Visions, or Hels kingdome, and the worlds follies and abuses, strangely displaied by R.C. of the Inner Temple Gent. Being the first fruits of a reformed life Sueños. English Quevedo, Francisco de, 1580-1645. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A10279 of text S101544 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 20561). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 166 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 113 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2017 A10279 STC 20561 ESTC S101544 99837353 99837353 1672 This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A10279) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 1672) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1002:4) Visions, or Hels kingdome, and the worlds follies and abuses, strangely displaied by R.C. of the Inner Temple Gent. Being the first fruits of a reformed life Sueños. English Quevedo, Francisco de, 1580-1645. Croshawe, Richard. [12], 187 [i.e. 209], [1] p. Printed by E.G[riffin] for Simon Burton at his shop next the Mitre Taverne, within Algate, London : 1640. A translation, by Richard Croshawe, of: Quevedo, Francisco de. Suenõs. Printer's name from STC. Page 209 is misnumbered 187. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Satire, Spanish -- Early works to 1800. A10279 S101544 (STC 20561). civilwar no Visions, or Hels kingdome, and the worlds follies and abuses, strangely displaied by R.C. of the Inner Temple Gent. Being the first fruits o Quevedo, Francisco de 1640 30464 45 0 0 0 0 0 15 C The rate of 15 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2006-08 TCP Assigned for keying and markup 2006-09 Aptara Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2008-03 John Pas Sampled and proofread 2008-03 John Pas Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-09 pfs Batch review (QC) and XML conversion VISIONS , OR , HELS KINGDOME , And the Worlds Follies and Abuses , Strangely displaied by R. C. of the Inner Temple Gent. Being the first fruits of a reformed life . Longè vadit , qui nunquam redit . LONDON , Printed by E. G. for Simon Burton at his Shop next the Mitre Taverne , within Algate , 1640. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFULL Sr. Thomas Metham , OF Metham in the County of Yorke Knight . Richard Croshawe dedicates these his first Fruits , as the reall intentions of a reformed life . To the Students Of the Innes of Court . GEentlemen , Matter is better than words . If you bee noble , worthy , and ingenuous , these many precipitations I here discover , need no other effect than honest pity : but if these endowments of the minde bee excluded , either by the rashnesse of Youth ( an ill Tutour ) ; or by violent prodigality and licentiousnesse , ( a worse Disciple ) ; My desire is , that my serious lightnesse , may arrow-like pierce your Consciences , to an unfained repentance . The more you are contristate , the lesse will be your sorrow ; for to lament , is here to rejoyce : and such joy I wish may be accumulated on you , and on all those , that either love goodnesse , or are estranged from it . The reason why I present this Booke in chiefe to you ( after the interessed Dedication ) is , because being my selfe , of one of your Societies , my observation and experiment hath made mee conjecture , that these two should never bee unwelcome , Advice and Delight . The first whereof , if my Booke doe not instruct , yet mine owne deviation ( still knowne to many ) may , seeing there is no stability in bubbling pleasure , nor no true content without a religious returne ; so you have both precept and example . And as for the latter , it is better wisht than described . Reade and judge . The Honourer of your vertues , Richard Croshaw . To the Reader . REader , I am no Libeller , what is here written , is written for thy instruction , and not to detract from any mans worth . For I ingenuously protest , there is not any one in particular living , that I intend either by this or that : what I have done was for mine owne recreation , and had not beene now published , but by entreaty . Excuse therefore the errours in it , since they proceed from him that is full of errour ; and if thou meanest to live contentedly , learne to live well ; so shalt thou finde , that Hell is here onely described , that thou maist avoid it ; and the way set downe of the Damned , to shew thee the path of Paradise . Richard Croshawe . The severall Visions . 1. The Possessed Sergeant . 2. Death and her Dominion . 3. The last Iudgement . 4. The Foole Amorous . 5. The World in its Interior . 6. Hell . Errata . pag. lin. errour correct . 2 7 fomer former 16 2 shirts skirts 21 8 parching patching 47 17 entred suted 102 6   not VISIONS . The first Vision : OR , The Possessed Sergeant . VArious and inconstant is the life of Man : sometimes lifted up with the height of prosperity , where hee not onely sees , but enjoyes all the pleasures of the world . And by and by cast downe into the gulph of misery , where hee findes such bitter fruits in the punishment of his ill governed wayes , that there remaines not so much as a taste or relish of his fomer felicity . Thus hath God weighed out these two conditions , that none should presume there is any reall happinesse but in him onely , nor any obscure adversity , but by repentance may bring us unto him . Such Meditations as these , was I mastered by , in a remote and farre Countrey : when I could not choose but fall into a serious contemplation of mine owne vanity ; heartily desiring , that I might finde out some way , whereby I might lessen those calamities , which by custome were almost growne hereditary . Night grew on , and sleepe seeing mee utterly destitute , became herselfe a Friend ; and in slumber made mee conceive I was an Actor in this Vision . Methought . Curiosity that stirres up all men to things rare and new , invited mee one Morning to behold the severall imbellishments of a famous Monastery ; whither I was no sooner come , but I found the doore shut , and beganne in my selfe to censure the peoples devotion , who to that houre of day had neglected pious duties . Yet least opinion might deceive me , I enquired of one that stood at the Porch , what the reason might bee , of that unaccustomed privacy ? who telling me that the religious men had excluded all others , that they themselves might better endeavour to expell the spirit out of one possessed , encreased my desire to gaine admission : which I had no sooner ruminated on , but I espied one of the same Covent , with whom I had formerly gained some acquaintance , and to whom with some earnestnesse I manifested the obligements I should owe him , if hee would admit mee a sight so unfrequent . As Curtesie generally exceeds in all of that Brotherhood , so in him it found a seat of eminency , who staying not to dispute , or by feigned complements to declare the difficulty , made signes with a pleasing gesture , that I should follow him ; and with a Key , which hee tooke from his Girdle , opening a private Doore , granted my request before hee promised it . But when I was got in , I could not tell whether with more safety , I should postulate a dismission backe , or resolve to stay , so full of horrour was the Object . In the Chancell on the floore lay a man of a most hideous aspect , his apparell torne , hands bound , eyes staring , mouth extended , and feet chained to the Raile about the Altar : sometimes starting up , and againe voluntarily flinging himselfe to the ground , yelling , shriking , and howling , as if the universall doom of punishment for sinne had been laid on him onely . This and the feare I was strucken in , made mee partaker of his unexpressible torture , and to cry out , O Lord ! what is this ? The Exorcist a holy Father , that was diligent about him , made answer , It was a man possest with an evill spirit , and had hardly spoke , but the Tormentour tooke the word . The Conjurer , said hee , lyes ; this is not a Man possest by a Devill , but a Devill possest by a Man . Discoursers take heed what you speake , for in questions and answers , you rather bewray your ignorance , than knowledge . Understand that wee Devils are not ( as I am now ) in the Bodies of Sergeants , but by constraint , and against our wils ; and therefore if you will name mee as you ought , you must say that I am a Devill Sergeantiz'd , and not a Sergeant Diaboliz'd : which you may easily credit by this , because all men speed better with us than with them , since wee flie the Crosse , ( fixt on the top of the Mace , ) but they make use of it as an instrument whereby to doe mischiefe . And though I must confesse there is a great correspondency betweene their Offices and ours , in that they procure other mens hurt , as well as wee ; and as wee desire there may bee none but wicked and guilty men in the World , so doe they also : Yet theirs is with a most eager greedinesse , pricked forward through an hellish disposition , and an avaritious desire of gaine ; but ours onely for company sake . And in this also they are more to be blamed than we , because their evill turnes to the destruction of their owne sexe and kinde , which wee abhorre . For wee are Angels though deprived of Grace , and had never beene converted into Devils , had wee not stroven to bee equall with God . But Sergeants turne Sergeants to be the vilest of men , and greatly delight in the miserable confusion of others ; so that you all strive in vaine to present comfort to this Wretch , since there is no man so godly , that stayes not in his tallons if he once can catch him , and they and wee may well bee both of an Order , were it not that they are Devils cloathed and shod , but we naked and bare-footed , ( as you are , ) leading an hard life in Hell . Though we were all transported with wonder to heare these Diabolicall speeches , yet did they not at all hinder the Frier from continuing his Exorcismes ; who hoping to still the Spirit , cast holy Water on him : but that was rather a motive to further tattle . Thinke not , said hee , your blessing of Water can make it available , I tell you it rather hurts than benefits , there being nothing that Sergeants hate more than it . For men have so often revenged themselves in this kinde , in heat flinging them into Rivers , to coole their appetite : in cold , into Privy bathes , to warme their malice , that it is growne abominable to them : who cannot any way bee accounted good Christians , because both their Office and Name is derived from Moores and Barbarians , Nations that never made a Conscience of any thing . Wound not your selves by beleefe , ( said the religious man to the assembly ) the Devill was ever a lyar , and if wee suffer him , will raile and murmur against Justice her selfe ; because by correcting the world , and chastising vice , she snatches away many Soules from him , which otherwise would have been ensnared . Dotard ( said the inmate ) dispute not with me , for I know more than thou dost ; but if thou wilt doe mee a pleasure indeed , banish mee this Sergeants body : for I am a Devill of quality , and when I returne to Hell shall be soundly swaggerd at , for haunting so bad a Companion . Through the compassion I have of those bitter torments thou makest him suffer , by Gods grace , ( said the Divine ) I will doe it , and not for the foolish words thou speakest . Wherefore dost thou so much afflict him ? Can I doe lesse ? ( answered he ) when at this very instant , his spirit is contending with mine , who should be the greater Devill , he or I. The Fraternity regarded not his malicious answers , but I whose feare , beganne to bee lesse , and inquisitivenesse more , tooke great delight to heare him prattle . And turning to the reverend man , desired , that ( if possible so much licence might be given to a stranger ) he would partly hinder the poore mans endurement , and permit mee to demand some few questions of the intruder ; which it might bee would not onely benefit my selfe , but accrue to the good of some of mine owne Countrimen , if at any time I should make them familiar with the passages . This was no sooner spoke , and condiscended to , but the Spirit forcing the Body to looke upon mee , and laughing at me , began . We have Kindred and friends ( said hee ) both in Court and City ; when there are Poets , they doe us many good offices , by the Trade of Venery and Macquerellage . And though their wits can clothe their fancies in a higher straine than you doe , yet you all , tending ro the same center , and embracing the same science , are bound to give your attendance to maintaine the honour of those of your Profession , whom wee suffer in Hell . Are there any Poets in Hell , said I ? Yes many , ( replied hee , ) the way is so easie , and they doe so swarme , that wee must bee faine to enlarge their abode , and there is nothing in the world so delightfull as to see a Poet in the first year of his freshmanship there , who most commonly brings letters of favor , directed to our superior Magistrates , thinking to finde Charon , Cerberus , Rhadamant , Eacus , and Minos . But what paines doe they suffer ( said I , feeling my selfe galled ? ) Many ( replied hee ) and those such as are proper to the Trade . Some are tormented in hearing the workes of others rehearsed , ( the punishment also of Musitians ) which they envy , yet cannot mend . There are some of a thousand yeares continuance in Hell , and yet have not made an end of reading the stanza's they composed of incontinency . Others that rubbe the palmes of their hands , scratch their foreheads , beate their browes , and teare their haire , and yet cannot resolve whether is most proper , disaffected or unaffected , depainted or unpainted , because the word comes from painting . There are others , that seeking out a consonancy , as it were blindfolded , walke raving to and fro , biting their nailes and eating their band-strings , till they fall into holes and pits , from whence wee have a great deale of trouble to plucke them out . But those that endure most , and are worst entreated are Comicke Poets , justly punished for making a rape upon the honour of so many Queenes , Princesses , and great persons in England , by their unequall matches of them ; and in their Playes for displaying so many invectives against men of esteeme . With these of the land , water Poets are not planted , but because they have used so many inventions , fictions , and lyes , to coozen the World , and get money , are put among Proctours and Solicitours , as amongst people that live by that exercise : for you must understand , that as there is great conveniency , so there is very good order kept in Hell . The other day there came thronging to us of all sorts ; hee that first enterd , was a conceited fellow , a Drawer , one that by devising patternes for wastcoates , &c. got no small favour ; whom when we thought to quarter with Projectours , wee remember that hee said , besides his draught hee could counterfeit to the life , therefore hee was setled with Scriveners and Attournyes , as among them that can draw and counterfeit upon all occasions . Another called himselfe a Cutter ; he was asked whether of Stone or Marble ? but saying hee was of their kinde who cut off mens purses , and at Masques Ladies shirts , wee put him with detractours and evill speakers , as amongst those that rend the garments of anothers good fame . Blinde men that thought to shrowd themselves among Poets , were thrust among Lovers , because of the sympathy . And Vintners with Waterbearers , because of the mixture . Fooles were chamberd up with Astrologers and Alchymists . Murderers with Physitians . Ill dealing Tradesmen with Iudas . Evill Magistrates and Ministers with the bad Thiefe . Citizens with Shufflers . And Brokers with Jewes . And to conclude , there is not any Common-wealth so well ordered as Hell , where every one hath a retirement according to his quality . I thinke you spoke of Lovers , ( said I ) and because I am as well sensible of that infirmity as of Poetry , I would willingly know if there bee many ? Love being a great spot of Oyle which spreads all abroad , ( added hee ) thou needest not doubt but Hell is well throngd with the amorous . There are of divers sorts . Some that are Lovers of themselves , others of their money , others of their speeches , others of their workes , and some of their wives , and of that kinde there are very few , because women are of such malignant natures , that by their disloyalty , imperfections , and searching wits , they give every day new subject to their Husbands to repent of their conjunction and alliance with them . All Lovers are delightfull to see , and full of mirth , if there may bee said to bee any in Hell . Some you would take for a Millaners shop , they are so deckt with points , knots , and ribbens , of all sorts , which they call favours . Others for a periwigge makers stall , they are so hung with bracelets , amulets , and lockes of all haires and all colours . You would take some for Messengers to a great City , laden with packets and Epistles to and from their Mistresses ; which they call Love-letters , but we Inflamers , because they serve to inflame and burne the bearers . And others for Jesters , the posture of their wooing is so ridiculous , who once loved , but never obtained . These are condemned for short shooting , yet wonne the game ; and those for kisses that never betrayed . Under them , in a dirty and stifling hole , carpeted with beasts hornes , were those that you call Cuckolds ; Creatures that at the first beganne to bustle with us , objecting a double injury , if they should now againe bee punisht , that in the world had already received disgrace sufficient : the Horne grafted upon their forehead , being first taken from the Devils owne brow , who in the shape of a man made the first Cuckold . But when wee told them that the Divell never wore Hornes , but that they were derived from the Goat and Ramme , emblems of mans libidinousnesse , and the name of Cuckold from the Cuckoe , a bird that having plundered the issue of an innocent , maketh her hatch her viperous brood , or else from mens owne indulgence and womens impudence ; they became the most peaceable of all our pensionaries , and are armed with incomparable patience : for having beene heeretofore strengthened and fortified in the unfaithfull dealings of their wicked wives , they are never angry at any thing that is done unto them . In which respect , and our owne pity , wee have advanced them into one of our fairest upper lodgings : and in their Dungeon have placed such as are lovers of age and old women , who are strongly chained ; for Divels themselves doe not hold their honour safe , amongst people whose taste is so depraved . But having satisfied your curiosity , I must tell you that wee Divels are much offended , in that you mortals so slovenly besmeare and disfigure us . Sometimes painting us with clawes and tallons , yet are wee neither . Eagles nor Griffins . Then gluing tailes to our posteriours , as if wee needed flie-flappes , or the world should mistake us for Hernes . And then parching on our chinnes , wenny , and welky beards , to metamorphose us into Turky-cocks and Cocks combs ; yet there bee Divels amongst us that may well bee taken for Scholars and Philosophers . But you had best mend this , if you covet a good fire when you come to visit us . Wee asked the other day that Painter whom you call Michael Angelo ( though improperly ) why he presented us in his judgement with so many beasts hooves , deformed bodies , wry neckes , and crabbed faces ? His answer was , That having never seene any of our Tribe , and not crediting there were any , he had made that piece after his owne fancy , and not out of any ends of malice . But ignorance did not excuse his sinne , for hee now findes the reality of that , hee would not before beleeve . We complaine also , that in your familiar discourse one with another , you give us unnecessary presents . Behold ( sayes one ) how this Divell Tailor hath abused mee , How hee makes mee wait , How he hath stolne from me ; Would hee were in Hell ! You doe us a great deale of wrong to wish them there , or to make such comparisons ; For wee never suffer them to come nigh us but with a great deale of intreaty : because they doe already alleage the name of inheritance , in that Custome is a second Law . And having taken possession of Theft , oftner keeping Stuffes demanded of them , than Sabbaths commanded ; they enter grumbling and muttering when we doe not open the backedoore , and thereby acknowledge them legitimate Children . The Divell take it and thee , sayes another to him and those things that displease him ; keepe your gifts at home , for of this kinde there come more than wee fetch , neither doe wee take all that are given ; for wee make a conscience of some things : and would not accept of the forward Letcher when he sayes , I would I might be damned to lie with such a Beauty , but that hee does enforce us . You bestow likewise on the Divell every roguish Page and Foot-boy ; but hee will have none of them , for know ( that for the most part ) they are more wicked than Divels themselves . Also you give to the Divell an Italian , but the Devill thankes you with all his heart , yet loves not to bee undermined . An Englishman , but hee will have none of their new fashions . A Spaniard , but hee that knowes the tyranny they use in making themselves masters of Townes , when once they are permitted entrance ; detests their cruelty . And a Frenchman , but the Divels stomacke will not serve him , because they are already parboyld ; and therefore intreats you to send them to the Great T●rk● to season , and make Eunuchs . Here the Spirit became silent ; when hearing a noise behinde mee , made by one who had crept in , and was thrusting to get foremost , I turned about to see who durst bee so uncivill in a place so sacred . And perceived it to bee a certaine Informer , that had been the cause of the undoing of one of my deare associates . Therefore that I might a little vindicate my Friend , I againe questioned the possessour . Seeing so many men of divers conditions inhabit your clime , Are there none there of those Horse-leeches , those plagues to Kingdomes , Projectours , & c ? You are cunning , ( said hee ) Know you not that these Vermin are the naturall heires to damnation , and have their patrimony assigned in perpetuall darkenesse ; yet know also that wee are upon the point to discard them , for they are growne unthankfull , beginne to scuffle with us ▪ and would willingly lay a Tribute upon the wayes to Hell , but because the charge encreases dayly , and wee beleeve that in processe of time the taxe will mount so high , that our Agents on Earth will be constrained to forsake their Commerce , ( a thing very prejudiciall to our Common-wealth ) wee will from henceforth shut our Gates and utterly exclude them . In doing so you may be injurious , ( said I ) for then they will aime at Heaven . Never feare that , ( proceeded hee ) for that is a traffique they never delighted in . But , I pray you , on whom will they raise these new impositions ? If you labour to know all the circumstances , ( answered hee ) bid that fellow draw nigh that stands there ( pointing to my Gentleman ) for hee is of the occupation . At this the Company presently cast their eyes upon him , whereat hee was so ashamed , that turning his backe , and plucking his hat over his eyes , hee slunke away , leaving the by-standers astonished , and me revenged . And when the tumult was appeased , the Divell continuing said , Is my Champion absent ? I care not greatly , if I supply his place . Understand then , that the Monopolies they would now finde out , and the Imposts they would impose and set forward are upon jewels , rings , plate , and precious stones , upon lace , handkerchers , dressings , gorgets , and the nice attire of women , upon coaches that serve for no other purpose but to hurry men to Tavernes , Theaters , and the assignations of love . Upon excesse of apparell , feasts , and stately moveables . Upon Play-houses , the schooles of blasphemy and obscenesse . And generally upon all other things whatsoever , that serve to enhance the pride of the world , and encrease our Empire ; which will become utterly desolate , unlesse some good Magistrate , and our Friend , oppose himselfe against them . Not so , ( I persisted by way of interruption ) In this mee thinkes they are very reasonable , seeing that the toleration of such things serve onely to pervert good manners , corrupt chastity , stirre up riot and prodigality , and utterly ruinate modesty and vertue . But concerning Magistrates of whom thou beginnest to speake , Can it bee possible that there are any Judges in Hell ? A fine question ( replied the Divell ) Friend , a wicked Judge is the seed that fructifies most for us : 't is a Graine from which we every yeare receive a thousand Doctours , ten thousand Proctours . Advocates , and Lawyers ; and more than twenty thousand Marshals and Pettifoggers ; so that many times when the yeares are fruitfull in cheating and deceit , wee have not Garners enough to containe the fruit that comes unto us by the meanes of corrupt Judges . Wilt thou then inferre that there is no Justice upon Earth ? Yes , ( said hee ) if the story of Astrea bee true , didst thou ever heare it ? No , Hearken then , ( said the Fiend ) and I will tell it . Truth and Justice on a time came together to inhabite the Earth , but found none to entertaine them ; because one ( which was Truth ) was naked , and the other severe . In the end after they had wandered up and downe , like vagabonds without shelter , Truth was enforced to dwell with one that was dumbe , and Justice seeing her selfe unregarded , and that her name was usurped by Tyrants , resolved to returne : yet that shee might leave no way unessayed , shee retired from Courts , Palaces , and Cities , and travelled into the Countrey , where in Cottages and Villages shee rested a while under the simplicity and integrity of the poore inhabitants ; from whence Envy ( that never left to persecute her ) remov'd her also . Then went she to Gentlemens houses ; but being never bred up to lie , when they demanded who shee was , answering , I am Iustice ; they drove her from them too , saying , we know not what that is . So that being generally refused , shee fled or rather flew up to Heaven , scarce leaving behind so much as the trace of her footsteps . Since when , men remembring her name , attribute that kind of Scepter or Mace unto her , which hath a crosse at the top ; which although it have got the title , yet sometimes burnes the Basis , because that many times through the abuse of it , it helpeth better to steale , than the hookes , false keyes , and ladders of Theeves . For humane covetousnesse is growne to that height , that all have converted the faculties of their mindes and senses , into instruments to commit theft . The Lover , doth hee not steale a Virgins honour , with her owne consent ? The Lawyer , doth he not steale his Clients goods , with his knowledge , when hee perverts the sense of the Law ? The Comedian , doth he not steal his Spectators heart , when hearkning unto the Verses hee hath conn'd , hee looses time . The Amorous , doth hee not steale with his eyes ? The Eloquent with his tongue ? The powerfull with his armes ? The valiant , with his hands ? The Musician , with his voyce and fingers ? The Dancer , with his feet ? The Physician , with death ? The Apothecary , with health and sickenesse ? The Chirurgion , with blood ? The Astrologer with Heaven ? and there is no man but steales one way or other , but most of all the Sergeant ; who contrary to all these , steales away both his Soule and body by wilfull relinquishment ; for hee forsakes them with his eyes , flies from them with his feet , and disavowes them with his tongue . And they are most of them so wicked , that wee say of them , as you of the Pestilence , Good Lord deliver us . I wonder ( said I to the Intruder ) that thou hast not reckoned Women among Theeves , knowing they are of the same mystery ? Alas ! Speake not of Women , let them alone , I pray you , ( said hee ) for wee are so pestered , weary , and troubled with them , that wee desire not their remembrance , but to speake truth , if there were not so many in Hell , that would bee none of the worst habitation , especially for Winter . Oh , how much they would give to bee Widowes ! Since the death of that Witch M●dusa , they doe nothing but invent snares , labyrinths , ambuscadoes , and I doubt not but in time will wage warre with us for supremacy of knowledge . All the good that is in them , is , that in our conversations they aske no toyes and new fangles ( as they doe of you ) for they know wee deale not in small wares . Of what sort have you most , of beautifull or deformed ? Wee have tenne times more of fowle , ( said hee ) For though the faire meet easily with Gallants that satisfie their burning desires , yet it sometimes happens , that by continuance of sin they become sated and repent : but the fowle wanting this libidinous felicity , ( unlesse they can purchase it ) and maligning others , enter so lanke and dried up , that they affright us : for the most part of them are all old , and die grunting like Sowes , mad that the young ones survive them . I became packehorse the other day to one of threescore and ten , that I tooke doing a certaine exercise against obstructions , whom when I had unloden , shee beganne to complaine of the toothach , to infuse conjecture there were some yet left , that shee might appeare lesse odious . All my demands are untwisted , but this ; I pray you tell mee if there bee any poore in Hell ? What doe you meane by poore said the Devill ? I call him poore that possesseth nothing . How understandest thou that , said he ? How ? Wouldst thou have him condemned that holds nothing of the World , when none are damned but such as covet and enjoy it ? Those men that thou speakest of , are not enrolled in our bookes . And wonder not at it , for all things are wanting to them , yea the Divels themselves . You are rather Divels one towards another , than Divels are Divels to you . For can there bee a more notorious Divell than a Flatterer ? an envious man ? a false friend ? a bad Companion ? an unmercifull Creditour ? or a sonne , brother , or kinsman , that wishes you dead to get your wealth ? that seemes to weepe and bemoane you when you are sicke , and yet cares not if the Divell had you ? All this is wanting to the poore man , hee is not flatterd , envied , hath no friend , no companion , nor no credit , neither are his children , brethren , or alliance de irous of his dissolution , for any obscure ends , but hee is one that lives well , and dies better . And there are some so contented with this manner of life , that they will not change their condition with Kings ; because they have liberty to goe every where , whither they will , in peace and warre , free from all charges , impositions , and publike services , exempt from all judgements , civill censures , processe of Law , and jurisdiction , and in their Consciences are wholly uncorrupted . Moreover , they take no care for the morrow , observing in that the commandement of God . They husband their time well , and can justly value the dayes of their pilgrimage , in setting before their eyes that death holds in his power all that is past , governes all that is present , and pretends a right to all that is to come . But there is a proverbe , that When the Devill preaches , the World drawes to an end . Wee may truly say that Gods hand is in this , said the religious Conjurer . Thou art the Father of lyes , yet declarest truths , able to mollifie an heart of stone . You men , said the Devill , doe not imagine that this that I have spoken is for your salvation , deceive not your selves , 't is that your paines may be encreased , when the time com● that you shal suffer : and that you may not pretend ignorance , and excuse , saying , No body hath told us . You are all Hypocrites . The greatest part of teares you shed , proceed onely out of griefe to forsake the world , and not out of any repentance for your sinnes . And though sin be sometimes displeasing to you , because of your declining into yeares , or of your corporall indispositions , yet your will hath much a doe to bee overcome , because it is wicked . Thou art an Impostour , said the reverend man . There are at this day many holy Soules , whose teares have issue from another fountaine ; but I see thou seekest to delude us , and it may be it is not the will of God , that thou shouldest bee expelled this miserable body ; neverthelesse I conjure thee by his Almighty Power , not to torment him any more , but to depart . The Spirit obeyed , and the devout man addressing his speech to us , Gentlemen ( said he ) although it was the Devill that spoke by the organs of this unhappy man , yet there is some pro it in this discourse to be made by him , that will meditate upon it . Therefore I pray you not to regard from whence these things proceed , but to remember that wee often receive health from the hands of our enemies , and from tho● that most hate us . With draw your selves in the Name of God , to whom I will pray , that this sad and prodigious spectacle may serve to amend your lives , and convert you unto him . And heere my Slumber left me . VISIONS . The second Vision : OR , Death and her Dominion . SAad thoughts are naturall to abject men , and gather together in multitudes to assault one unhappy . Certaine Enemies they are , uncertaine Friends , not much to be blamed , since they doe not derogate from the straine of the world , fickle , and unstable ; now rising , now declining , and set , before they attaine the Meridian . Cogitations of this mold made me lament mine owne depression , and turne over the leaves of some few bookes , that by no Rhetoricke could maintaine any more than one way to bee borne , but without study could finde a thousand wayes to die . Heere I found the ambition of the proud , and the covetousnesse of the rich , satisfied with so little , that I began to hate all indirect dealings , and minde the advice was given mee . Mortall ( said one ) Why dost thou afflict thy selfe , and labour for uncertaine riches ? Is not Death the end of all things ? which many times comes upon thee before they are obtained , or at best well disposed : embrace that , by dying well , and thou canst not wish for those blessings shall bee denied . Wherefore dost thou so much feare Death , ( said another ) ? What now remaines of the pleasures of thy passed life , and of thy first yeares , which were so sweet and delightfull ? Seest thou not that all is vanished , and lost in times swiftnesse ? Prepare thy selfe therefore , and take heart , put on alacrity of spirit , and settle thy Soule in peace and tranquillity . Remember ( saith the Scripture ) Man that is borne of a Woman is of short dayes , and full of trouble , hee commeth forth like a flower , and is cut downe , he fleeth also as a shadow , and continueth not . Dizzied with these Contemplations , I fell asleepe over my Instructours and doe verily beleeve , it was rather caused by some supernaturall predominancy , than naturall disposition ; because my faculties , were free and at liberty from outward molestations , and busied in beholding this following Comedy , to which my fancy serv'd as a Stage for unusuall Actours . I saw divers Physitians enter , riding on large foot-clothes , ominous in this , that they resembled Hearses for the dead . Their traine was broken and disordered , for some went a foot-pace , and others on the spurre . Their faces were contracted , got more by custome than age , in often frowning on their Patients urine , which prognosticated to the Sicke , more terrour than redresse . And these were followed by young Practitients , who by their frequent conversation with the Horses , more than with the Doctours became easily graduated . Apothecaries came next , armed with morters , pestles , and doses , whose out-side bore the ascribed cures , and inside poysons . Their Shops were the Physicians Storehouse , and the afflicteds Purgatory . Their Recipes began with receive , but included to take , an ounce for themselves , and a scruple for the dying man . And all their compositions were disguised with such strange nominations , as if they had beene Sorcery : cursed inquisitours against life , done in policy , that their mistake of one thing for another , might not bee discerned . Chirurgions with some unwillingnesse followed , because they conceited precedency ; the Etymology of their name signifying , a Physitian that worketh by hand . Their pockets were filled with pincers , cauters , files , sawes , knives ▪ and lancets ; and their cries of , cut , teare , dismember , burne , infused such feare , that my bones were consulting how they might serve as sheathes to hide one another . Then Mountebankes ( whose papers speake better than they ) who with more impudence and lesse skill , would cure all Diseases with one Antidote , upon which there was no great disspute . Nor of the Barbers Surgery , ( who came next ) because it either killes or heales . These were more finicall than their forerunners , yet at proudest are but shavers of Excrements . Their greatest Artillery were Cizzers , Razers , and basons , and some sharpe lotions , the which were allayed , by the delicious musicke of their Fiddles and Citternes . Seeing them followed by men wearing chaines crosse their breasts , and admiring what state they usherd ; I easily lost that conjecture , when I beheld the linkes to be teeth , and the bearers Tooth-drawers ; mouth-devasters , and drawers on of old age : not shaming to wish all mens teeth upon their thread , rather than in the place of their birth . After these came men of divers habits , not unfitly entred , because all great talkers . Some were called Swimmers , by reason that in speaking they spread their armes to and fro , as if they were swimming . Others imitatours , in that they counterfeited the lookes and gestures of those they spoke of . And others sowers of dissention , because they moved their eyes this way and that way ( not stirring the head ) to marke by stealth the actions of those they meant to betray . And last of all Dissemblers , a presumptuous Generation , the worlds true plague ; who thrust into all assemblies , and either by craft , flattery , or base submission , having got the secrets of men , convert them to the Relaters prejudice , and their owne mercenary profit . These were called the extract of all the importunate , and because the poyson of Serpents lies in the taile , came in the reere as most poysonous . Upon this , I beganne to consider , to what use , this great troope and confusion might tend : when behold a certaine Apparition drew neare , that seemed to bee of the Feminine kinde , of light gate and loose proportion . Shee was laden with crownes , garlands , scepters , sikles , sheephookes , buskins , wooden shooes , tires , miters , bonnets , embroidery , silke , skinnes , wooll ▪ gold , lead , diamonds , shels , pearle , and flint . One of her eyes was shut , and the other open . She was cloathed in all colours , on one side appearing young , and on the other old . Now going apace , and anon slowly , at one time seeming afarre off , and by and by at hand And at all times so inconstant , that I could not have leasure to fancy who shee might bee . Yet was I not frighted , but rather incited to laughter , remembring an Italian Comedy I had lately seene , in which Halequin faining to come from the other World , had a baggage not much dissonant ; and therefore , after I had stood a great while musing , I stept to her , and demanded who shee was ? I am Death , said shee . Death ! ( replied I , my heart failing mee ) and whither goe you Mistresse Death ? I come to fetch thee ( said she ) . Alas ! Must I then die ? No , but thou must goe alive with mee , and make a journey into the kingdome of the dead ; for since many departed have rose to see the living , it is no injustice that one living should descend to visit them , and that the dead bee heard . Hast thou not heard that I have power to execute my soveraigne decrees ? Disrobe and follow mee . Ha , sighed I , in a cold sweat , Will you not let me weare my Cloathes ? There is no need , ( said she ) apparel will but hinder you , besides I ease all men of their luggage , that they may walke with more agility . There was no contending , therefore I went after her ; but to tell you through what by-wayes shee led mee is impossible , for I was transported beyond apprehension . As wee were going , I doe not , ( said I ) for all this , see by any outward appearance that you are Death , because she is painted without flesh , consisting of nothing but dry bones . Those Image-makers are fooles , answered shee , and want invention ; for bones are not Death , but the remainder of the Living . You Mortals know her not , or else shee would appeare in the visages of every one of you , and in every severall member lie depicted . To die , is to finish life , and to bee borne , is to beginne to die ; and the truest Image of Death is a mans owne selfe , and not a breathlesse trunke or bare anatomy . But I pray you , Why doe you place Detractours , and Tell-tales , in the Van next to your owne person ? because ( said shee ) there are more that die by the importunity of great speakers , than by diseases , and more that are hastened to ruine by the conversation of flatterers and intermedlers , than by Physicians practice : though in the generall these are my greatest friends , and best servants , and to this purpose thou must understand , that most in the world grow sicke through excesse and superfluity of humours ; but die , by the meanes and diligence of him that administers . So that when you are asked of what Disease such an one is dead , you must not answer , Of a Feaver , Plurisie , Purple , or Pestilence , but he is dead by the hand of such a Physitian that hath beene well paid , for it is requisite that every Trade should live . As we grew thus familiar , wee entred into a Vault , where the dayes reflexe was betwixt light and obscurity . In the entry whereof , upon one side I saw three Statues armed and stirring , of humane shape , yet hard to bee distinguished , and on the other an hideous Monster , that continually fought with them , one against three , and three to one . Knowest thou , said Death , what these are ? Oh no! said I , and I trust in God I never shall . And yet so it is , said shee , that since thy Nativity thou hast never kept other Company . These are the three capitall Enemies to the Soule , the World , the Flesh , and the Divell : looke if they doe not resemble one another so neare , that they are scarcely discerned asunder ; so that if thou entertaine but one of them , thou maist bee assured thou hast them all three . An aspiring man , thinkes he hath all the World , and hath got the Divell ; a lascivious man beleeves hee hath the Flesh , but findes it the Divell ; and so doe the rest . But what is shee ( said I ) with so many severall faces , that fights against them ? Answer was made , The Divell Money ; who hath bred a controversie , upholding , that the rest have nothing to doe where she is , and that shee alone is all the three . First , shee grounds her dispute with the World , upon those Proverbes men ordinarily use , that There is no other World but Money , that Hee that hath no Money had better be out of the World , that We banish him the World from whom wee take Money , and that All things give place to Money . Against the second Enemy , she saith , Money is the Flesh , witnesse Whores and Curtezans . And against the third , she makes use of your speeches also , that Nothing can be done without that Divell Money , that Love doth much , but Money doth all , and that , That which Money cannot doe the Devill cannot effect . Whatsoever the claime is , said I , The Devill Money needs no coadjutours , seeing she defends her Cause so well . Wee went forward to a place where on one hand I perceived Hell , and on the other Judgement , and did heedfully consider Hell , because it was a thing very strange . What lookest thou on , said Death ? On Hell , said I , and methinkes by the aspect , I have seene it elsewhere . Where , ( said she ) ? I have seene it in the emulation of great ones , in the consciences of them that withhold ●nother mans goods , in wicked undertakings , in revenges , in the desires of the luxurious , and in the pride of corporations . But as for Justice , I am glad to see it in its purity , and had rather have Death with Judgement , than Life without it . At last wee descended into a spacious Cave , circled in on all sides with very high Rampiers , and filled with much people : and here Death bad mee stay , for this was the place of her Tribunall . The hangings that adorned the walles were words of Woe , alas , griefe , sighes , ill tidings , and lamentations , as certainely , beleeved , as unregarded . Here Womens teares were deceitfull to themselves , and unprevalent with others . There sorrow was excluded from comfort , and cares were only vigilant , being converted into Vermin to gnaw Kings and Princes , whose usurped honours made them to suspect all men . He ere Envy had put on a mourning habit , and kept a continued fast , it being not in her power to hurt . And there Ingratitude was kneading a kinde of Dough , mixt of Pride and Ambition , of which now shee framed Men , now Devils . All quivered with curses and imprecations , of which demanding the reason ? one that was by answered , O Destiny ! would you not have curses heere , where there are so many match-makers , Lawyers , and imprecatours ? Doe you not know that there is nothing more frequently spoken of in your Region , than Cursed be hee that married us , Cursed the houre I first beheld thee , and Ill h●p betide him that first brought us together . Cursed bee the Lawyer who counselled mee to follow this Cause that hath undone mee . And in other matters , Curst that I am , I would I might never come into Heaven , if I said this or that ; and The Devill take mee , if ever hee spake to mee of any such thing . But what is all this to the purpose , said I ? and what have these to doe with Deaths Judgement Hall ? Ignorant man ! said the other , If there were not so many contrivers of weddings , would there bee so many dead and desperate men ? Is there any thing destroyes so quickly , as the cavils and circumventions of entangling Lawyers ? And doth there any d● sooner , than hee that precipitates himselfe ? No certainly , therefore thou must conclude that these are the principall Pillars of this Dominion , and of the imperiall throne thou seest there . At this , I lift up mine eyes , and saw Death sit in a chaire , environed with many little Deaths , as The Death of Love , the Death of Hunger , the Death of Feare , and the Death of Laughter , each bearing a severall Ensigne and device The Death of Love had very little braines , and for Attendants had Pyramus and Thisbe , Hero and Leander , with divers other Lovers , ready to expire under her Sickle , but by the rare miracles of the interessed rose againe . About The Death of Hunger were many Usurers , who having accumulated great wealth , deprive themselves of necessary meanes ; letting their bodies famish and their soules die , which they had long before converted into Gold and Silver . The Death of Feare was richest , and most stately , hemm'd in with Tyrants and mighty men ; such as flie from all , thought none pursueth , and afford the world no good , but this , that by their sudden selfe destruction through feare , suspition , and distrust , they revenge themselves the innocent , whom they had before condemned and slaine . The Death of Laughter was the last , rounded with people of quicke apprehension , but late repentance , that live , as if there were no Justice to feare , and die , as if there were no mercy to bee hoped . And these are they , that when it is said , Restore what you have taken , answer , You make me die of Laughter . Consider that you are old , that sinne findes not any thing more to consume in you ; forsake this Woman that you unlawfully embrace . Regard how the Devill mockes you , who are now no more unto him but an improfitable booty . You make mee die of Laughter . Aske God forgivenesse , and turne unto him , for you have already one foot in the grave . You make mee die of Laughter , I was never more jocond , never more lusty . And these are they that being sicke , when they are exhorted to rely upon God , and order their estate by a religious will , answer , that they have beene many times in the same case : but finde themselves in the other World , before they can be perswaded they are going thither . Heere I could not containe my selfe , from this use , Lord ! thou hast given but one life and are there so many Deaths ? Grant , I beseech thee , that if I returne againe , I may change my condition , and beginne to live well , that I may die lamented . I had scarce uttered these words , but I heard the voyce crying , The Dead , the Dead , the Dead ; and instantly saw the Earth beginne to open , and the bodies of men and women , halfe buried in their winding-sheets , to arise ; who ranked themselves in order , observing a silent taciturnity . Take each his turne , said Death , when behold one of them came near me with such fury , that I began to feare the bastinado . Hellish worldlings , said he , What would you with mee ? Why let you mee not alone , dead , and at rest ? What have I done unto you ? I that without offending in part , am defamed in all , and made guilty of those things I am altogether ignorant of ? And what are you , said I , whom I neither know nor understand ? I am , said he , the unhappy Abraham Ninny , that have bin here many years , and yet you doe nothing but mocke and deride mee . When any folly or extravagancy is committed , Oh! 't is an Abraham , say you presently , Did you ever heare the like ? What a Ninny-hammer hee is growne ? Why , a very foole would not have done it ? But know , that in acting and speaking follies , you your selves are all Abrahams , worse than you suppose mee to have beene . And for proofe , Tell me , Have I made any ridiculous wils as you men , by which you command others to doe those things , which you would never doe your selves ? Have I rebelled against the potent , or hoped to renew my youth ? Have I strived to reforme Nature , and contested with her in colouring and poudering my haire ? Have I sworne untruths ? Am I faithlesse in those things which I have promised , as you are dayly ? Have I beene a slave to my money ? or played away my estate ? Have I consumed it in banquets ? or given it to Curtezans ? Did I suffer my selfe to bee masterd by my Wife ? or beleeve that I might rely on that man , who at my perswasion betraied his friend that trusted in him ? Did I marry my selfe to bee reveng'd of an inconstant Mistresse ? or credit that there might bee built any sure foundation on the slippery Wheele of Fortune ? Have I esteemed them happy that consume their dayes in Princes Courts , for the vanity of a momentary looke ? or taken delight in Hereticall Controversies , to bee accounted witty ? Have I boasted unto people that are below mee ? or beleeved in Witches and framers of Nativities ? If Abraham have done no such foppery , of what folly can you accuse him ? Poore Ninny ! rash and insolent that you are , wherefore doe you impute your disorders unto mee , that never learnt any thing but patience ; and was of so innocent and naturall a life , that it added an impossibility to wrong any man . As wee were thus discoursing , another that walked very gravely , came to mee , and with a commanding eye , said , Looke this way . What is your Ladiship , said I , you that speake so imperiously , and presume to bee respected , in a place where all are equall ? I am ( said she ) Queene Richard , whom if thou knowest not , yet thou hast often heard of ; for you that live are so devillish , that the dead cannot bee excepted from your malice . If you see an old wall , an old hat , a thread-bare cloake , ragged coate , or a woman that hath a treasury of years upon her , you say instantly , that they are as old as Queene Richard . But you are mad , my time was better than yours : and to justifie what I say , heare but your selves talke . Now if a Mother thinkes to instruct her Daughter in modesty , and say , Daughter , it is fitting that a Virgin that will conserve her honour , should alwayes keepe herselfe within the bounds of shamefastnesse , and looke downeward : her Daughter will arrogantly answer , Mother , that was a custome in Queene Richards time . 'T is for men to looke upon the Earth , as upon the matter from which they were formed ; and for women to looke upon men , as being extracted from them . If a Father say to his Sonne , Sonne , feare God , keepe his Commandements , pray unto him when you rise , and when you goe to bed ; eate not without blessing , and rise not without giving thankes ▪ play not , sweare not : hee will alleage the same author , Father , that was the fashion in Queene Richards dayes . So that , hee is derided that rules himselfe according to holy instructions , and men are sooner knowne by their oathes than beards . But leaving this , that you may understand the dead are not all so lockt up in eternall quiet , but that their desires have freedome of enquiry , Is there any newes stirring ? How stands the state of Europe ? The Spanish Fleets goe well enough , said I ▪ but of late yeares the Hollanders beginne to take rude tribute from them . And the Genoes have by way of bancke encroached so farre on his Principalities , that ( like Leeches ) they not onely stop the veines , but draw the mines dry . Sonne , said shee , as long as the King of Spaine shall have the Hollanders for Enemies , the way to the Indies will never be free . And as for the Genoes , they are likely to become a stately Senate , ( like their City ) If the Canker enter not their magazin of store , and immoderate lust , convert all in Bordello . But , how goes the credit of the world ? There is much to bee said thereupon , said I , you have touched a string that makes a noise indeed : every man hath his credit in himselfe , every one is esteemed , and every one doth all things in point of honour . There is credit in all estates , yet shee shifts places every day , and is by this time seven stages under ground . Those that steale , say it is to maintaine their credit , and that they had rather rob than begge . Those that begge , say it is to keepe their credit , and that they had rather begge than steale . Those that beare false witnesse and those that murder say the same thing . And all men call credit that which tends most to their profit , and ( presuming on their owne worth and estimation ) undervalew and defame the rest . All is now perverted . Lying is counted vertue , wiles and fetches are the chiefest qualities of a Cavalier , and insolency and impudency are the badges of gentility . Heretofore the Ilanders were men of credit , and kept themselves in a moderation of all things ; but now there are ill tongues abroad , that say , Savages may instruct them , and that their abstinence is more for covetousnesse than sobriety . Counsellours and Lawyers , How doe they thrive ? As nests of Ants , that from one breed a million . Justice that in ancient dayes went naked , as representing sincerity , is now so swadled with paper , as if she were a nest of Spices . And whereas heretofore we had but one booke of Lawes , there are now a thousand , the cause of so many squablings & divisions , being every ones private exposition . If you goe to some Lawyers , let your cause bee what it will , they will assure you good proceeding , and tell you , 't is a faire quaere , and wants nothing but study , but that at that instant they are something busie , about a case betweene Iohn Ash and Iohn Okes , so that they cannot minde it . Yet if you will call some other time , they will revise it better . And after you have well paid them , ( for money is the spirit of the worke , and the true light of their understanding ) you shall reap nothing but protraction , and may without difficulty instruct your selfe the event . Happy are we ( said the Queene ) that are free from such disturbances ! but I beleeve there are many good and honest men amongst them , that may bee Antipodes to those thou describest . Doth Venice stand yet ? How ? Stand ? Yes ( said I ) it stands with a vengeance : for that is a Common-wealth that maintaines it selfe , beyond all conscience . But if they should restore what they unjustly detaine from others , none need to suspect their povertie . I must needs say it is a pleasant State , a Citie founded in the Water , a Treasurie and Freedome in the Aire , and a Dukedome whom many dread . But 't is withall , the channell and sinke of Monarchies , by which they purge the filth of Peace and Warre . The Turke suffers them to molest Christians , and Christians permit them to injure the Turke , and they tolerate one another , to mischiefe both the one and the other ; so that by others dissention , they maintaine their owne vastnesse , which will swell them up , till their great ambition burst them . But methinkes thou speakest not of England , ( said the Interrogatresse ) Canst thou bee unmindfull of thine owne Soyle ? T is not for want of duty , replied I , but because it is too full of splendour for me to comment on without admiration . Pietie in the Prince , Justice in the Magistrate , Religion in the Minister , and Obedience in the Subject , having so absolute glory , that not onely her bordering Nations congratulate her Peace , but all the World stands gazing at her opulency , who is the sparkling Diamond in the universall Ring . I am glad ( answered Queene Richard ) that goodnesse and fidelity have so strong a Tower , and hope Justice will hereafter restraine those calumnies , are undeservedly throwne upon mee . This said , shee withdrew . The next that appeared was a gray-haird man , with a large beard hanging downe to his girdle ; whom I tooke to bee one of those wilde ones , that wee see in the kingdome of painting . And hee seeing mee stare , said , My art tels mee that you are desirous of my knowledge , it is Erra-pater that speakes to you , Is it possible ( said I ) that that Gallimaufry of Prophesies , which runne up and downe under your name , should be your worke ? Bold-face ! ( answered hee ) Darest thou so rashly offend the secrets of the gods , and the Fates interpreter ? Inhumane Worldlings ! who despise that learning that is above your reach : Finde you any Gallimaufries in my Predictions ? Can you bee so brutish , that you cannot understand the sense of these words ? On things to come revolving oft ; I finde that Earth , nor Water soft , Shall ought produce , or fructifie ; But what shall please Divinity . Animals ! benumm'd and hardened in vice . If this Prophesie should bee fulfilled , Could there be a greater good desired ? If that which pleases God , and that , that hee would have , were done ; Justice would rule the World , Innocency and Sanctity would dwell with us , and wee should no more obey the Devill , nor love those things which most please him ; as vaine delights , oppression , and money in its excellencie , but a vagabond of the nature of women that love to bee gadding . But to my presages . If Parties be arightly sped , The married shall be married . I could not abstaine from laughter , which hee seeing , Mastive ( said he ) that barkest at all , I find that thou hast not teeth hard enough , to breake the bone , & find out the marrow of this Prophesie : therefore listen , or I shall make you , since you were brought hither to that end . Thinke you that all that are wedded are married ? You deceive your selves by the just halfe ; know there bee many married that live as in single life , and many of a single life that live as if they were married . And there bee many men that marry and die Batchelours from their Wives , and many Women that die Virgins from their Husbands : because it is the fashion of the time . I doe protest ( said I ) that wee have done ill to wrong those enthusiasmes of spirit , by our mis-interpretation , but you must pardon it , because wee wanted you to unriddle them ; they being truer than wee tooke them for , and of more efficacy expounded by your mouth . Command therefore ( said hee ) that henceforth a more reverend esteeme bee made of my oraculous writings ; whereof I will unfold one more : Many Women shall become Mothers ; And the Children that they doe beare Shall be the Children of their Fathers . Can you except against this ? I tell you there are many married men , that if they either would or could make an exact search , would finde those Children to bee none of theirs , that call them Father . A Womans belly is very subject to caution ; and Children being got in obscurity , it is very hard to finde out the Labourers : we must beleeve the deposition of the Wife , and many times the supposition . How many people doe you thinke there will bee at the latter day , who hold now great rankes in the world , that will bee constrained to acknowledge for their Fathers , Pages of their housholds , followers , Physicians , Gentlemen Ushers , and may bee Coachmen that have beene well lasht fort ? How many Fathers will then finde themselves without Posterity , and true Successours beyond credulity . You shall see all this when you come thither , for in that place Truth will appeare more cleare than the Sunne . Having spoken , Erra Pater left me , with an answer hanging on my tongue , and vanished . When looking backe , I perceived a leane , pale , lanke , melancholy body , apparelled all in white . Take pitie upon mee , ( said hee ) and if thou art a Christian , bee charitable ; deliver mee from the injuries of impudent and ignorant men , who ever molest mee , and put mee where they please themselves . Here he cast himselfe at my feet , and tearing his haire , wept like a Childe . Unhappy Creature , said I , What art thou ? I am one , ancient and respected , ( said hee ) whose name and fame the world abuses , by many false allegations . My name is Alter , or Another . You must needs have heard of me , for there is nothing that Another speakes not . Those that cannot allege a reason themselves , say alwayes , as saith Another , & yet I never speak nor open my lips . The Latins call me Quidam , and make use of mee to fill up the lines and periods in bookes . I intreat you therefore to doe mee the favour when you goe backe , to relate that you have seene Alter , cloathed in white , who writes nothing , sayes nothing , nor hath ever done any thing ; and that all that cite and quote mee lie : to the end that henceforth by your mediation , I may no more bee the Ideots Authour , and the Fooles proofe . In brawles and quarrels they call me Some body , in difficulties , I know not well who , in the seats of Orators A certain Authour , and in Citizens houses No body , and all to disguise the name of poore Alter , and accuse him of their impertinencies , who is your suppliant for redresse . This I promised , and he departed , and gave place to Another . A man ( hee was ) of aspect good enough , if hee had not had a paire of hornes upon his head , and made signes as if hee would have beate mee ; at which being nothing daunted , Who brought hither ( said I ) this Signior Cornuto ? which words were hardly uttered , but behold us both together by the eares , till the dead parted us . I doe not disallow of the quality , said he , because there are greater men than my selfe that weare the horne , but yet methinkes the world might speake something of them , and not all of me . What have I done , that many others have not done a thousand times more ? The horne , hath it found its end in mee ? or have I rebelled against my superiours with it ? Have I enhaunc'd the price of lanthornes , inkehornes , or posthornes ? and is there not enough to make knifehandles , and shooing-hornes ? Wherefore then doe your scoundrell Poets afflict mee ? And of what doe you condemne mee , when there was never beast of my condition more peaceable ? They shall not leave thee yet , said I , but torment thee more , such a scope of matter I will deliver when I returne . But I will hinder thee , said hee , and thereupon wee fell againe to buffets . In this agitation of spirit I awaked , and found my selfe in a trembling sweat , as weary as if the combat had been reall . Then calling to minde all that I had seene , I converted it to my particular benefit ; judging , that there is no jesting among the dead , and that those people , that are out of all partiality and abuse of the World , are more fit to give wholesome Counsell than ridiculous advice . VISIONS . The third Vision : OR , The Last Iudgement . MAny are the opinions of men concerning Dreames , and many doe conclude a faith to be given them , in these dayes ; which I will neither contradict , nor approve ; yet I count it not unlawfull to regulate a transitory life by them , especially if they bee of the nature of my last , which thus happened unto me . One Evening , after I had long examined my selfe , by that glasse of Salomon , Ecclesiastes , Sleepe laid his leaden mace upon mee at the end , and this Verse , God will bring every worke into Judgement , with every secret thing , whether it be good or evill . When , Methought , I saw a most beautifull Youth flie in the Aire , and blow a Trumpet ; the forcing of his breath much lessening the sweetnesse of his naturall complexion : yet did the sound thereof find obedience in Marble , and in the dormitories of the dead : for instantly all the Earth beganne to move , and give place to bones , which sought one another . Those which had beene Generals , Captaines , Lieutenants , and Souldiers , came first out of their Sepulchres , provoked with courage , as if the Trumpe had beene a signall to warre . Covetous men issued amazed , beleeving that it was for pillage . And they that had given themselves over to wantonnesse , conceived it a summons to some Masque or Enterlude . These things I knew by their severall gestures , but saw not one amongst them all , that thought it was to Judgement . Some Soules drew neare with horrour and disdaine of their owne Bodies , and others would not approach at all , seeing them so deformed . Some wanted an arme , others a thigh , and others their heads , yet did they not long seeke them , giving mee therein a subject whereby to admire the Power of God , in that being mixt together , none tooke the legges or armes of their Neighbours . When all the congregated understood that it was the great Day of Iudgement , it was a notable thing to see , how that the Luxurious would not finde their eyes , to the end that they might not beare witnesse against them . Detractours would not acknowledge their tongues , for the same cause ; and Theeves made use of their feet , to flie from their hands . Here I heard a Miser aske another ( who because hee was embalmed , staid for his entrals , which were coffin'd farre off from that place ) if all that were buried should rise againe , and if the bagges that hee had interr'd should rise with him ? And there I saw a troop of Cutpurses , whofled from their eares ( which were offerd them ) fearing they should heare what they desired not . These things I might well behold , being mounted on a banke of earth ; but hearing a cry at my feet which bad mee descend , I obeyed , and many handsome women put forth their heads , calling me ill bred , and unmannerd , for not giving more respect unto them : ( for in Hell also they have this folly to beleeve that men ought to respect them ) They appeared very jocond to see themselves of such exquisite frame , and were not ashamed of their nakednesse . But when they knew it was the Day of Wrath , and their beauty beganne to accuse them within , they put themselves in the way of the valley , with a slow and lingring pace . One that had beene thrice wedded , went inventing excuses for all her Husbands , to whom severally she had deeply sworne , never to remarry : and another said , that shee had forgot her night-cloathes , thinking that they would stay for her at some place of meeting . In this place Physitians were thrust forward , by Patients whom they had dispatched , by anticipation of time . And in that a Judge stood washing his hands , from the innocent blood , that by bribery lay upon him . Divers Divels driving before them Vintners and Tailours , a Lawyer peeping out of his Tombe , asked whither they went ? and being told , to the righteous Iudgement of God , to which they were all called ; he strove to sinke himselfe deeper into his Grave , saying , there is so much way already made , if I must descend lower . A Taverner sweating extreamly , a Devill told him , that he did well to sweat out his water , for hee would burne the better : and this was one of those , that kept a Taverne outwardly , but a Stewes within . A bow-legged Tailour went insulting , I have neither wine nor water to answer for , for I ever eate more than I drinke , but why doe they say I steale ? which another hearing told him , that hee did a great deale of wrong so to despise the Trade . In their walke they met with highway robbers , whom the Divels caught and put amongst them , saying , that they might well beare them company , because they were ( a la mode ) wild Tailours . And after these went Folly compassed on all sides with Poets , Musicians , and Lovers and with all kindes of people besides , that were ignorant of that Day , who in troopes came to the Vale , where silence was imposed on all . The Throne was decked by the hand of the Almighty , and by the same Miracle , God was adorned with himselfe , with mercy for the Elect , and wrath for the Reprobate . The Sunne , Moon , and Starres were his Footstoole ; the winde was husht , the waters calme , the Earth still , and timorous , ready to bee entranc'd for the love shee bore her Children ; and all things in generall very pensive and heavy . The Just were busied in giving thankes to God , and praising his Goodnesse , and the Sinfull were inventing stratagems , to moderate their chastisements . Angels witnessed both by their gate and phisnomy , the care they had to comfort and welcome the Godly . And Divels were ready to unfold their accusations ; and least that any should overslip them , they had set the tenne Commandements to keepe the Doore , which was of that straightnesse , that the leanest and most mortified bodies were faine to leave some part of their flesh behinde them , the entrance was so narrow . The Examination beganne at Adam , who was required to give account for an Apple ; which Iudas minding , and the astonishment hee was in , cried out , Woe is me , what account shall I make , that have sold the Lord of Life , and the Lambe of God ? Then passed the first Fathers , and after the New Testament , the Apostles , who were all seated neare the Chaire of Majesty . And it was a thing worthy of note to see , that there was no respect of persons , but that Beggars and Kings were mixt together , when they went nigh the Divine Presence . Herod and Pilate appeared , and perceiving the wrath of God ( though encompassed with Glory ) Pilate said , Hee that will comply with the times , deserves no lesse ; and Herod , I cannot goe into Paradise , for there those Innocents I slew will cry out against me , but why doe I chaffer ? Hel is a common Inne . A man of a fiery looke started up , and stretching out his arme , said , See there my attestation of mastership ! Every one wondering , asked the Porter who hee was ? but hee overhearing , answered , I am an approved Master of Defence , and these papers are Certificates of my tried valour . Letting them fall , a Devill stooped to gather them up , but the Fencer was more nimble than he , who leaped backward , and drawing his rapier , said , This Steele cannot be● equalled , and if you either budge or speake , I will quickly shew that I am my Arts master . All the Company beganne to smile , and hee was commanded , seeing that hee had but instructed an art , which was one of the principall causes of so many Duels and slaughters , that hee should goe into Hell by a perpendicular line : but hee answering , that hee was no Mathematician , a Divell gave him a by-blow and cast him into the pit . Then came Treasurers and Stewards , who demanding an Advocate , a Divell answered , behold Iudas , a discarded and outcast Apostle , let him speake , for hee hath exercised both professions ; which they hearing , went to the other side , and saw another Devill , that had not hands enow to turne over the leaves , were written against them . Leave all these informations , said the stoutest of them , and let us compound ; Ha , ha , said hee , that read the inditement , Doe you demand composition ? Then 't is a signe your game is naught . This they understanding , and that no offers would be accepted , tooke the way of the Fencer , because they had beene as good men of their hands as hee , and better . They being gone , Loe an unfortunate pastry Cooke , whose adverse party beganne to accuse him ; which hee seeing , and finding by proofe , that hee had put more kindes of meate into his pies and pasties , than there were beasts in Noahs Arke ( there being neither Rats , Mice , nor Flies ) turned his backe , and leaving the word in the Devils mouth , went to see if the place were hot . Then came Philosophers , who made syllogismes against their salvation . And Poets , who would have perswaded the omnipotent , that hee was that Iupiter whom they had so often nominated in their workes . Virgil alleaged his Sicelides Musae , saying , that it was the figure of the Nativity : and Orpheus as the most ancient Poet , stood up to speake for all ; but a Divell accusing him , for having instructed the way of making love to mankinde , hee was commanded to enter once more into Hell , to try if hee could get out againe ; and obeying served as a Guide to his Companions . A rich Usurer knocked , and being asked what hee would have , was told that the ten Commandements kept the Doore , and that hee had never kept them . In that which concernes keeping , said hee , it is impossible , I have swerved ; the first Commandement saith , Thou shalt have none other gods but me ▪ and I think I have observed it , for I have kept Gold ( the worldlings god ) so secret , that neither others nor my selfe might make it the object of their veneration . The second , Thou shalt not make to thy selfe any graven Image , and I have kept ingots and wedges these many yeares , that there might neither stampe nor image come upon them . The third , Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vaine , and I have never sworne in vaine , but alwayes for some great interest . The fourth , Remember that thou keepe holy the Sabbath day , and I have all the weeke long provided hiding places for my treasure , that on that day it might not molest my rest . Honour thy Father and thy Mother , I have alwayes greatly reverenced them , in that I have given them the preheminence , especially in all bad actions . Thou shalt doe no murder , and I did never scarce eate , because that to feed is to kill hunger . Thou shalt not commit adultery ▪ I never did it , for women in that way are not tractable without money ; but if you will let mee come in ( said he , who beganne to be weary with so many interrogatories ) let us not loose time , for hee was so great an enemy to losse , that hee would husband time it selfe ; but saying this , he was led where he deserved . Divers Theeves followed , some of them so active , that they saved themselves in leaping from the ladder . Lawyers coveted the like good fortune , but they were set to goe through the eye of a needle . Scriveners denied their name , saying , they were Secretaries , but Proctours stood to it , saying , they were the procurers of others good ; but there was no defence for either of them . One Devill seeing a Physician , an Apothecary , a Surgeon , and a Barber comming , gave them thankes for most of the Company , sen● thither by their meanes ; and commanded some of his vassals to usher them downe , that they might assay if they could cure the burning Feaver . Another perceiving one to peere out of an hole where hee had hid himselfe , asked what hee was ? who replied , an Empericke . What! Saltinbanke , Mountebanke , and my Friend , said the Devill ! It were better for thee to bee upon some scaffold at some corner of a Street , to passe away the time with idler persons ; but since thou art come , thou shalt not want preferment : goe thy wayes into that quarter , and see if thy balsame bee efficacious against scalding ; so he went on his Friends word . The plea of Taverne-keepers was , that they had quenched the thirst of many poore persons ; and of Tailours , that they had cloathed many ; but this hindred their dispatch . Then Bankers demanded treaty , but their Sentence was pronounced , and bils of exchange were given them , to bee paid out of Pluto's Coffers , where there is no bottome . And afterwards place was given to Women , who approached with pleasing and smiling countenances , endeavouring by those meanes to prevaile : but as soone as they saw the horrid aspects of Divels , they beganne to shrike out , and antedate their condemnation . Bailiffes , Sergeants , Marshals , and many more were yet to bee judged , who being called , said they would willingly suffer , without any further triall . The last was an Astrologer , crying out , that they were mistaken in the calculation of yeares , and that it yet could not bee the Day of Iudgement ; because the Heaven of Saturne , and the moving Heaven had not finished their course : but the Devill rebuking him , said , I wonder that among so many Heavens which you have made in your life-time , you were never so provident as to erect one for your selfe ! for which default , you must now bee transported into Hell , which was accordingly executed . Upon this the Iudgement ended , the Throne was taken up , the shadowes fled to their place , the Aire was filled with milde Zephirs , the Earth was enamelled with flowers , and the Heavens were cleare and translucent ; and I was in my bed , more joyfull than sorrowfull , that I was not yet dead : therefore that I might make use of my Dreame , I undertooke a constant resolve , to keepe a strict watch over my Conscience ; that I may have a defensive armour , when there are no more delayes to hope for , and the soveraigne Judge shall call me before himselfe . VISIONS . The fourth Vision : OR , The Foole Amorous . VPon a Winter-January morning , about fo● a clocke , when cold and sloth kept mee buried under my rugge , better at ease than on a biere , consulting with my pillow upon an amorous fancy that came in my minde . I found my selfe quite strayed from my former meditations , & beheld the spirit of Fallacy , which presented to my imagination Loves inconstancy ; verily thinking I heard this Verse . Ala● ! Coridon , what folly possesses thee ? Afterward not knowing which way I was led , I came into a meddow a thousand times more pleasant than those which are ordinarily mentioned in the inventions of Poets ; where looking about , I espied two delightfull Rivers , that in their labyrinthian Meanders water'd it . The waters of the one were bitter , of the other sweet , yet they mingled together with so peaceable a purling murmur , that they charmed the eares of those that heard them , and qualified affections anxiety . These in their sportive motion directed mee to a goodly faire Palace , of admirable structure , seated in the midst of the Field . The portals were of Dorian worke , richly inlaid , and on the pedestall , bases , pillars , cornishes , chapters , architraves , frizes , and other adjuncts , there were engraved all the trophies and triumphs of that great ( yet little ) God : which with many other devices added radiancy of lustre to the worke . Over the chapter there was this inscription in letters of Gold , cut upon blacke Marble . Blest and most happy is this place , In ever youthfull Love ; Who crownes the noble and the base , As their demerits move . The diversity of stones and colours delighted admirably the sight : the portall was spacious , and the doore perpetually open , to let those freely enter whom singularity brought ; and the place of Porter was allotted to a woman , who seemed to be of the nymphall race ; her visage was celestiall , lineaments amiable , and body perfectly straight , shee was cloathed in cloath of Gold and Silver , glittering with pearles and stones of price , and was an enchantment to all that beheld her , leading captive their iron hearts in chaines of Adma●●t : and though shee was in all things like her name Beauty , yet did she not insult nor deny entrance to any , if they paid for their passage a good looke ; of whose favours I made use of and went into the first Court , where I found abundance of all Sexes , but so changed from their pristine grace that the very memory of it was forgotten ; instead whereof they had put on Loves livery , dejected eyes , yellow resemblance , and mournfull representations . Their talke reflected not upon the faith that is to bee kept with friends , loyalty to masters , nor respect to blood ; but their kindred were mediatours to their owne alliance . Servants became mistresses , and mistresses servants . Women contracted amity with their Husbands acquaintance , and Husbands grew intimate with their Wives companions . On this medly of affections did I stare , when I perceived a creature not perfectly man , nor rightly woman , but partaking of both ; who went and came through the multitude , having on a loose garment , spotted over with eyes and ears ; which marking , and the authority she exercised , I demanded her condition , and what she did ? to which two questions shee thus answered mee . I am Jealousie , the greatest cause of the increase of these sicke and mad persons , which thou seest ; neverthelesse I am not engaged to heale , but to chastise them . Question not mee of any other particulars , for it is a miracle when I speake truth ; because I lessen from my selfe in the delivery , being nothing but sleights and devices : but goe to that aged man that walkes there , for hee is the overseer of the Palace , and ( may bee ) will instruct you ( though slowly ) in all that you require . I did so , and found him to bee Time , of whom I intreated a sight of the roomes and chambers , and that I might visit some fooles of my acquaintance , whom I conjectured were there . He told me hee was busie in curing the diseased , yet notwithstanding shewed mee all things , in giving mee liberty to walke about . Passing the first Court , I entred into the Maidens chamber , ( for the women were separated ) and these were kept in the strongest hold , where the wals were thickest , because of their vehement and violent passions : here I tooke notice of one that lamented , being jealous of a married woman ; and of another that was carried with burning affection to a yongster , yet durst not declare it . How one writ letters full of ambiguities , where there were more lines dasht out than good words ; and another studied with her glasse how to smile and simper , and act the fictive humours , she meant to play her Lover : that eate oatmeale , plaister , jeat , and small coale , to obtaine a pale colour : and this intreated her servant , that in the mornings hee would give her a Serenade of Musique at her chamber window , which implied , that hee should publish to all the neighbours that he was her enamor'd ; this held love letters which she let fly through windowes , and thrust under doores : and that protested to her friend her heart was his , desiring him not to require any thing more ; which he promis'd , and the foole beleeved . Some would marry , to love with more liber●y : and others desired to be with men already married , and these were rank'd in the number of incurable . Having considered all , I durst not stay any longer , knowing by experience that a man runnes great hazard among such allurers : and that hee that gettes clearest off , is often condemned to slavery in the bonds of marriage , which is an engagement to repentance all his life long , without other hope of redemption than by Death : for there is no order to redeeme those that are captives in the chaines of wedlocke , as there is for them that are under the hands of the Turke . I went therefore to the Married Women : and saw many of them whom their Husbands kept tied and cloistered up , to hinder the execution of their designes , that broke both Prison and chaines , and became m●dder than before . Some fawned on and flattered their Husbands , when they had most minde to abuse them : and some stole their money to pay their confederates , yet never tooke heed to the account till the estate was ended : others went to heare Sermons , and on pilgrimages of Devotion , but it was to get the grace and mercy of their holy brethren , by sacrificing to Venus : and others went to Baths , sooner to pollute than cleanse themselves . Such an one recompenc'd her Husbands sinnes in the same kinde , verifying the adage , that None take greater delight to be revenged , than a woman when she avenges her selfe on her Husband with advantage . Such another went to see a Play , that she might be spoken with betweene the Acts. And this last affected her Coach so well , that shee was scarce ever out of it ; of which desiring a reason , 't is because ( said shee ) I love to bee shaken . Among this honourable conventicle those were not seene , whose Husbands were employed in Warre , Embassages , Merchandise , or forraigne Affaires ; because that they depending upon none other in that time , did containe themselves within the bounds of chastity , and as people exorcis'd , were not reputed members of this Common-wealth . The next partition was of Widowes , armed with experience and knowledge , who counterfeited modesty and piety , yet adhered to their desires . One with her right eye wept for her dead Husband , and with her left laughed to her living Friend ; another was more muffled and vailed with passion than mourning , receiving joyfully the present , and forgetting the absent . And others laid wagers , whose vailes and hukes became them best , endeavouring to convert that sad attire into allurement . Those that were old , imitated the actions of youth : and those that were more young , made use of the time , that they might not repent in their age . There were some adored , and some adorers , who being devout , were loves penitents , and in that respect condemned to fast from meats they most longed after , for the carnall have also their Lent. Many outwardly laid on modest colours , though inwardly impudent enough : and many were very insolent , and having heretofore beene Masters , would now make use of that imperious power ; so that the Physitian had much adoe with them . All these infirmities proceed onely through idlenesse , for where that is , lust findes easie accesse . There were some Women who accepted more letters of disburse , than a Banquer of Genoa or a German Hoorder , upon credit of their insatiable desires . Some would not be seene by him that was the visitour , but by the unexpected : and those that were most subtle , made use of their Physicians . One spake to an Astrologer , to cast a figure for her future life ; and another desired of a Magitian secrets whereby she might bee beloved . And how many did I see , that would have seemed as ridiculous as Esops Crow , if their periwigs and frontlets of haire had been pluckt off ! but , at last I got from them , shaking my head , and went to the mens quarter , on the other side of the building . At my arrivall I observed , that the Batchelours greatest folly was obstinacy , for every one knew his errours , hut would not amend . O , that I saw many Gallants brave in apparrell , that had not so much as one penny ! Many Roarers that had heretofore boasted and bragg'd of Ladies favours , that would have beene very glad , if I had invited them to dinner ! And how many were there that had no bread , and yet felt the temptations of the flesh ? Some counterfeited the amiable , wearing perfumes and long lockes not remembring that women take alwayes the superiority of beauty upon themselves ; and others , by their vaunts of warre would passe for Duellists , yet forgot that women are ever fearefull , and quake at the sight of a weapon ; others at midnight walked the round about their Mistresses lodgings ; and others became amorous through infection , conversing with them that were so . This man on Sundayes went from Church to Church , to feed his eye with variety , and that went from house to house to exercise his wit . Some complained of more than they suffered , and others endured without opening their mouthes . Those whose vanity despised things beneath them , pretended to Subjects so high , that they lost their desire ; and those that were distrustfull of their owne worth ( though otherwise people of judgement and understanding ) applied themselves onely to meane objects . Husbands were enchained , yet not lesse mad ; for some forsooke their Wives , and followed their neighbours ; and others tooke for friends their Wives friends , and for Gossips the Mothers of their Children . Widowers practis'd in torments past , searched rest where it was to be found , loving as short a while , and as long as they pleased ; here being amorous , there jealous ; and that which I found admirable in them all , was that they confessed themselves Fooles , yet left not to be so . Men that were most discreet , related their good fortune to those that published their disgraces ; whilest shallow Dolts were commended for secrecy . Some flattered the Chamber-maid , to get accesse to the Mistresse , and others suborn'd the Mistresse to overcome her . These had their pockets stuft with amorous lines , sealed with silke , and endorsed with gold ; and had likewise bracelets , hat bands , knots , and favours , whereof they made survey : and these were the Husbands friends , and voluntarily employed themselves to ease his cares , lending him Horses , Coach , and money ; whilest they hurried his Wife abroad to Gardens , Playes , and Banquets . There were divers Woers of Widowes , some that were beloved , and some not ; some that let themselves easily bee taken , and some that caught others . And there were many , that made their conquests with love and money , and these carried often the victory , because they fought with double armes ; yet sometimes they got the foile , and had not whereby to resist poverty . Having at leasure surveyed all , I went backe into the first Court ; where ▪ Time thrust amongst the Company that encreased dayly , and by his industry recovered some . Jealousie punished those , who were most confident in the subject they lov'd . Memory rubbed over old sores , Vnderstanding was hid in a darke hole , and Reason had her eyes pluckt out . And having contemplated the diversity of Dissimulation , I saw a litle wicket open , where Ingratitude and Infidelity gave liberty of escape to some few : therefore to enjoy the present occasion , I doubled my pace , to get out with the first . When my Boy came and drew the Curtaine , telling mee that it was broad day ; hereupon I awaked , somewhat dulled at my long stay , yet comforted in this , that I have found it by others , and mine owne experience , that Love is nothing but meere and naturall folly . VISIONS . The fifth Vision : OR , The World in its Interior . DEsire the Pilgrim of the Minde , that hates Rest , and delights in nothing but Motion , agitated my Spirit from one passion to another ; till it made mee admire , how so much good , such abundance of evill , should proceed out of one Heart ! and gave way to mine eyes to shut up my senses , and open my fancy to apprehend the consequent . As in a Glasse , so the World appeared unto mee , populated onely with one City of exceeding vastnesse ; in which as I wandered , I marked the uniformity of the Building , and the neatnesse of the Streets ; but exposed my selfe withall to the derision of the Inhabiters , and as if it had been a Maze , could not finde the way out . Now I got into the Lane of Choler , and followed Quarrels through Scarres and Blood ; and anon into the Street of Gluttony , gourmandizing and drinking ; and not long after into the Market-place , where all Vices were compact . In this distraction I was called unto by an Old man , of meane and tatterd attire , but of awfull port , and judicious respect . What are you , Good man , said I ? Doe you envy my content ? Let mee alone ; you Old men are alwayes troubling the mirth of Young people , yet would not willingly leave pleasures your selves . You are going out of the World , and I am but newly come into it , give me ( therefore ) leave to rejoyce and bee merry ; the venerable man ( dissembling his griefe ) beganne to smile ; Sonne , said hee , 't is not to hinder nor maligne thy desires , but through pity that I strive to with hold thee . Knowest thou what the value of an houre is ? or the price of a day ? and hast thou examined the worth of time ? I beleeve not , seeing thou employest it so ill ; that fugitive houres steale away , and robbe thee of so precious a Jewell . What have the dayes that are already past said unto thee ? Have they promis'd thee to come againe , when thou hast need of them ? No certainly . Alas ! they goe and returne no more ! and passing , looke backewards with smiles and jeeres on those that let them slip sounprofitably . Therefore make use of time while thou hast it , least when thou wishest most for it , time will be no more . I must acknowledge , grave Father , said I , that your advice is excellent : but , what are you ? and what doe you here ? If my torne Garments , and Poverty ( answered he ) tell you not that I am an honest man , I must speake my selfe , a Lover of Truth ; my name is The Worlds Disabuser ; these rents come from such as make shew to helpe me , and these blowes and bruises are presents from many , to whom I have given no greater offence than a visit . What madnesse ! the greatest part of the World say , that they desire and love mee , yet when I discover the abuse of it , some despaire , others curse , and all despise mee . Now Childe , if thou wilt see the World , come with me , I will carry thee into the chiefe Street , where all things are beheld in open view , and shew thee how it is in its Interior parts ; for thou seest nothing here , but the shell and appearance . What is that principall Streets name ( said I ) whither you will carry me ? It is called ( said hee ) Hypocrisie , 't is the Street where the World both beginnes and ends , and very great , for there is not any one whatsoever , but hath either an house , or chamber at least in it . Some being constant dwellers , and others termers , there being divers kindes of Hypocrites . See you that Fellow that stands there , he was a ploughmans Sonne , now a Gentleman . Would you take that man for a Tailour ? yet hee is one , though cloathed like a Knight : and Hypocrisie is so generall an infirmity that it is found amongst all trades . The Cobler will be a Translator , the Cooper cals himselfe Bacchus Tailour , because hee makes cloathing for Wine , and the Horse-coursers stile is , Squire of the Field ; the Alehouse is called an Academy ; the Hangman a member of Justice ; a Mountebancke an able man ; the Dicernimble ; a Taverne , a Banke ; the Vintner , a Banker , or Master of Accounts ; Stewes , houses of Commerce ; Whores , Curtezans , Bawdes , devout Women ; Cuckolds , patient men ; lust , friendship ; Usury , Oeconomy ; Deceit , Gallantery ; lying , dexterity ; and malice , gentlenesse of spirit ; cowardise , peace ; rashnesse , valour ; a Page , a Childe of Honour ; a Lacky , a Gentleman on foot ; a Pickethanke , a Courtier ; blacke , browne ; and an Asse is calld a Doctour . But there is nothing here that appeares in its owne forme , or that hath the proper name ; but all the World is full of lyes , in what part soever you examine it . And if you note it well , you shall see that wrath , gluttony , pride , covetousnesse , luxury , sloath , murder , and a thousand others sinnes , proceed onely out of simulation : and that of all sinners , there is none so presumptuous as the Hypocrite ; in as much as other bad livers sinne onely against God , but hee sinnes against God , and with God also , since hee makes him an instrument of his sinne ; and for this cause our Saviour , willing to shew how amongst all others they were hatefull to him , after hee had given many affirmative precepts to his Disciples , he gave them one negative , saying , Bee not sad like Hypocrites : and as he taught them by many Parables , and Comparisons , what they should bee , now lights , now salt , sometimes like Guests , sometimes as the talent ; so also he instructs them what they should not bee , Bee not like unto Hypocrites ; to certifie unto them , that not being Hypocrites , they should not bee wicked , for the Hypocrite is wicked in all things . Upon this discourse wee came into the great Street , where wee tooke an eminent place , to register all that passed . The first remarkable thing was a funerall Convoy , composed of a large retinue of Kindred and Friends , that followed the grief and heavines of a Widower in close mourning , whose head hung downe , and gate was of that slownesse , as if he had not had strength sufficient to carry him to Church without a supporter : which compassionating , O happy Woman ! ( said I ) that hast found a husband , whose love and faithfulnesse , went hand in hand with thee in thy life time , and now followes thee to thy Grave ! And happy man , who hast found so many Friends , that accompany not onely thy sadnesse , but seeme to exceed it . Good Sir , consider a little their anguish . O , that there is nothing but vanity ! answered hee , all that thou seest is not done but by constraint , though those exterior outsides seeme to gainsay it . Seest thou those waxe lights , torches , and the rest of the hearse , who would not say but that they light and accompany something ? and that it is for something that all this funerall pompe is made ? but know , that that which is within the coffin is nothing , for the body was nothing in its life time , Death hath lessened that nothing , and all the honours that are given unto it serve for nothing ; but this is done , because the dead have their vanities and State , as well as the living . There is nothing within but Earth , not able so much as to produce fruit , and more filthy to looke on , than the dirt on which thou treadest , that deserves no honour , and on which the share and plough have no predominance : and that dolefulnesse , which thou thinkest to have noted in these Friends , is nothing but anger and madnesse , that they are not ranked according to their degree and ambition . The Widower also is not so afflicted for his Wives death as thou imaginest , but 't is the expence that vexes him , seeing hee might have performed the ceremony with more ease , and lesse cost . He mutters within himselfe that she hath wrong'd him , in that seeing shee was to die , shee did not die suddenly ; without putting him to such charge in Physicians , Chirurgians , and Apothecaries , who by their bils dispose his goods into parts : hee hath buried two with this , and takes such delight in being a Widower , that hee is upon a treaty already with one , whom hee was a wel-willer unto during his old Wives sicknesse . Thou shalt see him shortly risen , from those deadly habiliments which interre him . I was wonder-strooke at these speeches . Ah! that the things of this World ( said I ) are farre different from what wee see them ! hereafter I will bee more reserved in spending my judgement , and those things I shall clearest behold , will most doubt of . This buriall vanished so soone from our eyes , as if wee had not seene it , or beene likely to have made the same journey ; and as if the deceased had not shewed us the way , speaking in a silent language ; I goe before to stay for you , whilest you keepe the rest company , as I have heretofore done , with as much neglect , and lesse devotion . Wee were hindred from thinking on this , by a noise which we heard in an house behinde us ; where wee were no sooner entred but the assembled beganne a lowd cry , accompanying the sobs and grones of a woman , newly become a Widow . Their sorrowes were very lively , ( yet availed not the dead ) every minute they wrung their hands , and sent forth sighes that seemed to proceed from the center of their hearts . The chambers of the house were disrobed of their ordinary furniture , and the poore afflicted was laid on a bed , in a roome hung with blacke . One of he● Comforters said , Alas ! all your teares are to no end , and I am unable to comfort you , being more grieved at your sorrow , than if it were mine owne : another , you ought not so much to macerate your selfe , because your husbands good life assures you that hee is in blisse : and another , that shee must bee patient , and conforme her selfe to the will of Heaven ; which words made her double her complaints , and with greater vehemency to afflict her selfe ; saying , O God! Why doe I live after the losse of so deare and loving a Companion ? O! that I am unhappy in being borne ! Woe is me ! Whither shall I goe ? Who is there now that will take into his protection a poore woman ? a desolate Widow ? and helpe her in distresse ? At this pause , all the rest of the Quire , with instrumentall discord of their noses and handkerchers , deafened the house ; and then I found , that in such occasions women purge by their eyes and noses , some part of their bad humours : notwithstanding I could not bridle my selfe from participating some part of their griefe , and to turne towards my Conductour with these words . Pity , said I , is very well bestowed on a Widow , because shee is forsaken of the world ; the holy Scripture cals them mutes and tonguelesse , for so the Hebrew word signifies ; there is none that speakes for her , and though she take so much courage as to speake for her selfe , yet none will heare her , so that that imports as much also as if shee were dumbe . Give mee leave therefore I pray you to commiserate the like misfortune , and to mixe my teares with these womens ; and wherefore , said hee ? To what purpose is it that thou knowest many things , if thou dost not make a right use of them ? Observe a little and thou shalt see , how this Widow , that seemes externally to have her body made of Hosanna's , and her soule of Allelujahs ; hath a sable shrowd , but greene heart . Seest thou the obscurity of this Chamber , and those vailes that cover their faces ; these are to disguise their teares , which are nought but dissembling . Wilt thou comfort them ? let them alone : they will revell as soone as they see no body by them , that may serve as a subject to exercise their hypocrisie . And then will the Gossips beginne their game ; Come , come , will one say , bee comforted , you have an advantage , you dreame not of ; your husband hath left you young , and there are brave men enow , who will seeke after and make very much of you . You know partly already the intentions of such a Gentleman , I am confident that if he once obtaine you , he will be so kinde , that you will quickly forget the dead . Faith , if I were in your place , sayes another , I would not bee long pleasing my selfe ; for one lost , there is ten found : I would practice the counsell my partner gives you . But I thinke you are much obliged to him , that visited you yesterday . What say you ? Is hee not an handsome man ? yes truly , and loves you extreamly . Alacke , alacke , will the Widow then answer , winking with her eyes , and drawing her lips together . T is not time yet to speake of that , all depends on Gods providence , and he will ordaine it so , if hee finde it necessary ; yet your counsell is not to bee neglected . Dost thou marke what extreame griefe shee suffers ? her husband is but newly dead , and shee already wel-nigh married . Consider therefore with thy selfe , how vaine and unprofitable these exclamations are , which thou hast made . Hee had hardly ended , when wee heard in the Street a great hurly burly of people ; and going forth saw a Sergeant bleeding and out of breath , crying out , Assist the Kings Officers , and running after a Debtour that fled from him . The Common-wealth is much beholding to this Fellow , and ought very well to reward him , said I , seeing he thrusts his body into so great hazard , to save their lives and goods . See how hee is torne and bloudy , in having employed his strength and power for the good and rest of it . Soft and faire , said the aged man , if I stop not your course you will never leave ; Sonne , assure thy selfe that he that is fled is one of the Sergeants friends , with whom hee often carrous'd ; who for not having made him partaker of a late booty hee had taken , the Marshall in spight would arrest , and cast into prison ; but after he had broke from him , and soundly beat him , hee is escaped as you see ; and had need to have good legges , seeing hee runnes against those , that are swifter than race-horses , where they thinke to bee well paid . But note , that it is not the least thought of the Weale publique that puts him on this action , but his private particular and malice in being made a Novice . For I assure you , that if his owne interest had not excited him to it , and that hee had not sought after him in way of revenge , the Thiefe is too much his Friend , and their combination is too great for the Law to take place . And though such as are decayed and in debt are their chiefest gaine , yet their revenues proceed from whips , the rope , and the gibbet . Therefore I wonder why the World that hates them so much , doth not resolve to forsake vice and practice vertue , ( though but for a yeare or two ) to bee aveng'd and starve them . T is a cursed office since their wages are paid by Belzebub . Hee had spoken more , if hee had not beene deterred , by the great noise and ratteling of a Coach , in which was a Courtier , so swelled with pride , that he seemed to bee heavier than the foure horses which drew him : hee sate as upright as if he had been a statue , and was very greedy in his lookes , but so disdainfull that every one offended him : his attendants on foot were many Lackies , and in the Coach a Jeaster and a Flatterer , who in obscene jeasts , and itching talke , past away the time . Happy art thou , said I , as soone as I saw him ! without doubt the World is not made but for thee , seeing thou livest in pleasure and greatnesse ! Surely thy riches are well employed , seeing thou maintainest so great a train● ! All that thou thinkest and speakest ( said my Moderatour ) is nothing but surmise , yet hast thou truly said , that the World was made for him , since it is nought but vanity and folly , with which hee is puffed up . I beleeve if thou dive into his retinue , thou wilt see more Creditours than Servants ; for his food and livelyhood proceed onely from loane , credit , hope , and faire promises : and if the secrets of his Conscience were ript , the inventions , that hee uses to maintaine life , would bee found more irkesome , than if hee got his bread by delving . Seest thou that Buffoone and Sycophant ? they are subtler than himselfe , for they deride , yet live upon him . Can there then bee a more miserable man , than such an one , who buyes flattery at so deare a rate , and thrusts himselfe into engagements to get nothing but false reports ? Foolish Lord ▪ hee is ravisht with the adulation of these two , who perhaps have told him , that there is no Courtier his equall , that the Ladies have no object more pleasing , nor conversation more enticesive ; when they doe it onely to soothe and impoverish him . Last of all , a Lady passed by us , whose gesture and behaviour was so gracefull , that shee attracted all the beholders . Shee went with an artfull carelesnesse , hiding her face from those th●t had already beheld her , and shewing it to such as tooke no notice of it : her visage was snow and roses , which contrary to the order of nature united themselves : her lips vilified Corall ; her teeth Pearle ; and her hands Jessamine ; and in briefe she was the Epitome of earthly beatitude : and I my selfe was more inflamed with a desire to follow her , than any other object I had seene ; but at the very first step my Guide stayed mee , yet not without my expression of discontent in these termes : hee must bee infinitely barbarous , that is insensible of the delicacy of so excellent a beauty , as this is : how fortunate is he who meets with so favourable an opportunity ! and how worthy that shall injoy her ! what unknowne pleasures is hee master of , that in all liberty possesses a faire wife , who had not beene made but for the love of man ? what lightenings and thunder shot from her eyes ? what enchantments and fetters for a free Soule ? was ever Ebony so blacke as her eye-browes ? Chrystall cannot brag of so much clearnesse as her front . Certainly , this is the master-peece of nature , and the haven of all desired wishes . Till this present , said my aged Friend , I thought thee onely blinde , but I see thou art both blinde and foolish . Did I not tell thee that the eyes were made to see , but that it is for the understa●ding to make election ? Know , that this woman , who seemes so really perfect , slept yester-night very ugly , and now is nothing but prime and plaister ; the haire shee weares came from the Tire-women , for her owne was blowne away with an ill winde that came from France , and if any remaines , shee dares not shew it , least it should accuse her of the time past : her eyes have no other browes than those which a pensill makes , nor her haire any other colour ; neither doth her pulchritude proceed from any other nature , than Alembicke waters , essences and painting . Kisse her , and shee is oile ; embrace her , pastboord ; and bed her , an Anatomy . Upon what then is thy judgement founded , that thou thinkest her so accomplisht ? Thine eyes , have they not betraid thee ? Admire then thine ignorance , and understand ( not to trouble my selfe with this womans imperfections ) that most of the Sexe are Hypocrites , and that the wise mans saying can never bee contradicted , One man among a thousand have I found , but a woman among all those have I not found . So I awaked . To the REader . Reader , I here present thee with a Vision of Hell , as a proviso whereby to amend thy life . Therefore if thou intendest from this houre to beginne , bee not culpable of thine owne vice , in calling me Detractor , or evill speaker , seeing that none can calumniate the Damned . If Hell seeme to bee too great , take what portion thou wilt , and be silent : Is it not a curtesie when thou hast as much or as litle pain given thee as thou pleasest ? And bee not amazed if thou finde nothing but horrour and obscurity , for thou maist well thinke that neither the Sunne nor joy inhabit there . I need not begge any ingenuous mans approbation , nor feare any envious mans censure . If my Booke please thee , thou maist drive away thy idlenesse with it ; or otherwise , bring it to light upon thy chimny hearth . At which I will not bee offended , since I have given thee counsell so to doe ; nor the Bookseller neither , if thou hast paid him for it . VISIONS . The sixth Vision : OR , Hell . T Was Autumne , a time that invited many to their countrey houses , to receive the fruits of the Earth , and participate the second Spring : a Season of retirement that called me also , though to no mansion of mine owne , yet to a receptacle of my Friends where I found the ; refreshment as healthy , and the artlesse Groves to yield as pleasant a solitude , as the artificiall Wildernesses of the great . In so much , as it quite altered my wonted study , from the dangerous shelves that many are split on , to the harmelesse Mountaines of Innocency and Labour : and from corrupted riches , and delicious fare , to low feeding and elated Soules . On which dreaming under my meane Canopy , I was transported through the neighbour Wood , into a place farre from home , of no more night ; and to one of the most delicate prospects that could bee presented , where the serenity and temperature of the Aire , did in their gentlenesse fanne the heat , and ravish the Senses . On one side the Rivers of liquid Chrystall prattled with the gravell and flinty borders , on another the Trees conversed with their Aspin murmur , and in the midst of these the Birds sung ; I know not whether in emulation of Plants and Fountaines , or by way of parallell to give them musique for musique : but for as much as our desires are vagabond , and dulled with the much enjoyment of any one thing , solitude beganne now to be troblesome , and I was impatient for association : when at the same instant ( a marvelous thing ) I saw two wayes whose birth came from one place , which separated themselves by little and little , till they were past a separable distance . That on the right hand was so narrow , that comparison can hardly be made , and for being but litle frequented was so full of brambles , thornes , stones , and ruggednesse , that it was a mighty toile to enter or goe upon it : yet were there some signes of divers persons that had passed , though with infinite discommodity ; for they were faine to leave both their money and their flesh behinde them . And of some passing , but their faces were wanne and meager , and they walked without ever looking backe : to say that one might ride upon it , is a Fable , for having asked that question , a Traveller told me , that Saint Paul was faine to alight ; and indeed I saw not any tracke or footing of Beasts , rut of Coach or Cart-wheele , nor print of Litter or Sedan , nor was it ever remembred that there had been any . At which wondering , I applied my selfe to a poore man , that rested to take breath , and asked if there were no Innes nor places of retreat to lodge in . No , you must alwayes goe , ( said he ) there is no staying , neither Inne nor Taverne ; for this is the way of vertue , and but few passe through it . Know you not that in the race of life , to be borne is to set forth , to live to pilgrim it ; that the Inne is the world , and in going out of it there are not many steppes , to enter either into paine or glory . Saying this he went on , God be with you , ( said hee ) hee that goes in the path of Vertue , looses time when hee staies ; and besides there is danger in answering those , that informe themselves onely through conceitednesse , and not to be instructed . He proceeded , stumbling often against the stones , and breathing at every step , and the teares which distilled from his eyes ( in mine apprehension ) were able to have softened Flints , to be more pliable to his feet . Upon what spleen was this way made ( said I ) ? It is very rude and laborious , and to make it more distastfull , the parties that goe in it are untractable and uncivill . This agrees not with mine humour ; therefore I left it , and turning on the left hand got into the other ; where I saw much Company , many Gallants , and many Coaches full of humane Beauties , whose eyes seemed to contend with the Sunne ; some singing , others laughing , and others eating , so that I tooke it to be some great Festivall . And then remembring this sentence , Tell mee with whom thou conversest , and I will tell thee what thou art ? that I might not be reproved for frequenting bad Company . I endeavoured to follow this that seemed to be so good ; and hardly had set forward , but like to him that glides upon ice , I found my selfe in the midst of the rout , amongst Ladies , Masques , Comedies , Playes , Banquets , very consonant to mine inclination . This was not like the other tracke , where for want of Tailours , people went naked : there were to spare here as well as of Merchants , Skinners , Millaners , Upholsters , and all Trades besides , that serve to advance humane pride , as Embroiderers , Perfumers , Sadlers , Shoomakers , Sempsters , Periwig-makers , Haberdashers , &c. And for Inne-keepers and ●Vintners there wanted not abundance : with whom I had not long beene , when I perceived some of both wayes to change , and shift from one to the other , by very strait by-pathes : at whom wee all jeasted , but chiefely at those that went from us , calling them Dissemblers , precise , wretched , and the refuse of the world ; at which some of them stopped their eares and passed by , some staid to heare us , others were deafened with our cries , and others flattered with our perswasions revived . I saw also another middle way , where many went , afarre off seeming to bee vertuous , but nearer hand were of our side . One told me they were Church-hypocrites , and were but onely vailed and disguised to us , for they had no Maskes , nor false Visards for the Eyes eternall . They went alone , and were held to bee lesse subtle than Moores , and more brute than lawlesse Barbarians : because that they are contented to enjoy the happines of the present life , not knowing any other : but these that can tell what temporall and eternall life is , are so accursed , that they neither freely enjoy the present , nor hope for that to come . So that the saying is to good purpose , that They gaine Hell with a great deale of desert , that is , with much paines taking . Here the Rich followed riches , and the obstinate went apart , for they would not bee governed by the more advised , but ranne with all their might , and got alwayes to be first . Magistrates drew after them all litigious Negociators . Passion and Covetousnes allured bad Judges . And Kings trained whole Common-wealths ; neither wanted there Ecclesiasticall men of all sorts , and whole Regiments of Souldiers , who had beene truly glorious if they had set forth the Name of God in fighting , as they had done in swearing . Some generous Spirits of the number of those who were on the right hand , seeing these wretches carrying yet pasports , and petitions for reward of their service , cried unto them moved with charity ▪ and as if they had gone to some battle , To mee Souldiers , to me . What mean you ? Is it an action of valour to forsake this way , for feare of the dangers that are in it ? Come on boldly , for wee are assured that those that fight lawfully , shall be crowned : let not vaine hopes of reward entice you : a worthy man ought to seeke for nought but vertue , and shee is the reward of her selfe , if you rely upon her : turne therefore and take part with us , and you shall bee happy . The Souldiers heard very attentively all these perswasions , and ashamed of reproofe and cowardise forsooke their Station , and hanging downe their heads cast themselves into a Taverne . After this I saw a great Lady , without either Coach or Litter , on foot and alone , and sought out a Scrivener to record it , being no ordinary accident , but finding none , I verily beleeved that I was not mistaken ; yet calling to minde that I had heard that the way to Paradise was full of crosses , austerity and repentance , and considering that I saw not any about mee , but such as discoursed of wantonnesse and delight , I beganne to question and misdoubt ; but I was drawne from this incertainty , by a multitude of married men , who led their wives by their hands , that people might take notice of their affection ; nevertheles some of them were their husbands fast , since he dicted himselfe that shee might feed on dainties ; and others his nakednesse , since hee grudged his owne apparell to maintaine her in her Coach , and to buy toyes , gownes , and superfluous trifles for her : by which I learnt , that a man ill married , may boast that hee possesses in the person of his wife , all necessary qualities to bee put in the list of Martyrs : and seeing their troublesome life , confirmed my first faith , that I was in the good way : but that opinion had no long durance , because I heard a voyce behinde me crying , Make way there for Apparatours ; O God! said I , Are there Apparitours here ? Without doubt wee are going to Hell ; and it was true , for at the same instant wee were got in by a little Doore made like a Mousetrap , easie to enter , but impossible to get out . I was greatly astonished , in that in all the way no man remembred whither hee was going , and yet when wee were entred , every one agast beganne to looke upon his Companion , saying , it is infallible , we are in Hell . At which mine heart beganne to quiver , and with teares in mine eyes , I beganne to bewaile those I had left behinde mee in the World , as my Kindred , Friends , and acquaintance : but turning my face towards the way by which wee came , I saw most of them comming , whose arrivall did a little comfort mee , beleeving that they would bee some consolation in so sad an abode , if perhaps I should stay there long . Notwithstanding I pursued my journey , and noted the Gate to bee guarded by seaven Divels , who kept account of all that entered . They asked my name and quality , and knowing my designe , let mee passe ; but demanding of the throng behinde mee the same question , and being informed Tailours , one of the Divels answered , What a strange thing is this ? I thinke that all the Tailours in the World beleeve , that Hell is made for none but them , they come in such clusters . How many are there , said another Divell ? There are an hundred , said the former : Deceive not your selfe , said his Companion , It is impossible if they be Tailours there should bee so few , for the least band that comes dayly of them , is not lesse than a thousand or twelve hundred , and we have already so many , that we know not where to pile them , neither know I whether we ought to receive them or no : the poore Smell-feasts were much frighted at these words , beleeving they would thrust them out ; but at last they found favour and got in . I may well say ( thought I then ) that these people are very wicked , since the refusall of entrance into Hell is so rigorous a threatning to them . Hereupon behold a Divell of the Blacke Guard , who stackt them up in a place of stowage , they being by reason of their dry seeding accounted the wood of Hell . From the Gate going through a darke entry , one called mee by my name ; at which horrour strucke I turned , and perceived it to bee a man , yet very hardly because of the darknesse which was very thicke , and the flames that environed him . Ah , Sir ! said he , Doe you not know me ? I am such an one , a Bookeseller ; Is it possible , said I ? Yes , answered hee , 't is I ; Who would ever have thought it ? Hee beleeved that I would have pitied him ; but when I had seene his face , I beganne to admire the righteous judgement of God in his just punishment , for his Shop was a very Store-house of Sedition ; and it was he that sold and vented all those wicked , scandalous , and schismaticall Pamphlets , against Church and State Government , which at this day runne up and downe under the hands of malevolent , disaffected persons : and somewhat neare him , I also espied another , whose Shop had beene no other than a Stewes of licentionsnesse , and a Magazine of heresies , fraught with nothing more than obscene , scurrilous , prophane , railing , & popish Pamphlets , tending to the subversion of all good maners , & to the encrease of superstitious vanities . After that I had a while beheld them , I made shew of administring redres unto them , but they perceiving that I counterfeited , said , What would you ? t is the cursednes of our condition , that wee are not condemned for our owne workes onely , as other men are , but endure and suffer for the workes of others ; yet herein we receive some solace , in that we are not alone , but have Printers our coequals , who for their owne lucre , have been as forward as our selves in these things ; and for ought wee see , suffer more extreamly than our selves , and that for nothing more than for their unjust and unconscionable dealings towards us , in often printing such great numbers of overplus bookes to their owne abundant benefit , and our great losse and detriment . More they would have said , but that a Divell with the smoake of his loose paper , stopped their breath ; to avoid which fume I went on , saying in my selfe , Alas ! If there are men condemned for selling and printing the evill workes of others , what shall become of the Writers , and those that practice them ? I passed on , and went into a Cave , where I saw many burning in immortall Fire . One of them said I , I never oversold , I never sold but that which was just , why am I thus afflicted ? When I heard him say he had sold that which was just , I thought it had beene Iudas , and went nearer to see if hee were red haird , as wee commonly imagine : but I found it to be a Mercer , dead not long before . How , World-thrive ( said I ) are you here ? he scorned to answer , because I gave him no better Title : but one of their Torturers ( to augment their paine ) These Drapers , Mercers , Goldsmiths , and Silkemen ( said hee ) would alwayes shape their false lights and waights according to their fancy , and make their measures of what length and shortnesse they pleased , and now they finde the gaine on 't . But if the World would be wise , they would quickly banquerupt all these kinde of men ; for then they would understand , that Stuffes of Gold and Silver , and Silke that Plate , Diamonds , and Pearle , that Lace , Silke , and Cloath , and all other things upon which they set unmercifull rates , are things rather superfluous than necessary , and that these are they that feed all your disordinate and foolish expences , to which they allure and flatter you with a Lover called Credit , by meanes whereof they invisibly ruine you . The Divell would have spoke more if I had not left him , to see from whence proceeded those peales of laughter , which I heard . They were Spirits deriding one , who would not submit because he was a Gentleman , shewing his Pedigree taken from the Heralds Office ; but a Divell told him , Gentleman ( said he ) let your descent bee what it will , you have not done in your life time any other , than the works of an infamous man , in swearing , blaspheming , and haunting of Brothell-houses , and Tavernes ; in which respect , your Armes are discarded by the Court of Hell . Hee that is vertuous , is the truly Noble : yet though a man were an upstart , ( as you are ) if his actions were worthy imitation , wee dare no more touch him than a thing sacred . Your billetting would not have been made here , if you had bin better than others : but since you esteeme your selfe so noble , you shall be burnt that we may preserve your ashes : this said , he cast him into a furnace . Taking the left hand , I saw a number of old men , tearing their flesh , and lamenting bitterly , and inquiring what they were ? This is the Inclosure , said one , of those Fathers , who damne themselves that their Posterity may bee rich , and who otherwise are called the ill-advised . Miserable that I am ! ( said one of them ) I never had in all my life time so much as one minutes rest , I did not eate , slept not , and went almost naked , tormenting both my body and minde to gather substance , that I might richly marry my Children , and with great summes purchase them Offices and honours : which done I died without being sicke , that I might diminish nothing of those golden heapes , I had gathered together ; and yet the breath was scarce out of my body , but they quite forgot mee ; no teares , no monrning , and as if they had had certaine intelligence of my damnation , they neither charitably wish me a joyfull resurrection , nor accomplish that which I commanded them ; nay more , to aggravate my torments , God suffers that I see them from hence consume and spend in dissolutenesse , those goods for which I have so impoverished the World . T is no time now to complaine , said a Divell , Have you not heard being on Earth this Proverbe , Happy is the Childs whose Father goes to the Divell ? At this the poore men multiplied their cries , which object moved me to so great compassion , that I could no more behold them . But a little farther espying an obscure Dungeon , in which was heard a great jangling and clattering of chaines ; I asked what place that was ? and was answered , it was the bounds of O that I had ! I understand you not , said I , what are they ? These are ( said one ) the Ideots of the World , who gave themselves over to vice , to their insensible damnation ▪ and now remembring what they should have done , and did not ; to defend themselves from the paines they suffer , they continually cry , O that I had confessed my sinnes to the Lord ! O that I had repented ! O that I had gone to Church ! O that I had served God! O that I had releeved the poore ! O that I had refrained my tongue , and many other exclamations like unto these . After these late Repentants , I met others farre worse , who were in a baseCourt full of much nastinesse ; and wondered to heare the title that belonged to them , which was as a Divell told mee , God is mercifull , and will forgive . How can that bee , said I , that mercy should condemne , since that condemnation is an action of Justice ? You talke like a Divell . And you said the Divell , like a Foole , since you know not that halfe of those that are here are adjudged by Gods mercy . But , to make you understand the Riddle ▪ Consider how many Sinners there are , who when they are admonished of their evill doings , leave not for all that to continue and increase them more and more , in answering to their Reprovers , God is mercifull , hee regards not so small a thing , his mercy is so great : and thus whilest they hope in God , persevering in their wicked wayes , wee never distrust them . After your reckoning , ( said I ) none may rely on the Mercy of God . You are dull , said hee , you must trust in it , 't is that that helpes forward good desires , and rewards good actions , but it is denied to those that are obstinate in their wicked wayes , for it is to play with Grace , to beleeve that it serves to cover guilt , and to thinke that a man may receive it just when hee hath need of it without ever endeavoring to get it . Gods mercy is infinite for his Saints and repentant Sinners , who struggle to become worthy ; and those that have the greatest share , are such as are most fearfull ; but hee that knowes how great it is , makes himselfe unworthy the effects , when he turnes it into the liberty of evill doing , and not into spirituall profit . Can it be ( said I overwhelmed with marvell ) that so good a lesson should proceed from the mouth of so mischievous a Doctour ? Which spoken ▪ the Divell shewed mee a flaming partition , wherein ( as one of the Tortured told me ) were those that were afflicted with suddaine deaths . You lye , ( in reverence bee it spoken to the Gentleman that heares mee ) said the Fiend , no man dies suddainly . Death uses no surprize . There wants never warning . How is it that you complaine of dying suddenly , when since your very birth , since you beganne the course of your life , Death was alwayes with you ? What is more ordinarily seene in the World than dying and buriall ? What is spoken of more in the Pulpit ? or read of more in good Bookes , than the frailty of life , and certainty of Death ? First of all the body , growes it not every day nearer and nearer to its Tombe ? Cloathes , weare they not ? Houses , decay they not ? Your owne Diseases , and those of others , knocke they not at all houres at the Gates of your Soules , remembring them that they must dislodge ? Sleepe , represents it not to the life the death of living man ? and life , is it not maintain'd by the death of beasts ? And for all this , you are so impudent , as to say that you dyed suddenly . No , no , change language , say hereafter that you are unbeleevers , dead , without ever thinking that you should dye ; and learne besides , that Death takes as soone the youngest stripling , as the agedst decrepite ; and according to what they have done , be it good or ill , she proves either a Mother or a Stepdame . He shewed me also a vast Cauldron , savouring of many oily sents , wherein were preserved Apothecaries , Comfit-makers , Chirurgions , Distillers , Barbers , and Mountebankes , with many more , for feare of rottennesse , saying , these are the true Alchimists , and not Geber , Ruspicella , with the rest ; because they onely writ of what metals Gold might bee made , but made it not ; or if they did , none ever since could penetrate into the depth of their secrets . But these , out of puddle water , stickes , Flies , dung , Vipers , Toads , simples , sugar and excrements , can make Gold , of better substance than all those could , that ever medled in the art , because that theirs is ready coined for use . In which respect wee are carefull to preserve them , least our treasure should decrease . Hereupon another Divell made signes that I should come unto him without noise ; which having done , hee set mee against an open casement , saying , looke in there , and see the ordinary exercise of fowle Women . I did as I was commanded , and beheld a very great number , some whereof were putting blacke patches on their faces ; others pluckt up the haire on their eyebrowes , and others that ▪ had none made use of blacke Lead , some put on fore-tops of counterfeit haire , some placed Ivory teeth in their gummes , in stead of those of Ebony which were fallen out . This eate Ambergreece Comfits to purifie her breath , and those held boxes of painting , with which they daubed their faces , and by this meanes became infinitely shining , without being either Starres or Sunnes . Well , said the Divell , would you have beleeved that Women had been so inventive and ingenious to perdition ? I knew not what to answer , but turned away , and saw a man sitting on a Chaire all alone , without either fire , ice , Divell , or racke about him ; who neverthelesse cried out with the fearfullest cries that ever I yet heard ; his heart t●ickled drop by drop from his eyes , and he tore his bre●st , and gnawed his armes , in so furious a manner , that I thought he had been mad ; O Lord ! said I , with what despaire is this poore man transported ? no body to my thinking doth him any harme ; Friend , my Friend , What Fury bewitches you ? For what doe you complaine being here alone , free from all manner of Torture . Alas ! said hee , with a terrible voice , I feele in my selfe all the pangs of Hell together . You see not the Hangmen that are linkt to my Soule ; you see them not ( said hee , reiterating his cry , and turning about as distracted ) but hee sees them , whose severe and implacable Justice can measure offences , with torments without measure . O Memory ! thou art to mee a cruell Divell ! memory of the good I might have done , memory of those wholesome counsels I have despised , and the evils I have committed , Ah! that thou dost afflict me ! And to heape up my misfortunes , when thou leavest me , my Reason beginnes her course , and the imagination of that glory I might have had , and that others possesse , without having bought it so deare , as I have done the paines I suffer ! O understanding ! What cruelty dost tho● use towards mee , in setting before me Heaven and Paradise , so full of beauty , joy , content , and delight , and yet drownest mee more and more in despaire ! Some release I pray thee . And thou my Will , Is it possible that thou refusest to make a truce for one poore moment ? You that are a Pilgrim of the other World , who aske what torments mee ? Know they are the three powers of my Soule , converted into invisible flames , and into three Executioners , who without hand or Element , burne and teare my Entrals . And if by chance they cease to wracke mee , the Worme of Conscience gnawes my Soule , as the perpetuall food of insatiable hunger . Ending this word , he cast forth a deepe groane , and turning from me ; Mortail , said he , Consider that those of the World , who were illuminated with the Gospell , and endowed with celestiall Graces , and have not employed them to their owne Salvation , carry their Hell in themselves , and are tormented with the like misery as I am . This said , hee beganne his first worke : and I departed very pensive , apprehending in my selfe , that that man must needs have heavy crimes upon his Conscience . But the Divell seeing mee sad , whispered in mine eare that it was an Atheist , who neither beleeved in God nor the Divell . O that an understanding man is really accursed ( replied I ) when he cannot tell how to make profit of that Talent , which God hath given him ! Not farre off , I saw abundance of People , drawing a fiery Cheriot through a burning Lake , with rings thrust through their tongues , to which the harnesse was fastened ; and a Divell going before them with this Proclamation , This is the punishment of swearers , slanderers , and lyers . In the Waggon were easie beleevers ; and in a roome whose prospect looked upon them were beautifull Women , tormented in quality of Witches ; at which mine heart melted , but a Divell came to comfort mee , saying , Doe you not remember the evill they have done you ? Have you not often found by experience , that they use a certaine kinde of Magicke that destroyes ; therefore their paine is agreeable to it . I followed my devillish Conductour , and saw Judas ▪ accompanied with false Stewards . T●●tours , and such O●ficers as himselfe , some whereof had no ●●●●heads , and others no face . ● seemed to bee well pleased with them , who related the exploits they had done in his imitation . Going nearer , I saw that their torment was like that of Titius , on whose entrals a Vultur still gnawed , for their Consciences were their greatest Tormentours . I could not suppresse the desire I had to speake , perjured , disloyall , traitour , villaine above all example ( said I ) how durst thou bee so vile , as to sell thy Master , thy Lord , and thy God ? Why , answered Judas , doe you complaine of that ? You should rather commend than condemne mee , since you receive so great a benefit thereby . T is for mee to bewaile that am excluded from the possession of so great a good , as I have put into your hands . But thinke not that I am Iudas alone , Know that since the Lords Death there have beene and are worse than I , more wicked , and more unthankfull , witnesse Heretickes , and Schismatickes . For if I did once sell my Master , I was in part cause of the Redemption of Mankinde ; but they in selling him , you , and themselves , have lost all the World . And others , who are not content to sell him onely , but they scourge , and crucifie him , more ignominiously than the Jewes , in their wicked lives . And though I know that repentance now availes mee not , yet I would have you on earth to looke into yourselves before you censure me ; since I was the first Steward condemned for sale , and not for bargaine , as is the use and practice of all my fellowes . I would heare no more , but making way , saw a great bulke of building which seemed like some inchanted Castle ; in which were many Venereous Divels tossing Whores and Thieves from scalding oyle into frozen ice , to heate and coole their appetite . One of the Females stepping to the threshold , where I and my Guide stood , Gentlemen ( said shee ) I pray you tell us whether this bee justice to condemne People both for giving and taking ? A Thiefe is condemned because hee takes from another , and an Whore because shee gives . For my part , I maintaine that there is no injustice in us ; for if it be justice for every one to give of his owne , and that we doe no other , wherefore are we damned ? Wee found her question too difficult to bee derided , and therefore sent her to Lawyers and Counsellours , who were not farre from her : but remembring that I had heard her speake of Thieves , I asked where Seriveners were , because as I came , I overtook none by the way : I beleeve , said my Divell , that you met not any . Why ? Are they then allsaved ? No , said he , but they come neither on foot nor horsebacke , but flying on wings a million in a flocke ; in respect of which lightnesse , they are tormented in an upper Chamber . I past by , and not farre from thence went unto a place , in which many Soules were shut up , some whereof were very silent , and others clamorous . One told me it was the empalement of Lovers , at which I was something grieved , seeing that Death doth not kill the sighes with the body . Some talked of their passions , and endured a torment of loving distrust , and others attributed their losse to their desires and imaginations , wherof the force of the one , and , the colours of the other , did present pictures to bee a thousand times fairer than persons and substances . The most part-of them were disquieted and molested with a torture called I thought . ( as a Divell ●old me ) and asking what that was ? Hee smiling replied , 't is a torment agreeable to their offence ▪ for when Lovers see themselves deceived in their hopes , either in the pursuit or possession of their Mistresses , they say alwayes , I thought that shee did love mee , I thought shee would have beene the raising of my fortune , I thought that shee would have been faithfull to me ; so that the cause of their 〈◊〉 proceeds not from any other thing but I thought . Next to Lovers were Poets , who endured the same punishment , because their passions were not much different . These men are of very jeasting humours , ( said the Divell ) for whilest that others mourne and bewaile their sins , they sing theirs , and publish them every where . For if they have but once laine with a Cloris , Phillis , Silviae , or Melita , by the meanes of one song they will walke her through a kingdome dockt like a Chimisticall Goddesse . They will give her golden haire , a Chrystall forehead , eyes of Emralds or Diamonds , teeth of Pearle , lippes of Purple and Rubies , with words of Muske and Amber : and yet for all these riches of which they are so prodigall , they cannot get credit for a meane sute among Brokers , a course shirt among Sempsters , nor a crackt beaver at the second hand . Fearing too long a stay , I went on to see the devout Impertinents , who make prayers and requests to God full of absurd extravagancies . O that they gave testimony of much griefe ! Their tongues were chained in everlasting silence , and their bodies made crooked and bending to the Earth , condemned to heare for ever the fearfull cries of a wheazing Divell , who thus reproved them . You brazen-fac't abusers of Prayer , and the long sufferance of GOD , presumptuous , who dare treat with the Divine Majesty , with lesse respect than you would doe with a Merchant with whom you traffique : how many times have you made these execrable petitions ? Lord , take my Father out of this World , that I may enjoy his goods . Let my Brother die within few dayes that I may succeed him in dignity . Grant that I may finde a Mine of Gold at my feet . That I may bee fortunate in play . That my Sonne and Daughter may be richly married . That the King may cast his favour upon me . And adde unto these rash demands ; Doe this Lord , and I promise to give money towards the marriage of Orphants , to build Almes-houses , and relieve Hospitals . What blindnesse ! to promise gifts to him , from whom you desire riches , and to whom all things belong ? What arrogancy ! to require of God in quality of favors those things , which he gives ordinarily for punishments and chastisements ; and although you doe obtaine , yet you never performe your promises . How many protestations have you made to God , his members , and his service , when you were in the abysse of raging and tempestuous necessity , on land , at sea , in sicknesse , in despaire , of which you have held no reckoning when you have obtained your wishes . But you were never other than Hypocrites and deceivers . Your oathes and vowes were never made through devotion , but necessity . Did you ever aske of God your Soules rest ? the increase of Grace , his favours , and inspirations ? No verily , and I beleeve you were altogether ignorant of the worth of these spirituall riches , thinking too much on temporall ; and knew not that the most pleasing sacrifices and oblations to GOD , were purity of Conscience , humility of spirit , and servent love and charity . Hee takes delight that men should be mindefull of him , that he may multiply his benefits , but they never remember him , but when they feele affliction , and that is the reason God sends them calamities , to maintaine their zeale . Unjust demanders ! Consider now how little those things you have desired , and God given , have staid with you : and how unthankfull they have bin , ( though you have ever cherisht them ) since they have not accompanied you to your last end . Consider that your Children and Kindred doe so little remember what goods you have left them , that they employ not one penny to pious uses , yet they are excusable , in that seeing that you did none in your life time , they know you cannot take pleasure in them though performed after your death : and besides that you are in a place which they trust never to deserve . Some of these miserable men would have answered , but the muzzles that lockt up their speech would not permit them . Thence I went into a great Hall , smelling abundantly of Sulphur ; wherein were Alchimists , whom Divels examined with much trouble , for they could not understand their gibbridge : their talke was altogether of metallicke Substances , which they named after the seven Planets , as Gold the Sunne , Silver the Moone , Brasse Iupiter , Tinne Venus , &c. They were all charged with furnaces , crusibles , coales , bellowes , argall , minerals , dungs , mans bloud , and alembicke powders ; some calcined , others washt ●here they purified , there separated , made firme that which was volatile , rarified and converted into fume , that which was firme : in another place they transmuted formes , and fixed Mercury ; then having resolved the viscous matter , exiled the subtle part , and fire corruptible , when they came to the coppell all exhaled in vapour : some disputed whether the fire was to be made of Beech or Maple ? whether or no the fire of Raimundus Lullius was to bee understood of lime , or of the effective light of heat , and not the effective heat of fire ? Others with Hermes ensigne , gave the principle to the great worke . Others looked upon the blacke become white , hoping to see it red . And whilest that the proportion of nature with nature , did contend and aide it selfe ; whilest that the rest of their blinde Oracles did waite the reduction of the first matter ; in lieu of converting dung into haire , and humane bloud , ingots , and wedges of Gold ; they turned fine Gold into fine ordure , became fooles , beggars , and false Coiners : how often did I heare them say , The Dead Father is risen , kill him once more ! How many did I see busied to explain these words , so often repeated by al Chimist authours , God be praised , who suffers that out of the vilest thing in the world , so excellent and rich a matter should bee made ! Some said they had found the sense , and that if the Philosophers Stone was to be made of the vilest thing in the World , it was to bee made of publike Strumpets , because there is nothing so infamous in Nature , as to prostitute ones body to all commers ; upon this opinion they went to boile and distill them ; but a Divell came , saying , Gentlemen Philosophers , will you know assuredly , what is the vilest thing in the World ? It is Alchimists , therefore desiring to make the Philosophers Stone , following the method wee heard you talke on ; wee will put you into the fire to make an experimentall proofe . As hee said , so t was done , and the poore mad Chimists burned almost with their owne wils , so great a desire they had to see the Elixir : Not farre off from these , I saw a great society of Astrologers , and superstitious men . One of them who was a Fortune-teller , looked upon the hands of all the condemned , saying , it is very easie to know by the Mount of Saturne , that you were to bee damned ; and as easily to bee distinguished by this girdle of Venus , that you are all lechers . Another who was encompast with Spheres , contemplating the Starres , rising up cried out , O God! What misfortune ▪ If my Mother had but been delivered of mee one halfe houre sooner , I had beene saved ; for at that instant Saturne changed aspect , and Mars lodged in the house of life . Another said to the Divels that tormented him , that they were best to bee assured that he was dead , for his part he would not beleeve it , because he had Iupiter for ascendant , and Venus in the house of life , not having any evill aspect ; which signified that hee should live , an hundred and one yeares , two moneths , sixe dayes , foure houres , and three minutes . And another reduced his Science into certaine heads , to divine of things to come , and know things past ; yet could not guesse at the time that was now present , nor of his owne and his Companies damnation . Besides these there were many Magicians , Negromancers , Sorceresses , and Inchanters in the same station ; and many places of expectation void , which were said to be kept for certaine great men , who added faith to these devillish . Disciples . At last I beganne to bee very weary , and looked about to see if I could finde any place to get out ; which striving to doe , I was ( before I was aware ) in a long Gallery , in which was Lucifer Prince of Hell , environed with his whole Court composed of he and she Divels ; for there are Females as well as Males : but fearing to faile in respect and civility , his horrible countenance also frighting mee , I staid at the entry thereof ; when the Usher of the Chamber came and told me , that being a Stranger , his Prince had commanded him to bring me in , and shew mee all the rarities . I thanked him for the honour his Master did me and for the paines hee tooke himselfe ; and complementing , beganne to consider how the place was better adorned , than those are of our greatest Lords and Potentates , though the most curious in the World : for they have nought but dead Statues , or painted pictures , dumbe , insensible , immoveable ; but here all the persons were animated with breathing and life : and which was most rare , were of no base condition . None but Emperours and Kings , some Ottoman , some Roman , some Christian , besides many Queenes , Princes , and Princesses , who would binde mee to too long a description in nomination . But for as much as I was not able any longer to endure the aire of this hot Climate , I intreated the Fiend to shew mee which way I might get out . Yes , said he , follow me . And then he shewed mee a passage , through which I got into the same Vale I mentioned at the beginning of this wonderfull discourse ; trembling and rejoycing both together , and meditating on the divers punishments many were tormented with , who perhaps had lesse deserv'd them than I my selfe ; which made me undertake a constant purpose , to live for the time to come in such sort , that I may avoid feeling the reality and truth of those torments , which I beheld now onely in vision . I intreat thee Reader to make thy profit hereby , by mine imitation , that thou maist need no further experiment . FINIS . Imprimatur , SAM. BAKER .