgusted. some indeed try to banish the whole subject from their minds. this may seem to be a refined thing to do; but, as we know with a new definiteness since the psychologists have explored the matter, it is really a disastrous thing to do. for to adapt ourselves to sex is one of the problems that cannot be escaped. in this world we cannot live the disembodied life. what we may do is to live a clean and happy bodily life, but only if we build our house of life on knowledge. wherefore to all young men and women i would say--get to know the real truth from someone you can trust. go to some older man or woman with a clean mind and a large heart, and learn about yourself. of course the best people in the world to go to are your own parents; but if for any reason that resource is not open to you, go to a doctor or a minister or some senior friend. it is worth while to take a lot of trouble to find the right person, and it is still more worth while to take trouble to avoid the wrong person. find someone who has seen the hand of god in the facts of sex and who can therefore talk about them without embarrassment. and do not let yourself be deterred by the fact that you may have made mistakes already of which you are ashamed. most of us made mistakes in our early years just because of the same ignorance which has been your fate. and therefore we are not shocked. we are just sorry, and would like to help. it is not true that mistakes inevitably spoil the future. forgiveness, recovery, and new life are possibilities for us all. and if you have already made mistakes through ignorance, that is but one reason more why you should know the truth without delay. when you are told the truth you will be learning something about god as well as about yourself, for he made you. nor is it only for your own sake that you ought to know. if you want to achieve helpful relations to men or women, and ultimately to achieve a right relation to husband or wife, you need to know the plain facts about our incarnate life. men and women often make the right way of life more difficult for each other by mere ignorance. you need to know if you are to be really kind. i cannot forget that when young men and women of sensitive and refined natures come to this knowledge all at once, when already adults, it may at first create a sense of repulsion. it does not do so for those who have learnt the facts bit by bit as they were ready for them. in that case they are accepted easily and naturally. but with the others it may well be that just because they have clean and delicate minds, they may at first experience some real distaste when they come to understand the creative processes through which they were born. but to any such i would say that against that possibility they may be forearmed, if they will but believe that when love takes two people into its charge the physical consequences all come to seem natural and right and sacred. you need never know anything of these matters at first hand except when real love for some man or woman has mastered you, and then the experiences to which that love will lead you will be found to be pure, and simple, and happy. if you approach this part of life with reluctance or in fear, or with some mistaken sense of shame, you may spoil it, and spoil somebody else's life in addition. but if you will believe this plain witness, which thousands would unite in offering you, you may be greatly helped. ultimately your way to success in this part of life lies in accepting your nature with its sexual elements-- not in trying to be a sexless person. that is not the way of purity. it is the way of folly. therefore again i say--do not be afraid of the facts. those who have traveled that country report to you "there is nothing here to be afraid of--at least there used to be nothing." and now in case these pages are read by some young married persons who still have before them the chance to serve their own children in this matter, may i insist that a solemn obligation rests on them to see that their children learn the truth in a simple and natural way from the lips of their fathers and mothers? the ideal way in this connection is that children should learn about their own bodies from the same people who first tell them about god and goodness. when that happens there is no danger that they will slip into an unclean attitude towards sex, for children nearly always accept the things their parents tell them as natural and right things. perhaps the first step in the way is to decide never to tell children anything that is not strictly true. when your little girls or boys ask how babies come, tell them that they could not understand, but that you will tell them as soon as they are old enough. and then very early tell them at least that babies come from the bodies of their mothers. the first wrong turn that the thoughts of many of us took in connection with sex was when some older person was made embarrassed or angry by our natural questions. we made a note then and there that there must be something queer and wrong about the way babies come, and the impression sank down into the unconscious part of us to bring forth mischief for years to come. but if a parent's own attitude to sex is clean and true he or she will find it quite possible to tell the plain truth to innocent little minds. the first bit of knowledge imparted, namely that babies come from the bodies of their mothers, will often beget a new attitude of regard and chivalry in children towards their own mothers. i can say with certainty that it is very good for a boy to know that for his sake his own mother once went through both pain and risk. and then let the rest all come naturally. it is better to tell your children in almost any way than not to tell them at all, but the best way is not to make a solemn occasion of the telling, but to let the knowledge pass from you to them as incidents and occasions suggest. if you have contact with nature in common with your children the occasions will be many for telling them about flower and animal life. and this will naturally lead on to instruction about human beings. even if such contact with nature should be impossible, life in any place and in any guise will assuredly present you with opportunities for your teaching. and in any case try to get in _first_. before the slime of schoolboy talk or the follies of schoolgirl talk have defiled the subject tell your children about it, as about something sacred and beautiful--much too sacred and beautiful for the chatter of idle hours in playgrounds, etc. you will be surprised, if you have forgotten your own childhood, how early it is necessary to do all this if you are to get in first. no general rules about the right age can be laid down. children differ enormously in regard to the ages at which they pass from stage to stage in their development. you will need to watch and to understand. above all do not let your telling take the form of mere prohibitions. do not let it stand related in the first case to warnings against sins. you do not want to associate the idea of sin in the first case with this subject at all. what you can do is to implant a certain reverence in a child's mind in relation to the whole matter, and if you succeed in that you will have forearmed your child against sin. i long to know that children are learning about sex not in association with scoldings, reproofs, and warnings, but rather as part of the splendid truth of god. it is the association of the facts of sex with the sins of men and women that has spoilt this part of life for most minds. of course it is only kind to tell boys and girls where it is that they may go wrong--it _is_ necessary to put them on their guard. but that should be a secondary matter--a mere addition to your teaching. my own experience as a minister has brought to my knowledge several very pathetic instances of how young girls get into very serious trouble just through lack of the knowledge their mothers ought to have given them. it seems possible still for a girl even of seventeen or eighteen, or even much older, to be almost incredibly ignorant, and no words are too strong to describe the cruelty of allowing them to face life in that condition. in any case let your teaching be, in general terms at least, complete before adolescence. if you wait till adolescence has begun, the telling may cause undue excitement. if you finish your general teaching before that stage it will save your child from much unwholesome curiosity. and here, though the subject must necessarily be distasteful to many, as it is to myself, i must put in a word about self-abuse. [footnote: knowing from experience that a good many parents do not even know what self-abuse means, let me simply say that it consists in such handling of the genital organs as creates emotional and physical sexual excitement of a kind that is obviously unnatural.] in recent years a large number of men have given me their confidence, so that i am not speaking from hearsay when i state that a percentage of men which probably approximates to seventy-five are, at least for a time, victims of this habit. i know that it is easy to exaggerate the physical and mental evil effects of it. but what is beyond all question is that it produces bad psychic consequences, and does so leave men out of conceit with themselves that when they realize that they have become victims to the habit their mental sufferings are often pitifully acute. indeed, it is because my pity and sympathy have been so drawn out to many men i know that i cannot forbear to speak on behalf of those who may yet be saved from it. the facts about it are that the habit is often begun at an almost inconceivably early age. it is very often begun without any sense that it is wrong, and certainly without any knowledge of how evil it is. and once it has been begun, it is horribly hard to abandon. uncounted good men have to confess to-day that in their younger days they never did achieve liberation in spite of constant efforts. uncounted men have brought about in this way a certain perversion of their natures with regard to their sexual functions which clouded their lives for many years. and yet the cure for this situation is very simple and almost easy. the men who have completely escaped practically all testify that they owe their immunity to the kindly and timely advice of some wise senior. the habit is _not_ natural, and therefore it is _not_ hard never to begin it. if it has not been begun in boyhood a very little determination will keep an adult man from falling into it. and this means that in this case parents can, if they will, save the rising generation. perhaps it is mothers chiefly who will have to render this service just because the habit is begun so very early, while boys are still in very close association with their mothers. i may seem to be contradicting what i have just said about mere warnings, but i would certainly say that any sort of arresting warning is better than inaction in the matter. yet even in this matter any kind of harsh warning is not the best way. a boy can be taught that there is a certain sanctity about certain parts of his body. he can be taught to treat them scrupulously and hardily. he can be given positive ideas which will save him, though i also believe that he ought to be told with definiteness to avoid this particular snare. i know of no other case in which a little wise love and timely vigilance may have such tremendous results in saving a child from future suffering and mistake. does anything more need to be said to mothers who really love their sons! i have written these things about boys and men because it is in that connection that i can speak from first-hand knowledge. but several women doctors have told me of late that there is a very real need that girls also should be helped in view of the similar danger which lies in their path. with them the habit is no doubt much less common. but it is common enough, and has serious enough consequences, to constitute a call to parents in their case also. most of those who read these pages will themselves be young. if they have troubled to read the paragraphs i have just written a number of them will, i know, be moved to say to themselves, "we would give anything if our parents had done these things for us." yes! it is a great pity they did not. but do not be hard upon your parents. they were the victims of a wrong tradition. the conspiracy of silence had in their day been given almost religious sanctions. some of them were themselves embarrassed by the whole subject just because no clean persuasions about it were current in their youth. that was their calamity, as it has in part been yours. but no such calamity need overtake your children. if you can and will cleanse your minds now--if you will take this whole subject out into the cleansing light of god, and look at it there till you have seen the divine truth about sex--if you can escape embarrassment and attain to thankfulness, then you will be able to keep this whole matter clean for your children. your generation has suffered much. the next need not. and remember that whatever doctors, teachers, and ministers may do for the nation, it must be parents who will save us in the long run. you at least can get ready. chapter ii comradeship the first outstanding social consequence of sex is the mutual attraction of young men and women in general. with apologies in the meantime to the girls who "have no use for men" and to the queer men who "don't like girls," i propose to speak to the great majority. to many a healthy and normal man there is nothing so wonderful or beautiful in all god's earth as a woman. and the converse is often true. the most interesting thing about the world for many of each sex is that the other sex is in it also. those who share the assumption on which this book is written will agree that an influence so strong, so profound, and so universal must have some fine significance in the divine scheme of things. it is an element in humanity which must affect the whole of life. to handle it rightly must be necessary if life as a whole is to succeed. and the first step towards a right handling of it is to accept the fact of it gladly and openly. the convention lingers that it is a little weak in a man to admit that he needs and craves woman's society, and that for a girl to admit the converse is not quite modest. and thus there is often a certain furtive element in the relations of the sexes between fifteen and twenty-five which is all of it a great pity. it is here that mrs. grundy has done us real injury. the poor old dear has been so fussy and nervous about it all. she has often tried to close the doors upon free and wholesome fellowship, and so has driven the young to find out other ways of meeting. but even she has not been able to keep the sexes apart. the truth is that the mutual relations of men and women in the realm of comradeship, and quite apart from marriage, may be so happy and enriching--so exhilarating and so bracing--that one may reverently say the whole arrangement of having divided mankind into two such groups, is one of the most splendid of the divine thoughts. for many a man the joy and worth of life depend largely upon women. the things he gets on his journey from his mother, his sisters, and his girl friends --from his wife, his daughters, and the women friends of later days are the golden things in life. and i know that many a woman would say a corresponding thing about the life career of a woman. that is god's plan--to make us dependent on one another for the stimuli, the inspirations, and the joys which prevent life from becoming drab and monotonous. "in the beginning god made them male and female," because he loved them. he made them gloriously different that they might enjoy and help each other. it is one of the mysteries of history that for uncounted centuries man imagined that he only needed woman in her capacity as a wife and potential mother--that for long ages woman had no place in society except as wife or mother. why it was so long before the spirit of god moved women to shatter that conception, i do not understand. but with its shattering there appeared for a time a tendency to imagine that men and women are in most things practically the same, and that the difference of sex is a very little thing. many people seemed inclined to believe that a woman is just the same sort of being as a man, except for one special function--that of motherhood--which can only be exercised occasionally, and need not be exercised at all. that i am sure was a mistake with the possibility of disaster in it. no doubt there are men with many feminine characteristics, and women with many masculine ones. but woman is not only physically different from man. she is different mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. and that is just why we need her so much in all life's departments. we need woman in politics, for instance, just because she is different from man. if the extension of the franchise to some millions of women had meant merely that the number of people had been increased who would think and vote simply as men had previously thought and voted, it would have been no great event. if women members of parliament are going to be mere replicas of the old type of m. p., then they might as well save themselves the bondage of westminster, for their presence there will make no valuable difference. but we do need them in the constituencies and in the house exactly because they bring new and different vital forces to bear on the conduct of affairs. experience is already teaching us that men and women think more truly together than they do apart. there is something about the sweep and range of man's thought which is peculiarly stimulating to woman's mind, and there are aspects of truth to which men remain blind until women point them out. for this reason very often mixed committees act more wisely than committees of only one sex. i suspect that the same thing holds in relation to art, and even to scientific work. it certainly holds in connection with social work, and church work. in fact in all life's departments, with a few obvious exceptions, men and women supplement and stimulate one another, and by comradeship make a bigger and better thing of life than would be possible otherwise. i am not assuming that a fine comradeship is necessarily an easy thing to achieve. i should be surprised if it were, for i know of no fine things that can be attained easily. comradeship between the sexes is rapidly spoilt by "silliness." it has to be based upon a considerable amount of restraint. it can be and it ought to be "jolly," but it becomes a poor thing at once when either man or woman forgets dignity. we are still at the experimental stage in traveling through this new country that has opened up to us within the last twenty years; and if that is a reason for being very charitable about mistakes, it is also a reason for being alert to find the right paths. i am very much impressed by the opportunity that lies before students as a class in this matter. in most of our universities and colleges men and women meet in the freest way, and they only and for themselves can discover how this new kind of life is best conducted. college rules and regulations are not going to do it for them. indeed the older generation is not going to do it for them. but if they will find out the right way and establish for themselves the right standards and conventions, they may do an immense service for the rest of the nation. and i believe they are already in large measure doing this. my experience has on the whole made me entirely hopeful, and has deepened my faith in the fitness of men and women for freedom. none the less and although i belong to the older generation, i propose to offer some suggestions for this part of life. i cannot make much use of the word "flirting." it has nearly as many different meanings as bolshevism. by some people it is applied to any high-spirited and happy intercourse between men and women, in which case it signifies only a right and good thing. some people mean by it "playing at being in love," in which case it is a silly and unworthy occupation which saps the real love power in men and women. others again mean by it the whole bundle of silly and sentimental manners which some men and some women assume when in the presence of the other sex, and in that sense of the word flirting means just exactly the foolish thing that common sense would declare it to be. what i am quite sure of is that success in this comradeship between the sexes depends upon the discovery of a right way which lies between the coldness which is the negation of good fellowship, and the undue familiarity which is both dangerous and undignified. we men have in the past been accustomed to boast that we will go just as far towards familiarity as women will allow, and have declared that this whole matter is one which women must regulate. male opinion on the whole used to regard a man as something less than a sport who would not take liberties wherever he saw they would not be resented. to use any sort of compulsion was indeed held to be ungentlemanly, but short of that men have recognized no compulsion of honor bidding them refrain from familiarities. "that's the girl's affair," they have often said. but this is really a flagrant case of the way in which we men deceive ourselves and assume positions that are both dishonest and cruel. i call this particular one dishonest because it is absurd for us to pretend that our expectations and desires have no influence on girls, and that therefore we have no responsibility for events. of course girls will tend to give what men in general persist in asking. they are just as human as we are. our conventional assumption that they are always mistresses of the situation--models of perfect self-mastery and understanding--is ridiculous and unkind. it is the age-long injustice which men have practiced towards women to pretend that they are creatures without passion and by nature always in control of their emotions. we know it is not true, and yet we act on the pretence that it is. and i call this position of ours cruel because there is no reason whatever why we should try to lay on women the whole burden of refining and controlling our mutual relations. why should we not take our share of the task? since history began we have asked many things of women, and then kept our real respect for those who refused them--a mean and cowardly attitude. women are not angels and it is mere sentimental nonsense to pretend that they are. but they can be splendid companions when men help them towards the attaining of that relationship. often we have seemed to want of them only sentimental dalliance, with the result that they often grant it. but many women would rather pass men by altogether than meet them in that way, although most really long for some relationship that will call into exercise the mental, aesthetic, and spiritual powers of both men and women. indeed there is ground for this charge against both men and women, that often in social intercourse with one another they suspend the exercise of the finer parts of their natures. we have all known men of great intellectual gifts and wide experience who when "the ladies" appear promptly put on the garb of mere triflers. and we have also known women with very real literary, or artistic, or intellectual gifts who treat men primarily as beings to be played with. and so do many people miss the enriching joys of companionship, and make social intercourse petty and wearisome. i believe most women want to know whatever is big and strong and efficient in men and not merely to find out whether they are good at badinage. and though many men think they are afraid of serious and clever women, they really in their hearts want to discover the responsible and sincere qualities in the personalities of girls and not merely the surface ones. god forbid that we should banish chaff and jest from our common life, or pretend to be old while still we are young! god forbid that we should be prim and puritan when the sun shines and life calls! there are no sillier things in life than the mere affectations of intellectuality. mere solemnity is both an ugly and a futile thing, and nothing is duller than a constant enforced earnestness. i remember a dear old celibate professor of mine who, having met a number of self-consciously intellectual women, became so annoyed that at last when asked whether he did not rejoice in the higher education of women he broke out with the sentence, "no! i don't like clever women--i like silly girls." the story may be apocryphal. the man at least was human enough to have said it. all that i am pleading for is that men and women should cease to hide from one another the deeper interests and concerns that really are present in their lives--that they should not merely play together but should also think together. as to the detailed manners and customs which should control comradeship i claim no authority to speak dogmatically, and, as i have said, i am sure the rising generation will have to settle these things for itself. i am at least sure that both the stately coldness of lady vere de vere and the familiarity in which dignity is forgotten are fatal. i confess to the hope that the linking of arms and the slapping of one another on the shoulder are not going to be characteristics of social intercourse in the future. and as to kissing i confess myself unblushingly conservative--victorian if you will. nine times out of ten it may not be a thing worth making any fuss about. but it is a mistake. partly, to put it bluntly, because kissing sometimes arouses desires which kissing cannot satisfy; and partly because it is, i believe, a fine instinct which suggests to both men and women that they should keep their kisses for the one person who will or may some day have love's right to them. and here i think i ought to put down for the sake of girls a fact of which they are often ignorant. when you allow men to embrace and kiss you--even when you allow them lesser familiarities--you may go your way thinking no more about it and undisturbed. the whole thing may not really have stirred you. but with men it is not so. often by such things tumults are raised in them whereby the way of self-control and chastity is made cruelly difficult. only some of you do it, and you have done it generally in ignorance. when you realize the truth you will see that it is unkind--possibly you may even realize that it is dangerous. and yet i do not want to overstate even this point. i heard lately of a girl who, having been told the truth, became so nervous that she was afraid to sit within five feet of a man and found general social intercourse spoilt for her. there are no dangers for men, but on the contrary there is very great help for men, in the society of girls who will meet them in a spontaneous, natural, and friendly way. it is when the girls who should be their natural companions are found to be prudish and stiff that men are all too apt to look for other girls who will at least be friendly and often much more than friendly. all that i want girls to know is that there are dangers on the horizon of this part of life, and to ask them to use their wisdom and their common sense. what i ask of men is that they should cease meanly trying to avoid responsibility in this connection, and should face their half of the problem. for the problem _is_ worth solving. happy, free, wholesome companionship between men and women is a bracing and splendid thing. we cannot possibly solve the whole problem of human life till we have attained to it. and now a last word to the people to whom at the beginning i offered an apology--to the exceptional young people who take no interest in the other sex. i do not commend your attitude. it is not wise. if it is in your case instinctive and spontaneous you need not worry, for nature will soon cure it. but if you have consciously adopted it, or are deliberately retaining it, you are making a serious mistake. you are not sexless beings, and by adopting this attitude you are repressing certain parts of your natures which will one day make their presence felt whether you like it or no, and possibly in unhappy and unnatural ways. girl friendships cannot fully and finally satisfy any girl. companionships with other men are insufficient for any man. instincts in your beings which may not be denied demand something else. if you have decided that there is nothing worth while in the fellowships that may exist between men and women, surely it is plain that you must be wrong, for the verdict of nine-tenths of mankind is against you. if you have in you any positive antagonism to the other sex, that is in itself a manifestation of your sexual nature, and a bad one. there is a fine, breezy, sunny world full of beauty, interest, and deep satisfaction for our humanity, the doors of which you are closing on yourselves. if some people have traveled there unwisely or have lost their way in it, that is only a coward's reason for staying outside. things may seem to be going very well with you in spite of your attitude while you are still in the early twenties--you may say that you are getting from life all that you want. but as you approach the thirties you will infallibly discover your mistake. nature will then assert herself. a certain mysterious loneliness will overtake you, and life will lose its flavor. in all modern life there is no harder problem than the one which arises for those who without any will of their own have to face that situation. to court it is mere folly. as a matter of fact behind your attitude there lies concealed the attempt to deny your sex, and that is the one impossible thing to do. you may control it, discipline it, or sublimate it; but you will do nothing but make trouble for yourself till you have accepted it. if it annoys you to find that you are not sufficient in yourself for yourself--if in particular you resent the mere suggestion that the other sex should in any way be necessary to your completeness and happiness, you are really quarrelling with the established nature of things. you may do that if you like, but there is always only one end to the quarrel. it is we who get broken, not the eternal order. chapter iii love the crowning fact about sex is that it makes possible the experience of being in love. i am sure that all possibility of a right handling of sex problems depends upon a true understanding and valuation of love-- that beautiful and imperious emotion which masters and transforms both men and women, which is closely linked with the creative instinct, and which at a certain stage in its growth calls into being the whole group of tumultuous sensations and demands known as passion that it may achieve its own fulfillment. if we know the truth about this matter we shall with comparative ease answer most of the questions which arise in connection with sex. by what divine and mysterious instinct it is that love is awakened i do not know. a man may know and appreciate a score of women, and yet remain in the depths of him essentially unmoved; and then some one woman with no conscious purpose will release some secret spring of life in the depths of his personality, whereby she becomes for him hence forth the center of the world. it may happen that this love comes on the heels of knowledge and grows out of friendship. i believe they are fortunate persons to whom things happen in this way. but it may also be that the mysterious instinct will do its work at a first meeting. love at first sight may be quite incomprehensible and unreasonable, but it is a fact none the less. one meeting may fix the destiny of a man or a woman, even though the second may not occur for months or even years. the days that immediately follow this experience may not be happy days. many a man has to serve and wait ere he can awaken love in her who is to him the one woman in the world. many a woman has to wait and wonder and face distress. then, too, till the stage of mutual acknowledgment is reached love makes men and women awkward. they do uncouth, crude, and clumsy things. they get into muddles. they make mistakes. it would seem that some delicate process of mutual adjustment is often necessary before two souls can really find each other, and while the stumbling preliminary days last, love is often a torture as well as a delight. nor are the best lovers the most successful at first. a superficial emotion may be easily handled, but a deep one will upset a man and make him strange to himself. and so two people will maneuver and wander and baffle each other. they will often be sure and then uncertain by turns, and will wonder whether love does not chiefly mean hopeless complications. but when two souls do really discover each other, then at once a new life begins, so radiant, beautiful, stimulating, and mysterious, that even the poets have failed to find sufficient words for it. in their hearts two lovers always know that this is what they were made for-- that this is the very core and essence of human existence. i think they generally know that they have been ushered into a house of life of which they are quite unworthy, and that they take their first steps therein in reverence and in awe. let me simply enumerate some of the manifest consequences of this love. . from the very first love expresses itself as a reaching after intimacy. for many days two lovers are busy telling each other all about themselves, about their past experiences, their hopes and aspirations, their doubts and fears, their relations to other people, and their various circumstances. they want to know and be known. they want to share everything. towards mere friends we do well to practice some reserve. by talking about ourselves we may be apt to bore them. but lovers want to know everything, and are wise if they have no reserves. . then, secondly, love obviously increases the vitality and so adds to the physical beauty of both men and women. indeed it increases vigor of all kinds, producing new powers of sheer physical and nervous endurance. what will a man who is truly in love not do for love's sake, and that without thinking of fatigue! what untold things women have accomplished under the spur of the same inspiration. . thirdly, it awakens the latent idealism of both, it is not by accident that men in love are found trying to write poetry, though it may be a bad accident if other people have to try to read it. of course we laugh at this naïve habit, because poetry seems a thing incongruous with the ordinary prosaic man, with his baggy trousers and clumsy ways. but for my part i rather incline to thank god that such an impulse should ever disturb the average man. what could be better than that at one stage of his life at least he should try to reach the stars. and if from the works of real poets we were to banish all the love-inspired poetry, how paltry would the remainder seem. . still further, love awakens the soul. our spiritual capacities share in the general stimulus which it brings. it is not by chance that courting couples go to church. they do _not_ go simply to whisper in the gallery, and if they do hold hands during the sermon i do not think that god is ill pleased. they go because the inspiration of love inclines them to long after god. of course it does. all love is of god, and this special kind bears openly upon it the marks of its divine origin. and while on the one hand it is true that love leads towards religion, it is equally true that without a sense of things spiritual love cannot be its perfect self. perhaps the commonest cause of the failure of love lies in some arrest of spiritual development. for when the soul is asleep, what is left of love is a poor thing. . and then, fifthly, at some point in its growth love summons passion into life. what has been hitherto an emotion of the heart becomes also a tumultuous activity of the whole being, and love having mastered the whole incarnate nature of each in turn drives the two together in that oneness of the flesh which is the decree of god. no doubt it is just here that the compulsions of civilized society set a serious problem for ardent lovers. primitive men probably knew nothing of a period of engagement, and lovers would proceed to become wholly wedded just as soon as nature laid her compelling hand upon them. but it is our glory that we are not simply the tools of natural forces. we belong to the directorate in this life, and even on the force of love we can impose times and seasons. but when the right time does come, then lovers who have already been attaining to union of heart and mind express their passion also in the union of their bodies, and this wonderful experience, when it does so enter life, is realized as something sacramental. it is literally and exactly an expression in the terms of the body of something which is already a spiritual fact. nothing satisfies real love except this complete mingling of two personalities. it is not satisfied without physical intimacy, and yet physical intimacy alone is not enough. that which is satisfied by mere physical intimacy is not love. the full human passion which alone deserves that name calls also for intimacies of mind and spirit--for the interplay of two personalities through the whole stretch of their powers. but it cannot be too strongly said that on the terms i have indicated the ultimate bodily union of two lovers is a beautiful and happy thing. it is felt to be something with large spiritual consequences. in some mysterious way it really does bind souls together. each knows that henceforth he or she is bound to the other for life, and a man is usually moved by a glowing sense of reverent gratitude to the woman who has thus trod with him the strange paths of that new country. considered apart from love, such an experience may seem to be gross, because apart from love it is gross. but as an incident in the communion of two loyal hearts it is realized as a pure and natural thing. through it the flesh is caught up into harmony with the spirit and is thereby redeemed. a certain new balance and repose of being is attained whereby a whole personality will experience a wonderful sense of liberation. [footnote: i do not think the creative instinct often enters into consciousness at this point. it does so with some women, but with very few men. as a rule the real content of the experience is just an ardent desire in each for utter nearness to the other. it is the expression of their love that they desire. it is each other that they love--not as yet any third person.] . and then, sixthly, from love that has thus run its natural and ordained course a new life results. even human love has creative value, and by it the doors are opened into that most sacred world in which a man and a woman succumb together to the power and beauty of an infant, thrill together over its untold charms, and find that little hands are clutching at their hearts with amazing and mystic power. and not until that point is reached is love made perfect. mere lover's love is a selfish thing. i do not say it in criticism, for i believe lovers have an inalienable right to live for a while simply for each other. but from the point when they bend together over a baby's cradle they take a step up in life, and their love becomes a call to service, whereby its selfishness is purged away. parentage is usually thought of as supremely the crown of a woman's life. so it is, though it is not its only possible crown. but i believe that it is equally the crown of a man's life. it is perhaps true that the production of true fathers belongs to a later stage of human evolution than the production of mothers, for fathers are not so obviously essential to young children. but i hazard the suggestion that one of the prime needs of the stage at which we have now arrived is just that men should learn the arts and powers of fatherhood, and take a larger part in the rearing of children. and i believe men will find, as i have said, that parentage is for them also the crown of life. with many men the emotions that come with fatherhood are the deepest of which they are capable, and they are also the finest. even men who seem to me pretty low in the scale of humanity often recover some of their lost manhood when under the power of their own little children. and with normal men their fatherhood comes to dominate life. its most obvious result is that it compels a man to work, and to work hard. we are mostly born slackers. we should like to take many holidays, and if we were left alone we would do it. but parentage binds us to the wheel. we discover that we have got to face the grind, because the plain alternative is that the bairns would starve. and so we do it. of course at times we rebel. you may hear men every now and then complaining half cynically and half humorously that, having once been indiscreet enough to fall in love, they were thenceforth swept along by rapids till at last they found themselves involved in all the paraphernalia of family life from perambulators to doctor's bills. but there are few men who do not know in their hearts that the toils have been the making of them. if love led only to delights, it would ruin us. it is because it leads also to heavy labor that it makes us. it is because i see this so clearly that i am not so much distressed as some people are over the fact that motherhood also means very hard work. [footnote: no doubt in our disordered social life it often means far too much work. no doubt thousands of mothers are simply crushed by it. but it is not a good thing when mothers can evade even reasonably hard work.] the great discoveries of the moral and spiritual worlds are only made in and through work--yes, and sometimes through work that is sheer grind. there is no other road to moral or spiritual maturity either for man or woman. i have this deeply rooted objection to inherited wealth-- that it makes possible an escape from this redeeming discipline, and by removing one of the normal consequences of love often leads to the spoiling of love. let us, however, be clear about this further fact--love does not merely lead to enforced labor, it also redeems that labor. not merely does a man face up to his job because it is in a sense done for love's sake, but love itself supplies the necessary respite and counterbalance to the burden of toil. we all need recreations. the tightly drawn string must be relaxed. moods come when normal and quite christian men say, "oh, i can't stick it any longer; i want to enjoy myself." we naturally demand that there should be an element of delight somewhere in life. notoriously it is rather hard to come by. city crowds at night present the spectacle of people making huge and fevered efforts to run delight to earth and often achieving only pitiful failure. i believe the normal way in which delight ought to enter the lives of married people is just through their satisfaction in each other's society, enriched by the society of their children. when a man and a woman have made the right sort of home they escape finally from all fevered cravings after picture-houses and ball-rooms. there lies to hand for them that which will day after day refresh and delight them, and make them ready for to-morrow's toil. i am not forgetting that at this point modern voices will want to break in on me with appropriate quotations from bernard shaw and others, and try to silence me by pointing out what a mean, petty, dull, sickly, and stodgy thing mere domesticity can be. yes! it can be all that for people who let it be all that. even love that once was passionate cannot redeem the life of two people unless there is something there to redeem. two lifeless and stupid people living together _can_ make of life something duller than either could make alone. if it be part of general wisdom to try to live widely and fully, and to use as much of our natures as is possible, that is surely as true for two people together as it could be for them apart. and to make a marriage into a great thing both parties to it must work to make it wide in its horizons and worthy because of the multitude of its interests. no sane persons imagine that mere marriage excuses people from the necessity for handling this big, mysterious, and difficult thing which we call human life with vigilance and determination. but life on any terms for the great majority of people must have monotonous and trying periods in it. it almost always has heavy sorrows and not a few bitter disappointments. and it is in view of these things that married love is found to have redeeming power. it is one of the lies of the cynic that love must needs burn itself out somewhere about the forties. thousands of people have found at forty that the best was yet to be. for the fact is that all through the afternoon of life and even when the shadows lengthen towards the end love will still send beams of beauty and romance into daily life, and remaining still passionate will put golden content into the passing hours. it is life stories of this sort which alone reveal the meaning and purpose of god in making the sex interest so almighty and central in life. we do not understand love till we have thus looked on towards the end. when it is allowed to run its true course it does in this way redeem life. if i am told that i have drawn a hopelessly idealized picture of married love, i can only reply by a blunt denial. twenty-five years of intimate contact with ordinary people have taught me these things. the kind of life i have pictured is going on in uncounted small and unknown homes all over the country. it is going on with commonplace people who are neither very interesting nor very clever, but who are wise enough to be simple and human. the real wonder of love is just that it can lift two commonplace people into a life that is not commonplace. and that is just how most of us get our chance in life. the people who are going through these experiences are for the most part quiet people. we do not hear about them. they do not have novels written about them, and they supply no copy for the society newspapers. it is the other people who advertise their woes. it is the unhappily married who make a noise. only the very greatest novelists can make a good novel out of the story of a successful marriage. but apparently almost anyone can produce stories that people will read if only he or she puts in enough highly colored material about the aberrations of lovers and the possible ways in which marriage can be wrecked. it is sheer untruth to say that most marriages are failures. in most indeed there are ups and downs. the most affectionate couples make mistakes and quarrel over trifles. love does not make all tempers smooth in a hurry. but love does teach people how to get past such troubles. it does bring balance and repose into life for both husband and wife. it does tend to produce efficiency and health in those who handle it truly. it does make for normal and happy development. it is only with this background of positive truth about normal love that i can approach the other questions which must be dealt with in this book. if we are going to inquire as to the sanctions of the received moral standards, and the reasons which make the moral struggle worth while--if we are going to find the truth about the way in which to conduct married life, and find any light on the question of birth control, it can only be in relation to the positive truth about love and its manifold reactions on human beings. we shall never learn to manage the emotions and desires which arise from our sexual natures until we have first understood what it is that nature is trying to achieve through these means. to a number of these further questions i shall pass on in the succeeding chapters. i hope i may do so now on the assumption that anything is worth while if only we can conserve for ourselves the possibility of such a career of experience as i have outlined, and that whatever spoils such experience beforehand, or renders it impossible, is really an enemy both to our well-being and our happiness. if "life, with all it yields of joy and woe and hope and fear... is just our chance o' the prize of learning love how love might be, hath been indeed and is," then the key to all morality and all sound practical wisdom is just to conserve at all costs our chance of knowing love--love pure, passionate, fruitful, and holy. _unreturned love_ i ask myself whether i can say anything of use to those who love deeply and truly, but find their love unreturned. many who read these pages may say to themselves that they can fully believe that mutual love is the way into a wonderful country of new and full life, but that for them love has meant only a great longing and a great pain. they could give generously and nobly. they have in them a great wealth of love which they long to spend lavishly; but because he or she remains indifferent they find themselves tormented by that which is best in them. there is something here harder to face than even the sorrow of widows or widowers. to have loved and lost might be said to be a tolerable situation compared with the feeling that one's love has not been wanted. those who have never known such a situation may speak lightly of it. those who have will always want to deal gently and reverently with it. plainly it has great dangers attached to it. it is easy for those who are facing it to allow themselves to become bitter and cynical. it must be hard for them not to feel that many who do enjoy the privilege of mutual love are shamefully ungrateful. and it must be harder still to escape pangs of jealousy at times when they see the light of joy in the eyes of lovers, or the pangs of something finer than jealousy when they feel the charm of little children. i know of only one perfect resource for men or women in this situation. it lies in god. other people always seem dull and uninteresting to those who want supremely one special person. but god is not uninteresting. he has to be sought. he is not found by the careless or the cowardly. but those who seek him earnestly do find him, and as a sense of his love and his reality steals into the heart healing begins at once. he restores the soul. he fills the hungry. he is sufficient. and when that has happened other people begin to seem lovable too, and the human love that seemed at one point not to be needed finds numbers of objects. no one who can love is an unimportant person in a world that is starving for more love of divine quality. and this at least i can report for those whom it may interest--that i have known some very strong and gentle men, and some very brave, gracious and understanding women whose lives are very rich in blessing to other people, who know how to help the weak and comfort the sad, and in whose faces there shines the light of a great and patient faith. having wondered for a time whence came these great endowments, i have learnt at last that they were prizes won in a great contest wherein having had to face the trial of love unreturned they learnt at last to accept their own sorrow without anger, and then to use their power of love in self-forgetfulness for other troubled souls. yes, there is that to be said--to be said with great respect and tenderness because love unreturned involves a very fiery trial--but to be said with conviction because it is most blessedly true. chapter iv falling in love and getting engaged this will be a very short chapter, for there is only one thing which i feel moved to say on this subject, and yet it is so important that i put it in a chapter by itself. put in a sentence it is this: only real love offers a basis for a happy marriage, and real love is something more than physical attraction. if all young men and women knew that and would be strong enough to act upon it, there would be very few calamitous marriages in the future. but let us face the facts. mere physical attraction can be tremendously strong. it springs into existence sometimes between two people who hardly know each other. the explanation of it must lie in mysterious facts about our incarnate life which i certainly cannot analyze. once it is there it is felt as an imperious summons to marriage. to each the other seems for the time being a wonderful person, to be desired beyond all others. often the critical faculty in us is entirely suspended by this attraction; and "her" words seem wise, though in fact they are silly, and "he" seems noble, though in fact he is only an averagely decent man. two such persons long ardently to be together, though they do not nearly always want to talk to each other. they are held by something they do not understand, but which moves them profoundly. now by some mysterious and kindly providence i believe it usually happens that this mutual attraction declares itself between two people who as they do get to know each other find that they are also attracted mentally and spiritually. usually from this beginning a real fellowship between the two persons will grow up which involves nearly their whole personalities. many people who fell in love at first sight have made splendid marriages. but it does not always happen so. sometimes this physical attraction remains the only bond between two people. sometimes in the other departments of life they actually fret and annoy one another. sometimes a friendship refuses to grow up. sometimes even while the attraction still exists contempt lurks behind it. and that means that it is entirely unsafe to get engaged on the basis of a mere physical attraction. there is really something impersonal about mere physical attraction. the individual as such is hardly an active agent in it. he or she is the victim of some great life force that seems to want to throw men and women together regardless of their mental and spiritual qualities. behind a mutual physical attraction there must be some strange harmony between the two physical natures concerned. but that may be the whole truth of the situation. and to become engaged or married on that basis alone is just another instance of acting as if we were merely bodies, when we are not. it constitutes another attempt to forget mind, heart, and soul, and is therefore disastrous. and that, of course, means that a man and a woman, if they want to find their true life, must take care to get to know each other _before_ they commit themselves, even though they are attracted. "maggie" in _what every woman knows_ showed herself extraordinarily astute when she packed off her husband, who was the victim of an intense physical attraction for another woman, into a lonely place in the country where he would have to spend all day and every day with the lady whom he held to be his heart's delight. the result was that in four or five days he was bored almost beyond endurance. he had an acute mind and a very definite type of character, and no happy life was possible for him merely on the basis of a physical passion. therefore it is not enough that merely to look at "her" makes your blood run fast and your nerves tingle. it is not enough that the very sight of "him" should give you acute pleasure. before a man and a woman get engaged they would do well to have some long talks together, and so to find out what their real interests are, and whether their general views and purposes in life are such as can possibly be harmonized. marriage lasts for a long time, and is a poor affair when a husband is bored by his wife's conversation, or when a wife is repelled by her husband's views. even to such there may come recurrent hours of ardent love, but both will want more than that. we must take our whole selves into marriage, and to have experienced a mere physical attraction is no proof that we shall be able to do it. i remember one very distressed young wife who once asked me for help. she had been carried away by the attraction of a masterful man, and had lived through her engagement and the early days of marriage in a whirl of excitement in which she never stopped to consider what sort of a man he truly was. a month or two after marriage she inevitably began to find out, and was both shocked and repelled. she was longing to have a friend in her husband; but they both felt that a friendship between them was impossible. i am sure it must mean one of the hardest tasks which life ever sets any of us to keep one's head when under the influence of such an attraction, and perhaps to have to decide not to act at all in consequence of it. to stifle an incipient passion in that way may be a terrific business for some people. but we are queer complex creatures, and we needs must take account of the whole of ourselves if we are to find life. i repeat, physical attraction _is_ often the beginning of everything else. but it is not always so, and for that reason we must needs beware. of course the converse of all this is also true. a man and a woman may attain to a fine fellowship of mind and find co-operation in many ways congenial, and yet may experience no mutual physical attraction. and if they begin to think of marriage they have indeed a delicate problem before them. generally, i believe, the further intimacies which come with marriage will awaken physical instinct in both, and when nature has had her way with them a really complete marriage will be attained. but it is not always so. neither may have the power fully to awaken the other. in some marriages that are fine friendships either the man or the woman is half-conscious of deep-seated longings that have never been satisfied. and if by chance a third person appears with the power fully to awaken the physical nature of either the husband or the wife, a very difficult situation arises. i do not say it is a situation which cannot be handled successfully. i do not believe we need be the victims of passion. but only a fool would deliberately court the possibility of having to face the situation i have described. wherefore i say again we need to take account of the whole of ourselves if we are to find life. chapter v our moral standards there are at least three moral standards in existence in the english world. there is first the christian standard, for which men and women are equal, which recognizes the sacredness of personality in every case, and which calls for absolute continence and chastity before marriage and absolute fidelity after it. this is the standard i am concerned to understand and defend. there is, secondly, the legal standard, for which men and women have not equal rights, but which, in the marriage and divorce laws, accords to woman an inferior position--which takes no cognizance of immorality between unmarried persons unless children result and which, in england as distinguished from scotland, attaches no penalties to infidelity on the part of a husband. and then, thirdly, there is the working moral standard of society. i cannot describe it because it differs so greatly in different sections of society. in general it has to be said that it treats lack of chastity among unmarried men as a very venial offence and punishes the same offence in women with very severe social penalties; and it may certainly be said that it has not yet demanded a full recognition by the law of the equality of the sexes in the matter of moral and married rights. now the question of the relation of our legal standards to the christian standard is an exceedingly difficult and yet vitally important one. the hope of enforcing the christian standard by law has tempted many minds. in our own day many try to make the law of the land enforce the christian position about divorce. but there are grave difficulties in connection with this course. the christian attitude and spirit cannot be produced by law. the scope of mere law must always be much more restricted than the scope of the mind of christ. the christian mind is not primarily concerned with penalties and does not desire to see penalties attached to the failure to reach the christian standard in all things. to attach a criminal stigma to all lapses from the christian way in morals would be disastrous. what might be expected from the law of the land is, i think, that it should recognize the fundamental equality of men and women, and that, while demanding less, it should at least point towards the christian standard (see note at end of chapter). for the rest, the adjustment of legal enactments to the christian ideal must always be a matter for delicate and vigilant handling. with regard to the working moral standard of society there is just this to be said, that if the christian standard be the true one then our aim must be nothing less than a condition in which public opinion shall in all things endorse the latter. to-day the social standard is lax when the christian one is strict, and cruel when the christian is generous and forgiving. in saying this i am of course thinking of the _true_ christian standard. there is a conventional christian standard which is more cruel and unforgiving than society's standard. but it is really definitely unchristian. further, society is radically insincere, forgiving what can be kept secret, condoning on account of moral skepticism much general laxity, and yet breaking out into a mock moral indignation before discovered vice. we are all in great danger in this connection on account of the mysterious force of the herd instinct. we tend to accept what others think just because they think it. we live under the power of convention often without realizing how insincere and hollow convention may be. wherefore if we are ever to make progress it becomes nothing less than a duty to scrutinize current standards. they may be less than christian, and if we are ever to make progress it can only come through an honest process of inquiry and revision. _the reasons for the christian standard_ to-day the spirit of inquiry and challenge is definitely demanding the reasons for the christian standard itself. but i have no complaint to offer on that account. i believe only good can come from it in the end. i believe the stored wisdom of the ages is embodied in that christian standard, and that the more we know about sex the more clearly do we perceive that that standard points the way, and the only way, to real happiness for men and women in social relations, and to the attainment of our highest life. but i freely acknowledge the right of the rising generation to demand the reasons for this standard. i propose, therefore, to try to state those reasons on the assumption that i am addressing honest and sincere minds who only want to know the truth. i can only work out the answer bit by bit. to begin with, "why is self-abuse wrong?" it comes under the head of incontinence, which the bible and all serious moral teachers so firmly condemn. but why? doctors are beginning to say that unless it is excessive it does no particular harm either to the brain or the body. its victims worry about it--but need they? here at least the answer is easily found because it is supplied by those, and by all of those, who indulge in the practice. i have never met a man who did not despise himself for it. it invariably leaves a man out of conceit with himself. i have heard men stoutly defending irregular relations with women, but i have never heard this practice defended, even though it is exceedingly common. robust male sentiment is all against it. and the reason is that, because it is an attempt to satisfy sexual craving in an abnormal way, it always leaves psychic disturbance behind it. it may relieve a physical tension, but it does nothing to satisfy the whole man. it leaves a bad taste in the mind. both mind and spirit as well as the body enter into true sexual experience. they have no place in this, and by reason of it the inner harmonies of a man's nature are inevitably jangled. i have noticed, too, a further and very serious consequence of this habit. it plants deep in many men's minds, and especially in the minds of sensitive and intellectual men, an abhorrence for the sexual side of themselves. just because they have never achieved freedom from them, they hate and despise the passions that overcome them. this often leads to very serious consequences when love enters into their lives. they want then to dissociate love from all its physical concomitants. they regard all things sexual as impure. it may even come to them as a shock to find out that the women they love are capable of passion, and they resent any bodily effects of their own love. and this may almost spell calamity unless psychological adjustment is achieved in time. for true marriage _must_ involve a clean and happy acceptance of the sexual facts. a man must bring a clean mind to the whole of his common life with the woman he loves, and self-abuse is ultimately a serious evil just because it defiles the mind. then, secondly, why are wild oats evil things to sow? why should we not endorse the shrug of the shoulders with which society treats them? i notice that even women lightly forgive them, and i believe they make a mistake. forgiveness is indeed always a divine operation, but light forgiveness implies that nothing serious has happened. what then is so serious about licentiousness? i must of necessity discriminate at this point. by wildness men often mean occasional intimacies into which they do not pretend to be led by love. about such experiences i suppose men would say that they amount merely to the satisfaction of a physical appetite, and that after they are over a man may go his way as little affected as is a man who has satisfied his thirst. but that is not the truth about them. the man in such cases suffers damage. he suffers it because he has attempted an impossibility. he has tried to separate the various parts of his being, and to satisfy his animal nature without any consideration for his mind and heart. but sexual experience itself proves that that cannot be done. the sexual instinct is intimately related to our whole beings, but especially to our affections. at the moment of sexual intimacy a man at least pretends for the moment that he loves, and when he offers that pretence to someone whom in reality he despises and means to leave in an hour, he does violence to his whole nature. the soul of him insists all the time that this is a low business. his outraged mind and heart protest and produce an evil after-taste. no man likes to remember such events. the best of him could not enter into them. he is left jangled and upset. all that makes such doings seem right at any time is that when it has reached a certain degree of intensity passion seems to justify its own demands. that is the age-long illusion whereby evil deceives and betrays us. but till we have learnt to repudiate that suggestion we are not even on the way to succeed in this part of life. often the men who defend such indulgences admit that they are gross, and then fall back upon the contention that a man _must_ be gross at times--that his nature demands it. it is a fairly serious slander to offer to our sex. fortunately there exist thousands of incarnate proofs that it is _only_ a slander. we all know that his sexual nature sets the ordinary healthy man a very serious problem, and about that i have tried to speak with sympathy and charity in a later chapter. but the assertion that a man _must_ be gross is hard to hear with patience. it is one of the lies that savor of cowardice. by "wildness," however, men sometimes mean temporary intimate relations between men and women to which they _are_ led by love, and such relationships are at least very different in moral quality from the gross ones i have spoken of. why must they be condemned? my whole contention is that love and love alone makes physical intimacy pure and right. why then cannot love sanctify passionate relationships outside marriage? why should the union of true lovers be held to be impure before marriage and pure after it? let me answer the last query first. i do not think the union of true lovers apart from marriage is impure. i believe that such lovers make a very serious mistake--a mistake that may turn out to have been cruel. i believe that society is utterly right in condemning such unions, and that those who really understand will always refuse to enter on them. but impure is not the word to apply to them. they are clean and beautiful compared to the bodily intimacies of those who marry without love. and yet i do not think that even emotionally they can ever be perfect. sexual intimacy is not the perfect and sacramental thing which it is meant to be unless both parties come to it with free and untroubled minds, feeling that what they do is a right and happy thing. but in the unions of unmarried persons there generally lurks some half-hidden sense of shame. some part of the being of one or the other really endorses society's standards, and even love cannot dispel the shadows thus created. and yet still that does not meet the challenge to show the _reason_ for society's standard. the reasons are really many. in the first place, if unmarried lovers take steps to prevent their intimacy from having its due fruit in a child, they are robbing their experience of its fine spontaneity, and introducing an element of calculation and caution into what should be a thing unbound. while, on the other hand, if they do not prevent the coming of a child they are, in the present state of society, doing a definite and cruel wrong to their own offspring. to love a child dearly and to know that by your own act you have handicapped it in life from the first must be a bitter experience indeed. i am well aware that law in regard to illegitimate children is unchristian. even more is the attitude of society to them unchristian. but so long as things remain as they are, the parents of an illegitimate child do it a wrong. further, even though law and custom should alter, it would still be true that a child without both its own parents is seriously handicapped in life. which leads on to my next point; for, secondly, if two lovers really love, they want to give their whole selves to one another, including their whole futures. no man truly and loyally loves a woman who wants to keep open a loophole of escape from her. it would be well if women would always apply this test to the passionate protestations of men. real love is love without reserve. true sexual intimacy in itself means taking each other for better or for worse, and when lovers unite themselves though still unwilling for such permanent unions, their love is not perfect. they are not really united by love. they are letting mere present desire carry them away. i hear of many men, and even of some women, who ask why they should not have many lovers if they have many friends. the answer is that no man gives his whole self to a friend, but that love, when it is real, does mean the giving of your whole self. and that, plainly, a man can only do to one woman and a woman to one man. it is generally in defense of temporary unions that people question the necessity for marriage vows. but temporary unions cannot be ended happily. if they were entered on without love, they are gross things, as i have already said; and if they were the creation of real love, there is no happy way out of them. the two have been too close to one another to part without tearing apart--leaving ragged and it may be bleeding edges on their personalities. then again, as i have tried to show already, love is only made perfect when it is allowed to issue in responsibilities and labors. divorced from them it is a selfish thing. there is a wild and lawless element in passion, which is part of its glory. but that glory is only sweetened and justified for those who let their passion carry them through the whole career of experience to which it summons them. all this may be accepted as establishing a case for permanent unions as the only legitimate things, but inasmuch as it claims that the demand for permanence lies in the very heart of love itself it may still be asked with some urgency, "why introduce a marriage ceremony with public vows?" and here i must follow a somewhat different line of thought which may at first sight seem contradictory. in spite of all that i have said, i believe that even ardent lovers are all the better for being bound, because of the wayward element of inconstancy in human nature. thousands of married persons have never once been conscious of their vows. they have never come near thinking, "we must hold together because we promised," or "we must make the best of things because we are tied together." thousands have never for a moment wanted to change their condition. but with others it is not so. no men or women are always at their best. though they may have had moments on the heights when they gladly took each other for better or for worse, there will come other moods when the finer notes of love will not sound in their ears. there will come to all but a few couples hours when they will be irritated and annoyed with one another. and if they were free to do so, they might fling away from each other and so miss after all the best that was to be. for the best is not to be found in those early days when passion flames and dominates, but rather in those later days when two personalities have at last become really fitted to each other and when the daily round of labor is illumined by the lamp of love. and therefore, being what we are, it is a good thing for our own sakes that we should be bound. even though the bonds should actually mean pain, it is still good that they should be allowed to bind, though it be only for the sake of the children. passionate lovers do not think of children, but society must needs put their claims before all others. probably the historical reason why society came to insist on monogamy and to condemn all irregular unions lay in the fact that it is the inalienable right of a child to be brought up by a father and a mother, and that no society can be strong and finely ordered unless its foundations are laid in family life, wherein men and women co-operate to give the rising generation every possible chance. i assume that i am addressing honest minds that wish to handle the issues of life sincerely and wisely, and to them i am sure it must be worth pointing out that it can never be right for individuals to order their lives on principles which could not be given a universal application. i can well understand a passionate couple being quite sure that they will hold to one another throughout life, though they be in no way legally tied. i can imagine that many such couples would resent as a profanity the mere suggestion that they could ever want to part. but imagine what society would become if legal ties were abolished. you and your man or woman may be quite sure that you would never part, but you know that thousands would. couples would set out on the joint life with little thought, and allow the first painful misunderstanding to part them. many men would shake off their obligations almost as soon as they found they were becoming heavy. both men and women would pass from one temporary union to another, mutilating their better natures in the process. thousands of women would be left in helpless loneliness. tens of thousands of children would go uncared for and neglected. the picture becomes more horrible the more carefully you look into its details. and as you look you begin to see the real value of our moral standard. it is not an instance of the fussiness of mrs. grundy. it is not an instance of slave morality imposed upon free people. it is not one of the arbitrary dicta of a tyrannical church. it is rather the embodiment of the wisdom learnt through ages of varied and often tragic experience. it is an attempt to conserve for each rising generation the possibility of the best in the field of sexual experience. it does point out the way of happy, healthy, and complete life. i have left to the end a thought about the marriage ceremony which will only appeal to some, but which i feel ought to have a place in this chapter. many fine and sensitive lovers shrink from the publicity of ordinary weddings. their love is to them so sacred and so personal a thing that they do not want to make any parade of themselves before a great gathering of relations and friends. well! i know of no binding reason why such sensitive couples should call in the relations and friends. those relations and friends like to rejoice with those who rejoice, because of a very human and kindly interest. and many couples, and especially many brides, greatly enjoy their friends on their marriage day. if, however, a couple prefer a private wedding that is their affair. but about the place and value of a religious ceremony i do want to add a word. if a man and a woman realize that their love is a sacred thing, i believe they will find they actually want to make the great step into final intimacy in the presence of god, and to stop for a moment ere they go up into that mysterious country to ask his blessing and guidance. i have said that at a certain point love itself demands intimacy, and that it is an entirely natural thing for us to desire it. but none the less it _is_ a momentous hour in the life of any couple when they pass behind the last barriers and enter on a sacramental oneness of body. it is a wonderful hour--the hour of all others when the romance of life is most splendid. but just because it is that, and because the issues of that hour are so far-reaching, what could be more seemly than that they should pause for a moment on the threshold and ask the giver of all love to bless and guide them! to kneel first together before him, and then to pass on--to acknowledge his goodness as the author of love, and then to go up on to love's high places, what could be more just to the real facts! i know not with what solemnities those who do _not_ believe in god are going to dignify that hour in life, but to all young men and women who _do_ believe in god, i would like to say with all possible urgency: be sure you do not take that great step until you can ask god's blessing on the taking of it. be sure you pause a while to be quiet before him ere you allow your love to have its final sway over you. note.--it will be said at once at this point by some, "that means the law is wrong in allowing the remarriage of divorced persons, because in that case there is a definite contradiction between the legal and the christian standards." i have deliberately excluded a discussion of the problem of divorce from this book because i am concerned with the unalterable truths about sex rather than with the social question of how best unhappy situations arising from sin can be remedied. but at this point i must say a word. i conceive the christian position to be "marriage cannot be broken without sin." and that position the law endorses. it requires proof that in fact a marriage has been broken by sin, before it will sever the legal bonds. i cannot, however, believe it to be a christian interest to maintain the mock appearance of a marriage when (if ever) all moral content has disappeared from it. christianity calls for an unlimited forgiveness. but when forgiveness and patience have failed and either husband or wife has found another connection or has even ceased to have any vital relation to his or her partner in marriage, then i feel that that marriage is morally dead. and dead things should be buried if possible. there remains the question of remarriage. if the law allows this and if christianity says "there is a higher way to which god calls you," i do not think there is here an indefensible contradiction. it is a case of a higher and a lower way. the law says "i will not compel you to remain unmarried." christianity says "i will not compel you at all, but i call you in love's name." that is exactly the situation we must accept in connection with many of christ's precepts. giving alms. loving enemies. refusing to judge. refusing to swear, etc., etc. these are all clear christian duties. but law cannot deal with them. all this seems to me quite plain. in common honesty, however, i must confess that it is not clear to me that the spirit of christ does forbid the remarriage of a divorced person in all cases. christian marriage always has love in it. it is not always there in actual marriage. we must think the whole matter out afresh in terms of love before we can understand the christian way. some things the world calls marriages are not really marriages at all to the christian mind. chapter vi a man's struggle a great many men are secretly ashamed of the very fact that they have to struggle with temptation in the matter of purity. in an inner chamber of their lives they contend with impure thoughts and impure suggestions, but they try to keep the doors of that chamber shut, and would blush if others knew what goes on there. yet all healthy and normal men are so tempted. those who seem to have escaped have generally taken the course of repressing the whole sexual side of their natures, and of shutting their eyes to the sexual facts of life, which is not a wise course. and so, firstly, in view of the task of facing temptation it would be well for us all to realize that temptation itself is not sin. we may expose ourselves to quite unnecessary temptation. we may play with fire. we may be fools, if we will. but some element of temptation is part of our normal lot in life, and we need not blush about it. to the average young man it can truly be said, "there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man." in this respect we are all brothers in arms, and i believe the first step towards victory lies in an honest facing of the fact. let us admit that we are tempted and get openly to the business of understanding how temptation can be conquered. let me attempt first of all to clear away certain mischievous delusions about the subject. it is actually believed in many quarters, and half believed in many more, that continence is bad for a man. it is only "natural," men often say, for an adult man to satisfy his desires, and if he does not he suffers in health. it is a point on which we must let the doctors speak, even although plenty of individual men could testify from experience that the idea is nonsense. and what do the doctors say! sir dyce ductworth, sir james paget, sir andrew clark, sir clifford allbutt, and scores of others have all expressed themselves with the clearest emphasis. sir james paget, for instance, says, "chastity or purity of life does no harm to mind or body. its discipline is excellent. marriage can safely be waited for." further, in the noble little book on "sex" by thomson and geddes, i find this sentence: "féré, a leading authority on sex pathology and hygiene, denies categorically that a man is ever hurt by continence, and affirms that he is always the stronger." what probably is true is that if a man lives in thought an impure life, and submits himself to exciting suggestions and imaginations, the secretions of his body will be increased, so that he may become subject to very severe strain. and that, if continued, may work nervous damage. but this only means that a continent life requires thought and proper direction. there _need be_ no evil effects from continence. we must be quite clear about this point, for so long as we toy in mind with the suggestion that there is any natural necessity for incontinence, we are fatally weakened for our struggle. it is a man's glory to be master of himself, and to maintain his virginity through the years before marriage. and he may quite well achieve it, if he will but go the right way about it. no doubt the struggle is much harder for some than for others. no doubt there are reasons in plenty for charity to those who fail. but there is no real reason why any man should not hope and expect to succeed, and a right expectation is the very foundation of success. then, secondly, a man would do well to realize one simple physiological truth about his body. that body naturally and regularly secretes semen. but it is not necessary that that semen should be discharged by sexual activity. on the contrary, a large part of it can be reabsorbed by the body and used up in mental and physical activities to the great benefit of the body and the enrichment of life. that is why the ancients taught that diana is the natural born enemy of venus. the man who takes plenty of regular exercise employs his vital forces in a way that lessens the strain of his moral conflict. and though it is true that this re-absorption of semen does not completely remove it, nature has her own method during sleep of readjusting things in a quite harmless way. from this it follows of course that the real secret of a successful struggle for purity lies in living a life full of wholesome and varied activities. our artistic sensibilities are intimately related to our sexual natures, and by some self-expression through art, or by the sympathetic appreciation of the art of others, we provide an enriching outlet for our natural energies. social activities and wholesome social intercourse, too, are of the very greatest importance. the sedentary and lonely life is often found quite fatal, and a life in which only male companionships are available is very undesirable. indeed it may truly be said that the best way of avoiding undesirable relations with women lies in the cultivation of right and happy relations with them. i suppose more men have been brought through this difficult period owing to the fact that association with women of refined natures made the thought of sexual irregularity seem repulsive, than by any other single force. but at all costs let us be sure that we live full lives. i heard lately of a man who was so constantly assailed by sexual cravings, and so convinced that in him they were abnormally strong, that he went to consult a psychotherapist. when he had been fully examined it was found that in him sexual cravings were really rather weaker than in the average man, but that in the house of his life they had no rivals, so that he imagined them to be almost all-powerful. it is when a man allows himself to sit in idleness and indoors that the fumes of lust are apt to rise up and make the windows dim, till in that stuffy air he lives evilly at least in thought, and is weakened for the problem of defense. but the man who will get out into the bracing open air of life will find his noxious fancies blown away and his mind restored to health. then, thirdly, there are certain fairly obvious points in relation to the right management of the body about which doctors are agreed. they really amount in general to the suggestion that we should live a simple and bracing life, and keep brother body in his proper place of subjection all round. keep your body clean, and do not funk your cold bath in the morning. avoid luxurious foods, and overeating of any sort. get up when you wake up in the morning, and avoid lying in bed half awake. take plenty of fresh air and exercise every day. and finally, and at all costs, keep absolutely sober. probably the last of these pieces of advice is by far the most important. it is the unvarnished truth that the vast majority of men who have gone wrong did so for the first time, not when they were drunk, but when liquor had made them reckless and forgetful. the plain truth about alcohol is that it has a twofold effect upon the human constitution. on the one hand it heightens desire, and on the other it lowers self-control. it is that fatal combination that has been the undoing of many a man. on one night of folly men have thrown away that which they may have guarded jealously for years, and not because they were vicious or gross in nature, but only because they allowed the edge to go off their sobriety. often by the next night they would have given almost anything to be able to live that bit of life over again and live it differently. but it was too late. i know of no argument for temperance that has anything like the weight of this one. then, too, a word must be said about the broad jest and the undesirable story. many a broad jest is excused because it has in it some savor of real humor; but it would be well for us to ask ourselves deliberately what things we are going to allow ourselves to laugh at. we all laugh at some of the ways of lovers and no doubt we always will. they have beautiful ways, but beyond question some of them are amusing. there is no possible reaction to a girl's persuasion that her boy is pure hero and saint except a smile; and love itself will blend with such smiles. but it is quite a different thing to bring laughter to bear on love itself, or on marriage, or on the sacramental intimacies that express love. i believe it is a profane thing to do. our best instincts call on us to treat these things as sacred. and sacred things are easily spoiled by careless speech. no vulgarities are quite so vulgar as those which, in printed rags and ragged talk, are clustered round marriage. in the name of all that is beautiful and holy let us be done with them. further still, a great many broad stories have in them a minimum of humor and a maximum of dirt. by a strange perversity men who are scrupulously clean in body and who have both intellectual and artistic capacities will stoop to defile their tongues with such things. there are few colleges or offices where public opinion entirely forbids them. but they do a deadly work none the less. they cling about the mind with fatal tenacity. they surround the subject of sex with unclean associations. they defile the inner house of life. and it is in that inner house of thought and imagination that the real battle of purity is fought. our real task in this part of life is to see sex as a clean and beautiful thing, to be treated with reverence. thousands of people never achieve this, even though they live respectable and decent lives. and the reason lies in the fact that in their early days vile stories and jokes defiled the whole subject for them. a similar thing is true of pictures. some day we shall as a race recover the sense that the form of a woman is one of the most beautiful things in all god's earth. we shall look at the great statues and pictures which do justice to that beauty with no other feelings than thankfulness and joy. but there are very few men who can do that today. what has made it impossible is the existence of pictures of a suggestive kind, which are handed round in furtive ways, and are literally drenched with unclean associations. for which reason it is a real point in connection with a man's struggle that he should have nothing to do with suggestive pictures. many years ago i had a friend with great intellectual power. he held a position of great responsibility and was widely respected. he also had conspicuous literary gifts, and knew how to work hard and well. but he brought to me the greatest shock i have ever had in my life. when he was well on in the forties he suddenly fell with a crash, and had to fly the country. he was never able to show his face in england again, and died a diseased exile in a foreign land. and all because he had been overtaken by sexual sin of an indescribably shameful kind. the shock he gave me was one of sorrow, for he had been a friend. but it was still more one of amazement that such a thing could have happened to such a man. later i came to understand. when his effects were being sold there was found in his study cupboard a great pile of indecent french plays and novels. that was what did it. in secret he had for years debauched his mind, and inevitably in the end his thoughts brought forth fruit. that experience taught me once for all how certain it is that the inner world of thoughts is the real place where a man attains or misses purity. there is something grim and stern about this business. i confess to a certain wholesome fear in connection with it which i hope never to lose; though fear will never do as our predominating emotion in this respect. but i keep a place for fear--enough of it to drive me to my knees. i have seen boys go wrong at fifteen, and i have seen old men go wrong at sixty. i believe that no man is safe until he is dead. he was no coward, nor had he a licentious past behind him, who confessed that late on in life he had to beat his body and bring it into subjection lest having preached to others he should be a castaway. he knew; and was honest and wise enough to keep up precautions to the end. there is simply no way through this part of life for the man with slack habits and a self-indulgent attitude of spirit. the man who will not stand up and brace himself, who is not game for a fight, and will not endure hardness is never going to make anything fine out of the splendid but difficult enterprise we call human life. and all the time he will need to have his sentinels out. all the time he will need to make sure that he is master in his own house of life, and allows no interloping thoughts or imaginations to run riot there. but what about religion! the conventional way in which to end a plain talk about any sort of temptation is to say that god can and will help a man in those straits where his own will is too weak, and that through prayer there is a way of escape for us all. i believe all that absolutely. with great gratitude i may say that i know it. indeed i cannot understand how any man who has been saved from overthrow can fail to see as he looks back on his life that it was just the goodness of god that upheld him. but i have learnt to beware how i tell men and women that by prayer they can get through, though all other means fail. men who were having to face a severe strain of temptation have come back to me and told me that they had tried the way of prayer and that it had not availed them. the fact is that something far greater than a mere attempt to use prayer as a special device for this special need is required. we are so made that religion is a divine possibility for all of us. indeed it is more than a possibility: it is a necessity if life is ever to seem complete. without it all other things fail in the end to hold off attacks of disappointment and ennui. because we were made with the capacity for it, we cannot be content without it. it may take many years for a man to discover that without religion life is going to be a failure; and it is that discovery that constitutes for many the tragedy of middle life. in early days the varied interests of life carry many through in some sort of satisfaction. and yet even with the young the life that is without religion is of necessity an unbalanced life. parts of the man or woman concerned are inactive, and the other parts occupy too much of the stage. till an interest in god--that greatest of all interests--has entered a man's life attention is too much concerned with other things. till the spirit is awake the body obtrudes itself too much on consciousness. and thus a man fights the battle of purity on wrong terms. there is no interest so cleansing as an interest in god. nothing so takes a man out of himself as the attempt to face his demands. nothing is so certain to counterbalance all unruly thoughts as to know and worship him. no discipline is so bracing and purifying as the discipline of seeking him. but this seeking of god means something much greater than the mere attempt to use prayer for a special purpose. it means getting our whole life rightly related to him. it means subordinating our desires to his will, and seeing our whole life as something to be used for his glory. religion cannot be made a mere appendage to life. it cannot be kept in an outhouse like a motor bike, to be used when occasion calls. when god comes into a life he comes to rule--and to rule everything. no doubt we are all tempted to resent the surrender of self which is thus asked of us. instinctively we cry out for our own way. we want to manage our own lives and to plan out our futures in such ways as will please us. because religion involves discipline and obedience, we are all apt to turn away from it. we may have liked some of the emotions which are associated with worship, and inspired by religious thoughts. but we want to call no one master--not even god. so long as that state lasts no one will find religion a help in the battle with temptation. if we faced the truth about ourselves many of us would find that what we really want is to be allowed to live rather worldly and selfish lives and then to be able to bring god in on occasion to save us from certain particular sins which we loathe. but that cannot be. in other words, the way of escape is to get one's whole life and one's whole nature rightly related to god. that means the profoundest of all possible readjustments, because it means that instead of putting himself in the center of every picture, a man puts god there. and when that readjustment has been completed the power of temptation is gone. i would not now say to a man merely that if he will pray he will get the help he needs. i would say that if he is willing for a real spiritual experience he may pass into a new state of being, in which he will fight with success where he used to fail. religion _will_ do all things for you if you give your whole self to it, but it will not fit into life as an occasional resource. let no one suppose, however, that consciousness of god has no relation to the sexual side of life. far from it. what the man who submits to god will find is, firstly, that he is helped to clean and reverent living, and to mastery over his body. but he will also find that when at last real love calls him up into complete companionship of body and soul with a woman he loves, god himself will enter into that life and become associated with all the emotions and activities which spring from the sex element in our beings. such men will come to thank god that he made them with sexual powers in their natures. they will thank him that passion is a fact. they will say with utter conviction that love with all it means both for the bodily and the spiritual life is the greatest of all god's gifts to man. only to have experience of that quality a man _must_ come to marriage undefiled. that is the fact that makes the struggle worth while. that is what browning meant when he said it was "worth that a man should strive and agonize and taste a veriest hell on earth for the hope of such a prize." god does not call us men to a meaningless struggle. the fierceness of temptation is _not_ mere cruelty. the prizes in this part of life are great beyond all telling. if any man who reads these pages will but brace himself for the struggle and put forth all his manhood in order to win through, the day will come when he and a woman who is dear to him will thank god that he did fight, and will understand that it was abundantly worth while. she is waiting for you out there in the future. she hopes and prays that when you do find her, you will be such a man as can be honored and truly loved. she probably keeps herself for you, even though you have not yet met her, with some delicate and shy reserve. you will never really be worthy of all that she will give you, but you may at least prepare for her and yourself a great and holy experience. to know the full beauty of the thing that married life may be is nearly if not quite the greatest of human attainments. to spoil it beforehand is the most pitiful of all pities. wherefore get up and fight! addendum, especially for young men struggling with self-abuse it is in this form that sexual temptation comes into the lives of a very great many men, including many able, high-minded men. all the general things already said in this chapter are relevant to your case, but i wish to add some direct words to you because i have acute sympathy with you in your trial. you ought, of course, to have been warned when you were very young, and then you might have escaped the danger. possibly you slipped into the habit without at first realizing that it was wrong; and probably now you hate the habit, and even sometimes hate yourselves because of it. it is quite likely, too, that false and exaggerated things have been said to you about it and made you miserably afraid. now it _is_ a bad habit. it is bad because you feel it to be unworthy and rather unclean, and it creates unhappy associations in your mind in connection with sex, which is a very unfortunate thing for you. and it is a perversion. it is an unnatural way of satisfying sexual craving, and, as you know, it leaves psychic disturbance behind it. the one perfect way of satisfying sexual desire is complete union with a woman you truly and honorably love. that leaves behind it a feeling of complete satisfaction and rest. all other ways leave psychic disturbance. further, this habit often leads to active homosexuality. i hear of men who talk as if homosexuality was quite a normal and right thing with men of a certain type. it is, in fact, _always_ a regression (see quotation from dr. crichton miller in chapter for girls, p. ). do get that fixed in your mind. it is an abnormal, unnatural thing which has definite and evil nervous results. but let me get back to the problem of self-abuse. the student christian movement lately collected from a number of doctors, psychologists, and other experienced people, a body of valuable truths and suggestions about this matter, and i cannot do better than pass them on to you. _firstly_, what are the facts about its consequences? these have been exaggerated. its effects are chiefly psychical. it does not affect the intelligence or weaken mental power. it takes long to weaken the body, and it is rarely, if ever, a cause of insanity. on the other hand, it does destroy self-respect; it does leave men psychically disturbed, and for that reason it affects consciousness of the presence of god disproportionately quickly as compared with other sins, and produces the feeling of loss of spiritual power. there are, in fact, abundant reasons for desiring deliverance, though there is no reason for panic. as has been said again and again in this book, our sexual nature is a gift from god, with glorious possibilities in it of enriching experience. that is why it is so very important not to misuse it. now if you really want deliverance, you have first to realize that the seat of the trouble and of the cure is in the mind. (occasionally there is a slight abnormality that requires surgical treatment, but that is exceptional.) the content of the mind in ordinary times is even more important than at the crisis. it may be too late then. you must prepare the ground by resting on god even when you do not feel the need of him. fill your mind with clean, healthy things, and expel lustful thoughts, even though they may seem to have no special physical effects. give full play to your affections--love of family, of friends, of men and women, and children. devote your bodily strength, and the life force that is in you, to great positive ends--the service of god and man. keep healthy. here are wise practical details. take plenty of exercise, but not too much. men often fail when tired out. avoid heavy meals-- especially late at night. take cold baths daily. do not lie in bed after waking. avoid quacks like the plague. beware of the reactions that follow emotional excitement. work off your emotions in positive ways. emotionalism has danger in it. learn to pray for the right thing, not for deliverance, but for strength for victory. learn to trust god in all things--in this among others. if you want to prevent the thing from obsessing you, you must not let your failures obsess you. turn your back on them. the only way to drive out one thought is to put another in. an attempt merely to shut down is doomed to failure. concentrate on active life and service. the truth is, you cannot have the help of christ just for the cure of this evil. give yourself wholly to him, and you will find he has set you free. you cannot bring religion in just for a part of life. if your whole life is in god's hands this trouble will disappear. _lastly_, a word to the man who is down and out. god is strong enough and near enough for this never to happen again if you will let him have the whole of you--not body only, but mind and heart and life. but if you do fail again, do not despair, do not blame god, and do not say or think that he has finished with you. god's love is such that he will never turn from you if you turn to him. god is no farther from the failures than from the successful. he cares as much for those who fail. the real and ultimate danger of this thing is not danger to your mind and body, but the danger that it may come between you and god. wherefore come back to god every time. remember, whatever the past has held, there are still great possibilities of happiness and victory before you through the power of god. others are in as great difficulties, and others who were in them have won through to victory. there is reason for hope. we are not meant always to stand alone. two are more than twice as strong as one. perhaps you should share your difficulty. only do not make it an excuse for getting mawkish sympathy. chapter vii prostitution (_a chapter for men_) there are some things so unthinkable that they only continue because people refuse to think of them. sweating and slums are two such things, but the supreme example in the modern world is prostitution. it is not the prostitute who is unthinkable. she is only the tragic figure in the center of a devil's drama. it is society's attitude to her that is unthinkable. by men she is used for their pleasure and then despised and scorned. by women she is held an outcast, and yet she is the main buttress of the immunity of ordinary women from danger and temptation. she is the creation of men who traffic in lust and yet is held shameless by her patrons. she is the product of the social sins for which we are all responsible, and yet is considered the most sinful of us all. often she was beguiled into her first mistake by the pretence of love, and because to that pretence she made a natural and sincere response. sometimes she was cajoled into her mistake by older fiends in the shape of women. sometimes she suffered physical violence at the hands of male fiends. often she plunged into sin in desperation because in the modern world she could not get a living wage in return for honest work. sometimes she made a wild, reckless dash towards excitement because she could no longer endure the stifling, drab, and hideous monotony coupled with privation which we allow to become the lot of millions. to her men show only their worst side, and women generally their hardest. if she often regards both alike as devils, who shall blame her! those who share her sin leave her to face alone the suffering that follows. for them society has a place even when their habits are known. for her it has no place except a shameful one. of real love, of motherhood, or of family life she may know nothing. even of normal human relations she remains often ignorant. he in whom we profess to have seen god was ready to forgive and willing to love such women. we hold it wrong to forgive and impossible to love. for a few short years in early youth she may have money in plenty, and then slowly she begins to sink. her health becomes sapped. often loathsome disease makes her a victim. as the shadows begin to gather she will often turn to drink that for an hour she may recover the delusion of well-being. slowly but certainly the morass drags her down. often she does not reach thirty. if she lives it is to face a state in which, toothless, wrinkled, and obscene, she is seen only by those who visit the murkiest parts of our cities. she dies unmoored and unloved, and is hurried into an unknown grave. and she exists because men say they _must_ indulge their passions and women believe it. she is the incarnation not of her own but of society's shame. she is the scapegoat for thousands who live on in careless comfort. every man who touches her pushes her farther down, and our hollow pretence of social morality is built upon her quivering body. will you men who read this please think about her! think till you are horrified, disgusted, and ashamed. think till you realize this unthinkable thing. and then remember that she exists only because of us. we as a sex have created this infamy. we as a sex still continue to condone it. and there is only one cure for it. it is that we should stop uttering or believing the lie that we must indulge our passions and should act upon the truth that continence outside marriage is perfectly possible, and that we owe it to women, to ourselves, and to god to achieve it. chapter viii a girl's early days by early days i mean the years between sixteen and twenty-one or thereabouts, and i am sure there ought to be a chapter in this book on this subject, though i am not at all sure that i can write it. i only make the attempt because i have been urged to try, and because a book that did not recognize how distressing the "emotional muddles" of this period often are, would be a very unsympathetic production. most men very quickly become clearly conscious of desires springing from their sexual natures, but most girls only do so very slowly. what a girl is conscious of at this period is a new stress of emotion. she finds herself easily elated and easily depressed. she has moods she cannot understand or manage, and vague yearnings after she knows not what. sometimes she will give way to outbreaks of temper, and afterwards feel acutely ashamed. other people say of her that she is "difficult" or wayward, or trying; and she knows it herself better than any of them. sometimes she is irritable. sometimes she will hear herself saying things she never meant to say, and will wonder afterwards why she did it. in society she often feels shy, awkward, and self-conscious, and then will hate herself for being like that. she may try an assumed boldness of manner to hide her shyness, and yet that plan is not a great success. she has longings for the society of others, and then having found social intercourse difficult, is tempted to withdraw into herself. she is very easily wounded in her affections, and often suffers from the effect of little slights of which the authors are quite unconscious. on some days she will feel that the world is a wonderful and splendid place, and life a glorious delight. and then on others life will seem mysterious and puzzling, and the world cruel and hard. she understands with painful clearness what robert louis stevenson meant when he talked about "the coiled perplexities of youth." it is during these years that girls wake up to the attraction of men, and yet they find that relations with men are difficult things to manage. the conventions of society often seem quite senseless, and yet the policy of defying them does not turn out well. and so, as i have said, this is a difficult period for many girls. it is true that many get through it very happily. they may have good health, happy homes, plenty of good friends, and many interests. for them it is a time of adventure, romance, and vivid joy. they correspond to the common conception of the fresh, happy, charming girl. but many others do not get through happily at all, and it is because their case is common that this chapter is called for. i have already said as strongly as i can that it is of enormous importance for girls to know the facts of life, and to get to know them from some clean and natural source. by the beginning of this period they ought to have been told about the wonderful and beautiful ways in which god has ordained that new human lives should be produced, and therefore they ought to be in a position to understand themselves. and if girls are not possessed of this knowledge i can only say that the sooner they take steps to acquire it in a wholesome way the better for themselves. only take care to whom you turn. let it be a woman of a reverent and wise mind with a large and wholesome nature. there are others. those who do come to understand themselves in this way will realize that the cause of their emotional complications is partly physical and partly psychological. both body and mind are awakening, with the inevitable result that new instincts, emotions, and desires have to be reckoned with. that is a universal experience for all of both sexes, and is just the price of entering on a larger world. life _is_ much more complex and mysterious than we at first imagined. it may be much more varied and splendid than we at first supposed. and therefore inevitably it is also more difficult and more confusing. but it does really help us to realize that our early complex troubles have a natural and normal cause and that they are related to great possible gains. at this point in life, further, the instinct for independence becomes often exceedingly strong. all the conventions of society and the received rules for conduct are apt to appear mere tyrannous annoyances, cramping the free expression of personality. society itself seems rather like a monster threatening to absorb and confine us. to be compelled to consider others, and even to bow to authority, is to many very bitter. "i will at all costs be myself" is the natural cry of a human being at this stage, and because the world makes it difficult to carry out that resolve life has a strain in it. yet here also there is something good. if each generation in turn did not thus demand freedom and self-expression the world would drift into senile decay. we cannot be independent of society. we cannot have an untrammeled freedom. and we all learn that sooner or later. but because the urge towards newness of life does reappear with every generation we do move on, though slowly. and if the price of this pulse of life in adolescents is restlessness, irritation, and even occasional depression the gain is worth the price. for girls the process is often specially difficult. the task that confronts a girl at this stage is the task of accepting herself "as a woman." i know it is not an easy task or so many girls would not be heard saying that they would rather have been boys. no doubt one reason why girls feel this is that often their parents, and especially their mothers, have shown a preference for the boys in the family and have accorded to them a favored position. the psychologists report that an "inferiority complex" has thus been formed in many a girl's mind. and thus a very real wrong is done to them. and yet this is not the whole explanation of the matter. in many girls there is a rebellion against their sex. many hate the physical signs of their developing natures. it seems to them they are being called to a part in life which they have no wish to play. and if particular emotional stresses accompany that development, that may seem to them only one further reason for being annoyed at the nature of things. i am sure too that the conventional notions of what a woman should be must often prove very annoying, if not enraging. many men still cherish the idea of woman as a sort of household ornament--gentle and "sweet". many have not accommodated themselves to the notion that a woman should know the blunt facts about this hard life and this disordered world. society often seems to expect of a woman that she should be submissive, patient, and merely gentle. and of course nature has ordained that many women should be strong, stimulating, and militant in spirit. of a really great woman it was said to me the other day that she is really more like a flame than a "cow". but the "cow" idea holds the field in many places. well! happy those who have a sense of humor and can laugh when society is very foolish. i dare not enter farther on a discussion of what it means for a girl to accept herself "as a woman". in that matter men seem always to flounder into folly. even women are not yet agreed about it. perhaps it is one of the things that is only gradually being discovered at this particular stage of human experience. i am indeed sure that we do not yet know all that women are meant to be and are capable of doing for the world. and that being so i can see that the difficulties which lie about the path of life for women to-day are peculiarly trying. it may be a real privilege to be a woman during this particular period of discovery and experiment. but it cannot but be also rather a strain. the one thing that i can with certainty say is that a woman is called to be like christ--like him in his meekness which was the outcome of perfect selflessness and self-mastery--in his gentleness which was the product of sensitive love--but like him also in his strength, his boldness, his resolute refusal to bend before evil, his positive activities in the name of love. one particular feature in a woman's impulse towards independence i cannot pass by without a special word. the very suggestion annoys some women that they are not complete in themselves without any relation to the other sex. being without any conscious desire for the companionship of man, and without any definite sex consciousness, they resent the idea that woman is not complete in herself. to those who insist that the sexes vitally need each other such women would reply that they are altogether exaggerating and over-emphasizing the sex element in life. well, about the fact that man is not complete without woman i have no doubt whatever. and i have no reluctance whatever about admitting it. perhaps that fact gives me no right to dogmatize about the other sex, but a considerable experience has left me in no doubt about the matter. i do not mean for a moment that a great and useful career is not possible to women quite apart from marriage. i do not forget that many women have great powers of intellect in the exercise of which they are living in a world apart from sex difference. but i believe it to be a serious mistake for either man or woman to imagine that they have no clamant sex instinct hidden within the depths of their personalities. and if the instinct is there it can only be folly to try to obscure the fact. it has to be reckoned with if life is to succeed. in many women it only awakens after early youth is past. the exceptions in whom it never awakens must be very few indeed. if the attempt has been made to ignore it the subsequent troubles are apt to be only the more intense. in this matter we are confronted with an unalterable decree of nature. to rebel against it is only to be broken in the long run. in various and great ways the instinct may be turned to splendid uses other than the usual ones of marriage and motherhood. but the instinct is there, and if wisdom means understanding ourselves and handling ourselves bravely, then it _must_ be reckoned with. to quarrel with the nature of things is mere folly. another special feature of the period in a girl's life i am thinking of is a tendency to intense and passionate affections for other women--a tendency to idealize some other woman till she seems the center of life and adorable beyond words. a very real danger lurks here, and yet i would like to speak with great care about the matter, because a true friendship is always one of the finest and most enriching things in life, while a _grande passion_ for another member of one's own sex is a different thing with an undesirable element in it. in girls about thirteen or thereabouts _grandes passions_ for other girls or for school-mistresses are very common, and so far from being harmful they may serve a very useful purpose. they generally pass away pretty quickly, and unless the older woman has been unwise they leave no bad effects behind them. but among older girls they are a very different thing and often lead to serious trouble and unhappiness. what has happened in such cases is that an instinct which is designed to produce love for one of the opposite sex has been perverted to add an element of passion to what should have been merely a healthy friendship for another woman. and the result is an unhealthy type of relationship. it is unhealthy because, to begin with, in this way girls let themselves go and allow their emotions to run away with them; and that just at a time when it is most important that they should have themselves in firm control. and further, when members of the same sex employ lovers' language, and indulge in the imitation of lovers' endearments, there is something sickly about the whole business which healthy instinct condemns. i do not mean, of course, that when girls link arms or even embrace each other in moments of excitement there is anything mistaken. to some people such expressions of emotion are as natural as breathing. but _grandes passions_ lead to much more than that sort of thing, and so become a serious evil. it is in connection with this problem that psychologists have brought into use the rather ugly word "homosexuality", though it means nothing more dreadful than this tendency to put a member of one's own sex into the place that should be occupied by a member of the other sex. but i find a certain amount of talk going on which assumes that some people are of the homosexual type, and that it is natural and right for them to express themselves in this way. as a matter of fact homosexuality _is always a sexual perversion_ and is fraught with great danger of nervous disorder. dr. crichton miller says in _the new psychology and the teacher_: "from the point of view of psychological development homosexuality in the adult is a regression.... clinical experience confirms the view that in the long run the man or the woman of the intermediate type is bound to pay the price of regression in one way or another" (p. ). of course the essential defect of these passionate attachments between two women is that they can never fully satisfy. they cannot give a woman children, and they leave the mother heart in her starved. for this reason it is a primary obligation on each of the two to resolve that so soon as a man enters the life of the other she will at all costs make room for him, the cost of this may be very great, but love that is at all worthy of the name will not another from a path that might lead to marriage has misunderstood the very meaning of love. women have repeatedly told me that the passionate relationships i am speaking of lead to grave unhappiness. they almost never last, and the one who breaks away may cause acute suffering to the other; while an attempt to continue them after the life has gone out of them results in a very poor and pitiful relationship. and yet all this leaves still open the question of how they are to be dealt with in actual life. one thing worth saying is--be warned in time, and do not let them grow. when they threaten they can be turned into true friendships by girls who understand, and true friendship is always a bracing and strengthening thing. but i would not for a moment suggest that a "g. p." should be ruthlessly broken. that would often be a cruel thing to do which might cause great and even permanent damage to a sensitive nature. but if both who are involved in the matter will face the truth about it, they may succeed in passing on into a natural and healthy friendship which may be invaluable to both and a gain to society. if it be asked wherein lies the essential difference between a g. p. and a friendship i think answer has been given in the words: "friendship is an other-regarding emotion and proves itself to be an uplifting force, while a g. p. is self-regarding, and consequently generally is socially exclusive and therefore harmful." a g. p. generally involves a desire to have somebody else all to yourself. that is the sign of the unnatural sex element in it. but a friendship leads to happy co- operation between two people in the work and recreation of the world. one of the tests of universal application in this realm of life lies in the fact that real love always wants to give, and that the attitude of wanting greedily to get is not true love. many and many an unhappy girl who frets and torments herself because she does not get all she wants from some other woman would find the world and life transformed if she would but wake up to the fact that in her bit of the world there are other people who need the love she might give them. she would thus find a noble outlet for her emotions, become a boon to other people, and in the process discover her own happiness--possibly to her own surprise. i know very well what is likely to happen to some girls who read these words and who are involved in a passionately affectionate attachment. i can almost hear one such saying, "of course i see that these things ought to be said, and that some girls are very silly about their friendships, and it only makes me the more thankful that in my case everything is so natural, and right, and good." we are all like that! we are extraordinarily slow to recognize in our own lives the evils and dangers which we can see so clearly in the lives of others. and so i would like to make a direct appeal to all girls, and to all men too, who are involved in these relationships. do face the facts openly! do look ahead! do ask yourselves what you are going to do about these affairs as time goes on! you must know they cannot last in their present form. you would be right if you even said that they to last. you may drift along, always postponing any definite action, and just enjoying the present while it lasts. but that is exactly the way in which calamity is allowed to enter people's lives. and you and she, or you and he, might forthwith face the unalterable facts i have been referring to, and take all danger by the throat and throttle it. you might do that _now_. that is to say, you and your dear friend might agree that you will at once get the passionate element out of your relationship, and forego the pleasure you have in that respect. you might begin now to learn true friendship, and get rid of what is really a sickly thing. it might hurt--it probably would at first. but none of us human beings need be the mere creatures of our feelings. our true and lasting happiness always depends upon refusing any such slavery. if you do achieve a wholesome and true friendship it may enrich your whole future life. if you let things go on as they are you will have a very unpleasant memory to humiliate you. i feel sure that certain general counsels apply with special force to this part of life, and in particular the one which bids us all live busy and positive lives. brooding is not a wholesome occupation for anybody at any time, but, on the other hand, through hours of active effort emotion finds an outlet and our natures are restored to peace. introspection is to many people an actual luxury, but like other luxuries it enervates. reveling in their own emotions is a favorite hobby with quite a lot of people, but for all that it is a very bad one. there really should be no time for it. our emotions are all needed as driving forces for the times of action. in particular the cultivation of a sense of beauty in art is one of the normal outlets for emotion, and even for sex emotion. some happy people can themselves make music, and so express themselves. most of us find that common kindness suggests that we should restrict our efforts in that direction to times when we are alone. but if we cannot play we can at least learn the art of good listening. and if we are not musical at all we can perhaps appreciate true painting, or great poetry, or fine literature. it all helps. may i say a plain word or two about the shyness and self-consciousness in society which so torment young girls? the first thing i would say is that they will almost certainly pass away before long, and that therefore they need not be bothered about. lots of the most effective and socially successful men and women in the world went through a painful period of shyness in early youth, and now only smile at the memory of those days. in so far as that self-consciousness is produced by society of any sort, it is based upon the delusion that other people look at us and think about us a great deal more than they do. it is also due to a habit of minding what other people think and say a great deal more than the facts warrant. we are not so important as to attract much general notice, and other people are not so important that on account of their prejudices and conventions we should distress ourselves. but in so far as discomfort in society is due to the presence there of members of the opposite sex, there is something different to be said. the whole contention of this book is that the attraction which exists between the sexes is a right and wholesome thing, and that the way of wisdom is to accept the fact of it quite simply. when that is done it is found possible to let that mutual attraction issue in friendship and camaraderie of a kind that enriches and dignifies life. of course all this is much easier for girls who have been brought up with boys. they learn to be at home with the other sex, not to be fussy and foolish, and not to trade upon their sex. but that sort of relationship to men is also quite possible even for those who were not brought up with boys, and in the attaining to it girls find their real peace of mind. i would also like to put down here some thoughts about beautiful girls. a beautiful girl always makes me want to do two things. one is to thank god for making so lovely a thing, and the other is to say a prayer that she may have special help given her for her specially difficult lot. for beauty is both a very great gift and a very hard thing to handle. some of you must know that you are beautiful, and you are sure to find the fact exciting, delightful, and yet embarrassing. you have great powers--powers over other women and over children in part--and very great powers over men. you can, if you will, use that power to induce men to make fools of themselves. you can let yourselves slip into the habit of living on admiration and feeding on the pleasure it gives you. you can exploit your beauty to win through it things you do not really deserve. people will forgive much to a beautiful woman, and you can trade on that fact. you can get a great deal of your own way if you master the art of being charming as well as beautiful; and you can in that way use your beauty to your own undoing, and make it partly a curse to others. in fact you are certain to have to face many temptations which the majority of women escape. that is the hard part of your lot. all who understand know quite well that life cannot but be more complicated for you than for most, and you have a very great claim on their sympathy. but the way to avoid your dangers is not to pretend to yourself that you are not beautiful. pretence never helps us. the way is to face the fact of your beauty, realize that you did not create it, and therefore need not be vain about it, and then go on to decide what use you are going to make of the power it gives you. it can be used for god--otherwise he would not have given it. it can be turned into influence of a very wonderful kind. if you can induce men to make fools of themselves, you can also draw out all that is best in them, and inspire them for fine living. in plain english, when a beautiful woman is also a good woman she is one of the greatest boons to mankind. she can give great pleasure to others--but she can do more, she can stir the latent idealism in men and women in wonderful ways. she can move through the world as a source of gracious, kindly, and bracing influence. of course, once again, the essential secret is to think of giving and not of getting, to get self into the background and live for love and service--to employ your great gift for the sake of the giver of it. i suspect that it must need a great deal of self-discipline-- perhaps more than a man can understand. i am sure it must need a great deal of prayer. but it has been done, and can be done again. and that leads me naturally to the last thing i want to say in this chapter. i have already said in the chapter specially addressed to men that the great help for the difficult early days of life is to be found in religion. [footnote: cp. p. ff.] and of course that is equally true for girls. religion means having a great and worthy interest at the center of our lives, which gives meaning to the whole of them. being religious means that the essential and eternal part of us is coming into life, and it almost necessarily follows then that the other parts of our personalities slip into their proper places. it means having an object for our affections more than worthy of all our deepest emotions, and more than able to fill our empty hearts. religion in the early days of life is generally very emotional. i believe that that is perfectly right and natural, provided we also make efforts to be sincere and to love the truth. because it is emotional, its value as an outlet for feeling is very great. it does not remain at its first emotional level. later on there comes an inevitable change when many think, quite wrongly, that they are losing their religion. but at the stage i am thinking of religion naturally and normally expresses itself in intense feeling. we are all hero worshippers at that stage of life. hero worshipping, however, is apt to get us into trouble, for our heroes fail us in time. the one perfect hero who never fails us is christ. he alone never disappoints, and to love him is to have all the nobler chords in our beings set in motion. we are sure to despair of ever becoming worthy of him. but no leader of men was ever so willing to take us as we are and make the best of us. to be near him may mean being made to feel deeply ashamed. in his presence we are sure to feel small and mean. but that also is a good thing, and in spite of it he loves us. in other directions we seek with longing to find love, and often fail. with him we may be quite sure of finding love. and he goes on loving to the end. being loved by him does at last draw out the best in us. inevitably we begin to want to be more worthy--to serve and love others for his sake--to know and love the truth--to find and worship beauty. and that means having a life full of splendid and worthy interests. emotional muddles may in fact be the lot of most of us for a while. but if at the center of them all there is an honest love for christ, they cannot overwhelm us; and in the long run we are sure to emerge into the life that has both peace and power in it. chapter ix involuntary celibacy modern england has for many generations been a place so unhealthy for the young that a vast problem has grown up in our midst which seriously disturbs the normal adjustment of sex relationships. it would seem to have been nature's intention that there should be slightly more men than women in the world, for boy babies outnumber girl babies [footnote: the actual figures are boy babies to girl babies.] what it would mean if there were more adult men than women in the world it is hard to imagine. it would at once have enormous social consequences. no woman would remain a celibate except by her own choice. men would have to behave themselves in order to win wives, and would cease to occupy the demoralizing position of being able to get wives whenever they want them. it would in fact mean a new world in many ways. as things are, however, the unhealthy conditions of modern life produce a greater mortality among boy babies than among girl babies, and males come to be in a minority. this state of affairs has been greatly aggravated by the war, but it was serious even before . it was then the case that the women outnumbered the men by about a million. the number must be nearer a million and a half to-day. the result is that over a million women have to face the prospect of a life in which their most deeply implanted instincts--the instincts for wifehood and motherhood--cannot find their normal satisfaction, and the problem thus created is one of the most difficult in the whole of life. it is, of course, nothing less than insulting nonsense to talk about these women as "superfluous women." behind the very phrase there lurks the old delusion that women are only needed in the world as wives and mothers. as a matter of fact a great deal of the work that is most needed in our civilization--work in education, art, literature, nursing, social service, and other departments of life--is being done by these women. but while that is true it is also true that the personal life of the unmarried woman presents acute problems of a most intricate kind. probably only a woman can truly understand those problems or justly estimate their urgency, but no man with any insight or sympathy can fail to know that the lot of the unmarried woman involves secret stresses, unsatisfied yearnings, and sometimes hours of dark depression. she may be unmarried because she has persistently refused to try to be satisfied with any second best. as a witty woman friend of mine once put it, she may be unmarried because "the attainable was not desirable and the desirable was not attainable." she may be unmarried because a very true lover of early days went on before, and she has never felt able to put anyone else in his place. or she may have loved truly some man who loved another. or nothing may ever have happened to awaken conscious love in her, in which case it is still possible that her nature may cry out at times for the satisfaction of its primary needs. and while all this is true, she is conventionally supposed never to show by any sign that she would have liked to be married. however much she may suffer it is held unseemly for her to show that she suffers, or to ask for sympathy. she is often, and i think quite indefensibly, denied by social convention the stimulus of any really intimate friendships with men. she is made the subject of uncounted third-rate jokes. and if, as life goes on, she develops peculiarities of manner or asperities of temper--if she begins to lose vitality and grace, these things are noted with contempt by people who little imagine how much real heroism may lie concealed in the object of their scorn. i believe, however, that i speak for a very large number of men when i confess that nothing kindles in me quite the same flame of resentment at things as they are, as just this fact that so many gracious and kindly women, plainly made for motherhood and fitted for a fine part in life, should find themselves held in the clutches of this insistent problem. it may well help all such to realize the fact stated above, namely, that the problem is no part of the eternal and designed order of things, but one of the results of our social misbehavior. in a very real sense the women who suffer in this matter suffer vicariously for the sins of all society. it is not they who are guilty, but all mankind. for all who mean resolutely to face the problem and to win through to victory, it is first of all essential that they should realize the fact that their acute depressions and their restlessness of mind have really a quite well-defined physical and psychological cause. somewhere between twenty-five and thirty-five these depressions often become very acute, so that the whole horizon of life is darkened. sensitive women often torment themselves by wondering what they have done that is wrong, for of course all depression is apt to take the form of a sense of wrongdoing. further, at this period the religious sensibilities of many seem to suffer eclipse. they can no longer respond in feeling to any of the sublime religious truths. they find they cannot pray. nothing seems to matter. the memory of earlier days when life seemed bright and religious faith was confident seems only to mock them. many are beset by definite intellectual difficulties and so are tempted to a general cynicism. envy of others will suggest itself, and though it be sternly repressed, it still adds to the general strain, while good advice from others will seem just the last straw which cannot be borne. but one half of this problem has disappeared at once for many from the day when they faced the plain truth that the cause of trouble is physical. physiological processes with certain inevitable psychological accompaniments are at the bottom of it. because their natures have not received their natural fulfillment a complicated situation has arisen which cannot be easily lived through, though it may be in the end triumphantly controlled. and if it helps ordinary people to learn that sometimes when they seem to be suffering from a sense of sin they are really only being plagued by indigestion, it may very much more help women in this difficult period to know that they are only going through an inevitable physical readjustment. what is happening is that sexual desire--it may be in vague, unconscious, and very general forms--is asserting itself. nothing could be more absurd than to suggest that there is anything wrong or immodest in that fact. it is quite inevitable. indeed, the first step out of the trouble lies in accepting the fact and then in considering how it is to be dealt with. what is the way out of this difficult bit of life? all said that can be said about the physical and psychological causes, a very real problem remains. there must be a way of meeting it which ends in complete victory, for women who have come through it victoriously are to be found on all hands. what has been the secret of their victory? i prefer to let a woman begin the answer. "i think," writes one, "that the only possible thing for such women to do is to have their eyes fixed on god, and to know that in some mysterious and wonderful way he understands and meets all our needs. i think it needs a definite act--of our wills, our intellects, and our emotions--an act of consecration and self-offering to god, and until that is done there will be no peace." and then, after expressing her conviction as to the insufficiency of the policy of mere sublimation she continues, "i really believe that for women a real act of surrender--a joyful offering to god--is the only way." i am sure the ultimate wisdom about this whole matter is contained in those sentences, and i am sure because there are numerous other departments of life in which similar problems assail both men and women, and in relation to which the way of self-surrender is the only possible way to life. after all, it is not only unmarried women who have to face the experience of wanting passionately something which they cannot have. in various forms that challenge comes to most men and women whether married or not. our desires demand one thing, and life with its imperious authority offers something different; and it is perhaps in that way that most of us come to the crisis of our lives. it is easy to break oneself against a situation of that sort. it is easy to spoil life completely by an obstinate concentration on the object that is being withheld--to lose life by insisting on finding it in one's own chosen way. men and women alike make shipwreck of their lives in that way every year. but there is another way. our real life is life in god, and the way into it is always the way of surrender. to say with utter sincerity and absence of self-will, "lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" is to begin to find deliverance at once. we could not and should not surrender thus to anybody else. he alone perfectly understands. but when we have put ourselves into his hands without reserve, immediately life begins to arrange itself. with such surrender there comes a peace which nothing else can bring. i say it with acute sympathy for all strong-willed, high-spirited people, for whom surrender is very difficult. but i say it with an assurance that is based upon the unanimous verdict of the souls of all history who have found life. "i have learned," said one much harassed and persecuted man, "in whatsoever state i am therein to be content." he was content because in whatsoever state he might be he was always in the fellowship of god, and therefore in enjoyment of his essential life. he knew himself secure whatever life might bring, and even though life itself should end. he was inwardly in a state of profound peace and spiritual freedom, and that is why all the gracious powers of his humanity were able to find free and beautiful expression. so it must be with all of us. we find our real life, and we become masters or mistresses in life only when we have given in and allowed the love of god to direct and sustain us. for the particular problem dealt with in this chapter and for all other painful and pressing problems of life, the way of victory is to seek and find the life that is hid with christ in god. * * * * * no doubt at this point two questions will arise in the minds of some. firstly, some will want to say, "all that is very well for those who are religious, but how about the people who are not religious?" i have no answer to that question, because i believe there is none. religion is not a sort of hobby that just seems to suit certain peculiar people. it is a prime necessity for all of us. in a great many other connections it becomes increasingly plain to all who have eyes to see that there is no solution for the problem of life except the one which god himself offers to all seeking souls. we may refuse to seek him, but in so doing we close the prison doors against ourselves. i am not surprised that in studying the problems of sex i find no answer to the most acute of them apart from religion. that is what i should expect. is it likely that men and women who were made for god should ever find any lasting satisfaction or any way to victory in life apart from him? and indeed, in the particular connection i am now writing about, it is the fact that not a few women have lived to be almost thankful for the problem of involuntary celibacy that once confronted them in so menacing a way. it threw them back on god, and their experience of him has been so rich that they are thankful for the compulsion that drove them into his fellowship. there is no mysterious hunger in the inner life of any woman--no restless longing ever torments her--no painful stresses ever make her life seem difficult--no weary loneliness ever makes the world seem desolate, but he understands--perfectly and utterly. and if it be love that a woman longs for, there is no love like unto his love--perfect in tenderness, in understanding and in power. yes, god himself is the final answer to the problem of all lives that here seem to be unfulfilled, whether they be lives of men or women. the other question that will be raised will be put in these words: "you have said that in the dark hours that come to so many women religious feeling seems to be suspended, and yet you go on to say that the way of escape lies in religion," i know that what i have written may seem for this reason utterly tantalizing to some. i know that in general it is in times when we most need religion that it is apt to seem most remote from us. most of us have been in that dilemma. but there is a way out. it consists partly in remembering that religion is not only a matter of feeling, and that when feeling fails us the mind and will remain. but it consists still more in remembering that religion is not so much our affair as god's. god does not only answer the prayers of people who are feeling religious. if religion be what the experience of thousands declares it is, then we have reason to expect that our seeking of god will have results even when our emotions seem dead. we can at least direct our thought life. we can set ourselves towards him by the deliberate direction of attention. we can think the true and right thoughts. and in that way a religion begins to come into life that is tenfold more abiding and sustaining than any religion that is a mere matter of feeling. it may need rigid self-discipline and really hard work thus to direct attention and attain to a regulated thought life. but then, i am not suggesting that there is an easy way through this problem. there is a way, and a way that leads to real victory; but it is no more easy than any other path that leads to a great goal. i should like further to draw on the experience of women themselves to add some additional suggestions born of common sense and experiment. a very wise woman once supplied through me some hints to one who was going through this difficult period, and i am sure her hints are worth passing on to others. she insisted that no woman at this stage should attempt to live alone. healthy friendship with other women is one of the greatest possible helps to success. as i have noted in a previous chapter, there is a danger that lurks not far away in this connection. but too much cannot be said of the helpful and bracing influence of friendships that are kept really healthy. then, it is a mistake for women to live in institutions when that can be avoided. it really helps to have some room or rooms in the care of which the home-making instinct can find expression, and which may thus become a means to self-expression. more important still, my friend insisted that it is better at this period to work with people than with things. other people always tend to draw us out of ourselves, if we will allow that to happen. they make demands on our affections. they keep us in touch with real life and its vast variety of emotions and interests. they make self-forgetfulness possible. further, it is important for such women--as important as for all other people--to learn the truth that the way to win love is to give it. when people suffer tortures of loneliness it is essentially loneliness of heart. like all other normal persons they long to be loved. but nothing is more futile in such a situation than simply to sit down and wait for someone to come along and love us. that way lies despair. what we can do is to awaken to the fact that all around us are people who also long to be loved, and that we have love to give them if we will but be generous. they may not seem very attractive people, but in that case they only need our love the more. is it not being loved that makes people lovely! and when women rouse themselves to use their own love generously for others, they begin--always--to find the doors of deliverance opening. a further very great step will have been taken when it is realized that the life force which is not going to have its normal and natural outlet need not on that account be wasted. it can be directed to other ends with enormous benefit to the world. i cannot hope to say anything on this point one-half so adequate or so helpful as the chapter miss royden has already written in _sex and common sense_. out of the fullness of knowledge she has gained by an amazingly sensitive sympathy she has there written the best account i have ever seen of how thwarted sex emotion can be sublimated to other ends, and made an immensely effective force for the progress of the race. in both men and women sexuality is just life force. if the natural method of expression be denied to it, it will still seek out ways in which to express itself. if it has been merely repressed unwillingly and incompletely the results, as the psychologists are telling us, are apt to be disastrous. but if the situation is openly faced, and honestly accepted--if a conscious surrender of the normal sex career be achieved--then it is possible to utilize the life force that springs from our sex natures for great physical, mental, or emotional activities, and that without any of the evil results that follow from mere repression. in fact by living an abundant life in natural, useful, and absorbing ways the problem becomes capable of a truly happy solution. i have written the word "happy" deliberately. but i am not sure that at first this way out will seem happy. useful it certainly will be, but all said and done i fancy that some residue of regret will be apt to remain, and that because of it women will be tempted to indulge in self-pity. and self-pity both for men and women is the most enervating of all emotional luxuries. therefore, i wish to insert here a word of grateful testimony. if the sublimation of sex instinct seems to some women a poor and pale substitute for the normal career of marriage and motherhood, i am at least sure that for society at large it is a very blessed substitute. my chief experience of life has been in those places called slums, where life is always seen in its most drab and pitiful guise, and i can speak with certainty about this problem in relation to them. in the districts in which i have worked there have always been at least a few unmarried women who were spending with lavish generosity their whole life force in practical service and sympathy for needy children, harassed mothers, wayward men, and the sufferers of the district in general. no members of the human race are living anywhere with greater effect. no other women are called blessed with greater sincerity. half a dozen in particular i can think of who in this way have done more for the redemption of society in such places than a score of happily married mothers could have accomplished. i do not know whether they feel that the sublimation of their instincts has been a complete success, but i do know that hundreds of grateful people have no doubt about it whatever. the whole world in its modern guise is crying out for such services as women alone can render, and if, on the one hand, women are the chief sufferers through the confusions of human affairs, they have at least a wonderful chance of finding and applying the remedy. the world can never make good to them the wrong it has done them; yet they may, if they will, put the world inexpressibly in their debt. no doubt mankind does not deserve it, but the one perfect lover in history was willing to die for an undeserving world. it can never be other than a great calling to follow where he leads the way. a woman of great experience tells me that here i ought to suggest that in that minority of cases where it is possible, an unmarried woman may with great advantage adopt a child. there are many children in the world to-day without parents, and these children have a greatly lessened chance of life. but when one of these children is adopted in the way suggested a great benefit is brought firstly to the child, secondly to society, and thirdly to the woman herself, who thus acquires a worthy object for all the passionate devotion she possesses. having known this plan adopted in several instances, i have wondered why it is not more common, at least when financial considerations make it a possibility. no doubt to take this course or any of the other courses here suggested will need courage. but all successful ways of life need courage. life itself is a challenging summons to courage. there is no happy way through for those who sit down in fear or who give in to their own distresses. fate is a tyrant only to those who will not face him with spirit. a full and satisfying life has to be snatched from under the enemy's guns, but it can be so snatched. neither men nor women need give in though often defeated. "unconquering but unconquered" may be the best motto that we can hope to deserve, but for all those who inscribe it on their banners a strange happiness does creep into the soul. chapter x the art of being married i household harmony i have the greatest sympathy with married couples who never read any books or pamphlets containing advice to married people, and are determined that they never will. once a man and a woman have left their respective homes and set up in one of their own their common life is so entirely their own affair, and they have such a clear right to resent all intrusions into it, that the policy of rejecting all advice beforehand has clearly something to be said for it. and yet, because no one need read this chapter unless he or she likes, i put it in; and if any wife or husband does read it, i hope that in that case both husband and wife will do so. i really write it not so much for those who are already married, as for those still unmarried. it matters so much--so very very much--with what preconceptions and assumptions we approach wedded life. of course mother nature teaches the great art of living in the married state to thousands. two sensible people endowed with some patience, some common sense, and a great deal of affection have every right to expect that without much difficulty they will find for themselves the right way in marriage. uncounted couples who read no books and never heard of psychology have made a lifelong success of it simply by being natural, brave, unselfish, and really loving. many such simply wonder when they hear others talk about the difficulties, dangers, and painful experiences connected with marriage. they never found these things in their marriages. the last thing i would like to suggest to the young is that they need be afraid. personally i agree with the man who said that on his wedding day he had entered a new and splendid country for which he felt quite unworthy and that he had never since ceased to wonder and thank god for its beauties, its interests, and its delights. yet there are other couples--couples who have made mistakes, and now talk rather bitterly about marriage; and it is because i believe that even a little more knowledge and a little more patience might have prevented those mistakes that i offer the following pages with my congratulations and good wishes to all who are about to marry. there are no absolute rules for the conduct of married life. there are only truths to be recognized. we are all apt at times to wish for absolute rules. we think they would make life easier. we even wish sometimes that jesus had given us absolute rules and not simply principles. but in fact rules always turn out to be galling things. they are not for free personalities who differ enormously in constitution and temperament. the right way for a and b might prove to be just the wrong way for c and d. the problem is one which has to be worked out by each couple afresh. it is a problem of mutual accommodation between two persons each of whom is an original creation of god. it is the problem of taking two different life themes and working them into one harmony. nor do i think that we achieve much by thinking or speaking of "rights" in this connection--about "his" right to rule here, and "her" right to be considered there. no doubt husbands and wives have rights-- inalienable and august rights. but married life is part of love's domain, and in that region the language of the law courts is out of place. when either of the two begins to think about enforcing or claiming rights something has already gone wrong. and this i think is chiefly a point for men to consider. the conception of a husband as a sort of czar within his own home still lingers, though it may not be openly proclaimed. men still grow up with the idea that a wife should be a sort of submissive and very charming slave, honored by occasional demonstrations of affection, and that the whole household should be ordered to suit his lordship's convenience. such men will protect their wives, give them money, make love to them, humor them, and honor them in public; and in return will expect something little short of sheer submission. behind all this lurks the half-conscious idea that woman is man's inferior, and that idea really does remain hidden even in the minds of some who would repudiate it. the fact is that the ultimate value of marriage--the thing that makes it good fun, as well as a noble thing--lies in the fact that men and women are so different; that they have not the same powers, and can alternately take the lead in their common life. it is comradeship, and not mere occasional love-making, that they must achieve in order to be permanently happy, and comradeship is a relation in which each must be free to be his or her natural self. marriage _can_ be made a cramping thing, and then in time it becomes almost an insufferable thing. but if each will give the other room to grow it can be an enlarging experience. it may contain the sum of the interests of two different people. if mutual learning is brought into it, it dignifies the lives of both. i believe in obedient wives. but then i also believe in obedient husbands. if i did not follow my wife's lead in some departments of life, i should be neither more nor less than a fool. and i believe that she is quite wise to follow my lead in some other connections. what all this really points to is that the element of liberty is worth conserving within marriage with very great care. when a wife has no private means it is an essential thing for the husband to give her regularly a stated allowance and to ask no questions as to how it is spent. it is a good thing--a very good thing--to make certain that, if possible, a wife has a holiday now and then from the heavy bondage of housekeeping. it is even a good thing that she should have a holiday now and then from the charms and joys of family life. for we men are very like children in the way we come to depend on our wives. all our little woes must be brought to them--from buttonless shirts to the pitiful tale of our last defeat at golf. the children consult them daily about a hundred things as of right, and their husbands must often seem to them the biggest bairns of the lot. i quite see why women like it. but it must get very wearing at times. it surely is a good thing that now and then a wife should turn her back on it all, meet old friends, have days in which to enjoy herself without any bothers, and even for a few hours forget her exacting if charming dependents. it is equally important not to forget a husband's liberty. no doubt a great deal of cruelty lies to the charge of husbands who are out night after night, leaving their wives--already weary after a day's heavy work--to sit bored and alone, while they enjoy the company of their male friends, or hunt after their favorite pleasures. it is quite right that wives should refuse to tolerate such treatment. but the entire reversal of that policy is apt to work badly also. a husband should not drop all the masculine interests of his life, nor give up his old friends, nor resign from all the responsibilities that will take him sometimes out at nights. and a wise wife will not allow him to do it. somewhere between the two extremes i have indicated lies the wise path in this connection. then is it not time that somebody boldly said that husbands ought to do some of the housework? i have no time to discuss the ethical problem raised by the households where paid servants do it all. they are a very small minority of modern households, and in all the rest the wives do a great deal of the housework--generally all of it. some of it is heavy muscular work, such as carrying coals or moving furniture. the rest makes up an employment which is more constant, needs more brains, and calls for more administrative capacity than any man can imagine till he has tried to do it. of course men say they cannot do such work. which is plain rubbish. it only means that they do not like doing it. neither do many women. and men can do most of it perfectly well if they will only take the trouble to learn how it is done. i do not mean that i propose for men such jobs as matching wools, or making babies' clothes, or arranging the drawing-room. there are limits to our powers. but i do seriously mean that setting fires, cleaning grates, carrying coals, making beds, washing dishes, cooking, scrubbing floors, cleaning brass and silver, etc., etc. are things which the average man can do quite as well as the average woman. why then should they all be piled upon the weary back of the woman? because, you probably say, the man must hurry off to business in the morning, and comes home too tired at night. yes! most of us really believed all that before the war, and then we began to make discoveries. one was that there can be a lot of time before a man goes off to business, and another was that the man is not more tired by . p.m. than the woman, and can do a lot of useful things if he has the will. and i urge this point not only because it is in the clearest sense only fair, but because until a man does in this way take his share of the home burden he cannot understand his wife's life, and cannot give her intelligent sympathy. the instinctive male attitude to household details is often expressed in the phrase that they are "bally nonsense," or something else equally picturesque. but when a little experience has taught a man how _very_ uncomfortable he would be if the details were not right, he is forthwith able to be a much more intelligent friend to his wife. i do not think fathers ever really know their little children till they have helped in looking after them at bedtime, in the early morning, and at meals. and i am sure that no man ever knows what a crowded and terrific thing life can be till he has been left at home alone for a whole evening to look after two or three. when he has undergone that searching experience he will forthwith respect his wife with a new sincerity. it is extraordinary too what a jolly business housework can be when two people go at it together and get all the possible fun out of it. on the other hand, when it is all done by lonely people it can be vilely tedious. thousands of husbands have no idea of this. if they searched their own minds they would find that their idea of their own homes is that they are places to be kept clean and comfortable for them, and their idea of their own wives is that they are women whose first duty is to minister to their comfort. any suggestion that this may mean a very dull life for wives is met by a snort, and some muttered murmur about "poisonous modern nonsense." but in spite of that or any other more brilliant adjectives that may be employed the suggestion is unalterably true, and if, having made life as dull as that for their wives, such men find that marriage itself is not turning out well, it is high time they should wake up to the fact that they themselves are to blame. and yet may some kindly providence save us all from the women who never forget the house--whose domestic possessions seem to constitute mere extensions of their nervous systems, so that if you kick the fender you give them the jumps--who cannot sit still once they have seen a speck of dust, and cannot turn with free minds to any wider interest. they help to fill clubs and pubs. but they ruin homes. i want husbands to share the housework chiefly because in that way it will get done the sooner, and give both husband and wife some free time. if they want really to live they must take care to get away at times from all such merely domestic concerns. if need be let the supper dishes lie dirty, but out of sight, until to-morrow--if need be, let your husband wear a sock with a hole in it--put off cutting out baby's trousers, and even let your new blouse go without that alteration in the meantime, but on most evenings at all costs get some time to read, or enjoy music, or go out, or talk, or dream, or do nothing. the problem of civilization is unsolved for those who let the house tyrannize over them, and the problem of marriage also. all of which may seem rather trivial and unimportant to some men, but in my belief it is connected in a strangely intimate way with the success of life. of course the converse to all this is that wives do well to enter into their husbands' interests. it is often done with amazing success. i can think at the moment of doctors, lawyers, engineers, shopkeepers, scholars, writers, financiers, teachers, and ministers whose wives have entered keenly and with intelligence into all their cares, plans, and labors. and in every such case the friendship between man and wife has been very close, and the marriage truly happy. when this is not done, i often wonder why. i suppose some wives do not understand their husbands' affairs at first, and cannot be bothered trying to understand. i suppose that some husbands are too impatient to explain, and that others really cannot. if so it is a pity. possibly some would rather not explain. i have often wondered what the wives of many modern business men think of modern business methods; and i suspect that generally they simply do not know the truth. but i repeat it is a very great pity when a wife has no relation to her husband's business. it means that he has a life quite apart from her. and if it be said that many a man wants to forget his business and all its worries as soon as he gets inside his own front door, it is equally true that often such men have worries they cannot forget, and that they would be stronger and happier men if they only knew what a woman's sympathy is. all of which seems to me so very important--so inevitably important-- that i cannot but think it should be remembered when young men and women are deciding about their marriages. have you noticed the lines on the face of that greatest of men--abraham lincoln? they were there in large measure because he married a woman who could not or would not share his real life. ii physical harmony it is beyond all question that in many cases where marriage is not turning out happily the real cause lies in some failure to achieve real and true adjustment of the sexual relationship which marriage involves. here again there are no absolute rules. miss royden, for instance, has written a most notable chapter called "the sin of the bridegroom" in which with fine candor she points out how cruel it may be for a husband to suppose that on the first night of his marriage, and after a day of great fatigue, his wife will necessarily be emotionally attuned for her first experience of intimacy, and how fatal the results may be if he imposes himself upon her in an unresponsive hour. i am sure that every word in that chapter is true and important. i agree with the suggestion that every man should read it before he marries. but it is also true that many couples who did then experience intimacy can look back upon the first night of marriage as on a sacred occasion which they recall with wonder. yes, there are no absolute rules. but there are unalterable facts. and the supremely important one here is that sexual intimacy is only a perfect experience when it is a mutual experience. i think the delusion is nearly dead that woman is a passionless creature, who will never actively desire her husband but who ought to be willing to receive him whenever he desires. happy marriages can only be built upon the grave of that misconception. it was held to be a view honoring to women. as a matter of fact it led to a great deal of cruelty. no doubt women differ greatly, but in every woman who truly loves there lies dormant the capacity to become vibrantly alive in response to her lover, and to meet him as a willing and active participant in the sacrament of marriage. and till that dormant capacity has been stirred into life sexual intimacy may be actually repulsive, with the result that children may be born who are not in the full sense the product of creative love, and that the relations of husband and wife may remain difficult and unsatisfying to both. this is not what god ordained. there is an art of wooing which nature teaches to many men, and would, i think, teach to all men if they were patient and willing to learn. it consists in a love-making that appeals to the mind, the heart, and ultimately the body, and through it alone can a woman be attuned for her natural part in marriage. it is her inalienable right thus to be wooed before sexual intimacy is asked for, and husbands who are too impatient to offer such wooing do her a real wrong. there are times when a woman cannot respond, and a true husband must learn to recognize such times. some of them are perfectly obvious. when a woman is not well, or is fatigued--when pregnancy has advanced beyond its early stages--when full health has not been recovered after childbirth--at these and at other times the conditions are not present for a true sexual experience, and in the name of his love a man must learn not to ask for what cannot be freely given. none the less it is not always and only the husbands who make mistakes in this part of life. a woman must be at least willing to be awakened and made responsive, and many women have a strange power of controlling themselves in this matter. they can repress their natures even when desire has begun to stir. they can remain cold at will. and they do it for many and varied reasons. sometimes their reasons are purely selfish--they cannot or will not be bothered. sometimes they allow a sense of pique over some trifling grievance to inhibit their natural instincts. sometimes because they shrink from the labors of motherhood they acquire a distaste for this whole side of married life. and meantime their husbands are men in whom ardent love naturally, inevitably, and rightly produces a desire for intimacy. they may be willing to be patient. they may study their wives' moods, and try to learn to be chivalrous lovers. but if day after day they meet with no response--if on the contrary they find their wives deliberately checking all response, is it not clear that a situation is created that cannot but threaten married happiness? is it not inevitable that husbands so treated should begin to wonder whether their wives really love them? for love makes people unselfish, and equally it makes them understanding. on the other hand, when wives do understand, and learn in this respect to be generous, they bind their husbands to them in new chains of affection. in some husbands almost the strongest emotion they have towards their wives is a sense of profound gratitude for a generosity that made those wives willing to meet them again and again in love's high places, and allow them that ultimate expression of their passion through which nature is restored to balance and peace. and surely it might help wives to attain to that generosity if they would but remember that it is love for them that kindles passion, and that it is an ever-renewed sense of their lovableness that keeps their husbands so eager. but there is another strange reason that keeps some wives physically unresponsive, and so prevents any perfect sexual experience. it is a reason that only operates with refined and spiritually minded women, and though its results may be very serious it seems to them a right reason. what i am thinking of is a sense that it is not quite right or quite seemly or quite refined to allow the primitive instincts of the body to awaken. in other words, such women are afraid of passion in themselves, and suspect that it is not quite consistent with their moral and religious ideals to allow it to have sway. and so they never frankly and openly accept their own sexuality. it may be natural enough in view of the terrible ways in which men and women have misused and degraded passion. it is almost inevitable when women have been brought up to believe that morality consists chiefly in self-suppression. none the less it is a mistaken, and ultimately an irreverent as well as a fatal misconception. it was jesus who said, "he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh." there is a place in the holy life for the free, happy, and full expression of the instincts and desires that are rooted in our sex natures. the assumed inevitable opposition between bodily and spiritual functions has no real existence. we cannot spiritualize the body away. to neglect or simply to repress it is a course that comes to no good. what we can do is to accept, understand, and then use it rightly. and when we do so it turns out that the free and happy exercise of bodily function will harmonize with all the rest of our life till body, soul, and spirit attain to harmony and unity. i think this reluctance to accept our real natures is wrong and unreasonable, but my chief feeling about it is a sense of pity that women for reasons which seem to them good should none the less miss the joy and exaltation which might be theirs, and should compel their husbands to suffer also. it is strange but it is true that the two commonest reasons for the failure of marriage in this aspect of it are a lustful view of it and a mistakenly spiritual view of it. a lustful view of it will lead people to be content with merely physical unity, though they are attaining to no union of their mental and spiritual lives. and that means that marriage is a very poor affair. but on the other hand this falsely spiritual view will lead to an attempt to leave the body out. and that is a course of folly for incarnate spirits. the real end of marriage is a unity in which body, soul, and spirit will all play a part, and nothing else really satisfies. it has been wisely said that "there are liberating and harmonizing influences which are imparted by sexual union and which give wholesome balance and sanity to the whole organism provided that union is the outcome of psychic as well as physical needs. . . . through harmonious sex relationships a deeper spiritual unity is reached than can possibly be derived from continence either in or out of marriage." the waiting-rooms of specialists in nervous disease are crowded by men and women suffering from nerve trouble through failure to attain harmonious sexual relations in married life. but many of them might have escaped that fate had they only been able to take the simple christian view of themselves and their natural functions. it was a god of love who made us as we are, and we only interfere with his plans for us when we try on this earth to live as if we were out of it, or call that unclean which in his wisdom he has set in the center of our life. iii birth control not only because the subject of birth control occupies a very great place in the public attention just now, but also because it does raise very important and real questions for married persons i wish to speak shortly of it here. some day, perhaps, the medical profession will do the public the great service of issuing some authoritative statement about the physical aspects of the matter, for there are issues with which only medical men can deal wisely. and yet it is far from being only or even mainly a medical question. the moral and social issues involved in it are of great importance. it is now a matter of common knowledge that it is possible for two persons to live together in sexual intimacy and yet avoid having children. and this has created new problems for the married and new dangers for the unmarried. probably it has had a great deal to do with the recent increase of irregular sexual relationships outside marriage. the women whose sole motive for chastity was the fear of having children and so of being openly disgraced are now set free to sin against the truth without fear of that particular penalty. i am not, however, in the meantime concerned with them. it is the problem raised for married persons that concerns me. about two main points i am quite clear. in the first place, for two healthy young persons to marry with the definite intention of having no children is, i believe, an unchristian thing. if they cannot afford to have children they cannot afford to marry. if at the beginning they interfere with nature they spoil their first experiences of sexual intimacy, which should be spontaneous and untrammelled. i even believe that artificial attempts to postpone the arrival of a first child are a deplorable mistake. the first consummation of love should be closely followed by parentage. some couples having followed the plan of postponing parentage have, when it was too late, found that by this course they had forfeited the possibility of that great privilege. of course children mean very hard work. of course they restrict the freedom of parents to pursue their own pleasure, and use up a large proportion of the family income. but these things are a blessing in disguise. comparative poverty for young couples is a bracing and a useful discipline. probably the cream of the nation consists of men and women reared in families of four or five, where the parents gave much individual attention to each child, and by self-denial helped them to a good start in life. when birth control is resorted to in order to avoid the labors of family life it is a purely selfish and quite indefensible thing. i am thinking of course of healthy parents. unhealthy parents probably ought not to have children at all. the second point i am clear about is that for most couples to have as many children as is possible is equally indefensible. most healthy couples could have far more children than they can do justice to. in fact the plan of unrestricted families results in a threefold wrong. it is nothing less than cruel to women. the overburdened mothers who were confined once a year or once in eighteen months, never allowed to regain full strength between confinements, and made prematurely old, are, i hope, a thing of the past. marriage on those terms did mean servitude. further, the plan is cruel to children. they cannot on these terms receive sufficient attention. they are not given a fair start in life, and in many cases do not even receive sufficient healthy nourishment. these things are of course in part due to the artificial conditions of modern life. but the conditions are there and cannot be ignored. and thirdly, the plan involves a wrong to society. we have great need of healthy well-trained children, but society as a whole suffers when children are brought into the world who cannot be properly cared for. about this point i conceive there really cannot be any doubt whatever. and thus the problem of birth control forces itself upon our attention. it is a duty to women, to children, and to the state. the really difficult question is, "how is it to be achieved?" one great church in christendom replies, "by continence, and by no other method." and there are many who arrive at the same position because they hold that sexual intimacy is only justified, and is only holy, when the deliberate purpose of producing children enters into it. as i see the matter we come here to the central ethical issue of this whole matter. is it true that sexual intimacy is only right and beautiful when it is entered upon with a creative purpose, or is it also right and sacramental as an expression of mutual affection? or put differently--granting that two persons have allowed their love to lead to parentage, and have loyally accepted the burdens of family life, may they rightly continue to live in intimacy after the point has been reached at which they know they ought not to have any more children? it is at this point that people of unquestionable moral earnestness differ acutely, i am compelled to take my stand with those who believe that sexual intimacy is right and good in itself as an expression of affection. it has, as a matter of fact, a good many other consequences than the production of children. it constitutes a bond of very great worth between two persons. it is in many interesting ways beneficial to a woman's physical system; and it brings to men a general balance and repose of being which is of enormous value. i believe, in fact, that in actual experience it does justify itself as a method of expressing affection. the alternative for thousands of couples is not merely the cessation of sexual intimacy, but also abstinence from all the endearing intimacies which are natural and spontaneous in married life. they must not only sleep apart, but in many ways live apart. and this not only means pain of heart such as would take a very great deal to justify it, but also often leads to serious nervous trouble because of the strain which it involves. i have insisted again and again in these pages that continence is perfectly possible for unmarried men. but continence for a man living in the same house with a woman whom he loves, and with whom he has had experience of sexual intimacy, is a very different thing. it is possible for some--perhaps for many, and without serious loss. but for many others it is not possible except on terms which lead to serious nervous trouble. and for such persons, and on the terms i have indicated, i believe conception control to be the better way. as to how that control should be achieved i have no special fitness to speak. i would advise any couple, faced by the problem, to consult some doctor of repute till they understand the matter, and then to find out for themselves what is for them the right course to adopt. i know that for some people what is called the sublimation of sexual desire provides a successful way of dealing with the situation. they find themselves able without any emotional loss to divert to other directions and uses the energy of their sex natures. but it is a mistake to imagine that what is possible for one couple is necessarily possible for all. attempts at sublimation often result in mere repression, and on the heels of that come serious troubles. chapter xi unhappy marriages a good deal has already been said in these pages about the causes of failure in marriage, but i feel that a more definite dealing with the problem of unhappy marriages is called for. i do not recognize any problem in those cases where marriage has not been based upon love. when a man or a woman marries for financial reasons, or out of a desire for a certain place in society, or because of a mere desire to settle down in life, then he or she runs an enormous risk, and there is nothing to be surprised at if trouble follows. so close an intimacy as marriage involves is really only tolerable when love constantly supplies reasons for patience, generosity and forgiveness. in fact by marrying for any other reason than love men and women only make the permanent and inevitable problems of life a great deal harder to solve. and a human life does always involve a problem either in or out of marriage. life is a complex and perplexing business. but if it be true that many marriages begin with intense love and yet after some time turn out unhappily, then a very real problem is presented to our minds, and probably what i have already said about the wonder of sex love, and its harmonizing influence on personalities, has accentuated that problem for some of my readers. there are many wives who once loved their husbands intensely, but who are now laboriously learning to endure them. there are many husbands who felt that they had attained to all that they longed for when they married, but who now are almost giving up in despair the task of living even peaceably with their wives. many such people are heard declaring that love is the arch deceiver of the world, and that its power only lasts during a few short hours in the morning of life. for many the early and wonderful days of marriage remain only as a tormenting memory, so entirely has the color faded out of their lives. and i know that the pain of such situations is so intense that i would fain speak of them only with consideration and sympathy. but none the less the broad fact has to be stated that in such cases it is not marriage that has failed but the people involved in marriage. there is nothing in the whole of life so beautiful or so holy but that it can be spoilt when mishandled, and love is no exception to this. i believe love is always felt as a call to unselfishness, but it is a call that can be resisted. and when it is resisted and two selfish people find themselves tied together for life, all the conditions of misery are present. selfish people are nearly always unhappy people, and two unhappy people certainly cannot make a happy marriage. and yet these generalities do not carry us very far. unless we can discover in further detail why marriages fail, these things were better left unsaid. i believe, however, we can discover many of the reasons. to begin with, a good many unhappy husbands are idle men. having no hard work to which they must give themselves daily, they have to try to find interest in life in some other way. and because there is no other way they inevitably find themselves threatened with boredom. while their love was new it seemed to them that it would fill life for ever with romance and joy, but so soon as the first early stages of marriage were past they found it failing them. such men almost always become moody or restless or irritable, and if they are much at home their wives have to try to humor them through their troubles. it is more than any woman ought to be asked to do, and more than any woman can continuously accomplish. if such men came home in the evening honestly tired through trying to do something worth doing they would find their homes a delightful solace. but life's problem cannot be solved by an idle man, whether he be married or unmarried. and the same is true for idle wives, though there are not so many of them. when a woman has turned over to her servants all household cares and even the care of her children that she may run after pleasure she has chosen to live on terms which never yet made anybody lastingly happy. we are by nature too big for that way of life, and sooner or later it fails to make us even content. love will light up with a wonderful color lives that are given to honest work, but even love cannot make idleness other than a wearisome career. then there are couples who have refused to have children. if the reason be that some possibility of disease has made it seem wrong to have children, it may be that both will learn to adapt themselves to this limitation and to achieve happiness in spite of it. thousands of couples who are childless against their own wills have learnt none the less to live together in lasting happiness. but when childlessness is the result of a mere selfish policy, it often revenges itself upon the couple concerned. they have deliberately refused satisfaction to one of the deepest instincts within them, and though they may not realize it, those suppressed instincts destroy their harmony of being. they do not face the fact that they have such instincts, because they could not meet them with any adequate reason for suppressing them. they try to deceive themselves into believing that the instincts are not there, or they repress them from selfish causes, and life does not let them off. love remains unsatisfied. its august claims have been refused. and therefore it does not and cannot continue to bring them joy. another reason for unhappy marriages i have already spoken of in a previous chapter. sometimes they were marriages of passion and not of love. sometimes men and women allow themselves to be hurried into union by the driving force of an almost impersonal thing that is purely physical in nature, and though they think they are acting out of love, they are leaving out the larger part of their natures. mind and spirit may have had no part at all in the transaction. and after such a step there is bound to come a painful awakening. after a while he or she will find that in the most intimate part of married life only the body is acting, and then two people who have got very close to one another in one respect may yet find that they are still in many ways strangers to each other. that must always be a most critical situation. i believe that a successful way out of it might almost always be found, if only the two concerned would use much patience and would learn mutual accommodation. but patience is not a universal possession either among men or women, and often rash and foolish things are said or done at such times which seem to break hopelessly the house of dreams which up till then had seemed so beautiful and so permanent. if only men and women could learn that the love which makes happy marriages is _not_ mere passion, though it involves passion, a world of troubles might be avoided. the plain though unpalatable truth about a great many marriages is that, though there was love in them at the beginning, there was not enough of it. often there was enough to make the man eager and delighted to enjoy his wife when she was happy, but not enough of it to make him able and willing to help her when she was depressed. there was enough to make each able to take delight in the charms of the other, but not enough to make either willing to forgive the faults in the other, and help him or her to conquer them. there was enough for sunny days but not enough for foggy ones--enough to produce laughter but not enough to beget patience--enough for admiration but not enough for understanding--enough for joy in the other's successes but not enough for helpfulness after the other had failed. perhaps a woman will always seem in some ways a queer creature to a man. it is certain that no man has always understood any woman. and i suppose a man always seems at times a strange, childish, and primitive being to a woman, so that she also fails to achieve understanding. but when understanding has failed love is put to one great test. nothing can get a couple through times when understanding has failed, except love. but love can do it when there is enough of it. nor is that the hardest thing love has to do. there come times when, because nobody is always good, and most of us are often bad, love has to face the plain fact of sin in the loved object. at such times to approve is impossible, and would be a real disloyalty. to break out into mere reproaches is futile and irritating. to do nothing is to let a seed of separation sink into the common life. yet the situation can be met. it can be met by real love, because love can forgive. forgiveness does not mean condoning wrong. it does not mean blindness, which is never a helpful thing. it means loving the person who has stumbled in spite of the fact, and even perhaps just because of it. it is at such times that one who has failed most needs love, and when therefore love gets a supreme chance. but if a husband or a wife has not enough love to take that chance, then marriage may fail. and here i am not talking about exceptional cases. whoever you are, if you marry you are going to marry a sinner--a man or a woman who will some day fall below his best self or her best self. and just because you love it will bring you acute pain. you would do well to ask yourself beforehand what you are going to do about it. and if you cannot feel that you could forgive and go on loving all the same, you would do well to think again. the whole story of some unhappy marriages is told in one sentence. there was love in them, but not enough to produce forgiveness. yet the ultimate proof that true love is divine in origin lies just in the fact that true love _can_ forgive. all of which leads me on to the real reason why i write this chapter. marriages often fail because people often fail, and people fail ultimately for one central reason--that they have not god in their lives. i have read as much modern fiction as most people. and while i have plodded through elaborately told tales of the sufferings of married people, my amazement has grown that these tales are almost without exception the stories of people who had no conscious relation to god. their authors seem to think it a most interesting thing that such lives should go wrong, and they base upon that fact the suggestion that life is essentially a tragic and rather disappointing matter. to me nothing seems more inevitable and more entirely explicable than that on such terms life should fail, and should fail alike for the married and the unmarried. what could be more simple! the essential greatness of man lies in the fact that he is capable of fellowship with god. it is in realizing that fellowship that he truly comes to himself. in nothing less than that can he ultimately find satisfaction. the reason why all lesser experiences fail him is just that he was made for something greater still. these lesser experiences will carry him through the morning of life and past the usual time for marriage. but later on the unalterable facts about his nature begin to assert themselves. though he does not always know it--often indeed does not know it--he begins to need his god. and till he finds god he is wrongly related to the whole universe. though he will generally fight against it a certain sadness threatens to settle on his spirit. he will try all the old joys; and though he may pronounce them still good, a quiet voice within will pronounce them not good enough. he cannot live even on human love, and a disturbing force will begin to trouble him even when he is with the wife he has loved so well. and so marriage begins to fail. i find the psychologists saying this with their peculiar vocabulary. they tell us that the individual has to achieve certain adaptations if he is to find his harmonious and balanced life. one of these is the adaptation to society; another is the adaptation to sex, and a third is the adaptation to the infinite. if for "adaptation to the infinite" we put the time-honored phrase "reconciliation with god," then psychologists and religious teachers will be found saying identically the same thing. and all three adaptations are necessary. adaptation to sex alone is not enough. for those who do know god it turns out that their human fellowship based on love becomes so entirely at one with the divine fellowship, that the two almost cease to be felt as two and certainly the human fellowship is enormously enriched. but where the divine fellowship is a thing unknown a certain deep-seated weariness and loneliness will possess the man, let his human love be never so wonderful. what thousands of people are demanding of the universe is that there should be some way of solving life's problems without religion. and life in every century has gone on demonstrating that there is no way of solving them except through religion. i am using religion in the largest sense, which is also the truest sense. i am not here concerned with the dogmas of any particular church, nor with the question of the ways in which religion shall express itself. the truth i am emphasizing is that without some conscious relation to his god man remains a stranger in the world and an exile from his spiritual peace; and that such men cannot be happy or satisfying husbands. and of course all that i have written as if thinking only of husbands is equally true for wives. i have been the perplexed and sympathetic confidant of a number of people who with dismay and sorrow were finding out that marriage was failing them. in almost all these cases religion had been simply passed by as a thing hardly relevant to real life, and it has been plain beyond all question that the trouble in the sphere of marriage could not be mended till something had happened to the persons concerned--in other words, till they had learnt to seek and use the help of god. and often they know it for themselves. "i think what i really need is god," said one very troubled wife to me a few years ago. but she had begun with a long and moving story about her marriage. she indeed went on to ask how god can be found, and it may be that some of my readers will at once want to ask that question, i cannot attempt to deal with it here and now. the first great step towards finding him is to realize that we need him, and so to begin to seek him. and for the rest i can only add that thousands upon thousands have proved in life the truth of what jesus claimed when he announced "i am the way." i have written this book largely because i have with reason and out of experience so great a faith in the possibilities of the love that is consummated in marriage that i would fain testify to others concerning it. but i would none the less like to warn any man or any woman lest he or she should imagine that by human love alone life's problem can be solved. without god we fail in life, and the bitterest part of the failure for many is that even that beautiful and delicate thing marriage fails with the rest. "we are restless till we rest in thee," and two restless hearts cannot be happy hearts even though they be joined together in the bonds of love. chapter xii the influence of social conditions let me begin this chapter with a query. is not all the trouble in the modern world over the sexual element in life the evidence of something abnormal and distorted in the very constitution of modern society? or put differently, would it not turn out that if only men and women were set in just and healthy conditions, given real education and sufficient means of self-expression, the sexual problem would be found very largely to have solved itself? i cannot offer any dogmatic answer to that query, though i have my own conviction that history will one day answer it with an unmistakable affirmative. what we can do even now is to notice that every maladjustment in our present social life tends to increase the amount of failure in true sex morality. all our callousness about social evils revenges itself upon us by confronting us with an increasingly menacing problem in this connection, and all honest service devoted to the increase of social health of any sort is also helping our moral progress. and i wish to amplify this point because i hope some at least of the readers of this book will find themselves asking eagerly what can be done in view of the seriousness of sexual evil. if those who go wrong in sex matters are spoiling their lives at the core, which of us would not like to do something to guard the young from wandering, and to help to clean the modern world! therefore it is a real satisfaction to be able to reply, as i do with complete conviction, "anything you do to help to bring social justice and general health any nearer is also helping towards the solution of this one problem." let us consider some of the outstanding social evils from this point of view. i turn first to the matter of _education_ because it is the primary issue in every connection. now education that stops at fourteen is hardly worthy to be called education at all. it is after that age that those interests awaken which provide absorbing life for boys and girls, and ensure them against the pains and dangers of empty-mindedness. it is also after that age that most young folks learn the ways and means of self-expression. probably also, at least in the case of boys, the years between fourteen and sixteen are just the years when the discipline of school life is most valuable, and it is certain that during that period healthy games, played under the discipline of sternly enforced rules, do most to put boys into possession of themselves, and to provide a wise outlet for their abundant energies. consider then what happens so long as we continue to send boys out of school at the age of fourteen. they go with minds unawakened and therefore empty. they face adolescence in almost complete freedom from control. they very often have far too little opportunity for invigorating games, and they do not know how to express themselves, though vital energies are vibrant within them. it is only natural that they should find orderly ways of life very dull, and that in pursuit of excitement they should take to hooliganism. not having learnt to appreciate either literature or art, they either read nothing or read stories that are neither true nor decent. they respond only to what is highly spiced and have nothing in their minds to counter balance the meretricious attractions of suggestive stories and undesirable films. the truth about the people who are fond of "blue" stories is often (though not always) that those stories accurately indicate their intellectual level. and the uneducated modern boy is often at that level through no fault of his own. it actually is hard for men to whom the wonder and the splendor of life have been revealed to find room in their mental life for indecent trash. but till we really educate our boys we are sending them out into life unarmed against some of its worst features. and if the general failure of education has this deplorable effect, what shall we say of the complete lack of any special education relating to sex in at least a majority of modern schools? i know that that is a very difficult matter. i know that disaster may follow from any attempt to do it in a general way through class teaching. i know too that it ought to be done by parents. but it is not done, and both boys and girls go out to face the dangers of life in town and country without the knowledge of physical facts which might guide them into safety. actual immorality is indeed uncommon between the ages of fourteen and seventeen, but those years are often spent in a way that is the worst possible preparation for the struggle that is to come. i have put my main stress on the fact that education stops at fourteen, because to my mind that is the outstanding defect of our system. but even the education we do give is ill fitted to attain its true end. it is not the fault of the teachers. many of them do wonderful work, and long to be allowed to do better work. but with classes of from fifty to seventy the most heaven-born teacher in the world cannot achieve his purposes. it is certain that lovers of purity who really understand human nature cannot be among the panic-stricken economists who want to starve education. _housing_ housing evils are mainly of two kinds. houses are often dark, damp, and evil-smelling, which means ill-health. and houses are often too small, which means that human beings are packed so closely that privacy is impossible. both results affect morality. a man below par in general health is far more susceptible to the lure of evil than a really healthy one. and the same is true of girls. there are to be found in some corners of our towns lewd and unwholesome-looking youths whose talk and whose actions are unclean and sordid. we perhaps shudder as we pass by and sense what is their moral condition, but if we knew the houses from which they come we might hardly wonder. then plainly it is hostile to wholesome living when husband and wife cannot have a sleeping-place separate from the rest of the family, and when growing boys and girls share the same room, so that natural modesty is confronted with constant obstacles to its normal development. when i wrote some pages back about the disciplinary value of the daily cold bath, i could hardly forbear stopping at that point to comment on the fact that that primary condition for bodily and moral health is beyond the reach of millions. our housing has not yet reached the bathroom standard for the majority of our people. all these considerations are perfectly obvious and have often been urged before. but though i have known of many cases where moral evil has followed from bad housing conditions, i have known so many instances where in spite of bad housing conditions morality has been perfectly preserved, that i do not make so much of this point as some. i have yet to learn that morality is made safe by the most elaborate and healthy housing conditions. it is true that the level of morality is very low indeed in really overcrowded slums, but it also is true that the section of the population among which real purity is most common is the artisan section, and many of them have to contend with very poor housing conditions. the royal commission on venereal disease reported that while the class of casual laborers is the worst in the country, the next in the scale is the one described as "middle and upper classes". traveling west in our cities does not mean traveling towards morality. _sweating_ there are three main directions in which sweating tends to increase immorality. in the first place low wages paid to men make marriage very difficult, and sometimes impossible. and nothing could be worse for any community than that healthy and robust men should be debarred from marriage after twenty-one by purely material considerations. it is not impossible for a man to remain chaste through a lifetime of celibacy, but for all that a society that enforces celibacy on men against their will is making immorality a practical certainty. a particularly mean form of this evil occurs in connection with the living-in system which is imposed by a good many big shops on their employees. i used to know a number of young men of marriageable age who were housed in a great and bare sort of barracks and given in addition a wage that was only enough to provide dress and necessary etceteras. if, desiring to marry, they said that they wished to live out and to receive the equivalent of their board and lodging in money, they got in those pre-war days £ a year extra. is it to be wondered at that in that section of society it was a common saying that "only fools get married"? but it was not a chaste section of the community. men are very seldom chaste when they live in exclusively male communities. then, secondly, sweating makes for immorality because it means that girls are paid wages which are quite insufficient to support life. some of them live at home with their parents and so get through, but those who have to support themselves become subjected to a terribly severe temptation to add to their starvation wages by the sale of themselves. it is still in this way that a considerable percentage of the prostitutes of the country is created, and the number of girls who, though not known as prostitutes, have sacrificed their purity because of financial pressure must be very great. the word sweating also covers cases where workers are subjected to overwork, and unduly long hours; and therefore under this head i mention the influence of the strain of long shop hours. the improvement has been great of late in this respect, but still there are restaurants and special shops where the strain on girls is very heavy. and the result is that after work is over they are fit for nothing but walking about the streets in search of diversion. many indeed who live in hostels have almost no choice between walking in the streets or going to bed. there is no need to say more. first girls are rendered nervously weary and yet eager for fresh air and movement, and then they have to face all that street life may mean. the recreations offered them in cinemas and music-halls are often calculated to give them just the wrong sort of excitement. and so first they are bored by monotony and long hours, and then played upon by rather low forms of suggestive art. it is here that girls' clubs and troops of girl guides meet the real needs of girls; and they probably constitute the finest influence of the right sort which modern life offers them. _luxury_ one of the most serious evils in the modern world is that a great many men and women have far more money than is good for them, and that of these a considerable number are not under any necessity to work. nothing in all the wide world is worse for a man than to have lots of money and nothing to do. it is among these men that the patrons of expensive vice are to be found. of necessity such men are bored by ordinary life. for life without work in it is always boring. it follows that they must seek excitement, and a very short time suffices for them to get all the excitement possible out of innocent recreations. wherefore in pursuit of something to stir them they take to the diversions that are not innocent, and often try to exploit their own passions to give color to life. their expensive and luxurious ways of life constitute one of the worst moral forces in the community. they keep in existence to pander to their desires large numbers of subordinates whose lives are also worthless and without any productive value. it is because of them that the life of a courtesan seems to offer golden prizes to some, and the hope of reaping such prizes deludes many. because this is a materialistic age their money gives them powers to which they have no moral right, and no more wholesome thing could happen to the whole community than that the necessary changes should be worked out which would make such noxious drones impossible in the future. it is for these people that sweated workers drudge and sweat. and then, under our curious and indefensible laws of inheritance, it is possible for wealth thus created to be passed on from generation to generation, creating for each in turn the worst possible conditions for true life. it is utterly unreasonable to hope that we shall ever as a nation attain to moral health until this evil has been dealt with. it seems to matter little whether such people are married or unmarried; in both conditions they make havoc of sexual life, and poison society. _drink_ i have kept to the last the social evil which more than all the others put together tends to produce sexual immorality. as i have already said, it is a comparatively rare thing for a man to "go wrong" for the first time when he is entirely sober. it is bacchus that conducts men into the courts of venus. mr. flexner, who for scientific reasons made a comprehensive study of prostitution in europe, reports that in every country the whole traffic is "soaked in drink." there are inhibitions in our humanity which make sexual vice repulsive to our taste, and there are few who can get past these inhibitions until alcohol has deadened their better feelings. man after man has told me that it was after some festive night when he had taken more wine than ever before that he first fell. unmarried mothers have told me that what happened on the night that was fatal to them was that they were cajoled into taking champagne or whisky, and after that could not well remember what took place. it is not too much to say that until we have grappled with the drink evil in our midst we cannot possibly hope to master this greater evil which follows on the heels of intemperance. this one consideration alone would make me an enthusiastic prohibitionist. we have tried life on the present terms and it has beaten us. we have allowed the common sale of a drug that is the proved enemy of our best life. it has damaged us physically, industrially, and financially. but its most deadly damage has been done in connection with our sexual life. it not only misleads the unmarried, but in many homes it is daily destroying all possibility of married happiness. no doubt the difficulties of temperance reform are very great. but the real cause of the delay of effective reform is want of will in the community as a whole. i cannot but think that if the deadly and intimate connection between drink and sexual vice were realized, the will to effective reform might appear among us. when i consider all the forces which i have thus briefly reviewed, and remember that behind them there is the power of a central and universal human instinct, i no longer wonder that sexual follies abound in our country, and that we have not yet solved the problem of purity. what i do wonder at is that there are hundreds of thousands of young men and women who, in spite of all these facts, insist on living clean and pure lives. there is something in human nature that fights very hard for the true way of life. boys and girls with bad hereditary influences to hamper them, and brought up in very unfavorable surroundings, do yet constantly refuse to succumb. even those who have made mistakes constantly refuse to be beaten, and hold on tenaciously to the narrow way. though the modern world has been deluged with novels written to display sexual irregularities in a romantic light, and to express contempt for christian moral standards, and though no doubt thousands have been misled, it remains true that surprisingly large numbers refuse to be befooled in such ways. i believe the reason is that, strong as mere physical desire may be, love is a stronger thing still. and it is the power of love that keeps many right. in many men it is love for an ideal woman that does it. they keep themselves from evil because, though they may never have met her, they believe one day they will, and they want to bring her their best selves without any spot of defilement. in many girls love works in the same redemptive way. and perhaps in both what is really working is a mystic longing after the best that life can hold, and a half-conscious understanding that that best is only for those who preserve unity between body and spirit, and keep the body in bonds until the pure command of love itself summons it to freedom. and yet it is infamous that the struggle should be so hard for so many. all of us who are ignorant or complacent or skeptical about the social evils of our time are sharers in the iniquity of those who fall. many of us live in mean satisfaction, just because we ourselves have found comfort and security; that is how these evil forces are able to go on year after year leading thousands to their undoing. if the test of a real passion for purity lies in caring about the forces that make for impurity and caring to the point of suffering for those who fall, then i fear few of us have that passion in any really effective and holy form. and it will need passion to compete with the forces that lie behind evil social conditions. they are entrenched behind the power of money, and i know of only one passion that is stronger than money. when will all who really love take up the challenge of this disordered modern world? we talk. we confer. we discuss social reform. but we do not love. and that is why mammon is able to laugh at us, and go on dragging our boys and girls down into the mire. chapter xiii forgetting the things which are behind i have implied in this book that the very best in sexual experience is only for those who keep themselves unspotted in early life, and who come to the sacrament of marriage with no previous and lower experience of sex intimacy. i am even sure that the very best is spoilt a little by all previous unworthy thinking, and by all perverse practices. i know that that will sound a hard saying to very many, for there are few who have fulfilled these conditions for knowing the best. it must seem to them that i am practically saying to them, "you can never now enter into the holy of holies." yet i cannot alter what i have said, however acute may be my sympathy with those who have stumbled. i believe it is true, and no good ever came of hiding the truth. it is because it is true that i have such confident hope for mankind. men and women do in their hearts want the very best, and when they come to know what are the only terms on which that very best can be had they will, i believe, accept those terms. but this would be a cruel book, and a false book too, were i to imply that there is no way in which the past can be forgotten and forgiven, and no way into purity and joy even for those who have wandered. were that so i could not write at all about this subject, for it would then be too tragic. perhaps the worst consequence of aberrations in thought and conduct is that they make it very very hard to be perfectly happy and unashamed when at last love calls them to enter into the inner chambers of marriage and romance. the shadows that rest at times on that part of marriage even for some very happy lovers are due to the fact that the man (or sometimes the woman) was once involved in something else before that was a little like it, and yet was haunted then by a sense of wrong-doing and so could not have a perfect experience. it is only to the pure that _all_ things are pure. but it is _not_ true that the past need dog and spoil the future. it is not true that sin is irremediable, nor that its stains remain for ever. the essential and central thing in christianity is the assertion that there is a remedy for the situation that sin creates. i do not think there is any remedy to be found in simply trying to ignore the past--or in saying that our aberrations were only those of ninety per cent. of mankind, and were so natural as to be not worth bothering about. in such ways we may push the past out of sight, but we do not deal with it. it remains there though out of sight. for the fact is that such sayings do not quite convince us, and therefore they cannot kill the past. nor is there any remedy to be found merely in the forgiveness of man or of woman. women are proverbially, and perhaps divinely, willing to forgive. but a woman's forgiveness does not necessarily make a man able to forgive himself. nor does it always cleanse an unclean inner life. to many a man it has been just the fact that his fiancée or wife was so sublimely willing and able to forgive that has revealed to him his own unworthiness and made it sting the more. no! there has got to be something much more drastic in our lives if we are to get free from shame and remorse. we have got to go down into that stony valley of humiliation where men and women face the naked facts before their god, and stop all attempt to hide or to deceive. we have got to stop the sophistries which are so dear to us, and through which we try to put the blame on others, or on circumstance, or on fate. we have got to face the fact that the evil things--whatever they were, either small or great--happened because we were weak--because we put pleasure before duty--because we gave in to lust, or evil suggestion, or a craven longing to please the flesh. yes! they happened because we were weak, and that is a horrible thing to have to admit. yet admitting it is the only way to regain contact with the truth. and what next? the next thing is that in that extremity we find god. it might seem that he would probably be the last one to be found through humiliation and the open admission of being impure. but in actual experience that is how he is found. that is his way--to meet the man who has discovered his own insufficiency--to intervene at the desperate minute--to reveal to incarnate weakness his eternal strength--to give a strange assurance that he himself is about to enfold the man or woman in his power, and tale charge of the future. and when that has happened a man knows what to do with his past. he can leave it with god, and then it loses at once all power to haunt him or put him to shame. it was unclean, but the cleansing fires of the divine love have taken it in charge, and its power is broken. that is something very different from trying to hide it or trample upon it. that is really killing it, and after that a man both may and can forget. "if any man be in christ he is a new creature." that is literally true even in this connection. spiritually a man ceases to be the same person as the one who was once so weak and unclean. he has entered a new spiritual country. experience has proved all this over and over again. men who in early youth were wild have by the grace of god become so essentially pure as to become capable of true and blessed experiences of love and all that love leads to with a fine woman. but it does need the grace of god. those who attempt simply to forget and make light of their early follies do not escape from them. and why should i not boldly say the same thing--exactly the same thing-- about a woman? it is certainly true. no one seriously believes that the redeeming grace of god, which is sufficient for all other sins, fails before this one. no one who has understood christ doubts that he can make a new woman, and a pure and noble woman, out of one who has stumbled. and yet curiously society has never learnt to forgive women. a man is allowed to forget the things which are behind. generally a woman is compelled to remember them till the very end. i shall never forget being once at a meeting of men in new york where a very great american woman spoke to us all on this subject. she pointed out to us that society had never learnt to control the evils of this part of life because it had never learnt to adopt the method of jesus, which was frank and full forgiveness. we have been afraid. we have thought it would be socially disastrous. but jesus had no hesitation in his voice when he said to a penitent magdalene, "neither do i condemn thee, go and sin no more." of course she sinned no more. there is in all the universe no constraining force like that combination of forgiveness and trust. i am sure we cannot make our standard too high. i am sure we need to guard against all compromise in thought with its august demands. but i am equally sure we need to learn to forgive generously if we are ever to help those who have stumbled. forgiving sinners does not mean condoning sin, else could there never be any divine forgiveness. what it does mean is loving the persons concerned. till we learn to exercise that divine art, we do but shut the doors of hope against sinners and push them farther down. of course this means that for a pagan society there is no choice between a sternly cold and cruel morality on the one hand, and license on the other. for pagans cannot forgive. they alternate between a moral indifference in which there is no hope for anybody, and a cold and callous condemnation of sinners which is both hypocritical and cruel. we have all seen both policies in action and know how hopeless they both are. but in exact proportion as we learn to think and feel with christ we shall learn to forgive, and so doing shall begin to have mastery over the evils in sex life that spring from ignorance, waywardness, want of discipline, and the misunderstanding of love. history is one long record of how by the force of law and by alternate severity and carelessness the human race has tried to find for itself the right path through this special country. but the record is largely one of failure. there is no way of success for a society that depends upon such forces. here as in a dozen other connections the only way to life is that christian way which the world has so largely repudiated. mankind want to make a success of their life in this world--want to make the most possible of it--but they want it apart from the leadership of christ, and so they miss it. he can show us the way of life if we will but listen, but no other can. and his way is always and altogether the way of love--love that can tame the brute in us and make it a servant--love that can transform passion into a holy fire--love that makes men patient and women generous--that takes the common things of life and makes them sacred-- and above all love that can hate sin with fierce sincerity, and yet love and forgive sinners. it is after this fashion that god loves us. we must so love one another if we are to make human life great. there is another and a larger sense in which there is need that we should forget the things which are behind. we need as a race to escape from an evil past. our greatest danger in this whole connection is the danger of moral skepticism. "sex vice has always been common," men say with truth; and then with fatal unreason they add, "and always will be." that way lies sheer disaster. the whole situation calls for faith in man's future--faith in his capacity for purity--faith in love. and that faith is really but a part of any true faith in god. in the past even christian people have tried to evade the problem of sex. the truth about it has not been openly sought. its challenge has not been bravely met. its possibilities have not been realized. and therefore fears, sufferings, excesses, cruelties, and injustice to women have degraded our common life. the whole matter is central for our civilization. while we think and work for reconstruction we would do well to remember that there can be no happy and harmonious life for us till this whole problem has been solved--till we have learnt to enthrone pure love in our midst and by its passionate and cleansing power to subdue the brute and exercise our complete humanity to the glory of god. love never faileth. it purifies passion and dominates the flesh. if we believe in god we needs must believe in the triumph of love; and that means a divine consummation at last to all our wanderings and struggles in connection with sex. appendix a brief sketch of some of the physiological facts by a. charles e. gray, m.d. (ed.) appendix some of the physiological facts of all the vital forces with which living things are endowed, the two most potent are the instinct for self-preservation and the instinct for race-preservation. this latter gives rise to the reproductive urge. so deep-seated is this instinctive force, that in many instances in the vegetable world, the threat of individual death results in a special effort of reproduction and the individual dies to live in the next generation. a force which is thus so insistent in the whole animal and vegetable world is naturally not absent in the human being, and it is well we should definitely recognize the fundamental power of this, in every normal man and woman. not seldom the reproductive instinct is spoken of as a thing which can be put on one side and ignored. all experience and history prove that this is impossible, and that the attempt to do so ends in failure and disaster. but in civilized communities it is equally impossible to allow such a force to range unrestrained, hence the laws and customs of modern peoples. but mere assent to external authority can never achieve more than partial success. what is needed is whole-hearted agreement with an ideal which can only be attained by education of every individual in a real understanding of themselves and their responsibilities in sex matters. it is due to the fault of parents and teachers, rather than their own, that many men and women are to-day paying the penalty of having misused or abused this divinely implanted instinct. _the law of bi-sexual reproduction_ it is one of nature's plans that in the genesis of a new individual two individuals should take a share. this holds good throughout the whole range of living things except the lower forms of plant and animal life, such as fungi and animalcule. but, with one or two individual exceptions, as plants and animals evolve, the union of two elements, male and female, is needed to start the amazingly complex process of building a new individual. thus in flowers the stamens, the pollen bearers, provide the male element which, through the intermediary of the pistils, fertilizes the egg in the vesicle. in the higher animals the egg or ovum is produced by the female, and is fertilized by the sperm-cell produced by the male. the necessary union between these two essential elements is attained in various ways. thus the female salmon deposits her eggs on a convenient spot in the bed of a stream and the attendant male salmon then projects over them the spermatozoa. in the higher animals there is a further development, and special organs are evolved to ensure the conjunction of the two elements. i have not space to describe in detail the effect of this union of the two cells, generally spoken of as fertilization. it may be found fully recorded step by step in any biological manual. very briefly, the sperm-cells, which are active, freely moving units, swarm round the egg-cell and one of them eventually enters it. the essential part of the cells, namely the nuclei, coalesce into one nucleus, and an active process of cell division and multiplication is at once started. the single cell divides into two daughter cells, then again into four, and so on. very early in development, the cells, which at first appear similar, become differentiated into different types, but the whole ordered sequence of the development of an embryo is achieved by this cell division and multiplication. each original cell contains a substance which, on account of its being easily colorable with artificial stains, is called chromatin, and this chromatin is believed to be the bearer of the hereditary qualities. the cell division is so arranged that each new cell receives an equal share of the male and female chromatin, and this process is continued in every case of cell division, so that eventually, in every part of our bodies, the dual inheritance remains complete. but though both parents have thus an equal share in the cellular elements of the new life, it is the female whose reproductive organs provide for its nourishment and protection until birth takes place. _the human sex organs_ in the female these consist of the womb or uterus, the ovaries, and a canal called the vagina which leads from the lower end of the uterus to an external opening, the vulva. the ovaries, two in number, are situated one on each side of the uterus. the uterus, which is pear-shaped, with the apex downwards, has three openings, one at the apex and one at each side at the upper part. these two upper openings are provided with a tubule extension, the fallopian tubes, whose outer ends are fringed and lie in close relation to the ovaries. the ova or egg-cells are developed in the ovaries, and through a complex and elaborate process a single cell comes to maturity from time to time. it is then discharged into the open end of the fallopian tube, reaches thereby the uterus, and if not fertilized is discharged through the lower opening of the uterus into the vagina. it is not known exactly when this discharge of ova takes place, but it is believed to coincide more or less with the monthly period. if, however, fertilization of the ovum takes place, it is not discharged, but remains in the uterus. the lining membrane of the uterus grows round and envelops it, and the wonderful process of cell division and multiplication proceeds which results in the growth and development of a child. these various organs are situated in the lower part of the abdomen, within the protection of the bony pelvis or basin. this pelvis is, compared with the male pelvis, broad and shallow, to provide for the passage of the fully developed child at birth. the vagina is the passage by which, during the birth process, the child reaches the outer world, and it is also the sex organ by which, in the female, the union of the male and female elements, of which we have spoken, takes place in the sex act. the male sex organs consist of the testicles, in which the sperm-cells or spermatozoa are evolved, of a coiled duct leading there from, and of the distinctive male sex organ, the penis. this last serves the double purpose of providing an exit for the contents of the bladder and for that emission of the spermatozoa which occurs in the sex act. there are also certain glands situated in close relation to this duct which provide a fluid which is emitted at the same time as the spermatozoa, the whole being termed the seminal fluid. it is thus clear that in both sexes there are essential reproductive organs, the ovaries in the one case, the testicles in the other, providing respectively ova and sperm-cells, and there are also organs for the purpose of securing the union of these two elements, namely the vagina in the female and the penis in the male. these two sets of organs form the primary sex characteristics or actual sex organs. _the sex act_ the special process which secures this union of the male and female elements is termed copulation or coitus. it takes place in all warm-blooded animals, as well as many others, but in man, with his highly developed mental and psychical qualities, it is a truly complex experience in which body, mind and soul all take their part. physically its central fact is the ejaculation of the seminal fluid by the male and its reception by the female, and this culmination with its psychical concomitants is spoken of as the orgasm. before coitus is feasible, the organs designed for the purpose have to be brought into an appropriate state for its consummation. the penis and the vulva are alike furnished with erectile tissue. the penis has to be erected in order to penetrate into the vagina, while the female organs add their share in facilitating the act both by the erection of the tissue round the vulva and by the outpouring of a lubricating secretion which bathes all the parts. the mechanism of this is a nervous one, and its originating cause while partly physical is chiefly mental, due to the emotions aroused by love and courtship, and thus in every act of coitus properly realized, an essential preliminary is an abbreviated courtship. this initial stage has been described as the stage of tumescence, and is succeeded by the introduction of the male organ into the vagina. a motor nerve discharge follows which produces ejaculation of the seminal fluid and is for the male the climax of the orgasm. the female is, however, by no means passive; motor nerve discharges take place leading to rhythmic contraction of the vagina, and she experiences, or should experience, a similar orgasm to the male. the climax is followed in both by a feeling of satisfaction and repose which generally issues in refreshing sleep. it is to be noted, however, that in the female the whole process is apt to be slower than in the male. her orgasm frequently coincides with the male, but often it comes later. if this is not realized by her partner, and inconsiderate haste be practiced, then, in place of satisfaction, a state of nervous tension may remain, which is not only psychically deleterious, but, if repeated, may lead to actual illness. i have spoken of the sex act as it should be, a fine and lofty emotional experience of two people between whom is the bond of love. it is true that in the female an entirely passive part is physiologically possible, and it is also true that in the male, who is biologically the hunting and pursuing animal, spontaneous desires arise from time to time which are too often accorded a bodily and disharmonious satisfaction. disharmonious because it cannot be too strongly insisted upon that the completely satisfactory realization of the sex act involves the participation of every side of human nature, spiritual and physical, and is the outcome of an intense desire for perfect unity with the beloved. hence mere bodily satisfaction of sensuous desire must have a disharmonious and deteriorating effect, because it ignores a basal fact of man, namely spirit, and leaves that side of him starved and unsatisfied. and the same is true of all sexual aberrations and perversions. though they may seem at the moment to be unimportant, the fact remains that they are sins against both the spirit and the flesh, and are followed inexorably by their own punishment. it is argued by some that the sexual act should be restricted to occasions, when there is a definite intention of begetting children. this does not seem either reasonable or desirable. nature's plans were certainly, in the case of human beings, not constructed on that basis. it would introduce an element of calculation and deliberation into what is naturally a finely spontaneous thing, and it would put a quite unnecessary, and in some cases, at least, a harmful, strain upon two people. as havelock ellis has put it: "even if sexual relationships had no connection with procreation whatever, they would still be justifiable, and are, indeed, an indispensable aid to the best moral development of the individual; for it is only in so intimate a relationship as that of sex that the finest graces and aptitudes of life have full scope." this does not imply that married life does not call for the exercise of self-restraint and continence, in this as in other respects. those who regard marital relations as an opportunity for unbridled sexual indulgence are not likely to win success in an adventure of considerable difficulty in which all that is fine in man or woman will find full scope for development. but it does mean that sexual intimacy has a value in itself as an expression in the terms of the body of the love which unites husband and wife, and that, when duly controlled, it leads to health and general harmony. youth and sex dangers and safeguards for girls and boys by mary scharlieb, m.d., m.s., and f. arthur sibly, m.a., ll.d. contents. part i.: girls. by mary scharlieb, m.d., m.s. introduction i. changes observable during puberty and adolescence in girls ii. our duties towards adolescent girls iii. care of the adolescent girl in sickness iv. mental and moral training v. the final aim of education part ii.: boys. by f. arthur sibly, m.a., ll.d. preface to the second edition introductory note i. prevalence of impurity among boys: the author's own experience ii. prevalence of impurity among boys: the opinions of canon lyttelton, dr. dukes and others iii. causes of the prevalence of impurity among boys iv. results of youthful impurity v. sex knowledge is compatible with perfect refinement and innocence vi. conditions under which purity teaching is best given: remedial and curative measures note to correspondents part i.: girls. by mary scharlieb, m.d., m.s. introduction. probably the most important years in anyone's life are those eight or ten preceding the twenty-first birthday. during these years _heredity_, one of the two great developmental factors, bears its crop, and the seeds sown before birth and during childhood come to maturity. during these years also the other great developmental force known as _environment_ has full play, the still plastic nature is moulded by circumstances, and the influence of these two forces is seen in the manner of individual that results. this time is generally alluded to under two heads: ( ) puberty, ( ) adolescence. by puberty we understand the period when the reproductive organs are developed, the boy or girl ceasing to be the neutral child and acquiring the distinctive characteristics of man or woman. the actual season of puberty varies in different individuals from the eleventh to the sixteenth year, and although the changes during this time are not sudden, they are comparatively rapid. by adolescence we understand the time during which the individual is approximating to the adult type, puberty having been already accomplished. adolescence corresponds to the latter half of the developmental period, and may be prolonged even up to twenty-five years. chapter i. changes observable during puberty and adolescence in girls. . changes in the bodily framework.--during this period the girl's skeleton not only grows remarkably in size, but is also the subject of well-marked alterations and development. among the most evident changes are those which occur in the shape and inclination of the pelvis. during the years of childhood the female pelvis has a general resemblance to that of the male, but with the advent of puberty the vertical portion of the hip bones becomes expanded and altered in shape, it becomes more curved, and its inner surface looks less directly forward and more towards its fellow bone of the other side. the brim of the pelvis, which in the child is more or less heart-shaped, becomes a wide oval, and consequently the pelvic girdle gains considerably in width. the heads of the thigh bones not only actually, in consequence of growth, but also relatively, in consequence of change of shape in the pelvis, become more widely separated from each other than they are in childhood, and hence the gait and the manner of running alters greatly in the adult woman. at the same time the angle made by the junction of the spinal column with the back of the pelvis, known as the sacro-vertebral angle, becomes better marked, and this also contributes to the development of the characteristic female type. no doubt the female type of pelvis can be recognised in childhood, and even before birth, but the differences of male and female pelves before puberty are so slight that it requires the eye of an expert to distinguish them. the very remarkable differences that are found between the adult male and the adult female pelvis begin to appear with puberty and develop rapidly, so that no one could mistake the pelvis of a properly developed girl of sixteen or eighteen years of age for that of a boy. these differences are due in part to the action of the muscles and ligaments on the growing bones, in part to the weight of the body from above and the reaction of the ground from beneath, but they are also largely due to the growth and development of the internal organs peculiar to the woman. all these organs exist in the normal infant at birth, but they are relatively insignificant, and it is not until the great developmental changes peculiar to puberty occur that they begin to exercise their influence on the shape of the bones. this is proved by the fact that in those rare cases in which the internal organs of generation are absent, or fail to develop, there is a corresponding failure in the pelvis to alter into the normal adult shape. the muscles of the growing girl partake in the rapid growth and development of her bony framework. sometimes the muscles outgrow the bones, causing a peculiar lankiness and slackness of figure, and in other girls the growth of the bones appears to be too rapid for the muscles, to which fact a certain class of "growing pain" has been attributed. another part of the body that develops rapidly during these momentous years is the bust. the breasts become large, and not only add to the beauty of the girl's person, but also manifestly prepare by increase of their glandular elements for the maternal function of suckling infants. of less importance so far as structure is concerned, but of great importance to female loveliness and attractiveness, are the changes that occur in the clearing and brightening of the complexion, the luxuriant growth, glossiness, and improved colour of the hair, and the beauty of the eyes, which during the years which succeed puberty acquire a new and singularly attractive expression. the young girl's hands and feet do not grow in proportion with her legs and arms, and appear to be more beautifully shaped when contrasted with the more fully developed limb. with regard to the internal organs, the most important are those of the pelvis. the uterus, or womb, destined to form a safe nest for the protection of the child until it is sufficiently developed to maintain an independent existence, increases greatly in all its dimensions and undergoes certain changes in shape; and the ovaries, which are intended to furnish the ovules, or eggs (the female contribution towards future human beings), also develop both in size and in structure. owing to rapid growth and to the want of stability of the young girl's tissues, the years immediately succeeding puberty are not only those of rapid physiological change, but they are those during which irreparable damage may be done unless those who have the care of young girls understand what these dangers are, how they are produced, and how they may be averted. with regard to the bony skeleton, lateral curvature of the spine is, in mild manifestation, very frequent, and is too common even in the higher degrees. the chief causes of this deformity are: ( ) the natural softness and want of stability in the rapidly growing bones and muscles; ( ) the rapid development of the bust, which throws a constantly increasing burden on these weakened muscles and bones; and ( ) the general lassitude noticeable amongst girls at this time which makes them yield to the temptation to stand on one leg, to cross one leg over the other, and to write or read leaning on one elbow and bending over the table, whereas they ought to be sitting upright. unless constant vigilance is exerted, deformity is pretty sure to occur--a deformity which always has a bad influence over the girl's health and strength, and which, in those cases where it is complicated by the pathological softness of bones found in cases of rickets, may cause serious alteration in shape and interfere with the functions of the pelvis in later life. . changes in the mental nature.--these are at least as remarkable as the changes in the bodily framework. there is a slight diminution in the power of memorising, but the faculties of attention, of reasoning, and of imagination, develop rapidly. probably the power of appreciation of the beautiful appears about this time, a faculty which is usually dormant during childhood. more especially is this true with regard to the beauty of landscape; the child seldom enjoys a landscape as such, although isolated beauties, such as that of flowers, may sometimes be appreciated. as might be anticipated, all things are changing with the child during these momentous years: its outlook on life, its appreciation of other people and of itself, alter greatly and continuously. the wonderfully rapid growth and alterations in structure of the generative organs have their counterpart in the mental and moral spheres; there are new sensations which are scarcely recognised and are certainly not understood by the subject: vague feelings of unrest, ill-comprehended desires, and an intense self-consciousness take the place of the unconscious egoism of childhood. the processes of nature as witnessed in the season of spring have their counterpart in the changes that occur during the early years of adolescence. the earth warmed by the more direct rays of the sun and softened by recurring showers is transformed in a few weeks from its bare and dry winter garb into the wonderful beauty of spring. this yearly miracle fails to impress us as it should do because we have witnessed it every year of our lives, and so, too, the great transformation from child to budding woman fails to make its appeal to our understanding and sympathy because it is of so common occurrence. if it were possible for adults to really remember their own feelings and aspirations in adolescent years, or if it were possible for us with enlightened sympathy to gain access to the enchanted garden of youth, we should be more adequate guides for the boys and girls around us. as it is we entirely fail to appreciate the heights of their ambitions, hopes, and joys, and we have no measure with which to plumb the depths of their fears, their disappointments, and their doubts. the transition between radiant joy and confident hope in the future to a miserable misinterpretation of sensations both physical and psychical are rapid. it is the unknown that is terrible to us all, and to the child the changes in its body, the changes in its soul and spirit, which we pass by as commonplace, are full of suggestions of abnormality, of disaster, and of death. young people suffer much from the want of comprehension and intelligent sympathy of their elders, much also from their own ignorance and too fervid imagination. the instability of the bodily tissues and the variability of their functions find a counterpart in the instability of the mental and moral natures and in the variability of their phenomena. adolescents indeed "never continue in one stay;" left to themselves they will begin many pursuits, but persevere with, and finish, nothing. youth is the time for rapidly-succeeding friends, lovers, and heroes. the schoolfellow or teacher who is adored to-day may become the object of indifference or even of dislike to-morrow. ideas as to the calling or profession to be adopted change rapidly, and opinions upon religion, politics, &c., vary from day to day. it is little wonder that there is a special type of adolescent insanity differing entirely from that of later years, one in which, owing to the want of full development of mental faculties, there are no systematised delusions, but a rapid change from depression and melancholy to exaltation bordering on mania. those parents and guardians who know something of the peculiar physical and mental conditions of adolescence will be best prepared both to treat the troubles wisely, and by sympathy to help the young people under their care to help themselves. one of the phenomena of adolescence is the dawn of the sexual instinct. this frequently develops without the child knowing or understanding what it means. more especially is this true of young girls whose home life has been completely sheltered, and who have not had the advantage, or disadvantage, of that experience of life which comes early to those who live in crowded tenements or amongst the outspoken people of the countryside. the children of the poorer classes have, in a way, too little to learn: they are brought up from babyhood in the midst of all domestic concerns, and the love affairs of their elders are intimately known to them, therefore quite early in adolescence "ilka lassie has her laddie," and although the attraction be short-lived and the affection very superficial, yet it is sufficient to give an added interest to life, and generally leads to an increased care in dress and an increased desire to make the most of whatever good looks the girl may possess. the girl in richer homes is probably much more bewildered by her unwonted sensations and by the attraction she begins to feel towards the society of the opposite sex. probably in these days, when there is more intermingling of the sexes, the girl's outlook is franker, and, so far as this is concerned, healthier, than it was forty or fifty years ago. it is very amusing to elders to hear a boy scarcely in his teens talking of "his best girl," or to see the little lass wearing the colour or ornament that her chosen lad admires. it is true that the "best girl" varies from week to week if not from day to day, but this special regard for a member of the opposite sex announces the dawn of a simple sentiment that will, a few years later, blossom out into the real passion which may fix a life's destiny. the mental and moral changes that occur during the early years of adolescence call for help and sympathy of an even higher order than do the changes in physical structure and function. some of these changes, such as shyness and reticence, may be the cause of considerable suffering to the girl and a perplexity to her elders, but on the whole they are comparatively easy of comprehension, and are more likely to elicit sympathy and kindness than blame. it is far otherwise with such changes as unseemly laughter, rough manners, and a nameless difference in the girl's manner when in the presence of the other sex. a girl who is usually quiet, modest, and sensible in her behaviour may suddenly become boisterous and self-asserting, there is a great deal of giggling, and altogether a disagreeable transformation which too frequently involves the girl in trouble with her mother or other guardian, and is very frequently harshly judged by the child herself. in proportion as self-discipline has been taught and self-control acquired, these outward manifestations are less marked, but in the case of the great majority of girls there are, at any rate, impulses having their origin in the yet immature and misunderstood sex impulse which cause the young woman herself annoyance and worry although she is as far from understanding their origin as her elders may be. the remedies for these troubles are various. first in order of time and in importance comes a habit of self-control and self-discipline that ought to be coeval with conscious life. fathers and mothers are themselves to blame if their girl lapses from good behaviour when they have not inculcated ideals of obedience, duty, and self-discipline from babyhood. it seems such a little thing to let the child have its run of the cake-basket and the sweet-box; it is in the eyes of many parents so unimportant whether the little one goes to bed at the appointed time or ten minutes later; they argue that it can make no difference to her welfare in life or to her eternal destiny whether her obedience is prompt and cheerful or grudging and imperfect. one might as well argue that the proper planting of a seed, its regular watering, and the influences of sun and wind make no difference to the life of a tree. we have to bear carefully in mind that those who sow an act reap a habit, who sow a habit reap a character, who sow a character reap a destiny both in this world and in that which is eternal. it is mere selfishness, unconscious, no doubt, but none the less fatal, when parents to suit their own convenience omit to inculcate obedience, self-restraint, habits of order and unselfishness in their children. youth is the time when the soul is apt to be shaken by sorrow's power and when stormy passions rage. the tiny rill starting from the mountainside can be readily deflected east or west, but the majestic river hastening to the sea is beyond all such arbitrary directions. so it is with the human being: the character and habit are directed easily in infancy, with difficulty during childhood, but they are well-nigh impossible of direction by the time adolescence is established. those fathers and mothers who desire to have happiness and peace in connection with their adolescent boys and girls must take the trouble to direct them aright during the plastic years of infancy and childhood. all natural instincts implanted in us by him who knew what was in the heart of man are in themselves right and good, but the exercise of these instincts may be entirely wrong in time or in degree. the sexual instinct, the affinity of boy to girl, the love of adult man and woman, are right and holy when exercised aright, and it is the result of "spoiling" when these good and noble instincts are wrongly exercised. all who love their country, all who love their fellow men, and all who desire that the kingdom of god should come, must surely do everything that is in their power to awaken the fathers and mothers of the land to a sense of their heavy responsibility and of their high privilege. in this we are entirely separated from and higher than the rest of the animal creation, in that on us lies the duty not only of calling into life a new generation of human beings, but also the still higher duty, the still greater privilege and the wider responsibility of bringing up those children to be themselves the worthy parents of the future, the supporters of their country's dignity, and joyful citizens of the household of god. another characteristic of adolescence is to be found in gregariousness, or what has been sometimes called the _gang spirit_. boys, and to almost as great a degree girls, form themselves into companies or gangs, which frequently possess a high degree of organisation. they elaborate special languages, they have their own form of shorthand, their passwords, their rites and ceremonies. the gang has its elected leader, its officers, its members; and although it is liable to sudden disruption and seldom outlasts a few terms of school-life, each succeeding club or company is for the time being of paramount importance in the estimation of its members. the gang spirit may at times cause trouble and lead to anxiety, but if rightly directed it may be turned to good account. it is the germ of the future capacity to organise men and women into corporate life--the very method by which much public and national work is readily accomplished, but which is impossible to accomplish by individual effort. . changes in the religion of the adolescent.--the religion of the adolescent is apt to be marked by fervour and earnest conviction, the phenomenon of "conversion" almost constantly occurring during adolescence. the girl looks upon eternal truths from a completely new standpoint, or at any rate with eyes that have been purged and illuminated by the throes of conversion. from a period of great anxiety and doubt she emerges to a time of intense love and devotion, to an eager desire to prove herself worthy, and to offer a sacrifice of the best powers she possesses. unfortunately for peace of mind, the happy epoch succeeding conversion not unfrequently ends in a dismal time of intellectual doubt and spiritual darkness. just as the embryonic love of the youthful adolescent leads to a time when the opposite sex is rather an object of dislike than of attraction, so the fervour of early conversion is apt to lead to a time of desolation; but just as the incomplete sex love of early adolescence finds its antitype and fine flower in the later fully developed love of honourable man and woman, so does the too rapturous and uncalculating religious devotion of these early years revive after the period of doubt, transfigured and glorified into the religious conviction and devotion which makes the strength, the joy, and the guiding principle of adult life. much depends on the circumstances and people surrounding the adolescent. her unbounded capacity for hero-worship leads in many instances to a conscious or unconscious copying of parent, guardian, or teacher; and although the ideals of the young are apt to far outpace those of the adult whose days of illusion are over, yet they are probably formed on the same type. one sees this illustrated by generations in the same family holding much the same religious or political opinions and showing the same aptitude for certain professions, games, and pursuits. much there is in heredity, but probably there is still more in environment. chapter ii. our duties towards adolescent girls. these may be briefly summed up by saying that we have to provide adolescent girls with all things that are necessary for their souls and their bodies, but any such bald and wholesale enunciation of our duty helps but little in clearing one's ideas and in pointing out the actual manner in which we are to perform it. first, with regard to the bodies of adolescent girls; their primary needs, just like the primary needs of all living beings, are food, warmth, shelter, exercise and rest, with special care in sickness. food.--in spite of the great advance of knowledge in the present day, it is doubtful whether much practical advance has been made in the dietetics of children and adolescents, and it is to be feared that our great schools are especially deficient in this most important respect. even when the age of childhood is past, young people require a much larger amount of milk than is usually included in their diet sheet. it would be well for them to begin the day with porridge and milk or some such cereal preparation. coffee or cocoa made with milk should certainly have the preference over tea for breakfast, and in addition to the porridge or other such dish, fish, egg, or bacon, with plenty of bread and butter, should form the morning repast. the midday meal should consist of fresh meat, fish, or poultry, with an abundance of green vegetables and a liberal helping of sweet pudding. the articles of diet which are most deficient in our lists are milk, butter, and sugar. there is an old prejudice against sugar which is quite unfounded so far as the healthy individual is concerned. cane sugar has recently been proved to be a most valuable muscle food, and when taken in the proper way for sweetening beverages, fruit, and puddings, it is entirely good. the afternoon meal should consist chiefly of bread and butter and milk or cocoa, with a fair proportion of simple, well-made cake, and in the case where animal food has been taken both at breakfast and dinner, the evening meal might well be bread and butter, bread and milk, or milk pudding with stewed or fresh fruit. but it is different in the case of those adolescents whose midday meal is necessarily slight, and who ought to have a thoroughly good dinner or supper early in the evening; one would have thought it unnecessary to mention alcohol in speaking of the dietary of young people were it not that, strange to say, beer is still given at some of our public schools. it is extraordinary that wise and intelligent people should still give beer to young boys and girls at the very time when what they want is strength and not stimulus, food for the growing frame and nothing to stimulate the already exuberant passions. an invariable rule with regard to the food of children should be that their meals should be regular, that they should consist of good, varied, nourishing food taken at regular hours, and that nothing should be eaten between meals. the practice of eating biscuits, fruit, and sweets between meals during childhood and adolescence not only spoils the digestion and impairs the nutrition at the time, but it is apt to lay the foundation of a constant craving for something which is only too likely to take the form of alcoholic craving in later years. it is impossible for the stomach to perform its duty satisfactorily if it is never allowed rest, and the introduction of stray morsels of food at irregular times prevents this, and introduces confusion into the digestive work, because there will be in the stomach at the same time food in various stages of digestion. warmth.--warmth is one of the influences essential to health and to sound development, and although artificial warmth is more urgently required by little children and by old people than it is by young adults, still, if their bodies are to come to their utmost possible perfection, they require suitable conditions of temperature. this is provided in the winter partly by artificial heating of houses and partly by the wearing of suitable clothing. ideal clothing is loose of texture and woven of wool, although a fairly good substitute can be obtained in materials that are made from cotton treated specially. this is not the time or place in which to insist on the very grave dangers that accompany the use of ordinary flannelette, but a caution must be addressed in passing to those who provide clothing for others. in providing clothes it is necessary to remember the two reasons for their existence: ( ) to cover the body, and ( ) as far as possible to protect a large area of its surface against undue damp and cold. adolescents, as a rule, begin early to take a great interest in their clothes. from the time that the appreciation of the opposite sex commences, the child who has hitherto been indifferent or even slovenly in the matter of clothing takes a very living interest in it; indeed the adornment of person and the minute care devoted to details of the toilet by young people of both sexes remind one irresistibly of the preening of the feathers, the strutting and other antics of birds before their mates. girls especially are apt to forget the primary object of clothing, and to think of it too much as a means of adornment. this leads to excesses and follies such as tight waists, high-heeled shoes, to the ungainly crinoline or to indecent scantiness of skirts. direct interference in these matters is badly tolerated, but much may be accomplished both by example and by cultivating a refined and artistic taste in sumptuary matters. sleep.--amongst the most important of the factors that conduce to well-being both of body and mind must be reckoned an adequate amount of sleep. this has been made the subject of careful inquiry by dr. dukes of rugby and miss alice ravenhill. both these trained and careful observers agree that the majority of young people get far too little rest and sleep. we have to remember that although fully-grown adults will take rest when they can get it in the daytime, young people are too active, and sometimes too restless, to give any repose to brain or muscle except during sleep. in the early years of adolescence ten hours sleep is none too much; even an adult in full work ought to have eight hours, and still more is necessary for the rapidly-growing, continually-developing, and never-resting adolescent. it is unfortunately a fact that even in the boarding schools of the well-to-do the provision of sleep is too limited, and for the children of the poor, whose homes are far from comfortable and who are accustomed to doing pretty nearly as their elders do, the night seldom begins before eleven or even twelve o'clock. it is one of the saddest sights of london to see small children dancing on the pavement in front of the public-houses up to a very late hour, while groups of loafing boys and hoydenish girls stand about at the street corners half the night. there is little wonder that the morning finds them heavy and unrefreshed, and that schoolwork suffers severely from want of the alert and vigorous attention that might be secured by a proper night's sleep. great harm is done by allowing children to take work home with them from school; if possible, the day's work should finish with school hours, and the scanty leisure should be spent in healthy exercise or in sleep. overcrowding.--in considering the question of adequate sleep it would be well to think of the conditions of healthy sleep. for sleep to be refreshing and health-giving, the sleeper ought to have a comfortable bed and an abundant supply of fresh air. unfortunately the great majority of our people both in town and country do not enjoy these advantages. in both town and country there is a great deficiency of suitable dwellings at rents that can be paid with the usual rate of wages. in consequence families are crowded into one, two, or three rooms, and even in the case of people far above the status of day labourers and artisans it is the exception and not the rule for each individual to have a separate bed. the question of ventilation is certainly better understood than it was a few years ago, but still leaves much to be desired, and there is still an urgent necessity for preaching the gospel of the open window. exercise.--in considering the question of the exercise of adolescents, one's thoughts immediately turn to athletics, games, and dancing. as a nation the english have always been fond of athletics, and have attributed to the influence of such team games as cricket and football not only their success in various competitions but also their success in the sterner warfare of life. this success has been obtained on the tented field and in the work of exploring, mountaineering, and other pursuits that make great demand not only on nerve and muscle but also on strength of character and powers of endurance. team games appear to be the especial property of adolescents, for young children are more or less individualistic and solitary in many of their games, but boys and girls alike prefer team games from the pre-adolescent age up to adult life. it is certain that no form of exercise is superior to these games: they call into play every muscle of the body, they make great demands on accuracy of eye and coordination, they also stimulate and develop habits of command, obedience, loyalty, and _esprit de corps_. in the great public schools of england, and in the private schools which look up to them as their models, team games are played, as one might say, in a religious spirit. the boy or girl who attempts to take an unfair advantage, or who habitually plays for his or her own hand, is quickly made to feel a pariah and an outcast. among the greatest blessings that are conveyed to the children of the poorer classes is the instruction not only in the technique of team games but also in the inoculation of the spirit in which they ought to be played. it is absolutely necessary that the highest ideals connected with games should be handed down, for thus the children who perhaps do not always have the highest ideals before them in real life may learn through this mimic warfare how the battle of life must be fought and what are the characters of mind and body that deserve and ensure success. it has been well said that those who make the songs of a nation help largely to make its character, and equally surely those who teach and control the games of the adolescents are making or marring a national destiny. among the means of physical and moral advancement may be claimed gymnastics. and here, alas, this nation can by no means claim to be _facile princeps_. not only have we been relatively slow in adopting properly systematised exercises, but even to the present day the majority of elementary schools are without properly fitted gymnasia and duly qualified teachers. the small and relatively poor scandinavian nations have admirably fitted gymnasia in connection with their _folkschule_, which correspond to our elementary schools. the exercises are based on those systematised by ling; each series is varied, and is therefore the more interesting, and each lesson commences with simple, easily performed movements, leading on to those that are more elaborate and fatiguing, and finally passing through a descending series to the condition of repose. the gymnasia where such exercises are taught in england are relatively few and far between, and it is lamentable to find that many excellent and well-appointed schools for children, whose parents pay large sums of money for their education, have no properly equipped gymnasia nor adequately trained teachers. when the question is put, "how often do you have gymnastics at your school?" the answer is frequently, "we have none," or, "half an hour once a week." exercises such as ling's not only exercise every muscle in the body in a scientific and well-regulated fashion, but being performed by a number of pupils at once in obedience to words of command, discipline, co-operation, obedience to teachers, and loyalty to comrades, are taught at the same time. the deepest interest attaches to many of the more complex exercises, while some of them make large demands on the courage and endurance of the young people. in scandinavia the state provides knickerbockers, tunics, and gymnasium shoes for those children whose parents are too poor to provide them; and again, in scandinavia there is very frequently the provision of bathrooms in which the pupils can have a shower bath and rub-down after the exercises. these bathrooms in connection with the gymnasia need not necessarily be costly; indeed many of them in stockholm and denmark merely consist of troughs in the cement floor, on the edge of which the children sit in a row while they receive a shower bath over their heads and bodies. the feet get well washed in the trough, and the smart douche of water on head and shoulders acts as an admirable tonic. another exercise which ought to be specially dear to a nation of islanders is swimming, and this, again, is a relatively cheap luxury too much neglected amongst us. certainly there are public baths, but there are not enough to permit of all the elementary school children bathing even once a week, and still less have they the opportunity of learning to swim. there is much to be done yet before we can be justly proud of our national system of education. we must not lose sight of the ideal with which we started--viz. that we should endeavour to do the best that is possible for our young people in body, soul, and spirit. the three parts of our nature are intertwined, and a duty performed to one part has an effect on the whole. chapter iii. care of the adolescent girl in sickness. if measured by the death-rate the period of adolescence should cause us little anxiety, but a careful examination into the state of health of children of school age shows us that it is a time in which disorders of health abound, and that although these disorders are not necessarily, nor even generally, fatal, they are frequent, they spoil the child's health, and inevitably bear fruit in the shape of an injurious effect on health in after life. that the health of adolescents should be unstable is what we ought to expect from the general instability of the organism due to the rapidity of growth and the remarkable developmental changes that are crowded into these few years. rapidity of growth and increase of weight are very generally recognised, although their effects upon health are apt to be overlooked. on the other hand, the still more remarkable development that occurs in adolescence is very generally ignored. as a general rule the infectious fevers, the so-called childish diseases--such as measles, chicken-pox, and whooping-cough--are less common in adolescence than they are in childhood, while the special diseases of internal organs due to their overwork, or to their natural tendency to degeneration, is yet far in the future. the chief troubles of adolescents appear to be due to overstress which accompanies rapid development, to the difficulty of the whole organism in adapting itself to new functions and altered conditions, and no doubt in some measure to the unwisdom both of the young people and of their advisers. this is not the place for a general treatise on the diseases of adolescents, but a few of the commonest and most obvious troubles should be noted. the teeth.--it is quite surprising to learn what a very large percentage of young soldiers are refused enlistment in the army on account of decayed or defective teeth, and anyone who has examined the young women candidates for the civil service and for missionary societies must have recognised that their teeth are in no way better than those of the young men. in addition to several vacancies in the dental series, it is by no means unusual to find that a candidate has three or even five teeth severely decayed. the extraordinary thing is that not only the young people and their parents very generally fail to recognise the gravity of this condition, but that even their medical advisers have frequently acquiesced in a state of things that is not only disagreeable but dangerous. a considerable proportion of people with decayed teeth have also suppuration about the margins of the gums and around the roots of the teeth. this pyorrhoea alveolaris, as it is called, constitutes a very great danger to the patient's health, the purulent discharge teems with poisonous micro-organisms, which being constantly swallowed are apt to give rise to septic disease in various organs. it is quite probable that some cases of gastric ulcer are due to this condition, so too are some cases of appendicitis, it has been known to cause a peculiarly fatal form of heart disease, and it is also responsible for the painful swelling of the joints of the fingers, with wasting of the muscles and general weakness which goes by the name of rheumatoid arthritis. in addition to this there are many local affections, such as swollen glands in the neck, that may be due to this poisonous discharge. one would think that the mere knowledge that decayed teeth can cause all this havoc would lead to a grand rush to the dentist, but so far from being the case, doctors find it extremely difficult to induce their patients to part with this unsightly, evil-smelling, and dangerous decayed tooth. the throat.--some throat affections, such as diphtheria and quinsy, are well known and justly dreaded; and although many a child's life has been sacrificed to the slowness of its guardians to procure medical advice and the health-restoring antitoxin, yet on the whole the public conscience is awake to this duty. far otherwise is it with chronic diseases of the tonsils: they may be riddled with small cysts, they may be constantly in a condition of subacute inflammation dependent on a septic condition, but no notice is taken except when chill, constipation, or a general run-down state of health aggravates the chronic into a temporary acute trouble. and yet it is perhaps not going too far to say that for one young girl who is killed or invalided rapidly by diphtheria there are hundreds who are condemned to a quasi-invalid life owing to this persistent supply of poison to the system. another condition of the throat which causes much ill-health is well known to the public under the name of adenoids. unfortunately, however, many people have an erroneous idea that children will "grow out of adenoids." even if this were true it is extremely unwise to wait for so desirable an event. adenoids may continue to grow, and during the years that they are present they work great mischief. owing to the blocking of the air-passages the mouth is kept constantly open, greatly to the detriment of the throat and lungs. owing to the interference with the circulation at the back of the nose and throat, a considerable amount both of apparent and real stupidity is produced, the brain works less well than it ought, and the child's appearance is ruined by the flat, broad bridge of the nose and the gaping mouth. the tale of troubles due to adenoids is not even yet exhausted; a considerable amount of discharge collects about them which it is not easy to clear away, it undergoes very undesirable changes, and is then swallowed to the great detriment of the stomach and the digestion. the removal of septic tonsils and of adenoids is most urgently necessary, and usually involves little distress or danger. the change in the child's health and appearance that can thus be secured is truly wonderful, especially if it be taught, as it should be, to keep its mouth shut and to breathe through the nose. in the course of a few months the complexion will have cleared, the expression will have regained its natural intelligence, digestion will be well performed, and the child's whole condition will be that of alert vigour instead of one of listless and sullen indifference. errors of digestion.--from the consideration of certain states of the nose, mouth, and throat, it is easy to turn to what is so often their consequence. many forms of indigestion are due to the septic materials swallowed. it would not, however, be fair to say that all indigestion is thus caused; not infrequently indigestion is due to errors of diet, and here the blame must be divided between the poverty and ignorance of many parents and the self-will of adolescents. the foods that are best for young people--such as bread, milk, butter, sugar, and eggs--are too frequently scarce in their dietaries owing to their cost; and again, in the case of many girls whose parents are able and willing to provide them with a thoroughly satisfactory diet-sheet, dyspepsia is caused by their refusal to take what is good for them, and by their preference for unsuitable and indigestible viands. a further cause of indigestion must be sought in the haste with which food is too often eaten. the failure to rise at the appointed time leads to a hasty breakfast, and this must eventually cause indigestion. the food imperfectly masticated and not sufficiently mixed with saliva enters the stomach ill-prepared, and the hasty rush to morning school or morning work effectually prevents the stomach from dealing satisfactorily with the mass so hastily thrust into it. there is an old saying that "those whom the gods will destroy they first make mad," and in many instances young people who fall victims to the demon of dyspepsia owe their sorrows, if not to madness, at any rate to ignorance and want of consideration. the defective teeth, septic tonsils, discharging adenoids, poverty of their parents and their own laziness, all conspire to cause digestive troubles which bear a fruitful crop of further evils, for thus are caused such illnesses as anæmia and gastric ulcer. constipation claims a few words to itself. and here again we ought to consider certain septic processes. the refuse of the food should travel along the bowels at a certain rate, but if owing to sluggishness of their movements or to defects in the quality and amount of their secretion, the refuse is too long retained the masses become unduly dry, and, constantly shrinking in volume, are no longer capable of being urged along the tube at the proper rate. in consequence of this the natural micro-organisms of the intestine cease to be innocent and become troublesome; they lead in the long run to a peculiar form of blood-poisoning, and to so many diseased conditions that it is impossible to deal with them at the present moment. the existence of constipation is too often a signal for the administration of many doses of medicine. the wiser, the less harmful, and the more effectual method of dealing with it would be to endeavour to secure the natural action of the bowels by a change in the diet, which should contain more vegetable and less animal constituents. the patient should also be instructed to drink plenty of water, either hot or cold, a large glassful on going to bed and one on first awaking, and also if necessary an hour before each meal. steady exercise is also of very great service, and instead of starting so late as to have no time for walking to school or work, a certain portion of the daily journey should be done on foot. further, in all cases where it is possible, team games, gymnastics, and dancing should be called in to supplement the walk. headache.--headache may be due to so many different causes that it would be impossible in this little book to adequately consider them, but it would not be fair to omit to mention that in many cases the headache of young people is due to their want of spectacles. the idea that spectacles are only required by people advanced in life is by this time much shaken, but even now not only many parents object to their children enjoying this most necessary assistance to imperfect vision, but also employers may be found so foolish and selfish as to refuse to employ those persons who need to wear glasses. the folly as well as selfishness of this objection is demonstrated by the far better work done by a person whose vision has been corrected, and the absolute danger incurred by all who have to deal with machinery if vision is imperfect. among other causes for headache are the defects of mouth, throat, stomach, and bowels already described, because in all of them there is a supply of septic material to the blood which naturally causes headache and other serious symptoms. abnormalities of menstruation.--the normal period should occur at regular intervals about once a month. its duration and amount vary within wide limits, but in each girl it should remain true to her individual type, and it ought not to be accompanied by pain or distress. as a rule the period starts quite normally, and it is not until the girl's health has been spoiled by over-exertion of body or mind, by unwise exertion during the period, or by continued exposure to damp or cold, that it becomes painful and abnormal in time or in amount. one of the earliest signs of approaching illness--such as consumption, anæmia, and mental disorder--is to be found in the more or less sudden cessation of the period. this should always be taken as a danger-signal, and as indicating the need of special medical advice. another point that should enter into intimate talk with girls is to make them understand the co-relation of their own functions to the great destiny that is in store. a girl is apt to be both shocked and humiliated when she first hears of menstruation and its phenomena. should this function commence before she is told about it, she will necessarily look upon it with disgust and perhaps with fear. it is indeed a most alarming incident in the case of a girl who knows nothing about it, but if, before the advent of menstruation, it be explained to her that it is a sign of changes within her body that will gradually, after the lapse of some years, fit her also to take her place amongst the mothers of the land, her shame and fear will be converted into modest gladness, and she will readily understand why she is under certain restrictions, and has at times to give up work or pleasure in order that her development may be without pain, healthy, and complete. chapter iv. mental and moral training. the years of adolescence, during which rapid growth and development inevitably cause so much stress and frequently give rise to danger, are the very years in which the weight of school education necessarily falls most heavily. the children of the poor leave school at fourteen years of age, just the time when the children of the wealthier classes are beginning to understand the necessity of education and to work with a clearer realisation of the value and aim of lessons. the whole system of education has altered of late years, and school work is now conducted far more intelligently and with a greater appreciation of the needs and capacities of the pupils than it was some fifty years ago. work is made more interesting, the relation of different studies to each other is more adequately put in evidence, and the influence that school studies have on success in after life is more fully realised by all concerned. the system of training is, however, far from perfect. in the case of girls, more particularly, great care has to be exercised not to attempt to teach too much, and to give careful consideration to the physiological peculiarities of the pupils. it is impossible for girls who are undergoing such rapid physiological and psychical changes to be always equally able and fit for strenuous work. there are days in every girl's life when she is not capable of her best work, and when a wise and sympathetic teacher will see that it is better for her to do comparatively little. and yet these slack times are just those in which there is the greatest danger of a girl indulging in daydreams, and when her thoughts need to be more than usually under control. these times may be utilised for lighter subjects and for such manual work as does not need great physical exertion. it is not a good time for exercises, for games, for dancing, and for gardening, nor are they the days on which mathematics should be pressed, but they are days in which much supervision is needed, and when time should not be permitted to hang heavily on hand. just as there are days in which consideration should be shown, so too there are longer periods of time in which it is unwise for a girl to be pressed to prepare for or to undergo a strenuous examination. the brain of the girl appears to be as good as that of the boy, while her application, industry, and emulation are far in advance of his, but she has these physiological peculiarities, and if they are disregarded there will not only be an occasional disastrous failure in bodily or mental health, but girls as a class will fail to do the best work of which they are capable, and will fail to reap the fullest advantage from an education which is costly in money, time, and strength. it follows that the curriculum for girls presents greater difficulties than the curriculum for boys, and that those ladies who are responsible for the organisation of a school for girls need to be women of great resource, great patience, and endowed with much sympathetic insight. the adolescent girl will generally do little to help her teachers in this matter. she is incapable of recognising her own limitations, she is full of emulation, and is desirous of attaining and keeping a good position not only in her school but also in the university or in any other public body for whose examination she may present herself. the young girl most emphatically needs to be saved from herself, and she has to learn the lessons of obedience and of cheerful acquiescence in restrictions that certainly appear to her simply vexatious. one of the difficulties in private schools arises from the necessity of providing occupation for every hour of the waking day, while avoiding the danger of overwork with its accompanying exhaustion. in the solution of this problem such subjects as gymnastics, games, dancing, needlework, cooking, and domestic economy will come in as a welcome relief from the more directly intellectual studies, and equally as a relief to the conscientious but hard-pressed woman who is trying to save her pupils from the evils of unoccupied time on the one hand and undue mental pressure on the other. boys, and to a less extent girls, attending elementary schools who leave at fourteen are not likely to suffer in the same way or from the same causes. one of the difficulties in their case is that they leave school just when work is becoming interesting and before habits of study have been formed, indeed before the subjects taught have been thoroughly assimilated, and that therefore in the course of a few years little may be left of their painfully acquired and too scanty knowledge. free education has been given to the children of the poor for nearly fifty years, and yet the mothers who were schoolgirls in the seventies and eighties appear to have saved but little from the wreck of their knowledge except the power to sign their names and to read in an imperfect and blundering manner. here, too, there are many problems to be solved, one among them being the great necessity of endeavouring to correlate the lessons given in school to the work that the individual will have to perform in after life. it would appear as if the girls of the elementary schools, in addition to reading, writing, and simple arithmetic, sufficient to enable them to write letters, to read books, and to keep simple household accounts, ought to be taught the rudiments of cookery, the cutting out and making of garments, and the best methods of cleansing as applied to houses, household utensils and clothing. in addition, and as serious subjects, not merely as a recreation, they should be taught gymnastics, part singing and mother-craft. no doubt in individual schools much of this modification of the curriculum has been accomplished, but more remains to be done before we can be satisfied that we have done the best in our power to fit the children of the country for their life's work. another of the great problems connected with the children in elementary schools, a problem which, indeed, arises out of their leaving at fourteen, is that of the continuation school or evening school, and the system which is known as "half-timing." it is well known that although young people from fourteen to sixteen years of age are well able to profit by continued instruction, they are, with very few exceptions, not at all well adapted for commencing their life's work as industrials. the general incoherency and restlessness peculiar to that age frequently lead to a change of employment every few months, while their general irresponsibility and want of self-control lead to frequent disputes with foremen and other officials in factories and shops, in consequence of which the unfortunate child is constantly out of work. in proportion to the joy and pride caused by the realised capacity to earn money and by the sense of independence that employment brings, is the unhappiness, and in many cases the misery, due to unemployment, and to repeated failures to obtain and to keep an independent position. the boy or girl out of work has an uneasy feeling that he or she has not earned the just and expected share towards household expenses. the feeling of dependence and well-nigh of disgrace causes a rapid deterioration in health and spirits, and it is only too likely that in many instances where unemployment is continuous or frequently repeated, the unemployed will quickly become the unemployable. so far as the young people themselves are concerned, it would be nearly always an unmixed benefit that they should pass at fourteen into a technical school or continuation school, as the case may be. among the great difficulties to the solution of this problem is the fact that in many working-class households the few weekly shillings brought into the family store by the elder children are of very real importance, and although the raising of the age of possible employment and independence would enable the next generation to work better and to earn higher and more continuous wages, it is difficult for the parents to acquiesce in the present deprivation involved, even though it represents so much clear gain in the not distant future. at the present time there are evening schools, but this system does not work well. all busy people are well aware that after a hard day's work neither brain nor body is in the best possible condition for two or three hours of serious mental effort. the child who has spent the day in factory or shop has really pretty nearly used up all his or her available mental energy, and after the evening meal is naturally heavy, stupid, irritable, and altogether in a bad condition for further effort. the evenings ought to be reserved for recreation, for the gymnasium, the singing class, the swimming bath, and even for the concert and the theatre. the system of "half-timing" during ordinary school life does not work well, and it would be a great pity should a similar system be introduced in the hope of furthering the education of boys and girls who are just entering industrial life. there is reason to hope that a great improvement in education will be secured by mr. hayes fisher's bill. another subject to which the attention of patriots and philanthropists ought to be turned is the sort of employment open to children at school-leaving age. the greatest care should be taken to diminish the number of those who endeavour to achieve quasi-independence in those occupations which are well known as "blind alleys." in england it is rare that girls should seek these employments, but in scotland there is far too large a number of girl messengers. in this particular, the case of the girl is superior to that of the boy. the "tweeny" develops into housemaid or cook; the young girls employed in superior shops to wait on the elder shopwomen hope to develop into their successors, and the girls who nurse babies on the doorsteps are, after all, acquiring knowledge and dexterity that may fit them for domestic service or for the management of their own families a few years later. the girls of the richer classes have not the same difficulties as their poorer sisters. they generally remain at school until a much later age, and subsequently have the joy and stimulus of college life, of foreign travel, of social engagements, or of philanthropic enterprise. still, a residue remains even of girls of this class whose own inclinations, or whose family circumstances, lead to an aimless, purposeless existence, productive of much injury to both body and mind, and only too likely to end in hopeless ennui and nervous troubles. it should be thoroughly understood by parents and guardians that no matter what the girl's circumstances may be, she ought always to have an abundance of employment. the ideas of obligation and of duty should not be discarded when school and college life cease. the well-to-do girl should be encouraged to take up some definite employment which would fill her life and provide her with interests and duties. any other arrangement tends to make the time between leaving school or college and a possible marriage not only a wasted time but also a seed-time during which a crop is sown of bad habits, laziness of body, and slackness of mind, that subsequently bear bitter fruit. it is quite time for us to recognise that unemployment and absence of duties is as great a disadvantage to the rich as it is to the poor; the sort of employment must necessarily differ, but the spirit in which it is to be done is the same. one point that one would wish to emphasise with regard to all adolescents is that although occupation for the whole day is most desirable, hard work should occupy but a certain proportion of the waking hours. for any adolescent, or indeed for any of us to attempt to work hard for twelve or fourteen hours out of the twenty-four is to store up trouble. it is not possible to lay down any hard and fast rule as to the length of hours of work, because the other factors in the problem vary so greatly. one person may be exhausted by four hours of intellectual effort, whereas another is less fatigued by eight; and further, the daily occupations vary greatly in the demand that they make on attention and on such qualities as reason, judgment, and power of initiation. those who teach or learn such subjects as mathematics, or those who are engaged in such occupations as portrait-painting and the higher forms of musical effort, must necessarily take more out of themselves than those who are employed in feeding a machine, in nursing a baby, or in gardening operations. chapter v. the final aim of education. the great problem before those who have the responsibility for the training of the young is that of preparing them to take their place in the world as fathers, mothers, and citizens, and among the fundamental duties connected with this responsibility must come the placing before the eyes of the young people high ideals, attractive examples, and the securing to them the means of adequate preparation. as a nation it seems to be with us at present as it was with the people of israel in the days of eli: "the word of the lord was precious (or scarce) in those days; there was no open vision." we seem to have come to a time of civilisation in which there is much surface refinement and a widespread veneer of superficial knowledge, but in which there is little enthusiasm and in which the great aim and object of teaching and of training is but too little realised. in the endeavour to know a little of all things we seem to have lost the capacity for true and exhaustive knowledge of anything. it would appear as if the remedy for this most unsatisfactory state of things has to commence long before the years of adolescence, even while the child is yet in its cradle. the old-fashioned ideas of duty, obedience, and discipline must be once more household words and living entities before the race can enter on a period of regeneration. we want a poet with the logic of browning, the sweetness of tennyson, and the force of rudyard kipling, to sing a song that would penetrate through indifference, sloth, and love of pleasure, and make of us the nation that we might be, and of which the england of bygone years had the promise. speaking specially with regard to girls, let us first remember that the highest earthly ideal for a woman is that she should be a good wife and a good mother. it is not necessary to say this in direct words to every small girl, but she ought to be so educated, so guided, as to instinctively realise that wifehood and motherhood is the flower and perfection of her being. this is the hope and ideal that should sanctify her lessons and sweeten the right and proper discipline of life. all learning, all handicraft, and all artistic training should take their place as a preparation to this end. each generation that comes on to the stage of life is the product of that which preceded it. it is the flower of the present national life and the seed of that which is to come. we ought to recognise that all educational aims and methods are really subordinate to this great end; if this were properly realised by adolescents it would be of the greatest service and help in their training. the deep primal instinct of fatherhood and motherhood would help them more than anything else to seek earnestly and successfully for the highest attainable degree of perfection of their own bodies, their own minds, and their own souls. it is, however, impossible to aim at an ideal that is unseen and even unknown, and although the primal instinct exists in us all, its fruition is greatly hindered by the way in which it is steadily ignored, and by the fact that any proclamation of its existence is considered indiscreet and even indelicate. how are children to develop a holy reverence for their own bodies unless they know of their wonderful destiny? if they do not recognise that at least in one respect god has confided to them in some measure his own creative function, how can they jealously guard against all that would injure their bodies and spoil their hopes for the exercise of this function? there is, even at the present time, a division of opinion as to when and in what manner children are to be made aware of their august destiny. we are indeed only now beginning to realise that ignorance is not necessarily innocence, and that knowledge of these matters may be sanctified and blessed. it is, however, certain that the conspiracy of silence which lasted so many years has brought forth nothing but evil. if a girl remains ignorant of physiological facts, the shock of the eternal realities of life that come to her on marriage is always pernicious and sometimes disastrous. if, on the other hand, such knowledge is obtained from servants and depraved playfellows, her purity of mind must be smirched and injured. even among those who hold that children ought to be instructed, there is a division of opinion as to when this instruction is to begin. some say at puberty, others a few years later, perhaps on the eve of marriage, and yet others think that the knowledge will come with less shock, with less personal application, and therefore in a more natural and useful manner from the very beginning of conscious life. these last would argue--why put the facts of reproduction on a different footing from those of digestion and respiration? as facts in the physical life they hold a precisely similar position. upon the due performance of bodily functions depends the welfare of the whole organism, and although reproduction, unlike the functions of respiration and digestion, is not essential to the life of the individual, it is essential to the life of the nation. the facts of physiology are best taught to little children by a perfectly simple recognition of the phenomena of life around them--the cat with her kittens, the bird with its fledgelings, and still more the mother with her infant, are all common facts and beautiful types of motherhood. instead of inventing silly and untrue stories as to the origin of the kitten and the fledgeling, it is better and wiser to answer the child's question by a direct statement of fact, that god has given the power to his creatures to perpetuate themselves, that the gift of life is one of his good gifts bestowed in mercy on all his creatures. the mother's share in this gift and duty can be observed by, and simply explained to, the child from its earliest years; it comes then with no shock, no sense of shame, but as a type of joy and gladness, an image of that holiest of all relations, the eternal mother and the heavenly child. somewhat later in life, probably immediately before puberty in boys and shortly after puberty in girls, the father's share in this mystery may naturally come up for explanation. the physiological facts connected with this are not so constantly in evidence before children, and therefore do not press for explanation in the same way as do those of motherhood, but the time comes soon in the schoolboy's life when the special care of his own body has to be urged on him, and this knowledge ought to come protected by the sanction that unless he is faithful to his trust he cannot look to the reward of a happy home life with wife and children. in the case of the girl the question as to fatherhood is more likely to arise out of the reading of the bible or other literature, or by her realisation that at any rate in the case of human parenthood there is evidently the intermediation of a father. the details of this knowledge need not necessarily be pressed on the adolescent girl, but it is a positive cruelty to allow the young woman to marry without knowing the facts on which her happiness depends. another way in which the mystery of parenthood can be simply and comfortably taught is through the study of vegetable physiology. the fertilisation of the ovules by pollen which falls directly from the anthers on to the stigma can be used as a representation of similar facts in animal physiology. it is very desirable, however, that this study of the vegetable should succeed and not precede that of the domestic animals in the teaching of boys and girls. viewed from this standpoint there is surely no difficulty to the parent in imparting to the child this necessary knowledge. we have to remember that children have to know the mysteries of life. they cannot live in the world without seeing the great drama constantly displayed to them in family life and in the lives of domesticated animals. they cannot read the literature of greece and rome, nay, they cannot study the book of books, without these facts being constantly brought to mind. a child's thirst for the interpretation of this knowledge is imperative and unsatiable--not from prurience nor from evil-mindedness, but in obedience to a law of our nature, the child demands this knowledge--and will get it. it is for fathers and mothers to say whether these sublime and beautiful mysteries shall be lovingly and reverently unveiled by themselves or whether the child's mind shall be poisoned and all beauty and reverence destroyed by depraved school-fellows and vulgar companions. in the hope of securing the purity, reverence and piety of our children, in the hope that they may grow up worthy of their high destiny, let us do what we may to keep their honour unsmirched, to preserve their innocence, and to lead them on from the unconscious goodness of childhood to the clear-eyed, fully conscious dignity of maturity, that our sons may grow up as young plants, and our daughters as the polished corners of the temple. part ii.: boys. by f. arthur sibly, m.a., ll.d. preface to the second edition. my contribution to this little book was originally intended for the eyes of parents, scoutmasters, and other adults. since , when the book was first published, it has been my privilege to receive from these so many letters of warm appreciation that it seems needless to retain the apologetic preface which i then wrote. the object which i had in view at that time was the hastening of a supremely important reform. i have to-day the very deep joy of knowing that my words have carried conviction to many adults and have given help to countless boys. one result of this publication was entirely unlooked for. it did not occur to me, as i wrote, that the book would be read by boys and young men. it was not written at all for this purpose. in some respects its influence over them has, however, been increased by this obvious fact. in this book boys have, as it were, overheard a confidential conversation about themselves carried on by adults anxious for their welfare, and some at least are evidently more impressed by this conversation than by a direct appeal--in which they are liable to suspect exaggeration. i have received hundreds of letters from boys and young men. these confirm in _every_ way the conclusions set forth in this book, and prove that the need for guidance in sex matters is acute and universal. the relief and assistance which many boys have experienced from correspondence with me, and the interest which i find in their letters have caused me--spite of the extreme preoccupation of a strenuous life--to issue a special invitation to those who may feel inclined to write to me. great diversity of opinion exists as to the best method of giving sex instruction, and those who have had experience of one method are curiously blind to the merits of other methods, which they usually strongly denounce. while i have my own views as to the best method to adopt, i am quite sure that each one of very many methods can, in suitable hands, produce great good, and that the very poorest method is infinitely superior to no method at all. some are for oral teaching, some for the use of a pamphlet, some favour confidential individual teaching, others collective public teaching. some would try to make sex a sacred subject; some would prefer to keep the emotional element out and treat reproduction as a matter-of-fact science subject. some wish the parent to give the teaching, some the teacher, some the doctor, some a lecturer specially trained for this purpose. good results have been obtained by every one of these methods. during recent years much additional evidence has accumulated in my hands of the beneficent results of such teaching as i advocate in these pages, and i am confident that of boys who have been wisely guided and trained, few fail to lead clean lives even when associated with those who are generally and openly corrupt. i must, however, emphasise my belief that the cleanliness of a boy's life depends ultimately not upon his knowledge of good and evil but upon his devotion to the right. "self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control, these three alone lead life to sovereign power." where these are not, it is idle to inculcate the rarest and most difficult of all virtues. f. arthur sibly. wycliffe, stonehouse, glos. _september ._ introductory note. the term puberty will so often be used in the following chapters that a brief account of the phenomena of puberty may appropriately be given at the outset of this work. puberty is a name given to the age at which a boy becomes capable of being a father. in temperate climates this age is reached at about fifteen years, though some boys attain it at twelve and some not until seventeen. the one obvious and invariable sign of puberty is a change of pitch in the voice, which assumes its bass character after an embarrassing period of squeaky alternations between the high and low tones. the age is a critical one, as several important changes take place in body and in mind. the reproductive organs undergo considerable development and become sensitive to any stimulus, physical or mental. the seminal fluid, which in normal cases has hitherto been secreted little, if at all, is now elaborated by the testicles, and contains spermatazoa--minute organisms which are essential to reproduction. under the stimulus of sexual thoughts this fluid is secreted in such quantity as to give rise to involuntary discharge during sleep. these nocturnal emissions are so often found among boys and young men that some physiologists consider them to be quite normal. my experience leads me to doubt this conclusion. another physical change associated with puberty is the growth of hair on the pubes and on the face: in this latter situation the growth is slow. with the capacity for fatherhood comes a very strong awakening of the sexual instinct, which manifests itself in passion and in lust--the unconscious and the conscious sex hunger. the passion shows itself in a ludicrously indiscriminate and exaggerated susceptibility to female attractions--a susceptibility the sexual character of which is usually quite unrecognised. among boys who have sex knowledge there is also a tendency to dwell on sexual thoughts when the mind is not otherwise occupied. passion and lust do not at once develop their full strength; but, coming at a time when self-control is very weak, and coming with all the attraction of novelty, they often dominate the mind even in normal cases, and may become tyrannous when the reproductive system has been prematurely stimulated. a heightened self-consciousness and an antagonism to authority so often follow the attainment of puberty that they are usually considered to be its results. my own experience with boys satisfies me that this conclusion is not correct. self-consciousness, when it occurs in boyhood, is usually the result of an unclean inner life. puberty merely increases the self-consciousness by intensifying its cause. when the mind is clean there is no marked change in this respect at puberty. the antagonism to authority so often observed after puberty is the product of unsatisfactory external influences. with puberty the desire to stand well with others, and in particular the desire to seem manly, increases. if a debased public opinion demands of a boy the cheap manliness of profanity, tobacco, and irreverence, the demand creates a plentiful supply, while it also suppresses as priggish or "pi" any avowed or suspected devotion to higher ideals. a healthy public opinion, working in harmony with a boy's nobler instincts, calls forth in him an earnest devotion to high ideals, and causes him to exercise, on the development of his powers and in a crusade against wrong, the new energies which a wholesome puberty places at his disposal. chapter i. prevalence of impurity among boys: the author's own experience. of the perils which beset the growing boy all are recognised, and, in a measure, guarded against except the most inevitable and most fatal peril of all. in all that concerns the use and abuse of the reproductive organs the great majority of boys have hitherto been left without adult guidance, and have imbibed their ideas from the coarser of their companions and from casual references to the subject in the bible and other books. under these conditions very few boys escape two of the worst dangers into which it is possible for a lad to fall--the artificial stimulation of the reproductive organs and the acquisition of degraded ideas on the subject of sex. that many lives are thus prematurely shortened, that many constitutions are permanently enfeebled, that very many lads who might otherwise have striven successfully against the sexual temptations of adult life succumb--almost without a struggle--to them, can be doubted by no one who is familiar with the inner life of boys and men. of these two evils, self-abuse, though productive of manifold and disastrous results, is distinctly the less. many boys outgrow the physical injuries which, in ignorance, they inflict upon themselves in youth; but very few are able wholly to cleanse themselves from the foul desires associated in their minds with sex. these desires make young men impotent in the face of temptation. under their evil dominance, even men of kind disposition will, by seduction, inflict on an innocent girl agony, misery, degradation, and premature death. they will indulge in the most degrading of all vices with prostitutes on the street. they will defile the atmosphere of social life with filthy talk and ribald jest. even a clean and ennobling passion can do little to redeem them. the pure stream of human love is made turbid with lust. after a temporary uplifting in marriage the soul is again dragged down, marriage vows are broken and the blessings of home life are turned into wormwood and gall. that a system so destructive of physical and of spiritual health should have lasted almost intact until now will, i believe, shortly become a matter for general amazement; for while evidence of the widespread character of youthful perversion is a product of quite recent years, the assumptions on which this system has been based are unreasonable and incapable of proof. since conclusive evidence of the prevalence of impurity among boys is available, i will not at present invite the reader to examine the assumptions which lead most people to a contrary belief. when i do so, i shall hope to demonstrate that we might reasonably expect to find things precisely as they are. in the first and second chapters we shall see to what conclusions teachers who have actual experience in the matter have been led. there are several teachers whose authority in most matters stands so very much above my own that it might seem presumptuous to begin by laying my own experiences before the reader; but i venture to take this course because no other teacher, as far as i know, has published quite such definite evidence as i have done; and i think that the more general statements of such eminent men as canon lyttelton, mr. a.c. benson, and dr. clement dukes will appeal to the reader more powerfully when he has some idea of the manner in which conclusions on this subject may be reached. i have some reason, also, for the belief that the paper i read in at the london university before the international congress on moral education has been considered of great significance by very competent judges. by a special decision of the executive of the congress it--alone of all sectional papers--was printed _in extenso_ in the official report. later on, it came under the notice of sir r. baden-powell, at whose request it was republished in the _headquarters gazette_--the official organ of the boy scout movement. it certainly did require some courage at the time to put my results before the public, for i was not then aware that men of great eminence in the educational world had already made equally sweeping, if less definite, statements. emboldened by this fact and by the commendations above referred to, i venture to quote the greater part of this short paper. "the opinions i am about to put forward are based almost entirely on my own twenty years' experience as a housemaster. my house contains forty-eight boys, who vary in age from ten to nineteen and come from comfortable middle-class homes. "private interviews with individual boys in my study have been the chief vehicle of my teaching and the chief source of my information. my objects in these interviews have been to warn boys against the evils of private impurity, to supply them with a certain amount of knowledge on sexual subjects in order to prevent a prurient curiosity, and to induce them to confide to me the history of their own knowledge and difficulties. in my early days i interviewed those only who appeared to me to be obviously suffering from the effects of impurity, and, of late years, the extreme pressure of my work has forced me very reluctantly to recur to this plan. "for several years, however, i was accustomed to interview every boy under my care during his first term with me. very rarely have i failed in these interviews so to secure a boy's confidence as to learn the salient facts of the history of his inner life. sunday afternoon addresses to the sixth form on the sexual dangers of late youth and early manhood have resulted at times in elder boys themselves seeking an interview with me. such spontaneous confidences have naturally been fuller, and therefore more instructive, than the confidences i have invited. "many people are inclined to look upon the instruction of boys in relation to adolescence as needless and harmful; needless because few boys, they imagine, awake to the consciousness and problems of sex until manhood; harmful because the pristine innocence of the mind is, they think, destroyed, and evils are suggested of which a boy might otherwise remain unconscious. to one who knows what boys really are such ideas are nothing less than ludicrous. "boys come to our school from many different classes of preparatory and secondary schools. almost every such school seems to possess a few boys who delight to initiate younger boys into sexual knowledge, and usually into knowledge of solitary vice. the very few boys who have come to me quite ignorant of these matters have come either straight from home at ten or eleven, or from a school in which a few young boys are educated with girls. of boys who have come under my care as late as twelve i have known but two who even professed total ignorance on sexual subjects, and in one of these cases i am quite sure that no such ignorance existed. "in a large majority of cases solitary vice has been learned and practised before a boy has got into his teens. the lack of insight parents display in relation to these questions is quite phenomenal. the few who mention the subject to me are always quite satisfied of the complete 'innocence' of their boys. some of the most precocious and unclean boys i have known have been thus confidently commended to me. boys are wholly unsuspicious of the extent to which their inner life lies open to the practised eye, and they feel secure that nothing can betray their secrets if they themselves do not. "in no department of our life are george eliot's words truer than in this department: 'our daily familiar life is but a hiding of ourselves from each other behind a screen of trivial words and deeds, and those who sit with us at the same hearth are often the farthest off from the deep human soul within us--full of unspoken evil and unacted good.' we cannot prevent a boy's obtaining information on sexual questions. our choice lies between leaving him to pick it up from unclean and vulgar minds, which will make it guilty and impure, and giving it ourselves in such a way as to invest it from the first with a sacred character. "another idea which my experience proves to be an entire delusion is the idea that a boy's natural refinement is a sufficient protection against defilement. some of the most refined boys i have had the pleasure of caring for have been pronounced victims of solitary sin. that it is a sin at all, that it has, indeed, any significance, either ethical or spiritual, has not so much as occurred to most of them. on what great moral question dare we leave the young to find their own way absolutely without guidance? in this most difficult and dangerous of all questions we leave the young soul, stirred by novel and blind impulses, to grope in the darkness. is it any wonder if it fails to see things in their true relations? "again, it is sometimes thought that the consequences of secret sin are so patent as to deter a boy from the sin itself. so far is this from being the case that i have never yet found a single boy (even among those who have, through it, made almost complete wrecks physically and mentally) who has of himself connected these consequences with the sin itself. i have, on the other hand, known many sad cases in which, through the weakening of will power, which this habit causes, boys of high ideals have fallen again and again after their eyes have been fully opened. this sin is rarely a conscious moral transgression. the boy is a victim to be sympathised with and helped, not an offender to be reproved and punished." i desire to call the attention of the reader to two points in the foregoing extract. i was particular in giving my credentials to state the character and limitations of my experience. everywhere in life one finds confident and sweeping generalisations made by men who have little or no experience to appeal to. this is specially the case in the educational world, and perhaps most of all in discussions on this very subject. some men, at least, are willing to instruct the public with nothing better to guide them than the light of nature. it would greatly assist the quest of truth if everyone who ventures to address the public on this question would first present his credentials. there is danger lest the reader should discount the significance of the statements i make in the foregoing paper by falling into the error of supposing that the facts stated apply, after all, to one school only. this is not by any means so. the facts have been collected _at_ one school; but those which refer to the prevalence of sex knowledge and of masturbation have reference solely to the condition of boys when they first entered, and are significant of the conditions which obtain at some scores of schools and in many homes. i venture here to quote and to warmly endorse canon lyttelton's opinion: "it is, however, so easy to be misunderstood in this matter that i must insert a caution against an inference which may be drawn from these words, viz. that school life is the _origin_ of immorality among boys. the real origin is to be found in the common predisposition to vicious conceptions, which is the result of neglect. nature provides in almost every case an active curiosity on this subject; and that curiosity must be somehow allayed; and if it were not allayed at school, false and depraved ideas would be picked up at home.... so readily does an ignorant mind at an early age take in teaching about these subjects that there are no conceivable conditions of modern social life not fraught with grave peril to a young boy, if once he has been allowed to face them quite unprepared, either by instruction or by warning. and this manifestly applies to life at home, or in a day-school, or in a boarding-school to an almost equal degree."[a] [footnote a: _training of the young in relation to sex, p. et seq_.] one of the facts which i always tried to elicit from boys was the source of their information, or rather the character of that source, for i was naturally anxious not to ask a boy to incriminate any individual known to me. in many cases, information came first to the boy at _home_ from a brother, or cousin, or casual acquaintance, or domestic servant. in one of the worst cases i have known the information was given to a boy by another boy--an entire stranger to him--whom he happened to meet on a country road when cycling. since boys meet one another very much more at school than elsewhere and spend three-fourths of their lives there, of course information is more often obtained at school than at home. my own experience leads me to think that in this respect the day-school--probably on account of its mixed social conditions--is worse than the boarding-school. before passing from matters of personal experience, it may interest the reader if i give particulars of a few typical cases to illustrate some points on which i have insisted. _case a._--the father and mother of a boy close on thirteen came to see me before entering the lad. they had no idea that i was specially interested in purity-teaching; but they were anxious to ascertain what precautions we took against the corruption of small boys. they struck me as very good parents. i was specially pleased that they were alive to the dangers of impurity, and that the mother could advert openly to the matter without embarrassment. i advised them to give the boy explicit warning; but they said that they were anxious to preserve his innocence as long as possible. he was at present absolutely simple, and they hoped that he would long remain so. it was a comfort to them that i was interested in the subject, and they would leave the boy with confidence in my care. as soon as i saw the boy, i found it difficult to believe in his innocence; and i soon discovered that he was thoroughly corrupt. not merely did he begin almost at once to corrupt other boys, but he actually gave them his views on brothels! in a private interview with me he admitted all this, and told me that he was corrupted at ten years of age, when he was sent, after convalescence from scarlet fever, to a country village for three months. there he seems to have associated with a group of street boys, who gave him such information as they had, and initiated him into self-abuse. since then he had been greedily seeking further information and passing it on. _case b._--a delicate, gentle boy of eleven, an only son, was sent to me by an intellectual father, who had been his constant companion. the lad was very amiable and well-intentioned. a year later he gave me particulars of his corruption by a cousin, who was three years older than he. since that time--particularly of late--he had practised masturbation. he had not the least idea that it was hurtful or even unrefined, and thought that it was peculiar to himself and his cousin. he knew from his cousin the chief facts of maternity and paternity, but had not spoken to other boys about them. he was intensely anxious to cleanse himself entirely, and promised to let me know of any lapse, should it occur. in the following vacation he developed pneumonia. for some days his life hung in the balance, and then flickered out. his father wrote me a letter of noble resignation. terribly as he felt his loss, he was greatly consoled, he said, by the knowledge that his boy had died while his mind was innocent and before he could know even what temptation was. it is needless to add that i never hinted the real facts to the father; and--without altering any material detail--i am disguising the case lest it should possibly be recognised by him. i have often wondered whether, when the lad's life hung in the balance, it might not have been saved if death's scale had not been weighted by the child's lowered vitality. _case c._--a boy of fourteen came to me. he was a miserable specimen in every way--pale, lethargic, stupid almost beyond belief. he had no mother; and the father, though a man of leisure, evidently found it difficult to make the lad much of a companion. i felt certain from the first that the boy was an exceptionally bad victim of self-abuse; and this i told his father, advising him to investigate the matter. he was horrified at my diagnosis, and committed the great indiscretion of taxing the boy with self-abuse as though it were a conscious and grave fault. the father wrote during the vacation saying that he found i was entirely mistaken: not, content with the lad's assurance, he had watched him with the utmost care. as soon as the boy returned to school i interviewed him. he admitted readily that he had long masturbated himself daily--sometimes oftener. he had first--as far as he could remember, at about six--had his private parts excited by his nurse, who apparently did this to put an irritable child into a good temper! my warning had little effect upon him, as he had become a hopeless victim. he was too delicate a boy for us to desire to keep; and after a brief stay at school, during which we nursed him through a critical illness, he left to finish his education under private tuition at home. _case d._--this boy came to me at thirteen. he was always a conscientious and amiable boy, but was nervous and dull. by fifteen his dullness had increased, and he complained of brain-strain and poorness of memory. finally he began to develop st. vitus's dance. i sent him to our school doctor, who returned him with a note saying that his condition was serious--that he must stop all work, &c. &c. i was in my study when the lad came back, and i at once told him what was the matter. he frankly admitted frequent self-abuse, which he had learned from an elder brother. he had not the least suspicion that the habit was injurious; but was very apprehensive about his future until i reassured him. he wanted me to write at once and warn a younger brother who had fallen into the habit. by great effort he got himself rapidly under control. his nervous twitchings disappeared, his vitality improved, the brain-fag gradually ceased; and when he left, eighteen months later, he was fairly normal. his improvement continued afterwards, and he is now a successful man of business and a married man. _case e._--this boy entered at twelve. he was very weak physically and highly nervous--owing, his people thought, to severe bullying at a previous school. he was an able boy, of literary and artistic tastes, and almost painfully conscientious. he was very shy; always thought that he was despised by other boys; and was a duffer at games, which he avoided to the utmost. with my present experience i should have known him to be a victim of self-abuse. then, i did not suspect him; and it was not until he was leaving at eighteen for the university that we talked the matter over, on his initiative. then i found that he had been bullied into impurity at eleven, and was now a helpless victim. after two years at the university he wrote me that, though the temptation now came less frequently, he seemed absolutely powerless when it did come; that he despised himself so much that the impulse to suicide often haunted him; but that the cowardice which had kept him from games at school would probably prevent his taking his life. with the assistance of an intense and devoted religious life he gradually began to gain self-mastery. it is some years now since he has mentioned the subject to me. these are merely specimen cases. cases a, b, and c illustrate my assertions that parents are wonderfully blind; cases b and e, that quite exceptional refinement in a boy gives no protection from temptation to impurity; case d, that a boy, even in an extreme case, does not know that the habit is injurious. in respect of their severity, c, d, and e are not normal but extreme cases. the reader must not imagine that boys ordinarily suffer as much as these did. chapter ii. prevalence of impurity among boys: the opinions of canon lyttelton, dr. dukes, and others. i propose now to make clear to the reader the fact that the conclusions i have reached as to the existence of sexual knowledge among boys, and as to the prevalence of self-abuse, are entirely borne out by the opinion of the most distinguished teachers and medical men. canon lyttelton writes with an authority which no one will question. educated at eton, he was for two years an assistant master at wellington college; then, for fifteen years, headmaster of haileybury college, and has now been headmaster of eton for over six years. he has intimate knowledge of boys, derived, as regards the question of purity, from confidential talks with them. the quotations which follow are from his work _training of the young in laws of sex_. canon lyttelton does not think it needful to make statements as to the prevalence of impurity among boys. he rather assumes that this prevalence is obvious and, under present conditions, inevitable. i have already quoted one passage which involves this assumption, and now invite the reader to consider two others. "in the school life of boys, in spite of very great improvements, it is _impossible_ that sexual subjects should be wholly avoided in common talk.... though, in preparatory schools of little boys under fourteen, the increasing vigilance of masters, and constant supervision, combined with constant employment, reduce the evil of prurient talk to a minimum, yet these subjects _will_ crop up.... it should be remembered that the boys who are talkative about such subjects are just those whose ideas are most distorted and vicious. in the public school, owing not only to freer talk and more mixed company but to the boy's own wider range of vision, sexual questions, and also those connected with the structure of the body, come to the fore and begin to occupy more or less of the thoughts of all but a peculiarly constituted minority of the whole number. "men, as i have shown, have been severely dealt with by nature in this respect: she has forced them, at a time of life when their minds are ill compacted, their ideas chaotic, and their wills untrained, to face an ordeal which demands above all things reverence based on knowledge and resolution sustained by high affections. an _enormously large proportion_ flounder blindly into the mire before they know what it is, not necessarily, but very often into the defilement of evil habit, but, still more often, into the tainted air of diseased opinion, and after a few years _some of them_ emerge saved, but so as by fire."[b] [footnote b: pages _et seq._: the italics are mine.] the following are quotations from the _upton letters_, written by mr. a.c. benson. mr. benson is one of the most distinguished of modern teachers: he has had long experience of public-school life both as a boy and as a master: he has that insight into the heart of boyhood which can come only to one who has affectionate sympathy with boys and has been the recipient of their confidences. it will be abundantly evident from the passages which follow that in mr. benson's opinion no boy is likely to preserve his "innocence" in passing through a public school. "the subject is so unpleasant that many masters dare not speak of it at all, and excuse themselves by saying that they don't want to put ideas into boys' heads. i cannot conscientiously believe that a man who has been through a big public school himself can honestly be afraid of that." "the standard of purity is low: a vicious boy does not find his vicious tendencies by any means a bar to social success." this, of course, assumes that the vicious tendencies are a matter of notoriety. a similar implication is involved in the following: "i do not mean to say that there are not many boys who are both pure-minded and honest; but they treat such virtues as a secret preference of their own, and do not consider that it is in the least necessary to interfere with the practice of others or even to disapprove of it." he further gives it as his opinion that "the deadly and insidious temptation of impurity has, as far as one can learn, increased," and tells us "an innocent-minded boy whose natural inclination to purity gave way before perpetual temptation and even compulsion might be thought to have erred, but would have scanty, if any, expression of either sympathy or pity from other boys; while if he breathed the least hint of his miserable position to a master and the fact came out, he would be universally scouted.... one hears of simply heart-rending cases where a boy dare not even tell his parents of what he endures." it would thus appear that in some of the premier schools of the world impurity is a matter of notoriety, sometimes of compulsion; and that, to a boy's own strong inclination to concealment, is superadded, by the public opinion of the school, an imperious command that this concealment shall, even in heart-rending cases, be maintained. no one, i think, will maintain that private schools _as a class_ are in the least degree lees corrupt than public schools; while there are, i am sure, at least a few schools in which public opinion condemns _open_ impurity, and will not tolerate impure talk. and while i am confident that it is possible, not merely to attain this condition in a school, but also to reduce private impurity to a negligible quantity, impurity--in one form or another--is, in general, so widely spread in boys' schools of every type, that it is difficult to understand how anyone familiar with school life can doubt its prevalence. let us now consider the opinion of dr. clement dukes, the medical officer of rugby school and the greatest english authority on school hygiene. in the preface to the fourth edition of his well-known work _health at school_, dr. dukes writes: "i have studied children in all their phases and stages for many years--two years at the hospital for sick children in ormond street, london, followed by thirty-three years at rugby school--a professional history which has provided me with an almost unique experience in all that relates to the health and disease of childhood and youth, and has compelled constant and steady thought upon every aspect of this problem." in an earlier work, _the preservation of health_, dr. dukes gives his estimate of the prevalence of masturbation, and quotes the opinion of other authorities whose credentials he has verified; in this work, on page , he writes of masturbation: "i believe that the reason why it is so widespread an evil--amounting, i gather, although from the nature of the case no complete evidence can ever be accurately obtained, to somewhere _about to per cent. of all boys at boarding-schools_--is because the boy leaves his home in the first instance without one word of warning from his parents ... and thus falls into evil ways from his innocence and ignorance alone.... this immorality is estimated by some at per cent., by others at per cent. another says that not per cent. are innocent. another that it has always begun at from eight to twelve years of age. others that it is always worst amongst the elder boys. others that 'it is universal.'" professor stanley hall, in his great work on _adolescence_, after a similar and exhaustive review of the numerous works on this subject in different languages, concludes: "the whole literature on the subject attests that whenever careful researches have been undertaken the results are appalling as to prevalence." and yet there are people who deprecate purity-teaching for boys because they feel that a boy's natural modesty is quite a sufficient protection, and that there is danger of destroying a boy's innocence by putting ideas into his head! to hear such people talk, and to listen to the way in which they speak of self-abuse as though it implied monstrous moral perversion, one would think that the condition of morals when they were young was wholly different. the great novelist thackeray gives little countenance to this opinion when he writes in _pendennis_: "and, by the way, ye tender mothers and sober fathers of christian families, a prodigious thing that theory of life is as orally learned at a great public school. why if you could hear those boys of fourteen who blush before mothers and sneak off in silence in the presence of their daughters, talking among each other--it would be the woman's turn to blush then. before he was twelve years old little pen had heard talk enough to make him quite awfully wise upon certain points--and so, madam, has your pretty rosy-cheeked son, who is coming home from school for the ensuing holidays. i don't say that the boy is lost, or that the innocence has left him which he had from 'heaven, which is our home,' but that the shades of the prison-house are closing fast over him, and that we are helping as much as possible to corrupt him." before concluding this chapter i would caution the reader against the error of supposing that the opinions expressed by canon lyttelton and dr. dukes are indicative merely of the conditions they have met at haileybury, eton, and rugby. they are equally significant of the conditions which obtain in the innumerable schools from which haileybury, eton, and rugby are recruited; and as there is no reason why other preparatory schools should differ from these, they are significant of the almost universal condition of boys' schools. chapter iii. causes of the prevalence of impurity among boys. the evidence i have adduced in the previous chapters will convince most of my readers that few boys retain their innocence after they are of school age. there may, however, be a few who find it impossible to reconcile this conclusion with their ideas of boy nature. i will therefore now examine current conceptions on this subject and expose their fundamental inaccuracy. there are some people who imagine that a boy's innate modesty is quite sufficient protection against defilement. does experience really warrant any such conclusion? those who know much of children will recognise the fact that even the cardinal virtues of truthfulness and honesty have often to be learned, and that ideas of personal cleanliness, of self-restraint in relation to food, and of consideration for others have usually to be implanted and fostered. among people of refinement these virtues are often so early learned that there is danger lest we should consider them innate. the susceptibility of some children to suggestions conveyed to them by the example and precept of their elders is almost unlimited. hence a child may, at two, have given up the trick of clearing its nostrils with the finger-nail, and may, before five, have learned most of the manners and virtues of refined people. the majority, however, take longer to learn these things, so that a jolly little chap of ten or twelve is often by no means scrupulously clean in hands, nails, ears, and teeth, is often distinctly greedy, and sometimes far from truthful. that cleanliness and virtue are acquired and not innate is obvious enough from the fact that children who grow up among dirty and unprincipled people are rarely clean and virtuous. were it possible for the child of refined parents to grow up without example or precept in relation to table manners and morals, except the example and advice of vulgar people, who would expect refinement and consideration from him? is there anyone who has such faith in innate refinement that he would be content to let a child of his own, grow up without a hint on these matters, and with such example only as was supplied by association with vulgar people? yet this is precisely what we do in relation to the subject of personal purity. the child has no good example to guide him. the extent to which temptation comes to those whom he respects, the manner in which they comport themselves when tempted, the character of their sex relations are entirely hidden from him. he is not only without example, he is without precept. no ideals are set before him, no advice is given to him: the very existence of anything in which ideals and advice are needful is ignored. if in conditions like these we should expect a boy to grow up greedy, we may be certain that he will grow up impure. at puberty there awakes within him by far the strongest appetite that human nature can experience--an appetite against which some of the noblest of mankind have striven in vain. the appetite is given abnormal strength by the artificial and stimulating conditions under which he lives. the act which satisfies this appetite is also one of keen pleasure. he has long been accustomed to caress his private parts, and the pleasure with which he does this is greatly enhanced. he does not suspect that indulgence is harmful. this pleasure, unlike that of eating, costs him nothing, and is ever available. his powers of self-control are as yet undeveloped. he can indulge himself without incurring the least suspicion. he probably knows that most boys, of his age and above, indulge themselves. the result is inevitable. he finds that sexual thoughts are keenly pleasurable, and that they produce bodily exaltation. he has much yet to learn on the subject of sex, and he enjoys the quest. wherever he turns he finds it now--in his bible, in animal life, in his classics, in the encyclopædia, in his companions, and in the newspaper. day and night the subject is ever with him. it is inevitable. and at this juncture comes along the theorist who is aghast at our destroying the lad's "innocence," and at our "suggesting evils to him which otherwise he would never have thought of." "the boy's innate modesty is quite a sufficient protection"! to me the wonderful thing is the earnestness with which a boy sets about the task of cleansing his life when once he has been made to realise the real character of the thoughts and acts with which he has been playing. boys, as i find them, rarely err in this matter, or in any other, from moral perversity, but merely from ignorance and thoughtlessness. severe rebukes and punishments are rarely either just or useful. the disposition which obliges the teacher to use them in the last resort, and the rebellion against authority which is said to follow puberty, arise almost invariably from injudicious training in the home or at school. boys who have received a fair home training, and who find themselves in a healthy atmosphere at school, are almost invariably delightful to deal with; and even those who have been less fortunate in their early surroundings adapt themselves in most cases to the standards which a healthy public opinion in the school demands. it may be thought that the mere reticence of adults about reproduction and the reproductive organs would impress the child's mind with the idea that it is unclean to play with his private parts or to talk about their functions with his companions. this is a psychological error. for some years past adults have avoided any allusion to the subject of excretion, and the child assumes that _public_ attention to bodily needs and _public_ reference to these needs are alike indelicate. he does not, however, conclude that excretion in private is an indelicate act, nor does any sense of delicacy oblige him to maintain, with regard to companions of his own sex and age, the reticence which has become habitual to him in his relations with adults. why should the child think it "dirty" to fondle and excite his private parts or to talk about them with his boy friends? the knowledge which makes us feel as we do is as yet hidden from him. the same thing is certainly true of conversation about the facts of reproduction when those who converse are uncorrupted. another element, however, at once appears when these facts are divulged by a corrupt boy, because his manner is irresistibly suggestive of uncleanness as well as of secrecy. similarly when self-abuse is fallen into spontaneously by a boy who is otherwise clean, no sense of indecency attaches itself to the act. when, however, it is taught by an unclean boy, there is a feeling of defilement from the first. in boys under the age of puberty this feeling may overpower the temptation; in boys above that age it is, as a rule, totally inadequate as a safeguard. many people imagine that a boy who is impure must betray himself, and that if no overt acts of indecency are observed the innocence of a boy's mind may be safely inferred. knowledge on these subjects has, however, been almost invariably gained under conditions of the utmost secrecy, and the behaviour of adults has effectively fostered the idea of concealment. hence we might expect that the secret would be jealously guarded and that any overt act of impurity would be avoided in the presence of adults with even greater circumspection than the public performance of an excretory act. the habit of self-abuse, moreover, is practised usually under the double cover of darkness and the bed-clothes. the temptation occurs far less by day than by night, and a boy who yields to it in the day invariably chooses a closet or other private place in which he feels secure from detection. to many people it is inconceivable that a lad can harbour impure feelings and habits without obvious deterioration; but even if a child's lapses into these things were associated with conscious guilt, does our knowledge of human nature justify us in supposing that evil in the heart is certain to betray itself in a visible degradation of the outer life? if we believe the language of the devout, we must admit that the most spiritual of men hide in their heart thoughts of which they are heartily ashamed. it is not into the mouth of the reprobate but into the mouth of her devoted members as they enter upon their sacramental service that the church puts the significant prayer, "almighty god, unto whom all hearts be open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid; cleanse the thoughts in our hearts by the inspiration of thy holy spirit." inconsistency in adults is far too well recognised to need proof. in children it is even more obvious, and for this reason that, looked at aright, it is the faculty of maintaining the general health of the soul, spite of local morbid conditions--a faculty which is strongest in the simpler and more adaptable mind of the child. impurity as a disease has a long incubation period. when he contracts the disease, its victim is often wholly unconscious of his danger; and, both because the disease is an internal one and is slow in development, it is a very long time before obvious symptoms appear. meanwhile a corruption may have set in which will ultimately ruin the whole life. chapter iv. results of youthful impurity. it is difficult to exaggerate the evils which result from the present system under which boys grow to manhood without any adult guidance in relation to the laws of sex. it has already been stated that the immediate physical results of self-abuse are small evils indeed compared with the corruption of mind which comes from perverted sex ideas. they are, however, by no means negligible; and are, in some cases, very serious. the great prevalence of self-abuse among boys, combined with the inevitable uncertainty as to the degree of a boy's freedom from, or indulgence in, this vice, makes it very difficult to institute a reliable comparison between those who are chaste and those who are unchaste. greater significance attaches, i think, to a comparison in individual cases of a boy's condition during a period of indulgence in masturbation and his condition after its total, or almost total, relinquishment. i have no hesitation in saying that the difference in a boy's vitality and spiritual tone after relinquishing this habit is very marked. the case _d_ quoted in chapter i. is, in this respect, typical. in my pamphlet, _private knowledge for boys_, i have quoted a striking passage from acton on the reproductive organs, in which he contrasts the continent and the incontinent boy. but in the case of men like dr. acton--specialists in the diseases of the male reproductive organs--it must be remembered that it is mostly the abnormal and extreme cases which come under their notice: a fact which is liable to affect their whole estimate. the book can be recommended to adults who wish to see the whole subject of sex diseases dealt with by a specialist who writes with a high moral purpose. my own estimate is given in the pamphlet already referred to. after quoting dr. acton's opinion, i add:-- "you will notice that dr. acton is here describing an extreme case. i want to tell you what are the results in a case which is not extreme. my difficulty is that these results are so various. the injury to the nerves and brain which is caused by sexual excitement and by the loss of semen leaves nothing in the body, mind or character uninjured. the _extent_ of the injury varies greatly with the strength of a boy's constitution and with the frequency of his sin. the _character_ of the injury varies with the boy's own special weaknesses and tendencies. if he is naturally shy and timid, it makes him shyer and more timid. if he is stupid and lazy, it makes him more stupid and lazy. if he is inclined to consumption or other disease, it destroys his power of resisting such disease. in extreme cases only does it actually change an able boy into a stupid one, an athletic boy into a weak one, and a happy boy into a discontented one; but in all cases it _weakens_ every power a boy possesses. its most prominent results are these: loss of will-power and self-reliance, shyness, nervousness and irritability, failure of the reasoning powers and memory, laziness of body and mind, a diseased fondness for girls, deceitfulness. of these results, the loss of will-power leaves the boy a prey not only to the temptations of impurity, but to every other form of temptation: the deceitfulness destroys his self-respect and turns his life into a sham." of incomparably greater importance than acton's wide but abnormal experience and my own narrow but normal experience is the experience of dr. clement dukes, which is very wide and perfectly normal. no man has probably been in so good a position for forming an estimate as he has been. dr. dukes thus sums up his opinion: "the harm which results is moral, intellectual, and physical. _physically_ it is a frequent drain at a critical time of life when nature is providing for growth and development, and is ill able to bear it; it is a powerful nervous shock to the system ill-prepared to meet it.... it also causes muscular and mental debility, loss of spirit and manliness, and occasional insanity, suicide and homicide. moreover it leads to further uncontrollable passions in early manhood.... further, this vice enfeebles the _intellectual_ powers, inducing lethargy and obtuseness, and incapacity for hard mental work. and last, and most of all, it is an _immorality_ which stains the whole character and undermines the life." in this passage dr. dukes refers to the intellectual and moral harm of self-abuse as well as to its physical consequences. intimately connected as these are with one another, i am here attempting to give them separate treatment. it is, however, impossible to treat perverted sex-knowledge and self-abuse separately; for though in young boys they are found independently of one another, and sometimes co-exist in elder boys without any intimate conscious association, their results are identical. in the following pages, therefore, i shall refer to them jointly as impurity. the earliest evil which springs from impurity is the destruction of the intimacy which has hitherto existed between the boy and his parents. closely associated with this is that duplicity of life which results from secrets which may be shared with the coarse but must be jealously concealed from everyone who is respected. untold harm follows these changes in a lad. hitherto he has had nothing to conceal from his mother--unless, indeed, his parents have been foolish enough to drive him into deception by undue severity over childish mistakes, and accidents, and moral lapses. every matter which has occupied his thoughts he has freely shared with those who can best lead him into the path of moral health. henceforth all is changed. the lad has his own inner life which he must completely screen from the kind eyes which have hitherto been his spiritual lights. concealment is soon found to be an easy thing. acts and words are things of which others may take cognisance; the inner life no one can ever know. a world is opened to the lad in which the restraints of adult opinion are not felt at all and the guidance and inspiration of a father's or mother's love never come. how completely this is the case in regard to impurity the reader will hardly doubt if he remembers that all parents believe their boys to be innocent, and that some per cent. of them are hopelessly hoodwinked. but this double life is not long confined to the subject of purity. the concealment which serves one purpose excellently can be made to serve another; and henceforth parents and adult friends need never know anything but what they are told. it is a sad day for the mother when first she realises that the old frankness has gone; it is a very, very much sadder day for the boy. there is no fibre of his moral being but is, or will be, injured by this divorce of home influences and by this ever-accumulating burden of guilty memories. "his mother may not know why this is so," writes canon lyttelton; "the only thing she may be perfectly certain of is that the loss will never be quite made up as long as life shall last." another injury done by impurity to the growing mind of the lad is that, in all matters relating to sex, he learns to look merely for personal enjoyment. in every other department of life he is moved by a variety of motives: by the desire to please, the desire to excel, by devotion to duty, by the love of truth, and by many other desires. even in gratifying the appetite most nearly on the same plane as the sexual appetite--namely, that of hunger--he has more or less regard for his own well-being, more or less consideration for the wishes of others, and a constant desire to attain the standard expected of him. meanwhile, as regards the sexual appetite--the racial importance of which is great; and the regulation of which is of infinite importance for himself, for those who may otherwise become its victims, for the wife he may one day wed, and for the children, legitimate or illegitimate, that he may beget--his one idea is personal enjoyment. one deplorable result of this idea will be adverted to in the next chapter. when boyish impurity involves a coarse way of looking at sexual relations, as it always must when these are matters of common talk and jest, the boy suffers a loss which prejudicially affects the whole tone of his mind and every department of his conduct--i mean the loss of reverence. it is those things alone which are sacred to us, those things about which we can talk only with friends, and about which we can jest with no one, that have inspiration in them, that can give us power to follow our ideals and to lay a restraining hand on the brute within us. fortunately the self-control which manifests itself in heroism, in good form, and in the sportsmanlike spirit is sacred to almost all. to most, a mother's love is sacred. to many, all that is implied in the word religion. to a few, sexual passion and the great manifestations of human genius in poetry, music, painting, sculpture, and architecture. exactly in proportion as these things are profaned by jest and mockery, is the light of the soul quenched and man degraded to the level of the beast. considering how large a part the sex-passion plays in the lives of most men and women; considering how it permeates the literature and art of the world and is--as the basis of the home--the most potent factor in social life, its profanation is a terrible loss, and the habit of mind which such profanation engenders cannot fail to weaken the whole spirit of reverence. i must confess that the man who jests over sex relations is to me incomparably lower than the man who sustains clean but wholly illegitimate sex relations; and while i am conscious of a strong movement of friendship towards a lad who has admitted impurity in his life but retains reverence for purity, it is hard to feel anything but repulsion towards one who profanes the subject of sex with coarse and ribald talk. as a result of the two evils of which i have now spoken, together with the physical effects of masturbation, young men become powerless to face the sexual temptations of manhood; and many, who in all other relations of life are admirable, sink in this matter into the mire of prostitution or the less demoralising, but far crueller, sin of seduction. thrown on the streets, usually through no fault of her own, often merely from an over-trustful love, the prostitute sinks to the lowest depths of degradation and despair. it is not merely that she sells to every comer, clean or bestial, without even the excuse of appetite or of passion, what should be yielded alone to love; but it is also that to do this she poisons body and mind with spirit-drinking, leads a life of demoralising indolence and self-indulgence, is cut off from all decent associations, and sinks, under the combined influence of these things and of fell disease, into a loathsome creature whom not the lowest wants; sinks into destitution, misery, suicide, or the outcast's early grave. writing of the young man who is familiar with london, the headmaster of eton says: "he cannot fail to see around him a whole world of ruined life--a ghastly varnish of gaiety spread over immeasurable tracts of death and corruption; a state of things so heart-rending and so hopeless that on calm consideration of it the brain reels, and sober-minded people who, from motives of pity, have looked the hideous evil in the face, have asserted that nothing in their experience has seemed to threaten them so nearly with a loss of reason." into the contamination of this inferno, into active support of this cruel infamy, many and many a young man is led by the impurity of his boyhood. such at least is the conclusion of some who know boys best. thus dr. dukes writes: "this evil, of which i have spoken so long and so freely, is, i believe, _the root of the evil of prostitution_ and similar vices; and if this latter evil is to be mitigated, it can only be, to my mind, by making the life of the schoolboy purer. "how is it possible to put a stop to this terrible social evil? how is it possible to _elevate women_ while the demand for them for base purposes is so great? we must go to the other end of the scale and make men better; we must train young boys more in purity of life and chastity before their passions become uncontrollable. "whereas the cry of every moralist and philanthropist is, 'let us put a stop to this prostitution, open and clandestine.' this cannot be effected at present, much as it is to be desired; the demand for it is too great, even possibly greater than the supply. if we wish to eradicate it, we must go to the fountainhead and make those who create the demand purer, so that, the demand falling off, the supply will be curtailed."[c] [footnote c: _the preservation of health_, p. .] to this i venture to add that by teaching chastity we not merely decrease the demand for prostitutes, but we greatly diminish the supply. few girls, if any, take to the streets until they have been seduced; and the antecedents of seduction are the morbid exaggeration of the sexual appetite, the lack of self-control, and the selfish hedonism which youthful impurity engenders. the selfishness, and consequent blindness to cruelty, of which i write, manifests itself quite early. a boy of chivalrous feeling, whose blood would boil at any other form of outrage on a girl, will read a newspaper account of rape or indecent assault with a pleasure so intense that indignation and disgust are quite crowded out of his mind. if, repelled by the coarseness of the streets, the young man allows lust or passion to lead him into seduction, he commits a crime the consequences of which are usually cruel in the extreme; for in most cases the seduced girl sinks of necessity into prostitution. so blind, so callous does impurity make even the refined and generous, that many a young man who can be a good son, a good brother, a noble friend, a patriotic citizen, will doom a girl whose only fault is that she is physically attractive--and possibly too affectionate and trusting--to torturing anxiety, to illness, to the horrible suffering of undesired travail, to disgrace, and in nineteen cases out of twenty to ostracism and the infamy of the streets. murder is a small thing compared with this. who would not rather that his daughter were killed in her innocence than that she should be doomed to such a fate? many young men are ignorant of the fact that sexual relations with prostitutes frequently result in the foulest and most terrible of diseases. venereal diseases, as these are called, commence in the private parts themselves, but the poison which they engender soon attacks other parts of the body and often wrecks the general health. it gives rise to loathsome skin disease, to degeneration of the nervous system and paralysis, to local disease in the heart, lungs, and digestive organs, and to such lowering of vitality as renders the body an easy prey to disease generally. no one is justified in looking upon this risk as a matter of merely private concern. health is of supreme importance not merely to the personal happiness and success of the man himself, but also to the services he can render to his friends, to his nation, and to humanity. even if a young man is foolish enough to risk his happiness and success for the sake of animal enjoyment, he cannot without base selfishness and disloyalty disregard the duties he owes to others. further, the man who suffers from venereal disease is certain to pass its poison on to his wife and children--cursing thus with unspeakable misery those whom of all others it is his duty to protect and bless. one cannot help feeling at times that the blessings of home--and of the monogamy which makes home possible--are terribly discounted by a condition of things which offer a young man no other alternatives to chastity than these terrible evils. now that year by year the rising standard of living and the increased exactions which the state makes on the industrious and provident cause marriage to be a luxury too expensive for many, and delayed unduly for most, the problem of social purity becomes ever greater and more urgent. the instruction of the young in relation to sex provides the only solution, and is, i venture to think, incomparably the most important social reform now needed. i am confident that a boy who receives wise training and sex guidance from his early days will never find lust the foul and uncontrollable element which it is to-day in the lives of most men; that in a few generations our nation could be freed from the seething corruption which poisons its life; and that, while freer scope could be given to the ineffable joys of pure sexual love, very much could be done to diminish the awful misery and degradation engendered by lust. if children had from their infancy an instinctive and growing desire for alcohol, with secret and unrestrained means of gratifying it; if by its indulgence this desire grew into an overmastering craving; if throughout childhood they received no word of warning or guidance from the good, but were tempted and corrupted by the evil, we should have a nation in which most men and women were drunkards, ready to break all laws--human and divine--which stood in the way of an imperious need; a nation in which, among those who declined to yield to iniquity, the craving for drink caused unceasing and life-long struggle. on the young man of to-day we lay a burden which no ordinary man was ever yet able to bear. his boyhood and youth become, through ignorance, the prey of lust; his passions become tyrannous; his will is enslaved. even if he contracts marriage, his troubles are not at an end, for man, _as an animal_, is neither monogamous nor wholly constant. his neglected sex-education makes him far more susceptible to physical attractions than to those qualities which make a wife a good companion, a good housekeeper, and a good mother; and but too often, as a result, the beneficent influence of marriage is transient; the domestic atmosphere ceases to be congenial; both husband and wife become susceptible to other attachments, and the old struggle begins all over again. chapter v. sex knowledge is compatible with perfect refinement and innocence. the reader who has followed me through the preceding chapters will, i hope, feel that, whatever objections there may be to giving explicit instruction on sex matters to the young, such instruction is immensely to be preferred to the almost inevitable perversion which follows ignorance. if we had to choose between a state of "innocence" and a state of reverent knowledge, many people would doubtless incline to the former. no such option exists. our choice lies between leaving a lad to pick up information from vulgar and unclean minds, and giving it ourselves in such a manner as to invest it from the first with sacredness and dignity. even if the reader is still inclined to think that sex-knowledge is, at best, an unholy secret, he will hardly doubt that it can be divulged with less injury by an adult who is earnestly anxious for the child's welfare than by coarse and irreverent lips. i am not content to leave the reader in this dilemma. i am confident that the following words of canon lyttelton spring from the truest spiritual insight: "to a lover of nature, no less than to a convinced christian, the subject ought to wear an aspect not only negatively innocent, but positively beautiful. it is a recurrent miracle, and yet the very type and embodiment of law; and it may be confidently affirmed that, in spite of the blundering of many generations, there is nothing in a normally-constituted child's mind which refuses to take in the subject from this point of view, provided that the right presentation of it is the first." nothing more forcibly convicts the present system of the evil which lies at its door than the current beliefs on this subject. at present, sexual knowledge is picked up from the gutter and the cesspool; and no purification can free it entirely in many minds from its original uncleanness. "love's a virtue for heroes!--as white as the snow on high hills, and immortal as every great soul is that struggles, endures, and fulfils." this is the prophet's belief, and yet, putting on one side those who actually delight in uncleanness, there appear to be many people who look upon the marriage certificate as a licence to impurity, and upon sexual union as a form of animal indulgence to which we are so strongly impelled that even the most refined are tempted by it into an act of conscious indelicacy and sin. such people read literally the psalmist's words: "behold, i was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me." it is surely some such feeling as this which makes parents shrink from referring to the subject, which underlies the constant use of the word "innocence" as the aptest description of a state of mind which precedes the acquisition of sexual knowledge. that individuals, at least, have risen to a loftier conception than this is certain; and the only possible explanations of the prevalence of the current idea are that sex-knowledge has almost always been obtained from a tainted source; and that, while the coarse have not merely whispered their views in the ear in the closet, but have, in all ages, proclaimed them from the house-tops, the refined have hardly whispered their ideas, much less discussed them publicly. children growing up with perverted views have listened to the loud assertions of disputants on the one side, have witnessed the demoralisation which so often attends the sexual passion, but have received no hint of what may be said on the other side of the question. an instructed public opinion would be horrified at our sovereign's taking shares in a slave-trading expedition as queen elizabeth did. we are aghast at the days when crowds went forth to enjoy the torture at the stake of those from whom they differed merely on some metaphysical point. we have even begun to be restless under man's cruel domination over the animal creation. but we have made far less advance in our conceptions on sexual matters; and we are content here with ideas which were current in elizabethan days. but for this, no passion for conservatism, no reverence for a liturgy endeared by centuries of use, could induce us to tell every bride as she stands before god's altar that it is one of her functions to provide an outlet for her husband's passion and a safeguard against fornication. lust is at least as degrading in married life as it is outside it. no legal contract, no religious ceremony, can purify, much less sanctify, what is essentially impure. those who desire to assist in the uplifting of humanity cannot afford to be silent and to allow judgment to go against them by default. courage they will need; for a charge of indecency is sure to be levelled against them by the indecent, and they may be misjudged even by the pure. this is not the place in which so delicate a matter can be fully discussed, nor does space permit; but if the movement towards sex instruction is not to be stultified by the very ideas which evidence the need for it, the subject cannot be wholly ignored here, and i venture to throw out a few suggestions. are we indeed to believe that the noblest and most spiritual of men will compromise themselves in the eyes of the woman they love best, and whose respect they most desire, by committing in her presence and making her the instrument of an indelicate act? a great poet, who remained an ardent lover and a devoted companion until his wife died in his arms--blissfully happy that she might die so--has written: "let us not always say, 'spite of the flesh to-day i strove, made head, gained ground upon the whole.' as the bird wings and sings, let us cry, 'all good things are ours, nor soul helps flesh more, now, than flesh helps soul.'" again: are we, who believe in a divine government of the world, able to imagine that god has made the perpetuation of the race dependent upon acts of sin or of indelicacy? did he who graced with his presence the marriage at cana in galilee really countenance a ceremony which was a prelude to sin? did he who took the little children in his arms and blessed them know, as he said "for of such is the kingdom of heaven," that not one of them could have existed without indelicacy, and that they were but living proof of their fathers' lapses and their mothers' humiliation? is he whom we address daily as "our father" willing to be described by a name with which impurity is of necessity connected? and has he implanted in us as the strongest of our instincts that which cannot elevate and must debase? again: it needs no wide experience of life, nor any very indulgent view of it, to feel some truth at least in the words tennyson puts into the mouth of his ideal man: "indeed i knew of no more subtle master under heaven than is the maiden passion for a maid not only to keep down _the base in man_, but teach high thought, and amiable words, and courtliness, and the desire for fame, and love of truth, and all that makes a man." and yet this passion is indisputably sexual passion, and the chastest of lovers has bodily proof that the most spiritual of his kisses is allied to the supreme embrace of love. our body is the instrument by which all our emotions are expressed. the most obvious way of expressing affection is by bodily contact. the mother fondles her child, kisses its lips and its limbs, and presses it to her breast. young children hold hands, put their arms round one another and kiss; and, although later we become less demonstrative, we still take our friend's arm, press his hand with ours, and lay a hand upon his shoulder; we pat our horse or dog and stroke our cat. the lover returns to the spontaneous and unrestrained caresses of his childhood. these become more and more intimate until they find their consummation in the most intimate and most sacred of all embraces. from first to last these caresses--however deep the pleasure they bestow--are sought by the mother or the lover, not _for the sake of_ that pleasure, but as a means of expressing emotion. he only who realises this fact and conforms to it can enter on married life with any certainty of happiness. the happiness of very many marriages is irretrievably shattered at the outset through the craving for sexual excitement which, in the absence of wise guidance, grows up in every normal boy's heart, and by the contemplation of sexual intercourse as an act of physical pleasure. and once again: it is the experience of those who have given instruction in sex questions to the young that by those whose minds have never been defiled the instruction is received with instant reverence, as something sacred; not with shame, as something foul. i venture once more to quote canon lyttelton, who sets forth his experience and my own in language the beauty of which i cannot imitate: "there is something awe-inspiring in the innocent readiness of little children to learn the explanation of by far the greatest fact within the horizon of their minds. the way they receive it, with native reverence, truthfulness of understanding, and guileless delicacy, is nothing short of a revelation of the never-ceasing bounty of nature, who endows successive generations of children with this instinctive ear for the deep harmonies of her laws. people sometimes speak of the indescribable beauty of children's innocence, and insist that there is nothing which calls for more constant thanksgiving than that influence on mankind. but i will venture to say that no one quite knows what it is who has foregone the privilege of being the first to set before them the true meaning of life and birth and the mystery of their own being." to the arguments thus briefly indicated it is no answer to say that sexual union is essentially physical, and that to regard it in any other way is transcendental. among primitive men eating and drinking were merely animal. we have made them, in our meals, an accompaniment to social pleasures, and in our religious life we have raised them to a sacramental level. chapter vi. conditions under which purity teaching is best given: remedial and curative measures. we have now seen that impurity is almost universal among boys who have been left without warning and instruction; that, under these conditions, it is practically inevitable; that its direct results are lowered vitality and serious injury to character, its indirect results an appalling amount of degradation and misery; finally, that there is nothing in sex knowledge, when rightly presented, which can in the least defile a child's mind. all that now remains is for us to consider by whom and under what circumstances instruction on this subject should be given, and what assistance can be rendered to boys who desire to lead chaste lives. without doubt, instruction should be given to a boy by his parents in the home. when young children ask questions with regard to reproduction, parents should neither ignore these question nor give the usual silly answers. if the occasion on which the question is asked is not one in which an answer can appropriately be given, the child should be gently warned that the question raised is one about which people do not openly talk, and the promise of an answer hereafter should be made. then, at the first convenient hour, the child can either be given the information he seeks or told that he shall hear all about the matter at some future specified time, as for example, his sixth or eighth birthday. in the absence of questions from a child, the ideal thing would be for the child, at the age of six, seven, or eight, to learn orally from his mother the facts of maternity and to receive warning against playing with his private parts. whether at this time it is best to teach him the facts of paternity is, i think, doubtful. canon lyttelton is strongly of opinion that the father's share in the child's existence should be explained when the mother's share is explained, and there is much weight in what he says. if the question of paternity is reserved, it should not be on the ground that there is anything embarrassing or indelicate about the matter, and, when the facts are revealed, the child should clearly understand that they have been withheld merely until his mind was sufficiently developed to understand them. the only safe guide in such matters is experience, and of this as yet we have unfortunately little. the question next arises: should it be the mother or the father who gives this instruction? as regards the earlier part of the instruction a confident reply can be made to this question. the information should be given by the parent whose relations with the child are the more intimate and tender, and whose influence over him is the greater. this will, of course, usually be the mother. the subject of paternity may, if reserved for future treatment, be appropriately given by the father, provided that he and his son are on really intimate terms. if timely warning is given to a child about playing with his private parts, no reference need be made to self-abuse until a boy leaves home for school, or until he is nearing the age of puberty. there are many mothers whose insight and tact will enable them to approach these questions in the best possible way and to say exactly the right thing. there are others--a large majority, i think--who would be glad of guidance, and there are not a few who would certainly leave the matter alone unless thus guided. it was mainly to assist parents in this work that i published last year a pamphlet entitled _private knowledge for boys_.[d] this embodies just what, in my opinion, should be said to an intelligent child, and it has, in my own hands, proved effective for many years past. in the case of _young_ children the teaching should certainly be oral, _provided_ that the mother knows clearly what to say, has sufficient powers of expression to say it well, and can talk without any feeling of embarrassment. unless these conditions co-exist i recommend the use of a pamphlet. as i have found that children often do not know what one means by the "private parts," i make this clear at the outset. [footnote d: to be obtained post free for nine stamps from mr. m. whiley, stonehouse, glos.] some into whose hands this book may come and who have boys of twelve and upwards to whom they have never given instruction, may possibly be glad of advice as to the manner in which the subject can best be dealt with in their case. for boys of this age, i am strongly of opinion that it is better in most cases to make use of a pamphlet than to attempt oral instruction. probably they already have some knowledge on the subject; possibly some sense of guilt. if so, it will be found very difficult to treat the matter orally without embarrassment--a thing to be avoided at all costs. i was interested to find that on receipt of my pamphlet professor geddes--one of the greatest experts on sex--placed it at once in the hands of his own boy, a fact from which his opinion on the relative merits of oral and printed instruction can easily be inferred. many of my readers who have boys of fourteen and upwards to whom they have hitherto given no instruction will, i hope, feel that they must now do this. i venture, therefore, to give a detailed account of the manner in which i should myself act in similar circumstances. i should arrange to be with the lad when there was no danger of interruption, and in such circumstances as would put him at his ease. i should tell him that i was conscious of unwisdom in not speaking to him before about a subject of supreme importance to him; that i took upon myself all blame for anything he might, in ignorance, have said or done; that through ignorance i had myself fallen and suffered, and that i should like him now to sit down and read through this pamphlet slowly and carefully. when he finished i should try by every possible means to make him sensible of my affection for him. i should associate myself in a few words with the sentiments of the writer, and should invite the lad to tell me whether he had fallen into temptation, and if so to what extent. a confidence of this kind assists a boy greatly and establishes a delightful intimacy. there are several points with regard to purity-teaching which need to be emphasised. such teaching can hardly be too explicit. "beating about the bush" is always indicative of the absence of self-possession. the embarrassment manifested is quickly perceived even by a young child, and is certain to communicate itself to the recipient. it is of paramount importance that the child should, from the first, feel that the knowledge imparted is pure; anything which suggests that it is indelicate should be studiously avoided. the introduction of a few science terms is advantageous in several ways: amongst others it relieves the tension which the spiritual aspect of the question may engender, it gives a lad a terminology which is free from filthy contamination. it is important that the information given should be full, otherwise the boy lives in a chronic state of curiosity, which, to his great detriment, he is ever trying to satisfy. if the reader feels that the information is dangerous, and aims, therefore, at imparting as little as possible, he is not fitted to do the work at all. no greater mistake can be made than that of taxing a boy with impurity as though it were a conscious and egregious fault. i have already expressed my strong opinion that, in almost every instance, the boy is a victim to be sympathised with, not a culprit to be punished. this opinion is shared, i believe, by everyone who has investigated the subject. it is certainly the opinion of canon lyttelton and dr. dukes. it is, indeed, easy to exaggerate the conscious guilt even of boys who have initiated others into masturbation. apart from the injustice to the boy of an attitude of severity, it is certain to shut the boy's heart up with a snap. if a pamphlet is used it should, without fail, be taken from a boy when he has read it. much harm may, i fear, result from supplying boys with the cheap pamphlets which well-meaning but inexperienced persons are producing. should the time ever come when parents give timely warning and instruction to boys, a very difficult problem will be solved for the schoolmaster. but in the meantime what ought the schoolmaster to do? the following plan commends itself to some eminent teachers. as soon as a boy is about to enter the school a letter is sent to his parents advising them to give the boy instruction, and a pamphlet is enclosed for this purpose. this plan has the decided advantage of shifting the responsibility on to the shoulders of those who ought to take it. the weakness of the plan arises from the fact that most parents do not believe in the prevalence of impurity among boys, and are quite confident that their own boys need no warning. hence they may do nothing at all, or merely content themselves with some vague and quite useless statement. the traditions of most boys' schools make it impossible for those intimate and respectful relations to exist between masters and boys without which confidential teaching of this kind may be even worse than useless. where masters are invariably referred to disrespectfully if not contemptuously, where a teacher's most earnest address is a "jaw" which the recipient is expected to betray and mock at with his companions; where to shield profanity, indecency, and bullying from detection is the imperative duty of every boy below the sixth; where failure to avert from a moral leper the kindly treatment which might restore him to health and prevent the wholesale infection of others is the one unpardonable sin, only one or two teachers of a generation can hope to do much, and the risk of failure is immense. i can hardly believe that the present race of teachers will long tolerate the system i here advert to. public opinion _can_ be organised and enlisted as strongly on the side of right as it is now, but too often, on the side of evil. mr. a.c. benson is very moderate when he writes: "to take no steps to arrive at such an organisation, and to leave it severely alone, is a very dark responsibility." even in such a school, some good is, i know, done by tactful public references to the existence of masturbation and to its deplorable consequences. the question is not free from difficulty even when the general atmosphere of the school is healthy and helpful. if one dared to leave this instruction until the age of puberty, the lad would be capable of a much deeper impression than he is at an earlier age, and the impression would be fresh just at the time at which it is most needed. in the case of boys who have come to me at nine or ten i have sometimes ventured to defer my interview for four or five years, and have found them quite uncorrupted. on the other hand, within an hour of penning these lines i have been talking to a little boy of eleven who commenced masturbation two years ago while he was under excellent home influence. one such boy may, without guilt, corrupt a whole set, for impurity is one of the most infectious as well as the most terrible of diseases. the ideal state in a school is not reached until periodical addresses on purity can be given to all with the certainty that by all they will be listened to and treated reverently and respectfully. such addresses cannot well be made the vehicle of sex information, but they can be so constructed as to guide those to whom individual instruction has not yet been given, and to strengthen those who, spite of full instruction, periodically need a helping hand. what results may we reasonably expect from adequate and timely instruction? i have so rarely met a case in which this has been given at home that i can only infer what these results might be from the cases in which my own instruction has been given in time. in almost every instance i feel sure that the results have been beneficial, that the temptation to impurity has been little felt, and that a healthy and chaste boyhood has resulted. canon lyttelton writes: "the influences of school life have been found to be impotent to deprave the tone of a boy who has been fortified by the right kind of instruction from his parents." this i can well believe, for, if the schoolmaster can do much, there can be no limit to a power which has been cradled in the sanctity of home and cherished by a mother's love. this appears to be the emphatic opinion also of dr. dukes. of a boy thus favoured, canon lyttelton writes: "he will feel that any rude handling of such a theme, even of only its outer fringe, is like the profaning of the holy of holies in his heart, and he will no more suffer it than he would suffer a stranger to defile the innermost shrine of his feelings by taking his mother's or his sister's name in vain. all the goading curiosity which drives other boys to pry greedily into nature's laws, in blank ignorance of their mighty import, their unspeakable depth, and spiritual unearthly harmonies, has been for him forestalled, enlightened, and purified." it is a sad step down from such a boy to the lad who has been given warning after corruption has begun. most boys feel such shame in confessing to failure that one has to accept with reserve the statements made by even the most truthful of those who are treading the upward path. after making due allowance for this source of error, my experience enables me to say confidently that, if a boy has not been long or badly corrupted, a radical change of attitude may be expected in him at once, and the habit of self-abuse will be instantly or rapidly relinquished. very different is the case of a lad who has long practised masturbation, or who has practised it for some time after the advent of puberty, or who has associated sexual imaginations with the practice. few such boys conquer the habit at once, however much they desire to, and, if the above conditions co-exist, a boy's progress is very slow, and years may pass without anything approaching cure. if in addition to the temptations from within he has foes also without in the form of companions who sneer at his desire for improvement, controvert the statements made to him, and throw temptation in his way, his chance of cure must be enormously decreased. of such cases i know nothing; for my experience lies solely among boys who have, outside their own hearts, little to hinder and very much to help. as i have dealt elsewhere with the question of aids to chastity, i will make only a brief reference to it here. the mind is so much influenced by the body that purity is impossible when the body is unduly indulged. no man exists who could inhale the vapour of chloroform without an irresistible desire to sleep. under these conditions the strongest will would not avail even if the victim knew that by surrender he was sacrificing everything he reverenced and held dear. the lad past the age of puberty who has much stimulating food, who drinks alcohol, who sleeps in a warm and luxurious bed and occupies it for some time before or after sleep, is certain, even if he takes much exercise, to be tempted irresistibly. dr. dukes considers that a heavy meat meal with alcohol shortly before bedtime is in itself sufficient to ensure a lad's fall. meanwhile, no abstinence which it not unduly rigorous, can save a boy from impurity if he gets into the habit of exchanging glances with girls who are socially inferior, if he reads suggestive books, looks at stimulating pictures and sights, and falls into the hopeless folly of entertaining sexual thoughts even momentarily. he who has not the strength to tread out a spark is little likely to subdue a conflagration. the best and most timely teaching will never make carelessness in these matters justifiable, and a boy who has once been corrupted and desires to master his lower nature has no chance of self-conquest unless he gives them his constant and careful attention. it is very important to fill a boy's leisure with congenial occupation. idleness and dullness make a boy specially susceptible to temptation. on the other hand, the fond parent who satisfies a boy's every whim and encourages the lad to think that his own enjoyment is the chief thing in life does his utmost to destroy the lad's chance of purity--or, indeed, of any virtue whatever. can anything be done for boys and young men who have become the slaves of self-abuse to such an extent that they groan in the words of st. paul: "the good that i would i do not, but the evil which i would not, that i do.... i delight in the law of god after the inward man, but i see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. o wretched man that i am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" can anything be done for the lad who has become so defiled by lustful thoughts that his utmost efforts fail to carry him forward, and even leave him to sink deeper in the mire. there are many, many such cases, alas! for as dr. acton says, "the youth is a dreamer who will open the floodgates of an ocean, and then attempt to prescribe at will a limit to the inundation." yes there is a remedy--i believe a specific--which can rapidly and, i think, finally restore strength to the enfeebled will and order the unclean spirit to come out of the man. it is hypnotic suggestion. let not the reader, however, think that the matter is a simple one. in all ages any great advance in the art of healing has, by the ignorant, been attributed to the powers of darkness. the divine healer himself did not escape from the charge of casting out devils by the prince of the devils, and, while hypnotic suggestion has long been used for therapeutic purposes on the continent and is now practised in government institutions there, the doctor or clergyman or teacher who uses it in england runs great risks; for in this subject, as in all others, it is those who are entirely without experience who are most dogmatic. in the case of the schoolmaster, its use in this connection is practically excluded. if he applies to a parent for permission to use it he probably runs his head against a blank wall of ignorance; for hypnotism, to most people, means a dangerous power by which an unscrupulous, strong-willed svengali dominates an abnormally weak-willed trilby whose will continues to grow weaker until the subject becomes a mere automaton; and most of us would rightly prefer that a boy should be his own master--even if he were rushing to headlong ruin--than that he should be the mere puppet of the most saintly man living. the human will is sacred and inviolable, and we do unwisely if we seek to control it or to remove those obstacles from its way by which alone it can gain divine strength. meanwhile the stimulus by which the mind acquires self-mastery usually comes from without in the form of spiritual inspiration; and to remove from a boy's path an obstacle which blocks it and is entirely beyond his own strength is equally desirable both in the physical and in the spiritual realm. those who think that without this obstacle a boy's power of self-control is likely to receive insufficient exercise will, of course, object to the instruction advocated in this book. if it is unwise to remove this obstacle from a boy's path it is equally unwise so to instruct him as to prevent the obstacle from arising. in _trustworthy_ hands hypnotic suggestion is a beneficent power which has no dangers and no drawbacks, and to decline to use it is to accept a very serious responsibility. for the teacher a further difficulty--not to mention that of time--is that, without betraying a boy's confidence or inducing him to allow his admissions to be passed on to his father, it is impossible to give his parents an idea of the urgency of the case. altogether the time for hypnotic suggestion in education is not yet, but the day must come when its use is recognised not only in physical cases such as nocturnal emissions and constipation, but in all cases in which the will-power is practically in abeyance, as it is in bad cases of impurity. for intelligent parents the difficulties are far less, and if any such care to pursue the subject farther, i would refer them to the volume on _hypnotism_ in the people's books series or to one of the larger medical works on the subject, such as _hypnotism and suggestion_, by dr. bernard hollander. to those who know boys well and love them much, there is something intensely interesting and pathetic about the spiritual struggle through which they have to pass. the path of self-indulgence seems so obviously the path to happiness; self-denial is so hard and self-control so difficult. "the struggle of the instinct that enjoys and the more noble instinct that aspires" is ever there. the young soul reaches out after good, but its grasp is weak. it needs much enlightenment, much encouragement, much inspiration, much patient tolerance of its faults, much hopeful sympathy with its strivings, if it is ever to attain the good it seeks. in the past it has met, without light or aid, unwarned and unprepared, the deadliest foe which can assail the soul. an appetite which has in all ages debased the weak, wrestled fiercely with the strong, and vanquished at times even the noble, is let loose upon an unwarned, unarmed, defenceless child. oh, the utter, the utter folly of it! for life after death the writer has no longing. immortality, if vouchsafed, appears to him to be a gift to be accepted trustfully and humbly, not to be yearned after with a sort of transcendental egoism. but to him the wish to-- "join the choir invisible of those immortal dead who live again in minds made better by their presence" grows ever stronger as the inevitable end draws nearer. to save young lives from the needless struggles and failures of my own, to secure healthy motherhood or maiden life to some whom lust might otherwise destroy, to add, for some at least, new sanctity to human passion--these have been my hopes in penning the foregoing pages. it has been my privilege and joy, in my own quiet sphere, to preserve boys from corruption and to restore the impure to cleanness of heart. i am deeply grateful for the opportunity these pages afford of extending this delightful work. when the hand which writes these lines has long been cold in death, may the message which it speeds this day breathe peace and strength into many an eager heart. note to correspondents. to boys. i warmly invite any boy who has read these pages to write to me if he feels inclined to do so. since this book was first published i have received hundreds of letters from boys who have, without any definite invitation, understood that it would please me much to hear from them. many boys feel all the better for frankly confessing their difficulties to a man who fully understands and sympathises with them. some desire advice about their own case. anyone who accepts this invitation will do wisely to give me a full and frank history of his difficulties. his confidences will, of course, be strictly respected. he will also, i hope, remember that i am an extremely busy man with many and urgent claims on my time, and that i cannot always reply as quickly and as fully as i should like to do. to young men. before a young man marries he should always seek advice from a trustworthy source with regard to his conduct as a husband. no satisfactory book is, or perhaps could be, published on this subject; and even if a young man can make up his mind to consult a doctor, it is by no means every doctor who has the needful knowledge on this subject or the best moral outlook. it has been my privilege to help several in this matter, and i am always happy to do this. to boys and young men. i earnestly warn you against those who, by advertisement in the papers, offer to cure young men who are suffering from weakness of the private parts and other ills which impurity entails. many such advertisers are little better than rogues, who are out to make money by trading on the fears of their victims; their "treatment"--quite apart from a far greater cost than at first appears--often does more harm than good. in every case in which disease or weakness exists, or is suspected, a reliable medical man should be at once consulted. if this is done, a cure may generally be looked for. do not write to me; this is a doctor's business, not mine. the delights of wisdom pertaining to conjugial love _to which is added_ the pleasures of insanity pertaining to scortatory love by emanuel swedenborg _a swede_ _being a translation of his work_ "delitiæ sapientiæ de amore conjugiali; post quas sequuntur voluptates insaniæ de amore scortatorio" (amstelodami ) _published_ a.d. preliminary relations respecting the joys of heaven and nuptials there. . "i am aware that many who read the following pages and the memorable relations annexed to the chapters, will believe that they are fictions of the imagination; but i solemnly declare they are not fictions, but were truly done and seen; and that i saw them, not in any state of the mind asleep, but in a state of perfect wakefulness: for it has pleased the lord to manifest himself to me, and to send me to teach the things relating to the new church, which is meant by the new jerusalem in the revelation: for which purpose he has opened the interiors of my mind and spirit; by virtue of which privilege it has been granted me to be in the spiritual world with angels, and at the same time in the natural world with men, and this now ( ) for twenty-five years." . on a certain time there appeared to me an angel flying beneath the eastern heaven, with a trumpet in his hand, which he held to his mouth, and sounded towards the north, the west, and the south. he was clothed in a robe, which waved behind him as he flew along, and was girt about the waist with a band that shone like fire and glittered with carbuncles, and sapphires: he flew with his face downwards, and alighted gently on the ground, near where i was standing. as soon as he touched the ground with his feet, he stood erect, and walked to and fro: and on seeing me he directed his steps towards me. i was in the spirit, and was standing in that state on a little eminence in the southern quarter of the spiritual world. when he came near, i addressed him and asked him his errand, telling him that i had heard the sound of his trumpet, and had observed his descent through the air. he replied, "my commission is to call together such of the inhabitants of this part of the spiritual world, as have come hither from the various kingdoms of christendom, and have been most distinguished for their learning, their ingenuity, and their wisdom, to assemble on this little eminence where you are now standing, and to declare their real sentiments, as to what they had thought, understood, and inwardly perceived, while in the natural world, respecting heavenly joy and eternal happiness. the occasion of my commission is this: several who have lately come from the natural world, and have been admitted into our heavenly society, which is in the east, have informed us, that there is not a single person throughout the whole christian world that is acquainted with the true nature of heavenly joy and eternal happiness; consequently that not a single person is acquainted with the nature of heaven. this information greatly surprised my brethren and companions; and they said to me, 'go down, call together and assemble those who are most eminent for wisdom in the world of spirits, (where all men are first collected after their departure out of the natural world,) so that we may know of a certainty, from the testimony of many, whether it be true that such thick darkness, or dense ignorance, respecting a future life, prevails among christians.'" the angel then said to me, "wait awhile, and you will see several companies of the wise ones flocking together to this place, and the lord will prepare them a house of assembly." i waited, and lo! in the space of half an hour, i saw two companies from the north, two from the west, and two from the south; and as they came near, they were introduced by the angel that blew the trumpet into the house of assembly prepared for them, where they took their places in the order of the quarters from which they came. there were six groups or companies, and a seventh from the east, which, from its superior light, was not visible to the rest. when they were all assembled, the angel explained to them the reason of their meeting, and desired that each company in order would declare their sentiments respecting heavenly joy and eternal happiness. then each company formed themselves into a ring, with their faces turned one towards another, that they might recall the ideas they had entertained upon the subject in the natural world, and after examination and deliberation might declare their sentiments. . after some deliberation, the first company, which was from the north, declared their opinion, that heavenly joy and eternal happiness constitute the very life of heaven; so much so that whoever enters heaven, enters, in regard to his life, into its festivities, just as a person admitted to a marriage enters into all the festivities of a marriage. "is not heaven," they argued, "before our eyes in a particular place above us? and is there not there and nowhere else a constant succession of satisfactions and pleasures? when a man therefore is admitted into heaven, he is also admitted into the full enjoyment of all these satisfactions and pleasures, both as to mental perception and bodily sensation. of course heavenly happiness, which is also eternal happiness, consists solely in admission into heaven, and that depends purely on the divine mercy and favor." they having concluded, the second company from the north, according to the measure of the wisdom with which they were endowed, next declared their sentiments as follows: "heavenly joy and eternal happiness consist solely in the enjoyment of the company of angels, and in holding sweet communications with them, so that the countenance is kept continually expanded with joy; while the smiles of mirth and pleasure, arising from cheerful and entertaining conversation, continually enliven the faces of the company. what else can constitute heavenly joys, but the variations of such pleasures to eternity?" the third company, which was the first of the wise ones from the western quarter, next declared their sentiments according to the ideas which flowed from their affections: "in what else," said they, "do heavenly joy and eternal happiness consist but in feasting with abraham, isaac, and jacob; at whose tables there will be an abundance of rich and delicate food, with the finest and most generous wines, which will be succeeded by sports and dances of virgins and young men, to the tunes of various musical instruments, enlivened by the most melodious singing of sweet songs; the evening to conclude with dramatic exhibitions, and this again to be followed by feasting, and so on to eternity?" when they had ended, the fourth company, which was the second from the western quarter, declared their sentiments to the following purpose: "we have entertained," said they, "many ideas respecting heavenly joy and eternal happiness; and we have examined a variety of joys, and compared them one with another, and have at length come to the conclusion, that heavenly joys are paradisiacal joys: for what is heaven but a paradise extended from the east to the west, and from the south to the north, wherein are trees laden with fruit, and all kinds of beautiful flowers, and in the midst the magnificent tree of life, around which the blessed will take their seats, and feed on fruits most delicious to the taste, being adorned with garlands of the sweetest smelling flowers? in this paradise there will be a perpetual spring; so that the fruits and flowers will be renewed every day with an infinite variety, and by their continual growth and freshness, added to the vernal temperature of the atmosphere, the souls of the blessed will be daily fitted to receive and taste new joys, till they shall be restored to the flower of their age, and finally to their primitive state, in which adam and his wife were created, and thus recover their paradise, which has been transplanted from earth to heaven." the fifth company, which was the first of the ingenious spirits from the southern quarter, next delivered their opinion: "heavenly joys and eternal happiness," said they, "consist solely in exalted power and dignity, and in abundance of wealth, joined with more than princely magnificence and splendor. that the joys of heaven, and their continual fruition, which is eternal happiness, consist in these things, is plain to us from the examples of such persons as enjoyed them in the former world; and also from this circumstance, that the blessed in heaven are to reign with the lord, and to become kings and princes; for they are the sons of him who is king of kings and lord of lords, and they are to sit on thrones and be ministered to by angels. moreover, the magnificence of heaven is plainly made known to us by the description given of the new jerusalem, wherein is represented the glory of heaven; that it is to have gates, each of which shall consist of a single pearl, and streets of pure gold, and a wall with foundations of precious stones; consequently, every one that is received into heaven will have a palace of his own, glittering with gold and other costly materials, and will enjoy dignity and dominion, each according to his quality and station: and since we find by experience, that the joys and happiness arising from such things are natural, and as it were, innate in us, and since the promises of god cannot fail, we therefore conclude that the most happy state of heavenly life can be derived from no other source than this." after this, the sixth company, which was the second from the southern quarter, with a loud voice spoke as follows: "the joy of heaven and its eternal happiness consist solely in the perpetual glorification of god, in a never-ceasing festival of praise and thanksgiving, and in the blessedness of divine worship, heightened with singing and melody, whereby the heart is kept in a constant state of elevation towards god, under a full persuasion that he accepts such prayers and praises, on account of the divine bounty in imparting blessedness." some of the company added further, that this glorification would be attended with magnificent illuminations, with most fragrant incense, and with stately processions, preceded by the chief priest with a grand trumpet, who would be followed by primates and officers of various orders, by men carrying palms, and by women with golden images in their hand. . the seventh company, which, from its superior light, was invisible to the rest, came from the east of heaven, and consisted of angels of the same society as the angel that had sounded the trumpet. when these heard in their heaven, that not a single person throughout the christian world was acquainted with the true nature of heavenly joy and eternal happiness, they said one to another, "surely this cannot be true; it is impossible that such thick darkness and stupidity should prevail amongst christians: let us even go down and hear whether it be true; for if it be so, it is indeed wonderful." then those angels said to the one that had the trumpet, "you know that every one that has desired heaven, and has formed any definite conception in his mind respecting its joys, is introduced after death into those particular joys which he had imagined; and after he experiences that such joys are only the offspring of the vain delusions of his own fancy, he is led out of his error, and instructed in the truth. this is the case with most of those in the world of spirits, who in their former life have thought about heaven, and from their notions of its joys have desired to possess them." on hearing this, the angel that had the trumpet said to the six companies of the assembled wise ones, "follow me; and i will introduce you into your respective joys, and thereby into heaven." . when the angel had thus spoken, he went before them; and he was first attended by the company who were of opinion that the joys of heaven consisted solely in pleasant associations and entertaining conversation. these the angel introduced to an assembly of spirits in the northern quarter, who, during their abode in the former world, had entertained the same ideas of the joys of heaven. there was in the place a large and spacious house, wherein all these spirits were assembled. in the house there were more than fifty different apartments, allotted to different kinds and subjects of conversation: in some of these apartments they conversed about such matters as they had seen or heard in the public places of resort and the streets of the city; in others the conversation turned upon the various charms of the fair sex, with a mixture of wit and humor, producing cheerful smiles on the countenances of all present; in others they talked about the news relating to courts, to public ministers, and state policy, and to various matters which had transpired from privy councils, interspersing many conjectures and reasonings of their own respecting the issues of such councils; in others again they conversed about trade and merchandise; in others upon subjects of literature; in others upon points of civil prudence and morals; and in others about affairs relating to the church, its sects, &c. permission was granted me to enter and look about the house; and i saw people running from one apartment to another, seeking such company as was most suited to their own tempers and inclinations; and in the different parties i could distinguish three kinds of persons; some as it were panting to converse, some eager to ask questions, and others greedily devouring what was said. the house had four doors, one towards each quarter; and i observed several leaving their respective companies with a great desire to get out of the house. i followed some of them to the east door, where i saw several sitting with great marks of dejection on their faces; and on my inquiring into the cause of their trouble, they replied, "the doors of this house are kept shut against all persons who wish to go out; and this is the third day since we entered, to be entertained according to our desire with company and conversation; and now we are grown so weary with continual discoursing, that we can scarcely bear to hear the sound of a human voice; wherefore, from mere irksomeness, we have betaken ourselves to this door; but on our knocking to have it opened, we were told, that the doors of this house are never opened to let any persons out, but only to let them in, and that we must stay here and enjoy the delights of heaven; from which information we conclude, that we are to remain here to eternity; and this is the cause of our sorrow and lowness of spirits; now too we begin to feel an oppression in the breast, and to be overwhelmed with anxiety." the angel then addressing them said: "these things in which you imagined the true joys of heaven to consist, prove, you find, the destruction of all happiness; since they do not of themselves constitute true heavenly joys, but only contribute thereto." "in what then," said they to the angel, "does heavenly joy consist?" the angel replied briefly, "in the delight of doing something that is useful to ourselves and others; which delight derives its essence from love and its existence from wisdom. the delight of being useful, originating in love, and operating by wisdom, is the very soul and life of all heavenly joys. in the heavens there are frequent occasions of cheerful intercourse and conversation, whereby the minds (_mentes_) of the angels are exhilarated, their minds (_animi_) entertained, their bosoms delighted, and their bodies refreshed; but such occasions do not occur, till they have fulfilled their appointed uses in the discharge of their respective business and duties. it is this fulfilling of uses that gives soul and life to all their delights and entertainments; and if this soul and life be taken away, the contributory joys gradually cease, first exciting indifference, then disgust, and lastly sorrow and anxiety." as the angel ended, the door was thrown open, and those who were sitting near it burst out in haste, and went home to their respective labors and employments, and so found relief and refreshment to their spirits. . after this the angel addressed those who fancied the joys of heaven and eternal happiness consisted of partaking of feasts with abraham, isaac, and jacob, succeeded by sports and public exhibitions, and these by other feasts, and so on to eternity. he said, "follow me; and i will introduce you into the possession of your enjoyments:" and immediately he led them through a grove into a plain floored with planks, on which were set tables, fifteen on one side and fifteen on the other. they then asked, "what is the meaning of so many tables?" and the angel replied, "the first table is for abraham, the second for isaac, the third for jacob, and the rest in order for the twelve apostles: on the other side are the same number of tables for their wives; the first three are for sarah, abraham's wife, for rebecca, the wife of isaac, and for leah and rachel, the wives of jacob; and the other twelve are for the wives of the twelve apostles." they had not waited long before the tables were covered with dishes; between which, at stated distances, were ornaments of small pyramids holding sweetmeats. the guests stood around the tables waiting to see their respective presidents: these soon entered according to their order of precedency, beginning with abraham, and ending with the last of the apostles; and then each president, taking his place at the head of his own table, reclined on a couch, and invited the bystanders to take their places, each on his couch: accordingly the men reclined with the patriarchs and apostles, and the women with their wives: and they ate and drank with much festivity, but with due decorum. when the repast was ended, the patriarchs and apostles retired; and then were introduced various sports and dances of virgins and young men; and these were succeeded by exhibitions. at the conclusion of these entertainments, they were again invited to feasting; but with this particular restriction, that on the first day they should eat with abraham, on the second with isaac, on the third with jacob, on the fourth with peter, on the fifth with james, on the sixth with john, on the seventh with paul, and with the rest in order till the fifteenth day, when their festivity should be renewed again in like order, only changing their seats, and so on to eternity. after this the angel called together the company that had attended him, and said to them, "all those whom you have observed at the several tables, had entertained the same imaginary ideas as yourselves, respecting the joys of heaven and eternal happiness; and it is with the intent that they may see the vanity of such ideas, and be withdrawn from them, that those festive representations were appointed and permitted by the lord. those who with so much dignity presided at the tables, were merely old people and feigned characters, many of them husbandmen and peasants, who, wearing long beards, and from their wealth being exceedingly proud and arrogant, were easily induced to imagine that they were those patriarchs and apostles. but follow me to the ways that lead from this place of festivity." they accordingly followed, and observed groups of fifty or more, here and there, surfeited with the load of meat which lay on their stomachs, and wishing above all things to return to their domestic employments, their professions, trades, and handicraft works; but many of them were detained by the keepers of the grove, who questioned them concerning the days they had feasted, and whether they had as yet taken their turns with peter and paul; representing to them the shame and indecency of departing till they had paid equal respect to the apostles. but the general reply was, "we are surfeited with our entertainment; our food has become insipid to us, we have lost all relish for it, and the very sight of it is loathsome to us; we have spent many days and nights in such repasts of luxury, and can endure it no longer: we therefore earnestly request leave to depart." then the keepers dismissed them, and they made all possible haste to their respective homes. after this the angel called the company that attended him, and as they went along he gave them the following information respecting heaven:--"there are in heaven," says he, "as in the world, both meats and drinks, both feasts and repasts; and at the tables of the great there is a variety of the most exquisite food, and all kinds of rich dainties and delicacies, wherewith their minds are exhilarated and refreshed. there are likewise sports and exhibitions, concerts of music, vocal and instrumental, and all these things in the highest perfection. such things are a source of joy to them, but not of happiness; for happiness ought to be within external joys, and to flow from them. this inward happiness abiding in external joys, is necessary to give them their proper relish, and make them joys; it enriches them, and prevents their becoming loathsome and disgusting; and this happiness is derived to every angel from the use he performs in his duty or employment. there is a certain vein latent in the affection of the will of every angel, which attracts his mind to the execution of some purpose or other, wherein his mind finds itself in tranquillity, and is satisfied. this tranquillity and satisfaction form a state of mind capable of receiving from the lord the love of uses; and from the reception of this love springs heavenly happiness, which is the life of the above-mentioned joys. heavenly food in its essence is nothing but love, wisdom, and use united together; that is, use effected by wisdom and derived from love; wherefore food for the body is given to every one in heaven according to the use which he performs; sumptuous food to those who perform eminent uses; moderate, but of an exquisite relish, to those who perform less eminent uses; and ordinary to such as live in the performance of ordinary uses; but none at all to the slothful." . after this the angel called to him the company of the so-called wise ones, who supposed heavenly joys, and the eternal happiness thence derived, to consist in exalted power and dominion, with the possession of abundant treasures, attended with more than princely splendor and magnificence, and who had been betrayed into this supposition by what is written in the word,--that they should be kings and princes, and should reign for ever with christ, and should be ministered unto by angels; with many other similar expressions. "follow me," said the angel to them, "and i will introduce you to your joys." so he led them into a portico constructed of pillars and pyramids: in the front there was a low porch, through which lay the entrance to the portico; through this porch he introduced them, and lo! there appeared to be about twenty people assembled. after waiting some time, they were accosted by a certain person, having the garb and appearance of an angel, and who said to them, "the way to heaven is through this portico; wait awhile and prepare yourselves; for the elder among you are to be kings, and the younger princes." as he said this, they saw near each pillar a throne, and on each throne a silken robe, and on each robe a sceptre and crown; and near each pyramid a seat raised three feet from the ground, and on each seat a massive gold chain, and the ensigns of an order of knighthood, fastened at each end with diamond clasps. after this they heard a voice, saying, "go now and put on your robes; be seated, and wait awhile:" and instantly the elder ones ran to the thrones, and the younger to the seats; and they put on their robes and seated themselves. when lo! there arose a mist from below, which, communicating its influence to those on the thrones and the seats, caused them instantly to assume airs of authority, and to swell with their new greatness, and to be persuaded in good earnest that they were kings and princes. that mist was an _aura_ of phantasy or imagination with which their minds were possessed. then on a sudden, several young pages presented themselves, as if they came on wings from heaven; and two of them stood in waiting behind every throne, and one behind every seat. afterwards at intervals a herald proclaimed:--"ye kings and princes, wait a little longer; your palaces in heaven are making ready for you; your courtiers and guards will soon attend to introduce you." then they waited and waited in anxious expectation, till their spirits were exhausted, and they grew weary with desire. after about three hours, the heavens above them were seen to open, and the angels looked down in pity upon them, and said, "why sit ye in this state of infatuation, assuming characters which do not belong to you? they have made a mockery of you, and have changed you from men into mere images, because of the imagination which has possessed you, that you should reign with christ as kings and princes, and that angels should minister unto you. have you forgotten the lord's words, that whosoever would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven must be the least of all, and the servant of all? learn then what is meant by kings and princes, and by reigning with christ; that it is to be wise and perform uses. the kingdom of christ, which is heaven, is a kingdom of uses; for the lord loves every one, and is desirous to do good to every one; and good is the same thing as use: and as the lord promotes good or use by the mediation of angels in heaven, and of men on earth, therefore to such as faithfully perform uses, he communicates the love thereof, and its reward, which is internal blessedness; and this is true eternal happiness. there are in the heavens, as on earth, distinctions of dignity and eminence, with abundance of the richest treasures; for there are governments and forms of government, and consequently a variety of ranks and orders of power and authority. those of the highest rank have courts and palaces to live in, which for splendor and magnificence exceed every thing that the kings and princes of the earth can boast of; and they derive honor and glory from the number and magnificence of their courtiers, ministers, and attendants; but then these persons of high rank are chosen from those whose heartfelt delight consists in promoting the public good, and who are only externally pleased with the distinctions of dignity for the sake of order and obedience; and as the public good requires that every individual, being a member of the common body, should be an instrument of use in the society to which he belongs, which use is from the lord and is effected by angels and men as of themselves, it is plain that this is meant by reigning with the lord." as soon as the angels had concluded, the kings and princes descended from their thrones and seats, and cast away their sceptres, crowns, and robes; and the mist which contained the _aura_ of phantasy was dispersed, and a bright cloud, containing the _aura_ of wisdom encompassed them, and thus they were presently restored to their sober senses. . after this the angel returned to the house of assembly, and called to him those who had conceived the joys of heaven and eternal happiness to consist in paradisiacal delights; to whom he said, "follow me, and i will introduce you into your paradisiacal heaven, that you may enter upon the beatitudes of your eternal happiness." immediately he introduced them through a lofty portal, formed of the boughs and shoots of the finest trees interwoven with each other. after their admission, he led them through a variety of winding paths in different directions. the place was a real paradise, on the confines of heaven, intended for the reception of such as, during their abode on earth, had fancied the whole heaven to be a single paradise, because it is so called, and had been led to conceive that after death there would be a perfect rest from all kinds of labor; which rest would consist in a continual feast of pleasures, such as walking among roses, being exhilarated with the most exquisite wines, and participating in continual mirth and festivity; and that this kind of life could only be enjoyed in a heavenly paradise. as they followed the angel, they saw a great number of old and young, of both sexes, sitting by threes and tens in a company on banks of roses; some of whom were wreathing garlands to adorn the heads of the seniors, the arms of the young, and the bosoms of the children; others were pressing the juice out of grapes, cherries, and mulberries, which they collected in cups, and then drank with much festivity; some were delighting themselves with the fragrant smells that exhaled far and wide from the flowers, fruits, and odoriferous leaves of a variety of plants; others were singing most melodious songs, to the great entertainment of the hearers; some were sitting by the sides of fountains, and directing the bubbling streams into various forms and channels; others were walking, and amusing one another with cheerful and pleasant conversation; others were retiring into shady arbors to repose on couches; besides a variety of other paradisiacal entertainment. after observing these things, the angel led his companions through various winding paths, till he brought them at length to a most beautiful grove of roses, surrounded by olive, orange, and citron trees. here they found many persons sitting in a disconsolate posture, with their heads reclined on their hands, and exhibiting all the signs of sorrow and discontent. the companions of the angel accosted them, and inquired into the cause of their grief. they replied, "this is the seventh day since we came into this paradise: on our first admission we seemed to ourselves to be elevated into heaven, and introduced into a participation of its inmost joys; but after three days our pleasures began to pall on the appetite, and our relish was lost, till at length we became insensible to their taste, and found that they had lost the power of pleasing. our imaginary joys being thus annihilated we were afraid of losing with them all the satisfaction of life, and we began to doubt whether any such thing as eternal happiness exists. we then wandered through a variety of paths and passages, in search of the gate at which we were admitted; but our wandering was in vain: for on inquiring the way of some persons we met, they informed us, that it was impossible to find the gate, as this paradisiacal garden is a spacious labyrinth of such a nature, that whoever wishes to go out, enters further and further into it; 'wherefore,' said they, 'you must of necessity remain here to eternity; you are now in the middle of the garden, where all delights are centred.'" they further said to the angel's companions, "we have now been in this place for a day and a half, and as we despair of ever finding our way out, we have sat down to repose on this bank of roses, where we view around us olive-trees, vines, orange and citron-trees, in great abundance; but the longer we look at them, the more our eyes are wearied with seeing, our noses with smelling, and our palates with tasting: and this is the cause of the sadness, sorrow, and weeping, in which you now behold us." on hearing this relation, the attendant angel said to them, "this paradisiacal labyrinth is truly an entrance into heaven; i know the way that leads out of it; and if you will follow me, i will shew it you." no sooner had he uttered those words than they arose from the ground, and, embracing the angel, attended him with his companions. the angel as they went along, instructed them in the true nature of heavenly joy and eternal happiness thence derived. "they do not," said he, "consist in external paradisiacal delights, unless they are also attended with internal. external paradisiacal delights reach only the senses of the body; but internal paradisiacal delights reach the affections of the soul; and the former without the latter are devoid of all heavenly life, because they are devoid of soul; and every delight without its corresponding soul, continually grows more and more languid and dull, and fatigues the mind more than labor. there are in every part of heaven paradisiacal gardens, in which the angels find much joy; and so far as it is attended with a delight of the soul, the joy is real and true." hereupon they all asked, "what is the delight of the soul, and whence is it derived?" the angel replied, "the delight of the soul is derived from love and wisdom proceeding from the lord; and as love is operative, and that by means of wisdom, therefore they are both fixed together in the effect of such operation; which effect is use. this delight enters into the soul by influx from the lord, and descends through the superior and inferior regions of the mind into all the senses of the body, and in them is full and complete; becoming hereby a true joy, and partaking of an eternal nature from the eternal fountain whence it proceeds. you have just now seen a paradisiacal garden; and i can assure you that there is not a single thing therein, even the smallest leaf, which does not exist from the marriage of love and wisdom in use: wherefore if a man be in this marriage, he is in a celestial paradise, and therefore in heaven." . after this, the conducting angel returned to the house of assembly, and addressed those who had persuaded themselves that heavenly joy and eternal happiness consist in a perpetual glorification of god, and a continued festival of prayer and praise to eternity; in consequence of a belief they had entertained in the world that they should then see god, and because the life of heaven, originating in the worship of god, is called a perpetual sabbath. "follow me," said the angel to them, "and i will introduce you to your joy." so he led them into a little city, in the middle of which was a temple, and where all the houses were said to be consecrated chapels. in that city they observed a great concourse of people flocking together from all parts of the neighboring country; and among them a number of priests, who received and saluted them on their arrival, and led them by the hand to the gates of the temple, and from thence into some of the chapels around it, where they initiated them into the perpetual worship of god; telling them that the city was one of the courts leading to heaven, and that the temple was an entrance to a most spacious and magnificent temple in heaven, where the angels glorify god by prayers and praises to eternity. "it is ordained," said they, "both here and in heaven, that you are first to enter into the temple, and remain there for three days and three nights and after this initiation you are to enter the houses of the city, which are so many chapels consecrated by us to divine worship, and in every house join the congregation in a communion of prayers, praises, and repetitions of holy things; you are to take heed also that nothing but pious, holy, and religious subjects enter into your thoughts, or make a part of your conversation." after this the angel introduced his companions into the temple, which they found filled and crowded with many persons, who on earth had lived in exalted stations, and also with many of an inferior class: guards were stationed at the doors to prevent any one from departing until he had completed his stay of three days. then said the angel, "this is the second day since the present congregation entered the temple: examine them, and you will see their manner of glorifying god." on their examining them, they observed that most of them were fast asleep, and that those who were awake were listless and yawning; many of them, in consequence of the continual elevation of their thoughts to god, without any attention to the inferior concerns of the body, seemed to themselves, and thence also to others, as if their faces were unconnected with their bodies; several again had a wild and raving look with their eyes, because of their long abstraction from visible objects; in short, every one, being quite tired out, seemed to feel an oppression at the chest, and great weariness of spirits, which showed itself in a violent aversion to what they heard from the pulpit, so that they cried out to the preacher to put an end to his discourse, for their ears were stunned, they could not understand a single word he said, and the very sound of his voice was become painful to them. they then all left their seats, and, crowding in a body to the doors, broke them open, and by mere violence made their way through the guards. the priests hereupon followed, and walked close beside them, teaching, praying, sighing, and encouraging them to celebrate the solemn festival, and to glorify god, and sanctify themselves; "and then," said they, "we will initiate you into the eternal glorification of god in that most magnificent and spacious temple which is in heaven, and so will introduce you to the enjoyment of eternal happiness." these words, however, made but little impression upon them, on account of the listlessness of their minds, arising from the long elevation of their thoughts above their ordinary labors and employments. but when they attempted to disengage themselves from them, the priests caught hold of their hands and garments, in order to force them back again into the temple to a repetition of their prayers and praises; but in vain: they insisted on being left to themselves to recruit their spirits; "we shall else die," they said, "through mere faintness and weariness." at that instant, lo! there appeared four men in white garments, with mitres on their heads; one of them while on earth had been an archbishop, and the other three bishops, all of whom had now become angels. as they approached, they addressed themselves to the priests, and said, "we have observed from heaven how you feed these sheep. your instruction tends to their infatuation. do you not know that to glorify god means to bring forth the fruits of love; that is, to discharge all the duties of our callings with faithfulness, sincerity, and diligence? for this is the nature of love towards god and our neighbor; and this is the bond and blessing of society. hereby god is glorified, as well as by acts of worship at stated times after these duties. have you never read these words of the lord, _herein is my father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples_, john xv. . ye priests indeed may glorify god by your attendance on his worship, since this is your office, and from the discharge of it you derive honor, glory, and recompense; but it would be as impossible for you as for others thus to glorify god, unless honor, glory, and recompense were annexed to your office." having said this, the bishops ordered the doorkeepers to give free ingress and egress to all, there being so great a number of people, who, from their ignorance of the state and nature of heaven, can form no other idea of heavenly joy than that it consists in the perpetual worship of god. . after this the angel returned with his companions to the place of assembly, where the several companions of the wise ones were still waiting; and next he addressed those who fancied that heavenly joy and eternal happiness depend only on admittance into heaven, which is obtained merely by divine grace and favor; and that in such case the persons introduced would enter into the enjoyments of heaven, just as those introduced to a court-festival or a marriage, enter into the enjoyment of such scenes. "wait here awhile," said the angel, "until i sound my trumpet, and call together those who have been most distinguished for their wisdom in regard to the spiritual things of the church." after some hours, there appeared nine men, each having a wreath of laurel on his head as a mark of distinction: these the angel introduced into the house of assembly, where all the companies before collected were still waiting; and then in their presence he addressed the nine strangers, and said, "i am informed, that in compliance with your desire, you have been permitted to ascend into heaven, according to your ideas thereof, and that you have returned to this inferior or sub-celestial earth, perfectly well informed as to the nature and state of heaven: tell us therefore what you have seen, and how heaven appeared to you." then they replied in order; and the first thus began: "my idea of heaven from my earliest infancy to the end of my life on earth was, that it was a place abounding with all sorts of blessings, satisfactions, enjoyments, gratifications, and delights; and that if i were introduced there, i should be encompassed as by an atmosphere of such felicities, and should receive it with the highest relish, like a bridegroom at the celebration of his nuptials, and when he enters the chamber with his bride. full of this idea, i ascended into heaven, and passed the first guard and also the second; but when i came to the third, the captain of the guard accosted me and said, 'who are you, friend?' i replied, 'is not this heaven? my longing desire to ascend into heaven has brought me hither; i pray you therefore permit me to enter.' then he permitted me; and i saw angels in white garments, who came about me and examined me, and whispered to each other, 'what new guest is this, who is not clothed in heavenly raiment?' i heard what they said, and thought within myself, this is a similar case to that which the lord describes, of the person who came to the wedding, and had not on a wedding garment: and i said, 'give me such garments;' at which they smiled: and instantly one came from the judgment-hall with this command: 'strip him naked, cast him out, and throw his clothes after him;' and so i was cast out." the second in order then began as follows: "i also supposed that if i were but admitted into heaven, which was over my head, i should there be encompassed with joys, which i should partake of to eternity. i likewise wished to be there, and my wish was granted; but the angels on seeing me fled away, and said one to another, 'what prodigy is this! how came this bird of night here?' on hearing which, i really felt as if i had undergone some change, and was no longer a man: this however was merely imaginary, and arose from my breathing the heavenly atmosphere. presently, however, there came one running from the judgment-hall, with an order that two servants should lead me out, and conduct me back by the way i had ascended, till i had reached my own home; and when i arrived there, i again appeared to others and also to myself as a man." the third said, "i always conceived heaven to be some place of blessedness independent of the state of the affections; wherefore as soon as i came into this world, i felt a most ardent desire to go to heaven. accordingly i followed some whom i saw ascending thither, and was admitted along with them; but i did not proceed far; for when i was desirous to delight my mind (_animus_) according to my idea of heavenly blessedness, a sudden stupor, occasioned by the light of heaven, which is as white as snow, and whose essence is said to be wisdom, seized my mind (_mens_) and darkness my eyes, and i was reduced to a state of insanity: and presently, from the heat of heaven, which corresponds with the brightness of its light, and whose essence is said to be love, there arose in my heart a violent palpitation, a general uneasiness seized my whole frame, and i was inwardly excruciated to such a degree that i threw myself flat on the ground. while i was in this situation, one of the attendants came from the judgment-hall with an order to carry me gently to my own light and heat; and when i came there my spirit and my heart presently returned to me." the fourth said that he also had conceived heaven to be some place of blessedness independent of the state of the affections. "as soon therefore," said he, "as i came into the spiritual world, i inquired of certain wise ones whether i might be permitted to ascend into heaven, and was informed that this liberty was granted to all, but that there was need of caution how they used it, lest they should be cast down again. i made light of this caution, and ascended in full confidence that all were alike qualified for the reception of heavenly bliss in all its fulness: but alas! i was no sooner within the confines of heaven, than my life seemed to be departing from me, and from the violent pains and anguish which seized my head and body, i threw myself prostrate on the ground, where i writhed about like a snake when it is brought near the fire. in this state i crawled to the brink of a precipice, from which i threw myself down, and being taken up by some people who were standing near the place where i fell, by proper care i was soon brought to myself again." the other five then gave a wonderful relation of what befell them in their ascents into heaven, and compared the changes they experienced as to their states of life, with the state of fish when raised out of water into air, and with that of birds when raised out of air into ether; and they declared that, after having suffered so much pain, they had no longer any desire to ascend into heaven, and only wished to live a life agreeable to the state of their own affections, among their like in any place whatever. "we are well informed," they added, "that in the world of spirits, where we now are, all persons undergo a previous preparation, the good for heaven, and the wicked for hell; and that after such preparation they discover ways open for them to societies of their like, with whom they are to live eternally; and that they enter such ways with the utmost delight, because they are suitable to their love." when those of the first assembly had heard these relations, they all likewise acknowledged, that they had never entertained any other notion of heaven than as of a place where they should enter upon the fruition of never-ceasing delights. then the angel who had the trumpet thus addressed them: "you see now that the joys of heaven and eternal happiness arise not from the place, but from the state of the man's life; and a state of heavenly life is derived from love and wisdom; and since it is use which contains love and wisdom, and in which they are fixed and subsist, therefore a state of heavenly life is derived from the conjunction of love and wisdom in use. it amounts to the same if we call them charity, faith, and good works; for charity is love, faith is truth whence wisdom is derived, and good works are uses. moreover in our spiritual world there are places as in the natural world; otherwise there could be no habitations and distinct abodes; nevertheless place with us is not place, but an appearance of place according to the state of love and wisdom, or of charity and faith. every one who becomes an angel, carries his own heaven within himself, because he carries in himself the love of his own heaven; for a man from creation is the smallest effigy, image, and type of the great heaven, and the human form is nothing else; wherefore every one after death comes into that society of heaven of whose general form he is an individual effigy; consequently, when he enters into that society he enters into a form corresponding to his own; thus he passes as it were from himself into that form as into another self, and again from that other self into the same form in himself, and enjoys his own life in that of the society, and that of the society in his own; for every society in heaven may be considered as one common body, and the constituent angels as the similar parts thereof, from which the common body exists. hence it follows, that those who are in evils, and thence in falses, have formed in themselves an effigy of hell, which suffers torment in heaven from the influx and violent activity of one opposite upon another; for infernal love is opposite to heavenly love, and consequently the delights of those two loves are in a state of discord and enmity, and whenever they meet they endeavor to destroy each other." . after this a voice was heard from heaven, saying to the angel that had the trumpet, "select ten out of the whole assembly, and introduce them to us. we have heard from the lord that he will prepare them so as to prevent the heat and light, or the love and wisdom, of our heaven, from doing them any injury during the space of three days." ten were then selected and followed the angel. they ascended by a steep path up a certain hill, and from thence up a mountain, on the summit of which was situated the heaven of those angels, which had before appeared to them at a distance like an expanse in the clouds. the gates were opened for them; and after they had passed the third gate, the introducing angel hastened to the prince of the society, or of that heaven, and announced their arrival. the prince said, "take some of my attendants, and carry them word that their arrival is agreeable to me, and introduce them into my reception-room, and provide for each a separate apartment with a chamber, and appoint some of my attendants and servants to wait upon them and attend to their wishes:" all which was done. on being introduced by the angel, they asked whether they might go and see the prince; and the angel replied, "it is now morning, and it is not allowable before noon; till that time every one is engaged in his particular duty and employment: but you are invited to dinner, and then you will sit at table with our prince; in the meantime i will introduce you into his palace, and show you its splendid and magnificent contents." . when they were come to the palace, they first viewed it from without. it was large and spacious, built of porphyry, with a foundation of jasper; and before the gates were six lofty columns of lapis lazuli; the roof was of plates of gold, the lofty windows, of the most transparent crystal, had frames also of gold. after viewing the outside they were introduced within, and were conducted from one apartment to another; in each of which they saw ornaments of inexpressible elegance and beauty; and beneath the roof were sculptured decorations of inimitable workmanship. near the walls were set silver tables overlaid with gold, on which were placed various implements made of precious stones, and of entire gems in heavenly forms, with several other things, such as no eye had ever seen on earth, and consequently such as could never be supposed to exist in heaven. while they were struck with astonishment at these magnificent sights, the angel said, "be not surprised; the things which you now behold are not the production and workmanship of any angelic hand, but are framed by the builder of the universe, and presented as a gift to our prince; wherefore the architectonic art is here in its essential perfection, and hence are derived all the rules of that art which are known and practised in the world." the angel further said, "you may possibly conceive that such objects charm our eyes, and infatuate us by their grandeur, so that we consider them as constituting the joys of our heaven: this however is not the case; for our affections not being set on such things, they are only contributory to the joys of our hearts; and therefore, so far as we contemplate them as such, and as the workmanship of god, so far we contemplate in them the divine omnipotence and mercy." . after this the angel said to them, "it is not yet noon: come with me into our prince's garden, which is near the palace." so they went with him; and as they were entering, he said, "behold here the most magnificent of all the gardens in our heavenly society!" but they replied, "how! there is no garden here. we see only one tree, and on its branches and at its top as it were golden fruit and silver leaves, with their edges adorned with emeralds, and beneath the tree little children with their nurses." hereupon the angel, with an inspired voice said, "this tree is in the midst of the garden; some of us call it the tree of our heaven, and some, the tree of life. but advance nearer, and your eyes will be opened, and you will see the garden." they did so, and their eyes were opened, and they saw numerous trees bearing an abundance of fine flavored fruit, entwined about with young vines, whose tops with their fruit inclined towards the tree of life in the midst. these trees were planted in a continuous series, which, proceeding from a point, and being continued into endless circles, or gyrations, as of a perpetual spiral, formed a perfect spiral of trees, wherein one species continually succeeded another, according to the worth and excellence of their fruit. the circumgyration began at a considerable distance from the tree in the midst, and the intervening space was radiant with a beam of light, which caused the trees in the circle to shine with a graduated splendor that was continued from the first to the last. the first trees were the most excellent of all, abounding with the choicest fruits, and were called paradisiacal trees, being such as are never seen in any country of the natural world, because none such ever grew or could grow there. these were succeeded by olive-trees, the olives by vines, these by sweet-scented shrubs, and these again by timber trees, whose wood was useful for building. at stated intervals in this spiral or gyre of trees, were interspersed seats, formed of the young shoots of the trees behind, brought forward and entwined in each other, while the fruit of the trees hanging over at the same time enriched and adorned them. at this perpetually winding circle of trees, there were passages which opened into flower-gardens, and from them into shrubberies, laid out into areas and beds. at the sight of all these things the companions of the angels exclaimed, "behold heaven in form! wherever we turn our eyes we feel an influx of somewhat celestially-paradisiacal, which is not to be expressed." at this the angel rejoicing said, "all the gardens of our heaven are representative forms or types of heavenly beatitudes in their origins; and because the influx of these beatitudes elevated your minds, therefore you exclaimed, 'behold heaven in form!' but those who do not receive that influx, regard these paradisiacal gardens only as common woods or forests. all those who are under the influence of the love of use receive the influx; but those who are under the influence of the love of glory not originating in use, do not receive it." afterwards he explained to them what every particular thing in the garden represented and signified. . while they were thus employed, there came a messenger from the prince, with an invitation to them to dine with him; and at the same time two attendants brought garments of fine linen, and said, "put on these; for no one is admitted to the prince's table unless he be clothed in the garments of heaven." so they put them on, and accompanied their angel, and were shewn into a drawing-room belonging to the palace, where they waited for the prince; and there the angel introduced them to the company and conversation of the grandees and nobles, who were also waiting for the prince's appearing. and lo! in about an hour the doors were opened, and through one larger than the rest, on the western side, he was seen to enter in stately procession. his inferior counsellors went before him, after them his privy-counsellors, and next the chief officers belonging to the court; in the middle of these was the prince; after him followed courtiers of various ranks, and lastly the guards; in all they amounted to a hundred and twenty. then the angel, advancing before the ten strangers, who by their dress now appeared like inmates of the place, approached with them towards the prince, and reverently introduced them to his notice; and the prince, without stopping the procession, said to them, "come and dine with me." so they followed him into the dining-hall, where they saw a table magnificently set out, having in the middle a tall golden pyramid with a hundred branches in three rows, each branch having a small dish, or basket, containing a variety of sweetmeats and preserves, with other delicacies made of bread and wine; and through the middle of the pyramid there issued as it were a bubbling fountain of nectareous wine, the stream of which, falling from the summit of the pyramid separated into different channels and filled the cups. at the sides of this pyramid were various heavenly golden forms, on which were dishes and plates covered with all kinds of food. the heavenly forms supporting the dishes and plates were forms of art, derived from wisdom, such as cannot be devised by any human art, or expressed by any human words: the dishes and plates were of silver, on which were engraved forms similar to those that supported them; the cups were transparent gems. such was the splendid furniture of the table. . as regards the dress of the prince and his ministers, the prince wore a long purple robe, set with silver stars wrought in needle-work; under this robe he had a tunic of bright silk of a blue or hyacinthine color; this was open about the breast, where there appeared the forepart of a kind of zone or ribbon, with the ensign of his society; the badge was an eagle sitting on her young at the top of a tree; this was wrought in polished gold set with diamonds. the counsellors were dressed nearly after the same manner, but without the badge; instead of which they wore sapphires curiously cut, hanging from their necks by a golden chain. the courtiers wore brownish cloaks, wrought with flowers encompassing young eagles; their tunics were of an opal-colored silk, so were also their lower garments; thus were they dressed. . the privy-counsellors, with those of inferior order, and the grandees stood around the table, and by command of the prince folded their hands, and at the same time in a low voice said a prayer of thanksgiving to the lord; and after this, at a sign from the prince, they reclined on couches at the table. the prince then said to the ten strangers, "do ye also recline with me; behold, there are your couches:" so they reclined; and the attendants, who were before sent by the prince to wait upon them, stood behind them. then said the prince to them, "take each of you a plate from its supporting form, and afterwards a dish from the pyramid;" and they did so; and lo! instantly new plates and dishes appeared in the place of those that were taken away; and their cups were filled with wine that streamed from the fountain out of the tall pyramid: and they ate and drank. when dinner was about half ended, the prince addressed the ten new guests, and said, "i have been informed that you were convened in the country which is immediately under this heaven, in order to declare your thoughts respecting the joys of heaven and eternal happiness thence derived, and that you professed different opinions each according to his peculiar ideas of delight originating in the bodily senses. but what are the delights of the bodily senses without those of the soul? the former are animated by the latter. the delights of the soul in themselves are imperceptible beatitudes; but, as they descend into the thoughts of the mind, and thence into the sensations of the body, they become more and more perceptible: in the thoughts of the mind they are perceived as satisfactions, in the sensations of the body as delights, and in the body itself as pleasures. eternal happiness is derived from the latter and the former taken together; but from the latter alone there results a happiness not eternal but temporary, which quickly comes to an end and passes away, and in some cases becomes unhappiness. you have now seen that all your joys are also joys of heaven, and that these are far more excellent than you could have conceived; yet such joys do not inwardly affect our minds. there are three things which enter by influx from the lord as a one into our souls; these three as a one, or this trine, are love, wisdom, and use. love and wisdom of themselves exist only ideally, being confined to the affections and thoughts of the mind; but in use they exist really, because they are together in act and bodily employment; and where they exist really, there they also subsist. and as love and wisdom exist and subsist in use, it is by use we are affected; and use consists in a faithful, sincere, and diligent discharge of the duties of our calling. the love of use, and a consequent application to it, preserve the powers of the mind, and prevent their dispersion; so that the mind is guarded against wandering and dissipation, and the imbibing of false lusts, which with their enchanting delusions flow in from the body and the world through the senses, whereby the truths of religion and morality, with all that is good in either, become the sport of every wind; but the application of the mind to use binds and unites those truths, and disposes the mind to become a form receptible of the wisdom thence derived; and in this case it extirpates the idle sports and pastimes of falsity and vanity, banishing them from its centre towards the circumference. but you will hear more on this subject from the wise ones of our society, when i will send to you in the afternoon." so saying, the prince arose, and the new guests along with him, and bidding them farewell, he charged the conducting angel to lead them back to their private apartments, and there to show them every token of civility and respect, and also to invite some courteous and agreeable company to entertain them with conversation respecting the various joys of this society. . the angel executed the prince's charge; and when they were turned to their private apartments, the company, invited from the city to inform them respecting the various joys of the society, arrived, and after the usual compliments entered into conversation with them as they walked along in a strain at once entertaining and elegant. but the conducting angel said, "these ten men were invited into this heaven to see its joys, and to receive thereby a new idea concerning eternal happiness. acquaint us therefore with some of its joys which affect the bodily senses; and afterwards, some wise ones will arrive, who will acquaint us with what renders those joys satisfactory and happy." then the company who were invited from the city related the following particulars:--" . there are here days of festivity appointed by the prince, that the mind, by due relaxation, may recover from the weariness which an emulative desire may occasion in particular cases. on such days we have concerts of music and singing in the public places, and out of the city are exhibited games and shows: in the public places at such times are raised orchestras surrounded with balusters formed of vines wreathed together, from which hang bunches of ripe grapes; within these balusters in three rows, one above another, sit the musicians, with their wind and stringed instruments of various tones, both high and low, loud and soft; and near them are singers of both sexes who entertain the citizens with the sweetest music and singing, both in concert and solo, varied at times as to its particular kind: these concerts continue on those days of festivity from morning till noon, and afterwards till evening. . moreover, every morning from the houses around the public places we hear the sweetest songs of virgins and young girls, which resound though the whole city. it is an affection of spiritual love, which is sung every morning; that is, it is rendered sonorous by modifications of the voice in singing, or by modulations. the affection in the song is perceived as the real affection, flowing into the minds of the hearers, and exciting them to a correspondence with it: such is the nature of heavenly singing. the virgin-singers say, that the sound of their song is as it were self-inspired and self-animated from within, and exalted with delight according to the reception it meets with from the hearers. when this is ended, the windows of the houses around the public places, and likewise of those in the streets, are shut, and so also are the doors; and then the whole city is silent, and no noise heard in any part of it, nor is any person seen loitering in the streets, but all are intent on their work and the duties of their calling. . at noon, however, the doors are opened, and in the afternoon also the windows in some houses, and boys and girls are seen playing in the streets, while their masters and mistresses sit in the porches of their houses, watching over them, and keeping them in order. . at the extreme parts of the city there are various sports of boys and young men, as running, hand-ball, tennis, &c.; there are besides trials of skill among the boys, in order to discover the readiness of their wit in speaking, acting, and perceiving; and such as excel receive some leaves of laurel as a reward; not to mention other things of a like nature, designed to call forth and exercise the latent talents of the young people. . moreover out of the city are exhibited stage-entertainments, in which the actors represent the various graces and virtues of moral life, among whom are inferior characters for the sake of relatives." and one of the ten asked, "how for the sake of relatives?" and they replied, "no virtue with its graces and beauties, can be suitably represented except by means of relatives, in which are comprised and represented all its graces and beauties, from the greatest to the least; and the inferior characters represent the least, even till they become extinct; but it is provided by law, that nothing of the opposite, which is indecorous and dishonorable, should be exhibited, except figuratively, and as it were remotely. the reason of which provision is, because nothing that is honorable and good in any virtue can by successive progressions pass over to what is dishonorable and evil: it only proceeds to its least, when it perishes; and when that is the case, the opposite commences; wherefore heaven, where all things are honorable and good, has nothing in common with hell, where all things are dishonorable and evil." . during this conversation, a servant came in and brought word, that the eight wise ones, invited by the prince's order, were arrived, and wished to be admitted; whereupon the angel went out to receive and introduce them: and presently the wise ones, after the customary ceremonies of introduction, began to converse with them on the beginnings and increments of wisdom, with which they intermixed various remarks respecting its progression, shewing, that with the angels it never ceases or comes to a period, but advances and increases to eternity. hereupon the attendant angel said to them, "our prince at table while talking with these strangers respecting the seat or abode of wisdom, showed that it consists in use: if agreeable to you, be pleased to acquaint them further on the same subject." they therefore said, "man, at his first creation, was endued with wisdom and its love, not for the sake of himself, but that he might communicate it to others from himself. hence it is a maxim inscribed on the wisdom of the wise, that no one is wise for himself alone, or lives for himself, but for others at the same time: this is the origin of society, which otherwise could not exist. to live for others is to perform uses. uses are the bonds of society, which are as many in number as there are good uses; and the number of uses is infinite. there are spiritual uses, such as regard love to god and love towards our neighbour; there are moral and civil uses, such as regard the love of the society and state to which a man belongs, and of his fellow-citizens among whom he lives; there are natural uses, which regard the love of the world and its necessities; and there are corporeal uses, such as regard the love of self-preservation with a view to superior uses. all these uses are inscribed on man, and follow in order one after another; and when they are together, one is in the other. those who are in the first uses, which are spiritual, are in all the succeeding ones, and such persons are wise; but those who are not in the first, and yet are in the second, and thereby in the succeeding ones, are not so highly principled in wisdom, but only appear to be so by virtue of an external morality and civility; those who are neither in the first nor second, but only in the third and fourth, have not the least pretensions to wisdom; for they are satans, loving only the world and themselves for the sake of the world; but those who are only in the fourth, are least wise of all; for they are devils, because they live to themselves alone, and only to others for the sake of themselves. moreover, every love has its particular delight; for it is by delight that love is kept alive; and the delight of the love of uses is a heavenly delight, which enters into succeeding delights in their order, and according to the order of succession, exalts them and makes them eternal." after this they enumerated the heavenly delights proceeding from the love of uses, and said, that they are a thousand times ten thousand; and that all who enter heaven enter into those delights. with further wise conversation on the love of use, they passed the day with them until evening. . towards evening there came a messenger clothed in linen to the ten strangers who attended the angel, and invited them to a marriage-ceremony which was to be celebrated the next day, and the strangers were much rejoiced to think that they were also to be present at a marriage-ceremony in heaven. after this they were conducted to the house of one of the counsellors, and supped with him; and after supper they returned to the palace, and each retired to his own chamber, where they slept till morning. when they awoke, they heard the singing of the virgins and young girls from the houses around the public places of resort, which we mentioned above. they sung that morning the affection of conjugial love; the sweetness of which so affected and moved the hearers, that they perceived sensibly a blessed serenity instilled into their joys, which at the some time exalted and renewed them. at the hour appointed the angel said, "make yourselves ready, and put on the heavenly garments which our prince sent you;" and they did so, and lo! the garments were resplendent as with a flaming light; and on their asking the angel, "whence is this?" he replied, "because you are going to a marriage-ceremony; and when that is the case, our garments always assume a shining appearance, and become marriage garments." . after this the angel conducted them to the house where the nuptials were to be celebrated, and the porter opened the door; and presently being admitted within the house, they were received and welcomed by an angel sent from the bridegroom, and were introduced and shewn to the seats intended for them: and soon after they were invited into an ante-chamber, in the middle of which they saw a table, and on it a magnificent candlestick with seven branches and sconces of gold: against the walls there were hung silver lamps, which being lighted made the atmosphere appear of a golden hue: and they observed on each side of the candlestick two tables, on which were set loaves in three rows; there were tables also at the four corners of the room, on which were placed crystal cups. while they were viewing these things, lo! a door opened from a closet near the marriage-chamber, and six virgins came out, and after them the bridegroom and the bride, holding each other by the hand, and advancing towards a seat placed opposite to the candlestick, on which they seated themselves, the bridegroom on the left hand, and the bride on the right, while the six virgins stood by the seat near the bride. the bridegroom was dressed in a robe of bright purple, and a tunic of fine shining linen, with an ephod, on which was a golden plate set round with diamonds, and on the plate was engraved a young eagle, the marriage-ensign of that heavenly society; on his head he wore a mitre: the bride was dressed in a scarlet mantle, under which was a gown, ornamented with fine needle-work, that reached from her neck to her feet, and beneath her bosom she wore a golden girdle, and on her head a golden crown set with rubies. when they were thus seated, the bridegroom turning himself towards the bride, put a golden ring on her finger; he then took bracelets and a pearl necklace, and clasped the bracelets about her wrists, and the necklace about her neck, and said, "_accept these pledges_;" and as she accepted them he kissed her, and said, "now thou art mine;" and he called her his wife. on this all the company cried out, "may the divine blessing be upon you!" these words were first pronounced by each separately, and afterwards by all together. they were pronounced also in turn by a certain person sent from the prince as his representative; and at that instant the ante-chamber was filled with an aromatic smoke, which was a token of blessing from heaven. then the servants in waiting took loaves from the two tables near the candlestick, and cups, now filled with wine, from the tables at the corners of the room, and gave to each of the guests his own loaf and his own cup, and they ate and drank. after this the husband and his wife arose, and the six virgins attended them with the silver lamps, now lighted, in their hands to the threshold; and the married pair entered their chamber; and the door was shut. . afterwards the conducting angel talked with the guests about his ten companions, acquainting them how he was commissioned to introduce them, and shew them the magnificent things contained in the prince's palace, and other wonderful sights; and how they had dined at table with him, and afterwards had conversed with the wise ones of the society; and he said, "may i be permitted to introduce them also to you, in order that they may enjoy the pleasure of your conversation?" so he introduced them, and they entered into discourse together. then a certain wise personage, one of the marriage-guests, said, "do you understand the meaning of what you have seen?" they replied, "but little;" and then they asked him, "why was the bridegroom, who is now a husband, dressed in that particular manner?" he answered, "because the bridegroom, now a husband, represented the lord, and the bride, who is now a wife, represented the church; for marriages in heaven represent the marriage of the lord with the church. this is the reason why he wore a mitre on his head, and was dressed in a robe, a tunic, and an ephod, like aaron; and why the bride had a crown on her head, and wore a mantle like a queen; but to-morrow they will be dressed differently, because this representation lasts no longer than to-day." they further asked, "since he represented the lord, and she the church, why did she sit at his right hand?" the wise one replied, "because there are two things which constitute the marriage of the lord with the church--love and wisdom; the lord is love, and the church is wisdom; and wisdom is at the right hand of love; for every member of the church is wise as of himself, and in proportion as he is wise he receives love from the lord. the right hand also signifies power; and love has power by means of wisdom; but, as we have just observed, after the marriage-ceremony the representation is changed; for then the husband represents wisdom, and the wife the love of his wisdom. this love however is not primary, but secondary love; being derived from the lord to the wife through the wisdom of the husband: the love of the lord, which is the primary love, is the husband's love of being wise; therefore after marriage, both together, the husband and his wife, represent the church." they asked again, "why did not you men stand by the bridegroom, now the husband, as the six virgins stood by the bride, now the wife?" the wise one answered, "because we to-day are numbered among the virgins; and the number six signifies all and what is complete." but they said, "explain your meaning." he replied, "virgins signify the church; and the church consists of both sexes: therefore also we, with respect to the church, are virgins. that this is the case, is evident from these words in the revelation: '_these are those who were not defiled with women; for they are virgins: and they follow the lamb whithersoever he goeth_,' chap. xiv. . and as virgins signify the church, therefore the lord likened it to ten virgins invited to a marriage, mat. xxv. and as israel, zion, and jerusalem, signify the church, therefore mention is so often made in the word, of the virgin and daughter of israel, of zion, and of jerusalem. the lord also describes his marriage with the church in these words: '_upon thy right hand did stand the queen in gold of ophir: her clothing is of wrought gold: she shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework: the virgins her companions that follow her shall enter into the king's palace_.' psalm xlv. - ." lastly they asked, "is it not expedient that a priest be present and minister at the marriage ceremony?" the wise one answered, "this is expedient on the earth, but not in the heavens, by reason of the representation of the lord himself and the church. on the earth they are not aware of this; but even with us a priest ministers in whatever relates to betrothings, or marriage contracts, and hears, receives, confirms, and consecrates the consent of the parties. consent is the essential of marriage; all succeeding ceremonies are its formalities." . after this the conducting angel went to the six virgins, and gave them an account of his companions, and requested that they would vouchsafe to join company with them. accordingly they came; but when they drew near, they suddenly retired, and went into the ladies' apartment to the virgins their companions. on seeing this, the conducting angel followed them, and asked why they retired so suddenly without entering into conversation? they replied. "we cannot approach:" and he said, "why not?" they answered, "we do not know; but we perceived something which repelled us and drove us back again. we hope they will excuse us." the angel then returned to his companions, and told them what the virgins had said, and added, "i conjecture that your love of the sex is not chaste. in heaven we love virgins for their beauty and the elegance of their manners; and we love them intensely, but chastely." hereupon his companions smiled and said, "you conjecture right: who can behold such beauties near and not feel some excitement?" . after much entertaining conversation the marriage-guests departed, and also the ten strangers with their attendant angel; and the evening being far advanced, they retired to rest. in the morning they heard a proclamation, to-day is the sabbath. they then arose and asked the angel what it meant: he replied, "it is for the worship of god, which returns at stated periods, and is proclaimed by the priests. the worship is performed in our temples and lasts about two hours; wherefore if it please you, come along with me, and i will introduce you." so they made themselves ready, and attended the angel, and entered the temple. it was a large building capable of containing about three thousand persons, of a semicircular form, with benches or seats carried round in a continued sweep according to the figure of the temple; the hinder ones being more elevated than those in front. the pulpit in front of the seats was drawn a little from the centre; the door was behind the pulpit on the left hand. the ten strangers entered with their conducting angel, who pointed out to them the places where they were to sit; telling them, "every one that enters the temple knows his own place by a kind of innate perception; nor can he sit in any place but his own: in case he takes another place, he neither hears nor perceives anything, and he also disturbs the order; the consequence of which is, that the priest is not inspired." . when the congregation had assembled, the priest ascended the pulpit, and preached a sermon full of the spirit of wisdom. the discourse was concerning the sanctity of the holy scriptures, and the conjunction of the lord with both worlds, the spiritual and the natural, by means thereof. in the illustration in which he then was, he fully proved, that that holy book was dictated by jehovah the lord, and that consequently he is in it, so as to be the wisdom it contains; but that the wisdom which is himself therein, lies concealed under the sense of the letter, and is opened only to those who are in the truths of doctrine, and at the same time in goodness of life, and thus who are in the lord, and the lord in them. to his discourse he added a votive prayer and descended. as the audience were going out, the angel requested the priest to speak a few words of peace with his ten companions; so he came to them, and they conversed together for about half an hour. he discoursed concerning the divine trinity--that it is in jesus christ, in whom all the fulness of the godhead dwells bodily, according to the declaration of the apostle paul; and afterwards concerning the union of charity and faith; but he said, "the union of charity and truth;" because faith is truth. . after expressing their thanks they returned home; and then the angel said to them, "this is the third day since you came into the society of this heaven, and you were prepared by the lord to stay here three days; it is time therefore that we separate; put off therefore the garments sent you by the prince, and put on your own." when they had done so, they were inspired with a desire to be gone; so they departed and descended, the angel attending them to the place of assembly; and there they gave thanks to the lord for vouchsafing to bless them with knowledge, and thereby with intelligence, concerning heavenly joys and eternal happiness. . "i again solemnly declare, that these things were done and said as they are related; the former in the world of spirits, which is intermediate between heaven and hell, and the latter in the society of heaven to which the angel with the trumpet and the conductor belonged. who in the christian world would have known anything concerning heaven, and the joys and happiness there experienced, the knowledge of which is the knowledge of salvation, unless it had pleased the lord to open to some person the sight of his spirit, in order to shew and teach them? that similar things exist in the spiritual world is very manifest from what were seen and heard by the apostle john, as described in the revelation; as that he saw the son of man in the midst of seven candlesticks; also a tabernacle, temple, ark, and altar in heaven; a book sealed with seven seals; the book opened, and horses going forth thence; four animals around the throne; twelve thousand chosen out of every tribe; locusts ascending out of the bottomless pit; a dragon, and his combat with michael; a woman bringing forth a male child, and flying into a wilderness on account of the dragon; two beasts, one ascending out of the sea, the other out of the earth; a woman sitting upon a scarlet beast; the dragon cast out into a lake of fire and brimstone; a white horse and a great supper; a new heaven and a new earth, and the holy jerusalem descending described as to its gates, wall, and foundation; also a river of the water of life, and trees of life bearing fruits every month; besides several other particulars; all which things were seen by john, while as to his spirit he was in the spiritual world and in heaven: not to mention the things seen by the apostles after the lord's resurrection; and what were afterwards seen and heard by peter, acts xi.; also by paul; moreover by the prophets; as by ezekiel, who saw four animals which were cherubs, chap i. and chap x.; a new temple and a new earth, and an angel measuring them, chap. xl.-xlviii.; and was led away to jerusalem, and saw there abominations: and also into chaldea into captivity, chap. viii. and chap. xi. the case was similar with zechariah, who saw a man riding among myrtles; also four horns, chap. i. , and following verses; and afterwards a man with a measuring-line in his hand, chap. ii. , and following verses; likewise a candlestick and two olive trees, chap. iv. , and following verses; also a flying roll and an ephah, chap. v. , ; also four chariots going forth between two mountains, and horses, chap. vi. , and following verses. so likewise with daniel, who saw four beasts coming up out of the sea, chap. vii. , and following verses; also combats of a ram and he-goat, chap. viii. , and following verses; who also saw the angel gabriel, and had much discourse with him, chap. ix.: the youth of elisha saw chariots and horses of fire round about elisha, and saw them when his eyes were opened, kings vi. , and following verses. from these and several other instances in the word, it is evident, that the things which exist in the spiritual world, appeared to many both before and after the lord's coming: is it any wonder then, that the same things should now also appear when the church is commencing, or when the new jerusalem is coming down from the lord out of heaven?" on marriages in heaven. . that there are marriages in heaven cannot be admitted as an article of faith by those who imagine that a man after death is a soul or spirit, and who conceive of a soul or spirit as of a rarefied ether or vapor; who imagine also, that a man will not live as a man till after the day of the last judgment; and in general who know nothing respecting the spiritual world, in which angels and spirits dwell, consequently in which there are heavens and hells: and as that world has been heretofore unknown, and mankind have been in total ignorance that the angels of heaven are men, in a perfect form, and in like manner infernal spirits, but in an imperfect form, therefore it was impossible for anything to be revealed concerning marriages in that world; for if it had it would have been objected, "how can a soul be joined with a soul, or a vapor with a vapor, as one married partner with another here on earth?" not to mention other similar objections, which, the instant they were made, would take away and dissipate all faith respecting marriages in another life. but now, since several particulars have been revealed concerning that world, and a description has also been given of its nature and quality, in the treatise on heaven and hell, and also in the apocalypse revealed, the assertion, that marriages take place in that world, may be so far confirmed as even to convince the reason by the following propositions: i. _a man (homo) lives a man after death._ ii. _in this case a male is a male, and a female a female._ iii. _every one's peculiar love remains with him after death._ iv. _the love of the sex especially remains; and with those who go to heaven, which is the case with all who become spiritual here on earth, conjugial love remains._ v. _these things fully confirmed by ocular demonstration._ vi. _consequently that there are marriages in the heavens._ vii. _spiritual nuptials are to be understood by the lord's words, where he says, that after the resurrection they are not given in marriage._ we will now give an explanation of these propositions in their order. . i. a man lives a man after death. that a man lives a man after death has been heretofore unknown in the world, for the reasons just now mentioned; and, what is surprising, it has been unknown even in the christian world, where they have the word, and illustration thence concerning eternal life, and where the lord himself teaches, _that all the dead rise again; and that god is not the god of the dead but of the living_, matt. xxii. , . luke xx. , . moreover, a man, as to the affections and thoughts of his mind, is in the midst of angels and spirits, and is so consociated with them that were he to be separated from them he would instantly die. it is still more surprising that this is unknown, when yet every man that has departed this life since the beginning of creation, after his decease has come and does still come to his own, or, as it is said in the word, has been gathered and is gathered to his own: besides every one has a common perception, which is the same thing as the influx of heaven into the interiors of his mind, by virtue of which he inwardly perceives truths, and as it were sees them, and especially this truth, that he lives a man after death; a happy man if he has lived well, and an unhappy one if he has lived ill. for who does not think thus, while he elevates his mind in any degree above the body, and above the thought which is nearest to the senses; as is the case when he is interiorly engaged in divine worship, and when he lies on his death-bed expecting his dissolution; also when he hears of those who are deceased, and their lot? i have related a thousand particulars respecting departed spirits, informing certain persons that are now alive concerning the state of their deceased brethren, their married partners, and their friends. i have written also concerning the state of the english, the dutch, the papists, the jews, the gentiles, and likewise concerning the state of luther, calvin, and melancthon; and hitherto i never heard any one object, "how can such be their lot, when they are not yet risen from their tombs, the last judgement not being yet accomplished? are they not in the meantime mere vaporous and unsubstantial souls residing, in some place of confinement (_in quodam pu seu ubi_)?" such objections i have never yet heard from any quarter; whence i have been led to conclude, that every one perceives in himself that he lives a man after death. who that has loved his married partner and his children when they are dying or are dead, will not say within himself (if his thought be elevated above the sensual principles of the body) that they are in the hand of god, and that he shall see them again after his own death, and again be joined with them in a life of love and joy? . who, that is willing, cannot see from reason, that a man after death is not a mere vapor, of which no idea can be formed but as of a breath of wind, or of air and ether, and that such vapor constitutes or contains in it the human soul, which desires and expects conjunction with its body, in order that it may enjoy the bodily senses and their delights, as previously in the world? we cannot see, that if this were the case with a man after death, his state would be more deplorable than that of fishes, birds, and terrestrial animals, whose souls are not alive, and consequently are not in such anxiety of desire and expectation? supposing a man after death to be such a vapor, and thus a breath of wind, he would either fly about in the universe, or according to certain traditions, would be reserved in a place of confinement, or in the _limbo_ of the ancient fathers, until the last judgement. who cannot hence from reason conclude, that those who have lived since the beginning of creation, which is computed to be about six thousand years ago, must be still in a similar anxious state, and progressively more anxious, because all expectation arising from desire produces anxiety, and being continued from time to time increases it; consequently, that they must still be either floating about in the universe, or be kept shut up in confinement, and thereby in extreme misery; and that must be the case with adam and his wife, with abraham, isaac, and jacob, and with all who have lived since that time? all this being supposed true, it must needs follow, that nothing would be more deplorable than to be born a man. but the reverse of this is provided by the lord, who is jehovah from eternity and the creator of the universe; for the state of the man that conjoins himself with him by a life according to his precepts, becomes more blessed and happy after death than before it in the world; and it is more blessed and happy from this circumstance, that the man then is spiritual, and a spiritual man is sensible of and perceives spiritual delight, which is a thousand times superior to natural delight. . that angels and spirits are men, may plainly appear from those seen by abraham, gideon, daniel, and the prophets, and especially by john when he wrote the revelation, and also by the women in the lord's sepulchre, yea, from the lord himself as seen by the disciples after his resurrection. the reason of their being seen was, because the eyes of the spirits of those who saw them were opened; and when the eyes of the spirit are opened, angels appear in their proper form, which is the human; but when the eyes of the spirit are closed, that is, when they are veiled by the vision of the bodily eyes, which derive all their impressions from the material world, then they do not appear. . it is however to be observed, that a man after death is not a natural, but a spiritual man; nevertheless he still appears in all respects like himself; and so much so, that he knows not but, that he is still in the natural world: for he has a similar body, countenance, speech, and senses; for he has a similar affection and thought, or will and understanding. he is indeed actually not similar, because he is a spiritual, and consequently an interior man; but the difference does not appear to him, because he cannot compare his spiritual state with his former natural state, having put off the latter, and being in the former; therefore i have often heard such persons say, that they know not but that they are in the former world, with this difference, however, that they no longer see those whom they had left in that world; but that they see those who had departed out of it, or were deceased. the reason why they now see the latter and not the former, is, because they are no longer natural men, but spiritual or substantial; and a spiritual or substantial man sees a spiritual or substantial man, as a natural or material man sees a natural or material man, but not _vice versa_, on account of the difference between what is substantial and what is material, which is like the difference between what is prior and what is posterior; and what is prior, being in itself purer, cannot appear to what is posterior, which in itself is grosser; nor can what is posterior, being grosser, appear to what is prior, which in itself is purer; consequently an angel cannot appear to a man of this world, nor a man of this world to an angel. the reason why a man after death is a spiritual or substantial man, is, because this spiritual or substantial man lay inwardly concealed in the natural or material man; which natural or material man was to it as a covering, or as a skin about to be cast off; and when the covering or skin is cast off, the spiritual or substantial man comes forth, a purer, interior, and more perfect man. that the spiritual man is still a perfect man, notwithstanding his being invisible to the natural man, is evident from the lord's being seen by the apostles after his resurrection, when he appeared, and presently he did not appear; and yet he was a man like to himself both when seen and when not seen: it is also said, that when they saw him, their eyes were opened. . ii. in this case a male is a male, and a female a female. since a man (_homo_) lives a man after death, and man is male and female, and there is such a distinction between the male principle and the female principle, that the one cannot be changed into the other, it follows, that after death the male lives a male, and the female a female, each being a spiritual man. it is said that the male principle cannot be changed into the female principle, nor the female into the male, and that therefore after death the male is a male, and the female a female; but as it is not known in what the masculine principle essentially consists, and in what the feminine, it may be expedient briefly to explain it. the essential distinction between the two is this: in the masculine principle, love is inmost, and its covering is wisdom; or, what is the same, the masculine principle is love covered (or veiled) by wisdom; whereas in the feminine principle, the wisdom of the male is inmost, and its covering is love thence derived; but this latter love is feminine, and is given by the lord to the wife through the wisdom of the husband; whereas the former love is masculine, which is the love of growing wise, and is given by the lord to the husband according to the reception of wisdom. it is from this circumstance, that the male is the wisdom of love, and the female is the love of that wisdom; therefore from creation there is implanted in each a love of conjunction so as to become a one; but on this subject more will be said in the following pages. that the female principle is derived from the male, or that the woman was taken out of the man, is evident from these words in genesis: _jehovah god took out one of the man's ribs, and closed up the flesh in the place thereof; and he builded the rib, which he had taken out of the man, into a woman; and he brought her to the man; and the man said, this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; hence she shall be called eve, because she was taken out of man_, chap. ii. - : the signification of a rib and of flesh will be shewn elsewhere. . from this primitive formation it follows, that by birth the character of the male is intellectual, and that the female character partakes more of the will principle; or, what amounts to the same, that the male is born into the affection of knowing, understanding, and growing wise, and the female into the love of conjoining herself with that affection in the male. and as the interiors form the exteriors to their own likeness, and the masculine form is the form of intellect, and the feminine is the form of the love of that intellect, therefore the male and the female differ as to the features of the face, the tone of the voice, and the form of the body; the male having harder features, a harsher tone of voice, a stronger body, and also a bearded chin, and in general a form less beautiful than that of the female; they differ also in their gestures and manners; in a word, they are not exactly similar in a single respect; but still, in every particular of each, there is a tendency to conjunction; yea, the male principle in the male, is male in every part of his body, even the most minute, and also in every idea of his thought, and every spark of his affection; the same is true of the female principle in the female; and since of consequence the one cannot be changed into the other, it follows, that after death a male is a male, and a female a female. . iii. every one's peculiar love remains with him after death. man knows that there is such a thing as love; but he does not know what love is. he knows that there is such a thing from common discourse; as when it is said, that such a one loves me, that a king loves his subjects, and subjects love their king; that a husband loves his wife, and a mother her children, and _vice versa_; also when it is said, that any one loves his country, his fellow citizens, and his neighbour; in like manner of things abstracted from persons; as when it is said that a man loves this or that. but although the term love is thus universally applied in conversation, still there is scarcely any one that knows what love is: even while meditating on the subject, as he is not then able to form any distinct idea concerning it, and thus not to fix it as present in the light of the understanding, because of its having relation not to light but to heat, he either denies its reality, or he calls it merely an influent effect arising from the sight, the hearing, and the conversation, and thus accounts for the motions to which it gives birth; not being at all aware, that love is his very life, not only the common life of his whole body and of all his thoughts, but also the life of all their particulars. a wise man may perceive this from the consideration, that if the affection of love be removed, he is incapable both of thinking and acting; for in proportion as that affection grows cold, do not thought, speech, and action grow cold also? and in proportion as that affection grows warm, do not they also grow warm in the same degree? love therefore is the heat of the life of man (_hominis_), or his vital heat. the heat of the blood, and also its redness, are from this source alone. the fire of the angelic sun, which is pure love, produces this effect. . that every one has his own peculiar love, or a love distinct from that of another; that is, that no two men have exactly the same love, may appear from the infinite variety of human countenances, the countenance being a type of the love; for it is well known that the countenance is changed and varied according to the affection of love; a man's desires also, which are of love, and likewise his joys and sorrows, are manifested in the countenance. from this consideration it is evident, that every man is his own peculiar love; yea, that he is the form of his love. it is however to be observed, that the interior man, which is the same with his spirit which lives after death, is the form of his love, and not so the exterior man which lives in this world, because the latter has learnt from infancy to conceal the desires of his love; yea, to make a pretence and show of desires which are different from his own. . the reason why every one's peculiar love remains with him after death, is, because, as was said just above, n. , love is a man's (_hominis_) life; and hence it is the man himself. a man also is his own peculiar thought, thus his own peculiar intelligence and wisdom; but these make a one with his love; for a man thinks from this love and according to it; yea, if he be in freedom, he speaks and acts in like manner; from which it may appear, that love is the _esse_ or essence of a man's life, and that thought is the _existere_ or existence of his life thence derived; therefore speech and action, which are said to flow from the thought, do not flow from the thought, but from the love through the thought. from much experience i have learned that a man after death is not his own peculiar thought, but that he is his own peculiar affection and derivative thought; or that he is his own peculiar love and derivative intelligence; also that a man after death puts off everything which does not agree with his love; yea, that he successively puts on the countenance, the tone of voice, the speech, the gestures, and the manners of the love proper to his life: hence it is, that the whole heaven is arranged in order according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of good, and the whole hell according to all the affections of the love of evil. . iv. the love of the sex especially remains; and with those who go to heaven, which is the case with all who become spiritual here on earth, conjugial love remains. the reason why the love of the sex remains with man (_homo_) after death, is, because after death a male is a male and a female a female; and the male principle in the male is male (or masculine) in the whole and in every part thereof; and so is the female principle in the female; and there is a tendency to conjunction in all their parts, even the most singular; and as this conjunctive tendency was implanted from creation, and thence perpetually influences, it follows, that the one desires and seeks conjunction with the other. love, considered itself, is a desire and consequent tendency to conjunction; and conjugial love to conjunction into a one; for the male-man and the female-man were so created, that from two they may become as it were one man, or one flesh; and when they become a one, then, taken together they are a man (_homo_) in his fulness; but without such conjunction, they are two, and each is a divided or half-man. now as the above conjunctive tendency lies concealed in the inmost of every part of the male, and of every part of the female, and the same is true of the faculty and desire to be conjoined together into a one, it follows, that the mutual and reciprocal love of the sex remains with men (_homines_) after death. . we speak distinctively of the love of the sex and of conjugial love, because the one differs from the other. the love of the sex exists with the natural man; conjugial love with the spiritual man. the natural man loves and desires only external conjunctions, and the bodily pleasures thence derived; whereas the spiritual man loves and desires internal conjunctions and the spiritual satisfactions thence derived; and these satisfactions he perceives are granted with one wife, with whom he can perpetually be more and more joined together into a one: and the more he enters into such conjunction the more he perceives his satisfactions ascending in a similar degree, and enduring to eternity; but respecting anything like this the natural man has no idea. this then is the reason why it is said, that after death conjugial love remains with those who go to heaven, which is the case with all those who become spiritual here on earth. . v. these things fully confirmed by ocular demonstration. that a man (_homo_) lives as a man after death, and that in this case a male is a male, and a female a female; and that every one's peculiar love remains with him after death, especially the love of the sex and conjugial love, are positions which i have wished hitherto to confirm by such arguments as respect the understanding, and are called rational; but since man (_homo_) from his infancy, in consequence of what has been taught him by his parents and masters, and afterwards by the learned and the clergy, has been induced to believe, that he shall not live a man after death until the day of the last judgement, which has now been expected for six thousand years; and several have regarded this article of faith as one which ought to be believed, but not intellectually conceived, it was therefore necessary that the above positions should be confirmed also by ocular proofs; otherwise a man who believes only the evidence of his senses, in consequence of the faith previously implanted, would object thus: "if men lived men after death, i should certainly see and hear them: who has ever descended from heaven, or ascended from hell, and given such information?" in reply to such objections it is to be observed, that it never was possible, nor can it ever be, that any angel of heaven should descend, or any spirit of hell ascend, and speak with any man, except with those who have the interiors of the mind or spirit opened by the lord; and this opening of the interiors cannot be fully effected except with those who have been prepared by the lord to receive the things which are of spiritual wisdom: on which accounts it has pleased the lord thus to prepare me, that the state of heaven and hell, and of the life of men after death, might not remain unknown, and be laid asleep in ignorance, and at length buried in denial. nevertheless, ocular proofs on the subjects above mentioned, by reason of their copiousness, cannot here be adduced; but they have been already adduced in the treatise on heaven and hell, and in the continuation respecting the spiritual world, and afterwards in the apocalypse revealed; but especially, in regard to the present subject of marriages, in the memorable relations which are annexed to the several paragraphs or chapters of this work. . vi. consequently there are marriages in heaven. this position having been confirmed by reason, and at the same time by experience, needs no further demonstration. . vii. spiritual nuptials are to be understood by the lord's words, "after the resurrection they are not given in marriage." in the evangelists are these words, _certain of the sadducees, who say that there is no resurrection, asked jesus, saying, master, moses wrote, if a man die, having no children, his brother shall take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. now there were with us seven brethren and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and having no issue, left his wife unto his brother; likewise the second also, and the third unto the seventh; last of all the woman died also; therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? but jesus answering, said unto them, the sons of this generation marry, and are given in marriage; but those who shall be accounted worthy to attain to another generation, and the resurrection from the dead, shall neither marry nor be given in marriage, neither can they die any more; for they are like unto the angels, and are the sons of god, being sons of the resurrection. but that the dead rise again, even moses shewed at the bush, when he called the lord the god of abraham, and the god of isaac, and the god of jacob; for he is not the god of the dead, but of the living; for all live unto him_, luke xx. - , matt. xxii. - ; mark xii. - . by these words the lord taught two things; first, that a man (_homo_) rises again after death; and secondly, that in heaven they are not given in marriage. that a man rises again after death, he taught by these words, _god is not the god of the dead, but of the living_, and when he said that abraham, isaac, and jacob, are alive: he taught the same also in the parable concerning the rich man in hell, and lazarus in heaven, luke xvi. - . secondly, that in heaven they are not given in marriage, he taught by these words, "_those who shall be accounted worthy to attain to another generation, neither marry nor are given in marriage_." that none other than spiritual nuptials are here meant, is very evident from the words which immediately follow--"_neither can they die any more; because they are like unto the angels, and are the sons of god, being sons of the resurrection_." spiritual nuptials mean conjunction with the lord, which is effected on earth; and when it is effected on earth, it is also effected in the heavens; therefore in the heavens there is no repetition of nuptials, nor are they again given in marriage: this is also meant by these words, "_the sons of this generation marry and are given in marriage; but those who are accounted worthy to attain to another generation, neither marry nor are given in marriage_". the latter are also called by the lord "_sons of nuptials_" matt, ix. ; mark ii. ; and in this place, _angels, sons of god, and sons of the resurrection_. that to celebrate nuptials, signifies to be joined with the lord, and that to enter into nuptials is to be received into heaven by the lord, is manifest from the following passages: _the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man, a king, who made a marriage (nuptials) his son, and sent out servants and invited to the marriage_. matt. xxii. - . _the kingdom of heaven is like unto ten virgins, who went forth to meet the bridegroom: of whom five being prepared entered into the marriage (nuptials)_, matt. xxv. , and the following verses. that the lord here meant himself, is evident from verse , where it is said, _watch ye; because ye know not the day and hour in which the son of man will come_: also from the revelation, _the time of the marriage of the lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready; blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the lamb_, xix. , . that there is a spiritual meaning in everything which the lord spake, has been fully shewn in the doctrine of the new jerusalem concerning the sacred scripture, published at amsterdam in the year . * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations respecting the spiritual world. the first is as follows: one morning i was looking upwards into heaven and saw over me three expanses one above another; i saw that the first expanse, which was nearest, opened, and presently the second which was above it, and lastly the third which was highest; and by virtue of illustration thence, i perceived, that above the first expanse were the angels who compose the first or lowest heaven; above the second expanse were the angels who compose the second or middle heaven; and above the third expanse were the angels who compose the third or highest heaven. i wondered at first what all this meant: and presently i heard from heaven a voice as of a trumpet, saying, "we have perceived, and now see, that you are meditating on conjugial love; and we are aware that no one on earth as yet knows what true conjugial love is in its origin and in its essence; and yet it is of importance that it should be known: therefore it has pleased the lord to open the heavens to you in order that illustrating light and consequent perception may flow into the interiors of your mind. with us in the heavens, especially in the third heaven, our heavenly delights are principally derived from conjugial love; therefore, in consequence of leave granted us, we will send down to you a conjugial pair for your inspection and observation;" and lo! instantly there appeared a chariot descending from the highest or third heaven, in which i saw one angel; but as it approached i saw therein two. the chariot at a distance glittered before my eyes like a diamond, and to it were harnessed young horses white as snow; and those who sat in the chariot held in their hands two turtle-doves, and called to me, saying, "do you wish us to come nearer to you? but in this case take heed, lest the radiance, which is from the heaven whence we have descended, and is of a flaming quality, penetrate too interiorly; by its influence the superior ideas of your understanding, which are in themselves heavenly, may indeed be illustrated; but these ideas are ineffable in the world in which you dwell: therefore what you are about to hear, receive rationally, that you may explain it so that it may be understood." i replied, "i will observe your caution; come nearer:" so they came nearer; and lo! it was a husband and his wife; who said, "we are a conjugial pair: we have lived happy in heaven from the earliest period, which you call the golden age, and have continued during that time in the same bloom of youth in which you now see us." i viewed each of them attentively, because i perceived they represented conjugial love in its life and in its decoration; in its life in their faces, and in its decoration in their raiment; for all the angels are affections of love in a human form. the ruling affection itself shines forth from their faces; and from the affection, and according to it, the kind and quality of their raiment is derived and determined: therefore it is said in heaven, that every one is clothed by his own affection. the husband appeared of a middle age, between manhood and youth: from his eyes darted forth sparkling light derived from the wisdom of love; by virtue of which light his face was radiant from its inmost ground; and in consequence of such radiance the surface of his skin had a kind of refulgence, whereby his whole face was one resplendent comeliness. he was dressed in an upper robe which reached down to his feet and underneath it was a vesture of hyacinthine blue, girded about with a golden band, upon which were three precious stones, two sapphires on the sides, and a carbuncle in the middle; his stockings were of bright shining linen, with threads of silver interwoven, and his shoes were of velvet: such was the representative form of conjugial love with the husband. with the wife it was this; i saw her face, and i did not see it; i saw it as essential beauty, and i did not see it because this beauty was inexpressible; for in her face there was a splendor of flaming light, such as the angels in the third heaven enjoy, and this light made my sight dim; so that i was lost in astonishment: she observing this addressed me, saying, "what do you see?" i replied, "i see nothing but conjugial love and the form thereof; but i see, and i do not see." hereupon she turned herself sideways from her husband; and then i was enabled to view her more attentively. her eyes were bright and sparkling from the light of her own heaven, which light, as was said, is of a flaming quality, which it derives from the love of wisdom; for in that heaven wives love their husbands from their wisdom, and in it, and husbands love their wives from that love of wisdom and in it, as directed towards themselves; and thus they are united. this was the origin of her beauty; which was such that it would be impossible for any painter to imitate and exhibit it in its form, for he has no colors bright and vivid enough to express its lustre; nor is it in the power of his art to depict such beauty: her hair was arranged in becoming order so as to correspond with her beauty; and in it were inserted diadems of flowers; she had a necklace of carbuncles, from which hung a rosary of chrysolites; and she wore pearl bracelets: her upper robe was scarlet, and underneath it she had a purple stomacher, fastened in front with clasps of rubies; but what surprised me was, that the colors varied according to her aspect in regard to her husband, being sometimes more glittering, sometimes less; if she were looking towards him, more, if sideways, less. when i had made these observations, they again talked with me; and when the husband was speaking, he spoke at the same time as from his wife; and when the wife was speaking, she spoke at the same time as from her husband; such was the union of their minds from whence speech flows; and on this occasion i also heard the tone of voice of conjugial love; inwardly it was simultaneous, and it proceeded from the delights of a state of peace and innocence. at length they said, "we are recalled; we must depart;" and instantly they again appeared to be conveyed in a chariot as before. they went by a paved way through flowering shrubberies, from the beds of which arose olive and orange-trees laden with fruit: and when they approached their own heaven, they were met by several virgins, who welcomed and introduced them. . after this i saw an angel from that heaven holding in his hand a roll of parchment, which he unfolded, saying, "i see that you are meditating on conjugial love; in this parchment are contained arcana of wisdom respecting that love, which have never yet been disclosed in the world. they are now to be disclosed, because it is of importance that they should be: those arcana abound more in our heaven than in the rest, because we are in the marriage of love and wisdom; but i prophesy that none will appropriate to themselves that love, but those who are received by the lord into the new church, which is the new jerusalem." having said this, the angel let down the unfolded parchment, which a certain angelic spirit received from him, and laid on a table in a certain closet, which he instantly locked, and holding out the key to me, said, "write." . the second memorable relation. i once saw three spirits recently deceased, who were wandering about in the world of spirits, examining whatever came in their way, and inquiring concerning it. they were all amazement to find that men lived altogether as before, and that the objects they saw were similar to those they had seen before: for they knew that they were departed out of the former or natural world, and that in that world they believed that they should not live as men until after the day of the last judgement, when they should be again clothed with the flesh and bones that had been laid in the tomb; therefore, in order to remove all doubt of their being really and truly men, they by turns viewed and touched themselves and others, and felt the surrounding objects and by a thousand proofs convinced themselves that they now were men as in the former world; besides which they saw each other in a brighter light, and the surrounding objects in superior splendor, and thus their vision was more perfect. at that instant two angelic spirits happening to meet them, accosted them, saying, "whence are you?" they replied, "we have departed out of a world, and again we live in a world; thus we have removed from one world to another; and this surprises us." hereupon the three novitiate spirits questioned the two angelic spirits concerning heaven; and as two of the three novitiates were youths, and there darted from their eyes as it were a sparkling fire of lust for the sex, the angelic spirit said, "possibly you have seen some females;" and they replied in the affirmative; and as they made inquiry respecting heaven, the angelic spirits gave them the following information: "in heaven there is every variety of magnificent and splendid objects, and such things as the eye had never seen; there are also virgins and young men; virgins of such beauty that they may be called personifications of beauty, and young men of such morality that they may be called personifications of morality; moreover the beauty of the virgins and the morality of the young men correspond to each other, as forms mutually suited to each other." hereupon the two novitiates asked, "are there in heaven human forms altogether similar to those in the natural world?" and it was replied, "they are altogether similar; nothing is wanting in the male, and nothing in the female; in a word, the male is a male, and the female a female, in all the perfection of form in which they were created: retire, if you please, and examine if you are deficient in anything, and whether you are not a complete man as before." again, the novitiates said, "we have been told in the world we have left, that in heaven they are not given in marriage, because they are angels:--is there then the love of the sex there?" and the angelic spirits replied, "in heaven _your_ love of the sex does not exist; but we have the angelic love of the sex, which is chaste, and devoid all libidinous allurement." hereupon the novitiates observed, "if there be a love of the sex devoid of all allurement, what in such cases is the love of the sex?" and while they were thinking about this love they sighed, and said, "oh, how dry and insipid is the joy of heaven! what young man, if this be the case, can possibly wish for heaven? is not such love barren and devoid of life?" to this the angelic spirits replied, with a smile, "the angelic love of the sex, such as exists in heaven, is nevertheless full of the inmost delights: it is the most agreeable expansion of all the principles of the mind, and thence of all the parts of the breast, existing inwardly in the breast, and sporting therein as the heart sports with the lungs, giving birth thereby to respiration, tone of voice, and speech; so that the intercourse between the sexes, or between youths and virgins, is an intercourse of essential celestial sweets, which are pure. all novitiates, on ascending into heaven, are examined as to the quality of their chastity, being let into the company of virgins, the beauties of heaven, who from their tone of voice, their speech, their face, their eyes, their gesture, and their exhaling sphere, perceive what is their quality in regard to the love of the sex; and if their love be unchaste, they instantly quit them, and tell their fellow angels that they have seen satyrs or priapuses. the new comers also undergo a change, and in the eyes of the angels appear rough and hairy, and with feet like calves' or leopards', and presently they are cast down again, lest by their lust they should defile the heavenly atmosphere." on receiving this information, the two novitiates again said, "according to this, there is no love of the sex in heaven; for what is a chaste love of the sex, but a love deprived of the essence of its life? and must not all the intercourse of youths and virgins, in such case, consist of dry insipid joys? we are not stocks and stones, but perceptions and affections of life." to this the angelic spirits indignantly replied, "you are altogether ignorant what a chaste love of the sex is; because as yet you are not chaste. this love is the very essential delight of the mind, and thence of the heart; and not at the same time of the flesh beneath the heart. angelic chastity, which is common to each sex, prevents the passage of that love beyond the enclosure of the heart; but within that and above it, the morality of a youth is delighted with the beauty of a virgin in the delights of the chaste love of the sex: which delights are of too interior a nature, and too abundantly pleasant, to admit of any description in words. the angels have this love of the sex, because they have conjugial love only; which love cannot exist together with the unchaste love of the sex. love truly conjugial is chaste, and has nothing in common with unchaste love, being confined to one of the sex, and separate from all others; for it is a love of the spirit and thence of the body, and not a love of the body and thence of the spirit; that is, it is not a love infesting the spirit." on hearing this, the two young novitiates rejoiced, and said, "there still exists in heaven a love of the sex; what else is conjugial love?" but the angelic spirits replied, "think more profoundly, weigh the matter well in your minds, and you will perceive, that your love of the sex is a love extra-conjugial, and quite different from conjugial love; the latter being as distinct from the former, as wheat is from chaff, or rather as the human principle is from the bestial. if you should ask the females in heaven, 'what is love extra-conjugial?' i take upon me to say, their reply will be, 'what do you mean? what do you say? how can you utter a question which so wounds our ears? how can a love that is not created be implanted in any one?' if you should then ask them, 'what is love truly conjugial?' i know they will reply, 'it is not the love of the sex, but the love of one of the sex; and it has no other ground of existence than this, that when a youth sees a virgin provided by the lord, and a virgin sees a youth, they are each made sensible of a conjugial principle kindling in their hearts, and perceive that each is the other's, he hers, and she his; for love meets love and causes them to know each other, and instantly conjoins their souls, and afterwards their minds, and thence enters their bosoms, and after the nuptials penetrates further, and thus becomes love in its fulness, which grows every day into conjunction, till they are no longer two, but as it were one.' i know also that they will be ready to affirm in the most solemn manner, that they are not acquainted with any other love of the sex; for they say, 'how can there be a love of the sex, unless it be tending mutually to meet, and reciprocal, so as to seek an eternal union, which consists in two becoming one flesh?'" to this the angelic spirits added, "in heaven they are in total ignorance what whoredom is; nor do they know that it exists, or that its existence is even possible. the angels feel a chill all over the body at the idea of unchaste or extra-conjugial love; and on the other hand, they feel a genial warmth throughout the body arising from chaste or conjugial love. with the males, all the nerves lose their proper tension at the sight of a harlot, and recover it again at the sight of a wife." the three novitiates, on hearing this, asked, "does a similar love exist between married partners in the heavens as in the earths?" the two angelic spirits replied, that it was altogether similar; and as they perceived in the novitiates an inclination to know, whether in heaven there were similar ultimate delights, they said, that they were exactly similar, but much more blessed, because angelic perception and sensation is much more exquisite than human: "and what," added they, "is the life of that love unless derived from a flow of vigor? when this vigor fails, must not the love itself also fail and grow cold? is not this vigor the very measure, degree, and basis of that love? is it not its beginning, its support, and its fulfilment? it is a universal law, that things primary exist, subsist, and persist from things ultimate: this is true also of that love; therefore unless there were ultimate delights, there would be no delights of conjugial love." the novitiates then asked, whether from the ultimate delights of that love in heaven any offspring were produced; and if not, to what use did those delights serve? the angelic spirit answered, that natural offspring were not produced, but spiritual offspring: and the novitiates said, "what are spiritual offspring?" they replied, "two conjugial partners by ultimate delights are more and more united in the marriage of good and truth, which is the marriage of love and wisdom; and love and wisdom are the offspring produced therefrom: in heaven the husband is wisdom, and the wife is the love thereof, and both are spiritual; therefore, no other than spiritual offspring can be there conceived and born: hence it is that the angels, after such delights, do not experience sadness, as some do on earth, but are cheerful; and this in consequence of a continual influx of fresh powers succeeding the former, which serve for their renovation, and at the same time illustration: for all who come into heaven, return into their vernal youth, and into the vigor of that age, and thus continue to eternity." the three novitiates, on hearing this, said, "is it not written in the word, that in heaven they are not given in marriage, because they are angels?" to which the angelic spirits replied, "look up into heaven and you will receive an answer:" and they asked, "why are we to look up into heaven?" they said, "because thence we receive all interpretations of the word. the word is altogether spiritual and the angels being spiritual, will teach the spiritual understanding of it." they did not wait long before heaven was opened over their heads, and two angels appeared in view, and said, "there are nuptials in the heavens, as on earth; but only with those in the heavens who are in the marriage of good and truth; nor are any other angels: therefore it is spiritual nuptials, which relate to the marriage of good and truth, that are there understood. these (viz. spiritual nuptials) take place on earth, but not after departure thence, thus not in the heavens; as it is said of the live foolish virgins, who were also invited to the nuptials, that they could not enter, because they were not in the marriage of good and truth; for they had no oil, but only lamps. oil signifies good, and lamps truth; and to be given in marriage denotes to enter heaven, where the marriage of good and truth takes place." the three novitiates were made glad by this intelligence; and being filled with a desire of heaven, and with the hope of heavenly nuptials, they said, "we will apply ourselves with all diligence to the practice of morality and a becoming conduct of life, that we may enjoy our wishes." * * * * * on the state of married partners after death. . that there are marriages in the heavens, has been shewn just above; it remains now to be considered, whether the marriage-covenant ratified in the world will remain and be in force after death, or not. as this is a question not of judgement but of experience, and as experience herein has been granted me by consociation with angels and spirits, i will here adduce it; but yet so that reason may assent thereto. to have this question determined, is also an object of the wishes and desires of all married persons; for husbands who have loved their wives, in case they die, are desirous to know whether it be well with them, and whether they shall ever meet again; and the same is true of wives in regard to their husbands. many married pairs also wish to know beforehand whether they are to be separated after death, or to live together: those who have disagreed in their tempers, wish to know whether they are to be separated; and those who have agreed, whether they are to live together. information on this subject then being much wished for, we will now proceed to give it in the following order: i. _the love of the sex remains with every man (homo) after death, according to its interior quality; that is, such as it had been in his interior will and thought in the world._ ii. _the same is true of conjugial love._ iii. _married partners most commonly meet after death, know each other, again associate and for a time live together: this is the case in the first state, thus while they are in externals as in the world._ iv. _but successively, as they put off their externals, and enter into their internals, they perceive what had been the quality of their love and inclination for each other, and consequently whether they can live together or not._ v. _if they can live together, they remain married partners; but if they cannot they separate; sometimes the husband from the wife, sometimes the wife from the husband, and sometimes each from the other._ vi. _in this case there is given to the man a suitable wife, and to the woman a suitable husband._ vii. _married partners enjoy similar communications with each other as in the world, but more delightful and blessed, yet without prolification; in the place of which they experience spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom._ viii. _this is the case with those who go to heaven; but it is otherwise with those who go to hell._ we now proceed to an explanation of these propositions, by which they may be illustrated and confirmed. . i. the love of the sex remains with every man after death, according to its interior quality; that is, such as it had been in his interior will and thereby in the woman. every love follows a man after death, because it is the _esse_ of his life; and the ruling love, which is the head of the rest, remains with him to eternity, and together with it the subordinate loves. the reason why they remain, is, because love properly appertains to the spirit of man, and to the body by derivation from the spirit; and a man after death becomes a spirit and thereby carries his love along with him; as love is the _esse_ of a man's life, it is evident, that such as a man's life has been in the world, such is his lot after death. the love of the sex is the most universal of all loves, being implanted from creation in the very soul of man, from which the essence of the whole man is derived, and this for the sake of the propagation of the human race. the reason why this love chiefly remains is, because after death a male is a male, and a female a female, and because there is nothing in the soul, the mind, and the body, which is not male (or masculine) in the male, and female (or feminine) in the female; and these two (the male and female) are so created, that they have a continual tendency to conjunction, yea, to such a conjunction as to become a one. this tendency is the love of the sex, which precedes conjugial love. now, since a conjunctive inclination is inscribed on every part and principle of the male and of the female, it follows, that this inclination cannot be destroyed and die with the body. . the reason why the love of the sex remains such as it was interiorly in the world, is, because every man has an internal and an external, which are also called the internal and external man; and hence there is an internal and an external will and thought. a man when he dies, quits his external, and retains his internal; for externals properly belong to his body, and internals to his spirit. now since every man is his own love, and love resides in the spirit, it follows, that the love of the sex remains with him after death, such as it was interiorly with him; as for example, if the love interiorly had been conjugial and chaste, it remains such after death; but if it had been interiorly adulterous (anti-conjugial), it remains such also after death. it is however to be observed that the love of the sex is not the same with one person as with another; its differences are infinite: nevertheless, such as it is in any one's spirit, such it remains. . ii. conjugial love in like manner remains such as it had been interiorly; that is, such as it had been in the man's interior will and thought in the world. as the love of the sex is one thing, and conjugial love another, therefore mention is made of each; and it is said, that the latter also remains after death such as it has been internally with a man, during his abode in the world: but as few know the distinction between the love of the sex and conjugial love, therefore, before we proceed further in the subject of this treatise, it may be expedient briefly to point it out. the love of the sex is directed to several, and contracted with several of the sex; but conjugial love is directed to only one, and contracted with one of the sex; moreover, love directed to and contracted with several is a natural love; for it is common to man with beasts and birds, which are natural: but conjugial love is a spiritual love, and peculiar and proper to men; because men were created, and are therefore born to become spiritual; therefore, so far as a man becomes spiritual, so far he puts off the love of the sex, and puts on conjugial love. in the beginning of marriage the love of the sex appears as if conjoined with conjugial love; but in the progress of marriage they are separated; and in this case, with such as are spiritual, the love of the sex is removed, and conjugial love is imparted; but with such as are natural, the contrary happens. from these observations it is evident, that the love of the sex, being directed to and contracted with several and being in itself natural, yea, animal, is impure and unchaste, and being vague and indeterminate in its object, is adulterous; but the case is altogether different with conjugial love. that conjugial love is spiritual, and truly human, will manifestly appear from what follows. [transcriber's note: the out-of-order section numbers which follow are in the original text, as are the asterisks which do not seem to indicate footnotes. there are several cases of this in the text, apparently indicating insertions by the author.] .* iii. married partners most commonly meet after death, know each other, again associate, and for a time live together: this is the case in the first state, thus while they are in externals as in the world. there are two states in which a man (_homo_) enters after death, an external and an internal state. he comes first into his external state, and afterwards into his internal; and during the external state, married partners meet each other, (supposing they are both deceased,) know each other, and if they have lived together in the world, associate again, and for some time live together; and while they are in this state they do not know the inclination of each to the other, this being concealed in the internals of each; but afterwards, when they come into their internal state, the inclination manifests itself; and if it be in mutual agreement and sympathy, they continue to live together a conjugial life; but if it be in disagreement and antipathy, their marriage is dissolved. in case a man had had several wives, he successively joins himself with them, while he is in his external state; but when he enters into his internal state, in which lie perceives the inclinations of his love, and of what quality they are, he then either adopts one or leaves them all; for in the spiritual world, as well as in the natural, it is not allowable for any christian to have more than one wife, as it infests and profanes religion. the case is the same with a woman that had had several husbands: nevertheless the women in this case do not join themselves to their husbands; they only present themselves, and the husbands join them to themselves. it is to be observed that husbands rarely know their wives, but that wives well know their husbands, women having an interior perception of love, and men only an exterior. .* iv. but successively, as they put off their externals and enter into their internals, they perceive what had been the quality of their love and inclination for each other, and consequently whether they can live together or not. there is no occasion to explain this further, as it follows from what is shewn in the previous section; suffice it here to shew how a man (_homo_) after death puts off his externals and puts on his internals. every one after death is first introduced into the world which is called the world of spirits, and which is intermediate between heaven and hell; and in that world he is prepared, for heaven if he is good, and for hell if he is evil. the end or design of this preparation is, that the internal and external may agree together and make a one, and not disagree and make two: in the natural world they frequently make two, and only make a one with those who are sincere in heart. that they make two is evident from the deceitful and the cunning; especially from hypocrites, flatterers, dissemblers, and liars: but in the spiritual world it is not allowable thus to have a divided mind; for whoever has been internally wicked must also be externally wicked; in like manner, whoever has been good, must be good in each principle: for every man after death becomes of such a quality as he had been interiorly, and not such as he had been exteriorly. for this end, after his decease, he is let alternately into his external and his internal; and every one, while he is in his external, is wise, that is, he wishes to appear wise, even though he be wicked; but a wicked person internally is insane. by those changes he is enabled to see his follies, and to repent of them: but if he had not repented in the world, he cannot afterwards; for he loves his follies, and wishes to remain in them: therefore he forces his external also to be equally insane: thus his internal and his external become a one; and when this is effected, he is prepared for hell. but it is otherwise with a good spirit: such a one, as in the world he had looked unto god and had repented, was more wise in his internal than in his external: in his external also, through the allurements and vanities of the world, he was sometimes led astray; therefore his external is likewise reduced to agreement with his internal, which, as was said, is wise; and when this is effected he is prepared for heaven. from these considerations it may plainly appear, how the case is in regard to putting off the external and putting on the internal after death. . v. if they can live together, they remain married partners; but if they cannot, they separate; sometimes the husband from the wife, sometimes the wife from the husband, and sometimes each from the other. the reason why separations take place after death is, because the conjunctions which are made on earth are seldom made from any internal perception of love, but from an external perception, which hides the internal. the external perception of love originates in such things as regard the love of the world and of the body. wealth and large possessions are peculiarly the objects of worldly love, while dignities and honors are those of the love of the body: besides these objects, there are also various enticing allurements, such as beauty and an external polish of manners, and sometimes even an unchasteness of character. moreover, matrimonial engagements are frequently contracted within the particular district, city, or village, in which the parties were born, and where they live; in which case the choice is confined and limited to families that are known, and to such as are in similar circumstances in life: hence matrimonial connections made in the world are for the most part external, and not at the same time internal; when yet it is the internal conjunction, or the conjunction of souls, which constitutes a real marriage; and this conjunction is not perceivable until the man puts off the external and puts on the internal; as is the case after death. this then is the reason why separations take place, and afterwards new conjunctions are formed with such as are of a similar nature and disposition; unless these conjunctions have been provided on earth, as happens with those who from an early age have loved, have desired, and have asked of the lord an honorable and lovely connection with one of the sex, shunning and abominating the impulses of a loose and wandering lust. . vi. in this case there is given to the man a suitable wife, and to the woman a suitable husband. the reason of this is, because no married partners can be received into heaven, so as to remain there, but such as have been interiorly united, or as are capable of being so united; for in heaven two married partners are not called two, but one angel; this is understood by the lord's words "_they are no longer two, but one flesh_." the reason why no other married partners are there received is, because in heaven no others can live together in one house, and in one chamber and bed; for all in the heavens are associated according to the affinities and relationships of love, and have their habitations accordingly. in the spiritual world there are not spaces, but the appearance of spaces; and these appearances are according to the states of life of the inhabitants, which are according to their states of love; therefore in that world no one can dwell but in his own house, which is provided for him and assigned to him according to the quality of his love: if he dwells in any other, he is straitened and pained in his breast and breathing; and it is impossible for two to dwell together in the same house unless they are likenesses; neither can married partners so dwell together, unless they are mutual inclinations; if they are external inclinations, and not at the same time internal, the very house or place itself separates, and rejects and expels them. this is the reason why for those who after preparation are introduced into heaven, there is provided a marriage with a consort whose soul inclines to mutual union with the soul of another, so that they no longer wish to be two lives, but one. this is the reason why after separation there is given to the man a suitable wife and to the woman in like manner a suitable husband. . vii. married pairs enjoy similar communications with each other as in the world, but more delightful and blessed, yet without prolification; in the place of which they experience spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom. the reason why married pairs enjoy similar communications as in the world, is, because after death a male is a male, and a female a female, and there is implanted in each at creation an inclination to conjunction; and this inclination with man is the inclination of his spirit and thence of his body; therefore after death, when a man becomes a spirit, the same mutual inclination remains, and this cannot exist without similar communications; for after death a man is a man as before; neither is there any thing wanting either in the male or in the female: as to form they are like themselves, and also as to affections and thoughts; and what must be the necessary consequence, but that they must enjoy like communications? and as conjugial love is chaste, pure, and holy, therefore their communications are ample and complete; but on this subject see what was said in the memorable relation, n. . the reason why such communications are more delightful and blessed than in the world, is, because conjugial love, as it is the love of the spirit, becomes interior and purer, and thereby more perceivable; and every delight increases according to perception, and to such a degree that its blessedness is discernible in its delight. . the reason why marriages in the heavens are without prolification, and that in place thereof there is experienced spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom, is, because with the inhabitants of the spiritual world, the third principle--the natural, is wanting; and it is this which contains the spiritual principles; and these without that which contains them have no consistence, like the productions of the natural world: moreover spiritual principles, considered in themselves, have relation to love and wisdom; therefore love and wisdom are the births produced from marriages in the heavens. these are called births, because conjugial love perfects an angel, uniting him with his consort, in consequence whereof he becomes more and more a man (_homo_) for, as was said above, two married partners in heaven are not two but one angel; wherefore by conjugial unition they fill themselves with the human principle, which consists in desiring to grow wise, and in loving whatever relates to wisdom. . viii. this is the case with those who go to heaven; but it is otherwise with those who go to hell. that after death a suitable wife is given to a husband, and a suitable husband to a wife, and that they enjoy delightful and blessed communications, but without prolification, except of a spiritual kind, is to be understood of those who are received into heaven and become angels; because such are spiritual, and marriages in themselves are spiritual and thence holy: but with respect to those who go to hell, they are all natural; and marriages merely natural are not marriages, but conjunctions which originate in unchaste lust. the nature and quality of such conjunctions will be shewn in the following pages, when we come to treat of the chaste and the unchaste principles, and further when we come to treat of adulterous love. . to what has been above related concerning the state of married partners after death, it may be expedient to add the following circumstances. i. that all those married partners who are merely natural, are separated after death; because with them the love of marriage grows cold, and the love of adultery grows warm: nevertheless after separation, they sometimes associate as married partners with others; but after a short time they withdraw from each other: and this in many cases is done repeatedly; till at length the man is made over to some harlot, and the woman to some adulterer; which is effected in an infernal prison: concerning which prison, see the apocalypse revealed, n. , § x., where promiscuous whoredom is forbidden each party under certain pains and penalties. ii. married partners, of whom one is spiritual and the other natural, are also separated after death; and to the spiritual is given a suitable married partner: whereas the natural one is sent to the resorts of the lascivious among his like. iii. but those, who in the world have lived a single life, and have altogether alienated their minds from marriage, in case they be spiritual, remain single; but if natural, they become whoremongers. it is otherwise with those, who in their single state have desired marriage, and especially if they have solicited it without success; for such, if they are spiritual, blessed marriages are provided, but not until they come into heaven. iv. those who in the world have been shut up in monasteries, both men and women, at the conclusion of the monastic life, which continues some time after death, are let loose and discharged, and enjoy the free indulgence of their desires, whether they are disposed to live in a married state or not: if they are disposed to live in a married state, this is granted them; but if otherwise, they are conveyed to those who live in celibacy on the side of heaven; such, however, as have indulged the fires of prohibited lust, are cast down. v. the reason why those who live in celibacy are on the side of heaven, is, because the sphere of perpetual celibacy infests the sphere of conjugial love, which is the very essential sphere of heaven; and the reason why the sphere of conjugial love is the very essential sphere of heaven, is, because it descends from the heavenly marriage of the lord and the church. * * * * * . to the above, i shall add two memorable relations: the first is this. on a certain time i heard from heaven the sweetest melody, arising from a song that was sung by wives and virgins in heaven. the sweetness of their singing was like the affection of some kind of love flowing forth harmoniously. heavenly songs are in reality sonorous affections, or affections expressed and modified by sounds; for as the thoughts are expressed by speech, so the affections are expressed by songs; and from the measure and flow of the modulation, the angels perceive the object of the affection. on this occasion there were many spirits about me; and some of them informed me that they heard this delightful melody, and that it was the melody of some lovely affection, the object of which they did not know: they therefore made various conjectures about it, but in vain. some conjectured that the singing expressed the affection of a bridegroom and bride when they sign the marriage-articles; some that it expressed the affection of a bridegroom and a bride at the solemnizing of the nuptials; and some that it expressed the primitive love of a husband and a wife. but at that instant there appeared in the midst of them an angel from heaven, who said, that they were singing the chaste love of the sex. hereupon some of the bystanders asked, "what is the chaste love of the sex?" and the angel answered, "it is the love which a man bears towards a beautiful and elegant virgin or wife, free from every lascivious idea, and the same love experienced by a virgin or a wife towards a man." as he said this, he disappeared. the singing continued; and as the bystanders then knew the subject of the affection which it expressed, they heard it very variously, every one according to the state of his love. those who looked upon women chastely, heard it as a song of symphony and sweetness; those who looked upon them unchastely, heard it as a discordant and mournful song; and those who looked upon them disdainfully, heard it as a song that was harsh and grating. at that instant the place on which they stood was suddenly changed into a theatre, and a voice was heard, saying, "investigate this love:" and immediately spirits from various societies presented themselves, and in the midst of them some angels in white. the latter then said, "we in this spiritual world have inquired into every species of love, not only into the love which a man has for a man, and a woman for a woman; and into the reciprocal love of a husband and a wife; but also into the love which a man has for woman, and which a woman has for men; and we have been permitted to pass through societies and examine them, and we have never yet found the common love of the sex chaste, except with those who from true conjugial love are in continual potency, and these are in the highest heavens. we have also been permitted to perceive the influx of this love into the affections of our hearts, and have been made sensible that it surpasses in sweetness every other love, except the love of two conjugial partners whose hearts are as one: but we have besought you to investigate this love, because it is new and unknown to you; and since it is essential pleasantness, we in heaven call it heavenly sweetness." they then began the investigation; and those spoke first who were unable to think chastely of marriages. they said, "what man when he beholds a beautiful and lovely virgin or wife, can so correct or purify the ideas of his thought from concupiscence, as to love the beauty and yet have no inclination to taste it, if it be allowable? who can convert concupiscence, which is innate in every man, into such chastity, thus into somewhat not itself, and yet love? can the love of the sex, when it enters by the eyes into the thoughts, stop at the face of a woman? does it not descend instantly into the breast, and beyond it? the angels talk idly in saying that this love is chaste, and yet is the sweetest of all loves, and that it can only exist with husbands who are in true conjugial love, and thence in an extreme degree of potency with their wives. do such husbands possess any peculiar power more than other men, when they see a beautiful woman, of keeping the ideas of their thought in a state of elevation, and as it were of suspending them, so that they cannot descend and proceed to what constitutes that love?" the argument was next taken up by those who were in cold and in heat; in cold towards their wives, and in heat towards the sex; and they said, "what is the chaste love of the sex? is it not a contradiction in terms to talk of such a love? if chastity be predicated of the love of the sex, is not this destroying the very thing of which it is predicated? how can the chaste love of the sex be the sweetest of all loves, when chastity deprives it of its sweetness? you all know where the sweetness of that love resides; when therefore the idea connected therewith is banished from the mind, where and whence is the sweetness?" at that instant certain spirits interrupted them, and said, "we have been in company with the most beautiful females and have had no lust; therefore we know what the chaste love of the sex is." but their companions, who were acquainted with their lasciviousness, replied, "you were at those times in a state of loathing towards the sex, arising from impotence; and this is not the chaste love of the sex, but the ultimate of unchaste love." on hearing what had been said, the angels were indignant and requested those who stood on the right, or to the south, to deliver their sentiments. they said, "there is a love of one man to another, and also of one woman to another; and there is a love of a man to a woman, and of a woman to a man; and these three pairs of loves totally differ from each other. the love of one man to another is as the love of understanding and understanding; for the man was created and consequently born to become understanding; the love of one woman to another is as the love of affection and affection of the understanding of men; for the woman was created and born to become a love of the understanding of a man. these loves, viz., of one man to another, and of one woman to another, do not enter deeply into the bosom, but remain without, and only touch each other; thus they do not interiorly conjoin the two parties: wherefore also two men, by their mutual reasonings, sometimes engage in combat together like two wrestlers; and two women, by their mutual concupiscences, are at war with each other like two prize-fighters. but the love of a man and a woman is the love of the understanding and of its affection; and this love enters deeply and effects conjunction, which is that love; but the conjunction of minds, and not at the same time of bodies, or the endeavour towards that conjunction alone, is spiritual love, and consequently chaste love; and this love exists only with those who are in true conjugial love, and thence in an eminent degree of potency; because such, from their chastity, do not admit an influx of love from the body of any other woman than of their own wives; and as they are in an extreme degree of potency, they cannot do otherwise than love the sex, and at the same time hold in aversion whatever is unchaste. hence they are principled in a chaste love of the sex, which, considered in itself, is interior spiritual friendship, deriving its sweetness from an eminent degree of potency, but still being chaste. this eminent degree of potency they possess in consequence of a total renunciation of whoredom; and as each loves his own wife alone, the potency is chaste. now, since this love with such partakes not of the flesh, but only of the spirit, therefore it is chaste; and as the beauty of the woman, from innate inclination, enters at the same time into the mind, therefore the love is sweet." on hearing this, many of the bystanders put their hands to their ears, saying, "what has been said offends our ears; and what you have spoken is of no account with us." these spirits were unchaste. then again was heard the singing from heaven, and sweeter now than before; but to the unchaste it was so grating and discordant that they hurried out of the theatre and fled, leaving behind them only the few who from wisdom loved conjugial chastity. . the second memorable relation. as i was conversing with angels some time ago in the spiritual world, i was inspired with a desire, attended with a pleasing satisfaction, to see the temple of wisdom, which i had seen once before; and accordingly i asked them the way to it. they said, "follow the light and you will find it." i said, "what do you mean by following the light?" they replied, "our light grows brighter and brighter as we approach that temple; wherefore, follow the light according to the increase of its brightness; for our light proceeds from the lord as a sun, and thence considered in itself is wisdom." i immediately directed my course, in company with two angels, according to the increase of the brightness of the light, and ascending by a steep path to the summit of a hill in the southern quarter. there we found a magnificent gate, which the keeper, on seeing the angels with me, opened; and lo! we saw an avenue of palm-trees and laurels, according to which we directed our course. it was a winding avenue, and terminated in a garden, in the middle of which was the temple of wisdom. on arriving there, and looking about me, i saw several small sacred buildings, resembling the temple, inhabited by the wise. we went towards one of them, and coming to the door accosted the person who dwelt there, and told him the occasion and manner of our coming. he said, "you are welcome; enter and be seated, and we will improve our acquaintance by discourses respecting wisdom." i viewed the building within, and observed that it was divided into two, and still was but one; it was divided into two by a transparent wall; but it appeared as one from its translucence, which was like that of the purest crystal. i inquired the reason of this? he said, "i am not alone; my wife is with me, and we are two; yet still we are not two, but one flesh." but i replied, "i know that you are a wise one; and what has a wise one or a wisdom to do with a woman?" hereupon our host, becoming somewhat indignant, changed countenance, and beckoned his hand, and lo! instantly other wise ones presented themselves from the neighboring buildings, to whom he said humorously, "our stranger here asks, 'what has a wise one or a wisdom to do with a woman?'" at this they smiled and said, "what is a wise one or a wisdom without a woman, or without love, a wife being the love of a wise man's wisdom?" our host then said, "let us now endeavor to improve our acquaintance by some discourse respecting wisdom; and let it be concerning causes, and at present concerning the cause of beauty in the female sex." then they spoke in order; and the first assigned as a cause, that women were created by the lord's affections of the wisdom of men, and the affection of wisdom is essential beauty. a second said, that the woman was created by the lord through the wisdom of the man, because from the man; and that hence she is a form of wisdom inspired with love-affection; and since love-affection is essential life, a female is the life of wisdom, whereas a male is wisdom; and the life of wisdom is essential beauty. a third said, that women have a perception of the delights of conjugial love; and as their whole body is an organ of that perception, it must needs be that the habitation of the delights of conjugial love, with its perception, be beauty. a fourth assigned this cause; that the lord took away from the man beauty and elegance of life, and transferred it to the woman; and that hence the man, unless he be re-united with his beauty and elegance in the woman, is stern, austere, joyless, and unlovely; so one man is wise only for himself, and another is foolish; whereas, when a man is united with his beauty and elegance of life in a wife, he becomes engaging, pleasant, active, and lovely, and thereby wise. a fifth said, that women were created beauties, not for the sake of themselves, but for the sake of the men; that men, who of themselves are hard, might be made soft; that their minds, of themselves grave and severe, might become gentle and cheerful; and that their hearts, of themselves cold, might be made warm; which effects take place when they become one flesh with their wives. a sixth assigned as a cause, that the universe was created by the lord a most perfect work; but that nothing was created in it more perfect than a beautiful and elegant woman, in order that man may give thanks to the lord for his bounty herein, and may repay it by the reception of wisdom from him. these and many other similar observations having been made, the wife of our host appeared beyond the crystal wall, and said to her husband, "speak if you please;" and then when he spoke, the life of wisdom from the wife was perceived in his discourse; for in the tone of his speech was her love: thus experience testified to the truth. after this we took a view of the temple of wisdom, and also of the paradisiacal scenes which encompassed it, and being thereby filled with joy, we departed, and passed through the avenue to the gate, and descended by the way we had ascended. * * * * * on love truly conjugial. . there are infinite varieties of conjugial love, it being in no two persons exactly similar. it appears indeed as if it were similar with many; but this appearance arises from corporeal judgement, which, being gross and dull, is little qualified to discern aright respecting it. by corporeal judgement we mean the judgement of the mind from the evidence of the external senses; but to those whose eyes are opened to see from the judgment of the spirit, the differences are manifest; and more distinctly to those who are enabled to elevate the sight arising from such judgement to a higher degree, which is effected by withdrawing it from the senses, and exalting it into a superior light; these can at length confirm themselves in their understanding, and thereby see that conjugial love is never exactly similar in any two persons. nevertheless no one can see the infinite varieties of this love in any light of the understanding however elevated, unless he first know what is the nature and quality of that love in its very essence and integrity, thus what was its nature and quality when, together with life, it was implanted in man from god. unless this its state, which was most perfect, be known, it is in vain to attempt the discovery of its differences by any investigation; for there is no other fixed point, from which as a first principle those differences may be deduced, and to which as the focus of their direction they may be referred, and thus may appear truly and without fallacy. this is the reason why we here undertake to describe that love in its essence; and as it was in this essence when, together with life from god, it was infused into man, we undertake to describe it such as it was in its primeval state; and as in this state it was truly conjugial, therefore we have entitled this section, on love truly conjugial. the description of it shall be given in the following order: i. _there exists a love truly conjugial, which at this day is so rare that it is not known what is its quality, and scarcely that it exists._ ii. _this love originates in the marriage of good and truth._ iii. _there is a correspondence of this love with the marriage of the lord and the church._ iv. _this love from its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, above every other love imparted by the lord to the angels of heaven and the men of the church._ v. _it is also the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves._ vi. _into this love are collected all joys and delights from first to last._ vii. _none however come into this love, and can be in it, but those who approach the lord, and love the truths of the church and practise its goods._ viii. _this love was the love of loves with the ancients, who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages; but afterwards it successively departed._ we now proceed to the explanation of each article. . i. there exists a love truly conjugial, which at this day is so rare that is not known what is its quality, and scarcely that it exists. that there exists such conjugial love as is described in the following pages, may indeed be acknowledged from the first state of that love, when it insinuates itself, and enters into the hearts of a youth and a virgin; thus from its influence on those who begin to love one alone of the sex, and to desire to be joined therewith in marriage; and still more at the time of courtship and the interval which precedes the marriage-ceremony; and lastly during the marriage-ceremony and some days after it. at such times who does not acknowledge and consent to the following positions; that this love is the foundation of all loves, and also that into it are collected all joys and delights from first to last? and who does not know that, after this season of pleasure, the satisfactions thereof successively pass away and depart, till at length they are scarcely sensible? in the latter case, if it be said as before, that this love is the foundation of all loves, and that into it are collected all joys and delights, the positions are neither agreed to nor acknowledged, and possibly it is asserted that they are nonsense or incomprehensible mysteries. from these considerations it is evident, that primitive marriage love bears a resemblance to love truly conjugial, and presents it to view in a certain image. the reason of which is, because then the love of the sex, which is unchaste, is put away, and in its place the love of one of the sex, which is truly conjugial and chaste, remains implanted: in this case, who does not regard other women with indifference, and the one to whom he is united with love and affection? . the reason why love truly conjugial is notwithstanding so rare, that its quality is not known, and scarcely its existence, is, because the state of pleasurable gratifications before and at the time of marriage, is afterwards changed into a state of indifference arising from an insensibility to such gratifications. the causes of this change of state are too numerous to be here adduced; but they shall be adduced in a future part of this work, when we come to explain in their order the causes of coldnesses, separations, and divorces; from which it will be seen, that with the generality at this day this image of conjugial love is so far abolished, and with the image the knowledge thereof, that its quality and even its existence are scarcely known. it is well known, that every man by birth is merely corporeal, and that from corporeal he becomes natural more and more interiorly, and thus rational, and at length spiritual. the reason why this is effected progressively is, because the corporeal principle is like ground, wherein things natural, rational, and spiritual are implanted in their order; thus a man becomes more and more a man. the case is nearly similar when he enters into marriage; on this occasion a man becomes a more complete man, because he is joined with a consort, with whom he acts as one man: but this, in the first state spoken of above, is effected only in a sort of image: in like manner he then commences from what is corporeal, and proceeds to what is natural as to conjugial life, and thereby to a conjunction into a one. those who, in this case, love corporeal natural things, and rational things only as grounded therein, cannot be conjoined to a consort as into a one, except as to those externals: and when those externals fail, cold takes possession of the internals; in consequence whereof the delights of that love are dispersed and driven away, as from the mind so from the body, and afterwards as from the body so from the mind; and this until there is nothing left of the remembrance of the primeval state of their marriage, consequently no knowledge respecting it. now since this is the case with the generality of persons at this day, it is evident that love truly conjugial is not known as to its quality, and scarcely as to its existence. it is otherwise with those who are spiritual. with them the first state is an initiation into lasting satisfactions, which advance in degree, in proportion as the spiritual rational principle of the mind, and thence the natural sensual principle of the body, in each party, conjoin and unite themselves with the same principles in the other party; but such instances are rare. . ii. this love originates in the marriage of good and truth. that all things in the universe have relation to good and truth, is acknowledged by every intelligent man, because it is a universal truth; that likewise in every thing in the universe good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, cannot but be acknowledged, because this also is a universal truth, which agrees with the former. the reason why all things in the universe have relation to good and truth, and why good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, is, because each proceeds from the lord, and they proceed from him as a one. the two things which proceed from the lord, are love and wisdom, because these are himself, thus from himself; and all things relating to love are called good, or goods, and all things relating to wisdom are called true, or truths; and as these two proceed from him as the creator, it follows that they are in the things created. this may be illustrated by heat and light which proceed from the sun: from them all things appertaining to the earth are derived, which germinate according to their presence and conjunction; and natural heat corresponds to spiritual heat, which is love, as natural light corresponds to spiritual light, which is wisdom. . that conjugial love proceeds from the marriage of good and truth, will be shewn in the following section or paragraph: it is mentioned here only with a view of shewing that this love is celestial, spiritual, and holy, because it is from a celestial, spiritual, and holy origin. in order to see that the origin of conjugial love is from the marriage of good and truth, it may be expedient in this place briefly to premise somewhat on the subject. it was said just above, that in every created thing there exists a conjunction of good and truth; and there is no conjunction unless it be reciprocal; for conjunction on one part, and not on the other in its turn, is dissolved of itself. now as there is a conjunction of good and truth, and this is reciprocal, it follows that there is a truth of good, or truth grounded in good, and that there is a good of truth, or good grounded in truth; that the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is in the male, and that it is the very essential male (or masculine) principle, and that the good of truth, or good grounded in truth, is in the female, and that it is the very essential female (or feminine) principle; also that there is a conjugial union between those two, will be seen in the following section: it is here only mentioned in order to give some preliminary idea on the subject. . iii. there is a correspondence of this love with the marriage of the lord and the church; that is, that as the lord loves the church, and is desirous that the church should love him, so a husband and a wife mutually love each other. that there is a correspondence herein, is well known in the christian world: but the nature of that correspondence as yet is not known; therefore we will explain it presently in a particular paragraph. it is here mentioned in order to shew that conjugial love is celestial, spiritual, and holy, because it corresponds to the celestial, spiritual, and holy marriage of the lord and the church. this correspondence also follows as a consequence of conjugial love's originating in the marriage of good and truth, spoken of in the preceding article; because the marriage of good and truth constitutes the church with man: for the marriage of good and truth is the same as the marriage of charity and faith; since good relates to charity, and truth to faith. that this marriage constitutes the church must at once be acknowledged, because it is a universal truth; and every universal truth is acknowledged as soon as it is heard, in consequence of the lord's influx and at the same time of the confirmation of heaven. now since the church is the lord's, because it is from him, and since conjugial love corresponds to the marriage of the lord and the church, it follows that this love is from the lord. . but in what manner the church from the lord is formed with two married partners, and how conjugial love is formed thereby, shall be illustrated in the paragraph spoken of above: we will at present only observe, that the church from the lord is formed in the husband, and through the husband in the wife; and that when it is formed in each, it is a full church; for in this case is effected a full conjunction of good and truth; and the conjunction of good and truth constitutes the church. that the uniting inclination, which is conjugial love, is in a similar degree with the conjunction of good and truth, which is the church, will be proved by convincing arguments in what follows in the series. . iv. this love, from its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, above every other love imparted by the lord to the angels of heaven and the men of the church. that such is the nature and quality of conjugial love from its origin, which is the marriage of good and truth, was briefly shewn above; but the subject was then barely touched upon: in like manner that such is the nature and quality of that love, from its correspondence with the marriage of the lord and the church. these two marriages, from which conjugial love, as a slip or shoot, descends, are essentially holy, therefore if it be received from its author, the lord, holiness from him follows of consequence, which continually cleanses and purifies it: in this case, if there be in the man's will a desire and tendency to it, this love becomes daily and continually cleaner and purer. conjugial love is called celestial and spiritual because it is with the angels of heaven; celestial, as with the angels of the highest heaven, these being called celestial angels; and spiritual, as with the angels beneath that heaven, these being called spiritual angels. those angels are so called, because the celestial are loves, and thence wisdoms, and the spiritual are wisdoms and thence loves; similar thereto is their conjugial principle. now as conjugial love is with the angels of both the superior and the inferior heavens, as was also shewn in the first paragraph concerning marriages in heaven, it is manifest that it is holy and pure. the reason why this love in its essence, considered in regard to its origin, is holy and pure above every other love with angels and men, is, because it is as it were the head of the other loves: concerning its excellence something shall be said in the following article. . v. it is also the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves. the reason why conjugial love considered in its essence is the foundation love of all the loves of heaven and the church, is, because it originates in the marriage of good and truth, and from this marriage proceed all the loves which constitute heaven and the church with man: the good of this marriage constitutes love, and its truth constitutes wisdom; and when love draws near to wisdom, or joins itself therewith, then love becomes love; and when wisdom in its turn draws near to love, and joins itself therewith, then wisdom becomes wisdom. love truly conjugial is the conjunction of love and wisdom. two married partners, between or in whom this love subsists, are an image and form of it: all likewise in the heavens, where faces are the genuine types of the affections of every one's love, are likenesses of it; for, as was shewn above, it pervades them in the whole and in every part. now as two married partners are an image and form of this love, it follows that every love which proceeds from the form of essential love itself, is a resemblance thereof; therefore if conjugial love be celestial and spiritual, the loves proceeding from it are also celestial and spiritual. conjugial love therefore is as a parent, and all other loves are as the offspring. hence it is, that from the marriages of the angels in the heavens are produced spiritual offspring, which are those of love and wisdom, or of good and truth; concerning which production, see above, n. , . . the same is evident from man's having been created for this love, and from his formation afterwards by means of it. the male was created to become wisdom grounded in the love of growing wise, and the female was created to become the love of the male grounded in his wisdom, and consequently was formed according thereto; from which consideration it is manifest, that two married partners are the very forms and images of the marriage of love and wisdom, or of good and truth. it is well to be observed, that there is not any good or truth which is not in a substance as in its subject: there are no abstract goods and truths; for, having no abode or habitation, they no where exist, neither can they appear as airy unfixed principles; therefore in such case they are mere entities, concerning which reason seems to itself to think abstractedly; but still it cannot conceive of them except as annexed to subjects: for every human idea, however elevated, is substantial, that is, affixed to substances. it is moreover to be observed, that there is no substance without a form; an unformed substance not being any thing, because nothing can be predicated of it; and a subject without predicates is also an entity which has no existence in reason. these philosophical considerations are adduced in order to shew still more clearly, that two married partners who are principled in love truly conjugial, are actually forms of the marriage of good and truth, or of love and wisdom. . since natural loves flow from spiritual, and spiritual from celestial, therefore it is said that conjugial love is the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves. natural loves relate to the loves of self and of the world; spiritual loves to love towards the neighbour; and celestial loves to love to the lord; and such as are the relations of the loves, it is evident in what order they follow and are present with man. when they are in this order, then the natural loves live from the spiritual, and the spiritual from the celestial, and all in this order from the lord, in whom they originate. . vi. into this love are collected all joys and delights from first to last. all delights whatever, of which a man (_homo_) has any perception, are delights of his love; the love manifesting itself, yea, existing and living thereby. it is well known that the delights are exalted in proportion as the love is exalted, and also in proportion as the incident affections touch the ruling love more nearly. now as conjugial love is the foundation love of all good loves, and as it is inscribed on all the parts and principles of man, even the most particular, as was shewn above, it follows that its delights exceed the delights of all other loves, and also that it gives delight to the other loves, according to its presence and conjunction with them; for it expands the inmost principles of the mind, and at the same time the inmost principles of the body, as the delicious current of its fountain flows through and opens them. the reason why all delights from first to last are collected into this love, is on account of the superior excellence of its use, which is the propagation of the human race, and thence of the angelic heaven; and as this use was the chief end of creation, it follows that all the beatitudes, satisfactions, delights, pleasantnesses, and pleasures, which the lord the creator could possibly confer upon man, are collected into this his love. that delights follow use, and are also communicated to man according to the love thereof, is manifest from the delights of the five senses, seeing, hearing, smelling, taste, and touch: each of these has its delights with variations according to the specific uses of each; what then must be the delight annexed to the sense of conjugial love, the use of which comprehends all other uses? . i am aware that few will acknowledge that all joys and delights from first to last are collected into conjugial love; because love truly conjugial, into which they are collected, is at this day so rare that its quality is not known, and scarcely its existence, agreeably to what was explained and confirmed above, n. , ; for such joys and delights exist only in genuine conjugial love; and as this is so rare on earth, it is impossible to describe its super-eminent felicities any otherwise than from the mouth of angels, because they are principled in it. they have declared, that the inmost delights of this love, which are delights of the soul, into which the conjugial principle of love and wisdom, or of good and truth from the lord, first flows, are imperceptible and thence ineffable, because they are the delights of peace and innocence conjointly; but that in their descent they become more and more perceptible; in the superior principles of the mind as beatitudes, in the inferior as satisfactions, in the breast as delights thence derived; and that from the breast they diffuse themselves into every part of the body, and at length unite themselves in ultimates and become the delight of delights. moreover the angels have related wonderful things respecting these delights; adding further, that their varieties in the souls of conjugial pairs, and from their souls in their minds, and from their minds in their breasts, are infinite and also eternal; that they are exalted according to the prevalence of wisdom with the husband; and this, because they live to eternity in the bloom of their age, and because they know no greater blessedness than to grow wiser and wiser. but a fuller account of these delights, as given by the angels, may be seen in the memorable relations, especially in those added to some of the following chapters. . vii. none however come into this love, and can remain in it, but those who approach the lord, and love the truths of the church and practise its goods. the reason why none come into that love but those who approach the lord, is, because monogamical marriages, which are of one husband with one wife, correspond to the marriage of the lord and the church, and because such marriages originate in the marriage of good and truth; on which subject, see above, n. and . that from this origin and correspondence it follows, that love truly conjugial is from the lord, and exists only with those who come directly to him, cannot be fully confirmed unless these two arcana be specifically treated of, as shall be done in the chapters which immediately follow; one of which will treat on the origin of conjugial love as derived from the marriage of good and truth, and the other on the marriage of the lord and the church, and on its correspondence. that it hence follows, that, conjugial love with man (_homo_) is according to the state of the church with him, will also be seen in those chapters. . the reason why none can be principled in love truly conjugial but those who receive it from the lord, that is, who come directly to him, and by derivation from him live the life of the church, is, because this love, considered in its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, above every love implanted in the angels of heaven and the men of the church; as was shewn above, n. ; and these its distinguishing characters and qualities cannot possibly exist, except with those who are conjoined to the lord, and by him are consociated with the angels of heaven; for these shun extra-conjugial loves, which are conjunctions with others than their own conjugial partner, as they would shun the loss of the soul and the lakes of hell; and in proportion as married partners shun such conjunctions, even as to the libidinous desires of the will and the intentions thence derived, so far love truly conjugial is purified with them, and becomes successively spiritual, first during their abode on earth, and afterwards in heaven. it is not however possible that any love should become perfectly pure either with men or with angels; consequently neither can this love: nevertheless, since the intention of the will is what the lord principally regards, therefore so far as any one is in this intention, and perseveres in it, so far he is initiated into its purity and sanctity, and successively advances therein. the reason why none can be principled in spiritual conjugial love, but those who are of the above description by virtue of conjunction with the lord, is, because heaven is in this love; and the natural man, whose conjugial love derives its pleasure only from the flesh, cannot approach to heaven nor to any angel, no, nor to any man principled in this love, it being the foundation of all celestial and spiritual loves; which may be seen above, n. - . that this is the case, has been confirmed to me by experience. i have seen genii in the spiritual world, who were in a state of preparation for hell, approaching to an angel while he was being entertained by his consort; and at a distance, as they approached, they became like furies, and sought out caverns and ditches as asylums, into which they cast themselves. that wicked spirits love what is similar to their affection, however unclean it is, and hold in aversion the spirits of heaven, as what is dissimilar, because it is pure, may be concluded from what was said in the preliminary memorable relation, n. . . the reason why those who love the truths of the church and practise its goods, come into this love and are capable of remaining in it, is, because no others are received by the lord; for these are in conjunction with him, and thereby are capable of being kept in that love by influence from him. the two constituents of the church and heaven in man (_homo_) are the truth of faith and the good of life; the truth of faith constitutes the lord's presence, and the good of life according to the truths of faith constitutes conjunction with him, and thereby the church and heaven. the reason why the truth of faith constitutes the lord's presence, is, because it relates to light, spiritual light being nothing else; and the reason why the good of life constitutes conjunction, is, because it relates to heat; and spiritual heat is nothing but the good of life, for it is love; and the good of life originates in love; and it is well known, that all light, even that of winter, causes presence, and that heat united to light causes conjunction; for gardens and shrubberies appear in all degrees of light, but they do not bear flowers and fruits unless when heat joins itself to light. from these considerations the conclusion is obvious, that those are not gifted by the lord with love truly conjugial, who merely know the truths of the church, but those who know them and practise their good. . viii. this love was the love of loves with the ancients, who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages. that conjugial love was the love of loves with the most ancient and the ancient people, who lived in the ages thus named, cannot be known from historical records, because their writings are not extant; and there is no account given of them except by writers in succeeding ages, who mention them, and describe the purity and integrity of their lives, and also the successive decrease of such purity and integrity, resembling the debasement of gold to iron: but an account of the last or iron age, which commenced from the time of those writers, may in some measure be gathered from the historical records of the lives of some of their kings, judges, and wise men, who were called _sophi_ in greece and other countries. that this age however should not endure, as iron endures in itself, but that it should be like iron mixed with clay, which do not cohere, is foretold by daniel, chap. ii. . now as the golden, silver, and copper ages passed away before the time when writing came into use, and thus it is impossible on earth to acquire any knowledge concerning their marriages, it has pleased the lord to unfold to me such knowledge by a spiritual way, by conducting me to the heavens inhabited by those most ancient people, that i might learn from their own mouths the nature and quality of their marriages during their abode here on earth in their several ages: for all, who from the beginning of creation have departed by death out of the natural world, are in the spiritual world, and as to their loves resemble what they were when alive in the natural world, and continue such to eternity. as the particulars of this knowledge are worthy to be known and related, and tend to confirm the sanctity of marriages, i am desirous to make them public as they were shown me in the spirit when awake, and were afterwards recalled to my remembrance by an angel, and thus described. and as they are from the spiritual world, like the other accounts annexed to each chapter, i am desirous to arrange them so as to form six memorable relations according to the progressions of the several periods of time. * * * * * . these six memorable relations from the spiritual world, concerning conjugial love, discover the nature and quality of that love in the earliest times and afterwards, and also at the present day; whence it appears that that love has successively fallen away from its sanctity and purity, until it became adulterous; but that nevertheless there is a hope of its being brought back again to its primeval or ancient sanctity. . the first memorable relation. on a time, while i was meditating on conjugial love, my mind was seized with a desire of knowing what had been the nature and quality of that love among those who lived in the golden age, and afterwards among those who lived in the following ages, which have their names from silver, copper, and iron: and as i knew that all who lived well in those ages are in the heavens, i prayed to the lord that i might be allowed to converse with them and be informed: and lo! an angel presented himself and said, "i am sent by the lord to be your guide and companion: i will first lead and attend you to those who lived in the first age or period of time, which is called golden:" and he said, "the way to them is difficult; it lies through a shady forest, which none can pass unless he receive a guide from the lord." i was in the spirit, and prepared myself for the journey; and we turned our faces towards the east; and as we advanced i saw a mountain, whose height extended beyond the region of the clouds. we passed a great wilderness, and came to the forest planted with various kinds of trees and rendered shady by their thickness, of which the angel had advertised me. the forest was divided by several narrow paths; and the angel said, that according to the number of those paths are the windings and intricacies of error: and that unless his eyes were opened by the lord, so as to see olives entwined with vine tendrils, and his steps were directed from olive to olive, the traveller would miss his way, and fall into the abodes of tartarus, which are round about at the sides. this forest is of such a nature, to the end that the passage may be guarded; for none but a primeval nation dwells upon that mountain. after we had entered the forest, our eyes were opened, and we saw here and there olives entwined with vines, from which hung bunches of grapes of a blue or azure color, and the olives were ranged in continual wreaths; we therefore made various circuits as they presented themselves to our view; and at length we saw a grove of tall cedars and some eagles perched on their branches; on seeing which the angel said, "we are now on the mountain not far from its summit:" so we went forward, and lo! behind the grove was a circular plain, where there were feeding he and she-lambs, which were representative forms of the state of innocence and peace of the inhabitants of the mountain. we passed over this plain, and lo! we saw tabernacles, to the number of several thousands in front on each side in every direction as far as the eye could reach. and the angel said, "we are now in the camp, where are the armies of the lord jehovah; for so they call themselves and their habitations. these most ancient people, while they were in the world, dwelt in tabernacles; therefore now also they dwell in the same. but let us bend our way to the south, where the wiser of them live, that we may meet some one to converse with." in going along i saw at a distance three boys and three girls sitting at a door of a certain tent; but as we approached, the boys and girls appeared like men and women of a middle stature. the angel then said, "all the inhabitants of this mountain appear at a distance like infants, because they are in a state of innocence; and infancy is the appearance of innocence." the men on seeing us hastened towards us and said, "whence are you; and how came you here? your faces are not like those of our mountain." but the angel in reply told them how, by permission, we had had access through the forest, and what was the cause of our coming. on hearing this, one of the three men invited and introduced us into his tabernacle. the man was dressed in a blue robe and a tunic of white wool: and his wife had on a purple gown, with a stomacher under it of fine linen wrought in needle-work. and as my thought was influenced by a desire of knowing the state of marriages among the most ancient people, i looked by turns on the husband and the wife, and observed as it were a unity of their souls in their faces; and i said, "you are one:" and the man answered, "we are one; her life is in me, and mine in her; we are two bodies, but one soul: the union between us is like that of the two viscera in the breast, which are called the heart and the lungs; she is my heart and i am her lungs; but as by the heart we here mean love, and by the lungs wisdom, she is the love of my wisdom, and i am the wisdom of her love; therefore her love from without veils my wisdom, and my wisdom from within enters into her love: hence, as you said, there is an appearance of the unity of our souls in our faces." i then asked, "if such a union exists, is it possible for you to look at any other woman than your own?" he replied, "it is possible but as my wife is united to my soul, we both look together, and in this case nothing of lust can enter; for while i behold the wives of others, i behold them by my own wife, whom alone i love: and as my own wife has a perception of all my inclinations, she, as an intermediate, directs my thoughts and removes every thing discordant, and therewith impresses cold and horror at every thing unchaste; therefore it is as impossible for us to look unchastely at the wife of any other of our society, as it is to look from the shades of tartarus to the light of our heaven therefore neither have we any idea of thought, and still less any expression of speech, to denote the allurements of libidinous love." he could not pronounce the word whoredom, because the chastity of their heaven forbade it. hereupon my conducting angel said to me, "you hear now that the speech of the angels of this heaven is the speech of wisdom, because they speak from causes." after this, as i looked around, i saw their tabernacle as it were overlaid with gold; and i asked, "whence is this?" he replied, "it is in consequence of a flaming light, which, like gold, glitters, irradiates, and glances on the curtains of our tabernacle while we are conversing about conjugial love; for the heat from our sun, which in its essence is love, on such occasions bares itself, and tinges the light, which in its essence is wisdom, with its golden color; and this happens because conjugial love in its origin is the sport of wisdom and love; for the man was born to be wisdom, and the woman to be the love of the man's wisdom: hence spring the delights of that sport, in and derived from conjugial love between us and our wives. we have seen clearly for thousands of years in our heaven, that those delights, as to quantity, degree, and intensity, are excellent and eminent according to our worship of the lord jehovah, from whom flows that heavenly union or marriage, which is the union and marriage of love and wisdom." as he said this, i saw a great light upon the hill in the middle of the tabernacles; and i inquired, "whence is that light?" and he said, "it is from the sanctuary of the tabernacle of our worship." i asked whether i might approach it; to which he assented. i approached therefore, and saw the tabernacle without and within, answering exactly to the description of the tabernacle which was built for the sons of israel in the wilderness; the form of which was shewed to moses on mount sinai, exod. xxv. ; chap. xxvi. . i then asked, "what is within in that sanctuary, from which so great a light proceeds?" he replied, "it is a tablet with this inscription, the covenant between jehovah and the heavens:" he said no more. and as by this time we were ready to depart, i asked, "did any of you, during your abode in the natural world, live with more than one wife?" he replied, "i know not one; for we could not think of more. we have been told by those who had thought of more, that instantly the heavenly blessedness of their souls withdrew from their inmost principles to the extreme parts of their bodies, even to the nails, and together therewith the honorable badges of manhood; when this was perceived they were banished the land." on saying this, the man ran to his tabernacle, and returned with a pomegranate, in which there was abundance of seeds of gold: and he gave it me, and i brought it away with me, as a sign that we had been with those who had lived in the golden age. and then, after a salutation of peace, we took our leave, and returned home. . the second memorable relation. the next day the same angel came to me, and said, "do you wish me to lead and attend you to the people who lived in the silver age or period, that we may hear from them concerning the marriages of their time?" and he added, "access to these also can only be obtained by the lord's favor and protection." i was in the spirit as before, and accompanied my conductor. we first came to a hill on the confines between the east and the south; and while we were ascending it, he shewed me a great extent of country: we saw at a distance an eminence like a mountain, between which and the hill on which we stood was a valley, and behind the valley a plain, and from the plain a rising ground of easy ascent. we descended the hill intending to pass through the valley, and we saw here and there on each side pieces of wood and stone, carved into the figures of men, and of various beasts, birds, and fishes; and i asked the angel what they meant, and whether they were idols? he replied, "by no means: they are representative forms of various moral virtues and spiritual truths. the people of that age were acquainted with the science of correspondences; and as every man, beast, bird, and fish, corresponds to some quality, therefore each particular carved figure represents partially some virtue or truth, and several together represent virtue itself, or truth, in a common extended form. these are what in egypt were called hieroglyphics." we proceeded through the valley, and as we entered the plain, lo! we saw horses and chariots; horses variously harnessed and caparisoned, and chariots of different forms; some carved in the shape of eagles, some like whales, and some like stags with horns, and like unicorns; and likewise beyond them some carts, and stables round about at the sides; and as we approached, both horses and chariots disappeared, and instead thereof we saw men (_homines_), in pairs, walking, talking, and reasoning. and the angel said to me, "the different species of horses, chariots, and stables, seen at a distance, are appearances of the rational intelligence of the men of that period; for a horse, by correspondence, signifies the understanding of truth, a chariot, its doctrine, and stables, instructions: you know that in this world all things appear according to correspondences." but we passed by these things, and ascended by a long acclivity, and at length saw a city, which we entered; and in walking through the streets and places of public resort, we viewed the houses: they were so many palaces built of marble, having steps of alabaster in front, and at the sides of the steps pillars of jasper: we saw also temples of precious stone of a sapphire and lazure color. and the angel said to me, "their houses are of stone, because stones signify natural truths, and precious stones spiritual truths; and all those who lived in the silver age had intelligence grounded in spiritual truths, and thence in natural truths: silver also has a similar signification." in taking a view of the city, we saw here and there consorts in pairs: and as they were husbands and wives, we expected that some of them would invite us to their houses; and while we were in this expectation, as we were passing by, we were invited by two into their house, and we ascended the steps and entered; and the angel, taking upon him the part of speaker, explained to them the occasion of our coming to this heaven; informing them that it was for the sake of instruction concerning marriages among the ancients, "of whom," says he, "you in this heaven are a part." they said, "we were from a people in asia; and the chief pursuit of our age was the truths whereby we had intelligence. this was the occupation of our souls and minds; but our bodily senses were engaged in representations of truths in form; and the science of correspondences conjoined the sensual things of our bodies with the perceptions of our minds, and procured us intelligence." on hearing this, the angel asked them to give some account of their marriages: and the husband said, "there is a correspondence between spiritual marriage, which is that of truth with good, and natural marriage, which is that of a man with one wife; and as we have studied correspondences, we have seen that the church, with its truths and goods, cannot at all exist but with those who live in love truly conjugial with one wife: for the marriage of good and truth constitutes the church with man: therefore all we in this heaven say, that the husband is truth, and the wife the good thereof; and that good cannot love any truth but its own, neither can truth in return love any good but its own: if any other were loved, internal marriage, which constitutes the church, would perish, and there would remain only external marriage, to which idolatry, and not the church, corresponds; therefore marriage with one wife we call sacrimony; but if it should have place with more than one among us, we should call it sacrilege." as he said this, we were introduced into an ante-chamber, where there were several devices on the walls, and little images as it were of molten silver; and i inquired, "what are these?" they said, "they are pictures and forms representative of several qualities, characters, and delights, relating to conjugial love. these represent unity of souls, these conjunction of minds, these harmony of bosoms, these the delights thence arising." while we were viewing these things, we saw as it were a rainbow on the wall, consisting of three colors, purple (or red), blue and white; and we observed how the purple passed the blue, and tinged the white with an azure color, and that the latter color flowed back through the blue into the purple, and elevated the purple into a kind of flaming lustre: and the husband said to me, "do you understand all this?" i replied, "instruct me:" and he said, "the purple color, from its correspondence, signifies the conjugial love of the wife, the white the intelligence of the husband, the blue the beginning of conjugial love in the husband's perception from the wife, and the azure, with which the white was tinged, signifies conjugial love in this case in the husband; and this latter color flowing back through the blue into the purple, and elevating the purple into a kind of flaming lustre, signifies the conjugial love of the husband flowing back to the wife. such things are represented on these walls, while from meditating on conjugial love, its mutual, successive, and simultaneous union, we view with eager attention the rainbows which are there painted." hereupon i observed, "these things are more than mystical at this day; for they are appearances representative of the arcana of the conjugial love of one man with one wife." he replied, "they are so; yet to us in our heaven they are not arcana, and consequently neither are they mystical." as he said this, there appeared at a distance a chariot drawn by small white horses; on seeing which the angel said, "that chariot is a sign for us to take our leave;" and then, as we were descending the steps, our host gave us a bunch of white grapes hanging to the vine leaves: and lo! the leaves became silver; and we brought them down with us for a sign that we had conversed with the people of the silver age. . the third memorable relation. the next day, my conducting and attendant angel came to me and said, "make ready, and let us go to the heavenly inhabitants in the west, who are from the men that lived in the third period, or in the copper age. their dwellings are from the south by the west towards the north; but they do not reach into the north." having made myself ready, i attended him, and we entered their heaven on the southern quarter. there was a magnificent grove of palm trees and laurels. we passed through this, and immediately on the confines of the west we saw giants, double the size of ordinary men. they asked us, "who let you in through the grove?" the angel said, "the god of heaven." they replied, "we are guards to the ancient western heaven; but pass on." we passed on, and from a rising ground we saw a mountain rising to the clouds, and between us and the mountain a number of villages, with gardens, groves, and plains intermixed. we passed through the villages and came to the mountain, which we ascended; and lo! its summit was not a point but a plain, on which was a spacious and extensive city. all the houses of the city were built of the wood of the pine-tree, and their roofs consisted of joists or rafters; and i asked, "why are the houses here built of wood?" the angel replied, "because wood signifies natural good; and the men of the third age of the earth were principled in this good; and as copper also signifies natural good, therefore the age in which they lived the ancients named from copper. here are also sacred buildings constructed of the wood of the olive, and in the middle of them is the sanctuary, where is deposited in an ark the word that was given to the inhabitants of asia before the israelitish word; the historical books of which are called the wars of jehovah, and the prophetic books, enunciations; both mentioned by moses, numb. xxi. verses , , and - . this word at this day is lost in the kingdoms of asia, and is only preserved in great tartary." then the angel led me to one of the sacred buildings, which we looked into, and saw in the middle of it the sanctuary, the whole in the brightest light; and the angel said, "this light is from that ancient asiatic word: for all divine truth in the heavens gives forth light." as we were leaving the sacred building, we were informed that it had been reported in the city that two strangers had arrived there; and that they were to be examined as to whence they came, and what was their business; and immediately one of the public officers came running towards us, and took us for examination before the judges: and on being asked whence we came, and what was our business, we replied, "we have passed the grove of palm-trees, and also the abodes of the giants, the guards of your heaven, and afterwards the region of villages; from which circumstances you may conclude, that we have not come here of ourselves, but by direction of the god of heaven. the business on which we are come is, to be instructed concerning your marriages, whether they are monogamical or polygamical." and they said, "what are polygamical marriages? are not they adulterous?" and immediately the bench of judges deputed an intelligent person to instruct us in his own house on this point: and when we were come to his house, he set his wife by his side, and spoke as follows: "we are in possession of precepts concerning marriages, which have been handed down to us from the primeval or most ancient people, who were principled in love truly conjugial, and thereby excelled all others in the virtue and potency of that love while they were in the world, and who are now in a most blessed state in their heaven, which is in the east. we are their posterity, and they, as fathers, have given us, their sons, rules of life, among which is the following concerning marriages: 'sons, if you are desirous to love god and your neighbour, and to become wise and happy to eternity, we counsel you to live married to one wife; if you depart from this precept, all heavenly love will depart from you, and therewith internal wisdom; and you will be banished.' this precept of our fathers we have obeyed as sons, and have perceived its truth, which is, that so far as any one loves his conjugial partner alone, so far he becomes celestial and internal, and that so far as any one does not love his married partner alone, so far he becomes natural and external; and in this case he loves only himself and the images of his own mind, and is doating and foolish. from these considerations, all of us in this heaven live married to one wife; and this being the case, all the borders of our heaven are guarded against polygamists, adulterers, and whoremongers; if polygamists invade us, they are cast out into the darkness of the north; if adulterers, they are cast out into fires of the west; and if whoremongers, they are cast out into the delusive lights of the south." on hearing this, i asked, "what he meant by the darkness of the north, the fires of the west, and the delusive lights of the south?" he answered, "the darkness of the north is dulness of mind and ignorance of truths; the fires of the west are the loves of evil; and the delusive lights of the south are the falsifications of truth, which are spiritual whoredoms." after this, he said, "follow me to our repository of curiosities:" so we followed him, and he shewed us the writings of the most ancient people, which were on the tables of wood and stone, and afterwards on smooth blocks of wood; the writings of the second age were on sheets of parchment; of these he brought me a sheet, on which were copied the rules of the people of the first age from their tables of stone, among which also was the precept concerning marriages. having seen these and other ancient curiosities, the angel said, "it is now time for us to take our leave;" and immediately our host went into the garden, and plucked some twigs off a tree, and bound them into a little bunch, and gave them to us, saying, "these twigs are from a tree, which is native of or peculiar to our heaven, and whose juice has a balsamic fragrance." we brought the bunch down with us, and descended by the eastern way, which was not guarded; and lo! the twigs were changed into shining brass, and the upper ends of them into gold, as a sign that we had been with the people of the third age, which is named from copper or brass. . the fourth memorable relations. after two days the angel again addressed me, saying, "let us complete the period of the ages; the last still remains, which is named from iron. the people of this age dwell in the north on the side of the west, in the inner parts or breadth-ways: they are all from the old inhabitants of asia, who were in possession of the ancient word, and thence derived their worship; consequently they were before the time of our lord's coming into the world. this is evident from the writings of the ancients, in which those times are so named. these same periods are meant by the statue seen by nebuchadnezzar, whose head was of gold, the breast and arms of silver, the belly and thighs of brass, the legs of iron, and the feet of iron and of clay, dan. ii. , ." these particulars the angel related to me in the way, which was contracted and anticipated by changes of state induced in our minds according to the genius or disposition of the inhabitants whom we passed; for spaces and consequent distances in the spiritual world are appearances according to the state of their minds. when we raised our eyes, lo! we were in a forest consisting of beeches, chestnut-trees and oaks: and on looking around us, there appeared bears to the left, and leopards to the right: and when i wondered at this, the angel said, "they are neither bears nor leopards, but men, who guard these inhabitants of the north; by their nostrils they have a scent of the sphere of life of those who pass by, and they rush violently on all who are spiritual, because the inhabitants are natural. those who only read the word, and imbibe thence nothing of doctrine, appear at a distance like bears; and those who confirm false principles thence derived, appear like leopards." on seeing us, they turned away, and we proceeded. beyond the forest there appeared thickets, and afterwards fields of grass divided into areas, bordered with box: this was succeeded by a declivity which led to a valley, wherein were several cities. we passed some of them, and entered into one of a considerable size: its streets were irregular, and so were the houses, which were built of brick, with beams between, and plastered. in the places of public resort were consecrated buildings of hewn lime-stone; the under-structure of which was below the ground, and the super-structure above. we went down into one of them by three steps, and saw on the walls idols of various forms, and a crowd on their knees paying adoration to them: in the middle of the building was a company, above whom might be seen the head of the tutelary god of that city. as we went out, the angel said to me, "those idols, with the ancients who lived in the silver age, as above described, were images representative of spiritual truths and moral virtues; and when the science of correspondence was forgotten and extinct, they first became objects of worship, and afterwards were adored as deities: hence came idolatry." when we were come out of the consecrated building, we made our observations on the men and their dress. their faces were like steel, of a grayish color, and they were dressed like comedians, with napkins about their loins hanging from a tunic buttoned close at the breast; and on their heads they wore curled caps like sailors. but the angel said, "enough of this; let us seek some instruction concerning the marriages of the people of this age." we then entered into the house of one of the grandees, who wore on his head a high cap. he received us kindly, and said, "come in and let us converse together." we entered into the vestibule, and there seated ourselves; and i asked him about the marriages of his city and country. he said, "we do not here live with one wife, but some with two or three, and some with more, because we are delighted with variety, obedience, and honor, as marks of dignity; and these we receive from our wives according to their number. with one wife there would be no delight arising from variety; but disgust from sameness: neither would there be any flattering courteousness arising from obedience, but a troublesome disquietude from equality; neither would there be any satisfaction arising from dominion and the honor thence derived, but vexation from wrangling about superiority. and what is a woman? is she not born subject to man's will; to serve, and not to domineer? wherefore in this place every husband in his own house enjoys as it were royal dignity; and as this is suited to our love, it constitutes also the blessedness of our life." but i asked, "in such case, what becomes of conjugial love, which from two souls makes one, and joins minds together, and renders a man (_homo_) blessed? this love cannot be divided; for if it be it becomes a heat which effervesces and passes away." to this he replied, "i do not understand what you say; what else renders a man (_homo_) blessed, but the emulation of wives contending for the honor of the first place in the husband's favor?" as he said this, a man entered into the women's apartment and opened the two doors; whence there issued a libidinous effluvium, which had a stench like mire; this arose from polygamical love, which is connubial, and at the same time adulterous; so i rose and shut the doors. afterwards i said, "how can you subsist upon this earth, when you are void of any love truly conjugial, and also when you worship idols?" he replied, "as to connubial love, we are so jealous of our wives, that we do not suffer any one to enter further within our houses than the vestibule; and where there is jealousy, there must also be love. in respect to idols, we do not worship them; but we are not able to think of the god of the universe, except by means of such forms presented to our eyes; for we cannot elevate our thoughts above the sensual things of the body, nor think of god above the objects of bodily vision." i then asked him again, "are not your idols of different forms? how then can they excite the idea of one god?" he replied, "this is a mystery to us; somewhat of the worship of god lies concealed in each form." i then said, "you are merely sensual corporeal spirits; you have neither the love of god nor the love of a married partner grounded in any spiritual principle; and these loves together form a man (_homo_) and from sensual make him celestial." as i said this, there appeared through the gate as it were lightning: and on my asking what it meant, he said, "such lightning is a sign to us that there will come the ancient one from the east, who teaches us concerning god, that he is one, the alone omnipotent, who is the first and the last; he also admonishes us not to worship idols, but only to look at them as images representative of the virtues proceeding from the one god, which also together form his worship. this ancient one is our angel, whom we revere and obey. he comes to us, and raises us, when we are falling into obscure worship of god from mere fancies respecting images." on hearing this, we left the house and went out of the city; and in the way, from what we had seen in the heavens, we drew some conclusions respecting the circuit and the progression of conjugial love; of the circuit that it had passed from the east to the south, from the south to the west, and from the west to the north; and of the progression, that it had decreased according to its circulation, namely, that in the east it was celestial, in the south spiritual, in the west natural, and in the north sensual; and also that it had decreased in a similar degree with the love and the worship of god: from which considerations we further concluded, that this love in the first age was like gold, in the second like silver, in the third like brass, and in the fourth like iron, and that at length it ceased. on this occasion the angel, my guide and companion, said, "nevertheless i entertain a hope that this love will be revived by the god of heaven, who is the lord, because it is capable of being so revived." . the fifth memorable relation, the angel that had been my guide and companion to the ancients who had lived in the four ages, the golden, the silver, the copper, and the iron, again presented himself to me, and said, "are you desirous of seeing the age which succeeded those ancient ones, and to know what its quality formerly was, and still is? follow me, and you shall see. they are those concerning whom daniel thus prophesied: '_a kingdom shall arise after those four in which iron shall be mixed with miry clay: they shall mingle themselves together by the seed of man: but they shall not cohere one with the other, as iron is not mixed with clay_, dan. ii. - :'" and he said, "by the seed of man, whereby iron shall be mixed with clay, and still they shall not cohere, is meant the truth of the word falsified." after he had said this, i followed him, and in the way, he related to me these particulars. "they dwell in the borders between the south and the west, but at a great distance beyond those who lived in the four former ages, and also at a greater depth." we then proceeded through the south to the region bordering on the west, and passed though a formidable forest; for in it there were lakes, out of which crocodiles raised their heads, and opened at us their wide jaws beset with teeth; and between the lakes were terrible dogs, some of which were three-headed like cerberus, some two-headed, all looking at us as we passed with a horrible hungry snarl and fierce eyes. we entered the western tract of this region, and saw dragons and leopards, such as are described in the revelation, chap. xii. ; chap. xiii. . then the angel said to me, "all these wild beasts which you have seen, are not wild beasts but correspondences, and thereby representative forms of the lusts of the inhabitants whom we shall visit. the lusts themselves are represented by those horrible dogs; their deceit and cunning by crocodiles; their falsities and depraved inclinations to the things which relate to worship, by dragons and leopards: nevertheless the inhabitants represented do not live close behind the forest, but behind a great wilderness which lies intermediate, that they may be fully withheld and separated from the inhabitants of the foregoing ages, being of an entirely different genius and quality from them: they have indeed heads above their breasts, and breasts above their loins, and loins above their feet, like the primeval men; but in their heads there is not any thing of gold, nor in their breasts any thing of silver, nor in their loins any thing of brass, no, nor in their feet any thing of pure iron; but in their heads is iron mixed with clay, in their breasts is each mixed with brass, in their loins is also each mixed with silver, and in their feet is each mixed with gold: by this inversion they are changed from men (_homines_) into graven images of men, in which inwardly nothing coheres; for what was highest, is made lowest, thus what was the head is become the heel, and _vice versa_. they appear to us from heaven like stage-players, who lie upon their elbows with the body inverted, and put themselves in a walking motion; or like beasts, which lie on their backs, and lift the feet upwards, and from the head, which they plunge in the earth, look towards heaven." we passed through the forest, and entered the wilderness, which was not less terrible: it consisted of heaps of stones, and ditches between them, out of which crept hydras and vipers, and there flew forth venomous flying serpents. this whole wilderness was on a continual declivity: we descended by a long steep descent, and at length came into the valley inhabited by the people of that region and age. there were here and there cottages, which appeared at length to meet, and to be joined together in the form of a city: this we entered, and lo! the houses were built of the scorched branches of trees, cemented together with mud and covered with black slates. the streets were irregular; all of them at the entrance narrow, but wider as they extended, and at the end spacious, where there were places of public resort: here there were as many places of public resort as there were streets. as we entered the city, it became dark, because the sky did not appear; we therefore looked up and light was given us, and we saw: and then i asked those we met, "are you able to see because the sky does not appear above you?" they replied "what a question is this! we see clearly; we walk in full light." on hearing this, the angel said to me, "darkness to them is light, and light darkness, as is the case with birds of night; as they look downwards and not upwards." we entered into some of the cottages, and saw in each a man with his woman, and we asked them, "do all live here in their respective houses with one wife only?" and they replied with a hissing, "what do you mean by one wife only? why do not you ask, whether we live with one harlot? what is a wife but a harlot? by our laws it is not allowable to commit fornication with more than one woman; but still we do not hold it dishonorable or unbecoming to do so with more; yet out of our own houses we glory in the one among another: thus we rejoice in the license we take, and the pleasure attending it, more than polygamists. why is a plurality of wives denied us, when yet it has been granted, and at this day is granted in the whole world about us? what is life with one woman only, but captivity and imprisonment? we however in this place have broken the bolt of this prison, and have rescued ourselves from slavery, and made ourselves free, and who is angry with a prisoner for asserting his freedom when it is in his power?" to this we replied, "you speak, friend, as if without any sense of religion. what rational person does not know that adulteries are profane and infernal, and that marriages are holy and heavenly. do not adulteries take place with devils in hell, and marriages with angels in heaven? did you never read the sixth commandment [footnote: according to the division of the commandments adopted by the church of england, it is the _seventh_ that is here referred to.] of the decalogue? and in paul, that adulterers can by no means enter heaven?" hereupon our host laughed heartily, and regarded me as a simpleton, and almost as out of my senses. but just then there came running a messenger from the chief of the city, and said, "bring the two strangers into the town-hall; and if they refuse to come, drag them there: we have seen them in a shade of light; they have entered privately; they are spies." hereupon the angel said to me, "the reason why we were seen in a shade, is, because the light of heaven in which we have been, is to them a shade, and the shade of hell is to them light; and this is because they regard nothing as sin, not even adultery: hence they see what is false altogether as what is true; and what is false is lucid in hell before satans, and what is true darkens their eyes like the shade of night." we said to the messenger, "we will not be pressed, still less will we be dragged into the town-hall; but we will go with you of our own accord." so we went: and lo! there was a great crowd assembled, out of which came some lawyers, and whispered to us, saying, "take heed to yourselves how you speak any thing against religion, the form of our government, and good manners:" and we replied, "we will not speak against them, but for them and from them." then we asked, "what are your religious notions respecting marriages?" at this the crowd murmured, and said, "what have you to do here with marriages? marriages are marriages." again we asked, "what are your religious notions respecting whoredoms?" at this also they murmured, saying, "what have you to do here with whoredoms? whoredoms are whoredoms: let him that is guiltless cast the first stone." and we asked thirdly, "does your religion teach that marriages are holy and heavenly, and that adulteries are profane and infernal?" hereupon several in the crowd laughed aloud, jested, and bantered, saying, "inquire of our priests, and not of us, as to what concerns religion. we acquiesce entirely in what they declare; because no point of religion is an object of decision in the understanding. have you never heard that the understanding is without any sense or discernment in mysteries, which constitute the whole of religion? and what have actions to do with religion? is not the soul made blessed by the muttering of words from a devout heart concerning expiation, satisfaction, and imputation, and not by works?" but at this instant there came some of the wise ones of the city, so called, and said, "retire hence; the crowd grows angry; a storm is gathering: let us talk in private on this subject; there is a retired walk behind the town-hall; come with us there." we followed them; and they asked us whence we came, and what was our business there? and we said, "to be instructed concerning marriages, whether they are holy with you, as they were with the ancients who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages; or whether they are not holy." and they replied, "what do you mean by holiness? are not marriages works of the flesh and of the night?" and we answered, "are they not also works of the spirit? and what the flesh does from the spirit, is not that spiritual? and all that the spirit does, it does from the marriage of good and truth. is not this marriage spiritual, which enters the natural marriage of husband and wife?" to this the wise ones, so called, made answer, "there is too much subtlety and sublimity in what you say on this subject; you ascend far above rational principles to spiritual: and who, beginning at such an elevation, can descend thence, and thus form any decision?" to this they added with a smile of ridicule, "perhaps you have the wings of an eagle, and can fly in the highest region of heaven, and make these discoveries: this we cannot do." we then asked them to tell us, from the altitude or region in which the winged ideas of their minds fly, whether they knew, or were able to know, that the love of one man with one wife is conjugial love, into which are collected all the beatitudes, satisfactions, delights, pleasantnesses, and pleasures of heaven; and that this love is from the lord according to the reception of good and truth from him; thus according to the state of the church? on hearing this, they turned away, and said, "these men are out of their senses; they enter the ether with their judgement, and scatter about vain conjectures like nuts and almonds." after this they turned to us, saying, "we will give a direct answer to your windy conjectures and dreams;" and they said, "what has conjugial love in common with religion and inspiration from god? is not this love with every one according to the state of his potency? is it not the same with those who are out of the church as with those who are in it, with gentiles as with christians, yea, with the impious as with the pious? has not every one the strength of this love either hereditarily, or from bodily health, or from temperance of life, or from warmth of climate? by medicines also it may be strengthened and stimulated. is not the case similar with the brute creation, especially with birds which unite in pairs? moreover, is not this love carnal? and what has a carnal principle in common with the spiritual state of the church? does this love, as to its ultimate effect with a wife, differ at all from love as to its effect with a harlot? is not the lust similar, and the delight similar? wherefore it is injurious to deduce the origin of conjugial love from the holy things of the church." on hearing this, we said to them, "you reason from the stimulus of lasciviousness, and not from conjugial love; you are altogether ignorant what conjugial love is, because it is cold with you; from what you have said we are convinced that you are of the age which has its name from and consists of iron and clay, which do not cohere, according to the prophecy in daniel, chap. ii. ; for you make conjugial love and adulterous love the same thing; and do these two cohere any more than iron and clay? you are believed and called wise, and yet you have not the smallest pretensions to that character." on hearing this, they were inflamed with rage and made a loud cry, and called the crowd together to cast us out; but at that instant, by virtue of power given us by the lord, we stretched out our hands, and lo! the flying serpents, vipers, and hydras, and also the dragons from the wilderness, presented themselves, and entered and filled the city; at which the inhabitants being terrified fled away. the angel then said to me, "into this region new comers from the earth daily enter, and the former inhabitants are by turns separated and cast down into the gulphs of the west, which appear at a distance like lakes of fire and brimstone. all in those gulphs are spiritual and natural adulterers." . the sixth memorable relation. as the angel said this, i looked to the western boundary, and lo! there appeared as it were lakes of fire and brimstone; and i asked him, why the hells in that quarter had such an appearance? he replied, "they appear as lakes in consequence of the falsifications of truth; because water in the spiritual sense signifies truth; and there is an appearance as it were of fire round about them, and in them, in consequence of the love of evil, and as it were of brimstone in consequence of the love of what is false. those three things, the lake, the fire, and the brimstone, are appearances, because they are correspondences of the evil loves of the inhabitants. all in that quarter are shut up in eternal work-houses, where they labor for food, for clothing, and for a bed to lie on; and when they do evil, they are grievously and miserably punished." i further asked the angel, why he said that in that quarter are spiritual and natural adulterers, and why he had not rather said, that they were evil doers and impious? he replied, "because all those who make light of adulteries, that is, who commit them from a confirmed persuasion that they are not sins, and thus are in the purpose of committing them from a belief of their being harmless, are in their hearts evil doers and impious; for the conjugial human principle ever goes hand in hand with religion; and every step and movement made under the influence of religion, and leading to it, is also a step and movement made under the influence of the conjugial principle, and leading to it, which is peculiar and proper to the christian." on asking what that conjugial principle was, he said, "it is the desire of living with one wife; and every christian has this desire according to his religion." i was afterwards grieved in spirit to think that marriages, which in the most ancient times had been most holy, were so wretchedly changed into adulteries. the angel said, "the case is the same at this day with religion; for the lord says '_in the consummation of the age there will be the abomination of desolation foretold by daniel. and there will be great affliction, such as there has not been from the beginning of the world_,' matt. xxiv. , . the abomination of desolation signifies the falsification and deprivation of all truth; affliction signifies the state of the church infested by evils and falses; and the consummation of the age, concerning which those things are spoken, signifies the last time or end of the church. the end is now, because there does not remain a truth which is not falsified; and the falsification of truth is spiritual whoredom, which acts in unity with natural whoredom, because they cohere." . as we were conversing and lamenting together on this occasion, there suddenly appeared a beam of light, which, darting powerfully upon my eyes, caused me to look up: and lo! the whole heaven above us appeared luminous; and from the east to the west in an extended series we heard a glorification: and the angel said to me, "that is a glorification of the lord on account of his coming, and is made by the angels of the eastern and western heavens." from the northern and southern heavens nothing was heard but a soft and pleasing murmur. as the angel understood everything, he told me first, that glorifications and celebrations of the lord are made from the word, because then they are made from the lord; for the lord is the word, that is, the essential divine truth therein; and he said, "now in particular they glorify and celebrate the lord by these words, which were spoken by daniel the prophet, '_thou sawest iron mixed with miry clay; they shall mingle themselves together by the seed of man; but they shall not cohere. nevertheless in those days the god of the heavens shall cause a kingdom to arise, which shall not perish for ages. it shall bruise and consume those kingdoms; but itself shall stand for ages_.' dan. ii. , ." after this, i heard as it were the voice of singing, and further in the east i saw a glittering of light more resplendent than the former; and i asked the angel what was the subject of their glorification? he said, "these words in daniel; '_i saw in the visions of the night, and lo! with the clouds of heaven there came as it were the son of man: and to him was given dominion and a kingdom; and all people and nations shall worship him. his dominion is the dominion of an age, which shall not pass away; and his kingdom that which shall not perish_,' dan. vii. , . they are further celebrating the lord from these words in the revelation: '_to jesus christ be glory and strength: behold he cometh with clouds. he is alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last; who is, who was, and who is to come, the almighty. i, john, heard this from the son of man, out of the midst of the seven candlesticks_,' rev. i. - , - ; chap. xxii. ; matt. xxiv. , ." i looked again into the eastern heaven: it was enlightened on the right side, and the light entered the southern expanse. i heard a sweet sound; and i asked the angel, what was the subject of their glorification in that quarter respecting the lord? he said, "these words in the revelation: '_i saw a new heaven and a new earth; and i saw the holy city, new jerusalem, coming down from god out of heaven, prepared as a bride for her husband: and the angel spake with me, and said, come, i will shew thee the bride, the lamb's wife: and he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me the holy city, jerusalem_,' rev. xxi. , , , : also these words, 'i jesus _am the bright and morning star; and the spirit and the bride say, come; and he said, even i come quickly; amen: even come, lord jesus_,' rev. xxii. , , ." after these and several other subjects of glorification, there was heard a common glorification from the east to the west of heaven, and also from the south to the north; and i asked the angel, "what now is the subject?" he said, "these words from the prophets; '_let all flesh know that i, jehovah, am thy saviour and thy redeemer_,' isaiah xlix. . '_thus saith jehovah, the king of israel, and his redeemer, jehovah zebaoth, i am the first and the last, and beside me there is no god_,' isaiah xliv. . '_it shall be said in that day, lo! this is our god, whom we have expected to deliver us; this is jehovah whom we have expected_.' isaiah xxv. . '_the voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, prepare a way for jehovah. behold the lord jehovah cometh in strength. he shall feed his flock like a shepherd_,' isaiah xl. , , . '_unto us a child is born; unto us a son is given; whose name is wonderful counsellor, god, hero, father of eternity, prince of peace_,' isaiah ix. . '_behold the days will come, and i will raise up to david a righteous branch, who shall reign a king: and this is his name, jehovah our righteousness_,' jeremiah xxiii. , ; chap, xxxiii. , . '_jehovah zebaoth is his name, and thy redeemer the holy one of israel: the god of the whole earth shall he be called_,' isaiah liv. . 'in that day there shall be one jehovah, and his name one,' zech. xiv. ." on hearing and understanding these words, my heart exulted, and i went home with joy; and there i returned out of a state of the spirit into a state of the body; in which latter state i committed to writing what i had seen and heard: to which i now add the following particular. that conjugial love, such as it was with the ancients, will be revived again by the lord after his coming; because this love is from the lord alone, and is the portion of those who from him, by means of the word, are made spiritual. . after this, a man from the northern quarter came running in great haste, and looked at me with a threatening countenance, and addressing me in a passionate tone of voice, said, "are you the man that wishes to seduce the world, under the notion of re-establishing a new church, which you understand by the new jerusalem coming down out of heaven from god; and teaching, that the lord will endow with love truly conjugial those who embrace the doctrines of that church; the delights and felicity of which love you exalt to the very heaven? is not this a mere fiction? and do you not hold it forth as a bait and enticement to accede to your new opinions? but tell me briefly, what are the doctrinals of the new church, and i will see whether they agree or disagree." i replied, "the doctrines of the church, which is meant by the new jerusalem, are as follow: i. that there is one god, in whom there is a divine trinity; and that he is the lord jesus christ. ii. that a saving faith is to believe on him. iii. that evils are to be shunned, because they are of the devil and from the devil. iv. that goods are to be done, because they are of god and from god. v. that these are to be done by a man as from himself; but that it ought to be believed, that they are done from the lord with him and by him." on hearing these doctrines, his fury for some moments abated; but after some deliberation he again looked at me sternly, and said, "are these five precepts the doctrines of faith and charity of the new church?" i replied, "they are." he then asked sharply, "how can you demonstrate the first, 'that there is one god in whom there is a divine trinity; and that he is the lord jesus christ?" i said, "i demonstrate it thus: is not god one and individual? is not there a trinity? if god be one and individual, is not he one person? if he be one person, is not the trinity in that person? that this god is the lord jesus christ, is evident from these considerations, that he was conceived from god the father, luke i. , ; and thus that as to his soul he is god; and hence, as he himself saith, that the father and himself are one, john x. ; that he is in the father, and the father in him, john xix. , ; that he that seeth him and knoweth him, seeth and knoweth the father, john xiv. , ; that no one seeth and knoweth the father, except he that is in the bosom of the father, john i. ; that all things of the father are his, john iii. ; chap. xvi. ; that he is the way, the truth, and the life; and that no one cometh to the father but by him, john xiv. ; thus of or from him, because the father is in him; and, according to paul, that all the fulness of the godhead dwelleth bodily in him, coloss. ii. ; and moreover, that he hath power over all flesh, john xvii. ; and that he hath all power in heaven and in earth, matt, xxviii. : from which declarations it follows, that he is god of heaven and earth." he afterwards asked how i proved the second, "that a saving faith is to believe on him?" i said, "by these words of the lord, 'this is the will of the father, that every one that believeth on the son should have eternal life, john vi. .' 'god so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten son, that every one that believeth on him should not perish, but should have eternal life,' john iii. , . 'he that believeth on the son, hath eternal life; but he that believeth not the son will not see life; but the wrath of god abideth on him,' john iii. ." he afterwards said, "demonstrate also the third, and the next two doctrines:" i replied, "what need is there to demonstrate 'that evils ought to be shunned, because they are of the devil and from the devil; and that goods ought to be done, because they are of god and from god;' also 'that the latter are to be done by a man as from himself; but that he ought to believe that they are from the lord with him and by him?' that these three doctrines are true, is confirmed by the whole sacred scripture from beginning to end; for what else is therein principally insisted on, but to shun evils and do goods, and believe on the lord god? moreover, without these three doctrines there can be no religion: for does not religion relate to life? and what is life but to shun evils and do goods? and how can a man do the latter and shun the former but as from himself? therefore if you remove these doctrines from the church, you remove from it the sacred scripture, and also religion; and these being removed, the church is no longer a church." the man on hearing this retired, and mused on what he had heard; but still he departed in indignation. * * * * * on the origin of conjugial love as grounded in the marriage of good and truth. . there are both internal and external origins of conjugial love, and several of each; nevertheless there is but one inmost or universal origin of all. that this origin is the marriage of good and truth, shall be demonstrated in what now follows. the reason why no one heretofore has deduced the origin of that love from this ground, is, because it has never yet been discovered that there is any union between good and truth; and the reason why this discovery has not been made, is, because good does not appear in the light of the understanding, as truth does, and hence the knowledge of it conceals itself and evades every inquiry: and as from this circumstance good is as it were unknown, it was impossible for any one to conjecture that any marriage subsisted between it and truth: yea, before the rational natural sight, good appears so different from truth, that no conjunction between them can be supposed. that this is the case, may be seen from common discourse whenever they are mentioned; as when it is said, "this is good," truth is not at all thought of; and when it is said, "this is true," neither is good at all thought of; therefore at this day it is believed by many, that truth is one thing and good another; and by many also, that a man is intelligent and wise, and thereby a man (_homo_), according to the truths which he thinks, speaks, writes, and believes, and not at the same time according to goods. that nevertheless there is no good without truth, nor any truth without good, consequently that there is an eternal marriage between them; also that this marriage is the origin of conjugial love, shall now be shewn and explained in the following order: i. _good and truth are the universals of creation, and thence are in all created things; but they are in created subjects according to the form of each._ ii. _there is neither solitary good nor solitary truth, but in all cases they are conjoined._ iii. _there is the truth of good, and from this the good of truth; or truth grounded in good, and good grounded in that truth: and in those two principles is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into a one._ iv. _in the subjects of the animal kingdom, the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is male (or masculine); and the good of that truth, or good grounded in that truth, is female (or feminine)._ v. _from the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the lord, the love of the sex and conjugial love are derived._ vi. _the love of the sex belongs to the external or natural man, and hence it is common to every animal._ vii. _but conjugial love belongs to the internal or spiritual man; and hence this love is peculiar to man._ viii. _with man conjugial love is in the love of the sex as a gem in its matrix._ ix. _the love of the sex with man is not the origin of conjugial love, but its first rudiment; thus it is like an external natural principle, in which an internal spiritual principle is implanted._ x. _during the implantation of conjugial love, the love of the sex inverts itself and becomes the chaste love of the sex._ xi. _the male and the female were created to be the essential form of the marriage of good and truth._ xii. _they are that form in their inmost principles, and thence in what is derived from those principles, in proportion as the interiors of their minds are opened._ we will now proceed to the explanation. . i. good and truth are the universals of creation, and thence are in all created things; but they are in created subjects according to the form of each. the reason why good and truth are the universals of creation, is, because these two are in the lord god the creator; yea, they are himself; for he is essential divine good and essential divine truth. but this enters more clearly into the perception of the understanding, and thereby into the ideas of thought, if instead of good we say love, and instead of truth we say wisdom: consequently that in the lord god the creator there are divine love and divine wisdom, and that they are himself; that is, that he is essential love and essential wisdom; for those two are the same as good and truth. the reason of this is, because good has relation to love, and truth to wisdom; for love consists of goods, and wisdom truths. as the two latter and the two former are one and the same, in the following pages we shall sometimes speak of the latter and sometimes of the former, while by both the same is understood. this preliminary observation is here made, lest different meanings should be attached to the expressions when they occur in the following pages. . since therefore the lord god the creator is essential love and essential wisdom, and from him was created the universe, which thence is as a work proceeding from him, it must needs be, that in all created things there is somewhat of good and of truth from him; for whatever is done and proceeds from any one, derives from him a certain similarity to him. that this is the case, reason also may see from the order in which all things in the universe were created; which order is, that one exists for the sake of another, and that thence one depends upon another, like the links of a chain: for all things are for the sake of the human race, that from it the angelic heaven may exist, through which creation returns to the creator himself, in whom it originated: hence there is a conjunction of the created universe with its creator, and by conjunction everlasting conservation. hence it is that good and truth are called the universals of creation. that this is the case, is manifested to every one who takes a rational view of the subject: he sees in every created thing something which relates to good, and something which relates to truth. . the reason why good and truth in created subjects are according to the form of each, is, because every subject receives influx according to its form. the conservation of the whole consists in the perpetual influx of divine good and divine truth into forms created from those principles; for thereby subsistence or conservation is perpetual existence or creation. that every subject receives influx according to its form, may be illustrated variously; as by the influx of heat and light from the sun into vegetables of every kind; each of which receives influx according to its form; thus every tree and shrub according to its form, every herb and every blade of grass according to its form: the influx is alike into all; but the reception, which is according to the form, causes every species to continue a peculiar species. the same thing may also be illustrated by the influx into animals of every kind according to the form of each. that the influx is according to the form of every particular thing, may also be seen by the most unlettered person, if he attends to the various instruments of sound, as pipes, flutes, trumpets, horns, and organs which give forth a sound from being blown alike, or from a like influx of air, according to their respective forms. . ii. there is neither solitary good nor solitary truth. but in all cases they are conjoined. whoever is desirous from any of the senses to acquire an idea respecting good, cannot possibly find it without the addition of something which exhibits and manifests it: good without this is a nameless entity; and this something, by which it is exhibited and manifested, has relation to truth. pronounce the term _good_ only, and say nothing at the same time of this or that thing with which it is conjoined; or define it abstractedly, or without the addition of anything connected with it; and you will see that it is a mere nothing, and that it becomes something with its addition; and if you examine the subject with discernment, you will perceive that good, without some addition, is a term of no predication, and thence of no relation, of no affection, and of no state; in a word, of no quality. the case is similar in regard to truth, if it be pronounced and heard without what it is joined with: that what it is joined with relates to good, may be seen by refined reason. but since goods are innumerable, and each ascends to its greatest, and descends to its least, as by the steps of a ladder, and also, according to its progression and quality, varies its name, it is difficult for any but the wise to see the relation of good and truth to their objects, and their conjunction in them. that nevertheless there is not any good without truth, nor any truth without good, is manifest from common perception, provided it be first acknowledged that every thing in the universe has relation to good and truth; as was shewn in the foregoing article, n. , . that there is neither solitary good nor solitary truth, may be illustrated and at the same time confirmed by various considerations; as by the following: that there is no essence without a form, nor any form without an essence; for good is an essence or _esse_; and truth is that by which the essence is formed and the _esse_ exists. again in a man (_homo_) there are the will and the understanding. good is of the will, and truth is of the understanding; and the will alone does nothing but by the understanding; nor does the understanding alone do anything but from the will. again, in a man there are two fountains of bodily life, the heart and the lungs. the heart cannot produce any sensitive and moving life without the respiring lungs; neither can the lungs without the heart. the heart has relation to good, and the respiration of the lungs to truth: there is also a correspondence between them. the case is similar in all the things of the mind and of the body belonging to him; but we have not leisure to produce further confirmations in this place; therefore the reader is referred to the angelic wisdom concerning the divine providence, n. - , where this subject is more fully confirmed and explained in the following order: i. that the universe with all its created subjects, is from the divine love by the divine wisdom; or, what is the same thing, from the divine good by the divine truth. ii. that the divine good and the divine truth proceed as a one from the lord. iii. that this one, in a certain image, is in every created thing. v. that good is not good, only so far as it is united with truth; and that truth is not truth, only so far as it is united with good. vii. that the lord doesn't suffer that any thing should be divided; wherefore a man must either be in good and at the same time in truth, or in evil and at the same time in falsehood: not to mention several other considerations. . iii. there is the truth of good, and from this the good of truth; or truth grounded in good, and good grounded in that truth; and in those two principles is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into a one. it is necessary that some distinct idea be acquired concerning these principles; because on such idea depends all knowledge respecting the essential origin of conjugial love: for, as will be seen presently, the truth of good, or truth grounded on good, is male (or masculine), and the good of truth, or good grounded in that truth, is female (or feminine): but this may be comprehended more distinctly, if instead of good we speak of love, and instead of truth we speak of wisdom; which are one and the same, as may be seen above, n. . wisdom cannot exist with a man but by means of the love of growing wise; if this love be taken away, it is altogether impossible for him to become wise. wisdom derived from this love is meant by the truth of good, or by truth grounded in good: but when a man has procured to himself wisdom from that love, and loves it in himself, or himself for its sake, he then forms a love which is the love of wisdom, and is meant by the good of truth, or by good grounded in that truth. there are therefore two loves belonging to a man, whereof one, which is prior, is the love of growing wise; and the other, which is posterior, is the love of wisdom: but this latter love if it remains with man, is an evil love, and is called self-conceit, or the love of his own intelligence. that it was provided from creation, that this love should be taken out of the man, lest it should destroy him, and should be transferred to the woman, for the effecting of conjugial love, which restores man to integrity, will be confirmed in the following pages. something respecting those two loves, and the transfer of the latter to the woman, may be seen above, n. , , and in the preliminary memorable relation, n. . if therefore instead of love is understood good, and instead of wisdom truth, it is evident, from what has been already said, that there exists the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, and from this the good of truth, or good grounded in that truth. . the reason why in these two principles there is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into a one, is because the one was formed from the other; wisdom being formed from the love of growing wise, or truth being formed from good; and the love of wisdom being formed from that wisdom, or the good of truth from that truth; from which formation it may be seen, that there is a mutual inclination to re-unite themselves, and to join themselves together into a one. this effect takes place with men who are in genuine wisdom, and with women who are in the love of that wisdom in the husband; thus with those who are in love truly conjugial. but concerning the wisdom which ought to exist with the man, and which should be loved by the wife, more will be said in what follows. . iv. in the subject of the animal kingdom the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is male (or masculine); and the good of that truth, or good grounded in that truth, is female (or feminine). that from the lord, the creator and supporter of the universe, there flows a perpetual union of love and wisdom, or a marriage of good and truth, and that created subjects receive the influx, each according to its form, was shewn above, n. - : but that the male from this marriage, or from that union, receives the truth of wisdom, and that the good of love from the lord is conjoined thereto according to reception, and that this reception takes place in the intellect, and that hence the male is born to become intellectual, reason, by its own light, may discover from various particulars respecting him, especially from his affection, application, manners, and form. it is discoverable from his affection, which is the affection of knowing, of understanding, and of growing wise; the affection of knowing takes place in childhood, the affection of understanding in youth and in the entrance upon manhood, and the affection of growing wise takes place from the entrance upon manhood even to old age; from which it is evident, that his nature or peculiar temper is inclinable to form the intellect; consequently that he is born to become intellectual: but as this cannot be effected except by means of love, therefore the lord adjoins love to him according to his reception; that is, according to his intention in desiring to grow wise. the same is discoverable from his application, which is to such things as respect the intellect, or in which the intellect is predominant; several of which relate to public offices and regard the public good. the same is discoverable too from his manners, which are all grounded in the intellect as a ruling principle; in consequence whereof the actions of his life, which are meant by manners, are rational; and if not, still he is desirous they should appear so; masculine rationality is also discernible in every one of his virtues. lastly, the same is discoverable from his form, which is different and totally distinct from the female form; on which subject see also what was said above, n. . add to this, that the principle of prolification is in him, which is derived from the intellect alone; for it is from truth grounded in good in the intellect: that the principle of prolification is from this source may be seen in the following pages. . but that the female is born to be a subject of the will (_ut sit voluntaria_), yet a subject of the will as grounded in the intellectual principle of the man, or what is the same, to be the love of the man's wisdom, because she was formed through his wisdom, (on which subject see above, n. , ,) may also appear from the female's affection, application, manners, and form. from her affection, which is the affection of loving knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom; nevertheless not in herself but in the man; and thus of loving the man: for the man (_vir_) cannot be loved merely on account of his form, in that he appears as a man (_homo_), but on account of the talent with which he is gifted, which causes him to be a man. from her application; in that it is to such manual works as knitting, needlework, and the like, serving for ornament, both to decorate herself and to exalt her beauty: and moreover from her application to various domestic duties, which connect themselves with the duties of men, which, as was said, relate to public offices. they are led to these duties from an inclination to marriage, that they may become wives, and thereby one with their husbands. that the same is also discoverable from their manners and form, needs no explanation. . v. from the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the lord, the love of the sex and conjugial love are derived. that good and truth are the universals of creation, and thence are in all created subjects; and that they are in created subjects according to the form of each; and that good and truth proceed from the lord not as two but as one, was shewn above, n. - : from these considerations it follows, that the universal conjugial sphere proceeds from the lord, and pervades the universe from its primaries to its ultimates; thus from angels even to worms. the reason why such a sphere of the marriage of good and truth proceeds from the lord, is, because it is also the sphere of propagation, that is, of prolification and fructification; and this sphere is the same with the divine providence relating to the preservation of the universe by successive generations. now since this universal sphere, which is that of the marriage of good and truth, flows into its subjects according to the form of each, see n. , it follows that the male receives it according to his form, thus in the intellect, because he is in an intellectual form; and that the female receives it according to her form, thus in the will, because she is a form of the will grounded in the intellect of the man; and since that sphere is also the sphere of prolification, it follows that hence is the love of the sex. . the reason why conjugial love also is from this same source, is, because that sphere flows into the form of wisdom with men, and also with angels; for a man may increase in wisdom to the end of his life in the world, and afterwards to eternity in heaven; and in proportion as he increases in wisdom, his form is perfected; and this form receives not the love of the sex, but the love of one of the sex; for with one of the sex it may be united to the inmost principles in which heaven with its felicities consists, and this union is conjugial love. . vi. the love of the sex belongs to the external or natural man, and hence it is common to every animal. every man is born corporeal, and becomes more and more interiorly natural, and in proportion as he loves intelligence he becomes rational, and afterwards, if he loves wisdom, he becomes spiritual. what the wisdom is by which a man becomes spiritual, will be shewn in the following pages, n. . now as a man advances from knowledge into intelligence, and from intelligence into wisdom, so also his mind changes its form; for it is opened more and more, and conjoins itself more nearly with heaven, and by heaven with the lord; hence it becomes more enamored of truth, and more desirous of the good of life. if therefore he halts at the threshold in the progression to wisdom, the form of his natural mind remains; and this receives the influx of the universal sphere, which is that of the marriage of good and truth, in the same manner as it is received by the inferior subjects of the animal kingdom--beasts and birds; and as these are merely natural, the man in such case becomes like them, and thereby loves the sex just as they do. this is what is meant by the assertion,--the love of the sex belongs to the external or natural man, and hence it is common to every animal. . vii. but conjugial love belongs to the internal or spiritual man; and hence this love is peculiar to man. the reason why conjugial love belongs to the internal or spiritual man is, because in proportion as a man becomes more intelligent and wise, in the same proportion he becomes more internal and spiritual, and in the same proportion the form of his mind is more perfected; and this form receives conjugial love: for therein it perceives and is sensible of a spiritual delight, which is inwardly blessed, and a natural delight thence arising, which derives its soul, life, and essence from the spiritual delight. . the reason why conjugial love is peculiar to man, is because he only can become spiritual, he being capable of elevating his intellect above his natural loves, and from that state of elevation of seeing them beneath him, and of judging of their quality, and also of amending, correcting, and removing them. no other animal can do this; for the loves of other animals are altogether united with their inborn knowledge; on which account this knowledge cannot be elevated into intelligence, and still less into wisdom; in consequence of which every other animal is led by the love implanted in his knowledge, as a blind person is led through the streets by a dog. this is the reason which conjugial love is peculiar to man; it may also be called native and near akin to him; because man has the faculty of growing wise, with which faculty this love is united. . viii. with man conjugial love is in the love of the sex as a gem in its matrix. as this however is merely a comparison, we will explain it in the article which immediately follows: this comparison also illustrates what was shown just above, n. , ,--that the love of the sex belongs to the external or natural man, and conjugial love to the internal or spiritual man. . ix. the love of the sex with man is not the origin of conjugial love, but its first rudiment; thus it is like an external natural principle, in which an internal spiritual principle is implanted. the subject here treated of is love truly conjugial, and not ordinary love, which also is called conjugial, and which with some is merely the limited love of the sex. love truly conjugial exists only with those who desire wisdom, and who consequently advance more and more into wisdom. these the lord foresees, and provides for them conjugial love; which love indeed commences with them from the love of the sex, or rather by it; but still it does not originate in it; for it originates in proportion to the advancement in wisdom and the dawning of the light thereof in man; for wisdom and that love are inseparable companions. the reason why conjugial love commences by the love of the sex is, because before a suitable consort is found, the sex in general is loved and regarded with a fond eye, and is treated with civility from a moral ground: for a young man has to make his choice; and while this is determining, from an innate inclination to marriage with one, which lies concealed in the interiors of his mind, his external receives a gentle warmth. a further reason is, because determinations to marriage are delayed from various causes even to riper years, and in the mean time the beginning of that love is as lust; which with some actually goes astray into the love of the sex; yet with them it is indulged no further than may be conducive to health. this, however, is to be understood as spoken of the male sex, because it has enticements which actually inflame it; but not of the female sex. from these considerations it is evident that the love of the sex is not the origin of love truly conjugial; but that it is its first rudiment in respect to time, yet not in respect to end; for what is first in respect to end, is first in the mind and its intention, because it is regarded as primary; but to this first there is no approaching unless successively through mediums, and these are not first in themselves, but only conducive to what is first in itself. . x. during the implantation of conjugial love, the love of the sex inverts itself and becomes the chaste love of the sex. it is said that in this case the love of the sex inverts itself; because while conjugial love is coming to its origin, which is in the interiors of the mind, it sees the love of the sex not before itself but behind, or not above itself but beneath, and thus as somewhat which it passes by and leaves. the case herein is similar to that of a person climbing from one office to another through a great variety, till he reaches one which exceeds the rest in dignity; when he looks back upon the offices through which he had passed, as behind or beneath him; or as when a person intends a journey to the palace of some king, after his arrival at his journey's end, he inverts his view in regard to the objects which he had seen in the way. that in this case the love of the sex remains and becomes chaste, and yet, to those who are principled in love truly conjugial, is sweeter than it was before, may be seen from the description given of it by those in the spiritual world, in the two memorable relations, n. , and . . xi. the male and the female were created to be the essential form of the marriage of good and truth. the reason for this is, because the male was created to be the understanding of truth, thus truth in form; and the female was created to be the will of good, thus good in form; and there is implanted in each, from their inmost principles, an inclination to conjunction into a one, as may be seen above, n. ; thus the two make one form, which emulates the conjugial form of good and truth. it is said to emulate it, because it is not the same, but is like it; for the good which joins itself with the truth belonging to the man, is from the lord immediately; whereas the good of the wife, which joins itself with the truth belonging to the man, is from the lord mediately through the wife; therefore there are two goods, the one internal, the other external, which join themselves with the truth belonging to the husband, and cause him to be constantly in the understanding of truth, and thence in wisdom, by love truly conjugial: but on this subject more will be said in the following pages. . xii. married partners are that form in their inmost principles, and thence in what is derived from those principles, in proportion as the interiors of their minds are opened. there are three things of which every man consists, and which follow in an orderly connection,--the soul, the mind, and the body: his inmost is the soul, his middle is the mind, and his ultimate is the body. every thing which flows from the lord into a man, flows into his inmost principle, which is the soul, and descends thence into his middle principle, which is the mind, and through this into his ultimate principle, which is the body. such is the nature of the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the lord with man: it flows immediately into his soul, and thence proceeds to the principles next succeeding, and through these to the extreme or outermost: and thus conjointly all the principles constitute conjugial love. from an idea of this influx it is manifest, that two married partners are the form of conjugial love in their inmost principles, and thence in those derived from the inmost. . but the reason why married partners become that form in proportion as the interiors of their minds are opened, is, because the mind is successively opened from infancy even to extreme old age: for a man is born corporeal: and in proportion as the mind is opened proximately above the body, he becomes rational; and in proportion as his rational principle is purified, and as it were drained of the fallacies which flow in from the bodily senses, and of the concupiscences which flow in from the allurements of the flesh, in the same proportion it is opened; and this is affected solely by wisdom: and when the interiors of the rational mind are open, the man becomes a form of wisdom; and this form is the receptacle of love truly conjugial. "the wisdom which constitutes this form, and receives this love, is rational, and at the same time moral, wisdom: rational wisdom regards the truths and goods which appear inwardly in man, not as its own, but as flowing in from the lord; and moral wisdom shuns evils and falses as leprosies, especially the evils of lasciviousness, which contaminate its conjugial love." * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations: the first is this. one morning before sun-rise i was looking towards the east in the spiritual world, and i saw four horsemen as it were issuing from a cloud refulgent with the flame of the dawning day. on their heads they had crested helmets, on their arms as it were wings, and around their bodies light orange-colored tunics; thus clad as for expedition, they rose in their seats, and gave their horses the reins, which thus ran as if they had had wings to their feet. i kept my eye fixed on their course or flight, desiring to know where they were going; and lo! three of the horsemen took their direction towards three different quarters, the south, the west, and the north; and the fourth in a short space of time halted in the east. wondering at all this, i looked up into heaven, and inquired where those horsemen were going? i received for answer, "to the wise men in the kingdoms of europe, who with clear reasoning and acute discernment discuss the subjects of their investigation, and are distinguished above the rest for their genius, that they may assemble together and explain the secret respecting the origin of conjugial love, and respecting its virtue or potency." it was then said from heaven, "wait awhile, and you will see twenty-seven chariots; three, in which are spaniards; three, in which are frenchmen; three, in which are italians; three, in which are germans; three, in which are dutchmen or hollanders; three, in which are englishmen; three, in which are swedes; three, in which are danes; and three, in which are poles." in about two hours i saw the chariots, drawn by horses of a pale-red color, with remarkable trappings: they passed rapidly along towards a spacious house in the confines of the east and south, around which all alighted from their several chariots, and entered in with much confidence. then it was said to me, "go, and do you also enter, and you will hear." i went and entered: and on examining the house within, i saw that it was square, the sides looking to the four quarters: in each side there were three high windows of crystalline glass, the frames of which were of olive-wood; on each side of the frames were projections from the walls, like chambers vaulted above, in which there were tables. the walls of these chambers were of cedar, the roof of the noble almug wood, and the floor of poplar boards. near the eastern wall, where no windows were seen, there was set a table overlaid with gold, on which was placed a turban set with precious stones, which was to be given as a prize or reward to him who should by investigation discover the secret about to be proposed. while my attention was directed to the chamber projections like closets near the windows, i saw five men in each from every kingdom of europe, who were prepared and waiting to know the object for the exercise of their judgements. an angel then presented himself in the middle of the palace, and said, "the object for the exercise of your judgements shall be respecting the origin of conjugial love, and respecting its virtue or potency. investigate this and decide upon it; and write your decision on a piece of paper, and put it into the silver urn which you see placed near the golden table, and subscribe the initial letter of the kingdom from which you come; as f for french, b for batavians or hollanders, i for italians, e for english, p for poles, g for german, h for spaniards (_hispani_), d for danes, s for swedes." as he said this, the angel departed, saying, "i will return." then the five men, natives of the same country, in each closet near the windows, took into consideration the proposed subject, examined it attentively, and came to a decision according to their respective talents and powers of judgement, which they wrote on a piece of paper, and placed it in the silver urn, having first subscribed the initial letter of their kingdom. this business being accomplished in about three hours, the angel returned and drew the papers in order from the urn, and read them before the assembly. . from the first paper which he happened to lay hold of, he read as follows; "we five, natives of the same country, in one closet have decreed that the origin of conjugial love is from the most ancient people in the golden age, and that it was derived to them from the creation of adam and his wife; hence is the origin of marriages, and with marriages the origin of conjugial love. the virtue or potency of conjugial love we derive from no other source than climate or situation in regard to the sun, and the consequent heat of the country; and we are confirmed in this sentiment, not by vain conjectures of reason, but by evident proofs of experience, as by the case of the people who live under the line, or the equinoctial, where the heat of the day is intense, and by the case of those who live nearer to the line, or more distant from it; and also from the co-operation of the sun's heat with the vital heat in the living creatures of the earth and the fowls of heaven, in the time of spring during prolification. moreover, what is conjugial love but heat, which becomes virtue or potency, if the heat supplied from the sun be added to it?" to this decision was subscribed the letter h, the initial of the kingdom from which they were. . after this he put his hand into the urn a second time, and took out a paper from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, in our lodge have agreed that the origin of conjugial love is the same with the origin of marriages, which were sanctioned by laws in order to restrain man's innate concupiscences prompting him to adultery, which ruins the soul, defiles the reason, pollutes the morals, and infects the body with disease: for adultery is not human but bestial, not rational but brutish, and thus not in any respect christian but barbarous: with a view to the condemnation of such adultery, marriages originated, and at the same time conjugial love. the case is the same with the virtue or potency of this love; for it depends on chastity, which consists in abstaining from the rovings of whoredom: the reason is, because virtue or potency, with him who loves his married partner alone, is confined to one, and is thus collected and as it were concentrated; and then it becomes refined like a quintessence from which all defilement is separated, which would otherwise be dispersed and cast away in every direction. one of us five, who is a priest, has also added predestination as a cause of that virtue or potency, saying, 'are not marriages predestinated? and this being the case, are not the progeny thence issuing and the means conducive thereto, predestinated also?' he insisted on adding this cause because he had sworn to it." to this decision was subscribed the letter b. on hearing it, a certain spirit observed with a smile, "how fair an apology is predestination for weakness or impotence!" . presently he drew from the urn a third paper, from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, in our department have deliberated concerning the causes of the origin of conjugial love, and have seen this to be the principal, that it is the same with the origin of marriage, because conjugial love had no existence before marriage; and the ground of its existence is, that when any one is desperately in love with a virgin, he desires in heart and soul to possess her as being lovely above all things; and as soon as she betroths herself to him he regards her as another self. that this is the origin of conjugial love, is clearly manifest from the fury of every man against his rivals, and from the jealousy which takes place in case of violation. we afterwards considered the origin of the virtue or potency of this love; and the sentiments of three prevailed against the other two, viz., that virtue or potency with a married partner arises from some degree of licentiousness with the sex. they affirmed that they knew from experience that the potency of the love of the sex is greater than the potency of conjugial love." to this decision was subscribed the letter i. on hearing it, there was a cry from the table, "remove this paper and take another out of the urn." . and instantly he drew out a fourth, from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, under our window have come to this conclusion, that the origin of conjugial love and of the love of the sex is the same, the former being derived from the latter; only that the love of the sex is unlimited, indeterminate, loose, promiscuous, and roving; whereas conjugial love is limited, determinate, fixed, regular, and constant; and that this love therefore has been sanctioned and established by the prudence of human wisdom as necessary to the existence of every empire, kingdom, commonwealth, and even society; for without it men would wander like droves of cattle in fields and forests, with harlots and ravished females, and would fly from one habitation to another to avoid the bloody murders, violations, and depredations, whereby the whole human race would be in danger of being extirpated. this is our opinion concerning the origin of conjugial love. but the virtue or potency of conjugial love we deduce from an uninterrupted state of bodily health continuing from infancy to old age; for the man who always retains a sound constitution and enjoys a continual freedom from sickness, feels his vigor unabated, while his fibres, nerves, muscles, and sinews, are neither torpid, relaxed, nor feeble, but retain the full strength of their powers: farewell." to this decision was subscribed the letter e. . fifthly, he drew a paper out of the urn, from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, at our table, from the rationality of our minds, have examined into the origin of conjugial love and of its virtue or potency; and from all the considerations which have presented themselves, we have seen and concluded upon no other origin of conjugial love than this: that every man, from incentives and consequent incitements which are concealed in the interiors of his mind and body, after indulging in various desires of his eyes, at length fixes his mind and inclination on one of the female sex, until his passion is determined entirely to her: from this moment his warmth is enkindled more and more, until at length it becomes a flame; in this state the inordinate love of the sex is banished, and conjugial love takes its place. a youthful bridegroom under the influence of this flame, knows no other than that the virtue or potency of this love will never cease; for he wants experience and therefore knowledge respecting a state of the failure of his powers, and of the coldness of love which then succeeds to delights: conjugial love therefore has its origin in this first ardor before the nuptial ceremony, and from the same source it derives its virtue or potency; but this virtue or potency changes its aspect after the nuptial ceremony, and decreases and increases; yet still it continues with regular changes, or with decrease and increase, even to old age, by means of prudent moderation, and by restraining the libidinous desires which burst forth from the lurking places of the mind not yet thoroughly purified: for libidinous desire precedes wisdom. this is our judgement concerning the origin and continuance of conjugial virtue or potency." to this decision was subscribed the letter p. . sixthly, he drew out a paper, from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, from the fellowship subsisting among us, have attentively considered the causes of the origin of conjugial love, and have agreed in assigning two; one of which is the right education of children, and the other the distinct possession of inheritances. we have assigned these two, because they aim at and regard the same end, which is the public good: and this end is obtained, because infants conceived and born from conjugial love become proper and true children; and these in consequence of the natural love of the parents, exalted by the consideration of their offspring being legitimate, are educated to be heirs of all their parents' possessions both spiritual and natural. that the public good is founded on a right education of children and on a distinct possession of inheritances, is obvious to reason. of the love of the sex and conjugial love, the latter appears as if it were one with the former, but it is distinctly different; neither is the one love near to the other, but within it; and what is within is more excellent than what is without: and we have seen that conjugial love from creation is within, and lies hid in the love of the sex, just as an almond does in its shell; therefore when conjugial love comes out of its shell, which is the love of the sex, it glitters before the angels like a gem, a beryl, and astroites. the reason of this is, because on conjugial love is inscribed the safety of the whole human race, which we conceive to be understood by the public good. this is our judgement respecting the origin of this love. with respect to the origin of its virtue or potency, from a consideration of its causes, we have concluded it to be the development and separation of conjugial love from the love of the sex, which is effected by wisdom on the man's part, and by the love of the man's wisdom on the part of the wife: for the love of the sex is common to man and beast; whereas conjugial love is peculiar to men: therefore so far as conjugial love is developed and separated from the love of the sex, so far a man is a man and not a beast; and a man acquires virtue or potency from his love, as a beast does from his." to this decision was subscribed the letter g. . seventhly, he drew out a paper from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, in the chamber under the light of our window, have found our thoughts and thence our judgements exhilarated by meditating on conjugial love; for who is not exhilarated by this love, which, while it prevails in the mind, prevails also through the whole body? we judge of the origin of this love from its delights; for who in any case knows or has known the trace of any love except from its delight and pleasurableness? the delights of conjugial love in their origins are felt as beatitudes, satisfactions, and happinesses, in their derivations as pleasantnesses and pleasures, and in their ultimates as superlative delights. the love of the sex therefore originates when the interiors of the mind, and thence the interiors of the body, are opened for the influx of those delights; but conjugial love originated at the time when, from entering into marriage engagements, the primitive sphere of that love ideally promoted those delights. the virtue or potency of this love arises from its passing, with its inmost principles, from the mind into the body; for the mind, by derivation from the head, is in the body, while it feels and acts, especially when it is delighted from this love: hence we judge of the degrees of its potency and the regularity of its alterations. moreover we also deduce the virtue of potency from the stock whence a man is descended: if this be noble on the father's side, it becomes also by transmission noble with his offspring. that such nobility is generated, inherited and descends by transmission, is agreeable to the dictates of reason supported by experience." to this decision was subscribed the letter f. . from the paper which came forth the eighth in order, he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, in our place of assembly have not discovered the real origin of conjugial love, because it lies deeply concealed in the sacred repositories of the mind. the most consummate vision cannot, by any intellectual effort, reach that love in its origin. we have made many conjectures; but after the vain exertion of subtle inquiry, we have been in doubt whether our conjectures might not be called rather trifling than judicious; therefore whoever is desirous to extract the origin of that love from the sacred repositories of his mind, and to exhibit it clearly before his eyes, let him go to _delphos_. we have contemplated that love beneath its origin, and have seen that in the mind it is spiritual, and as a fountain from which a sweet stream flows, whence it descends into the breast, where it becomes delightful, and is called bosom love, which in itself is full of friendship and confidence, from a full inclination to reciprocality; and that when it has passed the breast, it becomes genial love. these and similar considerations, which a young man revolves in his mind while he is determining his choice to one of the sex, kindle in his heart the fire of conjugial love; which fire, as it is the primitive of that love is its origin. in respect to the origin of its virtue or potency, we acknowledge no other than that love itself, they being inseparable companions, yet still they are such that sometimes the one precedes and sometimes the other. when the love precedes and the virtue or potency follows it, each is noble because in this case potency is the virtue of conjugial love; but if the potency precedes and the love follows, each is then ignoble; because in this case the love is subordinate to carnal potency; we therefore judge of the quality of each from the order in which the love descends or ascends, and thus proceeds from its origin to its proposed end." to this decision was subscribed the letter d. . lastly, or ninthly, he took up a paper, from which he read as follows: "we, natives of the same country, in our council-chamber have exercised our judgement on the two points proposed, viz., the origin of conjugial love, and the origin of its virtue or potency. in the subtleties of inquiry respecting the origin of conjugial love, in order to avoid obscurity in our reasonings, we have distinguished between the love of the sex as being spiritual, natural, and carnal; and by the spiritual love of the sex we have understood love truly conjugial, because this is spiritual; and by the natural love of the sex we have understood polygamical love, because this is natural; and by the merely carnal love of the sex we have understood adulterous love because this is merely carnal. in exercising our judgements to examine into love truly conjugial, we have clearly seen that this love exists only between one male and one female, and that from creation it is celestial and inmost, the soul and father of all good loves, being inspired into the first parents, and capable of being inspired into christians; it is also of such a conjunctive nature that by it two minds may become one mind, and two men (_homines_) as it were one man (_homo_); which is meant by becoming one flesh. that this love was inspired at creation, is plain from these words in the book of creation, '_and a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh_,' gen. ii. . that it can be inspired into christians, is evident from these words, '_jesus said, have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning, made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they two shall be one flesh? wherefore they are no longer two but one flesh_,' matt. xix. - . so far in regard to the origin of conjugial love: but as to the origin of the virtue or potency of love truly conjugial, we conceive it to proceed from a similitude of minds and unanimity; for when two minds are conjugially united, their thoughts spiritually kiss each other, and these inspire into the body their virtue or potency." to this decision was subscribed the letter s. . there were standing behind an oblong stage in the palace, erected before the doors, some strangers from africa, who cried out to the natives of europe, "permit one of us to deliver his sentiments respecting the origin of conjugial love, and respecting its virtue or potency." and immediately all the tables gave signs of assent with their hands. then one of them entered and stood at the table on which the turban was placed, and said, "you christians deduce the origin of conjugial love from love itself; but we africans deduce it from the god of heaven and earth. is not conjugial love a chaste, pure, and holy love? are not the angels of heaven principled therein? is not the whole human race, and thence the whole angelic heaven, the seed of that love? and can such super-eminent principle derive its existence from any other source than from god himself, the creator and preserver of the universe? you christians deduce conjugial virtue or potency from various causes rational and natural; but we africans deduce it from the state of man's conjunction with the god of the universe. this state we call a state of religion; but you call it a state of the church: for when the love is derived from that state, and is fixed and permanent, it must needs produce its own virtue, which resembles it, and thus also is fixed and permanent. love truly conjugial is known only to those few who live near to god; consequently the potency of that love is known to none else. this potency is described by the angels in the heavens as the delight of a perpetual spring." . as he said these word, the whole assembly arose, and lo! behind the golden table on which lay the turban, there appeared a window that had not before been seen; and through it was heard a voice, saying, "the african is to have the turban." the angel then gave it into his hand, but did not place it upon his head; and he went home with it. the inhabitants of the kingdoms of europe then left the assembly and entered their chariots, in which they returned to their respective societies. . the second memorable relation. awaking from sleep at midnight, i saw at some elevation towards the east an angel holding in his right hand a paper, which appeared extremely bright, being illuminated by the light flowing from the sun. in the middle of the paper there was written in golden letters, the marriage of good and truth. from the writing there darted forth a splendor which formed a wide circle about the paper. this circle or encompassing splendor appeared like the early dawn in spring. after this i saw the angel descending with the paper in his hand; and as he descended the paper became less and less lucid, and the writing, which was the marriage of good and truth, changed from a golden into a silver color, afterwards into a copper color, next into an iron color, and at length into the color of iron and copper rust: finally, i saw the angel enter an obscure mist, and through the mist descend upon the ground; and here i did not see the paper, although he still held it in his hand. this happened in the world of spirits, in which all men first assemble after their decease. the angel then said to me, "ask those who come hither whether they see me, or anything in my hand." there came a great number; one company from the east, another from the south, another from the west, and another from the north; and i asked those who came from the east and from the south, who in the world had applied themselves to literary pursuits, "do you see any one here with me, and anything in his hand?" they all said, "no." i then put the same question to those who came from the west and from the north, who in the world had believed in the words of the learned; and these gave the same answer: nevertheless the last of them, who in the world had been principled in simple faith grounded in charity, or in some degree of truth grounded in good, when the rest were gone away, said, that they saw a man with a paper, the man in a graceful dress, and the paper with letters written upon it: and when they applied their eyes nearer to it, they said that they could read these words, _the marriage of good and truth_; and they addressed the angel, intreating him to explain to them the meaning of the writing. he said, "all things in the whole heaven and in the whole world, are a marriage of good and truth; for all things whatever, both those which live and communicate life and those which do not live and do not communicate life, were created from and into the marriage of good and truth. there does not exist anything which was created into truth alone, or any thing which was created into good alone: solitary good or solitary truth is not any thing; but by marriage they exist and become something which derives its nature and quality from that of the marriage. in the lord the creator are divine good and divine truth in their very substance: the _esse_ of his substance is divine good, and its _existere_ is divine truth: in him also they are in their very essential union; for in him they infinitely make a one: and since these two in the creator himself are a one, therefore also they are a one in all things created from him; hereby also the creator is conjoined in an eternal covenant as of marriage with all things created from himself." the angel further said, that the sacred scripture, which proceeded immediately from the lord, is in general and in particular a marriage of good and truth; and since the church, which is formed by the truth of doctrine, and religion, which is formed by the good of life agreeable to the truth of doctrine, are with christians derived solely from the sacred scripture, therefore it may manifestly appear, that the church in general and in particular is a marriage of good and truth; (that this is the case, may be seen in the apocalypse revealed, n. , .) what has just been said concerning the marriage of good and truth, is applicable also to the marriage of charity and faith; for good relates to charity, and truth to faith. some of the spirits above-mentioned who did not see the angel and the writing, being still near, and hearing these things, said in an under tone, "_yes, we also comprehend what has been spoken_;" but the angel then said to them, "turn aside a little from me and speak in like manner." they turned aside, and then said aloud, "_it is not so_." after this the angel spoke concerning the marriage of good and truth with married pairs, saying, that if their minds were in that marriage, the husband being truth, and the wife the good thereof, they would both be in the delights of the blessedness and innocence, and thence in the happiness which the angels of heaven enjoy; and in this state the prolific principle of the husband would be in a continual spring, and thereby in the endeavour and vigor of propagating its truth, and the wife would be in a continual reception thereof from a principle of love. the wisdom which husbands derive from the lord, is sensible of no greater delight than to propagate its truths; and the love of wisdom which wives have from the lord is sensible of no higher gratification than to receive those truths as it were in the womb, and thus to conceive them, to carry them in the womb, and to bring them forth. spiritual prolifications with the angels of heaven are of this sort; and if you are disposed to believe it, natural prolifications are also from the same origin. the angel, after a salutation of peace, raised himself from the ground, and passing through the mist ascended into heaven; and then the paper shone as before according to the degrees of ascent; and behold! the circle, which before appeared as the dawn of day, descended and dispelled the mist which caused darkness on the ground, and a bright sunshine succeeded. on the marriage of the lord and the church, and its correspondence. . the reason why the marriage of the lord and the church, together with its correspondence, is here also treated of, is, because without knowledge and intelligence on this subject, scarcely any one can know, that conjugial love in its origin is holy, spiritual, and celestial, and that it is from the lord. it is said indeed by some in the church, that marriages have relation to the marriage of the lord with the church; but the nature and quality of this relationship is unknown, in order therefore that this relationship may be exhibited to the understanding so as to be seen in some degree of light, it is necessary to treat particularly of that holy marriage which has place with and in those who are the lord's church. these also, and no others, are principled in love truly conjugial. but for the better elucidation of this arcanum, it may be expedient to consider the subject distinctly, as arranged under the following articles: i. _the lord in the word is called the bridegroom and husband, and the church the bride and wife; and the conjunction of the lord with the church, and the reciprocal conjunction of the church with the lord, is called a marriage._ ii. _the lord is also called a father, and the church, a mother._ iii. _the offspring derived from the lord as a husband and father, and from the church as a wife and mother, are all spiritual; and in the spiritual sense of the word are understood by sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, and by other names of relations._ iv. _the spiritual offspring, which are born from the lord's marriage with the church are truths and goods; truths, from which are derived understanding, perception, and all thought; and goods, from which are derived love, charity, and all affection._ v. _from the marriage of good and truth, which proceeds from the lord in the way of influx, man (homo) receives truth, and the lord conjoins good thereto; and thus the church is formed by the lord with man._ vi. _the husband does not represent the lord and the wife the church; because both together, the husband and the wife, constitute the church._ vii. _therefore there is not a correspondence of the husband with the lord and of the wife with the church, in the marriages of the angels in the heavens and of men on earth._ viii. _but there is a correspondence with conjugial love, semination, prolification, the love of infants, and similar things which exist in marriages, and are derived from them._ ix. _the word is the medium of conjunction, because it is from the lord, and therefore is the lord._ x. _the church is from the lord, and exists with those who come to him, and live according to his precepts._ xi. _conjugial love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man (homo)._ xii. _and as the church is from the lord, conjugial love is also from him._ we proceed to the explanation of each article. . i. the lord in the word is called the bridegroom and husband, and the church the bride and wife; and the conjunction of the lord with the church, and the reciprocal conjunction of the church with the lord, is called a marriage. that the lord in the word is called the bridegroom and husband, and the church the bride and wife, may appear from the following passages: "_he that hath the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth with joy because of the bridegroom's voice_," john iii. : this was spoken by john the baptist concerning the lord. "_jesus said, so long as the bridegroom is with them, the sons of the nuptials cannot fast: the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then will they fast_," matt ix. ; mark ii. , ; luke v. , . "_i saw the holy city, new jerusalem, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband_," rev. xxi. . the new jerusalem signifies the new church of the lord, as may be seen in the apocalypse revealed, n. , . "_the angel said to john, come, and i will shew thee the bride, the lamb's wife: and he shewed him the holy city, new jerusalem_," rev. xxi. , . "_the time of the marriage of the lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. blessed are those who are called to the supper of the marriage of the lamb_," rev. xix. , . the bridegroom, whom the five prepared virgins went forth to meet, and with whom they entered in to the marriage, matt. xxv. - , denotes the lord; as is evident from verse , where it is said, "watch, therefore; because ye know neither the day nor the hour in which the son of man will come:" not to mention many passages in the prophets. . ii. the lord is also called a father, and the church, a mother. the lord is called a father, as appears from the following passages: "_unto us a child is born; unto us a son is given; and his name shall be called, wonderful, counsellor, god, the father of eternity, the prince of peace_," isaiah ix. . "_thou, jehovah, art our father, our redeemer; thy name is from an age_," isaiah lxiii. . again, "_jesus said, he that seeth me, seeth the father that sent me_," john xii. . "_if ye have known me, ye have known my father also; and henceforth ye have known him, and have seen him_," john xiv. . "_philip said, shew us the father: jesus said unto him, he that seeth me, seeth the father; how sayest them then, shew us the father_?" john xiv. , . "_jesus said, the father and i are one_," john x. . "_all things that the father hath are mine_," john xvi. ; chap. xvii. . "_the father is in me, and i in the father_," john x. ; chap, xiv , , . that the lord and his father are one, as the soul and the body are one, and that god the father descended from heaven, and assumed the human (nature or principle), to redeem and save men, and that his human nature is what is called the son, and is said to be sent into the world, has been fully shewn in the apocalypse revealed. . the church is called a mother, as appears from the following passages: "_jehovah said, contend with your mother: she is not my wife, and i am not her husband_." hosea ii. , . "_thou art thy mother's daughter, that loatheth her husband_," ezek. xvi. . "_where is the hill of thy mother's divorcement, whom i have put away_?" isaiah l. . "_thy mother was like a vine planted by the waters, bearing fruit_," ezek. xix. ; speaking of the jewish church. "_jesus stretching out his hand to the disciples, said, my mother and my brethren are those who hear the word of god, and do it_," luke viii. ; matt. xii. , ; mark iii. - : the lord's disciples means the church. "_there was standing at the cross of jesus his mother: and jesus seeing his mother and the disciple whom he loved, standing by, he saith unto his mother, woman, behold thy son; and he saith to the disciple, behold thy mother: wherefore from that hour the disciple took her unto his own_," john xix. - . this implies, that the lord did not acknowledge mary as a mother, but the church; therefore he calls her woman, and the disciple's mother. the reason why the lord called her the mother of this disciple, or of john, was, because john represented the church as to the goods of charity, which are the church in real effect; therefore it is said, he took her unto his own. peter represented truth and faith, james charity, and john the works of charity, as may be seen in the apocalypse revealed, n. , , , , ; and the twelve disciples together represented the church as to all its constituent principles, as may be seen, ibid, n. , , , . . iii. the offspring derived from the lord as a husband and father, and from the church as a wife and mother, are all spiritual; and in the spiritual sense of the word are understood by sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, sons-in-law, and daughters-in-law, and by other names of relations. that no other than spiritual offspring are born of the lord by the church, is a proposition which wants no demonstration, because reason sees it to be self-evident; for it is the lord from whom every good and truth proceeds, and it is the church which receives them and brings them into effect; and all the spiritual things of heaven and the church relate to good and truth. hence it is that sons and daughters in the word, in its spiritual sense, signify truths and goods: sons, truths conceived in the spiritual man, and born in, the natural; and daughters, goods in like manner: therefore those who are regenerated by the lord, are called in the word sons of god, sons of the kingdom, born of him; and the lord called the disciples sons: the male child, that the woman brought forth, and that was caught up to god, rev. xii. , has a similar signification; see apocalypse revealed, n. . since daughters signify goods of the church, therefore in the word mention is so frequently made of the daughter of zion, the daughter of jerusalem, the daughter of israel, and the daughter of judah; by whom is signified not any daughter, but the affection of good, which is an affection of the church; see also apocalypse revealed, n. . the lord also calls those who are of his church, brethren and sisters; see matt. xii. , ; chap. xxv. ; chap, xxviii. ; mark iii. ; luke viii. . . iv. the spiritual offspring, which are born from the lord's marriage with the church, are truths and goods; truths, from which are derived understanding, perception, and all thought; and goods, from which are derived love, charity, and all affection. the reason why truths and goods are the spiritual offspring, which are born of the lord by the church, is, because the lord is essential good and essential truth, and these in him are not two but one; also, because nothing can proceed from the lord but what is in him, and what he is. that the marriage of truth and good proceeds from the lord, and flows in with men, and is received according to the state of the mind and life of those who are of the church, was shewn in the foregoing section on the marriage of good and truth. the reason why by means of truths a man has understanding, perception, and all thought, and by means of goods has love, charity, and all affection, is, because all things of man relate to truth and good; and there are two constituents of man--the will and the understanding; the will being the receptacle of good, and the understanding of truth. that love, charity and affection, belong to the will, and that perception and thought belong to the understanding, may appear without the aid of light arising from demonstration; for there is a light derived from the understanding itself by which these propositions are seen to be self-evident. . v. from the marriage of good and truth, which proceeds from the lord in the way of influx, man (_homo_) receives truth, and the lord conjoins good thereto; and thus the church is formed by the lord with man. the reason why a man receives truth by virtue of the good and truth which proceed as a one from the lord, is, because he receives this as his own, and appropriates it to himself as his own; for he thinks what is true as from himself, and in like manner speaks from what is true; and this takes place because truth is in the light of the understanding, and hence he sees it: and whatever he sees in himself, or in his mind, he knows not whence it is; for he does not see the influx, as he sees those objects which strike upon the bodily vision; hence he supposes that it is himself. that it should appear thus, is granted by the lord to him, in order that he may be a man (_homo_), and that he may have a reciprocal principle of conjunction: add to this, that every man is born a faculty of knowing, understanding, and growing wise; and this faculty receives truths, whereby it has knowledges, intelligence, and wisdom. and since the female was created through the truth of the male, and is formed into the love thereof more and more after marriage, it follows, that she also receives the husband's truth in herself, and conjoins it with her own good. . the lord adjoins and conjoins good to the truths which a man receives, because he cannot take good as of himself, it being no object of his sight, as it does not relate to light, but to heat, which is felt and not seen; therefore when a man sees truth in his thought, he seldom reflects upon the good which flows into it from the love of the will, and which gives it life: neither does a wife reflect upon the good belonging to her, but upon the husband's inclination towards her, which is according to the assent of his understanding to wisdom: the good which belongs to her from the lord, she applies, without the husband's knowing any thing respecting such application. from these considerations then it plainly appears, that a man receives truth from the lord, and that the lord adjoins good to that truth, according to the application of truth to use; consequently as the man is desirous to think, and thence to live, wisely. . the church is thus formed with a man by the lord, because in such case he is in conjunction with the lord, in good from him, and in truth as from himself; thus he is in the lord, and the lord in him, according to the lord's words in john xv. :, . the case is the same, if instead of good we say charity, and instead of truth faith; because good is of charity, and truth is of faith. . vi. the husband does not represent the lord, and the wife the church; because both together, the husband and the wife, constitute the church. it is a common saying in the church, that as the lord is the head of the church, so the husband is the head of the wife; whence it should follow, that the husband represents the lord, and the wife the church: but the lord is the head of the church; and man (_homo_), the man (_vir_) and the woman, are the church; and still more the husband and wife together. with these the church is first implanted in the man, and through him in the wife; because the man with his understanding receives the truth of the church, and the wife from the man; but if it be _vice versa_, it is not according to order: sometimes, however, this is the case; but then it is with men, who either are not lovers of wisdom, and consequently are not of the church, or who are in a servile dependence on the will of their wives. something on this subject may be seen in the preliminary relations, n. . . vii. therefore there is not a correspondence of the husband with the lord and of the wife with the church, in the marriages of the angels in the heavens and of men on earth. this follows as a consequence from what has just been said; to which, nevertheless, it may be expedient to add, that it appears as if truth was the primary constituent of the church, because it is first in respect to time: from this appearance, the prelates of the church have exalted faith, which is of truth, above charity, which is of good; in like manner the learned have exalted thought, which is of the understanding, above affection, which is of the will; therefore the knowledge of what the good of charity and the affection of the will are, lies deeply buried as in a tomb, while some even cast earth upon them, as upon the dead, to prevent their rising again. that the good of charity, notwithstanding, is the primary constituent of the church, may be plainly seen by those who have not closed the way from heaven to their understandings, by confirmations in favor of faith, as the sole constituent of the church, and in favor of thought, as the sole constituent of man. now as the good of charity is from the lord, and the truth of faith is with a man as from himself, and these two principles cause conjunction of the lord with man, and of man with the lord, such as is understood by the lord's words, that he is in them, and they in him, john xv. , , it is evident that this conjunction constitutes the church. . viii. but there is a correspondence with conjugial love, semination, prolification, the love of infants, and similar things which exist in marriages and are derived from them. these, however, are arcana of too deep a nature to enter the understanding with any degree of light, unless preceded by knowledge concerning correspondence; nor is it possible, if this knowledge be wanting, so to explain them as to make them comprehensible. but what correspondence is, and that it exists between natural things and spiritual, is abundantly shown in the apocalypse revealed, also in the arcana coelestia, and specifically in the doctrine of the new jerusalem concerning the sacred scripture, and particularly in a memorable relation respecting it in the following pages. before some knowledge on this subject is acquired, we will only present to the intellectual view, as in a shade, these few particulars: conjugial love corresponds to the affection of genuine truth, its chastity, purity, and sanctity; semination corresponds to the potency of truth; prolification corresponds to the propagation of truth; and the love of infants corresponds to the defence of truth and good. now as truth with a man (_homo_) appears as his own, and good is adjoined thereto from the lord, it is evident that these correspondences are those of the natural or external man with the spiritual or internal man: but some degree of light will be reflected on this subject from the memorable relations which follow. . ix. the word is the medium of conjunction, because it is from the lord, and therefore is the lord. the word is the medium of conjunction of the lord with man (_homo_), and of man with the lord, because in its essence it is divine truth united to divine good, and divine good united to divine truth: that this union exists in every part of the word in its celestial and spiritual sense, may be seen in the apocalypse revealed, n. , , , ; whence it follows, that the word is the perfect marriage of good and truth; and as it is from the lord, and what is from him is also himself, it follows, that while a man reads the word, and collects truths out of it, the lord adjoins good. for a man does not see the goods which affect him in reading; because he reads the word from the understanding, and the understanding acquires thence only such things as are of its own nature, that is, truths. that good is adjoined thereto from the lord, is made sensible to the understanding from the delight which flows in during a state of illustration; but this takes place interiorly with those only who read the word to the end that they may become wise; and such persons are desirous of learning the genuine truths contained in the word, and thereby of forming the church in themselves; whereas those who read the word only with a view to gain the reputation of learning, and those also who read it from an opinion that the mere reading or hearing it inspires faith and conduces to salvation, do not receive any good from the lord; for the end proposed by the latter is to save themselves by the mere expressions contained in the word, in which there is nothing of truth; and the end proposed by the former is to be distinguished for their learning; which end has no conjunction with any spiritual good, but only with the natural delight arising from worldly glory. as the word is the medium of conjunction, it is therefore called the old and the new covenant: a covenant signifies conjunction. . x. the church is from the lord, and exists with those who come to him and live according to his precepts. it is not denied at this day that the church is the lord's, and consequently that it is from the lord. the reason why it exists with those who come to him, is, because his church in that part of the globe which is called christian, is derived from the word; and the word is from him, and in such a manner from him, that it is himself, the divine truth being therein united to the divine good, and this also is the lord. this is meant by the word, "_which was with god, and which was god, from which men have life and light, and which was made flesh_," john i. - . moreover, the reason why the church exists with those who come to him, is, because it exists with those who believe in him; and to believe that he is god the saviour and redeemer, that he is jehovah our justice, that he is the door by which we are to enter into the sheepfold, that is, into the church, that he is the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one comes to the father but by him, that the father and he are one, besides many other particulars which he himself teaches; to believe these things, i say, is impossible for any one, except by influence from him; and the reason why this is impossible unless he be approached, is, because he is the god of heaven and earth, as he also teaches. who else is to be approached, and who else can be? the reason why the church exists with those who live according to his precepts, is, because there is conjunction with none else; for he says, "_he that hath my precepts, and doeth them, he it is that loveth me; and i will love him, and will make my abode with him: but he that doth not love me, doth not keep my precepts_," john xiv. - . love is conjunction; and conjunction with the lord is the church. . xi. conjugial love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man (_homo_). that conjugial love is according to the state of wisdom with man, has been often said above, and will be often repeated in the following pages: at present therefore we will show what wisdom is, and that it makes one with the church. "there are belonging to man knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom. knowledge relates to information; intelligence, to reason; and wisdom to life. wisdom considered in its fulness relates at the same time to information, to reason, and to life: information precedes, reason is formed by it, and wisdom by both; as is the case when a man lives rationally according to the truths which he knows. wisdom therefore relates to both reason and life at once; and it becomes (or is making) wisdom while it is a principle of reason and thence of life; but it is wisdom when it is made a principle of life and thence of reason. the most ancient people in this world acknowledged no other wisdom than the wisdom of life; which was the wisdom of those who were formerly called sophi: but the ancient people, who succeeded the most ancient, acknowledged the wisdom of reason as wisdom; and these were called philosophers. at this day, however, many call even knowledge, wisdom; for the learned, the erudite, and the mere sciolists, are called wise; thus wisdom has declined from its mountain-top to its valley. but it may be expedient briefly to shew what wisdom is in its rise, in its progress, and thence in its full state. the things relating to the church, which are called spiritual, reside in the inmost principles with man; those relating to the public weal, which are called things of a civil nature, hold a place below these; and those relating to science, to experience, and to art, which are called natural things, constitute their seat or basis. the reason why the things relating to the church, which are called spiritual, reside in the inmost principles with man, is, because they conjoin themselves with heaven, and by heaven with the lord; for no other things enter from the lord through heaven with man. the reason why the things relating to the public weal, which are called things of a civil nature, hold a place beneath spiritual things, is, because they have relation to the world, and conjoin themselves with it; for statutes, laws, and rules, are what bind men, so that a civil society and state may be composed of them in a well-connected order. the reason why the things relating to science, to experience, and to art, which are called natural, constitute their seat or basis, is, because they conjoin themselves closely with the five bodily senses; and these senses are the ultimates on which the interior principles of the mind and the inmost principles of the soul, as it were sit or rest. now as the things relating to the church, which are called spiritual, reside in the inmost principles, and as the things residing in the inmost principles constitute the head, and the succeeding things beneath them, which are called things of a civil nature, constitute the body, and the ultimate things, which are called natural, constitute the feet; it is evident, that while these three kinds of things follow in their order, a man is a perfect man; for in such case there is an influx like that of the things of the head into those of the body, and through the body into the feet; thus spiritual things flow into things of a civil nature, and through them into natural things. now as spiritual things are in the light of heaven, it is evident that by their light they illustrate the things which succeed in order, and by their heat, which is love, animate them; and when this is the case the man has wisdom. as wisdom is a principle of life, and thence of reason, as was said above, it may be asked, what is wisdom as a principle of life? in a summary view, it is to shun evils, because they are hurtful to the soul, to the public weal, and to the body; and it is to do goods, because they are profitable to the soul, to the public weal, and to the body. this is the wisdom which is meant by the wisdom to which conjugial love binds itself; for it binds itself thereto by shunning the evil of adultery as the pest of the soul, of the public weal, and of the body: and as this wisdom originates in spiritual things relating to the church, it follows, that conjugial love is according to the state of the church; because it is according to the state of wisdom with men. hereby also is understood what has been frequently said above, that so far as a man becomes spiritual, so far he is principled in love truly conjugial; for a man becomes spiritual by means of the spiritual things of the church." more observations respecting the wisdom with which conjugial love conjoins itself, may be seen below, n. - . . xii. and as the church is from the lord, conjugial love is also from him. as this follows as a consequence from what has been said above, it is needless to dwell upon the confirmation of it. moreover, that love truly conjugial is from the lord, all the angels of heaven testify; and also that this love is according to their state of wisdom, and that their state of wisdom is according to the state of the church with them. that the angels of heaven thus testify, is evident from the memorable relations annexed to the chapters, containing an account of what was seen and heard in the spiritual world. * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations. first. i was conversing on a time with two angels, one from the eastern heaven and the other from the southern; who perceiving me engaged in meditation on the arcana of wisdom relating to conjugial love, said, "are you at all acquainted with the schools of wisdom in our world?" i replied, "not as yet." and they said, "there are several; and those who love truths from spiritual affection, or because they are truths, and because they are the means of attaining wisdom, meet together on a given signal, and investigate and decide upon such questions as require deeper consideration than common." they then took me by the hand, saying, "follow us; and you shall see and hear: to-day the signal for meeting is given." i was led across a plain to a hill; and lo! at the foot of the hill was an avenue of palms continued even to its summit, which we entered and ascended: on the summit or top of the hill was a grove, the trees of which, on an elevated plot of ground, formed as it were a theatre, within which was a court paved with various colored stones: around it in a square form were placed seats, on which the lovers of wisdom were seated; and in the middle of the theatre was a table, on which was laid a sealed paper. those who sat on the seats invited us to sit down where there was room: and i replied, "i was led here by two angels to see and hear, and not to sit down." then those two angels went into the middle of the court to the table, and broke the seal of the paper, and read in the presence of those who were seated the arcana of wisdom written on the paper, which were now to be investigated and explained. they were written by angels of the third heaven, and let down upon the table. there were three arcana, first, what is the image of god, and what the likeness of god, into which man (_homo_) was created? second, why is not a man born into the knowledge of any love, when yet beasts and birds, from the highest to the lowest, are born into the knowledge of all their loves? third, what is signified by the tree of life, and what by the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and what by eating thereof? underneath was written, collect your opinions on these three questions into one decision, and write it on a new piece of paper, and lay it on this table, and we shall see it: if the decision, on examination, appear just and reasonable, each of you shall receive a prize of wisdom. having read the contents of the paper, the two angels withdrew, and were carried up into their respective heavens. then those who sat on the seats began to investigate and explain the arcana proposed to them, and delivered their sentiments in order; first those who sat on the north, next those on the west, afterwards those on the south, and lastly those on the east. they began with the first subject of inquiry, what is the image of god, and what the likeness of god, into which man was created? but before they proceeded, these words were read in the presence of them all out of the book of creation, "_god said, let us make man into our image, according to our likeness: and god created man into his image; into the image of god created he him_," gen. i. , . "_in the day that god created man, into the likeness of god made he him_," gen. v. . those who sat on the north spoke first, saying, "the image of god and the likeness of god are the two lives breathed into man by god, which are the life of the understanding; for it is written, '_jehovah god breathed into adam's nostril the soul of lives; and man became a living soul_,' gen. ii. ; into the nostrils denotes into the perception, that the will of good and the understanding of truth, and thereby the soul of lives, was in him; and since life from god was breathed into him, the image and likeness of god signify integrity derived from wisdom and love, and from justice and judgment in him." these sentiments were favored by those who sat to the west; only they added, that the state of integrity then breathed in from god is continually breathed into every man since; but that it is a man as in a receptacle; and a man, as he is a receptacle, is an image and likeness of god. after this, the third in order, who were those who were seated on the south, delivered their sentiments as follows: "an image of god and a likeness of god are two distinct things; but in man they are united from creation; and we see, as from an interior light, that the image of god maybe destroyed by man, but not the likeness of god. this appears as clear as the day from this consideration, that adam retained the likeness of god after that he had lost the image of god; for it is written after the curse, '_behold the man is as one of us, knowing good and evil_,' gen. iii. ; and afterwards he is called a likeness of god, and not an image of god, gen. v. . but we will leave to our associates who sit on the east, and are thence in superior light, to say what is properly meant by an image of god, and what by a likeness of god." and then, after silence was obtained, those who sat on the east arose from their seats, and looked up to the lord, and afterwards sat down again, and thus began: "an image of god is a receptacle of god; and since god is love itself and wisdom itself, an image of god is a receptacle of love and wisdom from god in it; but a likeness of god is a perfect likeness and full appearance, as if love and wisdom are in a man, and thence altogether as his; for a man has no other sensation than that he loves and is wise from himself, or that he wills good and understands truth from himself; when nevertheless nothing of all this is from himself, but from god. god alone loves from himself and is wise from himself; because god is love itself and wisdom itself. the likeness or appearance that love and wisdom, or good and truth, are in a man as his, causes a man to be a man, and makes him capable of being conjoined to god, and thereby of living to eternity: from which consideration it follows, that a man is a man from this circumstance, that he can will good and understand truth altogether as from himself, and yet know and believe that it is from god; for as he knows and believes this, god places his image in him, which could not be if he believed it was from himself and not from god." as they said this, being overpowered with zeal derived from the love of truth, they thus continued: "how can a man receive any thing of love and wisdom, and retain it, and reproduce it, unless he feel it as his own? and how can there be conjunction with god by love and wisdom, unless a man have some reciprocity of conjunction? for without such a reciprocity conjunction is impossible; and the reciprocity of conjunction is, that a man should love god, and enjoy the things which are of god, as from himself, and yet believe that it is from god. also, how can a man live eternally, unless he be conjoined to an eternal god? consequently how can a man be a man without such a likeness of god in him?" these words met with the approbation of the whole assembly; and they said, let this conclusive decision be made from them, "a man is a recipient of god, and a recipient of god is an image of god; and since god is love itself and wisdom itself, a man is a recipient of those principles; and a recipient becomes an image of god in proportion to reception; and a man is a likeness of god from this circumstance, that he feels in himself that the things which are of god are in him as his own; but still from that likeness he is only so far an image of god, as he acknowledges that love and wisdom, or good and truth, are not his own in him, and consequently are not from him, but are only in god, and consequently from god." . after this, they entered upon the next subject of discussion, why is not a man born into the knowledge of any love, when yet beasts and birds, from the highest to the lowest, are born into the knowledge of all their loves? they first confirmed the truth of the proposition by various considerations; as in regard to a man, that he is born into no knowledge, not even into the knowledge of conjugial love; and they inquired, and were informed by attentive examiners, that an infant from connate knowledge cannot even move itself to the mother's breast, but must be moved thereto by the mother or nurse; and that it knows only how to suck, and this in consequence of habit acquired by continual suction in the womb; and that afterwards it does not know how to walk, or to articulate any human expression; no, nor even to express by its tone of voice the affection of its love, as the beasts do: and further, that it does not know what is salutary for it in the way of food, as all the beasts do, but catches at whatever falls in its way, whether it be clean or unclean, and puts it into its mouth. the examiners further declared, that a man without instruction is an utter stranger to every thing relating to the sexes and their connection; and that neither virgins nor young men have any knowledge thereof without instruction from others, notwithstanding their being educated in various sciences: in a word, a man is born corporeal as a worm; and he remains such, unless he learns to know, to understand, and to be wise, from others. after this, they gave abundant proofs that beasts, from the highest to the lowest, as the animals of the earth, the fowls of the air, reptiles, fishes, the small creatures called insects, are born into all the knowledges of the loves of their life, as into the knowledge of all things relating to nourishment, to habitation, to the love of the sex and prolification, and to the rearing of their young. this they continued by many wonderful things which they recollected to have seen, heard, and read, in the natural world, (so they called our world, in which they had formerly lived), in which not representative but real beasts exist. when the truth of the proposition was thus fully proved they applied all the powers of their minds to search out and discover the ends and causes which might serve to unfold and explain this arcanum; and they all said, that the divine wisdom must needs have ordained these things, to the end that a man, may be a man, and a beast a beast; and thus, that the imperfection of a man at his birth becomes his perfection, and the perfection of a beast at his birth is his imperfection. . those on the north then began to declare their sentiments, and said, "a man is born without knowledges, to the end that he may receive them all; whereas supposing him to be born into knowledges, he could not receive any but those into which he was born, and in this case neither could he appropriate any to himself; which they illustrated by this comparison: a man at his first birth is like ground in which no seeds are implanted, but which nevertheless is capable of receiving all seeds, and of bringing them forth and fructifying them; whereas a beast is like ground already sown, and tilled with grasses and herbs, which receives no other seeds than what are sown in it, or if it received any it would choke them. hence it is, that a man requires many years to bring him to maturity of growth; during which time he is capable of being cultivated like ground, and of bringing forth as it were grain, flowers, and trees of every kind; whereas a beast arrives at maturity in a few years, during which no cultivation can produce any thing in him but what is born with him." afterwards, those on the west delivered their sentiments, and said, "a man is not born knowledge, as a beast is; but he is born faculty and inclination; faculty to know, and inclination to love; and he is born faculty not only to know but also to understand and be wise; he is likewise born the most perfect inclination to love not only the things relating to self and the world, but also those relating to god and heaven; consequently a man, by birth from his parents, is an organ which lives merely by the external senses, and at first by no internal senses, to the end that he may successively become a man, first natural, afterwards rational, and lastly spiritual; which could not be the case if he was born into knowledges and loves, as the beasts are: for connate knowledges and affections set bounds to that progression; whereas connate faculty and inclination set no such bounds; therefore a man is capable of being perfected, in knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom to eternity." those on the south next took up the debate, and expressed their sentiments as follows: "it is impossible for a man to take any knowledge from himself, since he has no connate knowledge; but he may take it from others; and as he cannot take any knowledge from himself, so neither can he take any love; for where there is no knowledge there is no love; knowledge and love being undivided companions, and no more capable of separation than will and understanding, or affection and thought; yea, no more than essence and form: therefore in proportion as a man takes knowledge from others, so love joins itself thereto as its companion. the universal love which joins itself is the love of knowing, of understanding, and of growing wise; this love is peculiar to man alone, and not to any beast, and flows in from god. we agree with our companions from the west, that a man is not born into any love, and consequently not into any knowledge; but that he is only born into an inclination to love, and thence into a faculty to receive knowledges, not from himself but from others, that is, by others: we say, by others, because neither have these received any thing of knowledge from themselves, but from god. we agree also with our companions to the north, that a man is first born as ground, in which no seeds are sown, but which is capable of receiving all seeds, both useful and hurtful. to these considerations we add, that beasts are born into natural loves, and thereby into knowledges corresponding to them; and that still they do not know, think, understand, and enjoy any knowledges, but are led through them by their loves, almost as blind persons are led through the streets by dogs, for as to understanding they are blind; or rather like people walking in their sleep, who act from the impulse of blind knowledge, the understanding being asleep." lastly, those on the east declared their sentiments, and said, "we agree with our brethren in the opinions they have delivered, that a man knows nothing from himself, but from and by others, to the end that he may know and acknowledge that all knowledge, understanding, and wisdom, is from god; and that a man cannot otherwise be conceived, born, and generated of the lord, and become an image and likeness of him; for he becomes an image of the lord by acknowledging and believing, that he has received and does receive from the lord all the good of love and charity, and all the truth of wisdom and faith, and not the least portion thereof from himself; and he becomes a likeness of the lord by his being sensible of those principles in himself, as if they were from himself. this he is sensible of, because he is not born into knowledges, but receives them; and what he receives, appears to him as if it was from himself. this sensation is given him by the lord, to the end that he may be a man and not a beast; since by willing, thinking, loving, knowing, understanding, and growing wise, as from himself, he receives knowledges, and exalts them into intelligence, and by the use thereof into wisdom; thus the lord conjoins man to himself, and man conjoins himself to the lord. this could not have been the case, unless it had been provided by the lord, that man should be born in total ignorance." when they had finished speaking, it was the desire of all present, that a conclusion should be formed from the sentiments which had been expressed; and they agreed upon the following: "that a man is born into no knowledge, to the end that he may come into all knowledge, and may advance into intelligence, and thereby into wisdom, and that he is born into no love, to the intent that he may come into all love, by application of the knowledges from intelligence, and into love to the lord by love towards his neighbour, and may thereby be conjoined to the lord, and by such conjunction be made a man, and live for ever." . after this they took the paper, and read the third subject of investigation, which was, what is dignified by the tree of life, what by the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and what by eating thereof? and all the others intreated as a favor, that those who were from the east would unfold this arcanum, because it required a more than ordinary depth of understanding, and because those who were from the east are in flaming light, that is, in the wisdom of love, this wisdom being understood by the garden of eden, in which those two trees were placed. they said, "we will declare our sentiments; but as man does not take any thing from himself, but from the lord, therefore we will speak from him; but yet from ourselves as of ourselves:" and then they continued, "a tree signifies a man, and the fruit thereof the good of life; hence the tree of life signifies a man living from god, or god living in man; and since love and wisdom, and charity and faith, or good and truth, constitute the life of god in man, therefore these are signified by the tree of life, and hence man has eternal life: the like is signified by the tree of life, of which it will be given to eat, rev. ii. ; chap xxii. , . the tree of the knowledge of good and evil signifies a man believing that he lives from himself and not from god; thus that in man love and wisdom, charity and faith, that is, good and truth, are his and not god's; believing this, because he thinks and wills, and speaks and acts to all appearance, as from himself: and as a man from this faith persuades himself, that god has implanted himself, or infused his divine into him, therefore the serpent said, '_god doth know, in the day that ye eat of the fruit of that tree, your eyes will be opened, and ye will be as god, knowing good and evil_,' gen. iii. . eating of those trees signifies reception and appropriation; eating of the tree of life, the reception of life eternal, and eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the reception of damnation; therefore also both adam and his wife, together with the serpent, were cursed: the serpent means the devil as to self-love and the conceit of his own intelligence. this love is the possessor of that tree; and the men who are in conceit, grounded in that love, are those trees. those persons, therefore, are grievously mistaken who believe that adam was wise and did good from himself, and that this was his state of integrity; when yet adam himself was cursed by reason of that belief; for this is signified by eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; therefore he then fell from the state of integrity in which he had been, in consequence of believing that he was wise and did good from god and not at all from himself; for this is meant by eating of the tree of life. the lord alone, when he was in the world, was wise and did good from himself; because the essential divine from birth was in him and was his; therefore also from his own ability he was made the redeemer and saviour." from all these considerations they came to this conclusion, "that by the tree of life, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and eating thereof, is signified that life for man is god in him, and that in this case he has heaven and eternal life; but that death for man is the persuasion and belief, that life for him is not god but self; whence he has hell and eternal death, which is condemnation." . after this they looked into the paper left by the angels upon the table, and saw written underneath, collect your opinions on these three questions into one decision. then they collected them, and saw that they cohered in one series, and that the series or decision was this, "that man is created to receive love and wisdom from god, and yet to all appearance as from himself; and this for the sake of reception and conjunction: and that therefore a man is not born into any love, or into any knowledge, and also not into any ability of loving and growing wise from himself; therefore if he ascribes all the good of love and truth of wisdom to god, he becomes a living man; but if he ascribes them to himself, he becomes a dead man." these words they wrote on a new piece of paper, and placed it on the table: and lo! on a sudden the angels appeared in bright light, and carried the paper away into heaven; and after it was read there, those who sat on the seats heard these words from thence, "well, well;" and instantly there appeared a single angel as it were flying from heaven, with two wings about his feet, and two about his temples, having in his hand prizes, consisting of robes, caps, and wreaths of laurel; and he alighted on the ground, and gave those who sat on the north robes of an opaline color; those who sat on the west robes of scarlet color; those who sat on the south caps whose borders were ornamented with bindings of gold and pearls, and which on the left side upwards were set with diamonds cut in the form of flowers; but to those who sat to the east he gave wreaths of laurel, intermixed with rubies and sapphires. then all of them, adorned with their respective prizes, went home from the school of wisdom; and when they shewed themselves to their wives, their wives came to meet them, being distinguished also with ornaments presented to them from heaven; at which the husbands wondered. . the second memorable relation. on a time when i was meditating on conjugial love, lo! there appeared at a distance two naked infants with baskets in their hands, and turtledoves flying around them; and on a nearer view, they seemed as if they were naked, handsomely ornamented with garlands; chaplets of flowers decorated their heads, and wreaths of lilies and roses of a hyacinthine blue, hanging obliquely from the shoulders to the loins, adorned their bosoms; and round about both of them there was as it were a common band woven of small leaves interspersed with olives. but when they came nearer, they did not appear as infants, or naked, but as two persons in the prime of their age, wearing cloaks and tunics of shining silk, embroidered with the most beautiful flowers: and when they were near me, there breathed forth from heaven through them a vernal warmth, attended with an odoriferous fragrance, like what arises from gardens and fields in the time of spring. they were two married partners from heaven, and they accosted me; and because i was musing on what i had just seen, they inquired, "what did you see?" and when i told them that at first they appeared to me as naked infants, afterwards as infants decorated with garlands, and lastly as grown up persons in embroidered garments, and that instantly i experienced a vernal warmth with its delights, they smiled pleasantly, and said, "in the way we did not seem to ourselves as infants, or naked, or adorned with garlands, but constantly in the same appearance which we now have: thus at a distance was represented our conjugial love; its state of innocence by our seeming like naked infants, its delights by garlands, and the same delights now by our cloaks and tunics being embroidered with flowers; and as you said that, as we approached, a vernal warmth breathed on you, attended with its pleasant fragrance as from a garden, we will explain to you the reason of all this." they said, "we have now been married partners for ages, and constantly in the prime of our age in which you now see us: our first state was like the first state of a virgin and a youth, when they enter into consociation by marriage; and we then believed, that this state was the very essential blessedness of our life; but we were informed by others in our heaven, and have since perceived ourselves, that this was a state of heat not tempered by light; and that it is successively tempered, in proportion as the husband is perfected in wisdom, and the wife loves that wisdom in the husband; and that this is effected by and according to the uses which each, by mutual aid, affords to society; also that delights succeed according to the temperature of heat and light; or of wisdom and its love. the reason why on our approach there breathed on you as it were a vernal warmth, is, because conjugial love and that warmth in our heaven act in unity; for warmth with us is love; and the light, wherewith warmth is united, is wisdom; and use is as it were the atmosphere which contains each in its bosom. what are heat and light without that which contains them? in like manner, what are love and wisdom without their use? in such case there is nothing conjugial in them, because the subject is wanting in which they should exist to produce it. in heaven where there is vernal warmth, there is love truly conjugial; because the vernal principle exists only where warmth is equally united to light, or where warmth and light are in equal proportions; and it is our opinion, that as warmth is delighted with light, and _vice versa_, so love is delighted with wisdom, and wisdom in its turn with love." he further added, "with us in heaven there is perpetual light, and on no occasion do the shades of evening prevail, still less is there darkness; because our sun does not set and rise like yours, but remains constantly in a middle altitude between the zenith and the horizon, which, as you express it, is at an elevation of degrees. hence, the heat and light proceeding from our sun cause perpetual spring, and a perpetual vernal warmth inspires those with whom love is united with wisdom in just proportion; and our lord, by the eternal union of heat and light, breathes nothing but uses: hence also come the germinations of your earth, and the connubial associations of your birds and animals in the spring; for the vernal warmth opens their interiors even to the inmost, which are called their souls, and affects them, and communicates to them its conjugial principle, and causes their principle of prolification to come into its delights, in consequence of a continual tendency to produce fruits of use, which use is the propagation of their kind. but with men (_homines_) there is a perpetual influx of vernal warmth from the lord; wherefore they are capable of enjoying marriage delights at all times, even in the midst of winter; for the males of the human race were created to be recipients of light, that is, of wisdom from the lord, and the females to be recipients of heat, that is, of the love of the wisdom of the male from the lord. hence then it is, that, as we approached, there breathed on you a vernal warmth attended with an odoriferous fragrance, like what arises from gardens and fields in the spring." as he said this, he gave me his right hand, and conducted me to houses inhabited by married partners in a like prime of their age with himself and his partner; and said, "these wives, who now seem like young virgins, were in the world infirm old women; and their husbands, who now seem in the spring of youth, were in the world decrepit old men; and all of them were restored by the lord to this prime of their age, because they mutually loved each other, and from religious motives shunned adulteries as enormous sins:" and he added, "no one knows the blessed delights of conjugial love, unless he rejects the horrid delights of adultery; and no one can reject these delights, unless he is under the influence of wisdom from the lord; and no one is under the influence of wisdom from the lord, unless he performs uses from the love of uses." i also saw on this occasion their house utensils, which were all in celestial forms, and glittered with gold, which had a flaming appearance from the rubies with which it was studded. * * * * * on the chaste principle and the non-chaste. . as we are yet only at the entrance of our subject respecting conjugial love specifically considered, and as conjugial love cannot be known specifically, except in a very indistinct and obscure manner, unless its opposite, which is the unchaste principle, also in some measure appear; and as this unchaste principle appears in some measure, or in a shade, when the chaste principle is described together with the non-chaste, non-chastity being only a removal of what is unchaste from what is chaste; therefore we will now proceed to treat of the chaste principle and the non-chaste. but the unchaste principle, which is altogether opposite to the chaste, is treated of in the latter part of this work, entitled adulterous love and its sinful pleasures, where it is fully described with all its varieties. but what the unchaste principle is, and what the non-chaste, and with what persons each of them prevails, shall be illustrated in the following order: i. _the chaste principle and the non-chaste are predicated only of marriages and of such things as relate to marriages._ ii. _the chaste principle is predicated only of monogamical marriages, or of the marriage of one man with one wife._ iii. _the christian conjugial principle alone is chaste._ iv. _love truly conjugial is essential chastity._ v. _all the delights of love truly conjugial, even the ultimate, are chaste._ vi. _with those who are made spiritual by the lord, conjugial love is more and more purified and rendered chaste._ vii. _the chastity of marriage exists by a total renunciation of whoredoms from a principle of religion._ viii. _chastity cannot he predicated of infants, or of boys and girls, or of young men and virgins before they feel in themselves the love of the sex._ ix. _chastity cannot be predicated of eunuchs so born, or of eunuchs so made._ x. _chastity cannot be predicated of those who do not believe adulteries to be evils in regard to religion; and still less of those who do not believe them to be hurtful to society._ xi. _chastity cannot be predicated of those who abstain from adulteries only for various external reasons._ xii. _chastity cannot be predicated of those who believe marriages to be unchaste._ xiii. _chastity cannot be predicated of those who have renounced marriage by vows of perpetual celibacy, unless there be and remain in them the love of a life truly conjugial._ xiv. _a state of marriage is to be preferred to a state of celibacy._ we will now proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. the chaste principle and the non-chaste are predicated only of marriages and of such things as relate to marriages. the reason of this is, because, as will be shewn presently, love truly conjugial is essential chastity; and the love opposite to it, which is called adulterous, is essential unchastity; so far therefore as any one is purified from the latter love, so far he is chaste; for so far the opposite, which is destructive of chastity, is taken away; whence it is evident that the purity of conjugial love is what is called chastity. nevertheless there is a conjugial love which is not chaste, and yet it is not unchastity; as is the case with married partners, who, for various external reasons, abstain from the effects of lasciviousness so as not to think about them; howbeit, if that love is not purified in their spirits, it is still not chaste; its form is chaste, but it has not in it a chaste essence. . the reason why the chaste principle and the non-chaste are predicated of such things as relate to marriages, is, because the conjugial principle is inscribed on both sexes from inmost principles to ultimates; and a man's quality as to his thoughts and affections, and consequently as to his bodily actions and behaviour, is according thereto. that this is the case, appears more evidently from such as are unchaste. the unchaste principle abiding in their minds is heard from the tone of their voice in conversation, and from their applying whatever is said, even though it be chaste, to wanton and loose ends; (the tone of the voice in conversation is grounded in the will-affection, and the conversation itself is grounded in the thought of the understanding;) which is a proof that the will and the understanding, with everything belonging to them, consequently the whole mind, and thence everything belonging to the body, from inmost principles to ultimates, abound with what is unchaste. i have been informed by the angels, that, with the greatest hypocrites, the unchaste principle is perceivable from hearing their conversation, however chastely they may talk, and also is made sensible from the sphere that issues from them; which is a further proof that unchastity resides in the inmost principles of their minds, and thence in the inmost principles of their bodies, and that the latter principles are exteriorly covered like a shell painted with figures of various colors. that a sphere of lasciviousness issues forth from the unchaste, is manifest from the statutes prescribed to the sons of israel, ordaining that everything should be unclean that was touched even by the hand of those who were defiled by such unchaste persons. from these considerations it may be concluded that the case is similar in regard to the chaste, viz., that with them everything is chaste from inmost principles to ultimates, and that this is an effect of the chastity of conjugial love. hence it is, that in the world it is said, "to the pure all things are pure, and to the defiled all things are defiled." . ii. the chaste principle is predicated only of monogamical marriages, or of the marriage of one man with one wife. the reason of this is, because with them conjugial love does not reside in the natural man, but enters into the spiritual man, and successively opens to itself a way to the essential spiritual marriage, or the marriage of good and truth, which is its origin, and conjoins itself therewith; for that love enters according to the increase of wisdom, which is according to the implantation of the church from the lord, as has been abundantly shewn above. this cannot be effected with polygamists; for they divide conjugial love; and this love when divided, is not unlike the love of the sex, which in itself is natural; but on this subject something worthy of attention may be seen in the section on polygamy. . iii. the christian conjugial principle alone is chaste. this is, because love truly conjugial keeps pace with the state of the church in man (_homo_), and because the state of the church is from the lord, as has been shewn in the foregoing section, n. , , and elsewhere; also because the church in its genuine truths is in the word, and the lord is there present in those truths. from these considerations it follows, that the chaste conjugial principle exists nowhere but in the christian world, and still that there is a possibility of its existing elsewhere. by the christian conjugial principle we mean the marriage of one man with one wife. that this conjugial principle is capable of being ingrafted into christians, and of being transplanted hereditarily into the offspring from parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, and that hence both the faculty and the inclination to grow wise in the things of the church and of heaven may become connate, will be seen in its proper place. christians, if they marry more wives than one, commit not only natural but also spiritual adultery: this will be shewn in the section on polygamy. . iv. love truly conjugial is essential chastity. the reasons for this are, . because it is from the lord, and corresponds to the marriage of the lord and the church. . because it descends from the marriage of good and truth. . because it is spiritual, in proportion as the church exists with man (_homo_). . because it is the foundation and head of all celestial and spiritual loves. . because it is the orderly seminary of the human race, and thereby of the angelic heaven. . because on this account it also exists with the angels of heaven, and gives birth with them to spiritual offspring, which are love and wisdom. . and because its uses are thus more excellent than the other uses of creation. from these considerations it follows, that love truly conjugial, viewed from its origin and in its essence, is pure and holy, so that it may be called purity and holiness, consequently essential chastity: but that nevertheless it is not altogether pure, either with men or angels, may be seen below in article vi, n. . . v. all the delights of love truly conjugial, even the ultimate, are chaste. this follows from what has been above explained, that love truly conjugial is essential chastity, and from the considerations that delights constitute its life. that the delights of this love ascend and enter heaven, and in the way pass through the delights of the heavenly loves, in which the angels of heaven are principled; also, that they conjoin themselves with the delights of the conjugial love of the angels, has been mentioned above. moreover, i have heard it declared by the angels, that they perceive those delights with themselves to be exalted and filled, while they ascend from chaste marriages on the earths: and when some by-standers, who were unchaste, inquired concerning the ultimate delights whether they were chaste, they assented and said, "how should it be otherwise? are not these the delights of true conjugial love in their fulness?" the origin, nature, and quality of the delights of this love, may be seen above, n. : and also in the memorable relations, especially those which follow. . vi. with those who are made spiritual by the lord, conjugial love is more and more purified and rendered chaste. the reasons for this are, . because the first love, by which is meant the love previous to the nuptials and immediately after them, partakes somewhat of the love of the sex, and thus of the ardor belonging to the body not as yet moderated by the love of the spirit. . because a man (_homo_) from natural is successively made spiritual; for he becomes spiritual in proportion as his rational principle, which is the medium between heaven and the world, begins to drive a soul from influx out of heaven, which is the case so far as it is affected and delighted with wisdom; concerning which wisdom see above, n. ; and in proportion as this is effected, in the same proportion his mind is elevated into a superior _aura_, which is the continent of celestial light and heat, or, what is the same, of the wisdom and love in which the angels are principled; for heavenly light acts in unity with wisdom, and heavenly heat with love; and in proportion as wisdom and the love thereof increase, with married pairs, in the same proportion conjugial love is purified with them; and as this is effected successively, it follows that conjugial love is rendered more and more chaste. this spiritual purification may be compared with the purification of natural spirits, which is effected by the chemists, and is called defecation, rectification, castigation, acution, decantation, and sublimation; and wisdom purified may be compared with alcohol, which is a highly rectified spirit. . now as spiritual wisdom in itself is of such a nature that it becomes more and more warmed with the love of growing wise, and by virtue of this love increases to eternity; and as this is effected in proportion as it is perfected by a kind of defecation, castigation, rectification, acution, decantation, and sublimation, and this by elevating and abstracting the intellect from the fallacies of the senses, and the will from the allurements of the body; it is evident that conjugial love, whose parent is wisdom, is in like manner rendered successively more and more pure, and thereby chaste. that the first state of love between married partners is a state of heat not yet tempered by light; but that it is successively tempered in proportion as the husband is perfected in wisdom, and the wife loves it in her husband, may be seen in the memorable relation, n. . . it is however to be observed, that there is no conjugial love altogether chaste or pure either with men (_homines_) or with angels; there is still somewhat not chaste or not pure which adjoins or subjoins itself thereto; but this has a different origin from that which gives birth to what is unchaste: for with the angels the chaste principle is above and the non-chaste beneath, and there is as it were a door with a hinge interposed by the lord, which is opened by determination, and is carefully prevented from standing open, lest the one principle should pass into the other, and they should mix together: for the natural principle of man from his birth is defiled and fraught with evils; whereas his spiritual principle is not so, because its birth is from the lord, for it is regeneration; and regeneration is a successive separation from the evils to which a man is naturally inclined. that no love with either men or angels is altogether pure, or can be pure; but that the end, purpose, or intention of the will, is principally regarded by the lord: and that therefore so far as a man is principled in a good end, purpose, or intention, and perseveres therein, so far he is initiated into purity, and so far he advances and approaches towards purity, may be seen above, n. . . vii. the chastity of marriage exists by a total renunciation of whoredoms from a principle of religion. the reason of this is, because chastity is the removal of unchastity; it being a universal law, that so far as any one removes evil, so far a capacity is given for good to succeed in its place; and further, so far as evil is hated, so far good is loved; and also _vice versa_; consequently, so far as whoredom is renounced, so far the chastity of marriage enters. that conjugial love is purified and rectified according to the renunciation of whoredoms, every one sees from common perception as soon as it is mentioned and heard; thus before confirmation; but as all have not common perception, it is of importance that the subject should also be illustrated in the way of proof by such considerations as may tend to confirm it. these considerations are, that conjugial love grows cold as soon as it is divided, and this coldness causes it to perish; for the heat of unchaste love extinguishes it, as two opposite heats cannot exist together, but one must needs reject the other and deprive it of its potency. whenever therefore the heat of conjugial love begins to acquire a pleasant warmth, and from a sensation of its delights to bud and flourish, like an orchard and garden in spring; the latter from the vernal temperament of light and heat from the sun of the natural world, but the former from the vernal temperament of light and heat from the sun of the spiritual world. . there is implanted in every man (_homo_) from creation, and consequently from his birth, an internal and an external conjugial principle; the internal is spiritual, and the external natural: a man comes first into the latter, and as he becomes spiritual, he comes into the former. if therefore he remains in the external or natural conjugial principle, the internal or spiritual conjugial principle is veiled or covered, until he knows nothing respecting it; yea, until he calls it an ideal shadow without a substance: but if a man becomes spiritual, he then begins to know something respecting it, and afterwards to perceive something of its quality, and successively to be made sensible of its pleasantness, agreeableness, and delights; and in proportion as this is the case, the veil or covering between the external and internal, spoken of above, begins to be attenuated, and afterwards as it were to melt, and lastly to be dissolved and dissipated. when this effect takes place, the external conjugial principle remains indeed; but it is continually purged and purified from its dregs by the internal; and this, until the external becomes as it were the face of the internal, and derives its delight from the blessedness which is in the internal, and at the same time its life, and the delights of its potency. such is the renunciation of whoredoms, by which the chastity of marriage exists. it may be imagined, that the external conjugial principle, which remains after the internal has separated itself from it, or it from itself, resembles the external principle not separated: but i have heard from the angels that they are altogether unlike; for that the external principle in conjunction with the internal, which they called the external of the internal, was void of all lasciviousness, because the internal cannot be lascivious, but only be delighted chastely; and that it imparts the same disposition to its external, wherein it is made sensible of its own delights: the case is altogether otherwise with the external separated from the internal; this they said, was lascivious in the whole and in every part. they compared the external conjugial principle derived from the internal to excellent fruit, whose pleasant taste and flavor insinuate themselves into its outward rind, and form this into correspondence with themselves; they compared it also to a granary, whose store is never diminished, but is continually recruited according to its consumption; whereas they compared the external principle, separate from the internal, to wheat in a winnowing machine, when it is put in motion about its axis; in which case the chaff only remains, which is dispersed by the wind; so it is with the conjugial principle, unless the adulterous principle be renounced. . the reason why the chastity of marriage does not exist by the renunciation of whoredoms, unless it be made from a principle of religion, is, because a man (_homo_) without religion is not spiritual, but remains natural; and if the natural man renounces whoredoms, still his spirit does not renounce them; and thus, although it seems to himself that he is chaste by such renunciation, yet nevertheless unchastity lies inwardly concealed like corrupt matter in a wound only outwardly healed. that conjugial love is according to the state of the church with man, may be seen above n. . more on this subject may be seen in the exposition of article xi. . viii. chastity cannot be predicated of infants, or of boys and girls, or of young men and virgins before they feel in themselves the love of the sex. this is because the chaste principle and the unchaste are predicated only of marriages, and of such things as relate to marriages, as may be seen above, n. ; and of those who know nothing of the things relating to marriage, chastity is not predicable; for it is as it were nothing relating to them; and nothing cannot be an object either of affection or thought: but after this nothing there arises something, when the first motion towards marriage is felt, which is the love of the sex. that virgins and young men, before they feel in themselves the love of the sex, are commonly called chaste, is owing to ignorance of what chastity is. . xi. chastity cannot be predicated of eunuchs so born, or of eunuchs so made. eunuchs so born are those more especially with whom the ultimate of love is wanting from birth: and as in such case the first and middle principles are without a foundation on which to stand, they have therefore no existence; and if they exist, the persons in whom they exist have no concern to distinguish between the chaste principle and the unchaste, each being indifferent to them; but of these persons there are several distinctions. the case is nearly the same with eunuchs so made as with some eunuchs so born; but eunuchs so made, as they are both men and women, cannot possibly regard conjugial love any otherwise than as a phantasy, and the delights thereof as idle stories. if they have any inclination, it is rendered mute, which is neither chaste nor unchaste: and what is neither chaste nor unchaste, derives no quality from either the one or the other. . x. chastity cannot be predicated of those who do not believe adulteries to be evils in regard to religion; and still less of those who do not believe them to be hurtful to society. the reason why chastity cannot be predicated of such is, because they neither know what chastity is nor even that it exists; for chastity relates to marriage, as was shewn in the first article of this section. those who do not believe adulteries be evil in regard to religion, regard even marriages as unchaste; whereas religion with married pairs constitutes their chastity; thus such persons have nothing chaste in them, and therefore it is in vain to talk to them of chastity; these are confirmed adulterers: but those who do not believe adulteries to be hurtful to society, know still less than the others, either what chastity is or even that it exists; for they are adulterers from a determined purpose: if they say that marriages are less unchaste than adulteries, they say so merely with the mouth, but not with the heart, because marriages with them are cold, and those who speak from such cold concerning chaste heat, cannot have an idea of chaste heat in regard to conjugial love. the nature and quality of such persons, and of the ideas of their thought, and hence of the interior principles of their conversation, will be seen in the second part of this work,--adulterous love and its sinful pleasures. . xi. chastity cannot be predicated of those who abstain from adulteries only for various external reasons. many believe that the mere abstaining from adulteries in the body is chastity; yet this is not chastity, unless at the same time there is an abstaining in spirit. the spirit of man (_homo_), by which is here meant his mind as to affections and thoughts, constitutes the chaste principle and the unchaste, for hence it flows into the body, the body being in all cases such as the mind or spirit is. hence it follows, that those who abstain from adulteries in the body, without being influenced from the spirit are not chaste; neither are those chaste who abstain from them in spirit as influenced from the body. there are many assignable causes which make a man desist from adulteries in the body, and also in the spirit as influenced from the body; but still, he that does not desist from them in the body as influenced from the spirit, is unchaste; for the lord says, "_that whosoever looketh upon another's woman, so as to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart_," matt. v. . it is impossible to enumerate all the causes of abstinence from adulteries in the body only, they being various according to states of marriage, and also according to states of the body; for there are some persons who abstain from them from fear of the civil law and its penalties; some from fear of the loss of reputation and thereby of honor; some from fear of diseases which may be thereby contracted; some from fear of domestic quarrels on the part of the wife, whereby the quiet of their lives may be disturbed; some from fear of revenge on the part of the husband or relations; some from fear of chastisement from the servants of the family; some also abstain from motives of poverty, avarice, or imbecility, arising either from disease, from abuse, from age, or from impotence. of these there are some also, who, because they cannot or dare not commit adultery in the body, condemn adulteries in the spirit; and thus they speak morally against adulteries, and in favor of marriages; but such person, unless in spirit they call adulteries accursed, and this from a religious principle in the spirit, are still adulterers; for although they do not commit them in the body, yet they do in the spirit; wherefore after death, when they become spirits, they speak openly in favor of them. from these considerations it is manifest, that even a wicked person may shun adulteries as hurtful; but that none but a christian can shun them as sins. hence then the truth of the proposition is evident, that chastity cannot be predicated of those who abstain from adulteries merely for various external reasons. . xii. chastity cannot be predicated of those who believe marriages to be unchaste. these, like the persons spoken of just above, n. , do not know either what chastity is, or even that it exists; and in this respect they are like those who make chastity to consist merely in celibacy, of whom we shall speak presently. . xiii. chastity cannot be predicated of those who have renounced marriage by vows of perpetual celibacy, unless there be and remain in them the love of a life truly conjugial. the reason why chastity cannot be predicated of these, is, because after a vow of perpetual celibacy, conjugial love is renounced; and yet it is of this love alone that chastity can be predicated: nevertheless there still remains an inclination to the sex implanted from creation, and consequently innate by birth; and when this inclination is restrained and subdued, it must needs pass away into heat, and in some cases into a violent burning, which, in rising from the body into the spirit, infests it, and with some persons defiles it; and there may be instances where the spirit thus defiled may defile also the principles of religion, casting them down from their internal abode, where they are in holiness, into things external, where they become mere matters of talk and gesture; therefore it was provided by the lord, that celibacy should have place only with those who are in external worship, as is the case with all who do not address themselves to the lord, or read the word. with such, eternal life is not so much endangered by vows of celibacy attended with engagements to chastity, as it is with those who are principled in internal worship: moreover, in many instances that state of life is not entered upon from any freedom of the will, many being engaged therein before they attain to freedom grounded in reason, and some in consequence of alluring worldly motives. of those who adopt that state with a view to have their minds disengaged from the world, that they may be more at leisure to apply themselves to divine things, those only are chaste with whom the love of a life truly conjugial either preceded that state or followed it, and with whom it remains; for the love of a life truly conjugial is that alone of which chastity is predicated. wherefore also, after death, all who have lived in monasteries are at length freed from their vows and set at liberty, that, according to the interior vows and desires of their love, they may be led to choose a life either conjugial or extra-conjugial: if in such case they enter into conjugial life, those who have loved also the spiritual things of divine worship are given in marriage in heaven; but those who enter into extra-conjugial life are sent to their like, who dwell on the confines of heaven. i have inquired of the angels, whether those who have devoted themselves to works of piety, and given themselves up entirely to divine worship, and who thus have withdrawn themselves from the snares of the world and the concupiscences of the flesh, and with this view have vowed perpetual virginity, are received into heaven, and there admitted among the blessed to enjoy an especial portion of happiness according to their faith. to this the angels replied, that such are indeed received into heaven; but when they are made sensible of the sphere of conjugial love there, they become sad and fretful, and then, some of their own accord, some by asking leave, and some from being commanded, depart and are dismissed, and when they are out of that heaven, a way is opened for them to their consociates, who had been in a similar state of life in the world; and then from being fretful they become cheerful, and rejoice together. . xiv. a state of marriage is to be preferred to a state of celibacy. this is evident from what has been said above respecting marriage and celibacy. a state of marriage is to be preferred because it is a state ordained from creation; because it originates in the marriage of good and truth; because it corresponds with the marriage of the lord and the church; because the church and conjugial love are constant companions; because its use is more excellent than all the other uses of the things of creation, for thence according to order is derived the increase of the human race, and also of the angelic heaven, which is formed from the human race: moreover, marriage constitutes the completeness of a man (_homo_); for by it he becomes a complete man, as will be shewn in the following chapter. all these things are wanting in celibacy. but if the proposition be taken for granted, that a state of celibacy is preferable to a state of marriage, and if this proposition be left to the mind's examination, to be assented to and established by confirming proofs, then the conclusion must be, that marriages are not holy, neither can they be chaste; yea, that chastity in the female sex belongs only to those, who abstain from marriage and vow perpetual virginity: and moreover, that those who have vowed perpetual celibacy are understood by the eunuchs _who make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake_, matt. xix. ; not to mention other conclusions of a like nature; which, being grounded in a proposition that is not true, are also not true. the eunuchs who make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake, are spiritual eunuchs, who are such as in marriages abstain from the evils of whoredoms: that italian eunuchs are not meant, is evident. * * * * * [transcriber's note: the out-of-order section numbers which follow are in the original text, as are the asterisks which do not seem to indicate footnotes.] .* to the above i shall add two memorable relations. first. as i was going home from the school of wisdom (concerning which, see above, n. ), i saw in the way an angel dressed in blue. he joined me and walked by my side, and said, "i see that you are come from the school of wisdom, and are made glad by what you heard there; and as i perceive that you are not a full inhabitant of this world, because you are at the same time in the natural world, and therefore know nothing of our olympic gymnasia, where the ancient _sophi_ meet together, and by the information they collect from every new comer, learn what changes and successions wisdom has undergone and is still undergoing in your world; if you are willing i will conduct you to the place where several of those ancient _sophi_ and their sons, that is, their disciples, dwell." so he led me to the confines between the north and east; and while i was looking that way from a rising ground, lo! i saw a city, and on one side of it two small hills; that which was nearer to the city being lower than the other. "that city," said he, "is called athens, the lower hill parnassus, and the higher helicon. they are so called, because in the city and around it dwell the wise men who formerly lived in greece, as pythagoras, socrates, aristippus, xenophon, with their disciples and scholars." on my asking him concerning plato and aristotle, he said, "they and their followers dwell in another region, because they taught principles of rationality which relate to the understanding; whereas the former taught morality which relates to the life." he further informed me, that it was customary at times to depute from the city of athens some of the students to learn from the literati of the christians, what sentiments they entertain at this day respecting god, the creation of the universe, the immortality of the soul, the relative state of men and beasts, and other subjects of interior wisdom: and he added, that a herald had that day announced an assembly, which was a token that the emissaries had met with some strangers newly arrived from the earth, who had communicated some curious information. we then saw several persons going from the city and its suburbs, some having their heads decked with wreaths of laurel, some holding palms in their hands, some with books under their arms, and some with pens under the hair of the left temple. we mixed with the company, and ascended the hill with them; and lo! on the top was an octagonal palace, which they called the palladium, into which we entered; within there were eight hexangular recesses, in each of which was a book-case and a table: at these recesses were seated the laureled _sophi_, and in the palladium itself there were seats cut out of the rock, on which the rest were seated. a door on the left was then opened, through which the two strangers newly arrived from the earth were introduced; and after the compliments of salutation were paid, one of the laureled _sophi_ asked them, "what news from the earth?" they replied, "this is news, that in forests there have been found men like beasts, or beasts like men: from their face and body they were known to have been born men, and to have been lost or left in the forests when they were two or three years old; they were not able to give utterance to any thought, nor could they learn to articulate the voice into any distinct expression; neither did they know the food suitable for them as the beasts do, but put greedily into their mouths whatever they found in the forest, whether it was clean or unclean; besides many other particulars of a like nature: from which some of the learned among us have formed several conjectures and conclusions concerning the relative state of men and beasts." on hearing this account, some of the ancient _sophi_ asked, "what were the conjectures and conclusions formed from the circumstances you have related?" the two strangers replied, "there were several: but they may all be comprised under the following: . that a man by nature, and also by birth, is more stupid and consequently viler than any beast; and that he remains so, unless he is instructed. . that he is capable of being instructed, because he has learnt to frame articulate sounds, and thence to speak, and thereby has begun to express his thoughts, and this successively more and more perfectly until he has been able to express the laws of civil society; several of which are nevertheless impressed on beasts from their birth. . that beasts have rationality like men. . therefore, that if beasts could speak, they would reason on any subject as acutely as men; a proof of which is, that they think from reason and prudence just as men do. . that the understanding is only a modification of light from the sun; the heat co-operating by means of ether, so that it is only an activity of interior nature; and that this activity may be so exalted as to appear like wisdom. . that therefore it is ridiculous to believe that a man lives after death any more than a beast; unless perchance, for some days after his decease, in consequence of an exhalation of the life of the body, he may appear as a mist under the form of a spectre, before he is dissipated into nature; just as a shrub raised up from its ashes, appears in the likeness of its own form. . consequently that religion, which teaches a life after death, is a mere device, in order to keep the simple inwardly in bonds by its laws, as they are kept outwardly in bonds by the laws of the state." to this they added, that "people of mere ingenuity reason in this manner, but not so the intelligent:" and they were asked, "how do the intelligent reason?" they said they had not been informed; but they supposed that they must reason differently. .* on hearing this relation, all those who were sitting at the tables exclaimed, "alas! what times are come on the earth! what changes has wisdom undergone? how is she transformed into a false and infatuated ingenuity! the sun is set, and in his station beneath the earth is in direct opposition to his meridian altitude. from the case here adduced respecting such as have been left and found in forests, who cannot see that an uninstructed man is such as here represented? for is not the nature of his life determined by the nature of the instruction he receives? is he not born in a state of greater ignorance than the beasts? must he not learn to walk and to speak? supposing he never learnt to walk, would he ever stand upright? and if he never learnt to speak, would he ever be able to express his thoughts? is not every man such as instruction makes him,--insane from false principles, or wise from truths? and is not he that is insane from false principles, entirely possessed with an imagination that he is wiser than he that is wise from truths? are there not instances of men who are so wild and foolish, that they are no more like men than those who have been found in forests? is not this the case with such as have been deprived of memory? from all these considerations we conclude, that a man without instruction is neither a man nor a beast; but that he is a form, which is capable of receiving in itself that which constitutes a man; and thus that he is not born a man, but that he is made a man; and that a man is born such a form as to be an organ receptive of life from god, to the end that he may be a subject into which god may introduce all good, and, by union with himself, may make him eternally blessed. we have perceived from your conversation, that wisdom at this day is so far extinguished or infatuated, that nothing at all is known concerning the relative state of the life of men and of beasts; and hence it is that the state of the life of man after death is not known: but those who are capable of knowing this, and yet are not willing, and in consequence deny it, as many christians do, may fitly be compared to such as are found in forests: not that they are rendered so stupid from a want of instruction, but that they have rendered themselves so by the fallacies of the senses, which are the darkness of truths." .* at that instant a certain person standing in the middle of the palladium, and holding in his hand a palm, said, "explain, i pray, this arcanum, how a man, created a form of god, could be changed into a form of the devil. i know that the angels of heaven are forms of god and that the angels of hell are forms of the devil, and that the two forms are opposite to each other, the latter being insanities, the former wisdoms. tell me, therefore, how a man, created a form of god, could pass from day into such night, as to be capable of denying god and life eternal." to this the several teachers replied in order; first the pythagoreans, next the socratics, and afterwards the rest: but among them there was a certain platonist, who spoke last; and his opinion prevailed, which was to this effect; that the men of the saturnine or golden age knew and acknowledged that they were forms receptive of life from god; and that on this account wisdom was inscribed on their souls and hearts, and hence they saw truth from the light of truth, and by truths perceived good from the delight of the love thereof: but as mankind in the following ages receded from the acknowledgement that all the truth of wisdom and the consequent good of love belonging to them, continually flowed in from god, they ceased to be habitations of god; and then also discourse with god, and consociation with angels ceased: for the interiors of their minds were bent from their direction, which had been elevated upwards to god from god, into a direction more and more oblique, outwardly into the world, and thereby to god from god through the world, and at length inverted into an opposite direction, which is downwards to self; and as god cannot be looked at by a man interiorly inverted, and thereby averted, men separated themselves from god, and were made forms of hell or devils. from these considerations it follows, that in the first ages they acknowledged in heart and soul, that all the good of love and the consequent true wisdom, were derived to them from god, and also that they were god's in them: and thus that they were mere recipients of life from god, and hence were called images of god, sons of god, and born of god: but that in succeeding ages they did not acknowledge this in heart and soul, but by a certain persuasive faith, next by an historical faith, and lastly only with the mouth; and this last kind of acknowledgement is no acknowledgement at all; yea, it is in fact a denial at heart. from these considerations it may be seen what is the quality of the wisdom which prevails at this day on the earth among christians, while they do not know the distinction between a man and a beast, notwithstanding their being in possession of a written revelation, whereby they may be inspired by god: and hence many believe, that in case a man lives after death, a beast must live also; or because a beast is not to live after death, neither will a man. is not our spiritual light, which enlightens the sight of the mind, become thick darkness with them? and is not their natural light, which only enlightens the bodily sight, become brightness to them? .* after this they all turned towards the two strangers, and thanked them for their visit, and for the relation they had given, and entreated them to go and communicate to their brethren what they had heard. the strangers replied that they would endeavor to confirm their brethren in this truth, that so far as they ascribe all the good of charity and the truth of faith to the lord, and not to themselves, so far they are men, and so far they become angels of heaven. .* the second memorable relation. one morning i was awoke by some delightful singing which i heard at a height above me, and in consequence, during the first watch, which is internal, pacific, and sweet, more than the succeeding part of the day, i was in a capacity of being kept for some time in the spirit as it were out of the body, and of attending carefully to the affection which was sung. the singing of heaven is an affection of the mind, sent forth through the mouth as a tune: for the tone of the voice in speaking, separate from the discourse of the speaking, and grounded in the affection of love, is what gives life to the speech. in that state i perceived that it was the affection of the delights of conjugial love, which was made musical by wives in heaven: that this was the case, i observed from the sound of the song, in which those delights were varied in a wonderful manner. after this i arose, and looked into the spiritual world; and lo! in the east, beneath the sun, there appeared as it were a golden shower. it was the morning dew descending in great abundance, which, catching the sun's rays, exhibited to my eyes the appearance of a golden shower. in consequence of this i became fully awake, and went forth in the spirit, and asked an angel who then happened to meet me, whether he saw a golden shower descending from the sun? he replied, that he saw one whenever he was meditating on conjugial love; and at the same time turning his eyes towards the sun, he added, "that shower falls over a hall, in which are three husbands with their wives, who dwell in the midst of an eastern paradise. such a shower is seen falling from the sun over that hall, because with those husbands and wives there resides wisdom respecting conjugial love and its delights; with the husbands respecting conjugial love, and with the wives respecting its delights. but i perceive that you are engaged in meditating on the delights of conjugial love: i will therefore conduct you there, and introduce you to them." he led me through paradisiacal scenery to houses built of olive wood, having two cedar columns before the gate, and introduced me to the husbands, and asked their permission for me to converse with them in the presence of the wives. they consented, and called their wives. these looked into my eyes most shrewdly; upon which i asked them, "why do you do so?" they said, "we can thereby discover exquisitely what is your inclination and consequent affection, and your thought grounded in affection, respecting the love of the sex; and we see that you are meditating intensely, but still chastely, concerning it." and they added, "what do you wish us to tell you on the subject?" i replied, "tell me, i pray, something respecting the delights of conjugial love." the husbands assented, saying, "if you are so disposed, give them some information in regard to those delights: their ears are chaste." they asked me, "who taught you to question us respecting the delights of that love? why did you not question our husbands?" i replied, "this angel, who accompanies me, informed me, that wives are the recipients and sensories of those delights, because they are born loves; and all delights are of love." to this they replied with a smile, "be prudent, and declare nothing of this sort except ambiguously; because it is a wisdom deeply seated in the hearts of our sex, and is not discovered to any husband, unless he be principled in love truly conjugial. there are several reasons for this, which we keep entirely to ourselves." then the husbands said, "our wives know all the states of our minds, none of which are hid from them: they see, perceive, and are sensible of whatever proceeds from our will. we, on the other hand, know nothing of what passes with our wives. this faculty is given to wives, because they are most tender loves, and as it were burning zeals for the preservation of friendship and conjugial confidence, and thereby of all the happiness of life, which they carefully attend to, both in regard to their husbands and themselves, by virtue of a wisdom implanted in their love, which is so full of prudence, that they are unwilling to say, and consequently cannot say, that they love, but that they are loved." i asked the wives, "why are you unwilling, and consequently cannot say so?" they replied, "if the least hint of the kind were to escape from the mouth of a wife, the husband would be seized with coolness, which would entirely separate him from all communication with his wife, so that he could not even bear to look upon her; but this is the case only with those husbands who do not hold marriages to be holy, and therefore do not love their wives from spiritual love: it is otherwise with those who do. in the minds of the latter this love is spiritual, and by derivation thence in the body is natural. we in this hall are principled in the latter love by derivation from the former; therefore we trust our husbands with our secrets respecting our delights of conjugial love." then i courteously asked them to disclose to me some of those secrets: they then looked towards a window on the southern quarter, and lo! there appeared a white dove, whose wings shone as if they were of silver, and its head was crested with a crown as of gold: it stood upon a bough, from which there went forth an olive; and while it was in the attempt to spread out its wings, the wives said, "we will communicate something: the appearing of that dove is a token that we may. every man (_vir_)" they continued, "has five senses, seeing, hearing, smelling, taste, and touch; but we have likewise a sixth, which is the sense of all the delights of the conjugial love of the husband; and this sense we have in the palms of our hands, while we touch the breasts, arms, hands, or cheeks, of our husbands, especially their breasts; and also while we are touched by them. all the gladness and pleasantness of the thoughts of their minds (_mentium_), all the joys and delights of their minds (_animarum_) and all the festive and cheerful principles of their bosoms, pass from them to us, and become perceptible, sensible, and tangible: we discern them as exquisitely and distinctly as the ear does the tune of a song, and the tongue the taste of dainties; in a word, the spiritual delights of our husbands put on with us a kind of natural embodiment; therefore they call us the sensory organs of chaste conjugial love, and thence its delights. but this sixth sense of ours exists, subsists, persists, and is exalted in the degree in which our husbands love us from wisdom and judgement, and in which we in our turn love them from the same principles in them. this sense in our sex is called in the heavens the sport of wisdom with its love, and of love with its wisdom." from this information i became desirous of asking further questions concerning the variety of their delights. they said, "it is infinite; but we are unwilling and therefore unable to say more; for the dove at our window, with the olive branch under his feet, is flown away." i waited for its return, but in vain. in the meantime i asked the husbands, "have you a like sense of conjugial love?" they replied, "we have a like sense in general, but not in particular. we enjoy a general blessedness, delight, and pleasantness, arising from the particulars of our wives; and this general principle, which we derive from them, is serenely peaceful." as they said this, lo! through the window there appeared a swan standing on a branch of a fig-tree, which spread out his wings and flew away. on seeing this, the husbands said, "this is a sign for us to be silent respecting conjugial love: come again some other time, and perhaps you may hear more." they then withdrew, and we took our leave. * * * * * on the conjunction of souls and minds by marriage, which is meant by the lord's words,--they are no longer two, but one flesh. .* that at creation there was implanted in the man and the woman an inclination and also a faculty of conjunction as into a one, and that this inclination and this faculty are still in man and woman, is evident from the book of creation, and at the same time from the lord's words. in the book of creation, called genesis, it is written, "_jehovah god builded the rib, which he had taken from the man, into a woman, and brought her to the man. and the man said, this now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man; for this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh_," chap. ii. - . the lord also says in matthew, "_have ye not read, that he that made them from the beginning, made them a male and a female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they two shall become one flesh? wherefore they are no longer two, but one flesh_," chap. xix. - . from this it is evident, that the woman was created out of the man (_vir_), and that each has an inclination and faculty to reunite themselves into a one. that such reunion means into one man (_homo_), is also evident from the book of creation, where both together are called man (_homo_); for it is written, "_in the day that god created man (homo), he created them a male and a female, and called their name man (homo)_," chap. v. . it is there written, he called their name adam; but adam and man are one expression in the hebrew tongue: moreover, both together are called man in the same book, chap. i. ; chap. iii. - . one flesh also signifies one man; as is evident from the passages in the word where mention is made of all flesh, which signifies every man, as gen. chap. vi. , , , ; isaiah xl. , ; chap. xlix. ; chap. lxvi. , , ; jer. xxv. ; chap, xxxii. ; chap. xlv. ; ezek. xx. ; chap. xxi. , ; and other passages. but what is meant by the man's rib, which was builded into a woman; what by the flesh, which was closed up in the place thereof, and thus what by bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and what by a father and a mother, whom a man (_vir_) shall leave after marriage; and what by cleaving to a wife, has been shewn in the arcana coelestia; in which work the two books, genesis and exodus, are explained as to the spiritual sense. it is there proved that a rib does not mean a rib,--nor flesh, flesh,--nor a bone, a bone,--nor cleaving to, cleaving to; but that they signify spiritual things, which correspond thereto, and consequently are signified thereby. that spiritual things are understood, which from two make one man (_homo_), is evident from this consideration, that conjugial love conjoins them, and this love is spiritual. that the love of the man's wisdom is transferred into the wife, has been occasionally observed above, and will be more fully proved in the following sections: at this time it is not allowable to digress from the subject proposed, which is concerning the conjunction of two married partners into one flesh by a union of souls and minds. this union we will elucidate by treating of it in the following order. i. _from creation there is implanted in each sex a faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be conjoined together as it were into a one._ ii. _conjugial love conjoins two souls, and thence two minds into a one._ iii. _the will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man conjoins itself with the will of the wife._ iv. _the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife; but is inconstant and alternate with the man._ v. _conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom._ vi. _this conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage; and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity._ vii. _the conjunction of the wife with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but with this moral wisdom from without._ viii. _for the sake of this conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of the husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them._ ix. _wives conceal this perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands, for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together, and the happiness of life may he secured._ x. _this perception is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife._ xi. _the wife, from a principle of love, is continually thinking about the man's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself: it is otherwise with the man._ xii. _the wife conjoins herself to the man, by applications to the desires of his will._ xiii. _the wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him._ xiv. _the wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their mutual spiritual love._ xv. _thus the wife receives in herself the image of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of, his affections._ xvi. _there are duties proper to the husband, and others proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright._ xvii. _these duties, also, according to mutual aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time constitute one house._ xviii. _married partners, according to these conjunctions, become one man (homo) more and more._ xix. _those who are principled in love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, and as it were one flesh._ xx. _love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavor towards conjunction in the bosoms and thence in the body._ xxi. _the states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do very good to each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness, satisfaction, delight, and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of these is derived heavenly felicity._ xxii. _these things can only exist in the marriage of one man with one wife._ we proceed now to the explanation of these articles. . i. from creation there is implanted in each sex a faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be joined together, as it were into a one. that the woman was taken out of the man, was shewn just above from the book of creation; hence it follows, that there is in each sex a faculty and inclination to join themselves together into a one; for that which is taken out of anything, derives and retains its constituent principle, from the principle proper to the thing whence it was taken; and as this derived principle is of a similar nature with that from which it was derived, it seeks after a reunion; and when it is reunited, it is as in itself when it is in that from whence it came, and _vice versa_. that there is a faculty of conjunction of the one sex with the other, or that they are capable of being united, is universally allowed; and also that there is an inclination to join themselves the one with the other; for experience supplies sufficient confirmation in both cases. . ii. conjugial love conjoins two souls, and thence two minds, into a one. every man consists of a soul, a mind, and a body. the soul is his inmost, the mind his middle, and the body his ultimate constituent. as the soul is a man's inmost principle, it is, from its origin, celestial; as the mind is his middle principle, it is, from its origin, spiritual; and as the body is his ultimate principle, it is, from its origin, natural. those things, which, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual, are not in space, but in the appearance of space. this also is well known in the word; therefore it is said, that neither extension nor place can be predicated of spiritual things. since therefore spaces are appearances, distances also and presences are appearances. that the appearances of distances and presences in the spiritual world are according to proximities, relationships, and affinities of love, has been frequently pointed out and confirmed in small treatises respecting that world. these observations are made, in order that it may be known that the souls and minds of men are not in space like their bodies; because the former, as was said above, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual; and as they are not in space, they may be joined together as into a one, although their bodies at the same time are not so joined. this is the case especially with married partners, who love each other intimately: but as the woman is from the man, and this conjunction is a species of reunion, it may be seen from reason, that it is not a conjunction into a one, but an adjunction, close and near according to the love, and approaching to contact with those who are principled in love truly conjugial. this adjunction may be called spiritual dwelling together; which takes place with married partners who love each other tenderly, however distant their bodies may be from each other. many experimental proofs exist, even in the natural world, in confirmation of these observations. hence it is evident, that conjugial love conjoins two souls and minds into a one. . iii. the will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man with the will of the wife. the reason of this is, because the male is born to become understanding, and the female to become will, loving the understanding of the male; from which consideration it follows, that conjugial conjunction is that of the will of the wife with the understanding of the man, and the reciprocal conjunction of the understanding of the man with the will of the wife. every one sees that the conjunction of the understanding and the will is of the most intimate kind; and that it is such, that the one faculty can enter into the other, and be delighted from and in the conjunction. . iv. the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife, but inconstant and alternate with the man. the reason of this is, because love cannot do otherwise than love and unite itself, in order that it may be loved in return, this being its very essence and life; and women are born loves; whereas men, with whom they unite themselves in order that they may be loved in return, are receptions. moreover love is continually efficient; being like heat, flame, and fire, which perish if their efficiency is checked. hence the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife: but a similar inclination does not operate with the man towards the wife, because the man is not love, but only a recipient of love; and as a state of reception is absent or present according to intruding cares, and to the varying presence or absence of heat in the mind, as derived from various causes, and also according to the increase and decrease of the bodily powers, which do not return regularly and at stated periods, it follows, that the inclination to conjunction is inconstant and alternate with men. . v. conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom. that love and consequent conjunction is inspired into the man by the wife, is at this day concealed from the men; yea, it is universally denied by them; because wives insinuate that the men alone love, and that they themselves receive; or that the men are loves, and themselves obediences: they rejoice also in heart when the men believe it to be so. there are several reasons why they endeavour to persuade the men of this, which are all grounded in their prudence and circumspection; respecting which, something shall be said in a future part of this work, particularly in the chapter on the causes of coldness, separations, and divorces between married partners. the reason why men receive from their wives the inspiration or insinuation of love, is, because nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the sex, is with the men, but only with wives and females. that this is the case, has been clearly shewn me in the spiritual world. i was once engaged in conversation there on this subject; and the men, in consequence of a persuasion infused from their wives, insisted that they loved and not the wives; but that the wives received love from them. in order to settle the dispute respecting this arcanum, all the females, married and unmarried, were withdrawn from the men, and at the same time the sphere of the love of the sex was removed with them. on the removal of this sphere, the men were reduced to a very unusual state, such as they had never before perceived, at which they greatly complained. then, while they were in this state, the females were brought to them, and the wives to the husbands; and both the wives and the other females addressed them in the tenderest and most engaging manner; but they were cold to their tenderness, and turned away, and said one to another, "what is all this? what is a female?" and when some of the women said that they were their wives, they replied, "what is a wife? we do not know you." but when the wives began to be grieved at this absolutely cold indifference of the men, and some of them to shed tears, the sphere of the love of the female sex, and the conjugial sphere, which had for a time been withdrawn from the men, was restored; and then the men instantly returned into their former state, the lovers of marriage into their state, and the lovers of the sex into theirs. thus the men were convinced, that nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the sex, resides with them, but only with the wives and females. nevertheless, the wives afterwards from their prudence induced the men to believe, that love resides with the men, and that some small spark of it may pass from them into the wives. this experimental evidence is here adduced, in order that it may be known, that wives are loves and men recipients. that men are recipients according to their wisdom, especially according to this wisdom grounded in religion, that the wife only is to be loved, is evident from this consideration, that so long as the wife only is loved, the love is concentrated; and because it is also ennobled, it remains in its strength, and is fixed and permanent; and that in any other case it would be as when wheat from the granary is cast to the dogs, whereby there is scarcity at home. . vi. this conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage; and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, it is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity. the first heat of marriage does not conjoin; for it partakes of the love of the sex, which is the love of the body and thence of the spirit; and what is in the spirit, as derived from the body, does not long continue; but the love which is in the body, and is derived from the spirit, does continue. the love of the spirit, and of the body from the spirit, is insinuated into the souls and minds of married partners, together with friendship and confidence. when these two (friendship and confidence) conjoin themselves with the first love of marriage, there is effected conjugial love, which opens the bosoms, and inspires the sweets of that love; and this more and more thoroughly, in proportion as those two principles adjoin themselves to the primitive love, and that love enters into them, and _vice versa_. . vii. the conjunction of the wife with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but with his moral wisdom from without. that wisdom with men is two-fold, rational and moral, and that their rational wisdom is of the understanding alone, and their moral wisdom is of the understanding and the life together, may be concluded and seen from mere intuition and examination. but in order that it may be known what we mean by the rational wisdom of men, and what by their moral wisdom, we will enumerate some of the specific distinctions. the principles constituent of their rational wisdom are called by various names; in general they are called knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom; but in particular they are called rationality, judgement, capacity, erudition, and sagacity; but as every one has knowledge peculiar to his office, therefore they are multifarious; for the clergy, magistrates, public officers, judges, physicians and chemists, soldiers and sailors, artificers and laborers, husbandmen, &c., have each their peculiar knowledge. to rational wisdom also appertain all the knowledge into which young men are initiated in the schools, and by which they are afterwards initiated into intelligence, which also are called by various names, as philosophy, physics, geometry, mechanics, chemistry, astronomy, jurisprudence, politics, ethics, history, and several others, by which, as by doors, an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom. . but the constituents of moral wisdom with men are all the moral virtues, which have respect to life, and enter into it, and also all the spiritual virtues, which flow from love to god and love towards our neighbour, and centre in those loves. the virtues which appertain to the moral wisdom of men are also of various kinds, and are called temperance, sobriety, probity, benevolence, friendship, modesty, sincerity, courtesy, civility, also carefulness, industry, quickness of wit, alacrity, munificence, liberality, generosity, activity, intrepidity, prudence and many others. spiritual virtues with men are the love of religion, charity, truth, conscience, innocence, and many more. the latter virtues and also the former, may in general be referred to love and zeal for religion, for the public good, for a man's country, for his fellow-citizens, for his parents, for his married partner, and for his children. in all these, justice and judgement have dominion; justice having relation to moral, and judgement to rational wisdom. . the reason why the conjunction of the wife with the man's rational wisdom is from within, is, because this wisdom belongs to the man's understanding, and ascends into the light in which women are not and this is the reason why women do not speak from that wisdom; but, when the conversation of the men turns on subjects proper thereto, they remain silent and listen. that nevertheless such subjects have place with the wives from within, is evident from their listening thereto, and from their inwardly recollecting what had been said, and favoring those things which they had heard from their husbands. but the reason why the conjunction of the wife with the moral wisdom of the man is from without, is, because the virtues of that wisdom for the most part are akin to similar virtues with the women, and partake of the man's intellectual will, with which the will of the wife unites and constitutes a marriage; and since the wife knows those virtues appertaining to the man more than the man himself does, it is said that the conjunction of the wife with those virtues is from without. . viii. for the sake of this conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of the husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them. that wives know the affections of their husbands, and prudently moderate them, is among the arcana of conjugial love which lie concealed with wives. they know those affections by three senses, the sight, the hearing, and the touch, and moderate them while their husbands are not at all aware of it. now as the reasons of this are among the arcana of wives, it does not become me to disclose them circumstantially; but as it is becoming for the wives themselves to do so, therefore four memorable relations are added to this chapter, in which those reasons are disclosed by the wives: two of the relations are taken from the three wives that dwelt in the hall, over which was seen falling as it were a golden shower; and two from the seven wives that were sitting in the garden of roses. a perusal of these relations will unfold this arcanum. . ix. wives conceal this perception with themselves and hide it from their husbands, for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together and the happiness of life may be secured. the concealing and hiding of the perception of the affections of the husband by the wives, are said to be of necessity; because if they should reveal them, they would cause a complete alienation of their husbands, both in mind and body. the reason of this is, because there resides deep in the minds of many men a conjugial coldness, originating in several causes, which will be enumerated in the chapter on the causes of coldnesses, separation, and divorces between married partners. this coldness, in case the wives should discover the affections and inclinations of their husbands, would burst forth from its hiding places, and communicate its cold, first to the interiors of the mind, afterwards to the breast, and thence to the ultimates of love which are appropriated to generation; and these being affected with cold, conjugial love would be banished to such a degree, that there would not remain any hope of friendship, of confidence, of the blessedness of dwelling together, and thence of the happiness of life; when nevertheless wives are continually feeding on this hope. to make this open declaration, that they know their husbands' affections and inclinations of love, carries with it a declaration and publication of their own love: and it is well known, that so far as wives make such a declaration, so far the men grow cold and desire a separation. from these considerations the truth of this proposition is manifest, that the reasons why wives conceal their perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands, are reasons of necessity. . x. this perception is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife. this follows from the distinction subsisting between the male principle and the female. the male principle consists in perceiving from the understanding, and the female in perceiving from love: and the understanding perceives also those things which are above the body and are out of the world; for the rational and spiritual sight reaches to such objects; whereas love reaches no further than to what it feels; when it reaches further, it is in consequence of conjunction with the understanding of the man established from creation: for the understanding has relation to light, and love to heat; and those things which have relation to light, are seen, and those which have relation to heat, are felt. from these considerations it is evident, that from the universal distinction subsisting between the male principle and the female, the wisdom of the wife is not communicable to the man, neither is the wisdom of the man communicable to the wife: nor, further, is the moral wisdom of the man communicable to women, so far as it partakes of his rational wisdom. . xi. the wife from a principle of love in continually thinking about the man's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself: it is otherwise with the man. this agrees with what was explained above; namely, that the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife, but inconstant and alternate with the man; see n. : hence it follows, that the wife's thoughts are continually employed about her husband's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself. her thoughts concerning her husband are interrupted indeed by domestic concerns; but still they remain in the affection of her love; and this affection does not separate itself from the thoughts with women, as it does with men: these things, however, i relate from hearsay; see the two memorable relations from the seven wives sitting in the rose-garden, which are annexed to some of the following chapters. . xii. the wife conjoins herself to the man by applications to the desires of his will. this being generally known and admitted, it is needless to explain it. . xiii. the wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him. there flows, yea there overflows, from every man (_homo_) a spiritual sphere, derived from the affections of his love, which encompasses him, and infuses itself into the natural sphere derived from the body, so that the two spheres are conjoined. that a natural sphere is continually flowing, not only from men, but also from beasts, yea from trees, fruits, flowers, and also from metals, is generally known. the case is the same in the spiritual world; but the spheres flowing from subjects in that world are spiritual, and those which emanate from spirits and angels are altogether spiritual; because there appertain thereto affections of love, and thence interior perceptions and thoughts. this is the origin of all sympathy and antipathy, and likewise of all conjunction and disjunction, and, according thereto, of presence and absence in the spiritual world: for what is of a similar nature or concordant causes conjunction and presence, and what is of a dissimilar nature and discordant causes disjunction and absence; therefore those spheres cause distances in that world. what effects those spiritual spheres produce in the natural world, is also known to some. the inclinations of married partners towards each other are from no other origin. they are united by unanimous and concordant spheres, and disunited by adverse and discordant spheres; for concordant spheres are delightful and grateful, whereas discordant spheres are undelightful and ungrateful. i have been informed by the angels, who are in a clear perception of those spheres, that every part of a man, both interior and exterior, renews itself; which is effected by solutions and reparations; and that hence arises the sphere which continually issues forth. i have also been informed that this sphere encompasses a man on the back and on the breast, lightly on the back, but more densely on the breast, and that the sphere issuing from the breast conjoins itself with the respiration; and that this is the reason why two married partners, who are of different minds and discordant affections, lie in bed back to back, and, on the other hand, why those who agree in minds and affections, mutually turn towards each other. i have been further informed by the angels, that these spheres, because they flow from every part of a man (_homo_), and are abundantly continued around him, conjoin and disjoin two married partners not only externally, but also internally; and that hence come all the differences and varieties of conjugial love. lastly, i have been informed, that the sphere of love, flowing from a wife who is tenderly loved, is perceived in heaven as sweetly fragrant, by far more pleasant than it is perceived in the world by a newly married man during the first days after marriage. from these considerations is manifested the truth of the assertion, that a wife is conjoined to a man by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him. . xiv. the wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their mutual spiritual love. that this is the case, i have also gathered from the mouth of angels. they have declared that the prolific principles imparted from the husbands are received universally by the wives and add themselves to their life; and that thus the wives lead a life unanimous, and successively more unanimous with their husbands; and that hence is effectively produced a union of souls and a conjunction of minds. they declared the reason of this was, because in the prolific principle of the husband is his soul, and also his mind as to its interiors, which are conjoined to the soul. they added, that this was provided from creation, in order that the wisdom of the man, which constitutes his soul, may be appropriated to the wife, and that thus they may become, according to the lord's words, one flesh: and further, that this was provided, lest the husband (_homovir_) from some caprice should leave the wife after conception. but they added further, that applications and appropriations of the life of the husband with the wife are effected according to conjugial love, because love which is spiritual union, conjoins; and that this also is provided for several reasons. . xv. thus the wife receives in herself the image of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of, his affections. from the reasons above adduced it follows as an established fact, that wives receive in themselves those things which appertain to the wisdom of their husbands, thus which are proper to the souls and minds of their husbands, and thereby from virgins make themselves wives. the reasons from which this follows, are, . that the woman was created out of the man. . that hence she has an inclination to unite, and as it were to reunite herself with the man. . that by virtue of this union with her partner, and for the sake of it, the woman is born the love of the man, and becomes more and more the love of him by marriage; because in this case the love is continually employing its thoughts to conjoin the man to itself. . that the woman is conjoined to her only one (_unico suo_) by application to the desires of his life. . that they are conjoined by the spheres which encompass them, and which unite themselves universally and particularly according to the quality of the conjugial love with the wives, and at the same time according to the quality of the wisdom recipient thereof with the husbands. . that they are also conjoined by appropriations of the powers of the husbands by the wives. . from which reasons it is evident, that there is continually somewhat of the husband being transferred to the wife, and inscribed on her as her own. from all these considerations it follows, that the image of the husband is formed in the wife; by virtue of which image the wife perceives, sees, and is sensible of, the things which are in her husband, in herself, and thence as it were herself in him. she perceives from communication, she sees from aspect, and she is made sensible from the touch. that she is made sensible of the reception of her love by the husband from the touch in the palms of the hands, on the cheeks, the shoulders, the hands, and the breasts, i learnt from the three wives in the hall, and the seven wives in the rose garden, spoken of in the memorable relations which follow. . xvi. there are duties proper to the husband and others proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright. that there are duties proper to the husband, and others proper to the wife, needs not to be illustrated by an enumeration of them; for they are many and various: and every one that chooses to do so can arrange them numerically according to their genera and species. the duties by which wives principally conjoin themselves with their husbands, are those which relate to the education of the children of each sex, and of the girls till they are marriageable. . the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor on the other hand the husband into the duties proper to the wife, because they differ like wisdom and the love thereof, or like thought and the affection thereof, or like understanding and the will thereof. in the duties proper to husbands, the primary agent is understanding, thought, and wisdom; whereas in the duties proper to wives, the primary agent is will, affection, and love; and the wife from the latter performs her duties, and the husband from the former performs his; wherefore their duties are naturally different, but still conjunctive in a successive series. many believe that women can perform the duties of men, if they are initiated therein at an early age, as boys are. they may indeed be initiated into the practice of such duties, but not into the judgement on which the propriety of duties interiorly depends; wherefore such women as have been initiated into the duties of men, are bound in matters of judgement to consult men, and then, if they are left to their own disposal, they select from the counsels of men that which suits their own inclination. some also suppose that women are equally capable with men of elevating their intellectual vision, and into the same sphere of light, and of viewing things with the same depth; and they have been led into this opinion by the writings of certain learned authoresses: but these writings, when examined in the spiritual world in the presence of the authoresses, were found to be the productions, not of judgement and wisdom, but of ingenuity and wit; and what proceeds from these on account of the elegance and neatness of the style in which it is written, has the appearance of sublimity and erudition; yet only in the eyes of those who dignify all ingenuity by the name of wisdom. in like manner men cannot enter into the duties proper to women, and perform them aright, because they are not in the affections of women, which are altogether distinct from the affections of men. as the affections and perceptions of the male (and of the female) sex are thus distinct by creation and consequently by nature, therefore among the statutes given to the sons of israel this also was ordained, "_a woman shall not put on the garment of a man, neither shall a man put on the garment of a woman; because this is an abomination_." deut. xxii. . this was, because, all in the spiritual world are clothed according to their affections; and the two affections, of the woman and of the man, cannot be united except (as subsisting) between two, and in no case (as subsisting) in one. . xvii. these duties also, according to mutual aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time constitute one house. it is well known in the world that the duties of the husband in some way conjoin themselves with the duties of the wife, and that the duties of the wife adjoin themselves to the duties of the husband, and that these conjunctions and adjunctions are a mutual aid, and according thereto: but the primary duties, which confederate, consociate, and gather into one the souls and lives of two married partners, relate to the common care of educating their children; in relation to which care, the duties of the husband and of the wife are distinct, and yet join themselves together. they are distinct; for the care of suckling and nursing the infants of each sex, and also the care of instructing the girls till they become marriageable, is properly the duty of the wife; whereas the care of instructing the boys, from childhood to youth, and from youth till they become capable of governing themselves, is properly the duty of the husband: nevertheless the duties, of both the husband and the wife, are blended by means of counsel and support, and several other mutual aids. that these duties, both conjoined and distinct, or both common and peculiar, combine the minds of conjugial partners into one; and that this is effected by the love called _storge_, is well known. it is also well known, that these duties, regarded in their distinction and conjunction, constitute one house. . xviii. married partners, according to these conjunctions, become one man (homo) more and more. this coincides with what is contained in article vi.; where it was observed, that conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage and that with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, it is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity; see above. they become one man in proportion as conjugial love increases; and as this love in the heavens is genuine by virtue of the celestial and spiritual life of the angels, therefore two married partners are there called two, when they are regarded as husband and wife, but one, when they are regarded as angels. . xix. those who are principled in love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, and as it were one flesh. that this is the case, must be confirmed not from the testimony of any inhabitant of the earth, but from the testimony of the inhabitants of heaven; for there is no love truly conjugial at this day with men on earth; and moreover, men on earth are encompassed with a gross body, which deadens and absorbs the sensation that two married partners are a united man, and as it were one flesh; and besides, those in the world who love their married partners only exteriorly, and not interiorly, do not wish to hear of such a thing: they think also on the subject lasciviously under the influence of the flesh. it is otherwise with the angels of heaven, who are principled in spiritual and celestial conjugial love, and are not encompassed with so gross a body as men on earth. from those among them who have lived for ages with their conjugial partners in heaven, i have heard it testified, that they are sensible of their being so united, the husband with the wife, and the wife with the husband, and each in the other mutually and interchangeably, as also in the flesh, although they are separate. the reason why this phenomenon is so rare on earth, they have declared to be this; because the union of the souls and minds of married partners on earth is made sensible in their flesh; for the soul constitutes the inmost principles not only of the head, but also of the body: in like manner the mind, which is intermediate between the soul and the body, and which, although it appears to be in the head, is yet also actually in the whole body: and they have declared, that this is the reason why the acts, which the soul and mind intend, flow forth instantly from the body; and that hence also it is, that they themselves, after the rejection of the body in the former world, are perfect men. now, since the soul and the mind join themselves closely to the flesh of the body, in order that they may operate and produce their effects, it follows that the union of soul and mind with a married partner is made sensible also in the body as one flesh. as the angels made these declarations, i heard it asserted by the spirits who were present, that such subjects belong to angelic wisdom, being above ordinary apprehension; but these spirits were rational-natural, and not rational-spiritual. . xx. love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavour towards conjunction in the bosoms and thence in the body. that it is a union of souls and a conjunction of minds, may be seen above, n. . the reason why it is an endeavour towards conjunction in the bosoms is, because the bosom (or breast) is as it were a place of public assembly, and a royal council-chamber, while the body is as a populous city around it. the reason why the bosom is as it were a place of public assembly, is, because all things, which by derivation from the soul and mind have their determination in the body, first flow into the bosom; and the reason why it is as it were a royal council chamber, is, because in the bosom there is dominion over all things of the body; for in the bosom are contained the heart and lungs; and the heart rules by the blood, and the lungs by the respiration, in every part. that the body is as a populous city around it, is evident. when therefore the souls and minds of married partners are united, and love truly conjugial unites them, it follows that this lovely union flows into their bosoms, and through their bosoms into their bodies, and causes an endeavour towards conjunction; and so much the more, because conjugial love determines the endeavour to its ultimates, in order to complete its satisfactions; and as the bosom is intermediate between the body and the mind, it is evident on what account conjugial love has fixed therein the seat of its delicate sensation. . xxi. the states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do every good to each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness, satisfaction, delight and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of these is derived heavenly felicity. all these things are in conjugial love, and thence are derived from it, because its origin is from the marriage of good and truth, and this marriage is from the lord; and because love is of such a nature, that it desires to communicate with another, whom it loves from the heart, yea, confer joys upon him, and thence to derive its own joys. this therefore is the case in an infinitely high degree with the divine love, which is in the lord, in regard to man, whom he created a receptacle of both love and wisdom proceeding from himself; and as he created man (_homo_) for the reception of those principles, the man (_vir_) for the reception of wisdom, and the woman for the reception of the love of the man's wisdom, therefore from inmost principles he infused into men (_homines_) conjugial love into which love he might insinuate all things blessed, satisfactory, delightful, and pleasant, which proceed solely from his divine love through his divine wisdom, together with life, and flow into their recipients; consequently, which flow into those who are principled in love truly conjugial; for these alone are recipients. mention is made of innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, and the mutual desire of doing every good to each other; for innocence and peace relate to the soul, tranquillity to the mind, inmost friendship to the breast, full confidence to the heart, and the mutual desire of doing every good to each other, to the body as derived from the former principles. . xxii. these things can only exist in the marriage of one man with one wife. this is a conclusion from all that has been said above, and also from all that remains to be said; therefore there is no need of any particular comment for its confirmation. * * * * * . to the above i will add two memorable relations. first. after some weeks, i heard a voice from heaven, saying, "lo! there is again an assembly on parnassus: come hither, and we will shew you the way." i accordingly came; and as i drew near, i saw a certain person on helicon with a trumpet, with which he announced and proclaimed the assembly. and i saw the inhabitants of athens and its suburbs ascending as before; and in the midst of them three novitiates from the world. they were of a christian community; one a priest, another a politician, and the third a philosopher. these they entertained on the way with conversation on various subjects, especially concerning the wise ancients, whom they named. they inquired whether they should see them, and were answered in the affirmative, and were told, that if they were desirous, they might pay their respects to them, as they were courteous and affable. the novitiates then inquired after demosthenes, diogenes, and epicurus; and were answered, "demosthenes is not here, but with plato; diogenes, with his scholars, resides under helicon, because of his little attention to worldly things, and his being engaged in heavenly contemplations; epicurus dwells in a border to the west, and has no intercourse with us; because we distinguish between good and evil affections, and say, that good affections are one with wisdom, and evil affections are contrary to it." when they had ascended the hill parnassus, some guards there brought water in crystal cups from a fountain in the mount, and said, "this is water from the fountain which, according to ancient fable, was broken open by the hoof of the horse pegasus, and was afterwards consecrated to nine virgins: but by the winged horse pegasus they meant the understanding of truth, by which comes wisdom; by the hoofs of his feet they understood experiences whereby comes natural intelligence; and by the nine virgins they understood knowledges and sciences of every kind. these things are now called fables; but they were correspondences, agreeable to the primeval method of speaking." then those who attended the three strangers said, "be not surprised; the guards are told thus to speak; but we know that to drink water from the fountain, means to be instructed concerning truths, and by truths concerning goods, and thereby to grow wise." after this, they entered the palladium, and with them the three novitiates, the priest, the politician, and the philosopher; and immediately the laureled sophi who were seated at the tables, asked, "what news from the earth?" they replied, "this is news; that a certain person declares that he converses with angels, and has his sight opened into the spiritual world, equally as into the natural world; and he brings thence much new information, and, among other particulars, asserts, that a man lives a man after death, as he lived before in the world; that he sees, hears, speaks, as before in the world; that he is clothed and decked with ornaments, as before in the world; that he hungers and thirsts, eats and drinks, as before in the world; that he enjoys conjugial delights, as before in the world; that he sleeps and wakes, as before in the world; that in the spiritual world there are land and water, mountains and hills, plains and valleys, fountains and rivers, paradises and groves; also that there are palaces and houses, cities and villages, as in the natural world; and further, that there are writings and books, employments and trades; also precious stones, gold and silver; in a word, that there are all such things there as there are on earth, and that those things in the heavens are infinitely more perfect; with this difference only, that all things in the spiritual world are from a spiritual origin, and therefore are spiritual, because they are from the sun of that world, which is pure love; whereas all things in the natural world are from a natural origin, and therefore are natural and material, because they are from the sun of that world, which is pure fire; in short, that a man after death is perfectly a man, yea more perfectly than before in the world; for before in the world he was in a material body, but in the spiritual world he is in a spiritual body." hereupon the ancient sages asked, "what do the people on the earth think of such information?" the three strangers replied, "we know that it is true, because we are here, and have viewed and examined everything; wherefore we will tell you what has been said and reasoned about it on earth." then the priest said, "those of our order, when they first heard such relations, called them visions, then fictions; afterwards they insisted that the man had seen spectres, and lastly they hesitated, and said, 'believe them who will; we have hitherto taught that a man will not be in a body after death until the day of the last judgement.'" then the sages asked, "are there no intelligent persons among those of your order, who can prove and evince the truth, that a man lives a man after death?" the priest said, "there are indeed some who prove it, but not to the conviction of others. those who prove it say, that it is contrary to sound reason to believe, that a man does not live a man till the day of the last judgement, and that in the mean while he is a soul without a body. what is the soul, or where is it in the interim? is it a vapor, or some wind floating in the atmosphere, or some thing hidden in the bowels of the earth? have the souls of adam and eve, and of all their posterity, now for six thousand years, or sixty ages, been flying about in the universe, or been shut up in the bowels of the earth, waiting for the last judgement? what can be more anxious and miserable than such an expectation? may not their lot in such a case be compared with that of prisoners bound hand and foot, and lying in a dungeon? if such be a man's lot after death, would it not be better to be born an ass than a man? is it not also contrary to reason to believe, that the soul can be re-clothed with its body? is not the body eaten up by worms, mice, and fish? and can a bony skeleton that has been parched in the sun, or mouldered into dust, be introduced into a new body? and how could the cadaverous and putrid materials be collected, and reunited to the souls? when such questions as these are urged, those of our order do not offer any answers grounded in reason, but adhere to their creed, saying, 'we keep reason under obedience to faith.' with respect to collecting all the parts of the human body from the grave at the last day, they say, 'this is a work of omnipotence;' and when they name omnipotence and faith, reason is banished; and i am free to assert, that in such case sound reason is not appreciated, and by some is regarded as a spectre; yea, they can say to sound reason, 'thou art unsound.'" on hearing these things, the grecian sages said, "surely such paradoxes vanish and disperse of themselves, as being full of contradiction; and yet in the world at this day they cannot be dispersed by sound reason. what can be believed more paradoxical than what is told respecting the last judgement; that the universe will then be destroyed, and that the stars of heaven will then fall down upon the earth, which is less than the stars; and that then the bodies of men, whether they be mouldering carcases, or mummies eaten by men, or reduced to mere dust, will meet and be united again with their souls? we, during our abode in the world, from the inductions of reason, believed the immortality of the souls of men; and we also assigned regions for the blessed, which we call the elysian fields; and we believed that the soul was a human image or appearance, but of a fine and delicate nature, because spiritual." after this, the assembly turned to the other stranger, who in the world had been a politician. he confessed that he did not believe in a life after death, and that respecting the new information which he had heard about it, he thought it all fable and fiction. "in my meditations on the subject," said he, "i used to say to myself, 'how can souls be bodies?--does not the whole man lie dead in the grave?--is not the eye there; how can he see?--is not the ear there, how can he hear?--whence must he have a mouth wherewith to speak? supposing anything of a man to live after death, must it not resemble a spectre? and how can a spectre eat and drink, or how can it enjoy conjugial delights? whence can it have clothes, houses, meats, &c.? besides, spectres, which are mere aerial images, appear as if they really existed; and yet they do not. these and similar sentiments i used to entertain in the world concerning the life of men after death; but now, since i have seen all things, and touched them with my hands, i am convinced by my very senses that i am a man as i was in the world; so that i know no other than that i live now as i lived formerly; with only this difference, that my reason now is sounder. at times i have been ashamed of my former thoughts." the philosopher gave much the same account of himself as the politician had done; only differing in this respect, that he considered the new relations which he had heard concerning a life after death, as having reference to opinions and hypotheses which he had collected from the ancients and moderns. when the three strangers had done speaking, the sophi were all in amazement; and those who were of the socratic school, said, that from the news they had heard from the earth, it was quite evident, that the interiors of human minds had been successively closed; and that in the world at this time a belief in what is false shines as truth, and an infatuated ingenuity as wisdom; and that the light of wisdom, since their times, has descended from the interiors of the brain into the mouth beneath the nose, where it appears to the eyes as a shining of the lip, while the speech of the mouth thence proceeding appears as wisdom. hereupon one of the young scholars said, "how stupid are the minds of the inhabitants of the earth at this day! i wish we had here the disciples of heraclitus, who weep at every thing, and of democritus, who laugh at every thing; for then we should hear much lamentation and much laughter." when the assembly broke up, they gave the three novitiates the insignia of their authority, which were copper plates, on which were engraved some hieroglyphic characters; with which they took their leave and departed. . the second memorable relation. i saw in the eastern quarter a grove of palm-trees and laurels, set in winding rows, which i approached and entered; and walking in the winding paths i saw at the end a garden, which formed the centre of the grove. there was a little bridge dividing the grove from the garden, and at the bridge two gates, one on the side next the grove, and the other on the side next the garden. and as i drew near, the keeper opened the gates, and i asked him the name of the garden. he said, "adramandoni; which is the delight of conjugial love." i entered, and lo! there were olive-trees; and among them ran pendulous vines, and underneath and among them were shrubs in flower. in the midst of the garden was a grassy circus, on which were seated husbands and wives, and youths and maidens, in pairs; and in the midst of the circus, on an elevated piece of ground, there was a little fountain, which, from the strength of its spring, threw its water to a considerable height. on approaching the circus i saw two angels clad in purple and scarlet, in conversation with those who were seated on the grass. they were conversing respecting the origin of conjugial love, and respecting its delights; and this being the object of their discourse, the attention was eager, and the reception full; and hence there was an exaltation in the speech of the angels as from the fire of love. i collected the following summary of what was said. they began with the difficulty of investigating and perceiving the origin of conjugial love; because its origin is divinely celestial, it being divine love, divine wisdom, and divine use, which three proceed as a one from the lord, and hence flow as a one into the souls of men, and through their souls into their minds, and there into the interior affections and thoughts, and through these into the desires next to the body, and from these through the breast into the genital region, where all principles derived from their first origin exist together, and, in union with successive principles, constitute conjugial love. after this the angels said, "let us communicate together by questions and answers; since the perception of a thing, imbibed by hearing only, flows in indeed, but does not remain unless the bearer also thinks of it from himself, and asks questions concerning it." then some of that conjugial assembly said to the angels, "we have heard that the origin of conjugial love is divinely celestial; because it is by virtue of influx from the lord into the souls of men; and, as it is from the lord, that it is love, wisdom, and use, which are three essentials, together constituting one divine essence, and that nothing but what is of the divine essence can proceed from him, and flow into the inmost principle of man (_homo_), which is called his soul; and that these three essentials are changed into analogous and corresponding principles in their descent into the body. we ask therefore now in the first place, what is meant by the third proceeding divine essential, which is called use?" the angels replied, "love and wisdom, without use, are only abstract ideas of thought; which also after some continuance in the mind pass away like the winds; but in use they are collected together, and therein become one principle, which is called real. love cannot rest unless it is as work; for love is the essential active principle of life; neither can wisdom exist and subsist unless when it is at work from and with love; and to work is use; therefore we define use to be the doing good from love by wisdom; use being essential good. as these three essentials, love, wisdom, and use, flow into the souls of men, it may appear from what ground it is said, that all good is from god; for every thing done from love by wisdom, is called good; and use also is something done. what is love without wisdom but a mere infatuation? and what is love with wisdom without use, but a puff of the mind? whereas love and wisdom with use not only constitute man (_homo_), but also are man; yea, what possibly you will be surprised at, they propagate man; for in the seed of a man (_vir_) is his soul in a perfect human form, covered with substances from the purest principles of nature; whereof a body is formed in the womb of the mother. this is the supreme and ultimate use of the divine love by the divine wisdom." finally the angels said, "we will hence come to this conclusion, that all fructification, propagation, and prolification, is originally derived from the influx of love, wisdom, and use from the lord, from an immediate influx into the souls of men, from a mediate influx into the souls of animals, and from an influx still more mediate into the inmost principles of vegetables; and all these effects are wrought in ultimates from first principles. that fructifications, propagations, and prolifications, are continuations of creation, is evident; for creation cannot be from any other source, than from divine love by divine wisdom in divine use; wherefore all things in the universe are procreated and formed from use, in use, and for use." afterwards those who were seated on the grassy couches, asked the angels "whence are the innumerable and ineffable delights of conjugial love?" the angels replied, "they are from the uses of love and wisdom, as may be plain from this consideration, that so far as any one loves to grow wise, for the sake of genuine use, so far he is in the vein and potency of conjugial love; and so far as he is in these two, so far he is in the delights thereof. use effects this; because love and wisdom are delighted with each other, and as it were sport together like little children; and as they grow up, they enter into genial conjunction, which is effected by a kind of betrothing, nuptial solemnity, marriage, and propagation, and this with continual variety to eternity. these operations take place between love and wisdom inwardly in use. those delights in their first principles are imperceptible; but they become more and more perceptible as they descend thence by degrees and enter the body. they enter by degrees from the soul into the interiors of a man's mind, from these into its exteriors, from these into the bosom, and from the bosom into the genital region. those celestial nuptial sports in the soul are not at all perceived by man; but they thence insinuate themselves into the interiors of the mind under a species of peace and innocence, and into the exteriors of the mind under a species of blessedness, satisfaction, and delight; in the bosom under a species of the delights of inmost friendship; and in the genital region, from continual influx even from the soul with the essential sense of conjugial love, as the delight of delights. these nuptial sports of love and wisdom in use in the soul, in proceeding towards the bosom, become permanent, and present themselves sensible therein under an infinite variety of delights; and from the wonderful communication of the bosom with the genital region, the delights therein become the delights of conjugial love, which are superior to all other delights in heaven and in the world; because the use of conjugial love is the most excellent of all uses, the procreation of the human race being thence derived, and from the human race the angelic heaven." to this the angels added, that those who are not principled in the love of wisdom for the sake of use from the lord, do not know anything concerning the variety of the innumerable delights of love truly conjugial; for with those who do not love to grow wise from genuine truths, but love to be insane from false principles, and by this insanity perform evil uses from some particular love, the way to the soul is closed: hence the heavenly nuptial sports of love and wisdom in the soul, being more and more intercepted, cease, and together with them conjugial love ceases with its vein, its potency, and its delights. on hearing these statements the audience said, "we now perceive that conjugial love is according to the love of growing wise for the sake of uses from the lord." the angels replied that it was so. and instantly upon the heads of some of the audience there appeared wreaths of flowers; and on their asking, "why is this?" the angels said, "because they have understood more profoundly:" and immediately they departed from the garden, and the latter in the midst of them. * * * * * on the change of the state of life which takes place with men and women by marriage. . what is meant by states of life, and their changes, is very well known to the learned and the wise, but unknown to the unlearned and the simple; wherefore it may be expedient to premise somewhat on the subject. the state of a man's life is its quality; and as there are in every man two faculties which constitute his life, and which are called the understanding and the will, the state of a man's life is its quality as to the understanding and the will. hence it is evident, that changes of the state of life mean changes of quality as to the things appertaining to the understanding and the will. that every man is continually changing as to those two principles, but with a distinction of variations before marriage and after it, is the point proposed to be proved in this section; which shall be done in the following propositions:--i. _the state of a man's (homo) life from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity, is continually changing._ ii. _in like manner a man's internal form which is that of his spirit, is continually changing._ iii. _these changes differ in the case of men and of women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men._ iv. _with men there is an elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women an elevation of the mind into superior heat: and that the woman is made sensible of the delights of her heat in the man's light._ v. _with both men and women, the states of life before marriage are different from what they are afterwards._ vi. _with married partners the states of life after marriage are changed and succeed each other according to the conjunctions of their minds by conjugial love._ vii. _marriage also induces other forms in the souls and minds of married partners._ viii. _the woman is actually formed into a wife according to the description in the book of creation._ ix. _this formation is effected on the part of the wife by secret means; and this is meant by the woman's being created while the man slept._ x. _this formation on the part of the wife is affected by the conjunction of her own will with the internal will of the man._ xi. _the end herein is, that the will of both became one, and that thus both may become one man (homo)._ xii. _this formation on the part of the wife is affected by an appropriation of the affections of the husband._ xiii. _this formation on the part of the wife is effected by a reception of the propagations of the soul of the husband, with the delight arising from her desire to be the love of her husband's wisdom._ xiv. _thus a maiden is formed into a wife, and a youth into a husband._ xv. _in the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom there exists love truly conjugial, the wife becomes more and more a wife and the husband more and more a husband._ xvi. _thus also their forms are successively perfected and ennobled from within._ xvii. _children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from them the conjugial principle of good and truth; whence they have an inclination and faculty, if sons, to perceive the things relating to wisdom, and if daughters, to love those things which wisdom teaches._ xviii. _the reason of this is because the soul of the offspring is from the father and its clothing from the mother._ we proceed to the explanation of each article. . i. the state of a man's (_homo_) life, from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity, is continually changing. the common states of a man's life are called infancy, childhood, youth, manhood, and old age. that every man, whose life is continued in the world, successively passes from one state into another, thus from the first to the last, is well known. the transitions into those ages only become evident by the intervening spaces of time: that nevertheless they are progressive from one moment to another, thus continual, is obvious to reason; for the case is similar with a man as with a tree, which grows and increases every instant of time, even the most minute, from the casting of the seed into the earth. these momentaneous progressions are also changes of state; for the subsequent adds something to the antecedent, which perfects the state. the changes which take place in a man's internals, are more perfectly continuous than those which take place in his externals; because a man's internals, by which we mean the things appertaining to his mind or spirit, are elevated into a superior degree above his externals; and in those principles which are in a superior degree, a thousand effects take place in the same instant in which one effect is wrought in externals. the changes which take place in internals, are changes of the state of the will as to affections, and of the state of the understanding as to thoughts. the successive changes of state of the latter and of the former are specifically meant in the proposition. the changes of these two lives or faculties are perpetual with every man from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity; because there is no end to knowledge, still less to intelligence, and least of all to wisdom; for there is infinity and eternity in the extent of these principles, by virtue of the infinite and eternal one, from whom they are derived. hence comes the philosophical tenet of the ancients, that everything is divisible _in infinitum_; to which may be added, that it is multiplicable in like manner. the angels assert, that by wisdom from the lord they are being perfected to eternity; which also means to infinity; because eternity is the infinity of time. . ii. in like manner a man's (_homo_) internal form which is that of his spirit, is continually changing. the reason why this form is continually changing as the state of the man's life is changed, is, because there is nothing that exists but in a form, and state induces that form; wherefore it is the same whether we say that the state of a man's life is changed, or that its form is changed. all a man's affections and thoughts are in forms, and thence from forms; for forms are their subjects. if affections and thoughts were not in subjects, which are formed, they might exist also in skulls without a brain; which would be the same thing as to suppose sight without an eye, hearing without an ear, and taste without a tongue. it is well known that there are subjects of these senses, and that these subjects are forms. the state of life, and thence the form, with a man, is continually changing; because it is a truth which the wise have taught and still teach, that there does not exist a sameness, or absolute identity of two things, still less of several; as there are not two human faces the same, and still less several: the case is similar in things successive, in that no subsequent state of life is the same as a preceding one; whence it follows, that there is a perpetual change of the state of life with every man, consequently also a perpetual change of form, especially of his internals. but as these considerations do not teach anything respecting marriages, but only prepare the way for knowledges concerning them, and since also they are mere philosophical inquiries of the understanding, which, with some persons, are difficult of apprehension, we will pass them without further discussion. . iii. these changes differ in the case of men and of women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom; and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men. that men were created forms of the understanding, and that women were created forms of the love of the understanding of men, may be explained above, n. . that the changes of state, which succeed both with men and women from infancy to mature age, are for the perfecting of forms, the intellectual form with men, and the voluntary with women, follows as a consequence: hence it is clear, that the changes with men differ from those with women; nevertheless with both, the external form which is of the body is perfected according to the perfecting of the internal form which is of the mind; for the mind acts upon the body, and not _vice versa_. this is the reason why infants in heaven become men of stature and comeliness according as they increase in intelligence; it is otherwise with infants on earth, because they are encompassed with a material body like the animals; nevertheless they agree in this, that they first grow in inclination to such things as allure their bodily senses, and afterwards by little and little to such things as affect the internal thinking sense, and by degrees to such things as tincture the will with affection; and when they arrive at an age which is midway between mature and immature, the conjugial inclination begins, which is that of a maiden to a youth, and of a youth to a maiden; and as maidens in the heavens, like those on earth from an innate prudence conceal their inclination to marriage, the youths there know no other than that they affect the maidens with love; and this also appears to them in consequence of their masculine eagerness; which they also derive from an influx of love from the fair sex; concerning which influx we shall speak particularly elsewhere. from these considerations the truth of the proposition is evident, that the changes of state with men differ from those with women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge, intelligence and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men. . iv. with men there is an elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women an elevation of the mind into superior heat; and the woman is made sensible of the delights of her heat in the man's light. by the light into which men are elevated, we mean intelligence and wisdom; because spiritual light, which proceeds from the sun of the spiritual world, which sun in its essence is love, acts in equality or unity with those two principles; and by the heat into which women are elevated, we mean conjugial love because spiritual heat, which proceeds from the sun of that world, in its essence is love, and with women it is love conjoining itself with intelligence and wisdom in men; which love in its complex is called conjugial love, and by determination becomes that love. it is called elevation into superior light and heat, because it is elevation into the light and heat which the angels of the superior heavens enjoy: it is also an actual elevation, as from a thick mist into pure air, and from an inferior region of the air into a superior, and from thence into ether; therefore elevation into superior light with men is elevation into superior intelligence, and thence into wisdom; in which also there are ascending degrees of elevation; but elevation into superior heat with women is an elevation into chaster and purer conjugial love, and continually towards the conjugial principle, which from creation lies concealed in their inmost principles. these elevations, considered in themselves, are openings of the mind; for the human mind is distinguished into regions, as the world is distinguished into regions as to the atmosphere; the lowest of which is the watery, the next above is the aerial, and still higher is the ethereal, above which there is also the highest: into similar regions the mind of man is elevated as it is opened, with men by wisdom, and with women by love truly conjugial. . we have said, that the woman is made sensible of the delights of her heat in the man's light; by which we mean that the woman is made sensible of the delights of her love in the man's wisdom, because wisdom is the receptacle; and wherever love finds such a receptacle corresponding to itself, it is in the enjoyment of its delights: but we do not mean, that heat with its light is delighted out of forms, but within them; and spiritual heat is delighted with spiritual light in their forms to a greater degree, because those forms by virtue of wisdom and love are vital, and thereby susceptible. this may be illustrated by what are called the sports of heat with light in the vegetable kingdom: out of the vegetable there is only a simple conjunction of heat and light, but within it there is a kind of sport of the one with the other; because there they are in forms or receptacles; for they pass through astonishing meandering ducts, and in the inmost principles therein they tend to use in bearing fruit, and also breathe forth their satisfactions far and wide into the atmosphere, which they fill with fragrance. the delight of spiritual heat with spiritual light is more vividly perceivable in human forms, in which spiritual heat is conjugial love, and spiritual light is wisdom. . v. with both men and women, the states of life before marriage are different from what they are afterwards. before marriage, each sex passes through two states, one previous and the other subsequent to the inclination for marriage. the changes of both these states, and the consequent formations of minds, proceed in successive order according to their continual increase; but we have not leisure now to describe these changes, which are various and different in their several subjects. the inclination to marriage, previous to marriage, are only imaginary in the mind, and become more and more sensible in the body; but the states thereof after marriage are states of conjunction and also of prolification, which, it is evident, differ from the forgoing states as effects differ from intentions. . vi. with married partners the states of life after marriage are changed and succeed each other according to the conjunctions of their minds by conjugial love. the reason why changes of the state and the successions thereof after marriage, with both the man and the wife, are according to conjugial love with each, and thus are either conjunctive or disjunctive of their minds, is, because conjugial love is not only various but also different with conjugial pairs: various, with those who love each other interiorly; for with such it has its intermissions, notwithstanding its being inwardly in its heat regular and permanent; but it is different with those who love each other only exteriorly; for with such its intermissions do not proceed from similar causes, but from alternate cold and heat. the true ground of these differences is, that with the latter the body is the principal agent, the ardour of which spreads itself around, and forcibly draws into communion with it the inferior principles of the mind; whereas, with the former, who love each other interiorly, the mind is the principal agent, and brings the body into communion with it. it appears as if love ascended from the body into the soul; because as soon as the body catches the allurement, it enters through the eyes, as through doors, into the mind, and thus through the sight, as through an outer court, into the thoughts, and instantly into the love: nevertheless it descends from the mind, and acts upon the inferior principles according to their orderly arrangement; therefore the lascivious mind acts lasciviously, and the chaste mind chastely; and the latter arranges the body, whereas the former is arranged by the body. . vii. marriage also induces other forms in the souls and minds of married partners. that marriage has this effect cannot be observed in the natural world; because in this world souls and minds are encompassed with a material body, through which the mind rarely shines: the men (_homines_) also of modern times, more than the ancients, are taught from their infancy to assume feigned countenances, whereby they deeply conceal the affections of their minds; and this is the reason why the forms of minds are not known and distinguished according to their different quality, as existing before marriage and after it: nevertheless that the forms of souls and minds differ after marriage from what they were before, is very manifest from their appearance in the spiritual world; for they are then spirits and angels, who are minds and souls in a human form, stripped of their outward coverings, which had been composed of watery and earthy elements, and of aerial vapors thence arising; and when these are cast off, the forms of the minds are plainly seen, such as they had been inwardly in their bodies; and then it is clearly perceived, that there is a difference in regard to those forms with those who live in marriage, and with those who do not. in general, married partners have an interior beauty of countenance, the man deriving from the wife the ruddy bloom of her love, and the wife from the man the fair splendor of his wisdom; for two married partners in the spiritual world are united as to their souls; and moreover there appears in each a human fulness. this is the case in heaven, because there are no marriages (_conjugia_) in any other place; beneath heaven there are only nuptial connections (_connubia_), which are alternately tied and loosed. . viii. the woman is actually formed into a wife, according to the description in the book of creation. in this book it is said, that the woman was created out of the man's rib, and that the man said, when she was brought to him, "this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and she shall be called eve (_ischah_), because she was taken out of man (_isch_):" gen. chap. ii. - . a rib of the breast, in the word, signifies, in the spiritual sense, natural truth. this is signified by the ribs which the bear carried between his teeth, dan. vii. ; for bears signify those who read the word in the natural sense, and see truths therein without understanding: the man's breast signifies that essential and peculiar principle, which is distinguished from the breast of the woman: that this is wisdom, may be seen above, n. ; for truth supports wisdom as the ribs do the breast. these things are signified, because the breast is that part of a man in which all his principles are as in their centre. from these considerations, it is evident, that the woman was created out of the man by a transfer of his peculiar wisdom, which is the same thing as to be created out of natural truth; and that the love thereof was transferred from the man into the woman, to the end that conjugial love might exist; and that this was done in order that the love of the wife and not self-love might be in the man: for the wife, in consequence of her innate disposition, cannot do otherwise than convert self-love, as existing with the man, into his love to herself; and i have been informed, that this is effected by virtue of the wife's love itself, neither the man nor the wife being conscious of it: hence, no man can possibly love his wife with true conjugial love, who from a principle of self-love is vain and conceited of his own intelligence. when this arcanum relating to the creation of the woman from the man, is understood, it may then be seen, that the woman in like manner is as it were created or formed from the man in marriage; and that this is effected by the wife, or rather through her by the lord, who imparts inclinations to women whereby they produce such an effect: for the wife receives into herself the image of a man, and thereby appropriates to herself his affections, as may be seen above, n. ; and conjoins the man's internal will with her own, of which we shall treat presently; and also claims to herself the propagated forms (_propagines_) of his soul, of which also we shall speak elsewhere. from these considerations it is evident, that, according to the description in the book of genesis, interiorly understood, a woman is formed into a wife by such things as she takes out of the husband and his breast, and implants in herself. . ix. this formation is effected on the part of the wife by secret means; and this is meant by the woman's being created while the man slept. it is written in the book of genesis, that jehovah god caused a deep sleep to fall upon adam, so that he slept; and that then he took one of his ribs, and builded it into a woman: chap. ii. , . that by the man's sleep and sleeping is signified his entire ignorance that the wife is formed and as it were created from him, appears from what was shewn in the preceding chapter, and also from the innate prudence and circumspection of wives, not to divulge anything concerning their love, or their assumption of the affections of the man's life, and thereby of the transfer of his wisdom into themselves. that this is effected on the part of the wife without the husband's knowledge, and while he is as it were sleeping, thus by secret means, is evident from what was explained above, n. - ; where also it is clearly shewn, that the prudence with which women are influenced herein, was implanted in them from creation, and consequently from their birth, for reasons of necessity, so that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together and a happy life, may be secured: wherefore for the right accomplishing of this, the man is enjoined to _leave his father and mother and to cleave to his wife_, gen. ii. ; matt. xix. , . the father and mother, whom the man is to leave, in a spiritual sense signify his _proprium_ of will and _proprium_ of understanding; and the _proprium_ of a man's (_homo_) will is to love himself, and the _proprium_ of his understanding is to love his own wisdom; and to cleave to his wife signifies to devote himself to the love of his wife. those two _propriums_ are deadly evils to man, if they remain with him, and the love of those two _propriums_ is changed into conjugial love, so far as a man cleaves to his wife, that is, so far as he receives her love; see above, n. , and elsewhere. to sleep signifies to be in ignorance and unconcern; a father and a mother signify the two _propriums_ of a man (_homo_), the one of the will and the other of the understanding; and to cleave to, signifies to devote one's self to the love of any one, as might be abundantly confirmed from passages in other parts of the word; but this would be foreign to our present subject. . x. this formation on the part of the wife is effected by the conjunction of her own will with the internal will of the man. that the man possesses rational and moral wisdom, and that the wife conjoins herself with those things which relate to his moral wisdom, may be seen above, n. - . the things which relate to rational wisdom constitute the man's understanding, and those which relate to moral wisdom constitute his will. the wife conjoins herself with those things which constitute the man's will. it is the same, whether we say that the wife conjoins herself, or that she conjoins her will to the man's will; because she is born under the influence of the will, and consequently in all her actions acts from the will. the reason why it is said _with the man's internal will_, is, because the man's will resides in his understanding, and the man's intellectual principle is the inmost principle of the woman, according to what was observed above concerning the formation of the woman from the man, n. , and in other places. the man has also an external will; but this frequently takes its tincture from simulation and dissimulation. this will the wife notices; but she does not conjoin herself with it, except pretendedly or in the way of sport. . xi. the end herein is, that the will of both may become one, and that thus both may become one man (_homo_): for whoever conjoins to himself the will of another, also conjoins to himself his understanding; for the understanding regarded in itself is merely the minister and servant of the will. that this is the case, appears evidently from the affection of love, which moves the understanding to think as it directs. every affection of love belongs to the will; for what a man loves that he also wills. from these considerations it follows, that whoever conjoins to himself the will of a man conjoins to himself the whole man: hence it is implanted as a principle in the wife's love to unite the will of her husband to her own will; for hereby the wife becomes the husband's, and the husband the wife's; thus both become one man (_homo_). . xii. this formation (on the part of the wife) is effected by an appropriation of the affections of the husband. this article agrees with the two preceding, because affections are of the will; for affections which are merely derivations of the love, form the will, and make and compose it; but these affections with men are in the understanding, whereas with women they are in the will. . xiii. this formation (on the part of the wife) is effected by a reception of the propagations of the soul of the husband, with the delight arising from her desire to be the love of her husband's wisdom. this coincides with what was explained above, n. , , therefore any further explanation is needless. conjugial delights with wives arise solely from their desire to be one with their husbands, as good is one with truth in the spiritual marriage. that conjugial love descends from this spiritual marriage, has been proved above in the chapter which treats particularly on that subject; hence it may be seen, as in an image, that the wife conjoins the man to herself, as good conjoins truth to itself; and that the man reciprocally conjoins himself to the wife, according to the reception of her love in himself, as truth reciprocally conjoins itself to good, according to the reception of good in itself; and that thus the love of the wife forms itself by the wisdom of the husband, as good forms itself by truth; for truth is the form of good. from these considerations it is also evident, that conjugial delights with the wife originate principally in her desiring to be one with the husband, consequently to be the love of her husband's wisdom; for in such case she is made sensible of the delights of her own heat in the man's light, according to what was explained in article iv., n. . . xiv. thus a maiden is formed into a wife, and a youth into a husband. this flows as a consequence, from what has been said above in this and the foregoing chapter respecting the conjunction of married partners into one flesh. a maiden becomes or is made a wife, because in a wife there are principles taken out of the husband, and therefore supplemental, which were not previously in her as a maiden: a youth also becomes or is made a husband, because in a husband there are principles taken out of the wife, which exalt his receptibility of love and wisdom, and which were not previously in him as a youth: this is the case with those who are principled in love truly conjugial. that it is these who feel themselves a united man (_homo_), and as it were one flesh, may be seen in the preceding chapter, n. . from these considerations it is evident, that with females the maiden principle is changed into that of a wife, and with men the youthful principle is changed into that of a husband. that this is the case, was experimentally confirmed to me in the spiritual world, as follows: some men asserted, that conjunction with a female before marriage is like conjunction with a wife after marriage.--on hearing this, the wives were very indignant, and said: "there is no likeness at all in the two cases. the difference between them is like that between what is fancied and what is real." hereupon the men rejoined, "are you not females as before?" to this the wives replied more sharply, "we are not females, but wives; you are in fancied and not in real love; you therefore talk fancifully." then the men said, "if you are not females (_feminae_) still you are women (_mulieres_):" and they replied, "in the first states of marriage we were women (_mulieres_); but now we are wives." . xv. in the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom there exists love truly conjugial, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. that love truly conjugial more and more conjoins two into one man (_homo_), may be seen above n. , ; and as a wife becomes a wife from and according to conjunction with the husband, and in like manner the husband with the wife; and as love truly conjugial endures to eternity, it follows, that the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. the true reason of this is, because in the marriage of love truly conjugial, each married partner becomes continually a more interior man; for that love opens the interiors of their minds; and as these are opened, a man becomes more and more a man (_homo_): and to become more a man (_homo_) in the case of the wife is to become more a wife, and in the case of the husband to become more a husband. i have heard from the angels, that the wife becomes more and more a wife as the husband becomes more and more a husband, but not _vice versa_; because it rarely, if ever, happens, that a chaste wife is wanting in love to her husband, but that the husband is wanting in a return of love to his wife; and that this return of love is wanting because he has no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the love of the wife: respecting this wisdom see above n. , - . these things however they said in regard to marriages on earth. . xvi. thus also their forms are successively perfected and ennobled from within. the most perfect and noble human form results from the conjunction of two forms by marriage so as to become one form; thus from two fleshes becoming one flesh, according to creation. that in such case the man's mind is elevated into superior light, and the wife's into superior heat, and that then they germinate, and bear flowers and fruits, like trees in the spring, may be seen above, n. , . that from the nobleness of this form are produced noble fruits, which in the heavens are spiritual, and on earth natural, will be seen in the following article. . xvii. children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from them the conjugial principle of good and truth, whence they have an inclination and faculty, if sons, to perceive the things relating to wisdom, and if daughters, to love those things which wisdom teaches. that children derive from their parents inclination to such things as had been objects of the love and life of the parents, is a truth most perfectly agreeable to the testimony of history in general, and of experience in particular; but that they do not derive or inherit from their parents the affections themselves, and thence the lives of those affections, but only inclinations and faculties thereto, has been shewn me by the wise in the spiritual world; concerning whom, see the two memorable relations above adduced. that children to the latest posterity, from innate inclinations, if they are not modified, are led into affections, thoughts, speech, and life, similar to those of their parents, is clearly manifest from the jews, who at this day are like their fathers in egypt, in the wilderness, in the land of canaan, and in the lord's time; and this likeness is not confined to their minds only, but extends to their countenances; for who does not know a jew by his look? the case is the same with the descendants of others: from which considerations it may infallibly be concluded, that children are born with inclinations to such things as their parents were inclined to. but it is of the divine providence, lest thought and act should follow inclination, that perverse inclinations may be corrected; and also that a faculty has been implanted for this purpose, by virtue whereof parents and masters have the power of amending the morals of children, and children may afterwards, when they come to years of discretion, amend their own morals. . we have said that children derive from their parents the conjugial principle of good and truth, because this is implanted from creation in the soul of every one; for it is that which flows into every man from the lord, and constitutes his human life. but this conjugial principle passes into derivatives from the soul even to the ultimates of the body. in its passage through these ultimates and those derivatives, it is changed by the man himself in various ways, and sometimes into the opposite, which is called the conjugial or connubial principle of what is evil and false. when this is the case, the mind is closed from beneath, and is sometimes twisted as a spire into the contrary; but with some that principle is not closed, but remains half-open above, and with some open. the latter and the former conjugial principle is the source of those inclinations which children inherit from their parents, a son after one manner, and a daughter after another. the reason why such inclinations are derived from the conjugial principle, is, because, as was proved above, n. , conjugial love is the foundation of all loves. . the reason why children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive inclinations and faculties, if a son, to perceive the things relating to wisdom, and if a daughter, to love the things which wisdom teaches, is, because the conjugial principle of good and truth is implanted from creation in every soul, and also in the principles derived from the soul; for it was shewn above, that this conjugial principle fills the universe from first principles to last, and from a man even to a worm; and also that the faculty to open the inferior principles of the mind even to conjunction with its superior principles, which are in the light and heat of heaven, is also implanted in every man from creation: hence it is evident, that a superior suitableness and facility to conjoin good to truth, and truth to good, and thus to grow wise, is inherited by those who are born from such a marriage; consequently they have a superior suitableness and facility also to embrace the things relating to the church and heaven; for that conjugial love is conjoined with these things, has been frequently shewn above. from these considerations, reason may clearly discover the end for which the lord the creator has provided, and still provides, marriages of love truly conjugial. . i have been informed by the angels, that those who lived in the most ancient times, live at this day in the heavens, in separate houses, families, and nations, as they had lived on earth, and that scarce any one of a house is wanting; and this because they were principled in love truly conjugial; and that hence their children inherited inclinations to the conjugial principle of good and truth, and were easily initiated into it more and more interiorly by education received from their parents, and afterwards as from themselves, when they become capable of judging for themselves, were introduced into it by the lord. . xviii. the reason of this is because the soul of the offspring is from the father and its clothing from the mother. no wise man entertains a doubt that the soul is from the father; it is also manifestly conspicuous from minds, and likewise from faces which are the types of minds, in descendants from fathers of families in a regular series; for the father returns as in an image, if not in his sons, yet in his grandsons and great grandsons; and this because the soul constitutes a man's (_homo_) inmost principle, which may be covered and concealed by the offspring nearest in descent, but nevertheless it comes forth and manifests itself in the more remote issue. that the soul is from the father, and its clothing from the mother, may be illustrated by analogies in the vegetable kingdom. in this kingdom the earth or ground is the common mother, which in itself, as in a womb, receives and clothes seeds; yea, as it were conceives, bears, brings forth, and educates them, as a mother her offspring from the father. . to the above i will add two memorable relations. first. after some time i was looking towards the city athens, of which mention was made in a former memorable relation, and i heard thence an unusual clamor. there was in it something of laughter, and in the laughter something of indignation, and in the indignation something of sadness: still however the clamor was not thereby dissonant, but consonant: because one tone was not together with the other, but one was within another. in the spiritual world a variety and commixture of affections is distinctly perceived in sound. i inquired from afar what was the matter. they said, "a messenger is arrived from the place where the new comers from the christian world first appear, bringing information of what he has heard there from three persons, that in the world whence they came they had believed with the generality, that the blessed and happy after death enjoy absolute rest from labor; and since administrations, offices, and employments, are labor, they enjoy rest from these: and as those three persons are now conducted hither by our emissary, and are at the gate waiting for admission, a clamor was made, and it was deliberately resolved they should not be introduced into the palladium on parnassus, as the former were, but into the great auditory, to communicate the news they brought from the christian world: accordingly some deputies have been sent to introduce them in form." being at that time myself in the spirit, and distances with spirits being according to the states of their affections, and having at that time a desire to see and hear them, i seemed to myself to be present there, and saw them introduced, and heard what they said. the seniors or wiser part of the audience sat at the sides of the auditory, and the rest in the midst; and before these was an elevated piece of ground. hither the three strangers, with the messenger, were formally conducted by attendants, through the middle of the auditory. when silence was obtained, they were addressed by a kind of president of the assembly, and asked, "what news from the earth?" they replied, "there is a variety of news: but pray tell us what information you want." the president answered, "what news is there from the earth concerning our world and heaven?" they replied, "when we first came into this world, we were informed, that here and in heaven there are administrations, offices, employments, trades, studies, relating to all sciences and professions, together with wonderful mechanical arts; and yet we believed that after our removal or translation from the natural world into the spiritual, we should enter upon an eternal rest from labor; and what are employments but labor?" to this the president replied, "by eternal rest from labor did you understand eternal inactivity, in which you should be continually sitting and laying down, with your bosoms and mouths open, attracting and inhaling delights and joys?" "we conceived something of this sort," said the three strangers smiling courteously. then they were asked, "what connection have joys and delights and the happiness thence resulting, with a state of inactivity? by inactivity the mind is enfeebled and contracted, instead of being strengthened and expanded; or in other words, the man is reduced to a state of death, instead of being quickened into life. suppose a person to sit still in the most complete inactivity, with his hands hanging down, his eyes fixed on the ground, and withdrawn from all other objects, and suppose him at the same time to be encompassed by an atmosphere of gladness, would not a lethargy seize both his head and body, and the vital expansion of his countenance would be contracted, and at length with relaxed fibres he would nod and totter, till he fell to the earth? what is it that keeps the whole bodily system in its due expansion and tension, but the tension of the mind? and whence comes the tension of the mind but from administrations and employments, while the discharge of them is attended with delight? i will therefore tell you some news from heaven: in that world there are administrations, offices, judicial proceedings both in greater and lesser cases, also mechanical arts and employments." the strangers on hearing of judicial proceedings in heaven, said, "to what purpose are such proceedings? are not all in heaven inspired and led by god, and in consequence thereof taught what is just and right? what need then is there of judges?" the president replied, "in this world we are instructed and learn what is good and true, also what is just and equitable, as in the natural world; and these things we learn, not immediately from god, but mediately through others; and every angel, like every man, thinks what is true, and does what is good, as from himself; and this, according to the state of the angel, is mixed and not pure: and moreover, there are among the angels some of a simple and some of a wise character; and it is the part of the wise to judge, when the simple, from their simplicity and ignorance, are doubtful about what is just, or through mistake wander from it. but as you are as yet strangers in this world, if it be agreeable to you to accompany me into our city, we will shew you all that is contained therein." then they quitted the auditory, and some of the elders also accompanied them. they were introduced into a large library, which was divided into classes arranged according to the sciences. the three strangers, on seeing so many books, were astonished, and said, "there are books also in this world! whence do you procure parchment and paper, pens and ink?" the elders replied, "we perceive that in the former world you believed that this world is empty and void, because it is spiritual; and you believed so because you had conceived an idea of what is spiritual abstracted from what is material; and that which is so abstracted appeared to you as nothingness, thus as empty and void; when nevertheless in this world there is a fulness of all things. here all things are substantial and not material: and material things derive their origin from things substantial. we who live here are spiritual men, because we are substantial and not material; hence in this world we have all things that are in the natural world, in their perfection, even books and writings, and many other things which are not in the natural world." the three strangers, when they heard talk of things substantial, conceived that it must be so, as well because they saw written books, as because they heard it asserted that material things originate in substantial. for their further confirmation in these particulars, they were conducted to the houses of the scribes, who were copying the writings of the wise ones of the city; and they inspected the writings, and wondered to see them so beautiful and elegant. after this they were conducted to the museums, schools, and colleges, and to the places where they had their literary sports. some of these were called the sports of the heliconides, some of the parnassides, some of the athæides, and some the sports of the maidens of the fountain. they were told that the latter were so called, because maidens signify affections of the sciences, and every one has intelligence according to his affection for the sciences: the sports so called were spiritual exercises and trials of skill. afterwards they were led about the city to see the rulers, administrators, and their officers, by whom they were conducted to see several wonderful works executed in a spiritual manner by the artificers. when they had taken a view of all these things, the president again conversed with them about the eternal rest from labor, into which the blessed and happy enter after death, and said, "eternal rest is not inactivity; for inactivity occasions a thorough languor, dulness, stupor, and drowsiness of the mind and thence of the body; and these things are death and not life, still less eternal life which the angels of heaven enjoy; therefore eternal rest is that which dispels such mischiefs, and causes a man to live; and it is this which elevates the mind; consequently it is by some employment and work that the mind is excited, vivified, and delighted; which is affected according to the use, from which, in which, and to which the mind is actuated. hence the universal heaven is regarded by the lord as containing uses; and every angel is an angel according to use; the delight of use carries him along, as a prosperous gale a ship, and causes him to be in eternal peace, and the rest of peace. this is the meaning of eternal rest from labor. that an angel is alive according as his mind is directed to use, is evident from the consideration, that every one has conjugial love with its energy, ability and delights, according as he devotes himself to the genuine use in which he is." when the three strangers were convinced that eternal rest is not inactivity, but the delight of some useful employment, there came some maidens with pieces of embroidery and net-work, wrought with their own hands, which they presented to them. when the novitiate spirits were gone, the maidens sang an ode, wherein they expressed with angelic melody the affection of useful works with the pleasures attending it. . the second memorable relation. while i was meditating on the arcana of conjugial love stored up with wives, there again appeared the golden shower described above; and i recollected that it fell over a hall in the east where there lived three conjugial loves, that is, three married pairs, who loved each other tenderly. on seeing it, and as if invited by the sweetness of meditating on that love, i hastened towards it, and as i approached, the shower from golden became purple, afterwards scarlet, and when i came near, it was sparkling like dew. i knocked at the door, and when it was opened, i said to the attendant, "tell the husbands that the person who before came with an angel, is come again, and begs the favor of being admitted into their company." presently the attendant returned with a message of assent from the husbands, and i entered. the three husbands with their wives were together in an open gallery, and as i paid my respects to them, they returned the compliment. i then asked the wives, whether the white dove in the window afterwards appeared? they said, "yes; and to-day also; and it likewise expanded its wings; from which we concluded that you were near at hand, and were desirous of information respecting one other arcanum concerning conjugial love." i inquired, "why do you say _one_ arcanum; when i came here to learn several?" they replied, "they are arcana, and some of them transcend your wisdom to such a degree, that the understanding of your thought cannot comprehend them. you glory over us on account of your wisdom; but we do not glory over you on account of ours; and yet ours is eminently distinguished above yours, because it enters your inclinations and affections, and sees, perceives, and is sensible of them. you know nothing at all of the inclinations and affections of your own love; and yet these are the principles from and according to which your understanding thinks, consequently from and according to which you are wise; and yet wives are so well acquainted with those principles in their husbands, that they see them in their faces, and hear them from the tone of their voices in conversation, yea, they feel them on their breasts, arms, and cheeks: but we, from the zeal of our love for your happiness, and at the same time for our own, pretend not to know them; and yet we govern them so prudently, that wherever the fancy, good pleasure, and will of our husbands lead, we follow by permitting and suffering it; only bending its direction when it is possible, but in no case forcing it." i asked, "whence have you this wisdom?" they replied, "it is implanted in us from creation and consequently from birth. our husbands compare it to instinct; but we say that it is of the divine providence, in order that the men may be rendered happy by their wives. we have heard from our husbands, that the lord wills that the husband (_homo masculus_) should act freely according to reason; and that on this account the lord himself from within governs his freedom, so far as respects the inclinations and affections, and governs it from without by means of his wife; and that thus he forms a man with his wife into an angel of heaven; and moreover love changes its essence, and does not become conjugial love, if it be compelled. but we will be more explicit on this subject: we are moved thereto, that is, to prudence in governing the inclinations and affections of our husbands, so that they may seem to themselves to act freely according to their reason, from this motive, because we are delighted with their love; and we love nothing more than that they should be delighted with our delights, which, in case of their being lightly esteemed by our husbands, become insipid also to us." having said this, one of the wives entered her chamber, and on her return said, "my dove still flutters its wings, which is a sign that we may make further disclosures." they then said, "we have observed various changes of the inclinations and affections of the men; as that they grow cold towards their wives, while the husbands entertain vain thoughts against the lord and the church; that they grow cold while they are conceited of their own intelligence; that they grow cold while they regard with desire the wives of others; that they grow cold while their love is adverted to by their wives; not to mention other occasions; and that there are various degrees of their coldness: this we discover from a withdrawal of the sense from their eyes, ears, and bodies, on the presence of our senses. from these few observations you may see, that we know better than the men whether it be well or ill with them; if they are cold towards their wives, it is ill with them, but if they are warm towards them, it is well; therefore wives are continually devising means whereby the men may become warm and not cold towards them; and these means they devise with a sagacity inscrutable to the men." as they said this, the dove was heard to make a sort of moaning; and immediately the wives said, "this is a token to us that we have a wish to communicate greater arcana, but that it is not allowable: probably you will reveal to the men what you have heard." i replied, "i intend to do so: what harm can come from it?" hereupon the wives talked together on the subject, and then said, "reveal it, if you like. we are well aware of the power of persuasion which wives possess. they will say to their husbands, 'the man is not in earnest; he tells idle tales: he is but joking from appearances, and from strange fancies usual with men. do not believe him, but believe us: we know that you are loves, and we obediences.' therefore you may reveal it if you like; but still the husbands will place no dependence on what comes from your lips, but on that which comes from the lips of their wives which they kiss." * * * * * universals respecting marriages. . there are so many things relating to marriages that, if particularly treated of, they would swell this little work into a large volume: for we might treat particularly of the similitude and dissimilitude subsisting among married partners; of the elevation of natural conjugial love into spiritual, and of their conjunction; of the increase of the one and the decrease of the other; of the varieties and diversities of each; of the intelligence of wives; of the universal conjugial sphere proceeding from heaven, and of its opposite from hell, and of their influx and reception; with many other particulars, which, if individually enlarged upon, would render this work so bulky as to tire the reader. for this reason, and to avoid useless prolixity, we will condense these particulars into universal respecting marriages. but these, like the foregoing subjects, must be considered distinctly as arranged under the following articles: i. _the sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch._ ii. _with those who are in love truly conjugial, the faculty of growing wise gradually increases; but with those who are not it decreases._ iii. _with those who are in love truly conjugial the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not it decreases._ iv. _with those who are in love truly conjugial, conjunction of minds increases, and therewith friendship; but with those who are not they both decrease._ v. _those who are in love truly conjugial continually desire to be one man (homo); but those who are not desire to be two._ vi. _those who are in love truly conjugial, in marriage have respect to what is eternal; but with those who are not the case is reversed._ vii. _conjugial love resides with chaste wives; but still their love depends on the husbands._ viii. _wives love the bonds of marriage if the men do._ ix. _the intelligence of women is in itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; but the intelligence of men is in itself grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of licentiousness_. x. _wives are in no excitation as men are; but they have a state of preparation for reception._ xi. _men have abundant store according to the love of propagating the truths of their wisdom, and to the love of doing uses._ xii. _determination is in the good pleasure of the husband._ xiii. _the conjugial sphere flows from the lord through heaven into everything in the universe, even to its ultimates._ xiv. _this sphere is received by the female sex, and through that is transferred into the male sex; and not_ vice versa. xv. _where there is love truly conjugial, this sphere is received by the wife, and only through her by the husband._ xvi. _where there is love not conjugial, this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband through her._ xvii. _love truly conjugial may exist with one of the married partners and not at the same time with the other._ xviii. _there are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external, with married partners._ xix. _various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes._ xx. _the lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial; and if not on earth, he yet provides them in heaven._ xxi. _a man (homo) according to the deficiency and loss of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast._ we proceed to the explanation of each article. . i. the sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch. every love has its own proper sense. the love of seeing, grounded in the love of understanding, has the sense of seeing; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of symmetry and beauty. the love of hearing grounded in the love of hearkening to and obeying, has the sense of hearing; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of harmony. the love of knowing these things which float about in the air, grounded in the love of perceiving, is the sense of smelling; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of fragrance. the love of self-nourishment, grounded in the love of imbibing goods, is the sense of tasting; and the delights proper to it are the various kinds of delicate foods. the love of knowing objects, grounded in the love of circumspection and self-preservation, is the sense of touching, and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of titillation. the reason why the love of conjunction with a partner, grounded in the love of uniting good and truth, has the sense of touch proper to it, is, because this sense is common to all the senses, and hence borrows from them somewhat of support and nourishment. that this love brings all the above-mentioned senses into communion with it, and appropriates their gratification, is well known. that the sense of touch is devoted to conjugial love, and is proper to it, is evident from all its sports, and from the exaltation of its subtleties to the highest degree of what is exquisite. but the further consideration of this subject we leave to lovers. . ii. with those who are in love truly conjugial, the faculty of growing wise increases; but with those who are not it decreases. the faculty of growing wise increases with those who are in love truly conjugial, because this love appertains to married partners on account of wisdom, and according to it, as has been fully proved in the preceding sections; also, because the sense of that love is the touch, which is common to all the senses, and also is full of delights; in consequence of which it opens the interiors of the mind, as it opens the interiors of the senses, and therewith the organical principles of the whole body. hence it follows, that those who are principled in that love, prefer nothing to growing wise; for a man grows wise in proportion as the interiors of his mind are opened; because by such opening, the thoughts of the understanding are elevated into superior light, and the affections of the will into superior heat; and superior light is wisdom, and superior heat is the love thereof. spiritual delights conjoined to natural delights, which are the portion of those who are in love truly conjugial, constitute loveliness, and thence the faculty of growing wise. hence it is that the angels have conjugial love according to wisdom; and the increase of that love and at the same time of its delights is according to the increase of wisdom; and spiritual offspring, which are produced from their marriages, are such things as are of wisdom from the father, and of love from the mother, which they love from a spiritual _storge_; which love unites with their conjugial love, and continually elevates it, and joins them together. . the contrary happens with those who are not in any conjugial love, from not having any love of wisdom. these enter the marriage state with no other end in view than lasciviousness, in which is also the love of growing insane; for every end considered in itself is a love, and lasciviousness in its spiritual origin is insanity. by insanity we mean a delirium in the mind occasioned by false principles; and an eminent degree of delirium is occasioned by truths which are falsified until they are believed to be wisdom. that such persons are opposed to conjugial love, is confirmed or evinced by manifest proof in the spiritual world; where, on perceiving the first scent of conjugial love, they fly into caverns, and shut the doors; and if these are opened, they rave like madmen in the world. . iii. with those who are in love truly conjugial, the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not it decreases. the happiness of dwelling together increases with those who are in love truly conjugial, because they mutually love each other with every sense. the wife sees nothing more lovely than the husband, and the husband nothing more lovely than the wife; neither do they hear, smell, or touch any thing more lovely; hence the happiness they enjoy of living together in the same house, chamber, and bed. that this is the case, you that are husbands can assure yourselves from the first delights of marriage, which are in their fulness; because at that time the wife is the only one of the sex that is loved. that the reverse is the case with those who are not in conjugial love, is well known. . iv. with those who are in love truly conjugial conjunction of minds increases, and therewith friendship; but with those who are not, they both decrease. that conjunction of minds increases with those who are in love truly conjugial, was proved in the chapter on the conjunction of souls and minds by marriage, which is meant by the lord's words, that they are no longer two but one flesh, see n. *- . but that conjunction increases as friendship unites with love; because friendship is as it were the face and also the raiment of that love; for it not only joins itself to love as raiment, but also conjoins itself thereto as a face. love preceding friendship is like the love of the sex, which, after the marriage vow, takes its leave and departs; whereas love conjoined to friendship after the marriage vow, remains and is strengthened; it likewise outers more interiorly into the breast, friendship introducing it, and making it truly conjugial. in this case the love makes its friendship also conjugial, which differs greatly from the friendship of every other love; for it is full. that the case is reversed with those who are not principled in conjugial love, is well known. with these, the first friendship, which was insinuated during the time of courtship, and afterwards during the period immediately succeeding marriage, recedes more and more from the interiors of the mind, and thence successively at length retires to the cuticles; and with those who think of separation it entirely departs; but with those who do not think of separation, love remains in the externals, yet it is cold in the internals. . v. those who are in love truly conjugial, continually desire to be one man, but those who are not in conjugial love, desire to be two. conjugial love essentially consists in the desire of two to become one; that is, in their desire that two lives may become one life. this desire is the perpetual _conatus_ of that love, from which flow all its effects. that _conatus_ is the very essence of motion, and that desire is the living _conatus_ appertaining to man, is confirmed by the researches of philosophers, and is also evident to such as take a view of the subject from refined reason. hence it follows, that those who are in love truly conjugial, continually endeavour, that is, desire to be one man. that the contrary is the case with those who are not in conjugial love, they themselves very well know; for as they continually think themselves two from the disunion of their souls and minds, so they do not comprehend what is meant by the lord's words, "_they are no longer two, but one flesh_;" matt. xix. . . vi. those who are in love truly conjugial, in marriage have respect to what is eternal; but with those who are not the case is reversed. those who are in love truly conjugial have respect to what is eternal, because in that love there is eternity; and its eternity is grounded in this, that love with the wife, and wisdom with the husband, increases to eternity; and in the increase or progression the married partners enter more and more interiorly into the blessedness of heaven, which their wisdom and its love have stored up together in themselves: if therefore the idea of what is eternal were to be plucked away, or by any casualty to escape from their minds, it would be as if they were cast down from heaven. what is the state of conjugial partners in heaven, when the idea of what is eternal falls out of their minds, and the idea of what is temporal takes its place, was made evident to me from the following case. on a certain time, permission having been granted for the purpose, two married partners were present with me from heaven: and at that instant the idea of what is eternal respecting marriage was taken away from them by an idle disorderly spirit who was talking with craft and subtlety. hereupon they began to bewail themselves, saying, that they could not live any longer, and that they felt such misery as they had never felt before. when this was perceived by their co-angels in heaven, the disorderly spirit was removed and cast down; whereupon the idea of what is eternal instantly returned to them, and they were gladdened in heart, and most tenderly embraced each other. besides this, i have heard two married partners, who at one instant entertained an idea of what is eternal respecting their marriage, and the next an idea of what is temporal. this arose from their being internally dissimilar. when they were in the idea of what is eternal, they were mutually glad; but when in the idea of what is temporal, they said, "there is no longer any marriage between us;" and the wife, "i am no longer a wife, but a concubine;" and the husband, "i am no longer a husband, but an adulterer;" wherefore while their internal dissimilitude was open to them, the man left the woman, and the woman the man: afterwards, however, as each had an idea of what is eternal respecting marriage, they were consociated with suitable partners. from these instances it may be clearly seen, that those who are in love truly conjugial have respect to what is eternal; and if this idea escapes from their inmost thoughts, they are disunited as to conjugial love, though not at the same time as to friendship; for friendship dwells in externals, but conjugial love in internals. the case is similar with marriages on earth, where married partners who tenderly love each other, think of what is eternal respecting the marriage-covenant, and not at all of its termination by death; and if this should enter their thoughts, they are grieved; nevertheless they are cherished again by hope from the thought of its continuance after their decease. [transcriber's note: the out-of-order section number which follows is in the original text, as is the asterisk which does not seem to indicate a footnote.] .* vii. conjugial love resides with chaste wives; but still their love depends on the husbands. the reason of this is, because wives are born loves; and hence it is innate to them to desire to be one with their husbands and from this thought of their will they continually feed their love; wherefore to recede from the _conatus_ of uniting themselves to their husbands, would be to recede from themselves: it is otherwise with the husbands, who are not born loves, but recipients of that love from their wives; and on this account, so far as they receive it, so far the wives enter with their love; but so far as they do not receive it, so far the wives stand aloof with their love, and wait in expectation. this is the case with chaste wives; but it is otherwise with the unchaste. from these considerations it is evident, that conjugial love resides with the wives, but that their love depends on the husbands. . viii. wives love the bonds of marriage if the men do. this follows from what was said in the foregoing article: moreover, wives naturally desire to be, and to be called wives; this being to them a name of respect and honor; they therefore love the bonds of marriage. and as chaste wives desire, not in name only, but in reality, to be wives, and this is effected by a closer and closer binding with their husbands, therefore they love the bonds of marriage as establishing the marriage-covenant, and this so much the more as they are loved again by their husbands, or what is tantamount, as the men love those bonds. . ix. the intelligence of women is in itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; but the intelligence of men in itself is grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of licentiousness. that such is the characteristic distinction of the woman and the man, is very evident from the body, the face, the tone of voice, the conversation, the gesture, and the manners of each: from the body, in that there is more hardness in the skin and flesh of men, and more softness in that of women; from the face, in that it is harder, more fixed, harsher, of darker complexion, also bearded, thus less beautiful in men; whereas in women it is softer, more yielding, more tender, of fairer complexion, and thence more beautiful; from the tone of voice, in that it is deeper with men, and sweeter with women; from the conversation in that with men it is given to licentiousness and daring, but with women it is modest and pacific; from the gesture, in that with men it is stronger and firmer, whereas with women it is more weak and feeble; from the manners, in that with men they are more unrestrained, but with women more elegant. how far from the very cradle the genius of men differs from that of women, was discovered to me clearly from seeing a number of boys and girls met together. i saw them at times through a window in the street of a great city, where more than twenty assembled every day. the boys, agreeably to the disposition born with them, in their pastimes were tumultuous, vociferous, apt to fight, to strike, and to throw stones at each other; whereas the girls sat peaceably at the doors of the houses, some playing with little children, some dressing dolls or working on bits of linen, some kissing each other; and to my surprise, they still looked with satisfaction at the boys whose pastimes were so different from their own. hence i could see plainly, that a man by birth is understanding, and a woman, love; and also the quality of understanding and of love in their principles; and thereby what would be the quality of a man's understanding without conjunction with female love, and afterwards with conjugial love. . x. wives are in no excitation as men are; but they have a state of preparation for reception. that men have semination and consequent excitation, and that women have not the latter because they have not the former, is evident, but that women have a state of preparation for reception, and thus for conception, i relate from what has been told me; but what the nature and quality of this state with the women is, i am not allowed to describe; besides, it is known to them alone: but whether their love, while they are in that state, is in the enjoyment of its delight, or in what is undelightful, as some say, they have not made known. this only is generally known, that it is not allowed the husband to say to the wife, that he is able and not willing: for thereby the state of reception is greatly hurt, which is prepared according to the state of the husband's ability. . xi. men have abundant store according to the love of propagating the truths of wisdom, and to the love of doing uses. this position is one of the arcana which were known to the ancients, and which are now lost. the ancients knew that everything which was done in the body is from a spiritual origin: as that from the will, which in itself is spiritual, actions flow; that from the thought, which also is spiritual, speech flows; also that natural sight is grounded in spiritual sight, which is that of the understanding; natural hearing in spiritual hearing, which is attention of the understanding and at the same time accommodation of the will; and natural smelling in spiritual smelling, which is perception; and so forth: in like manner they saw that semination with men is from a spiritual origin. that it is from the truths of which the understanding consists, they concluded from several deductions both of reason and of experience; and they asserted, that nothing is received by males from the spiritual marriage, which is that of good and truth, and which flows into everything in the universe, but truth, and whatever has relation to truth; and that this in its progress into the body is formed into seed; and that hence it is, that seeds spiritually understood are truths. as to formation, they asserted, that the masculine soul, as being intellectual, is thus truth; for the intellectual principle is nothing else; wherefore while the soul descends, truth also descends: that this is effected by this circumstance, that the soul, which is the inmost principle of every man (_homo_) and every animal, and which in its essence is spiritual, from an implanted tendency to self-propagation, follows in the descent, and is desirous to procreate itself; and that when this is the case, the entire soul forms itself, and clothes itself, and becomes seed: and that this may be done thousands of times, because the soul is a spiritual substance, which is not a subject of extension but of impletion, and from which no part can be taken away, but the whole may be produced, without any loss thereof: hence it is, that it is as fully present in the smallest receptacles, which are seeds, as in its greatest receptacle, the body. since therefore the principle of truth in the soul is the origin of seed, it follows, that men have abundant store according to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom: it is also according to their love of doing uses; because uses are the goods which truths produce. in the world also it is well known to some, that the industrious have abundant store, but not the idle. i inquired, "how is a feminine principle produced from a male soul?" and i received for answer, that it was from intellectual good; because this in its essence is truth: for the intellect can think that this is good, thus that it is true that it is good. it is otherwise with the will: this does not think what is good and true, but loves and does it. therefore in the word sons signify truths, and daughters goods, as may be seen above, n. ; and seed signifies truth, as may be seen in the apocalypse revealed, n. . . xii. determination is in the good pleasure of the husband. this is, because with men there is the abundant store above mentioned; and this varies with them according to the states of their minds and bodies: for the understanding is not so constant in its thoughts as the will is in its affections; since it is sometimes carried upwards, sometimes downwards; at one time it is in a serene and clear state in another in a turbulent and obscure one; sometimes it is employed on agreeable objects, sometimes on disagreeable; and as the mind, while it acts, is also in the body, it follows, that the body has similar states: hence the husband at times recedes from conjugial love, and at times accedes to it, and the abundant store is removed in the one state, and restored in the other. these are the reasons why determination at all times is to be left to the good pleasure of the husband: hence also it is that wives, from a wisdom implanted in them, never offer any admonition on such subjects. . xiii. the conjugial sphere flows from the lord through heaven into everything in the universe, even to its ultimates. that love and wisdom, or, what is the same, good and truth, proceed from the lord, was shewn above in a chapter on the subject. those two principles in a marriage proceed continually from the lord, because they are himself, and from him are all things; and the things which proceed from him fill the universe, for unless this were the case, nothing which exists would subsist. there are several spheres which proceed from him; the sphere of the conservation of the created universe; the sphere of the defence of good and truth against evil and false, the sphere of reformation and regeneration, the sphere of innocence and peace, the sphere of mercy and grace, with several others; but the universal of all is the conjugial sphere, because this also is the sphere of propagation, and thus the supereminent sphere of the conservation of the created universe by successive generations. that this conjugial sphere fills the universe, and pervades all things from first to last, is evident from what has been shewn above, that there are marriages in the heavens, and the most perfect in the third or supreme heaven: and that besides taking place with men it takes place also with all the subjects of the animal kingdom in the earth, even down to worms; and moreover with all the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, from olives and palms even to the smallest grasses. that this sphere is more universal than the sphere of heat and light, which proceeds from the sun of our world, may appear reasonable from this consideration, that it operates also in the absence of the sun's heat, as in winter, and in the absence of its light, as in the night, especially with men (_homines_). the reason why it so operates is, because it was from the sun of the angelic heaven, and thence there is a constant equation of heat and light, that is, a conjunction of good and truth; for it is in a continual spring. the changes of good and truth, or of its heat and light, are not variations thereof, like the variations on earth arising from changes of the heat and light proceeding from the natural sun; but they arise from the recipient subjects. . xiv. this sphere is received by the female sex, and through that is transferred to the male sex. there is not any conjugial love appertaining to the male sex, but it appertains solely to the female sex, and from this sex is transferred to the male: this i have seen evidenced by experience; concerning which see above, n. . a further proof of it is supplied from this consideration, that the male form is the intellectual form, and the female the voluntary; and the intellectual form cannot grow warm with conjugial heat from itself, but from the conjunctive heat of some one, in whom it was implanted from creation; consequently it cannot receive that love except by the voluntary form of the woman adjoined to itself; because this also is a form of love. this same position might be further confirmed by the marriage of good and truth; and, to the natural man, by the marriage of the heart and lungs; for the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to understanding; but as the generality of mankind are deficient in the knowledge of these subjects, confirmation thereby would tend rather to obscure than to illustrate. it is in consequence of the transference of this sphere from the female sex into the male, that the mind is also inflamed solely from thinking about the sex; that hence also comes propagative formation and thereby excitation, follows of course; for unless heat is united to light on earth, nothing flourishes and is excited to cause fructification there. . xv. where there is love truly conjugial, this sphere is received by the wife, and only through her by the husband. that this sphere, with those who are in love truly conjugial, is received by the husband only through the wife, is at this day an arcanum; and yet in itself it is not an arcanum, because the bridegroom and new-married husband may know this; is he not affected conjugially by whatever proceeds from the bride and new-married wife, but not at that time by what proceeds from others of the sex? the case is the same with those who live together in love truly conjugial. and since everyone, both man and woman, is encompassed by his own sphere of life, densely on the breast, and less densely on the back, it is manifest whence it is that husbands who are very fond of their wives, turn themselves to them, and in the day-time regard them with complacency; and on the other hand, why those who do not love their wives, turn themselves away from them, and in the day-time regard them with aversion. by the reception of the conjugial sphere by the husband only through the wife, love truly conjugial is known and distinguished from that which is spurious, false, and cold. . xvi. where there is love not conjugial, this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband through her. this conjugial sphere flowing into the universe is in its origin divine; in its progress in heaven with the angels it is celestial and spiritual; with men it is natural, with beasts and birds animal, with worms merely corporeal, with vegetables it is void of life; and moreover in all its subjects it is varied according to their forms. now as this sphere is received immediately by the female sex, and mediately by the male, and as it is received according to forms, it follows, that this sphere, which in its origin is holy, may in the subjects be turned into what is not holy, yea may be even inverted into what is opposite. the sphere opposite to it is called meretricious with such women, and adulterous with such men; and as such men and women are in hell, this sphere is from thence: but of this sphere there is also much variety, and hence there are several species of it; and such a species is attracted and appropriated by a man (_vir_) as is agreeable to him, and as is conformable and correspondent with his peculiar temper and disposition. from these considerations it may appear, that the man who does not love his wife, receives that sphere from some other source than from his wife; nevertheless it is a fact, that it is also inspired by the wife, but without the husband's knowing it, and while he grows warm. . xvii. love truly conjugial may exist with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other. for one may from the heart devote himself to chaste marriage, while the other knows not what chaste marriage is; one may love the things which are of the church, but the other those which are of the world alone: as to their minds, one may be in heaven, the other in hell; hence there may be conjugial love with the one, and not with the other. the minds of such, since they are turned in a contrary direction, are inwardly in collision with each other; and if not outwardly, still, he that is not in conjugial love, regards his lawful consort as a tiresome old woman; and so in other cases. . xviii. there are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external, with married partners. it is well known, that between married partners there are similitudes and dissimilitudes, and that the external appear, but not the internal, except after some time of living together, to the married partners themselves, and by indications to others; but it would be useless to mention each so that they might be known, since several pages might be filled with an account and description of their varieties. similitudes may in part be deduced and concluded from the dissimilitudes on account of which conjugial love is changed into cold; of which we shall speak in the following chapter. similitudes and dissimilitudes in general originate from connate inclinations, varied by education, connections, and persuasions that have been imbibed. . xix. various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes. the varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and differ more or less from each other; but still those which differ may in time be conjoined by various things, especially by accommodations to desires, by mutual offices and civilities, by abstaining from what is unchaste, by the common love of infants and the care of children, but particularly by conformity in things relating to the church; for things relating to the church effect a conjunction of similitudes differing interiorly, other things only exteriorly. but with dissimilitudes no conjunction can be effected, because they are antipathetical. . xx. the lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial, and if not on earth, he yet provides them in heaven. the reason of this is, because all marriages of love truly conjugial are provided by the lord. that they are from him, may be seen above, n. , ; but in what manner they are provided in heaven, i have heard thus described by the angels: the divine providence of the lord extends to everything, even to the minutest particulars, concerning marriages and in marriages, because all the delights of heaven spring from the delights of conjugial love, as sweet waters from the fountain-head; and on this account it is provided that conjugial pairs be born; and that they be continually educated to their several marriages under the lord's auspices, neither the boy nor the girl knowing anything of the matter; and after a stated time, when they both become marriageable, they meet in some place as by chance, and see each other, and in this case they instantly know, as by a kind of instinct, that they are a pair, and by a kind of inward dictate think within themselves, the youth, that she is mine, and the maiden, that he is mine; and when this thought has existed some time in the mind of each, they accost each other from a deliberate purpose, and betroth themselves. it is said, as by chance, by instinct, and by dictate; and the meaning is, by divine providence; since, while the divine providence is unknown, it has such an appearance; for the lord opens internal similitudes, so that they may see themselves. . xxi. a man (_homo_) according to the deficiency and loss of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast. the reason of this is, because so far as a man (_homo_) is in conjugial love, so far he is spiritual, and so far as he is spiritual, so far he is a man (_homo_); for a man is born to a life after death, and attains the possession thereof in consequence of having in him a spiritual soul, and is capable of being elevated thereto by the faculty of his understanding; if in this case his will, from the faculty also granted to it, is elevated at the same time, he lives after death the life of heaven. the contrary comes to pass, if he is in a love opposite to conjugial love; for so far as he is in this opposite love, so far he is natural; and a merely natural man is like a beast as to lusts and appetites, and to their delights; with this difference only, that he has the faculty of elevating his understanding into the light of wisdom, and also of elevating his will into the heat of celestial love. these faculties are never taken away from airy man (_homo_); therefore the merely natural man, although as to concupiscences and appetites and their delights, he is like a beast, still lives after death, but in a state corresponding to his past life. from these considerations it may appear that a man, according to the deficiency of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast. this position may seem to be contradicted by the consideration, that there are a deficiency and loss of conjugial love with some who yet are men (_homines_); but the position is meant to be confined to those who make light of conjugial love from a principle of adulterous love, and who therefore are in such deficiency and loss. * * * * * . to the above i shall add three memorable relations. first. i once heard loud exclamations, which issued from the hells, with a noise as if they bubbled up through water: one to the left hand, in these words, "o how just!" another to the right, "o how learned!" and a third from behind, "o how wise!" and as i was in doubt whether there are also in hell persons of justice, learning, and wisdom, i was impressed with a strong desire of seeing what was the real case; and a voice from heaven said to me, "you shall see and hear." i therefore in spirit went out of the house, and saw before me an opening, which i approached; and looked down; and lo! there was a ladder, by which i descended: and when i was down, i observed a level country set thick with shrubs, intermixed with thorns and nettles; and on my asking, whether this was hell, i was told it was the lower earth next above hell. i then continued my course in a direction according to the exclamations in order; first to those who exclaimed, "o how just!" where i saw a company consisting of such as in the world had been judges influenced by friendship and gifts; then to the second exclamation, "o how learned!" where i saw a company of such as in the world had been reasoners; and lastly to the third exclamation, "o how wise!" where i saw a company such as in the world had been confirmators. from these i returned to the first, where there were judges influenced by friendship and gifts, and who were proclaimed "just." on one side i saw as it were an amphitheatre built of brick, and covered with black slates; and i was told that they called it a tribunal. there were three entrances to it on the north, and three on the west, but none on the south and east; a proof that their decisions were not those of justice, but were arbitrary determinations. in the middle of the amphitheatre there was a fire, into which the servants who attended threw torches of sulphur and pitch; the light whereof, by its vibrations on the plastered walls, presented pictured images of birds of the evening and night; but both the fire and the vibrations of light thence issuing, together with the forms of the images thereby produced, were representations that in their decisions they could adorn the matter of any debate with colored dyes, and give it a form according to their own interest. in about half an hour i saw some old men and youths in robes and cloaks, enter the amphitheatre, who, laying aside their caps, took their seats at the tables, in order to sit in judgement. i heard and perceived with what cunning and ingenuity, under the impulse of prejudice in favor of their friends, they warped and inverted judgement so as to give it an appearance of justice, and this to such a degree, that they themselves saw what was unjust as just, and on the other hand what was just as unjust. such persuasions respecting the points to be decided upon, appeared from their countenances, and were heard from their manner of speaking. i then received illustration from heaven, from which i perceived how far each point was grounded in right or not; and i saw how industriously they concealed what was unjust, and gave it a semblance of what was just; and how they selected some particular statute which favored their own side of the question, and by cunning reasonings warped the rest to the same side. after judgement was given, the decrees were conveyed to their clients, friends and favorers, who, to recompense them for their services, continued to shout, "o how just, o how just!" after this i conversed respecting them with the angels of heaven, and related to them some of the things i had seen and heard. the angels said to me, "such judges appear to others to be endowed with a most extraordinary acuteness of intellect; when yet they do not at all see what is just and equitable. if you remove the prejudices of friendship in favor of particular persons, they sit mute in judgement like so many statues, and only say, 'i acquiesce, and am entirely of your opinion on this point.' this happens because all their judgements are prejudices; and prejudice with partiality influences the case in question from beginning to end. hence they see nothing but what is connected with their friend's interest; and whatever is contrary thereto, they set aside; or if they pay any attention to it, they involve it in intricate reasonings, as a spider wraps up its prey in a web, and make an end of it; hence, unless they follow the web of their prejudice, they see nothing of what is right. they were examined whether they were able to see it, and it was discovered that they were not. that this is the case, will seem wonderful to the inhabitants of your world; but tell them it is a truth that has been investigated by the angels of heaven. as they see nothing of what is just, we in heaven regard them not as men but as monsters, whose heads are constituted of things relating to friendship, their breasts of those relating to injustice, their feet of those which relate to confirmation, and the soles of the feet of those things which relate to justice, which they supplant and trample under foot, in case they are unfavorable to the interests of their friend. but of what quality they appear to us from heaven, you shall presently see; for their end is at hand." and lo! at that instant the ground was cleft asunder, and the tables fell one upon another, and they were swallowed up, together with the whole amphitheatre, and were cast into caverns, and imprisoned. it was then said to me, "do you wish to see them where they now are?" and lo! their faces appeared as of polished steel, their bodies from the neck to the loins as graven images of stone clothed with leopards' skins, and their feet like snakes: the law books too, which they had arranged in order on the tables, were changed into packs of cards: and now, instead of sitting in judgement, the office appointed to them is to prepare vermilion and mix it up into a paint, to bedaub the faces of harlots and thereby turn them into beauties. after seeing these things, i was desirous to visit the two other assemblies, one of which consisted of mere reasoners, and the other of mere confirmators; and it was said to me, "stop awhile, and you shall have attendant angels from the society next above them; by these you will receive light from the lord and will see what will surprise you." . the second memorable relation. after some time i heard again from the lower earth voices exclaiming as before, "o how learned! o how wise!" i looked round to see what angels were present; and lo! they were from the heaven immediately above those who cried out, "o how learned!" and i conversed with them respecting the cry, and they said, "those learned ones are such as only reason _whether a thing be so or not_, and seldom think _that it is so_; therefore, they are like winds which blow and pass away, like the bark about trees which are without sap, or like shells about almonds without a kernel, or like the outward rind about fruit without pulp; for their minds are void of interior judgement, and are united only with the bodily senses; therefore unless the senses themselves decide, they can conclude nothing; in a word, they are merely sensual, and we call them reasoners. we give them this name, because they never conclude anything, and make whatever they hear a matter of argument, and dispute whether it be so, with perpetual contradiction. they love nothing better than to attack essential truths, and so to pull them in pieces as to make them a subject of dispute. these are those who believe themselves learned above the rest of the world." on hearing this account, i entreated the angels to conduct me to them: so they led me to a cave, from which there was a flight of steps leading to the earth below. we descended and followed the shout, "o how learned!" and lo! there were some hundreds standing in one place, beating the ground with their feet. being at first surprised at this sight, i inquired the reason of their standing in that manner and beating the ground with the soles of their feet, and said, "they may thus by their feet make holes in the floor." at this the angel smiled and said, "they appear to stand in this manner, because they never think on any subject that it is so, but only whether it is so, and dispute about it; and when the thinking principle proceeds no further than this, they appear only to tread and trample on a single clod, and not to advance." upon this i approached the assembly, and lo! they appeared to me to be good-looking men and well dressed; but the angels said, "this is their appearance when viewed in their own light; but if light from heaven flows in, their faces are changed, and so is their dress;" and so it came to pass: they then appeared with dark faces, and dressed in black sackcloth; but when this light was withdrawn, they appeared as before. i presently entered into conversation with some of them, and said, "i heard the shout of a crowd about you, '_o how learned!_' may i be allowed therefore to have a little conversation with you on subjects of the highest learning?" they replied, "mention any subject, and we will give you satisfaction." i then asked, "what must be the nature of that religion by which a man is saved?" they said, "we will divide this subject into several parts; and we cannot answer it until we have concluded on its subdivisions. the first inquiry shall be, whether religion be anything? the second, whether there be such a thing as salvation or not? the third, whether one religion be more efficacious than another? the fourth, whether there be a heaven and a hell? the fifth, whether there be eternal life after death?" besides many more inquiries. then i desired to know their opinion concerning the first article of inquiry, whether religion be anything? they began to discuss the subject with abundance of arguments, whether there be any such thing as religion, and whether what is called religion be anything? i requested them to refer it to the assembly, and they did so; and the general answer was, that the proposition required so much investigation that it could not be finished within the evening. i then asked. "can you finish it within the year?" and one of them said, "not within a hundred years:" so i observed, "in the mean while you are without religion;" and he replied, "shall it not be first demonstrated whether there be such a thing as religion, and whether what is called religion be anything? if there be such a thing, it must be also for the wise; if there be no such thing, it must he only for the vulgar. it is well known that religion is called a bond; but it is asked, for whom? if it be only for the vulgar, it is not anything in itself; if it be likewise for the wise, it is something." on hearing these arguments, i said to them, "there is no character you deserve less than that of being learned; because all your thoughts are confined to the single inquiry, whether a thing be, and to canvass each side of the question. who can become learned, unless he know something for certain, and progressively advance into it, as a man in walking progressively advances from step to step, and thereby successively arrives at wisdom! if you follow any other rule, you make no approach to truths, but remove them more and more out of sight. to reason only whether a thing be, is it not like reasoning about a cap or a shoe, whether they fit or not, before they are put on? and what must be the consequence of such reasoning, but that you will not know whether anything exist, yea, whether there be any such thing as salvation, or eternal life after death; whether one religion be more efficacious than another, and whether there be a heaven and a hell? on these subjects you cannot possibly think at all, so long as you halt at the first step, and beat the sand at setting out, instead of setting one foot before another and going forward. take heed to yourselves, lest your minds, standing thus without in a state of indetermination, should inwardly harden and become statues of salt, and yourselves friends of lot's wife." with these words i took my leave, and they being indignant threw stones after me; and then they appeared to me like graven images of stone, without any human reason in them. on my asking the angels concerning their lot, they said, "their lot is, that they are cast down into the deep, into a wilderness, where they are forced to carry burdens; and in this case, as they are no longer capable of rational conversation, they give themselves up to idle prattle and talk, and appear at a distance like asses that are heavily laden." . the third memorable relation. after this one of the angels said, "follow me to the place where they exclaim, 'o how wise!' and you shall see prodigies of men; you shall see faces and bodies, which are the faces and bodies of a man, and yet they are not men." i said, "are they beasts then?" he replied, "they are not beasts, but beast-men; for they are such as cannot at all see whether truth be truth or not, and yet they can make whatever they will to be truth. such persons with us are called confirmators." we followed the vociferation, and came to the place; and lo! there was a company of men, and around them a crowd, and in the crowd some of noble blood, who, on hearing that they confirmed whatever they said, and favored themselves with such manifest consent, turned, and said, "o how wise!" but the angel said to me, "let us not go to them, but call one out of the company." we called him and went aside with him, and conversed on various subjects; and he confirmed every one of them, so that they appeared altogether as true; and we asked him, whether he could also confirm the contrary? he said, "as well as the former." then he spoke openly and from the heart, and said, "what is truth? is there anything true in the nature of things, but what a man makes true? advance any proposition you please, and i will make it to be true." hereupon i said, "make this true; that faith is the all of the church." this he did so dexterously and cunningly, that the learned who were standing by admired and applauded him. i afterwards requested him to make it true, that charity is the all of the church; and he did so: and afterwards, that charity is nothing of the church: and he dressed up each side of the question, and adorned it so with appearances, that the bystanders looked at each other, and said, "is not this a wise man?" but i said, "do not you know that to live well is charity, and that to believe well is faith? does not he that lives well also believe well? and consequently, is not faith of charity, and charity of faith? do you not see that this is true?" he replied, "i will make it true, and will then see." he did so, and said, "now i see it;" but presently he made the contrary to be true, and then said, "i also see that this is true." at this we smiled and said, "are they not contraries? how can two contraries appear true?" to this he replied with indignation, "you are mistaken; each is true; since truth is nothing but what a man makes true." there was a certain person standing near, who in the world had been a legate of the first rank. he was surprised at this assertion, and said, "i acknowledge that in the world something like this method of reasoning prevails; but still you are out of your senses. try if you can make it to be true, that light is darkness, and darkness light." he replied, "i will easily do this. what are light and darkness but a state of the eye? is not light changed into shade when the eye comes out of sunshine, and also when it is kept intensely fixed on the sun? who does not know, that the state of the eye in such a case is changed, and that in consequence light appears as shade; and on the other hand, when the state of the eye is restored, that shade appears as light? does not an owl see the darkness of night as the light of day, and the light of day as the darkness of night, and also the sun itself as an opaque and dusky globe? if any man had the eyes of an owl, which would he call light and which darkness? what then is light but the state of the eye? and if it be a state of the eye, is not light darkness, and darkness light? therefore each of the propositions is true." afterwards the legate asked him to make this true, that a raven is white and not black; and he replied, "i will do this also with ease;" and he said, "take a needle or razor, and lay open the feathers or quills of a raven; are they not white within? also remove the feathers and quills, and look at its skin; is it not white? what is the blackness then which envelops it but a shade, which ought not to determine the raven's color? that blackness is merely a shade. i appeal to the skilful in the science of optics, who will tell you, that if you pound a black stone or glass into fine powder, you will see that the powder is white." but the legate replied, "does not the raven appear black to the sight?" the confirmator answered, "will you, who are a man, think in any case from appearance? you may indeed say from appearance, that a crow is black, but you cannot think so; as for example, you may speak from the appearance and say that the sun rises, advances to its meridian altitude, and sets; but, as you are a man, you cannot think so; because the sun stands unmoved and the earth only changes its position. the case is the same with the raven; appearance is appearance; and say what you will, a raven is altogether and entirely white; it grows white also as it grows old; and this i have seen." we next requested him to tell us from his heart, whether he was in joke, or whether he really believed that nothing is true but what a man makes true? and he replied, "i swear that i believe it." afterwards the legate asked him, whether he could make it true that he was out of his senses; and he said, "i can; but i do not choose: who is not out of his senses?" when the conversation was thus ended, this universal confirmator was sent to the angels, to be examined as to his true quality; and the report they afterwards made was, that he did not possess even a single grain of understanding; because all that is above the rational principle was closed in him, and that alone which is below was open. above the rational principle is heavenly light, and below it is natural light; and this light is such that it can confirm whatever it pleases; but if heavenly light does not flow into natural light, a man does not see whether any thing true is true, and consequently neither does he see that any thing false is false. to see in either case is by virtue of heavenly light in natural light; and heavenly light is from the god of heaven, who is the lord; therefore this universal confirmator is not a man or a beast, but a beast-man. i questioned the angel concerning the lot of such persons, and whether they can be together with those who are alive, since every one has life from heavenly light, and from this light has understanding. he said, that such persons when they are alone, can neither think nor express their thoughts, but stand mute like machines, and as in a deep sleep; but that they awake as soon as any sound strikes their ears: and he added, that those become such, who are inmostly wicked; into these no heavenly light can flow from above, but only somewhat spiritual through the world, whence they derive the faculty of confirming. as he said this, i heard a voice from the angels who had examined the confirmation, saying to me, "from what you have now heard form a general conclusion." i accordingly formed the following: "that intelligence does not consist in being able to confirm whatever a man pleases, but in being able to see that what is true is true, and what is false is false." after this i looked towards the company where the confirmators stood, and where the crowd about them shouted, "_o how wise!_" and lo! a dusky cloud covered them, and in the cloud were owls and bats on the wing; and it was said to me, "the owls and bats flying in the dusky cloud, are correspondences and consequent appearances of their thoughts; because confirmations of falsities so as to make them appear like truths, are represented in this world under the forms of birds of night, whose eyes are inwardly illuminated by a false light, from which they see objects in the dark as if in the light. by such a false spiritual light are those influenced who confirm falses until they seem as truths, and afterwards are said and believed to be truths: all such see backwards, and not forwards." * * * * * * on the causes of coldness, separation, and divorce in marriages. . in treating here on the causes of coldness in marriages, we shall treat also at the same time on the causes of separation, and likewise of divorce, because they are connected; for separations come from no other source than from coldnesses, which are successively inborn after marriage, or from causes discovered after marriage, from which also coldness springs; but divorces come from adulteries; for these are altogether opposite to marriages; and opposites induce coldness, if not in both parties, at least in one. this is the reason why the causes of coldness, separations, and divorces, are brought together into one chapter. but the coherence of the causes will be more clearly discerned from viewing them in the following series:--i. _there are spiritual heat and spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold the privation thereof._ ii. _spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house._ iii. _there are several successive causes of cold, some internal, some external, and some accidental._ iv. _internal causes of cold are from religion._ v. _the first of these causes is the rejection of religion by each of the parties._ vi. _the second is, that one has religion and not the other._ vii. _the third is, that one is of one religion and the other of another._ viii. _the fourth is the falsity of the religion imbibed._ ix. _with many, these are causes of internal cold, but not at the same time of external._ x. _there are also several external causes of cold; the first of which is dissimilitude of minds and manners._ xi. _the second is, that conjugial love is believed to be the same as adulterous love, only that the latter is not allowed by law, but the former is._ xii. _the third is, a striving for pre-eminence between married partners._ xiii. _the fourth is, a want of determination to any employment or business, whence comes wandering passion._ xiv. _the fifth is, inequality of external rank and condition._ xv. _there are also causes of separation._ xvi. _the first of them is a vitiated state of mind._ xvii. _the second is a vitiated state of body._ xviii. _the third is impotence before marriage._ xix. _adultery is the cause of divorce._ xx. _there are also several accidental causes of cold; the first of which is, that enjoyment is common (or cheap), because continually allowed._ xxi. _the second is that living with a married partner, from a covenant and compact, seems to be forced and not free._ xxii. _the third is, affirmation on the part of the wife, and her talking incessantly about love._ xxiii. _the fourth is, the man's continually thinking that his wife is willing; and on the other hand, the wife's thinking that the man is not willing._ xxiv. _as cold is in the mind it is also in the body; and according to the increase of that cold, the externals also of the body are closed._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. there are spiritual heat and spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold is the privation thereof. spiritual heat is from no other source than the sun of the spiritual world; for there is in that world a sun proceeding from the lord, who is in the midst of it; and as it is from the lord, it is in its essence pure love. this sun appears fiery before the angels, just as the sun of our world appears before men. the reason of its appearing fiery is, because love is spiritual fire. from that sun proceed both heat and light; but as that sun is pure love, the heat thence derived in its essence is love, and the light thence derived in its essence is wisdom; hence it is manifest what is the source of spiritual heat, and that spiritual heat is love. but we will also briefly explain the source of spiritual cold. it is from the sun of the natural world, and its heat and light. the sun of the natural world was created that its heat and light might receive in them spiritual heat and light, and by means of the atmospheres might convey spiritual heat and light even to ultimates in the earth, in order to produce effects of ends, which are of the lord in his sun, and also to clothe spiritual principles with suitable garments, that is, with materials, to operate ultimate ends in nature. these effects are produced when spiritual heat is joined to natural heat; but the contrary comes to pass when natural heat is separated from spiritual heat, as is the case with those who love natural things, and reject spiritual: with such, spiritual heat becomes cold. the reason why these two loves, which from creation are in agreement, become thus opposite, is, because in such case the dominant heat becomes the servant, and _vice versa_; and to prevent this effect, spiritual heat, which from its lineage is lord, then recedes; and in those subjects, spiritual heat grows cold, because it becomes opposite. from these considerations it is manifest that spiritual cold is the privation of spiritual heat. in what is here said, by heat is meant love; because that heat living in subjects is felt as love. i have heard in the spiritual world, that spirits merely natural grow intensely cold while they apply themselves to the side of some angel who is in a state of love; and that the case is similar in regard to the infernal spirits, while heat flows into them out of heaven; and that nevertheless among themselves, when the heat of heaven is removed from them, they are inflamed with great heat. . ii. spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house. that these effects take place with married partners, while their primitive love is on the decline, and becomes cold, is too well known to need any comment. the reason is, because conjugial cold above all others resides in human minds; for the essential conjugial principle is inscribed on the soul, to the end that a soul may be propagated from a soul, and the soul of the father into the offspring. hence it is that this cold originates there, and successively goes downward into the principles thence derived, and infects them; and thus changes the joys and delights of the primitive love into what is sad and undelightful. . iii. there are several successive causes of cold, some internal, some external, and some accidental. that there are several causes of cold in marriages, is known in the world; also that they arise from many external causes; but it is not known that the origins of the causes lie concealed in the inmost principles, and that from these they descend into the principles thence derived, until they appear in externals; in order therefore that it may be known that external causes are not causes in themselves, but derived from causes in themselves, which, as was said, are in inmost principles, we will first distribute the causes generally into internal and external, and afterwards will particularly examine them. . iv. internal causes of cold are from religion. that the very origin of conjugial love resides in the inmost principles of man, that is, in his soul, is demonstrable to every one from the following considerations alone; that the soul of the offspring is from the father, which is known from the similitude of inclinations and affections, and also from the general character of the countenance derived from the father and remaining with very remote posterity; also from the propagative faculty implanted in souls from creation; and moreover by what is analogous thereto in the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, in that there lies hid in the inmost principles of germination the propagation of the seed itself, and thence of the whole, whether it be a tree, a shrub, or a plant. this propagative or plastic force in seeds in the latter kingdom, and in souls in the other, is from no other source than the conjugial sphere, which is that of good and truth, and which perpetually emanates and flows in from the lord the creator and supporter of the universe; concerning which sphere, see above, n. - ; and from the endeavour of those two principles, good and truth, therein, to unite into a one. this conjugial endeavour remains implanted in souls, and conjugial love exists by derivation from it as its origin. that this same marriage, from which the above universal sphere is derived, constitutes the church with man, has been abundantly shewn above in the chapter on the marriage of good and truth, and frequently elsewhere. hence there is all the evidence of rational demonstration, that the origin of the church and of conjugial love are in one place of abode, and in a continual embrace; but on this subject see further particulars above, n. , where it was proved, that conjugial love is according to the state of the church with man; thus that it is grounded in religion, because religion constitutes this state. man also was created with a capacity of becoming more and more interior, and thereby of being introduced or elevated nearer and nearer to that marriage, and thus into love truly conjugial, and this even so far as to perceive a state of its blessedness. that religion is the only means of introduction and elevation, appears clearly from what was said above, namely, that the origin of the church and of conjugial love are in the same place of abode, and in mutual embrace there, and that hence they must needs be conjoined. . from what has been said above it follows, that where there is no religion, there is no conjugial love; and that where there is no conjugial love, there is cold. that conjugial cold is the privation of that love, maybe seen above, n. ; consequently that conjugial cold is also a privation of a state of the church, or of religion. sufficient evidence of the truth of this may be deduced from the general ignorance that now prevails concerning love truly conjugial. in these times, who knows, and who is willing to acknowledge, and who will not be surprised to hear, that the origin of conjugial love is deduced hence? but the only cause and source of this ignorance is, that, notwithstanding there is religion, still there are not the truths of religion; and what is religion without truths? that there is a want of the truths of religion, is fully shown in the apocalypse revealed; see also the memorable relation, n. of that work. . v. of internal causes of cold the first is the rejection of religion by each of the parties. those who reject the holy things of the church from the face to the hinder part of the head, or from the breast to the back, have not any good love; if any proceeds apparently from the body, still there is not any in the spirit. with such persons goods place themselves on the outside of evils, and cover them, as raiment glittering with gold covers a putrid body. the evils which reside within, and are covered, are in general hatreds, and thence intestine combats against everything spiritual; for all things of the church which they reject, are in themselves spiritual; and as love truly conjugial is the fundamental love of all spiritual loves, as was shewn above, it is evident that interior hatred is contrary to it, and that the interior or real love with such is in favor or the opposite, which is the love of adultery; therefore such persons, more than others, will be disposed to ridicule this truth, that every one has conjugial love according to the state of the church; yea, they will possibly laugh at the very mention of love truly conjugial; but be it so; nevertheless they are to be pardoned, because it is as impossible for them to distinguish in thought between the marriage embrace and the adulterous, as it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. such persons, as to conjugial love, are starved with cold more than others. if they keep to their married partners, it is only on account of some of the external causes mentioned above, n. , which withhold and bind them. their interiors of the soul and thence of the mind are more and more closed, and in the body are stopped up; and in this case even the love of the sex is thought little of, or becomes insanely lascivious in the interiors of the body, and thence in the lowest principles of their thought. it is these who are meant in the memorable relation, n. , which they may read if they please. . vi. of internal causes of cold the second is, that one of the parties has religion and not the other. the reason of this is, because the souls must of course disagree; for the soul of one is open to the reception of conjugial love, while the soul of the other is closed to it. it is closed with the party that has not religion, and it is open with the one that has; hence such persons cannot live together harmoniously; and when once conjugial love is banished, there ensues cold; but this is with the party that has no religion. this cold cannot be dissipated except by the reception of a religion agreeing with that of the other party, if it be true; otherwise, with the party that has no religion, there ensues cold, which descends from the soul into the body, even to the cuticles; in consequence of which he can no longer look his married partner directly in the face, or accost her in a communion of respirations, or speak to her except in a subdued tone of voice, or touch her with the hand, and scarcely with the back; not to mention the insanities which, proceeding from that cold, make their way into the thoughts, which they do not make known; and this is the reason why such marriages dissolve of themselves. moreover, it is well known, that an impious man thinks meanly of a married partner; and all who are without religion are impious. . vii. of internal causes of cold the third is, that one of the parties is of one religion and the other of another. the reason of this is, because with such persons good cannot be conjoined with its corresponding truth; for as was shewn above, the wife is the good of the husband's truth, and he is the truth of the wife's good. hence of two souls there cannot be made one soul; and hence the stream of that love is closed: and consequently a conjugial principle is entered upon, which has a lower place of abode, and which is that of good with another truth, or of truth with another good than its own, between which there cannot be any harmonious love: hence with the married partner that is in a false religion, there commences a cold, which grows more intense in proportion as he differs from the other party. on a certain time, as i was wandering through the streets of a great city inquiring for a lodging, i entered a house inhabited by married partners of a different religion; being ignorant of this circumstance, the angels instantly accosted me, and said, "we cannot remain with you in that house; for the married partners who dwell there differ in religion." this they perceived from the internal disunion of their souls. . viii. of internal causes of cold the fourth is, the falsity of the religion. this is, because falsity in spiritual things either takes away religion or defiles it. it takes it from those with whom genuine truths are falsified; it defiles it, where there are indeed falsities, but not genuine truths, which therefore could not be falsified. in the latter case there may be imputed goods with which those falses may be conjoined by applications from the lord; for these falses are like various discordant tones, which by artful arrangements and combinations are brought into harmony, and communicate to harmony its agreeableness: in this case some conjugial love is communicable; but with those who have falsified with themselves the genuine truths of the church, it is not communicable. the prevailing ignorance concerning love truly conjugial, or a negative doubting respecting the possibility of the existence of such love, is from persons of the latter description; and from the same source also comes the wild imagination, in the minds of the generality, that adulteries are not evils in a religious point of view. . ix. with many, the above-mentioned are causes of internal cold, but not at the same time of external. if the causes above pointed out and confirmed, which are the causes of internal cold, produced similar external cold, as many separations would ensue as there are cases of internal cold, which are as many as there are marriages of those who are in a false or a different religion, or in no religion; respecting whom we have already treated; and yet it is well-known, that many such live together as if they mutually loved and were friendly to each other: but whence this originates, with those who are in internal cold, will be shewn in the following chapter concerning the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in marriages. there are several causes which conjoin minds (_animos_) but still do not conjoin souls; among these are some of those mentioned above, n. ; but still cold lies interiorly concealed, and makes itself continually observed and felt. with such married partners the affections depart from each other; but the thoughts, while they come forth into speech and behaviour, for the sake of apparent friendship and favor, are present; therefore such persons know nothing of the pleasantness and delight, and still less of the satisfaction and blessedness of love truly conjugial, accounting them to be little else than fables. these are of the number of those who deduce the origin of conjugial love from the same causes with the nine companies of wise ones assembled from the several kingdoms of europe; concerning whom see the memorable relation above, n. - . . it may be urged as an objection to what has been proved above, that still the soul is propagated from the father although it is not conjoined to the soul of the mother, yea, although cold residing therein causes separation; but the reason why souls or offspring are nevertheless propagated is, because the understanding of the man is not closed, but is capable of being elevated into the light into which the soul is; but the love of his will is not elevated into the heat corresponding to the light there, except by the life, which makes him from natural become spiritual; hence it is, that the soul is still procreated, but, in the descent, while it becomes seed, it is veiled over by such things as belong to his natural love; from this springs hereditary evil. to these considerations i will add an arcanum from heaven, namely, that between the disjoined souls of two persons, especially of married partners, there is effected conjunction in a middle love; otherwise there would be no conception with men (_homines_). besides what is here said of conjugial cold, and its place of abode in the supreme region of the mind, see the last memorable relation of this chapter, n. . . x. there are also several external causes of cold, the first of which is dissimilitude of minds and manners. there are both internal and external similitudes and dissimilitudes. the internal arise from no other source than religion; for religion is implanted in souls, and by them is transmitted from parents to their offspring as the supreme inclination; for the soul of every man derives life from the marriage of good and truth, and from this marriage is the church; and as the church is various and different in the several parts of the world, therefore also the souls of all men are various and different; wherefore internal similitudes and dissimilitudes are from this source, and according to them the conjugial conjunctions of which we have been treating; but external similitudes and dissimilitudes are not of the souls but of minds; by minds (_animos_) we mean the affections and thence the external inclinations, which are principally insinuated after birth by education, social intercourse, and consequent habits of life; for it is usual to say, i have a mind to do this or that; which indicates an affection and inclination to it. persuasions conceived respecting this or that kind of life also form those minds; hence come inclinations to enter into marriage even with such as are unsuitable, and likewise to refuse consent to marriage with such as are suitable; but still these marriages, after a certain time of living together, vary according to the similitudes and dissimilitudes contracted hereditarily and also by education; and dissimilitudes induce cold. so likewise dissimilitudes of manners; as for example, an ill-mannered man or woman, joined with a well-bred one; a neat man or woman, joined with a slovenly one; a litigious man or woman, joined with one that is peaceably disposed; in a word, an immoral man or woman, joined with a moral one. marriages of such dissimilitudes are not unlike the conjunctions of different species of animals with each other, as of sheep and goats, of stags and mules, of turkeys and geese, of sparrows and the nobler kind of birds, yea, as of dogs and cats, which from their dissimilitudes do not consociate with each other, but in the human kind these dissimilitudes are indicated not by faces, but by habits of life; wherefore external colds are from this source. . xi. of external causes of cold the second is, that conjugial love is believed to be the same as adulterous love, only that the latter is not allowed by law, but the former is. that this is a source of cold, is obvious to reason, while it is considered that adulterous love is diametrically opposite to conjugial love; wherefore when it is believed that conjugial love is the same as adulterous, they both become alike in idea; and in such case a wife is regarded as a harlot, and marriage as uncleanness; the man himself also is an adulterer, if not in body, still in spirit. that hence ensue contempt, disdain, and aversion, between the man and his woman, and thereby intense cold, is an unavoidable consequence; for nothing stores up in itself conjugial cold more than adulterous love; and as adulterous love also passes into such cold, it may not undeservedly be called essential conjugial cold. . xii. of external causes of cold the third is, a striving for pre-eminence between married partners. this is, because conjugial love principally respects the union of wills, and the freedom of decision thence arising; both which are ejected from the married state by a striving for pre-eminence or superiority; for this divides and tears wills into pieces, and changes the freedom of decision into servitude. during the influence of such striving, the spirit of one of the parties meditates violence against the other; if in such case their minds were laid open and viewed by spiritual sight, they would appear like two boxers engaged in combat, and regarding each other with hatred and favor alternately; with hatred while in the vehemence of striving, and with favor while in the hope of dominion, and while under the influence of lust. after one has obtained the victory over the other, this contention is withdrawn from the externals, and betakes itself into the internals of the mind, and there abides with its restlessness stored up and concealed. hence cold ensues both to the subdued party or servant, and to the victor or dominant party. the reason why the latter also suffers cold is, because conjugial love no longer exists with them, and the privation of this love is cold; see n. . in the place of conjugial love succeeds heat derived from pre-eminence; but this heat is utterly discordant with conjugial heat, yet it can exteriorly resemble it by means of lust. after a tacit agreement between the parties, it appears as if conjugial love was made friendship; but the difference between conjugial and servile friendship in marriages, is like that between light and shade, between a living fire and an _ignis fatuus_, yea, like that between a well-conditioned man and one consisting only of bone and skin. . xiii. of external causes of cold the fourth is, a want of determination to any employment or business, whence comes wandering passion. man (_homo_) was created for use, because use is the continent of good and truth, from the marriage of which proceeds creation, and also conjugial love, as was shewn above. by employment and business we mean every application to uses; while therefore a man is in any employment and business, or in any use, in such case his mind is limited and circumscribed as in a circle, within which it is successively arranged into a form truly human, from which as from a house he sees various concupiscences out of himself, and by sound reason within exterminates them; consequently also he exterminates the wild insanities of adulterous lust; hence it is that conjugial heat remains better and longer with such than with others. the reverse happens with those who give themselves up to sloth and ease; in such case the mind is unlimited and undetermined, and hence the man (_homo_) admits into the whole of it everything vain and ludicrous which flows in from the world and the body, and leads to the love thereof; that in this case conjugial love also is driven into banishment, is evident; for in consequence of sloth and ease the mind grows stupid and the body torpid, and the whole man becomes insensible to every vital love, especially to conjugial love, from which as from a fountain issue the activities and alacrities of life. conjugial cold with such is different from what it is with others; it is indeed the privation of conjugial love, but arising from defect. . xiv. of external causes of cold the fifth is, inequality of external rank and condition. there are several inequalities of rank and condition, which while parties are living together put an end to the conjugial love which commenced before marriage; but they may all be referred to inequalities as to age, station, and wealth. that unequal ages induce cold in marriage, as in the case of a lad with an old woman, and of a young girl with a decrepit old man, needs no proof. that inequality of station has a similar effect, as in the marriage of a prince with a servant maid, or of an illustrious matron with a servant man, is also acknowledged without further proof. that the case is the same in regard to wealth, unless a similitude of minds and manners, and an application of one party to the inclinations and native desires of the other, consociate them, is evident. but in all such cases, the compliance of one party on account of the pre-eminence of station and condition of the other, effects only a servile and frigid conjunction; for the conjugial principle is not of the spirit and heart, but only nominal and of the countenance; in consequence of which the inferior party is given to boasting, and the superior blushes with shame. but in the heavens there is no inequality of age, station, or wealth; in regard to age, all there are in the flower of their youth, and continue so into eternity; in regard to station, they all respect others according to the uses which they perform. the more eminent in condition respect inferiors as brethren, neither do they prefer station to the excellence of use, but the excellence of use to station; also when maidens are given in marriage, they do not know from what ancestors they are descended; for no one in heaven knows his earthly father, but the lord is the father of all. the case is the same in regard to wealth, which in heaven is the faculty of growing wise, according to which a sufficiency of wealth is given. how marriages are there entered into, may be seen above, n. . . xv. there are also causes of separation. there are separations from the bed and also from the house. there are several causes of such separations; but we are here treating of legitimate causes. as the causes of separation coincide with the causes of concubinage, which are treated of in the latter part of this work in their own chapter, the reader is referred thereto that he may see the causes in their order. the legitimate causes of separation are the following. . xvi. the first cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated state of mind. the reason of this is, because conjugial love is a conjunction of minds; if therefore the mind of one of the parties takes a direction different from that of the other, such conjunction is dissolved, and with the conjunction the love vanishes. the states of vitiation of the mind which cause separation, may appear from an enumeration of them; they are for the most part, the following: madness, frenzy, furious wildness, actual foolishness and idiocy, loss of memory, violent hysterics, extreme silliness so as to admit of no perception of good and truth, excessive stubbornness in refusing to obey what is just and equitable; excessive pleasure in talkativeness and conversing only on insignificant and trifling subjects; an unbridled desire to publish family secrets, also to quarrel, to strike, to take revenge, to do evil, to steal, to tell lies, to deceive, to blaspheme; carelessness about the children, intemperance, luxury, excessive prodigality, drunkenness, uncleanness, immodesty, application to magic and witchcraft, impiety, with several other causes. by legitimate causes we do not here mean judicial causes, but such as are legitimate in regard to the other married partner; separation from the house also is seldom ordained in a court of justice. . xvii. the second cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated state of body. by vitiated states of body we do not mean accidental diseases, which happen to either of the married partners during their marriage, and from which they recover; but we mean inherent diseases, which are permanent. the science of pathology teaches what these are. they are manifold, such as diseases whereby the whole body is so far infected that the contagion may prove fatal; of this nature are malignant and pestilential fevers, leprosies, the venereal disease, gangrenes, cancers, and the like; also diseases whereby the whole body is so far weighed down, as to admit of no consociability, and from which exhale dangerous effluvia and noxious vapors, whether from the surface of the body, or from its inward parts, in particular from the stomach and lungs; from the surface of the body proceed malignant pocks, warts, pustules, scorbutic phthisic, virulent scab, especially if the face be defiled thereby: from the stomach proceed foul, stinking, rank and crude eructations: from the lungs, filthy and putrid exhalations, arising from imposthumes, ulcers, abcesses, or from vitiated blood or lymph therein. besides these there are also various other diseases, as lipothamia, which is a total faintness of body and defect of strength; paralysis, which is a loosing and relaxation of the membranes and ligaments which serve for motion; certain chronic diseases, arising from a loss of the sensibility and elasticity of the nerves, or from too great a thickness; tenacity, and acrimony of the humors; epilepsy; fixed weakness arising from apoplexy; certain phthisical complaints, whereby the body is wasted; the cholic, cæliac affection, rupture, and other like diseases. . xviii. the third cause of legitimate separation is impotence before marriage. the reason why this is a cause of separation is, because the end of marriage is the procreation of children, which cannot take place where this cause of separation operates; and as this is foreknown by the parties, they are deliberately deprived of the hope of it, which hope nevertheless nourishes and strengthens their conjugial love. . xix. adultery is the cause of divorce. there are several reasons for this, which are discernible in rational light, and yet at this day they are concealed. from rational light it may be seen that marriages are holy and adulteries profane; and thus that marriages and adulteries are diametrically opposite to each other; and that when opposites act upon each other, one destroys the other even to the last spark of its life. this is the case with conjugial love, when a married person commits adultery from a confirmed principle, and thus from a deliberate purpose. with those who know anything of heaven and hell, these things are more clearly discernible by the light of reason: for they know that marriages are in and from heaven, and that adulteries are in and from hell, and that these two cannot be conjoined, as heaven cannot be conjoined with hell, and that instantly, if they are conjoined with man (_homo_), heaven recedes, and hell enters. hence then it is, that adultery is the cause of divorce; wherefore the lord saith, that "_whosoever shall put away his wife, except for whoredom, and shall marry another, committeth adultery_," matt. xix. . he saith, if, except for whoredom, he shall put away his wife, and marry another, he committeth adultery; because putting away for this cause is a plenary separation of minds, which is called divorce; whereas other kinds of putting away, grounded in their particular causes are separations, of which we have just treated; after these, if another wife is married, adultery is committed; but not so after a divorce. . xx. there are also several accidental causes of cold; the first of which is, that enjoyment is common (or cheap), because continually allowed. the reason why this consideration is an accidental cause of cold is, because it exists with those who think lasciviously respecting marriage and a wife, but not with those who think holily respecting marriage, and securely respecting a wife. that from being common (or cheap) in consequence of being continually allowed, even joys become indifferent, and also tiresome, is evident from the case of pastimes and public shows, musical entertainments, dancing, feasting, and the like, which in themselves are agreeable, because vivifying. the case is the same with the intimacy and connection between married partners, especially between those who have not removed the unchaste love of the sex from the love which they bear to each other; and when they think of enjoyment's being common (or cheap) in consequence of being continually allowed, they think vainly in the absence of the faculty of enjoyment. that this consideration is to such persons a cause of cold is self-evident. it is called accidental, because it joins inward cold as a cause, and ranks on its side as a reason. to remove the cold arising from this circumstance, it is usual with wives, from the prudence implanted in them, to offer resistance to what is allowable. but the case is altogether otherwise with those who think chastely respecting wives; wherefore with the angels the consideration of enjoyment's being common in consequence of being continually allowed, is the very delight of their souls, and contains their conjugial love; for they are continually in the delight of that love, and in its ultimates according to the presence of their minds uninterrupted by cares, thus from the decisions of the judgement of the husbands. . xxi. of accidental causes of cold the second is, that living with a married partner, from a covenant and contract, seems forced and not free. this cause operates only with those with whom conjugial love in the inmost principles is cold; and since it unites with internal cold, it becomes an additional or accidental cause. with such persons, extra-conjugial love, arising from consent and the favor thereof, is interiorly in heat; for the cold of the one is the heat of the other; which, if it is not sensibly felt, is still within, yea, in the midst of cold; and unless it was thus also within, there would be no reparation. this heat is what constitutes the force or compulsion, which is increased in proportion as, by one of the parties, the covenant grounded in agreement and the contract grounded in what is just, are regarded as bonds not to be violated; it is otherwise if those bonds are loosed by each of the parties. the case is reversed with those who have rejected extra-conjugial love as detestable, and think of conjugial love as of what is heavenly and heaven; and the more so if they perceive it to be so: with such that covenant with its articles of agreement, and that contract with its sanctions, are inscribed on their hearts, and are continually being inscribed thereon more and more. in this case the bond of that love is neither secured by a covenant agreed upon, nor by a law enacted; but both covenant and law are from creation implanted in the love itself, which influences the parties; from the latter (namely, the covenant and the law implanted from creation in the love itself) are derived the former (namely, the covenant and law) in the world, but not _vice versa_. hence, whatever relates to that love is felt as free; neither is there any freedom but what is of love: and i have heard from the angels, that love truly conjugial is most free, because it is the love of loves. . xxii. of accidental causes of cold the third is, affirmation on the part of the wife, and her talking incessantly about love. with the angels in heaven there is no refusal and repugnance on the part of the wives, as there is with some wives on earth: with the angels in heaven also the wives converse about love, and are not silent as some wives on earth; but the causes of these differences i am not allowed to declare, because it would be unbecoming; nevertheless they are declared in four memorable relations at the close of the chapters, by the angels' wives, who freely speak of them to their husbands, by the three in the hall over which there was a golden shower, and by the seven who were sitting in a rosary. these memorable relations are adduced, to the end that every thing may be explained that relates to conjugial love, which is the subject here treated of both in general and in particular. . xxiii. of accidental causes of cold the fourth is, the man's continually thinking that his wife is willing; and on the other hand the wife's thinking that the man is not willing. that the latter circumstance is a cause of love's ceasing with wives, and the former a cause of cold with men, is too obvious to need any comment. for that the man who thinks that his wife, when in his sight by day, and when lying at his side by night, is desirous or willing, should grow cold to the extremities, and on the other hand that the wife, who thinks that the man is able and not willing, should lose her love, are circumstances among many others well known to husbands who have considered the arcana relating to conjugial love. these circumstances are adduced also, to the end that this work may be perfected, and the conjugial love and its chaste delights may be completed. . xxiv. as cold is in the mind it is also in the body; and according to the increase of that cold, the externals also of the body are closed. it is believed at the present day that the mind of man (_homo_) is in the head, and nothing of it in the body, when yet the soul and the mind are both in the head and in the body; for the soul and the mind are the man (_homo_), since both constitute the spirit which lives after death; and that this spirit is in a perfect human form, has been fully shewn in the treatises we have published. hence, as soon as a man thinks anything, he can in an instant utter it by means of his bodily mouth, and at the same time represent it by gesture; and as soon as he wills anything, he can in an instant bring it into act and effect by his bodily members: which could not be the case unless the soul and the mind were together in the body, and constituted his spiritual man. from these considerations it may be seen, that while conjugial love is in the mind, it is similar to itself in the body; and since love is heat, that it opens the externals of the body from the interiors; but on the other hand, that the privation thereof, which is cold, closes the externals of the body from the interiors: hence it is manifest what is the cause of the faculty (of conjugial love) with the angels enduring for ever, and what is the cause of its failing with men who are cold. * * * * * . to the above i shall add three memorable relations. first. in the superior northern quarter near the east in the spiritual world, there are places of instruction for boys, for youths, for men, and also for old men: into these places all who die infants are sent and are educated in heaven; so also all who arrive fresh from the world, and desire information about heaven and hell, are sent to the same places. this tract is near the east, that all may be instructed by influx from the lord; for the lord is the east, because he is in the sun there, which from him is pure love; hence the heat from that sun in its essence is love, and the light from it in its essence is wisdom. these are inspired into them from the lord out of that sun; and they are inspired according to reception, and reception is according to the love of growing wise. after periods of instruction, those who are made intelligent are sent forth thence, and are called disciples of the lord. they are sent forth first into the west, and those who do not remain there, into the south, and some through the south into the east, and are introduced into the societies where they are to reside. on a time, while i was meditating respecting heaven and hell, i began to desire a universal knowledge of the state of each, being aware, that whoever knows universals, may afterwards comprehend particulars, because the latter are contained in the former, as parts in a whole. in this desire i looked to the above tract in the northern quarter near the east, where were the places of instruction, and went there by a way then open to me. i entered one of the colleges, where there were some young men, and addressed the chief teachers there who gave instruction, and asked them whether they were acquainted with the universals respecting heaven and hell. they replied, that they knew some little; "but if we look," said they, "towards the east to the lord, we shall receive illustration and knowledge." they did so, and said, "there are three universals of hell, which are diametrically opposite to the universals of heaven. the universals of hell are these three loves; the love of dominion grounded in self-love, the love of possessing the goods of others grounded in the love of the world, and adulterous love. the universals of heaven opposite to these are the three following loves; the love of dominion grounded in the love of use, the love of possessing worldly goods grounded in the love of performing uses therewith, and love truly conjugial." hereupon, after expressing my good wishes towards them, i took my leave, and returned home. when i was come home, it was said to me from heaven, "examine those three universals above and beneath, and afterwards we shall see them in your hand." it was said _in the hand_, because whatever a man examines intellectually, appears to the angels as if inscribed on his hands. . after this i examined the first universal love of hell, which is the love of dominion grounded in self-love, and afterwards the universal love of heaven corresponding to it, which is the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses; for i was not allowed to examine one love without the other, because, being opposites, the understanding does not perceive the one without the other; wherefore that each may be perceived, they must be set in opposition to each other; for a beautiful and handsome face is rendered conspicuous by contrasting it with an ugly and deformed one. while i was considering the love of dominion grounded in self-love, i perceived that this love was in the highest degree infernal, and consequently prevailed with those who are in the deepest hell; and that the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses was in the highest degree heavenly, and consequently prevailed with those who are in the highest heaven. the love of dominion grounded in self-love is in the highest degree infernal, because to exercise dominion from self-love, is to exercise it from _proprium_, and a man's _proprium_ from his birth is essential evil, which is diametrically opposite to the lord; wherefore the more persons who are under the influence of such evil, advance therein, the more they deny god and the holy things of the church, and worship themselves and nature. let such persons, i entreat them, examine that evil in themselves, and they will see this to be the case. this love also is of such a nature, that in proportion as it is left unrestrained, which is the case so long as it is not checked by impossibilities, in the same proportion it rushes impetuously from step to step, even to the highest, and there also finds no bounds, but is sad and sorrowful because there is no higher step for it to ascend. this love with statesmen is so intense that they wish to be kings and emperors, and if it were possible, to have dominion over all things of the world, and to be called kings of kings and emperors of emperors; while the same love with the clergy is so intense that they wish to be gods and, as far as is possible, to have dominion over all things of heaven, and to be called gods of gods. that neither of these acknowledge any god, will be seen in what follows. on the other hand, those who desire to exercise dominion from the love of uses, do not desire it from themselves, but from the lord; since the love of uses is from the lord, and is the lord himself: these regard dignities only as means to the performance of uses, setting uses far above dignities; whereas the former set dignities far above uses. . while i was meditating on these things, an angel from the lord said to me, "you shall presently see, and be convinced by ocular demonstration, what is the nature and quality of that infernal love." then suddenly the earth opened on the left, and i saw a devil ascending from hell, with a square cap on his head let down over his forehead even to his eyes: his face was full of pimples as of a burning fever, his eyes fierce and firy, his breast swelling immensely; from his mouth he belched smoke like a furnace, his loins seemed all in a blaze, instead of feet he had bony ankles without flesh, and from his body exhaled a stinking and filthy heat. on seeing him i was alarmed, and cried out, "approach no nearer; tell me, whence are you?" he replied in a hoarse tone of voice, "i am from below, where i am with two hundred in the most supereminent of all societies. we are all emperors of emperors, king of kings, dukes of dukes, and princes of princes; no one in our society is barely an emperor, a king, a duke, or a prince. we sit there on thrones of thrones, and despatch thence mandates through the whole world and beyond it." i then said to him, "do you not see that you are insane from the phantasy of super-eminence?" and he replied, "how can you say so, when we absolutely seem to ourselves, and are also acknowledged by each other, to have such distinction?" on hearing this, i was unwilling to repeat my charge of insanity, as he was insane from phantasy; and i was informed that this devil, during his abode in the world, had been only a house-steward, and at that time he was so lifted up in spirit, that he despised all mankind in comparison with himself, and indulged in the phantasy that he was more worthy than a king, and even than an emperor; in consequence of which proud conceit, he had denied god, and had regarded all the holy things of the church as of no concern to himself, but of some to the stupid multitude. at length i asked him, "how long do you two hundred thus glory among yourselves?" he replied "to eternity; but such of us as torture others for denying our super-eminence, sink under ground; for we are allowed to glory, but not to do mischief to any one." i asked him again, "do you know what befalls those who sink under ground?" he said, "they sink down into a certain prison, where they are called viler than the vile, or the vilest, and are set to work." i then said to him. "take heed therefore, lest you also should sink down." . after this the earth again opened, but now on the right; and i saw another devil rising thence, who had on his head a kind of turban, wrapped about with spires as of a snake, the head of which stood out from the crown; his face was leprous from the forehead to the chin, and so were his hands; his loins were naked and as black as soot, through which was discernible in dusky transparence the fire as of a furnace; and the ankles of his feet were like two vipers. the former devil, on seeing him, fell on his knees, and adored him. on my asking why he did so, he said, "he is the god of heaven and earth, and is omnipotent." i then asked the other, "what do you say to this?" he replied, "what shall i say? i have all power over heaven and hell; the lot of all souls is in my hand." again i enquired, "how can he, who is emperor of emperors, so submit himself, and how can you receive adoration?" he answered, "he is still my servant; what is an emperor before god? the thunder of excommunication is in my right hand." i then said to him, "how can you be so insane? in the world you were only a canon; and because you were infected with the phantasy that you also had the keys of heaven, and thence the power of binding and loosing, you have inflamed your spirit to such a degree of madness, that you now believe yourself to be very god." upon this he swore with indignation that it was so, and said, "the lord has not any power in heaven, because he has transferred it all to us. we have only to give the word of command, and heaven and hell reverently obey us. if we send any one to hell, the devils immediately receive him; and so do the angels receive those whom we send to heaven." i asked further, "how many are there in your society?" he said, "three hundred; and we are all gods there; but i am god of gods." after this the earth opened beneath the feet of each, and they sank down into their respective hells; and i saw that beneath their hells were workhouses, into which those who injure others would fall; for every one in hell is left to his phantasy, and is also permitted to glory in it; but he is not allowed to injure another. the reason why such are there, is, because a man is then in his spirit; and the spirit, after it is separated from the body, comes into the full liberty of acting according to its affections and consequent thoughts. i was afterwards permitted to look into their hells: that which contained the emperors of emperors and kings of kings, was full of all uncleanness; and the inhabitants appeared like various kinds of wild beasts, with fierce eyes; and so it was in the other, which contained the gods and the god of gods: in it there appeared the direful birds of night, which are called _ochim_ and _ijim_, flying about them. the images of their phantasies were presented to me under this appearance. from these circumstances it was manifest, what is the nature and quality of political and ecclesiastical self-love; that the latter would make its votaries desirous of being gods, while the former would make them desirous of being emperors; and that under the influence of such loves men wish and strive to attain the objects of their desires, so far as they are left without restraint. . afterwards a hell was opened, where i saw two men, one sitting on a bench, holding his feet in a basket full of serpents which seemed to be creeping upwards by his breast even to his neck; and the other sitting on a blazing ass, at whose sides red serpents were creeping, raising their heads and necks, and pursuing the rider. i was told that they had been popes who had compelled emperors to resign their dominions, and had ill-treated them both in word and deed at rome, whither they went to supplicate and adore them; and that the basket in which were the serpents, and the blazing ass with snakes at his sides, were representations of their love of dominion grounded on self-love, and that such appearances are seen only by those who look at them from a distance. there were some canons present, whom i asked whether those had really been popes? they said, that they were acquainted with them, and knew that they had been such. . after beholding these sad and hideous spectacles, i looked around, and saw two angels in conversation standing near me. one wore a woollen robe that shone bright with flaming purple, and under it a vest of fine bright linen; the other had on similar garments of scarlet, together with a turban studded on the right side with carbuncles. i approached them, and, greeting them with a salutation of peace, respectfully asked them, "for what purpose are you here below?" they replied, "we have let ourselves down from heaven by the lord's command, to speak with you respecting the blessed lot of those who are desirous to have dominion from the love of uses. we are worshipers of the lord. i am prince of a society; my companion is chief priest of the same." the prince moreover said, "i am the servant of my society, because i serve it by doing uses:" the other said, "i am minister of the church there, because in serving them i minister holy things to the uses of their souls. we both are in perpetual joys grounded in the eternal happiness which is in them from the lord. all things in our society are splendid and magnificent; they are splendid from gold and precious stones, and magnificent from palaces and paradises. the reason of this is, because our love of dominion is not grounded in self-love, but in the love of uses: and as the love of uses is from the lord, therefore all good uses in the heavens are splendid and refulgent; and as all in our society are in this love, therefore the atmosphere appears golden from the light which partakes of the sun's flame-principle, and the sun's flame-principle corresponds to that love." as they said this, they appeared to me to be encompassed with such a sphere, from which an aromatic odor issued that was perceivable by the senses. i mentioned this circumstance to them, and intreated them to continue their discourse respecting the love of uses; and they proceeded thus: "the dignities which we enjoy, we indeed sought after and solicited for no other end than that we might be enabled more fully to perform uses, and to extend them more widely. we are also encompassed with honor, and we accept it, not for ourselves, but for the good of the society; for the brethren and consociates, who form the commonalty of the society, scarcely know but that the honors of our dignities are in ourselves, and consequently that the uses which we perform are from ourselves; but we feel otherwise, being sensible that the honors of the dignities are out of ourselves, and that they are as the garments with which we are clothed; but that the uses which we perform, from the love of them, are within us from the lord: and this love receives its blessedness from communication by uses with others; and we know from experience, that so far as we do uses from the love thereof, so far that love increases, and with it wisdom, whereby communication is effected; but so far as we retain uses in ourselves, and do not communicate them, so far blessedness perishes: and in such case use becomes like food stored up in the stomach, which, not being dispersed, affords no nourishment to the body and its parts, but remains undigested, and thereby causes loathing: in a word, the whole heaven is nothing but a continent of use, from first principles to last. what is use but the actual love of our neighbor? and what holds the heavens together with this love?" on hearing this i asked, "how can any one know whether he performs uses from self-love, or from the love of uses? every man, both good and bad, performs uses, and that from some love. suppose that in the world there be a society composed of mere devils, and another composed of mere angels; i am of opinion that the devils in their society, from the fire of self-love, and the splendor of their own glory, would do as many uses as the angels in their society; who then can know from what love, and from what origin uses flow?" to this the two angels replied, "devils do uses for the sake of themselves and of reputation, that they may be raised to honors or may gain wealth; but angels do not do uses from such motives, but for the sake of uses from the love thereof. a man cannot discern the true quality of those uses; but the lord discerns it. every one who believes in the lord, and shuns evils as sins, performs uses from the lord; but every one who neither believes in the lord, nor shuns evils as sins, does uses from self and for the sake of self. this is the difference between the uses done by devils and those done by angels." having said this, the two angels departed; and i saw them from afar carried in a firy chariot like elias, and conveyed into their respective heavens. . the second memorable relation. not long after this interview with the angels, i entered a certain grove, and while i was walking there, i meditated on those who are in the concupiscence and consequent phantasy of possessing the things of the world; and then at some distance from me i saw two angels in conversation, and by turns looking at me; i therefore went nearer to them, and as i approached they thus accosted me: "we have perceived in ourselves that you are meditating on what we are conversing about, or that we are conversing on what you are meditating about, which is a consequence of the reciprocal communication of affections." i asked therefore what they were conversing about? they replied, "about phantasy, concupiscence, and intelligence; and just now about those who delight themselves in the vision and imagination of possessing whatever the world contains." i then entreated them to favor me with their sentiments on those three subjects,--concupiscence, phantasy, and intelligence. they began by saying, "every one is by birth interiorly in concupiscence, but by education exteriorly in intelligence; and no one is in intelligence, still less in wisdom, interiorly, thus as to his spirit, but from the lord: for every one is withheld from the concupiscence of evil, and held in intelligence, according as he looks to the lord, and is at the same time in conjunction with him; without this, a man is mere concupiscence; yet still in externals, or as to the body, he is in intelligence arising from education; for a man lusts after honors and wealth, or eminence and opulence, and in order to attain them, it is necessary that he appear moral and spiritual, thus intelligent and wise; and he learns so to appear from infancy. this the reason why, as soon as he comes among men, or into company, he inverts his spirit, and removes it from concupiscence, and speaks and acts from the fair and honorable maxims which he has learnt from infancy, and retains in the bodily memory: and he is particularly cautious, lest anything of the wild concupiscence prevalent in his spirit should discover itself. hence every man who is not interiorly led by the lord, is a pretender, a sycophant, a hypocrite, and thereby an apparent man, and yet not a man; of whom it may be said, that his shell or body is wise, and his kernel or spirit insane; also that his external is human, and his internal bestial. such persons, with the hinder part of the head look upwards, and with the fore part downwards; thus they walk as if oppressed with heaviness, with the head hanging down and the countenance prone to the earth; and when they put off the body, and become spirits, and are thereby set at liberty from external restraints, they become the madnesses of their respective concupiscences. those who are in self-love desire to domineer over the universe, yea, to extend its limits in order to enlarge their dominion, of which they see no end: those who are in the love of the world desire to possess whatever the world contains, and are full of grief and envy in case any of its treasures are hid and concealed from them by others: therefore to prevent such persons from becoming mere concupiscences, and thereby no longer men, they are permitted in the spiritual world to think from a fear of the loss of reputation, and thereby of honor and gain, and also from a fear of the law and its penalties, and also to give their mind to some study or work whereby they are kept in externals and thus in a state of intelligence, however wild and insane they may be interiorly." after this i asked them, whether all who are in any concupiscence, are also in the phantasy thereof; they replied, that those are in the phantasy of their respective concupiscences, who think interiorly in themselves, and too much indulge their imagination by talking with themselves; for these almost separate their spirit from connection with the body, and by vision overflow the understanding, and take a foolish delight as if they were possessed of the universe and all that it contains: into this delirium every man comes after death, who has abstracted his spirit from the body, and has not wished to recede from the delight of the delirium by thinking at all religiously respecting evils and falses, and least of all respecting the inordinate love of self as being destructive of love to the lord, and respecting the inordinate love of the world, as being destructive of neighborly love. . after this the two angels and also myself were seized with a desire of seeing those who from worldly love are in the visionary concupiscence or phantasy of possessing all wealth; and we perceived that we were inspired with this desire to the end that such visionaries might be known. their dwellings were under the earth of our feet, but above hell: we therefore looked at each other and said, "let us go." there was an opening, and in it a ladder by which we descended; and we were told that we must approach them from the east, lest we should enter into the mist of their phantasy, whereby our understanding and at the same time our sight would be obscured; and lo! there appeared a house built of reeds, and consequently full of chinks, standing in a mist, which continually issued like smoke through the chinks of three of the walls. we entered, and saw perhaps fifty here and fifty there sitting on benches, with their faces turned from the east and south, and looking towards the west and north. before each person there was a table, on which were large purses, and by the purses a great quantity of gold coin: so we asked them, "is that the wealth of all the persons in the world?" they replied, "not of all in the world, but of all in the kingdom." the sound of their voice was hissing; and they had round faces, which glistened like the shell of a snail, and the pupils of their eyes in a green plane as it were shot forth lightning, which was an effect of the light of phantasy. we stood in the midst of them, and said, "you believe that you possess all the wealth of the kingdom;" they replied, "we do possess it." we then asked, "which of you?" they said, "every one;" and we asked, "how every one? there are many of you:" they said, "every one of us knows that all which another has is his own. no one is allowed to think, and still less to say, 'mine are not thine;' but every one may think and say, 'thine are mine.'" the coin on the tables appeared, even to us, to be pure gold; but when we let in light from the east, we saw that they were little grains of gold, which they had magnified to such a degree by a union of their common phantasy. they said, that every one that enters ought to bring with him some gold, which they cut into small pieces, and these again into little grains, and by the unanimous force of their phantasy they increase them into larger coin. we then said, "were you not born men of reason; whence then have you this visionary infatuation?" they said, "we know that it is an imaginary vanity; but as it delights the interiors of our minds, we enter here and are delighted as with the possession of all things: we continue in this place, however, only a few hours, at the end of which we depart; and as often as we do so we again become of sound mind; yet still our visionary delight alternately succeeds and occasions our alternate entrance into and departure from these habitations: thus we are alternately wise and foolish; we also know that a hard lot awaits those who by cunning rob others of their goods." we inquired, "what lot?" they said, "they are swallowed up and are thrust naked into some infernal prison, where they are kept to hard labor for clothes and food, and afterwards for some pieces of coin of trifling value, which they collect, and in which they place the joy of their hearts; but if they do any harm to their companions, they are fined a part of their coin." . afterwards we ascended from these hells to the south, where we had been before, and the angels related there several interesting particulars respecting concupiscence not visionary or phantastic, in which all men are born; namely, that while they are in it, they are like persons infatuated, and yet seem to themselves to be most eminently wise; and that from this infatuation they are alternately let into the rational principle which is in their externals; in which state they see, acknowledge, and confess their insanity; but still they are very desirous to quit their rational and enter their insane state; and also do let themselves into it, as into a free and delightful state succeeding a forced and undelightful one; thus it is concupiscence and not intelligence that interiorly pleases them. there are three universal loves which form the constituent principles of every man by creation: neighbourly love, which also is the love of doing uses; the love of the world, which also is the love of possessing wealth; and the love of self, which also is the love of bearing rule over others. neighbourly love, or the love of doing uses, is a spiritual love; but the love of the world, or the love of possessing wealth, is a material love; whereas the love of self, or the love of bearing rule over others, is a corporeal love. a man is a man while neighbourly love, or the love of doing uses, constitutes the head, the love of the world the body, and the love of self the feet; whereas if the love of the world constitutes the head, the man is as it were hunched-backed; but when the love of self constitutes the head, he is like a man standing not on his feet, but on the palms of his hands with his head downwards and his haunches upwards. when neighbourly love constitutes the head, and the two other loves in order constitute the body and feet, the man appears from heaven of an angelic countenance, with a beautiful rainbow about his head; whereas if the love of the world constitutes the head, he appears from heaven of a pale countenance like a corpse, with a yellow circle about his head; but if the love of self constitutes the head, he appears from heaven of a dusky countenance, with a white circle about his head. hereupon i asked, "what do the circles about the head represent?" they replied, "they represent intelligence; the white circle about the head of the dusky countenance represents, that his intelligence is in externals, or about him, but insanity is in his internals, or in him. a man also who is of such a quality and character, is wise while in the body, but insane while in the spirit; and no man is wise in spirit but from the lord, as is the case when he is regenerated and created again or anew by him." as they said this, the earth opened to the left, and through the opening i saw a devil rising with a white lucid circle around his head, and i asked him, who he was? he said, "i am lucifer, the son of the morning: and because i made myself like the most high, i was cast down." nevertheless he was not lucifer, but believed himself to be so. i then said, "since you were cast down, how can you rise again out of hell?" he replied, "there i am a devil, but here i am an angel of light: do you not see that my head is surrounded by a lucid sphere? you shall also see, if you wish, that i am super-moral among the moral, super-rational among the rational, yea, super-spiritual among the spiritual: i can also preach; yea, i have preached." i asked him, "what have you preached?" he said, "against fraudulent dealers and adulterers, and against all infernal loves; on this occasion too i, lucifer, called myself a devil, and denounced vengeance against myself as a devil; and therefore i was extolled to the skies with praises. hence it is that i am called the son of the morning; and, what i myself was surprised at, while i was in the pulpit, i thought no other than that i was speaking rightly and properly; but i discovered that this arose from my being in externals, which at that time were separated from my internals: but although i discovered this, still i could not change myself, because through my haughtiness i did not look to god." i next asked him, "how could you so speak, when you are yourself a fraudulent dealer, an adulterer, and a devil?" he answered, "i am one character when i am in externals or in the body, and another when in internals or in the spirit; in the body i am an angel, but in the spirit a devil; for in the body i am in the understanding, but in the spirit i am in the will; and the understanding carries me upwards, whereas the will carries me downwards. when i am in the understanding my head is surrounded by a white belt, but when the understanding submits itself entirely to the will, and becomes subservient to it, which is our last lot, the belt grows black and disappears; and when this is the case, we cannot again ascend into this light." afterwards he spoke of his twofold state, the external and the internal, more rationally than any other person; but on a sudden when he saw the angels attendant on me, his face and voice were inflamed, and he became black, even as to the belt round his head, and he sunk down into hell through the opening from which he arose. the bystanders, from what they had seen, came to this conclusion, that a man is such as his love, and not such as his understanding is; since the love easily draws over the understanding to its side, and enslaves it. i then asked the angels, "whence have devils such rationality?" they said, "it is from the glory of self-love; for self-love is surrounded by glory, and glory elevates the understanding even into the light of heaven; for with every man the understanding is capable of being elevated according to knowledges, but the will only by a life according to the truths of the church and of reason: hence even atheists, who are in the glory of reputation arising from self-love, and thence in a high conceit of their own intelligence, enjoy a more sublime rationality than many others; this, however, is only when they are in the thought of the understanding, and not when they are in the affection of the will. the affection of the will possesses a man's internal, whereas the thought of the understanding possesses his external." the angel further declared the reason why every man is constituted of the three loves above mentioned; namely, the love of use, the love of the world, and the love of self; which is, that he may think from god, although as from himself. he also said, that the supreme principles in a man are turned upwards to god, the middle outwards to the world, and the lowest downwards to self; and since the latter are turned downwards, a man thinks as from himself, when yet it is from god. . the third memorable relation. one morning on awaking from sleep my thoughts were deeply engaged on some arcana of conjugial love, and at length on this, "_in what region of the human mind does love truly conjugial reside, and thence in what region does conjugial cold reside_?" i knew that there are three regions of the human mind, one above the other, and that in the lowest region dwells natural love; in the superior, spiritual love; and in the supreme, celestial love; and that in each region there is a marriage of good and truth; and good is of love, and truth is of wisdom; that in each region there is a marriage of love and wisdom; and that this marriage is the same as the marriage of the will and the understanding, since the will is the receptacle of love, and the understanding the receptacle of wisdom. while i was thus deeply engaged in thought, lo! i saw two swans flying towards the north, and presently two birds of paradise flying towards the south, and also two turtle doves flying in the east: as i was watching their flight, i saw that the two swans bent their course from the north to the east, and the two birds of paradise from the south, also that they united with the two doves in the east, and flew together to a certain lofty palace there, about which there were olives, palms, and beeches. the palace had three rows of windows, one above the other; and while i was making my observations, i saw the swans fly into the palace through open windows in the lowest row, the birds of paradise through others in the middle row, and the doves through others in the highest. when i had observed this, an angel presented himself, and said, "do you understand what you have seen?" i replied, "in a small degree." he said, "that palace represents the habitations of conjugial love, such as are in human minds. its highest part, into which the doves flew, represents the highest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of good with its wisdom; the middle part, into which the birds of paradise flew, represents the middle region, where conjugial love dwells in the love of truth with its intelligence: and the lowest part, into which the swans flew, represents the lowest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of what is just and right with its knowledge. the three pairs of birds also signify these things; the pair of turtle doves signifies conjugial love of the highest region, the pair of birds of paradise conjugial love of the middle region, and the pair of swans conjugial love of the lowest region. similar things are signified by the three kinds of trees about the palace, the olives, palms, and beeches. we in heaven call the highest region of the mind celestial, the middle spiritual, and the lowest natural; and we perceive them as stories in a house, one above another, and an ascent from one to the other by steps as by stairs; and in each part as it were two apartments, one for love, the other for wisdom, and in front as it were a chamber, where love with its wisdom, or good with its truth, or, what is the same, the will with its understanding, consociate in bed. in that palace are presented as in an image all the arcana of conjugial love." on hearing this, being inflamed with a desire of seeing it, i asked whether anyone was permitted to enter and see it, as it was a representative palace? he replied, "none but those who are in the third heaven, because to them every representative of love and wisdom becomes real: from them i have heard what i have related to you, and also this particular, that love truly conjugial dwells in the highest region in the midst of mutual love, in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the will, and also in the midst of the perceptions of wisdom in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the understanding, and that they consociate in bed in the chamber which is in front, in the east." i also asked, "why are there two marriage-chambers?" he said, "the husband is in the marriage-chamber of the understanding, and the wife in that of the will." i then asked, "since conjugial love dwells there, where then does conjugial cold dwell?" he replied, "it dwells also in the supreme region, but only in the marriage-chamber of the understanding, that of the will being closed there: for the understanding with its truths, as often as it pleases, can ascend by a winding staircase into the highest region into its marriage-chamber; but if the will with the good of its love does not ascend at the same time into the consociate marriage-chamber, the latter is closed, and cold ensues in the other: this is _conjugial cold_. the understanding, while such cold prevails towards the wife, looks downwards to the lowest region, and also, if not prevented by fear, descends to warm itself there at an illicit fire." having thus spoken, he was about to recount further particulars respecting conjugial love from its images in that palace; but he said, "enough at this time; inquire first whether what has been already said is above the level of ordinary understandings; if it is, what need of saying more? but if not, more will be discovered." * * * * * on the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in marriages. . having treated of the causes of cold and separation, it follows from order that the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in marriages, should also be treated of; for it is well known, that although cold separates the minds (_animos_) of married partners at the present day, still they live together, and have children; which would not be the case, unless there were also apparent loves, alternately similar to or emulous of the warmth of genuine love. that these appearances are necessary and useful, and that without them there would be no houses, and consequently no societies, will be seen in what follows. moreover, some conscientious persons may be distressed with the idea, that the disagreement of mind subsisting between them and their married partners, and the internal alienation thence arising, may be their own fault, and may be imputed to them as such, and on this account they are grieved at the heart; but as it is out of their power to prevent internal disagreements, it is enough for them, by apparent love and favor, from conscientious motives to subdue the inconveniences which might arise: hence also friendship may possibly return, in which conjugial love lies concealed on the part of such, although not on the part of the other. but this subject, like the foregoing, from the great variety of its matter, shall be treated of in the following distinct articles: i. _in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent._ ii. _in the spiritual world all are joined together according to internal, but not according to external affections, unless these act in unity with the internal._ iii. _it is the external affections, according to which matrimony is generally contracted in the world._ iv. _but in case they are not influenced by internal affections, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house._ v. _nevertheless those bonds must continue in the world till the decease of one of the parties._ vi. _in cases of matrimony, in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are external affections, which assume a semblance of the internal and tend to consociate._ vii. _hence come apparent love, friendship, and favor between married partners._ viii. _these appearances are assumed conjugial semblances, and they are commendable, because useful and necessary._ ix. _these assumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a spiritual man (homo) conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and judgement._ x. _for various reasons these assumed conjugial semblances with natural men are founded in prudence._ xi. _they are for the sake of amendment and accommodation._ xii. _they are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid._ xiii. _they are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education of children._ xiv. _they are for the sake of peace in the house._ xv. _they are for the sake of reputation out of the house._ xvi. _they are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her relations; and thus from the fear of losing such favors._ xvii. _they are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thereby of avoiding disgrace._ xviii. _they are for the sake of reconciliation._ xix. _in case favor does not cease with the wife, when faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friendship resembling conjugial friendship, when the parties grow old._ xx. _there are various kinds of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other._ xxi. _in the world there are infernal marriages between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent. the reason of this is, because in the world every one is clothed with a material body, and this is overcharged with lusts, which are in it as dregs that fall to the bottom, when the must of the wine is clarified. such are the constituent substances of which the bodies of men in the world are composed. hence it is that the internal affections, which are of the mind, do not appear; and in many cases, scarce a grain of them transpires; for the body either absorbs them, and involves them in its dregs, or by simulation which has been learned from infancy conceals them deeply from the sight of others; and by these means the man puts himself into the state of every affection which he observes in another, and allures his affection to himself, and thus they unite. the reason why they unite is, because every affection has its delight, and delights tie minds together. but it would be otherwise if the internal affections, like the external, appeared visibly in the face and gesture, and were made manifest to the hearing by the tone of the speech; or if their delights were sensible to the nostrils or smell, as they are in the spiritual world: in such case, if they disagreed so as to be discordant, they would separate minds from each other, and according to the perception of antipathy, the minds would remove to a distance. from these considerations it is evident, that in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent. . ii. in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal, but not according to external affections, unless these act in unity with the internal. this is, because in the spiritual world the material body is rejected, which could receive and bring forth the forms of all affections, as we have said just above; and a man (_homo_) when stripped of that body is in his internal affections, which his body had before concealed: hence it is, that in the spiritual world similarities and dissimilarities, or sympathies and antipathies, are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the speech, and the gesture; wherefore in that world similitudes are conjoined, and dissimilitudes separated. this is the reason why the universal heaven is arranged by the lord according to all the varieties of the affections of the love of good and truth, and, on the contrary, hell according to all the varieties of the love of what is evil and false. as angels and spirits, like men in the world, have internal and external affections, and as, in the spiritual world, the internal affections cannot be concealed by the external, they therefore transpire and manifest themselves: hence with angels and spirits both the internal and external affections are reduced to similitude and correspondence; after which their internal affections are, by the external, imaged in their faces, and perceived in the tone of their speech; they also appear in their behaviour and manners. angels and spirits have internal and external affections, because they have minds and bodies; and affections with the thoughts thence derived belong to the mind, and sensations with the pleasures thence derived to the body. it frequently happens in the world of spirits, that friends meet after death, and recollect their friendships in the former world, and on such occasions believe that they shall live on terms of friendship as formerly; but when their consociation, which is only of the external affections, is perceived in heaven, a separation ensues according to their internal; and in this case some are removed from the place of their meeting into the north, some into the west, and each to such a distance from the other, that they can no longer see or know each other; for in the places appointed for them to remain at, their faces are changed so as to become the image of their internal affections. from these considerations it is manifest, that in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to external, unless these act in unity with the internal. . iii. it is the external affections according to which matrimony is generally contracted in the world. the reason of this is, because the internal affections are seldom consulted; and even if they are, still their similitude is not seen in the woman; for she, by a peculiar property with which she is gifted from her birth, withdraws the internal affections into the inner recesses of her mind. there are various external affections which induce men to engage in matrimony. the first affection of this age is an increase of property by wealth, as well with a view to becoming rich as for a plentiful supply of the comforts of life; the second is a thirst after honors, with a view either of being held in high estimation or of an increase of fortune: besides these, there are various allurements and concupiscences which do not afford an opportunity of ascertaining the agreement of the internal affections. from these few considerations it is manifest, that matrimony is generally contracted in the world according to external affections. . iv. but in case they are not influenced by internal affections, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house. it is said _in the house_, because it is done privately between the parties; as is the case when the first warmth, excited during courtship and breaking out into a flame as the nuptials approach, successively abates from the discordance of the internal affections, and at length passes off into cold. it is well known that in this case the external affections, which had induced and allured the parties to matrimony, disappear, so that they no longer effect conjunction. that cold arises from various causes, internal, external, and accidental, all which originate in a dissimilitude of internal inclinations, was proved in the foregoing chapter. from these considerations the truth of what was asserted is manifest, that unless the external affections are influenced by internal, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house. . v. nevertheless those bonds must continue in the world till the decease of one of the parties. this proposition is adduced to the intent that to the eye of reason it may more evidently appear how necessary, useful, and true it is, that where there is not genuine conjugial love, it ought still to be assumed, that it may appear as if there were. the case would be otherwise if the marriage contract was not to continue to the end of life, but might be dissolved at pleasure as was the case with the israelitish nation, who claimed to themselves the liberty of putting away their wives for every cause. this is evident from the following passage in matthew: "_the pharisees came, and said unto jesus, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? and when jesus answered, that it is not lawful to put away a wife and to marry another, except on account of whoredom, they replied that nevertheless moses commanded to give a bill of divorce and to put her away; and the disciples said, if the case of a man with his wife be so it is not expedient to marry_," xix. - . since therefore the covenant of marriage is for life, it follows that the appearances of love and friendship between married partners are necessary. that matrimony, when contracted, must continue till the decease of one of the parties, is grounded in the divine law, consequently also in rational law, and thence in civil law: in the divine law, because, as said above, it is not lawful to put away a wife and marry another, except for whoredom; in rational law, because it is founded upon spiritual, for divine law and rational are one law; from both these together, or by the latter from the former, it may be abundantly seen what enormities and destructions of societies would result from the dissolving of marriage, or the putting away of wives, at the good pleasure of the husbands, before death. those enormities and destructions of societies may in some measure be seen in the memorable relation respecting the origin of conjugial love, discussed by the spirits assembled from the nine kingdoms, n. - ; to which there is no need of adding further reasons. but these causes do not operate to prevent the permission of separations grounded in their proper causes, respecting which see above, n. - ; and also of concubinage, respecting which see the second part of this work. . vi. in case of matrimony in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are external affections which assume a semblance of the internal and tend to consolidate. by internal affections we mean the mutual inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from heaven; whereas by external affections we mean the inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from the world. the latter affections or inclinations indeed equally belong to the mind, but they occupy its inferior regions, whereas the former occupy the superior: but since both have their allotted seat in the mind, it may possibly be believed that they are alike and agree; yet although they are not alike, still they can appear so: in some cases they exist as agreements, and in some as insinuating semblances. there is a certain communion implanted in each of the parties from the earliest time of the marriage-covenant, which, notwithstanding their disagreement in minds (_animis_) still remains implanted; as a communion of possessions, and in many cases a communion of uses, and of the various necessities of the house, and thence also a communion of thoughts and of certain secrets; there is also a communion of bed, and of the love of children: not to mention several others, which, as they are inscribed on the conjugial covenant, are also inscribed on their minds. hence originate especially those external affections which resemble the internal; whereas those which only counterfeit them are partly from the same origin and partly from another; but on the subject of each more will be said in what follows. . vii. hence come apparent love, friendship, and favor between married partners. apparent loves, friendships, and favors between married partners, are a consequence of the conjugial covenant being ratified for the term of life, and of the conjugial communion thence inscribed on those who ratify it; whence spring external affections resembling the internal, as was just now indicated: they are moreover a consequence of their causes, which are usefulness and necessity: from which in part exist conjunctive external affections, or their counterfeit, whereby external love and friendship appear as internal. . viii. these appearances are assumed conjugial semblances; and they are commendable, because useful and necessary. they are called assumed semblances, because they exist with those who disagree in mind, and who from such disagreement are interiorly in cold: in this case, when they still appear to live united, as duty and decency require, their kind offices to each other may be called assumed conjugial semblances; which, as being commendable for the sake of uses, are altogether to be distinguished from hypocritical semblances; for hereby all those good things are provided for, which are commemorated in order below, from article xi-xx. they are commendable for the sake of necessity, because otherwise those good things would be unattained; and yet the parties are enjoined by a covenant and compact to live together, and hence it behoves each of them to consider it a duty to do so. . ix. these assumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a spiritual man (_homo_) conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and judgement. the reason of this is, because the spiritual man, in all he does, acts from justice and judgement; wherefore he does not regard these assumed semblances as alienated from their internal affections, but as connected with them; for he is in earnest, and respects amendment as an end; and if he does not obtain this, he respects accommodation for the sake of domestic order, mutual aid, the care of children, and peace and tranquillity. to these things he is led from a principle of justice; and from a principle of judgement he gives them effect. the reason why a spiritual man so lives with a natural one is, because a spiritual man acts spiritually, even with a natural man. . x. for various reasons, these assumed conjugial semblances with natural men are founded in prudence. in the case of two married partners of whom one is spiritual and the other natural, (by the spiritual we mean the one that loves spiritual things, and thereby is wise from the lord, and by the natural, the one that loves only natural things, and thereby is wise from himself,) when they are united in marriage, conjugial love with the spiritual partner is heat, and with the natural is cold. it is evident that heat and cold cannot remain together, also that heat cannot inflame him that is in cold, unless the cold be first dispersed, and that cold cannot flow into him that is in heat, unless the heat be first removed: hence it is that inward love cannot exist between married partners, one of whom is spiritual and the other natural; but that a love resembling inward love may exist on the part of the spiritual partner, as was said in the foregoing article; whereas between two natural married partners no inward love can exist, since each is cold; and if they have any heat, it is from something unchaste; nevertheless such persons may live together in the same house, with separate minds (_animis_), and also assume looks of love and friendship towards each other, notwithstanding the disagreement of their minds (_mentes_): in such case, the external affections, which for the most part relate to wealth and possessions, or to honor and dignities, may as it were be kindled into a flame; and as such enkindling induces fear for their loss, therefore assumed conjugial semblances are in such cases necessities, which are principally those adduced below in articles xv.-xvii. the rest of the causes adduced with these may have somewhat in common with those relating to the spiritual man; concerning which see above, n. ; but only in case the prudence with the natural man is founded in intelligence. . xi. they are for the sake of amendment and accommodation. the reason why assumed conjugial semblances, which are appearances of love and friendship subsisting between married partners who disagree in mind, are for the sake of amendment, is because a spiritual man (_homo_) connected with a natural one by the matrimonial covenant, intends nothing else but amendment of life; which he effects by judicious and elegant conversation, and by favors which soothe and flatter the temper of the other; but in case these things prove ineffectual, he intends accommodation, for the preservation of order in domestic affairs, for mutual aid, and for the sake of the infants and children, and other similar things; for, as was shown above, n. , whatever is said and done by a spiritual man (_homo_) is founded in justice and judgement. but with married partners, neither of whom is spiritual, but both natural, similar conduct may exist, but for other ends; if for the sake of amendment and accommodation, the end is, either that the other party may be reduced to a similitude of manners, and be made subordinate to his desires, or that some service may be made subservient to his own, or for the sake of peace within the house, of reputation out of it, or of favors hoped for by the married partner or his relations; not to mention other ends: but with some these ends are grounded in the prudence of their reason, with some in natural civility, with some in the delights of certain cupidities which have been familiar from the cradle, the loss of which is dreaded; besides several ends, which render the assumed kindnesses as of conjugial love more or less counterfeit. there may also be kindnesses as of conjugial love out of the house, and none within; those however respect as an end the reputation of both parties; and if they do not respect this, they are merely deceptive. . xii. they are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid. every house in which there are children, their instructors, and other domestics, is a small society resembling a large one. the latter also consists of the former, as a whole consists of its parts, and thereby it exists; and further, as the security of a large society depends on order, so does the security of this small society; wherefore as it behoves public magistrates to see and provide that order may exist and be preserved in a compound society, so it concerns married partners in their single society. but there cannot be this order if the husband and wife disagree in their minds (_animis_); for thereby mutual counsels and aids are drawn different ways, and are divided like their minds, and thus the form of the small society is rent asunder; wherefore to preserve order, and thereby to take care of themselves and at the same time of the house, or of the house and at the same time of themselves, lest they should come to hurt and fall to ruin, necessity requires that the master and mistress agree, and act in unity; and if, from the difference of their minds (_mentium_) this cannot be done so well as it might, both duty and propriety require that it be done by representative conjugial friendship. that hereby concord is established in houses for the sake of necessity and consequent utility, is well known. . xiii. they are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education of children. it is very well known that assumed conjugial semblances, which are appearances of love and friendship resembling such as are truly conjugial, exist with married partners for the sake of infants and children. the common love of the latter causes each married partner to regard the other with kindness and favor. the love of infants and children with the mother and the father unite as the heart and lungs in the breast. the love of them with the mother is as the heart, and the love towards them with the father is as the lungs. the reason of this comparison is, because the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to the understanding; and love grounded in the will belongs to the mother, and love grounded in the understanding to the father. with spiritual men (_homines_) there is conjugial conjunction by means of that love grounded in justice and judgement; in justice, because the mother had carried them in her womb, had brought them forth with pain, and afterwards with unwearied care suckles, nourishes, washes, dresses, and educates them, (and in judgement, because the father provides for their instruction in knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom). . xiv. they are for the sake of peace in the house. assumed conjugial semblances, or external friendships for the sake of domestic peace and tranquillity, relate principally to the men, who, from their natural characteristic, act from the understanding in whatever they do; and the understanding, being exercised in thought, is engaged in a variety of objects which disquiet, disturb, and distract the mind; wherefore if there were not tranquillity at home, it would come to pass that the vital spirits of the parties would grow faint, and their interior life would as it were expire, and thereby the health of both mind and body would be destroyed. the dreadful apprehension of these and several other dangers would possess the minds of the men, unless they had an asylum with their wives at home for appeasing the disturbances arising in their understandings. moreover peace and tranquillity give serenity to their minds, and dispose them to receive agreeably the kind attentions of their wives, who spare no pains to disperse the mental clouds which they are very quick-sighted to observe in their husbands: moreover, the same peace and tranquillity make the presence of their wives agreeable. hence it is evident, that an assumed semblance of love, as if it was truly conjugial, for the sake of peace and tranquillity at home, is both necessary and useful. it is further to be observed, that with the wives such semblances are not assumed as with the men; but if they appear to resemble them, they are the effect of real love, because wives are born loves of the understanding of the men; wherefore they accept kindly the favors of their husbands, and if they do not confess it with their lips, still they acknowledge it in heart. . xv. they are for the sake of reputation out of the house. the fortunes of men in general depend on their reputation for justice, sincerity, and uprightness; and this reputation also depends on the wife, who is acquainted with the most familiar circumstances of her husband's life; therefore if the disagreements of their minds should break out into open enmity, quarrels, and threats of hatred, and these should be noised abroad by the wife and her friends, and by the domestics, they would easily be turned into tales of scandal, which would bring disgrace and infamy upon the husband's name. to avoid such mischiefs, he has no other alternative than either to counterfeit affection for his wife, or that they be separated as to house. . xvi. they are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her relations, and thus from the fear of losing such favors. this is the case more especially in marriages where the rank and condition of the parties are dissimilar, concerning which, see above, n. ; as when a man marries a wealthy wife who stores up her money in purses, or her treasures in coffers; and the more so if she boldly insists that the husband is bound to support the house out of his own estate and income: that hence come forced likenesses of conjugial love, is generally known. the case is similar where a man marries a wife, whose parents, relations, and friends, are in offices of dignity, in lucrative business, and in employments with large salaries, who have it in their power to better her condition: that this also is a ground of counterfeit love, as if it were conjugial, is generally known. it is evident that in both cases it is the fear of the loss of the above favors that is operative. . xvii. they are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thereby of avoiding disgrace. there are several blemishes for which conjugial partners fear disgrace, some criminal, some not. there are blemishes of the mind and of the body slighter than those mentioned in the foregoing chapter n. and , which are causes of separation; wherefore those blemishes are here meant, which, to avoid disgrace, are buried in silence by the other married partner. besides these, in some cases there are contingent crimes, which, if made public, are subject to heavy penalties; not to mention a deficiency of that ability which the men usually boast of. that excuses of such blemishes, in order to avoid disgrace, are the causes of counterfeit love and friendship with a married partner, is too evident to need farther confirmation. . xviii. they are for the sake of reconciliation. that between married partners who have mental disagreements from various causes, there subsist alternate distrust and confidence, alienation and conjunction, yea, dispute and compromise, thus reconciliation; and also that apparent friendships promote reconciliation, is well known in the world. there are also reconciliations which take place after partings, which are not so alternate and transitory. . xix. in case favor does not cease with the wife, when faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friendship resembling conjugial friendship when the parties grow old. the primary cause of the separation of minds (_animorum_) between married partners is a falling off of favor on the wife's part in consequence of the cessation of ability on the husband's part, and thence a falling off of love; for just as heats communicate with each other, so also do colds. that from a falling off of love on the part of each, there ensues a cessation of friendship, and also of favor, if not prevented by the fear of domestic ruin, is evident both from reason and experience. in case therefore the man tacitly imputes the causes to himself, and still the wife perseveres in chaste favor towards him, there may thence result a friendship, which, since it subsists between married partners, appears to resemble conjugial love. that a friendship resembling the friendship of that love, may subsist between married partners, when old, experience testifies from the tranquillity, security, loveliness, and abundant courtesy with which they live, communicate, and associate together. . xx. there are various kinds of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other. it is no secret in the world at this day, that as the first fervor of marriage begins to abate, there arises a rivalship between the parties respecting right and power; respecting right, in that according to the statutes of the covenant entered into, there is an equality, and each has dignity in the offices of his or her function; and respecting power, in that it is insisted on by the men, that in all things relating to the house, superiority belongs to them, because they are men, and inferiority to the women because they are women. such rivalships, at this day familiar, arise from no other source than a want of conscience respecting love truly conjugial, and of sensible perception respecting the blessedness of that love; in consequence of which want, lust takes the place of that love, and counterfeits it; and, on the removal of genuine love, there flows from this lust a grasping for power, in which some are influenced by the delight of the love of domineering, which in some is implanted by artful women before marriage, and which to some is unknown. where such grasping prevails with the men, and the various turns of rivalship terminate in the establishment of their sway, they reduce their wives either to become their rightful property, or to comply with their arbitrary will, or into a state of slavery, every one according to the degree and qualified state of that grasping implanted and concealed in himself; but where such grasping prevails with the wives, and the various turns of rivalship terminate in establishing their sway, they reduce their husbands either into a state of equality of right with themselves, or of compliance with their arbitrary will, or into a state of slavery: but as when the wives have obtained the sceptre of sway, there remains with them a desire which is a counterfeit of conjugial love, and is restrained both by law and by the fear of legitimate separation, in case they extend their power beyond the rule of right into what is contrary thereto, therefore they lead a life in consociation with their husbands. but what is the nature and quality of the love and friendship between a ruling wife and a serving husband, and also between a ruling husband and a serving wife, cannot be briefly described; indeed, if their differences were to be specifically pointed out and enumerated, it would occupy several pages; for they are various and diverse--various according to the nature of the grasping for power prevalent with the men, and in like manner with the wives; and diverse in regard to the differences subsisting in the men and the women; for such men have no friendship of love but what is infatuated, and such wives are in the friendship of spurious love grounded in lust. but by what arts wives procure to themselves power over the men, will be shewn in the following article. . xxi. in the world there are infernal marriages between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends. i am indeed forbidden by the wives of this sort, in the spiritual world, to present such marriages to public view; for they are afraid lest their art of obtaining power over the men should at the same time be divulged, which yet they are exceedingly desirous to have concealed: but as i am urged by the men in that world to expose the causes of the intestine hatred and as it were fury excited in their hearts against their wives, in consequence of their clandestine arts, i shall be content with adducing the following particulars. the men said, that unwittingly they contracted a terrible dread of their wives, in consequence of which they were constrained to obey their decisions in the most abject manner, and be at their beck more than the vilest servants, so that they lost all life and spirit; and that this was the case not only with those who were in inferior stations of life, but also with those who were advanced in high dignities, yea with brave and famous generals: they also said, that after they had contracted this dread, they could not help on every occasion expressing themselves to their wives in a friendly manner, and doing what was agreeable to their humors, although they cherished in their hearts a deadly hatred against them; and further, that their wives still behaved courteously to them both in word and deed, and complaisantly attended to some of their requests. now as the men themselves greatly wondered, whence such an antipathy could arise in their internals, and such an apparent sympathy in their externals, they examined into the causes thereof from some women who were acquainted with the above secret art. from this source of information they learned, that women (_mulieres_) are skilled in a knowledge which they conceal deeply in their own minds, whereby, if they be so disposed, they can subject the men to the yoke of their authority; and that this is effected in the case of ignorant wives, sometimes by alternate quarrel and kindness, sometimes by harsh and unpleasant looks, and sometimes by other means; but in the case of polite wives, by urgent and persevering petitions, and by obstinate resistance to their husbands in case they suffer hardships from them, insisting on their right of equality by law, in consequence of which they are firm and resolute in their purpose; yea, insisting that if they should be turned out of the house, they would return at their pleasure, and would be urgent as before; for they know that the men by their nature cannot resist the positive tempers of their wives but that after compliance they submit themselves to their disposal; and that in this case the wives make a show of all kinds of civility and tenderness to their husbands subjected to their sway. the genuine cause of the dominion which the wives obtain by this cunning is, that the man acts from the understanding and the woman from the will, and that the will can persist, but not so the understanding. i have been told, that the worst of this sort of women, who are altogether a prey to the desire of dominion, can remain firm in their positive humors even to the last struggle for life. i have also heard the excuses pleaded by such women (_mulieres_) for entering upon the exercise of this art; in which they urged that they would not have done so unless they had foreseen supreme contempt and future rejection, and consequent ruin on their part, if they should be subdued by their husbands: and that thus they had taken up these their arms from necessity. to this excuse they add this admonition for the men; to leave their wives their own rights, and while they are in alternations of cold, not to consider them as beneath their maid-servants: they said also that several of their sex, from their natural timidity, are not in a state of exercising the above art; but i added, from their natural modesty. from the above considerations it may now be known what is meant by infernal marriages in the world between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are like the most attached friends. * * * * * . to the above i will add two memorable relations. first. some time ago as i was looking through a window to the east, i saw seven women sitting in a garden of roses at a certain fountain, and drinking the water. i strained my eye-sight greatly to see what they were doing, and this effort of mine affected them; wherefore one of them beckoned me, and i immediately quitted the house and came to them. when i joined them, i courteously inquired whence they were. they said, "we are wives, and are here conversing respecting the delights of conjugial love, and from much consideration we conclude, that they are also the delights of wisdom." this answer so delighted my mind (_animum_), that i seemed to be in the spirit, and thence in perception more interior and more enlightened than on any former occasion; wherefore i said to them, "give me leave to propose a few questions respecting those satisfactions." on their consenting, i asked, "how do you wives know that the delights of conjugial love are the same as the delights of wisdom?" they replied, "we know it from the correspondence of our husbands' wisdom with our own delights of conjugial love; for the delights of this love with ourselves are exalted and diminished and altogether qualified, according to the wisdom of our husbands." on hearing this, i said, "i know that you are affected by the agreeable conversation of your husbands and their cheerfulness of mind, and that you derive thence a bosom delight; but i am surprised to hear you say, that their wisdom produces this effect; but tell me what is wisdom, and what wisdom (produces this effect)?" to this the wives indignantly replied, "do you suppose that we do not know what wisdom is, and what wisdom (produces that effect), when yet we are continually reflecting upon it as in our husbands, and learn it daily from their mouths? for we wives think of the state of our husbands from morning to evening; there is scarcely an hour in the day, in which our intuitive thought is altogether withdrawn from them, or is absent; on the other hand, our husbands think very little in the day respecting our state; hence we know what wisdom of theirs it is that gives us delight. our husbands call that wisdom spiritual rational, and spiritual moral. spiritual rational wisdom, they say, is of the understanding and knowledges, and spiritual moral wisdom of the will and life; but these they join together and make a one, and insist that the satisfactions of this wisdom are transferred from their minds into the delights in our bosoms, and from our bosoms into theirs, and thus return to wisdom their origin." i then asked, "do you know anything more respecting the wisdom of your husbands which gives you delight?" they said, "we do. there is spiritual wisdom, and thence rational and moral wisdom. spiritual wisdom is to acknowledge the lord the saviour as the god of heaven and earth, and from him to procure the truths of the church, which is effected by means of the word and of preachings derived therefrom, whence comes spiritual rationality; and from him to live according to those truths, whence comes spiritual morality. these two our husbands call the wisdom which in general operates to produce love truly conjugial. we have heard from them also that the reason of this is, because, by means of that wisdom, the interiors of their minds and thence of their bodies are opened, whence there exists a free passage from first principles even to last for the stream of love; on the flow, sufficiency, and virtue of which conjugial love depends and lives. the spiritual rational and moral wisdom of our husbands, specifically in regard to marriage, has for its end and object to love the wife alone, and to put away all concupiscence for other women; and so far as this is effected, so far that love is exalted as to degree, and perfected as to quality; and also so far we feel more distinctly and exquisitely the delights in ourselves corresponding to the delights of the affections and the satisfactions of the thoughts of our husbands." i inquired afterwards, whether they knew how communication is effected. they said, "in all conjunction by love there must be action, reception, and reaction. the delicious state of our love is acting or action, the state of the wisdom of our husbands is recipient or reception, and also is reacting or reaction according to perception; and this reaction we perceive with delights in the breast according to the state continually expanded and prepared to receive those things which in any manner agree with the virtue belonging to our husbands, thus also with the extreme state of love belonging to ourselves, and which thence proceed." they said further, "take heed lest by the delights which we have mentioned, you understand the ultimated delights of that love: of these we never speak, but of our bosom delights, which always correspond with the state of the wisdom of our husbands." after this there appeared at a distance as it were a dove flying with the leaf of a tree in its mouth: but as it approached, instead of a dove i saw it was a little boy with a paper in his hand: on coming to us he held it out to me, and said, "read it before these maidens of the fountain." i then read as follows, "tell the inhabitants of your earth, that there is a love truly conjugial having myriads of delights, scarce any of which are as yet known to the world; but they will be known, when the church betroths herself to her lord, and is married." i then asked, "why did the little boy call you maidens of the fountain?" they replied, "we are called maidens when we sit at this fountain; because we are affections of the truths of the wisdom of our husbands, and the affection of truth is called a maiden; a fountain also signifies the true of wisdom, and the bed of roses, on which we sir, the delights thereof." then one of the seven wove a garland of roses, and sprinkled it with water of the fountain, and placed it on the boy's cap round his little head, and said, "receive the delights of intelligence; know that a cap signifies intelligence; and a garland from this rose-bed delights." the boy thus decorated then departed, and again appeared a distance like a flying dove, but now with a coronet on his head. . the second memorable relation. after some days i again saw the seven wives in a garden of roses, but not in the same as before. its magnificence was such as i had never before seen: it was round, and the roses in it formed as it were a rainbow. the roses or flowers of a purple color formed its outermost circle, others of a yellow golden color formed the next interior circle, within this were others of a bright blue, and the inmost of a shining green; and within this rainbow rose-bed was a small lake of limpid water. these seven wives, who were called the maidens of the fountain, as they were sitting there seeing me again at the window, called me to them; and when i was come they said, "did you ever see anything more beautiful upon the earth?" i replied, "never." they then said, "such scenery is created instantaneously by the lord, and represents something new on the earth; for every thing created by the lord is representative: but what is this? tell, if you can: we say it is the delights of conjugial love." on hearing this, i said, "what! the delights of conjugial love, respecting which you before conversed with so much wisdom and eloquence! after i had left you, i related your conversation to some wives in our country, and said, 'i now know from instruction that you have bosom delights arising from your conjugial love, which you can communicate to your husbands according to their wisdom, and that on this account you look at your husbands with the eyes of your spirit from morning to evening, and study to bend and draw their minds (_animos_) to become wise, to the end that you may secure those delights.' i mentioned also that by wisdom you understand spiritual rational and moral wisdom, and in regard to marriage, the wisdom to love the wife alone, and to put away all concupiscence for other women: but to these things the wives of our country answered with laughter, saying, 'what is all this but mere idle talk? we do not know what conjugial love is. if our husbands possess any portion of it, still we do not; whence then come its delights to us? yea, in regard to what you call ultimate delights, we at times refuse them with violence, for they are unpleasant to us, almost like violations: and you will see, if you attend to it, no sign of such love in our faces: wherefore you are trifling or jesting, if you also assert, with those seven wives, that we think of our husbands from morning to evening, and continually attend to their will and pleasure in order to catch from them such delights.' i have retained thus much of what they said, that i might relate it to you; since it is repugnant, and also in manifest contradiction, to what i heard from you near the fountain, and which i so greedily imbibed and believed." to this the wives sitting in the rose garden replied, "friend, you know not the wisdom and prudence of wives; for they totally hide it from the men, and for no other end than that they may be loved: for every man who is not spiritually but only naturally rational and moral, is cold towards his wife; and the cold lies concealed in his inmost principles. this is exquisitely and acutely observed by a wise and prudent wife; who so far conceals her conjugial love, and withdraws it into her bosom, and there hides it so deeply that it does not at all appear in her face, in the tone of her voice, or in her behaviour. the reason of this is, because so far as it appears, so far the conjugial cold of the man diffuses itself from the inmost principles of his mind, where it resides, into its ultimates, and occasions in the body a total coldness, and a consequent endeavour to separate from bed and chamber." i then asked, "whence arises that which you call conjugial cold?" they replied, "from the insanity of the men in regard to spiritual things; and every one who is insane in regard to spiritual things; in his inmost principles is cold towards his wife, and warm towards harlots; and since conjugial love and adulterous love are opposite to each other, it follows that conjugial love becomes cold when illicit love is warm; and when cold prevails with the man, he cannot endure any sense of love, and thus not any allusion thereto, from his wife; therefore the wife so wisely and prudently conceals that love; and so far as she conceals it by denying and refusing it, so far the man is cherished and recruited by the influent meretricious sphere. hence it is, that the wife of such a man has no bosom delights such as we have, but only pleasures, which, on the part of the man, ought to be called the pleasures of insanity, because they are the pleasures of illicit love. every chaste wife loves her husband, even if he be unchaste; but since wisdom is alone recipient of that love, therefore she exerts all her endeavours to turn his insanity into wisdom, that is, to prevent his lusting after other women besides herself. this she does by a thousand methods, being particularly cautious lest any of them should be discovered by the man; for she is well aware that love cannot be forced, but that it is insinuated in freedom; wherefore it is given to women to know from the sight, the hearing, and the touch, every state of the mind of their husbands; but on the other hand it is not given to the men to know any state of the mind of their wives. a chaste wife can look at her husband with an austere countenance, accost him with a harsh voice, and also be angry and quarrel, and yet in her heart cherish a soft and tender love towards him; but such anger and dissimulation have for their end wisdom, and thereby the reception of love with the husband: as is manifest from the consideration, that she can be reconciled in an instant. besides, wives use such means of concealing the love implanted in their inmost heart, with a view to prevent conjugial cold bursting forth with the man, and extinguishing the fire of his adulterous heat, and thus converting him from green wood into a dry stick." when the seven wives had expressed these and many more similar sentiments, their husbands came with clusters of grapes in their hands, some of which were of a delicate, and some of a disagreeable flavor; upon which the wives said, "why have you also brought bad or wild grapes?" the husbands replied, "because we perceived in our souls, with which yours are united, that you were conversing with that man respecting love truly conjugial, that its delights are the delights of wisdom, and also respecting adulterous love, that its delights are the pleasures of insanity. the latter are the disagreeable or wild grapes; the former are those of delicate flavor." they confirmed what their wives had said, and added that, "in externals, the pleasures of insanity appear like the delights of wisdom, but not so in internals; just like the good and bad grapes which we have brought; for both the chaste and the unchaste have similar wisdom in externals, but altogether dissimilar in internals." after this the little boy came again with a piece of paper in his hand, and held it out to me, saying, "read this;" and i read as follows: "know that the delights of conjugial love ascend to the highest heaven, and both in the way thither and also there, unite with the delights of all heavenly loves, and thereby enter into their happiness, which endures for ever; because the delights of that love are also the delights of wisdom: and know also, that the pleasures of illicit love descend even to the lowest hell, and, both in the way thither and also there, unite with the pleasures of all infernal loves, and thereby enter into their unhappiness, which consists in the wretchedness of all heart-delights; because the pleasures of that love are the pleasures of insanity." after this the husbands departed with their wives, and accompanied the little boy as far as to the way of his ascent into heaven; and they knew that the society from which he was sent was a society of the new heaven, with which the new church in the world will be conjoined. * * * * * on betrothings and nuptials. . the subject of betrothings and nuptials, and also of the rites and ceremonies attending them, is here treated of principally from the reason of the understanding; for the object of this book is that the reader may see truths rationally, and thereby give his consent, for thus his spirit is convinced; and those things in which the spirit is convinced, obtain a place above those which, without consulting reason, enter from authority and the faith of authority; for the latter enter the head no further than into the memory, and there mix themselves with fallacies and falses; thus they are beneath the rational things of the understanding. from these any one may seem to converse rationally, but he will converse preposterously; for in such case he thinks as a crab walks, the sight following the tail: it is otherwise if he thinks from the understanding; for then the rational sight selects from the memory whatever is suitable, whereby it confirms truth viewed in itself. this is the reason why in this chapter several particulars are adduced which are established customs, as that the right of choice belongs to the men, that parents ought to be consulted, that pledges are to be given, that the conjugial covenant is to be settled previous to the nuptials, that it ought to be performed by a priest, also that the nuptials ought to be celebrated; besides several other particulars, which are here mentioned in order that every one may rationally see that such things are assigned to conjugial love, as requisite to promote and complete it. the articles into which this section is divided are the following; i. _the right of choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman._ ii. _the man ought to court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the woman the man._ iii. _the woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself, before she consents._ iv. _after a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given._ v. _consent is to be secure and established by solemn betrothing._ vi. _by betrothing, each party is prepared for conjugial love._ vii. _by betrothing, the mind of the one is united to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit previous to a marriage of the body._ viii. _this is the case with those who think chastely of marriages: but it is otherwise with those who think unchastely of them._ ix. _within the time of betrothing, it is not allowable to be connected corporeally._ x. _when the time of betrothing is completed, the nuptials ought to take place._ xi. _previous to the celebration of the nuptials, the conjugial covenant is to be ratified in the presence of witnesses._ xii. _the marriage is to be consecrated by a priest._ xiii. _the nuptials are to be celebrated with festivity._ xiv. _after the nuptials, the marriage of the spirit is made also the marriage of the body, and thereby a full marriage._ xv. _such is the order of conjugial love with its modes from its first heat to its first torch._ xvi. _conjugial love precipitated without order and the modes thereof, burns up the marrows and is consumed._ xvii. _the states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; nevertheless in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural._ xviii. _there are successive and simultaneous orders, and the latter is from the former and according to it._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. the right of choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman. this is because the man is born to be understanding, but the woman to be love; also because with the men there generally prevails a love of the sex, but with the women a love of one of the sex; and likewise because it is not unbecoming for men to speak openly about love, as it is for women; nevertheless women have the right of selecting one of their suitors. in regard to the first reason, that the right of choice belongs to the men, because they are born to understanding, it is grounded in the consideration that the understanding can examine agreements and disagreements, and distinguish them, and from judgement choose that which is suitable: it is otherwise with the women, because they are born to love, and therefore have no such discrimination; and consequently their determinations to marriage would proceed only from the inclinations of their love; if they have the skill of distinguishing between men and men, still their love is influenced by appearances. in regard to the other reason, that the right of choice belongs to the men, and not to the women, because with men there generally prevails a love of the sex, and with women a love of one of the sex, it is grounded in the consideration, that those in whom a love of the sex prevails, can freely look around and also determine: it is otherwise with women, in whom is implanted a love for one of the sex. if you wish for a proof of this, ask, if you please, the men you meet, what their sentiments are respecting monogamical and polygamical unions; and you will seldom meet one who will not reply in favor of the polygamical; and this also is a love of the sex: but ask the women their sentiments on the subject, and almost all, except the vilest of the sex, will reject polygamical unions; from which consideration it follows, that with the women there prevails a love of one of the sex, thus conjugial love. in regard to the third reason, that it is not unbecoming for men to speak openly about love, whereas it is for women, it is self-evident; hence also it follows, that declaration belongs to the men, and therefore so does choice. that women have the right of selecting in regard to their suitors, is well known; but this species of selection is confined and limited, whereas that of the men is extended and unlimited. . ii. the man ought to court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the woman the man. this naturally follows the right of choice; and besides, to court and intreat women respecting marriage is in itself honorable and becoming for men, but not for women. if women were to court and entreat the men, they would not only be blamed, but, after intreaty, they would be reputed as vile, or after marriage as libidinous, with whom there would be no association but what was cold and fastidious; wherefore marriages would thereby be converted into tragic scenes. wives also take it as a compliment to have it said of them, that being conquered as it were, they yielded to the pressing intreaties of the men. who does not foresee, that if the women courted the men, they would seldom be accepted? they would either be indignantly rejected, or be enticed to lasciviousness, and also would dishonor their modesty. moreover, as was shewn above, the men have not any innate love of the sex; and without love there is no interior pleasantness of life: wherefore to exalt their life by that love, it is incumbent on the men to compliment the women; courting and intreating them with civility, courtesy, and humility, respecting this sweet addition to their life. the superior comeliness of the female countenance, person, and manners, above that of the men, adds itself as a proper object of desire. . iii. the woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself, before she consents. the reason why parents are to be consulted is, because they deliberate from judgement, knowledge, and love; from _judgement_, because they are in an advanced age, which excels in judgement, and discerns what is suitable and unsuitable: from _knowledge_, in respect to both the suitor and their daughter; in respect to the suitor they procure information, and in respect to their daughter they already know; wherefore they conclude respecting both with united discernment: from _love_, because to consult the good of their daughter, and to provide for her establishment, is also to consult and provide for their own and for themselves. . the case would be altogether different, if the daughter consents of herself to her urgent suitor, without consulting her parents, or those who are in their place; for she cannot from judgement, knowledge, and love, make a right estimate of the matter which so deeply concerns her future welfare: she cannot from _judgement_, because she is as yet in ignorance as to conjugial life, and not in a state of comparing reasons, and discovering the morals of men from their particular tempers; nor from _knowledge_, because she knows few things beyond the domestic concerns of her parents and of some of her companions; and is unqualified to examine into such things as relate to the family and property of her suitor: nor from _love_, because with daughters in their first marriageable age, and also afterwards, this is led by the concupiscences originating in the senses, and not as yet by the desires originating in a refined mind. the daughter ought nevertheless to deliberate on the matter with herself, before she consents, lest she should be led against her will to form a connection with a man whom she does not love; for by so doing, consent on her part would be wanting; and yet it is consent that constitutes marriage, and initiates the spirit into conjugial love; and consent against the will, or extorted, does not initiate the spirit, although it may the body; and thus it converts chastity, which resides in the spirit, into lust; whereby conjugial love in its first warmth is vitiated. . iv. after a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given. by pledges we mean presents, which, after consent, are confirmations, testifications, first favors, and gladnesses. those presents are _confirmations_, because they are certificates of consent on each side; wherefore, when two parties consent to anything, it is customary to say, "give me a token;" and of two, who have entered into a marriage engagement, and have secured it by presents, that they are pledged, thus confirmed. they are _testifications_, because those pledges are continual visible witnesses of mutual love; hence also they are memorials thereof; especially if they be rings, perfume-bottles or boxes, and ribbons, which are worn in sight. in such things there is a sort of representative image of the minds (_animorum_) of the bridegroom and the bride. those pledges are _first favors_, because conjugial love engages for itself everlasting favor; whereof those gifts are the first fruits. that they are the _gladnesses_ of love, is well known, for the mind is exhilarated at the sight of them; and because love is in them, those favors are dearer and more precious than any other gifts, it being as if their hearts were in them. as those pledges are securities of conjugial love, therefore presents after consent were in use with the ancients; and after accepting such presents the parties were declared to be bridegroom and bride. but it is to be observed that it is at the pleasure of the parties to bestow those presents either before or after the act of betrothing; if before, they are confirmations and testifications of consent to betrothing; if after it, they are also confirmations and testifications of consent to the nuptial tie. . v. consent is to be secured and established by solemn betrothing. the reasons for betrothings are these: . that after betrothing the souls of the two parties may mutually incline towards each other. . that the universal love for the sex may be determined to one of the sex. . that the interior affections may be mutually known, and by applications in the internal cheerfulness of love, may be conjoined. . that the spirits of both parties may enter into marriage, and be more and more consociated. . that thereby conjugial love may advance regularly from its first warmth even to the nuptial flame. consequently: . that conjugial love may advance and grow up in just order from its spiritual origin. the state of betrothing may be compared to the state of spring before summer; and the internal pleasantness of that state to the flowering of trees before fructification. as the beginning and progressions of conjugial love proceed in order for the sake of their influx into the effective love, which commences at the nuptials, therefore, there are also betrothings in the heavens. . vi. by betrothing each party is prepared for conjugial love. that the mind or spirit of one of the parties is by betrothing prepared for union with the mind or spirit of the other, or what is the same, that the love of the one is prepared for union with the love of the other, appears from the arguments just adduced. besides which it is to be noted, that on love truly conjugial is inscribed this order, that it ascends and descends; it ascends from its first heat progressively upwards towards the souls of the parties, with an endeavour to effect their conjunction, and this by continual interior openings of their minds; and there is no love which strives more intensely to effect such openings, or which is more powerful and expert in opening the interiors of minds, than conjugial love; for the soul of each of the parties intends this: but at the same moments in which that love ascends towards the soul, it descends also towards the body, and thereby clothes itself. it is however to be observed, that conjugial love is such in its descent as it is in the height to which it ascends: if it ascends high, it descends chaste; but if not, it descends unchaste: the reason of this is, because the lower principles of the mind are unchaste, but its higher are chaste; for the lower principles of the mind adhere to the body, but the higher separate themselves from them: but on this subject see further particulars below, n. . from these few considerations it may appear, that, by betrothing, the mind of each of the parties is prepared for conjugial love, although in a different manner according to the affections. . vii. by betrothing the mind of one is united to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit, previous to a marriage of the body. as this follows of consequence from what was said above, n. , , we shall pass it by, without adducing any further confirmations from reason. . viii. this is the case with those who think chastely of marriages; but it is otherwise with those who think unchastely of them. with the chaste, that is, with those who think religiously of marriages, the marriage of the spirit precedes, and that of the body is subsequent; and these are those with whom love ascends towards the soul, and from its height thence descends; concerning whom see above, n. . the souls of such separate themselves from the unlimited love for the sex, and devote themselves to one, with whom they look for an everlasting and eternal union and its increasing blessednesses, as the cherishers of the hope which continually recreates their mind; but it is quite otherwise with the unchaste, that is, with those who do not think religiously of marriages and their holiness. with these there is a marriage of the body, but not of the spirit: if, during the state of betrothment, there be any appearance of a marriage of the spirit, still, if it ascends by an elevation of the thoughts concerning it, it nevertheless falls back again to the concupiscences which arise from the flesh in the will; and thus from the unchaste principles therein it precipitates itself into the body, and defiles the ultimates of its love with an alluring ardor; and as, in consequence of this ardor, it was in the beginning all on fire, so its fire suddenly goes out, and passes off into the cold of winter; whence the failing (of power) is accelerated. the state of betrothing with such scarcely answers any other purpose, than that they may fill their concupiscences with lasciviousness, and thereby contaminate the conjugial principle of love. . ix. within the time of betrothing it is not allowable to be connected corporeally. for thus the order which is inscribed on conjugial love, perishes. for in human minds there are three regions, of which the highest is called the celestial, the middle the spiritual, and the lowest the natural. in this lowest man is born; but he ascends into the next above it, the spiritual, by a life according to the truths of religion, and into the highest by the marriage of love and wisdom. in the lowest or natural region, reside all the concupiscences of evil and lasciviousness; but in the superior or spiritual region, there are no concupiscences of evil and lasciviousness; for man is introduced into this region by the lord, when he is re-born; but in the supreme or celestial region, there is conjugial chastity in its love: into this region a man is elevated by the love of uses; and as the most excellent uses are from marriages, he is elevated into it by love truly conjugial. from these few considerations, it may be seen that conjugial love, from the first beginnings of its warmth, is to be elevated out of the lowest region into a superior region, that it may become chaste, and that thereby from a chaste principle it may be let down through the middle and lowest regions into the body; and when this is the case, this lowest region is purified from all that is unchaste by this descending chaste principle: hence the ultimate of that love becomes also chaste. now if the successive order of this love is precipitated by connections of the body before their time, it follows, that the man acts from the lowest region, which is by birth unchaste; and it is well known, that hence commences and arises cold in regard to marriage, and disdainful neglect in regard to a married partner. nevertheless events of various kinds take place in consequence of hasty connections; also in consequence of too long a delay, and too quick a hastening, of the time of betrothing; but these, from their number and variety, can hardly be adduced. . x. when the time of betrothing is completed, the nuptials ought to take place. there are some customary rites which are merely formal, and others which at the same time are also essential: among the latter are nuptials; and that they are to be reckoned among essentials, which are to be manifested in the customary way, and to be formally celebrated, is confirmed by the following reasons: . that nuptials constitute the end of the foregoing state, into which the parties were introduced by betrothing, which principally was a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the following state, into which they are to be introduced by marriage, which is a state of the spirit and body together; for the spirit then enters into the body, and there becomes active: wherefore on that day the parties put off the state and also the name of bridegroom and bride, and put on the state and name of married partners and consorts. . that nuptials are an introduction and entrance into a new state, which is that a maiden becomes a wife, and a young man a husband, and both one flesh; and this is effected while love by ultimates unites them. that marriage actually changes a maiden into a wife, and a young man into a husband, was proved in the former part of this work; also that marriage unites two into one human form, so that they are no longer two but one flesh. . that nuptials are the commencement of an entire separation of the love of the sex from conjugial love, which is effected while, by a full liberty of connection, the knot is tied by which the love of the one is devoted to the love of the other. . it appears as if nuptials were merely an interval between those two states, and thus that they are mere formalities which may be omitted: but still there is also in them this essential, that the new state above-mentioned is then to be entered upon from covenant, and that the consent of the parties is to be declared in the presence of witnesses, and also to be consecrated by a priest; besides other particulars which establish it. as nuptials contain in them essentials, and as marriage is not legitimate till after their celebration, therefore also nuptials are celebrated in the heavens; see above, n. , and also, n. - . . xi. previous to the celebration of the nuptials, the conjugial covenant is to be ratified in the presence of witnesses. it is expedient that the conjugial covenant be ratified before the nuptials are celebrated, in order that the statutes and laws of love truly conjugial may be known, and that they may be remembered after the nuptials; also that the minds of the parties may be bound to just marriage: for after some introductory circumstances of marriage, the state which preceded betrothing returns at times, in which state remembrance fails and forgetfulness of the ratified covenant ensues; yea, it may be altogether effaced by the allurements of the unchaste to criminality; and if it is then recalled into the memory, it is reviled: but to prevent these transgressions, society has taken upon itself the protection of that covenant, and has denounced penalties on the breakers of it. in a word, the ante-nuptial covenant manifests and establishes the sacred decrees of love truly conjugial, and binds libertines to the observance of them. moreover, by this covenant, the right of propagating children, and also the right of the children to inherit the goods of their parents, become legitimate. . xii. marriage is to be consecrated by a priest. the reason of this is, because marriages, considered in themselves, are spiritual, and thence holy; for they descend from the heavenly marriage of good and truth, and things conjugial correspond to the divine marriage of the lord and the church; and hence they are from the lord himself, and according to the state of the church with the contracting parties. now, as the ecclesiastical order on the earth administer the things which relate to the lord's priestly character, that is, to his love, and thus also those which relate to blessing, it is expedient that marriages be consecrated by his ministers; and as they are then the chief witnesses, it is expedient that the consent of the parties to the covenant be also heard, accepted, confirmed, and thereby established by them. . xiii. the nuptials are to be celbrated with festivity. the reasons are, because ante-nuptial love, which was that of the bridegroom and the bride, on this occasion descends into their hearts, and spreading itself thence in every direction into all parts of the body, the delights of marriage are made sensible, whereby the minds of the parties are led to festive thoughts and also let loose to festivities so far as is allowable and becoming; to favor which, it is expedient that the festivities of their minds be indulged in company, and they themselves be thereby introduced into the joys of conjugial love. . xiv. after the nuptials, the marriage of the spirit is made also the marriage of the body, and thereby a full marriage. all things which a man does in the body, flow in from his spirit; for it is well known that the mouth does not speak of itself, but that it is the thinking principle of the mind which speaks by it; also that the hands do not act and the feet walk of themselves, but that it is the will of the mind which performs those operations by them; consequently, that the mind speaks and acts by its organs in the body: hence it is evident, that such as the mind is, such are the speech of the mouth and the actions of the body. from these premises it follows as a conclusion that the mind, by a continual influx, arranges the body so that it may act similarly and simultaneously with itself; wherefore the bodies of men viewed interiorly are merely forms of their minds exteriorly organized to effect the purposes of the soul. these things are premised, in order that it may be perceived why the minds or spirits are first to be united as by marriage, before they are also further united in the body; namely, that while the marriages become of the body, they may also be marriages of the spirit; consequently, that married partners may mutually love each other from the spirit, and thence from the body. from this ground let us now take a view of marriage. when conjugial love unites the minds of two persons, and forms them into a marriage, in such case it also unites and forms their bodies into a marriage; for, as we have said, the form of the mind is also interiorly the form of the body; only with this difference, that the latter form is outwardly organized to effect that to which the interior form of the body is determined by the mind. but the mind formed from conjugial love is not only interiorly in the whole body, round about in every part, but moreover is interiorly in the organs appropriated to generation, which in their region are situated beneath the other regions of the body, and in which are terminated the forms of the mind with those who are united in conjugial love: consequently the affections and thoughts of their minds are determined thither; and the activities of such minds differ in this respect from the activities of minds arising from other loves, that the latter loves do not reach thither. the conclusion resulting from these considerations is, that such as conjugial love is in the minds or spirits of two persons, such is it interiorly in those its organs. but it is self-evident that a marriage of the spirit after the nuptials becomes also a marriage of the body, thus a full marriage, consequently, if a marriage in the spirit is chaste, and partakes of the sanctity of marriage, it is chaste also, and partakes of its sanctity, when it is in its fulness in the body; and the case is reversed if a marriage in the spirit is unchaste. . xv. such is the order of conjugial love with its modes from its first heat to its first torch. it is said from its first heat to its first torch, because vital heat is love, and conjugial heat or love successively increases, and at length as it were into a flame or torch. we have said "to its first torch," because we mean the first state after the nuptials, when that love burns; but what its quality becomes after this torch, in the marriage itself, has been described in the preceding chapters; but in this part we are explaining its order from the beginning of its career to this its first goal. that all order proceeds from first principles to last, and that the last become the first of some following order, also that all things of the middle order are the last of a prior and the first of a following order, and that thus ends proceed continually through causes into effects, may be sufficiently confirmed and illustrated to the eye of reason from what is known and visible in the world; but as at present we are treating only of the order in which love proceeds from its first starting-place to its goal, we shall pass by such confirmation and illustration, and only observe on this subject, that such as the order of this love is from its first heat to its first torch, such it is in general, and such is its influence in its progression afterwards; for in this progression it unfolds itself, according to the quality of its first heat: if this heat was chaste, its chasteness is strengthened as it proceeds; but if it was unchaste, its unchasteness increases as it advances, until it is deprived of all that chasteness which, from the time of betrothing, belonged to it from without, but not from within. . xvi. conjugial love precipitated without order and the modes thereof, burns up the marrows and is consumed. so it is said by some in the heavens; and by the marrows they mean the interiors of the mind and body. the reason why these are burnt up, that is, consumed, by precipitated conjugial love is, because that love in such case begins from a flame which eats up and corrupts those interiors, in which as in its principles conjugial love should reside, and from which it should commence. this comes to pass if the man and woman without regard to order precipitate marriage, and do not look to the lord, and consult their reason, but reject betrothing and comply merely with the flesh: from the ardor of which, if that love commences, it becomes external and not internal, thus not conjugial; and such love may be said to partake of the shell, not of the kernel; or may be called fleshly, lean, and dry, because emptied of its genuine essence. see more on this subject above n. . . xvii. the states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; nevertheless in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural. that the last state is such as that of the successive order from which it is formed and exists, is a rule, which from its truth must be acknowledged by the learned; for thereby we discover what influx is, and what it effects. by influx we mean all that which precedes, and constitutes what follows, and by things following in order constitutes what is last; as all that which precedes with a man, and constitutes his wisdom; or all that which precedes with a statesman, and constitutes his political skill; or all that which precedes with a theologian, and constitutes his erudition; in like manner all that which proceeds from infancy, and constitutes a man; also what proceeds in order from a seed and a twig, and makes a tree, and afterwards what proceeds from a blossom, and makes its fruit; in like manner all that which precedes and proceeds with a bridegroom and bride, and constitutes their marriage: this is the meaning of influx. that all those things which precede in minds form series, which collect together, one next to another, and one after another, and that these together compose a last or ultimate, is as yet unknown in the world; but as it is a truth from heaven, it is here adduced for it explains what influx effects, and what is the quality of the last or ultimate, in which the above-mentioned series successively formed co-exist. from these considerations it may be seen that the states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order flow into the state of marriage. but married partners after marriage are altogether ignorant of the successive things which are insinuated into, and exist in their minds (_animis_) from things antecedent; nevertheless it is those things which give form to conjugial love, and constitute the state of their minds; from which state they act the one with the other. the reason why one state is formed from one order with such as are spiritual, and from another with such as are natural, is, because the spiritual proceed in a just order, and the natural in an unjust order; for the spiritual look to the lord, and the lord provides and leads the order; whereas the natural look to themselves, and thence proceed in an inverted order; wherefore with the latter the state of marriage is inwardly full of unchasteness; and as that unchasteness abounds, so does cold; and as cold abounds so do the obstructions of the inmost life, whereby its vein is closed and its fountain dried. . xviii. there are successive and simultaneous order, and the latter is from the former and according to it. this is adduced as a reason tending to confirm what goes before. it is well known that there exist what is successive and what is simultaneous; but it is unknown that simultaneous order is grounded in successive, and is according to it; yet how things successive enter into things simultaneous, and what order they form therein, it is very difficult to present to the perception, since the learned are not in possession of any ideas that can elucidate the subject; and as the first idea respecting this arcanum cannot be suggested in few words, and to treat this subject at large would withdraw the mind from a more comprehensive view of the subject of conjugial love, it may suffice for illustration to quote what we have adduced in a compendium respecting those two orders, the successive and the simultaneous, and respecting the influx of the former into the latter, in the doctrine of the new jerusalem respecting the sacred scripture, where are these words: "there are in heaven and in the world successive order and simultaneous order. in successive order one thing follows after another from the highest to the lowest; but in simultaneous order one thing is next to another from the inmost to the outermost. successive order is like a column with steps from the highest to the lowest; but simultaneous order is like a work cohering from the centre to the surface. successive order becomes in the ultimate simultaneous in this manner; the highest things of successive order become the inmost of simultaneous, and the lowest things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous; comparatively as when a column of steps subsides, it becomes a body cohering in a plane. thus what is simultaneous is formed from what is successive; and this in all things both of the spiritual and of the natural world." see n. , , of that work; and several further observations on this subject in the angelic wisdom respecting the divine love and divine wisdom, n. - . the case is similar with successive order leading to marriage, and with simultaneous order in marriage; namely, that the latter is from the former, and according to it. he that is acquainted with the influx of successive order into simultaneous, may comprehend the reason why the angels can see in a man's hand all the thoughts and intentions of his mind, and also why wives, from their husbands' hands on their bosoms, are made sensible of their affections; which circumstance has been occasionally mentioned in the memorable relations. the reason of this is, because the hands are the ultimates of man, wherein the deliberations and conclusions of his mind terminate, and there constitute what is simultaneous: therefore also in the word, mention is made of a thing's being inscribed on the hands. * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations. first. on a certain time i saw not far from me a meteor--a cloud divided into smaller clouds, some of which were of an azure color, some opaque, and as it were in collision together. they were streaked with translucent irradiations of light, which at one time appeared sharp like the points of swords, at another, blunt like broken swords. the streaks sometimes darted out forwards, at others they drew themselves in again, exactly like combatants; thus those different colored lesser clouds appeared to be at war together; but it was only their manner of sporting with each other. and as this meteor appeared at no great distance from me, i raised my eyes, and looking attentively, i saw boys, youths, and old men, entering a house which was built of marble, on a foundation of porphyry; and it was over this house that the phenomenon appeared. then addressing myself to one that was entering, i asked, "what house is this?" he answered, "it is a gymnasium, where young persons are initiated into various things relating to wisdom." on hearing this, i went in with them, being then in the spirit, that is, in a similar state with men of the spiritual world, who are called spirits and angels; and lo! in the gymnasium there were in front a desk, in the middle, benches, at the sides round about, chairs, and over the entrance, an orchestra. the desk was for the young men that were to give answers to the problem at that time to be proposed, the benches were for the audience, the chairs at the sides were for those who on former occasions had given wise answers, and the orchestra was for the seniors, who were arbitrators and judges: in the middle of the orchestra was a pulpit, where there sat a wise man, whom they called the head master, who proposed the problems to which the young men gave their answers from the desk. when all were assembled, this man arose from the pulpit and said, "give an answer now to this problem, and solve it if you can, what is the soul, and what is its quality?" on hearing this problem all were amazed, and made a muttering noise; and some of the company on the benches exclaimed, "what mortal man, from the age of saturn to the present time, has been able by any rational thought to see and ascertain what the soul is, still less what is its quality? is not this subject above the sphere of all human understanding?" but it was replied from the orchestra, "it is not above the understanding, but within it and in its view; only let the problem be answered." then the young men, who were chosen on that day to ascend the desk, and give an answer to the problem, arose. they were five in number, who had been examined by the seniors, and found to excel in sagacity, and were then sitting on couches at the sides of the desk. they afterwards ascended in the order in which they were seated; and every one, when he ascended, put on a silken tunic of an opaline color, and over it a robe of soft wool interwoven with flowers, and on his head a cap, on the crown of which was a bunch of roses encircled with small sapphires. the first youth thus clad ascended the desk, and thus began: "what the soul is, and what is its quality, has never been revealed to any one since the day of creation, being an arcanum in the treasuries of god alone; but this has been discovered, that the soul resides in a man as a queen; yet where her palace is, has been a matter of conjecture among the learned. some have supposed it to be in a small tubercle between the cerebrum and the cerebellum, which is called the pineal gland: in this they have fixed the soul's habitation, because the whole man is ruled from those two brains, and they are regulated by that tubercle; therefore whatever regulates the brains, regulates also the whole man from the head to the heel." he also added, "hence this conjecture appeared as true or probable to many in the world; but in the succeeding age it was rejected as groundless." when he had thus spoken, he put off the robe, the tunic, and the cap, which the second of the selected speakers put on, and ascended the desk. his sentiments concerning the soul are as follows: "in the whole heaven and the whole world it is unknown what the soul is, and what is its quality; it is however known that there is a soul, and that it is in man; but in what part of him is a matter of conjecture. this is certain, that it is in the head, since the head is the seat where the understanding thinks, and the will intends; and in front in the face of the head are man's five sensories, receiving life from the soul alone which resides in the head; but in what particular part of the head the soul has its more immediate residence, i dare not take upon me to say; yet i agree with those who fix its abode in the three ventricles of the brain, sometimes inclining to the opinion of those who fix it in the _corpora striata_ therein, sometimes to theirs who fix it in the medullary substance of each brain, sometimes to theirs who fix it in the cortical substance, and sometimes to theirs who fix it in the _dura mater_; for arguments, and those too of weight, have not been wanting in the support of each of these opinions. the arguments in favor of the three ventricles of the brain have been, that those ventricles are the recipients of the animal spirits and of all the lymphs of the brain: the arguments in favor of the _corpora striata_ have been, that these bodies constitute the marrow, through which the nerves are emitted, and by which each brain is continued into the spine; and from the spine and the marrow there is an emanation of fibres serving for the contexture of the whole body: the arguments in favor of the medullary substance of each brain have been, that this substance is a collection and congeries of all the fibres, which are the rudiments or beginnings of the whole man: the arguments in favor of the cortical substance have been, that in that substance are contained the prime and ultimate ends, and consequently the principles of all the fibres, and thereby of all the senses and motions: the arguments in favor of the _dura mater_ have been, that it is the common covering of each brain, and hence by some kind of continuous principle extends itself over the heart and the viscera of the body. as to myself, i am undetermined which of these opinions is the most probable, and therefore i leave the matter to your determination and decision." having thus concluded he descended from the desk, and delivered the tunic, the robe, and the cap, to the third, who mounting into the desk began as follows: "how little qualified is a youth like myself for the investigation of so sublime a theorem! i appeal to the learned who are here seated at the sides of the gymnasium; i appeal to you wise ones in the orchestra; yea, i appeal to the angels of the highest heaven, whether any person, from his own rational light, is able to form any idea concerning the soul; nevertheless i, like others, can guess about the place of its abode in man; and my conjecture is, that it is in the heart and thence in the blood; and i ground my conjecture on this circumstance, that the heart by its blood rules both the body and the head; for it sends forth a large vessel called the _aorta_ into the whole body, and vessels called the carotids into the whole head; hence it is universally agreed, that the soul from the heart by means of the blood supports, nourishes, and vivifies the universal organical system both of the body and the head. as a further proof of this position it may be urged, that in the sacred scripture frequent mention is made of the soul and the heart; as where it is said, thou shalt love god from the whole soul and the whole heart; and that god creates in man a new soul and a new heart, deut. vi. ; chap. x. ; chap. xi. ; chap. xxvi. ; jerem. xxxii. ; matt, xxii. ; mark xii. , ; luke x. ; and in other places: it is also expressly said, that the blood is the soul of the flesh, levit. xvii. , ." at these words, the cry of "learned! learned!" was heard in the assembly, and was found to proceed from some of the canons. after this a fourth, clad in the garments of the former speaker, ascended the desk, and thus began: "i also am inclined to suspect that not a single person can be found of so subtle and refined a genius as to be able to discover what the soul is, and what is its quality; therefore i am of opinion, that in attempting to make the discovery, subtlety will be spent in fruitless labor; nevertheless from my childhood i have continued firm in the opinion of the ancients, that the soul of man is in the whole of him, and in every part of the whole, and thus that it is in the head and in all its parts, as well as in the body and in all its parts; and that it is an idle conceit of the moderns to fix its habitation in any particular part, and not in the body throughout; besides, the soul is a spiritual substance, of which there cannot be predicated either extension or place, but habitation and impletion; moreover, when mention is made of the soul, who does not conceive life to be meant? and is not life in the whole and in every part?" these sentiments were favorably received by a great part of the audience. after him the fifth rose, and, being adorned with the same insignia, thus delivered himself from the desk: "i will not waste your time and my own in determining the place of the soul's residence, whether it be in some particular part of the body, or in the whole; but from my mind's storehouse i will communicate to you my sentiments on the subject, what is the soul, and what is its quality? no one conceives of the soul but as of a pure somewhat, which may be likened to ether, or air, or wind, containing a vital principle, from the rationality which man enjoys above the beasts. this opinion i conceive to be founded on the circumstance, that when a man expires, he is said to breathe forth or emit his soul or spirit; hence also the soul which lives after death is believed to be such a breath or vapor animated by some principle of thinking life, which is called the soul; and what else can the soul be? but as i heard it declared from the orchestra, that this problem concerning the soul, its nature and quality, is not above the understanding, but is within it and in its view, i intreat and beseech you, who have made this declaration, to unfold this eternal arcanum yourselves." then the elders in the orchestra turned their eyes towards the head master, who had proposed the problem, and who understood by their signs that they wished him to descend and teach the audience: so he instantly quitted the pulpit, passed through the auditory, and entered the desk, and there, stretching out his hand, he thus began: "let me bespeak your attention: who does not believe the soul to be the inmost and most subtle essence of man? and what is an essence without a form, but an imaginary entity? wherefore the soul is a form, and a form whose qualities and properties i will now describe. it is a form of all things relating to love, and of all things relating to wisdom. all things relating to love are called affections, and those relating to wisdom are called perceptions. the latter derived from the former and thereby united with them constitute one form, in which are contained innumerable things in such an order, series, and coherence, that they may be called a one; and they may be called a one also for this reason, because nothing can be taken away from it, or added to it, but the quality of the form is changed. what is the human soul but such a form? are not all things relating to love and all things relating to wisdom essentials of that form? and are not these things appertaining to a man in his soul, and by derivation from the soul in his head and body? you are called spirits and angels; and in the world you believed that spirits and angels are like mere wind or ether, and thus mere mind and animation; and now you see clearly that you are truly, really, and actually men, who, during your abode in the world, lived and thought in a material body, and knew that a material body does not live and think, but a spiritual substance in that body; and this substance you called the soul, whose form you then were ignorant of, but now have seen and continue to see. you all are souls, of whose immortality you have heard, thought, said, and written so much; and because you are forms of love and wisdom from god, you can never die. the soul therefore is a human form, from which the smallest thing cannot be taken away, and to which the smallest thing cannot be added; and it is the inmost of all the forms of the whole body: and since the forms which are without receive from the inmost both essence and form, therefore you are souls, as you appear to yourselves and to us: in a word, the soul is the very man himself, because it is the inmost man; therefore its form is fully and perfectly the human form: nevertheless it is not life, but the proximate receptacle of life from god, and thereby the habitation of god." when he had thus spoken, many expressed their approbation; but some said, "we will weigh the matter." i immediately went home, and lo! over the gymnasium, instead of the foregoing meteor, there appeared a bright cloud, without streaks or rays that seemed to combat with each other, and which, penetrating through the roof, entered, and illuminated the walls; and i was informed, that they saw some pieces of writing, and among others this, "_jehovah god breathed into the man's nostrils the soul of lives, and the man became a living soul_," gen. ii. . . the second memorable relation. some time ago, as i was walking with my mind (_animus_) at rest, and in a state of delightful mental peace, i saw at a distance a grove, in the midst of which was an avenue leading to a small palace, into which maidens and youths, husbands and wives were entering. i also went thither in spirit, and asked the keeper who was standing at the entrance, whether i also might enter? he looked at me; upon which i said, "why do you look at me?" he replied, "i look at you that i may see whether the delight of peace, which appears in your face, partakes at all of the delight of conjugial love. beyond this avenue there is a little garden, and in the midst of it a house, where there are two novitiate conjugial partners, who to-day are visited by their friends of both sexes, coming to pay their congratulations. i do not know those whom i admit; but i was told that i should know them by their faces: those in whom i saw the delights of conjugial love, i was to admit, and none else." all the angels can see from the faces of others the delights of their hearts; and he saw the delight of that love in my face, because i was then meditating on conjugial love. this meditation beamed forth from my eyes, and thence entered into the interiors of my face: he therefore told me that i might enter. the avenue through which i entered was formed of fruit trees connected together by their branches, which made on each side a continued espalier. through the avenue i entered the little garden, which breathed a pleasant fragrance from its shrubs and flowers. the shrubs and flowers were in pairs; and i was informed that such little gardens appear about the houses where there are and have been nuptials, and hence they are called nuptial gardens. i afterwards entered the house, where i saw the two conjugial partners holding each other by the hands, and conversing together from love truly conjugial; and as i looked, it was given me to see from their faces the image of conjugial love, and from their conversation the vital principle thereof. after i, with the rest of the company, had paid them my respects, and wished them all happiness, i went into the nuptial garden, and saw on the right side of it a company of youths, to whom all who came out of the house resorted. the reason of their resorting to them was, because they were conversing respecting conjugial love, and conversation on this subject attracts to it the minds (_animos_) of all by a certain occult power. i then listened to a wise one who was speaking on the subject; and the sum of what i heard is as follows: that the divine providence of the lord is most particular and thence most universal in respect to marriages in the heavens: because all the felicities of heaven issue from the delights of conjugial love, like sweet waters from the sweet source of a fountain; and that on this account it is provided by the lord that conjugial pairs be born, and that these pairs be continually educated for marriage, neither the maiden nor the youth knowing anything of the matter; and after a stated time, when they both become marriageable, they meet as by chance, and see each other; and that in this case they instantly know, as by a kind of instinct, that they are pairs, and by a kind of inward dictate think within themselves, the youth, that she is mine, and the maiden, that he is mine; and when this thought has existed for some time in the mind of each, they deliberately accost each other, and betroth themselves. it is said, "as by chance," and "as by instinct," and the meaning is, by the divine providence; since, while the divine providence is unknown, it has such an appearance. that conjugial pairs are born and educated to marriage, while each party is ignorant of it, he proved by the conjugial likeness visible in the faces of each; also by the intimate and eternal union of minds (_animorum_) and minds (_mentium_), which could not possibly exist, as it does in heaven, without being foreseen and provided by the lord. when the wise one had proceeded thus far with his discourse, and had received the applauses of the company, he further added, that in the minutest things with man, both male and female, there is a conjugial principle; but still the conjugial principle with the male is different from what it is with the female; also that in the male conjugial principle there is what is conjunctive with the female conjugial principle, and _vice versa_, even in the minutest things. this he confirmed by the marriage of the will and the understanding in every individual, which two principles act together upon the minutest things of the mind and of the body; from which considerations it may be seen, that in every substance, even the smallest, there is a conjugial principle; and that this is evident from the compound substances which are made up of simple substances; as that there are two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, two cheeks, two lips, two arms with hands, two loins, two feet, and within in man two hemispheres of the brain, two ventricles of the heart, two lobes of the lungs, two kidneys, two testicles; and where there are not two, still they are divided into two. the reason why there are two is, because the one is of the will and the other of the understanding, which act wonderfully in each other to present a one; wherefore the two eyes make one sight, the two ears one hearing, the two nostrils one smell, the two lips one speech, the two hands one labor, the two feet one pace, the two hemispheres of the brain one habitation of the mind, the two chambers of the heart one life of the body by the blood, the two lobes of the lungs one respiration, and so forth; but the male and female principles, united by love truly conjugial, constitute one life fully human. while he was saying these things, there appeared red lightning on the right, and white lightning on the left; each was mild, and they entered through the eyes into the mind, and also enlightened it. after the lightning it also thundered; which was a gentle murmur from the angelic heaven flowing down and increasing. on hearing and seeing these things, the wise one said, "these are to remind me to add the following observations: that of the above pairs, the right one signifies their good, and the left their truth; and that this is from the marriage of good and truth, which is inscribed on man in general and in every one of his principles; and good has reference to the will, and truth to the understanding, and both together to a one. hence, in heaven the right eye is the good of vision, and the left the truth thereof; also the right ear is the good of hearing, and the left the truth thereof; and likewise the right hand is the good of a man's ability, and the left the truth thereof; and in like manner in the rest of the above pairs; and since the right and left have such significations, therefore the lord said, 'if thy right eye scandalize thee, pluck it out; and if thy right hand scandalize thee, cut it off;' whereby he meant, if good becomes evil, the evil must be cast out. this is the reason also why he said to his disciples that they should cast the net on the right side of the ship; and that when they did so, they took a great multitude of fishes; whereby he meant that they should teach the good of charity, and that thus they would collect men." when he had said these things, the two lightnings again appeared, but milder than before; and then it was seen, that the lightning on the left derived its whiteness from the red-shining fire of the lightning on the right; on seeing which he said, "this is a sign from heaven tending to confirm what i have said; because what is firy in heaven is good, and what is white in heaven is truth; and its being seen that the lightning on the left derived its whiteness from the red-shining fire of the lightning on the right, is a demonstrative sign that the whiteness of light, or light, is merely the splendor of fire." on hearing this all went home, inflamed with the good and truth of gladness, in consequence of the above lightnings, and of the conversation respecting them. * * * * * on repeated marriages. . it may come to be a matter of question, whether conjugial love, which is that of one man with one wife, after the death of one of the parties, can be separated, or transferred, or superinduced; also whether repeated marriages have any thing in common with polygamy, and thereby whether they may be called successive polygamies; with several other inquiries which often add scruples to scruples with men of a reasoning spirit. in order therefore that those who are curious in such researches, and who only grope in the shade respecting these marriages, may see some light, i have conceived it would be worth while to present for their consideration the following articles on the subject: i. _after the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends on the preceding conjugial love._ ii. _it depends also on the state of marriage, in which the parties had lived._ iii. _with those who have not been in love truly conjugial there is no obstacle or hindrance to their again contracting wedlock._ iv. _those who had lived together in love truly conjugial are unwilling to marry again, except for reasons separate from conjugial love._ v. _the state of the marriage of a youth with a maiden differs from that of a youth with a widow._ vi. _the state of the marriage of a widower with a maiden differs also from that of a widower with a widow._ vii. _the varieties and diversities of these marriages as to love and its attributes are innumerable._ viii. _the state of a widow is more grievous than that of a widower._ we proceed to the explanation of each article. . i. after the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends on the preceding conjugial love. love truly conjugial is like a balance, in which the inclinations for repeated marriages are weighed: so far as the preceding conjugial love had been genuine, so far the inclination for another marriage is weak; but so far as the preceding love had not been genuine, so far the inclination to another marriage is usually strong. the reason of this is obvious; because conjugial love is in a similar degree a conjunction of minds, which remains in the life of the body of the one party after the decease of the other; and this holds the inclination as a scale in a balance, and causes a preponderance according to the appropriation of true love. but since the approach to this love is seldom made at this day except for a few paces, therefore the scale of the preponderance of the inclination generally rises to a state of equilibrium, and from thence inclines and tends to the other side, that is, to marriage. the contrary is the case with those, whose preceding-love in the former marriage has not been truly conjugial, because in proportion as that love is not genuine, there is in a like degree a disjunction of minds, which also remains in the life of the body of the one party after the decease of the other; and this enters the will disjoined from that of the other, and causes an inclination for a new connection; in favor of which the thought arising from the inclination of the will induces the hope of a more united, and thereby a more delightful connection. that inclinations to repeated marriages arise from the state of the preceding love, is well known, and is also obvious to reason: for love truly conjugial is influenced by a fear of loss, and loss is followed by grief; and this grief and fear reside in the very inmost principles of the mind. hence, so far as that love prevails, so far the soul inclines both in will and in thought, that is, in intention, to be in the subject with and in which it was: from these considerations it follows, that the mind is kept balancing towards another marriage according to the degree of love in which it was in the former marriage. hence it is that after death the same parties are re-united, and mutually love each other as they did in the world: but as we said above, such love at this day is rare, and there are few who make the slightest approach to it; and those who do not approach it, and still more those who keep at a distance from it, as they were desirous of separation in the matrimonial life heretofore passed, so after death they are desirous of being united to another. but respecting both these sorts of persons more will be said in what follows. . ii. after the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlook, depends also on the state of marriage in which the parties had lived. by the state of marriage here we do not mean the state of love treated of in the foregoing article, because the latter causes an internal inclination to marriage or from it; but we mean the state of marriage which causes an external inclination to it or from it; and this state with its inclinations is manifold: as, . if there are children in the house, and a new mother is to be provided for them. . if there is a wish for a further increase of children. . if the house is large and full of servants of both sexes. . if the calls of business abroad divert the mind from domestic concerns, and without a new mistress there is reason to fear misery and misfortune. . if mutual aids and offices require that married partners be engaged in various occupations and employments. . moreover it depends on the temper and disposition of the separated partner, whether after the first marriage the other partner can or cannot live alone, or without a consort. . the preceding marriage also disposes the mind either to be afraid of married life, or in favor of it. . i have been informed that polygamical love and the love of the sex, also the lust of deflowering and the lust of variety, have induced the minds (_animos_) of some to desire repeated marriages; and that the minds of some have also been induced thereto by a fear of the law and of the loss of reputation, in case they commit whoredom: besides several other circumstances which promote external inclinations to matrimony. . iii. with those who have not been in love truly conjugial, there is no obstacle or hindrance to their again contracting wedlock. with those who have not been principled in conjugial love, there is no spiritual or internal, but only a natural or external bond; and if an internal bond does not keep the external in its order and tenor, the latter is but like a bundle when the bandage is removed, which flows every way according as it is tossed or driven by the wind. the reason of this is, because what is natural derives its origin from what is spiritual, and in its existence is merely a mass collected from spiritual principles; wherefore if the natural be separated from the spiritual, which produced and as it were begot it, it is no longer kept together interiorly, but only exteriorly by the spiritual, which encompasses and binds it in general, and does not tie it and keep it tied together in particular. hence it is, that the natural principle separated from the spiritual, in the case of two married partners, does not cause any conjunction of minds, and consequently of wills, but only a conjunction of some external affections, which are connected with the bodily senses. the reason why nothing opposes and hinders such persons from again contracting wedlock, is, because they have not been the essentials of marriage; and hence those essentials do not at all influence them after separation by death: therefore they are then absolutely at their own disposal, whether they be widowers or widows, to bind their sensual affections with whomsoever they please, provided there be no legal impediment. neither do they themselves think of marriages in any other than a natural view, and from a regard to convenience in supplying various necessities and external advantages, which after the death of one of the parties may again be supplied by another; and possibly, if their interior thoughts were viewed, as in the spiritual world, there would not be found in them any distinction between conjugial unions and extra-conjugial connections. the reason why it is allowable for these to contract repeated marriages, is, as above-mentioned, because merely natural connections are after death of themselves dissolved and fall asunder; for by death the external affections follow the body, and are entombed with it; those only remaining which are connected with internal principles. but it is to be observed, that marriages interiorly conjunctive can scarcely be entered into in the world, because elections of internal likenesses cannot there be provided by the lord as in the heavens; for they are limited in many ways, as to equals in rank and condition, within the country, city, and village where they live; and in the world for the most part married partners are held together merely by externals, and thus not by internals, which internals do not shew themselves till some time after marriage, and are only known when they influence the externals. . iv. those who had lived together in love truly conjugial are unwilling to marry again, except for reasons separate from conjugial love. the reasons why those who had lived in love truly conjugial, after the death of their married partners are unwilling to marry again, are as follow. . because they were united as to their souls, and thence as to their minds; and this union, being spiritual, is an actual junction of the soul and mind of one of the parties to those of the other, which cannot possibly be dissolved; that such is the nature of spiritual conjunction, has been constantly shewn above. . because they were also united as to their bodies by the receptions of the propagation of the soul of the husband by the wife, and thus by the insertion of his life into hers, whereby a maiden becomes a wife; and on the other hand by the reception of the conjugial love of the wife by the husband, which disposes the interiors of his mind, and at the same time the interiors and exteriors of his body, into a state receptible of love and perceptible of wisdom, which makes him from a youth become a husband; see above, n. . . because a sphere of love from the wife, and a sphere of understanding from the man, is continually flowing forth, and because it perfects conjunctions, and encompasses them with its pleasant influence, and unites them; see also above, n. . . because married partners thus united think of, and desire what is eternal, and because on this idea their eternal happiness is founded; see n. . . from these several considerations it is, that they are no longer two, but one man, that is, one flesh. . that such a union cannot be destroyed by the death of one of the parties, is manifest to the sight of a spirit. . to the above considerations shall be added this new information, that two such conjugial partners, after the death of one, are still not separated; since the spirit of the deceased dwells continually with that of the survivor, and this even to the death of the latter, when they again meet and are reunited, and love each other more tenderly than before, because they are then in the spiritual world. hence flows this undeniable consequence, that those who had lived in love truly conjugial, are unwilling to marry again. but if they afterwards contract something like marriage, it is for reasons separate from conjugial love, which are all external; as in case there are young children in the house, and the care of them requires attention; if the house is large and full of servants of both sexes; if the calls of business abroad divert the mind from domestic concerns; if mutual aids and offices are necessary; with other cases of a like nature. . v. the state of the marriage of a youth with a maiden differs from that of a youth with a widow. by states of marriage we mean the states of the life of each party, the husband and the wife, after the nuptials, thus in the marriage, as to the quality of the intercourse at that time, whether it be internal, that is of souls and minds, which is intercourse in the principle idea, or whether it be only external, that is of minds (_animorum_), of the senses, and of the body. the state of marriage of a youth with a maiden is essentially itself initiatory to genuine marriage; for between these conjugial love can proceed in its just order, which is from its first heat to its first torch, and afterwards from its first seed with the youth-husband, and from its first flower with the maiden-wife, and thus generate, grow, and fructify, and introduce itself into those successive states with both parties mutually; but if otherwise, the youth or the maiden was not really such, but only in external form. but between a youth and a widow there is not such an initiation to marriage from first principles, nor a like progression in marriage, since a widow is more at her own disposal, and under her own jurisdiction, than a maiden; wherefore a youth addresses himself differently to his wife if she were a widow, from what he does if she were a maiden. but herein there is much variety and diversity; therefore the subject is here mentioned only in a general way. . vi. the state of the marriage of a widower with a maiden differs also from that of a widower with a widow. for a widower has already been initiated into married life which a maiden has to be; and yet conjugial love perceives and is sensible of its pleasantness and delight in mutual initiation; a youth-husband and a maiden-wife perceive and are sensible of things ever new in whatever occurs, whereby they are in a kind of continual initiation and consequent amiable progression. the case is otherwise in the state of the marriage of a widower with a maiden: the maiden-wife has an internal inclination, whereas with the man that inclination has passed away; but herein there is much variety and diversity: the case is similar in a marriage between a widower and a widow; however, except this general notion, it is not allowable to add anything specifically. . vii. the varieties and diversities of these marriages as to love and its attributes are innumerable. there is an infinite variety of all things, and also an infinite diversity. by varieties we here mean the varieties between those things which are of one genus or species, also between the genera and species; but by diversities we here mean the diversities between those things which are opposite. our idea of the distinction of varieties and diversities may be illustrated as follows: the angelic heaven, which is connected as a one, in an infinite variety, no one there being absolutely like another, either as to souls and minds, or as to affections, perceptions, and consequent thoughts, or as to inclinations and consequent intentions, or as to tone of voice, face, body, gesture, and gait, and several other particulars, and yet, notwithstanding there are myriads of myriads, they have been and are arranged by the lord into one form, in which there is full unanimity and concord; and this could not possibly be, unless they were all, with their innumerable varieties, universally and individually under the guidance of one: these are what we here mean by varieties. but by diversities we mean the opposites of those varieties, which exist in hell; for the inhabitants there are diametrically opposite to those in heaven; and hell, which consists of such, is kept together as a one by varieties in themselves altogether contrary to the varieties in heaven, thus by perpetual diversities. from these considerations it is evident what is perceived by infinite variety and infinite diversity. the case is the same in marriages, namely, that there are infinite varieties with those who are in conjugial love, and infinite varieties with those who are in adulterous love; and hence, that there are infinite diversities between the latter and the former. from these premises it follows, that the varieties and diversities in marriages of every genus and species, whether of a youth with a maiden, or of a youth with a widow, or of a widower with a maiden, or of a widower with a widow exceed all number: who can divide infinity into numbers? . viii. the state of a widow is more grievous than that of a widower. the reasons for this are both external and internal; the external are such as all can comprehend; as: . that a widow cannot provide for herself and her family the necessaries of life, nor dispose of them when acquired, as a man can and as she previously did by and with her husband. . that neither can she defend herself and her family as is expedient; for, while she was a wife, her husband was her defence, and as it were her arm; and while she herself was her own (defence and arm), she still trusted to her husband. . that of herself she is deficient of counsel in such things as relate to interior wisdom and the prudence thence derived. . that a widow is without the reception of love, in which as a woman she is principled; thus she is in a state contrary to that which was innate and induced by marriage. these external reasons, which are natural, have their origin from internal reasons also, which are spiritual, like all other things in the world and in the body; respecting which see above, n. . those external natural reasons are perceived from the internal spiritual reasons which proceed from the marriage of good and truth, and principally from the following: that good cannot provide or arrange anything but by truth; that neither can good defend itself but by truth; consequently that truth is the defence and as it were the arm of good; that good without truth is deficient of counsel, because it has counsel, wisdom, and prudence by means of truth. now since by creation the husband is truth, and the wife the good thereof; or, what is the same thing, since by creation the husband is understanding, and the wife the love thereof, it is evident that the external or natural reasons, which aggravate the widowhood of a woman, have their origin from internal or spiritual reasons. these spiritual reasons, together with natural, are meant by what is said of widows in several passages in the word; as may be seen in the apocalypse revealed, n. . * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations. first. after the problem concerning the soul had been discussed and solved in the gymnasium, i saw them coming out in order: first came the chief teacher, then the elders, in the midst of whom were the five youths who had given the answers, and after these the rest. when they were come out they went apart to the environs of the house, where there were piazzas surrounded by shrubs; and being assembled, they divided themselves into small companies, which were so many groups of youths conversing together on subjects of wisdom, in each of which was one of the wise persons from the orchestra. as i saw these from my apartment, i became in the spirit, and in that state i went out to them, and approached the chief teacher, who had lately proposed the problem concerning the soul. on seeing me, he said. "who are you? i was surprised as i saw you approaching in the way, that at one instant you came into my sight, and the next instant went out of it; or that at one time i saw you, and suddenly i did not see you: assuredly you are not in the same state of life that we are." to this i replied, smiling, "i am neither a player nor a _vertumnus_; but i am alternate, at one time in your light, and at another in your shade; thus both a foreigner and a native." hereupon the chief teacher looked at me, and said, "you speak things strange and wonderful: tell me who you are." i said, "i am in the world in which you have been, and from which you have departed, and which is called the natural world; and i am also in the world into which you have come, and in which you are, which is called the spiritual world. hence i am in a natural state, and at the same time in a spiritual state; in a natural state with men of the earth and in a spiritual state with you; and when i am in the natural state, you do not see me, but when i am in the spiritual state, you do; that such should be my condition, has been granted me by the lord. it is known to you, illustrious sir, that a man of the natural world does not see a man of the spiritual world, nor _vice versa_; therefore when i let my spirit into the body, you did not see me; but when i let it out of the body, you did see me. you have been teaching in the gymnasium, that you are souls, and that souls see souls, because they are human forms; and you know, that when you were in the natural world, you did not see yourself or your souls in your bodies; and this is a consequence of the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural." when he heard of the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural, he said, "what do you mean by that difference? is it not like the difference between what is more or less pure? for what is spiritual but that which is natural in a higher state of purity?" i replied, "the difference is of another kind; it is like that between prior and posterior, which bear no determinate proportion to each other: for the prior is in the posterior as the cause is in the effect; and the posterior is derived from the prior as the effect from its cause: hence, the one does not appear to the other." to this the chief teacher replied, "i have meditated and ruminated upon this difference, but heretofore in vain; i wish i could perceive it." i said, "you shall not only perceive the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural, but shall also see it." i then proceeded as follows: "you yourself are in a spiritual state with your associate spirits, but in a natural state with me; for you converse with your associates in the spiritual language, which is common to every spirit and angel, but with me in my mother tongue; for every spirit and angel, when conversing with a man, speaks his peculiar language; thus french with a frenchman, english with an englishman, greek with a greek, arabic with an arabian, and so forth. that you may know therefore the difference between what is spiritual and what is natural in respect to languages, make this experiment; withdraw to your associates, and say something there: then retain the expressions, and return with them in your memory, and utter them before me." he did so, and returned to me with those expressions in his mouth, and uttered them; and they were altogether strange and foreign, such as do not occur in any language of the natural world. by this experiment several times repeated, it was made very evident that all the spiritual world have the spiritual language, which has in it nothing that is common to any natural language, and that every man comes of himself into the use of that language after his decease. at the same time also he experienced, that the sound of the spiritual language differs so far from the sound of natural language, that a spiritual sound, though loud, could not at all be heard by a natural man, nor a natural sound by a spirit. afterwards i requested the chief teacher and the bystanders to withdraw to their associates, and write some sentence or other on a piece of paper, and then return with it to me, and read it. they did so, and returned with the paper in their hand; but when they read it, they could not understand any part of it, as the writing consisted only of some letters of the alphabet, with turns over them, each of which was significative of some particular sense and meaning: because each letter of the alphabet is thus significative, it is evident why the lord is called alpha and omega. on their repeatedly withdrawing, and writing in the same manner, and returning to me, they found that their writing involved and comprehended innumerable things which no natural writing could possibly express; and they were given to understand, that this was in consequence of the spiritual man's thoughts being incomprehensible and ineffable to the natural man, and such as cannot flow and be brought into any other writing or language. then as some present were unwilling to comprehend that spiritual thought so far exceeds natural thought, as to be respectively ineffable, i said to them, "make the experiment; withdraw into your spiritual society, and think on some subject, and retain your thoughts, and return, and express them before me." they did so; but when they wanted to express the subject thought of, they were unable; for they did not find any idea of natural thought adequate to any idea of spiritual thought, consequently no words expressive of it; for ideas of thought are constituent of the words of language. this experiment they repeated again and again; whereby they were convinced that spiritual ideas are supernatural, inexpressible, ineffable, and incomprehensible to the natural man; and on account of this their super-eminence, they said, that spiritual ideas, or thoughts, as compared with natural, were ideas of ideas, and thoughts of thoughts; and that therefore they were expressive of qualities of qualities, and affections of affections; consequently that spiritual thoughts were the beginnings and origins of natural thoughts: hence also it was made evident that spiritual wisdom was the wisdom of wisdom, consequently that it was imperceptible to any wise man in the natural world. it was then told them from the third heaven, that there is a wisdom still interior and superior, which is called celestial, bearing a proportion to spiritual wisdom like that which spiritual wisdom bears to natural, and that these descend by an orderly influx according to the heavens from the divine wisdom of the lord, which is infinite. . after this i said to the by-standers, "you have seen from these three experimental proofs what is the difference between spiritual and natural, and also the reason why the natural man does not appear to the spiritual, nor the spiritual to the natural, although they are consociated as to affections and thoughts, and thence as to presence. hence it is that, as i approached, at one time you, sir, (addressing the chief teacher), saw me, and at another you did not." after this, a voice was heard from the superior heaven to the chief teacher, saying, "come up hither;" and he went up: and on his return, he said, that the angels, as well as himself, did not before know the differences between spiritual and natural, because there had never before been an opportunity of comparing them together, by any person's existing at the same time in both worlds; and without such comparison and reference those differences were not ascertainable. . after this we retired, and conversing again on this subject, i said, "those differences originate solely in this circumstance of your existence in the spiritual world, that you are in substantials and not in materials: and substantials are the beginning of materials. you are in principles and thereby in singulars; but we are in principiates and composites; you are in particulars, but we are in generals; and as generals cannot enter into particulars, so neither can natural things, which are material, enter into spiritual things which are substantial, any more than a ship's cable can enter into, or be drawn though, the eye of a fine needle; or than a nerve can enter or be let into one of the fibres of which it is composed, or a fibre into one of the fibrils of which it is composed: this also is known in the world: therefore herein the learned are agreed, that there is no such thing as an influx of what is natural into what is spiritual, but of what is spiritual into what is natural. this now is the reason why the natural man cannot conceive that which the spiritual man conceives, nor consequently express such conceptions; wherefore paul calls what he heard from the third heaven ineffable. moreover, to think spiritually is to think abstractedly from space and time, and to think naturally is to think in conjunction with space and time; for in every idea of natural thought there is something derived from space and time, which is not the case with any spiritual idea; because the spiritual world is not in space and time, like the natural world, but in the appearances of space and time. in this respect also spiritual thoughts and perceptions differ from natural; therefore you can think of the essence and omnipresence of god from eternity, that is, of god before the creation of the world, since you think of the essence of god from eternity abstracted from time, and of his omnipresence abstracted from space, and thus comprehend such things as transcend the ideas of the natural man." i then related to them, how i once thought of the essence and omnipresence of god from eternity, that is of god before the creation of the world; and that because i could not yet remove spaces and times from the ideas of my thought, i was brought into anxiety; for the idea of nature entered instead of god: but it was said to me, "remove the ideas of space and time, and you will see." i did so and then i saw; and from that time i was enabled to think of god from eternity, and not of nature from eternity; because god is in all time without time, and in all space without space, whereas nature in all time is in time, and in all space in space; and nature with her time and space, must of necessity have a beginning and a birth, but not god who is without time, and space; therefore nature is from god, not from eternity, but in time, that is, together with her time and space. . after the chief teacher and the rest of the assembly had left me, some boys who were also engaged in the gymnasian exercise, followed me home, and stood near me for a little while as i was writing: and lo! at that instant they saw a moth running upon my paper, and asked in surprise what was the name of that nimble little creature? i said, "it is called a moth; and i will tell you some wonderful things respecting it. this little animal contains in itself as many members and viscera as there are in a camel, such as brains, hearts, pulmonary pipes, organs of sense, motion, and generation, a stomach, intestines, and several others; and each of these organs consists of fibres, nerves, blood-vessels, muscles, tendons, membranes; and each of these of still purer parts, which escape the observation of the keenest eye." they then said that this little animal appeared to them just like a simple substance; upon which i said, "there are nevertheless innumerable things within it. i mention these things that you may know, that the case is similar in regard to every object which appears before you as one, simple and least, as well in your actions as in your affections and thoughts. i can assure you that every grain of thought, that every drop of your affection, is divisible _ad infinitum_: and that in proportion as your ideas are divisible, so you are wise. know then, that every thing divided is more and more multiple, and not more and more simple; because what is continually divided approaches nearer and nearer to the infinite, in which all things are infinitely. what i am now observing to you is new and heretofore unheard of." when i concluded, the boys took their leave of me, and went to the chief teacher, and intreated him to take an opportunity to propose in the gymnasium somewhat new and unheard of as a problem. he inquired, "what?" they said, "that every thing divided is more and more multiple, and not more and more simple; because it approaches nearer and nearer to the infinite, in which all things are infinitely:" and he pledged himself to propose it, and said, "i see this, because i have perceived that one natural idea contains innumerable spiritual ideas; yea, that one spiritual idea contains innumerable celestial ideas. herein is grounded the difference between the celestial wisdom of the angels of the third heaven, and the spiritual wisdom of the angels of the second heaven, and also the natural wisdom of the angels of the last heaven and likewise of men." . the second memorable relation. i once heard a pleasant discussion between some men respecting the female sex, whether it be possible for a woman to love her husband, who constantly loves her own beauty, that is, who loves herself from her form. they agreed among themselves first, that women have two-fold beauty; one natural, which is that of the face and body, and the other spiritual which is that of the love and manners; they agreed also, that these two kinds of beauty are often divided in the natural world, and are always united in the spiritual world; for in the latter world beauty is the form of the love and manners; therefore after death it frequently happens that deformed women become beauties, and beautiful women become deformities. while the men were discussing this point, there came some wives, and said, "admit of our presence; because what you are discussing, you have learned by science, but we are taught it by experience; and you likewise know so little of the love of wives, that it scarcely amounts to any knowledge. do you know that the prudence of the wives' wisdom consists in hiding their love from their husbands in the inmost recess of their bosoms, or in the midst of their hearts?" the discussion then proceeded; and the first conclusion made by the men was, that every woman is willing to appear beautiful as to face and manners, because she is born an affection of love, and the form of this affection is beauty; therefore a woman that is not desirous to be beautiful, is not desirous to love and to be loved, and consequently is not truly a woman. hereupon the wives observed, "the beauty of a woman resides in soft tenderness, and consequently in exquisite sensibility; hence comes the woman's love for the man, and the man's for the woman. this possibly you do not understand." the second conclusion of the men was, that a woman before marriage is desirous to be beautiful for the men, but after marriage, if she be chaste, for one man only, and not for the men. hereupon the wives observed. "when the husband has sipped the natural beauty of the wife, he sees it no longer, but sees her spiritual beauty; and from this he re-loves, and recalls the natural beauty, but under another aspect." the third conclusion of their discussion was, that if a woman after marriage is desirous to appear beautiful in like manner as before marriage, she loves the men, and not a man: because a woman loving herself from her beauty is continually desirous that her beauty should be sipped; and as this no longer appears to her husband, as you observed, she is desirous that it may be sipped by the men to whom it appears. it is evident that such a one has a love of the sex, and not a love of one of the sex. hereupon the wives were silent; yet they murmured, "what woman is so void of vanity, as not to desire to seem beautiful to the men also, at the same time that she seems beautiful to one man only?" these things were heard by some wives from heaven, who were beautiful, because they were heavenly affections. they confirmed the conclusions of the men; but they added, "let them only love their beauty and its ornaments for the sake of their husbands, and from them." . those three wives being indignant that the three conclusions of the men were confirmed by the wives from heaven, said to the men, "you have inquired whether a woman that loves herself from her beauty, loves her husband; we in our turn will therefore inquire whether a man who loves himself from his intelligence, can love his wife. be present and hear." this was their first conclusion; no wife loves her husband on account of his face, but on account of his intelligence in his business and manners: know therefore, that a wife unites herself with a man's intelligence and thereby with the man: therefore if a man loves himself on account of his intelligence, he withdraws it from the wife into himself, whence comes disunion and not union: moreover to love his own intelligence is to be wise from himself, and this is to be insane; therefore it is to love his own insanity. hereupon the men observed, "possibly the wife unites herself with the man's strength or ability." at this the wives smiled, saying, "there is no deficiency of ability while the man loves the wife from intelligence; but there is if he loves her from insanity. intelligence consists in loving the wife only: and in this love there is no deficiency of ability; but insanity consists in not loving the wife but the sex, and in this love there is a deficiency of ability. you comprehend this." the second conclusion was; we women are born into the love of the men's intelligence; therefore if the men love their own intelligence, it cannot be united with its genuine love, which belongs to the wife; and if the man's intelligence is not united with its genuine love, which belongs to the wife, it becomes insanity grounded in haughtiness, and conjugial love becomes cold. what woman in such case can unite her love to what is cold; and what man can unite the insanity of his haughtiness to the love of intelligence? but the men said, "whence has a man honor from his wife but by her magnifying his intelligence?" the wives replied, "from love, because love honors; and honor cannot be separated from love, but love maybe from honor." afterwards they came to this third conclusion; you seemed as if you loved your wives; and you do not see that you are loved by them, and thus that you re-love; and that your intelligence is a receptacle: if therefore you love your intelligence in yourselves, it becomes the receptacle of your love; and the love of _proprium_ (or self-hood), since it cannot endure an equal, never becomes conjugial love; but so long as it prevails, so long it remains adulterous. hereupon the men were silent; nevertheless they murmured, "what is conjugial love?" some husbands in heaven heard what passed, and confirmed thence the three conclusions of the wives. * * * * * on polygamy. . the reason why polygamical marriages are absolutely condemned by the christian world cannot be clearly seen by any one, whatever powers of acute and ingenious investigation he may possess, unless he be previously instructed, that there exists a love truly conjugial; that this love can only exist between two; nor between two, except from the lord alone; and that into this love is inserted heaven with all its felicities. unless these knowledges precede, and as it were lay the first stone, it is in vain for the mind to desire to draw from the understanding any reasons for the condemnation of polygamy by the christian world, which should be satisfactory, and on which it may firmly stand, as a house upon its stone or foundation. it is well known, that the institution of monogamical marriage is founded on the word of the lord, "_that whosoever putteth away his wife, except on account of whoredom, and marrieth another, committeth adultery; and that from the beginning, or from the first establishment of marriages, it was (ordained), that two should become one flesh; and that man should not separate what god hath joined together_," matt. xix. - . but although the lord spake these words from the divine law inscribed on marriages, still if the understanding cannot support that law by some reason of its own, it may so warp it by the turnings and windings to which it is accustomed, and by sinister interpretations, as to render its principle obscure and ambiguous, and at length affirmative negative;--affirmative, because it is also grounded in the civil law; and negative, because it is not grounded in a rational view of those words. into this principle the human mind will fall, unless it be previously instructed respecting the above-mentioned knowledges, which may be serviceable to the understanding as introductory to its reasons: these knowledges are, that there exists a love truly conjugial; that this love can only possibly exist between two; nor between two, except from the lord alone; and that into this love is inserted heaven with all its felicities. but these, and several other particulars respecting the condemnation of polygamy by the christian world, we will demonstrate in the following order: i. _love truly conjugial can only exist with one wife, consequently neither can friendship, confidence, ability truly conjugial, and such conjunction of minds that two may be one flesh._ ii. _thus celestial blessednesses, spiritual satisfactions, and natural delights, which from the beginning were provided for those who are in love truly conjugial, can only exist with one wife._ iii. _all those things can only exist from the lord alone; and they do not exist with any but those who come to him alone, and at the same time live according to his commandments._ iv. _consequently, love truly conjugial, with its felicities, can only exist with those who are of the christian church._ v. _therefore a christian is not allowed to marry more than one wife._ vi. _if a christian marries several wives, he commits not only natural but also spiritual adultery._ vii. _the israelitish nation was permitted to marry several wives, because they had not the christian church, and consequently love truly conjugial could not exist with them._ viii. _at this day the mahometans are permitted to marry several wives, because they do not acknowledge the lord jesus christ to be one with jehovah the father, and thereby to be the god of heaven and earth; and hence they cannot receive love truly conjugial._ ix. _the mahometan heaven is out of the christian heaven and is divided into two heavens, the inferior and the superior; and only those are elevated into their superior heaven who renounce concubines and live with one wife, and acknowledge our lord as equal to god the father, to whom is given dominion over heaven and earth._ x. _polygamy is lasciviousness._ xi. _conjugial chastity, purity, and sanctity, cannot exist with polygamists._ xii. _polygamists, so long as they remain such, cannot become spiritual._ xiii. _polygamy is not sin with those who live in it from a religious notion._ xiv. _that polygamy is not sin with those who are in ignorance respecting the lord._ xv. _that of these, although polygamists, such are saved as acknowledge god, and from a religious notion live according to the civil laws of justice._ xvi. _but none either of the latter or of the former can be associated with the angels in the christian heavens._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. love truly conjugial can only exist with one wife, consistently neither can friendship, confidence, ability truly conjugial, and such a conjunction of minds that two may be one flesh. that love truly conjugial is at this day so rare as to be generally unknown, is a subject which has been occasionally inquired into above; that nevertheless such love actually exists, was demonstrated in its proper chapter, and occasionally in following chapters. but apart from such demonstration, who does not know that there is such a love, which, for excellency and satisfaction, is paramount to all other loves, so that all other loves in respect to it are of little account? that it exceeds self-love, the love of the world, and even the love of life, experience testifies in a variety of cases. have there not been, and are there not still, instances of men, who for a woman, the dear and desired object of their wishes, prostrate themselves on their knees, adore her as a goddess, and submit themselves as the vilest slaves to her will and pleasure? a plain proof that this love exceeds the love of self. have there not been, and are there not still instances of men, who for such a woman, make light of wealth, yea of treasures presented in prospect, and are also prodigal of those which they possess? a plain proof that this love exceeds the love of the world. have there not been, and are there not still, instances of men who for such a woman, account life itself as worthless, and desire to die rather than be disappointed in their wishes, as is evidenced by the many fatal combats between rival lovers on such occasions? a plain proof that this love exceeds the love of life. lastly, have there not been, and are there not still, instances of men, who for such a woman, have gone raving mad in consequence of being denied a place in her favor? from such a commencement of this love in several cases, who cannot rationally conclude, that, from its essence, it holds supreme dominion over every other love; and that the man's soul in such case is in it, and promises itself eternal blessedness with the dear and desired object of its wishes? and who can discover, let him make what inquiry he pleases, any other cause of this than that he has devoted his soul and heart to one woman? for if the lover, while he is in that state, had the offer made him of choosing out of the whole sex the worthiest, the richest, and the most beautiful, would he not despise the offer, and adhere to her whom he had already chosen, his heart being riveted to her alone? these observations are made in order that you may acknowledge, that conjugial love of such super-eminence exists, while one of the sex alone is loved. what understanding which with quick discernment attends to a chain of connected reasonings, cannot hence conclude, that if a lover from his inmost soul constantly persisted in love to that one, he would attain those eternal blessednesses which he promised himself before consent, and promises in consent? that he also does attain them if he comes to the lord, and from him lives a life of true religion, was shewn above. who but the lord enters the life of man from a superior principle, and implants therein internal celestial joys, and transfers them to the derivative principles which follow in order; and the more so, while at the same time he also bestows an enduring strength or ability? it is no proof that such love does not exist, or cannot exist, to urge that it is not experienced in one's self, and in this or that person. . since love truly conjugial unites the souls and hearts of two persons, therefore also it is united with friendship, and by friendship with confidence, and makes each conjugial, and so exalts them above other friendships and confidences, that as that love is the chief love, so also that friendship and that confidence are the chief: that this is the case also with ability, is plain from several reasons, some of which are discovered in the second memorable relation that follows this chapter; and from this ability follows the endurance of that love. that by love truly conjugial two consorts become one flesh, was shewn in a separate chapter, from n. - . . ii. thus celestial blessedness, spiritual satisfactions, and natural delights, which from the beginning were provided for those who are in love truly conjugial, can only exist with one wife. they are called celestial blessednesses, spiritual satisfactions, and natural delights, because the human mind is distinguished into three regions, of which the highest is called celestial, the second spiritual, and the third natural; and those three regions, with such as are principled in love truly conjugial, are open, and influx follows in order according to the openings. and as the pleasantnesses of that love are most eminent in the highest regions, they are perceived as blessednesses, and as in the middle region they are less eminent, they are perceived as satisfactions, and lastly, in the lowest region, as delights: that there are such blessednesses, satisfactions, and delights, and that they are perceived and felt, appears from the memorable relations in which they are described. the reason why all those happinesses were from the beginning provided for those who are principled in love truly conjugial, is, because there is an infinity of all blessednesses in the lord, and he is divine love; and it is the essence of love to desire to communicate all its goods to another whom it loves; therefore together with man he created that love, and inserted in it the faculty of receiving and perceiving those blessednesses. who is of so dull and doting an apprehension as not to be able to see, that there is some particular love into which the lord has collected all possible blessings, satisfactions, and delights? . iii. all those things can only exist from the lord alone; and they do not exist with any but those who come to him alone, and live according to his commandments. this has been proved above in many places; to which proofs it may be expedient to add, that all those blessings, satisfactions, and delights can only be given by the lord, and therefore no other is to be approached. what other can be approached, when by him all things were made which are made, john i. ; when he is the god of heaven and earth, matt, xxviii. : when no appearance of god the father was ever seen, or his voice heard, except through him, john i. ; chap. v. ; chap. xiv. - ? from these and very many other passages in the word, it is evident that the marriage of love and wisdom, or of good and truth, from which alone all marriages derive their origin, proceeds from him alone. hence it follows, that the above love with its felicities exists with none but those who come to him; and the reason why it exists with those who live according to his commandments, is, because he is conjoined with them by love, john xiv. - . . iv. consequently, love truly conjugial with its felicities can only exist with those who are of the christian church. the reason why conjugial love, such as was described in its proper chapter, n. - , and in the following chapters, thus such as it is in its essence, exists only with those who are of the christian church, is, because that love is from the lord alone, and the lord is not so known elsewhere as that he can be approached as god; also because that love is according to the state of the church with every one, n. , and the genuine state of the church is from no other source than from the lord, and thus is with none but those who receive it from him. that these two principles are the beginnings, introductions, and establishments of that love, has been already confirmed by such abundance of evident and conclusive reasons, that it is altogether needless to say any thing more on the subject. the reason why conjugial love is nevertheless rare in the christian world, n. - , is, because few in that world approach the lord, and among those there are some who indeed believe the church, but do not live accordingly; besides other circumstances which are unfolded in the apocalypse revealed, where the present state of the christian church is fully described. but nevertheless it is an established truth, that love truly conjugial can only exist with those who are of the christian church; therefore also from this ground polygamy is in that church altogether rejected and condemned: that this also is of the divine providence of the lord, appears very manifest to those who think justly concerning providence. . v. therefore a christian is not allowed to marry more than one wife. this follows as a conclusion from the confirmation of the preceding articles; to which this is to be added, that the genuine conjugial principle is more deeply inserted into the minds of christians, than of the gentiles who have embraced polygamy; and that hence the minds of christians are more susceptible of that love than the minds of polygamists; for that conjugial principle is inserted in the interiors of the minds of christians, because they acknowledge the lord and his divine principle, and in the exteriors of their minds by civil laws. . vi. if a christian marries several wives, he commits not only natural but also spiritual adultery. that a christian who marries several wives, commits natural adultery, is agreeable to the lord's words, "_that it is not lawful to put away a wife, because from the beginning they were created to be one flesh; and that he who putteth away a wife without just cause, and marrieth another, committeth adultery_." matt. xix. - ; thus still more does he commit adultery who does not put away his wife, but, while retaining her, connects himself with another. this law enacted by the lord respecting marriages, has its internal ground in spiritual marriage; for whatever the lord spoke was in itself spiritual; which is meant by this declaration, "_the words that i speak unto you are spirit and are life_," john vi. . the spiritual (sense) contained therein is this, that by polygamical marriage in the christian world, the marriage of the lord and the church is profaned; in like manner the marriage of good and truth; and still more the word, and with the word the church; and the profanation of those things is spiritual adultery. that the profanation of the good and truth of the church derived from the word corresponds to adultery, and hence is spiritual adultery; and that the falsification of good and truth has alike correspondence, but in a less degree, may be seen confirmed in the apocalypse revealed, n. . the reason why by polygamical marriages among christians the marriage of the lord and the church is profaned, is, because there is a correspondence between that divine marriage and the marriages of christians; concerning which, see above, n. - ; which correspondence entirely perishes, if one wife is joined to another; and when it perishes, the married man is no longer a christian. the reason why by polygamical marriages among christians the marriage of good and truth is profaned, is because from this spiritual marriage are derived marriages in the world; and the marriages of christians differ from those of other nations in this respect, that as good loves truth, and truth good, and are a one, so it is with a wife and a husband; therefore if a christian should join one wife to another, he would rend asunder in himself that spiritual marriage; consequently he would profane the origin of his marriage, and would thereby commit spiritual adultery. that marriages in the world are derived from the marriage of good and truth, may be seen above, n. - . the reason why a christian by polygamical marriage would profane the word and the church, is, because the word considered in itself is the marriage of good and truth, and the church in like manner, so far as this is derived from the word; see above, n. - . now since a christian is acquainted with the lord, possesses the word, and has also the church from the lord by the word, it is evident that he, much more than one who is not a christian, has the faculty of being capable of being regenerated, and thereby of becoming spiritual, and also of attaining to love truly conjugial; for these things are connected together. since those christians who marry several wives, commit not only natural but also at the same time spiritual adultery, it follows that the condemnation of christian polygamists after death is more grievous than that of those who commit only natural adultery. upon inquiring into their state after death, i received for answer, that heaven is altogether closed in respect to them; that they appear in hell as lying in warm water in the recess of a bath, and that they thus appear at a distance, although they are standing on their feet, and walking, which is in consequence of their intestine frenzy; and that some of them are thrown into whirlpools in the borders of the worlds. . vii. the israelitish nation was permitted to marry several wives, because they had not the christian church, and consequently love truly conjugial could not exist with them. there are some at this day who are in doubt respecting the institution relative to monogamical marriages, or those of one man with one wife, and who are distracted by opposite reasonings on the subject; being led to suppose that because polygamical marriages were openly permitted in the case of the israelitish nation and its kings, and in the case of david and solomon, they are also in themselves permissible to christians; but such persons have no distinct knowledge respecting the israelitish nation and the christian, or respecting the externals and internals of the church, or respecting the change of the church from external to internal by the lord; consequently they know nothing from interior judgment respecting marriages. in general it is to be observed, that a man is born natural in order that he may be made spiritual; and that so long as he remains natural, he is in the night, and as it were asleep as to spiritual things; and that in this case he does not even know the difference between the external natural man and the internal spiritual. that the christian church was not with the israelitish nation, is known from the word; for they expected the messiah, as they still expect him, who was to exalt them above all other nations and people in the world: if therefore they had been told, and were still to be told, that the messiah's kingdom is over the heavens, and thence over all nations, they would have accounted it an idle tale; hence they not only did not acknowledge christ or the messiah, our lord, when he came into the world, but also barbarously took him away out of the world. from these considerations it is evident, that the christian church was not, with that nation, as neither is it at this day; and those with whom the christian church is not, are natural men both externally and internally: to such persons polygamy is not hurtful, since it is inherent in the natural man; for, in regard to love in marriages, the natural man perceives nothing but what has relation to lust. this is meant by these words of the lord, "_that moses, because of the hardness of their hearts, suffered them to put away their wives: but that from the beginning it was not so_," matt. xix. . he says that moses permitted it, in order that it may be known that it was not the lord (who permitted it). but that the lord taught the internal spiritual man, is known from his precepts, and from the abrogation of the rituals which served only for the use of the natural man; from his precepts respecting washing, as denoting the purification of the internal man, matt. xv. , - ; chap. xxiii. , ; mark vii. - ; respecting adultery, as denoting cupidity of the will, matt. v. ; respecting the putting away of wives, as being unlawful, and respecting polygamy, as not being agreeable to the divine law, matt. xix. - . these and several other things relating to the internal principle and the spiritual man, the lord taught, because he alone opens the internals of human minds, and makes them spiritual, and implants these spiritual principles in the natural, that these also may partake of a spiritual essence: and this effect takes place if he is approached, and the life is formed according to his command merits, which in a summary are, to believe on him, and to shun evils because they are of and from the devil; also to do good works, because they are of the lord and from the lord; and in each case for the man to act as from himself, and at the same time to believe that all is done by the lord through him. the essential reason why the lord opens the internal spiritual man, and implants this in the external natural man, is, because every man thinks and acts naturally, and therefore could not perceive any thing spiritual, and receives it in his natural principle, unless the lord had assumed the human natural, and had made this also divine. from these considerations now it appears a truth that the israelitish nation was permitted to marry several wives, because the christian church was not with them. . viii. at this day the mahometans are permitted to marry several wives, because they do not acknowledge the lord jesus christ to be one with jehovah the father, and thereby to be the god of heaven and earth, and hence cannot receive love truly conjugial. the mahometans, in conformity to the religion which mahomet gave them, acknowledge jesus christ to be the son of god and a grand prophet, and that he was sent into the world by god the father to teach mankind; but not that god the father and he are one, and that his divine and human (principle) are one person, united as soul and body, agreeably to the faith of all christians as grounded in the athanasian creed; therefore the followers of mahomet could not acknowledge our lord to be any god from eternity, but only to be a perfect natural man; and this being the opinion entertained by mahomet, and thence by his disciples, and they knowing that god is one, and that that god is he who created the universe, therefore they could do no other than pass by our lord in their worship; and the more so, because they declare mahomet also to be a grand prophet; neither do they know what the lord taught. it is owing to this cause, that the interiors of their minds, which in themselves are spiritual, could not be opened: that the interiors of the mind are opened by the lord alone, may be seen just above, n. . the genuine cause why they are opened by the lord, when he is acknowledged to be the god of heaven and earth, and is approached, and with those who live according to his commandments, is, because otherwise there is no conjunction, and without conjunction there is no reception. man is receptible of the lord's presence and of conjunction with him. to come to him causes presence, and to live according to his commandments causes conjunction; his presence alone is without reception, but presence and conjunction together are with reception. on this subject i will impart the following new information from the spiritual world. every one in that world, when he is thought of, is brought into view as present; but no one is conjoined to another except from the affection of love; and this is insinuated by doing what he requires, and what is pleasing to him. this circumstance, which is common in the spiritual world, derives its origin from the lord, who, in this same manner, is present and is conjoined. the above observations are made in order to shew, that the mahometans are permitted to marry several wives, because love truly conjugial, which subsists only between one man and one wife, was not communicable to them; since from their religious tenets they did not acknowledge the lord to be equal to god the father, and so to be the god of heaven and earth. that conjugial love with every one is according to the state of the church, may be seen above, at n. , and in several other places. . ix. the mahometan heaven is out of the christian heaven and is divided into two heavens, the inferior and the superior; and only those are elevated into their superior heaven who renounce concubines and live with one wife, and acknowledge our lord as equal to god the father, to whom is given dominion over heaven and earth. before we speak particularly to each of these points, it may be expedient to premise somewhat concerning the divine providence of the lord in regard to the rise of mahometanism. that this religion is received by more kingdoms than the christian religion, may possibly be a stumbling-block to those who, while thinking of the divine providence, at the same time believe that no one can be saved that is not born a christian; whereas the mahometan religion is no stumbling-block to those who believe that all things are of the divine providence. these inquire in what respect the divine providence is manifested in the mahometan religion; and they so discover in it this, that the mahometan religion acknowledges our lord to be the son of god, the wisest of men, and a grand prophet, who came into the world to instruct mankind; but since the mahometans have made the koran the book of their religion, and consequently think much of mahomet who wrote it, and pay him a degree of worship, therefore they think little respecting our lord. in order to shew more fully that the mahometan religion was raised up by the lord's divine providence to destroy the idolatries of several nations, we will give a detail of the subject, beginning with the origin of idolatries. previous to the mahometan religion idolatrous worship prevailed throughout the whole world; because the churches before the lord's coming were all representative; such also was the israelitish church, in which the tabernacle, the garments of aaron, the sacrifices, all things belonging to the temple at jerusalem, and also the statutes, were representative. the ancients likewise had the science of correspondences, which is also the science of representations, the very essential science of the wise, which was principally cultivated by the egyptians, whence their hieroglyphics were derived. from that science they knew what was signified by animals and trees of every kind, likewise by mountains, hills, rivers, fountains, and also by the sun, the moon, and the stars: by means of this science also they had a knowledge of spiritual things; since things represented, which were such as relate to the spiritual wisdom of the angels, were the origins (of those which represent). now since all their worship was representative, consisting of mere correspondences, therefore they celebrated it on mountains and hills, and also in groves and gardens; and on this account they sanctified fountains, and in their adorations turned their faces to the rising sun: moreover they made graven horses, oxen, calves, and lambs; yea, birds, fishes, and serpents; and these they set in their houses and other places, in order, according to the spiritual things of the church to which they corresponded, or which they represented. they also set similar images in their temples, as a means of recalling to their remembrance the holy things of worship which they signified. in process of time, when the science of correspondences was forgotten, their posterity began to worship the very graven images as holy in themselves, not knowing that the ancients, their fathers, did not see anything holy in them, but only that according to correspondences they represented and thence signified holy things. hence arose the idolatries which overspread the whole globe, as well asia with its islands, as africa and europe. to the intent that all those idolatries might be eradicated, it came to pass of the lord's divine providence, that a new religion, accommodated to the genius of the orientals, took its rise; in which something from each testament of the word was retained, and which taught that the lord had come into the world, and that he was a grand prophet, the wisest of all, and the son of god. this was effected by means of mahomet, from whom that religion took its name. from these considerations it is manifest, that this religion was raised up of the lord's divine providence, and accommodated, as we have observed, to the genius of the orientals, to the end that it might destroy the idolatries of so many nations, and might give its professors some knowledge of the lord, before they came into the spiritual world, as is the case with every one after death. this religion would not have been received by so many nations, neither could it have eradicated their idolatries, unless it had been made agreeable to their ideas; especially unless polygamy had been permitted; since without such permission, the orientals would have burned with the fire of filthy adultery more than the europeans, and would have perished. . the mahometans also have their heaven; for all in the universe, who acknowledge a god, and from a religious notion shuns evils as sins against him, are saved. that the mahometan heaven is distinguished into two, the inferior and the superior, i have heard from themselves: and that in the inferior heaven they live with several wives and concubines as in the world; but that those who renounce concubines and live with one wife, are elevated into the superior heaven. i have heard also that it is impossible for them to think of our lord as one with the father; but that it is possible for them to think of him as his equal, and that he has dominion over heaven and earth, because he is his son; therefore such of them as are elevated by the lord into their superior heaven, hold this belief. . on a certain time i was led to perceive the quality of the heat of conjugial love with polygamists. i was conversing with one who personated mahomet. mahomet himself is never present, but some one is substituted in his place, to the end that those who are lately deceased may as it were see him. this substitute, after i had been talking with him at a distance, sent me an ebony spoon and other things, which were proofs that they came from him; at the same time a communication was opened for the heat of their conjugial love in that place, which seemed to me like the warm stench of a bath; whereupon i turned myself away, and the communication was closed. . x. polygamy is lasciviousness. the reason of this is, because its love is divided among several, and is the love of the sex, and the love of the external or natural man, and thus is not conjugial love, which alone is chaste. it is well known that polygamical love is divided among several, and divided love is not conjugial love, which cannot be divided from one of the sex; hence the former love is lascivious, and polygamy is lasciviousness. polygamical love is the love of the sex, differing from it only in this respect, that it is limited to a number, which the polygamist may determine, and that it is bound to the observance of certain laws enacted for the public good; also that it is allowed to take concubines at the same time as wives; and thus, as it is the love of the sex, it is the love of lasciviousness. the reason why polygamical love is the love of the external or natural man is, because it is inherent in that man; and whatever the natural man does from himself is evil, from which he cannot be released except by elevation into the internal spiritual man, which is effected solely by the lord; and evil respecting the sex, by which the natural man is influenced, is whoredom; but since whoredom is destructive of society, instead thereof was induced its likeness, which is called polygamy. every evil into which a man is born from his parents, is implanted in his natural man, but not any in his spiritual man; because into this he is born from the lord. from what has now been adduced, and also from several other reasons, it may evidently be seen, that polygamy is lasciviousness. . xi. conjugial chastity, purity, and sanctity cannot exist with polygamists. this follows from what has been just now proved, and evidently from what was demonstrated in the chapter on the chaste principle and the non-chaste; especially from these articles of that chapter, namely, that a chaste, pure, and holy principle is predicated only of monogamical marriages, or of the marriage of one man with one wife, n. ; also, that love truly conjugial is essential chastity, and that hence all the delights of that love, even the ultimate, are chaste, n. , ; and moreover from what was adduced in the chapter on love truly conjugial, namely, that love truly conjugial, which is that of one man with one wife, from its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, and clean above every other love, n. . now since chastity, purity, and sanctity exist only in love truly conjugial, it follows, that it neither does nor can exist in polygamical love. . xii. a polygamist, so long as he remains such, cannot become spiritual. to become spiritual is to be elevated out of the natural, that is, out of the light and heat of the world, into the light and heat of heaven. respecting this elevation no one knows anything but he that is elevated; nevertheless the natural man, although not elevated, perceives no other than that he is; because he can elevate his understanding into the light of heaven, and think and talk spiritually, like the spiritual man; but if the will does not at the same time follow the understanding to its altitude, he is still not elevated; for he does not remain in that elevation, but in a short time lets himself down to his will, and there fixes his station. it is said the will, but it is the love that is meant at the same time; because the will is the receptacle of the love; for what a man loves, that he wills. from these few considerations it may appear, that a polygamist, so long as he remains such, or what is the same, a natural man, so long as he remains such, cannot be made spiritual. . xiii. polygamy is not sin with those who live in it from a religious notion. all that which is contrary to religion is believed to be sin, because it is contrary to god; and on the other hand, all that which agrees with religion, is believed not to be sin, because it agrees with god; and as polygamy existed with the sons of israel from a principle of religion, and exists at this day with the mahometans, it could not, and cannot, be imputed to them as sin. moreover, to prevent its being sin to them, they remain natural, and do not become spiritual; and the natural man cannot see that there is any sin in such things as belong to the received religion: this is seen only by the spiritual man. it is on this account, that although the mahometans are taught by the koran to acknowledge our lord as the son of god, still they do not come to him, but to mahomet; and so long they remain natural, and consequently do not know that there is in polygamy any evil, or indeed any lasciviousness. the lord also saith, "_if ye were blind ye would not have sin; but now ye say, we see, therefore your sin remaineth_," john ix. . since polygamy cannot convict them of sin, therefore after death they have their heavens, n. , ; and their joys there according to life. . xiv. polygamy is not sin with those who are in ignorance respecting the lord. this is, because love truly conjugial is from the lord alone, and cannot be imparted by the lord to any but those who know him, acknowledge him, believe on him, and live the life which is from him; and those to whom that love cannot be imparted know no other than that the love of the sex and conjugial love are the same thing; consequently also polygamy. moreover, polygamists, who know nothing of the lord, remain natural: for a man (_homo_) is made spiritual only from the lord; and that is not imputed to the natural man as sin, which is according to the laws of religion and at the same time of society: he also acts according to his reason; and the reason of the natural man is in mere darkness respecting love truly conjugial; and this love in excellence is spiritual. nevertheless the reason of polygamists is taught from experience, that both public and private peace require that promiscuous lust in general should be restrained, and be left to every one within his own house: hence comes polygamy. . it is well known, that a man (_homo_) by birth is viler than the beasts. all the beasts are born into the knowledges corresponding to the love of their life; for as soon as they are born, or are hatched from the egg, they see, hear, walk, know their food, their dam, their friends and foes; and soon after this they show attention to the sex, and to the affairs of love, and also to the rearing of their offspring. man alone, at his birth, knows nothing of this sort; for no knowledge is connate to him; he has only the faculty and inclination of receiving those things which relate to knowledge and love; and if he does not receive these from others, he remains viler than a beast. that man is born in this condition, to the end that he may attribute nothing to himself, but to others, and at length every thing of wisdom and of the love thereof to god alone, and may hence become an image of god, see the memorable relation, n. - . from these considerations it follows, that a man who does not learn from others that the lord has come into the world, and that he is god, and has only acquired some knowledge respecting religion and the laws of his country, is not in fault if he thinks no more of conjugial love than of the love of the sex, and if he believes polygamical love to be the only conjugial love. the lord leads such persons in their ignorance; and by his divine auspices providently withdraws from the imputation of guilt those who, from a religious notion, shun evils as sins, to the end that they may be saved; for every man is born for heaven, and no one for hell; and every one comes into heaven (by influence) from the lord, and into hell (by influence) from himself. . xv. of these, although polygamists, such are saved as acknowledge a god, and from a religious notion live according to the civil laws of justice. all throughout the world who acknowledge a god and live according to the civil laws of justice from a religious notion, are saved. by the civil laws of justice we mean such precepts as are contained in the decalogue, which forbid murder, theft, adultery, and false witness. these precepts are the civil laws of justice in all the kingdoms of the earth; for without them no kingdom could subsist. but some are influenced in the practice of them by fear of the penalties of the law, some by civil obedience, and some also by religion; these last are saved, because in such case god is in them; and every one, in whom god is, is saved. who does not see, that among the laws given to the sons of israel, after they had left egypt, were those which forbid murder, adultery, theft, and false witness, since without those laws their communion or society could not subsist? and yet these laws were promulgated by jehovah god upon mount sinai with a stupendous miracle: but the cause of their being so promulgated was, that they might be also laws of religion, and thus that the people might practise them not only for the sake of the good of society, but also for the sake of god, and that when they practised them from a religious notion for the sake of god, they might be saved. from these considerations it may appear, that the pagans, who acknowledge a god, and live according to the civil laws of justice, are saved; since it is not their fault that they know nothing of the lord, consequently nothing of the chastity of the marriage with one wife. for it is contrary to the divine justice to condemn those who acknowledge a god, and from their religion practise the laws of justice, which consist in shunning evils because they are contrary to god, and in doing what is good because it is agreeable to god. . xvi. but none either of the latter or of the former can be associated with the angels in the christian heavens. the reason of this is, because in the christian heavens there are celestial light, which is divine truth, and celestial heat, which is divine love; and these two discover the quality of goods and truths, and also of evils and falses; hence, there is no communication between the christian and the mahometan heavens, and in like manner between the heavens of the gentiles. if there were a communication, none could have been saved but those who were in celestial light and at the same time in celestial heat from the lord; yea neither would these be saved if there was a conjunction of the heavens: for in consequence of conjunction all the heavens would so far fall to decay that the angels would not be able to subsist; for an unchaste and lascivious principle would flow from the mahometans into the christian heaven, which in that heaven could not be endured; and a chaste and pure principle would flow from the christians into the mahometan heaven, which again could not be there endured. in such case, in consequence of communication and thence of conjunction, the christian angels would become natural and thereby adulterers; or if they remained spiritual, they would be continually sensible of a lascivious principle about them, which would intercept all the blessedness of their life. the case would be somewhat similar with the mahometan heaven: for the spiritual principles of the christian heaven would continually encompass and torment them, and would take away all the delight of their life, and would moreover insinuate that polygamy is sin, whereby they would be continually eluded. this is the reason why all the heavens are altogether distinct from each other, so that there is no connection between them, except by an influx of light and heat from the lord out of the sun, in the midst of which he is: and this influx enlightens and vivifies everyone according to his reception; and reception is according to religion. this communication is granted, but not a communication of the heavens with each other. * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations. first. i was once in the midst of the angels and heard their conversation. it was respecting intelligence and wisdom; that a man perceives no other than that each is in himself, and thus that whatever he thinks from his understanding and intends from his will, is from himself; when nevertheless not the least portion thereof is from the man, but only the faculty of receiving the things of the understanding and the will from god: and as every man (_homo_) is by birth inclined to love himself, it was provided from creation, to prevent man's perishing by self-love and the conceit of his own intelligence, that that love of the man (_vir_) should be transferred into the wife, and that in her should be implanted from her birth a love for the intelligence and wisdom of her husband, and thereby a love for him; therefore the wife continually attracts to herself her husband's conceit of his own intelligence, and extinguishes it in him, and vivifies it in herself, and thus changes it into conjugial love, and fills it with unbounded pleasantnesses. this is provided by the lord, lest the conceit of his own intelligence should so far infatuate the man, as to lead him to believe that he has understanding and wisdom from himself and not from the lord, and thereby make him willing to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and thence to believe himself like unto god, and also a god, as the serpent, which was the love of his own intelligence, said and persuaded him: wherefore the man (_homo_) after eating was cast out of paradise, and the way to the tree of life was guarded by a cherub. paradise, spiritually understood, denotes intelligence; to eat of the tree of life, in a spiritual sense, is to be intelligent and wise from the lord; and to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, in a spiritual sense, is to be intelligent and wise from self. . the angels having finished this conversation departed; and there came two priests, together with a man who in the world had been an ambassador of a kingdom, and to them i related what i had heard from the angels. on hearing this they began to dispute with each other about intelligence and wisdom, and the prudence thence derived, whether they are from god or from man. the dispute grew warm. all three in heart believed that they are from man because they are in man, and that the perception and sensation of its being so confirm it; but the priests, who on this occasion were influenced by theological zeal, said that there is nothing of intelligence and wisdom, and thus nothing of prudence from man; and when the ambassador retorted, that in such case there is nothing of thought from man, they assented to it. but as it was perceived in heaven, that all the three were in a similar belief, it was said to the ambassador, "put on the garments of a priest, and believe that you are one, and then speak." he did so; and instantly he declared aloud that nothing of intelligence and wisdom, and consequently nothing of prudence, can possibly exist but from god; and he proved it with his usual eloquence full of rational arguments. it is a peculiar circumstance in the spiritual world, that a spirit thinks himself to be such as is denoted by the garment he wears; because in that world the understanding clothes every one. afterwards, a voice from heaven said to the two priests, "put off your own garments, and put on those of political ministers, and believe yourselves to be such." they did so; and in this case they at the same time thought from their interior self, and spoke from arguments which they had inwardly cherished in favor of man's own intelligence. at that instant there appeared a tree near the path; and it was said to them, "it is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; take heed to yourselves lest ye eat of it." nevertheless all the three, infatuated by their own intelligence, burned with a desire to eat of it, and said to each other, "why should not we? is not the fruit good?" and they went to it and eat of it. immediately all the three, as they were in a like faith, became bosom friends; and they entered together into the way of self-intelligence, which led into hell: nevertheless i saw them return thence, because they were not yet prepared. . the second memorable relation. on a time as i was looking into the spiritual world, i saw in a certain green field some men, whose garments were like those worn by men of this world; from which circumstance i knew that they were lately deceased. i approached them and stood near them, that i might hear what they were conversing about. their conversation was about heaven; and one of them who knew something respecting it, said, "in heaven there are wonderful things, such as no one can believe unless he has seen them: there are paradisiacal gardens, magnificent palaces constructed according to the rules of architecture, because the work of the art itself, resplendent with gold; in the front of which are columns of silver; and on the columns heavenly forms made of precious stones; also houses of jasper and sapphire, in the front of which are stately porticos, through which the angels enter; and within the houses handsome furniture, which no art or words can describe. the angels themselves are of both sexes: there are youths and husbands, also maidens and wives: maids so beautiful, that nothing in the world bears any resemblance to their beauty; and wives still more beautiful, who are genuine images of celestial love, and their husbands images of celestial wisdom; and all these are ever approaching the full bloom of youth; and what is more, they know no other love of the sex than conjugial love; and, what you will be surprised to hear, the husbands there have a perpetual faculty of enjoyment." when the novitiate spirits heard that no other love of the sex prevailed in heaven than conjugial love, and that they had a perpetual faculty of enjoyment, they smiled at each other, and said, "what you tell us is incredible; there cannot be such a faculty: possibly you are amusing us with idle tales." but at that instant a certain angel from heaven unexpectedly stood in the midst of them, and said, "hear me, i beseech you; i am an angel of heaven, and have lived now a thousand years with my wife, and during that time have been in the same flower of my age in which you here see me. this is in consequence of the conjugial love in which i have lived with my wife; and i can affirm, that the above faculty has been and is perpetual with me; and because i perceive that you believe this to be impossible, i will talk with you on the subject from a ground of rational argument according to the light of your understanding. you do not know anything of the primeval state of man, which you call a state of integrity. in that state all the interiors of the mind were open even to the lord; and hence they were in the marriage of love and wisdom, or of good and truth; and as the good of love and the truth of wisdom perpetually love each other, they also perpetually desire to be united; and when the interiors of the mind are open, the conjugial spiritual love flows down freely with its perpetual endeavour, and presents the above faculty. the very soul of a man (_homo_), being in the marriage of good and truth, is not only in the perpetual endeavour of that union, but also in the perpetual endeavour of the fructification and production of its own likeness; and since the interiors of a man even from the soul are open by virtue of that marriage, and the interiors continually regard as an end the effect in ultimates that they may exist, therefore that perpetual endeavor for fructifying and producing its like, which is the property of the soul, becomes also of the body: and since the ultimate of the operation of the soul in the body with two conjugial partners is into the ultimates of love therein, and these depend on the state of the soul, it is evident whence they derive this perpetuality. fructification also is perpetual, because the universal sphere of generating and propagating the celestial things which are of love, and the spiritual things which are of wisdom, and thence the natural things which are of offspring, proceeds from the lord, and fills all heaven and all the world; and that celestial sphere fills the souls of all men, and descends through their minds into the body even to its ultimates, and gives the power of generating. but this cannot be the case with any but those with whom a passage is open from the soul through the superior and inferior principles of the mind into the body to its ultimates, as is the case with those who suffer themselves to be led back by the lord into the primeval state of creation. i can confirm that now for a thousand years i have never wanted faculty, strength, or vigor, and that i am altogether a stranger to any diminution of powers, which are continually renewed by the influx of the above-mentioned sphere, and in such case also cheer the mind (_animum_), and do not make it sad, as is the case with those who suffer the loss of those powers. moreover love truly conjugial is just like the vernal heat, from the influx of which all things tend to germination and fructification; nor is there any other heat in our heaven: wherefore with conjugial partners in that heaven there is spring in its perpetual _conatus_, and it is this perpetual _conatus_ from which the above virtue is derived. but fructifications with us in heaven are different from those with men on earth. with us fructifications are spiritual, which are the fructifications of love and wisdom, or of good and truth: the wife from the husband's wisdom receives into herself the love thereof; and the husband from the love thereof in the wife receives into himself wisdom; yea the wife is actually formed into the love of the husband's wisdom, which is effected by her receiving the propagations of his soul with the delight arising therefrom, in that she desires to be the love of her husband's wisdom: thus from a maiden she becomes a wife and a likeness. hence also love with its inmost friendship with the wife, and wisdom with its happiness with the husband, are continually increasing, and this to eternity. this is the state of the angels of heaven." when the angel had thus spoken, he looked at those who had lately come from the world, and said to them, "you know that, while you were in the vigor of love, you loved your married partners; but when your appetite was gratified, you regarded them with aversion; but you do not know that we in heaven do not love our married partners in consequence of that vigor, but that we have vigor in consequence of love and derived from it; and that as we perpetually love our married partners, we have perpetual vigor: if therefore you can invert the state, you may be able to comprehend this. does not he who perpetually loves a married partner, love her with the whole mind and with the whole body? for love turns every thing of the mind and of the body to that which it loves; and as this is done reciprocally, it conjoins the objects so that they become a one." he further said, "i will not speak to you of the conjugial love implanted from the creation in males and females, and of their inclination to legitimate conjunction, or of the faculty of prolification in the males, which makes one with the faculty of multiplying wisdom from the love of truth; and that so far as a man loves wisdom from the love thereof, or truth from good, so far he is in love truly conjugial and in its attendant vigor." . when he had spoken these words, the angel was silent; and from the spirit of his discourse the novitiates comprehended that a perpetual faculty of enjoyment is communicable; and as this consideration rejoiced their minds, they exclaimed, "o how happy is the state of angels! we perceive that you in the heavens remain for ever in a state of youth, and thence in the vigor of that age; but tell us how we also may enjoy that vigor." the angel replied, "shun adulteries as internal, and approach the lord, and you will possess it." they said, "we will do so." but the angel replied, "you cannot shun adulteries as infernal evils, unless you in like manner shun all other evils, because adulteries are the complex of all; and unless you shun them, you cannot approach the lord; for the lord receives no others." after this the angel took his leave, and the novitiate spirits departed sorrowful. * * * * * on jealousy. . the subject of jealousy is here treated of, because it also has relation to conjugial love. there is a just jealousy and an unjust;--a just jealousy with married partners who mutually love each other, with whom it is a just and prudent zeal lest their conjugial love should be violated, and thence a just grief if it is violated; and an unjust jealousy with those who are naturally suspicious, and whose minds are sickly in consequence of viscous and bilious blood. moreover, all jealousy is by some accounted a vice; which is particularly the case with whoremongers, who censure even a just jealousy. the term jealousy (_zelotypia_) is derived from zeli typus (the type of zeal), and there is a type or image of just and also of unjust zeal; but we will explain these distinctions in the following series of articles: i. _zeal, considered in itself, is like the ardent fire, of love._ ii. _the burning or flame of that love, which is zeal, is a spiritual burning or flame, arising from an infestation and assault of the love._ iii. _the quality of a man's (homo) zeal is according to the quality of his love; thus it differs according as the love is good or evil._ iv. _the zeal of a good love and the zeal of an evil love are alike in externals, but altogether unlike in internals._ v. _the zeal of a good love in its internals contains a hidden store of love and friendship; but the zeal of an evil love in its internals contains a hidden store of hatred and revenge._ vi. _the zeal of conjugial love is called jealousy._ vii. _jealousy is like an ardent fire against those who infest love exercised towards a married partner, and like a terrible fear for the loss of that love._ viii. _there is spiritual jealousy with monogamists, and natural with polygamists._ ix. _jealousy with those married partners who tenderly love each other, is a just grief grounded in sound reason lest conjugial love should be divided, and should thereby perish._ x. _jealousy with married partners who do not love each other, is grounded in several causes: arising in some instances from various mental weaknesses._ xi. _in some instances there is not any jealousy; and this also from various causes._ xii. _there is a jealousy also in regard to concubines, but not such as in regard to wives._ xiii. _jealousy likewise exists among beasts and birds._ xiv. _the jealousy of men and husbands is different from that of women and wives._ we proceed to an explanation of the above articles. . i. zeal, considered in itself, is like the ardent fire of love, what jealousy is cannot be known, unless it be known what zeal is; for jealousy is the zeal of conjugial love. the reason why zeal is like the ardent fire of love is, because zeal is of love, which is spiritual heat, and this in its origin is like fire. in regard to the first position, it is well known that zeal is of love: nothing else is meant by being zealous, and acting from zeal, than acting from the force of love: but since when it exists, it appears not as love, but as unfriendly and hostile, offended at and fighting against him who hurts the love, therefore it may also be called the defender and protector of love; for all love is of such a nature that it bursts into indignation and anger, yea into fury, whenever it is disturbed in its delights: therefore if a love, especially the ruling love, be touched, there ensues an emotion of the mind; and if it be hurt, there ensues wrath. from these considerations it may be seen, that zeal is not the highest degree of the love, but that it is ardent love. the love of one, and the correspondent love of another, are like two confederates; but when the love of one rises up against the love of another, they become like enemies; because love is the _esse_ of a man's life; therefore he that assaults the love, assaults the life itself; and in such case there ensues a state of wrath against the assailant, like the state of every man whose life is attempted by another. such wrath is attendant on every love, even that which is most pacific, as is very manifest in the case of hens, geese, and birds of every kind; which, without any fear, rise against and fly at those who injure their young, or rob them of their meat. that some beasts are seized with anger, and wild beasts with fury, if their young are attacked, or their prey taken from them, is well known. the reason why love is said to burn like fire is, because love is spiritual heat, originating in the fire of the angelic sun, which is pure love. that love is heat as it were from fire, evidently appears from the heat of living bodies, which is from no other source than from their love; also from the circumstance that men grow warm and are inflamed according to the exaltation of their love. from these considerations it is manifest, that zeal is like the ardent fire of love. . ii. the burning or flame of that love, which is zeal, is a spiritual burning or flame, arising from an infestation and assault of the love. that zeal is a spiritual burning or flame, is evident from what has been said above. as love in the spiritual world is heat arising from the sun of that world, therefore also love at a distance appears there as flame: it is thus that celestial love appears with the angels of heaven; and thus also infernal love appears with the spirits of hell: but it is to be observed, that that flame does not burn like the flame of the natural world. the reason why zeal arises from an assault of the love is, because love is the heat of every one's life; wherefore when the life's love is assaulted, the life's heat kindles itself, resists, and bursts forth against the assailant, and acts as an enemy by virtue of its own strength and ability, which is like flame bursting from a fire upon him who stirs it: that it is like fire, appears from the sparkling of the eyes from the face being inflamed, also from the tone of the voice and the gestures. this is the effect of love, as being the heat of life, to prevent its extinction, and with it the extinction of all cheerfulness, vivacity, and perceptibility of delight, grounded in its own love. . it may be expedient here to show how the love by being assaulted is inflamed and kindled into zeal, like fire into flame. love resides in a man's will; nevertheless it is not inflamed in the will itself, but in the understanding; for in the will it is like fire, and in the understanding like flame. love in the will knows nothing about itself, because there it is not sensible of anything relating to itself, neither does it there act from itself; but this is done in the understanding and its thought: when therefore the will is assaulted, it provokes itself to anger in the understanding, which is effected by various reasonings. these reasonings are like pieces of wood, which the fire inflames, and which thence burn: they are therefore like so much fuel, or so many combustible matters which give occasion to that spiritual flame, which is very variable. . we will here unfold the true reason why a man becomes inflamed in consequence of an assault of his love. the human form in its inmost principles is from creation a form of love and wisdom. in man there are all the affections of love, and thence all the perceptions of wisdom, compounded in the most perfect order, so as to make together what is unanimous, and thereby a one. those affections and perceptions are rendered substantial; for substances are their subjects. since therefore the human form is compounded of these, it is evident that, if the love is assaulted, this universal form also, with everything therein, is assaulted at the same instant, or together with it. and as the desire to continue in its form is implanted from creation in all living things, therefore this principle operates in every general compound by derivation from the singulars of which it is compounded, and in the singulars by derivation from the general compound: hence when the love is assaulted, it defends itself by its understanding, and the understanding (defends itself) by rational and imaginative principles, whereby it represents to itself the event; especially by such as act in unity with the love which is assaulted: and unless this was the case the above form would wholly fall to pieces, in consequence of the privation of that love. hence then it is that love, in order to resist assaults, hardens the substance of its form, and sets them erect, as it were in crests, like so many sharp prickles, that is, crisps itself; such is the provoking of love which is called zeal: wherefore if there is no opportunity of resistance, there arise anxiety and grief, because it foresees the extinction of interior life with its delights. but on the other hand, if the love is favored and cherished, the above form unbends, softens, and dilates itself; and the substances of the form become gentle, mild, meek, and alluring. . iii. the quality of a man's zeal is according to the quality of his love; thus it differs according as the love is good or evil. since zeal is of love, it follows that its quality is such as the quality of the love is; and as there are in general two loves, the love of what is good and thence of what is true, and the love of what is evil and thence of what is false, hence in general there is a zeal in favor of what is good and thence of what is true, and in favor of what is evil and thence of what is false. but it is to be noted, that of each love there is an infinite variety. this is very manifest from the angels of heaven and the spirits of hell; both of whom in the spiritual world are the forms of their respective love; and yet there is not one angel of heaven absolutely like another as to face, speech, gait, gesture, and manner; nor any spirit of hell; yea neither can there be to eternity, howsoever they be multiplied into myriads of myriads. hence it is evident, that there is an infinite variety of loves, because there is of their forms. the case is the same with zeal, as being of the love; the zeal of one cannot be absolutely like or the same with the zeal of another. in general there are the zeal of a good and the zeal of an evil love. . iv. the zeal of a good love and the zeal of an evil love are alike in externals, but altogether different in internals. zeal in externals, with every one, appears like anger and wrath; for it is love enkindled and inflamed to defend itself against a violator, and to remove him. the reason why the zeal of a good love and the zeal of an evil love appear alike in externals is, because in both cases love while it is in zeal, burns; but with a good man only in externals, whereas with an evil man it burns in both externals and internals; and when internals are not regarded, the zeals appear alike in externals; but that they are altogether different in internals will be seen in the next article. that zeal appears in externals like anger and wrath, may be seen and heard from all those who speak and act from zeal; as for example, from a priest while he is preaching from zeal, the tone of whose voice is high, vehement, sharp, and harsh; his face is heated and perspires; he exerts himself, beats the pulpit, and calls forth fire from hell against those who do evil: and so in many other cases. . in order that a distinct idea may be formed of zeal as influencing the good, and of zeal as influencing the wicked, and of their dissimilitude, it is necessary that some idea be previously formed of men's internals and externals. for this purpose, let us take a common idea on the subject, as being adapted to general apprehension, and let it be exhibited by the case of a nut or an almond, and their kernels. with the good, the internals are like the kernels within as to their soundness and goodness, encompassed with their usual and natural husk; with the wicked, the case is altogether different, their internals are like kernels which are either not eatable from their bitterness, or rotten, or worm-eaten; whereas their externals are like the shells or husks of those kernels, either like the natural shells or husks, or shining bright like shell-fish, or speckled like the stones called irises, such is the appearance of their externals, within which the above-mentioned internals lie concealed. the case is the same with their zeal. . v. the zeal of a good love in its internals contains a hidden store of love and friendship; but this zeal of an evil love in its internals contains a hidden store of hatred and revenge. it was said just above, that zeal in externals appears like anger and wrath, as well with those who are in a good love, as with those who are in an evil love: but whereas the internals are different, the anger and wrath in each case differs from that of the other, and the difference is as follows: . the zeal of a good love is like a heavenly flame, which in one case bursts out upon another, but only defends itself, and that against a wicked person, as when he rushes into the fire and is burnt: but the zeal of an evil love is like an infernal flame, which of itself bursts forth and rushes on, and is desirous to consume another. . the zeal of a good love instantly burns away and is allayed when the assailant ceases to assault; but the zeal of an evil love continues and is not extinguished. . this is because the internal of him who is in the love of good is in itself mild, soft, friendly, and benevolent; wherefore when his external, with a view of defending itself, is fierce, harsh, and haughty, and thereby acts with rigor, still it is tempered by the good in which he is internally: it is otherwise with the wicked; with such the internal is unfriendly, without pity, harsh, breathing hatred and revenge, and feeding itself with their delights; and although it is reconciled, still those evils lie concealed as fires in wood underneath the embers; and these fires burst forth after death, if not in this world. . since zeal in externals appears alike both in the good and the wicked, and since the ultimate sense of the word consists of correspondence and appearances, therefore in the word, it is very often said of jehovah that he is angry and wrathful, that he revenges, punishes, casts into hell, with many other things which are appearances of zeal in externals; hence also it is that he is called zealous: whereas there is not the least of anger, wrath, and revenge in him; for he is essential mercy, grace and clemency, thus essential good, in whom it is impossible such evil passions can exist. but on this subject see more particulars in the treatise on heaven and hell, n. - ; and in the apocalypse revealed, n. , , , , . . vi. the zeal of conjugial love is called jealousy. zeal in favor of truly conjugial love is the chief of zeals; because that love is the chief of loves, and its delights, in favor of which also zeal operates, are the chief delights; for, as was shewn above, that love is the head of all loves. the reason of this is, because that love induces in a wife the form of love, and in a husband the form of wisdom; and from these forms united into one, nothing can proceed but what savors of wisdom and at the same time of love. as the zeal of conjugial love is the chief of zeals, therefore it is called by a new name, jealousy, which is the very type of zeal. . vii. jealousy is like an ardent fire against those who infest love exercised towards a married partner, and like a terrible fear for the loss of that love. the subject here treated of is jealousy of those who are in spiritual love with a married partner; in the following article we shall treat of the jealousy of those who are in natural love; and afterwards of the jealousy of those who are in love truly conjugial. with those who are in spiritual love the jealousy is various, because their love is various; for one love, whether spiritual or natural, is never altogether alike with two persons, still less with several. the reason why spiritual jealousy, or jealousy with the spiritual, is like an ardent fire raging against those who infest their conjugial love, is, because with them the first principle of love is in the internals of each party, and their love from its first principle follows its principiates, even to its ultimates, by virtue of which ultimates and at the same time of first principles, the intermediates which are of the mind and body, are kept in lovely connection. these, being spiritual, in their marriage regard union as an end, and in union spiritual rest and the pleasantness thereof: now, as they have rejected disunion from their minds, therefore their jealousy is like a fire stirred up and darting forth against those who infest them. the reason why it is also like a terrible fear is, because their spiritual love intends that they be one; if therefore there exists a chance, or happens an appearance of separation, a fear ensues as terrible as when two united parts are torn asunder. this description of jealousy was given me from heaven by those who are in spiritual conjugial love; for there are a natural, a spiritual, and a celestial conjugial love; concerning the natural and the celestial conjugial love, and their jealousy, we shall take occasion to speak in the two following articles. . viii. there is spiritual jealousy with monogamists, and natural with polygamists. the reason why spiritual jealousy exists with monogamists is, because they alone can receive spiritual conjugial love, as has been abundantly shewn above. it is said that it exists; but the meaning is that it is capable of existing. that it exists only with a very few in the christian world, where there are monogamical marriages, but that still it is capable of existing there, has also been confirmed above. that with polygamists conjugial love is natural, may be seen in the chapter on polygamy, n. , ; in like manner jealousy is natural in the same case, because this follows love. what the quality of jealousy is among polygamists, we are taught from the relations of those who have been eyewitnesses of its effects among the orientals: these effects are, that wives and concubines are guarded as prisoners in work-houses, and are withheld from and prohibited all communication with men; that into the women's apartments, or the closets of their confinement, no man is allowed to enter unless attended by a eunuch; and that the strictest watch it set to observe whether any of the women look with a lascivious eye or countenance at a man as he passes; and that if this be observed, the woman is sentenced to the whip; and in case she indulges her lasciviousness with any man, whether introduced secretly into her apartment, or from home, she is punished with death. . from these considerations it is plainly seen what is the quality of the fire of jealousy into which polygamical conjugial love enkindles itself,--that it is into anger and revenge; into anger with the meek, and into revenge with the fierce. the reason of this effect is, because their love is natural, and does not partake of anything spiritual. this is a consequence of what is demonstrated in the chapter on polygamy,--that polygamy is lasciviousness, n. ; and that a polygamist, so long as he remains such, is natural, and cannot become spiritual, n. . but the fire of jealousy is different with natural monogamists, whose love is inflamed not so much against the women as against those who do violence, becoming anger against the latter, and cold against the former: it is otherwise with polygamists, whose fire of jealousy burns also with the rage of revenge: this likewise is one of the reasons why, after the death of polygamists, their concubines and wives are for the most part set free, and are sent to seraglios not guarded, to employ themselves in the various elegant arts proper to women. . ix. jealousy with those married partners who tenderly love each other, is a just grief grounded in sound reason lest conjugial love should be divided, and should thereby perish. all love is attended with fear and grief; fear lest it should perish, and grief in case it perishes: it is the same with conjugial love; but the fear and grief attending this love is called zeal or jealousy. the reason why this zeal, with married partners who tenderly love each other, is just and grounded in sound reason, is, because it is at the same time a fear for the loss of eternal happiness, not only of its own but also of its married partner's, and because also it is a defence against adultery. in respect to the first consideration,--that it is a just fear for the loss of its own eternal happiness and of that of its married partner, it follows from every thing which has been heretofore adduced concerning love truly conjugial; and also from this consideration, that married partners derive from that love the blessedness of their souls, the satisfaction of their minds, the delight of their bosoms, and the pleasure of their bodies; and since these remain with them to eternity, each party has a fear for eternal happiness. that the above zeal is a just defence against adulteries, is evident: hence it is like a fire raging against violation, and defending itself against it. from these considerations it is evident, that whoever loves a married partner tenderly, is also jealous, but is just and discreet according to the man's wisdom. . it was said, that in conjugial love there is implanted a fear lest it should be divided, and a grief lest it should perish, and that its zeal is like a fire raging against violation. some time ago, when meditating on this subject, i asked the zealous angels concerning the seat of jealousy? they said, that it is in the understanding of the man who receives the love of a married partner and returns it; and that its quality there is according to his wisdom: they said further, that jealousy has in it somewhat in common with honor, which also resides in conjugial love; for he that loves his wife, also honors her. in regard to zeal's residing with a man in his understanding, they assigned this reason; because conjugial love defends itself by the understanding, as good does by truth; so the wife defends those things which are common with the man, by her husband; and that on this account zeal is implanted in the men, and by them, and for their sake, in the women. to the question as to the region of the mind in which jealousy resides with the men, they replied, in their souls, because it is also a defence against adulteries; and because adulteries principally destroy conjugial love, that when there is danger of the violation of that love, the man's understanding grows hard, and becomes like a horn, with which he strikes the adulterer. . x. jealousy with married partners who do not love each other, is grounded in several causes; arising in some instances from various mental weaknesses. the causes why married partners who do not mutually love each other, are yet jealous, are principally the honor resulting from power, the fear of defamation with respect both to the man himself and also to his wife, and the dread lest domestic affairs should fall into confusion. it is well known that the men have honor resulting from power, that is, that they are desirous of being respected in consequence thereof; for so long as they have this honor, they are as it were of an elevated mind, and not dejected when in the company of men and women: to this honor also is attached the name of bravery; wherefore military officers have it more than others. that the fear of defamation, with respect both to the man himself and also to his wife, is a cause of jealousy that agrees with the foregoing: to which may be added, that living with a harlot, and debauched practices in a house, are accounted infamous. the reason why some are jealous through a dread lest their domestic affairs should fall into confusion, is because, so far as this is the case, the husband is made light of, and mutual services and aids are withdrawn; but with some in process of time this jealousy ceases and is annihilated, and with some it is changed into the mere semblance of love. . that jealousy in certain cases arises from various mental weaknesses, is not unknown in the world; for there are jealous persons, who are continually thinking that their wives are unfaithful, and believe them to be harlots, merely because they hear or see them talk in a friendly manner with or about men. there are several vitiated affections of the mind which induce this weakness; the principal of which is a suspicious fancy, which if it be long cherished, introduces the mind into societies of similar spirits, from whence it cannot without difficulty be rescued; it also confirms itself in the body, by rendering the serum, and consequently the blood, viscous, tenacious, thick, slow, and acrid, a defect of strength also increases it; for the consequence of such defect is, that the mind cannot be elevated from its suspicious fancies; for the presence of strength elevates, and its absence depresses, the latter causing the mind to sink, give way, and become feeble; in which case it immerses itself more and more in the above fancy, till it grows delirious, and thence takes delight in quarrelling, and, so far as is allowable, in abuse. . there are also several countries, which more than others labor under this weakness of jealousy: in these the wives are imprisoned, are tyrannically shut out from conversation with men, are prevented from even looking at them through the windows, by blinds drawn down, and are terrified by threats of death if the cherished suspicion shall appear well grounded; not to mention other hardships which the wives in those countries suffer from their jealous husbands. there are two causes of this jealousy; one is, an imprisonment and suffocation of the thoughts in the spiritual things of the church; the other is, an inward desire of revenge. as to the first cause,--the imprisonment and suffocation of the thoughts in the spiritual things of the church, its operation and effect may be concluded from what has been proved above,--that everyone has conjugial love according to the state of the church with him, and as the church is from the lord, that that love is solely from the lord, n. , ; when therefore, instead of the lord, living and deceased men are approached and invoked, it follows, that the state of the church is such that conjugial love cannot act in unity with it; and the less so while the mind is terrified into that worship by the threats of a dreadful prison: hence it comes to pass, that the thoughts, together with the expressions of them in conversation, are violently seized and suffocated; and when they are suffocated, there is an influx of such things as are either contrary to the church, or imaginary in favor of it; the consequence of which is, heat in favor of harlots and cold towards a married partner; from which two principles prevailing together in one subject, such an unconquerable fire of jealousy flows forth. as to the second cause,--the inward desire of revenge, this altogether checks the influx of conjugial love, and swallows it up, and changes the delight thereof, which is celestial, into the delight of revenge, which is infernal; and the proximate determination of this latter is to the wife. there is also an appearance, that the unhealthiness of the atmosphere, which in those regions is impregnated with the poisonous exhalations of the surrounding country, is an additional cause. . xi. in some instances there is not any jealousy; and this also from various causes. there are several causes of there being no jealousy, and of its ceasing. the absence of jealousy is principally with those who make no more account of conjugial than of adulterous love, and at the same time are so void of honorable feeling as to slight the reputation of a name: they are not unlike married pimps. there is no jealousy likewise with those who have rejected it from a confirmed persuasion that it infests the mind, and that it is useless to watch a wife, and that to do so serves only to incite her, and that therefore it is better to shut the eyes, and not even to look through the key-hole, lest any thing should be discovered. some have rejected jealousy on account of the reproach attached to the name, and under the idea that any one who is a real man, is afraid of nothing: some have been driven to reject it lest their domestic affairs should suffer, and also lest they should incur public censure in case the wife was convicted of the disorderly passion of which she is accused. moreover jealousy passes off into no jealousy with those who grant license to their wives, either from a want of ability, or with a view to the procreation of children for the sake of inheritance, also in some cases with a view to gain, and so forth. there are also disorderly marriages, in which, by mutual consent, the licence of unlimited amour is allowed to each party, and yet they are civil and complaisant to each other when they meet. . xii. there is a jealousy also in regard to concubines, but not such as in regard to wives. jealousy in regard to wives originates in a man's inmost principles; but jealousy in regard to concubines originates in external principles; they therefore differ in kind. the reason why jealousy in regard to wives originates in inmost principles is, because conjugial love resides in them: the reason why it resides there is, because marriage from the eternity of its compact established by covenant, and also from an equality of right, the right of each party being transferred to the other, unites souls, and lays a superior obligation on minds: this obligation and that union, once impressed, remain inseparable, whatever be the quality of the love afterwards, whether it be warm or cold. hence it is that an invitation to love coming from a wife chills the whole man from the inmost principles to the outermost; whereas an invitation to love coining from a concubine has not the same effect upon the object of her love. to jealousy in regard to a wife is added the earnest desire of reputation with a view to honor; and there is no such addition to jealousy in regard to a concubine. nevertheless both kinds of jealousy vary according to the seat of the love received by the wife and by the concubine; and at the same time according to the state of the judgment of the man receiving it. . xiii. jealousy likewise exists among beasts and birds. that it exists among wild beasts, as lions, tigers, bears, and several others, while they have whelps, is well known; and also among bulls, although they have not calves: it is most conspicuous among dung-hill cocks, who in favor of their hens fight with their rivals even to death: the reason why the latter have such jealousy is, because they are vain-glorious lovers, and the glory of that love cannot endure an equal; that they are vain-glorious lovers, above every genus and species of birds, is manifest from their gestures, nods, gait, and tone of voice. that the glory of honor with men, whether lovers or not, excites, increases, and sharpens jealousy, has been confirmed above. . xiv. the jealousy of men and husbands is different from that of women and wives. the differences cannot however be distinctly pointed out, since the jealousy of married partners who love each other spiritually, differs from that of married partners who love each other merely naturally, and differs again with those who disagree in minds, and also with those who have subjected their consorts to the yoke of obedience. the jealousies of men and of women considered in themselves are different, because from different origins: the origin of the jealousies of men is in the understanding, whereas of women it is in the will applied to the understanding of the husband: the jealousy of a man therefore, is like a flame of wrath and anger; whereas that of a woman is like a fire variously restrained, by fear, by regard to the husband, by respect to her own love, and by her prudence in not revealing this love to her husband by jealousy: they differ also because wives are loves, and men recipients thereof; and wives are unwilling to squander their love upon the men, but the case is not so with the recipients towards the wives. with the spiritual, however, it is otherwise; with these the jealousy of the man is transferred into the wife, as the love of the wife is transferred into the husband; therefore with each party it appears like itself against the attempts of a violator; but the jealousy of the wife is inspired into the husband against the attempts of the violating harlot, which is like grief weeping, and moving the conscience. * * * * * . to the above i shall add two memorable relations. i was once in much amazement at the great multitude of men who ascribe creation, and consequently whatever is under the sun and above it, to nature; expressing the real sentiments of their hearts as to the visible things of the world, by this question, "what are these but the works of nature?" and when they are asked why they ascribe them to nature and not to god, when nevertheless they occasionally join in the general confession, that god has created nature, and therefore they might as well ascribe creation to god as to nature, they return for answer, with an internal tone of voice, which is scarcely audible, "what is god but nature?" from this persuasion concerning nature as the creator of the universe, and from this folly which has to them the semblance of wisdom, all such persons appear so full of their own importance, that they regard all those who acknowledge the creation of the universe to be from god, as so many ants which creep along the ground and tread in a beaten path, and in some cases as butterflies which fly in the air; ridiculing their opinions as dreams because they see what they do not see, and deciding all by the question, "who has seen god, and who has not seen nature?" while i was thus amazed at the great multitude of such persons, there stood near me an angel, who asked me, "what is the subject of your meditation?" i replied, "it is concerning the great multitude of such as believe that nature created the universe." the angel then said to me, "all hell consists of such persons, who are there called satans and devils; satans, if they have confirmed themselves in favor of nature to the denial of god, and devils, if they have lived wickedly, and thereby rejected all acknowledgement of god from their hearts; but i will lead you to the _gymnasia_, which are in the south-west, where such persons dwell, having not yet departed to their infernal abodes." he took me by the hand and led me there. i saw some small houses, in which were apartments for the studious, and in the midst of them one which served as a principal hall to the rest. it was constructed of a pitchy kind of stone, covered with a sort of glazed plates, that seemed to sparkle with gold and silver, like the stones called _glades mariæ_; and here and there were interspersed shells which glittered in like manner. we approached and knocked at the door, which was presently opened by one who bade us welcome. he then went to the table, and fetched four books, and said, "these books are the wisdom which is at this day the admiration of many kingdoms: this book or wisdom is the admiration of many in france, this of many in germany, this of some in holland, and this of some in england:" he further said, "if you wish to see it, i will cause these four books to shine brightly before your eyes:" he then poured forth and spread around them the glory of his own reputation, and the books presently shone as with light; but this light instantly vanished from our sight. we then asked him what he was now writing? he replied, that he was now about to bring forth from his treasures, and publish to the world, things of inmost wisdom, which would be comprised under these general heads: i. whether nature be derived from life, or life from nature. ii. whether the centre be derived from the expanse, or the expanse from the centre. iii. on the centre and the expanse of nature and of life. having said this, he reclined on a couch at the table; but we walked about in his spacious study. he had a candle on the table, because the light of the sun never shone in that room, but only the nocturnal light of the moon; and what surprised me, the candle seemed to be carried all round the room, and to illuminate it; but, for want of being snuffed, it gave but little light. while he was writing, we saw images in various forms flying from the table towards the walls, which in that nocturnal moon-light appeared like beautiful indian birds; but on opening the door, lo! in the light of the sun they appeared like birds of the evening, with wings like network; for they were semblances of truth made fallacies by being confirmed, which he had ingeniously connected together into series. after attending some time to this sight, we approached the table, and asked him what he was then writing? he replied, "on the first general head, whether nature be derived from life, or life from nature;" and on this question he said, that he could confirm either side, and cause it to be true; but as something lay concealed within which excited his fears, therefore he durst only confirm this side, that nature is of life, that is, from life, but not that life is of nature, that is, from it. we then civilly requested him to tell us, what lay concealed within, which excited his fears? he replied, he was afraid lest he should be called a naturalist, and so an atheist, by the clergy, and a man of unsound reason by the laity; as they both either believe from a blind credulity, or see from the sight of those who confirm that credulity. but just then, being impelled by a kind of indignant zeal for the truth, we addressed him in saying, "friend, you are much deceived; your wisdom, which is only an ingenious talent for writing, has seduced you, and the glory of reputation has led you to confirm what you do not believe. do you know that the human mind is capable of being elevated above sensual things, which are derived into the thoughts from the bodily senses, and that when it is so elevated, it sees the things that are of life above, and those that are of nature beneath? what is life but love and wisdom? and what is nature but their recipient, whereby they may produce their effects or uses? can these possibly be one in any other sense than as principal and instrumental are one? can light be one with the eye, or sound with the ear? whence are the senses of these organs but from life, and their forms but from nature? what is the human body but an organ of life? are not all things therein organically formed to produce the things which the love wills and the understanding thinks? are not the organs of the body from nature, and love and thought from life? and are not those things entirely distinct from each other? raise the penetration of your ingenuity a little, and you will see that it is the property of life to be affected and to think, and that to be affected is from love, and to think is from wisdom, and each is from life; for, as we have said, love and wisdom are life: if you elevate your faculty of understanding a little higher, you will see that no love and wisdom exists, unless its origin be somewhere or other, and that its origin is wisdom itself, and thence life itself, and these are god from whom is nature." afterwards we conversed with him about his second question, whether the centre be of the expanse, or the expanse of the centre; and asked him why he discussed this question? he replied, "with a view to conclude concerning the centre and the expanse of nature and of life, thus concerning the origin of each." and when we asked him what were his sentiments on the subject, he answered, as in the former case, that he could confirm either side, but for fear of suffering in his reputation, he would confirm that the expanse is of the centre, that is, from the centre; although i know, said he, that something existed before the sun, and this in the universe throughout, and that these things flowed together of themselves into order, thus into centres. but here again we addressed him from the overflowing of an indignant zeal, and said, "friend, you are insane." on hearing these words, he drew his couch aside from the table, and looked timidly at us, and then listened to our conversation, but with a smile upon his countenance, while we thus proceeded: "what is a surer proof of insanity, than to say that the centre is from the expanse? by your centre we understand the sun, and by your expanse the universe; and thus, according to you, the universe existed without the sun: but does not the sun make nature, and all its properties, which depend solely on the heat and light proceeding from the sun by the atmospheres? where were those things previous to the sun's existence? but whence they originated we will shew presently. are not the atmospheres and all things which exist on the earth, as surfaces, and the sun their centre? what are they all without the sun; or how could they subsist a single moment in the sun's absence? consequently what were they all before the sun, or how could they subsist? is not subsistence perpetual existence? since therefore all the parts of nature derive their subsistence from the sun, they must of consequence derive also their existence from the same origin: every one sees and is convinced of this truth by the testimony of his own eyes. does not that which is posterior subsist from what is prior, as it exists from what is prior? supposing the surface to be the prior and the centre the posterior, would not the prior in such case subsist from the posterior, which yet is contrary to the laws of order? how can posterior things produce prior, or exterior things produce interior, or grosser things produce purer? consequently, how can surfaces, which constitute the expanse, produce centres? who does not see that this is contrary to the laws of nature? we have adduced these arguments from a rational analysis, to prove that the expanse exists from the centre, and not the centre from the expanse; nevertheless every one who sees aright, sees it to be so without the help of such arguments. you have asserted, that the expanse flowed together of itself into a centre; did it thus flow by chance into so wonderful and stupendous an order, where one thing exists for the sake of another, and everything for the sake of man, and with a view to his eternal life? is it possible that nature from any principle of love, by any principle of wisdom, should provide such things? and can nature make angels of men, and heaven of angels? ponder and consider these things: and your idea of nature existing from nature will fall to the ground." afterwards we questioned him as to his former and present sentiments concerning his third inquiry, relating to the centre and expanse of nature and of like; whether he was of opinion that the centre and expanse of life are the same with the centre and expanse of nature? he replied, that he was in doubt about it, and that he formerly thought that the interior activity of nature is life; and that love and wisdom, which essentially constitute the life of man, are thence derived; and that the sun's fire, by the instrumentality of heat and light, through the mediums of the atmospheres, produce those principles; but that now, from what he had heard concerning the eternal life of men, he began to waver in his sentiments, and that in consequence of such wavering, his mind was sometimes carried upwards, sometimes downwards; and that when it was carried upwards, he acknowledged a centre of which he had before no idea; but when downwards, he saw a centre which he believed to be the only one that existed; and that life is from the centre which before was unknown to him; and nature is from the centre which he before believed to be the only one existing; and that each centre has an expanse around it. to this we said, well, if he would only respect the centre and expanse of nature from the centre and expanse of life, and not contrariwise; and we informed him, that above the angelic heaven there is a sun which is pure love, in appearance very like the sun of the world; and that from the heat which proceeds from that sun, angels and men derive will and love, and from its light they derive understanding and wisdom; and that the things which are of life, are called spiritual and that those which proceed from the sun of the world, are what contain life, and are called natural; also that the expanse of the centre of life is called the spiritual world, which subsists from its sun, and that the expanse of nature is called the natural world, which subsists from its sun. now, since of love and wisdom there cannot be predicated spaces and times, but instead thereof states, it follows, that the expanse around the sun of the angelic heaven is not extended, but still is in the extense of the natural sun, and present with all living subjects therein according to their receptions, which are according to forms. but he then asked, "whence comes the fire of the sun of the world, or of nature?" we replied, that it is derived from the sun of the angelic heaven, which is not fire, but divine love proximately proceeding from god, who is love itself. as he was surprised at this, we thus proved it: "love in its essence is spiritual fire; hence fire in the word, in its spiritual sense, signifies love: it is on this account that priests, when officiating in the temple, pray that heavenly fire may fill their hearts, by which they mean heavenly love: the fire of the altar and of the candlestick in the tabernacle amongst the israelites, represented divine love: the heat of the blood, or the vital heat of men and animals in general is from no other source than love, which constitutes their life: hence it is that a man is enkindled, grows warm, and becomes on fire, while his love is exalted into zeal, anger, and wrath; wherefore from the circumstance, that spiritual heat, which is love, produces natural heat with men, even to the kindling and inflaming of their faces and limbs, it may appear, that the fire of the natural sun has existed from no other source than the fire of the spiritual sun, which is divine love. now, since the expanse originates from the centre, and not the centre from the expanse, as we said above, and the centre of life, which is the sun of the angelic heaven, is divine love proximately proceeding from god, who is in the midst of that sun; and since the expanse of that centre, which is called the spiritual world, is hence derived; and since from that sun existed the sun of the world, and from the latter its expanse, which is called the natural world; it is evident, that the universe was created by one god." with these words we took our leave, and he attended us out of the court of his study, and conversed with us respecting heaven and hell, and the divine government, from a new acuteness of genius. . the second memorable relation. on a time as i was looking around into the world of spirits, i saw at a distance a palace surrounded and as it were besieged by a crowd; i also saw many running towards it. wondering what this could mean, i speedily left the house, and asked one of those who were running, what was the matter at the palace? he replied, that three new comers from the world had been taken up into heaven, and had there seen magnificent things, also maidens and wives of astonishing beauty; and that being let down from heaven they had entered into that palace, and were relating what they had seen; especially that they had beheld such beauties as their eyes had never before seen, or can see, unless illustrated by the light of heavenly _aura_. respecting themselves they said, that in the world they had been orators, from the kingdom of france, and had applied themselves to the study of eloquence, and that now they were seized with a desire of making an oration on the origin of beauty. when this was made known in the neighbourhood, the multitude flocked together to hear them. upon receiving this information, i hastened also myself, and entered the palace, and saw the three men standing in the midst, dressed in long robes of a sapphire color, which, having threads of gold in their texture at every change of posture shone as if they had been golden. they stood ready to speak behind a kind of stage; and presently one of them rose on a step behind the stage, and delivered his sentiments concerning the origin of the beauty of the female sex, in the following words. . "what is the origin of beauty but love, which, when it flows into the eyes of youths, and sets them on becomes beauty? therefore love and beauty are the same thing; for love, from an inmost principle, tinges the face of a marriageable maiden with a kind of flame, from the transparence of which is derived the dawn and bloom of her life. who does not know that the flame emits rays into her eyes, and spreads from these as centres into the countenance, and also descends into the breast, and sets the heart on fire, and thereby affects (a youth), just as a fire with its heat and light affects a person standing near it? that heat is love, and that light is the beauty of love. the whole world is agreed, and firm in the opinion, that every one is lovely and beautiful according to his love: nevertheless the love of the male sex differs from that of the female. male love is the love of growing wise, and female love is that of loving the love of growing wise in the male; so far therefore as a youth is the love of growing wise, so far he is lovely and beautiful to a maiden; and so far as a maiden is the love of a youth's wisdom, so far she is lovely and beautiful to a youth; wherefore as love meets and kisses the love of another, so also do beauties. i conclude therefore, that love forms beauty into a resemblance of itself." . after him arose a second, with a view of discovering, in a neat and elegant speech, the origin of beauty. he expressed himself thus: "i have heard that love is the origin of beauty; but i cannot agree with this opinion. what human being knows what love is? who has ever contemplated it with any idea of thought? who has ever seen it with the eye? let such a one tell me where it is to be found. but i assert that wisdom is the origin of beauty; in women a wisdom which lies concealed and stored up in the inmost principles of the mind, in men a wisdom which manifests itself, and is apparent. whence is a man (_homo_) a man but from wisdom? were it not so, a man would be a statue or a picture. what does a maiden attend to in a youth, but the quality of his wisdom; and what does a youth attend to in a maiden, but the quality of her affection of his wisdom? by wisdom i mean genuine morality; because this is the wisdom of life. hence it is, that when wisdom which lies concealed, approaches and embraces wisdom which is manifest, as is the case interiorly in the spirit of each, they mutually kiss and unite, and this is called love; and in such case each of the parties appears beautiful to the other. in a word, wisdom is like the light or brightness of fire, which impresses itself on the eyes, and thereby forms beauty." . after him the third arose, and spoke to this effect: "it is neither love alone nor wisdom alone, which is the origin of beauty; but it is the union of love and wisdom; the union of love with wisdom in a youth, and the union of wisdom with its love in a maiden: for a maiden does not love wisdom in herself but in a youth, and hence sees him as beauty, and when a youth sees this in a maiden, he then sees her as beauty; therefore love by wisdom forms beauty, and wisdom grounded in love receives it. that this is the case, appears manifestly in heaven. i have there seen maidens and wives, and have attentively considered their beauties, and have observed, that beauty in maidens differs from beauty in wives; in maidens being only the brightness, but in wives the splendor of beauty. the difference appeared like that of a diamond sparkling from light, and of a ruby shining from fire together with light. what is beauty but the delight of the sight? and in what does this delight originate but in the sport of love and wisdom? this sport gives brilliancy to the sight, and this brilliancy vibrates from eye to eye, and presents an exhibition of beauty. what constitutes beauty of countenance, but red and white, and the lovely mixture thereof with each other? and is not the red derived from love, and the white from wisdom? love being red from its fire, and wisdom, white from its light. both these i have clearly seen in the faces of two married partners in heaven; the redness of white in the wife, and the whiteness of red in the husband; and i observed that they shone in consequence of mutually looking at each other." when the third had thus concluded, the assembly applauded and cried out, "he has gained the victory." then on a sudden, a flaming light, which is the light of conjugial love, filled the house with its splendor, and the hearts of the company with satisfaction. * * * * * on the conjunction of conjugial love with the love of infants. . there are evident signs that conjugial love and the love of infants, which is called _storge_, are connected; and there are also signs which may induce a belief that they are not connected; for there is the love of infants with married partners who tenderly love each other, and also with married partners who disagree entirely, and likewise with those who are separated from each other, and in some cases it is more tender and stronger with the latter than the former; but that still the love of infants is always connected with conjugial love, may appear from the origin from which it flows in; for although this origin varies with the recipients, still those loves remain inseparable, just as the first end in the last, which is the effect. the first end of conjugial love is the procreation of offspring, and the last, or the effect, is the offspring procreated. that the first end enters into the effect, and is therein as in its origin, and does not withdraw from it, may be seen from a rational view of the orderly progression of ends and causes to effects. but as the reasonings of the generality commence merely from effects, and from them proceed to some consequences thence resulting, and do not commence from causes, and from them proceed analytically to effects, and so forth; therefore the rational principles of light must needs become the obscure principles of cloud; whence come derivations from truth, arising from appearances and fallacies. but that it may be seen that conjugial love and the love of infants are interiorly connected, although exteriorly disjointed, we will proceed to demonstrate it in the following order. i. _two universal spheres proceed from the lord to preserve the universe in its created state; of which the one is the sphere of procreating, and the other the sphere of protecting the things procreated._ ii. _these two universal spheres make a one with the sphere of conjugial love and the sphere of the love of infants._ iii. _these two spheres universally and singularly flow into all things of heaven, and all things of the world from first to last._ iv. _the sphere of the love of infants is a sphere of protection and support of those who cannot protect and support themselves._ v. _this sphere affects both the evil and the good, and disposes every one to love, protect, and support his offspring from his own love._ vi. _this sphere principally affects the female sex, thus mothers, and the male sex, or fathers, by derivation from them._ vii. _this sphere is also a sphere of innocence and peace from the lord._ viii. _the sphere of innocence flows into infants, and through them into the parents, and affects them._ ix, _it also flows into the souls of the parents, and unites with the same sphere (as operative) with the infants; and it is principally insinuated by means of the touch._ x. _in the degree in which innocence retires from infants, affection and conjunction also abate, and this successively even to separation._ xi. _a state of rational innocence and peace with parents towards infants is grounded on the circumstance, that they know nothing and can do nothing from themselves, but from others, especially from the father and mother; and that this state also successively retires, in proportion as they know and have ability from themselves, and not from others._ xii. _the above sphere advances in order from the end through causes into effects and makes periods; whereby creation is preserved in the state foreseen and provided for._ xiii. _the love of infants descends and does not ascend._ xiv. _wives have one state of love before conception and another after, even to the birth._ xv. _with parents conjugial love is conjoined with the love of infants by spiritual causes, and thence by natural._ xvi. _the love of infants and children is different with spiritual married partners from what it is with natural._ xvii. _with spiritual married partners that love is from what is interior or prior, but with natural from what is exterior or posterior._ xviii. _in consequence hereof that love prevails with married partners who mutually love each other, and also with those who do not at all love each other._ xix. _the love of infants remains after death, especially with women._ xx. _infants are educated under the lord's auspices by such women, and grow in stature and intelligence as in the world._ xxi. _it is there provided by the lord, that with those infants the innocence of infancy becomes the innocence of wisdom, and thus the infants become angels._ we now proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. two universal spheres proceed from the lord to preserve the universe in its created state; of which the one is the sphere of procreating and the other the sphere of protecting the things procreated. the divine which proceeds from the lord is called a sphere, because it goes forth from him, surrounds him, fills both the spiritual and the natural world, and produces the effects of the ends which the lord predestinated in creation, and provides since creation. all that which flows from a subject, and surrounds and environs it, is named a sphere; as in the case of the sphere of light from the sun around it, of the sphere of life from man around him, of the sphere of odor from a plant around it, of the sphere of attraction from the magnet around it, and so forth: but the universal spheres of which we are here treating, are from the lord around him; and they proceed from the sun of the spiritual world, in the midst of which he is. from the lord by means of that sun, proceeds a sphere of heat and light, or what is the same, a sphere of love and wisdom, to produce ends, which are uses; but that sphere according to uses, is distinguished by various names: the divine sphere which looks to the preservation of the universe in its created state by successive generations, is called the sphere of procreating; and the divine sphere which looks to the preservation of generations in their beginnings, and afterwards in their progressions, is called the sphere of protecting the things procreated: besides these two, there are several other divine spheres which are named according to their uses, consequently variously, as may be seen above, n. . the operations of uses by these spheres are the divine providence. . ii. these two universal spheres make a one with the sphere of conjugial love and the sphere of the love of infants. that the sphere of conjugial love makes a one with the sphere of procreating, is evident; for procreation is the end, and conjugial love the mediate cause by which (the end is promoted), and the end and the cause in what is to be effected and in effects, act in unity, because they act together. that the sphere of the love of infants makes a one with the sphere of protecting the things procreated, is also evident, because it is the end proceeding from the foregoing end, which was procreation, and the love of infants is its mediate cause by which it is promoted: for ends advance in a series, one after another, and in their progress the last end becomes the first, and thereby advances further, even to the boundary, in which they subsist or cease. but on this subject more will be seen in the explanation of article xii. . iii. these two spheres universally and singularly flow into all things of heaven and all things of the world, from first to last. it is said universally and singularly, because when mention is made of a universal, the singulars of which it is composed are meant at the same time; for a universal exists from and consists of singulars; thus it takes its name from them, as a whole exists from, consists of, and takes its name from its parts; therefore, if you take away singulars, a universal is only a name, and is like a mere surface which contains nothing: consequently to attribute to god universal government, and to take away singulars, is vain talk and empty preaching: nor is it to the purpose, in this case, to urge a comparison with the universal government of the kings of the earth. from this ground then it is said, that those two spheres flow in universally and singularly. . the reason why the spheres of procreating and of protecting the things procreated, or the spheres of conjugial love and the love of infants, flow into all thing of heaven and all things of the world, from first (principles) to last, is because all things which proceed from the lord, or from the sun which is from him and in which he is, pervade the created universe even to the last of all its principles: the reason of this is, because divine things, which in progression are called celestial and spiritual, have no relation to space and time. that extension cannot be predicated of things spiritual, in consequence of their not having any relation to space and time, is well known: hence whatever proceeds from the lord, is in an instant from first (principles) in last. that the sphere of conjugial love is thus universal may be seen above, n. - . that in like manner the sphere of the love of infants is universal, is evident from that love's prevailing in heaven, where there are infants from the earths; and from that love's prevailing in the world with men, beasts and birds, serpents and insects. something resembling this love prevails also in the vegetable and mineral kingdoms; in the vegetable, in that seeds are guarded by shells or husks as by swaddling clothes, and moreover are in the fruit as in a house, and are nourished with juice as with milk; that there is something similar in minerals, is plain from the matrixes and external covering, in which noble gems and metals are concealed and guarded. . the reason why the sphere of procreating, and the sphere of protecting the things procreated, make a one in a continual series, is, because the love of procreating is continued into the love of what is procreated. the quality of the love of procreating is known from its delight, which is supereminent and transcendent. this love influences the state of procreating with men, and in a remarkable manner the state of reception with women; and this very exalted delight with its love continues even to the birth, and there attains its fulness. . iv. the sphere of the love of infants is a sphere of protection and support of those who cannot protect and support themselves. that the operations of uses from the lord by spheres proceeding from him, are the divine providence, was said above, n. ; this divine providence therefore is meant by the sphere of protection and support of those who cannot protect and support themselves: for it is a law of creation that the things created are to be preserved, guarded, protected, and supported; otherwise the universe would fall to decay: but as this cannot be done immediately from the lord with living creatures, who are left to their own choice, it is done mediately by his love implanted in fathers, mothers, and nurses. that their love is from the lord influencing them, is not known to themselves, because they do not perceive the influx, and still less the lord's omnipresence: but who does not see, that this principle is not of nature, but of the divine providence operating in and by nature; and that such a universal principle cannot exist except from god, by a certain spiritual sun, which is in the centre of the universe, and whose operation, being without space and time, is instant and present from first principles in last? but in what manner that divine operation, which is the lord's divine providence, is received by animate subjects, will be shewn in what follows. that mothers and fathers protect and support infants, because they cannot protect and support themselves, is not the cause of that love, but is a rational cause derived from that love's falling into the understanding; for a man, from this cause alone, without love inspired and inspiring it, or without law and punishment compelling him, would no more than a statue provide for infants. . v. this sphere affects both the evil and the good, and disposes every one to love, protect, and support his offspring from his own love. experience testifies that the love of infants prevails equally with the evil and the good, and in like manner with tame and wild beasts; yea, that in some cases it is stronger and more ardent in its influence on evil men, and also on wild beasts. the reason of this is, because all love proceeding from the lord and flowing into subjects, is changed in the subject into the love of its life; for every animate subject has no other sensation than that its love originates in itself, as it does not perceive the influx; and while also it actually loves itself, it makes the love of infants proper to itself; for it sees as it were itself in them, and them in itself, and itself thus united with them. hence also this love is fiercer with wild beasts, as with lions and lionesses, he and she bears, leopards and leopardesses, he and she wolves, and others of a like nature, than with horses, deer, goats, and sheep; because those wild beasts have dominion over the tame, and hence self-love is predominant, and this loves itself in its offspring; therefore as we said, the influent love is turned into self-love. such an inversion of the influent love into self-love, and the consequent protection and support of the young offspring by evil parents, is of the lord's divine providence; for otherwise there would remain but few of the human race, and none of the savage beasts, which, nevertheless, are of use. from these considerations it is evident, that every one is disposed to love, protect, and support his offspring, from his own love. . vi. this sphere principally affects the female sex, thus mothers and the male sex, or fathers, by derivation from them. this follows from what was said above, in regard to the origin of conjugial love,--that the sphere of conjugial love is received by the women, and through them is transferred to the men: because women are born loves of the understanding of the men, and the understanding is a recipient. the case is the same with the love of infants, because this originates in conjugial love. it is well known that mothers are influenced by a most tender love of infants, and fathers by a love less tender. that the love of infants is inherent in conjugial love, into which women are born, is evident from the amiable and endearing love of girls towards infants, and towards their dolls, which they carry, dress, kiss, and press to their bosoms: boys are not influenced by any such affection. it appears as if mothers derived the love of infants from nourishing them in the womb out of their own blood, and from the consequent appropriation of their life, and thus from sympathetic union: but still this is not the origin of that love; for if another infant, without the mother's knowledge, were to be put after the birth in the place of the genuine infant, the mother would love it with equal tenderness as if it were her own: moreover infants are sometimes loved by their nurses more than by their mothers. from these considerations it follows, that this love is from no other source than from the conjugial love implanted in every woman, to which is joined the love of conceiving; from the delight of which the wife is prepared for reception. this is the first of the above love, which with its delight after the birth passes fully to the offspring. . vii. this sphere is also a sphere of innocence and peace (from the lord). innocence and peace are the two inmost principles of heaven; they are called inmost principles, because they proceed immediately from the lord: for the lord is innocence itself and peace itself. from innocence the lord is called a lamb, and from peace he saith, "_peace i leave you; my peace i give you_," john xiv. ; and he is also meant by the peace with which the disciples were to salute a city or house which they entered; and of which it is said, that if it was worthy, peace would come upon it, and if not worthy, peace would return, matt. x. - . hence also the lord is called the prince of peace, isaiah ix. , . a further reason why innocence and peace are the inmost principles of heaven, is, because innocence is the _esse_ of every good, and peace is the blessed principle of every delight which is of good. see the work on heaven and hell, as to the state of innocence of the angels of heaven, n. - ; and as to peace in heaven, n. - . . viii. the sphere of innocence flows into infants, and through them into the parents, and affects them. it is well known that infants are innocences; but it is not known that their innocence flows in from the lord. it flows in from the lord, because, as was said just above, he is innocence itself; neither can any thing flow in, since it cannot exist except from its first principle, which is it itself. but we will briefly describe the nature and quality of the innocence of infants, which affects parents: it shines forth from their face, from some of their gestures, and from their first speech, and affects them. they have innocence, because they do not think from any interior principle; for they do not as yet know what is good and evil, and what is true and false, as the ground of their thoughts; in consequence of which they have not a prudence originating in selfhood, nor any deliberate purpose; of course they do not regard any evil as an end. they are free from selfhood acquired from self-love and the love of the world; they do not attribute any thing to themselves; they refer to their parents whatever they receive; content with the trifles which are given them as presents, they have no care about food and raiment, or about the future; they do not look to the world, and immerse themselves thereby in the desire of many things; they love their parents, their nurses, and their infant companions, with whom they play in innocence; they suffer themselves to be guided, they harken and obey. this is the innocence of infancy, which is the cause of the love called _storge_. . ix. it also flows in to the souls of the parents, and unites with the same sphere (as operative) with the infants, and it is principally insinuated by means of the touch. the lord's innocence flows into the angels of the third heaven, where all are in the innocence of wisdom, and passes through the inferior heavens, but only through the innocences of the angels therein, and thus immediately and mediately flows into infants. these differ but little from graven forms; but still they are receptible of life from the lord through the heavens. yet, unless the parents also received that influx in their souls, and in the inmost principles of their minds, they would in vain be affected by the innocence of the infants. there must be something adequate and similar in another, whereby communication may be effected, and which may cause reception, affection, and thence conjunction; otherwise it would be like soft seed falling upon a stone, or a lamb exposed to a wolf. from this ground then it is, that innocence flowing into the souls of the parents, unites with the innocence of the infants. experience may shew that, with the parents, this conjunction is effected by the mediation of the bodily senses, but especially by the touch: as that the sight is intimately delighted by seeing them, the hearing by their speech, the smelling by their odor. that the communication and therefore the conjunction of innocence is principally effected by the touch, is evident from the satisfaction of carrying them in the arms, from fondling and kissing them, especially in the case of mothers, who are delighted in laying their mouth and face upon their bosoms, and at the same time in touching the same with the palms of their hands, in general, in giving them milk by suckling them at the breasts, moreover, in stroking their naked body, and the unwearied pains they take in washing and dressing them on their laps. that the communications of love and its delights between married partners are effected by the sense of the touch has been occasionally proved above. the reason why communications of the mind are also effected by the same sense is, because the hands are a man's ultimates, and his first principles are together in the ultimates, whereby also all things of the body and of the mind are kept together in an inseparable connection. hence it is, that jesus touched infants, matt, xviii. - ; mark x. - ; and that he healed the sick by the touch: and that those who touched him were healed: hence also it is, that inaugurations into the priesthood are at this day effected by the laying on of hands. from these considerations it is evident, that the innocence of parents and the innocence of infants meet each other by the touch, especially of the hands, and thereby join themselves together as by kisses. . that innocence produces similar effects with beasts and birds as with men, and that by contact, is well known: the reason of this is, because all that proceeds from the lord, in an instant pervades the universe, as may be seen above, n. - ; and as it proceeds by degrees, and by continual mediations, therefore it passes not only to animals, but also to vegetables and minerals; see n. ; it also passes into the earth itself, which is the mother of all vegetables and minerals; for the earth, in the spring, is in a prepared state for the reception of seeds, as it were in the womb; and when it receives them, it, as it were, conceives, cherishes them, bears, excludes, suckles, nourishes, clothes, educates, guards, and, as it were, loves the offspring derived from them, and so forth. since the sphere of procreation proceeds thus far, how much more must it proceed to animals of every kind, even to worms! that as the earth is the common mother of vegetables, so there is also a common mother of bees in every hive, is a well known tact, confirmed by observation. . x. in the degree in which innocence retires from infants, affection and conjunction also abate, and this successively even to separation. it is well known that the love of infants, or _storge_, retires from parents according as innocence retires from them; and that, in the case of men, it retires even to the separation of children from home, and in the case of beasts and birds, to a rejection from their presence, and a total forgetfulness of relationship. from this circumstance, as an established fact, it may further appear, that innocence flowing in on each side produces the love called _storge_. . xi. a state of rational innocence and peace with parents towards infants, is grounded in the circumstance, that they know nothing and can do nothing from themselves, but from others, especially from the father and mother; and this state successively retires, in proportion as they know and have ability from themselves, and not from others. that the sphere of the love of infants is a sphere of protection and support of those who cannot protect and support themselves, was shewn above in its proper article, n. : that this is only a rational cause with men, but not the very essential cause of that love prevailing with them, was also mentioned in the same article. the real original cause of that love is innocence from the lord, which flows in while the man is ignorant of it, and produces the above rational cause; therefore as the first cause produces a retiring from that love, so also does the second cause at the same time; or what is the same, as the communication of innocence retires, so also the persuading reason accompanies it; but this is the case only with man to the intent that he may do what he does from freedom according to reason, and from this, as from a rational and at the same time a moral law, may support his adult offspring according to the requirements of necessity and usefulness. this second cause does not influence animals who are without reason, they being affected only by the prior cause, which to them is instinct. . xii. the sphere of the love of procreating advances in order from the end through causes into effects, and makes periods; whereby creation is preserved in the state foreseen and provided for. all operations in the universe have a progression from ends through causes into effects. these three are in themselves indivisible, although in idea they appear divided; but still the end, unless the intended effect is seen together with it, is not any thing; nor does either become any thing, unless the cause supports, contrives, and conjoins it. such a progression is inherent in every man in general, and in every particular, altogether as will, understanding, and action: every end in regard to man relates to the will, every cause to the understanding, and every effect to the action; in like manner, every end relates to love, every efficient cause to wisdom, and every effect thence derived to use. the reason of this is, because the receptacle of love is the will, the receptacle of wisdom is the understanding, and the receptacle of use is action: since therefore operations in general and in particular with man advance from the will through the understanding into act, so also do they advance from love through wisdom into use. by wisdom here we mean all that which belongs to judgement and thought. that these three are a one in the effect, is evident. that they also make a one in ideas before the effect, is perceived from the consideration, that determination only intervenes; for in the mind an end goes forth from the will and produces for itself a cause in the understanding, and presents to itself an intention; and intention is as an act before determination; hence it is, that by a wise man, and also by the lord, intention is accepted as an act. what rational person cannot see, or, when he hears, acknowledge, that those three principles flow from some first cause, and that that cause is, that from the lord, the creator and conservator of the universe, there continually proceed love, wisdom, and use, and these three are one? tell, if you can, in what other source they originate. . a similar progression from end through cause into effect belongs also to the sphere of procreating and of protecting the things procreated. the end in this case is the will or love of procreating; the middle cause, by which the end is effected and into which it infuses itself, is conjugial love; the progressive series of efficient causes is the loving, conception, gestation of the embryo or offspring to be procreated; and the effect is the offspring itself procreated. but although end, cause, and effect successively advance as three things, still in the love of procreating, and inwardly in all the causes, and in the effect itself, they make a one. they are the efficient causes only, which advance through times, because in nature; while the end or will, or love, remains continually the same: for ends advance in nature through times without time; but they cannot come forth and manifest themselves, until the effect or use exists and becomes a subject; before this, the love could love only the advance, but could not secure and fix itself. that there are periods of such progressions, and that creation is thereby preserved in the state foreseen and provided for, is well known. but the series of the love of infants from its greatest to its least, thus to the boundary in which it subsists or ceases, is retrograde; since it is according to the decrease of innocence in the subject, and also on account of the periods. . xiii. the love of infants descends, and does not ascend. that it descends from generation to generation, or from sons and daughters to grandsons and granddaughters, and does not ascend from these to fathers and mothers of families, is well known. the cause of its increase in descent is the love of fructifying, or of producing uses, and in respect to the human race, it is the love of multiplying it; but this derives its origin solely from the lord, who, in the multiplication of the human race, regards the conservation of creation, and as the ultimate end thereof, the angelic heaven, which is solely from the human race; and since the angelic heaven is the end of ends, and thence the love of loves with the lord, therefore there is implanted in the souls of men, not only the love of procreating, but also of loving the things procreated in successions: hence also this love exists only with man and not with any beast or bird. that this love with man descends increasing, is in consequence of the glory of honor, which in like manner increases with him according to amplifications. that the love of honor and glory receives into itself the love of infants flowing from the lord, and makes it as it were its own, will be seen in article xvi. . xiv. wives have one state of love before conception and another after, even to the birth. this is adduced to the end that it may be known, that the love of procreating, and the consequent love of what is procreated, is implanted in conjugial love with women, and that with them those two loves are divided, while the end, which is the love of procreating, begins its progression. that the love called _storge_ is then transferred from the wife to the husband; and also that the love of procreating, which, as we said, with a woman makes one with her conjugial love, is then not alike, is evident from several indications. . xv. with parents conjugial love is conjoined with the love of infants by spiritual causes, and thence by natural. the spiritual causes are, that the human race may be multiplied, and from this the angelic heaven enlarged, and that thereby such may be born as will become angels, serving the lord to promote uses in heaven, and by consociation with men also in the earths: for every man has angels associated with him from the lord; and such is his conjunction with them, that if they were taken away, he would instantly die. the natural causes of the conjunction of those two loves are, to effect the birth of those who may promote uses in human societies, and may be incorporated therein as members. that the latter are the natural and the former the spiritual causes of the love of infants and of conjugial love, even married partners themselves think and sometimes declare, saying they have enriched heaven with as many angels as they have had descendants, and have furnished society with as many servants as they have had children. . xvi. the love of children and infants is different with spiritual married partners from what it is with natural. with spiritual married partners the love of infants as to appearance, is like the love of infants with natural married partners; but it is more inward, and thence more tender, because that love exists from innocence, and from a nearer reception of innocence, and thereby a more present preception of it in man's self: for the spiritual are such so far as they partake of innocence. but spiritual fathers and mothers, after they have sipped the sweet of innocence with their infants, love their children very differently from what natural fathers and mothers do. the spiritual love their children from their spiritual intelligence and moral life; thus they love them from the fear of god and actual piety, or the piety of life, and at the same time from affection and application to uses serviceable to society, consequently from the virtues and good morals which they possessed. from the love of these things they are principally led to provide for, and minister to, the necessities of their children; therefore if they do not observe such things in them, they alienate their minds from them and do nothing for them but so far as they think themselves bound in duty. with natural fathers and mothers the love of infants is indeed grounded also in innocence; but when the innocence is received by them, it is entwined around their own love, and consequently the love of their infants from the latter, and at the same time from the former, kissing, embracing, and dangling them, hugging them to their bosoms, and fawning upon and flattering them beyond all bounds, regarding them as one heart and soul with themselves; and afterwards, when they have passed the state of infancy even to boyhood and beyond it, in which state innocence is no longer operative, they love them not from any fear of god and actual piety, or the piety of life, nor from any rational and moral intelligence they may have; neither do they regard, or only very slightly, if at all, their internal affections, and thence their virtues and good morals, but only their externals, which they favor and indulge. to these externals their love is directed and determined: hence also they close their eyes to their vices, excusing, and favoring them. the reason of this is, because with such parents the love of their offspring is also the love of themselves; and this love adheres to the subject outwardly, without entering into it, as self does not enter into itself. . the quality of the love of infants and of the love of children with the spiritual and with the natural, is evidently discerned from them after death; for most fathers, when they come into another life, recollect their children who have died before them; they are also presented to and mutually acknowledge each other. spiritual fathers only look at them, and inquire as to their present state, and rejoice if it is well with them, and grieve if it is ill; and after some conversation, instruction, and admonition respecting moral celestial life, they separate from them, telling them, that they are no longer to be remembered as fathers because the lord is the only father to all in heaven, according to his words, matt. xxiii. : and that they do not at all remember them as children. but natural fathers, when they first become conscious that they are living after death, and recall to mind their children who have died before them, and also when, agreeably to their wishes, they are presented to each other, they instantly embrace, and become united like bundles of rods; and in this case the father is continually delighted with beholding and conversing with them. if the father is told that some of his children are satans, and that they have done injuries to the good, he nevertheless keeps them in a group around him, if he himself sees that they are the occasion of hurt and do mischief, he still pays no attention to it, nor does he separate any of them from association with himself; in order, therefore, to prevent the continuance of such a mischievous company, they are of necessity committed forthwith to hell; and there the father, before the children, is shut up in confinement, and the children are separated, and each is removed to the place of his life. . to the above i will add this wonderful relation:--in the spiritual world i have seen fathers who, from hatred, and as it were rage, had looked at infants presented before their eyes, with a mind so savage, that, if they could, they would have murdered them; but on its being hinted to them, though without truth, that they were their own infants, their rage and savageness instantly subsided, and they loved them to excess. this love and hatred prevail together with those who in the world had been inwardly deceitful, and had set their minds in enmity against the lord. . xvii. with the spiritual that love is from what is interior or prior, but with the natural from what is exterior or posterior. to think and conclude from what is interior or prior, is to think and conclude from ends and causes to effects; but to think and conclude from what is exterior or posterior, is to think and conclude from effects to causes and ends. the latter progression is contrary to order, but the former according to it; for to think and conclude from ends and causes, is to think and conclude from goods and truths, viewed in a superior region of the mind, to effects in an inferior region. real human rationality from creation is of this quality. but to think and conclude from effects, is to think and conclude from an inferior region of the mind, where the sensual things of the body reside with their appearances and fallacies, to guess at causes and effects, which in itself is merely to confirm falsities and concupiscences, and afterwards to see and believe them to be truths of wisdom and goodnesses of the love of wisdom. the case is similar in regard to the love of infants and children with the spiritual and the natural; the spiritual love them from what is prior, thus according to order: but the natural love them from what is posterior, thus contrary to order. these observations are adduced only for the confirmation of the preceding article. . xviii. in consequence hereof that love prevails with married partners who mutually love each other, and also with those who do not at all love each other; consequently it prevails with the natural as well as with the spiritual; but the latter are influenced by conjugial love, whereas the former are influenced by no such love but what is apparent and pretended. the reason why the love of infants and conjugial love still act in unity, is, because, as we have said, conjugial love is implanted in every woman from creation, and together with it the love of procreating, which is determined to and flows into the procreated offspring, and from the women is communicated to the men. hence in houses, in which there is no conjugial love between the man and his wife, it nevertheless is with the wife, and thereby some external conjunction is effected with the man. from this same ground it is, that even harlots love their offspring; for that which from creation is implanted in souls, and respects propagation, is indelible, and cannot be extirpated. . xix. the love of infants remains after death, especially with women. infants, as soon as they are raised up, which happens immediately after their decease, are elevated into heaven, and delivered to angels of the female sex, who in the life of the body in the world loved infants, and at the same time feared god. these, having loved all infants with maternal tenderness, receive them as their own; and the infants in this case, as from an innate feeling, love them as their mothers: as many infants are consigned to them, as they desire from a spiritual _storge_. the heaven in which infants are appears in front in the region of the forehead, in the line in which the angels look directly at the lord. that heaven is so situated, because all infants are educated under the immediate auspices of the lord. there is an influx also into this heaven from the heaven of innocence, which is the third heaven. when they have passed through this first period, they are transferred to another heaven, where they are instructed. . xx. infants are educated under the lord's auspices by such women, and grow in stature and intelligence as in the world. infants in heaven are educated in the following manner; they learn to speak from the female angel who has the charge of their education; their first speech is merely the sound of affection, in which however there is some beginning of thought, whereby what is human in the sound is distinguished from the sound of an animal; this speech gradually becomes more distinct, as ideas derived from affection enter the thought: all their affections, which also increase, proceed from innocence. at first, such things are insinuated into them as appear before their eyes, and are delightful; and as these are from a spiritual origin, heavenly things flow into them at the same time, whereby the interiors of their minds are opened. afterwards, as the infants are perfected in intelligence, so they grow in stature, and viewed in this respect, they appear also more adult, because intelligence and wisdom are essential spiritual nourishment; therefore those things which nourish their minds, also nourish their bodies. infants in heaven, however, do not grow up beyond their first age, where they stop, and remain in it to eternity. and when they are in that age, they are given in marriage, which is provided by the lord, and is celebrated in the heaven of the youth, who presently follows the wife into her heaven, or into her house, if they are of the same society. that i might know of a certainty, that infants grow in stature, and arrive at maturity as they grow in intelligence, i was permitted to speak with some while they were infants, and afterwards when they were grown up; and they appeared as full-grown youths, in a stature, like that of young men full grown in the world. . infants are instructed especially by representatives adequate and suitable to their genius; the great beauty and interior wisdom of which can scarcely be credited in the world. i am permitted to adduce here two representations, from which a judgement may be formed in regard to the rest. on a certain time they represented the lord ascending from the sepulchre, and at the same time the unition of his human with the divine. at first they presented the idea of a sepulchre, but not at the same time the idea of the lord, except so remotely, that it was scarcely, and as it were at a distance, perceived that it was the lord; because in the idea of a sepulchre there is somewhat funereal, which they hereby removed. afterwards they cautiously admitted into the sepulchre a sort of atmosphere, appearing nevertheless as a thin vapor, by which they signified, and this with a suitable degree of remoteness, spiritual life in baptism. they afterwards represented the lord's descent to those who were bound, and his ascent with them into heaven; and in order to accommodate the representation to their infant minds, they let down small cords that were scarcely discernible, exceedingly soft and yielding, to aid the lord in the ascent, being always influenced by a holy fear lest any thing in the representation should affect something that was not under heavenly influence: not to mention other representations, whereby infants are introduced into the knowledges of truth and the affections of good, as by games adapted to their capacities. to these and similar things infants are led by the lord by means of innocence passing through the third heaven; and thus spiritual things are insinuated into their affections, and thence into their tender thoughts, so that they know no other than that they do and think such things from themselves, by which their understanding commences. . xxi. it is there provided by the lord, that with those infants the innocence of infancy becomes the innocence of wisdom (and thus they become angels). many may conjecture that infants remain infants, and become angels immediately after death: but it is intelligence and wisdom that make an angel: therefore so long as infants are without intelligence and wisdom, they are indeed associated with angels, yet are not angels: but they then first become so when they are made intelligent and wise. infants therefore are led from the innocence of infancy to the innocence of wisdom, that is, from external innocence to internal: the latter innocence is the end of all their instruction and progression: therefore when they attain to the innocence of wisdom, the innocence of infancy is adjoined to them, which in the mean time had served them as a plane. i saw a representation of the quality of the innocence of infancy; it was of wood almost without life, and was vivified in proportion as the knowledges of truth and the affections of good were imbibed: and afterwards there was represented the quality of the innocence of wisdom, by a living infant. the angels of the third heaven, who are in a state of innocence from the lord above other angels, appear like naked infants before the eyes of spirits who are beneath the heavens; and as they are wiser than all others, so are they also more truly alive: the reason of this is, because innocence corresponds to infancy, and also to nakedness, therefore it is said of adam and his wife, when they were in a state of innocence, that they were naked and were not ashamed, but that when they had lost their state of innocence, they were ashamed of their nakedness, and hid themselves, gen. ii. ; chap. iii. , , . in a word, the wiser the angels are the more innocent they are. the quality of the innocence of wisdom may in some measure be seen from the innocence of infancy above described, n. , if only instead of parents, the lord be assumed as the father by whom they are led, and to whom they ascribe what they have received. . on the subject of innocence i have often conversed with the angels who have told me that innocence is the _esse_ of every good, and that good is only so far good as it has innocence in it: and, since wisdom is of life and thence of good, that wisdom is only so far wisdom as it partakes of innocence: the like is true of love, charity, and faith; and hence it is that no one can enter heaven unless he has innocence; which is meant by these words of the lord, "_suffer infants to come to me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of the heavens; verily i say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of the heavens as an infant, he will not enter therein_," mark x. , ; luke xviii. , . in this passage, as well as in other parts of the word, infants denote those who are in innocence. the reason why good is good, so far as it has innocence in it, is, because all good is from the lord, and innocence consists in being led by the lord. * * * * * . to the above i shall add this memorable relation. one morning, as i awoke out of sleep, the light beginning to dawn and it being very serene, while i was meditating and not yet quite awake, i saw through the window as it were a flash of lightning, and presently i heard as it were a clap of thunder; and while i was wondering whence this could be, i heard from heaven words to this effect, "there are some not far from you, who are reasoning sharply about god and nature. the vibration of light like lightning, and the clapping of the air like thunder, are correspondences and consequent appearances of the conflict and collision of arguments, on one side in favor of god, and on the other in favor of nature." the cause of this spiritual combat was as follows: there were some satans in hell who expressed a wish to be allowed to converse with the angels of heaven; "for," said they, "we will clearly and fully demonstrate, that what they call god, the creator of all things, is nothing but nature; and thus that god is a mere unmeaning expression, unless nature be meant by it." and as those satans believed this with all their heart and soul, and also were desirous to converse with the angels of heaven, they were permitted to ascend out of the mire and darkness of hell, and to converse with two angels at that time descending from heaven. they were in the world of spirits, which is intermediate between heaven and hell. the satans on seeing the angels there, hastily ran to them, and cried out with a furious voice, "are you the angels of heaven with whom we are allowed to engage in debate, respecting god and nature? you are called wise because you acknowledge a god; but, alas! how simple you are! who sees god? who understands what god is? who conceives that god governs, and can govern the universe, with everything belonging thereto? and who but the vulgar and common herd of mankind acknowledges what he does not see and understand? what is more obvious than that nature is all in all? is it not nature alone that we see with our eyes, hear with our ears, smell with our nostrils, taste with our tongues, and touch and feel with our hands and bodies? and are not our bodily senses the only evidences of truth? who would not swear from them that it is so? are not your heads in nature, and is there any influx into the thoughts of your heads but from nature? take away nature, and can you think at all? not to mention several other considerations of a like kind." on hearing these words the angels replied, "you speak in this manner because you are merely sensual. all in the hells have the ideas of their thoughts immersed in the bodily senses, neither are they able to elevate their minds above them; therefore we excuse you. the life of evil and the consequent belief of what is false have closed the interiors of your minds, so that you are incapable of any elevation above the things of sense, except in a state removed from evils of life, and from false principles of faith: for a satan, as well as an angel, can understand truth when he hears it; but he does not retain it, because evil obliterates truth and induces what is false: but we perceive that you are now in a state of removal from evil, and thus that you can understand the truth which we speak; attend therefore to what we shall say:" and they proceeded thus: "you have been in the natural world, and have departed thence, and are now in the spiritual world. have you known anything till now concerning a life after death? have you not till now denied such a life, and degraded yourselves to the beasts? have you known any thing heretofore about heaven and hell, or the light and heat of this world? or of this circumstance, that you are no longer within the sphere of nature, but above it; since this world and all things belonging to it are spiritual, and spiritual things are above natural, so that not the least of nature can flow into this world? but, in consequence of believing nature to be a god or a goddess, you believe also the light and heat of this world to be the light and heat of the natural world, when yet it is not at all so; for natural light here is darkness, and natural heat is cold. have you known anything about the sun of this world from which our light and heat proceed? have you known that this sun is pure love, and the sun of the natural world pure fire; and the sun of the world, which is pure fire, is that from which nature exists and subsists; and that the sun of heaven, which is pure love, is that from which life itself, which is love with wisdom exists and subsists; and thus that nature, which you make a god or a goddess, is absolutely dead? you can, under the care of a proper guard, ascend with us into heaven; and we also, under similar protection, can descend with you into hell; and in heaven you will see magnificent and splendid objects, but in hell such as are filthy and unclean. the ground of the difference is, because all in the heavens worship god, and all in the hells worship nature; and the magnificent and splendid objects in the heavens are correspondences of the affections of good and truth, and the filthy and unclean objects in the hells are correspondences of the lusts of what is evil and false. judge now, from these circumstances, whether god or nature be all in all." to this the satans replied, "in the state wherein we now are, we can conclude, from what we have heard, that there is a god; but when the delight of evil seizes our minds, we see nothing but nature." these two angels and two satans were standing to the right, at no great distance from me; therefore i saw and heard them; and lo! i saw near them many spirits who had been celebrated in the natural world for their erudition; and i was surprised to observe that those great scholars at one time stood near the angels and at another near the satans, and that they favored the sentiments of those near whom they stood; and i was led to understand that the changes of their situation were changes of the state of their minds, which sometimes favored one side and sometimes the other; for they were _vertumni_. moreover, the angels said, "we will tell you a mystery; on our looking down upon the earth, and examining those who were celebrated for erudition, and who have thought about god and nature from their own judgement, we have found six hundred out of a thousand favorers of nature, and the rest favorers of god; and that these were in favor of god, in consequence of having frequently maintained in their conversation, not from any convictions of their understandings, but only from hear-say, that nature is from god; for frequent conversation from the memory and recollection, and not at the same time from thought and intelligence, induces a species of faith." after this, the satans were entrusted to a guard and ascended with the two angels into heaven, and saw the magnificent and splendid objects contained therein; and being then an illustration from the light of heaven, they acknowledged the being of a god, and that nature was created to be subservient to the life which is in god and from god; and that nature in itself is dead, and consequently does nothing of itself, but is acted upon by life. having seen and perceived these things, they descended: and as they descended the love of evil returned and closed their understanding above and opened it beneath; and then there appeared above it as it were a veil sending forth lightning from infernal fire; and as soon as they touched the earth with their feet, the ground cleaved asunder beneath them, and they returned to their associates. . after these things those two angels seeing me near, said to the by-standers respecting me, "we know that this man has written about god and nature; let us hear what he has written." they therefore came to me, and intreated that what i had written about god and nature might be read to them: i therefore read as follows. "those who believe in a divine operation in everything of nature, may confirm themselves in favor of the divine, from many things which they see in nature, equally, yea more than those who confirm themselves in favor of nature: for those who confirm themselves in favor of the divine, attend to the wonderful things, which are conspicuous in the productions of both vegetables and animals:--in the production of vegetables, that from a small seed sown in the earth there is sent forth a root, by means of the root a stem, and successively buds, leaves, flowers, fruits, even to new seeds; altogether as if the seed was acquainted with the order of succession, or the process by which it was to renew itself. what rational person can conceive, that the sun which is pure fire, is acquainted with this, or that it can endue its heat and light with a power to effect such things; and further, that it can form wonderful things therein, and intend use? when a man of elevated reason sees and considers such things, he cannot think otherwise than that they are from him who has infinite wisdom, consequently from god. those who acknowledge the divine, also see and think so; but those who do not acknowledge it, do not see and think so, because they are unwilling; and thereby they let down their rational principle into the sensual, which derives all its ideas from the luminous principle in which the bodily senses are, and confirms their fallacies urging, 'do not you see the sun effecting these things by its heat and light? what is that which you do not see?' is it anything? those who confirm themselves in favor of the divine, attend to the wonderful things which are conspicuous in the productions of animals; to mention only what is conspicuous in eggs, that there lies concealed in them a chick in its seed, or first principles of existence, with everything requisite even to the hatching, and likewise to every part of its progress after hatching, until it becomes a bird, or winged animal, in the form of its parent stock. a farther attention to the nature and quality of the form cannot fail to cause astonishment in the contemplative mind; to observe in the least as well as in the largest kinds, yea, in the invisible as in the visible, that is, in small insects, as in fowls or great beasts, how they are all endowed with organs of sense, such as seeing, smelling, tasting, touching; and also with organs of motion, such as muscles, for they fly and walk; and likewise with viscera, around the heart and lungs, which are actuated by the brains: that the commonest insects enjoy all these parts of organization is known from their anatomy, as described by some writers, especially swammerdam in his books of nature. those who ascribe all things to nature do indeed see such things; but they think only that they are so, and say that nature produces them: and this they say in consequence of having averted their minds from thinking about the divine; and those who have so averted their minds, when they see the wonderful things in nature, cannot think rationally, and still less spiritually; but they think sensually and materially, and in this case they think in and from nature, and not above it, in like manner as those do who are in hell; differing from beasts only in this respect, that they have rational powers, that is, they are capable of understanding, and thereby of thinking otherwise, if only they are willing. those who have averted themselves from thinking about the divine, when they see the wonderful things in nature, and thereby become sensual, do not consider that the sight of the eye is so gross that it sees several small insects as one confused mass; when yet each of them is organized to feel and to move itself, consequently is endowed with fibres and vessels, also with a little heart, pulmonary pipes, small viscera, and brains; and that the contexture of these parts consists of the purest principles in nature, and corresponds to some life, by virtue of which their minutest parts are distinctly acted upon. since the sight of the eye is so gross that several of such insects, with the innumerable things in each, appear to it as a small confused mass, and yet those who are sensual, think and judge from that sight, it is evident how gross their minds are, and consequently in what thick darkness they are respecting spiritual things. . "every one that is willing to do so, may confirm himself in favor of the divine from the visible things in nature; and he also who thinks of god from the principle of life, does so confirm himself; while, for instance, he observes the fowls of heaven, how each species of them knows its proper food and where it is to be found; how they can distinguish those of their own kind by the sounds they utter and by their external appearance; how also, among other kinds, they can tell which are their friends and which their foes; how they pair together, build their nests with great art, lay therein their eggs, hatch them, know the time of hatching, and at its accomplishment help their young out of the shell, love them most tenderly, cherish them under their wings, feed and nourish them, until they are able to provide for themselves and do the like, and to procreate a family in order to perpetuate their kind. every one that is willing to think of a divine influx through the spiritual world into the natural, may discern it in these instances, and may also, if he will, say in his heart, 'such knowledges cannot flow into those animals from the sun by the rays of its light:' for the sun, from which nature derives its birth and its essence, its pure fire, and consequently the rays of its light are altogether dead; and thus they may conclude, that such effects are derived from an influx of divine wisdom into the ultimates of nature. . "every one may confirm himself in favor of the divine from what is visible in nature, while he observes worms, which from the delight of a certain desire, wish and long after a change of their earthly state into a state analogous to a heavenly one; for this purpose they creep into holes, and cast themselves as it were into a womb that they may be born again, and there become chrysalises, aurelias, nymphs, and at length butterflies; and when they have undergone this change, and according to their species are decked with beautiful wings, they fly into the air as into their heaven, and there indulge in all festive sports, pair together, lay their eggs, and provide for themselves a posterity; and then they are nourished with a sweet and pleasant food, which they extract from flowers. who that confirms himself in favor of the divine from what is visible in nature, does not see some image of the earthly state of man in these animals while they are worms, and of his heavenly state in the same when they become butterflies? whereas those who confirm themselves in favor of nature, see indeed such things; but as they have rejected from their minds all thought of man's heavenly state, they call them mere instincts of nature. . "again, everyone may confirm himself in favor of the divine from what is visible in nature, while he attends to the discoveries made respecting bees,--how they have the art to gather wax and suck honey from herbs and flowers, and build cells like small houses, and arrange them into the form of a city with streets, through which they come in and go out; and how they can smell flowers and herbs at a distance, from which they may collect wax for their home and honey for their food; and how, when laden with these treasures, they can trace their way back in a right direction to their hive; thus they provide for themselves food and habitation against the approaching winter, as if they were acquainted with and foresaw its coming. they also set over themselves a mistress as a queen, to be the parent of a future race, and for her they build as it were a palace in an elevated situation, and appoint guards about her; and when the time comes for her to become a mother, she goes from cell to cell and lays her eggs, which her attendants cover with a sort of ointment to prevent their receiving injury from the air; hence arises a new generation, which, when old enough to provide in like manner for itself, is driven out from home; and when driven out, it flies forth to seek a new habitation, not however till it has first collected itself into a swarm to prevent dissociation. about autumn also the useless drones are brought forth and deprived of their wings, lest they should return and consume the provision which they had taken no pains to collect; not to mention many other circumstances; from which it may appear evident, that on account of the use which they afford to mankind, they have by influx from the spiritual world a form of government, such as prevails among men in the world, yea, among angels in the heavens. what man of uncorrupted reason does not see that such instincts are not communicated to bees from the natural world? what has the sun, in which nature originates, in common with a form of government which vies with and is similar to a heavenly one? from these and similar circumstances respecting brute animals, the confessor and worshiper of nature confirms himself in favor of nature, while the confessor and worshiper of god, from the same circumstances, confirms himself in favor of the divine: for the spiritual man sees spiritual things therein, and the natural man natural; thus every one according to his quality. in regard to myself, such circumstances have been to me testimonies of an influx of what is spiritual into what is natural, or of an influx of the spiritual world into the natural world; thus of an influx from the divine wisdom of the lord. consider also, whether you can think analytically of any form of government, any civil law, any moral virtue, or any spiritual truth, unless the divine flows in from his wisdom through the spiritual world: for my own part, i never did, and still feel it to be impossible; for i have perceptibly and sensibly observed such influx now ( ) for twenty-five years continually: i therefore speak this from experience. . "can nature, let me ask, regard use as an end, and dispose uses into orders and forms? this is in the power of none but a wise being; and none but god, who is infinitely wise, can so order and form the universe. who else can foresee and provide for mankind all the things necessary for their food and clothing, producing them from the fruits of the earth and from animals? it is surely a wonderful consideration among many others, that those common insects, called silk-worms, should supply with splendid clothing all ranks of persons, from kings and queens even to the lowest servants; and that those common insects the bees, should supply wax to enlighten both our temples and palaces. these, with several other similar considerations, are standing proofs, that the lord by an operation from himself through the spiritual world, effects whatever is done in nature. . "it may be expedient here to add, that i have seen in the spiritual world those who had confirmed themselves in favor of nature by what is visible in this world, so as to become atheists, and that their understanding in spiritual light appeared open beneath but closed above, because with their thinking faculty they had looked downwards to the earth and not upwards to heaven. the super-sensual principle, which is the lowest principle of the understanding, appeared as a veil, in some cases sparkling from infernal fire, in some black as soot, and in some pale and livid as a corpse. let every one therefore beware of confirmation in favor of nature, and let him confirm himself in favor of the divine; for which confirmation there is no want of materials. . "some indeed are to be excused for ascribing certain visible effects to nature, because they have had no knowledge respecting the sun of the spiritual world, where the lord is, and of influx thence; neither have they known any thing about that world and its state, nor yet of its presence with man; and consequently they could think no other than that the spiritual principle was a purer natural principle; and thus that angels were either in the ether or in the stars; also that the devil was either man's evil, or, if he actually existed, that he was either in the air or in the deep; also that the souls of men after death were either in the inmost part of the earth, or in some place of confinement till the day of judgement; not to mention other like conceits, which sprung from ignorance of the spiritual world and its sun. this is the reason why those are to be excused, who have believed that the visible productions of nature are the effect of some principle implanted in her from creation: nevertheless those who have made themselves atheists by confirmations in favor of nature, are not to be excused, because they might have confirmed themselves in favor of the divine. ignorance indeed excuses, but does not take away the false principle which is confirmed; for this false principle agrees with evil, and evil with hell." adulterous love and its sinful pleasures. on the opposition of adulterous love and conjugial love. . at the entrance upon our subject, it may be expedient to declare what we mean in this chapter by adulterous love. by adulterous love we do not mean fornicatory love, which precedes marriage, or which follows it after the death of a married partner; neither do we mean concubinage, which is engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and excusatory; nor do we mean either the mild or the grievous kinds of adultery, whereof a man actually repents; for the latter become not opposite, and the former are not opposite, to conjugial love, as will be seen in the following pages, where each is treated of. but by adulterous love, opposite to conjugial love, we here mean the love of adultery, so long as it is such as not to be regarded as sin, or as evil, and dishonorable, and contrary to reason, but as allowable with reason. this adulterous love not only makes conjugial love the same with itself, but also overthrows, destroys, and at length nauseates it. the opposition of this love to conjugial love is the subject treated of in this chapter. that no other love is treated of (as being in such opposition), may be evident from what follows concerning fornication, concubinage, and the various kinds of adultery. but in order that this opposition may be made manifest to the rational sight, it may be expedient to demonstrate it in the following series: i. _it is not known what adulterous love is, unless it be known what conjugial love is._ ii. _adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love._ iii. _adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, as the natural man viewed in himself is opposed to the spiritual man._ iv. _adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, as the connubial connection of what is evil and false is opposed to the marriage of good and truth._ v. _hence adulterous love in opposed to conjugial love, as hell is opposed to heaven._ vi. _the impurity of hell is from adulterous love, and the purity of heaven from conjugial love._ vii. _the impurity and the purity in the church are similarly circumstanced._ viii. _adulterous love more and more makes a man not a man (homo), and not a man (vir), and conjugial love makes a man more and more a man (homo), and a man (vir)._ ix. _there are a sphere of adulterous love and a sphere of conjugial love._ x. _the sphere of adulterous love ascends from hell, and the sphere of conjugial love descends from heaven._ xi. _those two spheres mutually meet each other in each world; but they do not unite._ xii. _between those two spheres there is an equilibrium, and man is in it._ xiii. _a man is able to turn himself to whichever he pleases; but so far as he turns himself to the one, so far he turns himself from the other._ xiv. _each sphere brings with it delights._ xv. _the delights of adulterous love commence from the flesh and are of the flesh even in the spirit; but the delights of conjugial love commence in the spirit, and are of the spirit even in the flesh._ xvi. _the delights of adulterous love are the pleasures of insanity; but the delights of conjugial love are the delights of wisdom._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. it is not known what adulterous love is, unless it be known what conjugial love is. by adulterous love we mean the love of adultery, which destroys conjugial love, as above, n. . that it is not known what adulterous love is, unless it be known what conjugial love is, needs no demonstration, but only illustration by similitudes: as for example, who can know what is evil and false, unless he know what is good and true? and who knows what is unchaste, dishonorable, unbecoming, and ugly, unless he knows what is chaste, honorable, becoming, and beautiful? and who can discern the various kinds of insanity, but he that is wise, or that knows what wisdom is? also, who can rightly perceive discordant and grating sounds, but he that is well versed in the doctrine and study of harmonious numbers? in like manner, who can clearly discern what is the quality of adultery, unless he has first clearly discerned what is the quality of marriage? and who can make a just estimate of the filthiness of the pleasures of adulterous love, but he that has first made a just estimate of the purity of conjugial love? as i have now completed the treatise on conjugial love and its chaste delights, i am enabled, from the intelligence i thence acquired, to describe the pleasures respecting adulterous love. . ii. adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love. every thing in the universe has its opposite; and opposites, in regard to each other, are not relatives, but contraries. relatives are what exist between the greatest and the least of the same thing; whereas contraries arise from an opposite in contrariety thereto; and the latter are relatives in regard to each other, as the former are in their regard one to another; wherefore also the relations themselves are opposites. that all things have their opposites, is evident from light, heat, the times of the world, affections, perceptions, sensations, and several other things. the opposite of light is darkness; the opposite of heat is cold; of the times of the world the opposites are day and night, summer and winter; of affections the opposites are joys and mourning, also gladnesses and sadnesses; of perceptions the opposites are goods and evils, also truths and falses; and of sensations the opposites are things delightful and things undelightful. hence it may be evidently concluded, that conjugial love has its opposite; this opposite is adultery, as every one may see, if he be so disposed, from all the dictates of sound reason. tell, if you can, what else is its opposite. it is an additional evidence in favor of this position, that as sound reason was enabled to see the truth of it by her own light, therefore she has enacted laws, which are called laws of civil justice, in favor of marriages and against adulteries. that the truth of this position may appear yet more manifest, i may relate what i have very often seen in the spiritual world. when those who in the natural world have been confirmed adulterers, perceive a sphere of conjugial love flowing down from heaven, they instantly either flee away into caverns and hide themselves, or, if they persist obstinately in contrariety to it, they grow fierce with rage, and become like furies. the reason why they are so affected is, because all things of the affections, whether delightful or undelightful, are perceived in that world, and on some occasions as clearly as an odor is perceived by the sense of smelling; for the inhabitants of that world have not a material body, which absorbs such things. the reason why the opposition of adulterous love and conjugial love is unknown to many in the world, is owing to the delights of the flesh, which, in the extremes, seem to imitate the delights of conjugial love; and those who are in delights only, do not know anything respecting that opposition; and i can venture to say, that should you assert, that everything has its opposite, and should conclude that conjugial love also has its opposite, adulterers will reply, that that love has not an opposite, because adulterous love cannot be distinguished from it; from which circumstance it is further manifest, that he that does not know what conjugial love is, does not know what adulterous love is; and moreover, that from adulterous love it is not known what conjugial love is, but from conjugial love it is known what adulterous love is. no one knows good from evil, but evil from good; for evil is in darkness, whereas good is in light. . iii. adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, as the natural man viewed in himself is opposed to the spiritual man. that the natural man and the spiritual are opposed to each other, so that the one does not will what the other wills, yea, that they are at strife together, is well known in the church; but still it has not heretofore been explained. we will therefore shew what is the ground of discrimination between the spiritual man and the natural, and what excites the latter against the former. the natural man is that into which every one is first introduced as he grows up, which is effected by sciences and knowledges, and by rational principles of the understanding; but the spiritual man is that into which he is introduced by the love of doing uses, which love is also called charity: wherefore so far as any one is in charity, so far he is spiritual; but so far as he is not in charity, so far he is natural, even supposing him to be ever so quick-sighted in genius, and wise in judgement. that the latter, the natural man, separate from the spiritual, notwithstanding all his elevation into the light of reason, still gives himself without restraint to the government of his lusts, and is devoted to them, is manifest from his genius alone, in that he is void of charity; and whoever is void of charity, gives loose to all the lasciviousness of adulterous love: wherefore, when he is told, that this wanton love is opposed to chaste conjugial love, and is asked to consult his rational _lumen_, he still does not consult it, except in conjunction with the delight of evil implanted from birth in the natural man; in consequence whereof he concludes, that his reason does not see anything contrary to the pleasing sensual allurements of the body; and when he has confirmed himself in those allurements, his reason is in amazement at all those pleasures which are proclaimed respecting conjugial love; yea, as was said above, he fights against them, and conquers, and, like a conqueror after the enemy's overthrow, he utterly destroys the camp of conjugial love in himself. these things are done by the natural man from the impulse of his adulterous love. we mention these circumstances, in order that it may be known, what is the true ground of the opposition of those two loves; for, as has been abundantly shewn above, conjugial love viewed in itself is spiritual love, and adulterous love viewed in itself is natural love. . iv. adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, as the connubial connection of what is evil and false is opposed to the marriage of good and truth. that the origin of conjugial love is from the marriage of good and truth, was demonstrated above in its proper chapter, from n. - ; hence it follows, that the origin of adulterous love is from the connubial connection of what is evil and false, and that hence they are opposite loves, as evil is opposed to good, and the false of evil to the truth of good. it is the delights of each love which are thus opposed; for love without its delight is not anything. that these delights are thus opposed to each other, does not at all appear: the reason why it does not appear is, because the delight of the love of evil in externals assumes a semblance of the delight of the love of good; but in internals the delight of the love of evil consists of mere concupiscences of evil, evil itself being the conglobated mass (or glome) of those concupiscences: whereas the delight of the love of good consists of innumerable affections of good, good itself being the co-united bundle of those affections. this bundle and that glome are felt by man only as one delight; and as the delight of evil in externals assumes a semblance of the delight of good, as we have said, therefore also the delight of adultery assumes a semblance of the delight of marriage; but after death, when everyone lays aside externals, and the internals are laid bare, then it manifestly appears, that the evil of adultery is a glome of the concupiscences of evil, and the good of marriage is a bundle of the affections of good: thus that they are entirely opposed to each other. . in reference to the connubial connection of what is evil and false, it is to be observed, that evil loves the false, and desires that it may be a one with itself, and they also unite; in like manner as good loves truth, and desires that it may be a one with itself, and they also unite: from which consideration it is evident, that as the spiritual origin of marriage is the marriage of good and truth, so the spiritual origin of adultery is the connubial connection of what is evil and false. hence, this connubial connection is meant by adulteries, whoredoms, and fornications, in the spiritual sense of the word; see the apocalypse revealed, n. . it is from this principle, that he that is in evil, and connects himself connubially with what is false, and he that is in what is false, and draws evil into a partnership of his chamber, from the joint covenant confirms adultery, and commits it so far as he dares and has the opportunity; he confirms it from evil by what is false, and he commits it from what is false by evil: and also on the other hand, that he that is in good, and marries truth, or he that is in truth, and brings good into partnership of the chamber with himself, confirms himself against adultery, and in favor of marriage, and attains to a happy conjugial life. . v. hence adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love as hell is opposed to heaven. all who are in hell are in the connubial connection of what is evil and false, and all who are in heaven are in the marriage of good and truth; and as the connubial connection of what is evil and false is also adultery, as was shewn just above, n. , , hell is also that connubial connection. hence all who are in hell are in the lust, lasciviousness, and immodesty of adulterous love, and shun and dread the chastity and modesty of conjugial love; see above, n. . from these considerations it may be seen, that those two loves, adulterous and conjugial, are opposed to each other, as hell is to heaven, and heaven to hell. . vi. the impurity of hell is from adulterous love, and the purity of heaven from conjugial love. all hell abounds with impurities, all of which originate in immodest and obscene adulterous love, the delights of that love being changed into such impurities. who can believe, that in the spiritual world, every delight of love is presented to the sight under various appearances, to the sense under various odors, and to the view under various forms of beasts and birds? the appearances under which in hell the lascivious delights of adulterous love are presented to the sight, are dunghills and mire; the odors by which they are presented to the sense, are stinks and stenches; and the forms of beasts and birds under which they are presented to the view, are hogs, serpents, and the birds called ochim and tziim. the case is reversed in regard to the chaste delights of conjugial love in heaven. the appearances under which those delights are presented to the sight, are gardens and flowery fields; the odors whereby they are presented to the sense, are the perfumes arising from fruits and the fragrancies from flowers; and the forms of animals under which they are presented to the view are lambs, kids, turtle-doves, and birds of paradise. the reason why the delights of love are changed into such and similar things is, because all things which exist in the spiritual world are correspondences: into these correspondences the internals of the minds of the inhabitants are changed, while they pass away and become external before the senses. but it is to be observed, that there are innumerable varieties of impurities, into which the lasciviousnesses of whoredoms are changed, while they pass off into their correspondences: these varieties are according to the genera and species of those lasciviousnesses, as may be seen in the following pages, where adulteries and their degrees are treated of: such impurities however do not proceed from the delights of the love of those who have repented; because they have been washed from them during their abode in the world. . vii. the impurity and the purity in the church are similarly circumstanced. the reason of this is, because the church is the lord's kingdom in the world, corresponding to his kingdom in the heavens; and also the lord conjoins them together, that they may make a one; for he distinguishes those who are in the world, as he distinguishes heaven and hell, according to their loves. those who are in the immodest and obscene delights of adulterous love, associate to themselves similar spirits from hell: whereas those who are in the modest and chaste delights of conjugial love, are associated by the lord to similar angels from heaven. while these their angels, in their attendance on man, are stationed near to confirmed and determined adulterers, they are made sensible of the direful stenches mentioned above, n. , and recede a little. on account of the correspondence of filthy loves with dunghills and bogs, it was commanded the sons of israel, "that they should carry with them a paddle with which to cover their excrement, lest jehovah god walking in the midst of their camp should see the nakedness of the thing, and should return," deut, xxiii. , . this was commanded, because the camp of the sons of israel represented the church, and those unclean things corresponded to the lascivious principles of whoredoms, and by jehovah god's walking in the midst of their camp was signified his presence with the angels. the reason why they were to cover it was, because all those places in hell, where troops of such spirits have their abode, were covered and closed up, on which account also it is said, "lest he see the nakedness of the thing." it has been granted me to see that all those places in hell are closed up, and also that when they were opened, as was the case when a new demon entered, such a horrid stench issued from them, that it infested my belly with its noisomeness; and what is wonderful, those stenches are to the inhabitants as delightful as dunghills are to swine. from these considerations it is evident, how it is to be understood, that the impurity in the church is from adulterous love, and its purity from conjugial love. . viii. adulterous love more and more makes a man (homo) not a man (homo), and a man (vir) not a man (vir), and conjugial love makes a man (homo) more and more a man (homo), and a man (vir). that conjugial love makes a man (_homo_) is illustrated and confirmed by all the considerations which were clearly and rationally demonstrated in the first part of this work, concerning love and the delights of its wisdom; as . that he that is principled in love truly conjugial, becomes more and more spiritual; and in proportion as any one is more spiritual, in the same proportion he is more a man (_homo_). . that he becomes more and more wise; and the wiser any one is, so much the more is he a man (_homo_). . that with such a one the interiors of the mind are more and more opened, insomuch that he sees or intuitively acknowledges the lord; and the more any one is in the sight or acknowledgement, the more he is a man. . that he becomes more and more moral and civil, inasmuch as a spiritual soul is in his morality and civility; and the more any one is morally civil, the more he is a man. . that also after death he becomes an angel of heaven; and an angel is in essence and form a man; and also the genuine human principle in his face shines forth from his conversation and manners: from these considerations it is manifest, that conjugial love makes a man (_homo_) more and more a man (_homo_). that the contrary is the case with adulterers, follows as a consequence from the opposition of adultery and marriage, which is the subject treated of in this chapter; as, . that they are not spiritual but in the highest degree natural; and the natural man separate from the spiritual man, is a man only as to the understanding, but not as to the will: this he immerses in the body and the concupiscences of the flesh, and at those times the understanding also accompanies it. that such a one is but half a man (_homo_), he himself may see from the reason of his understanding, in ease he elevates it. . that adulterers are not wise, except in their conversation and behaviour, when they are in the company of such as are in high station, or as are distinguished for their learning or their morals; but that when alone with themselves they are insane, setting at nought the divine and holy things of the church, and defiling the morals of life with immodest and unchaste principles, will be shewn in the chapter concerning adulteries. who does not see that such gesticulators are men only as to external figure, and not as to internal form? . that adulterers become more and more not men, has been abundantly confirmed to me by what i have myself been eye-witness to respecting them in hell: for there they are demons, and when seen in the light of heaven, appear to have their faces full of pimples, their bodies bunched out, their voice rough, and their gestures antic. but it is to be observed, that such are determined and confirmed adulterers, but not non-deliberate adulterers: for in the chapter concerning adulteries and their degrees, four kinds are treated of. determined adulterers are those who are so from the lust of the will; confirmed adulterers are those who are so from the persuasion of the understanding; deliberate adulterers are those who are so from the allurements of the senses; and non deliberate adulterers are those who have not the faculty or the liberty of consulting the understanding. the two former kinds of adulterers are those who become more and more not men; whereas the two latter kinds become men as they recede from those errors, and afterwards become wise. . that conjugial love makes a man (_homo_) more a man (_vir_), is also illustrated by what was adduced in the preceding part concerning conjugial love and its delights; as, . that the virile faculty and power accompanies wisdom, as this is animated from the spiritual things of the church, and that hence it resides in conjugial love; and that the wisdom of this love opens a vein from its fountain in the soul, and thereby invigorates, and also blesses with permanence, to the intellectual life, which is the very essential masculine life. . that hence it is, that the angels of heaven are in this permanence to eternity, according to their own declarations in the memorable relation, n. , . that the most ancient men in the golden and silver ages, were in permanent efficacy, because they loved the caresses of their wives, and abhorred the caresses of harlots, i have heard from their own mouths; see the memorable relations, n. , . that that spiritual sufficiency is also in the natural principle, and will not be wanting to those at this day, who come to the lord, and abominate adulteries as infernal, has been told me from heaven. but the contrary befalls determined and confirmed adulterers who are treated of above, n. . that the virile faculty and power with such is weakened even till it ceases; and that after this there commences cold towards the sex; and that cold is succeeded by a kind of fastidiousness approaching to loathing, is well known, although but little talked of. that this is the case with such adulterers in hell, i have heard at a distance, from the sirens, who are obsolete venereal lusts, and also from the harlots there. from these considerations it follows, that adulterous love makes a man (_homo_) more and more not a man (_homo_) and not a man (_vir_) and that conjugial love makes a man more and more a man (_homo_) and a man (_vir_). . ix. there are a sphere of adulterous love and a sphere of conjugial love. what is meant by spheres, and that they are various, and that those which are of love and wisdom proceed from the lord, and through the angelic heavens descend into the world, and pervade it even to its ultimates, was shewn above, n. - ; and n. - . that every thing in the universe has its opposites, may be seen above, n. : hence it follows, that whereas there is a sphere of conjugial love, there is also a sphere opposite to it, which is called a sphere of adulterous love; for those spheres are opposed to each other, as the love of adultery is opposed the love of marriage. this opposition has been treated of in the preceding parts of this chapter. . x. the sphere of adulterous love ascends from hell, and the sphere of conjugial love descends from heaven. that the sphere of conjugial love descends from heaven, was shewn in the places cited just above, n. ; but the reason why the sphere of adulterous love ascends from hell, is, because this love is from thence, see n. . that sphere ascends thence from the impurities into which the delights of adultery are changed with those who are of each sex there; concerning which delight see above, n. , . . xi. those two spheres meet each other in each world; but they do not unite. by each world is meant the spiritual world and the natural world. in the spiritual world those spheres meet each other in the world of spirits, because this is the medium between heaven and hell; but in the natural world they meet each other in the rational plane appertaining to man, which also is the medium between heaven and hell: for the marriage of good and truth flows into it from above, and the marriage of evil and the false flows into it from beneath. the latter marriage flows in through the world, but the former through heaven. hence it is, that the human rational principle can turn itself to either side as it pleases, and receive influx. if it turns to good, it receives it from above; and in this case the man's rational principle is formed more and more to the reception of heaven; but if it turns itself to evil, it receives that influx from beneath; and in this case the man's rational principle is formed more and more to the reception of hell. the reason why those two spheres do not unite, is, because they are opposites; and an opposite acts upon an opposite like enemies, one of whom, burning with deadly hatred, furiously assaults the other, while the other is in no hatred, but only endeavours to defend himself. from these considerations it is evident, that those two spheres only meet each other, but do not unite. the middle interstice, which they make, is on the one part from the evil not of the false, and from the false not of the evil, and on the other part from good not of truth, and from truth not of good: which two may indeed touch each other, but still they do not unite. . xii. between those two spheres there is an equilibrium, and man is in it. the equilibrium between them is a spiritual equilibrium, because it is between good and evil; from this equilibrium a man has free will, in and by which he thinks and wills, and hence speaks and acts as from himself. his rational principle consists in his having the option to receive either good or evil; consequently, whether he will freely and rationally dispose himself to conjugial love, or to adulterous love; if to the latter, he turns the hinder part of the head, and the back to the lord; if to the former, he turns the fore part of the head and the breast to the lord; if to the lord, his rationality and liberty are led by himself; but if backwards from the lord, his rationality and liberty are led by hell. . xiii. a man can turn himself to whichever sphere he pleases; but so far as he turns himself to the one, so far he turns himself from the other. man was created so that he may do whatever he does freely, according to reason, and altogether as from himself: without these two faculties he would not be a man but a beast; for he would not receive any thing flowing from heaven, and appropriate it to himself as his own, and consequently it would not be possible for anything of eternal life to be inscribed on him; for this must be inscribed on him as his, in order that it may be his own; and whereas there is no freedom on the one part, unless there be also a like freedom on the other, as it would be impossible to weigh a thing, unless the scales from an equilibrium could incline to either side: so, unless a man had liberty from reason to draw near also to evil, thus to turn from the right to the left, and from the left to the right, in like manner to the infernal sphere, which is that of adultery, as to the celestial sphere, which is that of marriage, (it would be impossible for him to receive any thing flowing from heaven, and to appropriate it to himself.) . xiv. each sphere brings with it delights; that is, both the sphere of adulterous love which ascends from hell, and the sphere of conjugial love which descends from heaven, affects the recipient man (_homo_) with delights; because the ultimate plane in which the delights of each love terminate, and where they fill and complete themselves, and which exhibits them in their own proper sensory, is the same. hence, in the extremes, adulterous caresses and conjugial caresses are perceived as similar, although in internals they are altogether dissimilar; that hence they are also dissimilar in the extremes, is a point not decided from any sense of discrimination; for dissimilitudes are not made sensible from their discriminations in the extremes, to any others than those who are principled in love truly conjugial; for evil is known from good, but not good from evil; so neither is a sweet scent perceived by the nose when a disagreeable one is present in it. i have heard from the angels, that they distinguish in the extremes what is lascivious from what is not, as any one distinguishes the fire of a dunghill or of burnt horn by its bad smell, from the fire of spices or of burnt cinnamon by its sweet smell; and that this arises from their distinction of the internal delights which enter into the external and compose them. . xv. the delights of adulterous love commence from the flesh and are of the flesh even in the spirit; but the delights of conjugial love commence in the spirit and are of the spirit even in the flesh. the reason why the delights of adulterous love commence from the flesh is, because the stimulant heats of the flesh are their beginnings. the reason why they infect the spirit and are of the flesh even in the spirit, is, because the spirit, and not the flesh, is sensible of those things which happen in the flesh. the case is the same with this sense as with the rest: as that the eye does not see and discern various particulars in objects, but they are seen and discerned by the spirit; neither does the ear hear and discern the harmonies of tunes in singing, and the concordances of the articulation of sounds in speech, but they are heard and discerned by the spirit; moreover, the spirit is sensible of every thing according to its elevation in wisdom. the spirit that is not elevated above the sensual things of the body, and thereby adheres to them, is not sensible of any other delights than those which flow in from the flesh and the world through the senses of the body: these delights it seizes upon, is delighted with, and makes its own. now, since the beginnings of adulterous love are only the stimulant fires and itchings of the flesh, it is evident, that these things in the spirit are filthy allurements, which, as they ascend and descend, and reciprocate, so they excite and inflame. in general the cupidities of the flesh are nothing but the accumulated concupiscences of what is evil and false: hence comes this truth in the church, that the flesh lusts against the spirit, that is, against the spiritual man; wherefore it follows, that the delights of the flesh, as to the delights of adulterous love, are nothing but the effervescences of lusts, which in the spirit become the ebullitions of immodesty. . but the delights of conjugial love have nothing in common with the filthy delights of adulterous love: the latter indeed are in the spirit of every man; but they are separated and removed, as the man's spirit is elevated above the sensual things of the body, and from its elevation sees their appearances and fallacies beneath: in this case it perceives fleshly delights, first as apparent and fallacious, afterwards as libidinous and lascivious, which ought to be shunned, and successively as damnable and hurtful to the soul, and at length it has a sense of them as being undelightful, disagreeable, and nauseous; and in the degree that it thus perceives and is sensible of these delights, in the same degree also it perceives the delights of conjugial love as innocent and chaste, and at length as delicious and blessed. the reason why the delights of conjugial love become also delights of the spirit in the flesh, is, because after the delights of adulterous love are removed, as was just said above, the spirit being loosed from them enters chaste into the body, and fills the breasts with the delights of its blessedness, and from the breasts fills also the ultimates of that love in the body; in consequence whereof, the spirit with these ultimates, and these ultimates with the spirits, afterwards act in full communion. . xvi. the delights of adulterous love are the pleasures of insanity; but the delights of conjugial love are the delights of wisdom. the reason why the delights of adulterous love are the pleasures of insanity is, because none but natural men are in that love, and the natural man is insane in spiritual things, for he is contrary to them, and therefore he embraces only natural, sensual, and corporeal delights. it is said that he embraces natural, sensual, and corporeal delights, because the natural principle is distinguished into three degrees: in the supreme degree are those natural men who from rational sight see insanities, and are still carried away by the delights thereof, as boats by the stream of a river; in a lower degree are the natural men who only see and judge from the senses of the body, despising and rejecting, as of no account, the rational principles which are contrary to appearances and fallacies; in the lowest degree are the natural men who without judgement are carried away by the alluring stimulant heats of the body. these last are called natural-corporeal, the former are called natural-sensual, but the first natural. with these men, adulterous love and its insanities and pleasures are of similar degrees. . the reason why the delights of conjugial love are the delights of wisdom is, because none but spiritual men are in that love, and the spiritual man is in wisdom; and hence he embraces no delights but such as agree with spiritual wisdom. the respective qualities of the delights of adulterous and of conjugial love, may be elucidated by a comparison with houses: the delights of adulterous love by comparison with a house whose walls glitter outwardly like sea shells, or like transparent stones, called selenites, of a gold color; whereas in the apartments within the walls, are all kinds of filth and nastiness: but the delights of conjugial love may be compared to a house, the walls of which are refulgent as with sterling gold, and the apartments within are resplendent as with cabinets full of various precious stones. * * * * * . to the above i shall add the following memorable relation. after i had concluded the meditations on conjugial love, and had begun those on adulterous love, on a sudden two angels presented themselves, and said, "we have perceived and understood what you have heretofore meditated upon; but the things upon which you are now meditating pass away, and we do not perceive them. say nothing about them, for they are of no value." but i replied, "this love, on which i am now meditating, is not of no value; because it exists." but they said, "how can there be any love, which is not from creation? is not conjugial love from creation; and does not this love exist between two who are capable of becoming one? how can there be a love which divides and separates? what youth can love any other maiden than the one who loves him in return? must not the love of the one know and acknowledge the love of the other, so that when they meet they may unite of themselves? who can love what is not love? is not conjugial love alone mutual and reciprocal? if it be not reciprocal, does it not rebound and become nothing?" on hearing this, i asked the two angels from what society of heaven they were? they said, "we are from the heaven of innocence; we came infants into this heavenly world, and were educated under the lord's auspices; and when i became a young man, and my wife, who is here with me, marriageable, we were betrothed and entered into a contract, and were joined under the first favorable impressions; and as we were unacquainted with any other love than what is truly nuptial and conjugial, therefore, when we were made acquainted with the ideas of your thought concerning a strange love directly opposed to our love, we could not at all comprehend it; and we have descended in order to ask you, why you meditate on things that cannot be understood? tell us, therefore, how a love, which not only is not from creation, but is also contrary to creation, could possibly exist? we regard things opposite to creation as objects of no value." as they said this, i rejoiced in heart that i was permitted to converse with angels of such innocence, as to be entirely ignorant of the nature and meaning of adultery: wherefore i was free to converse with them, and i instructed them as follows: "do you not know, that there exist both good and evil, and that good is from creation, but not evil; and still that evil viewed in itself is not nothing, although it is nothing of good? from creation there exists good, and also good in the greatest degree and in the least; and when this least becomes nothing, there rises up on the other side evil: wherefore there is no relation or progression of good to evil, but a relation and progression of good to a greater and less good, and of evil to a greater and less evil; for in all things there are opposites. and since good and evil are opposites, there is an intermediate, and in it an equilibrium, in which evil acts against good; but as it does not prevail, it stops in a _conatus_. every man is educated in this equilibrium, which, because it is between good and evil, or, what is the same, between heaven and hell, is a spiritual equilibrium, which, with those who are in it, produces a state of freedom. from this equilibrium, the lord draws all to himself; and if a man freely follows, he leads him out of evil into good, and thereby into heaven. the case is the same with love, especially with conjugial love and adultery: the latter love is evil, but the former good. every man that hears the voice of the lord, and freely follows, is introduced by the lord into conjugial love and all its delights and satisfactions; but he that does not hear and follow, introduces himself into adulterous love, first into its delights, afterwards into what is undelightful, and lastly into what is unsatisfactory." when i had thus spoken, the two angels asked me, "how could evil exist, when nothing but good had existed from creation? the existence of anything implies that it must have an origin. good could not be the origin of evil, because evil is nothing of good, being privative and destructive of good; nevertheless, since it exists and is sensibly felt, it is not nothing, but something; tell us therefore whence this something existed after nothing." to this i replied, "this arcanum cannot be explained, unless it be known that no one is good but god alone, and that there is not anything good, which in itself is good, but from god; wherefore he that looks to god, and wishes to be led by god, is in good; but he that turns himself from god, and wishes to be led by himself, is not in good; for the good which he does, is for the sake either of himself or of the world; thus it is either meritorious, or pretended, or hypocritical: from which considerations it is evident, that man himself is the origin of evil; not that that origin was implanted in him by creation; but that he, by turning from god to himself, implanted it in himself. that origin of evil was not in adam and his wife; but when the serpent said, 'in the day that ye shall eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, ye shall be as god' (gen. iii. ), they then made in themselves the origin of evil, because they turned themselves from god, and turned to themselves, as to god. _to eat of that tree, signifies to believe that they knew good and evil, and were wise, from themselves, and not from god._" but the two angels then asked, "how could man turn himself from god, and turn to himself, when yet he cannot will, think, and thence do anything but from god? why did god permit this?" i replied, "man was so created, that whatever he wills, thinks, and does, appears to him as in himself, and thereby from himself: without this appearance a man would not be a man; for he would be incapable of receiving, retaining, and as it were appropriating to himself anything of good and truth, or of love and wisdom: whence it follows, that without such appearance, as a living appearance, a man would not have conjunction with god, and consequently neither would he have eternal life. but if from this appearance he induces in himself a belief that he wills, thinks, and thence does good from himself, and not from the lord, although in all appearance as from himself, he turns good into evil with himself, and thereby makes in himself the origin of evil. this was the sin of adam. but i will explain this matter somewhat more clearly. the lord looks at every man in the forepart of his head, and this inspection passes into the hinder part of his head. beneath the forepart is the _cerebrum_, and beneath the hinder part is the _cerebellum_; the latter was designed for love and the goods thereof, and the former for wisdom and the truths thereof; wherefore he that looks with the face to the lord receives from him wisdom, and by wisdom love; but he that looks backward from the lord receives love and not wisdom; and love without wisdom, is love from man and not from the lord; and this love, since it conjoins itself with falses, does not acknowledge god, but acknowledges itself for god, and confirms this tacitly by the faculty of understanding and growing wise implanted in it from creation as from itself; wherefore this love is the origin of evil. that this is the case, will admit of ocular demonstration. i will call hither some wicked spirit who turns himself from god, and will speak to him from behind, or into the hinder part of the head, and you will see that the things which are said are turned into their contraries." i called such a spirit and he presented himself, and i spoke to him from behind and said, "do you know anything about hell, damnation, and torment in hell?" and presently, when he was turned to me, i asked him what he heard? he said, "i heard, 'do you know anything concerning heaven, salvation, and happiness in heaven?'" and afterwards when the latter words were said to him from behind, he said that he heard the former. it was next said to him from behind, "do you know that those who are in hell are insane from falses?" and when i asked him concerning these words what he heard, he said, "i heard, 'do you know that those who are in heaven are wise from truths?'" and when the latter words were spoken to him from behind, he said that he heard, "do you know that those who are in hell, are insane from falses?" and so in other instances: from which it evidently appears, that when the mind turns itself from the lord, it turns to itself, and then it perceives things contrary. "this, as you know, is the reason why, in this spiritual world, no one is allowed to stand behind another, and to speak to him; for thereby there is inspired into him a love, which his own intelligence favors and obeys for the sake of its delight; but since it is from man, and not from god, it is a love of evil, or a love of the false. in addition to the above, i will relate to you another similar circumstance. on certain occasions i have heard goods and truths let down from heaven into hell; and in hell they were progressively turned into their opposites, good into evil, and truth into the false; the cause of this, the same as above, because all in hell turn themselves from the lord." on hearing these two things the two angels thanked me, and said, "as you are now meditating and writing concerning a love opposite to our conjugial love, and the opposite to that love makes our minds sad, we will depart;" and when they said, "peace be unto you," i besought them not to mention that love to their brethren and sisters in heaven, because it would hurt their innocence. i can positively assert that those who die infants, grow up in heaven, and when they attain the stature which is common to young men of eighteen years old in the world, and to maidens of fifteen years, they remain of that stature; and further, that both before marriage and after it, they are entirely ignorant what adultery is, and that such a thing can exist. * * * * * on fornication. [transcriber's note: the out-of-order section number which follows is in the original text, as is the asterisk which does not seem to indicate a footnote.] .* fornication means the lust of a grown up man or youth with a woman, a harlot, before marriage; but lust with a woman, not a harlot, that is, with a maiden or with another's wife, is not fornication; with a maiden it is the act of deflowering, and with another's wife it is adultery. in what manner these two differ from fornication, cannot be seen by any rational being unless he takes a clear view of the love of the sex in its degrees and diversities, and of its chaste principles on the one part, and of its unchaste principles on the other, arranging each part into genera and species, and thereby distinguishing them. without such a view and arrangement, it is impossible there should exist in any one's idea a discrimination between the chaste principle as to more and less, and between the unchaste principle as to more and less; and without these distinctions all relation perishes, and therewith all perspicacity in matters of judgement, and the understanding is involved in such a shade, that it does not know how to distinguish fornication from adultery, and still less the milder kinds of fornication from the more grievous, and in like manner of adultery; thus it mixes evils, and of different evils makes one pottage, and of different goods one paste. in order therefore that the love of the sex may be distinctly known as to that part by which it inclines and makes advances to adulterous love altogether opposite to conjugial love, it is expedient to examine its beginning, which is fornication; and this we will do in the following series: i. _fornication is of the love of the sex._ ii. _this love commences when a youth begins to think and act from his own understanding and his voice to be masculine._ iii. _fornication is of the natural man._ iv. _fornication is lust, but not the lust of adultery._ v. _with some men the love of the sex cannot without hurt be totally checked from going forth into fornication._ vi. _therefore in populous cities public stews are tolerated._ vii. _the lust of fornication is light, so far as it looks to conjugial love, and gives this love the preference._ viii. _the lust of fornication is grievous, so far as it looks to adultery._ ix. _the lust of fornication is more grievous, as it verges to the desire of varieties and of defloration._ x. _the sphere of the lust of fornication, such as it is in the beginning, is a middle sphere between the sphere of adulterous love and the sphere of conjugial love, and makes an equilibrium._ xi. _care is to be taken, lest, by inordinate and immoderate fornications, conjugial love be destroyed._ xii. _inasmuch as the conjugial principle of one man with one wife is the jewel of human life and the reservoir of the christian religion._ xiii. _with those who, from various reasons, cannot as yet enter into marriage, and from their passion for the sex, cannot restrain their lusts, this conjugial principle may be preserved, if the vague love of the sex be confined to one mistress._ xiv. _keeping a mistress is preferable to vague amours, if only one is kept, and she be neither a maiden nor a married woman, and the love of the mistress be kept separate from conjugial love._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. fornication is of the love of the sex. we say that fornication is of the love of the sex, because it is not the love of the sex but is derived from it. the love of the sex is like a fountain, from which both conjugial and adulterous love may be derived; they may also be derived by means of fornication, and also without it: for the love of the sex is in every man (_homo_), and either does or does not put itself forth: if it puts itself forth before marriage with a harlot, it is called fornication; if not until with a wife, it is called marriage; if after marriage with another woman, it is called adultery: wherefore, as we have said, the love of the sex is like a fountain, from which may flow both chaste and unchaste love: but with what caution and prudence chaste conjugial love can proceed by fornication, yet from what imprudence unchaste or adulterous love can proceed thereby, we will explain in what follows. who can draw the conclusion, that he that has committed fornication cannot be more chaste in marriage? . ii. the love of the sex, from which fornication is derived, commences when a youth begins to think and act from his own understanding, and his voice to be masculine. this article is adduced to the intent, that the birth of the love of the sex, and thence of fornication, may be known, as taking place when the understanding begins of itself to become rational, or from its own reason to discern and provide such things as are of emolument and use, whereto in such case what has been implanted in the memory from parents and masters, serves as a plane. at that time a change takes place in the mind; it before thought only from things introduced into the memory, by meditating upon and obeying them; it afterwards thinks from reason exercised upon them, and then, under the guidance of the love, it arranges into a new order the things seated in the memory, and in agreement with that order it disposes its own life, and successively thinks more and more according to its own reason, and wills from its own freedom. it is well known that the love of the sex follows the commencement of a man's own understanding, and advances according to its vigor; and this is a proof that that love ascends and descends as the understanding ascends and descends: by ascending we mean into wisdom, and by descending, into insanity; and wisdom consists in restraining the love of the sex, and insanity in allowing it a wide range: if it be allowed to run into fornication, which is the beginning of its activity, it ought to be moderated from principles of honor and morality implanted in the memory and thence in the reason, and afterwards to be implanted in the reason and in the memory. the reason why the voice also begins to be masculine, together with the commencement of a man's own understanding, is, because the understanding thinks, and by thought speaks; which is a proof that the understanding constitutes the man (_vir_), and also his male principle; consequently, that as his understanding is elevated, so he becomes a man-man (_homo vir_), and also a male man (_masculus vir_); see above, n. , . . iii. fornication is of the natural man, in like manner as the love of the sex, which, if it becomes active before marriage, is called fornication. every man (_homo_) is born corporeal, becomes sensual, afterwards natural, and successively rational; and, if in this case he does not stop in his progress, he becomes spiritual. the reason why he thus advances step by step, is, in order that planes may be formed, on which superior principles may rest and find support, as a palace on its foundations: the ultimate plane, with those that are formed upon it, may also be compared to ground, in which, when prepared, noble seeds are sown. as to what specifically regards the love of the sex, it also is first corporeal, for it commences from the flesh: next it becomes sensual, for the five senses receive delight from its common principle; afterwards it becomes natural like the same love with other animals, because it is a vague love of the sex; but as a man was born to become spiritual, it becomes afterwards natural-rational, and from natural-rational spiritual, and lastly spiritual-natural; and in this case, that love made spiritual flows into and acts upon rational love, and through this flows into and acts upon sensual love, and lastly through this flows into and acts upon that love in the body and the flesh; and as this is its ultimate plane, it acts upon it spiritually, and at the same time rationally and sensually; and it flows in and acts thus successively while the man is meditating upon it, but simultaneously while he is in its ultimate. the reason why fornication is of the natural man, is, because it proceeds proximately from the natural love of the sex; and it may become natural-rational, but not spiritual, because the love of the sex cannot become spiritual, until it becomes conjugial; and the love of the sex from natural becomes spiritual, when a man recedes from vague lust, and devotes himself to one of the sex, to whose soul he unites his own. . iv. fornication is lust, but not the lust of adultery. the reasons why fornication is lust are, . because it proceeds from the natural man, and in everything which proceeds from the natural man, there is concupiscence and lust; for the natural man is nothing but an abode and receptacle of concupiscences and lust, since all the criminal propensities inherited from the parents reside therein. . because the fornicator has a vague and promiscuous regard to the sex, and does not as yet confine his attention to one of the sex; and so long as he is in this state, he is prompted by lust to do what he does; but in proportion as he confines his attention to one of the sex, and loves to conjoin his life with hers, concupiscence becomes a chaste affection, and lust becomes human love. . that the lust of fornication is not the lust of adultery, every one sees clearly from common perception. what law and what judge imputes a like criminality to the fornicator as to the adulterer? the reason why this is seen from common perception is, because fornication is not opposed to conjugial love as adultery is. in fornication conjugial love may lie stored up within, as what is spiritual may lie stored up in what is natural; yea, what is spiritual is also actually disengaged from what is natural; and when the spiritual is disengaged, then the natural encompasses it, as bark does its wood, and a scabbard its sword, and also serves the spiritual as a defence against violence. from these considerations it is evident, that natural love, which is love to the sex, precedes spiritual love which is love to one of the sex; but if fornication comes into effect from the natural love of the sex, it may also be wiped away, provided conjugial love be regarded, desired, and sought, as the chief good. it is altogether otherwise with the libidinous and obscene love of adultery, which we have shewn to be opposite to conjugial love, and destructive thereof, in the foregoing chapter concerning the opposition of adulterous and conjugial love: wherefore if a confirmed and determined adulterer for various reasons enters into a conjugial engagement, the above case is inverted, since a natural principle lies concealed within its lascivious and obscene things, and a spiritual appearance covers it externally. from these considerations reason may see, that the lust of limited fornication is, in respect to the lust of adultery, as the first warmth is to the cold of mid-winter in northern countries. . v. with some men the love of the sex cannot without hurt be totally checked from going forth into fornication. it is needless to recount the mischiefs which may be caused and produced by too great a check of the love of the sex, with such persons as labor under a superabundant venereal heat; from this source are to be traced the origins of certain diseases of the body and distempers of the mind, not to mention unknown evils, which are not to be named; it is otherwise with those whose love of the sex is so scanty that they can resist the sallies of its lust; also with those who are at liberty to introduce themselves into a legitimate partnership of the bed while they are young, without doing injury to their worldly fortunes, thus under the first favorable impressions. as this is the case in heaven with infants, when they have grown up to conjugial age, therefore it is unknown there what fornication is: but the case is different in the world where matrimonial engagements cannot be contracted till the season of youth is past, and where, during that season, the generality live within forms of government, where a length of time is required to perform duties, and to acquire the property necessary to support a house and family, and then first a suitable wife is to be courted. [footnote: this, like some other of the author's remarks, is not so applicable to english laws and customs as to those of several of the continental states, especially germany, where men are not allowed to marry till they have attained a certain age, or can show that they possess the means of supporting a wife and family.] . vi. therefore in populous cities public stews are tolerated. this is adduced as a confirmation of the preceding article. it is well known that they are tolerated by kings, magistrates, and thence by judges, inquisitors, and the people, at london, amsterdam, paris, vienna, venice, naples, and even at rome, besides many other places: among the reasons of this toleration are those also above mentioned. . vii. fornication is (comparatively) light so far as it looks to conjugial love and gives this love the preference. there are degrees of the qualities of evil, as there are degrees of the qualities of good; wherefore every evil is lighter and more grievous, as every good is better and more excellent. the case is the same with fornication; which, as being a lust, and a lust of the natural man not yet purified, is an evil; but as every man (_homo_) is capable of being purified, therefore so far as it approaches a purified state, so far that evil becomes lighter, for so far it is wiped away; thus so far as fornication approaches conjugial love, which is a purified state of the love of the sex, (so far it becomes a lighter evil): that the evil of fornication is more grievous, so far as it approaches the love of adultery, will be seen in the following article. the reason why fornication is light so far as it looks to conjugial love, is, because it then looks from the unchaste state wherein it is, to a chaste state; and so far as it gives a preference to the latter, so far also it is in it as to the understanding; and so far as it not only prefers it, but also pre-loves it, so far also it is in it as to the will, thus as to the internal man; and in this case fornication, if the man nevertheless persists in it, is to him a necessity, the causes whereof he well examines in himself. there are two reasons which render fornication light with those who prefer and pre-love the conjugial state; the first is, that conjugial life is their purpose, intention, or end, the other is, that they separate good from evil with themselves. in regard to the first,--that conjugial life is their purpose, intention, or end, it has the above effect, inasmuch as every man is such as he is in his purpose, intention, or end, and is also such before the lord and the angels; yea, he is likewise regarded as such by the wise in the world; for intention is the soul of all actions, and causes innocence and guilt in the world, and after death imputation. in regard to the other reason,--that those who prefer conjugial love to the lust of fornication, separate evil from good, thus what is unchaste from what is chaste, it has the above effect, inasmuch as those who separate those two principles by perception and intention, before they are in good or the chaste principle, are also separated and purified from the evil of that lust, when they come into the conjugial state. that this is not the case with those who in fornication look to adultery, will be seen in the next article. . viii. the lust of fornication is grievous, so far as it looks to adultery. in the lust of fornication all those look to adultery who do not believe adulteries to be sins, and who think similarly of marriage and of adulteries, only with the distinction of what is allowed and what is not; these also make one evil out of all evils, and mix them together, like dirt with eatable food in one dish, and like things vile and refuse with wine in one cup, and thus eat and drink: in this manner they act with the love of the sex, fornication and keeping a mistress, with adultery of a milder sort, of a grievous sort, and of a more grievous sort, yea with ravishing or defloration: moreover, they not only mingle all those things, but also mix them in marriages, and defile the latter with a like notion; but where it is the case, that the latter are not distinguished from the former, such persons, after their vague commerce with the sex, are overtaken by colds, loathings, and nauseousness, at first in regard to a married partner, next in regard to women in other characters, and lastly in regard to the sex. it is self-evident that with such persons there is no purpose, intention, or end, of what is good or chaste, that they may be exculpated, and no separation of evil from good, or of what is unchaste from what is chaste, that they may be purified, as in the case of those who from fornication look to conjugial love, and give the latter the preference, (concerning whom, see the foregoing article, n. ). the above observations i am allowed to confirm by this new information from heaven: i have met with several, who in the world had lived outwardly like others, wearing rich apparel, feasting daintily, trading like others with money, borrowed upon interest, frequenting stage exhibitions, conversing jocosely on love affairs as from wantonness, besides other similar things: and yet the angels charged those things upon some as evils of sin, and upon others as not evils, and declared the latter guiltless, but the former guilty; and on being questioned why they did so, when the deeds were alike, they replied, that they regard all from purpose, intention, or end, and distinguish accordingly; and that on this account they excuse and condemn those whom the end excuses and condemns, since all in heaven are influenced by a good end, and all in hell by an evil end; and that this, and nothing else, is meant by the lord's words, _judge not, that ye be not judged_, matt. vii. i. . ix. the lust of fornication is more grievous as it verges to the desire of varieties and of defloration. the reason of this is, because these two desires are accessories of adulteries, and thus aggravations of it: for there are mild adulteries, grievous adulteries, and most grievous; and each kind is estimated according to its opposition to, and consequent destruction of, conjugial love. that the desire of varieties and the desire of defloration, strengthened by being brought into act, destroy conjugial love, and drown it as it were in the bottom of the sea, will be seen presently, when those subjects come to be treated of. . x. the sphere of the lust of fornication, such as it is in the beginning, is a middle sphere between the sphere of adulterous love and the sphere of conjugial love, and makes an equilibrium. the two spheres, of adulterous love and conjugial love, were treated of in the foregoing chapter, where it was shewn that the sphere of adulterous love ascends from hell, and the sphere of conjugial love descends from heaven, n. ; that those two spheres meet each other in each world, but do not unite, n. ; that between those two spheres there is an equilibrium, and that man is in it, n. ; that a man can turn himself to whichever sphere he pleases; but that so far as he turns himself to the one, so far he turns himself from the other, n. : for the meaning of spheres, see n. , and the passages there cited. the reason why the sphere of the lust of fornication is a middle sphere between those two spheres, and makes an equilibrium, is, because while any one is in it, he can turn himself to the sphere of conjugial love, that is, to this love, and also to the sphere of the love of adultery, that is, to the love of adultery; but if he turns himself to conjugial love, he turns himself to heaven; if to the love of adultery, he turns himself to hell: each is in the man's free determination, good pleasure, and will, to the intent that he may act freely according to reason, and not from instinct: consequently that he may be a man, and appropriate to himself influx, and not a beast, which appropriates nothing thereof to itself. it is said the lust of fornication such as it is in the beginning, because at that time it is in a middle state. who does not know that whatever a man does in the beginning, is from concupiscence, because from the natural man? and who does not know that that concupiscence is not imputed, while from natural he is becoming spiritual? the case is similar in regard to the lust of fornication, while a man's love is becoming conjugial. . xi. care is to be taken lest, by immoderate and inordinate fornications, conjugial love be destroyed. by immoderate and inordinate fornications, whereby conjugial love is destroyed, we mean fornications by which not only the strength is enervated, but also all the delicacies of conjugial love are taken away; for from unbridled indulgence in such fornications, not only weakness and consequent wants, but also impurities and immodesties are occasioned, by reason of which conjugial love cannot be perceived and felt in its purity and chastity, and thus neither in its sweetness and the delights of its prime; not to mention the mischiefs occasioned to both the body and the mind, and also the disavowed allurements, which not only deprive conjugial love of its blessed delights, but also take it away, and change it into cold, and thereby into loathing. such fornications are the violent excesses whereby conjugial sports are changed into tragic scenes: for immoderate and inordinate fornications are like burning flames which, arising out of ultimates, consume the body, parch the fibres, defile the blood, and vitiate the rational principles of the mind; for they burst forth like a fire from the foundation into the house, which consumes the whole. to prevent these mischiefs is the duty of parents; for a grown up youth, inflamed with lust, cannot as yet from reason impose restraint upon himself. . xii. inasmuch as the conjugial principle of one man with one wife is the jewel of human life and the reservoir of the christian religion. these two points have been demonstrated universally and singularly in the whole preceding part of conjugial love and its chaste delights. the reason why it is the jewel of human life is, because the quality of a man's life is according to the quality of that love with him; since that love constitutes the inmost of his life; for it is the life of wisdom dwelling with its love, and of love dwelling with its wisdom, and hence it is the life of the delights of each; in a word, a man is a soul living by means of that love: hence, the conjugial tie of one man with one wife is called the jewel of human life. this is confirmed from the following articles adduced above: only with one wife there exists truly conjugial friendship, confidence, and potency, because there is a union of minds, n. , : in and from a union with one wife there exist celestial blessednesses, spiritual satisfactions, and thence natural delights, which from the beginning have been provided for those who are in love truly conjugial, n. . that it is the fundamental love of all celestial, spiritual, and derivative natural loves, and that into that love are collected all joys and delights from first to last, n. - : and that viewed in its origin, it is the sport of wisdom and love, has been fully demonstrated in the conjugial love and its chaste delights, which constitutes the first part of this work. . the reason why that love is the reservoir of the christian religion is, because this religion unites and dwells with that love; for it was shewn, that none come into that love, and can be in it, but those who approach the lord, and do the truths of his church and its goods; n. , : that that love is from the only lord, and that hence it exists with those who are of the christian religion; n. , , : that that love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man; n. . that these things are so, was fully confirmed in the chapter on the correspondence of that love with the marriage of the lord and the church; n. , ; and in the chapter on the origin of that love from the marriage of good and truth; n. - . . xiii. with those who, from various reasons, cannot as yet enter into marriage, and from their passion for the sex, cannot moderate their lusts, this conjugial principle may be preserved, if the vague love of the sex be confined to one mistress. that immoderate and inordinate lust cannot be entirely checked by those who have a strong passion for the sex, is what reason sees and experience proves: with a view therefore that such lust may be restrained, in the case of one whose passions are thus violent, and who for several reasons cannot precipitately enter into marriage, and that it may be rendered somewhat moderate and ordinate, there seems to be no other refuge, and as it were asylum, than the keeping of a woman, who in french is called _maitresse_. it is well known that in kingdoms, where certain forms and orders are to be observed, matrimonial engagements cannot be contracted by many till the season of youth is past; for duties are first to be performed, and property to be acquired for the support of a house and family, and then first a suitable wife is to be courted; and yet in the previous season of youth few are able to keep the springing fountain of manliness closed, and reserved for a wife: it is better indeed that it should be reserved; but if this cannot be done on account of the unbridled power of lust, a question occurs, whether there may not be an intermediate means, by which conjugial love may be prevented from perishing in the mean time. that keeping a mistress is such a means appears reasonable from the following considerations: i. that by this means promiscuous inordinate fornications are restrained and limited, and thus a less disorderly state is induced, which more resembles conjugial life. ii. that the ardor of venereal propensities, which in the beginning is boiling hot, and as it were burning, is appeased and mitigated; and thereby the lascivious passion for the sex, which is filthy, is tempered by somewhat analogous to marriage. iii. by this means too the strength is not cast away, neither are weaknesses contracted, as by vague and unlimited amours. iv. by this means also disease of the body and insanity of mind are avoided. v. in like manner by this means adulteries, which are whoredoms with wives, and debaucheries, which are violations of maidens, are guarded against; to say nothing of such criminal acts as are not to be named; for a stripling does not think that adulteries and debaucheries are different from fornications; thus he conceives that the one is the same with the other; nor is he able from reason to resist the enticements of some of the sex, who are proficients in meretricious arts: but in keeping a mistress, which is a more ordinate and safer fornication, he can learn and see the above distinctions. vi. by keeping a mistress, also no entrance is afforded to the four kinds of lusts, which are in the highest degree destructive of conjugial love,--the lust of defloration, the lust of varieties, the lust of violation, and the lust of seducing innocences, which are treated of in the following pages. these observations, however, are not intended for those who can check the tide of lust; nor for those who can enter into marriage during the season of youth, and offer and impart to their wives the first fruits of their manliness. . xiv. keeping a mistress is preferable to vague amours, provided only one is kept and she be neither a maiden nor a married woman, and the love of the mistress be kept separate from conjugial love. at what time and with what persons keeping a mistress is preferable to vague amours, has been pointed out just above. i. the reason why only one mistress is to be kept, is, because if more than one be kept, a polygamical principle gains influence, which induces in a man a merely natural state, and thrusts him down into a sensual state, so much so that he cannot be elevated into a spiritual state, in which conjugial love must be; see n. , . ii. the reason why this mistress must not be a maiden, is because conjugial love with women acts in unity with their virginity, and hence constitutes the chastity, purity, and sanctity of that love; wherefore when a woman makes an engagement and allotment of her virginity to any man, it is the same thing as giving him a certificate that she will love him to eternity: on this account a maiden cannot, from any rational consent, barter away her virginity, unless when entering into the conjugial covenant: it is also the crown of her honor: wherefore to seize it without a covenant of marriage, and afterwards to discard her, is to make a courtezan of a maiden, who might have been a bride or a chaste wife, or to defraud some man; and each of these is hurtful. therefore whoever takes a maiden and unites her to himself as a mistress, may indeed dwell with her, and thereby initiate her into the friendship of love, but still with a constant intention, if he does not play the whoremaster, that she shall be or become his wife. iii. that the kept mistress must not be a married woman, because this is adultery, is evident. iv. the reason why the love of a mistress is to be kept separate from conjugial love, is because those loves are distinct, and therefore ought not to be mixed together: for the love of a mistress is an unchaste, natural, and external love; whereas the love of marriage is chaste, spiritual, and internal. the love of a mistress keeps the souls of two persons distinct, and unites only the sensual principles of the body; but the love of marriage unites souls, and from their union conjoins also the sensual principles of the body, until from two they become as one, which is one flesh. v. the love of a mistress enters only into the understanding and the things which depend on it; but the love of marriage enters also into the will and the things which depend on it, consequently into every thing appertaining to man (_homo_); wherefore if the love of a mistress becomes the love of marriage, a man cannot retract from any principle of right, and without violating the conjugial union; and if he retracts and marries another woman, conjugial love perishes in consequence of the breach thereof. it is to be observed, that the love of a mistress is kept separate from conjugial love by this condition, that no engagement of marriage be made with the mistress, and that she be not induced to form any such expectation. nevertheless it is far better that the torch of the love of the sex be first lighted with a wife. * * * * * . to the above i shall add the following memorable relation. i was once conversing with a novitiate spirit who, during his abode in the world, had meditated much about heaven and hell. (novitiate spirits are men newly deceased, who are called spirits, because they are then spiritual men.) as soon as he entered into the spiritual world he began to meditate in like manner about heaven and hell, and seemed to himself, when meditating about heaven, to be in joy, and when about hell, in sorrow. when he observed that he was in the spiritual world, he immediately asked where heaven and hell were, and also their nature and quality? and he was answered, "heaven is above your head, and hell beneath your feet; for you are now in the world of spirits, which is immediate between heaven and hell; but what are their nature and quality we cannot describe in a few words." at that instant, as he was very desirous of knowing, he fell upon his knees, and prayed devoutly to god that he might be instructed; and lo! an angel appeared at his right hand, and having raised him, said, "you have prayed to be instructed concerning heaven and hell; inquire and learn what delight is, and you will know;" and having said this, the angel was taken up. then the novitiate spirit said within himself, "_what does this mean, inquire and learn what delight is, and you will know the nature and quality of heaven and hell?_" and leaving that place, he wandered about, and accosting those he met, said, "tell me, if you please, what delight is?" some said, "what a strange question! who does not know what delight is? is it not joy and gladness? wherefore delight is delight; one delight is like another; we know no distinction." others said, that delight was the laughter of the mind; for when the mind laughs, the countenance is cheerful, the discourse is jocular, the behaviour sportive, and the whole man is in delight. but some said, "delight consists in nothing but feasting, and delicate eating and drinking, and in getting intoxicated with generous wine, and then in conversing on various subjects, especially on the sports of venus and cupid." on hearing these relations, the novitiate spirit being indignant, said to himself; "these are the answers of clowns, and not of well-bred men: these delights are neither heaven nor hell; i wish i could meet with the wise." he then took his leave of them, and inquired where he might find the wise? at that instant he was seen by a certain angelic spirit, who said, "i perceive that you have a strong desire to know what is the universal of heaven and of hell; and since this is delight, i will conduct you up a hill, where there is every day an assembly of those who scrutinize effects, of those who investigate causes, and of those who explore ends. there are three companies; those who scrutinize effects are called spirits of knowledges, and abstractedly knowledges; those who investigate causes are called spirits of intelligence, and abstractedly intelligences; and those who explore ends are called spirits of wisdom, and abstractedly wisdoms. directly above them in heaven are angels, who from ends see causes, and from causes effects; from these angels those three companies are enlightened." the angelic spirit then taking the novitiate spirit by the hand, led him up the hill to the company which consisted of those who explore ends, and are called wisdoms. to these the novitiate spirit said, "pardon me for having ascended to you: the reason is, because from my childhood i have meditated about heaven and hell, and lately came into this world, where i was told by some who accompanied me, that here heaven was above my head, and hell beneath my feet; but they did not tell me the nature and quality of either; wherefore, becoming anxious from my thoughts being constantly employed on the subject, i prayed to god; and instantly an angel presented itself, and said, '_inquire and learn what delight is, and you will know._' i have inquired, but hitherto in vain: i request therefore that you will teach me, if you please, what delight is." to this the wisdoms replied, "delight is the all of life to all in heaven and all in hell: those in delight have the delight of good and truth, but those in hell have the delight of what is evil and false; for all delight is of love, and love is the _esse_ of a man's life; therefore as a man is a man according to the quality of his love, so also is he according to the quality of his delight. the activity of love makes the sense of delight; its activity in heaven is with wisdom, and in hell with insanity; each in its objects presents delight: but the heavens and the hells are in opposite delights, because in opposite loves; the heavens in the love and thence in the delight of doing good, but the hells in the love and thence in the delight of doing evil; if therefore you know what delight is, you will know the nature and quality of heaven and hell. but inquire and learn further what delight is from those who investigate causes, and are called intelligences: they are to the right from hence." he departed, and came to them, and told them the reason of his coming, and requested that they would teach him what delight is? and they, rejoicing at the question, said, "it is true that he that knows what delight is, knows the nature and quality of heaven and hell. the will-principle, by virtue whereof a man is a man, cannot be moved at all but by delight; for the will-principle, considered in itself, is nothing but an affect and effect of some love, thus of some delight; for it is somewhat pleasing, engaging, and pleasurable, which constitutes the principle of willing; and since the will moves the understanding to think, there does not exist the least idea of thought but from the influent delight of the will. the reason of this is, because the lord by influx from himself actuates all things of the soul and the mind with angels, spirits, and men; which he does by an influx of love and wisdom; and this influx is the essential activity from which comes all delight, which in its origin is called blessed, satisfactory, and happy, and in its derivation is called delightful, pleasant, and pleasurable, and in a universal sense, good. but the spirits of hell invert all things with themselves; thus they turn good into evil, and the true into the false, their delights continually remaining: for without the continuance of delight, they would have neither will nor sensation, thus no life. from these considerations may be seen the nature and origin of the delight of hell, and also the nature and origin of the delight of heaven." having heard this, he was conducted to the third company, consisting of those who scrutinize effects, and are called knowledges. these said, "descend to the inferior earth, and ascend to the superior earth: in the latter you will perceive and be made sensible of the delights of the angels of heaven, and in the former of the delights of the spirits of hell." but lo! at that instant, at a distance from them, the ground cleft asunder, and through the cleft there ascended three devils, who appeared on fire from the delight of their love; and as those who accompanied the novitiate spirit perceived that the three ascended out of hell by _proviso_, they said to them, "do not come nearer; but from the place where you are, give some account of your delights." whereupon they said, "know, then, that every one, whether he be good or evil, is in his own delight; the good in the delight of his good, and the evil in the delight of his evil." they were then asked, "what is your delight?" they said. "the delight of whoring, stealing, defrauding, and blaspheming." again they were asked, "what is the quality of those delights?" they said, "to the senses of others they are like the stinks arising from dunghills, the stenches from dead bodies, and the scents from stale urine." and it was asked them, "are those things delightful to you?" they said, "most delightful." and reply was made, "then you are like unclean beasts which wallow in such things." to which they answered, "if we are, we are: but such things are the delights of our nostrils." and on being asked, "what further account can you give?" they said, "every one is allowed to be in his delight, even the most unclean, as it is called, provided he does not infest good spirits and angels; but since, from our delight, we cannot do otherwise than infest them, therefore we are cast together into workhouses, where we suffer direfully. the witholding and keeping back our delights in those houses is what is called hell-torments: it is also interior pain." it was then asked them, "why have you infested the good?" they replied, that they could not do otherwise: "it is," said they, "as if we were seized with rage when we see any angel, and are made sensible of the divine sphere about him." it was then said to them, "herein also you are like wild beasts." and presently, when they saw the novitiate spirit with the angel, they were overpowered with rage, which appeared like the fire of hatred; wherefore, in order to prevent their doing mischief, they were sent back to hell. after these things, appeared the angels who from ends see causes, and by causes effects, who were in the heaven above those three companies. they were seen in a bright cloud, which rolling itself downwards by spiral flexures, brought with it a circular garland of flowers, and placed it on the head of the novitiate spirit; and instantly a voice said to him from thence, "this wreath is given you because from your childhood you have meditated on heaven and hell." * * * * * on concubinage. . in the preceding chapter, in treating on fornication, we treated also on keeping a mistress; by which was understood the connection of an unmarried man with a woman under stipulated conditions: but by concubinage we here mean the connection of a married man with a woman in like manner under stipulated conditions. those who do not distinguish genera, use the two terms promiscuously, as if they had one meaning, and thence one signification: but as they are two genera, and the term keeping a mistress is suitable to the former, because a kept mistress is a courtezan, and the term concubinage to the latter, because a concubine is a substituted partner of the bed, therefore for the sake of distinction, ante-nuptial stipulation with a woman is signified by keeping a mistress, and post-nuptial by concubinage. concubinage is here treated of for the sake of order; for from order it is discovered what is the quality of marriage on the one part, and of adultery on the other. that marriage and adultery are opposites has already been shewn in the chapter concerning their opposition; and the quantity and quality of their opposition cannot be learnt but from their intermediates, of which concubinage is one; but as there are two kinds of concubinage, which are to be carefully distinguished, therefore this section, like the foregoing, shall be arranged into its distinct parts as follows; i. _there are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, the one conjointly with a wife, the other apart from a wife._ ii. _concubinage conjointly with a wife, is altogether unlawful for christians, and detestable._ iii. _that it is polygamy which has been condemned, and is to be condemned, by the christian world._ iv. _it is an adultery whereby the conjugial principle, which is the most precious jewel of the christian life, is destroyed._ v. _concubinage apart from a wife, when it is engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and truly excusatory, is not unlawful._ vi. _the legitimate causes of this concubinage are the legitimate causes of divorce, while the wife is nevertheless retained at home._ vii. _the just causes of this concubinage are the just causes of reparation from the bed._ viii. _of the excusatory causes of this concubinage some are real and some not._ ix. _the really excusatory causes are such as are grounded in what is just._ x. _the excusatory causes which are not real are such as are not grounded in what is just, although in the appearance of what is just._ xi. _those who from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, are engaged in this concubinage, may at the same time be principled in conjugial love._ xii. _while this concubinage continues, actual connection with a wife is not allowable._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. there are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, the one conjointly with a wife, the other apart from a wife. that there are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, and that the one kind consists in taking a substituted partner to the bed and living conjointly and at the same time with her and with a wife; and that the other kind is when, after a legitimate and just separation from a wife, a man engages a woman in her stead as a bed-fellow; also that these two kinds of concubinage differ as much from each other as dirty linen from clean, may be seen by those who take a clear and distinct view of things, but not by those whose view of things is confused and indistinct: yea, it may be seen by those who are in conjugial love, but not by those who are in the love of adultery. the latter are in obscurity respecting all the derivations of the love of the sex, whereas the former are enlightened respecting them: nevertheless, those who are in adultery, can see those derivations and their distinctions, not indeed in and from themselves, but from others when they hear them: for an adulterer has a similar faculty with a chaste husband of elevating his understanding; but an adulterer, after he has acknowledged the distinctions which he has heard from others, nevertheless forgets them, when he immerses his understanding in his filthy pleasure; for the chaste and the unchaste principles, and the sane and the insane, cannot dwell together; but, when separated, they may be distinguished by the understanding. i once inquired of those in the spiritual world who did not regard adulteries as sins, whether they knew a single distinction between fornication, keeping a mistress, the two kinds of concubinage, and the several degrees of adultery? they said they were all alike. i then asked them whether marriage was distinguishable? upon this they looked around to see whether any of the clergy were present, and as there were not, they said, that in itself it is like the rest. the case was otherwise with those who in the ideas of their thought regarded adulteries as sins: these said, that in their interior ideas, which are of the perception, they saw distinctions, but had not yet studied to discern and know them asunder. this i can assert as a fact, that those distinctions are perceived by the angels in heaven as to their minutiae. in order therefore that it may be seen, that there are two kinds of concubinage opposite to each other, one whereby conjugial love is destroyed, the other whereby it is not, we will first describe the kind which is condemnatory, and afterwards that which is not. . ii. concubinage conjointly with a wife is altogether unlawful for christians, and detestable. it is unlawful, because it is contrary to the conjugial covenant; and it is detestable, because it is contrary to religion; and what is contrary to religion, and at the same time to the conjugial covenant, is contrary to the lord: wherefore, as soon as any one, without a really conscientious cause, adjoins a concubine to a wife, heaven is closed to him; and by the angels he is no longer numbered among christians. from that time also he despises the things of the church and of religion, and afterwards does not lift his face above nature, but turns himself to her as a deity, who favors his lust, from whose influx his spirit thenceforward receives animation. the interior cause of this apostasy will be explained in what follows. that this concubinage is detestable is not seen by the man himself who is guilty of it; because after the closing of heaven he becomes a spiritual insanity: but a chaste wife has a clear view of it, because she is a conjugial love, and this love nauseates such concubinage; wherefore also many such wives refuse actual connection with their husbands afterwards, as that which would defile their chastity by the contagion of lust adhering to the men from their courtezans. . iii. it is polygamy which has been condemned, and is to be condemned, by the christian world. that simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, is polygamy, although not acknowledged to be such, because it is not so declared, and thus not so called by any law, must be evident to every person of common discernment; for a woman taken into keeping, and made partaker of the conjugial bed is like a wife. that polygamy has been condemned, and is to be condemned by the christian world, has been shewn in the chapter on polygamy, especially from these articles therein: a christian is not allowed to marry more than one wife; n. : if a christian marries several wives, he commits not only natural, but also spiritual adultery; n. : the israelitish nation was permitted to marry several wives, because the christian church was not with them; n. . from these considerations it is evident, that to adjoin a concubine to a wife, and to make each a partner of the bed, is filthy polygamy. . iv. it is an adultery whereby the conjugial principle, which is the most precious jewel of the christian life is destroyed. that it is more opposed to conjugial love than simple adultery; and that it is a deprivation of every faculty and inclination to conjugial life, which is implanted in christians from birth, may be evinced by arguments which will have great weight with the reason of a wise man. in regard to the first position,--that simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, is more opposed to conjugial love than simple adultery, it may be seen from these considerations: that in simple adultery there is not a love analogous to conjugial love; for it is only a heat of the flesh, which presently cools, and sometimes does not leave any trace of love behind it towards its object; wherefore this effervescing lasciviousness, if it is not from a purposed or confirmed principle, and if the person guilty of it repents, detracts but little from conjugial love. it is otherwise in the case of polygamical adultery: herein there is a love analogous to conjugial love; for it does not cool and disperse, or pass off into nothing after being excited, like the foregoing; but it remains, renews and strengthens itself, and so far takes away from love to the wife, and in the place thereof induces cold towards her; for in such case it regards the concubine courtezan as lovely from a freedom of the will, in that it can retract if it pleases; which freedom is begotten in the natural man: and because this freedom is thence grateful, it supports that love; and moreover, with a concubine the unition with allurements is nearer than with a wife; but on the other hand it does not regard a wife as lovely, by reason of the duty of living with her enjoined by the covenant of life, which it then perceives as far more constrained in consequence of the freedom enjoyed with another woman. it is plain that love for a wife grows cold, and she herself grows vile, in the same degree that love for a courtezan grows warm, and she is held in estimation. in regard to the second position--that simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, deprives a man of all faculty and inclination to conjugial life, which is implanted in christians from birth, it may be seen from the following considerations: that so far as love to a wife is changed into love to a concubine, so far the former love is rent, exhausted, and emptied, as has been shewn just above: that this is effected by a closing of the interiors of the natural mind, and an opening of its inferior principles, may appear from the seat of the inclination with christians to love one of the sex, as being in the inmost principles, and that this seat may be closed, but cannot be destroyed. the reason why an inclination to love one of the sex, and also a faculty to receive that love, is implanted in christians from birth, is, because that love is from the lord alone, and is esteemed religious, and in christendom the lord's divine is acknowledged and worshipped, and religion is from his word; hence there is a grafting, and also a transplanting thereof, from generation to generation. we have said, that the above christian conjugial principle perishes by polygamical adultery: we thereby mean, that with the christian polygamist it is closed and intercepted; but still it is capable of being revived in his posterity, as is the case with the likeness of a grandfather or a great-grandfather returning in a grandson or a great-grandson. hence, that conjugial principle is called the most precious jewel of the christian life, and (see above, n. , ,) the storehouse of human life, and the reservoir of the christian religion. that that conjugial principle is destroyed with the christian who practises polygamical adultery, is manifest from this consideration; that he cannot like a mahometan polygamist, love a concubine and a wife equally; but so far as he loves a concubine, or is warm towards her, so far he does not love his wife, but is cold towards her; and, what is yet more detestable, so far he also in heart acknowledges the lord only as a natural man, and the son of mary, and not at the same time as the son of god, and likewise so far he makes light of religion. it is, however, well to be noted, that this is the case with those who add a concubine to a wife, and connect themselves actually with each; but it is not at all the case with those, who from legitimate, just, and truly excusatory causes, separate themselves, and keep apart from a wife as to actual love, and have a woman in keeping. we now proceed to treat of this kind of concubinage. . v. concubinage apart from a wife, when it is engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and truly excusatory, is not unlawful. what causes we mean by legitimate, what by just, and what by truly excusatory, shall be shewn in their order: the bare mention of the causes is here premised, that this concubinage, which we are about to treat of, may be distinguished from that which we have previously described. (see note to no. , and the preliminary note.) . vi. the legitimate causes of this concubinage are the legitimate causes of divorce, while the wife is nevertheless retained at home. by divorce is meant the annulling of the conjugial covenant, and thence an entire separation, and after this a full liberty to marry another wife. the one only cause of this total separation or divorce, is adultery, according to the lord's precept, matt. xix. . to the same cause are to be referred manifest obscenities, which bid defiance to the restraints of modesty, and fill and infest the house with flagitious practices of lewdness, giving birth to adulterous immodesty, and rendering the whole mind abandoned. to these things may be added malicious desertion, which involves adultery, and causes a wife to commit whoredom, and thereby to be divorced, matt. v. . these three causes, being legitimate causes of divorce,--the first and third before a public judge, and the middle one before the man himself, as judge, are also legitimate causes of concubinage, when the adulterous wife is retained at home. the reason why adultery is the one only cause of divorce is, because it is diametrically opposite to the life of conjugial love, and totally destroys and annihilates it; see above, n. . . the reasons why, by the generality of men, the adulterous wife is still retained at home, are, . because the man is afraid to produce witnesses in a court of justice against his wife, to accuse her of adultery, and thereby to make the crime public; for unless eye-witnesses, or evidences to the same amount, were produced to convict her, he would be secretly reproached in companies of men, and openly in companies of women. . he is afraid also lest his adulteress should have the cunning to clear her conduct, and likewise lest the judges should show favor to her, and thus his name suffer in the public esteem. . moreover, there may be domestic reasons, which may make separation from the house unadvisable: as in case there are children, towards whom also the adulteress has natural love; in case they are bound together by mutual services which cannot be put an end to; in case the wife is connected with and dependent upon her relatives, whether on the father's or mother's side, and there is a hope of receiving an increase of fortune from them; in case he lived with her in the beginning in habits of agreeable intimacy; and in case she, after she became meretricious, has the skill to soothe the man with engaging pleasantry and pretended civility, to prevent blame being imputed to herself; not to mention other cases, which, as in themselves they are legitimate causes of divorce, are also legitimate causes of concubinage; for the causes of retaining the wife at home do not take away the cause of divorce, supposing her guilty of adultery. who, but a person of vile character, can fulfil the duties of the conjugial bed, and at the same time have commerce with a strumpet? if instances of this sort are occasionally to be met with, no favorable conclusions are to be drawn from them. . vii. the just causes of this concubinage are the just causes of separation from the bed. there are legitimate causes of separation, and there are just causes: legitimate causes are enforced by the decisions of judges, and just causes by the decisions come to by the man alone. the causes both legitimate and just of separation from the bed, and also from the house, were briefly enumerated above, n. , ; among which are vitiated states of the body, including diseases whereby the whole body is so far infected, that the contagion may prove fatal: of this nature are malignant and pestilential fevers, leprosies, the venereal disease, cancers; also diseases whereby the whole body is so far weighed down, as to admit of no sociability, and from which exhale dangerous effluvia and noxious vapors, whether from the surface of the body, or from its inward parts, in particular from the stomach and the lungs: from the surface of the body proceed malignant pocks, warts, pustules, scorbutic pthisis, virulent scab, especially if the face is disfigured by it; from the stomach proceed foul, stinking, and rank eructations; from the lungs, filthy and putrid exhalations arising from imposthumes, ulcers or abscesses, or from vitiated blood or serum. besides these there are also other various diseases; as _lipothamia_, which is a total faintness of body, and defect of strength; _paralysis_, which is a loosening and relaxation of the membranes and ligaments which serve for motion; epilepsy; permanent infirmity arising from apoplexy; certain chronical diseases; the iliac passion; rupture; besides other diseases, which the science of pathology teaches. vitiated states of the mind, which are just causes of separation from the bed and the house, are madness, frenzy, furious wildness, actual foolishness and idiocy, loss of memory, and the like. that these are just causes of concubinage, since they are just causes of separation, reason sees without the help of a judge. . viii. of the excusatory causes of this concubinage some are real and some are not. since besides the just causes which are just causes of separation, and thence become just causes of concubinage, there are also excusatory causes, which depend on judgement and justice with the man, therefore these also are to be mentioned: but as the judgements of justice may be perverted and be converted by confirmations into the appearances of what is just, therefore these excusatory causes are distinguished into real and not real, and are separately described. . ix. the really excusatory causes are such as are grounded in what is just. to know these causes, it may be sufficient to mention some of them; such as having no natural affection towards the children, and a consequent rejection of them, intemperance, drunkenness, uncleanliness, immodesty, a desire of divulging family secrets, of disputing, of striking, of taking revenge, of doing evil, of stealing, of deceiving; internal dissimilitude, whence comes antipathy; a froward requirement of the conjugial debt, whence the man becomes as cold as a stone; being addicted to magic and witchcraft; an extreme degree of impiety; and other similar evils. . there are also milder causes, which are really excusatory and which separate from the bed, and yet not from the house; as a cessation of prolification on the part of the wife, in consequence of advanced age, and thence a reluctance and opposition to actual love, while the ardor thereof still continues with the man; besides similar cases in which rational judgement sees what is just, and which do not hurt the conscience. . x. the excusatory causes which are not real are such as are not grounded in what is just, although in the appearance of what is just. these are known from the really excusatory causes above mentioned, and, if not rightly examined, may appear to be just, and yet are unjust; as that times of abstinence are required after the bringing forth of children, the transitory sicknesses of wives, from these and other causes a check to prolification, polygamy permitted to the israelites, and other like causes of no weight as grounded in justice. these are fabricated by the men after they have become cold, when unchaste lusts have deprived them of conjugial love, and have infatuated them with the idea of its likeness to adulterous love. when such men engage in concubinage, they, in order to prevent defamation, assign such spurious and fallacious causes as real and genuine,--and very frequently also falsely charge them against their wives, their companions often favorably assenting and applauding them. . xi. those who from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, are engaged in this concubinage, may at the same time be principled in conjugial love. we say that such may at the same time be principled in conjugial love; and we thereby mean, that they may keep this love stored up in themselves; for this love, in the subject in which it is, does not perish, but is quiescent. the reasons why conjugial love is preserved with those who prefer marriage to concubinage, and enter into the latter from the causes above mentioned, are these; that this concubinage is not repugnant to conjugial love; that it is not a separation from it; that it is only a clothing encompassing it; that this clothing is taken away from them after death. . that this concubinage is not repugnant to conjugial love, follows from what was proved above; that such concubinage, when engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, is not unlawful, n. - . . that this concubinage is not a separation from conjugial love; for when causes legitimate, or just, or really excusatory, arise, and persuade and compel a man, then, conjugial love with marriage is not separated, but only interrupted; and love interrupted, and not separated, remains in the subject. the case in this respect is like that of a person, who, being engaged in a business which he likes, is detained from it by company, by public sights, or by a journey; still he does not cease to like his business: it is also like that of a person who is fond of generous wine, and who, when he drinks wine of an inferior quality, does not lose his taste and appetite for that which is generous. . the reason why the above concubinage is only a clothing of conjugial love encompassing it, is, because the love of concubinage is natural, and the love of marriage spiritual; and natural love is a veil or covering to spiritual, when the latter is interrupted: that this is the case, is unknown to the lover; because spiritual love is not made sensible of itself, but by natural love, and it is made sensible as delight, in which there is blessedness from heaven: but natural love by itself is made sensible only as delight. . the reason why this veil is taken away after death, is, because then a man from natural becomes spiritual, and instead of a material body enjoys a substantial one, wherein natural delight grounded in spiritual is made sensible in its perfection. that this is the case, i have heard from communication with some in the spiritual world, even from kings there, who in the natural world had engaged in concubinage from really excusatory causes. . xii. while this concubinage continues, actual connection with a wife is not allowable. the reason of this is, because in such case conjugial love, which in itself is spiritual, chaste, pure, and holy, becomes natural, is defiled and disregarded, and thereby perishes; wherefore in order that this love may be preserved, it is expedient that concubinage grounded in really excusatory causes, n. , , be engaged in with one only, and not with two at the same time. * * * * * . to the above i will add the following memorable relation. i heard a certain spirit, a youth, recently deceased, boasting of his libertinism, and eager to establish his reputation as a man of superior masculine powers; and in the insolence of his boasting he thus expressed himself; "what is more dismal than for a man to imprison his love, and to confine himself to one woman? and what is more delightful than to set the love at liberty? who does not grow tired of one? and who is not revived by several? what is sweeter than promiscuous liberty, variety, deflorations, schemes to deceive husbands, and plans of adulterous hypocrisy? do not those things which are obtained by cunning, deceit, and theft, delight the inmost principles of the mind!" on hearing these things, the bystanders said, "speak not in such terms; you know not where and with whom you are; you are but lately come hither. hell is beneath your feet, and heaven over your head; you are now in the world which is between those two, and is called the world of spirits. all who depart out of the world, come here, and being assembled are examined as to their quality; and here they are prepared, the wicked for hell, and the good for heaven. possibly you still retain what you have heard from priests in the world, that whoremongers and adulterers are cast down into hell, and that chaste married partners are raised to heaven." at this the novitiate laughed, saying, "what are heaven and hell? is it not heaven where any one is free; and is not he free who is allowed to love as many as he pleases? and is not it hell where any one is a servant: and is not he a servant who is obliged to keep to one?" but a certain angel, looking down from heaven, heard what he said, and broke off the conversation, lest it should proceed further and profane marriages; and he said to him, "come up here, and i will clearly shew you what heaven and hell are, and what the quality of the latter is to continued adulterers." he then shewed him the way, and he ascended: after he was admitted he was led first into the paradisiacal garden, where were fruit-trees and flowers, which from their beauty, pleasantness and fragrance, tilled the mind with the delights of life. when he saw these things, he admired them exceedingly; but he was then in external vision, such as he had enjoyed in the world when he saw similar objects, and in this vision he was rational; but in the internal vision, in which adultery was the principal agent, and occupied every point of thought, he was not rational; wherefore the external vision was closed, and the internal opened; and when the latter was opened, he said, "what do i see now? is it not straw and dry wood? and what do i smell now? is it not a stench? what is become of those paradisiacal objects?" the angel said, "they are near at hand and are present; but they do not appear before your internal sight, which is adulterous, for it turns celestial things into infernal, and sees only opposites. every man has an internal and an external mind, thus an internal and an external sight: with the wicked the internal mind is insane, and the external wise; but with the good the internal mind is wise, and from this also the external; and such as the mind is, so a man in the spiritual world sees objects." after this the angel, from the power which was given him, closed his internal sight, and opened the external, and led him away through gates towards the middle point of the habitations: there he saw magnificent palaces of alabaster, marble, and various precious stones, and near them porticos, and round about pillars overlaid and encompassed with wonderful ornaments and decorations. when he saw these things, he was amazed, and said, "what do i see? i see magnificent objects in their own real magnificence, and architectonic objects in their own real art." at that instant the angel again closed his external sight, and opened the internal, which was evil because filthily adulterous: hereupon he exclaimed, "what do i now see? where am i? what is become of those palaces and magnificent objects? i see only confused heaps, rubbish, and places full of caverns." but presently he was brought back again to his external sight, and introduced into one of the palaces; and he saw the decorations of the gates, the windows, the walls, and the ceilings, and especially of the utensils, over and round about which were celestial forms of gold and precious stones, which cannot be described by any language, or delineated by any art; for they surpassed the ideas of language and the notions of art. on seeing these things he again exclaimed, "these are the very essence of whatever is wonderful, such as no eye had ever seen." but instantly, as before, his internal sight was opened, the external being closed, and he was asked what he then saw? he replied, "nothing but decayed piles of bulrushes in this place, of straw in that, and of fire brands in a third." once again he was brought into an external state of mind, and some maidens were introduced, who were extremely beautiful, being images of celestial affection; and they, with the sweet voice of their affection, addressed him; and instantly, on seeing and hearing them, his countenance changed, and he returned of himself into his internals, which were adulterous; and since such internals cannot endure any thing of celestial love, and neither on the other hand can they be endured by celestial love, therefore both parties vanished,--the maidens out of sight of the man, and the man out of sight of the maidens. after this, the angel informed him concerning the ground and origin of the changes of the state of his sights; saying, "i perceive that in the world, from which you are come, you have been two-fold, in internals having been quite a different man from what you were in externals; in externals you have been a civil, moral, and rational man; whereas in internals, you have been neither civil, moral, nor rational, because a libertine and an adulterer: and such men, when they are allowed to ascend into heaven, and are there kept in their externals, can see the heavenly things contained therein; but when their internals are opened, instead of heavenly things they see infernal. know, however, that with every one in this world, externals are successively closed, and internals are opened, and thereby they are prepared for heaven or hell; and as the evil of adultery defiles the internals of the mind above every other evil, you must needs be conveyed down to the defiled principles of your love, and these are in the hells, where the caverns are full of stench arising from dunghills. who cannot know from reason, that an unchaste and lascivious principle in the world of spirits, is impure and unclean, and thus that nothing more pollutes and defiles a man, and induces in him an infernal principle? wherefore take heed how you boast any longer of your whoredoms, as possessing masculine powers therein above other men. i advertise you before hand, that you will become feeble, so that you will scarce know where your masculine power is. such is the lot which awaits those who boast of their adulterous ability." on hearing these words he descended, and returned into the world of spirits, to his former companions, and converse with them modestly and chastely, but not for any considerable length of time. * * * * * on adulteries and their genera and degrees. . none can know that there is any evil in adultery, who judge of it only from its externals; for in these it resembles marriage. such external judges, when they hear of internals, and are told that externals thence derive their good or their evil, say with themselves, "what are internals? who sees them? is not this climbing above the sphere of every one's intelligence?" such persons are like those who accept all pretended good as genuine voluntary good, and who decide upon a man's wisdom from the elegance of his conversation; or who respect the man himself from the richness of his dress and the magnificence of his equipage, and not from his internal habit, which is that of judgement grounded in the affection of good. this also is like judging of the fruit of a tree, and of any other eatable thing, from the sight and touch only, and not of its goodness from a knowledge of its flavor: such is the conduct of all those who are unwilling to perceive any thing respecting man's internal. hence comes the wild infatuation of many at this day, who see no evil in adulteries, yea, who unite marriages with them in the same chamber, that is, who make them altogether alike; and this only on account of their apparent resemblance in externals. that this is the case, was shewn me by this experimental proof: on a certain time, the angels assembled from europe some hundreds of those who were distinguished for their genius, their erudition, and their wisdom, and questioned them concerning the distinction between marriage and adultery, and in treated them to consult the rational powers of their understandings: and after consultation, all, except ten, replied, that the judicial law constitutes the only distinction, for the sake of some advantage; which distinction may indeed be known, but still be accommodated by civil prudence. they were next asked, whether they saw any good in marriage, and any evil in adultery? they returned for answer, that they did not see any rational evil and good. being questioned whether they saw any sin in it? they said, "where is the sin? is not the act alike?" at these answers the angels were amazed, and exclaimed, oh, the gross stupidity of the age! who can measure its quality and quantity? on hearing this exclamation, the hundreds of the wise ones turned themselves, and said one among another with loud laughter, "is this gross stupidity? is there any wisdom that can bring conviction that to love another person's wife merits eternal damnation?" but that adultery is spiritual evil, and thence moral and civil evil, and diametrically contrary to the wisdom of reason; also that the love of adultery is from hell and returns to hell, and the love of marriage is from heaven and returns to heaven, has been demonstrated in the first chapter of this part, concerning the opposition of adulterous and conjugial love. but since all evils, like all goods, partake of latitude and altitude, and according to latitude have their genera, and according to altitude their degrees, therefore, in order that adulteries may be known as to each dimension, they shall first be arranged into their genera, and afterwards into their degrees; and this shall be done in the following series: i. _there are three genera of adulteries,--simple, duplicate, and triplicate._ ii. _simple adultery is that of an unmarried man with another's wife, or of an unmarried woman with another's husband._ iii. _duplicate adultery is that of a husband with another's wife, or of a wife with another's husband._ iv. _triplicate adultery is with relations by blood._ v. _there are four degrees of adulteries, according to which they have their predications, their charges of blame, and after death their imputations._ vi. _adulteries of the first degree are adulteries of ignorance, which are committed by those who cannot as yet, or cannot at all, consult the understanding, and thence check them._ vii. _in such cases adulteries are mild._ viii. _adulteries of the second degree are adulteries of lust, which are committed by those who indeed are able to consult the understanding, but from accidental causes at the moment are not able._ ix. _adulteries committed by such persons are imputatory, according as the understanding afterwards favors them or not._ x. _adulteries of the third degree are adulteries of the reason, which are committed by those who with the understanding confirm themselves in the persuasion that they are not evils of sin._ xi. _the adulteries committed by such persons are grievous, and are imputed to them according to confirmations._ xii. _adulteries of the fourth degree are adulteries of the will, which are committed by those who make them lawful and pleasing, and who do not think them of importance enough, to consult the understanding respecting them._ xiii. _the adulteries committed by these persons are exceedingly grievous, and are imputed to them as evils of purpose, and remain with them as guilt._ xiv. _adulteries of the third and fourth degrees are evils of sin, according to the quantity and quality of understanding and will in them, whether they are actually committed or not._ xv. _.adulteries grounded in purpose of the will, and adulteries grounded in confirmation of the understanding render men natural, sensual, and corporeal._ xvi. _and this to such a degree, that at length they reject from themselves all things of the church and of religion._ xvii. _nevertheless they have the powers of human rationality like other men._ xviii. _but they use that rationality while they are in externals, but abuse it while in their internals._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. there are three genera of adulteries,--simple, duplicate, and triplicate. the creator of the universe has distinguished all the things which he has created into genera, and each genus into species, and has distinguished each species, and each distinction in like manner, and so forth, to the end that an image of what is infinite may exist in a perpetual variety of qualities. thus the creator of the universe has distinguished goods and their truths, and in like manner evils and their falses, after they arose. that he has distinguished all things in the spiritual world into genera, species, and differences, and has collected together into heaven all goods and truths, and into hell all evils and falses, and has arranged the latter in an order diametrically opposite to the former, may appear from what is explained in a work concerning heaven and hell, published in london in the year . that in the natural world he has also thus distinguished and does distinguish goods and truths, and likewise evils and falses, appertaining to men, and thereby men themselves, may be known from their lot after death, in that the good enter into heaven, and the evil into hell. now, since all things relating to good, and all things relating to evil, are distinguished into genera, species, and so forth, therefore marriages are distinguished into the same, and so are their opposites, which are adulteries. . ii. simple adultery is that of an unmarried man with another's wife, or an unmarried woman with another's husband. by adultery here and in the following pages we mean the adultery which is opposite to marriage; it is opposite because it violates the covenant of life contracted between married partners: it rends asunder their love, and defiles it, and closes the union which was begun at the time of betrothing, and strengthened in the beginning of marriage: for the conjugial love of one man with one wife, after engagement and covenant, unites their souls. adultery does not dissolve this union, because it cannot be dissolved; but it closes it, as he that stops up a fountain at its source, and thence obstructs its stream, and fills the cistern with filthy and stinking waters: in like manner conjugial love, the origin of which is a union of souls, is daubed with mud and covered by adultery; and when it is so daubed with mud there arises from beneath the love of adultery; and as this love increases, it becomes fleshly, and rises in insurrection against conjugial love, and destroys it. hence comes the opposition of adultery and marriage. . that it may be further known how gross is the stupidity of this age, in that those who have the reputation of wisdom do not see any sin in adultery, as was discovered by the angels (see just above, n. ), i will here add the following memorable relation. there were certain spirits who, from a habit they had acquired in the life of the body, infested me with peculiar cunning, and this they did by a sottish and as it were waving influx, such as is usual with well-disposed spirits; but i perceived that they employed craftiness and similar means, to the intent that they might engage attention and deceive. at length i entered into conversation with one of them who, it was told me, had while he lived in the world been the general of an army: and as i perceived that in the ideas of his thought there was a lascivious principle, i conversed with him by representatives in the spiritual language which fully expresses what is intended to be said, and even several things in a moment. he said that, in the life of the body in the former world, he had made no account of adulteries: but it was granted me to tell him, that adulteries are wicked, although from the delight attending them, and from the persuasion thence resulting, they appear to the adulterer as not wicked but allowable; which also he might know from this consideration, that marriages are the seminaries of the human race, and thence also the seminaries of the heavenly kingdom, and therefore that they ought not to be violated, but to be accounted holy; also from this consideration, that he ought know, as being in the spiritual world, and in a state of perception, that conjugial love descends from the lord through heaven, and that from that love, as a parent, is derived mutual love, which is the main support of heaven; and further from this consideration, that adulterers, whenever they only approach the heavenly societies, are made sensible of their own stench, and throw themselves headlong thence towards hell: at least he might know, that to violate marriages is contrary to the divine laws, to the civil laws of all kingdoms, also to the genuine light of reason, and thereby to the right of nations, because contrary to order both divine and human; not to mention other considerations. but he replied, that he entertained no such thoughts in the former life: he wished to reason whether the case was so or not; but he was told that truth does not admit of reasonings, since they favor the delights of the flesh against those of the spirit, the quality of which latter delights he was ignorant of; and that he ought first to think about the things which i had told him, because they are true; or to think from the well-known maxim, that no one should do to another what he is unwilling another should do to him; and thus, if any one had in such a manner violated his wife, whom he had loved, as is the case in the beginning of every marriage, and he had then been in a state of wrath, and had spoken from that state, whether he himself also would not then have detested adulteries, and being a man of strong parts, would not have confirmed himself against them more than other men, even to condemning them to hell; and being the general of an army, and having brave companions, whether he would not, in order to prevent disgrace, either have put the adulterer to death, or have driven the adulteress from his house. . iii. duplicate adultery is that of a husband with another's wife, or of a wife with another's husband. this adultery is called duplicate, because it is committed by two, and on each side the marriage-covenant is violated; wherefore also it is twofold more grievous than the former. it was said above, n. , that the conjugial love of one man with one wife, after engagement and covenant, unites their souls, and that such union is that very love in its origin; and that this origin is closed and stopped up by adultery, as the source and stream of a fountain. that the souls of two unite themselves together, when love to the sex is confined to one of the sex, which is the case when a maiden engages herself wholly to a youth, and on the other hand a youth engages himself wholly to a maiden, is clearly manifest from this consideration, that the lives of both unite themselves, consequently their souls, because souls are the first principles of life. this union of souls can only take place in monogamical marriages, or those of one man with one wife, but not in polygamical marriages, or those of one man with several wives; because in the latter case the love is divided, in the former it is united. the reason why conjugial love in its supreme abode is spiritual, holy, and pure, is because the soul of every man from its origin is celestial; wherefore it receives influx immediately from the lord, for it receives from him the marriage of love and wisdom, or of good and truth; and this influx makes him a man, and distinguishes him from the beasts. from this union of souls, conjugial love, which is there in its spiritual sanctity and purity, flows down into the life of the whole body, and fills with blessed delights, so long as its channel remains open; which is the case with those who are made spiritual by the lord. that nothing but adultery closes and stops up this abode of conjugial love, thus its origin or fountain and its channel, is evident from the lord's words, that it is not lawful to put away a wife and marry another, except on account of adultery: matt. xix. - ; and also from what is said in the same passage, that he that marries her that is put away commits adultery, verse . when therefore, as was said above, that pure and holy fountain is stopped up, it is clogged about with filthiness of sundry kinds, as a jewel with ordure, or bread with vomit; which things are altogether opposite to the purity and sanctity of that fountain, or of conjugial love: from which opposition comes conjugial cold, and according to this cold is the lascivious voluptuousness of adulterous love, which consumes itself of its own accord. the reason why this is an evil of sin is because the holy principle is covered and thereby its channel into the body is obstructed, and in the place thereof a profane principle succeeds, and its channel into the body is opened, whence a man from celestial becomes infernal. . to the above i will add some particulars from the spiritual world, which are worthy to be recorded. i have been informed in that world, that some married men are inflamed with the lust of committing whoredom with maidens or virgins; some with those who are not maidens but harlots; some with married women or wives; some with women of the above description who are of noble descent; and some with such as are not of noble descent: that this is the case, was confirmed to me by several instances from the various kingdoms in that world. while i was meditating concerning the variety of such lusts, i asked whether there are any who find all their delight with the wives of others, and none with unmarried women? wherefore to convince me that there are some such spirits, several were brought to me from a certain kingdom, who were obliged to speak according to their libidinous principles. these declared that it was, and still is their sole pleasure and delight to commit whoredom with the wives of others; and that they look out for such as are beautiful, and hire them for themselves at a great price according to their wealth, and in general bargain about the price with the wife alone. i asked, why they do not hire for themselves unmarried women? they said, that they consider this would be cheap and worthless, and therefore undelightful to them. i asked also, whether those wives afterwards return to their husbands and live with them? they replied, that they either do not return, or they return cold, having become courtezans. afterwards i asked them seriously, whether they ever thought, or now think, that this is twofold adultery, because they commit this at the time they have wives of their own, and that such adultery deprives a man of all spiritual good? but at this several who were present laughed, saying, "what is spiritual good?" nevertheless i was still urgent, and said, "what is more detestable than for a man to mix his soul with the soul of a husband in his wife? do you not know, that the soul of a man is in his seed?" hereupon they turned themselves away and muttered, "what harm can this do her?" at length i said, "although you do not fear divine laws, do you not fear civil laws?" they replied, "no, we only fear certain of the ecclesiastical order; but we conceal this in their presence; and if we cannot conceal it, we keep upon good terms with them." i afterwards saw the former divided into companies, and some of the latter cast into hell. . iv. triplicate adultery is with relations by blood. this adultery is called triplicate, because it is threefold more grievous than the two former. the relations, or remains of the flesh, which are not to be approached, are mentioned in levit. xviii. - . there are internal and external reasons why these adulteries are threefold more grievous than the two above-mentioned: the internal reasons are grounded in the correspondence of those adulteries with the violation of spiritual marriage, which is that of the lord and the church, and thence of good and truth; and the external reasons are for the sake of guards, to prevent a man's becoming a beast. we have no leisure, however, to proceed to the further disclosure of these reasons. . v. there are four degrees of adulteries, according to which they have their predications, their charges of blame, and after death their imputations. these degrees are not genera, but enter into each genus, and cause its distinctions between more and less evil or good; in the present case, deciding whether adultery of every genus from the nature of the circumstances and contingencies, is to be considered milder or more grievous. that circumstances and contingencies vary every thing is well known. nevertheless things are considered in one way by a man from his rational light, in another by a judge from the law, and in another by the lord from the state of a man's mind: wherefore we mention predications, charges of blame, and after death imputations; for predications are made by a man according to his rational light, charges of blame are made by a judge according to the law, and imputations are made by the lord according to the state of the man's mind. that these three differ exceedingly from each other, may be seen without explanation: for a man, from rational conviction according to circumstances and contingencies, may acquit a person, whom a judge, when he sits in judgement, cannot acquit from the law: and also a judge may acquit a person, who after death is condemned. the reason of this is, because a judge gives sentence according to the actions done, whereas after death every one is judged according to the intentions of the will and thence of the understanding, and according to the confirmations of the understanding and thence of the will. these intentions and confirmations a judge does not see; nevertheless each judgement is just; the one for the sake of the good of civil society, the other for the sake of the good of heavenly society. . vi. adulteries of the first degree are adulteries of ignorance, which are committed by those who cannot as yet, or cannot at all, consult the understanding, and thence check them. all evils, and thus also all adulteries, viewed in themselves, are at once of the internal and the external man; the internal intends them, and the external does them; such therefore as the internal man is in the deeds done by the external, such are the deeds viewed in themselves: but since the internal man with his intention, does not appear before man, every one must be judged in a human court from deeds and words according to the law in force and its provisions: the interior sense of the law is also to be regarded by the judge. but to illustrate the case by example: if adultery be committed by a youth, who does not as yet know that adultery is a greater evil than fornication; if the like be committed by a very simple man; if it be committed by a person who is deprived by disease of the full powers of judgement; or by a person, as is sometimes the case, who is delirious by fits, and is at the time in a state of actual delirium; yet further, if it be committed in a fit of insane drunkenness, and so forth, it is evident, that in such cases, the internal man, or mind, is not present in the external, scarcely any otherwise than in an irrational person. adulteries in these instances are predicated by a rational man according to the above circumstances; nevertheless the perpetrator is charged with blame by the same rational man as a judge, and is punished by the law; but after death those adulteries are imputed according to the presence, quality, and faculty of understanding in the will of the perpetrators. . vii. in such cases adulteries are mild. this is manifest from what was said just above, n. , without further confirmation; for it is well known that the quality of every deed and in general the quality of every thing, depends upon circumstances, and which mitigate or aggravate it; but adulteries of this degree are mild at the first times of their commission; and also remain mild so far as the offending party of either sex, in the future course of life, abstains from them for these reasons;--because they are evils against god, or against the neighbour, or against the goods of the state, and because, in consequence of their being such evils, they are evils against reason; but on the other hand, if they are not abstained from for one of the abovementioned reasons, they are reckoned amongst grievous adulteries; thus it is according to the divine law, ezek. xviii, , , , and in other places: but they cannot, from the above circumstances, be pronounced either blameless or culpable, or be predicated and judged as mild or grievous, because they do not appear before man, neither are they within the province of his judgement; wherefore it is meant, that after death they are so accounted or imputed. . viii. adulteries of the second degree are adulteries of lust, which are committed by those who indeed are able to consult the understanding, but from accidental causes at the moment are not able. there are two things which, in the beginning, with every man who from natural is made spiritual, are at strife together, which are commonly called the spirit and the flesh; and since the love of marriage is of the spirit, and the love of adultery is of the flesh, in such case there is also a combat between those loves. if the love of marriage conquers, it gains dominion over and subjugates the love of adultery, which is effected by its removal; but if it happens that the lust of the flesh is excited to a heat greater than what the spirit can control from reason, it follows that the state is inverted, and the heat of lust infuses allurements into the spirit, to such a degree, that it is no longer master of its reason, and thence of itself: this is meant by adulteries of the second degree, which are committed by those who indeed are able to consult the understanding, but by reason of accidental causes at the moment are not able. but the matter may be illustrated by particular cases; as in case a meretricious wife by her craftiness captivates a man's mind (_animum_), enticing him into her chamber, and inflaming his passions to such a degree as to leave him no longer master of his judgement; and especially if, at the same time, she also threatens to expose him if he does not consent: in like manner, in case any meretricious wife is skilled in deceitful allurements, or by powerful stimulants inflames the man to such a degree, that the raging lust of the flesh deprives the understanding of the free use of reason: in like manner, in case a man, by powerful enticements, so far works upon another's wife, as to leave her no longer mistress of herself, by reason of the fire kindled in her will; besides other like cases. that these and similar accidental circumstances lessen the grievousness of adultery, and give a milder turn to the predications of the blame thereof in favor of the party seduced, is agreeable to the dictates and conclusions of reason. the imputation of this degree of adultery comes next to be treated of. . ix. adulteries committed by such persons are imputatory, according as the understanding afterwards favors them or not. so far as the understanding favors evils, so far a man appropriates them to himself and makes them his own. favor implies consent; and consent induces in the mind a state of the love of them: the case is the same with adulteries, which in the beginning were committed without the consent of the understanding, and are favored: the contrary comes to pass if they are not favored. the reason of this is, because evils or adulteries, which are committed in the blindness of the understanding, are committed from the concupiscence of the body; and such evils or adulteries have a near resemblance to the instincts of beasts: with man (_homo_) indeed the understanding is present, while they are committing, but in a passive or dead potency and not in active and living potency. from these considerations it follows of course, that such things are not imputed, except so far as they are afterwards favored or not. by imputation we here mean accusation after death, and hence judication, which takes place according to the state of a man's spirit: but we do not mean inculpation by a man before a judge; for this does not take place according to the state of a man's spirit, but of his body in the deed; and unless there was a difference herein, those would be acquitted after death who are acquitted in the world, and those would be condemned who are condemned in the world; and thus the latter would be without any hope of salvation. . x. adulteries of the third degree are adulteries of the reason, which are committed by those who with the understanding confirm themselves in the persuasion that they are not evils of sin. every man knows that there exist such principles as the will and the understanding; for in his common speaking he says, "this i will, and this i understand;" but still he does not distinguish them, but makes the one the same as the other; because he only reflects upon the things which belong to the thought grounded in the understanding, and not upon those which belong to the love grounded in the will; for the latter do not appear in light as the former. nevertheless, he that does not distinguish between the will and the understanding, cannot distinguish between evils and goods, and consequently he must remain in entire ignorance concerning the blame of sin. but who does not know that good and truth are two distinct principles, like love and wisdom? and who cannot hence conclude, while he is in rational illumination, that there are two faculties in man, which distinctly receive and appropriate to themselves those principles, and that the one is the will and the other the understanding, by reason that what the will receives and reproduces is called good, and what the understanding receives is called truth; for what the will loves and does, is called truth, and what the understanding perceives and thinks, is called truth? now as the marriage of good and truth was treated of in the first part of this work, and in the same place several considerations were adduced concerning the will and the understanding, and the various attributes and predicates of each, which, as i imagine, are also perceived by those who had not thought at all distinctly concerning the understanding and the will, (for human reason is such, that it understands truths from the light thereof, although it has not heretofore distinguished them); therefore, in order that the distinctions of the understanding and the will may be more clearly perceived, i will here mention some particulars on the subject, that it may be known what is the quality of adulteries of the reason and the understanding, and afterwards what is the quality of adulteries of the will. the following points may serve to illustrate the subject: . that the will of itself does nothing; but whatever it does, it does by the understanding. . on the other hand also, that the understanding alone of itself does nothing; but whatever it does, it does from the will. . that the will flows into the understanding but not the understanding into the will; yet that the understanding teaches what is good and evil, and consults with the will, that out of those two principles it may choose and do what is pleasing to it. . that after this there is effected a twofold conjunction; one, in which the will acts from within, and the understanding from without; the other in which the understanding acts from within, and the will from without: thus are distinguished the adulteries of the reason, which are here treated of, from the adulteries of the will, which are next to be treated of. they are distinguished, because one is more grievous than the other; for the adultery of the reason is less grievous than that of the will; because in adultery of the reason, the understanding acts from within, and the will from without; whereas in adultery of the will, the will acts from within, and the understanding from without; and the will is the man himself, and the understanding is the man as grounded in the will; and that which acts within has dominion over that which acts without. . xi. the adulteries committed by such persons are grievous, and are imputed to them according to confirmations. it is the understanding alone that confirms, and when it confirms, it engages the will to its party, and sets it about itself, and thus compels it to compliance. confirmations are affected by reasonings, which the mind seizes for its use, deriving them either from its superior region or from its inferior; if from the superior region, which communicates with heaven, it confirms marriages and condemns adulteries; but if from the inferior region, which communicates with the world, it confirms adulteries and makes light of marriages. every one can confirm evil just as well as good; in like manner what is false and what is true; and the confirmation of evil is perceived with more delight than the confirmation of good, and the confirmation of what is false appears with greater lucidity than the confirmation of what is true. the reason of this is, because the confirmation of what is evil and false derives its reasonings from the delights, the pleasures, the appearances, and the fallacies of the bodily senses; whereas the confirmation of what is good and true derives its reasons from the region above the sensual principles of the body. now, since evils and falses can be confirmed just as well as goods and truths, and since the confirming understanding draws the will to its party, and the will together with the understanding forms the mind, it follows that the form of the human mind is according to confirmations, being turned to heaven if its confirmations are in favor of marriage, but to hell if they are in favor of adulteries; and such as the form of a man's mind is such is his spirit; consequently such is the man. from these considerations then it is evident, that adulteries of this degree after death are imputed according to confirmations. . xii. the adulteries of the fourth degree are adulteries of the will which are committed by those who make them lawful and pleasing, and who do not think them of importance enough to consult the understanding respecting them. these adulteries are distinguished from the foregoing from their origins. the origin of these adulteries is from the depraved will connate to man, or from hereditary evil, which a man blindly obeys after he is capable of exercising his own judgement, not at all considering whether they are evils or not; wherefore it is said, that he does not think them of importance enough to consult the understanding respecting them: but the origin of the adulteries which are called adulteries of reason, is from a perverse understanding; and these adulteries are committed by those who confirm themselves in the persuasion that they are not evils of sin. with the latter adulterers, the understanding is the principal agent; with the former the will. the distinctions in these two cases do not appear to any man in the natural world; but they appear plainly to the angels in the spiritual world. in the latter world all are in general distinguished according to the evils which originate in the will and in the understanding, and which are accepted and appropriated; they are also separated in hell according to those evils: those who are in evil from the understanding, dwell there in front, and are called satans; but those who are in evil from the will, dwell at the back, and are called devils. it is on account of this universal distinction that mention is made in the word of satan and the devil. with those wicked ones, and also those adulterers, who are called satans, the understanding is the principal agent; but with those who are called devils, the will is the principal agent. it is not however possible to explain these distinctions, so as to render them visible to the understanding, unless the distinctions of the will and the understanding be first known; and also unless a description be given of the formation of the mind from the will by the understanding, and of its formation from the understanding by the will. the knowledge of these subjects is necessary, before the distinctions above-mentioned can be seen by reason; but to express this knowledge on paper would require a volume. . xiii. the adulteries committed by these persons are exceedingly grievous, and are imputed to them as evils of purpose, and remain in them as guilt. the reason why they are exceedingly grievous, and more grievous than the foregoing, is, because in them the will is the principal agent, whereas in the foregoing the understanding is the principal agent, and a man's life essentially is his will, and formally is his understanding: the reason of this is, because the will acts in unity with the love, and love is the essence of a man's life, and forms itself in the understanding by such things as are in agreement with it: wherefore the understanding viewed in itself is nothing but a form of the will; and since love is of the will, and wisdom of the understanding, therefore wisdom is nothing but a form of love; in like manner truth is nothing but a form of good. that which flows from the very essence of a man's life, thus which flows from his will or his love, is principally called purpose; but that which flows from the form of his life, thus from the understanding and its thought is called intention. guilt also is principally predicated of the will: hence comes the common observation, that everyone has the guilt of evil from inheritance, but that the evil is from the man. hence these adulteries of the fourth degree are imputed as evils of purpose, and remain in as guilt. . xiv. adulteries of the third and fourth degrees are evils of sin, according to the quantity and quality of understanding and will in them, whether they are actually committed or not. that adulteries of the reason or the understanding, which are of the third degree, and adulteries of the will, which are of the fourth, are grievous, consequently evils of sin, according to the quality of the understanding and of the will in them, may be seen from the comment above concerning them, n. - . the reason of this is, because a man (_homo_) is a man by virtue of the will and the understanding; for from these two principles exist not only all the things which are done in the mind, but also all those which are done in the body. who does not know, that the body does not act of itself, but the will by the body? also that the mouth does not speak of itself, but the thought by the mouth? wherefore if the will were to be taken away, action would instantly be at a stand, and if thought were to be taken away, the speech of the mouth would instantly cease. hence it is clearly manifest, that adulteries which are actually committed, are grievous according to the quantity and quality of the understanding of the will in them. that they are in like manner grievous, if the same are not actually committed, appears from the lord's words: _it was said by them of old time, thou shalt not commit adultery; but i say unto you, that if any one hath looked at another's woman, to lust after her, he hath already committed adultery with her in heart_; matt. v. , : to commit adultery in the heart is to commit it in the will. there are many reasons which operate to prevent an adulterer's being an adulterer in act, while he is still so in will and understanding: for there are some who abstain from adulteries as to act through fear of the civil law and its penalties; through fear of the loss of reputation and thence of honor; through fear of disease thence arising; through fear of quarrels at home on the part of a wife, and the consequent loss of tranquillity; through fear of revenge on the part of the husband and the next of kin; thus also through fear of being beaten by the servants; through poverty or avarice; through imbecility arising from disease, from abuse, from age, or from impotence, and consequent shame: if any one restrains himself from actual adulteries, under the influence of these and like reasons, and yet favors them in his will and understanding, he is still an adulterer: for he believes nevertheless that they are not sins, and he does not make them unlawful before god in his spirit; and thus he commits them in spirit, although not in body before the world; wherefore after death, when he becomes a spirit, he speaks openly in favor of them. . xv. adulteries grounded in purpose of the will, and adulteries grounded in confirmation of the understanding, render men natural, sensual, and corporeal. a man (_homo_) is a man, and is distinguished from the beasts, by this circumstance, that his mind is distinguished into three regions, as many as the heavens are distinguished into: and that he is capable of being elevated out of the lowest region into the next above it, and also from this into the highest, and thus of becoming an angel of one heaven, and even of the third: for this end, there has been given to man a faculty of elevating the understanding thitherto; but if the love of his will is not elevated at the same time, he does not become spiritual, but remains natural: nevertheless he retains the faculty of elevating the understanding. the reason why he retains this faculty is, that he may be reformed; for he is reformed by the understanding: and this is effected by the knowledges of good and truth, and by a rational intuition grounded therein, if he views those knowledges rationally, and lives according to them, then the love of the will is elevated at the same time, and in that degree the human principle is perfected, and the man becomes more and more a man. it is otherwise if he does not live according to the knowledges of good and truth: in this case the love of his will remains natural, and his understanding by turns becomes spiritual: for it raises itself upwards alternately, like an eagle, and looks down upon what is of its love beneath; and when it sees this, it flies down to it, and conjoins itself with it: if therefore it loves the concupiscences of the flesh, it lets itself down to these from its height, and in conjunction with them, derives delight to itself from their delights; and again in quest of reputation, that it may be believed wise, it lifts itself on high, and thus rises and sinks by turns, as was just now observed. the reason why adulterers of the third and fourth degree, who are such as from purpose of the will and continuation of the understanding have made themselves adulterers, are absolutely natural, and progressively become sensual and corporeal, is, because they have immersed the love of their will, and together with it their understanding, in the impurities of adulterous love, and are delighted therewith, as unclean birds and beasts are with stinking and dunghill filth as with dainties and delicacies: for the effluvia arising from their flesh fill the recesses of the mind with their dregs, and cause that the will, perceives nothing more dainty and desirable. it is these who after death become corporeal spirits, and from whom flow the unclean things of hell and the church, spoken of above n. , . . there are three degrees of the natural man; in the first degree are those who love only the world, placing their heart on wealth; these are properly meant by the natural: in the second degree are those who love only the delights of the senses, placing their heart on every kind of luxury and pleasure; these are properly meant by the sensual: in the third degree are those who love only themselves, placing their heart on the quest of honor; these are properly meant by the corporeal, because they immerse all things of the will, and consequently of the understanding, in the body, and look backward at themselves from others, and love only what belongs to themselves: but the sensual immerse all things of the will and consequently of the understanding in the allurements and fallacies of the senses, indulging in these alone; whereas the natural pour forth into the world all things of the will and understanding, covetously and fraudulently acquiring wealth, and regarding no other use therein and thence but that of possession. the above-mentioned adulteries change men in these degenerate degrees, one into this, another into that, each according to his favorite taste for what is pleasurable, in which taste his peculiar genius is grounded. . xvi. and this to such a degree that at length they reject from themselves all things of the church and of religion. the reason why determined and continued adulterers reject from themselves all things of the church and religion is, because the love of marriage and the love of adultery are opposite, n. , and the love of marriage acts in unity with the church and religion; see n. , and throughout the former part; hence the love of adultery, as being opposite, acts in unity with those things which are contrary to the church. a further reason why those adulterers reject from themselves all things of the church and of religion, is, because the love of marriage and the love of adultery are opposite, as the marriage of good and truth is opposite to the connection of evil and the false: see n. , ; and the marriage of good and truth constitutes the church, whereas the connection of evil and the false constitutes the anti-church. a further reason why those adulterers reject from themselves all things of the church and of religion, is because the love of marriage and the love of adultery are as opposite as heaven and hell, n. ; and in heaven there is the love of all things of the church, whereas in hell there is hatred against them. a further reason why those adulterers reject from themselves all things of the church and of religion, is, because, their delights commence from the flesh, and are of the flesh also in the spirit, n. , ; and the flesh is contrary to the spirit, that is, contrary to the spiritual things of the church: hence also the delights of adulterous love are called the pleasures of insanity. if you desire demonstration in this case, go, i pray, to those whom you know to be such adulterers, and ask them privately, what they think concerning god, the church, and eternal life, and you will hear. the genuine reason is, because as conjugial love opens the interiors of the mind; and thereby elevates them above the sensual principles of the body, even into the light and heat of heaven, so, on the other hand, the love of adultery closes the interiors of the mind, and thrusts down the mind itself, as to its will, into the body, even into all things which its flesh lusts after; and the deeper it is so thrust down, the further it is removed and set at a distance from heaven. . xvii. nevertheless they have the powers of human rationality like other men. that the natural man, the sensual, and the corporeal, is equally rational, in regard to understanding, as the spiritual man, has been proved to me from satans and devils arising by leave out of hell, and conversing with angelic spirits in the world of spirits; concerning whom, see the memorable relations throughout; but as the love of the will makes the man, and this love draws the understanding into consent, therefore such are not rational except in a state removed from the love of the will; when they return again into this love, they are more dreadfully insane than wild beasts. but a man, without the faculty of elevating the understanding above the love of the will, would not be a man but a beast; for a beast does not enjoy that faculty; consequently neither would he be able to choose any thing, and from choice to do what is good and expedient, and thus he would not be in a capacity to be reformed, and to be led to heaven, and to live for ever. hence it is, that determined and confirmed adulterers, although they are merely natural, sensual, and corporeal, still enjoy, like other men, the powers of understanding or rationality: but when they are in the lust of adultery, and think and speak from that lust concerning it, they do not enjoy that rationality; because then the flesh acts on the spirit, and not the spirit on the flesh. it is however to be observed, that these at length after death become stupid; not that the faculty of growing wise is taken away from them, but that they are unwilling to grow wise, because wisdom is undelightful to them. . xviii. but they use that rationality while they are in externals, but abuse it while they are in internals. they are in externals when they converse abroad and in company, but in their internals when at home or with themselves. if you wish, make the experiment; bring some person of this character, as, for example, one of the order called jesuits, and cause him to speak in company, or to teach in a temple, concerning god, the holy things of the church, and heaven and hell, and you will hear him a more rational zealot than any other; perhaps also he will force you to sighs and tears for your salvation; but take him into your house, praise him excessively, call him the father of wisdom, and make yourself his friend, until he opens his heart, and you will hear what he will then preach concerning god, the holy things of the church, and heaven and hell,--that they are mere fancies and delusions, and thus bonds invented for souls, whereby great and small, rich and poor, may be caught and bound, and kept under the yoke of their dominion. let these observations suffice for illustration of what is meant by natural men, even to corporeal, enjoying the powers of human rationality like others, and using it when they are in externals, but abusing it when in their internals. the conclusion to be hence deduced is, that no one is to be judged of from the wisdom of his conversation, but of his life in union therewith. * * * * * . to the above i will add the following memorable relation. on a certain time in the spiritual world i heard a great tumult: there were some thousands of people gathered together, who cried out, let them be punished, let them be punished: i went nearer, and asked what the cry meant? a person that was separate from the crowd, said to me, "they are enraged against three priests, who go about and preach every where against adulterers, saying, that adulterers have no acknowledgement of god, and that heaven is closed to them and hell open; and that in hell they are filthy devils, because they appear there at a distance like swine wallowing in mire, and that the angels of heaven abominate them." i inquired, "where are the priests? and why is there such a vociferation on that account?" he replied, "the three priests are in the midst of them, guarded by attendants; and those who are gathered together are of those who believe adulteries not to be sins, and who say, that adulterers have an acknowledgement of god equally with those who keep to their wives. they are all of them from the christian world; and the angels have been to see how many there were there who believe adulteries to be sins; and out of a thousand they did not find a hundred." he then told me that the nine hundred say concerning adulteries, "who does not know that the delight of adultery is superior to the delight of marriage; that adulterers are in continual heat, and thence in alacrity, industry, and active life, superior to those who live with only one woman; and that on the other hand, love with a married partner grows cold, and sometimes to such a degree, that at length scarce a single expression or act of fellowship with her is alive; that it is otherwise with harlots; that the mortification of life with a wife, arising from defect of ability, is recruited and vivified by adulteries; and is not that which recruits and vivifies of more consequence than that which mortifies? what is marriage but allowed adultery? who knows any distinction between them? can love be forced? and yet love with a wife is forced by a covenant and laws. is not love with a married partner the love of the sex, which is so universal that it exists even among birds and beasts? what is conjugial love but the love of the sex? and the love of the sex is free with every woman. the reason why civil laws are against adulteries is, because lawgivers have believed that to prohibit adultery was connected with the public good; and yet lawgivers and judges sometimes commit adultery, and say among themselves, 'let him that is without sin cast the first stone.' who does not know that the simple and religious alone believe adulteries to be sins, and that the intelligent think otherwise, who like us view them by the light of nature? are not adulteries as prolific as marriages? are not illegitimate children as alert and qualified for the discharge of offices and employments as the legitimate? moreover families, otherwise barren, are provided with offspring; and is not this an advantage and not a loss? what harm can come to a wife from admitting several rivals? and what harm can come to a man? to say that it brings disgrace upon a man, is a frivolous idea grounded in mere fancy. the reason why adultery is against the laws and statutes of the church, is owing to the ecclesiastic order for the sake of power; but what have theological and spiritual things to do with a delight merely corporeal and carnal? are not there instances of adulterous presbyters and monks? and are they incapable on that account of acknowledging and worshipping god? why therefore do those three priests preach that adulterers have no acknowledgement of god? we cannot endure such blasphemies; wherefore let them be judged and punished." afterwards i saw that they called judges, whom they requested to pass sentence of punishment upon them: but the judges said, "this is no part of our jurisdiction; for the point in question is concerning the acknowledgement of god, and concerning sin, and thus concerning salvation and damnation; and sentence in these cases must come from heaven: but we will suggest a method to you, whereby you may know whether these three priests have preached truths. there are three places which we judges know, where such points are examined and revealed in a singular manner: one place is, where a way into heaven is open to all; but when they come into heaven, they themselves perceive their own quality as to the acknowledgement of god: the second is, where also a way is open into heaven; but no one can enter into that way unless he has heaven in himself: and the third is where there is a way to hell; and those who love infernal things enter that way of their own accord, because from delight. we judges charge all to go to those places who require judgement from us concerning heaven and hell." on hearing this, those who were gathered together, said, "let us go to those places;" and while they were going to the first, where a way into heaven is open to all, it suddenly became dark; wherefore some of them lighted torches and carried them before. the judges who were with them said, "this happens to all who go to the first place; as they approach, the fire of the torches becomes more dim, and is extinguished in that place by the light of heaven flowing in, which is a sign that they are there; the reason of this is, because at first heaven is closed to them, and afterwards is opened." they then came to that place, and when the torches were extinguished of themselves, they saw a way tending obliquely upwards into heaven: this those entered who were enraged against the priests; among the first, these who were determined adulterers, after them those who were confirmed adulterers; and as they ascended, the first cried out, "follow;" and those who followed cried out, "make haste;" and they pressed forward. after near an hour, when they were all within in the heavenly society, there appeared a gulph between them and the angels; and the light of heaven above the gulph flowing into their eyes, opened the interiors of their minds, whereby they were bound to speak as they interiorly thought; and then they were asked by the angels, whether they acknowledged that god is? the first, who were determined adulterers, replied, "what is god?" and they looked at each other, and said, "which of you has seen him?" the second, who were confirmed adulterers, said, "are not all things of nature? what is there above nature but the sun?" and instantly the angels said to them, "depart from us; now you yourselves perceive that you have no acknowledgement of god: when you descend, the interiors of your mind will be closed and its exteriors opened, and then you can speak against the interiors, and say that god is. be assured that as soon as a man actually becomes an adulterer, heaven is closed to him; and when heaven is closed, god is not acknowledged. hear the reason; every filthy principle of hell is from adulterers, and it stinks in heaven like putrid mire of the streets." on hearing these things they turned themselves and descended by three ways; and when they were below, the first and second groups conversing together said, "the priests have conquered there; but we know that we can speak of god equally with them: and when we say that he is, do we not acknowledge him? the interiors and exteriors of the mind, of which the angels told us, are devised fictions. but let us go to the second place pointed out by the judges, where a way is open into heaven to those who have heaven in themselves, thus to those who are about to come into heaven." when they were come thither, a voice proceeded from that heaven, saying, "shut the gates; there are adulterers at hand." then suddenly the gates were shut, and the keepers with sticks in their hands drove them away; and they delivered the three priests, against whom they had been tumultuous, from the hands of their keepers, and introduced them into heaven: and instantly, when the gates were open for the priests, there issued from heaven upon the rebels the delightful principle of marriage, which, from its being chaste and pure, almost deprived them of animation; wherefore, for fear of fainting away through suffocation, they hastened to the third place, concerning which the judges said, that thence there was a way to hell; and instantly there issued from thence the delight of adultery, whereby those who were either determined or confirmed adulterers, were so vivified, that they descended as it were dancing, and there like swine immersed themselves in filth. * * * * * on the lust of defloration. . the lusts treated of in the four following chapters, are not only lusts of adultery, but are more grievous than those since they exist only from adulteries, being taken to after adulteries are become loathsome; as the lust of defloration, which is first treated of, and which cannot previously exist with any one; in like manner the lust of varieties, the lust of violation, and the lust of seducing innocencies, which are afterwards treated of. they are called lusts, because according to the quantity and quality of the lust for those things, such and so great is their appropriation. in reference specifically to the lust of defloration, its infamous villany shall be made manifest from the following considerations: i. _the state of a maiden or undeflowered woman before and after marriage._ ii. _virginity is the crown of chastity, and the certificate of conjugial love._ iii. _defloration, without a view to marriage as an end, is the villany of a robber._ iv. _the lot of those who have confirmed themselves in the persuasion that the lust of defloration is not an evil of sin, after death is grievous._ we proceed to explain them. . i. the state of a maiden or undeflowered woman before and after marriage. what is the quality of the state of a maiden, before she has been instructed concerning the various particulars of the conjugial torch, has been made known to me by wives in the spiritual world, who have departed out of the natural world in their infancy, and have been educated in heaven. they said, that when they arrived at a marriageable state, from seeing conjugial partners they began to love the conjugial life, but only for the end that they might be called wives, and might maintain friendly and confidential society with one man; and also, that being removed from the house of obedience, they might become their own mistresses: they also said, that they thought of marriage only from the blessedness of mutual friendship and confidence with a husband, and not at all from the delight of any flame; but that their maiden state after marriage was changed into a new one, of which they previously had not the least knowledge: and they declared, that this was a state of the expansion of all things of the life of their body from first principles to last, to receive the gifts of their husband, and to unite these gifts to their own life, that thus they might become his love and his wife; and that this state commenced from the moment of defloration, and that after this the flame of love burned to the husband alone, and that they were sensible of the heavenly delights of that expansion; and further, that as each wife was introduced into this state by her own husband, and as it is from him, and thereby his in herself, it is altogether impossible for her to love any other than him alone. from this account it was made manifest what is the quality of the state of maidens before and after marriage in heaven. that the state of maidens and wives on earth, whose first attachments prove successful, is similar to this of the maidens in heaven, is no secret. what maiden can know that new state before she is in it? inquire, and you will hear. the case is different with those who before marriage catch allurement from being taught. . ii. virginity is the crown of chastity and the certificate of conjugial love. virginity is called the crown of chastity, because it crowns the chastity of marriage: it is also the badge of chastity; wherefore the bride at the nuptials wears a crown on her head: it is also a badge of the sanctity of marriage; for the bride, after the maiden flower, gives and devotes herself wholly to the bridegroom, at that time the husband, and the husband in his turn gives and devotes himself wholly to the bride, at that time the wife. virginity is also called the certificate of conjugial love, because a certificate has relation to a covenant; and the covenant is, that love may unite them into one man, or into one flesh. the men themselves also before marriage regard the virginity of the bride as a crown of her chastity, and as a certificate of conjugial love, and as the very dainty from which the delights of that love are about to commence and to be perpetuated. from these and the foregoing considerations, it is manifest, that after the zone is taken away, and the virginity is sipped, a maiden becomes a wife, and if not a wife, she becomes a harlot; for the new state into which she is then introduced, is a state of love for her husband, and if not for her husband, it is a state of lust. . iii. defloration, without a view to marriage as an end, is the villany of a robber. some adulterers are impelled by the cupidity of deflowering maidens, and thence also of deflowering young girls in their state of innocence: the enticements offered are either persuasions suggested by pimps, or presents made by the men, or promises of marriage; and those men after defloration leave them, and continually seek for others: moreover, they are not delighted with the objects they have left, but with a continual supply of new ones; and this lust increases even till it becomes the chief of the delights of their flesh. they add also to the above this abominable deed, that by various cunning artifices they entice maidens about to be married or immediately after marriage, to offer them the first-fruits of marriage, which also they thus filthily defile. i have heard also, that when that heat with its potency has failed, they glory in the number of virginities, as in so many golden fleeces of jason. this villany, which is that of committing a rape, since it was begun in an age of strength, and afterwards confirmed by boastings, remains rooted in, and thereby infixed after death. what the quality of this villany is, appears from what was said above, that virginity is the crown of chastity, the certificate of future conjugial love, and that a maiden devotes her soul and life to him to whom she devotes it; conjugial friendship and the confidence thereof are also founded upon it. a woman likewise, deflowered by a man of the above description, after this door of conjugial love is broken through, loses all shame, and becomes a harlot, which is likewise to be imputed to the robber as the cause. such robbers, if, after having run through a course of lewdness and profanation of chastity, they apply their minds (_animus_) to marriage, have no other object in their mind (_mens_) than the virginity of her who is to be their married partner; and when they have attained this object, they loathe both bed and chamber, yea also the whole female sex, except young girls: and whereas such are violators of marriage, and despisers of the female sex, and thereby spiritual robbers, it is evident that the divine nemesis pursues them. . iv. the lot of those who have confirmed themselves in the persuasion that the lust of defloration is not an evil of sin, after death is grievous. their lot is this: after they have passed the first time of their stay in the spiritual world, which is a time of modesty and morality, because spent in company with angelic spirits, they are next, from their externals, led into their internals, and in this case into the concupiscences with which they had been ensnared in the world, and the angelic spirits into theirs, to the intent that it may appear in what degree they had been ensnared; and if a lesser degree, that after they have been let into them, they may be let out again, and may be covered with shame. but those who had been principled in this malignant lust to such a degree as to be made sensible of its eminent delight, and to make a boast of those thefts as of the choicest spoils, do not suffer themselves to be drawn away from it; wherefore they are let into their freedom, and then they instantly wander about, and inquire after brothels, and also enter them when they are pointed out; (these brothels are on the sides of hell:) but when they meet with none but prostitutes there, they go away, and inquire where there are maidens; and then they are carried to harlots, who by phantasy can assume supereminent beauty, and a florid girlish complexion, and boast themselves of being maidens; and on seeing these they burn with desire towards them as they did in the world: wherefore they bargain with them; but when they are about to enjoy the bargain, the phantasy induced from heaven is taken away, and then those pretended maidens appear in their own deformity, monstrous and dark, to whom nevertheless they are compelled to cleave for a time: those harlots are called sirens. but if by such fascinations they do not suffer themselves to be draw away from that wild lust, they are cast down into the hell lying to the south and west, beneath the hell of the crafty courtezans, and there they are associated with their companions. i have also been permitted to see them in that hell, and have been told that many of noble descent, and the more opulent, are therein; but as they had been such in the world, all remembrance of their descent and of the dignity derived from their opulence is taken from them, and a persuasion is induced on them that they have been vile slaves, and thence were unworthy of all honor. among themselves indeed they appear as men: but when seen by others, who are allowed to look in thither, they appear as apes, with a stern look instead of a courteous one, and a horrid countenance instead of one of pleasantry. they walk with their loins contracted, and thereby bent, the upper part of the body hanging forward in front, as if they were ready to fall, and they emit a disagreeable smell. they loathe the sex, and turn away from those they see; for they have no desire towards them. such they appear when seen near at hand; but when viewed from afar, they appear like dogs of indulgences, or whelps of delight; and there is also heard somewhat like barking in the tone of their speech. * * * * * on the lust of varieties. . the lust of varieties here treated of, does not mean the lust of fornication, which was treated of above in its proper chapter: the latter lust, notwithstanding its being usually promiscuous and vague, still does not occasion the lust of varieties, unless when it is immoderate, and the fornicator looks to number, and boasts thereof from a principle of cupidity. this idea causes a beginning of this lust; but what its quality is as it advances, cannot be distinctly perceived, unless in some such series as the following: i. _by the lust of varieties is meant the entirely dissolute lust of adultery._ ii. _that lust is love and at the same time loathing in regard to the sex._ iii. _that lust altogether annihilates conjugial love appertaining to itself._ iv. _the lot of those (who have been addicted to that lust), after death, is miserable, since they have not the inmost principle of life._ we proceed to an explanation of each article. . i. by the lust of varieties is meant the entirely dissolute lust of adultery. this lust insinuates itself with those who in youth have relaxed the bonds of modesty, and have had opportunities of association with many loose women, especially if they have not wanted the means of satisfying their pecuniary demands. they implant and root this lust in themselves by immoderate and unlimited adulteries, and by shameless thoughts concerning the love of the female sex, and by confirming themselves in the idea that adulteries are not evils, and not at all sins. this lust increases with them as it advances, so much so that they desire all the women in the world, and wish for whole troops, and a fresh one every day. whereas this love separates itself from the common love of the sex implanted in every man, and altogether from the love of one of the sex, which is conjugial love, and inserts itself into the exteriors of the heart as a delight of love separate from those loves, and yet derived from them; therefore it is so thoroughly rooted in the cuticles, that it remains in the touch when the powers are decayed. persons addicted to this lust make light of adulteries; wherefore they think of the whole female sex as of a common harlot, and of marriage as of a common harlotry, and thereby mix immodesty in modesty, and from the mixture grow insane. from these considerations it is evident what is here meant by the lust of varieties, that it is the lust of entirely dissolute adultery. . ii. that lust is love and at the same time loathing in regard to the sex. persons addicted to that lust have a love for the sex, because they derive variety from the sex; and they have a loathing for the sex, because after enjoying a woman they reject her and lust after others. this obscene lust burns towards a fresh woman, and after burning, it grows cold towards her; and cold is loathing. that this lust is love and at the same time loathing in regard to the sex, may be illustrated as follows: set on the left side a company of the women whom they have enjoyed, and on the right side a company of those whom they have not; would not they look at the latter company from love, but at the former from loathing? and yet each company is the sex. . iii. that lust altogether annihilates conjugial love appertaining to itself. the reason of this is, because that lust is altogether opposite to conjugial love, and so opposite, that it not only rends it asunder, but as it were grinds it to powder, and thereby annihilates it: for conjugial love is confined to one of the sex; whereas that lust does not stop at one, but within an hour or a day is as intensely cold as it was before hot towards her; and since cold is loathing, the latter by forced cohabitation and dwelling together is so accumulated as to become nauseous, and thus conjugial love is consumed to such a degree that nothing of it is left. from these considerations it may be seen, that this lust is fatal to conjugial love; and as conjugial love constitutes the inmost principle of life with man, that it is fatal to his life; and that that lust, by successive interceptions and closings of the interiors of the mind, at length becomes cuticular, and thus merely alluring; while the faculty of understanding or rationality still remains. . iv. the lot of those (who have been addicted to that lust) after death is miserable, since they have not the inmost principle of life. every one has excellence of life according to his conjugial love; for that excellence conjoins itself with the life of the wife, and by conjunction exalts itself; but as with those of whom we are speaking there does not remain the least principle of conjugial love, and consequently not anything of the inmost principle of life, therefore their lot after death is miserable. after passing a certain period of time in their externals, in which they converse rationally and act civilly, they are let into their internals, and in this case into a similar lust and its delights, in the same degree as in the world: for every one after death is let into the same state of life which he had appropriated to himself, to the intent that he may be withdrawn from it; for no one can be withdrawn from this evil, unless he has first been led into it; if he were not to be led into it, the evil would conceal itself, and defile the interiors of the mind, and spread itself as a plague, and would next burst through all barriers and destroy the external principles of the body. for this end there are opened to them brothels, which are on the side of hell, where there are harlots with whom they have an opportunity of varying their lusts; but this is granted with the restriction to one harlot in a day, and under a penalty in case of communication with more than one on the same day. afterwards, when from examination it appears that that lust is so inbred that they cannot be withdrawn from it, they are conveyed to a certain place which is next above the hell assigned for them, and then they appear to themselves as if they fall into a swoon, and to others as if they fall down with the face upward; and also the ground beneath their backs is actually opened, and they are absorbed, and sink down into hell among their like; thus they are gathered to their own. i have been permitted to see them there, and likewise to converse with them. among themselves they appear as men, which is granted them lest they should be a terror to their companions; but at a certain distance they seem to have white faces consisting only of skin, and this because they have no spiritual life in them, which every one has according to the conjugial principle sown in him. their speech is dry, parched, and sorrowful: when they are hungry, they lament; and their lamentations are heard as a peculiar clashing noise. their garments are tattered, and their lower garments are drawn above the belly round about the breast; because they have no loins, but their ankles commence from the region of the bottom of the belly: the reason of this is, because the loins with men (_homines_) correspond to conjugial love, and they are void of this love. they said that they loathe the sex on account of their having no potency. nevertheless, among themselves they can reason as from rationality; but since they are cutaneous, they reason from the fallacies of the senses. this hell is in the western quarter towards the north. these same persons, when seen from afar, appear not as men or as monsters, but as frozen substances. it is however to be observed, that those become of this description who have indulged in the above lust to such a degree as to rend and annihilate in themselves the conjugial human principle. * * * * * on the lust of violation. . the lust of violation does not mean the lust of defloration, which is the violation of virginities, but not of maidens when it is effected from consent; whereas the lust of violation, which is here treated of, retreats in consequence of consent, and is sharpened in consequence of refusal; and it is the passion of violating all women whatever, who altogether refuse, and violently resist, whether they be maidens, or widows, or wives. persons addicted to this lust are like robbers and pirates, who are delighted with spoil and plunder, and not with what is given and justly acquired; and they are like malefactors, who covet what is disallowed and forbidden, and despise what is allowed and granted. these violators are altogether averse to consent, and are set on fire by resistance, which if they observe to be not internal, the ardor of their lust is instantly extinguished, as fire is by water thrown upon it. it is well known, that wives do not spontaneously submit themselves to the disposal of their husbands as to the ultimate effects of love, and that from prudence they resist as they would resist violation, to the end that they may take away from their husbands the cold arising from the consideration of enjoyments being cheap in consequence of being continually allowed, and also in consequence of an idea of lasciviousness on their part. these repugnancies, although they enkindle, still are not the causes, but only the beginnings of this lust: its cause is, that after conjugial love and also adulterous love have grown insipid by practice, they are willing, in order that those loves may be repaired, to be set on fire by absolute repugnances. this lust thus begun, afterwards increases, and as it increases it despises and breaks through all bounds of the love of the sex, and exterminates itself, and from a lascivious, corporeal, and fleshly love, becomes cartilaginous and bony; and then, from the periosteurns, which have an acute feeling, it becomes acute. nevertheless this lust is rare, because it exists only with those who had entered into the married state, and then had lived in the practice of adulteries until they became insipid. besides this natural cause of this lust, there is also a spiritual cause, of which something will be said in what follows. . the lot of persons of this character after death is as follows: these violators then separate themselves from those who are in the limited love of the sex, and altogether from those who are in conjugial love, thus from heaven: afterwards they are sent to the most cunning harlots, who not only by persuasion, but also by imitation perfectly like that of a stage-player, can feign and represent as if they were chastity itself. these harlots clearly discern those who are principled in the above lust: in their presence they speak of chastity and its value; and when the violator comes near and touches them, they are full of wrath, and fly away as through terror into a closet, where there is a couch and a bed, and slightly close the door after them, and recline themselves; and hence by their art they inspire the violator with an ungovernable desire of breaking down the door, of rushing in, and attacking them; and when this is effected, the harlot raising herself erect with the violator begins to fight with her hands and nails, tearing his face, rending his clothes, and with a furious voice crying to the harlots her companions, as to her female servants, for assistance, and opening the window with a loud outcry of thief, robber, and murderer; and when the violator is at hand she bemoans herself and weeps: and after violation she prostrates herself, howls, and calls out that she is undone, and at the same time threatens in a serious tone, that unless he expiates the violation by paying a considerable sum, she will attempt his destruction. while they are engaged in these venereal scenes, they appear at a distance like cats, which nearly in like manner before their conjunctions combat together, run forward, and make an outcry. after some such brothel-contests, they are taken away, and conveyed into a cavern, where they are forced to some work: but as their smell is offensive, in consequence of having rent asunder the conjugial principle, which is the chief jewel of human life, they are sent to the borders of the western quarters, where at a certain distance they appear lean, as if consisting of bones covered over with skin only; but when seen at a distance they appear like panthers. when i was permitted to see them nearer, i was surprised that some of them held books in their hands, and were reading; and i was told that this is the case, because in the world they said various things concerning the spiritual things of the church, and yet defiled them by adulteries, even to their extremities, and that such was the correspondence of this lust with the violation of spiritual marriage. but it is to be observed, that the instances of those who are principled in this lust are rare: certain it is, that women, because it is unbecoming for them to prostitute love, are repugnant thereto, and that repugnance enervates; nevertheless this is not from any lust of violation. * * * * * the lust of seducing innocencies. . the lust of seducing innocencies is neither the lust of defloration, nor the lust of violation, but is peculiar and singular by itself; it prevails more especially with the deceitful. the women, who appear to them as innocencies, are such as regard the evil of adultery as an enormous sin, and who therefore highly prize chastity, and at the same time piety: these women are the objects which set them on fire. in roman catholic countries there are maidens devoted to the monastic life; and because they believe these maidens to be pious innocencies above the rest of their sex, they view them as the dainties and delicacies of their lust. with a view of seducing either the latter or the former because they are deceitful, they first devise arts, and next, when they have well digested them, without receiving any check from shame, they practise them as from nature. these arts are principally pretences of innocence, love, chastity, and piety; by these and other cunning stratagems, they enter into the interior friendship of such women, and thence into their love, which they change from spiritual into natural by various persuasions and at the same time by insinuations, and afterwards into corporeal-carnal by irritations, and then they take possession of them at pleasure; and when they have attained this end, they rejoice in heart, and make a mock of those whom they have violated. . the lot of these seducers after death is sad, since such seduction is not only impiety, but also malignity. after they have passed through their first period in the spiritual world, which is in externals, wherein they excel many others in the elegance of their manners and the courteousness of their speech, they are reduced to another period of their life, which is in internals, wherein their lust is set at liberty, and commences its sport; and then they are first conveyed to women who had made vows of chastity, and with these they are examined as to the quality of their malignant concupiscence, to the intent that they may not be judged except on conviction: when they are made sensible of the chastity of those women, their deceit begins to act, and to attempt its crafty arts; but as this is to no purpose, they depart from them. they are afterwards introduced to women of genuine innocence; and when they attempt to deceive these in like manner, by virtue of a power given to those women, they are heavily fined; for they occasion in their hands and feet a grievous numbness; likewise in their necks, and at length make them feel as it were a swoon; and when they have inflicted this punishment, they run away and escape from the sufferers. after this there is a way opened to them to a certain company of courtezans, who have been versed in the art of cunningly feigning innocence: and these first expose them to laughter among themselves, and at length after various engagements suffer themselves to be violated. after some such scenes, a third period takes place, which is that of judgement; and in this case, being convicted, they sink down, and are gathered to their like in the hell which is in the northern quarter, and there they appear at a distance like weasels; but if they have allured by deceit, they are conveyed down from this hell to that of the deceitful, which is in the western quarter at a depth to the back; in this hell they appear at a distance like serpents of various kinds; and the most deceitful like vipers: but in the hell into which i was permitted to look, they appeared to me as if they were ghastly pale, with faces of chalk: and as they are mere concupiscences, they do not like to speak: and if they do speak, they only mutter and stammer various things, which are understood by none but their companions who are near them; but presently, as they sit or stand, they make themselves unseen, and fly about in the cavern like phantoms; for on this occasion they are in phantasy, and phantasy appears to fly: after flying they rest themselves, and then, what is wonderful, one does not know another; the cause of this is, because they are principled in deceit, and deceit does not believe another, and thereby withdraws itself. when they are made sensible of any thing proceeding from conjugial love, they fly away into hiding places and conceal themselves. they are also void of all love of the sex, and are real impotencies, and are called infernal genii. * * * * * on the correspondence of adulteries with the violation of spiritual marriage. . i should here say something, in the way of preface, concerning correspondence; but the subject does not properly belong to the present work. the nature and meaning of correspondence may be seen in a brief summary above, n. , and n. ; and fully in the apocalypse revealed, from beginning to end, that it is between the natural sense of the word and the spiritual sense. that in the word there is a natural and a spiritual sense, and a correspondence between them, has been demonstrated in the doctrine of the new jerusalem concerning the sacred scripture, and especially, n. - . . the spiritual marriage means the marriage of the lord and the church, spoken of above, n. - ; and hence also the marriage of good and truth, likewise spoken of above, n. - ; and as this marriage of the lord and the church, and the consequent marriage of good and truth, is in everything of the word, it is the violation of this which is here meant by the violation of the spiritual marriage; for the church is from the word, and the word is the lord: the lord is the word, because he is divine good and divine truth therein. that the word is that marriage, may be seen fully confirmed in the doctrine of the new jerusalem concerning the sacred scripture, n. - . . since therefore the violation of the spiritual marriage is the violation of the word, it is evident that this violation is the adulteration of good and the falsification of truth, for the spiritual marriage is the marriage of good and truth; whence it follows, that when the good of the word is adulterated, and its truth falsified, the above marriage is violated. how this violation is effected, and by whom, is in some measure evident from what follows. . above, in treating of the marriage of the lord and the church, n. , and the following numbers, and in treating of the marriage of good and truth, n. , and the following numbers, it was shewn, that that marriage corresponds to marriages in the world: hence it follows, that the violation of that marriage corresponds to whoredoms and adulteries. that this is the case, is very manifest from the word itself, in that whoredoms and adulteries there signify the falsifications of truth and the adulterations of good, as may be plainly seen from numerous passages adduced out of the word in the apocalypse revealed, n. . . the word is violated by those in the christian church who adulterate its goods and truths; and those do this who separate truth from good and good from truth; also, who assume and confirm appearances of truth and fallacies for genuine truths; and likewise, who know truths of doctrine derived from the word, and live evil lives, not to mention other like cases. these violations of the word and the church correspond to the prohibited degrees, mentioned in levit, chap. xviii. . as the natural principle and the spiritual appertaining to every man (_homo_), cohere as soul and body, (for a man without the spiritual principle which flows into and vivifies his natural principle, is not a man), it hence follows, that whoever is in spiritual marriage is also in happy natural marriage; and on the contrary, that whoever is in spiritual adultery is also in natural adultery, and whoever is in natural adultery is also in spiritual adultery. now since all who are in hell are in the nuptial connection of evil and the false, and this is essential spiritual adultery; and all who are in heaven are in the marriage of good and truth, and this is essential marriage; therefore hell in the total is called adultery, and heaven in the total is called marriage. * * * * * . to the above shall be added this memorable relation. my sight being opened, i saw a shady forest, and therein a crowd of satyrs: the satyrs as to their breasts were rough and hairy, and as to their feet some were like calves, some like panthers, and some like wolves, and they had beasts' claws instead of toes. these were running to and fro like wild beasts, crying out, "where are the women?" and instantly i saw some harlots who were expecting them, and who in various ways were monstrous. the satyrs ran towards them, and laid hold of them, dragging them into a cavern, which was in the midst of the forest deep beneath the earth; and upon the ground round about the cavern lay a great serpent in spiral foldings, breathing poison into the cavern: in the branches of the forest above the serpent dismal birds of night croaked and screeched. but the satyrs and harlots did not see these things, because they were the correspondences of their lasciviousnesses, and therefore their usual appearances at a distance. afterwards they came out of the cavern, and entered a certain low cottage, which was a brothel; and then being separated from the harlots they talked together, and i listened; for conversation in the spiritual world may be heard by a distant person as if he was present, the extent of space in that world being only an appearance. they talked about marriages, nature, and religion. those who as to the feet appeared like calves, spoke concerning marriages, and said, "what are marriages but licit adulteries? and what is sweeter than adulterous hypocrisies, and the making fools of husbands?" at this the rest clapped their hands with a loud laugh. the satyrs who as to the feet appeared as panthers, spoke concerning nature, and said, "what is there but nature? what distinction is there between a man and a beast, except that a man can speak articulately and a beast sonorously? does not each derive life from heat, and understanding from light, by the operation of nature?" hereupon the rest exclaimed, "admirable! you speak from judgement." those who as to the feet appeared like wolves, spoke concerning religion, saying, "what is god or a divine principle, but the inmost principles of nature in action? what is religion but a device to catch and bind the vulgar?" hereupon the rest vociferated, "bravo!" after a few minutes they rushed forth, and in so doing they saw me at a distance looking attentively at them. being provoked at this, they ran out from the forest, and with a threatening countenance directed their course hastily towards me, and said, "what are you doing here, listening to our whispers?" i replied, "why should i not? what is to hinder me? you were only talking together:" and i related what i had heard from them. hereupon their minds (_animi_) were appeased, which was through fear lest their sentiments should be divulged; and then they began to speak modestly and to act bashfully; from which circumstance i knew that they were not of mean descent but of honorable birth; and then i told them, how i saw them in the forest as satyrs, twenty as calf-satyrs, six as panther-satyrs, and four as wolf-satyrs; they were thirty in number. they were surprised at this, because they saw themselves there as men, and nothing else, in like manner as they saw themselves here with me. i then taught them, that the reason of their so appearing was from their adulterous lust, and that this satyr-like form was a form of dissolute adultery, and not a form of a person. this happened, i said, because every evil concupiscence presents a likeness of itself in some form, which is not perceived by those who are in the concupiscence, but by those who are at a distance: i also said, "to convince you of it, send some from among you into that forest, and do you remain here, and look at them." they did so, and sent away two; and viewing them from near the above brothel-cottage, they saw them altogether as satyrs; and when they returned, they saluted those satyrs, and said, "oh what ridiculous figures!" while they were laughing, i jested a good deal with them, and told them that i had also seen adulterers as hogs; and then i recollected the fable of ulysses and the circe, how she sprinkled the companions and servants of ulysses with poisonous herbs, and touched them with a magic wand, and turned them into hogs,--perhaps into adulterers, because she could not by any art turn any one into a hog. after they had made themselves exceedingly merry on this and other like subjects, i asked them whether they then knew to what kingdoms in the world they had belonged? they said, they had belonged to various kingdoms, and they named italy, poland, germany, england, sweden; and i enquired, whether they had seen any one from holland of their party? and they said, not one. after this i gave the conversation a serious turn, and asked them, whether they had ever thought that adultery is sin? they replied, "what is sin? we do not know what it means." i then inquired, whether they ever remembered that adultery was contrary to the sixth commandment of the decalogue. [footnote: according to the division of the commandments adopted by the church of england, it is the _seventh_ that is here referred to.] they replied, "what is the decalogue? is not it the catechism? what have we men to do with that childish pamphlet?" i asked them, whether they had ever thought at all about hell. they replied, "who ever came up thence to give us information?" i asked, whether they had ever thought at all in the world about a life after death. they said, "just as much as about the future life of beasts, and at times as about phantoms, which exhale from dead bodies and float about." i further asked them, whether they had heard any thing from the priests on any of these subjects. they replied, that they had attended only to the sound of their voices, and not to the matter; and what is it? being astonished at these answers, i said to them, "turn your faces, and direct your eyes to the midst of the forest, where the cavern is in which you have been;" and they turned themselves, and saw that great serpent around the cavern in spiral foldings, breathing poison, and also the doleful birds in the branches over the serpents. i then asked them, "what do you see?" but being much terrified, they did not answer; and i said, "do you see the dreadful sight? know then that this is a representative of adultery in the baseness of its lust." suddenly at that instant an angel presented himself, who was a priest, and opened the hell in the western quarter into which such spirits are at length collected; and he said, "look thither:" and they saw that firy lake, and knew there some of their friends in the world, who invited them to themselves. having seen and heard these things, they turned themselves away, and rushed out of my sight, and retired from the forest; but i observed their steps, that they only pretended to retire, and that by winding ways they returned into the forest. . after this i returned home, and the next day, from a recollection of these sad scenes, i looked to the same forest, and saw that it had disappeared, and in its place there was a sandy plain, and in the midst thereof a lake, in which were some red serpents. but some weeks after when i was looking thither again, i saw on its right side some fallow land, and upon it some husbandmen; and again, after some weeks i saw springing out of that fallow land some tilled land surrounded with shrubs; and i then heard a voice from heaven, "enter into your chamber, and shut the door, and apply to the work begun on the apocalypse, and finish it within two years." * * * * * on the imputation of each love, adulterous and conjugial. . the lord saith, judge not, that ye be not condemned, matt. vii. ; which cannot in any wise mean judgement respecting any one's moral and civil life in the world, but respecting his spiritual and celestial life. who does not see, that unless a man was allowed to judge respecting the moral life of those who live with him in the world, society would perish? what would society be if there were no public judicature, and if every one did not exercise his judgement respecting another? but to judge what is the quality of the interior mind, or soul, thus what is the quality of any one's spiritual state, and thence what his lot is after death, is not allowed; for that is known only to the lord: neither does the lord reveal this till after the person's decease, to the intent that every one may act freely in whatever he does, and thereby that good or evil may be from him, and thus be in him, and that thence he may live to himself and live his own to eternity. the reason why the interiors of the mind, which are kept hid in the world, are revealed after death is, because this is of importance and advantage to the societies into which the man then comes; for in them all are spiritual. that those interiors are then revealed, is plain from these words of the lord: _there is nothing concealed, which shall not be revealed, or hidden, which shall not be known: therefore whatsoever things ye have said in darkness, shall be heard in light: and that which ye have spoken into the ear in closets shall be preached on the house-tops_, luke xii. , . a common judgement, as this for instance,--"if you are such in internals as you appear to be in externals, you will be saved or condemned," is allowed; but a particular judgement, as this, for instance,--"you are such in internals, therefore you will be saved or condemned," is not allowed. judgement concerning the spiritual life of a man, or the internal life of the soul, is meant by the imputation which is here treated of. can any human being know and decide who is in heart an adulterer, and who a conjugial partner? and yet the thoughts of the heart, which are the purposes of the will, judge every one. but we will explain this subject in the following order: i. _the evil in which every one is principled is imputed to him after death; and so also the good._ ii. _the transference of the good of one person into another is impossible._ iii. _imputation, if by it is meant such transference, is a frivolous term._ iv. _evil is imputed to every one according to the quality of his will and his understanding; in like manner good._ v. _thus adulterous love is imputed to every one._ vi. _in like manner conjugial love._ we proceed to the explanation of each article. . i. the evil in which every one is principled, is imputed to him after death; and so also the good. to make this proposition in some degree evident, it shall be considered according to the following arrangement: . that every one has a life peculiar to himself. . that every one's life remains with him after death. . that to an evil person is then imputed the evil of his life, and to a good person the good of his life. as to the first point,--that everyone has a life peculiar to himself, thus distinct from that of another, it is well known; for there is a perpetual variety, and there is not any thing the same as another, consequently everyone has his own peculiar principle. this is evident from men's faces, the faces of no two persons being absolutely alike, nor can there be two alike to eternity: the reason of this is, because there are no two minds (_animi_) alike, and faces are derived from minds; for the face, as it is said, is a type of the mind, and the mind derives its origin and form from the life. unless a man (_homo_) had a life peculiar to himself, as he has a mind and a face peculiar to himself, he would not have any life after death, separate from that of another; yea, neither would there be a heaven, for heaven consists of perpetual varieties; its form is derived solely from the varieties of souls and minds arranged into such an order as to make a one; and they make a one from the one, whose life is in every thing therein as the soul is in a man: unless this was the case, heaven would be dispersed, because form would be dissolved. the one from whom all things have life, and from whom form coheres, is the lord. in general every form consists of various things, and is such as is their harmonic co-ordination and arrangement to a one: such is the human form; and hence it is that a man, consisting of so many members, viscera, and organs, is not sensible of any thing in himself and from himself but as of a one. as to the second point,--that every one's life remains with him after death, it is known in the church from these passages of the word: _the son of man will come and will then render to every one according to his deeds_, matt. xvi. . _i saw the books open; and all were judged according to their works_, rev. xx. . _in the day of judgement god will render to every one according to his works_, rom. ii. ; cor. v. . the works, according to which it will be rendered to every one, are the life, because the life does the works, and they are according to the life. as i have been permitted for several years to be associated with angels, and to converse with the deceased, i can testify for certain, that every one is then examined as to the quality of the life which he has led, and that the life which he has contracted in the world abides with him to eternity. i have conversed with those who lived ages ago, whose life i have been acquainted with from history, and i have known it to be like the description given of it; and i have heard from the angels, that no one's life after death can be changed, because it is organized according to his love and consequent works; and that if it were changed the organization would be rent asunder, which cannot be done in any case; also that a change of organization can only be effected in the material body, and is utterly impossible in the spiritual body, after the former has been laid aside. in regard to the third point--that to an evil person is then imputed the evil of his life, and to a good person the good of his life, it is to be observed, that the imputation of evil is not accusation, inculpation, and judication, as in the world, but evil itself produces this effect; for the evil freely separate themselves from the good, since they cannot remain together. the delights of the love of evil are different from those of the love of good; and delights exhale from every one, as odors do from every vegetable in the world; for they are not absorbed and concealed by the material body as heretofore, but flow freely from their loves into the spiritual _aura_; and as evil is there made sensible as in its odor, it is in this which accuses, fixes blame, and judges,--not before any judge, but before every one who is principled in good; and this is what is meant by imputation. moreover, an evil person chooses companions with whom he may live in his delights; and because he is averse from the delight of good, he spontaneously betakes himself to his own in hell. the imputation of good is effected in like manner, and takes place with those who in the world have acknowledged that all good in them is from the lord, and nothing from themselves. these, after they have been prepared, are let into the interior delights of good, and then there is opened to them a way into heaven, to the society where its homogeneous delights are: this is effected by the lord. . ii. the transference of the good of one person to another is impossible. the evidence of this proposition may also be seen from the following points: . that every man is born in evil. . that he is led into good by regeneration from the lord. . that this is effected by a life according to his precepts. . wherefore good, when it is thus implanted, cannot be transferred. the first point,--that every man is born in evil, is well known in the church. it is generally said that this evil is derived hereditarily from adam; but it is from a man's parents. every one derives from his parents his peculiar temper, which is his inclination. that this is the case, is evinced both by reason and experience; for the likenesses of parents as to face, genius, and manners, appear extant in their immediate offspring and in their posterity; hence families are known by many, and a judgement is also formed concerning their minds (_animi_); wherefore the evils which parents themselves have contracted, and which they have transmitted to their offspring, are the evils in which men are born. the reason why it is believed that the guilt of adam is inscribed on all the human race, is, because few reflect upon any evil with themselves, and thence know it; wherefore they suppose that it is so deeply hid as to appear only in the sight of god. in regard to the second point,--that a man is led into good by regeneration from the lord, it is to be observed that there is such a thing as regeneration, and that unless a person be regenerated, he cannot enter into heaven, as appears clearly from the lord's words in john iii. , . the regeneration consists in purification from evils, and thereby renovation of life, cannot be unknown in the christian world; for reason also sees this when it acknowledges that every one is born in evil, and that evil cannot be washed and wiped away like filth by soap and water, but by repentance. as to the third point,--that a man is led into good by the lord, by a life according to his precepts, it is plain from this consideration, that there are live precepts of regeneration; see above, n. ; among which are these,--that evils are to be shunned, because they are of and from the devil, and that goods are to be done, because they are of and from god; and that men ought to go to the lord, in order that he may lead them to do the latter. let any one consult himself and consider, whether a man derives good from any other source; and if he has not good, he has not salvation. in regard to the fourth point,--that good, when it is thus implanted, cannot be transferred, (that is, the good of one person into another,) it is evident from what has been already said; for from that it follows, that a man by regeneration is made altogether new as to his spirit, which is effected by a life according to the lord's precepts. who does not see that this renewing can only be effected from time to time, in nearly the same manner as a tree successively takes root and grows from a seed, and is perfected? those who have other perceptions of regeneration, do not know any thing about the state of man, or about evil and good, which two are altogether opposite, and that good can only be implanted so far as evil is removed; nor do they know, that so long as any one is in evil, he is averse from the good which in itself is good; wherefore if the good of one should be transferred into any one who is in evil, it would be as if a lamb should be cast before a wolf, or as if a pearl should be tied to a swine's snout: from which considerations it is evident, that any such transfer is impossible. . iii. imputation, if by it is meant such transference, is a frivolous term. that the evil in which every one is principled, is imputed to him after death, and so also the good, was proved above, n. ; hence it is evident what is meant by imputation: but if by imputation is meant the tranference of good into any one that is in evil, it is a frivolous term, because any such transference is impossible, as was also proved above, in . in the world, merits may as it were be transferred by men; that is, good may be done to children for the sake of their parents, or to the friends of any client out of favor; but the good of merit cannot be inscribed on their souls, but only be externally adjoined. the like is not possible with men as to their spiritual life: this, as was shewn above, must be implanted; and if it is not implanted by a life according to the lord's precepts, as above-mentioned, a man remains in the evil in which he was born. before such implantation, it is impossible for any good to reach him, or if it reaches him, it is instantly struck back and rebounds like an elastic ball falling upon a rock, or it is absorbed like a diamond thrown into a bog. a man not reformed as to the spirit, is like a panther or an owl, and may be compared to a bramble and a nettle; but a man regenerated is like a sheep or a dove, and may be compared to an olive and a vine. consider, i pray, if you are so disposed, how can a man-panther be changed into a man-sheep, or an owl into a dove, or a bramble into an olive, or a nettle into a vine, by any imputation, if by it is meant transference? in order that such a change may be effected is it not necessary that the ferine principle of the panther and the owl, or the noxious principle of the bramble and the nettle, be first taken away, and thereby the truly human and innocent principle be implanted? how this is effected, the lord also teaches in john, chap. xv. - . . iv. evil or good is imputed to every one according to the quality of his will and his understanding. it is well known that there are two principles which make a man's life, the will and the understanding; and that all things which a man does, are done from his will and his understanding; and that without these acting principles he would have neither action nor speech other than as a machine; hence it is evident, that such as are a man's will and understanding, such is the man; and further, that a man's action in itself is such as is the affection of his will which produces it, and that a man's conversation in itself is such as is the thought of his understanding which produces it: wherefore several men may act and speak alike, and yet they act and speak differently: one from a depraved will and thought, the other from an upright will and thought. from these considerations it is evident that by the deeds or works according to which every one will be judged, are meant the will and the understanding; consequently that evil works means the works of an evil will, whatever has been their appearance in externals, and that good works mean the works of a good will, although in externals they have appeared like the works done by an evil man. all things which are done from a man's interior will, are done from purpose, since that will proposes to itself what it acts by its intention; and all things which are done from the understanding, are done from confirmation, since the understanding confirms. from these considerations it may appear, that evil or good is imputed to every one according to the quality of his will therein, and of his understanding concerning them. these observations i am allowed to confirm by the following relation: in the spiritual world i have met several who in the natural world had lived like others, being sumptuous in their dress, giving costly entertainments, frequenting the exhibitions of the stage, jesting loosely on love topics, with other similar practices; and yet the angels accounted those things as evils of sin to some, and not to others, declaring the latter guiltless, and the former guilty. being questioned why they did so, when all had done alike, they replied that they regard all from their purpose, intention, or end, and distinguish accordingly; and that therefore they excuse or condemn those whom the end either excuses or condemns, since an end of good influences all in heaven, and an end of evil all in hell. . to the above i will add the following observation: it is said in the church that no one can fulfil the law, and the less so, because he that offends against one precept of the decalogue, offends against all: but this form of speaking is not such as it sounds; for it is to be understood thus, that he who, from purpose or confirmation, acts against one precept, acts against the rest; since to act so from purpose or confirmation is to deny that it is a sin; and he who denies that it is a sin, makes nothing of acting against the rest of the precepts. who does not know, that he that is an adulterer is not on that account a murderer, a thief, and a false witness, or wishes to be so? but he that is a determined and confirmed adulterer makes no account of anything respecting religion, thus neither does he make any account of murder, theft, and false witness; and he abstains from these evils, not because they are sins, but because he is afraid of the law and of the loss of reputation. that determined and confirmed adulterers make no account of the holy things of the church and religion, may be seen above, n. - , and in the two memorable relations, n. , , : it is a similar case, if any one, from purpose or confirmation, acts against any other precept of the decalogue; he also acts against the rest because he does not regard anything as sin. . the case is similar with those who are principled in good from the lord: if these from will and understanding, or from purpose and confirmation, abstain from any one evil because it is a sin, they abstain from all evil, and the more so still if they abstain from several; for as soon as any one, from purpose or confirmation, abstains from any evil because it is a sin, he is kept by the lord in the purpose of abstaining from the rest: wherefore, if unwittingly, or from any prevailing bodily concupiscence, he does evil, still this is not imputed to him, because he did not purpose it to himself, and does not confirm it with himself. a man comes into this purpose, if once or twice in a year he examines himself, and repents of the evils which he discovers in himself: it is otherwise with him who never examines himself. from these considerations it evidently appears to whom sin is not imputed, and to whom it is. . v. thus adulterous love is imputed to every one;--not according to his deeds, such as they appear externally before men, nor either such as they appear before a judge, but such as they appear internally before the lord, and from him before the angels, which is according to the quality of a man's will and of his understanding therein. various circumstances exist in the world which mitigate and excuse crimes, also which aggravate and charge them upon the perpetrator: nevertheless, imputations after death take place, not according to the external circumstances of the deed, but according to the internal circumstances of the mind; and these are viewed according to the state of the church with every one: as for example, a man impious in will and understanding, that is, who has no fear of god or love of his neighbour, and consequently no reverence for any sanctity of the church,--he, after death, becomes guilty of all the crimes which he did in the body; nor is there any remembrance of his good actions, since his heart, from whence as from a fountain those things flowed, was averse from heaven, and turned to hell; and deeds flow from the place of the habitation of every one's heart. in order that this may be understood, i will mention an arcanum: heaven is distinguished into innumerable societies, and so is hell, from an opposite principle; and the mind of every man, according to his will and consequent understanding, actually dwells in one society, and intends and thinks like those who compose the society. if the mind be in any society of heaven, it then intends and thinks like those who compose that society; if it be in any society of hell, it intends and thinks like those who are in the same society; but so long as a man lives in the world, so long he wanders from one society to another, according to the changes of the affections of his will and of the consequent thoughts of his mind: but after death his wanderings are collected into one, and a place is accordingly allotted him, in hell if he is evil, in heaven if he is good. now since all in hell are influenced by a will of evil, all there are viewed from that will; and since all in heaven are influenced by will of good, all there are viewed from that will; wherefore imputations after death take place according to the quality of every one's will and understanding. the case is similar with adulteries, whether they be fornications, whoredoms, concubinages, or adulteries; for those things are imputed to every one, not according to the deeds themselves, but according to the state of the mind in the deeds; for deeds follow the body into the tomb, whereas the mind rises again. . vi. thus conjugial love is imputed to every one. there are marriages in which conjugial love does not appear, and yet is: and there are marriages in which conjugial love appears and yet is not: there are several causes in both cases, which may be known in part from what was related concerning love truly conjugial, n. - ; concerning the cause of colds and separations, n. - ; and concerning the causes of apparent love and friendship in marriages, n. - : but external appearances decide nothing concerning imputation; the only thing which decides is the conjugial principle, which abides in every one's will, and is guarded, in whatever state of marriage a man is. the conjugial principle is like a scale, in which that love is weighed; for the conjugial principle of one man with one wife is the storehouse of human life, and the reservoir of the christian religion, as was shewn above, n. , ; and this being the case, it is possible that that love may exist with one married partner, and not at the same time with the other; and that it may lie deeper hid than that the man (_homo_) himself can observe any thing concerning it; and also it may be inscribed in a successive progress of the life. the reason of this is, because that love in its progress accompanies religion, and religion, as it is the marriage of the lord and the church, is the beginning and inoculation of that love; wherefore conjugial love is imputed to every one after death according to his spiritual rational life; and for him to whom that love is imputed, a marriage in heaven is provided after his decease, whatever has been his marriage in the world. from these considerations then results this short concluding observation, that no inference is to be drawn concerning any one, from appearances of marriages or of adulteries, whereby to decide that he has conjugial love, or not; wherefore _judge not, lest ye be condemned_. matt. vii. . * * * * * . to the above i will add the following memorable relation. i was once raised, as to my spirit, into one of the societies of the angelic heaven; and instantly some of the wise men of the society came to me, and said, "what news from the earth?" i replied, "this is new; the lord has revealed arcana which in point of excellence surpass all the arcana heretofore revealed since the beginning of the church." they asked, "what are they?" i said, "the following: . that in every part of the word there is a spiritual sense corresponding to the natural sense; and that by means of the former sense the men of the church have conjunction with the lord and consociation with angels; and that the sanctity of the word resides therein. . that the correspondences are discovered of which the spiritual sense of the word consists." the angels asked, "have the inhabitants of the earth had no previous knowledge respecting correspondences?" i said, "none at all;" and that the doctrine of correspondences had been concealed for some thousands of years, ever since the time of job; and that with those who lived at that time, and before it, the science of correspondences was their chief science, whence they derived wisdom, because they derived knowledge respecting the spiritual things of heaven and the church; but that this science, on account of its being made idolatrous, was so extirpated and destroyed by the divine providence of the lord that no visible traces of it were left remaining; that nevertheless at this time it has been again discovered by the lord, in order that the men of the church may have conjunction with him, and consociation with the angels; which purposes are effected by the word, in which all things are correspondences. the angels rejoiced exceedingly to hear that it has pleased the lord to reveal this great arcanum, which had lain so deeply hid for some thousands of years; and they said it was done in order that the christian church, which is founded on the word, and is now at its end, may again revive and draw breath through heaven from the lord. they inquired whether by that science it is at this day discovered what are signified by baptism and the holy supper, which have heretofore given birth to so many various conjectures about their true meaning. i replied, that it is. . i said further, that a revelation has been made at this day by the lord concerning the life of man after death? the angels said, "what concerning the life after death? who does not know that a man lives after death?" i replied, "they know it, and they do not know it: they say that it is not the man that lives after death, but his soul, and that this lives a spirit; and the idea they have of a spirit is as of wind or ether, and that it does not live a man till after the day of the last judgement, at which time the corporeal parts, which had been left in the world, will be recollected and again fitted together into a body, notwithstanding their having been eaten by worms, mice, and fish; and that thus men will rise again." the angels said, "what a notion is this! who does not know that a man lives a man after death, with this difference alone, that he then lives a spiritual man, and that a spiritual man sees a spiritual man, as a material man sees a material man, and that they know no distinction, except that they are in a more perfect state?" . the angels inquired, "what do they know concerning our world, and concerning heaven and hell?" i said, "nothing at all; but at this day it has been revealed by the lord, what is the nature and quality of the world in which angels and spirits live, thus what is the quality of heaven and of hell; and further, that angels and spirits are in conjunction with men; besides many wonderful things respecting them." the angels were glad to hear that it has pleased the lord to reveal such things, that men may no longer be in doubt through ignorance respecting their immortality. . i further said, that at this day it has been revealed from the lord, that in your world there is a sun, different from that of our world, and that the sun of your world is pure love, and the sun of our world is pure fire; and that on this account, whatever proceeds from your sun, since it is pure love, partakes of life, and whatever proceeds from our sun, since it is pure fire, does not partake of life; and that hence is the difference between spiritual and natural, which difference, heretofore unknown, has been also revealed: hereby also is made known the source of the light which enlightens the human understanding with wisdom, and the source of the heat which kindles the human will with heat. . it has been further discovered, that there are three degrees of life, and that hence there are three heavens; and that the human mind is distinguished into those degrees, and that hence man (_homo_) corresponds to the three heavens. the angels said, "did not they know this heretofore?" i answered, "they were acquainted with a distinction of degrees in relation to greater and less, but not in relation to prior and posterior." . the angels inquired whether any other things have been revealed? i replied "several; namely, concerning the last judgement: concerning the lord, that he is god of heaven and earth; that god is one both in person and essence, in whom there is a divine trinity; and that he is the lord: also concerning the new church to be established by him, and concerning the doctrine of that church; concerning the sanctity of the sacred scripture; that the apocalypse also has been revealed, which could not be revealed even as to a single verse except by the lord; moreover concerning the inhabitants of the planets, and the earths in the universe; besides several memorable and wonderful relations from the spiritual world, whereby several things relating to wisdom have been revealed from heaven." . the angels were exceedingly rejoiced at this information; but they perceived that i was sorrowful, and asked the cause of my sorrow. i said, because the above arcana, at this day revealed by the lord, although in excellence and worth exceeding all the knowledges heretofore published, are yet considered on earth as of no value. the angels wondered at this, and besought the lord that they might be allowed to look down into the world: they did so, and lo! mere darkness was therein: and they were told, that those arcana should be written on a paper, which should be let down to the earth, and they would see a prodigy: and it was done so; and lo! the paper on which those arcana were written, was let down from heaven, and in its progress, while it was in the world of spirits, it shone as a bright star; but when it descended into the natural world, the light disappeared, and it was darkened in the degree to which it fell: and while it was let down by the angels in companies consisting of men of learning and erudition, both clergy and laity, there was heard a murmur from many, in which were these expressions, "what have we here? is it any thing or nothing? what matters it whether we know these things or not? are they not mere creatures of the brain?" and it appeared as if some of them took the paper and folded it, rolling and unrolling it with their fingers, that they might deface the writing; and it appeared as if some tore it in pieces, and some were desirous to trample it under their feet: but they were prevented by the lord from proceeding to such enormity, and charge was given to the angels to draw it back and secure it: and as the angels were affected with sadness, and thought with themselves how long this was to be the case, it was said, _for a time, and times, and half a time_, rev. xii. . . after this i conversed with the angels, informing them that somewhat further is revealed in the world by the lord. they asked, "what?" i said, "concerning love truly conjugial and its heavenly delights." the angels said, "who does not know that the delights of conjugial love exceed those of all other loves? and who cannot see, that into some love are collected all the blessednesses, satisfactions, and delights, which can possibly be conferred by the lord, and that the receptacle thereof is love truly conjugial, which is capable of receiving and perceiving them fully and sensibly?" i replied, "they do not know this, because they have not come to the lord, and lived according to his precepts, by shunning evils as sins and doing goods; and love truly conjugial with its delights is solely from the lord, and is given to those who live according to his precepts; thus it is given to those who are received into the lord's new church, which is meant in the apocalypse by the new jerusalem." to this i added, "i am in doubt whether in the world at this day they are willing to believe that this love in itself is a spiritual love, and hence grounded in religion, because they entertain only a corporeal idea respecting it." then they said to me, "write respecting it, and follow revelation; and afterwards the book written respecting it shall be sent down from us out of heaven, and we shall see whether the things contained in it are received; and at the same time whether they are willing to acknowledge, that that love is according to the state of religion with man, spiritual with the spiritual, natural with the natural, and merely carnal with adulterers." . after this i heard an outrageous murmur from below, and at the same time these words, "do miracles; and we will believe you." and i asked, "are not the things above-mentioned miracles?" answer was made, "they are not." i again asked, "what miracles then do you mean?" and it was said, "disclose and reveal things to come; and we will have faith." but i replied, "such disclosures and revelation are not granted from heaven; since in proportion as a man knows things to come, in the same proportion his reason and understanding, together with his wisdom and prudence, fall into an indolence of inexertion, grow torpid, and decay." again i asked, "what other miracles shall i do?" and a cry was made, "do such miracles as moses did in egypt." to this i answered, "possibly you may harden your hearts against them as pharaoh and the egyptians did." and reply was made, "we will not." but again i said, "assure me of a certainty, that you will not dance about a golden calf and adore it, as the posterity of jacob did within a month after they had seen the whole mount sinai on fire, and heard jehovah himself speaking out of the fire, thus after the greatest of all miracles;" (a golden calf in the spiritual sense denotes the pleasure of the flesh;) and reply was made from below, "we will not be like the posterity of jacob." but at that instant i heard it said to them from heaven, "if ye believe not moses and the prophets,--that is, the word of the lord, ye will not believe from miracles, any more than the sons of jacob did in the wilderness, nor any more than they believed when they saw with their own eyes the miracles done by the lord himself, while he was in the world." general index. part the first. preliminary relations respecting the joys of heaven and nuptials there, n. - . on marriages in heaven, n. - . a man lives a man after death, n. - . in this case a male is a male, and a female a female, n. , . every one's peculiar love remains with him after death, n. - . the love of the sex especially remains; and with those who go to heaven, which is the case with all who become spiritual here on earth, conjugial love remains, n. , . these things fully confirmed by ocular demonstration, n. . consequently there are marriages in heaven, n. . spiritual nuptials are to be understood by the lord's words, "after the resurrection they are not given in marriage," n. . on the state of married partners after death, n. - . the love of the sex remains with every man after death, according to its interior quality; that is, such as it had been in his interior will and thought in the world, n. , . conjugial love in like manner remains such as it has been anteriorly; that is, such as it had been in the man's interior will and thought in the world, n. . married partners most commonly meet after death, know each other, again associate, and for a time live together: this is the case in the first state, thus while they are in externals as in the world, n. *. but successively, as they put off their externals and enter into their internals, they perceive what had been the quality of their love and inclination for each other, and consequently whether they can live together or not, n. *. if they can live together, they remain married partners; but if they cannot, they separate, sometimes the husband from the wife, sometimes the wife from the husband, and sometimes each from the other, n. . in this case there is given to the man a suitable wife, and to the woman a suitable husband, n. . married pairs enjoy similar communications with each other as in the world, but more delightful and blessed, yet without prolification; in the place of which they experience spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom, n. , . this is the case with those who go to heaven; but it is otherwise with those who go to hell, n. , . on love truly conjugial, n. - . there exists a love truly conjugial, which at this day is so rare, that it is not known what is its quality, and scarcely that it exists, n. , . this love originates in the marriage of good and truth, n. , . there is a correspondence of this love with the marriage of the lord and the church, n. , . this love, from its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, above every other love imparted by the lord to the angels of heaven and the men of the church, n. . it is also the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves, n. - . into this love are collected all joys and delights from first to last, n. , . none, however, come into this love, and can remain in it, but those who approach the lord, and love the truths of the church, and practise its goods, n. - . this love was the love of loves with the ancients, who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages, n. . on the origin of conjugial love as grounded in the marriage of good and truth n. - . good and truth are the universals of creation, and thence are in all created things; but they are in created subjects according to the form of each, n. - . there is neither solitary good nor solitary truth; but in all cases they are conjoined, n. . there is the truth of good, and from this the good of truth; or truth grounded in good, and good grounded in that truth; and in those two principles is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into a one, n. , . in the subjects of the animal kingdom, the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is male (or masculine); and the good of that truth, or good grounded in that truth, is female (or feminine), n. , . from the influx of the marriage of good and truth from the lord, the love of the sex and conjugial love are derived, n. , . the love of the sex belongs to the external or natural man; and hence it is common to every animal, n. . but conjugial love belongs to the internal or spiritual man; and hence this love is peculiar to man, n. , . with man conjugial love is in the love of the sex as a gem in its matrix, n. . the love of the sex with man is not the origin of conjugial love, but its first rudiment; thus it is like an external natural principle, in which an internal spiritual principle is implanted, n. . during the implantation of conjugial love, the love of the sex inverts itself, and becomes the chaste love of the sex, n. . the male and the female were created to be the essential form of the marriage of good and truth, n. . married partners are that form in their inmost principles, and thence in what is derived from those principles, in proportion as the interiors of their minds are opened, n. , . on the marriage of the lord and the church, and its correspondence, n. - . the lord in the word is called the bridegroom and husband, and the church the bride and wife; and the conjunction of the lord with the church, and the reciprocal conjunction of the church with the lord, is called a marriage, n. . the lord is also called a father, and the church, a mother, n. , . the offspring derived from the lord as a husband and father, and from the church as a wife and mother, are all spiritual; and in the spiritual sense of the word are understood by sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, and by other names of relations, n. . the spiritual offspring which are born from the lord's marriage with the church, are truths and goods; truths, from which are derived understanding, perception, and all thought; and goods, from which are derived love, charity, and all affection, n. . from the marriage of good and truth, which proceeds from the lord in the way of influx, man receives truth, and the lord conjoins good thereto; and thus the church is formed by the lord with man, n. - . the husband does not represent the lord, and the wife the church; because both together, the husband and the wife, constitute the church, n. . therefore there is not a correspondence of the husband with the lord, and of the wife with the church, in the marriages of the angels in the heavens, and of men on earth, n. . but there is a correspondence with conjugial love, semination, prolification, the love of infants, and similar things which exist in marriages and are derived from them, n. . the word is the medium of conjunction, because it is from the lord, and thereby is the lord, n. . the church is from the lord, and exists with those who come to him and live according to his precepts, n. . conjugial love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man, n. . and as the church is from the lord, conjugial love is also from him, n. . on the chaste principle and the non-chaste, n. - . the chaste principle and the non-chaste are predicated only of marriages and of such things as relate to marriages, n. , . the chaste principle is predicated only of monogamical marriages, or of the marriage of one man with one wife, n. . the christian conjugial principle alone is chaste, n. . love truly conjugial is essential chastity, n. . all the delights of love truly conjugial, even the ultimate, are chaste, n. . with those who are made spiritual by the lord, conjugial love is more and more purified and rendered chaste, n. , . the chastity of marriage exists by a total renunciation of whoredoms from a principle of religion, n. - . chastity cannot be predicated of infants, or of boys and girls, or of young men and maidens before they feel in themselves a love of the sex, n. . chastity cannot be predicated of eunuchs so made, n. . chastity cannot be predicated of those who do not believe adulteries to be evils in regard to religion; and still less of those who do not believe them to be hurtful to society, n. . chastity cannot be predicated of those who abstain from adulteries only for various external reasons, n. . chastity cannot be predicated of those who believe marriages to be unchaste, n. . chastity cannot be predicated of those who have renounced marriage by vows of perpetual celibacy, unless there be and remain in them the love of a life truly conjugial, n. . a state of marriage is to be preferred to a state of celibacy, n. . on the conjunction of souls and minds by marriage, which is meant by the lord's words,--they are no longer two but one flesh, n. *- . from creation there is implanted in each sex a faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be joined together as it were into a one, n. . conjugial love conjoins two souls, and thence two minds, into a one, n. . the will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man with the will of the wife, n. . the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife, but inconstant and alternate with the man, n. . conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom, n. . this conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage; and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, it is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity, n. . the conjunction of the wife with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but with his moral wisdom from without, n. - . for the sake of this conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of her husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them, n. . wives conceal this perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together, and the happiness of life may be secured, n. . this perception is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife, n. . the wife from a principle of love is continually thinking about the man's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself; it is otherwise with the man, n. . the wife conjoins herself to the man by applications to the desires of his will, n. . the wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him, n. . the wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their mutual spiritual love, n. . thus the wife receives in herself the image of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of his affections, n. . there are duties proper to the husband, and others proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright, n. , . these duties also, according to mutual aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time constitute one house, n. . married partners, according to these conjunctions, become one man more and more, n. . those who are principled in love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, as it were one flesh, n. . love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavour towards conjunction in the bosoms, and thence in the body, n. . the states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do every good to each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness, satisfaction, delight, and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of these is derived heavenly felicity, n. . these things can only exist in the marriage of one man with one wife, n. . on the change of the state of life which takes place with men and women by marriage, n. - the state of a man's life, from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity, is continually changing, n. . in like manner a man's internal form, which is that of his spirit, is continually changing n. . these changes differ in the case of men and of women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men, n. . with men there is an elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women an elevation of the mind into superior heat; and the woman is made sensible of the delights of her heat in the man's light, n. , . with both men and women, the states of life before marriage are different from what they are afterwards, n. . with married partners the states of life after marriage are changed, and succeed each other according to the conjunctions of their minds by conjugial love, n. . marriage also induces other forms in the souls and minds of married partners, n. . the woman is actually formed into a wife, according to the description in the book of creation, n. . this formation is effected on the part of the wife by secret means: and this is meant by the woman's being created while the man slept, n. . this formation on the part of the wife, is effected by the conjunction of her own will with the internal will of the man, n. . the end herein is, that the will of both may become one, and that thus both may become one man, n. . this formation (on the part of the wife) is effected by an appropriation of the affections of the husband, n. . this formation (on the part of the wife) is effected by a reception of the propagations of the soul of the husband, with the delight arising from her desire to be the love of her husband's wisdom, n. . thus a maiden is formed into a wife, and a youth into a husband, n. . in the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom there exists love truly conjugial, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband, n. . thus also their forms are successively perfected and ennobled from within, n. . children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from them the conjugial principle of good and truth, whence they have an inclination and faculty, if sons, to perceive the things relating to wisdom; and if daughters, to love those things which wisdom teaches, n. - . the reason of this is, because the soul of the offspring is from the father, and its clothing from the mother, n. . universals respecting marriages, n. - . the sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch, n. . with those who are in love truly conjugial, the faculty of growing wise increases; but with those who are not, it decreases, n. , . with those who are in love truly conjugial, the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those who are not, it decreases, n. . with those who are in love truly conjugial, conjunction of minds increases, and therewith friendship; but with those who are not, they both decrease, n. . those who are in love truly conjugial, continually desire to be one man; but those who are not in conjugial love, desire to be two, n. . those who are in love truly conjugial, in marriage have respect to what is eternal; but with those who are not, the case is reversed, n. . conjugial love resides with chaste wives; but still their love depends on the husbands, n. *. wives love the bonds of marriage, if the men do, n. . the intelligence of women is in itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; but the intelligence of men is in itself grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of licentiousness, n. . wives are in no excitation as men are; but they have a state of preparation for reception, n. . men have abundant store according to the love of propagating the truths of wisdom, and to the love of doing uses, n. . determination is in the good pleasure of the husband, n. . the conjugial sphere flows from the lord through heaven into everything in the universe, even to its ultimates, n. . this sphere is received by the female sex, and through that is transferred to the male sex, n. . where there is love truly conjugial, this sphere is received by the wife, and only through her by the husband, n. . where there is love not conjugial, this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband through her, n. . love truly conjugial may exist with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other, n. . there are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external, with married partners, n. . various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes, n. . the lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial, and if not on earth he yet provides them in heaven, n. . a man, according to the deficiency and loss of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast, n. . on the causes of coldness, separation, and divorce in marriages, n. - . there are spiritual heat and spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold is the privation thereof, n. . spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house, n. . there are several successive causes of cold, some internal, some external, and some accidental, n. . internal causes of cold are from religion, n. , . of internal causes of cold the first is the rejection of religion by each of the parties, n. . of internal causes of cold the second is that one of the parties has religion and not the other, n. . of internal causes of cold the third is, that one of the parties is of one religion and the other of another, n. . of internal causes of cold the fourth is, the falsity of the religion, n. . with many, the above-mentioned are causes of internal cold, but not at the same time of external, n. , . there are also several external causes of cold, the first of which is dissimilitude of minds and manner, n. . of external causes of cold the second is, that conjugial love is believed to be the same as adulterous love, only that the latter is not allowed by law, but the former is, n. . of external causes of cold the third is, a striving for preeminence between married partners, n. . of external causes of cold the fourth is, a want of determination to any employment or business, whence comes wandering passion, n. . of external causes of cold the fifth is, inequality of external rank and condition, n. . there are also causes of separation, n. . the first cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated state of mind, n. . the second cause of legitimate separation is a vitiated state of body, n. . the third cause of legitimate separation is impotence before marriage, n. . adultery is the cause of divorce, n. . there are also several accidental causes of cold; the first of which is, that enjoyment is common (or cheap), because continually allowed, n. . of accidental causes of cold the second is, that living with a married partner, from a covenant and contract, seems forced and not free, n. . of accidental causes of cold the third is, affirmation on the part of the wife, and her talking incessantly about love, n. . of accidental causes of cold the fourth is, the man's continually thinking that his wife is willing, and on the other hand, the wife's thinking that the man is not willing, n. . as cold is in the mind, it is also in the body; and according to the increase of that cold, the externals also of the body are closed, n. . on the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in marriages, n. - . in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and are apparent, n. . in the spiritual world all are conjoined according to internal, but not according to external affections, unless these act in unity with the internal, n. . it is the external affections, according to which matrimony is generally contracted in the world, n. . but in case they are not influenced by internal affections which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are loosed in the house, n. . nevertheless those bonds must continue in the world till the decease of one of the parties, n. . in cases of matrimony, in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are external affections, which assume a semblance of the internal, and tend to consociate, n. . thence come apparent love, friendship, and favor between married partners, n. . these appearances are assumed conjugial semblances, and they are commendable, because useful and necessary, n. . these assumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a spiritual man conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and judgement, n. . for various reasons, these assumed conjugial semblances with natural men are founded in prudence, n. . they are for the sake of amendment and accommodation, n. . they are for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid, n. . they are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education of children, n. . they are for the sake of peace in the house, n. . they are for the sake of reputation out of the house, n. . they are for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or from his or her relations, and thus from the fear of losing such favors, n. . they are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and thereby of avoiding disgrace, n. . they are for the sake of reconciliations, n. . in case favor does not cease with the wife, when faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friendship resembling conjugial friendship when the parties grow old, n. . there are various species of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other, n. . in the world there are infernal marriages between persons who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends, n. . on betrothings and nuptials, n. - . the right of choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman, n. . the man ought to court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the woman the man, n. . the woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself before she consents, n. , . after a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given, n. . consent is to be secured and established by solemn betrothing, n. . by betrothing, each party is prepared for conjugial love, n. . by betrothing, the mind of the one is united to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit previous to a marriage of the body, n. . this is the case with those who think chastely of marriages; but it is otherwise with those who think unchastely of them, n. . within the time of betrothing it is not allowable to be connected corporeally, n. . when the time of betrothing is completed, the nuptials ought to take place, n. . previous to the celebration of the nuptials, the conjugial covenant is to be ratified in the presence of witnesses, n. . marriage is to be consecrated by a priest, n. . the nuptials are to be celebrated with festivity, n. . after the nuptials, the marriage of the spirit is made also the marriage of the body, and thereby a full marriage, n. . such is the order of conjugial love with its modes, from its first heat to its first torch, n. . conjugial love precipitated without order and the modes thereof, burns up the marrows, and is consumed, n. . the states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; nevertheless in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural, n. . there are successive and simultaneous order, and the latter is from the former and according to it, n. . on repeated marriages, n. - . after the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends on the preceding conjugial love, n. . after the death of a married partner, again to contract wedlock, depends also on the state of marriage in which the parties had lived, n. . with those who have not been in love truly conjugial, there is no obstacle or hindrance to their again contracting wedlock, n. . those who had lived together in love truly conjugial, are unwilling to marry again, except for reasons separate from conjugial love, n. . the state of a marriage of a youth with a maiden differs from that of a youth with a widow, n. . also the state of marriage of a widower with a maiden differs from that of a widower with a widow, n. . the varieties and diversities of these marriages, as to love and its attributes, are innumerable, n. . the state of a widow is more grievous that that of a widower n. . on polygamy, n. - . love truly conjugial can only exist with one wife, consequently neither can friendship, confidence, ability truly conjugial, and such a conjunction of minds that two may be one flesh, n. , . thus celestial blessedness, spiritual satisfactions, and natural delights, which from the beginning were provided for those who are in love truly conjugial, can only exist with one wife, n. . all those things can only exist from the lord alone; and they do not exist with any but those who come to him alone, and live according to his commandments, n. . consequently love truly conjugial with its felicities can only exist with those who are of the christian church, n. . therefore a christian is not allowed to marry more than one wife, n. . if a christian marries several wives, he commits not only natural but also spiritual adultery, n. . the israelitish nation was permitted to marry several wives, because they had not the christian church, and consequently love truly conjugial could not exist with them, n. . at this day the mahometans are permitted to marry several wives, because they do not acknowledge the lord jesus christ to be one with jehovah the father, and thereby to be the god of heaven and earth, and hence cannot receive love truly conjugial, n. . the mahometan heaven is out of the christian heaven, and is divided into two heavens, the inferior and the superior; and only those are elevated into their superior heaven, who renounce concubines, and live with one wife, and acknowledge our lord as equal to god the father, to whom is given dominion over heaven and earth, n. - . polygamy is lasciviousness, n. . conjugial chastity, purity, and sanctity, cannot exist with polygamists, n. . a polygamist, so long as he remains such, cannot become spiritual, n. . polygamy is not sin with those who live in it from a religious notion, n. . polygamy is not sin with those who are in ignorance respecting the lord, n. , . of these, although polygamists, such are saved as acknowledge a god, and from a religious notion live according to the civil laws of justice, n. . but none either of the latter or of the former can be associated with the angels in the christian heavens, n. . on jealousy, n. - . zeal considered in itself is like the ardent fire of love, n. . the burning or flame of that love, which is zeal, is a spiritual burning or flame, arising from an infestation and assault of the love, n. - . the quality of a man's zeal is according to the quality of his love; thus it differs according as the love is good or evil, n. . the zeal of a good love and the zeal of an evil love, are alike in externals, but altogether different in internals, n. , . the zeal of a good love in its internals contains a hidden store of love and friendship: but the zeal of an evil love in its internals contains a hidden store of hatred and revenge, n. , . the zeal of conjugial love is called jealousy, n. . jealousy is like an ardent fire against those who infest love exercised towards a married partner, and like a terrible fear for the loss of that love, n. . there is spiritual jealousy with monogamists, and natural with polygamists, n. , . jealousy with those married partners who tenderly love each other, is a just grief grounded in sound reason, lest conjugial love should be divided, and should thereby perish, n. , . jealousy, with married partners who do not love each other, is grounded in several causes; arising in some instances from various mental weaknesses, n. - . in some instances there is not any jealousy; and this also from various causes, n. . there is a jealousy also in regard to concubines, but not such as in regard to wives, n. . jealousy likewise exists among beasts and birds, n. . the jealousy of men and husbands is different from that of women and wives, n. . on the conjunction of conjugial love with the love of infants, n. - . two universal spheres proceed from the lord to preserve the universe in its created state; of which the one is the sphere of procreating, and the other the sphere of protecting the things procreated, n. . these two universal spheres make a one with the sphere of conjugial love and the sphere of the love of infants, n. . these two spheres universally and singularly flow into all things of heaven and all things of the world, from first to last, n. - . the sphere of the love of infants is a sphere of protection and support of those who cannot protect and support themselves, n. . this sphere affects both the evil and the good, and disposes every one to love, protect, and support his offspring from his own love, n. . this sphere principally affects the female sex, thus mothers; and the male sex, or fathers, by derivation from them, n. . this sphere is also a sphere of innocence and peace (from the lord,) n. . the sphere of innocence flows into infants, and through them into the parents, and affects them, n. . it also flows into the souls of the parents, and unites with the same sphere with the infants; and it is principally insinuated by means of the touch, n. , . in the degree in which innocence retires from infants, affection and conjunction also abate, and this successively, even to separation, n. . a state of rational innocence and peace with parents towards infants, is grounded in the circumstance, that they know nothing and can do nothing from themselves, but from others, especially from the father and mother; and this state successively retires, in proportion as they know and have ability from themselves, and not from others, n. . the sphere of the love of procreating advances in order from the end through causes into effects, and makes periods; whereby creation is preserved in the state foreseen and provided for, n. , . the love of infants descends, and does not ascend, n. . wives have one state of love before conception, and another state after, even to the birth, n. . with parents conjugial love is conjoined with the love of infants by spiritual causes, and thence by natural, n. . the love of infants and children is different with spiritual married partners from what it is with natural, n. - . with the spiritual, that love is from what is interior or prior, but with the natural, from what is exterior or posterior, n. . in consequence hereof that love prevails with married partners who mutually love each other, and also with those who do not at all love each other, n. . the love of infants remains after death, especially with women, n. . infants are educated under the lord's auspices by such women, and grow in stature and intelligence as in the world, n. , . it is there provided by the lord, that with those infants the innocence of infancy becomes the innocence of wisdom, (and thus they become angels) n. , . part the second. preliminary note by the editor. on the opposition of adulterous love and conjugial love, n. - . it is not known what adulterous love is, unless it be known what conjugial love is, n. . adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, n. . adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, as the natural man viewed in himself is opposed to the spiritual man, n. . adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love, as the connubial connection of what is evil and false is opposed to the marriage of good and truth, n. , . hence adulterous love is opposed to conjugial love as hell is to heaven, n. . the impurity of hell is from adulterous love, and the purity of heaven from conjugial love, n. . in the church, the impurity and the purity are similarly circumstanced, n. . adulterous love more and more makes a man (_homo_) not a man (_homo_), and a man (_vir_) not a man (_vir_); and conjugial love makes a man (_homo_) more and more a man (_homo_) and a man (_vir_), n. , . there are a sphere of adulterous love and a sphere of conjugial love, n. . the sphere of adulterous love ascends from hell, and the sphere of conjugial love descends from heaven, n. . in each world those two spheres meet, but do not unite, n. . between those two spheres there is an equilibrium, and man is in it, n. . a man can turn himself to whichever sphere he pleases; but so far as he turns himself to the one, so far he turns himself from the other, n. . each sphere brings with it delights, n. . the delights of adulterous love commence from the flesh, and are of the flesh even in the spirit; but the delights of conjugial love commence in the spirit, and are of the spirit even in the flesh, n. , , the delights of adulterous love are the pleasures of insanity; but the delights of conjugial love are the delights of wisdom, n. , . on fornication, n. *- . fornication is of the love of the sex, n. . the love of the sex, from which fornication is derived, commences when a youth begins to think and act from his own understanding, and his voice to be masculine, n. . fornication is of the natural man, n. . fornication is lust, but not the lust of adultery, n. , . with some men, the love of the sex cannot without hurt be totally checked from going forth into fornication, n. . therefore in populous cities public stews are tolerated, n. . fornication is light, so far as it looks to conjugial love, and gives this love the preference, n. . the lust of fornication is grievous, so far as it looks to adultery, n. . the lust of fornication is more grievous as it verges to the desire of varieties and of defloration, n. . the sphere of the lust of fornication, such as it is in the beginning, is a middle sphere between the sphere of adulterous love and the sphere of conjugial love, and makes an equilibrium, n. . care is to be taken, lest by immoderate and inordinate fornications conjugial love be destroyed, n. . inasmuch as the conjugial principle of one man with one wife is the jewel of human life, and the reservoir of the christian religion, n. , . with those who, from various reasons, cannot as yet enter into marriage, and from their passion for the sex, cannot moderate their lusts, this conjugial principle may be preserved, if the vague love of the sex be confined to one mistress, n. . keeping a mistress is preferable to vague amours, provided only one be kept, and she be neither a maiden nor a married woman, and the love of the mistress be kept separate from conjugial love, n. . on concubinage, n. - . there are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, the one conjointly with a wife, the other apart from a wife, n. . concubinage conjointly with a wife, is altogether unlawful for christians, and detestable, n. . it is polygamy, which has been condemned, and is to be condemned by the christian world, n. . it is an adultery whereby the conjugial principle, which is the most precious jewel of the christian life, is destroyed, n. . concubinage apart from a wife, when it is engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and truly excusatory, is not unlawful, n. . the legitimate causes of this concubinage are the legitimate causes of divorce, while the wife is nevertheless retained at home, n. , . the just causes of this concubinage are the just causes of separation from the bed, n. . of the excusatory causes of this concubinage some are real and some not, n. . the really excusatory causes are such as are grounded in what is just, n. , . the excusatory causes which are not real are such as are not grounded in what is just, although in the appearance of what is just, n. . those who, from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, are engaged in this concubinage, may at the same time be principled in conjugial love, n. . while this concubinage continues, actual connection with a wife is not allowable, n. . on adulteries and their genera and degrees, n. - . there are three genera of adulteries,--simple, duplicate, and triplicate, n. . simple adultery is that of an unmarried man with another's wife, or of an unmarried woman with another's husband, n. , . duplicate adultery is that of a husband with another's wife, or of a wife with another's husband, n. , . triplicate adultery is with relations by blood, n. . there are four degrees of adulteries, according to which they have their predications, their charges of blame, and after death their imputation, n. . adulteries of the first degree are adulteries of ignorance, which are committed by those who cannot as yet, or cannot at all, consult the understanding, and thence check them, n. . in such cases adulteries are mild, n. . adulteries of the second degree are adulteries of lust, which are committed by those who indeed are able to consult the understanding, but from accidental causes at the moment are not able, n. . adulteries committed by such persons are imputatory, according as the understanding afterwards favors them or not, n. . adulteries of the third degree are adulteries of the reason, which are committed by those who with the understanding confirm themselves in the persuasion that they are not evils of sin, n. . the adulteries committed by such persons are grievous, and are imputed to them according to confirmations, n. . adulteries of the fourth degree are adulteries of the will, which are committed by those who make them lawful and pleasing, and who do not think them of importance enough to consult the understanding respecting them, n. . the adulteries committed by these persons are exceedingly grievous, and are imputed to them as evils of purpose, and remain in them as guilt, n. . adulteries of the third and fourth degree are evils of sin, according to the quantity and quality of understanding and will in them, whether they are actually committed or not, n. . adulteries grounded in purpose of the will, and adulteries grounded in confirmation of the understanding, render men natural, sensual, and corporeal, n. , . and this to such a degree, that at length they reject from themselves all things of the church and of religion, n. . nevertheless they have the powers of human rationality like other men, n. . but they use that rationality while they are in externals, but abuse it while they are in externals, n. . on the lust of defloration, n. - . the state of a virgin or undeflowered woman before and after marriage, n. . virginity is the crown of chastity and the certificate of conjugial love, n. . defloration, without a view to marriage as an end, is the villany of a robber, n. . the lot of those who have confirmed themselves in the persuasion that the lust of defloration is not an evil of sin, after death is grievous, n. . on the lust of varieties, n. - . by the lust of varieties is meant the entirely dissolute lust of adultery, n. . that lust is love, and at the same time loathing, in regard to the sex, n. . the lot of those (who have been addicted to that lust) after death is miserable, since they have not the inmost principle of life, n. . on the lust of violation, n. , . on the lust of seducing innocencies, n. , . on the correspondence of adulteries with the violation of spiritual marriage, n. - . on the imputation of each love, adulterous and conjugial, n. - . the evil in which every one is principled, is imputed to him after death; and so also the good, n. . the transference of the good of one person into another is impossible, n. . imputation, if by it is meant such transference, is a frivolous term, n. . evil or good is imputed to every one according to the quality of his will and of his understanding, n. - . thus adulterous love is imputed to every one, n. . thus also conjugial love is imputed to every one, n. . index to the memorable relations. conjugial love seen in its form with two conjugial partners, who were conveyed down from heaven in a chariot, n. , . three novitiates from the world receive information respecting marriages in heaven, n. . on the chaste love of the sex, n. . on the temple of wisdom, where the causes of beauty in the female sex are discussed by wise ones, n. . on conjugial love with those who lived in the golden age, n. . on conjugial love with those who lived in the silver age, n. . on conjugial love with those who lived in the copper age, n. . on conjugial love with those who lived in the iron age, n. . on conjugial love with those who lived after those ages, n. , . on the glorification of the lord by the angels in the heavens, on account of his advent, and of conjugial love, which is to be restored at that time, n. . on the precepts of the new church, n. . on the origin of conjugial love, and of its virtue or potency, discussed by an assembly of the wise from europe, n. , . on a paper let down from heaven to the earth, on which was written, the marriage of good and truth, n. . what the image and likeness of god is, and what the tree of life, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, n. - . two angels out of the third heaven give information respecting conjugial love there, n. . on the ancients in greece, who inquired of strangers, what news from the earth? also, on men found in the woods, n. *- *. on the golden shower and hall, where the wives said various things respecting conjugial love, n. *. the opinion of the ancient sophi in greece respecting the life of men after death, n. . on the nuptial garden called adramandoni, where there was a conversation respecting the influx of conjugial love, n. . a declaration by the ancient sophi in greece respecting employments in heaven, n. . on the golden shower and hall, where the wives again conversed respecting conjugial love, n. . on the judges who were influenced by friendship, of whom it was exclaimed, o how just! n. . on the reasoners, of whom it was exclaimed, o how learned! n. . on the confirmatory, of whom it was exclaimed, o how wise! n. . on those who are in the love of ruling from the love of self, n. - . on those who are in the love of possessing all things of the world, n. , . on lucifer, n. . on conjugial cold, n. . on the seven wives sitting on a bed of roses, who said various things respecting conjugial love, n. . observations by the same wives on the prudence of women, n. . a discussion what the soul is, and what is its quality, n. . on the garden, where there was a conversation respecting the divine providence in regard to marriages, n. . on the distinction between what is spiritual and what is natural, n. - . discussions, whether a woman who loves herself for her beauty, loves her husband; and whether a man who loves himself for his intelligence, loves his wife, n. , . on self-prudence, n. . on the perpetual faculty of loving a wife in heaven, n. , . a discussion, whether nature is of life, or life of nature; also respecting the centre and expanse of life and nature, n. . orators delivering their sentiments on the origin of beauty in the female sex, n. - . that all things which exist and take place in the natural world, are from the lord through the spiritual world, n. - . on the angels who were ignorant of the nature and meaning of adultery, n. . on delight, which is the universal of heaven and hell, n. . on an adulterer who was taken up into heaven, and there saw things inverted n. . on three priests who were accused by adulterers, n. . that determined and confirmed adulterers do not acknowledge anything of heaven and the church, n. , . on the new things revealed by the lord, n. . index to conjugial love. * * * * * _the numbers refer to the paragraphs, and not to the pages_. * * * * * abomination of desolation. matt. xxiv. , signifies the falsification and deprivation of all truth, . absence in the spiritual world, its cause, . action.--in all conjunction by love there must be action, reception, and reaction, . from the will, which in itself is spiritual, actions flow, . activity is one of the moral virtues which respect life, and enter into it, . the activity of love makes a sense of delight, . the influx of love and wisdom from the lord is the essential activity from which comes all delight, . from conjugial love, as from a fountain, issue the activities and alacrities of life, . actors.--in heaven, out of the cities, are exhibited stage entertainments, wherein the actors represent the various virtues and graces of moral life, , . actually, , , , &c. _obs._--this expression is used to distinguish _actualiter_ from _realiter_, of which the author also makes use; thus between _actually_ and _really_, there is the same distinction as between _actual_ taken in a philosophical sense, and _real_. acution.--the spiritual purification of conjugial love may be compared with the purification of natural spirits effected by chemists, and called acution, . adam.--in what his sin consisted, . error of those who believe that adam was wise and did good from himself, and that this was his state of integrity, . the evil in which each man is born, is not derived hereditarily from adam, but from his parents, . if it is believed that the guilt of adam is inscribed on all the human race, it is because few reflect on any evil in themselves, and thence know it, . adam and man are one expression in the hebrew tongue, *. adjunction.--the union of the soul and mind of one married partner to those of the other, is an actual adjunction, and cannot possibly be dissolved, . this adjunction is close and near according to the love, and approaching to contact with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, . it may be called spiritual cohabitation, which takes place with married partners who love each other tenderly, however remote their bodies may be from each other, . administrations in the spiritual world, . the discharge of them is attended with delight, . administrators.--in the spiritual world there are administrators, . adorations.--why the ancients in their adorations turned their faces to the rising sun, . adramandoni is the name of a garden in the spiritual world; this word signifies the delight of conjugial love, . adulterers.--as soon as a man actually becomes an adulterer, heaven is closed to him, . adulterers become more and more not men, . there are four kinds of adulterers:-- st, adulterers from a purposed principle are those who are so from the lust of the will; d, adulterers from a confirmed principle are those who are so from the persuasion of the understanding; d, adulterers from a deliberate principle are those who are so from the allurements of the senses; th, adulterers from a non-deliberate principle are those who are not in the faculty or not in the liberty of consulting the understanding, . those of the two former kinds become more and more not men, but the two latter kinds become men as they recede from those errors, . reasonings of adulterers, . every unclean principle of hell is from adulterers, , . whoever is in spiritual adultery is also in natural adultery, . adulterers from a deliberate principle and from a non-deliberate principle, . adultery, by, is meant scortation opposite to marriage, . the horrible nature of adultery, . spiritual adultery is the connection of evil and the false, . adulteries are the complex of all evils, . why hell in the total is called adultery, . there are three genera of adulteries, simple, duplicate, and triplicate, , . there are four degrees of adulteries, according to which they have their predications, their charges of blame, and after death, their imputations, - :-- st, adulteries of ignorance, &c., , ; d, adulteries of lust, , ; d, adulteries of the reason or understanding, &e., , ; th, adulteries of the will, , . the distinction between adulteries of the will and those of the understanding, . the adultery of the reason is less grievous than the adultery of the will, .--accessories of adultery and aggravations of it, . adultery is the cause of divorce, . representative of adultery in its business, . affect. _obs._--this word signifies to impress with affection either good or bad. affections which are merely derivations of the love, form the will, and make and compose it, . every affection of love belongs to the will, for what a man loves, that he also wills, . every affection has its delight, . affections, with the thoughts thence derived, appertain to the mind, and sensations, with the pleasures thence derived, appertain to the body, . in the natural world, almost all are capable of being joined together as to external affections, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and appear, . in the spiritual world all are conjoined as to internal affections, but not according to external, unless these act in unity with the internal, . the affections according to which wedlock is commonly contracted in the world, are external, ; but in that case they are not influenced by internal affections, which conjoin minds, the bonds of wedlock are loosed in the house, . by internal affections are meant the mutual inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from heaven; whereas by external affections are meant the inclinations which influence the mind of each of the parties from the world, . the external affections by death follow the body, and are entombed with it, those only remaining which cohere with internal principles, . women were created by the lord affections of the wisdom of men, . their affection of wisdom is essential beauty, . all the angels are affections of love in a human form, : the ruling affection itself shines forth from their faces; and from their affection, and according to it, the kind and quality of their raiment is derived and determined, . affliction, great, matt. xxiv. , signifies the state of the church infested by evils and falses, . afflux, . _obs._--afflux is that which flows _upon_ or _towards_, and remains generally in the external, without penetrating interiorly, _a.c._, n. . efflux is that which flows _from_, and is generally predicated of that which proceeds from below upwards. influx is that which flows _into_, or which penetrates interiorly, provided it meets with no obstacle; it is generally used when speaking of that which comes from above, thus from heaven, that is, from the lord through heaven. africans more intelligent than the learned of europe, . age.--the common states of a man's life are called infancy, childhood, youth, manhood, and old age, . unequal ages induce coldness in marriage, . in the heavens there is no inequality of age, all there are in one flower of youth, and continue therein to eternity, . golden age, . silver age or period, . copper age, . iron age, . age of iron mixed with miry clay, . age of gold, , ; of silver, ; of copper, ; of iron, ; of iron mixed with clay, . the ages of gold, silver, and copper are anterior to the time of which we have any historical records, . men of the golden age knew and acknowledged that they were forms receptive of life from god, and that on this account wisdom was inscribed on their souls and hearts, and hence that they saw truth from the light of truth, and by truths perceived good from the delight of the love thereof, *. all those who lived in the silver age had intelligence grounded in spiritual truths, and thence in natural truths, . aid, mutual, of husband and wife, . alacrity is one of those moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . alcohol.--wisdom purified may be compared with alcohol, which is a spirit highly rectified, . alcoran, . alpha, the, and the omega.--why the lord is so called, . alphabet in the spiritual world, each letter of it is significative, . ambassador in the spiritual world discussing with two priests on the subject of human prudence, . ancients.--of marriages among the ancients, and the most ancient, , . the most ancient people in this world did not acknowledge any other wisdom than the wisdom of life; but the ancient people acknowledged the wisdom of reason as wisdom, . precepts concerning marriages left by the ancient people to their posterity, . angels are men; their form is the human form, . they appear to man when the eyes of his spirit are opened, . all the angels are affections of love in the human form, . angels who are loves, and thence wisdoms, are called celestial, and with them conjugial love is celestial; angels who are wisdoms, and thence loves, are called spiritual, and similar thereto is their conjugial principle, . there are among the angels some of a simple, and some of a wise character, and it is the part of the wise to judge, when the simple, from their simplicity and ignorance, are doubtful about what is just, or through mistake wander from it, . every angel has conjugial love with its virtue, ability, and delights, according to his application to the genuine use in which he is, . every man has angels associated to him from the lord, and such is his conjunction with them, that if they were taken away, he would instantly fall to pieces, . anger.--why it is attributed to the lord, . animals.--wonderful things conspicuous in the productions of animals, . every animal is led by the love implanted in his science, as a blind person is led through the streets by a dog, . see _beasts_. animus.--by _animus_ is meant the affections, and thence the external inclinations, which are principally insinuated after birth by education, social intercourse, and consequent habits of life, . _obs._--these affections and inclinations constitute a sort of inferior mind. antipathy.--in the spiritual world, antipathies are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the discourse, and the gesture, . it is otherwise in the natural world, where antipathies may be concealed, . among certain married partners in the natural world, there is an antipathy in their internals, and an apparent sympathy in their externals, . antipathy derives its origin from the opposition of spiritual spheres which emanate from subjects, . antiquity.--memorable things of antiquity seen in heaven amongst a nation that lived in the copper age, . aorta, . apes.--of those in hell who appear like apes, . apocalypse.--a voice from heaven commanded swedenborg to apply to the work begun in the apocalypse, and finish it within two years, , . apoplexy.--permanent infirmity, arising from apoplexy, a cause of separation, , . appearance.--spaces in the spiritual world are appearances; distances, also, and presences are appearances, . the appearances of distances and presences there, are according to the proximities, relationships, and affinities of love, . those things which, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual, are not in space, but in the appearances of space, . _obs._--those things which in the spiritual world are present to the sight of spirits and angels are called _appearances_; those things are called appearances, because, corresponding to the interiors of spirits and of angels, they vary according to the states of those interiors. there are real appearances and appearances unreal; the unreal appearances are those which do not correspond to the interiors. see _heaven and hell_. appropriation of evil how it is effected, . arcana of wisdom respecting conjugial love; it is important that they should be discovered, . arcana of conjugial love concealed with wives, , *, . arcanum relative to conception, which takes place though the souls of two married partners be disjoined, . arcanum respecting the actual habitation of every man in some society, either of heaven or hell, . arcana known to the ancients, and at this day lost, . arcana revealed, which exceed in excellence all the arcana heretofore revealed since the beginning of the church, . these arcana are yet reputed on earth as of no value, . architectonic art, the, is in its essential perfection in heaven, and hence are derived all the rules of that art in the world, . aristippus, *. aristotle, *. armies of the lord jehovah. thus the most ancient people called themselves, . artificers in the spiritual world, : wonderful works which they execute there, . as from himself, , , , . assault.--how love defends itself when assaulted, . asses.--of those who, in the spiritual world, appear at a distance like asses heavily laden, . blazing ass upon which a pope was seated in hell, . associate, to.--all in the heavens are associated according to affinities and relationships of love, and have habitations accordingly, . astronomy is one of those sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . atheists, who are in the glory of reputation arising from self-love, and thence in a high conceit of their own intelligence, enjoy a more sublime rationality than many others; the reason why, . why the understanding of atheists, in spiritual light, appeared open beneath but closed above, . athenaeum, city of, in the spiritual world, *, , . sports of the athenaeides, . these games were spiritual exercises, . atmospheres.--the world is distinguished into regions as to the atmospheres, the lowest of which is the watery, the next above is the aerial, and still higher is the etherial, above which there is also the highest, , the reason why the atmosphere appears of a golden color in the heaven in which the love of uses reigns, . aura.--thus the superior atmosphere is named, . the aura is the continent of celestial light and heat, or of the wisdom and love in which the angels are principled, . see _atmospheres_. authoresses, learned.--examination of their writings in the spiritual world in their presence, . aversion between married partners arises from spiritual cold, . whence arises aversion on the part of the husband towards the wife, . aversion between married partners arises from a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, . back, the.--the sphere which issues forth from man encompasses him on the back and on the breast, lightly on the back, but more densely on the breast, , . the effect of this on married partners, who are of different minds and discordant affections. . balance.--love truly conjugal is like a balance in which the inclinations for iterated marriages are made, . the mind is kept balancing to another marriage, according to the degree of love in which it was principled in the former marriage, . bank of roses, , . bats, in the spiritual world, are correspondences and consequent appearances of the thoughts of confirmators, . bears signify those who read the word in the natural sense, and see truths therein, without understanding, . those who only read the word, and imbibe thence nothing of doctrine, appear at a distance, in the spiritual world, like bears, . beasts are born into natural loves, and thereby into sciences corresponding to them; still they do not know, think, understand, and relish any sciences, but are led through them by their loves, almost as blind persons are led through the streets by dogs, . beasts are born into all the sciences of their loves, thus into all that concerns their nourishment, habitation, love of the sex, and the education of their young, . difference between man and beasts, , . every beast corresponds to some quality, either good or evil, . beasts in the spiritual world are representative, but in the natural world they are real, . wild beasts in the spiritual world are correspondences, and thus representatives of the lusts in which the spirits are, . the state of men compared with that of beasts, *. men like beasts, found in the forests, *. beast-men, . beauty.--the affection of wisdom is essential beauty, . cause of beauty in the female sex, . women have a two-fold beauty, one natural, which is that of the face and the body, and the other spiritual, which is that of the love and manners, . beauty in the spiritual world is the form of the love and manners, . discussion on the beauty of woman, . origin of that beauty, - . ineffable beauty of a wife in the third heaven, . bees.--their wonderful instinct, . behind.--in the spiritual world, it is not allowed any one to stand behind another, and speak to him, . beings.--the desire to continue in its form is implanted by creation in all living beings, . benevolence is one of those virtues which have respect to life and enter into it, . betrothings, of, - . reasons of betrothings, . by betrothing each party is prepared for conjugial love, . by betrothing, the mind of one is conjoined to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit, previous to marriage, , . of betrothings in heaven, ; . birds in the spiritual world are representative forms, . every bird corresponds to some good or bad quality, . birds of paradise.--in heaven the forms under which the chaste delights of conjugial love are presented to the view, are birds of paradise, &c., . a pair of birds of paradise represent the middle region of conjugial love, . blessedness, , . love receives its blessedness from communication by uses with others, . the infinity of all blessedness is in the lord, . blessing of marriages by the priests, blue.--what the color blue signifies, . body, the material, is composed of watery and earthy elements, and of aerial vapors thence arising, . the material body of man is overcharged with lusts, which are in it as dregs that precipitate themselves to the bottom when the must of wine is clarified, . such are the constituent substances of which the bodies of men in the world are composed, . the bodies of men viewed interiorly are merely forms of their minds exteriorly organized to effect the purposes of the soul, . see _mind_. every thing which is done in the body is from a spiritual origin, . all things which are done in the body by man flow in from his spirit, . man when stripped of his body is in his internal affections, which his body had before concealed, . what is in the spirit as derived from the body does not long continue, but the love which is in the spirit and is derived from the body does continue, , . marriages of the spirit ought to precede marriages of the body, . bond.--the internal or spiritual bond must keep the external or natural in its order and tenor, . wives love the bonds of marriage if the men do, . unless the external affections are influenced by internal, which conjoin minds, the bonds of wedlock are loosed in the house, . books.--in heaven, as in the world, there are books, . born, to be.--man is born in total ignorance, . every man by birth is merely corporeal, and from corporeal he becomes natural more and more interiorly, and thus rational, and at length spiritual, , , . he becomes rational in proportion as he loves intelligence, and spiritual if he loves wisdom, , . man is not born into any knowledge, and if he does not receive instruction from others, is viler than a beast, . man is born without sciences, to the end that he may receive them all, and he is born into no love, to the intent that he may come into all love, . every man is born for heaven and no one for hell, and every one comes into heaven (by influence) from the lord, and into hell (by influence) from self, . breast, the, of man signifies wisdom, . all things which by derivation from the soul and mind have their determination in the body, first flow into the bosom, . the breast is as it were a place of public assembly, and a royal council chamber, and the body is as a populous city around it, . the sphere of the man's life encompasses him more densely on the breast, but lightly on the back, , . see _back_. brethren.--the lord calls those brethren and sisters who are of his church, . bride.--the church in the word is called the bride and wife, . clothing of a bride in heaven, . bridegroom.--the lord in the word is called the bridegroom and husband, . clothing of a bridegroom in heaven, . brimstone signifies the love of what is false, . lakes of fire and brimstone, , . cabinet of antiquities in the spiritual world, . calf, a golden, signifies the pleasure of the flesh, . cap, a, signifies intelligence, . turreted cap, . carotid arteries, . castigation.--the spiritual purification of conjugial love may be compared with the purification of natural spirits effected by chemists, and named castigation, . cats.--comparison concerning them, . cause.--see _end_. to speak from causes is the speech of wisdom, . causes of coldness, separations, and divorces in marriages, - . causes of concubinage, - . causes, the various, of legitimate separation, , . celebration of the lord from the word, . celestial.--in proportion as a man loves his wife he becomes celestial and internal, . celibacy ought not to be preferred to marriage, . chastity cannot be predicated of those who have renounced marriage by vows of perpetual celibacy, unless there be and remain in them the love of a life truly conjugial, . the sphere of perpetual celibacy infests the sphere of conjugial love, which is the very essential sphere of heaven, . those who live in celibacy, if they are spiritual, are on the side of heaven, . those who in the world have lived a single life, and have altogether alienated their minds from marriage, in case they be spiritual, remain single; but if natural, they become whoremongers, . for those who in their single state have desired marriage, and have solicited it without success, if they are spiritual, blessed marriages are provided, but not until the; come into heaven, . centre of nature and of life, . cerberus, . cerebellum, the, is beneath the hinder part of the head, and is designed for love and the goods thereof, . cerebrum, the, is beneath the anterior and upper part of the head, and is designed for wisdom and the truths thereof, . change, the, of the state of life which takes place with men and with women by marriage, - . by changes of the state of life are meant changes of quality as to the things appertaining to the understanding, and as to those appertaining to the will, . the changes which take place in man's internal principles are more perfectly continuous than those which take place in his external principles, . the changes which take place in internal principles are changes of the state of the will as to affections, and changes of the state of the understanding as to thoughts, . the changes of these two faculties are perpetual with man from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity, . these changes differ in the case of men and in the case of women, . charges of blame are made by a judge according to the law, . difference between predications, charges of blame, and imputations, . chariot, a, signifies the doctrine of truth, . charity is love, . charity and faith.--good has relation to charity, and truth to faith, , . to live well is charity, and to believe well is faith, . charity and faith are the life of god in man, . chaste principle, concerning the, and the non-chaste, - . the chaste principle and the non-chaste are predicated solely of marriages, and of such things as relate to marriages, . the christian conjugial principle alone is chaste, . see _conjugial_. chastity of marriage, , and following. see _contents_. the chastity of marriage exists by a total abdication of what is opposed to it from a principle of religion, - . the purity of conjugial love is what is called chastity, . love truly conjugial is essential chastity, , . non-chastity is a removal of what is unchaste from what is chaste, . chemistry is one of the sciences by which, as by doors, an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . chemists.--spiritual purification compared to the natural purification of spirits effected by chemists, . children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from their parents the conjugial principle of good and truth, - . infants in heaven become men of stature and comeliness, according to the increments of intelligence with them; it is otherwise with infants on earth, . when they have attained the stature of young men of eighteen, and young girls of fifteen years of age, in this world, then marriages are provided by the lord for them, . the love of infants remains after death, especially with women, . infants are educated under the lord's auspices by such women, . little children in the word signify those who are in innocence, . the love of infants corresponds to the defence of good and truth, . christ.--the kingdom of christ, which is heaven, is a kingdom of uses, . to reign with christ signifies to be wise, and to perform uses, . christian.--love truly conjugial with its delights can only exist among those who are of the christian church, . not a single person throughout the christian world is acquainted with the true nature of heavenly joy and eternal happiness, . chrysalises, . church, the, is from the lord, and exists with those who come to him, and live according to his precepts, . the church is the lord's kingdom in the world, corresponding to his kingdom in the heavens; and also the lord conjoins them together, that they may make a one, . the church in general and in particular is a marriage of good and of truth, . the church with man is formed by the lord by means of truths to which good is adjoined, - . the church with its goods and truths can never exist but with those who live in love truly conjugial with one wife, . the church is of both sexes, . the husband and wife together are the church; with these the church first implanted in the man and by the man in the wife, . how the church is formed by the lord with two married partners, and how conjugial love is formed thereby, . the origin of the church and of conjugial love are in one place of abode, . circe, . circle.--what circles round the head represent in the spiritual life, . circle and increasing progression of conjugial love, . circumstances and contingencies vary every thing, . the quality of every deed, and in general the quality of every thing, depends upon circumstances, . civil things have relation to the world, they are statutes, laws, and rules, which bind men, so that a civil society and state may be composed of them in a well-connected order, . civil things with man reside beneath spiritual things, and above natural things, . civility is one of the moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . in heaven they show each other every token of civility, . clay mixed with iron, . cohabit, to.--when married partners have lived in love truly conjugial, the spirit of the deceased cohabits continually with that of the survivor, and this even to the death of the latter, . cohabitation, spiritual, takes place with married partners who love each other tenderly, however remote their bodies may be from each other, . see _adjunction_. internal and external cohabitation, . with those who are principled in love truly conjugial the happiness of cohabitation increases, but it decreases with those who are not principled in conjugial love, . cohobation.--the spiritual purification of conjugial love may be compared to the purification of natural spirits, as effected by chemists, and called cohobation, . cold.--spirits merely natural grow intensely cold while they apply themselves to the side of some angel, who is in a state of love, . spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls, . causes of cold in marriages, - . cold arises from various causes, internal, external, and accidental, all of which originate in a dissimilitude of internal inclinations, . spiritual cold is the privation of spiritual heat, . whence it arises, . whence conjugial cold arises, . every one who is insane in spiritual things is cold towards his wife, and warm towards harlots, . column.--comparison of successive and simultaneous order to a column of steps, which, when it subsides, becomes a body ushering in a plane, . communications.--after death, married pairs enjoy similar communications with each other as in the world, . conatus is the very essence of motion, . from the endeavor of the two principles of good and truth to join themselves together into one, conjugial love exists by derivation, . conceptions.--between the disjoined souls of married partners there is effected conjunction in a middle love, otherwise there would be no conceptions, . concerts of music and singing in the heavens, . conclude, to, from an interior and prior principle, is to conclude from ends and causes to effects, which is according to order; but to conclude from an exterior or posterior principle, is to conclude from effects to causes and ends, which is contrary to order, . concubinage, - . difference between concubinage and pellicacy, . see _pellicacy_. there are two kinds of concubinage which differ exceedingly from each other, the one conjointly with a wife, the other apart from a wife, . concubinage conjointly with a wife is illicit to christians and detestable, . see also , . concubine, . concupiscence, concerning, . every one is by truth interiorly in concupiscence, but by education exteriorly in intelligence, . interesting particulars concerning concupiscence not visionary or fantastic, in which all men are born, . all the concupiscences of evil reside in the lowest region of the mind, which is called the natural; but in the region above, which is called the spiritual, there are not any concupiscences of evil, . in every thing that proceeds from the natural man there is concupiscence, . imputation of concupiscence, . in the spiritual world every evil concupiscence presents a likeness of itself in some form, which is not perceived by those who are in the concupiscence, but by those who are at a distance, . confidence, full, is in conjugial love, and is derived from it, . full confidence relates to the heart, . confines of heaven.--those who enter into extra-conjugial life are sent to their like, on the confines of heaven, . confirm, to.--the understanding alone confirms, and when it confirms it engages the will to its party, . every one can confirm evil equally as well as good, in like manner what is false as well as what is true. the reason why the confirmation of evil is perceived with more delight than the confirmation of good, and the confirmation of what is false with greater lucidity than the confirmation of what is true, . intelligence does not consist in being able to confirm whatever a man pleases, but in being able to see that what is true is true, and that what is false is false, . every one may confirm himself in favor of the divine principle or being, by the visible things of nature, - . those who confirm themselves in favor of a divine principle or being, attend to the wonderful things which are conspicuous in the productions both of vegetables and animals, . those who had confirmed themselves in favor of nature, by what is visible in this world, so as to become atheists, appeared in spiritual light with the understanding open beneath, but closed above, . confirmations are effected by reasonings, which the mind seizes for its use, deriving them either from its superior region or its inferior, . the form of the human mind is according to confirmations turned towards heaven, if its confirmations are in favor of marriages, but turned to hell, if they are in favor of adulteries, . confirmations of falsities, so as to make them appear like truths, are represented in the spiritual world under the forms of birds of night, . see _to confirm_. confirmators.--they are called such in the spiritual world who cannot at all see whether truth be truth, but yet can make whatever they will to be truth, . their fate in the other life, . conjugial pairs.--it is provided by the lord that conjugial pairs be born, and that these pairs be continually educated for marriage, neither the maiden nor the youth knowing any thing of the matter, . conjugial principle, the, of good and truth is implanted from creation in every soul, and also in the principles derived from the soul, . the conjugial principle fills the universe from first principles to last, and from a man even to a worm, . it is inscribed on the soul, to the end that soul may be propagated from soul, . it is inscribed on both sexes from inmost principles to ultimates, and a man's quality as to his thoughts and affections, and consequently as to his bodily actions and behavior, is according to that principle, . in every substance, even the smallest, there is a conjugial principle, . in the minutest things with man, both male and female, there is a conjugial principle: still the conjugial principle with the male is different from what it is with the female, . there is implanted in every man from creation, and consequently from his birth, an internal conjugial principle, and an external conjugial principle; man comes first into the latter, and as he becomes spiritual he comes into the former. , . children derive from their parents the conjugial principle of good and truth, for it is that principle which flows into man from the lord, and constitutes his human life, . the conjugial human principle ever goes hand in hand with religion, . this conjugial principle is the desire of living with one wife, and every christian has this desire according to his religion, . the christian conjugial principle alone is chaste, . by the christian conjugial principle is meant the marriage of one man with one wife, . the conjugial principle of one man with one wife, is the storehouse of human life, and the reservoir of the christian religion, , . the conjugial principle is like a scale in which conjugial love is weighed, . conjunction.--in every part, and even in every particular, there is a principle tending to conjunction, , ; it was implanted from creation, and thence remains perpetually, . the conjunctive principle lies concealed in every part of the male, and in every part of the female, , . in the male conjugial principle there is what is conjunctive with the female conjugial principle, and _vice versa_, even in the minutest things, . conjunction of souls and minds by marriage, so that they are no longer two but one flesh, , . spiritual conjunction cannot possibly be dissolved, . how there is a conjunction of the created universe with its creator, and by conjunction everlasting conservation, . there is conjunction with the lord by a life according to his commandments, . there is no conjunction unless it be reciprocal, for conjunction on one part, and not on the other in its turn, is dissolved of itself, . connection, the connubial, of what is evil and false is the spiritual origin of adultery, , . it is the anti-church, . in hell all are in this _conmibium_, . connubial principle, the, of what is evil and false, is the opposite of the conjugial principle of good and truth, . beneath heaven there are only nuptial connections which are tied and loosed, . conscience is a spiritual virtue which flows from love towards god, and love towards the neighbor, . see _to flow_. conscientiousness in regard to marriage, . consecration of marriages, . consent constitutes marriage and initiates the spirit into conjugial love, . consent against the will, or extorted, does not initiate the spirit, . consociation, , *. consummation of the age, signifies the last time or end of the church, . contempt between married partners springs from disunion of souls, . contingencies and circumstances vary every thing, , . contraries arise from an opposite principle in contrariety thereto, . conviction of the spirit of man, how it is effected, . those things in which the spirit is convinced, obtain a place above those which, without consulting reason, enter from authority, and from the faith of authority, . copper, the, signifies natural good, . the age or period of copper, . corpora striata, . corporeal principle, the, is like ground wherein things natural, rational, and spiritual, are implanted in their order, . man is born corporeal as a worm, and he remains corporeal, unless he learns to know, to understand, and to be wise from others, . every man by birth is merely corporeal, and from corporeal he becomes natural more and more interiorly, and thus rational, and at length spiritual, , . by corporeal men are properly meant those who love only themselves, placing their heart in the quest of honor, ; they immerse all things of the will, and consequently of the understanding in the body, and look backward at themselves from others, and love only what is proper to themselves, . corporeal spirits, . correspondences, , , , . concerning the correspondence of the marriage of the lord and the church, . there is a correspondence of conjugial love with the marriage of the lord and the church, . of the correspondence of the opposite with the violation of spiritual marriage, . see _science of correspondences_. cortical substance of the brain, . courage is one of the moral virtues which have respect to life and enter into it, . covenant signifies conjunction, . as the word is the medium of conjunction, it is therefore called the old and the new covenant, . the covenant between jehovah and the heavens, . crab, the.--what it is to think as a crab walks, . create, to.--why man was so created that whatever he wills, thinks, and does, appears to him as in himself, and thereby from himself, . how man, created a form of god, could be changed into a form of the devil, *. creation cannot be from any other source than from divine love, by divine wisdom in divine use, . all fructifications, propagations, and prolifications, are continuations of creation, . the creation returns to the creator, through the angelic heaven which is composed of the human race, . creation of man for conjugial love, . crocodiles, in the spiritual world, represent the deceit and cunning of the inhabitants, . crowns of flowers on the head, . the crown of chastity, . cupidities, the, of the flesh are nothing but the conglomerated concupiscences of what is evil and false, . customary rites, there are, which are merely formal, and there are others which at the same time are also essential; among the latter are the nuptials, . nuptials are to be reckoned among essentials, . danes, the, , . darkness of the north signifies dulness of mind and ignorance of truth, . daughters-in-law.--what daughters and sons-in-law signify in the word, . daughters, in the word, signifies the goods of the church, , . death.--man after death is perfectly a man, yea, more perfectly a man than before in the world, . decalogue, why the, was promulgated by jehovah god upon mount sinai with a stupendous miracle, . decantation.--the purification of conjugial love may be compared with the purification of natural spirits, as effected by the chemists, and called decantation, . deceased.--when married partners have lived in love truly conjugial, the spirit of the deceased cohabits continually with that of the survivor, and this even to the death of the latter, . declaration, the, of love belongs to the men, . defecation.--the purification of conjugial love may be compared with the purification of natural spirits, as effected by the chemists, and called defecation, . degrees.--there are three degrees of life, and hence there are three heavens, and the human mind is distinguished into those degrees, hence man corresponds to the three heavens, . heretofore the distinction of degrees in relation to greater and less has been known, but not in relation to prior and posterior, . there are three degrees of the natural man; the first degree is that properly meant by the natural, the second the sensual, and the third the corporeal, . adulteries change men into these degenerate degrees, . four degrees of adulteries, - . violations of the word and the church correspond to the prohibited degrees enumerated in levit., ch. xviii., . delights, all, whatever, of which man has any sensation, are delights of his love, . by delights love manifests itself, yea, exists and lives, . delights follow use, and are also communicated to man according to the love thereof, . the love of use derives its essence from love, and its existence from wisdom. the love of use, which derives its origin from love by wisdom, is the love and life of all celestial joys, . the activity of love makes the sense of delight: its activity in heaven is with wisdom, its activity in hell is with insanity: each in its objects presents delights, . delight is the all of life to all in heaven, and to all in hell, . delights are exalted in the same degree that love is exalted, and also in the degree that the incident affections touch the ruling love more nearly, . every delight of love, in the spiritual world, is presented to the sight under various appearances, to the sense under various odors, and to the view under various forms of beasts and birds, . delights of love truly conjugial, . delights, external, without internal have no soul, . every delight without its corresponding soul continually grows more and more languid and dull, and fatigues the mind (_animus_) more than labor, . the delight of the soul is derived from love and wisdom proceeding from the lord, . this delight enters into the soul by influx from the lord, and descends through the superior and inferior regions of the mind into all the senses of the body, and in them is complete and full, . in conjugial love are collated all joys and delights from first to last, , . the delights of conjugial love are the same with the delights of wisdom, , . they proceed from the lord, and now thence into the souls of men (_homines_), and through their souls into their minds, and there into the interior affections and thoughts, and thence into the body, , , , *, . as good is one with truth in spiritual marriage, so wives desire to be one with their husband; and hence arise conjugial delights with them, . paradisiacal delights, . the delights of conjugial love ascend to the highest heaven, and in the way thither, and there, join themselves with the delights of all heavenly loves, and thereby enter into their happiness, and endure forever, . delirium.--an eminent degree of delirium is occasioned by truths which are falsified until they are believed to be wisdom, . delirium in which those are, in the spiritual world, who have been in the unrestrained love of self and the world, . democritus, . demosthenes, . devils.--those are called devils who have lived wickedly, and thereby rejected all acknowledgment of god from their hearts, . see _satans_. with adulterers who are called devils, the will is the principal agent, and with those who are called satans, the understanding is the principal agent, . devil of a frightful form, . difference between the spiritual and the natural, - . dignities, concerning, in heaven, , , there they do not prefer dignity to use but the excellence of use to dignity, . diogenes, . disciples, the twelve, together represented the church as to all its constituent principles, . who they are who are called disciples of the lord in the spiritual world, . discord between married partners arises from spiritual cold, . discourse, man's, in itself is such as is the thought of his understanding which produces it, . discourse itself is grounded in the thought of the understanding, and the tone of the voice is grounded in the will affection, . speech which is said to flow from the thought, flows not from the thought, but from the affection through the thought, . spiritual language with representatives fully expresses what is intended to be said, and many things in a moment, . conversation in the spiritual world may be heard by a distant person as if he were present, . frequent discourse from the memory and from recollection, and not at the same time from thought and intelligence, induces a kind of faith, . disjunction, all, derives its origin from the opposition of spiritual spheres, which emanate from their subjects, . dissimilitudes in the spiritual world are separated, . see _likeness_. distances.--spheres cause distances in the spiritual world, . distances in the spiritual world are appearances according to the states of mind, . distinction, characteristic, of the woman and the man, . diversities.--distinction between varieties and diversities. there are varieties between those things which are of one genus, or of one species, also between the genera and species; but there is a diversity between those things which are in the opposite principle, . in heaven there is infinite variety, and in hell infinite diversity, . divided.--every thing divided is more and more multiple, and not more and more simple, because what is continually divided approaches nearer and nearer to the infinite, in which all things are infinitely, . divine good and truth.--the divine good is the _esse_ of the divine substance, and the divine truth is the _existere_ of the divine substance, . the divine good and truth proceed as one from the lord, . the lord god, the creator, is essential divine good, and essential divine truth, . the divine truth in the word is united to the divine good, . all divine truth in the heavens gives forth light, . divine essence, the, is composed of love, wisdom, and use, . nothing but what is of the divine essence can proceed from the lord, and flow into the inmost principle of man, . there is not any essence without a form, nor any form without an essence, . divine love and wisdom.--in the lord god, the creator, there are divine love and divine wisdom, . divisible.--every grain of thought, and every drop of affection, is divisible _ad infinitum_: in proportion as his ideas are divisible man is wise, . every thing is divisible _in infinitum_, . divorce, by, is meant the abolition of the conjugial covenant, and thence a plenary separation, and after this an entire liberty to marry another wife, . the only cause of divorce is adultery, according to the lord's precept. matt. xix. , , . doctrinals of the new church in five precepts, . dogs in the spiritual world represent the lusts in which the inhabitants are principled, . who those are who appear like dogs of indulgences, . doves, turtle.--in heaven, the appearances under which the chaste delights of conjugial love are presented to the view, are turtle-doves, &c., . a pair of turtle-doves represents conjugial love of the highest region, . dragons in the spiritual world represent the falsities and depraved inclinations of the inhabitants to those things which appertain to idolatrous worship, . dress of a bridegroom and bride during their marriage in heaven, , . drink, to, water from the fountain signifies to be instructed concerning truths, and by truths concerning goods, and thereby to grow wise, . drinks.--in the heaven as well as in the world there are drinks, . see _food_. drunkenness, , . dura-mater, . duties.--there are duties proper to the man, and duties proper to the wife, . in the duties proper to the men, the primary agent is understanding, thought, and wisdom; whereas in the duties proper to the wives, the primary agent is will, affection, and love, . ear, the, does not hear and discern the harmonies of tunes in singing, and the concordances of the articulation of sounds in discourse, but the spirit, . in heaven the right ear is the good of hearing, and the left the truth thereof, . earth, the, or ground is the common mother of all vegetables, , ; and of all minerals, . earth, the lower, in the spiritual world, is next above hell, . earth, or country, , , , , , , , , &c. ease, by, and sloth the mind grows stupid and the body torpid, and the whole man becomes insensible to every vital love, especially to conjugial love, . east, the.--the lord is the east, because he is in the sun there, . eat, to, of the tree of life, in a spiritual sense, is to be intelligent and wise from the lord; and to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, signifies to be intelligent and wise from self, . to eat of the tree of life, is to receive eternal life; to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, is to receive damnation, , . ecclesiastical order, the, on the earth minister those things which appertain to the lord's priestly character, . what is the nature of ecclesiastical self-love, . they aspire to be gods, so far as that love is unrestrained. . eden.--see _garden_. education of children in the spiritual world, - . effect.--see _end_. effigy.--two married partners, between or in whom conjugial love subsists, are an effigy and form of it, . in the spiritual world the faces of spirits become the effigies of their internal affections, . election belongs to the man and not to the woman, . the women have the right of election of one of their suitors, . elevation.--with men there is an elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women elevation of the mind into superior heat, . elevation into superior light with men is elevation into superior intelligence, and thence into wisdom, in which also there are ascending degrees of elevation, . the elevation into superior heat with women is an elevation into chaster and purer conjugial love, and continually towards the conjugial principle, which from creation lies concealed in their inmost principles, . these elevations considered in themselves are openings of the mind, . elysian fields, . employments in the spiritual world, . end of this work, . end, the, and the cause, in what is to be effected and in effects, act in unity because they act together, . the end, cause, and effect successively progress as three things, but in the effect itself they make one, . every end considered in itself is a love, . every end appertains to the will, every cause to the understanding, and every effect to action, . the end, unless the intended effect is seen together with it, is not any thing, neither does each become any thing, unless the cause supports, contrives, and conjoins, . all operations in the universe have a progression from ends, through causes into effects, . ends advance in a series, one after the other, and in their progress the last end becomes first, . ends make progression in nature through times without time, but they cannot come forth and manifest themselves, until the effect or use exists and becomes a subject, . the end of marriage is the procreation of children, . all in heaven are influenced by an end of good; and all in hell by an end of evil, , . england, english, , , . enunciations, the.--the name of the prophetic books of the word that was given to the inhabitants of asia, before the israelitish word, . epicurus, . equilibrium, there is an, between the sphere of conjugial love, and between the sphere of its opposite, and man is kept in this equilibrium, . this equilibrium is a spiritual equilibrium, . spiritual equilibrium is that which exists between good and evil, or between heaven and hell, . this equilibrium produces a free principle, . see _freedom_. erudite, the pretended, in the spiritual world, . erudition appertains to rational wisdom, . erudition is one of the principles constituent of rational wisdom, . esse and existere.--the esse of the substance of god is divine good, and the existere of the substance of god is divine truth, . essentials.--love, wisdom, and use, are three essentials, together constituting one divine essence, . these three essentials flow into the souls of men, . eternity is the infinity of time, . ethics is one of those sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . eunuchs.--of those who are born eunuchs, or of eunuchs so made, . who are understood by the eunuchs who make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake, matt. xix. , . evil is not from creation; nothing but good exists from creation, . man himself is the origin of evil, not that that origin was implanted in him by creation, but that he, by turning from god to himself, implanted it in himself, . love without wisdom is love from man, and this love is the origin of evil, . no one can be withdrawn from evil unless he has been first led into it, . so far as any one removes evil, so far a capacity is given for good to succeed in its place, . so far as evil is hated, so far good is loved, . evils and falses, after they arose, were distinguished into genera, species, and differences, . all evils are together of the external and internal man; the internal intends them, and the external does them, . so far as the understanding favors evils, so far a man appropriates them to himself, and makes them his own, . see _hereditary_. extension cannot be predicated of things spiritual, . the reason why, . externals derive from their internals their good or evil, . of the external derived from the internal, and of the external separate from the internal, . how man after death puts off externals, and puts on internals, *. eye, the, does not see and discern various particulars in objects, but they are seen and discerned by the spirit, . in heaven the right eye is the good of vision, and the left the truth thereof, . eyes, when the, of the spirit are opened, angels appear in their proper form, which is the human, . fables.--things which are called fables at this day, were correspondences agreeable to the primeval method of speaking, . face, the, depends on the mind (_animus_), and is its type, . the countenance is a type of the love, . the variety of countenances is infinite, . there are not two human faces which arc exactly alike, . the faces of no two persons are absolutely alike, nor can there be two faces alike to eternity, . faculty.--man is born faculty and inclination; faculty to know, and inclination to love, . the faculty of understanding and growing wise as of himself, was implanted in man by creation, . the faculty of knowing, of understanding, and of growing wise, receives truths, whereby it has science, intelligence, and wisdom, . man has the faculty of elevating his understanding into the light of wisdom, and his will into the heat of celestial love; these two faculties are never taken away from any man, . the faculty of becoming wise increases with those who are in love truly conjugial, . faith is truth, , . saving faith is to believe on the lord jesus christ, . fallacies of the senses are the darkness of truths, *. falses, all, have been collated into hell, . see _evils_. falsifications of truth are spiritual whoredoms, , . father.--the lord in the word is called father, . most fathers, when they come into another life, recollect their children who have died before them, and they are also presented to, and mutually acknowledge, each other, . in what manner spiritual and natural fathers act, . by father and mother, whom man is to leave, matt. xix. , , in a spiritual sense, is meant his _proprium_ (self-hood) of will, and _proprium_ of understanding, . see _proprium_. favor, causes of, between married partners, , , . fear.--in love truly conjugial there is a fear of loss, . this fear resides in the very inmost principles of the mind, . feasts.--there are in heaven, as in the world, both feasts and repasts, . female.--see _male and female_. the female principle is derived from the male, or, the woman was taken out of the man, . the female principle cannot be changed into the male principle, nor the male into the female, . the difference between the essential feminine and masculine principle, , . the good of truth, or truth from good, in the female principle, , , . the female principle consists in perceiving from love, , . fevers, malignant and pestilential, , . fire in heaven represents good, . fire in the spiritual sense signifies love, . the fire of the angelic sun is divine love, . the fire of the altar and of the candlestick in the tabernacle among the israelites, represented divine love, . the fire of the natural sun has existed from no other source than from the fire of the spiritual sun, which is divine love, . the fires of the west signify the delusive loves of evil, . fish.--in the spiritual world fishes are representative forms, . every fish corresponds to some quality, . flame.--celestial love with the angels of heaven appears at a distance as flame; and thus also infernal love appears with the spirits of hell, . flame in the spiritual world does not burn like flame in the natural world, . celestial flame in no case bursts out against another, but only defends itself, and defends itself against an evil person, as when he rushes into the fire and is burnt, . flesh, the, is contrary to the spirit, that is, contrary to the spiritual things of the church, . combat between the flesh and the spirit, . the flesh is ignorant of the delights of the spirit, . the flesh is not sensible of those things which happen in the flesh, but the spirit perceives them, . what is signified by the words of our lord, "they are no more twain but one flesh," , *, , . by "all flesh," in the word, is signified every man, *. flow from, to.--all that which flows from a subject, and encompasses and environs it, is named a sphere, . flow in, to.--every thing which flows in from the lord into man, flows into his inmost principle, which is the soul, and descends thence into his middle principle, which is the mind, and through this into his ultimate principle, which is the body, . the marriage of good and truth flows thus from the lord with man, immediately into his soul, and thence proceeds to the principles next succeeding, and through these to the extreme or outermost, . flowers.--the delights of conjugial love are represented in heaven by the flowers with which the cloaks and tunics of married partners are embroidered, . flowery fields.--in heaven there are flowery fields which are the appearances under which the chaste pleasures of conjugial love are presented to the sight, . food, heavenly, in its essence is nothing but love, wisdom, and use, united together; that is, use effected by wisdom, and derived from love, . food for the body is given to every one in heaven, according to the use which he performs, . form.--there is nothing that exists but in a form, . there is no substance without a form, . every form consists of various things, and is such as is the harmonic co-ordination thereof and arrangement to one, . all a man's affections and thoughts are in forms, and thence from forms, . the form of heaven is derived solely from varieties of souls and minds arranged into such an order as to make a one, . truth is the form of good, . the human form in its inmost principles is from creation a form of love and wisdom, . men from creation are forms of science, intelligence, and wisdom; and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men, . form of the marriage of good and truth, . two married partners are that form in their inmost principles, and thence in what is derived from those principles, in proportion as the interiors of their mind are opened, , . two married partners are the very forms of love and wisdom, or of good and truth, . the internal form of man is that of his spirit, . the woman is a form of wisdom inspired with love-affection, . the male form is the intellectual form, and the female is the voluntary, . the most perfect and most noble human form results from the conjunction of two forms by marriage, so as to become one form, . how man, created a form of god, could be changed into a form of the devil, *. the desire to continue in its form is implanted from creation in all living things, . see _substance_. formation.--as to formation, the masculine soul, as being intellectual, is thus truth, . formation of the woman into a wife according to the description in the book of creation, - . fountain, a, signifies the truth of wisdom, . fountain of parnassus, . see _water_. fowls.--wonderful things conspicuous respecting fowls, . france, , . freedom originates in the spiritual equilibrium which exists between heaven and hell, or between good and evil, and in which man is educated, . the freedom of love truly conjugial is most free, . the lord wills that the male man (_homo_) should act from principle according to reason, , . without freedom and reason man would not be a man, but a beast, . french, the, , , . frensy, or furious wildness, a legitimate cause of separation, , . friends meet after death, and recollect their friendships in the former world; but when their consociation is only from external affections, a separation ensues, and they no longer see or know each other, . friendship is one of the moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . friendship increases with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, . inmost friendship is in love truly conjugial, and is derived from it, . inmost friendship is seated in the breast, . friendship from conjugial love differs greatly from the friendship of every other love, . apparent friendship between married partners is a consequence of the conjugial covenant being ratified for the term of life, . there are various species of apparent friendship between married partners, one of whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore subject to the other, . difference between conjugial friendship and servile friendship in marriages, . under what circumstances there may exist between married partners, when old, a friendship resembling that of conjugial love, . frozen substances, . fructification, all, is originally derived from the influx of love, wisdom, and use from the lord; from an immediate influx into the souls of men; from a mediate influx into the souls of animals; and from an influx still more mediate into the inmost principles of vegetables, . fructifications are continuations of creation, . fructification in the heavens, , . future, the.--the lord does not permit any man to know the future, because in proportion as he does so, in the same degree his reason and understanding, with his prudence and wisdom, become inactive, are swallowed up and destroyed, . gallery, open, . gangrenes, . gardens.--in heaven the appearances under which the chaste delights of conjugial love are presented, are gardens and flowery fields, . the garden of eden signifies the wisdom of love, . nuptial gardens, . paradisiacal gardens, . description of the garden of the prince of a heavenly society, . garland of roses, a, in heaven signifies the delights of intelligence, . garlands in heaven represent the delights of conjugial love, , . genera.--distinction of all things into genera, species, and discriminations; the reason why, . there are three genera of adulteries, simple, duplicate, and triplicate, , . general of an army, . generals cannot enter into particulars, . generosity is one of those moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . genii.--who those are who, in the spiritual world, are called infernal genii, . genital region, . gentiles.--why there is no communication between the christian heaven, and the heaven of the gentiles, . geometry is one of the sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . germans, , . germany, . gestures.--in the spiritual world the internal affections appear even in the gestures, . giants, abode of, . gland, pineal, . glorification of the lord by the angels of the heavens on account of his coming, . glorifying, by, god is meant the discharging of all the duties of our callings with faithfulness, sincerity, and diligence; hereby god is glorified, as well as by acts of worship at stated times, succeeding these duties, . glory, the, of the love of self, elevates the understanding even into the light of heaven, . the glory of honor with men induces, exalts, and sharpens jealousy, . god, the, of heaven is the lord, . there is only one god, in whom there is a divine trinity, and he is the lord jesus christ, , . god is love itself, and wisdom itself, . the _esse_ of the substance of god is divine good, and the _existere_ of his substance is divine truth, . see _lord, obs_. good and truth.--what the will loves and does is called good, and what the understanding perceives and thinks is called true, . all those things which pertain to the love are called good, and all those things which pertain to wisdom are called truths, . all things in the universe have relation to good and truth, . good and truth are the universals of creation, and thence are in all created things, . good has relation to love, and truth to wisdom, . by truths, man has understanding, perception, and all thought; and by goods, love, charity, and all affection, . man receives truth as his own, and appropriates it as his own, for he thinks what is true as from himself, ; but he cannot take good as of himself, it being no object of his sight, . the truth of faith constitutes the lord's presence, and the good of life according to the truths of faith constitutes conjunction with him, . the truth of faith constitutes the lord's presence, because it relates to light; and the good of life constitutes conjunction, because it relates to heat, . in all things in the universe, good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, . there is not any truth without good, nor good without truth, . good is not good, only so far as it is united with truth; and truth is not truth, only so far as it is united with good, . relations of good and truth to their objects, and their conjunction with them, . the good which joins itself with the truth belonging to the man is from the lord immediately, but the good of the wife, which joins itself with the truth belonging to the man, is from the lord mediately through the wife, . see _marriage of good and truth_. government.--in heaven there are governments and forms of government, . governments.--there are in heaven, as on the earths, distinctions of dignity and governments, . grapes, good, and bad grapes, what they represent in the spiritual world, , . ground.--man at his first birth is as a ground in which no seeds are implanted, but which nevertheless is capable of receiving all seeds, and of bringing them forth and fructifying them, . groves, , , , . guilt, _reatus_, is principally predicated of the will, . gymnasia in the spiritual world, *, , , . gymnasia, olympic, in the spiritual world, where the ancient _sophi_ and many of their disciples met together, *. habitations.--how men have ceased to be habitations of god, *. hand.--in heaven the right hand is the good of man's ability, and the left the truth thereof, . if, in the word, mention is made of a thing's being inscribed on the hands, it is because the hands are the ultimates of man, wherein the deliberations and conclusions of his mind terminate, and there constitute what is simultaneous, . the angels can see in a man's hand all the thoughts and intentions of his mind, . whatever a man examines intellectually, appears to the angels as if inscribed on his hands, . happiness, concerning eternal, and following. happiness ought to be within external joys, and to flow from them, . this happiness abiding in external joys, makes them joys, and to flow from them, . this happiness abiding in external joys, makes them joys, it enriches them, and prevents their becoming loathsome and disgusting; and this happiness is derived to every angel from the use he performs in his function, . from the reception of the love of uses, springs heavenly happiness, which is the life of joys, . heavenly happiness results from the eternal enjoyment of different states derived from conjugial love, . the delights of the soul, with the thoughts of the mind and the sensations of the body, constitute heavenly happiness, . the happiness which results from the sensations of the body alone, is not eternal, but soon passes away, and in some cases becomes unhappiness, . eternal happiness does not arise from the place, but from the state of the life of man (_homo_) . happiness, the, of cohabitation increases with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, . healing of the sick by the touch, . hearing, natural, is grounded in spiritual hearing, which is attention of the understanding, and at the same time accommodation of the will, . the love of hearing grounded in the love of hearkening to and obeying has the sense of hearing, and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of harmony, . the perception of a thing imbibed by hearing only flows in indeed, but does not remain unless the hearer also thinks of it from himself, and asks questions concerning it, . heart, the, signifies love, . the heart has relation to good, . the heart rules by the blood in every part of the body, . heat, spiritual, is love, . this heat is from no other source than the sun of the spiritual world, . heat is felt, and not seen, . when the heat of conjugial love removes and rejects the heat of adulterous love, conjugial love begins to acquire a pleasant warmth, . the quality of the heat of conjugial love with polygamists, . heat and light.--in heaven heat is love, and the light with which heat is united, is wisdom, . natural heat corresponds to spiritual heat, which is love, and natural light corresponds to spiritual light, which is wisdom, . heavenly light acts in unity with wisdom, and heavenly heat with love, . those things which have relation to light are seen, and those which have relation to heat are felt, . the delight of spiritual heat with spiritual light is perceivable in human forms, in which this heat is conjugial love, and this light is wisdom, . heaven.--the angelic heaven is formed from the human race, . there are three heavens, the first or ultimate heaven, the second or middle heaven, and the third or highest heaven, . the universal heaven is arranged in order according to the varieties of the affections of the love of good, . in heaven human forms are altogether similar to those in the natural world. nothing is wanting in the male, and nothing in the female, . the heaven of infants, its situation, . heaven of innocence, . heaven of mahometans, - . helicon, *, . heliconides, sports of the, in the spiritual world, . these sports were spiritual exercises and trials of skill, . hell.--the universal hell is arranged in order according to the affections of the love of evil, . those who are in evil from the understanding dwell there in front and are called satans, but those who are in evil from the will dwell to the back and are called devils, . hell of the deceitful, . heraclitus, . hereditary evil is not from adam, but from a man's parents, . whence it springs, . heterogeneites in the spiritual world are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the discourse, and the gesture, . heterogeneous or discordant, what is, causes disjunction and absence in the spiritual world, . hieroglyphics, the, of the egyptians derive their origin from the science of correspondences and representations, , . history is one of the sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . hogs.--in hell, the forms of beasts under which the lascivious delights of adulterous love are presented to the view are hogs, &c., . companions of ulysses changed into hogs, . holland, . hollanders or dutchmen, , . homogeneites, in the spiritual world, are not only felt, but also appear in the face, language, and gesture, . homogeneous or concordant, what is, causes conjunction and presence, . honors.--in heaven the angels feel that the honors of the dignities are out of themselves, and are as the garments with which they are clothed, . hoof, by the, of the horse pegasus is understood experiences whereby comes natural intelligence, . house, the, signifies the understanding of truths, . see _pegasus_. house.--in heaven no one can dwell but in his own house, which is provided for him, and assigned to him, according to the quality of his love, . human principle, the, consists in desiring to grow wise, and in loving whatever appertains to wisdom, . hunch-backed.--when the love of the world constitutes the head, a man is not a man otherwise than as hunch-backed, . husband.--how with young men the youthful principle is changed into that of a husband, . husband, the, does not represent the lord, and the wife the church, because both together, the husband and the wife, constitute the church, . the husband represents wisdom, and the wife represents the love of the wisdom of the husband, . the husband is truth, and the wife the good thereof, . a state receptible of love, and perceptible of wisdom, makes a youth into a husband, . see _wife_. hypocrite.--every man who is not interiorly led by the lord is a hypocrite, and thereby an apparent man, and yet not a man, . idea, every, of man's, however sublimated, is substantial--that is, affixed to substances, . to every idea of natural thought there adheres something derived from space and time, which is not the case with any spiritual idea, . spiritual ideas, compared with natural, are ideas of ideas, . there is not any idea of natural thought adequate to any idea of spiritual thought, . spiritual ideas are supernatural, inexpressible, ineffable, and incomprehensible to the natural man, . one natural idea contains innumerable spiritual ideas, and one spiritual idea contains innumerable celestial ideas, . identity.--no absolute identity of two things exist, still less of several, . idolaters, ancient, in the spiritual world, . idolatry.--its origin, , . ijim, the, in hell represent the images of the phantasies of the infernals, . see _phantasy_. illustrate, to, , *, , , &c. _obs._--in the writings of the author, to illustrate is generally used in the sense of to enlighten. illustration.--in the word there is illustration concerning eternal life, . _obs._--illustration is an actual opening of the interiors which pertain to the mind, and also an elevation into the light of heaven, _h.d._, . image.--what are the image and likeness of god into which man was created, , . image of the husband in the wife, . imagination, , . see _phantasy_. immodesty, , . all in hell are in the immodesty of adulterous love, . immortality.--man may no longer be in doubt through ignorance respecting his immortality, after the discoveries which it has pleased the lord to make, . implant, to.--that which is implanted in souls by creation, and respects propagation, is indelible, and not to be extirpated, . good cannot be implanted, only so far as evil is removed, . impletion.--the soul is a spiritual substance, which is not a subject of extension, but of impletion, . imposition of hands.--whence it has originated, . impure.--to the impure every thing is impure, . impurity, the, of hell is from adulterous love, , . in like manner the impurity in the church, , . there are innumerable varieties of impurities; all hell overflows with impurities, . imputation, the, of evil in the other life is not accusation, incusation, inculpation, and judication, as in the world, ; evil is there made sensible as in its odor; it is this which accuses, incuses, fixes blame, and judges, not before any judge, but before every one who is principled in good, and this is what is meant by imputation, . imputation of adulterous love, and imputation of conjugial love, - . imputation of adulteries after death, how effected, , , ; these imputations take place after death, not according to circumstances, which are external of the deed, but according to internal circumstances of the mind, . imputation of good, how it is effected, . if by imputation is meant the transcription of good into any one who is in evil, it is a frivolous term, . impute, to.--the evil in which every one is, is imputed to him after death; in like manner the good, , , . evil or good is imputed to every one after death, according to the quality of his will and or his understanding, . who it is to whom sin is not imputed, and who to whom it is imputed, , . inactivity or sloth occasions a universal languor, dulness, stupor, and drowsiness of the mind, and thence of the body, . in consequence of sloth the mind grows stupid and the body torpid, and the whole man becomes insensible to every vital love, especially to conjugial love, . inclination.--in the truth of good, and in the good of truth, there is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into one, , ; the reason why, . the conjunctive inclination, which is conjugial love, is in the same degree with the conjunction of good and truth, which is the church, . every one derives from his parents his peculiar temper, which is his inclination, . children are born with inclinations to such things as their parents were inclined to, ; but it is of the divine providence that perverse inclinations may be rectified, . inclinations of married partners towards each other, . husbands know nothing at all of the inclinations and affections of their own love, but wives are well acquainted with those principles in their husbands, . inclination of the wife towards the husband, . dissimilitude of internal inclinations is the origin and cause of cold, . external inclinations, whence they arise, . indifference with married partners comes from a disunion of souls and disjunction of minds, , . industry is one of the moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . inequality of external rank and condition is one of the external causes of cold, . there are many inequalities of rank and condition which put an end to the conjugial love commenced before marriage, . infancy is the appearance of innocence, . influx.--what is meant by influx, . there is an immediate influx from the lord into the souls of men, a mediate influx into the souls of animals, and an influx still more mediate into the inmost principles of vegetables, . every subject receives influx according to its form, . the subject does not perceive the influx, . the influx is alike into all; but the reception, which is according to the form, causes every species to continue a particular species, . the influx of love and wisdom from the lord is the essential activity from which comes all delight, . influx of conjugial love, , , . inherent, , , , . _obs._--that is called inherent which proceeds from a common influx, _a.e._, . common influx is a continual effort proceeding from the lord through all heaven, into each of the things which pertain to the life of man. see _a.e._, . what is inherent is as a graft. inherent, to be, , , , , , . inmost principles of the mind, and inmost principles of the body, . the highest things of successive order become the inmost of simultaneous order, . the inmost principle of man is his soul, . innocence is the _esse_ of every good; good is only so far good as innocence is in it, , . the lord is innocence itself, . innocence is to be led by the lord, . the innocence of infants flows in from the lord, . the sphere of innocence flows into infants, and through them into parents, and affects them, , . what is the innocence of infants which flows into parents, . the innocence of infancy is the cause of the love called _storge_, . innocence corresponds to infancy, and also to nakedness, . the innocence of childhood is external innocence, and the innocence of wisdom internal innocence, . the innocence of wisdom is the end of all instruction and progression with infants in the spiritual world, . when they come to the innocence of wisdom, the innocence of infancy is adjoined to them, which in the mean time had served them as a plane, . innocence is in conjugial love, and pertains to the soul, . innocence is one of the spiritual virtues which flow from love to god and love towards the neighbor, . insanity, .--insanity, a vitiated state of the mind, is a legitimate cause of separation, , . inscribed on the hands.--why this form of expression is used in the word, . see _hand_. instruction of children in heaven, - . places of instruction in the spiritual world, . integrity, state of, , . intellectual, the, principle is nothing but truth, . man's intellectual principle is the inmost principle of the woman, . intelligence is a principle of reason, . there is no end to intelligence, . every one is in intelligence, not by birth, but exteriorly by education, . the intelligence of women is in itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; and the intelligence of men in itself is grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of licentiousness, . circles around the head represent intelligence, . intemperance, , . intention.--that which flows forth from the form of a man's life, thus from the understanding and its thought, is called intention; but that which flows forth from the essence of a man's life, thus that which flows forth from his will or his love, is principally called purpose, . the intention which pertains to the will is principally regarded by the lord, , . intention is as an act before determination; hence it is that, by a wise man and also by the lord, intention is accepted as an act, , . intention is the soul of all actions, and causes blamableness and unblamableness in the world, and after death imputation, . intercourse.--in heaven there are frequent occasions of cheerful intercourse and conversation, whereby the internal minds (_mentes_) of the angels are exhilarated, their external minds (_animi_) entertained, their bosoms delighted, and their bodies refreshed, but such occasions do not occur till they have fulfilled their appointed uses in the discharge of their respective business and functions, . interiors, the, form the exteriors to their own likeness, . the opening of the interiors cannot be fully effected except with those who have been prepared by the lord to receive the things which are of spiritual wisdom, . these interiors, which in themselves are spiritual, are opened by the lord alone, , . internal principles, man's, by which are meant the things appertaining to his mind or spirit, are elevated in a superior degree above his external principles, . intrepidity is one of the moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . iron.--age of iron, . israelitish nation.--why it was permitted to the israelitish nation to marry a plurality of wives, . italians, , . italian eunuchs, . james, the apostle, represented charity, . jealousy, concerning, - . the zeal of conjugial love is called jealousy, . jealousy is like a burning fire against those who infest love exercised towards a married partner, and it is a horrid fear for the loss of that love, . there is a spiritual jealousy with monogamists, and natural with polygamists, , . jealousy with those married partners who tenderly love each other is a just grief grounded in sound reason lest conjugial love should be divided, and should thereby perish, , . jealousy with married partners who do not love each other is grounded in several causes, proceeding in some instances from various mental sickness, , . jealousy with men resides in the understanding, . in some instances there is not any jealousy, and this also from various causes, . there is a jealousy also in regard to concubines, but not such as in regard to wives, . jealousy likewise exists among beasts and birds, . the jealousy prevalent with men and husbands is different from what is prevalent with women and wives, . jehovah.--the lord is jehovah from eternity, . why jehovah is said to be jealous, . jerusalem, the new, signifies the new church of the lord, , . jesuit, . jesus christ.--the divine trinity is in jesus christ, in whom dwells all the fulness of the godhead bodily, . see _god, lord_. jew, a, may be recognized by his look, . job.--the doctrine of correspondences, of which the spiritual sense of the word is composed, has been concealed now for some thousands of years, namely, since the time of job, . john, the apostle, represented the works of charity, . he represented the church as to the goods of charity, john xix. , , . joy, heavenly, , and following. heavenly joy consists in the delight of doing something that is useful to ourselves and others, which delight derives its essence from love, and its existence from wisdom, . the delight of being useful, originating in love and operating by wisdom, is the very soul and life of all heavenly joys, . judge, a, gives sentence according to actions done, but every one after death is judged according to the intentions; thus a judge may absolve a person, who after death is condemned, and _vice versa_, , . unjust judges, their fate in the other life, . judge, to.--it is permitted to every one to judge of the moral and civil life of another in the world, but to judge what is the quality of his interior mind or soul, thus what is the quality of any one's spiritual state, and thence what is his lot after death, is not allowed, . no one is to be judged of from the wisdom of his conversation, but of his life in union therewith, . after death every one is judged according to the intentions of the will, and thence of the understanding; and according to the confirmations of the understanding, and thence of the will, . judgment.--difference between corporeal judgment, and judgment of the mind, . by corporeal judgment is meant the judgment of the mind according to the external senses, which judgment is gross and dull, . see _justice and judgment_. judicial proceedings.--in heaven there are judicial proceedings, , . jurisprudence is one of the sciences by which, as by doors, an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . justice, divine.--it is contrary to divine justice to condemn those who acknowledge a god and from a principle of religion practise the laws of justice, which consist in shunning evils because they are contrary to god, and doing what is good because it is agreeable to god, . justice and judgment.--justice has relation to moral wisdom, and judgment to rational wisdom, . the spiritual man in all he does acts from justice and judgment, . kids.--in heaven, the forms of animals under which the chaste delights of conjugial love are presented to view are kids &c., . kingdom, the, of christ, which is heaven, is a kingdom of uses, . labyrinth, paradisiacal, . lakes signify falsifications of truth, . lakes of fire and brimstone, , . lambs in the spiritual world are representative forms of the state of innocence and peace of the inhabitants, . the forms of animals under which the chaste delights of conjugial love are there presented to the view, are lambs, &c., . the lord from innocence is called a lamb, . lamps signify truth, . language.--all in the spiritual world have the spiritual language, which has in it nothing common to any natural language, . every man comes of himself into the use of that language after his decease, . every spirit and angel, when conversing with a man, speaks his proper language, . the sound of spiritual language differs so far from the sound of natural language, that a spiritual sound, though loud, could not at all be heard by a natural man, nor a natural sound by a spiritual man, . lascivious.--angels discern in the extremes what is lascivious from what is not lascivious, . the external principle separated from the internal, is lascivious in the whole and in every part, . the lascivious mind acts lasciviously, and the chaste mind chastely; and the latter arranges the body, whereas the former is arranged by the body, . lasciviousness, in its spiritual origin, is insanity, . in the lowest region of the mind, which is called the natural, reside all the concupiscences of lasciviousness, but in the superior region, which is called the spiritual, there are not any concupiscences, . all in hell are in lasciviousness, . a sphere of lasciviousness issues forth from the unchaste, . latitude.--all goods and evils partake of latitude and altitude, and according to latitude have their genera, and according to altitude their degrees, . law.--divine law and rational are one law, . how the declaration, that no one can fulfil the law, is to be understood, . leave his father and mother, to, gen. ii. ; matt. xix. , signifies to divest himself of the proprium of the will and of the understanding, . left, the, signifies truth, . leopards in the spiritual world represent the falsities and depraved inclinations of the inhabitants to those things which pertain to idolatrous worship, . those who only read the word, and imbibe thence nothing of doctrine, but confirm false principles, appear like leopards, . leprosy, , . liberality is one of those virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . liberty.--see _rationality_ and _liberty_. libraries in the spiritual world, . life.--the life of man essentially is his will, and formally is his understanding, . every one has excellence of life according to his conjugial love, . light.--in heaven, the light with which warmth is united is wisdom, . in heaven there is perpetual light, and on no occasion do the shades of evening prevail; still less is there darkness, because the sun does not set, . heavenly light is above the rational principle with man, and rational light is below it, . if heavenly light does not flow into natural light, a man does not see whether any thing true is true, and neither does he see that any thing false is false, . false and delusive lights, . see _heat_ and _light_. lightning.--in the spiritual world, the vibration of light, like lightning, is a correspondence and consequent appearance of the conflict of arguments, . like.--there is not one angel of heaven absolutely like another, nor any spirit of hell, neither can there be to eternity, . there are not two human faces exactly alike, . likeness or similitude.--the likeness of children to their parents, . man is a likeness of god from this circumstance, that he feels in himself that the things which are of god are in him as his, , . similitudes and dissimilitudes between married partners in general originate from connate inclinations, varied by education, connections, and imbibed persuasions, . there are both internal and external similitudes and dissimilitudes; the internal derive their origin from religion, and the external from education, . the varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and differ more or less from each other, . various similitudes can be conjoined, but not with dissimilitudes, . the lord provides similitudes for those who desire love truly conjugial; and if they are not given in the earths, he provides them in the heavens, . in the spiritual world, similitudes are joined, and dissimilitudes separated, . lipothamia, , . live, to, for others is to perform uses, . loins, the, with men correspond to conjugial love, . look, to.--the lord looks at every man in the fore front of his head, and this aspect passes into the hinder part of his head, . in heaven it is impossible to look at the wife of another from an unchaste principle, . lord, the, is the god of heaven and earth, . the lord is essential good and essential truth; and these in him are not two, but one, . the lord loves every one, and desires to do good to every one, . he promotes good or use by the mediation of angels in heaven, and of men on earth, . from the lord, the creator and conservator of the universe, there continually proceed love, wisdom, and use, and these three as one, . _obs._--in all the writings of the author, by the _lord_, is signified the saviour of the world, jesus christ, who is the one only god, because in him dwelleth the trinity of father, son, and holy spirit. lot.--such as a man's life has been in the world, such is his lot after death, . lot of those who have abandoned themselves to various lusts, , , , . happy lot of those who wished for dominion from the love of uses, . love, to.--whether it be possible for a woman to love her husband, who constantly loves her own beauty, . whether a man who loves himself from his intelligence can love a wife, . love is the _esse_ or essence of a man's life, , , . it is the man himself, . it is the best of the life of man, or his vital heat, , . love is the essential active principle of life, ; it is kept alive by delight, . each love has its delight, . all love is of such a nature that it bursts out into indignation and anger, yea, into fury, whenever it is disturbed in its delights, . love, without its delights, is not any thing, . love is spiritual heat, . love is spiritual heat originating in the fire of the angelic sun, which is pure love, . spiritual heat living in subjects is felt as love, . love resides in man's will; in the will it is like fire, and in the understanding like flame, . love cannot do otherwise than love, and unite itself, in order that it may be loved in return, . it is such, that it desires to communicate with another whom it loves from the heart, yea, to confer joys upon him, and thence to derive its own joys, . the love of man is his very life, not only the common life of his whole body, and the common life of all his thoughts, but also the life of all the particulars thereof, . a man is such as his love is, and not such as his understanding is, since the love easily draws over the understanding to its side, and enslaves it, . it is not possible that any love should become perfect either with men or with angels, , . love, conjugial, is the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves, , , . it is as a parent, and all other loves are as the offspring, . conjugial love essentially consists in the desire of two to become one, that is, their desire that two lives may become one life, , . it is the conjunction of love and wisdom, . the very origin of this love resides in the inmost principles appertaining to man, that is, in is soul, , . this origin springs from the marriage of good and truth, , - , , . this love is celestial, spiritual, and holy, because derived from a celestial, spiritual, and holy origin, . the love of the sex with man is not the origin of conjugial love, but is its first rudiment, . conjugial love in its origin is the sport of wisdom and love, . it is called celestial, as appertaining to the angels of the highest heaven, and spiritual, as appertaining to the angels beneath that heaven, . every angel has conjugial love with its virtue, ability, and delights, according to his application to the genuine use in which he is, . into conjugial love are collated all joys and delights from first to last, . whence arise the delights of conjugial love, which are innumerable and ineffable, . this love belongs to the internal or spiritual man, and hence is peculiar to man, , . conjugial love corresponds to the affection of truth, its chastity, purity, and sanctity, . it is according to the state of wisdom with man, . it remains with man after death such as it had been interiorly, that is, in the interior will and thought, . the purity of heaven is from conjugial love, . the delights of conjugial love commence in the spirit, and are of the spirit even in the flesh, . these delights are the delights of wisdom, . what are the delights of conjugial love, . how conjugial love is formed, . it corresponds to the marriage of the lord with the church, , . conjugial love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man, . the states of this love are, innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence, &c., . conjugial love is of infinite variety, . experience testifies that conjugial love exceeds self-love, the love of the world, and even the love of life, . conjugial love is so rare at this day, that its quality is not known, and scarcely its existence, . conjugial love, such as it was with the ancients, will be raised again by the lord, , . conjugial love is according to religion with man, spiritual with the spiritual, natural with the natural, and merely carnal with adulterers, . of the conjunction of conjugial love with the love of infants, - . of the imputation of conjugial love, - . of love truly conjugial, - . considered in itself, love truly conjugial is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavor towards conjunction in the bosoms, and thence in the body, . it was the love of loves with the ancients who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages, . considered in its origin and correspondence, it is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, . love truly conjugial is only with those who desire wisdom, and who consequently advance more and more into wisdom, . so far as a man loves wisdom from the love thereof, or truth from good, so far he is in love truly conjugial, and in its attendant virtue, . so far as man becomes spiritual, so far he is in love truly conjugial, . this love with its delights is solely from the lord, and is given to those who live according to his precepts, . love truly conjugial may exist with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other, . how love truly conjugial is distinguished from spurious, false, and cold conjugial love, . difference between love truly conjugial and vulgar love, which is also called conjugial, and which with some is merely the limited love of the sex, . love of the body, the.--dignities and honors are peculiarly the objects of the love of the body; besides these, there are also various enticing allurements, such as beauty and an external polish of manners, sometimes even an unchasteness of character, . love of children, the, with the mother and the father, conjoin themselves as the heart and lungs in the breast, . the love of infants corresponds to the defence of truth and good, . why the love of infants descends and does not ascend, . the love of infants and of children is different with spiritual married partners from what it is with natural, . the love of infants remains after death, especially with women, . of the conjunction of conjugial love with the love of infants, - . love of dominion, the, grounded in the love of self, and the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses, . the love of dominion grounded in the love of self, is the first universal love of hell; it is in the highest degree infernal, . the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses is the universal love of heaven; it is in the highest degree celestial, , . when the ruling love is touched, there ensues an emotion of the mind (_animus_), and if the touch hurts, there ensues wrath, . love of the neighbor, the, is also the love of doing uses, . the love of the neighbor, or of doing uses, is a spiritual love, . love, polygamical, is connubial, and at the same time adulterous, . it is the love of the sex, limited to a number, . it is the love of the external or natural man, and thus is not conjugial love, . it is inscribed on the natural man, . love of self, the, is also the love of bearing rule over others, . the love of self, or the love of bearing rule over others, is a corporeal love, . love of the sex, the, is a love directed to several, and contracted with several of the sex, . the love of the sex exists with the natural man, but conjugial love with the spiritual man, . the love of the sex with man is not the origin of conjugial love, but is its first rudiment; thus it is like an external natural principle, in which an internal spiritual principle is implanted, . it is the first in respect to time, but not in respect to end, . the love of the sex is the universal of all loves, being implanted from creation in the heart of man, and is for the sake of the propagation of the human race, . what the chaste love of the sex is, and whence derived, , . the love of the sex belongs to the external of natural man, and hence is common to every animal, . it is in itself natural, . origin of the love of the sex, . it is at first corporeal, next it becomes sensual, afterwards it becomes natural, like the same love with other animals; but afterwards it may become natural-rational, and from natural-rational, spiritual, and lastly spiritual-natural, . the nature of the love of the sex if it becomes active before marriage, . the results of checking such love, . the love of the sex remains with man after death, . it remains such as it was in its interior quality, that is, such as it had been in his interior will and thought, . love of uses, the, is from the lord, , , . so far as we do uses from the love thereof, so far that love increases, . the love of doing uses is also neighborly love, . love of the world, the, is also the love of possessing wealth, . the love of the world, or the love of possessing wealth, is a material love, . love, the ruling, is the head of all the rest, . the reason why this love remains with man to eternity, . loves.--there are three universal loves which form the constituents of every man by creation, neighborly love, the love of the world, and the love of self, . a man is a man if these loves are subordinate in that degree that the first constitutes the head, the second the body, and the third the feet, . natural, spiritual, and celestial loves; natural loves relate to the loves of self and the world, spiritual loves to love towards the neighbor, and celestial loves to love towards the lord, . when natural loves flow from spiritual loves, and spiritual from celestial; then the natural loves live from the spiritual, and the spiritual from the celestial; and all in this order live from the lord, in whom they originate, . apparent loves between married partners are a consequence of the conjugial covenant being ratified for the term of life, . the loves of animals are altogether united with their connate science, . see _beasts_. love, adulterous.--concerning the opposition of adulterous love to conjugial love, - . by adulterous love opposite to conjugial love, is meant the love of adultery, so long as it is such as not to be reputed as sin, nor as evil and dishonorable, contrary to reason, but as allowable with reason, . the quality of adulterous love is not known, unless it be known what is the quality of conjugial love, . the impurity of hell is from adulterous love, . the delights of adulterous love commence from the flesh, and are of the flesh even in the spirit, . the origin of adulterous love is from the connection (_connubium_) of what is evil and false, . of the imputation of adulterous love, - . love and wisdom constitute the marriage of the lord and the church, . the lord is love, and the church is wisdom, . love and wisdom are the same thing as good and truth, . love consists of goods, and wisdom of truths, . lowest, the, things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous order, . lucifer, . lungs, the, signify wisdom, . the lungs rule by respiration in every part of the body, . lust.--the natural man is nothing but an abode and receptacle of concupiscences and lust, . in all that proceeds from the natural man, there is concupiscence and lust, . concerning the unchaste love of the sex with the young, . with the married. . concerning various lusts, - , ; - , , - , , , , . luxury, . lymphs of the brain, . madness is a vitiated state of the mind, and a legitimate cause of separation, . mahomet, , . mahometan religion, . how it originated, . it was raised up of the lord's divine providence, to the end that it might destroy the idolatries of many nations, . mahometans.--why it is permitted the mahometans to marry a plurality of wives, . the mahometan heaven is out of the christian heaven, and is divided into two heavens, the one inferior and the other superior, . male and female.--man (_homo_) is male and female, , . the male and female were created to be the essential form of the marriage of good and truth, and following. the male was created to be the understanding of truth, thus truth in form; and the female was created to be the will of good, thus good in form, , . the male is born intellectual, or in the affection of knowing, of understanding, and growing wise; and the female partakes more of the will principle, or is born into the love of conjoining herself with the affection in the male, . therefore, the male and female differ as to the face, tone of the voice, and form, , . distinct affections, applications, manners, and forms of the male and female, , . the male is the wisdom of love, and the female the love of that wisdom, . after death the male lives a male, and the female a female, each being a spiritual man, , ; neither is there any thing wanting, . male principle, the, consists in perceiving from the understanding, . the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is in the male principle, , , . in what the male principle essentially consists, . see _female principle_. man is born in a state of greater ignorance than the beasts, *. without instruction he is neither a man nor a beast, but he is a form which is capable of receiving in itself that which constitutes a man, thus he is not born a man but he is made a man, *. man is man by virtue of the will and the understanding, . he is a man from this circumstance, that he can will good, and understand truth, altogether as from himself, and yet know and believe that it is from god, . a man is a man, and is distinguished from the beasts by this circumstance, that his mind is distinguished into three regions, as many as the heavens are distinguished into, and that he is capable of being elevated out of the lowest region into the next above it, and also from this into the highest, and thus of becoming an angel of heaven, even of the third, . there are three things of which every man consists, the soul, the mind, and the body; his inmost principle is the soul, his middle is the mind, and his ultimate is the body, . as the soul is man's inmost principle, it is from its origin celestial; as the mind is his middle principle, it is from its origin spiritual; and as the body is his ultimate principle, it is from its origin natural, . the supreme principles in man are turned upwards to god, the middle principles outwards to the world, and the lowest principles downwards to self, . in man are all the affections of love, and thence all the perceptions of wisdom, compounded in the most perfect order, so as to make together what is unanimous, and thereby a one, . man, as to the affections and thoughts of his mind, is in the midst of angels and spirits, and is so consociated with them, that were he to be plucked asunder from them, he would instantly die, . man was created for uses, . man is male and female, . the male man and the female man were so created, that from two they may become as it were one man, or one flesh; and when they become one, then, taken together, they are a man (_homo_) in his fulness; but without such conjunctions they are two, and each is a divided or half man, . man was born to be wisdom, and the woman to be the love of the man's wisdom, . man is such as his love is, and not such as his understanding is, . the natural man, separate from the spiritual, is only man as to the understanding, and not as to the will; such a one is only half man, . a spiritual man is sensible of, and perceives spiritual delight, which is a thousand times superior to natural delight, . man lives a man after death, . man after death is not a natural man, but a spiritual or substantial man, . a spiritual or substantial man sees a spiritual or substantial man, as a natural or material man sees a natural or material man, . man after death puts off every thing which does not agree with his love, yea, he successively puts on the countenance, the tone of voice, the speech, the gestures, and the manners of the love proper to his life, ; instead of a material body he enjoys a substantial one, wherein natural delight grounded in spiritual is made sensible in its eminence, . men left in the forests when they were about two or three years old, *, *. difference between men and beasts, , , . marriage-apartment of the will and understanding, . marriage is the fulness of man (_homo_), for by it a man becomes a full man, ; thus a state of marriage is preferable to a state of celibacy, . consent is the essential of marriage, and all succeeding ceremonies are its formalities, . the covenant of marriage is for life, . marriages in themselves are spiritual, and thence holy, . marriages are the seminaries of the human race, and thence also the seminaries of the heavenly kingdom, . marriages made in the world are for the most part external, and not at the same time internal, when yet it is the internal conjunction, or conjunction of souls, which constitutes a real marriage, , . marriages interiorly conjunctive can hardly be entered into in the world, the reason why, , . of reiterated marriages, - . there are in the world infernal marriages between married partners, who interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the closest friends, . of marriages in heaven, - . how in heaven marriages from love truly conjugial are provided by the lord, , . spiritual prolification of love and wisdom from marriages in heaven, . beneath heaven there are no marriages (_conjugia_), . concerning the marriage of the lord and the church, and the correspondence thereof, - . marriage, the, of god and truth, , . the reason why it has been heretofore unknown, . how it takes place with man, , . it is the church with man, and is the same thing as the marriage of charity and faith, . the marriage of good and truth is in every thing of the word, ; from this marriage proceed all the loves which constitute heaven and the church with man, . the marriage of good and truth flows into every thing of the universe, , . to be given in marriage signifies to enter heaven, where the marriage of good and truth takes place, . married partners, two, who are principled in love truly conjugial, are actually forms of the marriage of good and truth, or of love and wisdom, , , . the will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man with the will of the wife, , . love is inspired into the man by his wife, . the conjunction of the wife with the man's rational principle is from within, . the wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing forth from the love of him, - . there are duties proper to the man, and duties proper to the wife; the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the man, nor can the man enter into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright, , . marriage induces other forms in the souls and minds of married partners, . the woman is actually formed into a wife according to the description in the book of creation, gen. ii. , , , . two married partners in heaven are called, not two angels, but one angel, . two married partners most commonly meet after death, know each other, again associate, &c. . if they can live together, they remain married partners, but if they cannot, they separate themselves, , , . marrow, spinal, .--the marrows represent the interiors of the mind and of the body, . marry, to.--when a man marries he becomes a fuller man, because he is joined with a consort, with whom he acts as one man, . see _marriage_. mary signifies the church, . materials.--substantials are the beginnings of materials, . natural things, which are material, cannot enter into spiritual things, which are substantial. , material things originate in substantial, . material things derive their origin from things substantial, . mechanics is one of the sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom. . meats,--there are in heaven, as in the world, both meats and drinks, . see _food._ mediums are conducive to what is first in itself, . medium, the, of conjunction of the lord with man, is the word, . medullary substance of the brain, . meteor in the spiritual world, . mind, the, is intermediate between the soul and the body, ; although it appears to be in the head, it is actually in the whole body, , . the human mind is distinguished into regions, as the world is distinguished into regions as to the atmospheres, , ; the supreme region of the mind is called celestial, the middle region spiritual, and the lowest region natural, , . the mind is successively opened from infancy even to extreme old age, . as a man advances from science into intelligence, and from intelligence into wisdom, so also his mind changes its form, . with some, the mind is closed from beneath, and is sometimes twisted as a spire into the adverse principle; with others that principle is not closed, but remains half open above, and with some open, . with men there is an elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women there is an elevation of the mind into superior heat, . the mind of every man, according to his will and consequent understanding, actually dwells in one society of the spiritual world, and intends and thinks in like manner with those who compose the society, . the lower principles of the mind are unchaste, but its higher principles chaste, . every man has an internal and an external mind, with the wicked the internal mind is insane, and the external is wise; but with the good the internal mind is wise, and from this also the external, . with the ancients, the science of correspondences conjoined the sensual things of the body with the perceptions of the mind, and procured intelligence, . _obs._--the mind is composed of two faculties which make man to be man, namely, the will and the understanding. the mind composed of the spiritual will and of the spiritual understanding, is the internal man; it incloses the inmost man or soul (_anima_), and it is inclosed by the natural mind or external man, composed of the natural will and understanding. this natural mind, together with a sort of mind still more exterior, called the _animus_, which is formed by the external affections and inclinations resulting from education, society, and custom, is the external mind. the whole organized in a perfect human form, is called spirit (_spiritus_). the spirit in our world is covered with a terrestrial body, which renders it invisible; but, freed from this body by natural death, it enters the spiritual world, where its spiritual body is perfectly visible and tactile. miracles.--why there are none in the present day, . mire.--in hell lascivious delights are represented under the appearance of mire, &c., . mistress, . modesty is one of those virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . monasteries.--what becomes in the other life of those who have been shut up in monasteries, , . virgins devoted to the monastic life, . monogamists.--all in heaven live married to one wife, . monogamical marriages, , , . they correspond to the marriage of the lord and the church, and originate in the marriages of good and truth, . monogamy.--why monogamy exists with christian nations, - . mote.--wonderful things respecting it, . mother.--the church in the world is called mother, , . morality, genuine, is the wisdom of life, . spiritual morality is the result of a life from the lord according to the truths of the word, . multiplicable.--every thing is multiplicable _in infinitum_, . munificence is one of those virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . muses, nine, or virgins represent knowledges and sciences of every kind, . nakedness signifies innocence, . natural, the, derives its origin from the spiritual, . difference between the natural and spiritual, - . the natural principle is distinguished into three degrees; the so-called natural, the natural sensual, and the natural-corporeal, . the natural man is nothing but an abode and receptacle of concupiscences and lusts, . there are three degrees of the natural man, . those who love only the world, placing their heart in wealth, are properly meant by the natural, ; they pour forth into the world all things of the will and understanding, covetously and fraudulently acquiring wealth, and regarding no other use therein, and thence but that of possession, . nature is the recipient whereby love and wisdom produce their effects or uses, ; thus nature is derived from life, and not life from nature, . all the parts of nature derive their subsistence and existence from the sun, . nature is in all time, in time, and in all space, in space, . nature, with her time and space, must of necessity have a beginning and a birth, . wherefore nature is from god, not from eternity, but in time, that is, together with her time and space, . necessity for apparent love and friendship in marriages, for the sake of order being preserved in houses, , and following, . nemesis, . novitiates, .--novitiate spirit, . see _spirits_. nuptials celebrated in heaven, - . there are nuptials in the heavens as in the earths, but only with those in the heavens who are in the marriage of good and truth; nor are any others angels, . by the words of the lord, "those who shall be accounted worthy to attain another age, neither marry nor are given in marriage," no other nuptials are meant than spiritual nuptials, and by spiritual nuptials is meant conjunction with the lord, . these spiritual nuptials take place in the earths, but not after departure thence, thus not in the heavens, . to celebrate nuptials signifies to be joined with the lord, . to enter into nuptials is to be received into heaven by the lord, . why nuptials in the world are essential solemnities, . obstructions of inmost life, whence they proceed, . occiput, , . ochim, the, in hell, represent the images of the phantasies of the internals, , . ode sung by virgins in the spiritual world, . odors, the, whereby the chaste pleasures of conjugial love are presented to the senses in the spiritual world, are the perfumes arising from fruits, and the fragrances from flowers, . offensive appearances, odors, and forms, under which unchaste delights are presented to the view in hell, . offices and employments in the spiritual world, . offsprings, the, derived from the lord as a husband and father, and from the church as a wife and mother, are all spiritual, . the spiritual offsprings which are born from the lord's marriage with the church are truths and goods, . from the marriages of the angels in the heavens are generated spiritual offsprings, which are those of love and wisdom, or of good and truth, . spiritual offsprings, which are produced from the marriages of the angels, are such things as are of wisdom from the father, and of love from the mother, . see _storge_. oil signifies good, . old men, decrepit, and infirm old women are restored by the lord to the power of their age, when from a religious principle they have shunned adulteries as enormous sins, . olive-trees in the spiritual world represent conjugial love in the highest region, , one, the, from whom all things have life and from whom form coheres, is the lord, . in heaven two married partners are called two when they are named husband and wife, but one when they are named angels, . when the will of two married partners become one, they become one man (_homo_), . operations, all, in the universe have a progression from ends through causes into effects, . opinions on celestial joys and eternal happiness, . opposite.--there is not any thing in the universe which has not its opposite, . opposites, in regard to each other, are not relatives, but contraries, . when an opposite acts upon an opposite, one destroys the other even to the last spark of its life, . marriages and adulteries are diametrically opposite to each other, . opposition of adulterous love and conjugial love, - . opulence in heaven is the faculty of growing wise, according to which faculty wealth is given in abundance, . orchestra, . order, all, proceeds from first principles to last, and the last becomes the first of some following order, . all things of a middle order are the last of a prior order, . there is successive order and simultaneous order; the latter is from the former and according to it, . in successive order, one thing follows after another from what is highest to what is lowest, . in simultaneous order, one thing is next to another from what is inmost to what is outermost, . successive order is like a column with steps from the highest to the lowest, . simultaneous order is like a work cohering from the centre to the superficies, . successive order becomes simultaneous in the ultimate, the highest things of successive order become the inmost of simultaneous order, and the lowest things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous order, . successive order of conjugial love, , . organization, the, of the life of man according to his love, cannot be changed after death, . a change of organization cannot possibly be effected, except in the material body, and is utterly impossible in the spiritual body after the former has been rejected, . organs.--such as conjugial love is in the minds or spirits of two persons, such is it interiorly in its organs, . in these organs are terminated the forms of the mind with those who are principled in conjugial love, . origin of evil, . origin of conjugial love, , , , - , , . origin of the mahometan religion, . origin of the beauty of the female sex, - . outermost, the, lowest things of successive order become the outermost of simultaneous order, . _obs._--the outermost is predicated of what is most exterior, in opposition to the inmost, or that which is most interior. owls in the spiritual world are correspondences and consequent appearances of the thoughts of confirmators, . pagans, the, who acknowledge a god and live according to the civil laws of justice, are saved, . palace representative of conjugial love, . small palace inhabited by two novitiate conjugial partners, . description of the palace of a celestial society, . palladium, *. palm-trees, in the spiritual world, represent conjugial love of the middle region, . palms of the hands, in the, resides with wives a sixth sense, which is a sense of all the delights of the conjugial love of the husband, *. paper on which was written arcana at this day revealed by the lord, . paper bearing this inscription, "the marriage of good and truth," . paradise, spiritually understood, is intelligence, . paradise on the confines of heaven, . paralysis, , . parchment in heaven.--roll of parchment containing arcana of wisdom concerning conjugial love, . sheet of parchment, on which were the rules of the people of the first age, . parnassides, sports of the, in the spiritual world, . these sports were spiritual exercises and trials of skill, . parnassus, *, , . particulars are in universals as parts in a whole, . whoever knows universals, may afterwards comprehend particulars, . _obs._--particulars taken together are called universals. partner.--those who have lived in love truly conjugial, after the death of their married partners, are unwilling to enter into iterated marriages, the reason why, . see _married partners_. pathology, . peace is the blessed principle of every delight which is of good, . peace, because it proceeds immediately from the lord, is one of the two inmost principles of heaven, . peace in their homes gives serenity to the minds of husbands, and disposes them to receive agreeably the kindnesses offered by their wives, . peace is in conjugial love, and relates to the soul, . pegasus.--by the winged horse pegasus the ancients meant the understanding of truth, by which comes wisdom; by the hoofs of his feet they understood experiences, whereby comes natural intelligence, . pellicacy, , , . perception, common, is the same thing us influx from heaven into the interiors of the mind, . by virtue of this perception, man inwardly in himself perceives truths, and as it were sees them, . all have not common perception, . there is an internal perception of love, and an external perception, which sometimes hides the internal, . the external perception of love originates in those things which regard the love of the world, and of the body, . _obs._--perception is a sensation derived from the lord alone, and has relation to the good and true, _a.c._ . perception consists in seeing that a truth is true, and that a good is good; also that an evil is evil, and a false is false, _a.c._ . its opposite is phantasy. see _phantasy, obs_. peregrinations of man in the societies of the spiritual world, during his life in the natural world, . periods whereby creation is preserved in the state foreseen and provided for, , . periosteums, . peter, the apostle, represented truth and faith, . phantasy, .--those are in the phantasy of their respective concupiscences who think interiorly in themselves, and too much indulge their imagination by discoursing with themselves; for these separate their spirit almost from connection with the body, and by vision overflow the understanding, . what is the fate of those after death who have given themselves up to their phantasy, , . errors which phantasy has introduced through ignorance of the spiritual world and of its sun, . _obs._--phantasy is an appearance of perception: it consists in seeing what is true as false, and what is good as evil and what is evil as good, and what is false as true, _a.c._. . phantoms.--who those are who in the other life appear as phantoms, . philosophers, difference between, and _sophi_, . the ancient people, who acknowledged the wisdom of reason as wisdom, were called philosophers, . see _sophi_. philosophical considerations concerning the abstract substance, form, subject. &c., , . philosophy is one of those sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the grounds of rational wisdom, . physics is one of the sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . place.--in the spiritual world there are places as in the natural world, otherwise there could be no habitations and distinct abodes, . nevertheless place is not place, but an appearance of place, according to the state of love and wisdom. . places of instruction in the spiritual world, . places, public, in the spiritual world, , . planes successive, formed in man, on which superior principles may rest and find support, . the ultimate plane in which the sphere of conjugial love and its opposite terminate is the same, . the rational plane, with man, is the medium between heaven and hell; the marriage of good and truth flows into this plane from above, and the marriage of evil and false flows into it from beneath, . planets.--revelations made at the present day concerning the inhabitants of the planets, . see treatise by the author on _the earths in the universe_. plastic force in animals and vegetables, whence it proceeds, . plato, *. platonist.--arcana unfolded by a platonist, *. pleasures.--sensations, with the pleasures thence derived, appertain to the body, . the delights of adulterous love are the pleasures of insanity, , . pledges.--after a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given, . these pledges are continual visible witnesses of mutual love, hence also they are memorials thereof, . poland, . poles, , . political self-love, its nature and quality, . it would make its votaries desirous of being emperors if left without restraint, . politics is one of those sciences by which an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom, . polygamical love is the love of the external, or natural man, . in this love there is neither chastity, purity, nor sanctify, . polygamist, no, so long as he remain such, is capable of being made spiritual, . conjugial chastity, purity, and sanctity cannot exist with polygamists, . polygamy, of, - . whence it originates, . polygamy is lasciviousness, . polygamy is not a sin with those who live in it from a religious principle, as did the israelites, . why polygamy was permitted to the israelitish nation, . popes.--dreadful fate of two popes who had compelled emperors to resign their dominions, and had behaved ill to them, both in word and deed, at rome, whither they came to supplicate and adore them, . portico of palm-trees and laurels, . posterior, the, is derived from the prior, as the effect from its cause, . that which is posterior exists from what is prior, as it exists from what is prior, . between prior and posterior there is no determinate proportion, . power, active or living, and passive or dead, . whence proceeds the propagative, or plastic force, in seeds of the vegetable kingdom, . precept.--he who from purpose or confirmation acts against one precept, acts against the rest, . the precepts of regeneration are five, see n. : among which are these, that evils ought to be shunned, because they are of the devil, and from the devil; that goods are to be done, because they are of god, and from god; and that men ought to go to the lord, in order that he may lead them to do the latter, . predicates.--a subject without predicates is also an entity which has no existence in reason (_ens nullius rationis_), . predications are made by a man according to his rational light, . predications of four degrees of adulteries, and following. difference between predications, charges of blame, and imputations, . prelates, why the, of the church have given the pre-eminence to faith, which is of truth, above charity, which is of good, . preparation for heaven or for hell, in the world of spirits, has for its end that the internal and external may agree together and make one, and not disagree and make two, *. presence.--the origin or cause of presence in the spiritual world, . man is receptible of the lord's presence, and of conjunction with him. to come to him, causes presence, and to live according to his commandments, causes conjunction, . his presence alone is without reception, but presence and conjunction together are with reception, . the truth of faith constitutes the lord's presence, . preservation is perpetual creation, . whence arises perpetual preservation, . pretender.--every man who is not interiorly led by the lord is a pretender, a sycophant, a hypocrite, and thereby an apparent man, and yet not a man, . priest, chief, of a society in heaven, . primary.--what is first in respect to end, is first in the mind and its intention, because it is regarded as primary, . things primary exist, subsist, and persist, from things ultimate, . primeval.--in the world, at the present day, nothing is known of the primeval state of man, which is called a state of integrity, . what the primeval state of creation was, and how man is led back to it by the lord, . prince of a society in heaven, and following, . principle, the primary, of the church is the good of charity, and not the truth of faith, . principles and principiates, . _obs._--principiates derive their essence from principles, _t.c.r_., . all things of the body are principiates, that is, are compositions of fibres, from principles which are receptacles of love and wisdom, _d.l. and w_., . probity is one of those virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . problem concerning the soul, . proceed, to.--all things which proceed from the lord, are in an instant from first principles in last, . procreation, sphere of the love of, . progression.--there is no progression of good to evil, but a progression of good to a greater and less good, and evil to a greater and less evil, . a progression from ends through causes into effects is inscribed on every man in general, and in every particular, , . decreasing progression of conjugial love, . prolification corresponds to the propagation of truth, . spiritual prolification is that of love and wisdom, , . origin of natural prolifications, . the sphere of prolification is the same as the universal sphere of the marriage of good and truth, which proceeds from the lord, . all prolification is originally derived from the influx of love, wisdom, and use from the lord, from an immediate influx into the souls of men, from a mediate influx into the souls of animals, and from an influx still more mediate into the inmost principles of vegetables, . prolifications are continuations of creation, . the principle of prolification is derived from the intellect alone, . in the principle of prolification of the husband is the soul, and also his mind as to its interiors, which are conjoined to the soul, . its state with husbands, if married pairs were in the marriage of good and truth, . promulgation, cause of the, of the decalogue by jehovah god upon mount sinai, . propagate, to.--love and wisdom, with use, not only constitute man (_homo_), but also are man, and propagate man, . a feminine principle is propagated from intellectual good, . propagation, all, is originally derived from the influx of love, wisdom, and use from the lord, from an immediate influx into the souls of men, from a mediate in flux into the souls of animals, and from an influx still more mediate into the inmost principles of vegetables, . propagations are continuations of creation, . propagation of the soul, , , , , . the propagation of the human race, and thence of the angelic heaven, was the chief end of creation. . propagate, or plastic force of vegetables and animals, whence it originated, . proprium, man's, from his birth is essentially evil, . the _proprium_ of man's (_homo_) will, is to love himself, and the _proprium_ of his understanding is to love his own wisdom, . these two propriums are deadly evils to man, if they remain with him, . the love of these two propriums is changed into conjugial love, so far as man cleaves to his wife, that is, receives her love, . providence, the divine, of the lord extends to every thing, even to the minutest particulars concerning marriages, and in marriages, , . the operations of uses, by the lord, by the spheres which proceed from him, are the divine providence, , . _obs._--the divine providence is the same as the mediate and immediate influx from the lord, _a.c._ . see the _treatise on the divine providence_, by the author. prudence is one of the moral virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . nothing of prudence can possibly exist but from god, . prudence of wives in concealing their love, . this prudence is innate, . it was implanted in women from creation, and consequently by birth, . of self-derived prudence, . pulpit in a temple in the spiritual world, . pu, or pau, , , . _obs._--this is the greek word [greek: pou], written in ordinary characters; the author gives the latin translation at n. . (in quodam pu seu ubi.) this word expresses the uncertainty in which philosophers and theologians are on the subject of the soul. pure.--it is not possible that any love should become absolutely pure, with men or with angels, , . to the pure all things are pure, but to them that are defiled, nothing is pure, . purification the spiritual, of conjugial love may be compared to the purification of natural spirits, as effected by the chemists, . wisdom purified may be compared with alcohol, which is a spirit highly rectified, . purity, the, of heaven is from conjugial love, . in like manner the purity of the church, . purple, the, color from its correspondence signifies the conjugial love of the wife, . purpose.--that which flows forth from the very essence of a man's life, thus which flows forth from his will or his love, is principally called purpose, . as soon as any one from purpose or confirmation abstains from any evil because it is sin, he is kept by the lord in the purpose of abstaining from the rest, . pustules, , . put away, to.--putting away on account of adultery is a plenary separation of minds, which is called divorce, . other kinds of putting away, grounded in their particular causes, are separations, . put off, to.--man after death puts off every thing which does not agree with his love, . how a man after death puts off externals and puts on informals, * pythagoras, *. pythagoreans, *. quality of the love of the sex in heaven, . the quality of every deed, and in general the quality of every thing depends upon the circumstances which mitigate or aggravate it, . rainbow painted on a wall in the spiritual world, . rational principle, the, is the medium between heaven and the world, . above the rational principle is heavenly light, and below the rational principle is natural light, . the rational principle is formed more and more to the reception of heaven or of hell, according as man turns himself towards good or evil, . _obs._--the rational principle of man partakes of the spiritual and natural, or is a medium between them, _a.c._, . rationality, spiritual, comes by means of the word, and of preachings derived therefrom, . natural, sensual, and corporeal men enjoy, like other men, the powers of rationality, but they use it while they are in externals, and abuse it while in their internals, , . rationality, with devils, proceeds from the glory of the love of self, , and also with atheists, who enjoy a more sublime rationality than many others, . rationality and liberty.--when man turns himself to the lord, his rationality and liberty are led by the lord; but if backwards, from the lord, his rationality and liberty are led by hell, . reaction.--in all conjunction by love there must be action, reception, and reaction, . read, to.--while man reads the word, and collects truths out of it, the lord adjoins good, ; but this takes place interiorly with those only who read the word to the end that they may become wise, . real.--love and wisdom are collected together in use, and therein become one principle, which is called real, . reason, human, is such that it understands truths from the light thereof, as though was not heretofore distinguished them, . reasoners.--they are named such who never conclude any thing, and make whatever they hear a matter of argument and dispute whether it be so, with perpetual contradiction, . what their fate is in the other life, . reasonings, the, of the generality commence merely from effects, and from effects proceed to some consequences thence resulting, and do not commence from causes, and from causes proceed analytically to effects, . truth does not admit of reasonings, . they favor the delights of the flesh against those of the spirit, . reception is according to religion, . without conjunction there is no reception, . see _reaction_. recipient.--man is a recipient of god, and consequently a recipient of love and wisdom from him, . a recipient becomes an image of god according to reception, . reciprocal principle, the, of conjunction with god, is, that a man should love god, and relish the things which are of god, as from himself, and yet believe that they are of god, , . without such a reciprocal principle conjunction is impossible, . rectification.--the purification of conjugial love may be compared to the purification of natural spirits, effected by chemists, and called rectification, . reformed, to be.--man is reformed by the understanding, and this is effected by the knowledges of good and truth, and by a rational intuition grounded therein, . regeneration is a successive separation from the evils to which man is naturally inclined, . regeneration is purification from evils, and thereby renovation of life, . the precepts of regeneration are five, . see _precepts_. by regeneration a man is made altogether new as to his spirit, and this is effected by a life according to the lord's precepts, . regions of the mind.--in human minds there are three regions, of which the highest is called the celestial, the middle the spiritual, and the lowest the natural, . in the lowest man is born; he ascends into the next above it by a life according to the truths of religion, and into the highest by the marriage of love and wisdom, . in the lowest region dwells natural love, in the superior spiritual love, and in the supreme celestial love, . in each region there is a marriage of love and wisdom, . the pleasantnesses of conjugial love in the highest region are perceived as blessednesses, in the middle region as satisfactions, and in the lowest region as delights, . in the lowest region reside all the concupiscences of evil and of lasciviousness; in the superior region there are not any concupiscences of evil and of lasciviousness, for man is introduced into this region by the lord when he is reborn; in the supreme region is conjugial chastity in its love, into this region man is elevated by the love of uses, . reign, to, with christ is to be wise, and perform uses, . relation, there is no, of good to evil, but a relation of good to a greater and less good, and of evil to a greater and less evil, . what is signified by the expression, for the sake of relatives, . relatives subsist between the greatest and the least of the same thing, , . religion constitutes the state of the church with man, . religion is implanted in souls, and by souls is transmitted from parents to their offspring, as the supreme inclination, . with christians it is formed by the good of life, agreeable to the truth of doctrine, . conjugial love is grounded in religion, . where there is not religion, neither is there conjugial love, . there is no religion without the truths of religion; what is religion without truths, . religion, as it is the marriage of the lord and the church, is the initiament and inoculation of conjugial love, . that love in its progress accompanies religion, . the first internal cause of cold in marriages is the rejection of religion by each of the parties, . the second cause is, that one has religion and not the other, . the third is, that one of the parties is of one religion, and the other of another, . the fourth is the falsity of religion, . _obs._--there is a difference which it is important to bear in mind, between religion and the church; the church of the lord, it is true, is universal, and is with all those who acknowledge a divine being, and live in charity whatever else may be their creed; but the church is especially where the word is, and where by means of the word the lord is known. in the countries where the word does not exist, or is withdrawn from the people and replaced by human decisions, as among the roman catholics, there is religion alone, but there is, to speak correctly, no church. among protestants, there is both religion and a church, but this church has come to an end, because it has perverted the word. renew, to.--every part of man, both interior and exterior, renews itself, and this is effected by solutions and reparations, . renunciation of whoredoms, whence exists the chastity of marriage, how it is effected, . repasts.--in heaven, as in the world, there are repasts, . representations.--among the ancients the study of their bodily senses consisted in representations of truths in forms, . representative.--to those who are in the third heaven, every representative of love and wisdom becomes real, . respiration of the lungs, the, has relation to truth, . rest.--what is the meaning of eternal rest, . retain, to--in whatever state man is he retains the faculty of elevating the understanding, . revelations made at the present day by the lord, . rib, by a, of the breast is signified, in the spiritual sense, natural truth, . right, the, signifies good, . it also signifies power, . rites, customary.--there are customary rites which are merely formal, and there are others which, at the same time, are also essential, . rivalship or emulation between married parties respecting right and power, . emulation of prominence between married partners is one of the external causes of cold, . rules of life concerning marriages, . universal rule, , . sabbath, the.--the life of heaven from the worship of god, is called a perpetual sabbath, . celebration of the sabbath in a heavenly society, , . sacrilege.--see _sacrimony_. sacrimony.--in heaven, marriage with one wife is called sacrimony, but if it took place with more than one it would be called sacrilege, . sagacity is one of the principles constituent of natural wisdom, . sanctities.--the marriage of the lord and the church, and the marriage of good and truth, are essential sanctities, . sanctity of the holy scriptures, . sanctuary of the tabernacle of worship amongst the most ancient in heaven, . satans.--they are called satans who have confirmed themselves in favor of nature to the denial of god, . those who are evil from the understanding dwell in the front in hell, and are called satans, but those who are in evil from the will, dwell to the back and are called devils, . see _devils_. satan wishing to demonstrate that nature is god, . _obs._--in the word, by the devil is understood that hell which is to the back, and in which are the most wicked, called evil genii; and by satan, that hell in which dwell those who are not so wicked, who are called evil spirits, _h. and h._, . satisfaction.--in love truly conjugial exists a state of satisfaction, . saturnine or golden age, *. satyrs.--in the spiritual world the satyr-like form is the form of dissolute adultery, . saved, to be.--all in the universe who acknowledge a god, and, from a religious principle, shun evil as sins against him, are saved, . science is a principle of knowledges, . there is no end to science, . man is not born into the science of any love, but beasts and birds are born into the science of all their loves, . man is born without sciences, to the end that he may receive them all; whereas, supposing him to be born into sciences, he could not receive any but those into which he was born, . science and love are undivided companions, . science of correspondences, the, was among the ancients the science of sciences, . it was the knowledge concerning the spiritual things of heaven and the church, and thence they derived wisdom, . it conjoined the sensual things of their bodies with the perceptions of their minds, and procured to them intelligence, . this science having been turned into idolatrous science, was so obliterated and destroyed by the divine providence of the lord, that no visible traces of it were left remaining, . nevertheless, it has been again discovered by the lord, in order that the men of the church may again have conjunction with him, and consociation with the angels; which purposes are effected by the word, in which all things are correspondences, . see _correspondences_. scorbutic phthisic, , . scripture, the sacred, which proceeded immediately from the lord, is, in general and in particular, a marriage of good and truth, . seat, the, of jealousy is in the understanding of the husband, . seducers.--their sad lot after death, . see, to, that what is true is true, and that what is false is false, is to see from heavenly light in natural light, . seeds spiritually understood are truths, . by the seed of man, whereby iron shall be mixed with clay, and still they shall not cohere, is meant the truth of the word falsified, . formation of seed, , , . self-conceit, or self-derived intelligence.--the love of wisdom, if it remains with man, and is not transcribed into the woman, is an evil love, and is called self-conceit, or the love of his own intelligence, , . the wife continually attracts to herself her husband's conceit of his own intelligence, and extinguishes it in him, and verifies it in herself, . he who, from a principle of self-love, is vain of his own intelligence, cannot possibly love his wife with true conjugial love, . semblances, conjugial, - . semination corresponds to the potency of truth, . it has a spiritual origin, and proceeds from the truths of which the understanding consists, . sensations with the pleasures thence derived appertain to the body, and affections with the thoughts thence derived appertain to the mind, . sense.--every love has its own proper sense, . spiritual origin of the natural senses, . see _taste, smell, hearing, touch, sight_. each of these senses has its delights, with variations according to the specific uses of each, . the sense proper to conjugial love is the sense of touch, . the use of this sense is the complex of all other uses, . wives have a sixth sense, and which is a sense of all the delights of the conjugial love of the husband, and this sense they have in the palms of their hands, *. sensual.--natural men who love only the delights of the senses, placing their heart in every kind of luxury and pleasure, are properly meant by the sensual, . the sensual immerse all things of the will, and consequently of the understanding, in the allurements and fallacies of the senses, indulging in these alone, . separations of married partners. legitimate causes thereof, - . serene, principle of peace, *. series.--all those things which precede in minds form series, which collect themselves together, one near another, and one after another, and these together, compose a last or ultimate, in which they co-exist, . the series of the love of infants, from its greatest to its least, thus to the boundary in which it subsists or ceases, is retrograde, the reason why, . serpent, the, signifies the love of self-intelligence, . by the serpent, gen. iii. is meant the devil, as to the conceit of self-love and self-intelligence, . in hell, the forms of beasts, under which the lascivious delights of adulterous love are presented to the sight, are serpents, &c., . sex.--the love of the male sex differs from that of the female sex, . origin of the beauty of the female sex, - . cause of the beauty of the female sex, . sheep, in the spiritual world, are the representative forms of the state of innocence and peace of the inhabitants, . sheepfold signifies the church, . shower, golden, *, . sight.--there is in man an internal and an external sight, . natural sight is grounded in spiritual sight, which is that of the understanding, . the love of seeing, grounded in the love of understanding, has the sense of seeing; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of symmetry and beauty, . how gross the sight of the eye is, . silver signifies intelligence in spiritual truths, and thence in natural truths, . the silver age, . simple.--every thing divided is more and more multiple, and not more and more simple, . simultaneous.--there is simultaneous order and successive order, . that simultaneous order is grounded in successive, and is according to it, is not known, . sin.--all that which is contrary to religion is believed to be sin, because it is contrary to god; and, on the other hand, all that which agrees with religion is believed not to be sin, because it agrees with god, . sincerity is one of those virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . singing in heaven, , *. sirens, fantastic beauty of, in the spiritual world, . sisters.--the lord calls those brethren and sisters who are of his church, . six.--the number six signifies all and what is complete, . sleep, the, into which adam fell, when the woman was created, signifies man's entire ignorance that the wife is formed, and, as it were, created from him, . sleep, to, gen. ii. , signifies to be in ignorance, . sleep in heaven, . slothful, to the, in the spiritual world, food is not given, . small-pox, , . smelling, natural, is grounded in spiritual smelling, which is perception, . the love of knowing those things which float about in the air, grounded in the love of perceiving, is the sense of smelling; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of fragrance, . sobriety is one of those virtues which have respect to life, and enter into it, . society, every, in heaven may be considered as one common body, and the constituent angels as the similar parts thereof, from which the common body exists, . socrates, *. socratics, *. solitary, there is neither good nor solitary truth, but in all cases they are conjoined, . solutions and reparations by which every part of man, both interior and exterior, renews itself, . somnambulists act from the impulse of a blind science, the understanding being asleep, . sons in the word signify truths conceived in the spiritual man, and born in the natural, , . those who are regenerated by the lord are called in the word sons of god, sons of the kingdom, . sons-in-law, what, and daughters-in-law signify in the word, . songs in heaven, , . heavenly songs are in reality sonorous affections, or affections expressed and modified by sounds, . singing in heaven is an affection of the mind, which is let forth through the mouth as a tune, *. affections are expressed by songs, as thoughts are by discourse, . sophi.--the most ancient people did not acknowledge any other wisdom than the wisdom of life, and this was the wisdom of those who were formerly called _sophi_, . soul, the, is the inmost principle of man, , , . it is not life, but the proximate receptacle of life from god, and thereby the habitation of god, . it is a form of all things relating to love, and of all things relating to wisdom, . it is a form from which the smallest thing cannot be taken away, and to which the smallest thing cannot be added, and it is the inmost of all the forms of the whole body, . propagation of the soul, , . the soul of the offspring is from the father, and its clothing from the mother, , . the principle of truth in the soul is the origin of seed, in which is the soul of man, , . it is in a perfect human form, covered with substances from the purest principles of nature, whereof a body is formed in the womb of the mother, . the soul of man, and of every animal, from an implanted tendency to self-propagation, forms itself, clothes itself, and becomes seed, ; because the soul is a spiritual substance, which is not a subject of extension but of impletion, and from which no part can be taken away, but the whole may be produced without any loss thereof, hence it is that it is as fully present in the smallest receptacles, which are seeds, as in its greatest receptacle, the body, . the soul of every man, by its origin, is celestial, wherefore it receives influx immediately from the lord, . the soul and the mind are the man, since both constitute the spirit which lives after death, and which is in a perfect human form, . the soul constitutes the inmost principles not only of the head, but also of the body, . the soul and mind adjoin themselves closely to the flesh of the body, to operate and produce their effects, . a masculine soul, . how a feminine principle is produced from a male soul, . how a union of the souls of married partners is effected, . see _mind, obs_. space.--those things which, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual, are not in space, but in the appearances of space, . the soul of man being celestial, and his mind spiritual, are not in space, . spaniards, , . species.--why the creator has distinguished all things into genera, species, and discriminations, . speech, the, of wisdom is to speak from causes, . from the thought, which also is spiritual, speech flows, . sphere.--all that which flows from a subject, and encompasses and surrounds it, is named a sphere, . from the lord, by the spiritual sun, proceeds a sphere of heat and light, or of love and wisdom, to operate ends which are uses, . the universal sphere of generating and propagating the celestial things, which are of love; and the spiritual things, which are of wisdom, and thence the natural things, which are of offspring, proceeds from the lord, and fills the universal heaven and the universal world, . the divine sphere which looks to the preservation of the universe in its created state by successive generations, is called the sphere of procreating, . the divine sphere which looks to the preservation of generations in their beginnings, and afterwards in their progressions, is called the sphere of protecting the things created, . there are several other divine spheres, which are named according to uses, as the sphere of defence of good and truth against evil and false, the sphere of reformation and regeneration, the sphere of innocence and peace, the sphere of mercy and grace, &c., , . but the universal of all is the conjugial sphere, because this is the supereminent sphere of conservation of the created universe, . this sphere fills the universe, and pervades all things from first to last, ; thus from angels even to worms, . why it is more universal than the sphere of heat and light which proceed from the sun, . in its origin, the conjugial sphere, flowing into the universe, is divine; in its progress in heaven with the angels, it is celestial and spiritual; with men it is natural; with beasts and birds, animal; with worms merely corporeal; with vegetables, it is void of life; and, moreover, in all its subjects it is varied according to their forms, . this sphere is received immediately by the female sex, and mediately by the male, . the sphere of conjugial love is the very essential sphere of heaven, because it descends from the heavenly marriage of the lord and the church, . whereas there is a sphere of conjugial love, there is also a sphere opposite to it, which is called a sphere of adulterous love, . this sphere ascends from hell, and the sphere of conjugial love descends from heaven, , . these spheres meet each other in each world, but do not conjoin, , . between these two spheres there is equilibrium, and man is in it, , . man can turn himself to whichever sphere he pleases; but so far as he turns himself to the one, so far he turns himself from the other, , . a sphere of love from the wife, and of understanding from the man, is continually flowing forth, and unites them, . a natural sphere is continually flowing forth, not only from man, but also from beasts--yea, from trees, fruits, flowers, and also from metals, . there flows forth--yea, overflows from every man (_homo_)--a spiritual sphere, derived from the affections of his love, which encompasses him, and infuses itself into the natural sphere derived from the body, so that these two spheres are conjoined, . every one, both man and woman, is encompassed by his own sphere of life, densely on the breast, and less densely on the back, . spire.--with whom the mind is closed from beneath, and sometimes twisted as a spire into the adverse principle, . spirit, the.--there are two principles which, in the beginning, with every man who from natural is made spiritual, are at strife together, which are commonly called the spirit and the flesh, . the love of marriage is of the spirit, and the love of adultery is of the flesh, . see _flesh_. spirits.--see _mind, obs_. by novitiate spirits are meant men newly deceased, who are called spirits because they are then spiritual men, . who those are, who, after death, become corporeal spirits, . spiritual--the difference between what is spiritual and natural is like that between prior and posterior, which bear no determinate proportion to each other, . spiritual principles without natural, which are their constituent have no consistence, . spiritual principles considered in themselves have relation to love and wisdom, . the things relating to the church, which are called spiritual things, reside in the inmost principles with man, . by the spiritual is meant he who loves spiritual things, and thereby is wise from the lord, . a man (_homo_) without religion is not spiritual, but remains natural, . to become spiritual is to be elevated out of the natural principle, that is, out of the light and heat of the world into the light and heat of heaven, . man becomes spiritual in proportion as his rational principle begins to derive a soul from influx out of heaven, which is the case so far as it is affected and delighted with wisdom, . spiritually, to think, is to think abstractedly from space and time, . sports of wisdom in the, heavens, . literary sports, . conjugial love in its origin is the sport of wisdom and love, , . games and shows in the heavens, . the sixth sense in the female sex is called in the heavens the sport of wisdom with its love, and of love with its wisdom, *. spring.--in heaven the heat and light proceeding from the sun cause perpetual spring, . in heaven, with conjugial partners, there is spring in its perpetual conatus, . all who come into heaven return into their vernal youth, and into the powers appertaining to that age, . stables signify instructions, . stage entertainments. see _actors_. states.--the state of a man's life is his quality as to the understanding and the will, . the state of a man's life from infancy, even to the end of life, is continually changing, . the common states of a man's life are called infancy, childhood, youth, manhood, and old age, . no subsequent state of life is the same as a preceding one, . the last state is such as the successive order is, from which it is formed and exists, . what was the primeval state, which is called a state of integrity, . of the state of married partners after death, - . there are two states into which a man enters after death--an external and an internal state; he comes first into his external state, and afterwards into his internal, *. statue, the, which nebuchadnezzar saw in a dream represented the ages of gold, silver, copper, and iron, . stones signify natural truths, and precious stones spiritual truths, . store, abundant, , . storehouse.--the conjugial principle of one man with one wife is the storehouse of human life, . storge.--the love called _storge_ is the love of infants, . this love prevails equally with the evil and the good, and, in like manner, with tame and wild beasts; it is even in some cases stronger and more ardent with evil men, and also with wild beasts, . the innocence of infancy is the cause of the love called _storge_, . spiritual storge, . study, what was the, of the men who lived in the silver age, . study of sciences in the spiritual world, . stupidity of the age, . sublimation.--the purification of conjugial love may be compared to the purification of natural spirits, as effected by chemists, and called sublimation, . subject, every, receives influx according to its form, . all a man's affections and thoughts are in forms, and thence from forms, for forms are their subjects, . a subject without predicates is an entity which has no existence in reason, . see _substance_. subsistence is perpetual existence, . substance.--there is no substance without a form, an unformed substance not being any thing, . there is not any good or truth which is not in a substance as in its subject, . every idea of man's, however sublimated, is substantial, that is, affixed to substance, . material things derive their origin from things substantial, . in man, all the affections of love, and all the perceptions of wisdom, are rendered substantial, for substances are their subjects, . see _form_. substantial.--the difference between what is substantial and what is material is like the difference between what is prior and what is posterior, . spiritual things are substantial, . spirits and angels are in substantial and not in materials, . man after death is a substantial man, because this substantial man lay inwardly concealed in the natural or material man, . the substantial man sees the substantial man, as the material man sees the material man, . all things in the spiritual world are substantial and not material, whence it is that there are in their perfection in that world, all things which are in the natural world, and many things besides, . every idea of man's, however sublimated, is substantial, that is, attached to substances, . successive.--there is a successive order and a simultaneous order, and there is an influx of successive order into simultaneous order, . see _order_. summary of the lord's commandments, , . sun.--there is a sun of the spiritual world as there is a sun of the natural world, . the sun of the spiritual world proceeds immediately from the lord, who is in the midst of it, . that sun is pure love , , . it appears fiery before the angels, altogether as the sun of our world appears before men, . it does not set nor rise, but stands constantly between the zenith and the horizon, that is, at the elevation of degrees, . the spiritual sun is pure love, and the natural sun is pure fire, , . whatever proceeds from the spiritual sun partakes of life, since it is pure love; whatever proceeds from the natural sun partakes nothing of life, since it is pure fire, . the spiritual sun is in the centre of the universe, and its operation, being without space and time, is instant and present from first principles in last, . for what end the sun of the natural world was created, . the fire of the natural sun exists from no other source than from the fire of the spiritual sun, which is divine love, . suppers.--in heaven, as in the world, there are suppers, . survivor, .--see _deceased_. swammerdam, . swans, in the spiritual world, signify conjugial love in the lowest region of the mind, . swedenborg.--he protests in truth that the memorable relations annexed to the chapters in this work are not fictions, but were truly done and seen; not seen in any state of the mind asleep, but in a state of full wakefulness, . that it had pleased the lord to manifest himself unto him, and send him to teach the things relating to the new church, . that the interiors of his mind and spirit were opened by the lord, and that thence it was granted him to be in the spiritual world with angels, and at the same time in the natural world with men, , , . state of anxiety into which he fell when once he thought of the essence and omnipresence of god from eternity, that is, of god before the creation of the world, . the angels, as well as himself, did not know the differences between spiritual and natural, because there had never before been an opportunity of comparing them together by any person's existing at the same time in both worlds; and without such comparison and reference those differences were not ascertainable, . on a certain time, as he was wandering through the streets of a great city inquiring for a lodging, he entered a house inhabited by married partners of a different religion; the angels instantly accosted him, and told him they could not on that account remain with him there, . he had observed for twenty-five years continually, from an influx perceptible and sensible, that it is impossible to think analytically concerning any form of government, civil law, moral virtue, or any spiritual truth, unless the divine principle flows in from the lord's wisdom through the spiritual world, . he declares, that having related a thousand particulars respecting departed spirits, he has never heard any one object, how can such be their lot when they are not yet risen from their sepulchres, the last judgment not being yet accomplished? . swedes, , . sweetness.--in heaven, the chaste love of the sex is called heavenly sweetness, . sympathies.--in the spiritual world sympathies are not only felt, but also appear in the face, the discourse, and gesture, . with some married partners in the natural world, there is antipathy in internals, combined with apparent sympathy in their externals, . sympathy derives its origin from the concordance of spiritual spheres, which emanate from subjects, . tabernacle.--in heaven, the most ancient people dwell in tabernacles, because, whilst in the world, they lived in tabernacles, . tabernacle of their worship exactly similar to the tabernacle of which the form was showed to moses on mount sinai, . tables of wood and stone on which were the writings of the most ancient people, . tablet with this inscription, "the covenant between jehovah and the heavens," . tartarus, .--shades of tartarus, . tartary.--the ante-mosaic word, at this day lost, is reserved only in great tartary, . taste, sense of.--the love of self-nourishment, grounded in the love of imbibing goods, is the sense of tasting, and the delights proper to it are the various kinds of delicate foods, . temperance is one of those moral virtues which have respect to life and enter into it, . temple, description of a, in heaven, . temple of wisdom, where the causes of the beauty of the female sex were discussed, . temporal.--idea of what is temporal in regard to marriages, effect that it produced on two married partners from heaven present with swedenborg, . theatres in the heavens, .--see _actors_. thing, every, created by the lord is representative, . think, to, spiritually is to think abstractedly from space and time, and to think naturally is to think in conjunction with space and time, . to think and conclude from an interior and prior principle is to think and conclude from ends and causes to effects, but to think and conclude from an exterior or posterior principle, is to think and conclude from effects to causes and ends, . the spiritual man thinks of things incomprehensible and ineffable to the natural man, . thought is the _existere_, or existence of a man's life, from the _esse_ or essence, which is love, . spiritual thoughts, compared with natural, are thoughts of thoughts, . spiritual thoughts are the beginnings and origins of natural thoughts, . spiritual thought so far exceeds natural thought as to be respectively ineffable, . thunder.--clapping of the air like thunder is a correspondence and consequent appearance of the conflict and collision of arguments amongst spirits, . tones, discordant, brought into harmony, . touch, to.--this sense is common to all the other senses, and hence borrows somewhat from them, . it is the sense proper to conjugial love, . the love of knowing objects, grounded on the love of circumspection and self-preservation, is the sense of touching, and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of titillation, . the innocence of parents and the innocence of children meet each other by the touch, especially of the hands, . see _sense_. trades.--in the spiritual world there are trades, . tranquillity is in conjugial love, and relates to the mind, . transcribed, to be.--whereas every man (_homo_) by birth inclined to love himself, it was provided from creation, to prevent man's perishing by self-love, and the conceit of his own intelligence, that that love of the man (_vir_) should be transcribed into the wife, , , , . transcription, the, of the good of one person into another is impossible, . tree, a, signifies man, . the tree of life signifies man living from god, or god living in man, . to eat of this tree signifies to receive eternal life, . the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, signifies the belief that life for man is not god, but self, . by eating thereof signifies damnation, . trinity, the divine, is in jesus christ, in whom dwells all the fulness of the godhead bodily, . truth.--what the understanding perceives and thinks is called truth, . truth is the form of good, , . there is the truth of good, and from this the good of truth, or truth grounded in good, and good grounded in that truth; and in these two principles is implanted from creation an inclination to join themselves together into one, . the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is male (or masculine), and the good of truth, or good grounded in truth, is female (or feminine), , . see _good and truth_. truth does not admit of reasonings, . truths pertain to the understanding, . two.--in every part of the body where there are not two, they are divided into two, . tziim.--in hell, the forms of birds, and under which the lascivious delights of adulterous love are presented to the view, are birds called tziim, . ulcers, . ultimate.--it is a universal law that things primary exist, subsist, and persist from things ultimate, . that the ultimate state is such as the successive order is, from which it is formed and exists, is a canon which, from its truth, must be acknowledged in the learned world, . ulysses, companions of, changed into hogs, . unchastity, difference between, and what is not chaste, . unchastity is entirely opposed to chastity, . there is a conjugial love which is not chaste, and yet is not unchastity, . the love opposite to conjugial love is essential unchastity, . if the renunciations of whoredoms be not made from a principle of religion, unchastity lies inwardly concealed like corrupt matter in a wound only outwardly healed, . unclean or filthy, every, principle of hell is from adulterers, . uncleanness, , . understanding, the.--man has understanding from heavenly light, . the understanding considered in itself is merely the ministering and serving principle of the will, . it is only the form of the will, . man is capable of elevating his intellect above his natural loves, . see _will and understanding_. union.--spiritual union of two married partners is the actual adjunction of the soul and mind of the one to the soul and mind of the other, . conjugial love is the union of souls, , , . union between two married partners in heaven is like that of the two tents in the breast, which are called the heart and the lungs, . unity, the, of souls between two married partners in heaven is seen in their faces; the life of the husband is in the wife, and the life of the wife is in the husband--they are two bodies but one soul, . universals.--whoever knows universals may afterwards comprehend particulars, because the latter are in the former as parts in a whole, . good and truth are the universals of creation, , . there are three universals of heaven and three universals of hell, . a universal principle exists from, and consists of singulars, . if we take away singulars, a universal is a mere name, and is like somewhat superficial, which has no contents within, . a universal truth is acknowledged by every intelligent man, . every universal truth is acknowledged as soon as it is heard, in consequence of the lord's influx and at the same time of the confirmation of heaven, . universe.--the universe, with all its created subjects, is from the divine love, by the divine wisdom, or what is the same thing, from the divine good, by the divine truth, . all things which proceed from the lord, or from the sun, which is from him, and in which he is, pervade the created universe, even to the last of all its principles, . all thing in the universe have relation to good and truth, . in every thing in the universe good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, . use is essential good, , . use is doing good from love by wisdom, . creation can only be from divine love by divine wisdom, in divine use, . all things in the universe are procreated and formed from use, in use, and for use, . all use is from the lord, and is effected by angels and men, as of themselves, . uses are the bonds of society; there are as many bonds as there are uses, and the number of uses is infinite, . there are spiritual uses, such as regard love towards god, and love towards our neighbor, . there are moral and civil uses, such as regard the love of the society and state to which a man belongs, and of his fellow-citizens among whom he lives, . there are natural uses, which regard the love of the world and its necessities, : and there are corporeal uses, such as regard the love of self-preservation with a view to superior uses, . the delight of the love of uses is a heavenly delight, which enters into succeeding delights in their order, and according to the order of succession exalts them and makes them eternal, . delights follow use, and are also communicated to man according to the love thereof, . the delight of being useful derives its essence from love, and its existence from wisdom, . this delight, originating in love and operating by wisdom, is the very soul and life of all heavenly joys, . those who are only in natural and corporeal uses are satans, loving only the world and themselves, for the sake of the world; and those who are only in corporeal uses are devils, because they live to themselves alone, and to others only for the sake of themselves, . happiness is derived to every angel from the use he performs in his function, . the public good requires that every individual, being a member of the common body, should be an instrument of use in the society to which he belongs, . to such as faithfully perform uses, the lord gives the love thereof, . so far as uses are done from the love thereof, so far that love increases, . the use of conjugial love is the most excellent of all uses, , . conjugial love is according to the love of growing wise, for the sake of uses from the lord, . how can any one know whether he performs uses from self-love, or from the love of uses? . every one who believes in the lord, and shuns evils as sins, performs uses from the lord; but every one who neither believes in the lord, nor shuns evils as sins, does uses from self, and for the sake of self, . all good uses in the heavens are splendid and refulgent, . blessed lot of those who are desirous to have dominion from the love of uses, . _obs._--use consists in fulfilling faithfully, sincerely, and carefully, the duties of our functions, _t.c.r._, . those things are called _uses_ which, proceeding from the lord, are by creation in order, _d.l. and w_., . uses of apparent love and friendship between married partners, for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, , and following, . utility of apparent love and apparent friendship between married partners, for the sake of preserving order in domestic affairs, , and following, . vapor.--from reason it may be seen that the soul of man after death is not a mere vapor, . variety.--there is a perpetual variety, and there is not any thing the same with another thing, . heaven consists of perpetual varieties, . distinction between varieties and diversities, . see _diversities_. vegetables.--wonders in the productions of vegetables, . vein.--there is a certain vein latent in the affection of the will of every angel which attracts his mind to the execution of some purpose, . vein of conjugial love, , , , , , , . ventricles of the brain, . vernal, the, principle exists only where warmth is equally united to light, . with men (_homines_) there is a perpetual influx of vernal warmth from the lord, it is otherwise with animals, . in heaven, where there is vernal warmth, there is love truly conjugial, . violation of spiritual marriage, - . violation of spiritual marriage is violation of the word, . violation of the word is adulteration of good, and falsification of truth, . this violation of the word corresponds to scortations and adulteries, . by whom, in the christian church, violation of the word is committed, . virginity.--fate of those who have vowed perpetual virginity, , , . virgins, , , , , , . the affection of truth is called a virgin, . the virgins (matt. xxv. ) signify the church, . quality of the state of virgins before and after marriage in heaven, . virgins of the fountain, , . the nine virgins, or muses, signify knowledge and science of every kind, . how a virgin is formed into a wife, . virtues, moral, and spiritual virtues, . various graces and virtues of moral life represented in theatres in heaven, . manly virtue, , . visible.--every one may confirm himself in favor of a divine principle or being, from what is visible in nature, - . vision, posterior, . vitiated states of mind and body which are legitimate causes of separation, , . wars, the, of jehovah. the name of the historical books of the ante-mosaic word, . water from the fountain, to drink, signifies to be instructed concerning truths, and by truths concerning goods, and thereby to grow wise, . weasels.--who they are who appear at a distance in the spiritual world like weasels, . whirlpools which are in the borders of the worlds, . white, the color, signifies intelligence, . white, what is, in heaven is truth, . whoredom, spiritual, is the falsification of truth, which acts in unity with that which is natural, because they cohere, . whoredoms in the spiritual sense of the word signify the connubial connection of what is evil and false, . they signify the falsification of truth, . whoredom is the destruction of society, . they are imputed to every one after death, not according to the deeds themselves, but according to the state of the minds in the deeds, . whoredoms in the spiritual sense signify the connection (_connubium_) of evil and false, . toleration of such evils in populous cities, . widow.--why the state of a widow is more grievous than that of a widower, . wife, a, is the love of a wise man's wisdom, . she represents the love of her husband's wisdom, . the wife signifies the good of truth, . in heaven, the wife is the love of her husband's wisdom, and the husband is the wisdom of her love, . the wife perceives, sees, and is sensible of the things which are in her husband, in herself, and thence as it were herself in him, . there is with wives a sixth sense, which is the sense of all the delights of the conjugial love of the husband, and this sense is in the palms of the hands, *. conjugial love resides with chaste wives, but still their love depends on the husband's, *. wives love the bonds of marriage if the men do, . wives seated on a bed of roses, . in a rosary, . acts which certain wives employ to subject their husbands to their own authority, . see _woman, married partners_. will, the, is the receptacle of love, for what a man loves that he wills, . will principle, considered in itself, is nothing but an affect and effect of some love, . whoever conjoins to himself the will of a man, conjoins to himself the whole man, . the will acts by the body, wherefore, if the will were to be taken away, action would be instantly at a stand, . will and understanding.--the will is the man himself, and the understanding is the man as grounded in the will, . the life of man essentially is his will, and formally is his understanding, . the will is the receptacle of good, and the understanding is the receptacle of truth, . love, charity, and affection, belong to the will, and perception and thought to the understanding, . all things which are done by a man are done from his will and understanding, and without these acting principles a man would not have either action or speech, otherwise than as a machine, . whoever conjoins to himself the will of another, conjoins also to himself his understanding, . the understanding is not so constant in its thoughts as the will is in its affections, . he that does not discriminate between will and understanding, cannot discriminate between evils and goods. . the will alone of itself acts nothing, but whatever it acts, it acts by the understanding, and the understanding alone of itself acts nothing, but whatever it acts, it acts from the will, . with every man the understanding is capable of being elevated according to knowledges, but the will only by a life according to the truths of the church, . the natural man can elevate his understanding into the light of heaven, and think and discourse spiritually, but if the will at the same time does not follow the understanding, he is still not elevated, for he does not remain in that elevation, but in a short time he lets himself down to his will, and there fixes his station, , . the will flows into the understanding, but not the understanding into the will, yet the understanding teaches what is good and evil, and consults with the will, that out of those two principles it may choose, and do what is agreeable to it, . the will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man with the will of the wife, . in adultery of the reason, the understanding acts from within, and the will from without, but in adultery of the will, the will acts from within, and the understanding from without, . wisdom is nothing but a form of love, . it is a principle of life, . wisdom, considered in its fulness, is a principle, at the same time, of knowledges, of reason, and of life, . what wisdom is as a principle of life, , . wisdom consists of truths, . the understanding is the receptacle of wisdom, . the abode of wisdom is in use, . wisdom cannot exist with a man but by means of the love of growing wise, . wisdom with men is twofold, rational and moral; their rational wisdom is of the understanding alone, and their moral wisdom is of the understanding and life together, , . rational wisdom regards the truths and goods which appear inwardly in man, not as its own, but as flowing in from the lord, . moral wisdom shuns evils and falses as leprosies, especially the evils of lasciviousness, which contaminate its conjugial love, . the things which relate to rational wisdom constitute man's understanding, and those which relate to moral wisdom constitute his will, . wisdom of wives, . the perception, which is the wisdom of the wife, is not communicable to the man, neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife, , . the moral wisdom of the man is not communicable to women, so far as it partakes of rational wisdom, . wisdom and conjugial love are inseparable companions, . the lord provides conjugial love for those who desire wisdom, and who consequently advance more and more into wisdom, . there is no end to wisdom, . temple of wisdom, . sports of wisdom, , *. see _love and wisdom_. wise.--a wise one is not a wise one without a woman, or without love, a wife being the love of a wise man's wisdom, . woman, the, was created and born to become the love of the understanding of a man, , . woman was created out of the man, hence she has an inclination to unite, and, as it were, reunite herself with the man, . conjugial love is implanted in every woman from creation, . woman is actually formed into a wife, according to the description in the book of creation, . in the universe nothing was created more perfect than a woman of a beautiful countenance and becoming manners, . the woman receives from the man the truth of the church, . woman, by a peculiar property with which she is gifted from her birth, draws back the internal affections into the inner recesses of her mind, . affection, application, manners, and form of woman, , . women were created by the lord affections of the wisdom of men, . they are created forms of the love of the understanding of men, . women have an interior perception of love, and men only an exterior, *. in assemblies where the conversation of the men turns on subjects proper to rational wisdom, women are silent, and listen only, the reason why, . intelligence of wisdom, . women cannot enter into the duties proper to men, . difference between females, women, and wives, . see _wife_. wonders conspicuous in eggs, . wood signifies natural good, . woods of palm-trees, and of rose-trees, . word, the ancient, at this day is lost, and is only reserved in great tartary, . the historical books of this word are called the wars of jehovah, and the prophetic books the enunciations, . word, the, with the most ancient, and with the ancient people, . word, the, is the lord, . in every thing of the word there is the marriage of good and truth, . the word is the medium of conjunction of the lord with man, and of man with the lord, . in its essence it is divine truth united to divine good, and divine good united to divine truth, . it is the perfect marriage of good and truth, . in every part of the word there is a spiritual sense corresponding to the natural sense, and by means of the former sense the men of the church have conjunction with the lord, and consociation with angels, . the sanctity of the word resides in this sense, - . while man reads the word, and collects truths out of it, the lord adjoins good, . workhouses, infernal, . see also , , . works are good or bad, according as they proceed from an upright will and thought, or from a depraved will and thought, whatever may be their appearance in externals, . good works are uses, . world of spirits, the, is intermediate between heaven and hell, and there the good are prepared for heaven, and the wicked for hell, *, , , . it is in the world of spirits that all men are first collected after their departure out of the natural world, , . the good are there prepared for heaven, and the wicked for hell; and after such preparation, they discover ways open for them to societies of their like, with whom they are to live eternally, , . world, the natural, subsists from its sun, which is pure fire, . there is not anything in the natural world which is not also in the spiritual world, , . in the natural world, almost all are capable of being joined together as to external affections, but not as to internal affections, if these disagree and appear, . world, the spiritual, subsists from its sun, which is pure love, as the natural world subsists from its sun, . in the spiritual world there are not spaces, but appearances of spaces, and these appearances are according to the states of life of the inhabitants, . all things there appear according to correspondences, . all who, from the beginning of creation have departed by death out of the natural world, are in the spiritual world, and as to their loves, resemble what they were when alive in the natural world, and continue such to eternity, . in the spiritual world there are all such things there as there are on earth, and those things in the heavens are infinitely more perfect, . _obs._--the spiritual world in general comprehends heaven, the world of spirits, and hell. worms.--wonders concerning them, . silk-worms, . worship, the, of god in heaven returns at stated periods, and lasts about two hours, . wrath.--if love, especially the ruling love, be touched, there ensues an emotion of the mind (_animus_); if the touch hurts, there ensues wrath, . writers.--the most ancient writers, whose works remain to us, do not go back beyond the iron age, . see _writings_. writings, the, of the most ancient and of the ancient people are not extant: the writings which exist are those of authors who lived after the ages of gold, silver, and iron, . writings of some learned authoresses, examined in the spiritual world in the presence of those authoresses, . the writings, which proceed from ingenuity and wit, on account of the elegance and neatness of the style in which they are written, have the appearance of sublimity and erudition, but only in the eyes of those who call all ingenuity by the name of wisdom, . writing in the heavens, , . xenophon, *. youth.--in heaven, all are in the flower of youth, and continue therein to eternity, . all who come into heaven return into their vernal youth, and into the powers appertaining to that age, and thus continue to eternity, . infants in heaven do not grow up beyond their first age, and there they stop, and remain therein to eternity, , ; and that when they attain the stature which is common to youths of eighteen years old in the world, and to virgins of fifteen, . youth.--in heaven they remain forever in state of youth, . see _age_. youth, a.--the state of marriage of a youth with a widow, . how a youth formed into a husband, . youthful.--with men, the youthful principle is changed into that of a husband, . zeal is of love, . zeal is a spiritual burning or flame, . zeal is not the highest degree of love, but it is burning love, . the quality of a man's zeal is according to the quality of his love, . there are the zeal of a good love and the zeal of an evil love, . these two zeals are alike in externals, but altogether unlike in internals, . the zeal of a good love in its internals contains a hidden store of love and friendship; but the zeal of an evil love in its internals contains a hidden store of hatred and revenge, . the zeal of conjugial love is called jealousy, . wives are, as it were, burning zeals for the preservation of friendship and conjugial confidence, *. zealous (_zelotes_).--why jehovah in the word is called zealous, . generously made available by the internet archive/american libraries.) an outline of sexual morality an outline of sexual morality kenneth ingram _the introduction_ by f. w. w. griffin, m.a., m.d., m.r.c.s., l.r.c.p. jonathan cape eleven gower street, london _first published all rights reserved_ author's note i am anxious to take this opportunity of thanking those friends who have helped me by valuable suggestion and criticism in correcting the proofs of this small book. in particular i desire to mention canon lacey and dr. griffin, and to apologize for the amount of time which i must have stolen from them. kenneth ingram _march _ introduction any honest inquiry into the primal instincts of humanity will necessarily lead to a clearer understanding of their nature, their functions, and their potentialities, and so will help to pave the way for the appearance of a healthier and happier race of men. the dictum "learn to know yourself," inscribed on the temple of apollo at delphi, has never been of more vital importance, both individually and nationally, than it is to-day, and the various schools of modern psychological thought, which are steadily opening up those hitherto scarcely explored regions whence flow the springs of human actions, are gradually clearing away the ignorance which has been the real cause of so much disease and distress. the following chapters are to be welcomed particularly as an effort at the constructional reform of our treatment of one of our deepest and most powerful instincts. even those who do not necessarily give assent to all the details in the line of argument therein pursued must surely approve the insistence upon the vital necessity of there being love in all sex relationships. the word "sexual," though indispensable perhaps in such a book as this, invariably induces some measure of opposition by reason of the associations which it calls up, and so is often replaced by the cognate adjective "racial," which emphasizes the wider aims of race preservation rather than the narrower matter of the reproduction of individuals. it is not a matter of curing individual immorality, not even of explaining it only, it is the greater matter of laying a sound foundation for a practicable social morality that is the object of consideration here. it is important that any such opposition should be neither hypocritical nor hyper-critical, for great national issues are at stake. without the healthy mind there can be no healthy body, at any rate from the point of view of the community, and thus such a scientific inquiry as is set forth in these pages is definitely leading towards the production of a healthier nation. the necessity of there being established a balance between an unlimited self-expression and a rigid self-repression is clearly indicated also, and the importance of self-control is not ignored here as it has been elsewhere, unfortunately, both as regards the individual's physical health and the weal of the community at large; for self-control is a vital essential in the health of a man just as it is a vital necessity for the continuance of a nation. the following pages contain information and suggestions which should tend to the formation of a wiser and more hopeful outlook over the problems of sexual morality, and should therefore receive the careful consideration of all who have the interests of humanity at heart. f. w. w. griffin m.a., m.d., m.r.c.s., l.r.c.p. _march _ contents chapter page . apologia . official attitudes towards sex . the general principles of purity . celibacy . non-celibacy . divorce . eugenics and prostitution . the homosexual temperament . the sexless class . super-abnormalities . sex education an outline of sexual morality chapter : apologia i have been impelled to attempt this definition of sexual morality for at least three reasons. the first is that, at this moment particularly, science is emphasizing the large responsibility which sex assumes in our lives. we may think that freud has overestimated this influence; nevertheless, all psycho-analysis tends to show that the sex-force cannot be wholly repressed and that even with the most passionless individuals sex is the unconscious motive in a large percentage of their activities. it is well therefore that we should have as clear a conception as possible as to the moral rights of this enormous factor in our lives. secondly, a handbook of this kind is perhaps the most convenient medium for defining my personal attitude towards this problem. my own views are, of course, unimportant, but it so happens that i have often been asked, in private conversations, to define them. now to summarize them to the extent which a casual conversation must almost necessarily entail, is difficult; and often, i suspect, i may have given a wholly wrong impression. i am anxious to set that right. but my chief reason is the chaos of public opinion on this question. one is continually having this fact forced on one. largely this is the result of transition and reaction. in england, the country to which i shall almost entirely confine myself, we have been enormously affected by that presentation of religion which has been called puritanism. we have been steeped in the theology of milton. all forms of religion--catholic as well as protestant--have been comparatively infected. when we speak of the "religious attitude" towards any question, we find ourselves irresistibly considering the puritan attitude. it is not, i think, unfair to define the influence of puritanism as a tendency to regard all amusement with disfavour. the original puritans were notoriously dour in their manner and their dress. it has been said that they attacked the sport of bear-baiting, because it gave pleasure to the onlookers, and not because it was painful to the bears. sunday, on which the outward observance of religion was necessarily concentrated, became a day of complete abstention from worldly recreation. puritanism might supply spiritual compensation, but anything which gave pleasure to the senses was essentially evil. thus art and beauty were banished from religious services and sacred buildings. not only was the stage an entrance to hell, but a consistent puritan like bunyan prayed god to forgive him the sin of having played a game of hockey. puritanism had reached its zenith, not of intensity but of universality, by the latter half of the last century. those of us who are old enough to have been victorians were brought up on comparative doses of the puritan medicine. especially among the middle-classes the history of every english family from the eighties till the war is extraordinarily similar; it consists of a series of emancipations. our grandparents were almost entirely puritan in their manner of living, our parents had compromised and extricated themselves to some degree, and our children have become almost wholly free. how many of us realize that up to the seventies it was quite improper for a lady to ride on the top of an omnibus? in no instance was the effect of puritanism stronger than on sex. for sex is pre-eminently inspired by a desire for pleasure, whether it be spiritual, emotional, or carnal. on this score alone it would have been marked out as a deadly evil. but there was a further indictment in the puritan creed. according to the miltonian interpretation paradise had been lost on account of the sex impulse; "original sin" was nothing more or less than the sense of sex--the loss of sexual ignorance. accordingly the whole sex-nature was regarded as evil, and sex generally became a taboo, a closed subject to which no reference could be made. victorian puritanism often, indeed, suggests the ostrich burying his head in the sand--the attempt to remedy evil by pretending that it does not exist. the effect of puritanism on the victorian was precisely this conformity of outward behaviour. it assumed that all men and women were innocent, and that, except in marriage, sex played no part in life. it pretended they were innocent, and it made them only respectable. parents would often refrain, on the plea that innocence must not be disturbed, from teaching their children anything about sex. so impure and evil a subject must not be referred to. such unpleasant problems as venereal disease must be hidden out of sight, although prostitution and venereal disease continue to flourish. the victorian, in fact, carried out the puritan doctrine that all sex is evil, by outwardly pretending that, unless married, he possessed no sexual instinct. actually he was no more inclined to abstention than any other human generation has been. indeed, we do not find any evidence that puritanism succeeds in carrying its anti-sex theories into practice. in south wales, for example, where puritanism has established a particular stronghold, sexual laxity is peculiarly marked. the reaction from puritanism, especially in regard to sex, has been precipitated and exaggerated by the great war. we have therefore in modern society two opposing policies. among those who have thrown over all "religious" observance and have freed themselves entirely from puritanism, there seems to be a complete absence of any moral sex-standard. we can appreciate that impasse if we consider the inability of the sex-novel or play to suggest any form of conduct which is immoral. those who still adhere to organized religion continue to look at sex largely through puritan spectacles. the "fallen woman" or the convicted clergyman is genuinely regarded as being guilty of the most damning of all offences. the sexual laxity of the neo-georgian is used as a convincing argument that once the puritan view is abandoned, complete anarchy is the only alternative. religious teachers continue to preach what many of them would deny to be puritan doctrine, but what i hope to prove belongs peculiarly to that aspect of christianity. and meanwhile the "non-religious world" pronounces the opposite extreme. it is because i believe both these attitudes to contain error, that i am anxious to contribute the foundation for some principle in the current deadlock. chapter : official attitudes towards sex it will now be convenient to define the chief collective or official attitudes towards sex. in a mere outline such as this handbook professes to be, we may divide these attitudes into three, and label them the popular attitude, the legal or state attitude, and the religious attitude. with the popular attitude we have already largely dealt. it is still in a transitory, confused state, merging at one end into the old puritan extreme, and at the other to mere negativism, mere opposition to puritan asceticism, and without even an attempt to reconstruct a moral standard. this perhaps is an inevitable stage in any transition; but it is none the less unsatisfactory. man cannot succeed without a standard; and moreover we know intuitively that all things are not morally permissible. if there is purity and beauty and divinity in life, there must be impurity and sin. will it be considered an exaggeration if i say that it is almost better to have a puritan standard than none at all? the roundhead at least was more than a match for the cavalier because he had a positive inspiration. but there is one common feature in this chaos of evolving popular opinion. the vulgar mind tends to measure morality by what is usual. the sins which most men commit are regarded as hardly evil; the acts which may not be evil, are regarded as sins if they are peculiar. thus an occasional lapse from continency on the part of a young man is popularly regarded as not very reprehensible, whereas the perpetrator of some weird act of bestiality would be hounded to prison. the flaw in this estimate is not only that the normal standard varies in race and age, but that there is no single human sex nature; there are infinite varieties. to condemn variety _per se_ is, as we shall presently observe, a contradiction of the laws of nature. the gradual emancipation of society from the taboo on sex in conversation is an undoubted gain. we owe such men as bernard shaw a debt of gratitude for the way in which they have forced sex reference into the play, and therefore on public notice. but if this is to result in eliminating sex modesty it is creating evils greater than those which it seeks to remove. i will not here embark upon a consideration of such a theory as that which has been interestingly propounded by mr. westermarck, namely that there is a relationship between sexual modesty and the feeling against incest.[ ] i will only insist that modesty is natural in all qualities which we regard as sacred. if we are modest about sex in our conversation to the extent of placing a taboo on sex, and allowing sexual problems to remain unsolved, or in letting our children confuse innocence with ignorance, we are on indefensible ground; indefensible, i think, because our modesty is based on the puritan doctrine that sex is at heart an unclean thing. i wish especially to defend modesty because sex is so clean. we do not want to vulgarize by public reference our most spiritual experiences, our sense of love, our feeling of exaltation in the presence of what is beautiful and divine. we speak of these things only at more sacred moments, if at all. we must be careful, too, lest in a reaction from taboo we allow science to rob sex of its romantic and divine character. we have carefully to preserve the centre of gravitation between two extremes. we should look askance at a man who collected in a glass bottle, and analysed, his mother's tears. in this connexion it may be well to call attention to the inconsistency of the male in making the sex-act a subject for humour. whatever our religious belief, we know that the sex-act is the means of procreation, and is, for this reason alone, a sacred function. it seems inconsistent, therefore, that we should so persistently treat it as a mark for ridicule. * * * * * the second general attitude is that of the state, or legislature. here we find ourselves in the presence of a consistent motive. the state is concerned only with the preservation of the birth-rate; any sex behaviour which defeats this object it regards as immoral and punishable. the state cannot interfere so far with individual privacy as to punish masturbation or artificial means of restraint; but it does go to the extent of punishing "unnatural" acts between husband and wife,[ ] and in america, the state has even penalized the activities of the neo-malthusian propaganda. all sex abnormalities are rigidly punished, whereas the procreation of children outside wedlock is not a legal offence.[ ] this is a consistent attitude, but it suggests one serious flaw. whatever may have been the case in early days when an increase of population was essential, there can be little doubt that to-day that necessity has diminished. indeed, without entering into the malthusian controversy, it is almost impossible to deny that at the moment we are suffering largely from over-population. consequently, whatever opportunist policy may dictate, we cannot poise our estimate of morality on so shifting a basis as the needs of population. instinctively we cannot associate morality in anything with the legal attitude. there are many acts even outside the sex sphere which most of us would consider immoral, but which are unpunished by law, and others which are illegal but are not immoral; it is immoral to lie, but unless we lie on oath there is no state offence; it is punishable to ride a bicycle without lights after dark, but we are conscious of no moral delinquency in so doing. * * * * * the third attitude is that of religion. we have already discussed the puritan attitude and the manner in which it has permeated our unconscious religious thought. in the anglican marriage-service there appears at first sight to be some endorsement of the theory that the sex-act is unclean and is only permitted in marriage as a concession to human weakness.[ ] this doctrine owes its derivation to st. paul, although it is important to notice that st. paul specially emphasizes that he is not speaking ex-cathedra: "i say therefore to the unmarried and widows it is good for them to remain even as i. but if they cannot contain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn."[ ] these words will probably be used as an argument against the statement that it is a specifically puritan doctrine to regard the sex-act as unclean. it will be urged that the early christian church, as shown by the writings of the fathers, discouraged marriage and upheld celibacy as the ideal. i hope, in a moment, to differentiate between the catholic and the puritan doctrine. but more immediately we will consider what i have broadly defined as the puritan attitude. the flaw in the argument that the sex-act is by nature unclean and must be suppressed, even though in marriage it may be legitimized, is that it is the ordained means of procreation. further than this, we have the inevitable fact to face that the sex-instinct in normal persons is so strong that it can only with great difficulty be suppressed, and then results in an outflow of sex activity in what we usually know as non-sexual channels. often this suppression will find its vent in mental dislocation and general nervous irritability. but without analysing these complex symptoms, it is sufficient to ask those who admit the control of god, why god created the sex impulse in order that it should be obliterated. directly we move away from this strict doctrine to the modified popular expression of it, we find that the position is becoming more intelligible but less logical. it is consistent to regard all sex as evil. but when the average christian, while denouncing adultery as a sin, insists on copulation in marriage as its consummation, a difficulty arises which must not be ignored. here, in adultery, is a sin which is so serious in the eyes of christian men, that it can never be redeemed; the stigma of impurity remains for ever on the offender. yet this same act, if only committed under the regulation of marriage becomes not merely something permissible, but the essential act of consummation, the divine method of procreation. one can understand how an act, good in itself, can become a sin because it is performed under impermissible circumstances. but it is difficult to conceive of an act changing its integral nature, so that at one moment it is a necessary virtue, and at another the basest vice. it is, for instance, legal for a soldier to kill an enemy in battle, while it is a crime for one civilian to kill another; but the act of killing is _per se_ an evil thing, even in the case of a soldier. it never becomes so exalted as is the sex-act in marriage. the catholic doctrine, however, while at first sight it appears to be identical with the puritan, is actually quite distinct. for one thing there is a difference of attitude towards sin. puritanism seems to suggest that those who have been "converted" are actually perfect. it insists that they shall keep up this outward appearance, and consequently ensures that their sins must be committed secretly. they are then sufficiently perfect to ascend, after death, direct to heaven. catholicism, however, is continually recognizing that man is normally a sinner; the confessional is a public recognition of this fact. catholicism therefore approaches the question of sex with the expectation that man will sin, that the probability of his fall is so great as to make it unnecessary and undesirable to hide all traces of his sin from public view. the puritan attitude towards sex is really that of the prude. the catholic church is so ready to talk about sex in a decent manner that she provides the confessional as a permanent institution. when we turn to the catholic attitude towards sex we are faced indeed with two significant dogmas which make up a position fundamentally distinct from that of puritanism. the first of these is the doctrine that marriage is a sacrament, and the second that the _esse_ of the marriage is the consent of the parties. the significance of the first is that marriage is not merely a licence whereby an unclean act is permitted as a sop to human weakness. the sex function, as the integral part of marriage, is acknowledged to be an actual objective of divine grace. the significance of the second doctrine is that wherever two people eligible to give consent, give it, there is the essence of marriage. few non-catholics realize that though the church normally requires the ecclesiastical and civil regulations to be observed, she does not profess to marry the two persons; she merely pronounces a blessing on their marriage. she may make conditions before she will give her blessing or even her witness to the validity of the marriage; but she recognizes that a marriage may be just as valid on a desert island as in a cathedral.[ ] and hence she really regards adultery, not as does the puritan, but as an act which should be sacramental but has been prostituted by the absence of the love-motive, or by becoming promiscuous rather than constant. sexual union may even itself be of the nature of a marriage, and it is significant that the church has always insisted on the right of parents subsequently to legitimize children born out of wedlock; it is the english law which has forbidden that privilege. this is the official catholic doctrine, however much it has been assimilated to the puritan conception by the personnel of the church. yet the church has consistently upheld the celibate life as the higher vocation. she has represented a celibate priesthood as a greater ideal than a married priesthood. she has exalted our lady as a virgin. she has insisted on the virgin birth. but she has done this, not because sex is evil, but because celibacy is better. and, as we shall see, religious celibacy is entirely distinct from a condition in which the sex impulse is merely repressed. chapter : the general principles of purity in attempting to define these principles i have no desire to enter into a controversy of relatives and absolutes. it is sufficient to meet those who deny that there can be any abstract standard of purity by pointing out that we know the direction in which to look for what is good and pure. just as we know that certain acts are less worthy than others, so we are aware of the general direction of the nobler activities. the first principle to be observed is that relatively _purity is comparative_. this is a commonplace of all personal estimates. however much we may adhere to the conception of a moral standard, which is abstract and unvarying, we realize that there are also personal standards which vary very much. we do not, for instance, consider a cat to be guilty of murder when she kills a bird; we do not execute her as we execute men who have taken human life. we do not even condemn lions or tigers as homicidal criminals, though we may kill them in self-defence, thus showing that it is not the distinction between taking animal and human life which constitutes the crime; it is the difference between the killers. nor is it true that we draw a distinction merely between animal and human responsibility, for even in the human kingdom we apply a comparative moral standard; we do not consider a savage who steals or kills as being guilty to the extent which a civilized european would be who performed a similar act. we are in fact constantly applying a comparative standard to the comparative intelligences of individuals, and quite rightly, for all intelligence and moral sense is graded from brute-beast to savage-man and upwards. we must be careful not to avoid this standard of comparative values in approaching sex morality. so long as we admit that at least there are acts and principles which, taken in the abstract, approach purity more nearly than others, we must not judge all individuals by the same standard. we must not consider a very ordinary, unintelligent, animal-blooded young man as being excessively sinful for having a vivid sex experience; perhaps he is living right up to the level of his imperfect standard. we must not expect people to be more moral than they can be, though it is the duty of church and religion to educate them to see that there are better standards. the second principle is simple, but of the deepest importance. it consists of the proposition that variety and not uniformity is the fundamental rule of nature, or, as christians would hold, the intention of god. i cannot recall any distinctive attribute to which this rule does not apply. there are an infinite species of creatures, and infinite tastes and tendencies. even if we narrow down our field of investigation to one nation or even a single family, we find that each individual is approaching life by different byways, with different prejudices and different temperaments and different conceptions. but throughout history the majority of the normal type has been inclined to flout this divine principle. the puritans, for example, were a particular type who did not like the gayer life of the world, and preferred a stern evangelical atmosphere. consequently they regarded those amusements for which they happened to possess no partiality, as evil, and whenever they had the opportunity they suppressed them; they eliminated christmas and the mince-pie. equally we can see that if the normal mechanical teutonic type had said that it was unnatural for men to be artistic and had suppressed the arts, it would have been a disaster for the world. there is not one vocation, but there are many vocations; all types are the design of intention, and are there, not to be suppressed, but to carry out their particular mission. this again, is equally true of sex, and we must apply the same conclusions towards the many types which we shall presently meet, abnormal as well as normal. the protestant, for example, really acknowledges a uniform sex-nature only. you will continually hear a protestant declaring that it is unnatural for a man to be a celibate: this is, of course, pure nonsense. it might be unnatural for a normal sex-nature to remain celibate, just as it would be unnatural for a natural celibate to marry. the catholic church has been far wiser. she can offer the religious life to the celibate and the sacrament of marriage to the non-celibate. there are few types of individual more unintelligent than that which, while it cannot so interfere with personal liberty as to compel marriage, persists in uttering the convention that "every man ought to do his duty to the state." the truism is true; what is wrong is the failure to conceive that there is no uniform duty for every man. but the third principle is more complex in character, or, rather, in the considerations which it involves. it consists, really, of a re-affirmation as to the catholic condemnation of the heresy of manichæism. the puritan and the type he has evolved do radically regard the physical as evil. protestantism, until it became adulterated by the catholic movement, eliminated as far as possible, the physical medium in religious worship. not only doctrinally, but liturgically, in the abandonment of ritual and artistic atmosphere, it attempted to limit religion as far as possible to the spiritual level, and it regarded sacramentalism as evil because sacramentalism involves an outward physical sign. in the same way the average englishman, who has been inculcated, far more than he realizes, with calvinist dogma, regards sex as immoral only when it is physical. a man may indulge in sexual emotion and thought, but so long as he suppresses any physical act he is not guilty; if this can be regarded as an exaggeration it is certainly true that popular protestant theology regards a man as more immoral if he commits the physical sex-act than if he thinks of it. it is strange to note how far this theory has departed from the teaching of christ, who declared that "he that lusteth against a woman hath committed adultery against her in his heart." it is obvious the moment we examine this conception that it is utterly indefensible. if the sex-act is evil[ ] because it is physical, then it is equally evil to eat or drink. and if an attempt is made to avoid this difficulty by saying that it is evil to debase love by expressing it in a physical act, or that it is better to love spiritually and non-physically, then it is equally evil to debase artistic inspiration by expressing it with paints on a physical canvas, or better to allow melodies to float in one's mind than to reduce them to the level of a physical composition. without entering into a highly involved philosophy and therefore at the risk of apparent dogmatism, i wish now to emphasize that there are certain ascending levels, with which man is concerned. we may confine ourselves to the physical, the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual levels. the physical level is the lowest, in so far as man functions there in common with the animal. he is more active emotionally than the animal. but what distinguishes him chiefly from the animal, and makes him master over all brute-creation, is his activity on the mental level. physically he is less powerful than the elephant; but because he can function mentally and the elephant can do so hardly at all, he can employ the elephant as a beast of labour. here then we have a distinct gradation, a gradation which continues to apply within the human kingdom and makes us able to distinguish a civilised man from a savage. we should therefore apply this principle to sex. sex activity is more pure or impure according to the level on which it chiefly functions. a man who traffics with prostitutes is not immoral because he is functioning physically, but because he is functioning almost entirely on the physical level. purity is really sex emphasis on the highest levels. ideally the physically sex-act should therefore be a mere expression of spiritual, mental, emotional love; it should just happen. the moment one begins to lay the emphasis on the lower levels, the more one becomes correspondingly less pure. lust, in fact, is the desire only for physical sex experience--the wrong proportion and balance. a man's stage of moral development is to be discovered by the particular level on which he is most active. we must not avoid the consequence of this principle. we must be prepared to admit as relatively moral, behaviour which popular philosophy might regard as immoral. we must also be prepared to regard as immoral many marriages in which the physical is the chief incentive. the lowest stage of impurity would seem to be reached in cases, whether between man and harlot, or husband and wife, where the physical function is so emphasized that artificial physical aids are invoked in order to excite the physical passions and make them the cause instead of the result of sex emotion and thought. chapter : celibacy if once the third principle named in the preceding chapter is fully appreciated, we have already laid the foundation of our moral standard. we shall have seen that physical expression is the sacramental form of the invisible and super-physical motive, and that immorality is the shifting of emphasis from higher to lower levels. we shall be in possession of a test by which we may in almost all sex problems determine a comparative virtue or evil of any practice or conduct. now this involves the equally fundamental theory that sex is not entirely a physical activity. in the popular conception sex is always confused with physical sex expression. but this conception, i submit, is entirely inaccurate. even though freud may be justifiably criticised for straining the word "sex" to include many forces which do not directly tend to incite physical sex activity, he has successfully shown that sex is the motive behind emotions and conduct which would not popularly be termed sexual at all. a musician may, for example, be drawing on his sex-energy in composing or performing musical works; a humanitarian may be sexual in his diffused love of fellow-men and women. we cannot possibly draw a line and say that here sex begins and there it ends. we can only admit that it carries far beyond those particular physical manifestations which we popularly associate with sex. if we accept the principle of ascending levels of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual functions, we should expect to find that sex makes its appearance in more than one form. we know, that is to say, that there are, not one, but many emotions and thoughts which are directly sexual, and that there would seem to be every reason why sex, which manifests variety in its physical expression, should be equally various in the realm of the mind. further than this, we are able to advance the principle that when the emphasis is laid further away from the physical level, the functioning power on that level weakens. man, as we have already agreed, is a more developed animal than the elephant, because he is active in thought. but he pays the price for this by the inferiority of his physical strength. similarly, the less mentally equipped are frequently more physically powerful. like all other rules, there are of course exceptions. but there does seem to be a principle, and a principle that we should logically expect, that the more man functions on what we have described as super-physical levels, the less powerful his strength on the physical level becomes. again, we have seen that, morally, the physical level is the lowest. the highest human developments are those which the animal cannot reach. the ordinary physical instincts are not evil, they are simply less evolved. some of them, like the sense of maternity, are good. but we cannot doubt that man's superiority over the animal lies precisely in his ability to do what the animal cannot do, and that, therefore, the realm of mind is "higher" than the realm of action. when the catholic church therefore presents religious celibacy[ ] as being the higher vocation she is enunciating this very principle. she is not suggesting that non-celibacy is an evil state. we do not pretend that the profession of crossing-sweeper is evil because the profession of prime minister is a higher ambition; indeed, it would be probably disastrous to persuade a man who had a natural ability to be a crossing-sweeper to qualify as a prime minister. relatively, a man performs his moral duty in fulfilling his vocation, for whatever grade it may be designed. the true religious celibate is the extreme exception; no one should attempt such perfection who has not the actual call. the means by which we realize our true vocation is too individual a question to enter upon here. the whole fault of the puritanic conception of sex is to assume that complete repression should be attempted by all men, and that marriage is solely a concession to failure.[ ] almost the exact reverse is the truth. the celibate is a rare product. and moreover he is not one in whom sex is repressed; he is essentially a human being in whom the sex-force is sublimated into non-physical channels. this may take the form of extreme religious devotion, in wide humanitarianism, in a love of children or animals, in artistic creation or scientific research. it becomes true celibacy only when the individual instinct is so far diverted towards these energies that desire for physical sex functions becomes eliminated. nor is it true that such a man is barren; he is procreating, as really as the father, a mental or spiritual progeny. we cannot emphasize this distinction too strongly. for the vast majority of men the celibate life is not intended, and to some extent, though, as we shall see, not entirely, other rules apply. what indeed we have so carefully to distinguish is the transference of sex from the repression of sex. to transfer the sex-force is a healthy and natural energy, whereas to repress sex is an evil which must always tend to produce unfortunate results. chapter : non-celibacy we have now arrived at a point where we can emphasize a further distinction. we must, in fact, differentiate between those emotions and thoughts which are sexual in the sense that they naturally incite physical sex functions, and those which manifest themselves in non-sexual activities. it may be true that the energy which is exercised in the latter way is itself sexual; that does not matter for our immediate purpose. it is sufficient that the force is at work in a non-sexual channel. here then we have two entirely different processes. the first is the shifting of the emphasis of the sex-force from body to mind, so that the sex-force ceases to be concentrated in physical sex-acts and begins to be concerned rather with love emotion and sex-thought; the second is the transmutation of the sex-force to non-sexual channels. both of these processes are necessary in the life of the non-celibate. the latter process is what happens naturally in the case of the true religious celibate. his development and temperament are such that his sex-nature finds a complete expression, as we have already seen, in such directions as a general love of humanity, an intense spiritual devotion, the worship of art or nature. there is no repression, but a full exercise of the sex activities in a "non-sexual" direction. the vast majority of men, however, are not so developed, and are not intended to carry out such a life. yet, for them, too, this process must be to some extent adopted. it is largely a matter of common-sense. the animal exercises no restraint; whenever the sex-impulse arises, it is satisfied--so far, of course, as the opportunity is provided. but as we trace the conduct of the more developed species from savage to civilized man we are conscious of a new element of will-power. the influences which cause this power to come into operation may vary. religious obligations, considerations of business, social, or intellectual responsibilities, help to intervene. an intelligent man simply cannot afford to give vent to sex proclivities every time they arise; he has other interests which must of necessity at many times of the day have the first claim. imagine a man who sacrificed a business engagement for some sex gratification! often in the recent war a man, however strong his sexual emotions, would be forced to cast away all ideas of sex in order to dodge a shell; his mind for continuous periods would be so driven with anxieties and the stress of responsibility that sex would sink into insignificance. this is an extreme instance, but to a lesser degree it is what is happening to everyone who leads a normal life. the more developed the man, the wider his intellectual interests; and it is precisely in this capacity to exercise his will-power that he proves his superiority over the animal. this process of transmutation is the remedy which must be applied in cases where men find themselves the victims of sexual emotion out of all true proportion, whether in married or unmarried life. mere repression is useless; it is actually harmful. but the mind must be switched off to dig a thought-passage in other directions, in non-sexual interests. where there is undue sex obsession there is disease. and this mental transference is the chief cure. really, this transmutation is a diffusing of the sex-force into a wide general area. the man is no longer concentrating all his sex-energy in love for one particular person; he is beginning sexually to love all humanity. he is finding sexual expression in the "non-sexual" forms of art or nature. he is still in love--but in love with love, rather than with one separate personal fragment of the whole. but with the ordinary man, there must remain a balance of sexual inclination which cannot entirely be transmuted. here we encounter the first process, and our problem, particularly in non-married life, becomes acute. is it possible, and is it healthy, to deny the sex-instincts all satisfaction? different answers are given by religious advisers and by men of the world, while even in the ranks of the medical profession there is no consensus of opinion. i suggest that there is only one general principle which can be our guide. the natural tendency of all sexual thought and emotion is to find its outlet in physical expression of some kind. if a man indulges in sexual thought, it is almost impossible for him to avoid a physical result. he may have recourse to prostitution or he may commit solitary practices. the tendency of puritan morality is, as we have seen, to regard the physical act as the sin and to avoid the conclusion that the thought is evil; consequently the patient is urged at all cost to refrain from action. let it be stated, quite frankly, that this attitude is scientifically and morally indefensible. it is the thought rather than the act on which the responsibility should be weighed. i have no hesitation whatever in asserting that it is worse, medically and morally, for the individual to indulge in sexual thought and repress the consequent action, than to commit it. the mere absence of physical conduct is harmful and deplorable if the mind is a seething mass of sexual energy which is being denied all outlet. the first duty in such cases is, as we have seen, to apply the process of transmuting this sexual thought to non-sexual interests, so far as this can be done. the extent to which this is possible must vary in each individual nature. the comparative balance then remains. and here we must bring into play the moral principle to which i have already referred--namely that the morality of sex is determined by the extent to which love is the motive. sex inspired by love is moral; sex inspired by any other motive is not. the part which the physical sex-force should alone play is the sacramental expression of pure love; so employed it is a perfect and divine activity. when the love-motive is absent, or is not the dominant incentive, the sex-force becomes comparatively immoral and abused. this is a general principle which can be rigidly employed. and i do not want to escape from the consequences of this doctrine. it appears to me the one natural, fundamental principle upon which a moral standard can be based. therefore i am ready to accept the conclusion that there are many marriages which are highly immoral because the sex-act is not an expression of love, but either a mere mechanical duty or the result of a physical and emotional excitement, as distinct from love. on the other hand there are many sex adventures, inspired by love, which do not occur within the matrimonial state. this principle alone must guide us in any moral estimate we draw. let us apply this doctrine by taking the simple case of a man and woman who are accused of having committed adultery. we inquire first, whether mutual love was the true motive, whether in fact the act of adultery was an unpremeditated incident which occurred as naturally as the kiss which a child gives to its mother. we draw a clear moral line between the sort of assignation which has for its one object the gratification of physical sensations, or the even lower motive, so far as the prostitute is concerned, of substituting for love the earning of a few shillings. but suppose we are satisfied that the physical act was not the object but the result, and that there was love. we go on to ask how deep was the love, and if a deep love is alleged, we ask why the parties are not married. for it is doubtful whether normal love can be wholly spasmodic. it seems contrary to the very nature of love that a man should love one woman for an hour and then throw her over for someone else. the essence of love tends to completeness and permanence. but we will imagine that even these conditions are satisfied, and that financial difficulties or parental objections alone prevent the formal marriage. we have also discovered that the two people have loved each other for some time, and that there is not therefore simply a sudden fascination, but a love based on knowledge and matured by experience. we are then left with a technical and not a moral offence. in effect a marriage has taken place; there has been the consent which is the essence of the union. it is only when the catholic conception of the sacrament of matrimony is abandoned that we find ourselves regarding the ceremony in church or registry-office as the union, and that therefore a moral offence is committed in the sex-act where no such ceremony has taken place. it is true that the parties would be in honour bound to receive the blessing of the church. the union is irregular; but it is a true union. incidentally, i suggest that this theory may be the basis of the scriptural exception in st. matthew's gospel made as regards divorce where there has been "fornication," or a pre-marital sex-act--namely that by this act a natural marriage has been consummated, and that the subsequent marriage is therefore invalid. one might almost draw up a schedule of the tests which should be applied whenever we may happen to be forced to adjudicate as to the morality of any sex-behaviour. for already there have emerged certain definite test-principles. there is the consideration of the standard of the relative degree of intelligence to which the particular individual has developed, and of the fact that there are many types of sex-temperament. on the other hand we see that the direction of absolute morality to which our faces should be set, is the raising of the sex-force to super-physical levels, so that the physical side becomes a mere incident, or is even eliminated altogether. then we apply the rule that there must be an exercise of restraint and will-power, so that sex obsession is entirely avoided. the extent to which the mind can be diverted from sexual channels must depend on the stage of development which the individual has reached. lastly, we apply the test of how far love, so deep and pure that it is permanent rather than spasmodic, a monopoly rather than promiscuous, is the motive. modern society has gone, i contend, as much astray in drifting to the extreme of considering all things permissible, as has puritanism in regarding the sex-act outside marriage as in all circumstances a deadly evil. and i can only marvel that this latter attitude is taken up so often in the name of the christian religion, when its founder, while declaring that at the last day it would be "more tolerable for sodom and gomorrah than for the scribes and pharisees," also said to the woman taken in adultery, "neither do i condemn thee; go thy way, from henceforth sin no more." chapter : divorce in leaving the moorland of general principles for the fields of particular problems it will be convenient to group sex natures under three heads: ( ) the normal or hetero-sexual, ( ) the invert or homo-sexual, and ( ) the neuter or sexless. it is necessary only to add that it will not be possible to deal in more than the merest outline with any of these important questions. the most prominent of the problems concerned with the normal group is that of divorce. the problem arises because on the one hand there is a sense that marriage ought to be a permanent state, while on the other, there are many human exigences which go to break up particular marriages. separation, without permission to re-marry, is of course an admitted remedy. but the question then arises whether parties so separated will continue to live as celibates; and as it appears certain that the vast majority will not, we have to ask whether it is better to legalise the fresh unions which are formed, or to permit adultery. every modern state has wrestled with this problem, and for the most part ineffectually. where there is no divorce, as in england before ,[ ] or among the poorer classes who cannot afford divorce, irregular unions and prostitution undoubtedly flourish. where a compromise is introduced, the permanence of marriage, and therefore of the home, becomes correspondingly impaired, while there are left a number of unhappy cases for which divorce is not allowed.[ ] the english civil law is particularly unhappy in its compromise. it is based on the protestant interpretation of the passage in st. matthew already mentioned, namely that divorce is permissible where adultery has occurred, and it goes on to make it easier for the husband to sue for divorce when the wife has committed adultery than for the wife to do so in the reverse circumstances. hence it places a premium on adultery, and exaggerates its importance as regards other sins. it deliberately incites an unhappy wife to commit adultery in order to obtain relief--she can usually evade the vigilance of the king's proctor--and it singles out adultery as a worse sin than, let us say, cruelty or habitual drunkenness, for which divorce is not at present obtainable. in fact it is difficult to find any logical or moral defence for the english law as it stands. let us first see how far the popular critics of the catholic doctrine of indissoluble marriage are wrong. they regard marriage as simply a contract, from which it follows that divorce should be obtained by mutual consent, or even on the application of one of the parties. but this ignores, among other things, one vital natural law. marriage begets parenthood, and between the parents of the same child there is a definite and permanent relationship. no act of parliament can make men and women cease to be the parents of their own children. nor, even in childless marriages, is the sense of permanence an artificial convention which can be abolished by the decree of a court. the deeper the love, the more permanent must its nature tend to be. love is not a contract; it is a spiritual bond. it is impossible, i contend, to think of a normally healthy marriage without realizing that both the man and woman naturally enter into it with the assumption that it will be a permanent relationship. the possibility of a family, the break-up of the maiden life--even the furnishing of a home, is evidence of a strong probability in the minds of the parties that the step which is being taken is something more than a temporary contract. indeed, the marriage is only temporary if unhappiness arises. men and women marry because they want to enter into as permanent a relationship as possible; they enter into it because, as they say, they wish to "settle down." the natural desire of man is that marriage should be permanent. a reversion to free love would be more than the undoing of the evolution from animal to man. it would completely change the basis of human society. and in proportion as any divorce law encourages the conception of a temporary contract this dangerous instability of home-life is threatened. americans sometimes describe their own laws as approaching the "ideal." "the question will soon be," wrote a journalist describing the american "smart set," "who is to be your husband next year?"--or, "has your last season's wife re-married yet?" this is of course an exaggeration; but it is a warning as to logical developments. in fact, divorce tends to create itself. divorce is only applied for where the marriage is unhappy. a fair proportion of unhappy marriages arise because they have been hastily entered into; with due inquiry many of them could have been prevented. but the easier divorce is to obtain, the more incentive will be given to enter into these hasty marriages--the type of union which so often gives rise to divorce. on the other hand, whatever their cause, there are marriages in which all trace of love has disappeared, and it may fairly be argued that the union is dead. thus a husband may, in later years, become incurably insane or habitually drunk. there are many unions in which the one party has married in blind infatuation only to discover that the partner is so contemptible a creature as to destroy all vestige of love. such unions remain marriages in formality only; their pretended existence is a sacrilege, particularly if there are no children and the husband and wife are not therefore co-related as parents. for all such cases the catholic church permits divorce (_a mensa et thoro_)--or separation, as it is known in civil law, without permission to re-marry. the issue, therefore, becomes simply a question as to whether it is right to expect the parties so separated to remain celibate. in an outline such as this, i suppose that one can only attempt a summary reply to these questions. if, for a moment, we are to exclude the complications of a subsequent love-affair there appears to me to be no reason whatever why any man or woman should not remain celibate during the lifetime of the divorced partner. the _journalese_ theory that it is unnatural and unhealthy for people so to remain is simply untrue, so long as the celibacy takes the form of sublimation or transmutation and not repression. the complication of an intense love-romance however, is a serious proposition. ought two people in love to remain sexually apart simply because one of them is still married to, let us say, an incurable lunatic? in principle there seems to be every reason why they should; no actual physical or mental harm is done to them, provided they have a sufficiently developed will-power to transfer their sex-desire into other channels of activity. the sacrifice will be immense, but it is no more than any man has to make who refrains from marrying his beloved because he is too poor or is suffering from some disease which may affect his children. in this case the sacrifice is offered for the supremely important principle that only god, by the act of death, can undo the vinculum of the original marriage. but i am equally sure that most people under these or less intense circumstances will not remain celibate. therefore, to descend from theory to practice, i see no alternative but to draw a rigid line between civil and religious marriages. the state must make its own arrangements and go its own way. but there should always be a higher type of marriage where the catholic church has been invoked for her blessing. and for those who choose to ask for this sacrament, the union should be irrevocable, save by death. the parties will receive that sacrament knowing what a heavy responsibility they are assuming. and it is only right that the church should be far more particular in refusing to prostitute her sacramental grace on unions which ought not to be consummated. she ought, i conceive, rigidly to inquire into the desirability of the union, and not to give her blessing unless she is satisfied that both parties are giving their consent with as full a knowledge of the facts as is humanly possible. equally she should refuse her ministrations where she is unconvinced that love is the motive of the marriage. i see no reason why some form of sponsorship should not be demanded. and i think it may be argued that a consent without a knowledge of the facts is not a valid consent, and that such a union is null. i should welcome a careful extension of the decree of nullity, for that reason. chapter : eugenics and prostitution the doctrine that love is the only motive for sex--that physical expression is pure only so far as it is the sacramental accidence of love--leads to important conclusions. there is, for instance, a class of moralist who teach that the sex-act in marriage must only be for the purpose of procreation. it would follow from this that it is immoral for sex intimacies to occur between a man and his wife once she has passed a certain age. in the ideal marriage, so this school of thought affirms, copulation is strictly regulated and occurs only when the moment is favourable for generation. to this theory i cannot subscribe. it runs counter to the doctrine in which i believe. it changes the sex-act from an incident or a result to a means or a cause. it is really immoral because it lays emphasis on the physical. this cold-blooded calculation of the times when sex is to be thus physically expressed is the exact opposite of the principle by which love directs and the act merely occurs, with no purpose but to express love physically. this leads us to a consideration as to how far those practices between man and woman are moral in which procreation cannot result. it is interesting to note that the english law holds that "unnatural" acts between husband and wife are criminal. although it is true that prosecution cannot occur unless there is an absence of consent, for otherwise there would be no evidence--these acts are apparently regarded as _per se_ criminal in nature. and this indeed is a logical position, when we remember the standpoint which the state adopts towards all sex questions. to this class of conduct artificial preventatives are closely allied. a chaos of opinion rages over this subject, from the neo-malthusian who advocates the practice as a necessity, to the purist who talks of "child-murder." it seems clear that this latter designation is an unwarrantable exaggeration; to prevent the possibility of life coming into existence cannot by any strain of imagination be confused with destroying what is actually alive. on the other hand, the moral test which we are applying to all these problems hardly acquits the practice. it is difficult to think of preventatives without being conscious that premeditation of the physical act is being emphasized, and the ideal of a natural incident almost banished. to prepare for a thing is to insist on its importance. the minds of the two parties must almost necessarily be focussed--though not absolutely necessarily--on the physical sex-act. there is no doubt however that, apart from ideals, preventatives are a means of averting more serious evils. this is not the place to enter into a detailed consideration of eugenics. we can only face the blatant fact that thousands of degenerate parents continue each year to breed degenerate children. the moral aspect with which alone i am dealing, is that this is a crime against the community; however irresponsible or ignorant the perpetrators, they are helping to burden the state with an altogether undesirable progeny. now, whether they are allowed to marry or not, there is not the least likelihood that they will desist from sexual intercourse. therefore, it seems to me an obviously lesser evil to remove all excuse for procreation by placing within reach the artificial means of prevention. in this, just as in the divorce problem, we have to determine whether it is better to insist on an ideal, which we know the majority will not keep, or to legislate down to the majority. there is no doubt in my own mind that to legislate on an ideal is not only impracticable but dangerous. i may believe, for instance, that it would be a higher ideal to live on vegetables and fruit rather than to slaughter animals and drink their blood. but even so, i should vehemently oppose a law which attempted to impose vegetarianism. i believe, too, that every moral influence should be brought to bear against marriages where the physical or mental degeneracy[ ] of the parents renders the use of preventatives desirable. i wish to emphasize that the ideal towards which we should set our faces is that of fewer but healthier marriages. both church and state should, i feel, take pains to assure themselves that these undesirable elements are absent in all unions which they are respectively called upon to solemnize. and i emphasize this because i believe that we are suffering far too much from the popular fallacy and the smug puritanic doctrine that the cure for all sexual proclivities is for men and women to marry, and that once they marry all things are sexually permissible. it is not only irritating, but it is a fallacy, for men who are comfortably married to declare that there is "really no sex-problem." there is probably as much immorality within the married state as outside it; and far from it being the duty of every man to marry, there are many men whose duty it is not to do so. closely allied with eugenics is the problem of venereal disease, and out of this again, arises the problem of prostitution. how far is prostitution tolerable, so that a medical system of registration should be introduced into england? we have seen why prostitution is immoral; it is concerned with the physical side of sex, and with little else. but no thoughtful man could reasonably advocate the suppression of prostitution by law. the result of such a measure, at the present state of national development, would be deplorable, even if it were practicable. people do not become moral because they are frightened to do what they still want to do. it is always a confession of the weakness of religion or moral influences where you have to fall back on the police-force of the state for support. in moral questions, state prosecution seems only to be justifiable where the liberty of individuals, or the welfare of the community, is endangered. prostitution[ ] as an evil can only be treated by the slow process of moral education. of that i shall speak later. but it is worth while remembering in this connexion, that the feminist movement must have a beneficial effect, to some extent, on prostitution. largely, it is an economic problem. if a woman were able to earn a decent wage, it is inconceivable that she should wish to submit herself to every voluptuous patron who happens to come along. education and economic independence must tend largely to breed dissatisfaction with such a slavish occupation. it will not do so entirely, for a certain percentage of women are prostitutes because they hunger for promiscuous sex intercourse. that some serious attempt must be made, not merely to alleviate, but to prevent venereal disease, is evident to all who are aware how widespread it has become. and it may therefore be pointed out that it would not be impossible to prosecute the prostitute, suffering from these diseases, without introducing the vexed question of registration and official recognition of prostitution. all unmarried men and women below a certain age could be compelled to submit to periodical medical examination, and if any person was found to have solicited, after having been certified as infected, prosecution would lie. probably a storm of protest would be aroused against an alleged interference with individual privacy. but the danger of syphilis may necessitate such a law, and after all, no one is being asked to do more than that to which every soldier and sailor has to submit. we have seen that love, and therefore marriage, naturally contains the sense of permanence. there is also a sense of distaste towards incest, and of the apparently natural evils arising therefrom. no-one will deny that the state and the catholic church are scientifically justified in insisting upon some table of prohibited degrees. how far this distaste is essentially natural i do not know. i imagine that a sister who had been separated from her brother since birth, and who did not know that he was her brother, might fall in love with him. but the scientific dangers of such marriages would remain.[ ] the church of england some years ago found herself immersed in a storm of controversy over the deceased wife's sister act. to most men her attitude seemed pedantic and unworthy of serious attention. the english church is unfortunate: her apparently narrow ecclesiasticism was really the result of a liberal policy at the time of the reformation. during the middle ages the church had extended her prohibited degrees to such an extent that it must have been difficult to know whom one could marry without a dispensation.[ ] only a person more than four degrees removed from the other party was an eligible partner without dispensation, the degrees so being reckoned as to include even second cousins. the english church swept away these anomalies and concentrated on an irreducible minimum of prohibition up to three degrees (reckoned in direct ascending and descending generation from the common ancestor)--thus sacrificing all regulation against marriage between first cousins, who are four degrees removed. the real opposition to the ecclesiastical attitude was, however, that any affinity, as distinguished from consanguinity, should be a bar to marriage. the unhappy deceased wife's sister was merely a convenient representative. but this is a controversy which is not sufficiently imminent to engage us in these pages. chapter : the homosexual temperament we must now pass from the normal or hetero-sexual to the second-class of sex-temperament. this is the homosexual--that in which the individual's sex attraction is directed towards the same sex. and here it will be necessary to utter a note of warning. the sex instinct lies so deep in human nature that many men are incapable of regarding sex characteristics save through their own temperamental colour. normal men are frequently found, for instance, of such underdeveloped mental faculties that they start out with an immense sex prejudice against the homosexual. without being able to consider the question impartially they abhor this variety as an unspeakable evil. it is essential that we should place such critics outside the area of practical investigation. the homosexual tendency may be as evil as they imagine it to be, but we must only arrive at that conclusion as a result of impartial and incontestable reason. and any man who cannot undertake that inquiry is as valueless for our purpose as are his prejudicial opinions; he must simply go back to the nursery. let us therefore, as far as is individually possible, attempt to treat this question with an open mind. and accordingly we shall find it most convenient first to consider the various attitudes which have been taken up with regard to this difficult problem. the legal or state attitude we have already to some extent anticipated. the state looks with suspicious eyes on any influence which tends to sterilize the birth-rate. accordingly, in england, homosexuality is branded as a crime for which a heavy sentence can be pronounced. it is true that legally this sentence, under the criminal amendment act, can only be inflicted for the physical sex-act itself; but this includes any assault or any behaviour which may be construed as an attempt to lead up to the commission of the act. and, accordingly, any man is legally under suspicion if he is thought to be homosexual, even though no perpetration of the physical offence can be alleged against him. the hideous system of blackmail is thus encouraged by the law. once a man is understood to be subject to these proclivities, it is assumed that sooner or later he will commit the offence, and he is watched, if not by the over-busy police, by those idle persons who trade upon the legal attitude toward this problem. any conversation or literature on the subject is suppressed, so far as is possible, by the state, because the physical expression being a crime, all that may become an incentive to the crime is itself criminal. we have already mentioned the basic fallacy of the legal attitude. it does not follow that because a line of conduct may decrease the birth-rate, it is therefore wrong. celibacy, as we have seen, may be an actual virtue. but in this particular instance there is a still more serious error. the english law, by branding homosexuality as a crime, assumes that it is a deliberate perversion; for it would be obviously ridiculous to punish a man for doing what he could not help doing. even the law is not so illogical as to sentence a madman to penal servitude because he insists on being mad. no, the state regards the homosexual as one who has of his own choice assumed this form of sex temperament, in the same way as a man decides to rob or forge a signature. the legal attitude _must_ rest on this supposition, for otherwise its policy would be flagrantly unjust. and accordingly we find the law classifying this family of behaviour as "unnatural." now, if there is one fact which is clear from an investigation of the problem, it is that this supposition is as false as it is possible for any supposition to be. let it be granted that a certain number of homosexual offences are committed by persons who are sexually normal in temperament. there remains the whole body of homosexuals, of those, that is to say, in whom the homogenic attraction is as integral a part of their nature as the appreciation of music or the love of colour. abundant proof of this contention is to hand. there have been thousands of individuals in every age, including the present, who have never heard of homosexuality,[ ] have never met other homosexuals, or come into contact with anything approaching homosexual practice; and yet they have been homosexual all their lives. i have known persons who believed that no one else in the world shared their aspirations, and also have suffered tortures because of their supposed isolated abnormality. the state attitude simply ignores this factor, and accordingly reveals itself as unscientific. it is true that perhaps by such an agency as psycho-analysis reasons could be found in many of these cases why the individual had developed on inverted sex lines; home repressions, the system of early education, the age of the parents, these or other influences, may have produced a complex which has switched the sex-nature on to a particular path. but these reasons do not necessarily show the result to be artificial; it is our very nature indeed which these influences construct. it is impossible to trace an exact line between the inherent nature and the effect which outside influences have had upon it. we must, and we do in fact, regard the permanent and fundamental traits, however derived, as "natural." moreover psycho-analysis definitely indicates that there is a homosexual period through which all individuals inevitably pass. the state theory that the temperament is "unnatural" cannot therefore be supported on any grounds, except in the cases where it is deliberately assumed by normal persons. in most cases it is natural to the individual's nature, and not "unnatural," but "abnormal." once this simple scientific truth is grasped the legal attitude is seen to crumble in all directions. the case for criminal prosecution rests logically on the assumption that unless homosexual practices are rigidly suppressed they will spread. and since their increase would seriously diminish the birth-rate the state is necessarily anxious to avert this danger. but it is an odd perversion which imagines that sober respectable citizens are only restrained from indulging in homosexual vice by the threat of penal servitude! once the scientific truth is grasped and homosexuality is seen to be, except in a small number of cases, the natural temperament of a small minority, it will be realized that normal persons are not likely to wish to commit unnatural acts, whether there is or there is not a penal law; nor can any act of parliament prevent homosexuals from being homosexual. and in practice this theoretical conclusion is found to hold true. for in the countries, such as france, where the code napoléon does not cover these prosecutions, homosexuality is far less rife than in england, or in germany, where until the revolution the penal law was rigidly enforced. it is well that we should face these facts unreservedly, however strong may be our personal antipathy to the practices. * * * * * the second attitude may be described generally as that of society. public opinion must necessarily be too vague to admit of succinct definition. but generally its attitude towards this question may be defined as that of an ordinary man towards a freak; he has no sympathy with freaks and indeed dislikes them--but they are so very rare that he can afford to ignore them. the problem of the homosexual cannot however be avoided in this way, for the simple reason that the invert forms so comparatively large and permanent a part of the community. it is difficult to attempt an accurate estimate, partly because many homosexuals are so afraid of incurring the odium of public opinion that they successfully disguise their true nature and are unsuspected even by their most intimate friends. but there is a more fundamental difficulty. it appears to be undeniable that a large number of normal people possess to some extent a strain of the homosexual temperament. we have, in fact, as in almost all classifications, not a naturally dividing gulf but a gradually ascending scale. some individuals may have only per cent. inverted and per cent. hetero-sexual tendencies, while others are only per cent. normal. there are a large and increasing number of persons who are almost equally balanced on either side. these bisexuals often marry happily and at the same time enjoy homogenic experiences. when we remember that, according to psycho-analysis, everyone about the age of puberty passes through a homosexual stage, it is probably not an exaggeration to state that few people fail to preserve a stratum of this nature, however small the percentage and however deeply such tendencies may be buried in the unconsciousness. if however we decide to draw an arbitrary distinction and to define persons with less than per cent. inverted nature as normal, persons from to per cent. as bisexual, and the remainder as homosexual, we are left with a considerable number of the last variety. havelock ellis has reckoned the percentage of homosexuals among the professional middle classes in england as per cent. and among women as per cent.[ ] in any case the popular view that the proportion is so small as to be negligible is quite impossible, and is due to the fact that most men are so unobservant of psychological evidence that their opinion is of little serious value. however undesirable, then, this species of temperament may be, it cannot be described as unnatural in the sense of artificial or unusual. the third or current scientific attitude does seem at first to avoid these superstitions and to rest on a reasonable basis. this attitude may be described as that of regarding homosexuality as a disease, which should neither be punished nor ignored, but treated. the theory that we all pass through a homosexual period at a comparatively early stage, lends support to this conclusion. the hero-age of boys and girls, it is urged, is almost always directed towards the child's own sex. therefore it can fairly be argued that where the sex development has been restricted to these lines it denotes some strange dislocation which has prevented natural growth. the fact that in some cases this cause can actually be traced--such as a disappointment in an early love affair with the opposite sex, or to artificial circumstances which have made for celibacy--confirm many students of sex-science in this opinion. but as if nature deliberately intends to thwart all easily attained explanations, she sets out certain facts, in practice, which entirely invalidate the theory. it is true that many homosexuals, both men and women, portray in general mental efficiency that peculiar want of proportion in some direction which is the inevitable symptom of mental abnormality; the male may be obviously effeminate, or, male or female, eccentric or hysterical. but this is distinctly the exception. so far as my personal experience goes, the majority of homosexuals are indistinguishable from normal men, except by some psychic or intuitional sense, in physical or mental appearance; and i observe that this experience is shared by all those scientists who have written on the subject. the undeniable facts are that among this minority of the race a majority of men have, in all ages and races, held a pre-eminent and honourable position in society, revealing the brilliance of sanity rather than the abnormality of genius. the homosexual has succeeded not only as might have been expected in the arts. it is true that, in general, he possesses certain feminine attributes, such as a gentler and more emotional positivity than the normal. but he has excelled in such masculine paths as soldiering, statesmanship, and engineering. it is almost irritating, where one wishes to find support for the scientific explanation, to turn to history and discover that the homosexual section of the greeks were magnificent warriors as well as philosophers; that not only shakespeare, who wrote many of his sonnets to a boy, or michael angelo, but alexander the great, charles xii of sweden, frederick ii of prussia, and william iii of england, had their homosexual tendencies. indeed, were it permissible to do so, it would be possible to instance some of our most famous generals and politicians of modern times as possessing this unmistakable temperament. it is well then freely to admit that the scientific theory simply does not square with the full facts of the case. the fourth attitude is that of religion. the church's official position is mainly indistinguishable from that of the state, although the atmosphere of the church has tended largely to be congenial to this development. it is evident that christianity was influenced in its early days by the appalling condition of vice in roman society, and it is not to be wondered at that a severe legacy of prejudice has been inherited in the light of this indescribable experience. but this brings us conveniently to a point where we must admit a fallacy underlying almost all considerations of the homogenic sex nature. and unless we are able to dispose of the fallacy in our minds, further investigation is useless. the fallacy consists of the assumption that homosexuality means only the perpetration of the physical sex-act. in reality this is as untrue as to suppose that the normal man is necessarily a patron of prostitutes. such a confusion of thought is obviously ludicrous. but not less inaccurate is this prevailing idea regarding the homosexual. not only is the particular sex-act, popularly associated with this subject, an extremely rare occurence, even as among the physical sex-expressions of this temperament, but probably a vast majority of homosexuals are deliberately celibate. homosexuality is a romantic cult rather than a physical vice. nine-tenths of its energy is directed purely in the realm of ideals. the old misconception of sex as a rather disreputable physical function again dogs our steps. but sex is almost entirely emotional; sex-love, and especially homosexual love, is not lust. its desire is romantic and idealistic, and when physical incidents occur, they are usually the unintentional outlets of the purely emotional passion. the literature of homosexuality is almost entirely romantic, and small though it is forced to be, in quality and ideal its average must rank as extraordinarily noble. it is noticeable, indeed, that in a large proportion of the unpleasant cases which are tried in police-courts, the offenders are admittedly normal men who have deliberately perpetrated homosexual acts for various causes, such as a neurotic desire for novelty, or the desire to avoid disease. there are also the considerable class of perverted normals whose deviation from their natural path as the result of some such influence as heterosexual disappointment or repression, has been so emphasized as to render their perversion distinct from natural developments, and who refuse, or are unable, to deny themselves physical gratification. if we dissociate the true homosexual from this class, and concentrate our attention only on the "celibate" species of such attachments, it is evident that we are in the presence, not merely of something which is not criminal, but of an ideal which is sacred in character. pure love, especially so intense a love as the homogenic attachment, is not profane but divine. and though the church may be unable to recognize it by her sacramental benediction, because, unlike marriage, it cannot effect physical procreation, she possesses such biblical precedents as the story of david and jonathan--an episode which is obviously homosexual in the sense that it describes not a platonic companionship but a romantic passion. in the social sphere also, the place of this aspect of homosexuality is obvious. the homosexual must, and does in fact, exist in the most honoured offices of the community. indeed, it is no exaggeration to declare that few men can be successful in educational or philanthropic work unless they have some homogenic temperament in their nature. without this they may compel discipline but they are powerless to attract sympathetic co-operation. the testimony in favour of this assertion is overwhelming. but when we admit that sex tends to find a physical expression, and we come therefore face to face with the physical problem, the difficulty i admit to be considerable. and i can only re-emphasize that this feature is numerically and potentially the least important, but that there can be no religious countenance for any physical sex-act outside the sacrament of matrimony. * * * * * rape, and seduction without consent, are obviously evils calling for legal prosecution, as being an infringement of personal liberty. and in this connexion it must be remembered that homosexual practices tend to seduction, inasmuch as the attraction is frequently towards those who have not attained intellectual manhood. for the rest, i am inclined only to re-affirm the general principle which i have already attempted to define--namely, that sex becomes a sin where the main objective becomes the physical gratification. once the proportion is weighed on the side of physical expression, love is prostituted. the purity of true love is known by the fact that its face is turned not to mere physical functions, but beyond the emotional and even mental, to the spiritual ideal. indeed, a lover, whatever his temperament happens to be, loves even if his beloved is removed from all physical reach. that is the test. i do not look for salvation to the arms of mere criminal legislation. this seems to me to be almost powerless as a moral force, and indeed, to encourage the hideous apparatus of blackmail.[ ] gradual and unsensational as it may be, i believe that morals can only be improved by educational and religious influences. and so far as theoretical solutions are concerned i believe that mr. edward carpenter[ ] comes nearest to the truth. nature is deliberate in creating not uniformity but variety, and i doubt if the world would continue if there were only normal men in it. the homosexual has his place, within restrictions, as has the celibate or the sexless type. the real truth, i feel to be, is that few men are wholly masculine or women feminine, and that somewhere, in comparative degrees, homosexuality is in us all. it may become so excessive as to be a disease, or so feeble as to create that unæsthetic, bourgeoise type, which is an unpleasant symptom of super-normality. we enter the realm of pure conjecture if we attempt to inquire the purpose for which this type has been deliberately created. and i can only record my own entirely unproveable, but definite opinion, that the human race, in the far ages ahead, will return, by a spiral process, to the bisexual species from which i believe it has come. if this is so, the homosexual is apparently a prototype, a preliminary attempt of nature to combine both sex-natures in one individual. and with all his present imperfections, i believe that there are evidences which go strongly to support this conjecture. chapter : the sexless class there is little that need be written on this subject, not because it is devoid of interest, but because it raises no vital sex problem. the number of sexless people is small, though apparently increasing. it may be questioned whether there are any really sexless people--individuals, i.e. whose sex-nature is non-existent. probably in most of these cases sex, for some reason or other, is there, dormant but positive. but it is convenient so to classify those in whom, for some reason, the sex-force has never yet been stirred. it must be remembered that this class is quite distinct from the religious celibate. the celibate has all the sexual ardour for his religious or humanitarian devotion. the sexless man or woman is cold, intellectually aloof, and generally critical. there are only two considerations calling for remarks on this interesting psychological problem. the first is that we must not allow the great body of normal opinion to label such people as unnatural, and as having no part to play in the community. they have, on the contrary, an important rôle. their intellectual ability is in itself a great asset, particularly in abstract and critical directions. and in all sex questions they should, and frequently have, an impartial outlook, for the very reason that they can view sex from a detached standpoint. but, conversely--and this is the second consideration--they possess the immoral tendency of regarding sex with abhorrence, especially when they confuse sex with mere physical expression. in extreme cases the sexless individual has been known even to faint or exhibit symptoms of nausea at the chance touch of a woman. this is obviously to magnify the physical side out of all clean proportion. and probably such cases show themselves to be the result of artificial repression and consequent complex. it may be argued from this that all deviations from the normal are the results of repression. but, as we have seen, the difference between natural and unnatural is comparative, and most of our nature is built up, in the first instance, by early exterior influences. chapter : super-abnormalities under this head i have included a number of characteristics, which have no connective bearing upon one another. it seemed the most convenient classification. perhaps it will be best to take as the first example a sex tendency which can hardly be described as super-abnormal, for among single men, and especially among boys, it is extremely common. auto-eroticism in the form of self-abuse is not an easy problem to tackle. the usual policy adopted towards boys is most immoral. well-meaning but hopelessly vicious purists, write terrifying pamphlets or deliver lectures in which they declare that this practice will inevitably lead to lunacy, paralysis or even death. the result is that the boy is scared into an ineffectual attempt at repression, which, so far as it is successful, sets the sex-impulse at work into morose channels and makes him a liar or a thief. or he may be impelled to inquire for himself. he finds that, so long as self-abuse occurs infrequently, it does not bring about these dire evils, and accordingly he assumes that all moral doctrine is hypocrisy and often falls into the opposite extreme of constant self-abuse, with the result that actual physical and mental deterioration sets in. what is really the truth? the first consideration is that frequent and unregulated abuse does cause physical harm. the margin of frequency which will escape this harm varies with the individual. but, with growing boys, the practice is perhaps more dangerous than after physical maturity. the whole reserve of the physical constitution appears to be needed while the body is developing. the difficulty of this problem is its complications. there are several entirely conflicting influences which must be weighed one against the other. we have seen the physical danger, and, since morality must not be founded on a lie, we must freely admit that the physical danger may be eliminated by limiting the frequency of the practice. it may then be physically harmless. there remain, however, at least two causes which make for a misuse of the sex-force, that is--for immorality. the first is that it is usually the result of mental weakness, sheer inability to overcome the inclination. the mind, the will, _must_ be supreme in its own house. until that is done little else matters. and it comes, therefore, to this, so far as this particular consideration is concerned, that it is better for a man deliberately to regulate himself by programme to certain times, than to keep up an ineffectual struggle, or to obey whenever the inclination arises. for, in both these cases, remorse follows. and this is as great an evil as the failure of will; indeed, it _is_ failure of will. remorse is not penitence. it is useless thereby to regret what has been done. a man must simply own to himself that he has failed, make a resolution to be stronger next time, and then sweep the recollection from his mind, switching off on to other mental channels. the second influence which makes for impurity is that by this practice the sex-force becomes literally selfish. now, sex is fundamentally a movement towards union through love, whether it be physical or super-physical. this practice is merely a vicious circle, in which the love element, save in the perverted form of narcissism, is absent. accordingly, there must, almost always, be evil mental results from this abuse. and, once again, we see that the real evil is not in the physical act but in the realm of thought, whether the act occurs or not. on the other hand, we must not become such abstract moralists as to deny that in many individuals the sex-force is so strong as to press almost irresistibly towards physical expression. even dreams, which are the normal outlet, may not be sufficient. a man who for some reason, cannot marry, will therefore argue that his only alternative is recourse to prostitution, and that self-abuse, so long as it is regulated, is morally preferable. one remedy is, as we have already seen, the transfer of the sex-force to higher channels, so that all the glow and energy of sex is energized in devotion to a group of persons, or to a religious or humanitarian ideal in concrete labour. for sex is primarily creative, and if it is not creating physical children it may have, and should have, a spiritual progeny--as in art and literature. the truth is that each individual case must be treated according to its particular state of development. general rules in this instance are particularly dangerous. we can only repeat that the repression is worse than commission, that a seething mass of sexual thought is worse when it has no physical outlet; that the ideal, when there may be no legitimate outlet--and, indeed, to some extent, in all cases--is to find an emotional outlet, to dig thought and emotional channels along which the sex-force may flow, but the physical expression of which is, in the ordinary sense of the term, non-sexual.[ ] and this is quite possible. ii attraction towards young children is frequently, perhaps almost entirely, sexual. a symptom of this temperament is that romantic attachments are formed towards either sex, because, before puberty, the child is bisexual or sexless. this must essentially be a cult; it is a clean and noble cult, but the penalty of its high standard is that here all physical sex expression must be denied except in the lesser form of embrace. here, indeed, the prosecution of the law against sex-acts is justified. for, not only is the child incapable of giving valid consent, but the commission of the sex-act is physically and morally injurious. it is physically injurious beyond all doubt at a young age, and it is morally injurious, because it introduces sex to an age of development when the consciousness of sex should not have appeared above the horizon. the inevitable result is that if sex-acts take place the child eventually ages rapidly, as can be seen among the child-mothers of india. maturity is induced far before its time. the sex consciousness, as distinct from the unconsciousness, can be awakened in the earliest years of childhood. the young boy or girl often shows an extraordinarily intuitive perception that there is a sexual design behind even the apparently harmless overtures. and this is why this cult is particularly dangerous. the lover, in fact, must not only entirely eliminate the morally criminal sex inclinations, but he must take care not to become so sentimental and romantic as really to suggest sex to the child's unconsciousness. it is difficult to draw the line as to what is a lawful and what is an unlawful expression of this sex-temperament. one can only say that the remedy is not to concentrate love on one child, but on children generally. the child must not be treated as an adult; there must be no manifestations of jealousy, or insistence on a return of love expression. the embrace of children must be natural but not too ardent. in fact, the lover must diffuse his love and romp with children as a class rather than allow himself to appear emotional over one individual. many unthinking people will at once regard this temperament as impure when they have been convinced that scientifically it is sexual. but this is only because they cannot understand that sex is a clean thing and that the physical side of it is an occasional and by no means an inevitable incident. the cult of child-love is in fact one of the purest and noblest of sex-expressions. but it is a difficult path, and he who treads it must beware of many pitfalls. again, i quite deny that it is due to thwarted paternal instinct. i believe it to be as natural a variety as any other of the sex-temperaments. we have suffered too long from the superstition that sex is a uniformity of type. iii then there is that strange form of sex-expression known as bestiality. to most of us the connexion between man and beast in sex is so revolting that there is a great danger of our prejudice running away with us. i believe that prejudice against what seems to me so debased a vice, is justifiable. but i am equally sure that to punish such offences by criminal law has no shred of justification, except when the act is done in public so as to be openly indecent. no physical or moral harm can be done to the animal. and were it not tragic, the idea of sentencing the offenders to penal servitude would be itself a travesty. the practice, which is not so uncommon as many people imagine, is not so much immoral as unnatural. i mean that this can hardly ever be a variety of sex-temperament. although the love of women for pet dogs is probably a form of perverted sex-outlet, it seems impossible to discover here any actual love going out towards animals rather than to humans. therefore, the act is almost always due to a desire for mere physical expression, when this happens to have been chosen as the most convenient. the true remedy, therefore, can only be to take the individual and educate him. he must be shown that it is immoral for man to devolve back to the animal level. he is superior to the beast. he must be reminded that sex must be a result of love, and that sex-love between man and animal would only be possible if it were moral for man to cease to reason, to go down on all fours, and to eat and drink and live like an animal. even the most primitive man would not wish to do that. and if he feels any sense of abhorrence at such a proposal, then he must learn to extend his abhorrence to any attempt at a similar equality in sex. iv the strange and almost endless forms of sex-association need not be considered, since they have no moral problem of their own. the man whose sex-force is stirred into energy by the sight of some inanimate physical object is obviously the victim of a sex-repression. and such diseases must be treated as any other repressions should be. these general considerations must suffice here for all forms of sex perversions, such as sadism and its converse. and it is not difficult to distinguish between the unnaturalness of such practices and the natural character of the main sex-types which we have already mentioned. chapter xi: sex education it is becoming evident to all students of the sex-problem that the remedy for many of the difficulties arising therefrom is a wholesome and efficient sex-education. in many cases the parents are not the persons most fitted to give this education. they may not possess the art of imparting knowledge, and often there is a certain reticence between parent and child, which when present creates a bar to the proper handling of this question. the child goes to school to learn, and the school must take its share of this responsibility. where this is not done the effect is deplorable. in the preparatory school sex has hardly appeared. but in any school where there are older boys or girls, and where sex-education is not given, knowledge is rapidly obtained. officially sex is ignored until, on rare occasions, it is detected. severe punishment is then meted out, and perhaps the offender is even expelled, although the school is really penalizing the results of its own system. it is unnecessary to labour the apology that the absence of sex-education ensures innocence. in no school is this the case. if it were, with growing boys and girls, it would be unnatural. sex-instinct is bound to grow as the physical body grows, and to ignore this fact is to create the conception that sex-instinct is immoral. we then obtain the usual attitude adopted in public schools--that sex is to be indulged behind closed doors and sex literature sniggered at in dark corners. the boy grows up with a totally unclean view of sex. he becomes either an intolerable prude, or else he approaches sex-experience with an entirely twisted conception of sex-morality. one is continually meeting instances of this perverted imagination. not only boys, but men, will regard an outspoken book on sex, perhaps written with the purest of motives, as "hot stuff," something to be greedily devoured when the eye of respectable authority is conveniently removed. recently, a man was told that a certain clergyman was a member of a group of students studying sex-psychology. he expressed the opinion, with a knowing leer, that "some parsons are not such fools after all." these crude examples of the result of driving sex into a dark corner exactly represent what one is up against in school, and in the world, when one begins to deal with sex openly and cleanly as a natural and non-repressible instinct. really these people are a type of prude, much as they would resent this classification, for they persist in regarding sex as something which is rather naughty. they even imagine that to take away from it the cloak of unnaturalness with which they have surrounded it is to rob it of all its attraction. this is ridiculously untrue. sex is attractive because it is romantic, and, so long as one does not go to the opposite extreme of regarding it merely through the musty glasses of scientific classification, it becomes no less attractive when it is open and natural, and ceases to be the cause of giggling asides. before any moral sense in the sex-problem can be established there must be a fundamental cleaning of this cess-pool, this strange medley of official silence, unnatural repression, and unclean secretiveness. the main road to a moral sense is sex-education. and it is necessary, therefore, to conclude this outline of principles by suggesting some conditions which should govern such instruction. it is obvious that sex-education must be advanced on the process of a sliding scale. before puberty sex should not appear on the horizon of the child's consciousness. the precocious child must of course be specially dealt with, but usually the first lessons in sex should commence with the period of mental puberty. before that time the small child jokes only about the normal excretory functions, and this can be adjusted by emphasizing the unmanly and unnecessary character of such forms of humour. a child has usually an exaggerated impression of the value of the adult standard, an impression which it must be confessed is too often subject to subsequent disillusionment. while it remains, however, it can be used, and it can be pointed out that "grown-ups" do not consider the excretory system has any more claim to ridicule than the process of digestion or sleep. vulgarity and coarseness are not symptoms even of immoral sexuality. the problem commences, then, with puberty. and here a warning should be uttered against that school of reformers which tends to the view that sex can be regarded as naturally and as publicly as natural history or chemistry. this attitude ignores the fact that there is such a quality as sexual appetite. and consequently, sex education should be rather a matter for individuals than for public instruction. we have remarked that the parent may not infrequently be an unfortunate educator. but where these objections do not arise, the home is an admirable atmosphere for sensible teaching. the catholic church possesses the invaluable medium of the confessional, and where the confessor can give sound sex instruction no better opportunity can be imagined. there remains the school, but even here better work will be done in the study than the classroom. the immediate problem in the early post-puberty age is the tendency towards solitary practices. it must be recognized that this is usual with all children, and that there is no evidence to show that, save in extreme exceptions, physical harm results. all attempt at _alarmist prudism_ must be abandoned. sane instruction will tend rather to emphasize that sex abuse is due to a weakness of will-power, and that man is most manly, i.e. most removed from the animal, in the exercise of will-power. all education should contain that subject which is at present consistently ignored, namely, the art of thought-control. the child will be interested to follow certain simple rules of mental exercise, and where this is followed the liability to indulge in sex-acts diminishes. it is this element which must be emphasized, the fact, that is, that solitary practices are usually the result of an inability to exercise the will and control the mind. at a slightly later period, the public-school age, there emerges the tendency, in addition to onanism, for promiscuous practices, usually of a homogenic nature. a further stage of sex-education must now be opened out, namely the principle that physical sex expression must be the expression only of love. the problem now becomes necessarily more acute, but there is this element which tends to lessen the difficulties of the instructor's task. the individual is always interested about himself; he is naturally egotistical. the youth will gladly listen to what can be told him of his own nature. he must be shown the immense superiority of mind both over the emotional and physical natures. this may involve a slight dethronement of the public school appreciation of sport. so long as it is slight such a dethronement will be a reform in itself. the boy in his middle teens must be taught that man is greater in his mental than in his physical activity; he must be reminded that he is inferior to many animals on the physical level. the application of this doctrine to sex is that sex-expression for the purpose of physical curiosity or excitement is a denial of the monopoly of love, which belongs to the emotional and mental capacities. the young man and the girl, who has left school, will be ready to receive the whole standard of sex-morality as has been outlined in this manual. the chief trouble now becomes over-sentimentality, the tendency to develop emotionally at the expense of the mind. and it becomes, therefore, essential to remind the pupil that where there are continual passing and promiscuous sexual or love affairs, the mind is being shut out from its natural functions. to be attracted sexually towards any pretty girl, to develop sexual relations with different women from week to week, is simply a form of mental unbalance. the emotions are in the saddle. for directly the mind begins to operate there is introduced the element of permanency and constancy. the deepest and most real pleasures only begin in the realm of mentality. the man who hears music only to beat time or remember a catchy tune is shut out of the immense joy of the intellectual love of music. so the young man who lives in a fever of hot-house sexuality, of absorbing intrigues in the dance-room, or the morbid atmosphere of the street corner, is shut out of all the exquisite joys of love. he does not know this, any more than the irreligious man knows what he loses through an absence of the spiritual sense. but he must be told. the basic principle of sex values is that sex is immoral so far as the physical side outweighs in proportion the emotional and mental--so far indeed, as the act becomes the motive and not the incident. sex may be dedicated only to love; divorced from love, it is an abuse. there can be no exceptions to this rule, and we can only clarify our ideas as to what is and what is not love. perhaps this maxim, which we learn by gradual experience, will help us. sex passion quickly burns itself out. the pleasures derived from passion will be of a purely temporary nature, without the satisfaction which alone comes from permanence. all physical things are less permanent than the mental. there is no joy, no divine nature in sex, save where from the ashes of passion rises the phoenix of the "sexual" but the super-passionate attachment. and this permanent possession can only come, whether in marriage or outside, where the mind, healthily developed and exercised, is taking its true place in the expression of pure love. _printed in great britain by hazell, watson & viney, ld., london and aylesbury._ footnotes: [ ] _the origin of sexual modesty_, by edward westermarck. [ ] _vide_ r. v. jellyman ( ) c and p, . [ ] until recently incest was not a civil offence. [ ] the second object of marriage is declared to be "a remedy against sin...; that such persons as have not the gift of continency marry and keep themselves undefiled members of christ's body." [ ] cor. vii. , . "burn" means sex-obsession as mentioned on page . [ ] "where the decree tametsi of the council of trent has not been proclaimed, marriage is constituted by mere consent freely exchanged between persons who are by natural and canonical law competent and able to intermarry."--geary's _marriage and family relations_. (now altered by _ne temere_-decree, but the principle remains.) [ ] we have already commented on the strange inconsistency of regarding the sex-act as evil _per se_ outside marriage, and as a virtue in marriage. [ ] i am using "celibacy" to imply complete physical chastity. [ ] with the curious inconsistency, already referred to, that in marriage non-celibacy is a virtue. [ ] except by act of parliament. [ ] the majority report of the divorce commission is a good instance of the unnecessary hardship which results from half-hearted proposals of this kind. divorce is to be allowed, for example, after desertion for three years; why not for two? or again, the wife of an incurable drunkard is to be free to obtain divorce, while the unhappy wife of a man who suffers from violent fits of intermittent drunkenness is to be denied this relief. [ ] i refrain from adding "economic" reasons, for i believe that the state should remove, as far as possible, all such obstacles against healthy parents begetting children. [ ] procuration for the purpose of prostitution is of course an entirely different matter. [ ] no actual physical harm need result from an incestuous union. the only effect which seems to be caused is that the characteristics to be hereditarily transmitted are doubled. thus with only a small grain of insanity in a family the chances of aggravated insanity appearing in the offspring of a brother and sister would be considerable. [ ] spiritual affinity was a bar, so that not only could not godparents marry each other, but there could be no valid unions between a godparent and the child's father or mother. (geary's _marriage and family relations_.) [ ] some apology must be made for the use of this hybrid term. the unwarrantable confusion of greek and latin terminology must, however, be laid at the door of popular use. [ ] _psychology of sex_; vol. _sexual inversion_. dr. hirschfeld in his _statistischen vatersuchunge über den prozentensetz der homosexuellen_, considers that out of , inhabitants, , on the average are sexually normal, , exclusively homosexual, and , bisexual. [ ] the existence of this danger was admitted in a debate in the house of lords on august , , on the criminal law amendment bill. the earl of malmesbury, speaking on a proposal to apply criminal prosecution to homosexual offences among women, declared that "the opportunity for blackmail will be vastly and enormously increased." other speakers concurred in this view, and it was partly on this ground that the proposal was thrown out. it is hardly necessary to point out that if blackmail would be encouraged by such legislation, it must equally be encouraged by the present law regarding similar offences between males. [ ] _the intermediate sex._ [ ] i cannot enter here into that further theory which may be described as "expression through a phantasy." available by internet archive (https://archive.org) note: images of the original pages are available through internet archive. see https://archive.org/details/b transcriber's note: text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). text enclosed by plus signs is in bold face (+bold+). sexual life of primitive people * * * * * * by s. herbert, m.d., m.r.c.s., i.r.c.p. +an introduction to the physiology and psychology of sex.+ large crown vo. illustrated. price + / + net. +fundamentals in sexual ethics.+ an enquiry into modern tendencies. large crown vo. price + / + net. +first principles of heredity.+ second edition. containing illustrations. large crown vo. price + / + net. +first principles of evolution.+ second edition. containing illustrations, diagrams and tables. large crown vo. price + / + net. by mrs. s. herbert. +sex lore.+ a primer on courtship, marriage and parenthood. containing illustrations. large crown vo. price + / + net. by mrs. havelock ellis. +the new horizon in love and life.+ with a preface by edward carpenter and an introduction by marguerite tracy. large crown vo. price + / + net. published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. . agents america the macmillan company & fifth avenue, new york australasia the oxford university press flinders lane, melbourne canada the macmillan company of canada, ltd. st. martin's house, bond street toronto india macmillan & company, ltd. macmillan building, bombay bow bazaar street, calcutta * * * * * * sexual life of primitive people by h. fehlinger translated by s. herbert, m.d., m.r.c.s., l.r.c.p. author of "an introduction to the physiology and psychology of sex," "fundamentals in sexual ethics," etc. and mrs. s. herbert, author of "sex lore." a. & c. black, ltd. , & soho square, london, w. preface to most lay people the established order of sex relationships and marriage seems something so self-evident and stable that they cannot conceive the possibility of a variation in the established order. yet here, as in all things, the law of evolution applies. our sexual system is the outcome of a long continuous series of changes beginning with the very dawn of human history. to understand the modern sex problem rightly it is essential to know its origin and gradual development. most of the material about the sex life of primitive people is inaccessible to the ordinary reader, being hidden away in learned treatises and ponderous scientific works. the translators are, therefore, glad to have found in fehlinger's book a short comprehensive outline of the subject, which may serve as a convenient introduction. s. h. f. h. manchester, _july, _. contents chapter page i. modesty among primitive people ii. pre-marital freedom and conjugal fidelity iii. courtship customs iv. marriage v. birth and feticide vi. ignorance of the process of generation vii. mutilation of the sex organs viii. maturity and decline ix. bibliography sexual life of primitive people i modesty among primitive people in cold and temperate climates, it is necessary to clothe the body as a protection against cold. in hot parts of the world, the need for protection against the effects of the weather by means of clothing disappears, and therefore in those regions primitive people go about naked. it is only when they come under the influence of foreign civilisation that they put on clothing. it is erroneous to assume that clothing came into use because of an inborn sexual modesty. in australia, in the indonesian and melanesian islands, in tropical africa, and in south america, there are still many peoples that go about naked. it is true that many of them cover their sex organs; but the contrivances used for this purpose are not in reality intended to hide the sex region, though to our mind they seem to do so. primitive people do not cover their bodies out of modesty; "the sinfulness of nakedness" is unknown to them. karl von den steinen (pp. , ) says that the naked indian tribes of the xingu region of brazil know no secret parts of the body. "they joke about these parts in words and pictures quite unabashed, so that it would be foolish to call them indecent. they are envious of our clothing, as of some precious finery; they put it on and wear it in our presence with a complete disregard of the simplest rules of our own society, and in complete ignorance of its purpose. this proves that they still possess the pristine guilelessness of adam and eve in eden. some of them celebrate the advent of puberty in members of both sexes by noisy festivals, when the 'private parts' come in for a good deal of general attention. if a man wishes to inform a stranger that he is a father, or a woman that she is a mother, they gravely denote the fact by touching the organs from which life springs, in a most spontaneous and natural manner. it is, therefore, not possible to understand these people properly unless we put aside our conception of 'clothing,' and take them and their manners in their own natural way." the absence of sexual modesty in our sense also struck von steinen when questions about words arose. if he asked about a word which to our minds might give cause for shame, the reply was given without hesitation or any semblance of shame. nevertheless, conversations about sexual subjects gave the indians, men and women, decided pleasure; but their merry laughter was "neither impudent, nor did it give the impression of hiding an inward embarrassment. it had, however, a slightly erotic tone, and resembled the laughter aroused by the jokes in our own spinning-rooms, by games of forfeits, and by other harmless jokes exchanged in intercourse between the sexes, although the occasions and accompanying circumstances must be so very different among truly primitive people." naked savages are, however, not devoid of sexual modesty. it shows itself immediately when any remark addressed to them can be construed as an invitation to sexual intercourse, or when coarse jokes are made about sexual subjects. this is clearly shown in an account by koch-grünberg (i., p. ). his european companion wanted to perform a kind of stomach dance before some savage indians of the upper rio negro, such as is danced in places of ill repute in brazilian towns. the very indecent movements of the dancer caused the women and girls to retire shyly. the european in his attempt to "entertain" the company failed completely. yet one can converse quietly with these indians on all sexual subjects so long as they are natural; it is only obscenity that shocks them. according to eylmann, the australians, at least the men, show no modesty in sex matters, though they are by no means devoid of it in other respects. thus, _e.g._, they are ashamed of any mutilation of their bodies. young men do not cover their sex organs, but the old ones do so, because they seem to be aware that this part of the body, of which they were once so proud, bears signs of old age. the women also rarely make use of an apron, yet they show clearly marked sexual modesty. a woman is always very careful not to expose the external sex organs when she sits or lies down in the presence of men. the greatest decency is observed during the time of menstruation. in indonesia the feeling of modesty among those tribes that are in constant contact with europeans is essentially different from that of the tribes less under foreign influence. thus nieuwenhuis (i., pp. , ) mentions, for instance, the bahaus and kenyas of central borneo. of these the latter are only slightly influenced by the mohammedan malays, the former, however, relatively much more so. although members of both tribes bathe completely naked, yet the bahaus dress immediately after the bath, whilst the kenyas go naked to and from the bath. the kenya women also go naked to the spring to bring water and to bathe their children. whilst getting the boats through the rapids the kenya men take off their loin-cloths, but the bahau men never do this. when nieuwenhuis' expedition stayed some time among the kenyas, it was noticed that the people got out of the habit of going about naked at times. this was only because the malays and bahaus belonging to the expedition had told the kenyas that the white people objected to the naked appearance of the natives (which was not correct). nieuwenhuis adds: "it can thus be seen what a great _rôle_ acquired modesty plays in the evolution of clothes." the clothing of the present-day dyaks serves as a protection against the heat of the sun, and in the mountains against cold, and as a prevention of the darkening of the skin (which, particularly in women, is considered ugly); it is also used as an ornament and to scare enemies, but never for the concealment of the body. the dyaks show shame when made embarrassed before other people; on such occasions they blush right down to the breast. nieuwenhuis made use of this circumstance in the case of the bahaus in order to make them keep their promises and do their duties (ii., p. ). the eskimos in the far north of america are, as a rule, thickly clothed; but it is quite usual for them to go about naked in their snow huts without any thought of offending against decency. whoever lives for a time among naked savages becomes accustomed to their nakedness, and does not feel anything objectionable in it. Æsthetically there is this disadvantage, that the sick and the aged look very repulsive in their decline; but then again youth and strength show off to great advantage in nakedness. if the origin of clothing is not due to sexual modesty, it would at first appear strange that so many naked savages cover their sexual organs either completely or partly, wearing a pubic apron or some similar arrangement. the contrivances used are sometimes so small that they can hardly have been intended as coverings. thus the women of the karaib, aruak, and tupi tribes in the xingui region all wear a triangular piece of bark bast not more than centimetres wide and centimetres high. the lower end of the triangle runs into a perineal strip of hard bark about millimetres wide. two narrow cords coming from the two upper ends pass along the groins, and meet the narrow perineal strip coming from the lower end of the triangle. these _uluri_ only just cover the beginning of the pubic cleft, pressing tightly on it. the triangle does not reach the introitus vaginæ, which is, however, closed, or at least kept inwards, by the pressure exerted by the tightened strip of bast running from front to back. similar binders are used by the indian women of central brazil. the binder used by the trumai women is twisted into a cord, serving still less as a cover. in fact, none of these binders serve as covers, but they are intended to close up and to protect the mucous membrane. this also applies to the binders used by the various peoples living on the islands of the pacific ocean, as, _e.g._, by the mafulus of papua. various contrivances are also to be met with among many primitive men which seem to have the purpose of protecting the penis, and which really achieve that end. among certain tribes of brazil penis wraps made from palm straw are worn; other tribes use a t-shaped bandage, which is also very common in polynesia, micronesia and melanesia. the penis is pulled up by means of the t-bandage, the testicles remaining free. sometimes old men use a broad band, under which they can also push the testicles. in the new hebrides, new caledonia, and other places, the penis is tightly bandaged, and is drawn up and fastened to the girdle by means of a cord or band, the testicles hanging free. calabashes are also used to protect the penis. in melanesia the penis pin goes with the calabash. georg friederici (p. ) says about its use: "the penis pin, which is the shape of a wooden knitting needle, is stuck into the hair near the comb, and is often brought into use. the calabash, which serves the purpose of protecting the penis against injury in the bush and attacks from insects, has the disadvantage of easily becoming loose and filling quickly with water during swimming and wading. after every passage of a river reaching above the pubic region a halt had to be made, during which my men took off their calabashes and emptied them; then they put a new layer of green leaves into the round opening, stuck the penis in, and, with the help of the penis pin, pushed it in until it had completely disappeared and the calabash lay close to the abdomen." when sitting round the camp fire, and at other times, the men can be seen drawing the pins from their hair and making their toilet. the covering of the penis is undoubtedly intended as a protection of the sensitive glans. thus in the brazilian forest the penis becomes endangered by spines of leaves being brushed off the branches and boring themselves deeply into the flesh; the spines get torn when pulled out, and cause painful inflammations. for warding off insects the women of many indian tribes have tassels hanging in front of the sex organs. in the northern territory of australia both men and women wear such tassels. there are still greater dangers in the wilderness. in brazil there exists a small fish (_cetopsis candiru_) which has a tendency towards boring itself into any of the exposed orifices of the body. it slips into the urethra, and is prevented by its fins from getting out again, and thus may easily bring about the death of the victim, to whom nothing remains but to attempt an impromptu operation by slitting open the urethra with his knife. friederici remarks that it is just in those regions of tropical america where the protection of the penis is most prevalent that fish with sharp teeth (pygocentrus species) are to be found which have a tendency towards attacking protruding unprotected parts of the body, thus often causing castration in men. there is no foundation for the assumption of adolf gerson that men invented the apron or resorted to binding up of the penis in order to hide its erection, which would make them appear ridiculous, for sex matters do not appear ridiculous to primitive people. in fact, such contrivances cannot hide sexual excitement. many peoples who use them do not even have the wish to keep their excitement secret. habituation to nakedness ultimately lessens the stimulus to excitement. the following fact, stated by friederici, is worthy of notice: "during the many months in which i lived exclusively among the natives i never saw even the slightest sign of an erection in sleeping men, nor have i ever heard or read that any one else has noticed such a thing among naked primitive peoples, untouched by civilisation." clothing has nothing to do with sexual feelings or modesty among primitive people. to the people living in the tropics clothes are essentially ornamental; they are worn for reasons of vanity, not out of modesty. this can be well observed in those cases where loin-cloths which actually cover up the pubic region are raised without any consideration for people present, if there is any danger of their becoming soiled or injured. the malay women in the central part of luzon (philippines), when working in the fields, discard their wrappings without worrying in the least if observed by the men. it is the same in other places. as has been said before, among some naked peoples it is the custom for the men to fasten up the penis without any covering under a hip band. in other places they tie up the foreskin with a thread. by this means protection is also given to the glans, but it is questionable whether this was always the origin of this custom. in fact, it is doubtful whether the need for protection was always the only reason for the wearing of sheaths, binders, etc., for at least among some of the people it is connected with some ceremonial which implies its sexual significance. in the case of women, another factor may have played a _rôle_, viz., the fact that menstruation is considered an illness, as may be seen in the widespread custom of treating girls medically during menstruation. the binder may have been intended to counteract the loss of blood. the stretching of the foreskin which results from the use of penis wraps, penis binders, etc., may be looked upon as a precaution against phimosis, serving the same purpose as circumcision does among numerous peoples. sexual modesty with regard to the naked body cannot be considered innate in mankind, for it is unknown among many naked peoples. on the other hand, there is an instinctive tendency in man to hide from his fellows the effluvia of the sexual and digestive organs. thus h. ellis (p. ) gives a good explanation of the impulse towards concealment during the sex act: "both male and female need to guard themselves during the exercise of their sexual activities from jealous rivals, as well as from enemies who might take advantage of their position to attack them. it is highly probable that this is one important factor in the constitution of modesty, and it helps to explain how the male, not less than the female, cultivates modesty and shuns publicity in the exercise of sexual functions." the idea, begotten from fear, that sexual intercourse must be kept secret, became easily extended to the feeling that such intercourse was in itself wrong. the mystery surrounding sexual intercourse has certainly been one of the factors leading to its concealment. primitive man has a tendency towards endowing with supernatural powers all processes that he cannot understand; they become sacred, and hence have to be carried out in privacy. the feeling of disgust may perhaps be an additional reason for the concealment of the sex act. the objects arousing disgust vary among different peoples according to the conditions of their lives; but almost everywhere dangerous things are classed under this category, to which belong, according to the notion of primitive people, the discharges from the sexual and digestive organs. it thus comes about that primitive man is ashamed of urinating and defæcating even before persons of his own sex. even the lowest savage will seek out a very secluded spot for the fulfilment of these functions. thus koch-grünberg, for instance, says: "the indian goes deep into the wood for a certain business, comparing favourably in this respect with our own peasants." friederici writes of the melanesians that they are not at all ashamed to show the sexual parts, but are extremely shy of exposing the anus, and will always avoid letting themselves be seen during defæcation. in the central districts the people betake themselves for this purpose early in the morning to some outlying place, while those living near the sea go to the beach, each person keeping as far away as possible from his neighbour. the africans that have not yet become spoiled by contact with strangers also seek remote places (weule and schweinfurth). the negroes, however, who are under mohammedan influence, approach in this respect the beasts of the field. the tales of licentiousness among primitive people that are to be found in old works of travel are mostly invented or grossly exaggerated. looseness and laxity do not exist anywhere, though the unwritten laws which regulate the behaviour of the sexes are different from ours. unbridled indulgence is nowhere to be found; the public performance of the sex act takes place only exceptionally among some peoples, and then for ceremonial purposes. even where, on festival occasions, marital intercourse takes place as a matter of course, the couples disappear into the darkness. so far as can be judged from ethnological literature, europeans have rarely had the opportunity of observing the sex act, and then nearly exclusively among the african negroes, who must be reckoned the most sensual of all existing peoples. (see the works of leo frobenius and georg schweinfurth.) ii pre-marital freedom and conjugal fidelity travellers and missionaries, seeing things merely from the standpoint of european civilisation, have for a long time attributed to primitive people conceptions of sexual behaviour like our own. but the real truth could not be hidden for long. it is now firmly established that the moral ideas of primitive people differ as widely from ours as does their sense of modesty. they do not consider sexual intercourse _per se_ as immoral, and generally allow unmarried people full liberty. it is only where a more advanced civilisation leads to material considerations in the matter of sex relationship that, as a rule, this liberty is restricted or entirely in abeyance. should any consequences ensue from the practice of free love, the lover is generally in duty bound to marry the girl. among some tribes, however, no such obligation exists; the lover may break off his connection with the pregnant girl. frequently in cases of pre-marital pregnancy abortion is resorted to, which is very prevalent among primitive races. among some people, on the contrary, a girl who has had a child gets married the more easily, for she has given proof of her fertility. besides, the child will be an additional worker in the house. most peoples demand conjugal fidelity from their married women, though we shall hear of some exceptions. it is certainly not correct, as buschan ( , p. ) says, that the rules concerning sexual intercourse are stringent throughout for women, and that only in a childless marriage may a woman take up with another man. among many peoples, living so far apart as asia, australia, oceania and africa, we find that married men and women are in certain cases allowed intercourse with other persons. the full meaning of this arrangement is as yet unknown. the idea of sexual purity is not innate nor unchangeable. ethnographical research has fully proved that purity in our sense of the term is unknown even to-day among many peoples, and that there exist no restrictions upon sexual intercourse except for the prevention of cohabitation among blood relations. a greater or less degree of sexual liberty before marriage prevails among most of those peoples in asia that are not under the influence of islam, buddhism and hinduism. indeed, it even exists among some uncivilised hindu tribes, as, _e.g._, among the lower hindu castes of kashmir and of the punjab mountains, the various lower castes of agra-oudh, in the central provinces and berar, and in southern india; but they restrict pre-marital relationship to persons of their own community. most dravidian races, however, forbid intercourse between members of the same exogamic group, though it takes place at times in spite of this. the mongolian races generally show indifference in this respect. thus t. c. hudson (p. ) says of the nagas in manipur that they are conspicuous for their exceptionally loose pre-marital relationship, although they demand strict fidelity in marriage. pre-marital intercourse between persons to whom marriage is forbidden is not considered improper, which may be due to the fact that the nagas, like the australian tribes, are ignorant of the process of generation. among many native indian tribes the grown-up children do not sleep in their parents' huts, but in houses of their own, in which they commonly visit each other by night. should a girl become pregnant, the probable father is expected to marry her. if he refuses, he has to pay damages, and the girl is at liberty to marry some one else, which she can do without any difficulty. sometimes abortion is resorted to, especially when both persons belong to the same exogamic group, the members of which are not allowed to intermarry. the tribes of baroda, the maduvars of madras, and the ghasyas of the united provinces, permit a probationary period of cohabitation. it is considered no disgrace for a girl if the trial marriage does not result in a permanent marriage. among the garos it is an unwritten law that after certain great festivals young men and women may sleep together. otherwise these garos, like the tribes and castes previously referred to, are strictly monogamous. sexual promiscuity often occurs after feasts, and it is not restricted to the unmarried (playfair, p. ). it is only seldom that unfaithfulness on the part of married women is tolerated. but there are exceptions. gait states that in the djamna mountains the women of the thakkar, megh, and other low castes lead just as unrestrained a life after marriage as before. the djats of baluchistan are in ill repute because they incite their married women to unfaithfulness, if any advantage can be obtained thereby for the men. certain nomadic castes, such as the mirasis, prostitute their women, and the love affairs of married women of the servant class meet with no opposition whatever. in the eastern region of djamba, in the punjab, the husband is expected to allow a guest free entrance to the women's chambers. in the western part of this province the djats and pathans will often take back married women who have eloped, and not rarely a husband will recognise as his own a son who may have been born while the woman was away. in southern india married women enjoy a great deal of sexual freedom, especially in those communities where the descent is reckoned in the female line. where marriage between cousins is customary, grown-up girls are often married to quite young boys. during the immaturity of the husband the wife is allowed to have sexual relations with the father of her child husband or another near relation, sometimes even with any one member of the caste chosen by her. this custom also exists in kashmir, not only among the ladakhis, but also among other low hindu castes, and is also to be found in other parts of the world. many south indian castes allow their married women much freedom with the relatives of their husbands. the tootiyans go so far as to forbid a husband to enter his house if he finds the door locked and a relation's shoe before it. the maloyali, a mountain tribe, accept unfaithfulness on the part of their wives quite lightly, unless the partner belongs to another caste; if a woman lives for a time with a lover and has children during this time, the husband will on her return recognise the children as his own. the state of affairs is similar among the kudans and parivarams. many low hindu castes in north kanara allow their women extra-marital intercourse with men of their own or of a higher caste. among some castes, such as the irulas and kurumbas, formal marriage is completely unknown, an almost unbridled sexual promiscuity taking its place. a korawa of madras who has debts to pay either pawns or simply sells his wife. the todas and other polyandrous communities of south india do not know jealousy (rivers, , p. ; iyer, i., p. ). an exception to the rule that faithfulness in marriage is more strictly enforced than purity before marriage is to be found among the pongalakapus of madras, who allow extra-marital intercourse of married women, but punish that of unmarried girls and widows (gait). the veddahs of ceylon, who, according to paul and fritz sarasin, are physically and intellectually of the lowest human type, practise monogamy, which lasts until the death of one of the partners. marital unfaithfulness is rare, and leads to heavy punishment of the offending rival, who, as a rule, is assassinated. only where foreign influence has become apparent is there a tendency to dissolve marriage before death (paul and fritz sarasin). hose and macdougall mention that among the nomadic hunting tribes of inner borneo "the women are chaster after marriage than before." apparently neither sex practises much restraint. a girl's pregnancy generally results in her marriage with the father of the expected child. amongst the settled tribes of borneo a young man seeks a love affair as soon as he is attracted to the other sex; he may have relations with several girls one after another, but generally marries early. the marriage age of the men is about twenty, of the girls still earlier. there is no information about their marital fidelity. the dutchmen hinlopen and severijn state that in they found on the poggi islands, on the west coast of sumatra, a state of complete promiscuity. some of the men are said to get married, but only very late, between the ages of forty and fifty, when their detailed tattooing is completed; it is only seldom that a young man takes a separate wife. g. a. wilken enumerates the following east indian communities as living in sexual promiscuity: the lubus, the orang-sakai of malacca, the olo-ot, and other bornean tribes; the inhabitants of the island peling. he adduces no evidence, however; and his statement is certainly incorrect as far as the sakai of malacca are concerned. among the non-christian tribes of the philippine islands considerable pre-marital liberty prevails. among the igorotes, _e.g._, the dormitory of the unmarried girls (the _olag_) serves also as the pairing place of the marriageable young people. in the villages young people, joking and laughing, can frequently be seen going about wrapped in one blanket and with their arms round each other. there is no secrecy about the wooing; it is carried on mainly in the _olag_. marriage rarely takes place without previous intercourse, and seldom before the girl is pregnant. an exception to this rule only occurs when a rich man marries a girl against her will at the parents' wish. not infrequently a young man has affairs with two or three girls at one and the same time. the girls quite openly and unmistakably invite the men to go with them into the _olag_. as soon as a girl becomes pregnant, she at once joyfully informs the father of the child, for these people are very fond of children. if the man refuses to marry the girl, there is likely to be tears, but no one is much concerned about the infidelity itself, because the girl can find a husband later on in spite of her having borne a child; indeed, the more so, as there can be no doubt of her fertility. it is not customary for married men to enter the _olag_. a young man, however, can go there if his former love has remained single and welcomes him, because she still has hopes of becoming his wife, for it is easy to get a separation, and if a man can afford it, he may have two or three wives, though polygamy is rare. a man whose wife is pregnant does not visit the _olag_, for it is feared that this may bring about a premature birth and cause the death of the child. married women apparently remain always faithful (a. e. jenks, p. ). ferdinand blumentritt makes a statement, based on spanish information, that the girls' houses of the igorotes serve the purpose of ensuring pre-marital purity. this, however, is incorrect. very similar customs prevail among the naga tribes of assam (peal, pp. _et seq._). the pure senoi and semang tribes of the malay peninsula practise strict monogamy. marriage takes place at an early age, sometimes between boys of fourteen and girls of thirteen. even betrothals of children seem to occur. marital unfaithfulness is punished with death (martin, , p. ). in many districts of australia, indeed, among the majority of the natives of the australian continent, there exist two forms of sexual union side by side. the one form consists in a girl's being given in marriage to one man without regard to the difference in ages, and also without any consideration for feelings of personal sympathy. indeed, such is hardly possible, for the girls are given to the men at a very young age. the main cause of these unions is apparently economic. it ensures the man a housekeeper for himself who has to gather the largest share of provisions, for the result of the man's hunting yields only a very small part of the absolutely essential food. a man may have, according to his social position, one or more such housekeepers. in addition, each man and woman may form a union with one or more of the other sex merely for the purpose of sexual intercourse. unlike the "marriages" previously mentioned, these unions do not take place without any formality--there is a special ceremony for the occasion. they do not last for life, at least among some of the tribes, but are regulated from time to time. this form of sexual union is generally called _pirauru_ in ethnographical literature, after the designation in use among the tribes of the dieri, where this kind of sex community was first observed. the men of a _pirauru_ group are either consanguineous or collateral brothers, members of one and the same subdivision of the tribe; similarly, the women of a _pirauru_ group are consanguineous or collateral sisters. sexual intercourse with a _pirauru_ wife is allowed during the absence of the husband who is her usual mate, and also at special festivals. when a man's housekeeper dies, her children are cared for by one of his _pirauru_ wives until he gets another housekeeper. without the institution of _pirauru_, the younger men would be barred from sexual intercourse. many of them are without housekeepers, as most of the young women are in the possession of the older influential men. it has been said that the old men are often killed by the young men on this account (spencer, p. ). the majority of the tribes that have the institution of _pirauru_ are ignorant of the connection between sexual intercourse and conception (see chapter vi.). it is therefore not the production of progeny which seems to be the purpose of a common household between man and woman, nor of the _pirauru_ unions. institutions similar to the australian _pirauru_ also exist outside australia. codrington (p. ) has established the fact that in the solomon islands and in other parts of melanesia a woman of an exogamic group who is not yet married to one particular man may legitimately have sexual intercourse with all men of another exogamic group who are her potential husbands. the exogamic groups play a far more important _rôle_ than individual marriage. in the fijian islands every man has the right to sexual intercourse with his wife's sisters. on special ceremonial occasions intercourse is permitted between those groups of men and women who stand in the relationship of possible conjugal partners (thomson, p. ). pre-marital sexual freedom of both sexes exists, or did exist, all over the south sea islands before the advent of european influence. thus, _e.g._, robert w. williamson (pp. - ) writes of the mafulus, in the mountains of new guinea, that unmarried youths and maidens are allowed to associate with each other without any precautions. there exists a good deal of "immorality." even after marriage (which takes place with an elaborate pretence of bride capture) husband and wife are, as a rule, not faithful to each other, the marriage bond being very loose. but it is said that unfaithfulness on the part of the women (though not of the men) is considered a great offence. the injured husband used to have the right of killing the guilty man, which he did, as a rule, until the british authorities put an end to the practice. nowadays the deceived husband is generally satisfied if he receives a pig or some other article of value from the guilty rival. in africa sexual community is allowed at certain periods among the hereros (brinker, p. ). among many other bantu tribes sexual communism is customary, particularly at the initiation of the young people. the girls, too, are allowed to choose male partners for a time, and among many tribes of south africa it was customary for the girls who refused to be given to men against their will. the colonial government has now put a stop to this (theal). the statements about the hottentots of south africa vary. but the custom of _sore_, which is found among them, seems to point to the existence of an institution similar to the australian _pirauru_. schultze (pp. , ) thinks that illicit love was punished among the hottentots before the extensive immigration of the white people into south africa led to the overthrow of their old customs. either the guilty couple were beaten, with the consent of the parents, or the lover received, in addition to his own, his sweetheart's share of punishment. but schultze mentions also that the institution of _sore_, intended ostensibly for the exchange of love gifts, really means in many cases a secret agreement for intimate extra-marital relationship, though it is generally quite honourable. this institution is by no means an innovation. the hamitic tribes of east africa, who belong to the most warlike races of mankind, permit pre-marital intercourse of both sexes. a. c. hollis ( , pp. , ) says of the nandi; "the unmarried warriors, as many as ten, sleep in the huts called _sigiroinet_, where the girls visit them and remain with them a few days, living with them in free love." married women are not allowed to enter these huts. when the warriors go away for a time or go to war, their sweethearts keep the huts in order. real "family life" is unknown, for the bigger boys and girls also live alone in special huts or together with the old women; the little boys who serve the warriors sleep in their houses. there is no publicly recognised punishment for adultery; but if a husband discovers another man not belonging to his _mat_ (one of the subdivisions of each of the seven age classes) with his wife or one of his wives, he beats him severely. adultery is also not considered wrong when it concerns a couple that have previously lived together in free love in the warriors' house, even when the woman does not belong to a _mat_ comrade. when a nandi travels and wishes to remain somewhere overnight, he must first of all apply to another member of his _mat_ in the place. if there is one, and both men are married, the latter gives hospitality to the guest, commissions his wife to fulfil his wishes, and leaves the hut in order to sleep elsewhere. the wife pours water over the hands of the guest, brings him a stool and food, puts his weapons into a place of safety, and spends the night with him. should there be no member of his _mat_ in the place, the traveller betakes himself to a member of the nearest _mat_; and, after having explained the situation, he is treated exactly as if both men belonged to the same _mat_. members of different age classes do not offer each other hospitality or expect it. if the traveller is unmarried, he spends the night in the warriors' hut. children born before marriage are killed by the nandis, only one group making an exception to this rule. the masai have when travelling the same customs as the nandis. sexual intercourse with a girl or woman of the same age class is not considered wrong. a warrior marries the girl he makes pregnant. children born before marriage are considered a disgrace. a person who has relations with a woman belonging to the paternal age class must beg pardon of the older men and give as reparation two oxen or a commensurate quantity of honey wine. an old man who has sexual intercourse with his daughter or with another girl of her age is severely punished, if the affair comes to light: he is beaten, his kraal is pulled down, and his cattle are killed _ad libitum_ (hollis, , pp. , , ). of the conditions existing among the baganda in east africa the missionary john roscoe (p. ) gives us the following picture: "neither the men nor the women controlled their sexual cravings unless insurmountable obstacles came in the way. women, however, could only attain their aims by stratagem. if an unmarried girl became pregnant, the guilty man had to pay a fine, and he was induced to marry the girl. if a husband discovered his wife with another man, he had the right to kill them both. nevertheless the married women kept in strict seclusion used to receive lovers, which even the most dreadful punishments for adultery could not prevent." it has to be noticed that the social formation of classes was already greatly developed among the baganda at the time described by roscoe. the wealthy men were in a position to have as many wives as they could support, so that there was a scarcity of women for the remaining men. it is not remarkable, therefore, that these tried to meet this fact by force and cunning. although married women were secluded, single girls had a fair amount of liberty. among the bushmen of south africa, now nearly extinct, husband and wife remained faithful to each other for life. but if they became tired of each other, no hindrance was put in the way of separation and remarriage. a second husband, however, or a second wife was most probably never accepted into the family; their passionate temperament was against it (theal). about the indians of north-west brazil koch-grünberg relates: "whilst young girls enjoy the greatest liberty, their purity not being necessarily above suspicion, marriage itself is generally on a higher plane; a married couple are rarely unfaithful to each other." koch-grünberg has never noticed even the semblance of indecent behaviour between married people, nor under normal circumstances any serious quarrels or ugly scenes. the same or similar conditions prevail nearly all over south america where european influence is not yet predominant. karl von den steinen (p. ) mentions one exception to this rule. the bororos, who live on the st. lourenco river, and who were visited by him, have greatly degenerated, thanks to the civilising arts of the brazilians. a marriage is concluded without any formality and without the consent of the parents. the young wife remains with her children in her parents' house. the young husband only spends the night there; during the day he lives in the men's house when he is not hunting. the young couple have a hearth for themselves, the grandmother with the grandchildren sitting somewhat apart. thus it remains up to the death of the grandparents. the grandmother suckles the child when the young wife accompanies her husband on the hunt or fetches palm nuts from the woods; she still has milk when her children marry. young unmarried men live together in special men's houses. they look out betimes for wives. there are two customs which deserve our interest. a girl's ear-lobes are bored by her future husband. if he himself does not marry her, his son does so. furthermore, the man who puts the penis cuff on a boy becomes related to him and marries his sister or his aunt. girls were taken to the men's house quite openly by day, or were caught at night. these girls were not married to one man; any children born were fathered on those men with whom the girl had had relations. this state of affairs is the result of the overweening power wielded by the older men. the women are their possession, and a regular income of arrows and trinkets is earned by hiring out the girls to the men's house. unnatural intercourse is not unknown in the men's house, but it occurs only when there is an exceptionally great scarcity of girls. according to a statement of a native, the same conditions prevail in the remote villages, where some only of the members of a tribe have permanent possession of the women. but such information given by the natives must be accepted with great caution. no similar customs have become known anywhere else in south america. in north america the young people also had great liberty, but the married women dared not break their faith. among many tribes, especially the nomadic hunting tribes, there existed patriarchal conditions, with complete subordination of the women. intercourse with any one but their rightful husbands was taken in bad part. nowadays the indians of north america, with the exception of a small remnant living in the canadian tundra, have come under the influence of christianity. the probable existence of an earlier sex communism among the north american indians has been described in full by l. h. morgan. f. nansen reports that among the christian eskimos of the west coast of greenland the girls do not consider pre-marital motherhood as a disgrace. the green hair-band which the unmarried mothers have to wear is put on by them long before it is necessary. the young greenland girls do not deem any concealment of their love affairs necessary. in east greenland, which has not yet been reached by christianity, it is customary for a man who wants a wife simply to abduct the girl from her house or tent. the abduction is often only a pretence, for the couple have settled it all between themselves. formerly this form of marriage was in vogue all over greenland. the relations look on quietly, for it is all a private affair of those immediately concerned. should the girl really not wish to have the suitor, she will defend herself until she quietens down or the wooer renounces her. divorce also takes place without any difficulties; but generally the marriage is continued if there is a child, particularly if it should be a boy. if a man covets the wife of another, he will take her without any hesitation, if he is the stronger. among the non-christian eskimos most of the skilful hunters have two wives, but never more. the first wife is generally looked upon as the superior. temporary exchange of wives occurs up to the present time even among the christians on the west coast, especially when the people have to spend the summer hunting the reindeer in the interior of the country. as a rule, married people live on exceptionally good terms with each other. among the netchili eskimos near the magnetic north pole, however, conjugal harmony is, according to roald amundsen, not of the best. as a rule, the wife only escapes being beaten when she is stronger than the man. exchange of women is quite common. most of the girls are destined from birth for certain men, though sometimes things do not turn out as the parents wish it. when the girl is fourteen years old she seeks out her bridegroom, or he comes to her. there is no wedding. amundsen doubts whether the couple have, as a rule, any tender feelings towards each other. the girl is just given to the man by the parents, the man marrying her in order to have one more domestic drudge, for in reality the wife is nothing more nor less than a domestic animal. most eskimos offer their wives to any one. among the kamchadales, chukchee, jukagiers and tunguses of north asia the girls have pre-marital liberty, and there exists no marital fidelity. w. bogoras (p. ) describes "group marriage" among the chukchee, which seems to be an institution similar to the australian _pirauru_. there are groups, consisting of up to ten men or women, that have the right to sexual intercourse with each other; "but this right is comparatively rarely taken advantage of, only when a man has for some reason to visit the camp of one of his group companions. the host then gives up to him his place in the sleeping room, and if possible leaves the house for the night, going, for instance, to his flock. afterwards the host generally seeks an opportunity of returning the visit, so as to exercise his rights in turn." the sex communities are generally composed of neighbours and friends. the offspring of brothers and sisters in the second and third generations are, as a rule, united in the same sex community, but not brothers. bogoras thinks that the communities were originally limited to members of a group who were related, and were only later extended to other people; the ceremonies at the formation of a group seem to imply this. the persons concerned bring sacrifices and anoint themselves with blood, first in the one and then in the other camp. the admission into a group of persons who greatly diverge from each other in age is not welcomed, and single men are also not willingly admitted. the inhabitants of one and the same camp are seldom willing to form a sex community, for reciprocal relationship is intended as an exception rather than the rule, though there are deviations from this rule. every individual family of the chukchee belongs in practice to some sex community. should a family keep to themselves, it would indicate that they had no friends and no protectors in time of need. the children of members of a sex community are reckoned as near blood relations, and may not marry one another. it is quite different among the koryaks, the neighbours of the chukchee. they demand abstinence from the girls before marriage, and there is rarely any transgression against this law. pregnancy before marriage is a disgrace, and unmarried mothers are forced to give birth in the wilderness. children born before marriage are killed. after the advent of puberty the girls sleep in their "combinations," which are fashioned in such a way as to exclude undesirable intercourse. intercourse between engaged couples is also looked upon as sinful. sometimes the girl lives with relatives in another place for a time, or is kept hidden until the bridegroom works off at her parents' home the service which he owes to them. incest is strictly avoided, for it is feared that the evil-doers must die in consequence of it. the various prohibitions existing at the present day with regard to the marriage of certain consanguineous or adopted relations are only of recent date; they were unknown formerly (jochelson, p. ). perhaps the other existing sexual customs are also the result of missionary activities. the above examples, chosen at random, plainly show that the conceptions of sexual morality generally held by primitive people are different from those prevalent under european civilisation. very often these primitive customs have been greatly influenced or altogether exterminated by the example or the power of the european colonists. whether this was of benefit to the races cannot be discussed here. after all, european morality is not so very superior to that of the "savages." as georg friederici (p. ) pertinently says: "almost everywhere in our society we shut our eyes to the fact that our young men do what is forbidden to them, but is permitted to the melanesian and polynesian girls. we admit the state regulation of prostitution or, to avoid greater scandal, even street prostitution; yet we set out in moral indignation to reform the customs of primitive peoples which have proved their value and are consistent with their moral laws. having nothing better to put in their place, we merely introduce among them what happens to be our own canker." everywhere the fight against the traditional moral ideals has resulted merely in the introduction of prostitution, with all its corruption. we should therefore refrain from reforms that are misplaced, and should not attack customs that cannot be replaced by better ones, and that do not stand in the way of colonisation. iii courtship customs very often we find among primitive people that marriage is preceded by a pretended bride capture, though the couple themselves and their relations have agreed to the union. this gave occasion to the belief that the capture of women was formerly a widespread and original form of marriage. the pretended capture does not, however, seem to imply the existence of true "marriage by capture," but rather seems to indicate the fact that formerly brides were often given to men against their will and had to be forced to go with them. the fact that often the abducting bridegroom is in fun beaten by the brothers or other male relations of the girl does not exclude this conclusion, for the thrashing may be a later embellishment of the game of abduction, its purpose being to increase the pleasure of the guests by satisfying their spectacular desire. it is worthy of note that in assam among the matriarchal garos there is a pretended capture of the bridegroom. it would be a mistake to conclude from this that formerly mother-rule actually existed among the garos. in the report on the ethnographical survey of the indian central provinces (v., p. ) it is stated that it was formerly customary among the kulams to capture men for those of their girls who would otherwise have remained unmarried. among the peoples whose girls are married at a very young age no wooing is customary, as, _e.g._, among the dravidian indians, the australians, their near relations, and others. marriage in these cases takes place without any or with very little ceremony (jagor, spencer, howitt). it has been impossible so far in india to check the evil custom of child marriage; on the contrary, it is becoming more prevalent among the animistic tribes. child engagements rather than child marriages are prevalent among many peoples, as among the asiatic polar races and the eskimos of north america. but among most of these peoples free courtship exists. thus jochelson writes about the koryaks in the extreme north-east of asia: "if a koryak falls in love with a girl, he generally sends a match-maker to the father of the girl; but this is not always the case, and particularly so if the parents do not agree to the son's choice. frequently the young man, without telling anybody of his intentions, goes to the girl's home and does all the work there which is seemly for a man. the father-in-law accepts his services also in silence. if he is pleased with the bridegroom, he entrusts him with commissions; otherwise he lets him feel that he must leave the house. the bridegroom's service lasts from six months to three years. this service cannot be conceived as 'payment' for the bride, for the wealthier of the konaks could pay with reindeer instead of working off the price of the bride. besides, the bride receives a dowry of reindeer, which is worth much more than the service given by the son-in-law. this service is only an empty formality, if the wooer is an older man. it rather seems as if the main purpose of the service is to put the bridegroom to the test, for it is not the actual work done that is of most importance, but the harsh treatment that he has to endure and the meagre and laborious life that he is forced to lead. the service comes to an end whenever the father-in-law decides. the man then leads his bride home without any formality, although she at first pretends to struggle against it; she gives up this pretence as soon as the man succeeds in touching her sex organs. should a girl really not care for the man intended for her, she will attempt to escape in reality; but she is ultimately forced by her parents into marriage. often, however, the girl's inclination is taken into consideration before she is given into marriage." among the inland tribes of borneo young people get married as soon as they have reached maturity. the young man sends a confidential friend to the parents of the girl desired, who, as a matter of form, make objections and invent all manner of excuses. only after the second or third visit of the go-between is the matter taken at all seriously and a decision arrived at. if the parents agree, they receive from the go-between presents sent by the bridegroom, and the girl sends her lover strings of pearls. the time of the new moon is considered the best time for marriage. the wedding day is kept count of by both parties having strings with an equal number of knots, from which one knot is cut off each day. the marriage is celebrated with festivities, the bridegroom and guests appearing in war dress; there is great feasting and much ceremony (hose and mcdougall, ii., pp. _et seq._). among the mafulu, a hill tribe of new guinea, child engagements are frequent, but the courting of adults seems to predominate. r. w. williamson writes (p. ) that in one case known to him a girl of sixteen or seventeen years old was looked upon as married to the yet unborn son of a chief. when the boy died in early childhood, the girl was reckoned to be his widow. if a young mafulu youth wishes to marry and does not know where to look for a bride, he will sometimes light a fire outside the village; he will wait to see in which direction the next gust of wind will blow the smoke, and there he will turn to seek a wife. often the youth carries about with him a bag with small pieces of wood and stone. he rubs a piece of tobacco between two pieces and sends it to the girl of his choice by one of her female relatives. he believes that by this procedure the girl's heart will be turned towards him through some mysterious power. the young men often obtain the necessary pieces of wood or stone from a magician. the offer of marriage is also made through a third person, generally a woman. the consent of the parents is necessary; the marriage takes place without any special ceremony. among the pigmy races of asia and africa child marriage exists side by side with adult courtship. of the negritos of zambales (philippine islands) w. a. reed (p. ) says that the suitor has to pay a price for the bride. the parents try to bargain for as much as possible, and it is only when these demands have been fulfilled that the daughter has any choice in the matter. the young man who has found a suitable girl informs his family of the fact; they decide how much the girl is worth and how much must be paid for her. thereupon the suitor or a relative inquires of the girl's family whether they agree to the marriage. if they do, the purchase price is brought within a few days, and in case this proves satisfactory to the parents these give their consent. in many cases the girls are already in early youth promised to the boys chosen by the parents, but the children remain with their parents until maturity. sometimes little girls are given to grown-up men, so that the difference in ages is great, and the girls very unwillingly obey their parents' will. when two families have daughters _and_ sons the girls are exchanged as wives without either of the families paying a price. it is said that slaves and stolen strange children are given as payment for the bride. it is doubtful, however, according to w. a. reed, whether this still occurs. in many parts of the country the settlement of the price is followed by feasting and dancing, at which pretended capture of the bride plays a great _rôle_. among the hamites of east africa the custom exists of assigning girls still far from mature as wives to certain adult men. if, _e.g._, a masai wishes to marry, he courts a very young girl, whose father receives presents repeatedly. after the ritual operation is performed upon the girl the young man goes to live in the house of his father-in-law, bringing with him as gifts three cows and two oxen. when the time comes for taking the bride home, an additional present of three sheep is made. the girl puts on her bridal dress and follows the man without further ceremony. a man who possesses a big herd of cattle can have many wives, some rich men having as many as ten or twenty wives (hollis, , pp. , ). among the negroes adult people have the right to choose their mates, though choice is restricted through various traditional considerations. child engagements are not uncommon. thus among the bantus it is even to-day often customary to assign children at an early age to each other for marriage. weule (p. ) says of the jaos in east africa: "it is a general custom for a woman who has just given birth to a child to say to a pregnant neighbour: 'i have a daughter' (or 'a son'); 'if your child proves to be a son' (or 'a daughter'), 'they shall marry each other.' the other generally agrees, and this arrangement is adhered to later. for adults there exist no special rules in the choice of mates nowadays, and it is doubtful whether such existed previously. if a serf wants to marry, he tells his father, who informs the master. the latter then speaks with the father of the chosen girl. if the father agrees, the daughter is brought in and asked for her opinion. if she is not willing to marry the suitor, the affair is at an end. if she agrees, the relatives, with the master at the head, consult together, and the decision is then made. among the mokondes in the north of the rowuma river the young man looking out for marriage lets his parents negotiate with the girl's parents. if they come to an agreement, the bridegroom gives the bride's parents a present, which makes the affair binding. among the more conservative classes the eldest brother of the girl's mother also has a voice in the matter, getting a share of the bridegroom's presents. in olden times a makonde boy lived after his circumcision with one of his maternal uncles, into whose family he afterwards married. if there were no girls in the family, he waited for a cousin. the young man had to do all the work at his uncle's house until the daughter grew up. among the makuas the suitor himself goes to the girl's father, who again must get the consent of the mother's eldest brother. often all the brothers, instead of one, must be consulted. the suitor goes the next day for his answer. if the answer is 'yes,' the time for the wedding is appointed, at which well-meant speeches are made, and advice is given to the bridal pair. as a rule, the couple are more or less of the same age, but it sometimes happens that young girls are married by men much older than themselves." of the hottentots schultze (p. ) writes: "a man who wishes to get a confession of love from the girl of his choice gives her a little piece of wood. if the two have come to an agreement, they break it, each holding at one end, and then they throw the broken pieces at each other's chest. the couple then commence courting, during which time they are not allowed to speak a word with each other or to reach each other anything. an intermediary acts between them for this purpose. transgressions have to be expiated by presents. it is all an amorous game of hide-and-seek, which has hardened into a rigid custom. it can continue thus for months or for a year, and longer, before the affair ripens. this can happen in two ways: either openly by the parents' consent being asked, or secretly by means of a symbolic action which expresses the girl's agreement to complete surrender. the young man draws off one of his skin shoes and throws it to the girl in private. if she disregards the shoe, the proposal for an early union is rejected; in the contrary case she gives the shoe back. when the wedding is to come off, the parents negotiate with each other for some time, but more in pretence than real earnest. when an agreement has been reached, the marriage is celebrated with feasting." among the indians marriage is entered into by free courtship, though girls in particular, just as with us, are greatly dependent upon the will of their parents. the girls marry sometimes at a very early age, but marriage before maturity seems non-existent. koch-grünberg (i., pp. , ) says of the siusis that the choice of partners is not always the affair of those directly concerned. often the parents, or the father alone, choose the husband for the daughter. the parents have no such strong influence on the son's choice. the wedding is celebrated by dancing, which goes on for several days at the house of the bride's father. at the end of the festivities the latter makes a long speech to his son-in-law, and gives him over his daughter as wife, wherewith the marriage is consummated. the young wife goes to her husband's house, which, as a rule, also serves as the home of her parents-in-law. the trousseau is generally small. among the kobeua indians of the upper rio negro a young man wishing to marry asks the permission of the father of his bride-elect. if he consents, the bridegroom remains for five days in the house of his parents-in-law, and a big dance and banquet is held, in which many guests take part. at the end of the feast the father gives over his daughter to his son-in-law, whereupon the couple go off, the father breaking out into a ceremonial lament. amongst some races capture of women is said to be still customary. in any case the wife has to be from another tribe. evidence of woman capture is still to be found in the tradition of the tribe (koch-grünberg, ii., pp. , ). the bakairis have no wedding celebrations. the marriage is discussed by the parents. if they come to an agreement, the bride's father receives some trifles as a present. the bridegroom hangs up his hammock above that of the girl, and everything is settled. it is only where the tribe has fallen into decay that great differences in the ages of the married people occur, and that older men in particular have the privilege of possessing young wives (compare chapter ii.). divorce can be got without difficulty, even when the man is unwilling. among the paressis the marriage is arranged by the parents on both sides, and the bride, after having received a few presents, is led by her parents without any formality to her bridegroom's hammock (von den steinen, pp. , ). the custom of paying a price for the bride, prevalent among many races all over the world, is frequently spoken of as marriage by purchase. the price is very varied, and its value very unequal, but as a rule it is relatively small, and not infrequently it is so small as to have no economic value for the parents-in-law. among the animistic tribes of british india, who, as a rule, pay a price for the bride, the sum may be as much as rupees. generally more is paid for a virgin than for a widow; but there are some indian castes of manual labourers among whom the woman takes a share in the industrial work, and among whom the reverse is the case. it sometimes happens that the price is adjusted according to the age of the bride. often brides are exchanged between two families, so that the payment of a price is dispensed with. "marriage by service" still persists in various places, especially in asia. here the future son-in-law, instead of paying a price for the bride, has to work a certain number of years for the father of the bride. among most primitive people the woman represents labour power in the house, as the men, either wholly or to a large extent, occupy themselves with social concerns (e. hahn). domestic prosperity depends wholly on the women's work. thus it can easily be seen how the custom came about of demanding some service from the man who wanted a wife. real purchase of a wife occurs only exceptionally among primitive people. it is never the rule, nor is the woman a real object of barter. if actual sale of women occurs in some cases, it is only an exception. such cases are only frequent where the influence of islam is most pronounced. the bride price is wholly or partly paid back should the wife run away, or even if she meets with an early death. if there are sisters, the forsaken husband or widower may sometimes forego the restitution of the price paid and accept one of the sisters as his wife. in india a price for the bridegroom is paid, not only among the upper castes of the civilised races, but also occasionally among the lower castes and among the primitive natives. iv marriage by far the greatest number of primitive peoples are monogamous. only in relatively few cases is there polyandry. polygyny often occurs among persons who are specially favoured, either economically or socially; but it is nowhere the form of marriage of the majority of the population. the polygyny reported among certain tribes generally refers only to chiefs, magic doctors, or some other special persons who have more than one wife. sexual group communism at the side of monogamy or polyandry has been found in various places, but it is wrong to speak of it as "group marriage." this is evident from the previously quoted examples of the _pirauru_ in australia, the sex communities among the chukchee, the nandi, masai, and others. it is possible, of course, that monogamy which now co-exists with certain cases of sex communism may have been a later addition, but this is not proven. it is more likely that the pairing instinct (not identical with the instinct of procreation) is characteristic of our sub-human ancestors. in fact, even in the animal world there are numerous examples of monogamy (p. deegener). it has been established that in africa, indonesia, melanesia, and elsewhere, the small children remain with their parents, while the bigger children are lodged together in special boys' and girls' houses, and are, as it were, brought up communally. the relationship of the children to their own parents is not notably closer than that between them and other persons of the same age class. we must not look upon this child communism solely as a curiosity, but as the relic of a very ancient primitive institution. most likely there is some connection between child communism and the interchange of children which is customary, for example, among the dravidian races of india ("ethnographical survey of the central india agency") and on the murray islands, in the torres straits (australia). according to w. h. r. rivers ( , p. ), the interchange of children between families is very frequent here without the peoples being able to give any explanation of it. nor do other social and religious institutions offer any indication as to the origin of this custom. rivers surmises that it has been preserved from a social organisation in which "children were largely common to the women of the group so far as nurture was concerned." at any rate, this adoption _en masse_ will help civilised man to understand that less civilised peoples have ideas about parenthood different from those that exist among us, and also that group motherhood is not absurd. the existence of group motherhood among primitive communities--whose members were much more dependent on each other in the struggle for existence than are the members of much more advanced societies--must often have been of considerable advantage to these communities. on the assumption of "group motherhood" it is easily explainable that children use the same mode of address for their own sisters and brothers as for all the other children of the group, and that all the women of equal ages are called "mother." hence the classificatory system of relationship ceases to be puzzling. it becomes clear why under this system whole groups of persons designate each other as husbands and wives, and why the children of all the persons of these groups call each other brothers and sisters, etc. the assumption is justified that man in a low state of civilisation knew only group relationship; further distinctions were derived only later from these relationships, the present-day classificatory system arising ultimately from them. among the peoples where rivers could examine this system there were indications of a development in the direction of using it rather for the distinction of real blood and marriage relationship than for the distinction of social position, for which it was originally intended. a connection between marriage regulation and the classificatory system of relationships exists not only among the dravidian races, but also among the north american indians, and certainly among other branches of the human race. rivers says: "the classificatory system in one form or another is spread so widely over the world as to make it probable that it had its origin in some universal stage of social development"; and further he says: "the kind of society which most readily accounts for its chief features is one characterised by a form of marriage in which definite groups of men are the husbands of definite groups of women." rivers does not mean thereby institutions like the _pirauru_, but a permanent group marriage. it may be objected against this latter assumption that permanent (not occasional) sex communism does not necessarily need to be connected with communism of children. it is quite possible that monogamy and child communism may exist side by side, as, _e.g._, among the murray islanders. but even if group marriage did really exist in some places, and if the existence of child communism would prove this, it still cannot be asserted that it is a phase of development through which all human races have passed. for the assumption of a parallel development of all races is untenable. it is true the basic psychic organisation is the same for all human beings, being due to the common descent of mankind. but owing to the continual adaptation to changing environmental conditions, it was not preserved, but underwent different changes. there is no ground for the assumption that, while environmental changes brought about bodily modifications, mental changes did not take place also, therewith leading at the same time to differences in social culture. on the contrary, we must rather assume that together with anthropological variations among the races there also arose variations in social development, the different civilisations resulting from differentiated mental dispositions and deviating more and more from each other. certain elements of the original primitive civilisation have been preserved in the various later developments, but not everywhere the same elements, nor were the differentiations that did take place all of the same degree. certain fundamental conceptions may remain unchanged for long periods, and may produce analogous phenomena in different civilisations. since deviations from monogamy are extremely rare among primitive peoples, the assumption is justified that monogamy is one of the fundamental factors of human civilisation. how could its practically universal occurrence be explained otherwise? there can be no question of convergence, nor has a world-wide transmission of a cultural element that has arisen later been proved up to the present. the opinion, first expressed by l. h. morgan, that the classificatory relationship system is evidence of the existence of group marriage (not merely in the form of _pirauru_ existing at the side of monogamy), is contradicted by the etymological meaning of the terms used by primitive people, which are generally translated by "father," "mother," "grandfather," "brother," "sister," "child," etc. these collective names show nowhere an allusion to procreation, but only to age differences: father and mother are the "elder," the "big ones," the "grown-ups"; the children are the "little ones," the "young ones"; brothers and sisters are the "comrades." we often find that among the australian negroes and the south sea islanders no distinction is made between father and mother. all persons of an older generation of a horde or a totem (or of a phratry respectively) are simply the "elder," the "big ones." if a native wishes to indicate more clearly the sex of a person of an older class, he must add the word "man" or "woman" (or the adjective "male" or "female"). it often happens that grandparents and grandchildren use the same form of address, which in no way refers to descent (cunow). other facts point to the same conclusion. where the _pirauru_ exists in australia, the same form of address is used for persons standing in _pirauru_ relationship to the speaker as for members of the same age class who have no such relationship. this could not be so if the appellation had originated from common sexual relationship. cunow rightly concludes: "sexual communities can be proved to exist here and there among primitive peoples, but the nomenclature of the classificatory relationships has not grown out of such group relationships. these so-called group marriages are rather adventitious growths, playing only a secondary _rôle_ in the history of the family." buschan ( , p. ) looks upon the pre-marital sexual freedom of girls among many primitive peoples (most probably among the majority of them) as a relic of communal marriage from earlier times. he assumes that the girls had promiscuous relationships with the other sex. this, however, is not the case. as a rule, couples meet together for a time, and only rarely does a person have relationship with several persons at the same time. the conditions are essentially the same as in europe, except that amongst "savages" a love affair going as far as intercourse is not considered immoral. the assumption of many authors that man is polygynous is far from being proved, at least not in the sense that the majority of men are inclined to have relationship with several women at the same time. it cannot, however, be disputed that after some time the relationship between two people tends to lose its attraction, often causing a breaking of the marriage vow. there is a custom among many peoples that a man's widow falls to his younger brother (or cousin)--the _levirate_. according to another custom, a man has the right to marry the sisters of his wife. both these customs have been explained as being relics of a form of marriage in which brothers married several sisters or sisters married brothers at the same time (frazer, ii., p. ). but it seems much more likely that we have here before us merely a case of property rights. even if constancy in marriage is not the rule, especially among primitive people, yet we must still regard the permanent living together of one man and one woman as a state that has always prevailed amongst human beings (westermarck). many of the speculations, at first sight so learned, about the apparently intricate paths in the development of marriage, remain merely speculations which cannot stand the test of modern ethnological research. heinrich schurtz (p. ) makes the pertinent remark that nothing excited the hostile camps of the sociological idealists and naturalists more than the dispute about promiscuity in primitive times. while the one party painted with zest the indiscriminate and irregular sex relationship of primitive races, claiming it as an established original stage in human development, the adherents of idealism rose in indignation against a theory that places primitive man far below the level of the higher animals, and that leaves the riddle unsolved how such a chaos could lead to the idea of sexual purity and a spiritualisation of the sexual impulse. in this battle for and against promiscuity even facts were unfortunately too often not respected, attempts being made to disregard them at any cost. this cannot be good for the ultimate victory of truth. facts should not be passed over, but should be taken into full consideration. in this conflict of opinions the institution of _pirauru_ especially has fared particularly badly. some anthropologists wanted to do away with it altogether at any price (for instance, josef müller); others drew conclusions from it that are utterly unjustified. but even if this were not so, even if the _pirauru_ could be used as a proof of previous sexual promiscuity, it still does not follow that it was a general custom in man, for the majority of the peoples show no trace of it. first of all, it must be noticed that even the _pirauru_ possesses various restrictions upon marriage with persons outside certain groups, which alone exclude unrestrained promiscuity. furthermore, individual marriage, the binding force of which is undoubtedly even stronger and closer, is well known to exist beside it. there is a good deal of probability for the assumption of schurtz that marriage regulations establishing the right of several men to one wife may first have arisen from mere friendly acts, or the original sexual licentiousness may have developed occasionally under specially favourable circumstances into the institution of _pirauru_, while at other places such a systematic development did not take place. it is easily to be understood that lower civilisations will show a looser standard of the marriage bond than those where many interests of a rich cultural development require the strengthening of this bond. sexual needs may also have brought about the origin of the _pirauru_ institutions. thus there exist in australia tribes among which the loan of wives was customary owing to the scarcity of women. there is only one step from this state of affairs to the _pirauru_. among many tribes complicated marriage restrictions make a "legitimate" marriage very difficult, and this may easily lead to other sex relationships taking the place of marriage. it is a mistake to assume hastily that customs among primitive people that appear strange to us must therefore be ancient and be relics of a primitive state. every primitive race has a long history behind it, and it is not likely that it has remained static all the time. primitive people are not stationary in development; there is much change among them in the course of generations. this applies also to customs and habits which seem absolutely stable. external conditions may produce new developments, or result in foreign influences. not everything, therefore, that is peculiar to uncivilised races of the present day must be looked upon as primitive. polyandry deserves our special consideration. as a recognised social institution it has so far been definitely established only among the indian peoples and castes, as well as in tibet, on the borders of northern india. in exceptional cases polyandry occurs among the eskimos and the asiatic polar races. the older accounts of polyandry occurring in australia are not confirmed by the new ethnographical literature. the reports about polyandry among the american indians are also incorrect. john roscoe ( , pp. _et seq._) has proved its existence among the bahima and baziba tribes of central africa, though here polyandry is not the rule, but is only practised occasionally. if a man is poor, if he cannot get together the number of cows required for the bride price, or if he is unable to support a wife, he can combine with one or several of his brothers and take a wife in common with them. it is easy to get the women for this purpose. furthermore, among these tribes the housewife may be claimed by a guest, while exchange of wives also occurs. in india polyandry is prevalent among the peoples of the himalayan mountains and among some southern indian tribes. some cases of this curious form of marriage are already mentioned in the ancient indian literature. it may be assumed, therefore, that it was more prevalent formerly than at present. this institution was certainly never very general nor of great importance in the life of the people of india. at the present time it is restricted to a number of comparatively small tribes and castes. two forms of polyandry can be distinguished among them, namely, the fraternal form, where several brothers or cousins have one wife in common, and the matriarchal form, where a woman has several husbands, not necessarily related to each other. in northern india polyandry is general among the tibetans and bhotias of the himalayan border districts. here, when the oldest of several brothers takes a wife, she has the right--but not the duty--to have sexual relationship with the other brothers living in the same household. if a younger brother also marries, the other still younger brothers have the choice in which household they wish to live. the surplus women become nuns. this system is said to be due to the poverty of the country. the himalayan peoples, being intent on preventing the increase of the population and a further reduction of the means of existence, consign many women to celibacy and childlessness. yet at the same time they make it possible, by this system, for the socially privileged man to satisfy his sexual needs. the children of polyandrous marriages belong, as a rule, legally to the oldest brother. but it also occurs that each brother in turn, according to his age, has a child assigned to him regardless of whether the brother concerned was on the spot at the time of the child's conception. sometimes the mother has the right to name the father of each of her children. fraternal polyandry also exists in cashmir and among certain sudra castes of the punjab mountains. in the punjab, however, the rajputs and other castes of that neighbourhood are also influenced by polyandry. the ceremonies which take place at marriage in the punjab bear traces of "marriage by capture." the dwellings of the polyandrous castes of this district consist of two rooms, one for the woman and one for the group of brothers. in tibet, as also among the polyandrous southern indians, they have, however, mostly one room. the surplus women in the punjab become objects of commerce. in the native state of bashar, for instance, an active export trade is carried on with the surplus women, for whom sums up to rupees are given. among the dyats in the punjab, the gudyars in the united provinces, as among all the hindu castes in the mountain districts of ambala, polyandry existed until lately; but it is said not to do so there any longer. in ambala not only brothers, but also first cousins, were considered to be husbands of the oldest brother's wife. further, in east india the santal caste ( , , persons in bengal, bihar and orissa) is the only community among which a similar custom exists. among the santals not only have the younger brothers access to the wife of the older brother, but the husband also may have relations with the younger sisters of his wife. this state of affairs may perhaps be looked upon as sexual communism among a small group. in ladakh, too, and in other places of cashmir, the wife common to several brothers may bring with her her sister into the marriage as co-partner. in the punjab the fraternal husbands may also marry a second and third wife. among indian migratory labourers it seems to have been formerly the rule that the brother remaining at home served as a conjugal substitute for the husband temporarily absent. nowadays this custom has almost disappeared. in southern india polyandry is a recognised institution among the toda and kurumba of the nilgiri mountains, as also among a number of the lower castes, especially on the coast of malabar. here polyandry and polygyny occasionally co-exist side by side. the polyandry among the toda has been described in detail by w. h. r. rivers. the whole tribe is divided into two endogamous groups, which, again, are split up into a number of exogamous sub-groups. the husbands shared in common by a woman are in most cases brothers; they are rarely other members of the same exogamous group and of the same age class. when the husbands are brothers, there never ensue any quarrels about access to the wife. all the brothers are reckoned as fathers of a child. yet it often occurs that a toda only calls one man his father. it is exclusively external circumstances that are here decisive; often one of the fathers is more influential and more respected than his brothers, and naturally the sons prefer to speak of him as their father. if only one of the fathers is alive, the offspring always describe him as their father. if the husbands are not real brothers, they live, like these, in one household, but the children are allotted to single definite fathers. that man is considered the father of a child who in the seventh month of the mother's pregnancy has gone with her through the ceremony of the presentation of bow and arrow (which is also customary in fraternal polyandry). the husbands may take turns in the practice of this ceremony at every pregnancy; it results, therefore, frequently that the first two or three children belong to one and the same man, the other husbands acquiring formal father-right only at the later births. if the husbands separate and give up the common household, each one takes with him the children belonging to him by right of the bow-and-arrow ceremony. as everywhere else in india, polyandry has fallen into decay among the toda. it may happen that several men have in common several wives, or that of a group of brothers each has his own wife. but polyandry has remained up to the present time the prevalent form of marriage among these hill-folk. the surplus girls used formerly to be killed without exception; and it is certain, says rivers, that girl infanticide is still practised to some extent, although the toda themselves deny this. it must be noted that child marriage exists among the toda. matriarchal polyandry, which, in contradistinction to fraternal polyandry, goes with descent through the mother, still occurs among the munduvars of the travancore plateaus, the nayars in some parts of travancore and cochin, the western kallan, and also among some other southern indian communities. among numerous other races having mother descent, but not among all, relics of the former existence of matriarchal polyandry have been established. the secular authorities, and no less the european missions, are trying hard to exterminate this form of marriage. it is difficult to trace any connection between the polyandry in the north and that in the south of india. it is most probable that this custom was carried into southern india by the tibetan conquerors in ancient times. many southern indian polyandrous races, like the toda and the nayar, are distinguished from their real dravidian neighbours by their more powerful build, lighter colouring, higher noses, etc. furthermore, the architecture of the malabar temples bears traces of tibetan influence. the demon masks carved thereon show almost the same faces as the tibetan masks. among the kallan the tradition of northern descent has been preserved up to the present time, and they bury their dead with their faces turned towards the north. exogamy is the custom which forbids the choice of partners for marriage within a certain group, and which has the effect of preventing near relations from sexual intercourse. it is found very frequently among primitive people, and is very prevalent, as sir j. g. frazer shows in his book "totemism and exogamy." this, however, does in no way justify the assumption that it was a general stage of civilisation of all mankind, and that it once existed even in those places where it is not found to-day. although european travellers, colonists and scientists had long been in contact with coloured races, it was the scotsman j. f. mclennan who first discovered the existence of exogamy. he was led to this discovery by the study of that peculiar marriage custom which consists in the pretence of forcible bride capture, though the marriage of the couple concerned has been agreed to by both families beforehand. mclennan tried to find an explanation for this custom, and came to the conclusion that capture of women, which only took place in pretence, must once have been practised in reality to a large extent. in searching for facts confirmatory of this assumption, he was struck by the fact that among savage and barbarous people the men married women not of their own, but of another, tribal group. he described this as "exogamy," in contradistinction to "endogamy," by which marriage partners are restricted in their choice to their own group. in a tribe or other social group both sexual arrangements may exist side by side, in such a manner that the tribe is closely endogamous and is divided into several exogamous groups. the theory put forward by mclennan as an explanation of the origin of exogamy is very simple and on superficial examination very convincing. he assumed that exogamy arose from a scarcity of women, which forced men to obtain wives by capture from other groups and thus gradually led to a general preference for strange women. the cause of this assumed scarcity of women was considered to be the infanticide of new-born females, which was carried on systematically, for savage people foresaw that in the struggle for existence it would be a hindrance to have a great number of women, who could take no share in the battle with enemies, and who presumably would contribute less to the food supply than the men. h. cunow also traces back the origin of exogamy to the scarcity of women and wife capture. he starts from the assumption that among the australian and other uncivilised races the number of persons in a horde is very limited. "if one assumes that the number of members of a horde is sixty, the youngest class would contain, according to present-day reckoning, about twenty-five persons, the middle class twenty, and the oldest class about fifteen persons. in the middle class there would, therefore, be only about ten women. among these a young man entering the middle class would often not find a single woman that he could take for his wife, for, after pairing marriage had become general, the few existing women had already found a spouse; they had already been disposed of. there was nothing left for the young man but to capture a woman from a strange horde as soon as possible, or to try to persuade a comrade of the same age class to let him share in his marriage relationship on the understanding that his hunting bag would contribute towards the 'household of the three.' this multiple conjugal partnership is customary among most of the australian tribes even to-day." to this it must be added that the man needs to show much less consideration for a captured strange woman than for one of his own tribe, who would run away if badly treated. nor can the young man remain single, for he himself would then have to drag his property about, which would hinder him in the hunt and expose him to the ridicule of his companions. (in reality there are many unmarried men even in australia.) the search for wives led ultimately, according to cunow, to wife capture and exogamy. infanticide, which mclennan assumes, is at present a rare exception among primitive people. almost all explorers praise their great love for children, and even malformed children are not always killed. even where infanticide does occur, the sex of the child is certainly not the factor that decides whether it is to be killed or not. the assumption that scarcity of women is brought about by girl infanticide is not correct. the female sex is, indeed, in the minority among uncivilised natives where they have been counted; but the excess of men is only small. mutual capture of women could not alter this disparity, for it is unlikely that some tribes permitted the capture of their women without retaliation. besides, even among primitive people men are careful in risking their lives. capture of women is, therefore, nowhere the rule, but is everywhere the exception. had it been the rule anywhere, the continuous fighting would have led to the extermination of the tribes in question. frazer is right when he says: "if women are scarce in a group, many men will prefer to remain single rather than expose themselves to the danger of death by trying to capture women from their neighbours." this is what really happened among many tribes of the australian natives who lived on a friendly footing with each other. it even happens that the old men who claim the women expressly forbid the young men to steal women from other tribes, because that will lead to bloodshed. further, scarcity of women is most likely overcome, as previously mentioned, by several men's sharing one wife, which arrangement, unlike the capture of women, avoids arousing the hostility of neighbours. among peaceable tribes, therefore, a numerical preponderance of men results not in exogamy, but in polyandry. but admitting that a warlike tribe has not sufficient women and therefore captures them from their neighbours, it is still unexplainable why the men should altogether avoid sexual relationship with their own women, few as they are, and have no desire for them whatsoever. this will certainly not be the result; on the contrary, the few women obtainable without force will be all the more in demand. frazer thinks that the origin of exogamy has been rightly explained by the american ethnologist l. h. morgan, who for many years lived among the exogamic indians as one of them, and thus came into direct contact with exogamy. morgan assumed that sexual promiscuity was general at a very early period in the history of mankind, and that exogamy was instituted for the deliberate purpose of preventing cohabitation between blood relations, particularly between brothers and sisters, as was previously customary. this struck promiscuity at the root; it removed its worst peculiarity, and resulted at the same time in a powerful movement towards the establishment of sexual monogamy. frazer, in supporting morgan's theory, relies exclusively on the australian natives, who, according to him, though extremely primitive savages, "carry out the principle of exogamy with a practical astuteness, logical thoroughness, and precision such as no other race shows in its marriage system." frazer finds that the effects of the australian marriage class system are in complete harmony with the deeply rooted convictions and feelings of the natives as regards sexual intercourse, and concludes that the successive tribal subdivisions have been brought about deliberately in order to avoid marriage of blood relations. according to him, it is not going too far to assert that "no other human institution bears the stamp of deliberate purpose more clearly than the exogamous classes of the australians. to assume that they serve only accidentally the purpose that they actually fulfil, and which is approved by them unreservedly, would be to test our credulity nearly as much as if we were told that the complicated mechanism of a watch has originated without human design." nearly all australian tribes have the system of division into marriage classes. every tribe consists of two main groups (called in ethnographical literature phratries or moieties), and each of these groups is again divided into two, four, or eight classes. sometimes the phratries and classes have special names, but not always. in the latter case it may be assumed that the names have been lost, while the division of the tribes into marriage groups remains. these groups are strictly exogamous. in no case are the members of the main group of the tribe (phratry) or of the same class allowed to marry each other. only members of two given classes may marry, and their children are again assigned to given classes. among some of the tribes there exists paternal descent, among others maternal descent. which of the two modes of descent prevails in australia can hardly be determined. among some tribes property is inherited in the female line. other rights of the female sex connected with mother descent are unknown. an example of the australian marriage classes is given here, namely, that of the tribe warrai, who live on the railway line running from port darwin to the south. among this tribe indirect paternal descent is the custom; _i.e._, the children belong to the main group (phratry) of the father, but to other marriage classes. phratry i. | phratry ii. --------------+---------------- adshumbitch | apungerti *aldshambitch | *alpungerti --------------+---------------- apularan | auinmitch *alpularan | *alinmitch the female marriage classes are marked with an asterisk. each member of a certain male marriage class may only marry a member of a marriage class of the other phratry, placed opposite in the table. thus, for instance, an adshumbitch man marries an alpungerti woman, an apungerti man an aldshambitch woman, etc. the children always belong to the phratry of the men, but to another marriage group of theirs. thus, for instance, the boys born from the union of an adshumbitch man with an apungerti woman belong to the apularan class, and the girls born of this marriage belong to the alpularan class. further complications arise in consequence of the totem system, which exists among most of the australian tribes. as the local groups of a tribe are numerically weak and consist of members of all marriage classes, the choice of mates is restricted to quite a small number of persons, being further limited to a great extent by the marriage of girls in childhood. but even when adults marry, they can rarely decide according to their own will, but are dependent on the circumstances of relationship. on the northern coast of australia the marriage class system does not exist, but exogamy exists there, the members of certain local groups not being allowed to marry each other. the now extinct tribes in the south-east of the continent also had no marriage class system. but it still remains a mystery how it was found out that marriages of blood relations were harmful. one objection is, that some of the australians are ignorant of the process of generation; they do not even know that pregnancy is the result of cohabitation. it is also doubtful whether the australian natives can in any case be considered as typical representatives of primitive man. if this were so, all mankind would still be in a very low state of civilisation, for the australians appear incapable of progressive development. and further, if exogamous classes were purposely instituted in order to prevent cohabitation between blood relations, how is it that other people also are excluded from sexual intercourse who are not blood relations? frazer's comparison with a watch is also badly chosen. we must take into consideration the intellectual stage of development of mankind at the time when exogamy arose, and when the watch was invented. even if we do not admit that exogamy was instituted with a conscious purpose, this does not by any means, as frazer says, do away altogether with will and purpose from the history of human institutions. there is no need to doubt that the australian system of exogamy became more and more complicated through the deliberate action of man. frazer himself assumes that the australians had an aversion to cohabitation between brothers and sisters even before it was definitely fixed by binding rules. sexual aversion between parents and children, according to him, is universal among them, whether there be in vogue the two-, four- or eight-classes system, _i.e._, whether incest between parents and children is expressly forbidden or not. "in democratic societies like those of the australian natives, the law sanctions only thoughts that have already been long the mental possession of the majority of people." hence the agreement of the marriage class system with the feelings of the people becomes explainable. since the aversion to sexual intercourse within certain classes was already in existence before the formation of marriage classes, the classificatory system being merely the formal expression of it, we have to find some explanation for it. for the appearance of this aversion marks the real beginning of exogamy, which cannot be explained by the complicated system of the australians. it is possible that the sexual aversion towards blood relations is already a characteristic trait of the human race before its truly human development, and that it may have to be looked upon as an instinct. this is the opinion of f. hellwald, which has also been upheld of late by a. e. crawley. it is assumed that among brothers and sisters, as among boys and girls who have lived together from childhood, the pairing instinct generally remains in abeyance, because the conditions are wanting that are likely to awaken this instinct. courting the favour of a person of the other sex is the process that gradually brings about the sexual excitement necessary for union. the possibility of sexual excitation between people who have lived together from childhood is decidedly lessened through habituation, if not completely inhibited. in this respect brothers and sisters reach already at puberty that state towards each other to which people married for a long time approach gradually, through the constant living together and the exhaustion of youthful passion. if brother and sister sometimes show passion for each other, it is generally the result of the same circumstances that are necessary to arouse it under normal conditions, _e.g._, a long separation. as the absence of sexual attraction between brother and sister who have grown up together is a natural thing, it is strange that cohabitation between them should have to be specially prohibited and enforced by strict measures among primitive peoples. the explanation, according to crawley, is simple. "in many departments of primitive life we find a naïve desire to, as it were, assist nature, to affirm what is normal and later to confirm it by the categorical imperative of custom and law. this tendency still flourishes in our civilised communities, and, as the worship of the normal, is often a deadly foe to the abnormal and eccentric, and too often paralyses originality. laws thus made, and with this object, have some justification, and their existence may be due, in some small measure, to the fact that abnormality increases _pari passu_ with culture. but it is a grave error to ascribe a prevalence of incest to the period preceding the law against it." all the facts tend to show that the most primitive people procured their wives by friendly arrangements. from this standpoint it would be most practical if each tribe were divided into two groups, the men of each group marrying wives from the other group. this state of affairs is actually to be found among many uncivilised peoples that are divided into two exogamous groups or phratries. it has still to be discovered how this bipartition arose. it is unthinkable that a division into two groups was intentionally brought about by the members of the groups for the purpose of preventing marriages between blood relations of a certain grade. no tribe has ever been divided in such a manner; the division must therefore be explainable in another way. the phratries are large families (in the broad sense of the word); they descend from families (in the narrower sense of the word), reciprocally supplying each other with wives. the names of the phratries are generally unintelligible, in contradistinction to the names of the totem groups, and therefore most probably older. the totem groups, of which a phratry consists, are to be considered as younger branches of the original double family, which have arisen through wives being taken from other groups whose children again received the name of their mothers. if it should be asked why the members of two phratries should constantly intermarry, it should be pointed out that among communities in the lowest stage of civilisation women are not easily procurable, and the force of external circumstances would favour the unions just mentioned (crawley, pp. _et seq._). a biological explanation of the origin of exogamy is given by herbert risley. without basing it on the assumption that primitive people have a knowledge of the harmfulness of incest, he gives the following exposition: "exogamy can be brought under the law of natural selection without extending it too far. we know that among individuals or groups of individuals there exists a tendency to vary in their instincts, and that useful variations (such as are suitable to the conditions of life) tend to be preserved and transmitted by inheritance. let us assume now that in a primitive community the men varied in the direction towards choosing wives from another community, and that this infusion of fresh blood was advantageous. the original instinct would then be strengthened by inheritance, and sexual selection would be added in the course of time. for an exogamous group would have a greater choice of women than an endogamous one, ... and in the competition for women the best would fall to the strongest and most warlike men. in this way the strengthened exogamous groups would in time exterminate the endogamous neighbours, or at least take away their best marriageable maidens. exogamy would spread partly through imitation, partly through the extermination of endogamous groups. the fact that we cannot explain how it came about that the people varied in the aforesaid direction is not fatal to this hypothesis. we do not doubt natural selection in the case of animals because we cannot give the exact cause of a favourable variation." e. westermarck holds a similar theory about the cessation of incest. he thinks that "among the ancestors of man, as among other animals, there was, no doubt, a time when blood relationship was no bar to sexual intercourse. but variations here, as elsewhere, would naturally present themselves; and those of our ancestors who avoided in-and-in breeding would survive, while the others would gradually decay and ultimately perish. thus an instinct would be developed which would be powerful enough, as a rule, to prevent injurious unions. of course it would display itself simply as an aversion on the part of individuals to union with others with whom they lived; but these, as a matter of fact, would be blood relations, so that the result would be the survival of the fittest. whether man inherited the feeling from the predecessors from whom he sprang, or whether it was developed after the evolution of distinctly human qualities, we do not know. it must necessarily have arisen at a stage when family ties became comparatively strong, and children remained with their parents until the age of puberty or even longer." it may be surmised that the impulse towards the appearance of the exogamous tendency arose through economic progress, which led to an increase of the means of existence, and this in its turn produced a more friendly relationship between neighbouring groups that previously had quarrelled about food. the men thus came into contact with strange women, and this awakened a heightened sexual feeling, in other words the instinct which is said to have led to the avoidance of incest. thus among the peoples on a very low economic level (_e.g._, the pigmies) no laws for the prevention of incest are to be found, a fact that may be held to confirm this idea. primitive people could in any case not understand the harmfulness of incest, while it is certain that strange members of the opposite sex could exert a stronger attraction, and thus render the sexual impulse permanent, which previously was periodical, as among the animals. v birth and feticide the slow increase in the population of primitive peoples, which is also to be noticed wherever the conditions of life have not been influenced by european settlers and missionaries, is chiefly due to the want of proper midwifery, and no less to the frequent practice of abortion. the opinion is often met with, particularly in older writings, that among primitive people childbirth is extremely easy. but more extended knowledge has shown how dangerous childbirth is for the primitive mother also. though childbirth is a natural physiological process, it does not always pass off quite without danger, no less under natural conditions than among highly civilised peoples. primitive people know full well that the hour of childbirth is the hardest time in a woman's life, but not all have progressed far enough in the knowledge of physiology to be able to render efficient assistance to the woman in labour. some people leave her, incredible as it may seem to us, without any assistance, either through indifference to life or through a superstitious fear of the mystery of life. such cases are, however, very rare exceptions. sometimes means are used for furthering the birth that are not only inefficacious, but actually injurious. often, however, delivery is actually furthered by the assistance given. internal manipulation is seldom resorted to, and operations are still more rare. r. w. felkin's report about the operation of cæsarian section among the negroes in uganda seems to be unique. ploss and bartels have compiled a great deal of information about childbirth among primitive people. we add here some examples from the later literature. feticide occurs most likely among all primitive peoples to a larger or lesser degree, and injures them accordingly. the reasons are the same as with us: inability to support a large number of children or aversion to the worries of child-rearing. unmarried girls procure abortion usually because the child might be a hindrance to a future marriage, particularly when the father of the expected child jilts the mother. still pre-marital births are not always considered a disgrace among primitive people. the abortives resorted to are generally inefficacious, though some native peoples have discovered really effective remedies. külz (p. ) says quite rightly, "it is to be assumed that woman everywhere, even in a low state of civilisation, has her attention directed to the occurrence of involuntary premature birth by often recurring effective causes. such external causes are not very remote from the mechanically and medically produced abortions. we only need to think of the fact that among all primitive peoples the chief work in the fields falls to the women, and that it is just heavy labour that has the tendency to interrupt pregnancy. it required only some little thought to discover this frequently observed coincidence and to learn from the involuntary interruption of pregnancy how to produce it voluntarily.... in the same way the production of abortions by poisons can easily be derived from a rational application of chance remedies producing corresponding involuntary effects.... just as primitive man discovered many medicinal plants by repeatedly partaking of them, so he also found out the specific use of some of these for feticide. this could happen the more readily as among abortive remedies in use there were many that in a way served him as food and condiment, such as nutmeg, or the papaia kernels, or others that he used at the same time for poisoning fish, or others, again, like the aperient _cajanus indicus_, which in moderate doses acts medicinally, in large doses, however, as an abortive." the use of poisons and mechanical feticide not only brings about limitation of offspring, but often results in the death of the mother. where they are very prevalent they contribute greatly to the scarcity of women, with all its attendant biological disadvantages. the contact of primitive people with europeans generally increases the frequency of abortions. this is due partly to the desire for hiding the results of sexual intercourse with strangers, partly to the incitement to loose living which the acquaintance with european culture sometimes brings about. how defective the state of midwifery is among primitive people is shown by many accounts in newer works of ethnology. thus the missionary endle writes (p. ): "the native tribes of assam and burma have no special midwives. every old woman may perform the duties of a midwife, and she does it without payment. there is no information about the treatment of the woman during parturition. the navel cord is generally cut off with a bamboo knife. the katshári do not perform this with one cut, but make five cuts in the case of a boy and seven for a girl. the mother is considered unclean for several weeks after her confinement. this is also the case among many races of southern and eastern asia, and in other parts of the world. isolation even before the confinement sometimes occurs, and is due to the belief that women in this state are unclean." among the savage tribes of formosa the birth of a child passes off so lightly that the lying-in woman is able to go on with her work on the following day. she only avoids heavy labour in the field for a month. after the birth certain superstitious ceremonies, according to old customs, are performed, such as driving away the devil, etc. among many tribes twins are held to be a misfortune, and the second child is therefore killed. this also occurs frequently in other places (w. müller, p. ). among the igorots of bontoc (philippines) the woman works in the field almost to the hour of her confinement. there are no festivities or ceremonies connected with the birth. the father of the child, if he is the husband of the woman, is present, as is also the woman's mother, but no one else. the parturient woman bends her body strongly forward, holding firmly on to the beam of the house, or she takes up an animal-like position, so that hands and feet are on the ground. medicines and baths are not resorted to for hastening the labour pains, but the people present massage the abdomen of the labouring woman. about ten days after the birth her body is washed with warm water. there is no special diet, but the mother refrains from field work for two or three months. if twins are born, it is believed to be due to an evil spirit who has had connection with the woman whilst she was asleep. no blame is attached to the mother, but the quieter of the children (and when both children are quiet, the longer one) is buried alive near the house immediately after birth. abortion is practised by married women as well as by single girls, if for some reason the child is not wanted. the mother warns her unmarried daughter against abortion, telling her that a girl who produces abortion will not get a faithful husband, but will become the common partner of several men. the foetus is driven off in the second month of pregnancy by hot baths and massage. abortion is not considered a disgrace (jenks). among the kayan of borneo there are everywhere older women who serve as midwives. one of them is called in good time to the pregnant woman. she examines her abdomen from time to time, and pretends to be able to give the child the right position. she hangs some magical remedies about the living room, and applies various remedies externally. the pregnant woman follows her usual occupation until the labour pains commence. then the midwife and other old relatives or friends assist her. the husband may also remain in the room, but he is prevented by a screen from seeing the parturient woman, who gets hold tightly of a cloth hung over or in front of her. the pains are generally of short duration, rarely lasting more than two or three hours. in order to prevent the rising of the child, the women bind a cloth tightly round the abdomen of the parturient woman, and two of them press firmly on the womb on either side. after the delivery of the child the navel cord is cut with a bamboo knife. if the after-birth does not follow soon, the women become anxious; two of them lift up the patient, and if that has no result, the navel cord is fastened to an axe in order to prevent it from re-entering the body, and presumably also to hasten the delivery of the after-birth. internal manipulations are not resorted to. the after-birth is buried. if the child is born with a caul, the caul is dried, pounded into powder, and used in later years as medicine for the child. if the labour pains are exceptionally severe or long-lasting, or if an accident happens, the news travels rapidly. everybody is overcome by fear, as the death of a parturient woman is particularly dreaded. the men and the boys take flight. if death actually ensues, most of the men remain in hiding for some time, and the corpse is quickly buried by old men and women who are least afraid of death. the pregnant women of the punan of borneo continue with their usual work until the arrival of labour pains, and they resume it immediately after the confinement. to assist delivery the body is tightly bound above the womb. nothing further is known about special help (hose and mcdougall, ii., pp. , ). the papua women are said to give birth easily, as a rule, but difficult deliveries and fatal cases do occur exceptionally. the custom exists in various places for the mother to throw the after-birth into the river or the sea after confinement (williamson, p. ; seligmann, p. ). of the mafulu williamson says that when the after-birth is thrown into the river the mother gives the new-born child some water to drink. if the child partakes of it, it is considered a good omen; otherwise the child is believed not to be viable and is drowned. williamson thinks that the purpose of this custom is to enable the mother to choose whether she wishes to keep the child alive or not. it also may happen that a childless woman accompanies the mother to the river and there adopts the child. wilful abortion also occurs very often, not only in single girls, but also in married women, who thus keep their families small. among the barriai in new pomerania the woman is confined whilst sitting on a log of wood, being massaged from above downwards by an older woman. the husband is not allowed to be present. the birth generally passes off quite easily. the navel cord is cut off with an obsidian knife. the parents may not eat pork and certain kinds of fish until the child has begun to walk. disregard of this prohibition is believed to bring about the death of the child. the parents abstain also during this time from sexual intercourse. abortives do not seem to be known, though miscarriages sometimes occur through the rough treatment of pregnant women by men (friederici, p. ). in polynesia abortion is generally produced by women professionally. this is brought about by the use of certain foods or drinks, by the application of mechanical means, etc. how widespread feticide is in melanesia can be seen from a statement of parkinson, according to whom in new mecklenburg quite young girls make no secret of having produced abortion three or four times. among the jabim (finschhafen) the mothers present their daughters with abortives when they get married (buschan, i., p. ). on the eastern islands of the torres straits (australia) the women chew as a prevention of pregnancy the leaves of callicarpa, or of a eugenia species called _sobe_, also the leaves of a large shrub called _bok_; but these remedies are inefficacious. medicines and mechanical methods are used for abortion. among the former are the leaves of the convolvulus, of clerodendron, _pouzolzia microphylla_, _macaranga tanarius_, _terminala catappa_, eugenia, _hibiscus tiliaceus_, and callicarpa. if these do not help, the abdomen is beaten with large stones, with a rope or twigs or a wand, or a heavy load is put on it. sometimes the woman leans with her back against a tree, and two men grasp a wand and press it against her abdomen, so as to bring about the delivery of the foetus. this often results in the death of the mother. on the easter island, in the eastern pacific ocean, there were several men with a knowledge of midwifery, but recently only one of them has survived. nowadays older women act as midwives. walter knoche writes ( , pp. _et seq._): "the birth takes place either in the open or in the house, the woman standing with legs spread out, or recently in a sitting position. the accoucheur stands behind the parturient woman, embracing her abdomen. the thumbs are spread out, and touch each other in a horizontal position somewhat above the navel, while the remainder of the hand is turned diagonally downwards. in this way massage is applied by a slow, rhythmical, strong and kneading movement vertically from above downwards. when the birth is sufficiently advanced, the child is drawn out; the assistant bites off the navel cord (among some brazilian indian tribes the husband does this, but on the easter island he takes no part in the delivery); then a knot is made a few centimetres from the navel. the after-birth is not specially dealt with; it is buried. the navel cord, however, is placed in a calabash, which is buried or put under a rock. after the event the lying-in woman lies down upon a mat in the house, and warm, flat, fairly heavy stones are applied to the abdomen. perhaps this is the reason why even women who have had difficult confinements still preserve a good figure. the infant remains at the mother's breast for about a year." knoche also heard that the women sometimes pass a piece of an alga into the vulva right up to the womb before intercourse with a stranger, believing this method to be a very safe one. it could, unfortunately, not be ascertained whether this precaution was formerly, as seems likely, resorted to generally in order to limit the number of children, or whether its use was only intended to keep the tribe untainted by foreign blood. the latter assumption is contradicted by the fact that "the easter island women have children from strangers living for some time on the easter island, and that nowadays the use of contraceptives in the case of strangers who come and go quickly may simply be due to the circumstance that at the birth of a child there would be no man to support it. it is most probable that the use of preventives had its origin in malthusian principles. the little island, whose population has been variously estimated by travellers of the eighteenth and the first half of the nineteenth century at a few thousand, must herewith have reached its maximum number of inhabitants, which could of necessity not be exceeded. deaths and births had therefore to balance. this employment of contraceptives in polynesia is unique, and it may be truly reckoned as a sign of a higher civilisation, together with other facts, such as the existence of a script, of stone houses and of large stone idols, the moai, which have made this lonely little island so famous. on the other oceanic islands, as, for instance, on the westward-situated tahiti, infanticide, committed by the mother as many as ten times in succession, served to limit the number of children, either on account of economy or for reasons of convenience. contraceptives are otherwise unknown in oceania." of the jao in east africa karl weule relates (p. ): "during the delivery the parturient woman lies upon her back on a mat on the floor of the hut. the older children and the husband are not allowed to be present, but a number of older women are there, amongst whom there is always a near relative of the husband, who takes special note of any evidence of extra-marital intercourse given by the parturient woman. it is the chief business of the midwives to submit the woman to a very strict _questionnaire_: 'how many men have you had, three, or four, or even more? your child will not come until you have mentioned the right father. yes, you will die, if you do not tell us how many men you have had.' such speeches are hurled at the woman from all sides. no mechanical help is given her. she rolls about in pain, under great bodily and mental torture, and shrieks and cries until all is over. the navel cord is cut off by an old woman. ancient instruments, such as are used by the east african bantu tribes, are unknown among the jao. the cutting of the navel cord seems to be performed clumsily, for umbilical rupture, which has become an ideal of beauty in many places in eastern africa, is here frequent. the after-birth and the navel cord are buried, if possible without a witness. they are considered effective magical remedies. the new-born child is washed and then wrapped in a cloth or a piece of bark fabric. a real lying-in is not kept up; the mother gets up again the same or the following day. sex intercourse can only be resumed again with the permission of the village elder. it is only given when the child can sit up, or when it is six or seven months old. children are welcome; twins are no less joyfully received. but infanticide is said to occur. if, however, children are not wanted, married women as well as girls resort to abortion. plant juices are generally used for this purpose, though sometimes mechanical means are resorted to. abortion is in no way considered reprehensible. in order to prevent conception, the woman puts herself into communication with a _fundi_, who understands something of making knots. the _fundi_ goes into the wood, seeks out two different barks, and twists them together into a cord. into the cord he rubs the yolk of an egg, for to the jao the curse of infertility abides in the egg. he knots into the cord three knots, saying at the same time, 'you tree are called thus and thus, and you thus; but you egg, you become a living animal. but now i do not want anything living.' he then twists the final knot. this cord is worn by the woman round her body. boots are also placed under her head at night to prevent conception. if the woman wishes to become pregnant again, she needs only to untie the knots in the cord, to put it into water, and then drink the water. afterwards the cord is thrown away." among the makua, on the makonda plateau in east africa, at the first sign of labour pains the woman lies down upon her back on a mat in the house. a cloth is put under her back by the helping women, which is drawn tightly and pulled up when the pains become stronger. after the birth the navel cord is cut, not with a knife, but with a splinter from a millet stalk. here, as in other phases in the life of man, an ancient implement has survived for sacred purposes long after the period of its common use. the navel cord is not tied, but dries off. the removed part is buried. the lying-in woman remains at home three or four days. among the masai an old woman is always called in as midwife. if the birth goes on normally, no superstitious or useless operations are undertaken (merker, pp. _et seq._). should an increase of labour pains appear necessary, the parturient woman is led round by the women for a few steps, and if this does not produce the desired result light massage is applied. only when these remedies prove to be inefficacious an extreme step is taken: the labouring woman is slowly lifted up by her feet by several women until her body hangs perpendicularly and her head touches the ground, whereupon the midwife massages the body in the direction of the navel. medicaments are seldom used for hastening the delivery. internal manual or operative manipulations do not seem to be practised anywhere. in the case of a narrow pelvis preventing birth, no help is available; mother and child perish. the confinement takes place on all fours or in a sitting position; in the latter case the legs and the back are pressed against the posts of the hut. for the production of abortion a decoction of dried goat dung or of _cordia quarensis_ or some other remedy is used. of the hottentots it has sometimes been reported that the women have easy births. according to schulze's inquiries (p. ), this is not always the case. the birth takes place in the side position. during very difficult births the women attempt to widen the vulva of the parturient woman. if that does not help, the perineum is deliberately torn up to the anus. no attempt is made to cure the perineal tear, for the belief exists that it would hinder the passage of the next child. all manipulations are carried out beneath the skin rug under which the woman lies. the navel cord is cut without delay; no one troubles about the delivery of the after-birth. the woman resumes her occupation generally on the seventh or eighth day. feticide is not unusual among the hottentots. a hot decoction of badger urine, drunk, if necessary, for several days in succession, is considered an effective abortive remedy. the procedure itself is characteristically called "drinking and falling" (schulze, p. ). among the uti-krag indians of the rio doce (espirito santo, brazil) the woman goes through the labour alone. she disappears in the bush, and herself bites off the navel cord; after the delivery she goes to the nearest stream to wash herself and the child, and rejoins her tribe immediately (walter knoche, , p. ). among the indians of the aiary, when a woman is taken with labour pains all the men leave their house, which is common to several families. the woman lies in her hammock in her part of the house, which is securely closed by a lattice railing. all the women remain with her and help at the birth. the navel cord and after-birth are buried immediately on the spot. after the birth the mother and the child remain strictly secluded for five days. the husband remains in the house during the lying-in period, but there is no real _couvade_ (the male lying-in custom). the women of the kobéua indians give birth in the common family house, or in an outlying hut, or even in the wood, with the assistance of all married women, who first paint their faces red for the festive occasion. the navel cord is cut off by the husband's mother with a blade of scleria grass, and is immediately buried, together with the after-birth. of twins the second born is killed, or the female if they are of different sexes. after the birth, the witch doctor performs exorcism. the parents keep up a five days' lying-in, and eight days after the birth a drinking feast is held (koch-grünberg, i., p. ; ii., p. ). among the bakairi of brazil, according to karl von den steinen (p. ), abortion is said to occur frequently. the women are afraid of the confinement. they prepare for it by drinking tea, and mechanical measures are also resorted to. the women are delivered on the floor in a kneeling position, holding firmly to a post. the hammocks must not be soiled. women who have had experience declared with emphasis, and showed by pantomime, that the pains were great. but they soon get up and go to work, the husband going through the famous _couvade_ (the man's lying-in), keeping strict diet, not touching his weapons and passing the greatest part of his time in his hammock. he only leaves the house to satisfy his physical needs, and lives completely on a thin _pogu_, manioc cake crumbled into water. there exists the belief that anything else might injure the child, as if the child itself ate meat, fish or fruit. the _couvade_ only ends when the remainder of the navel cord falls off. among the bororo, according to the same author (p. ), the woman is delivered in the wood. the father cuts the navel cord with a bamboo splinter, and ties it with a thread. for two days the parents do not eat anything, and on the third day they may only partake of some warm water. if the man were to eat he and the child would become ill. the after-birth is buried in the wood. the woman is not allowed to bathe until the reappearance of menstruation; but then, as generally after menstruation, she does it frequently. abortion by the help of internal means is said to be frequent, especially among the ranchao women. if the mother wishes to stop suckling, they squeeze the breasts out, and "dry the milk over the fire, whereupon it keeps away." medicine for sick children, which the chemist had prepared, was swallowed by the parents, as among the bakairi. among the paressi the woman is confined in a kneeling position, being held by her mother under her breast. the _couvade_ is also customary among them. vi ignorance of the process of generation the mentality of the different branches of mankind varies a great deal. a good example of this is the fact that there are peoples who do not know the connection between cohabitation and conception. there are other tribes, again, who, as we have reason to assume, did not possess this knowledge previously. in fact, ferdinand von reitzenstein thinks that there was a time when the connection between cohabitation and pregnancy was unknown to all mankind, and he adduces examples which show that traces of such a state are to be found in the legends and customs of many peoples. and, says von reitzenstein, we need hardly be surprised at this ignorance of the generative process when we consider that "it is only since the days of swammerdam, who died in , that we know that both egg and spermatozoon have to come together for fertilisation, and only since du barry ( ) that we know that the spermatozoon must penetrate the egg." the belief in supernatural conception has been preserved, not only in the christian churches, but also in the myths of the gods in most religions. originally man could not conclude from the mere appearance of a pregnant woman that the cohabitation which had occurred months ago was the cause of her condition. primitive people do not bring into causal connection phenomena separated by wide intervals. von reitzenstein writes that primitive people, who generally marry their girls before the advent of puberty, must have been turned aside from seeing the connection between cohabitation and pregnancy because these girls had no children at first in spite of having sexual intercourse. but to this it may be objected that even the lowest races must have noticed that pregnancy only occurs after the advent of the first menstruation. the appearance and abeyance of menstruation must have formed a step towards the understanding of the generative process. it is otherwise with von reitzenstein's objection that by far the largest number of cohabitations do not lead to pregnancy. even among comparatively enlightened races this observation led to the assumption that some additional supernatural process is necessary for fertilisation. among the australians, the least developed race of man, the necessity of cohabitation for pregnancy is totally unknown. baldwin spencer and frank j. gillen have shown ( , pp. _et seq._; , pp. , ) that among the natives of northern and central australia there exists the general belief that the children penetrate into the woman as minute spirits. these spirits are said to come from persons that have lived once before and are reborn in this manner. the belief in rebirth, together with the ignorance of the generative process, is very widespread in australia, _e.g._, among many tribes in queensland, in southern australia, in the northern territory and in western australia. it is now too late to get reliable information in this matter from those parts of australia where the natives are in regular contact with whites. spencer takes it as certain that the belief in asexual propagation was once general in australia. among all those tribes by whom this belief has been preserved up to the present the traditions concerning the tribal ancestors are quite definite. among the arunta, for instance, who live in the district of the transcontinental telegraph line between charlotte waters and the mcdonnel mountains, and among whom ignorance of the process of generation was first discovered, there exists the tradition that in bygone times, called _altcheringa_, the male and female ancestors of the tribe carried spirit children about with them, which they put down in certain places. these spirit children, like the spirits of the tribal ancestors, themselves enter into the women and are borne by them. the arunta believe that at the death of a person his spirit returns to a special tree or rock, out of which it came, and which is called _nandcha_. it remains there until it thinks fit once more to enter into a woman, and thus go amongst the living. all these spirits are called _iruntarinia_. but before the first rebirth of an _iruntarinia_ there arose another spirit from the _nandcha_, which is the double of the _iruntarinia_, and is called _arumburinga._ this _arumburinga_ never becomes embodied, but remains always a spirit, which accompanies its human representative whenever inclined, and, as a rule, remains invisible. only specially gifted people, particularly witch doctors, can see _arumburinga;_ they can even speak with them. among other australian tribes which believe in rebirth, no belief in spirits like the _arumburinga_ has been traced (compare b. ankermann, "totenkult und seelenglauben bei afrikanischen völkern," _zeitschrift für ethnologie,_ jahrgang , pp. _et seq._). there is, however, general agreement in the belief that the ancestral parents brought into the world the spirit children, who are continually reborn. among many tribes, as the dieri and the warramunga, it is believed that the sex changes at every rebirth, so that the ancestral spirit once takes the form of a male and the next time that of a female. the conditions are such among the australians that their ignorance of the connection between sexual intercourse and propagation is not at all surprising. spencer points out that among the australians there are no "virgins," for as soon as a girl is sexually ripe she is given to a particular man, with whom she has sexual intercourse right through life. in this respect there is no difference among the native women; yet the people see that some women have children and others none, and also that the women with children have them at unequal intervals that have no connection with sexual intercourse. besides, the women know that they are pregnant only when they feel the quickening, and that is often at a time when they have had nothing to do with a man. therefore they attempt to explain the origin of children in some other manner, which is in accordance with the very primitive mode of thought of these unprogressive people. in this connection it may be mentioned that the australian mothers attribute the birth of half-castes to their having eaten too much of the white man's flour. therefore old australians accept without question as their own the half-caste children of their wives, and treat them as such. though the natives of northern queensland know that the animals propagate sexually, they dispute this as regards human beings, because man, in contradistinction to the animals, has a living spirit, a soul, which could not be begotten by a material process. a. lang thinks that with regard to the genesis of mankind the psychology of these primitive people has obscured their knowledge of physiology. according to him, the idea that there is no connection between cohabitation and generation cannot be considered as primary in man. a proof of this ignorance of the fertilisation process among the australians is the splitting of the penis practised by them. otherwise these tribes, which have a scarcity of women and children, and which desire progeny, would not perform an operation by which the semen fails to fulfil its function in the majority of cases of cohabitation. it is becoming more and more certain that this splitting of the penis serves exclusively the purpose of lust, and is least of all intended as a deliberate birth preventative (von reitzenstein). evidences of the ignorance of generation are also to be found elsewhere in cases where the above-mentioned objection of lang does not apply. in melanesia the connection between cohabitation and conception seems to have been unknown until lately. r. thurnwald says that among the tribes on the bismarck and solomon islands visited by him this connection is well known nowadays, but the causal relationship is not so clearly conceived as by our psychologically trained physicians. as a natural phenomenon conception sometimes occurs and sometimes not. intentional and real forgetting, inexact calculation of time, and the strangeness of men towards women, who are held as inferiors, all make it appear logically probable that conception can take place without cohabitation. to this must be added the weirdness of the whole process, which is therefore given a mysterious interpretation, and also that mode of thought which connects the young product with the place where it is found, with the fruits of a plant, and with the young ones of a bird, etc. codrington reports the same conditions among the banks islanders. many tribes of central borneo, being mentally and economically far above the australian natives, assume that pregnancy only lasts four or five months, namely, as long as it is recognised externally in the woman, and that the child enters the body of the woman shortly before the sign of pregnancy. these tribes of borneo also do not know that the testicles are necessary for propagation (nieuwenhuis, p. ). in africa it has been established, at least of the baganda, that they believe in the possibility of conception without cohabitation. conceptional totemism, the assumption of impregnation by the animals venerated as totems, which exists among the bakalai in the congo region, points to a similar belief. conceptional totemism also exists among the indian tribes of north-western america (frazer, vol. ii., pp. , , and , ). among the ancient mexicans there existed, according to von reitzenstein, the belief that the children come from a supernal habitation, the flower land, to enter into the mother. various objects were thought to carry the foetal germs, especially shuttlecocks and green jewels. for this reason these were placed on the mat for the mexican bridal pair after the marriage ceremony. the rattle club is perhaps also considered as the bearer of fertility. in india various trees play a _rôle_ in fertilisation ideas. noteworthy is the belief found in various places that only the nourishment of the child is supplied by the mother before birth, while the germ of the new being comes from the father. this is the opinion of certain tribes of south-east australia described by howitt and the same belief exists among south american tribes who have the well-known _couvade_. karl von den steinen writes regarding this: "one might be tempted to explain this curious custom, which is very advantageous to the women, by the hunting life. but even if the custom suits the women, it is not evident why the men should have submitted to it. the father cuts off the navel cord of the new-born child, goes to bed, looks after the child, and fasts strictly until the rest of the navel cord falls off (or even longer). one might consider him as the professional doctor who also fasts like the student medicine-man, as otherwise his cure would be endangered and the child harmed. but not only the xingu, but many other tribes, say that the father must not eat fish, meat, or fruit, as it would be the same as if the child itself ate them; and there is no reason to doubt that this is the real belief of the natives. the medicine-man of the village is always at disposal, and he is called in in all cases when the mother or child falls ill. the father is the patient in so far as he feels himself one with the child. nor is it difficult to understand how this comes about. the native cannot very well know anything about the egg cell and the graafian follicle, and he cannot know that the mother harbours elements corresponding to the bird's egg. for the native the man is the bearer of the egg, which, to put it clearly and concisely, he lays into the mother, and which she hatches during pregnancy." this idea of the _couvade_ is confirmed by linguistic peculiarities: there are the same or similar words for "father," "testicle," "egg," and "child." the child is considered part of the father, and therefore, as long as the child is at its weakest, the father must keep diet, and must avoid anything that the other could not digest. the child is considered the reproduction of the father, and "for the sake of the helpless, unintelligent creature, representing a miniature copy of himself, he must behave as if he were a child to whom no harm must come. should the child happen to die in the first days, how could the father, with such views as he has, doubt that he is to blame, seeing that he has eaten indigestible things, particularly as all illnesses are due to the fault of others? what we call _pars pro toto_ prevails in all folk belief in connection with witch or healing magic," though it cannot be assumed "that the magic worker has a clear conception of the 'part' with which he works. the _couvade_ proceeds according to the same logic, only that in this case the whole stands for the 'part.' it comes to the same whether the enemy's hair is poisoned, and he is thus brought into a decline, or whether food is eaten which is harmful to the child detached from one's own body, because it could not digest it, at least not during the time when the detachment takes place." besides south america and australia, the _couvade_ is also frequent in asia and africa. previously it existed also in south-western europe. hugo kunike, who gives a survey of the prevalence and literature of the _couvade_, thinks that this custom arose from prohibitions which the man was subject to in matriarchal families. the prohibitions condemned the man to inactivity for some time after the birth, so that he took to his hammock. there resulted an external condition which led to an analogy with the lying-in period. there can, according to kunike, be no question of an imitation of the woman's lying-in, for with the south american indians and other primitive peoples among whom the _couvade_ is found no lying-in of the women occurs. vii mutilation of sex organs mutilations of the sex organs are performed by many primitive peoples for religious reasons. they occur much more rarely for the purpose of sex stimulation, as, _e.g._, the artificial lengthening of the small labia among the hottentots and the negro women and the slitting of the penis among the australians. the most frequent mutilation is the abscission of the foreskin of the penis. circumcision of boys is widespread in asia, africa, and australia. among the mohammedan tribes of asia and the negroes of northern and middle africa it is mostly performed with a razor. in indonesia a sharp bamboo splinter serves as the instrument for operation; in other places sharp stone splinters are used. in addition to the familiar circular abscission of the foreskin, numerous primitive peoples practise incision of the foreskin, which is split downwards in its full length. bleeding is stopped generally by very simple means, either by some kind of tampon or by styptic powders. in girls, as, for instance, on some of the indonesian islands, the operation often merely consists in the abscission of a small piece of the preputium clitoridis. among the east african tribes, however, parts of the mons veneris and of the large labia are removed, generally with a dirty razor. after the removal of the labia the two wounds are made to coalesce by letting the girl lie in a suitable position, or sometimes by a suture, which serves the purpose of closing up the vagina. a little tube is inserted to allow for micturition. the united parts are again partly severed for marriage, and completely in case of confinement. after the recovery from confinement partial occlusion is again resorted to (bartels, p. ). among the natives of southern asia living under the influence of islam circumcision of boys is practised universally, but it is also customary among many peoples that are quite free from islamitic influence. circumcision of girls is practised by various islamitic peoples of western asia and india. the operation is performed by old women. in baroda and bombay the clitoris is cut away, ostensibly in order to lessen the sensuality of the girls. in the province of sindo the circumcision of girls is fairly prevalent, especially among the pathan and baluchi tribes. it is performed shortly before marriage by the barber's wife or a female servant, who uses a razor, and it is said to make the confinement easier. among many tribes in the north-western border province the girls are also circumcised at the age of marriage, and here, besides the clitoris, the small labia are also sometimes cut away. in baluchistan among some peoples the tip of the clitoris is pinched off; while among others the labia are slashed, so that scars are formed. the operation is performed partly in childhood, partly on the bridal night; in the latter case it assures the requisite flow of blood at the first coition. among some tribes, in place of circumcision or in addition to it, the hymen is torn on the bridal night (should it still exist), and the vaginal entrance is wounded, so that bleeding is sure to take place at cohabitation. in sind the castes which prostitute their women are said to practise partial infibulation for contracting the vagina. it is reported from the punjab that formerly men leaving their home for a time used to close up the sex passage of the wives they left behind. on the philippine islands circumcision is frequently practised by the non-christian natives, but not everywhere. the igorots of luzon incise the foreskin of boys from four to seven years old at the upper side of the glans with a bamboo knife or the edge of a battle axe. they say this is necessary in order to prevent the skin from growing longer and longer. no other reason is now known to them for this operation. circumcision is practised by the mohammedans of the southern philippine islands. incision of the foreskin is customary on the indonesian islands, thus, _e.g._, on buru, ceram, the watu-bela islands, in the minahassa, partly also in the remaining north and central celebes, also on ambon and halmaheira. circumcision is customary on the aru and kei islands, on the ceram laut and goram group, in certain parts of central celebes, ambon, etc. it is doubtful whether circumcision here is due to the influence of islam. incision is practised on various islands in the western pacific ocean, according to friederici (p. ), for instance, on new guinea, on the south-east coast, among the jabim and on the astrolabe bay. in wide districts of new guinea, however, the inhabitants are not circumcised. on the island umboi, between new guinea and new pomerania, incision is customary, also in various places on the north coast of new pomerania, on the witu islands, some islands of the admiralty group, etc. if incision is performed at a very early age, the result is similar to that of circumcision. frequently, however, only completely mature young men are circumcised; in such cases the cut foreskin hangs down as an ugly brown flap. it is questionable whether this intensifies the women's excitement. as many people as possible are circumcised, in order to have the opportunity for a great festival. this is the result of the liking for numbers shown by primitive people, which is to be met with everywhere. for the operation, the person is laid on his back and held down by relatives. the boys scream and wince at the moment of cutting; but the adults are ashamed before the women, and take an areca nut, into which they bite. among the east barriari on the north coast of new pomerania, the operator--a wise man, but not the priest--pushes an oblong piece of wood under the preputium of the patient, and cuts it from the top downward with an obsidian splinter. the custom of incision is widespread in the new hebrides, new caledonia (with the exception of the loyalty islands), and also in fiji. while with the empress augusta river expedition in new guinea, a. roesike found the foreskin cut among a number of men. it was not a circumcision, nor an incision of the foreskin, but a deep cut into the glans about to ½ centimetres long, sometimes a single one, sometimes a double one crosswise. among some tribes of indonesia a mutilation is customary, which is most likely intended to intensify the lust of the women. it consists in a perforation of the glans or the body of the male organ, into which a little stick is inserted. these little sticks are called _palang_, _ampallang_, _utang_ or _kampion_, and are replaced on journeys or at work by feather quills. among some tribes several little sticks are stuck through the penis. nieuwenhuis describes this operation as follows: "at first the glans is made bloodless by pressing it between the two arms of a bent strip of bamboo. at each of these arms there are openings at the required position opposite each other, through which a sharp pointed copper pin is pressed after the glans has become less sensitive. formerly a pointed bamboo chip was used for this purpose. the bamboo clamp is removed, and the pin, fastened by a cord, is kept in the opening until the canal has healed up. later on the copper pin (_utang_) is replaced by another one, generally of tin, which is worn constantly. only during hard work or at exhausting enterprises is the metal pin replaced by a wooden one." exceptionally brave men have the privilege, together with the chief, of boring a second canal, crossing the first, into the glans. distinguished men may, in addition, wear a ring round the penis, which is cut from the scales of the _pangolin_, and studded with blunt points. it may hence be concluded that the perforation of the penis is not intended as an endurance test for the young men, but that the pin is introduced for the heightening of sexual excitement. many natives assert that the insertion of a pin in the perforated penis has the purpose of preventing pederasty, which is very frequent among the malays (compare nieuwenhuis, vol. i., p. ; kleiweg de zwaan, p. ; meyer, p. ; hose and mcdougall, vol. ii., p. ; buschan, , p. ). among the australians the slitting of the male urethra is frequently practised. formerly it was believed that this custom was intended to prevent conception. but as the australians who are not under european influence are ignorant of the process of generation, this cannot be its meaning. the operation is generally performed in boyhood or early youth, but even adult men undergo it. where this operation on the urethra is customary, the hymen of the girls is cut, the cut often going through the perineum. many tribes practise simple circumcision. among the australian tribe worgait, for instance, certain relatives decide about the circumcision of the boys. after a previous elaborate ceremonial the boy who is to be circumcised is laid on the backs of three men lying on the ground; another man sits on his chest, one holds his legs apart, and the sixth performs the operation by drawing the foreskin forward and cutting it off with a sharp splinter of stone. the group is hidden from the view of the women by a screen made of pieces of bark. afterwards the youth is instructed by old men how he must behave as a man, and he is informed about the matters kept secret from women. he remains for another two months under the supervision of two sons of his maternal uncle, and has further to go through a number of ceremonies. other tribes of the australian north territory have similar customs. circumcision among the hamites of east africa is particularly elaborate. as an example we may take the pastoral tribe of the nandi. these people used to circumcise boys every seven and a half years, and celebrated the occasion with great festivals. since circumcision takes place at shorter intervals. the usual age for circumcision is from the fifteenth to the nineteenth year. younger boys are only circumcised if they are rich orphans, or if their fathers are old men. the ceremony begins at the time of the first quarter of the moon. three days before the operation the boys are given over by their fathers or guardians into the charge of old men, called _moterenic_, as many as ten boys going to two of these men. the _moterenic_ and their boys betake themselves to a neighbouring wood, where they build a hut, in which they spend the six months after the circumcision. the boys have their heads shaved and are given a strong aperient of arsidia sp. warriors visit the hut, and take away all the boys' clothes and ornaments. then young girls visit the boys and give them a part of their clothing and ornaments. after the boys have put these on they inform their relations of the forthcoming circumcision. there is dancing on the next day, after which the warriors draw the boys aside to discover from their expressions whether they will behave cowardly or bravely at the circumcision. after this examination the boys receive necklaces from their girl friends, with which they decorate themselves. after sunset they must listen to the sharpening of the operating knife. warriors are present, and tease the boys. later on all undress, and a procession is formed with a _moterenic_ at the head and rear of it. four times they have to crawl through a small cage, where warriors are stationed at the entrance and exit with nettles and hornets. with the former they beat the boys in the face and on the sex organs; the hornets they set on their backs. a fire is kept burning in the middle of the room, around which old men are seated. each boy has to step before them and beg for permission to be circumcised. he is questioned about his early life; and if the old men think that he has told an untruth or is hiding something, he is put among nettles. if the old men are satisfied with his words, the price of the circumcision has to be arranged, whereupon the boys are led back to their huts. there the warriors and elders assemble the next morning, and at dawn the circumcision begins. the boy to be circumcised is supported by the senior _moterenic_, the others sitting close by and looking on. the operator kneels before the boy, and with a quick cut performs the first part of the operation; the foreskin is drawn forward and cut off at the tip of the glans penis. the surrounding men watch the boy's face in order to see whether he winces or shows any sign of pain. if this is the case, he is called a coward, and receives the dishonourable nickname of _kilpit_; he is not allowed to be present at later circumcisions nor at the children's dances. the brave boys receive bundles of ficus from the women, who welcome them with cries of joy when they return the necklaces which they have previously received from their girl friends. the foreskins are collected and placed in an ox horn. friends and relatives make merry together, while the second part of the operation begins. at this only sterile girls may be present, and also women who have lost several brothers and sisters at short intervals. many boys become unconscious during this part of the operation. the wounds are only washed with cold water, and the boys are led back to their huts, where they spend some weeks quietly. during the first four days they are not allowed to touch food with their hands; they must eat either out of a half-calabash or with the help of some leaves. they get what they like, also milk and meat. but, apart from their _moterenic_, nobody may come near them for four days. afterwards the hand-washing ceremony is performed; the foreskins are taken out of the ox horn, sacrificed to their god, and then buried in cowdung at the foot of a croton tree. now the boys may eat with their hands again, but still no one may see them except the young children who bring them food. three months later, when the boys are quite well again, they have to go through a new ceremony, during which they have to dive repeatedly into the river. if one of them should meet with an accident, his father has to kill a goat. only now may the boys move about freely, but they still have to wear women's clothes (as hitherto) and a special head-dress that hides their faces. they must not enter a cattle kraal nor come near the cattle, nor are they allowed to be outdoors when the hyena howls. this period of semi-seclusion lasts about eight weeks. its conclusion is celebrated by a feast. still more ceremonies follow, and again a feast, after which the boys finally enter the status of manhood. girls are circumcised when some of them in the settlement have reached marriage age. they are shaved, given aperients, have to put on men's clothes, which they receive from their lovers, and take their clubs, loin bells, etc. after three days' ceremonial the circumcision is performed in the morning, at which the mothers and some old women are present; men are only admitted when they have lost several brothers and sisters in succession. the mothers run about crying and shouting during the operation. only the clitoris is cut out. if a girl behaves bravely, she may return the clothes and other things of her lover, otherwise they are thrown away. the girls, too, must not touch food with their hands for four days; afterwards they are put into long dresses with a kind of head mask, and have to go through a period of seclusion. after the completion of various other formalities they are fit for marriage (hollis, , pp. _et seq._). no satisfactory explanation has so far been forthcoming of the purpose of these elaborate circumcision customs. similar customs are observed by other hamites of eastern africa. among the masai there exists the belief that circumcision was introduced by the command of god (merker, p. ). after the circumcision boys and girls are considered grown up. the former have to be circumcised as soon as they are strong enough to take part in a war expedition. the circumcision of sons whose parents have no property and of poor orphans takes place last of all. for the meat banquet which the newly circumcised hold every one present has to supply an ox. poor boys must first acquire it by working for it. the circumcision is a public affair, and is arranged by the witch doctor in certain years. the old men consult in all the districts, and fix a day for the circumcision of the first batch of boys. all the boys circumcised during a certain number of years form an age class with a particular name (as among the nandi). several weeks before the circumcision the boys, adorned with many ornaments, dance and sing in their own and neighbouring kraals, in order to express their joy at their approaching admission into the warrior class. on the day before the circumcision the boys' heads are shaved. on the appointed day itself the boys and the warriors who are present at the operation assemble before dawn at the place chosen by the operators. the boys pour cold water over each other, so as to become less sensitive. after the operation the wounded member is washed with milk; no remedy for stopping the bleeding is applied. later on all the men of the neighbourhood assemble in the kraal, where they are regaled with meat and honey beer by the parents of the newly circumcised boys. the girls are circumcised as soon as signs of puberty become evident, sometimes even earlier. the operation consists in a complete abscission of the clitoris. the wound, as with the boys, is washed in milk. the girl remains in her mother's hut until the wound is healed. as soon as the man to whom the girl is promised as bride hears of her recovery he pays her father the remaining part of the bride-price, and nothing more stands in the way of the marriage. among the somals in north-east africa the boys are circumcised when six years old, and the girls are infibulated at three or four years of age. the infibulation is preceded by the shortening of the clitoris and the clipping of the external labia. the operation is performed by experienced women, who also sew up the inner labia (except for a small aperture) with horse-hair, bast, or cotton thread. the girls have to rest for several days with their legs tied together. before marriage the above-mentioned women or the girls themselves undo the stitching, which, however, is in most cases only severed completely before the confinement (paulitschke, p. ). in western africa most peoples practise the circumcision of boys. the age at which this takes place varies greatly. the duala in cameron have the boys circumcised when four or five years old, the bakwiri as late as the twelfth to fourteenth year, and the dahomey even postpone the circumcision to the twentieth year. but it always takes place before marriage, as women would refuse to have relationship with uncircumcised men (buschan, "sitten," iii., p. ). a peculiar disfigurement of the sex organs is customary among the hottentots, bushmen, and many bantu tribes of middle and south africa. this consists in the artificial elongation of the small labia. it was first observed among the hottentot women, and therefore the elongated labia were called the "hottentot apron." among the jao, makonde, and other east african bantu tribes, the girls at the ages of seven, eight, or nine years are instructed by old women about sex intercourse and their behaviour towards grown-up people. at the same time they are encouraged to systematically alter the natural shape of the genital organs by continually pulling at the labia minora and thus unnaturally lengthening them. karl weule has seen such disfigured organs from to centimetres long. according to the assertion of numerous male natives, the elongated labia assume such dimensions that they hang half-way down to the knee. the main purpose of this disfiguration seems to be erotic; it is said to excite the men. the assumption that the labia minora are naturally exceptionally large among the hottentots is certainly wrong. karl weule is right when he definitely maintains that his proof of the artificial elongation of the labia among the east africans establishes it as an indubitable fact that the famous hottentot apron is also an artificial product. le vaillant established this independently almost years before weule; but the error dragged on from decade to decade, chiefly because nobody troubled or had the good fortune to study the puberty rites as weule did. it is time at last to give up this erroneous idea. among the jaos the operation of the boys consists in a combination of incision with circumcision so that only a tiny piece of the under-part of the preputium remains. the boy must show courage at the operation. screams, if they occur, are drowned by the laughter of the bystanders. bleeding is stilled by bark powder. the boys have to lie down for about twenty days or more, until healing has taken place. as usual, circumcision is combined with instruction about sex behaviour. in former times the jaos are said to have imposed castration as a punishment on men for misbehaviour with the chief's wife (weule, pp. , ). castration still takes place for this reason among other negro races, especially the mohammedan sudanese. in north america the few indians still living in a state of nature do not practise mutilation of the sex organs. in south america circumcision exists among the linguistically isolated tribes and the neighbouring aruake and karaib tribes of the north-west, also among the tribes on the ucayali and the tributaries of the apure (w. schmidt, p. ). the kayapo indians on the araguay river cut the frenulum of the penis with a taquara splinter, and the penis cuff is fastened on to the rolled-up foreskin (w. kissenberth, p. ). the purpose of circumcision is probably to prolong the sex act, for the bare glans is less sensitive than the covered one. friederici says (p. ) that the black boys congregating on the stations and plantations frequently discuss these matters amongst themselves; they know that the glans of the circumcised is much less sensitive than that of the uncircumcised. many authors are of the opinion that the abscission or incision of the foreskin in boys has the purpose of making cohabitation easier in later years, as this is often made difficult by phimosis (tightness of the foreskin). külz (p. ) found that among the youthful plantation workers in new mecklenburg nearly a quarter were afflicted with phimosis, and often to such a degree that normal sex functioning was quite impossible. but such a condition does not seem to prevail among most of the primitive peoples practising circumcision. and, further, of what use would mutilations be that had nothing to do with tightness of the foreskin? the prolonged festivals and elaborate ceremonials which are so often connected with the circumcision of boys and of girls, or with their admission to the state of manhood and womanhood (without accompanying circumcision), are intended to preserve the event in the memory. the long ceremony is deeply impressed upon the mind, and forms a firm nucleus round which other memories cluster which otherwise would be lost in the humdrum of ordinary life. how could the time of entry into manhood remain without ceremonious festival? this seems all the more necessary because the growth into manhood is gradual and almost unnoticeable, and if there were no ceremony, it would pass without making any impression. it is therefore the intention not only to give expression to the beginning virility, but above all to the admission into the league of youth (schurtz, pp. , ). viii maturity and decline among all human races the signs of maturity appear later and less distinctly in the male than in the female. in europeans the period of puberty coincides with the second period of increased bodily growth, which ceases in the male between the sixteenth and the eighteenth year, and in the female between the fourteenth and the sixteenth year. the end of the puberty period may, however, in individual cases, be postponed for some years. the exact time of the advent of sex maturity, which, on account of their menstruation, can be fixed much more readily in girls than in boys, varies not only individually, but racially. the same applies to the difference in time between the advent of maturity and the cessation of bodily growth. sexual maturity, as well as the cessation of bodily growth, takes place much earlier in europeans than in some of the primitive peoples. among other primitive peoples, however, maturity occurs comparatively late, and bodily growth ceases shortly after. to the latter belong certainly some of the peoples living in the tropics. the opinion still prevails that climate has a considerable influence on the advent of maturity. rudolf martin ( ) remarks: "races living in the tropics grow more quickly and mature earlier than the races living in temperate zones. this is undoubtedly due to the earlier advent of puberty." as regards the japanese, e. baelz had already in disputed the statement that they mature early. he found, however, that the growth of both sexes ceases in japan earlier than in europe; still sex maturity in the female does not occur earlier. according to the concordant statements of female teachers of various girls' schools, the japanese girls, in fact, reach maturity later than european girls, and half-caste girls take a medium position. since then reliable data about the advent of maturity among non-european races have seldom been given, but those to hand show that most probably even among coloured primitive people puberty generally occurs late. very important material has been collected by o. reche in matupi (new pomerania, melanesia), with the assistance of the catholic mission of the place. he found that the rhythm of growth of the melanesians corresponds on the whole to that of the europeans, except that the growth ceases altogether a few years earlier. development in height is finished on the whole in girls at the beginning of the seventeenth year, and in boys in the eighteenth year. but, as regards the advent of puberty, reche's researches led to the surprising result that all matupi girls, with the exception of those seventeen years old, had not yet menstruated. reche remarks that this strikingly late appearance of menstruation is also known to the missionaries, because in order to prevent early marriages they only consent to the marriage of a girl after the first menstruation has taken place. reche's experience is in strong contradiction to the belief formerly taken for granted, for puberty occurs among these inhabitants of the tropics not only not earlier, but, on the contrary, later than with the europeans living in temperate climates. of importance is the fact that in the matupi natives puberty coincides with the highest point of the curve of growth, namely, with the end of the development in height. puberty commences when growth ceases. it almost seems as if the advent of maturity absorbs all the strength and hinders further growth. it is quite different with europeans in this respect: the beginning of puberty falls with them in the second period of growth (in boys the twelfth to the sixteenth, in girls the eleventh to the fourteenth year), and therefore long before growth ceases altogether. it would seem that the conditions existing among europeans are the primitive state, as with the majority of animals also puberty begins before the cessation of growth. reche reports further that, corresponding to the late puberty, the secondary sexual characteristics also appear exceptionally late in matupi children. this is the chief reason why the boys and girls, especially as they are small, appear remarkably young even shortly before maturity, and why their age seems much less than it actually is. the first beginning of the change from the areola mamma to the budding breast shows itself among the matupi girls not before the sixteenth year; the development of the breast seems to coincide with the first menstruation. axillary hair did not appear in sixteen-year-old matupi girls, with one exception; and it was scanty in those seventeen years old, though it is generally copious in adults. there was also no trace of a beard in seventeen-year-old boys, though it is well developed in the older men. it must be added that the late differentiation of secondary sexual characteristics is also noticeable among other coloured races, as, _e.g._, among the philippines and other indonesian races. among the papuans of new guinea also sex maturity occurs late. as richard neuhaus wrote, according to information given by missionaries who have lived for a long time among the natives on tami and among the jabim, the first menstruation generally appears in the fifteenth to sixteenth year. young males look very undeveloped up to the sixteenth year. neuhaus thought this late maturity was the result of bad feeding, though it does not appear from his other descriptions that the economic conditions of the papuans are especially unfavourable. a. e. jenks reports of the igorots on luzon that boys as well as girls attain puberty at a late age, generally between fourteen and sixteen years. the civilised ilkano people settled among the igorots definitely declare that the girls do not menstruate before they have reached the sixteenth or seventeenth year. a considerable error as regards their age seems to be excluded with these people, who have lived a long time under european influence. of the andamanese, a pigmy race, portman and molesworth write that puberty appears in boys and girls round about the fifteenth year. bodily growth is finished at eighteen years, and is in any case after maturity very trivial. eugen fischer makes the following statements about the bastards in german south-west africa: "in one family five out of six daughters menstruated for the first time at the age of fifteen, one at the age of sixteen. one bastard woman had first menstruated at the age of seventeen, three of her daughters at thirteen, the fourth, who was anæmic, at seventeen. another bastard woman, who herself had her first menstruation at fifteen, had two daughters from a white man who had reached puberty at sixteen and seventeen years of age. a girl with distinct anæmia stated that she had had her first period at sixteen years, her sister even as late as eighteen," fischer knows of three girls that became mature at sixteen, fourteen, and thirteen years. l. schultze reports that with the hottentots the first menstruation appears, as a rule, between the ages of thirteen and fifteen. there is, unfortunately, no information to be had about the negroes with regard to this subject. the puberty rites practised by them give no clue to the real age at the advent of puberty. ales hrdlicka (pp. - ) tried to determine the age of puberty among indian girls of the south-west of the united states by their height, as definite statements of age are not to be had. this method is not without objection, for it is certain that individuals who have attained puberty are decidedly taller than persons of the same age who have not reached maturity. hrdlicka found that of those examined in the twelfth or thirteenth year one-third of the apache girls and as many as three-quarters of the pima girls had already menstruated. in the age class of thirteen to fourteen years four-fifths of the apache and nine-tenths of the pima girls had already menstruated, while of forty-six older girls only one had not yet attained puberty. the first signs of breast development were noticed by hrdlicka in clothed indian maidens whose ages he estimated to be from eleven to twelve years. but it was only between fifteen and seventeen that the girls acquired the typical womanly form; until then they have, as hrdlicka says, "a somewhat male appearance." in youths the beard begins to grow at the fifteenth or sixteenth year. the climate is moderate in the country of the apache and pima indians; the days are decidedly hot in the low-lying regions, but the nights are generally cold in these regions, even in summer. in comparison it may be noted that, according to h. p. bowditch's investigations in boston, nearly four-fifths of the white girls born in america mature between the thirteenth and seventeenth year. puberty is reached relatively most often between the ages of fourteen and fifteen, though over per cent. of girls examined had not yet menstruated at the completed fifteenth year. within one and the same race the conditions of life seem to have a great influence on the age of puberty and bodily development. unfavourable conditions produce a retardation of puberty; favourable conditions accelerate it. this may be the chief cause why the beginning of puberty varies individually by several years. there exists so far no definite explanation of the racial differences in the age of puberty. reche says, "it is conceivable that the characteristically late maturity of a tropical race (like that of the melanesians) may gradually have been acquired by the unfavourable influence of too hot a climate or of continual underfeeding acting on many generations." it is remarkable that, in contradistinction to the melanesians, the indians become mature very early, and the same applies most likely to the australians. in india, as in australia, sexual intercourse is begun at a very youthful age, among the girls often long before the first menstruation. it is possible that on account of this the age of puberty is lowered, so that girls who mature late are more easily injured and perish in greater number than the girls maturing earlier, who are less injured by the premature sexual intercourse. the male sex may have been influenced in the same direction through heredity. just as physical maturity, so is the cessation of generative power and bodily decline more marked in women than in men. in middle and northern europe, procreation generally ceases with women of an age between forty-five and fifty years. numerous birth statistics from all countries of this continent show that birth in women over fifty years old is very rare. it is not quite clear how the case stands in this respect among the coloured races. hrdlicka reports of the north american indian women that with them the climacterium occurs apparently at about the same age as with european women. it must be taken into consideration that accurate statements of age are wanting, and that the age of indian women can easily be greatly overrated. otherwise it has generally been reported of coloured women that they age rapidly, and that their reproductive period is comparatively short. in north-west brazil the indian girls marry as soon as in their tenth to twelfth year, on account of their rapid development. early maturity and marriage may be one of the chief causes of their rapid decline. the indian women are generally beyond their prime at the age of twenty. their straight figure is frequently covered with a disgusting accumulation of fat, and the elasticity of movement gives way to indolence. other women become very thin after several confinements, their features become sharp and bony, and among old women one often comes across real hag-like creatures with half-blind, running eyes (koch-grünberg, ii., p. ). in india the women of the dravidian as well as of the mongolian races age rapidly. their generative power rarely lasts longer than the beginning of the forties. among the pigmies the time of procreation is said to be equally short (portman and molesworth). spencer and gillen say that with the australian women a rapid bodily decline takes place as early as the twenty-fifth and at the latest in the thirtieth year, which cannot be attributed to exceptional privations or harsh treatment. the australian women apparently reach the age of fifty years or more only exceptionally. jochelson (pp. _et seq._) writes that the koryak women age very rapidly. they cease to bear children at about the age of forty. other travellers have made statements about the great age that the koryaks are said to attain. jochelson's thorough-going investigations showed that of persons only thirteen could possibly have been over sixty-five years old, and among them there was only one really old man. schultze (p. ) mentions two hottentot women who had given birth at the age of forty-seven, and another who still had her period at fifty-five. among the negresses late births also occur. unfortunately, ethnographical literature only rarely gives facts with regard to this subject. ix bibliography amundsen, r. die nordwestpassage. münchen, . baelz, e. die körperlichen eigenschaften der japaner. bd. . baelz, e. das wachstum der geschlechter. verhandl. d. berliner ges. f. anthropologie, , s. . bagge, s. the circumcision ceremony among the naivasha masai. journal anthropol. inst., vol. , pp. - . bartels, m. die medizin der naturvölker. leipzig, . blumentritt, ferd. versuch einer ethnographie der philippinen. gotha, . bogoras, w. the chukchee. leiden and new york, - (memoirs of the american museum of natural history). bowditch, h. p. the growth of children. eighth annual report of the state board of health, state of massachusetts. boston, . brincker, h. p. charakter, sitten und gebräuche speziell der bantu deutsch-südwestafrikas. mitt. d. sem. f. orient. sprachen, iii. . buschan, georg. das sexuelle in der völkerkunde. handbuch der sexualwissenschaften. leipzig, . buschan, georg. die sitten der völker. stuttgart, - . codrington, r. h. the melanesians. oxford, . crawley, a. e. exogamy and the mating of cousins. anthropological essays presented to e. b. tylor. oxford, . cunow, h. zur urgeschichte der ehe und familie. stuttgart, . deegener, p. die formen der vergesellschaftung im tierreich. leipzig, . ellis, h. the evolution of modesty, nd ed. philadelphia, . endle, s. the kacháris. london, . eylmann, e. die eingeborenen der kolonie südaustralien. berlin, . fischer, eugen. die rehobother bastards. jena, . frazer, j. g. totemism and exogamy. london, . friederici, georg. beiträge zur völker- und sprachenkunde von deutsch-neuguinea. berlin, . mitt. a. d. deutschen schutzgeb., ergänzungsheft . frobenius, leo. und afrika sprach! vol. : unter den unsträflichen Äthiopen. charlottenburg, . gait, e. a. census of india, vol. , part . calcutta, . gerson, adolf. die scham. bonn, . hahn, ed. von der hacke zum pflug. leipzig, . hellwald, f. die menschliche familie. leipzig, . hinlopen u. severijn. verslag van een onderzoek der poggieilanden in . tijdschrift vor ind. taal-, land- en volkenkunde, ii., p. . hodson, t. c. the naga tribes of manipur. london, . hollis, a. c. the masai. oxford, . hollis, a. c. the nandi. oxford, . hose, c., and mcdougall, w. the pagan tribes of borneo. london, . howitt, a. c. the native tribes of south-east australia. london, . hrdlicka, ales. physiological and medical observations among the indians. washington, . iyer, a. k. cochin tribes and castes. madras, . jagors nachlass. bd. , berlin, . jenks, a. e. the bontoc igorot. manila, . jochelson, w. the koryak. leiden and new york, (memoirs of the american museum of natural history). kissenberth, w. araguayareise. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . kleiweg de zwaan, j. p. heilkunde der minangkabauer. in: maass, durch zentralsumatra, vol. , berlin, . knoche, w. beobachtungen über geschlechtsleben und niederkunft auf der osterinsel. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . knoche, w. einige bemerkungen über die uti-krag. ebenda, . koch-grÜnberg, theodor. zwei jahre unter den indianern. berlin, . kÜlz, l. biologie und pathologie des nachwuchses bei den naturvölkern der deutschen schutzgebiete. leipzig, (beiheft zum archiv für schiffs- u. tropenhygiene). kunike, hugo. das sogenannte männerkindbett. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . lang, a. australian problems. essays presented to e. b. tylor. oxford, . martin, rudolf. die inlandstämme der malayischen halbinsel. jena, . martin, rudolf. lehrbuch der anthropologie. jena, . mclennan, j. f. studies in ancient history. london, . merker, m. die masai. berlin, . meyer, a. b. Über die perforation des penis bei den malayen. mitt. der anthrop. gesellschaft wien, bd. , . morgan, l. h. die urgesellschaft. stuttgart, . mÜller, josef. das sexuelle leben der naturvölker. leipzig, . mÜller, w. die wildenstämme der insel formosa. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . nansen, f. eskimoleben. berlin, . neuhauss, r. deutsch-neuguinea, bd. . berlin, . nieuwenhuis, a. w. quer durch borneo. leiden, . paulitschke, philipp. beiträge zur ethnographie und anthropologie der somal usw. leipzig, . peal, e. s. on the morong. journal of the anthropological institute, vol. . playfair, a. the garos. london, . ploss, h., und bartels, m. das weib in der natur- und völkerkunde, . aufl. leipzig, . portman and molesworth. record of the andamanese, - . ms. in british museum. reche, otto. untersuchungen über das wachstum und die geschlechtsreife bei melanesischen kindern. korrespondenzbl. d. d. ges. f. anthropol., . jahrg., nr. . reed, w. the negrito of zambales. manila, . reitzenstein, ferdinand von. der kausalzusammenhang zwischen geschlechtsverkehr und empfängnis in glaube und branch der natur- und kulturvölker. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . jahrg., , s. - . rivers, w. h. r. the toda. london, . rivers, w. h. r. on the origin of the classificatory system of relationship. essays presented to e. b. tylor. oxford, . roesike, a. ethnographische ergebnisse der kaiserin. augusta-fluß-expedition. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . roscoe, john. the baganda. london, . roscoe, john. the bahima. journal of the anthropological institute, vol. . sarasin, paul und fritz. ergebnisse naturwissenschaftlicher forschungsreisen auf ceylon, bd. . wiesbaden, - . schmidt, wilhelm. kulturkreise und kulturschichten in südamerika. zeitschrift für ethnologie, . schultze, l. aus namaland und kalahari. jena, . schurtz, heinrich. altersklassen und männerbünde. berlin, . schweinfurth, georg. im herzen von afrika. rd ed. leipzig, . seligmann, c. g. the melanesians of british new guinea. cambridge, . spencer, baldwin. native tribes of the northern territory of australia. london, . spencer, baldwin, and gillen, f. the native tribes of central australia. london, . spencer, baldwin, and gillen, f. the northern tribes of central australia. london, . steinen, karl v. d. unter den naturvölkern zentralbrasiliens. berlin, . theal, g. m. the yellow and dark-skinned people of africa south of the zambesi. london, . thomson, basil h. the fijians. london, . thurnwald, r. ethno-psychologische studien. leipzig, . westermarck, e. history of human marriage. london, . weule, karl. wissenschaftliche ergebnisse meiner ethnogr. forschungsreise in den südosten deutsch-ostafrikas. berlin, . mitt. a. d. d. schutzgeb., erg.-heft . wilken, g. a. handleiding voor de vergelijkende volkenkunde van nederl.-indië. leiden, . williamson, robert w. the mafulu. london, . the whitefriars press, ltd., london and tonbridge. _by s. herbert, m.d., m.r.c.s., l.r.c.p._ an introduction to the physiology & psychology of sex large crown vo, with illustrations in the text. price + s. d.+ net (by post, / ). "for a simple statement, expressed in language as far as possible free from technicalities, of the principal phenomena of generation, dr. herbert's book is the best that we have seen."--_cambridge review._ "it is therefore a real satisfaction to find a sex manual which may be placed with confidence in the hands of any educated person.... he has certainly produced the best little manual which we yet possess in this field."--havelock ellis in _eugenics review_. fundamentals in sexual ethics an enquiry into modern tendencies large crown vo, cloth. price + s. d.+ net (by post, / ). "dr. herbert is a thoughtful and enlightened writer, fully informed with regard to the modern literature and modern research on sexual matters. he treats with knowledge all the urgent sexual questions and sexual phenomena, normal and abnormal, and attempts to construct a sexual ethic on biological and physiological facts."--_the times._ " ... the book is a successful attempt to deal with a difficult subject, and it deserves to be widely read."--_the prescriber._ the first principles of heredity second edition, large crown vo, containing illustrations. price + s. d.+ net (by post, / ). "we have only praise for the result of dr. herbert's attempt to provide us with a simple and brief, but at the same time scientific and comprehensive, survey of our present knowledge concerning the laws of heredity, their working and significance."--_eugenics review._ the first principles of evolution second edition, revised, large crown vo, containing illustrations. price + s. d.+ net (by post, / ). "contains not a single dry page--far and away the most compact and complete account of evolution in all its aspects."--_globe._ _by mrs. s. herbert._ sex lore. a primer on courtship, marriage, and parenthood. large crown vo, containing illustrations. price + s. d.+ net (by post, / ). "the author in simple, non-technical language expounds the main facts of sex, especially with regard to biology and physiology, and she treats this delicate subject in a tactful manner. a special feature of the book is the large number of illustrations. the volume is intended for the 'younger generation,' but parents and teachers would be well advised to peruse the book, which should prove invaluable for educative purposes."--_medical times._ " ... may be left with confidence in the hands of any educated person who is attaining to manhood or womanhood."--_aberdeen daily journal._ published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. the new horizon in love and life by mrs. havelock ellis with a preface by edward carpenter and an introduction by marguerite tracy _demy vo._ price + / + net (_by post, s._) contents part i love and marriage the love of to-morrow a noviciate for marriage semi-detached marriage marriage and divorce eugenics and the mystical outlook eugenics and spiritual parenthood blossoming-time love as a fine art part ii the new civilisation democracy in the kitchen the masses and the classes the maternal in domestic and political life political militancy: its cause and cure war: an ancient virtue and a modern vice the new civilisation the philosophy of happiness bibliography index "mrs. havelock ellis has written a fine and beautiful book, although many of her ideas appear too utopian to be practical. it is thoughtful and pure in tone, offering no inducement to the prurient of mind, and her chapter on 'blossoming-time'--the tactful enlightenment of children--is a lovely piece of literature. it makes one long for a new and perfect world, in which all minds shall be pure and all passion fine and clean."--_the statesman._ " ... it will do everyone good to read and ponder it."--_truth._ published by a. & c. black, ltd., , & soho square, london, w. searchlights on health the science of eugenics * * * * * a guide to purity and physical manhood advice to maiden, wife and mother love, courtship, and marriage * * * * * by prof. b.g. jefferis, m.d., ph. d. and j.l. nicols, a.m. _with excerpts from well-known authorities_ rev. leonard dawson dr. m.j. savage rev. h.r. haweis dr. pancoast dr. stall dr. j.f. scott dr. george napheys dr. stockham dr. t.d. nicholls dr. r.l. dugdale dr. john cowan dr. m.l. holbrook * * * * * published by j.l. nichols & company naperville, illinois, u.s.a. agents wanted "vice has no friend like the prejudice which claims to be virtue."--_lord lytton._ "when the judgment's weak, the prejudice is strong."--_kate o'hare._ "it is the first right of every child to be well born." * * * * * copyrighted , by j.l. nichols & co. over , , copies sold * * * * * table of contents. [transcriber's note: this table of contents does not appear in the original book. it has been added to this document for ease of navigation.] knowledge is safety, page the beginning of life, page health a duty, page value of reputation, page influence of associates, page self-control, page habit, page a good name, page the mother's influence, page home power, page to young women, page influence of female character, page personal purity, page how to write all kinds of letters, page how to write a love letter, page forms of social letters, page letter writing, page forms of love letters, page hints and helps on good behavior at all times and at all places, page a complete etiquette in a few practical rules, page etiquette of calls, page etiquette in your speech, page etiquette of dress and habits, page etiquette on the street, page etiquette between sexes, page practical rules on table manners, page social duties, page politeness, page influence of good character, page family government, page conversation, page the toilet or the care of the person, page a young man's personal appearance, page dress, page beauty, page sensible helps to beauty, page how to keep the bloom and grace of youth, page form and deformity, page how to determine a perfect human figure, page the history, mystery, benefits and injuries of the corset, page tight-lacing, page the care of the hair, page how to cure pimples or other facial eruptions, page black-heads and flesh worms, page love, page the power and peculiarities of love, page amativeness or connubial love, page love and common sense, page what women love in men, page what men love in women, page history of marriage, page marriage, page the advantages of wedlock, page the disadvantages of celibacy, page old maids, page when and whom to marry, page choose intellectually--love afterward, page love-spats, page a broken heart, page former customs and peculiarities among men, page sensible hints in choosing a partner, page safe hints, page marriage securities, page women who make the best wives, page adaptation, conjugal affection, and fatal errors, page first love, desertion and divorce, page flirting and its dangers, page a word to maidens, page popping the question, page the wedding, page advice to newly married couples, page sexual proprieties and improprieties, page how to perpetuate the honey-moon, page how to be a good wife, page how to be a good husband, page cause of family troubles, page jealousy--its cause and cure, page the improvement of offspring, page too many children, page small families and the improvement of the race, page the generative organs, page the female sexual organs, page the mysteries of the formation of life, page conception--its limitations, page prenatal influences, page vaginal cleanliness, page impotence and sterility, page producing boys or girls at will, page abortion or miscarriage, page the murder of innocents, page the unwelcome child, page health and disease, page preparation for maternity, page impregnation, page signs and symptoms of pregnancy, page diseases of pregnancy, page morning sickness, page relation of husband and wife during pregnancy, page a private word to the expectant mother, page shall pregnant women work?, page words for young mothers, page how to have beautiful children, page education of the child in the womb, page how to calculate the time of expected labor, page the signs and symptoms of labor, page special safeguards in confinement, page where did the baby come from?, page child bearing without pain, page solemn lessons for parents, page ten health rules for babies cut death rate in two, page the care of new-born infants, page nursing, page infantile convulsions, page feeding infants, page pains and ills in nursing, page home lessons in nursing sick children, page a table for feeding a baby on modified milk, page nursing [intervals table], page schedule for feeding healthy infants during first year [table], page how to keep a baby well, page how to preserve the health and life of your infant during hot weather, page infant teething, page home treatments for the diseases of infants and children, page diseases of women, page falling of the womb, page menstruation, page celebrated prescriptions for all diseases and how to use them, page how to cure apoplexy, bad breath and quinsy, page sensible rules for the nurse, page longevity, page how to apply and use hot water in all diseases, page practical rules for bathing, page all the different kinds of baths and how to prepare them, page digestibility of food, page how to cook for the sick, page save the girls, page save the boys, page the inhumanities of parents, page chastity and purity of chracter, page exciting the passions in children, page puberty, virility, and hygenic laws, page our secret sins, page physical and moral degeneracy, page immorality, disease, and death, page poisonous literature and bad pictures, page startling sins, page the prostitution of men, page the road to shame, page the curse of manhood, page a private talk to young men, page remedies for the social evil, page the selfish slaves of doses of disease and death, page object lessons of the effects of alcohol and smoking, page the destructive effects of cigarette smoking, page the dangerous vices, page nocturnal emissions, page lost manhood restored, page manhood wrecked and rescued, page the curse and consequence of secret diseases, page animal magnetism, page how to read character, page twilight sleep, page painless childbirth, page the diseases of women, page remedies for diseases of women, page alphabetical index, page * * * * * he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light. [illustration: "search me. oh thou great creator."] * * * * * knowledge is safety. . the old maxim, that "knowledge is power," is a true one, but there is still a greater truth: "knowledge is safety." safety amid physical ills that beset mankind, and safety amid the moral pitfalls that surround so many young people, is the great crying demand of the age. . criticism.--this work, though plain and to some extent startling, is chaste, practical and to the point, and will be a boon and a blessing to thousands who consult its pages. the world is full of ignorance, and the ignorant will always criticise, because they live to suffer ills, for they know no better. new light is fast falling upon the dark corners, and the eyes of many are being opened. . researches of science.--the researches of science in the past few years have thrown light on many facts relating to the physiology of man and woman, and the diseases to which they are subject, and consequently many reformations have taken place in the treatment and prevention of diseases peculiar to the sexes. . lock and key.--any information bearing upon the diseases of mankind should not be kept under lock and key. the physician is frequently called upon to speak in plain language to his patients upon some private and startling disease contracted on account of ignorance. the better plan, however, is to so educate and enlighten old and young upon the important subjects of health, so that the necessity to call a physician may occur less frequently. . progression.--a large, respectable, though diminishing class in every community, maintain that nothing that relates exclusively to either sex should become the subject of popular medical instruction. but such an opinion is radically wrong; ignorance is no more the mother of purity than it is of religion. enlightenment can never work injustice to him who investigates. . an example.--the men and women who study and practice medicine are not the worse, but the better for such knowledge; so it would be to the community in general if all would be properly instructed on the laws of health which relate to the sexes. . crime and degradation.--had every person a sound understanding on the relation of the sexes, one of the most fertile sources of crime and degradation would be removed. physicians know too well what sad consequences are constantly occurring from a lack of proper knowledge on these important subjects. . a consistent consideration.--let the reader of this work study its pages carefully and be able to give safe counsel and advice to others, and remember that purity of purpose and purity of character are the brightest jewels in the crown of immortality. [illustration: beginning right.] * * * * * the beginning of life. . the beginning.--there is a charm in opening manhood which has commended itself to the imagination in every age. the undefined hopes and promises of the future--the dawning strength of intellect--the vigorous flow of passion--the very exchange of home ties and protected joys for free and manly pleasures, give to this period an interest and excitement unfelt, perhaps, at any other. . the growth of independence.--hitherto life has been to boys, as to girls, a dependent existence--a sucker from the parent growth--a home discipline of authority and guidance and communicated impulse. but henceforth it is a transplanted growth of its own--a new and free power of activity in which the mainspring is no longer authority or law from without, but principle or opinion within. the shoot which has been nourished under the shelter of the parent stem, and bent according to its inclination, is transferred to the open world, where of its own impulse and character it must take root, and grow into strength, or sink into weakness and vice. . home ties.--the thought of home must excite a pang even in the first moments of freedom. its glad shelter--its kindly guidance--its very restraints, how dear and tender must they seem in parting! how brightly must they shine in the retrospect as the youth turns from them to the hardened and unfamiliar face of the world! with what a sweet sadly-cheering pathos they must linger in the memory! and then what chance and hazard is there in his newly-gotten freedom! what instincts of warning in its very novelty and dim inexperience! what possibilities of failure as well as of success in the unknown future as it stretches before him! . vice or virtue.--certainly there is a grave importance as well as a pleasant charm in the beginning of life. there is awe as well as excitement in it when rightly viewed. the possibilities that lie in it of noble or ignoble work--of happy self-sacrifice or ruinous self-indulgence--the capacities in the right use of which it may rise to heights of beautiful virtue, in the abuse of which it may sink to the depths of debasing vice--make the crisis one of fear as well as of hope, of sadness as well as of joy. . success or failure.--it is wistful as well as pleasing to think of the young passing year by year into the world, and engaging with its duties, its interests, and temptations. of the throng that struggle at the gates of entrance, how many may reach their anticipated goal? carry the mind forward a few years, and some have climbed the hills of difficulty and gained the eminence on which they wished to stand--some, although they may not have done this, have kept their truth unhurt, their integrity unspoiled; but others have turned back, or have perished by the way, or fallen in weakness of will, no more to rise again; victims or their own sin. . warning.--as we place ourselves with the young at the opening gates of life, and think of the end from the beginning, it is a deep concern more than anything else that fills us. words of earnest argument and warning counsel rather than of congratulation rise to our lips. . mistakes are often fatal.--begin well and the habit of doing well will become quite as easy as the habit of doing badly. "well begun is half ended," says the proverb: "and a good beginning is half the battle." many promising young men have irretrievably injured themselves by a first false step at the commencement of life; while others of much less promising talents, have succeeded simply by beginning well, and going onward. the good, practical beginning is to a certain extent, a pledge, a promise, and an assurance of the ultimate prosperous issue. there is many a poor creature, now crawling through life, miserable himself and the cause of sorrow to others, who might have lifted up his head and prospered, if, instead of merely satisfying himself with resolutions of well-doing, he had actually gone to work and made a good, practical beginning. . begin at the right place.--too many are, however, impatient of results. they are not satisfied to begin where their fathers did, but where they left off. they think to enjoy the fruits of industry without working for them. they cannot wait for the results of labor and application, but forestall them by too early indulgence. * * * * * health a duty. perhaps nothing will so much hasten the time when body and mind will both be adequately cared for, as a diffusion of the belief that the preservation of health is a duty. few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality. men's habitual words and acts imply that they are at liberty to treat their bodies as they please. disorder entailed by disobedience to nature's dictates they regard as grievances, not as the effects of a conduct more or less flagitious. though the evil consequences inflicted on their descendents and on future generations are often as great as those caused by crime, they do not think themselves in any degree criminal. it is true that in the case of drunkenness the viciousness of a bodily transgression is recognized; but none appear to infer that if this bodily transgression is vicious, so too is every bodily transgression. the fact is, all breaches of the law of health are physical sins. when this is generally seen, then, and perhaps not till then, will the physical training of the young receive all the attention it deserves. purity of life and thought should be taught in the home. it is the only safeguard of the young. let parents wake up on this important subject. [illustration: gladstone.] * * * * * value of reputation. . who shall estimate the cost.--who shall estimate the cost of a priceless reputation--that impress which gives this human dross its currency--without which we stand despised, debased, depreciated? who shall repair it injured? who can redeem it lost? oh, well and truly does the great philosopher of poetry esteem the world's wealth as "trash" in the comparison. without it gold has no value; birth, no distinction; station, no dignity; beauty, no charm; age, no reverence; without it every treasure impoverishes, every grace deforms, every dignity degrades, and all the arts, the decorations and accomplishments of life stand, like the beacon-blaze upon a rock, warning the world that its approach is dangerous; that its contact is death. . the wretch without it.--the wretch without it is under eternal quarantine; no friend to greet; no home to harbor him, the voyage of his life becomes a joyless peril, and in the midst of all ambition can achieve, or avarice amass, or rapacity plunder, he tosses on the surge, a buoyant pestilence. but let me not degrade into selfishness of individual safety or individual exposure this individual principle; it testifies a higher, a more ennobling origin. . its divinity.--oh, divine, oh, delightful legacy of a spotless reputation: rich is the inheritance it leaves; pious the example it testifies; pure, precious and imperishable, the hope which it inspires; can there be conceived a more atrocious injury than to filch from its possessor this inestimable benefit to rob society of its charm, and solitude of its solace; not only to out-law life, but attain death, converting the very grave, the refuge of the sufferer, into the gate of infamy and of shame. . lost character.--we can conceive few crimes beyond it. he who plunders my property takes from me that which can be repaired by time; but what period can repair a ruined reputation? he who maims my person effects that which medicine may remedy; but what herb has sovereignty over the wounds of slander? he who ridicules my poverty or reproaches my profession, upbraids me with that which industry may retrieve, and integrity may purify; but what riches shall redeem the bankrupt fame? what power shall blanch the sullied show of character? there can be no injury more deadly. there can be no crime more cruel. it is without remedy. it is without antidote. it is without evasion. [illustration: gathering wild flowers.] * * * * * influence of associates. if you always live with those who are lame, you will learn to limp.--from the latin. if men wish to be held in esteem, they must associate with those who are estimable.--la bruyere. . by what men are known.--an author is known by his writings, a mother by her daughter, a fool by his words, and all men by their companions. . formation of a good character.--intercourse with persons of decided virtue and excellence is of great importance in the formation of a good character. the force of example is powerful; we are creatures of imitation, and, by a necessary influence, our tempers and habits are very much formed on the model of those with whom we familiarly associate. better be alone than in bad company. evil communications corrupt good manners. ill qualities are catching as well as diseases; and the mind is at least as much, if not a great deal more, liable to infection, than the body. go with mean people, and you think life is mean. . good example.--how natural is it for a child to look up to those around him for an example of imitation, and how readily does he copy all that he sees done, good or bad. the importance of a good example on which the young may exercise this powerful and active element of their nature, is a matter of the utmost moment. . a true maxim.--it is a trite, but true maxim, that "a man is known by the company he keeps." he naturally assimilates by the force of imitation, to the habits and manners of those by whom he is surrounded. we know persons who walk much with the lame, who have learned to walk with a hitch or limp like their lame friends. vice stalks in the streets unabashed, and children copy it. . live with the culpable.--live with the culpable, and you will be very likely to die with the criminal. bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which after the first or second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty; but being once driven in up to the head, the pinchers cannot take hold to draw it out, which can only be done by the destruction of the wood. you may be ever so pure, you cannot associate with bad companions without falling into bad odor. . society of the vulgar.--do you love the society of the vulgar? then you are already debased in your sentiments. do you seek to be with the profane? in your heart you are like them. are jesters and buffoons your choice friends? he who loves to laugh at folly is himself a fool. do you love and seek the society of the wise and good? is this your habit? had you rather take the lowest seat among these than the highest seat among others? then you have already learned to be good. you may not make very much progress, but even a good beginning is not to be despised. . sinks of pollution.--strive for mental excellence, and strict integrity, and you never will be found in the sinks of pollution, and on the benches of retailers and gamblers. once habituate yourself to a virtuous course, once secure a love of good society, and no punishment would be greater than by accident to be obliged for half a day to associate with the low and vulgar. try to frequent the company of your betters. . procure no friend in haste.--nor, if once secured, in haste abandon them. be slow in choosing an associate, and slower to change him; slight no man for poverty, nor esteem any one for his wealth. good friends should not be easily forgotten, nor used as suits of apparel, which, when we have worn them threadbare, we cast them off, and call for new. when once you profess yourself a friend, endeaver to be always such. he can never have any true friends that will be often changing them. . have the courage to cut the most agreeable acquaintance.--do this when you are convinced that he lacks principle; a friend should bear with a friend's infirmities, but not with his vices. he that does a base thing in zeal for his friend, burns the golden thread that ties their hearts together. * * * * * self-control. "honor and profit do not always lie in the same sack."--george herbert. "the government of one's self is the only true freedom for the individual."--frederick perthes. "it is length of patience, and endurance, and forbearance that so much of what is called good in mankind and womankind is shown."--arthur helps. . essence of character.--self-control is only courage under another form. it may also be regarded as the primary essence of character. it is in virtue of this quality that shakespeare defines man as a being "looking before and after." it forms the chief distinction between man and the mere animal; and, indeed, there can be no true manhood without it. [illustration: result of bad company.] . root of all the virtues.--self-control is at the root of all the virtues. let a man give the reins to his impulses and passions, and from that moment he yields up his moral freedom. he is carried along the current of life, and becomes the slave of his strongest desire for the time being. . resist instinctive impulse.--to be morally free--to be more than an animal--man must be able to resist instinctive impulse, and this can only be done by exercise of self-control. thus it is this power which constitutes the real distinction between a physical and a moral life, and that forms the primary basis of individual character. . a strong man ruleth his own spirit.--in the bible praise is given, not to a strong man who "taketh a city," but to the stronger man who "ruleth his own spirit." this stronger man is he who, by discipline, exercises a constant control over his thoughts, his speech, and his acts. nine-tenths of the vicious desires that degrade society, and which, when indulged, swell into the crimes that disgrace it, would shrink into insignificance before the advance of valiant self-discipline, self-respect, and self-control. by the watchful exercise of these virtues, purity of heart and mind become habitual, and the character is built up in chastity, virtue, and temperance. . the best support.--the best support of character will always be found in habit, which, according as the will is directed rightly or wrongly, as the case may be, will prove either a benignant ruler, or a cruel despot. we may be its willing subject on the one hand, or its servile slave on the other. it may help us on the road to good, or it may hurry us on the road to ruin. . the ideal man.--"in the supremacy of self-control," says herbert spencer, "consists one of the perfections of the ideal man. not to be impulsive, not to be spurred hither and thither by each desire that in turn comes upper-most, but to be self-restrained, self-balanced, governed by the joint decision of the feelings in council assembled, before whom every action shall have been fully debated, and calmly determined--that it is which education, moral education at least, strives to produce." . the best regulated home.--the best regulated home is always that in which the discipline is the most perfect, and yet where it is the least felt. moral discipline acts with the force of a law of nature. those subject to it yield themselves to it unconsciously; and though it shapes and forms the whole character, until the life becomes crystallized in habit, the influence thus exercised is for the most part unseen and almost unfelt. . practice self-denial.--if a man would get through life honorably and peaceably, he must necessarily learn to practice self-denial in small things as well as in great. men have to bear as well as to forbear. the temper has to be held in subjection to the judgment; and the little demons of ill-humor, petulance, and sarcasm, kept resolutely at a distance. if once they find an entrance to the mind, they are apt to return, and to establish for themselves a permanent occupation there. . power of words.--it is necessary to one's personal happiness, to exercise control over one's words as well as acts: for there are words that strike even harder than blows; and men may "speak daggers," though they use none. the stinging repartee that rises to the lips, and which, if uttered, might cover an adversary with confusion, how difficult it is to resist saying it! "heaven, keep us," says miss bremer, in her 'home', "from the destroying power of words! there are words that sever hearts more than sharp swords do; there are words the point of which sting the heart through the course of a whole life." . character exhibits itself.--character exhibits itself in self-control of speech as much as in anything else. the wise and forbearant man will restrain his desire to say a smart or severe thing at the expense of another's feeling; while the fool blurts out what he thinks, and will sacrifice his friend rather than his joke. "the mouth of a wise man," said solomon, "is in his heart; the heart of a fool is in his mouth." . burns.--no one knew the value of self-control better than the poet burns, and no one could teach it more eloquently to others, but when it came to practice, burns was as weak as the weakest. he could not deny himself the pleasure of uttering a harsh and clever sarcasm at another's expense. one of his biographers observed of him, that it was no extravagant arithmetic to say that for every ten jokes he made himself a hundred enemies. but this was not all. poor burns exercised no control over his appetites, but freely gave them the rein: "thus thoughtless follies laid him low, and stained his name." . sow pollution.--nor had he the self-denial to resist giving publicity to compositions originally intended for the delight of the tap-room, but which continued secretly to sow pollution broadcast in the minds of youth. indeed, notwithstanding the many exquisite poems of this writer, it is not saying too much that his immoral writings have done far more harm than his purer writings have done good; and it would be better that all his writings should be destroyed and forgotten, provided his indecent songs could be destroyed with them. . moral principle.--many of our young men lack moral principle. they cannot look upon a beautiful girl with a pure heart and pure thoughts. they have not manifested or practiced that self-control which develops true manhood and brings into subordination evil thoughts, evil passions, and evil practices. men who have no self-control will find life a failure, both in a social and in a business sense. the world despises an insignificant person who lacks backbone and character. stand upon your manhood and womanhood; honor your convictions, and dare to do right. . strong drink.--there is the habit of strong drink. it is only the lack of self-control that brings men into the depths of degradation; on account of the cup, the habit of taking drink occasionally in its milder forms--of playing with a small appetite that only needs sufficient playing with to make you a demon or a dolt. you think you are safe; i know you are not safe, if you drink at all; and when you get offended with the good friends that warn you of your danger, you are a fool. i know that the grave swallows daily, by scores, drunkards, every one of whom thought he was safe while he was forming his appetite. but this is old talk. a young man in this age who forms the habit of drinking, or puts himself in danger of forming the habit, is usually so weak that he does not realize the consequences. [illustration: lost self-control.] * * * * * habit. it is almost as difficult to make a man unlearn his errors as his knowledge.--colton. there are habits contracted by bad example, or bad management, before we have judgment to discern their approaches, or because the eye of reason is laid asleep, or has not compass of view sufficient to look around on every quarter.--tucker. . habit.--our real strength in life depends upon habits formed in early life. the young man who sows his wild oats and indulges in the social cup, is fastening chains upon himself that never can be broken. the innocent youth by solitary practice of self-abuse will fasten upon himself a habit which will wreck his physical constitution and bring suffering and misery and ruin. young man and young woman, beware of bad habits formed in early life. . a bundle of habits.--man, it has been said, is a bundle of habits; and habit is second nature. metastasio entertained so strong an opinion as to the power of repetition in act and thought, that he said, "all is habit in mankind, even virtue itself." evil habits must be conquered, or they will conquer us and destroy our peace and happiness. . vicious habits.--vicious habits, when opposed, offer the most vigorous resistence on the first attack. at each successive encounter this resistence grows fainter and fainter, until finally it ceases altogether and the victory is achieved. habit is man's best friend and worst enemy; it can exalt him to the highest pinnacle of virtue, honor and happiness, or sink him to the lowest depths of vice, shame and misery. . honesty, or knavery.--we may form habits of honesty, or knavery; truth, or falsehood; of industry, or idleness; frugality, or extravagance; of patience, or impatience; self-denial, or self-indulgence; of kindness, cruelty, politeness, rudeness, prudence, perseverance, circumspection. in short, there, is not a virtue, nor a vice; not an act of body, nor of mind, to which we may not be chained down by this despotic power. . begin well.--it is a great point for young men to begin well; for it is the beginning of life that that system of conduct is adopted which soon assumes the force of habit. begin well, and the habit of doing well will become quite easy, as easy as the habit of doing badly. pitch upon that course of life which is the most excellent, and habit will render it the most delightful. * * * * * a good name. . the longing for a good name.--the longing for a good name is one of those laws of nature that were passed for the soul and written down within to urge toward a life of action, and away from small or wicked action. so large is this passion that it is set forth in poetic thought, as having a temple grand as that of jupiter or minerva, and up whose marble steps all noble minds struggle--the temple of fame. . civilization.--civilization is the ocean of which the millions of individuals are the rivers and torrents. these rivers and torrents swell with those rains of money and home and fame and happiness, and then fall and run almost dry, but the ocean of civilization has gathered up all these waters, and holds them in sparkling beauty for all subsequent use. civilization is a fertile delta made by the drifting souls of men. . fame.--the word "fame" never signifies simply notoriety. the meaning of the direct term may be seen from its negation or opposite, for only the meanest of men are called infamous. they are utterly without fame, utterly nameless; but if fame implied only notoriety, then infamous would possess no marked significance. fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but who bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals and follows them to the grave. . life-motive.--so in studying that life-motive which is called a "good name," we must ask the large human race to tell us the high merit of this spiritual longing. we must read the words of the sage, who said long centuries ago that "a good name was rather chosen than great riches." other sages have said as much. solon said that "he that will sell his good name will sell the state." socrates said, "fame is the perfume of heroic deeds." our shakespeare said, "he lives in fame who died in virtue's cause." . influences of our age.--our age is deeply influenced by the motives called property and home and pleasure, but it is a question whether the generation in action today and the generation on the threshold of this intense life are conscious fully of the worth of an honorable name. . beauty of character.--we do not know whether with us all a good name is less sweet than it was with our fathers, but this is painfully evident that our times do not sufficiently behold the beauty of character--their sense does not detect quickly enough or love deeply enough this aroma of heroic deeds. . selling out their reputation.--it is amazing what multitudes there are who are willing to sell out their reputation, and amazing at what a low price they will make the painful exchange. some king remarked that he would not tell a lie for any reward less than an empire. it is not uncommon in our world for a man to sell out all his honor and hopes for a score or a half score of dollars. . prisons overflowing.--our prisons are all full to overflowing of those who took no thought of honor. they have not waited for an empire to be offered them before they would violate the sacred rights of man, but many of them have even murdered for a cause that would not have justified even an exchange of words. . integrity the pride of the government.--if integrity were made the pride of the government, the love of it would soon spring up among the people. if all fraudulent men should go straight to jail, pitilessly, and if all the most rigid characters were sought out for all political and commercial offices, there would soon come a popular honesty just as there has come a love of reading or of art. it is with character as with any new article--the difficulty lies in its first introduction. . a new virtue.--may a new virtue come into favor, all our high rewards, those from the ballot-box, those from employers, the rewards of society, the rewards of the press, should be offered only to the worthy. a few years of rewarding the worthy would result in a wonderful zeal in the young to build up, not physical property, but mental and spiritual worth. . blessing the family group.--no young man or young woman can by industry and care reach an eminence in study or art or character, without blessing the entire family group. we have all seen that the father and mother feel that all life's care and labor were at last perfectly rewarded in the success of their child. but had the child been reckless or indolent, all this domestic joy--the joy of a large group--would have been blighted forever. . an honored child.--there have been triumphs at old rome, where victors marched along with many a chariot, many an elephant, and many spoils of the east; and in all times money has been lavished in the efforts of states to tell their pleasure in the name of some general; but more numerous and wide-spread and beyond expression, by chariot or cannon or drum, have been those triumphal hours, when some son or daughter has returned to the parental hearth beautiful in the wreaths of some confessed excellence, bearing a good name. . rich criminals.--we looked at the utter wretchedness of the men who threw away reputation, and would rather be rich criminals in exile than be loved friends and persons at home. . an empty, or an evil name.--young and old cannot afford to bear the burden of an empty or an evil name. a good name is a motive of life. it is a reason for that great encampment we call an existence. while you are building the home of to-morrow, build up also that kind of soul that can sleep sweetly on home's pillow, and can feel that god is not near as an avenger of wrong, but as the father not only of the verdure and the seasons, but of you. [illustration: an egyptian dancer.] * * * * * the mother's influence. mother, o mother, my heart calls for you, many a summer the grass has grown green, blossomed and faded, our faces between; yet with strong yearning and passionate pain, long i to-night for your presence again. --_elizabeth akers allen._ a mother is a mother still, the holiest thing alive. --_coleridge._ there is none, in all this cold and hollow world, no fount of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within a mother's heart. --_mrs. hemans._ and all my mother came into mine eyes, and gave me up to tears. --_shakespeare._ . her influence.--it is true to nature, although it be expressed in a figurative form, that a mother is both the morning and the evening star of life. the light of her eye is always the first to rise, and often the last to set upon man's day of trial. she wields a power more decisive far than syllogisms in argument or courts of last appeal in authority. . her love.--mother! ecstatic sound so twined round our hearts that they must cease to throb ere we forget it; 'tis our first love; 'tis part of religion. nature has set the mother upon such a pinnacle that our infant eyes and arms are first uplifted to it; we cling to it in manhood; we almost worship it in old age. . her tenderness.--alas! how little do we appreciate a mother's tenderness while living. how heedless are we in youth of all her anxieties and kindness! but when she is dead and gone, when the cares and coldness of the world come withering to our hearts, when we experience for ourselves how hard it is to find true sympathy, how few to love us, how few will befriend us in misfortune, then it is that we think of the mother we have lost. . her controlling power.--the mother can take man's whole nature under her control. she becomes what she has been called "the divinity of infancy." her smile is its sunshine, her word its mildest law, until sin and the world have steeled the heart. [illustration: a prayerful and devoted mother.] . the last tie.--the young man who has forsaken the advice and influence of his mother has broken the last cable and severed the last tie that binds him to an honorable and upright life. he has forsaken his best friend, and every hope for his future welfare may be abandoned, for he is lost forever, if he is faithless to mother, he will have but little respect for wife and children. . home ties.--the young man or young woman who love their home and love their mother can be safely trusted under almost any and all circumstances, and their life will not be a blank, for they seek what is good. their hearts will be ennobled, and god will bless them. [illustration: home amusements.] * * * * * home power. "the mill-streams that turn the clappers of the world arise in solitary places."--helps. "lord! with what care hast thou begirt us round! parents first season us. then schoolmasters deliver us to laws. they send us bound to rules of reason."--george herbert. . school of character.--home is the first and most important school of character. it is there that every human being receives his best moral training, or his worst, for it is there that he imbibes those principles of conduct which endure through manhood, and cease only with life. . home makes the man.--it is a common saying, "manners make the man;" and there is a second, that "mind makes the man;" but truer than either is a third, that "home makes the man." for the home-training includes not only manners and mind, but character. it is mainly in the home that the heart is opened, the habits are formed, the intellect is awakened, and character moulded for good or for evil. . govern society.--from that source, be it pure or impure, issue the principles and maxims that govern society. law itself is but the reflex of homes. the tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of children in private life afterwards issue forth to the world, and become its public opinion; for nations are gathered out of nurseries, and they who hold the leading-strings of children may even exercise a greater power than those who wield the reins of government. . the child is father of the man.--the child's character is the nucleus of the man's; all after-education is but superposition; the form of the crystal remains the same. thus the saying of the poet holds true in a large degree, "the child is father of the man;" or as milton puts it, "the childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day." those impulses to conduct which last the longest and are rooted the deepest, always have their origin near our birth. it is then that the germs of virtues or vices, of feelings or sentiments, are first implanted which determine the character of life. . nurseries.--thus homes, which are nurseries of children who grow up into men and women, will be good or bad according to the power that governs them. where the spirit of love and duty pervades the home, where head and heart bear rule wisely there, where the daily life is honest and virtuous, where the government is sensible, kind, and loving, then may we expect from such a home an issue of healthy, useful, and happy beings, capable as they gain the requisite strength, of following the footsteps of their parents, of walking uprightly, governing themselves wisely, and contributing to the welfare of those about them. . ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness.--on the other hand, if surrounded by ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness, they will unconsciously assume the same character, and grow up to adult years rude, uncultivated, and all the more dangerous to society if placed amidst the manifold temptations of what is called civilized life. "give your child to be educated by a slave," said an ancient greek "and, instead of one slave, you will then have two." . maternal love.--maternal love is the visible providence of our race. its influence is constant and universal. it begins with the education of the human being at the outstart of life, and is prolonged by virtue of the powerful influence which every good mother exercises over her children through life. when launched into the world, each to take part in its labors, anxieties, and trials, they still turn to their mother for consolation, if not for counsel, in their time of trouble and difficulty. the pure and good thoughts she has implanted in their minds when children continue to grow up into good acts long after she is dead; and when there is nothing but a memory of her left, her children rise up and call her blessed. . woman, above all other educators, educates humanly. man is the brain, but woman is the heart of humanity; he its judgment, she its feeling; he its strength, she its grace, ornament and solace. even the understanding of the best woman seems to work mainly through her affections. and thus, though man may direct the intellect, woman cultivates the feelings, which mainly determine the character. while he fills the memory, she occupies the heart. she makes us love what he can make us only believe, and it is chiefly through her that we are enabled to arrive at virtue. . the poorest dwelling, presided over by a virtuous, thrifty, cheerful, and cleanly woman may thus be the abode of comfort, virtue and happiness; it may be the scene of every enobling relation in family life; it may be endeared to man by many delightful associations; furnishing a sanctuary for the heart, a refuge from the storms of life, a sweet resting-place after labor, a consolation in misfortune, a pride in prosperity and a joy at all times. . the good home is thus the best of schools, not only in youth but in age. there young and old best learn cheerfulness, patience, self-control, and the spirit of service and of duty. the home is the true school of courtesy, of which woman is always the best practical instructor. "without woman," says the provencal proverb, "men were but ill-licked cubs." philanthropy radiates from the home as from a center. "to love the little platoon we belong to in society," said burke, "is the germ of all public affections." the wisest and best have not been ashamed to own it to be their greatest joy and happiness to sit "behind the heads of children" in the inviolable circle of home. [illustration] [illustration: day dreaming.] * * * * * to young women. . to be a woman, in the truest and highest sense of the word is to be the best thing beneath the skies. to be a woman is something more than to live eighteen or twenty years; something more than to grow to the physical stature of women; something more than to wear flounces, exhibit dry goods, sport jewelry, catch the gaze of lewd-eyed men; something more than to be a belle, a wife, or a mother. put all these qualifications together and they do but little toward making a true woman. . beauty and style are not the surest passports to womanhood--some of the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen have presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance. a woman's worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart, the greatness of her soul, and the purity and sweetness of her character; and a woman with a kindly disposition and well-balanced temper is both lovely and attractive, be her face ever so plain, and her figure ever so homely; she makes the best of wives and the truest of mothers. . beauty is a dangerous gift.--it is even so. like wealth, it has ruined its thousands. thousands of the most beautiful women are destitute of common sense and common humanity. no gift from heaven is so general and so widely abused by woman as the gift of beauty. in about nine cases in ten it makes her silly, senseless, thoughtless, giddy, vain, proud, frivolous, selfish, low and mean. i think i have seen more girls spoiled by beauty than by any other one thing, "she is beautiful, and she knows it," is as much as to say that she is spoiled. a beautiful girl is very likely to believe she was made to be looked at; and so she sets herself up for a show at every window, in every door, on every corner of the street, in every company at which opportunity offers for an exhibition of herself. . beware of beautiful women.--these facts have long since taught sensible men to beware of beautiful women--to sound them carefully before they give them their confidence. beauty is shallow--only skin deep; fleeting--only for a few years' reign; dangerous--tempting to vanity and lightness of mind; deceitful--dazzling of ten to bewilder; weak--reigning only to ruin; gross--leading often to sensual pleasure. and yet we say it need not be so. beauty is lovely and ought to be innocently possessed. it has charms which ought to be used for good purposes. it is a delightful gift, which ought to be received with gratitude and worn with grace and meekness. it should always minister to inward beauty. every woman of beautiful form and features should cultivate a beautiful mind and heart. . rival the boys.--we want the girls to rival the boys in all that is good, and refined, and ennobling. we want them to rival the boys, as they well can, in learning, in understanding, in virtues; in all noble qualities of mind and heart, but not in any of those things that have caused them, justly or unjustly, to be described as savages. we want the girls to be gentle--not weak, but gentle, and kind and affectionate. we want to be sure, that wherever a girl is, there should be a sweet, subduing and harmonizing influence of purity, and truth, and love, pervading and hallowing, from center to circumference, the entire circle in which she moves. if the boys are savages, we want her to be their civilizer. we want her to tame them, to subdue their ferocity, to soften their manners, and to teach them all needful lessons of order, sobriety, and meekness, and patience and goodness. . kindness.--kindness is the ornament of man--it is the chief glory of woman--it is, indeed, woman's true prerogative--her sceptre and her crown. it is the sword with which she conquers, and the charm with which she captivates. . admired and beloved.--young lady, would you be admired and beloved? would you be an ornament to your sex, and a blessing to your race? cultivate this heavenly virtue. wealth may surround you with its blandishments, and beauty, and learning, or talents, may give you admirers, but love and kindness alone can captivate the heart. whether you live in a cottage or a palace, these graces can surround you with perpetual sunshine, making you, and all around you, happy. . inward grace.--seek ye then, fair daughters, the possession of that inward grace, whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the affections, adorn the countenance make mellifluous the voice, and impart a hallowed beauty even to your motions. not merely that you may be loved, would i urge this, but that you may, in truth, be lovely--that loveliness which fades not with time, nor is marred or alienated by disease, but which neither chance nor change can in any way despoil. . silken enticements of the stranger.--we urge you, gentle maiden, to beware of the silken enticements of the stranger, until your love is confirmed by protracted acquaintance. shun the idler, though his coffers overflow with pelf. avoid the irreverent--the scoffer of hallowed things; and him who "looks upon the wine while it is red;" him too, "who hath a high look and a proud heart," and who "privily slandereth his neighbor." do not heed the specious prattle about "first love," and so place, irrevocably, the seal upon your future destiny, before you have sounded, in silence and secrecy, the deep fountains of your own heart. wait, rather, until your own character and that of him who would woo you, is more fully developed. surely, if this "first love" cannot endure a short probation, fortified by "the pleasures of hope," how can it be expected to survive years of intimacy, scenes of trial, distracting cares, wasting sickness, and all the homely routine of practical life? yet it is these that constitute life, and the love that cannot abide them is false and must die. [illustration: roman ladies.] * * * * * influence of female character. . moral effect.--it is in its moral effect on the mind and the heart of man, that the influence of woman is most powerful and important. in the diversity of tastes, habits, inclinations, and pursuits of the two sexes, is found a most beneficent provision for controlling the force and extravagance of human passion. the objects which most strongly seize and stimulate the mind of man, rarely act at the same time and with equal power on the mind of woman. she is naturally better, purer, and more chaste in thought and language. . female character.--but the influence of female character on the virtue of men, is not seen merely in restraining and softening the violence of human passion. to her is mainly committed the task of pouring into the opening mind of infancy its first impressions of duty, and of stamping on its susceptible heart the first image of its god. who will not confess the influence of a mother in forming the heart of a child? what man is there who can not trace the origin of many of the best maxims of his life to the lips of her who gave him birth? how wide, how lasting, how sacred is that part of a woman's influence. . virtue of a community.--there is yet another mode by which woman may exert a powerful influence on the virtue of a community. it rests with her in a pre-eminent degree, to give tone and elevation to the moral character of the age, by deciding the degree of virtue that shall be necessary to afford a passport to her society. if all the favor of woman were given only to the good, if it were known that the charms and attractions of beauty and wisdom, and wit, were reserved only for the pure; if, in one word, something of a similar rigor were exerted to exclude the profligate and abandoned of society, as is shown to those, who have fallen from virtue,--how much would be done to re-enforce the motives to moral purity among us, and impress on the minds of all a reverence for the sanctity and obligations of virtue. . the influence of woman on the moral sentiments.--the influence of woman on the moral sentiments of society is intimately connected with her influence on its religious character; for religion and a pure and elevated morality must ever stand in the relation to each other of effect and cause. the heart of a woman is formed for the abode of sacred truth; and for the reasons alike honorable to her character and to that of society. from the nature of humanity this must be so, or the race would soon degenerate and moral contagion eat out the heart of society. the purity of home is the safeguard to american manhood. [illustration] * * * * * personal purity. "self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control, these three alone lead life to sovereign power."--tennyson . words of the great teacher.--mark the words of the great teacher: "if thy right hand or foot cause thee to fall, cut it off and cast it from thee. if thy right eye cause thee to fall, pluck it out. it is better for thee to enter into life maimed and halt, than having two eyes to be cast into hell-fire, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched." . a melancholy fact.--it is a melancholy fact in human experience, that the noblest gifts which men possess are constantly prostituted to other purposes than those for which they are designed. the most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest dishonor, abuse, and corruption. what a snare the wonderful organism of the eye may become, when used to read corrupt books, or to look upon licentious pictures, or vulgar theater scenes, or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! what an instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain, the hand, the mouth, or the tongue! what potent instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole being, for time and eternity! . abstinence.--some can testify with thankfulness that they never knew the sins of gambling, drunkenness, fornication, or adultery. in all these cases abstinence has been, and continues to be, liberty. restraint is the noblest freedom. no man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him; on the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing. solemnly ask young men to remember this when temptation and passion strive as a floodtide to move them from the anchorage and peace of self-restraint. beware of the deceitful stream of temporary gratification, whose eddying current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death. remember how quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment! . frank discussion.--the time has arrived for a full and frank discussion of those things which affect the personal purity. thousands are suffering to-day from various weaknesses, the causes of which they have never learned. manly vigor is not increasing with that rapidity which a christian age demands. means of dissipation are on the increase. it is high time, therefore, that every lover of the race should call a halt, and inquire into the condition of things. excessive modesty on this subject is not virtue. timidity in presenting unpleasant but important truths has permitted untold damage in every age. . man is a careless being.--he is very much inclined to sinful things. he more often does that which is wrong than that which is right, because it is easier, and, for the moment, perhaps, more satisfying to the flesh. the creator is often blamed for man's weaknesses and inconsistencies. this is wrong. god did not intend that we should be mere machines, but free moral agents. we are privileged to choose between good and evil. hence, if we perseveringly choose the latter, and make a miserable failure of life, we should blame only ourselves. . the pulpit.--would that every pulpit in the land might join hands with the medical profession and cry out with no uncertain sound against the mighty evils herein stigmatized! it would work a revolution for which coming society could never cease to be grateful. . strive to attain a higher life.--strive to attain unto a higher and better life. beware of all excesses, of whatever nature, and guard your personal purity with sacred determination. let every aspiration be upward, and be strong in every good, resolution. seek the light, for in light there is life, while in darkness there is decay and death. [illustration: the first love letter.] [illustration] * * * * * how to write all kinds of letters. . from the president in his cabinet to the laborer in the street; from the lady in her parlor to the servant in her kitchen; from the millionaire to the beggar; from the emigrant to the settler; from every country and under every combination of circumstances, letter writing in all its forms and varieties is most important to the advancement, welfare and happiness of the human family. . education.--the art of conveying thought through the medium of written language is so valuable and so necessary, a thorough knowledge of the practice must be desirable to every one. for merely to write a good letter requires the exercise of much of the education and talent of any writer. . a good letter.--a good letter must be correct in every mechanical detail, finished in style, interesting in substance, and intelligible in construction. few there are who do not need write them; yet a letter perfect in detail is rarer than any other specimen of composition. . penmanship.--it is folly to suppose that the faculty for writing a good hand is confined to any particular persons. there is no one who can write at all, but what can write well, if only the necessary pains are practiced. practice makes perfect. secure a few copy books and write an hour each day. you will soon write a good hand. . write plainly.--every word of even the most trifling document should be written in such clear characters that it would be impossible to mistake it for another word, or the writer may find himself in the position of the eastern merchant who, writing to the indies for five thousand mangoes, received by the next vessel five hundred monkies, with a promise of more in the next cargo. . haste.--hurry is no excuse for bad writing, because any one of sense knows that everything hurried is liable to be ruined. dispatch may be acquired, but hurry will ruin everything. if, however, you must write slowly to write well, then be careful not to hurry at all, for the few moments you will gain by rapid writing will never compensate you for the disgrace of sending an ill-written letter. . neatness.--neatness is also of great importance. a fair white sheet with handsomely written words will be more welcome to any reader than a blotted, bedaubed page covered with erasures and dirt, even if the matter in each be of equal value and interest. erasures, blots, interlineations always spoil the beauty of any letter. . bad spelling.--when those who from faulty education, or forgetfulness are doubtful about the correct spelling of any word, it is best to keep a dictionary at hand, and refer to it upon such occasions. it is far better to spend a few moments in seeking for a doubtful word, than to dispatch an ill-spelled letter, and the search will probably impress the spelling upon the mind for a future occasion. . carelessness.--incorrect spelling will expose the most important or interesting letter to the severest sarcasm and ridicule. however perfect in all other respects, no epistle that is badly spelled will be regarded as the work of an educated gentleman or lady. carelessness will never be considered, and to be ignorant of spelling is to expose an imperfect education at once. . an excellent practice.--after writing a letter, read it over carefully, correct all the errors and re-write it. if you desire to become a good letter writer, improve your penmanship, improve your language and grammar, re-writing once or twice every letter that you have occasion to write, whether on social or business subjects. . punctuation.--a good rule for punctuation is to punctuate where the sense requires it, after writing a letter and reading it over carefully you will see where the punctuation marks are required, you can readily determine where the sense requires it, so that your letter will convey the desired meaning. [illustration] . correspondence.--there is no better school or better source for self-improvement than a pleasant correspondence between friends. it is not at all difficult to secure a good list of correspondents if desired. the young people who take advantage of such opportunities for self-improvement will be much more popular in the community and in society. letter writing cultivates the habit of study; it cultivates the mind, the heart, and stimulates self-improvement in general. . folding.--another bad practice with those unaccustomed to corresponding is to fold the sheet of writing in such a fantastic manner as to cause the receiver much annoyance in opening it. to the sender it may appear a very ingenious performance, but to the receiver it is only a source of vexation and annoyance, and may prevent the communication receiving the attention it would otherwise merit. . simple style.--the style of letter writing should be simple and unaffected, not raised on stilts and indulging in pedantic displays which are mostly regarded as cloaks of ignorance. repeated literary quotations, involved sentences, long-sounding words and scraps of latin, french and other languages are, generally speaking, out of place, and should not be indulged in. . the result.--a well written letter has opened the way to prosperity for many a one, has led to many a happy marriage and constant friendship, and has secured many a good service in time of need; for it is in some measure a photograph of the writer, and may inspire love or hatred, regard or aversion in the reader, just as the glimpse of a portrait often determine us, in our estimate, of the worth of the person represented. therefore, one of the roads to fortune runs through the ink bottle, and if we want to attain a certain end in love, friendship or business, we must trace out the route correctly with the pen in our hand. [illustration] * * * * * how to write a love letter. . love.--there is no greater or more profound reality than love. why that reality should be obscured by mere sentimentalism, with all its train of absurdities is incomprehensible. there is no nobler possession than the love of another. there is no higher gift from one human being to another than love. the gift and the possession are true sanctifiers of life, and should be worn as precious jewels, without affectation and without bashfulness. for this reason there is nothing to be ashamed of in a love letter, provided it be sincere. . forfeits.--no man need consider that he forfeits dignity if he speaks with his whole heart: no woman need fear she forfeits her womanly attributes if she responds as her heart bids her respond. "perfect love casteth out fear" is as true now as when the maxim was first given to the world. . telling their love.--the generality of the sex is, love to be loved; how are they to know the fact that they are loved unless they are told? to write a sensible love letter requires more talent than to solve, with your pen, a profound problem in philosophy. lovers must not then expect much from each other's epistles. . confidential.--ladies and gentlemen who correspond with each other should never be guilty of exposing any of the contents of any letters written expressing confidence, attachment or love. the man who confides in a lady and honors her with his confidence should be treated with perfect security and respect, and those who delight in showing their confidential letters to others are unworthy, heartless and unsafe companions. . return of letters.--if letters were written under circumstances which no longer exist and all confidential relations are at an end, then all letters should be promptly returned. . how to begin a love letter.--how to begin a love letter has been no doubt the problem of lovers and suitors of all ages and nations. fancy the youth of young america with lifted pen, thinking how he shall address his beloved. much depends upon this letter. what shall he say, and how shall he say it, is the great question. perseverance, however, will solve the problem and determine results. . forms of beginning a love letter.--never say, "my dearest nellie," "my adored nellie," or "my darling nellie," until nellie has first called you "my dear," or has given you to understand that such familiar terms are permissible. as a rule a gentleman will never err if he says "dear miss nellie," and if the letters are cordially reciprocated the "miss" may in time be omitted, or other familiar terms used instead. in addressing a widow "dear madam," or, "my dear madam," will be a proper form until sufficient intimacy will justify the use of other terms. . respect.--a lady must always be treated with respectful delicacy, and a gentleman should never use the term "dear" or "my dear" under any circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long and friendly acquaintance justifies it. . how to finish a letter.--a letter will be suggested by the remarks on how to begin one. "yours respectfully," "yours truly," "yours sincerely," "yours affectionately," "yours ever affectionately," "yours most affectionately," "ever yours," "ever your own," or "yours," are all appropriate, each depending upon the beginning of the letter. it is difficult to see any phrase which could be added to them which would carry more meaning than they contain. people can sign themselves "adorers" and such like, but they do so at the peril of good taste. it is not good that men or women "worship" each other--if they succeed in preserving reciprocal love and esteem they will have cause for great contentment. . permission.--no young man should ever write to a young lady any letter, formal or informal, unless he has first sought her permission to do so. . special forms.--we give various forms or models of love letters to be _studied, not copied._ we have given no replies to the forms given, as every letter written will naturally suggest an answer. a careful study will be a great help to many who have not enjoyed the advantages of a literary education. [illustration] * * * * * forms of social letters. _ .--from a young lady to a clergyman asking a recommendation._ nantwich, may th, reverend and dear sir: having seen an advertisment for a school mistress in the daily times, i have been recommended to offer myself as a candidate. will you kindly favor me with a testimonial as to my character, ability and conduct while at boston normal school? should you consider that i am fitted for the position, you would confer a great favor on me if you would interest yourself in my behalf. i remain, reverend sir, your most obedient and humble servant, laura b. nichols. _ .--applying for a position as a teacher of music._ scotland, conn., january st, madam, seeing your advertisement in the clarion of to-day, i write to offer my services as a teacher of music in your family. i am a graduate of the peabody institute, of baltimore, where i was thoroughly instructed in instrumental and vocal music. i refer by permission to mrs. a.j. davis, walnut street; mrs. franklin hill, spring garden street, and mrs. william murray, spruce street, in whose families i have given lessons. hoping that you may see fit to employ me, i am, very respectfully yours, nellie reynolds. _ .--applying for a situation as a cook._ charlton place, september th, . madam: having seen your advertisement for a cook in to-day's times, i beg to offer myself for your place. i am a thorough cook. i can make clear soups, entrees, jellies, and all kinds of made dishes. i can bake, and am also used to a dairy. my wages are $ per week, and i can give good reference from my last place, in which i lived for two years. i am thirty-three years of age. i remain, madam, yours very respectfully, mary mooney. _ .--recommending a school teacher._ ottawa, ill., february th, . col. geo. h. haight, president board of trustees, etc. dear sir: i take pleasure in recommending to your favorable consideration the application of miss hannah alexander for the position of teacher in the public school at weymouth. miss alexander is a graduate of the davidson seminary, and for the past year has taught a school in this place. my children have been among her pupils, and their progress has been entirely satisfactory to me. miss alexander is a strict disciplinarian, an excellent teacher, and is thoroughly competent to conduct the school for which she applies. trusting that you may see fit to bestow upon her the appointment she seeks, i am. yours very respectfully, alice miller. _ .--a business introduction._ j.w. brown, earlville, ill. chicago, ill., may st, my dear sir: this will introduce to you mr. william channing, of this city, who visits earlville on a matter of business, which he will explain to you in person. you can rely upon his statements, as he is a gentleman of high character, and should you be able to render him any assistance, it would be greatly appreciated by yours truly, haight larabee. _ .--introducing one lady to another._ dundee, tenn., may th, . dear mary: allow me to introduce to you my ever dear friend, miss nellie reynolds, the bearer of this letter. you have heard me speak of her so often that you will know at once who she is. as i am sure you will be mutually pleased with each other, i have asked her to inform you of her presence in your city. any attention you may show her will be highly appreciated by yours affectionately, lizzie eicher. _ .--to a lady, apologizing for a broken engagement._ albany, n.y., may th, . my dear miss lee: permit me to explain my failure to keep my appointment with you this evening. i was on my way to your house, with the assurance of a pleasant evening, when unfortunately i was very unexpectedly called from home on very important business. i regret my disappointment, but hope that the future may afford us many pleasant meetings. sincerely your friend, irving goodrich. _ .--form of an excuse for a pupil._ thursday morning, april th mr. bunnel: you will please excuse william for non-attendance at school yesterday, as i was compelled to keep him at home to attend to a matter of business. mrs. a. smith. _ .--form of letter accompanying a present._ louisville, july , my dearest nelly: many happy returns of the day. so fearful was i that it would escape your memory, that i thought i would send you this little trinket by way of reminder, i beg you to accept it and wear it for the sake of the giver. with love and best wishes. believe me ever, your sincere friend, caroline collins. _ .--returning thanks for the present._ louisville, july , . dear mrs. collins: i am very much obliged to you for the handsome bracelet you have sent me. how kind and thoughtful it was of you to remember me on my birthday. i am sure i have every cause to bless the day, and did i forget it, i have many kind friends to remind me of it. again thanking you for your present, which is far too beautiful for me, and also for your kind wishes. believe me, your most grateful, bertha smith. _ .--congratulating a friend upon his marriage._ menton, n.y., may th, . my dear everett: i have, to-day received the invitation to your wedding, and as i cannot be present at that happy event to offer my congratulations in person, i write. i am heartily glad you are going to be married, and congratulate you upon the wisdom of your choice. you have won a noble as well as a beautiful woman, and one whose love will make you a happy man to your life's end. may god grant that trouble may not come near you but should it be your lot, you will have a wife to whom you can look with confidence for comfort, and whose good sense and devotion to you will be your sure and unfailing support. that you may both be very happy, and that your happiness may increase with your years, is the prayer of your friend, frank howard. * * * * * letter writing. any extravagant flattery should be avoided, both as tending to disgust those to whom it is addressed, as well as to degrade the writers, and to create suspicion as to their sincerity. the sentiments should spring from the tenderness of the heart, and, when faithfully and delicately expressed, will never be read without exciting sympathy or emotion in all hearts not absolutely deadened by insensibility. declaration of affection. dear nellie: will you allow me, in a few plain and simple words, respectfully to express the sincere esteem and affection i entertain for you, and to ask whether i may venture to hope that these sentiments are returned? i love you truly and earnestly and knowing you admire frankness and candor in all things, i cannot think that you will take offense at this letter. perhaps it is self-flattery to suppose i have any place in your regard. should this be so, the error will carry with it its own punishment, for my happy dream will be over. i will try to think otherwise, however, and shall await your answer with hope. trusting soon to hear from you, i remain, dear nellie. sincerely yours, j.l. master to miss nellie reynolds, hartford, conn. [illustration] * * * * * forms of love letters. _ .--an ardent declaration._ naperville, ill., june th, my dearest laura: i can no longer restrain myself from writing to you, dearest and best of girls, what i have often been on the point of saying to you. i love you so much that i cannot find words in which to express my feelings. i have loved you from the very first day we met, and always shall. do you blame me because i write so freely? i should be unworthy of you if i did not tell you the whole truth. oh, laura, can you love me in return? i am sure i shall not be able to bear it if your answer is unfavorable. i will study your every wish if you will give me the right to do so. may i hope? send just one kind word to your sincere friend. harry smith. _ .--a lover's good-bye before starting on a journey._ pearl st., new york, march th, . my dearest nellie: i am off to-morrow, and yet not altogether, for i leave my heart behind in your gentle keeping. you need not place a guard over it, however, for it is as impossible that it should stay away, as for a bit of steel to rush from a magnet. the simile is eminently correct for you, my dear girl, are a magnet, and my heart is as true to you as steel. i shall make my absence as brief as possible. not a day, not an hour, not a minute, shall i waste either in going or returning. oh, this business; but i wont complain, for we must have something for our hive besides honey--something that rhymes with it--and that we must have it, i must bestir myself. you will find me a faithful correspondent. like the spider, i shall drop a line by (almost) every post; and mind, you must give me letter for letter. i can't give you credit. your returns must be prompt and punctual. passionately yours, lewis shuman. to miss nellie carter, no. -- fifth avenue, new york. _ .--from an absent lover._ chicago, ill., sept. , my dearest kate: this sheet of paper, though i should cover it with loving words, could never tell you truly how i long to see you again. time does not run on with me now at the same pace as with other people; the hours seem days, the days weeks, while i am absent from you, and i have no faith in the accuracy of clocks and almanacs. ah! if there were truth in clairvoyance, wouldn't i be with you at this moment! i wonder if you are as impatient to see me as i am to fly to you? sometimes it seems as if i must leave business and every thing else to the fates, and take the first train to dawson. however, the hours do move, though they don't appear to, and in a few more weeks we shall meet again. let me hear from you as frequently as possible in the meantime. tell me of your health, your amusements and your affections. remember that every word you write will be a comfort to me. unchangeably yours, william miller. to miss kate martin, dawson, n.d. _ .--a declaration of love at first sight._ waterford, maine, may th, dear miss searles: although i have been in your society but once the impression you have made upon me is so deep and powerful that i cannot forbear writing to you, in defiance of all rules of etiquette. affection is sometimes of slow growth but sometimes it springs up in a moment. in half an hour after i was introduced to you my heart was no longer my own, i have not the assurance to suppose that i have been fortunate enough to create any interest in yours; but will you allow me to cultivate your acquaintance in the hope or being able to win your regard in the course of time? petitioning for a few lines in reply. i remain, dear miss searles, yours devotedly, e.c. nicks. miss e. searles, waterford, maine. _ .--proposing marriage._ wednesday, october th, dearest etta: the delightful hours i have passed in your society have left an impression on my mind that is altogether indelible, and cannot be effaced even by time itself. the frequent opportunities i have possessed, of observing the thousand acts of amiability and kindness which mark the daily tenor of your life, have ripened my feelings of affectionate regard into a passion at once ardent and sincere until i have at length associated my hopes of future happiness with the idea of you as a life partner, in them. believe me, dearest etta, this is no puerile fancy, but the matured results of a long and warmly cherished admiration of your many charms of person and mind. it is love--pure devoted love, and i feel confident that your knowledge of my character will lead you to ascribe my motives to their true source. may i then implore you to consult your own heart, and should this avowal of my fervent and honorable passion for you be crowned with your acceptance and approval, to grant me permission to refer the matter to your parents. anxiously awaiting your answer, i am, dearest etta, your sincere and faithful lover, geo. courtright. to miss etta jay, malden, ill. _ .--from a gentleman to a widow._ philadelphia, may th, my dear mrs. freeman: i am sure you are too clear-sighted not to have observed the profound impression which your amiable qualities, intelligence and personal attractions have made upon my heart, and as you nave not repelled my attentions nor manifested displeasure when i ventured to hint at the deep interest i felt in your welfare and happiness, i cannot help hoping that you will receive an explicit expression of my attachments, kindly and favorably. i wish it were in my power to clothe the feelings i entertain for you in such words as should make my pleadings irresistible; but, after all, what could i say, more than you are very dear to me, and that the most earnest desire of my soul is to have the privilege of calling you my wife? do you, can you love me? you will not, i am certain, keep me in suspense, for you are too good and kind to trifle for a moment with sincerity like mine. awaiting your answer, i remain with respectful affection, ever yours, henry murray. mrs. julia freeman, philadelphia. _ .--from a lady to an inconstant lover._ dear harry: it is with great reluctance that i enter upon a subject which has given me great pain, and upon which silence has become impossible if i would preserve my self-respects. you cannot but be aware that i have just reason for saying that you have much displeased me. you have apparently forgotten what is due to me, circumstanced as we are, thus far at least. you cannot suppose that i can tamely see you disregard my feelings, by conduct toward other ladies from which i should naturally have the right to expect you to abstain. i am not so vulgar a person as to be jealous. when there is cause to infer changed feelings, or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy, jealousy is not the remedy. what the remedy is i need not say--we both of us have it in our hands. i am sure you will agree with me that we must come to some understanding by which the future shall be governed. neither you nor i can bear a divided allegiance. believe me that i write more in sorrow than in anger. you have made me very unhappy, and perhaps thoughtlessly. but it will take much to reassure me of your unaltered regard. yours truly, emma. [illustration: healthful outdoor exercise.] [illustration: the human face, like a flower, speaks for itself.] * * * * * hints and helps on good behavior at all times and at all places. . it takes acquaintance to found a noble esteem, but politeness prepares the way. indeed, as ontaigne [transcriber's note: montaigne?] says, courtesy begets esteem at sight. urbanity is half of affability, and affability is a charm worth possessing. . a pleasing demeanor is often the scales by which the pagan weighs the christian. it is not virtue, but virtue inspires it. there are circumstances in which it takes a great and strong soul to pass under the little yoke of courtesy, but it is a passport to a greater soul standard. . matthew arnold says, "conduct is three-fourths of character," and christian benignity draws the line for conduct. a high sense of rectitude, a lowly soul, with a pure and kind heart are elements of nobility which will work out in the life of a human being at home--everywhere. "private refinement makes public gentility." . if you would conciliate the favor of men, rule your resentment. remember that if you permit revenge or malice to occupy your soul, you are ruined. . cultivate a happy temper; banish the blues; a cheerful saguine spirit begets cheer and hope. . be trustworthy and be trustful. . do not place a light estimate upon the arts of good reading and good expression; they will yield perpetual interest. . study to keep versed in world events as well as in local occurrences, but abhor gossip, and above all scandal. . banish a self-conscience spirit--the source of much awkwardness--with a constant aim to make others happy. remember that it is incumbent upon gentlemen and ladies alike to be neat in habits. . the following is said to be a correct posture for walking: head erect--not too rigid--chin in, shoulders back. permit no unnecessary motion about the thighs. do not lean over to one side in walking, standing or sitting; the practice is not only ungraceful, but it is deforming and therefore unhealthful. . beware of affectation and of beau brummel airs. . if the hands are allowed to swing in walking, the are should be limited, and the lady will manage them much more gracefully, if they almost touch the clothing. . a lady should not stand with her hands behind her. we could almost say, forget the hands except to keep them clean, including the nails, cordial and helpful. one hand may rest easily in the other. study repose of attitude here as well as in the rest of the body. . gestures are for emphasis in public speaking; do not point elsewhere, as a rule. . greet your acquaintances as you meet them with a slight bow and smile, as you speak. . look the person to whom you speak in the eye. never under any circumstances wink at another or communicate by furtive looks. . should you chance to be the rejected suitor of a lady, bear in mind your own self-respect, as well as the inexorable laws of society, and bow politely when you meet her. reflect that you do not stand before all woman-kind as you do at her bar. do not resent the bitterness of flirtation. no lady or gentleman will flirt. remember ever that painful prediscovery is better than later disappointment. let such experience spur you to higher exertion. . discretion should be exercised in introducing persons. of two gentlemen who are introduced, if one is superior in rank or age, he is the one to whom the introduction should be made. of two social equals, if one be a stranger in the place his name should be mentioned first. . in general the simpler the introduction the better. . before introducing a gentleman to a lady, remember that she is entitled to hold you responsible for the acquaintance. the lady is the one to whom the gentleman is presented, which may be done thus: "miss a, permit me to introduce to you my friend, mr. b."; or, "miss a., allow me to introduce mr. b." if mutual and near friends of yours, say simply, "miss a. mr. b." . receive the introduction with a slight bow and the acknowledgment, "miss a., i am happy to make your acquaintance"; or, "mr. b., i am pleased to meet you." there is no reason why such stereotyped expressions should always be used, but something similar is expected. do not extend the hand usually. . a true lady will avoid familiarity in her deportment towards gentlemen. a young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to address her by her home name, and the reverse is true. use the title miss and mr. respectively. . ladies should be frank and cordial towards their lady friends, but never gushing. . should you meet a friend twice or oftener, at short intervals, it is polite to bow slightly each time after the first. . a lady on meeting a gentleman with whom she has slight acquaintance will make a medium bow--neither too decided nor too slight or stiff. . for a gentleman to take a young lady's arm, is to intimate that she is feeble, and young ladies resent the mode. . if a young lady desires to visit any public place where she expects to meet a gentleman acquaintance, she should have a chaperon to accompany her, a person of mature years when possible, and never a giddy girl. . a lady should not ask a gentleman to walk with her. [illustration] * * * * * a complete etiquette in a few practical rules. _ . if you desire to be respected, keep clean. the finest attire and decorations will add nothing to the appearance or beauty of an untidy person._ _ . clean clothing, clean skin, clean hands, including the nails, and clean, white teeth, are a requisite passport for good society._ _ . a bad breath should be carefully remedied, whether it proceeds from the stomach or from decayed teeth._ _ . to pick the nose, finger about the ears, or scratch the head or any other part of the person, in company, is decidedly vulgar._ _ . when you call at any private residence, do not neglect to clean your shoes thoroughly._ _ . a gentleman should always remove his hat in the presence of ladies, except out of doors, and then he should lift or touch his hat in salutation. on meeting a lady a well-bred gentleman will always lift his hat._ _ . an invitation to a lecture, concert, or other entertainment, may be either verbal or written, but should always be made at least twenty-four hours before the time._ _ . on entering a hall or church the gentleman should precede the lady in walking up the aisle, or walk by her side, if the aisle is broad enough._ _ . a gentleman should always precede a lady upstairs, and follow her downstairs._ _ . visitors should always observe the customs of the church with reference to standing, sitting, or kneeling during the services._ _ . on leaving a hall or church at the close of entertainment or services, the gentleman should precede the lady._ _ . a gentleman walking with a lady should carry the parcels, and never allow the lady to be burdened with anything of the kind._ _ . a gentleman meeting a lady on the street and wishing to speak to her, should never detain her, but may turn around and walk in the same direction she is going, until the conversation is completed._ _ . if a lady is traveling with a gentleman, simply as a friend, she should place the amount of her expenses in his hands, or insist on paying the bills herself._ _ . never offer a lady costly gifts unless you are engaged to her, for it looks as if you were trying to purchase her good-will; and when you make a present to a lady use no ceremony whatever._ _ . never carry on a private conversation in company. if secrecy is necessary, withdraw from the company._ _ . never sit with your back to another without asking to be excused._ _ . it is as unbecoming for a gentleman to sit with legs crossed as it is for a lady._ _ . never thrum with your fingers, rub your hands, yawn or sigh aloud in company._ _ . loud laughter, loud talking, or other boisterous manifestations should be checked in the society of others, especially on the street and in public places._ _ . when you are asked to sing or play in company, do so without being urged, or refuse in a way that shall be final; and when music is being rendered in company, show politeness to the musician by giving attention. it is very impolite to keep up a conversation. if you do not enjoy the music keep silent._ _ . contentions, contradictions, etc. in society should be carefully avoided._ _ . pulling out your watch in company, unless asked the time of day, is a mark of the demi-bred. it looks as if you were tired of the company and the time dragged heavily._ _ . you should never decline to be introduced to any one or all of the guests present at a party to which you have been invited._ _ . a gentleman who escorts a lady to a party, or who has a lady placed under his care, is under particular obligations to attend to her wants and see that she has proper attention. he should introduce her to others, and endeavor to make the evening pleasant. he should escort her to the supper table and provide for her wants._ _ . to take small children or dogs with you on a visit of ceremony is altogether vulgar, though in visiting familiar friends, children are not objectionable._ [illustration: children should early be taught the lesson of propriety and good manners.] [illustration: an egyptian bride's wedding outfit.] [illustration] * * * * * etiquette of calls. in the matter of making calls it is the correct thing: for the caller who arrived first to leave first. to return a first call within a week and in person. to call promptly and in person after a first invitation. for the mother or chaperon to invite a gentleman to call. to call within a week after any entertainment to which one has been invited. you should call upon an acquaintance who has recently returned from a prolonged absence. it as proper to make the first call upon people in a higher social position, if one is asked to do so. it is proper to call, after an engagement has been announced, or a marriage has taken place, in the family. for the older residents in the city or street to call upon the newcomers to their neighborhood is a long recognized custom. it is proper, after a removal from one part of the city to another, to send out cards with one's new address upon them. to ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place where one is living, or making a visit, and to adhere to those hours is a duty that must not be overlooked. a gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young ladies, and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family. [illustration: _improve your speech by reading._] * * * * * etiquette in your speech. don't say miss or mister without the person's name. don't say pants for trousers. don't say gents for gentlemen. don't say female for woman. don't say elegant to mean everything that pleases you. don't say genteel for well-bred. don't say ain't for isn't. don't say i done it for i did it. don't say he is older than me; say older than i. don't say she does not see any; say she does not see at all. don't say not as i know; say not that i know. don't say he calculates to get off; say he expects to get off. don't say he don't; say he doesn't. don't say she is some better; say she is somewhat better. don't say where are you stopping? say where are you staying? don't say you was; say you were. don't say i say, says i, but simply say i said. don't sign your letters yours etc., but yours truly. don't say lay for lie; lay expresses action; lie expresses rest. don't say them bonnets; say those bonnets. don't say party for person. don't say it looks beautifully, but say it looks beautiful. don't say feller, winder, to-morrer, for fellow, window, to-morrow. don't use slangy words; they are vulgar. don't use profane words; they are sinful and foolish. don't say it was her, when you mean it was she. don't say not at once for at once. don't say he gave me a recommend, but say he gave me a recommendation. don't say the two first for the first two. don't say he learnt me french; say he taught me french. don't say lit the fire; say lighted the fire. don't say the man which you saw; say the man whom you saw. don't say who done it; say who did it don't say if i was rich i would buy a carriage; say if i were rich. don't say if i am not mistaken you are in the wrong; say if i mistake not. don't say who may you be; say who are you? don't say go lay down; say go lie down. don't say he is taller than me; say taller than i. don't say i shall call upon him; say i shall call on him. don't say i bought a new pair of shoes; say i bought a pair of new shoes. don't say i had rather not; say i would rather not. don't say two spoonsful; say two spoonfuls. * * * * * etiquette of dress and habits. don't let one day pass without a thorough cleansing of your person. don't sit down to your evening meal before a complete toilet if you have company. don't cleanse your nails, your nose or your ears in public. don't use hair dye, hair oil or pomades. don't wear evening dress in daytime. don't wear jewelry of a gaudy character; genuine jewelry modestly worn is not out of place. don't overdress yourself or walk affectedly. don't wear slippers or dressing-gown or smoking-jacket out of your own house. don't sink your hands in your trousers' pockets. don't whistle in public places, nor inside of houses either. don't use your fingers or fists to beat a tattoo upon floor desk or window panes. don't examine other people's papers or letters scattered on their desk. don't bring a smell of spirits or tobacco into the presence of ladies. never use either in the presence of ladies. don't drink spirits; millions have tried it to their sorrow. * * * * * etiquette on the street. . your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified. ladies should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or laughter and all undue liveliness in public. . when walking on the street do not permit yourself to be absent-minded, as to fail to recognize a friend; do not go along reading a book or newspaper. . in walking with a lady on the street give her the inner side of the walk, unless the outside if the safer part; in which case she is entitled to it. . your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or safety requires it. at night the arm should always be offered; also in ascending the steps of a public building. . in crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle with one hand. to raise the dress with both hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep. . a gentleman meeting a lady acquaintance on the street should not presume to join her in her walk without first asking her permission. . if you have anything to say to a lady whom you may happen to meet in the street, however intimate you may be, do not stop her, but turn round and walk in company with her; you can take leave at the end of the street. . a lady should not venture out upon the street alone after dark. by so doing she compromises her dignity, and exposes herself to indignity at the hands of the rougher class. . never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark or soiled gloves, as you may soil hers. . a lady does not form acquaintances upon the street, or seek to attract the attention of the other sex or of persons of her own sex. her conduct is always modest and unassuming. neither does a lady demand services or favors from a gentleman. she accepts them graciously, always expressing her thanks. a gentleman will not stand on the street corners, or in hotel doorways, or store windows and gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass by. this is the exclusive business of loafers. . in walking with a lady who has your arm, should you have to cross the street, do not disengage your arm and go around upon the outside, unless the lady's comfort renders it necessary. in walking with a lady, where it is necessary for you to proceed singly, always go before her. * * * * * etiquette between sexes. . a lady should be a lady, and a gentleman a gentleman under any and all circumstances. . female indifference to man.--there is nothing that affects the nature and pleasure of man so much as a proper and friendly recognition from a lady, and as women are more or less dependent upon man's good-will, either for gain or pleasure, it surely stands to their interest to be reasonably pleasant and courteous in his presence or society. indifference is always a poor investment, whether in society or business. . gallantry and ladyism should be a prominent feature in the education of young people. politeness to ladies cultivates the intellect and refines the soul and he who can be easy and entertaining in the society of ladies has mastered one of the greatest accomplishments. there is nothing taught in school, academy or college, that contributes so much to the happiness of man as a full development of his social and moral qualities. . ladylike etiquette.--no woman can afford to treat men rudely. a lady must have a high intellectual and moral ideal and hold herself above reproach. she must remember that the art of pleasing and entertaining gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces, ribbons or diamonds. dress and glitter may please man, but it will never benefit him. . cultivate deficiencies.--men and women poorly sexed treat each other with more or less indifference, whereas a hearty sexuality inspires both to a right estimation of the faculties and qualities of each other. those who are deficient should seek society and overcome their deficiencies. while some naturally inherit faculties as entertainers others are compelled to acquire them by cultivation. [illustration: asking an honest question.] . ladies' society.--he who seeks ladies' society should seek an education and should have a pure heart and a pure mind. read good, pure and wholesome literature and study human nature, and you will always be a favorite in the society circle. . woman haters.--some men with little refinement and strong sensual feelings virtually insult and thereby disgust and repel every female they meet. they look upon woman with an inherent vulgarity, and doubt the virtue and integrity of all alike. but it is because they are generally insincere and impure themselves, and with such a nature culture and refinement are out of the question, there must be a revolution. . men haters.--women who look upon all men as odious, corrupt or hateful, are no doubt so themselves, though they may be clad in silk and sparkle with diamonds and be as pretty as a lily; but their hypocrisy will out, and they can never win the heart of a faithful, conscientious and well balanced man. a good woman has broad ideas and great sympathy. she respects all men until they are proven unworthy. . fond of children.--the man who is naturally fond of children will make a good husband and a good father. so it behooves the young man, to notice children and cultivate the art of pleasing them. it will be a source of interest, education and permanent benefit to all. . excessive luxury.--although the association with ladies is an expensive luxury, yet it is not an expensive education. it elevates, refines, sanctifies and purifies, and improves the whole man. a young man who has a pure and genuine respect for ladies, will not only make a good husband, but a good citizen as well. . masculine attention.--no woman is entitled to any more attention than her loveliness and ladylike conduct will command. those who are most pleasing will receive the most attention, and those who desire more should aspire to acquire more by cultivating those graces and virtues which ennoble woman, but no lady should lower or distort her own true ideal, or smother and crucify her conscience, in order to please any living man. a good man will admire a good woman, and deceptions cannot long be concealed. her show of dry goods or glitter of jewels cannot long cover up her imperfections or deceptions. . purity.--purity of purpose will solve all social problems. let all stand on this exalted sexual platform, and teach every man just how to treat the female sex, and every woman how to behave towards the masculine; and it will incomparably adorn the manners of both, make both happy in each other, and mutually develop each other's sexuality and humanity. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * practical rules on table manners. . help ladies with a due appreciation; do not overload the plate of any person you serve. never pour gravy on a plate without permission. it spoils the meat for some persons. . never put anything by force upon any one's plate. it is extremely ill-bred, though extremely common, to press one to eat of anything. . if at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce or gravy, do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side of them. never load down a person's plate with anything. . as soon as you are helped, begin to eat, or at least begin to occupy yourself with what you have before you. do not wait till your neighbors are served--a custom that was long ago abandoned. . should you, however, find yourself at a table where they have the old-fashioned steel forks, eat with your knife, as the others do, and do not let it be seen that you have any objection to doing so. . bread should be broken. to butter a large piece of bread and then bite it, as children do, is something the knowing never do. . in eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers. to take a bone in the fingers for the purpose of picking it, is looked upon as being very inelegant. . never use your own knife or fork to help another. use rather the knife or fork of the person you help. . never send your knife or fork, or either of them, on your plate when you send for second supply. . never turn your elbows out when you use your knife and fork. keep them close to your sides. . whenever you use your fingers to convey anything to your mouth or to remove anything from the mouth, let it be the fingers of the left hand. . tea, coffee, chocolate and the like are drank from the cup and never from the saucer. . in masticating your food, keep your mouth shut; otherwise you will make a noise that will be very offensive to those around you. . don't attempt to talk with a full mouth. one thing at a time is as much as any man can do well. . should you find a worm or insect in your food, say nothing about it. . if a dish is distasteful to you, decline it, and without comment. . never put bones or bits of fruit on the table cloth. put them on the side of your plate. . do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish, simply because it is the last. to do so is to directly express the fear that you would exhaust the supply. . if you would be what you would like to be--abroad, take care that you _are_ what you would like to be--at home. . avoid picking your teeth at the table if possible; but if you must, do it, it you can, where you are not observed. . if an accident of any kind soever should occur during dinner, the cause being who or what it may, you should not seem to note it. . should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything, you should make no apology. you might let your regret appear in your face, but it would not be proper to put it in words. [illustration: a parlor recitation.] * * * * * social duties. man in society is like a flower, blown in its native bed. 'tis there alone his faculties expanded in full bloom shine out, there only reach their proper use. --cowper. the primal duties shine aloft like stars; the charities that soothe, and heal, and bless, are scatter'd at the feet of man like flowers. --wordsworth. . membership in society.--many fail to get hold of the idea that they are members of society. they seem to suppose that the social machinery of the world is self-operating. they cast their first ballot with an emotion of pride perhaps, but are sure to pay their first tax with a groan. they see political organizations in active existence; the parish, and the church, and other important bodies that embrace in some form of society all men, are successfully operated; and yet these young men have no part or lot in the matter. they do not think of giving a day's time to society. . begin early.--one of the first things a young man should do is to see that he is acting his part in society. the earlier this is begun the better. i think that the opponents of secret societies in colleges have failed to estimate the benefit which it must be to every member to be obliged to contribute to the support of his particular organization, and to assume personal care and responsibility as a member. if these societies have a tendency to teach the lessons of which i speak, they are a blessed thing. . do your part.--do your part, and be a man among men. assume your portion of social responsibility, and see that you discharge it well. if you do not do this, then you are mean, and society has the right to despise you just as much as it chooses to do so. you are, to use a word more emphatic than agreeable, a sneak, and have not a claim upon your neighbors for a single polite word. . a whining complainer.--society, as it is called, is far more apt to pay its dues to the individual than the individual to society. have you, young man, who are at home whining over the fact that you cannot get into society, done anything to give you a claim to social recognition? are you able to make any return for social recognition and social privileges? do you know anything? what kind of coin do you propose to pay in the discharge of the obligation which comes upon you with social recognition? in other words, as a return for what you wish to have society do for you, what can you do for society? this is a very important question--more important to you than to society. the question is, whether you will be a member of society by right, or by courtesy. if you have so mean a spirit as to be content to be a beneficiary of society--to receive favors and to confer none--you have no business in the society to which you aspire. you are an exacting, conceited fellow. . what are you good for?--are you a good beau, and are you willing to make yourself useful in waiting on the ladies on all occasions? have you a good set of teeth, which you are willing to show whenever the wit of the company gets off a good thing? are you a true, straightforward, manly fellow, with whose healthful and uncorrupted nature it is good for society to come in contact? in short, do you possess anything of any social value? if you do, and are willing to impart it, society will yield itself to your touch. if you have nothing, then society, as such, owes you nothing. christian philanthropy may put its arm around you, as a lonely young man, about to spoil for want of something, but it is very sad and humiliating for a young man to be brought to that. there are people who devote themselves to nursing young men, and doing them good. if they invite you to tea, go by all means, and try your hand. if in the course of the evening, you can prove to them that your society is desirable, you have won a point. don't be patronized. . the morbid condition.--young men, you are apt to get into a morbid state of mind, which declines them to social intercourse. they become devoted to business with such exclusiveness, that all social intercourse is irksome. they go out to tea as if they were going to jail, and drag themselves to a party as to an execution. this disposition is thoroughly morbid, and to be overcome by going where you are invited, always, and with a sacrifice of feeling. . the common blunder.--don't shrink from contact with anything but bad morals. men who affect your unhealthy minds with antipathy, will prove themselves very frequently to be your best friends and most delightful companions. because a man seems uncongenial to you, who are squeamish and foolish, you have no right to shun him. we become charitable by knowing men. we learn to love those whom we have despised by rubbing against them. do you not remember some instance of meeting a man or woman whom you had never previously known or cared to know--an individual, perhaps, against whom you have entertained the strongest prejudices--but to whom you became bound by a lifelong friendship through the influence of a three days' intercourse? yet, if you had not thus met, you would have carried through life the idea that it would be impossible for you to give your fellowship to such an individual. . the foolishness of man.--god has introduced into human character infinite variety, and for you to say that you do not love and will not associate with a man because he is unlike you, is not only foolish but wrong. you are to remember that in the precise manner and decree in which a man differs from you, do you differ from him; and that from his standpoint you are naturally as repulsive to him, as he, from your standpoint, is to you. so, leave all this talk of congeniality to silly girls and transcendental dreamers. . do business in your way and be honest.--do your business in your own way, and concede to every man the privilege which you claim for yourself. the more you mix with men, the less you will be disposed to quarrel, and the more charitable and liberal will you become. the fact that you do not understand a man, is quite as likely to be your fault as his. there are a good many chances in favor of the conclusion that, if you fail to like an individual whose acquaintance you make it is through your own ignorance and illiberality. so i say, meet every man honestly; seek to know him; and you will find that in those points in which he differs from you rests his power to instruct you, enlarge you, and do you good. keep your heart open for everybody, and be sure that you shall have your reward. you shall find a jewel under the most uncouth exterior; and associated with homeliest manners and oddest ways and ugliest faces, you will find rare virtues, fragrant little humanities, and inspiring heroisms. . without society, without influence.--again: you can have no influence unless you are social. an unsocial man is as devoid of influence as an ice-peak is of verdure. it is through social contact and absolute social value alone that you can accomplish any great social good. it is through the invisible lines which you are able to attach to the minds with which you are brought into association alone that you can tow society, with its deeply freighted interests, to the great haven of your hope. . the revenge of society.--the revenge which society takes upon the man who isolates himself, is as terrible as it is inevitable. the pride which sits alone will have the privilege of sitting alone in its sublime disgust till it drops into the grave. the world sweeps by the man, carelessly, remorselessly, contemptuously. he has no hold upon society, because he is no part of it. . the conclusion of the whole matter.--you cannot move men until you are one of them. they will not follow you until they have heard your voice, shaken your hand, and fully learned your principles and your sympathies. it makes no difference how much you know, or how much you are capable of doing. you may pile accomplishment upon acquisition mountain high; but if you fail to be a social man, demonstrating to society that your lot is with the rest, a little child with a song in its mouth, and a kiss for all and a pair of innocent hands to lay upon the knees, shall lead more hearts and change the direction of more lives than you. [illustration: gathering oranges in the sunny south.] * * * * * politeness. . beautiful behavior.--politeness has been described as the art of showing, by external signs, the internal regard we have for others. but one may be perfectly polite to another without necessarily paying a special regard for him. good manners are neither more nor less than beautiful behavior. it has been well said that "a beautiful form is better than a beautiful face, and a beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures--it is the finest of the fine arts." . true politeness.--the truest politeness comes of sincerity. it must be the outcome of the heart, or it will make no lasting impression; for no amount of polish can dispense with truthfulness. the natural character must be allowed to appear, freed of its angularities and asperities. though politeness, in its best form, should resemble water--"best when clearest, most simple, and without taste"--yet genius in a man will always cover many defects of manner, and much will be excused to the strong and the original. without genuineness and individuality, human life would lose much of its interest and variety, as well as its manliness and robustness of character. . personality of others.--true politeness especially exhibits itself in regard for the personality of others. a man will respect the individuality of another if he wishes to be respected himself. he will have due regard for his views and opinions, even though they differ from his own. the well-mannered man pays a compliment to another, and sometimes even secures his respect by patiently listening to him. he is simply tolerant and forbearant, and refrains from judging harshly; and harsh judgments of others will almost invariably provoke harsh judgments of ourselves. . the impolite.--the impolite, impulsive man will, however, sometimes rather lose his friend than his joke. he may surely be pronounced a very foolish person who secures another's hatred at the price of a moment's gratification. it was a saying of burnel, the engineer--himself one of the kindest-natured of men--that "spite and ill-nature are among the most expensive luxuries in life." dr. johnson once said: "sir, a man has no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down." . feelings of others.--want of respect for the feelings of others usually originates in selfishness, and issues in hardness and repulsiveness of manner. it may not proceed from malignity so much, as from want of sympathy, and want of delicacy--a want of that perception of, and attention to, those little and apparently trifling things, by which pleasure is given or pain occasioned to others. indeed, it may be said that in self-sacrifice in the ordinary intercourse of life, mainly consists the difference between being well and ill bred. without some degree of self-restraint in society a man may be found almost insufferable. no one has pleasure in holding intercourse with such a person, and he is a constant source of annoyance to those about him. . disregard of others.--men may show their disregard to others in various impolite ways, as, for instance, by neglect of propriety in dress, by the absence of cleanliness, or by indulging in repulsive habits. the slovenly, dirty person, by rendering himself physically disagreeable, sets the tastes and feelings of others at defiance, and is rude and uncivil, only under another form. . the best school of politeness.--the first and best school of politeness, as of character, is always the home, where woman is the teacher. the manners of society at large are but the reflex of the manners of our collective homes, neither better nor worse. yet, with all the disadvantages of ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture of manner as of intellect, and learn by good examples to cultivate a graceful and agreeable behavior towards others. most men are like so many gems in the rough, which need polishing by contact with other and better natures, to bring out their full beauty and lustre. some have but one side polished, sufficient only to show the delicate graining of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities of the gem, needs the discipline of experience, and contact with the best examples of character in the intercourse of daily life. . captiousness of manner.--while captiousness of manner, and the habit of disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and repulsive, the opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing with, every statement made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally disagreeable. it is unmanly, and is felt to be dishonest. "it may seem difficult," says richard sharp, "to steer always between bluntness and plain dealing, between merited praises and lavishing indiscriminate flattery; but it is very easy--good humor, kindheartedness, and perfect simplicity, being all that are requisite to do what is right in the right way. at the same time many are impolite, not because they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and perhaps know no better." . shy people.--again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved, and proud, when they are only shy. shyness is characteristic of most people of the teutonic race. from all that can be learned of shakespeare, it is to be inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man. the manner in which his plays were sent into the world--for it is not known that he edited or authorized the publication of a single one of them,--and the dates at which they respectively appeared, are mere matters of conjecture. . self-forgetfulness.--true politeness is best evinced by self-forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others. mr. garfield, our martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type. his friend, col. rockwell, says of him: "in, the midst of his suffering he never forgets others. for instance, to-day he said to me, 'rockwell, there is a poor soldier's widow who came to me before this thing occurred, and i promised her, she should be provided for. i want you to see that the matter is attended to at once.' he is the most docile patient i ever saw." . its bright side.--we have thus far spoken of shyness as a defect. but there is another way of looking at it; for even shyness has its bright side, and contains an element of good. shy men and shy races are ungraceful and undemonstrative, because, as regards society at large, they are comparatively unsociable. they do not possess those elegancies of manner acquired by free intercourse, which distinguish the social races, because their tendency is to shun society rather than to seek it. they are shy in the presence of strangers, and shy even in their own families. they hide their affections under a robe of reserve, and when they do give way to their feelings, it is only in some very hidden inner chamber. and yet, the feelings are there, and not the less healthy and genuine, though they are not made the subject of exhibition to others. . worthy of cultivation.--while, therefore, grace of manner, politeness of behavior, elegance of demeanor, and all the arts that contribute to make life pleasant and beautiful, are worthy of cultivation, it must not be at the expense of the more solid and enduring qualities of honesty, sincerity, and truthfulness. the fountain of beauty must be in the heart more than in the eye, and if it does not tend to produce beautiful life and noble practice, it will prove of comparatively little avail. politeness of manner is not worth much, unless it is accompanied by polite actions. * * * * * influence of good character. "unless above himself he can erect himself, how poor a thing is man! --daniel. "character is moral order seen through the medium of an individual nature--men of character are the conscience of the society to which they belong." --emerson. the purest treasure mortal times afford, is--spotless reputation; that away, men are but gilded loam, or painted clay, a jewel in a ten-times-barr'd-up chest is--a bold spirit in a loyal breast. --shakespeare. . reputation.--the two most precious things this side the grave are our reputation and our life. but it is to be lamented that the most contemptible whisper may deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon of the other. a wise man, therefore, will be more anxious to deserve a fair name than to possess it, and this will teach him so to live, as not to be afraid to die. . character.--character is one of the greatest motive powers in the world. in its noblest embodiments, it exemplifies human nature in its highest forms, for it exhibits man at his best. . the heart that rules in life.--although genius always commands admiration, character most secures respect. the former is more the product of brain power, the latter of heart power; and in the long run it is the heart that rules in life. men of genius stand to society in the relation of its intellect as men of character of its conscience: and while the former are admired, the latter are followed. . the highest ideal of life and character.--common-place though it may appear, this doing of one's duty embodies the highest ideal of life and character. there may be nothing heroic about it; but the common lot of men is not heroic. and though the abiding sense of duty upholds man in his highest attitudes, it also equally sustains him in the transaction of the ordinary affairs of every-day existence. man's life is "centered in the sphere of common duties." the most influential of all the virtues are those which are the most in request for daily use. they wear the best, and last the longest. . wealth.--wealth in the hands of men of weak purpose, or deficient self-control, or of ill regulated passions is only a temptation and a snare--the source, it may be, of infinite mischief to themselves, and often to others. on the contrary, a condition of comparative poverty is compatible with character in its highest form. a man may possess only his industry, his frugality, his integrity, and yet stand high in the rank of true manhood. the advice which burns' father gave him was the best: "he bade me act a manly part, though i had ne'er a farthing, for without an honest, manly heart no man was worth regarding." . character is property.--it is the noblest of possessions. it is an estate in the general good-will and respect of men; they who invest in it--though they may not become rich in this world's goods--will find their reward in esteem and reputation fairly and honorably won. and it is right that in life good qualities should tell--that industry, virtue, and goodness should rank the highest--and that the really best men should be foremost. . simple honesty of purpose.--this in a man goes a long way in life, if founded on a just estimate of himself and a steady obedience to the rule he knows and feels to be right. it holds a man straight, gives him strength and sustenance, and forms a mainspring of vigorous action. no man is bound to be rich or great--no, nor to be wise--but every man is bound to be honest and virtuous. [illustration] [illustration: home amusements.] * * * * * family government. . gentleness must characterize every act of authority.--the storm of excitement that may make the child start, bears no relation to actual obedience. the inner firmness, that sees and feels a moral conviction and expects obedience, is only disguised and defeated by bluster. the more calm and direct it is, the greater certainty it has of dominion. . for the government of small children.--for the government of small children speak only in the authority of love, yet authority, loving and to be obeyed. the most important lesson to impart is obedience to authority as authority. the question of salvation with most children will be settled as soon as they learn to obey parental authority. it establishes a habit and order of mind that is ready to accept divine authority. this precludes skepticism and disobedience, and induces that childlike trust and spirit set forth as a necessary state of salvation. children that are never made to obey are left to drift into the sea of passion where the pressure for surrender only tends to drive them at greater speed from the haven of safety. . habits of self-denial.--form in the child habits of self-denial. pampering never matures good character. . emphasize integrity.--keep the moral tissues tough in integrity; then it will hold a hook of obligations when once set in a sure place. there is nothing more vital. shape all your experiments to preserve the integrity. do not so reward it that it becomes mercenary. turning state's evidence is a dangerous experiment in morals. prevent deceit from succeeding. . guard modesty.--to be brazen is to imperil some of the best elements of character. modesty may be strengthened into a becoming confidence, but brazen facedness can seldom be toned down into decency. it requires the miracle of grace. . protect purity.--teach your children to loathe impurity. study the character of their playmates. watch their books. keep them from corruption at all cost. the groups of youth in the school and in society, and in business places, seed with improprieties of word and thought. never relax your vigilance along this exposed border. [illustration: both puzzled.] . threaten the least possible.--in family government threaten the least possible. some parents rattle off their commands with penalties so profusely that there is a steady roar of hostilities about the child's head. these threats are forgotten by the parent and unheeded by the child. all government is at an end. . do not enforce too many commands.--leave a few things within the range of the child's knowledge that are not forbidden. keep your word good, but do not have too much of it out to be redeemed. . punish as little as possible.--sometimes punishment is necessary, but the less it is resorted to the better. . never punish in a passion.--wrath only becomes cruelty. there is no moral power in it. when you seem to be angry you can do no good. . brutish violence only multiplies offenders.--striking and beating the body seldom reaches the soul. fear and hatred beget rebellion. . punish privately.--avoid punishments that break down self-respect. striking the body produces shame and indignation. it is enough for the other children to know that discipline is being administered. . never stop short of success.--when the child is not conquered the punishment has been worse than wasted. reach the point where neither wrath nor sullenness remain. by firm persistency and persuasion require an open look of recognition and peace. it is only evil to stir up the devil unless he is cast out. ordinarily one complete victory will last a child for a lifetime. but if the child relapses, repeat the dose with proper accompaniments. . do not require children to complain of themselves for pardon.--it begets either sycophants or liars. it is the part of the government to detect offences. it reverses the order of matters to shirk this duty. . grade authority up to liberty.--the growing child must have experiments of freedom. lead him gently into the family. counsel with him. let him plan as he can. by and by he has the confidence of courage without the danger of exposures. . respect.--parents must respect each other. undermining either undermines both. always govern in the spirit of love. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * conversation. some men are very entertaining for a first interview, but after that they are exhausted, and run out; on a second meeting we shall find them very flat and monotonous; like hand-organs, we have heard all their tunes.--coulton. he who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of some of the best requisites of man.--lavater. beauty is never so lovely as when adorned with the smile, and conversation never sits easier upon us than when we know and then discharge ourselves in a symphony of laughter, which may not improperly be called the chorus of conversation.--steele. the first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit.--sir william temple. home lessons in conversation. say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided. avoid satire and sarcasm. never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition. cultivate the supreme wisdom, which consists less in saying what ought to be said than in not saying what ought not to be said. often cultivate "flashes of silence." it is the larger half of the conversation to listen well. listen to others patiently, especially the poor. sharp sayings are an evidence of low breeding. shun faultfindings and faultfinders. never utter an uncomplimentary word against anyone. compliments delicately hinted and sincerely intended are a grace in conversation. commendation of gifts and cleverness properly put are in good taste, but praise of beauty is offensive. repeating kind expressions is proper. compliments given in a joke may be gratefully received in earnest. the manner and tone are important parts of a compliment. avoid egotism. don't talk of yourself, or of your friends or your deeds. give no sign that you appreciate your own merits. do not become a distributer of the small talk of a community. the smiles of your auditors do not mean respect. avoid giving the impression of one filled with "suppressed egotism." never mention your own peculiarities; for culture destroys vanity. avoid exaggeration. do not be too positive. do not talk of display oratory. do not try to lead in conversation looking around to enforce silence. lay aside affected, silly etiquette for the natural dictates of the heart. direct the conversation where others can join with you and impart to you useful information. avoid oddity. eccentricity is shallow vanity. be modest. be what you wish to seem. avoid repeating a brilliant or clever saying. [illustration: thinking only of dress.] if you find bashfulness or embarrassment coming upon you, do or say something at once. the commonest matter gently stated is better than an embarrassing silence. sometimes changing your position, or looking into a book for a moment may relieve your embarrassment, and dispel any settling stiffness. avoid telling many stories, or repeating a story more than once in the same company. never treat any one as if you simply wanted him to tell stories. people laugh and despise such a one. never tell a coarse story. no wit or preface can make it excusable. tell a story, if at all, only as an illustration, and not for itself. tell it accurately. be careful in asking questions for the purpose of starting conversation or drawing out a person, not to be rude or intrusive. never take liberties by staring, or by any rudeness. never infringe upon any established regulations among strangers. do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right. the right will appear. you need only give it a chance. avoid argument in conversation. it is discourteous to your host. cultivate paradoxes in conversation with your peers. they add interest to common-place matters. to strike the harmless faith of ordinary people in any public idol is waste, but such a movement with those able to reply is better. never discourse upon your ailments. never use words of the meaning or pronunciation of which you are uncertain. avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns. never prompt a slow speaker, as if you had all the ability. in conversing with a foreigner who may be learning our language, it is excusable to help him in some delicate way. never give advice unasked. do not manifest impatience. do not interrupt another when speaking. do not find fault, though you may gently criticise. do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others. do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather. do not, when narrating an incident, continually say, "you see," "you know." do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly. do not introduce professional or other topics that the company generally cannot take an interest in. do not talk very loud. a firm, clear, distinct, yet mild, gentle, and musical voice has great power. do not be absent-minded, requiring the speaker to repeat what has been said that you may understand. do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others. do not use profanity, vulgar terms, words of double meaning, or language that will bring the blush to anyone. do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be avoided. the day may come when some friend will be needed to defend you in your absence. do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be visiting. find something to truthfully praise and commend; thus make yourself agreeable. do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are a descendant of any notable family. you must pass for just what you are, and must stand on your own merit. do not contradict. in making a correction say, "i beg your pardon, but i had the impression that it was so and so." be careful in contradicting, as you may be wrong yourself. do not be unduly familiar; you will merit contempt if you are. neither should you be dogmatic in your assertions, arrogating to yourself such consequences in your opinions. do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own family when speaking to strangers; the person to whom you are speaking may know some faults that you do not. do not feel it incumbent upon yourself to carry your point in conversation. should the person with whom you are conversing feel the same, your talk may lead into violent argument. do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are, what things cost, whether melissa ever had a beau, and why amarette never got married? all such questions are extremely impertinent and are likely to meet with rebuke. do not whisper in company; do not engage in private conversation; do not speak a foreign language which the general company present may not understand, unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to speak your own language. [illustration: widower jones and widow smith.] * * * * * the toilet. or the care of the person. important rules. . good appearance.--the first care of all persons should be for their personal appearance. those who are slovenly or careless in their habits are unfit for refined society, and cannot possibly make a good appearance in it. a well-bred person will always cultivate habits of the most scrupulous neatness. a gentleman or lady is always well dressed. the garment may be plain or of coarse material, or even worn "thin and shiny," but if it is carefully brushed and neat, it can be worn with dignity. . personal cleanliness.--personal appearance depends greatly on the careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress. the first point which marks the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness. this remark supplies to the body and everything which covers it. a clean skin--only to be secured by frequent baths--is indispensable. . the teeth.--the teeth should receive the utmost attention. many a young man has been disgusted with a lady by seeing her unclean and discolored teeth. it takes but a few moments, and if necessary secure some simple tooth powder or rub the teeth thoroughly every day with a linen handkerchief, and it will give the teeth and mouth a beautiful and clean appearance. . the hair and beard.--the hair should be thoroughly brushed and well kept, and the beard of men properly trimmed. men should not let their hair grow long and shaggy. . underclothing.--the matter of cleanliness extends to all articles of clothing, underwear as well as the outer clothing. cleanliness is a mark of true utility. the clothes need not necessarily be of a rich and expensive quality, but they can all be kept clean. some persons have an odor about them that is very offensive, simply on account of their underclothing being worn too long without washing. this odor of course cannot be detected by the person who wears the soiled garments, but other persons easily detect it and are offended by it. . the bath.--no person should think for a moment that they can be popular in society without regular bathing. a bath should be taken at least once a week, and if the feet perspire they should be washed several times a week, as the case may require. it is not unfrequent that young men are seen with dirty ears and neck. this is unpardonable and boorish, and shows gross neglect. occasionally a young lady will be called upon unexpectedly when her neck and smiling face are not emblems of cleanliness. every lady owes it to herself to be fascinating; every gentleman is bound, for his own sake, to be presentable; but beyond this there is the obligation to society, to one's friends, and to those with whom we may be brought in contact. . soiled garments.--a young man's garments may not be expensive, yet there is no excuse for wearing a soiled collar and a soiled shirt, or carrying a soiled handkerchief. no one should appear as though he had slept in a stable, shaggy hair, soiled clothing or garments indifferently put on and carelessly buttoned. a young man's vest should always be kept buttoned in the presence of ladies. . the breath.--care should be taken to remedy an offensive breath without delay. nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance, or is such a source of misery to one's self. the evil may be from some derangement of the stomach or some defective condition of the teeth, or catarrhal affection of the throat and nose. see remedies in other portions of the book. * * * * * a young man's personal appearance. dress changes the manners.--voltaire. whose garments wither, shall receive faded smiles.--sheridan knowles. men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither conspicuous for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it.--anonymous. . a well-dressed man does not require so much an extensive as a varied wardrobe. he does not need a different suit for every season and every occasion, but if he is careful to select clothes that are simple and not striking or conspicuous, he may use the garment over and over again without their being noticed, provided they are suitable to the season and the occasion. . a clean shirt, collar and cuffs always make a young man look neat and tidy, even if his clothes are not of the latest pattern and are somewhat threadbare. . propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like a youth or sixteen. it is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a noticeable extent. avoid affecting singularity in dress. expensive clothes are no sign of a gentleman. . when dressed for company, strive to appear easy and natural. nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person, or more ridiculous to one gifted with refinement, than to see a lady laboring under the consciousness of a fine gown or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward and ungainly in a brand-new coat. . avoid what is called the "ruffianly style of dress" or the slouchy appearance of a half-unbottoned vest, and suspenderless pantaloons. that sort of affectation is, if possible, even more disgusting than the painfully elaborate frippery of the dandy or dude. keep your clothes well brushed and keep them cleaned. slight spots can be removed with a little sponge and soap and water. . a gentleman should never wear a high hat unless he has on a frock coat or a dress suit. . a man's jewelry should be good and simple. brass or false jewelry, like other forms of falsehood, is vulgar. wearing many cheap decorations is a serious fault. [illustration: the dude of the th century.] . if a man wears a ring it should be on the third finger of the left hand. this is the only piece of jewelry a man is allowed to wear that does not serve a purpose. . wearing imitations of diamonds is always in very bad taste. . every man looks better in a full beard if he keeps it well trimmed. if a man shaves he should shave at least every other day, unless he is in the country. . the finger-nails should be kept cut, and the teeth should be cleaned every morning, and kept clear from tarter. a man who does not keep his teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows them. [illustration] * * * * * dress. we sacrifice to dress, till household joys and comforts cease. dress drains our cellar dry, and keeps our larder lean. puts out our fires, and introduces hunger, frost and woe, where peace and hospitality might reign. --cowper . god is a lover of dress.--we cannot but feel that god is a lover of dress. he has put on robes of beauty and glory upon all his works. every flower is dressed in richness; every field blushes beneath a mantle of beauty; every star is veiled in brightness; every bird is clothed in the habiliments of the most exquisite taste. the cattle upon the thousand hills are dressed by the hand divine. who, studying god in his works, can doubt, that he will smile upon the evidence of correct taste manifested by his children in clothing the forms he has made them? . love of dress.--to love dress is not to be a slave of fashion; to love dress only is the test of such homage. to transact the business of charity in a silken dress, and to go in a carriage to the work, injures neither the work nor the worker. the slave of fashion is one who assumes the livery of a princess, and then omits the errand of the good human soul; dresses in elegance, and goes upon no good errand, and thinks and does nothing of value to mankind. . beauty in dress.--beauty in dress is a good thing, rail at it who may. but it is a lower beauty, for which a higher beauty should not be sacrificed. they love dresses too much who give it their first thought, their best time, or all their money; who for it neglect the culture of their mind or heart, or the claims of others on their service; who care more for their dress than their disposition; who are troubled more by an unfashionable bonnet than a neglected duty. . simplicity of dress.--female lovliness never appears to so good advantage as when set off by simplicity of dress. no artist ever decks his angels with towering feathers and gaudy jewelry; and our dear human angels--if they would make good their title to that name--should carefully avoid ornaments, which properly belong to indian squaws and african princesses. these tinselries may serve to give effect on the stage, or upon the ball room floor, but in daily life there is no substitute for the charm of simplicity. a vulgar taste is not to be disguised by gold or diamonds. the absence of a true taste and refinement of delicacy cannot be compensated for by the possession of the most princely fortune. mind measures gold, but gold cannot measure mind. through dress the mind may be read, as through the delicate tissue the lettered page. a modest woman will dress modestly; a really refined and intelligent woman will bear the marks of careful selection and faultless taste. . people of sense.--a coat that has the mark of use upon it, is a recommendation to the people of sense, and a hat with too much nap, and too high lustre, a derogatory circumstance. the best coats in our streets are worn on the backs of penniless fops, broken down merchants, clerks with pitiful salaries, and men that do not pay up. the heaviest gold chains dangle from the fobs of gamblers and gentlemen of very limited means; costly ornaments on ladies, indicate to the eyes that are well opened, the fact of a silly lover or husband cramped for funds. . plain and neat.--when a pretty woman goes by in plain and neat apparel, it is the presumption that she has fair expectations, and a husband that can show a balance in his favor. for women are like books,--too much gilding makes men suspicious, that the binding is the most important part. the body is the shell of the soul, and the dress is the husk of the body; but the husk generally tells what the kernel is. as a fashionably dressed young lady passed some gentlemen, one of them raised his hat, whereupon another, struck by the fine appearance of the lady, made some inquiries concerning her, and was answered thus: "she makes a pretty ornament in her father's house, but otherwise is of no use." . the richest dress.--the richest dress is always worn on the soul. the adornments that will not perish, and that all men most admire, shine from the heart through this life. god has made it our highest, holiest duty, to dress the souls he has given us. it is wicked to waste it in frivolity. it is a beautiful, undying, precious thing. if every young woman would think of her soul when she looks in the glass, would hear the cry of her naked mind when she dallies away her precious hours at her toilet, would listen to the sad moaning of her hollow heart, as it wails through her idle, useless life, something would be done for the elevation of womanhood. . dressing up.--compare a well-dressed body with a well-dressed mind. compare a taste for dress with a taste for knowledge, culture, virtue, and piety. dress up an ignorant young woman in the "height of fashion"; put on plumes and flowers, diamonds and gewgaws; paint her face, girt up her waist, and i ask you, if this side of a painted and feathered savage you can find anything more unpleasant to behold. and yet such young women we meet by the hundred every day on the street and in all our public places. it is awful to think of. . dress affects our manners.--a man who is badly dressed, feels chilly, sweaty, and prickly. he stammers, and does not always tell the truth. he means to, perhaps, but he can't. he is half distracted about his pantaloons, which are much to short, and are constantly hitching up; or his frayed jacket and crumpled linen harrow his soul, and quite unman him. he treads on the train of a lady's dress, and says, "thank you", sits down on his hat, and wishes the "desert were his dwelling place." [illustration] * * * * * beauty. "she walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies: and all that's best of dark and bright meet her in aspect and in her eyes; thus mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies." --byron. . the highest style of beauty.--the highest style of beauty to be found in nature pertains to the human form, as animated and lighted up by the intelligence within. it is the expression of the soul that constitutes this superior beauty. it is that which looks out of the eye, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, smiles on the cheek, is set forth in the chiselled lines and features of the countenance, in the general contour of figure and form, in the movement, and gesture, and tone; it is this looking out of the invisible spirit that dwells within, this manifestation of the higher nature, that we admire and love; this constitutes to us the beauty of our species. . beauty which perishes not.--there is a beauty which perishes not. it is such as the angels wear. it forms the washed white robes of the saints. it wreathes the countenance of every doer of good. it adorns every honest face. it shines in the virtuous life. it molds the hands of charity. it sweetens the voice of sympathy. it sparkles on the brow of wisdom. it flashes in the eye of love. it breathes in the spirit of piety. it is the beauty of the heaven of heavens. it is that which may grow by the hand of culture in every human soul. it is the flower of the spirit which blossoms on the tree of life. every soul may plant and nurture it in its own garden, in its own eden. . we may all be beautiful.--this is the capacity of beauty that god has given to the human soul, and this the beauty placed within the reach of all. we may all be beautiful. though our forms may be uncomely and our features not the prettiest, our spirits may be beautiful. and this inward beauty always shines through. a beautiful heart will flash out in the eye. a lovely soul will glow in the face. a sweet spirit will tune the voice, wreathe the countenance in charms. oh, there is a power in interior beauty that melts the hardest heart! . woman the most perfect type of beauty.--woman, by common consent, we regard as the most perfect type of beauty on earth. to her we ascribe the highest charms belonging to this wonderful element so profusely mingled in all god's works. her form is molded and finished in exquisite delicacy of perfection. the earth gives us no form more perfect, no features more symmetrical, no style more chaste, no movements more graceful, no finish more complete; so that our artists ever have and ever will regard the woman-form of humanity as the most perfect earthly type of beauty. this form is most perfect and symmetrical in the youth of womanhood; so that the youthful woman is earth's queen of beauty. this is true, not only by the common consent of mankind, but also by the strictest rules of scientific criticism. . fadeless beauty.--there cannot be a picture without its bright spots; and the steady contemplation of what is bright in others, has a reflex influence upon the beholder. it reproduces what it reflects. nay, it seems to leave an impress even upon the countenance. the feature, from having a dark, sinister aspect, becomes open, serene, and sunny. a countenance so impressed, has neither the vacant stare of the idiot, nor the crafty, penetrating look of the basilisk, but the clear, placid aspect of truth and goodness. the woman who has such a face is beautiful. she has a beauty which changes not with the features, which fades not with years. it is beauty of expression. it is the only kind of beauty which can be relied upon for a permanent influence with the other sex. the violet will soon cease to smile. flowers must fade. the love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers away. [illustration: hand in hand.] . a pretty woman pleases the eye, a good woman, the heart. the one is a jewel, the other a treasure. invincible fidelity, good humor, and complacency of temper, outlive all the charms of a fine face, and make the decay of it invisible. that is true beauty which has not only a substance, but a spirit; a beauty that we must intimately know to justly appreciate. . the woman you love best.--beauty, dear reader, is probably the woman you love best, but we trust it is the beauty of soul and character, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, and will outlive what is called a fine face. . the wearing of ornaments.--beauty needs not the foreign aid of ornament, but is when unadorned adorned the most, is a trite observation; but with a little qualification it is worthy of general acceptance. aside from the dress itself, ornaments should be very sparingly used--at any rate, the danger lies in over-loading oneself, and not in using too few. a young girl, and especially one of a light and airy style of beauty, should never wear gems. a simple flower in her hair or on her bosom is all that good taste will permit. when jewels or other ornaments are worn, they should be placed where you desire the eye of the spectator to rest, leaving the parts to which you do not want attention called as plain and negative as possible. there is no surer sign of vulgarity than a profusion of heavy jewelry carried about upon the person. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * sensible helps to beauty. . for scrawny neck.--take off your tight collars, feather boas and such heating things. wash neck and chest with hot water, then rub in sweet oil all that you can work in. apply this every night before you retire and leave the skin damp with it while you sleep. . for red hands.--keep your feet warm by soaking them often in hot water, and keep your hands out of the water as much as possible. rub your hands with the skin of a lemon and it will whiten them. if your skin will bear glycerine after you have washed, pour into the palm a little glycerine and lemon juice mixed, and rub over the hands and wipe off. . neck and face.--do not bathe the neck and face just before or after being out of doors. it tends to wrinkle the skin. . scowls.--never allow yourself to scowl, even if the sun be in your eyes. that scowl will soon leave its trace and no beauty will outlive it. . wrinkled forehead.--if you wrinkle your forehead when you talk or read, visit an oculist and have your eyes tested, and then wear glasses to fit them. . old looks.--sometimes your face looks old because it is tired. then apply the following wash and it will make you look younger: put three drops of ammonia, a little borax, a tablespoonful of bay rum, and a few drops of camphor into warm water and apply to your face. avoid getting it into your eyes. . the best cosmetic.--squeeze the juice of a lemon into a pint of sweet milk. wash the face with it every night and in the morning wash off with warm rain water. this will produce a very beautiful effect upon the skin. . spots on the face.--moles and many other discolorations may be removed from the face by a preparation composed of one part chemically pure carbolic acid and two parts pure glycerine. touch the spots with a camel's-hair pencil, being careful that the preparation does not come in contact with the adjacent skin. five minutes after touching, bathe with soft water and apply a little vaseline. it may be necessary to repeat the operation, but if persisted in, the blemishes will be entirely removed. . wrinkles.--this prescription is said to cure wrinkles: take one ounce of white wax and melt it to a gentle heat. add two ounces of the juice of lily bulbs, two ounces of honey, two drams of rose water, and a drop or two of ottar of roses. apply twice a day, rubbing the wrinkles the wrong way. always use tepid water for washing the face. . the hair.--the hair must be kept free from dust or it will fall out. one of the best things for cleaning it, is a raw egg rubbed into the roots and then washed out in several waters. the egg furnishes material for the hair to grow on, while keeping the scalp perfectly clean. apply once a month. . loss of hair.--when through sickness or headache the hair falls out, the following tonic may be applied with good effect: use one ounce of glycerine, one ounce of bay rum, one pint of strong sage tea, and apply every other night rubbing well into the scalp. * * * * * how to keep the bloom and grace of youth. the secret of its preservation. [illustration: mrs. wm. mckinley.] . the question most often asked by women is regarding the art of retaining, with advancing years, the bloom and grace of youth. this secret is not learned through the analysis of chemical compounds, but by a thorough study of nature's laws peculiar to their sex. it is useless for women with wrinkled faces, dimmed eyes and blemished skins to seek for external applications of beautifying balms and lotions to bring the glow of life and health into the face, and yet there are truths, simple yet wonderful, whereby the bloom of early life can be restored and retained, as should be the heritage of all god's children, sending the light of beauty into every woman's face. the secret: . do not bathe in hard water; soften it with a few drops of ammonia, or a little borax. . do not bathe the face while it is very warm, and never use very cold water. . do not attempt to remove dust with cold water; give your face a hot bath, using plenty of good soap, then give it a thorough rinsing with warm water. . do not rub your face with a coarse towel. . do not believe you can remove wrinkles by filling in the crevices with powder. give your face a russian bath every night; that is, bathe it with water so hot that you wonder how you can bear it, and then, a minute after, with moderately cold water, that will make your face glow with warmth; dry it with a soft towel. [illustration: male. female. showing the difference in form and proportion.] * * * * * form and deformity. . physical deformities.--masquerading is a modern accomplishment. girls wear tight shoes, burdensome skirts, corsets, etc., all of which prove so fatal to their health. at the age of seventeen or eighteen, our "young ladies" are sorry specimens of feminality; and palpitators, cosmetics and all the modern paraphernalia are required to make them appear fresh and blooming. man is equally at fault. a devotee to all the absurd devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress makes the man." but physical deformities are of far less importance than moral imperfections. . development of the individual.--it is not possible for human beings to attain their full stature of humanity, except by loving long and perfectly. behold that venerable man! he is mature in judgment, perfect in every action and expression, and saintly in goodness. you almost worship as you behold. what rendered him thus perfect? what rounded off his natural asperities, and moulded up his virtues? love mainly. it permeated every pore, and seasoned every fibre of his being, as could nothing else. mark that matronly woman. in the bosom of her family she is more than a queen and goddess combined. all her looks and actions express the outflowing of some or all of the human virtues. to know her is to love her. she became thus perfect, not in a day or year, but by a long series of appropriate means. then by what? chiefly in and by love, which is specially adapted thus to develop this maturity. . physical stature.--men and women generally increase in stature until the twenty-fifth year, and it is safe to assume, that perfection of function is not established until maturity of bodily development is completed. the physical contour of these representations plainly exhibits the difference in structure, and also implies difference of function. solidity and strength are represented by the organization of the male, grace and beauty by that of the female. his broad shoulders represent physical power and the right of dominion, while her bosom is the symbol of love and nutrition. * * * * * how to determine a perfect human figure. the proportions of the perfect human figure are strictly mathematical. the whole figure is six times the length of the foot. whether the form be slender or plump, this rule holds good. any deviation from it is a departure from the highest beauty of proportion. the greeks made all their statues according to this rule. the face, from the highest point of the forehead, where the hair begins, to the end of the chin, is one-tenth of the whole stature. the hand, from the wrist to the end of the middle finger, is the same. the chest is a fourth, and from the nipples to the top of the head is the same. from the top of the chest to the highest point of the forehead is a seventh. if the length of the face, from the roots of the hair to the chin, be divided into three equal parts, the first division determines the point where the eyebrows meet, and the second the place of the nostrils. the navel is the central point of the human body, and if a man should lie on his back with his arms and legs extended, the periphery of the circle which might be described around him, with the navel for its center, would touch the extremities of his hands and feet. the height from the feet to the top of the head is the same as the distance from the extremity of one hand to the extremity of the other when the arms are extended. [illustration: lady's dress in the days of greece.] the venus de medici is considered the most perfect model of the female forms, and has been the admiration of the world for ages. alexander walker, after minutely describing this celebrated statue, says: "all these admirable characteristics of the female form, the mere existence of which in woman must, one is tempted to imagine, be even to herself, a source of ineffable pleasure, these constitute a being worthy, as the personification of beauty, of occupying the temples of greece; present an object finer, alas, than nature even seems capable of producing; and offer to all nations and ages a theme of admiration and delight." well might thomson say: so stands the statue that enchants the world, so, bending, tries to vail the matchless boast-- the mingled beauties of exulting greece. we beg our readers to observe the form of the waist (evidently innocent of corsets and tight dresses) of this model woman, and also that of the greek slave in the accompanying outlines. these forms are such as unperverted nature and the highest art alike require. to compress the waist, and thereby change its form, pushing the ribs inward, displacing the vital organs, and preventing the due expansion of the lungs, is as destructive to beauty as it is to health. * * * * * the history, mystery, benefits and injuries of the corset. [illustration: the corset in the th century.] . the origin of the corset is lost in remote antiquity. the figures of the early egyptian women show clearly an artificial shape of the waist produced by some style of corset. a similar style of dress must also have prevailed among the ancient jewish maidens; for isaiah, in calling upon the women to put away their personal adornments, says: "instead of a girdle there shall be a rent, and instead of a stomacher (corset) a girdle of sackcloth." . homer also tells us of the cestus or girdle of venus, which was borrowed by the haughty juno with a view to increasing her personal attractions, that jupiter might be a more tractable and orderly husband. . coming down to the later times, we find the corset was used in france and england as early as the th century. . the most extensive and extreme use of the corset occurred in the th century, during the reign of catherine de medici of france and queen elizabeth of england. with catherine de medici a thirteen-inch waist measurement was considered the standard of fashion, while a thick waist was an abomination. no lady could consider her figure of proper shape unless she could span her waist with her two hands. to produce this result a strong rigid corset was worn night and day until the waist was laced down to the required size. then over this corset was placed the steel apparatus shown in the illustration on next page. this corset-cover reached from the hip to the throat, and produced a rigid figure over which the dress would fit with perfect smoothness. [illustration: steel corset worn in catherine's time.] . during the th century corsets were largely made from a species of leather known as "bend," which was not unlike that used for shoe soles, and measured nearly a quarter of an inch in thickness. one of the most popular corsets of the time was the corset and stomacher shown in the accompanying illustration. . about the time of the french revolution a reaction set in against tight lacing, and for a time there was a return to the early classical greek costume. this style of dress prevailed, with various modifications, until about when corsets and tight lacing again returned with threefold fury. buchan, a prominent writer of this period, says that it was by no means uncommon to see "a mother lay her daughter down upon the carpet, and, placing her foot upon her back, break half a dozen laces in tightening her stays." . it is reserved to our own time to demonstrate that corsets and tight lacing do not necessarily go hand in hand. distortion and feebleness are not beauty. a proper proportion should exist between the size of the waist and the breadth of the shoulders and hips, and if the waist is diminished below this proportion, it suggests disproportion and invalidism rather than grace and beauty. . the perfect corset is one which possesses just that degree of rigidity which will prevent it from wrinkling, but will at the same time allow freedom in the bending and twisting of the body. corsets boned with whalebone, horn or steel are necessarily stiff, rigid and uncomfortable. after a few days' wear the bones or steels become bent and set in position, or, as more frequently happens, they break and cause injury or discomfort to the wearer. . about seven years ago an article was discovered for the stiffening of corsets, which has revolutionized the corset industry of the world. this article is manufactured from the natural fibers of the mexican ixtle plant, and is known as coraline. it consists of straight, stiff fibers like bristles bound together into a cord by being wound with two strands of thread passing in opposite directions. this produces an elastic fiber intermediate in stiffness between twine and whalebone. it cannot break, but it possesses all the stiffness and flexibility necessary to hold the corset in shape and prevent its wrinkling. we congratulate the ladies of to-day upon the advantages they enjoy over their sisters of two centuries ago, in the forms and the graceful and easy curves of the corsets now made as compared with those of former times. [illustration] [illustration: forms of corsets in the time of elizabeth of england.] [illustration: egyptian corset.] * * * * * tight-lacing. it destroys natural beauty and creates an unpleasant and irritable temper. a tight-laced chest and a good disposition cannot go together. the human form has been molded by nature, the best shape is undoubtedly that which she has given it. to endeavor to render it more elegant by artificial means is to change it; to make it much smaller below and much larger above is to destroy its beauty; to keep it cased up in a kind of domestic cuirass is not only to deform it, but to expose the internal parts to serious injury. under such compression as is commonly practiced by ladies, the development of the bones, which are still tender, does not take place conformably to the intention of nature, because nutrition is necessarily stopped, and they consequently become twisted and deformed. [illustration: the natural waist. the effects of lacing.] those who wear these appliances of tight-lacing often complain that they cannot sit upright without them--are sometimes, indeed, compelled to wear them during all the twenty-four hours; a fact which proves to what extent such articles weaken the muscles of the trunk. the injury does not fall merely on the internal structure of the body, but also on its beauty, and on the temper and feelings with which that beauty is associated. beauty is in reality but another name for expression of countenance, which is the index of sound health, intelligence, good feelings and peace of mind. all are aware that uneasy feelings, existing habitually in the breast, speedily exhibit their signature on the countenance, and that bitter thoughts or a bad temper spoil the human expression of its comeliness and grace. [illustration: natural hair.] * * * * * the care of the hair. . the color of the hair.--the color of the hair corresponds with that of the skin--being dark or black, with a dark complexion, and red or yellow with a fair skin. when a white skin is seen in conjunction with black hair, as among the women of syria and barbary, the apparent exception arises from protection from the sun's rays, and opposite colors are often found among people of one prevailing feature. thus red-haired jews are not uncommon, though the nation in general have dark complexion and hair. . the imperishable nature of hair.--the imperishable nature of hair arises from the combination of salt and metals in its composition. in old tombs and on mummies it has been found in a perfect state, after a lapse of over two thousand years. there are many curious accounts proving the indestructibility of the human hair. . tubular.--in the human family the hairs are tubular, the tubes being intersected by partitions, resembling in some degree the cellular tissue of plants. their hollowness prevents incumbrance from weight, while their power of resistance is increased by having their traverse sections rounded in form. . cautions.--it is ascertained that a full head of hair, beard and whiskers, are a prevention against colds and consumptions. occasionally, however, it is found necessary to remove the hair from the head, in cases of fever or disease, to stay the inflammatory symptoms, and to relieve the brain. the head should invariably be kept cool. close night-caps are unhealthy, and smoking-caps and coverings for the head within doors are alike detrimental to the free growth of the hair, weakening it, and causing it to fall out. how to beautify and preserve the hair. . to beautify the hair.--keep the head clean, the pores of the skin open, and the whole circulatory system in a healthy condition, and you will have no need of bear's grease (alias hog's lard). where there is a tendency in the hair to fall off on account of the weakness or sluggishness of the circulation, or an unhealthy state of the skin, cold water and friction with a tolerably stiff brush are probably the best remedial agents. . barber's shampoos.--are very beneficial if properly prepared. they should not be made too strong. avoid strong shampoos of any kind. great caution should be exercised in this matter. . care of the hair.--to keep the hair healthy, keep the head clean. brush the scalp well with a stiff brush, while dry. then wash with castile soap, and rub into the roots bay rum, brandy or camphor water. this done twice a month will prove beneficial. brush the scalp thoroughly twice a week. dampen the hair with soft water at the toilet, and do not use oil. . hair wash.--take one ounce of borax, half an ounce of camphor powder--these ingredients fine--and dissolve them in one quart of boiling water. when cool, the solution will be ready for use. dampen the hair frequently. this wash is said not only to cleanse and beautify, but to strengthen the hair, preserve the color and prevent baldness. another excellent wash.--the best wash we know for cleansing and softening the hair is an egg beaten up and rubbed well into the hair, and afterwards washed out with several washes of warm water. . the only sensible and safe hair oil.--the following is considered a most valuable preparation: take of extract of yellow peruvian bark, fifteen grains; extract of rhatany root, eight grains; extract of burdoch root and oil of nutmegs (fixed), of each two drachms; camphor (dissolve with spirits of wine), fifteen grains; beef marrow, two ounces; best olive oil, one ounce; citron juice, half a drachm; aromatic essential oil, as much as sufficient to render it fragrant; mix and make into an ointment. two drachms of bergamot, and a few drops of attar of roses would suffice. . hair wash.--a good hair wash is soap and water, and the oftener it is applied the freer the surface of the head will be from scurf. the hair-brush should also be kept in requisition morning and evening. . to remove superfluous hair.--with those who dislike the use of arsenic, the following is used for removing superfluous hair from the skin: lime, one ounce; carbonate of potash, two ounces; charcoal powder, one drachm. for use, make it into a paste with a little warm water, and apply it to the part, previously shaved close. as soon as it has become thoroughly dry, it may be washed off with a little warm water. . coloring for eyelashes and eyebrows.--in eyelashes the chief element of beauty consists in their being long and glossy; the eyebrows should be finely arched and clearly divided from each other. the most innocent darkener of the brow is the expressed juice of the elderberry, or a burnt clove. [illustration: japanese mousine making her toilet.] . crimping hair.--to make the hair stay in crimps, take five cents worth of gum arabic and add to it just enough boiling water to dissolve it. when dissolved, add enough alcohol to make it rather thin. let this stand all night and then bottle it to prevent the alcohol from evaporating. this put on the hair at night, after it is done up in papers or pins, will make it stay in crimp the hottest day, and is perfectly harmless. . to curl the hair.--there is no preparation that will make naturally straight hair assume a permanent curl. the following will keep the hair in curl for a short time: take borax, two ounces; gum arabic, one drachm; and hot water, not boiling, one quart; stir, and, as soon as the ingredients are dissolved, add three tablespoonfuls of strong spirits of camphor. on retiring to rest, wet the hair with the above liquid, and roll in twists of paper as usual. do not disturb the hair until morning, when untwist and form into ringlets. . for falling or loosening of the hair.--take: alcohol, a half pint. salt, as much as will dissolve. glycerine, a tablespoonful. flour of sulphur, teaspoonful. mix. rub on the scalp every morning. . to darken the hair without bad effects.--take: blue vitriol (powdered), one drachm. alcohol, one ounce. essence of roses, ten drops. rain-water, a half-pint. shake together until they are thoroughly dissolved. . gray hair.--there are no known means by which the hair can be prevented from turning gray, and none which can restore it to its original hue, except through the process of dyeing. the numerous "hair color restorers" which are advertised are chemical preparations which act in the manner of a dye or as a paint, and are nearly always dependent for their power on the presence of lead. this mineral, applied to the skin, for a long time, will lead to the most disastrous maladies--lead-palsy, lead colic, and other symptoms of poisoning. it should, therefore, never be used for this purpose. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * how to cure pimples or other facial eruptions. . it requires self-denial to get rid of pimples, for persons troubled with them will persist in eating fat meats and other articles of food calculated to produce them. avoid the use of rich gravies, or pastry, or anything of the kind in excess. take all the out-door exercise you can and never indulge in a late supper. retire at a reasonable hour, and rise early in the morning. sulphur to purify the blood may be taken three times a week--a thimbleful in a glass of milk before breakfast. it takes some time for the sulphur to do its work, therefore persevere in its use till the humors, or pimples, or blotches, disappear. avoid getting wet while taking the sulphur. . try this recipe: wash the face twice a day in warm water, and rub dry with a coarse towel. then with a soft towel rub in a lotion made of two ounces of white brandy, one ounce of cologne, and one-half ounce of liquor potasse. persons subject to skin eruptions should avoid very salty or fat food. a dose of epsom salts occasionally might prove beneficial. . wash the face in a dilution of carbolic acid, allowing one teaspoonful to a pint of water. this is an excellent and purifying lotion, and may be used on the most delicate skins. be careful about letting this wash get into the eyes. . oil of sweet almonds, one ounce; fluid potash, one drachm. shake well together, and then add rose water, one ounce; pure water, six ounces. mix. rub the pimples or blotches for some minutes with a rough towel, and then dab them with the lotion. . dissolve one ounce of borax, and sponge the face with it every night. when there are insects, rub on flower of sulphur, dry after washing, rub well and wipe dry; use plenty of castile soap. . dilute corrosive sublimate with oil of almonds. a few days' application will remove them. * * * * * black-heads and flesh worms. [illustration: a regular flesh worm greatly magnified.] this is a minute little creature, scientifically called _demodex folliculorum_, hardly visible to the naked eye, with comparatively large fore body, a more slender hind body and eight little stumpy processes that do duty as legs. no specialized head is visible, although of course there is a mouth orifice. these creatures live on the sweat glands or pores of the human face, and owing to the appearance that they give to the infested pores, they are usually known as "black-heads." it is not at all uncommon to see an otherwise pretty face disfigured by these ugly creatures, although the insects themselves are nearly transparent white. the black appearance is really due the accumulation of dirt which gets under the edges of the skin of the enlarged sweat glands and cannot be removed in the ordinary way by washing, because the abnormal, hardened secretion of the gland itself becomes stained. these insects are so lowly organized that it is almost impossible to satisfactory deal with them and they sometimes cause the continual festering of the skin which they inhabit. remedy.--press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and fingers, and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening. wash every morning with the best toilet soap, or wash the face with hot water with a soft flannel at bedtime. [illustration: a healthy complexion.] * * * * * love. but there's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream.--moore. all love is sweet, given or returned. common as light is love, and its familiar voice wearies not ever.--shelley. doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt i love.--shakespeare. let those love now who never loved before, let those that always loved now love the more. . love blends young hearts.--love blends young hearts in blissful unity, and, for the time, so ignores past ties and affections, as to make willing separation of the son from his father's house, and the daughter from all the sweet endearments of her childhood's home, to go out together and rear for themselves an altar, around which shall cluster all the cares and delights, the anxieties and sympathies, of the family relationship; this love, if pure, unselfish, and discreet, constitutes the chief usefulness and happiness of human life. . without love.--without love there would be no organized households, and, consequently, none of that earnest endeavor for competence and respectability, which is the mainspring to human effort; none of those sweet, softening, restraining and elevating influences of domestic life, which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the lord and make glad the city of zion. this love is indeed heaven upon earth; but above would not be heaven without it; where there is not love, there is fear; but, "love casteth out fear." and yet we naturally do offend what we most love. . love is the sun of life.--most beautiful in morning and evening, but warmest and steadiest at noon. it is the sun of the soul. life without love is worse than death; a world without a sun. the love which does not lead to labor will soon die out, and the thankfulness which does not embody itself in sacrifices is already changing to gratitude. love is not ripened in one day, nor in many, nor even in a human lifetime. it is the oneness of soul with soul in appreciation and perfect trust. to be blessed it must rest in that faith in the divine which underlies every other motion. to be true, it must be eternal as god himself. . love is dependent.--remember that love is dependent upon forms; courtesy of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart. how many hearts have been lost irrevocably, and how many averted eyes and cold looks have been gained from what seemed, perhaps, but a trifling negligence of forms. [illustration: age counseling youth.] . radical differences.--men and women should not be judged by the same rules. there are many radical differences in their affectional natures. man is the creature of interest and ambition. his nature leads him forth into the struggle and bustle of the world. love is but the embellishment of his early life, or a song piped in the intervals of the acts. he seeks for fame, for fortune, for space in the world's thoughts, and dominion over his fellow-men. but a woman's whole life is a history of the affections. the heart is her world; it is there her ambition strives for empire; it is there her ambition seeks for hidden treasures. she sends forth her sympathies on adventure; she embarks her whole soul in the traffic of affection; and if shipwrecked her case is hopeless, for it is bankruptcy of the heart. . woman's love.--woman's love is stronger than death; it rises superior to adversity, and towers in sublime beauty above the niggardly selfishness of the world. misfortune cannot suppress it; enmity cannot alienate it; temptation cannot enslave it. it is the guardian angel of the nursery and the sick bed; it gives an affectionate concord to the partnership of life and interest, circumstances cannot modify it; it ever remains the same to sweeten existence, to purify the cup of life, on the rugged pathway to the grave, and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man. it is the ministering spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses over the cradle, and the death-bed of the household, and filling up the urn of all its sacred memories. . a lady's complexion.--he who loves a lady's complexion, form and features, loves not her true self, but her soul's old clothes. the love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers and dies. the love that is fed with presents always requires feeding. love, and love only, is the loan for love. love is of the nature of a burning glass, which, kept still in one place, fireth; changed often, it doth nothing. the purest joy we can experience in one we love, is to see that person a source of happiness to others. when you are with the person loved, you have no sense of being bored. this humble and trivial circumstance is the great test--the only sure and abiding test of love. . two souls come together.--when two souls come together, each seeking to magnify the other, each in subordinate sense worshiping the other, each help the other; the two flying together so that each wing-beat of the one helps each wing-beat of the other--when two souls come together thus, they are lovers. they who unitedly move themselves away from grossness and from earth, toward the throne of crystaline and the pavement golden, are, indeed, true lovers. [illustration: love making in the early colonial days.] [illustration: cupid's captured victim.] * * * * * the power and peculiarities of love. love is a tonic and a remedy for disease, makes people look younger, creates industry, etc. "all thoughts, all passions, all desires. whatever stirs this mortal frame, are ministers of love, and feed his sacred flame." . it is a physiological fact long demonstrated that persons possessing a loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life, and also live much longer than persons with a strong, narrow and selfish nature. persons who love scenery, love domestic animals, show great attachment for all friends; love their home dearly and find interest and enchantment in almost everything have qualities of mind and heart which indicate good health and a happy disposition. . persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a tune, are persons that need not be feared, they are kind-hearted and with few exceptions possess a loving disposition. very few good musicians become criminals. . parents that cultivate a love among their children will find that the same feeling will soon be manifested in their children's disposition. sunshine in the hearts of the parents will blossom in the lives of the children. the parent who continually cherishes a feeling of dislike and rebellion in his soul, cultivating moral hatred against his fellow-man, will soon find the same things manifested by his son. as the son resembles his father in looks so he will to a certain extent resemble him in character. love in the heart of the parent will beget kindness and affection in the heart of a child. continuous scolding and fretting in the home will soon make love a stranger. . if you desire to cultivate love, create harmony in all your feelings and faculties. remember that all that is pure, holy and virtuous in love flows from the deepest fountain of the human soul. poison the fountain and you change virtue to vice, and happiness to misery. . love strengthens health, and disappointment cultivates disease. a person in love will invariably enjoy the best of health. ninety-nine per cent. of our strong constitutioned men, now in physical ruin, have wrecked themselves on the breakers of an unnatural love. nothing but right love and a right marriage will restore them to health. . all men feel much better for going a courting, providing they court purely. nothing tears the life out of man more than lust, vulgar thoughts and immoral conduct. the libertine or harlot has changed love, god's purest gift to man, into lust. they cannot acquire love in its purity again, the sacred flame has vanished forever. love is pure, and cannot be found in the heart of a seducer. . a woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in love. many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of some deadly disease and restored to health by falling in love. . it is a long established fact that married persons are healthier than unmarried persons; thus it proves that health and happiness belong to the home. health depends upon mind. love places the mind into a delightful state and quickens every human function, makes the blood circulate and weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic love. . an old but true proverb: "a true man loving one woman will speak well of all women. a true woman loving one man will speak well of all men. a good wife praises all men, but praises her husband most. a good man praises all women, but praises his wife most." . persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant, winning and tender. it is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do his best until he has been deeply in love. a good orator, a great statesman or great men in general are greater and better for having once been thoroughly in love. a man who truly loves his wife and home is always a safe man to trust. . love makes people look younger in years. people in unhappy homes look older and more worn and fatigued. a woman at thirty, well courted and well married, looks five or ten years younger than a woman of the same age unhappily married. old maids and bachelors always look older than they are. a flirting widow always looks younger than an old maid of like age. . love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband spends lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards others. . love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. beauty in walk and beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out the finest traits of her character, she walks more erect and is more generous and forgiving; her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all about her. she works better, sings better and is better. . now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance policy; it pays dividends every day, while every other insurance policy merely promises to pay after death. remember that statistics demonstrate that married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by a goodly number of years and enjoy healthier and happier lives. [illustration: the turkish way of making love] [illustration: preparing to entertain her lover.] [illustration: confidence.] * * * * * amativeness or connubial love. . multiplying the race.--some means for multiplying our race is necessary to prevent its extinction by death. propagation and death appertain to man's earthly existence. if the deity had seen fit to bring every member of the human family into being by a direct act of creative power, without the agency of parents, the present wise and benevolent arrangements of husbands and wives, parents and children, friends and neighbors, would have been superseded, and all opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love, in which so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. but the domestic feelings and relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical observer as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite wisdom and goodness combined. . amativeness and its combinations constitute their origin, counterpart, and main medium of manifestation. its primary function is connubial love. from it, mainly, spring those feelings which exist between the sexes as such and result in marriage and offspring. combined with the higher sentiments, it gives rise to all those reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies which each sex manifests towards the other; refining and elevating both, promoting gentility and politeness, and greatly increasing social and general happiness. . renders men more polite to women.--so far from being in the least gross or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous, and even an ingredient in good manners. it is this which renders men always more polite towards women than to one another, and more refined in their society, and which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel and tender towards men than women. it makes mothers love their sons more than their daughters, and fathers more attached to their daughters. man's endearing recollections of his mother or wife form his most powerful incentives to virtue, study, and good deeds, as well as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in proportion as a young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will he be fond of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both. . all should cultivate the faculty of amativeness or connubial love.--study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the other sex by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful movements and elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the tones and accents of the voice. never be gruff if you desire to be winning. seek and enjoy and reciprocate fond looks and feelings. before you can create favorable impressions you must first be honest and sincere and natural, and your conquest will be sure and certain. * * * * * love and common-sense. . do not love her because she goes to the altar with her head full of book learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano and brush; because she has no conception of the duties and responsibilities of a wife; because she hates housework, hates its everlasting routine and ever recurring duties; because she hates children and will adopt every means to evade motherhood; because she loves her ease, loves to have her will supreme, loves, oh how well, to be free to go and come, to let the days slip idly by, to be absolved from all responsibility, to live without labor, without care? will you love her selfish, shirking, calculating nature after twenty years of close companionship? . do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how weak mentally, morally or physically he may be, he has vested in him the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence? because you would rather be mrs. nobody, than make the effort to be miss somebody? because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot live without him? god grant the time may never come when you cannot live with him. . do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are absolute purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her disposition; for her loving, charitable thought; for her strength of character? because she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the sorrowful, capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief, because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues? . do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women; because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath; because mentally he is a man among men; because physically he stands head and shoulders above the masses; because morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his thought, word or deed? because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on god's side? . but there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly matured, delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care and keeping. that if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened, her happiness, which is largely dependent upon her health, is destroyed. . until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart; until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts. . until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and modesty in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only strengthen. until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all things known to humanity, will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and discontent, instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and enjoy. . be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, and happiness through life will be your reward. [illustration: a caller.] [illustration] * * * * * what women love in men. . women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. the ideal man in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. woman naturally despises a coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man. . woman naturally loves her lord and master. women who desperately object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely rule and control. . man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal of the forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect his wife and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which make him a protector. . large men.--women naturally love men of strength, size and fine physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and weak man. a woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any love for him. . small and weakly men.--all men would be of good size in frame and flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before. . youthful sexual excitement.--there are many children born healthy and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children will have small bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. it is therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these symptoms of physical debility. . generosity.--woman generally loves a generous man. religion absorbs a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, etc., and ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman receives more gifts from man than all these combined: she loves a generous giver. _generosity and gallantry_ are the jewels which she most admires. a woman receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love, and the woman who accepts a man's presents, and does not respect him, commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven. . intelligence.--above all other qualities in man, woman admires his intelligence. intelligence is man's woman captivating card. this character in woman is illustrated by an english army officer, as told by o.s. fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, summoned to india, who wrote back to her: "i have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and begrimmed besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed soldier. yet, i love you too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me, from which i hereby release you. find among english peers one physically more perfect, whom you can love better." she answered, as all genuine women must answer: "your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which maimed you, are what i love. as long as you retain sufficient body to contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what i admire, i love you all the same, and long to make you mine forever." . soft men.--all women despise soft and silly men more than all other defects in their character. woman never can love a man whose conversation is flat and insipid. every man seeking woman's appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books and daily papers. he should read books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day. even an ignorant woman always loves superior intelligence. . sexual vigor.--women love sexual vigor in men. this is human nature. weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, though the mother may be strong and robust. a weak mother often bears strong children, if the father is physically and sexually vigorous. consumption is often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the body, yet more women die with it because of female obstructions. hence women love passion in men, because it endows their offspring with strong functional vigor. . passionate men--the less passion any woman possesses, the more she prizes a strong passionate man. this is a natural consequence, for if she married one equally passionless, their children would be poorly endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes up the deficiency. hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and reserved women. . homely men are admired by women if they are large, strong and vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. looks are trifles compared with the other qualities which man may possess. . young man, if you desire to win the love and admiration of young ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you read, so you can talk about it. second, be generous and do not show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may say. ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own. woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue. . be self-supporting.--the young man who gives evidence of thrift is always in demand. be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you undertake. a young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. woman admires a certainty. . uniformed men.--it is a well known fact that women love uniformed men. the soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry than the man without uniform. the correct reason is, the soldier's profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he wears. his profession is also that of a protector. [illustration] * * * * * what men love in women. . female beauty.--men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is the highest type of all beauty. a handsome woman needs no diamonds, no silks or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in calico. . false beautifiers.--man's love of female beauty surpasses all other love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. artificial beauty is always an imitation, and never can come into competition with the genuine. no art can successfully imitate nature. . true kind of beauty.--facial beauty is only skin deep. a beautiful form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. a brilliant face always outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. good looks and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. a girl must therefore be charming as well as beautiful, for a charming girl will never become a charmless wife. . a good female body.--no weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's love like a strong, well developed body. a round, plump figure with an overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother. a good body and vigorous health, therefore, become indispensable to female beauty. . broad hips.--a woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak sexuality. the other portions of the body however must be in harmony with the size and breadth of the hips. . full busts.--in the female beauty of physical development there is nothing that can equal full breasts. it is an indication of good health and good maternal qualities. as a face looks bad without a nose, so the female breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad effect. the female breasts are the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth, hence it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood. cotton and all other false forms simply show the value of natural ones. all false forms are easily detected, because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life. as woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all objections to their use. a full breast has been man's admiration through all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see his child brought up on a bottle. men love full breasts, because it promotes maternity. if, however, the breasts are abnormally large, it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or extreme. . small feet.--small feet and small ankles are very attractive, because they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire perfection. small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while large feet and ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, predominance. feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the body, as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and consequently not beautiful. . beautiful arms.--as the arm is always in proportion with the other portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty not inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms may be proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a fine figure. . intelligence.--a mother must naturally possess intelligence, in order to rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and practicability depend upon intelligence. therefore a man generally loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of companionship. if a woman desires to be loved, she must cultivate her intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in society, and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty. . piety and religion in women.--men who love home and the companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. it is this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire women of moral and religious natures. it is therefore not strange that immoral men love moral and church-loving wives. man naturally admires the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home. men want good and pure children, and it is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment and happiness. a bad man, of course, does not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost to get one. . false appearance.--men love reserved, coy and discreet women much more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. falsehood, false hair, false curls, false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all that is false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a poor foundation on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men, but a frank, honest, conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid, except as a matter of choice and not of necessity. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * history of marriage. . "it is not good for man to be alone," was the divine judgment, and so god created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as divine as the soul. . polygamy.--polygamy has existed in all ages. it is and always has been the result of moral degradation and wantonness. . the garden of eden.--the garden of eden was no harem. primeval nature knew no community of love; there was only the union of two souls, and the twain were made one flesh. if god had intended man to be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives; but he only created one wife for the first man. he also directed noah to take into the ark two of each sort--a male and female--another evidence that god believed in pairs only. . abraham no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were national customs, and not the institutions authorized by god. . egyptian history.--egyptian history, in the first ostensible form we have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice. . solomon.--it is not strange that solomon, with his thousand wives, exclaimed: "all is vanity and vexation of spirit." polygamy is not the natural state of man. . concubinage and polygamy continued till the fifth century, when the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some concern and recognition. before this woman was regarded simply as an instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify the passions of man. . the chinese marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could have but one wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired. . mohammedanism.--of the , , mohammedans all are polygamists. their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the voluptuous character of the orientals has penetrated western europe and africa. . mormonism.--the mormon church, founded by joseph smith, practiced polygamy until the beginning of , when the church formally declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their religious institution. yet all mormons are polygamists at heart. it is a part of their religion; national law alone restrains them. . free lovers.--there is located at lenox, madison county, new york, an organization popularly known as free lovers. the members advocate a system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom of love for any and all. man offers woman support and love; woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union. in their system, love is made synonymous with sexuality, and there is no doubt, but what woman is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice. . monogamy (single wife), is a law of nature evident from the fact that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: the development of the individual, the welfare of society and reproduction. in no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights, and the condition of woman is that of a slave. in polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and civilization. the natural tendency is sensualism, and sensualism tends to mental starvation. . christian civilization has lifted woman from slavery to liberty. wherever christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, pure homes and education. may god bless the purity of the home. * * * * * marriage. "thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure, married in haste we may repent at leisure." --shakespeare the parties are wedded. the priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. the assembled guests congratulate the happy pair. the fair bride has left her dear mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will. they enter the carriage. it drives off on the wedding tour, and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now all his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her choice. if she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad. if she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a pang will shoot across her fair bosom. if she has married without due consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow before long. but, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring. [illustration] * * * * * the advantages of wedlock. 'tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark, bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home 'tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark our coming, and look brighter when we come. byron, don juan . marriage is the natural state of man and woman. matrimony greatly contributes to the wealth and health of man. . circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late in life. many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and sisters to care for, yet family ties are cultivated; notwithstanding the home is without a wife. . in christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the health of man. marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no marriage ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. there can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married companion. all the licentiousness and lust of a libertine, whether civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and premature decay. . a man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap trouble and unhappiness. a young couple should first carefully learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and understood. . first see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; thirdly, see that there are no physical defects, and if these conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you. . the happiest place on all earth is home. a loving wife and lovely children are jewels without price, as payne says: "'mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam. be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." . reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. the elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage. . the consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the union of souls in a true marriage. whatever of beauty or romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. the crown of wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden. passion is lost--emotions predominate. . too early marriages.--too early marriage is always bad for the female. if a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased. . boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial state. they are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance. . long life.--statistics show that married men live longer than bachelors. child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity. . complexion.--marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to old age. . temptations removed.--marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. it must be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious man. the comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul. . total abstention.--it is no doubt difficult for some men to fully abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind. the great majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire. abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control. the hermit in his seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed with these passions and trials. it is, however, natural; for remove these passions and man would be no longer a man. it is evident that the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he who avoids that state is not in harmony with the laws of his being. [illustration: an algerian bride.] . prostitution.--men who inherit strong passions easily argue themselves into the belief either to practice masturbation or visit places of prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it. though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet many believe it. the consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by man, and it is the balm of gilead for many ills. masturbation or prostitution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have. manhood is morality and purity of purpose, not sensuality. * * * * * disadvantages of celibacy. . to live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many disadvantages. the man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor secret vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues that make a good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried. . if a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious loss of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or congestion, nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe. celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical strength. regularity in the habits of life will always have its good effects on the human body. . the average life of a married man is much longer than that of a bachelor. there is quite an alarming odds in the united states in favor of a man with a family. it is claimed that the married man lives on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. the married man lives a more regular life. he has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in sickness, and in every way a happier and more contented man. the happiness of wife and children will always add comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married. . it is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single men than among married men. let the young man be pure in heart like bunyan's pilgrim, and he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions, and overcome the ravenous fires of passion, unscathed. the vices of single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society, hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure. his future happiness largely depends upon his chastity while a single man. [illustration: "made in u.s.a."] [illustration: i will never marry.] * * * * * old maids. . modern origin.--the prejudice which certainly still exists in the average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively modern origin. from the earliest ages to ancient greece, and rome particularly, the highest honors were paid them. they were the ministers of the old religions, and regarded with superstitious awe. . matrimony.--since the reformation, especially during the last century, and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed, notably by women, that it has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to remain single. old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and disdain, arising no doubt from the belief, conscious or unconscious, that they would not be what they are if they could help it. few persons have a good word for them as a class. we are constantly hearing of lovely maidens, charming wives, buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids. . discarding prejudice.--the real old maid is like any other woman. she has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived of. she is often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, cultured, warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both sexes. these constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel that she must have had many opportunities. some of them may know why; she may have made them her confidantes. she usually has a sentimental, romantic, frequently a sad and pathetic past, of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy. . not quarrelsome.--she is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious. on the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, patient and serene,--more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic cares to tire and trouble them. . remain single from necessity.--it is a stupid, as well as a heinous mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. almost any woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation attests. when we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs of matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have been totally neglected? we may meet those who do not look inviting. but we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting. . first offer.--the appearance and outgiving of many wives denote that they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers. it is undeniable, that wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids have, in the mass. but, as the majority of women are married, they are no more criticised nor commented on, in the bulk, than the whole sex are. they are spoken of individually as pretty or plain, bright or dull, pleasant or unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, and almost always unfavorable. [illustration: "i have changed my mind."] . becomes a wife.--many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy having induced her to change her state. probably no other man of his kind has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. after her marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming, thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy. old maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for opportunities, but for proposers of an acceptable sort. they may have, indeed they are likely to have, those, but not to meet these. . no longer marry for support.--the time has changed and women have changed with it. they have grown more sensible, more independent in disposition as well as circumstances. they no longer marry for support; they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and self-support has developed them in every way. assured that they can get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by the assurance for consortship. they have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes, and have so improved in person, mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of forty years ago. [illustration: convincing his wife.] * * * * * when and whom to marry. . early marriages.--women too early married always remain small in stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. we have no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. it is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and mind has taken place. a young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "first make the tree good, then shall the fruit be good also." . if marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity, idiocy, and other maladies. . puberty.--this is the period when childhood passes from immaturity of the sexual functions to maturity. woman attains this state a year or two sooner than man. in the hotter climates the period of puberty is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as russia, the united states, and canada, puberty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year. . diseased parents.--we do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the number of hereditary invalids. whole families of children have fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of parents. no young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble constitution. it only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife. on the other hand, no healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the hardships of life. if a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. courting a patient may be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. the young lady who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake. [illustration: life insurance companies demand physical examination. why not matrimony?] . whom to choose for a husband.--the choice of a husband requires the coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity. a true union based on organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water will not mix: the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord. "let the woman take an elder than herself, so wears she to him-- so sways she, rules in her husband's heart." look carefully at the disposition.--see that your intended spouse is kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others, though not in sympathy with them. don't marry a selfish tyrant who thinks only of himself. . be careful.--don't marry an intemperate man with a view of reforming him. thousands have tried it and failed. misery, sorrow and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such generous undertakings. . the true and only test which any man should look for in woman is modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste wife. . marrying first cousins is dangerous to offspring. the observation is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. first cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to their children. if both are healthy there is less danger. . do not choose one too good, or too far above you, lest the inferior dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than the trials of a single life. don't be too particular; for you might go farther and fare worse. as far as you yourself are faulty, you should put up with faults. don't cheat a consort by getting one much better than you can give. we are not in heaven yet, and must put up with their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better than none, if he loves you. . marrying for money.--those who seek only the society of those who can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment. wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness. marry because you love each other, and god will bless your home. a cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a discontented and unloving queen. . difference in age.--it is generally admitted that the husband should be a few years older than the wife. the question seems to be how much difference. up to twenty-two those who propose marriage should be about the same age; however, other things being equal, a difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five, need not prevent a marriage. a man of forty-five may marry a woman of twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen, because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his, and again her natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than he is likely to bestow. a girl of twenty or under should seldom if ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly man for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like that of a daughter to a father. he may pet, flatter and indulge her as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man requires from his wife. . the best time.--all things considered, we advise the male reader to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the age of twenty. after those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of action, and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature to play his proper part. . select carefully.--while character, health, accomplishments and social position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental construction and physical conformation. the rule always to be followed in choosing a life partner is _identity of taste and diversity of temperament_. another essential is that they be physically adapted to each other. for example: the pelvis--that part of the anatomy containing all the internal organs of gestation--is not only essential to beauty and symmetry, but is a matter of vital importance to her who contemplates matrimony, and its usual consequences. therefore, the woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state, while the birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains, or even cost her her life. [illustration: explaining the need of a new hat.] * * * * * choose intellectually--love afterward. . love.--let it ever be remembered that love is one of the most sacred elements of our nature, and the most dangerous with which to tamper. it is a very beautiful and delicately contrived faculty, producing the most delightful results, but easily thrown out of repair--like a tender plant, the delicate fibers of which incline gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one, uniting two willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties, and making of "twain one flesh": but they are easily torn asunder, and then adieu to the joys of connubial bliss! . courting by the quarter.--this courting by the quarter, "here a little and there a little," is one of the greatest evils of the day. this getting a little in love with julia, and then a little with eliza, and a little more with mary,--this fashionable flirtation and coquetry of both sexes--is ruinous to the domestic affections; besides, effectually preventing the formation of true connubial love. i consider this dissipation of the affections one of the greatest sins against heaven, ourselves, and the one trifled with, that can be committed. . frittering away affections.--young men commence courting long before they think of marrying, and where they entertain no thoughts of marriage. they fritter away their own affections, and pride themselves on their conquests over the female heart; triumphing in having so nicely fooled them. they pursue this sinful course so far as to drive their pitiable victims, one after another, from respectable society, who, becoming disgraced, retaliate by heaping upon them all the indignities and impositions which the fertile imagination of woman can invent or execute. . courting without intending to marry.--nearly all this wide-spread crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness and prostitution, has its origin in these unmeaning courtships--this premature love--this blighting of the affections, and every young man who courts without intending to marry, is throwing himself or his sweet-heart into _this hell upon earth._ and most of the blame rests on young men, because they take the liberty of paying their addresses to the ladies and discontinuing them, at pleasure, and thereby mainly cause this vice. . setting their caps.--true, young ladies sometimes "set their caps," sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate manners; by the natural language of love, or that backward reclining and affectionate roll of the head which expresses it; by their soft and persuasive accents; by their low dresses, artificial forms, and many other unnatural and affected ways and means of attracting attention and exciting love; but women never court till they have been in love and experienced its interruption, till their first and most tender fibres of love have been frost-bitten by disappointment. it is surely a sad condition of society. [illustration: motherhood.] . trampling the affections of women.--but man is a self-privileged character. he may not only violate the laws of his own social nature with impunity, but he may even trample upon the affections of woman. he may even carry this sinful indulgence to almost any length, and yet be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman; aye, even by virtuous woman. he may call out, only to blast the glowing affections of one young lady after another, and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed by others. surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his addresses, not only to a lady, but even to the ladies, although he does not once entertain the thought of marrying his sweet-heart, or, rather his victim. o, man, how depraved! o, woman, how strangely blind to your own rights and interests! . an infallible sign.--an infallible sign that a young man's intentions are improper, is his trying to excite your passions. if he loves you, he will never appeal to that feeling, because he respects you too much for that. and the woman who allows a man to take advantage of her just to compel him to marry her, is lost and heartless in the last degree, and utterly destitute of moral principle as well as virtue. a woman's riches is her virtue, that gone she has lost all. . the beginning of licentiousness.--man it seldom drives from society. do what he may, woman, aye, virtuous and even pious woman rarely excludes him from her list of visitors. but where is the point of propriety?--immoral transgression should exclude either sex from respectable society. is it that one false step which now constitutes the boundary between virtue and vice? or rather, the discovery of that false step? certainly not! but it is all that leads to, and precedes and induces it. it is this courting without marrying. this is the beginning of licentiousness, as well as its main, procuring cause, and therefore infinitely worse than its consummation merely. . searing the social affections.--he has seared his social affections so deeply, so thoroughly, so effectually, that when, at last, he wishes to marry, he is incapable of loving. he marries, but is necessarily cold-hearted towards his wife, which of course renders her wretched, if not jealous, and reverses the faculties of both towards each other; making both most miserable for life. this induces contention and mutual recrimination, if not unfaithfulness, and imbitters the marriage relations through life; and well it may. . unhappy marriages.--this very cause, besides inducing most of that unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to, renders a large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy. good people mourn over the result, but do not once dream of its cause. they even pray for moral reform, yet do the very things that increase the evil. . weeping over her fallen son.--do you see yonder godly mother, weeping over her fallen son, and remonstrating with him in tones of a mother's tenderness and importunity? that very mother prevented that very son marrying the girl he dearly loved, because she was poor, and this interruption of his love was the direct and procuring cause of his ruin; for, if she had allowed him to marry this beloved one, he never would have thought of giving his "strength unto strange women." true, the mother ruined her son ignorantly, but none the less effectually. . seduction and ruin.--that son next courts another virtuous fair one, engages her affections, and ruins her, or else leaves her broken-hearted, so that she is the more easily ruined by others, and thus prepares the way for her becoming an inmate of a house "whose steps take hold on hell." his heart is now indifferent, he is ready for anything. . the right principle.--i say then, with emphasis, that no man should ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his selection, not even to aid him in making that choice. he should first make his selection intellectually, and love afterward. he should go about the matter coolly and with judgment, just as he would undertake any other important matter. no man or woman, when blinded by love, is in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires, or who is adapted to his or her wants. . choosing first and loving afterwards.--i know, indeed, that this doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love from the councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the intellect and moral sentiments, is entirely at variance with the feelings of the young and the customs of society; but, for its correctness, i appeal to the common-sense--not to the experience, for so few try this plan. is not this the only proper method, and the one most likely to result happily? try it. . the young woman's caution.--and, especially, let no young lady ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they will not be broken off--that is, until the match is fully agreed upon, but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life. this requisition is as much more important, and its violation as much more disastrous to woman than to man, as her social faculties are stronger than his. . a burnt child dreads the fire.--as a "burnt child dreads the fire," and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread: so your affections, once interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and distrust all mankind. no! you cannot be too choice of your love--that pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness. [illustration: after the engagement.] * * * * * love-spats. could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth. --shakespeare. "heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."--congreve. "thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation; then why not love-spats promote love, as they certainly often do?" "they are almost universal, and in the nature of our differences cannot be helped. the more two love, the more they are aggrieved by each other's faults; of which these spats are but the correction." "love-spats instead of being universal, they are consequent on imperfect love, and only aggravate, never correct errors. sexual storms never improve, whereas love obviates faults by praising the opposite virtues. every view of them, practical and philosophical, condemns them as being to love what poison is to health, both before and after marriage. they are nothing but married discords. every law of mind and love condemns them. shun them as you would deadly vipers, and prevent them by forestallment."--o.s. fowler. . the true facts.--notwithstanding some of the above quotations, to the contrary, trouble and disagreement between lovers embitters both love and life. contention is always dangerous, and will beget alienation if not final separation. . confirmed affections.--where affections are once thoroughly confirmed, each one should be very careful in taking offense, and avoid all disagreements as far as possible, but if disagreements continually develop with more or less friction and irritation, it is better for the crisis to come and a final separation take place. for peace is better than disunited love. . hate-spats.--hate-spats, though experienced by most lovers, yet, few realize how fatal they are to subsequent affections. love-spats develop into hate-spats, and their effects upon the affections are blighting and should not under any circumstances be tolerated. either agree, or agree to disagree. if there cannot be harmony before the ties of marriage are assumed, then there cannot be harmony after. married life will be continually marred by a series of "hate-spats" that sooner or later will destroy all happiness, unless the couple are reasonably well mated. [illustration: home loving hearts are happiest.] . more fatal the oftener they occur.--as o.s. fowler says: "'the poison of asps is under their lips.' the first spat is like a deep gash cut into a beautiful face, rendering it ghastly, and leaving a fearful scar, which neither time nor cosmetics can ever efface; including that pain so fatal to love, and blotting that sacred love-page with memory's most hideous and imperishable visages. cannot many now unhappy remember them as the beginning of that alienation which embittered your subsequent affectional cup, spoiled your lives? with what inherent repulsion do you look back upon them? their memory is horrid, and effect on love most destructive." . fatal conditions.--what are all lovers' "spats" but disappointment in its very worst form? they necessarily and always produce all its terrible consequences. the finer feelings and sensibilities will soon become destroyed and nothing but hatred will remain. . extreme sorrow.--after a serious "spat" there generally follows a period of tender sorrow, and a feeling of humiliation and submission. mutual promises are consequently made that such a condition of things shall never happen again, etc. but be sure and remember, that every subsequent difficulty will require stronger efforts to repair the breach. let it be understood that these compromises are dangerous, and every new difficulty increases their fatality. even the strongest will endure but few, nor survive many. . distrust and want of confidence.--most difficulties arise from distrust or lack of confidence or common-sense. when two lovers eye each other like two curs, each watching, lest the other should gain some new advantage, then this shows a lack of common-sense, and the young couple should get sensible or separate. . jealousy.--when one of the lovers, once so tender, now all at once so cold and hardened; once so coy and familiar now suddenly so reserved, distant, hard and austere, is always a sure case of jealousy. a jealous person is first talkative, very affectionate, and then all at once changes and becomes cold, reserved and repulsive, apparently without cause. if a person is jealous before marriage, this characteristic will be increased rather than diminished by marriage. . confession.--if you make up by confession, the confessor feels mean and disgraced; or if both confess and forgive, both feel humbled; since forgiveness implies inferiority and pity; from which whatever is manly and womanly shrinks. still even this is better than continued "spats." . prevention.--if you can get along well in your courtship you will invariably make a happy couple if you should unite your destinies in marriage. learn not to give nor take offence. you must remember that all humanity is imperfect at best. we all have our faults, and must keep them in subordination. those who truly love each other will have but few difficulties in their courtship or in married life. . remedies.--establishing a perfect love in the beginning constitutes a preventive. fear that they are not truly loved usually paves the way for "spats." let all who make any pretension guard against all beginnings of this reversal, and strangle these "hate-spats" the moment they arise. "let not the sun go down upon thy wrath," not even an hour, but let the next sentence after they begin quench them forever. and let those who cannot court without "spats," stop; for those who spat before marriage must quarrel after. [illustration: "let not the sun go down upon thy wrath".] [illustration: alone and forsaken.] * * * * * a broken heart. . wounded love.--'tis true that love wields a magic, sovereign, absolute, and tyrannical power over both the body and the mind when it is given control. it often, in case of dissapointment, works havoc and deals death blows to its victims, and leaves many in that morbid mental condition which no life-tonics simply can restore. wounded love may be the result of hasty and indiscreet conduct of young people; or the outgrowth of lust, or the result of domestic infidelity and discord. . fatal effects.--our cemeteries receive within the cold shadows of the grave thousands and thousands of victims that annually die from the results of "broken hearts." it is no doubt a fact that love troubles cause more disorders of the heart than everything else combined. . disrupted love.--it has long been known that dogs, birds, and even horses, when separated from their companions or friends, have pined away and died; so it is not strange that man with his higher intuitive ideas of affection should suffer from love when suddenly disrupted. . crucifying love.--painful love feelings strike right to the heart, and the breaking up of love that cannot be consummated in marriage is sometimes allowed to crucify the affections. there is no doubt that the suffering from disappointed love is often deeper and more intense than meeting death itself. . healing.--the paralyzing and agonizing consequences of ruptured love can only be remedied by diversion and society. bring the mind into a state of patriotic independence with a full determination to blot out the past. those who cannot bring into subordination the pangs of disappointment in love are not strong characters, and invariably will suffer disappointments in almost every department of life. disappointment in love means rising above it, and conquering it, or demoralization, mental, physical and sexual. . love runs mad.--love comes unbidden. a blind ungovernable impulse seems to hold sway in the passions of the affections. love is blind and seems to completely subdue and conquer. it often comes like a clap of thunder from a clear sky, and when it falls it falls flat, leaving only the ruins of a tornado behind. . bad, dismal, and blue feelings.--despondency breathes disease, and those who yield to it can neither work, eat nor sleep; they only suffer. the spell-bound, fascinated, magnetized affections seem to deaden self-control and no doubt many suffering from love-sickness are totally helpless; they are beside themselves, irritational and wild. men and women of genius, influence and education, all seem to suffer alike, but they do not yield alike to the subduing influence; some pine away and die; others rise above it, and are the stronger and better for having been afflicted. . rise above it.--cheer up! if you cannot think pleasurably over your misfortune, forget it. you must do this or perish. your power and influence is too much to blight by foolish and melancholic pining. your own sense, your self-respect, your self-love, your love for others, command you not to spoil yourself by crying over "spilt milk." . retrieve your past loss.--do sun, moon, and stars indeed rise and set in your loved one? are there not "as good fish in the sea as ever were caught?" and can you not catch them? are there not other hearts on earth just as loving and lovely, and in every way as congenial; if circumstances had first turned you upon another, you would have felt about that one as now about this. love depends far less on the party loved than on the loving one. or is this the way either to retrieve your past loss, or provide for the future? is it not both unwise and self-destructive; and in every way calculated to render your case, present and prospective, still more hopeless? . find something to do.--idle hands are satan's workshop. employ your mind; find something to do; something in which you can find self-improvement; something that will fit you better to be admired by someone else, read, and improve your mind; get into society, throw your whole soul into some new enterprise, and you will conquer with glory and come out of the fire purified and made more worthy. . love again.--as love was the cause of your suffering, so love again will restore you, and you will love better and more consistently. do not allow yourself to become soured and detest and shun association. rebuild your dilapidated sexuality by cultivating a general appreciation of the excellence, especially of the mental and moral qualities of the opposite sex. conquer your prejudices, and vow not to allow anyone to annoy or disturb your calmness. . love for the dead.--a most affectionate woman, who continues to love her affianced though long dead, instead of becoming soured or deadened, manifests all the richness and sweetness of the fully-developed woman thoroughly in love, along with a softened, mellow, twilight sadness which touches every heart, yet throws a peculiar lustre and beauty over her manners and entire character. she must mourn, but not forever. it is not her duty to herself or to her creator. . a sure remedy.--come in contact with the other sex. you are infused with your lover's magnetism, which must remain till displaced by another's. go to parties and picnics; be free, familiar, offhand, even forward; try your knack at fascinating another, and yield to fascinations yourself. but be honest, command respect, and make yourself attractive and worthy. [illustration: a sure remedy.] * * * * * former customs and peculiarities among men. . polygamy.--there is a wide difference as regards the relations of the sexes in different parts of the world. in some parts polygamy has prevailed from time immemorial. most savage people are polygamists, and the turks, though slowly departing from the practice, still allow themselves a plurality of wives. . rule reversed.--in thibet the rule is reversed, and the females are provided with two or more husbands. it is said that in many instances a whole family of brothers have but one wife. the custom has at least one advantageous feature, viz.: the possibility of leaving an unprotected widow and a number of fatherless children is entirely obviated. . the morganatic marriage is a modification of polygamy. it sometimes occurs among the royalty of europe, and is regarded as perfectly legitimate, but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal husband, and her children do not inherit his rank or fortune. the queen only is the consort of the sovereign, and entitled to share his rank. . different manners of obtaining wives.--among the uncivilized almost any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength. the same is true in obtaining a wife. the strong take precedence of the weak. it is said that among the north american indians it was the custom for men to wrestle for the choice of women. a weak man could seldom retain a wife that a strong man coveted. the law of contest was not confined to individuals alone. women were frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each other in battle. the effort to excel in physical power was a great incentive to bodily development, and since the best of the men were preferred by the most superior women, the custom was a good one in this, that the race was improved. . the aboriginal australian employed low cunning and heartless cruelty in obtaining his wife. laying in ambush, with club in hand, he would watch for the coveted woman, and, unawares, spring upon her. if simply disabled he carried her off as his possession, but if the blow had been hard enough to kill, he abandoned her to watch for another victim. there is here no effort to attract or please, no contest of strength; his courtship, if courtship it can be called, would compare very unfavorably with any among the brute creation. . the kalmuck tartar races for his bride on horseback, she having a certain start previously agreed upon. the nuptial knot consists in catching her, but we are told that the result of the race all depends upon whether the girl wants to be caught or not. . hawaiian islanders.--marriage among the early natives of these islands was merely a matter of mutual inclination. there was no ceremony at all, the men and women united and separated as they felt disposed. . the feudal lord, in various parts of europe, when any of his dependents or followers married, exercised the right of assuming the bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night. seldom was there any escape from this abominable practice. sometimes the husband, if wealthy, succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign from exercising his privilege. . the spartans had the custom of encouraging intercourse between their best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny, without any reference to a marriage ceremony. records show that the ancient roman husband has been known to invite a friend, in whom he may have admired some physical or mental trait, to share the favors of his wife; that the peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in the offspring. [illustration] [illustration: proposing.] [illustration] hasty marriage seldom proveth well.--_shakespeare, henry vi._ the reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.--_swift, thoughts on various subjects._ * * * * * sensible hints in choosing a partner. . there are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in courtship. natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern to eternal right; therefore love naturally, not artificially. don't love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money. . court scientifically.--if you court at all, court scientifically. bungle whatever else you will, but do no bungle courtship. a failure in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may mean ruin, or a life often worse than death. the world is full of wretched and mismated people. begin right and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong. when you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same as you would study any other business proposition. . divorces.--there is not a divorce on our court records that is not the result of some fundamental error in courtship. the purity or the power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the dark for a companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a crime against god and society. in this enlightened age there should be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable partner. sufficient time should be taken to study each other's character and disposition. association will soon reveal adaptability. . false love.--many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in his nature. it is all a momentary passion a sort of puppy love; his vows and pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become indifferent and cold to his wife and children, and he will go through life without ambition, encouragement or success. he will be a failure. true love speaks for itself, and the casual observer can read its proclamations. true love does not speak in a whisper, it always makes itself heard. the follies of flirting develops into many unhappy marriages, and blight many a life. man happily married has superior advantages both social and financially. . flirting just for fun.--who is the flirt, what is his reputation, motive, or character? every young man and woman must have a reputation; if it is not good it is bad, there is no middle ground. young people who are running in the streets after dark, boisterous and noisy in their conversation, gossiping and giggling, flirting with first one and then another, will soon settle their matrimonial prospects among good society. modesty is a priceless jewel. no sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt. . the arch-deceiver.--they who win the affection simply for their own amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate punishment. how can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? remember that god is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely die." you may dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and visit gambling hells, but "thou art the man" will ever stare you in the face. her pale, sad cheeks, her hollow eyes will never cease to haunt you. men should promote happiness, and not cause misery. let the savage indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot, but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding women. torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity. young men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils, not men. . the rule to follow.--do not continually pay your attentions to the same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. occasionally escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly proper; but to give her your special attention, and extend invitations to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend, is an implied promise that you prefer her company above all others, and she has a right to believe that your attentions are serious. [illustration: the wedding ring.] . every girl should seal her heart against all manifested affections, unless they are accompanied by a proposal. woman's love is her all, and her heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy of her confidence. young woman, never bestow your affections until by some word or deed at least you are fully justified in recognizing sincerity and faith in him who is paying you special attention. better not be engaged until twenty-two. you are then more competent to judge the honesty and falsity of man. nature has thrown a wall of maidenly modesty around you. preserve that and not let your affections be trifled with while too young by any youthful flirt who is in search of hearts to conquer. . female flirtation.--the young man who loves a young woman has paid her the highest compliment in the possession of man. perpetrate almost any sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of disappointment. it is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt that never can be paid. . loyalty.--young persons with serious intentions, or those who are engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other. if they seek freedom with others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is often turned to hatred, and the severest anger of the soul is aroused. loyalty, faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be cherished in courtship. don't be a flirt. . kissing, fondling, and caressing between lovers.--this should never be tolerated under any circumstances, unless there is an engagement to justify it, and then only in a sensible and limited way. the girl who allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or putting his arms around her waist before engagement will at once fall in the estimation of the man she has thus gratified and desired to please. privileges always injure, but never benefit. . improper liberties during courtship kill love.--any improper liberties which are permitted by young ladies, whether engaged or not, will change love into sensuality, and her affections will become obnoxious, if not repellent. men by nature love virtue, and for a life companion naturally shun an amorous woman. young folks, as you love moral purity and virtue, never reciprocate love until you have required the right of betrothal. remember that those who are thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other. the purity of woman is doubly attractive, and sensuality in her becomes doubly offensive and repellent. it is contrary to the laws of nature for a man to love a harlot. . a seducer.--the punishment of the seducer is best given by o.s. fowler, in his "creative science." the sin and punishment rest on all you who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin's affections, and then discard her. you deserve to be horsewhipped by her father, cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother, cursed by herself, and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon. . caution.--a young lady should never encourage the attentions of a young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. if a young man is indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as soon as the honey moon is over. there are few if any exceptions to this rule. the brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's home will make a very poor husband. . the old rule: "never marry a man that does not make his mother a christmas present every christmas," is a good one. the young lady makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his mother and respects his sisters and brothers. [illustration] [illustration: a chinese bride and groom.] * * * * * safe hints. . marry in your own position in life. if there is any difference in social position, it is better that the husband should be the superior. a woman does not like to look down upon her husband, and to be obliged to do so is a poor guarantee for their happiness. . it is best to marry persons of your own faith and religious convictions, unless one is willing to adopt those of the other. difference of faith is apt to divide families, and to produce great trouble in after life. a pious woman should beware of marrying an irreligious man. . don't be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman. good health, cheerful disposition, stout hearts and industrious hands will bring happiness and comfort. . bright red hair should marry jet black, and jet black auburn or bright red, etc. and the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a man, the more dark, calm, cool and quiet should his wife be; and vice versa. the florid should not marry the florid, but those who are dark, in proportion as they themselves are light. . red-whiskered men should marry brunettes, but no blondes; the color of the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of the hair. . the color of the eyes is still more important. gray eyes must marry some other color, almost any other except gray; and so of blue, dark, hazel, etc. . those very fleshy should not marry those equally so, but those too spare and slim; and this is doubly true of females. a spare man is much better adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man. two who are short, thick-set and stocky, should not unite in marriage, but should choose those differently constituted; but on no account one of their own make. and, in general, those predisposed to corpulence are therefore less inclined to marriage. . those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is naturally abundant; still those who once had plenty, but who have lost it, may marry those who are either bald or have but little; for in this, as in all other cases, all depends on what one is by nature, little on present states. . those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates, who are bony, only moderately fleshy, quite prominent-featured, roman-nosed and muscular, should not marry those similarly formed. . small, nervous men must not marry little, nervous or sanguine women, lest both they and their children have quite too much of the hot-headed and impulsive, and die suddenly. . two very beautiful persons rarely do or should marry; nor two extra homely. the fact is a little singular that very handsome women, who of course can have their pick, rarely marry good-looking men, but generally give preference to those who are homely; because that exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends with that power which accompanies huge noses and disproportionate features. [illustration: light. life. health and beauty.] . rapid movers, speakers, laughers, etc., should marry those who are calm and deliberate, and impulsives those who are stoical; while those who are medium may marry those who are either or neither, as they prefer. . noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and temperaments. accordingly, those noses especially marked either way should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics. roman noses are adapted to those which turn up, and pug noses to those turning down; while straight noses may marry either. . men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry imperious, women's-rights woman; while those who willingly "obey orders" need just such. some men require a wife who shall take their part; yet all who do not need strong-willed women, should be careful how they marry them. . a sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious, unintelligent man; because she cannot long endure to see and help him blindly follow his poor, but spurn her good, plans. . the reserved or secretive should marry the frank. a cunning man cannot endure the least artifice in a wife. those who are non-committal must marry those who are demonstrative; else, however much they may love, neither will feel sure as to the other's affections, and each will distrust the other, while their children will be deceitful. . a timid woman should never marry a hesitating man, lest, like frightened children, each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by imaginary fears. . an industrious, thrifty, hard-working man should marry a woman tolerably saving and industrious. as the "almighty dollar" is now the great motor-wheel of humanity, and that to which most husbands devote their entire lives to delve alone is uphill work. [illustration] [illustration: fireside fancies.] * * * * * marriage securities. . seek each other's happiness.--a selfish marriage that seeks only its own happiness defeats itself. happiness is a fire that will not burn long on one stick. . do not marry suddenly.--it can always be done till it is done, if it is a proper thing to do. . marry in your own grade in society.--it is painful to be always apologizing for any one. it is more painful to be apologized for. . do not marry downward.--it is hard enough to advance in the quality of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own. it will be sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level without having to correct a bias in their blood. . do not sell yourself.--it matters not whether the price be money or position. . do not throw yourself away.--you will not receive too much, even if you are paid full price. . seek the advice of your parents.--your parents are your best friends. they will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals. they are elevated above selfishness concerning you. if they differ from you concerning your choice, it is because they must. . do not marry to please any third party.--you must do the living and enduring. . do not marry to spite anybody.--it would add wretchedness to folly. . do not marry because someone else may seek the same hand.--one glove may not fit all hands equally well. . do not marry to get rid of anybody.--the coward who shot himself to escape from being drafted was insane. . do not marry merely for the impulse of love.--love is a principle as well as an emotion. so far as it is a sentiment it is a blind guide. it does not wait to test the presence of exalted character in its object before breaking out into a flame. shavings make a hot fire, but hard coal is better for the winter. . do not marry without love.--a body without a soul soon becomes offensive. . test carefully the effect of protracted association.--if familiarity breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward. . test carefully the effect of protracted separation.--true love will defy both time and space. . consider carefully the right of your children under the laws of heredity. it is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the number of invalids and cripples. . do not marry simply because you have promised to do so.--if a seam opens between you now it will widen into a gulf. it is less offensive to retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the altar. your intended spouse has a right to absolute integrity. [illustration: going to be married.] . marry character.--it is not so much what one has as what one is. . do not marry the wrong object.--themistocles said he would rather marry his daughter to a man without money than to money with a man. it is well to have both. it is fatal to have neither. . demand a just return.--you give virtue and purity, and gentleness and integrity. you have a right to demand the same in return. duty requires it. . require brains.--culture is good, but will not be transmitted. brain power may be. . study past relationship.--the good daughter and sister makes a good wife. the good son and brother makes a good husband. . never marry as a missionary deed.--if one needs saving from bad habits he is not suitable for you. . marriage is a sure and specific remedy for all the ills known as seminal losses. as right eating cures a sick stomach and right breathing diseased lungs, so the right use of the sexual organs will bring relief and restoration. many men who have been sufferers from indiscretions of youth, have married, and were soon cured of spermatorrhoea and other complications which accompanied it. . a good, long courtship will often cure many difficulties or ills of the sexual organs. o.s. fowler says: "see each other often spend many pleasant hours together," have many walks and talks, think of each other while absent, write many love letters, be inspired to many love feelings and acts towards each other, and exercise your sexuality in a thousand forms ten thousand times, every one of which tones up and thereby recuperates this very element now dilapidated. when you have courted long enough to marry, you will be sufficiently restored to be reimproved by it. up and at it.--dress up, spruce up, and be on the alert. don't wait too long to get one much more perfect than you are; but settle on some one soon. remember that your unsexed state renders you over-dainty, and easily disgusted. so contemplate only their lovable qualities. . purity of purpose.--court with a pure and loyal purpose, and when thoroughly convinced that the disposition of other difficulties are in the way of a happy marriage life, then _honorably_ discuss it and honorably treat each other in the settlement. . do not trifle with the feelings or affections of each other. it is a sin that will curse you all the days of your life. * * * * * women who make the best wives. . conscious of the duties of her sex.--a woman conscious of the duties of her sex, one who unflinchingly discharges the duties allotted to her by nature, would no doubt make a good wife. . good wives and mothers.--the good wives and mothers are the women who believe in the sisterhood of women as well as in the brotherhood of men. the highest exponent of this type seeks to make her home something more than an abode where children are fed, clothed and taught the catechism. the state has taken her children into politics by making their education a function of politicians. the good wife and homemaker says to her children, "where thou goest, i will go." she puts off her own inclinations to ease and selfishness. she studies the men who propose to educate her children; she exhorts mothers to sit beside fathers on the school-board; she will even herself accept such thankless office in the interests of the helpless youth of the schools who need a mother's as well as a father's and a teacher's care in this field of politics. . a busy woman.--as to whether a busy woman, that is, a woman who labors for mankind in the world outside her home,--whether such an one can also be a good housekeeper, and care for her children, and make a real "home, sweet home!" with all the comforts by way of variation, why! i am ready, as the result of years practical experience as a busy woman, to assert that women of affairs can also be women of true domestic tastes and habits. . brainy enough.--what kind of women make the best wives? the woman who is brainy enough to be a companion, wise enough to be a counsellor, skilled enough in the domestic virtues to be a good housekeeper, and loving enough to guide in true paths the children with whom the home may be blessed. . found the right husband.--the best wife is the woman who has found the right husband, a husband who understands her. a man will have the best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women. of all women she should always be to him the dearest. this sort of man will not only praise the dishes made by his wife, but will actually eat them. . bank account.--he will allow his life-companion a bank account, and will exact no itemized bill at the end of the month. above all, he will pay the easter bonnet bill without a word, never bring a friend to dinner without first telephoning home,--short, he will comprehend that the woman who makes the best wife is the woman whom, by his indulgence of her ways and whims, he makes the best wife. so after all, good husbands have the most to do with making good wives. [illustration: punishment of wife beaters in new england in the early days.] . best home maker.--a woman to be the best home maker needs to be devoid of intensive "nerves." she must be neat and systematic, but not too neat, lest she destroy the comfort she endeavors to create. she must be distinctly amiable, while firm. she should have no "career," or desire for a career, if she would fill to perfection the home sphere. she must be affectionate, sympathetic and patient, and fully appreciative of the worth and dignity of her sphere. . know nothing whatsoever about cooking or sewing or housekeeping.--i am inclined to make my answer to this question somewhat concise, after the manner of a text without the sermon. like this: to be the "best wife" depends upon three things: first, an abiding faith with god; second, duty lovingly discharged as daughter, wife and mother; third, self-improvement, mentally, physically, spiritually. with this as a text and as a glittering generality, let me touch upon one or two practical essentials. in the course of every week it is my privilege to meet hundreds of young women,--prospective wives. i am astonished to find that many of these know nothing whatsoever about cooking or sewing or housekeeping. now, if a woman cannot broil a beefsteak, nor boil the coffee when it is necessary, if she cannot mend the linen, nor patch a coat, if she cannot make a bed, order the dinner, create a lamp-shade, ventilate the house, nor do anything practical in the way of making home actually a home, how can she expect to make even a good wife, not to speak of a better or best wife? i need not continue this sermon. wise girls will understand. . the best keeper of home.--as to who is the best keeper of this transition home, memory pictures to me a woman grown white under the old slavery, still bound by it, in that little-out-of-the-way kansas town, but never so bound that she could not put aside household tasks, at any time, for social intercourse, for religious conversation, for correspondence, for reading, and, above all, for making everyone who came near her feel that her home was the expression of herself, a place for rest, study, and the cultivation of affection. she did not exist for her walls, her carpets, her furniture; they existed for her and all who came to her she considered herself the equal of all; and everyone else thought her the superior of all. * * * * * adaptation, conjugal affection, and fatal errors. advice to the married and unmarried. . marrying for wealth.--those who marry for wealth often get what they marry and nothing else; for rich girls besides being generally destitute of both industry and economy, are generally extravagant in their expenditures, and require servants enough to dissipate a fortune. they generally have insatiable wants, yet feel that they deserve to be indulged in everything, because they placed their husbands under obligation to them by bringing them a dowry. and then the mere idea of living on the money of a wife, and of being supported by her, is enough to tantalize any man of an independent spirit. . self-support.--what spirited husband would not prefer to support both himself and wife, rather than submit to this perpetual bondage of obligation. to live upon a father, or take a patrimony from him, is quite bad enough; but to run in debt to a wife, and owe her a living, is a little too aggravating for endurance, especially if there be not perfect cordiality between the two, which cannot be the case in money matches. better live wifeless, or anything else, rather than marry for money. . money-seekers.--shame on sordid wife-seekers, or, rather, money-seekers; for it is not a wife that they seek, but only filthy lucre! they violate all their other faculties simply to gratify miserly desire. verily such "have their reward"! . the penitent hour.--and to you, young ladies, let me say with great emphasis, that those who court and marry you because you are rich, will make you rue the day of your pecuniary espousals. they care not for you, but only your money, and when they get that, will be liable to neglect or abuse you, and probably squander it, leaving you destitute and abandoning you to your fate. . industry the sign of nobility.--marry a working, industrious young lady, whose constitution is strong, flesh solid, and health unimpaired by confinement, bad habits, or late hours. give me a plain, home-spun farmer's daughter, and you may have all the rich and fashionable belles of our cities and villages. . wasp waists.--marrying small waists is attended with consequences scarcely less disastrous than marrying rich and fashionable girls. an amply developed chest is a sure indication of a naturally vigorous constitution and a strong hold on life; while small waists indicate small and feeble vital organs, a delicate constitution, sickly offspring, and a short life. beware of them, therefore, unless you wish your heart broken by the early death of your wife and children. [illustration: until death us do part.] . marrying talkers.--in marrying a wit or a talker merely, though the brilliant scintillations of the former, or the garrulity of the latter, may amuse or delight you for the time being, yet you will derive no permanent satisfaction from these qualities, for there will be no common bond of kindred feeling to assimilate your souls and hold each spell-bound at the shrine of the other's intellectual or moral excellence. . the second wife.--many men, especially in choosing a second wife, are governed by her own qualifications as a housekeeper mainly, and marry industry and economy. though these traits of character are excellent, yet a good housekeeper may be far from being a good wife. a good housekeeper, but a poor wife, may indeed prepare you a good dinner, and keep her house and children neat and tidy, yet this is but a part of the office of a wife; who, besides all her household duties, has those of a far higher order to perform. she should soothe you with her sympathies, divert your troubled mind, and make the whole family happy by the gentleness of her manners, and the native goodness of her heart. a husband should also likewise do his part. . do not marry a man with a low, flat head; for, however fascinating, genteel, polite, tender, plausible or winning he may be, you will repent the day of your espousal. . healthy wires and mothers.--let girls romp, and let them range hill and dale in search of flowers, berries, or any other object of amusement or attraction; let them bathe often, skip the rope, and take a smart ride on horseback; often interspersing these amusements with a turn of sweeping or washing, in order thereby to develop their vital organs, and thus lay a substantial physical foundation for becoming good wives and mothers. the wildest romps usually make the best wives, while quiet, still, demure, sedate and sedentary girls are not worth having. . small stature.--in passing, i will just remark, that good size is important in wives and mothers. a small stature is objectionable in a woman, because little women usually have too much activity for their strength, and, consequently, feeble constitutions; hence they die young, and besides, being nervous, suffer extremely as mothers. . hard times and matrimony.--many persons, particularly young men, refuse to marry, especially "these hard time," because they cannot support a wife in the style they wish. to this i reply, that a good wife will care less for the style in which she is supported, than for you. she will cheerfully conform to your necessities, and be happy with you in a log-cabin. she will even help you support yourself. to support a good wife, even if she have children, is really less expensive than to board alone, besides being one of the surest means of acquiring property. . marrying for a home.--do not, however, marry for a home merely, unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without one; for, it is on the same footing with "marrying for money." marry a man for his merit; and you take no chances. . marry to please no one but yourself.--marriage is a matter exclusively your own; because you alone must abide its consequences. no person, not even a parent, has the least right to interfere or dictate in this matter. i never knew a marriage, made to please another, to turn out any otherwise than most unhappily. . do not marry to please your parents. parents can not love for their children any more than they can eat or sleep, or breathe, or die and go to heaven for them. they may give wholesome advice merely, but should leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the parties themselves, who mainly are to experience the consequences of their choice. besides, such is human nature, that to oppose lovers, or to speak against the person beloved, only increases their desire and determination to marry. . run-away matches.--many a run-away match would never have taken place but for opposition or interference. parents are mostly to be blamed for these elopements. their children marry partly out of sprite and to be contrary. their very natures tell them that this interference is unjust--as it really is--and this excites combativeness, firmness, and self-esteem, in combination with the social faculties, to powerful and even blind resistance--which turmoil of the faculties hastens the match. let the affections of a daughter be once slightly enlisted in your favor, and then let the "old folks" start an opposition, and you may feel sure of your prize. if she did not love you before, she will now, that you are persecuted. . disinheritance.--never disinherit, or threaten to disinherit, a child for marrying against your will. if you wish a daughter not to marry a certain man, oppose her, and she will be sure to marry him; so also in reference to a son. . proper training.--the secret is, however, all in a nutshell. let the father properly train his daughter, and she will bring her first love-letter to him, and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable affection, and to nip an improper one in the germ, before it has time to do any harm. . the fatal mistakes of parents.--_there is, however one way of effectually preventing an improper match, and that is, not to allow your children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should marry. how cruel as well at unjust to allow a daughter to associate with a young man till the affections of both are riveted, and then forbid her marrying him. forbid all association, or consent cheerfully to the marriage._ . an intemperate lover.--do not flatter yourselves young women, that you can wean even an occasional wine drinker from his cups by love and persuasion. ardent spirit at first, kindles up the fires of love into the fierce flames of burning licentiousness, which burn out every element of love and destroy every vestige of pure affection. it over-excites the passions, and thereby finally destroys it,--producing at first, unbridled libertinism, and then an utter barrenness of love; besides reversing the other faculties of the drinker against his own consort, and those of the wife against her drinking husband. * * * * * first love, desertion and divorce. . first love.--this is the most important direction of all. the first love experiences a tenderness, a purity and unreservedness, an exquisiteness, a devotedness, and a poetry belonging to no subsequent attachment. "love, like life, has no second spring." though a second attachment may be accompanied by high moral feeling, and to a devotedness to the object loved; yet, let love be checked or blighted in its first pure emotion, and the beauty of its spring is irrecoverably withered and lost. this does not mean the simple love of children in the first attachment they call love, but rather the mature intelligent love of those of suitable age. [illustration: musical culture lesson.] . free from temptations.--as long as his heart is bound up in its first bundle of love and devotedness--as long as his affections remain reciprocated and uninterrupted--so long temptations cannot take effect. this heart is callous to the charms of others, and the very idea of bestowing his affections upon another is abhorrent. much more so is animal indulgence, which is morally impossible. . second love not constant.--but let this first love be broken off, and the flood-gates of passion are raised. temptations now flow in upon him. he casts a lustful eye upon every passing female, and indulges unchaste imaginations and feelings. although his conscientiousness or intellect may prevent actual indulgence, yet temptations now take effect, and render him liable to err; whereas before they had no power to awaken improper thoughts or feelings. thus many young men find their ruin. . legal marriage.--what would any woman give for merely a nominal or legal husband, just to live with and provide for her, but who entertained not one spark of love for her, or whose affections were bestowed upon another? how absurd, how preposterous the doctrine that the obligations of marriage derive their sacredness from legal enactments and injunctions! how it literally profanes this holy of holies, and drags down this heaven-born institution from its original, divine elevation, to the level of a merely human device. who will dare to advocate the human institution of marriage without the warm heart of a devoted and loving companion! . legislation.--but no human legislation can so guard this institution but that it may be broken in spirit, though, perhaps, acceded to in form; for, it is the heart which this institution requires. there must be true and devoted affection, or marriage is a farce and a failure. . the marriage ceremony and the law governing marriage are for the protection of the individual, yet a man and woman may be married by law and yet unmarried in spirit. the law may tie together, and no marriage be consummated. marriage therefore is divine, and "whom god hath joined together let no man put asunder." a right marriage means a right state of the heart. a careful study of this work will be a great help to both the unmarried and the married. . desertion and divorce.--for a young man to court a young woman, and excite her love till her affections are riveted, and then (from sinister motives, such as, to marry one richer, or more handsome), to leave her, and try elsewhere, is the very same crime as to divorce her from all that she holds dear on earth--to root up and pull out her imbedded affections, and to tear her from her rightful husband. first love is always constant. the second love brings uncertainty--too often desertions before marriage and divorces after marriage. . the coquet.--the young woman to play the coquet, and sport with the sincere affections of an honest and devoted young man, is one of the highest crimes that human nature can commit. better murder him in body too, as she does in soul and morals, and it is the result of previous disappointment, never the outcome of a sincere first love. . one marriage. one evidence that second marriages are contrary to the laws of our social nature, is the fact that almost all step-parents and step-children disagree. now, what law has been broken, to induce this penalty? the law of marriage; and this is one of the ways in which the breach punishes itself. it is much more in accordance with our natural feelings, especially those of mothers, that children should be brought up by their own parent. . second marriage.--another proof of this point is, that second marriage is more a matter of business. "i'll give you a home, if you'll take care of my children." "it's a bargain," is the way most second matches are made. there is little of the poetry of first-love, and little of the coyness and shrinking diffidence which characterize the first attachment. still these remarks apply almost equally to a second attachment, as to second marriage. . the conclusion of the whole matter.--let this portion be read and pondered, and also the one entitled, "marry your first love if possible," which assigns the cause, and points out the only remedy, of licentiousness. as long as the main cause of this vice exists, and is aggravated by purse-proud, high-born, aristocratic parents and friends, and even by the virtuous and religious, just so long, and exactly in the same ratio will this blighting sirocco blast the fairest flowers of female innocence and lovliness, and blight our noblest specimens of manliness. no sin of our land is greater. [illustration] [illustration: a classic frieze.] [illustration: how many young girls are ruined.] * * * * * flirting and its dangers. . no excuse.--in this country there is no excuse for the young man who seeks the society of the loose and the dissolute. there is at all times and everywhere open to him a society of persons of the opposite sex of his own age and of pure thoughts and lives, whose conversation will refine him and drive from his bosom ignoble and impure thoughts. . the dangers.--the young man who may take pleasure in the fact that he is the hero of half a dozen or more engagements and love episodes, little realizes that such constant excitement often causes not only dangerously frequent and long-continued nocturnal emissions, but most painful affections of the testicles. those who show too great familiarity with the other sex, who entertain lascivious thoughts, continually exciting the sexual desires, always suffer a weakening of power and sometimes the actual diseases of degeneration, chronic inflammation of the gland, spermatorrhoea, impotence, and the like.--young man, beware; your punishment for trifling with the affections of others may cost you a life of affliction. . remedy.--do not violate the social laws. do not trifle with the affections of your nature. do not give others countless anguish, and also do not run the chances of injuring yourself and others for life. the society of refined and pure women is one of the strongest safeguards a young man can have, and he who seeks it will not only find satisfaction, but happiness. simple friendship and kind affections for each other will ennoble and benefit. . the time for marriage.--when a young man's means permit him to marry, he should then look intelligently for her with whom he expects to pass the remainder of his life in perfect loyalty, and in sincerity and singleness of heart. seek her to whom he is ready to swear to be ever true. . breach of confidence.--nothing is more certain, says dr. naphey, to undermine domestic felicity, and sap the foundation of marital happiness, than marital infidelity. the risks of disease which a married man runs in impure intercourse are far more serious, because they not only involve himself, but his wife and his children. he should know that there is nothing which a woman will not forgive sooner than such a breach of confidence. he is exposed to the plots and is pretty certain sooner or later to fall into the snares of those atrocious parties who subsist on black-mail. and should he escape these complications, he still must lose self-respect, and carry about with him the burden of a guilty conscience and a broken vow. . society rules and customs.--a young man can enjoy the society of ladies without being a "flirt." he can escort ladies to parties, public places of interest, social gatherings, etc., without showing special devotion to any one special young lady. when he finds the choice of his heart, then he will be justified to manifest it, and publicly proclaim it by paying her the compliment, exclusive attention. to keep a lady's company six months is a public announcement of an engagement. * * * * * a word to maidens. . no young lady who is not willing to assume the responsibility of a true wife, and be crowned with the sacred diadem of motherhood, should ever think of getting married. we have too many young ladies to-day who despise maternity, who openly vow that they will never be burdened with children, and yet enter matrimony at the first opportunity. what is the result? let echo answer, what? unless a young lady believes that motherhood is noble, is honorable, is divine, and she is willing to carry out that sacred function of her nature, she had a thousand times better refuse every proposal, and enter some honorable occupation and wisely die an old maid by choice. . on the other hand, young lady, never enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until you have conversed with him freely and fully on these relations. learn distinctly his views and feelings and expectations in regard to that purest and most ennobling of all the functions of your nature, and the most sacred of all intimacies of conjugal love. your self-respect, your beauty, your glory, your heaven, as a wife, will be more directly involved in his feelings and views and practices, in regard to that relation, than in all other things. as you would not become a weak, miserable, imbecile, unlovable and degraded wife and mother, in the very prime of your life, come to a perfect understanding with your chosen one, ere you commit your person to his keeping in the sacred intimacies of home. beware of that man who, under pretence of delicacy, modesty, and propriety, shuns conversation with you on this relation, and on the hallowed function of maternity. . talk with your intended frankly and openly. remember, concealment and mystery in him, towards you, on all other subjects pertaining to conjugal union might be overlooked, but if he conceals his views here, rest assured it bodes no good to your purity and happiness as a wife and mother. you can have no more certain assurance that you are to be victimized, your soul and body offered up, _slain_ on the altar of his sensualism, than his unwillingness to converse with you on subjects so vital to your happiness. unless he is willing to hold his manhood in abeyance to the calls of your nature and to your conditions, and consecrate its passions and its powers to the elevation and happiness of his wife and children, your maiden soul had better return to god unadorned with the diadem of conjugal and maternal love than that you should become the wife of such man and the mother of his children. [illustration: roman love making.] [illustration: uniformed men are always popular.] * * * * * popping the question. . making the declaration.--there are few emergencies in business and few events in life that bring to man the trying ordeal of "proposing to a lady." we should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours of perplexity, embarrassment and hesitation, but unfortunately we cannot pop the question for him, nor give him a formula by which he may do it. different circumstances and different surroundings compel every lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing. . bashfulness.--if a young man is very bashful, he should write his sentiments in a clear, frank manner on a neat white sheet of note paper, enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to convey it to the lady's hand. . the answer.--if the beloved one's heart is touched and she is in sympathy with the lover, the answer should be frankly and unequivocally given. if the negative answer is necessary, it should be done in the kindest and most sympathetic language, yet definite, positive and to the point, and the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit and continue friendly but not familiar. . saying "no" for "yes."-if girls are foolish enough to say "no" when they mean "yes," they must suffer the consequences which often follow. a man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice. it is begging for recognition and lowers his dignity, should he do so. a lady is supposed to know her heart sufficiently to consider the question to her satisfaction before giving an answer. . confusion of words and misunderstanding.--sometimes a man's happiness, has depended on his manner of popping the question. many a time the girl has said "no" because the question was so worded that the affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally; and two lives that gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have been thrown suddenly apart, because the electric keys were not carefully touched. . scriptural declaration.--the church is not the proper place to conduct a courtship, yet the following is suggestive and ingenious. a young gentleman, familiar with the scriptures, happening to sit in a pew adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment, made his proposal in this way. he politely handed his neighbor a bible open, with a pin stuck in the following text: second epistle of john, verse : "and i beseech thee, lady, not as though i wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that we had from the beginning, that we love one another." she returned it, pointing to the second chapter of ruth, verse : "then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him. why have i found grace in thine eyes that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing i am a stranger?" [illustration: sealing the engagement. from the most celebrated painting in the german department at the world's fair.] he returned the book, pointing to the th verse of the third epistle of john: "having many things to write unto you, i would not write to you with paper and ink, but trust to come unto you and speak face to face, that your joy may be full." from the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing month in the same church. . how jenny was won. on a sunny summer morning, early as the dew was dry, up the hill i went a berrying; need i tell you--tell you why? farmer davis had a daughter. and it happened that i knew, on each sunny morning, jenny up the hill went berrying too. lonely work is picking berries, so i joined her on the hill: "jenny, dear," said i, "your basket's quite too large for one to fill." so we stayed--we two--to fill it, jenny talking--i was still.-- leading where the hill was steepest, picking berries up the hill. "this is up-hill work," said jenny; "so is life," said i; "shall we climb it each alone, or, jenny, will you come and climb with me?" redder than the blushing berries jenny's cheek a moment grew, while without delay she answered, "i will come and climb with you." [illustration: a peruvian beauty.] . a romantic way for proposing.--in peru they have a romantic way of popping the question. the suitor appears on the appointed evening, with a gaily dressed troubadour under the balcony of his beloved. the singer steps before her flower-bedecked window, and sings her beauties in the name of her lover. he compares her size to that of a pear tree, her lips to two blushing rose-buds, and her womanly form to that of a dove. with assumed harshness the lady asks her lover: who are you, and what do you want? he answers with ardent confidence: "thy love i do adore. the stars live in the harmony of love, and why should not we, too, love each other?" then the proud beauty gives herself away: she takes her flower-wreath from her hair and throws it down to her lover, promising to be his forever. [illustration: the bride.] * * * * * the wedding. . the proper time.--much has been printed in various volumes regarding the time of the year, the influence of the seasons, etc., as determining the proper time to set for the wedding day. circumstances must govern these things. to be sure, it is best to avoid extremes of heat and cold. very hot weather is debilitating, and below zero is uncomfortable. . the lady should select the day.--there is one element in the time that is of great importance, physically, especially to the lady. it is the day of the month, and it is hoped that every lady who contemplates marriage is informed upon the great facts of ovulation. by reading page she will understand that it is to her advantage to select a wedding day about fifteen or eighteen days after the close of menstruation in the month chosen, since it is not best that the first child should be conceived during the excitement or irritation of first attempts at congress; besides modest brides naturally do not wish to become large with child before the season of congratulation and visiting on their return from the "wedding tour" is over. again, it is asserted by many of the best writers on this subject, that the mental condition of either parent at the time of intercourse will be stamped upon the embryo hence it is not only best, but wise, that the first-born should not be conceived until several months after marriage, when the husband and wife have nicely settled in their new home, and become calm in their experience of each other's society. . the "bridal tour" is considered by many newly married couples as a necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy. there is, in our opinion, nothing in the custom to recommend it. after the excitement and overwork before and accompanying a wedding, the period immediately following should be one of _rest_. again, the money expended on the ceremony and a tour of the principal cities, etc., might, in most cases, be applied to a multitude of after-life comforts of far more lasting value and importance. to be sure, it is not pleasant for the bride, should she remain at home, to pass through the ordeal of criticism and vulgar comments of acquaintances and friends, and hence, to escape this, the young couple feel like getting away for a time. undoubtedly the best plan for the great majority, after this most eventful ceremony, is to enter their future home at once, and there to remain in comparative privacy until the novelty of the situation is worn off. . if the conventional tour is taken, the husband should remember that his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and sight-seeing that he can. the female organs of generation are so easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support them, that at this critical period it would be a foolish and cosily experience to drag a lady hurriedly around the country on an extensive and protracted round of sight-seeing or visiting. unless good common-sense is displayed in the manner of spending the "honey-moon," it will prove very untrue to its name. in many cases it lays the foundation for the wife's first and life-long "backache." [illustration: the gypsy bride.] * * * * * advice to newly married couples. . "be ye fruitful and multiply" is a bible commandment which the children of men habitually obey. however they may disagree on other subjects, all are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the high, the low, the fierce, the gentle--all unite in the desire which finds its accomplishment in the reproduction of their kind. who shall quarrel with the divinely implanted instinct, or declare it to be vulgar or unmentionable? it is during the period of the honeymoon that the intensity of this desire, coupled with the greatest curiosity, is at its height, and the unbridled license often given the passions at this time is attended with the most dangerous consequences. . consummation of marriage.--the first time that the husband and wife cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the consummation of marriage. many grave errors have been committed by people in this, when one or both of the contracting parties were not physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage relation. a marriage, however, is complete without this in the eyes of the law, as it is a maxim taken from the roman civil statutes that consent, not cohabitation, is the binding element in the ceremony. yet, in most states of the u.s., and in some other countries, marriage is legally declared void and of no effect where it is not possible to consummate the marriage relation. a divorce may be obtained provided the injured party begins the suit. . test of virginity.--the consummation of marriage with a virgin is not necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity. the true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable familiarity. a sincere christian faith is one of the best recommendations. . let every man remember that the legal right of marriage does not carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion he has chosen. ignorance may be the cause, but every man before he marries should know something of the physiology and the laws of health, and we here give some information which is of very great importance to every newly-married man. . sensuality.--lust crucifies love. the young sensual husband is generally at fault. passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is not thought of, and so a modest young wife is often actually forced and assaulted by the unsympathetic haste of her husband. an amorous man in that way soon destroys his own love, and thus is laid the foundation for many difficulties that soon develop trouble and disturb the happiness of both. . abuse after marriage.--usually marriage is consummated within a day or two after the ceremony, but this is gross injustice to the bride. in most cases she is nervous, timid, and exhausted by the duties of preparation for the wedding, and in no way in a condition, either in body or mind, for the vital change which the married relation bring upon her. many a young husband often lays the foundation of many diseases of the womb and of the nervous system in gratifying his unchecked passions without a proper regard for his wife's exhausted condition. . the first conjugal approaches are usually painful to the new wife, and no enjoyment to her follows. great caution and kindness should be exercised. a young couple rushing together in their animal passion soon produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings apathy, indifference, if not dislike. true love and a high regard for each other will temper passion into moderation. . were the above injunctions heeded fully and literally it would be folly to say more, but this would be omitting all account of the bridegroom's new position, the power of his passion, and the timidity of the fair creature who is wondering what fate has in store for her trembling modesty. to be sure, there are some women who are possessed of more forward natures and stronger desires than others. in such cases there may be less trouble. . a common error.--the young husband may have read in some treatise on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be overcome. he is apt to conclude that this is all, that some force will be needed to break it down, and that therefore an amount of urgency even to the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable. this is usually wrong. it rarely constitutes any obstruction and, even when its rupturing may be necessary, it alone seldom causes suffering. there are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina, but no woman should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted. we quote from dr. c.a. huff the following: . "what is it, then, that usually causes distress to many women, whether a bride or a long-time wife?" the answer is, simply those conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared, by anticipation and desire, to receive a foreign body. the modest one craves only refined and platonic love at first, and if husbands, new and old, would only realize this plain truth, wife-torturing would cease and the happiness of each one of all human pairs vastly increase. . the conditions of the female organs depend upon the state of the mind just as much as in the case of the husband. the male, however, being more sensual, is more quickly roused. she is far less often or early ready. in its unexcited state the vagina is lax, its walls are closed together, and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating secretion. the chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and roughly invaded. this, then, is the time for all approaches by the husband to be of the most delicate, considerate, and refined description possible. the quietest and softest demeanor, with gentle and re-assuring words, are all that should be attempted at first. the wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and it is foolish to go farther. . for more than one night it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. how long should this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of any case. the bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with full deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality is not exhibited. her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is of a refined character; if the love and conduct offered to her are a careful effort to adapt roughness and strength to her refinement and weakness, her admiration and responsive love will be excited to the utmost. . when that moment arrives when the bride finds she can repose perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is not purely animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power of her affection for him will surely assert itself; the mind will act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of her being, the walls of the vagina will expand, and the glands at the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucous which renders congress a matter of comparative ease. . when this responsive enlargement and lubrication are fully realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first and subsequent coition, is, as it has been justly called, nothing but "legalized rape." young husband, prove your manhood, not by yielding to unbridled lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in _self-control_ and patience with the helpless being confided to your care. prolong the delightful season of courting into and _through_ wedded life and rich shall be your reward. . a want of desire may often prevail, and may be caused by loss of sleep, study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety, self-abuse, excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. overwork may cause debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it may not be a sign of debility, sexual lethargy or impotence. get the mind and the physical constitution in proper condition, and most all these difficulties will disappear. good athletic exercise by walking, riding, or playing croquet, or any other amusement, will greatly improve the condition. a good rest, however, will be necessary to fully restore the mind and the body, then the natural condition of the sexual organs will be resumed. . having twins.--having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and descends from generation to generation, and persons who have twins are generally those who have great sexual vigor. it is generally the result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first, but some parents have twins who cohabit but once during several days. . proper intercourse.--the right relation of a newly-married couple will rather increase than diminish love. to thus offer up the maiden on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy and bliss; whereas, on the other hand, sensuality humbles, debases, pollutes, and never elevates. young husbands should wait for an _invitation to the banquet_ and they will be amply paid by the very pleasure sought. invitation or permission delights, and possession by force degrades. the right-minded bridegroom will postpone the exercise of his nuptial rights for a few days, and allow his young wife to become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the wedding, and become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of life. . rightly beginning sexual life.--intercourse promotes all the functions of the body and mind, but rampant just and sexual abuses soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness will be the result. remember that _intercourse_ should not become the polluted purpose of marriage. to be sure, rational enjoyment benefits and stimulates love, but the pleasure of each other's society, standing together on all questions of mutual benefit, working hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life, raising a family of beautiful children, sharing each other's joys and sorrows, are the things that bring to every couple the best, purest, and noblest enjoyment that god has bestowed upon man. [illustration: a turkish harem.] * * * * * sexual proprieties and improprieties. . to have offspring is not to be regarded as a luxury, but as a great primary necessity of health and happiness, of which every fully-developed man and woman should have a fair share, while it cannot be denied that the ignorance of the necessity of sexual intercourse to the health and virtue of both man and woman is the most fundamental error in medical and moral philosophy. . in a state of pure nature, where man would have his sexual instincts under full and natural restraint, there would be little, if any, licentiousness, and children would be the result of natural desire, and not the accidents of lust. . this is an age of sensuality; unnatural passions cultivated and indulged. young people in the course of their engagement often sow the seed of serious excesses. this habit of embracing, sitting on the lover's lap, leaning on his breast, long and uninterrupted periods of secluded companionship, have become so common that it is amazing how a young lady can safely arrive at the wedding day. while this conduct may safely terminate with the wedding day, yet it cultivates the tendency which often results in excessive indulgencies after the honey-moon is over. . separate beds.--many writers have vigorously championed as a reform the practice of separate beds for husband and wife. while we would not recommend such separation, it is no doubt very much better for both husband and wife, in case the wife is pregnant. where people are reasonably temperate, no such ordinary precautions as separate sleeping places may be necessary. but in case of pregnancy it will add rest to the mother and add vigor to the unborn child. sleeping together, however, is natural and cultivates true affection, and it is physiologically true that in very cold weather life is prolonged by husband and wife sleeping together. . the authority of the wife.--let the wife judge whether she desires a separate couch or not. she has the superior right to control her own person. in such diseases as consumption, or other severe or lingering diseases, separate beds should always be insisted upon. . the time for indulgence.--the health of the generative functions depends upon exercise, just the same as any other vital organ. intercourse should be absolutely avoided just before or after meals, or just after mental excitement or physical exercise. no wife should indulge her husband when he is under the influence of alcoholic stimulants, for idiocy and other serious maladies are liable to be visited upon the offspring. . restraint during pregnancy.--there is no question but what moderate indulgence during the first few months of pregnancy does not result in serious harm; but people who excessively satisfy their ill-governed passions are liable to pay a serious penalty. . miscarriage.--if a woman is liable to abortion or miscarriage, absolute abstinence is the only remedy. no sexual indulgence during pregnancy can be safely tolerated. . it is better for people not to marry until they are of proper age. it is a physiological fact that men seldom reach the full maturity or their virile power before the age of twenty-five, and the female rarely attains the full vigor of her sexual powers before the age of twenty. . illicit pleasures.--the indulgence of illicit pleasures, says dr. s. pancoast, sooner or later is sure to entail the most loathsome diseases on their votaries. among these diseases are gonorrhoea, syphilis, spermatorrhoea (waste of semen by daily and nightly involuntary emissions), satyriasis (a species of sexual madness, or a sexual diabolism, causing men to commit rape and other beastly acts and outrages, not only on women and children, but men and animals, as sodomy, pederasty, etc.), nymphomania (causing women to assail every man they meet, and supplicate and excite him to gratify their lustful passions, or who resort to means of sexual pollutions, which is impossible to describe without shuddering), together with spinal diseases and many disorders of the most distressing and disgusting character filling the bones with rottenness, and eating away the flesh by gangrenous ulcers, until the patient dies, a horrible mass of putridity and corruption. . sensuality.--sensuality is not love, but an unbridled desire which kills the soul. sensuality will drive away the roses in the cheeks of womanhood, undermine health and produce a brazen countenance that can be read by all men. the harlot may commit her sins in the dark, but her countenance reveals her character and her immorality is an open secret. . sexual temperance.--all excesses and absurdities of every kind should be carefully avoided. many of the female disorders which often revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasure are largely due to the excessive practice of sexual indulgence. . frequency.--some writers claim that intercourse should never occur except for the purpose of childbearing but such restraint is not natural and consequently not conducive to health. there are many conditions in which the health of the mother and offspring must be respected. it is now held that it is nearer a crime than a virtue to prostitute woman to the degradation of breeding animals by compelling her to bring into life more offspring than can be born healthy, or be properly cared for and educated. . in this work we shall attempt to specify no rule, but simply give advice as to the health and happiness of both man and wife. a man should not gratify his own desires at the expense of his wife's health, comfort or inclination. many men no doubt harass their wives and force many burdens upon their slender constitutions. but it is a great sin and no true husband will demand unreasonable recognition. the wife when physically able, however, should bear with her husband. man is naturally sensitive on this subject, and it takes but little to alienate his affections and bring discover into the family. . the best writers lay down the rule for the government of the marriage-bed, that sexual indulgence should only occur about once in a week or ten days, and this of course applies only to those who enjoy a fair degree of health. but it is a hygienic and physiological fact that those who indulge only once a month receive a far greater degree of the intensity of enjoyment than those who indulge their passions more frequently. much pleasure is lost by excesses where much might be gained by temperance giving rest to the organs for the accumulation of nervous force. [illustration] * * * * * how to perpetuate the honey-moon. . continue your courtship.--like causes produce like effects. . neglect of your companion.--do not assume a right to neglect your companion more after marriage than you did before. . secrets.--have no secrets that you keep from your companion. a third party is always disturbing. . avoid the appearance of evil.--in matrimonial matters it is often that the mere appearance contains all the evil. love, as soon as it rises above calculation and becomes love, is exacting. it gives all, and demands all. . once married, never open your mind to any change. if you keep the door of your purpose closed, evil or even desirable changes cannot make headway without help. . keep step in mental development.--a tree that grows for forty years may take all the sunlight from a tree that stops growing at twenty. . keep a lively interest in the business of the home.--two that do not pull together are weaker than either alone. . gauge your expenses by your revenues.--love must eat. the sheriff often levies on cupid long before he takes away the old furniture. . start from where your parents started rather than from where they now are.--hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too strong temptation, while the quietness of a humble home would cement the hearts beyond risk. . avoid debt.--spend your own money, but earn it first, then it will not be necessary to blame any one for spending other people's. . do not both get angry at the same time.--remember, it takes two to quarrel. . do not allow yourself ever to come to an open rupture.--things unsaid need less repentance. . study to conform your tastes and habits to the tastes and habits of your companion.--if two walk together, they must agree. * * * * * how to be a good wife. . reverence your husband.--he sustains by god's order a position of dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. any breaking down of this order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from duty. . love him.--a wife loves as naturally as the sun shines. love is your best weapon. you conquered him with that in the first place. you can reconquer by the same means. . do not conceal your love from him.--if he is crowded with care, and too busy to seem to heed your love, you need to give all the greater attention to securing his knowledge of your love. if you intermit he will settle down into a hard, cold life with increased rapidity. your example will keep the light on his conviction. the more he neglects the fire on the hearth, the more carefully must you feed and guard it. it must not be allowed to go out. once out you must sit ever in darkness and in the cold. . cultivate the modesty and delicacy of your youth.--the relations and familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive and retiring instincts of girlhood, but nothing can compensate for the loss of these. however, much men may admire the public performance of gifted women, they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife. the holy blush of a maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and governing a home than the heaviest armament that ever a warrior bore. . cultivate personal attractiveness.--this means the storing of your mind with a knowledge of passing events, and with a good idea of the world's general advance. if you read nothing, and make no effort to make yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of stupidity. if your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom, or of common information, he will soon hear nothing from you. dress and gossips soon wear out. if your memory is weak, so that it hardly seems worth while to read, that is additional reason for reading. [illustration: talking before marriage.] . cultivate physical attractiveness.--when you were encouraging the attentions of him whom you now call husband, you did not neglect any item of dress or appearance that could help you. your hair was always in perfect training. you never greeted him with a ragged or untidy dress or soiled hands. it is true that your "market is made," but you cannot afford to have it "broken." cleanliness and good taste will attract now as they did formerly. keep yourself at your best. make the most of physical endowments. neatness and order break the power of poverty. . study your husband's character.--he has his peculiarities. he has no right to many of them, and you need to know them; thus you can avoid many hours of friction. the good pilot steers around the sunken rocks that lie in the channel. the engineer may remove them, not the pilot. you are more pilot than engineer. consult his tastes. it is more important to your home, that you should please him than anybody else. . practice economy.--many families are cast out of peace into grumbling and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty. when there are no great distresses to be endured or accounted for, complaint and fault-finding are not so often evoked. keep your husband free from the annoyance of disappointed creditors, and he will be more apt to keep free from annoying you. to toil hard for bread, to fight the wolf from the door, to resist impatient creditors, to struggle against complaining pride at home, is too much to ask of one man. a crust that is your own is a feast, while a feast that is purloined from unwilling creditors if a famine. * * * * * how to be a good husband. . show your love.--all life manifests itself. as certainly as a live tree will put forth leaves in the spring, so certainly will a living love show itself. many a noble man toils early and late to earn bread and position for his wife. he hesitates at no weariness for her sake. he justly thinks that such industry and providence give a better expression of his love than he could by caressing her and letting the grocery bills go unpaid. he fills the cellar and pantry. he drives and pushes his business. he never dreams that he is actually starving his wife to death. he may soon have a woman left to superintend his home, but his wife is dying. she must be kept alive by the same process that called her into being. recall and repeat the little attentions and delicate compliments that once made you so agreeable, and that fanned her love into a consuming flame. it is not beneath the dignity of the skillful physician to study all the little symptoms, and order all the little round of attentions that check the waste of strength and brace the staggering constitution. it is good work for a husband to cherish his wife. [illustration: talking after marriage.] . consult with your wife.--she is apt to be as right as you are, and frequently able to add much to your stock of wisdom. in any event she appreciates your attentions. . study to keep her young.--it can be done. it is not work, but worry, that wears. keep a brave, true heart between her and all harm. . help to bear her burdens.--bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of love. love seeks opportunities to do for the loved object. she has the constant care of your children. she is ordained by the lord to stand guard over them. not a disease can appear in the community without her taking the alarm. not a disease can come over the threshold without her instantly springing into the mortal combat. if there is a deficiency anywhere it comes out of her pleasure. her burdens are everywhere. look for them, that you may lighten them. . make yourself helpful by thoughtfulness.--remember to bring into the house your best smile and sunshine. it is good for you, and it cheers up the home. there is hardly a nook in the house that has not been carefully hunted through to drive out everything that might annoy you. the dinner which suits, or ought to suit you, has not come on the table of itself. it represents much thoughtfulness and work. you can do no more manly thing than find some way of expressing, in word or look, your appreciation of it. . express your will, not by commands, but by suggestions.--it is god's order that you should be the head of the family. you are clothed with authority. but this does not authorize you to be stern and harsh, as an officer in the army. your authority is the dignity of love. when it is not clothed in love it ceases to have the substance of authority. a simple suggestion that may embody a wish, an opinion or an argument, becomes one who reigns over such a kingdom as yours. . seek to refine your nature.--it is no slander to say that many men have wives much more refined than themselves. this is natural in the inequalities of life. other qualities may compensate for any defect here. but you need have no defect in refinement. preserve the gentleness and refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your children, and in so doing you will lift yourself to higher levels. . be a gentleman as well as a husband.--the signs and bronze and callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman. the soul of gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others, that prompts one to secure their comfort. that is why the thoughtful peasant lover is always so gentlemanly, and in his love much above himself. . stay at home.--habitual absence during the evenings is sure to bring sorrow. if your duty or business calls you you have the promise that you will be kept in all your ways. but if you go out to mingle with other society, and leave your wife at home alone, or with the children and servants, know that there is no good in store for you. she has claims upon you that you can not afford to allow to go to protest. reverse the case. you sit down alone after having waited all day for your wife's return, and think of her as reveling in gay society, and see if you can keep out all the doubts as to what takes her away. if your home is not as attractive as you want it, you are a principal partner. set yourself about the work of making it attractive. . take your wife with you into society.--seclusion begets morbidness. she needs some of the life that comes from contact with society. she must see how other people appear and act. it often requires an exertion for her to go out of her home, but it is good for her and for you. she will bring back more sunshine. it is wise to rest sometimes. when the arab stops for his dinner he unpacks his camel. treat your wife with as much consideration. [illustration] [illustration: tired of life.] * * * * * cause of family troubles. . much better to be alone.--he who made man said it is not good for him to be alone; but it is much better to be alone, than it is to be in some kinds of company. many couples who felt unhappy when they were apart, have been utterly miserable when together; and scores who have been ready to go through fire and water to get married, have been willing to run the risk of fire and brimstone to get divorced. it is by no means certain that because persons are wretched before marriage they will be happy after it. the wretchedness of many homes, and the prevalence of immorality and divorce is a sad commentary on the evils which result from unwise marriages. . unavoidable evils.--there are plenty of unavoidable evils in this world, and it is mournful to think of the multitudes who are preparing themselves for needless disappointments, and who yet have no fear, and are unwilling to be instructed, cautioned or warned. to them the experience of mature life is of little account compared with the wisdom of ardent and enthusiastic youth. . matrimonial infelicity.--one great cause of matrimonial infelicity is the hasty marriages of persons who have no adequate knowledge of each other's characters. two strangers become acquainted, and are attracted to each other, and without taking half the trouble to investigate or inquire that a prudent man would take before buying a saddle horse, they are married. in a few weeks or months it is perhaps found that one of the parties was married already, or possibly that the man is drunken or vicious, or the woman anything but what she should be. then begins the bitter part of the experience: shame, disgrace, scandal, separation, sin and divorce, all come as the natural results of a rash and foolish marriage. a little time spent in honest, candid, and careful preliminary inquiry and investigations would have saved the trouble. . the climax.--it has been said that a man is never utterly ruined until he has married a bad woman. so the climax of woman's miseries and sorrows may be said to come only when she is bound with that bond which should be her chiefest blessing and her highest joy, but which may prove her deepest sorrow and her bitterest curse. . the folly of follies.--there are some lessons which people are very slow to learn, and yet which are based upon the simple principles of common-sense. a young lady casts her eye upon a young man. she says, "i mean to have that man." she plies her arts, engages his affections, marries him, and secures for herself a life of sorrow and disappointment, ending perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave. any prudent, intelligent person of mature age, might have warned or cautioned her; but she sought no advice, and accepted no admonition. a young man may pursue a similar course with equally disastrous results. . hap-hazard.--many marriages are undoubtedly arranged by what may be termed the accident of locality. persons live near each other, become acquainted, and engage themselves to those whom they never would have selected as their companions in life if they had wider opportunities of acquaintance. within the borders of their limited circle they make a selection which may be wise or may be unwise. they have no means of judging, they allow no one else to judge for them. the results are sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy in the extreme. it is well to act cautiously in doing what can be done but once. it is not a pleasant experience for a person to find out a mistake when it is too late to rectify it. . we all change.--when two persons of opposite sex are often thrown together they are very naturally attracted to each other, and are liable to imbibe the opinion that they are better fitted for life-long companionship than any other two persons in the world. this may be the case, or it may not be. there are a thousand chances against such a conclusion to one in favor of it. but even if at the present moment these two persons were fitted to be associated, no one can tell whether the case will be the same five or ten years hence. men change; women change; they are not the same they were ten years ago; they are not the same they will be ten years hence. . the safe rule.--do not be in a hurry; take your time and consider well before you allow your devotion to rule you. study first your character, then study the character of her whom you desire to marry. love works mysteriously, and if it will bear careful and cool investigation, it will no doubt thrive under adversity. when people marry they unite their destinies for the better or the worse. marriage is a contract for life and will never bear a hasty conclusion. _never be in a hurry_! * * * * * jealousy--its cause and cure. trifles, light as air are to the jealous confirmations strong, as proofs of holy writ.--shakespeare. nor jealousy was understood, the injur'd lover's hell.--milton o, beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.--shakespeare. . definition.--jealousy is an accidental passion, for which the faculty indeed is unborn. in its nobler form and in its nobler motives it arises from love, and in its lower form it arises from the deepest and darkest pit of satan. . how developed.--jealousy arises either from weakness, which from a sense of its own want of lovable qualities is not convinced of being sure of its cause, or from distrust, which thinks the beloved person capable of infidelity. sometimes all these motives may act together. . noblest jealousy.--the noblest jealousy, if the term noble is appropriate, is a sort of ambition or pride of the loving person who feels it is an insult that another one should assume it as possible to supplant his love, or it is the highest degree of devotion which sees a declaration of its object in the foreign invasion, as it were, of his own altar. jealousy is always a sign that a little more wisdom might adorn the individual without harm. . the lowest jealousy.--the lowest species of jealousy is a sort of avarice of envy which, without being capable of love, at least wishes to possess the object of its jealousy alone by the one party assuming a sort of property right over the other. this jealousy, which might be called the satanic, is generally to be found with old withered "husbands," whom the devil has prompted to marry young women and who forthwith dream night and day of cuck-old's horns. these argus-eyed keepers are no longer capable of any feeling that could be called love, they are rather as a rule heartless house-tyrants, and are in constant dread that some one may admire or appreciate his unfortunate slave. . want of lore.--the general conclusion will be that jealousy is more the result of wrong conditions which cause uncongenial unions, and which through moral corruption artificially create distrust than a necessary accompaniment of love. [illustration: seeking the life of a rival.] . result of poor opinion.--jealousy is a passion with which those are most afflicted who are the least worthy of love. an innocent maiden who enters marriage will not dream of getting jealous; but all her innocence cannot secure her against the jealousy of her husband if he has been a libertine. those are wont to be the most jealous who have the consciousness that they themselves are most deserving of jealousy. most men in consequence of their present education and corruption have so poor an opinion not only of the male, but even of the female sex, that they believe every woman at every moment capable of what they themselves have looked for among all and have found among the most unfortunate, the prostitutes. no libertine can believe in the purity of woman; it is contrary to nature. a libertine therefore cannot believe in the loyalty of a faithful wife. . when justifiable.--there may be occasions where jealousy is justifiable. if a woman's confidence has been shaken in her husband, or a husband's confidence has been shaken in his wife by certain signs or conduct, which have no other meaning but that of infidelity, then there is just cause for jealousy. there must, however, be certain proof as evidence of the wife's or husband's immoral conduct. imaginations or any foolish absurdities should have no consideration whatever, and let everyone have confidence until his or her faith has been shaken by the revelation of absolute facts. . caution and advice.--no couple should allow their associations to develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any inclination to jealousy. it shows invariably a want of sufficient confidence, and that want of confidence, instead of being diminished after marriage, is liable to increase, until by the aid of the imagination and wrong interpretation the home is made a hell and divorce a necessity. let it be remembered, there can be no true love without perfect and absolute confidence, jealousy is always the sign of weakness or madness. avoid a jealous disposition, for it is an open acknowledgment of a lack of faith. [illustration] * * * * * the improvement of offspring. why bring into the world idiots, fools, criminals and lunatics? . the right way.--when mankind will properly love and marry and then rightly generate, carry, nurse and educate their children, will they in deed and in truth carry out the holy and happy purpose of their creator. see those miserable and depraved scape-goats of humanity, the demented simpletons, the half-crazy, unbalanced multitudes which infest our earth, and fill our prisons with criminals and our poor-houses with paupers. oh! the boundless capabilities and perfections of our god-like nature and, alas! its deformities! all is the result of the ignorance or indifference of parents. as long as children are the accidents of lust instead of the premeditated objects of love, so long will the offspring deteriorate and the world be cursed with deformities, monstrosities, unhumanities and cranks. . each after its kind.--"like parents like children." "in their own image beget" they them. in what other can they? "how can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit?" how can animal propensities in parents generate other than depraved children, or moral purity beget beings other than as holy by nature as those at whose hands they received existence and constitution? . as are the parents, physically, mentally and morally when they stamp their own image and likeness upon progeny, so will be the constitution of that progeny. . "just as the twig is bent the tree's inclined."--yet the bramble cannot be bent to bear delicious peaches, nor the sycamore to bear grain. education is something, _but parentage_ is _everything_; because it "_dyes in the wool_" and thereby exerts an influence on character almost infinitely more powerful than all other conditions put together. . healthy and beautiful children.--thoughtless mortal! before you allow the first goings forth of love, learn what the parental conditions in you mean, and you will confer a great boon upon the prospective bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh! if it is in your power to be the parent of beautiful, healthy, moral and talented children instead of diseased and depraved, is it not your imperious duty then, to impart to them that physical power, moral perfection, and intellectual capability, which shall ennoble their lives and make them good people and good citizens? . pause and tremble.--prospective parents! will you trifle with the dearest interests of your children? will you in matters thus momentous, head-long rush "where angels dare not tread," seeking only mere animal indulgence?--well might cherubim shrink from assuming responsibilities thus momentous yet, how many parents tread this holy ground completely unprepared, and almost as thoughtlessly and ignorantly as brutes--entailing even loathsome diseases and sensual propensities upon the fruit of their own bodies. whereas they are bound, by obligations the most imperious to bestow on them a good physical organization, along with a pure, moral, and strong intellectual constitution, or else not to become parents! especially since it is easier to generate human angels than devils incarnate. . hereditary descent.--this great law of things, "hereditary descent," fully proves and illustrates in any required number and variety or cases, showing that progeny inherits the constitutional natures and characters, mental and physical, of parents, including pre-dispositions to consumption, insanity, all sorts of disease, etc., as well as longevity, strength, stature, looks, disposition, talents,--all that is constitutional. from what other source do or can they come? indeed, who can doubt a truth as palpable as that children inherit some, and if some, therefore all, the physical and mental nature and constitutor of parents, thus becoming almost their fac-similes? . illustrations.--a whaleman was severely hurt by a harpooned and desperate whale turning upon the small boat, and, by his monstrous jaws, smashing it to pieces, one of which, striking him in his right side, crippled him for life. when sufficiently recovered, he married, according to previous engagement, and his daughter, born in due time, and closely resembling him in looks, constitution and character, has a weak and sore place corresponding in location with that of the injury of her father. tubercles have been found in the lungs of infants at birth, born of consumptive parents,--a proof, clear and demonstrative, that children inherit the several states of parental physiology existing at the time they received their physiological constitution. the same is true of the transmission of those diseases consequent on the violation of the law of chastity, and the same conclusion established thereby. . parent's participation.--each parent furnishing at indispensable portion of the materials of life, and somehow or other, contributes parentally to the formation of the constitutional character of their joint product, appears far more reasonable, than to ascribe, as many do, the whole to either some to paternity, others to maternity. still this decision go which way it may, does not affect the great fact that children inherit both the physiology and the mentality existing in parents at the time they received being and constitution. . illegitimates or bastards also furnish strong proof of the correctness of this our leading doctrine. they are generally lively, sprightly, witty, frolicksome, knowing, quiet of perception, apt to learn, full of passion, quick-tempered, impulsive throughout, hasty, indiscreet, given to excesses, yet abound in good feeling, and are well calculated to enjoy life, though in general sadly deficient in some essential moral elements. . character of illegitimates.--wherein, then, consists this difference? first, in "novelty lending an enchantment" rarely experienced in sated wedlock, as well as in, power of passion sufficient to break through all restraint, external and internal; and hence their high wrought organization. they are usually wary and on the alert, and their parents drank "stolen waters." they are commonly wanting in moral balance, or else delinquent in some important moral aspect; nor would they have ever been born unless this had been the case, for the time being at least with their parents. behold in these, and many other respects easily cited, how striking the coincidence between their characters on the one hand, and, on the other, those parental conditions necessarily attendant on their origin. . children's condition depends upon parents' condition at the time of the sexual embrace. let parents recall, as nearly as may be their circumstances and states of body and mind at this period, and place them by the side of the physical and mental constitutions of their children, and then say whether this law is not a great practical truth, and if so, its importance is as the happiness and misery it is capable of affecting! the application of this mighty engine of good or evil to mankind, to the promotion of human advancement, is the great question which should profoundly interest all parents. . the vital period.--the physical condition of parents at the vital period of transmission of life should be a perfect condition of health in both body and mind, and a vigorous condition of all the animal organs and functions. . muscular preparation.--especially should parents cultivate their muscular system preparatory to the perfection of this function, and of their children; because, to impart strength and stamina to offspring they must of necessity both possess a good muscular organization, and also bring it into vigorous requisition at this period. for this reason, if for no other, let those of sedentary habits cultivate muscular energy preparatory to this time of need. . the seed.--so exceedingly delicate are the seeds of life, that, unless planted in a place of perfect security, they must all be destroyed and our race itself extinguished. and what place is as secure as that chosen, where they can be reached only with the utmost difficulty, and than only as the peril of even life itself? imperfect seed sown in poor ground means a sickly harvest. . healthy people--most children.--the most healthy classes have the most numerous families; but that, as luxury enervates society, it diminishes the population, by enfeebling parents, nature preferring none rather than those too weakly to live and be happy, and thereby rendering that union unfruitful which is too feeble to produce offspring sufficiently strong to enjoy life. debility and disease often cause barrenness. nature seems to rebel against sickly offspring. . why children die.--inquire whether one or both the parents of those numerous children that die around us, have not weak lungs, or a debilitated stomach, or a diseased liver, or feeble muscles, or else use them but little, or disordered nerves, or some other debility or form of disease. the prevalence of summer complaints, colic, cholera infantum, and other affections of these vital organs of children is truly alarming, sweeping them into their graves by the million. shall other animals rear nearly all their young, and shall man, constitutionally by far the strongest of them all, lose half or more of his? is this the order of nature? no, but their death-worm is born in and with them, and by parental agency. . grave-yard statistics.--take grave-yard statistics in august, and then say, whether most of the deaths of children are not caused by indigestion, or feebleness of the bowels, liver, etc., or complaints growing out of them? rather, take family statistics from broken-hearted parents! and yet, in general, those very parents who thus suffer more than words can tell, were the first and main transgressors, because they entailed those dyspeptic, heart, and other kindred affections so common among american parents upon their own children, and thereby almost as bad as killed them by inches; thus depriving them of the joys of life, and themselves of their greatest earthly treasure! . all children may die.--children may indeed die whose parents are healthy, but they almost must whose parents are essentially ailing in one or more of their vital organs; because, since they inherit this organ debilitated or diseased, any additional cause of sickness attacks this part first, and when it gives out, all go by the board together. . parents must learn and obey.--how infinitely more virtuous and happy would your children be if you should be healthy in body, and happy in mind, so as to beget in them a constitutionally healthy and vigorous physiology, along with a serene and happy frame of mind! words are utterly powerless in answer, and so is everything but a lifetime of consequent happiness or misery! learn and obey, then, the laws of life and health, that you may both reap the rich reward yourself, and also shower down upon your children after you, blessings many and most exalted. avoid excesses of all kinds, be temperate, take good care of the body and avoid exposures and disease, and your children will be models of health and beauty. . the right condition.--the great practical inference is, that those parents who desire intellectual and moral children, must love each other; because, this love, besides perpetually calling forth and cultivating their higher faculties, awakens them to the highest pitch of exalted action in that climax, concentration, and consummation of love which propagates their existing qualities, the mental endowment of offspring being proportionate to the purity and intensity of parental love. . the effects.--the children of affectionate parents receive existence and constitution when love has rendered the mentality of their parents both more elevated and more active than it is by nature, of course the children of loving parents are both more intellectual and moral by nature than their parents. now, if these children and their companions also love one another, this same law which renders the second generation better than the first, will of course render the third still better than the second, and thus of all succeeding generations. . animal impulse.--you may preach and pray till doomsday--may send out missionaries, may circulate tracts and bibles, and multiply revivals and all the means of grace, with little avail; because, as long as mankind go on, as now, to propagate by animal impulse, so long must their offspring be animal, sensual, devilish! but only induce parents cordially to love each other, and you thereby render their children constitutionally talented and virtuous. oh! parents, by as much as you prefer the luxuries of concord to the torments of discord, and children that are sweet dispositioned and highly intellectual to those that are rough wrathful, and depraved, be entreated to "_love one another_." [illustration: just home from school.] * * * * * too many children. . lessening pauperism.--many of the agencies for lessening pauperism are afraid of tracing back its growth to the frequency of births under wretched conditions. one begins to question whether after all sweet charity or dignified philanthropy has not acted with an unwise reticence. among the problems which defy practical handling this is the most complicated. the pauperism which arises from marriage is the result of the worst elements of character legalized. in america, where the boundaries of wedlock are practically boundless, it is not desirable, even were it possible, that the state should regulate marriage much further than it now does; therefore must the sociologist turn for aid to society in his struggle with pauperism. . right physical and spiritual conditions of birth.--society should insist upon the right spiritual and physical conditions for birth. it should be considered more than "a pity" when another child is born into a home too poor to receive it. the underlying selfishness of such an event should be recognized, for it brings motherhood under wrong conditions of health and money. instead of each birth being the result of mature consideration and hallowed loves children are too often born as animals are born. to be sure the child has a father whom he can call by name. better that there had never been a child. . wrong results.--no one hesitates to declare that if is want of self-respect and morality which brings wrong results outside of marriage, but it is also the want of them which begets evil inside the marriage relation. though there is nothing more difficult than to find the equilibrium between self-respect and self-sacrifice, yet on success in finding it depends individual and national preservation. the fact of being wife and mother or husband and father should imply dignity and joyousness, no matter how humble the home. . difference of opinion amongst physicians.--in regard to teaching, the difficulties are great. as soon as one advances beyond the simplest subjects of hygiene, one is met with the difference of opinions among physicians. when each one has a different way of making a mustard plaster, no wonder that each has his own notions about everything else. one doctor recommends frequent births, another advises against them. . different natures.--if physiological facts are taught to a large class, there are sure to be some in it whose impressionable natures are excited by too much plain speaking, while there are others who need the most open teaching in order to gain any benefit. talks to a few persons generally are wiser than popular lectures. especially are talks needed by mothers and unmothered girls who come from everywhere to the city. . boys and young men.--it is not women alone who require the shelter of organizations and instruction, but boys and young men. there is no double standard of morality, though the methods of advocating it depend upon the sex which is to be instructed. men are more concerned with the practical basis of morality than with its sentiment, and with the pecuniary aspects of domestic life than with its physical and mental suffering. we all may need medicine for moral ills, yet the very intangibleness of purity makes us slow to formulate rules for its growth. under the guidance of the wise in spirit and knowledge, much can be done to create a higher standard of marriage and to proportion the number of births according to the health and income of parents. . for the sake of the state.--if the home exists primarily for the sake of the individual, it exists secondarily for the sake of the state. therefore, any home into which are continually born the inefficient children of inefficient parents, not only is a discomfort in itself, but it also furnishes members for the armies of the unemployed, which are tinkering and hindering legislation and demanding by the brute force of numbers that the state shall support them. . opinions from high authorities.--in the statements and arguments made in the above we have not relied upon our own opinions and convictions, but have consulted the best authorities, and we hereby quote some of the highest authorities upon this subject. . rev. leonard dawson.--"how rapidly conjugal prudence might lift a nation out of pauperism was seen in france.--let them therefore hold the maxim that the production of offspring with forethought and providence is rational nature. it was immoral to bring children into the world whom they could not reasonably hope to feed, clothe and educate." . mrs. fawcett.--"nothing will permanently offset pauperism while the present reckless increase of population continues." . dr. george napheys.--"having too many children unquestionably has its disastrous effects on both mother and children as known to every intelligent physician. two-thirds of all cases of womb disease, says dr. tilt, are traceable to child-bearing in feeble women. there are also women to whom pregnancy is a nine months' torture, and others to whom it is nearly certain to prove fatal. such a condition cannot be discovered before marriage--the detestable crime of abortion is appallingly rife in our day. it is abroad in our land to an extent which would have shocked the dissolute women of pagan romes--this wholesale, fashionable murder, how are we to stop it? hundreds of vile men and women in our large cities subsist by this slaughter of the innocent." . rev. h.r. haweis.--"until it is thought a disgrace in every rank of society, from top to bottom of social scale, to bring into the world more children than you are able to provide for, the poor man's home, at least, must often be a purgatory--his children dinnerless, his wife a beggar--himself too often drunk--here, then, are the real remedies: first, control the family growth according to the family means of support." . montague cookson.--"the limitation of the number of the family--is as much the duty of married persons as the observance of chastity is the duty of those that are unmarried." . john stuart mill.--"every one has aright to live. we will suppose this granted. but no one has a right to bring children into life to be supported by other people. whoever means to stand upon the first of these rights must renounce all pretension to the last. little improvement can be expected in morality until the production of a large family is regarded in the same light as drunkenness or any other physical excess." . dr. t.d. nicholls.--"in the present social state, men and women should refrain from having children unless they see a reasonable prospect of giving them suitable nurture and education." . rev. m.j. savage.--"some means ought to be provided for checking the birth of sickly children." . dr. stockham.--"thoughtful minds must acknowledge the great wrong done when children are begotten under adverse conditions. women must learn the laws of life so as to protect themselves, and not be the means of bringing sin-cursed, diseased children into the world. the remedy is in the prevention of pregnancy, not in producing abortion." * * * * * small families and the improvement of the race. . married people must decide for themselves.--it is the fashion of those who marry nowadays to have few children, often none. of course this is a matter which married people must decide for themselves. as is stated in an earlier chapter, sometimes this policy is the wisest that can be pursued. . diseased people who are likely to beget only a sickly offspring, may follow this course, and so may thieves, rascals, vagabonds, insane and drunken persons, and all those who are likely to bring into the world beings that ought not to be here. but why so many well-to-do folks should pursue a policy adapted only to paupers and criminals, is not easy to explain. why marry at all if not to found a family that shall live to bless and make glad the earth after father and mother are gone? it is not wise to rear too many children, nor is it wise to have too few. properly brought up, they will make home a delight, and parents happy. [illustration: a well nourished child.] . population limited.--galton, in his great work on hereditary genius, observes that "the time may hereafter arrive in far distant years, when the population of this earth shall be kept as strictly within bounds of number and suitability of race, as the sheep of a well-ordered moor, or the plants in an orchard-house; in the meantime let us do what we can to encourage the multiplication of the races best fitted to invent and conform to a high and generous civilization." . shall sickly people raise children?--the question whether sickly people should marry and propagate their kind, is briefly alluded to in an early chapter of this work. where father and mother are both consumptive the chances are that the children will inherit physical weakness, which will result in the same disease, unless great pains are taken to give them a good physical education, and even then the probabilities are that they will find life a burden hardly worth living. . no real blessing.--where one parent is consumptive and the other vigorous, the chances are just half as great. if there is a scrofulous or consumptive taint in the blood, beware! sickly children are no comfort to their parents, no real blessing. if such people marry, they had better, in most cases, avoid parentage. . welfare of mankind.--the advancement of the welfare of mankind is a most intricate problem: all ought to refrain from marriage who cannot avoid abject poverty for their children; for poverty is not only a great evil, but tends to its own increase by leading to recklessness in marriage. on the other hand, as mr. galton has remarked, if the prudent avoid marriage, while the reckless marry, the inferior members will tend to supplant the better members of society. . preventives.--remember that the thousands of preventives which are advertised in papers, private circulars, etc., are not only inefficient, unreliable and worthless, but positively dangerous, and the annual mortality of females in this country from this cause alone is truly horrifying. study nature, and nature's laws alone will guide you safely in the path of health and happiness. . nature's remedy.--nature in her wise economy has prepared for overproduction, for during the period of pregnancy and nursing, and also most of the last half of each menstrual month, woman is naturally sterile; but this condition may become irregular and uncertain on account of stimulating drinks or immoral excesses. * * * * * the generative organs. [illustration: the male generative organs and their structure and adaptation.] . the reproductive organs in man are the penis and testicles and their appendages. . the penis deposits the seminal life germ of the male. it is designed to fulfill the seed planting mission of human life. . in the accompanying illustration all the parts are named. . urethra.--the urethra performs the important mission of emptying the bladder, and is rendered very much larger by the passion, and the semen is propelled along through it by little layers of muscles on each side meeting above and below. it is this canal that is inflamed by the disease known as gonorrhoea. . prostate gland.--the prostate gland is located just before the bladder. it swells in men who have previously overtaxed it, thus preventing all sexual intercourse, and becomes very troublesome to void urine. this is a very common trouble in old age. . the penal gland.--the penal gland, located at the end of the penis, becomes unduly enlarged by excessive action and has the consistency of india rubber. it is always enlarged by erection. it is this gland at the end that draws the semen forward. it is one of the most essential and wonderful constructed glands of the human body. . female magnetism.--when the male organ comes in contact with female magnetism, the natural and proper excitement takes place. when excited without this female magnetism it becomes one of the most serious injuries to the human body. the male organ was made for a high and holy purpose, and woe be to him who pollutes his manhood by practicing the secret vice. he pays the penalty in after years either by the entire loss of sexual power, or by the afflictions of various urinary diseases. . nature pays all her debts, and when there is an abuse of organ, penalties must follow. if the hand is thrust into the fire it will be burnt. * * * * * the female sexual organs. . the generative or reproductive organs of the human female are usually divided into the internal and external. those regarded as internal are concealed from view and protected within the body. those that can be readily perceived are termed external. the entrance of the vagina may be stated as the line of demarcation of the two divisions. [illustration: anatomy or structure of the female organs of generation.] . hymen or vaginal valve.--this is a thin membrane of half moon shape stretched across the opening of the vagina. it usually contains before marriage one or more small openings for the passage of the menses. this membrane has been known to cause much distress in many females at the first menstrual flow. the trouble resulting from the openings in the hymen not being large enough to let the flow through and consequently blocking up the vaginal canal, and filling the entire internal sexual organs with blood; causing paroxysms and hysterics and other alarming symptoms. in such cases the hymen must be ruptured that a proper discharge may take place at once. [illustration: impregnated egg. in the first formation of embryo.] . unyielding hymen.--the hymen is usually ruptured by the first sexual intercourse, but sometimes it is so unyielding as to require the aid of a knife before coition can take place. . the presence of the hymen was formerly considered a test of virginity, but this theory is no longer held by competent authorities, as disease or accidents or other circumstances may cause its rupture. . the ovaries.--the ovaries are little glands for the purpose of forming the female ova or egg. they are not fully developed until the period of puberty, and usually are about the size of a large chestnut. the are located in the broad ligaments between the uterus and the fallopian tubes. during pregnancy the ovaries change position; they are brought farther into the abdominal cavity as the uterus expands. . office of the ovary.--the ovary is to the female what the testicle is to the male. it is the germ vitalizing organ and the most essential part of the generative apparatus. the ovary is not only an organ for the formation of the ova, but is also designed for their separation when they reach maturity. . fallopion tubes.--these are the ducts that lead from the ovaries to the uterus. they are entirely detached from the glands or ovaries, and are developed on both sides of the body. . office of the fallopian tubes.--the fallopian tubes have a double office: receiving the ova from the ovaries and conducting it into the uterus, as well as receiving the spermatic fluid of the male and conveying it from the uterus in the direction of the ovaries, the tubes being the seat of impregnation. [illustration: ovum.] . sterility in females.--sterility in the female is sometimes caused by a morbid adhesion of the tube to a portion of the ovary. by what power the mouth of the tube is directed toward a particular portion of an ovary, from which the ovum is about to be discharged, remains entirely unknown, as does also the precise nature of the cause which effects this movement. [illustration: ripe ovum from the ovary.] * * * * * the mysteries of the formation of life. . scientific theories.--darwin, huxley, haeckel, tyndall, meyer, and other renowned scientists, have tried to find the _missing link_ between man and animal; they have also exhausted their genius in trying to fathom the mysteries of the beginning of life, or find where the animal and mineral kingdoms unite to form life; but they have added to the vast accumulation of theories only, and the world is but little wiser on this mysterious subject. . physiology.--physiology has demonstrated what physiological changes take place in the germination and formation of life, and how nature expresses the intentions of reproduction by giving animals distinctive organs with certain secretions for this purpose, etc. all the different stages of development can be easily determined, but how and why life takes place under such special condition and under no other, is an unsolved mystery. . ovaries.--the ovaries are the essential parts of the generative system of the human female in which ova are matured. there are two ovaries, one on each side of the uterus, and connected with it by the fallopian tubes. they are egg-shaped, about an inch in diameter, and furnish the germs or ovules. these germs or ovules are very small, measuring about / of an inch in diameter. . development.--the ovaries develop with the growth of the female, so that finally at the period of puberty they ripen and liberate an ovum or germ vesicle, which is carried into the uterine cavity of the fallopian tubes. by the aid of the microscope we find that these ova are composed of granular substance, in which is found a miniature yolk surrounded by a transparent membrane called the zona pellucida. this yolk contains a germinal vesicle in which can be discovered a nucleus, called the germinal spot. the process of the growth of the ovaries is very gradual, and their function of ripening and discharging one ovum monthly into the fallopian tubes and uterus, is not completed until between the twelfth and fifteenth years. . what science knows.--after the sexual embrace we know that the sperm is lifted within the genital passages or portion of the vagina and mouth of the uterus. the time between the deposit of the semen and fecundation varies according to circumstances. if the sperm-cell travels to the ovarium it generally takes from three to five days to make the journey. as dr. pierce says: the transportation is aided by the ciliary processes (little hairs) of the mucous surface of the vaginal and uterine walls, as well as by its own vibratile movements. the action of the cilia, under the stimulus of the sperm, seems to be from without, inward. even if a minute particle of sperm, less than a drop, be left upon the margin of the external genitals of the female, it is sufficient in amount to impregnate, and can be carried, by help of these cilia, to the ovaries. . conception.--after intercourse at the proper time the liability to conception is very great. if the organs are in a healthy condition, conception must necessarily follow, and no amount of prudence and the most rigid precautions often fail to prevent pregnancy. . only one absolutely safe method.--there is only one absolutely safe method to prevent conception, entirely free from danger and injury to health, and one that is in the reach of all; that is to refrain from union altogether. [illustration: a eugenic baby.] * * * * * conception--its limitations. . a common question.--the question is often asked, "can conception be prevented at all times?" let us say right here that even if such an interference with nature's laws were possible it is inadmissible, and never to be justified except in cases of deformity or disease. . false claims of imposters.--during the past few years a great deal has been written on the subject, claiming that new remedies had been discovered for the prevention of conception, etc., but these are all money making devices to deceive the public, and enrich the pockets of miserable and unprincipled imposters. . the truth of the matter.--dr. pancoast, an eminent authority, says: "the truth is, there is no medicine taken internally capable of preventing conception, and the person who asserts to the contrary, not only speaks falsely, but is both a knave and a fool." . foolish dread of children.--what is more deplorable and pitiable than an old couple childless? young people dislike the care and confinement of children and prefer society and social entertainments and thereby do great injustice and injury to their health. having children under proper circumstances never ruins the health and happiness of any woman. in fact, womanhood is incomplete without them. she may have a dozen or more, and still have better health than before marriage. it is having them too close together, and when she is not in a fit state, that her health gives way. . self-denial and forbearance.--if the husband respects his wife he will come to her relief by exercising self-denial and forbearance, but sometimes before the mother has recovered from the effects of bearing, nursing and rearing one child, ere she has regained proper tone and vigor of body and mind, she is unexpectedly overtaken, surprised by the manifestation of symptoms which again indicate pregnancy. children thus begotten cannot become hardy and long-lived. but the love that parents may feel for their posterity, by the wishes for their success, by the hopes for their usefulness, by every consideration for their future well-being, let them exercise caution and forbearance until the wife becomes sufficiently healthy and enduring to bequeath her own rugged, vital stamina to the child she bears in love. . a wrong to the mother and child.--sometimes the mother is diseased; the outlet from the womb, as a result of laceration by a previous child-birth, is frequently enlarged, thus allowing conception to take place very readily, and hence she has children in rapid succession. besides the wrong to the mother in having children in such rapid succession, it is a great injustice to the babe in the womb and the one at the breast that they should follow each other so quickly that one is conceived while the other is nursing. one takes the vitality of the other; neither has sufficient nourishment, and both are started in life stunted and incomplete. . feeble and diseased parents.--if the parties of a marriage are both feeble and so adapted to each other that their children are deformed, insane or idiots, then to beget offspring would be a flagrant wrong; if the mother's health is in such a condition as to forbid the right of laying the burden of motherhood upon her, then medical aid may safely come to her relief. . "the desirability and practicability of limiting offspring," says dr. stockham, are the subject of frequent inquiry. fewer and better children are desired by right-minded parents. many men and women, wise in other things of the world, permit generation as a chance result of copulation, without thought of physical or mental conditions to be transmitted to the child. coition, the one important act of all others, carrying with it the most vital results, is usually committed for selfish gratification. many a drunkard owes his lifelong appetite for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his life could be traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father. physical degeneracy and mental derangements are too often caused by the parents producing offspring while laboring under great mental strain or bodily fatigue. drunkenness and licentiousness are frequently the heritage of posterity. future generations demand that such results be averted by better prenatal influences. the world is groaning under the curse of chance parenthood. it is due to posterity that procreation be brought under the control of reason and conscience. . "it has been feared that a knowledge of means to control offspring would, if generally diffused, be abused by women; that they would to so great an extent escape motherhood as to bring about social disaster. this fear is not well founded. the maternal instinct is inherent and sovereign in woman. even the prenatal influences of a murderous intent on the part of parents scarcely ever eradicate it. with this natural desire for children, we believe few woman would abuse the knowledge of privilege of controlling offspring. although women shrink from forced maternity, and from the bearing of children under the great burden of suffering, as well as other adverse conditions, it is rare to find a woman who is not greatly disappointed if she does not, some time in her life, wear the crown of motherhood. "an eminent lady teacher, in talking to her pupils once said, 'the greatest calamity that can befall a woman is never to have a child. the next greatest calamity is to have one only.' from my professional experience i am happy to testify that more women seek to overcome causes of sterility than to obtain knowledge of limiting the size of the family or means to destroy the embryo. also, if consultation for the latter is sought, it is usually at the instigation of the husband. believing in the rights of unborn children, and in the maternal instinct, i am consequently convinced that no knowledge should be withheld that will secure proper conditions for the best parenthood." . the case of the juke family.--we submit the following case of the juke family, mostly of new york state, as related by dr. r.l. dugdale, when a member of the prison association, and let the reader judge for himself: "it was traced out by painstaking research that from one woman called margaret, who, like topsy, merely 'growed' without pedigree as a pauper in a village of the upper hudson, about eighty-five years ago, there descended children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, of whom were criminals of the dangerous class, adult paupers, and prostitutes, while children of her lineage died prematurely. the last fact proves to what extent in this family nature was kind to the rest of humanity in saving it from a still larger aggregation or undesirable and costly members, for it is estimated that the expense to the state of the descendants of maggie was over a million dollars, and the state itself did something also towards preventing a greater expense by the restrain exercised upon the criminals, paupers, and idiots of the family during a considerable portion of their lives." . moderation.--continence, self-control, a willingness to deny himself--that is what is required from the husband. but a thousand voices reach us from suffering women in all parts of the land that this will not suffice; that men refuse thus to restrain themselves; that it leads to a loss of domestic happiness and to illegal amour, or it is injurious physically and morally; that, in short, such advice is useless because impracticable. . nature's method.--to such we reply that nature herself has provided to some extent, against overproduction. it is well known that women, when nursing, rarely become pregnant, and for this reason, if for no other, women should nurse their own children, and continue the period until the child is at least nine months or a year old. however, the nursing, if continued too long, weakens both the mother and the child. . another provision of nature.--for a certain period between her monthly illness, every woman is sterile. conception may be avoided by refraining from coition except for this particular number of days, and there will be no evasion of natural intercourse, no resort to disgusting practices, and nothing degrading. * * * * * prenatal influences. . definition.--by prenatal influences we mean those temporary operations of the mind or physical conditions of the parents previous to birth, which stamp their impress upon the new life. . three periods.--we may consider this subject as one which naturally divides itself into three periods: the preparation which precedes conception, the mental, moral and physical conditions at the time of conjunction, and the environment and condition of the mother during the period of gestation. . prominent authorities.--a.e. newton says: "numerous facts indicate that offspring may be affected and their tendencies shaped by a great variety of influences, among which moods and influences more or less transient may be included." dr. stall says: "prenatal influences are both subtle and potent, and no amount of wealth or learning or influence can secure exemption from them." dr. john cowan says upon this subject: "the fundamental principles of genius in reproduction are that, through the rightly directed wills of the father and mother, preceding and during antenatal life, the child's form or body, character of mind and purity of soul are formed and established. that in its plastic state, during antenatal life, like clay in the hands of the potter, it can be molded into absolutely any form of body and soul the parents may knowingly desire." . like parents, like children.--it is folly to expect strong and vigorous children from weak and sickly parents, or virtuous offspring from impure ancestry. dr. james foster scott tells us that purity is, in fact, the crown of all real manliness; and the vigorous and robust, who by repression of evil have preserved their sexual potency, make the best husbands and fathers, and they are the direct benefactors for the race by begetting progeny who are not predisposed to sexual vitiation and bodily and mental degeneracy. . blood will tell.--thus we see that prenatal influences greatly modify, if they do not wholly control, inherited tendencies. is it common sense to suppose that a child, begotten when the parents are exhausted from mental or physical overwork, can be as perfect as when the parents are overflowing with the buoyancy of life and health? the practical farmer would not allow a domestic animal to come into his flock or herd under imperfect physical conditions. he understands that while "blood will tell," the temporary conditions of the animals will also tell in the perfections or imperfections of the offspring. . health a legacy.--it is no small legacy to be endowed with perfect health. in begetting children comparatively few people seem to think that any care of concern is necessary to insure against ill-health or poverty of mind. how strange our carelessness and unconcern when these are the groundwork of all comfort and success! how few faces and forms we see which give sign of perfect health. it is just as reasonable to suppose that men and women can squander their fortune and still have it left to bequeath to their children, as that parents can violate organic laws and still retain their own strength and activity. . responsibility of parents.--selden h. tascott says: "ungoverned passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of their children. even untempered religious enthusiasm may beget a fanaticism that can not be restrained within the limits of reason." in view of the preceding statements, what a responsibility rests upon the parents! no step in the process of parentage is unimportant. from the lovers first thought of marriage to the birth of the child, every step of the way should be paved with the snow-white blossoms of pure thought. kindly words and deeds should bind the prospective parents more closely together. not mine and thine, but ours, should be the bond of sympathy. each should be chaste in thought and word and deed as was sir galahad, who went in search of the holy grail, saying: "my strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure." [illustration: dr. hall's syringe. no. gives a whirling spray and no. also whirling spray. price of no. is $ . and of no. , $ . . to readers of this book the publishers will send no. for $ . and no. for $ . postpaid. dr. hall's is larger and made of highest grade red rubber and its action is very effective.] * * * * * vaginal cleanliness. . the above syringes are highly recommended by physicians as vaginal cleansers. they will be found a great relief in health or sickness, and in many cases cure barrenness or other diseases of the womb. . cleanliness.--cleanliness is next to godliness. without cleanliness the human body is more or less defiled and repulsive. a hint to the wise is sufficient. the vagina should be cleansed with the same faithfulness as any other portion of the body. . temperature of the water.--those not accustomed to use vaginal injections would do well to use water milk-warm at the commencement; after this the temperature may be varied according to circumstances. in case of local inflammation use hot water. the indiscriminate use of cold water injections will be found rather injurious than beneficial, and a woman in feeble health will always find warm water invigorating and preferable. . leucorrhoea.--in case of persistent leucorrhoea use the temperature of water from seventy-two to eighty-five degrees fahrenheit. . the cleanser will greatly stimulate the health and spirits of any woman who uses it. pure water injections have a stimulating effect, and it seems to invigorate the entire body. . salt and water injections.--this will cure mild cases of leucorrhoea. add a teaspoonful of salt to a pint and a half of water at the proper temperature. injections may be repeated daily if deemed necessary. . soap and water.--soap and water is a very simple domestic remedy, and will many times afford relief in many diseases of the womb. it seems it thoroughly cleanses the parts. a little borax or vinegar may be used the same as salt water injections. (see no. .) . holes in the tubes.--most of the holes in the tubes of syringes are too small. see that they are sufficiently large to produce thorough cleansing. . injections during the monthly flow.--of course it is not proper to arrest the flow, and the injections will stimulate a healthy action of the organs. the injections may be used daily throughout the monthly flow with much comfort and benefit. if the flow is scanty and painful the injections may be as warm as they can be comfortably borne. if the flowing is immoderate, then cool water may be used. a woman will soon learn her own condition and can act accordingly. . bloom and grace of youth.--the regular bathing of the body will greatly improve woman's beauty. remember that a perfect complexion depends upon the healthy action of all the organs. vaginal injections are just as important as the bath. a beautiful woman must not only be cleanly, but robust and healthy. there can be no perfect beauty without good health. [illustration] [illustration: trying on a new dress.] * * * * * impotence and sterility. . actual impotence during the period of manhood is a very rare complaint, and nature very unwillingly, and only after the absolute neglect of sanitary laws, gives up the power of reproduction. . not only sensual women, but all without exception, feel deeply hurt, and are repelled by the husband whom they may previously have loved dearly, when, after entering the married state, they find that he is impotent. the more inexperienced and innocent they were at the time of marriage, the longer it often is before they find that something is lacking in the husband; but, once knowing this, the wife infallibly has a feeling of contempt and aversion for him though there are many happy families where this defect exists. it is often very uncertain who is the weak one, and no cause for separation should be sought. . unhappy marriages, barrenness, divorces, and perchance an occasional suicide, may be prevented by the experienced physician, who can generally give correct information, comfort, and consolation, when consulted on these delicate matters. . when a single man fears that he is unable to fulfill the duties of marriage, he should not marry until his fear is dispelled. the suspicion of such a fear strongly tends to bring about the very weakness which he dreads. go to a good physician (not to one of those quacks whose advertisements you see in the papers; they are invariably unreliable), and state the case fully and freely. . diseases, malformation, etc., may cause impotence. in case of malformation there is usually no remedy, but in case of disease it is usually within the reach of a skillful physician. . self-abuse and spermatorrhoea produce usually only temporary impotence and can generally be relieved by carrying out the instructions given elsewhere in this book. . excessive indulgences often enfeeble the powers and often result in impotence. dissipated single men, professional libertines, and married men who are immoderate, often pay the penalty of their violations of the laws of nature, by losing their vital power. in such cases of excess there may be some temporary relief, but as age advances the effects of such indiscretion will become more and more manifest. . the condition of sterility in man may arise either from a condition of the secretion which deprives it of its fecundating powers or it may spring from a malformation which prevents it reaching the point where fecundation takes place. the former condition is most common in old age, and is a sequence of venereal disease, or from a change in the structure or functions of the glands. the latter has its origin in a stricture, or in an injury, or in that condition technically known as hypospadias, or in debility. . it can be safely said that neither self-indulgence nor spermatorrhoea often leads to permanent sterility. . it is sometimes, however, possible, even where there is sterility in the male, providing the secretion is not entirely devoid of life properties on part of the husband, to have children, but these are exceptions. . no man need hesitate about matrimony on account of sterility, unless that condition arises from a permanent and absolute degeneration of his functions. . impotence from mental and moral causes often takes place. persons of highly nervous organization may suffer incapacity in their sexual organs. the remedy for these difficulties is rest and change of occupation. . remedies in case of impotence on account of former private diseases, or masturbation, or other causes.--first build up the body by taking some good stimulating tonics. the general health is the most essential feature to be considered, in order to secure restoration of the sexual powers. constipation must be carefully avoided. if the kidneys do not work in good order, some remedy for their restoration must be taken. take plenty of out-door excercise avoid horseback riding or heavy exhaustive work. . food and drinks which weaken desire.--all kinds of food which cause dyspepsia or bring on constipation, diarrhea, or irritate the bowels, alcoholic beverages, or any indigestible compound, has the tendency to weaken the sexual power. drunkards and tipplers suffer early loss of vitality. beer drinking has a tendency to irritate the stomach and to that extent affects the private organs. . coffee.--coffee drank excessively causes a debilitating effect upon the sexual organs. the moderate use of coffee can be recommended, yet an excessive habit of drinking very strong coffee will sometimes wholly destroy vitality. . tobacco.--it is a hygienic and physiological fact that tobacco produces sexual debility and those who suffer any weakness on that source should carefully avoid the weed in all its forms. . drugs which stimulate desire.--there are certain medicines which act locally on the membranes and organs of the male, and the papers are full of advertisements of "lost manhood restored", etc., but in every case they are worthless or dangerous drugs and certain to lead to some painful malady or death. all these patent medicines should be carefully avoided. people who are troubled with any of these ailments should not attempt to doctor themselves by taking drugs, but a competent physician should be consulted. eating rye, corn, or graham bread, oatmeal, cracked wheat, plenty of fruit, etc. is a splendid medicine. if that is not sufficient, then a physician should be consulted. . drugs which moderate desire.--among one of the most common domestic remedies is camphor. this has stood the test for ages. small doses or half a grain in most instances diminishes the sensibility of the organs of sex. in some cases it produces irritation of the bladder. in that case it should be at once discontinued. on the whole a physician had better be consulted. the safest drug among domestic remedies is a strong tea made out of hops. saltpeter, or nitrate of potash, taken in moderate quantities are very good remedies. [illustration] . strictly speaking there is a distinction made between; _impotence_ and _sterility._ _impotence_ is a loss of power to engage in the sexual act and is common to men. it may be imperfection in the male organ or a lack of sufficient sexual vigor to produce and maintain erection. _sterility_ is a total loss of capacity in the reproduction of the species, and is common to women. there are, however, very few causes of barrenness that cannot be removed when the patient is perfectly developed. sterility, in a female, most frequently depends upon a weakness or irritability either in the ovaries or the womb, and anything having a strengthening effect upon either organ will remove the disability. (see page .) . "over-indulgence in intercourse," says dr. hoff, "is sometimes the cause of barrenness; this is usually puzzling to the interested parties, inasmuch as the practices which, in their opinion, should be the source of a numerous progeny, have the very opposite effect. by greatly moderating their ardor, this defect may be remedied." . "napoleon and josephine.--a certain adaptation between the male and female has been regarded as necessary to conception, consisting of some mysterious influence which one sex exerts over the other, neither one, however, being essentially impotent or sterile. the man may impregnate one woman and not another, and the woman will conceive by one man and not by another. in the marriage of napoleon bonaparte and josephine no children were born, but after he had separated from the empress and wedded maria louisa of austria, an heir soon came. yet josephine had children by beauharnais, her previous husband. but as all is not known as to the physical condition of josephine during her second marriage, it cannot be assumed that mere lack of adaptability was the cause of unfruitfulness between them. there may have been some cause that history has not recorded, or unknown to the state of medical science of those days. there are doubtless many cases of apparently causeless unfruitfulness in marriage that even physicians, with a knowledge of all apparent conditions in the parties cannot explain; but when, as elsewhere related in this volume, impregnation by artificial means is successfully practised, it is useless to attribute barrenness to purely psychological and adaptative influences." * * * * * producing boys or girls at will. . can the sexes be produced at will?--this question has been asked in all ages of the world. many theories have been advanced, but science has at last replied with some authority. the following are the best known authorities which this age of science has produced. . the agricultural theory.--the agricultural theory as it may be called, because adopted by farmers, is that impregnation occurring within four days of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl, because the ovum is yet immature; but that when it occurs after the fourth day from its close, gives a boy, because this egg is now mature; whereas after about the eighth day this egg dissolves and passes off, so that impregnation is thereby rendered impossible, till just before the mother's next monthly.--_sexual science._ . queen bees lay female eggs first, and male after wards. so with hens; the first eggs laid after the tread give females, the last males. mares shown the stallion late in their periods drop horse colts rather than fillies.--_napheys._ . if you wish females, give the male at the first sign of heat; if males, at its end.--_prof. thury._ . on twenty-two successive occasions i desired to have heifers, and succeeded in every case. i have made in all twenty-nine experiments, after this method, and succeeded in every one, in producing the sex i desired.--_a swiss breeder._ . this thury plan has been tried on the farms of the emperor of the french with unvarying success. . conception in the first half of the time between the menstrual periods produces females, and males in the latter.--_london lancet._ . intercourse in from two to six days after cessation of the menses produces girls, in from nine to twelve, boys.--_medical reporter._ the most male power and passion creates boys; female girls. this law probably causes those agricultural facts just cited thus: conception right after menstruation give girls, because the female is then the most impassioned; later, boys, because her wanting sexual warmth leaves him the most vigorous. mere sexual excitement, a wild, fierce, furious rush of passion, is not only not sexual vigor, but in its inverse ratio; and a genuine insane fervor caused by weakness; just as a like nervous excitability indicates weak nerves instead of strong. sexual power is deliberate, not wild; cool, not impetuous; while all false excitement diminishes effectiveness.--_fowler._ [illustration: healthy children.] * * * * * abortion or miscarriage. . abortion or miscarriage is the expulsion of the child from the womb previous to six months; after that it is called premature birth. . causes.--it may be due to a criminal act of taking medicine for the express purpose of producing miscarriage or it may be caused by certain medicines, severe sickness or nervousness, syphilis, imperfect semen, lack of room in the pelvis and abdomen, lifting, straining, violent cold, sudden mental excitement, excessive sexual intercourse, dancing, tight lacing, the use of strong purgative medicines, bodily fatigue, late suppers, and fashionable amusements. . symptoms.--a falling or weakness and uneasiness in the region of the loins, thighs and womb, pain in the small of the back, vomiting and sickness of the stomach, chilliness with a discharge of blood accompanied with pain in the lower portions of the abdomen. these may take place in a single hour, or it may continue for several days. if before the fourth month, there is not so much danger, but the flow of blood is generally greater. if miscarriage is the result of an accident, it generally takes place without much warning, and the service of a physician should at once be secured. . home treatment.--a simple application of cold water externally applied will produce relief, or cold cloths of ice, if convenient, applied to the lower portions of the abdomen. perfect quiet, however, is the most essential thing for the patient. she should lie on her back and take internally a teaspoonful of paregoric every two hours; drink freely of lemonade or other cooling drinks, and for nourishment subsist chiefly on chicken broth, toast, water gruel, fresh fruits, etc. the principal homeopathic remedies for this disease are ergot and cimicifuga, given in drop-doses of the tinctures. . injurious effects.--miscarriage is a very serious difficulty, and the health and the constitution may be permanently impaired. any one prone to miscarriage should adopt every measure possible to strengthen and build up the system; avoid going up stairs or doing much heavy lifting or hard work. . prevention.--practice the laws of sexual abstinence, take frequent sitz-baths, live on oatmeal, graham bread, and other nourishing diet. avoid highly seasoned food, rich gravies, late suppers and the like. [illustration] [illustration: an indian family. the savage indian teaches us lessons of civilization.] * * * * * the murder of the innocents. . many causes.--many causes have operated to produce a corruption of the public morals so deplorable; prominent among which may be mentioned the facility with which divorces may be obtained in some of the states, the constant promulgation of false ideas of marriage and its duties by means of books, lectures, etc., and the distribution through the mails of impure publications. but an influence not less powerful than any of these is the growing devotion of fashion and luxury of this age, and the idea which practically obtains to so great an extent that pleasure, instead of the health or morals, is the great object of life. . a monstrous crime.--the abiding interest we feel in the preservation of the morals of our country, constrains us to raise our voice against the daily increasing practice of infanticide, especially before birth. the notoriety that monstrous crime has obtained of late, and the hecatombs of infants that are annually sacrificed to moloch, to gratify an unlawful passion, are a sufficient justification for our alluding to a painful and delicate subject, which should "not even be named," only to correct and admonish the wrong-doers. . localities in which it is most prevalent.--we may observe that the crying sin of infanticide is most prevalent in those localities where the system of moral education has been longest neglected. this inhuman crime might be compared to the murder of the innocents, except that the criminals, in this case, exceed in enormity the cruelty of herod. . shedding innocent blood.--if it is a sin to take away the life even of an enemy; if the crime of shedding innocent blood cries to heaven for vengeance; in what language can we characterize the double guilt of those whose souls are stained with the innocent blood of their own unborn, unregenerated offspring? . the greatness of the crime.--the murder of an infant before its birth, is, in the sight of god and the law, as great a crime as the killing of a child after birth. . legal responsibility.--every state of the union has made this offense one of the most serious crimes. the law has no mercy for the offenders that violate the sacred law of human life. it is murder of the most cowardly character and woe to him who brings this curse upon his head, to haunt him all the days of his or her life, and to curse him at the day of his death. . the product of lust.--lust pure and simple. the only difference between a marriage of this character and prostitution is, that society, rotten to its heart, pulpits afraid to cry aloud against crime and vice, and the church conformed to the world, have made such a profanation of marriage respectable. to put it in other words, when two people determine to live together as husband and wife, and evade the consequences and responsibilities of marriage, they are simply engaged in prostitution without the infamy which attaches to that vice and crime. . outrageous violation of all law.--the violation of all law, both natural and revealed, is the cool and villainous contract by which people entering into the marital relation engage in defiance of the laws of god and the laws of the commonwealth, that they shall be unencumbered with a family of children. "disguise the matter as you will," says dr. pomeroy, "yet the fact remains that the first and specific object of marriage is the rearing of a family." "be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth," is god's first word to adam after his creation. . the national sin.--the prevention of offspring is preeminently the sin of america. it is fast becoming the national sin of america, and if it is not checked, it will sooner or later be an irremediable calamity. the sin has its roots in a low and perverted idea of marriage, and is fostered by false standards of modesty. . the sin of herod.--do these same white-walled sepulchres of hell know that they are committing the damning sin of herod in the slaughter of the innocents, and are accessories before the fact to the crime of murder? do women in all circles of society, when practicing these terrible crimes realize the real danger? do they understand that it is undermining their health, and their constitution, and that their destiny, if persisted in, is a premature grave just as sure as the sun rises in the heavens? let all beware and let the first and only purpose be, to live a life guiltless before god and man. . the crime of abortion.--from the moment of conception a new life commences; a new individual exists; another child is added to the family. the mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life, either by want of care, or by taking drugs, or using instruments, commits as great a crime, and is just as guilty as if she strangled her new-born infant or as if she snatched from her own breast her six months' darling and dashed out its brains against the wall. its blood is upon her head, and as sure as there is a god and a judgment, that blood will be required of her. the crime she commits is murder, child murder--the slaughter of a speechless, helpless being, whom it is her duty, beyond all things else, to cherish and preserve. . dangerous diseases.--we appeal to all such with earnest and with threatening words. if they have no feeling for the fruit of their womb, if maternal sentiment is so callous in their breasts, let them know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent and, dangerous womb diseases, and frequently of early death; that they bring on mental weakness, and often insanity; that they are the most certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted. better, far better, to bear a child every year for twenty years than to resort to such a wicked and injurious step; better to die, if need be, of the pangs of child-birth, than to live with such a weight of sin on the conscience. * * * * * the unwelcome child.[footnote: this is the title of a pamphlet written by henry c. wright. we have taken some extracts from it.] . too often the husband thinks only of his personal gratification; he insists upon what he calls his rights(?); forces on his wife an _unwelcome child_, and thereby often alienates her affections, if he does not drive her to abortion. dr stockham reports the following case: "a woman once consulted me who was the mother of five children, all born within ten years. these were puny, scrofulous, nervous and irritable. she herself was a fit subject for doctors and drugs. every organ in her body seemed diseased, and every function perverted. she was dragging out a miserable existence. like other physicians, i had prescribed in vain for her many maladies. one day she chanced to inquire how she could safely prevent conception. this led me to ask how great was the danger. she said: 'unless my husband is absent from home, few nights have been exempt since we were married, except it may be three or four immediately after confinement.' "'and yet your husband loves you?' "'o, yes, he is kind and provides for his family. perhaps i might love him but for this. while now--(will god forgive me?)--_i detest, i loathe him_, and if i knew how to support myself and children, i would leave him.' "'can you talk with him upon this subject?' "'i think i can.' "'then there is hope, for many women cannot do that. tell him i will give you treatment to improve your health and if he will wait until you can respond, _take time for the act, have it entirely mutual from first to last_, the demand will not come so frequent.' "'do you think so?' "'the experience of many proves the truth of this statement.' "hopefully she went home, and in six months i had the satisfaction of knowing my patient was restored to health, and a single coition in a month gave the husband more satisfaction than the many had done previously, that the creative power was under control, and that my lady could proudly say 'i love,' where previously she said 'i hate.' "if husbands will listen, a few simple instructions will appeal to their _common sense_, and none can imagine the gain to themselves, to their wives and children, and their children's children. then it may not be said of the babes that the 'death borders on their birth, and their cradle stands in the grave.'" . wives! be frank and true to your husbands on the subject of maternity, and the relation that leads to it. interchange thoughts and feelings with them as to what nature allows or demands in regard to these. can maternity be natural when it is undesigned by the father or undesired by the mother? can a maternity be natural, healthful, ennobling to the mother, to the child, to the father, and to the home, when no loving, tender, anxious forethought presides over thee relation in which it originated?--when the mother's nature loathed and repelled it, and the father's only thought was his own selfish gratification; the feelings and conditions of the mother, and the health, character and destiny of the child that may result being ignored by him. wives! let there be a perfect and loving understanding between you and your husbands on these matters, and great will be your reward. . a woman writes:--"there are few, vary few, wives and mothers who could not reveal a sad, dark picture in their own experience in their relations to their husbands and their children. maternity, and the relation in which it originates, are thrust upon them by their husbands, often without regard to their spiritual or physical conditions, and often in contempt of their earnest and urgent entreaties. no joy comes to their heart at the conception and birth of their children, except that which arises from the consciousness that they have survived the sufferings wantonly and selfishly inflicted upon them." . husband, when maternity is imposed on your wife without her consent, and contrary to her appeal, how will her mind necessarily be affected towards her child? it was conceived in dread and in bitterness of spirit. every stage of its foetal development is watched with feeling of settled repugnance. in every step of its ante-natal progress the child meets only with grief and indignation in the mother. she would crush out its life, if she could. she loathed its conception; she loathed it in every stage of its ante-natal development. instead of fixing her mind on devising ways and means for the healthful and happy organization and development of her child before it is born, and for its post natal comfort and support, her soul may be intent on its destruction, and her thoughts devise plans to kill it. in this, how often is she aided by others! there are those, and they are called men and women, whose profession is to devise ways to kill children before they are born. those who do this would not hesitate (but for the consequences) to kill them after they are born, for the state of mind that would justify and instigate _ante-natal_ child-murder would justify and instigate _post-natal_ child-murder. yet, public sentiment consigns the murderer of post-natal children to the dungeon or the gallows, while the murderers of antenatal children are often allowed to pass in society as honest and honorable men and women. . the following is an extract from a letter written by one who has proudly and nobly filled the station of a wife and mother, and whose children and grandchildren surround her and crown her life with tenderest love and respect: "it has often been a matter of wonder to me that men should, so heedlessly, and so injuriously to themselves, their wives and children, and their homes, demand at once, as soon as they get legal possession of their wives, the gratification of a passion, which, when indulged merely for the sake of the gratification of the moment, must end in the destruction of all that is beautiful, noble and divine in man or woman. i have often felt that i would give the world for a friendship with man that should show no impurity in its bearing, and for a conjugal relation that would, at all times, heartily and practically recognize the right of the wife to decide for herself when she should enter into the relation that leads to maternity." . timely advice.--here let me say that on no subject should a man and woman, as they are being attracted into conjugal relations, be more open and truthful with each other than on this. no woman, who would save herself and the man she loves from a desecrated and wretched home, should enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until she understands what he expects of her as to the function of maternity, and the relation that leads to it. if a woman is made aware that the man who would win her as a wife regards her and the marriage relation only as the means of a legalized gratification of his passions, and she sees fit to live with him as a wife, with such a prospect before her, she must take the consequences of a course so degrading and so shameless. if she sees fit to make an offering of her body and soul on the altar of her husband's sensuality, she must do it; but she has a right to know to what base uses her womanhood is to be put, and it is due to her, as well as to himself, that he should tell beforehand precisely what he wants and expects of her. too frequently, man shrinks from all allusion, during courtship, to his expectations in regard to future passional relations. he fears to speak of them, lest he should shock and repel the woman he would win as a wife. being conscious, it may be, of an intention to use power he may acquire over her person for his own gratification, he shuns all interchange of views with her, lest she should divine the hidden sensualism of his soul, and his intention to victimize her person to it the moment he shall get the license. a woman had better die at once than enter into or continue in marriage with a man whose highest conception of the relation is, that it is a means of licensed animal indulgence. in such a relation, body and soul are sacrificed. . one distinctive characteristic of a true and noble husband is a feeling of manly pride in the physical elements of his manhood. his physical manhood, as well as his soul, is dear to the heart of his wife, because through this he can give the fullest expression of his manly power. how can you, my friend, secure for your person the loving care and respect of your wife? there is but one way: so manifest yourself to her, in the hours of your most endearing intimacies, that all your manly power shall be associated only with all that is generous, just and noble in you, and with purity, freedom and happiness in her. make her feel that all which constitutes you a man, and qualifies you to be her husband and the father of her children, belongs to her, and is sacredly consecrated to the perfection and happiness of her nature. do this, and the happiness of your home is made complete your _body_ will be lovingly and reverently cared for, because the wife of your bosom feels that it is the sacred symbol through which a noble, manly love is ever speaking to her, to cheer and sustain her. . woman is ever proud, and justly so, of the manly passion of her husband, when she knows it is controlled by a love for her, whose manifestations have regard only to her elevation and happiness. the power which, when bent only on selfish indulgence, becomes a source of more shame, degradation, disease and wretchedness, to women and to children than all other things put together, does but ennoble her, add grace and glory to her being, and concentrate and vitalize the love that encircles her as a wife when it is controlled by wisdom and consecrated to her highest growth and happiness, and that of her children. it lends enchantment to her person, and gives a fascination to her smiles, her words and her caresses, which ever breathe of purity and of heaven, and make her all lovely as a wife and mother to her husband and the father of her child. _manly passion is to the conjugal love of the wife like the sun to the rose-bud, that opens its petals, and causes them to give out their sweetest fragrance and to display their most delicate tints; or like the frost, which chills and kills it ere it blossoms in its richness and beauty._ . a diadem of beauty.--maternity, when it exists at the call of the wife, and is gratefully received, but binds her heart more tenderly and devotedly to her husband. as the father of her child, he stands before her invested with new beauty and dignity. in receiving from him the germ of a new life, she receives that which she feels is to add new beauty and glory to her as a woman--a new grace and attraction to her as a wife. she loves and honors him, because he has crowned her with the glory of a mother. maternity, to her, instead of being repulsive, is a diadem of beauty, a crown of rejoicing; and deep, tender, and self-forgetting are her love and reverence for him who has placed it on her brow. how noble, how august, how beautiful is maternity when thus bestowed and received! . conclusion.--would you, then, secure the love and trust of your wife, and become an object of her ever-growing tenderness and reverence? assure her, by all your manifestations, and your perfect respect for the functions of her nature, that your passion shall be in subjection of her wishes. it is not enough that you have secured in her heart respect for your spiritual and intellectual manhood. to maintain your self-respect in your relations with her, to perfect your growth and happiness as a husband, you must cause your _physical_ nature to be tenderly cherished and reverenced by her in all the sacred intimacies of home. no matter how much she reverences your intellectual or your social power, if by reason of your uncalled-for passional manifestations you have made your physical manhood disagreeable, how can you, in her presence, preserve a sense of manly pride and dignity as a husband? [illustration] * * * * * health and disease. heredity and the transmission of diseases. . bad habits.--it is known that the girl who marries the man with bad habits, is, in a measure, responsible for the evil tendencies which these habits have created in the children; and young people are constantly warned of the danger in marrying when they know they come from families troubled with chronic diseases or insanity. to be sure the warnings have had little effect thus far in preventing such marriages, and it is doubtful whether they will, unless the prophecy of an extremist writing for one of our periodicals comes to pass--that the time is not far distant when such marriages will be a crime punishable by law. . tendency in the right direction.--that there is a tendency in the right direction must be admitted, and is perhaps most clearly shown in some of the articles on prison reform. many of them strongly urge the necessity of preventive work as the truest economy, and some go so far as to say that if the present human knowledge of the laws of heredity were acted upon for a generation, reformatory measures would be rendered unnecessary. . serious consequences.--the mother who has ruined her health by late hours, highly-spiced food, and general carelessness in regard to hygienic laws, and the father who is the slave of questionable habits, will be very sure to have children either mentally or morally inferior to what they might otherwise have had a right to expect. but the prenatal influences may be such that evils arising from such may be modified to a great degree. . formation of character.--i believe that pre-natal influences may do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after, and that the mother may, in a measure, "will" what that influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, it will be more and more under their control. in that, as in everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the other. . inheriting disease. consumption--that dread foe of modern life--is the most frequently encountered of all affections as the result of inherited predispositions. indeed, some of the most eminent physicians have believed it is never produced in any other way. heart disease, disease of the throat, excessive obesity, affections of the skin, asthma, disorders of the brain and nervous system, gout, rheumatism and cancer, are all hereditary. a tendency to bleed frequently, profusely and uncontrollably, from trifling wounds, is often met with as a family affection. . mental derangements.--almost all forms of mental derangements are hereditary--one of the parents or near relation being afflicted. physical or bodily weakness is often hereditary, such as scrofula, gout, rheumatism, rickets, consumption, apoplexy, hernia, urinary calculi, hemorrhoids or piles, cataract, etc. in fact, all physical weakness, if ingrafted in either parent, is transmitted from parents to offspring, and is often more strongly marked in the latter than in the former. . marks and deformities.--marks and deformities are all transmissible from parents to offspring, equally with diseases and peculiar proclivities. among such blemishes may be mentioned moles, hair-lips, deficient or supernumerary fingers, toes, and other characteristics. it is also asserted that dogs and cats that have accidentally lost their tails, bring forth young similarly deformed. blumenbach tells of a man who had lost his little finger, having children with the same deformity. . caution.--taking facts like these into consideration, how very important is it for persons, before selecting partners for life, to deliberately weigh every element and circumstances of this nature, if they would insure a felicitous union, and not entail upon their posterity disease, misery and despair. alas! in too many instances matrimony is made a matter of money, while all earthly joys are sacrificed upon the accursed altars of lust and mammon. [illustration: outdoor sports good training for morals as well as health.] * * * * * preparation for maternity. . woman before marriage.--it is not too much to say that the life of women before marriage ought to be adjusted with more reference to their duties as mothers than to any other one earthly object. it is the continuance of the race which is the chief purpose of marriage. the passion of amativeness is probably, on the whole, the most powerful of all human impulses. its purpose, however, is rather to subserve the object of continuing the species, than merely its own gratification. . exercise.--girls should be brought up to live much in the open air, always with abundant clothing against wet and cold. they should be encouraged to take much active exercise; as much, if they; want to, as boys. it is as good for little girls to run and jump, to ramble in the woods, to go boating, to ride and drive, to play and "have fun" generally, as for little boys. . preserve the sight.--children should be carefully prevented from using their eyes to read or write, or in any equivalent exertion, either before breakfast, by dim daylight, or by artificial light. even school studies should be such that they can be dealt with by daylight. lessons that cannot be learned without lamp-light study are almost certainly excessive. this precaution should ordinarily be maintained until the age of puberty is reached. . bathing.--bathing should be enforced according to constitutions, not by an invariable rule, except the invariable rule of keeping clean. not necessarily every day, nor necessarily in cold water; though those conditions are doubtless often right in case of abundant physical health and strength. . wrong habits.--the habit of daily natural evacuations should be solicitously formed and maintained. words or figures could never express the discomforts and wretchedness which wrong habits in this particular have locked down upon innumerable women for years and even for life. . dress.--dress should be warm, loose, comely, and modest rather than showy; but it should be good enough to satisfy a child's desires after a good appearance, if they are reasonable. children, indeed, should have all their reasonable desires granted as far as possible; for nothing makes them reasonable so rapidly and so surely as to treat them reasonably. . tight lacing.--great harm is often done to maidens for want of knowledge in them, or wisdom and care in their parents. the extremes of fashions are very prone to violate not only taste, but physiology. such cases are tight lacing, low necked dresses, thin shoes, heavy skirts. and yet, if the ladies only knew, the most attractive costumes are not the extremes of fashion, but those which conform to fashion enough to avoid oddity, which preserve decorum and healthfulness, whether or no; and here is the great secret of successful dress--vary fashion so as to suit the style of the individual. . courtship and marriage.--last of all, parental care in the use of whatever influence can be exerted in the matter of courtship and marriage. maidens, as well as youths, must, after all, choose for themselves. it is their own lives which they take in their hands as they enter the marriage state, and not their parents; and as the consequences affect them primarily it is the plainest justice that with the responsibility should be joined the right of choice. the parental influence, then, must be indirect and advisory. indirect, through the whole bringing up of their daughter; for if they have trained her aright, she will be incapable of enduring a fool, still more a knave. . a young woman and a young man had better not be alone together very much until they are married.--this will be found to prevent a good many troubles. it is not meant to imply that either sex, or any member of it, is worse than another, or bad at all, or anything but human. it is simply the prescription of a safe general rule. it is no more an imputation than the rule that people had better not be left without oversight in presence of large sums of other folks' money. the close personal proximity of the sexes is greatly undesirable before marriage. kisses and caresses are most properly the monopoly of wives. such indulgences have a direct and powerful physiological effect. nay, they often lead to the most fatal results. . ignorance before marriage.--at some time before marriage those who are to enter into it ought to be made acquainted with some of the plainest common-sense limitations which should govern their new relations to each other. ignorance in such matters has caused an infinite amount of disgust, pain and unhappiness. it is not necessary to specify particulars here; see other portions of this work. [illustration: a healthy mother.] * * * * * impregnation. . conception or impregnation.--conception or impregnation takes place by the union of the male sperm and female sperm. whether this is accomplished in the ovaries, the oviducts or the uterus, is still a question of discussion and investigation by physiologists. . passing off the ovum.--"with many women," says dr. stockham in her tokology, "the ovum passes off within twenty-four or forty-eight hours after menstruation begins. some, by careful observation, are able to know with certainty when this takes place. it is often accompanied with malaise, nervousness, headache or actual uterine pain. a minute substance like the white of an egg, with a fleck of blood in it, can frequently be seen upon the clothing. ladies who have noticed this phenomenon testify to its recurring very regularly upon the same day after menstruation. some delicate women have observed it as late as the fourteenth day." . calculations.--conception is more liable to take place either immediately before or immediately after the period, and, on that account it is usual when calculating the date at which to expect labor, to count from the day of disappearance of the last period. the easiest way to make a calculation is to count back three months from the date of the last period and add seven days; thus we might say that the date was the th of july; counting back brings us to the th of april, and adding the seven days will bring us to the th day of april, the expected time. . evidence of conception.--very many medical authorities, distinguished in this line, have stated their belief that women never pass more than two or three days at the most beyond the forty weeks conceded to pregnancy--that is two hundred and eighty days or ten lunar months, or nine calendar months and a week. about two hundred and eighty days will represent the average duration of pregnancy, counting from the last day of the last period. now it must be borne in mind, that there are many disturbing elements which might cause the young married woman to miss a time. during the first month of pregnancy there is no sign by which the condition may be positively known. the missing of a period, especially in a person who has, been regular for some time, may lead one to suspect it; but there are many attendant causes in married life, the little annoyances of household duties, embarrassments, and the enforced gayety which naturally surrounds the bride, and these should all be taken into consideration in the discussion as to whether or not she is pregnant. but then, again, there are some rare cases who have menstruated throughout their pregnancy, and also cases where menstruation was never established and pregnancy occurred. nevertheless, the non-appearance of the period, with other signs, may be taken as presumptive evidence. . "artificial impregnation".--it may not be generally known that union is not essential to impregnation; it is possible for conception to occur without congress. all that is necessary is that seminal animalcules enter the womb and unite there with the egg or ovum. it is not essential that the semen be introduced through the medium of the male organ, as it has been demonstrated repeatedly that by means of a syringe and freshly obtained and healthy semen, impregnation can be made to follow by its careful introduction. there are physicians in france who make a specialty of "artificial impregnation," as it is called, and produce children to otherwise childless couples, being successful in many instances in supplying them as they are desired. * * * * * signs and symptoms of pregnancy. . the first sign.--the first sign that leads a lady to suspect that she is pregnant is her ceasing-to-be-unwell. this, provided she has just before been in good health, is a strong symptom of pregnancy; but still there must be others to corroborate it. . abnormal condition.--occasionally, women menstruate during the entire time of gestation. this, without doubt, is an abnormal condition, and should be remedied, as disastrous consequences may result. also, women have been known to bear children who have never menstruated. the cases are rare of pregnancy taking place where menstruation has never occurred, yet it frequently happens that women never menstruate from one pregnancy to another. in these cases this symptom is ruled out for diagnotic purposes. . may proceed from other causes.--but a ceasing-to-be-unwell may proceed from other causes than that of pregnancy such as disease or disorder of the womb or of other organs of the body--especially of the lungs--it is not by itself alone entirely to be depended upon; although, as a single sign, it is, especially if the patient be healthy, one of the most reliable of all the other signs of pregnancy. [illustration: embryo of twenty days, laid open: _b_, the back; _a a a_ covering, and pinned to back.] . morning sickness.--if this does not arise from a disordered stomach, it is a trustworthy sign of pregnancy. a lady who has once had morning-sickness can always for the future distinguish it from each and from every other sickness; it is a peculiar sickness, which no other sickness can simulate. moreover, it is emphatically a morning-sickness--the patient being, as a rule, for the rest of the day entirely free from sickness or from the feeling of sickness. . a third symptom.--a third symptom is shooting, throbbing and lancinating pains in, and enlargement of the breasts, with soreness of the nipples, occurring about the second month. in some instances, after the first few months, a small quantity of watery fluid or a little milk, may be squeezed out or them. this latter symptom, in a first pregnancy, is valuable, and can generally be relied on as fairly conclusive of pregnancy. milk in the breast, however small it may be in quantity, especially in a first pregnancy, is a reliable sign, indeed, we might say, a certain sign, of pregnancy. . a dark brown areola or mark around the nipple is one of the distinguishing signs of pregnancy--more especially of a first pregnancy. women who have had large families, seldom, even when they are not pregnant, lose this mark entirely; but when they are pregnant it is more intensely dark--the darkest brown--especially if they be brunettes. . quickening.--quickening is one of the most important signs of pregnancy, and one of the most valuable, as at the moment it occurs, as a rule, the motion of the child is first felt, whilst, at the same time, there is a sudden increase in the size of the abdomen. quickening is a proof that nearly half the time of pregnancy has passed. if there be liability to miscarry, quickening makes matters more safe, as there is less likelihood of a miscarriage after than before it. a lady at this time frequently feels faint or actually faints away; she is often giddy, or sick, or nervous, and in some instances even hysterically; although, in rare cases, some women do not even know the precise time when they quicken. . increased size and hardness of the abdomen.--this is very characteristic of pregnancy. when a lady is not pregnant the abdomen is soft and flaccid; when she is pregnant, and after she has quickened, the abdomen; over the region of the womb, is hard and resisting. [illustration: embryo at thirty days _a_, the head; _b_, the eyes; _d_ the neck; _e_, the chest; _f_, the abdomen.] . excitability of mind.--excitability of mind is very common in pregnancy, more especially if the patient be delicate; indeed, excitability is a sign of debility, and requires plenty of good nourishment, but few stimulants. . eruptions on the skin.--principally on the face, neck, or throat, are tell-tales of pregnancy, and to an experienced matron, publish the fact that an acquaintance thus marked is pregnant. . the foetal heart.--in the fifth month there is a sign which, if detected, furnishes indubitable evidence of conception, and that is the sound of the child's heart. if the ear be placed on the abdomen, over the womb, the beating of the foetal heart can sometimes be heard quite plainly, and by the use of an instrument called the stethoscope, the sounds can be still more plainly heard. this is a very valuable sign, inasmuch as the presence of the child is not only ascertained, but also its position, and whether there are twins or more. [illustration: baby elizabeth, brought into the world by the "twilight sleep" method. it robs child bearing of most of its terrors.] * * * * * diseases of pregnancy. . costive state of the bowels.--a costive state of the bowels is common in pregnancy; a mild laxative is therefore occasionally necessary. the mildest must be selected, as a strong purgative is highly improper, and even dangerous. calomel and all other preparations of mercury are to be especially avoided, as a mercurial medicine is apt to weaken the system, and sometimes even to produce a miscarriage. let me again urge the importance of a lady, during the whole period of pregnancy, being particular as to the state of her bowels, as costiveness is a fruitful cause of painful, tedious and hard labors. . laxatives.--the best laxatives are caster oil, salad oil, compound rhubarb pills, honey, stewed prunes, stewed rhubarb, muscatel raisins, figs, grapes, roasted apples, baked pears, stewed normandy pippins, coffee, brown-bread and treacle. scotch oatmeal made with new milk or water, or with equal parts of milk and water. . pills.--when the motions are hard, and when the bowels are easily acted upon, two, or three, or four pills made of castile soap will frequently answer the purpose; and if they will, are far better than any other ordinary laxative. the following is a good form. take of: castile soap, five scruples; oil of caraway, six drops; to make twenty-four pills. two, or three, or four to be taken at bedtime, occasionally. . honey.--a teaspoonful of honey, either eaten at breakfast or dissolved in a cup of tea, will frequently, comfortably and effectually, open the bowels, and will supersede the necessity of taking laxative medicine. . nature's medicines.--now, nature's medicines--exercise in the open air, occupation, and household duties--on the contrary, not only at the time open the bowels, but keep up a proper action for the future; her--their inestimable superiority. . warm water injections.--an excellent remedy for costiveness of pregnancy is an enema, either of warm water, or of castile soap and water, which the patient, by means of a self-injecting enema-apparatus, may administer to herself. the quantity of warm water to be used, is from half a pint to a pint; the proper heat is the temperature of new milk; the time for administering it is early in the morning, twice or three times a week. . muscular pains of the abdomen.--the best remedy is an abdominal belt constructed for pregnancy, and adjusted with proper straps and buckles to accomodate the gradually increasing size of the womb. this plan often affords great comfort and relief; indeed, such a belt is indispensably necessary. . diarrhea.--although the bowels in pregnancy are generally costive, they are sometimes in an opposite state, and are relaxed. now, this relaxation is frequently owing to there having been prolonged constipation, and nature is trying to relieve herself by purging. do not check it, but allow it to have its course, and take a little rhubarb or magnesia. the diet should be simple, plain, and nourishing, and should consist of beef tea, chicken broth, arrow-root, and of well-made and well-boiled oatmeal gruel. butcher's meat, for a few days, should not be eaten; and stimulants of all kinds must be avoided. . fidgets.--a pregnant lady sometimes suffers severely from "fidgets"; it generally affects her feet and legs, especially at night, so as to entirely destroy her sleep; she cannot lie still; she every few minutes moves, tosses and tumbles about--first on one side, then on the other. the causes of "fidgets" are a heated state of the blood; an irritable condition of the nervous system, prevailing at that particular time; and want of occupution. the treatment of "fidgets" consists of: sleeping in a well-ventilated apartment, with either window or door open; a thorough ablution of the whole body every morning, and a good washing with tepid water of the face, neck, chest, arms and hands every night; shunning hot and close rooms; taking plenty of out-door exercise; living on a bland, nourishing, put not rich diet; avoiding meat at night, and substituting in lieu thereof, either a cupful of arrow-root made with milk, or of well-boiled oatmeal gruel. . exercise.--if a lady, during the night, have the "fidgets," she should get out of bed; take a short walk up and down the room, being well protected by a dressing-gown; empty her bladders turn, her pillow, so as to have the cold side next the head; and then lie down again; and the chances are that she will now fall asleep. if during the day she have the "fidgets," a ride in an open carriage; or a stroll in the garden, or in the fields; or a little housewifery, will do her good, and there is nothing like fresh air, exercise, and occupation to drive away "the fidgets." . heartburn.--heartburn is a common and often a distressing symptom of pregnancy. the acid producing the heartburn is frequently much increased by an overloaded stomach. an abstemious diet ought to be strictly observed. great attention should be paid to the quality of the food. greens, pastry, hot buttered toast, melted butter, and everything that is rich and gross, ought to be carefully avoided. either a teaspoonful of heavy calcined magnesia, or half a teaspoonful of carbonate of soda--the former to be preferred if there be constipation--should occasionally be taken in a wine-glassful of warm water. if these do not relieve--the above directions as to diet having been strictly attended to--the following mixture ought to be tried. take of: carbonate of ammonia, half a drachm; bicarbonate of soda, a drachm and a half; water, eight ounces; to make a mixture: two tablespoonfuls to be taken twice or three times a day, until relief be obtained. . wind in the stomach and bowels.--this is a frequent reason why a pregnant lady cannot sleep at night. the two most frequent causes of flatulence are, first, the want of walking exercise during the day, and second, the eating of a hearty meal just before going to bed at night. the remedies are, of course, in each instance, self-evident. . swollen legs from enlarged veins (varicose veins.)--the veins are frequently much enlarged and distended, causing the legs to be greatly swollen and very painful, preventing the patient from taking proper walking exercise. swollen legs are owing to the pressure of the womb upon the blood-vessels above. women who have had large families are more liable than others to varicose veins. if a lady marry late in life, or if she be very heavy in pregnancy carrying the child low down she is more likely to have distention of the veins. the best plan will be for her to wear during the day an elastic stocking, which ought to be made on purpose for her, in order that it may properly fit the leg and foot. . stretching of the skin of the abdomen. this is frequently, in a first pregnancy, distressing, from the soreness it causes. the best remedy is to rub the abdomen, every night and morning, with warm camphorated oil, and to wear a belt during the day and a broad flannel bandage at night, both of which should be put on moderately but comfortably tight. the belt must be secured in its situation by means of properly adjusted straps. . before the approach of labor.--the patient, before the approach of labor, ought to take particular care to have the bowels gently opened, as during that state a costive state greatly increases her sufferings, and lengthens the period of her labor. a gentle action is all that is necessary; a violent one would do more harm than good. . swollen and painful breasts. the breasts are, at times, during pregnancy, much swollen and very painful; and, now and then, they; cause the patient great uneasiness, as she fancies that she is going to have either some dreadful tumor or a gathering of the bosom. there need, in such a case, be no apprehension. the swelling and the pain are the consequences of the pregnancy, and will in due time subside without any unpleasant result. for treatment she cannot do better than rub them well, every night and morning, with equal parts of eau de cologne and olive oil, and wear a piece of new flannel over them; taking care to cover the nipples with soft linen, as the friction of the flannel might irritate them. . bowel complaints. bowel complaints, during pregnancy, are not unfrequent. a dose either of rhubarb and magnesia, or of castor oil, are the best remedies, and are generally, in the way of medicine, all that is necessary. . cramps. cramps of the legs and of the thighs during the latter period, and especially at night, are apt to attend pregnancy, and are caused by the womb pressing upon the nerves which extend to the lower extremities. treatment. tightly tie a handkerchief, folded like a neckerchief, round the limb a little above the part affected, and let it remain on for a few minutes. friction by means of the hand either with opodeldoc or with laudanum, taking care not to drink the lotion by mistake, will also give relief. . the whites. the whites during pregnancy, especially during the latter months, and particularly if the lady have had many children, are frequently troublesome, and are, in a measure, occasioned by the pressure of the womb on the parts below, causing irritation. the best way, therefore, to obviate such pressure is for the patient to lie down a great part of each day either on a bed or a sofa. she ought to retire early to rest: she should sleep on a hair mattress and in a well ventilated apartment, and should not overload her bed with clothes. a thick, heavy quilt at these times, and indeed at all times, is particularly objectionable; the perspiration cannot pass readily through it as through blankets, and thus she is weakened. she ought to live on plain, wholesome, nourishing food; and she must abstain from beer and wine and spirits. the bowels ought to be gently opened by means of a seidlitz powder, which should occasionally be taken early in the morning. [illustration: a precious flower.] . irritation and itching of the external parts.--this is a most troublesome affection, and may occur at any time, but more especially during the latter period of the pregnancy. let her diet be simple and nourishing; let her avoid stimulants of all kinds. let her take a sitz-bath of warm water, considerably salted. let her sit in the bath with the body thoroughly covered. . hot and inflamed.--the external parts, and the passage to the womb (vagina), in these cases, are not only irritable and itching, but are sometimes hot and inflamed, and are covered either with small pimples, or with a whitish exudation of the nature of aphtha (thrush), somewhat similar to the thrush on the mouth of an infant; then, the addition of glycerine to the lotion is a great improvement and usually gives much relief. . biliousness[footnote: some of these valuable suggestions are taken from "parturition without pain," by dr. m.l. holbrook.] is defined by some one as piggishness. generally it may be regarded as _overfed_. the elements of the bile are in the blood in excess of the power of the liver to eliminate them. this may be caused either from the superabundance of the materials from which the bile is made or by inaction of the organ itself. being thus retained the system is _clogged_. it is the result of either too much food in quantity or too rich in quality. especially is it caused by the excessive use of _fats and sweets_. the simplest remedy is the best. a plain, light diet with plenty of acid fruits, avoiding fats and sweets, will ameliorate or remove it. don't force the appetite. let hunger demand food. in the morning the sensitiveness of the stomach may be relieved by taking before rising a cup of hot water, hot milk, hot lemonade, rice or barley water, selecting according to preference. for this purpose many find coffee made from browned wheat or corn the best drink. depend for a time upon liquid food that can be taken up by absorbents. the juice of lemons and other acid fruits is usually grateful, and assists in assimilating any excess in nutriment. these may be diluted according to taste. with many, an egg lemonade proves relishing and acceptable. . deranged appetite.--where the appetite fails, let the patient go without eating for a little while, say for two or three meals. if, however, the strength begins to go, try the offering of some unexpected delicacy; or give small quantities of nourishing food, as directed in case of morning sickness. . piles.--for cases of significance consult a physician. as with constipation, so with piles, its frequent result, fruit diet, exercise, and sitz-bath regimen will do much to prevent the trouble. frequent local applications of a cold compress, and even of ice, and tepid water injections, are of great service. walking or standing aggravate this complaint. lying down alleviates it. dr. shaw says, "there is nothing in the world that will produce so great relief in piles as fasting. if the fit is severe, live a whole day, or even two, if necessary, upon pure soft cold water alone. give then very lightly of vegetable food." . toothache.--there is a sort of proverb that a woman loses one tooth every time she has a child. neuralgic toothache during pregnancy is, at any rate, extremely common, and often has to be endured. it is generally thought not best to have teeth extracted during pregnancy, as the shock to the nervous system has sometimes caused miscarriage. to wash out the mouth morning and night with cold or lukewarm water and salt is often of use. if the teeth are decayed, consult a good dentist in the early stages of pregnancy, and have the offending teeth properly dressed. good dentists, in the present state of the science, extract very few teeth, but save them. . salivation.--excessive secretion of the saliva has usually been reckoned substantially incurable. fasting, cold water treatment, exercise and fruit diet may be relied on to prevent, cure or alleviate it, where this is possible, as it frequently is. . headache.--this is, perhaps, almost as common in cases of pregnancy as "morning sickness." it may be from determination of blood to the head, from constipation or indigestion, constitutional "sick headache," from neuralgia, from a cold, from rheumatism. correct living will prevent much headache trouble; and where this does not answer the purpose, rubbing and making magnetic passes over the head by the hand of some healthy magnetic person will often prove of great service. . liver-spots.--these, on the face, must probably be endured, as no trustworthy way of driving them off is known. . jaundice.--see the doctor. . pain on the right side.--this is liable to occur from about the fifth to the eighth month, and is attributed to the pressure of the enlarging womb upon the liver. proper living is most likely to alleviate it. wearing a wet girdle in daytime or a wet compress at night, sitz-baths, and friction with the wet hand may also be tried. if the pain is severe a mustard poultice may be used. exercise should be carefully moderated if found to increase the pain. if there is fever and inflammation with it, consult a physician. it is usually not dangerous, but uncomfortable only. . palpitation of the heart.--to be prevented by healthy living and calm, good humor. lying down will often gradually relieve it, so will a compress wet with water, as hot as can be borne, placed over the heart and renewed as often as it gets cool. . fainting.--most likely to be caused by "quickening," or else by tight dress, bad air, over-exertion, or other unhealthy living. it is not often dangerous. lay the patient in an easy posture, the head rather low than high, and where cool air may blow across the face; loosen the dress if tight; sprinkle cold water on the face and hands. . sleeplessness.--most likely to be caused by incorrect living, and to be prevented and cured by the opposite. a glass or two of cold water drank deliberately on going to bed often helps one to go to sleep; so does bathing the face and hands and the feet in cold water. a short nap in the latter part of the forenoon can sometimes be had, and is of use. such a nap ought not to be too long, or it leaves a heavy feeling; it should be sought with the mind in a calm state, in a well-ventilated though darkened room, and with the clothing removed, as at night. a similar nap in the afternoon is not so good, but is better than nothing. the tepid sitz-bath on going to bed will often produce sleep, and so will gentle percussion given by an attendant with palms of the hand over the back for a few minutes on retiring. to secure sound sleep do not read, write or severely tax the mind in the evening. * * * * * morning sickness. . a pregnant woman is especially liable to suffer many forms of dyspepsia, nervous troubles, sleeplessness, etc. . morning sickness is the most common and is the result of an irritation in the womb, caused by some derangement, and it is greatly irritated by the habit of indulging in sexual gratification during pregnancy. if people would imitate the lower animals and reserve the vital forces of the mother for the benefit of her unborn child, it would be a great boon to humanity. morning sickness may begin the next day after conception, but it usually appears from two to three weeks after the beginning of pregnancy and continues with more or less severity from two to four months. . home treatment for morning sickness.--avoid all highly seasoned and rich food. also avoid strong tea and coffee. eat especially light and simple suppers at five o'clock and no later than six. some simple broths, such as will be found in the cooking department of this book will be very nourishing and soothing. coffee made from brown wheat or corn is an excellent remedy to use. the juice of lemons reduced with water will sometimes prove very effectual. a good lemonade with an egg well stirred is very nourishing and toning to the stomach. . hot fomentation on the stomach and liver is excellent, and warm and hot water injections are highly beneficial. . a little powdered magnesia at bed time, taken in a little milk, will often give almost permanent relief. . avoid corsets or any other pressure upon the stomach. all garments must be worn loosely. in many cases this will entirely prevent all stomach disturbances. * * * * * relation of husband and wife during pregnancy. . miscarriage.--if the wife is subject to miscarriage every precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again. under such exceptional circumstances the husband should sleep apart the first five months of pregnancy; after that length of time, the ordinary relation may be assumed. if miscarriage has taken place, intercourse should be avoided for a month or six weeks at least after the accident. . impregnation.--impregnation is the only mission of intercourse, and after that has taken place, intercourse can subserve no other purpose than sensual gratification. . woman must judge.--every man should recognize the fact that woman is the sole umpire as to when, how frequent, and under what circumstances, connection should take place. her desires should not be ignored, for her likes and dislikes are--as seen in another part of this book--easily impressed upon the unborn child. if she is strong and healthy there is no reason why passion should not be gratified with moderation and caution during the whole period of pregnancy, but she must be the sole judge and her desires supreme. . voluntary instances.--no voluntary instances occur through the entire animal kingdom. all females repel with force and fierceness the approaches of the male. the human family is the only exception. a man that loves his wife, however, will respect her under all circumstances and recognize her condition and yield to her wishes. * * * * * a private word to the expectant mother. elizabeth cady stanton, in a lecture to ladies, thus strongly states her views regarding maternity and painless childbirth: "we must educate our daughters to think that motherhood is grand, and that god never cursed it. and this curse, if it be a curse, may be rolled off, as man has rolled away the curse of labor; as the curse has been rolled from the descendants of ham. my mission is to preach this new gospel. if you suffer, it is not because you are cursed of god, but because you violate his laws. what an incubus it would take from woman could she be educated to know that the pains of maternity are no curse upon her kind. we know that among the indians the squaws do not suffer in childbirth. they will step aside from the ranks, even on the march, and return in a short time to them with the new-born child. what an absurdity then, to suppose that only enlightened christian women are cursed. but one word of fact is worth a volume of philosophy; let me give you some of my own experience. i am the mother of seven children. my girlhood was spent mostly in the open air. i early imbibed the idea that a girl was just as good as a boy, and i carried it out. i would walk five miles before breakfast or ride ten on horseback. after i was married i wore my clothing sensibly. their weight hung entirely on my shoulders. i never compressed my body out of its natural shape. when my first four children were born, i suffered very little. i then made up my mind that it was totally unnecessary for me to suffer at all; so i dressed lightly, walked every day, lived as much as possible in the open air, ate no condiments or spices, kept quiet, listened to music, looked at pictures, and took proper care of myself. the night before the birth of the child i walked three miles. the child was born without a particle of pain. i bathed it and dressed it, and it weighed ten and one-half pounds. that same day i dined with the family. everybody said i would surely die, but i never had a relapse or a moment's inconvenience from it. i know this is not being delicate and refined, but if you would be vigorous and healthy, in spite of the diseases of your ancestors, and your own disregard of nature's laws, try it." * * * * * shall pregnant women work? . over-worked mothers.--children born of over-worked mothers, are liable to a be dwarfed and puny race. however, their chances are better than those of the children of inactive, dependent, indolent mothers who have neither brain nor muscle to transmit to son or daughter. the truth seems to be that excessive labor, with either body or mind, is alike injurious to both men and women; and herein lies the sting of that old curse. this paragraph suggests all that need be said on the question whether pregnant women should or should not labor. . foolishly idle.--at least it is certain that they should not be foolishly idle; and on the other hand, it is equally certain that they should be relieved from painful laborious occupations that exhaust and unfit them for happiness. pleasant and useful physical and intellectual occupation, however, will not only do no harm, but positive good. . the best man and the best woman.--the best man is he who can rear the best child, and the best woman is she who can rear the best child. we very properly extol to the skies harriet hosmer, the artist, for cutting in marble the statue of a zenobia; how much more should we sing praises to the man and the woman who bring into the world a noble boy or girl. the one is a piece of lifeless beauty, the other a piece of life including all beauty, all possibilities. [illustration] * * * * * words for young mothers. the act of nursing is sometimes painful to the mother, especially before the habit is fully established. the discomfort is greatly increased if the skin that covers the nipples is tender and delicate. the suction pulls it off leaving them in a state in which the necessary pressure of the child's lips cause intense agony. this can be prevented in a great measure, says elizabeth robinson scovil, in _ladies' home journal_, if not entirely, by bathing the nipples twice a day for six weeks before the confinement with powdered alum dissolved in alcohol; or salt dissolved in brandy. if there is any symptom of the skin cracking when the child begins; to nurse, they should be painted with a mixture of tannin and glycerine. this must be washed off before the baby touches them and renewed when it leaves them. if they are very painful, the doctor will probably order morphia added to the mixture. a rubber nipple shield to be put on at the time of nursing, is a great relief. if the nipples are retracted or drawn inward, they can be drawn out painlessly by filling a pint bottle with boiling water, emptying it and quickly applying the mouth over the nipple. as the air in the bottle cools, it condenses, leaving a vacuum and the nipple is pushed out by the air behind it. when the milk accumulates or "cakes" in the breast in hard patches, they should be rubbed very gently, from the base upwards, with warm camphorated oil. the rubbing should be the lightest, most delicate stroking, avoiding pressure. if lumps appear at the base of the breast and it is red swollen and painful, cloths wrung out of cold water should be applied and the doctor sent for. while the breast is full and hard all over, not much apprehension need be felt. it is when lumps appear that the physician should be notified, that he may, if possible, prevent the formation of abscesses. while a woman is nursing she should eat plenty of nourishing food--milk, oatmeal, cracked wheat, and good juicy, fresh meat, boiled, roasted, or broiled, but not fried. between each meal, before going to bed, and once during the night, she should take a cup of cocoa, gruel made with milk; good beef tea, mutton broth, or any warm, nutritive drink. tea and coffee are to be avoided. it is important to keep the digestion in order and the bowels should be carefully regulated as a means to this end. if necessary, any of the laxative mineral waters can be used for this purpose, or a teaspoonful of compound licorice powder taken at night. powerful cathartic medicines should be avoided because of their effect upon the baby. the child should be weaned at nine months old, unless this time comes in very hot weather, or the infant is so delicate that a change of food would be injurious. if the mother is not strong her nurseling will sometimes thrive better upon artificial food than on its natural nourishment. by gradually lengthening the interval between the nursing and feeding the child, when it is hungry, the weaning can be accomplished without much trouble. a young mother should wear warm underclothing, thick stockings and a flannel jacket over her night dress, unless she is in the habit of wearing an under vest. if the body is not protected by warm clothing there is an undue demand upon the nervous energy to keep up the vital heat, and nerve force is wasted by the attempt to compel the system to do what ought to be done for it by outside means. [illustration] * * * * * how to have beautiful children. . parental influence.--the art of having handsome children has been a question that has interested the people of all ages and of all nationalities. there is no longer a question as to the influence that parents may and do exert upon their offspring, and it is shown in other parts of this book that beauty depends largely on the condition of health at the time of conception. it is therefore of no little moment that parents should guard carefully their own health as well as that of their children, that they may develop a vigorous constitution. there cannot be beauty without good health. . marrying too early.--we know that marriage at too early an age, or too late in life, is apt to produce imperfectly developed children, both mentally and physically. the causes are self-evident: a couple marrying too young, they lack maturity and consequently will impart weakness to their offspring; while on the other hand persons marrying late in life fail to find that normal condition which is conducive to the health and vigor of offspring. . crossing of temperaments and nationalities.--the crossing of temperaments and nationalities beautifies offspring. if young persons of different nationalities marry, their children under proper hygienic laws are generally handsome and healthy. for instance, an american and german or an irish and german uniting in marriage, produces better looking children than those marrying in the same nationality. persons of different temperaments uniting in marriage, always produces a good effect upon offspring. . the proper time.--to obtain the best results, conception should take place only when both parties are in the best physical condition. if either parent is in any way indisposed at the time of conception the results will be seen in the health of the child. many children brought in the world with diseases or other infirmities stamped upon their feeble frames show the indiscretion and ignorance of parents. . during pregnancy.--during pregnancy the mother should take time for self improvement and cultivate an interest for admiring beautiful pictures or engravings which represent cheerful and beautiful figures. secure a few good books illustrating art, with some fine representations of statues and other attractive pictures. the purchase of several illustrated an journals might answer the purpose. . what to avoid.--pregnant mothers should avoid thinking of ugly people, or those marked by any deformity or disease; avoid injury, fright and disease of any kind. also avoid ungraceful position and awkward attitude, but cultivate grace and beauty in herself. avoid difficulty with neighbors or other trouble. . good care.--she should keep herself in good physical condition, and the system well nourished, as a want of food always injures the child. . the improvement of the mind.--the mother should read suitable articles in newspapers or good books, keep her mind occupied. if she cultivates a desire for intellectual improvement, the same desire will be more or less manifested in the growth and development of the child. . like produces like, everywhere and always--in general forms and in particular features--in mental qualities and in bodily conditions--in tendencies of thought and in habits of action. let this grand truth be deeply impressed upon the hearts of all who desire or expect to become parents. . heredity.--male children generally inherit the peculiar traits and diseases of the mother and female children those of the father. . advice.--therefore it is urged that during the period of utero-gestation, especial pains should be taken to render the life of the female as harmonious as possible, that her surroundings should all be of a nature calculated to inspire the mind with thoughts of physical and mental beauties and perfections, and that she should be guarded against all influences, of whatever character, having a deteriorative tendency. [illustration] [illustration: the beautiful butterfly.] * * * * * education of the child in the womb. "a lady once interviewed a prominent college president and asked him when the education of a child should begin. 'twenty-five years before it is born,' was the prompt reply." no better answer was ever given to that question every mother may well consider it. . the unborn child affected by the thoughts and the surroundings of the mother.--that the child is affected in the womb of the mother, through the influences apparently connected with objects by which she is surrounded, appears to have been well known in ancient days, as well as at the present time. . evidences.--many evidences are found in ancient history, especially among the refined nations, showing that certain expedients were resorted to by which their females, during the period of utero-gestation, were surrounded by the superior refinements of the age, with the hope of thus making upon them impressions which should have the effect of communicating certain desired qualities to the offspring. for this reason apartments were adorned with statuary and paintings, and special pains were taken not only to convey favorable impressions, but also to guard against unfavorable ones being made, upon the mind of the pregnant woman. . hankering after gin.--a certain mother while pregnant, longed for gin, which could not be gotten; and her child cried incessantly for six weeks till gin was given it, which it eagerly clutched and drank with ravenous greediness, stopped crying, and became healthy. . begin to educate children at conception, and continue during their entire carriage. yet maternal study, of little account before the sixth, after it, is most promotive of talents; which, next to goodness are the father's joy and the mother's pride. what pains are taken after they are born, to render them prodigies of learning, by the best of schools and teachers from their third year; whereas their mother's study, three months before their birth, would improve their intellects infinitely more. . mothers, does god thus put the endowment of your darlings into your moulding power? then tremble in view of its necessary responsibilities, and learn how to wield them for their and your temporal and eternal happiness. [illustration] . qualities of the mind.--the qualities of the mind are perhaps as much liable to hereditary transmission as bodily configuration. memory, intelligence, judgment, imagination, passions, diseases, and what is usually called genius, are often very markedly traced in the offspring.--i have known mental impressions forcibly impressed upon the offspring at the time of conception, as concomitant of some peculiar eccentricity, idiosyncrasy, morbidness, waywardness, irritability, or proclivity of either one or both parents. . the plastic brain.--the plastic brain of the foetus is prompt to receive all impressions. it retains them, and they become the characteristics of the child and the man. low spirits, violent passions, irritability, frivolity, in the pregnant woman, leave indelible marks on the unborn child. . formation of character.--i believe that pre-natal influences may do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after, and that mothers may, in a measure, "will," what that influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, it will be more and more under their control. in that, as in everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the other. . a historical illustration.--a woman rode side by side with her soldier husband, and witnessed the drilling of troops for battle. the scene inspired her with a deep longing to see a battle and share in the excitements of the conquerors. this was but a few months before her boy was born, and his name was napoleon. . a musician.--the following was reported by dr. f.w. moffatt, in the mother's own language, "when i was first pregnant, i wished my offspring to be a musician, so, during the period of that pregnancy, settled my whole mind on music, and attended every musical entertainment i possibly could. i had my husband, who has a violin, to play for me by the hour. when the child was born, it was a girl, which grew and prospered, and finally became an expert musician." . murderous intent.--the mother of a young man, who was hung not long ago, was heard to say: "i tried to get rid of him before he was born; and, oh, how i wish now that i had succeeded!" she added that it was the only time she had attempted anything of the sort; but, because of home troubles, she became desperate, and resolved that her burdens should not be made any greater. does it not seem probable that the murderous intent, even though of short duration, was communicated to the mind of the child, and resulted in the crime for which he was hung? . the assassin of garfield.--guiteau's father was a man of integrity and conquerable intellectual ability. his children were born in quick succession, and the mother was obliged to work very hard. before this child was born, she resorted to every means, though unsuccessful, to produce abortion. the world knows the result. guiteau's whole life was full of contradictions. there was little self-controlling power in him; no common sense, and not a vestige or remorse or shame. in his wild imagination, he believed himself capable of doing the greatest work and of filling the loftiest station in life. who will dare question that this mother's effort to destroy him while in embryo was the main cause in bringing him to the level of the brutes? . caution.--any attempt, on the part of the mother, to destroy her child before birth, is liable, if unsuccessful, to produce murderous tendencies. even harboring murderous thoughts, whether toward her own child or not, might be followed by similar results. "the great king of kings hath in the table of his law commanded that thou shall do no murder. wilt thou, then, spurn at his edict, and fulfill a man's? take heed, for he holds vengeance in his hand to hurl upon their heads that break his law." --richard iii., _act i._ [illustration: the embryo in sixty days.] * * * * * how to calculate the time of expected labor. . the table on the opposite page has been very accurately compiled, and will be very helpful to those who desire the exact time. . the duration of pregnancy is from to days, or nearly forty weeks. the count should be made from the beginning of the last menstruation, and add eight days on account of the possibility of it occurring within that period. the heavier the child the longer is the duration; the younger the woman the longer time it often requires. the duration is longer in married than in unmarried women; the duration is liable to be longer if the child is a female. . movement.--the first movement is generally felt on the th day after impregnation. . growth of the embryo.--about the twentieth day the embryo resembles the appearance of an ant or lettuce seed; the th day the embryo is as large as a common horse fly; the th day the form resembles that of a person; in sixty days the limbs begin to form, and in four months the embryo takes the name of foetus. . children born after seven or eight months can survive and develop to maturity. [illustration: duration of pregnancy.] directions.--find in the upper horizontal line the date on which the last menstruation ceased; the figure beneath gives the date of expected confinement ( days). jan. oct. jan. oct. nov. feb. nov. feb. nov. dec. mar. dec. mar. dec. jan. apr. jan. apr. jan. feb. may feb. may feb. mar. june mar. june mar. apr. july apr. july apr. may aug. may aug. may june sep. june sep. june july oct. july oct. july aug. nov. aug. nov. aug. sep. dec. sep. dec. sep. oct. [illustration: if menstruation ceased oct. , the confinement will take place july .] * * * * * the signs and symptoms of labor. . although the majority of patients, a day or two before the labor comes on, are more bright and cheerful, some few are more anxious, fanciful, fidgety and reckless. . a few days, sometimes a few hours, before labor commences, the child "falls" as it is called; that is to say, there is a subsidence--a dropping--of the womb lower down the abdomen. this is the reason why she feels lighter and more comfortable, and more inclined to take exercise, and why she can breathe more freely. . the only inconvenience of the dropping of the womb is, that the womb presses more on the bladder, and sometimes causes an irritability of that organ, inducing a frequent desire to make water. the wearing the obstetric belt, as so particularly enjoined in previous pages, will greatly mitigate this inconvenience. . the subsidence--the dropping--of the womb may then be considered one of the earliest of the precursory symptoms of child-birth, and as the herald of the coming event. . she has, at this time, an increased moisture of the vagina--the passage leading to the womb--and of the external parts. she has, at length, slight pains, and then she has a "show," as it is called; which is the coming away of a mucous plug which, during pregnancy, had hermetically sealed up the mouth of the womb. the "show" is generally tinged with a little blood. when a "show" takes place, she may rest assured that labor has actually commenced. one of the early symptoms of labor is a frequent desire to relieve the bladder. . she ought not, on any account, unless it be ordered by the medical man, to take any stimulant as a remedy for the shivering. in case of shivering or chills, a cup either of hot lea or of hot gruel will be the best remedy for the shivering; and an extra blanket or two should be thrown over her, and be well tucked around her, in order to thoroughly exclude the air from the body. the extra clothing, as soon as she is warm and perspiring, should be gradually removed, as she ought not to be kept very hot, or it will weaken her, and will thus retard her labor. . she must not, on any account, force down--as her female friends or as a "pottering" old nurse may advise--to "grinding pains"; if sue does, it will rather retard than forward her labor. . during this stage, she had better walk about or sit down, and not confine herself to bed; indeed, there is no necessity for her, unless she particularly desire it, to remain in her chamber. . after an uncertain length of time, the pains alter in character. from being "grinding" they become "bearing down," and more regular and frequent, and the skin becomes both hot and perspiring. these may be considered the true labor-pains. the patient ought to bear in mind then that "true labor-pains" are situated in the back, and loins; they come on at regular intervals, rise gradually up to a certain pitch of intensity, and abate as gradually; it is a dull, heavy, deep sort of pain, producing occasionally a low moan from the patient; not sharp or twinging, which would elicit a very different expression of suffering from her. . labor--and truly it maybe called, "labor." the fiat has gone forth that in "sorrow thou shalt bring forth children." young, in his "night thoughts," beautifully expresses the common lot of women to suffer: "'tis the common lot; in this shape, or in that, has fate entailed the mother's throes on all of women born, not more the children than sure heirs of pain." [illustration] [illustration: love of home.] * * * * * special safeguards in confinement. . before the confinement takes place everything should be carefully arranged and prepared. the physician should be spoken to and be given the time as near as can be calculated. the arrangement of the bed, bed clothing, the dress for the mother and the expected babe should be arranged for convenient and immediate use. . a bottle of sweet oil, or vaseline, or some pure lard should be in readiness. arrangements should be made for washing all soiled garments, and nothing by way of soiled rags or clothing should be allowed to accumulate. . a rubber blanket, or oil or waterproof cloth should be in readiness to place underneath the bottom sheet to be used during labor. . as soon as labor pains have begun a fire should be built and hot water kept ready for immediate use. the room should be kept well ventilated and comfortably warm. . no people should be allowed in or about the room except the nurse, the physician, and probably members of the family when called upon to perform some duty. . during labor no solid food should be taken; a little milk, broth or soup may be given, provided there is an appetite. malt or spirituous liquors should be carefully avoided. a little wine, however, may be taken in case of great exhaustion. lemonade, toast, rice water, and tea may be given when desired. warm tea is considered an excellent drink for the patient at this time. . when the pains become regular and intermit, it is time that the physician is sent for. on the physician's arrival he will always take charge of the case and give necessary instructions. . in nearly all cases the head of the child is presented first. the first pains are generally grinding and irregular, and felt mostly in the groins and within, but as labor progresses the pains are felt in the abdomen, and as the head advances there is severe pain in the back and hips and a disposition to bear down, but no pressure should be placed upon the abdomen of the patient; it is often the cause of serious accidents. nature will take care of itself. . conversation should be of a cheerful character, and all allusions to accidents of other child births should be carefully avoided. . absence of physician.--in case the child should be born in the absence of the physician, when the head is born receive it in the hand and support it until the shoulders have been expelled, and steady the whole body until the child is born. support the child with both hands and lay it as far from the mother as possible without stretching the cord. remove the mucus from the nostrils and mouth, wrap the babe in warm flannel, make the mother comfortable, give her a drink, and allow the child to remain until the pulsations in the cord have entirely ceased. after the pulsations have entirely ceased then sever the cord. use a dull pair of scissors, cutting it about two inches from the child's navel, and generally no time is necessary, and when the physician comes he will give it prompt attention. . if the child does not breathe at its arrival, says dr. stockham in her celebrated tokology, a little slapping on the breast and body will often produce respiration, and if this is not efficient, dash cold water on the face and chest; if this fails then close the nostrils with two fingers, breathe into the mouth and then expel the air from the lungs by gentle pressure upon the chest. continue this as long as any hope of life remains. . after-birth.--usually contractions occur and the after-birth is readily expelled; if not, clothes wrung out in hot water laid upon the bowels will often cause the contraction of the uterus, and the expulsion of the after-birth. . if the cord bleeds severely inject cold water into it. this in many cases removes the after-birth. . after the birth of the child give the patient a bath, if the patient is not too exhausted, change the soiled quilts and clothing, fix up everything neat and clean and let the patient rest. let the patient drink weak tea, gruel, cold or hot water, whichever she chooses. . after the birth of the baby, the mother should be kept perfectly quiet for the first hours and not allowed to talk or see anyone except her nearest relations, however well she may seem. she should not get out of bed for ten days or two weeks, nor sit up in bed for nine days. the more care taken of her at this time, the more rapid will be her recovery when she does get about. she should go up and down stairs slowly, carefully, and as seldom as possible for six weeks. she should not stand more than is unavoidable during that time, but sit with her feet up and lie down when she has time to rest. she should not work a sewing machine with a treadle for at least six weeks, and avoid any unusual strain or over-exertion. "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," and carefulness will be well repaid by a perfect restoration to health. [illustration] [illustration: my priceless jewel. what will be his fate in life?] * * * * * where did the baby come from? where did you come from, baby dear? out of the everywhere into here. where did you get the eyes so blue? out of the sky, as i came through. where did you get that little tear? i found it waiting when i got here. what makes your forehead so smooth and high? a soft hand stroked it as i went by. what makes your cheek like a warm, white rose? i saw something better than anyone knows. whence that three-cornered smile of bliss? three angels gave me at once a kiss. where did you get this pretty ear? god spoke, and it came out to hear. where did you get those arms and hands? love made itself into hooks and bands. feet whence did you come, you darling things? from the same box as the cherub's wings. how did they all come just to be you? god thought of me, and so i grew. but how did you come to us, you dear? god thought about you, and so i am here. --george macdonald. * * * * * child bearing without pain. how to dress, diet and exercise in pregnancy. . ailments.--those ailments to which pregnant women are liable are mostly inconveniences rather than diseases, although they may be aggravated to a degree of danger. no patent nostrums or prescriptions are necessary. if there is any serious difficulty the family physician should be consulted. . comfort.--wealth and luxuries are not a necessity. comfort will make the surroundings pleasant. drudgery, overwork and exposure are the three things that tend to make women miserable while in the state of pregnancy, and invariably produce irritable, fretful and feeble children. dr. stockham says in her admirable work "tokology:" "the woman who indulges in the excessive gayety of fashionable life, as well as the overworked woman, deprives her child of vitality. she attends parties in a dress that is unphysiological in warmth, distribution and adjustment, in rooms badly ventilated; partakes of a supper of indigestible compounds, and remains into the 'wee, sma' hours,' her nervous system taxed to the utmost." . exercise.--a goodly amount of moderate exercise is a necessity, and a large amount of work may be accomplished if prudence is properly exercised. it is overwork, and the want of sufficient rest and sleep that produces serious results. . dresses.--a pregnant woman should make her dresses of light material and avoid surplus trimmings. do not wear anything that produces any unnecessary weight. let the clothing be light but sufficient in quantity to produce comfort in all kinds of weather. . garments.--it is well understood that the mother must breathe for two, and in order to dress healthily the garments should be worn loose, so as to give plenty of room for respiration. tight clothes only cause disease, or produce frailty or malformation in the offspring. . shoes.--wear a large shoe in pregnancy; the feet may swell and untold discomfort may be the result. get a good large shoe with a large sole. give the feet plenty of room. many women suffer from defects in vision, indigestion, backache, loss of voice, headache, etc., simply as the result of the reflex action of the pressure of tight shoes. . lacing.--many women lace themselves to the first period of their gestation in order to meet their society engagements. all of this is vitally wrong and does great injury to the unborn child as well as to inflict many ills and pains upon the mother. . corsets.--corsets should be carefully avoided, for the corset more than any other one thing is responsible for making woman the victim of more woes and diseases than all other causes put together. about one-half the children born in this country die before they are five years of age, and no doubt this terrible mortality is largely due to this instrument of torture known as the _modern corset._ tight lacing is the cause of infantile mortality. it slowly but surely takes the lives of tens of thousands, and so effectually weakens and diseases, so as to cause the untimely death of millions more. . bathing.--next to godliness is cleanliness. a pregnant woman should take a sponge or towel-bath two or three times a week. it stimulates and invigorates the entire body. no more than two or three minutes are required. it should be done in a warm room, and the body rubbed thoroughly after each bathing. . the hot sitz-bath.--this bath is one of the most desirable and healthful baths for pregnant women. it will relieve pain or acute inflammation, and will be a general tonic in keeping the system in a good condition. this may be taken in the middle of the forenoon or just before retiring, and if taken just before retiring will produce invigorating sleep, will quiet the nerves, cure headache, weariness, etc. it is a good plan to take this bath every night before retiring in case of any disorders. a woman who keeps this tip during the period of gestation will have a very easy labor and a strong, vigorous babe. . hot fomentations.--applying flannel cloths wrung out of simple or medicated hot water is a great relief for acute suffering, such as neuralgia, rheumatic pain, biliousness, constipation, torpid liver, colic, flatulency, etc. . the hot water-bag.--the hot water-bag serves the same purpose as hot fomentations, and is much more convenient. no one should go through the period of gestation without a hot water-bag. . the cold compress.--this is a very desirable and effectual domestic remedy. take a towel wrung from cold water and apply it to the affected parts; then cover well with several thicknesses of flannel. this is excellent in cases of sore throat, hoarseness, bronchitis, inflammation of the lungs, croup, etc. it is also excellent for indigestion, constipation or distress of the bowels accompanied by heat. . diet.--the pregnant woman should eat nutritious, but not stimulating or heating food, and eat at the regular time. avoid drinking much while eating. . avoid salt, pepper and sweets as much as possible. . eat all kinds of grains, vegetables and fruits, and avoid salted meat, but eat chicken, steak, fish, oysters, etc. . the woman who eats indiscriminately anything and everything the same as any other person, will have a very painful labor and suffer many ills that could easily be avoided by more attention being paid to the diet. with a little study and observation a woman will soon learn what to eat and what to avoid. [illustration: _nature versus corsets illustrated_ a. the ribs of large curve; the lungs large and roomy; the liver, stomach and bowels in their normal position; all with abundant room. b. the ribs bent almost to angles; the lungs contracted; the liver, stomach and intestines forced down into the pelvis, crowding the womb seriously.] . the above cuts are given on page ; we repeat them here for the benefit of expectant mothers who may be ignorant of the evil effects of the corset. displacement of the womb, interior irritation and inflammation, miscarriage and sterility, are some of the many injuries of tight lacing. there are many others, in fact their name is legion, and every woman who has habitually worn a corset and continues to wear it during the early period of gestation must suffer severely during childbirth. [illustration: _"the house we live in" for nine months: showing the ample room provided by nature when uncontracted by inherited inferiority of form or artificial dressing._] [illustration: _a contracted pelvis. deformity and insufficient space._] . this is what dr. stockham says: "if women had _common sense_, instead of _fashion sense_, the corset would not exist. there are not words in the english language to express my convictions upon this subject. the corset more than any other one thing is responsible for woman's being the victim of disease and doctors.... "what is the effect upon the child? one-half of the children born in this country die before they are five years of age. who can tell how much this state of things is due to the enervation of maternal life forces by the one instrument of torture? "i am a temperance woman. no one can realize more than i the devastation and ruin alcohol in its many tempting forms has brought to the human family. still i solemnly believe that in weakness and deterioration of health, the corset has more to answer for than intoxicating drinks." when asked how far advanced a woman should be in pregnancy before she laid aside her corset, dr. stockham said with emphasis: "_the corset should not be worn for two hundred years before pregnancy takes place._ ladies, it will take that time at least to overcome the ill-effect of tight garments which you think so essential." . painless pregnancy and child-birth.--"some excellent popular volumes," says dr. haff, "have been largely devoted to directions how to secure a comfortable period of pregnancy and painless delivery. after much conning of these worthy efforts to impress a little common sense upon the sisterhood, we are convinced that all may be summed up under the simple heads of: ( ) an unconfined and lightly burdened waist; ( ) moderate but persistent outdoor exercise, of which walking is the best form; ( ) a plain unstimulating, chiefly fruit and vegetable diet; ( ) little or no intercourse during the time. "these are hygienic rules of benefit under any ordinary conditions; yet they are violated by almost every pregnant lady. if they are followed, biliousness, indigestion, constipation, swollen limbs, morning sickness and nausea--all will absent themselves or be much lessened. in pregnancy more than at any other time, corsets are injurious. the waist and abdomen must be allowed to expand freely with the growth of the child. the great process of _evolution_ must have room." . in addition, we can do no better than quote the following recapitulation by dr. stockham in her famous tokology: "to give a woman the greatest immunity from suffering during pregnancy, prepare her for a safe and comparatively easy delivery, and insure a speedy recovery, all hygienic conditions must be observed. "the dress must give: " . freedom of movement; " . no pressure upon any part of the body; " . no more weight than is essential for warmth, and both weight and warmth evenly distributed. "these requirements necessitate looseness, lightness and warmth, which can be obtained from the union underclothes, a princess skirt and dress, with a shoe that allows full development and use of the foot. while decoration and elegance are desirable, they should not sacrifice comfort and convenience. . "let the diet be light, plain and nutritious. avoid fats and sweets, relying mainly upon fruits and grain that contain little of the mineral salts. by this diet bilious and inflammatory conditions are overcome, the development of bone in the foetus lessened, and muscles necessary in labor nourished and strengthened. . "exercise should be sufficient and of such a character as will bring into action gently every muscle of the body; but must particularly develop the muscles of the trunk, abdomen and groin, that are specially called into action in labor. exercise, taken faithfully and systematically, more than any other means assists assimilative processes and stimulates the organs of excretion to healthy action. . "bathing must be frequent and regular. unless in special conditions the best results are obtained from tepid or cold bathing, which invigorates the system and overcomes nervousness. the sitz-bath is the best therapeutic and hygienic measure within the reach of the pregnant woman. "therefore, to establish conditions which will overcome many previous infractions of law, _dress_ naturally and physiologically; _live_ much of the time _out of doors_; have _abundance_ of _fresh air_ in the house; let _exercise_ be _sufficient_ and _systematic_; pursue a _diet of fruit_, rice and vegetables; _regular rest_ must be faithfully taken; _abstain_ from the sexual relation. to those who will commit themselves to this course of life, patiently and persistently carrying it out through the period of gestation, the possibilities of attaining a healthy, natural, painless parturition will be remarkably increased. . "if the first experiment should not result in a painless labor, it without doubt will prove the beginning of sound health. persisted in through years of married life, the ultimate result will be more and more closely approximated, while there will be less danger of diseases after childbirth and better and more vigorous children will be produced. "then pregnancy by every true woman will be desired, and instead of being a period of disease, suffering and direful forebodings, will become a period of health, exalted pleasure and holiest anticipations. motherhood will be deemed the choicest of earth's blessings; women will rejoice in a glad maternity and for any self-denial will be compensated by healthy, happy, buoyant, grateful children." [illustration] [illustration: swat the flies and save the babies. life cycle of a fly egg stage day maggot stage days pupa stage days days later it begins to lay eggs] [illustration: joan of arc.] * * * * * solemn lessons for parents. . excessive pleasures and pains.--a woman during her time of pregnancy should of all women be most carefully tended, and kept from violent and excessive pleasures and pains; and at that time she should cultivate gentleness, benevolence and kindness. . hereditary effects.--those who are born to become insane do not necessarily spring from insane parents, or from any ancestry having any apparent taint of lunacy in their blood, but they do receive from their progenitors certain impressions upon their mental and moral, as well as their physical beings, which impressions, like an iron mould, fix and shape their subsequent destinies. hysteria in the mother may develop insanity in the child, while drunkenness in the father may impel epilepsy, or mania, in the son. ungoverned passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of their children, and the bad treatment of the wife may produce sickly or weak-minded children. . the influence of predominant passion may be transmitted from the parent to the child, just as surely a similarity of looks. it has been truly said that "the faculties which predominate in power and activity in the parents, when the organic existence of the child commences, determine its future mental disposition." a bad mental condition of the mother may produce serious defects upon her unborn child. . the singular effects produced on the unborn child by the sudden mental emotions of the mother are remarkable examples of a kind of electrotyping on the sensitive surfaces of living forms. it is doubtless true that the mind's action in such cases may increase or diminish the molecular deposits in the several portions of the system. the precise place which each separate particle assumes in the new organic structure may be determined by the influence of thought or feeling. perfect love and perfect harmony should exist between wife and husband during this vital period. . an illustration.--if a sudden and powerful emotion of a woman's mind exerts such an influence upon her stomach as to excite vomiting, and upon her heart as almost to arrest its motion and induce fainting, can we believe that it will have no effect upon her womb and the fragile being contained within it? facts and reason then, alike demonstrate the reality of the influence, and much practical advantage would result to both parent and child, were the conditions and extent of its operations better understood. . pregnant women should not be exposed to causes likely to distress or otherwise strongly impress their minds. a consistent life with worthy objects constantly kept in mind should be the aim and purpose of every expectant mother. * * * * * ten health rules for babies cut death rate in two. ninety-four babies out of every thousand born in new york died last year. only thirty-eight babies died in montclair, n.j., out of every thousand born during the same period. much credit for this low rate of infant mortality in the latter city is given the montclair day nursery which prescribes the following decade of baby health rules: . give a baby pure milk and watch its feeding very closely. . keep everything connected with a baby absolutely clean. cleanliness in the house accounts for a baby's health. untidy babies are usually sick babies. . never let a baby get chilled. keep its hands and feet warm. . regulate a baby's day by the clock. everything about its wants should be attended to on schedule time. . diminish a baby's food the minute signs of illness appear. most babies are overfed anyway. . weigh a baby every week until it is a year old. its weight is an index of its health. . every mother should get daily out-door exercise. it means better health for her babies. . every baby should be "mothered" more and mauled less. babies thrive on cuddling but they can get along on a lot less kissing. . don't amuse or play with your baby too much. its regular daily routine is all the stimulation its little brain needs at first. . don't let too many different people take care of the baby. even members of the same family make a baby nervous if they fuss around him too much. [illustration] [illustration: man with scales and infant.] * * * * * the care of new-born infants. . the first thing to be done ordinarily is to give the little stranger a bath by using soap and warm water. to remove the white material that usually covers the child use olive oil, goose oil or lard, and apply it with a soft piece of worn flannel, and when the child is entirely clean rub all off with a fresh piece of flannel. . many physicians in the united states recommend a thorough oiling of the child with pure lard or olive oil, and then rub dry as above stated. by these means water is avoided, and with it much risk of taking cold. . the application of brandy or liquor is entirely unnecessary, and generally does more injury than good. . if an infant should breathe feebly, or exhibit other signs of great feebleness, it should not be washed at once, but allowed to remain quiet and undisturbed, warmly wrapped up until the vital actions have acquired a fair degree of activity. . dressing the navel.--there is nothing better for dressing the navel than absorbent antiseptic cotton. there needs be no grease or oil upon the cotton. after the separation of the cord the navel should be dressed with a little cosmoline, still using the absorbent cotton. the navel string usually separates in a week's time; it may be delayed for twice this length of time, this will make no material difference, and the rule is to allow it to drop off of its own accord. . the clothing of the infant.--the clothing of the infant should be light, soft and perfectly loose. a soft flannel band is necessary only until the navel is healed. afterwards discard bands entirely if you wish your babe to be happy and well. make the dresses "mother hubbard" put on first a soft woolen shirt, then prepare the flannel skirts to hang from the neck like a slip. make one kind with sleeves and one just like it without sleeves, then white muslin skirts (if they are desired), all the same way. then baby is ready for any weather. in intense heat simply put on the one flannel slip with sleeves, leaving off the shirt. in spring and fall the shirt and skirt with no sleeves. in cold weather shirt and both skirts. these garments can be all put on at once, thus making the process of dressing very quick and easy. these are the most approved modern styles for dressing infants, and with long cashmere stockings pinned to the diapers the little feet are free to kick with no old-fashioned pinning blanket to torture the naturally active, healthy child, and retard its development. if tight bands are an injury to grown people, then in the name of pity emancipate the poor little infant from their torture! . the diaper.--diapers should be of soft linen, and great care should be exercised not to pin them too tightly. never dry them, but always wash them thoroughly before being used again. . the band need not be worn after the navel has healed so that it requires no dressing, as it serves no purpose save to keep in place the dressing of the navel. the child's body should be kept thoroughly warm around the chest, bowels and feet. give the heart and lungs plenty of room to heave. . the proper time for shortening the clothes is about three months in summer and six months in winter. . infant bathing.--the first week of a child's life it should not be entirely stripped and washed. it is too exhausting. after a child is over a week old it should be bathed every day; after a child is three weeks old it may be put in the water and supported with one hand while it is being washed with the other. never, however, allow it to remain too long in the water. from ten to twenty minutes is the limit. use pears' soap or castile soap, and with a sponge wipe quickly, or use a soft towel. [illustration] * * * * * nursing. . the new-born infant requires only the mother's milk. the true mother will nurse her child if it is a possibility. the infant will thrive better and have many more chances for life. . the mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully take its place. it needs no feeding for the first few days as it was commonly deemed necessary a few years ago. the secretions in the mother's breast are sufficient. . artificial food. tokology says: "the best artificial food is cream reduced and sweetened with sugar of mill. analysis shows that human milk contains more cream and sugar and less casein than the milk of animals." . milk should form the basis of all preparations of food. if the milk is too strong, indigestion will follow, and the child will lose instead of gaining strength. weaning.--the weaning of the child depends much upon the strength and condition of the mother. if it does not occur in hot weather, from nine to twelve months is as long as any child should be nursed. food in weaning.--infants cry a great deal during weaning, but a few days of patient perseverance will overcome all difficulties. give the child purely a milk diet, graham bread, milk crackers and milk, or a little milk thickened with boiled rice, a little jelly, apple sauce, etc., may be safely used. cracked wheat, oatmeal, wheat germ, or anything of that kind thoroughly cooked and served with a little cream and sugar, is an excellent food. milk drawn from the breasts.--if the mother suffers considerably from the milk gathering in the breast after weaning the child, withdraw it by taking a bottle that holds about a pint or a quart, putting a piece of cloth wrung out in warm water around the bottle, then fill it with boiling water, pour the water out and apply the bottle to the breast, and the bottle cooling will form a vacuum and will withdraw the milk into the bottle. this is one of the best methods now in use. return of the menses.--if the menses return while the mother is nursing, the child should at once be weaned, for the mother's milk no longer contains sufficient nourishment. in case the mother should become pregnant while the child is nursing it should at once be weaned, or serious results will follow to the health of the child. a mother's milk is no longer sufficiently rich to nourish the child or keep it in good health. care of the bottle.--if the child is fed on the bottle great care should be taken in keeping it absolutely clean. never use white rubber nipples. a plain form of bottle with a black rubber nipple is preferable. children should not be permitted to come to the table until two years of age. chafing.--one of the best remedies is powdered lycopodium; apply it every time the babe is cleaned; but first wash with pure castile soap; pears' soap is also good. a preparation of oxide of zinc is also highly recommended. chafing sometimes results from an acid condition of the stomach; in that case give a few doses of castoria. colic.--if an infant is seriously troubled with colic, there is nothing better than camomile or catnip tea. procure the leaves and make tea and give it as warm as the babe can bear. * * * * * feeding infants. . the best food for infants is mother's milk; next best is cow's milk. cow's milk contains about three times as much curd and one-half as much sugar, and it should be reduced with two parts of water. . in feeding cow's milk there is too little cream and too little sugar, and there is no doubt no better preparation than mellin's food to mix it with (according to directions). . children being fed on food lacking fat generally have their teeth come late; their muscles will be flabby and bones soft. children will be too fat when their food contains too much sugar. sugar always makes their flesh soft and flabby. . during the first two months the baby should be fed every two hours during the day, and two or three times during the night, but no more. ten or eleven feedings for twenty-four hours are all a child will bear and remain healthy. at three months the child may be fed every three hours instead of every two. . children can be taught regular habits by being fed and put to sleep at the same time every day and evening. nervous diseases are caused by irregular hours of sleep and diet, and the use of soothing medicines. . a child five or six months old should not be fed during the night from nine in the evening until six or seven in the morning, as overfeeding causes most of the wakefulness and nervousness of children during the night. . if a child vomits soon after taking the bottle, and there is an appearance of undigested food in the stool, it is a sign of overfeeding. if a large part of the bottle has been vomited, avoid the next bottle at regular time and pass over one bottle. if the child is nursing the same principles apply. . if a child empties its bottle and sucks vigorously its fingers after the bottle is emptied, it is very evident that the child is not fed enough, and should have its food gradually increased. . give the baby a little cold water several times a day. * * * * * infantile convulsions. definition.--an infantile convulsion corresponds to a chill in an adult, and is the most common brain affection among children. causes.--anything that irritates the nervous system may cause convulsions in the child, as teething, indigestible food, worms, dropsy of the brain, hereditary constitution, or they may be the accompanying symptom in nearly all the acute diseases of children, or when the eruption is suppressed in eruptive diseases. symptoms.--in case of convulsions of a child parents usually become frightened, and very rarely do the things that should be done in order to afford relief. the child, previous to the fit, is usually irritable, and the twitching of the muscles of the face may be noticed, or it may come on suddenly without warning. the child becomes insensible, clenches its hands tightly, lips turn blue, and the eyes become fixed, usually frothing from the mouth with head turned back. the convulsion generally lasts two or three minutes; sometimes, however, as long as ten or fifteen minutes, but rarely. remedy.--give the child a warm bath and rub gently. clothes wrung out of cold water and applied to the lower and back part of the head and plenty of fresh air will usually relieve the convulsion. be sure and loosen the clothing around the child's neck. after the convulsion is over, give the child a few doses of potassic bromide, and an injection of castor oil if the abdomen is swollen. potassic bromide should be kept in the house, to use in case of necessity. [illustration] [illustration: poor children from tenement.] * * * * * pains and ills in nursing. . sore nipples.--if a lady, during the latter few months of her pregnancy, where to adopt "means to harden the nipples," sore nipples during the period of suckling would not be so prevalent as they are. . cause.--a sore nipple is frequently produced by the injudicious custom of allowing the child to have the nipple almost constantly in his mouth. another frequent cause of a sore nipple is from the babe having the canker. another cause of a sore nipple is from the mother, after the babe has been sucking, putting up the nipple wet. she, therefore, ought always to dry the nipple, not by rubbing, but by dabbing it with a soft cambric or lawn handkerchief, or with a piece of soft linen rag one or the other of which ought always to be at hand every time directly after the child has done sucking, and just before applying any of the following powders or lotions to the nipple. . remedies.--one of the best remedies for a sore nipple is the following powder: take of borax, one drachm; powdered starch, seven drachms. mix. a pinch of the powder to be frequently applied to the nipple. if the above does not cure, try glycerine by applying it each time after nursing. . gathered breast.--a healthy woman with a well-developed breast and a good nipple, scarcely, if ever, has a gathered bosom; it is the delicate, the ill-developed breasted and worse-developed nippled lady who usually suffers from this painful complaint. and why? the evil can generally be traced to girlhood. if she be brought up luxuriously, her health and her breasts are sure to be weakened, and thus to suffer, more especially if the development of the bosoms and nipples has been arrested and interfered with by tight stays and corsets. why, the nipple is by them drawn in, and retained on the level with the breast countersunk as though it were of no consequence to her future well-being, as though it were a thing of nought. . tight lacers.--tight lacers will have to pay the penalties of which they little dream. oh, the monstrous folly of such proceedings! when will mothers awake from their lethargy? it is high time that they did so! from the mother having "no nipple," the effects of tight lacing, many a home has been made childless, the babe not being able to procure its proper nourishment, and dying in consequence! it is a frightful state of things! but fashion, unfortunately, blinds the eyes and deafens the ears of its votaries! . bad breast.--a gathered bosom, or "bad breast," as it is sometimes called, is more likely to occur after a first confinement and during the first month. great care, therefore, ought to be taken to avoid such a misfortune. a gathered breast is frequently owing to the carelessness of a mother in not covering her bosoms during the time she is suckling. too much attention cannot be paid to keeping the breasts comfortably warm. this, during the act of nursing, should be done by throwing either a shawl or a square of flannel over the neck, shoulders, and bosoms. . another cause.--another cause of gathered breasts arises from a mother sitting up in bed to suckle her babe. he ought to be accustomed to take the bosom while she is lying down; if this habit is not at first instituted, it will be difficult to adopt it afterwards. good habits may be taught a child from earliest babyhood. . faintness.--when a nursing mother feels faint, she ought immediately to lie down and take a little nourishment; a cup of tea with the yolk of an egg beaten up in it, or a cup of warm milk, or some beef-tea, any of which will answer the purpose extremely well. brandy, or any other spirit we would not recommend, as it would only cause, as soon as the immediate effects of the stimulant had gone off, a greater depression to ensue; not only so, but the frequent taking of brandy might become a habit a necessity which would be a calamity deeply to be deplored! . strong purgatives.--strong purgatives during this period are highly improper, as they are apt to give pain to the infant, as well as to injure the mother. if it be absolutely necessary to give physic, the mildest, such as a dose of castor oil, should be chosen. . habitually costive.--when a lady who is nursing is habitually costive, she ought to eat brown instead of white bread. this will, in the majority of cases, enable her to do without an aperient. the brown bread may be made with flour finely ground all one way; or by mixing one part of bran and three parts of fine wheaten flour together, and then making it in the usual way into bread. treacle instead of butter, on the brown bread increases its efficacy as an aperient; and raw should be substituted for lump sugar in her tea. . to prevent constipation.--stewed prunes, or stewed french plums, or stewed normandy pippins, are excellent remedies to prevent constipation. the patient ought to eat, every morning, a dozen or fifteen of them. the best way to stew either prunes or french plums, is the following: put a pound of either prunes or french plums, and two tablespoonfuls of raw sugar, into a brown jar; cover them with water; put them into a slow oven, and stew them for three or four hours. both stewed rhubarb and stewed pears often act as mild and gentle aperients. muscatel raisins, eaten at dessert, will oftentimes without medicine relieve the bowels. . cold water--a tumblerful of cold water, taken early every morning, sometimes effectually relieves the bowels; indeed, few people know the value of cold water as an aperient it is one of the best we possess, and, unlike drug aperients, can never by any possibility do any harm. an injection of warm water is one of the best ways to relieve the bowels. . well-cooked vegetables.--although a nursing mother ought, more especially if she be costive, to take a variety of well-cooked vegetables, such as potatoes, asparagus, cauliflower, french beans, spinach, stewed celery and turnips; she should avoid eating greens, cabbages, and pickles, as they would be likely to affect the babe, and might cause him to suffer from gripings, from pain, and "looseness" of the bowels. . supersede the necessity of taking physic.--let me again--for it cannot be too urgently insisted upon--strongly advise a nursing mother to use every means in the way of diet, etc., to supersede the necessity of taking physic (opening medicine), as the repetition of aperients injures, and that severely, both herself and child. moreover, the more opening medicine she swallows, the more she requires; so that if she once gets into the habit of regularly taking physic, the bowels will not act without them. what a miserable existence to be always swallowing physic! [illustration: healthy youth and ripe old age.] * * * * * home lessons in nursing sick children. . mismanagement.--every doctor knows that a large share of the ills to which infancy is subject are directly traceable to mismanagement. troubles of the digestive system are, for the most part due to errors, either in the selection of the food or in the preparation of it. . respiratory diseases.--respiratory diseases or the diseases of the throat and lungs have their origin, as a rule, in want of care and judgment in matters of clothing, bathing and exposure to cold and drafts. a child should always be dressed to suit the existing temperature of the weather. . nervous diseases.--nervous diseases are often aggravated if not caused by over-stimulation of the brain, by irregular hours of sleep, or by the use of "soothing" medicines, or eating indigestible food. . skin affections.--skin affections are generally due to want of proper care of the skin, to improper clothing or feeding, or to indiscriminate association with nurses and children, who are the carriers of contagious diseases. . permanent injury.--permanent injury is often caused by lifting the child by one hand, allowing it to fall, permitting it to play with sharp instruments, etc. . rules and principles.--every mother should understand the rules and principles of home nursing. children are very tender plants and the want of proper knowledge is often very disastrous if not fatal. study carefully and follow the principles and rules which are laid down in the different parts of this work on nursing and cooking for the sick. . what a mother should know: i. infant feeding.--the care of milk, milk sterilization, care of bottles, preparation of commonly employed infant foods, the general principles of infant feeding, with rules as to quality and frequency. ii. bathing.--the daily bath; the use of hot, cold and mustard baths. iii. hygiene of the skin. care of the mouth, eyes and ears. ventilation, temperature, cleanliness, care of napkins, etc. iv. training of children in proper bodily habits. simple means of treatment in sickness, etc. . the cry of the sick child.--the cry of the child is a language by which the character of its suffering to some extent may be ascertained. the manner in which the cry is uttered, or the pitch and tone is generally a symptom of a certain kind of disease. . stomachache.--the cry of the child in suffering with pain of the stomach is loud, excitable and spasmodic. the legs are drawn up and as the pain ceases, they are relaxed and the child sobs itself to sleep, and rests until awakened again by pain. . lung trouble.--when a child is suffering with an affection of the lungs or throat, it never cries loudly or continuously. a distress in breathing causes a sort of subdued cry and low moaning. if there is a slight cough it is generally a sign that there is some complication with the lungs. . disease of the brain.--in disease of the brain the cry is always sharp, short and piercing. drowsiness generally follows each spasm of pain. . fevers.--children rarely cry when suffering with fever unless they are disturbed. they should be handled very gently and spoken to in a very quiet and tender tone of voice. . the chamber of the sick room.--the room of the sick child should be kept scrupulously clean. no noise should disturb the quiet and rest of the child. if the weather is mild, plenty of fresh air should be admitted; the temperature should be kept at about degrees. a thermometer should be kept in the room, and the air should be changed several times during the day. this may be done with safety to the child by covering it up with woolen blankets to protect it from draft, while the windows and doors are opened. fresh air often does more to restore the sick child than the doctor's medicine. take the best room in the house. if necessary take the parlor, always make the room pleasant for the sick. . visitors.--carefully avoid the conversation of visitors or the loud and boisterous playing of children in the house. if there is much noise about the house that cannot be avoided, it is a good plan to put cotton in the ears of the patient. . light in the room.--light has a tendency to produce nervous irritability, consequently it is best to exclude as much daylight as possible and keep the room in a sort of twilight until the child begins to improve. be careful to avoid any odor coming from a burning lamp in the night. when the child begins to recover, give it plenty of sunlight. after the child begins to get better let in all the sunlight the windows will admit. take a south room for the sick bed. . sickness in summer.--if the weather is very hot it is a good plan to dampen the floors with cold water, or set several dishes of water in the room, but be careful to keep the patient out of the draft, and avoid any sudden change of temperature. . bathing.--bathe every sick child in warm water once a day unless prohibited by the doctor. if the child has a spasm or any attack of a serious nervous character in absence of the doctor, place him in a hot bath at once. hot water is one of the finest agencies for the cure of nervous diseases. [illustration] . scarlet fever and measles.--bathe the child in warm water to bring out the rash, and put in about a dessertspoonsful of mustard into each bath. . drinks.--if a child is suffering with fevers, let it have all the water it wants. toast-water will be found nourishing. when the stomach of the child is in an irritable condition, nourishments containing milk or any other fluid should be given very sparingly. barley-water and rice-water are very soothing to an irritable stomach. . food.--mellin's food and milk is very nourishing if the child will take it. oatmeal gruel, white of eggs, etc. are excellent and nourishing articles. see "how to cook for the sick." . eating fruit.--let children who are recovering from sickness eat moderately of good fresh fruit. never let a child, whether well or sick, eat the skins of any kind of fruit. the outer covering of fruit was not made to eat, and often has poisonous matter very injurious to health upon its surface. contagious and infectious diseases are often communicated in that way. . sudden startings with the thumbs drawn into the palms, portend trouble with the brain, and often end in convulsions, which are far more serious in infants than in children. convulsions in children often result from a suppression of urine. if you have occasion to believe that such is the case, get the patient to sweating as soon as possible. give it a hot bath, after which cover it up in bed and put bags of hot salt over the lower part of the abdomen. . symptoms of indigestion.--if the baby shows symptoms of indigestion, do not begin giving it medicine. it is wiser to decrease the quantity and quality of the food and let the little one omit one meal entirely, that his stomach may rest. avoid all starchy foods, as the organs of digestion are not sufficiently developed to receive them. a table for feeding a baby on modified milk. d week: top milk - / oz. milk sugar teaspoons barley gruel oz. cream - / oz. lime water oz. - / oz. at feeding times a day d week: top milk oz. milk sugar - / teaspoons barley gruel oz. lime water oz. oz. at feeding times a day th to th week: top milk oz. milk sugar teaspoons barley gruel to make a quart lime water oz. oz. at feeding times a day th to th week: top milk oz. milk sugar - / teaspoons barley gruel to make a quart lime water oz. oz. at feeding times a day th month: top milk oz. milk sugar teaspoons barley gruel to make a quart lime water oz. to oz. at feeding times a day th to th month: top milk oz. milk sugar - / teaspoons barley gruel to make a quart lime water oz. to oz. at feeding times a day th to th month: top milk oz. milk sugar teaspoons barley gruel to make a quart lime water oz. to oz. at feeding times a day top milk--let your quart of milk stand until the cream has risen, then pour off number of ounces required. sugar of milk may be purchased at your local druggist's. gruel is prepared by cooking one level tablespoon of any good barley flour in a pint of water with a pinch of salt. when partly cooled add to the milk. nursing. period: st and d day nursing in hours: interval by day: hrs. night nursings p.m. to a.m.: period: days to weeks nursing in hours: interval by day: hrs. night nursings p.m. to a.m.: period: weeks to mo. nursing in hours: interval by day: - / hrs. night nursings p.m. to a.m.: period: to mo. nursing in hours: interval by day: hrs. night nursings p.m. to a.m.: period: to mo. nursing in hours: interval by day: hrs. night nursings p.m. to a.m.: schedule for feeding healthy infants during first year age: d to th day interval between meals by day: hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: to - / ounces quantity in hours: to ounces age: d and d week interval between meals by day: hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: - / to ounces quantity in hours: to ounces age: th and th weeks interval between meals by day: - / hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: - / to ounces quantity in hours: to ounces age: th to th week interval between meals by day: - / hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: to ounces quantity in hours: to ounces age: th week to th mo. interval between meals by day: hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: to ounces quantity in hours: to ounces age: th to th month interval between meals by day: hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: to - / ounces quantity in hours: to ounces age: th to th month interval between meals by day: hours night feedings p.m. to a.m.: no. of feedings in hours: quantity for one feeding: to ounces quantity in hours: to ounces [illustration: a delicate child should never be put into the bath, but bathed on the lap and kept warmly covered.] * * * * * how to keep a baby well. . the mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully take its place. . the infant's stomach does not readily accommodate itself to changes in diet; therefore, regularity in quality, quantity and temperature is extremely necessary. . not until a child is a year old should it be allowed any food except that of milk, and possibly a little cracker or bread, thoroughly soaked and softened. . meat should never be given to very young children. the best artificial food is cream, reduced and sweetened with sugar and milk. no rule can be given for its reduction. observation and experience must teach that, because every child's stomach is governed by a rule of its own. . a child can be safely weaned at one year of age, and sometimes less. it depends entirely upon the season, and upon the health of the child. . a child should never be weaned during the warm weather, in june, july or august. . when a child is weaned it may be given, in connection with the milk diet, some such nourishment as broth, gruel, egg, or some prepared food. . a child should never be allowed to come to the table until two years of age. . a child should never eat much starchy food until four years old. . a child should have all the water it desires to drink, but it is decidedly the best to boil the water first, and allow it to cool. all the impurities and disease germs are thereby destroyed. this one thing alone will add greatly to the health and vigor of the child. . where there is a tendency to bowel disorder, a little gum arabic, rice, or barley may be boiled with the drinking water. . if the child uses a bottle it should be kept absolutely clean. it is best to have two or three bottles, so that one will always be perfectly clean and fresh. . the nipple should be of black or pure rubber, and not of the white or vulcanized rubber; it should fit over the top of the bottle. no tubes should ever be used; it is impossible to keep them clean. . when the rubber becomes coated, a little coarse salt will clean it. . babies should be fed at regular times. they should also be put to sleep at regular hours. regularity is one of the best safeguards to health. . milk for babies and children should be from healthy cows. milk from different cows varies, and it is always better for a child to have milk from the same cow. a farrow cow's milk is preferable, especially if the child is not very strong. . many of the prepared foods advertised for children are of little benefit. a few may be good, but what is good for one child may not be for another. so it must be simply a matter of experiment if any of the advertised foods are used. . it is a physiological fact that an infant is always healthier and better to sleep alone. it gets better air and is not liable to suffocation. . a healthy child should never be fed in less than two hours from the last time they finished before, gradually lengthening the time as it grows older. at months - / or hours; at months a healthy child will be better if given nothing in the night except, perhaps, a little water. . give an infant a little water several times a day. . a delicate child the first year should be oiled after each bath. the oiling may often take the place of the bath, in case of a cold. . in oiling a babe, use pure olive oil, and wipe off thoroughly after each application. for nourishing a weak child use also olive oil. . for colds, coughs, croup, etc., use goose oil externally and give a teaspoonful at bed-time. [illustration: found upon the doorstep.] * * * * * how to preserve the health and life of your infant during hot weather. _bathing._ . bathe infants daily in tepid water and even twice a day in hot weather. if delicate they should be sponged instead of immersing them in water, but cleanliness is absolutely necessary for the health of infants. _clothing._ . put no bands in their clothing, but make all garments to hang loosely from the shoulders, and have all their clothing _scrupulously clean_; even the diaper should not be re-used without rinsing. _sleep alone._ . the child should in all cases sleep by itself on a cot or in a crib and retire at a regular hour. a child _always_ early taught to go to sleep without rocking or nursing is the healthier and happier for it. begin _at birth_ and this will be easily accomplished. _cordials and soothing syrups._ . never give cordials, soothing syrups, sleeping drops etc., without the advice of a physician. a child that frets and does not sleep is either hungry or ill. _if ill it needs a physician._ never give candy or cake to quiet a small child, they are sure to produce disorders of the stomach, diarrhoea or some other trouble. _fresh air._ . children should have plenty of fresh air summer as well as winter. avoid the severe hot sun and the heated kitchen for infants in summer. heat is the great destroyer of infants. _clean houses._ . keep your house clean and cool and well aired night and day. your cellars cleared of all rubbish and white-washed every spring, your drains cleaned with strong solution of copperas or chloride of lime, poured down them once a week. keep your gutters and yards clean and insist upon your neighbors doing the same. _evacuations of a child._ the healthy motion varies from light orange yellow to greenish yellow, in number, two to four times daily. smell should never be offensive. slimy mucous-like jelly passages indicate worms. pale green, offensive, acrid motions indicate disordered stomach. dark green indicate acid secretions and a more serious trouble. fetid dark brown stools are present in chronic diarrhoea putty-like pasty passages are due to aridity curdling the milk or to torpid liver. [illustration] _breast milk._ . breast milk is the only proper food for infants until after the second summer. if the supply is small keep what you have and feed the child in connection with it, for if the babe is ill this breast milk may be all that will save its life. _sterilized milk._ . milk is the best food. goat's milk best, cows milk next. if the child thrives on this _nothing else_ should be given during the hot weather, until the front teeth are cut. get fresh cow's milk twice a day if the child requires food in the night, pour it into a glass fruit jar with one-third pure water for a child under three months old, afterwards the proportion of water may be less and less, also a trifle of sugar may be added. then place the jar in a kettle or pan of cold water, like the bottom of an oatmeal kettle. leave the cover of the jar loose. place it on the stove and let the water come to a boil and boil ten minutes, screw down the cover tight and boil ten minutes more, then remove from the fire, and allow it to cool in the water slowly so as not to break the jar. when partly cool put on the ice or in a cool place, and keep tightly covered except when the milk is poured out for use. the glass jar must be kept perfectly clean and washed and scalded carefully before use. a tablespoonful of lime water to a bottle of milk will aid indigestion. discard the bottle as soon as possible and use a cup which you know is clean, whereas a bottle must be kept in water constantly when not in use, or the sour milk will make the child sick. use no tube for it is exceedingly hard to keep it clean, and if pure milk cannot be had, condensed milk is admirable and does not need to be sterilized as the above. _diet._ . never give babies under two years old such food if grown persons eat. their chief diet should be milk, wheat bread and milk, oatmeal, possibly a little rare boiled egg, but always and chiefly milk. germ wheat is also excellent. [illustration] _exercise._ . children should have exercise in the house as well as outdoors, but should not be jolted and jumped and jarred in rough play, not rudely rocked in the cradle, nor carelessly trundled over bumps in their carriages. they should not be held too much in the arms, but allowed to crawl and kick upon the floor and develop their limbs and muscles. a child should not be lifted by its arms nor dragged along by one hand after it learns to take a few feeble steps, but when they do learn to walk steadily it is the best of all exercise, especially in the open air. let the children as they grow older romp and play in the open air all they wish, girls as well as boys. give the girls an even chance for health, while they are young at least, and don't mind about their complexion. [illustration] * * * * * infant teething. . remarkable instances.--there are instances where babies have been born with teeth, and, on the other hand, there are cases of persons who have never had any teeth at all; and others that had double teeth all around in both upper and lower jaws, but these are rare instances, and may be termed as a sort of freaks of nature. . infant teething.--the first teeth generally make their appearance after the third month, and during the period of teething the child is fretful and restless, causing sometimes constitutional disturbances, such as diarrhoea, indigestion, etc. usually, however, no serious results follow, and no unnecessary anxiety need be felt, unless the weather is extremely warm, then there is some danger of summer complaint setting in and seriously complicating matters. . the number of teeth.--teeth are generally cut in pairs and make their appearance first in the front and going backwards until all are complete. it generally takes about two years for a temporary set of children's teeth. a child two or three years old should have twenty teeth. after the age of seven they generally begin to loosen and fall out and permanent teeth take their place. . lancing the gums.--this is very rarely necessary. there are extreme cases when the condition of the mouth and health of the child demand a physician's lance, but this should not he resorted to, unless it is absolutely necessary. when the gums are very much swollen and the tooth is nearly through, the pains may be relieved by the mother taking a thimble and pressing it down upon the tooth, the sharp edges of the tooth will cut through the swollen flesh, and instant relief will follow. a child in a few hours or a day will be perfectly happy after a very severe and trying time of sickness. . permanent teeth.--the teeth are firmly inserted in sockets of the upper and lower jaw. the permanent teeth which follow the temporary teeth, when complete, are sixteen in each jaw, or thirty-two in all. . names of teeth.--there are four incisors (front teeth), four cuspids (eye teeth), four bicuspids (grinders), and four molars (large grinders), in each jaw. each tooth is divided into the crown, body, and root. the crown is the grinding surface; the body--the part projecting from the jaw--is the seat of sensation and nutrition; the root is that portion of the tooth which is inserted in the alveolus. the teeth are composed of dentine (ivory) and enamel. the ivory forms the greater portion of the body and root, while the enamel covers the exposed surface. the small white cords communicating with the teeth are the nerves. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * home treatment for the diseases of infants and children. . out of every persons that died during the year of , did not reach one year of age, and died under five years of age. what a fearful responsibility therefore rests upon the parents who permit these hundreds of thousands of children to die annually. this terrible mortality among children is undoubtedly largely the result of ignorance as regarding to the proper care and treatment of sick children. . for very small children it is always best to use homoeopathic remedies. _colic._ . babies often suffer severely with colic. it is not considered dangerous, but causes considerable suffering. . severe colic is usually the result of derangement of the liver in the mother, or of her insufficient or improper nourishment, and it occurs more frequently when the child is from two to five months old. . let the mother eat chiefly barley, wheat and bread, rolled wheat, graham bread, fish, milk, eggs and fruit. the latter may be freely eaten, avoiding that which is very sour. . a rubber bag or bottle filled with hot water put into a crib, will keep the child, once quieted, asleep for hours. if a child is suffering from colic, it should be thoroughly warmed and kept warm. . avoid giving opiates of any kind, such as cordials, mrs. winslow's soothing syrup, "mother's friend," and various other patent medicines. they injure the stomach and health of the child, instead of benefiting it. . remedies.--a few tablespoonfuls of hot water will often allay a severe attack of the colic. catnip tea is also a good remedy. a drop of essence of peppermint in or teaspoonfuls of hot water will give relief. if the stools are green and the child is very restless, give chamomilla. if the child is suffering from constipation, and undigested curds of milk appear in its faeces, and the child starts suddenly in its sleep, give nux vomica. an injection of a few spoonfuls of hot water into the rectum with a little asafoetida is an effective remedy, and will be good for an adult. _constipation._ . this is a very frequent ailment of infants. the first thing necessary is for the mother to regulate her diet. . if the child is nursed regularly and held out at the same time of each day, it will seldom be troubled with this complaint. give plenty of _water_. regularity of habit is the remedy. if this method fails, use a soap suppository. make it by paring a piece of white castile soap round. it should be made about the size of a lead pencil, pointed at the end. . avoid giving a baby drugs. let the physician administer them if necessary. _diarrhoea._ great care should be exercised by parents in checking the diarrhoea of children. many times serious diseases are brought on by parents being too hasty in checking this disorder of the bowels. it is an infant's first method of removing obstructions and overcoming derangements of the system. _summer complaint._ . summer complaint is an irritation and inflammation of the lining membranes of the intestines. this may often be caused by teething, eating indigestible food, etc. . if the discharges are only frequent and yellow and not accompanied with pain, there is no cause for anxiety; but if the discharges are green, soon becoming gray, brown and sometimes frothy, having a mixture of phlegm, and sometimes containing food undigested, a physician had better be summoned. . for mild attacks the following treatment may be given: ) keep the child perfectly quiet and keep the room well aired. ) put a drop of tincture of camphor on a teaspoonful of sugar, mix thoroughly; then add teaspoonfuls of hot water and give a teaspoonful of the mixture every ten minutes. this is indicated where the discharges are watery, and where there is vomiting and coldness of the feet and hands. chamomilla is also an excellent remedy. ipecac and nux vomica may also be given. in giving homoeopathic remedies, give or pellets every or hours. ) the diet should be wholesome and nourishing. _for teething._ if a child is suffering with swollen gums, is feverish, restless, and starts in its sleep, give nux vomica. worms. _pin worms._ pin worms and round worms are the most common in children. they are generally found in the lower bowels. symptoms.--restlessness, itching about the anus in the fore part of the evening, and worms in the faeces. treatment.--give with a syringe an injection of a tablespoonful of linseed oil. cleanliness is also very necessary. _round worms._ a round worm is from six to sixteen inches in length, resembling the common earth worm. it inhabits generally the small intestines, but it sometimes enters the stomach and is thrown up by vomiting. symptoms.--distress, indigestion, swelling of the abdomen, grinding of the teeth, restlessness, and sometimes convulsions. treatment.--one teaspoonful of powdered wormseed mixed with a sufficient quantity of molasses, or spread on bread and butter. or, one grain of santonine every four hours for two or three days, followed by a brisk cathartic. wormwood tea is also highly recommended. swaim's vermifuge. ounces wormseed, - / ounces valerian, - / ounces rhubarb, - / ounces pink-root, - / ounces white agaric. boil in sufficient water to yield quarts of decoction, and add to it drops of oil of tansy and drops of oil of cloves, dissolved in a quart of rectified spirits. dose, teaspoonful at night. _another excellent vermifuge._ oil of wormseed, ounce, oil of anise, ounce, castor oil, ounce, tinct. of myrrh, drops, oil of turpentine, drops. mix thoroughly. always shake well before using. give to drops in cold coffee, once or twice a day. [illustration] how to treat croup spasmodic and true. _spasmodic croup._ definition.--a spasmodic closure of the glottis which interferes with respiration. comes on suddenly and usually at night, without much warning. it is a purely nervous disease and may be caused by reflex nervous irritation from undigested food in the stomach or bowels, irritation of the gums in dentition, or from brain disorders. symptoms.--child awakens suddenly at night with suspended respiration or very difficult breathing. after a few respirations it cries out and then falls asleep quietly, or the attack may last an hour or so, when the face will become pale, veins in the neck become turgid and feet and hands contract spasmodically. in mild cases the attacks will only occur once during the night, but may recur on the following night. home treatment.--during the paroxysm dashing cold water in the face is a common remedy. to terminate the spasm and prevent its return give teaspoonful doses of powdered alum. the syrup of squills is an old and tried remedy; give in to drop doses and repeat every minutes till vomiting occurs. seek out the cause if possible and remove it. it commonly lies in some derangement of the digestive organs. _true croup._ definition.--this disease consists of an inflammation of the mucous membrane of the upper air passages, particularly of the larynx with the formation of a false membrane that obstructs the breathing. the disease is most common in children between the ages of two and seven years, but it may occur at any age. symptoms.--usually there are symptoms of a cold for three or four days previous to the attack. marked hoarseness is observed in the evening with a ringing metallic cough and some difficulty in breathing, which increases and becomes somewhat paroxysmal till the face which was at first flushed becomes pallid and ashy in hue. the efforts at breathing become very great, and unless the child gets speedy relief it will die of suffocation. home treatment.--patient should be kept in a moist warm atmosphere, and cold water applied to the neck early in the attack. as soon as the breathing seems difficult give a half to one teaspoonful of powdered alum in honey to produce vomiting and apply the remedies suggested in the treatment of diphtheria, as the two diseases are thought by many to be identical. when the breathing becomes labored and face becomes pallid, the condition is very serious and a physician should be called without delay. _scarlet fever._ definition.--an eruptive contagious disease, brought about by direct exposure to those having the disease, or by contact with clothing, dishes, or other articles, used about the sick room. the clothing may be disinfected by heating to a temperature of [degrees] fahrenheit or by dipping in boiling water before washing. dogs and cats will also carry the disease and should be kept from the house, and particularly from the sick room. symptoms.--chilly sensations or a decided chill, fever, headache, furred tongue, vomiting, sore throat, rapid pulse, hot dry skin and more or less stupor. in from to hours a fine red rash appears about the ears, neck and shoulders, which rapidly spreads to the entire surface of the body. after a few days, a scurf or branny scales will begin to form on the skin. these scales are the principal source of contagion. home treatment. . isolate the patient from other members of the family to prevent the spread of the disease. . keep the patient in bed and give a fluid diet of milk gruel, beef tea, etc., with plenty of cold water to drink. . control the fever by sponging the body with tepid water, and relieve the pain in the throat by cold compresses, applied externally. . as soon as the skin shows a tendency to become scaly, apply goose grease or clean lard with a little boracic acid powder dusted in it, or better, perhaps, carbolized vaseline to relieve the itching and prevent the scales from being scattered about, and subjecting others to the contagion. regular treatment.--a few drops of aconite every three hours to regulate the pulse, and if the skin be pale and circulation feeble, with tardy eruption, administer one to ten drops of tincture of belladonna, according to the age of the patient. at the end of third week, if eyes look puffy and feet swell, there is danger of acute bright's disease, and a physician should be consulted. if the case does not progress well under the home remedies suggested, a physician should be called at once. _whooping cough._ definition.--this is a contagious disease which is known by a peculiar whooping sound in the cough. considerable mucus is thrown off after each attack of spasmodic coughing. symptoms.--it usually commences with the symptoms of a common cold in the head, some chilliness, feverishness, restlessness, headache, a feeling of tightness across the chest, violent paroxysms of coughing, sometimes almost threatening suffocation, and accompanied with vomiting. home treatment.--patient should eat plain food and avoid cold drafts and damp air, but keep in the open air as much as possible. a strong tea made of the tops of red clover is highly recommended. a strong tea made of chestnut leaves, sweetened with sugar, is also very good. teaspoonful of powdered alum, teaspoonful of syrup. mix in a tumbler of water, and give the child one teaspoonful every two or three hours. a kerosene lamp kept burning in the bed chamber at night is said to lessen the cough and shorten the course of the disease. _mumps._ definition.--this is a contagious disease causing the inflammation of the salivary glands, and is generally a disease of childhood and youth. symptoms.--a slight fever, stiffness of the neck and lower jaw, swelling and soreness of the gland. it usually develops in four or five days and then begins to disappear. home treatment.--apply to the swelling a hot poultice of cornmeal and bread and milk. a hop poultice is also excellent. take a good dose of physic and rest carefully. a warm general bath, or mustard foot bath, is very good. avoid exposure or cold drafts. if a bad cold is taken, serious results may follow. _measles._ definition.--it is an eruptive, contagious disease, preceded by cough and other catarrhal symptoms for about four or five days. the eruption comes rapidly in small red spots, which are slightly raised. symptoms.--a feeling of weakness, loss of appetite, some fever, cold in the head, frequent sneezing, watery eyes, dry cough and a hot skin. the disease takes effect nine or ten days after exposure. home treatment.--measles is not a dangerous disease in the child, but in an adult it is often very serious. in childhood very little medicine is necessary, but exposure must be carefully avoided, and the patient kept in bed, in a moderately warm room. the diet should be light and nourishing. keep the room dark. if the eruption does not come out promptly, apply hot baths. common treatment.--two teaspoonfuls of spirits of nitre, one teaspoonful paregoric, one wineglassful of camphor water. mix thoroughly, and give a teaspoonful in half a teacupful of water every two hours. to relieve the cough, if troublesome, flax seed tea, or infusion of slippery-elm bark, with a little lemon juice to render more palatable, will be of benefit. _chicken pox._ definition.--this is a contagious, eruptive disease, which resembles to some extent small-pox. the pointed vesicles or pimples have a depression in the center in chicken-pox, and in small pox they do not. symptoms.--nine to seventeen days elapse after the exposure, before symptoms appear. slight fever, a sense of sickness, the appearance of scattered pimples, some itching and heat. the pimples rapidly change into little blisters, filled with a watery fluid. after five or six days they disappear. home treatment.--milk diet, and avoid all kinds of meat. keep the bowels open, and avoid all exposure to cold. large vesicles on the face should be punctured early and irritation by rubbing should be avoided. _home treatment of diphtheria._ definition.--acute, specific, constitutional disease, with local manifestations in the throat, mouth, nose, larynx, wind-pipe, and glands of the neck. the disease is infectious but not very contagious under the proper precautions. it is a disease of childhood, though adults sometimes contract it. many of the best physicians of the day consider true or membranous croup to be due to this diphtheritic membranous disease thus located in the larynx or trachea. symptoms.--symptoms vary according to the severity of the attack. chills, fever, headache, languor, loss of appetite, stiffness of neck, with tenderness about the angles of the jaw, soreness of the throat, pain in the ear, aching of the limbs, loss of strength, coated tongue, swelling of the neck, and offensive breath; lymphatic glands on side of neck enlarged and tender. the throat is first to be seen red and swollen, then covered with grayish white patches, which spread, and a false membrane is found on the mucous membrane. if the nose is attacked, there will be an offensive discharge, and the child will breathe through the mouth. if the larynx or throat are involved, the voice will become hoarse, and a croupy cough, with difficult breathing, shows that the air passage to the lungs is being obstructed by the false membrane. home treatment.--isolate the patient, to prevent the spread of the disease. diet should be of the most nutritious character, as milk, eggs, broths, and oysters. give at intervals of every two or three hours. if patient refuses to swallow, from the pain caused by the effort, a nutrition injection must be resorted to. inhalations of steam and hot water, and allowing the patient to suck pellets of ice, will give relief. sponges dipped in hot water, and applied to the angles of the jaw, are beneficial. inhalations of lime, made by slaking freshly burnt lime in a vessel, and directing the vapor to the child's mouth, by means of a newspaper, or similar contrivance. flour of sulphur, blown into the back of the mouth and throat by means of a goose quill, has been highly recommended. frequent gargling of the throat and mouth, with a solution of lactic acid, strong enough to taste sour, will help to keep the parts clean, and correct the foul breath. if there is great prostration, with the nasal passage affected, or hoarseness and difficult breathing, a physician should be called at once. [illustration] * * * * * diseases of women. _disorders of the menses._ . suppression of, or scanty menses. home treatment.--attention to the diet, and exercise in the open air to promote the general health. some bitter tonic, taken with fifteen grains of dialyzed iron, well diluted, after meals, if patient is pale and debilitated. a hot foot bath is often all that is necessary. . profuse menstruation. home treatment.--avoid highly seasoned food, and the use of spirituous liquors; also excessive fatigue, either physical or mental. to check the flow, patient should be kept quiet, and allowed to sip cinnamon tea during the period. . painful menstruation. home treatment.--often brought on by colds. treat by warm hip baths, hot drinks (avoiding spirituous liquors), and heat applied to the back and extremities. a teaspoonful of the fluid extract of viburnum will sometimes act like a charm. _how to cure swelled and sore breasts._ take and boil a quantity of chamomile, and apply the hot fomentations. this dissolves the knot, and reduces the swelling and soreness. _leucorrhea or whites._ home treatment.--this disorder, if not arising from some abnormal condition of the pelvic organs, can easily be cured by patient taking the proper amount of exercise and good nutritious food, avoiding tea and coffee. an injection every evening of one teaspoonful of pond's extract in a cup of hot water, after first cleansing the vagina well with a quart of warm water, is a simple but effective remedy. _inflammation of the womb._ home treatment.--when in the acute form this disease is ushered in by a chill, followed by fever, and pain in the region of the womb. patient should be placed in bed, and a brisk purgative given, hot poultices applied to the abdomen, and the feet and hands kept warm. if the symptoms do not subside, a physician should be consulted. _hysteria._ definition.--a functional disorder of the nervous system of which it is impossible to speak definitely; characterized by disturbance of the reason, will, imagination, and emotions, with sometimes convulsive attacks that resemble epilepsy. symptoms.--fits of laughter, and tears without apparent cause; emotions easily excited; mind often melancholy and depressed; tenderness along the spine; disturbances, of digestion, with hysterical convulsions, and other nervous phenomena. home treatment.--some healthy and pleasant employment should be urged upon women afflicted with this disease. men are also subject to it, though not so frequently. avoid excessive fatigue and mental worry; also stimulants and opiates. plenty of good food and fresh air will do more good than drugs. * * * * * falling of the womb. causes.--the displacement of the womb usually is the result of too much childbearing, miscarriages, abortions, or the taking of strong medicines to bring about menstruation. it may also be the result in getting up too quickly from the childbed. there are, however, other causes, such as a general breaking down of the health. symptoms.--if the womb has fallen forward it presses against the bladder, causing the patient to urinate frequently. if the womb has fallen back, it presses against the rectum, and constipation is the result with often severe pain at stool. if the womb descends into the vagina there is a feeling of heaviness. all forms of displacement produce pain in the back, with an irregular and scanty menstrual flow and a dull and exhausted feeling. home treatment.--improve the general health. take some preparation of cod-liver oil, hot injections (of a teaspoonful of powdered alum with a pint of water), a daily sitz-bath, and a regular morning bath three times a week will be found very beneficial. there, however, can be no remedy unless the womb is first replaced to the proper position. this must be done by a competent physician who should frequently be consulted. [illustration] * * * * * menstruation. . its importance.--menstruation plays a momentous part in the female economy; indeed, unless it be in every way properly and duly performed, it is neither possible that a lady can be well, nor is it at all probable that she will conceive. the large number of barren, of delicate, and of hysterical women there are in america arises mainly from menstruation not being duly and properly performed. . the boundary-line.--menstruation--"the periods"--the appearance of the catamenia or the menses--is then one of the most important epochs in a girl's life. it is the boundary-line, the landmark between childhood and womanhood; it is the threshold, so to speak, of a woman's life. her body now develops and expands, and her mental capacity enlarges and improves. . the commencement of menstruation.--a good beginning at this time is peculiarly necessary, or a girl's health is sure to suffer and different organs of the body--her lungs, for instance, may become imperiled. a healthy continuation, at regular periods, is also much needed, or conception, when she is married, may not occur. great attention and skillful management is required to ward off many formidable diseases, which at the close of menstruation--at "the change of life"--are more likely than at any time to be developed. if she marry when very young, marriage weakens her system, and prevents a full development of her body. moreover, such an one is, during the progress of her labor, prone to convulsions--which is a very serious childbed complication. . early marriages.--statistics prove that twenty per cent-- in every --of females who marry are under age, and that such early marriages are often followed by serious, and sometimes even by fatal consequences to mother, to progeny, or to both. parents ought, therefore, to persuade their daughters not to marry until they are of age--twenty-one; they should point out to them the risk and danger likely to ensue if their advice be not followed; they should impress upon their minds the old adage: "early wed, early dead." . time to marry.--parents who have the real interest and happiness of their daughters at heart, ought, in consonance with the laws of physiology, to discountenance marriage before twenty; and the nearer the girls arrive at the age of twenty-five before the consummation of this important rite, the greater the probability that, physically and morally, they will be protected against those risks which precocious marriages bring in their train. . feeble parents.--feeble parents have generally feeble children; diseased parents, diseased children; nervous parents, nervous children;--"like begets like." it is sad to reflect, that the innocent have to suffer, not only for the guilty, but for the thoughtless and inconsiderate. disease and debility are thus propagated from one generation to another and the american race becomes woefully deteriorated. . time.--menstruation in this country usually commences at the ages of from thirteen to sixteen, sometimes earlier; occasionally as early as eleven or twelve; at other times later, and not until a girl be seventeen or eighteen years of age. menstruation in large towns is supposed to commence at an earlier period than in the country, and earlier in luxurious than in simple life. . character.--the menstrual fluid is not exactly blood, although, both in appearance and properties, it much resembles it; yet it never in the healthy state clots as blood does. it is a secretion of the womb, and, when healthy, ought to be of a bright red color in appearance very much like the blood from a recently cut finger. the menstrual fluid ought not, as before observed, clot. if it does, a lady, during "her periods," suffers intense pain; moreover, she seldom conceives until the clotting has ceased. . menstruation during nursing.--some ladies, though comparatively few, menstruate during nursing; when they do, it may be considered not as the rule, but as the exception. it is said in such instances, that they are more likely to conceive; and no doubt they are, as menstruation is an indication of a proneness to conception. many persons have an idea that when a woman, during lactation, menstruates, her milk is both sweeter and purer. such is an error. menstruation during nursing is more likely to weaken the mother, and consequently to deteriorate her milk, and thus make it less sweet and less pure. . violent exercise.--during "the monthly periods" violent exercise is injurious; iced drinks and acid beverages are improper; and bathing in the sea, and bathing the feet in cold water, and cold baths are dangerous; indeed, at such times as these, no risks should be run, and no experiments should, for the moment, be permitted, otherwise serious consequences will, in all probability, ensue. . the pale, colorless-complexioned.--the pale, colorless-complexioned, helpless, listless, and almost lifeless young ladies who are so constantly seen in society, usually owe their miserable state of health to absent, to deficient, or to profuse menstruation. their breathing is short--they are soon "out of breath," if they attempt to take exercise--to walk, for instance, either up stairs or up a hill, or even for half a mile on level ground, their breath is nearly exhausted--they pant as though they had been running quickly. they are ready, after the slightest exertion or fatigue, and after the least worry or excitement, to feel faint, and sometimes even to actually swoon away. now such cases may, if judiciously treated, be generally soon cured. it therefore behooves mothers to seek medical aid early for their girls, and that before irreparable mischief has been done to the constitution. . poverty of blood.--in a pale, delicate girl or wife, who is laboring under what is popularly called poverty of blood, the menstrual fluid is sometimes very scant, at others very copious, but is, in either case, usually very pale--almost as colorless as water, the patient being very nervous and even hysterical. now, these are signs of great debility; but, fortunately for such an one, a medical man is, in the majority of cases, in possession of remedies that will soon make her all right again. . no right to marry.--a delicate girl has no right until she be made strong, to marry. if she should marry, she will frequently, when in labor, not have strength, unless she has help, to bring a child into the world; which, provided she be healthy and well-formed, ought not to be. how graphically the bible tells of delicate women not having strength to bring children into the world: "for the children are come to the birth, and there is not strength to bring forth."-- kings xix, . . too sparing.--menstruation at another time is too sparing; this is a frequent cause of sterility. medical aid, in the majority of cases, will be able to remedy the defect, and, by doing so, will probably be the means of bringing the womb into a healthy state, and thus predispose to conception. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * celebrated prescriptions for all diseases and how to use them. vinegar for hives. after trying many remedies in a severe case of hives, mr. swain found vinegar lotion gave instant relief, and subsequent trials in other cases have been equally successful. one part of water to two parts of vinegar is the strength most suitable. throat trouble. a teaspoonful of salt, in a cup of hot water makes a safe and excellent gargle in most throat troubles. for sweating feet, with bad odor. wash the feet in warm water with borax, and if this don't cure, use a solution of permanganate to destroy the fetor; about five grains to each ounce of water. amenorrhoea. the following is recommended as a reliable emmenagogue in many cases of functional amenorrhoea: bichloride of mercury, arsenite of sodium, aa gr. iij. sulphate of strychnine, gr. iss. carbonate of potassium, sulphate of iron, aa gr. xlv. mix and divide into sixty pills. sig. one pill after each meal. sick headache. take a spoonful of finely powdered charcoal in a small glass of warm water to relieve a sick headache. it absorbs the gasses produced by the fermentation of undigested food. an excellent eye wash. acetate of zinc, grains. acetate of morphia, grains. rose water, ounces. mix. for films and cataracts of the eyes. blood root pulverized, ounce. hog's lard, ounces. mix, simmer for minutes, then strain; when cold put a little in the eyes twice or three times a day. for burns and sores. pitch burgundy, pounds. bees' wax, pound. hog's lard, one pound. mix all together and simmer over a slow fire until the whole are well mixed together; then stir it until cold. apply on muslin to the parts affected. for chapped hands. olive oil, ounces. camphor beat fine, / ounce. mix, dissolve by gentle heat over slow fire and when cold apply to the hand freely. intoxication. a man who is helplessly intoxicated may almost immediately restore the faculties and powers of locomotion by taking half a teaspoonful of chloride of ammonium in a goblet of water. a wineglassful of strong vinegar will have the same effect and is frequently resorted to by drunken soldiers. nervous disability, headache, neuralgia, nervousness. fluid extract of scullcap, ounce. fluid extract american valerian, ounce. fluid extract catnip, ounce. mix all. dose, from to drops every two hours, in water; most valuable. a valuable tonic in all conditions of debility and want of appetite. comp. tincture of cinchona in teaspoonful doses in a little water, half hour before meals. another excellent tonic tincture of gentian, ounce. tincture of columba, ounce. tincture of collinsonia, ounce. mix all. dose, one tablespoonful in one tablespoonful of water before meals. remedy for chapped hands. when doing housework, if your hands become chapped or red, mix corn meal and vinegar into a stiff paste and apply to the hands two or three times a day, after washing them in hot water, then let dry without wiping, and rub with glycerine. at night use cold cream, and wear gloves. bleeding. very hot water is a prompt checker of bleeding, besides if it is clean, as it should be, it aids in sterilizing our wound. treatment for cramp. wherever friction can be conveniently applied, heat will be generated by it, and the muscle again reduced to a natural condition; but if the pains proceed from the contraction of some muscle located internally, burnt brandy is an excellent remedy. a severe attack which will not yield to this simple treatment may be conquered by administering a small dose of laudanum or ether, best given under medical supervision. treatment for colic castor oil, given as soon as the symptoms of colic manifest themselves, has frequently afforded relief. at any rate, the irritating substances must be expelled from the alimentary canal before the pains will subside. all local remedies will be ineffectual, and consequently the purgative should be given in large doses until a copious vacuation is produced. [illustration: the doctor's visit.] treatment for heartburn. if soda, taken in small quantities after meals, does not relieve the distress, one may rest assured that the fluid is an alkali and requires an acid treatment. proceed, after eating, to squeeze ten drops of lemon-juice into a small quantity of water, and swallow it. the habit of daily life should be made to conform to the laws of health, or local treatment will prove futile. biliousness. for biliousness, squeeze the juice of a lime or small lemon into half a glass of cold water, then stir in a little baking soda and drink while it foams. this receipt will also relieve sick headache if taken at the beginning. turpentine applications. mix turpentine and lard in equal parts. warmed and rubbed on the chest, it is a safe, reliable and mild counter irritant and revulsent in minor lung complications. treatment for mumps. it is very important that the face and neck be kept warm. avoid catching cold, and regulate the stomach and bowels; because when aggravated, this disease is communicated to other glands, and assumes there a serious form. rest and quiet, with a good condition of the general health, will throw off this disease without further inconvenience. treatment for felon. all medication, such as poulticing, anointing, and the applications of lotions, is but useless waste of time. the surgeon's knife should be used as early as possible, for it will be required sooner or later and the more promptly it can be applied, the less danger is there from the disease, and the more agony is spared to the unfortunate victim. treatment for stabs. a wound made by thrusting a dagger or other oblong instrument into the flesh, is best treated, if no artery has been severed, by applying lint scraped from a linen cloth, which serves as an obstruction, allowing and assisting coagulation. meanwhile cold water should be applied to the parts adjoining the wound. treatment for mashed nails. if the injured member be plunged into very hot water the nail will become pliable and adapt itself to the new condition of things, thus alleviating agony to some extent. a small hole may be bored on the nail with a pointed instrument, so adroitly as not to cause pain, yet so successfully as to relieve pressure on the sensitive tissues. free applications of arnica or iodine will have an excellent effect. treatment for foreign body in the eye. when any foreign body enters the eye, close it instantly, and keep it still until you have an opportunity to ask the assistance of some one; then have the upper lid folded over a pencil and the exposed surfaces closely searched; if the body be invisible, catch the everted lid by the lashes, and drawing it down over the lower lid, suddenly release it, and it will resume its natural position. unsuccessful in this attempt, you may be pretty well assured that the object has become lodged in the tissues, and will require the assistance of a skilled operator to remove it. cuts. a drop or two of creosote on a cut will stop its bleeding. treatment for poison oak--poison ivy--poison sumach.--mr. charles morris, of philadelphia, who has studied the subject closely, uses, as a sovereign remedy, frequent bathing of the affected parts in water as hot as can be borne. if used immediately after exposure, it may prevent the eruption appearing. if later, it allays the itching, and gradually dries up the swellings, though they are very stubborn after they have once appeared. but an application every few hours keeps down the intolerable itching, which is the most annoying feature of sumach poisoning. in addition to this, the ordinary astringent ointments are useful, as is also that sovereign lotion, "lead-water and laudanum." mr. morris adds to these a preventive prescription of "wide-open eyes." bites and stings of insects.--wash with a solution of ammonia water. bites of mad dogs.--apply caustic potash at once to the wound, and give enough whiskey to cause sleep. burns.--make a paste of common baking soda and water, and apply it promptly to the burn. it will quickly check the pain and inflammation. cold on chest.--a flannel rag wrung out in boiling water and sprinkled with turpentine, laid on the chest, gives the greatest relief. cough.--boil one ounce of flaxseed in a pint of water, strain, and add a little honey, one ounce of rock candy, and the juice of three lemons. mix and boil well. drink as hot as possible. sprained ankle or wrist.--wash the ankle very frequently with cold salt and water, which is far better than warm vinegar or decoction of herbs. keep the foot as cool as possible to prevent inflammation, and sit with it elevated on a high cushion. live on low diet, and take every morning some cooling medicine, such as epsom salts. it cures in a few days. chilblains, sprains, etc.--one raw egg well beaten, half a pint of vinegar, one ounce spirits of turpentine, a quarter of an ounce of spirits of wine, a quarter of an ounce of camphor. these ingredients to be beaten together, then put in a bottle and shaken for ten minutes, after which, to be corked down tightly to exclude the air. in half an hour it is fit for use. to be well rubbed in, two, three, or four times a day. for rheumatism in the head, to be rubbed at the back of the neck and behind the ears. in chilblains this remedy is to be used before they are broken. how to remove superfluous hair.--sulphuret of arsenic, one ounce; quicklime, one ounce; prepared lard, one ounce; white wax, one ounce. melt the wax, add the lard. when nearly cold, stir in the other ingredients. apply to the superfluous hair, allowing it to remain on from five to ten minutes; use a table-knife to shave off the hair; then wash with soap and warm water. dyspepsia cure.--powdered rhubarb, two drachms: bicarbonate of sodium, six drachms; fluid extract of gentian, three drachms; peppermint water, seven and a half ounces. mix them. dose, a teaspoonful half an hour before meals. for neuralgia.--tincture of belladonna, one ounce; tincture of camphor, one ounce; tincture of arnica, one ounce; tincture of opium, one ounce. mix them. apply over the seat of the pain, and give ten to twenty drops in sweetened water every two hours. for coughs, colds, etc.--syrup of morphia, three ounces; syrup of tar, three and a half ounces; chloroform, one troy ounce; glycerine, one troy ounce. mix them. dose, a teaspoonful three or four times a day. to cure hives.--compound syrup of squill, u.s., three ounces; syrup of ipecac, u.s., one ounce. mix them. dose, a teaspoonful. to cure sick headache.--gather sumach leaves in the summer, and spread them in the sun a few days to dry. then powder them fine, and smoke, morning and evening for two weeks, also whenever there are symptoms of approaching headache. use a new clay pipe. if these directions are adhered to, this medicine will surely effect a permanent cure. whooping cough.--dissolve a scruple of salt of tartar in a gill of water; add to it ten grains of cochineal; sweeten it with sugar. give to an infant a quarter teaspoonful four times a day; two years old, one-half teaspoonful; from four years, a tablespoonful. great care is required in the administration of medicines to infants. we can assure paternal inquirers that the foregoing may be depended upon. cut or bruise.--apply the moist surface of the inside coating or skin of the shell of a raw egg. it will adhere of itself, leave no scar, and heal without pain. disinfectant.--chloride of lime should be scattered at least once a week under sinks and wherever sewer gas is likely to penetrate. [illustration: the young doctor.] costiveness.--common charcoal is highly recommended for costiveness. it may be taken in tea- or tablespoonful, or even larger doses, according to the exigencies of the case, mixed with molasses, repeating it as often as necessary. bathe the bowels with pepper and vinegar. or take two ounces of rhubarb, add one ounce of rust of iron, infuse in one quart of wine. half a wineglassful every morning. or take pulverized blood root, one drachm, pulverized rhubarb, one drachm, castile soap, two scruples. mix and roll into thirty-two pills. take one, morning and night. by following these directions it may perhaps save you from a severe attack of the piles, or some other kindred disease. to cure deafness.--obtain pure pickerel oil, and apply four drops morning and evening to the ear. great care should be taken to obtain oil that is perfectly pure. deafness.--take three drops of sheep's gall, warm and drop it into the ear on going to bed. the ear must be syringed with warm soap and water in the morning. the gall must be applied for three successive nights. it is only efficacious when the deafness is produced by cold. the most convenient way of warming the gall is by holding it in a silver spoon over the flame of a light. the above remedy has been frequently tried with perfect success. gout.--this is col. birch's recipe for rheumatic gout or acute rheumatism, commonly called in england the "chelsea pensioner." half an ounce of nitre (saltpetre), half an ounce of sulphur, half an ounce of flour of mustard, half an ounce of turkey rhubarb, quarter of an ounce of powdered guaicum. mix, and take a teaspoonful every other night for three nights, and omit three nights, in a wineglassful of cold water which has been previously well boiled. ringworm.--the head is to be washed twice a day with soft soap and warm soft water; when dried the places to be rubbed with a piece of linen rag dipped in ammonia from gas tar; the patient should take a little sulphur and molasses, or some other genuine aperient, every morning; brushes and combs should be washed every day, and the ammonia kept tightly corked. piles.--hamamelis, both internally or as an injection in rectum. bathe the parts with cold water or with astringent lotions, as alum water, especially in bleeding piles. ointment of gallic acid and calomel is of repute. the best treatment of all is, suppositories of iodoform, ergotine, of tannic acid, which can be made at any drug store. chicken pox.--no medicine is usually needed, except a tea made from pleurisy root, to make the child sweat. milk diet is the best; avoidance of animal food; careful attention to the bowels; keep cool and avoid exposure to cold. scarlet fever.--cold water compress on the throat. fats and oils rubbed on hands and feet. the temperature of the room should be about degrees fahr., and all draughts avoided. mustard baths for retrocession of the rash and to bring it out. diet: ripe fruit, toast, gruel, beef, tea and milk. stimulants are useful to counteract depression of the vital forces. false measles or rose rash.--it requires no treatment except hygienic. keep the bowels open. nourishing diet, and if there is itching, moisten the skin with five per cent. solution of aconite or solution of starch and water. bilious attacks.--drop doses of muriatic acid in a wine glass of water every four hours, or the following prescription: bicarbonate of soda, one drachm; aromatic spirits of ammonia, two drachms; peppermint water, four ounces. dose: take a teaspoonful every four hours. diarrhoea.--the following prescription is generally all that will be necessary: acetate of lead, eight grains; gum arabic, two drachms; acetate of morphia, one grain; and cinnamon water, eight ounces. take a teaspoonful every three hours. be careful not to eat too much food. some consider, the best treatment is to fast, and it is a good suggestion. patients should keep quiet and have the room of a warm and even temperature. vomiting.--ice dissolved in the mouth, often cures vomiting when all remedies fail. much depends on the diet of persons liable to such attacts; this should be easily digestible food, taken often and in small quantities. vomiting can often be arrested by applying a mustard paste over the region of the stomach. it is not necessary to allow it to remain until the parts are blistered, but it may be removed when the part becomes thoroughly red, and reapplied if required after the redness has disappeared. one of the secrets to relieve vomiting is to give the stomach perfect rest, not allowing the patient even a glass of water, as long as the tendency remains to throw it up again. nervous headache.--extract hyoscymus five grains, pulverized camphor five grains. mix. make four pills, one to be taken when the pain is most severe in nervous headache. or three drops tincture nux vomica in a spoonful of water, two or three times a day. bleeding from the nose.--from whatever cause--may generally be stopped by putting a plug of lint into the nostril; if this does not do, apply a cold lotion to the forehead; raise the head and place both arms over the head, so that it will rest on both hands; dip the lint plug, slightly moistened, in some powdered gum arabic, and plug the nostrils again; or dip the plug into equal parts of gum arabic and alum. an easier and simpler method is to place a piece of writing paper on the gums of the upper jaw, under the upper lip, and let it remain there for a few minutes. boils.--these should be brought to a head by warm poultices of camomile flowers, or boiled white lily root, or onion root, by fermentation with hot water, or by stimulating plasters. when ripe they should be destroyed by a needle or lancet. but this should not be attempted until they are thoroughly proved. bunions may be checked in their early development by binding the joint with adhesive plaster, and keeping it on as long as any uneasiness is felt. the bandaging should be perfect, and it might be well to extend it round the foot an inflamed bunion should be poulticed, and larger shoes be worn. iodine grains, lard or spermaceti ointment half an ounce, makes a capital ointment for bunions. it should be rubbed on gently twice or three times a day. felons.--one table-spoonful of red lead, and one tablespoonful of castile soap, and mix them with as much weak lye as will make it soft enough to spread like a salve, and apply it on the first appearance of the felon, and it will cure in ten or twelve days. care for warts.--the easiest way to get rid of warts, is to pare off the thickened skin which covers the prominent wart; cut it off by successive layers and shave it until you come to the surface of the skin, and till you draw blood in two or three places. then rub the part thoroughly over with lunar caustic, and one effective operation of this kind will generally destroy the wart; if not, you cut off the black spot which has been occasioned by the caustic, and apply it again; or you may apply acetic acid, and thus you will get rid of it. care must be taken in applying these acids, not to rub them on the skin around the wart. wens.--take the yoke of some eggs, beat up, and add as much fine salt as will dissolve, and apply a plaster to the wen every ten hours. it cures without pain or any other inconvenience. * * * * * how to cure apoplexy, bad breath and quinsy. . apoplexy.--apoplexy occurs only in the corpulent or obese, and those of gross or high living. _treatment_--raise the head to a nearly upright position; loosen all tight clothes, strings, etc., and apply cold water to the head and warm water and warm cloths to the feet. have the apartment cool and well ventilated. give nothing by the mouth until the breathing is relieved, and then only draughts of cold water. . bad breath.--bad or foul breath will be removed by taking a teaspoonful of the following mixture after each meal: one ounce chloride of soda, one ounce liquor of potassa, one and one-half ounces phosphate of soda, and three ounces of water. . quinsy.--this is an inflammation of the tonsils, or common inflammatory sore throat; commences with a slight feverish attack, with considerable pain and swelling of the tonsils, causing some difficulty in swallowing; as the attack advances, these symptoms become more intense, there is headache, thirst, a painful sense of tension, and acute darting pains in the ears. the attack is generally brought on by exposure to cold, and lasts from five to seven days, when it subsides naturally, or an abscess may form in tonsils and burst, or the tonsils may remain enlarged, the inflammation subsiding. _home treatment._--the patient should remain in a warm room, the diet chiefly milk and good broths, some cooling laxative and diaphoretic medicine may be given; but the greatest relief will be found in the frequent inhalation of the steam of hot water through an inhaler, or in the old-fashioned way through the spout of a teapot. * * * * * sensible rules for the nurse. "remember to be extremely neat in dress; a few drops of hartshorn in the water used for _daily_ bathing will remove the disagreeable odors of warmth and perspiration. "never speak of the symptoms of your patient in his presence, unless questioned by the doctor, whose orders you are always to obey _implicitly_. "remember never to be a gossip or tattler, and always to hold sacred the knowledge which, to a certain extent, you must obtain of the private affairs of your patient and the household in which you nurse. "never contradict your patient, nor argue with him, nor let him see that you are annoyed about anything. "never _whisper_ in the sick room. if your patient be well enough, and wishes you to talk to him, speak in a low, distinct voice, on cheerful subjects. don't relate painful hospital experiences, nor give details of the maladies of former patients, and remember never to startle him with accounts of dreadful crimes or accidents that you have read in the newspapers. "_write_ down the orders that the physician gives you as to time for giving the medicines, food, etc. "keep the room bright (unless the doctor orders it darkened). "let the air of the room be as pure as possible, and keep everything in order, but without being fussy and bustling. "the only way to remove dust in a sick room is to wipe everything with a damp cloth. "remember to carry out all vessels covered. empty and wash them immediately, and keep some disinfectant in them. "remember that to leave the patient's untasted food by his side, from meal to meal, in hopes that he will eat it in the interval, is simply to prevent him from taking any food at all. "medicines, beef tea or stimulants, should never be kept where the patient can see them or smell them. "light-colored clothing should be worn by those who have the care of the sick, in preference to dark-colored apparel; particularly if the disease is of a contagious nature. experiments have shown that black and other dark colors will absorb more readily the subtle effluvia that emanates from sick persons than white or light colors." * * * * * longevity. the following table exhibits very recent mortality statistics, showing the average duration of life among persons of various classes: employment. years. judges farmers bank officers coopers public officers clergymen shipwrights hatters lawyers rope makers blacksmiths merchants calico printers physicians butchers carpenters masons traders tailors jewelers manufacturers bakers painters shoemakers mechanics editors musicians printers machinists teachers clerks operatives "it will be easily seen, by these figures, how a quiet or tranquil life affects longevity. the phlegmatic man will live longer, all other things being equal, than the sanguine, nervous individual. marriage is favorable to longevity, and it has also been ascertained that women live longer than men." [illustration: hot water throat bag.] [illustration: hot water bag.] * * * * * how to apply and use hot water in all diseases. . the hot water throat bag. the hot water throat bag is made from fine white rubber fastened to the head by a rubber band (see illustration), and is an unfailing remedy for catarrh, hay fever, cold, toothache, headache, earache, neuralgia, etc. . the hot water bottle. no well regulated house should be without a hot water bottle. it is excellent in the application of hot water for inflammations, colic, headache, congestion, cold feet, rheumatism, sprains, etc., etc. it is an excellent warming pan and an excellent feet and hand warmer when riding. these hot water bags in any variety can be purchased at any drug store. . boiling water may be used in the bags and the heat will be retained many hours. they are soft and pliable and pleasant to the touch, and can be adjusted to any part of the body. . hot water is good for constipation, torpid liver and relieves colic and flatulence, and is of special value. . _caution._ when hot water bags or any hot fomentation is removed, replace dry flannel and bathe parts in tepid water and rub till dry. . by inflammations it is best to use hot water and then cold water. it seems to give more immediate relief. hot water is a much better remedy than drugs, paragoric, dover's powder or morphine. always avoid the use of strong poisonous drugs when possible. . those who suffer from cold feet there is no better remedy than to bathe the feet in cold water before retiring and then place a hot water bottle in the bed at the feet. a few weeks of such treatment results in relief if not cure of the most obstinate case. how to use cold water. use a compress of cold water for acute or chronic inflammation, such as sore throat, bronchitis, croup, inflammation of the lungs, etc. if there is a hot and aching pain in the back apply a compress of cold water on the same, or it may simply be placed across the back or around the body. the most depends upon the condition of the patient. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * practical rules for bathing. . bathe at least once a week all over, thoroughly. no one can preserve his health by neglecting personal cleanliness. remember, "cleanliness is akin to godliness." . only mild soap should be used in bathing the body. . wipe quickly and dry the body thoroughly with a moderately coarse towel. rub the skin vigorously. . many people have contracted severe and fatal diseases by neglecting to take proper care of the body after bathing. . if you get up a good reaction by thorough rubbing in a mild temperature, the effect is always good. . never go into a cold room, or allow cold air to enter the room until you are dressed. . bathing in cold rooms and in cold water is positively injurious, unless the person possesses a very strong and vigorous constitution, and then there is great danger of laying the foundation of some serious disease. . never bathe within two hours after eating. it injures digestion. . never bathe when the body or mind is much exhausted. it is liable to check the healthful circulation. . a good time for bathing is just before retiring. the morning hour is a good time also, if a warm room and warm water can be secured. . never bathe a fresh wound or broken skin with cold water; the wound absorbs water, and causes swelling and irritation. . a person not robust should be very careful in bathing; great care should be exercised to avoid any chilling effects. * * * * * all the different kinds of baths, and how to prepare them. the sulphur bath. for the itch, ringworm, itching, and for other slight irritations, bathe in water containing a little sulphur. the salt bath. to open the pores of the skin, put a little common salt into the water. borax, baking soda or lime used in the same way are excellent for cooling and cleansing the skin. a very small quantity in a bowl of water is sufficient. the vapor bath. . for catarrh, bronchitis, pleurisy, inflammation of the lungs, rheumatism, fever, affections of the bowels and kidneys, and skin diseases, the vapor-bath is an excellent remedy. . apparatus.--use a small alcohol lamp, and place over it a small dish containing water. light the lamp and allow the water to boil. place a cane bottom chair over the lamp, and seat the patient on it. wrap blankets or quilts around the chair and around the patient, closing it tightly about the neck. after free perspiration is produced the patient should be wrapped in warm blankets, and placed in bed, so as to continue the perspiration for some time. . a convenient alcohol lamp may be made by taking a tin box, placing a tube in it, and putting in a common lamp wick. any tinner can make one in a few minutes, at a trifling cost. the hot-air bath. . place the alcohol lamp under the chair, without the dish of water. then place the patient on the chair, as in the vapor bath, and let him remain until a gentle and free perspiration is produced. this bath may be taken from time to time, as may be deemed necessary. . while remaining in the hot-air bath the patient may drink freely of cold or tepid water. . as soon as the bath is over the patient should be washed with hot water and soap. . the hot-air bath is excellent for colds, skin diseases, and the gout. the sponge bath. . have a large basin of water of the temperature of or degrees. as soon as the patient rises rub the body over with a soft, dry towel until it becomes warm. . now sponge the body with water and a little soap, at the same time keeping the body well covered, except such portions as are necessarily exposed. then dry the skin carefully with a soft, warm towel. rub the skin well for two or three minutes, until every part becomes red and perfectly dry. . sulphur, lime or salt, and sometimes mustard, may be used in any of the sponge baths, according to the disease. the foot bath. . the foot bath, in coughs, colds, asthma, headaches and fevers, is excellent. one or two tablespoonfuls of ground mustard added to a gallon of hot water, is very beneficial. . heat the water as hot as the patient can endure it, and gradually increase the temperature by pouring in additional quantities of hot water during the bath. the sitz bath. a tub is arranged so that the patient can sit down in it while bathing. fill the tub about one-half full of water. this is an excellent remedy for piles, constipation, headache, gravel, and for acute and inflammatory affections generally. the acid bath. place a little vinegar in water, and heat to the usual temperature. this is an excellent remedy for the disorders of the liver. a sure cure for prickly heat. . prickly heat is caused by hot weather, by excess of flesh, by rough flannels, by sudden changes of temperature, or by over-fatigue. . treatment--bathe two or three times a day with warm water, in which a moderate quantity of bran and common soda has been stirred. after wiping the skin dry, dust the affected parts with common cornstarch. * * * * * digestibility of food. article of food; condition; hours required rice; boiled; . eggs, whipped; raw; . trout, salmon, fresh; boiled; . apples, sweet and mellow; raw; . venison steak; broiled; . tapioca; boiled; . barley; boiled; . milk; boiled; . bullock's liver, fresh; broiled; . fresh eggs; raw; . codfish, cured and dry; boiled; . milk; raw; . wild turkey; roasted; . domestic turkey; roasted; . ; goose; roasted; . suckling pig; roasted; . fresh lamb; broiled; . hash, meat and vegetables; warmed; . beans and pod; boiled; . parsnips; boiled; . irish potatoes; roasted; . chicken; fricassee; . custard; baked; . salt beef; boiled; . sour and hard apples; raw; . fresh oysters; raw; . fresh eggs; soft boiled; . beef, fresh, lean and rare; roasted; . beef steak; broiled; . pork, recently salted; stewed; . fresh mutton; boiled; . soup, beans; boiled; . soup, chicken; boiled; . apple dumpling; boiled; . fresh oysters; roasted; . pork steak; broiled; . fresh mutton; roasted; . corn bread; baked; . carrots; boiled; . fresh sausage; broiled; . fresh flounder; fried; . fresh catfish; fried; . fresh oysters; stewed; . butter; melted; . old, strong cheese; raw; . mutton soup; boiled; . oyster soup; boiled; . fresh wheat bread; baked; . flat turnips; boiled; . irish potatoes; boiled; . fresh eggs; hard boiled; . fresh eggs; fried; . green corn and beans; boiled; . beets, boiled; . fresh, lean beef; fried; . fresh veal; broiled; . domestic fowls; roasted; . ducks, roasted; . beef soup, vegetables and bread boiled; . pork, recently salted; boiled; . fresh veal; fried; . cabbage, with vinegar; boiled; . pork, fat and lean; roasted; . * * * * * how to cook for the sick. useful dietetic recipes. gruels. . oatmeal gruel.--stir two tablespoonfuls of coarse oatmeal into a quart of boiling water, and let it simmer two hours. strain, if preferred. . beef tea and oatmeal.--beat two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal, with two tablespoonfuls of cold water until very smooth, then add a pint of hot beef tea. boil together six or eight minutes, stirring constantly. strain through a fine sieve. . milk gruel.--into a pint of scalding milk stir two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal. add a pint of boiling water, and boil until the meal is thoroughly cooked. . milk porridge.--place over the fire equal parts of milk and water. just before it boils, add a small quantity (a tablespoonful to a pint of water) of graham flour or cornmeal, previously mixed with water, and boil three minutes. . sago gruel.--take two tablespoonfuls of sago and place them in a small saucepan, moisten gradually with a little cold water. set the preparation on a slow fire, and keep stirring till it becomes rather stiff and clear. add a little grated nutmeg and sugar to taste; if preferred, half a pat of butter may also be added with the sugar. . cream gruel.--put a pint and a half of water on the stove in a saucepan. take one tablespoon of flour and the same of cornmeal, mix this with cold water, and as soon as the water in the saucepan boils, stir it in slowly. let it boil slowly about twenty minutes, stirring constantly then add a little salt and a gill of sweet cream. do not let it boil after putting in the cream, but turn into a bowl and cover tightly. serve in a pretty cup and saucer. drinks. . apple water.--cut two large apples into slices and pour a quart of boiling water on them, or on roasted apples; strain in two or three hours and sweeten slightly. . orangeade.--take the thin peel of two oranges and of one lemon; add water and sugar the same as for hot lemonade. when cold add the juice of four or five oranges and one lemon and strain off. . hot lemonade.--take two thin slices and the juice of one lemon; mix with two tablespoonfuls of granulated sugar, and add one-half pint of boiling water. . flaxseed lemonade.--two tablespoonfuls of whole flaxseed to a pint of boiling water, let it steep three hours, strain when cool and add the juice of two lemons and two tablespoonfuls of honey. if too thick, put in cold water. splendid for colds and suppression of urine. . jelly water.--sour jellies dissolved in water make a pleasant drink for fever patients. . toast water.--toast several thin pieces of bread a slice deep brown, but do not blacken or burn. break into small pieces and put into a jar. pour over the pieces a quart of boiling water; cover the jar and let it stand an hour before using. strain if desired. . white of egg and milk.--the white of an egg beaten to a stiff froth, and stirred very quickly into a glass of milk, is a very nourishing food for persons whose digestion is weak, also for children who cannot digest milk alone. . egg cocoa.--one-half teaspoon cocoa with enough hot water to make a paste. take one egg, beat white and yolk separately. stir into a cup of milk heated to nearly boiling. sweeten if desired. very nourishing. . egg lemonade.--white of one egg, one tablespoonful pulverized sugar, juice of one lemon and one goblet of water. beat together. very grateful in inflammation of of lungs, stomach or bowels. . beef tea.--for every quart of tea desired use one pound of fresh beef, from which all fat, bones and sinews have been carefully removed; cut the beef into pieces a quarter of an inch thick and mix with a pint of cold water. let it stand an hour, then pour into a glass fruit can and place in a vessel of water; let it heat on the stove another hour, but do not let it boil. strain before using. jellies. . sago jelly.--simmer gently in a pint of water two tablespoonfuls of sago until it thickens, frequently stirring. a little sugar may be added if desired. . chicken jelly.--take half a raw chicken, tie in a coarse cloth and pound, till well mashed, bones and meat together. place the mass in a covered dish with water sufficient to cover it well. allow it to simmer slowly till the liquor is reduced about one-half and the meat is thoroughly cooked. press through a fine sieve or cloth, and salt to taste. place on the stove to simmer about five minutes when cold remove all particles of grease. . mulled jelly.--take one tablespoonful of currant or grape jelly; beat it with the white of one egg and a little loaf sugar; pour on it one-half pint of boiling water and break in a slice of dry toast or two crackers. . bread jelly.--pour boiling water over bread crumbs place the mixture on the fire and let it boil until it is perfectly smooth. take it off, and after pouring off the water, flavor with something agreeable, as a little raspberry or currant jelly water. pour into a mold until required for use. . lemon jelly.--moisten two tablespoonfuls of cornstarch, stir into one pint boiling water; add the juice of two lemons and one-half cup of sugar. grate in a little of the rind. put in molds to cool. miscellaneous. . to cook rice.--take two cups of rice and one and one-half pints of milk. place in a covered dish and steam in a kettle of boiling water until it is cooked through, pour into cups and let it stand until cold. serve with cream. . rice omelet.--two cups boiled rice, one cup sweet milk, two eggs. stir together with egg beater, and put into a hot buttered skillet. cook slowly ten minutes, stirring frequently. . browned rice.--parch or brown rice slowly. steep in milk for two hours. the rice or the milk only is excellent in summer complaint. . stewed oysters.--take one pint of milk, one cup of water, a teaspoon of salt; when boiling put in one pint of bulk oysters. stir occasionally and remove from the stove before it boils. an oyster should not be shriveled in cooking. . broiled oysters.--put large oysters on a wire toaster hold over hot coals until heated through. serve on toast moistened with cream. very grateful in convalescence. . oyster toast.--pour stewed oysters over graham or bread toasted. excellent for breakfast. . graham crisps.--mix graham flour and cold water into a very stiff dough. knead, roll very thin, and bake quickly in a hot oven. excellent food for dyspeptics. . apple snow.--take seven apples, not very sweet ones, and bake till soft and brown. then remove the skins and cores; when cool, beat them smooth and fine; add one-half cup of granulated sugar and the white of one egg. beat till the mixture will hold on your spoon. serve with soft custard. . eggs on toast.--soften brown bread toast with hot water, put on a platter and cover with poached or scrambled eggs. . boiled eggs.--an egg should never be boiled. place in boiling water and set back on the stove for from seven to ten minutes. a little experience will enable anyone to do it successfully. . cracked wheat pudding.--in a deep two-quart pudding dish put layers of cold, cooked, cracked wheat, and tart apples sliced thin, with four tablespoonfuls of sugar. raisins can be added if preferred. fill the dish, having the wheat last, add a cup of cold water. bake two hours. . pie for dyspeptics.--four tablespoonfuls of oatmeal, one pint of water; let stand for a few hours, or until the meal is swelled. then add two large apples, pared and sliced, a little salt, one cup of sugar, one tablespoonful of flour. mix all well together and bake in a buttered dish; makes a most delicious pie, which can be eaten with safety by the sick or well. . apple tapioca pudding.--soak a teacup of tapioca in a quart of warm water three hours. cut in thin slices six tart apples, stir them lightly with the tapioca, add half cup sugar. bake three hours. to be eaten with whipped cream. good either warm or cold. . graham muffins.--take one pint of new milk, one pint graham or entire wheat flour; stir together and add one beaten egg. can be baked in any kind of gem pans or muffin rings. salt must not be used with any bread that is made light with egg. . strawberry dessert.--place alternate layers of hot cooked cracked wheat and strawberries in a deep dish; when cold, turn out on platter; cut in slices and serve with cream and sugar, or strawberry juice. wet the molds with cold water before using. this, molded in small cups, makes a dainty dish for the sick. wheatlet can be used in the same way. . fruit blanc mange.--one quart of juice of strawberries, cherries, grapes or other juicy fruit; one cup water. when boiling, add two tablespoonfuls sugar and four tablespoonfuls cornstarch wet in cold water; let boil five or six minutes, then mold in small cups. serve without sauce, or with cream or boiled custard. lemon juice can be used the same, only requiring more water. this is a very valuable dish for convalescents and pregnant women, when the stomach rejects solid food. [illustration] * * * * * save the girls. . public balls.--the church should turn its face like flint against the public ball. its influence is evil, and nothing but evil. it is a well known fact that in all cities and large towns the ball room is the recruiting office for prostitution. . thoughtless young women.--in cities public balls are given every night, and many thoughtless young women, mostly the daughters of small tradesmen and mechanics, or clerks or laborers, are induced to attend "just for fun." scarcely one in a hundred of the girls attending these balls preserve their purity. they meet the most desperate characters, professional gamblers, criminals and the lowest debauchees. such an assembly and such influence cannot mean anything but ruin for an innocent girl. . vile women.--the public ball is always a resort of vile women who picture to innocent girls the ease and luxury of a harlot's life, and offer them all manner of temptations to abandon the paths of virtue. the public ball is the resort of the libertine and the adulterer, and whose object is to work the ruin of every innocent girl that may fall into their clutches. . the question.--why does society wonder at the increase of prostitution, when the public balls and promiscuous dancing is so largely endorsed and encouraged? . working girls.--thousands of innocent working girls enter innocently and unsuspectingly into the paths which lead them to the house of evil, or who wander the streets as miserable outcasts all through the influence of the dance. the low theatre and dance halls and other places of unselected gatherings are the milestones which mark the working girl's downward path from virtue to vice, from modesty to shame. . the saleswoman, the seamstress, the factory girl or any other virtuous girl had better, far better, die than take the first step in the path of impropriety and danger. better, a thousand times better, better for this life, better for the life to come, an existence of humble, virtuous industry than a single departure from virtue, even though it were paid with a fortune. . temptations.--there is not a young girl but what is more or less tempted by some unprincipled wretch who may have the reputation of a genteel society man. it behooves parents to guard carefully the morals of their daughters, and be vigilant and cautious in permitting them to accept the society of young men. parents who desire to save their daughters from a fate which is worse than death, should endeavor by every means in their power to keep them from falling into traps cunningly devised by some cunning lover. there are many good young men, but not all are safe friends to an innocent, confiding young girl. . prostitution.--some girls inherit their vicious tendency; others fall because of misplaced affections; many sin through a love of dress, which is fostered by society and by the surroundings amidst which they may be placed; many, very many, embrace a life of shame to escape poverty while each of these different phases of prostitution require a different remedy, we need better men, better women, better laws and better protection for the young girls. [illustration: a russian spinning girl.] . a startling fact.--startling as it may seem to some, it is a fact in our large cities that there are many girls raised by parents with no other aim than to make them harlots. at a tender age they are sold by fathers and mothers into an existence which is worse than slavery itself. it is not uncommon to see girls at the tender age of thirteen or fourteen--mere children--hardened courtesans, lost to all sense of shame and decency. they are reared in ignorance, surrounded by demoralizing influences, cut off from the blessings of church and sabbath school, see nothing but licentiousness, intemperance and crime. these young girls are lost forever. they are beyond the reach of the moralist or preacher and have no comprehension of modesty and purity. virtue to them is a stranger, and has been from the cradle. . a great wrong.--parents too poor to clothe themselves bring children into the world, children for whom they have no bread, consequently the girl easily falls a victim in early womanhood to the heartless libertine. the boy with no other schooling but that of the streets soon masters all the qualifications for a professional criminal. if there could be a law forbidding people to marry who have no visible means of supporting a family, or if they should marry, if their children could be taken from them and properly educated by the state, it would cost the country less and be a great step in advancing our civilization. . the first step.--thousands of fallen women could have been saved from lives of degradation and deaths of shame had they received more toleration and loving forgiveness in their first steps of error. many women naturally pure and virtuous have fallen to the lowest depths because discarded by friends, frowned upon by society, and sneered at by the world, after they had taken a single mis-step. society forgives man, but woman never. . in the beginning of every girl's downward career there is necessarily a hesitation. she naturally ponders over what course to take, dreading to meet friends and looking into the future with horror. that moment is the vital turning point in her career; a kind word of forgiveness, a mother's embrace a father's welcome may save her. the bloodhounds, known as the seducer, the libertine, the procurer, are upon her track; she is trembling on the frightful brink of the abyss. extend a helping hand and save her! . father, if your daughter goes astray, do not drive her from your home. mother, if your child errs, do not close your heart against her. sisters and brothers and friends, do not force her into the pathway of shame, but rather strive to win her back into the eden of virtue, an in nine cases out of ten you will succeed. . society evils.--the dance, the theater, the wine-cup, the race-course, the idle frivolity and luxury of summer watering places, all have a tendency to demoralize the young. . bad society.--much of our modern society admits libertines and seducers to the drawing-room, while it excludes their helpless and degraded victims, consequently it is not strange that there are skeletons in many closets, matrimonial infelicity and wayward girls. . "'know thyself,'" says dr. saur, "is an important maxim for us all, and especially is it true for girls. "all are born with the desire to become attractive girls especially want to grow up, not only attractive, but beautiful. some girls think that bright eyes, pretty hair and fine clothes alone make them beautiful. this is not so. real beauty depends upon good health, good manners and a pure mind. "as the happiness of our girls depends upon their health, it behoves us all to guide the girls in such a way as to bring forward the best of results. . "there is no one who stands so near the girl as the mother. from early childhood she occupies the first place in the little one's confidence she laughs, plays, and corrects, when necessary, the faults of her darling. she should be equally ready to guide in the important laws of life and health upon which rest her future. teach your daughters that in all things the 'creative principle' has its source in life itself. it originates from divine life, and when they know that it may be consecrated to wise and useful purposes, they are never apt to grow up with base thoughts or form bad habits. their lives become a happiness to themselves and a blessing to humanity. . teach wisely.--"teach your daughters that _all life_ originates from a seed a germ. knowing this law, you need have no fears that base or unworthy thoughts of the reproductive function can ever enter their minds. the growth, development and ripening of human seed becomes a beautiful and sacred mystery. the tree, the rose and all plant life are equally as mysterious and beautiful in their reproductive life. does not this alone prove to us, conclusively, that there is a divinity in the background governing, controlling and influencing our lives? nature has no secrets, and why should we? none at all. the only care we should experience is in teaching wisely. "yes lead them wisely teach them that the seed, the germ of a new life, is maturing within them. teach them that between the ages of eleven and fourteen this maturing process has certain physical signs. the breasts grow round and full, the whole body, even the voice, undergoes a change. it is right that they should be taught the natural law of life in reproduction and the physiological structure of their being. again we repeat that these lessons should be taught by the mother, and in a tender, delicate and confidential way. become, oh, mother, your daughter's companion, and she will not go elsewhere for this knowledge which must come to all in time, but possibly too late and through sources that would prove more harm than good. . the organs of creative life in women are: ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, vagina and mammary glands. the _ovaries_ and _fallopian tubes_ have already been described under "the female generative organs." "the _uterus_ is a pear-shaped muscular organ, situated in the lower portion of the pelvis, between the bladder and the rectum. it is less than three inches in length and two inches in width and one in thickness. "the _vagina_ is a membranous canal which joins the internal outlet with the womb, which projects slightly into it. the opening into the vagina is nearly oval, and in those who have never indulged in sexual intercourse or in handling the sexual organs is more or less closed by a membrane termed the _hymen_. the presence of this membrane was formerly considered as undoubted evidence of virginity; its absence, a lack of chastity. "the _mammary glands_ are accessory to the generative organs. they secrete milk, which the all-wise gatherer provided for the nourishment of the child after birth. . "menstruation, which appears about the age of thirteen years, is the flow from the uterus that occurs every month as the seed-germ ripens in the ovaries. god made the sexual organs so that the race should not die out. he gave them to us so that we may reproduce life, and thus fill the highest position in the created universe. the purpose for which they are made is high and holy and honorable, and if they are used only for this purpose and they must not be used at all until they are fully matured they will be a source of greatest blessing to us all. [illustration: the two paths--what will the girl become? at : bad literature at : flirting & coquettery at : fast life & dissipation at : an outcast at : study & obedience at : virtue & devotion at : a loving mother at : an honored grandmother] . "a careful study of this organ, of its location, of its arteries and nerves, will convince the growing girl that her body should never submit to corsets and tight lacing in response to the demands of fashion, even though nature has so bountifully provided for the safety of this important organ. by constant pressure the vagina and womb may be compressed into one-third their natural length or crowded into an unnatural position. we can readily see, then, the effect of lacing or tight clothing. under these circumstances the ligaments lose their elasticity, and as a result we have prolapsus or falling of the womb. . "i am more anxious for growing girls than for any other earthly object. these girls are to be the mothers of future generations; upon them hangs the destiny of the world in coming time, and if they can be made to understand what is right and what is wrong with regard to their own bodies now, while they are young, the children they will give birth to and the men and women who shall call them mother will be of a higher type and belong to a nobler class than those of the present day. . "all women cannot have good features, but they can look well, and it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much of the figure. the first step to good looks is good health, and the first element of health is cleanliness. keep clean wash freely, bathe regularly. all the skin wants is leave to act, and it takes care of itself. . "girls sometimes get the idea that it is nice to be 'weak' and 'delicate,' but they cannot get a more false idea! god meant women to be strong and able-bodied, and only by being so can they be happy and capable of imparting happiness to others. it is only by being strong and healthy that they can be perfect in their sexual nature; and it is only by being perfect in this part of their being that you can become a noble, grand and beautiful woman. . "up to the age of puberty, if the girl has grown naturally, waist, hips and shoulders are about the same in width, the shoulders being, perhaps, a trifle the broadest. up to this time the sexual organs have grown but little. now they take a sudden start and need more room. nature aids the girls; the tissues and muscles increase in size and the pelvis bones enlarge. the limbs grow plump, the girl stops growing tall and becomes round and full. unsuspected strength comes to her; tasks that were once hard to perform are now easy; her voice becomes sweeter and stronger. the mind develops more rapidly even than the body; her brain is more active and quicker; subjects that once were dull and dry have unwonted interest; lessons are more easily learned; the eyes sparkle with intelligence, indicating increased mental power; her manner denotes the consciousness of new power; toys of childhood are laid away; womanly thoughts and pursuits fill her mind; budding childhood has become blooming womanhood. now, if ever, must be laid the foundation of physical vigor and of a healthy body. girls should realize the significance of this fact. do not get the idea that men admire a weakly, puny, delicate, small-waisted, languid, doll-like creature, a libel on true womanhood. girls admire men with broad chests, square shoulders, erect form, keen bright eyes, hard muscles and undoubted vigor. men also turn naturally to healthy, robust, well-developed girls, and to win their admiration girls must meet their ideals. a good form, a sound mind and a healthy body are within the reach of nine out of ten of our girls by proper care and training. physical bankruptcy may claim the same proportion if care and training are neglected. . "a woman five feet tall should measure two feet around the waist and thirty-three inches around the hips. a waist less than this proportion indicates compression either by lacing or tight clothing. exercise in the open air, take long walks and vigorous exercise, using care not to overdo it. housework will prove a panacea for many of the ills which flesh is heir to. one hour's exercise at the wash-tub is of far more value, from a physical standpoint, than hours at the piano. boating is most excellent exercise and within the reach of many. care in dressing is also important, and, fortunately, fashion is coming to the rescue here. it is essential that no garments be suspended from the waist. let the shoulders bear the weight of all the clothing, so that the organs of the body may be left free and unimpeded. . "sleep should be had regularly and abundantly. avoid late hours, undue excitement, evil associations; partake of plain, nutritious food, and health will be your reward. there is one way of destroying health, which, fortunately, is not as common among girls as boys, and which must be mentioned ere this chapter closes. self-abuse is practised among growing girls to such an extent as to arouse serious alarm. many a girl has been led to handle and play with her sexual organs through the advice of some girl who has obtained temporary pleasure in that way; or, perchance, chafing has been followed by rubbing until the organs have become congested with blood, and in this accidental manner the girl discovered what seems to her a source of pleasure, but which, alas, is a source of misery, and even death. . "as in the boy, so in the girl, self-abuse causes an undue amount of blood to flow to those organs, thus depriving other parts of the body of its nourishment, the weakest part first showing the effect of want of sustenance. all that has been said upon this loathsome subject in the preceding chapter for boys might well be repeated here, but space forbids. read that chapter again, and know that the same signs that betray the boy will make known the girl addicted to the vice. the bloodless lips, the dull, heavy eye surrounded with dark rings, the nerveless hand, the blanched cheek, the short breath, the old, faded look, the weakened memory and silly irritability tell the story all too plainly. the same evil result follows, ending perhaps in death, or worse, in insanity. aside from the injury the girl does herself by yielding to this habit, there is one other reason which appeals to the conscience, and that is, self-abuse is an offence against moral law it is putting to a vile, selfish use the organs which were given for a high, sacred purpose. . "let them alone, except to care for them when care is needed, and they may prove the greatest blessing you have ever known. they were given you that you might become a mother, the highest office to which god has ever called one of his creatures. do not debase yourself and become lower than the beasts of the field. if this habit has fastened itself upon any one of our readers, stop it now. do not allow yourself to think about it, give up all evil associations, seek pure companions, and go to your mother, older sister, or physician for advice. . "and you, mother, knowing the danger that besets your daughters at this critical period, are you justified in keeping silent? can you be held guiltless if your daughter ruins body and mind because you were too modest to tell her the laws of her being? there is no love that is dearer to your daughter than yours, no advice that is more respected than yours, no one whose warning would be more potent. fail not in your duty. as motherhood has been your sweetest joy, so help your daughter to make it hers." [illustration: young garfield driving team on the canal.] * * * * * save the boys. plain words to parents. . with a shy look, approaching his mother when she was alone, the boy of fifteen said, "there are some things i want to ask you. i hear the boys speak of them at school, and i don't understand, and a fellow doesn't like to ask any one but his mother." . drawing him down to her, in the darkness that was closing about them, the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely of things which everybody must know sooner or later, and which no boy should learn from "anyone but his mother" or father. . if you do not answer such a natural question your boy will turn for answer to others, and learn things, perhaps, which your cheeks may well blush to have him know. . our boys and girls are growing faster than we think. the world moves; we can no longer put off our children with the old nurses' tales; even macdonald's beautiful statement, "out of the everywhere into the there", does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask, "where did i come from?" . they must be answered. if we put them off, they may be tempted to go elsewhere for information, and hear half-truths, or whole truths so distorted, so mingled with what is low and impure that, struggle against it as they may in later years, their minds will always retain these early impressions. . it is not so hard if you begin early. the very flowers are object lessons. the wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower, with its stamens, pistils and ovaries. every child knows how an egg came in the nest, and takes it as a matter of course; why not go one step farther with them and teach the wonder, the beauty, the holiness that surrounds maternity anywhere? why, centuries ago the romans honored, and taught their boys to honor, the women in whose safety was bound up the future of their existence as a nation! why should we do less? . your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, need to be wisely taught and guarded just along these lines, if your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, are to grow up into a pure, healthy, christian manhood and womanhood. [illustration] .[_footnote: this quotation is an appeal to mothers by mrs. p.b. saur, m.d._] "how grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled! his complexion clear, his muscles firm, his movements vigorous, his manner frank, his courage undaunted, his brain active, his will firm, his self-control perfect, his body and mind unfolding day by day. his life should be one song of praise and thanksgiving. if you want your boy to be such a one, train him, my dear woman, _to-day_, and his _to-morrow_ will take care of itself. . "think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit? a thousand times, no! as we sow, so shall we reap. train your boys in morality, temperance and virtue. teach them to embrace good and shun evil. teach them the true from the false; the light from the dark. teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own, they commit a sin. teach them that _sin means disobedience of god's laws of every kind_. . "god made every organ of our body with the intention that it should perform a certain work. if we wish to see, we use our eyes; if we want to hear, our ears are called into use. in fact, nature teaches us the proper use of _all our organs_. i say to you, mother, and oh, so earnestly: 'go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed to do, about these organs that make him _specially a boy_.' . "teach him they are called _sexual organs_; that they are not impure, but of special importance, and made by god for a definite purpose. teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in fluid form called urine, and that it passes through the sexual organs, but that nature takes care of that. teach him that these organs are given as a sacred trust, that in maturer years he may be the means of giving life to those who shall live forever. . "impress upon him that if these organs are abused, or if they are put to any use besides that for which god made them and he did not intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown they will bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which god has made to govern them. if he has ever learned to handle his _sexual organs_, or to touch them in any way except to keep them clean, not to do it again. if he does he will not grow up happy, healthy and strong. . "teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' the whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited in any manner whatever. teach them to shun all children who indulge in this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. the sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. for, although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of self-abuse will ruin both soul and body. . "if the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less amount of blood than they ought to have. the sexual organs, too, are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak. . "it lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart disease. it weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. it even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide. how often mothers see their little boys handling themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. i say to you who love your boys 'watch!' . "don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm. the boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health, poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the foundation for future misery. . "do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and living truths. do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from this time on keep this thought in mind 'the saving of your boy.' follow its teachings and you will bless god as long as you live. read it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice. . "right here we want to emphasize the importance of _cleanliness_. we verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of thorough washing. . "it is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. this irritation being removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. the argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high physical state of those people who have practiced the custom. . "happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this direction, while her boy is still a child. for those mothers, though, whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon them, and _you_, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'begin at once; it is never too late.' if he has not lost all will power, he can be saved. let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and follow his advice. simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and congenial employment will do much. do not let the mind dwell upon evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational novels, and keep the thoughts pure. . "let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs, participate in sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. let us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of god.' god has given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence, for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or misery in the future. it is here that we decide our destiny, and our efforts to know and obey god's laws in our bodies as well as in our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but never-ending happiness throughout eternity." . a question. how can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family of pure, clean-minded children? let the echo answer. [illustration: "suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven-"--_matt. : _] * * * * * the inhumanities of parents. . not long ago a presbyterian minister in western new york whipped his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. the little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. think of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a tiger upon a lamb, and with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues of a child's body. see its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear. . how often is this the case in the punishment of children all over this broad land! death is not often the immediate consequence of this brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and the mind by fright seriously injured. . everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? add to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of child-torture. . who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn condition? . would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or cutting or burning for whipping? it would, however, be easy to show that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows many children receive. why may not lying be as legitimately cured by blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with a ruler or whip? the principle is the same; and if the principle is right, why not multiply methods? . how many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty, inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. yet the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper impression on the child's mind. [illustration] . we do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition by the parents. children can soon be made to understand the necessity of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching them self-denial. deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness and without any yielding. children will soon learn obedience if they see the parents are sincere. lessons of home government can be learned by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school. . the trouble is, many parents need more government, more training and more discipline than the little ones under their control. . scores of times during the day a child is told in a short, authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. when we speak to an elder person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the same person making the request of a child will say, _"shut the door."_ _"bring me the chair."_ _"stop that noise."_ _"sit down there."_ whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon learn to imitate the example. . on the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying "please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a rebuke and a look of scorn at once. often a child insists on having a book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an outcry is raised: "such rudeness;" "such an ill-mannered child;" "his parents must have neglected him strangely." not at all: the parents may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not to do these precise things which you dislike. but they themselves have been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old one which weighs example over against precept. . it is a bad policy to be rude to children. a child will win and be won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better manners than its parents. give them a good example and take pains in teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved children. . never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. it is the way criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned. . but there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. there are thousands of young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the ignorance or indifference of parents. . parents of course love their children, but with that love there is a responsibility that cannot be shirked. the government and training of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention often much more than the claims of business. . parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home. remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your children, depend upon it. . criminals and heredity. wm. m.f. round was for many years in charge of the house of refuge on randall's island, new york, and his opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the new york observer: "among this large number of young offenders i can state with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of criminal parents; and with equal confidence i am able to say that the common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training, in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil associations and influences. it was this knowledge that led to the establishing of the house of refuge nearly three-quarters of a century ago." . bad training. thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in the united states that criminals are made either by the indifference or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without proper judgment and knowledge. give your children a good example, and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not. a child should never be told twice to do the same thing. teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule. do it kindly but firmly. . if your children do not obey or respect you in their childhood and youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their character for future usefulness and good citizenship? . the fundamental rule. never tell a child twice to do the same thing. command the respect of your children, and there will be no question as to obedience. * * * * * chastity and purity of character. [illustration] . chastity is the purest and brightest jewel in human character. dr. pierce in his widely known _medical adviser_ says: for the full and perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is necessary. the health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse. therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. only in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals, and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious rewards of virtue. impurity travels downward with intemperance, obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. a dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of human suffering, iniquity and despair. the penalties which follow a violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly retributive. . the union of the sexes in holy matrimony is a law of nature, finding sanction in both morals and legislation. even some of the lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to blush other animals more highly endowed. it seems important to discuss this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead to ruin. . sexual propensities are possessed by all, and these must be held in abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. hence parents ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties, to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the blood into healthful channels. vigorous employment of mind and body engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of the sexual desires. _give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. stimulate the methods of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character._ . ignorance does not mean innocence.--it is a current idea, especially among our good common people, that the child should be kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was created or came into the world. this is a great mistake. parents must know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously enlightened on these important truths by the parent. the parent must give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure to meet outside the parental roof. the child cannot get through the a, b, c period of school without it. . conflicting views.--there is a great difference of opinion regarding the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature: some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best to have them over-wise while they are so young. wait a while." that is just the point (_they will find it out_), and we ask in all candor, is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother, untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl at school? mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl? . delay is fraught with danger.--knowledge on a subject so vitally connected with moral health must not be deferred. it is safe to say that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest, reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's laws regarding parenthood. and ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and pure parent. now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish mind. but remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one chapter, it is as important as the lessons of love and duty. . the first lessons.--should you be asked by your four or five-year old, "mamma, where did you get me?" instead of saying, "the doctor brought you," or "god made you and a stork brought you from babyland on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary question. one mother's explanation was something like this: "my dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little chickens are made. your dolly was made, but it has no life like you have. god has provided that all living things such as plants, trees, little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from seeds or little tiny eggs. apples grow, little chickens grow, little babies grow. apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. baby chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen for a certain time. baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is so small you cannot see it with just your eye." this was not given at once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal life. it may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully understood. . the second lesson.--the second lesson came with the question, "but _where_ is the nest?" the ice is now broken, as it were; it was an easy matter for the mother to say, "the nest in which you grew, dear, was close to your mother's heart inside her body. all things that do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the mother's body." it may be that this mother had access to illustrations of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child, a boy. he was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. it meant nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. the subject of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught that the _sexual organs_ were made for a high and holy purpose, that their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle his _sexual organs_ nor touch them in any way except to keep them clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and healthy boy. but if he excites or _abuses_ them, he will become puny, sickly and unhappy. all this was explained in language pure and simple. there is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge. . silly dirty trash.--but i hear some mother say "such silly dirty trash to tell a child!" it is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's untarnished truth. god has ordained that children should thus be brought into the world, do you call the works of god silly? remember, kind mother, and don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children, boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it, and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper, perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides you nave lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these matters. they will never come to mamma for information on these subjects. and, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life will make you their confidant as they ought? will your beautiful daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them? will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's lap? i think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her affections. you have kept knowledge from her that she had a right to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of menstruation. troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. you know the results she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day. you, her mother, over fastidious, _so very nice_ you would never mention "_such silly trash_" but by your consummate foolishness and mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect you as she ought. . "knowledge the preserver of purity."--laura e. scammon, writing on this subject, in the arena of november, , says: "when questions arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to the comprehension of the child. treat nature and her laws always with serious, respectful attention. treat the holy mysteries of parenthood reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded all others the law of love. say it and sing it, play it and pray it into the soul of your child, that _love is lord of all_." . conclusion of the whole matter.--observation and common sense should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright promising boys wrecked by _self-abuse or social impurity_. make your children your confidants early in life, especially in these things, have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless, debased son. * * * * * exciting the passions in children. . conversation before children.--the conduct and conversation of adults before children and youth, how often have i blushed with shame, and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and especially of mothers, to their children: "john, go and kiss harriet, for she is your sweet-heart." well may shame make him hesitate and hang his head. "why, john, i did not think you so great a coward. afraid of the girls, are you? that will never do. come, go along, and hug and kiss her. there, that's a man. i guess you will love the girls yet." continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till he really selects a sweet-heart. . the loss of maiden purity and natural delicacy.--i will not lift the veil, nor expose the conduct of children among themselves. and all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities which surfeit their own. what could more effectually wear off that natural delicacy, that maiden purity and bashfulness, which form the main barriers against the influx of vitiated amativeness? how often do those whose modesty has been worn smooth, even take pleasure in thus saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and innocence, merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion upon them; little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the barriers of their virtue, and prematurely kindling the fires of animal passion! . balls. parties and amusements.--the entire machinery of balls and parties, of dances and other amusements of young people, tend to excite and inflame this passion. thinking it a fine thing to get in love, they court and form attachments long before either their mental or physical powers are matured. of course, these young loves, these green-house exotics, must be broken off, and their miserable subjects left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion, which, if left alone, would have slumbered on for years, till they were prepared for its proper management and exercise. . sowing the seeds for future ruin.--nor is it merely the conversation of adults that does all this mischief; their manners also increase it. young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen years old, kiss them, press them, and play with them so as, in a great variety of ways, to excite their innocent passions, combined, i grant, with friendship and refinement--for all this is genteely done. they intend no harm, and parents dream of none: and yet their embryo love is awakened, to be again still more easily excited. maiden ladies, and even married women, often express similar feelings towards lads, not perhaps positively improper in themselves, yet injurious in their ultimate effects. . reading novels.--how often have i seen girls not twelve years old, as hungry for a story or novel as they should be for their dinners! a sickly sentimentalism is thus formed, and their minds are sullied with impure desires. every fashionable young lady must of course read every new novel, though nearly all of them contain exceptionable allusions, perhaps delicately covered over with a thin gauze of fashionable refinement; yet, on that very account, the more objectionable. if this work contained one improper allusion to their ten, many of those fastidious ladies who now eagerly devour the vulgarities of dumas, and the double-entendres of bulwer, and even converse with gentlemen about their contents, would discountenance or condemn it as improper. _shame on novel-reading women_; for they cannot have pure minds or unsullied feelings, but cupid and the beaux, and waking of dreams of love, are fast consuming their health and virtue. . theater-going.--theaters and theatrical dancing, also inflame the passions, and are "the wide gate" of "the broad road" of moral impurity. fashionable music is another, especially the verses set to it, being mostly love-sick ditties, or sentimental odes, breathing this tender passion in its most melting and bewitching strains. improper prints often do immense injury in this respect, as do also balls, parties, annuals, newspaper articles, exceptional works, etc. . the conclusion of the whole matter.--stop for one moment and think for yourself and you will be convinced that the sentiment herein announced is for your good and the benefit of all mankind. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * puberty, virility and hygienic laws. . what is puberty?--the definition is explained in another portion of this book, but it should be understood that it is not a prompt or immediate change; it is a slow extending growth and may extend for many years. the ripening of physical powers do not take place when the first signs of puberty appear. . proper age.--the proper age for puberty should vary from twelve to eighteen years. as a general rule, in the more vigorous and the more addicted to athletic exercise or out-door life, this change is slower in making its approach. . hygienic attention.--youths at this period should receive special private attention. they should be taught the purpose of the sexual organs and the proper hygienic laws that govern them, and they should also be taught to rise in the morning and not to lie in bed after waking up, because it is largely owing to this habit that the secret vice is contracted. one of the common causes of premature excitement in many boys is a tight foreskin. it may cause much evil and ought always to be remedied. ill-fitting garments often cause much irritation in children and produce unnatural passions. it is best to have boys sleep in separate beds and not have them sleep together if it can be avoided. . proper influence.--every boy and girl should be carefully trained to look with disgust on everything that is indecent in word or action. let them be taught a sense of shame in doing shameful things, and teach them that modesty is honorable, and that immodesty is indecent and dishonorable. careful training at the proper age may save many a boy or girl from ruin. . sexual passions.--the sexual passions may be a fire from heaven, or a subtle flame from hell. it depends upon the government and proper control. the noblest and most unselfish emotions take their arise in the passion of sex. its sweet influence, its elevating ties, its vibrations and harmony, all combine to make up the noble and courageous traits of man. . when passions begin.--it is thought by some that passions begin at the age of puberty, but the passions may be produced as early as five or ten years. all depends upon the training or the want of it. self-abuse is not an uncommon evil at the age of eight or ten. a company of bad boys often teach an innocent child that which will develop his ruin. a boy may feel a sense of pleasure at eight and produce a slight discharge, but not of semen. thus it is seen that parents may by neglect do their child the greatest injury. . false modesty.--let there be no false modesty on part of the parents. give the child the necessary advice and instructions as soon as necessary. . the man unsexed, by mutilation or masturbation. eunuchs are proverbial for tenor cruelty and crafty and unsympathizing dispositions. their mental powers are feeble and their physical strength is inferior. they lack courage and physical endurance. when a child is operated upon before the age of puberty, the voice retains its childish treble, the limbs their soft and rounded outlines, and the neck acquires a feminine fulness; no beard makes its appearance. in ancient times and up to this time in oriental nations eunuchs are found. they are generally slaves who have suffered mutilation at a tender age. it is a scientific fact that where boys have been taught the practice of masturbation in their early years, say from eight to fourteen years of age, if they survive at all they often have their powers reduced to a similar condition of a eunuch. they generally however suffer a greater disadvantage. their health will be more or less injured. in the eunuch the power of sexual intercourse is not entirely lost, but of course there is sterility, and little if any satisfaction, and the same thing may be true of the victim of self-abuse. . signs of virility.--as the young man develops in strength and years the sexual appetite will manifest itself. the secretion of the male known as the seed or semen depends for the life-transmitting power upon little minute bodies called spermatozoa. these are very active and numerous in a healthy secretion, being many hundreds in a single drop and a single one of them is capable to bring about conception in a female. dr. napheys in his "transmission of life," says: "the secreted fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero for four days, yet when it was thawed these animalcules, as they are supposed to be, were as active as ever. they are not, however, always present, and when present may be of variable activity. in young men, just past puberty, and in aged men, they are often scarce and languid in motion." at the proper age the secretion is supposed to be the most active, generally at the age of twenty-five, and decreases as age increases. . hygienic rule.--the man at mid-life should guard carefully his passions and the husband his virile powers, and as the years progress, steadily wean himself more from his desire, for his passions will become weaker with age and any excitement in middle life may soon debilitate and destroy his virile powers. . follies of youth.--dr. napheys says: "not many men can fritter away a decade or two of years in dissipation and excess, and ever hope to make up their losses by rigid surveillance in later years." "the sins of youth are expiated in age," is a proverb which daily examples illustrate. in proportion as puberty is precocious, will decadence be premature; the excesses of middle life draw heavily on the fortune of later years. "the mill of the gods grinds slow, but it grinds exceedingly fine," and though nature may be a tardy creditor, she is found at last to be an inexorable one. * * * * * our secret sins. . passions.--every healthful man has sexual desires and he might as well refuse to satisfy his hunger as to deny their existence. the creator has given us various appetites intended they should be indulged, and has provided the means. . reason.--while it is true that a healthy man has strongly developed sexual passions, yet, god has crowned man with reason, and with a proper exercise of this wonderful faculty of the human mind no lascivious thoughts need to control the passions. a pure heart will develop pure thoughts and bring out a good life. . rioting in visions.--dr. lewis says: "rioting in visions of nude women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse. there are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned female, but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are not busy with her person. this species of indulgence is well-nigh universal; and it is the source of all other forms the fountain from which the external vices spring, and the nursery of masturbation." . committing adultery in the heart.--a young man who allows his mind to dwell upon the vision of nude women will soon become a victim of ruinous passion, and either fall under the influence of lewd women or resort to self-abuse. the man who has no control over his mind and allows impure thoughts to be associated with the name of every female that may be suggested to his mind, is but committing adultery in his heart, just as guilty at heart as though he had committed the deed. . unchastity.--so far as the record is preserved, unchastity has contributed above all other causes, more to the ruin and exhaustion and demoralization of the race than all other wickedness. and we shall not be likely to vanquish the monster, even in ourselves, unless we make the thoughts our point of attack. so long as they are sensual we are indulging in sexual abuse, and are almost sure, when temptation is presented, to commit the overt acts of sin. if we cannot succeed within, we may pray in vain for help to resist the tempter outwardly. a young man who will indulge in obscene language will be guilty of a worse deed if opportunity is offered. . bad dressing.--if women knew how much mischief they do men they would change some of their habits of dress. the dress of their busts, the padding in different parts, are so contrived as to call away attention from the soul and fix it on the bosom and hips. and then, many, even educated women, are careful to avoid serious subjects in our presence one minute before a gentleman enters the room they may be engaged in thoughtful discussion, but the moment he appears their whole style changes; they assume light fascinating ways, laugh sweet little bits of laughs, and turn their heads this way and that, all which forbids serious thinking and gives men over to imagination. . the lustful eye.--how many men there are who lecherously stare at every woman in whose presence they happen to be. these monsters stare at women as though they were naked in a cage on exhibition. a man whose whole manner is full of animal passion is not worthy of the respect of refined women. they have no thoughts, no ideas, no sentiments, nothing to interest them but the bodies of women whom they behold. the moral character of young women has no significance or weight in their eyes. this kind of men are a curse to society and a danger to the community. no young lady is safe in their company. . rebuking sensualism.--if the young women would exercise an honorable independence and heap contempt upon the young men that allow their imagination to take such liberties, a different state of things would soon follow. men of that type of character should have no recognition in the presence of ladies. . early marriages.--there can be no doubt that early marriages are bad for both parties. for children of such a marriage always lack vitality. the ancient germans did not marry until the twenty-fourth or twenty-fifth year, previous to which they observed the most rigid chastity, and in consequence they acquired a size and strength that excited the astonishment of europe. the present incomparable vigor of that race, both physically and mentally, is due in a great measure to their long established aversion to marrying young. the results of too early marriages are in brief, stunted growth and impaired strength on the part of the male; delicate if not utterly bad health in the female; the premature old age or death of one or both, and a puny, sickly offspring. . signs of excesses.--dr. dio lewis says: "some of the most common effects of sexual excess are backache, lassitude, giddiness, dimness of sight, noises in the ears, numbness of the fingers, and paralysis. the drain is universal, but the more sensitive organs and tissues suffer most. so the nervous system gives way and continues the principal sufferer throughout. a large part of the premature loss of sight and hearing, dizziness, numbness and pricking in the hands and feet, and other kindred developments, are justly chargeable to unbridled venery. not unfrequently you see men whose head or back or nerve testifies of such reckless expenditure." . non-completed intercourse.--withdrawal before the emission occurs is injurious to both parties. the soiling of the conjugal bed by the shameful manoeuvres is to be deplored. . the extent of the practice.--one cannot tell to what extent this vice is practiced, except by observing its consequences, even among people who fear to commit the slightest sin, to such a degree is the public conscience perverted upon this point. still, many husbands know that nature often renders nugatory the most subtle calculations, and reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate. no matter; they persevere none the less, and by the force of habit they poison the most blissful moments of life, with no surety of averting the result that they fear. so who knows if the too often feeble and weakened infants are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete procreations, and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the natural act. . health of women.--furthermore, the moral relations existing between the married couple undergo unfortunate changes; this affection, founded upon reciprocal esteem, is little by little effaced by the repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed. if the good harmony of families and the reciprocal relations are seriously menaced by the invasion of these detestable practices, the health of women, as we have already intimated, is fearfully injured. . crowning sin of the age.--then there is the crime of abortion which is so prevalent in these days. it is the crowning sin of the age, though in a broader sense it includes all those sins that are committed to limit the size of the family. "it lies at the root of our spiritual life," says rev. b.d. sinclair, "and though secret in its nature, paralyzes christian life and neutralizes every effort for righteousness which the church puts forth." . sexual exhaustion.--every sexual excitement is exhaustive in proportion to its intensity and continuance. if a man sits by the side of a woman, fondles and kisses her three or four hours, and allows his imagination to run riot with sexual visions, he will be five times as much exhausted as he would by the act culminating in emission. it is the sexual excitement more than the emission which exhausts. as shown in another part of this work, thoughts of sexual intimacies, long continued, lead to the worst effects. to a man, whose imagination is filled with erotic fancies the emission comes as a merciful interruption to the burning, harassing and wearing excitement which so constantly goads him. . the desire of good.--the desire of good for its own sake--this is love. the desire of good for bodily pleasure--this is lust. man is a moral being, and as such should always act in the animal sphere according to the spiritual law. hence, to break the law of the highest creative action for the mere gratification of animal instinct is to perform the act of sin and to produce the corruption of nature. . cause of prostitution.--dr. dio lewis says: "occasionally we meet a diseased female with excessive animal passion, but such a case is very rare. the average woman has so little sexual desire that if licentiousness depended upon her, uninfluenced by her desire to please man or secure his support, there would be very little sexual excess. man is strong he has all the money and all the facilities for business and pleasure; and woman is not long in learning the road to his favor. many prostitutes who take no pleasure in their unclean intimacies not only endure a disgusting life for the favor and means thus gained, but affect intense passion in their sexual contacts because they have learned that such exhibitions gratify men." . husband's brutality.--husbands! it is your licentiousness that drives your wives to a deed so abhorrent to their every wifely, womanly and maternal instinct a deed which ruins the health of their bodies, prostitutes their souls, and makes marriage, maternity and womanhood itself degrading and loathsome. no terms can sufficiently characterize the cruelty, meanness and disgusting selfishness of your conduct when you impose on them a maternity so detested as to drive them to the desperation of killing their unborn children and often themselves. . what drunkards bequeath to their offspring.--organic imperfections unfit the brain for sane action, and habit confirms the insane condition; the man's brain has become unsound. then comes in the law of hereditary descent, by which the brain of a man's children is fashioned after his own not as it was originally, but as it has become, in consequence of frequent functional disturbance. hence, of all appetites, the inherited appetite for drunkenness is the most direful. natural laws contemplate no exceptions, and sins against them are never pardoned. . the reports of hospitals.--the reports of hospitals for lunatics almost universally assign intemperance as one of the causes which predispose a man's offspring to insanity. this is even more strikingly manifested in the case of congenital idiocy. they come generally from a class of families which seem to have degenerated physically to a low degree. they are puny and sickly. . secret diseases.--see the weakly, sickly and diseased children who are born only to suffer and die, all because of the private disease of the father before his marriage. oh, let the truth be told that the young men of our land may learn the lessons of purity of life. let them learn that in morality there is perfect protection and happiness. [illustration: getting a divorce.] [illustration: the degenerate turk.] * * * * * physical and moral degeneracy. . moral principle.--"edgar allen poe, lord byron, and robert burns," says dr. geo. f. hall, "were men of marvelous strength intellectually. but measured by the true rule of high moral principle, they were very weak. superior endowment in a single direction--physical, mental, or spiritual--is not of itself sufficient to make one strong in all that that heroic word means. . insane asylum.--many a good man spiritually has gone to an untimely grave because of impaired physical powers. many a good man spiritually has gone to the insane asylum because of bodily and mental weaknesses. many a good man spiritually has fallen from virtue in an evil moment because of a weakened will, or a too demanding fleshly passion, or, worse than either, too lax views on the subject of personal chastity." . boys learning vices.--some ignorant and timid people argue that boys and young men in reading a work of this character will learn vices concerning which they had never so much as dreamed of before. this is, however, certain, that vices cannot be condemned unless they are mentioned; and if the condemnation is strong enough it surely will be a source of strength and of security. if light and education, on these important subjects, does injury, then all knowledge likewise must do more wrong than good. knowledge is power, and the only hope of the race is enlightenment on all subjects pertaining to their being. . moral manhood.--it is clearly visible that the american manhood is rotting down--decaying at the center. the present generation shows many men of a small body and weak principles, and men and women of this kind are becoming more and more prevalent. dissipation and indiscretions of all kind are working ruin. purity of life and temperate habits are being too generally disregarded. . young women.--the vast majority of graduates from the schools and colleges of our land to-day, and two-thirds of the membership of our churches, and three-fourths of the charitable workers, are females. everywhere girls are carrying off most of the prizes in competitive examinations, because women, as a sex, naturally maintain a better character, take better care of their bodies, and are less addicted to bad and injurious habits. while all this is true in reference to females, you will find that the male sex furnishes almost the entire number of criminals. the saloons, gambling dens, the brothels, and bad literature are drawing down all that the public schools can build up. seventy per cent. of the young men of this land do not darken the church door. they are not interested in moral improvement or moral education. eighty-five per cent. leave school under years of age; prefer the loafer's honors to the benefit of school. . promotion.--the world is full of good places for good young men, and all the positions of trust now occupied by the present generation will soon be filled by the competent young men of the coming generation; and he that keeps his record clean, lives a pure life, and avoids excesses or dissipations of all kinds, and fortifies his life with good habits, is the young man who will be heard from, and a thousand places will be open for his services. . personal purity.--dr. george f. hall says: "why not pay careful attention to man in all his elements of strength, physical, mental, and moral? why not make personal purity a fixed principle in the manhood of the present and coming generation, and thus insure the best men the world has ever seen? it can be done. let every reader of these lines resolve that he will be one to help do it." [illustration: charles dickens' chair and desk.] * * * * * immorality, disease and death. . the policy of silence.--there is no greater delusion than to suppose that vast number of boys know nothing about practices of sin. some parents are afraid that unclean thoughts may be suggested by these very defences. the danger is slight. such cases are barely possible, but when the untold thousands are thought of on the other side, who have been demoralized from childhood through ignorance, and who are to-day suffering the result of these vicious practices, the policy of silence stands condemned, and intelligent knowledge abundantly justified. the emphatic words of scripture are true in this respect also, "the people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." . living illustration.--without fear of truthful contradiction, we affirm that the homes, public assemblies, and streets of all our large cities abound to-day with living illustrations and proofs of the widespread existence of this physical and moral scourge. an enervated and stunted manhood, a badly developed physique, a marked absence of manly and womanly strength and beauty, are painfully common everywhere. boys and girls, young men and women, exist by thousands, of whom it may be said, they were badly born and ill-developed. many of them are, to some extent, bearing the penalty of the [transcriber's note: the text appears to read "sins" but it is unclear] and excesses of their parents, especially their fathers, whilst the great majority are reaping the fruits of their own immorality in a dwarfed and ill-formed body, and effeminate appearance, weak and enervated mind. . effeminate and sickly young men.--the purposeless and aimless life of any number of effeminate and sickly young men, is to be distinctly attributed to these sins. the large class of mentally impotent "ne'er-do-wells" are being constantly recruited and added to by those who practice what the celebrated erichson calls "that hideous sin engendered by vice, and practiced in solitude"--the sin, be it observed, which is the common cause of physical and mental weakness, and of the fearfully impoverishing night-emissions, or as they are commonly called, "wet-dreams." . weakness, disease, deformity, and death.--through self-pollution and fornication the land is being corrupted with weakness, disease, deformity, and death. we regret to say that we cannot speak with confidence concerning the moral character of the jew; but we have people amongst us who have deservedly a high character for the tone of their moral life--we refer to the members of the society of friends. the average of life amongst these reaches no less than fifty-six years; and, whilst some allowance must be made for the fact that amongst the friends the poor have not a large representation, these figures show conclusively the soundness of this position. . sowing their wild oats.--it is monstrous to suppose that healthy children should die just as they are coming to manhood. the fact that thousands of young people do reach the age of sixteen or eighteen, and then decline and die, should arouse parents to ask the question: why? certainly it would not be difficult to tell the reason in thousands of instances, and yet the habit and practice of the deadly sin of self-pollution is actually ignored; it is even spoken of as a boyish folly not to be mentioned, and young men literally burning up with lust are mildly spoken of as "sowing their wild oats." thus the cemetery is being filled with masses of the youth of america who, as in egypt of old, fill up the graves of uncleanness and lust. some time since a prominent christian man was taking exception to my addressing men on this subject; observe this! one of his own sons was at that very time near the lunatic asylum through these disgusting sins. what folly and madness this is! . death to true manhood.--the question for each one is, "in what way are you going to divert the courses of the streams of energy which pertain to youthful vigor and manhood?" to be destitute of that which may be described as raw material in the human frame, means that no really vigorous manhood can have place; to burn up the juices of the system in the fires of lust is madness and wanton folly, but it can be done. to divert the currents of life and energy from blood and brain, from memory and muscle, in order to secrete it for the shambles of prostitution, is death to true manhood; but remember, it can be done! the generous liquid life may inspire the brain and blood with noble impulse and vital force, or it may be sinned away and drained out of the system until the jaded brain, the faded cheek, the enervated young manhood, the gray hair, narrow chest, weak voice, and the enfeebled mind show another victim in the long catalogue of the degraded through lust. . the sisterhood of shame and death.--whenever we pass the sisterhood of death, and hear the undertone of song, which is one of the harlot's methods of advertising, let us recall the words, that these represent the "pestilence which walketh in darkness, the destruction that wasteth at noonday." the allusion, of course, is to the fact that the great majority of these harlots are full of loathsome physical and moral disease; with the face and form of an angel, these women "bite like a serpent and sting like an adder;" their traffic is not for life, but inevitably for shame, disease, and death. betrayed and seduced themselves, they in their turn betray and curse others. . warning others.--have you never been struck with the argument of the apostle, who, warning others from the corrupt example of the fleshy esau, said, "lest there be any fornicator or profane person as esau, who for one mess of meat sold his own birthright. for ye know that even afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears." terrible and striking words are these. his birthright sold for a mess of meat. the fearful costs of sin--yes, that is the thought, particularly the sin of fornication! engrave that word upon your memories and hearts--"one mess of meat." . the harlot's mess of meat.--remember it, young men, when you are tempted to this sin. for a few minutes' sensual pleasure, for a mess of harlot's meat, young men are paying out the love of the son and brother; they are deceiving, lying, and cheating for a mess of meat; for a mess, not seldom of putrid flesh, men have paid down purity and prayer, manliness and godliness; for a mess of meat some perhaps have donned their best attire, and assumed the manners of the gentleman, and then, like an infernal hypocrite flogged the steps of maiden or harlot to satisfy their degrading lust; for a mess of meat young men have deceived father and mother, and shrunk from the embrace of love of the pure-minded sister. for the harlot's mess of meat some listening to me have spent scores of hours of invaluable time. they have wearied the body, diseased and demoralized the mind. the pocket has been emptied, theft committed, lies unnumbered told, to play the part of the harlot's mate--perchance a six-foot fool, dragged into the filth and mire of the harlot's house. you called her your friend, when, but for her mess of meat, you would have passed her like dirt in the street. . seeing life.--you consorted with her for your mutual shame and death, and then called it "seeing life." had your mother met you, you would have shrunk away like a craven cur. had your sister interviewed you, she had blushed to bear your name; or had she been seen by you in company with some other whoremaster, for similar commerce, you would have wished that she had been dead. now what think you of this "seeing life?" and it is for this that tens of thousands of strong men in our large cities are selling their birthright. . the devil's decoys.--some may be ready to affirm that physical and moral penalties do not appear to overtake all men; that many men known to be given to intemperance and sensuality are strong, well, and live to a good age. let us not make any mistake concerning these; they are exceptions to the rule; the appearance of health in them is but the grossness of sensuality. you have only carefully to look into the faces of these men to see that their countenances, eyes, and speech betray them. they are simply the devil's decoys. . grossness of sensuality.--the poor degraded harlot draws in the victims like a heavily charged lodestone; these men are found in large numbers throughout the entire community; they would make fine men were they not weighted with the grossness of sensuality; as it is, they frequent the race-course, the card-table, the drinking-saloon, the music-hall, and the low theaters, which abound in our cities and towns; the great majority of these are men of means and leisure. idleness is their curse, their opportunity for sin; you may know them as the loungers over refreshment-bars, as the retailers of the latest filthy joke, or as the vendors of some disgusting scandal; indeed, it is appalling the number of these lepers found both in our business and social circles. [illustration: palestine water carriers.] * * * * * poisonous literature and bad pictures. . obscene literature.--no other source contributes so much to sexual immorality as obscene literature. the mass of stories published in the great weeklies and the cheap novels are mischievous. when the devil determines to take charge of a young soul, be often employs a very ingenious method. he slyly hands a little novel filled with "voluptuous forms," "reclining on bosoms," "languishing eyes," etc. . moral forces.--the world is full of such literature. it is easily accessible, for it is cheap, and the young will procure it, and therefore become easy prey to its baneful influence and effects. it weakens the moral forces of the young, and they thereby fall an easy prey before the subtle schemes of the libertine. . bad books.--bad books play not a small part in the corruption of the youth. a bad book is as bad as an evil companion. in some respects it is even worse than a living teacher of vice, since it may cling to an individual at all times. it will follow him and poison his mind with the venom of evil. the influence of bad books in making bad boys and men is little appreciated. few are aware how much evil seed is being sown among the young everywhere through the medium of vile books. . sensational story books.--much of the evil literature which is sold in nickel and dime novels, and which constitutes the principal part of the contents of such papers as the "police gazette," the "police news," and a large proportion of the sensational story books which flood the land. you might better place a coal of fire or a live viper in your bosom, than allow yourself to read such a book. the thoughts that are implanted in the mind in youth will often stick there through life, in spite of all efforts to dislodge them. . papers and magazines.--many of the papers and magazines sold at our news stands, and eagerly sought after by young men and boys, are better suited for the parlors of a house of ill-fame than for the eyes of pure-minded youth. a newsdealer who will distribute such vile sheets ought to be dealt with as an educator in vice and crime, an agent of evil, and a recruiting officer of hell and perdition. . sentimental literature of low fiction.--sentimental literature, whether impure in its subject matter or not, has a direct tendency in the direction of impurity. the stimulation of the emotional nature, the instilling of sentimental ideas into the minds of the young, has a tendency to turn the thoughts into a channel which leads in the direction of the formation of vicious habits. . impressions left by reading questionable literature.--it is painful to see strong intelligent men and youths reading bad books, or feasting their eyes on filthy pictures, for the practice is sure to affect their personal purity. impressions will be left which cannot fail to breed a legion of impure thoughts, and in many instances criminal deeds. thousands of elevator boys, clerks, students, traveling men, and others, patronize the questionable literature counter to an alarming extent. . the nude in art.--for years there has been a great craze after the nude in art, and the realistic in literature. many art galleries abound in pictures and statuary which cannot fail to fan the fires of sensualism, unless the thoughts of the visitor are trained to the strictest purity. why should artists and sculptors persist in shocking the finer sensibilities of old and young of both sexes by crowding upon their view representations of naked human forms in attitudes of luxurious abandon? public taste may demand it. but let those who have the power endeavor to reform public taste. . widely diffused.--good men have ever lamented the pernicious influence of a depraved and perverted literature. but such literature has never been so systematically and widely diffused as at the present time. this is owing to two causes, its cheapness and the facility of conveyance. . inflame the passions.--a very large proportion of the works thus put in circulation are of the worst character, tending to corrupt the principles, to inflame the passions, to excite impure desire, and spread a blight over all the powers of the soul. brothels are recruited from this more than any other source. those who search the trunks of convicted criminals are almost sure to find in them one of more of these works; and few prisoners who can read at all fail to enumerate among the causes which led them into crime the unhealthy stimulus of this depraved and poisonous literature. [illustration] [illustration] * * * * * startling sins. . nameless crimes.--the nameless crimes identified with the hushed-up sodomite cases; the revolting condition of the school of sodomy; the revelations of the divorce court concerning the condition of what is called national nobility, and upper classes, as well as the unclean spirit which attaches to "society papers," has revealed a condition which is perfectly disgusting. . unfaithfulness.--unfaithfulness amongst husbands and wives in the upper classes is common and adultery rife everywhere; mistresses are kept in all directions; thousands of these rich men have at least two, and not seldom three establishments. . a frightful increase.--facts which have come to light during the past ten years show a frightful increase in every form of licentiousness; the widely extended area over which whoredom and degrading lust have thrown the glamor of their fascinating toils is simply appalling. . moral carnage.--we speak against the fearful moral carnage; would to god that some unmistakable manifestation of the wrath of god should come in and put a stop to this huge seed-plot of national demoralization! we are reaping in this disgusting center the harvest of corruption which has come from the toleration and encouragements given by the legislature, the police, and the magistrates to immorality, vice and sin; the awful fact is that we are in the midst of the foul and foetid harvest of lust. aided by some of the most exalted personages in the land, assisted by thousands of educated and wealthy whoremongers and adulterers, we are reaping also, in individual physical ugliness and deformity, that which has been sown; the puny, ill-formed and mentally weak youths and maidens, men and women, to be seen in large numbers in our principal towns and cities, represent the widespread nature of the curse, which has, in a marked manner, impaired the physique, the morality, and the intelligence of the nation. . daily press.--the daily press has not had the moral courage to say one word; the quality of demoralizing novels such as have been produced from the impure brain and unclean imaginations; the subtle, clever and fascinating undermining of the white-winged angel of purity by modern sophists, whose purient and vicious volumes were written to throw a halo of charm and beauty about the brilliant courtesan and the splendid adulteress; the mixing up of lust and love; the making of corrupt passion to stand in the garb of a deep, lasting, and holy affection--these are some of the hidious seedlings which, hidden amid the glamor and fascination of the seeming "angel of light," have to so large an extent corrupted the morality of the country. . nightly exhibitions.--some of you know what the nightly exhibitions in these garlanded temples of whorish incentive are. there is the variety theatre with its disgusting ballet dancing, and its shamelessly indecent photographs exhibited in every direction. what a clear gain to morality it would be if the accursed houses were burnt down, and forbidden by law ever to be re-built or re-opened; the whole scene is designed to act upon and stimulate the lusts and evil passions of corrupt men and women. . confidence and exposure.--i hear some of you say, cannot some influence be brought to bear upon this plague-spot? will the legislature or congress do nothing? is the law and moral right to continue to be trodden under foot? are the magistrates and the police powerless? the truth is, the harlots and whoremongers are master of the situation; the moral sense of the legislators, the magistrates, and the police is so low that anything like confidence is at present out of the question. . the sisterhood of shame and death.--it is enough to make angels weep to see a great mass of america's wealthy and better-class sons full of zeal and on fire with interest in the surging hundreds of the sisterhood of shame and death. many of these men act as if they were--if they do not believe they are--dogs. no poor hunted dog in the streets was ever tracked by a yelping crowd of curs more than is the fresh girl or chance of a maid in the accursed streets of our large cities. price is no object, nor parentage, nor home; it is the truth to affirm that hundreds and thousands of well-dressed and educated men come in order to the gratification of their lusts, and to this end they frequent this whole district; they have reached this stage, they are being burned up in this fire of lust; men of whom god says, "having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease sin." . law makers.--now should any member of the legislature rise up and testify against this "earthly hell," and speak in defence of the moral manhood and womanhood of the nation, he would be greeted as a fanatic, and laughed down amid derisive cheers; such has been the experience again and again. therefore attack this great stronghold which for the past thirty years has warred and is warring against our social manhood and womanhood, and constantly undermining the moral life of the nation; against this citadel of licentiousness, this metropolitan centre of crime, and vice, and sin, direct your full blast of righteous and manly indignation. . temples of lust.--here stand the foul and splendid temples of lust, intemperance, and passion, into whose vortex tens of thousands of our sons and daughters are constantly being drawn. let it be remembered that this whole area represents the most costly conditions, and proves beyond question that an enormous proportion of the wealthy manhood of the nation, and we as citizens sustain, partake, and share in this carnival of death. is it any wonder that the robust type of godly manhood which used to be found in the legislature is sadly wanting now, or that the wretched caricatures of manhood which find form and place in such papers as "truth" and the "world" are accepted as representing "modern society?" . puritanic manhood.--it is a melancholy fact that, by reason of uncleanness, we have almost lost regard for the type of puritanic manhood which in the past held aloft the standard of a chaste and holy life; such men in this day are spoken of as "too slow" as "weak-kneed," and "goody-goody" men. let me recall that word, the fast and indecently-dressed "things," the animals of easy virtue, the "respectable" courtesans that flirt, chaff, gamble, and waltz with well-known high-class licentious lepers--such is the ideal of womanhood which a large proportion of our large city society accepts, fawns upon, and favors. [illustration] . shameful conditions.--perhaps one of the most inhuman and shameful conditions of modern fashionable society, both in england and america, is that which wealthy men and women who are married destroy their own children in the embryo stage of being, and become murderers thereby. this is done to prevent what should become one of our chief glories, viz., large and well-developed [transcriber's note: the text appears to read "home" but it is unclear] and family life. * * * * * the prostitution of men. cause and remedy. . exposed youth.--generally even in the beginning of the period when sexual uneasiness begins to show itself in the boy, he is exposed in schools, institutes, and elsewhere to the temptations of secret vice, which is transmitted from youth to youth, like a contagious corruption, and which in thousands destroys the first germs of virility. countless numbers of boys are addicted to these vices for years. that they do not in the beginning of nascent puberty proceed to sexual intercourse with women, is generally due to youthful timidity, which dares not reveal its desire, or from want of experience for finding opportunities. the desire is there, for the heart is already corrupted. . boyhood timidity overcome.--too often a common boy's timidity is overcome by chance or by seduction, which is rarely lacking in great cities where prostitution is flourishing, and thus numbers of boys immediately after the transition period of youth, in accordance with the previous secret practice, accustom themselves to the association with prostitute women, and there young manhood and morals are soon lost forever. . marriage-bed resolutions.--most men of the educated classes enter the marriage-bed with the consciousness of leaving behind them a whole army of prostitutes or seduced women, in whose arms they cooled their passions and spent the vigor of their youth. but with such a past the married man does not at the same time leave behind him its influence on his inclinations. the habit of having a feminine being at his disposal for every rising appetite, and the desire for change inordinately indulged for years, generally make themselves felt again as soon as the honeymoon is over. marriage will not make a morally corrupt man all at once a good man and a model husband. . the injustice of man.--now, although many men are in a certain sense "not worthy to unloose the latchet of the shoes" of the commonest woman, much less to "unfasten her girdle," yet they make the most extravagant demands on the feminine sex. even the greatest debauchee, who has spent his vigor in the arms of a hundred courtesans, will cry out fraud and treachery if he does not receive his newly married bride as an untouched virgin. even the most dissolute husband will look on his wife as deserving of death if his daily infidelity is only once reciprocated. . unjust demands.--the greater the injustice a husband does to his wife, the less he is willing to submit to from her; the oftener he becomes unfaithful to her, the stricter he is in demanding faithfulness from her. we see that despotism nowhere denies its own nature: the more a despot deceives and abuses his people, the more submissiveness and faithfulness he demands of them. . suffering women.--who can be astonished at the many unhappy marriages, if he knows how unworthy most men are of their wives? their virtues they rarely can appreciate, and their vices they generally call out by their own. thousands of women suffer from the results of a mode of life of which they, having remained pure in their thought, have no conception whatever; and many an unsuspecting wife nurses her husband with tenderest care in sicknesses which are nothing more than the consequences of his amours with other women. . an inhuman criminal.--when at last, after long years of delusion and endurance, the scales drop from the eyes of the wife, and revenge or despair drives her into a hostile position towards her lord and master, she is an inhuman criminal, and the hue and cry against the fickleness of women and the falsity of their nature is endless. oh, the injustice of society and the injustice of cruel man. is there no relief for helpless women that are bound by the ties of marriage to men who are nothing but rotten corruption? . vulgar desire.--the habit of regarding the end and aim of woman only from the most vulgar side--not to respect in her the noble human being, but to see in her only the instrument of sensual desire--is carried so far among men that they will allow it to force into the background considerations among themselves, which they otherwise pretend to rank very high. . the only remedy.--but when the feeling of women has once been driven to indignation with respect to the position which they occupy, it is to be hoped that they will compel men to be pure before marriage, and they will remain loyal after marriage. . worse than savages.--with all our civilization we are put to shame even by the savages. the savages know of no fastidiousness of the sexual instinct and of no brothels. we are, indeed, likewise savages, but in quite a different sense. proof of this is especially furnished by our youth. but that our students, and young men in general, usually pass through the school of corruption and drag the filth of the road which they have traversed before marriage along with them throughout life, is not their fault so much as the fault of prejudices and of our political and social conditions that prohibits a proper education, and the placing of the right kind of literature on these subjects into the hands of young people. [illustration] . reason and remedy.--keep the youth pure by a thorough system of plain unrestricted training. the seeds of immorality are sown in youth, and the secret vice eats out their young manhood often before the age of puberty. they develop a bad character as they grow older. young girls are ruined, and licentiousness and prostitution flourish. keep the boys pure and the harlot would soon lose her vocation. elevate the morals of the boys, and you will have pure men and moral husbands. [illustration: suicide lake.] * * * * * the road to shame. . insult to mother or sister.--young men, it can never tinder any circumstances be right for you to do to a woman that, which, if another man did to your mother or sister, you could never forgive! the very thought is revolting. let us suppose a man guilty of this shameful sin, and i apprehend that each of us would feel ready to shoot the villain. we are not justifying the shooting, but appealing to your instinctive sense of right, in order to show the enormity of this fearful crime, and to fasten strong conviction in your mind against this sin. . a ruined sister.--what would you think of a man, no matter what his wealth, culture, or gentlemanly bearing, who should lay himself out for the seduction and shame of your beloved sister? her very name now reminds you of the purest affection: think of her, if you can bear it, ruined in character, and soon to become an unhappy mother. to whom can you introduce her? what can you say concerning her? how can her own brothers and sisters associate with her? and, mark! all this personal and relative misery caused by this genteel villain's degrading passion. . young man lost.--another terrible result of this sin is the practical overthrow of natural affection which it effects. a young man comes from his father's house to chicago. either through his own lust or through the corrupt companions that he finds in the house of business where he resides, he becomes the companion of lewd women. the immediate result is a bad conscience, a sense of shame, and a breach in the affections of home. letters are less frequent, careless, and brief. he cannot manifest true love now. he begins to shrink from his sister and mother, and well he may. . the harlot's influence.--he has spent the strength of his affection and love for home. in their stead the wretched harlot has filled him with unholy lust. his brain and heart refuse to yield him the love of the son and brother. his hand can not write as aforetime, or at best, his expressions become a hypocritical pretence. fallen into the degradation of the fornicator, he has changed a mother's love and sister's affection for the cursed fellowship of the woman "whose house is the way to hell." (prov. vii. .) . the way of death.--observe, that directly the law of god is broken, and wherever promiscuous intercourse between the sexes takes place, gonorrhoea, syphilis, and every other form of venereal disease is seen in hideous variety. it is only true to say that thousands of both sexes are slain annually by these horrible diseases. what must be the moral enormity of a sin, which, when committed, produces in vast numbers of cases such frightful physical and moral destruction as that which is here portrayed? . a harlot's woes.--would to god that something might be done to rescue fallen women from their low estate. we speak of them as "fallen women". fallen, indeed, they are, but surely not more deserving of the application of that term than the "fallen men" who are their partners and paramours. it is easy to use the words "a fallen woman," but who can apprehend all that is involved in the expression, seeing that every purpose for which god created woman is prostituted and destroyed? she is now neither maiden, wife, nor mother; the sweet names of sister and betrothed can have no legitimate application in her case. . the penalties for lost virtue.--can the harlot be welcomed where either children, brothers, sisters, wife, or husband are found? surely, no. home is a sphere alien to the harlot's estate. see such an one wherever you may--she is a fallen outcast from woman's high estate. her existence--for she does not live--now culminates in one dread issue, viz., prostitution. she sleeps, but awakes a harlot. she rises in the late morning hours, but her object is prostitution; she washes, dresses, and braids her hair, but it is with one foul purpose before her. to this end she eats, drinks, and is clothed. to this end her house is hidden and the blinds are drawn. . lost forever.--to this end she applies the unnatural cosmetique, and covers herself with sweet perfumes, which vainly try to hide her disease and shame. to this end she decks herself with dashing finery and tawdry trappings, and with bold, unwomanly mien essays the streets of the great city. to this end she is loud and coarse and impudent. to this end she is the prostituted "lady," with simpering words, and smiles, and glamour of refined deceit. to this end an angel face, a devil in disguise. there is one foul and ghastly purpose towards which all her energies now tend. so low has she fallen, so lost is she to all the design of woman, that she exists for one foul purpose only, viz., to excite, stimulate, and gratify the lusts of degraded, ungodly men. verily, the word "prostitute" has an awful meaning. what plummet can sound the depths of a woman's fall who has become a harlot? . sound the alarm.--remember, young man, you can never rise above the degradation of the companionship of lewd women. your virtue once lost is lost forever. remember, young woman, your wealth or riches is your good name and good character--you have nothing else. give a man your virtue and he will forsake you, and you will be forsaken by all the world. remember that purity of purpose brings nobility of character, and an honorable life is the joy and security of mankind. [illustration: the great philanthropist.] * * * * * the curse of manhood. . moral lepers.--we cannot but denounce, in the strongest terms, the profligacy of many married men. not content with the moderation permitted in the divine appointed relationship of marriage, they become adulterers, in order to gratify their accursed lust. the man in them is trodden down by the sensual beast which reigns supreme. these are the moral outlaws that make light of this scandalous social iniquity, and by their damnable example encourage young men to sin. . a sad condition.--it is constantly affirmed by prostitutes, that amongst married men are found their chief supporters. evidence from such a quarter must be received with considerable caution. nevertheless, we believe that there is much truth in this statement. here, again, we lay the ax to the root of the tree; the married man who dares affirm that there is a particle of physical necessity for this sin, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. whether these men be princes, peers, legislators, professional men, mechanics, or workmen, they are moral pests, a scandal to the social state, and a curse to the nation. . excesses.--many married men exhaust themselves by these excesses; they become irritable, liable to cold, to rheumatic affections, and nervous depression. they find themselves weary when they rise in the morning. unfitted for close application to business, they become dilatory and careless, often lapsing into entire lack of energy, and not seldom into the love of intoxicating stimulants. numbers of husbands and wives entering upon these experiences lose the charm of health, the cheerfulness of life and converse. home duties become irksome to the wife; the brightness, vivacity, and bloom natural to her earlier years, decline; she is spoken of as highly nervous, poorly, and weak, when the whole truth is that she is suffering from physical exhaustion which she cannot bear. her features become angular, her hair prematurely gray, she rapidly settles down into the nervous invalid, constantly needing medical aid, and, if possible, change of air. . ignorance.--these conditions are brought about in many cases through ignorance on the part of those who are married. multitudes of men have neither read, heard, nor known the truth of this question. we sympathize with our fellow-men in this, that we have been left in practical ignorance concerning the exceeding value and legitimate uses of these functions of our being. some know, that, had they known these things in the early days of their married life, it would have proved to them knowledge of exceeding value. if this counsel is followed, thousands of homes will scarcely know the need of the physician's presence. . animal passion.--commonsense teaches that children who are begotten in the heat of animal passion, are likely to be licentious when they grow up. many parents through excesses of eating and drinking, become inflamed with wine and strong drink. they are sensualists, and consequently, morally diseased. now, if in such conditions men beget their children, who can affect surprise if they develop licentious tendencies? are not such parents largely to blame? are they not criminals in a high degree? have they not fouled their own nest, and transmitted to their children predisposition to moral evil? . fast young men.--many of our "fast young men" have been thus corrupted, even as the children of the intemperate are proved to have been. certainly no one can deny that many of our "well-bred" young men are little better than "high-class dogs" so lawless are they, and ready for the arena of licentiousness. . the pure-minded wife.--happily, as tens of thousands of husbands can testify, the pure-minded wife and mother is not carried away, as men are liable to be, with the force of animal passion. were it not so, the tendencies to licentiousness in many sons would be stronger than they are. in the vast majority of cases suggestion is never made except by the husband, and it is a matter of deepest gratitude and consideration, that the true wife may become a real helpmeet in restraining this desire in the husband. . young wife and children.--we often hear it stated that a young wife has her children quickly. this cannot happen to the majority of women without injury to health and jeopardy to life. the law which rendered it imperative for the land to lie fallow in order to rest and gain renewed strength, is only another illustration of the unity which pervades physical conditions everywhere. it should be known that if a mother nurses her own babe, and the child is not weaned until it is nine or ten months old, the mother, except in rare cases, will not become enceinte again, though cohabitation with the husband takes place. . selfish and unnatural conduct.--it is natural and rational that a mother should feed her own children; in the selfish and unnatural conduct of many mothers, who, to avoid the self-denial and patience which are required, hand the little one over to the wet-nurse, or to be brought up by hand, is found in many cases the cause and reason of the unnatural haste of child-bearing. mothers need to be taught that the laws of nature cannot be broken without penalty. for every woman whose health has been weakened through nursing her child, a hundred have lost strength and health through marital excesses. the haste of having children is the costly penalty which women pay for shirking the mother's duty to the child. . law of god.--so graciously has the law of god been arranged in regard to the mother's strength, that, if it be obeyed, there will be, as a rule, an interval of at least from eighteen months to two years between the birth of one child and that of another. every married man should abstain during certain natural seasons. in this periodical recurrance god has instituted to every husband the law of restraint, and insisted upon self-control. . to young people who are married.--be exceedingly careful of license and excess in your intercourse with one another. do not needlessly expose, by undress, the body. let not the purity of love degenerate into unholy lust! see to it that you walk according to the divine word. "dwelling together as being heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." . lost powers.--many young men after their union showed a marked difference. they lost much of their natural vivacity, energy, and strength of voice. their powers of application, as business men, students, and ministers, had declined, as also their enterprise, fervor, and kindliness. they had become irritable, dull, pale, and complaining. many cases of rheumatic fever have been induced through impoverishment, caused by excesses on the part of young married men. . middle age.--after middle age the sap of a man's life declines in quantity. a man who intends close application to the ministry, to scientific or literary pursuits, where great demands are made upon the brain, must restrain this passion. the supplies for the brain and nervous system are absorbed, and the seed diverted through sexual excesses in the marriage relationship, by fornication, or by any other form of immorality, the man's power must decline: that to this very cause may be attributed the failure and breakdown of so many men of middle age. . intoxicating drinks.--by all means avoid intoxicating drinks. immorality and alcoholic stimulants, as we have shown, are intimately related to one another. wine and strong drink inflame the blood, and heat the passions. attacking the brain, they warp the judgment, and weaken the power of restraint. avoid what is called good living: it is madness to allow the pleasures of the table to corrupt and corrode the human body. we are not designed for gourmands, much less for educated pigs. cold water bathing, water as a beverage, simple and wholesome food, regularity of sleep, plenty of exercise; games such as cricket, football, tennis, boating, or bicycling, are among the best possible preventives against lust and animal passion. . beware of idleness.--indolent leisure means an unoccupied mind. when young men lounge along the streets, in this condition they become an easy prey to the sisterhood of shame and death. bear in mind that evil thoughts precede evil actions. the hand of the worst thief will not steal until the thief within operates upon the hand without. the members of the body which are capable of becoming instruments of sin, are not involuntary actors. lustful desires must proceed from brain and heart, ere the fire that consumes burns in the member. [illustration: young lincoln starting to school.] * * * * * a private talk to young men. . the most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest dishonor, abuse and corruption. what a snare the wonderful organism of the eye may become when used to read corrupt books or look upon licentious scenes at the theatre, or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! what an instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain, the hand, the ear, the mouth, or the tongue! what potent instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole being for time and eternity! . in like manner the organ concerning the uses of which i am to speak, has been, and continues to be, made one of the chief instruments of man's immorality, shame, disease, and death. how important to know what the legitimate uses of this member of the body are, and how great the dignity conferred upon us in the possession of this gift. on the human side this gift may be truly said to bring men nearer to the high and solemn relationship of the creator than any other which they possess. . i first deal with the destructive sin of self-abuse. there can be little doubt that vast numbers of boys are guilty of this practice. in many cases the degrading habit has been taught by others, e.g., by elder boys at school, where association largely results in mutual corruption. with others, the means of sensual gratification is found out by personal action; whilst in other cases fallen and depraved men have not hesitated to debauch the minds of mere children by teaching them this debasing practice. . thousands of youths and young men have only to use the looking-glass to see the portrait of one guilty of this loathsome sin. the effects are plainly discernible in the boy's appearance. the face and hands become pale and bloodless. the eye is destitute of its natural fire and lustre. the flesh is soft and flabby, the muscles limp and lacking healthy firmness. in cases where the habit has become confirmed, and where the system has been drained of this vital force, it is seen in positive ugliness, in a pale and cadaverous appearance, slovenly gait, slouching walk, and an impaired memory. . it is obvious that if the most vital physical force of a boy's life is being spent through this degrading habit--a habit, be it observed, of rapid growth, great strength, and difficult to break--he must develop badly. in thousands of cases the result is seen in a low stature, contracted chest, weak lungs, and liability to sore throat. tendency to cold, indigestion, depression, drowsiness, and idleness, are results distinctly traceable to this deadly practice. pallor of countenance, nervous and rheumatic affections, loss of memory, epilepsy, paralysis, and insanity find their principal predisposing cause in the same shameful waste of life. the want of moral force and strength of mind often observable in youths and young men is largely induced by this destructive and deadly sin. . large numbers of youths pass from an exhausted boyhood into the weakness, intermittent fevers, and consumption, which are said to carry off so many. if the deaths were attributed primarily to loss of strength occasioned by self-pollution, it would be much nearer the truth. it is monstrous to suppose that a boy who comes from healthy parents should decline and die. without a shade of doubt the chief cause of decay and death amongst youths and young men, is to be traced to this baneful habit. . it is a well-known fact that any man who desires to excel and retain his excellence as an accurate shot, an oarsman, a pedestrian, a pugilist, a first-class cricketer, bicyclist, student, artist, or literary man, must abstain from self-pollution and fornication. thousands of school boys and students lose their positions in the class, and are plucked at the time of their examination by reason of failure of memory, through lack of nerve and vital force, caused mainly by draining the physical frame of the seed which is the vigor of the life. . it is only true to say that thousands of young men in the early stages of a licentious career would rather lose a right hand than have their mothers or sisters know what manner of men they are. from the side of the mothers and sisters it may also be affirmed that, were they aware of the real character of those brothers and sons, they would wish that they had never been born. . let it be remembered that sexual desire is not in itself dishonorable or sinful, any more than hunger, thirst, or any other lawful and natural desire is. it is the gratification by unlawful means of this appetite which renders it so corrupting and iniquitous. . leisure means the opportunity to commit sin. unclean pictures are sought after and feasted upon, paragraphs relating to cases of divorce and seduction are eagerly read, papers and books of an immoral character and tendency greedily devoured, low and disgusting conversation indulged in and repeated. . the practical and manly counsel to every youth and young man is, entire abstinence from indulgence of the sexual faculty until such time as the marriage relationship is entered upon. neither is there, nor can there be, any exception to this rule. . no man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him. on the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing. beware of the deceitful streams of temporary gratification, whose eddying current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death. remember, how quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment. . be a young man of principle, honor, and preserve your powers. how can you look an innocent girl in the face when you are degrading your manhood with the vilest practice? keep your mind and life pure and nobility will be your crown. * * * * * remedies for the social evil. . man responsible.--every great social reform must begin with the male sex. they must either lead, or give it its support. prostitution is a sin wholly of their own making. all the misery, all the lust, as well as all the blighting consequences, are chargeable wholly to the uncontrolled sexual passion of the male. to reform sinful women, _reform the men_. teach them that the physiological truth means permanent moral, physical and mental benefit, while seductive indulgence blights and ruins. . contagious diseases.--a man or woman cannot long live an impure life without sooner or later contracting disease which brings to every sufferer not only moral degradation, but often serious and vital injuries and many times death itself becomes the only relief. . should it be regulated by law?--dr. g.j. ziegler, of philadelphia, in several medical articles says that the act of sexual connection should be made in itself the solemnization of marriage, and that when any such single act can be proven against an unmarried man, by an unmarried woman, the latter be at once invested with all the legal privileges of a wife. by bestowing this power on women very few men would risk the dangers of the society of a dissolute and scheming woman who might exercise the right to force him to a marriage and ruin his reputation and life. the strongest objection of this would be that it would increase the temptation to destroy the purity of married women, for they could be approached without danger of being forced into another marriage. but this objection could easily be harmonized with a good system of well regulated laws. many means have been tried to mitigate the social evils, but with little encouragement. in the city of paris a system of registration has been inaugurated and houses of prostitution are under the supervision of the police, yet prostitution has not been in any degree diminished. similar methods have been tried in other european towns, but without satisfactory results. . moral influence.--let it be an imperative to every clergyman, to every educator, to every statesman and to every philanthropist, to every father and to every mother, to impart that moral influence which may guide and direct the youth of the land into the natural channels of morality, chastity and health. then, and not till then, shall we see righteous laws and rightly enforced for the mitigation and extermination of the modern house of prostitution. [illustration: a turkish cigarette girl.] * * * * * the selfish slaves of doses of disease and death. . most devilish intoxication.--what is the most devilish, subtle alluring, unconquerable, hopeless and deadly form of intoxication, with which science struggles and to which it often succumbs; which eludes the restrictive grasp of legislation; lurks behind lace curtains, hides in luxurious boudoirs, haunts the solitude of the study, and with waxen face, furtive eyes and palsied step totters to the secret recesses of its self-indulgence? it is the drunkenness of drugs, and woe be unto him that crosseth the threshold of its dream-curtained portal, for though gifted with the strength of samson, the courage of richard and the genius of archimedes, he shall never return, and of him it is written that forever he leaves hope behind. . the material satan.--the material satan in this sensuous syndicate of soul and body-destroying drugs is opium, and next in order of hellish potency come cocaine and chloral. . gum opium.--gum opium, from which the sulphate of morphine is made, is the dried juice of the poppy, and is obtained principally in the orient. taken in moderate doses it acts specially upon the nervous system, deadens sensibility, and the mind becomes inactive. when used habitually and excessively it becomes a tonic, which stimulates the whole nervous system, producing intense mental exaltation and delusive visions. when the effects wear off, proportionate lassitude follows, which begets an insatiate and insane craving for the drug. under the repeated strain of the continually increasing doses, which have to be taken to renew the desired effect, the nervous system finally becomes exhausted, and mind and body are utterly and hopelessly wrecked. . cocaine.--cocaine is extracted from the leaves of the peruvian cocoa tree, and exerts a decided influence upon the nervous system, somewhat akin to that of coffee. it increases the heart action and is said to be such an exhilarant that the natives of the andes are enabled to make extra-ordinary forced marches by chewing the leaves containing it. its after effects are more depressing even than those of opium, and insanity more frequently results from its use. . chloral.--the name which is derived from the first two syllables of chlorine and alcohol, is made by passing dry chlorine gas in a continuous stream through absolute alcohol for six or eight weeks. it is a hypnotic or sleep-producing drug, and in moderate doses acts on the caliber of the blood vessels of the brain, producing a soothing effect, especially in cases of passive congestion. some patent medicines contain chloral, bromide and hyoseamus, and they have a large sale, being bought by persons of wealth, who do not know what they are composed of and recklessly take them for the effect they produce. . victims rapidly increasing.--"from my experience," said a leading and conservative druggist, "i infer that the number of what are termed opium, cocaine, and chloral "fiends" is rapidly increasing, and is greater by two or three hundred percent than a year ago, with twice as many women as men represented. i should say that one person out of every fifty is a victim of this frightful habit, which claims its doomed votaries from the extremes of social life, those who have the most and the least to live for, the upper classes and the cyprian, professional men of the finest intelligence, fifty per cent. of whom are doctors and walk into the pit with eyes wide open. and lawyers and other professional men must be added to this fated vice." . destroys the moral fiber.--"it is a habit which utterly destroys the moral fiber of its slaves, and makes unmitigated liars and thieves and forgers of them, and even murder might be added to the list of crimes, were no other road left open to the gratification of its insatiate and insane appetite. i do not know of a single case in which it has been mastered, but i do know of many where the end has been unspeakable misery, disgrace, suffering, insanity and death." . shameful death.--to particularize further would be profitless so far as the beginners are concerned, but would to heaven that those not within the shadow of this shameful death would take warning from those who are. there are no social or periodical drunkards in this sort of intoxication. the vice is not only solitary, unsocial and utterly selfish, but incessant and increasing in its demands. . appetite stronger than for liquor.--this appetite is far stronger and more uncontrollable than that for liquor, and we can spot its victim as readily as though he were an ordinary bummer. he has a pallid complexion, a shifting, shuffling manner and can't look you in the face. if you manage to catch his eye for an instant you will observe that its pupil is contracted to an almost invisible point. it is no exaggeration to say that he would barter his very soul for that which indulgence has made him too poor to purchase, and where artifice fails he will grovel in abject agony of supplication for a few grains. at the same time he resorts to all kinds of miserable and transparent shifts, to conceal his degradation. he never buys for himself, but always for some fictitious person, and often resorts to purchasing from distant points. . opium smoking.--"opium smoking," said another representative druggist, "is almost entirely confined to the chinese and they seem to thrive on it. very few others hit the pipe that we know of." . malt and alcoholic drunkenness.--alcoholic stimulants have a record of woe second to nothing. its victims are annually marching to drunkards' graves by the thousands. drunkards may be divided into three classes: first, the accidental or social drunkard; second, the periodical or spasmodic drunkard; and third, the sot. . the accidental or social drunkard is yet on safe ground. he has not acquired the dangerous craving for liquor. it is only on special occasions that he yields to excessive indulgence; sometimes in meeting a friend, or at some political blow-out. on extreme occasions he will indulge until he becomes a helpless victim, and usually as he grows older occasions will increase, and step by step he will be lead nearer to the precipice of ruin. . the periodical or spasmodic drunkard, with whom it is always the unexpected which occurs, and who at intervals exacts from his accumulated capital the usury of as prolonged a spree as his nerves and stomach will stand. science is inclined to charitably label this specimen of man a sort of a physiologic puzzle, to be as much pitied as blamed. given the benefit of every doubt, when he starts off on one of his hilarious tangents, he becomes a howling nuisance; if he has a family, keeps them continually on the ragged edge of apprehension, and is unanimously pronounced a "holy terror" by his friends. his life and future is an uncertainty. he is unreliable and cannot be long trusted. total reformation is the only hope, but it rarely is accomplished. . the sot.--a blunt term that needs no defining, for even the children comprehend the hopeless degradation it implies. laws to restrain and punish him are framed; societies to protect and reform him are organized, and mostly in vain. he is prone in life's very gutter; bloated, reeking and polluted with the doggery's slops and filth. he can fall but a few feet lower, and not until he stumbles into an unmarked, unhonored grave, where kind mother earth and the merciful mantle of oblivion will cover and conceal the awful wreck he made of god's own image. to the casual observer, the large majority of the community, these three phases, at whose vagaries many laugh, and over whose consequences millions mourn, comprehend intoxication and its results, from the filling of the cup to its shattering fall from the nerveless hand, and this is the end of the matter. would to god that it were! for at that it would be bad enough. but it is not, for wife, children and friends must suffer and drink the cup of trouble and sorrow to its dregs. * * * * * object lessons of the effects of alcohol and cigarette smoking. by prof. george henkle, who personally made the post-mortem examinations and drew the following illustrations from the diseased organs just as they appeared when first taken from the bodies of the unfortunate victims. [illustration: the stomach of an habitual drinker of alcoholic stimulants, showing the ulcerated condition of the mucous membrane, incapacitating this important organ for digestive functions.] [illustration: the stomach (interior view) of a healthy person with the first section of the small intestines.] [illustration: the liver of a drunkard who died of cirrhosis of the liver, also called granular liver, or "gin drinker's liver." the organ is much shrunken and presents rough, uneven edges, with carbuncular non-suppurative sores. in this self-inflicted disease the tissues of the liver undergo a cicatrical retraction which strangulates and partly destroys the parenchyma of the liver.] [illustration: the liver in health.] [illustration: the kidney of a man who died a drunkard, showing in upper portion the sores so often found on kidneys of hard drinkers, and in the lower portion, the obstruction formed in the internal arrangement of this organ. alcohol is a great enemy to the kidneys, and after this poison has once set in on its destructive course in these organs no remedial agents are known to exist to stop the already established disease.] [illustration: the kidney in health, with the lower section removed, to show the filtering apparatus (malphigian pyramids). natural size.] [illustration: the lungs and heart of a boy who died from the effects of cigarette smoking, showing the nicotine sediments in lungs and shrunken condition of the heart.] [illustration: the lungs and heart in health.] [illustration: a section of the diseased lung of a cigarette smoker, highly magnified.] * * * * * the destructive effects of cigarette smoking. cigarettes have been analyzed, and the most physicians and chemists were surprised to find how much opium is put into them. a tobacconist himself says that "the extent to which drugs are used in cigarettes is appalling." "havana flavoring" for this same purpose is sold everywhere by the thousand barrels. this flavoring is made from the tonka-bean, which contains a deadly poison. the wrappers, warranted to be rice paper, are sometimes made of common paper, and sometimes of the filthy scrapings of ragpickers bleached white with arsenic. what a thing for human lungs. the habit burns up good health, good resolutions, good manners, good memories, good faculties, and often honesty and truthfulness as well. cases of epilepsy, insanity and death are frequently reported as the result of smoking cigarettes, while such physicians as dr. lewis sayre, dr. hammond, and sir morell mackenzie of england, name heart trouble, blindness, cancer and other diseases as occasioned by it. leading physicians of america unanimously condemn cigarette smoking as "one of the vilest and most destructive evils that ever befell the youth of any country," declaring that "its direct tendency is a deterioration of the race." look at the pale, wilted complexion of a boy who indulges to excessive cigarette smoking. it takes no physician to diagnose his case, and death will surely mark for his own every boy and young man who will follow up the habit. it is no longer a matter of guess. it is a scientific fact which the microscope in every case verifies. [illustration: _illustrating the shrunken condition of one of the lungs of an excessive smoker_] [illustration: innocent youth.] * * * * * the dangerous vices. few persons are aware of the extent to which masturbation or self-pollution is practiced by the young of both sexes in civilized society. symptoms. the hollow, sunken eye, the blanched cheek, the withered hands, and emaciated frame, and the listless life, have other sources than the ordinary illnesses of all large communities. when a child, after having given proofs of memory and intelligence, experiences daily more and more difficulty in retaining and understanding what is taught him, it is not only from unwillingness and idleness, as is commonly supposed, but from a disease eating out life itself, brought on by a self-abuse of the private organs. besides the slow and progressive derangement of his or her health, the diminished energy of application, the languid movement, the stooping gait, the desertion of social games, the solitary walk, late rising, livid and sunken eye, and many other symptoms, will fix the attention of every intelligent and competent guardian of youth that something is wrong. [illustration: guard well the cradle. education cannot begin too young.] married people. nor are many persons sufficiently aware of the ruinous extent to which the amative propensity is indulged by married persons. the matrimonial ceremony does, indeed, sanctify the act of sexual intercourse, but it can by no means atone for nor obviate the consequences of its abuse. excessive indulgence in the married relation is, perhaps, as much owing to the force of habit, as to the force of the sexual appetite. extreme youth. more lamentable still is the effect of inordinate sexual excitement of the young and unmarried. it is not very uncommon to find a confirmed onanist, or, rather, masturbator, who has not yet arrived at the period of puberty. many cases are related in which young boys and girls, from eight to ten years of age, were taught the method of self-pollution by their older playmates, and had made serious encroachments on the fund of constitutional vitality even before any considerable degree of sexual appetite was developed. force of habit. here, again, the fault was not in the power of passion, but in the force of habit. parents and guardians of youth can not be too mindful of the character and habits of those with whom they allow young persons and children under their charge to associate intimately, and especially careful should they be with whom they allow them to sleep. sin of ignorance. it is customary to designate self-pollution as among the "vices." i think misfortune is the more appropriate term. it is true, that in the physiological sense, it is one of the very worst "transgressions of the law." but in the moral sense it is generally the sin of ignorance in the commencement, and in the end the passive submission to a morbid and almost resistless impulse. quacks. the time has come when the rising generation must be thoroughly instructed in this matter. that quack specific "ignorance" has been experimented with quite too long already. the true method of insuring all persons, young or old, against the abuses of any part, organ, function, or faculty of the wondrous machinery of life, is to teach them its use. "train a child in the way it should go" or be sure it will, amid the ten thousand surrounding temptations, find out a way in which it should not go. keeping a child in ignorant innocence is, i aver, no part of the "training" which has been taught by a wiser than solomon. boys and girls do know, will know, and must know, that between them are important anatomical differences and interesting physiological relations. teach them, i repeat, their use, or expect their abuse. hardly a young person in the world would ever become addicted to self-pollution if he or she understood clearly the consequences; if he or she knew at the outset that the practice was directly destroying the bodily stamina, vitiating the moral tone, and enfeebling the intellect. no one would pursue the disgusting habit if he or she was fully aware that it was blasting all prospects of health and happiness in the approaching period of manhood and womanhood. general symptoms of the secret habit. the effects of either self-pollution or excessive sexual indulgence, appear in many forms. it would seem as if god had written an instinctive law of remonstrance, in the innate moral sense, against this filthy vice. all who give themselves up to the excesses of this debasing indulgence, carry about with them, continually, a consciousness of their defilement, and cherish a secret suspicion that others look upon them as debased beings. they feel none of that manly confidence and gallant spirit, and chaste delight in the presence of virtuous females, which stimulate young men to pursue the course of ennobling refinement, and mature them for the social relations and enjoyments of life. this shamefacedness, or unhappy quailing of the countenance, on meeting the look of others, often follows them through life, in some instances even after they have entirely abandoned the habit, and became married men and respectable members of society. in some cases, the only complaint the patient will make on consulting you, is that he is suffering under a kind of continued fever. he will probably present a hot, dry skin, with something of a hectic appearance. though all the ordinary means of arresting such symptoms have been tried, he is none the better. the sleep seems to be irregular and unrefreshing--restlessness during the early part of the night, and in the advanced stages of the disease, profuse sweats before morning. there is also frequent starting in the sleep, from disturbing dreams. the characteristic feature is, that your patient almost always dreams of sexual intercourse. this is one of the earliest, as well as most constant symptoms. when it occurs most frequently, it is apt to be accompanied with pain. a gleety discharge from the urethra may also be frequently discovered, especially if the patient examine when at stool or after urinating. other common symptoms are nervous headache, giddiness, ringing in the ears, and a dull pain in the back part of the head. it is frequently the case that the patient suffers a stiffness in the neck, darting pains in the forehead, and also weak eyes are among the common symptoms. one very frequent, and perhaps early symptom (especially in young females) is solitariness--a disposition to seclude themselves from society. although they may be tolerably cheerful when in company, they prefer rather to be alone. the countenance has often a gloomy and worn-down expression. the patient's friends frequently notice a great change. large livid spots under the eyes is a common feature. sudden flashes of heat may be noticed passing over the patient's face. he is liable also to palpitations. the pulse is very variable, generally too slow. extreme emaciation, without any other assignable cause for it, may be set down as another very common symptom. if the evil has gone on for several years, there will be a general unhealthy appearance, of a character so marked as to enable an experienced observer at once to detect the cause. in the case of onanists especially there is a peculiar rank odor emitted from the body, by which they may be readily distinguished. one striking peculiarity of all these patients is, that they cannot look a man in the face! cowardice is constitutional with them. home treatment of the secret habit. . the first condition of recovery is a prompt and permanent abandonment of the ruinous habit. without a faithful adherence to this prohibitory law on the part of the patient all medication on the part of the physician will assuredly fail. the patient must plainly understand that future prospects, character, health, and life itself, depend on an unfaltering resistance to the morbid solicitation; with the assurance, however, that a due perseverance will eventually render, what now seems like a resistless and overwhelming propensity, not only controllable but perfectly loathsome and undesirable. . keep the mind employed by interesting the patient in the various topics of the day, and social features of the community. . plenty of bodily out of door exercise, hoeing in the garden, walking, or working on the farm; of course not too heavy work must be indulged in. . if the patient is weak and very much emaciated, cod liver oil is an excellent remedy. . diet. the patient should live principally on brown bread, oat meal, graham crackers, wheat meal, cracked or boiled wheat, or hominy, and food of that character. no meats should be indulged in whatever; milk diet if used by the patient is an excellent remedy. plenty of fruit should be indulged in; dried toast and baked apples make an excellent supper. the patient should eat early in the evening, never late at night. . avoid all tea, coffee, or alcoholic stimulants of any kind. . "early to bed and early to rise," should be the motto of every victim of this vice. a patient should take a cold bath every morning after rising. a cold water injection in moderate quantities before retiring has cured many patients. . if the above remedies are not sufficient, a family physician should be consulted. . never let children sleep together, if possible, to avoid it. discourage the children of neighbors and friends from sleeping with your children. . have your children rise early. it is the lying in bed in the morning that plays the mischief. [illustration: healthy semen, greatly magnified.] [illustration: the semen of a victim of masturbation.] * * * * * nocturnal emissions. involuntary emissions of semen during amorous dreams at night is not at all uncommon among healthy men. when this occurs from one to three or four times a month, no anxiety or concern need be felt. when the emissions take place without dreams, manifested only by stained spots in the morning on the linen, or take place at stool and are entirely beyond control, then the patient should at once seek for remedies or consult a competent physician. when blood stains are produced, then medical aid must be sought at once. home treatment for nocturnal emissions. sleep in a hard bed, and rise early and take a sponge bath in cold water every morning. eat light suppers and refrain from eating late in the evening. empty the bladder thoroughly before retiring, bathe the spine and hips with a sponge dipped in cold water. _never sleep lying on the back._ avoid all highly seasoned food and read good books, and keep the mind well employed. take regular and vigorous outdoor exercise every day. avoid all coffee, tea, wine, beer and all alcoholic liquors. don't use tobacco, and keep the bowels free. [illustration: healthy testicle.] [illustration: a testicle wasted by masturbation.] prescription.--ask your druggist to put you up a good iron tonic and take it regularly according to his directions. beware of advertising quacks. beware of these advertising schemes that advertise a speedy cure for "loss of youth," "lost vitality," "a cure for impotency," "renewing of old age," etc. do not allow these circulating pamphlets and circulars to concern you the least. if you have a few _nocturnal emissions_, remember it is only a mark of vitality and health, and not a sign of a deathly disease, as many of these advertising quacks would lead you to believe. use your private organs only for what your creator intended they should be used, and there will be no occasion for you to be frightened by the deception of quacks. [illustration: the two paths--what will the boy become? at : study & cleanliness at : purity & economy at : honorable success at : venerable old age at : cigarettes & self-abuse at : impurity & dissipation at : vice & degeneracy at : moral-physical wreck] * * * * * lost manhood restored. . resolute desistence.--the first step towards the restoration of lost manhood is a resolute desistence from these terrible sins. each time the temptation is overcome, the power to resist becomes stronger, and the fierce fire declines. each time the sin is committed, its hateful power strengthens, and the fire of lust is increased. remember, that you cannot commit these sins, and maintain health and strength. . avoid being alone.--avoid being alone when the temptation comes upon you to commit self-abuse. change your thoughts at once; "keep the heart diligently, for out of it are the issues of life." . avoid evil companions.--avoid evil companions, lewd conversation, bad pictures, corrupt and vicious novels, books, and papers. abstain from all intoxicating drinks. these inflame the blood, excite the passions, and stimulate sensuality; weakening the power of the brain, they always impair the power of self-restraint. smoking is very undesirable. keep away from the moral pesthouses. remember that these houses are the great resort of fallen and depraved men and women. the music, singing, and dancing are simply a blind to cover the intemperance and lust, which hold high carnival in these guilded hells. this, be it remembered, is equally true of the great majority of the theatres. . avoid strong tea, or coffee.--take freely of cocoa, milk, and bread and milk, or oatmeal porridge. meats, such as beef and mutton, use moderately. we would strongly recommend to young men of full habit, vegetarian diet. fruits in their season, partake liberally; also fresh vegetables. brown bread and toast, as also rice, and similar puddings, are always suitable. avoid rich pastry and new bread. . three meals a day are abundant.--avoid suppers, and be careful, if troubled with nightly emissions, not to take any liquid, not even water, after seven o'clock in the evening, at latest. this will diminish the secretions of the body, when asleep, and the consequent emissions, which in the early hours of the morning usually follow the taking of any kind of drink. do not be anxious or troubled by an occasional emission, say, for example, once a fortnight. . rest on a hard mattress.--keep the body cool when asleep; heat arising from a load of bed-clothes, is most undesirable. turn down the counterpane, and let the air have free course through the blankets. . relieve the system.--as much as possible relieve the system of urine before going to sleep. on rising, bathe if practicable. if you cannot bear cold water, take the least possible chill off the water (cold water, however, is best). if bathing is not practicable, wash the body with cold water, and keep scrupulously clean. the reaction caused by cold water, is most desirable. rub the body dry with a rough towel. drink a good draught of cold water. . exercise.--get fifteen minutes' brisk walk, if possible before breakfast. if any sense of faintness exists, eat a crust of bread, or biscuit. be regular in your meals, and do not fear to make a hearty breakfast. this lays a good foundation for the day. take daily good, but not violent exercise. walk until you can distinctly feel the tendency to perspiration. this will keep the pores of the skin open and in healthy condition. . medicines.--take the medicines, if used, regularly and carefully. bromide of potassium is a most valuable remedy in allaying lustful and heated passions and appetites. unless there is actual venereal disease, medicine should be very little resorted to. . avoid the streets at night.--beware of corrupt companions. fast young men and women should be shunned everywhere. cultivate a taste for good reading and evening studies. home life with its gentle restraints, pure friendships, and healthful discipline, should be highly valued. there is no liberty like that of a well-regulated home. to large numbers of young men in business houses, home life is impracticable. . be of good cheer and courage.--recovery will be gradual, and not sudden; vital force is developed slowly from within. the object aimed at by medicine and counsel, is to aid and increase nervous and physical vigor, and give tone to the demoralized system. do not pay the slightest heed to the exaggerated statements of the wretched quack doctors, who advertise everywhere. avoid them as you would a pestilence. their great object is, through exciting your fears, to get you into their clutches, in order to oppress you with heavy and unjust payments. be careful, not to indulge in fancies, or morbid thoughts and feelings. be hopeful, and play the part of a man determined to overcome. * * * * * manhood wrecked and rescued. . the noblest functions of manhood.--the noblest functions of manhood are brought into action in the office of the parent. it is here that man assumes the prerogative of a god and becomes a creator. how essential that every function of his physical system should be perfect, and every faculty of his mind free from that which would degrade; yet how many drag their purity through the filth of masturbation, revel in the orgies of the debauchee, and worship at the shrine of the prostitute, until, like a tree blighted by the livid lightning, they stand with all their outward form of men, but without life. . threshold of honor.--think of a man like that; in whom the passions and vices have burned themselves out, putting on the airs of a saint and claiming to have reformed. aye, reformed, when there is no longer sweetness in the indulgence of lust. think of such loathsome bestiality, dragging its slimy body across the threshold of honor and nobility and asking a pure woman, with the love-light of heaven in her eyes, to pass her days with him; to accept him as her lord; to be satisfied with the burnt-out, shriveled forces of manhood left; to sacrifice her purity that he may be redeemed, and to respect in a husband what she would despise in the brute. . stop.--if you are, then, on the highway to this state of degradation, stop. if already you have sounded the depths of lost manhood, then turn, and from the fountain of life regain your power, before you perpetrate the terrible crime of marriage, thus wrecking a woman's life and perhaps bringing into the world children who will live only to suffer and curse the day on which they were born and the father who begat them. . sexual impotency.--sexual impotency means sexual starvation, and drives many wives to ruin, while a similar lack among wives drives husbands to libertinism. nothing so enhances the happiness of married couples as this full, life-abounding, sexual vigor in the husband, thoroughly reciprocated by the wife, yet completely controlled by both. . two classes of sufferers.--there are two classes of sufferers. first, those who have only practiced self-abuse and are suffering from emissions. second, those who by overindulgence in marital relations, or by dissipation with women, have ruined their forces. . the remedy.--for self-abuse: when the young man has practiced self-abuse for some time, he finds, upon quitting the habit, that he has nightly emissions. he becomes alarmed, reads every sensational advertisement in the papers, and at once comes to the conclusion that he must take something. _drugs are not necessary._ . stop the cause.--the one thing needful, above all others, is to stop the cause. i have found that young men are invariably mistaken as to what is the cause. when asked as to the first cause of their trouble, they invariably say it was self-abuse, etc., but it is not. _it is the thought._ this precedes the handling, and, like every other cause, must be removed in order to have right results. . stop the thought.--but remember, _stop the thought_! you must not look after every woman with lustful thoughts, nor go courting girls who will allow you to hug, caress and kiss them, thus rousing your passions almost to a climax. do not keep the company of those whose only conversation is of a lewd and depraved character, but keep the company of those ladies who awaken your higher sentiments and nobler impulses, who appeal to the intellect and rouse your aspiration, in whose presence you would no more feel your passions aroused than in the presence of your own mother. . you will get well.--remember you will get well. don't fear. fear destroys strength and therefore increases the trouble. many get downhearted, discouraged, despairing--the very worst thing that can happen, doing as much harm, and in many cases more, than their former dissipation. brooding kills; hope enlivens. then sing with joy that the savior of knowledge has vanquished the death-dealing ignorance of the past; that the glorious strength of manhood has awakened and cast from you forever the grinning skeleton of vice. be your better self, proud that your thoughts in the day-time are as pure as you could wish your dreams to be at night. . helps.--do not use tobacco or liquor. they inflame the passions and irritate the nervous system; they only gratify base appetites and never rouse the higher feelings. highly spiced food should be eschewed, not chewed. meat should be eaten sparingly, and never at the last meal. . don't eat too much.--if not engaged in hard physical labor, try eating two meals a day. never neglect the calls of nature, and if possible have a passage from the bowels every night before retiring. when this is not done the feces often drop into the rectum during sleep, producing heat which extends to the sexual organs, causing the lascivious dreams and emission. this will be noticed especially in the morning, when the feces usually distend the rectum and the person nearly always awakes with sexual passions aroused. if necessary, use injections into the rectum of from one to two quarts of water, blood heat, two or three times a week. be sure to keep clean and see to it that no matter collects under the foreskin. wash off the organ every night and take a quick, cold hand-bath every morning. have something to do. never be idle. idleness always worships at the shrine of passion. . the worst time of all.--many are ruined by allowing their thoughts to run riot in the morning. owing to the passions being roused as stated above, the young man lies half awake and half dozing, rousing his passions and reveling in lascivious thought for hours perhaps, thus completely sapping the fountains of purity, establishing habits of vice that will bind him with iron bands, and doing his physical system more injury than if he had practiced self-abuse, and had the emission in a few minutes. jump out of bed at once on waking, and never allow the thought to master you. . a hand bath.--a hand bath in cold water every morning will diminish those rampant sexual cravings, that crazy, burning, lustful desire so sensualizing to men by millions; lessen prostitution by toning down that passion which alone patronizes it, and relieve wives by the millions of those excessive conjugal demands which ruin their sexual health; besides souring their tempers, and then demanding millions of money for resultant doctor bills. . will get well.--feel no more concern about yourself. say to yourself, "i shall and will get well under this treatment," as you certainly will. pluck is half the battle. mind acts and reads directly on the sexual organs. determining to get well gets you well; whilst all fear that you will become worse makes you worse. all worrying over your case as if it were hopeless, all moody and despondent feelings, tear the life right out of these organs, whilst hopefulness puts new life into them. [illustration] [illustration: innocent childhood.] * * * * * the curse and consequence of secret diseases. . the sins of the fathers are visited on the children.--if persons who contract secret diseases were the only sufferers, there would be less pity and less concern manifested by the public and medical profession. . there are many secret diseases which leave an hereditary taint, and innocent children and grandchildren are compelled to suffer as well as those who committed the immoral act. . gonorrhoea (clap) is liable to leave the parts sensitive and irritable, and the miseries of spermatorrhoea, impotence, chronic rheumatism, stricture and other serious ailments may follow. . syphilis (pox).--statistics prove that over per cent. of the children born alive perish within the first year. outside of this frightful mortality, how many children are born, inheriting eruptions of the skin, foul ulcerations swelling of the bones, weak eyes or blindness, scrofula, idiocy, stunted growth, and finally insanity, all on account of the father's early vices. the weaknesses and afflictions of parents are by natural laws visited upon their children. . the mother often takes the disease from her husband, and she becomes an innocent sufferer to the dreaded disease. however, some other name generally is applied to the disease, and with perfect confidence in her husband she suffers pain all her life, ignorant of the true cause. her children have diseases of the eyes, skin, glands and bones, and the doctor will apply the term scrofula, when the result is nothing more or less than inherited syphilis. let every man remember, the vengeance to a vital law knows only justice, not mercy, and a single moment of illicit pleasure will bring many curses upon him, and drain out the life of his innocent children, and bring a double burden of disease and sorrow to his wife. . if any man who has been once diseased is determined to marry, he should have his constitution tested thoroughly and see that every seed of the malady in the system has been destroyed. he should bathe daily in natural sulphur waters, as, for instance, the hot springs in arkansas, or the sulphur springs in florida, or those springs known as specific remedies for syphilic diseases. as long as the eruptions on the skin appear by bathing in sulphur water there is danger, and if the eruptions cease and do not appear, it is very fair evidence that the disease has left the system, yet it is not an infallible test. . how many bright and intelligent young men have met their doom and blighted the innocent lives of others, all on account of the secret follies and vices of men. . protection.--girls, you, who are too poor and too honest to disguise aught in your character, with your sweet soul shining through every act of your lives, beware of the men who smile upon you. study human nature, and try and select a virtuous companion. . syphilitic poison ineradicable.--many of our best and ablest physicians assert that syphilitic poison, once infected, there can be no total disinfection during life; some of the virus remains in the system, though it may seem latent. boards of state charities in discussing the causes of the existence of whole classes of defectives hold to the opinion given above. the massachusetts board in its report has these strong words on the subject: "the worst is that, though years may have passed since its active stage, it permeates the very seed of life and causes strange affections or abnormalities in the offspring, or it tends to lessen their vital force, to disturb or to repress their growth, to lower their standard of mental and bodily vigor, and to render life puny and short." . a serpent's tooth.--"_the direct blood-poisoning, caused by the absorption into the system of the virus (syphilis) is more hideous and terrible in its effect than that of a serpent's tooth._ this may kill outright, and there's an end; but that, stingless and painless, slowly and surely permeates and vitiates the whole system of which it becomes part and parcel, like myriads of trichinae, and can never be utterly cast out, even by salivation. "woe to the family and to the people in whose veins the poison courses! "it would seem that nothing could end the curse except utter extermination. that, however, would imply a purpose of eternal vengeance, involving the innocent with the guilty." this disease compared with small-pox is as an ulcer upon a finger to an ulcer in the vitals. small-pox does not vitiate the blood of a people; this disease does. its existence in a primary form implies moral turpitude. . cases cited.--many cases might be cited. we give but one. a man who had contracted the disease reformed his ways and was apparently cured. he married, and although living a moral life was compelled to witness in his little girl's eye-balls, her gums, and her breath the result of his past sins. no suffering, no expense, no effort would have been too great could he but be assured that his offspring might be freed from these results. . prevention better than cure.--here is a case where the old adage, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," may be aptly applied. our desire would be to herald to all young men in stentorian tones the advice, "avoid as a deadly enemy any approaches or probable pitfalls of the disease. let prevention be your motto and then you need not look for a cure." . help proffered.--realizing the sad fact that many are afflicted with this disease we would put forth our utmost powers to help even these, and hence give on the following pages some of the best methods of cure. how to cure gonorrhoea (clap). causes, impure connections, etc. symptoms.--as the disease first commences to manifest itself, the patient notices a slight itching at the point of the male organ, which is shortly followed by a tingling or smarting sensation, especially on making water. this is on account of the inflammation, which now gradually extends backward, until the whole canal is involved. the orifice of the urethra is now noticed to be swollen and reddened, and on inspection a slight discharge will be found to be present. and if the penis is pressed between the finger and thumb, matter or pus exudes. as the inflammatory stage commences, the formation of pus is increased, which changes from a thin to a thick yellow color, accompanied by a severe scalding on making water. the inflammation increases up to the fifth day, often causing such pain, on urinating, that the patient is tortured severely. when the disease reaches its height, the erections become somewhat painful, when the discharge may be streaked with blood. home treatment. first, see that the bowels are loose--if not, a cathartic should be given. if the digestive powers are impaired, they should be corrected and the general health looked after. if the system is in a good condition, give internally five drops of gelseminum every two hours. the first thing to be thought of is to pluck the disease in its bud, which is best done by injections. the best of these are: tinct. hydrastis, one drachm; pure water, four ounces; to be used three times a day after urinating. zinc, sulphate, ten grains; pure water, eight ounces; to be used after urinating every morning and night. equal parts of red wine and pure water are often used, and are of high repute, as also one grain of permanganate of potash to four ounces of water. if the above remedies are ineffectual, a competent physician should be consulted. general treatment.--one of the best injections for a speedy cure is: hydrastis, oz. water, oz. mix and with a small syringe inject into the penis four or five times a day after urinating, until relieved, and diminish the number of injections as the disease disappears. no medicine per mouth need be given, unless the patient is in poor health. syphilis (pox). . this is the worst of all diseases except cancer--no tissue of the body escapes the ravages of this dreadful disease--bone, muscle, teeth, skin and every part of the body are destroyed by its deforming and corroding influence. . symptoms.--about eight days after the exposure a little redness and then a pimple, which soon becomes an open sore, makes its appearance, on or about the end of the penis in males or on the external or inner parts of the uterus of females. pimples and sores soon multiply, and after a time little hard lumps appear in the groin, which soon develop into a blue tumor called _bubo._ copper colored spots may appear in the face, hair fall out, etc. canker and ulcerations in the mouth and various parts of the body soon develop. . treatment.--secure the very best physician your means will allow without delay. . local treatment of buboes.--to prevent suppuration, treatment must be instituted as soon as they appear. compresses, wet in a solution composed of half an ounce of muriate of ammonia, three drachms of the fluid extract of belladonna, and a pint of water, are beneficial, and should be continuously applied. the tumor may be scattered by painting it once a day with tincture of iodine. . for eruptions.--the treatment of these should be mainly constitutional. perfect cleanliness should be observed, and the sulphur, spirit vapor, or alkaline bath freely used. good diet and the persistent use of alteratives will generally prove successful in removing this complication. recipe for syphilis. bin-iodide of mercury, gr. extract of licorice, gr. make into pills. take one morning and night. _lotion._ bichloride of mercury, gr. lime water, pt. shake well, and wash affected parts night and morning. for eruptions on tongue. cyanide of silver, / gr. powdered iridis, gr. divide into parts. to be rubbed on tongue once a day. for eruptions in syphilis. a per cent. ointment of carbolic acid, in a good preparation. bubo. treatment. warm poultice of linseed meal, mercurial plaster, lead ointment. gleet (chronic clap). . symptoms.--when gonorrhoea is not cured at the end of twenty-one or twenty-eight days, at which time all discharge should have ceased, we have a condition known as chronic clap, which is nothing more or less than gleet. at this time most of the symptoms have abated, and the principal one needing medical attention is the discharge, which is generally thin, and often only noticed in the morning on arising, when a scab will be noticed, glutinating the lips of the external orifice. or, on pressing with the thumb and finger from behind, forward, a thin, white discharge can be noticed. . home treatment.--the diet of patients affected with this disease is all-important, and should have careful attention. the things that should be avoided are highly spiced and stimulating foods and drinks, as all forms of alcohol, or those containing acids. indulgence in impure thoughts is often sufficient to keep a discharge, on account of the excitement it produces to the sensitive organs, thus inducing erections, which always do harm. . general treatment.--the best injection is: nitrate of silver, / grain pure water, oz. inject three or four times a day after urinating. stricture of the urethra. symptoms.--the patient experiences difficulty in voiding the urine, several ineffectual efforts being made before it will flow. the stream is diminished in size, of a flattened or spiral form, or divided in two or more parts, and does not flow with the usual force. treatment.--it is purely a surgical case and a competent surgeon must be consulted. phimosis. . cause.--is a morbid condition of the penis, in which the glans penis cannot be uncovered, either on account of a congenital smallness of the orifice of the foreskin, or it may be due to the acute stage of gonorrhoea, or caused by the presence of soft chancre. . symptoms.--it is hardly necessary to give a description of the symptoms occurring in this condition, for it will be easily diagnosed, and its appearances are so indicative that all that is necessary is to study into its cause and treat the disease with reference to that. treatment.--if caused from acute gonorrhoea, it should be treated first by hot fomentations, to subdue the swelling, when the glans penis can be uncovered. if the result of the formation of chancre under the skin, they should be treated by a surgeon, for it may result in the sloughing off of the end of the penis, unless properly treated. [illustration: illustrating magnetic influences. animal magnetism is supposed to radiate from and encircle every human being.] * * * * * animal magnetism. what it is and how to use it. . magnetism existing between the bodies of mankind.--it is rational to believe that there is a magnetism existing between the bodies of mankind, which may have either a beneficial or a damaging effect upon our health, according to the conditions which are produced, or the nature of the individuals who are brought in contact with each other. as an illustration of this point we might consider that, all nature is governed by the laws of attraction and repulsion, or in other words, by positive and negative forces. these subtle forces or laws in nature which we call attraction or repulsion, are governed by the affinity--or sameness--or the lack of affinity--or sameness--which exists between what may be termed the combination of atoms or molecules which goes to make up organic structure. . law of attraction.--where this affinity--or sameness--exists between the different things, there is what we term the law of attraction, or what may be termed the disposition to unite together. where there is no affinity existing between the nature of the different particles of matter, there is what may be termed the law of repulsion, which has a tendency to destroy the harmony which would otherwise take place. . magnetism of the mind.--now, what is true of the magnet and steel, is also true--from the sameness of their nature--of two bodies. and what is true of the body in this sense, is also true of the sameness or magnetism of the mind. hence, _by the laying on of hands_, or by the association of the minds of individuals, we reach the same result as when a combination is produced in any department of nature. where this sameness of affinity exists, there will be a blending of forces, which has a tendency to build up vitality. . a proof.--as a proof of this position, how often have you found the society of strangers to be so repulsive to your feelings, that you have no disposition to associate. others seem to bring with them a soothing influence that draws you closer to them. all these involuntary likes and dislikes are but the results of the _animal magnetism_ that we are constantly throwing off from our bodies,--although seemingly imperceptible to our internal senses.--the dog can scent his master, and determine the course which he pursues, no doubt from similar influences. . home harmony.--many of the infirmities that afflict humanity are largely due to a want of an understanding of its principles, and the right applications of the same. i believe that if this law of magnetism was more fully understood and acted upon, there would be a far greater harmony in the domestic circle; the health of parents and children might often be preserved where now sickness and discord so frequently prevail. . the law of magnetism.--when two bodies are brought into contact with each other, the weak must naturally draw from the strong until both have become equal. and as long as this equality exists there will be perfect harmony between individuals, because of the reciprocation which exists in their nature. . survival of the fittest.--but if one should gain the advantage of the other in magnetic attraction, the chances are that through the law of development, or what has been termed the "survival of the fittest"--the stronger will rob the weaker until one becomes robust and healthy, while the other grows weaker and weaker day by day. this frequently occurs with children sleeping together, also between husband and wife. . sleeping with invalids.--healthy, hearty, vigorous persons sleeping with a diseased person is always at a disadvantage. the consumptive patient will draw from the strong, until the consumptive person becomes the strong patient and the strong person will become the consumptive. there are many cases on record to prove this statement. a well person should never sleep with an invalid if he desires to keep his health unimpaired, for the weak will take from the strong, until the strong becomes the weak and the weak the strong. many a husband has died from a lingering disease which saved his wife from an early grave. he took the disease from his wife because he was the stronger, and she became better and he perished. . husband and wife.--it is not always wise that husband and wife should sleep together, nor that children--whose temperament does not harmonize--should be compelled to sleep in the same bed. by the same law it is wrong for the young to sleep with old persons. some have slept in the same bed with persons, when in the morning they have gotten up seemingly more tired than when they went to bed. at other times with different persons, they have lain awake two-thirds of the night in pleasant conversation and have gotten up in the morning without scarcely realizing that they had been to sleep at all, yet have felt perfectly rested and refreshed. . magnetic healing, or what has been known as the laying on of hands.--a nervous prostration is a negative condition beneath the natural, by the laying on of hands a person in a good, healthy condition is capable of communicating to the necessity of the weak. for the negative condition of the patient will as naturally draw from the strong, as the loadstone draws from the magnet, until both become equally charged. and as fevers are a positive condition of the system "beyond the natural," the normal condition of the healer will, by the laying on of the hands, absorb these positive atoms, until the fever of the patient becomes reduced or cured. as a proof of this the magnetic healer often finds himself or herself prostrated after treating the weak, and excited or feverish after treating a feverish patient. [illustration: well mated.] * * * * * how to read character. how to tell disposition and character by the nose. . large noses.--bonaparte chose large-nosed men for his generals, and the opinion prevails that large noses indicate long heads and strong minds. not that great noses cause great minds, but that the motive or powerful temperament cause both. . flat noses.--flat noses indicate flatness of mind and character, by indicating a poor, low organic structure. . broad noses.--broad noses indicate large passage-ways to the lungs, and this, large lungs and vital organs and this, great strength of constitution, and hearty animal passions along with selfishness; for broad noses, broad shoulders, broad heads, and large animal organs go together. but when the nose is narrow at the base, the nostrils are small, because the lungs are small and need but small avenues for air; and this indicates a predisposition to consumptive complaints, along with an active brain and nervous system, and a passionate fondness for literary pursuits. . sharp noses.--sharp noses indicate a quick, clear, penetrating, searching, knowing, sagacious mind, and also a scold; indicate warmth of love, hate, generosity, moral sentiment--indeed, positiveness in everything. . blunt noses.--blunt noses indicate and accompany obtuse intellects and perceptions, sluggish feelings, and a soulless character. . roman noses.--the roman nose indicates a martial spirit, love of debate, resistance, and strong passions, while hollow, pug noses indicate a tame, easy, inert, sly character, and straight, finely-formed grecian noses harmonious characters. seek their acquaintance. disposition and character by stature. . tall persons.--tall persons have high heads, and are aspiring, aim high, and seek conspicuousness, while short ones have flat heads, and seek the lower forms of worldly pleasures. tall persons are rarely mean, though often grasping; but very penurious persons are often broad-built. . small persons.--small persons generally have exquisite mentalities, yet less power--the more precious the article, the smaller the package in which it is done up,--while great men are rarely dwarfs, though great size often co-exists with sluggishness. disposition and character by the walk. . awkward.--those whose motions are awkward yet easy, possess much efficiency and positiveness of character, yet lack polish; and just in proportion as they become refined in mind will their movements be correspondingly improved. a short and quick step indicates a brisk and active but rather contracted mind, whereas those who take long steps generally have long heads; yet if the step is slow, they will make comparatively little progress, while those whose step is long and quick will accomplish proportionately much, and pass most of their competitors on the highway of life. . a dragging step.--those who sluff or drag their heels, drag and drawl in everything; while those who walk with a springing, bouncing step, abound in mental snap and spring. those whose walk is mincing, affected, and artificial, rarely, if ever, accomplish much; whereas those who walk carelessly, that is, naturally, are just what they appear to be, and put on nothing for outside show. . the different modes of walking.--in short, every individual has his own peculiar mode of moving, which exactly accords with his mental character; so that, as far as you can see such modes, you can decipher such outlines of character. the disposition and character by laughing. . laughter expressive of character.--laughter is very expressive of character. those who laugh very heartily have much cordiality and whole-souledness of character, except that those who laugh heartily at trifles have much feeling, yet little sense. those whose giggles are rapid but light, have much intensity of feeling, yet lack power; whereas those who combine rapidity with force in laughing, combine them in character. . vulgar laugh.--vulgar persons always laugh vulgarly, and refined persons show refinement in their laugh. those who ha, ha right out, unreservedly, have no cunning, and are open-hearted in everything; while those who suppress laughter, and try to control their countenances in it, are more or less secretive. those who laugh with their mouths closed are non-committal; while those who throw it wide open are unguarded and unequivocal in character. . suppressed laughter.--those who, suppressing laughter for a while, burst forth volcano-like, have strong characteristics, but are well-governed, yet violent when they give way to their feelings. then there is the intellectual laugh, the love laugh, the horse laugh, the philoprogenitive laugh, the friendly laugh, and many other kinds of laugh, each indicative of corresponding mental developments. disposition and character by the mode of shaking hands. their expression of character.--thus, those who give a tame and loose hand, and shake lightly, have a cold, if not heartless and selfish disposition, rarely sacrificing much for others, are probably conservatives, and lack warmth and soul. but those who grasp firmly, and shake heartily, have a corresponding whole-souledness of character, are hospitable, and will sacrifice business to friends; while those who bow low when they shake hands, add deference to friendship, and are easily led, for good or bad, by friends. [illustration: an easy-going disposition.] the disposition and character by the mouth and eyes. . different forms of mouths.--every mouth differs from every other, and indicates a coincident character. large mouths express a corresponding quantity of mentality, while small ones indicate a lesser amount. a coarsely-formed mouth indicates power, while one finely-formed indicates exquisite susceptibilities. hence small, delicately formed mouths indicate only common minds, with very fine feelings and much perfection of character. . characteristics.--whenever the muscles about the mouth are distinct, the character is correspondingly positive, and the reverse. those who open their mouths wide and frequently, thereby evince an open soul, while closed mouths, unless to hide deformed teeth, are proportionately secretive. . eyes.--those who keep their eyes half shut are peek-a-boos and eaves-droppers. . expressions of the eye.--the mere expression of the eye conveys precise ideas of the existing and predominant states of the mentality and physiology. as long as the constitution remains unimpaired, the eye is clear and bright, but becomes languid and soulless in proportion as the brain has been enfeebled. wild, erratic persons have a half-crazed expression of eye, while calmness, benignancy, intelligence, purity, sweetness, love, lasciviousness, anger, and all the other mental affections, express themselves quite as distinctly by the eye as voice, or any other mode. . color of the eyes.--some inherit fineness from one parent, and coarseness from the other, while the color of the eye generally corresponds with that of the skin, and expresses character. light eyes indicate warmth of feeling, and dark eyes power. . garments.--those, who keep their coats buttoned up, fancy high-necked and closed dresses, etc., are equally non-communicative, but those who like open, free, flowing garments, are equally open-hearted and communicative. the disposition and character by the color of the hair. . different colors.--coarseness and fineness of texture in nature indicate coarse and fine-grained feelings and characters, and since black signifies power, and red ardor, therefore coarse black hair and skin signify great power of character of some kind, along with considerable tendency to the sensual; yet fine black hair and skin indicate strength of character, along with purity and goodness. . coarse hair.--coarse black hair and skin, and coarse red hair and whiskers, indicate powerful animal passions, together with corresponding strength of character; while fine or light, or auburn hair indicates quick susceptibilities, together with refinement and good taste. . fine hair.--fine dark or brown hair indicates the combination of exquisite susceptibilities with great strength of character, while auburn hair, with a florid countenance, indicates the highest order of sentiment and intensity of feeling, along with corresponding purity of character, combined with the highest capacities for enjoyment and suffering. . curly hair.--curly hair or beard indicates a crisp, excitable, and variable disposition, and much diversity of character--now blowing hot, now cold--along with intense love and hate, gushing, glowing emotions, brilliancy, and variety of talent. so look out for ringlets; they betoken april weather--treat them gently, lovingly, and you will have the brightest, clearest sunshine, and the sweetest balmiest breezes. . straight hair.--straight, even, smooth, and glossy hair indicate strength, harmony, and evenness of character, and hearty, whole-souled affections, as well as a clear head and superior talents; while straight, stiff, black hair and beard indicate a coarse, strong, rigid, straight-forward character. . abundance of hair.--abundance of hair and beard signifies virility and a great amount of character; while a thin beard signifies sterility and a thinly settled upper story, with rooms to let, so that the beard is very significant of character. . fiery red hair indicates a quick and fiery disposition. persons with such hair generally have intense feelings--love and hate intensely--yet treat them kindly, and you have the warmest friends, but ruffle them, and you raise a hurricane on short notice. this is doubly true of auburn curls. it takes but little kindness, however, to produce a calm and render them as fair as a summer morning. red-headed people in general are not given to hold a grudge. they are generally of a very forgiving disposition. secretive dispositions. . a man that naturally wears his hat upon the top or back of the head is frank and outspoken; will easily confide and have many confidential friends, and is less liable to keep a secret. he will never do you any harm. . if a man wears his hat well down on the forehead, shading the eyes more or less, will always keep his own counsel. he will not confide a secret, and if criminally inclined will be a very dangerous character. . if a lady naturally inclines to high-necked dresses and collars, she will keep her secrets to herself if she has any. in courtship or love she is an uncertainty, as she will not reveal sentiments of her heart. the secretive girl, however, usually makes a good housekeeper and rarely gets mixed into neighborhood difficulties. as a wife she will not be the most affectionate, nor will she trouble her husband with many of her trials or difficulties. * * * * * twilight sleep. some years ago two german physicians, kroenig and grauss, of the university of baden, startled the world by announcing: "dammerschlaf" or "twilight sleep," a treatment which rendered childbirth almost painless and free from dangerous complications. a woman's clinic was established at freiburg where a combination of scopolamine and morphine was given. the muscular activity of the pelvic organs was not lessened, the length of labor was shortened, and instruments were rarely necessary. abbott's h-m-c is another sedative composed of hyoseine, morphine, and cactoid. it is less dangerous than the other remedy, and accomplishes the same result, hence is greatly preferred. the utmost caution is necessary in the administration of either of these drugs, and the most competent medical supervision is essential to their success. cautions.--the patient should not be left a moment without medical supervision. the lying in chamber should be darkened, and kept as quiet as possible. * * * * * painless childbirth. why should a woman suffer?--childbirth is a natural function, as natural as eating, sleeping or walking. if the laws of nature are complied with it loses most, if not all, of its terrors. the facts show that indian women, and those of other uncivilized races have children without experiencing pain, and with none of the so common modern complications. what is the reason?--they live a natural, out of doors life, free from the evils and restrictions of present day civilization in dress and habits of life. a normal life.--the expectant mother should therefore live a perfectly rational life, keeping the stomach and intestines especially healthy and active, and hence the general physical condition good. an abundance of fresh air, hearty exercise, and childbirth will pass over without any abnormal consequences. * * * * * the diseases of women. the woman's place is in the home.--for centuries the world has stuck to this rule. because the woman has been considered less fit for the struggles of the active workaday world, she has been kept at home, shut in from the air and sunshine, deprived of healthy exercise, and obliged to live a life of confinement and inactivity. what is the result?--in connection with menstruation, pregnancy and child bearing a long list of diseases peculiar to woman have arisen, most of which through proper food and exercise could be avoided. in matters so vital to posterity false modesty and ignorance can no longer be tolerated. chlorosis or anaemia. _home treatment_: plenty of good food and fresh air will do much to restore the blood. keep the bowels free. satisfactory results have been brought about by a systematic use of iron as a tonic. disorders of the menses. retention of menstruation. _treatment_: when due to the condition of the blood, recommend good food, fresh air, and sunshine to improve circulation. if the result of cold and exposure means and appliances for restoring the circulation must be adopted. in either case the bowels should be kept open by injections. vicarious menstruation. _treatment_: no attempt should be made to stop the hemorrhage during the monthly period. the discharge is usually light although it occasionally causes great weakness. this disorder is caused by the suppression of the menses, and must be treated accordingly between periods. cessation of the menses. commonly called "change of life." _treatment_: at this dangerous and trying period in a woman's life she must adopt the utmost regularity in the habits of her existence. hot baths, taken just before retiring, will relieve the uncomfortable feeling so common at this time of life. disorders of the womb. cancer of the womb. _treatment_: call at once a competent physician. displacement of the womb. _treatment_: evacuate the bowels and the bladder by means of injections, and the catheter. place the fingers in the vagina, locate the mouth of the womb, insert finger into it, and gently pull the organ into its natural position. dropsy of the womb. _treatment_: use tonics freely together with vapor baths, and frequent hot hip baths. falling of the womb. _treatment_: build up the physical condition by an abundance of good food, fresh air and sunshine, with moderate exercise. astringent injections and vaginal suppositories of oak bark, myrrh, and cocoa-butter will usually bring relief. inflammation of the womb. _treatment_: apply stimulating liniment to the abdomen. keep body warm and moist especially at extremities. add - drops of carbolic acid to one quart of warm water and use as a vaginal douche. keep bowels open. furnish light, nourishing diet, and give tonics. neuralgia of the womb. _treatment_: keep feet warm and give injections to the bowels of lobelia, lady slipper, and skullcap. rub the abdomen with liniment. absolute quiet, above all else, will bring relief. diseases of the vagina. vaginitis, or inflammation of the vagina. _treatment_: complete rest. use distilled sweet clover with a slight infusion of lady slipper warm, three times a day as a vaginal injection. prolapsus of the vagina. _treatment_: when the walls of the vagina become folded upon themselves through abortion, rupture during delivery, excessive indulgence, masturbation, etc. it is called prolapsus. use an astringent suppository or injection. spasm of the vagina. _treatment_: this is nothing more than a nervous condition causing the muscles of the vagina to spasm thus closing the passage, and rendering conception almost impossible. outdoor exercise, light but nourishing diet, and general attention to the nervous system will bring prompt relief. intercourse, if attempted, should be quiet and unfrequent. an effort should be made to keep the thoughts on other subjects. diseases of the external female genitals. inflammation and abscess. _treatment_: wash the parts often with warm water, distilled witch hazel, and strong infusion of lobelia. keep the bowels free. in severe cases apply poultices of ground flaxseed, sprinkled over with golden seal and lobelia. after poultices are removed, cleanse parts with warm water, containing a little tincture of myrrh. pruritis. _treatment_: a very mortifying and uncomfortable affliction, accompanied by an almost uncontrollable desire to scratch the parts. the itching is due to uncleanliness, excessive masturbation, violent intercourse, inflammation of the bladder, stomach or liver trouble etc. bathe the affected parts well with borax water, and apply a wash of equal parts witch hazel, and an infusion of lobelia. use mild laxatives to keep the bowels open. diseases of the ovaries. dropsy of the ovaries. _treatment_: an accumulation of fluid in the membranous sack about the ovaries. an operation is necessary and is almost always successful. inflammation of the ovaries. _treatment_: in mild cases rub abdomen with liniment and apply hot water bottles. perfect quiet is essential to an early recovery. tumors of the ovaries. _treatment_: a surgical operation is the only means of cure. * * * * * remedies for diseases of women. after pains: salophen in fifteen grain doses. if necessary take another dose in two hours. should the pains reappear the next day, repeat the dosage. amenorrhea: tincture chloride of iron, three drams; tincture cantharides, one dram; tincture guaiac ammon., one-half dram; tincture aloe, one-half ounce; syrup enough to make six ounces. dose: tablespoonful after meals. cancer of the womb: make a solution and use in douches: picric acid, two one-half dram; water one and one-half pint; the patient must lie flat on back while fluid runs up into the vagina, hips must be raised; retain the fluid as long as possible. later on make a cotton tampon, saturated with chloral hydrate, one-half dram; cocaine hydrochloride, one and one-half grain; dissolve in five drams of water. use injection and tampon morning and night. dysmenorrhea: asafoetida, forty grains; ext. valerian, twenty grains; ext. cannabis indica, five grains; make twenty pills. dose: one pill after meals. use the following ointment for the pain in the back: ext. hyoscyamus, thirty grains; ext. belladonna, thirty grains; adipis, one ounce. apply locally night and morning. emmenagogue: ergotin, twenty grains; ext. cotton root bark, twenty grains; purified aloes, twenty grains; dried ferrous sulphate, twenty grains; ext. savine, ten grains. make twenty pills. dose: one pill four times a day. endometritis: ext. viburnum prun, forty grains; ext. hamamelis, twenty grains; ergotin, ten grains; ext. nux vomica, two grains; hydrastin, one grain. make twenty pills. dose: one pill morning and night. fibroid tumors: chromium sulphate, four-grain tablets. dose: one tablet after meals. fissure of nipples: apply iodoform, one dram; carbolic acid, twenty grains; white petrolatum, one ounce. apply at night; requires thorough washing next morning. helonias composition: helonias, fifteen grains; squaw wine, sixty grains; viburnum opulus, fifteen grains; caulophyllum, fifteen grains; syrup, two ounces. dose: teaspoonful every two hours. leucorrhoea: ext. hyoscyamus, one dram; ext. hamamelis, one dram; tannic acid, one dram; ext. helonias, one-half dram; salicylic acid, one dram; alum, three drams; boric acid, five drams. dissolve flat teaspoonful in half cup of water, soak a cotton tampon and place way up in the vagina. as a tonic take: tincture cinchona comp., two ounces; tincture gentian comp., two ounces. dose: dessertspoonful after meals. menopause: ammonium bromide, two drams; potassium bromide, four drams; aromatii spirits amoniae, six drams; camphor water enough to make six ounces. dose: one dessertspoonful, three times a day. menorrhagia: gallic acid, fifty grains; ergotin, twenty grains; hydrastin, ten grains. make twenty pills. dose: one pill after meals. another prescription: calcium chloride, two and one-half drams; syrup, fifteen drams; water, six ounces. dose: one tablespoonful morning and night. menstrual irregularities: extracts of cramp bark, forty grains; blue cohosh, ten grains; squaw wine, forty grains; pokeberry, twenty grains; strychnine, one grain. make forty pills. dose: one pill four times a day until relieved. menstruation, profuse: extracts of white ash bark, two drams; black haw, two drams; cramp bark, two drams; unicorn root, one dram; squaw wine, one dram; blue cohosh, one dram. steep hours in one-half pint of water, add one-half pint of alcohol. dose: tablespoonful three times a day. neuralgia of womb: fl. ext. henbane, two drams; fl. ext. indian hemp, one dram; fl. ext. snake root, four drams; spirits of camphor, two drams; compound spirits of ether, three ounces. dose: one teaspoonful in water three times a day. medicated hot sitz bath. ovarian congestion: black haw, sixty grains; golden seal, sixty grains; jamaica dogwood, thirty grains; syrup and water, four ounces. dose: one teaspoonful three or four times a day. ovarian sedative: lupulin, ten grains; ergotin, five grains; scutellarin, ten grains; zinc bromide, two grains. make twenty pills. dose: one pill after meals. vaginismus: strontium bromide, two drams; potassium bromide, two drams; ammonium bromide, two drams; water to make ten ounces. dose: tablespoonful morning and night. make a suppository and insert night: cocaine hydrochlorate, two grains; ext. belladonna, one and one-half grains; strontium bromide, four grains; oil theobromat, two drams. use every night one such suppository, placed high up in the vagina until all signs of the difficulty are gone. vaginitis: resorcine, forty grains; salicylic acid, eight grains; betanaphtholis, one grain; add enough water to make it eight ounces. dose: add to this mixture one tablespoonful to a quart of warm water and douche vagina in above stated manner. use also suppository as in vaginismus. vulva itching: apply externally morning and night the following salve: boric acid, thirty grains; oxide of zinc, sixty grains. powdered starch, sixty grains; petrolatum, one ounce. apply on cotton and to affected parts. ulcerations of vagina or womb: insert a suppository each one made of boric acid, five grains; powdered alum, five grains. or the following composition; black haw, two grains; golden seal, two grains; add enough cocoa butter to make one suppository. insert and keep in over night after a hot medicated vaginal douche is taken. uterine astringent: alum, three drams; zinc sulphate, two drams; morphine sulphate, one grain; tannic acid, two drams; boric acid, six drams. mix and use of it one tablespoonful dissolved in pint of warm water. inject slowly into vagina in recumbent position, retain the douche fluid as long as possible. later on insert when retiring a vaginal suppository. uterine hemorrhages: take stypticin tablets according to printed direction on the package. uterine tonic: helonin, three grains; caulophyllin, three grains; macrotin, three grains; hyoscyamine, three grains. make twenty pills. dose: one pill after meals. uterine tonic and stimulant: take elixir of helonias, which can be bought in drug stores, or get the following tinctures and make it at home: partridge berry, ninety-six grains; unicorn root, forty-eight grains; blue cohosh, forty-eight grains; cramp bark, forty-eight grains. steep these for hours in one-half pint of water, add one-half pint of alcohol, then strain and bottle. dose: one teaspoonful three times a day. whites: dried alum, one-half ounce; borax, two ounces; boric acid, four ounces; thymol, ten grains; eucalyptol, ten grains; oil of peppermint, two drams. dissolve, one teaspoonful of the mixture in a pint of hot water and use as a douche morning and night. womb spasms: cramp bark, one ounce; skullcap, one ounce; skunk cabbage, four drams. steep hours in one-half pint of water, add one-half pint of alcohol. dose: one tablespoonful three times a day. * * * * * [transcriber's note: the following "alphabetical index" is as it appears in the original book. it is not in alphabetical order.] alphabetical index. a abstention, abstinence, abuse after marriage, abortion or miscarriage, abortion, causes and symptoms, abortion, home treatment, abortion, prevention of, abortion, the sin of herod, abortion, the violation of all law, absence of physician, abraham a polygamist, a broken heart, aboriginal, australian, admired and beloved, advantages of wedlock, advice to newly married couples, advice to married and unmarried, advice to bridegroom, advice to young mothers, advice to young married people, advice to young men, adultery in the heart, after birth, affectionate parents, amenorrhoea, amativeness or connubial love, animal passions, animal impulse, apoplexy, artificial impregnation, arms, beautiful, assassin of garfield, asking an honest question, associates, influence of, authority of the wife, b bad company, the result of, bad society, bad dressing, bad books, bad breath, bathing, rules for, - bath, the, barber's shampoos, bad breast, bastards or illegitimates, beginning of life, begin at right place, begin well, beauty and style, beauty a dangerous gift, beautiful women, beware of, beauty in dress, beauty, - beauty which perishes not, beauty, sensible hints to, beautiful arms, "be ye fruitful and multiply", beautiful children, how to have, birth, conditions of, biliousness, , , bites and stings of insects, bloom and grace of youth, black-heads, and flesh worms, blue feelings, bleeding, both puzzled, bodily symmetry, , boils, breath, the, broad hips, breach of confidence, bride, the, "bridal tour", breasts, swelled and sore, burns, , , busts, full, bunions, bubo treatment, c care of the person, care of the hair, cause of family troubles, calamities of lust, - causes of sterility, causes of divorce, - care of new-born infant, cataracts of the eyes, causes of prostitution, celibacy, disadvantages of, chinese marriage system, children, healthy and beautiful, - children, idiots, criminals and lunatics, children's condition depends on parents, children, all, may die, children, too many, children, foolish dread of, character lost, character, formation of, character, essence, character exhibits itself, character, beauty of, child, an honored, character, school of, child, the, is father of the man, character, female, influence of, children, fond of, character, influence of good, character is property, child bearing without pain, , chickenpox, , chapped hands, , chilblains, child training, chastity and purity, character, how to read, civilization, circumcision, cigarette smoking, effects of, , clap--gonorrhoea, clap--gonorrhoea treatment, corsets, - corset, egyptian, coloring for eyelashes and eyebrows, confidence, connubial love, concubinage and polygamy, courtship and marriage, court scientifically, consummation of marriage, conception, conception, its limitations, conceptions and accidents of lust, courtship and marriage, control, self, coarseness, correspondence, conversation, conception or impregnation, conception, the proper time for, colic, , , convulsions, infantile, constipation, to prevent, , coughs, colds, etc., cold water for diseases, cook for the sick, how to, cramps, , croup, how to treat, crimping hair, criminals and heredity, crowning sin of the age, cuts, , cultivate modesty, cultivate personal attractiveness, cultivate physical attractiveness, curse of manhood, the, d day dreaming, dangerous diseases, danger in lack of knowledge, deformities, development of the individual, desertion and divorce, desire, stimulated by drugs, desire moderated by drugs, deformities, desire, want of, deafness, how to cure, devil's decoys, the, disadvantages of celibacy, diseased, parents, disrupted love, divorces, distress during consummation, diseases, heredity and transmission of, diseases of pregnancy, diseases of infants and children, diarrhoea, , diphtheria, diseases of women and treatment, , - disinfectant, digestibility of food, dietetic recipes, diseases of women, dictionary of medical terms, drink, dress, dress affects our manners, drugs which stimulate desire, drugs which moderate desire, drug habit, the, dude of the th century, duration of pregnancy, dyspepsia cure, e early marriages, , education of child in the womb, effects of cigarette smoking, - egyptian dancer, an, eruptions on the skin, etiquette, rules on, etiquette of calls, etiquette in your speech, etiquette of dress and habits, etiquette on the street, etiquette between sexes, eugenic baby party, eunuchs, evidence of conception, expectant mother, the, exciting the passions in children, exposed youth, excesses by married men, eye wash, f fame, family group, blessing the, family government, false beautifiers, false appearance, family troubles, cause of, families, small, fallopian tubes, fake medical advice, , fainting, falling of the womb, fast young men, female character, influence of, female beauty, feet, small, female organs, conditions of, female magnetism, female sexual organs, feeding infants, fevers, feet with bad odor, felon, , female organs of creative life, first love, first conjugal approach, flirting, , flirting and its dangers, form, male and female, former customs, fondling and caressing, folly of follies, foetal heart, follies of youth, free lovers, frequency of intercourse, full busts, g garden of eden, gathered breast, generosity, generative organs, male, generative organs, female, girls, save the, gland, the penal, gland, the prostate, gladstone, gleet, symptoms and treatment of, good character, gout, gonorrhoea (clap), gonorrhoea (clap), remedy for, grace, gray hair, grave-yard statistics, grossness of sensuality, h hawaiian islands and marriage, harlot's woes, a, habits, hair and beard, hand in hand, hair, the care of, - hate-spats, hap-hazard marriages, hair, how to remove, harlot's mess of meat, the, harlot's influence, health a duty, helps to beauty, heart, a broken, healthy wives and mothers, hereditary descent, healthy people--most children, heartburn, , headache, , , , health rules for babies, history of marriage, hints on courtship and marriage, - hints in choosing a partner, hives, , home ties, , home, the best regulated, honesty or knavery, home power, home makes the man, home the best of schools, homely men, honeymoon, how to perpetuate, home treatment, diseases of children, home treatment of the secret habit, how to write letters, - how to write love letters, how to write social letters, how to determine perfect human figure, how to be a good wife, how to be a good husband, how to calculate time of labor, how to keep a baby well, - how to cook for the sick, how many girls are ruined, how to overcome "secret habit", how to tell a victim of the "secret habit", how to tell children the story of life, - , - hot water for all diseases, husband, whom to choose for a, husband's brutality, hymen or vaginal valve, , , hysteria, i ignorance, illicit pleasures, illegitimates or bastards, illegitimates, character of, impulse, impolite, improper liberties, improvement of the race, impotence and sterility impotence, lack of sexual vigor, improper liberties during courtship, impregnation or conception, , impregnation artificial, immorality, disease and death, independence, the growth of, influences, integrity, influence, the mother's, influence of women, intelligence, - intercourse, proper, indulgence, the time for, intercourse, frequency of, intercourse during pregnancy, , infanticide, infantile convulsions, indigestion, infant teething, inflammation of womb, inhumanities of parents, itching of external parts, j jealousy, jealousy--its cause and cure, juke family, the, k kalmuck tartar and marriage, keep the boys pure, kindness, kissing, knowledge is safety, l ladies' society, lady's dress in days of greece, lacing, large men, lack of knowledge, letter writing, - letters, social, leucorrhoea, , lessons for parents, life methods, licentiousness, beginning of, limitation of offspring, liver-spots, love letters, love, - love, power and peculiarities of, love, turkish way of making, love and common sense, love-spats, love for the dead, loss of desire, longevity, loss of maiden purity, low fiction, lost manhood restored, lung trouble, lustful eyes, m marriage excesses, matrimonial infelicity, male sexual organs, maternity a diadem of beauty, marks and deformities, maternity, preparation for, marrying too early, marry, time to, man unsexed, marriage bed resolutions, man's lost powers, man, the ideal, masculine attention, maternal love, manners, table, male form, marriage, history of, marriage, marriages, too early, - maids, old, - marry, when and whom to, marrying first cousins, marriage, hints on, marriages, unhappy, matrimonial pointers, marriage securities, marrying for wealth, marriage, time for, marriage and motherhood, marriage, consummation of, manhood wrecked and rescued, magnetism, - men haters, membership in society, mental derangements, menstruation during pregnancy, menstruation during nursing, measles, , , menstruation, , men demand purity, miscarriage, , , miscarriage, causes and symptoms, miscarriage home treatment, miscarriage prevention, middle age, mistakes often fatal, mistakes of parents, moderation, morning sickness and remedy, , modified milk, moral degeneracy, moral manhood, moral lepers, moral principle, mother's influence, mother, a devoted, mohammedanism, mormonism, monogamy (single wife), motherhood, morganic marriages, murder of the innocents, mumps, , n name, a good, name, an empty or an evil, nature's remedy, natural waist, newly married couples, advice to, neuralgia, , need of early instruction, non-completed intercourse, nocturnal emissions and home treatment, nurseries, nuptial chamber, - nursing, nursing sick children, nude in art, the, o obscene literature, offspring, the improvement of, old maids, - ornaments, our secret sins, ovaries, - over-indulgence, over-worked mothers, p parents must obey, parents, feeble and diseased, palpitation of the heart, pains and ills in nursing, parents must teach children, passions in children, passionate men, parents, diseased, parents' participation, penal gland, personal purity, , penmanship, personality of others, person, care of the, perfect human figure, penalties for lost virtue, physical and moral degeneracy, physical deformities, physical perfection, physical relations of marriage, phimosis, symptoms and treatment, piles, , pimples or facial eruptions, plea for purity, a, plain words to parents, pleasures, illicit, population limited, poison ivy, poison sumach, policy of silence in sex matters, pollution, sinks of, pollution, sow, politeness, polygamy, - popping the question, poisonous literature, pox-syphilis, pox-symptoms and treatment, prevention of conception, , , - prevention, nature's method, prenatal influences, prostate gland, producing boys or girls at will, preparation for maternity, pregnancy signs and symptoms, pregnancy, diseases of, pregnancy, duration of, prescription for diseases, prickly heat, cure for, principle moral, prisons, practical rules on table manners, prostitution, , proposing, a romantic way, proper intercourse, pregnancy, restraint during, preparation for parenthood, prostitution of men, private talk to young men, puberty, virility and hygienic laws, purity, puberty, puritanic manhood, pure minded wife, q quacks and methods exposed, , , quickening, quinsy, r reputation, value of, reputation, selling out their, religion in women, restraint during pregnancy, revelation for women, remedies for sterility, remedies for diseases, recruiting office for prostitution, remedy for "secret habit", rebuking sensualism, remedies for the social evil, remedies for diseases of women, - rival the boys, ring worm, rights of lovers, right of children to be born right, roman ladies, road to shame, the, rules on etiquette, - rules on table manners, ruin and seduction, rules for the nurse, ruined sister, a, s save the girls, save the boys, scientific theories of life, scarlet fever, , , schedule for feeding babies, sexual passions, sexual exhaustion, secret diseases, seeing life, sexual impotency, the remedy, secret diseases, seed of life, sexual organs, male, sexual organs, female, seducer, the, self abuse or "secret habit", sex instruction for children, , , sexual propensities, self-control, self-denial, practice, selfishness, self-forgetfulness, sensible helps to beauty, - sexual excitement, sexual vigor, seduction and ruin, seducer, a, sensuality and unnatural passion, - sexual life, rightly beginning, sexual proprieties and improprieties, separate beds, sexual control, - shall sickly people raise children, shall pregnant women work, shy people, signs and symptoms of labor, signs of virility, signs of excesses, sisterhood of shame, the, , slaves of injurious drugs, sleeplessness, small families, small and weakly men, sore nipples, society evils, society, govern, social letters, social duties, society, membership in, soiled garments, soft men, solomon and polygamy, society rules and customs, sowing wild oats, social evil, speech, improved by reading, special safeguards in confinement, sprains, startling sins, sterility in females, sterility, sterility, remedies for, sterility common to women, stomachache, stabs, story of life for children, stranger, silken enticements of, style of beauty, summer complaint, success or failure, swollen legs during pregnancy, symptoms of the "secret habit", syphilitic poison, syphilis (pox), , syphilis (pox) treatment of, syphilis, recipe for, syringes, whirling spray, t table manners, tables for feeding a baby, teeth, test of virginity, , teething, , teach sex truths to children, , temples of lust, thinking only of dress, throat troubles, tight lacing, time to marry, too many children, toothache, true kind of beauty, twins, twilight sleep, u unwelcome child, union of the sexes, the, unchastity, unfaithfulness, unjust demands, underclothing, uniformed men, unhappy marriages, urethra, urethra, stricture of--symptoms and treatment, v vaginal cleanliness, vice or virtue, virtues, root of all the, virtue, a new, virginity, test of, , vile women, vomiting, vulgar desire, vulgar, society of the, w warning, waist, natural, wasp waists, warts, cure for, wealth, wedlock, advantages of, wedding rings, wedding, the proper time, weaning, wens, what women love in men, what men love in women, when and whom to marry, why children die, when conception takes place, whites, the, what a mother should know, whooping cough, , why girls go astray, what is puberty, when passion begins, wife, how to be a good, words, power of, woman, the best educator, women, young, women, influence of, woman haters, woman the perfect type of beauty, woman's love, women who makes best wives, worms and remedy, womb, inflammation of, womb falling of, y young mothers, advice to, young man's personal appearance, youth, bloom and grace of, youthful sexual excitement, [transcriber's note: most probable typos in the original paper book have been retained as printed, e.g. saguine, excercise, diagnotic, attacts. however, two occurrences of "prostrate" have been changed to "prostate" when referring to the prostate gland.] sex-love, and its place in a free society: (second edition) by edward carpenter. price fourpence. manchester: the labour press society limited, printers and publishers . sex-love the subject of sex is most difficult to deal with, not only on account of a certain prudery as well as a natural reticence on the subject, but doubtless also because the passion itself being so tremendously strong and occupying such a large part of human thought--and words being so scanty and inadequate on the subject--everything that _is_ said is liable to be misunderstood; the most violent inferences are made, and equivocations surmised, from the simplest remarks; qualified admissions of liberty are interpreted into recommendations of unbridled licence; and generally the perspective of literary expression is turned upside down by the effect of the unfamiliarity of the topic on the reader's mind. there is indeed a vast deal of fetishism in the current treatment of sex; and the subject is dealt with as though it lay quite out of line with any other need or faculty of human nature. nor can one altogether be surprised at this when one perceives of what vast import sex is in the scheme of things, and how deeply it it has been associated since the earliest times not only with man's personal impulses but even with his religious sentiments and ceremonials. next to hunger this is doubtless the most primitive and imperative of our needs. but in modern civilised life sex enters probably even more into _consciousness_ than hunger. for the hunger-needs of the human race are in the later societies fairly well satisfied, but the sex-desires are strongly restrained, both by law and custom, from satisfaction--and so assert themselves all the more in thought. to find the place of these desires, their utterance, their control, their personal import, their social import, is a tremendous problem to every youth and girl, man and woman. there are a few of both sexes, doubtless, who hardly feel the passion--who have never been "in love," and who experience no strong sexual appetite--but these are rare. practically the passion is a matter of universal experience; and speaking broadly and generally we may say it is a matter on which it is quite desirable that every adult at some time or other _should_ have experience--actual and physical, as well as emotional. there may be exceptions; but, as said, the sex-instinct lies so deep and is so universal, that for the understanding of life--of one's own life, of that of others, and of human nature in general--as well as for the proper development of one's own capacities, such experience is almost indispensable. and here in passing i would say that in the social life of the future this need will surely be recognised, and not only will young people be deliberately prepared and instructed for the fulfilment of sex when their time comes, but (while there will be no stigma attaching to voluntary celibacy) the state of enforced celibacy in which vast numbers of women live to-day will be looked upon as a national wrong, almost as grievous as that of prostitution--of which latter evil indeed it is in some degree the counterpart or necessary accompaniment. of course nature (personifying under this term the more unconscious, even though human, instincts and forces) takes pretty good care in her own way that most people should have sexual experience. she has her own purposes to work out, which in a sense have nothing to do with the individual--her racial purposes. but she acts in the rough, with tremendous sweep and power, and with little adjustment to or consideration for the later developed and more conscious and intelligent ideals of humanity. the youth, deeply infected with the sex-passion, suddenly finds himself in the presence of titanic forces--the titanic but sub-conscious forces of his own nature. "in love" he feels a superhuman strength--and rightly so, for he identifies himself with cosmic energies and entities, powers that are preparing the future of the race, and whose operations extend over vast regions of space and millennial lapses of time. he sees into the abysmal deeps of his own being, and trembles with a kind of awe at the disclosure. and what he feels concerning himself he feels similarly concerning the one who has inspired his passion. the glances of the two lovers penetrate far beyond the surface, ages down into each other, waking a myriad antenatal dreams. for the moment he lets himself go, rejoicing in the sense of limitless power beneath him--borne onwards like a man down rapids, too intoxicated with the glory of motion to think of whither he is going; then the next moment he discovers that he is being hurried into impossible situations--situations which his own moral conscience, as well as the moral conscience of society, embodied in law and custom, will not admit. he finds perhaps that the satisfaction of his imperious impulse is, to all appearances, inconsistent with the welfare of her he loves. his own passion arises before him as a kind of rude giant which he or the race to which he belongs may, frankenstein-like, have created ages back, but which he now has to dominate or be dominated by; and there declares itself in him the fiercest conflict--that between his far-back titanic instinctive and sub-conscious nature, and his later developed, more especially human and moral self. while the glory of sex pervades and suffuses all nature; while the flowers are rayed and starred out towards the sun in the very ecstasy of generation; while the nostrils of the animals dilate, and their forms become instinct, under the passion, with a proud and fiery beauty; while even the human lover is transformed, and in the great splendors of the mountains and the sky perceives something to which he had not the key before--yet it is curious that just here, in man, we find the magic wand of nature suddenly broken, and doubt and conflict and division entering in, where a kind of unconscious harmony had first prevailed. heine i think says somewhere that the man who loves unsuccessfully knows himself to be a god. it is not perhaps till the great current of sexual love is checked and brought into conflict with the other parts of his being that the whole nature of the man, sexual and moral, under the tremendous stress rises into consciousness and reveals in fire its god-like quality. this is the work of the artificer who makes immortal souls--who out of the natural love evolves even a more perfect love. "in tutti gli amanti," says giordano bruno, "é questo fabro vulcano" ("in all lovers is this olympian blacksmith present"). it is the subject of this conflict, or at least differentiation, between the sexual and the more purely moral and social instincts in man which interests us here. it is clear, i think, that if sex is to be treated rationally, that is, neither superstitiously on the one hand nor licentiously on the other, we must be willing to admit that both the satisfaction of the passion and the non-satisfaction of it are desirable and beautiful. they both have their results, and man has to reap the fruits which belong to both experiences. may we not say that there is probably some sort of transmutation of essences continually effected and effectible in the human frame? lust and love--the _aphrodite pandemos_ and the _aphrodite ouranios_--are subtly interchangeable. perhaps the corporeal amatory instinct and the ethereal human yearning for personal union are really and in essence one thing, with diverse forms of manifestation. however that may be, it is pretty evident that there is some deep relationship between them. it is a matter of common experience that the unrestrained outlet of merely physical desire leaves the nature drained of its higher love-forces; while on the other hand if the physical satisfaction be denied the body becomes surcharged with waves of emotion--sometimes to an unhealthy and dangerous degree. yet at times this emotional love may, by reason of its expression being checked or restricted, transform itself into the all-penetrating subtle influence of spiritual love. marcus aurelius quotes a saying of heraclitus to the effect that the death of earth is to become water (liquefaction), and the death of water is to become air (evaporation), and the death of air is to become fire (combustion). so in the human body are there sensual, emotional, spiritual, and other elements of which it may be said that their death on one plane means their transformation and new birth on other planes. it will readily be seen that i am not arguing that the lower or more physical manifestations of love should be killed out in order to force the growth of the more spiritual and enduring forms--because nature in her slow evolutions does not generally countenance such high and mighty methods; but am merely trying to indicate that there are grounds for believing in the transmutability of the various forms of the passion, and grounds for thinking that the sacrifice of a lower phase may sometimes be the only condition on which a higher and more durable phase can be attained; and that therefore restraint (which is absolutely necessary at times) _has_ its compensation. any one who has once realised how glorious a thing love is in its essence, and how indestructible, will hardly need to call anything that leads to it a sacrifice; and he is indeed a master of life who accepting the grosser desires as they come to his body, and not refusing them, knows how to transform them at will into the most rare and fragrant flowers of human emotion. until these subjects are openly put before children and young people with some degree of intelligent and sympathetic handling, it can scarcely be expected that anything but the utmost confusion, in mind and in morals, should reign in matters of sex. that we should leave our children to pick up their information about the most sacred, the most profound and vital, of all human functions, from the mere gutter, and learn to know it first from the lips of ignorance and vice, seems almost incredible, and certainly indicates the deeply-rooted unbelief and uncleanness of our own thoughts. yet a child at the age of puberty, with the unfolding of its far-down emotional and sexual nature, is eminently capable of the most sensitive, affectional, and serene appreciation of what sex means (generally more so, as things are to-day, than its worldling parent or guardian); and can absorb the teaching, if sympathetically given, without any shock or disturbance to its sense of shame--that sense which is so natural and valuable a safeguard of early youth. to teach the child first, quite openly, its physical relation to its own mother, its long indwelling in her body, and the deep and sacred bond of tenderness between mother and child in consequence; then, after a time, to explain the work of fatherhood, and how the love of the parents for each other was the cause of its own (the child's) existence: these things are easy and natural--at least they are so to the young mind--and excite in it no surprise, or sense of unfitness, but only gratitude and a kind of tender wonderment.* then, later on, as the special sexual needs and desires develop, to instruct the girl or boy in the further details of the matter, and the care and right conduct of her or his own sexual nature; on the meaning and the dangers of solitary indulgence--if this habit has been contracted; on the need of self-control and the presence of affection in all relations with others, and (without asceticism) on the possibility of deflecting physical desire to some degree into affectional and emotional channels, and the great gain so resulting: all these are things which an ordinary youth of either sex will easily understand and appreciate, and which may be of priceless value, saving such an one from years of struggle in foul morasses, and waste of precious life-strength. finally, with the maturity of the moral nature, the supremacy of the pure human relation should be taught--not the extinguishment of desire, but the attainment of the real kernel of it, its dedication to the well-being of another--the evolution of the _human_ element in love, balancing the natural--till at last the snatching of an unglad pleasure, regardless of the other from whom it is snatched, or the surrender of one's body to another, for any reason except that of love, become things impossible. *see appendix. between lovers then a kind of hardy temperance is much to be recommended--for all reasons, but especially because it lifts their satisfaction and delight in each other out of the region of ephemeralities (which too soon turn to dull indifference and satiety) into the region of more lasting things--one step nearer at any rate to the eternal kingdom. how intoxicating indeed, how penetrating--like a most precious wine--is that love which is the sexual transformed by the magic of the will into the emotional and spiritual! and what a loss on the merest grounds of prudence and the economy of pleasure is its unbridled waste along physical channels! so nothing is so much to be dreaded between lovers as just this--the vulgarisation of love--and this is the rock upon which marriage so often splits. there is a kind of illusion about physical desire similar to that which a child suffers from when, seeing a beautiful flower, it instantly snatches the same, and destroys in a few moments the form and fragrance which attracted it. he only gets the full glory who holds himself back a little, and truly possesses who is willing if need be not to possess. on the other hand it must not be pretended that the physical passions are by their nature abhorrent, or anything but admirable and desirable in their place. any attempt to absolutely disown or despite them, carried out over long periods either by individuals or bodies of people, only ends in the _thinning out_ of the human nature--by the very consequent stinting of the supply of its growth-material, and is liable to stultify itself in time by leading to reactionary excesses. it must never be forgotten that the physical basis throughout life is of the first importance, and supplies the nutrition and food-stuff without which the higher powers cannot exist or at least manifest themselves. intimacies founded on intellectual and moral affinities alone are seldom very deep and lasting; if the physical or sexual basis is quite absent, the acquaintanceship is liable to die away again like an ill-rooted plant. in many cases (especially of women) the nature is never really understood or disclosed till the sex-feeling is touched--however lightly. besides it must be remembered that in order for a perfect intimacy between two people their bodies must by the nature of the case be free to each other. the sexual and bodily intimacy may not be the object for which they come together; but if it is denied, its denial will bar any real sense of repose and affiance, and make the relation restless, vague, tentative and unsatisfied. in these lights it will be seen that what we call asceticism and what we call libertinism are two sides practically of the same shield. so long as the tendency towards mere pleasure-indulgence is strong and uncontrolled, so long will the instinct towards asceticism assert itself--and rightly, else we might speedily find ourselves in headlong phaethonian career. asceticism is in its place (as the word would indicate) as an _exercise_; but let it not be looked upon as an end in itself, for that is a mistake of the same kind as going to the opposite extreme. certainly if the welfare and happiness of the beloved one were always really the main purpose in our minds we should have plenty of occasion for self-control, and an artificial asceticism would not be needed. we look for a time doubtless when the hostility between these two parts of man's unperfected nature will be merged in the perfect love; but at present and until this happens their conflict is certainly one of the most pregnant things in all our experience; and must not by any means be blinked or evaded, but boldly faced. it is in itself almost a sexual act. the mortal nature through it is, so to speak, torn asunder; and through the rent so made in his mortality does it sometimes happen that a new and immortal man is born. the sex-act affords the type of all pleasures. the dissatisfaction which at times follows on it is the same as follows on all pleasure which is _sought_, and which does not come unsought. the dissatisfaction is not in the nature of pleasure itself but in the nature of _seeking_. in consciously surrendering oneself to the pursuit of things external, the "i" (since it really has everything and needs nothing) deceives itself, goes out from its true home, tears itself asunder, and admits a gap or rent in its own being. this is what is meant by _sin_--the separation or sundering (german _sünde_) of one's being--and all the pain that goes therewith. it all consists in _seeking_ those external things and pleasures; not (a thousand times be it said) in those external things or pleasures themselves. they are all fair and gracious enough; their place is to stand round the throne and offer their homage--rank behind rank in their multitudes--if so be we will accept it. but for us to go out of ourselves to run after _them_, to allow ourselves to be divided and rent in twain by _their_ attraction, that is an inversion of the order of heaven; and in so doing does sin and all suffering enter in. of all pleasures the sexual tempts most strongly to this desertion of one's true self, and stands as the type of maya and the world-illusion; yet the beauty of the loved one and the delight of corporeal union all turn to dust and ashes if bought at the price of disunion and disloyalty in the higher spheres--disloyalty even to the person whose mortal love is sought. the higher and more durable part of man, whirled along in the rapids and whirlpools of desire, experiences tortures the moment it comes to recognise that it is something other than physical. then comes the struggle to regain its lost paradise, and the frightful effort of co-ordination between the two natures, by which the centre of consciousness is gradually transferred from the fugitive to the more permanent part, and the mortal and changeable is assigned its due place in the outer chambers and forecourts of the temple. pleasure should come as the natural (and indeed inevitable) accompaniment of life, believed in with a kind of free faith, but never sought as the object of life. it is in the inversion of this order that the uncleanness of the senses arises. sex to-day throughout the domains of civilisation is thoroughly unclean. everywhere it is slimed over with the thought of pleasure. not for joy, not for mere delight in and excess of life, not for pride in the generation of children, not for a symbol and expression of deepest soul-union, does it exist--but for pleasure. hence we disown it in our thoughts, and cover it up with false shame and unbelief--knowing well that to seek a social act for a private pleasure is a falsehood. the body itself is kept religiously covered, smothered away from the rush of the great purifying life of nature, infected with dirt and disease, and a subject for prurient thought and exaggerated lust such as in its naked state it would never provoke. the skin becomes sickly and corrupt, and of a dead leaden white hue, which strangely enough is supposed to be more beautiful than the rich rose-brown, delicately shaded into lighter tints in the less exposed parts, which it would wear if tanned by daily welcome of sun and wind. sexual embraces themselves are seldom sanctified by the glories of nature, in whose presence alone, under the burning sun or the high canopy of the stars and surrounded by the fragrant atmosphere, their meaning can be fully understood: but take place in stuffy dens of dirty upholstery and are associated with all unbeautiful things. even literature, which might have been expected to preserve some decent expression on this topic, reflects all too clearly by its silence or by its pruriency the prevailing spirit of unbelief; and in order to find any sane faithful strong and calm words on the subject, one has to wade right back through the marshes and bogs of civilised scribbledom, and toil eastward across its arid wastes to the very dawn-hymns of the aryan races. in one of the upanishads of the vedic sacred books (the brihadaranyaka upanishad) there is a very beautiful passage in which instruction is given to the man who desires a noble son as to the prayers which he shall offer to the gods on the occasion of congress with his wife. in primitive simple and serene language it directs him how "when he has placed his virile member in the body of his wife and joined his mouth to her mouth" he should pray to the various forms of deity who preside over the operations of nature: to vishnu to prepare the womb of the future mother, to prajapati to watch over the influx of the semen, and to the other gods to nourish the foetus, etc. nothing could be (i am judging from the only translation i have met with, a latin one) more composed, serene, simple and religious in feeling, and well might it be if such instructions were preserved and followed, even down to the present day; yet such is the degradation we have come to that actually max müller in his translations of the sacred books of the east appears to have been unable to persuade himself to render this and a few other quite similar passages into english, but gives them in the original sanskrit! one might have thought that as professor in the university of oxford, presumedly _sans peur et sans reproche_, and professedly engaged in making a translation of these books for students, it was his duty and it might have been his delight to make intelligible just such passages as these, which give the pure and pious sentiment of the early world in so perfect a form; unless indeed he thought the sentiment impure and impious--in which case we have indeed a measure of the degradation of the public opinion which must have swayed his mind. as to the only german translation of the upanishad which i can find, it baulks at the same passages in the same feeble way--repeating _nicht zu wiedergeben, nicht zu wiedergeben_, over and over again, till at last one can but conclude that the translator is right, and that the simplicity and sacredness of the feeling is in this our time indeed "not to be reproduced." our public opinion, our literature, our customs, our laws, are saturated with the notion of the uncleanness of sex, and are so making the conditions of its cleanness more and more difficult. our children, as said, have to pick up their intelligence on the subject in the gutter. little boys bathing on the outskirts of our towns are hunted down by idiotic policemen, apparently infuriated by the sight of the naked body, even of childhood. lately in one of our northern towns, the boys and men bathing in a public pool set apart by the corporation for the purpose, were--though forced to wear some kind of covering--kept till nine o'clock at night before they were allowed to go into the water--lest in the full daylight mrs. grundy should behold any portion of their bodies! and as for women and girls their disabilities in the matter are most serious. till this dirty and dismal sentiment with regard to the human body is removed there can be little hope of anything like a free and gracious public life. with the regeneration of our social ideas the whole conception of sex as a thing covert and to be ashamed of, marketable and unclean, will have to be regenerated. that inestimable freedom and pride which is the basis of all true manhood and womanhood will have to enter into this most intimate relation to preserve it frank and pure--pure from the damnable commercialism which buys and sells all human things, and from the religious hypocrisy which covers and conceals; and a healthy delight in and cultivation of the body and all its natural functions and a determination to keep them pure and beautiful, open and sane and free, will have to become a recognised part of national life. possibly, and indeed probably, as the sentiment of common life and common interest grows, and the capacity for true companionship increases with the decrease of self-regarding anxiety, the importance of the mere sex-act will dwindle till it comes to be regarded as only one very specialised factor in the full total of human love. there is no doubt that with the full realisation of affectional union the need of actual bodily congress loses some of its urgency; and it is not difficult to see in our present-day social life that the want of the former is (according to the law of transmutation) one marked cause of the violence and extravagance of the lower passions. but however things may change with the further evolution of man, there is no doubt that first of all the sex-relation must be divested of the sentiment of uncleanness which surrounds it, and rehabilitated again with a sense almost of religious consecration; and this means, as i have said, a free people, proud in the mastery and the divinity of their own lives, and in the beauty and openness of their own bodies. sex is the allegory of love in the physical world. it is from this fact that it derives its immense power. the aim of love is non-differentiation--absolute union of being; but absolute union can only be found at the centre of existence. therefore whoever has truly found another has found not only that other, and with that other himself, but has found also a third--who dwells at the centre and holds the plastic material of the universe in the palm of his hand, and is a creator of sensible forms. similarly the aim of sex is union and non-differentiation--but on the physical plane,--and in the moment when this union is accomplished creation takes place, and the generation (in the plastic material of the sex-elements) of sensible forms. in the animal and lower human world--and wherever the creature is incapable of realising the perfect love (which is indeed able to transform it into a god)--nature in the purely physical instincts does the next best thing, that is, she effects a corporeal union and so generates another creature who by the very process of his generation shall be one step nearer to the universal soul and the realisation of the desired end. nevertheless the moment the other love and all that goes with it is realised the natural sexual love has to fall into a secondary place--the lover must stand on his feet and not on his head--or else the most dire confusions ensue, and torments _æonian_. taking all together i think it may fairly be said that the prime object of sex is _union_, the physical union as the allegory and expression of the real union, and that generation is a secondary object or result of this union. if we go to the lowest material expressions of sex--as among the protozoic cells--we find that they, the cells, unite together, two into one; and that, as a result of the nutrition that ensues, this joint cell after a time (but not always) breaks up by fission into a number of progeny cells; or if on the other hand we go to the very highest expression of sex, in the sentiment of love, we find the latter takes the form chiefly and before all else of a desire for union, and only in lesser degree of a desire for race-propagation. i mention this because it probably makes a good deal of difference in our estimate of sex whether the one function or the other is considered primary. there is perhaps a slight tendency among medical and other authorities to overlook the question of the important physical actions and reactions, and even corporeal modifications, which may ensue upon sexual intercourse between two people, and to fix their attention too exclusively upon their child-bearing function; but in truth it is probable, i think, from various considerations, that the spermatozoa pass through the tissues and affect the general body of the female, as well as that the male absorbs minutest cells _from_ the female; and that generally, even without the actual sex-act, there is an interchange of vital and etherial elements--so that there is a kind of generation taking place _in each other_, as well as that more specialised generation which consists in the propagation of the race. at the last and taking it as a whole one has the same difficulty in dealing with the subject of love which meets one at every turn in modern life--the monstrous separation of one part of our nature from another--the way in which--no doubt in the necessary course of evolution--we have cut ourselves in twain as it were, and assigned "right" and "wrong," heaven and hell, spiritual and material, and other violent distinctions, to the separate portions. we have eaten of the tree of knowledge of good and evil with a vengeance! the lord has indeed driven us out of paradise into the domain of that "fabro vulcano" who with tremendous hammer-strokes must _hammer the knowledge of good and evil out of us again_. i feel that i owe an apology to the beautiful god for daring even for a moment to think of dissecting him soul from body, and for speaking as if these artificial distinctions were in any wise eternal. will the man or woman, or race of men and women, never come, to whom love in its various manifestations shall be from the beginning a perfect whole, pure and natural, free and standing sanely on its feet? appendix. "i analysed a flower, i pointed out to her the beauty of colouring, the gracefulness of shape, the tender shades, the difference between the parts composing the flowers. gradually, i told her what these parts were called. i showed her the pollen, which clung like a beautiful golden powder to her little rosy fingers. i showed her through the microscope that this beautiful powder was composed of an infinite number of small grains. i made her examine the pistil more closely, and i showed her, at the end of the tube, the ovary, which i called a 'little house full of very tiny children.' i showed her the pollen glued to the pistil, and i told her, that when the pollen of one flower, carried away by the wind, or by the insects, fell on the pistil of another flower, the small grains died, and a tiny drop of moisture passed through the tube and entered into the little house where the very tiny children dwelt; that these tiny children were like small eggs, that in each small egg there was an almost invisible opening, through which a little of the small drop passed; that when this drop of pollen mixed with some other wonderful power in the ovary, that both joined together to give life, and the eggs developed and became grains or fruit. i have shown her flowers which had only a pistil and others which had only stamens. i said to her, smiling, that the pistils were like little mothers, and the stamens like little fathers of the fruit.... "thus i sowed in this innocent heart and searching mind the seeds of that delicate science, which degenerates into obscenity, if the mother, through false shame, leaves the instruction of her child to its schoolfellows. let my little girl ask me, if she likes, the much dreaded question; i will only have to remind her of the botany lessons, simply adding, the same thing happens to human beings, with this difference, that what is done unconsciously by the plants, is done consciously by us; that in a properly arranged society one only unites one's self to the person one loves.'"--(translated from "la revendication des droits féminins," _shafts_, april , p. .) generously made available by the internet archive/american libraries.) some phases of sexual morality and church discipline in colonial new england. by charles francis adams. [reprinted from the proceedings of the massachusetts historical society, june, .] cambridge: john wilson and son. university press. . some phases of sexual morality in colonial new england. in the year i prepared a somewhat detailed sketch of the history of the north precinct of the original town of braintree, subsequently incorporated as quincy, which was published and can now be found in the large volume entitled "history of norfolk county, massachusetts." in the preparation of that sketch i had at my command a quantity of material of more or less historical value,--including printed and manuscript records, letters, journals, traditions both oral and written, etc.,--bearing on social customs, and political and religious questions or conditions. the study of this material caused me to use in my sketch the following language:-- "that the earlier generations of massachusetts were either more law-abiding or more self-restrained than the later, is a proposition which accords neither with tradition nor with the reason of things. the habits of those days were simpler than those of the present; they were also essentially grosser. the community was small; and it hardly needs to be said that where the eyes of all are upon each, the general scrutiny is a safeguard to morals. it is in cities, not in villages, that laxity is to be looked for." but "now and again, especially in the relations between the sexes, we get glimpses of incidents in the dim past which are as dark as they are suggestive. some such are connected with quincy.... the illegitimate child was more commonly met with in the last than in the present century, and bastardy cases furnished a class of business with which country lawyers seem to have been as familiar then as they are with liquor cases now."[ ] being now engaged in the work of revising and rewriting the sketch in which this extract occurs, i have recently had occasion to examine again the material to which i have alluded; and i find that, though the topic to which it relates in part is one which cannot be fully and freely treated in a work intended for general reading, yet the material itself contains much of value and interest. neither is the topic i have referred to in itself one which can be ignored in an historical view, though, as i have reason to believe, there has been practised in new england an almost systematic suppression of evidence in regard to it; for not only are we disposed always to look upon the past as a somewhat arcadian period,--a period in which life and manners were simpler, better and more genuine than they now are,--not only, i say, are we disposed to look upon the past as a sort of golden era when compared with the present, but there is also a sense of filial piety connected with it. like shem and japhet, approaching it with averted eyes we are disposed to cover up with a garment the nakedness of the progenitors; and the severe looker after truth, who wants to have things appear exactly as they were, and does not believe in the suppression of evidence,--the investigator of this sort is apt to be looked upon as a personage of no discretion and doubtful utility,--as, in a word, a species of modern ham, who, having unfortunately seen what ought to have been covered up, is eager, out of mere levity or prurience, to tell his "brethren without" all about it. on this subject i concur entirely in the sentiments of our orator, colonel higginson, as expressed in his address at the society's recent centennial. the truth of history is a sacred thing,--a thing of far more importance than its dignity,--and the truth of history should not be sacrificed to sentiment, patriotism or filial piety. neither, in like manner, when it comes to scientific historical research, can propriety, whether of subject or, in the case of original material, of language, be regarded. to this last principle the published pages of winthrop and bradford bear evidence; and, in my judgment, the massachusetts historical society has, in a career now both long and creditable, done nothing more creditable to itself than in once for all, through the editorial action of mr. savage and mr. deane, settling this principle in the publications referred to. i am, of course, well aware that mr. savage did not edit winthrop's history for this society, but nevertheless he is so identified with the society that his work may fairly be considered part of its record. whether part of its record or not, mr. savage and mr. deane,--than whom no higher authorities are here recognized,--in the publications referred to, did settle the principle that mawkishness is just as much out of place in scientific historical research as prurience would be, or as sentiment, piety and patriotism are. these last-named attributes of our nature, indeed,--most noble, elevating and attractive in their proper spheres,--always have been, now are, and i think i may safely say will long continue to be, the bane of thorough historical research, and ubiquitous stumbling-blocks in the way of scientific results. but in the case of history, as with medicine and many other branches of science and learning, there are, as i have already said, many matters which cannot be treated freely in works intended for general circulation,--matters which none the less may be, and often are, important and deserving of thorough mention. certainly they should not be ignored or suppressed. and this is exactly one of the uses to which historical societies are best adapted. like medical and other similar associations, historical societies are scientific bodies in which all subjects relating to their department of learning both can and should be treated with freedom, so that reference may be made, in books intended for popular reading, to historical-society collections as pure scientific depositories. it is this course i propose to pursue in the present case; and such material at my disposal as i cannot well use freely in the work upon which i am now engaged, will be incorporated in the present paper, and made accessible in the printed proceedings of the society for such general reference as may be desirable. among the unpublished material to which i have referred are the records of the first church of quincy,--originally and for more than a century and a half ( - ) the braintree north precinct church. the volume of these records covering the earliest period of the history of the society cannot now be found. it was in the possession of the church in , for it was then used and referred to by the rev. john hancock, father of the patriot, and fifth pastor of the church, in the preparation of two centennial sermons preached by him at that time; but eighty-five years later, when, in , the parish was separated from the town, the earliest book of regular records then transferred from the town to the parish clerk went no farther back than jan. , . there is, however, another volume of records still in existence, apparently not kept by the regular precinct clerk, the entries in which, all relating to the period between and , seem to have been made by five successive pastors. small and bound in leather, the paper of which this volume is made up is of that rough, parchment character in such common use during the last century, and the entries in it, in five different handwritings, are in many cases scarcely legible, and frequently of the most confidential character. in the main they are records of births, baptisms, marriages and deaths; but some of them relate to matters of church discipline, and these throw a curious light on the social habits of a period now singularly remote. in view of what this volume contains, the loss of the previous volume containing the record of the church's spiritual life from the time it was organized to , a period of thirty-four years, becomes truly an _hiatus valde deflendus_.[ ] for a full understanding of the situation it is merely necessary further to say that, during the period to which all the entries in the volume from which i am about to quote relate, braintree was a massachusetts sea-board town of the ordinary character. it numbered a population ranging from some seven hundred souls in , to about twenty-five hundred a century later; the majority of whom during the first half of the eighteenth century lived in the north precinct of the original town, now quincy. the meeting-house, about which clustered the colonial village, stood on the old plymouth road, between the tenth and the eleventh mile-posts south of boston. the people were chiefly agriculturists, living on holdings somewhat widely scattered; the place had no especial trade or leading industry, and no commerce; so that, when describing the country a few years before, in ,--and since then the conditions had not greatly changed,--samuel maverick said of braintree,--"it subsists by raising provisions, and furnishing boston with wood."[ ] in reading the following extracts from the records, it is also necessary to bear in mind that during the eighteenth century the whole social and intellectual as well as religious life of the massachusetts towns not only centred about the church, but was concentrated in it. the church was practically a club as well as a religious organization. an inhabitant of the town excluded from it or under its ban became an outcast and a pariah. the following entry is in the handwriting of the rev. moses fiske, pastor of the church during thirty-six years, from to , and it bears date march , :-- "temperance, the daughter of brother f----, now the wife of john b----, having been guilty of the sin of fornication with him that is now her husband, was called forth in the open congregation, and presented a paper containing a full acknowledgment of her great sin and wickedness,--publickly bewayled her disobedience to parents, pride, unprofitableness under the means of grace, as the cause that might provoke god to punish her with sin, and warning all to take heed of such sins, begging the church's prayers, that god would humble her, and give a sound repentance, &c. which confession being read, after some debate, the brethren did generally if not unanimously judge that she ought to be admonished; and accordingly she was solemnly admonished of her great sin, which was spread before her in divers particulars, and charged to search her own heart wayes and to make thorough work in her repentance, &c. from which she was released by the church vote unanimously on april {th} ." the next entry of a case of church discipline is of a wholly different character. the individual subjected to it bore the same family name as the earliest minister of the town, the rev. william tompson, who was the first to subscribe the original covenant of sept. , , but was not descended from him. neither must this samuel tomson, or tompson, be confounded with deacon samuel tompson, who, born in , lived in braintree, and whose name is met with on nearly every page of the earlier records. the samuel tompson referred to in the following entry seems to have been the son of the deacon, and was born nov. , . his name frequently appears in the town records, and usually (pp. , , , ), as dissenting from some vote providing for the minister's salary or the maintenance of the town school. he was, though the son of a deacon, evidently a man otherwise-minded. this entry, like the previous one, is in the handwriting of mr. fiske. "samuel tomson, a prodigie of pride, malice and arrogance, being called before the church in the meeting-house , july, , for his absenting himselfe from the publike worshipe, unlesse when any strangers preached; his carriage being before the church proud and insolent, reviling and vilifying their pastor, at an horrible rate, and stileing him their priest, and them a nest of wasps; and they unanimously voated an admonition, which was accordingly solemnly and in the name of christ, applyed to him, wherein his sin and wickedness was laid open by divers scriptures for his conviction, and was warned to repent, and after prayer to god this poor man goes to the tavern to drink it down immediately, as he said, &c." then, under date of august , , a month later, mr. fiske proceeds:-- "he delivered to me an acknowledgment in a bit of paper at my house in the presence of leif't marsh and ensign penniman, who he brought. 'twas read before the church at a meeting appointed . . they being not willing to meet before. leif't col. quinsey gave his testimony against it, and said that his conversation did not agree therewith." the next entry, also in the same handwriting, is dated dec. , :-- "at the church meeting further testimony came in against him: the church generally by vote and voice declared him impenitent, and i was to proceed to an ejection of him, by a silent vote in public. but i deferred it, partly because of the severity of the winter, but chiefly for that his pretended offence was originally against myself, and [he] had said i would take all advantages against him, i deferred the same, and because or of the brethren did desire that he might be called before the church to see if he would own what they asserted: and having ________ the church, april, , he came, brought an additional acknowledgment. of about or voted to accept of it, &c." this occurred on the th of april, ; and on the th mr. fiske proceeds:-- "after the end of the public worship his confession was read publickly, and the major part of the church voted his absolution." the next case of discipline in order of the entries relates to an earlier period, . it records the excommunication of one joseph belcher. the proceedings took place at meetings held on the th of october and the th of november. "joseph belcher, a member of this church though not in full communion, being sent for by the church, after they had resolved to inquire into the matter of scandall, so notoriously infamous both in court and country, by deacon basse and samuel tompson, to give an account of these things; they returning with this answer from him, that he would consider of it and send the church word the next sabbath, whether he would come or no; on which return by a script, whereunto his name was subscribed, which he also owned to the elder, in private the weeke after, wherein he scornfully and impudently reflected upon the officer and church, and rudely refused to have anything to doe with us; so after considerable waiting, he persisting in his impenitence and obstinacy, (the elders met at boston unanimously advising thereto) the church voted his not hearing of them, some few brethren not acting, doubting of his membership but silent. he was proceeded against according to matthew , ,[ ] and rejected." the next entry also records a case of excommunication, under date of may , :-- "isaac theer, (the son of brother thomas theer) being a member of this church but not in full communion, having been convicted of notorious scandalous thefts multiplied, as stealing pewter from johanna livingstone, stealing from john penniman cheese, &c., and others, and stealing an horse at bridgewater, for which he suffered the law, after much laboring with him in private and especially by the officers of the church, to bring [him] to a thorough sight and free and ingenuous confession of his sin; as also for his abominably lying, changing his name, &c., was called forth in public, moved pathetically to acknowledge his sin and publish his repentance, who came down and stood against the lower end of the foreseat after he had been prevented (by our shutting the east door) from going out; stood impudently, and said indeed he owned his sin of stealing, was heartily sorry for it, begged pardon of god and men, and hoped he should do so no more, which was all he could be brought unto, saying his sin was already known, and that there was no need to mention it in particular, all with a remisse voice, so that but few could hear him. the church at length gave their judgment against him, that he was a notorious, scandalous sinner, and obstinately impenitent. and when i was proceeding to spread before him his sin and wickedness, he (as 'tis probable), guessing what was like to follow, turned about to goe out, and being desired and charged to tarry and hear what the church had to say to him, he flung out of doors, with an insolent manner, though silent. therefore the pastor applied himself to the congregation, and having spread before them his sin, partly to vindicate the church's proceeding against him, and partly to warn others; sentence was declared against him according to matthew , ." the next also is a case of excommunication. it appears from the records (p. ) that "upon the {th} day of august ther went out a fleet souldiers to canadee in the year , and the small pox was abord, and they died, sixe of it; four thrown overbord at cap an." among these four was ebenezer owen, who left a widow and a brother josiah; and it is to them that this entry relates:-- "josiah owen, the son of william owen (whose parents have been long in full communion), a child of the covenant, who obtained by fraud and wicked contrivance by some marriage with his brother ebenezer owen's widdow, as the pastor of the church had information by letters from the court of assistance touching the sentence there passed upon her (he making his escape). and living with her as an husband, being, by the providence of god, surprised at his cottage by the pastor of the church with major quinsey and d. tompson (of whom reports were that he was gone, we intending to discourse with her and acquaint [her] with the message received from the said court informing her ________ their appointment of an open confession of their sin in the congregation), he was affectionately treated by them, and after much discourse, finding him obstinate and reflecting, he was desired and charged to be present the next sabbath before the church, to hear what should be spoken to him, but he boldly replied he should not come. and being after treated by d. tompson and his father to come, and taking his opportunity to carry her away the last weeke, after a solemn sermon preached on cor. . , and ,[ ] and prayers added, an account was given to the church and congregation of him, the brethren voting him to be an impenitent, scandalous, wicked, incestuous sinner, and giving their consent that the sentence of excommunication should be passed upon and declared against him, which was solemnly performed by the pastor of the church according to the direction of the apostle in the above mentioned text: this of january, / ." the above, four in number, are all the cases of church discipline recorded as having been administered during the fiske pastorate. considering that this pastorate covered more than a third of a century, and that during it the original township had not yet been divided into precincts,--all the inhabitants of what are now quincy, randolph and holbrook as well as those of the present braintree, being included in the church to which mr. fiske ministered,--the record indicates a high standard of morality and order. the town at that time had a population of about seven hundred souls, which during the next pastorate increased to one thousand. mr. fiske died on the th of august, , and the rev. joseph marsh was ordained as his successor on the th of the following may ( ). at this time the town was divided for purposes of religious worship into two precincts, the records of the north precinct--now quincy--beginning on the th of january, . it then contained, "by exact enumeration," seventy-two families, or close upon four hundred souls. the record now proceeds in the handwriting of mr. marsh:-- "the first church meeting after my settlement was in august , , in the meeting-house. it was occasioned by the notoriously scandalous life of james penniman, a member of the church, though not in full communion. the crimes charged upon him and proved were his unchristian carriage towards his wife, and frequent excessive drinking. he behaved himself very insolently before the church when allowed to speak in vindication of himself, and was far from discovering any signs of true repentance. he was unanimously voted guilty and laid under solemn admonition by the church." the next entry is one of eight years later, and reads as follows:-- " . samuel hayward was suspended from the lord's supper by the brethren for his disorderly behaviour in word and deed, and his incorrigibleness therein." up to this time it had been the custom of the braintree church that any person "propounded" for membership should, before being admitted, give an oral or written relation of his or her religious experience,--a practice in strict accordance with the usage then prevailing, with perhaps a few exceptions, throughout massachusetts.[ ] the record, under date of december , , contains the following in relation to this:-- "dr. belcher's son joseph, junior sophister, [admitted.] he made the last relation, before the brethren consented to lay aside relations. "because some persons of a sober life and good conversation have signified their unwillingness to join in full communion with the church, unless they may be admitted to it without making a public relation of their spiritual experiences, which (they say) the church has no warrant in the word of god to require, it was therefore proposed to the church the last sacrament-day that they would not any more require a relation as above said from any person who desired to partake in the ordinance of the lord's supper with us, and after the case had been under debate at times among the brethren privately for the space of three weeks, the question was put to them january / being on a lord's day evening in the meeting-house, whether they would any more insist upon the making a relation as a necessary term of full communion with them? "it passed in the negative by a great majority." two months later the case of james penniman again presented itself. it was now nearly nine years since he had been solemnly admonished; and on the th of april, ,-- "sabbath day. it was proposed to the church last sabbath to excommunicate james penniman for his contumacy in sin, but this day he presented a confession, which was read before the congregation, and prayed that they would wait upon him awhile longer, which the church consented to, and he was again publicly admonished, and warned against persisting in the neglect of public worship, against idleness, drunkenness and lying; and he gave some slender hopes of reformation, seemed to be considerably affected, and behaved himself tolerably well." the following entries complete the record during the marsh pastorate of sixteen years, which ended march , , mr. marsh then dying in his forty-first year:-- "september . brother joseph parmenter made a public confession, in the presence of the congregation for the sin of drunkenness. "september . at a church meeting of the brethren to consider his case, the question was put whether they would accept his confession [to] restore him; it passed in the negative, because he has made several confessions of the sin, and is still unreformed thereof: the brethren concluded it proper to suspend him from communion in the lord's supper, for his further humiliation and warning. he was accordingly suspended. "march {d}, - . sabbath evening. brother parmenter having behaved himself well (for aught anything that appears) since his suspension, was at his desire restored again by a vote of the brethren, _nemine contradicente_. "march . joseph, a negro man, and tabitha his wife made a public confession of the sin of fornication, committed each with the other before marriage, and desired to have the ordinance of baptism administered to them. "may . the brethren of the church met together to consider what is further necessary to be done by the church towards the reformation of james penniman. he being present desired their patience towards him, and offered a trifling confession, which was read, but not accepted by the brethren, because he manifested no sign of true repentance thereof: they came to (i think) a unanimous vote that he should be cast out of the church for his incorrigibleness in his evil waies, whenever i shall see good to do it, and i promised to wait upon him some time, to see how he would behave himself before i proceeded against him. "at the same church meeting major quincey was fairly and clearly chosen by written votes to the office of tuning the psalm in our assemblies for public worship. "january , / lord's-day. in the afternoon, after a sermon on cor. . .[ ] james penniman persisting in a course of idleness, drunkenness, and in a neglect of the public worship, &c. had the fearfull sentence of excommunication pronounced upon him. "february , / . lord's day. after the public service the church being desired to stay voted--that benjamin neal, david bass and joseph neal jun. members in full communion have discovered such a perverse spirit and been guilty of such disorderly behaviour in the house and worship of god that they deserve to be suspended from communion with us at the lord's table. "february . lord's day evening. david bass acknowledging his offensive behavior and promising to be more watchfull for time to come, the brethren signified their consent that he be restored to full communion with them. "march . this day (being sacrament day) benjamin neal and joseph neal, confessing their offensive behavior in presence of the brethren, were restored to the liberty of full communion." the above are all the record entries relating to matters of discipline during the marsh pastorate, which ended march , . they cover a period of sixteen years. on the d of november following the rev. john hancock was ordained, and the following entries are in his handwriting:-- "january , . joseph p---- and lydia his wife made a confession before the church which was well accepted for the sin of fornication committed with each other before marriage. "august , . the church met again at the house of mrs. marsh to examine into the grounds of some scandalous reports of the conduct of brother david bass on may the {th} who was vehemently suspected of being confederate with one roger wilson in killing a lamb belonging to mr. edward adams of milton. the witnesses, viz. capt. john billings, mr. edward and samuel capons of dorchester, being present, the church had a full hearing of the case, who unanimously agreed that brother bass, though he denied the fact of having an hand in killing the lamb, yet was guilty of manifest prevaricating in the matter, and could not be restored to their communion without giving them satisfaction, and desired the matter might be suspended. "[nov. , .] on monday november the , we had another church meeting to hear and consider brother david bass's confession, which (after some debate) was accepted; and it was unanimously voted by the church that it should be read before the whole congregation, with which brother bass would by no means comply, and so the matter was left at this meeting. "but on december the following david bass's confession was read publicly before the church and congregation, which he owned publicly, and was accepted by the brethren by a manual vote. "november , . mehetabel the wife of john b---- jun{r} made a confession before the church and congregation for the sin of fornication, which was well accepted. "september , . elizabeth m---- made a confession before the whole congregation for the sin of fornication, which was accepted by the church. "july , . abigail, wife of joseph c----, made a confession of the sin of fornication, which was well accepted by the church, though she was ill and absent. "august , . ebenezer h---- and wife made their confession of the sin of fornication. "july , . tabitha, a servant of judge quincy, and a member of this church, made her confession for stealing a pound bill from her master, which was accepted. "august , . nathan s---- and wife made their confession of the sin of fornication which was well accepted by the church. "september , . elizabeth p----, widow, made her confession of the sin of fornication and was accepted. "[sept. , .] at a meeting of the first church of christ in braintree at the house of the pastor, september the {th} , after prayer--voted, that it is the duty of this church to examine the proofs of an unhappy quarrel between benjamin owen and joseph owen, members in full communion with this church on may {th} , whereby god has been dishonored and religion reproached. "after some examination thereof it was unanimously voted by the brethren--that the pastor should ask benjamin owen whether he would make satisfaction to the church for his late offensive behaviour, which he refused to do in a public manner, unless the charge could be more fully proved upon him. whereupon there arose several debates upon the sufficiency of the proof to demand a publick confession of him; and there appearing different apprehensions among the brethren about it, it was moved by several that the meeting should be adjourned for further consideration of the whole affair. "before the meeting was adjourned benjamin web acquainted the brethren with some scandalous reports he had heard of elizabeth morse, a member of this church, when it was unanimously voted to be the duty of this church to choose a committee to examine into the truth of them and make report to the church. and mr. benjamin web, mr. moses belcher jun{r} and mr. joseph neal, tert. were chose for the committee. "then the meeting was adjourned to the {th} inst. at oclock p. m. "the brethren met upon the adjournment, and after humble supplication to god for direction, examined more fully the proofs of the late quarrel between benj. owen and joseph owen but passed no vote upon them. "[oct. , .] at a meeting of the {st} church in braintree at the house of the pastor, oct. , --after prayer, benj. owen offered to the brethren a confession of his late offensive behavior which was not accepted. "then it was voted by the brethren that he should make confession of his offence in the following words, viz: whereas i have been left to fall into a sinful strife and quarrel with my brother joseph owen, i acknowledge i am greatly to blame that i met my brother in anger and strove with him, to the dishonor of god, and thereby also have offended my christian brethren. i desire to be humbled before god, and to ask god's forgiveness; i desire to be at peace with my brother, and to be restored to the charity of this church, and your prayers to god for me. "to which he consented, as also to make it in public. "at the desire of the brethren the meeting was adjourned to friday the inst. at o'clock p. m. that they might satisfy themselves concerning the conduct of joseph owen in the late sinful strife between him and his brother. and the pastor was desired to send to him to be present at the adjournment. "the brethren met accordingly, and after a long consideration of the proof had against joseph owen, it was proposed to the brethren whether they would defer the further consideration of joseph owen's affair to another opportunity. it was voted in the negative. "whereupon a vote was proposed in the following words viz: whether it appears to the brethren of this church that the proofs they have had against joseph owen in the late unhappy strife between him and his brother be sufficient for them to demand satisfaction from him. voted in the affirmative. "and the satisfaction the brethren voted he should make for his offence was in the following words:--i am sensible that in the late unhappy and sinful strife between me and my brother benj. owen, i am blameworthy, and i ask forgiveness of god and this church, and i desire to be at peace with my brother and ask your prayers to god for me. "then it was proposed to the brethren whether they would accept this confession, if joseph owen would make it before them at the present meeting--voted in the negative. "whereupon it was voted that he should make this satisfaction for his offence before the church upon the lord's day immediately before the administration of the lord's supper. with which he refusing to comply though he consented to make it before the church at the present meeting, the meeting was dissolved. "october , . benj'n owen made a public confession of his offence, and was restored to the charity of the church. "memorandum. at the adjournment of the church meeting sept. the {th} , mr. moses belcher and mr. joseph neal, two of the committee chosen sept. the {th}, made report to the brethren, that they had been with eliz. morse, and that she owned to them she had been delivered of two bastard children since she had made confession to the church of the sin of fornication, and she promised them to come and make the church satisfaction for her great offence the latter end of october. "[nov. , .] at a church meeting, nov. {th}, , the case of elizabeth morse came under consideration. and she having neglected to come and make satisfaction for her offence according to her promise, though she was in town at that time, the brethren proceeded and unanimously voted her suspension from the communion of this church. it was likewise unanimously voted that the pastor should admonish her in the name of the church in a letter for her great offence. "upon a motion made by some of the brethren to reconsider the vote of the church oct. relating to joseph owen, it was voted to reconsider the same. voted also that his confession be accepted before the brethren at the present meeting, which was accordingly done, and he was restored to their charity. "december , . lieutenant joseph crosbey made confession of the sin of fornication, and was restored to the charity of the church. "december , . john beale made confession of the sin of fornication, and was restored to the charity of the brethren. "april , . susanna w---- made confession of the sin of fornication, and was restored to the charity of the brethren. "may , . sam p---- and wife made public confession of the sin of fornication. accepted. "january , / . charles s---- and wife made a public confession of the sin of fornication. "june , . benj'n sutton and naomi his wife, free negroes, made confession of fornication. "december , . jeffry, my servant, and flora, his wife, servant of mr. moses belcher, negroes, made confession of the sin of fornication. "may {th}, . benjamin c---- and wife, of milton, made confession of fornication. "jan'y , / . joseph w---- and wife confessed the sin of fornication. "october , . this church suspended from their communion eleazer vesey for his disorderly unchristian life and neglecting to hear the church, according to matt. , ." the hancock pastorate lasted eighteen years, ending with mr. hancock's death on the th of may, ; and no record of cases of church discipline seems to have been kept by any of his successors in the pulpit of the north precinct church. in the year braintree probably contained some eighteen hundred or two thousand inhabitants, and during the half-century between and there is no reason to suppose that any considerable change took place in their condition, whether social, material or religious. it was a period of slow maturing. the absence of a record, therefore, in no way implies change; if it indicates anything at all in this case, it indicates merely that the successors to mr. hancock, either because they were indolent or because they saw no advantage in so doing, made no written mention of anything relating to the church's life or action beyond what was contained in the book regularly kept by the precinct clerk. there are but two exceptions to this, both consisting of brief entries made, the one by the rev. lemuel bryant, the immediate successor of mr. hancock, the other by the rev. anthony wibird, who in followed mr. bryant. both entries are to be found on the second page of the volume from which all the extracts relating to church discipline have been taken. mr. bryant was for his time an advanced religious thinker, and, as is invariably the case with such, he failed to carry the whole of his flock along with him. owing to declining health he resigned his pastorate in october, , having exactly two months before recorded the following case of discipline:-- "august , . ebenezer adams was suspended from the communion of the church for the false, abusive and scandalous stories that his unbridled tongue had spread against the pastor, and refusing to make a proper confession of his monstrous wickedness." the other of these two records bears date almost exactly twenty years later, and was doubtless made because of the preceding entry. it is very brief, and as follows:-- "november , . the church made choice of ebenezer adams for deacon, in the place of deacon palmer, who resigned the stated exercise of his office." after , therefore, the only records of the north precinct church are those contained in the book kept by the successive precinct clerks, which has often been consulted, but never copied. none of the entries in it relate to cases of discipline or to matters spiritual, they being almost exclusively prudential in character. no record is made of births, baptisms, deaths or marriages, which were still for several years to come noted in the small volume from which i have quoted. accordingly the braintree north precinct records after mr. hancock's ministry are of far inferior interest, though as the volume containing them from to distinctly belongs to what are known as "ancient records," and as such is liable at any time to be lost or destroyed, i have caused a copy of it to be made, and have deposited it for safe keeping in the library of this society. an examination of this volume only very occasionally brings to light anything which is of more than local interest, or which has a bearing on the social or religious conditions of the last century, though here and there something is found which constitutes an exception to this rule. such, for instance, is the following entry in the record of the proceedings of a precinct meeting held on the th of july, , to take measures for properly noticing the completion of the new meeting-house then being built:-- "after a considerable debate with respect to the raising of the new meeting-house, &c., the question was put whether the committee should provide bred cheap sugar rum sider and bear &c. for the raising of said meeting house at the cost of the precinct. it passed in the affirmative." i have been unable to discover any subsequent detailed statement of expenses incurred and disbursements made under the authority conferred by this vote. such a document might be interesting. two years before, when in the rev. mr. jackson was ordained as pastor of the church of woburn, among the items of expense were four, aggregating the sum of £ _s._, representing the purchase of " barrels and one half of cyder, gallons of wine, gallons of brandy and four of rum, loaf sugar, lime juice, and pipes," all, it is to be presumed, consumed at the time and on the spot. it has of course been noticed that a large proportion of the entries i have quoted relate to discipline administered in cases of fornication, in many of which confession is made by husband and wife, and is of acts committed before marriage. the experience of braintree in this respect was in no way peculiar among the massachusetts towns of the last century. while examining the braintree records i incidentally came across a singular and conclusive bit of unpublished documentary evidence on this point in the records of the church of groton; for, casually mentioning one day in the rooms of the society the braintree records to our librarian, dr. s. a. green, he informed me that the similar records of the groton church were in his possession, and he kindly put them at my disposal. though covering a later period ( - ) than the portion of the braintree church records from which the extracts contained in this paper have been made, the groton records supplement and explain the braintree records to a very remarkable degree. in the latter there is no vote or other entry showing the church rule or usage which led to these post-nuptial confessions of ante-marital relations; but in the groton records i find the following among the preliminary votes passed at the time of signing the church covenant, regulating the admission of members to full communion:-- "june , . the church then voted with regard to baptizing children of persons newly married, that those parents that have not a child till seven yearly months after marriage are subjects of our christian charity, and (if in a judgment of charity otherwise qualified) shall have the privilege of baptism for their infants without being questioned as to their honesty." this rule prevailed in the groton church for nearly forty years, until in january, , it was brought up again for consideration by an article in the warrant calling a church meeting "to see if the church will reconsider and annul the rule established by former vote and usage of the church requiring an acknowledgment before the congregation of those persons who have had a child within less time than seven yearly months after marriage as a term of their having baptism for their children." the compelling cause to the confessions referred to was therefore the parents' desire to secure baptism for their offspring during a period when baptism was believed to be essential to salvation, with the calvinistic hell as an alternative. the constant and not infrequently cruel use made by the church and the clergy of the parental fear of infant damnation--the belief "that millions of infants are tortured in hell to all eternity for a sin that was committed thousands of years before they were born"--is matter of common knowledge. not only did it compel young married men and women to shameful public confessions of the kind which has been described, but it was at times arbitrarily used by some ministers in a way which is at once ludicrous and, now, hard to understand. certain of them, for instance, refused to baptize infants born on the sabbath, there being an ancient superstition to the effect that a child born on the sabbath was also conceived on the sabbath; a superstition presumably the basis on which was founded the provision of the apocryphal blue laws of connecticut,-- "whose rule the nuptial kiss restrains on sabbath day, in legal chains";[ ] and there is one well-authenticated case of a massachusetts clergyman whose practice it was thus to refuse to baptize sabbath-born babes, who in passage of time had twins born to him on a lord's day. he publicly confessed his error, and in due time administered the rite to his children.[ ] with the church refusing baptism on the one side, and with an eternity of torment for unbaptized infants on the other, some definite line had to be drawn. this was effected through what was known as "the seven months' rule"; and the penalty for its violation, enforced and made effective by the refusal of the rites of baptism, was a public confession. under the operation of "the seven months' rule" the records of the groton church show that out of two hundred persons owning the baptismal covenant in that church during the fourteen years between and no less than sixty-six confessed to fornication before marriage.[ ] the entries recording these cases are very singular. at first the full name of the person, or persons in the case of husband and wife, is written, followed by the words "confessed and restored" in full. somewhat later, about the year , the record becomes regularly "confessed fornication;" which two years later is reduced to "con. for.;" which is subsequently still further abbreviated into merely "c. f." during the three years , and sixteen couples were admitted to full communion; and of these nine had the letters "c. f." inscribed after their names in the church records. i also find the following in regard to this church usage in worthington's "history of dedham" (pp. , ), further indicating that the groton and braintree records reveal no exceptional condition of affairs:-- "the church had ever in this place required of its members guilty of unlawful cohabitation before marriage, a public confession of that crime, before the whole congregation. the offending female stood in the broad aisle beside the partner of her guilt. if they had been married, the declaration of the man was silently assented to by the woman. this had always been a delicate and difficult subject for church discipline. the public confession, if it operated as a corrective, likewise produced merriment with the profane. i have seen no instance of a public confession of this sort until the ministry of mr. dexter ( - ) and then they were extremely rare. in , the church gave the confessing parties the privilege of making a private confession to the church, in the room of a public confession. in mr. haven's ministry, ( - ) the number of cases of unlawful cohabitation, increased to an alarming degree. for twenty-five years before twenty-five cases had been publicly acknowledged before the congregation, and fourteen cases within the last ten years." it will be noticed in the above extract that the writer says he had "seen no instance of a public confession of this sort" prior to , and that until after "they were extremely rare." in the case of the braintree records, also, it will be remembered there was but one case of public confession recorded prior to , and that solitary case occurred in . the record commissioners of the city of boston in their sixth report (document -- ) printed the rev. john eliot's record of church members of roxbury, which covers the period from the gathering of the church in to the year , and includes notes of many cases of discipline. among these i find the following, the earliest of its kind:-- " . month day . hanna hopkins was censured in the church with admonition for fornication with her husband before thei were maryed and for flying away from justice, unto road iland." (p. .) during the next eighteen years i find in these records only seven entries of other cases generally similar in character to the above, though the roxbury records contain a number of entries descriptive of interesting cases of church discipline, besides many memoranda of "strange providences of god" and "dreadful examples of gods judgment." it would seem, however, that the instances of church discipline publicly administered on the ground of sexual immorality were infrequent in roxbury, as in dedham and braintree, prior to the year . as will presently be seen, a change either in morals or in discipline, but probably in the latter more than in the former, apparently took place at about that time. * * * * * so far as they bear upon the question of sexual morality in massachusetts during the eighteenth century, what do the foregoing facts and extracts from the records indicate?--what inferences can be legitimately drawn from them? and here i wish to emphasize the fact that this paper makes no pretence of being an exhaustive study. in it, as i stated in the beginning, i have made use merely of such material as chanced to come into my hands in connection with a very limited field of investigation. i have made no search for additional material, nor even inquired what other facts of a similar character to those i have given may be preserved in the records of the two other braintree precincts. i have not sought to compare the records i have examined with the similar records i know exist of the churches of neighboring towns,--such as those of dorchester, hingham, weymouth, milton and dedham. so doing would have involved an amount of labor which the matter under investigation would not justify on my part. i have therefore merely made use of a certain amount of the raw material of history i have chanced upon, bringing to bear on it such other general information of a similar character as i remember from time to time to have come across. though the historians of new england, whether of the formal description, like palfrey and barry, or of the social and economic order, like elliott and weeden, have little if anything to say on the subject, i think it not unsafe to assert that during the eighteenth century the inhabitants of new england did not enjoy a high reputation for sexual morality. lord dartmouth, for instance, who, as secretary for the colonies, had charge of american affairs during a portion of the north administration, in one of his conversations with governor hutchinson referred to the commonness of illegitimate offspring "among the young people of new england"[ ] as a thing of accepted notoriety; nor did hutchinson, than whom no one was better informed on all matters relating to new england, controvert the proposition. and yet, speaking again from the material which chances to be at my own disposal, i find, so far as braintree is concerned, nothing to justify this statement of lord dartmouth's in the manuscript record book of col. john quincy, which has been preserved, and is now in the possession of this society. colonel quincy was a prominent man in his day and neighborhood; and the north precinct of braintree, in which he lived and was buried, when, nearly thirty years after his death, it was incorporated as a town, took its name from him. as a justice of the peace, colonel quincy kept a careful record of the cases, both civil and criminal, which came before him between and , a period of forty-five years. these cases, a great part of them criminal, were over two hundred in number, and came not only from braintree but from other parts of the old county of suffolk. under these circumstances, if the state of affairs indicated by lord dartmouth's remark, and governor hutchinson's apparent admission of its truth, did really prevail, many bastardy warrants would during those forty-five years naturally have come before so active a magistrate as john quincy. such does not seem to have been the case. indeed i find during the whole period but four bastardy entries,--one in , one in , one in , and one in ,--and, in , one complaint against a woman to answer for fornication. considering the length of time the record of colonel quincy covers, this is a remarkably small number of cases, and, taken by itself, would seem to indicate the exact opposite from the condition of affairs revealed in the church records of the same period, for it includes the whole hancock pastorate. this record book of colonel quincy's i will add is the only original legal material i have bearing on this subject. an examination of the files of the provincial courts would undoubtedly bring more material to light. i have only further to say, in passing, that some of the other cases mentioned in this john quincy record are not without a curious interest. for instance, august , , john veasey, "husbandman," is put under recognizance in the sum of £ "for detaining his child from the public worship of god, said child being about eleven years old." on the same day john belcher, "cordwainer," is put under a similar recognizance "for absenting himself from the public worship of god the winter past." eleazer veasey,--the braintree veaseys i will say in passing were members of the church of england in braintree, and not members of the braintree church,--eleazer veasey is, on the th of september, , fined five shillings to the use of the town poor for "uttering a profane curse." so also christopher dyer, "husbandman," "did utter one profane curse," to which charge he pleaded guilty, and, on the th of may, , was fined four shillings for the use of the poor. in this case the costs were assessed at six shillings, making ten shillings as the total cost of an oath in massachusetts at that time; but as dyer was a "soldier of his majesty's service," the court added that if the fine was not paid forthwith, he (dyer) "be publickly set in the stocks or cage for the space of three hours." returning to the subject of church discipline and public confessions of incontinence, it will be observed that in the case of the north precinct church of braintree the great body of these confessions are recorded as being made during the hancock pastorate, or between the years and . this also, it will be remembered, was the period of what is known in new england history as "the great awakening," described in the first chapter of the recently published fifth volume of dr. palfrey's work. some writers, while referring to what they call "the tide of immorality" which then and afterward "rolled," as they express it, over the land, so that "not even the bulwark of the church had been able to withstand" it,--these writers, themselves of course ministers of the church, have, for want of any more apparent cause, attributed the condition of affairs they deplored, but were compelled to admit, to the influence of the french wars, which, it will be remembered, broke out in , and, with an intermission of six years ( - ), lasted until the conquest of canada was completed in . but it would be matter for curious inquiry whether both the condition of affairs referred to and the confessions made in public of sins privately committed were not traceable to the church itself rather than to the army,--whether they were not rather due to the spiritual than to the martial conditions of the time. i have neither the material at my disposal, nor the time and inclination to go into this study, both physiological and psychological, and shall therefore confine myself to a few suggestions only which have occurred to me in the course of the examination of the records i have been discussing. "the great awakening," so called, occurred in ,--it was then that whitefield preached on boston common to an audience about equal in number to three quarters of the entire population of the town.[ ] five years before, in , had occurred the famous northampton revival, engineered and presided over by jonathan edwards; and previous to that there had been a number of small local outbreaks of the same character, which his "venerable and honoured grandfather stoddard," as edwards describes his immediate predecessor in the northampton pulpit, was accustomed to refer to as "harvests," in which there was "a considerable ingathering of souls." a little later this spiritual condition became general and, so to speak, epidemic. there are few sadder or more suggestive forms of literature than that in which the religious contagion of , for it was nothing else, is described; it reveals a state of affairs bordering close on universal insanity. take for instance the following from edwards's "narrative" of what took place at northampton:-- "presently upon this, a great and earnest concern about the great things of religion, and the eternal world, became _universal_ in all parts of the town, and among persons of all degrees, and all ages; the noise amongst the _dry bones_ waxed louder and louder: all other talk but about spiritual and eternal things, was soon thrown by.... there was scarcely a single person in the town, either old or young, that was left unconcerned about the great things of the eternal world. those that were wont to be the vainest, and loosest, and those that had been most disposed to think, and speak slightly of vital and experimental religion, were now generally subject to great awakenings.... souls did as it were come by flocks to jesus christ. from day to day, for many months together, might be seen evident instances of sinners brought _out of darkness into marvellous light_, and delivered _out of an horrible pit, and from the miry clay, and set upon a rock_, with a _new song of praise to god in their mouths_ ... in the spring and summer following, _anno_ the town seemed to be full of the presence of god. it never was so full of _love_, nor so full of _joy_; and yet so full of distress as it was then. there were remarkable tokens of god's presence in almost every house.... our publick _praises_ were then greatly enlivened.... in all _companies_ on _other_ days, on whatever _occasions_ persons met together, _christ_ was to be heard of and seen in the midst of them. our _young people_, when they met, were wont to spend the time in talking of the _excellency_ and dying _love_ of jesus christ, the gloriousness of the way of _salvation_, the wonderful, free, and sovereign _grace_ of god, his glorious work in the _conversion_ of a soul, the _truth_ and certainty of the great things of god's word, the sweetness of the views of his _perfection &c._ and even at _weddings_, which formerly were meerly occasions of mirth and jollity, there was now no discourse of any thing but the things of religion, and no appearance of any, but _spiritual mirth_."[ ] and it was this pestiferous stuff,--for though it emanated from the pure heart and powerful brain of the greatest of american theologians, it is best to characterize it correctly,--it was this pestiferous stuff that wesley read during a walk from london to oxford in , and wrote of it in his journal,--"surely this is the lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes." such was the prevailing spiritual condition of the period in which the entries i have read were made in the braintree church records. in the language of the text from which dr. colman preached on the occasion of the first stated evening lecture ever held in boston, "souls flying to jesus christ [were] pleasant and admirable to behold." the brother clergyman[ ] who prepared and delivered from the pulpit of the braintree church a funeral sermon on mr. hancock referred to the religious excesses of the time, and described the dead pastor as a "wise and skilful pilot" who had steered "a right and safe course in the late troubled sea of ecclesiastical affairs," so that his people had to a considerable degree "escaped the errors and enthusiasm ... in matters of religion which others had fallen into."[ ] nevertheless it is almost impossible for any locality to escape wholly a general epidemic; and in those days public relations of experiences were not only usual in the churches, but they were a regular feature in all cases of admission to full communion. that this was the case in the braintree church is evident from the extract already quoted from the records, when in "some persons of a sober life and good conversation signified their unwillingness to join in full communion with the church unless they [might] be admitted to it without making a public relation of their spiritual experiences." it was also everywhere noticed that the women, and especially the young women, were peculiarly susceptible to attacks of the spiritual epidemic. jonathan edwards for instance mentions, in the case of northampton, how the young men of that place had become "addicted to night-walking and frequenting the tavern, and leud practices," and how they would "get together in conventions of both sexes for mirth and jollity, which they called frolicks; and they would spend the greater part of the night in them"; and among the first indications of the approach of the epidemic noticed by him was the case of a young woman who had been one of the greatest "company keepers" in the whole town, who became "serious, giving evidence of a heart truly broken and sanctified." this same state of affairs doubtless then prevailed in braintree, and indeed throughout new england. the whole community was in a sensitive condition morally and spiritually,--so sensitive that, as the braintree records show, the contagion extended to all classes, and, among those bearing some of the oldest names in the history of the township, we find also negroes,--"benjamin sutton and naomi his wife," and "jeffry, my servant, and flora, his wife,"--grotesquely getting up before the congregation to make confession, like their betters, of the sin of fornication before marriage. it, of course, does not need to be said that such a state of morbid and spiritual excitement would necessarily lead to public confessions of an unusual character. women, and young women in particular, would be inclined to brood over things unknown save to those who participated in them, and think to find in confession only a means of escape from the torment of that hereafter concerning which they entertained no doubts; hence perhaps many of these records which now seem both so uncalled for and so inexplicable. so far, however, what has been said relates only to the matter of public confession; it remains for others to consider how far a morbidly excited spiritual condition may also have been responsible for the sin confessed. the connection between the animal and the spiritual natures of human beings taken in the aggregate, though subtile, is close; and while it is well known that camp-meetings have never been looked upon as peculiar, or even as conspicuous, for the continence supposed to prevail at them, there is no doubt whatever that in england the license of the restoration followed close on the rule of the saints. one of the authorities on new england history, speaking of the outward manifestations of the "great awakening," says that "the fervor of excitement showed itself in strong men, as well as in women, by floods of tears, by outcries, by bodily paroxysms, jumping, falling down and rolling on the ground, regardless of spectators or their clothes." then the same authority goes on to add:--"but it was common that when the exciting preacher had departed, the excitement also subsided, and men and women returned peaceably to their daily duties."[ ] this last may have been the case; but it is not probable that men and women in the condition of mental and physical excitement described could go about their daily duties without carrying into them some trace of morbid reaction. it was a species of insanity; and insanity invariably reveals itself in unexpected and contradictory forms. but it is for others, like my friend dr. green, both by education and professional experience more versed in these subjects than i, to say whether a period of sexual immorality should not be looked for as the natural concomitant and sequence of such a condition of moral and religious excitement as prevailed in new england between and . i merely now call attention to the fact that in braintree the hancock pastorate began in and ended in , and that it was during the hancock pastorate, also the period of "the great awakening," that public confessions of fornication were most frequently made in the braintree church; further, and finally, it was during the years which immediately followed that the great "tide of immorality" which the clergy of the day so much deplored, "rolled over the land." but it still remains to consider whether the entries referred to in the church records must be taken as conclusive evidence that a peculiarly lax condition of affairs as respects the sexual relation did really prevail in new england during the last century. this does not necessarily follow; and, for reasons i shall presently give, i venture to doubt it. in the first place it is to be remembered that the language used in those days does not carry the same meaning that similar language would carry if used now. for instance, when jonathan edwards talks of the youth of northampton being given to "night-walking ... and leud practices," he does not at all mean what we should mean by using the same expression; and the young woman who was one of the greatest "company keepers" in the whole town, was probably nothing worse than a lively village girl much addicted to walking with her young admirers after public lecture on the sabbath afternoons,--"a disorder," by the way, which jonathan edwards says he made "a thorough reformation of ... which has continued ever since."[ ] so far the relations then prevailing between the young of the two sexes may have been, and probably were, innocent enough, and nothing more needs be said of them; but coming now to the facts revealed in the church records, i venture to doubt the correctness of the inference as to general laxity which would naturally be drawn from them. the situation as respects sexual morality which prevailed in new england during the eighteenth century seems to me to have been peculiar rather than bad. in other words, though there was much incontinence, that incontinence was not promiscuous; and this statement brings me at once to the necessary consideration of another recognized and well-established custom in the more ordinary and less refined new england life of the last century, which has been considered beneath what is known as the dignity of history to notice, and to which, accordingly, no reference is made by palfrey or barry, or, so far as i know, by any of the standard authorities: and yet, unless i am greatly mistaken, it is to this carefully ignored usage or custom that we must look for an explanation of the greater part of the confessions recorded in the annals of the churches. i refer, of course, to the practice known as "bundling." i do not propose here to go into a description of "bundling,"[ ] or to attempt to trace its origin or the extent to which it prevailed in new england during the last century. all this has been sufficiently done in the little volume on the subject prepared by dr. h. r. stiles, and published some twenty years ago. for my present purpose it is only necessary for me to say that the practice of "bundling" has long been one of the standing taunts or common-place indictments against new england, and has been supposed to indicate almost the lowest conceivable state of sexual immorality;[ ] but, on the other hand, it may safely be asserted that "bundling" was, as a custom, neither so vicious nor so immoral as is usually supposed; nor did it originate in, nor was it peculiar to, new england. it was a practice growing out of the social and industrial conditions of a primitive people, of simple, coarse manners and small means. two young persons proposed to marry. they and their families were poor; they lived far apart from each other; they were at work early and late all the week. under these circumstances saturday evening and sunday were the recognized time for meeting. the young man came to the house of the girl after saturday's sun-down, and they could see each other until sunday afternoon, when he had to go back to his own home and work. the houses were small, and every nook in them occupied; and in order that the man might not be turned out of doors, or the two be compelled to sit up all night at a great waste of lights and fuel, and that they might at the same time be in each other's company, they were "bundled" up together on a bed, in which they lay side by side and partially clothed. it goes without saying that, however it originated, such a custom, if recognized and continued, must degenerate into something coarse and immoral. the inevitable would follow. the only good and redeeming feature about it was the utter absence of concealment and secrecy. all was open and recognized. the very "bundling" was done by the hands of mother and sisters. as i have said, this custom neither originated in nor was it peculiar to new england, though in new england, as elsewhere, it did lead to the same natural results. and i find conclusive evidence of this statement in all its several parts in the following extract from a book published as late as , descriptive of customs, etc., then prevailing in north wales. for the extract i am indebted to dr. stiles:-- "saturday or sunday nights are the principal time when this courtship takes place; and on these nights the men sometimes walk from a distance of ten miles or more to visit their favorite damsels. this strange custom seems to have originated in the scarcity of fuel and in the unpleasantness of sitting together in the colder part of the year without a fire. much has been said of the innocence with which these meetings are conducted; but it is a very common thing for the consequence of the interview to make its appearance in the world within two or three months after the marriage ceremony has taken place." and again, referring to the same practice as it prevailed in holland, another of the authorities quoted by dr. stiles, relating his observations also during the present century, speaks of a-- "courtship similar to bundling, carried on in ... holland, under the name of _queesting_. at night the lover has access to his mistress after she is in bed; and upon application to be admitted upon the bed, which is of course granted, he raises the quilt or rug, and in this state _queests_, or enjoys a harmless chit-chat with her, and then retires. this custom meets with the perfect sanction of the most circumspect parents, and the freedom is seldom abused. the author traces its origin to the parsimony of the people, whose economy considers fire and candles as superfluous luxuries in the long winter evenings." the most singular, and to me unaccountable, fact connected with the custom of "bundling" is that, though it unquestionably prevailed--and prevailed long, generally and from an early period--in new england, no trace has been reported of it in any localities of england itself, the mother country. there are well-authenticated records of its prevalence in parts at least of ireland, wales, scotland and holland; but it could hardly have found its way as a custom from any of those countries to new england. i well remember hearing the late dr. john g. palfrey remark--and the remark will, i think, very probably be found in some note to the text of his history of new england--that down to the beginning of the present century, or about the year , there was a purer strain of english blood to be found in the inhabitants of cape cod than could be found in any county of england. the original settlers of that region were exclusively english, and for the first two centuries after the settlement there was absolutely no foreign admixture. yet nowhere in new england does the custom of "bundling" seem to have prevailed more generally than on cape cod; and according to dr. stiles (p. ) it was on cape cod that the practice held out longest against the advance of more refined manners. it is tolerably safe to say that in a time of constantly developing civilization such a custom would originate nowhere. it is obviously a development from something of a coarser and more promiscuous nature which preceded it,--some social condition such as has been often described in books relating to the more destitute portions of ireland or the crowded districts in english cities, where, in the language of tennyson,-- "the poor are hovell'd and hustled together, each sex, like swine." such a custom as "bundling," therefore, bears on its face the fact that it is an inheritance from a simple and comparatively primitive period. if, then, in the case of new england, it was not derived from the mother country, it becomes a curious question whence and how it was derived. but no matter whence or how derived, it is obvious that the prevalence of such a custom would open a ready and natural way for a vast increase of sexual immorality at any time when surrounding conditions predisposed a community in that direction. this is exactly what i cannot help surmising occurred in new england at the time of "the great awakening" of the last century, and immediately subsequent thereto. the movement was there, and in obedience to the universal law it made its way on the lines of least resistance. hence the entries of public confession in the church records, and the tide of immorality in presence of which the clergy stood aghast. but in order to substantiate this theory of an historical manifestation it remains to consider how generally the custom of "bundling" prevailed in new england, and to how late a day it continued. the accredited historians of new england, so far as i am acquainted with their writings, throw little light on this question. mr. elliott, for instance, in his chapter on the manners and customs of the new england people, contents himself with some pleasing generalities like the following, the correctness of which he would have found difficulty in maintaining:-- "with this exalted, even exaggerated, value of the individual entertained in new england, it was not possible that men or women entertaining it should yield themselves to corrupt or debasing practices. chastity was, therefore, a cardinal virtue, and the abuse of it a crying sin, to be punished by law, and by the severe reproof of all good citizens."[ ] according to this authority, therefore, as "bundling" was unquestionably both a "corrupt" and a "debasing practice," "it was not possible that men or women" of new england "should yield themselves" to it; and that ends the matter. passing on from mr. elliott to another authority: in his recently published and very valuable "economic and social history of new england," mr. weeden has two references to "bundling." in one of them (p. ) he speaks of it as "certainly an unpuritan custom" which was "extensively practised in connecticut and western massachusetts," against which "jonathan edwards raised his powerful voice"; and again he later on (p. ) alludes to it as "a curious custom which accorded little with the new england character," and which "lingered among the lower orders of people ... prevailing in western massachusetts as late as ." i am led to believe that the custom prevailed far more generally and to a much later date than these statements of mr. weeden would seem to indicate; that, indeed, it was continued even in eastern massachusetts and the towns immediately about boston until after the close of the revolutionary troubles, and probably until the beginning of the present century. the braintree church records throw no light on this portion of the subject; but the groton church records show that not until was the practice discontinued of compelling a public confession before the whole congregation whenever a child was born in less than seven months after marriage. turning then to worthington's "history of dedham" (p. ),--a town only ten miles from boston,--i find that the rev. mr. haven, the pastor of the church there, alarmed at the number of cases of unlawful cohabitation, preached at least as late as "a long and memorable discourse," in which, with a courage deserving of unstinted praise, he dealt with "the growing sin" publicly from his pulpit, attributing "the frequent recurrence of the fault to the custom then prevalent of females admitting young men to their beds who sought their company with intentions of marriage." again, in a letter of mrs. john adams, written in , in which she gives a very graphic and lively account of a voyage across the atlantic in a sailing-vessel of that period, i find the following, in which mrs. adams, describing how the passengers all lived in the common cabin, adds:--"necessity has no law; but what should i have thought on shore to have laid myself down in common with half a dozen gentlemen? we have curtains, it is true, and we only in part undress,--about as much as the yankee bundlers."[ ] mrs. adams was then writing to her elder sister, mrs. cranch; they were both women of exceptional refinement,--granddaughters of col. john quincy, and daughters of the pastor of the weymouth church. mrs. adams while writing her letter knew that it would be eagerly looked for at home, and that it would be read aloud and passed from hand to hand through all her acquaintance, and this was in fact the case; so it is evident, from this easy, passing allusion, that the custom of "bundling" was then so common in the community in which mrs. adams lived, that not only was written reference to it freely made, but the reference conveyed to a large circle of friends a perfect idea of what she meant to describe. at the same time the use of the phrase "the yankee bundlers" indicates the social class to which the custom was confined. the general prevalence of the practice of "bundling" throughout new england, and especially in southeastern massachusetts, up to the close of the last century may therefore, i think, be assumed. i have already said that the origin of the custom was due to sparseness of settlement, the primitive and frugal habits of the people permitting the practice, and the absence of good means of communication. it becomes, therefore, a somewhat curious subject of inquiry whether traces of "bundling" can be found in the traditions and records of any of our large towns. that it existed and was commonly practised within a ten-mile radius of boston i have shown; but i greatly doubt whether it ever obtained in boston itself. nevertheless, an examination of the church records of boston, salem, and more especially of plymouth, would be interesting, with a view to ascertaining whether the spirit of sexual incontinence prevailed during the last century in the large towns of new england to the same extent to which it unquestionably prevailed in the rural districts. my own belief is that it did so prevail, though the practice of "bundling" was not in use; if i am correct in this surmise, it would follow that the evil was a general one, and that "bundling" was merely the custom through which it found vent. in such case the cause of the evil would have to be looked for in some other direction. it would then, paradoxical as such a statement may at first appear, probably be found in the superior general morality of the community and the strict oversight of a public opinion which, except in boston,--a large commercial place, where there was always a considerable floating population of sailors and others,--prevented the recognized existence of any class of professional prostitutes. on the one hand, a certain form of incontinence was not associated either in the male or female mind with the presence of a degraded class, while, on the other hand, the natural appetites were to a limited extent gratified. it was in their attempt wholly to ignore these natural appetites that jonathan edwards and the clergy of the last century fell into their error. i have alluded to the early church records of plymouth as probably offering a peculiarly interesting field of inquiry in this matter. i have never seen those records, and know nothing of them; but as long ago as the year governor bradford had occasion to bewail the condition of affairs then existing at plymouth,--"not only," he declared, "incontinencie betweene persons unmaried, for which many both men and women have been punished sharply enough, but some maried persons allso"; and he exclaimed, "marvilous it may be to see and consider how some kind of wickednes did grow and breake forth here, in a land wher the same was so much witnesed against, and so narrowly looked unto, and severly punished when it was knowne!" but finally, with great shrewdness and an insight into human nature which might well have been commended to the prayerful consideration of jonathan edwards and the revivalists of exactly one century later, governor bradford goes on to conclude that-- "it may be in this case as it is with waters when their streames are stopped or dammed up, when they gett passage they flow with more violence, and make more noys and disturbance, then when they are suffered to rune quietly in their owne chanels. so wikednes being here more stopped by strict laws, and the same more nerly looked unto, so as it cannot rune in a comone road of liberty as it would, and is inclined, it searches every wher, and at last breaks out wher it getts vente."[ ] there is one other episode i have come across in my local investigations, of the same general character as those i have referred to, which throws a curious gleam of light on the problems now under discussion. i have already mentioned the fact, quite significant, that during the very period when the church was most active in disciplining cases of fornication, the court record of john quincy shows that but one case of fornication was brought before him in forty-five years. this was in , and the woman was bound over in the sum of £ to appear before the superior court. that woman i take to have been a prostitute. her case was exceptional, so recognized, and summarily dealt with. in the braintree town records there are some mysterious entries which i am led to believe relate to another and similar case, but one in which the objectionable character was otherwise dealt with. in the midst of the revolutionary troubles the following votes were passed at the annual town meeting held in the meeting-house of the middle precinct, now braintree, on the th of march, :-- "voted that doctor baker be desired to leave this town, also "voted, that the eight men that doctor baker gott a warrant for go immediately and deliver themselves up to justice." fifteen days later, at another meeting held on the th of march, this matter again presented itself, and the following entry records the action taken:-- "a motion was made to chuse a committee to be ready to appear and make a stand against any vexatious law suit that may be brought against any of the inhabitants of this town by doctor moses baker then, "voted, that thomas penniman, esq{r.} col{o} edmund billings, mr. azariah faxon, capt. john vinton and capt. peter b. adams be a committee to use their influence with proper authority to suppress, any vexatious law suits that may be brought by doctor moses baker against any of the inhabitants of this town and that said committee shall be allowed by the town for their time. "messrs william penniman and joseph spear entered their dissent to the last vote, as being illegal and improper, as there was no such article in the warrant only in general terms."[ ] i have endeavored to learn something of the transaction to which these mysterious entries of over a century ago relate, and the result of my inquiries seems to indicate a state of affairs then existing in the neighborhood of boston very suggestive of those "white-cap" and "moonshiner" proceedings in the western and southern states, accounts of which from time to time appear in the telegraphic despatches to our papers. dr. moses baker lived and practised medicine in what is now the town of randolph, and in he was one of two physicians to whom the town voted permission to establish an inoculating hospital. in he was about forty years of age, and married. at the time there dwelt not far from where dr. baker lived a woman of bad reputation, with whom dr. baker was, whether rightly or not, believed to have improper relations. certain men living in the neighborhood accordingly undertook to act as a local committee to enforce good morals; and this committee decided to ride dr. baker and the woman in question together on horseback to a convenient locality near the meeting-house, and there tar and feather them. a broken-down old hack, deemed meet and appropriate for use as a charger in such case, was accordingly procured; and going to the woman's house, the _vigilantes_ actually took her from her bed, and, without allowing her to clothe herself, put her on the horse, and then proceeded to baker's house. he in the mean time had received notice of the proposed visit; and when the party reached their destination they found him indignant, armed and resolute. he threatened to shoot the first man who laid hands on him. this was a turn in affairs which the self-constituted vindicators of public morality had not contemplated, and accordingly they proceeded no further in their purpose. dr. baker was not molested, and the woman was released. it is immaterial, so far as this paper is concerned, whether there was, or whether there was not, ground for the feeling against baker. in the emergency he does not seem to have demeaned himself either as one guilty or afraid; and, as the action of the town meetings shows, he did not hesitate to bring the whole matter before the courts and into public notice. but for my present purposes this is of no consequence; the significance of the incident here lies in the confirmatory evidence which the extracts from the records afford of the inferences drawn from the facts set forth in the earlier part of this paper. the offending female in this case seems to have been what is known as a woman of bad or abandoned character; the man's relations with her are assumed as notorious. here was a state of things which public opinion would not tolerate. probably more than half of those who took part in the proposed vindication of decency and morals looked with indifference on the custom of "bundling." that was in anticipation of marriage, and in its natural results there was nothing which savored of promiscuous incontinence. the extraordinary entries in the records show how fully the town sympathized with and supported the _vigilantes_, as they would now be called in mexicanized parlance of the extreme southwest. the distinction i have endeavored to draw between the excusable, if not permissible, incontinence of the new england country community of the last century, and the idea of promiscuous immorality as we entertain it, is clearly seen in this baker episode. * * * * * having now made use of all the original material the possession of which led me into the preparation of the present paper, it might at this point properly be brought to a close; but i am tempted to go on and touch on one further point which has long been with me a matter of doubt, and in regard to which i have been disposed to reach opposite conclusions at different times,--i refer to the comparative morality of the last century and that which is now closing. has there been during the nineteenth century, taken as a whole, a distinct advance in the matter of sexual morality as compared with the eighteenth? or has the change, which it is admitted has taken place, been only in outward appearance, while beneath a surface of greater refinement human nature remains ever and always the same? it is unquestionably true that in a large and widely differentiated community like that in which we live the individual, no matter who he is, knows very little of what may be called the real "true inwardness" of his surroundings. any one who wishes to satisfy himself on this point need only seek out some elderly and retired country doctor or lawyer of an observing turn of mind and retentive memory, and then, if the inquirer should be fortunate enough to lead such an one into a confidential mood, listen to his reminiscences. it has been my privilege to accomplish this result on several occasions; and i may freely say that i have always emerged from those interviews in a more or less morally dishevelled condition. after them i have for considerable periods entertained grave and abiding doubts whether, except in outward appearance and respect for conventionalities, the present could claim any superiority over the past. a cursory inspection of the criminal and immoral literature of the day, which the printing-press now empties out in a volume heretofore undreamed of, tends strongly to confirm this feeling of doubt,--which becomes almost a conviction when, from time to time, the realistic details of some lord colin campbell or sir charles dilke or charles stewart parnell scandal are paraded in the newspapers. yet, such staggering evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, i find myself unable to get away from the record; and that record, so far as it has cursorily reached me in the course of my investigations, leads me to conclude that the real moral improvement of the year , as compared with the conditions in that respect existing in the year or even , is not less marked and encouraging than is the change of language and expression permissible in the days of shakspeare and of defoe and of fielding to that to which we are accustomed in the pages of scott, thackeray and hawthorne. for instance, again recurring to my own investigations, i have from time to time come across things which, as indicating a state of affairs prevailing in the olden time, have fairly taken away my breath. here is a portion of a note from the edition of thomas morton's "new english canaan," prepared by me some years ago as one of the publications of the prince society, which bears on this statement:-- "josselyn says of the 'indesses,' as he calls them [indian women] 'all of them are of a modest demeanor, considering their savage breeding; and indeed do shame our _english_ rusticks whose ludeness in many things exceedeth theirs.' (_two voyages_, , .) when the massachusetts indian women, in september, , sold the furs from their backs to the first party of explorers from plymouth, winslow, who wrote the account of that expedition, says that they 'tied boughs about them, but with great shamefacedness, for indeed they are more modest than some of our english women are.' (mourt, p. .) see, also, to the same effect wood's _prospect_, (p. ). it suggests, indeed, a curious inquiry as to what were the customs among the ruder classes of the british females during the elizabethan period, when all the writers agree in speaking of the indian women [among whom chastity was unknown] in this way. roger williams, for instance [who tells us that 'single fornications they count no sin'] also says, referring to their clothing,--'both men and women within doores, leave off their beasts skin, or english cloth, and so (excepting their little apron) are wholly naked; yet but few of the women but will keepe their skin or cloth (though loose) neare to them, ready to gather it up about them. custome hath used their minds and bodies to it, and in such a freedom from any wantonnesse that i have never seen that wantonnesse amongst them as (with griefe) i have heard of in europe' (_key_, - )."[ ] again, i recently came across the following, which illustrates somewhat curiously what may be called the social street amenities which a sojourner might expect to encounter in a large english town of a century ago. if ever there was a charming, innocent little woman, who, as a wife and mother, bore herself purely and courageously under circumstances of great trial and anxiety,--a woman whose own simple record of the strange experience through which she passed appeals to you so that you long to step forward and give her your arm and protect her,--if there ever was, i say, a woman who impresses one in this way more than mrs. general riedesel, i have not met her. mrs. riedesel, as the members of this society probably all know, followed her husband, who was in command of the german auxiliary troops in burgoyne's army, to america in , and in so doing passed through england, accompanied by her young children. here is her own account of a slight experience she had in bristol, where, the poor little woman says, "i discovered soon how unpleasant it is to be in a city where one does not understand the language, ... and wept for hours in my chamber":-- "during my sojourn in bristol i had an unpleasant adventure. i wore a calico dress trimmed with green taffeta. this seemed particularly offensive to the bristol people; for as i was one day out walking with madame foy more than a hundred sailors gathered round us and pointed at me with their fingers, at the same time crying out, 'french whore!' i took refuge as quickly as possible into the house of a merchant under pretense of buying something, and shortly after the crowd dispersed. but my dress became henceforth so disgusting to me, that as soon as i returned home i presented it to my cook, although it was yet entirely new."[ ] it was at bristol also that the little german woman, hardly more than a girl, describes how, the very day after her arrival there, her landlady called her attention to what the landlady in question termed "a most charming sight." stepping hastily to the window, mrs. riedesel says, "i beheld two naked men boxing with the greatest fury. i saw their blood flowing and the rage that was painted in their eyes. little accustomed to such a hateful spectacle, i quickly retreated into the innermost corner of the house to avoid hearing the shouts set up by the spectators whenever a blow was given or received." street customs, manners and language are, to a very considerable extent, outward exponents of the moral condition within. it would not be possible to find any place in europe now where women could be seen going about the streets in the condition as respects raiment which josselyn, winslow and roger williams seem to intimate was not unusual with the british females of their time; nor would a strumpet even, much less any decent woman, from a foreign land, be treated in the streets of any civilized city as madame riedesel describes herself as having been treated in the streets of bristol in . one cannot conceive of an adulterer or adulteress now doing public penance in a white sheet before a whole congregation assembled for the public worship of god, nor of a really respectable young married couple standing up under the same circumstances and confessing to the sin of fornication. even if such a thing were done, it would be looked upon as rather suggestive than edifying. all the evidence accordingly indicates that, morally, the improvement made in the nineteenth century as compared with those that preceded it has been more than superficial and in externals only,--that it has been real, in essentials as well as in language and manners. so, while it would not be safe to adopt burke's splendid generality, that vice has in our time lost half its evil in losing all its grossness, yet it is not unfair to adopt the trope in a modified form, and assert that, in the matter of sexual morality, vice in the nineteenth century as compared with the seventeenth or the eighteenth has lost some part of its evil in losing much of its grossness. footnotes: [ ] history of norfolk county, massachusetts, p. . [ ] in the rev. william p. lunt prepared and delivered before the first congregational church of quincy two most scholarly and admirable historical discourses on the celebration of the two hundredth anniversary of the gathering of the society. in the appendix to these discourses (p. ) dr. lunt states that the earlier records of the church had never been in the possession of either of its then ministers, the rev. peter whitney or himself; and he adds: "in a conversation with dr. harris, formerly the respected pastor of dorchester first congregational church, i understood him to say that mr. welde, formerly pastor of what is now braintree church, had these records in his possession; but when he obtained them, and for what purpose, was not explained. they are probably now irrecoverably lost. as curious and interesting relics of old times, their loss must be regretted." the extent of this loss is here stated by dr. lunt with great moderation. the records in question cover the history of the braintree church during the whole of the theocratic period in massachusetts; and, for reasons which will appear in my forthcoming history of quincy, the loss of these records causes not only an irreparable but a most serious break, so far as braintree is concerned, in the discussion of one of the most interesting of all the problems connected with the origin and development of the new england town, and system of town-government. there is room for hope that the missing volume may yet come to light. [ ] proc. mass. hist. soc., d series, vol. i. p. . [ ] "and if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." [ ] . "for i verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though i were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed. . "in the name of our lord jesus christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our lord jesus christ, . "to deliver such an one unto satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the lord jesus." [ ] ellis, the puritan age in massachusetts, - . [ ] " . to deliver such an one unto satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the lord jesus." [ ] trumbull's blue laws, true and false, p. . [ ] drake's history of middlesex county, vol. ii. p. . [ ] butler's history of groton, pp. , , . [ ] hutchinson's diary and letters, vol. i. p. . [ ] palfrey, vol. v. p. . [ ] a faithful narrative of the surprising work of god in the conversion of many hundred souls, &c., , pp. - . [ ] the rev. ebenezer gay, of hingham. [ ] lunt's two discourses, , p. . [ ] elliott's the new england history, vol. ii. p. . [ ] narrative, pp. , . [ ] to bundle. mr. grose thus describes this custom: "a man and woman lying on the same bed with their clothes on; an expedient practised in america, on account of a scarcity of beds, where, on such occasions, husbands and parents frequently permitted travellers to _bundle_ with their wives and daughters." (_dictionary of the vulgar tongue._) the rev. samuel peters, in his "general history of connecticut" (london, ), enters largely into the custom of bundling as practised there. he says: "notwithstanding the great modesty of the females is such, that it would be accounted the greatest rudeness for a gentleman to speak before a lady of a garter or leg, yet it is thought but a piece of civility to ask her to _bundle_." the learned and pious historian endeavors to prove that _bundling_ was not only a christian custom, but a very polite and prudent one. the rev. andrew barnaby, who travelled in new england in - , notices this custom, which then prevailed. he thinks that though it may at first "appear to be the effects of grossness of character, it will, upon deeper research, be found to proceed from simplicity and innocence." (_travels_, p. .) van corlear stopped occasionally in the villages to eat pumpkin-pies, dance at country frolics, and _bundle_ with the yankee lasses. (_knickerbocker, new york._) bundling is said to be practised in wales. whatever may have been the custom in former times, i do not think _bundling_ is now practised anywhere in the united states. mr. masson describes a similar custom in central asia: "many of the afghan tribes have a custom in wooing similar to what in wales is known as _bundling-up_, and which they term _namzat bazé_. the lover presents himself at the house of his betrothed, with a suitable gift, and in return is allowed to pass the night with her, on the understanding that innocent endearments are not to be exceeded." (_journeys in belochistan, afghanistan, &c._, vol. iii. p. .)--bartlett, _dictionary of americanisms_. [ ] knickerbocker's history of new york, book iii. chaps. vi., vii. [ ] elliott's the new england history, vol. i. p. . [ ] letters of mrs. adams, ( ,) p. . [ ] history, pp. - . [ ] braintree records, pp. , , , . [ ] see, also, proc. mass. hist. soc., d series, vol. iv. p. . [ ] letters and journals, p. . transcriber's notes: passages in italics are indicated by _italics_. superscripted characters are indicated by {superscript}. the original text includes several blank spaces. these are represented by ________ in this text version. sex and common-sense by a. maude royden assistant preacher at the city temple, london - to my friends a.j.s. and w.h.s. preface to american edition the nobility of the sex problem of all the problems which the alert and curious mind of modern man is considering, none occupies him more than that of the relations of the sexes. this is natural. it touches us all and we have made rather a mess of it! we want to know why, and we want to do better. we resent being the sport of circumstance and perhaps we are beginning to understand that this instinct of sex which has been so great a cause of suffering and shame and has been treated as a subject fit only for furtive whispers or silly jokes, is in fact one of the greatest powers in human nature, and that its misuse is indeed "the expense of spirit in a waste of shame." it is not the abnormal or the bizarre that interests most of us to-day. it is not into the by-ways of vice that we seek to penetrate. it is the normal exercise of a normal instinct by normal people that interests us: and it is of this that i have tried to write and speak. the curiosities of depravity are for the physician and the psychologist to discuss and cure. ordinary men and women want first to know how to live ordinary human lives on a higher level and after a nobler pattern than before. they want, i think,--and i want,--to grow up, but to grow rightly, beautifully, humanely. and i believe the first essential is to realize that the sex-problem, as it is called, is the problem of something noble, not something base. it is not a "disagreeable duty" to know our own natures and understand our own instincts: it is a joy. the sex-instinct is not "the fall of man"; neither is it an instance of divine wisdom on which moralists could, if they had only been consulted in time, greatly have improved. it is a thing noble in essence. it is the development of the higher, not the lower, creation. it is the asexual which is the lower, and the sexually differentiated which is the higher organism. in the humbler ranks of being there is no sex, and in a sense no death. the organism is immortal because--strange paradox--it is not yet alive enough to die. but as we pass from the lower to the higher, we pass from the less individual to the more individual; from asexual to sexual. and with this change comes that great rhythm by which life and death succeed each other, and death is the _cost_ of life, and to bring life into the world means sacrifice; and--as we rise higher still--to sustain life means prolonged and altruistic love. this is the history of sex and of procreation, a history associated with the rising of humanity in the scale of being, a history not so much of his physical as of his spiritual growth. by what an irony have we come to associate the instinct of sex with all that is bestial and shameful! it has happened because the corruption of the best is the worst. i always want to remind people of this truism when they have _first_ come into contact with sex in some horrible and shameful way. that is one of the greatest misfortunes that can happen to any of us, and unfortunately it happens to many. boys and girls are allowed to grow up in ignorance. the girls perhaps know nothing till they have to know all. the boys learn from grimy sources. i was speaking on this subject at one of our great universities the other day, and afterwards many of the men came and talked to me privately. with hardly a single exception they said to me--"our parents told us nothing. we have never heard sex spoken of except in a dirty way." it is difficult for us, in such a case, to realize that sex is not a dirty thing. it _can_ only be realized, i think, by remembering that the corruption of the best is the worst, and that we can measure by the hideousness of debased and depraved sexuality, the greatness and the wonder of sex love. this is to me the great teaching of christ about sex. other great religious teachers--some of them very great indeed--have thought and taught contemptuously of our animal nature. "he spake of the temple of his body." that is sublime! that is the whole secret. and that is why vice is horrible: because it is the desecration, not of a hovel or a shop, of a marketplace or a place of business: but of a temple. christ, i am told, told us nothing about sex. he did not need to tell us anything but "your body is the temple of the holy spirit." it is my belief that in appealing to an american public i shall be appealing to those who are ready to face the subject of the relations of the sexes with perfect frankness and with courage. america is still a country of experiments--a country adventurous enough to make experiments, and to risk making mistakes. that is the only spirit in which it is possible to make anything at all; and though the mistakes we may make in a matter which so deeply and tragically affects human life must be serious, and we must with corresponding seriousness weigh every word we say, and take the trouble to think harder and more honestly than we have perhaps ever thought before; yet i believe that we must above all have courage. human nature is sound and men and women do, on the whole, want to do what is right. the great impulse of sex is part of our very being, and it is not base. passion is essentially noble and those who are incapable of it are the weaker, not the stronger. if then we have light to direct our course, we shall learn to direct it wisely, for indeed this is our desire. such is my creed. my prayer is for "more light." and my desire to take my part in spreading it. a. maude royden. april, . preface to third english edition in the first editions of this book a certain passage on our lord's humanity (see p. ) has, i find, been misunderstood by some. they have supposed it to imply a suggestion that our lord was not only "tempted in all things like as we are"--which i firmly believe--but that he fell--which is to me unthinkable. i hope i have made this perfectly clear in the present edition. beyond this there are few alterations except the correction of some very abominable errors of style. the book still bears the impress of the speaker rather than the writer, and as such i must leave it. with regard to the chapter called "common-sense and divorce law reform," which now has been added to this edition, i wish to express my indebtedness to dr. jane walker and the group of "inquirers" over which she presided, for the memorandum on divorce which they drew up and published in the _challenge_, of july, . i am not in complete agreement with their views on all points, but readers of their memorandum will easily see whence i derived my view as a whole. a.m.r. _january_, . foreword chapters i. to vii. of this book were originally given in the form of addresses, in the kensington town hall, on successive sunday evenings in . they were taken down _verbatim_, but have been revised and even to some extent rewritten. i do not like reports in print of things spoken, for speaking and writing are two different arts, and what is right when it is spoken is almost inevitably wrong when it is written. (i refer, of course, to style, not matter.) if i had had time, i should have re-shaped what i have said, though it would have been the manner only and not the substance that would have been changed. this has been impossible, and i can therefore only explain that the defective form and the occasional repetition which the reader cannot fail to mark were forced upon me by the fact that i was speaking--not writing--and that i felt bound to make each address, as far as possible, complete and comprehensible in itself. chapters viii., ix., and x. were added later to meet various difficulties, questions, or criticisms evoked by the addresses which form the earlier part of the book. i desire to record my gratitude to mr. and mrs. douglas sladen, but for whose active help and encouragement i should hardly have proceeded with the book: to miss irene taylor, who, out of personal friendship for me, took down, sunday after sunday, all that i said, with an accuracy which, with a considerable experience of reporters, i have only once known equalled and never surpassed: and to my congregation, whose questions and speeches during the discussion that followed each address greatly helped my work. a. maude royden. _september_, . contents i.--the old problem intensified by the disproportion of the sexes ii.--a solution of the problem of the unmarried iii.--consideration of other solutions of the problem of the disproportion of the sexes iv.--the true basis of morality v.--the moral standard of the future: what should it be? vi.--a plea for light vii.--friendship viii.--misunderstandings ix.--further misunderstandings: the need for sex chivalry x.--"the sin of the bridegroom" xi.--common-sense and divorce law reform i the old problem intensified by the disproportion of the sexes "there has arisen in society, a figure which is certainly the most mournful, and in some respects the most awful, upon which the eye of the moralist can dwell. that unhappy being whose very name is a shame to speak; who counterfeits with a cold heart the transports of affection, and submits herself as the passive instrument of lust; who is scorned and insulted as the vilest of her sex, and doomed for the most part to disease and abject wretchedness and an early death, appears in every eye as the perpetual symbol of the degradation and sinfulness of man. herself the supreme type of vice, she is ultimately the most efficient guardian of virtue. but for her the unchallenged purity of countless happy homes would be polluted, and not a few who, in the pride of their untempted chastity, think of her with an indignant shudder, would have known the agony of remorse and despair. she remains while creeds and civilisations rise and fall, the eternal priestess of humanity, blasted for the sins of the people." lecky's _history of european morals_, chap. v. one of the many problems which have been intensified by the war is the problem of the relations of the sexes. difficult as it has always been, the difficulty inevitably becomes greater when there is a grave disproportion--an excess in numbers of one sex over the other. and in this country, whereas there was a disproportion of something like a million more women than men before the war broke out, there is now a disproportion of about one and three-quarter millions. this accidental and (i believe) temporary difficulty--a difficulty not "natural" and necessary to human life, but artificial and peculiar to certain conditions which may be altered--does not, of course, create the problem we have to deal with: but it forces that problem on our attention by sheer force of suffering inflicted on so large a scale. it compels us to ask ourselves on what we base, and at what we value the moral standard which, if it is to be preserved, must mean a tremendous sacrifice on the part of so large a number of women as is involved in their acceptance of life-long celibacy. there is no subject on which it is more difficult to find a common ground than this. to some people it seems to be immoral even to ask the question--on what are your moral standards based? to others what we call our "moral standards" are so obviously absurd and "unnatural" that the question has for them no meaning. and between these extremes there are so many varieties of opinion that one can take nothing as generally accepted by men and women. i want, therefore, to leave aside the ordinary conventions--not because they are necessarily bad, but because they are not to my purpose, which is to discover whether there is a real morality which we can justify to ourselves without appeal to any authority however great, or to any tradition however highly esteemed: a morality which is based on the real needs, the real aspirations of humanity itself. and i begin by calling your attention to the morality of jesus of nazareth, not because he is divine, but because he was a great master of the human heart, and more than others "knew what was in man." you will notice at once the height of his morality--the depth of his mercy. he demands such purity of spirit, such loyalty of heart, that the most loyal of his disciples shrank appalled: "whosoever shall look upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." ... "whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another, committeth adultery against her." from such a standard christ's disciples shrank--"if the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry." and one evangelist almost certainly inserted in this absolute prohibition the exception--"saving for the cause of fornication"--feeling that the master _could_ not have meant anything else. but, in fact, there is little doubt that jesus did both say and mean that marriage demanded lifelong fidelity on either side; just as he really taught that a lustful thought was adultery in the sight of god. but if christendom has been staggered at the austerity of christ's morality not less has it been shocked at the quality of his mercy. his gentleness to the sensual sinner has been compared, with amazement, to the sternness of his attitude to the sins of the spirit. not the profligate or the harlot but the pharisee and the scribe were those who provoked his sternest rebukes. and perhaps the most characteristic of all his dealings with such matters was that incident of the woman taken in adultery, when he at once reaffirmed the need of absolute chastity for men--demand undreamed of by the woman's accusers--and put aside the right to condemn which in all that assembly he alone could claim--"neither do i condemn thee; go, and sin no more." having then in mind this most lofty and compassionate of moralists, let us turn to the problem of to-day. here are nearly , , women who, if the austere demands of faithful monogamy are to be obeyed, will never know the satisfaction of a certain physical need. now it is the desire of every normal human being to satisfy all his instincts. and this is as true of women as of men. what i have to say applies indeed to many men to-day, for many men are unable to marry because they have been so broken by war--or otherwise--so shattered or maimed or impoverished that they do not feel justified in marrying. but i want to emphasize with all my power that the hardness of enforced celibacy presses as cruelly on women as on men. women, difficult as some people find it to believe, are human beings; and because women are so, they want work, and interest, and love--both given and received--and children, and, in short, the satisfaction of every _human_ need. the idea that existence is enough for them--that they need not work, and do not suffer if their sex instincts are repressed or starved--is a convenient but most cruel illusion. people often tell me, and nearly always unconsciously _assume_, that women have no sex hunger--no sex needs at all until they marry, and that even then their need is not at all so imperious as men's, or so hard to repress. such people are nearly always either men, or women who have married young and happily and borne many children, and had a very full and interesting outside life as well! such women will assure me with the utmost complacency that the sex-instincts of a woman are very easily controllable, and that it is preposterous to speak as if their repression really cost very much. i think with bitterness of that age-long repression, of its unmeasured cost; of the gibe contained in the phrase "old maid," with all its implication of a narrowed life, a prudish mind, an acrid tongue, an embittered disposition. i think of the imbecilities in which the repressed instinct has sought its pitiful baffled release, of the adulation lavished on a parrot, a cat, a lap-dog; or of the emotional "religion," the parson-worship, on which every fool is clever enough to sharpen his wit. and all these cramped and stultified lives have not availed to make the world understand that women have had to pay for their celibacy! "the toad beneath the harrow knows exactly where each tooth-point goes. the butterfly beside the road preaches contentment to that toad." modern psychology is lifting the veil to-day from the suffering which repression causes. it is a pity that its most brilliant exponents should ascribe to a single instinct--however potent--_all_ the ills that afflict mankind, for such one-sidedness defeats its own object; but, at least, the modern psychologist is trying to show us "exactly where each tooth-point goes" in the repression of the sex-instinct among women as among men. nor does the fact that the _tabu_ of society has actually in many cases enabled a woman to inhibit the development of her own nature, obviate the fact that she does so at great cost, even when she least understands what she does. i affirm this, and with insistence, that the normal--the average--woman sacrifices a great deal if she accepts life-long celibacy. she sacrifices quite as much as a man. in those cases--too frequent even now--where she is not educated or expected to earn her own living or to have a career, i maintain that she loses more than a man who is expected to work. i do not say, and i do not believe, that passion in a woman is the same as in a man, or that they suffer in precisely the same way. i believe indeed that if men and women understood each other a little better they would hurt each other a good deal less. but i am persuaded that we shall not even begin to reach a wise morality so long as we persist in basing our demands on the imbecile assumption that women suffer nothing or little by the unsatisfaction of the sex side of their nature. i emphasize this point here, because it is involved in the present state of affairs. i have reminded you that there are nearly , , women whose lives are to be considered. if the number were quite small, it might comfortably be assumed that the women who remained unmarried were those who, in any case, had no vocation for marriage. for it is, of course, true that there are such women, as there are such men. the normal man and woman desire marriage and parenthood, and are fitted for it; but there are always exceptions who either do not desire it, or, desiring it, feel bound to put it aside at the call of some other vocation, which they feel to be supremely theirs, and which is not compatible with marriage. they sacrifice; but they do so joyfully, not for repression, but for a different life, another vocation. and where the number of the unmarried is small, it may without essential injustice be supposed that these are the natural celibates. but you cannot suppose that of , , ! among the number how many are young widows, girls engaged to marry men now dead, and how many whose _natural_ vocation was marriage, motherhood, home-making, and all that is meant by such things as these? if this be the normal vocation of the normal woman how many of these have been deprived of all that seemed to them to make life worth living? is it astonishing if they rebel? if they determine to snatch at anything that yet lies in their grasp? if they affirm "the right to motherhood" when they want children, or the satisfaction of the sex-instinct when that need becomes imperious? if we are to say to such women--"the normal life is denied to you, not by your fault, or because you do not need it, but because we have unfortunately been obliged to sacrifice in war the men who should have been your mates: and we now invite you in the interests of morality to accept as your lot perpetual virginity"--it is not difficult to imagine their reply: "what is this morality in whose interests you ask so huge a sacrifice? is it worth such a price? is the whole community willing to pay it, or is it exacted from us alone? and on what, in the end, is it based?" the answer to this question is often given to the young, even before the question arises; and it is given in the lives of men and women. the lives of those who are nobly celibate, or nobly married, are in themselves so moving a plea, that few who have been closely in contact with them are left untouched. it is the ideal realized that is the best defence of the ideal. but let us admit that, too often, the actual marriage is a very pitiful comment on our morality, and celibacy either a mere pretence or a very mean and pinched reality. what answer then shall we give to the rising generation which questions us--"on what do you base your moral standards?" i do not doubt that i am voicing the experience of many if i say that when i first began to ask such questions i met first of all with extreme horror at such a question being put at all; and that, when i persisted, i found that it was almost entirely by women that the cost was to be borne. women were to conform strictly to the moral standard (whose basis i was not questioning), but men need not and, generally speaking, did not. i reasoned that if men need not be chaste there must exist at least a certain number of women who _could_ not be so, and that this reduced "morality" to a farce. i soon found that it was not a farce but a tragedy. these women were admittedly necessary but outcast. they were the safeguards of the rest. i wish that men would try for a moment to put themselves in the place of a young girl who learns for the first time that prostitution is the safeguard of the virtuous! i think that they would never again wonder at the rejection of such "moral standards" by the rising generation of women. you would only wonder why women had tolerated such a combination of folly and cruelty so long. you would not ask them to accept or to suffer for a "standard" like that. again, this morality for which (it is affirmed) society is prepared to pay so horrible a price--what is it? a physical condition! a state of body, which any man can destroy! an "honour" which lies at the mercy of a ruffian! a woman raped is a woman "dishonoured." are her "morals" then at the mercy of another person? is "morality" not a state of mind or of will, a spiritual passion for purity, but a material, physical thing which is only hers as long as no one snatches it from her? how senseless! how false! when you ask a woman to-day to make the great sacrifice "in the interests of morality," you must offer her a morality that _is_ moral--a morality whose justice and humanity move her to a response; not a morality which offends every instinct of justice and reality the moment the person to whom it is offered understands what it means. for what is asked to-day is too often that women should sacrifice themselves for the convenience of other people--of a hypocritical society which preaches a morality as senseless as it is base. when older people tell me that the young seem to have "no morals at all," i ask myself whether the repudiation of much that has been called morality was not, after all, a necessity, if we are to advance at all. when i reflect on, for example, lecky's "history of european morals," and remember that it was not a profligate or a hedonist, but an honourable and respectable member of a civilized society, who proclaimed the prostitute the high priestess of humanity--the protectress of the purity of a thousand homes[a]--i am prepared to say that to have "no morals at all" is better than to accept such infamy and _call_ it "morals"; as it is better to be an agnostic or an atheist than to worship a devil--to have no standard than to say: "evil be thou my good." [footnote a: lecky's "history of european morals." chap. v.] and i believe that the tendency to reject all moral standards is largely due to the refusal of an older generation to examine and to justify its own standard. to refuse to discuss or defend it--to affirm that it is beyond debate and not to be questioned without depravity is merely to produce the impression that it is beyond defence and impossible to justify. it is not surprising that people begin to say: "let us eat and drink, for to-morrow we die. let us experience all we desire. let us act like the normal healthy creatures that we are. let us ignore the flimsy barriers a corrupt and imbecile moral code would erect between us and what we desire." that is the point of view of many men and women to-day. that is what the absence of a just and reasoned moral code has led to. and i am prepared, in spite of all protests, to affirm that it is not a step backward, but forward; that promiscuity is not as vile as prostitution--a prostitution which has been accepted, which has been _defended_ by christian people! it is less horrible for a human being to have the morals of an animal than the morals of a devil. we have to begin by rejecting the morality of fiends, and we begin, even if the immediate effect is more terrifying to the moralist than the old hidden-up devilry that lent itself to an easier disguise. so i believe. and so the present chaos, though it has its elements of anxiety and its obvious dangers, leaves me unafraid. i am utterly persuaded that we shall win through to solid ground. i believe that the long groping of humanity after a sex-relationship which shall be stable, equal, passionate, disciplined, pure, is the groping of a right instinct, the hunger of a real need; and that we must--we shall--find its answer. with many failures, with many reactions, it can, i think, be seen, as history unrolls its record and civilizations rise and fall, that the movement of humanity has been towards a more stable, a more responsible, a more disciplined, but not less passionate form of relationship between men and women. let us not forget that great and pregnant fact when we reject the immoral arguments, the cruelties and injustices, with which society has sought either to justify its ideals or to conceal its horrible failures. for if we can thus distinguish, and go forward, this generation will not have suffered in vain. it will, on the contrary, make of its suffering the spur which shall force us all onward and upward. it will by its courage and its honesty give to the world a truer and a nobler moral standard than the world has ever accepted yet. ii a solution of the problem of the unmarried jesus said, "the foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the son of man hath not where to lay his head." (st. luke ix. .) in the last chapter i tried to deal with the actual problem created in this country by the disproportion of the sexes--the fact that there are, roughly, one and three-quarters to two million more women than men in this country; and i was obliged to confine myself simply to stating the problem, which, to my mind, is very greatly intensified by the fact, generally ignored, that the sex needs of a woman are just as imperative, their suppression just as hard to bear, as a man's; that woman is fully as human as man, and that parenthood and loverhood and all that the satisfaction of the sex instinct means to him, it means also to her. i do not affirm that the difficulty of self-control or the suffering of abstinence presents itself to men and women in just the same way; i am sure it does not. i do not under-estimate the difference. but i do emphasize the fact that, as far as i am able to judge, the suffering is _equal_, although it is different in character. therefore, the denial of marriage to a very large number of women means that, although some women, like some men, are naturally celibate, when so great a number of women are denied the possibility of marriage, we must take it for granted that among them the average will not be natural celibates, but women who suffer a very great loss if they do not marry. now i want to add that this disproportion of the sexes is quite artificial, and, therefore, should be temporary. from some of the letters i have received i gather that people imagine that there has always been a very much larger number of women than men, and not only in this country, but throughout the world; and that, therefore, we ought to shape our customs and our moral standards with this disproportion in mind as a permanent fact. i want to point out that this is not the case. the causes of the present excess of women over men in this country are quite artificial. as a matter of fact, there are more boys born in this country than girls--about to is the ratio--but the boys die in very much larger numbers during the first twelve months of their life, because they are more difficult to rear in bad conditions. but bad conditions are not inevitable! these babies die from preventable causes. it is not within the providence of god that these children _must_ die, nor is it a necessity of human nature. it is due to preventable causes, and is, therefore, as i say, artificial. again, we have a very large empire, stretching out to the remoter parts of the world, and to that empire men go out in very much larger numbers than women, so that the disproportion here is, in part, the reverse side of the disproportion in the great overseas dominions, where there are more men than women. but that, too, is a purely artificial and temporary state of things, which has nothing to do with the fundamental conditions of human society. finally, of course, there is the war, which again creates an artificial state of affairs, by killing enormous numbers of young men, just at the age--between twenty and forty or forty-five--when they should be growing into manhood, and becoming husbands and fathers. that again is artificial. the reason why i emphasize this is because i feel very strongly that we must not remodel our whole society, and recreate our moral standards, to meet a passing and an artificial state of affairs. that is my answer to those who seem to think the solution of all our difficulties is to be found in the adoption of polygamy. now polygamy is a perfectly respectable institution in a large number of countries. it is quite an old idea. it has not occurred to people for the first time between last sunday and to-day. it has been discussed in the sunday newspapers, which are the most widely read of any papers issued by the press. my answer to it is that such an expedient would be just an instance of this remodelling of your whole moral standard to meet an entirely artificial state of affairs. polygamy is not possible and never has been possible on a great scale, because in hardly any country, certainly not in the world as a whole, is there a great disproportion of the sexes under ordinary circumstances. the idea most people appear to have about it is that in some parts of the world, like india and china, every man is blessed with three or four wives. it is a perfectly fantastic picture. the balance of the sexes--on the whole--is equal. it is, therefore, a physical impossibility for polygamy to be a universal custom. it cannot be practised, and has never been practised, except among the rich--a small class always. now that surely makes it obvious that it is not a real solution. it might meet a temporary difficulty; but is it reasonable, is it statesmanlike, to alter our entire moral standard merely to tide over a temporary difficulty; to meet a state of affairs which is purely artificial? i think that morals go deeper, and should be based on some fundamental need, rather than on a purely artificial need created by a passing difficulty, however great that difficulty may be at the time. i do not, therefore, wish to dwell on other better but temporary solutions, such as emigration. i do think that this is a solution which would ease the situation to some extent, and in a normal and right way, because the disproportion in the overseas dominions, where the balance is the other way, and there are more men than women, is every whit as unwholesome and as disastrous as is the disproportion of women in this country. consequently, from the point of view of both men and women, i think that emigration is a thing that ought to be considered and helped forward very much more than it is; but there, again, this is only a temporary solution. we are trying to arrive at some moral position which is based on the permanent needs and the real nature of human beings. it has become almost a habit with me to feel that the real solution of every problem can be found, by those people who are hurt by it, if they will take hold of life _where it hurts_, and find out, not how they themselves can escape from that hurt, but how they can prevent that hurt from becoming a permanent factor in the lives of their brothers and sisters. now, the point at which this problem hurts many of us lies in this, that women have been taught, by a curious paradox, first of all that they ought not to have any sexual feeling, any hunger, any appetite at all on that side of their natures; and secondly, that they exist solely to meet that particular physical need in men. the idea that woman was created, not like man, for the glory of god, but for the convenience of man, has greatly embittered and poisoned public opinion on this subject. women are taught, almost from the moment they come into the world, that their chief end in existence is to be, in some way or other, a "helpmeet" for man. i remember, in the early days of the suffrage struggle, hearing people, and women quite as often as men--more often i think--urging certain rights and principles for women, on the ground that they were meant to be the helpmeets of man. they used to quote the earlier chapters of the book of genesis to show that women were created for that purpose; and it was considered a very lofty kind of appeal. i think it never failed to evoke the applause of those whom you will forgive my calling a little sentimental. i do not think it ever failed to arouse in myself a deep sense of resentment. the writer of the _first_ chapter of the book of genesis speaks of humanity as being created in the image and likeness of god, "_male and female created he them_"; there is no suggestion here that one sex was simply to be the servant of the other. that occurs in the second chapter. the idea is persistent; it is, of course, much older than the old testament. and it persists right into the new testament, where you hear a man of the intellectual and spiritual calibre of st. paul affirm that man was made for god, but woman was made for man. down the ages this message has come, and women have been taught to consider themselves, and men to consider them, as primarily instruments of sex, of marriage and motherhood, or of other forms of serving men's needs. you do not find that feeling in christ's attitude towards women. when people speak as though it were one of the weaknesses of christianity that it appeals, or seems to appeal, more to women than to men, i ask you to believe that sometimes consciously, often quite unconsciously, women respond with passionate gratitude to christ, because of his sublime teaching that every human soul was made for god, and that no part or section of society, no race, no class, and no sex, was made for the convenience of another. i want then to combat with all my power this ancient but un-christlike belief that women miss their object in life if they are not wives and mothers. it may seem something of a contradiction that i should in a previous chapter so have emphasized the need of women for the satisfaction of their sexual nature, and now be arguing that we must not assume that they have no right to exist if they do _not_ meet this particular satisfaction; but i think you will realize that it is not a paradox when i ask you to consider for a moment what your attitude to men on this subject is. many people hold that a man's passions are a tremendous factor in his existence, so strong that he must always be forgiven if he cannot control them; so strong that, on the whole, it is hardly to be expected that he should control them. but yet, if a man does not marry, or if there are more men than women in a certain country--as, for instance, in australia, or western canada to-day--nobody speaks of those men as though they were "superfluous," as though they had ceased to have any real object for existence. people will realize that it is a hardship--a very great hardship--in their lives; they will be apt to excuse them for taking what they can get if they cannot get everything; but no human being talks of the "superfluous men" in any of our great dominions. people always realize that a man has a _human_ value, and that, however great the urgency of the sex side of him, he still is a human being, he still has his value in the world, even supposing that he should live and die celibate. if you will try to put your mind into that attitude towards women, you will, i think, see that it is not a paradox to say that a woman may and does suffer if she does not fulfil the whole of her nature, and yet that it is a monstrous fallacy to affirm that, because of that, she ceases to have any reason for existence; that she is a futile life, a person who does not really "count." sex is a great and a mighty power, but it is something more than the mere satisfaction of a physical need. it is part of the great rhythm of life, running through all the higher creation; it is the instinct to create, going forth in the power of love, proving to us day by day that only love can create, bringing us nearer to the divine power, who is love, and who created the heaven and the earth. in spite of our horrible thoughts about sex, our hideous sins against it, i do not think that in anything god has made man more "in his image and likeness" than when he gave him the power, through love, to create life. that is a power that makes us akin to god himself, and the instinct of sex is not a grimy secret between two rather shamed human beings, but a great impulse of life and love--yes, even, at the height of it, an instinct to sacrifice in order that life may come into the world; it is a great bond of union between human beings; it is the secret of existence, the secret of the meaning of life; that which is to the nature of man like the sense of music to the musician, of beauty to the artist, of insight to the poet. a man may have no ear for music, and yet be a good and noble man; but who will deny that he lacks something because he has it not? a man may have no sense of beauty, but he is not, therefore, a depraved, immoral person; yet does he not stand outside some of the great secrets of life? so, when this still deeper instinct of creative love is not yours, do not congratulate yourselves, or pride yourselves that you have never felt it. for it means that you stand outside the great communion of the life of the world; it means that for you some of the music of the universe is dumb, and some of the beauty of the universe dark. yet how long have women been taught that this divine impulse of creation is something base! base even in a man, belonging to his lower nature; still more deplorable in a woman, a thing to be ashamed of, a thing to crush down and suppress, a thing you would not confess to your nearest friends, or discuss with your physician. to speak of it even to your own mother would be to be met with the averted look and word of disapproval. if, as a consequence of this, women have inhibited their own nature, so that many women have created in their minds a kind of tone-deafness, a colour-blindness to this side of life, does that not seem to you a tragedy? to have so great and wonderful a thing in your nature and to suppress it as though it were something shameful and weak? do you wonder if the term "old maid" has become synonym for everything that is narrow, and hard, and prudish and repressive? do you wonder that the girls of this generation, confronted with the choice between such an attitude towards life as that, and its opposite--willingness to give oneself to anyone, to take all that one can get, because life refuses so much that one had hoped for--do you wonder that they often choose the second alternative? does it seem to you so astonishing that girls, who think more than they used to, who feel that there is nothing to be ashamed of in the divine impulse of their creative womanhood, should rather take what they can get than accept that cruel, cramped attitude of sheer repression which has been all too often their only choice in the past? is it really fair to say to them that their moral standards are going down, that they have no sense now of morality or self-respect? i tell you that if one has to make a choice between the suppression of one half--and that so beautiful a half--of human nature, and its degradation, i would not sit in judgment on those who chose either way. but there is another possibility. you can repress, and god knows how many boys and young men, how many young women and girls have struggled to do so, and are trying to do so to-day, with a sense always of guilt and shame in their minds, laying up mental difficulties for themselves, the psychologists tell us, by this repression. you know the type; you know the kind of person who becomes hard and narrow and uncomprehending. that is one type. you can read it in their faces. the pinched look, the cramped mentality reflects itself in the body and in the face. and then there is the other type, those who have rejected this attitude towards life, denying that there is anything to be ashamed of in the natural impulse of their sex, or cause for regret if they give rein to that whose repression does so much harm, who frankly fling away the idea of self-control, because repression has seemed such a disastrous method of self-control. you can see it in their faces also; in the gradual demoralization of their nature. the rake on one hand, the prude on the other, represent the ultimate consequence of the process i am trying to describe. many people have marked on their souls, if not on their faces, one or other of these ways of life. they have not, perhaps, gone far, they may have gone but a little way in one direction or the other; but the mark on the soul remains all the same. and when you see the extreme result, the prude on one side, the rake on the other, do you not begin to desire a better way? to ask yourself whether there is not a third choice before you? i believe there is; and the choice is this: it is neither the repression nor the degradation, but _transformation_ of the sex side of our nature. i will take as the supreme example of that transformation the figure of christ himself--christ who had neither wife nor child--st. francis of assisi, st. catherine of siena, st. theresa of spain. four of the greatest figures--one of them supreme--who were not "natural celibates" in the sense that implies that they did not have surging through them the divine impulse of creative love; for these are the greatest lovers the world has ever seen, and compared with theirs even the great love of one man for one woman, one woman for one man, is the lesser thing. but these great figures in human history are those on whose hearts humanity itself made such a claim that it became impossible for them to give to one what was claimed by all the world. you will see that this is not a denial of creative love, for no one in the world has so loved the world as these. they are the beacons of humanity in this matter of love, and how are they, shall we say, how are they not fathers and mothers, whose spiritual children are all over the world? have they not born into the world with travail of soul, the souls of men and women? these great lovers of humanity were not lacking in passion; had they been they could not have moved the world; but their passion was transmuted to the service of humanity itself, for nothing else was great or wide enough for such a love. does anyone suppose that it was a mere instinct of asceticism that drove st. francis to make out of snow, cold images of wife and child? was it not rather the sudden resurgent desire of the greatest of the saints for some more humanly warm affection, something more individual, something that nestles more closely to the heart, than this great service of humanity? and in a savage irony he mocks his pain. "there are thy children, there is thy wife," says st. francis, and his cry is not the answer of the spirit to a lustful temptation: it was the cry of a lonely human heart for the human happiness of wife and children and home. aye, and i would claim that our lord himself had this desire. for i cannot doubt that in that glorious young manhood of his, so full of power and sympathy and love, this agony of longing sometimes swept over him. he whose vitality and power were such that he hardly knew fatigue, who was so close a friend, so much loved and sought by women, so tender to little children, so young, so strong--is it not certain that he was indeed "tempted in all things like as we are"? how could one so physically vital, so humanly and divinely full of love, escape the conflict? that he conquered we know; that he suffered we cannot doubt. all his perfect humanity speaks to us in that lonely cry: "the foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the son of man hath not where to lay his head." do not dream, those of you who may have to struggle with your own nature, do not dream that christ has not been there with you, that he had nothing to feel or to suffer. how would he have developed that spiritual power, how would he have become so great a lover of the world if he knew nothing of that side of life? but he, and his greatest followers--st. francis of assisi, st. catherine and st. theresa, and countless others who have followed them--learned to transmute that great creative force, disdained both choices which i set before you, finding a nobler and more glorious way. these would neither repress this great impulse, nor dissipate it, but so used it for the service of man that there is in all the history of man no life more rich, more human, more full of love, more full of creation, or more full of power, than the lives of these celibate men and women, who learned from christ how they could live and love. it is not easy for men and women this way, but it is possible. it is possible, and it is glorious; and, in its degree, the need for it comes to everyone. do not imagine that it is not needed in marriage as well as out of marriage. every married lover will tell you that if his love is to remain what it was in the beginning--if it is rather to grow in power and beauty--he also must be able gradually to transmute his love in such a way that the spirit dominates the flesh more and more, and that the physical side of marriage becomes simply an expression of the love of the spirit, the perfect final expression, the sacrament of love. do not imagine that this is not needed, this effort, and this power, by every human being who desires to be human in his love, and not something less than human. and to those to whom the need comes in its sternest form, i will not pretend for a moment that it is not hard. nay, i will prophesy to you that if you do so choose to serve the world, it will to all of you sometimes seem too hard. with christ, with st. francis, your human nature will sometimes assert itself. "the foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the son of man"--the servant of humanity--has no such joy. but of whatever life you choose, that is sometimes true. to the finest spirit in marriage there comes sometimes the thought that, but for this great claim, he might have undertaken some adventure, might have answered some call, which now he cannot answer. does that mean that he regrets his choice? no, not for a moment! it only means that human nature is so rich and so varied that whatever life you forego will sometimes seem to you the better choice. you will think, for a moment, that you might have chosen differently. if that happened to st. francis, believe me, it will happen to you. but yet, is it not a heroic path that i point out to you? is it not possible that to this generation heroism may be possible in such a way, on such a scale, that you will leave this world nobler in moral stature because of the hardness which you endured, the choice that you made? women, to whom this comes home specially at this time, may it not be that you, by taking this way, will become the mothers in spirit of women in a happier generation, on whom will never again be imposed our cramped, stifling, sub-human conception of what women ought to be? you will show to the world not only that the individual woman of genius may have a value to humanity beyond her sex, but that every woman has that value. in solving your own problem, and taking hold of life where most it hurts you, you will end by making a moral standard nobler, a humanity richer and more human, a womanhood freer, greater, more christlike than it was. and future generations shall rise up and call you blessed. iii consideration of other solutions of the problem of the disproportion of the sexes "my spirit's bark is driven far from the shore, far from the trembling throng whose sails were never to the tempest given." shelley: "adonais." let us now move away from that aspect of the moral problem which has concerned us hitherto--that of the difficulties created by the disproportion of the sexes at this time and in this country--and consider the problem as it presents itself under more normal conditions. for even in ages and in countries where there are an equal number of men and women there are difficulties in their relations with one another, and a "moral problem." people ask, for example, whether sex-relationships should be governed by law at all; whether they should continue in any given case when passion has died, or when love (which is more than passion) has gone. should love ever be other than perfectly free, and is not the attempt to bind it essentially "immoral"? should it ever be exclusive or proprietary? is not the "moral problem" really created, not by human nature, but by the attempt to bind what cannot be bound and to coerce what should be free? the answer given to such questions is often to-day on the side of what is called, mistakenly, i think, "free love." and in considering this answer, i want to remind you that it is often given by people who are most sincere, most idealistic, in their own lives and in their own love. indeed it has often been pointed out that it is at times of great spiritual exaltation and fervour that the cult of "free love" is most likely to find adherents. the great principle that "love is the fulfilling of the law" is held with a fervour which makes any question as to what love is, and how much it involves, seem half-hearted and cold. those who preach this doctrine remind us--and very justly--of the weakness and insincerity of the "orthodox" moral standard, whether it is enforced by law or by custom. they revolt against the proprietary and possessive view of marriage as giving a woman "a hold over her husband" when he has "grown tired of her," or as justifying a man in enforcing upon his wife the rights which only love makes right, when she has grown tired of him. i appeal, therefore, to those to whom the dispassionate discussion of "free love" seems quite outrageous, to remember that there are those to whom this teaching is _not_ a mere excuse for licence, but an attempt to reach something lovelier and nobler than the present moral code, whose failures and insincerities no thinking person can ignore. in considering this view, i want first to point out that although to have no legal or enforceable tie in sex-relationships seems on the surface much the simplest and easiest way to arrange life, although permanent monogamous marriage is exceedingly difficult and inconvenient, yet the movement of humanity does seem to have been on the whole in that direction. it is, of course, untrue to say that among primitive peoples there is anything that can fairly be called promiscuity. historians and anthropologists have taught us that among all peoples, however barbarous, there are conventions, sanctions, tabus, by which the relations of men and women are regulated. the customs of such people may seem to us mere licence; but they are not so. and some of the customs of more "civilized" countries are at least as horrifying to the "savage" as his can be to us. nevertheless, it is true to say that as civilization advances, and especially where the position of women improves, the movement has been towards a more stable and exclusive form of marriage. we grope uncertainly towards it: we fail atrociously. yet we do not abandon an ideal which asks so much of human nature that human nature is continually invoked to prove its impossibility. why have we persisted? it is idle to speak of monogamy as though it were a senseless rule imposed on unfortunate humanity by some all-powerful superman. we have imposed it on ourselves. it is our doing. why have we done it? surely because, in spite of its alleged "impossibility," its obvious inconveniences, there is some need in human nature which demands a permanent and a stable sex relationship to meet it. i believe that there is something in our human nature which desires stability in its relations with other human beings. it is perhaps a recognition of the fact that, though we live in time and suffer its conditions, we are immortal also and chafe under too strict a bondage to time. our relations with other human beings ought not to be evanescent! there is something cheap and shoddy in the giving and taking of human personality on such easy soon-forgotten terms. it is not only in sexual relations that this is true. it is true of all human intercourse. the longer care and devotion of human parents for their offspring is not a physical only, but a spiritual necessity: and it is bound up with the greater faithfulness of human lovers. in parenthood, in loverhood, in friendship, those who take their obligations lightly are not the finer sort of men and women, but the slighter, cheaper make. it is not a love of freedom but a certain inferiority and shoddiness that makes it possible for us to give ourselves, and take others, lightly. for in all human relationships it is "ourselves" that we give and take. it is not what your friend does for you or gives to you that makes him your friend; but what he _is_ to you. it is his personality that you have shared. and so there is something rather repulsive in quickly forgetting or throwing it away. people who make friends and lose them as the trees put out their leaves in spring to shed them in the autumn, are not quite human. the capacity to make friends--to make many friends--is a great power: the capacity to lose them not so admirable. yet there are people who always have a bosom-friend, every time you meet them; only it is never the same friend. and this is a poor sort of friendship, for it _is_ poor to give and take so little that you easily cease or forget to give at all. if this is true of friends, it is not less true of lovers: it is more true. for sex-love includes more of one's personality, it more completely involves body, soul and spirit, is the most perfect form of union that human beings know. how strange, then, to argue that one may treat a lover as one would not treat a friend! make one and lose one so lightly, and disavow all the responsibility of a love in which so much is given, so much involved! it is true that all human love has a physical element, even if it is only the desire for the physical presence of the beloved one. we all want sometimes to see and to touch our friends. but in sex-love that physical element becomes a desire for perfect union, expressing a spiritual harmony. can one take such a gift lightly, and pass from one relationship to another with a readiness which would seem contemptible in a friend? it is this holding of human personality cheap that is really immoral, really dishonest: for it is not cheap. it is this which makes prostitution a horror, and prostitutes the ishmaels of their race. they "sell cheap what is most dear," and, knowing this, rage against their buyers. the hideously demoralizing effect of a life of prostitution on the soul is a commonplace. "these women," it has been said, "sink so low that they cease to know what love is, they cease to be able to give. they can only cheat and steal and sell." it is true. whatever virtues of kindliness and pity the prostitute may (and often does) have for other unfortunates and outcasts, her attitude in general does become that of the parasite, the swindler, the vampire. why? because on her the deepest outrage against human personality is committed. without a shadow of claim, without a pretence of offering its equivalent, that, in her, is bought and sold which is beyond price. why should she not cheat and thieve? take all she can, she cannot get the true value of what has been bought from her. does she reason all that out? more often than we think. but whether she reasons consciously or not, she knows she has been defrauded: and she defrauds. but it is the buying and selling, i shall be told, that makes her so vile: between such a sale and the free gift of lovers lies the whole difference between morality and immorality. i do not think so. it is the contemptuous use of another which is immoral, and though actually to buy and sell the person is the lowest depth of immorality, because it is the lowest and most brutal expression of such contempt, any lightness or irreverence is "immoral" in its degree; so therefore is conduct which makes love an evanescent thing, or the giving of personality which love involves, a passing emotion. if we feel this to be so in friendship, surely it is more and not less true of a union so complete on every plane as that of sex. can you take that--and give it--and pass on, as though it were a light thing? the desire for permanence, for stability, for trustworthiness lies very deep in human nature. we may--we do--rebel against it, and speak with rapture of an unfettered existence without material ties: but even in material things the nomad is the least creative, the least civilized of his kind. his existence is neither so picturesque nor so human as we imagine. one has only to read history to see how little he has contributed to humanity--and how little he has helped to raise the human level above the animal. it is not for nothing that we find the home imposed upon human kind by the necessities of human infancy. it is the helplessness of the child that has humanized our species by creating the home which its helplessness demanded, and though a great deal that is sentimental is said about homes, this remains a fact. the nomadic, the homeless race gives little to the world; it is by nature and circumstances an exploiter of resources for which it feels no responsibility, from which it is content to take without giving. reading in a pamphlet of professor toynbee's the other day, i found this description of the eastern world in the th and th centuries of our era:--"even when the east began to recover and comparatively stable moslem states arose again in turkey and persia and hindustan, _the nomadic taint was in them and condemned them to sterility_.... one gets the impression not of a government administering a country, but of _a horde of nomads exploiting it_."[b] [footnote b: the italics are mine.--a.m.r.] even so is it with human love. these nomads of the affections give and take so little as they pass from hand to hand that they become cheap and have little left to give at last: nor do they really get what they would take. men and women claim the right to "experience," but experience of what? we do not live by bread alone, and the physical experience is not really all we seek. it is something, however? yes--certainly something: but by a paradox familiar enough in human affairs, to snatch the lesser is to sacrifice the greater. the experimental lover, the giver whose small and careful gift is for a time, claims in the name of "experience," of the "fulfilment of his nature," what really belongs only to a greater giving. such lovers are like a rich man who sets out tramping with nothing in his pocket. he may suffer temporary inconvenience, but is within safe distance of his banking account. he plays with a risk he can never really know, since knowledge and experience are not for those "whose sails were never to the tempest given." the prudent lover whose love is lightly given for as long as it lasts is as wise--and as futile. i think, too, that those who offer this little price for so great a thing have nothing left at last. to taste love, to _use_ the great passion of sex is on a par with the exploitation of genius on a series of "pot-boilers." genius may outlast a few such meannesses, but they will murder it at last, and the man who by pot-boiling has gained the opportunity to create a real work of art finds there is no more art left in him. he has now the leisure, the opportunity, the public: but not the power. so is it with those who lightly use so great a thing as sex. yielded to every impulse, given to each "new-hatched, unfledged companion," it loses its capacity for greatness, and the experience desired passes for ever from the grasp. it is this which, to my mind, rules out the "experimental marriage." much may be said for it--and has been, and is being said by people whose judgment must command respect. but love is impatient of lending. if it is not given outright in the belief that the gift is final, can the "experiment" be valid? is not this very sense of finality--this desire to give and burn one's ships--of the very essence of love? one cannot experiment in finality. it is true that many marriages would not have taken place, and had much better not have taken place, if there had been greater knowledge: but we have yet to learn what greater knowledge can do even without experiment. hitherto we have gone to the opposite extreme and buried all that belongs to sex not in a fog of ignorance only, but under a mountain of hypocrisy and lies. let in the light, and see if we cannot do better! and though it is true that some things cannot be known by any amount of teaching, and wait upon experience, yet i submit that the essential experience is realized only when it is believed to be the expression of an undying love--a gift and not a loan. let me say one last word on the solution to our moral difficulties proposed by those who affirm for every woman "the right to motherhood." this claim is based on the belief that the creative impulse is more, or more consciously, present in the sexual nature of a woman than of a man, and that, in consequence, the satisfaction of that impulse is to a great extent the satisfaction of a need which makes the disproportionate number of women in any country a real tragedy. it is impossible to generalize with any degree of confidence about the sexual nature of either man or woman in our present state of crude and barbarous ignorance; but i am inclined--very tentatively--to agree that this generalization is correct, and that the creative impulse is an even stronger factor in the sexual life of women than of men. i realize the cruelty of a civilization in which war and its accessories create an artificial excess of women over men, and in consequence deprive hundreds of thousands of women of motherhood. i do not think i underestimate that cruelty or its tragic consequences. i admit the "right" of women to the exercise of their vocation and the fulfilment of their nature. but i affirm that those who base upon this claim the right to bring children into the world, where society has made marriage impossible, are not moved to do so by the instinct of motherhood. no, no, for motherhood is more than a physical act; it is a spiritual power. its first thought is not for the right of the mother but of the child. and what are a child's rights? a home--two parents--all that makes complete the spiritual as well as the material meaning of "home." i do not believe that there is any woman who is the mother of young children, and a widow, who does not daily realize how irreparable is the loss sustained by the fatherless. war perhaps has inflicted that loss upon them; it is one of the iniquities of war. and though the mother tries all she can--yes, and works miracles of love to make herself all she _can_ be to her child, that loss cannot wholly be made up. i speak with intensity of conviction on this point, for i have myself a little adopted child--orphaned of both parents--in my home. i never see other children with their parents without realizing what she has lost not only in her mother but her father. there is needed the different point of view, the different relationship, bringing with it a fuller and a richer experience of life. what woman that hast lost her husband does not realize the truth of what i say? it is beside the mark to say that a bad father is worse than no father, or that accident may take the father even from happily circumstanced homes. this is true. but a woman does not deliberately _choose_ a bad father for her children, or _choose_ that he shall be taken away from them by death. it is the deliberate infliction beforehand of this great loss upon a child that seems to me the very negation of that motherhood in whose name this "right" is enforced. and for what purpose is a child to be brought into the world under conditions so imperfect? to "fulfil the nature" of its mother; to complete her experience; to meet her need. is there any mockery of motherhood more complete than this sacrifice of the child to the mother? why, our physical nature itself is less selfish! when a woman conceives, her child receives _first_ all the nourishment it needs; whatever it does not demand, the mother has. a woman herself undernourished can, if the process has not gone too far, bear a well-nourished and a healthy child, because she has given all to that child. it is the epitome of motherhood! and now it is affirmed that a woman, to satisfy her own need, has a right to bring into the world a child on whom she--its mother--has deliberately inflicted a grave disadvantage. i do not speak of such lesser disadvantages as may be involved in illegitimacy. i trust the time is at hand when we shall cease to brand any child as "illegitimate" or despise one for another's defect. but though children are never illegitimate, parents may be so; and none more than the woman who sacrifices her child to herself. for this disadvantage is not a mere cruelty of society which may be "civilized" away; it is inherent in the case. a child should have a father and a mother and a home. it is no defence to say that the unmarried mother proposes to give her child a better home than many a child of married parents has. if her concern is for the child, there are, alas! only too many waifs already in the world to whom such a home, though imperfect, would be a paradise to what it has. real motherhood could and often does rescue such children with joy. that so few children are adopted in a world of women clamouring for motherhood proves the essential selfishness of the claim. it is not the child--it is herself--that the woman who demands motherhood as a "right" is concerned with. what an irony! for to satisfy herself first is the negation of motherhood. we have heard much of late years--and rightly--of the exploitation of women by men. let us not celebrate our growing enfranchisement by becoming ourselves the exploiters; and that, not of men, but of babes. iv the true basis of morality "let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: o no! it is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests, and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come; love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out ev'n to the edge of doom:-- if this be error, and upon me proved, i never writ, nor no man ever loved." w. shakespeare. "he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. what? know ye not that your body is the temple of the holy ghost which is in you, which ye have of god, and ye are not your own?" (i. cor. vi., - .) i said in an earlier chapter that i wanted to find a moral standard which should be based on the realities of human nature, and in order to do that we must first have a clear idea of what human nature really is, and by what law it lives. we have been passing during the last generation from an idea of law which belonged to our forefathers to a new idea of law which has been given to us by modern science; and in transition we still talk in ambiguous terms about "law"--moral "law," for instance--confusing ourselves between a law that is imposed on us from outside, a law that is passed by parliament, for instance, or a law that has been the common custom of the country through its judges, and that kind of "law" which science has revealed to us. scientific "law" is not imposed from without; it is the law of our being. when you talk of the "law" of gravitation, you do not mean that somebody outside has laid it down that mass shall act in a certain way with regard to other masses; you mean that mass-material--being what it is--behaves in a certain way. that is to say, a scientific law is _the law of being_ of that which obeys the law. it obeys it because it is its nature to do so. if we could get a firm, hold of that idea of law, our own legislation would not be so senseless as it often is; for we should try to discover what is the nature of human beings--their real nature, about which we are often deceived--and we should try to make our laws, including our moral laws, those to which human nature, at its best, would most naturally and fully respond. that is the conception that is at the back of the great phrase which sounds like a paradox in one of the collects of the english prayer book: "whose service is perfect freedom." "whose service is perfect freedom"; that is to say, when you obey god, you find perfect freedom because you are doing what it is your true nature to do. and that is why i want to base our moral law, our moral standard, on the realities of human nature. but, you will reply, when people are free to act as they choose they sometimes choose to violate their own nature. i cannot say how that happens; it involves the entire problem of evil; and i do not propose even to attempt to deal with it in this book. i will only say that our confusion has arisen, as i think, out of the very fact that instead of obeying the law of our being we have violated it; and now are so confused that we hardly know what "human nature" really is, or of what it is capable. that is why we get such extraordinarily different ideas about morals, and why, as i think, we get such arbitrary judgments on human beings. before, then, we can rightly establish our moral standard we have to decide what human nature really is, and when we have done that we shall know what is really moral. i suppose that sounds like a paradox to many, because they think that morality is always "going against" human nature. if people do anything that is generally called "immoral," they will excuse themselves on the grounds of human nature; they will say: "after all, _human nature being what it is_, you must expect this, that and the other kind of licence and immorality"; and to say that morality, real morality, can only be based on the realities of human nature will therefore sound to many of you the wildest kind of paradox. but i want to pursue it just as though it were true, because i believe it is true. what, then, are the realities of our nature? here is one: a human being is not and never can be cut off from other human beings. he is not alone. he cannot consider himself only. if he does so he violates his own nature, because it is not his nature to be alone, and he cannot act without his actions affecting other people. he cannot think, he cannot feel, he cannot act or speak without affecting other people, and it is futile for anyone to say: "it does not matter to others what i do; nobody knows; it concerns only myself." your innermost thought affects the whole world in which you live, and whatever moral standard you are going to adopt, you must take it for granted that your standard will affect other people, and that it is absolutely impossible for you to act or think alone. and then human beings are three-fold in nature. they have a body, a mind--or what st. paul calls a "soul"--and a spirit. "soul" is a word whose meaning we have altered so much that i must define what i mean by it and what i think st. paul meant by it. the soul includes the emotions and the intellect, that part of a man which is not wholly physical and which is not entirely spiritual. everyone has a soul. and every one of you, however much you ignore your body, however much you may tell me your body does not really exist, have got a body too. you have to eat and drink and sleep, just like the most material alderman, though you may eat less. and you cannot base a real moral standard on the pretence that you have not got a body. you are, on one side of your nature, physical, material, animal; but you have got a mind and emotions or "soul"; and you have got a spirit. to act as though you had not is just as futile as to pretend that you have not got a body. "where there is no vision the people perish." "mankind is incurably religious." "all the world seeks after god." those proverbs, those sayings, which are familiar to all, crystallize the world's experience that human beings are spiritual beings. if there is any person who thinks that he is merely an intellect and a body, i will direct the attention of that intellect of his away from himself to the race, and i will remind him that practically no race in the world has ever been entirely without the sense of god; that, however hard men try, they have never been able to cure humanity of its spiritual hunger; that though our gods are often gross and earthy, even diabolical, yet they are spiritual, and they are the proof that man is spiritually aware; that he is a spirit as well as a body and a soul. now i say that anyone who tries to base his morality on the assumption that he is only a body, or only an intelligence, or only a spirit, has got a false standard, and his morality is a dishonest kind of morality. the body will avenge itself on those who ignore it. psychologists are teaching us that the mind will avenge itself on those who ignore it. and this is just as true of the spirit. where there is no vision the people do perish. your spiritual nature avenges itself on those who try to rule it out. base your morality either on the exclusion of any part of your being, or on the assumption that what you do concerns yourself alone; and you will find that you are violating human nature. it is useless for you to act wrongly and to affirm that you do it "because human nature is what it is." when you do so, you are assuming that human nature is _not_ what it is; that is to say you assume that it is purely physical, when, in fact, it is three-fold--body, soul and spirit. you can see for yourselves, i think, how this violation of human nature works itself out. for animals promiscuity is not wrong. when they treat themselves as purely animals they are basing their moral standard, if i may put it so, on bed-rock; they _are_ animals, and therefore they behave as animals without violating any law of their being. as they rise higher in the scale of evolution their morals become nobler. there are moral standards among the lower animals, but they remain at a certain level, and rightly so. no animal is harmed by behaving like an animal, for in doing so he obeys the law of his being; but if human beings behave as though they were animals, what happens? they find to their horror that they have let loose upon the world detestable, hideous and devastating diseases. do you think that medicine will ever be able to rid the world of what are called the diseases of immorality as long as immorality remains? i do not believe it. i know that you can do much for individual sufferers, though you cannot do one-tenth part of what doctors thought they were going to be able to do, eight or nine years ago. and, of course, whatever we can do, we must and ought to do. but we do not reach the root of the matter by medicine. no scientist can tell us how small-pox or tuberculosis or rheumatism first entered the world; but any scientist can tell us that by wrong living, wrong housing, wrong feeding, we can breed and spread and perpetuate disease. in other words, we are diseased not because we obey the laws of our nature but because we violate them: and though we can take the individual sufferer and (sometimes) cure him, we shall not get rid of the disease until we have learnt to obey those laws and to live rightly. in just the same way the diseases of vice, though no one can say how they first came into the world, continue and flourish, not because of human nature, but because we violate some law of our own nature in what we do. we may even cure the individual; we may see a thousand struck and a thousand guilty escape; the fact remains that these diseases are bred in the swamp of immorality, just as certainly as malaria is bred in the mosquito-haunted pools of the malaria swamp. drain the swamp, and you get rid of the malaria, for there is no longer any place for the malaria-bearing mosquito to breed. drain the swamp of immorality, and you get rid of venereal disease, because there is no longer a place where these diseases can breed. live rightly, and your nature will respond in health. when human beings elect to make their relations with one another promiscuous--when, that is to say, they treat themselves as animals--they are not obeying, they are violating the law of their own being; for they are not animals only, and to treat themselves as such is to disobey the law of their own nature. and disobedience reacts in disease. so again, the relations of men and women are of the mind as well as of the body and the spirit. you cannot rule out your mind, and i think that those who believe, as many do today, not indeed in a merely animal promiscuity, but in rather casual relations between men and women--experiments, if you like, men and women passing from one union to another--rule out the fact that a human being has a mind, a memory and foresight; that our being includes a past, and, in a sense, includes a future also; and when you try to divorce your physical experience from your intellectual and emotional being you are again violating the law of your own nature. i remember asking one of the most happily married women that i know to put into words, if she could, the reason why she believed that married people, married lovers, should not have gone through other relationships with other people before they gave themselves to one another. i asked her to express in words what seemed to her immoral. she wrote this: "in the ideal union between god and man, we know that man must give the fulness of his being, body, mind and spirit, throughout his whole life, to god, and that anything less than this, though it may be fine and noble, does fall short of perfection. it is the same with the human love of men and women. the 'fulness of our being' which we desire to give to our lover consists not only in what we are at any given moment but in what we have been in the past, what we may become in the future. and so in the formation of merely temporary unions the highest and deepest unity can never be fully achieved." she went on to say: "when we have passed beyond the physical sphere we shall be able, like god, to give ourselves equally to all; but while we are in the flesh we cannot share ourselves equally with all, and any attempt to do so lowers the standard of perfect human love." i like that, because it is based again on a loyal acceptance of human nature. we are not yet as god in the sense that, being wholly spirit, we can share ourselves equally with all. we do still live in bodies, and we have in this life memory and prevision, and surely that is indeed an ideal union, if we are looking for the highest, which is able to give its past and its future as well as its present, so that the whole personality is involved, in that act of union, and that anything short of that is at least not quite perfect. human beings are still in the body, and are yet soul and spirit in that body, and must take both into account. divorce the physical from the spiritual in yourself, and you are violating yourself. divorce the physical from the spiritual in someone else--you who perhaps say: "i myself love such a man, such a woman, with the best part of myself; what i do with another is of no importance"--you violate the nature of that other from whom you take what is physical, and leave what is spiritual as though it were not there. your life, like your body, is too highly organized, too sensitive, too knit together by memories and prevision for you to leave behind you anything that has really entered into your life. it is a shoddy and superficial nature that passes easily from experience to experience, and when you look at such you can see how shallower still it becomes. it is the deeper and the loftier nature that cannot enter into any human relationship and then pass away from it altogether unchanged. and even that shoddy, that poor, that mean little soul which seems to pass so lightly from one experience to another does not really altogether escape. some mark is left upon the soul, some association remains in the memory; and again and again marriages have been wrecked because a man has taken the associations of the gutter into the sanctuary of his home. unwillingly, with an imagination that fain would reject the stain, he has injured, he has insulted the love that has now come to him, the most precious thing on earth, because he has not known how to do otherwise; because all the associations of passion have been to him degraded, smirched, treated frivolously in the past. it is true of men; it is also true of women. i do not know of anything that makes understanding harder between two people than the fact that one has had experiences and associations which the other has not had and does not understand, because they are on an entirely different level. these create between them, with all the desire for understanding in the world, a barrier of misunderstanding and incomprehension, which is all the more fatal because it is so intangible, so obscure, so hard to put into words, so often actually unconscious or subconscious in the mind of one or of the other. again, you must not think that you are altogether spirit, and here perhaps it is the woman who is more apt to sin than the man. how often have i talked to women who speak of the physical side of love as though it were something base and unworthy! such a conception of passion is inhuman, and therefore it is not really moral. a woman who thinks of this sacrament of love, for which perhaps the man who loves her has kept himself clean all his life, as a base thing, and who treats it as though it were a concession to something base in a man's nature, instead of being the very consecration of body and soul at once, the sacrament of union, one of the loveliest things in human nature--such a woman gives as great a shock to what is sacred and lovely in her husband's nature as he when he brings with him into his marriage the associations of the street. it is as hard, it is as insulting, it makes marriage as difficult in understanding, one way as the other. for it is not true that our bodies are vile and base; they are the temples of the holy spirit. or if you think that you can stand alone, that what you do is the concern of no one else, that your life is a solitary thing, so solitary that no man or woman is concerned, no one but yourself, and you may sin alone--there again you misunderstand. you cannot stand alone, and nothing that you say or think or do leaves the world unchanged. is that difficult to believe in these days, when psychology is teaching us how all-important thought is? ought you to find it hard to believe that what you do in the utmost secrecy affects others, since it affects you, and no man lives to himself alone? i do not wish to exaggerate. i have a horror of those books and people who speak in exaggerated terms of any kind of sexual lapse. i am persuaded that human beings can rise from such mistakes, and rise much more easily than from the subtler spiritual sins which have so much more respectable an air. but yet do not sin under the impression that what you do concerns yourself alone. do not use, for your own satisfaction only, powers which were given you for creation and for the world. but this, you may say, is not the accepted standard of morality. that is a matter rather of laws and ceremonies. and people begin to ask; "what real difference can a mere ceremony make?" it does not make any difference to the morality of your relationships with your fellow men and women. nothing that is immoral becomes moral because it has been done under a legal contract, or consecrated by a rite. there, i think, is where the world has gone so wrong. the idea that a relation that is selfish, cruel, mercenary, becomes moral because someone has said some words over you, and you have signed a register--what a farcical idea! how on earth does that change anything at all? the morality of all civil or religious ceremony lies, i think, in this--that by accepting and going through it, you accept the fact that your love does concern others besides yourself; it will concern your children; and beyond that, it concerns the world. you are right when you ask your friends to come and rejoice with you at your wedding. it is the concern of all the world when people love each other, and it is the failure of _love_ that concerns them when marriage is a failure. such failure chills the atmosphere; it shakes our faith in love as the supreme power in the universe; it makes us all waver in our allegiance to constancy and love when love fails. it is a joyful thing when people love. "all the world loves a lover." it is an old saying, but what a true one! it _is_ our concern when people nobly and loyally love each other, it is the concern of the community, and those who take upon themselves these public vows seem to me to have a more truly moral conception of love than those who say: "this is our affair only; it is not the affair of the state or the affair of the church." but the actual ceremony must be the expression of a moral feeling such as that. it cannot in itself make moral what is immoral! the old idea that if a woman was seduced by a man she was "made honest" by the man marrying her is essentially immoral. very likely all that she knew about the man was that she could not trust him, and to suppose that we can set right what is wrong by tying them together for the rest of their lives is to imagine an absurdity and to establish a lie. or take the case from another point of view. i have two in my mind at this moment, who for some reason (a reason not very far to seek if you read our english marriage laws) came to the conclusion that it is not right to place oneself in such a position as a married woman is in under english law. i am not discussing whether they were right or wrong; i say that quite sincere and moral people do come to that conclusion sometimes, and so did these two. they lived together, therefore, without being legally married. they were absolutely faithful to each other; their love was as responsible, as dignified, as true as any such relation could be. it lacked to my mind one thing--the sense of a wider responsibility--but then it had very much that many legal marriages have not. those two people are put outside society; it is made almost impossible for them to earn their living; and at last in despair they go to the registry office, and sign their names in a book. what difference has been made in their relation to each other? absolutely none. they are no more convinced of the right and duty of the community to be concerned with marriage than they were before. they have yielded to coercion. their moral standard, good or bad, is precisely what it was; their relation to each other wholly unchanged. but in the eyes of the world they have become respectable, they are "moral," they can be received back into the bosom of society. and why? because they have gone through a ceremony in which they do not believe! every marriage in the world probably lacks something of perfection. there are no perfect human beings, and, therefore, hardly, perhaps, a perfect marriage; and to my mind those who do not admit the concern of the community in their marriage do lack something. but to suppose that those people are immoral, when others who live together, legally licensed to do so, in selfishness, in infidelity, for financial reasons, or for social reasons, are moral is fundamentally dishonest. when a woman sells her body for money, do you think that it makes it moral that she does it in a church or in a registry office? is there one whit of difference, morally, between the prostitution that has no legal recognition and the prostitution that has? is it anything but prostitution to sell yourself for money, whether you are a man or a woman? do you imagine that because you have a contract to protect you while you do it, you are doing what is moral? if you marry for any reason but love--for experience, to "complete your nature"--without much regard to the man or woman you marry, or to the children you bring into the world, are you not exploiting human nature just as certainly, though not so brutally, as a man who buys a woman in the street? it is not so base a form of exploitation, god knows; that i admit; but when there is _any_ element of exploitation in the bargain it is not made more truly moral because it happens to be blessed in a church or registered in an office. the legal ceremony must be the outcome of a morality which makes you realize that what you do affects other people, that what you do most profoundly affects the children that you hope to have, and that the community has both an interest and a responsibility in all this. that is "moral." but if the relationship thus to be legalized is not moral, it is dishonest to pretend that it can be made so by any ceremony which those concerned may undergo. but, you will say, we cannot peer into other people's lives and judge them in this kind of way. how are we to know? how are we, who have many friends, many neighbours, on whom our standards must react, to judge their lives? we can tell who has gone through a legal ceremony and who refuses to do so. that is a nice convenient rule by which we can judge and condemn such people. but we cannot go poking into people's lives and studying their motives and judging their fundamental moral standards! no, you cannot. why should you? this little set of iron rules makes it very easy to judge, does it not? but why do you desire it to be easy to judge? you and i know how infinite are the gradations between the most noble kind of chastity and the most ignoble kind of immorality; but which of us is to create a rigid standard and measure our friends and acquaintances against it? we do not do it with the other virtues: why do we desire to do it with this one? take such a virtue as truth. conceive the crystalline sincerity of some truth-loving minds, realize that some have such a devotion to truth that the faintest shadow of insincerity--not a lie, but the merest shadow of insincerity in the depths of their hearts--is abhorrent to them. consider the infinite gradations between that mind and the mind which takes a lie for truth, a mind that is rotten with corruption, that does not know how to think straight, let alone care to speak straight. you do not draw up your little set of rules and say: "i do not call on that person because he does not speak the truth; and i won't have anything to do with that one--such persons are outside the social pale altogether because their conception of truth is different from mine!" no, you keep your admiration for the truth-loving and the sincere. you recognize that people have different standards about what is truth. one person will never tell a lie under any circumstances: another will reckon himself free to tell a lie to save a third, or to preserve a confidence; will you judge which is the more honourable of the two? where is your little set of rules? you cannot have one. you shrink from the person who is morally dishonest and corrupt; you worship the person who loves truth as darwin loved it. but between those two extremes what an infinite variety of attainment! who can say: "these people are moral because they are married, and those are immoral, they are not married?" it is not true, it is not honest, to make these rules our measure. they do not meet the realities of human nature, and i contend that we, who have known souls so chaste and lovely that they make us in love with virtue, do far more to raise the moral standard of humanity by seeking to imitate such people than by setting up our little codes of rules and condemning or justifying all men by them. let us treat this virtue as we do every other virtue, not fitting it to a set of rules which everyone knows do not fit the realities, but taking our courage in our hands and judging human beings (if we must judge them) by their real sincerity, their real unselfishness, their real unwillingness to exploit others--the measure of the chastity of their souls. v the moral standard of the future: what should it be? "ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, thou shalt not commit adultery: but i say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. it hath been said, whosoever shall put away his wife let him give her a writing of divorcement: but i say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. "again ye have heard that it has been said by them of old time, thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shall perform unto the lord thine oaths: but i say unto you, swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is god's throne; nor by the earth; for it is his footstool; neither by jerusalem; for it is the city of the great king. neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. but let your communications be, yea, yea; nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh from evil." (matthew v., - ; - .) i have tried to reach those realities of human nature on which human morality must be based. i believe that the fundamental things which we must take into account are, first, the complex nature of human beings, who having body, soul, and spirit to reckon with cannot neglect any one of these without insincerity; and, secondly, the solidarity of the human race, which makes it futile to act as though the "morals" of any one of us could be his own affair alone. it is because of this solidarity that marriage has always been regarded as a matter of public interest, to be recognized by law, celebrated by some public ceremony, protected by a legal contract. all are concerned in this matter, for it affects the race itself, through the children that may be born. human children need what animals do not, or not to the same extent. they need two parents: they need a stable and permanent home: they need a spiritual marriage, a real harmony between their parents, as well as a physical one. a child is not provided for when you have given it a home and food and clothing, since it is a spirit as well as a body--a soul and a spirit, a being craving for love, and needing to live in an atmosphere of love. the young of no other species need this as children do, and therefore, it is the concern of the community to see that the rights of these most helpless and most precious little ones are safeguarded. i cannot believe that any state calling itself civilized can ever disregard the duty of safeguarding the human rights of the child, and i repeat its human rights are not sufficiently met when its physical necessities are guaranteed. but i go further. i claim that it is really the concern of all of us that people who love should do so honestly, faithfully, responsibly. marriage should be permanent; that is true in a sense that makes it important to all of us that it should succeed. those who have loved and ceased to love have not failed for themselves only but for all. they have shaken the faith of the world. they have inclined us to the false belief that love is not eternal. they have, so far as they could, destroyed a great ideal, injured a great faith. people--and some of these are my personal friends, and people for whom i have a very great respect--who affirm that a legal or religious marriage is not necessary because their relations to one another are not the concern of the community, may have, it seems to me, a morality that is lofty, but not one that is broad, not one that is truly human. it is not true (and, therefore, it is not moral) to say that marriage is not the concern of other people. no one can fail in love, no one can take on himself so great a responsibility and fail to fulfil it, without all of us being concerned. humanity is _solidaire_. the community is and must be concerned in the love of men and women in marriage. but what should be the nature of that concern? what should we--the community--hold up as the right standard of sex-relationship, and what methods should we use to impose it on others? i think you will have gathered from what i have said already that, to my mind, marriage should be a union that looks forward to being permanent, faithful, monogamous. it should be the expression of a union of spirit so perfect that the union of the bodies of those who love follows as a kind of natural necessity. it should be the sacrament of love, "the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace." and something of this perfection is to be found in many marriages that seem (and are) far from complete. i often hear of the lives of married people where there has been very much to overcome, where perhaps the marriage has been entered into in ignorance and error; where the passion that brought the two together has been very evanescent; where it has soon become evident that their temperaments do not "fit"; where it might easily be said that they were not really "married" at all: yet there has been in these two such a stubborn loyalty to responsibilities undertaken, such a magnificent sense of faithfulness, such a determination to make the best out of what they have rather lightly undertaken; sometimes even only on one side, there has been such faith, such honour, such loyalty, such a refusal to admit a final failure, that a relationship poor in promise has become beautiful and sacred. in face of such loyalty, the theory that sex-relationships can rightly be brief, evanescent, thrown aside as soon as passion has gone, seems to me very cheap and shoddy, very unworthy of human beings. marriage should be all that--shall i say?--the brownings made of it. but when it is not, there is still often much that is left. men and women, you cannot enter into one another's lives in this deep and intimate way and go on your way as though nothing had happened. you cannot tear asunder people so united without bleeding. you cannot make a failure of it without immeasurable loss. "how do i love thee? let me count the ways. i love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace. i love thee to the level of everyday's most quiet need, by sun and candlelight." who that has once heard this can easily take anything less? or who, having loved in any of these ways, will lightly break the bond? i think that one of the most profoundly moral relationships i have ever met between a man and a woman was, in spite of all that i have said up till now, the relationship of a man to a woman to whom at first he was not legally married. it was her wish, not his, but they were not legally married. they had no children, and she was unfaithful to him more than once, and yet this man--and he did not call himself a christian--this man felt that he had taken the responsibility of that woman's life, and though he could easily have put her away, and though, at last, she killed in him all that you would normally call love between a man and woman, and he learned to care for another woman, yet he would not abandon her because now she had grown to need him, and he felt he could not take so great a human responsibility as the life of another person and then cast it away as though it had never been. that is morality. to such a sense of what human relationships demand my whole soul gives homage. that seems to me a perfectly humane and, therefore, truly moral idea of what love involves. such a sense of responsibility should go with all love. passion cannot last, in the nature of things, and, therefore, those who marry do so, if they know anything at all of love--and, god help them, many of them do not--but if they know anything at all of love, they know that it is physically impossible for this particular bond always to unite them. they must be aware that there is something more than that, something that must in the end transcend that physical union. looking at marriage from that point of view, can one desire that it should be anything less than permanent, indissoluble? that which god made, and, therefore, which no man should put asunder? let the community--both church and state--teach this. let us make it clear that men and women should not marry unless they do sincerely believe that their love for each other is of this character. let them understand that physical union should be the expression of a spiritual union. let them learn that love, though it includes passion, is more than passion, and must transcend and outlive passion. and let us insist that all should learn the truth about themselves--about their own bodies and about their own natures--so that they may understand what they do, and may have all the help that knowledge can give in doing it. i hold that on such knowledge and such understanding the community should insist, if it is to uphold the high and difficult standard of indissoluble monogamous marriage. so only _can_ it be rightly upheld. i urge also that when a marriage takes place the state has a right and a duty with regard to it. for the sake of every citizen, and most of all for the sake of the children, it should "solemnize" marriage, and should do so on the understanding--clearly expressed--that those who come to be married intend to be faithful to each other "as long as they both shall live." in doing this i believe the state does all--or nearly all--that it usefully can to uphold the dignity of marriage and a high standard of morality. i do not believe that it should seek to penalize those whose sex-relationships are not of this character, except so far as legislation for the protection of the immature or the helpless is concerned. and i do not think it should compel--or seek to compel, for compulsion is, in fact, impossible--the observance of a marriage which has lost or never had the elements of reality. is this to abandon the ideal i have been upholding? i do not think so. let us refer again to the greatest of teachers and the loftiest of idealists--jesus christ. see what he teaches in the sermon on the mount and elsewhere. everywhere he emphasizes the spiritual character of virtue and of sin. to be a murderer it is not necessary to kill: to hate is, in itself, enough. if you hate you are essentially a murderer. to be an adulterer it is not necessary to commit adultery: to look on a woman lustfully is already to have committed adultery with her in your heart. it is the spirit that sins. so keep your spirit pure. it is not enough to keep your oaths: you should be so utterly and transparently sincere that there is no need and no sense in supporting your words by great oaths. "yea" and "nay" should be sufficient. you will notice that the sermon on the mount has been divided in this chapter into a number of paragraphs, each of which begins by a reference to the old external law of conduct, and goes on to demand a more searching, more spiritual and interior virtue. "ye have heard that it was said by them of old time.... but i say unto you." "ye have heard that it was said: 'thou shalt not kill' ... but i say unto you that whosoever is angry shall be in danger of the judgment. ye have heard that it was said: 'thou shalt not commit adultery,' but i say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.... ye have heard that it was said: 'thou shalt not forswear thyself,' but i say unto you: 'swear not at all.'" what is the significance of such teaching? surely that we are not to be satisfied with keeping the letter of the law, but are to keep it in our hearts. so clear is this that the church has completely abandoned the letter of the last precept. no one except a quaker refuses to take an oath. every bishop on the bench has done so, and every incumbent of a living. nowhere throughout the sermon on the mount have christians felt themselves bound to a literal or legal interpretation of its teaching. no one wants a man to be tried for murder and hanged for hating his brother. no judge grants a divorce because a man or woman has "committed adultery in his heart." christ himself did not _literally_ "turn the other cheek" when struck by a soldier. his disciples everywhere pray in places quite as public as the street-corners forbidden in the next chapter of st. matthew, and give their alms publicly or in secret as seems to them best. it may be contended that in this spiritual interpretation of christ's commands it is very easy to go too far and "interpret" all the meaning out of them. it is certain, however, that the danger must be incurred, since nothing could make sense out of an absolutely _literal_ interpretation. it would mean a _reductio ad absurdum_. apply such a literalism, for example, to the point at which for centuries the church has sought to apply it--the indissolubility of marriage. it is admitted that since a phrase, of however doubtful authority, does make an exception in favour of divorce for adultery, the church can recognize a law in this sense. but if we are to be literalists, it seems that a lustful wish is adultery! is this to be a cause for divorce? and if not, why not? obviously because we can no more apply such spiritual teaching literally than we can take a man out and hang him because he hates his brother! there we cease to be literal: how then can we fall back on a literal interpretation at another point? i claim that there is no ground whatever for a more rigid and legal interpretation of our lord's teaching about marriage than about taking oaths or praying in public. i believe that christ held that marriage should be permanent and indissoluble, that only those people should marry who loved each other with a love so pure, so true, so fine as to be regarded rightly as a gift from god, who accepted their union as a great trust as well as a great joy, whose marriage might indeed be said to be "made in heaven" before it was solemnized on earth; but that he should insist on a legal contract from which all reality had departed, or regard as a marriage a union of which the most cynical could only say that it was made in hell, merely because the church or the state had chosen to bless or register it, seems to me as unlike the whole of the rest of the sermon on the mount and as far from the spirit of christ as east is from west. it surely is not conceivable that he to whom marriage meant so much that he spoke of it as being made by god, who conceived of the union of a man and woman as being the work of god himself "those whom god has joined together"--would have cared for the shell out of which the kernel had gone, for the mere legal bond out of which all the spirit had fled. marriage should be indissoluble; but what is marriage? i heard a little while ago of a girl of who was married to a man of . he was immoral in mind and diseased in body, and at the end of a year she left him with another man. he divorced her, and she is now married to that other man, and there are people who say that this marriage, which, so far as one can judge, is a moral, faithful, and a responsible union, blest with children who are growing up in a good home, is no marriage because the wife went through a ceremony with this other man before, and marriage is indissoluble. marriage is indissoluble: "those whom god has joined together let no man put asunder." did god join those two together? they were married in a church. it is the church that should repent in sackcloth and ashes for permitting such a mockery of marriage. let the church by all means do what it has so long failed to do, emphasize the sanctity of human relationships, make men and women realize how deep a responsibility they take in marriage, how sacred a thing is this creative love, from which future generations will spring, which brings into the world human bodies and immortal souls; which, even if it is childless, is still the very sacrament of human love. let the church teach all that it can to make marriage sacred and divine, but when it preaches that such a marriage as that is a marriage at all it does not uphold our moral standard but degrades it. i have said enough before, i hope, to make you realize that i do not think that when passion has gone marriage is dead. i have seen marriages which seemed unequal, difficult, unblest, made into something lovely and sacred by the deep patience and loyalty of human nature, and believe it is the knowledge of such possibilities which makes christian people, and even those who would not call themselves christians, generally desire some religious ceremony when they are married. they know that for such love human nature itself is hardly great enough. they desire the grace of god to inspire their love for each other with something of that eternal quality which belongs to the love of god. i have seen husbands love their wives, and wives their husbands, with a divine compassion, an inexhaustible pity, which goes out to the most unworthy and degraded. yes, i would even go so far as to say that unless you feel that you are able to face the possibility of change in the one you love, that you can love so well that even if they alter for the worse your love would no more disappear than the love of god for you would disappear when you change or fail, you have not attained to the perfect love which justifies marriage. but this is a hard saying, and, therefore, those of us who believe in god in any sense instinctively desire the blessing of god to rest on the undertaking of so great a responsibility. we want our love to be divine before we can undertake the whole happiness of another human being. let the church by all means teach this, and i believe that future generations will conceive more nobly and more responsibly of marriage for her teaching. but do not seek to hold together those between whom there is no real marriage at all. when seriously and persistently a man and a woman believe that their marriage never was or has now ceased to be real, surely their persistent and considered opinion ought to be enough for the state to act upon. let no one be allowed to give up in haste. let no one fling responsibility aside easily. let it always be a question of long consideration, of advice from friends, perhaps even from judges. but i cannot help feeling that when through years this conviction that there is no reality in a marriage persists, this is the one really decent and sufficient reason for declaring that that marriage is dissolved. let us have done with the infamous system now in force, by which a man and woman must commit adultery or perjury before they can get us to admit the patent fact that their marriage no longer exists as a reality. let us have done with a system which makes a mockery of our divorce courts. i have the utmost sympathy with those who denounce the light way in which men and women perjure themselves to obtain release, but i affirm that the whole system is, in the main, so based on legalisms, so divorced from morality, that the resultant adulteries and perjuries are what every student of human nature must inevitably expect, however much he may regret and hate them. it will be in vain that laws are devised to prevent divorce by collusion, in vain that king's proctors or judges detect and penalize here and there the less wary and ingenious offenders. the law will continue to be evaded or defied. and the reason is fundamental: it is that the law is not based on reality. it affirms that a marriage still exists when it does _not_ exist. it demands that two human beings should give to each other what they cannot give. and--the essence of marriage being consent--it makes the fact that both parties desire its dissolution the final reason for denying them! to force a woman to demand the "restitution of conjugal rights" when such "rights" have become a horrible wrong; to compel a man to commit, or perjure himself by pretending he has committed, adultery, before he can get the state to face the fact that his marriage is no longer a reality--is this to uphold morality? is this the ideal of the sermon on the mount? let us once for all abandon the pretence that _all_ the marriages made in churches or in registrars' offices are, therefore, necessarily made in heaven. let us get to work instead to see that the marriages of the future shall be made in heaven, and, above all, let us abolish the idea that a marriage is a real marriage which is based on ignorance, on fraud, on exploitation, on selfishness. let us not dream that we can raise our standard of morals, by affirming that every mistake that men and women make in a matter in which mistaking is so tragically easy ought to imprison them in a lie for the rest of their lives. but let us take the ideal of christ, in all its grandeur and all its reality, with our eyes fixed upon the ideal, but with that respect for human personality, that respect for reality and truth, which makes us refuse to accept the pretence that all the marriages we have known have been made by god. let us, at least, in perpetuating such blasphemies as are some of the marriages on which we have seen the blessing of the church invoked, cease to drag in the name of christ to the defence of a system which has laid all its weight upon a legal contract, and kept a conspiracy of silence about the sacred union of body and soul by which god makes man and woman one. vi a plea for light jesus said: "if any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of this world. but if a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him." my last address for the present[c] on the difficult questions that we have been considering here, sunday after sunday, is a plea for light. [footnote c: another address was added a few weeks later in response to urgent requests.] "walking in darkness" has been, in sexual matters, the experience of most of us. even now, in the twentieth century, it is not too much to say that most of us have had to fight our battle in almost complete darkness and something very near to complete isolation. there are two great passions connected with the bodies of men and women, so fundamental that they have moulded the histories of nations and the development of the human race. they are the hunger for food and the instinct of sex. there is no other passion connected with our bodies so fundamental, so powerful, as these two; and yet, with regard to the second, most of us are expected to manage our lives and to grow up into maturity without any real knowledge at all, and with such advice as we get wrapped up in a jargon that we do not understand. we have been as those who set out to sea without a chart; as soldiers who fight a campaign without a map. i do not think this is too much to say of the way in which a large number of the men and women that i know--even those of this generation--have been expected to tackle one of the greatest problems that the human race has to solve. may i sketch what i imagine is the experience of most people? at some point in our lives we begin to be curious; we ask a question; we are met with a jest or a lie, or with a rebuke, or with some evasion that conveys to us, quite successfully, that we ought not to have asked the question. the question generally has to do with the matter of birth--the birth of babies, or kittens, or chickens; some point of curiosity connected with the birth of young creatures is generally the first thing that awakens our interest. when we meet with evasion, lies, or reproof, we naturally conclude that there is something about the birth of life into the world that we ought not to know, and since it is apparently wrong of us even to wish to know it, it is presumably disgusting. we seek to learn from other and more grimy sources what our parents might have told us, and, learning, arrive at the conclusion that in the relations of men and women there is also something that is repulsive. and since, in spite of this, our interest does not cease but becomes furtive curiosity, we also conclude that there is something depraved and disgusting about ourselves. now, all of these three conclusions are lies; and, therefore, we set out in life equipped with a lie in our souls. it is not a good beginning. it means that almost at once those of us who persist in our desire to know are in danger of losing our self-respect. we learn that there is something in sex that is base--so base that even our own parents will not speak to us about it; and because of that, and because a child instinctively does accept, during the first few years of its existence, what its parents or guardians say, we assume that there must be something bad in us, since we so persistently desire to know what is so evil that nobody will speak of it at all. or if anyone does allude to it, it is with unwholesome furtiveness and a rather silly kind of mirth, so as to increase in the minds of many of us the sense that there must be something in our nature that we cannot respect because nobody else finds it beautiful or respectable. our next step, especially if we are conscientious people, is to repress that something. and here i want to say a word in answer to a number of letters that i have had on the point which i raised early in this book, when i claimed that women have to pay as great a tax and suffer as great a hardship from repression as men do. people--both men and women--have written to say that this is not true, and to such i wish to make my point quite clear. i did not say that men and women suffered _in the same way_. i said that they suffered _equally_; and since the question has been raised, i should like just to answer it here. to me it seems, judging as far as i can, from the people that i know, that--speaking very generally--passion comes to a man with greater violence, and is more liable to leave him in peace at other times. passion is to a man who is of strong temperament like a storm at sea. it seems the very embodiment of violence and force. the mere sight of the sea angry almost terrifies one, even if one is perfectly safe from the violence of the storm; but the depths are not stirred. and in the case of a woman i would take a different figure of speech altogether, and say that very often the strain on her is much less dramatic, much less violent, and more persistent. i think of the strain as something like that silent, uninterrupted thrust of an arch against the wall, of a dome on the walls that support it. there is no sign of stress. but it is so difficult to build a dome rightly that italy, the land of domes, is covered with the ruins of those churches whose domes gradually, slowly, thrust outwards till the walls on which they rested gave way and the church was in ruins. that kind of strain is easily denied by the very people who are enduring it. it is so customary, so much a part of their life, that they are unconscious of it. no one who studies psychology to-day can fail to realize how unconscious people often are of the seat and the nature of their own troubles. it is true that the tendency to _exaggerate_ the importance of sex seems likely to vitiate to some extent the conclusions of psychologists like freud and his disciples. but that they have revealed to us a mass of hitherto unknown and un-understood suffering in the minds of both women and men, arising from the continual repression of a passion whose strength may be measured by the disastrous consequences caused by repressing it, no one who knows anything at all of modern psychology can deny. those who do not understand their own trouble will often deny that the trouble exists, and deny it quite honestly. but those who have become the physicians of the mind are just beginning to learn how tremendous a sacrifice the world has asked of women in the past while denying that it was a sacrifice at all! now, this repression follows, in many women and in a considerable number of men, on the assumption that there is something in sex too shameful to be spoken about or looked at in the light. we set out, i repeat, on our campaign without a map of the country and with our compasses pointing the wrong way. and this, above all, is true when repression has caused some actual perversion in the mind, some arrested development, some abnormal condition. this is not always the consequence of deliberate repression on the part of the individual, but it is, i believe, often the consequence of an artificial state of civilization; an attitude towards a great and wonderful impulse which has perverted our whole view of what is divine and lovely in human nature. whatever the cause, the result is abnormality of some kind, and to people who have suffered so, i want, above all, to say this: light and understanding are needed more by you, perhaps, than by anyone else, and to you, above all, they have been denied. loneliness, isolation, the loss of self-respect, the darkness of ignorance have surrounded those to whom the sacrifice has been hardest, and, therefore, the repression, whether racial or individual, most disastrous. you can, if you choose, leave the world a nobler place because you let light in on these dark places. do not say to yourselves that your suffering is useless and purposeless because it is no good to anyone: no one knows of it: no one understands it: and, therefore, it has all the additional bitterness of being to no purpose. that need not be true. ignorance need not continue. if you will try to make your suffering of service to the world, it is not difficult to measure how great may be our advance in fundamental morality in this present generation. we do not know yet of what human nature is capable, and those who are studying the human mind are perhaps the greatest of all pioneers at the present moment. some of you have trusted me, and by your trust have enabled me to help other people. others of you, perhaps, have yourselves become or will become students of psychology. you will advance a little further in a science which is as yet only making its first uncertain steps. even if you do none of these things, yet if you will try to understand yourselves, by the mere fact that you understand, you will find that you are able to help other people--other people whose condition is most tragic, most lonely--to face with courage the problem they share with you.[d] try to solve it, as you can. you will gain in understanding and strength, so that those in yet greater need will instinctively come to you for help. base your own moral standard on all that is noble, and wise and human, and you will find that in you the spiritual begins so to dominate the physical that others will see its power and come to you for help. [footnote d: this subject is more fully dealt with in the next chapter.] "with aching hands and bleeding feet, we toil and toil; lay stone on stone. not till the light of day return all we have built shall we discern." now let us turn to the other side of the problem--the more normal relations of men and women who are lovers, who are husbands and wives. may i again recapitulate what appears to be the history of many married people, even in . let me remind you first that this contract of marriage is the most important, probably, in the whole life of the man and woman who undertake it; that it concerns human personality as perhaps no other relation in the world does, so deeply, so closely, so intimately, that those who enter into it are very near either to heaven or hell. the nearer you come to any other human personality, the nearer you get to the supreme happiness or the supreme failure. and when people enter on this relationship, how are they prepared? many of them are ignorant--and in the case of women often wholly so--of what marriage actually involves. i find it difficult to speak in measured terms of those parents who deliberately allow their daughters to take a step which involves the whole of their future life and happiness, and that of another human being also, in ignorance of what they are doing. this relationship, which requires all the love and all the wisdom of men and women--so much so that even those who do not call themselves christians often desire to go to a church and ask for the grace of god to enable them to carry out so great an undertaking--is entered upon by people who literally do not know what, from the very nature of marriage, is required of them. i suppose many people will say that i speak of a state of things which passed a generation ago. no, i do not. i speak of a state of things that is only too common at this present time. i have known marriage after marriage wrecked by the almost unbelievable ignorance that has been present on both sides. i say both sides. first of all, there is the girl. to her, marriage comes sometimes as so great a shock that her whole temperament is warped and embittered by it. then there is the man, equally ignorant--very often, probably less ignorant of himself, but equally ignorant of her--not realizing how she should be treated. they are often quite ignorant of each other's views on marriage; of what sort of claims they are going to make on each other; what each thinks about the duty of having children. these elementary facts of human life, which must confront those who marry, are faced by them without any kind of preparation, without the most rudimentary knowledge of each other's point of view. and that there are so many happy marriages in spite of all this makes one realize how extraordinarily loyal, fine and courageous, on the whole, human nature is. only the other day i was speaking in a town in the north of england on this very subject, and i got a letter afterwards to say that the writer had very greatly enjoyed my address at the time. she had found it, she assured me, inspiring and elevating. but she felt bound to write and tell me afterwards (what she was sure would both shock and distress me) that she had found that some of the people in my audience were actually acting on what i said! i suppose every public speaker comes up against that sort of thing sometimes--the calm assurance that you are merely talking in the air and have not the slightest desire that anyone should act on what you say. so this lady wrote to say that, though she and her husband had both been greatly impressed by what i said, they were horrified to find that, as a result, people were actually discussing with one another, before they married, certain points which she mentioned to me and which she said they ought never to discuss until they _were_ married. is it not amazing that anyone should seriously contend that it is better to arrive at an understanding with the person he or she is about to marry _after_ marriage than before? that people who would not dream of betraying anyone into any kind of contract about which they were not satisfied that its terms were understood should be willing to betray others--i deliberately call it a betrayal--into a contract of such infinite importance, and positively desire that they shall be ignorant of its nature? it really seems sometimes as if pains were positively taken to mislead those who are going to be married. one of the most amazing statements on this subject, for instance, is contained in the marriage service of the church of england, where the bride and bridegroom are told that marriage was ordained that "such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry and keep themselves undefiled members of christ's body." that there should be anyone in the twentieth century who does not know that a man or a woman who has not the gift of continency is totally unfit for marriage is really rather startling. what such a person requires is both a divine and a physician; but that he should be told that he is fit for marriage and that marriage was expressly designed for him is not only misleading, it is absolutely horrifying. it explains the tragic wreck which so many marriages become after a comparatively short time. i would urge, then, for the future, that we should not concentrate all our moral, ethical, religious, and social force on perpetuating the tragic failure of an empty marriage, but, rather, should concentrate our efforts on trying to make people understand what marriage is; what their own natures are; what marriage is going to demand from them; what they need in order to make it noble. i urge, moreover, that the same principle should apply to those who do not marry--that they also should learn in the light what their difficulties are going to be; how to face their own temperaments; how to deal with their own minds and bodies. your temperament, men and women, does not decide your destiny; it does decide your trials. to know how to deal with it and how to make it your servant, how so to enthrone spiritual power in your nature that it shall dominate all that is physical, not as something base, but as a sacred and a consecrated thing--it is on this that the teachers of to-day should concentrate with all their power. it is true that when we have learnt all that is possible from teaching, there is still something to learn. in marriage is it possible to know finally until the final step is taken? no, i do not think so. but when you consider how we have struggled against ignorance, how many pitfalls have been put in the path of those who desired knowledge, how we have, as it seems, done our best to make this relationship a failure, surely it is worth while, at least, to try what knowledge, and understanding, and education, and training _can_ do. we cannot know all. that is no reason why we should not know all that we can. surely marriage must be a divine institution, since we have done so much to make it a failure, and yet one sees again and again such splendid love, such magnificent loyalty and faith! "you advocate," someone wrote to me the other day, "you advocate that people should leave each other when they are tired of each other." no, i do not advocate that anyone should accept a failure. i advocate that every human being should do all that is possible--more perhaps than is possible without the grace of god--to make marriage the noble and lovely thing it should be. i think those are faint-hearted who easily accept the fact that it is difficult, and from that drift swiftly to the conclusion that for them it is impossible. i advocate that the greatest faith and loyalty should be practised. i believe in my heart that there is perhaps no relationship which cannot be redeemed by the love and devotion and the grace of god in the hearts of those who seek to make it redeemable. what i do say is that in church and state we should concentrate all our efforts on helping men and women to a wise, enlightened, noble conception of marriage before they enter upon it, and not on a futile and immoral attempt to hold them together by a mere legal contract when all that made it valid has fled. i believe that the more one knows of human nature the more one reverences it. i believe that the vast majority of human beings strain every nerve rather than fail in so great a responsibility. do you remember reading in mr. bertrand russell's book, "principles of social reconstruction," of a little church of which it was discovered, not, i think, very long ago, that, owing to some defect in its title, marriages which had been celebrated there were not legal? mr. bertrand russell says that there were at that time i forget how many couples still living who had been married in that church, who found that, by this legal defect, they were not legally bound. do you know how many of those married people seized the opportunity to desert each other and go and marry somebody else? not a single one! every one of those couples went quietly away to church and got married again! religious people do sometimes think such mean things of human nature, and human nature is, for the most part, so much nobler, so much more loyal, so much more loving than we imagine. "lift up your eyes unto the hills from whence cometh your help." "he that walketh in the light, stumbleth not, for he seeth the light of the world." let us face the future courageously, with great reverence for other people's opinions and views. let us not join that mob of shouters who are prepared to howl at everyone who desires to say something that is not quite orthodox, but which is their serious and considered contribution to a great and difficult problem. let us greet them with respect, however much we may differ from them. let us look forward without fear. believe me, below all the froth and scum of which we make so much, human nature is very noble. let us give that example to the world which is worth a thousand arguments--the example of a noble married life, the example of a noble single life. those of you who are alone can do infinitely more for virtue by being full of gentleness, wisdom, sanity, and love than by any harsh repression of yourselves. it is by what you can make of celibacy that the world will judge celibacy. and so of married lovers. believe me, it is not the children of married lovers who are rebels against a lofty standard. those who have seen with their eyes a lovely, faithful and unwavering love are not easily satisfied with anything that is less. "lift up your eyes unto the hills. from whence cometh your strength." and in the light of a great ideal, in the light of knowledge, sincerity and truth, in the light of what i know of human nature, i, for one, am not afraid for the future moral standard of this country. vii friendship "saul and jonathan were lovely and pleasant in their lives, and in their death they were not divided: they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. ye daughters of israel, weep over saul, who clothed you in scarlet, with other delights, who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel. how are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! oh jonathan, thou wast slain in thine high places. i am distressed for thee, my brother jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. how are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished!" (ii. sam. i. - .) "and orpah kissed her mother-in-law; but ruth clave unto her. and she said, behold thy sister-in-law has gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister-in-law. and ruth said, intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, i will go; and where thou lodgest, i will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy god my god: where thou diest, will i die, and there will i be buried: the lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part me and thee." (ruth i. - .) people have sometimes discussed with me whether it is right to have as intense and absorbing a love for a friend of one's own sex as exists between lovers. the word "absorbing" is perhaps the difficulty in their minds. all love is essentially the same, and it has been pointed out that the great classic instances of great love have been almost as often between friends as between lovers. but the test of love's nobility remains the same. if it is in the strict sense "absorbing"--if, that is, it is exclusive, if it narrows one's interests instead of enlarging them, if it involves a failure in love or sympathy with other people, it is wrong--it is not in the true sense "love"; but if it enriches the understanding, widens interest, deepens sympathy--if, in a word, to love one teaches us to love others better, then it is good, it is love indeed. a friendship which is of such character that no one outside it is of any interest, a maternal love which not only concentrates on its own but wholly excludes all other children, even a marriage which ultimately narrows rather than widens and is exclusive in its interests, is a poor caricature of love. a young mother may, in the first rapture of her motherhood, seem wholly absorbed; but, as a matter of fact, she generally ends by caring more for _all_ children because she loves one so deeply. even lovers, after the first absorption of newly-discovered joy, must learn to share their happiness and the happiness of their home with others if it is not to grow hard and dull. and friends may easily estimate the worth of their friendship by the measure with which it has humanized their relations to all other human beings. there is another test also for love: does it express itself naturally and rightly? this test is much more difficult to apply. one may believe that all love is essentially the same, but it is certain that all human relationships are not the same, and, therefore, love cannot always be expressed in the same way; but it is not possible to lay down any exact rule between the sort of "expression" legitimate to each. everyone must have suffered sometimes from a sense of having forced undesired demonstrations on other people, or having them forced on oneself. one's suffering in the first instance is intensified by the knowledge of the extremity of revolt created by the second. there is nothing, i suppose, more acutely painful than the sense of being compelled to accept demonstrations of affection to which one cannot in the same way respond. i believe that this shrinking from expressions which seem unnatural, is rightly intensified a hundredfold when the sense of wrongness or "unnaturalness" is due not to the individual but to the relationship itself. the love which unites the soul to god, children to their parents, mothers and fathers to sons and daughters, lovers to one another, friend to friend, the disciple to his master, is all one. you cannot divide love. but to each belongs its right and natural expression, and to parody the love of lovers between friends revolts the growing sense of humankind. the very horrors of prostitution create a less shuddering disgust than the debauching of a young boy by an older man, though with a tragically common injustice society is more apt to be disgusted by the unfortunate victim, bearing all the marks of his moral and physical perversion, than by the more responsible older man who profits by or even creates it. yet it is, as i have said, only by the _growing_ sense of humanity that such things are condemned. they were not always so in every case. on the contrary it has sometimes been maintained that friendship between men was so much nobler than the love of men and women that even when it demanded physical expression it was still the finest of all human relationship. this idea was, of course, widely held by the greeks during the noblest epochs of their history, and plato, though he does not, as is commonly believed, justify such expression as good in itself, evidently regards it as practically inevitable and, therefore, to be condoned. and though from this indulgent attitude there has been a very general revolt in modern times, the reaction has not always been very discriminating in its condemnation or very just in its reprisals. now--in consequence, no doubt, of this injustice--there has arisen another attempt to assert the superior nobility of friendship over love,[e] and even to claim a superior humanity for people who are more attracted by members of their own sex. [footnote e: i am using the terms "friendship" and "love" in their ordinarily accepted and narrow sense, as meaning respectively the love of friends and the love of lovers. this is arbitrary, but i cannot find other words except by using long phrases.] there is not in this any question of the bestial depravity which deliberately debauches the young and innocent: it is a question of the kind of friendship glorified by plato. and those who uphold the platonic view are not always debauchees but sometimes men and women who, however incomprehensibly, still sincerely believe that they and not we who oppose them are the true idealists. this is why it is worth while to state our reasons for our profound disagreement, and to do so as intelligently and fairly as possible. it is also worth while because no one has suffered more cruelly or more hopelessly than those whose temperament or abnormality has been treated by most of us as though it were _in itself_, and without actual wrong-doing, a crime worthy of denunciation and scorn. first, then, let it be remembered that the highest types humanity has evolved have been men and women who are really "human," that is to say who have not only those qualities which are generally regarded as characteristic of their sex, but have had some share of the other sex's qualities also. a man who is (if such a thing could be) wholly and exclusively male in all his qualities would be repulsive; so would a woman wholly and exclusively female. one has only to look at history to realize it. compared with the exquisite tenderness and joy of a st. francis of assisi, the courage and determination of a st. joan of arc, the intellectual power of a st. catherine of siena or st. theresa of spain, the "brute male" who is wholly male, the "eternal feminine" with her suffocating sexuality seem on the one hand inhuman, on the other subhuman. it is not the absence of the masculine qualities in a man, or of the feminine qualities in a woman which raises them above the mass; it is the presence in power of both; and no man is truly human who has not something of the woman in him--no woman who has not something of the man. here is a certain truth. and its supreme example is christ himself--christ in whom power and tenderness, strength and insight, courage and compassion were equally present--christ who is in truth the ideal of all humanity without distinction of race, class or sex. this is true. but its truth has been misunderstood by teachers like edward carpenter. beauty and strength in human nature as elsewhere depend on harmony, and in such characters as i have cited that harmony is found. for, in fact, there is no instance in nature of a male wholly male or a female entirely female. even physically the elements are shared. and if we say with confidence that where these elements are most fully shared there is found the fullest humanity, we are not committed to adding that where the body has one predominating character and the spirit another there is something finer still! for harmony of life and temperament the body should be the perfect instrument and expression of the spirit. when you have the temperament of one sex in the body of another, this cannot be. there is at once a disharmony, a dislocation, a disorder--in fact, a less perfect not a more perfect type. humanity does, i believe, progress towards a fuller element of the woman in the man, the man in the woman, and the best we have produced so far confirm the truth of this. but it is not an advance to produce a type in which the temperament and the body are at odds. this is not progress but perversion. it is the same consciousness of dislocation which makes us condemn homosexual practices. here it is a dislocation between the means and the end. the instinct of sex, to whatever use it may have been put, is fundamentally the creative instinct. it is not by an accident, it is not as a side-issue, that it is through sexual attraction that children are born. and however sublimated, however enriched, restrained and conditioned, the creative power of physical passion remains at once its justification and its consecration. to use it in a relationship which must for ever be barren is "unnatural" and in the deepest sense immoral. it is not easy to define "immorality," because morality is one of the fundamentals which defy definition; but though it is not easy to define, it is not hard to recognize. all the world knows that it is immoral to prostitute the creative power of genius to mere commercialism, for money or for fame. no one can draw a hard and fast line. no one will quarrel with a great artist because he lives by his art, or because he will sometimes turn aside to amuse himself, his public, or his friends. michaelangelo is not blamed because, one winter's afternoon, he made a snow-statue for lorenzo de medici! yet all will admit that _merely_ to amuse, _merely_ to make money, _merely_ to gain popularity is a prostitution of genius. why? because it is to put to another than its real purpose the creative power of a great artist. in the same way, to use the power of another great creative impulse--that of sex--in a way which divorces it wholly from its end--creation on the physical as well as the spiritual plane--is immoral because it is "unnatural." again and again it will be found to lead to a violent reaction of feeling--a repulsion which is as intense and violent as the devotion which was its prelude. what then should those do who have this temperament? no one, perhaps, can wisely counsel them but themselves. they alone can find out the way by which the disharmony of their being can be transcended. that it can be so i am persuaded. that modern psychology has already made strides in the knowledge of this problem we all know. what is due to arrested development or to repression can be set right or liberated: what is temperamental transmuted. but i appeal to those who know this, but who have suffered and do still suffer under this difficulty, to make it their business to let in the light, to help others, to know themselves, to learn how to win harmony out of disharmony and to transcend their own limitations. let them take hold of life there where it has hurt them most cruelly, and wrest from their own suffering the means by which others shall be saved from suffering and humanity brought a little further into the light. who knows yet of what it is capable? who knows what is our ultimate goal? it may be that out of a nature so complex and so difficult may come the noblest yet, when the spirit has subdued the warring temperament wholly to itself. and to the others i would say this. if the homosexual is still the most misunderstood, maltreated, and suffering of our race, it is due to our ignorance and brutal contempt. how many have even tried to understand? how many have refrained from scorn? other troubles have been mitigated, other griefs respected if not understood. but this we refuse even to discuss. we are content to condemn in ignorance, boasting that we are too good to understand. in consequence, though a few here and there have preached homosexuality as a kind of gospel, far more have suffered an agony of shame, a self-loathing which makes life a hell. to be led to believe that one is naturally depraved!--to be condemned as the worst of sinners before one has committed even a single sin! is that not the height and depth of cruelty? do you wonder if here and there one of the stronger spirits among these condemned ones reacts in a fierce, unconscious egotism and proclaims himself the true type of humanity, the truly "civilized" man? how shall they see clearly whom we have clothed in darkness, or judge truly who are so terribly alone? to have a temperament is not in itself a sin! to find in your nature a disharmony which you must transcend, a dislocation you have to restore to order, is not a sin! whose nature is all harmony? whose temperament guarantees him from temptation? is there one here who is not conscious of some dislocation in his life that he must combat? not one! it is a disharmony to have an active spirit in a sickly body. it is a disharmony to have, like one of the very greatest of christ's disciples, "a thorn in the flesh to buffet him." who shall deliver us from this body of death? when you hear of a beethoven deaf or of a robert louis stevenson spitting blood, are you not conscious of disharmony? where there is perfect harmony--_perfect_, i say--such a dislocation could not be. epilepsy has been called "la maladie des grands," because some great ones have suffered from it. perhaps st. paul did. it is not possible to imagine christ doing so. in him there existed so perfect a harmony of being that one can no more associate him with ill-health than with any other disorder or defect. yet we do not speak (or think) with horrified contempt of the disharmony present in st. paul or in beethoven. rather we reverence the glorious conquest of the spirit over the weakness and limitations of the flesh. some of us have even rushed to the opposite extreme and preached ill-health as a kind of sanctity, in our just admiration for those who have battled against it and shown us the spirit dominant over the flesh. but, it will be urged, ill-health is quite another kind of disharmony than vice. we are not responsible for it, and cannot be blamed. i am not prepared to admit that this is altogether true, but i will not discuss it now. the point i want to make clear, if i make nothing else clear, is that to be born with a certain temperament is not in itself a sin nor does it compel you to be a sinner. "your temperament decides your trials; it does not decide your destiny." it is no more "wicked" to have the temperament of a homosexual than to have the weakness of an invalid. it is difficult for the spirit to dominate and to bring into a healthy harmony a body predisposed to illness and disorder. the greater the glory to those who succeed! let us confess with shame that in this other and far harder case we have not only ignored the difficulty and despised the struggler, but--god forgive us--have, so far as in us lay, made impossible the victory. viii misunderstandings "if there is one result or conclusion that we may pick out from the science of sex which has developed so rapidly of recent years, as thoroughly established and permanently accepted, it is that the old notion of the sinfulness of the sex process, _in se_, is superstitious, not religious; and must be discarded before ethical religion can assert its full sway over humanity's sex life. and, most assuredly, the conception narratives [of the new testament], by retaining the sex process to the important extent of normal pregnancy and parturition, foreshadowed and hallowed this development of ethical thought. they make it clear that the spirit of god and the spirit of woman, in conscious union, refuse to justify superstitious and paralyzing fears, refuse to allow that the sex process is irredeemable; they render possible and imperative the working out of the ethical problems directly concerned with sex." _northcute: christianity and sex problems_, _pp._ , . during the course of these addresses i have more than once, and with more than common urgency, pleaded for the light of knowledge, that we may in future not make so many disastrous mistakes from sheer ignorance and misunderstanding. i have been asked to say more definitely what "misunderstandings" i had in mind, and to discuss them with at least as much courage as i have so pressingly demanded from others. the demand is just; and i feel the less able to disregard it because i have discussed these very difficulties with people whose lives have been wrecked by the ignorance in which they were brought up, or saved by knowledge wisely imparted before the difficulties arose. knowledge cannot save us from hardship or difficulty; it cannot make us invulnerable to attack, or lift us above the ordinary temptations of ordinary mortals; but it can show us where we are going; it can guide us when we wish to be guided; it can save us, when we wish to be saved, from mistakes cruel to ourselves and often far more cruel to other people. for instance: it is very generally believed that the struggle for continence is greatly eased by continual and even exhausting physical activity. to work hard--to work even to exhaustion--is believed by some to be a panacea. at our great public schools the craze for athleticism is justified on the ground that, even at the expense of the things of the mind, it does at least keep the boys from moral evil. i believe this to be a mistake, and a mistake which is due to our looking at sex from a too purely physical point of view. it is, of course, imbecile to forget the physical, and deal with sex simply as a "sin"; but it is no less stupid to forget that our bodies and souls are intimately bound together, and that there is much more in passion than a merely physical instinct. as a matter of fact, a tired person is not immune from sex-hunger, and even an exhausted person is likely to find that, far from sexual feeling being exhausted too, it turns out to be the only sensation that will respond to stimulus at all. the exploitation of sexuality by our theatres and press is not successful only in the case of the idle and the overfed; it finds its patrons also among those who are too tired to put their minds into anything really interesting from an intellectual or artistic point of view, but whose attention can be distracted and whose interest held by a more or less open appeal to the primitive instincts of sex. tired people want to be amused and interested if possible; but they are not easily amused by anything that appeals to the mind, because they are tired. they want a sensation other than the customary one of fatigue, and the easiest sensation to excite is a sexual one. they get it thinly disguised, in a theatre or music-hall, more thickly disguised in the form of cheap fiction, or quite undisguised elsewhere. but the idea that sexuality is destroyed by fatigue is a very mischievous illusion which has misled and helped to destroy some of the most honest strivers after self-control. such people will, with a touching belief in saws, seek to find in exhaustion relief from temptation. but it is not amusing always to feel tired. one desires at last something else--some other kind of feeling--and one is too tired to make an effort. but sexual sensation is easily excited, and in the end the unfortunate finds that he has yielded again. his hard fight has only ended in defeat, and he either abandons the advice as mistaken, or himself as hopelessly and uniquely depraved. the truth is, of course, that what is needed is not physical exhaustion any more than physical idleness and overfeeding. what is wanted is hard and _interesting_ work--work that absorbs one's mental as well as physical strength. a boy at a public school who really cares for games can pour his energies into them and appear a fine example of the system; a boy who, though games are compulsory, cannot interest himself in them at all, is not helped by being physically exhausted. if, then, he yields to a temptation the other has escaped, this need not be because he is more wicked or more weak. it may quite well be because the insistence on athleticism, which has been elevated into a cult, in our public schools, has supplied a real and absorbing interest for the one, but has merely used the physical capacity of the other without touching his mind or his spirit at all. when shall we learn that every human being is a unity, and that to ignore any part of it--body, mind or spirit--is idiotic? the muscular christian who believes that continence is achieved by physical fatigue is as short-sighted as he who would treat the whole matter as a purely ethical problem. but the man or woman who works hard at some congenial and absorbing task--especially if it be creative work--finds the virtue of continence well within his grasp without exhaustion and without asceticism. it is because sex is essentially a creative--the creative--power in humanity that we have to direct its force into some more spiritual channel than mere physical labour, if we are to make ourselves its master. again, an increasing number of us believe that to master our physical impulses is possible; and that it has seemed impossible--at least, for men--in the past largely because so little knowledge and so little common-sense has been used in achieving mastery. naturally, it was simpler to assume that it was impossible to control oneself than to find out how to make it possible, but as we grow more civilized we cease to be perfectly content with this simple plan, and begin to perceive its extraordinary injustices and brutalities. it has been said that the civilization of any people or period may be judged by the position of its women, and though this is too simple to be quite true, it is far more true than false. if, however, civilization does raise the position of women, and assign to them a greater freedom of action and a wider scope for their lives than was theirs before, it must be clearly understood that women in these circumstances and of this type will take a quite different line on the question of sex morals than their great-grandmothers did. it is, for example, still urged that women must not do this, that or the other work, because it involves working with men whose sex instincts may be uncontrollably aroused by such collaboration. sir almroth wright has pleaded this, and it is being urged to-day against the entrance of women into what is now almost the only sphere still closed to them--the spiritual work of the churches. it is urged that some men are afraid of being sexually excited if they are addressed by a woman-preacher, and that others cannot be within the sanctuary, with a woman near them, without similar danger. the misunderstanding that arises here is, surely, that the cause of this abnormal excitement is in the woman, whereas (in the cases cited) it is in the man. there are, of course, women who find an exactly similar difficulty in working with men: women who are transformed by the mere presence of men, as there are men who cannot enter a room full of women without physical disturbance. such men, such women, are not necessarily depraved or immoral persons, their temperament may be a source of genuine distress to them. it may be most admirably controlled, and in thousands of cases it is so, especially when the sufferer understands himself or--more rarely--understands herself. all the help that psychology and medical science can give (and it is much) should be given to and accepted by such people. the one thing that should _not_ be yielded is the ridiculous claim that men and women who are not so susceptible (and who are in the vast majority) should rule their lives according to the standards of those who are sexually over-developed or one-sidedly developed. it cannot be too strongly insisted that this problem is the problem of the individual. he (or she) has got to settle it. he must learn to manage himself in such a way that he ceases to be abnormally excitable, or he must arrange his life so that he avoids, as far as possible, the causes of excitement. he must not expect others to cramp their lives to fit him; he must not expect civilization to be perverted or arrested in order to avoid a difficulty which is his own. the only alternative to this is to revert to a form of civilization in which it was frankly admitted that sex-impulses could not be controlled, either by men or by women, and society was therefore organized on a basis which, quite logically, provided for the restraint of women in a bondage which prevented them from satisfying their impulses as they chose, and at the same time protected them from attack by other men than their lawful owners; and which, further, provided conveniences for the equally uncontrollable instincts of men. this system is quite logical; so is the one here advocated, of assuming that the sexual instincts of both sexes can be controlled. what is not logical is the assumption that they _can_ be controlled, but that such control is to be exercised not by each one mastering himself, but by the removal of all possibility of temptation! this demand is really incompatible with our civilization, and those who make it should try to understand that what they ask is, in fact, the reversal of all advance in real self-control in matters of sex. let us abandon the pretence that it is "wicked" for either a man or a woman to have strongly-developed sex-instincts. when we do this, we shall be on the high way to learning how to manage ourselves without making preposterous demands upon our neighbours or inroads upon their individual freedom. we shall also, i believe, get rid of those perversions which darken understanding as well as joy. one need not go all the way with freud--one may, indeed, suspect him of suffering from a severe "repression" himself--while admitting, nevertheless, that much of the folly that surrounds our treatment of sex-questions is due to the pathetic determination of highly respectable people to have no sex nature or impulses at all. certainly this accounts for much that is called "prudery" in women, whose repressed and starved instincts revenge themselves in a morbid (mental) preoccupation with the details of vice. i am forced to the conclusion that it has also something to do with the quite extraordinary description that certain ecclesiastics give of their own inability to control their imaginations even at the most solemn moments. a narrow and dishonest moral standard has been foisted upon women in these matters, and instead of knowing themselves and learning to control their natures, they have been given a false idea of their own natures, and taught instead merely to repress them. so, very often, a curiously artificial code of manners has been accepted by the clergyman--a code which has been crystallized in a phrase by calling the clergy "the third sex"--and he, like the women, should be in revolt against it if he is to be saved. indeed, we are or should be allies, not foes. let the priest or minister wear the same kind of collar as other people, mix with them on equal terms, and then, if he has a higher moral standard than they, it will be his own standard, accepted by him because it commands his homage, and not a standard imposed on him merely because he belongs to a certain caste. it is always the code of morals imposed from without that does mischief, and results in the repressions and perversions about which modern psychology has taught us so much. it will perhaps be urged that the peculiar dangers of which ecclesiastics are conscious are due to the psychological fact that the erotic and religious emotions are closely allied. that this is a fact will hardly be doubted. but again the problem is either an individual one, _or_ it must be solved by abandoning our present position and reverting to that of an earlier and cruder civilization. it is possible to argue that eroticism and religion are so nearly allied and so easily mistaken for one another, that safety and sincerity alike demand separate worship for men and women.[f] it is also possible to leave it to the individual to manage himself, conquer where he can and flee where he cannot. but it is not possible, on grounds of religious eroticism, to protect men from listening to a woman preaching, at the cost of compelling women to listen to no one but a man; or insist on the intolerable cruelty of compelling a man-priest to celebrate mass with a woman server, while forcing the woman to make her confession to a man. [footnote f: as, _e.g._, among the mahometans and, to a less extent, the jews.] i am convinced that when religious people learn to refrain from cheap "religion" based on emotional preaching and sentimental or rowdy music, they will find that, though eroticism and religion are nearly allied and can easily be mistaken, it is not impossible to distinguish between them. the effort to do so should be made by our spiritual leaders, and when made will result in a sturdier and more thoughtful religion. while for those, whether men or women, who are honestly aware that for them certain things are impossible there will be an obvious alternative. the man who cannot forget the woman in the priest or preacher will not attend her church; the woman, of whom the same is sometimes true, will avoid the ministrations of men. there will then be less of that eroticism in religion which some of those who--by a curious perversion of logic--oppose the ministry of women actually quote as a reason for compelling women to go to men-priests because there is no one else for them to go to. ix further misunderstandings: the need for sex chivalry "men venerated and even feared women--particularly in their specifically sexual aspect--even while they bullied them; and even in corrupt and superstitious times, when the ideal of womanhood was lost sight of, women tended to get back as witches the spiritual eminence they had failed to retain as saints, matrons and saviours of society." _northcote: christianity and sex problems, p_. . chivalry is the courtesy of strength to weakness. yet women who pride themselves on their superior moral strength in regard to sex rarely feel bound to show any chivalry towards the weak. i do not myself believe that women are _as a whole_ stronger than men, or that men are _as a whole_ stronger than women; but i am sure that the sexes are relatively stronger in certain respects and at certain points, and that where one is stronger than the other, that one should feel the chivalrous obligation of strength whether man or woman. chivalry is not and ought not to be a masculine virtue solely. for example, it is quite common to be told of (or by) some girl who is an artist in flirtation that she is "quite able to take care of herself." this appears to mean that whoever suffers, she will not; and whatever is given, she will not be the giver. it is possible to go further and say that whatever she buys she will certainly not pay for. what does she buy? well, it depends, of course, on what she wants and what is her social class. but, roughly speaking, she wants both pleasure and homage--not only theatres and cinemas, ice-creams or chocolates, but the incense that goes with such things--the demonstration of her triumphant sexual charm, which evokes such offerings. of course, in a great deal of this there is no harm. people who like each other will like to please each other, to give pleasure, and to enjoy it together. but there is something beyond this which is not harmless but detestable, and that is the deliberate playing on sexual attraction in order to extract homage and to demonstrate power. a girl will sometimes play on a man as a pianist on his instrument, put a strain on him that is intolerable, fray his nerves and destroy his self-control, while she herself, protected not by virtue but frigidity, complacently affirms that she "can take care of herself." the blatant dishonesty of the business never strikes her for a moment. she takes all she wants and gives nothing in return, and honestly believes that this is because she is "virtuous." that she is a thief--and one who combines theft with torture--never occurs to her; yet it is true. observe--i do not suggest that it would be creditable if she did "pay." it would be no more so than herod's payment of john the baptist's head. but although it is wrong to take something you want and give in return what you ought not to give, it would be a curious sort of morality that would go on to argue that it is right to take all and give nothing. both transactions are immoral and one is dishonest. on the other hand, it must be remembered that a parasite _must_ take all and give nothing or as little as possible. that is the law of its being. and so long as men resent the independence of women, and enjoy the position of perpetual paymaster, so long will many women be driven to use the only weapon they have left. moreover, it is fair to say--and this is why i plead for light--that many of them are genuinely ignorant that they are playing with fire. the more frigid they are themselves, the less are they able to gauge the forces they are arousing; the more ignorant they are, the less possible is it for them to be chivalrous to those whose strength and weakness they alike misunderstand. the half-knowledge, the instinctive arts, which girls sometimes display continually mislead men into thinking them a great deal cleverer than they are. each is ignorant of the other's weakness, and each puts the other in danger because of that ignorance. i once spoke to a big meeting of girls in the neighbourhood of a big camp, during the war; and reflecting on the difficult position of the men--their segregation from ordinary feminine society, their distance from their homes, their unoccupied hours, and the inevitable nervous and emotional strain of preparing for the front--i tried to make the girls realize how hard they could make it for the men to keep straight, if they were ignorant or foolish themselves. i knew--and said so--that the girls were in a difficult position too; but, after all, they prided themselves on being the more "moral" (_i.e._ the stronger) sex, and should be chivalrous. afterwards i got a reproachful letter from a woman-patrol, who assured me that if anything went wrong, it was not the fault of the girls. "they are a rough lot," she wrote, "and, of course, they like to have a soldier to walk out with. they like to romp with the men, and to kiss them, and perhaps they do go rather far in letting the men pull them about. but they have no intention whatever of going any further. if things do go further, it is the men's fault, not the girls'." i could hardly have a better instance of the sort of thing i mean. the girls want to have "fun" up to a certain point, and there stop. it does not occur to them that there may be a difference in the point at which they propose--or wish--to stop, and that at which the man can. that there is any physiological or psychological factor in the case which makes stopping possible at one moment and next-door to impossible at another, and that these factors may differ between the sexes, so that one cannot stop just where the other can, is quite a new idea not only to factory girls but to women-patrols--at least to some of them. a girl will cheerfully start a man rushing down an inclined plane and then complain because he continues rushing till he reaches the bottom. well, in a sense, we ought not to complain of either of them: we ought to challenge the senseless way in which they are kept in the dark about each other. in these days, when so much greater liberty is accorded to boys and girls than was given in the past, the friends of liberty should insist with obstinacy on the need for knowledge. for if liberty is unaccompanied and unguided by knowledge, its degeneration into licence will be triumphantly used by the lovers of bondage as an argument against liberty itself. let me then say boldly that i am all for liberty. i want boys and girls, men and women, to see far more of each other and get to know each other much better than in the past. i believe in co-education, and in _real_ co-education--not the sham that is practised in some of our universities and colleges. i see the risks and i want to take them. i know there will be "disasters," and i think them much less disastrous than those attending the methods of obscurantism and restraint. i think the idea that a boy and girl may not touch each other introduces a silly atmosphere of unreal "romance" where commonplace friendship is what is wanted. but with all this, and _because_ of all this, i want a girl to know that a boy's body and mind are not _exactly_ like hers; and perhaps a boy to know that a girl's is not totally _unlike_ his! in what way do they differ? the male, i think, is more liable to sudden gusts of passion, of violence so great as to be almost uncontrollable--at least so nearly so as to make it both cruel and stupid to arouse them. a woman's nature is not (generally) so quickly stirred. she takes longer to move (hence the universal fact of courtship). or rather it might be more accurate to say that he and she may both start at the same time from the same point, but she takes longer to reach the end, and because this is so, is more capable of stopping before the end is reached. this she does not understand, and expects that if _she_ can pause, so can _he_; while he also misunderstands, and does not know that there is for her, just as much as for him, a moment when self-control becomes impossible. i have said so much about the lack of chivalry shown by women to men that it is only reasonable to point out that the reverse is true, and that men are often extraordinarily unchivalrous towards women. the cause is, of course, the same: they do not realize what a strain they are putting on them. there is still a very general assumption, even by those who really know better, that women have no passions and are untempted from within. i have often been assured by "men of the world" that "a woman can always stop a man if she wants to." no doubt she can--some men. she can "stop them if she wants to." the trouble is that a time comes when she cannot want to. the bland assumption that a man has a perfect right to play on a woman's sex-instincts till they are beyond control, and then call her the guilty one because they _are_ beyond control, is based on the age-old determination not to recognize the full humanity of women. they are "different" from men. so they are. i have admitted it. but the likeness is much greater than the difference. and neither the likeness nor the difference makes self-control an easy thing for her. it is easier up to a certain point, because she is more slowly moved; it is harder when that point is reached because her whole nature is involved. she has never learnt to say that she can give her body to one while remaining spiritually faithful to another, and perhaps she never will learn. i at least suspect so. she may be as fickle as a man, but it will be in a different way. of course, in all this i generalize very rashly from a very narrow experience. my excuse is that these things must be discussed if we are ever to generalize more safely, or to learn that we must not generalize at all. and i have come to the conclusion that it is perhaps as possible to know something of what is or is not true when one is unmarried as when one is married. at least one escapes the snare into which so many married people surprisingly fall, of generalizing from an experience which is not merely as narrow as everyone's must be, but actually unique; which enables them to pronounce with stupefying confidence that all men are as this man is; all women as his wife; and all marriages as his marriage. when one has had the honour of receiving the confidence of a succession of such prophets and heard them pronounce in turn, but in an entirely different sense, upon the difficulties or easinesses of sex-relationships, always with a full assurance that they are right, not only in their own case but universally, one begins to make a few tentative generalizations oneself in the hope that they will at least provoke discussion and engender light. x "the sin of the bridegroom" "a deathless bubble from the fresh lips blown of cherubim at play about god's throne seemed her virginity. she dreamed alone dreams round and sparkling as some sea-washed stone. then an oaf saw and lusted at the sight. they smashed the thing upon their wedding night." _dunch, susan miles._ something has been said by others of one of the most fruitful sources of misunderstanding between men and women, where misunderstanding is likely to have the most disastrous results--what has been called by rosegger "the sin of the bridegroom." perhaps "sin" is a mistaken word. if irreparable harm is often done on the wedding night, it is quite as much due to ignorance as to cruelty. nothing is more astonishing than the widespread ignorance of men _and women_ of the fact that courtship is not a mere convention, or a means of flattering the vanity of women, but a physiological necessity if there is to be any difference at all between the union of lovers and a rape. it is all, i suppose, part of the old possessive idea which, making of a woman something less than a human personality with wishes, desires and temperament of her own, forbade the man to realize or even to know that her body has its needs as well as his, and that to regard it merely as an instrument is to be in danger of real cruelty. you can bargain for the possession of a violin and the moment it is yours, may play upon it. it is yours. if you are in the mood to play, it must be ready for you. if it is not, then tune it, and it will be.[g] but a human being cannot be treated so in any human relationship. it needs mutual patience and mutual respect to make a relationship human. [footnote g: but even a violin will need to be tuned.] this simple fact, however, has been so little understood of lovers, that husbands have, in genuine ignorance of the cruelty they were committing, raped their wives on their wedding night. judging by what one knows of wedding-days, it could hardly be supposed that there could be a more unpropitious moment for the consummation of marriage. and when to the fatigue and strain of the day is added--_as is still quite often the case_--blank though uneasy ignorance as to what marriage involves, or the thunderbolt of knowledge (_sic_) launched by the bride's mother the night before, or the morning of the day itself, it would be difficult with the utmost deliberation and skill better to ensure absolute repulsion and horror on the part of the bride. i think that any man who would consider this from the bride's point of view would see that she need not necessarily be cold or unresponsive because, in such circumstances, she needs rest and consideration more than passion. but i wish men could know a little more than this, and understand that to enforce physical union when a woman's psychical and emotional nature does not desire it, is definitely and physically cruel. woman is not a passive instrument, and to treat her as such is to injure her. perhaps i may be forgiven for labouring this point because, in fact, misunderstanding here is so disastrous. marriage, after all, is a relation into which the question of physical union enters, and if there is no equality of desire, marriage will be much less than it might be. women are--idiotically--taught to believe that passion is a characteristic of the depraved woman and of the normal man, who is shown by this fact to be on a lower spiritual level than (normal) woman. this senseless pride in what is merely a defect of temperament where it exists has poisoned the marital relations of many men and women, and has led women into marrying when they were temperamentally unfitted for such a relation, and quite unable to make anyone happy in it. nor ought they to be too much blamed, since they are often unaware of what they ought to be prepared to give in marriage and firmly convinced that their preposterous ignorance is in some inexplicable way a virtue. why it should be admirable, or even commonly honest, to undertake duties of whose nature you are ignorant, neither men nor women seem ever to have decided, and the illusion is beginning to pass. but it is still not understood that the woman who is not temperamentally asexual may easily be made so by being forced when she is not ready, and physically hurt when a little patience and tenderness would have saved her. forel, havelock, ellis and others have insisted on this, but their books are unfortunately not easily accessible to the general public; and something may be added to the more widely read productions of dr. stopes.[h] not only the physiological but the psychological side of the problem has to be considered, and it would be hard to decide which is the more important or which the _vera causa_ of the other's reaction. scientists may perhaps tell us some day: here i want only to point out that there is a spiritual factor in the case which needs at least to be recognized. [footnote h: _married love_, _wise parenthood_, and _radiant motherhood_. by marie carmichael stopes.] is passion a cause or an effect? in other words, should physical union be the expression of spiritual union? is it the "outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace?" or is it a means by which that grace is achieved? i think the first instinct of most women would be to say that spiritual union should be _expressed_ by physical union, and that unless this spiritual union exists the physical union is "wrong." and yet everyone who stops to think will admit that the expression of an emotion deepens it. one can "work oneself up into a rage" by shouting and swearing. one can deepen love by expressing love. it is noticeable that the whole case for birth control has repeatedly been argued from the ground that the act of physical union not only expresses but intensifies and increases love. marriage is the most difficult of human relations, because it is the most intimate and the most permanent. to live so close to another--who, in spite of all, _remains_ another--to be brought so near, to associate so intimately with another personality, without jarring or wounding--that is hard. no wonder it is not invariably a success! but passion makes it possible to many to whom, without this, it would not be possible. ultimately passion should be transcended since in any case it must be left behind. yet it has served its end, in deepening and intensifying the love of two people for one another. where then lies the difficulty, since probably men and women alike would agree that what i have said is true? the difference of view is perhaps more in practice than in theory; yet it is all the harder of adjustment for that. in theory, both men and women would agree that physical union, ideally, should express a spiritual union; and that in doing so, it deepens and intensifies it. but it is still possible to disagree as to which of these two aspects of an admitted truth is the more vital and fundamental. it may be, as i have already suggested, that the woman's point of view is due to her physiology; or it may at least be influenced by it. at least, i am convinced that to the woman the sense that physical union is _only_ justified by already existent spiritual union, is the normal one. i believe that, however incapable she may be of explaining it, and however her power of reasoning may be vitiated by wrong ideas about the sexual relation, she does instinctively recoil from its use when its reason for existence is not there. she may attribute her reluctance to the fact that she is too womanly (_sic_), too spiritually minded to have any desire for sexual relations at all; her husband may attribute it to coldness of temperament or "modesty." in fact, it is due to the cause i have stated, and if she had never been called upon to give her body except when her own desire for the "outward and visible sign" of an "inward and spiritual grace" demanded it, her husband would have found that she was not temperamentally defective, but as good a lover as he. no one who lives in the world at all can fail to understand that in every human relationship, and supremely in this one, there must be much mutual accommodation, much give and take, a great gentleness to every claim made in the name of love. all i am concerned to do here is to help to clear up misunderstandings. it is no claim that i put forward that the woman's point of view is superior to the man's: merely that they seem to me a little different. a man who is conscious of jarring, who finds himself a little at cross-purposes with the woman he loves, and yet knows that the jarring is merely superficial and the love profound, may easily feel that to ask and offer once more the supreme expression of that love is the best way to transcend the temporary lack of sympathy and restore love to its right place and true proportion. who shall say that he is wrong? is it not certain that the expression of love does intensify and deepen love? is not a sacrament the means of grace as well as its symbol. yet let him be warned. he may easily seem to his wife to be contenting himself with the symbol without the reality, the body without the soul. if she understands him, she may go with him. if she does not, no yielding on her part--no physical passion that he may arouse--will quite stifle the protest which tells her that she suffers spiritual violation. do you remember the cry of julie in "the three daughters of m. dupont"? "_it is a nightly warfare in which i am always defeated_." that her physical nature is suborned to aid in the conquest only increases for her the sense of degradation. this difference in point of view affects the relations of men and women far more widely than is realized, since it is apt to arise wherever the physical comes in at all--and where does it not? not a touch only, or a caress, but all deliberate appeal to sexual feeling becomes more difficult to women as they grow more civilized. it is perhaps difficult for a man to realize, in the atmosphere of giggles and whispers with which sex is surrounded in the theatre, the novel and the press, how revolting it becomes to modern women to be expected to use such means for "holding" a lover, or extorting concessions from one who is "held." it was much easier, i suppose, when women did not understand what they were about. one sees that to such women it is comparatively easy to-day. and the position is complicated by inheritance of the age-old conviction that a woman is supremely woman when she can bend a man by precisely these means. but the revolt is here. and--for the sake of clearness--what i am concerned to show is that a woman is not necessarily asexual or cold because she will not use an appeal to sexuality in order to get what she wants. she may have all the "temperament" in the world, but she has also self-respect, and she revolts from the idea of exploiting for advantage what should be sacramental. i believe that a better understanding on this point would save not only great disasters but an infinity of small jars and strains, and if i have put the woman's point of view at some length it is partly because i understand it better, but chiefly because it is comparatively "modern" to admit that she has a point of view to put. once understood, it becomes easier to understand also the startling successes and disastrous failures which attend the remarkable practice of "teaching a woman to love after she is married." the extent to which social tabus and prudery may actually inhibit a woman's natural sexual development makes it possible, as we have seen, for her to marry in ignorance of what marriage implies. when this happens, her love, though it may be noble, altruistic and spiritual, does not involve her whole nature. her husband, if he respects her sufficiently, will be able to awaken that which sleeps, and in accordance with the undoubted truth that expression intensifies love, he does "teach her to love" him not only in one sense but in all. on the other hand, if she does not already love him, he will not succeed in "teaching" her anything but disgust if he dreams that by compelling physical union he can create spiritual union. evidently it is a singularly dangerous attempt! it is to be hoped that in future no woman will run such risks out of ignorance, but that lovers will, before they marry, understand what each expects, what each desires to give, and at least _start_ fair. this is no less important with regard to other matters in which marriages are often wrecked. surely people who propose to spend their lives together ought to know (for example) whether children are desired and whether many or few; and what the attitude of either is on the vexed subject of birth control. imagine the case of a husband who thinks the use of contraceptives right and wishes to use them; and a wife who thinks them absolutely wrong and, being warned by the doctor that she must not have more children, cheerfully, and with perfect conviction that she is acting nobly, invites her husband to run the risk of causing her death! yet i have known such cases. i do not enter into the question of birth control, because it has been and is being discussed much more freely than in the past, and by married people who are much better able to estimate the difficulties and advantages on either side of the question than any unmarried person can possibly be. since, however, i am continually asked at least to give my personal opinion, for what it is worth, and since it is true that i have heard a good deal (on both sides) from those who _are_ married, i will say briefly that it seems to me of supreme importance ( ) that every child that is born should be _desired_, and ( ) that no mother's time and strength should be so far overtaxed as to prevent her giving to each child all the love and individual care that it requires. this necessitates control of the birth-rate, for a baby every year means a too-hurried emptying of the mother's arms. but i disagree--very diffidently--with the majority of my friends and acquaintances who hold that the right and best method is the use of contraceptives. i do not think it the best; i do not think it ideal. unlike some authorities who must be heard with respect, i can say with confidence that some of the noblest, happiest and most romantic marriages i know base their control of conception not on contraceptives but on abstinence. they are not prigs, they are not asexual, they do not drift apart, and they have no harsh criticism to make on those who have decided otherwise. these are facts, and it is useless to ignore them. on the other hand, it is equally true that sometimes such an attempt at self-control leads to nervous strain, irritability and alienation. these also are facts. personally, i would submit marital relations to the two tests i have proposed, and add that we have succeeded in oversexing ourselves to an extent which cannot be ignored; that we have "repressed" till we are obsessed; and that, before we right ourselves, we shall have to make many experiments, try many roads, and suffer many things. it is then above all necessary that we be very gentle to one another and even a little patient with ourselves. i conceive it much better to use contraceptives than to bear unwanted children; i conceive it also better to use them than to be cruel to others or become neurotic oneself; but that it is the ideal i do not believe. xi common-sense and divorce law reform "those whom _god_ hath joined together let no man put asunder." in view of what i have said[i] about our marriage and divorce laws, several people have asked what i should actually propose in the way of reform, and i am glad to take the opportunity of a new edition briefly to answer this question. [footnote i: see chapter v.] i do not wish to see reform take the line of a longer list of "causes" for divorce, such, for example, as drunkenness, insanity, imprisonment for life, and so on. i should prefer to abolish these lists altogether, and to bring all divorce cases under some form of "equitable jurisdiction," each case being decided on its merits. it should be the business of the court to decide whether the marriage desired to be invalidated has _in actual fact_ any validity or reality at all; and to declare the couple divorced if it has not. in such courts men and women (or a man and a woman) should act together as judges. it will be urged that to decide such a question is beyond the power of any human judgment; but i submit that in fact such decisions are being given every day. a judge who grants a judicial separation is deciding that _a marriage has ceased to be real or valid_, and he divorces the couple _a mensa et thoro_, though leaving them without the power to marry again. he actually "puts them asunder" more rigidly than a divorced couple. since this is possible, it cannot be impossible for him to decide that the marriage must be wholly dissolved, with freedom of re-marriage to other partners; though such a decision, being even more grave, should not be reached without certain safeguards. these safeguards should include that teaching about marriage on which i have insisted throughout the whole of this book. young people should know what sex is and involves: what marriage is: how necessary to the welfare of the race, their children and themselves are fidelity and love. they should know that unless they believe that their love is indeed for life they ought not to marry. they should understand that to fail here is to fail most tragically. if, nevertheless, a man and woman believe that their marriage is a complete and hopeless failure, their claim to be released from it should not be granted in haste. a period of years should in any case elapse before divorce can be obtained, and every effort should be used to reconcile the two, to remove any removable cause of difficulty, to convince them of the possibility of making good, by loyalty, unselfishness and a deep sense of responsibility, even an incomplete and desecrated bond. if, however, it is clear that for no worthy consideration can they be induced to take up again the duties and responsibilities of marriage--if they remain immovably and rationally convinced that their marriage is not a real marriage--they should be released. and this because it is not moral but immoral, not christian, but unchristian, to pretend that a marriage is real and sacred _when it is not_. if there is one quality more striking than another in the teaching of christ, it is his emphasis on reality. it is in this that the height and depth of his morality stand revealed. we do no service--we do a profound dis-service--to morals when we admit that a marriage is so utterly devoid of reality that the best thing we can do for a "married couple" is to separate them from each other altogether--set them apart--free them from each other's "rights"--break up their home--and yet maintain the legal lie that they are still a married couple. it will be asked how the interests of the children can be safeguarded. the interests of children are best safeguarded by the education and enlightenment of parents. they cannot be wholly saved if, after all, their parents have ceased to love or respect one another, for nothing the law can do will make up to them for that which is every child's right--a home ruled by love and full of happiness. the best that can then be done is to rescue them from the misery of a home full of unhappiness and hatred, and to assign them to the parent who, in the judgment of the court, is best fitted to care for them. let me add that, while i hold that the persistent and unconquerable conviction of two people that they ought to be divorced ought ultimately to entitle them to it, this should not be the case if one only of two married people seeks release. in this case, the decision should be entirely with the court. to those who feel that not only our lord's words but also the interpretation put upon those words by the church is of supreme importance, the following statement will be of interest: "it is quite arguable that relief may be granted on the grounds that what is impossible cannot be done. it may be shown on the one hand that to such and such a person it is morally impossible to live with such and such another person, and on the other hand that it is morally impossible to live without marriage. in such instances there is room for the exercise of our 'dispensation from the impediment of the legamen' (bond). this is the practice of the eastern church, which allows the innocent party to re-marry, and also grants relief in cases of incurable insanity." with regard to the western church, "divorce and subsequent re-marriage in pre-reformation days were only allowed on grounds existing before the contract was entered into. (there seems good reason for the belief that our lord's words as recorded by st. matthew refer to prenuptial unchastity.) but in spite of this apparently narrow restriction there were fourteen grounds on which a marriage could be declared null and void before the reformation, and it was constantly being done. canonists and theologians taught that the full and _free_ consent of parties was essential to marriage--which teaching obviously would enable a very wide view of the subject to be taken."[j] [footnote j: from a "memorandum on divorce," published in _the challenge_, july , .] sane sex life and sane sex living some things that all sane people ought to know about sex nature and sex functioning; its place in the economy of life, its proper training and righteous exercise h.w. long, m.d. _authorized edition_ eugenics publishing co., inc. new york made in the united states of america to my fellow-members of the medical profession into whose hands this book may come, and to all who may read it under their direction, this volume is most sincerely dedicated by the author. note to the reader in order to gain a correct impression of the book, it is essential that it be read from the beginning to the end without any skipping whatsoever. once read, it can be re-read, here and there, as the reader may desire. but for a first reading, it is the earnest wish of the author that every word be read, for in no other way can the purpose of the book be realized. introduction as we have moved down the ages, now and then, from the religious teacher, the statesman, the inventor, the social worker, or from the doctor, surgeon, or sexologist, there has been a "_vox clamantis in deserto_." usually these voices have fallen on unheeding ears; but again and again some delver in books, some student of men, some inspired, self-effacing, or altruistic one has taken up the cry; and at last unthinking, unheeding, superficial, self-satisfied humanity has turned to listen. aristotle by the sure inductive method learned and taught much, concerning the sex relations of men and women, that it would profit us today to heed. balzac, luther, michelet, spencer, and later, at our very doors, krafft-ebbing, forel, bloch, ellis, freud, hall, and scores of others have added their voices. all these have seen whither we were drifting, and have made vigorous protests according to their lights. many of these protests should have been heard, but were not, and only now are just beginning to be heeded. such pioneers in the field of proper, healthful, ethical, religious, sane daily sex living, have been sturgis and malchow, who talked earnestly to an unheeding profession of these things, and now, i have the honor to write an introductory word to a book in this field, that is sane, wise, practical, entirely truthful, and unspeakably necessary. i can endorse the teachings in dr. long's book more fully because i have, for nearly a quarter of a century, been holding similar views, and dispensing similar, though perhaps less explicit, information. i know from long observation that the teaching is wholesome and necessary, and that the results are universally uplifting. such teachings improve health, prolong life, and promote virtue, adding to the happiness and lessening the burdens of men, on the one hand; on the other, reducing their crimes and vices. a book like this would have proved invaluable to me on my entrance to the married state; but had i had it, i might not have been forced to acquire the knowledge which enables me now to state with all solemnity, that i personally know hundreds of couples whose lives were wrecked for lack of such knowledge, and that i more intimately know hundreds of others to whom verbal teaching along the lines he has laid down, has brought happiness, health and goodness. dr. long advances no theories; neither do i. he has found by studying himself and other people, a sane and salutary way of sex living, and fearlessly has prescribed this to a limited circle for a long time. i congratulate him for his perspicacity, temerity, and wisdom. he offers no apology, and there is no occasion for any. he says, "all has been set down in love, by a lover, for the sake of lovers yet to be, in the hope of helping them on toward a divine consummation." that is, he has developed these ideas at home, and then spread them abroad, or, he has found them abroad and brought them home; and they worked. i also speak somewhat _ex experientia_ and have some intimate personal knowledge of many of these things. therefore, i advocate his doctrine, the more readily, and maintain that humanity needs these ideas as much today as when m. jules lemaitre wrote his late introduction to michelet's _l'amour_. he said: "_il ne parait pas, apres quarante ans passes, que les choses aillent mieux, ni que le livre de michelet ait rien perdu de son a-propos_." twenty years more have elapsed and things have not yet become much better. frank sex talks like dr. long's teaching are as a-propos today as was michelet's book when it was written, or when, after forty years had passed m. lemaitre wrote his introduction. idealism is right, and we all approve it; so much so, that many of us cannot see that ultra-idealism, extremism in right, (it is foolish to attempt to attain anything better than the best) may be wrong. undoubtedly, entire devotion to the material and physical, is also wrong; but we never must lose sight of the palpable fact that, unless we have a proper, stable, natural, well-regulated physical or material foundation, we must fall short of all ideals. proper physical adjustments enable the realization of realizable ideals. unrealizable ideals are chimeras pursued into futurity, while a world that should be human and happy waits in vice and misery. i gather that dr. long believes that reducing this vice and misery, and increasing human happiness and improving health are suitable works with which to companion a faith in the arbiter of our destinies. if thus he develops his idea of the integrity of the universe, i agree with him fully. his book, since it delineates the numerous details of a normal sex life, can be sold, thanks to our prudish public, only to the profession. i believe it should go to the larger public as it has gone formerly to his smaller community. in spite of imperfect ideals the orient has endured, while we of the occident are fast becoming decadent. we, by learning something of the art of love, and of the natural life of married people, from the hindoos, may perpetuate our civilization. they, by adopting the best of our transcendentalism, may reach higher development than we yet have attained. the time has come for a book like this to command the attention of medical men, since now an awakened public demands from them, as the conservers of life and the directors of physiological living, explicit directions in everything pertaining to the physician's calling, not omitting the intimate, intricate, long taboo and disdained details of sex life and procreation. w.f. robie, m.d. contents introduction by dr. w.f. robie, author of "the art of love" need for facts about sex and love--present ignorance of sex relations--sex information improves health, prolongs life, promotes virtue, adds to happiness--frank talks needed--this book describes details of normal sex life, describes art of love, gives explicit instructions pertaining to intimacies of sex life. foreword answers problems of sex life in the delicate relations of marriage--most people too timid to reveal reasons for their sexual difficulties--knowledge in a book less embarrassing to gain--never before could people find facts they wanted to know most--this book prepared especially to help husbands and wives to live wholesome sex lives--gives them facts all married people should know--explains how to use that information to make marriage a success--especially valuable for newlyweds if read on honeymoon--those now married who do not get on well together will find in this book relief from suffering and woe. explanatory introduction wrong teachings about sex--children brought up in ignorance on sex matters--no information given by parents, schools, churches--but children will find out even if they go to wrong sources--some one must tell the truth--this book does it. the argument and the information until recently it was a crime to give knowledge concerning sex relations--sex knowledge denied through selfishness or prudery--this is wrong because sex is of highest importance to human beings--ills, crimes, misfortunes are result when people are forced to be ignorant of knowledge they need--condemned to suffer tortures when they might enjoy delights--sex is clean and natural--at last sex knowledge may be given freely--advice in this book gained from personal and professional experience. the correct mental attitude definite information now given which will help husbands and wives to find perpetual and increasing happiness all their lives--duty of brides and grooms to acquaint themselves with each other's sexual needs--no man or woman should be ashamed of the sexual make-up--they should be proud of their sexual functions and virility--read the book without shame or shock--gaining honest truth about these matters is most essential to life. the sex organs male sex organs are penis and testicles--size and form of penis when at rest and during sexual excitement--position of testicles--why one teste is larger--pubic regions in men and women. female sex organs are vulva, vaginal passage, womb, and ovaries--length of vaginal passage compared with distended penis--size and formation of womb--position of ovaries. function of the sex organs primary purpose of sex in the human race--life is the result of union of two forces--birth the same in human beings as in other forms of life--process of conception in female--how female ovum is fertilized by male--when puberty begins and ends in women. menstruation, its cause and meaning--when ovum may be impregnated--origin of sperm in man--purpose of prostate gland--what semen is--for birth of new life union of male and female sex organs necessary--glans penis in man and clitoris in woman are "exciting" focal points--climax of coitus. use of sexual organs to produce offspring same in mankind as in animals--one way in which human beings differ from animals in sex relations--coitus possible in animals only in "rutting" season--in human beings coitus enjoyable at any time--what this difference means to happiness--the basis of real success in marriage--married people can reach highest conditions of wedlock when they know and practice what is right in sex--no "rights" conferred in sex relations through the ceremony of marriage. different views of sexual relations for purpose of happiness--padlocks to prevent exercise of sexual functions--effect of falsehoods about sex relations--innocent brides and goody-good husbands--differences of opinion by brides and grooms lead to terrible wrongs on marriage night--false teaching often results in the "rape of the wedding night"--how definite knowledge prevents this shock to bride and makes for perfect bliss--the second kind of coitus reserved only for human beings can bring highest physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. the act of coitus coitus consists of four parts or acts--where ninety-nine one-hundredths of all married troubles begin--usually husband's fault due to ignorance or carelessness. first part of act of coitus--difference between men and women in time needed for sexual readiness--women usually slower--prostatic flow and pre-coital secretion--coitus harmful when either partner not fully ready for sexual union--taking time most important feature--special information for newlyweds--woman's fear of "something new" and of pregnancy--husband should not insist upon "rights"--evils which follow this wrong attitude--true marriage based on mutual love--key to married happiness--married love needs continual care by husband and wife--instructions for performing first part of act of coitus. second part of act of coitus--many positions possible--best position--instructions for performing second part of act of coitus. third part of act of coitus--a common mistake made by many wives, especially young brides--need for complete freedom on part of woman--length of time required--skill and intensity needed by husband and wife--instructions for performing third part of act of coitus. fourth and final part of act of coitus--when done correctly greatest of all human experiences--what happens to the man--what occurs in the woman--no connection with possibility of pregnancy--designed by nature especially for woman's satisfaction and pleasure--special instruction for husband and wife--review of all the four parts of the act of coitus. the first union special conditions which must be considered when bride is to have first sexual congress--her state of mind--need for better acquaintance--what both bride and groom should know about the woman's sex organs; where located, parts, how constructed, sensitivity--how shape and size of mouth indicate shape and size of woman's sex organs. the hymen or "maidenhead"--meaning of its presence or absence--how it may be removed without danger or pain--first union should be accomplished by mutual desire and effort--chances of conception in coitus--desire for children. the right to have children when wanted--a matter of choice--difference between infanticide, abortion and prevention of pregnancy--how husband and wife can tell when there is no danger of impregnation--a rule of coitus which should never be violated--what information about pregnancy may be gained from menstrual period--most women have two weeks of "free time" each month--freedom from fear an accomplishment which adds to happiness of marriage. the art of love must be learned and mastered because partners in marriage often not matched physically or psychically--ordinary cases of physical mismatching--difference in size of sex organs may produce unfortunate results--how to discover physical mismatching--how to correct it--instructions for overcoming physical mismatching. psychical mismatching--differences between men and women cause for great dissatisfaction if not known and corrected--instructions for correcting psychical mismatching if husband is at fault; if wife is at fault--extending time of first part of coitus--inducing pre-coital flow in woman--essential that first part of coitus be continued until woman is ready for second part--necessity for husband to know ways to extend time of third part of coitus--"keeping the cap on"--what wife can do to correct physical and psychical mismatching. sex stimulation is right and wholesome--instructions if normal sex relations are impossible--special information on sex stimulation for brides and grooms--valuable addition to sex knowledge. coitus reservatus a mental and spiritual love embrace--fulfillment of courting--specially valuable during time when woman is not "free"--value of sexual stimulation if not carried to excess. frequency of coitus--men who wear themselves out--women who wear out their husbands--mismatching in sexual temperament and desire--how to correct it--women who are anesthetic to sexual desire, and how to overcome it--impotence in men. how late in life can coitus be practiced with benefit to health--danger of withholding sex functioning--sex organs able to function until late in life--sexual desires in women after "change in life"--proof that art of love must be learned and that it can bring lifelong happiness. cleanliness need for keeping body clean, sexual reaction--parts of body woman should be specially careful to keep clean--portion of body man should be specially careful to clean--effect of mouth and armpit odors. pregnancy complete home with children supreme attainment of life--begetting children should be deliberate choice by parents--proper time for begetting children--danger of waiting too long to have children--when first child should be born--at what age of parents should children be born. is coitus wise during pregnancy--how the art of love provides for this time--passions of women during period of pregnancy--criminal for husband to compel coitus upon wife unless desired by her. conclusion book written with purpose of helping lover on towards divine consummation--two final instructions--become master of the art of love--learn science of procreation. about married people who cannot have children--a guide to happiness--chief facts of true marriage. foreword _to members of the medical profession into whose hands this book may come_: the following pages are more in the nature of a manuscript, or heart-to-heart talk between those who have mutual confidence in each other, than of a technical, or strictly scientific treatise of the subject in hand; and i cannot do better, for all parties concerned, than to explain, just here in the beginning, how this came about, and why i have concluded to leave the copy practically as it was originally written. in common with nearly all members of our profession who are engaged in the general practice of medicine, i have had numbers of married men and women, husbands and wives, patients and otherwise, who have come to me for counsel and advice regarding matters which pertain to their sex-life, as that problem presented itself to them personally. as we all know, many of the most serious and complicated cases we have to deal with have their origins in these delicate relations which so often exist among wedded people, of all classes and varieties. for a number of years i did what i could for these patrons of mine, by way of confidential talks and the like, my experience in this regard probably being about on a par with that of my medical brethren who are engaged in the same kind of work. it is needless to say that i found, as you have doubtless found under the same conditions, many obstacles to prevent satisfactory results, by this method of procedure. my patients were often so reticent, or timid and shame-faced, that it was frequently difficult to get at the real facts in their cases, and, as we all know, many of these would, for these and other reasons, conceal more than they revealed, thereby keeping out of evidence the most vital and significant items in their individual cases. all these things, of course, tended to make bad matters worse, or resulted in nothing that was really worth while. after some years of this sort of experience, and meditating much on the situation, i came to the conclusion that a very large percentage of all this trouble which i and my patrons had to go up against, was almost entirely the result of ignorance on the part of those who came to consult me; and because knowledge is always the antidote for not knowing, i came to the conclusion that, if it were possible to "put these people wise" where they were now so uninformed, i might at once save them from a deal of harm and myself from much trouble and annoyance. further than this, i remembered once hearing a wise man say that often "what cannot be said may be sung"; and i realized that it is equally true that much which would be awkward, or embarrassing, if said to a person, face to face, might be got to them in writing with impunity. this i found to be especially true of my women patients, some of whom might become suspicious of a wrong intent from the things said in a private conversation, when they would have no such fears or doubts if they read the same words from a printed page. it was these considerations which first suggested to me the writing of the following pages. still other reasons why i did as i did were as follows: you see, at once, if you stop to think about it, that the writing out of the knowledge i proposed to impart was really a matter of necessity for me, because of the _saving of time_ which would thereby be secured. to get any results that would be worth while in these matters, i would be required to tell about ever so many things concerning which they were totally ignorant; and to tell about ever so many things, by word of mouth, to each individual patient, _takes time_--ever so much time, if the work is well done, and it had better not be done at all if it is not well done. so i really was forced to write out what i wanted to teach these patients of mine. and let me say further that i was compelled to write these things out for my people as i have written them, because, in all the range of literature on this vital subject, i knew of nothing which would tell them just what it seemed to me they ought to be told, and what they ought to know. and so it was that i wrote the manuscript which is now printed in the following pages. i did not write it at first just as it now stands, because experience showed me, from time to time, where my first efforts could be modified and improved. so what is here presented is the result of many practical demonstrations of the real working value of what the manuscript contains. my method of using the copy has been something as follows: as i have already suggested, what i have written has been prepared for the sole and express purpose of helping husbands and wives to live sane and wholesome sex-lives--to give them the requisite knowledge for so doing; knowledge of themselves and of each other as sexual beings; the correct ideas regarding such right manner of living; to disabuse their minds of wrong sex-teaching, or no teaching at all, of ignorance, or prudery, or carelessness, or lust--in a word, to get to them the things that all sane married people ought to know, and to help them to practice these things, to the best of their several abilities. (perhaps i ought to say that there is not a line of what i have written that deals with the subject of venereal diseases, any of them. this field is already so well covered by a literature especially devoted to this subject that it needs no word of mine to make it as satisfactory as possible, as far as discoveries regarding the same have progressed. my attempt is toward making marriage more of a success than it now is, under existing conditions; and we all know that there is a limitless field for exploration and exploitation right there.) speaking somewhat generally, i have found what i have written to be of special value to two classes of my patrons: first, to the "newly-weds"; and, second, to those who have been married for a longer or shorter period, and who "have not got on well together." a word or two regarding each of these: it is a wise old saying that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," and in no other experience of life is this so true as in the ills to which married people are peculiarly subject. many a newly wedded couple have wrecked the possibilities of happiness of a life time on their "honeymoon trip"; and it is a matter of common knowledge to the members of our profession that the great majority of brides are practically raped on their entrance into the married relation. further than this, we all know that these things are as they are chiefly because of the ignorance of the parties concerned, rather than because they deliberately meant to do wrong. they were left to travel, alone and unguided, over what was to them an unknown way, one that was beset with pitfalls and precipices, and where dangers lurked in every forward step they took. it is to these that i have found what i have written to be a great help at the time of their utmost need; and the thanks i have received from such parties have been beyond the power of words to express. as to just when it is best to put this information into the hands of young married people, my experience has varied with the personality of the parties concerned. in some cases i have put the copy into their hands some time before their marriage; in others, not till some time thereafter; but, as a rule, i have got the best results by putting the manuscript into their hands just at the time of their marriage, and in most of these cases the greatest success has come from their reading it together during their honeymoon. however, this is a matter on which i do not care to advise, and regarding which each practitioner must act to the best of his own judgment. once more: because it is not safe to assume that young married people are already possessed of the _details_ of the essential knowledge which they ought to possess, and because such _details_ are the _very heart_ of the whole matter, i have made these details as simple and explicit as possible, more so than might seem necessary to the professional reader. but my experience has proven that i was wise in this regard, as these very details have saved the day in more than one case, as the parties who have reported to me, after having read what i have written, have frequently testified. sometimes a bride and groom would keep the copy for a few days only, giving it but a single reading; but, as a rule, they have been anxious to retain it for some time, and to read it again and again, especially some parts of it, till they were well posted on all that it contains. i found, too, that those who had received help from the reading of the manuscript were glad to tell others of their friends of the benefits they had received, and that thus there was a constantly widening circle. of course, not all young married people are capable of reading this book with profit to themselves or anyone else; but many of them are, and these ought to have the privilege of doing so. your own good sense and experience will determine who these latter are, and these you can favor as they deserve. it is because of this situation that this book can only be used professionally that it needs the guiding hand of an expert physician to insure its reaching only those who can be benefited by its reading. as to the other class of readers, those who have not got on well in the marriage relation (and we all know that the name of these is legion) my experience in getting to them what i have written has been quite varied; but, on the whole, the results have been good--many times they have been most excellent. of course, it is harder to correct errors than to prevent them; but as most of the errors i have had to deal with among this class of patients have been made through ignorance rather than otherwise, i have found that the establishment of knowledge in the premises has generally brought relief where before was only suffering and woe. another way in which i have found the copy to be of the greatest value with these cases of unsatisfactory marital relations is the fact that, often, by the parties _reading the copy together_ they have come to a mutual understanding by so doing, and have established a _modus vivendi_ which could not have been attained in any other way. when such parties see their doctor singly, either of them, a prejudiced view is very apt to result, and they would seldom, if ever, come together to consult a physician regarding their troubles. but the _reading of the book together_ makes a condition of affairs which is very apt to work out for the best interests of all parties concerned. certainly, this is true, that in no case has the reading of the book made bad matters worse, and in many cases, (indeed in nearly all of them) it has been of untold value and benefit to the readers. and because these things are so, because what i have written has proved its worth in so many cases, i have finally concluded to give the copy a larger field in which it may be used by other members of the profession besides myself. i confide it to my fellow-members in the profession feeling sure that they will use it among their patients with wisdom and discretion; and my hope is that their so doing may yield for them and theirs the most excellent results which have come to me and mine, on these lines, in the years that have gone by. perhaps i ought to say that the somewhat unique typography of the book, the large percentage of italics, and not a few capitalized words that appear in the pages, comes from a duplication of the copy i have used with my patients. i wrote the original copy in this way for the sake of giving special emphasis to special points for my readers, and the results attained i believe were very largely due to the typographically emphatic form of the book. appearing in type in this way, it gives a sort of personal touch to what is thus presented to the eye of the reader, and the tendency of this is to establish a heart-to-heart relation between the author and the reader which could not be attained in any other way. all through the copy i have avoided the use of technical words, never using such a term without explaining its meaning in plain english in the words that immediately follow it. i found this an absolute necessity in writing so that the lay reader could understand, in saying things that would produce results. i might say, also, that the "introduction" to the real subject matter of the book, i found necessary to write as it is largely to get my readers into a proper _mental attitude_ for a reasonable recognition and understanding of what follows it. there are so many wrong teachings and biased ideas in the premises that these had to be counteracted or removed, to a degree, at least, before the rest of the copy could be rightly read. my experience is, that the preface, as it stands, has been the means of putting the readers of the book into a right mental attitude for its successful study and consideration. for the good of the cause it is written to serve, and for help to those who need help in the most sacred and significant affairs of their lives, may the book go on its way, if not rejoicing in itself, yet causing rejoicing in the lives and hearts of all who read what its pages contain. h.w.l. sane sex life and sane sex living i an explanatory introduction a pious christian once said to me: "i find it hard to reconcile sex with the purity of providence." he never could understand why god arranged for sex anyway. why something else might not have been done. why children might not have come in some other fashion. look at the harm sex has involved. most all the deviltry of history that was not done for money was done for sex. and even the deviltry that was done and is done for money had, and has sex back of it. take sex out of man and you have something worth while. god must have been short of expedients when god, in sex, conceived sex. it certainly looks as if the divine fell down this time. as if infinity was at the end of its tether. as if the adept creator for once was caught napping, or for once botched a job. so we had my pious friend. and we had medievalism. and we had the ascetics. and heaven knows what else. too much sex some places. too little sex other places. some people swearing on and some swearing off. the prostitute giving away that which was meant to be kept. the virgin keeping that which was meant to be given away. a force contending with a force. drawing in opposite directions when they should be pulling together. through it all, motherhood misunderstood. and fatherhood misunderstood. the body cheapened to the soul. and the soul cheapened to the body. every child being a slap in the face of virtue. have you ever tried to see what this came from and goes to? this philosophy of vulgar denial? this philosophy of wallowing surrender? the christian stream has been polluted. it has gone dirty in the age of hush. we are supposed to keep our mouths shut. we are not to give sex away. we breed youngsters in fatal ignorance. they are always asking questions. but we don't answer their questions. the church don't answer them. nor the state. nor the schools. not even mothers and fathers. nobody who could answer answers them. but they don't go unanswered. they get answered. and they get answered wrong instead of right. they get answered, smutched instead of washed. they get answered blasphemously instead of reverently. they get answered so that the body is suspected instead of being trusted. a boy who knows nothing asks a boy who knows nothing. a girl who knows nothing asks a girl who knows nothing. from nothing nothing comes. men who have been such boys know nothing. women who have been such girls know nothing. from nothing nothing comes. they have become familiar with sex circumstances. they are parents. they have done the best they knew how. but they never learned sex. they never realized its fundamentals. they never went back to, or forward to it. they were lost in a wilderness. they existed without living. they took sex as they took whiskey. they breathed an atmosphere of hush. they had got past the ascetics. but they had not got to be men and women. they didn't refuse sex. but though embracing its privileges, they still seemed to regard it as something not to be gloried in. the least said about it the soonest mended. mothers and fathers would say to children: "you'll know about it soon enough." teachers would say: "ask your questions at home." home would say: "what ever started you thinking about such things?" the child goes about wondering. what's the matter with sex that everybody's afraid to talk about it? what's the matter with my body that i dare not mention it? my body seems very beautiful to me. i like to look at it. i like to feel it. i like to smell it. but i'm always hurried into my clothes. my body is so mysteriously precious i must take care of it. but how am i to take care of it if i don't get acquainted with it? i find that having a body has something to do with being a father and a mother. i want to be a father. i want to be a mother. but how can i be a father or mother if some one who knows doesn't tell me what precedes fatherhood and motherhood? i should prepare for it. how can i if all the books are closed? how can i if i am blanked every time i express my curiosity? is there no one anywhere who'll be honest with me? if i look at sex right out of my own soul, it seems like something which god didn't fail with, but succeeded with. like something not polluted, but purified. like something having everything, instead of only an occasional thing, to do with life. but the world shakes its head. the world is nasty. but it puts on airs. the world has eaten. but the world says it's best to starve. folks will say they've got to be parents. but they say they will regret it. they say sex is here. they say we're up against its mandates or its passions. but let's be as decent as we can with the indecent. let's not linger on its margins. let's not overstay our dissipation. sex is like eating. who would eat if he didn't have to? to say you enjoy a meal is carnal. to say that you derive some sense of ecstasy from paternal and maternal desires is a confession of depravity. sex at the best is a sin. sex at the best is like stepping down. that sex might be an ascent. that sex might be the only means of growth and expansion. you never suppose that! you only assume perdition. you are afraid to assume heaven. i may take pride in that which i may abstract from my anatomy. i must not allude to my body as frankly as to my soul. i must withdraw my body from the public eye. from discussion. from its instinctive avowals. our bodies must be coffined. treated as dead before they are born. regarded as conveniences. not as essential entities. the body is only for a little while. the soul is forever. but why is that little while not as holy as forever? they don't say. they cavalierly settle the case of the body against itself. so it goes. endless vivid portrayals could be made of the anomalous situation. the more you look at the mess we've got sex into the worse it seems. _someone's got to peach._ someone's got to tell the truth. in a world of liars who are hushers? in a world of hushers who are liars? _someone's got to tell the truth._ someone's got to give sex its due. _you can't give spirit its due until you give sex its due._ you can't accept one and cast aside one. they go together. they are inseparable. you refer to body and soul as if you knew just where one stops and the other commences. maybe neither stops and neither commences. maybe they are not two things but two names. maybe when you put a body into a grave you put a soul there too. and maybe you put neither there. it's not so easy to say. i can't see anything in the things you call spiritual more marvelous than what you call the physical birth of a baby from a mother. maybe you know all about it. i don't. i know nothing about it. to me it's mysterious. to me it's the supreme demonstration of the spiritual. how that a baby comes from a man and a woman. i want that kept clean. it starts clean. why do we corrupt it? you who disparage it corrupt it. you ascetics anywhere. you libidinous roues anywhere. you corrupt it. by your excesses. you who never say yes. you who never say no. you corrupt it. you parents. you professors. you prudes. this is addressed to you. what have you got to say about it? you have tremblingly closed the question. i would coolly open it. you have rebuked god by silence. i would praise god by speech. ii the argument and the information no apology is offered for what is said in the following pages, but a brief explanation is virtually necessary to make clear, from the outset, the reasons why it has been written. it is one of the chief characteristics of the human race that the knowledge acquired by one generation can be passed on to the generations that follow; and that, in this way, progress in the betterment of life's results and the adaptation of means to ends can make a steady and reliable advance. such a method of evolution and growth is not possible in the vegetable or animal kingdom, where _instinct_ is the only means for the transmission of acquired knowledge. it is this feature that differentiates man from all other created beings. but here is a curious fact: in one realm of human experiences, in all christian civilized countries, it has been considered wrong, even in some cases being counted a criminal offense, punishable by fine and imprisonment, for anyone to make any record of, or transmit to anyone else, any knowledge that may have been acquired regarding sex relations in the human family. to be sure, there has been preserved, from time to time, a body of _professional_ knowledge of this sort, made and prepared by physicians, but _confined strictly to that class of people_. no attempt has been made to disseminate such knowledge among those who most need it--the common people. on the contrary, every possible effort is put forth to keep such knowledge from them. this is wholly at variance with the practice regarding all other forms of human knowledge, which is to spread, as widely as possible, all known data that have so far been obtained. there is not space, in this small volume, for pointing out the reasons for this anomalous condition of affairs, but the chief cause of its status, past and present, is grounded on two sources: the first of these is a brutal selfishness which has come over to modern times from a savage past; the second is a sort of pious prudery. the result of these causes has been to make the whole subject of sex in the human family, with its functions and mission in human affairs, together with its proper training, discipline and exercise--to make all these things _tabu_, something to be ashamed of and ignored as much as possible, and all the knowledge regarding them that one generation has been permitted to transmit to those who come after, may be summed up in these words, namely "_thou shalt not_." now it goes without saying that, in the very nature of things, _all_ this is just as bad as it can possibly be. for, of all phenomena with which the human race has to do, that of the highest importance, so far as the well-being of the race is concerned, is that which has to do with sex in men and women. a large percentage of all the physical ailments in mankind and womenkind arise from errors in sexual life, and these are but trifles compared with the mental and spiritual disasters which come upon humanity from the same source. it is probably true that more than one-half of all the crimes that are committed in the civilized world are more or less directly connected with sex affairs, and there is no so common a cause for insanity as sex aberrations. and nearly all these ills, crimes and misfortunes arise because of _ignorance_ in the matter of sex in which the rank and file of the race are forced to live. few of these ever acquire any positive and definite knowledge in the premises, and if they do learn anything for sure, _they keep it to themselves_, inspired to do so by a false belief regarding the rightful transmission of such knowledge; or, by a false modesty, or prudery, they are kept from telling to anyone else what they have discovered or found to be the truth in these matters. and so the people stumble along in ignorance of these vital affairs in life, generation after generation, repeating the errors of their predecessors, and no positive progress being made as the years go by. because of this state of affairs millions of human beings die every generation, and other millions suffer the tortures of the damned while they live, when they should enjoy the delights of the elect, and would do so if they only knew the actual facts in the case, and would act in accordance with the knowledge that ought to be made theirs. but there are not wanting signs of the times that there will slowly come a change in these conditions. the fact is that the intelligent world is beginning to emerge from a condition of conformity to the say-so of some one supposed to speak with authority, and to come into a realm of obedience only to a law that has a scientific basis of actual knowledge for its foundation. for untold ages the sex relations of the human family have been directed and determined by the clergy and by _their_ teachings and pronunciamentos regarding what was fit and right. there is no need of saying hard things about such a fact; nevertheless, it is true that, for the most part, all the dicta of these men have originated amongst those who knew nothing of the _scientific_ conditions regarding the subject on which they issue their mandates. so did the blind lead the blind, and the ditches of the past years are filled to overflowing with the dead bodies and souls of men and women, who, for this cause, have fallen therein. this must not always be! it is neither wise nor right that the essential matters of human life should always remain a stumbling block and a rock of offense for the children of men. we are coming to see that sex is no more unclean and to be denied a scientific knowledge of, than any other part of the human body--the eye, the ear or whatsoever. furthermore, the rank and file are beginning to clamor for a knowledge of these matters for themselves. this is shown by the frequency of articles that deal with sex in many of the best newspapers and magazines in the civilized world, and by similar discussions in the literature, the works and scientific books that now go into the hands of the common people. it also shows in the attempts that are occasionally being made to introduce the subject of sexual hygiene into our public schools and other educational institutions. "the world do move!" it is for these reasons--because it is right to transfer to you and to those who come after, the sex knowledge that has been acquired by the author, by reading scientific and professional literature upon the subject, by conference with men and women who know, and by personal and professional experience, that what follows is written. iii the correct mental attitude so much by way of general remarks regarding the subject in hand. it is more the especial purpose of what follows, however, to treat of the matter of marriage in particular, _to say something definite to young husbands and wives that shall be of real benefit to them_, not only by way of starting them out right in the new and untried way upon which they have entered, but to help them to make that way a realm of perpetual and ever increasing joy to both parties concerned, throughout its entire course, their whole lives long. be it said, then, first, that it is the duty of every bride and groom, before they engage in sexual commerce with each other, to acquaint themselves thoroughly with the anatomy and physiology of the sex organs of human beings, both male and female, and to make the acquirement of such knowledge as dispassionate and matter-of-fact an affair as though they were studying the nature, construction and functions of the stomach, or the digestive processes entire, or the nature and use of any of the other bodily organs. "clear and clean am i within and without; clear and clean is every scrap and part of me, and no part shall be held more sacred or preferred above another. for divine am i, and all i am, or contain." now the normal young man or woman would do just this, would pursue a study of sex in this way, were it not for the fact that they have been taught, time out of mind, that to do this is immodest, not to say indecent or positively wicked. they have longed to be possessed of such knowledge, all their lives; in most cases more than any other form of wisdom that it was possible for them to make their own. but its acquirement has been placed beyond their possible reach, and it is only by the most clandestine and often nasty means that they have attained what little they know. but the quotation made in the last paragraph, sounds the key note of what is _right_ in this matter, and the first effort made by the reader of these pages should be to establish in himself or herself the _condition of mind which these lines embody._ and it had better be said, right here, that for most young people this will be found to be no _easy_ thing to do. nor should the reader feel ashamed or chagrined, or at odds with himself or herself if he or she finds such condition of affairs existing in his or her case. for it is nothing for which they are to blame. it is a misfortune and not a fault. it is only the result of inherited and inculcated (the word inculcated means _kicked in_) ideas to which all "well bred" youths have been subjected for centuries; the idea being that the closer they were kept in the realm of innocence, which is only another name for ignorance, the better "bred" they are. and to pry one's self loose, to break or tear one's self away from such a mental view and condition as heredity and such years of rigorous restraint have developed, is no small task. indeed, it often takes months, and sometimes years, wholly to rid one's self of these deep seated and powerful, wrong views and prejudices. remember this: that _to the pure all things are pure._ but do not make the mistake of thinking that this much abused sentence means that purity means _emptiness_! it does no such thing. on the contrary, it means _fullness_, to _perfection_. it means that one should be possessed of the right kind of stuff, and that the stuff should be of supreme quality. so, in studying to obtain a knowledge of sex organs and sex functions, in the human family, the reader should not try to divest himself or herself of all sex-passion and desire; but, on the contrary, to make these of a sort of which he or she can be _proud_, rather than _ashamed_ of, rejoice in, rather than suffer from. so, then, let the reader of these lines, first, get a correct _mental attitude_ toward what is about to be said. banish all prurient curiosity, put aside all thought of shame or shock, (these two will be hardest for young women to overcome, because of their training in false modesty and prudishness) and endeavor to approach the subject in a reverent, open-eyed, conscientious spirit, as one who wishes, above everything else, to know the honest truth in these most essential matters that pertain to human life. get into this frame of mind, and _keep in it_, and what is here written will be read with both pleasure and profit. once more, for we must make haste slowly in these delicate affairs, if the reader should find himself or herself unduly excited, or perhaps shocked, while reading some parts of what is here written, so that the heart beats too fast, or the hand trembles, it may be well to suspend the reading for a time, divert the mind into other channels for a while, and resume the reading after one has regained poise and mastery of one's self. that is, "_keep your head_" while you read these lessons, and you will be all right. iv the sex organs and now, having given these cautionary directions, the way is clear for the making of definite statements and the giving of positive instruction. here, then, is a brief description of the sex organs in man and woman. at first, only the names of the parts will be given, with such slight comments and explanations as are necessary for making this part of the subject clear. a detailed setting forth of the functions and proper exercise of these organs will be given later. the sex organs in a male human being consists, broadly speaking, of the penis and the testicles. all these are located at the base of the abdomen, between the thighs and on the forward part of the body. the penis is a fleshy, muscular organ, filled with most sensitive nerves, and blood vessels that are capable of extension to a much greater degree than any of their similars in other parts of the body. in a quiescent, or unexcited condition, in the average man, this organ is from three to four inches long and about an inch or more in diameter. it hangs limp and pendent in this state, retired and in evidence not at all. in its excited, or tumescent condition (the word tumescent means swelled, and is the technical word for describing the erect condition of the penis) it becomes enlarged and rigid, its size in this state being, on an average, six or seven inches long, and from an inch-and-a-half to two inches in diameter. it is almost perfectly cylindrical, slightly thicker at the base than at its forward part. the testicles are two kidney shaped glands, not far from the size of a large hickory nut, and are contained in a sort of sack, or pocket, called the scrotum, which is made for their comfortable and safe carrying. the scrotum hangs directly between the thighs, at the base of the penis, and in it are the testicles, suspended by vital cords that are suspended from the body above. the left testicle hangs a little higher in the sack than the right, so that, in case the thighs are crowded together, one testicle will slip over the other, and so the danger of crushing them will be avoided. this is one of the many ways which the maker of the human body has devised to insure the proper preservation of the vital organs from harm, a fact which should inspire all human beings with profound reverence for this most wonderful of all life forms, the beautiful human body, the "temple of the holy spirit." the part of the body upon which the sex organs, male and female, are located is known as the pubic region. it is covered with hair, which, in both sexes, extends well up the lower belly. this is known as pubic hair, and in general corresponds in quality and quantity to the hair upon the individual head, being coarse or fine, soft or bristly, to match, the head covering, in each case. this hair is usually more or less curly, and forms a covering an inch or more in depth over the whole pubic region, extending back between the thighs slightly beyond the rectum. in occasional cases this hair is straight and silky, and sometimes grows to great length, instances being known, in some women, where it has extended to the knees. a well-grown and abundant supply of fine pubic hair is a possession highly prized by women, of which they are justly proud, though few of them would acknowledge the fact, even to themselves. none the less it is a fact. the female sex organs, speaking generally also, are as follows: the vulva, or outward portion of the parts; the vaginal passage; the uterus, or womb, and the ovaries. all but the first named lie within the body of the woman. the vulva is made up of several parts which will be named and described later. the vaginal passage is a tube, or canal leading from the vulva to the womb. in length and diameter it corresponds almost exactly with that of the penis, being six or seven inches in depth, and capable of a lateral extension which will readily admit the entrance of the male organ when the two are brought together. the vaginal passage opens into, and terminates in the uterine, or womb cavity. the womb is a pear shaped sack which is suspended in the womb cavity by cords and muscles from above. it hangs, neck downwards, and is, in its unimpregnated condition, about two and a half inches in diameter at its upper, or widest part, tapering to a thin neck at its lower end. it is hard and muscular in its quiescent state, filled with delicate and most sensitive nerves and capacious blood vessels. at its lower, or neck end, it opens directly into the vaginal passage. the ovaries are two in number, and are situated on each side of, and above the womb, in the region of the upper groins. they are small, fan shaped glands, and are connected with the uterus by small ducts which are known as the fallopian tubes. as already stated, the exterior parts of the body, in which the female sex organs are located, are covered with hair for their adornment and protection. such in brief, are the male and female sex organs in human beings. a further description of them and their functions and proper use we are now ready to consider. v the function of the sex organs it hardly need be stated here, for it is a matter of common knowledge, that the _primary_ purpose of sex in the human family is the reproduction of the race. in this respect, considered merely on its material, or animal side, mankind differs little from all other forms of animate life. as whitman says, we see "everywhere sex, everywhere the urge of procreation." the flowers are possessed of this quality, and with them all vegetable forms. in the animal kingdom the same is true. always "male and female" is everything created. and the chief facts in reproduction are practically the same wherever the phenomena occur. here, as everywhere else in the world, when a new life-form appears, it is always the result of the union of _two_ forces, elements, germs or whatsoever. these two elements differ in nature and in function, and each is incomplete and worthless by itself. it is only by the combining of the two that any new result is obtained. it is this fact that has led to the most suggestive and beautiful phrase "the duality of all unity in nature." many centuries ago an old latin philosopher wrote the now celebrated phrase, _omne ex ovo_, which, translated, means _everything is from an egg_. this is practically true of all life-forms. their beginning is always from an ovum, or egg. in this respect, the reproduction of human beings is the same as that of any other life-form. now in this process of producing a new life-form, the female is always the source of the egg, out of which the new creation is to come. this egg, however, is infertile of itself, and must be given life to, by mingling with its germ, an element which only the male can produce and supply. this element is technically known as a sperm, or a spermatozoa. its function is to fertilize the dormant germ in the egg produced by the female, and thus to start a new and independent life-form. this life-form, thus started, grows according to the laws of its becoming more and more, until, at the expiration of a fixed period, which varies greatly in different animals, it becomes a complete young individual, of the nature and kind of its parents. the fertilization of the ovum in the female is called conception; its growing state is called gestation, and its birth, on becoming a separate being, is called parturition. in its growing condition, and before its birth, the new young life form is known as the foetus. now it is the fertilization of the ovum in the female (and from now on, it is only of the male and female in the human family that mention will be made) by the male, in the woman, by the man, that is of supreme interest and importance to both the parties concerned in producing this result. how this is brought about is substantially as follows: as already stated, the infertile ovum, or egg, is produced by the woman. such production begins at what is known as the age of puberty, or when the hair begins to grow upon the pubic parts of the female body. the time of the appearance of this phenomenon in feminine life varies from the age of nine or ten years to fifteen or sixteen. the average, for most girls, is fourteen years of age. at this time the formation of ova, or eggs, in the female body begins, and it continues, in most women, at regular intervals of once in twenty-eight days, except during pregnancy and lactation, for a period of about thirty years. during all this time, under favorable conditions, it is possible for the ovum produced by the woman to become fertilized, if it can meet the sperm of the male. in a general way, this meeting of the infertile ovum of the woman with the sperm of the man can be brought about, as follows: the ova are produced by the ovaries (the word ovaries means egg producers) where they slowly develop from cells which originate in these glands. when they have reached maturity, or are ready for fertilization, they pass out of the ovaries and down into the womb, by way of the fallopian tubes. as already stated, such passage of the ova from the ovaries into the womb occurs every twenty-eight days, and it is accomplished by a more or less copious flow of blood, a sort of hemorrhage, which carries the ova down through the fallopian tubes, and deposits them in the womb. this blood, after performing its mission of carrying the ova down into the womb, escapes from the body through the vaginal passage and is cared for by the wearing of a bandage between the thighs. this flow of blood continues for about five days, and is known as a menstrual flow; and this time in a woman's life is known as the menstrual period. it is so named because of the regularity of its recurrence, the word _mensa_ meaning a _month_. in common parlance, these periods are often spoke of as the "monthlies." after the ovum has reached the womb it remains there for a period of about ten days, after which, if it is not fertilized during that time, it passes out of the womb into the vaginal passage, and so out of the body. but if, at any time after it is ripe for fertilization, that is, from the time it begins its journey from the ovaries to the womb, and while it is in the womb, the ovum is met by the male sperm, it is _liable_ to become fertilized--conception is possible. these are facts of the _utmost importance_, to be thoroughly understood and kept well in mind by all married people who would live happily together, as will be hereafter shown. so much regarding the female part of the meeting of the ovum and the sperm. the male part of this mutual act is as follows: the sperm, or spermatozoa, originate in the testicles. each sperm is an individual entity and _several thousands_ of them are produced and in readiness for use, _at each meeting_ of the male and female generative organs; and if _any one_ of the countless number comes in contact with the unfertilized ovum in the womb, conception is _liable_ to result. these sperms are so small that they are not visible to the naked eye, but they are readily seen by the use of a microscope. in shape they much resemble tad-poles in their earliest stages. at the base of the penis, well up in the man's body, there is a large gland which surrounds the penis like a thick ring, and which is called the prostate gland. it secretes a mucous fluid which looks much like, and is about the consistency of the white of an egg. close to this gland, and almost a part of it, is a sack, or pocket, into which the mucous secretion from the prostate gland is poured, and where it is kept, ready for use, in performing its part of the germinal act. now it is the business of this mucous fluid, which comes from the prostate gland, to form a "carrying medium" for the spermatozoa which originate in the testicles. there are small ducts leading from the testicles into the pocket which contains the prostate fluid. these are known as the seminal ducts, and through them the spermatozoa pass from the testicles into the prostate pocket. here they mingle with the prostate fluid, in which they can move about freely, and by means of which they can be carried wherever this fluid goes. the combination of prostate fluid and spermatozoa is called "semen." seen under a microscope, a single drop of semen reveals a multitude of spermatozoa swimming about in the prostate-carrying medium. it is in this form that the vitalizing male element meets the female infertile ovum. this mass of live and moving germs is poured all around and about the region in which the ovum lies waiting to be fertilized, and every one of them seems to be "rushing about like mad" to find what it is sent to do, namely, to meet and fertilize the ovum. the manner of depositing the semen where it can come in contact with the ovum is as follows: in order that this mingling of the male and female sources of life may be possible, it is necessary that there be a union of the male and the female generative organs. for such meeting, the penis is filled with blood, all its blood vessels being distended to their utmost capacity, till the organ becomes stout and hard, and several times its dormant size, as has been already told. in this condition it is able to penetrate, to its utmost depths, the vaginal passage of the female, which is of a nature to perfectly contain the male organ in this enlarged and rigid condition. under such conditions, the penis is inserted into the widened and distended vaginal passage. once together, a mutual back and forth, or partly in and out movement, of the organs is begun and carried on by the man and woman, which action further enlarges the parts and raises them to a still higher degree of tension and excitement. it is supposed by some that this frictional movement of the parts develops an electrical current, which increases in tension as the act is continued; and that it is the mission of the pubic hair, which is a non-conductor, to confine these currents to the parts in contact. now there are two other glands in these organs; one in the male and one in the female, which performs a most wonderful function in this part of the sexual act. these are the "glans penis" in the male and the "clitoris" in the female. the first is located at the apex of the male organ, and the other at the upper-middle and exterior part of the vulva. these glands are covered with a most delicate cuticle, and are filled with highly sensitive nerves. as the act progresses, these glands become more and more sensitized, and nervously surcharged, until, as a climax, they finally cause a sort of nervous explosion of the organs involved. this climax is called an "orgasm" in scientific language. among most men and women it is spoken of as "spending." on the part of the man, this orgasm causes the semen, which till this instant has remained in the prostate pocket, to be suddenly driven out of this place of deposit, and thrown in jets, and with spasmodic force, through the entire length of the penis, and, as it were, shot into the vaginal passage and the uterine cavity, till the whole region is literally deluged with the life-giving fluid. at the same time, the mouth of the womb opens wide; and into it pours, or rushes, this "father stuff," entirely surrounding and flooding the ovum, if it be in the womb. this is the climax of the sexual act, which is called "coitus," a word which means, going together. with the myriads of spermatozoa swarming about it, if the vital part of the ovum comes in contact with some one of them, any one of which, brought into such contact, will fertilize it, conception results. the woman is then pregnant, and the period of gestation is begun. this is a brief description of the act of coitus and of the means by which pregnancy takes place. it is, however, only a small part of the story of the sex relations of husbands and wives; and, be it said, a _very_ small part of that, as will now be shown. as has already been said, this use of the sex organs, merely to produce progeny, and so insure a continuance of the race, is a quality that mankind shares with all the rest of the animal kingdom. in all essentials, so far as the material parts of the act are concerned, the beginnings of the new life in the human family differ not a whit from that of any other mammals. in each case the ovum is produced by the ovaries of the female, passes into the womb, is there met by the semen from the male, fertilized by the spermatozoa, and so the foetus gets its start. this is the universal means by which the beginnings of all animal reproductive life takes place. but there is another phase in the sex life of human beings, which is _entirely different_ from that of all other animals, and which must therefore be considered beyond all that needs to be said regarding the act of coitus for reproductive purposes only. this we are now ready to consider and study. now in all animals, except human beings, the act of coitus is only permitted by the female, (it would seem is only _possible_ for her) when the ovum is present in the womb and ready to be fertilized. _at all other times, all female animals, except woman, are practically sexless_. their sexual organs are dormant, and _nothing can arouse them_ to activity. not only do they fail to show any desire for coitus, but if an attempt should be made to force it upon them, _they would resist it_ to the utmost of their strength. but when the ovum is present in the womb, these same female animals are beside themselves with desire for coitus. they are then spoken of as "in heat." and until they are satisfied, by meeting the male and procuring from him the vitalizing fluid which will fertilize their infertile ovum; or, failing in this, until the ovum passes away from them, out of the womb, they know no rest. at such times they will run all risks, incur all sorts of danger, do every possible thing to secure pregnancy. the thousand-and-one ways which female animals use to make known to their male mates their sexual desire and needs, when in heat, is a most interesting and wonderful story, a record made up of facts which would be well worth any student's knowing. but as all such knowledge can readily be procured from books which are within the reach of all, there is no need of noting the data here. but now, _in woman, all these things are different!_ as a matter of fact, the presence of the ovum in the womb of a normally made woman _makes little, and, in many cases, no difference whatever_ as regards her status concerning the act of coitus! that is, women are never "in heat," in the same sense in which other female animals are. to be sure, in some cases, though they are rare, some women are conscious of a greater desire for coitus just after the ceasing of the menstrual flow; that is, when the ovum is in the womb. but such cases are so infrequent that they may well be counted atavistic, that is, of the nature of a tendency to return to a previous merely animal condition. for the most part, it is true of all normal women that the presence of the ovum in the womb makes little difference, one way or another, in regard to their desire for, or aversion to, the act of coitus. now the fact of this remarkable difference in the sex-status of women and the same quality in all other female animals leads us to a great number of interesting, not to say startling, conclusions, some of which are as follows: in the first place, the phenomenon clearly establishes the fact that sex in the female human being _differs, pronouncedly_, from that of all other female life. for, whereas, among all females except woman, coitus is _impossible_, except at certain times and seasons, among women the act can not only be permitted, but is as much possible or _desired_ at one time as any other, regardless of the presence or absence of the ovum in the womb. that is (and this point should be noted well by the reader) there is a _possibility_, on the part of the female humanity, for coitus, _under conditions that do not at all obtain in any other female animal life_. this is a conclusion which is of such far-reaching importance that its limits are but dimly recognized, even in the clear thinking of most married people. the fact of such difference is known to them, and their practices in living conform to the conditions; but what it all means, they are entirely ignorant of, _and they never stop to think about it_. and yet, _right here is the very center and core of the real success or failure of married life_! around this fact are grouped all the troubles that come to husbands and wives. about it are gathered all the joys and unspeakable delights of the happily married--the only truly married. it is these items which make a knowledge of the real conditions which exist, regarding this part of married life, of such supreme importance. if these conditions could be rightly understood, and the actions of husbands and wives could be brought to conform to the laws which obtain under them, _the divorce courts would go out of business_, their occupation, like othello's, would be "gone indeed." the first conclusion, then, one that is forced upon the thoughtful mind by the fact of this difference in the sex possibilities of women and other female animals, is, as already stated, but which is here repeated for emphasis, that coitus _can_ be engaged in _by women_ when _pregnancy_ is _not_ its purpose, on her part; and that _this never occurs in any other form of female life!_ in view of this fact, is it too much to raise the question whether or not sex in woman is designed to fulfill any other purpose than that of the reproduction of the race? true it is, that the _only_ function of sex in all other females is merely that of producing offspring--of perpetuating its kind. under no circumstances does it _ever_ serve _any_ other end, fulfill any other design. _there is no possibility of its doing so_! but one can help wondering if it is not true that, with the existence of the _possibility_ of engaging in coitus _at will_, rather than at the bidding of _instinct_ alone, there has also come a _new_ and _added_ function for the sex-natures that are capable of engaging in such before-unknown experiences? to a fair-minded person, such conclusion seems not only logical, but irresistible! that is in view of this conclusion, it naturally follows that sex in the human family is _positively designed to fulfill a function that is entirely unknown to all other forms of animal life_. and from this, it is but a step to the establishment of the fact that _sex exercise in the human family serves a purpose other than that of reproduction_! now, this fact established, a whole world of new issues arises and demands settlement. among these, comes the supreme question: _what is the nature of this new experience that has been conferred upon human beings, over and above what is vouchsafed to any other form of animal life? what purpose can it serve? how can it be properly exercised? what is right and what is wrong under these new possibilities_? these are some of the issues that _force_ themselves upon all thoughtful people, _those who wish to do right under any and all circumstances in which they are placed_. of course, here as elsewhere, the unthinking, the happy-go-lucky and the "don't-give-a-damn," can blunder along in almost any-old-way. but they can, and will, reap only the reward which always follows blundering and ignorance. in these days of scientific clear-thinking, we have come to understand that _salvation from sin comes by the way of positive knowledge and not at the hands of either ignorance or innocence_! if husbands and wives ever attain to the highest conditions of married life, it can only be after they _know and practice, what is right in all their sex relations, both for reproductive purposes and in all other respects! note that well_! as things are now, especially in all civilized countries, and particularly among christian people, this _secondary_ function of sex in the human family, while blindly recognized as a fact, is none the less abused, to a most shameful degree. for ages, the whole situation has been left in a condition of most deplorable, not to say damnable, ignorance; and no honest endeavor has been made to find out and act up to the truth in the premises. husbands and wives have engaged in coitus _ad libitum_, utterly regardless of whether it was right or wrong for them to do so! they have taken it for granted that _marriage_ conferred on them the _right_ to have sexual intercourse whenever they chose, (especially when the man chose,) and they have acted accordingly. this is especially true of men, and the practice has been carried to such length that the right of a man to engage in coitus with his wife _has been established by law_, and the wife who refuses to yield this "right" to her husband can be divorced by him, if she persists in such way of living! it is such a fact as this which caused mr. bernard shaw to write: "marriage is the most licentious institution in all the world." and he might rightfully have added "it is also the most brutal," though it is an insult to the brute to say it that way, for brutes are never guilty of _coitus under compulsion. but a husband can force his wife to submit to his sexual embraces, and she has no legal right to say him nay!_ this doesn't seem quite right, does it? now there are several different ways of viewing this new and added sexual possibility in the human family, namely, the act of coitus for other than reproductive purposes. the catholic church has _always_ counted it as a sin. popes have issued edicts regarding it, and conclaves of bishops have discussed it and passed resolutions regarding it. there has always been a difference of opinion upon the subject amongst these dignitaries and authorities, but they all agree in one respect, namely, that it is a _sin_. the only point of difference has been as to the extent or enormity of the sin! by some it has been reckoned as a "deadly sin," punishable by eternal hell fire, if not duly absolved before death; by others it has been held to be only a "venial sin," one that must always be confessed to the priest when coitus is engaged in, and which can be pardoned by the practice of due penance. _but, always, it was a sin_! the protestant church has never issued edicts regarding this matter, but, for the most part, it has tacitly held to the catholic teaching in _theory_, while universally _practicing_ the reverse, in actual married life. protestants have looked upon it as a necessity, but have taught that it was _regrettable_ that such was the case. they have held, with paul, that, "it is better to marry than to burn." and most of them have chosen the marriage horn of the dilemma. among some european nations, attempts have been made to make it impossible for husbands and wives to cohabit except for reproductive purposes. in one of these nations, padlocks were used for preventing the act. a slit was made through the foreskin of the penis, and through this slit the ring of a padlock was passed, much as an ear-ring is passed through the lobe of a lady's ear. the padlock was made so large that it could not be introduced into the vaginal passage, and so coitus was impossible when it was worn. it could only be removed by the magistrate into whose hands the regulation of this part of the citizens' life was given. specimens of these padlocks are still to be seen in european museums. now the terribly immoral thing in all this way of living has always been the fact that it _compelled_ people to continually _violate their consciences_, by _pretending_ to _believe_ one thing and constantly _practicing_ the reverse of their proclaimed belief. that is, it lured them into _living a continual lie, and such can never be for the good of the soul_! it goes without saying that the sooner this abominable way of living can be ended, the better it will be for all parties concerned--the individuals who are the victims of such falsehood, and the communities of which they form a part. from all this it follows that the first thing every new husband and wife _ought_ to do is to _settle clearly in their own minds the issue as to whether it is right or wrong for them to engage in coitus for any other than procreative purposes_. having settled this point, one way or the other, then _let them conscientiously act accordingly. for only so can they live righteous lives_! in settling this point, so far as available authorities for the young people to study and consider are concerned, these are all _against_ coitus except for begetting of off-spring. all the "purity" writers and purity societies are ranged together on the negative side. likewise are all the books of "advice to young wives and husbands," especially those addressed to young _wives_. now all these "authorities" base their whole argument upon the purely _animal_ facts in the premises. probably a certain dr. c. is more largely read for information on these matters than any other author, especially among young women. he has written a large, and from the view-point he takes, a very plausible volume; and it is very extensively advertised, especially in papers which young women read. the result is that it has come to be almost a standard authority in these affairs. dr. c.'s argument is, baldly, as follows:--(a) among animals, the universal practice is a single act of coitus for each begetting of off-spring, (b) human beings are animals, (c) therefore, human beings should only engage in coitus for reproductive purposes. to this syllogism he adds a corollary, which is, that, therefore, all sexual commerce in the human family, for any other than reproductive purposes, is _wrong._ these are his texts, so to speak, and through several hundred pages he preaches, _don't, don't, don't,_ sermons. the entire volume is one of denial and prohibition. he proclaims the act, even for the one purpose he allows to be right, as low, and in itself degrading, to be engaged in only after "prayer and fasting" and "mortifying the flesh," and even then, in the most passionless, and only done-because-it-has-to-be manner; as a mere matter of duty; to be permitted by sufferance; joyless, disgusting in itself; a something to be avoided, even in thought, other than it is a necessity for the continuance of the race. _it is from such data as this that thousands of "innocent" brides annually make up their minds as to what is right or wrong in the matter of sexual intercourse._ in doing this, most of these young women are perfectly conscientious, and want to do the right thing, and there are two items in the count that naturally lead them to accept dr. c.'s teachings as correct. the first is, that it coincides with all they have ever heard about such matters; the second, that the doctor flavors all his text with a religious quality, of the alleged most sacred sort. he instances saintly women who have lived the most ascetic lives, and whose religious status was achieved because, and by means of, their perfect chastity. in fact, this word "chastity" (which he translates as entire renunciation of the whole sex nature) becomes the test word of his whole treatise, and its practice is upheld as the true road to all goodness and virtue. now, nearly all well-bred and cultivated young women are naturally religious (and not a word should be said against their being so) and they are anxious to time their lives to everything that the highest religious demands prescribe. it is, therefore, most natural that, being thus taught by an authority for which they have the highest regard, they enter marriage with the _fixed opinion_ in accordance with their teaching. how could it be otherwise? on the other hand, a few young husbands, indeed none but now and then a "goody-good" (who usually turns out to be the worst of the whole lot, in course of time), are willing to "stand for" any such theory, much less to live any such life as this theory would impose. these "don't care what the book says," and, from the manner of their bringing up, from all they have learned or heard by hearing _men_ talk about married life, (which is usually of the most vulgar sort) they have come to the conclusion that marriage confers upon the parties the _right_ to engage in sexual commerce at will; and, especially, that the husband has the _right_ to the body of his wife _whenever he chooses_. for, indeed, does not the law give him that right! and so long as one "keeps inside the law" what more could be asked! yea, verily! what more could be asked? so it is that _most brides and bridegrooms go to their marriage bed with the most widely diverse views as to what is right and wrong in the premises_--as to the life they will lead in their new estate. the young wife is for "purity" and "chastity." the young husband, driven by a passion which he has long held in thrall, in the belief that he can now give the fullest vent to it, when he has got where such relief is possible, is like an excited hound when it seizes its prey, which he fully believes he has the right to deal with as he pleases! what wonder that, in view of all these circumstances, the most extensive observer of marriage-bed phenomena should write: "_as a matter of fact, nine young husbands in ten practically rape their brides at their first sexual meeting." could anything be more horrible, or criminally wicked_? and it is all so needless! it is all the result of ignorance, of "innocence," and the worst of false teaching. the pity of it! true, these unfortunate conditions are often modified by "mother nature," who inspires the bride with curiosity, which, in a measure, controls her in spite of her false teachings, and with passion, which, to a degree, will assert itself over and above all false modesty, her religious scruples and her fear of pregnancy; and so she _may_ come through the ordeal of introduction to the act of coitus in a fairly sane condition of mind, even though she may have practically been _raped_! but, too often, the result of such first contact is _a shock to the bride from which she may not recover during all the subsequent years of married life_! and "here is where the trouble lies," for untold thousands of married men and women, all over the civilized world, to-day. and it might all be so different! it ought, _in every case_, to be all so different! but if it ever does become different, _knowledge_ has got to take the place of "_innocence"_ on the part of the _bride_, and of _ignorance_ on the part of the _bridegroom_, both of whom must be _taught_ to "_know what they are about_" before they engage in the sexual act, and be able to meet each other sanely, _righteously, lovingly,_ because they both _desire_ what each has to give to the other; in a way in which neither claims any _rights_, or makes any _demands_ of the other--in a word, in _perfect concord_ of agreement and action, of which mutual love is the inspirer, and _definite knowledge_ the directive agent. such a first meeting of bride and bridegroom will be no raping affair. there will be no shock in it, no dread, no shame or thought of shame; but as perfectly as two drops of water flow together and become one, the bodies and souls of the parties to the act will mingle in a unity the most perfect and blissful that can ever be experienced by human beings in this world. this is no dream! it is a most blessed reality, which all normally made husbands and wives can attain to, if only they are properly _taught and educated_, if only they will learn how to reach such blissful condition. however, such greatly desired status is not to be had for the asking merely. _instinct can never bring it about; "innocence"_ will never yield such a result; and _force_, or the declaration of a "_right_" in the premises will forever banish it to the realm of the never-to-be-realized. it can only come as a result of clear-headed thinking, scientific investigation, honest study, wise and righteous action under the given conditions; and, above all, _a love, each for the other, that knows no bounds_. all these things _must_ obtain, _on the part of both parties concerned_, or the desired results can _never_ be attained. having said which, here shall follow some suggestions as to how such estate may be reached by the readers of these pages. but first, let us finish dr. c., and all of his tribe--banish them from all our reckoning in these matters, forever. as already shown, this argument has not a leg to stand on. these writers treat the whole situation as though men and women were _mere animals! men and women are far more than mere animals, and god hath made them so_! and for these reasons we will have respect for men and women as _god has made them_, rather than as dr. c. and the "purity leagues" say god _should_ have made them! as a matter of fact, the secondary function of sex in the human family is something _far above_ mere animality; it is something that mere animals know nothing about, that they can never experience, or in any way attain to, and these _fundamental differences_ in the premises remove the whole issue from the realm of comparison with any forms or functions of mere animal life. as well reason that animals never eat cooked food, and so men ought never to eat cooked food (and there are some people who do so reason, strange to say) or that animals do not wear clothes, and so men ought not to wear clothes--as well make these, or a score more of comparisons, between the human race and mere animals, as to try to compare them in the item of their sex functions. in only the single fact that, on the physical plane merely, coitus for the purpose of procreation is common to all animal life, mankind included, is there a point of comparison between humanity and the brute creation. _beyond that point there is nothing comparable between the two_! as well say that because beasts can hear, therefore they can comprehend and enjoy a beethoven sonata, or because they have eyes they can delight in a picture by corot! this is only another way of saying that sex has functions and uses in the human family that are entirely apart from the possibilities of all other animal life--functions as much above mere animality as music is above mere physical hearing, as painting above mere physical sight. these facts forever upset and overthrow all the theories of dr. c. and co., they entirely eliminate the whole bunch from any part or lot in the issue on which they have essayed to speak with such authority, but whose main point, whose essential elements they have _entirely misunderstood_, and hence have treated in a way that is wholly at variance with the truth in the premises, and it is the truth that we are looking for. once more (for it is well to go to the bottom of this matter while we are about it) the honest truth is, that _it is the universal practice of the human race for men and women to cohabit for other purposes than reproduction, and it has always been so_, since men and women were men and women! it is true among the most savage and barbarous tribes of the earth, and it is more emphatically true of the highly civilized people in all lands and climes. and is it reasonable to suppose that such a universal phenomenon should _not_ have been intended to be as it is! as well say that appetite for food is a mistake, one that ought to be eliminated! again, the experiences of men and women, all over the world, prove that, where this act is engaged in properly, according to the laws that obtain in the premises, _it conduces to the highest physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of the parties concerned_. indeed, it is beyond doubt true that the men and women who have never known this most perfect of all human experiences, have never reached the summit of human attainment, have never arrived at the perfection of manhood and womanhood. length of life, health of the highest sort, and happiness, the most delectable--all come, these and more, to men and women by this route, _if it is rightly traveled_. hell and damnation result if that road is wrongly trod! and that's what makes the manner of traveling it so important. vi the act of coitus strictly speaking, the act of coitus should be considered as composed of four parts, or acts, of one common play, or drama. not that there is a sharp line of demarcation between each act or part, for the _four_ really blend into _one_ composite whole, when taken together, seriatim; but there are _four phases_ of the act which may well be studied separately, in making a detailed review of a sexual meeting of a man and a woman. these four parts are: _first_, the preparation for the act; _second_, the _union_ of the organs; _third_, the motion of the organs; _fourth_, the orgasm. in what immediately follows, these _four_ stages of the act of coitus will be studied and traced in detail, with the utmost care, in the hope that such pursuit may result in the best possible good to the student. regarding the _first_ part of the act, let it be said that here, above all other situations in the world "_haste makes waste_." _put that down as the most fundamental fact in this whole affair!_ right here is where ninety-nine one-hundredths of all the troubles of married life begin! and the fault, right here, is usually (though not always) with the husband! but he doesn't mean to be bad. not once in a thousand times does he deliberately purpose to do wrong. he is simply the victim of undirected and ungoverned passion, and of an _ignorance_ which results in stupid blundering, or carelessness, or thoughtlessness. what such a husband practically does is to rush blindly and furiously along a way he knows nothing of, but which he has been led to think he has a _right_ to travel _when and how he will_! the ordinary figure of a "bull in a china shop" can but faintly describe the smashing and grinding to powder of the most delicate situation that can occur in all human experiences, that result from such action as this. ideals that have touched heaven are tumbled from their lofty places and ruthlessly crushed to atoms; hopes that were beyond the power of words to express go out in despair; dreams become a hideous nightmare; and love, which was as pure as crystal waters, is muddied, befouled, and made into a cesspool! _and all this because of ignorance_ or careless hurrying, of making haste where the utmost of time, caution and intelligent care should have obtained! as has already been explained, when the act of coitus is to be engaged in, the sex organs of both the man and the woman undergo great changes. blood rushes to all these parts, in copious quantities, till they become gorged. the result is that the penis is enlarged to several times its dormant size, and the vulva and vagina should, and will, under right conditions, undergo similar changes and transformation. _but there is usually a great difference in the length of time it takes for these changes to take place in men and women_. on the part of the man, as soon as his passion is aroused to any considerable extent, the penis at once makes itself ready for action. it "tumesces," or swells itself hard, almost instantly; and, so far as its mere physical stoutness is concerned, is as ready to enter the vagina then as ever, even if it has to force itself in. on the other hand, the tumescence of the parts in women is usually, (especially as girls are reared) not infrequently, a matter of considerable time, not infrequently several minutes, and now and then, of _half-an-hour or more_! this is not always so, for in some very passionate women they are ready for action almost instantly. indeed, there are some women whose sex organs tumesce if they (the women) even touch a man--any man--and occasionally a case occurs where a woman will experience an orgasm if her clothing brushes against a man! such cases are, of course, abnormal. but, _for the most part_, it is true that women are _much slower_ in making ready for the sexual act than men are. again, as the organs become ready for the act, nature has provided a most wonderful means for bringing about their easy and happy union. both the male and female organs secrete and emit, or pour out, a sort of lubricating fluid which covers and sometimes almost floods the parts. this is a clear and limpid substance, that looks much like the white of an egg, and is much like the saliva that is secreted in the mouth, only it is a thicker substance. chemically, it is almost identical with saliva. that generated by the man is called "prostatic flow;" that produced by the woman "pre-coital secretion." now, if time is given for this fluid to be secreted and exuded, all the parts become covered or saturated with it, and they are admirably equipped for easy union. the glans penis is then covered with the slippery fluid, and the vulva and all the walls of the vagina are laved with the substance. at the same time, the vaginal walls have widened and grown soft, and all the parts of the vulva (which are yet to be named and described in detail) are in like condition. the result is that, though the penis be what might at first seem of such size as to make its entrance into the vagina impossible, as a matter of fact, such entrance is perfectly easy, when the parts are fully ready to be joined. _but not before or otherwise!_ so here is where the trouble comes. if the husband is in haste, if he does not wait for the wife to become ready to meet him; if he forces his large, hard penis into the vagina before either is fully ready for such union--when there is no prostatic fluid on its glans, and the vagina is shrunken and its walls are dry--if coitus is engaged in in this way, it is perfectly easy to see that _only disaster can result_! the woman is hurt, sometimes most cruelly, and the man in reality gets only a beastly gratification from the act. _of all bad things in all the world, such manner of coition is the worst_! and so, in this _first_ part of the act, the one foremost thought to remember and observe is, _take plenty of time!_ there is another reason why, on the part of woman, this time should be extended, especially when she is a bride and inexperienced in these matters, and that is, that her "innocence," and all her education, make her feel that she is _doing wrong_, or at least permitting a wrong thing to be done, and this holds back the proper growth of her passion, hinders the tumescence of her sex organs, delays the flow of the precoital secretion, and so keeps her from becoming properly prepared for her share of the mutual act. again, her fear of pregnancy may still further retard her coming into a proper condition. indeed, this last is the almost common cause for her failing to be in readiness for meeting her husband. all of which items must be taken into account by both husband and wife, and intelligently, lovingly dealt with, if the best results for both parties are attained. as regards the item of possible pregnancy, special note will be made of this feature later on. it is here placed in abeyance for the time being, because its consideration can be better provided for after some other points have been studied. now the one easily understood (and as easily practiced as understood) direction as to what to do by way of preparation for the act of coitus is: _do as lovers do when they are "courting."_ and everybody knows what that is! and note this--that _nobody ever hurries when they are courting!_ they delay, they protract, they dilly-dally, they "fool around," they pet each other in all sorts of possible and impossible ways. they kiss each other--"long and passionate kisses, they again and again give and receive"--they hug each other, nestle into each other's arms--in a word, they "play together" in a thousand-and-one ways which the "goody-goods" declare to be wrong, and the cold-blooded call nonsense or foolishness, but which all _lovers_ know is an _unspeakable delight_ ("unspeakable" is the word, for who wants to _talk_ when these blissful experiences are going on!). now, these things, and the likes of these things, in limitless supply, should always precede the act of coitus. it is right there that this part of the first act of this wonderful four-act drama or play should be wrought out, and if they are omitted or disregarded, the play will end in _tragedy, with all the leading actors left dead upon the stage_! now the chief, if not the only, reason why this part of the supreme act of married life is not always preluded in this way is found in the _false view_ of what the _marriage ceremony means_, and a wrong impression as to what it confers upon the parties who say "yes" to its prescriptions. that is, the common idea is, that the taking of "marriage vows" bestows certain _rights_ and imposes certain _duties_ upon the new husband and wife. it is thought that such ceremony makes certain acts _right_ which would _otherwise_ be _wrong_, and that it establishes the _right_ to engage in such acts, _with or without any further consultation or consent in the premises_. it makes love a matter of _contract_, a something _bound by promise and pledge rather than a free and unfettered effusion of the soul_. the result of this is that, whereas, before the marriage ceremony both the man and woman take the utmost care to do everything in their power to increase, magnify, and retain each other's love, after they have been granted a "license," and the minister has put their hands together and prayed over them--after this, they both think they have a "_cinch_" on each other, that they are bound together by a bond that cannot be broken, a tie so strong that it will need no further looking after, but which will "stay put" of its own accord, and which may therefore be let to shift for itself from the hour of its pronouncement! nothing _could be further from the truth than this is_. and yet it is a common feeling and belief among young married people! nor is it any wonder that this should be so. the very form of the marriage ceremony and contract tends to make it so. the fact that marriage originated as a form of slavery, and that much of its original status yet remains--all these things tend to establish these wrong ideas regarding the estate, in the minds of the parties to it. nor are the evils that come from such wrong view of marriage all confined to one side of the house. on the contrary, they are about evenly divided between husbands and wives, witness a few illustrations, as follows: a couple had been married about a year. they had no children, nor were there prospects of any. the husband was beginning to spend his evenings away from home, leaving his wife alone. one evening, as he was making ready to go out, his wife said: "what makes you go out evenings now, and leave me alone! you didn't use to do it!" and the husband replied: "why, you don't do anything to make it interesting for me now! you used to put on your prettiest clothes when i came to see you, fixed up your hair bewitchingly, had a smile for me that wouldn't come off, would sing for me, read to me, sit on my lap and pet me and kiss me, and now you never do anything of the kind." and before he could say more, the wife responded: "_oh, but we are married now, and it's your duty to stay with me!_" what wonder that the husband went out of the house, slamming the door after him! the wonder is that he ever came back. again: a woman who was a graduate of a famous eastern college and who had taught for a number of years, who was from one of the "first families" in the east, and was counted as a lady of the highest culture and refinement, finally married a western business man. on their bridal night, as they were retiring, the man laid his hand on the woman's bare shoulder, and she threw it off, and said: "don't be disgusting! i married you because i was tired of taking care of myself, or of having my relatives take care of me. you are worth fifty thousand dollars, and one-third of all that was made mine just as soon as the preacher got through his closing prayer, and you can't help it! that's the truth, and we are married, and you can make the best of it!" these are both truthful tales, nor are they the only ones of the sort that could be told. on the other hand, these are matched with acts of ignorant and careless young husbands, who do dastardly deeds to their brides because they think _the law_ and the _contract_ give them the right! there is no need to go into details. the whole evil is revealed by the words of the woman just quoted: "_oh, but we are married now_." these records, and all like them, lead to the remark that _marriage confers no rights, to either the bride or the bridegroom, in the highest meaning of the word_. so far as its outward and formal observance is concerned, marriage is merely a sort of protection for society which has grown up through the years, and which is probably for the best, for the present, things being as they are. but it should be well understood that it can _never_ lead to _true happiness_ if it is viewed and utilized _merely_ on its _legal and formal side. true marriage is based on mutual love; and mutual love can never be traded upon, or made an item of formal agreement and contract._ people may contract to live together and to cohabit, and they may faithfully carry out their agreements; _but this is not marriage_! it is simply _legalized prostitution, bargain and sale, for a consideration. it is blasphemy to call it by the sacred name of marriage!_ truly does tennyson say: "free love will not be bound." indeed it cannot be! it must remain forever free if it stays at all. and if the parties to it try to bind it, the more chains, fastenings, pledges and agreements they put upon it, the sooner and quicker will it escape from all its holdings and fly away and _stay away_! and so, to come back to where we left off (for we said there should be no hurrying or haste here) let married people understand that the key to married happiness is _to keep on "courting" each other_. indeed, to make courting continually grow to more and more. during the whole extent of married life, never neglect, much less forget to be lovers, and to show, _by all your acts_, that you are lovers, and great shall be your reward. don't ask how to do this! you know how, well enough. do it! and be careful _not_ to do anything that a careful lover ought not to do! this direction should be heeded by both husband and wife. make yourself beautiful for your husband, oh, wife, and keep yourself so. as between the public, or your friends, or society, give them what of yourself you can spare, after you have given to your lover all that you can bestow upon him, or he can wish you to bestow. don't give to everybody and everything else, church, society, work, children, friends, or what-so-ever--don't give _all_ of yourself to these, and let your husband "take what there is left." don't do that, as you value your married success and happiness! don't say: "oh, but we are married now," and let it go at that! the beautiful and delicate flowers of married love need to be watched and tended with the most skilful care, _continually_, by both husband and wife. treated in this way, they will not only be fragrant and lovely through all the years of wedded life; but as, one by one, the blossoms shed their petals and change their forms so that luscious fruits may come in turn--as these changes take place, new, more beautiful and more fragrant flowers will continue to the very end of the longest married life. don't ever forget this, or doubt it, as you hope for happiness in the marriage state! mind what is here said, and act accordingly _all the time_--days, nights and sundays. now if these truths are thoroughly inculcated, "kicked in" so firmly and deeply that they will never "jar loose" or get away, we will move on. so, then, the _first_ part of _every_ act of coitus should always be a _courting_ act, in which there should be _no haste_, but in which the parties should "_make delays_," as john burroughs says. and this should be added: that, for married lovers, courting has a far wider range of possibilities than it has for the unmarried. previous to marriage, there are conventionalities and clothes in the way! after that, neither of these need be in evidence, and this makes a lot of difference, and all in favor of the best results, if rightly used, and made the most of. one hardly need to go into details here, (though this may be done later on in this writing). if the lovers will be as free with each other unclothed as clothed; if they will utterly ignore all conventionalities, and do with and for each other anything and everything that their _impulses_ and _inclinations_ suggest, or their desires prompt; if they will, _with the utmost abandon_ give themselves up to petting each other in every possible way that _mother nature_ has put within their reach; if they will hug and kiss and "spoon" and "play with each other" just as they want to do--if they will do this, and not _hurry_ about it--then, in due course, they will successfully execute the _first act_ of the great play they are performing; the sex organs will become fully ready for the union they are both longing for; the "prostate flow" will have added to the erect condition of the penis; the walls of the vagina and all the area of the vulva will be enlarged, soft, flexible and made smooth and slippery by a most generous supply of the "pre-coital secretion" and everything will be in _perfect readiness_ for the next part of the performance, namely the union of the organs. and here it becomes necessary to say something about the position of the parties in making such union. there are a large number of these possible, some of which may be noted later, but here, only the most common one will be considered (it is said there are more than forty different positions possible in this act). the most common position is for the woman to lie flat on her back, with her legs spread wide apart, and her knees drawn up so that the angle made by the upper and lower part of the leg shall be less than a right angle. her head should not be too high, there should be no pillow under it. into her arms, and between her spread legs as she lies thus, her lover should come. his body will thus be over and above her, and _he should sustain himself on his elbows and knees_, so that little or _none_ of his weight may rest upon her. in this position, face to face (and it should be noted that only in the human family is this position of coitus possible! among mere animals, the male is always upon the back of the female. they--mere animals--can never look each other in the eye and kiss each other during the act! this is another marked and very significant difference between human beings and all other animals in this regard) it is perfectly natural and easy for the organs to go together, when properly made ready, as here-before described. the woman should also place her heels in the knee-hollows of her lover's legs, and clasp his body with her arms. the entrance of the penis into the vagina should not be too abrupt, unless circumstances are perfectly favorable for such meeting and it is _the wish of the wife_ that it be made in this way. it is only fair to say, though, that such bold and pronounced entrance is often _greatly desired by the woman_, if her passion has been fully aroused at this stage of the act. such union is not infrequently of the greatest delight to her, if everything is favorable for its being so made. but, if there is any pain produced in her by the coming together, the meeting should be gentle and slow, the penis working its way into the vagina by degrees, till, finally, it is entirely encased therein. once thus happily together, the vagina and uterine cavity will still further expand, till, in due order, the two organs will be fitted together perfectly, a single unit, _one_, in the highest sense of unity. this is the _second_ act in this wonderful play. once well together, and the organs perfectly settled and adapted to each other, the _third_ act begins, namely, _the motion of the organs_--the sliding of the penis back and forth, partly in and out of the vagina, though this is not really the best way of describing just what should take place. what _should_ actually be done is, that the _two_ organs should engage in this motion, which is _common to them both_. they should _mutually_ slip a few inches, back and forth, _each party to the motion doing a fair half_. it is often supposed, by both an uninitiated husband and an "innocent" wife, that all the motion should originate with the husband--that he should slide his penis in and out of the vagina, while the woman should lie still and "_let him do it all_." this is, however, a _great_ mistake, and one that has caused an endless amount of ill to untold numbers of husbands and wives. and for the following reasons: in the position just described, if the wife has her arms around her lover's body and her heels in his knee-pockets, while he supports himself by his elbows and knees over and above her, resting _none_ of his weight upon her, it is perfectly easy for her to lift her hips up and down, or sway them from side to side, or swing them in a circling "round-and-round" motion, as she may choose to do. she can thus _originate_ her half of the in-and-out motion--a something she will delight to do, _if given a fair chance._ if, however, the man lies heavily upon her, holding her down with the weight of his body, the possibility of such action on her part is prevented, and this results disastrously to both parties. and so, in this part of the act, the husband should take the _utmost care_ to give his wife the _full and complete freedom_ to move her hips as she chooses, and as a successful climax demands that she should. now if the wife be left free to move, as just described, and the in-and-out motion proceeds as it should, what immediately follows will vary in a great degree. thus, the time taken to reach the climax, or last act of the performance, may be a few seconds, or several minutes, may require a mere half dozen motions, or _several hundred!_ all depends on the intensity of the passions of the husband and wife, especially the latter, and their skill in manipulating this part of the act. the effect of this motion is to still further excite and still more distend all the organs involved. normally, the motion grows faster and faster, the strokes becoming as long as the length of the organs will possibly permit without separating them. the flow of the lubricating fluids, from both organs, becomes more and more copious, till, all at once, the orgasm, or _fourth stage_, is reached! it is difficult to describe what this orgasm is like. there is no bodily sensation that at all corresponds to it, unless it be a sneeze, and this is only like it in that it is spontaneous, and a sort of nervous spasm (a sneeze is sometimes spoken of as an orgasm). a sexual orgasm is a nervous spasm, or a series of pulsating nervous explosions which defy description. the action is entirely beyond the control of the will, when it finally arrives, and the sensation it produces is delectable beyond telling. it is the topmost pinnacle of all human experiences. for a husband and wife to reach this climax, at exactly the same instant, is a consummation that can never be excelled in human life. it is a goal worthy the endeavor of all husbands and wives, to attain to this supreme height of sexual possibilities. on the part of the man, the orgasm throws the semen into, and all about the vaginal-uterine tract. the amount of semen thus discharged at a single climax is about a tablespoonful, enough to entirely flush and flood the area into which it is thrown. its use and action there have already been described, and so need not be repeated here. on the part of the woman, the orgasm causes no corresponding emission of fluid, of any sort, that is jetted forth as is the semen. yet the spasmodic action of the sexual parts, so far as nervous explosions are concerned, is exactly like that of her partner. palpitation follows palpitation, through all the sexual area; the mouth of the womb opens and closes convulsively, the vagina dilates and contracts again and again, and the vulva undergoes similar actions. the sensations are all of the most delectable nature, the whole of the woman's body being thrilled, over and over, again and again, with delights inexpressible. this, however, seems to be the entire mission of the orgasm in woman. _it has nothing whatever to do with conception_; though many people, especially young husbands who know just a little about the phenomenon, believe that it is an _essential_ to pregnancy. _but such is by no means the case._ all that is needed to bring about conception in a woman is the presence of the ovum in the uterus, and its meeting semen there, and so becoming fertilized. so far as becoming pregnant is concerned, the _woman_ need have _no pleasure at all_ in the act of coitus. indeed, women have been made pregnant by securing fresh semen from some man and injecting it into the vagina with an ordinary female syringe! the false idea, which largely prevails, and which usually takes the form that there is no danger or possibility of conception unless the orgasm is _simultaneous on the part of the man and woman_, has caused many a woman to become pregnant when she thought such a result to be impossible, because she and her lover did not "spend" at the same instant. for the same reason, many a young husband has impregnated his wife when he least expected to do so, thinking that because he alone experienced the orgasm, that therefore conception was impossible. again, there are many married men and women who do not know that it is possible for a woman to experience an orgasm at all! the writer once knew a case of this kind, where a husband and wife, most intelligent and well cultivated people, lived together for twenty years, and to whom were born six children, who, at the end of that time were wholly unaware of such possibility! they afterwards discovered it by accident, as it were, and after that enjoyed its delights for many years. there are some, yea, many, women who never experience this sensation at all, but of this more will be said later. all these phenomena seem to indicate the fact that, so far as women are concerned, _the orgasm is entirely for her delectation and delight. it forms no part of the act of conception_, and its only possible function, beyond that of pleasure, is that, because of the exceedingly delightful sensations it produces, it may lure women to engage in coitus when, but for this fact, they would not do so, and that it thus increases the possibility of women becoming mothers. indeed, there is no stronger temptation to a woman to run the risk of becoming pregnant than her desire to experience an orgasm! but more of this later. as soon as the orgasm is over, a total collapse of the husband and wife takes place. they are truly "spent," a most expressive word, which alone can describe their condition. on the part of the man the up-to-this-moment stout penis, becomes almost instantly limp and shrunken, while all the female organs become quiescent. a most delightful languor steals over them; every nerve and fibre of the whole body relaxes; and a desire to fall asleep at once, comes upon them irresistibly. and the thing for them to do is to avail themselves of such natural impulse, just as soon as possible. they should always have at hand, and within easy reach, a towel, or napkin, with which to care for the surplus of the seminal emission, which, as soon as the organs are separated, will, in greater or less quantity, flow from the vagina. some of the same fluid will also remain upon the penis when it is withdrawn. the husband should absorb this surplus which remains with him with the towel, as soon as the organs are parted, and immediately leave his super-imposed position, leaving his wife _perfectly free_, to do as she will. she should arrange the towel between her thighs, exactly as she would a sanitary napkin, making no attempt to remove the surplus semen at that time, and turn over and go to sleep _immediately_. (it is said that if the woman goes to sleep on her _back_, after coition, she thereby increases the _probability_, of becoming pregnant. this is a point that women who greatly desire motherhood should note. the writer knew one case where a wife lay on her back for twenty-four hours after coition and so became pregnant after all other means had failed.) now it might seem that such neglect, on the part of the woman, to immediately remove the surplus semen, was uncleanly and unsanitary. but this is not at all true, and for this reason: _the semen is a most powerful stimulant to all the female sex-organs, and to the whole body of the woman_. the organs themselves will absorb quantities of semen, if left in contact with it, and it is most healthful and beneficial to them, and to the woman, to have them do so. it is for this cause that many women increase in flesh, and even grow fat after they are married and so can avail themselves of this _healthful food._ as a matter of fact, _there is no nerve-stimulant, or nerve-quieter, that is as potent to woman-kind as semen_. there are multitudes of "nervous" women, hysterical even, who are restored to health, and kept in good health, through the stimulative effects of satisfactory coitus and the absorption of semen, when both these items are present in perfection. on the other hand, there are many women who suffer all sorts of ills, when these normally beneficial factors are misused or wrongly applied. the results that follow all depend upon the way the act is done, and its products utilized. so, after the act of coition is over, let the woman slip a "bandage" into place as soon as possible, and go to sleep. if she sleeps long, so much the better, so much more will she be benefited by the presence of the semen and its absorption. when she naturally wakens, she may bathe the vulva region with warm water; but there is no need of, nor is it wise to try to cleanse the vagina and the uterine tract by the use of a vaginal syringe. above all, never inject cold water into the vagina, especially do not do this immediately after coitus. some women use a cold water injection immediately after coitus. there is no surer way to ill health and ultimate suicide. the parts are congested with blood at such times, and to pour _cold_ water upon them is as though, when one is dripping with perspiration, he should plunge into a cold bath. nature has made wise provision for taking care of all the semen that remains in the vagina. let the parts alone, and they will cleanse and care for themselves. such, then, is a somewhat extended review of the act of coitus at its best estate, and in a general way. _its perfect accomplishment is an art to be cultivated, and one in which expertness can only be attained by wise observation, careful study of all the factors involved, and a loving adaptation of the bodies, minds and souls of both the parties to the act. it is no mere animal function._ it is a _union_, a _unity_ of "two _souls_ with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one." there is nothing low or degrading about it, when it is what it ought to be, when it is brought to, and experienced at, its highest and best estate. it is _god-designed, god-born, god-bestowed!_ as such it should be thankfully received and _divinely used_ by all the sons and daughters of men. vii the first union and now, although so much has been said, there is much that remains to be said, and which ought to be said, to do the subject justice. some of these things are as follows: something more ought to be told about the second part of the act of coitus, the union of the organs, when this occurs for the _first_ time on the part of the woman. at the first meeting of the husband and wife, if the woman be a virgin, there are certain conditions which exist, on her part, that are not present in after-meetings, and these must be understood and rightly dealt with, or the worst of bad results may ensue. of course, at such first meeting, all the preliminaries prescribed as forming the _first_ movement of the act should be carried out _to the limit_. it is not too much to say that these should be prolonged for _some days_! do not start, young husband, at this statement! well did alexander dumas, père, write: "oh, young husband, have a care in the first overtures you make toward your bride! she may shrink from what she feels must come; she may put her hands over her eyes to shut out the sight; but do not forget that she is a woman, and so is filled with _curiosity_, under any and all circumstances! and you may set it down as sure, that, though she blinds herself with her hands as she scales the dizzy heights you are leading her over, nevertheless, _she will peek through her fingers!_ so she will watch you with most critical eyes, and note every show of _selfishness or blundering on your part! so have a care!_ you may think you are aiming your arrow at the sun. see to it that it does not alight in the mud!" good words these, and to be heeded, come what may! as a rule, if the bride be a virgin, it is well to _let plenty of time elapse before engaging in the full act of coitus!_ delay here will lead to a possible loving speed, later on. the young people should take time enough to get better acquainted with each other than ever before; to become, in a measure, accustomed to the uncovered presence of each other, and to the new possibilities of "courting" and "playing together" that their new conditions offer. in any case, full coitus should not be attempted till the bride is at least _willing_. if she can be brought to become _anxious_ for the meeting, so much the better. and so, with plenty of time taken for making ready for the act, we come to the first union of the organs for a newly married couple, the bride being a virgin. and here is where an explanation is called for. the vulva, or external part of the female sex organs, is a mouth shaped aperture, located laterally between the forward part of the thighs. in shape, size and structure, it much resembles the external parts of the mouth proper. it begins just in front of the anus, and extends forward above the pubic bone and a little ways up the belly. its entire lateral length is about four or more inches. this organ is made up of several parts, as follows: the lips, or labiae, as they are technically known, the clitoris, and the vaginal opening. the lips are a double row, two on either side, and are known as labiae major and labiae minor, that is, the thicker and thinner, or larger and smaller lips. they extend almost the entire length of the vulva, the outer lips folding over the inner ones when the thighs are together. the outer parts of the larger lips are covered with hair. in thickness and quality these labiae are much like the lips of the face of each individual, a large mouth and thick lips indicate a large vulva and thick labiae and vice-versa. the clitoris is a gland that is located forward, on the upper part of the vulva. it corresponds, almost exactly, in make-up and function, with the glans penis of the male organ. the vaginal opening is at the rear, or lower part of the vulva, and leads directly into the vagina proper. all these parts are composed of most keenly responsive nerves, and they are covered with a thin, delicate and exceedingly sensitive skin, almost exactly such as lines the cheeks and the mouth. both the clitoris and the lips are filled with expandable blood vessels, and in a state of tumescence they are greatly enlarged by a flow of blood into the parts. the clitoris, in this condition, undergoes an enlargement, or "erection," which is exactly like that of the glans penis. so much as to the physiology of this part of the female sex organs, all of which should be well understood by every bride and bridegroom, though often it is not. now, in its virgin state, the vulva has another part, not yet named, and this is the hymen, or "maiden-head" as it is commonly known. this is a membrane that grows across the forward, or upper part of the vaginal opening, and so _closes up_ nearly all that part of the vulva. this hymen is not always present, however, even in a state of undoubted virginity. sometimes it is torn away in childhood by the little girl's fingers, as she "plays with herself." sometimes it is ruptured by lifting, again it is broken away by the use of a large-sized female syringe. _for all these reasons, it is not right to conclude that a bride is not a virgin because the hymen is not present and in evidence at the first coition._ now many young husbands, and some young wives, are wholly ignorant of the _existence_ of the hymen, and of the troubles it may cause at the second part of the sexual act, in a first meeting. this membrane is often quite tough and strong. it is grown fast to the lower part of the clitoris and to the inside surfaces of the smaller lips, and it covers so much of the vaginal opening that it is practically impossible for the erect penis to enter the vagina so long as it is present. now if, under these conditions, the bride and groom (especially the latter) are ignorant of the real construction of the parts, and so should try to make a union of the organs, they would find such union obstructed, if not impossible; and if the man, puzzled, and impatient, and passion-driven, should _force_ a hasty entrance into the vagina, rupturing the hymen ruthlessly, he would hurt the woman cruelly, probably cause her to _bleed_ freely from the wounded parts, and shock her seriously! all of which would be a score against the husband, would brand him as a brute, or a bungler, and so tend to make his "sun-aimed arrow alight in the mud." the thing to do here, is, first of all, to know the situation and to talk it over, and carefully, delicately, do the best that can be done about it. if the conditions are fully understood by the bride and groom, they can, in almost every case, by working and moving together carefully, overcome the obstacle, remove the hymen with little or no pain or loss of blood. as a matter of fact, when the time for meeting comes, if all the facts are known, and the husband will hold his erect penis still and steady against the hymen, the bride will so press against it, and "wiggle around" it, that _by her own motions_, she will break the membrane and so be rid of it. she knows how much pain she can endure, and when the pressure is too hard she can relieve it by her own action! anyhow, what is done _she does_ herself, and so can never charge up against her husband! it is a rare case in which, by mutual willingness, and desire and mutual effort to remove the obstruction, it cannot be eliminated with satisfaction to both bride and groom. if, however, careful and well-executed efforts fail to remove it, the services of a surgeon should be procured, and he, by a very simple and almost painless operation, can remove the difficulty. but never, _no never_, should it be brutally torn away by the force of the husband, and without the full willingness of the wife. _mark this well_. as a matter of fact, the wise and practical thing for every bride to do, would be to go to a surgeon a few days before her wedding, and have him remove the hymen for her. such operation is nearly painless, and is very easily done. still, to do this might raise a doubt of virginity on the part of the husband and so this is a point to be careful about! the act of removing the hymen is often spoken of as "defloration"--the tearing to pieces of a flower. the term is not fortunate. nothing worth while has been taken away by removing the hymen, but much that is useful has been acquired. an organ that has outlived whatever usefulness it might once have had has been removed, and its going has made possible new and beautiful uses in life. if this has been accomplished by the mutual desire and effort of the bride and groom, it is a cause for joy and not of sorrow; of delight and not of mourning. as well weep over the removal of the vermiform appendix as for the destruction of the hymen. with this obstacle rightly overcome, the second act of coitus offers no situation that calls for further remark or explanation. and now a few words about the probabilities of conception resulting from coitus, and some matters which are very closely related thereto. in the first place, every healthy and fairly-well-provided-for husband and wife should desire to have children, and should act in accordance with such wish. this is not only in harmony with the primary purpose of sex in the human family, but it is a response to a natural demand of the human soul, in both man and woman. as bernard shaw makes jack tanner say: "there is a father-heart as well as a mother-heart" and _parenthood is the supreme desire of all normal and wholesome-minded men and women._ it is not an "instinct," but something far above that quality. parenthood among mere animals is the result of instinct, and of that alone, but not so in the human race. human beings naturally desire to make a home for themselves, and a home, in the fullest meaning of that word, means _children_ and a "family circle." this is something that animals know nothing about. animal mothers forget and ignore their progeny as soon as they are weaned; and animal fathers will, in many cases, kill them as soon as they are born, if they get a chance to do so. these facts prove that parenthood, in the human family, is something much more than in the rest of the animal kingdom. indeed, the whole matter of comparing this quality, as it exists in humanity, with that of animals merely, is only a continuance of the similar abomination of comparing the sex functions of these two forms of life. in the real essentials of existence, they are in no way comparable; and to make such is not only folly, but approaches the positively criminal. the results of doing so certainly lead to crime. fundamentally, then, nearly all men and women marry with the purpose and hope of having a family of children. they may not put it that way, may not even acknowledge it, even to each other or to themselves; but if married people find that they _cannot_ produce, it is a source of unspeakable regret to them both. in such cases, the inherent desire for parenthood will "cry aloud and spare not." a "barren" woman greatly mourns her inability, and will shed bitter tears over the fact, if she be truly human; and an "impotent" man will be practically despised by all who are aware of his incompetence. and yet, though all normal men and women desire to have children, it is only right that they should desire to have them _as they want them_, and _when_ they want them, and not _whenever they may happen to come!_ that is, sensible and thoughtful people, who plan definitely for the future, want to make the coming of children to them an affair of _deliberate_ arrangement, and not of _chance_. this is not only as it should be, but is really the only right way that children should be begotten and born. which statement calls for a few special words on the right of parents to regulate the production of progeny. there is much talk, in some quarters, about "race suicide," and the wickedness of deliberately limiting the number of children in a family. such talking and writing arouse anxious questionings in the minds of conscientious young married men and women who are desiring to do the right thing in the premises, but are uncertain as to what the right thing is, and for such are the following words: many years ago, an english philosopher and statesman, malthus by name, discovered and announced the fact that the rate of natural increase in the human race was several times greater than that of the possible rate of production of food supply for their support. scientifically phrased, his statement was that "the rate of increase in humanity is in geometrical ratio, while the rate of increase of possible food supply is in arithmetical ratio." and from this basis, he reasoned that, unless the surplus of human production was in some way cut off and destroyed, the whole human race would ultimately demand more food supply than could possibly be produced; and so, in due course of time, the whole race would perish from starvation! then he proceeded to reason that the purpose of disease, plague, pestilence, famine, poverty and warfare was to cut off and destroy the _surplus_ of humanity, and hence all these alleged evils were in reality blessings in disguise, and that _it would be wrong to interfere_ with their really beneficent workings! volumes could be written, and they could not tell the half of the misery and evil that the promulgation of this doctrine has done for the civilized world, but there is no space here for giving any such details; nor need this be done, though the statement of the doctrine had to be made to make ready for what is to follow. now, is it not far more reasonable to suppose that, _since the possibility of determining the number of off-spring a husband and wife may produce has been given them_; that since such result can be, for them, made a matter of _choice_, of an _exercise of the will_, and not of _blind instinct_--under these circumstances, all of which undoubtedly exist, is it not far more reasonable to believe that it is the _purpose of the creator_ that the limiting of the number of human beings in the world should be brought about by _curbing the birth rate_, rather than by _killing the surplus_ after they are born! there can be but one answer made to this question, by any intelligent man or woman. these facts, then, establish the _rightfulness of determining the number and size of a family by every husband and wife_. but this does not mean that they are to entirely refrain from cohabiting, in order to keep from having children! this phase of the argument has already been gone over and disposed of. but it _does_ mean that husbands and wives have a right to use such rightful means for the limiting of the number of offspring as are conducive to the interests of all parties concerned--themselves, their circumstances, the born or unborn children, the state, the nation. let the bride and groom be well convinced and established in their own minds on these points, as early in their relation as possible. they should be so from the very outset--_must_ be so, to reach the best results. the issue then presents itself: how can such deliberate and wilful determination of the number of children a husband and wife may have, be brought about? and the answer is, that _it can never be accomplished by careless and hap-hazard cohabiting!_ on the contrary, it can only be compassed by the most _careful_ and _watchful_ processes of engaging in coitus, and by a _full knowledge_ of physiological facts, and by acting, _always_, in accordance with the same. it is no road for careless travel, but it is a way worth going in, for all that. on this point, let it be said that all sane and intelligent men and women agree that anything even approaching _infanticide_ is nothing short of a crime, and that abortion, except for the purpose of saving the life of the mother, is practically murder. but, while this is all true, to prevent the contact of two germs which, if permitted to unite, would be liable to result in a living human form, is _quite another affair_. it is only this aspect of the situation which will be considered in what follows. now, as has already been shown, the essentials for conception consist of having the ovum present in the womb, and its meeting the semen there. the corollary of this is, that whenever these coincidences take place, there is a _possibility_ for conception. but in all _normal_ cases, the ovum only passes into the womb once in every twenty-eight days; and, as a rule, it only remains in the womb for about half that period of time, that is, for about or days in each month. and so, since the menstrual flow ceases after about five days from its beginning, in about ten days _after_ its stopping, the ovum will have passed out of the womb, and hence that organ contains nothing that is impregnable. under these conditions, semen may be deposited in the womb, without danger of impregnation. this is a simple proposition, and easy to understand if once known. however, it must be said that these _generally_ common conditions _do not always obtain_--that is, they are _not_ true in the case of _all_ women. there are women who will conceive at _any_ time in the month, if they are given a chance to do so. the physiological reason for such possibility is said to be this: there are always ova in the ovaries, in varying stages of development. ordinarily, only once a month do any of these pass down into the womb; but, in exceptional cases, sometimes these ova are so partially held in the ovaries that, under the excitement of coitus, and because all these parts dilate so much during the act, an ovum may slip its moorings, under such conditions, pass down into the uterus at an untimely season, meet the semen there, and pregnancy result. such are the facts _in some cases_. how, then, can a husband and wife tell how it is, or will be, in _their_ particular case? the answer is that they can only tell by trying, and that should be done as follows: the _first_ sexual meeting of the bride and groom should _never_ take place until at least _ten days after the ceasing of the menstrual flow in the bride! this is a rule that should never be violated_ if the parties wish to "_test out_" the real condition as to whether or not the bride has any "free time." the chances are several to one that she _has_ such leeway; but the fact can only be established by "proving up" and this can _never_ be done if any _chances_ are taken. put this down as rule number one. for this reason, it is well for the bride to fix the wedding day; and, if possible, for her to locate it sometime during the probably immune period. and the nearer she can bring this day to the _beginning_ of such period of freedom from danger of pregnancy, the better. for, if it should happen that the first coitus should take place only a _day or two before_ the time when another "monthly" was due, such excitement might hasten the passage of the nearly-ripe ovum into the uterus, and conception might occur. in which case, "all the fat would be in the fire," nothing would be proved, and the parties would be as ignorant as ever regarding the facts in _their_ case. and so, the _first_ sexual meeting of a bride and bridegroom should be not _earlier_ than _ten days after the ceasing of the menstrual flow and not later than three days before the next monthly is due. put that_ _down as rule number two, never to be violated._ and if marriage takes place before this period of probable immunity on the part of the bride arrives, the only safe thing to do is to "patiently wait" till such time arrives. this may "require fortitude" on the part of both parties, but it is the only safe thing to do. and to do just that, will amply repay such waiting. the writer knows of a case where the wedding took place just three days before the bride's next monthly was due, and she and her husband waited for more than _two weeks_ before they met sexually! but it paid to wait, for their doing so proved that the bride had _two weeks_ of "_free time_" in _each month, and this was worth all it cost to find out! take time!_ and now let it be added that it is a great accomplishment for a husband and wife to be free from a fear of pregnancy as a result of coitus. this is a thousand times truer for the woman than for the man, for it is she who has to bear the burden of what follows, if following there be. the husband can "do the deed" and go about his business. the wife, if "the fertile seed" takes root, has before her months of care and anxiety, and she risks her very life in what may come of it all. for these reasons, she has a _right to dictate all the terms_ which are liable to cause her to become a mother. _and yet she should do this with full regard for the husband, in love, in true wifely-womanhood._ on this point, do not fail to read "the helpmate," by may sinclair. it is a story that no bride and bridegroom should fail to read and study, carefully. the whole subject of how to engage in satisfactory coitus and avoid pregnancy may be summed up as follows:--the attainment of such a condition is well worth the most careful, earnest and honestly pains-taking endeavor. for, if such status be not reached, its lack will be a source of endless contentions and differences between the husband and wife. it will lead to jealousies, quarrels, and all sorts of marital woes. but, the situation once mastered, by the most loving and accurate of scientific methods of procedure, a happy married life is certain to result. otherwise, the "married state" will always be in a condition of "unstable equilibrium." so let every bride and bridegroom begin, _from the first_, to try to establish the greatly to be desired accomplishment. if anything further on this point should be desired, consult a reliable physician. viii the art of love and still there is more to be said! is it not written that "art is long!" _and the art of love is the longest of all arts, and the most difficult of all for its complete mastery and attainment!_ it is a matter of misfortune, and yet one of not infrequent occurrence, that the sex organs of husband and wife are _not well matched_; and that trouble, sometimes of a most serious nature, results. when this condition is found to exist, it should be treated sanely and wisely, and the chances are many to one that the difficulty can be overcome, to the full satisfaction of both parties concerned. in such cases, the mis-matching usually arises from the fact that the penis of the husband is too long for the vagina of the wife. this is very apt to be the case where the wife is of the "dumpy" sort, with a small mouth and short fingers, while the husband is "gangling," large mouthed and long fingered. these are facts that ought to be taken into account before marriage, and which should figure in determining whether the parties are "suited" to each other. they _would_ be regarded in this way, too, if they were generally known, as they most surely are not. here is another place where ignorance and "innocence" get in their work, and make trouble in married life! in such a case as this, the too-long penis, when fully inserted in the too-short vagina, and especially when, at the orgasm, the two organs are crowded together vigorously, as the impulse of both parties demands they should be at this part of the act, the end of the penis is driven against the rear walls of the vagina, often furiously, thus stretching and straining the vaginal passage longitudinally, pressing against the womb unnaturally, and not infrequently pushing it out of place and sometimes rupturing the uterine tract seriously, hence causing all sorts of unfortunate and greatly-to-be-regretted results. because of such danger, the first meeting of the husband and wife should be accomplished with the utmost care, especially in the _second_ part of the act, the first putting together of the organs. this is the only way of determining, in each case, how the organs will "fit," and happy are the parties thereto if such fit is found to be perfect! but if it should turn out that there is a mismatching, of the nature just described, the conditions can be adjusted if the right means are used. (before telling this, however, it should be stated that the relative size of the sex organs can never be fully judged of by the size of the body of a man or a woman. many a small man has an abnormally large and long penis, and many a little woman has a large vulva and a long vagina; and the reverse of all this is true, in the case of many men and women. these items in the count are among the things that can never be known with certainty except by actual trial, and this is not possible, as things are now.) and so, if "mis-matching" is found to exist, in any given case, it can be provided for, in most cases as follows: instead of taking the position for coitus which has already been described--the woman on her back and the man over and above her--let _this_ be done: let the man lie on his left side, or partly on his left side and partly on his back, facing the woman, his left leg drawn up so that the thigh makes an angle of degrees with the body, and the knee bent at about the same angle. now let her, lying on her right side, mount into his arms, in this way: let her place her right hip in the angle made by her husband's left thigh and his body, so that _his left leg_ supports _her hips_, by being under them; put her right leg between his legs, throw her left leg over his right leg, put her right arm around his neck, and her left arm should be placed across his body under his right arm. his left arm should be placed around her waist from below, and his right arm left free to move over her body, as he may choose. now in _this_ position, the man's hips make a sort of saddle into which the woman "vaults" easily, naturally, and with the greatest of comfort; while the man, with his whole body supported by the bed, as he lies, will be perfectly comfortable, and can maintain the position much longer, without tiring, than he could were he over and above the woman, supporting himself by his elbows and knees, and with the woman's arms around his waist, lifting her body thereby, and thus adding her weight to his, all to be sustained by him. a moment's consideration will disclose the fact that this position has many points in its favor, beyond that of the man-superior form. the woman, in this position, is not wholly superior, but she is partly on her right side and partly on her belly. her whole weight rests on her husband's body, but her weight does not tire him, as the bed below him easily supports them both. now, in this position, the sex organs are brought closely together and their union is easily accomplished. but see! it is _now_ the _woman_, and not the _man_ who has _full control_ of such meeting, and so can regulate it to _her liking_, or _needs_. her hips are perfectly free to move towards, or from, those of the man; and so _she can determine just how much or how little of his penis shall enter her vagina!_ and if his penis is too long for her, she can accommodate her action to such fact! as for the man, his satisfaction will be fully equal to, if not greater than it would be were he in the other position. the ease afforded to his body, and the fact that he need have no fear of hurting the woman, these things will be a delight to him, that is of real value, and which will make for his delectation as much as for that of the woman in his arms. the in-and-out motion is as easily performed in this position as in the other; and at the climax, the organs can be crowded together passionately, and still without hurting the woman. for she, being free to move, can so curve her hips that the pelvic bone, the _mons veneris_, as it is technically called, will receive the most of the pressure, and at the same time the angle which is thus made by the relative positions of the vagina and the penis will keep the latter from penetrating the vagina too far, and so will protect its rear walls and the womb from all danger of harm. the orgasm is just as perfect in this position as in the other. it is just as _natural_ as the other position, and has only to be tried to be proved worthy. and now one other point. (curious how these details protract themselves. but there is no help for it. we must continue, now that we have begun.) a very frequent cause of married unsatisfaction is the fact of the _difference of time_ that it takes for the husband and wife to come to the climax, the orgasm. as has already been noted, the highest delight in the act comes when this climax is simultaneous, comes at exactly the same instant to both parties. but to bring this about is not easy in all cases, and hence what follows: as a rule, women are slower in reaching the orgasm than are men. this is not always so, but it is generally the case. some wives are so passionate that they will "spend" several times to their husbands' once! the author knows of a case where the wife will regularly experience the orgasm four or five times to her husband's once. she is a lovely wife and a highly accomplished woman, in no sense "fleshy" or "worldly minded." the situation is that her sex organs are exceedingly sensitive while those of her husband are the reverse, they are "timed" differently, that is all. the case is rare, and as a rule, women are "timed" slower than men. again, after a man has passed the orgasm it is, in most cases, impossible for him to continue the act, right then and there, and bring the woman to the climax, if she has not yet arrived, from the fact that, with the expulsion of the semen, usually detumescence of the penis at once takes place, and the organ is incapable of exciting the woman when in this condition. and so, if the husband "goes off" _first_, there is no possibility of the wife's reaching the climax at that embrace. this leaves her unsatisfied, all her sex organs congested, and the whole situation is unsatisfactory, in the extreme. on the other hand, if the wife comes to the orgasm first, her vulva and vagina detumesce but little and that very slowly, so that it is perfectly possible for the husband to continue his action, and come to the climax, even if his partner has already "spent." under these conditions it is easy to see that, where the wife is "keyed" or "timed" much slower than her husband, as is quite often the case, coitus is very liable to be a very one-sided affair, one in which the _husband gets all the satisfaction, and the wife little or_ none--_a most unfortunate status for both parties, but especially for the wife._ the writer once knew a case where a husband and wife lived together to celebrate their golden wedding, and the wife never once experienced an orgasm, though the husband cohabited with her several times a month, during the most of their married life. there was no good reason why this should have been so, only that the husband was "quick in action" and the wife somewhat slow, and they had never synchronated their time differences. the dear old lady died at ninety, never having known a joy that, since her bridal night, she had wished for. both the husband and wife were most excellent people. _they simply didn't know!_ one was ignorant and the other innocent, and there you are again! now the thing to do, under such circumstances, is for the parties to "get together." and the way to do this is, first, to _prolong the first part_ of the act, till the wife has not only caught up with, but is even _ahead_ of her husband in the state of her passion. to bring about this condition, _the husband should use every means to stimulate his wife's sex-nature and increase her desire for coition._ here are some things he can do, which will tend to produce such results: a woman's breasts are directly connected with all her reproductive nerves. this is especially true of her nipples. to touch them is to directly excite all of her sex organs. the lips and tongue are also thus nervously connected with these vital parts, and, so, if the husband will "play" with his wife's breasts, especially with her nipples, manipulating them with his fingers, or, better still, with his lips and tongue--at the same time, if he will stroke her vulva with his fingers, especially the clitoris, _and if she will encourage him to do this_, by holding her breast with one hand, shaking it about as her nipple is in her lover's lips; if, lying flat on her back, her husband at her right side, and with his left arm around her waist, she will spread her legs wide apart, thus opening the vulva to its utmost, and sway her hips, raising and lowering them betimes; and, since she has a free hand, if, with this, she will take her husband's penis with it and "play" with it as her lover plays with her vulva--if they will do this, the cases are rare in which passion will not grow in the wife to almost any desirable extent. under such "courting," the parts will all enlarge, the pre-coital secretion will flow in abundance; and, in due course, all will be ready for the second part of the act. this part of coitus is, really, one of the most enjoyable of the entire performance. if, perchance, the pre-coital secretion should be tardy in appearing on the part of the wife, so that the vulva is dry as the husband strokes it, let him moisten the part with saliva from his mouth. to do this, let him moisten his _fingers_ from his mouth, and transfer this to the vulva, and then proceed with his stroking. this moistening the vulva with saliva may be repeated _several_ times, _if necessary_, always until the flow of pre-coital fluid from the parts themselves renders any further moistening needless. _the stroking of the dry vulva will do little toward the arousing of passion, or producing the pre-coital flow_. but if the parts be moistened, as above directed, both these desired results will follow, except in _very_ rare cases. and let no one make the mistake of thinking that thus moistening the vulva with saliva is unseemly, or unsanitary. it is neither. on the contrary, it is nature's way of helping to perfection an act which, but for such timely assistance, might never be brought to a successful issue. as has already been noted, chemically, saliva and the pre-coital fluid are almost identical. they are both a natural secretion of a mucous membrane, are alkaline in reaction, their native purpose is lubrication, and, as a matter of fact, the saliva is as natural an application to the lips of the vulva as it is to the interior of the mouth or throat. truth to tell, the practice of applying saliva to the genitals before coition is very general, so much so that it might almost be counted as instinctive. it is mentioned here only to remove any prejudice that might linger in the sophisticated mind of the reader. such use of saliva is no more to be deprecated than its application in a hundred other ways, such as moistening the fingers to turn a leaf, of "licking" one's fingers after eating candy. such use of this fluid from the mouth might be condemned by the "over-nice," but it is quite universally practiced, and it is neither unwholesome nor unsanitary. it is sometimes recommended that some form of oil, as sweet oil or vaseline, be used as an unguent for anointing the parts before engaging in coitus, but this practice cannot be recommended. oil is not a natural product of the parts to which it is applied, it is chemically unlike their secretions, and to smear the delicate organs with a fluid that is foreign to their nature, is unwise, unsanitary, not to say filthy. it is like greasing the mouth to make food slip down easily. and it is easy to understand how such application of an unguent to the mouth would impair the taste, dull the nerves of sensation, and greatly interfere with the native and wholesome uses of the oral cavity. so don't be afraid or ashamed to use saliva in preparing the vulva and the vagina for the reception of their natural mate. and so, to return to where we left off, if the wife is slower timed than her husband, her passion can be greatly increased by the manipulation just described. indeed, it could be very easily carried to such length--the lips and tongue playing with the nipple, and the finger-stroking of the vulva--that the woman could be brought to an orgasm without the union of the organs at all! this is a form of masturbation (this word has a bad meaning attached to it, but it is a good word, as will shortly be shown, and it has its legitimate uses; but, as a preparation for coition, it should not be carried any further than is essential for bringing the laggard passion of the woman up to an equal tension of that of her lover.) a few weeks', or months', practice will enable a wife to determine just how much of this form of "courting" will bring her to the desired point of excitement; and, when this point is reached, she should invite her husband to "come up over," if the first position is to be adopted for the rest of the act; or, she should throw herself into her lover's arms, if the second position is used. just a little more--if, after getting into one position or the other, it seems to the wife that she is not yet fairly abreast of her husband in the intensity of her passion, let her _still further_ seek to advance it, as follows: if the position with the husband superior is taken, let him, after he has gotten into place and before the organs are united, have his wife take his penis in her hand, and, as he moves his hips up and down, stroke her vulva, especially the clitoris, with the glans penis--not entering the vagina at once, but continuing this form of _exterior_ contact of the organs, for a longer or shorter time--slipping past the wide open vaginal mouth, even when the wife raises her thighs and, as it were, begs for an entrance; tantalizing her to the point of distraction--till, finally, she will "take no for an answer" no longer, but will, in an ecstacy, slip the penis into the vagina, and thus consummate their union. if she be far enough abandoned with her passion, such entrance may be made at a single stroke, not to say a furious plunge. but if the vulva and vagina are not yet fully dilated, the entrance should be carefully made, gently made, as she can bear it, as _she_ wishes it to be. sometimes, yes, not infrequently, in this position, the external stroking of the organs may be continued to the very verge of the orgasm, so that, especially if the entrance can be made, as it were, in a frenzy of passionate delight, the organs coming into full length union at a single impulse, or rushing together--then the simultaneous climax _may_ be reached with one or two in-and-out motions--or, perhaps the single master-plunge may win the goal instanter! if so, a consummation devoutly to be wished has been successfully reached! again, if the wife is slow, and the man is quick, in this play for "getting together," it will enable the man to greatly extend and protract what might be called the time of his possible _retention_, if he can keep the foreskin over the glans penis. some men cannot do this. if they have been circumcised, of course they cannot! but if the glans penis can be covered with the foreskin during all this playing together, it will enable the husband to prolong his "retentional time" far beyond what he otherwise could. some men have the power of "retaining" to almost any length of time by the exercise of their will power, and so they can _wait_ for their wives. if the wife is slower timed than the husband, he should _carefully cultivate the "art of retaining"_ and so wait for her. _to do this successfully will greatly increase married happiness_. this same remark (keeping the gland covered) applies with equal force to the possibilities of the man's retention after the organs are united, and all through the third part of the act. if the penis can enter the vagina with its "natural cap on," the husband can give his wife the pleasure of many times the amount of in-and-out motion than he could otherwise bestow upon her. and if the wife is the slower of the two (as is generally the case) she will greatly appreciate such a favor, and will repay it a thousand fold by the responsive, reciprocal motions which she will lavish upon her _considerate_ lover. this is an item of almost supreme importance--this "keeping the cap on" the penis, during the act, _if the wife is slower than the husband_--if they need to have a care, to insure their "getting off together." and here is a curious fact, which would seem to show that mother nature has especially provided a blissful reward for both the husband and wife who will be careful on this point. thus, if the husband will be careful to have the glans penis covered with the foreskin (and, of course, this can _never_ be, if the organs are united when the vulva and vagina are dry) when it enters the vagina, and will so engage in the in-and-out motion that it will _stay covered_ as the _third_ act progresses--if this is done, when the climax comes, if the two "spend together," the womb will open its mouth as it were, clasp the foreskin, slip it back over the gland so that, when the supreme instant comes, the naked gland will be in the most direct and blissful contact with the most sensitive part of the uterus! this is a most wonderful provision of nature, and to utilize it, and enjoy it to its utmost, is the maximum of human delight! again, if after the organs are well together, in the man-superior position, and the in-and-out motion has begun, it should be found that the wife is still behind in the game, she can gain greatly in "catching up" if she is permitted to _originate_ the larger part of the motion. to enable her to do this, let her husband hold his body quite well above her, so that she can have plenty of freedom to move her hips as she may choose to. added to this, if the husband will, in large measure, "hold still," and keep his penis in such position that it presses against the _upper part_ of the vulva, that is against the clitoris, (as the phrase goes, if he will "ride high") and then permit his _wife_ to make "long strokes," sliding the organs together for their full possible length, with the clitoris in constant contact with the penis, during the whole of each stroke--all of this will greatly and rapidly increase her passions and bring her to the climax. or, as a variation from this, if the organs can be united to their fullest possible limit, so that the base of the penis presses firmly against the mons veneris, and the clitoris and labiae almost clasp their mate; and then, in this position, if the husband will maintain the _status quo_, while she lifts her hips hard against his, and _swings them about_, in a sort of circular motion "round and round," as it were--this will also greatly increase her passion, and soon bring her to the climax. in both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be _extra careful not_ to permit the weight of his body to press down heavily upon his wife. he should _wholly_ sustain himself on his elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips, by the help of her arms around his waist. this is no hardship for the husband, if he be a true lover. for is he not strong, and what is his strength for but to delight his sweetheart? _a true, devoted, virile and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! to delight her, is to doubly delight himself_. this is another point of which mere animals know nothing. there is nothing in all their nature which responds to the like of this, in any way. the whole experience is _human_; it is productive of a joy, of a _spiritual elevation_, which mere animality knows nothing of--can know nothing of. playing thus together, courting each other thus (for, through all these actions, a line of _complete mutualness must run_! the husband may _seem_ to be specially accommodating himself, and all he does, to his wife's whims or necessities; but, even so, this will be more of a delight to _him_ than it is to _her_, viewed from the _spiritual plane_, on the principle that "it is more blessed to give than to receive"--and no truer words than these were ever spoken--while, at the same time, the wife, though _seeming_ only to be gratifying herself, to be reaching after what she alone desires, yet, as a matter of fact, by her very so doing--and the more perfectly, completely, she does this, the better--she is gratifying and delighting her husband to the utmost possible limit) courting each other thus, the lovers will learn to "time" themselves together, perfectly, each knowing just when the other is fully ready, by a sort of _spiritual consciousness_, as it were, and so a perfect climax can be reached. take time, let love rule and direct; banish all selfishness; _let the husband keep his head, and_ the wife utterly lose hers, throwing it to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion; feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where! do these things, and married life will be glorious! of such is the kingdom of heaven, for the truly wedded lovers! this will be "all greek," or "foolishness" to the selfish and materially-minded; but to the truly wise, it will be _life immeasurable_. this is a paradox, but it takes a paradox to tell the greatest truths! so much for the act of coitus in the man-superior position, when the wife is slower timed than the husband and they adopt this method, and the accompanying means for "getting together." now, if the other position is taken, that of the wife semi-superior, in the husband's arms, as he lies partly on his back and partly on his left side, etc., here are a few points to be noted to advantage. still assuming that the wife is the slower-timed of the two, it is entirely possible that when she has "come over" and has gotten into position, that she may not yet be fully ready for the union of the organs. the very time that it takes for her to get into position, the changing of the position of her body, from her back to her right side; the temporary cessation of the stroking of the vulva by her husbands's [sic] fingers; all these things will have a tendency to retard her passion, for the time being, and all this loss ought to be made good, if not added to, before the _second_ part of the act is entered upon. and, in this position, all this can most happily be brought about, as follows:-- lying in each other's arms, in this _second_ described position, the organs naturally _come_ into contact in such a way as to make the further excitation of the vulva and clitoris most natural and easy. the spreading of the wife's hips, caused by her throwing her left leg over her husband's right and drawing up of her left knee, opens the vulva wide; and, at the same time, the penis, from the very nature of its position, will lie at full length in the opening, thus exposed--not entering the vagina, but remaining "without the gate" as yet. by this time the vulva will have become enlarged and elongated, the lips full and the clitoris erect, all in a state of tumescence, and all covered with the pre-coital fluid; the lips so distended that, when thus parted, they form the sides of a labial canal, as it were (a delectable, and most delicately smooth-walled channel). now, in this extended condition, which is fully as long as the penis, from end to end of its pathway of dalliance, every part covered with the most delicately sensitive nerve-filaments, and all of these in an ecstasy of keenness to the sense of touch, and in the most perfect of "love's strolling way,"--if the penis, as it were, stands up full and strong, in such fashion that it touches the vulva at every point, both inner and outer labiae, the clitoris and all, for a space of five or six inches in length; while the protruded and well-moistened lips of the vulva as it were reach out, and clasp themselves at least half way around their suitor, laving him with their luscious kisses--in this position, the wife being partly above, and so, perfectly free to move her "love way" as she will, she can slide the pathway itself a full six or more inches, up and down, stroking all the area against the penis as she moves; that, again, by its very position, being held firmly in contact by its stiffness and stoutness; the glans penis throbbing lustily against the clitoris when the two meet at the extreme of the wife's up-stroke; she, pausing an instant, just then, to more perfectly enjoy the sensation; the penis slipping past the now wide open vaginal mouth, which reaches out at every down stroke to engulf it--dallying, delaying, coquetting, tantalizing, both man and woman; playing the game in almost a swoon of ecstatic delight--under such conditions the wife's passion will rush to its fullest development, till, when she will, she can drop her vagina upon the penis in such a way that the _two will be made one_, in absolute perfection, on a single move, and from this to the finish it is but a few motions distant. in some respects this manner of coitus, and this means of "going off together" is unsurpassed. which leads to the remark that this position is sometimes the best for the full completion of the act. it is the easiest of all positions, the least fatiguing. and if the wife is tired, or not quite "up to grade," she can enjoy an embrace of this sort without fatigue, even to the full. for the organs can be united in this position quite perfectly, though the penis will not penetrate the vagina to as great a length as in the other position. still, the climax can be perfectly reached in this way, and it is one of the best ways to make sure of perfect "timing," of "spending" exactly together, which is greatly in its favor. if there is a mis-matching of the organs, the vagina of the wife being too short for her husband's penis, this is a most excellent way for meeting and overcoming that difficulty. this naturally leads to another matter, as follows:--it might seem to the reader that the different "strokings" of the vulva, with the fingers, or the penis, all the contact being outside the vagina, that all of these methods of excitation smack of masturbation, and so are of doubtful rightness. in reply to which, note the following: the entire affair of coition, in humanity, has already been shown to be something wholly above and beyond mere animality. it is the exercise of functions that belong _only to mankind_, and hence is not amenable to _any_ merely _animal_ laws or restrictions! it is the source of numberless human joys, and _any_ method of engaging in the act of mutual delight, that is, of _mutually happifying_, is legitimate and _altogether right_. and so, if the parties choose to increase their mutual delight, if the husband wishes to arouse and intensify his wife's passion by stroking her vulva with his saliva-moistened fingers, and _she wishes him to do so_, such act is as right and as wholesome as is coitus in the by-some-supposed-to-be _only_ way of its exercise. let this never be doubted. the fact is, this whole matter of sexual excitation by means of the hand, or in other ways than the union of the organs, has received a black eye at the hands of would be purists, which it in no way deserves. as already noted, the word masturbation has been fastened to such acts, and then, any and every form of it has been condemned far beyond what the facts warrant, till the minds of the rank and file are wholly misled in the premises! when one looks at the situation from the point of view which insists that _all_ the sex functions should be under the control of the _will_, then light is thrown upon the entire subject. seen in this way, _any_ form of sex stimulation, or auto-erotism even (auto-erotism means _self_ sex-excitation) which is not carried to excess, is _right_ and _wholesome_! but we have been taught the contrary of this for so long that it is difficult for us to realize that it is true. _but it is_! hence, if it should sometimes happen that the husband should arrive at the climax before the wife does, and he could not bring her to an orgasm by excitation with his spent penis, it would be _perfectly right for him to substitute his fingers, and satisfy her in that way_. of course, this would not be as satisfying to her as it would have been could she have met him simultaneously, but it is _far better than for her not to be entirely gratified! many a woman_ suffers all night long _with unsatisfied desire, her organs congested and tumescent, because she has been left_ unsatisfied _by a husband who has spent before she was ready_, and then left her! such cases might be _entirely relieved_, if the parties _knew the truth_, and were not too _ignorant_, or _prejudiced_, or _ashamed_ to do what should be done to make the best of a situation. of course, no husband should make a _practice_ of gratifying himself fully, and then bringing his wife to the climax with his fingers. such a practice would be _selfish_ and _wrong_. but as an _emergency_ way of escape, the method is to be commended. of course, as has already been explained, the husband always has the advantage, that he can be brought to the orgasm by the insertion of the penis into the vagina, _after_ his wife has spent, if she arrives first, since her organs detumesce slowly, and their distended condition permits such action on his part, for some time after she has passed the climax. but not so with the husband. once spent, his penis shrinks to limpness, almost immediately, and in this condition it cannot satisfy the wife in the least, much less bring her to an orgasm. again, if, for any reason, the wife should be unable to meet her husband in coitus proper, because of weakness, or slight illness, or perhaps some temporary soreness of the parts, it would help the situation wonderfully if _she_ would take _his_ penis in _her_ hand and "play with it" till he _spent_. he would love her for it, kiss her for it, give her his soul for it! _if a bride and bridegroom knew enough to introduce each other to the delights of an orgasm by "spending" each other by external excitation of the organs with their hands a few times before they united the organs at all, it would be to their lasting well being. this is especially true for the bride_. if her lover would take her in his arms, even with all her clothes on, as she sat on his lap, in their bridal chamber, alone, and stroke her vulva till she "_spent,_" the chances are many to one that he would have introduced her to such a joy that she would never forget it, all her life. surely, such method is _infinitely superior_ to _raping_ a bride, as is so frequently done by the ignorant or goody-good young husband, who "stands upon his _rights_!" indeed, if a bride to be, who was so innocent or ignorant of her own sex possibilities that she had never experienced an orgasm--had never "spent"--could be "put wise" before her bridal-night, if she could be instructed enough to lead her to engage in some form of auto-erotism, bringing herself to an orgasm with her own hand, _just for the sake of the experience it would give her, and so that she would have some clear idea of what she really wanted, before she went into the arms of her lover--if she could do this, in the right mental attitude, it would be greatly to her well-being, a worthy and valuable addition to her stock of knowledge of herself and of the powers that are latent within her. her alleged loss of innocence by such act would be as nothing compared with the wisdom she would gain by the experience. when innocence leads to harmful results, it is time it was ended, and that knowledge takes its place!_ as for the husband, the chances are not one in a million that he will be ignorant of what an orgasm is like before he marries, since all healthy young men "spend" at least once a week, automatically, if not otherwise! let it be said further, that auto-erotism, self-spending, may be practiced by both men and women, to their healthful benefit, when sexual exercise cannot be secured in any other way. it is only when _carried to excess_ that such action is in any way harmful. the only danger is, that, the individual being alone and having all the means for self-gratification in his or her own hands, so to speak, it is quite possible to indulge in the action too freely, which, of course, leads to bad results. _but the act itself is not bad._ on the contrary, when kept within bounds, it is healthful and wholesome. there are many unmarried women, maiden ladies, and especially widows, who would greatly improve their health if they practiced some form of auto-erotism, occasionally. when husbands and wives are forced to be much away from each other, it is right for them to occasionally satisfy themselves in this way, their souls filled with loving thoughts of the absent one the while. there is any amount of nonsense current about auto-erotism. as a matter of fact, all boys masturbate, and many girls also. some authors claim that more than half of all women engage in some form of auto-erotism, at some time in their lives, and the estimate is probably too low rather than too high. but, unless they carry the act to excess, they are guilty of no wrong. not infrequently, they may make the act a means of great good to themselves. _the sex organs are alive! they constantly secrete fluids that need to be excreted, as all other organs of the body do. they ought to be relieved, as their nature requires they should be._ if this cannot be accomplished as the most natural way prescribes, it is only right to do the next best thing. only, it should not be carried to excess. be temperate in all things. gratify yourself, but don't abuse yourself. auto-erotism, or masturbation, should never be permitted to become "self-abuse," nor is there any need that it should ever do so. it should be self-upbuilding, not self degrading. rightly used it can be thus. ix coitus reservatus this brings us to another item in the matter of sexual exercise on the part of the husband and wife, as follows:-- it should be the constant aim and endeavor of both parties to continually lift all sex affairs above the plane of animality, mere physical gratification, into the realm of _mental_ and _spiritual_ delight. to this end, let it be said at once that such a condition can be reached, in the greatest degree, by the practice of what is known, in scientific terms, as "_coitus reservatus,"_ which, translated, means going only _part_ of the way in the act, and not carrying it to its climax, the orgasm. described in terms with which the reader is now familiar, it means, carrying the act only through the first and second stages, the "courting" stage, and the union of the organs, and stopping there! this may seem, at first thought, neither right nor wise, but, as a matter of fact, it is both, as thousands of most happily married people have proved. going a bit into details, this act of "reservatus" really unites the first two parts of the act into a common whole, making it simply one continuous piece of "courting," merely that, and nothing more. it is almost entirely a _mental and spiritual love-embrace; and in its perfection, it exalts the husband and wife to the topmost heights of mental and spiritual enjoyment and expression_. to engage in this form of coitus, _not nearly_ the effort should be made to arouse the sexual passions of either of the parties, as has already been described as fitting for complete coitus. _the orgasm is not the desideratum in this case, but it is just a delightful expression of mutual love. it is a sort of prolonged and all-embracing kiss, in which the sex organs are included as well as the lips. they_ kiss each other, as the _lips_ kiss each other. it is "courting," par excellence, without the hampering of clothes or conventionality of any kind. in this act, the lovers simply _drift_, petting each other, chatting with each other, visiting, loving, caressing in any one or all of a thousand ways. the hands "wander idly over the body," the husband's right hand being specially free and in perfect position to stroke his wife's back, her hips, her legs, and pet her from top to toe. as this part of the act continues, it is the most natural thing in the world that the sex organs should tumesce, and that there should be a flow of both prostatic and pre-coital fluids. that is, the organs quietly and naturally make themselves ready for meeting. and when they are duly tumescent, are properly enlarged and lubricated, let the wife come over into her lover's arms, in the second position described, and the organs be slipped together easily, delightfully, and then, _let them stay so_, fully together, _but do not go on with the third part of the act_, the motion of the organs. just lie still and enjoy the embrace, kiss, chat, court, love, dream, enjoy! this union can be protracted to almost any length, after the lovers learn how to do it. sometimes the organs may be together only a few minutes, sometimes for an hour, or even longer. if the parties get tired, or sleepy, part the organs, kiss good-night, and go to sleep. although it is not at all uncommon for such lovers, who have fully learned this art, to go to sleep thus, in each other's arms, their sex organs united; and, in this position, have the organs detumesce, the penis grow limp and slip out of the vagina of its own accord, while the vagina also grows small and the clitoris subsides. this experience is most delightful and if once experienced, once well mastered by the husband and wife, it will continually grow in favor, to their mutual benefit. this method is of special service during the "unfree time." if rightly used, it will not tend to increase the desire for "spending," but it will, on the contrary, allay and satisfy the sexual desires, most perfectly. if, while learning how, sometimes the inexperienced should "get run away with," and feel that it is better to go on and have the climax, all right. but, as time goes on, the practice of carrying the act only to the end of the _second_ part, will grow, and in due time be well established. those who have mastered this wholesome and loving art will sometimes meet in this way a score of times during a month or so, without once coming to the climax. such meeting can be as often as the parties choose, and of as long, or as short duration as they elect. it is often an excellent way, to say "good-night;" and if, on waking in the morning, there is time before rising for a "little court," this slipping the organs together, for "just a minute," is a most excellent way to begin the day. the art is worth learning, and most people can learn it, if they try, _and are of the right spirit_! to go back a little: in speaking of mutual masturbation on the part of the husband and wife, this method of satisfying the sex nature is of great value, sometimes, especially for use during the unfree time. if, during these two weeks, the parties get "waked up," and feel the need of sex exercise, they can satisfy each other with their hands in a way that will be a great relief to each. this is specially true for the husband; and a wife, who is enough of a woman to thus meet her husband's sex-needs, with her hand, when it is not expedient for him to meet her otherwise, is a wife to worship! sometimes, during the five days of menstruation, during which time the union of the organs is deemed not best, the wife can thus help her lover with her hand, to their delight and benefit. _let love direct the way here, and all will be well_. and here is a curious fact: the hand of the opposite sex will produce effects on the genitals of the other which will _not_ be produced in any other way. thus, a man may hold his penis in his own hand for a given length of time, longer or shorter, and no result will be effected, no secretion of prostate fluid be made, at all. but let his wife take his penis in _her_ hand for the same length of time, and the flow of prostatic fluid will at once take place. this is true whether the penis be erect or detumescent. if the wife will hold her husband's limp penis in her hand for but a few minutes, even though the organ remains limp, the flow of prostatic fluid will take place! the same is true with regard to the husband's putting his hand on his wife's vulva. should _she_ hold her hand there, no pre-coital fluid would be secreted. with her husband's hand there, the flow would at once begin. this is a remarkable physical and psychological phenomenon, and it is one especially worthy of note. it is this fact that makes _mutual_ masturbation far superior to auto-erotism. a husband can thus satisfy a wife with his fingers, or a wife her husband with her hand, far better than either could bring himself or herself to the climax alone. this point is of great import, in considering many of the sex acts of husband and wife. as a rule, let the husband and wife do _whatever their desire prompts or suggests, and just as they feel they would_ like _to_. only this, let all be in moderation. _carry nothing to excess!_ which suggests the question often asked: how frequently may coitus be engaged in? the answer is, just as often as is desired by _both parties, but never to the point of weariness or depletion of the physical, mental or spiritual body_. use good sense here as elsewhere. we eat when we are hungry, but it is wrong to gorge oneself with food. the same rule holds with regard to sex exercise. _satisfy the calls of nature, but_ never, _overdo the matter_. be temperate, manly, womanly! _don't be afraid or ashamed to do what your desire and your best judgment say is right. use common sense, and you will not go wrong_. and don't wear each other out, either both together, or the one the other. many men insist on their rights (they have no rights) and greatly debilitate themselves by excess of coition with their wives. per contra, there are some women who wear the lives out of their husbands by the excessive calls they make upon them for sex-gratification. in the latter case, a man will "go to pieces" much faster than a woman who is over-taxed. to satisfy such a woman, a man must spend at least once every time his wife calls on him. this draws on his vital fluids, at every embrace; but, as has been stated, there is no escape of vital fluid from the woman, when she spends, and so she can reach and pass the orgasm, time and again, and still not have her vitality taxed. indeed, in some cases, the oftener a woman spends, the more animated, robust and healthful she becomes. in case unmatched people meet as husband and wife, they should do their best to adjust themselves to each other's condition, keeping always in mind the best welfare, each of the other. there are records of women who delight to spend a dozen times in a single night. one queen made a law that every man should cohabit with his wife at least seven times each night! of course, she was an abnormal woman, though the author once knew a good orthodox deacon who would have been delighted to live under the rule of such a law, for seven times a night was the limit his wife imposed upon him! he was also abnormal. luther said twice a week was the rule for coitus, and this is a very common practice. no absolute rule can be given, however, except for each couple to act as they feel, keeping always within the bounds of common sense and true temperance. there are some men and women so constituted, nervously, or by temperament, that they are _obliged_ to rigorously _limit_ their acts of coition. some men cannot engage in the act more than once or twice a month and maintain their health. for them, the act draws on their vitality so severely that it quite upsets them, in almost every case. during the act, they are subjected to nervous shocks, they "see stars," and undergo rigors and nervous sweats which are severely debilitating. often, too, they will lie awake all night after engaging in the act, and be more or less of a wreck for a day or two afterwards. some women, too, are of a similar nature of organization, and undergo similar experiences. of course, in all such cases, unusual care should be taken never to reach the point of excess. it is unfortunate if people are married who are ill-matched in this regard, especially so if the difference between the two is of a pronounced nature, as when the husband or the wife is very amorous and virile, while his or her mate is unable to engage in the act, to any considerable extent, without suffering therefrom. if such case arises, the best should be made of the situation, the more robust party accommodating himself or herself to the incompetency or inability of the other, and the weaker one doing all that can rightly be done to strengthen and develop his or her infirmity. if this is done, _the chances are many to one that, as times goes on, the parties will grow more and more alike--the strong becoming more docile and the weaker one more robust. take time, love each other, court and be courted, and only the best results trill come of it all_. now there are some women who are called "anesthetic," that is, they have no sex-passion, though the sex parts may be normal. many physicians declare that as high as forty per cent of the women _who are reared in modern social life_ are thus lacking. these women engage in coitus, though they get no pleasure from the act. they never reach the orgasm, and have no sensation of delight from the act; they seldom secrete the pre-coital fluid, and hence the union of the organs, or their motion, are never easy or pleasurable. they can become mothers, and often such bear many children. such condition is greatly to be regretted, and many women suffer greatly from this cause. it is highly probable, though, that many women who are counted as thus lacking are _not, really, so!_ many women will begin married life wholly anesthetic, and, often, sometime will become normal in this regard. _this often happens. the probability is that many wives are not properly "courted" by their husbands_--the first part of the act is neglected, _or the husband merely acts on his rights_--cohabits like a goat, all in an instant, anxious only to gratify his own _lust_; and that, _under such treatment, the wife never gets a fair chance to really know her own powers_. such cases are sad beyond telling. for the most part, _they are the result of ignorance on the part of the husband, and innocence and wrong teaching--wrong mental attitude--on the part of the wife_. hence the need of instructions to both. but if almost any woman will get the _right mental attitude_ toward sex-meeting, and then can be courted, as has been prescribed in these pages, the cases are _rare indeed_ where a woman can be found who is _really_ anesthetic. if you, wife, or you, husband, are "up against" such a condition, try "courting," as herewith laid down, _in a proper mood and spirit, and you will come out all right. there is no doubt of it_. on the contrary, if the man is "impotent" there is small hope of his ever coming out of such condition, and the chances are many to one that he will never be able to satisfy his wife sexually. he may be a "good man," in a way, but he can never be a good _husband_, in the full meaning of that word. on the other hand, if a woman marries for money, or a home, or position, or place, or power, or a "meal-ticket"--for _anything but love_, she will doubtless be anesthetic _and stay so_. she deserves to! she sells herself for a mess of pottage, whoever she is. she may be a "good woman," but she can never be a good _wife_. the question is sometimes asked as to how late in life the sex organs can function pleasurably and wholesomely for the parties concerned. and here, as elsewhere, the reply can only be that it all depends on the individual. but this is true, that, as a rule, the status of the individual during the years of active life will persist, even to old age, if the sex-functions are used and not abused. there is no function of the body, however, which will "go to pieces" quicker, and ever after be a wreck, as will the sex organs, if they are not treated rightly. and this works both ways: if too rigorously held in check, _if denied all functioning whatever, the parts will atrophy, to the detriment of the whole nature, physical, mental, and spiritual_. the body will become "dried up," the sex organs shriveled, and a corresponding shrinking of the whole man or woman, in all parts of the being, is very apt to follow. on the other hand, an excess of sex-functioning will soon deprive the individual of all such power whatsoever. a man will, in his comparatively early life, lose the power of erection, or tumescence entirely, as a result of excess, either by masturbation or from too frequent coitus; and on the part of the woman, many unfortunate conditions are liable to arise. however, for reasons that have already been stated, a woman who is strongly sexed, and of a pronounced amorous nature, can maintain even great excess of sex exercise without suffering such ill results as would befall a man who should so indulge. that is, an excessively passionate wife can far sooner wear the life out of a husband who is only moderately amorous, than can an abnormally passionate husband wear out a moderately amorous wife. but if the sex nature of the husband and wife are well cared for during the years of active life, neither too much restrained or too profusely exercised, the functioning power of the sex organs will remain, even to old age, with all their pleasure-giving powers and sensations intact. this is a wonderful physiological fact, which leads to a conclusion, as follows:-- this fact of the staying qualities of the power of sex functioning, even to old age, is the _supreme_ proof of the fact that sex, in the human family, _serves a purpose other than reproduction_! for, see! a woman loses the power to conceive when she reaches the "turn of life," when her menses cease, that is, when she is between forty and fifty years of age. and if pleasure in coition serves only to induce her to engage in the act for the purpose of increasing the probability of her becoming pregnant, if this is the _sole_ purpose of desire for sex intercourse, such desire, such pleasure, _ought to cease_ at that period of feminine life. _but this is by no means the case_! if a wife is a normal woman, sexually, and has neither abused her sex nature or had it abused, or neglected, and is a well woman, she will enjoy coitus as much after she has passed her three score and ten date in her life as she did before! she may not care to engage in the act as frequently as in her younger days; but if she is well courted by her old lover, all the joys of the former days are still hers, to as great a degree as ever. and what is true of her is true of her husband, if he is well preserved, as she is, has never abused himself or been abused. this is a reward of virtue, for old lovers, that pays a big premium on righteous sex-action in earlier years! more than all, _it is a proof, beyond all question, that the purpose of sex in humanity is something more than procreation, that there is such a thing as the art of love, and that it ought to be taught and well learned by every husband and wife, in their early married life_. x cleanliness it would hardly seem necessary to be said, and yet many experiences of husbands and wives prove that it needs to be said, that both parties should take great pains to keep their bodies, all parts of them, always sweet and clean. strange as it may seem, many wives are exceedingly careless in this respect! it is a matter of common report among men, that harlots take more pains to make and keep their bodies, and especially their genitals, clean and attractive, than many wives do! surely, this ought not to be so, and yet it often is. and that it is, is only one more unfortunate result that springs from the feeling of "oh, we are married now." the wife or the husband feels that there is no longer any need of wooing each other. all of which leads to woe, woe, woe! the wife should keep her whole body so sweet and clean that her husband can kiss her from top to toe, if he wants to--and the chances are that he will want to, if she so keeps herself! in the one case, such a caress is a bit of heaven to a husband, in the other it is a bit of hell! it will disgust where it ought to delight. and when a wife disgusts her husband, the end of a happy married life has come! the wife should always wash her vulva with soap and warm water before retiring, and if reservatus is to be engaged in in the morning, after urination, she should thoroughly cleanse the parts before union takes place. let her be _ever_ mindful to keep her "love cup" worthy to meet its lover. and the husband should be equally careful to keep his body sweet and clean. he should wash the glans penis thoroughly, with soap and water, at least once every day, drawing the foreskin back so as to fully cleanse the indenture above the gland, which secretes a substance that very soon emits an offensive odor unless removed. both parties should keep their arm pits so that they will not be "smelly," and the feet should likewise be kept inodorous. one of the chief objections to smoking or chewing tobacco is that it spoils the breath, and so makes it offensive to the wife, whereas it should be most attractive. in a word, both the husband and wife cannot be too careful, in all ways, in making and keeping their bodies mutually attractive. as has already been said, the sole aim of all the sexual experience of a husband and wife should be to raise the function more and more _away_ from the plane of _physical_ gratification and elevate it continually towards the realm of _mental_ and _spiritual delight_. this is a mission of sex in the human family that should be made the most of. it involves the cultivation of the art of love, which is truly the art of arts, par excellence. the secret of success in establishing righteous and happy sex relations between husband and wife is, on the part of the man, that _all his actions should be those of a loving gentleman_. this does not mean effeminacy on his part--he must be virile, bold, strong, aggressive, positive, _compelling_. and yet, all these manly virtues must be expressed in terms of _loving and gentle_ acts. this is a paradox, but it is true! on the part of the woman, the chief item on her side is, for her to attain a _correct mental and spiritual attitude toward her own sex-nature and that of her husband, and toward their common expression_. all her training and environment now hinder her from such achievement; but if she be a true woman, her nature will reveal the truth to her, and if she will trust to that--do what that prompts her to do, she will come out all right. it will take time to reach such results; but if she will persist, she will succeed. let her come to the realization of the fact that sex in men and women is _not_ unclean, vulgar, lowdown, sinful; but that it is _clean, pure, lofty_, god-born! rightly exercised, it leads to the highest well-being of both the husband and wife; it brings them to their physical, mental and spiritual noblest and best. let the wife get this view of the situation, which is the only true view, and then let her act accordingly, and she will have attained. a husband and wife who have reached this _modus vivendi_ have established a heaven on earth. editor's note dr. long's description of "free time" should be thoroughly understood by the readers of this book. since it is practically impossible to conduct exact scientific tests under strict control (the reason for which can be readily understood) there is much difference of opinion among physicians and sexologists on this subject. some say there is no such thing as "free time." others agree with dr. long that there is a period of "free time." still a third group take the conservative viewpoint that further proof is necessary. the publishers offer this explanation as a necessary comment. xi pregnancy and now just a few words about having children, and this treatise will end. as has already been said, every true husband and wife who are well enough and strong enough, and who are reasonably furnished with this world's goods, ought to have and rear at least two children. the world needs at least so many, even if all children lived and grew up, to keep up the constant number of people on the earth. but, far more than this, the husband and wife need children _to make a home complete, and a complete home is the supreme attainment of human life!_ this does not mean that people should not marry unless they can have children; there are many women who should never even try to become mothers. but these should not be deprived of all sexual joys for this reason. on the contrary, it is for their best good, in most cases, that they should marry and so live normal sex lives, in all respects except parenthood. but, for the most part, husbands and wives _can_ have children, if they so desire, _and they_ should _so desire_. and, so desiring, the question is, how can they best fulfil such desire? as a matter of fact, there is very little that is really known about the begetting of children, and the securing of the best results from such action. the laws of human heredity are, as yet, for the most part, unknown. but common sense would seem to indicate a few things that must be best in the premises. thus, it would seem to be for the best that the husband and wife should be in good physical condition when a child is begotten. more than this, it would seem right that the act of begetting should be a _deliberate_, and not a mere _chance_ begetting. hence, in general, it is well for the husband and wife to _agree_ upon a time for the begetting of a child, and _deliberately accomplish a sex-meeting for such purpose_. although, one instinctively feels that such a deliberate meeting might be too matter of fact--too cold and formal, lacking in warm blood and genuine emotion; still, the probabilities are that even this could be overcome, if kept in mind and "provided for." referring to the things that have already been said, of course an embrace which is to result in pregnancy should be one of the most perfect that can possibly be experienced, one in which, in an ecstasy of love's delight, husband and wife merge their souls and bodies into a perfect oneness--it would seem that from such a meeting the best, and only the best results could come. and so if the husband and wife will agree that from a given time on, they will cease to have a care to prevent conception; and then, sometime _immediately following the fifth day after the beginning of the menstrual flow_, they will naturally meet in a _perfect embrace_, the probabilities are that they will have done the best possible to secure the highest attainable results from the act of begetting a child. as a rule, the proper time for such begetting is between the _fifth_ and the _tenth_ day after the beginning of the menstrual flow. it is sometimes best, however, to make the meeting earlier than this, even before the flow has ceased. some women will conceive then who cannot do so at any other time. and so, if a wife should be unable to conceive between the fifth and the tenth day, as noted, let an earlier date be tried. if this should fail, consult a reliable physician. it ought to be said, too, that putting off having children _too long_, is very apt to result in the sterility of the wife. many a young wife, who has really wanted to have children _sometime_, and who would be greatly grieved if she thought she could _not_ bear a child, has kept putting it off, and has done this _so often_, and for _so long_, that, when the "convenient day" does come, she finds that she has "sinned away her day of grace." speaking generally, the first baby should be born not much later than two years after marriage. there are, of course, exceptions to this, but it is a good rule to go by. _have your children when you are young_! this is common sense, it comes out best in the long run, and is the best thing to do, ninety-nine times in a hundred. then, you are nearer the age of your children as they grow up than if you waited till you were in the late thirties before the children came. if your son or daughter is only twenty-some years younger than you are, you can be "kids" with them. if you are forty years old when they are born, you will always be "old folks" to them. have the babies when you are young. it is far better so. if no children come from the meeting of husband and wife consult a good doctor. but, in such event, if neither of the parties is to blame--or even otherwise, make the best of the situation, love each other, and make the most of wedded life with what is left. above all, with children or without (and a thousand times better with) make a home that is a home. that is what sex in the human family, what married life is for--to make a home. nearly all that makes a home is centered around sex. no two normal _men_ can make a home! no two normal _women_ can make a home! _it takes a man and a woman to make a home. it takes father, mother and children to make the most perfect home. make up your minds to have a most perfect home, and do your utmost to reach that goal_! the query often arises in the minds of conscientious husbands and wives whether or not it is right to engage in coitus during pregnancy. on this point authorities differ, though most of them hold against such practice. the reasons they give for such adverse decision are all based on the same old infernal lie, namely, that, sexually, man is a mere animal, and so is subject to the laws and practices of mere animality. this is the worst outrage ever perfected by a false philosophy, which is heralded as the will of god. out on it, altogether! the simple truth, is that, if the husband and wife have _mastered the art of love_, so that they _mutually desire each other, and both long for sex exercise during the gestation period_, it is _perfectly right_ and wise for them to satisfy their _natural_ common wishes. of course, in such exercise, the utmost care should be taken not to press too hard upon the pelvic region of the woman, and in this regard, the word of caution needs to be heeded, as much by the prospective mother as by her mate. for, in the intensity of an orgasm, she may be tempted to crowd her body too violently against her husband, and so possible harm might result. especially if the husband-superior position is taken during the act, he should be doubly careful not to permit the weight of his body to rest upon the enlarged part of the wife's anatomy, not in the least. indeed, the safest position for coitus, during pregnancy is, the woman on her back, and the man with his hips on the bed below hers, so that there is no possibility of pressure on her abdomen, which is perfectly free, in this position. in this position, the act may be engaged in, during pregnancy, as often as mutually desired, to the benefit of both parties. many pregnant women are more than usually passionate during the period of gestation. this is especially the case when the wife is happy in her condition, when she rejoices with exceeding great joy that she is on the way to experience the divine crown of wifehood--maternity! when such a woman desires her husband in love's embrace, it is cruel to deprive her of her longed-for delight. again, a wife, unpregnant, and when she rightfully wishes to remain so, may be somewhat fearful of becoming pregnant when she meets her husband, and so hesitate to give her passion full play, thereby missing the utmost delights of an embrace--but if she be pregnant, and so has no fear on this score, she can give herself up to utter abandonment to her impulses. on this point, the final word is, use _common sense_, in a _spirit of absolute_ mutuality. it goes without saying that it would be wicked, not to say a crime, for a husband to _compel_ his wife to engage in coitus during pregnancy, against her will. on the other hand, many a wife has first experienced an orgasm when meeting her husband during pregnancy. the reason for this is that her fear of becoming pregnant is not then present--a condition which has before kept her from the climax. it is further true that many a wife will greatly relieve and delight her husband if, on occasion, and as both may desire, she will relieve him with her hand; or sometimes, that they engage in mutual relief by this means during pregnancy. xii conclusion in closing this volume, the author wishes to say, as in opening, that no apology is offered for what has been written or said herewith. all has been set down in love, by a lover, for the sake of lovers yet to be, _in the hope of helping them on towards a divine consummation_. as a final direction _master the art of love_, which is _the divinest art in all the world; then study, and do your best to master the science of procreation_. it is these two, the art of love and the science of procreation, that, together, make married life a success. without these, or, surely, without the first, there can be no such thing as true marriage. hence, this is the _first_ to learn, to master. it is worthy of the most careful study, the most faithful experiment. it is right for people who never can have children to marry, and to share with each other mutual sex delights. it is far better for a husband and wife, having learned the art of love, to have children--and a home. thrice happy are the married lovers who live in the spirit of this sentiment, exalted to the highest spiritual plane; and if, out of such love exchanges children are begotten and born, and a perfect home is established, then married life is worth living. god has joined such together and nothing can put them asunder. * * * * * this volume is not something to be read once, and then put aside and forgotten. it should be studied, experimented upon, read again and again, especially by those who have difficulties in married life to overcome. and for _all_ young married people, it should be a sort of guide to happiness that should be frequently consulted and its directions "tried out" and followed to the limit. the fact is that, in true marriage, neither the husband nor the wife can be selfishly supreme. if selfishness asserts itself, on the part of either husband or wife, hell is sure to follow. there can be no true marriage under such circumstances, because there is no supremacy in true love, and it is only true love that can make an abiding true marriage. in true marriage, such as both god and nature design should be, there is perfect comradery, equals walking with equals, with the principle of love and mutual helpfulness shared alike by both. let no reader of this book forget these primal facts, or fail to act in accordance with them! for of such is the kingdom of heaven! [advertisement] #woman: her sex and love life# by dr. william j. robinson pages cloth $ . no matter what books you have read on sex information, no matter what question is agitating your mind, the information given in this wonderful book will solve your problem. dr. robinson not only gives a full treatise on the delicate formation of woman's wonderful body, but he also explains the changes which follow the intimate experiences of her sexual life. men as well as women must know what these changes are. no one, married or single, can afford to be ignorant of the knowledge contained in this wonderful book. one woman writes: "woman: her sex and love life has been a life saver to me. it has prevented a serious error that would have been a blot upon my life." a few of the chapters reasons why a misstep in a girl is more serious than in a boy sex knowledge of paramount importance to girls and women the wife's attitude toward the marital relations the female sex organs the sex instinct how to keep a husband's love who may and may not marry advice to girls approaching womanhood illegitimate motherhood advice to parents of unfortunate girls what is love? late marriages and chastity in men harmful advice to young women birth control regarding flirtation what a girl has a right to demand of her future husband advice to the married or those about to be importance of first few weeks of married life infatuation mistaken for love woman as man's chattel advice to the wife of the flirtatious man the place love occupies in woman's life abortion and miscarriage three venereal diseases measures for prevention after sexual relations marital relations and frigid woman the girl who lost her virginity treatment of sterility justifiable innocent deception order your copy of this important and valuable book at once. you will never regret it. certain single chapters are alone worth the price asked for the entire book. 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"sexual truths" comes as an answer to the repeated requests from sane, sensible people for the honest, straightforward information about sex which they cannot find elsewhere. in this book the full light of scientific reason penetrates every corner of the sex question. the physical misery and the mental torture caused by false teachings are banished. get a copy of this fascinating and daring book. learn what the greatest sexologists have to say about this great question of life. read the apt and brilliant comments of dr. robinson. one of the most valuable chapters of this remarkable book is that which contains a reprint of a famous letter by benjamin franklin, known as "advice to a young man on choosing a mistress." few people are aware that this letter exists. the united states government is said to have paid $ , for the original. this secret franklin letter, in the estimation of many people, is alone worth the price of the entire book. #partial table of contents# misalliances and unhappy marriages: an important but never referred to cause sexual abstinence and nervousness coitus interruptus as cause of nervous disease sexual hypochondria and morbid scrupulousness double standard of morality continence in the two sexes is it really impossible to make prostitution harmless? a problem in sexual ethics eugenics, sexual sin, ignorance, and superstition is platonic love normal? female sex instinct in relation to morality regulation of offspring and sexual morality coitus and nightmares distinctions between male and female sex instinct death during sexual intercourse false accusation of rape strikes against marriage in ancient times remarkable experiment in venereal prophylaxis effects of masturbation; a genuine human document a remarkable letter by benjamin franklin [advertisement] #love# _a treatise on the science of sex attraction_ by bernard s. talmey, m.d. pages illustrations cloth _formerly $ . _--now only $ . because of the thoroughness and completeness of its contents and the minute details discussed in each chapter, the sale of this volume was formerly restricted to physicians. now, however, this unusually valuable book has been made available to the general public; to those thoughtful men and women who desire to know the real truths and the intimate details about sex and love. partial table of contents love and civilization sex worship male internal sex organs female internal sex organs male external genitals female external genitals function of testicles, spermatogenesis, function of seminal vesicles, prostate, urethral glands, semen, erection, ejaculation, nervous control, organism function of ovaries, ovum, menstruation, uterus, female ejaculation, function of vagina, of clitoris, course of the sexual act quality of pleasure, symptoms of pleasure, orgasm, symptoms of after-lust, intensity of libido, duration of copulation love and passion, development of individual love, characteristic of the ideal woman's love emotions of eros and libido in men and in women, difference in the two sexes, emotion of jealousy, woman's former love-affairs sexual desires in the old, in infants, causes of early masturbation impotence in male, satyriasis, nymphomania, continence and impotence, excesses in copulation, practice of withdrawal, four types of impotencies in males, female impotence, frigidity, sterility engagement rules, wedding day, positions of conjugation, sequels of great frequency, pain of defloration, conjugation during menstruation, conjugation during pregnancy, preparation of the woman's muliebra in partial frigidity, offspring and sexual life, sterile time for conjugation history of marriage, promiscuity, consanguineous family, female chastity, adultery, female morality and reason prostitution, clandestine vice, injury of abstinence, ethics of evolution this volume has never been sold at any time for less than $ . . but, in order to insure its widespread introduction, we offer it at a special reduced price of only $ . .